#love that she skipped the back of the head soft launch and just went for it

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baby's first hard launch x

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

Where Will All The Martyrs Go [Chapter 8: She's The Salt Of The Earth And She's Dangerous]

A/N: Be sure to vote in the poll pinned to the top of my blog AFTER you finish reading!!! 🥰

Series summary: In the midst of the zombie apocalypse, both you and Aemond (and your respective travel companions) find yourselves headed for the West Coast. It’s the 2024 version of the Oregon Trail, but with less dysentery and more undead antagonists. Watch out for snakes! 😉🐍

Series warnings: Language, sexual content (18+ readers only), violence, bodily injury, med school Aemond, character deaths, nature, drinking, smoking, drugs, Adventures With Aegon™️, pregnancy and childbirth, the U.S. Navy, road trip vibes, RIP Jace (again).

Series title is a lyric from: “Letterbomb” by Green Day.

Chapter title is a lyric from: “She's A Rebel” by Green Day.

Word count: 7.4k

💜 All my writing can be found HERE! 💜

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist 🥰

“I’m sorry if I was a creep when we first met,” Aegon says. He’s been oddly philosophical since he was burned. “I hadn’t seen a hot single chick in a while, and I wanted to fuck you.”

Cregan siphoned just enough gas from a decrepit Chrysler Sebring in Merna to take the Tahoe two and a half hours west to Little Thunder Bay Campground on the shores of Lake McConaughy, a manmade reservoir and New Deal project from the 1930s. You glance over at Aegon dubiously, amused. “Do I count as hot?”

“Yeah, Chippendales, you’re hot. In like a…you live in a cabin and knit sweaters by a crackling fireplace kind of way.”

You smile. “So you got over that.”

“Oh no, I still want to fuck you. Now I just know you better, so I wouldn’t want to offend you by being obnoxious about it.”

“That’s sweet, I guess. I appreciate your discretion.”

“No problem. If you ever decide you want to take a ride on a less distinguished Targaryen brother, let me know.”

The two of you are fishing from a boat launch, dry splintering planks of wood, opaque rippling water, soft wind and bright sunshine from an aquamarine, cloudless sky. Cregan found the fishing poles in the abandoned RV you’ve moved into, a Winnebago Spirit with one of those stick figure family decals on the back window, Mom, Dad, four lovely children and a dog too, all of whom are perhaps alive but more likely dead and in any case nowhere to be found here in this tranquil corner of western Nebraska, 150 miles from the Wyoming border. Helaena digs worms from the earth, then Rhaena slices them into wriggling segments with a hunting knife and brings them to you and Aegon to be impaled on barbed hooks. Aemond, Rio, Daeron, Luke, and Cregan are swimming about twenty yards down the beach, soaked boxer shorts and nothing else, splashing each other and scrubbing the grime off their skin from a morning spent gathering wood for the firepit and the grill; Ice is paddling joyfully alongside them. Baela floats on her back and peers vacantly up into the vast blue nothingness. Aegon is not permitted in the water, as his leg is an open wound beneath his bandages. You ask him as you recast your fishing line: “Why are you like this?”

“Like what?”

You shrug, smirking guiltily. You thought it was obvious.

Aegon throws back his head and cackles, slow and lazy. “Oh, I get it. A loser.”

“I didn’t say loser.”

“You thought loser.”

“I implied loser.”

“It’s alright. I’ve been called worse things by people I admire much less.” He contemplates his answer as he gazes down into the water, sluggish stoned reverie. Aemond must be almost out of morphine by now. At last Aegon says: “I think the first thing I ever learned was that no matter how hard I tried, no one was ever going to love me. Not in a normal kind of way, Disney movie love, Christmas rom-com love. So I stopped trying. Mother wanted me to play piano, so I bombed the recital. Father wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer, so I skipped class, went golfing and yachting, didn’t even bother to pay someone to write halfway decent essays for me. If they couldn’t love me unconditionally, I wasn’t interested in meeting their conditions.” Then he chuckles, the breeze combing through his hair, ninety degrees and only getting hotter. “I refused to work. All you’ve ever done is work. You must hate me.”

“No, I get it.” You reel in your line; a fish has stolen the worm from your hook, tiny clandestine nibbles. You impale a slimy new victim and recast. “No one wants to be used.”

“Yeah. Exactly. I wasn’t going to spend my life doing shit I didn’t want to do so my parents could brag about me to their insufferable friends and absolve themselves of their mistakes. Mother married a man who didn’t give a fuck about her, Father ignored us all. Me being a success story would have given them the impression they did something right. I couldn’t have that.”

So Aemond had to be the success story instead. You glance down the beach at where he is bursting through the water and slicking back his dripping hair from his face, showing Luke a bone he found in the muddy silt of Lake McConaughy, hopefully not human.

Aegon follows your eyeline. “Aemond went the other way, I guess. Always so pathetically desperate for their approval. Scrabbling for crumbs of it like a rat. That’s what the thing with Alys was all about, it’s the only explanation I have. Older woman, surrogate mother, comforting but chilly, fawning but forbidden, always keeping him at an arm’s length and rewarding his tricks with treats.” He smirks flirtatiously, then sees that he’s hurt you. “Oh, um, I mean…look, it wasn’t…it wasn’t a good thing, you know? He wasn’t happy. It was a seven-year-long psychotic episode, not a relationship.”

“You mentioned that Criston likes Aemond,” you say, pivoting. “The…what is he? A family friend, an assistant?”

“My mother’s personal security guard. And yeah, he cares about Aemond. He’s proud of him, he trust him, he thinks he’s more capable than any of the rest of us, and that’s probably true. It’s definitely true compared to me. But that doesn’t mean Criston always knows how to express it.”

You look out over the water, trying not to imagine Aemond touching Alys, this woman you hate without knowing her face. You wonder if he ever wishes you were more like her: older, clever, entrancing, masterful. “It must have been a strange way to grow up.”

“Cold,” Aegon says. “Hollow. Holidays, birthdays, vacations, everything. You go through the motions but something’s always missing. When you’re little, you think it’s your fault, and then eventually you realize that they’re going to be miserable whether you’re there or not. But you can get out if you’re willing to run far enough.” He scratches at his forearm, and your eyes catch fleetingly on the black ink of his tattoo: It’s not over ‘til you’re underground. You had told Rio something similar when you were stranded on that transmission tower in Catawissa, Pennsylvania. “This is fucked up, and I don’t mean that I don’t feel bad about what happened to Jace, and I get that millions of people have died agonizing deaths, and that all sucks, believe me, I know, but this…” He gestures vaguely, to the zombies and the desolation and the collapse of everything you’ve ever known. “It was kind of my Get Out Of Jail Free card. And in a weird way…sometimes I feel like I’ve been happier since the world ended than I ever was before.”

You smile. You know what he means. “Even if your leg gets infected and we have to saw it off without anesthesia like you’re a Civil War soldier?”

Aegon laughs and shakes his head, his hair flopping around. It’s almost long enough for him to have a man bun like Cregan’s if he wanted one “No, probably not. Also, what’s the Civil War?”

“Forget it.”

“No, now I want to know.”

“It’s kind of a long story.”

“Aemond said something interesting this morning while you were picking blackberries with our favorite Trump supporter,” Aegon tells you, salacious and sly, offering a tantalizing morsel he knows you’re powerless to refuse. He pauses and waits for you to admit it to yourself.

“Fine. Okay. What?”

“He said that when you and Cregan are standing next to each other, you look like you belong together.”

You groan, quite loudly. “I have zero interest in Cregan romantically. Literally zero. I don’t think he sees me that way either.”

Aegon shrugs. “The dating pool is awfully small nowadays, Banana Chip. Anyone who’s not a corpse or an immediate blood relative starts to look tasty.”

“So that’s why you like me.”

Aegon grins, teeth he shows often and easily, so unlike Aemond in every way. “No. I think I’d like you anywhere.” He tugs languidly on his fishing pole. “I want a new golf club.” He forgot his at the house in Broken Bow where Jace died.

“We’ll see.”

“I want new shoes too.” One of his Sperry Bahama sneakers was burned beyond repair and filled with shreds of his own singed flesh, scraps like soft bacon fused with the padding and insole. “And some polos.”

“I’m not a Big Lots.”

“Who the fuck shops at Big Lots?” Aegon’s fishing line jerks, and he yanks hard on the pole before reeling in his catch. Suspended at the end is a long green creature, yellowish spots and a villainous angular face. “That is one ugly bitch.”

“It’s a pike,” you say, and then when you grab it you observe that the misfortunate fish has the barb of the hook piercing not through its lip but one of its bulging, glassy eyes. “Oh my God!”

Aegon squeals, horrified. He offers no meaningful assistance. “That’s so gross, that’s so gross, what are we going to do?!”

“We have to, like, I don’t know, grab the back of the hook from inside its mouth and pull it out of the eyeball, I guess…?!”

“Yeah, awesome. Good luck with that.”

You reach tentatively into the pike’s gaping mouth. Its jaws snap shut, needlelike teeth stinging your wrist. “Ow!”

“Cregan!” Aegon bellows. “Cregan, help!”

Now the others are running to the boat launch to see what’s going on, Helaena and Rhaena from the shore, everyone else from the lake, Luke helping Baela wring the water from her sundress and Ice galloping alongside Cregan. He gets a look at the pike and guffaws, loud and rumbling.

“Poor little guy. That’s some bad luck he’s got.”

“Can you get the hook out?” you ask, eager to surrender the fish, which is still thrashing franticly and gnashing its teeth, mindless cold-blooded death throes.

“Of course I can.” Cregan plucks the pike from your grasp, shoves his massive hand into its mouth, and rips the hook out with one effortless maneuver. The pike is freed, but its eyeball remains speared on the hook. Then Cregan spies blood on your wrist. “You okay there, Miss Chips?”

“Oh yeah. I’m fine.”

“Freaking disgusting, man,” Aegon mutters; he and Rio are ogling the disembodied eyeball, complete with a frayed optic nerve like a tail, with identical, stunned revulsion.

You turn to smile up at Aemond, but he doesn’t notice you. He is staring at Cregan, his sole blue eye narrow and fixed and flat like still water.

~~~~~~~~~~

“The closest town is Ogallala,” Aegon says as he lays his map across the wooden picnic table. The rest of you are seated around him and picking flaky white meat from between the thin, fragile bones of the pike, which Cregan has gutted and cooked on the large metal grill that careless camping families once roasted marshmallows and hotdogs over. Helaena is at the edge of the table and writing in her spider notebook, elegant loops of cursive. Ice is lying on her belly and gnawing on a rabbit she killed for herself, its doomed black eyes gazing up at you.

“That has to be what, ten miles south?” Rio says apprehensively.

Aegon licks grease from his fingers. “Yup. A little more, probably.”

“What about Lemoyne?” Daeron says, pointing. “Or Keystone, or even Belmar? They’re all closer.”

“See how small the names are written?” Aegon tells him. “That means they’re not actual communities. They’re like a few stop signs and maybe a Dollar General and that’s it.”

“I love Dollar General,” Cregan says, nostalgic. “Man, do y’all remember Chicken in a Biskit? I used to park myself in front of the tv and eat boxes and boxes—”

“It has to be Ogallala,” Aemond insists. “We need pharmacies and grocery stores and cars to siphon gas from, we need a real town.”

Rhaena chews her lower lip anxiously. “The Tahoe is empty. We have maybe half a gallon left and that’s it. Just enough to get down to Ogallala if we’re lucky, but not back.”

“So we’ll drive until it dies and then we’ll walk. Cregan has a gas can in the back, if we find fuel we can bring some back to the Tahoe and continue from there.”

“Walk, huh?” Aegon says, looking down at his bandaged left leg, which he can’t put any weight on. He gets around by hopping, leaning against other people (oftentimes against their will), and being carried by Rio.

“Well, you’re not going,” Aemond tells him. “And Baela isn’t either.”

Baela, gazing blankly down at the map, says nothing. A brown striped snake darts through the grass only a few feet from the picnic table, moving swiftly towards the lake, and there are alarmed gasps and yelps.

“Northern water snake,” Helaena says, glancing up from her notebook. “Not venomous.”

“Good,” Rhaena replies with a shudder.

Luke says fearfully as he reads the map: “Aemond, last time we went into a town that big was Broken Bow, and…Jace…the farmhouse…”

Aemond slams his fists down on the table. “We have to, okay? We need food and water. We need bullets. I need more pain meds and bandages for Aegon, I need antiseptic and Neosporin, and Vaseline for when he’s healing, and supplies for when Baela goes into labor too, since I’ve had to use everything I had saved.”

“We need pads and tampons too,” Helaena says as she examines the black-ink inventory in her notebook. “And Advil, lip balm, bars of soap, hair ties, and socks and underwear. And that green jelly aloe vera stuff for Aegon’s sunburn.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Aemond agrees. “We need a lot of things. And we have to refuel so we can keep moving west.”

“We could stay here,” Baela says, so softly that at first you aren’t sure if you heard her right.

“What, Baela?” Rhaena asks gently.

“I want to stay here.” Baela is more resolute now. “I want to have the baby here.”

Nobody knows how to respond. Rio gives you a troubled glance. You nod in agreement, so subtly you doubt anyone else notices. Not an option.

Aemond is calm but unwavering. “Baela, I’m sorry, but that’s not possible.”

She pleads her case. “I like the Winnebago. I like the lake. I’m comfortable here, and we’re out in the middle of nowhere, and I…I think we could make this our home for a while, now that we’ve found someplace like this. Someplace quiet and safe.”

“We’re not safe here, Baela,” Aemond says. “It feels like we’re safe, but we’re not. We aren’t a big enough group to reliably be able to defend ourselves. We don’t have adequate supplies. We have a lake to our backs, sure, but the rest of the shoreline is open for anybody to walk right into, and our visibility is blocked by trees. No one has stumbled across us yet, but that doesn’t mean they won’t. And if they do we’re extremely vulnerable. But when we get to the west coast, we’ll be home.”

“I’m tired of running. I’m tired of being afraid.”

“I understand. I am too.”

“It’s different,” Baela says, abruptly fierce. “You don’t know what this feels like. None of you do. I’ve never given up and I’ve never asked to be taken care of, I’ve always been the strong one, but I’m so goddamn tired, and I want to have my baby here, and I…I…” Her large dark eyes are glistening, haunted. “Every time we’re driving I feel like I see him sitting next to me, or standing out in the middle of the road, and then I have to remember what happened all over again, and…I just…I don’t want to do this anymore.”

Rhaena takes Baela’s hands in her own, skims her thumbs across Baela’s knuckles; Luke rubs her back reassuringly. The rest of you can only offer silent, pitying looks. There are no easy answers, no fortuitous gold strikes, no shortcuts. The only way out is through.

“Whatever you guys decide, I’m leaving either way,” Rio says. “Sophie’s waiting for me in Oregon. I can’t just hang out in Nebraska forever. I’ll walk if I have to.”

“It’s over a thousand miles,” Aegon tells him.

“Doesn’t matter, man. I gotta do it.”

You add: “Obviously, I’d have to go with Rio.”

Both Aemond and Aegon appear startled. “We’ll be on the road again soon,” Aemond promises. “Tomorrow, if we can find gas in Ogallala.”

“I’m not going,” Baela whispers.

“We have to, Baela,” Rhaena implores. “It’ll be alright. We’ll take care of you, and the baby too when the time comes.”

Baela stands, strides to the Winnebago, disappears inside and slams the door behind her.

“She’ll be okay,” Rhaena tells the rest of you. “She’s…you know, she’s shaken up. She’s not thinking clearly. But she’ll realize this was the right decision. The only decision, really.”

“It’s best if we can get set up somewhere permanent before she goes into labor,” Aemond says, as if he’s defending himself. “Traveling with a baby…Baela recovering…it would be very dangerous for all of us.”

“Luke and I are thinking the same things, Aemond. We agree with you.”

He gives Rhaena an appreciative smile, very small but sincere. Then he turns to Daeron. “Baela and Aegon will have to wait here when I go south to Ogallala, since they can’t walk in the event the Tahoe runs out of gas. You’re going to stay behind to protect them.”

“Got it,” Daeron says soberly. All the bullets are gone; his compound bow, fed with arrows fashioned from sticks, is the best weapon you have left. Cregan has his axe, Rio still prefers to bash skulls with the butt of his Remington shotgun, everyone else must make do with hunting knives from that cellar back in Pennsylvania and kayak paddles found here at Lake McConaughy.

Aemond looks around the table. “I’ll need Rio, Cregan, and Luke.”

“And our beloved furball Blue Raspberry Icee,” Aegon says, smirking. “To sniff out any zombies.”

“Yes. Ice too.”

“What about me?” you say, staring incredulously at Aemond.

“Not you. You’re staying here in the RV.”

“If you and Rio are going, I’m going.”

“No, you’re not,” Aemond says. “You’re the best shot, and we all agree about that, but we’re fresh out of bullets. You therefore have no advantage tactically.”

“What’s Luke’s advantage?”

There are awkward chuckles. Aemond leaves the picnic table and gestures for you to follow him. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Why?”

Aemond doesn’t answer; he keeps walking until he’s hidden amongst a small grove of Kentucky coffeetrees, oval emerald leaves and umber seed pods that hang from branches, reminding you of skate egg cases—what some people call mermaid’s purses—you once found washed up on the beach outside Djibouti City. Rio teases you: “Ohhh, you’re in troubleee…”

You swat him on the back of the head; his hair is getting long too, dark curls that flutter in the breeze that comes in off the lake, hot and humid, the infinite wildness of July. “If I’m not going, you have to swear that you’ll—”

“I got it, I got it,” Rio says, blasé and jolly. “I’ll look underneath things, I’ll look on top of things, I’ll look everywhere. Okay?”

Aegon kicks him with his good foot. “Get me a golf club.”

“I’m not a Dick’s!”

“Dicks?! Who brought up dicks, you sicko…?!”

You go after Aemond and meet him in the shade, an island of twilight in the omnipotent golden morning. He pushes you against one of the Kentucky coffeetrees—rough bark to your back, prodding you through your t-shirt—and nuzzles your throat as he presses his hips to yours, blissful clandestine surrender as your knees weaken and you gaze dizzily up into the canopy of leaves.

You sigh: “This is not an explanation. This is a distraction. A very enjoyable one, but a distraction nonetheless.”

“Daeron is good with a bow, but he’s young,” Aemond murmurs. “I need you to help him protect the others.”

“You’ve managed to make this sound like a promotion.”

“And,” Aemond continues. “When things get risky and chaotic, and I’m trying to make sure everyone is safe…I find you being around to be…distracting.”

“Rio doesn’t think I’m a distraction.”

He chuckles, avoidant. “That’s not an equivalent situation.”

“I get that Luke has binoculars, but I am also perfectly capable of using binoculars, and I could borrow his and he could stay here. I really don’t think he’d mind being benched, he’d probably prefer it—”

“I always ask you to stay near Rio, and you never do, and then I have to worry about you getting lost or bitten or imperiled in any one of a million other ways.”

“Because it’s not that simple! Rio gets it, I have to be able to improvise—”

Suddenly, Aemond pulls away and asks: “Do you trust me?”

You are bewildered. “What?”

“Because I could understand if you don’t.”

You search his scarred face; he has that look like he’s trying not to reveal too much of himself, to show that he’s nervous or vulnerable or afraid. You touch your palm to his ravaged cheek, your voice soft. “I trust you, Aemond.”

He seems relived. “Good. Then please stay here.”

“You’ll watch out for Rio?” you say threateningly.

“Of course.”

“And yourself too.”

He grins, those small secretive teeth he loves to hide. “That’s the plan.”

“And you’ll check under things and on top of things, and you’ll remember what I said about the racks? When you go into stores and you’re rummaging through—?”

Aemond kisses you, warm and slow and kind, the curve of his lips pleased and mischievous. “It’s flattering that you’re so concerned.”

“And don’t forget the pads and tampons.”

His scarred eyebrow rises half an inch. “Oh?”

“I’m already having pre-period cramps. I’ll need supplies in a few days.”

“You’ll have them. Don’t fear.” Then he studies you, concerned, his brow furrowing and his palm testing your cheek and forehead. “You feeling okay? You’re sure that’s all it is?”

“Oh yeah, totally. It’s very routine at this point, I’ve had a decade to get accustomed.”

“Alright. If there’s anything else you think of before we head out, I’ll add it to the list.” He takes your hand and examines the shallow scratches left on your wrist by the needlelike teeth of the pike. “Let me clean and wrap that up for you. I think I have just enough bandages left.”

“Your worst nightmare came true,” you joke. “I was bitten after all.”

Aemond doesn’t laugh, doesn’t even smile.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s long after nightfall and you and Aegon are keeping watch just outside the Winnebago Spirit, slumped in folding camping chairs people once told their legends from: scary stories, workplace grievances, familial mythology. In the firepit, logs split and pop, and embers glow a bloody red. You’re waiting for the Tahoe to return and trying not to think about the possibility it might not.

“These suck,” Aegon says, garbled by a mouthful of Cheddar Whales, grimacing at the bright blue box. “Why do you and Rio eat these? They’re like…dodgy Goldfish.”

“Are you kidding?! They’re way better than Goldfish! Goldfish don’t taste like anything.”

“And Cheddar Whales taste like salty cardboard. The American Dream.” Aegon passes the box back to you. “They better come back with some SpaghettiOs or Rice-A-Roni or something. I can’t survive on Cregan’s overcooked fish.” He lights a Marlboro Gold cigarette by sticking it into the fire and takes a deep drag, looking up at the stars. Aemond gave him the last of the morphine before he left, and Aegon is floating on a feathery, narcotic cloud.

You say after at last working up the nerve: “So you’re a slut, right?”

He snickers, firelight dancing on his sunburned face. “Slut, loser, you’ve got me all figured out.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Yeah, I guess I’m a slut. Why?”

“Have you ever had trouble…” Your hands flail around aimlessly; it’s so awkward to say out loud. “You know…getting it in?”

“No, not really. But I’m hung like a hamster.” He looks over at you, curious shimmering stoned blue eyes. “Technical difficulties, Chip And Dip? Not enough dipping going on?”

“Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“You’re probably just nervous. Aemond’s a doctor, he’d be able to tell if you had something wonky down there, like those chicks who are born without a vagina. Or with two vaginas. Jesus Christ, can you imagine the possibilities? Why can’t I meet someone like that?”

You stare into the fire, discouraged. “I’m going to ruin everything.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that. Aemond will assume it’s his fault. He thinks everything is his fault.”

Through the darkness, you spot headlights bobbing as the Tahoe approaches on bumpy dirt roads. “Oh, thank God. They’re back.”

“About time. If Rio didn’t find me a new golf club, I’m going to drown him in the lake.”

“He could break you in half.”

“But he wouldn’t.”

“No.”

“Because he likes me too much.”

“Right.”

“Maybe you like me too,” Aegon says as he exhales smoke, his glazed eyes listing to you, his grin crooked and drowsy. “Just a little bit.”

You smile reluctantly. “I might.”

“Cool.” He beams up at the stars, and then says again: “Cool.”

As the massive SUV rolls to a halt, the headlights cascading over you and so bright they’re nearly blinding, you notice the red letters on the grill: GMC. “That’s not the Tahoe,” you say, panicked.

“What? Then who is it?”

“I don’t know.” You stand up, instinctively reaching for one of your M9s; but they’re both empty. All the guns are. Your hand drops to your side.

Aegon, unable to rise on his own, remains in his chair and grips the armrests tightly. He whispers: “Should we go inside…?!”

“They’ve already seen us. But they don’t know who’s in the RV.” Rhaena, Baela, Helaena. With a shiver like a bolt of cold lightning, you recall what Aemond said at the bowling alley back in Shenandoah, Ohio: I don’t want them to know we have women with us.

The GMC Yukon is still running when two men step out, the headlights disorientingly bright. They are both armed, you see immediately, pistols that you’d guess are Colts. Aegon’s hand juts out and closes around your forearm as the strangers approach. They are both young, maybe twenty, and wearing jeans, camo jackets, and baseball hats like they’re going hunting. They stand in the yellow-white glow of the headlights as they watch you.

“Hi,” you say congenially, forcing a smile.

The men glance at each other, then one greets you with a nod. “Howdy.”

“We’re set up here,” you say. “But it’s a big campground. You’re welcome to any of the other spots.”

The man who spoke earlier chuckles and scratches at his short beard. You steal a glimpse back at Aegon: his eyes are huge and horrified.

“It’s real quiet on the lake,” you continue. “We haven’t had any problems, and we’ve been here a few days. It’s a good place. We’re happy to share it. We don’t…” You deliberate what words to use. “We aren’t interested in making trouble. We just want to be left alone.”

The man replies: “I camped here every single summer growing up, learned to fish here, swam in the water with my cousins, brought my girlfriends here to fuck. And now you’re inviting me to stay? You’re not from here. I can tell by your accent. This is my backyard. You’re the one who should be asking for permission.”

Aegon is making a low, whimpering sound; his fingernails are digging into the defenseless, downy underside of your forearm. “We don’t have anything of value,” you say, your voice trembling.

“Uh huh.” The stranger’s gaze flicks to the Winnebago.

“We found it. There’s no gas, no keys. Two of the tires are flat. It’s just shelter.”

“Who else is in the RV?”

“No one.”

The second man is squinting at Aegon. “Is he a cripple?”

“He was burned. That’s why we’re resting here for a while, so he can heal.”

The first man points to the bandage on your wrist. “Did you try to kill yourself? My neighbor did that when her kid got eaten. Slit her veins open out in the middle of the street. Bad scene.”

“I got mauled by a fish,” you reply numbly.

He laughs, a slow, rolling, mocking sort of sound, not taking his eyes off you. Then they drop to the Beretta M9s you have holstered at your waist. “Are those loaded?”

“Yes.”

He signals to the nearest Kentucky coffeetree. “Prove it. Shoot that tree.” You stare at its trunk, stark in the headlights of the strangers’ SUV. Long seconds tick by, the only sound the idling of the engine and the crackling of the firepit. “You can’t,” the man says, grinning. “Because you’re out of bullets. But I’m not.”

He raises his pistol and fires, a thunderclap, a mechanical roar. A small circular wound appears in the tree. Aegon shrieks and tries to stand; he tumbles to the earth when the raw, weeping flesh beneath his bandages betrays him. The RV door flies open and Daeron is the first one out, clutching his compound bow but still blinking his way out of the dreams he was jolted from. He won’t be able to nock one of his makeshift arrows before they shoot him.

“What the hell’s going on—?!”

“Drop it!” the stranger shouts, and both he and his companion aim their pistols at Daeron. He freezes. Baela, Rhaena, and Helaena exit the RV and begin screaming, clinging to each other.

“Do what they ask,” you tell Daeron, trying to remain calm. With great hesitancy, he sets his bow on the earth and puts his empty palms in the air. There are hunting knives inside the RV, you think. Where did we store them? In a drawer, in a cabinet?

The men are now herding you all into the RV, jabbing the barrels of their pistols against your backs and bellies. “Let’s go, everybody in,” the first one says. The second man hooks an arm forcefully under one of Aegon’s and drags him through the threshold, Aegon yowling as his burned leg smacks against the doorframe. The second man forces Aegon and Daeron to kneel on the floor at the front of the RV near the driver’s seat; the other one arranges the women at gunpoint, instructing you to squeeze together to sit in a row on the floral couch. Helaena—farthest from you and closest to the kitchenette booth—is sobbing and covering her ears. Rhaena appears to be hyperventilating. Baela’s head is held high, her face furious and defiant.

Aemond, Rio, Cregan, please come back…

“Now this is interesting,” the first man is saying to his friend. He uses his pistol to indicate to each of you. “We’ve got G.I. Jane, this delicate little sweetheart, a pregnant lady, and Cinderella. Where should we begin…?”

You glance at Rhaena, catch her wide frenzied eyes, then look meaningfully at the drawers across the aisle near the kitchenette stove and sink. Knife? you mouth.

It takes her a moment to realize what you mean, then she inclines her head, an elusive nod. She remembers where they are, where they were stored once she cleaned them this afternoon in the lake water. That’s good; but in order for Rhaena to grab a large serrated hunting knife, the men will need to be distracted.

“There’s a bed in the back,” the second man is saying. “I can see it from here, down the hallway…”

Your gaze is darting around the Winnebago. Aegon is yelling something; the second man pistol-whips him, fortunately not hard enough to fracture his skull.

“Don’t worry,” the first man tells Aegon, background noise you try to ignore as you search for an opportunity. “You’ll get to watch…”

Helaena is trying to get your attention, staring at you with her wide, gleaming blue eyes. You furrow your brow at her, not understanding…and then you see the burlap strap she’s looped around her wrist. Her messenger bag must be in the kitchenette booth beside her. And as you watch, and only for a second, she arranges her fingers in the shape of a gun.

The Ruger, you realize, amazed, that tiny revolver she was always so repelled by. Helaena never used it, but she still has it. And it’s loaded.

Baela is arguing with the men, words you tune out. Helaena points to you, but you shake your head. There’s no way for her to get the Ruger to you without them seeing. You mouth to Helaena, your face severe: You have to do it. Then you look to the first man, presently waving his pistol in Baela’s face.

“I’d like to go first,” you say casually, and all the noise stops.

“No, no, no, I’ll do it,” Aegon tells the men. “You want a blowjob? You want to fuck me in the ass? I’m down. I’m not scared of no dick. I experimented in college.”

Both strangers burst into hysterical laughter. “That’s a mighty generous offer,” the second one says, swiping a tear from his eye. “But that’s not the team we’re on, is it, Wesley?”

The first man, Wesley, is smiling down at you. His gaze sweeps over your body, from your bare feet to your eyes, calm and level. “Why do you want to go first, darling?”

Shoot him, Helaena. Shoot him right now. “I’ve never done it before. I figure I should give it a try before it’s too late.”

Helaena whips the Ruger out of her burlap messenger bag and opens fire. She winces each time it goes off, and her aim is terrible; bullets pierce the ceiling and the walls, striking nowhere near Wesley or his accomplice, but their panicked ducking buys valuable seconds. Daeron and Aegon tackle the man closest to them and wrestle the pistol from his hands. Aegon presses the barrel to his skull, pulls the trigger, kills him instantly. Rhaena flies to one of the drawers and yanks out a hunting knife ten inches long. She buries it in Wesley’s throat, the blade disappearing until the hilt rests on his collarbone. When she rips it free, scarlet blood jets from his severed carotid artery, spraying you, soaking you. Blood is in your eyes and nostrils, hot coppery carnage; when you scream, you can taste it in your mouth.

People are reaching for you and telling you to calm down, that they’ll help you, but you can’t wait. You use your t-shirt to mop as much of the blood as you can from your face and bolt through the door of the RV, running towards the lake. You drop to your knees on the sand and splash yourself, cool moonlit rivulets that wash the blood away. You’re trembling, you’re crying, and when somebody grabs you by the arm you scream and strike out at them, clawing like an animal.

“It’s me,” Aemond says, and only then do you get a good look at him, blood and lake water beading on your eyelashes. He’s wiping blood off your face with his palms, he’s inspecting you for fresh wounds. “Don’t fight, it’s me, it’s me, whose blood is this, what happened—?!”

“You were right,” Baela says to Aemond from where she stands on the sand, a hand resting on her belly. Drifting from the RV are the voices of the others who have just returned: Rio, Cregan, Luke. “We’re not safe here.”

~~~~~~~~~~

The next night, rain falls as you lie entangled with Aemond in the attic bedroom of a ranch house in Red Desert, Wyoming, flashing lightning and flickering candles illuminating bare skin. You are kissing feverishly, your hands all over each other, and Aemond is pushing himself into you; or, rather, he is trying to. There is pain, and you can feel your body turning treasonous, rejecting him, shrinking away from him, fearing that you’ll never be able to satisfy him.

No, no no no…

His voice is hushed and gentle as his lips brush your ear. “Hey, you’re shaking, why are you shaking?”

“I’m okay, I’m fine, keep going.” And then, when he stops: “No, Aemond, don’t—”

“I’m not going to hurt you.”

“You have to. I’ll be okay, I promise.”

Instead, he lies down beside you and turns your face to his, fingerprints on the slope of your jaw. He asks again, more firmly: “Why are you shaking?”

All the walls and arches of you collapse, stones tumbling to crack against the earth. You are suddenly fighting tears. Your words come out in a whisper. “I want this to be real.”

He studies your face, distressed. “What are you talking about?”

“I don’t want to ruin it. I don’t want to lose you. I never thought I’d have something like this and now I’m so afraid of fucking it up.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“That’s what Jace thought.”

Aemond pulls you against his chest and holds you as you sink through him into dark, cold, watery dreams, and doesn’t make any more promises he can’t keep.

~~~~~~~~~~

“What time is it on the East Coast right now?” you ask Rio. It’s May and almost a hundred degrees every day in Djibouti City—arid, rainless, sun glare and dust that sting your eyes—so the Navy has you building at night when they won’t have to deal with quite so many Seabees dropping over from heatstroke. Outside the day is turning to a soft lavender dusk and your shift will begin soon. You are dressed—sand-colored t-shirt, camo pants, work boots—and toweling off your hair, still wet from the shower.

Rio is sprawled across the floor of your room, taking up almost all of it; housing at Camp Lemonnier consists of converted shipping containers, each outfitted with its own perpetually whirring air conditioning unit. He is reading Fifty Shades Of Grey. “Like seven hours behind here, so early afternoon, I guess.” Then he looks up at you, suspicious. “Why?”

“I should probably call.”

“Should you really?”

“I want to. I’ll feel guilty if I don’t.”

Rio shakes his head and returns his attention to his reading material. “I’m not going to tell you what to do.”

“You love telling me what to do.”

“I wish you loved listening.” He flips a page, puzzled. “Why the fuck does Sophie like this book so much…?”

You open Facebook Messenger on your phone and make a call. The wifi isn’t good for videos, but old-fashioned audio calls usually work okay. There is an answer on the fourth ring.

“Yeah?” she says, and you can hear the entire house when she turns on speakerphone: the squeaking of the recliner, the droning of a talk show, indistinct speech and chuckling from other people, glass—cups, bottles, baking dishes, ashtrays—clinking sharply.

“Hi, Mama! Happy Mother’s Day!”

“Aw, ain’t you sweet to call.” And you are testing her voice like water from a tap, icy cold, hot enough to scald. At the moment, Mama sounds perfectly lukewarm. “I didn’t count on hearing from you. I know how busy you are.”

That’s a landmine that you step gingerly around. “We definitely have a lot going on here, and there’s the time difference and everything…but I wanted to make sure to say hi, even if I can’t talk for long. What are you up to today?”

“Oh, nothing much.” You hear her smoking: breathe in, breathe out, a cunning sort of pause as she decides how to proceed. Of course there were no extravagant festivities planned. Nothing ever felt like a real holiday at home: Mama getting sloshed and burning the turkey on Thanksgiving, Christmas presents that had to be returned for grocery and gas money, fistfights and doors ripped off hinges on New Year’s Eve. You had decided years ago that Hallmark channel magic was pure fiction…but sometimes you get glimpses of it now. Thanksgiving dinner in some unceremonious chow hall with Rio and your other friends feels more like a holiday than anything else you’ve ever known. “You still in Africa?”

“It’s Djibouti, Mama, I told you. It’s on the Horn. Across the sea is Yemen and Saudi Arabia.”

“Why can’t they put y’all to work in your own goddamn country?”

“Well, we do that too sometimes.” You stall, listening to her smoking. Rio glances up at you from where he’s still reading on the floor. “They have some incredible beaches here. Yesterday morning we went down to the water and there were all these cute kids playing, and they only spoke French but Rio showed them how to play tic-tac-toe by drawing a board in the sand—”

“I like the beach,” she says, and you know you’ve made a mistake. “You remember that?”

Deflated now: “Yeah, Mama. I remember. Are the boys going to take you to Virginia Beach this summer?”

She scoffs. “We’ll see, but I doubt it. It’s expensive, girl.”

You sigh deeply. Rio was right. I shouldn’t have called. “We talked about this. I need to be saving up to get my own house one day, and my own car, and all those things I’ll need to have a life when I get out of the Navy—”

“And what about my house?!” Mama cries, damn near wails. “I’m gonna lose it! I can’t make the payments!”

You reply calmly: “Mama, that’s your house. That’s your business. And you’ve got more than one kid still living at home long after they’ve turned eighteen, so they need to be the people you’re asking to help, not me.”

“You’re gonna let your Mama be homeless? Is that what you called to tell me on Mother’s Day? What the hell kind of daughter are you?”

“I got out!” you shout into the phone, and Rio is scrambling off the floor to rush to you. “I’m learning things and I’m making money and I’m building schools and hospitals on the other side of the fucking planet, and you can’t be proud of me because you think it means you’ve failed, but the truth is that you could have gotten out too! All of you could have! But you didn’t, it was me, it was just me, and now you hate me for it!”

“You need to come home now,” Mama says. “You gotta take care of me, take care of your Mama. You only got one and she needs you, so you gotta heed me. That’s what’s right.”

“I am not going to spend the rest of my life watching you get wasted in that filthy house, and I’d work where, at the Dollar General? At Arby’s? And get knocked up by the first guy who shows any interest?”

“You’re giving me heart palpitations. I’m gonna have to go to the emergency room and it’s all your fault.”

Rio is whispering into your other ear, one of his massive palms resting on the back of your neck: “Just hang up. It’s not worth it. You can hang up, just hang up…”

“I want things to be normal,” you tell Mama, you plead, tears stinging in your eyes. “I’ve tried so hard to get along with everyone, and help you as much as I can, but no matter what I do it’s not enough, and you’re always mad at me, and you’re always fighting with me—”

“You’re damn right I’m fighting with you, because you’re a spiteful, selfish child.”

“Hang up,” Rio is murmuring. “Hang up, hang up, hang up…”

“Mama,” you say, your voice strangled. “I’m sorry. I have to go now.”

“When I’m homeless, you know you got no one but yourself to blame—”

You hit the red button to end the call, throw your phone down onto the bed, stare at the wall and swallow noisily, choking back sobs. You won’t let yourself cry. You’ve cried enough for them already. You have to keep moving forward. The only way out is through. “You were right,” you say to Rio at last, quiet and raspy. Your hands are trembling. “I shouldn’t have called.”

“Hey.” He grabs your face roughly, forces you to look at him with your miserable shimmering eyes, grins hugely. “I’m your mom now, bitch.”

You laugh as tears spill down your cheeks, let him bury you in one of his smothering bear hugs, cling to him like a life raft in a storm.

[brookghaib-blog]

Whispers of the past pt.5

Pairing : Hoshina Soshiro x reader

Summary: 10 years ago, Y/N went missing after being attacked by a kaiju, now working by Gen Narumi's side as his secret weapon, she hides herself in hopes that one day she reconnects with her first love, Hoshina Soshiro.

an: for a note, the timeline for this would be like days close to the practical exam for the thrid division. I never really gave you a timeline, so my bad, there you go :)

pt.4 - pt.6

--

Chisuka's pov:

After Captain Narumi left my apartment, my emotions were a tangled mess. The almost-kiss left me shaken and confused, and I needed to clear my head. I decided to walk to the convenience store, hoping the night air would help.

The night was cool, a slight breeze rustling the leaves of the trees lining the quiet streets. The occasional distant sound of a car or the murmur of voices drifted through the air. The lights of the convenience store shone like a beacon, offering a brief escape from the whirlwind of my thoughts.

As I wandered the aisles, picking up a few essentials, I tried to focus on the mundane task at hand. The routine helped to ground me, but I couldn’t shake the lingering unease from earlier. After paying for my items, I stepped outside, the night air feeling refreshing against my skin.

I started my walk back home, the streets even quieter than before. The soft hum of the city was barely audible, a soothing background noise. But as I walked, a strange sensation began to creep over me. My kaiju senses, always heightened, were picking up something unusual. I scanned the area, my eyes darting from shadow to shadow, but everything seemed normal at first glance.

Just as I turned down a quieter street, I saw him. A man stood under the dim light of a streetlamp, his back to me. He was dressed in a nondescript suit, his posture relaxed. At first, he seemed like any other late-night wanderer, but something about him set off alarm bells in my mind. My kaiju instincts screamed that he wasn’t what he appeared to be.

I slowed my pace, my heart pounding in my chest. As I drew closer, the man turned slightly, just enough for me to catch a glimpse of his eyes. They glinted with an unnatural light, a predator’s gleam.

"Good evening," he said, his voice smooth and cold. "Out for a late-night stroll?"

I stopped, keeping my distance. "Just heading home," I replied cautiously, my muscles tensing in readiness.

The man smiled, a predatory grin that sent shivers down my spine. "You shouldn’t be out alone at this hour. It’s not safe."

In a flash, his form shifted, his human facade melting away to reveal his true nature. He was a kaiju, a humanoid one, his body radiating with a sinister energy.

My heart skipped a beat. This was no ordinary kaiju. He was intelligent, cunning, and far more dangerous than any I had encountered before.

"You're one of them, aren’t you?" he said, his voice dripping with malice. "A human turned kaiju. How… interesting."

Before I could respond, he lunged at me, his claws slashing through the air. I barely had time to react, transforming into my kaiju form to block his attack. Our claws met with a resounding clash, the force of the impact sending shockwaves through the ground.

The street erupted into chaos as we fought, our massive forms tearing through the concrete and asphalt. I struck out with my claws, aiming for his vital points, but he was fast, dodging and countering with precision.

"You can’t hide what you are," he taunted, his eyes glowing with malevolence. "I'll take your body for myself."

His words fueled my anger, giving me strength. I roared, pushing him back with a powerful strike. He stumbled but quickly regained his footing, a cruel smile on his lips.

"You think you can beat me?" he sneered. "You’re just a failed experiment."

I growled, my claws slicing through the air as I launched myself at him. We clashed again, the force of our blows shaking the buildings around us. I could feel his strength, his power, and I knew this fight wouldn’t be easy.

But I wasn’t alone. I had the skills, the training, and the determination to protect those I cared about. And I wouldn’t let this monster win.

Our battle raged on, the street becoming a war zone. I managed to land a few solid hits, but Kaiju No. 9 was relentless. He fought with a savage fury, each strike more vicious than the last.

Suddenly, he lunged forward, his claws aiming for my throat. I twisted to avoid the blow, but he was too fast. His claws grazed my neck, a searing pain shooting through me. I stumbled back, trying to regain my balance.

"Is that all you’ve got?" he jeered, advancing on me.

I snarled, refusing to back down. Summoning all my strength, I launched myself at him, my claws aiming for his heart. He dodged, but I managed to land a solid hit on his shoulder, sending him crashing into a nearby wall.

He roared in pain, his eyes blazing with fury. "You’ll pay for that," he hissed, his voice a venomous promise.

But before he could retaliate, the distant sound of sirens filled the air. The Defense Force was on their way. The third division. If they saw me like this, they’d capture me for sure. And this other kaiju—whatever he was—would be taken too.

With a final, powerful strike, I sent the figure sprawling. He scrambled to his feet, a look of panic in his eyes. "I have to go," he said, more to himself than to me. Before I could react, he turned and ran, disappearing into the shadows.

I hesitated, torn between pursuing him and escaping before the Defense Force arrived. In the end, survival won out. I turned and fled, my kaiju form melting away as I ran. By the time the third division arrived, I was long gone, just another shadow in the night.

Breathing heavily, I finally stopped in a secluded alleyway, leaning against the cool brick wall to catch my breath. My mind raced with questions. Who was that figure? What was he? And why did he seem so human?

As the adrenaline began to fade, exhaustion set in. I knew I had to get back to my apartment, but the events of the night weighed heavily on me. I had fought to protect the innocent, but in the process, I had encountered something—or someone—new. Someone who didn’t fit into the neat categories of human or kaiju.

I finally reached my apartment, slipping inside and locking the door behind me. The small space felt even smaller after the events of the night, the walls closing in around me. I sank onto the couch, my mind still racing.

I had so many questions and no answers. But one thing was clear: the world was far more complicated than I had ever imagined. And in this new, uncertain landscape, I would have to navigate carefully, relying on my instincts and my newfound allies.

As I sat there, my thoughts drifting back to the strange figure I had fought, I couldn’t shake the feeling that our paths would cross again. And when they did, I would be ready.

The next morning, I awoke to the sunlight streaming through the curtains. The events of the previous night felt like a distant dream, but the lingering soreness in my muscles was a stark reminder of the battle I had fought.

I made my way to the kitchen, the familiar routine of making coffee grounding me. As I sipped the hot drink, I replayed the encounter in my mind, trying to make sense of it. Who was that figure? What was his connection to the kaiju? And why did he seem so conflicted?

--

I made my way to the First Division base. The streets were still quiet, the city slowly waking up around me. The events of the previous night weighed heavily on my mind, and I knew I needed to talk to Captain Narumi about what had happened.

When I arrived at the base, I was greeted by the familiar sight of the bustling headquarters. Soldiers and staff moved with purpose, preparing for another day of battling kaiju threats. I made my way through the corridors, nodding to a few familiar faces, until I reached Captain Narumi's office.

I knocked on the door, and a moment later, it opened to reveal Narumi's sharp, observant eyes. He took one look at me and seemed to sense the urgency of my visit.

"Chisuka," he said, stepping aside to let me in. "Come in."

I entered the office, feeling the weight of his gaze on me. Narumi closed the door behind us and motioned for me to sit. I took a seat, my thoughts racing as I tried to find the right words to explain what had happened.

"Captain," I began, my voice steady despite the turmoil inside me. "I need to tell you about something that happened last night."

Narumi leaned forward, his expression serious. "Go on."

I took a deep breath and began recounting the events of the night before. "After you left my apartment, I went to the convenience store to clear my head. On my way back, I encountered a man… or at least, he appeared to be a man. But my kaiju senses told me otherwise."

Narumi's eyes narrowed slightly. "A kaiju in human form?"

I nodded. "Yes. He revealed himself to be a Kaiju. He was disguise as a human, if not for my senses I wouldn't have suspected. He attacked me, claiming he wanted my body for himself, I think he wanted to use it for disguise, although he didn't seem to know who I was, but he knew what I was."

Narumi's expression darkened, his eyes reflecting a mix of concern and anger. "An humanoid kaiju… we've heard rumors about him, but this is the first confirmed encounter. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I replied, though the memory of the fight still sent shivers down my spine. "We fought, and it was a close call. The Defence Force was on their way, so he fled before they arrived. But he knew what I was, Captain. He knew I was a human turned kaiju."

Narumi leaned back in his chair, his gaze distant as he processed the information. "This changes things," he said finally. "This kaiju seems like a serious threat, and the fact that he can take on human form… it complicates matters."

I nodded, feeling a sense of relief that he understood the gravity of the situation. "I wanted to tell you as soon as possible. We need to be prepared for whatever he might do next."

Narumi's eyes met mine, a steely determination in his gaze. "We'll take this to the higher-ups. They need to know about this kaiju and his abilities. And we'll increase our patrols and surveillance to ensure he doesn't catch us off guard again."

I felt a surge of gratitude for Narumi's support and quick action. Despite the confusion and fear from the previous night, I knew I could count on him.

"Thank you, Captain," I said sincerely. "I appreciate your support."

Narumi nodded, a rare softness in his expression. "We're in this together, Chisuka. We'll do whatever it takes to protect you and our people."

As I left his office, I felt a renewed sense of purpose. This threat of was real and immediate, but I wasn't alone in facing it. With Narumi and the First Division by my side, I knew we had a fighting chance.

"failed experiment". What did he mean by that.. could it be... there's another human like me?

--

Later that day, I found myself in the training area, needing to blow off some steam. The encounter with the humanoid kaiju had left me on edge, and I needed to channel my energy into something productive.

I went through a series of combat drills, pushing my body to its limits. The physical exertion helped clear my mind, each punch and kick a release of the tension that had been building inside me. As I trained, I couldn't help but think about the implications of what had happened. This was a new kind of enemy, one that could blend in with humans and strike without warning. It was a sobering thought, but also one that fueled my determination.

As I finished my session, I noticed Captain Narumi watching from the edge of the training area. He approached, a thoughtful look on his face.

"Good work, Chisuka," he said, nodding in approval. "Your skills are improving."

"Thank you, Captain," I replied, wiping the sweat from my brow. "I needed to clear my head after last night."

He nodded, understanding. "I wanted to let you know that I've informed the higher-ups about the kaiju you reported. They're taking the threat seriously, and we'll be increasing our patrols and surveillance."

I felt a sense of relief at his words. "That's good to hear. We can't afford to let our guard down."

Narumi's gaze softened slightly. "I also wanted to check on you. I know last night was intense, and I wanted to make sure you're okay."

I appreciated his concern, but I knew I had to stay strong. "I'm fine, Captain. Just more determined than ever to protect our people."

He nodded, a hint of a smile on his lips. "That's the spirit. We'll face whatever comes our way, together."

As he walked away, I couldn't help but feel a renewed sense of hope. The fight against the kaiju was far from over, but with allies like Captain Narumi by my side, I knew we had a chance.

--

Third person pov:

The news of the kaiju’s ability to disguise itself as a human sent ripples through the Defense Force. It was a game-changer, a revelation that required immediate action. Captain Gen Narumi decided to call a meeting with the leaders of all divisions to discuss the implications and formulate a strategy. This was a threat that affected everyone, and unity was more critical than ever.

The meeting was scheduled for the following morning, and the conference room buzzed with tension and anticipation as the division captains filed in. The room was large, equipped with state-of-the-art technology, screens displaying real-time data from various sectors, and a large oval table where the leaders now gathered.

Narumi stood at the head of the table, his expression as stern as ever. He waited until everyone was seated before starting the meeting.

"Thank you all for coming on such short notice," Narumi began, his voice steady and authoritative. "We have a situation that requires immediate attention. Last night, one of our operatives, Chisuka, encountered a kaiju. A different kind. This kaiju has the ability to disguise itself as a human."

A murmur of shock and concern swept through the room. Mina Ashiro, Captain of the Third Division, leaned forward, her eyes sharp. "A kaiju that can mimic human form? That's unprecedented."

Narumi nodded. "Indeed. This changes our entire approach. We can no longer assume that kaiju threats are limited to monstrous forms. It is intelligent and dangerous. It engaged in direct combat with Chisuka and managed to escape before the Third Division arrived."

Vice-Captain Soshiro Hoshina, sitting beside Mina, clenched his fists. "We need to increase our vigilance. If it can blend in with humans, it could be anywhere, even within our ranks."

Narumi's expression darkened. "Exactly. That's why we need a coordinated effort from all divisions. We must enhance our surveillance and improve our detection methods. This kaiju poses a unique threat, and we cannot afford to let it slip through our fingers."

Captain Mina added, "We should also educate our personnel about this new threat. They need to be aware of the possibility and trained to identify any signs of deception."

Captain Narumi nodded in agreement. "I've already spoken to the higher-ups, and they are prioritizing the development of new detection technologies. In the meantime, we need to rely on our instincts and experience. Chisuka managed to sense the kaiju despite its human disguise. We need to tap into those skills across our divisions."

As the discussion continued, the captains brainstormed various strategies, from increased patrols and surveillance to joint training exercises. The room was filled with a sense of urgency, but also determination. They knew the stakes were high, but they were prepared to face the challenge head-on.

After a thorough discussion, Narumi concluded the meeting. "We'll reconvene in a week to assess our progress and adjust our strategies as needed. Stay vigilant and keep your teams informed. Dismissed."

The captains rose from their seats, their minds already racing with plans and strategies. As they exited the room, Narumi stayed behind, his thoughts lingering on the encounter. The threat was real, and it was closer than they had ever imagined.

Later that day, Captain Narumi found himself in his office, poring over reports and data. The weight of responsibility pressed heavily on his shoulders, but he was resolute. The Defense Force had faced many challenges before, and they had always emerged stronger. This would be no different.

A knock on the door pulled him from his thoughts. "Come in," he called.

The door opened to reveal Chisuka, her expression a mix of determination and concern. "Captain, I wanted to update you on my findings from last night."

Narumi gestured for her to take a seat. "Go ahead."

Chisuka recounted the details of her encounter with the kaiju providing as much information as she could. Naruto listened intently, absorbing every detail.

"Your instincts were spot on," Narumi said after she finished. "We need to harness that ability. You'll be instrumental in our efforts to track and identify the kaiju."

Chisuka nodded. "I'll do whatever it takes, Captain. We can't let this kaiju go unchecked."

Narumi leaned back in his chair, a thoughtful look on his face. "Agreed. We're facing a new kind of enemy, but we're not alone. With the combined efforts of all divisions, we'll find a way to stop it. And Chisuka, your role in this will be crucial."

She met his gaze, a steely resolve in her eyes. "I'm ready, Captain. Let's bring this kaiju down."

Narumi nodded, a hint of a smile breaking through his stern exterior. "Let's do it. It's time for you to be in action"

--

Hoshina's pov:

The morning air was crisp as Captain Mina Ashiro and I strolled through the practice camp of the First Division. The camp was alive with activity—soldiers sparring, honing their skills, and new recruits undergoing their first drills. It was a familiar scene, one that brought a sense of both nostalgia and pride.

"Have you seen the new recruits in action yet?" Mina asked, her voice carrying a hint of curiosity as she scanned the training grounds.

"Not yet," I replied, my gaze sweeping over the soldiers as we walked. "But I've heard good things. They're a promising bunch. That Kafka, he's hiding some potential, even if the suit is not matching with his body yet, his determination is something that will bring him greatness, I'm very intrigued by him."

Mina nodded, her attention momentarily drawn to a group of recruits practicing hand-to-hand combat. "We've been fortunate to attract some talented individuals. With the kaiju threat growing, we need every capable hand we can get."

As we continued our walk, discussing our latests plans for Shinomiya, the third strongest member of our team, even as a newbie that girl had an amzing strength, we may need her to give her a special spot sooner, the number of kaiju attacks have been increasing too much, it's a waste have someone like her and not put her in the right spot.

Then, I saw her.

Y/N.

She was engaged in rigorous combat training, her movements fluid and precise. She moved with a grace that spoke of years of discipline and dedication. Her face was focused, determined, a far cry from the carefree girl I had known. She wore the uniform of the First Division, blending seamlessly into the ranks of soldiers preparing for battle.

My heart skipped a beat as recognition dawned on me. It was her. Y/N L/N—the girl I had loved and lost. The girl who had disappeared without a trace, leaving behind unanswered questions and a void in my heart.

Mina noticed my distraction and followed my gaze. "What is it, Hoshina?"

I hesitated, torn between the past and the present. "Nothing," I said finally, forcing myself to tear my eyes away from Y/N. "Just thinking about the new recruits."

Mina studied me for a moment, her expression thoughtful. "You seem… preoccupied. Is everything alright?"

I nodded, a tight smile forming on my lips. "Just a lot on my mind, that's all."

As we walked away from the training area, I couldn't shake the image of her from my thoughts. Seeing her again after all these years—it stirred up emotions I had long tried to bury.

All this time she was close and I didn't know, how could this happen, what was she doing here? What is going on, does this means she dissapeared because she wanted to? How could she...No, Soshino you don't know anything.

But as much as I tried to push her from my mind, a part of me couldn't help but wonder about Y/N—about where she had been all these years, and what had brought her back into my life now.

As we continued our rounds through the camp, discussing strategies and reviewing the progress of the new recruits, I couldn't help but steal glances back towards the training grounds. She remained focused on her training, unaware of the memories and emotions she had stirred within me.

I kept my thoughts to myself, the weight of the past heavy on my shoulders.

It was a twist of fate—a thread of destiny weaving its way through our lives once more. Y/N L/N, I found you.

[jaegeraether]

Sunsets and footballers (Part 17)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (17)

Masterlist (other parts here)

“I’ll tell you what she said when I see you in a few days, okay? I think it’s better done face to face.”

Jordan sighed. “You’re right, it’s just my emotions talking. And you’re sure you’re okay? You have a nasty black eye in that photo..”

“I think that’s the worst it’s going to get, fingers crossed. It’s still sore, and I’m going to have a scar but I’m okay, Dory.” Lucy nudged her and jerked her chin towards the phone. “Oh, and Lucy wants you to know that you’re my bodyguard while she’s in Spain.”

“I’m smaller than you, mate!” Jordan laughed. “I’ll just make you come to all the training sessions so we have a Villa army to protect you.”

“I don’t think management will be happy with the potential of your players getting bricked by three of Lucy’s wives, but I’ll take whatever I can get!”

Jordan laughed and Lucy groaned at that, not looking impressed. YFN reached out and stroked her cheek.

“Oh, and you two soft-launched again?!”

“Did we?”

“Hard launch incoming soon!” Lucy said loud enough for Jordan to hear.

YFN raised her eyebrows and Lucy wiggled hers cheekily.

They ended the call with promises to see each other soon and talk about Leah.

YFN turned to Lucy who was doing a crossword. It was night time now, the Arsenal girls had left, and they were alone for another night in the hospital. YFN had suggested that Lucy go home to a more comfy bed, but that idea was met with an absolute no. She’d brought more clothes for them, as well as things to keep them entertained. Like the crossword.

“It’s late…” YFN said.

Lucy nodded, finishing her word and then putting the it away. She put her arms behind her head and laid back against the inclined hospital bed, her eyes roaming over her girlfriend unashamedly.

“We need to talk about lawyer costs. I-”

“No.”

“Luce, please-”

“Nope.”

“This is my issue.. it’s unfair.”

Lucy shrugged. “Even if it was your issue, which it isn't.. your issues are my issues.”

“I have the money, you know.”

Lucy raised an eyebrow at YFN’s cheeky attempt to start an argument. She was amused by it. “So do I, so much that I don’t know what to do with it. And if I can’t spend it on the people I love then what’s the point?”

YFN’s heart skipped at beat at that word, love, and she shared a look with Lucy, but chose to not go down that rabbit hole. Not yet. “Makes me feel like a prostitute.”

The most genuine laugh bubbled up in Lucy that she’d ever heard. “Oh, I’d pay much more for your sex.”

YFN groaned and rolled her eyes. “I don’t like-”

“-things feeling one sided and like you’re not contributing?”

She pouted at the knowledge that Lucy had perfectly summed up her thoughts.

Lucy leant forwards and took her by the waist, pulling her onto her. Lucy’s hands went under her shirt, massaging her hips and waist. YFN’s hands found Lucy’s traps and gently traced there, and up the sides of her neck. All of it was so... natural.

“You give me so much already. There’s no keeping tabs here. You’d do the exact same for me.”

YFN knew there was no winning the conversation, also knowing she’d get her back at some stage. Money didn’t mean much to either of them, and even if it did, they were both happy to spend any amount on each other.

YFN’s hands had moved up to the sides of Lucy’s head, tracing the outlines of her ears before letting her hair down for the night, removing her glasses, and weaving her fingers in her hair, gently massaging. Lucy groaned, her eyes rolling back, lips parting as her head automatically tilted back into her fingers. Lucy enjoyed the feel for a while before she adjusted, one hand going to YFN’s lower back, pressing her forward while the other carefully pushed up the front of the shirt she was wearing – Lucy’s shirt – just high enough to expose her breasts to the cool air of the room. She brushed her lips over her nipple, then her tongue, and then it was in her mouth, gently sucked, her tongue getting involved. YFN whimpered, her hands gripping in Lucy’s hair, holding her there. It was one of her favourite things, and the feel of Lucy’s jaw shifting as she sucked was one of the sexiest things to her. Lucy took her time and began kneading her second breast in preparation. She eventually finished with the first, covering it with her shirt so it wasn’t cold and moving onto her other nipple, tongue circling around it teasingly before taking it in her mouth. YFN groaned, her insides getting needy and she had to restrain herself from grinding on her girlfriend.

“God, you’re such a tease.” YFN moaned, a little breathless.

Lucy chuckled with her nipple still in her mouth and sucked a little longer before she let go, pulling her shirt back down and making sure it covered her hips.

“You started it.”

She scoffed and unwillingly dismounted her athlete of a girlfriend, crawling under the covers and patiently waiting until Lucy had lowered the bed and was also under the covers, holding her.

YFN was glad to be leaving the hospital. She was even more glad to be leaving the city, though this had come with a little speed bump as she needed her stitches out in 5 days, and would no longer be in the city. Luckily, she was referred to a doctor in Birmingham who made an appointment for her. Lucy wasn’t entirely happy that she wouldn’t be there and again tried to tell YFN that she could delay her flight. That wasn’t an option for her.

They left the hospital and went straight to Lucy’s London home. Lucy wasn’t more than a metre away from her at all times, incredibly protective and aware of their surroundings. YFN loved this, and was okay with it because it made her feel safe, and Lucy more relaxed knowing she was safe. They packed and left the apartment early, trying to beat the traffic. They didn’t. Normally this would frustrate Lucy but YFN made sure she was well entertained with music, singing, terrible jokes, and being fed all of the snacks she could possibly want. And when all else failed, she even pulled Lucy's hand under her shirt and bra to grab her breast. This worked immediately, of course, the right-back threatening to find an empty parking bay along the way.

They drove straight through Birmingham and kept going on to Manchester. They arrived just after midday and drove straight to Lucy’s house to get settled in. YFN kept her clothes in her suitcase though, knowing they’d be leaving for Birmingham in a day or so. While Lucy unpacked and changed her clothes, YFN wandered the house, getting a feel for it. Her house in London had been similar, very simplistic, modern, neutral colours. It was a mix of concrete greys, white and black, offset by the silver of the kitchen appliances and the sun shining through the skylight. The only trophy to be seen was one from when she was young, with a picture of young Lucy, her mum, dad, brother and baby sister as she held the award proudly. She had a few photos around the house, all of family and a few of Narla. YFN thought she looked cute. Outside was small, a little courtyard of lawn and a small patio, just large enough to entertain her family. She remembered having a discussion with Lucy about where she’d live after she retired, and she’d wanted to stay in Manchester, close to her family, though wanted a house big enough to have a football pitch in the back yard. As she stared outside she felt two arms sliding around her as Lucy hugged her from behind, resting her chin on her shoulder.

“Do you like it?”

YFN leant her head against Lucy’s and nodded. “I love it. It feels… like being on the inside of your brain. All neat and tidy, but bright and open.”

Lucy chuckled. “Yeah, this place has been good to me. Wish I had a bigger back yard though.”

YFN smiled because she’d just been thinking that exact same thing. She leant her head back, exposing her neck and Lucy took advantage, her lips caressing and kissing that sensitive skin.

“If you keep doing that, we're going to be tempted to stay in tonight..”

Lucy took those words and teased her harder, nipping at her earlobe and kissing down to her collarbone, her hand creeping up to her breast.

YFN let herself enjoy it until her phone buzzed. She pulled it out and checked. It was an email from the company the girls had been talking about. With her permission, Katie had passed on her email to them at the hospital. Lucy looked over her shoulder and read with her.

“That’s positive… they want your resume and examples of the column you used to write?”

YFN nodded. “And it says the resume is only needed for the reference checks. They also say they’re excited to meet me because they’ve heard quote ‘wonderful and positive comments and recommendations from several players…’”

The girls must have talked her up to the company. She smiled at that, a little blush arising. Lucy noticed and kissed her cheek, YFN feeling that wide grin of hers. She pocketed her phone and turn in her arms, facing her girlfriend.

“I need something..”

“Please tell it’s sex, because I’m all in little one.” She leant down to kiss her and was stopped by YFN’s fingers on her lips.

“Actually, I need your WIFI password for my laptop?” She grinned. “I need to send this off before we leave for your parents.. but it’s nice to know you’re still sexually attracted to me with this hideous black eye and bandage.”

Lucy pulled her hand away from her lips and kissed that ‘hideous black eye’.

“You’re stunning.” She whispered huskily before giving that cheeky look of hers. “So… no sex?”

“I just can’t believe this!” Lucy’s mum, Diane, said, cradling YFN’s face to better look at her black eye. Lucy’s dad, Joaquim, was over Diane’s shoulder, adjusting his glasses and looking equally appalled.

“This… will scar?” He asked with a strong accent, gesturing to her bandage. He was Portugese, making Lucy half English-half Portugese.

YFN nodded.

“How big?”

Lucy was there then, pointing to where the line of stitches under the bandage were, roughly 3 inches long and dissecting the end of her eyebrow. They both winced.

“Do you remember it?” Diane asked.

“I remember most of it.. when the brick hit the window, I can’t remember anything from there on. I can’t remember the impact beyond pain. I can’t even remember Luce finding me. There’s patches in the car where I was in pain because she was holding my head on the way to the hospital, but only patches. I was a bit dazed.”

“She was a bit fuzzy the day after too, a little unsure on her feet. She’s much better now.” Lucy said, giving her a kiss on the shoulder. Lucy being so loving in front of her family made her heart swell.

They settled down to eat dinner, Lucy’s brother Jorge, his wife Charis and their kids arriving just on time. Lucy’s younger sister Sophie and her girlfriend also joined, it being YFN’s first time meeting them.

The Bronze family made her feel at home immediately, they were all so genuine and… odd almost. Like Lucy. But in the best way. At one point they were all sharing embarrassing stories from Lucy’s childhood, her mum bringing out photo albums, much to Lucy’s embarrassment. It was brilliant. YFN’s stomach was sore from laughing so hard. She also realised that they were all quite intelligent, especially Jorge. He and Lucy liked to challenge each other a lot. At one point YFN was helping Diane with the dishes, and was getting a little worried at how loud they were shouting at each other, the last 2 people standing in a card game. Lucy eventually won and made it known very loudly. Diane had laughed and told her it was quite normal when it came to anything competitive in the family.

They all joined in playing several card games, charades, and even answering quiz questions. Lucy refused to be teamed up with anyone other than YFN and dragged her around the room dancing and singing loudly whenever they won something, which was surprisingly often as YFN was so great at the quizzes that the family seemed impressed.

They played a lot with Lucy’s niece and nephew also, Alzira and Freddie.

“You love them a lot, don’t you?” YFN stated.

“They keep me grounded more than anything else in my life. They keep me so incredibly humble also.. when we’re in the stadiums, they’re not even impressed because they think it’s so normal. It really helped me during the World Cup in Australia.” She paused what she was doing, Alzira in between her legs playing with Lego. “I would have really liked to have known you when I was in Australia..”

YFN blushed under Lucy’s gaze, as she helped Freddie with his Lego piece. “I would have really liked to show you my country.”

“We still have a lot of time..”

“You’d want to see it?” YFN's eyes flicked excitedly to Lucy's green comforting ones.

“Of course! It’s your home. I want to see everything about your home that inspired you. Everything you were born and raised around. Anything you’d be excited to show me. And that includes your nan and brother.”

Just when she thought she couldn’t love her any more.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you about that actually.. I have a group call with my nan and brother tomorrow if you’d like to join? We try to do it every month. They already know about you, of course.”

Lucy grinned wide. “Yeah? I’d love that. Oh I can’t wait to ask for embarrassing stories they have about you, like the ones my family just roasted me with.”

Charis came over then. “Your mum wants some help with the TV? Something about an HDMI cord. I think she’s trying to play old videos of you…"

Lucy groaned and got up, Charis replacing her to sit behind Alzira. She smiled at YFN and they spoke a bit about the Bronze’s and life as a mum.

“Narla!” Freddie said suddenly, looking at Charis and opening and closing his fists.

“You miss Narla?”

The little kid nodded. “Narla!”

“You want to talk to her?”

“Yeah!”

Charis rolled her eyes at YFN who just grinned at the boy’s insistence. “He thinks Narla can answer the phone.” She whispered sneakily as she texted someone and then made a phone call, and suddenly Narla was on the end of the phone. Freddie grabbed the phone, grinning as he looked at the Westie on the other end. This was also the first time YFN had seen the dog as she watched from behind Freddie.

“Ohhh she’s so cute! I can’t wait to meet her!”

At the sound of her voice, the camera moved to a woman she recognised as Lucy’s ex, Keira Walsh.

“Oh!” Keira looked surprised. “Hi, YFN. I’ve heard a lot about you. It's nice to finally meet you!”

YFN wasn’t expecting that at all, and she stumbled over her words before she managed to find something to say. “Oh… Keira! Hey. You’re… you’re back in Spain?”

“Yeah, yeah. Luce is lucky she got to stay in England a bit longer. It's for the best with her knee though and I know the family all missed her too.”

YFN nodded politely, her heart beating a little too fast. She was more than aware that Keira was Lucy’s best friend, and the most important person in her life besides her mum. She’d wanted to make a good impression when she first met her, and looking at herself in the phone, her reflection looked tired, with a big white bandage and hideous black eye. Not exactly the impression she’d wanted to make. And even worse, her thoughts were running more rampant than that. Keira was with Narla. She was basically on speed dial with the Bronze’s. And also.. Keira was in Lucy’s apartment?

[centralperkchenford]

Tysm for writing the fic about Ava meeting Daisy! I loved it. Can you write a fic about Ava clinging on to Lucy instead of Tim? Again, love your work!! ❤️

Here you go! Hope you like it!

Tysm for writing the fic about Ava meeting Daisy! I loved it. Can you write a fic about Ava clinging on to Lucy instead of Tim? Again, love your work!! ❤️

Ava gets jealous of all the attention Daisy is getting

Enough love for two

Tim and Lucy bring Daisy home two days after she’s born and Ava is waiting eagerly to hold her sister. Lucy heart warms as her oldest daughter sits down and holds out her arms as she waits for Tim to place her in her arms. Daisy coos when she’s in Ava’s arms and Lucy snaps a picture of them and wonders how it can get better than this. Ava kisses Daisy’s forehead and then she starts to cry and Lucy knows she needs to feed her. She takes the baby from Ava and sits down opening her shirt and Daisy latches on. Ava slips off the couch and skips off to probably get some toys.

It’s going so good.

Lucy can’t believe how much Ava loves her sister so much and she hasn’t showed one sign of jealousy.

But it can’t last right? This had to be too good to be true. Lucy shakes those thoughts from her mind.

No. Ava is doing good. She loves her sister. She’s not jealous.

Lucy sighs happily as she smooths back Daisy’s dark hair and her baby nurses. She really loves her life.

***

Ava’s attitude changes a few nights later as Lucy is getting Daisy ready for bed Ava runs into their with Tim behind her. She’s halfway in her pajamas as she looks up at Lucy.

“Mommy dress me!” She squeals and holds out her arms. Lucy looks down at Daisy who is also half dressed.

“Baby, I’m getting sissy dressed. Daddy can help you.” She tells her. Ava shakes her head and stands there looking up at her, tears filling her big blue eyes.

“No want mommy!” She says defiantly. “No daddy!” Lucy looks over at Tim and he shrugs. Lucy bends down to Ava’s level and Tim heads over to the changing table so he can finish dressing Daisy.

Lucy helps her pull the shirt fully over her head, and straightens out her pants. “There you go Aves.” She says. Ava squeals and launches herself into her arms and Lucy grunts. Her delivery with went fine with Daisy but she still is a little sore.

“Careful Ava!” Says Tim. He helps Lucy up but Ava clings to her her arms wrapped around her neck.

“Let’s go to bed baby.” Lucy says to Ava and carries her out of the room. She places Ava in her big girl bed that they hadn’t gotten her a few weeks ago. It was a transitioning into a big sister present from Tim and Lucy. “Goodnight sweetheart.” She says laying her down but Ava clings on to her.

“Read mommy.” She says. Lucy smiles and grabs a book from her dresser and sits down and opens the book. But before she can even start reading Tim comes in with a fussy Daisy.

“Sorry Aves.” Says Lucy kissing her on the forehead. “I gotta go feed sissy.” She stands up and heads over to Tim who gives Daisy to her. She looks over at Ava whose lip is trembling and then she lets out a loud wail. Daisy starts to cry louder too. Tim blows out a breath as he heads over to Ava and Lucy quietly slips from the room.

Tim comes in fifteen minutes later, just as Lucy is putting Daisy down. He slides into bed, Lucy gives Daisy a soft kiss and then she crawls into bed next to Tim.

“Is Ava okay?” She asks. Tim blows out a breath and turns to Lucy.

“I think she’s realizing that she’s not the baby anymore. She can’t have you all to herself anymore.” He says. He leans over and gives her a kiss. “She will adjust. Don’t worry.”

Lucy nods and closes her eyes to go to sleep when their door opens and hits the wall loudly. Lucy sits up to see Ava standing in the doorway, she toddles over to Lucy’s side of the bed where the bassinet is.

“Hi baby.” Says Lucy. “Why are you not in bed?” Ava shrugs and lifts her arms up to Lucy.

Lucy sighs quietly but reaches down and picks Ava up. She sets Ava in the middle and Ava stands up up and peers over so she can see Daisy. “Me sleep here.” She says.

Tim tugs Ava down, and Lucy rubs her back. “No baby. You gotta go to bed in your big girl bed!” Tim says gently. Lucy can’t see Ava’s face but based on the look on Tim’s she knows Ava’s about to start crying.

“Sissy sleep here!” She says angrily and then turns to face Lucy and clings on to her. “I sleep here.”

“Sissy is a baby.” Explains Lucy. “She needs to sleep here with mommy and daddy. You slept here when you were that little.” Ava nuzzles her nose into Lucy’s neck and clings on to her.

Lucy looks over at Tim and he rubs Ava’s back. “She will be okay.” He says. Lucy nods and she hears Ava’s breathing even out.

It will be okay.

***

A few day later, Lucy is settling in to nurse Daisy when Ava comes running into the room on her stick horse. She runs in front of Lucy a few times and squeals every time.

“Mommy look!” She says and she rides back and forth in front of Lucy.

“That’s cool baby.” Says Lucy looking down to make sure Daisy is still nursing.

“You no look!” Says Ava stomping her foot. And then she lets out a high pitch scream which causes Daisy to start crying. Kojo starts barking outside and Tim comes running in the room. “Ava!” Says Lucy loudly over the crying and screaming. Ava continues to scream and Tim scoops her up and she kicks and screams reaching for Lucy as Tim takes her from the room. Daisy calms down once she latches on again and Lucy soothes her quietly, Ava is still screaming in the background.

Daisy finishes eating and then she falls asleep. Tim comes back in the room without Ava. “What was that about?” Tim asks. Lucy shrugs and hands Daisy to Tim.

“I’m going to go talk to her.” She says. Tim nods as he sits down holding a sleeping Daisy on his chest.

She heads to Ava’s room where she’s sitting on her bed with her arms crossed a grumpy look on her face. Lucy sits next to her and pulls her on her laugh.

“Ava what’s wrong?” She asks.

“You no love me.” Ava says sadly. Lucy’s heart breaks as she rubs Ava’s back.

“Oh honey of course I love you.” She says kissing the top of Ava’s head.

“Sissy more.” Ava says sliding off Lucy’s lap and turning away.

“What about sissy?” Lucy asks her. Ava doesn’t answer right away.

“You wuv sissy.” She finally says her voice shaking. “More.”

Lucy’s heart breaks as she realizes what Ava is saying. “No baby. I don’t love your sister more than you. I love you both the same. Daisy just needs a little extra attention sometimes.” She says and Ava turns to look at her. She has tears in her blue eyes and she looks exactly like Tim right now.

“You wuv me?” Ava hiccups. Lucy pulls her into her lap again and Ava cuddles into her. Lucy realizes even though Ava seems so much bigger now, she’s only two. She doesn’t understand both Tim and Lucy have enough love for both her and Daisy. She was so used to being the center of their world, and now her life got turned upside down. It was a lot for her two year old little mind.

“Yes baby.” Lucy says kissing her on the top of the head. “Daddy and I both love you so much. Our hearts expanded when your sister was born. We have enough love for both of you.”

Ava turns and hugs Lucy, she buries her face into her chest and Lucy hugs her back. No matter what Ava would always be her firstborn, the one who made her a mom. And that would always have a special place in Lucy’s heart. Having Daisy didn’t diminish her love for Ava, if anything it made it stronger. She loved both her girls so much she felt like her heart could burst.

There’s a knock on the door and they both look up to see Tim come into the room with Daisy in his arms. She smiles as he comes and sits next to Lucy. He kisses Lucy and then Ava and Daisy.

Lucy looks at all of them and realizes she has it all. Her girls. Her husband. She loves them so much

And there is definitely enough love to go around.

[simslegacy5083]

NSB (Straud Legacy) Gen 9 Ep 70: A Cursed Day

The Story of a Family

While Luigi was still coming to terms with sharing captaincy of the e-sports team, the universe gave him a bunch of new things to worry about!

He jolted awake early one morning drenched in sweat, with a lingering sense of terror fresh in his brain. Rising to grab a glass of water he noticed a strange book on the floor that hadn’t been there when he went to bed the night before.

Luigi was no mage, but he’d grown up around enough of them to know that this book was trouble. Picking it up he attempted to tear it in half, and when that didn’t work, he slammed it to the ground and stomped on it several times until it finally flew apart, disintegrating as if it had never existed.

Luigi was congratulating himself on a job well done when an awful headache struck out of nowhere. It came on faster than his usual anemia headaches, and he didn’t recall missing any iron supplements. With a sigh he popped a couple pain killers and settled down at his PC to do some work.

No sooner had he logged into his account than his laptop started to smoke, the ominous “blue screen of death” replacing his icons. It seemed nothing was going to be easy this morning! As he began repairs, he reflected that at least handiwork always reminded him of good times spent with Papa Jack.

Luigi was just finishing up when Noemi called to remind him that he’d promised to come to her gym that morning to play some basketball.

His head was still aching, but the meds were helping, and it wasn’t nearly as bad as before. Not wanting to disappoint his friend he told her he’d be right there, spinning into his athletic wear and heading out the door. Arriving in record time his stomach chose that moment to demand the breakfast that he’d skipped in his haste to arrive.

Noemi was happy to make a pit stop at the snack bar. Settling down to dig in, the soft fruit and yogurt parfait he’d grabbed somehow managed to cause a sharp stabbing pain in his mouth! Luigi groaned, answering his friends worried look with a quick recap of his fantastically terrible day so far.

She was sympathetic but encouraged him to power through it. A fitness loving sim like Luigi, Noemi found exercise to be a great natural pain reliever.

Heading upstairs to the basketball court they started with some quick free throws. Once warm and limber, Noemi upped the stakes by wagering 5 simoleons on a slam dunk contest.

Luigi went first, launching himself up in the air to attempt a one-handed dunk. He missed, the ball rebounding off the rim, his landing trajectory a chaotic tumbling mess. He tried to laugh it off and spring back to his feet like that guy at the bowling alley after prom… what was his name again?…

He only got as far as putting his full weight on his right leg when a red-hot spike of pain shot through his ankle. His jaw clenched involuntarily in surprise, which only caused a different stabbing pain to radiate outwards from the tooth that had started bothering him during their meal.

Luigi’s laugh turned into a curse as he used his arms to push himself to his feet and limped towards a nearby bench, Noemi following behind.

His ankle didn’t feel great, but it didn’t look terribly swollen. Rising he said “its not so bad. I’m sure I can finish the game if I’m careful”. That idea got Noemi’s pragmatic and immediate veto. “Sit your butt back down. Playing on an injury is an idiotic move that just takes you out of the game longer.”

Luigi sighed as he obeyed, joking that now she sounded like Professor Silva! Apologizing for ruining their fun he agreed she had a point. He was sure his injury wasn’t serious but regardless he should probably be done with basketball for the time being!

First a headache, then a toothache, and now his ankle… what was wrong with the universe today!?

Noemi pulled him close, telling him “don’t worry about it. Basketball isn’t the only way we can have fun here. In fact, since exercise is out as a means of pain relief, I might just have an alternative that’s sure to make you forget all your aches for awhile...” 

Luigi liked the sound of that, returning her smile before slowly following her over to one of the saunas lined up near the food stand. For the next little while he did indeed forget his troubles as they basked in the super-heated air and each other's touch.

Luigi had enjoyed their hot and steamy adventure but when they were finished, he was ready to head home and get off his feet.

He kissed Noemi goodbye, thanking her for “making this bad day a whole lot better”. She replied “it was my pleasure. I will, however, expect that 5 simoleons in the mail soon – screwing up your dunk so bad you had to forfeit the game counts as a loss if ever there was one!”

I was honestly impressed with how cursed this day was for Luigi. A lot of what I ended up using in the episode came from mods or other in-game events, but I was impressed with the “vanilla” things that went wrong in game considering the team only had For Rent and Basegame to work with.

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[unabashednightmarepizza]

Hi there! Saw you're looking for Encanto requests! May I request Luisa and reader, where Luisa is anxious that she would be no longer useful and worthy without her gift and the reader is just disproving it and just being there for her? Thank you so much!

《 Now, We Can Be Strong Together!》

A/N: GOD FINALLY!! A LUISA REQUEST!!! I hope I didn't get the wrong festival!! And damn, exams really make me stressed but at least half of them are done!! Hehe anyways, good readings!

Pairings: Luisa Madrigal (she/her) & GN Reader

Word Count: 1339 Words

Trigger Warning: None

The town has been colorful and lively as of late. It always was,but this time was different since it was just a few days before the Festival of Flowers and your friend Isabela's time. Even though she didn't have her gift anymore, her love for flowers didn't go away and she built a whole garden in which she grew every flower. And since it was a festival day, she gathered different kinds of flowers such as Hibiscus', Tulips, Dahlias and Marigolds, scattered all around the town and its houses, even making flower crowns for everyone and making the children laugh gleefuly.

While you were doing what? Making arepas with your now-mamá Julietta for everyone to eat happily. You didn't see it, but she was smiling widely at you working hard to make the perfect one and seeing her daughter look at you in awe, thinking she was being smooth. She patted your arm softly, making you look at her confused.

" Why don't you go to Luisa and spend time with her, mi hija?"

You looked at the work in front of you and then her, then to the town before you and many people. You made a worried look, and attempted to say that you were fine but she beat you to it.

"Don't say that there are a lot of people. Me and Mirabel can deal with it. Besides that's a festival so go and spend time with her!"

"Yes, we will be fine! Now, come on go!"

And with that, they shoved you away from the table and you chuckled while dusting yourself. And you waved your hand at them and started to look for your lover all while talking with the old ladies and ruffling little children's heads.

Finding Luisa wasn't hard since she was next to an old man, helping him with carrying his bags. You smiled softly at her and went up to her with a little skip and after turning her face back to the road you were walking, she matched your joy as well upon seeing you. She held both of her arms wide for you to launch yourself at her and you smirked with a hint of mischief and took a run into her arms. As soon as you were in her embrace, she closed her arms around your smaller frame and hugged you tightly while swinging and sweeping you off of your feet.

After squeezing you one last time, you took a step back to look up at your girlfriend with a lopsided, toothy smile.

"How is the most beautiful, amazing, brave, soft, patient, wonderful, spectacular-"

" (Y/N)... You started to list everything that makes me flustered again..."

"........ anyways, loveable, huggable, tall, mighty girl who has an amazing body and who is strong as hell doing today?"

And that's it, thought Luisa, feeling her cheeks flush. She swinged her arm over your shoulder and you two started to walk again while you were telling her what you had done before meeting with her with animated gestures. She was humming from time to time at you, telling you that she was indeed listening but the distant look on her face and her eye twitching sometimes meant that she was getting nervous over something, making her overthink again.

So you dropped her arm off from your shoulders, making her finally look at you even if it was in a worried manner, then stopped in your track while holding a hand up to her to stop. Since you were ultimately shorter than her, to get ahead of her, you had to take short and fast steps which made you breathless. Before talking again, you bent down and put your hand on your knees while huffing out and lifted a finger at her, pointing to her face.

"Damn... being short is hard... but wow I just fell in love with you... again... just... one second..."

Luisa looked at your much smaller finger pointing at her and you guessed that's what made her come back to her senses since she started to fan you with her hands fast and continuously.

"Okay, okay. I'm fine now... So what got you so blue all of a sudden, hmm?"

"It's nothing serious, really! I'm fine, totaly not nervous, like what is there to make me feel like-"

"And look at who tells me I rabble about..."

And seeing the unimpressed look on your face, your hands being on your hips with a meaning of you weren't going to let that one slide off easily made her sigh and a insecure yet soft smile appeared on her face.

"Luisa, I know that this is about you not having a gift anymore but just know this: It doesn't define you. Just because you aren't that strong anymore doesn't mean you are useless or something!"

"But how are you so-"

You put your finger on her mouth to shush her and dragged to your usual date spot. After both of you settled down, you put your head on her shoulder while playing with her hand.

"Luisa, have you ever thought... maybe that's Casita's last gift to every one of you?"

At the look of confusion on her face you hesitantly continued to talk.

"I mean, not to be mean or anything but your abuela was quite the perfectionist and as Mirabel said, she was breaking the house and every one of you. Just think about it! Isabela doesn't have to be perfect anymore, Camilo doesn't have to make people pleased even if he wasn't feeling like it and you don't have the pressure to be the one who bears all of the weight anymore... Every single one of you is free."

Since no sound could be heard from her, you started to think that in a way, you had offended her and immediately prepared an apology in your mind. What were you thinking, you idiot!! You aren't the one who had a gift for all of their life and then one day just go... bam! Vanished! How can you possibly know-

Your little scolding to yourself was cut short as soon as you felt a hand patting your head. You slowly moved your head to meet with her eyes without knowing that your eyes were closed shut, making Luisa chuckle in amusement.

"You are right, mi vida... It may trully be a gift, after all. Just... not being able to do most of the things I used to able to do is kinda... odd."

" Ohh~~ What? Just because you couldn't lift a kid, you suddenly got sad?"

You wiggled your your eyebrows playfully at her to get her mind out of the topic at the hand and in return, she pushed you to your side playfully as well while laughing, knowing that you were trying to take her mind out of herself.

"It was ten kids, (Y/N)!! It's a big deal!"

"Ten?... I can't even lift my own cousin and you are talking about lifting ten? I'm just reminded of our power differences now!"

You pulled yourself together and sit on her lap while throwing a little tantrum about how that was exactly the reason why your whole family loved her more than you, that she was cheating to get the love of your cousins.

Meanwhile Luisa was staring at your face softly. Your soft skin was glowing under the sun and your stray hairs were dancing alongside the slight wind and your eyes were shining with utter happiness and a little hint of mischief. The more she looked at you, the more she felt her heart beating harshly and the next words came out so naturally.

"Thank you for being here always, (Y/N)...mi regalo."

You look at her with widened eyes, not expecting for her to say such a classic but romantic thing. You smiled and rubbed the promise ring on your finger.

"Silly girl, can't you see the truth in front of you? You don't have to be strong alone, anymore. You and I, we can be strong together..."

[elektrantchios]

ice cream and regret | j.h

summary: things are going great with Hopper, you basically live with him, you get on great with his kid and you love him, like actual really love and you're ready to tell him. You only hope he feels the same.

pairing: Jim Hopper x Reader (gn)

warnings: bad written handjob (at the beginning so you can skip right over it), kind a lot of angst, age difference( reader about 20 ish), fluff, swearing and hinted smut at the end

word count: 1.1k

a/n: as well i've changed a few people's ages to fit better in the story. can i say how happy i was to get his request 😍 Hopper is my favourite from strange things so i hope i did him well in this. and thank you being so kind 😭 love you too

edited but might have missed something

MAIN MASTERLIST | REQUEST OPEN

The soft morning light was shining through the shitty curtains in Hopper’s bedroom, calling it a bedroom was a stretch it was a corner of the cabin section off by another curtain. The not bedroom bedroom wasn’t what you care about.

You cared about the chief of police in bed next to you, Jim Hopper. You still got a rush when you thought about him, even his name sent you crazy.

A grumble sounded by your side, Hopper turned over facing you, hiding his face from the sun. “Damn curtains” he groaned.

You laughed. “I’ve been telling you for weeks to buy new ones” you smile.

He mumbled something you couldn’t make out.

“You got something to say” you poked him in his side.

He grumbled again. Then jumped on you. You cried out in surprise, as he rubbed his face into your neck. Kissing your neck and collar bone. You squirmed under him laughing as his beard tickled you. He finally took his attention away from your neck and launched onto your lips.

You opened his mouth against his advancing the kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck grinding against him. Your hand wandered down to the waistband of his underwear, he kissed you more hungrily biting your bottom lip making your hiss. You wrapped your hand around his hardening cock. At first contact he gasped against your lips.

Slowly you moved your hand up and down building speed. Taking your time teasing him, smiling the whole time. “Why you gotta do this to be darlin’” he rasped, growing breathless. It gave you a power rush to get this big strong man weak.

You kissed his softly still keeping the same pace, “I like seeing you worked up honey”.

He made a deep sound in the back of his throat when you picked up the speed. In your hand you felt his cock twitches. The faster you went the deep the sound went. His face was pressed against your neck mumbling dirty words building himself up.

After he came you pulled your hand from his boxers and licked your fingers clean. You barely had time to pull your hand away before he kissed you hard and messy.

“You can’t just look me in the eye and do that” he sighed face pressed against yours.

You played with his chest hair, “thought you liked it” you asked faking confusion.

He growled, attacking your neck and chest moving a hand down your body. You threw your head back biting your bottom lip. Outside the curtain your heard El’s door open and shut.

“ahhh” you stopped him. “The kid’s up”.

He kissed you one last time, “to be continued”.

-x-

When El’s was feed and happy in front of the tv, you started the washing up. Hopper wrapped his arms around your middle, pressing himself against you. “You need a shower” you laughed nudging him away. He kissed your neck.

“Join me?” he asked pulling at your top.

“Gross” El remarked from the sofa.

You chuckled nodding, “I again gross”.

Hopper spun your around laughing with you. You wrapped your arms around his neck. Looking at him you felt happier than you had before. “You’re an idiot…but I love you”.

The room went silent, Hopper was just staring at you open mouthed. You struggled to say anything staring back. “I need to go…I said I’d cover Steve’s shift” you pulled away hurrying to grab your bag then leaving.

-x-

You hadn’t lifted your head for 5 minutes, softly mumbling to yourself.

Robin totally unprepared for this patted your head, trying to comfort you.

“I’m such an idiot” you cried.

“I wouldn’t say that” Robin said patting your head some more.

You sat up with a start, “I am! I looked him in the eyes and told him I loved him!”. You ate a mouth full of ice cream, “I mean what did I expect would happen? He has a kid and he’s so much older than me! why did I think he would want something serious”.

She looked unsure what to say.

“I love him Robin like I could go crazy with loving him” you whispered close to tears.

She pulled out a spoon to eat some ice cream, “Been there and it sucks”.

“Yep” you smiled sadly, “it does”.

-x-

Having to sleep in your own bed was terrible, it was uncomfortable and most of all lonely. You had gotten so use to waking or falling asleep next to Jim now it was impossible to sleep alone. It was over, it was over you lay there repeating and repeating it, hoping it would set in.

The phone had been ringing no stop all day, caller ID told you in was Hopper. Instead of answering you sat there watching it ring going through all the things you or he could say.

You sat up with a start hearing someone knock on your door, heart racing you waited for it to stopped. Just your luck someone was trying to break in and kill you when you weren’t talking to the chief of police.

After a few minutes the knocking stops relaxing you lay down back in bed, then the knocking started at your window.

Pulling a basketball bat from under your bed and went outside being as quiet as you could.

“I’ve called the police” you lied, “So you better not try anything funny”.

Hopper stepped out the shadows holding his hands up. “I know you’re better liar than that”.

You put down the bat, “Jesus Hopper” you huffed. “You trying to give me a heart attack”.

“I wanted to talk to you” He stepped forward reaching out.

You spun around, “There’s nothing to talk about”.

“Come on Darlin’” he stopped you putting his hand on your shoulder.

You breathed, “I told I loved you and you said nothing. What else is there to say”.

“Darlin’” he started.

“No” you held up your hand, “You don’t get to call me that when you stood there and said nothing. It’s over, I won’t stay with someone who doesn’t love me back”.

“Would you let me talk” he spoke louder than you.

Setting your jaw you nodded.

“I didn’t say anything this morning cause I was scared, okay!” he moved his hand from your shoulder to your cheek. “After losing my wife and kid, I thought that was it for me, I wouldn’t get a second chance”.

You looked at him not knowing what to say this time.

“Then you came along with your charm and cockiness. And you stole my heart”.

You opened your mouth but he cut you off.

“You know how many morning I’ve laid next to you trying to find the words for how I feel?” he yelled slightly.

“So you’re saying…”.

“I’m saying I love you”.

You kissed him messy and fast, taking him by surprise. “Are going to come in?” you asked in between kisses.

He pick you up with a huff, “did say to be continued, didn’t I?”.

[bakubub]

In which racer!kuroo is your roommate, and seems to only like it when you treat his wounds... (word count: 1.9k)

Ngl quite proud of this one!!

Warnings: 18+, a whole lot of swearing, a whole lot of blood, innuendos and implied nsfw, reader almost vomits (NOT from pregnancy chill, I know we're all scarred but its going to be just fine) and if you're squeamish perhaps skip the scene where reader stitches his wound?

Also bit of a disclaimer: I am in NO WAY a med student and literally all of my knowledge is from movies and other fics... so if you acc know what to do in this situation this may be a torturous for you :D

All due credits go to @aikk00​ for this AMAZING fanart!!!!

I watch as my roommate enters the penthouse, once again scratched up and bleeding, covered in so much blood there is no possible way that it was all his- if it was he would not be standing.

I launch myself off the couch- where I was sitting for the past hour nervously waiting for his return- and slip my arm under his, supporting him as we inched towards the bathroom.

"I can do this by myself you know," he grumbles, his grimace revealing just how much pain he was actually in.

"Mhm, I'm sure you can. Just like you boiled that poor egg by yourself last week, hmm?" I say sarcastically, trying to keep my mind calm and clear, because oh my god it looks really bad this time...

"Oi, its not my fault it fuckin' exploded," he mutters, voice laden with pain.

"You put it in the microwave because 'the shitty water wasn't doing its job.' Of course it would explode," I say, gently seating him on the closed toilet seat and taking out my supplies that I unfortunately have become rather accustomed to using. He's made it a habit to get himself injured.

"Where's the injury?" I ask, setting down my half-empty bottle of antiseptic and box of bandages. He peels off his shirt, cringing at the pain it brought him as the fabric was stuck to the gash that went from his left pectoral down to the middle of his chest.

"Pissed off a bidder after winning a race, fucker took out a knife once he realised he couldn't beat me up," he huffs out, arrogance still lacing his tone even with sweat dripping down his brow as he leans the back of his head onto the tile wall behind him. His Adam's apple bobs down his bloodstained neck as he speaks, and I quickly look away, focusing on the injury at hand.

Not his blood soaked, but nevertheless well defined pectoral muscles, nor the abs that my hands occasionally brush up against and know how hard they really are, and definitely not the trail of black hairs that lead down, down, down...

"What's wrong, the view too hot to focus on the work at hand?" He asks suggestively, raising his pierced brow, even in this state.

I'm quick to reply, having gotten used to his flirtatious remarks from the second I moved into his penthouse, "nope can't even see the view from that massive head of yours. Not to mention your permanent bed head."

He huffs out a laugh, then proceeds to flinch from the pain it must have caused.

"Stop moving, idiot. You're going to exacerbate the cut!" I say, quickly grabbing a damp towel and beginning to clean up his abdomen, whilst simultaneously pressing another rag to his wound to stop the bleeding.

“At least you admit that there is a hot view,” he says in his low voice, gazing at me from his position.

I simply roll my eyes.

No falling in love. That was the deal we had made on the day he offered me a place to stay in exchange for my services as a maid and apparently, a nurse. I cook, clean and basically keep the house running while this moron goes out and acts like the idiot he is. In my defense, dorms are expensive as hell, and his penthouse is nearby. Plus, I don't have to pay rent. It's a win-win situation.

But the feelings stirring up inside my heart might just ruin the dynamic we have going on and simultaneously take out a whole lot of cash out of my pocket.

At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

Once his skin isn't completely saturated in blood, and the wound has (thankfully) stopped bleeding, I add some antiseptic onto a make-up pad and begin to dab at his wound, earning winces and slight grunts from the massive man.

"The cut looks deep, Kuroo. You need to go to the hospital," I say, worry lacing my tone as my eyebrows crease and earn yet another huffing laugh.

"Do you want me to rot in prison for the rest of my life?"

I roll my eyes at his response, deliberately dabbing just a little harder which earns me a yelp and an attempted glare in my direction.

"First off, illegal street racing won't send you to prison for your entire life, just for like, half a year. Second, this wound needs stitches, and believe it or not, I'm not a fucking licensed medic. In fact, the only experience I have is with you!" I say, immediately regretting my choice of words as I wait for his remark.

"That's what she said," He says, chuckling at his own innuendo.

I sigh in frustration, pouring more antiseptic to make sure there was no chance of infection from whatever grimy ass knife stabbed him, and beginning to gently scrub the wound with a soft towel, so as to make sure there was no debris left in there.

"You're gonna have ta do it," he mutters, his hazel eyes boring into mine.

"I- I can't Kuroo, you can't possibly think-"

"Fine. I'll do it. Go get me a needle and thread," he states, struggling but nevertheless, sitting upright on the red stained toilet.

I stare at Kuroo in disbelief as he utters these words. Was he dumber than I thought? Does he have some sort of head injury too?

I examine his face and all I come up with is unnerving determination. I exhale out of my nose sharply, "fine, dammit. I'll sew your fucking wound shut."

I am extremely handy with a sewing needle and thread, used to really be into embroidery back when I had the time so...it should be fine.

He just shrugs, leaning his head back against the tiles and closing his eyes.

"Fucking asshole. Can't believe I'm saving your damn life," I mutter, leaving the bathroom to dig through my wardrobe for my sewing box and taking out a gold silk thread that I was saving for a special project.

Well, I guess that will never happen.

"Hey, I found some silk thread. It's literally known for its strength and durability in high temperatures, so it should work like a charm!" I say, walking back into the blood stained bathroom and trying to psych myself up.

He grunts in response. I sigh as I begin with mopping up the excess blood and sanitising the needle and thread before chucking on gloves.

I wipe the antiseptic over the wound once more, and examine it carefully.

Well, if his condition worsens, I can always knock him out and call an ambulance...

I decide, screw it, and thread the needle, pretending it was just another embroidery project.

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, I chant as I puncture his skin with the thin needle.

Kuroo gasps in pain, and I place a hand on his knee, telling him to suck it up and deal with it, half talking to him but also to myself.

To my surprise, he listens, stretching his head back once more and gritting his teeth.

"Don't do that, here put this in-between your teeth," I say, grabbing yet another towel and shoving it into his mouth.

He obeys as I continue to stitch. I feel my gag reflex kicking in as I think about how stitching skin feels as though I am stitching leather, it feels hard and tough while pushing the thin needle through.

Must hurt like a bitch.

Once I've completed my neat stitches down the wound, without vomiting, I tie it off as I would with any embroidery, and clean the area free of any remaining blood. After rubbing some antibacterial ointment over the gold stitches, I stick on a particularly large bandage over the wound and start tidying up.

"Thank you," Kuroo mutters, still seated on the toilet seat and practically panting for breath.

"Ah, the criminal knows his damn manners!! Now get up and get in the damn shower. You ruined my pristine bathroom!" I complain, putting the last of the materials away before walking to the door.

"Wait, I- I can't get up." I turn around and look at him incredulously as he utters his next few words, "will you... shower me?"

My eyes just about pop out of their sockets at his request. "Are you insane?! I'm not your mother, nor your wife! Call your pudding haired friend and tell him to come shower you!"

He shakes his head, a rare pleading look taking the place of his usual arrogant smirk, "Kenma's too lazy to shower himself, Y/n, please!"

I contemplated it for a moment. Sure, I've seen him naked before, accidentally of course, and so what if I have to scrub him clean. God knows he can't do it himself with that damn injury.

Fuck this shit.

"Fine, get up right now." I bark at him, leaving to change out of my blood soaked pjs into a pair of shorts and a tank.

"...I just said I can't."

---

"Ow, y/n, you're scrubbing too hard!" He complains, his exfoliating glove around my hand as I rub his toned back clean of any dead skin-cells and blood remains.

"But look how much stuff is coming off!" I say gleefully, enjoying this a little too much.

Kuroo, seated on the built-in bench in the open shower with his red boxers on, looks back to see the satisfaction dripping from my features.

"Are you secretly a sadist?" he whispers. In response, I begin to rinse off his raw back with hot water, causing him to screech like a cat.

"It burns, it burns-”

“Shut the fuck up, moron! It's 4 in the morning, you’re going to annoy our neighbours. I tried very hard to get in their good graces, and Mrs. Suzuki still doesn’t like me! She definitely thinks I’m some kind of hooker…” Kuroo laughs at this, and I can’t help but watch as his whole face brightens up from his usual emotionless expression. I find myself smiling in response.

I grab his expensive shampoo and pour some into my hands, beginning to massage it into his scalp. With wet hair, his raven strands are for once flat on his head and reach down to his defined jawline. Kuroo groans under my touch, leaning into my fingers. I snatch my hands back and pour hot water over his head.

"ARGH! Y/N!" He screams, hastily getting up and wetting me in the process.

"Ah- what are you-" I don't get to finish my question as he grabs my arm and yanks me next to him under the hot water, soaking my clothes and my hair.

"You asshole!" I screech as I reach up to pull his hair in defiance, but he only grabs my arm and hooks it around his neck, leaning down to look directly into my eyes.

Our noses brushing against one another, he mutters, "You look pretty with your hair wet and your shirt see through."

It takes me a moment to get past the compliment and to hear the perverted comment that he just uttered.

He sees my look of confusion and laughs, bends over, clutches his stomach and laughs, before bellowing in pain because of his injury.

Smiling smugly down at him as he grimaces, I force him to sit back down and continue massaging the shampoo into his hair, warning him that if he so much as moaned I would leave him in here, dripping wet and in pain.

"That's what he said," is his reply.

I smack his head in response.

Notes, interactions and reblogs are highly appreciated <3

[mellowswriting]

2, 3, & 48 with the least expected choice: JAVI BB! 😭 Please I just starve for domestic!Javi a lot

Second Chance 

pairing || Javier Peña x F!Reader

summary ||  Javier comes back to the U.S after taking down Escobar to find you - and what he finds changes his life forever.

word count || 4,824

warnings || angst with a happy ending, soft dad Javi, allusions to sex

a/n || This was so interesting to write, because Javier as a dad??? Yes please! Also because I’m so used to writing mainly fluff that angst can get a little tricky for me. Thank you for this little writing challenge, anon!

Main Masterlist  |  Join the taglist!

Two years. It had been nearly two years since Javier had seen you - correction, since he had watched you walk out with tears in your eyes and did nothing to stop you like a fool. It was one of his biggest regrets, and that was saying something coming from a man whose job required him to make hard and fast decisions that often left people dead. All he could do was hope and fucking pray that you wouldn’t slam the door in his face.

Even if he did deserve it.

A drive that typically would’ve taken only an hour from the airport took nearly double that, Javier’s hands shaking and stomach turning the entire time. He should’ve done this sooner, should’ve followed you out that door or hopped onto a plane and met you back in the States. Nothing felt right without you, the world around him slightly distorted by your absence. An absence that was entirely his fault.

He shouldn’t have snapped at you. All you had wanted from him was the promise that he would try to play it safer. It was a simple reassurance that he could have given you if he hadn’t been such a moron and snapped at you that if you couldn’t handle the realities of his job, you had no business sticking around. You were scared, worried for him after one of his harebrained plans nearly got his head blown off.

And all Javier had done was make you feel stupid for caring about him. It didn’t help that he did nothing to try to fix it the next day; he was embarrassed, ashamed of his immaturity. And you left because of it. He hated himself for it. He would only hate himself more if he didn’t go to you now that he had taken down Escobar. Better late than never, right? He was back in the states and could’ve gone anywhere, done anything, especially now that he was so well known for his hard work in Colombia. Instead, he used that new status to find out where you ended up and scribbled your address onto a crumpled piece of paper.

It was a nice house. The kind he always hoped you would get, picturesque with the neatly trimmed front yard and picket fence. The sun had just risen enough to tint the sky by the time he pulled up and killed the engine, his millionth cigarette of the day perched between his fingers. You were home. Tiny movements that he could see from the windows and the car parked in your driveway told him that much.

The love of his life was right there. Less than twenty yards away, practically nothing separating the two of you after so long. That realization had Javier finally shoving the car door open and stepping out - and damn near getting himself run over in the process. In his haste, his excitement, he didn’t even glance around himself enough to see the car approaching and… pulling into your driveway?

A spike of fear shot through him. Please, fuck, don’t let that be a man. Don’t let that be some man who is going to walk through the door and kiss your cheek as you welcome him home from work and…

No. A woman, brunette. Launching herself out of the car and practically skipping up to the door. She didn’t bother knocking, just walked right in and closed the door behind her. Something familiar about her tickled the back of Javier’s brain, the hazy memory of a polaroid of her next to you wearing matching goofy grins. Ah, your sister. Amelia, if he remembered correctly.

Javier hesitated at her appearance. He didn’t want to interrupt something. God knows you were already going to be pissed enough at him. So he leaned against his door and puffed on that cigarette like it was his only lifeline, ready to wait for however long it took.

Just his luck that he wouldn’t have to wait long. The door reopened not fifteen minutes later and the two of you both appeared on the porch and holy fuck, Javier’s heart was ready to fly out of his chest just at the sight of your smile as you chatted with your sister. He watched, enraptured, that damn cigarette damn near falling from his lips, his heart leaping at the way your head tilted back with a big laugh. God, he missed that sound.

You turned and poked your head back into the doorway and called something that he couldn’t hear, pausing before rolling your eyes and walking back inside. You appeared again a second later with -

A kid? Propped on your hip with your arm propped under them with ease.

Javier’s heart dropped. Of course. He should’ve known that someone would have scooped you up the second you returned home. If he hadn’t have been such a fucking idiot, that could have been him building a home with you and fuck, he had to leave. He needed to get in his car and fucking go before you -

“Javier?”

It had been so long since he heard you say his name. Even when it was layered with surprise, his name never sounded better than when it was falling from your lips. Javier froze with his hand on the handle. He could hear your sister’s ill attempt at whispering, the harshness of “Wait, the Javier? The one that -” that you cut off before she could finish.

Javier turned, his heart flying in his chest, and started walking up to the gate. The shake in his hands was undeniable when he lifted the latch. Your mouth hung open, chest rising and falling rapidly with your almost frantic breathing, the little girl perched on your hip seeming confused. She was yours, that much was obvious. Her nose, her lips - that little girl was your daughter.

Something in you snapped back into place, your mouth closed and a fake smile quickly replaced it as you turned your softening gaze to your little girl. “Okay, you have fun with Aunt Amelia, okay? Mommy loves you.”

Javier watched the exchange with a heavy heart, watched as your daughter gave you the tiniest kiss on your cheek with a small ‘pop’ of her lips, watched as your sister took her and gave him a wide berth as she went to strap her into the carseat in her car. The moment she was out of your sight, the warmth from your eyes fell away and regarded him with something colder, something angry and sad.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You asked.

“It’s done.” He mumbled, his fists clenching at his sides. “All of the bullshit with Escobar, it’s over.”

“Yeah, I know.” You scoffed at the surprised look he gave you. “What, you think I didn’t keep track of you after I left? Just because I wasn’t around doesn’t mean I stopped caring about whether you lived or died. That doesn’t answer my question.”

“I never should have let you leave. I… I shouldn’t have driven you away to begin with.” Shame flooded him for the millionth time at the flash of hurt in your eyes before you looked away from him, your eyes falling to the ground. “The kid… uh, congratulations I mean. I didn’t know you started a family, I never would’ve shown up like this. I’m not a homewrecker.”

“The kid?” You repeated, your voice incredulous, and Javier cringed. Yeah, not the most eloquent way to put it, but he was never good with words.

“Yeah, uh, she’s a cute kid. You and your… husband or whatever, you got lucky.” Every word that fell from his lips, he regretted. They were true, sure, but holy hell did it sound so awkward coming from him.

“The kid.” You scoffed again, a sound he hadn’t realized he missed so much. You finally locked eyes with him, somehow even more guarded than before. “She’s yours.”

Javier blinked. The words didn’t compute, his brain falling blank at the very thought that he… no, no fucking way. He took a half step back, his mouth falling open. He watched you watch him, watched the way your eyes studied his every movement. Air rushed in and out of his chest rapidly, black spots blinked at the edges of his vision, and suddenly his ass was hitting the hard stone of your porch.

He barely heard the rough, concerned way you said “Shit, Javi!”, barely noticed you disappear from his side. No, he couldn’t believe it, couldn’t accept that. There was no way in hell that his stupid fucking mistake deprived him of this, of his family. Of watching you bring his child into the world and watching her grow, teaching her how to walk on unsteady feet and picking her up when she cried. Of you teaching him how to gently pull her pretty brown hair into the little sprigs of pigtails, just like she wore when he caught a glance of her before she was whisked away.

The cold, wet feeling of a cloth dragging across his forehead made his eyes refocus and there you were. Your eyes, once cold and hesitant now tinged with concern as you gently drug a washcloth down each of his cheeks, trying to pull him out of his panicked state. You were murmuring something to him, something he couldn’t hear over the blood rushing in his ears. Javier’s hand grasped at yours, pressing it against his cheek tightly.

“Name.” He rasped. “What’s her name?”

You paused, a small smile perking up the corners of your lips. “Elianna. We call her Ellie.”

Ellie.

Javier had a daughter.

“I have a daughter?” Javier needed to hear you say it again.

“You have a daughter.” You nodded and pulled your hand away from his cheek, much to Javier’s disappointment. He missed your touch. You patted him hard on the shoulder before hauling him up. “Come on, we have a lot to talk about. Might as well do it on the couch where it’s comfortable.”

The inside of your home was just as picturesque as the outside, but in a completely different way. Colorful toys were strewn about the living room, a few soft baby blankets crumpled on the couch. It was comfortable, lived-in. Happy. Javier sat heavily on the couch, mind almost on autopilot as he gently touched the blanket next to him, his fingers barely grazing the fabric like he was worried his touch would somehow taint it.

You handed him a cold bottle of water that he accepted graciously and sipped as you sat next to him, a foot-wide war zone of space between you that felt like a stab to his heart. If only he hadn’t fucked everything up. You would be curled up right against him, your head on his chest as the two of you watched the little girl you created together babble over her toys.

“Tell me about her?” Javier asked tentatively, his voice uncharacteristically small.

“What do you want to know?” The hesitance in your voice made him feel even worse.

“Anything. Everything.”

And you did. Javier watched and listened, enraptured as you gushed about little Ellie. At nearly fifteen months old, she was damn near running and constantly getting into everything. She was curious and bright and laughed like she couldn’t breathe when you would roll around on the floor and play with her. Just the sight of the happiness and light in your eyes when you retold the first time you heard her say ‘mama’ made pride swell in his chest.

The intense urge to have her here with him pulled at him, but he knew better than to ask. You were already indulging him by bringing him into your home and answering his questions. Hell, he was lucky you told him to begin with. He could feel the intensity of your gaze on his face as he tried to absorb all of the information that was dumped on him. Silence filled the living room when you trailed off, a few heavy moments where he didn’t know what to say.

“I know you have questions, Javier.” You said, your words slow and deliberate. Clipped, like you were terrified he was going to disappear once again.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Javier whispered.

“Well, I didn’t know I was pregnant when I left.” You began with a sigh. “I thought that the nausea and the missed period were from stress, because god knows I was wrecked. I found out a few weeks after I got back to the U.S and… I just didn’t see the point to tell you.”

“Didn’t see the point? Of telling me you were having my child?” His voice rose with his anger, his frustration and he watched as those walls slammed down, your vulnerability hardening in less than a second. He took a deep breath before continuing, trying his damnedest to soften his voice. “Do you really think so little of me?”

“Are you kidding me, Javier? You had just told me to leave. Was I supposed to think it would change anything?” You deflated into the cushions slightly and the sight of the exhaustion and pain in your eyes made some of his anger fall away. You rubbed a hand down your face. “Was I supposed to hop back on a plane back to Colombia? Put myself and my baby in danger? Or maybe I should have just called you. ‘Hey, Javier, I know you just told me to get out of your life, but surprise! I’m carrying your child!’ How would that have gone over?”

“But after? How could you not…” Javier choked up, unable to finish his sentence. You were right, he knew that. But he was grieving the loss of everything he had missed out on. He couldn’t blame you, not really. It was an impossible situation.

“I wanted to. There were these moments that… it took everything in me not to call you and beg you to come to me like some pathetic little…” You trailed off with a shake of your head, your voice cracking. “But I couldn’t. The closer you got to catching Escobar, I just… I couldn’t pull you away from the fight when you were so close to winning. The past few weeks, though? God, I almost called you at least a dozen times. The second I heard about it, I wanted you here, but I was so… so scared, Javi.”

And there it was. Javier’s heart snapped in half. He broke your heart and you managed to still prioritize his career, his fight against Escobar, while you brought his child into the world and shouldered that responsibility on your own. He cleared his throat harshly and squeezed his eyes shut, desperately trying to hold back those traitorous tears that threatened to fall.

“You don’t have to be scared. If you’ll have me, I swear to god, you will never do this alone again.” Javier whispered, his eyes still closed. Debilitating fear kept him from looking at you, afraid to see the rejection on your face. “I want to be here, I want this. I want my family.”

“Do you mean that?” Your voice trembled with disbelief.

“Of course I do, hermosa.” He insisted. “Please, give me the chance to show you.”

The small, relieved sigh that came from you made something tight ease in his chest and Javier hesitantly brought you into his arms. You relaxed into his side with your head propped on his shoulder, the both of you taking refuge in the familiarity of the touch that was missed for so long. He felt you look up at him and met your eyes, hoping you could see his sincerity. Words had a tendency to fail him but he still had his actions. He absentmindedly licked his lips before asking, “Can I kiss you?”

You smiled at him, a small smile that was still a bit sad, but a smile nonetheless, and nodded. “I've missed your kisses. I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” He confessed and finally kissed you. After two years, Javier felt the softness of your lips against his and finally felt like he was home.

----------

Javier’s knee bounced rapidly as he sat on your couch hours later, his nerves bounding untethered and desperate for any outlet. Just on the outside on the porch, you had stepped out to greet Amelia, who had brought Ellie home.

His daughter was on the other side of the door and he was about to meet her, for real this time. Excitement and fear warred with each other, neither able to win out over the other in their rising volume. Excitement at getting to hold her, maybe even make her smile. Fear over the possibility of hurting her or being too rough - he didn’t have much experience with babies, after all.

The door pushed open and he heard you call his name softly. “Can you grab these bags for me?”

He was on his feet in an instant, glad to be of help and already jumping at the chance to start proving himself to be a good father. A mess of brown curls poked out from the baby blanket you had draped over your chest where Ellie was apparently still fast asleep, distracting him slightly as he grabbed the bags from Amelia. She… did not look too happy to see him. The hardness in her glare told him something that didn’t need to be vocalized: if he hurt you or Elllie, his body would never be found.

Javier nodded slightly at her. He couldn’t blame your sister. If he were in her position, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he would be breaking noses. At your request, he set the bags on the kitchen table before walking back to you - and the sight of you swaying in the middle of the living room with Ellie knocked out against you, your cheek propped against the top of her head, took his breath away. The smile you gave him brought him closer, his hand settling on Ellie’s back softly as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Do you want to hold her?”

It took a moment of maneuvering, but the second you settled Ellie against him chest-to-chest, his entire world came into focus. Her cheek pressed against his chest just so, making her mouth form the tiniest little ‘o’ that he had ever seen. She was so calm, sleeping so deeply, and Javier couldn’t fucking believe his luck. How could he have had any part in creating something so perfect?

He had to sit down. He didn’t trust himself to hold her with unskilled hands while standing. She harrumphed slightly when he eased down onto the couch, but other than that, his little girl stayed off in her dreamworld, content and safe in her father’s arms for the first time.

“Just be careful not to touch the bottoms of her feet even a little bit, it wakes her up every time. She’s just like you with that.” You said, your voice lowered as you sat next to him much closer than before. He preened under the idea that any part of him was reflected in Ellie, even something so small and silly.

“She’s so warm. Is that normal?” Javi asked. He hoped she didn’t have a fever, he knew that a fever could really hurt a baby even with his limited knowledge. You reached out to gently feel her forehead and cheek, smiling after a moment.

“No, she's just a little furnace.” You settled against the back of the couch with a content smile. God, this just felt so right. Having you so close and smiling, having his daughter asleep and safe against him. He could feel the pieces snapping together, could feel himself becoming whole. “Yet another thing she has in common with you.”

“What else?” Javier whispered, desperate to hear everything.

“Hmm, let’s see. You have the same grumpy face.” You laugh when he glanced up at you, his eyebrows ticked together and lips pursed slightly. “Mhmm, that’s the one. Plus she hates carrots. Acts like I’ve personally offended her if I even offer them.”

“That’s because carrots are fucking disgusting.” Javi grumbles goodnaturedly as he gently rubs Ellie’s back. She’s so small, such a tiny, delicate little creature, and he can’t believe it. Any of it. You let him in after everything, took him in and introduced him to an entirely new world of possibility, one where if he was smart and did right by his two little ladies, he would get the life he always dreamed of.

Your fingers brushed an errant lock of hair from his face and Javi sighed, his eyes falling closed as he leaned into the soft touch that he missed so much. He hummed happily, practically purring like a pleased cat, when your fingers buried further in his hair and massaged over his scalp. Heaven. He was in heaven.

A gentle stirring against his chest made Javier glance down at Ellie and that first glimpse of her big brown eyes only confirmed what he already felt deep in his soul - this little girl was his everything. It was the most basic, simple thing he had ever felt, no question to be had about any of it.

Ellie wiggled against him, trying to get herself upright, and Javier immediately held her under her arms to sit her on his thigh. She looked inquisitively up at him from his lap, glancing over at you to confirm that you were nearby before staring at him as if he was the most interesting thing he has ever seen. Her little hand reached up to tug at his mustache, giving him a toothy grin at the way he laughed.

There were tears in his eyes and he couldn’t even deny them, couldn’t pretend they weren’t there. Javier could see them mirrored in your eyes as you watched Ellie stand in her father’s lap and try to balance herself with her hands on his shoulders.

You cleared your throat. “She’s about to start bouncing.”

“What? Whoa!” Javier exclaimed at the sudden feeling of what seemed like Ellie falling in his lap, his hands rushing for a firmer grip only for her to pop right back up and do it all over again. All three of you cracked up, your melodic laughter mixing with Ellie’s high giggling in the most beautiful way.

That night Javier got to cut up his daughter's food and help spoon bites into her mouth, sat at the table with Ellie and the love of his life, eating dinner like a family. He could picture this for the rest of his life. Eating breakfast and dinner together. Kissing the both of you goodbye in the morning and returning to his daughter running down the hall to wrap him in a hug. Chasing Ellie around a park and helping her down slides and pushing her on the swings.

This was his second chance, and he was going to do it right. God help him, he was not going to miss out on anything else. So when he saw the hesitance in your eyes that night after putting Ellie to bed, Javier settled himself on the couch with nothing but a gentle kiss to your forehead. There was no reason to push you. He wanted you to be comfortable, he owed you that much.

A week went by like that. Javier would rise in the morning to the sounds of you coming downstairs with Ellie on your hip and stretch, realigning his spine and pulling the tension from his sore back. He offered small pieces of affection and grinned every time they were accepted - a small peck on the lips here, his arm raised for you to curl closer on the couch there. Little Elianna was all too happy to join in on those little couch cuddle sessions, too, clambering into his lap or yours and snuggling close.

It seemed like the more Ellie warmed up to him, the more you did as well. Javi caught those small smiles when you watched him help ease his little girl to sleep for a nap. The more he proved himself to be a good father, the more comfortable you were letting him in, and it felt like progress. You laughed openly at his stupid jokes, reached out for him for affection of your own volition - kisses over coffee, holding hands as he pushed Ellie in the stroller - and it felt so good.

Javier fluffed up a pillow before tossing it against the arm of the couch, but before he could collapse his exhausted body into the cushions, he felt your hand curl around his bicep. The look in your eyes was almost afraid and worry clenched his stomach, but before he could spiral, you pulled him close and leaned up to kiss him.

A surprised sound hummed against your lips but Javi quickly regained himself to kiss you back. There was something softer about the way your lips pressed against his, something that had been absent from the quick, nearly chaste kisses you shared since he returned. This time you parted your lips and licked along the curve of his bottom lip, your hand coming up to press against his jaw and pull him even closer.

“You aren’t sleeping on that couch anymore.” You whispered against his lips.

“Oh, thank fuck.” Javi grumbled as he pressed even closer and kissed you again and again, slowly guiding you back to your bedroom.

He woke up the next morning with his bare chest against your back, his face buried in your hair, and he didn’t think life could get any better. His arms tightened around you as he gently rubbed up and down your side, the soft touch easing you out of sleep. The way you groaned made him smile; it was a sound he missed, even if it though was grumpy. You rolled over in his embrace and wrapped your arms around his neck to drag him over you, smiling sleepily at him before kissing him.

“My thighs are fucking aching, Javier.” You grumbled against him as you pressed a line of kisses along his jaw and down his neck.

He shivered at the feeling of your lips against his sensitive skin. “Mm, yeah, and you love it.”

You giggled in that way that made his stomach flip. “Fair enough.”

The door pushed open suddenly, almost hard enough to crack against the wall, and Ellie appeared on your side of the bed, her arms raised as she waited impatiently to be picked up. Javier happily pulled her up onto the bed. Scratch his earlier assumption - now his life couldn’t get any better. He watched Ellie jump and tumble around the sheets with happy squeals and that’s when he heard it. At first, he thought maybe he was hearing things until he saw the way your mouth fell open into a big grin, your eyes flitting back and forth between father and daughter.

“Papaaaa!” Ellie called out, her hands opening and closing rapidly, reaching for him from the other side of the bed. She kept saying it, repeating the two syllables over and over until it all bled into one long call for her dad.

Javier pulled her into his arms and squished her to his chest tightly, his eyes on you as his heart fluttered high in his chest. He couldn’t find the words, his voice choked out by his overwhelming love for the little family he had. He watched as you shuffled forward to kneel next to him and kiss the top of Ellie’s head, then his lips, pride shimmering in your eyes.

“Marry me.” Javier said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Your jaw dropped. “Javi… you don’t have to do this. I - I don’t want you to feel obligated.”

“Are you kidding me? I want to grow old with you, have kids with you, even have a fucking white picket fence.” It was as if the faucet was turned on and there was no stopping the words he so desperately wanted to say. “None of this is out of obligation, hermosa. I want you to be my wife.”

“Yes.” There were tears in your eyes as you listened to the words you had longed to hear for far too long. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Javier surged forward and kissed you again, and in that bed with the precious little girl the two of you created together and the promise of being yours forever, he knew he was right where he belonged.

{Taglist}

@iamburdened @everyhowlmarksthedead @jenrebloggingfics @xserenax-13 @silverstarsandsuns @luminescentlily @peterpstuff @leonieb @lazybeeches @withasideofmeg @freeshavocadoooo @chattychell @ew-erin @viktorialukowski @cjbtw @agentshortstacc @a-skov @himbotroy

[sarcasmandships]

honey and glass ~ spencer reid

i am in love with spencer reid but he only has eyes for jennifer jareau

spencer reid x reader angst + hurt/comfort (sorta, it’s all in first person but with no names/no specific descrptions)

song fic inspired by ‘honey and glass’ by peyton cardoza

word count: 4.8k

disclaimer: i do not ship jeid or think they had any chemistry but it’s a good opportunity for angst x

you know those kinds of girls who look like they're made of honey and glass like sticky sweet ash

it’s a summers night in california and i’m on the beach at sunset.

the sand is rough under my toes and a warm, gentle breeze blows a strand of my hair across my face; he lifts his hand to brush it away. tucking it behind my ear he stares down at me and the sun hits his face at a perfect angle, illuminating his hazel eyes like pools of honey. he leans in and i-

“ow!” i yelp, as morgan launches the volleyball at my head, “what was that for?”  

“come and play,” he laughs, waving me over to where he stands with emily and hotch.

i shake my head, “no, i don’t feel like it,” i mumble, massaging my left temple where the ball bounced off my skull.

morgan rolls his eyes and jogs past where i’m sitting to collect the ball, “what’s up with you then?” he teases.

i shrug, “nothing. I’m just tired,” i say feigning an unconvincing yawn, “ask one of them to play.”  

i motion with my head towards spencer and jj, they’re down by the edge of the waves and she throws her head back and laughs at something he says. her sheets of blonde hair ripple through the wind and he looks at her in pure awe and amazement as she giggles at something he said.

“nah, don’t wanna interrupt the kid when he’s trying to make a move,” morgan shrugs, “come play with us, we need an extra person.”

an extra person.

right.

because what else am i but another body to fill the space?

“i don’t want to,” i say, forcing myself to tear my eyes away from jj and spencer as i stand up, “hotch said the jet is leaving first thing tomorrow, i’m gonna head back to the hotel and get some sleep.”

morgan says something, but i don’t register it as i allow myself one last glance at spencer and jj. she is trying to convince him to paddle in the waves with her, he shakes his head but when she takes his hand in hers i can tell he’s melting inside as he follows her into the water.

and i just know that he’d follow her so far out to sea that his head was underwater as long as she kept their hands intertwined.

i turn away from morgan so he doesn’t see the tears burning in my eyes.

and you can't get the taste off your tongue burnt sugar and a little bit of rum

we’re in a dimly lit bar somewhere.

hotch left hours ago, he wanted to take advantage of one of the rare nights he would be there to read jack a bedtime story.

rossi is at a table in the corner, sitting with a woman who has not-so-subtly draped her leg over him.

derek is out of my line of sight and i’m thankful for that.

emily, garcia, and jj are dancing.

i sit at the table with spencer, he’s drunk.

more tipsy than drunk i think, but he so rarely drinks anything that the sight of him swaying along to the music was an anomaly. i can’t ignore the fact that his eyes are firmly fixed on jj as she dances, and i grip my wine glass so tightly i half expect it to shatter in my hand.

he leans across to me and my heart skips a beat as i inhale the alcohol on his breath, “i’m in love with her, y’know,” he slurs.

“i know, spencer,” i smile sadly and down the rest of my wine.

he doesn’t even notice when i grab my coat from behind him and shuffle towards the door.

and she dances in the rain with her clothes on drenched to the bone never knows when she's all gone, she's the life of the party

spencer and i are watching the big bang theory.

neither of us particularly like it, but there aren’t many channels on our hotel room tv and spencer enjoys the physics references at least. i watch his face light up as a character mentions something about quantum theory that i cant understand, and spencer launches into a rant about the universe and the stars.

i don’t have the knowledge to keep up with him or the heart to tell him to stop so i sit and listen, admiring the way his eyes sparkle and his hands gesticulate when no one interrupts him with a deprecating comment.

we sit there like that for the rest of the night, in our respective twin beds with him telling me the secrets of the universe and me wondering how on earth i will ever get over him.

and deep down I know that nobody flinches when she takes off her clothes

“anything you like?” emily asks me through the dressing room curtain.

“i’m not sure…” i mumble in response, biting down on my lip as i stare at myself in the mirror, “i-i don’t think this is my colour.”

the dress looked so beautiful on the hanger, but now that it’s on my body the fabric bunches up in all the wrong places and i can’t recall a time that i’ve looked worse.

the lights are just washing you out, i tell myself.

you’re having a bad hair day, it would look better with your hair down, i tell myself.

you just need some lipstick, i tell myself.

but when jj announces she has found the perfect dress and i stick my head out of the curtain to see her, i am slapped in the face with the realisation that it isn’t the lighting or my lack of makeup it’s just me.

because jj looks beautiful as always, her dress hugs her waist and the skirt fans out around her as emily demands she gives us a spin. she isn’t wearing makeup, her hair is in a ponytail too, the lights don’t wash her out because she is radiant and flawless, and the lights aren’t the problem.

i am.

i cry in my car as i drive home from the mall, and when i get home i tear everything out of my fridge and fling it into the trashcan. i vow to go to the store and stock up on salad and chicken.

i go to the store but i don’t buy salad.

and I wonder what it's like to be one of those girls to sit in the sun and look at the world and never think, "wow, am i enough?" ‘cause life is easy when you know that you're the main character

i’m in hotch’s office as he grills me about a stupid mistake i made in the field. i can hardly focus on his words as i shrink back in the chair, counting all the reasons that i don’t deserve to be in this job.

i’m not as smart or fast or strong as the others. i don’t have an eidetic memory or hacker skills and i can’t even maintain myself as a solid average agent because i keep fucking up.

“i’m not going to write you up,” he says, and my heart soars a little in my chest, “but i need you to understand that if you do something like that again i won’t have any choice, you were lucky no one got hurt today.”

i nod silently and blink back the tears that threaten to spill over.

“go home, get some rest,” he says and i don’t hang around for a second longer, darting out of his office i crash headfirst into a tall frame.

“wow, slow down,” he chuckles, resting a hand on my shoulder to steady me.

“spencer,” i gasp, looking up at his sympathetic smile, “what are you still doing here? we landed hours ago….”

he shrugs, “i waited for you.”

my heart skips a beat.

“you didn’t have to do that.”

he shakes his head, “you’re my best friend, i wanted to. plus i thought you might need someone after being in there with hotch.”

i swallow and offer him a slightly forced smile.

best friend.

“thanks, spence, that means a lot.”

he looks at me quizzically.

“what’s wrong?”

“nothing, just only jj calls me spence…anyways” he holds out his arm for me, “shall we go?”

i have to restrain myself from seizing his arm, and settle for tentatively wrapping my own around it, “thanks spencer…you’re such a good friend.”

he smiles down at me and its almost enough to melt away the icy feeling in my heart as i call him a friend. the coldness in my chest in my chest is a feeling i’ve grown accustomed to but when i’m with him everything is warm and bright again.

he feels like yellow.

and i feel like maybe i am enough.

and I'm sitting here thinking this is not fair

i feel like blue.

i’m alone in my apartment flicking through tv channels, trying to find something that isn’t a medical or crime drama. because after my day at work i can’t look at any more blood or dead bodies, even if its as fake as the pep in my voice when jj calls to ask if i’m okay.

“hotch grilled you pretty bad, huh? you sure you’re okay?”

“yeah, spence – spencer – waited for me and we went to get milkshakes after.”

“aww that’s so nice, you know i think he has a soft spot for you,” she teases.

something acidic bubbles in my throat, but i can’t tell her that i know she’s wrong because he spent half the night telling me how much he loves her. i have to gather the strength to respond without the venom in my heart poisoning my voice.

“oh, i don’t think so,” i laugh, “anyways, i should go – my movie is about to start.”

jj tells me to have a good night before she hangs up, and i switch off the tv. at this time there’s noting but romcoms and i don’t want to sit through hours of pining when its on replay every day at the office.

i watch my own reflection in the blank tv screen as sobs wrack my body.

but her smile makes it hard to be mad it's not her fault that I'm so fucking sad

jj holds me in her arms as i cry into her chest, “it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay,” she coos, rubbing soft circles on my back.

i sniffle against her and i just know that my eyes are puffy and red but i can’t switch off the floods of tears that fall from them.

“do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” she asks.

i shake my head against her because how could i tell her?

how could I tell her that the man i love is in love with her?

and that i want to resent her for it but i can’t because she’s such a good fucking friend that she’s sitting here with me, unknowingly wiping the tears that i can’t stop shedding because i can’t be her.

she gives me one of those heart warming smiles that could bring peace to a dying man, and in that moment i am reminded again of why he loves her. there are worse people to love, i suppose. if spencer is going to cut out his heart and give it to someone it might as well be someone like her.

but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

and i hate myself for the part of me that hates her. she’s done nothing wrong. it’s not her fault that that spencer loves her, and its not her fault that she doesn’t realise.

so I'll sit here and look at these girls in the sun dancing in the rain and just having their fun

i hate alaska.

my teeth chatter as we trudge through the snow filled field, and i pull the cuffs of my coat over my glove cladded hands. i hate the cold. i hate alaska. i hate the serial killer who dragged us all out here. i hate the impending snowstorm that was keeping the jet grounded for another night.

“should we even be out here?” i groan, “i mean if it’s not safe for the plane, then surely its not safe for us.”

“we aren’t 50,000 feet up in the sky though,” morgan says and i roll my eyes at him.

“it’s cold enough to make me feel like we are,” i huff.

spencer nods sympathetically at me, “i don’t like the cold either, not much snow in vegas.”

“i think we should have two behavioural analysis units,” i begin, “one to catch serial killers in cold climates, and the other in hot ones.”

he laughs, “i’d like that, but i think it’d just be us and garcia on the hot team.”

“we’d get by.”

he’s grinning at me, his messy brown curls are squashed down under his bobble hat but a few of them still manage to peak out. he’s wearing a multicoloured striped scarf and mismatched gloves.

a snowflake lands on his eyelash and i reach out to brush it off.

“thanks.”

“anytime.”

morgan launches a snowball at us, and it hits me in the back of the head, “hey! what is it with you and throwing things?” i snap.

morgan roars with laughter.

“not funny derek!”

he resumes his snowball fight with emily and jj and i draw my arms across my chest. i watch as they prance about in the snow, falling to avoid the snowballs launched by the others and laughing when they get hit. the sun is just starting to set, and it’s rays catch jj’s hair at the perfect angle, bouncing off the golden blonde strands as she dances around morgan. her and emily have joined forces to pelt him with snowballs.

i look up at spencer to see him starting at her in awe. his nose and cheeks are flushed from the cold, and the sun reflects against his own face, illuminating his eyes. they’re beautiful. like honey and glass.

“guys! come join us!” jj calls.

i shake my head, “there’s not enough money in the world.”

she pouts at me, “spence, please,” she says sweetly and before i know it he’s by her side and scooping up snow.

i watch from the side-lines.

spencer roars with laughter when emily hits morgan square in the face with a snowball, he wraps an arm around jj as she nearly collapses from laughter, something twinges in my stomach.

but he looks so happy, and that melts my glacier heart slightly.

maybe alaska wasn’t so bad after all.

and maybe one day, i can forget the past and be one of those girls of honey and glass

“nice to meet you, agent,” agent fitz says, holding out his hand, “we’ve heard good things about you up in the new york office.”

“really?” i say, shaking his hand and i can’t fight the smile that creeps across my face.

“really. give me a call if you ever fancy a change of scenery.”

“i’ll keep that in mind, agent fitz,” i give him a nod and a smile as he walks away.

new york was cold in the winter, but it didn’t seem like the worst place in the world.

but I think that it's hard for people to see that I love all these girls, and honestly it doesn't matter what you look like or how much you weigh

i wondered once how i’d ever get over my love for spencer reid, and now as he sits and sobs on my couch i realise that i don’t want to. it hurts me to love him, and something stabs my heart every time i catch him staring at her, but he deserves someone to love him like he loves her.

“i guess i’m just starting to realise that she’ll never love me back, and i don’t know why or what’s wrong with me,” he says and looks up at me, his eyes filled with tears and his face blotchy and red.

“there’s nothing wrong with you,” i say, wrapping an arm around him and wiping his tears, “sometimes the people you love just don’t love you back, but that’s not a reflection of you or your self-worth,” i reiterate to him the mantra i say in my mirror every morning.

he whimpers and my heart breaks for him.

“it doesn’t feel that way, it feels like i’m dying inside every time she talks about him or tells me about their dates, and i try to be a good friend but-”

his voice cracks and another sob escapes his chest and i tighten my grip around him; heartbreak doesn’t seem to get easier with age, because here we are, two fbi agents in our late twenties crying over our crushes like we are in junior high.

because before i know it the tears are flowing down my face faster than his and when he breaks away from our embrace to ask me why i’m crying, i can’t tell him it’s because i am feeling everything he is.

“i just don’t like seeing you like this,” is all i can muster up.

it's just that these girls know they're okay there's a beauty in knowing your place in the world in loving yourself and knowing your worth

“hey!” spencer greets me as he steps into the elevator with me.

“hi,” i mumble back, taking another sip of coffee from my travel cup.

we’ve been called in on a case, but i’ve barely had any sleep and i’m struggling to keep my eyes open.

“you look tired, are you okay?”

you look tired.

so the bags under my eyes were obvious then.

“yeah,” i say, swallowing the lump in my throat, “just a late night, y’know.”

“oh…oh! is that your way of saying your date went well?” he says with a coy grin.

“what?”

oh! something clicks in my brain and i understand what he means.

“no! not like that no…actually it didn’t go well at all, he turned out to be a total misogynistic creep,” i say with a bitter laugh.

“oh, i’m sorry….”

i shrug and take another swig of coffee, “it’s okay, you didn’t know. to be honest i’ll probably end up calling him again anyways.”

spencer stares at me, confused, “why would you do that?”

“well, i don’t exactly have guys falling over themselves for me, do i?”

spencer frowns and i can see his brain working overtime behind his eyes, “so you’re just going to settle for less than you deserve?”

“i don’t have many other options do i?”

he reaches out an arm to place a comforting hand on my shoulder, “don’t worry, you’ll find the right guy for you soon. it’s only a matter of time, you’re worth more than a misogynistic creep,” he squeezes my shoulder and before i know it we’ve already reached our floor and he’s gone.

you’ll meet the right guy for you soon.

what if i already have?

you don't have to be perfect or never get sad that's not what it means to be honey and glass

it’s late and i sit at my desk, sorting through piles of paperwork.

my eyes blur as i enter the gruesome details of our latest case, from fatigue or tears i can’t tell. i think emily and hotch are still hanging around the office somewhere, but the others had gone to dinner as soon as we landed, promising that they would do their paperwork tomorrow.

i knew i would have no appetite sitting across a table from spencer and jj so i had sat silently in the back of the suv as hotch drove us back to the office.

a singular tear rolls down my cheek and splatters on my page, smudging the not-quite-dry-yet ink. i let out a shaky breath and wipe my eyes, i don’t know why i’m crying really.

no one had necessarily done anything wrong. only when we were in the field and the unsub had detonated the bomb, spencer chose to push jj out of the way instead of me. i was lucky that one of the s.w.a.t agents had grabbed my arm in time and pulled me back to safety.

it had been hours and my ears were still ringing from the explosion.

maybe spencer thought he was closer to jj, that he had a better chance of saving her, we are trained to make difficult choices based on survival odds, i told myself.

only spencer hadn’t been closer to jj, and she was surrounded by three s.w.a.t agents whilst i only had one next to me. but no one had really done anything wrong, no one died, no one even broke a bone. and it pains me to admit to myself but had i been in spencer’s position and had to chose between saving him or morgan, i know that would pull spencer out of the way every single time.

i jump as emily creeps up behind me, “hey, you okay?”

i don’t even try and disguise my puffy, red eyes or tear tracks as i look up at her, “no. but i think that’s okay.”

and everyone has their highs and their lows the nights you spend crying, believe me, I know

it’s roslyn’s birthday.

i don’t think anyone else in the team knows because they keep exchanging looks whenever jj snaps at one of them and i can see the annoyance in their eyes.

when jj barks at spencer and snaps her pencil within the space of five minutes i drag her into a storage closet and wrap my arms around her.

“shhh,” i say soothingly, “it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay.”

jj shakes her head, “i don’t think so, i thought this day would get easier with time but it’s just getting worse,” she sniffles.

i stroke her hair, “i know, i know its horrible and you deserve to cry as much as you want to. but you are so strong, and i know you can get through this-”

“i’m not,” jj shakes her head, “i’m not strong or brave or anything that you all think i am, i’m not like you I-”

“like me?” i question.

“you always hold yourself together, whenever there’s a case with a kid i’m falling to pieces but you keep it together. i mean i’m the one crying in a storage closet….”

i stare at her in disbelief, because jj is the strongest woman i know and i don’t understand how she can’t see that.

“i don’t have a sister who killed herself jj,” i say slowly, “you have survived 100% of the bad things that have happened to you because you’re a fighter, that makes you strong.”

she shakes her head and clings to me, “but i’ve lost pieces of myself, i’m not the same person i could’ve been if life had been kinder to me and that makes me sad. my sister is dead and that makes me sad, everyone thinks i’m this strong and perfect person and that makes me feel guilty because i can’t be that person.”

in a turn of events, she is crying into my chest, her hair is greasy, and her mascara runs and i realise that my best friend was never truly on the pedestal i placed her on. and i realise i am part of the problem, treating jj like she is the be all and all of perfection and unattainablity when i should just be treating her like a friend.

spencer loves her and that kills me but it’s not what’s important right now. i’ve spent too long inside my own head, struggling to view her as my best friend or the other woman but now i see that she is someone that needs my help.

i know what it’s like to cry myself to sleep so i don’t want jj to go through something like that alone. so i vow there and then, to push my own feelings aside and be whatever she needs me to be.

i don't want to be these girls for beauty or fame but for the confidence they have in their own damn name

“smile!” garcia says as she appears with a camera.

emily, jj, and morgan turn to face her and pose but i duck out of the frame. garcia pouts and morgan grabs onto my forearm to pull me back into shot. i wish that i had the self-confidence to let him, to fall in next to him and make a silly pose at the camera and not worry if my hair was sitting nicely or if i was breathing in enough.

“come on! i need pictures for my scrapbook and you’ve been dodging me all night!” she whines.

i stare down at my feet, “garcia i’m not photoshoot ready like these guys,” i say, trying to make my voice light and floaty but it just sounds like im choking back tears.

“come on, just one picture,” jj says kindly, waving for me to come and stand next to her.

i shake my head again and wring my hands. the last thing i need is another photograph of jj and i to compare myself to every time i’m feeling extra low and self-destructive.

i try and remember the vow i made, to be there for my friend despite my own feelings. but she isn’t sad anymore, she’s happy and smiling and drinking wine, me squeezing in between her and emily for a stupid photograph isn’t going to make or break her.

it’s just a stupid photograph.

“no thanks,” i choke, “i’m going to get another drink,” i scurry away to the kitchen before anyone can object.

i shut the door quickly behind me and press my back up against it, taking a deep breath. i can’t quite believe i was successful in escaping garcia again.

“are you avoid garcia and her camera too?”

“spencer!” i laugh shrilly, “i didn’t even see you there.”

“yeah, i’ve been hiding in here for a half hour,” he smiles sadly, “i hate having my picture taken, especially next to morgan. he makes me look even lankier if possible.”

i frown, spencer had no reason to feel insecure.

“why don’t we get garcia to take a picture of just us two?” i suggest nervously, “you won’t have any reason to feel insecure next to me….”

he looks at me quizzically, “what do you mean?”

i wring my hands again, “just that you’ll automatically look even better if i’m next to you…cos’ i’m…well y’know,” i say awkwardly motioning to my face and body.

he cocks his head to the side, “are you trying to tell me you think you’re ugly, so i’ll look better by comparison?”

i shrug.

“well, i think you look beautiful.”

so I'll sit here and look at these girls in the sun dancing in the rain and just having their fun

we’re on the plane journey home.

spencer and jj sit next to each other, their arms pressed together as they share the arm rest. spencer is reading a book; his eyes scan down the pages at lightening speed and i know he’ll be finished soon.

i am on the opposite side of the plane, i sit by myself, i like the space.

i keep my eye on them throughout the flight; just as i predicted, it doesn’t take long for spencer to finish his book and he places it down on the table in front of him. jj picks it up and teases him for the long-winded title, i don’t catch what she says, something about astrophysics.

he starts to ramble, and she interrupts him with another teasing remark, he flushes when she gently nudges his chest. i turn my head to stare out of the window, biting my lip.

they aren’t even doing anything, jj is just being friendly. and i still can’t handle it. i lie my head back against the headrest as i gaze out of the window, admiring the new york skyline as it fades into the distance.

a nervous chuckle from spencer snaps me out of my trance, and i look back over to see him and jj giggling secretively as she whispers something into his ear.

 “where are you going?” emily grumbles, she’s half asleep with her legs splayed out across two chairs when i accidently bump her foot.

 “bathroom,” i say quietly with a forced smile as i shuffle past jj and spencer, my heart seizing in my chest as she teases him about how long his hair is getting, brushing her hand through the curls.

i’m already silently sobbing in the bathroom so i miss the pitiful look that emily and morgan exchange.

and I know it doesn't make sense to forget the past but I promise, one day, you'll be honey and glass

“agent fitz?” i say, clutching my phone tight in my hand.

“ahh, i’ve been wondering when i’d be hearing from you.”

i laugh quietly, “yes, well i’ve been thinking about what you said, and i think i could do with that change of scenery now.”

i wrote this in a couple hours and didnt proof read so apologies for an errors :))

part 2

[jodiie-leighanne]

Sin and Sinuous. Final Part

This took forever to write for you guys and get it just how I wanted. The beginning looks confusing but I'm sure you'll get the hang of it, please enjoy.

There will not be smut, it just would not have fit in. Sorry loves.

Blurry, everything's a tear smudged blur as my feet hit the sidewalk. I felt like my body wasn't my own walk up to that apartment block, collapsing into the arms of my brother the minute I stepped through. Engulfed in warmth as I released my sorrow onto his shoulder.

His expression tense and knowing, River and Theodore were there when the test came back positive. They built me up and told me he would support me, do the right thing. Neither expected me to come back. We were meant to run and finally be together "Hey, hey what happened."

"He-he, fuck he chose her Riv" sentence staggered through the sobs, shuddering against the only solid consistency I have ever had. Rivers' nostrils flared as he rested a cheek on my hair inhaling sharply, soothing me with strokes and peppered kisses. "It's ok, Theodore."

Hurried steps were heard, "What."

"Look after her I'll be back." another set of arms pulled me into their lap holding me as they rocked gently. I grabbed for my brother's wrist staring up through wet lashes, "No, don't leave me please"

Sighing he bent down, "I'll be right back." Theo continued to hold me tighter, absorbing my pain.

Cries racked through my chest as she left in an instant, everything I ever wanted just disappeared and I cannot do a thing about it, waltzing to the kitchen snot dripping down my lips as I held myself together barely. A bottle flew passed my head to collide with the wall making me duck to miss the shards.

"You are a fucking cunt, what did you say to her" River was stood grabbing whatever he could find to launch in my direction, no shoes on, raw eyes, no shirt on as his muscles hammered with his breathing. Fists blanched white; he was enraged.

"River, I had to..." Another objection came my way as he bellowed "bullshit" Sprinting at me with force enough to take me up in the air spine thudding to the ground. His hands found my neck as he began squeezing.

"That baby is half mine" I wheezed, attempting to pry him off.

"That baby is Ophie's, just another casualty to your selfish ways. It's time to do what's best"

"No river please" His tough act wavered a second, as he staggered to his feet.

"Draco just don't" He turned away from me, palms braced on the table, "I'll do anything". It was hardly audible, but he heard me.

Shaking his head as he turned to me once more, "Leave with her"

"I can't do that" With that he chuckled and headed for the door without so much as a goodbye.

Following out just after, I went to the only place i could think off, she was stood in her nightgown, hair doused in curlers. Eyes narrowed as she took in my fractured form "I can't do this anymore Mum"

"Dra-"

"I cannot pretend- I've spent my- my whole life doing what everyone wants" Fingers tugged at my roots as i lost control of everything, I couldn't stop weeping even if I tried to. "Darling please, you're scaring me" Cautiously she stepped towards me wrapping her arms around my body.

"I-I fuck, make it stop it hurts mum it fucking hurts" Screaming as my knees buckled sending me to the ground, she followed me down. Humming to be as I wailed, a broken boy in the arms of his mother.

Neither noticed the elder man, peeking around the door frame. Feeling guilt and the smallest shattered to his heart.

The entrance was thrown open as Riv strove through, "Pack your things sweetheart we are leaving" He half smiled in my direction as he headed for the bedroom, I placed down a bowl of ice-cream on the coffee table, skipping behind in tiny prances. Luggage bags sprawled over the bed as he tossed clothes in of his and his boyfriends.

"Leaving? River what are..." Grabbing the packed clothes and chucking them back out, he tugged me closer by my hoodie strings. I'd never seen him so mad before, he was always soft with me. "I won't ask again Ophelia" He seethed, hues flitting to the door as Theo stood with a toothbrush dangling out his mouth, "Theodore pack"

"What happened?" I tried to question again, Rivers' head dropped as his shoulders sagged, "He won't stay away, he won't stop. Us leaving is the only way to end it"

"Us?" Tears welled for the thousandth time today, one hand cradled on my stomach although nothing visible was there it was just comforting. Theo appeared by my side, beaming with a huffed snicker, placing his large hands-on top of mine, followed by Riv. "You won't be doing this alone"

Speaking with my mother helped, I knew it would. She was of course shocked, not surprised she could feel the energy me and Ophie gave off when in a shared space it was no surprise. Five minutes I've now been banging on the door, calling out in begging chants for them to let me in. Impatience hit me, using my wand to cast an unlocking spell. I quietly stepped through; all the lights were off. It was silent, not a peep. "Baby? This isn't funny please"

Every room empty, all their clothes gone. I'm too late. All that's left was a note on her still made bed, 'Imm sorry' "Fuuuuuuucccccckkkkkk"

"Why so sad Draco?" Lake asked with a sarcastic grin, legs hanging over the chair arms as she sipped on a wine. "Fuck off" I spat, reaching to make my own drink, noticing the chaos my brother-in-law caused was cleared up.

"You caused this, you and her" She called out, sashaying towards me, if I met her eyes id skin the bitch. Placing a conniving hold on my shoulder she whispered, "This is your karma dear husband" Before walking away singing to herself.

This way going way too quick for my liking, I looked like someone had pumped me full of air, waddling became my form of movement.

"Do you want to know what you're having?" The sonographer cooed, waving the wand over my bulging belly. All three of us nodded, most of the time I'm sure people think I'm their surrogate, which I do not mind. "It's a boy" She squealed, causing whooping and whistling to sound from the men.

"Draco get dressed you've been moping around for months now" Father scolded, whacking my shins with his stick as I lay outstretched on the sofa, consuming carbs and feeling sorry for myself. "And I'll continue to do so'

"You should be busy planning for the rest of yours and Lake's future" He spoke timidly, almost like he was convincing himself of the fact.

"There is no future" Pushing myself up to leave, hearing him sigh defeated as I did.

"That's it you got it, push sis" Riv winced as I drained the blood from his hands in a bone crushing grip, fuck giving birth hurt no one told me this tiny little bundle would be a huge headed terror, ripping my pussy into three.

"I can't ... ahhhhh" Throwing my head back as the sweat gathered on my forehead, listening to the words of encouragement from the Medi witches, "Theooo" I whined, swatting at the intrusive bastard who had a camera pointed at my nether region "Get your face away from there"

"Just trying to catch every moment" The flash and a click went off as Theodore recoiled with a curse, a busty grey-haired woman shoved him out the way delivering a smack to the skull. Many more hours and pushing, he was finally born. Eight pound seven ounces, striking grey hues and tufts of blonde. He is utterly ethereal.

"I can't believe he is here ..." I uttered, kissing his hairline. "He's his daddy's double" Nott stated. Smiling down as he held my index, he really is.

"Drinking again, wife?" Chortling at the state of my once radiant wife, hair matted and stale liquor all she smelt of. "Indeed, it's the only affection i get" She giggled, spinning in circles listening to muggle FM.

"That's a lie, we both know you had a visitor last night" We hadn't touched in months. It made me feel sick just by the thought, not in a disrespectful way. She just wasn't who my heart and body wanted, and I could no longer mask that. Preferring to stay celibate whilst she had men in on a rota. "I'd rather have you," She sang.

Scoffing at the audacity, my eyes rolled "I'll pass, get dressed it's your father party tonight you're a mess"

"Get out..." Shouting out without so much of a glance up from my novel, the baby tucked in his cradle next to me snoring softly. "I'm hurt truly" Peering up, Theodore stood in a suit clutching at his chest, faking a heart break.

"I'm not going Theo"

"Yep, we got that when you threw pasta at river from daring to ask" Two day ago an invite to my sperm donors sixtieth birthday gathering came, It's been a year almost and they now choose to reach out, probably to show face in public, pretend we are a happy family of five.

The newlywed Notts, River choosing to take his now husband's name in a very private ceremony with a registrar at the ministry, have been eagerly trying to persuade me to attend. It's the last thing on my mind with an eleven-week-old baby, who doesn't sleep, sucks my nipples as a pacifier until they bleed. When he smiles or gargles at me, everything fades away. I couldn't be happier for them. Anyway, around an hour ago, Riv gifted me with a beautiful dress and explained he had told our parents we would be there. This led to the spaghetti bolognaise he made now decorating his linen trousers and flooring. Serves him right.

"Good, out you go" I smirk, going back to my book. He tutted, whipping it from my hold, tapping the tip of my nose "Nope little witch, you listen to me it's time"

"It is not"

"We both know it is" Laying my book down on the end of the bed, he dipped his palms into the cot picking up the tiny scrunching body that just made my pride sore. "I'll watch him get showered and put on something that will get that snake's tongue tied" Winking as he bounced away baby in arms.

"You're rooting for this aren't you?" I called as he reached the threshold, "Sure am"

Deciding it was best myself and Lake travelled separately to the venue, as our divorce is secretly underway. I headed to escort my parents. "Mother you look beautiful" No matter how old this woman got, she could pull off almost every style of gown, black was however her favoured colour. "Thank you, my son, how are you?" Reaching to kiss my cheek as she used her thumb to rub off the maroon lipstick.

"Better"

"Draco? Do you think she will come?" She queered as we looped arms heading to the car father had warming. "I hope so"

"You know I support you" Since I showed all my cards and bared my emotions fully, she tried to help me track them down and find out whatever she could, they had vanished.

"I know you do, you always have".

Every figure that was greeted by the Jones family, I shot my head up hoping she would be amongst them so far, no such luck, Id perched myself at the bar letting the whiskey free flow down my throat welcoming the burn. It was stupid to think she would turn up here, she has been gone for months. Has our child been born? Did she even keep the baby? I don't know if i would have in her situation, that's her body her choice to make. Deep down I bloody hope she did, I've always wanted to be a dad, to have mini-Malfoys running riot to raise them the way i wasn't with love and care. When mother heard of the pregnancy she was elated, despite the illegitimacy. It didn't matter anymore, even Lucuis had come to terms that I wasn't wanting to continue the marriage and after he bumped into one of my betrothed late-night flits at a restaurant, safe to say he wasn't pleased.

A familiar chuckle roused me from staring at the amber liquid in my cup, Notts here which means his other half is here, maybe Phi came to. Striding over to where the pair were shaking hands with Rivs mother and father whilst Theo embraced mine, they both shot me a look as if I was vermin, to be fair I'm worse than that. River dismissed his mother, slowly approaching me, "Malfoy, what brings you over here?"

"Can we talk?" Muttering through gritted teeth, trying not to show the weakness that was more than apparent. "Shes in the library, waiting for you" Glancing around he smiled and nodded at passers, wrinkling my shirt in his fist, "Do not fuck this up"

Turning on my heels i headed straight to where she was, clammy palms and throat drier than the desert it's been so fucking long, i need to keep composed i can't blow this chance she has extended without realising. Two solid brown doors never looked so intimidating, knowing what's behind them made it almost impossible to enter. Lifting my hand to twist the knob, pushing it open a fraction. Ears pricking at the soft lullabies sounding, there she was midnight blue gown, those locks I've revelled in having twisted around my knuckle pinned back in a waterfall down her exposed spine. She stood swaying by the bay windows, as she turned more the glimpse of a white woven blanket came to sight.

"You can come closer, it's ok Draco" Her pitch forgiving, creeping closer I felt on the verge of passing out. Wrists twitching as I now stood flush to her back, daring to place a ghosted touch on her hip. Ophelia sighed at the feel of me so close, braving to peer over her shoulder, I couldn't contain the train of fervour that rushed through me. In her safe embrace was a bundled-up mirror image of myself. Bottom lip slightly poked out as the infant sucked on an imaginary teat.

"Wonderful, isn't he?"

"He? We have a son?" I caught the beam of fondness that graced her as she stared in awe, nodding in response. "What's his name?"

Ophie huffed a laugh "Kai, it means sea" My expression turned wholesome, "Does he have a middle name?" Raising a limb to stroke the peaceful boy's cheek, stilling in movement at her answer.

"He does, Eltanin" To others it was just unique to me, it meant so much more. Eltanin is the brightest star in the Draconis constellation; it means dragon's head. "His last name?" Continuing to finally meet his silky skin I felt an instant connection with my son. I'd heard you did but never thought it to be true until right this moment.

"Jones" That hurt, i knew it had to be that way for now, it didn't stop the pang. "I fucking hate this" Murmuring against the shell of her ear, she turned more to face me.

"You left Ophie" Breathing on her collarbone where I placed a subtle peck. "You gave me no choice" She is right, I didn't.

"I had no choice"

"We all have them, Draco, it's up to us to make the right decision"

"What the fuck do we do phi? How are you so calm"

Sighing her emerald eyes sunk into the depths of mine, swirling around one another "There's a 8lb chubby blonde in my arms he never asked for this, he is perfect Draco. He deserves the world.

Clearing my throat, I broached the question "Can I?" Gesturing with my head down to Kai.

Brow quirking in surprise like she didn't expect me to accept this "You want to?"

"Yeah" Carefully she guided him into my arms, making sure to support his head and warn me in harsh notes to do the same. When I had him, I clutched Kai to my chest as if he would evaporate. It felt natural to hold him, if it was always meant to be. "Hello, my son, you're heavier than you look huh? Mums feeding you well"

"Only the best bar in town" She snickered, wiggling her chest, which made my eyes widen in curiosity. "Oh, how-how does it feel"

"Weird, a good weird" Without realising she edged closer leaning on me as we just gazed at this miracle made of lust and sin. "I'm sorry you've been brought in. Nothing changes the fact my blood pumps through your veins, your mine. My siggy" Kissing his temple, as Ophelia smirked "Siggy?".   Rolling my eyes, of course she didn't know. "It's the name of a baby dragon, which he is. He is my son"

"I beg your fucking pardon?" Shit. My wife's arrived. "You're joking right? Not only was you two fucking you got pregnant, you absolute fool" She spat running out the door. I passed siggy to his mother, darting behind the crazy cow before she did something stupid.

All eyes darted to me as I entertained the hall where the party was held, too late. Ophelia soon stood by my side, strong and determined, ready for what was to come. Theodore and River came after, scooping his nephew up to keep him from harm.

"Oh, here she is, my sister ladies and gentlemen, the bitch who screwed my husband behind my back then birthed the bastard heir", She is a woman you cannot hit her, resist. "Lake enough" I growled in a warning.

"No, it's enough when i fucking say it is, you are an abomination you and that fucking child" Directing her hate slur, straight at her younger sibling, Ophie was never one for confrontation but i feel right now those morals are gone at the mention of her child, mama bear mode activated. "River, take my son out the room would you" He did as asked, with a sly upturned lip. "You can hate me go ahead I wouldn't stop you" She fired back, stepping closer to Lay.

Drinks, food and glasses hurled across the room as the sisters finally went head-to-head, shouts and screams of guests ducking and diving away from projectiles. Dragging each other by their hair as Phi straddle Lake throwing jabs left and right. A nudge to my elbow stopped the heat drifting to my dick, she looked so fucking good when she is being an utter devil. Lifting her in one arm I hauled her away suspended in air as she thrashed around.

"Well, that was an interesting, happy birthday Father" Lake cackled like a lunatic as she rose to stand, panting from the tousle. Abraham came to her aid, scowling as his other wayward child that I held against me. "I knew we should have sent you away, drowned you ruin everything" I do not fucking think so, stepping forward to rock this man's world "Don't you speak to her."

A flash of black drifted past calling out, "Allow me" River's fist collided with his father's jaw sending him to the ground. He turned around with fire dancing in his orbs.

"Can't let my little sister be the disappointment of the hour, Dad I'm gay" Gasps broke the silence, "And I'm fucking this guy" Riv pointed behind me causing everyone's eyes to snap to... My fucking father, I mean he did threaten me once to, I'm going to vomit.

River paled at his mistake. "Shit no, not Lucius, sorry Mr Malfoy your grace" Laughter fled from a lot of lips at the panicked boy, "But if you're ever feeling experimental." Theodore sheeted his arms around his man's waist whispering something in his ear causing a blush to rise.

"Theo I'm with Theodore Nott and I'm mad about that stupid idiot, and we are married" Surprisingly people clapped and cheered as Mr Jones turned an odd shade leaving the room snatching Lake away with him. Taking the opportunity I tugged Ophelia with me to the hall, slamming her spine into the nearest wall.

"I don't care anymore if I lose everything, none of this was mine to begin with" Now I started, I couldn't stop, it's time to give her what she needs. "The only thing in life that we own is moments yeah. This is mine. Ours" She was floored, completely taken aback.

"So, fucking what if i chuck everything else aside to have you and to have him, He is mine and you, you are mine. And I'll be damned if anyone takes that away from me" It was silent for a moment whilst she read me, looking for hesitation there was none, her lips collided with mine and we sunk into sync, it was a kiss like I'd never experienced.

"I mean it this time, let's leave" Mumbling against her parted lips as she pinched her lids shut.

"No"

"You don't mean it, come on" Resting my forehead against hers, rubbing our noses as my palms came to hold her cheeks. "You're a bad man Malfoy" Her hues met mine as they sparkled.

"The absolute worst"

"You destroyed my heart"

"Yeah? Let me fix it baby, I can do that now" Begging her to give me a chance, she pecked my lips, dragging my lower lip with her teeth. Wearing a smirk. I take that as a yes.

Coughing made us look behind to see our biggest supporters stood there, Theo, Riv, my mum who cradled her grandson with teary eyes and most surprisingly my father.

Her brother beamed for his sister, "You can't please everyone in life Ophie sometimes you have to shout fuck it I'm doing this for me and fuck it. Do it, if you want Draco, he is yours take him"

She did, she took me in sickness and in health till death do us part. Left to create more memories, raise our ever-growing family. In peace, and love. At least that's what we thought.

Seed of sins, harvested in a field so sinuous

Flourished and grown in tainted soil

Produce the most beautiful flowers.

Until someone comes to release the pesticide.

The End.

[elius-learns-to-write]

Dr Dolittle

FIRST FIC OF THE WEEK BESTIESSSSSS, I hope your Monday was absolutely splendid and if it wasn’t then treat yourself to an episode of something, a book perhaps or maybe a nice hot drink. Anyway enjoy this I know I enjoyed writing it. (also I couldn’t remember if Alpine was a boy or a girl so I went with boy). Love you all <3

You are gifted Bestie 

No literally you have the ability to talk to animals 

Being born with this power made sure your childhood was never lonely

The pebble launched across the playground as you kicked it as hard as you could. You didn’t have many friends, not because you weren’t liked, it was just that you tended to keep to yourself. So instead of playing stuck in the mud or whatever game of house the other kids had come up with you decided that kicking rocks was more fun. “What are you doing” squawked a voice, lifting your eyes up to see if you could see which one of your classmates had asked you the question, all you were greeted by was the distant squeals of children and the rock you had been about to kick. “Down here” the voice called again. Head drifting downwards you spotted a little caterpillar on one of the daisies that had popped up the week before, putting your hand out your eyes grew to be the size of flying saucers as the little creature made its way onto your hand. “Did you just speak?” you whispered in awe, gently plopping your 6 year old body onto the floor, as much as you were hoping for a reply even at 6 years old you felt a bit silly asking a caterpillar if it had been the one that asked you the question. “Yes but I’ll ask again anyway, what are you doing?”.

The caterpillar had been called Dot 

Dot hadn’t stayed very long, you were inseparable at school for about 2 weeks before they told you that they would have to go for a little while 

Sooner than you could say wow look at these daisies, Dot returned as a beautiful butterfly

And even into your teenage years you would wonder what Dot did after their transformation

Whether it was the crow that perched on the old oak tree at the start of the forest trail teaching you what berries to eat at what time of year

“No that bush to your right. RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT!” Rory squawked into your ear as you stood on an old rotting tree stumps trying to get to the berries he had instructed you to share with him. “I am trying, these logs are going to break and it’s not my fault I don’t know my left from right” you giggled, finally reaching the burning red treasures. “Silly little human” Rory muttered (well I say Muttered it was more of a shouty squawk) “silly little bird” you giggled back, hopping off the log and skipping back down the track.

Or the wise old owl who liked to tell you stories

Taking you to far off kingdoms through the magical travel of words

“And so me and Bettie flew all the way back home, love fresh in our hearts and knowledge ripe in our minds” Mary spoke, her heart warming story fluttering down to you almost as soft as her stray feathers did. You loved when she told these stories, she had a way with words that even Van Gogh wouldn’t be able to live up to the paintings she created in your mind's eye. “Tell me another one Mary, you know how much I love them” she smiled as much as an owl good and ruffled her feathers “one more child, just one”. It was never just one.

You loved it all 

So when you first met your dad Sergeant James Barnes and he asked you if you liked animals you must of talked for hours

“You have no idea” you chuckled nervously, scratching the back of your neck in an attempt to hide the nervous blush that had been covering your face since he revealed who he was. “Try me, what do you like about them” he beamed a bright smile, not the kind of smile people use to make others feel more comfortable but the type that met the eyes and made them look 10 years younger. “Okay so you know that feeling that you get when you have just woken up from a dream where you were best friends with someone even though in real life they don’t even exist?” waving your hands around animatedly like those blow up noodle men you get outside a car sales place “I can’t say I do” he replied, smiling even wider at the realisation that whatever shell you had once been wearing had finally been broken away. “Well anyway that’s what I feel every time I see a puppy trying to play catch with a stick 10 sizes too big or when a robin decides that flying beside me as I walk is better than whatever dish the forest has to offer”.

You went on and on in your explanation until he had to go back to the tower

Adding in random facts about every creature, flower, weed, leaf and rock you could

If that’s what you were like when he asked you about it 

Imagine your delight when he told you he had a cat named Alpine

And after you moved into the tower

You instantly bonded with the feline

Sharing facts and gossip about the other occupants 

“Nooooooo really?” you laughed as Alpine told you the most recent late night adventure he had caught Tony on, “yep and then when he went to close the dishwasher he lent on the top rack and it felt out, all the cups went everywhere”. 

You made sure to take a look at the security cameras and bully Tony

“Psst Alpine” you nudged the white cat as you paused The house Wives of Beverly Hills, to spill the dirt you had on vision and Wanda. “Okay fine I guess I won’t tell you what our resident toaster and wiggly woo got up too last night” you crossed your arms tight across your chest pouting at the screen until a white ball of fur jumped onto your chest nudging at your arms, eager for the news. “Fine, they came home last night from a movie night and long story short they confessed their feeling to each other over late night pancakes” you squealed rubbing your furry friend behind his ears. “EEEEEEEEK”.

As much as your dad wanted to pretend that he was jealous over how much time HIS cat spent with you 

His millions of blurry and oddly angled pictures that filled his camera roll would say otherwise

You loved animals 

You loved nature

And you loved Alpine 

You had everything you could ever want

[kieraelieson]

Three Times Patton Got Lost in a Market

Thomas was walking through the old store with his mom, careful to hold her hand while they shopped.

“Oh, look! There’s a wind chime! It’s just like the nice neighbor lady!” Patton said.

Thomas stopped to look, and his mom stopped too, looking at something else across the aisle.

“It isn’t exactly the same,” Logan said. “Hers has a hummingbird on top, but this one has a butterfly.”

“And anyway, this one has prettier colors when the light hits it,” Roman added.

“Oooh, the red really is pretty, Roman!” Patton said excitedly. “And the purple, and the yellow!”

“It’s exactly the colors of the most beautiful rainbow reflecting back from a pot of gold,” Roman said dreamily.

“Mom!” Virgil suddenly shrieked, alerting them all to the fact that Thomas’s mom was no longer beside them.

Instantly, there was a pandemonium of overlapping voices, all very confusing, and Virgil at the front screaming.

“Quiet!” Patton yelled, as loud as he could, and then felt a little like crying. He didn’t like yelling, but this was important!

“But we have to find Mom!”

“We should run after her!”

“If we yell someone will hear!”

“Listen to me!” Patton yelled again. “Remember what Mom said? If we get lost in the store we stay put, and if we see an employee then we ask them to call mom for us.”

Virgil bit down hard on his sleeves, and Patton took his silence for agreement.

“That is indeed what Thomas was told,” Logan admitted.

“I still think we should go find her!” Roman protested, though less pointedly than before.

Thomas plopped down on the floor.

“Ok. That settles it, we’re waiting for mom,” Patton said. “Let’s look for more pretty things while she comes to get us. Roman, what else can you see around us that looks like a rainbow?”

Roman grumpily crossed his arms. “There’s a rainbow on the lawn decoration.”

“Very good!” Patton said. “Logan, can you see anything that’s science-accurate?”

“Science-accurate is a very vague phrase, but I suppose you could be intending to direct me to the collection of decorative barometers.”

“Oooh~ yes, the water swan neck thingies~” Roman said.

Logan launched into an explanation of barometers, most of which Patton didn’t understand.

He checked on Virgil, who was scanning the aisle they were in over and over again, and chewing holes in his poor sleeves.

“She’ll be here in just a minute, don’t worry,” Patton said gently.

Virgil nodded slightly, but didn’t stop checking the ends of the aisle and staring down each person that passed.

And then his eyes went wide. Patton turned to look.

“Mom!”

“Thomas, I thought I lost you for a minute there! Stay close, ok?”

Thomas took his mother’s hand and nodded.

Patton let out a sigh of relief. They weren’t lost anymore.

••^*^••

Thomas was a bit worried about high school, and especially the test coming up, and Logan and Virgil were mostly helping him with that. But now he had to go to the store for groceries. And Roman was exhausted after being all excited over the play and was sound asleep.

So Patton was helping shop!

He smiled confidently, prompting Thomas to look at the list again. He needed to get the ingredients for tacos, and some bread, milk, eggs, and ice cream. Yum!

Now what all went into tacos?

There was meat, and sour cream, and little shredded lettuce, and cheese, and taco shells, or was he supposed to get soft tortillas?

Patton considered, wandering into the store towards the food. Maybe both? Yeah. Both. Oh! And there was the bread! That would probably have tortillas near it!

Patton hummed happily, finding the bread that looked the same as what mom had been getting, noting the brand name. Nature’s Own. Huh.

Now tortillas… what kind did they normally get?

He finally just picked the one that had blue on the label.

Virgil popped up, startling him for a moment, especially with his intense frown. “People are staring. We’re taking too long near the bread, and your humming is gonna make people think Thomas is weird.”

“Oh, it’s alright!” Patton said cheerfully, glad he hadn’t dropped the tortillas. “I didn’t get in anyone’s way, and they haven’t said anything yet about thinking Thomas is weird.”

“Yeah…” Virgil glared at the people milling around and shopping. “Well they could. Just… keep it quiet.”

“Will do!” Patton grinned, and Virgil sunk back out.

Next he had to find… well, next he had to find the next thing. Should he keep walking and hope to see them, or should he seek each one out? He’d stumbled upon the bread, surely he would stumble across the rest.

Patton hummed happily and kept walking, skipping along beside the cart as Thomas pushed it. Thomas must really be out of it, poor guy. But Patton could help him cheer up!

Pretty soon, they had almost everything! Except for taco seasoning. And Patton wasn’t sure if they were supposed to get the kind that was in packets, or the actual spices. And he also wasn’t sure whether he should look in the spices area or the Mexican food area. Or where those areas were.

Surely they’d passed those special Mexican drinks a while back. But where?

Patton encouraged Thomas to turn around and go back, but after several aisles he still couldn’t find anything he was looking for. He turned back around, and then again.

“Perhaps… I need to go from one end all the way to the other…”

Virgil popped up again, rather grumpy looking, but not as much as earlier. “That’s gonna take too long. We’re already late, and Mom is gonna need Thomas home son so she can make dinner.”

Patton sighed. “Ok. Logan, help please, I’m lost.”

Logan popped up, looked around, and then pointed. “That aisle.”

“But how do you know?” Patton asked.

“There’s a sign above it.”

Patton looked up. “Oh. Yeah.” He chuckled. “I should’ve thought to look for signs. Thanks, Logan!”

“You’re welcome. However I do suggest we attempt to make our trip home expedient. I’ll need Virgil’s full attention and assistance to prepare adequately for the test.”

“Will do!” Patton said, already spurring Thomas towards the aisle.

••^*^••

“I have created the ultimate maze!” Roman said excitedly. “It is called Infinite IKEA!”

Patton clapped excitedly, and even Logan gave a single clap.

“I really don’t see the point—“

“The point is a race, Emo Nightmare, and the winner gets to pick which old reruns Thomas watches tonight.”

Virgil tried to pretend he was still disinterested, but Patton could tell he was excited. “So what would we have to do to win the race?”

Roman grinned. “I’ve hidden a copy of each of our logos in the store somewhere, except for mine, which Logan hid by sinking in and placing it in a random place, so he doesn’t know the layout of the store yet. You have to find your own logo, and then exit the store!”

Oh, so that was why Logan had a bump on his head. He’d probably tried to rise up too close to a shelf. Ouch.

“Everybody ready! Set! Go!”

They all rushed into the store. Patton looked around excitedly, getting more excited to see that the store was full of items that came from houses where Thomas had lived or visited. He ran to the section of beds and flopped onto the biggest one.

He let out a comfy sigh, looking up at the roof which, rather than being metal supports and too-bright lights, was intricately painted with something that glowed.

It was amazing.

“You did a really great job, Roman,” Patton said, even though Roman was probably running ahead to win the race— oh! This was a race!

He jumped up and started walking, looking around for his heart with glasses.

After the bed section, where he wished he could stay and flip onto each one, he wandered into the lamps and chandeliers section. That was beautiful. He was still dazzled and in awe walking out. It even had that massive one Thomas had seen in the one hotel once.

And then came books, where Logan was!

“Hi, Logan!”

“Ah, greetings Patton.” Logan was looking through the books, just as captivated as Patton had been by the beds.

“Find your logo yet?”

“Not yet. I’m not overly concerned with winning, and Roman has certainly made this an interesting place to browse.”

“Mhmm!” Patton looked around. “Where are the kids books, I want to see if the Winnie the Pooh book is still chewed on or if Roman made it brand new.”

“That way, two shelves down,” Logan said, rather distracted by a book he’d picked off of the shelf.

“Thank you!”

Patton found the children’s section, and then found the book. It was still chewed on the corners. He smiled, and flipped through the thick cardboard pages. Thomas had loved this book.

And then, when he opened the last page, his logo fell out.

“Awww, look!” He picked it up, and found that it was a sticker. He promptly stuck the sticker to his chest and put the book back. Now all he had to do was find his way out!

He wandered into the next section, which was all dark and purples and blues and blacks and everything cozily packed together.

There was even a sign warning him away from certain aisles, because there would be spiders, and Patton was very glad Roman had thought of that.

And then he remembered the sunglasses stand sitting at the beginning of the lights aisle. That was probably for Virgil. Roman had been so thoughtful in building this! Patton hoped Roman would win. He certainly deserved the prize after putting all this together.

There was a whole section of Disney, all the movies, and posters, and any Disney themed toys and figurines, and even cardboard cut outs! It was lovely and chaotic and colorful, and it bridged Virgil’s section with Roman’s very well.

Roman had every single picture Thomas had ever seen, which was so many pictures!! Patton looked in awe until he realized that the paintbrushes weren’t just for show, some of them had been used. There was a little black cat in the corner of one painting, and a little V, and the paintbrush was in a cup of black water.

Patton found a picture of a field of flowers, and picked up the paintbrush, dabbing a bit of pink onto the picture. It turned instead into exactly the kind of flower Patton had been envisioning! He smiled wide and painted another, and another, and another, and each one turned out beautiful!

He ran to another painting and gave a little boy in the background a balloon and a smile. And then he gave the lady sitting in a rocking chair a baby to hold.

He finally had to stop himself. He could stay here forever, but he probably should get to the end of the store so he wouldn’t worry the others.

He got to the end of Roman’s section, only to find a massive blanket fort. He kept himself from exploring, and passed through, coming out at… the beds again?

Ohhhhh, right. It was a race and a maze.

Patton flopped down on the bed Thomas had grown up with, wrapping up in the blanket. He let out a happy sigh.

“Logan! Roman! Virgil! I’m lost! But I’m also gonna stay lost!”

Roman rose up and leaned against the footboard, a pleased smile on his face. “Enjoying the store?”

“I’m loving it!” Patton said happily, sitting up. “You did a really good job!”

Roman glowed. “I guess I’ll have to leave it up for you to wander in then. Once Virgil finds the exit I’ll put it somewhere more obvious so you can get out once you’re done.”

“Oh, did you and Logan already get out? Who won?”

“Logan, but only by a few minutes. He hid my logo in a hard place! How was I supposed to guess he’d put it under the makeup stash?”

Patton chuckled. “Wait, I didn’t see that.”

“It’s in Virgil’s section, in one of the spider aisles. I can un-spider it for you if you want.”

“Well, let Virgil have his fun first, but I’d really like that.” Patton smiled. He could have fun in here for a long time. “You did an amazing job with the paintings too! I loved those!”

Roman puffed up happily. “I did, didn’t I?”

There was a distant, triumphant, “Ha! I made it! Wait, Princey beat me? Aww.”

Patton giggled.

Roman patted his shoulder. “Have fun.”

“I will!” Patton said happily, eyeing the blanket fort which he now had time to explore.

—————

If you enjoyed, please reblog! And consider supporting me as I try to make a living off of writing 😊

[fourmarkdove]

Fawn - Part 5

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |  Part 4 |  Part 5 | Part 6 | Masterlist

Title: Fawn - Part 5

Words: 2.1k

Summary: Plans to return to your ancestral home are halted by an accident that nearly costs your life. Angst. Hurt/comfort.

Pairing: Geralt x reader

Warnings: Suicidal ideation. If you’re triggered PLEASE skip ahead. Please check out the trigger warnings (tw:) in the tags!

A/N: I appreciate you sticking with me this far. Comments welcome. Thanks for reading as always!

The crack of thunder shook you awake from a dead sleep atop Roach. You gasped, lifting your head from the bicep you’d been using as a pillow for hours and bolted upright. 

“You’re safe,” Geralt soothed in a tone so deep that you felt the sound rumble in his chest pressed against your back. He’d tucked you completely inside of his cloak with him while the rain patted rhythmically on the fabric all around you. Although it was completely dark, your cheeks were so warm and the scent of leather and him was so comforting. Closing your eyes again, you settled back and felt his thumb stroke your hip indicating that’s exactly what he wanted you to do. The gentle motion of the horse under you and how his hips rolled with yours… you wanted to think more about it but you nuzzled against his bicep and were gone again in seconds.

“What’s she doing?” Jaskier asked hours later when your head poked out of the cloak swallowing your frame. Everything was now covered in a thin layer of white as the rain turned to snow. 

Geralt cocked his head to the side, amused by your attempts to catch snowflakes on your tongue.

“So thirsty,” you choked.

“Now how is that possible?” Jaskier complained, receiving a sharp side eye from the Witcher. “I’m just saying… she’s already had yours and mine.” 

The Bard was right. But you’d also used up every last drop of fluid in your body to expel the inky poison just the day before. And the elevation change couldn’t help. 

Inhaling deeply, he caught the scent of a nearby stream and tugged on the reins toward that direction.

The moment that Roach paused, you pushed aside the black cloak. You became completely enraptured by the tinkling sound of ice forming and breaking along the banks, the gentle rush of the water flowing over well worn rocks, and the sparkle of what little light reflected across the surface. This mesmerizing scene caused you to all but launch yourself at the ground and race towards it. 

Geralt caught around your hips mid-leap and dragged you back over his thick thigh to his solid chest with a ‘thump’, nearly knocking the wind out of you.

“Let me go!” you squealed, your hands attempting to pry his solid forearm away from your ribs. 

He grunted, tugging off his cloak and wrapped it around you. He didn’t say so out loud, but he was troubled by how long you slept, how quiet. You’d been draped over his forearm all day and barely woke a couple of times in a daze mewling for water before dropping again. Admittedly, he shifted his weight in the saddle more than once just to check and see if you’d wake and we’re still breathing.

Stepping down, the Witcher led his horse to drink and then lifted you down to sit at the edge as well. 

It didn’t take but a moment for you to scramble onto your stomach and reach out to touch the water, bringing your fingertips back to taste. 

Jaskier filled his water jug and frowned. “Mm… Geralt I think your friend here is still unwell.”

Clearing his throat, Geralt refocused the gaping bard.

“So what’s the plan then? Pause a moment here? Then move on to the next town? I don’t feel much like sleeping out here tonight.”

The Witcher huffed and shook his head. “Give her a moment; then we’ll see..”

As the two men talked, they didn’t see you lean forward and stretch your neck out to drink like Roach. The cool water tasted so good going down your parched throat, you just couldn’t get enough.

With a yelp and a splash, the powdery snow gave way and you slipped right into the frigid water, dragged under with his heavy cloak gripping your neck.

“Fuck.” Geralt growled, knowing immediately what had happened even before he turned heel to run downstream. Racing ahead of you, he planted his feet in the water that didn’t reach quite over his knees and leaned way over to collect the writhing mass of arms, legs, and fabric tumbling underwater toward him.

You came up coughing and it took him a moment to figure out which end was up. “Let go of me!” you cried out, hot tears welling up, threatening to spill down your cold cheeks. 

“Hmm,” he grumped, stepping out of the cold water. Catching under your legs, he noticed the pleats of Jaskier’s borrowed pants were already beginning to freeze, stiffen, and stick to your skin. 

Standing you on a clear spot he made with his boot, his cloak dropped in a heap around your legs. You trembled uncontrollably, from the shock of nearly drowning, the frightening cold seizing your body, and terror of the scowling Witcher tearing clothes from your body for the third time in as many days.

“Jaskier. Build a fire.”

“What? Why? We are headed to the next town, remember?”

His eyes narrowed and he growled, tugging the hem of Jaskier’s borrowed tunic right up over your head. 

“She’s not going anywhere if she’s dead.”

“Alright, alright,” Jaskier sulked, turning away, beginning to collect firewood. He wasn’t too keen on staying out in the forest any longer - not when there was a warm bed and any number of supple breasts waiting for him in town. 

The Witcher looked deadly serious though, his jaw set and gold eyes alight with focus. Feeling through his bags, he retrieved one of his own black tunics.

“Take it,” he rumbled, pressing the worn fabric into your shaking hands clutching your elbows. Left shuddering, you were slow to move. Every muscle in your body ached and the cold had sucked any reserve of energy you’d gained during your long sleep.

The Witcher busied himself tearing apart firewood with his bare hands and tossing them in a pile, making Jasker’s meager armful look like kindling. He could hear your heartbeat slowing the moment he dragged you from the icy water. Even from a distance now, he could make out the faintest sound of your muscles seizing up.

With a hefty sigh, he returned to you and plucked his shirt from your frozen grasp. You’d made no progress peeling off the remainder of the icy fabric, now stiff and sticking to your tender skin.

“Come here,” he husked, bending down from behind you. The rumble of his voice so close to your neck made you gasp.

“I can do it.”

“If you could do it, you’d have done it by now.”

His large hands wrapped around your waist, pulling the fabric down your body. It was a relief to be released from the frozen solid garment and you exhaled deeply in appreciation.

Next he reached around to your belly and tugged at the frozen solid knot of your bottoms. The knot gave way in his fist and they dropped from your hips. Suddenly feeling very exposed to more than just the cold, you folded your arms across your chest like an embarrassed bride.

His black shirt dropped down over you like a sail, skimming below your knees. It was soft and surprisingly warm. As soon as your arms unfolded and slipped into the too long sleeves, he scooped you up under your knees. All you wanted to do was rest your head on his shoulder and curl up against his chest while he stroked you all over but then you remembered the violet-eyed Yennefer. And how he kept the wedding a secret. Embittered by the betrayal, you pulled away when he settled you onto the saddle blanket near the fire just flickering to life and went to repack his saddle bags.

You watched him silently, letting the warmth of the fire gradually thaw your limbs.

“I’m going hunting,” Geralt announced, returning to the flickering fire.

Sitting across from you, Jaskier rubbed his belly. “Not particularly hungry at the moment.”

You shook your head indicating you were fine too. 

He frowned sharply, disapproval furrowed his brow. Without saying a word, his attention snapped to his weapons and stalked into the woods alone.

“Did I say something wrong?” 

Jaskier’s gaze followed his friend until he was out of sight. “Wha… no. He’s just worried about you and it’s made him extra grumpy.”

By the time he returned with several large rabbits in hand, the Witcher’s cloak was tented over a low hanging branch and Jaskier sat near the fire plucking. 

Geralt nosed toward the tent before dropping heavily onto the log nearest the fire and set to work preparing the rabbits.

“She is resting,” Jaskier over-enunciated, still just shy of a whisper. “Are we done traveling for today because I sure would love the feel of a warm bed and soft thighs around my head.”

“Hmm,” he grunted. In truth, Geralt was only half listening, and more focused on turning an ear toward the makeshift tent. “When did you last look in on her?” 

His tone was threatening and it made the bard incredulous, putting his hands up. “A while I suppose? All I did was help put some stones down so it wouldn’t blow away when the wind picked up.”

Geralt huffed, nodding slightly. Still, he always heard your racing heartbeat; something felt wrong. Pinning his knife in the log where he sat, he lifted heavily and crunched through the dusting of snow accumulating around the campsite.

“Jaskier!” he bellowed, tearing down his cloak, revealing only his saddle and empty blankets.

“Listen, Geralt, I swear I didn’t know,” he pleaded, following the seething silent witcher. “How can I help? What should I do?”

“Jaskier - you’ve done enough. Go into town like you planned.”

The Wolf followed your boot prints in the muddy snow until there were no more feet to follow. Fortunately, he recognized your scent trail wafting along the underbrush. Stalking in stealth behind you, it didn’t take long to catch up.

Wielding his silver knife overhead, an otherworldly shriek escaped your lips as you dived onto the Drowner, slicing into its sickly flesh. 

He dashed forward into the fray as a second and third, escaping your notice, heaved themselves onto shore. 

Once the fallen creature lay hissing, you leapt atop its writhing body, pinning it to the ground between your knees, and gripped the stolen blade you’d concealed in your boot. 

Dispatching both deadly creatures quickly with his heavy sword, his hair spun like a riptide about his face as he looked for you in the near dark. 

A gasping shriek from the nightmare fodder pinned under his fawn gave way to slick, gouging sounds as you mangled the putrid flesh over and over until you were breathless.

Catching your hand, he pried the blood slick blade from your grasp. Ripping your slippery hand from his yielding grip, you leaned over your gaping kill and released a soul wrenched, hate-filled scream.

Geralt gripped under your arms and dragged you away from the water's edge. Collapsing back against an oak tree with you barely contained in his constantly readjusting grasp, he exploded in anger.

“What the fuck are you doing out here?! That fucking thing could have killed you. Stop - Stop struggling and answer me!”

Letting out a howl more feral than alliterative, you squirmed and elbowed his ribs as hard as you could. 

He easily overwhelmed your attempt to flee and flexed his arms around your body, dragging your back to the solid wall of his chest. Panting, nearly breathless yourself, he gripped you tight and stroked back the hair clinging to your sweaty brow; you relented more out of pure exhaustion than anything else, letting your head willfully dip back against his shoulder.

He frowned severely, glancing side eyed at you as you trembled with every breath and clung onto the forearm pressed across your breasts. 

“What. Happened,” he rumbled, dropping his voice to a more intimate tone.

Your head rolled slightly on his shoulder, licking your dry lips. “I don’t know.”

“Why do you have my knife? You’ve told me how nervous they make you.”

Releasing the grip of the mud underfoot, you began to rest your weight back against him. Feeling your clammy forehead against his cheek, he sighed. And waited.

“I was going to end it, Geralt. Right here by the water. I want to be swept away.”

Jaw clenched, he fought the immediate eruption of rage threatening to explode deep in his belly. 

“But those things appeared and ruined that moment in time when I was at peace with the idea. I got so angry because I was ready but they took it from me. Finally a decision all my own and it was taken.”

“Despair is an ugly look on you,” he seethed through clenched teeth.

Conceding to his blunt objectiveness, you wilted. “Unwanted daughter… Bride. Whore. What else do I have to hide my shame if not despair?”

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |  Part 4 |  Part 5 | Part 6 | Masterlist

[mikoobun]

i love you, will you marry me?

    SPOILERS FROM CHAPTER 132 OF ATTACK ON TITAN BELOW

You were numb.

You couldn’t feel or hear anything.

You knew the Colossal Titans stormed on toward you and the members of whoever was left of the Survey Corps; how could you not? You just couldn’t comprehend this moment. 

Here, where your love said her final goodbyes.

Your throat burned and you could feel your damn brain pulsing against your skull as she spoke. You clenched your fists tightly, drawing blood in your fists.

You noticed one thing.

Why wouldn’t she look at you?

You swallowed thickly, forcing yourself to wipe the tears from your red eyes.

“Hanji-” You began. Your voice had turned coarse.

“Goodbye everyone,” Hanji said, speaking over you. She seemed to be strangely satisfied with her fate. Her farewell was a stark contrast to the horrified expressions around her. 

Hanji’s eyes floated among everyone in the group; Levi, Jean, Armin, Connie, Mikasa, Annie and Reiner.

But she wouldn’t even glance at you. 

You; the one who’d been by her side long enough that losing her would mean losing a great part of your soul.

Confusion mixed with anger bubbled in your chest.

“Hanji-” You began again, louder this time, only to be ignored again.

“Levi is now your subordinate,” Hanji announced to the youngers, with her back turned to you, in something like a joking tone. “So feel free to boss him around as you wish.”

Your face darkened. Fresh tears ran down your cheeks as your fists subconsciously clenched again. Levi noticed your blatant irritation, pursing his lips tightly.

Why was she doing this? Why was she ignoring you? 

Would she truly leave you alone without saying goodbye?

Without a word, you narrowed your teary eyes and marched behind Hanji. You roughly grabbed your love’s arm. “Hanji,” This time, your voice cracked horribly and you let your tears flow freely. “Hanji, I know you hear me.”

A moment passed before Hanji sighed quietly.

The brunette turned to face you. Your expression softened immediately. Hanji’s beautiful brown eyes were equally as anguished and tearful as yours, if not then more. Her entire face was red, and her olive cheeks were soaked with tears.

“Hanji,”

On this day, 6 Years into the Past

“Y/N!”

What the hell? 

Your eyes twitched, but you kept them closed.

“Y/NNNN!”

Is that Hanji?

You groaned a little, lazily flopping your arm in the direction of all the chaos.

Hanji crossed her arms and pouted. “Why. Won’t. You. Wake. Up,” Hanji poked your face with a pen, emphasizing every word she murmured. Much to her surprise, you actually responded back this time.

“Maybe because you’re screaming in my ears.”

Sure, your response was sarcastic and barely audible due to your face being pressed into a pillow, but it was still something.

Hanji smiled brightly. “Oh, so you were awake,”

You groggily sat up and rubbed your eyes, which were still growing acquainted to the bright morning light. “I suppose so,” You mumbled, yawning. Hanji noticed the tone of slight irritation in your voice. After all, she did tear you away from sleep. Very loudly, at that.

Before you could process it, Hanji, in her spirited nature, grabbed your face with both hands and pressed a quick peck to your lips.

“Good morning, my love.” 

Her beautiful smile shone brighter than the sun abusing your poor eyes.

Your face softened, and soon you found yourself giggling. You decided to let go of your little grudge.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

__

The day had gone on as usual. You’d spent your days in the military assisting your love in her lab, which you could only describe as a dream job. Every day was a new adventure with Hanji, and you would never have it any other way. Lately, Hanji had been cooped up in her lab for longer periods of time; forgetting to eat, drink, and sometimes even forgetting to sleep. Luckily she had you, her assistant and her lover, to make sure she was properly taken care of.

As the day neared its end, you walked through the hallway leading up to Hanji’s door, balancing a full plate of food in one hand, and a cup of hot tea in the other. 

“Hanji,” You called. “Open up.”

CRASH!

A deafening yell and a number of crashes and thuds boomed as your response.

You flinched so hard that you almost dropped everything in your grasp.

What in God’s name just happened in there?

“H-Hanji?” You said again.

 No response.

Your eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Hanji, I’m coming in now.”

“N-No!” Hanji’s muffled voice hollered. “Don’t come in here!”

“Yeah, why not?” You asked. “I brought you food.”

“Really? I can only imagine where I’d be without you,” She gushed, then paused. “B-But still! Don’t come in here!”

You rolled your eyes. Whatever she was worried about couldn’t have been that bad. You’ve seen it all when it comes to your wacky genius. “I’m coming in now.” You ignored her protests and turned the doorknob handle.

You swung open the mahogany door, setting the food down on the nearest table. You scanned the room. Hanji’s lab was overall in order, but her desk was a nightmare. Papers were sprawled along the floor, empty cups were broken and Hanji stared at you with a nervous smile. Her hands were hidden behind her back.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

“Hanji,” You sang, slowly walking toward her. “What’s behind your back?”

Hanji stepped back with every step you took forward.

She gulped. “I.. Well, you..”

 You could see her eyes shooting back and forth between you and the open door behind you both. 

Oh no, you don’t-

Hanji launches herself toward the door, cackling wildly. “If you want to see it, I suppose you’ll have to chase me!” 

You found yourself smiling to yourself at the laughing fool. You ran after your crazy woman with the same reckless abandon.

You two passed your subordinates, as well as Captain Levi and Commander Erwin who looked at you two with complete confusion written into their faces.

“I don’t even want to know,” Erwin sipped his tea. Levi shook his head. “The less time we spend trying to understand those two, the more time we get to function.” And the two went back to talking about whatever they were talking about.

You and Hanji found yourselves running the streets of the town under the blanket of the night sky. Internally you thanked whoever heard you that you were in such good shape from even being in the military; you’d chased her a pretty far distance before you felt yourself starting to become exhausted.

“Hanji,” You huffed, slowing down. 

“What is it,” You heard Hanji tease. She was starting to slow down too, but she made sure she was out of your reach. “Running out of breath already?” 

“Just tell me what’s in your hand!”

With no response, Hanji turned a sharp corner. You groaned to yourself and decided to stop chasing her. You were sweating like hell, and you were huffing and puffing like a crazy person. You were sure you looked like one, too. You rested your hands on your knees, and looked around for somewhere to rest. Your eyes fell upon a spare wooden box in a dark, crooked alleyway. It wasn’t the prettiest-in fact it was a little creepy- but you only wanted to sit and catch your breath for a moment.

You sat on the box and rested your back on the brick wall, feeling yourself become wearier as time went on. Your eyes began to slowly close when-

“Y/N,” A velvety voice called above you. 

A warm cloak fell lightly upon your resting shoulders. You opened your E/C eyes and saw the soft grin of your love herself.

Hanji sat next to you and pulled your tired head onto her shoulders. “I was looking for you everywhere.”

“Was I out for that long?” You mumbled tiredly, inhaling her sweet, intense scent. You closed your eyes once more, but you weren’t asleep.

“No,” Hanji hummed. “But you were gone long enough to make me think.”

You remained silent, listening to her soft words.

“You’re still wondering I was holding in my hand, aren’t you?” Hanji brushed your hair with her fingers. You nodded.

“It’s a.. Well..” She fumbled over her words, and began to play with her hands. You peered up to see her face heating up.

You were confused. What could it have been? Then you wondered if you were pressing her too much.

“Hanji, its okay,” You started. “You don’t have to tell-”

Hanji cleared her throat. 

“I’ll put it plainly, its a ring.”

.  .  .

A ring?

Your lips parted ever so slightly. Your eyes were wide. “A ring?” You repeated your thoughts. “Hanji, does this mean you want to-”

“Yes,” Hanji was beaming now, but not at you. She had her starry eyes in the sky, while her arm pulled you close.

“Truth be told, want to spend the rest of my life with you,” Hanji began whimsically. “I’ve been working on making it for you for a while now.”

Suddenly it all made sense to you. The sleepless nights, the skipping meals. 

Had it had all been for you?

Your eyes filled with warm tears. Hanji’s delicate fingers lightly brushed them away.

“I want to show it to you,” She revealed a cloth in her palms, in the outline of a finger band. “But I can’t. At least right now I can’t.”

“Why is that?” You asked.

She turned to face you, wonder in her brown eyes. “I want to wait until the world is ours,” She exclaimed.

“When the titans are gone and remembered as societies nightmare, we can live together as a bickering old couple. I want to marry you so, so badly Y/N, but I want to do it right. I want to do it when this world is at peace. I want to die knowing I’m married to Y/N L/N.”

She grasped your hands tenderly within her own. Hanji stared into your emotional E/C eyes, with her own beautiful brown ones.

“What do you say, Y/N? Would you marry me?”

__

Present Day

“Hanji,”

Hanji swallowed the bile that burned the back of her throat. She tried so hard to avoid looking directly into your pained expression. Hanji absolutely hated hurting you like this.

As much as she wanted these final moments to last, she felt the rumble of titans approaching.

 She had to make this quick, and she hated it.

“Y/N,”

Hanji breathed shakily. With a quivering hand, she reached into her dark green cloak, watching as your red eyes trailed her every move.

“I hope that someday,” She inhaled sharply. “Someday, you can forgive me for what I’m about to do,”

Hanji’s fate was sealed, yet she kept that damn smile on her face as she spoke. Your heart pounded in your ears as Hanji finally approached you. She grasped both of your hands in hers, just like she’d done on that day.

“Y/N L/N,” She announced.

“I love you. Will you marry me?”

Your eyes widened. Your mouth fell slightly agape. 

No... This isn’t how it was supposed to happen...

You nodded, as if you were entranced. “Yes,” You mumbled breathily.

Hanji’s grin only spread across her whole face as she pulled you into a tight embrace. Hanji nuzzled her face into your neck. She was wetting it with tears, but you didn’t care. You tried so hard to take in and remember as much of her scent in as you could. You knew you would never smell it again.

“Thank you,” Her small voice whispered into your ear. “Thank you for everything.”

Soon, Hanji pulled away, but not before leaving a small peck atop of your lips.

And even as you screamed and cried and begged Hanji not to go,

even as Jean held you back from chasing your crazy scientist into the death mission,

Hanji smiled to herself as the world of Titans around her began to fade.

She’d finally gotten to do what she’d always wanted to.

__

You hadn’t even realized your palm was still closed from when Hanji had held you. You felt something cold within your fist. Cracking open your hands, your eyes brimmed, and your throat knotted at what you had saw.

A silver and gold ring.

___________

this is my first story in a while :))) i hope you enjoyedd- nila