#love my family but i can’t be in the car with them xox

[fridayiminlovemp3]

i now sentence you to 20 minutes in the car with your family

[skullrock]

the (fake) date

pairing: Steve x Reader

summary: In an attempt to avoid Keith’s advances, you tell him you’re going out with Steve. Steve makes that a reality.

word count: 2.4k

warnings: none!!

a/n: first oneshot in months!!! wooo!!! this includes Steve being scared of haunted houses xox

===

Every week, you had to feed Keith another lie as to why you couldn’t go on a date with him.

You could have simply told him you weren’t interested, but he was your boss, and you were worried that letting him down harshly would have consequences. It wasn’t like there were a plethora of jobs in Hawkins once the mall burned down; Family Video was all you had. Family Video and your creepy, weird boss that always carried a bag of Cheetos with him.

You’d say just about anything to get him off your back - that you were busy with school, or you had plans with family, or you were sick. Anything to get him to walk away. You even spent a week trying to make yourself look sick - sunken and dark undereyes, hardly combed hair. It was so convincing that Steve walked up to you and put his hand against your forehead to feel for a fever.

“Not sick,” you told him.

“You look like hell,” he said, brows furrowed.

“That’s very sweet,” you said, and continued to the back room to sort tapes.

But this week, you were out of ideas. You didn’t know what to tell him.

“Friday, you and me?” Keith asked, hand sunken into a bag of Cheetos. “We can go to a haunted house.”

“Oh, I can’t,” you say weakly.

“What’s got you so damn busy this week?”

You searched your brain for any kind of excuse before blurting out, “I’m going to one with Steve.”

The Cheeto bag fell from Keith’s hand.

As if on cue, Steve comes out from the back room and promptly trips on his own feet, slamming into the counter. He smiles dorkily at you before moving to the other side of the counter to help a customer.

“You’re going out with Harrington?” Keith was practically seething.

“Yeah,” you say quickly, turning to watch Steve. “I am.”

Keith scoffs and walks away, dejected and pissed that Harrington won again, mumbling something about how he shouldn’t have hired him.

You lean against the counter, letting out a breath you were holding. Close call.

You thought that was the end of it - but Keith, of course, brings this up again, and in front of Steve this time.

“How long have you been seeing each other?”

“Couple weeks,” you say, while Steve stands on the other side of Keith, confused.

“Wh-“ Steve starts, but you look at him with pleading eyes, and it clicks with him.

“Yeah,” he says, recovering. Steve steps closer to you and wraps his hands around your waist, pulling you into him. You pray that you’re not blushing too noticeably. “Yeah, since September 28th.”

Keith scoffs. “No PDA in the store, Harrington.”

Steve shrugs and lets you go. “Sorry, Keith. Can’t keep my hands off of them.”

Keith points a dust-covered finger at Steve. “Hands to yourself.” He leans back just slightly. “We have a form you need to fill out if you’re dating. Saves the company’s ass if something goes wrong.” He produces the papers from his back pocket and slams them onto the counter. “Fill ‘em out. I want them by your next shift.” He shoots Steve another hard glare before stalking off, out the front door.

Silence.

You grab the papers and fold them, shoving them into your own back pocket and attempting to walk away.

“Wait,” Steve says, gently taking your arm. “We gonna talk about this?”

You freeze.

Steve had been your crush since forever. You were always in love with him - when he was a dorky 7th grader, when he was an asshole junior, and now as a dorky young man. But you’d sunken into a beautiful friendship with him that you absolutely weren’t willing to throw away over dumb feelings.

“You know Keith.” You try to sound nonchalant. “He keeps asking me out on dates.”

A sudden jealousy hits Steve right in the gut, but he swallows it down.

“And he wouldn’t leave me alone. So I … I told him that we were seeing each other.”

Steve blinks.

Steve coincidentally has also been into you. Maybe not as long, but just as deep. And he’d be damned if he ever tried telling you that. So if he has to pretend to date you to get close to the real thing, he’ll do it.

“Oh, God, please don’t be mad -“ you begin, but he cuts you off.

“I’m not mad,” he says. “No. No. I’m not mad. We should have done this sooner.”

You blink.

“Because - so that - he would have left you alone sooner,” he clarifies, shifting, putting his hands in his back pockets. “You know.”

“You don’t have to -“

“I want to,” he says, then shakes his head a bit. “I mean - not like, I want to be your boyfriend - or anything weird -“

“I get it,” you say, a bit crushed but happy that he’s not pissed and is willing to go along with you. “I told him we were going to a haunted house this Friday.”

“Well, maybe we should,” Steve suggests. “You know - so we seem like a real couple.”

You blush deeply and look away, busying yourself with a random piece of paper on the counter. “Yeah, that would be fun. Or - the house would be fun -“

“I get it,” he says. He leans his back against the counter and watches your fingers play with the paper, smiling softly as he does. “Should I pick you up at seven?”

“Sounds good,” you say, trying to sound casual, but your heart was about to hammer out of your chest.

So was Steve’s.

===

As it would turn out, Steve hates haunted houses.

Every sound makes him shake, and his teeth chatter loudly as you move through the rooms. Steve tries to laugh off his fright, but he gets more worked up as it goes on. After all he’s been through, something like this shouldn’t make him so scared - but it sends him into a near panic attack.

And he feels so stupid, because you’re taking the frights like a champ, laughing at the masks and costumes and guiding Steve along. You willingly hold his hand and help him through the rooms, never once making fun of him for being scared. Steve thinks he probably looks like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo, and it makes him want to drop to the floor and die.

“This is bullshit,” he mumbles, holding onto you for dear life as actors walk around you.

“What’s bullshit?” you ask, laughing and blushing, holding his hand tightly. “They aren’t real, Steve.”

Steve runs a sweaty palm through his hair. “Yeah, yeah, I know -“

A person in a mask jumps out randomly and Steve shouts, “Jesus!”

It’s very endearing in an odd way.

“You hate this,” you declare over the loud and obnoxious sound effects. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Thank God,” Steve says hoarsely, and allows you to guide him to the exit.

Outside, Steve takes in large gulps of hair, keeping watch for any monsters - or humans. You rub his back soothingly, and he wipes his palms on his jeans.

“Gross,” he groans. “I didn’t know - ugh, you had to hold these -“

“I don’t care,” you say, and that settles it.

“This might sound crazy,” he says as you both head for his car, “but I’ve never actually been to one of these before.”

“You haven’t?” You’re shocked. “And how many dates have you been on? A thousand?”

Steve glares at you in his periphery. “No. Doesn’t matter. Point is, I’ve never been to a haunted house before.”

“Glad I was there for your first time,” you say, and Steve’s happy you were there, too.

When you approach his car, you realize you’re both still holding hands, and you pull your hand away quickly. Steve frowns.

“Sorry,” you say.

“For what?”

“Holding your hand for so long.”

“Didn’t bother me.”

You pause, studying his face. He looks warm, a slight smile on the edge of his lips, shoulders relaxed, almost leaning towards you but not quite.

You continue looking at each other for a few moments, trying to decipher each other. Finally, Steve whispers, “I’m still scared, you know.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he confirms, and holds his hand out to you. “I think you should hold it again.”

You blush and smile. “Let’s get in the car.”

Steve practically sprints to his side, then runs back to get your door for you. He tucks you inside, then runs back to his side. In his head, he gives himself a pep talk, tries to remember how to be flirty and smooth. But Steve Harrington doesn’t know how to be suave, not anymore, and maybe that’s not really a bad thing. Steve quickly puts his seatbelt on and then reaches over the center console, taking your hand in his.

“It’s still sweaty,” you say, quietly, a lame attempt at a joke.

“That didn’t bother you before,” Steve says, smiling slightly.

The look he’s giving you is so sweet and pure that you almost want to run out of the car. Or lean forward and kiss him. Or maybe both.

And even though you’re both holding hands and very obviously pining, neither of you actually know what this means. Steve has hope in his aching chest that maybe this is almost a real date under the premise of being a fake one. You have hope that it is, too. But neither of you know how to breach the topic, and after some lingering looks, Steve starts to drive. His right hand is still laced in your left, tightly, almost afraid that you’d let him go.

“Where to?” he asks. “It’s only nine.”

You desperately try to think of something to do, anything to keep him with you for a little while longer. “I- horror movies?”

Steve can’t help the laugh that bubbles from his chest. “I don’t do super well with those, either.”

“King Steve!” you say, faking a scandalized tone. “You telling me you hate horror flicks?”

“Can’t stand ‘em,” he says, absentmindedly squeezing your hand. “They make me jump.”

“How high?”

A childish giggle comes from him. “At least five feet.”

“I’d like to see it.”

“Too bad,” he smiles, glancing over to you. Then he gasps. “Oh, I know a place!”

===

As it would turn out, the quarry is a perfect place for a chilly October night.

It’s scary, but not too scary. It’s more so serene and beautiful, and the moon casts a silver glow onto the water and trees. You and Steve lean against the front of his car, hands to yourself, as you watch the surroundings.

“You scared?” he asks suddenly.

You laugh. “No. Are you?”

“No.” A pause. “You just - you seem like you’re shaking.”

“I’m just cold.” You wrap your arms around yourself for some warmth. “I don’t know why I thought a thin sweater -”

Steve scoots beside you and takes his jacket off - the infamous Members Only one, which he insists to Robin is made with the very threads of good luck - and he wraps it around your shoulders. You slink into yourself, smiling coyly at him and he secures it onto your frame.

“Better?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you whisper. “Thank you.”

Steve nods and smiles down at you. The moon hits the left side of his face and illuminates his features, and you hold yourself back from tucking a stray hair behind his ear.

“What about you?” you ask. “Aren’t you cold now?”

“A little,” he admits. “I’ll be okay.”

You don’t believe him. You wrap your arm around him and pull him in closely, and his hair flops over his forehead as he leans into your side. His arm snakes around your waist and you feel frozen in time, like nothing could ever be this perfect, like you never want it to end.

“What are we doing?” you whisper after a moment.

Steve smiles. “If you ask me, I think we’re on a date.”

You blush against Steve’s shoulder and he can feel the heat through his shirt.

“Yeah?” you ask. “A fake one or a real one?”

Steve swallows hard, contemplating his answer. “Seems… seems like a real one to me.”

You look up at him at the same time he looks down at you and your noses almost brush together. Steve’s eyes trail down to your lips and he leans forward a microscopic amount, his arm still tight around your waist. You look away before he can close the gap, and his shoulders slump just slightly.

“I think it seems like a real one, too,” you say, voice cracking from nerves.

There’s a moment of silence before Steve whispers, “Hey.”

You look at him and there’s no time to contemplate.

Steve’s lips are warm and soft, tasting vaguely like cherry chapstick and Coca-Cola. They move against yours slowly, and although the kiss feels like a minute, it only lasts a fleeting moment before he pulls back, gauging your reaction.

“Is that… cherry chapstick?” It’s all you can think to say.

“Cherry Coke,” he corrects. “L-Lipsmacker.”

A slow smile breaks out over your face. “I have the same one.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You smile wider. “Maybe you should taste it on me sometime.”

Steve melts into you, pulling you closer to him. “I think you taste just fine without it.”

Your lips meet again and time stands still once more. Steve’s warm hand cups your face as he pulls you in, and your thumb traces his cheekbone. You’d never felt so alive and lucky as the cold October air picks your hair up and blows it around you.

Steve leans his forehead against yours as he breaks the kiss again. You remain there for a while, thanking the universe for your luck.

Steve thanks his jacket, and, oddly, Keith.

“Hope you kept those papers,” Steve mumbles.

You laugh. “I did.”

“Good,” he smiles, his breath tickling your nose. “Because I think we’ll need to sign them.”

===

taglist (join here!) @harrington-ofhawkins @comedy-witch @gothackedalready @wolfish-willow @sassisaluxury @willowrose99 @harringtown @write-from-the-heart @m-blasterrr @whimsicalwoodlands @anerroroccurrrrred @the-almond-dinger @ssanjuniperoo @darth-el @kurtsbuckethat @yall-wildin-like-siriusly @astil-be @troop-scoop @ilovebucketbarnes @mybestfriendthedingus @unknownherelm @metuel18 @magnitude101999 @simplesammyx @lukeskisses @charmedtenderness @stevenismyboy @dungeons-and-demodogs​ @scoopsahcy @strangest-hour @lucifer-reads @stevexscoops​ @prettysbliss @patientplum @theworriedman

[ketamineharry]

Mad - Harry Lewis

Requested: No

Trigger Warning: Death (sorry, had to go back to my routes loves xox)

Screaming and shouting had become the normality in your household, ever since you had given birth to your four year old son, Dylan. Which was a vast contrast to what you had expected and wanted for the family life you had envisioned. Your worst fear was that Dylan would grow up thinking that this was a normality that he could adapt to his own family; or worse, resent you both for it. The easiest solution was for you and Harry to go your separate ways, but, you couldn’t do that, in spite of all the arguments you still loved him with every ounce of your being.

You both chose to take the hard path every day. You refused to argue in front of Dylan, but sooner or later he would catch on to the hostile environment. Yes, he was only four, but he was still very intelligent and hyper aware of the things going on around him. The silly thing was, sometimes there’d be days, while he was at nursery where you and Harry didn’t utter a word to each other — because it just ended up in an argument. Even something as simple as asking for the television remote would end up in screaming matches, that neither of you would back down from. Whether that was due to pride, or something entirely different, you weren’t sure.

One such argument had ensued when you had asked Harry to go and pick Dylan up from nursery. You had thought it wasn’t much, considering you had been preparing dinner for the three of you.

“I picked him up yesterday, can’t you go?” He scoffed, eyes glued to his fifa game, not even daring to glance at you.

“Incase you haven’t noticed Harry, but while you sit there and you’re paid to play your computer games… the adults in this house have to cook, clean and look after our son. That’s without the hours I have to spend at work.”

“Yeah, you go to work. But I’m the one that brings the most money in. So it’s only fair that you go and pick up Dylan.” He responded, still not giving you the respect to look at you.

“You know what, you’re a selfish prick.” You commented, as you unplugged the PlayStation. “I don’t half fucking hate you sometimes… it would just be nice to bring up one child not two. Please can you just go and pick him up?” You asked, as the frustration of the situation hit you.

“Fine.” He huffed, as he picked up his phone and his keys, leaving the house. Slamming the door shut behind him.

You decided to make a simple spaghetti bolognese for dinner, as it was Dylan’s favourite and wouldn’t take you long to prepare. You started off by boiling the pasta and chopping onions and the various other vegetables you wanted to include. Getting yourself in a routine so that hopefully dinner wouldn’t be too long after Dylan and Harry returned back home.

—

It had been around half an hour since Harry had left and he still hadn’t returned. Considering that the school was within walking distance, it was quite a worry for you. Not enough for you to call him and find out what was going on — but enough for you to notice it.

The sound of your ringtone though, with Harry’s name and picture displayed on the screen — was worrying. You quickly answered, pressing the phone to your ear.

“Hello.” You said, a slight annoyance to your voice.

“Mummy?” It was Dylan. The worry just increased even more. Especially considering the worry in his little voice. “It’s daddy, he got hurt by a car.” He explained, as he tried his best to stay calm.

His voice, although innocent, hit you like a slap in the face. You weren’t quite sure how to process what he was telling you.

“Ok baby, where are you?” You asked, as you tried to match the level of calmness that he had. Too young and innocent to really process what could be happening.

“We are near the park.”

The park was just at the end of your road. Idyllic you thought, for raising a family as your children would never be too far away from a slide or a swing.

“Darling, I need to call the people that are going to be able to help daddy. So mummy needs to go for a little while. Keep talking to daddy about your dinosaurs and I’ll be with you soon.” You said, as you hung up the phone.

Your hands shook as you dialled the emergency services. Hastily informing them of the situation, as you left the house. Running as fast as your legs would carry you, feet pounding on the tarmac as you raced to the end of the road.

The scene of devastation getting clearer the nearer that you got. You pushed through the crowd that had begun to form, desperate to get to your little family. You found Dylan perched on the edge of the pavement, still holding onto Harry’s hand. Talking to him about triceratops. Harry’s face was covered in blood, as was Dylan’s uniform.

“I’m here.” You said, bending down to both of them. You tried your best to hold back the tears for Dylan’s sake. But the more that you looked at what was going on around you, the harder that was becoming.

“You need to look after Dylan for me. Make sure he knows what a strapping young donny his dad was.” He mumbled, his voice weak.

“Don’t be so silly! We’re gonna stop all of the stupid shit and be a normal family again. You’re going to show him just how incredible you are, yourself.” You whispered, allowing a few tears to fall, but you made sure to wipe them away before Dylan could see.

Harry laughed, spluttering as he did. As he coughed up some blood.

“The impact was pretty big… the car was going to hit Dylan and I couldn’t face that. I knew my life wouldn’t be worth living, so I took the impact. Nothing is worth our boy.” He explained.

“You are the bravest, most selfless man I’ve ever met.” You said, leaning down to place a soft kiss on his lips.

You both exchanged I love you’s, before his eyes fluttered shut. You took Dylan’s hand and left the scene. Not wanting him to experience any more of this than he really needed to.

As you got back into your house, you heard the bleating sirens of the ambulance. They were far too late. By the time that they got there, the love of your life and the father of your child, had gone.

[masterxofalternative]

Hello and welcome, I hope everyone is having a good day/afternoon/evening! Get ready for some random, weird, and sometimes deep (and hopefully fun?) content. I wanted to come here to talk about something really important, but before I continue, I’m putting a trigger warning here as this may contain sensitive topics etc.

So this evening I watched (admittedly binge-watched and no, I have no shame) Love Victor which is a Love Simon tv show spin-off/sequel for those of you that don’t know. And yes, this seems like a random thing to say but it got me thinking. I am definitely really happy that the LGBTQIA+ community are finally getting representation, but I have seen some tv shows and movies with LGBTQIA+ content in them, and they haven’t been represented correctly and I’ve even seen some that have been offensive (and have contained a lot of cliches). But what I love the most about Love Simon (the book and the film) and Love Victor is how real and truthful it is. And it mainly focuses around coming out and the struggles that LGBTQIA+ people have faced, and still face today.

The entire film, book and tv show hit hard for me. And what I love the most about films and tv shows is when you can relate and connect to the characters. And for Love Simon and Love Victor, I can relate to both. Now this is going to get really deep for a second here so consider this to be another trigger warning. I am bisexual, and I live with my parents who claim that they aren’t homophobic, but it’s different when it comes to me. They also constantly make homophobic jokes, and they get mad when I tell them that they can’t be saying stuff like that. Luckily, my dad was really chill about it when I came out to him, but my mum was a different story. One day when I was in the car with my mum, I decided to come out to her and because they claimed that they aren’t homophobic (and also because we have gay friends and family), I thought it would be okay. But I was wrong. My mum actually told me that she thought I was lying about my sexuality because all of my celebrity crushes and most of my relationships are/were men. And to anyone who agrees with that, just because someone is bisexual but (so far) have only dated one gender, that doesn’t mean that they don’t like both genders. I actually prefer women, but I haven’t found the right woman to date yet, and I’ve had relationships with girls that I’ve had to hide because I feared what my parents would say and how they would react.

Anyway, to bring this to a conclusion, there’s family members and friends that I still haven’t come out to because I don’t know what to say or how to do it, and I’m also still scared. And that’s alright, it’s alright to be scared. Coming out is scary because you can’t choose how other people are going to react. So basically the moral of the story is, be kind to others because you never know what someone is going through. Coming out is scary, but remember that you are loved, and that there are people that will and do accept you for who you are, so don’t change yourself for anyone. Don’t rush things, take things slowly if you need to because I had to come out before I was ready to, so please don’t do that if you can. And remember that love is love.

If I receive any homophobic or offensive comments, you will be blocked and reported immediately. I also won’t tolerate any type of harassment or bullying, it doesn’t matter whether it’s towards me or someone else, I won’t stand for something like that. But to anyone who wishes to write comments on here, please feel free to do so! ~ S xox

[bxcketbarnes]

Part of the Family

Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader

Words: 2000+

Author's Note: I love this picture of Cal. He's so fucking handsome I cry. So, @mysticalhood and I came up with this fluffy ass concept. Enjoy! xox

I was laying my head on Calum's lap, his fingers gliding through my hair as he was surfing through the countless movies on Netflix. I sigh contently, shifting a bit so I'm lying on my side, my hand resting on his knee. "What are you doing for the holidays?" I ask him, keeping my eyes on the screen.

"I planned to go back home for like a week," Calum answers and I turn back to face him, seeing his brown eyes already on me. "I actually wanted to ask you if you wanted to come with me."

"Are you serious?" I question him, sitting up from his lap. Calum chuckles and nods his head. "I mean… is your family going to be okay with that? I don't wanna intrude by you bringing some stranger int-"

"You're not a stranger, Y/N/N," he cuts me off and I look up at him, seeing a slight frown on his lips. I shift in my seat, my knee pressed against the outside of his thigh and he reaches over to grab my hand. "You're my best friend. Someone I confide in when I feel like I can't tell the guys or my family. You're definitely my rock. Plus, they know about you. Well, Mali does anyway."

I blush at Cal's little confession, even though my chest tightens at the words best friend since I'm pretty sure I'm in love with the dork. I shift forward, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I'm so glad we found each other," I whisper and Calum's arms wrap around my waist. "You're probably the most real friend I've ever had."

Cal chuckles and runs his hands up my back. "So?" He mumbles into my ear before pulling away from me. "Will you come home with me?"

A snort leaves my lips and he groans, tilting his head back. "Sorry, sorry," I laugh and cover my mouth with my hand, trying to hold the giggles in.

"I didn't mean it like that!" He defends and I wiggle my eyebrows at him, shifting my body again so I'm straddling his lap.

"Are you sure? I mean, technically you already took me home since I've been here for like two days," I tell him jokingly and Calum shakes his head, resting his hands on my hips.

The blue-haired man looked up at me as his head stayed pressed against the back of the couch. "You willingly stayed for two days," he counters and I giggle, biting my bottom lip.

"Well, I happen to enjoy your company… and your dog of course," I mentioned Duke and Calum rolls his eyes, a smile forming on his lips.

"You're so cute," he chuckles and moves his hands to my thighs. "Can you answer my question for real now?"

I smile softly, nodding my head. "Of course I'd love to go to Australia with you, Cal. As long as your family is okay with it," I tell him while running my hands over his buzzed hair. Calum squeezes my thighs, the smile staying on his lips.

"Of course they're okay with it. I asked them about it a couple of weeks ago. They're pretty excited," he mentions and I smile down at him.

"As they should be. Since, ya know, I'm amazing," I joke and flip my hair back.

"I hate you," Calum jokes while laughing loudly, moving me off of his lap. I giggle, sitting back down beside him as I rest my head on his shoulder.

"No, you don't," I state and Cal hums in agreement, his arm draping over my shoulder.

"You're right, I don't."

-

My eyes were glued to the passenger side window as Calum drove the rental car through Sydney. I was in absolute awe at the scenery in front of me since I've never been to the country of Australia. "Holy shit this view!" I screech a bit, feeling giddy in my seat and look over to Calum.

"I knew you'd love it," he gloats and I roll my eyes, slapping the back of my hand on his chest. "Agh! Y/N, I'm driving!" Calum looks over at me for a quick second, his eyes wide while he rubs his hand on his chest.

"Sorry, but you slightly deserve it."

"How?! I just knew you'd love Australia! Damn!" He laughs and I bite my lip, shrinking in my seat a bit.

"Okay, yeah, now I feel bad," I mumble and giggle slightly. "Do you want me to kiss it better?" I ask and look at the side of his face.

"You'd like that wouldn't you," he smirks and I roll my eyes.

"Don't make me hit you again," I state and move my hand to tuck my hair behind my ear. Calum flinches, giggles leaving both our lips as he apologizes.

The blue-haired boy pulls the vehicle into his parent’s driveway, my nerves on high as I rub my hands together. "Hey," Cal pipes up and I tear my gaze off of the cute house to look over at him. "Stop worrying. It's gonna be fine. They're going to love you, practically already do."

I let out a nervous laugh as he tries to calm me down a bit. He reaches his hand over to grab mine, intertwining our fingers. "Thanks, Cal," I tell him and squeeze his hand.

He returned the smile before the two of us moved to get out of the rental car. We grab our luggage from the trunk of the car and walk up to the front door. Calum knocks on the door and I can't help but wrap my hand around his arm.

The front door opens and a middle-aged woman stands on the other side. "Calum, sweetheart!" She squeals and brings him into a hug. I smile at the interaction in front of me, clasping my hands together and her eyes met mine. "Y/N, right?"

I nod my head, swallowing nervously and she grins before letting go of her son to bring me into a hug. "Oh!" I let out, shocked at how friendly she is.

"I've heard so much about you! It's nice to finally meet the person who's made my son the happiest he's been," Joy states and I couldn't help but blush, glancing towards Calum to see his cheeks dusted pink as well. "Well, come in, come in! Mali's already here."

-

I was laughing at something Calum's dad, David said and I double over, holding my stomach as I can hear Calum chuckling beside me. We've been at his house for almost a week and the nerves I felt at that time have definitely disintegrated. His family was so kind and caring that I practically fit in perfectly.

"Oh, my god," I laughed still, wiping the tears from my eyes. The rest of the crew were chuckling as well, their eyes set on me. "Calum I never knew you were a little stinker."

The blue-haired man shrugs his shoulders, a smile on his lips. "There are a few things from my childhood you don't know and I'd rather you not know," he mentioned, sending a playful glare to his parents before a chuckle comes from his plump lips.

David put his hands up in surrender and Joy pats his leg before getting up from the couch. "I'm gonna start dinner. Y/N, sweetheart," she calls out and I snap my head up to look at her.

"Yes, Mrs. Hood?" I answer and she waves her hand.

"Please. Call me Joy. Would you and Mali want to help me with dinner?" She asks and my eyes sparkle.

"I would love too."

Calum's POV

My brown eyes are set on Y/N as she stands beside my sister in the kitchen, laughs leaving her lips. My heart flutters in my chest and I release a sigh, sitting back in my chair.

"You love her, don't you?" My dad asks and I glance towards the older man.

"I-I think I do. It's just kind of scary to think about," I tell him and he furrows his brows before asking me why. I lick my lips, running a hand over my buzzed hair. "I just… I just don't want to get my heart broken again. I swore to myself that love was stupid and then I fell in love with the greatest girl ever imaginable."

My dad rests a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it gently. "Love can be scary but it's worth it, especially with her. She's definitely a keeper."

Y/N's POV

"So," Mali starts and I glance towards her as I take a drink of my water, "how long have you been in love with Calum?"

I spit out my water by accident, her question taking me off guard as I look towards the living room to see Cal and David looking at me, each of their eyebrows raised. "S-Sorry, she told me something funny," I told them and they went back to whatever they were talking about as I face Mali. "I-I'm sorry. Your question really… surprised me."

She laughs and waves a hand, telling me it was fine. "Does that mean you are?"

"Is it that obvious?" I ask her and she shrugs her shoulders, leaning on the kitchen island.

"I mean, not really? Cal surely hasn't noticed which I'm not surprised," Mali laughs and I let out a sigh of relief.

I open my mouth to say something when Calum calls out for me. I look over my shoulder at him, seeing him motions his head towards the front door. "Come with me real quick?" He asks and I nod my head, smiling softly.

The two of us head outside and I can't help but ogle the way Cal looks as the sunset rays kissed his skin. "Can I take your picture?" I quietly ask and he looks down at me, a gentle smile on his plump lips.

"Yeah, sure, but only because I love you," he laughs and my heart skips a beat in my chest, staring into his brown eyes.

"I-I love you too."

Calum leans against the palm tree, the plastic cup in his hand as he crosses his left foot over the right. His right hand sits behind his back as he gives me a small smile. I hold up my phone and snap a couple of pictures. I giggle softly as I look over the photo, seeing how adorable he looks.

"How does it look?" He asks and moves to stand beside me. I show him the photo, his chin almost resting on my shoulder. "It looks good. Send it to me?"

I nod my head, doing it quickly as I can feel his eyes on me. I slip my phone back into my pocket and move my gaze to him. My breath hitches in my throat as we stand centimeters apart. I swallow hard, feeling his hand resting on my hip. "C-Cal," I stutter and my eyes flutter closed.

"I really want to kiss you," he mumbles as his lips brush ever so slightly against mine, "can I do that?"

“God, please,” I plead and take a hold of his Nine Inch Nails shirt. He brings his large hand to my cheek, his thumb stroking my cheekbone. His nose brushes mine and a shiver runs down my spine. Calum’s lips connect with mine and my heart goes beserk. It beats quickly against my ribcage as I move my lips against him, pressing my chest against his. His arms wrap around my waist, the palm of his hand pressing on my spine. My arms wrap around his neck and my fingers fiddle with the small hairs on his neck.

Calum pulls away from me after a good minute, heavy breaths leaving both of our lips as we rest our foreheads against one another. “Fuck,” he whispers and I can feel his breath fan against my lips. “That was… absolutely amazing.”

A giggle leaves my lips as I nod a bit, looking at him through my lashes. “It was. Kinda wish we did it sooner,” I mumble to him and he hums in agreement.

“Well, now we could do it every day?” Cal asks and I bite into my bottom lip.

“Are you asking me out?” I question him and pull away a bit, his brown eyes looking into mine as he licked his lips.

“And if I am?”

“Of course I’ll go out with you,” I grin before pulling him back closer to me by his neck, reconnecting our lips as the sun set in the distance.

-

Taglist: @bumblebet-20​ @ashtonsunshine​ @h0tsos​ @sexgodashton​ @thebookamongmen​ @mysticalhood​ @myloverboyash​ @galcalirwin​ @smokeinherlungs​ @asht0ns-world​ @ashs-cheergirl​ @dashlilymark​ @shower-me-with-roses​ @therainydays4​ @thatcheekychic​ @lukeskisses​ @latemikedevil​ @fayesfairylights​ @marshmallowtraver​ @trashbin2​ @whatmakesmehappyy​ @itjustkindahappenedreally​ @aubergine-lips​ @cashtonasfuck​ @irwinkitten​ @feliznavidaddycal​ @talksopretty​ @bloodmoonashton​ @kindahoping4forever​ @pxrxmoore​ @maluminspace​

[ladyvegeets]

Lethal Combination -03-

Bulma’s phone rang in its hands-free device. Vegeta glanced over, SON GOKU illuminated on the screen. He looked back out the window as Bulma put the call on speaker.

“Hey Son, what’s up? You find something already?”

“Unfortunately. A missing person that matches our DOA. Ryan Smith, only 17. I’ll text you the address of next-of-kin. Sorry to put you on condolence duty first day back.”

“Don’t sweat it, just part of the job.”

“Well, speaking of which, it really is great to have you back in the saddle, Bulma.”

She mumbled a hasty thanks and hung up. A glance out of the corner of his eye found her tugging on her sleeve as she drove, scowling out the windshield. 

A moment later her phone buzzed with Goku’s text. 

“Can you get that?” Since there was no one else in the car, Vegeta assumed she was talking to him. He plucked out the phone from its holder and tried to access her messages. On the lock-screen was a very fancy-looking custom-made motorbike, over which hovered a pin-pad. 

“It’s passcode protected.”

“314-159” 

He hoped for her sake that it was a throw-away passcode. What kind of idiot gave out their private information so readily? He pulled up her messages. There were a lot. Little Miss Popular. The second-most-recent message was from MOM saying Okay, see you tonight, sweetie! Good luck! The most recent was from SON GOKU with details on the victim and an address. There was also a photo. A young man, slim, short dark hair and eyes.

His heart beat skyrocketed. His palms broke out in a sweat. Something dark ballooned in his chest, making it hard to breathe, threatening to swamp him with emotions he struggled to suppress.

“Hello? Is there an address?!”

Bulma’s tone indicated that she’d needed to repeat herself. Vegeta got himself in check and read the address aloud.

“Punch it into the GPS, would you.” 

He tilted his head to look at her firmly over the rim of his sunglasses. Bulma glanced his way, a delicate brow arching up. 

“What? Don’t tell me you don’t know how to use a smartphone?”

“It’s not very smart if I have to do it myself,” he snarked back.

“Oh my GOD. What rock have you been living under that you can’t operate a smartphone?”

“The kind where I don’t allow corporations access to all my personal information.”

“Wow. You’re one of those.”

“One of what?”

“Never mind, I think I know where that neighborhood is.” She changed lanes and headed them towards their new destination. Annoyed by the exchange, Vegeta shoved her phone back into its holder, needing to make a few attempts before it snapped into place. Bulma gave him a withering side-eye but wisely made no comment.

~xox~

Several minutes (and a quick check on Maps) later, they pulled up to a modest residential house. 

“Let me take lead,” she suggested as they approached the door. Bulma wasn’t ready to trust Vegeta’s people skills just yet. He took off his shades and said nothing. She hoped that meant he agreed. 

She knocked on the door and barely a minute later a middle-aged woman who looked like she hadn’t slept in a week answered.

“Mrs. Smith?”

“Yes?”

“I’m detective Briefs and this is detective Saiyan—”

“Have you found Ryan?” the woman interrupted with desperation and reached for Bulma. Vegeta shifted instinctively, his hand going to his holster.

Bulma put herself between woman and partner before Vegeta shot the poor lady. “I think it’s best if we come inside.”

It was awful. It always was. There was never a nice way to relay the death of a loved one, especially a child to their parent. Mrs. Smith sobbed inconsolably for several minutes. There were already used tissues all over her coffee table. The poor thing had done little else but cry since her son had gone missing.

Bulma sat opposite the woman on her couch, patiently waiting out the tears and patting her hand when she could. Vegeta stood off in a corner of the living room, arms crossed, leaving the two women be.

When Mrs. Smith had calmed down enough to drink some water, Bulma began. “Mrs. Smith, I’m so terribly sorry to have to do this to you now, but I need to ask you some questions. Are you up for that?”

The woman nodded miserably, dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

“When was the last time you heard from Ryan?”

“U-um… Yesterday morning,” Mrs Smith replied with fresh tears welling. “He went out to meet friends but never came home for dinner. He didn’t answer his phone when I called, and his friends said they hadn’t seen him either. I went to the police station right after that.”

“And you can’t think of any reason why he wouldn’t come home? Any problems or recent arguments?” Bulma inquired.

“No, nothing! He was a good boy.”

“Why aren’t you out looking for him?” Vegeta interjected. Bulma gave him a horrified look; it sounded far too much like an accusation for her liking. He ignored her, waiting pointedly for Mrs. Smith’s reply.

The woman’s eyes were huge as she looked at Vegeta. “The police told me to wait here in case he came back, o-or tried to contact the house,” she told him earnestly, barely choking back tears. “But Nicky has been out searching all night and day.”

“Who’s Nicky?”

“Nicholas, my eldest.” Mrs. Smith pointed to a photo on the fireplace mantle. Vegeta moved over and picked it up. “That’s Ryan on the left and Nicky on the right,” Mrs Smith explained before she started sobbing again.

Vegeta stepped over to show Bulma the picture. It was definitely the boy from the beach. The elder brother — Nicky — had a protective arm thrown around. 

“…They look very close,” she commented kindly.

Mrs. Smith nodded. “Ever since their father left, they’ve been inseparable.”

Bulma and Vegeta’s eyes met, sharing a mutual look. If the brothers were that close, maybe Nicky would be worth questioning.

“Your husband’s gone?” Vegeta asked without even attempting to soften his tone.

The woman nodded. “I haven’t heard from him in over a decade. Do you think he’s involved?”

Vegeta shrugged one shoulder. “Can’t rule it out. We’ll need his name and last known contact information. Where’s your son’s room?”

“Ryan’s? Um, down the hall, second door on the right.”

He left without another word. Bulma glared after him, making a mental note to chastise him about his bedside manner. She tried to smooth over her partner’s insensitivity by getting names, numbers, and addresses from Mrs. Smith that might help with their investigation.

Vegeta came back after a while, giving her a curt head-shake; he hadn’t found anything useful. Bulma finished up, leaving Mrs. Smith with the number for the station and her own cell. “Call me if you think of anything, no matter how silly. Often it’s the small details that lead to big break throughs in these cases.”

Mrs. Smith nodded and mumbled a wet thank you before she devolved back into tears. Bulma and Vegeta showed themselves out. 

As she opened the door to the car, Bulma glared over the roof at Vegeta. “Is that how you always handle grieving victims?”

He threw her a withering look. “You got a problem with how I work?”

“I do if you’re always going to be hostile when it’s not necessary.”

“Tch. That wasn’t hostile, that was me being reassuring.” He opened his door and got into the car. Irritated, she got in after him.

“Bullshit. How is interrogating a grieving mother reassuring?”

Vegeta met her gaze. “Not everyone needs to be mollycoddled. People grieving don’t want to hear how sorry you are. They want to know you’re going to tear everything apart to find their loved one’s murderer.”

Bulma’s mouth snapped shut, not having a witty come back to that. He kind of had a point. “Well, still… If you wound up dead, wouldn’t you like to know that someone was treating your family with compassion?”

“Wouldn’t know,” Vegeta replied in a flat voice, turning to stare out his window. “Don’t have one.”

She stared at the back of his head for longer than was polite, struggling to think of something appropriate to say. But the moment grew too long, and then it felt awkward to say anything at all. Finally she turned on the ignition and pulled the car back onto the road. Bulma made a mental note to hug her parents extra hard at dinner that night.

~xoXox~

AN: Anyone recognize Bulma’s passcode? In the words of TFS-Piccolo, “NEEEEEERD!”

[iwanttowriteyou]

Cars - Calum Hood

Words: 1319 Request:  hi hi hi omg idk if ur taking requests but can u write about y/n and calum are babysitting y/n's nieces and cal is so nervous about it because he thinks hes horrible with kids but it ended up great and cute and all that omg do ur magic tysm

A/N: I wanted to give you something fluffy for the holidays. I hope everyone can spend the next few days with people you love and cherish, and I wish you all the best! Happy holidays xox

When I thought about spending the holidays with Y/N, I thought that she meant like the good parts about it – eating cookies, drinking some beer and enjoying some quality time with my girl. What she didn’t mention though, was the fact that the days before Christmas her duty around their family’s home would be to babysit all her nieces and cousins.

And of course, she decided it wasn’t worth mentioning when she asked me to tag along, and I had said yes. Now, my heart was hammering harshly in my chest, my palms were sweaty, and I was nervously fiddling when Y/N’s aunts gave her the updates on who-can-eat-what and make-sure-X-doesn’t-do-Y.

Yes, I was nervous. I might be able to charm my way through meeting Y/N’s friends a couple of months ago, or even survive the first dinner party with her parents. But kids? Children were a whole different story. There might have been a few times my own family had requested my aid with their children, and that might’ve not always ended that well.

“Cal, babe, are you alright?” I’m drawn from my own thoughts as my girlfriend’s fingertips brush along my arm, a rake of shivers following her lingering touch. I cock my head down, gently smiling at her, but I know it comes out as a grimace.

“I – yeah, why?” My arm snakes around her shoulders and I haul her against my chest, pressing my lips briskly, but longingly against her forehead. Her hands are gently resting on my chest, her lips curled up into a smile as she presses them against my stubbled chin. My frown dissipates just the slightest bit, but as soon as one of the little rascals squeals in the background it comes back full force.

Y/N once again doesn’t allow me into my own head with worry. “Your frown is troubling. What’s going on in that head of yours?” She takes a step back, intertwining our fingers and dragging my body along into the living room, where four children are playing with their dolls, blocks or coloring in their books.

My heartbeat picks up but as soon as my eyes land on my girlfriend again, I take a deep breath. It’s not like I am alone with them, I have Y/N with me at all times. And I know how amazing she is with kids. “Nothing to worry your little head about.”

“Y/N! Y/N! Come look at what I did!” Our sweet moment gets shortened when Samantha, the youngest girl in the bunch, grabbles at Y/N’s dress and starts yanking at it impatiently, immediately demanding her attention. “I’m coming Sammy, calm down.” She grins at me and I nervously smile back at her, before my own gaze is pulled down when I feel small around envelope my thigh.

“Calum, will you play with me?” My hand lands on the little boy’s head almost out of instinct, my gaze still locked on Y/N who is being dragged to the large dinner table in the living room by Samantha. I’m hesitant, because I do remember the last time I was roughly playing with my own cousin and we ended up in the hospital because he fell off his bike.

“I – uh – well – “ As soon as my gaze lands on his large puppy-dog-like eyes, framed a thick pair of glasses, my heart melts. “Of course, little man. What do you want to do?” I gently pull him from my leg, grabbing his small hand in mine as I let him guide me to the sofa and coffee table, cars scattered all around the perimeter.

“Play with cars.” I hum in acknowledgement, dropping onto my knees beside Tyler as he shoves a few cars in my direction. “So, what are we doing? Racing?” I question as I push the car forward, the little wheels accelerating and I have to jump up and hold my hand to make sure it didn’t just fly off the table. Tyler giggles heartily, pushing his frames back onto his nose.

Tyler shoves a car so close to my face that I fall back onto my ass, Tyler seeing it as an invitation to crawl into my lap. “This is my favorite. But not in red, in blue.” He frowns at the little toy car as he wiggles it in his small hand, grinning back up at me when he realizes I haven’t responded yet.

“You know,” I start off, positioning the little man a bit more properly onto my lap, “I have a car like this. It is black though…” I trail off, trying to hide the smirk that makes its way onto my lips as his eyes widen in pure shock and astonishment, mouth hanging open as he simply stares at me.

“Whoa. Really?” He looks back to his little toy car, back up at me and I chuckle, pursing my lips together as I let my eyes flick over to my girlfriend. She is already staring at me, a loving smile etched onto her lips as she mouths I love you in my general direction.

“Yes. If you want, and if it’s okay with Y/N, I can take you with and show it to you sometime.” I raise my eyebrows at Y/N in question, Tyler’s head whipping around to stare at his niece in wonder. “Oh, Y/N, can I? Can Calum show me the car? Please?”

He jumps up from my lap and runs over to Y/N, who raises to her feet and pulls Tyler along with her. “If you promise to hold Calum’s hand the entire time, and listen to him when he tells you something…” She speaks to the little boy but lets her gaze flick to mine briefly to see if I was truly okay with this, “… Then it’s fine by me.”

He squirms in her hold and she drops him to the floor, his small arms immediately winding around both her thighs. “Oh my god! Thank you, Y/N! You’re the best.” A snicker leaves my lips as I stroll over to my girlfriend, Tyler already dashing down the hall to collect his things. “Go grab your coat!”

“Look at you.” Y/N grins at me as she pulls me closer by my shirt, pressing our lips briskly together. “What?” I laugh against her lips, cupping her neck and jaw with my large hands as I try and deepen our kiss. “Why would you ever be nervous with kids? You’re amazing. I can’t wait to see you have a little one of your own.”

“Well, hopefully it’ll be ours then.” I breathe against her lips, noticing the shiver that runs along her arms. I had given it a thought already. Y/N and I had been together for a few years now and I knew that she was the one that I was planning the rest of my life with. She was the only one that could cope with my busy and crazy schedule, and not resent me for it. If she wanted to have a kid with me, it would be my honor.

“Calum – I love you.” She merely states as she presses out lips together again, but our sweet moment is once again interrupted. “Caluuum – come on. I wanna see the car. You can kiss Y/N later. Come on!” Tyler tugs on my arm and I laugh loudly, winking at my girlfriend as I let him pull me away from her.

He does his best to hold up my thick coat, the article of clothing a bit too heavy for the little man to carry, and I pluck it out of his hands and shrug it on quickly. I hold my hand out of the little man to grab, his upper body packed in a thick coat, a scarf and gloves. His head is barely visible by the way Y/N has tucked him in. “Come on little man, let’s go for a ride.”

[plussizeappreciationfics]

One shot: The strength of our love Plus sized reader x Tom Hiddleston

Requested by anonymous: Hi, could I get a plus size reader x Tom Hiddleston? One about a girl who is a nurse and is secretly dating Tom but can’t tell her family about it because of the culture trouble and war between them ( Celtic and English). Which leads to fights and trouble with everyone. But it ends happily in Tom and reader?

 A/N  Quick summary of what happened between the Celtic and English: England invaded Ireland and held religious wars (between Protestants and Catholics) against each other for decades, where many people died. In order to somehow bring peace amongst the people, Ireland had to sell the north of the country to England. Because of the conflicts a lot of Irish and English people don’t get along till this day

Aye= Yes

Acushla= Darling

  “Don’t forget it’s Nina’s tomorrow”, my colleague reminded me as the two of us were walking out of the hospital. “Aye, thanks for reminding me”, I thanked her before she walked across the street to the bus stop. I waited until she hopped on and gave me one last wave before I quickly walked towards the parking lot. The black Mercedes already waiting for me.

 I kept glancing side to side to make sure that no one would see me before I quickly hopped into the passenger’s seat. “Hi acushla”, I greeted Tom before giving him a quick peck. “Darling”, he greeted back. He quickly pulled out of the hospital’s parking lot and drove towards his house.

 “So how was your shift?”, he asked me as he reached his hand over and places it on my thigh and gave it a reassuring squeeze. I smiled at the sweet gesture, “It was fine, I can’t forget to wish Nina a happy birthday tomorrow or else she’ll bitch about it for weeks”, I informed him while rolling my eyes. Tom chuckled and continued to talk about our day until we arrived at the gates of our house. He punched the code in and waited until the gates opened. Once they did, he pulled into the drive way and checked if there we’re no paparazzis around.

 “Okay let’s go”, he spoke, the two of us rushed out of his car and into the house. Once we we’re in inside the living room, Tom sighed and ran his hand trough his hair with a frown on his face. “Eh what’s wrong?”, I asked concerned. Tom sighted and shrugged his shoulders. “Just sick and tired of the hiding and the constantly making sure that no one is following us”, Tom mumbled.

 I sighed and bit my lip. Tom and I had to sneak around with our relationship due to the fact that I’m Irish and he’s an Englishman. Our countries didn’t have a peaceful history together. People are still mad about what happened decades ago. My parents were one of those people. That was the main reason why Tom and I were forced to hide our relationship. If they would find out that my boyfriend is English, they would never approve it, hell they would do anything in their power to keep us apart.

 “Tom ya know our situation”, I sighed and walked over to him, wanting to embrace him in my arms. But he stepped away and walked past me into the kitchen. “Please don’t let us fight over this again!”, I begged him as I followed him into the kitchen. “Well I’m bloody sick of! And I don’t know how long I can continue hide this! Hide us!”, he yelled while throwing our hands in the air, the tension rising in the air. “We’ve discussed this already Tom, why do you keep bringing this up?”, I yelled just as loud as he did. He scoffed, “Because I don’t want to hide our love forever!”.

 We fought the rest of the evening…We went to bed mad at each other, something we had promised each other not to do. When the morning came, we both woke up with a thick tension between us. We ignored each other and got ready for the day, not looking at each other nor talking to each other, but I was hurting from the inside. I hated it when we fought. I couldn’t stand it any longer when Tom walked passed me in the kitchen not making any effort in kissing me goodbye before he would leave for work. “Okay”, I started speaking. “I don’t want us to fight anymore so if you want to we can bring both of our parents here and tell them about us”, I finished hoping to get Tom’s attention.

 He immediately stopped and turned around, a pained look on his face. “I’m so sorry for yesterday my love, I was frustrated and let it out on you”, he confessed before walking over to me and engulfing me in his strong arms. I sighed, having missed his touch so much in the last twenty four hours. I lifted my head and puckered my lips, silently asking him for a kiss. Tom smiled and pressed his soft lips against mine. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feelings our lips pressed against each other.

 Tom pulled away and smiled at me, “Yes I would love that my dear, let’s let them come tonight announce them the news, and if everything goes well we can all go out to dinner”, he proposed to which I nodded my head. We pulled away from each other and took our phones out, texting our parent’s our address and telling them to come over at seven pm.

 “Let’s hope for the best”, Tom mumbled while he leaned in and gave me one last sweet peck before he left for work. I finished my coffee and minutes later I closed the door to our house and walked over to my car, started the engine and drove off to the hospital. I kept worrying of what would happen tonight, which made it hard for me to concentrate on work. “Okay Mr. Lenner, my shift is over now, so if you need anything my colleague Nina will help you alright?”, I asked Mr. Lenner who nodded his head. “Okay goodbye”, I waved before leaving his room.

 “Hey Nina, happy birthday”, I wished her while I gave her three kisses on the cheek. She grinned and thanked me. “Oh and I gave Mr. Lenner something against the pain so should be able to sleep through the night”, I informed her before giving her the clipboard with Mr. Lenner’s latest health reports, my notes on his medication treatment and the upcoming lab tests.

Nina thanked me she walked into Mr. Lenners room. I sighed heavily as I felt a sickening feeling in my stomach, knowing what would be waiting home for me. I quickly rushed into the lockers room and changed out of my uniform. I lifted my purse and walked out of the lockers room and out of the hospital.

 My phone buzzed in my hand as I made my way to the car. “They’re in the drive way hurry darling xox Tom” said the text message. I replied to Tom saying that I was on my way home. I climbed into my car and pulled out of the hospitals parking lot and drove home, feeling so nervous.

 Once I arrived in front out the gates, I quickly punched the code in before the gates opened and I pulled into our drive way, where the cars of Tom’s and mine parents were parked as they stood in front of our doorstep. I quickly shut the engine off and hopped out of my car. “Ma, pa”, I greeted while I jogged over to them and hugged them both. “Hey acushla, what are we doing at this big house?”, ma asked me confused while eyeing Tom suspiciously.

 “Let’s all get inside and we’ll clear everything up”, Tom interrupted while his parents stood behind him. We opened the door and let them all settle in the living room. “So we asked you to come here because Y/n and I are a couple”, Tom announced nervously, while we stood in front of them . My parents gasped out loud and gave me a disappointed look, making me want to disappear in that moment.

 “Y/n how could you get involved with an Englishman?’”, ma asked me while she shook her head. “Excuse me?”, Tom’s mother spoke up while glaring at my ma. Ma scoffed and rolled her eyes. “You heard me what is my daughter doing with a man whose ancestors invaded our country and made us sell them a part of it in order to stop the murders?”, ma spat. “Y/n I’m so disappointed”, she scolded at me.

 My heart painfully clenched in my chest as I felt tears brim my eyes. Tom’s parents were shocked at my ma’s outburst. Clearly they weren’t expecting to be dragged for something that happened decades ago. “Madame please, we called you here because Y/n and I are in a serious relationship. We all know what happened between our countries and yes some people still don’t get along but we didn’t choose to fall in love…It happened to me. But she was so ashamed of what you would say that we chose to hide our relationship, not wanting to create any drama but we can’t keep on going like this. I see a clear future with her. But we want you all involved in it too”, Tom spoke.

 “The strength of our love made us forgive one another of what happened to our countries and made us stronger because we chose love over hate”, Tom finished as he reached over and held my hand. My mother was speechless for a minute, before she sighed and slowly nodded her head. “I deeply apologize for my behavior”, ma spoke as she turned to Tom’s parents.

 “It’s okay we fully understand, and we can’t change the past but we can try to better the future”, Tom’s mother spoke as our ma’s smiled at each other and our pa’s nodded at each other.

 I smiled as I squeezed Tom’s hand and leaned in for a kiss, feeling so much relieve run through my body. Tom pulled away, smiling at me lovingly before turning towards our parents, “So shall we all go to dinner and catch up?”, he asked excitedly.

Our parents nodded their heads as they stood up. They all came towards us and we all hugged each other, Tom’s parent’s introducing themselves again to me as my parents did the same to Tom. Our ma’s walked towards the front door while Tom’s pa held the door open for everyone. “I love you so much Y/n”, Tom spoke as he walked hand in hand out of our house, “I love you too Tom”, I said.

Hello to the anonymous who requested this (and privately dm’ed me to explain to me what had happened between the Celtic and English), I hope you enjoy your one shot. I personally enjoyed writing becauseI learned something :D

xxx

Emma <3

[bamby0304]

The Hart: Chapter One

Summary:  When Lizzie was just a few months old, she lost her father. Fifteen years later she lost her mother, and then her sister. Now in her early twenties Lizzie spends her days and nights hunting things and saving people. When the Winchesters meet the bright eyed and bubbly blonde they don’t realise what they’re in for… and neither does she…

Part Twenty-Eight: Beautiful Nightmare

Masterlist

Warning: Angst and a lil’ bit of fluff.

Bamby

DPOV

Sitting in Liz's and my living room on the couch, I couldn't stop thinking about what Sam had said. It hurt. All of it did. To think the only reason we get along in the other world is because of all the pain we'd been through. It just felt so wrong.

"Here you go." Liz stood next to me, offering me the beer that was in one hand and a burger that was in the other.

"Thanks." I took them both as she sat on the couch next to me. "You know... Sammy and I, we don't get along," I told her, putting both the beer and burger onto the table next to me.

"Well, you don't really spend a lot of time together," she noted. "I mean, I can count the amount of times I've seen him over the four years we've been together, on both hands." Turning to rest her legs on mine, she leaned her head on my shoulder. "For the record, he doesn't know what he's missing."

"I can fix things with Sam." I nodded. "I can make it up to him. To everyone."

She looked up at me. "What's gotten into you lately?"

Looking down at her, I felt a smile creep onto my lips. "This isn't gonna make a lick of sense to you. But I kinda feel like I've been given a second chance. And I don't wanna waste it."

"You're right." she grinned. "That doesn't make any se-"

I cut her off by pressing my lips to hers for a quick kiss before pulling back. "You know, I get it."

"Get what?"

Romantic, sappy crap, was not my thing. But right here and now, I couldn't help it. I was just too damn happy. "Why you're the one. Doesn't matter where I am or where you are, this is where we'll always end up."

She smiled at me. "Whatever's gotten into you, I like it."

Leaning forward again, I pressed my lips to hers, deepening the kiss as her fingers came up to run through my hair. Slowly I pushed her back, turning so I was above her. Moving away from her lips, I began to press kisses along her jaw and down to her neck as I let my hand begin to slide up her leg.

Pushing me back gently, she moved to straddle me, pressing kisses all over my face as I kissed her neck and cleavage. My hand began to untie the robe she was wearing- which other than underwear, it seemed to be the only thing she had on.

"This is so unfair," she moaned. "You know I've gotta get ready." Pulling back, she got off me and stood up.

"Ready for what?" I asked following as she headed for the bedroom.

"Night class."

"Uh, right and you're studying to be..." I watched as she pulled some clothes out of the closet. Looking to the dresser next to me I read the title of the textbook that sat there. "A teacher. I'm engaged to a future teacher." I grinned, looking her up and down. "That is so... respectable."

She just rolled her eyes at me.

Shaking my head, I walked over to her. "Stay home for the night." Standing behind her, I brushed her hair way and pressed a kiss to her neck. "Just one night. For me."

Leaning back into me, she groaned. "I can't..."

"Please." My hands slid around her waist, holding her against me, my lips still on her skin.

It took a moment before she sighed and gave in, "I guess I can be a little late."

Turing her around, I pressed her against the wall. "That's my girl." I grinned before my lips crashed down on hers.

Putting my feet up onto the coffee table, I flicked through the channels on the TV as I drank my beer. Liz had left a few minutes ago, though even she hadn't wanted to go by then. Even in this world, our sex was just like it was in the other world, just like I remembered it. Which is exactly why I couldn't wipe the grin off my face.

"... and today marks the anniversary of the crash of United Britannia Flight 424. Indianapolis residents held a candlelight vigil in memory of the-"

I shook my head, leaning forward. "No. No, I stopped that crash."

Turning the TV off, I grabbed the laptop off the coffee table and flicked it on to search the internet. Looking through article after article, I couldn't believe it. They were all dead. All of them.

Movement caught my eye. I looked up in time to see someone walk into the bedroom. Getting up, I followed them, but the bedroom was empty...

A noise came from the wardrobe. Stepping up to it, I opened the door, finding too mummified looking corpses hanging in the small space. Taking a step back, I caught something in the mirror.

Turning around, I was face to face with the woman. The one from earlier today and at the restaurant. But her clothes were now dirty and she looked ill, almost dead. She began to flicker as if she wasn't really there, and then she was gone.

Looking over my shoulder I found the wardrobe now empty as well.

What the...

"All of them." I shook my head, looking down at my dad's grave. "Everyone that you saved. Everyone Sammy and I saved. Hell, everyone Liz saved. They're all dead. And there's this woman who's just haunting me. I don't know why. I don't know what the connection is. Not yet anyway. It's like my old life it just coming after me or something, you know? Like it doesn't want me to be happy."

I was happy. I don't think I'd ever been happier in my life. Sure, it wasn't perfect, but that made it even better.

Like I told Liz, I'd fix things with Sam. I'd fix things with everyone. Once I did that, everything would be perfect. Mum would be alive. Liz and I would get married. Sam and Jess would get married. There'd be kids. We'd be a big, happy family like we always should have been.

But... it never was the simple.

"Of course, I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball. But, you'd say, 'Go hunt the jinn. Hey, it put you here, it could put you back. You're happiness for all those people's lives. No contest, right'. But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? What, mums not supposed to live her life? Sammy's not supposed to get married? Liz... Liz." I shook my head again. "Why do we have to sacrifice everything, dad? It's..." A tear rolled down my cheek. "Yeah."

No answer. Just like in my real world.

I was on my own.

I heard them before I saw them. Though honestly, that wasn't hard. It's not like they were light on their feet or anything. You'd think, considering I could have been anyone breaking into my mum's house, that Sam would have at least tried to be a little quieter while walking.

He'd come around the corner, swinging a bat. But this Sam wasn't my Sam, which meant he wasn't fast enough. I got out of the way and stood up, grabbing and shoving him to the ground easily.

"That was so easy, I'm embarrassed for you." I grinned down at him.

"Dean? What the hell are you doing here?" He pushed me off him.

"I was looking for a beer," I lied.

He looked behind me to where I'd been looking beforehand. "In the china cabinet?" He walked over to turn the light on before turning to see what I'd been doing. "That's mum's silver."

"Sam-"

He cut me off, looking both unimpressed and not exactly pleased. "What you broke into the house, to steal mum's silver?"

"It's not what it looks like," I insisted. "I didn't have a choice."

"Oh, really? Why? What's so damn important that you gotta steal from your own mother?"

I sighed. "You want the truth?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do."

There is no way in hell I can tell him the truth... "I owe somebody money." I shrugged.

"Who?"

"A bookie. I lost big on a game. I gotta bring him the cash tonight-"

"I can't believe we're even related."

That hurt. "Sam, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we don't get along. And I wish to hell I could stay and fix it. But I gotta do this. People's lives depend on it." Bending down, I grabbed one of the silver knives.

"What are you talking about, Dean?"

Turning back to him, I shrugged again. "Nothing. Forget it. Just, uh... hey, tell mum I love her. And tell Liz... tell Liz I'm sorry."

He tilted his head slightly, looking at me confused as I walked towards the front door.

As much as I wanted to stay here, in this world, I knew I couldn't. I didn't belong here. There were people depending on me back home. There were things I had to do. Saving people, hunting things... I wanted the family in this dream world, but I already had a family back in the real world.

"Dean..."

Looking over my shoulder, I gave him a small, sad smile. "I'll see you Sammy." With that, I left.

Sitting in the car, I was about to drive off when my phone buzzed, telling me I had a message. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, seeing that it was from Liz.

Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you, and that I miss you already :) xox

I smiled down at the phone, feeling guilty that I was about to leave her. But I had to. This was just something I had to do. My happiness was not worth more than the lives of other's. The Liz I knew would understand that.

As I put the phone back into my pocket, the passenger side door opened as Sam got into the car.

I didn't even wait for him to finish sitting down. "Get out of the car," I told him.

But he just closed the door, ignoring me. "I'm going with you."

"You're just going to slow me down."

"Tough."

"It's dangerous and you could get hurt."

"And so could you, Dean."

"Sam-"

"Look, whatever stupid thing you're about to do, you're not doing it alone. And that's that."

"I don't understand. Why are you doing this?"

He looked away from me then, sighing. "Because you're still my brother," he answered, turning to me again.

I nodded. "Bitch."

"Why'd you call me a bitch for?"

"You're supposed to say, 'Jerk'."

"What?"

"Never mind." Shaking my head, I turned the ignition on and drove off.

"What's in the bag?" Sam asked, trying to make conversation. We'd been driving in silence so far.

I looked down at the brown paper bag that sat between us. "Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Yeah, nothing."

"Fine." Shrugging, he grabbed the bag and began to unravel it to pull whatever was inside, out.

"You don't wanna do that," I warned, a slight smile forming on my lips. This'll be good.

"Oh, really?" He just kept going, pulling out the container inside. "What the hell is this?"

"Blood," I answered simply.

"Yeah, I can see its blood, Dean. What the hell is it doing in here?" he snapped.

"You don't really wanna know."

"No, I do really wanna know. I really, really do."

"Well, you're gonna find out sooner or later," I muttered before answering him. "I needed a silver knife dipped in lamb's blood."

"You needed a silver knife dipped in lamb's blood, why?" He was freaking out.

"Because there's this creature, a jinn, and I have to hunt it."

"Okay. Um... Stop the car."

"I know how it sounds."

"Great. Just stop the car."

"It's the truth, Sam," I insisted. "All right, there are things out there in the dark. There are bad things. There are nightmare things. People have to be saved. If we don't save them, then nobody will."

"I wanna help you, all right? I really, really do. But you're having some kind of psychotic breakdown. So I just..."

"I wish," I mumbled, looking over to see him pulling out his phone. Rolling my eyes, I wound my window down, grabbed his phone, and threw it out of the car.

"What the hell was that, Dean? That was my phone."

"I'm not going to a rubber room, Sammy," I told him, putting my window back up. "And we got work to do."

"I was just trying to help you out, Dean. I don't want you to get yourself hurt."

"What, you protect me?”

"Yeah."

I laughed. "Oh, that's hilarious. Why don't you just sit tight and try not to get us both killed," I suggested, reaching forward to turn the radio on.

Stopping the car outside of the warehouse, I pulled out a torch, turned it on and shined it onto Sam's face. He woke up with a start, turning to glare at me. I simply grinned at him.

"Where are we?" he asked, looking around.

"Well, we're not in Kansas anymore," I chuckled. "Illinois."

"And you think something's in there?"

"I know it is," I answered, opening the car door and stepping out.

"See?" Sam shrugged as we walked around the abandoned warehouse. "There's nothing here, Dean. Look, Elizabeth's gotta be worried sick about you. Come on, let's just go."

I shushed him, hearing something in the distance.

"What the hell is that?"

I turned to him. "Stay behind me. Keep your mouth shut," I ordered before I began to follow the sound.

We came to an open space in the warehouse, seeing two bodies hanging from their wrists. Two mummified bodies. Just like the ones I'd seen in my wardrobe at home. Exactly like them, actually. Right down to the clothes they were dress in. Needles were stuck in their neck, connected to blood bags. They'd been drained of blood, both of them.

"What the hell?" Sam stepped closer to them.

I looked to my right, seeing another body. Only...

Hurrying over I found that it wasn't a body. No, it was the woman I'd been seeing everywhere, and she was still alive. But she wouldn't be for long. Needles were stuck in her as well, draining her.

She began to twitch and mumble.

"Dean, what's going on?" There was a panic in Sam's voice.

I grabbed him, shushing him again. In the shadows behind the woman I could hear the thing coming.

Still holding on to Sam, I pulled him along as I moved us to go hide behind a counter. Once we were hidden, I watched, seeing the jinn stepped up to the woman as she cried, asking about her father.

The jinn lifted its hand, caressing her cheek. "Sleep." A blue glow rippled over the woman's skin, sending her back to sleep. "Sleep."

Once she was asleep, the jinn grabbed one of the tube connected to the blood bags. Lifting it, the thing squeezed some blood into its mouth, drinking it.

Sam made a noise of disgust.

The jinn turned in our direction, it's eyes glowing blue. It started towards us, but I was fast and quiet, pulling Sam and I away to hide somewhere else. Eventually the jinn gave up and walked up some stairs, into a room.

As a door closed, Sam spoke. "This is real? You're not crazy?"

I ignored him, stepping out of the hiding place. "She didn't know where she was. She thought she was with her father." I started towards her. "What is this what the jinn does? It doesn't grant you a wish. It just makes you think it has."

Sam grabbed my arm. "Look man, that thing could come back, all right?"

Still ignoring him, I walked over towards a hanging light and looked up at it. Staring up at the light, it was like everything began to blur, the lines mixing together, this world and the other flashing before my eyes. One moment I'm standing there looking up at the light, the next I'm tied up like the woman, then I'm standing again.

"Dean. Please."

"What if I'm like her? What if I'm tied up in here someplace? What if all this is in my head?" I turned, moving back to the woman, trying to think everything through. "I mean, it could, you know... Maybe it gives us some kind of supernatural acid, and then just feeds on us slow."

Sam stepped up behind me. "No, Dean, that doesn't make any sense, okay?"

"What if that's why she keeps appearing to me? She's not a spirit. It's like more and more I'm catching flashes of reality. You know, like I'm in here somewhere. I'm catatonic. And I'm taking all this stuff in. But I can't snap out of it."

"Yeah. Okay. Look, you're right." Sam nodded. "I was wrong. You're not crazy. But we need to get out of here. Fast." He grabbed my arm and started to pull me along, leading me to the exit.

I shoved him off me. "I don't think you're real."

He made a noise of frustration, grabbing my jacket. "Dude, you feel that? You feel this?" He shook me. "I'm real. This is not an acid trip. I'm real and that thing is gonna come down here and kill us for real. Now, please."

"There's on way to be sure." I pulled the silver knife out, the lambs blood still coating the blade.

Sam backed up. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing?"

"It's an old wives tale. If you're about to die in a dream, you wake up," I explained.

"No, no, no, that's crazy, all right?"

"Maybe." I shrugged.

"You're gonna kill yourself." He went to step forward but I pointed the knife at him, making him stop. "Okay." He raised his hands up.

"Or I'm gonna wake up. One or the other."

"Look. This isn't a dream, all right? I'm here, with you, now, and you are about to kill yourself, Dean."

"No, I'm pretty sure." I gave it a quick thought. "Like, ninety percent sure. But I'm sure enough." Turning the blade, I aimed it at my chest, ready to do it.

"Wait!" Sam yelled.

The place fell silent except for the sound of footsteps echoing in the distance, nearing. In the corner of my eye I could see something. Looking over, I found myself looking at my mum. Another person appeared, Jess, standing on my right. Then there was Liz, stopping next to Sam.

"Why'd you have to keep digging?" Sam asked, looking at me with sad, sorry eyes. "Why couldn't you have left well enough alone? You were happy."

Mum stepped up to me. "Put the knife down, honey."

"You're not real." I shook my head, trying to stay strong, though my voice sounded a little weak and unsure. "None of it is."

Mum raised her hand to cup my cheek. "It doesn't matter. It's still better than anything you had. It's everything you want." She smiled. "We're a family again. Let's go home."

"I'll die. The jinn'll drain the life out of me in a couple of days."

Mum shook her head. "But in here, with us, it'll feel like years, like a life time. I promise. No more pain or fear. Just love and comfort and safety. Dean. Stay with us. Get some rest."

"You don't have to worry about Sam anymore," Jess spoke up. "You get to watch him live a full life."

Mum stepped out of the way as Liz came to stand in front of me, reaching up to press a gentle kiss on my lips. "We can have a future together. We can have our own family. No secrets. No problems. Here, Dean, we can be together." She smiled up at me. "Dean, please." She lifted her hand, brushing her fingers against my cheek.

But, I felt something on my other cheek. A hand holding my other cheek...

"Dean... Dean!" The voice was far away, but I could hear it.

I frowned, trying to listen to it. "Liz?"

Sam stepped up, pulling my attention to him. "Why is it our job to save everyone? Haven't we done enough? I'm begging you. Give me the knife."

"Dean!" This voice was Sam, I could hear it, I could feel it. The worry in his voice.

As much as I wanted to stay, looking to each face, I knew I would be happy and I knew they were telling the truth. But I couldn't. Not when there were people who needed me.

Stepping back from them, I shook my head. "I'm sorry." Raising the knife, I lined it up and plunged it into my chest.

SPOV

"Dean! Dean. Dean." I shook his shoulder. "Oh, God. Come on. Hey, wake up. Wake up, damn it."

Lizzie was right next to me. "Dean. Come on. Please wake up." Her voice sounded just as desperate as mine as she looked up at him, hanging there.

He groaned, opening his eyes to look at us. "Oh, Auntie Em." He managed a slight smile. "There's no place like home."

"Thank God." I let out a sigh of relief, moving to take the needle out of his neck. "Thought we lost you for a second."

"You almost did," he admitted.

Lizzie pulled out her knife, reaching up on her toes to cut at his binds. "I told you I'd come after you if you didn't call," she mumbled to him. "Scared the crap out of me."

He was about to say something, but his eyes went wide. "Liz, behind you!"

Both Lizzie and I turned around to see a tattooed man with glowing blue eyes reaching for Lizzie.

Acting quickly, she kicked out at it, making it stumble a few feet away. "I got it, you do Dean."

Not bothering with a response, I turned back to my brother, pulling out my own knife to cut him down.

He struggled against his binds. "Go help her."

I shook my head. "Gotta get you down first."

"No! She needs help!" He tried to look over his shoulder. "I can't see them. I can't see her!" There was a panic in his voice.

Finally, I managed to get him free.

Before I could move to help him, he snatched the knife out of my hand- which was silver and dipped in lamb's blood- and stalked towards the jinn as it held Lizzie against the wall, it's hand around her throat. Without hesitating a second, he stabbed the jinn in the heart through the back, killing it. As it fell to the ground, Dean reached for Liz, trying to keep her steady, but he was too weak.

I hurried over just in time to help both of them stand.

"You okay?" Dean asked her, brushing her hair out of her face.

She nodded at him. "Thanks."

I have no idea how I hadn't seen it, but suddenly I did. I could see it in the way they looked at each other. Somehow, somewhere down the line, something had changed between them. They weren't just friends anymore, there was something else there...

Without warning, Dean turned and walked away, heading further into the warehouse.

Lizzie and I shared a look before we followed him, coming to an opening where three bodies hung just as Dean had been moment ago.

He stood in front of one that looked to have only died moment ago, lifting his hand to check her pulse. "She's still alive."

"What?" Lizzie hurried over to help him.

Lizzie held the woman up as Dean used the knife to cut at the ropes around the woman's wrists. I stepped forward, taking the needle out of the woman's neck just as Dean got her free.

He carefully took her from Lizzie, looking down at the woman as he cradled her head in his hand. "I got you. I got you. We're gonna get you out of here, okay? I got you. I got you."

EPOV

"Okay. Thanks for the update. Okay. Bye." I hung up the phone and turned to Dean as he sat on the bed in the hotel room. "That was the hospital. The girl's been stabilised. Good chance she's gonna pull through."

He nodded, not even turning to me as he responded. "That's good."

Sam was disposing of the other two bodies that had been left at the warehouse, while also dealing with the jinn corpse, which left Dean and I alone.

I walked over to sit on the bed next to his. "How about you? How are you doing?"

"Yeah, I'm all right." He nodded again. But I could hear it in his voice. He wasn't all right. Before I could call him out on it, he spoke again, "You should've seen it, Liz. Our lives. Sam was such a wuss."

I laughed. "So I'm guessing you two didn't get alone?"

He gave a little grin, though still didn't turn to me. "No."

But, that didn't make sense to me. Sam was the most important thing to Dean. "I... I thought it was supposed to be this perfect fantasy?"

"It wasn't," he sighed, standing up. "It was just a wish. I wished for my mum to live. If she never died, Sam and I never would have hunted."

Frowning, I still didn't understand. "So... how could I have been there?"

"You just were." He shrugged, clearly hiding something.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't stay." I offered him a gentle smile. "Most people... most people wouldn't have had the strength. I think they would have stayed."

"Yeah. Lucky me." He shook his head. "I gotta tell you though," he sighed, "Sam had Jess."

"The girlfriend he lost?"

"Yeah." He nodded, going on. "My mum was gonna have grand-kids. I had-" He stopped and turned then, finally looking at me.

My heart sunk. "You had me?"

"We were engaged," he told me, moving to lean against the wall, still looking at me. "We were living together. You were studying to be a teacher. I worked at a garage. We were normal. And we were happy."

"Dean, it wasn't real. None of it was."

"I know. But I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay so bad."

Getting up, I walked over, standing in front of him as I rested my hands on his shoulders. "You don't mean that."

"I do," he insisted. "I mean, ever since my dad died, all I can think about is how much this job's cost me. All of us. Sam and me, we've lost so much. We've sacrificed so much..."

"People are alive because of you, Dean." I raised my hand to cup his cheek, turning his face to look at me. "People are alive because of you. It may not be fair, and this life sucks, I know. But it's worth it. And you know it, Winchester." A small smile played on my lips. "Or you wouldn't have come back."

Bamby

If you would like to be tagged please send an ask, and tell me what list you want to be added to, it’s just easier to organise this way :):)

Forever Tags:

@kellyn1604 @bunnymelodies @ask-kakashihatake​ @red-rose-flora​ @inumorph

SPN:

@anique-olsman​​ @ria132love​

[mindofhills]

I just love you that much // Alex Ernst Smut

Pairing: Alex Ernst x Reader

Requested: yes “ Hello! Could you do an Alex Ernst imagine? Where the reader is really famous and Alex and her are dating. The reader is doing a show at the Staples center and Alex and the entire squad go watch because they love seeing her perform and all the girls are like talking about how good the reader is doing and stuff like that! Also could you add some major Alex fluff??💗 “ -unknown

Plot: You’re a famous singer, you’re dating Alex. You have everything you’ve ever wanted in you life. As you’re about to go and do your show in Staples center something happens ...

Warning: swearing, fluff, kissing, sexy talk etc.

Word count: 1 918 (shorter than I expected)

Age: +15

A/N: I’m back again and posting as often as I can. I’m planning on doing a Q&A day every Thursday, posting at least one story every week and just being more active in here as my blog is literally growing everyday and I want to keep it that way. So follow me for more smuts, imagine oneshots etc Enjoy! xox

I do not own that picture! Also I just made up those song lyrics so there’s that.. :D xx

Sometimes I think, why me? What did I do to deserve this? All my success, all my friends, my family, my fans and of course me loving boyfriend. He’s really and angel. He’s always so supportive, protective, loving, sweet, sexy and so much more. I really love him.

We’ve been together for a year now and it has been nothing, but amazing. We met, when Liza started dating and my music career basically exploded. I’ve been friends with Liza since like we were maybe 10 or so. I moved here, to LA and I had no friends, but her so she introduced me to her friends and that’s how I met Alex.

It was a small get-together and we started talking. He said that I looked familiar to him and I said that maybe we went to school together, trying to avoid the fact that I’m a singer. He found out that I was a singer, we talked all night long.

“Okay, I have to get going. It’s getting late.” I said sitting up, he grabbed my hand and I turned around looking at the smile on his face. “Can I send you home?” he asked me, I smiled softly and nodded my head. “Are you sure that you want to leave tho?” I asked him. He stood up, looked down at me and said “Well the only fun here is you so, when you’re going so is the fun.” he said and I laughed, he smiled back at me. 

“David, I’ll get going. See you tomorrow?” I asked him, he smiled “Yeah, of course. Bye!”he said and gave me a small hug. “Bye, David!” Alex daid to him “Where you’re going? You live here.” he said and Alex smiled. “I’ll make sure she gets home safely.” Alex said and I smiled softly. “Alright, I see.” David said and gave me and him a litlle wink. I laughed and stepped outside.

“Shit. I came here with Liza.” I said and got out my phone to call an uber. “No it’s fine. I have a car.” he said and opened the door for me.

“Yeah, you can just stop the car right in front of that gate.” I said to him and he smiled. I run down the window. “Who’s this?” a low man voice says and Alex looks at me. I smile “Hey, Rob! It’s me.” I say and the gate opens. “Yo, y/n!” he says and laughs. “Who’s he?” he asks me and I smile. “Ever since my career exploded I’ve needed a higher security, he is one of them. He’s actually more like my best friend that a body guard.” I said and he nodds.

We pull up in front of my house. “You wanna come in?” I ask him and he smiles his huge bright smile. I love his smile, I really do. “Of course!” he said very excited. I open up the door to my house, it’s rather big, but I like it. It’s nice to have a big home, when you have events and meeting all the time. It lowers the stress also if you do your meetings in your own home.

“I’m scared.” I said to Alex and he kissed me softly on my lips. You’ll do just fine, I believe in you. I know it’s a huge thing, but I’m here. We’re all here.” he said and pulled me in for a soft hug. “Don’t be scared. We’re here to support you.” Scotty said. It was nice to have all my friends here, watching me live. Toddy, Scotty, David, Liza, Kristen, Jason, Gabbie, Heath, Zane and Matt- they’re all my babies. “It’s really nice to have you guys here. It really is.” I say and we all share a big group hug.

“Y/n, you have to be on stage in 2 minutes.” Rob said and I smiled at him then looked at my friends. “Alright, bitch. Let’s do this shit, baby!” Heath said and pushed me on the stage, I laughed. I stepped a few steps more so the crowd could finally see me.” I have to admit, the screams were loud as fuck. I started laughing and waved at them. I step to the edge of the stage and sit down.

“Hey!” I say and they all scream back at me, I giggle. “More than a year ago, I went to David’s house for a party Y’all know, who David is right?” they all scream. “His this white guy, who weard black all the time, drives a Tesla and records every single fucking thing. Shit. Wait. ROB!” I look back and a “Yeah?” sounds from the stage speakers.

“Can I cuss?” I asked him and everybody laughed. “It’s your show, do what you want.” he said. “Alright. Shit. Now, where was I. Oh yeah. At that party I met this gorgeous guy, turned out his name is Alex. I liked him asap. I mean he’s hot as fuck, right?” I everybody scream.

“Well now he’s my boyfriend and I love him.” a  bunch of aww’s came from the crowd. “And at that party I met the coolest people on Earth. My best friends.” I said and looked at the back of the stage. “So y’all better come out now.” I said and everybody screamed so loud that for a second I thought I was deaf.

They all came running out and laughing. “Listen, bitch. You gotta do some special ass inviting for me the next time, okay?” Zane said to me while giving me a hug and I laughed. My fans must have heard it, because they all laughed like crazy. After giving all mu friends a hug, I looked at Alex. He stared me right in my eye and smiled at me. “I love you.” he said and a tear ran down my face. “I love you too.” I said, he picked me up and kissed me.

They all went crazy. “Wait!” David said and pulled his caera out. “CLICKBAIT!” all my friends scream, laughed and pulled out something they can record with. “Okay, now you stand here and you here. Pick her up, Alex!” Matt said and giggled. “Alright bitches. Take out your phones, we need some flashlights!” Heath said and cleaned the wires out of the way.

They all did as told and soon the crowd looked like a galaxy. “Perfect.” Jason said and sat down to get a better angle. After they all got their thumbnails, we took a selfie with my fans and I layed down. “Can we get a silence guys?” I asked them and everything went quiet. “Come here guys.” I said and they all layed down next to me. 

We layed there and I started humming my first song. “You guys weird as fuck, but I still love you!” a girl screamed and I laughed. “Love you too, boo!” and the crowd laughed. I started singing quietly and the crowd soon joined in with me.

Sometimes i just feel alone,

everything’s just too much

but when I look at you, oh baby

My heart’s full of lust

I never have to do anything on my own

“Because you’re my special lady..” Alex sang and I giggled. “You just made that up?” Gabbie asks and Alex laughs. “Well, shit..” Toddy said and we all laughed.

I continue singing the song and all my friends start singing along. Terribly, but they’re doing it. It’s the thought that counts. I’m so lucky to have them in my life. They’re always so supportive and caring right from the beginning. Specially Liza, I mean she has been my best friend for so damn long, we share a life together.

And Alex, I mean. How’s it humanly possible to be so amazing? I literally have no words to describe, how much he means to me, how much I care and how fucking much I love him. It’s just...wow.

“I’m so proud of you, baby..” he says. I look at him and I see a tear running down his face. I wipe the tear away and kiss him. “Don’t cry.” I say softly and the crowd aww’s again, we giggle. “I just love you so so so much.” he says and kisses me back. “Well lovebirds, I’m proud too!”  Matt screams and they all say “Me too!” That’s when I started crying too. Not like crying crying, but I felt a little emotional.

I stand up, wipe my tears away and smile at them. “Aw, baby!” Heath says and hugs me. “I love you guys!” I say. “Okay bitch, but you gotta stop tearin up and start singing.” Zane says and we all laugh.

Music starts playing infrom the speakers and we all start dancing. “I NEVER LIKED HIM, FUCK YOU FOR SAYING THAT HE CUTE!” David jumps and screams from on top of his luns. “HE UGLY CAN’T YOU SEE” Gabbie steps in. “FOR A LONG LONG TIME OH-OH” Kristen sings with Scotty. “I THOUGHT THAT I WAS STUPID.” Liza jumps into Davids arms and puts her arms in the air. “TURNS OUT I WAS NO-O-T” Toddy sing while taking of his shirt.

That’s when Jason and Mat step t the front of the stage. “NOW EVERYBODY ALL TOGETHER! DO. YOU. KNOW. THESE WOORDS!” At this point I gave up singing, stood back and watched this all go down. “YOU. CAN’T HA-A-VE ME!” Zane sings and dances like a pro. “Get it, bitch!” Heath screams from the back and claps his hands to the beat of the music.

It was so cool to know and see that they actually like my music and know the words to my songs. I’m pretty sure that they had to learn them by hard before the concert, because Alex told them to, but that’s okay. I giggle at the thought.

I open the door to my house and jump on my couch. “You did an amazing job!” Alex sais and jumps on me. “I didn’t know you could sing.” I said and he laughed. “I can’t, I just love you that much.” he said and kissed me passionately. I pulled him in closer and wrapped my legs around his waist. He stands up and starts walking to my bedroom. “Too far.” I said and he just puts me back down to the floor.

His tounge slippes by my lips asking for enterance and I gave it to him. I pull his shirt off and stare at his body. “You’ve seen me naked a thousands of times and you still act like it’s the first time.” he says and kisses my neck softly. “I just love you that much.” I said and he giggles. “I see, what you did there and I love it!” he murmurs, takes off my shirts and moans. “You are so fucking hot.”

I moan and kiss him putting all my feeling I have for him in that kiss, he moans in response. I turn around so I was now on top of him. That’s when the door opened. I quickly stand up and so does he. “Oh, we’re sorry, but go Alex!” Toddy sayd and I giggle nervously.

They all came to my place after the concert to superise me. They even had a cake! “It’s okay.” Scotty says and winks at Alex. They put cake down and sit down. “The show was amazing!” Liza said and hugged me. “Thank you! Thank you all for coming and being there to support me.

I really appreciate it, you’re all so cool.” they all smile. “It’s nothing, but a pleasure.” Jason says. “We love you.” Gabbie says and places her hand on my knee.

It was the coolest day of my life.

[surprisesidney]

🍑 Call Me By Your Name: questions and answers 🍑

1. Besides the dancing clip in the trailer, do we see Elio and Oliver dancing anywhere else? During their trip together, they go out wandering the streets at night, possibly drunk, and Oliver gives a repeat of his embarrassing white boy dancing to Love My Way by The Psychedelic Furs, which is being played from someone’s car.

2. What’s the balcony scene like before their first night? Are they both pretty thirsty at that point? The entire scene leading up to their first night together is so lovely. Oliver says he’ll meet Elio at midnight, so of course Elio spends the entire day checking his watch. And when he knows Elio’s seen the note, Oliver asks him “Hey buddy what time do you have?” as a little tease. The anticipation builds up so slowly and painfully that you’re aching for it just as much as they are by the time it happens. The camera does pan away before anything major happens but there’s still a lot of intimacy, so I don’t think anyone will be disappointed.

3. I’ve heard the first night scene is the longest love scene we see. Around how long are the other love scenes?? Before it cuts away, the first night scene probably lasts for about 5-10 minutes, from when they first meet at midnight. I don’t think any other scenes are comparable, there’s some more kissing and cuddling on the trip, but no proper sex scenes.

4. In your opinion, what was the most romantic moment in the movie? Or if there were a lot, you can pick more than one lol I’m a sucker for the little things. During their first night, Elio says “That was the shirt you were wearing the first day you were here. Can you leave it when you go?” and Oliver puts it out for him the next day with a note that says “To Oliver, From Elio.”

5. Does the movie show who’s the little spoon /big spoon? No spooning I don’t think, whenever they’re shown in bed together they’re usually facing each other, like in the “Call me by your name” scene.

6. How do Timmy and Armie look naked? 🙈 Armie has the body of a Greek god and an ass like a peach, of course. Timmy… Well he’s only 21, bless his heart (he’s actually 6 months older than me, but I digress).

7. Elio can be pretty bold and forward haha. Does he initiate most of their kisses? Does Oliver any initiate anything?  8. This may sound kinda strange…but who’s more dominant in the love scenes and how so? I think Oliver is probs more experienced than Elio in the bedroom. Does he lead them and how so? I’ll combine these since they’re pretty similar. Elio is definitely the initiator at first, because there isn’t really anything holding him back, whereas Oliver is a little more hesitant, which he explains when they talk on the balcony. Oliver definitely ends up getting into it though.

9. Thank our for answering all these questions! Seriously it’s helping me stay alive until the movie comes out lol. Just wanted to ask: what’s the sexual tension like when the boys swim together? Is there any flirting? No problem! It’s helping me remember so I’m happy to do it. There was one particular scene where they’re swimming together in the backyard pool, Elio is absentmindedly looking at his music sheets and Oliver asks what he’s thinking about. Elio says “Just my music,” which is a lie and Oliver knows it, so he probes him again, but Elio doesn’t want to tell him because newsflash: he’s thinking about you.

10. In the clip in the trailer where Elio impersonate Oliver saying “later!”, is Oliver sitting across from him at the table? He says it so cute and posh Actually no! They kind of make it seem like Elio’s just doing a cute impression in front of him, but he’s actually not at the table. Oliver was supposed to join them for dinner but never showed up, and Elio asks the others if they think the way he always says “Later!” is rude.

11. Is the emotional part of the peach scene the only time that Oliver witnesses Elio crying? 😭 I can’t wait to see Oliver being a comforting bf 12. Someone said Oliver rushes to help Elio after he throws up which is 😍 Are there other instances where Oliver is being a loving boyfriend? Combining these as well. Pretty sure that’s the only time Elio cries around Oliver, when he leaves Elio doesn’t cry until he’s in the car with his mother. But there are the moments after Elio’s nosebleed and after he throws up where Oliver is really cute and comforting. 

13. Hi! I heard there was a part of the film where a gay couple comes to the villa? And the dad says something about “is it because they’re gay or ridiculous”. Could you elaborate on that scene (if you remember it) thank you!! A gay couple who I think are old friends of the family come to visit, and Elio’s father wants him to wear a shirt that they’ve given him, but he refuses because it’s too big and he think it looks silly on him. When they arrive, Elio meets them after having been with Marzia, and when he goes back into the house, his father still wants him to put on the shirt. He starts yelling “They’ll think it’s just a set-up!!!” and then his father asks “Is it because they’re gay because they’re ridiculous?”

14. What are your fave domestic couple-y moments in the movie? ❤️ There aren’t really a lot of domestic kinda moments because even after they get together, they’re not super open about it. I love Oliver rubbing Elio’s feet while he’s nursing his nosebleed, just because it’s so sweet and loving. 

15. From the trailer we can see how Elio lusts over and longs for Oliver. Are there any moments where we see Oliver lusting over Elio? The film is still definitely told from Elio’s perspective, so we don’t really get much of a chance to see how Oliver expresses his feelings for Elio. I guess the maybe the last shot from the trailer, where he’s leaning toward Elio against a wall. He says something like “I wish there was no one around so I could kiss you.”

16. Who do you personally think is a better kisser: Timmy or Armie? Lol Unfortunately I have never kissed either of them so I couldn’t possibly say. They seemed on a pretty equal footing, judging from what I saw alone.

17. Can you tell us a little more about the scene where Elio throws up on their getaway trip? Like what does Oliver do? Xx I keep getting so many questions about the trip and for some reason that’s the part I remember the least. I think because it went by so quickly. So Oliver is grooving to Love My Way and Elio just kind of throws up, I don’t even know why exactly. Oliver has a similar reaction as with the nosebleed, rushing to his aid.

18. Besides the piano scene with Oliver, does Elio play the piano anywhere else in the film? Timmy did such a great job with it 🙌🏼 I think he plays about 2, maybe 3 more times other than in the scene with Oliver. I don’t play the piano but I think he did really well. I wouldn’t have thought he’d learnt it specifically for this role.

19. Hello, Before I ask I just want to say thank you so much for answering all those questions about CMBYN. Here’s a warning first: *****MY QUESTION IS A HUGE SPOILER FOR BOTH THE MOVIE AND THE BOOK*****!! So did they met again after the separation in Rome? Were they so old? What Elio looked like? Most of the flash-forward from the book is left out of the movie. In the last scene, Oliver calls Elio to say that he’s engaged.

20. Someone said there's a really memorable kiss on their getaway trip. Can you tell us more about that kiss, if you remember? Xx Arghhhh I’m sorry, I can’t remember much from the trip and it’s killing me. There were definitely a lot of intimate moments there so maybe I just can’t think of anything specific.

21. You saw CMBYN right? I'd appreciate it if you can say when Elio speaks French and Italian? Is it throughout the film? Does he only speak French with his mom? I'm French and Italian and I would love to know! Much love xox I am not great with languages but I’m pretty sure he spoke French more often than Italian (Timmy speaks fluent French but I believe he learnt some Italian for the role). I’d say the movie is about 80% English though.

[letitbrie]

All I want for Christmas is you! 

For @levittjoe + Nate

Can you believe it’s finally here? Our very first Christmas together and I’m so happy that are families get along well enough that we can share some of the holidays together because it wouldn’t feel right with you (and Nate). If I could have, there would have been about a hundred more presents in the package because you deserve so much more (Santa said you’ve been extra good!). 

Let’s start with the morse code socks though - I think is pretty self-explanatory but what you might not know is that the first time you suggested the classes is pretty much the moment I knew I was going to fall in love with you. And then you read the whole Harry Potter series with me and I was pretty much done for. Hence the robe, slippers and pajamas (in keeping with the socks and pj’s tradition) - it’s a magical adventure made only more magical because I got to share it with you. 

Next up is our adventure section! I never thought I’d meet anyone else that would actually get as much joy out of a binder rack, binders and paper but here it is. Obviously for all of our big plans, with extra paper to color code like the weirdos we are. My new favorite quote is “Oh darling, let’s be adventurers” so obviously when I saw this passport wallet, I had to get it for you - along with travel books for both Belgium and Germany. I thought we could spend sometime over the holidays plotting out the best spots we want to make sure and get to (around your work schedule, of course). And lastly, a journal so we can keep track of all of our adventures and never forget any part of it. 

And now on to the cheesy bit. I know Harry Potter is more or thing but I don’t think I would have survived the second season of Stranger Things without you, so these matching keychains (complete with your own key to my place, finally!) seemed appropriate in a lot of ways. When I saw this cutting board, I could not let it not be under the tree for you - not only are you the obvious cook of our dynamic duo but..Brie!!! Lastly, a little something for you and Nate to put on your tree when we get home. 

And now for my favorite little man - your dad told me you were big into Cars and you might not know that I have a slight obsession with pajamas so I wanted to welcome you to the club with a couple of your very own. Every boy wants actual cars though, right? Push around cars were not good enough for you, so I got you this ride-on one that your father is probably going to hate me for but as long as you like it, that’s what’s important! And lastly, your very own goat so whenever you’re missing Padma and Parvati, a little piece of them will be with you! 

I hope you both have a very Merry Christmas and the very best year in 2018. 

I love you, babe, thanks for not just putting up with my craziness but jumping in, feet first to do it all with me. Having you in my life has been the very best part of 2017 and I can’t wait to see what 2018 has in store for us.

xox Brie. 

[bthenoise]

Here’s The Best of 2019 As Picked By Members Of The Used, Periphery, Counterparts, Killswitch Engage, Grayscale & More

Well everyone, we did it. Somehow someway we all survived yet another 365 gloriously trying days on this place we call earth. In about two more weeks, we will officially begin a brand new decade with hopes of starting something beautiful and life-changing for the human race. Until then, we’d like to take a second to look back on some of the finer things that came out of 2019 – you know, like the best album, best song, best movie, etc.

Like we’ve done in years past, we’ve completely turned our year-end best-of list over to the artists we cover on a daily basis because let’s face it, their opinions are the ones we all really care about, right?

Right.

To check out what bands like The Used, Counterparts, Periphery, Killswitch Engage, Fit For A King, Grayscale, Atreyu, Wage War, Boston Manor and more have all been obsessing over for the past year or so, be sure to see below. We hope you enjoy this final list as much as we do and wish you all the most peaceful and positive holiday season ever.

Enjoy!

Jeph Howard and Dan Whitesides - The Used

JEPH HOWARD

Best Album of 2019: Sampa the Great - The Return And Knocked Loose - A Different Shade Of Blue

Best Song of 2019: “Blow Me” - from The Used and yes I’m biased.

Best Music Video of 2019: Wendall - “The Power of Wings”

Most Underrated Album of 2019: Sampa the Great - The Return. Her vibe reminds me of my favorite era of hip hop.

Best Movie of 2019: Dr. Sleep, great book too. Must have been tough rewriting the story just enough to mix both the book The Shining and the film adaptation Kubrick made and then making a movie based on both origins.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The OA season 3. So unfair that never happened.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Epstein was an inside job and also the cat playing the cell phone ring tone 😂

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: HodgePodge Superfest 2019 Indonesia, mostly because I got to hang with a couple family friends I haven’t seen in years.  

2020 New Year's Resolution: For 2020 I want to worry less about things I have no control over.

DAN WHITESIDES

Best Album: The Knocked Loose album A Different Shade Of Blue is great and so fuckin heavy! On the other side of things, the Billie Eilish album is really good front to back. Saw her live in Salt Lake and it was pretty sick.

Best Song: Honestly, it’s “Blow Me” by my band The Used. I’m not just saying that because it’s my band. It’s a great fucking song and it has all of my favorite elements in it.

Best Music Video: Blink 182’s “Darkside.” Love the stick tricks and the dancing kids.

Most Underrated Album: All the albums I liked in 2019, I rated them pretty high.

Best Movie: Dumb and Dumber has been the best movie every year since it came out. All the kids movies that came out in 2019 were good. I see them all. I didn’t really like The Addams Family though.  

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Atypical and Fuller House and I’m not fucking with you. I laugh out loud at Fernando every time!

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): When the deaf baby hears for the first time. I almost cried but I couldn’t because I’m a man and men don’t cry. Just playin! I did tear up a weeee bit.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Saw Rob Zombie and damn he puts on a great show. Back To The Beach was my favorite show I played in 2019. We did a cover of Linkin Park’s “Shadow Of The Day” at that show and it started raining. People were crying. It was nuts!

2020 New Year's Resolution:  I don’t really do resolutions but I wish people could just get along despite their beliefs. Life is too short.

Misha Mansoor - Periphery

Best Album of 2019: Mordial by Carbomb Best Song of 2019: “F it Up” by Louis Cole Best Music Video of 2019: “Genesis” by Devin Townsend Most Underrated Album of 2019: Forever, A Fast Life by Infinity Shred Best Movie of 2019: Jojo Rabbit Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Barry Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Gamer Girl Bath Water Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019:  Attended - Deadmau5 Cube V3.  Played - Sold Out London headliner at O2 Kentish Town 2020 New Year's Resolution: Drive more cars

Brendan Murphy - Counterparts

Best Album of 2019: Better Off - Reap What You Sow. Luke is probably the best songwriter I know personally. The album is an absolute fucking hit. I literally begged him to send me the masters before the album came out and I’ve listened to it non-stop since. Was hard to keep that album a secret. 

Best Song of 2019: Gotta go with what my Spotify wrapped tells me and aside from the 1975’s discography, my most listened to song of 2019 was “Slingshot” by Better Off. The song is amazing, the lyrics rock, chorus is fucking huge. Like I said, Luke can’t write a bad song. 

Best Music Video of 2019: I’ll be honest, it’s rare for me to watch any music video that doesn’t have the 1975 in it so I’m gonna go ahead and pick their video for “Frail State of Mind” because... I mean look at him, he’s so cool. If we could get away with making videos like that I might actually not dread shooting them haha. 

Most Underrated Album of 2019: BETTER OFF, YET AGAIN. ARE YOU SURPRISED? I don’t understand how they aren’t the biggest band on earth. 

Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar. I’m a total A24/Ari Aster fanboy and I love movies about freaky cults and this movie ticks all the boxes. It’s not as much of a “deep dive” as Hereditary, very surface level, but I mean it’s creepy and it’s shot beautifully and there’s flowers everywhere and in case you forgot I sing for Counterparts so it’s right up my fuckin alley haha. 

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Barry without question. Blake made me watch an episode when we were recording NLTL and I binged watched the show so hard I’d be up all night watching when I was supposed to be writing lyrics. Last time I was physically unable to stop watching a show was Lost, so that should say something. 

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): My own twitter hun xox 😘

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: I mean it’s hard to remember our shows because not only are they all fun, I’ve usually had a few chardonnays by the time we go on stage BUT one that stands out is the last day of Private Room 2.0 in Worcester... simply because for all of “Love Me” I didn’t have to say a fucking word, the crowd did the whole damn thing. I think there’s a video where I get so stoked I start screaming “YOU’RE GOD DAMN RIGHT” and jumping. It’s fun and honestly, it’s 10 fucking words don’t make me do it by myself. 

2020 New Year's Resolution: Stop accidentally calling my teacher “mom.”

Mike D'Antonio - Killswitch Engage

Best Album of 2019: He Is Legend - White Bat Best Song of 2019: He Is Legend - “Resister Resist Her” Best Music Video of 2019: Death Ray Vision “Just Let It Die” Most Underrated Album of 2019: He Is Legend - White Bat Best Movie of 2019: Joker Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The Mandalorian Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Yoda/Toyota meme Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Field Day played in Connecticut a few months back. 2020 New Year's Resolution: Refuse the new world order

Porter McKnight - Atreyu

Best Album of 2019: Angel Du$t - Pretty Buff Best Song of 2019: “The Dead Don’t Die” - Sturgill Simpson Best Music Video of 2019: Rammstein - “Deutschland” Most Underrated Album of 2019: The Act - The Devil Wears Prada Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Watchmen Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Paul Rudd “Look at us” on Hot Ones Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019:  Attended - Nothing More - New Orleans March 2019 Played - Mr’s Smalls Theatre - Millvale, PA  2020 New Year's Resolution: Establish a consistent physical art practice

Ryan Kirby - Fit For A King

Best Album of 2019: Just for the purpose of nostalgia, I am going to go with Shaped by Fire by As I Lay Dying. It doesn't re-invent the wheel but it's just some good ole metalcore that brings me back. 

Best Song of 2019: I absolutely cannot stop listening to "Masochist" by Polaris. This band is going to be huge!

Best Music Video of 2019: I feel like I have to say our own video for "When Everything Means Nothing" is the best strictly because we all almost died of hypothermia while getting sprayed by a fire hose.  

Most Underrated Album of 2019: I think The Valley by Whitechapel doesn't get talked about near as much as it should. Phil's cleans are fantastic and they keep bringing the heavy. 

Best Movie of 2019: I feel like this will be a lot of people's favorite movie but The Joker was an absolute masterpiece.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: This one is EASILY The Boys. It might be the most well-done superhero show OR movie ever made. Once you watch the first episode, you are sucked in.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): This one is really tough because at this point, I don't even know which meme is from what year. I guess I'll go with Baby Yoda since I know that’s 2019 but with a disclaimer: There are a lot of NOT funny Baby Yoda memes out there.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: The show in Cologne, Germany with As I Lay Dying was the biggest club show we had ever played, and at the same time, probably one of the best live performances I've ever seen. Amazing night.

2020 New Year's Resolution: I want to be able to run a half marathon with my dad. It’s pretty simple but he is out here running full marathons all the time and is double my age. I feel like I need to step it up.

Valentino Arteaga - Of Mice & Men

Best Album of 2019: Gideon - Out Of Control Best Song of 2019: Kublai Khan TX - “Self Destruct” Best Music Video of 2019: Ghostemane - “Bonesaw” Most Underrated Album of 2019: Ithaca - The Language of Injury Best Movie of 2019: Yesterday Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Cold Case Files Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Spotify Wrapped 2019 Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Wacken Open Air Festival 2020 New Year's Resolution: Eat less meat & make more music

Matty Mullins - Memphis May Fire

Best Album of 2019: Dermot Kennedy - Without Fear Best Song of 2019: Papa Roach - “Feel Like Home” Best Music Video of 2019: Asking Alexandria - “The Violence” Most Underrated Album of 2019: He Is Legend - White Bat Best Movie of 2019: Yesterday Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: This Is Us Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): @catatonicyouths IG Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Warped Tour in Atlantic City was LEGENDARY! 2020 New Year's Resolution: Write the best MMF record of our career

Nick Ventimiglia - Grayscale

Best Album of 2019: tryhard by The Band Camino and Fear Inoculum by Tool Best Song of 2019: "No Age" by Rich People Best Music Video of 2019: "Mantra" by Bring Me the Horizon was pretty wild Most Underrated Album of 2019: Third Eye Blind - Screamer Best Movie of 2019: Big fans of Us and The Irishman Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Peaky Blinders and Mindhunter Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Big fan of the Kawhi Leonard “Hey, hey, hey” memes. Really anything but that lady yelling at that fucking cat. Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Our headliner in Philly this past October at The TLA.  2020 New Year's Resolution: Rock harder than we did in 2019.

Cody Quistad - Wage War

Best Album of 2019: tryhard by The Band Camino Best Song of 2019: “See Through” by The Band Camino Best Music Video of 2019: “Resentment” by A Day To Remember Most Underrated Album of 2019: In Darkness by Varials Best Movie of 2019: Peanut Butter Falcon The Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The Office, duh Favorite Internet Moment of 2019: The Epstein memes kill me Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Can’t Say I Ain’t Country Tour: Florida Georgia Line, Dan + Shay, Morgan Wallen 2020 New Year’s Resolution: Write the best songs I’ve ever written, love on more people, and be healthier 

Boston Manor

Best Album of 2019: Death Is A Warm Blanket by Microwave. This record is the best guitar music to come out in years. As our contemporaries, Microwave is constantly challenging and inspiring us to make better art.

Best Song of 2019: “The Brakeman Has Resigned” by Microwave. This song could not be more relevant to us, both instrumentally and lyrically. It’s just fuckin’ perfect.

Best Music Video of 2019: “DIAWB” by Microwave. You get the point.

Most Underrated Album of 2019: Foreign Language EP by Can’t Swim. Always love to see friends changing up their riff game.

Best Movie of 2019: The Irishmen. I’ve watched it like three times in the van now and can’t choose which Tony is my favourite.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Rick and Morty. You son of a bitch, I’m in.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Eric Egan from Heart Attack Man.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Best concert we played would have to be Download Madrid. Right off the heels of ADTR in America, the airline lost our gear so we had to cobble together a backline and ended up playing after Tool to an insane amount of people.

2020 New Year's Resolution: Continue our world domination.

Mike Foley - Varials

Best Album of 2019: Feels Like You by Whirr Best Song of 2019: "Nothing Left To Love" by Counterparts Best Music Video of 2019: Tie between "Lips Like Lemonade" by Nick Prosper & "Mistakes Like Fractures" by Knocked Loose. Most Underrated Album of 2019: Deceiver by Diiv Best Movie of 2019: Joker Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: I Think You Should Leave Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Kombucha girl Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: The best show I attended was definitely the Balance & Composure farewell show in NYC. RIP. Best played was definitely the Atlantic City Warped Tour date. Also RIP. 2020 New Year's Resolution: Tour more internationally / spend as much time traveling as possible. Really hoping we make it to 3 different continents this year.

Kory Gregory - Prince Daddy & The Hyena

Best Album of 2019: Remembering The Rockets - Strange Ranger Best Song of 2019: “Mono No Aware” - Great Grandpa Best Music Video of 2019: “Must Be Wrong” - White Reaper Most Underrated Album of 2019: Super Enthusiast - Macseal Best Movie of 2019: Parasite Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Been really enjoying Mandalorian Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Baby Yoda forever and always. No questions asked. Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Our record release show in NYC was really special! That’s my favorite one I played. As far as the ones I attended, this Culture Abuse/Tony Molina show I went to in Boston was pretty legendary. 2020 New Year's Resolution: I just wanna keep writing songs that are better than the last!

Yvette Young - Covet

Best Album of 2019: The Japanese House - Good At Falling Best Song of 2019: “Shrugging Match” - Bobbing Best Music Video of 2019: Don Broco - “Action” Most Underrated Album of 2019: Town Portal - Of Violence Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: I Think You Should Leave Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Discovering bandmemes666, Chibson, catatonicyouths and allgasnobrakes on IG Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Orlando summer headliner show at The Soundbar 2020 New Year's Resolution: Make a dope full-length album

Carter Hardin - Chapel 

Best Album of 2019: Album of the year for me is KIN by Electric Guest. Every song is a bop and the production is so clean.

Best Song of 2019: I would have to say “Friends” by CHAPEL. The band is pretty cool and the song is a slapper.

Best Music Video of 2019: “Panini” by Lil Nas X is mine. It’s the most memorable one I’ve seen this year.

Most Underrated Album of 2019: Pep Talks - Judah & The Lion. Not enough people are talking about that record.

Best Movie of 2019: MARRIAGE STORY. This movie broke me & I can’t stop thinking about it.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Fleabag is amazing. you need to watch it.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Baby Yoda memes are the best memes in the world.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: I saw Cherub recently and they always put on the best show. This recent one was super inspiring.

2020 New Year's Resolution: Release more music

Alex Biro - Selfish Things

Best Album: The Act by The Devil Wears Prada. Genre-defying and innovative, this was one of my favourite albums of the last decade. I’ve been a TDWP fan since Zombie EP but the growth they’ve shown on their latest release while still staying true to their roots was sonically refreshing.  

Best Song: “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X. This speaks for itself. I’ve never been one to shy away from popular music, but it’s Lil Nas X’s “love everyone but fuck everyone” attitude that kind of impresses me most? He’s punk as hell. He breaks stereotypes. He pissed off 90% of the country music industry. I hope he continues to succeed.

Best Music Video: “bury a friend” by Billie Eilish. I mean, it’s been Billie’s year. We all know that. But the whole “monster under your bed” motif coupled with her wanting to not shy away from the dark side of things in a genre filled to the brim with bubblegum songs and visuals speaks to her innovation as a creative and an artist.

Most Underrated Album of 2019: Everyone I’ve Ever Loved by Valleyheart. This came out a week and a half before 2019 but I’m including it here. “Agnosia” is one of the best songs I’ve heard in years. This band is fucking amazing. Don’t sleep on them. They deserve better than they’ve been given.

Best Movie of 2019: Peanut Butter Falcon. Shia LaBeouf is a true artist, and he’s at the peak of his game here. If you’re a fan of Garden State, The Grand Budapest Hotel, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Rocket Science or any other emotionally devastating indie films, this is a movie for you.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: The Simpsons. God bless you Disney+. I can’t even put into words how nice it is to watch all of my old favourites with my daughter. Treehouse of Horror forever.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Colton jumping the fence during The Bachelor. We admittedly got snowed in during the “snow cyclone” in Wyoming and binged this whole season. I’ve never been more disappointed. Still impressed by his agility, though.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Atlanta, GA w/ Microwave, Boston Manor and Heart Attack Man. We’ve never had that many kids over the barricade. It was one of those “wow, maybe our band isn’t totally shit” moments. We all got off stage and knew it was one to remember. I’ll never forget it. 

2020 New Year's Resolution: Learn to be happy with who I am without letting the toxicity of social media cloud my self-perception.

Ryan Donovan - Red City Radio

Best Album of 2019: Mannequin Pussy - Patience. "Who You Are" & "Drunk II" are some standout tracks on that record for me! It's just filled with melodic anthems that have killer soft harmonies and is kind of a technically ambitious record compared to their older stuff, which I also love!

Best Song of 2019: The Menzingers - "America (You're Freaking Me Out)." They fucking NAILED it with this track and our current climate in the US, socially/politically/economically etc. They seamlessly always write some killer tunes!

Best Music Video of 2019: PUP - "Free At Last." No one had heard the song yet. They posted the lyrics and chord chart to the song and took all submissions of everyone's interpretation of the song and edited that down. You just gotta watch it for yourself, IT FUCKING RULES. Most Underrated Album of 2019: Decent Criminal - BLISS. I love this band and their tunes/sound. Small indy label release and I hope they take some more strides forward and keep growing. They rip.

Best Movie of 2019: Favorite movie I have personally seen so far this year is Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. I heard it was a lot of either "love it" or "hated it" kind of reviews but I personally thought it was a killer film.

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Ah man, with so much time on the road touring this year for RCR binge-watching older shows was a lot of my downtime when I got back home so here are some favs: Admittedly I had never seen Breaking Bad, that has now been binged and completed. Game Of Thrones (hadn't seen it until this Summer, I know, I know whatever). Animal Kingdom, Succession, Punisher, Jessica Jones and I Think You Should Leave.  

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): I LOVE THIS MEME and I do love pizza.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019: Probably the last show of our short tour with Hot Water Music over in Cologne, Germany. It was the largest capacity venue show we have ever played as a band - that wasn't a festival - at 4k humans, sold out! It was also extra special because Rockpalast had a 10+ human camera crew on hand and filmed the whole thing with live edits as it was streamed for anyone to tune in and watch. The edits and camera/audio/streaming quality was A+!!!

2020 New Year's Resolution: Better self-care.

Brett Boland - Astronoid

Best Album of 2019: HEALTH - VOL. 4 :: SLAVES OF FEAR Best Song of 2019: Dinosaur Pile-Up - Thrash Metal Cassette Best Music Video of 2019: Billie Eilish - “bury a friend” Most Underrated Album of 2019: Nightmare Scenario - Beyond What is Real Best Movie of 2019: Midsommar Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Succession Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Sonic The Hedgehog Movie debacle. Best Concert You Attended: Final Slayer show in MA Best Concert You Played in 2019: Exit 111 2020 New Year's Resolution: PUT OUT MORE MUSIC

Conversation

Best Album of 2019: Copeland - Blushing. I’ve been a huge fan of this band for years and years and years; to say that they shaped my songwriting is an understatement. I was lucky enough to catch Copeland for the first time on this tour and it was a truly tectonic moment for me. Blushing was a perfect step for this band in terms of tone, emotional maturity and instrumental creativity. I was just so happy to hear every single song.

Best Song of 2019: “Make It Better” by Anderson Paak. This track just puts you in a good mood!!

Best Music Video of 2019: Our music video for “You’ve Made Yourself Perfectly Clear” where we accurately and tastefully re-created the opening scene of Wayne’s World to perfection. I know it seems like a bit of a brag to say you had the best video of the year, but truth be told, nothing else even came close.

Best Movie of 2019: Joker - I’m sure this will be a pretty common response but IT WAS INCREDIBLE!!

Most Binge-Worthy Show of 2019: Letterkenny - A hilarious show about small-town Canada. If you don’t know, now you know.

Favorite Internet Moment of 2019 (Viral Video, GIF, Meme, etc.): Jonathan Frakes Asking Questions.

Best Concert You Attended/Played in 2019:  A close tie between Arkells at Scotiabank Arena and Barr Brothers at Mod Club

2020 New Year's Resolution: To tour all of the USA and Europe for our new record. We are all so excited for the new music that we’re about to put out into the world and our undying dream is to show our live show to the entire world. SO THAT’S WHAT WE’RE DOING!!!

[princessalethea]

Status of the Woodcutter Sisters

I’ve been putting off writing this post. When you read it, you’ll realize why.

Once a week or so, I get an email asking about the fate of the Woodcutter Sisters series.

The short answer: Get everyone you know to pledge their support to my Patreon. When I hit $2500, I will drop everything and finish writing the Woodcutter Sisters, as originally planned. (Seven books in total, Sunday – Monday…and yes, I know exactly what happens)

The longer answer: Harcourt still has the North American rights to the first three books in the series.

Back in 2014, I was dumped by my publisher and my boyfriend on the same day.

Harcourt had some big reorganization and everyone who ever worked on the Woodcutters left the company. In a way, getting dumped was a blessing–few authors have positive experiences working with a new editor after they’ve been “orphaned.”

It also paved the way for a project I’d pitched that they’d turned down: Writing a short novel based on what happened to Trix in Hero (a storyline they made me remove from the book entirely because “pacing”).

My goal was to finish Trix’s novel and use it to teach myself all the ways of this new-fangled “indie publishing.” I had launched my own small press back in 2005 (Nyx Books), but a lot had changed in the decade since I’d dipped my toe in the print-on-demand business. I did have a leg up, having owned a publishing company before and having a ton of contacts in the industry…but that also made it scarier. Because I knew just what I was getting myself into, and the superior level of quality I expected from my books.

And let’s be honest: mentally, after getting dumped, I felt like a Giant Failure. Plus, remember how 2014 was the year that a bunch of my close friends and family kept dying?

Yeah. One doesn’t exactly snap back from that.

It took a while to get off the ground, but eventually Trixter was published, along with Tales of Arilland (the fairy tale short story collection I’d pitched and gotten rejected) and a few other things. I even wrote a sequel called Trix and the Faerie Queen — not something I’d originally planned, but a plotline I realize I LOVED.

I started writing Thieftess (Thursday’s book). I even had a model do a photo shoot for Thursday’s cover. (Yes, we still have those pics. She is SO Thursday!)

I wanted to  get myself on better financial ground before I completely threw myself into writing the rest of the series. It takes a lot of head space to get into a series like the Woodcutters, and anxieties like “bills” and “utilities” and “credit card debt” and “car repairs” really chip away at that space. (I still have no car, btw. Haven’t for over a year.)

What I found out was: continuing to write in the world of Arilland wasn’t making me significant money. The reason? I don’t have the rights to the first three books. I can’t put them on sale, or make the first one permafree. I can’t offer them up for Bookbub deals.

I make 89.9 cents on every paperback copy of Enchanted sold (as opposed to $2-3 on each indie book sold). I get that money twice a year. And those books aren’t selling particularly well. Enchanted, Hero, and Dearest combined pull in about $2000 every six months. That’s not nearly enough to live on. The up side is, once the sales of those books fall below a certain threshold, I can have the rights back.

So you see my dilemma.

When I get my rights back for Enchanted, Hero, and Dearest, here is the plan:

–Reprint all of the books, with better covers. (I’ll keep the titles, because we’re in this too far to change them now.)

–Release an “author’s preferred edition” of Enchanted, that puts back in most of the 30,000 words the publisher asked me to take out. (A lot of this is about Prince Rumbold, which was published in Tales of Arilland as “The Cursed Prince.” A lot are deleted scenes I read on YouTube.)

–Audible is still interested in producing the rest of the series, when they are published, and Katy Kellgren is still interested in narrating.

What I am doing right now: I am writing.

I spent years teaching myself every aspect of indie publishing…and realized the hard way that I’d taken the wrong road by pursuing the Woodcutters. I ended 2016 broke, desperate, and still writing like mad.

I threw everything I had into my career, pulled out all the stops. Thus my recent (and awesome!) endeavors in Nocturne Falls, the “Once” anthologies, and The Simi’s ABCs book.

I also have plans to start a new series–comedy romance, like the books I write for NFU, but obviously more fairy tale based. In fact, I’ve seeded a bunch of characters and worldbuilding into my NFU books already…

Yes. I would like to at least finish Book Three of The Trix Adventures (Trix and the Fire Witch), but as of the writing of this post, my life is All Nocturne Falls All the Time. And traveling with Sherri. And narrating stories for ACX and IGMS. And doing about a thousand other things to try and bring in every penny I can, because I know how fickle this industry is, and I’m still not standing on financially solid ground.

So there you have it. The very long (and mildly depressing) answer.

I would love to be able to write the rest of the Woodcutter Sisters books. As a terminal optimist, I believe that one day, I will be able to. YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

In the meantime…buy a t-shirt! Buy Trixter or Trix & the Faerie Queen or Haven, Kansas! Or any of my short stories or audiobooks! Review them! Buy them for your local library! Share them with friends!

And please support me on Patreon!

All the love in the world,

xox

Alethea

The post Status of the Woodcutter Sisters appeared first on AletheaKontis.com.

from Status of the Woodcutter Sisters

[perfectionistincrisis]

My little bro

My brother left last night. 30th August, 02 15am. As I am typing this, he is still flying. It will take him about 30 hours in total to reach his dorm room. Around 28 hours till he reaches Edmonton where his uni is (University of Alberta) from where he will be received by people from the uni. 

I knew it will affect me when he leaves because every time I used ti think of him leaving it used to heart and my eyes used to get all watery. And i mean all watery, not just like a tiny drop of tear playing hide and seek in my eyes. But I had no clue at all that I would feel how I am feeling right now. And that is because I have never in my life experienced this ever before this very day. 

When he left, its like a piece of me is not with me anymore. I was sad and I was angry. I don’t know who I was angry at. Maybe I was angry because I am sad and also angry at someone, but I don’t know who. More like I wanted to be angry at someone but I don’t know on whom. And that sadness and anger slowly turns into emptiness and then I keep looking at his pictures and my heart shatters into a million pieces. To me, he is so young and innocent. I remember the first day I saw him in the hospital when he came to this world and I have seen him every single day more or less for over 21 years of my life right in front of my eyes and then suddenly he is behind a glass wall and then he is walking away and then he is out of sight & the next thing I know, if Allah wills, I will be able to see him again after 8 whole months. 

I look at pictures of him, and whenever I see his face I keep thinking of how his life will be completely different. It will honestly be a huge list if I begin to mention every single thing that will be different, and not just different but a significant transition indeed for him. And let me emphasize on the word ‘significant’ again. Honestly, this is how it comes in my head - The only thing he actually does not have to worry about is ‘cooking’ & a job for now. Or else as he reaches Canada, he has to do everything from making a bank account, and health insurance to his weekly laundries, waking up on his own for his classes ( I still don’t know if that will work out) and .. I just cant! I mean even the fact that he will have to grab his own breakfast from the cafeteria and no one will come and hand it to him hurts me. I guess I feel too much. But like I said, I never felt this way before. 

The moment my brother was out of sight at the airport and I realized that the next 8 months it is just the 4 of us here...

Suddenly, everything in this world, & I literally mean it.. Suddenly, every single thing in my entire life that has ever caused me pain or made me worried or is some crisis I am facing in my life right now seemed so small. So very small in front of the heart break I felt the moment I realized he left. None of my problems feels bigger than this situation I am facing. And that is when I realized how strong this bond of blood is. I can trade my world to see my baby brother happy and knowing that even if is not hitting him as much now (Well, he didn’t even reach his destination yet. So duh it will take a while) but there will be a million moments when he will feel sad and alone. And being aware of this fact kills me over and over again & if it were possible, I would ask Allah to trade that pain to me instead of ever letting him feel sad ever... But of course, that is so irrational. Lol. I mean life is not perfect. This world is temporary & these are tests from Him. Life comes with ups and downs and it is normal. And we have to do our best with all that we have and always be grateful Alhamdulillah. 

And then I realize that I am just his elder sister. But.. My mom.. I was always worried about how she will handle it. In fact, before my brother actually left, all these months, weeks, days, I was actually more worried about my mom handling the fact that he is leaving rather than the fact that he is actually leaving. So yeah.. My mom had been holding it inside of her for so long, that the moment we entered and sat in the car she just could not hold it any longer. My dad was at the store to get water bottles and my brother was saying good bye to the shop keepers of the shops right next to our building and my mom just cried out so loud in the car. And she has been crying out loud ever since. Her cries are even louder than mine when I get the episodes in the middle of the night at times.. But thank god, my brother wasn’t there right then. 

The moment my brother went out of sight, a piece of my heart, a huge piece just went away with him. It took me almost an entire minute to grasp the idea that only four of us will be leaving from the airport and that inshaAllah it will be eight long months before five of us can go back home together.. 

And then I realized that if this new feeling I am experiencing right now beats all my life’s crisis from over 21 years, then “How will my mother be feeling?” ~ Judging from the ‘way she raised my brother up’, I swear I can’t imagine what the answer to that question is.. But all I did is ‘hear’ the answer to that question in my mom’s cries.. But I must say, my mom is so strong mashAllah.. The way she keeps her pain to herself, always trying not to let it cause anyone else any trouble..

And then -finally- it hit me.. that if that is how I feel, and then there is how my mom feels, but all our love is nothing compared to how much Allah loves him... SubhanAllah. And the moment I realized that, all I want to do is keep praying to Him to look after my little brother so well.. and to help my mom find peace in my heart.. 

This is a very intense moment right now. It hasn’t even been 24 hours yet & my brother has not even reached his destination yet and all, and that is why all these feelings are hitting so hard.. I know this will never completely go away, but with time, inshaAllah it will be easier to handle. Although, I have talked about all the ‘hard to process’ feelings, we are not all literally sitting in four separate corners and grieving. We all talk, do regular stuff, and then talk about my bro, and track his flights and count hours, check time zones, laugh. Relatives and family friends keep calling from time to time and some came to visit to check in on my mom. Seeing mom over the years, everyone has an idea of how it will break her. Right now mom doesn’t answer all calls because she will burst out crying in between she knows, but I answer and update them about my bro. And some mom answers and yes, still can’t hold it together. But then she does stop crying and smile again. And laugh too. Everything will be okay inshaAllah <3 

To end. Some details about my brothers journey. It is from Riyadh to Milan, Italy (6 hours) where he spent 5 more hours at the airport and then got on the plane for Toronto, Canada (8 hrs 45 mins) - and right now from the tracking information, his plane has landed in Toronto. Right now, he is expected to be taking an interview and getting his actual student visa after which he will have to spend around 4 more hours at the airport before his 3rd flight to Edmonton (4 hrs) Once he reaches there, all he has to do is collect his baggage and get received by the people from his uni who will take him to his dorm. It will be around 11pm or 12 midnight by the time he reaches his dorm. And then his orientation starts the next morning at 8 30 am so he needs to be up at around 7 since he needs to get ready and walk to his campus which is around 10 to 15 minutes away. His orientation will be till 6 pm with a breaks in between though where he needs to take care of other things like making a bank account and getting a mobile sim card. He has one of his friends with him so that is a good thing!   

p.s. I really believe everything will be okay. I have complete trust in Allah. It is just that this is a totally new experience for us and it is very intense. 

Ahh. That’s it for now! 

xox

[charlicpace]

🖊+ sofia

SEND ME “🖊 + AN OC” AND I WILL TALK ABOUT THAT OC !

hi hello, thank you so much for sending this ! lowkey i feel like i might know who sent this ( my usual suspects were asleep and @ work respectively when i got this and i’m a Detective ) and if i’m Correct hi hello how u doin love your blog xox

this is she! if anybody thought this was gonna be eloquent or even,, Coherent, i’m sad to say you’re mistaken, bc i get too excited and just !!!!! words !!!! characters !!!! but this is my lauren lopez fc, sofia, and here’s a fun thing about her choice of fc: when i told my friend i was thinking of using her for the plot in question, i also sent her like a link to a couple of gifsets ( probably like,,, something from the judas interview or something?? ) to be like !!! look, cute !!!! and she replied saying she was glad i sent her the link bc she searched lauren’s name on this hellsite and the first thing that came up was a gifset from avpm from that scene where draco’s like ‘and you have to be my slave for a whole day staring now!!!!’ and voldy doing the Iconic ‘yOU LITTLE SHIT’ so … we were off to a good start from the beginning sjsjsjjns. but anyway, sof’s one of my favourites !!! she was made for a lost mumu, and essentially her story is that she was in australia with her boyfriend to meet and pick up said boyfriend’s nephew after the death of said boyfriend’s sister, and they were heading home with this three year old toddler sofia’s never met before when oops plane crash yikes. but i also play her in a regular ol’ town verse where everyone is happy and mr toddler ( whose name is panda and he’s iconic ) gets to stay with his mum ‘cause yay she’s still alive, and sof and her boyfriend get to have a nice relationship with her and panda and it’s a good time.  

pre-island ( or just,, regular ol’ times in town verse!! ) she’s a dance teacher ( which feels SO lazy since lauren’s a dancer, and usually i’m not someone who does that kinda thing but i liked it for sofia and it’s mostly a coincidence shsbsbshs ) who fell into Teaching accidentally after a lot of missed opportunities and things falling through professionally, but lowkey loves it. and just loves her life in general???? she’s happy??? loves her tree of a boyfriend??? honestly the one (1) time i keep a fc’s height for a character, it’s the one time their romantic partner ends up being an entire foot and four whole inches taller than them. it’s,, hilarious. 

look at that shit!!!! it’s ridiculous and i love it!!!! but they’re also rlly cute :’))) we love a loving, committed couple who don’t wanna get married but wanna be together anyway and both have the same wants in life and just seem to Fit, including a plan not to have kids until the suddenly get a three year old whoops. tbf he was like ‘this isn’t what we planned and what you want so if you want to leave it’s all good’ but sof was having none of that,,, even though she said a similar thing to him a couple years earlier when she found out some stuff about herself but ANYWAY. even if she hadn’t decided to stay she’d still be like BITCH WHAT KIND OF PERSON LEAVES SOMEONE JUST AFTER THEIR SISTER DIES but……..i digress. but sof’s always just been a kinda,,,, Get On With It person??? like she can just,,,, get on with things and accept it and move with it and carry on with life?? wish i could relate lmao. so she just accepts it as part of her life and moves on, and no matter what was going on with her internally she just kind of accepted that this was their life now and they’re gonna raise his nephew. and that attitude continues after the crash too??? like after the initial shock is gone, she’s Useful because she can just……. get on with it as best as she can??? it was kinda mean of me to purposefully make her birthday like a week after the crash and yet,,, here i am. but can i just say!!!! i don’t trust my friend to be kind to these three characters on the island!!!!! ya hear that @dulcerps I DON’T TRUST YOU NOT TO HURT OZZY ON THIS ISLAND. I DO NOT!!!!! panda is Safe but i still don’t trust you!!!! i feel like you’re up to somethin!!!!! snake!!!!!!

but anyway she went from living a gr8 life and going from being that obnoxious gym couple with her boyfren to fighting off Others and wearing the same pair of shorts for like two weeks straight in the beginning. all while trying to make this kid not hate her. she’d never really been around kids before panda?? it’s not to say that she doesn’t Like them, she just hasn’t been around them?? her brother is younger than her but they’re still close enough in age that they Grew Up Together and when he was a kid she was a kid too???? and they’re the youngest in the family pretty much, and none of her friends had kids yet or anything???? and the kids she teaches @ work are like,, pre-teens to teens, and she just talks to them like they’re adults and that’s her Thing and it’s why they like her??? like it’s the whole ‘u don’t treat me like a kid, you’re cool’ thing??? so she’s tryin really hard with panda but,,,,, eh, she’ll get there. even though she’s only now realising how much she swears, and that she can’t say his real name in a serious sentence bc she thinks it’s so ridiculous. 

anyway !!!!!! sof as a person !!!!! my daughter !!!! this is too long and ramble-y so i’m just gonna !!!!! basics !!!!! takes no shit !!!!! she does Not have time for people being buffoons !!!! a Brave soul !!!!! can be v emotional just as much as the next person but she hardly ever cries !!!! can’t relate my dude !!!! loves coffee but can’t really do caffeine anymore and she Luvs wine ( red, preferably ) but shouldn’t drink it bc it makes her sleepy !!!! either reads/watches really dark, twisted books/shows and loves a Thriller and something Twisty, or she’s watching the most light-hearted sitcommy stuff that’s all Laughs, and there is No in between!!!!!! bi legend!!!! tgwdlm was perfect for giving me gif material for sof, but it’s funny because sofia………..literally hates musicals. i made her like two years ago???? and yep she hates musicals. and she hates theatre kids shjbskhsbshs. she went to a performing arts college so she was Surrounded by the dreaded Theatre Kids and yikes it’s a no!!!! which is a shame because she has a GREAT belty singing voice that’s perfect for musical theatre and it just GOES TO WASTE ( other than @ work bc she also is a voice teacher/vocal coach just so she’s doing Something with it, u know??? ) like,,,,,,, other than that she sings in the shower and in the car and that’s It and i hate her!! and sofia is the reason i use a different fc for playing emma, bc then tgwdlm came along and i FELL IN LOVE with emma and oops lauren’s already in use. but yep sofia really is the girl that didn’t like musicals. a libra !!!! a gryffindor !!!! a type three !!!! an esfj !!! athletic legend who thought she might have to give up all her hobbies and potentially her job when she got sick BUT ALL IS WELL she’s fiiiine!!!! takes pole dancing classes for fun!!! can probably race you up a climbing wall and beat your ass no matter who you are, and despite the fact she’s an entire 5′0′’!!!! she can be such a stubborn little shit but that’s okay, she’s Soft really!!! anyway i’m gonna shut up now bc i feel for anybody who has to scroll past this Massive Wall of Ramble on their dash but tysm for sendin me this i loved rambling about sof !!!! :’))))