#love me aggos

[kaerinio]

ALSO thinking about dany wearing an open painted vest, sandsilk and horsehair trousers low on her hips, and huge medallion belts made of gold. thinking about her being called KHAL and STALLION and being so tiny while surrounded by her massive ko.

[esther-dot]

Hi! I just wanted to ask if you are one of the jonsas who think Jon and Dany won't be romantically involved in the books.

Well...

The streets grew emptier as they passed through a district given over to gloomy stone warehouses. Aggo went before her and Jhogo behind, leaving Ser Jorah Mormont at her side. Her bell rang softly, and Dany found her thoughts returning to the Palace of Dust once more, as the tongue returns to a space left by a missing tooth. Child of three, they had called her, daughter of death, slayer of lies, bride of fire. So many threes. Three fires, three mounts to ride, three treasons. "The dragon has threeheads," she sighed. "Do you know what that means, Jorah?" "Your Grace? The sigil of House Targaryen is a three-headed dragon, red on black." "I know that. But there are no three-headed dragons." "The three heads were Aegon and his sisters." "Visenya and Rhaenys," she recalled. "I am descended from Aegon and Rhaenys through their son Aenys and their grandson Jaehaerys." "Blue lips speak only lies, isn't that what Xaro told you? Why do you care what the warlocks whispered? All they wanted was to suck the life from you, you know that now." (ACOK, Daenerys V)

"Your Grace," he conceded, "the dragon has three heads, remember? You have wondered at that, ever since you heard it from the warlocks in the House of Dust. Well, here's your meaning: Balerion, Meraxes, and Vhagar, ridden by Aegon, Rhaenys, and Visenya. The three-headed dragon of House Targaryen—three dragons, and three riders." "Yes," said Dany, "but my brothers are dead." "Rhaenys and Visenya were Aegon's wives as well as his sisters. You have no brothers, but you can take husbands. And I tell you truly, Daenerys, there is no man in all the world who will ever be half so true to you as me." (ASOS, Daenerys I)

The dragon has three heads. There are two men in the world who I can trust, if I can find them. I will not be alone then. We will be three against the world, like Aegon and his sisters. "Was the night as quiet as it seemed?" Dany asked. (ASOS, Daeneryrs VI)

Three treasons will you know. Once for gold and once for blood and once for love. (ADWD, Daenerys VI)

Unlike show Dany, book Dany is a romantic, she does fantasize about being rescued, and she is interested in a guy even when he doesn’t particularly care for her. We now Euron wants her and potentially might harness a dragon, so it's possible by the time she and Jon meet, she's disabused of all this and they're only antagonistic. That doesn't really feel like Martin to me though?

His mantra has always been William Faulkner’s comment in his Nobel prize acceptance speech, that only the “human heart in conflict with itself … is worth writing about”. “I think that’s true of any fiction worth reading, that you’re really talking about people. And maybe it’s set in space or in a castle with dragons, maybe you set it in a suburban town where Dick and Jane live, or in some urban hell hole. Wherever you want to set your story, it’s still about people trying to make their decisions about what is right and what is wrong, how do I survive, questions of good and evil.”

I really doubt that he'd write a one-note dynamic. He inserted conflict into the healthiest canon relationship, he emphasizes the conflict within the Stark family, he likes complexity not merely theoretically, but it's what interests him, it's what he writes to explore. And here we have a series of quotes that set up Dany to trust someone (Jon) who has a preexisting loyalty to the Starks that will demand he act in their best interest which aligns with her prophesied treason (betray her for love of the Stark), and seeing all the Dark Dany foreshadowing, what she thinks of the Starks, it's clear they will not be friends.

Now, does Jon need to be romantically involved with her to spice up the two being at odds? No. Jon's time at the Wall has him trying to put aside his love for his family and accept his new "family," and no matter his oath or how many times he tells himself, he can't be swayed in his loyalty and love for the Starks. To me, it reads like a form of an idea that will add layers to his interactions with Dany. No longer is it merely an oath that is meant to make him loyal to "family", it's blood. It's actually family, long lost family, potentially, a new identity, not being a bastard, if he wanted it. The Watch allows him to rise up to Lord Commander, it would make sense for the Targ situation to offer him a high station too, as a form of temptation (not that it matters, he's obvy never gonna betray the Starks). Maybe we'll be lucky and it's only that.

But, we also have the Ygritte situation in which there is an invading force and even though he's sexually involved, he can't be swayed in his loyalty. To me, that too reads like prep for Jon's next "test" to be ramped up and even more trying, worse, much worse. How much "more" might we see here? I'm torn. I've read and liked different spec. If Stumpy is right and we get Jonnel x Sansa 2.0, Jon will already be married and there's just no way in hell Jon is cheating on Sansa, so blood relation vs the family that he grew up with may be it.

HOWEVER, if Jon is KitN, I don’t see how he goes South and puts himself in enemy hands, and if he isn’t, if he defends Sansa or Rickon’s claim, there’s a lot more tension because of what Dany could offer him. If Jon is not only accepted in the North but married to a Stark and king or warden or regent or anything official, imo, there's just not much tension there at all. If Martin wouldn't allow a clear-cut Jon vs FF, but wrote into that "the heart in conflict with itself" for Jon, I'm very doubtful he hasn't planned a similar trial for Jon with Dany/her invasion. Tension makes things fun, he likes making things emotionally difficult and morally complex. And let's not forget, Mance, the leader of the FF/the invasion is presented in a very Rhaegar-esque way, Dany sees herself as Rhaegar once, and Jon was meant to kill Mance. Doesn't bode well.

Also, we gotta look at that word "treason." Jon could be the king who knelt redux, Martin isn't in favor of needless war, a king sacrificing it all to save his people is admirable, and that would allow Jon's actions against Dany to be treasonous. And if we think of this from the Dany perspective, we would want to up the anti of her own feelings of betrayal. She "saved" (in her mind) Mirri, she trusted Jorah who claimed to love her, how can the last treason be worse, far more painful, the most painful? Someone who has sworn to her, ok. Family? Sure, but Viserys already abused her/was a threat. Lover? Well, we all know Daario is a fuckboi and doesn't care for her, so maybe, to make it truly suck, all three? The person she thought she was destined to meet/trust, family she didn't know she had, a potential husband, is her final betrayal? I think the stacking idea for both the relationship and the treason may be it.

I do not think Jon would willingly enter into a relationship with Dany. Unfortunately, that does not mean one will not happen. I don't think it's conclusive they will have sex, but Dany's tracks to Jon say "husband" (some would argue shadowy lover...), and Jon's experiences point to him betraying "family"/someone who loves him. IMO, the odds are it's a one-sided thing.

SO, my very rambling answer to a pretty straightforward question is, I am not. I am not sure that they will have sex, but I certainly think it's very likely Dany will want a romantic relationship as part of her Targ belief. It will end badly for her, as I talked about in the flies/"dead man's revenge" post, but I certainly think there's gonna be layers there, nothing simplistic.

[baelontargaryen]

DAENERYS TARGARYEN APPRECIATION MONTH 2022

↳ Day 14: Culture → Gods

Dany swayed along, studying the faces of dead heroes and forgotten kings. She wondered if the gods of burned cities could still answer prayers. (AGOT, Daenerys VI)

~

Her words were a knife through Dany’s breast. What had she ever done to make the gods so cruel? She had finally found a safe place, had finally tasted love and hope. She was finally going home. And now to lose it all... “No,” she pleaded. “Save him, and I will free you, I swear it. You must know a way... some magic, some... ” (AGOT, Daenerys VIII)

~

“No,” Dany whispered as tears ran down her cheeks. “No, please, gods hear me, no.” (AGOT, Daenerys VIII)

~

She tried to crawl toward the tent, but Cohollo caught her. Fingers in her hair, he pulled her head back and she felt the cold touch of his knife at her throat. “My baby,” she screamed, and perhaps the gods heard, for as quick as that, Cohollo was dead. Aggo’s arrow took him under the arm, to pierce his lungs and heart. (AGOT, Daenerys VIII)

~

If I look back I am lost. “It was a cruel fate,” Dany said, “yet not so cruel as Mago’s will be. I promise you that, by the old gods and the new, by the lamb god and the horse god and every god that lives. I swear it by the Mother of Mountains and the Womb of the World. Before I am done with them, Mago and Ko Jhaqo will plead for the mercy they showed Eroeh.” (AGOT, Daenerys IX)

~

The deeper they rode into the waste, the smaller the pools became, while the distance between them grew. If there were gods in this trackless wilderness of stone and sand and red clay, they were hard dry gods, deaf to prayers for rain. (ACOK, Daenerys I)

~

Her father had been slain before she was born, and her splendid brother Rhaegar as well. Her mother had died bringing her into the world while the storm screamed outside. Gentle Ser Willem Darry, who must have loved her after a fashion, had been taken by a wasting sickness when she was very young. Her brother Viserys, Khal Drogo who was her sun-and-stars, even her unborn son, the gods had claimed them all. They will not have my dragons, Dany vowed. They will not. (ACOK, Daenerys I)

~

“It may be as you say, blood of my blood,” Dany replied gravely, “but he shall have a new name for this new life. I would name them all for those the gods have taken. The green one shall be Rhaegal, for my valiant brother who died on the green banks of the Trident. The cream-and-gold I call Viserion. Viserys was cruel and weak and frightened, yet he was my brother still. His dragon will do what he could not.” (ACOK, Daenerys I)

~

“Fruit and water and shade,” Dany said, her cheeks sticky with peach juice. “The gods were good to bring us to this place.” (ACOK, Daenerys I)

~

Dany said a quick prayer, begging the Warrior for courage and the Dothraki horse god for strength. She made herself walk forward. (ACOK, Daenerys IV)

~

“The gods are good!” Dany said. “You see, Jorah? We are on our way once more.” (ASOS, Daenerys I)

~

Dany sometimes felt like a god, living atop the highest mountain in the world.

Do all gods feel so lonely? Some must, surely. (ASOS, Daenerys VI)

~

“Perhaps your gods can help us. Ask them to send a gale and sweep the galleys from the bay.” (ADWD, Daenerys IV)

~

Dany pushed her food about her plate. “And who would the gods of Ghis have me take as my king and consort?” (ADWD, Daenerys IV)

~

She did not want to believe that. “He was one man. One sick man with an arrow in his leg. A horse brought him here, not a god.” A pale mare. Dany rose abruptly. “I thank you for your counsel and for all that you did for this poor man.” (ADWD, Daenerys V)

~

Dany closed her eyes. Gods, she prayed, you took Khal Drogo, who was my sun-and-stars. You took our valiant son before he drew a breath. You have had your blood of me. Help me now, I pray you. Give me the wisdom to see the path ahead and the strength to do what I must to keep my children safe.

The gods did not respond. (ADWD, Daenerys V)

~

Dany gazed across the camp, to the many-colored brick walls of Meereen. The air was thick with flies and cries. “The gods have sent this pestilence to humble me. So many dead … I will not have them eating corpses.” She beckoned Aggo closer. “Ride to the gates and bring me Grey Worm and fifty of his Unsullied.” (ADWD, Daenerys VI)

~

In Westeros the septons spoke of seven hells and seven heavens, but the Seven Kingdoms and their gods were far away. If she died here, Dany wondered, would the horse god of the Dothraki part the grass and claim her for his starry khalasar, so she might ride the nightlands beside her sun-and-stars? Or would the angry gods of Ghis send their harpies to seize her soul and drag her down to torment? (ADWD, Daenerys IX)

[istumpysk]

Operation Stumpy Re-Read

ADWD: The Queensguard (Barristan I) [Chapter 55]

Welcome to Part II of the LOCUSTS MYSTERIES.

Click for Part I.

"You were the queen's man," said Reznak mo Reznak. "The king desires his own men about him when he holds court."

I am the queen's man still. Today, tomorrow, always, until my last breath, or hers.

God please shut the fuck up.

+.+.+

Barristan Selmy refused to believe that Daenerys Targaryen was dead.

Perhaps that was why he was being put aside.

"Wait for it" will not prepare you for the nonsense that's coming.

+.+.+

One by one, Hizdahr removes us all. Strong Belwas lingered at the door of death in the temple, under the care of the Blue Graces … though Selmy half suspected they were finishing the job those honeyed locusts had begun. 

Why? Is there a single thing you could point to that would justify that belief?

+.+.+

Skahaz Shavepate had been stripped of his command. The Unsullied had withdrawn to their barracks. Jhogo, Daario Naharis, Admiral Groleo, and Hero of the Unsullied remained hostages of the Yunkai'i. Aggo and Rakharo and the rest of the queen's khalasar had been dispatched across the river to search for their lost queen. Even Missandei had been replaced; the king did not think it fit to use a child as his herald, and a onetime Naathi slave at that. And now me.

The more George amplifies Bad Guy Hizdahr, the uglier his death will be.

+.+.+

And this mistrust was mutual. Hizdahr zo Loraq might be his queen's consort, but he would never be his king.

Perhaps that was why he was being put aside.

Yeah, I wonder why Hizdahr wouldn't want you protecting him.

+.+.+

"If His Grace wishes for me to remove myself from court …"

"His Radiance," the seneschal corrected. 

x

"Might I know which men His Grace has chosen to protect him?"

x

"May they defend His Grace against all threats." Ser Barristan's tone gave no hint of his true feelings; he had learned to hide such back in King's Landing years ago.

"His Magnificence," Reznak mo Reznak stressed. 

x

"I am His Grace's to command."

"Not Grace," the seneschal complained. "That style is Westerosi. His Magnificence, His Radiance, His Worship."

His Vanity would fit better. "As you say."

I'm sorry, we're going to have to address this before we can move on.

This is so fucking obnoxious, it makes Daenerys look like the world's greatest xenophile.

He's not just refusing to use the proper title, he's actually insulting Hizdahr zo Loraq.

"A whore, you mean."

"They call them Graces. They come in different colors. The red ones are the only ones who fuck." - The Dragontamer, ADWD

The Graces are priestesses of the Ghiscari region. Some of them are prostitutes. There's no vanity, Reznak is requesting common fucking courtesy.

Pay attention to how Reznak mo Reznak addresses Barristan Selmy, despite knighthood not existing in Meereen.

Surely you can understand that, ser.

Your other duties shall remain unchanged, ser. 

Incredible how easy it is to be respectful.

+.+.+

"No, no, no, you misunderstand me. His Worship is to receive a delegation from the Yunkai'i, to discuss the withdrawal of their armies. They may ask for … ah … recompense for those who lost their lives to the dragon's wroth. A delicate situation. The king feels it will be better if they see a Meereenese king upon the throne, protected by Meereenese warriors. Surely you can understand that, ser."

I understand more than you know. 

HAHAHAHA.

no.

You are a clever imp, just as Varys said, and Daenerys will have need of clever men about her. Ser Barristan is a valiant knight and true; but none, I think, has ever called him cunning. - Tyrion II, ADWD

+.+.+

"Might I know which men His Grace has chosen to protect him?"

Reznak mo Reznak smiled his slimy smile. "Fearsome fighters, who love His Worship well. Goghor the Giant. Khrazz. The Spotted Cat. Belaquo Bonebreaker. Heroes all."

Pit fighters all. Ser Barristan was unsurprised. 

Slaves. They're slaves.

+.+.+

Hizdahr zo Loraq sat uneasily on his new throne. It had been a thousand years since Meereen last had a king, and there were some even amongst the old blood who thought they might have made a better choice than him. 

Gosh it almost sounds like now would be a bad time to kill his wife.

+.+.+

And the king's protectors grew fewer every day. Hizdahr's blunder with Grey Worm had cost him the Unsullied. When His Grace had tried to put them under the command of a cousin, as he had the Brazen Beasts, Grey Worm had informed the king that they were free men who took commands only from their mother. As for the Brazen Beasts, half were freedmen and the rest shavepates, whose true loyalty might still be to Skahaz mo Kandaq. The pit fighters were King Hizdahr's only reliable support, against a sea of enemies.

I'm not about to defend his decision to try and takeover the Unsullied.

+.+.+

"May they defend His Grace against all threats." Ser Barristan's tone gave no hint of his true feelings; he had learned to hide such back in King's Landing years ago.

Perhaps that was why he was being put aside.

+.+.+

"Your other duties shall remain unchanged, ser. Should this peace fail, His Radiance would still wish for you to command his forces against the enemies of our city."

He has that much sense, at least. Belaquo Bonebreaker and Goghor the Giant might serve as Hizdahr's shields, but the notion of either leading an army into battle was so ludicrous that the old knight almost smiled.

Slaves. They're slaves.

+.+.+

This time his oily smile betokened dismissal. Ser Barristan took his leave, grateful to leave the stench of the seneschal's perfume behind him. A man should smell of sweat, not flowers.

Amazed you can even smell him with all that brown on your nose.

This (not the) perfumed seneschal is a walking dead guy.

+.+.+

The Great Pyramid of Meereen was eight hundred feet high from base to point. The seneschal's chambers were on the second level. The queen's apartments, and his own, occupied the highest step. A long climb for a man my age, Ser Barristan thought, as he started up. He had been known to make that climb five or six times a day on the queen's business, as the aches in his knees and the small of his back could attest. There will come a day when I can no longer face these steps, he thought, and that day will be here sooner than I would like.

Eight hundred feet? What the hell is George R. R. Martin smoking?

He's Cressen!

To reach him they must cross the gallery, pass through the middle and inner walls with their guardian gargoyles and black iron gates, and ascend more steps than Cressen cared to contemplate. Young men climbed steps two at a time; for old men with bad hips, every one was a torment. - Prologue, ACOK

+.+.+

Mezzara, Miklaz, Qezza, and the rest of the queen's young cupbearers—hostages in truth, but both Selmy and the queen had become so fond of them that it was hard for him to think of them that way—had gone with the king, whilst Irri and Jhiqui departed with the other Dothraki.

I bet they haven't forgotten.

+.+.+

Only Missandei remained, a forlorn little ghost haunting the queen's chambers at the apex of the pyramid.

So she's kinda like a ghost in Pyramid?

+.+.+

The Yunkishmen burning their dead, he realized. The pale mare is galloping through their siege camps. Despite all the queen had done, the sickness had spread, both within the city walls and without. Meereen's markets were closed, its streets empty. King Hizdahr had allowed the fighting pits to remain open, but the crowds were sparse. The Meereenese had even begun to shun the Temple of the Graces, reportedly.

The slavers will find some way to blame Daenerys for that as well, Ser Barristan thought bitterly.

A leader should not take credit when things go right if they are not willing to accept responsibility when things go wrong.

+.+.+

Forty-seven years, and the taste still lingered in his memory, yet he could not have said what he had supped on ten days ago if all seven kingdoms had depended on it. Boiled dog, most like. Or some other foul dish that tasted no better.

You are such a twat.

+.+.+

Ten years ago I would have sensed what Daenerys meant to do. Ten years ago I would have been quick enough to stop her. Instead he had stood befuddled as she leapt into the pit, shouting her name, then running uselessly after her across the scarlet sands. I am become old and slow. Small wonder Naharis mocked him as Ser Grandfather. Would Daario have moved more quickly if he had been beside the queen that day? Selmy thought he knew the answer to that, though it was not one he liked.

Too slow, old man?

If he is anywhere near her when she dies I will climax right then and there.

+.+.+

Her hair was aflame. She had the whip in her hand and she was shouting, then she was on the dragon's back, flying. 

+.+.+

Beyond the gates had been a solid press of people. Maddened by the smell of dragon, horses below reared in terror, lashing out with iron-shod hooves. Food stalls and palanquins alike were overturned, men knocked down and trampled. Spears were thrown, crossbows were fired. Some struck home. The dragon twisted violently in the air, wounds smoking, the girl clinging to his back. Then he loosed the fire.

It had taken the rest of the day and most of the night for the Brazen Beasts to gather up the corpses. The final count was two hundred fourteen slain, three times as many burned or wounded. 

TWO HUNDRED FOURTEEN?

He's already dracarys'd two hundred fourteen people with her mounted on his back?

She better hope I don't find any evidence she said the word.

+.+.+

Some swore they saw her fall. Others insisted that the dragon had carried her off to devour her. They are wrong.

That's true, actually.

+.+.+

"She might be flying home," he told himself, aloud.

"No," murmured a soft voice behind him. "She would not do that, ser. She would not go home without us."

Ser Barristan turned. "Missandei. Child. How long have you been standing there?"

"Not long. This one is sorry if she has disturbed you." She hesitated. 

Not Barristan Selmy being caught off guard by Missandei paragraphs after he contemplates whether he's too old and slow.

+.+.+

"Skahaz mo Kandaq wishes words with you."

"The Shavepate? You spoke with him?" That was rash, rash. The enmity ran deep between Shakaz and the king, and the girl was clever enough to know that. Skahaz had been outspoken in his opposition to the queen's marriage, a fact Hizdahr had not forgotten. "Is he here? In the pyramid?"

"When he wishes. He comes and goes, ser."

Yes. He would. "Who told you he wants words with me?"

"A Brazen Beast. He wore an owl mask."

He wore an owl mask when he spoke to you. By now he could be a jackal, a tiger, a sloth. Ser Barristan had hated the masks from the start and never more than now. Honest men should never need to hide their faces. And the Shavepate …

Skahaz of many faces coming and going as he pleases. Love the sound of that.

Honest men should never need to hide their faces.

Lol.

+.+.+

He did not like the taste of this. It smelled of deceit, of whispers and lies and plots hatched in the dark, all the things he'd hoped to leave behind with the Spider and Lord Littlefinger and their ilk. Barristan Selmy was not a bookish man,

We can tell.

+.+.+

but he had often glanced through the pages of the White Book, where the deeds of his predecessors had been recorded. Some had been heroes, some weaklings, knaves, or cravens. Most were only men—quicker and stronger than most, more skilled with sword and shield, but still prey to pride, ambition, lust, love, anger, jealousy, greed for gold, hunger for power, and all the other failings that afflicted lesser mortals. The best of them overcame their flaws, did their duty, and died with their swords in their hands. The worst …

The worst were those who played the game of thrones. "Can you find this owl again?" he asked Missandei.

"This one can try, ser."

"Tell him I will speak with … with our friend … after dark, by the stables." 

Exactly what Barristan Selmy is about to do.

There you have it, in his own words, the worst of the Kingsguard.

+.+.+

Missandei turned as if to go, then paused a moment and said, "It is said that the Yunkai'i have ringed the city all about with scorpions, to loose iron bolts into the sky should Drogon return."

Ser Barristan had heard that too. "It is no simple thing to slay a dragon in the sky. In Westeros, many tried to bring down Aegon and his sisters. None succeeded."

That was three hundred years ago.

Weapons evolve over time. Dragons haven't.

+.+.+

Aegon's son Jaehaerys had bestowed the white cloak on him when he was three-and-twenty, after he slew Maelys the Monstrous during the War of the Ninepenny Kings. In that same cloak he had stood beside the Iron Throne as madness consumed Jaehaerys's son Aerys. Stood, and saw, and heard, and yet did nothing.

But no. That was not fair. He did his duty. Some nights, Ser Barristan wondered if he had not done that duty too well. He had sworn his vows before the eyes of gods and men, he could not in honor go against them … but the keeping of those vows had grown hard in the last years of King Aerys's reign. He had seen things that it pained him to recall, and more than once he wondered how much of the blood was on his own hands.

It's unreal he has so much disdain for Jaime Lannister.

I'm allowed to hate Jaime Lannister, Barristan Selmy is not.

+.+.+

If he had not gone into Duskendale to rescue Aerys from Lord Darklyn's dungeons, the king might well have died there as Tywin Lannister sacked the town. Then Prince Rhaegar would have ascended the Iron Throne, mayhaps to heal the realm. Duskendale had been his finest hour, yet the memory tasted bitter on his tongue.

It was his failures that haunted him at night, though. Jaehaerys, Aerys, Robert. Three dead kings.

God damn your life has been pointless.

+.+.+

Rhaegar, who would have been a finer king than any of them. Princess Elia and the children. Aegon just a babe, Rhaenys with her kitten. Dead, every one, yet he still lived, who had sworn to protect them. And now Daenerys, his bright shining child queen. She is not dead. I will not believe it.

Me thinks Barry is going to have to convince himself Aegon is not real.

+.+.+

Afternoon brought Ser Barristan a brief respite from his doubts. He spent it in the training hall on the pyramid's third level, working with his boys, teaching them the art of sword and shield, horse and lance … and chivalry, the code that made a knight more than any pit fighter. 

Slaves. They're slaves.

+.+.+

With no king to guard, I will have more time to train them now, he realized as he walked from pair to pair, watching them go at one another with blunted swords and spears with rounded heads. Brave boys. Baseborn, aye, but some will make good knights, and they love the queen. If not for her, all of them would have ended in the pits. King Hizdahr has his pit fighters, but Daenerys will have knights.

Slaves. They're slaves.

Why do you have so much contempt for these slaves?

+.+.+

He kept his sword and dagger. This could still be some trap. He had little trust in Hizdahr and less in Reznak mo Reznak. The perfumed seneschal could well be part of this, trying to lure him into a secret meeting so he could sweep up him and Skahaz both and charge them with conspiring against the king. 

Reznak mo Reznak has yet to do a single thing wrong in this book.

#JusticeforReznak

+.+.+

If the Shavepate speaks treason, he will leave me no choice but to arrest him. Hizdahr is my queen's consort, however little I may like it. My duty is to him, not Skahaz.

Wait for it.

+.+.+

Or was it?

The first duty of the Kingsguard was to defend the king from harm or threat. The white knights were sworn to obey the king's commands as well, to keep his secrets, counsel him when counsel was requested and keep silent when it was not, serve his pleasure and defend his name and honor. Strictly speaking, it was purely the king's choice whether or not to extend Kingsguard protection to others, even those of royal blood. Some kings thought it right and proper to dispatch Kingsguard to serve and defend their wives and children, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins of greater and lesser degree, and occasionally even their lovers, mistresses, and bastards. But others preferred to use household knights and men-at-arms for those purposes, whilst keeping their seven as their own personal guard, never far from their sides.

Ahem.

Look at honorable Barristan Selmy desperately searching for justification to skirt his duty.

+.+.+

Then a shadow detached itself from inside an empty stall and became another Brazen Beast, clad in pleated black skirt, greaves, and muscled breastplate. "A cat?" said Barristan Selmy when he saw the brass beneath the hood. When the Shavepate had commanded the Brazen Beasts, he had favored a serpent's-head mask, imperious and frightening.

"Cats go everywhere," replied the familiar voice of Skahaz mo Kandaq. "No one ever looks at them."

Please don't tell me he's wearing a cat mask.

Please don't tell me the man who may have attempted to assassinate Daenerys is wearing a cat mask.

LMAO.

+.+.+

"If Hizdahr should learn that you are here …"

"Who will tell him? Marghaz? Marghaz knows what I want him to know. The Beasts are still mine. Do not forget it."

Oops, oops. Who surrounded Daenerys the day the fighting pits reopened?

At the base of the Great Pyramid, Ser Barristan awaited them beside an ornate open palanquin, surrounded by Brazen Beasts. Ser Grandfather, Dany thought. Despite his age, he looked tall and handsome in the armor that she'd given him. "I would be happier if you had Unsullied guards about you today, Your Grace," the old knight said, as Hizdahr went to greet his cousin. "Half of these Brazen Beasts are untried freedmen." And the other half are Meereenese of doubtful loyalty, he left unsaid. Selmy mistrusted all the Meereenese, even shavepates.

[...]

"A mask can hide many things, Your Grace. Is the man behind the owl mask the same owl who guarded you yesterday and the day before? How can we know?" - Daenerys IX, ADWD

+.+.+

"I have the poisoner."

"Who?"

"Hizdahr's confectioner. His name would mean nothing to you. The man was just a catspaw. The Sons of the Harpy took his daughter and swore she would be returned unharmed once the queen was dead. Belwas and the dragon saved Daenerys. No one saved the girl. She was returned to her father in the black of night, in nine pieces. One for every year she lived."

Hey stupid, ask him why they would kill the daughter if half the city believes Daenerys is dead.

He could almost hear them whispering—Great Masters, Sons of the Harpy, Yunkai'i, all telling one another that his queen was dead. Half of the city believed it, though as yet they did not have the courage to say such words aloud. 

+.+.+

"Why?" Doubts gnawed at him. "The Sons had stopped their killing. Hizdahr's peace—"

"—is a sham. Not at first, no. The Yunkai'i were afraid of our queen, of her Unsullied, of her dragons. This land has known dragons before. Yurkhaz zo Yunzak had read his histories, he knew. Hizdahr as well. Why not a peace? Daenerys wanted it, they could see that. Wanted it too much. She should have marched to Astapor." Skahaz moved closer. "That was before. The pit changed all. Daenerys gone, Yurkhaz dead. In place of one old lion, a pack of jackals. Bloodbeard … that one has no taste for peace. And there is more. Worse. Volantis has launched its fleet against us."

In other words, the peace was real?

Hey stupid, ask him why the locusts were poisoned before Drogon touched down in the fighting pits.

+.+.+

"Volantis." Selmy's sword hand tingled. We made a peace with Yunkai. Not with Volantis.

The peace deal with Yunkai allows for slave trade to continue everywhere but Meereen. Volantis launched their fleet because Daenerys destroyed the slave trade.

I can't know for sure, but I think war could have been avoided once they arrived.

This arrogant child has taken it upon herself to smash the slave trade, but that traffic was never confined to Slaver's Bay. It was part of the sea of trade that spanned the world, and the dragon queen has clouded the water. - Tyrion VI, ADWD

+.+.+

"You are certain?" "Certain. The Wise Masters know. So do their friends. The Harpy, Reznak, Hizdahr. This king will open the city gates to the Volantenes when they arrive. All those Daenerys freed will be enslaved again. Even some who were never slaves will be fitted for chains. You may end your days in a fighting pit, old man. Khrazz will eat your heart."

His head was pounding. "Daenerys must be told."

Lying. There's still a contingent of Yunkish lords who wish to honor the peace deal.

Poor old Yezzan. The lord of suet was not so bad as masters went. Sweets had been right about that. Serving at his nightly banquets, Tyrion had soon learned that Yezzan stood foremost amongst those Yunkish lords who favored honoring the peace with Meereen. - Tyrion XI, ADWD

x

"No. Have the Yunkishmen chosen a new commander?"

"The council of masters has been unable to agree. Yezzan zo Qaggaz had the most support, but now he's died as well. - The Spurned Suitor, ADWD

+.+.+

Skahaz grasped his forearm. His fingers felt like iron. "We cannot wait for her. I have spoken with the Free Brothers, the Mother's Men, the Stalwart Shields. They have no trust in Loraq. We must break the Yunkai'i. But we need the Unsullied. Grey Worm will listen to you. Speak to him."

"To what end?" He is speaking treason. Conspiracy.

If the Shavepate speaks treason, he will leave me no choice but to arrest him. Hizdahr is my queen's consort, however little I may like it. My duty is to him, not Skahaz.

+.+.+

"Life." The Shavepate's eyes were black pools behind the brazen cat mask. "We must strike before the Volantenes arrive. Break the siege, kill the slaver lords, turn their sellswords. The Yunkai'i do not expect an attack. I have spies in their camps. There's sickness, they say, worse every day. Discipline has gone to rot. The lords are drunk more oft than not, gorging themselves at feasts, telling each other of the riches they'll divide when Meereen falls, squabbling over primacy. Bloodbeard and the Tattered Prince despise each other. No one expects a fight. Not now. Hizdahr's peace has lulled us to sleep, they believe."

"Daenerys signed that peace," Ser Barristan said. "It is not for us to break it without her leave."

Astonishing how often this man calls for blood.

The Shavepate has a harder heart than mine. They had fought about the hostages half a dozen times. "The Sons of the Harpy are laughing in their pyramids," Skahaz said, just this morning. "What good are hostages if you will not take their heads?" - Daenerys IV, ADWD

x

Dany studied the scroll. All the ruling families of Meereen were named: Hazkar, Merreq, Quazzar, Zhak, Rhazdar, Ghazeen, Pahl, even Reznak and Loraq. "What am I to do with a list of names?"

"Every man on that list has kin within the city. Sons and brothers, wives and daughters, mothers and fathers. Let my Brazen Beasts seize them. Their lives will win you back those ships." - Daenerys V, ADWD

+.+.+

"What of Hizdahr? He is still her consort. Her king. Her husband."

"Her poisoner."

Is he? "Where is your proof?"

"The crown he wears is proof enough. The throne he sits. Open your eyes, old man. That is all he needed from Daenerys, all he ever wanted. Once he had it, why share the rule?"

Why indeed?

That's not proof.

I don't know Barristan, why don't you take a second to think about it. Could there be a less opportune moment for Hizdahr to kill Daeneyrs?

Pit fighters all. Ser Barristan was unsurprised. Hizdahr zo Loraq sat uneasily on his new throne. It had been a thousand years since Meereen last had a king, and there were some even amongst the old blood who thought they might have made a better choice than him. Outside the city sat the Yunkai'i with their sellswords and their allies; inside were the Sons of the Harpy.

And the king's protectors grew fewer every day. 

x

The pit fighters were King Hizdahr's only reliable support, against a sea of enemies.

And while you're thinking that through, try to think of anyone else who might have motive to falsely incriminate Hizdahr.

Hizdahr zo Loraq might be worth a careful look. Sooner him than Skahaz. The Shavepate had offered to set aside his wife for her, but the notion made her shudder. Hizdahr at least knew how to smile. - Daenerys I, ADWD

x

The Shavepate's eyes brimmed with fury. It had been his notion to have the Brazen Beasts follow her betrothed and take note of all his actions. - Daenerys V, ADWD

x

If I wed Hizdahr, will that turn Skahaz against me? She trusted Skahaz more than she trusted Hizdahr, but the Shavepate would be a disaster as a king. He was too quick to anger, too slow to forgive. She saw no gain in wedding a man as hated as herself. Hizdahr was well respected, so far as she could see. - Daenerys IV, ADWD

x

The Green Grace says there is blood between Loraq and Kandaq, and the Shavepate never made a secret of his disdain for my lord husband. - Daenerys VIII, ADWD

+.+.+

He could still see the air shimmering above the scarlet sands, smell the blood spilling from the men who'd died for their amusement. And he could still hear Hizdahr, urging his queen to try the honeyed locusts. Those are very tasty … sweet and hot … yet he never touched so much as one himself …

How to Not Get Away with Murder.

The Lannisters were framed for the murder of Jon Arryn. Tyrion was framed for the murder of Joffrey Baratheon.

Hizdahr did not poison the locusts. Is there a dumber POV? (Don't you dare say his name.)

+.+.+

Selmy rubbed his temple. I swore no vows to Hizdahr zo Loraq. And if I had, he has cast me aside, just as Joffrey did. 

Perhaps that was why he was being put aside.

+.+.+

"This … this confectioner, I want to question him myself. Alone."

"Is it that way?" The Shavepate crossed his arms against his chest. "Done, then. Question him as you like."

"The Shavepate has ways of finding the truth."

"I do not doubt that Skahaz would soon have me confessing. A day with him, and I will be one of the Harpy's Sons. Two days, and I will be the Harpy. Three, and it will turn out I slew your father too, back in the Sunset Kingdoms when I was yet a boy. - Daenerys IV, ADWD

x

The Brazen Beasts had taken dozens of the Harpy's Sons, and those who had survived their capture had yielded names when questioned sharply … too many names, it seemed to her. - Daenerys V, ADWD

x

"If he is not the Harpy, he knows him. I can find the truth of that easy enough. Give me your leave to put Hizdahr to the question, and I will bring you a confession."

"No," she said. "I do not trust these confessions. You've brought me too many of them, all of them worthless." - Daenerys V, ADWD

+.+.+

Skahaz's smile was savage. "My word, then. No harm to Hizdahr till his guilt is proved. But when we have the proof, I mean to kill him with my own hands. I want to pull his entrails out and show them to him before I let him die."

No, the old knight thought. If Hizdahr conspired at my queen's death, I will see to him myself, but his death will be swift and clean. The gods of Westeros were far away, yet Ser Barristan Selmy paused for a moment to say a silent prayer, asking the Crone to light his way to wisdom. For the children, he told himself. For the city. For my queen.

"I will talk to Grey Worm," he said.

Great! Two people with a vendetta determining if the accused is guilty. Sounds fair.

Final thoughts:

I hate Barristan Selmy more than Tyrion.

There, I said it.

-> return to menu <-

[weirwoodking]

POV you’re GRRM and I’m forcing you to flesh out the Dothraki characters in TWOW

[gurrillero-a]

thinking a lot about this and the magnetic power cassian has, he doesn’t intimidate or bully people, he makes himself someone people want to please and trust and that’s pretty powerful of you mr cassian.

[horrorbled]

good morning / afternoon / whatever time it is for you ,  i don’t know if i’ll be able to get to any writing today as i’m going out grocery shopping with a friend and then staying over at her place for most of the day but i may bring my laptop so we’ll see .  i will try to be here tomorrow though sometime ! i need to also write up my exclusives / main list properly .

[silvertinged]

all our matching urls ....  chefs kiss

[istumpysk]

Operation Stumpy Re-Read

ADWD: Daenerys VI (Chapter 36)

Ser Barristan wrinkled up his nose, and said, "Your Grace should not be here, breathing these black humors."

"I am the blood of the dragon," Dany reminded him. "Have you ever seen a dragon with the flux?" Viserys had oft claimed that Targaryens were untroubled by the pestilences that afflicted common men, and so far as she could tell, it was true. She could remember being cold and hungry and afraid, but never sick.

She's such a clown.

Later on we'll have to figure out whether Daenerys has the bloody flux (pale mare) or not. The above + the following,

. . . three mounts must you ride . . . one to bed and one to dread and one to love . . . - Daenerys IV, ACOK

suggests she might become infected.

Not to worry, she won't die from it or anything. Where's the fun in that?

+.+.+

Jhogo rode before her, Aggo and Rakharo just behind, long Dothraki whips in hand to keep away the sick and dying. 

Handy! Nice they got to keep those.

+.+.+

"Mother," they called to her, in the dialects of Astapor, Lys, and Old Volantis, in guttural Dothraki and the liquid syllables of Qarth, even in the Common Tongue of Westeros. "Mother, please … mother, help my sister, she is sick … give me food for my little ones … please, my old father … help him … help her … help me …"

I have no more help to give, Dany thought, despairing.

Pretty blatant mirror to Jon's trip to Mole's Town.

There's one small difference, only one is being treated like a Messiah.

+.+.+

Little children with swollen stomachs trailed after them, too weak or scared to beg. Gaunt men with sunken eyes squatted amidst sand and stones, shitting out their lives in stinking streams of brown and red. Many shat where they slept now, too feeble to crawl to the ditches she'd commanded them to dig. Two women fought over a charred bone. Nearby a boy of ten stood eating a rat. He ate one-handed, the other clutching a sharpened stick lest anyone try to wrest away his prize. Unburied dead lay everywhere. Dany saw one man sprawled in the dirt under a black cloak, but as she rode past his cloak dissolved into a thousand flies. Skeletal women sat upon the ground clutching dying infants. Their eyes followed her. Those who had the strength called out. "Mother … please, Mother … bless you, Mother …"

Well that's horrifying.

+.+.+

By the time Aggo returned with Grey Worm and fifty of the Unsullied loping behind his horse, Dany had shamed all of them into helping her. Symon Stripeback and his men were pulling the living from the dead and stacking up the corpses, while Jhogo and Rakharo and their Dothraki helped those who could still walk toward the shore to bathe and wash their clothes. Aggo stared at them as if they had all gone mad, but Grey Worm knelt beside the queen and said, "This one would be of help."

No criticism here. She feeds them and burns the dead when every one of her counselors advised against it.

+.+.+

When Daenerys returned to her pyramid, sore of limb and sick of heart, she found Missandei reading some old scroll whilst Irri and Jhiqui argued about Rakharo. 

Strange little detail.

+.+.+

"You are too skinny for him," Jhiqui was saying. "You are almost a boy. Rakharo does not bed with boys. This is known." Irri bristled back. "It is known that you are almost a cow. Rakharo does not bed with cows."

"Rakharo is blood of my blood. His life belongs to me, not you," Dany told the two of them. 

Nobody belongs to you, dipshit.

Why are you being territorial over a guy you don't care about?

+.+.+

Rakharo had grown almost half a foot during his time away from Meereen and returned with arms and legs thick with muscle and four bells in his hair. He towered over Aggo and Jhogo now, as her handmaids had both noticed. 

Unreliable narrator George R. R. Martin. The author has managed to mix up his Dothraki bloodriders.

Credit to @aegor-bamfsteel for pointing out this blunder.

Jhogo is the youth.

Jhogo edged back, his hand on his arakh. He was a youth of sixteen years, whip-thin, fearless, quick to laugh, with the faint shadow of his first mustachio on his upper lip. - Daenerys VIII, AGOT

Rakharo is already a man.

Rakharo snorted contempt through his drooping black mustachios. - Daenerys III, ACOK

I'm not sure how a mistake like this is possible when he's given them such complex characterizations.

+.+.+

"This one heard the Astapori scratching at the walls last night," the little scribe said as she was washing Dany's back.

Irri and Jhiqui exchanged a look. "No one was scratching," said Jhiqui. "Scratching … how could they scratch?"

"With their hands," said Missandei. "The bricks are old and crumbling. They are trying to claw their way into the city."

"This would take them many years," said Irri. "The walls are very thick. This is known."

"It is known," agreed Jhiqui.

"I dream of them as well." Dany took Missandei's hand. "The camp is a good half-mile from the city, my sweetling. No one was scratching at the walls."

"Your Grace knows best," said Missandei. 

The dragons are trying to claw their way out! They want to escape!

🌺 symbolism 🌺

For a moment he saw only the blackened arches of the bricks above, scorched by dragonflame. A trickle of ash caught his eye, betraying movement. Something pale, half-hidden, stirring. He's made himself a cave, the prince realized. A burrow in the brick. The foundations of the Great Pyramid of Meereen were massive and thick to support the weight of the huge structure overhead; even the interior walls were three times thicker than any castle's curtain walls. But Viserion had dug himself a hole in them with flame and claw, a hole big enough to sleep in. - The Dragontamer, ADWD

x

Rhaegal, still chained, was gnawing on the carcass of a bull. The bones on the floor of the pit were deeper than the last time she had been down here, and the walls and floors were black and grey, more ash than brick. They would not hold much longer … but behind them was only earth and stone. Can dragons tunnel through rock, like the firewyrms of old Valyria? She hoped not. - Daenerys VIII, ADWD

+.+.+

"Shall I wash your hair? It is almost time. Reznak mo Reznak and the Green Grace are coming to discuss—"

"—the wedding preparations." Dany sat up with a splash. "I had almost forgotten." Perhaps I wanted to forget. "And after them, I am to dine with Hizdahr." She sighed. "Irri, bring the green tokar, the silk one fringed with Myrish lace."

"That one is being repaired, Khaleesi. The lace was torn. The blue tokar has been cleaned."

"Blue, then. They will be just as pleased."

Should she be wearing green in the presence of Galazza Galare?

Across the pit the Graces sat in flowing robes of many colors, clustered around the austere figure of Galazza Galare, who alone amongst them wore the green. - Daenerys IX, ADWD

+.+.+

The priestess and the seneschal were happy to see her garbed in a tokar, a proper Meereenese lady for once, but what they really wanted was to strip her bare. Daenerys heard them out, incredulous. When they were done, she said, "I have no wish to give offense, but I will not present myself naked to Hizdahr's mother and sisters."

"But," said Reznak mo Reznak, blinking, "but you must, Your Worship. Before a marriage it is traditional for the women of the man's house to examine the bride's womb and, ah … her female parts. To ascertain that they are well formed and, ah …"

"… fertile," finished Galazza Galare. "An ancient ritual, Your Radiance. Three Graces shall be present to witness the examination and say the proper prayers."

"Yes," said Reznak, "and afterward there is a special cake. A women's cake, baked only for betrothals. Men are not allowed to taste it. I am told it is delicious. Magical."

And if my womb is withered and my female parts accursed, is there a special cake for that as well? "Hizdahr zo Loraq may inspect my women's parts after we are wed." Khal Drogo found no fault with them, why should he? "Let his mother and his sisters examine one another and share the special cake. I shall not be eating it. Nor shall I wash the noble Hizdahr's noble feet."

I'm torn.

I don't blame her at all for not wanting to observe these specific traditions.

On the other hand, I remember this girl enthusiastically eating a raw stallion heart and fucking Khal Drogo with an audience to immerse herself into Dothraki culture.

I won't touch this one, how about that?

+.+.+

"Magnificence, you do not understand," protested Reznak. "The washing of the feet is hallowed by tradition. It signifies that you shall be your husband's handmaid. The wedding garb is fraught with meaning too. The bride is dressed in dark red veils above a tokar of white silk, fringed with baby pearls."

The queen of the rabbits must not be wed without her floppy ears. "All those pearls will make me rattle when I walk."

"The pearls symbolize fertility. The more pearls Your Worship wears, the more healthy children she will bear."

"Why would I want a hundred children?"

That's the thing about Daenerys Targaryen,

Afterward, as Jhiqui was patting Daenerys dry, Irri approached with her tokar. Dany envied the Dothraki maids their loose sandsilk trousers and painted vests. They would be much cooler than her in her tokar, with its heavy fringe of baby pearls. "Help me wind this round myself, please. I cannot manage all these pearls by myself."

[...]

"Have my silver saddled. I would not go to my lord husband upon the backs of bearers."

"Your Grace," said Missandei, "this one is so sorry, but you cannot ride in a tokar."

The little scribe was right, as she so often was. The tokar was not a garment meant for horseback. Dany made a face. - Daenerys VII, ADWD

she's only a mother to dragons.

+.+.+

Dany turned to the Green Grace. "If we should wed by Westerosi rites …"

"The gods of Ghis would deem it no true union."

I hope the old gods reach the same verdict.

+.+.+

Galazza Galare's face was hidden behind a veil of green silk. Only her eyes showed, green and wise and sad. "In the eyes of the city you would be the noble Hizdahr's concubine, not his lawful wedded wife. Your children would be bastards. Your Worship must marry Hizdahr in the Temple of the Graces, with all the nobility of Meereen on hand to bear witness to your union."

Get the heads of all the noble houses out of their pyramids on some pretext, Daario had said. The dragon's words are fire and blood. Dany pushed the thought aside.

+.+.+

"One more small matter, Your Worship," said Reznak. "To celebrate your nuptials, it would be most fitting if you would allow the fighting pits to open once again. It would be your wedding gift to Hizdahr and to your loving people, a sign that you had embraced the ancient ways and customs of Meereen."

"And most pleasing to the gods as well," the Green Grace added in her soft and kindly voice.

A bride price paid in blood. Daenerys was weary of fighting this battle. Even Ser Barristan did not think she could win. "No ruler can make a people good," Selmy had told her. "Baelor the Blessed prayed and fasted and built the Seven as splendid a temple as any gods could wish for, yet he could not put an end to war and want."

This guy might be the worst.

How does praying, fasting, and building a new temple help anyone? You bootlicking ham.

+.+.+

Dany told him of her meeting with Reznak and the Green Grace as she was pouring wine for him. "These rituals are empty," Hizdahr declared, "just the sort of thing we must sweep aside. Meereen has been steeped in these foolish old traditions for too long." He kissed her hand and said, "Daenerys, my queen, I will gladly wash you from head to heel if that is what I must do to be your king and consort."

He does.

The Graces brought forth an ivory chair and a golden bowl. Holding her tokar daintily so as not to tread upon its fringes, Daenerys Targaryen eased herself onto the chair's plush velvet seat, and Hizdahr zo Loraq went to his knees, unlaced her sandals, and washed her feet whilst fifty eunuchs sang and ten thousand eyes looked on. He has gentle hands, she mused, as warm fragrant oils ran between her toes. If he has a gentle heart as well, I may grow fond of him in time. - Daenerys VII, ADWD

Good on him.

As far as political marriages go, Hizdahr doesn't seem half bad.

+.+.+

Hizdahr crossed his long legs. He looked pleased with himself. "Yunkai will give us peace, but for a price. The disruption of the slave trade has caused great injury throughout the civilized world. Yunkai and her allies will require an indemnity of us, to be paid in gold and gemstones."

Gold and gems were easy. "What else?"

"The Yunkai'i will resume slaving, as before. Astapor will be rebuilt, as a slave city. You will not interfere."

"The Yunkai'i resumed their slaving before I was two leagues from their city. Did I turn back? King Cleon begged me to join with him against them, and I turned a deaf ear to his pleas. I want no war with Yunkai. How many times must I say it? What promises do they require?"

Major concession, but like she points out, it's a concession she already made.

You can be anti-slavery and still acknowledge this is a necessary step if she's to achieve long-term systemic change and peace.

+.+.+

"Be that as it may, they do not trust you. The men of New Ghis feel the same. Words are wind, as you yourself have so oft said. No words of yours will secure this peace for Meereen. Your foes require deeds. They would see us wed, and they would see me crowned as king, to rule beside you."

Dany filled his wine cup again, wanting nothing so much as to pour the flagon over his head and drown his complacent smile. "Marriage or carnage. A wedding or a war. Are those my choices?"

Am I supposed to feel bad for her? Is this supposed to feel like some great sacrifice that isn't totally standard within a feudal society?

Catelyn // Lysa // Sansa // Arya // Cersei // Myrcella // Margaery // Arianne // Asha

With the exception of Lysa's second marriage, do you see a single woman here who picked her husband?

Hizdahr zo Loraq is not gay, or a drunken abusive adulterer, or a dying corpse, or a psychopath, or 450lbs, or Tyrion Lannister. I think I'll save my tears on this one.

+.+.+

"Your Grace," he said, bowing, "I am sorry to disturb you, but I thought that you would want to know at once. The Stormcrows have returned to the city, with word of the foe. The Yunkishmen are on the march, just as we had feared."

A flicker of annoyance crossed the noble face of Hizdahr zo Loraq. "The queen is at her supper. These sellswords can wait."

Ser Barristan ignored him. "I asked Lord Daario to make his report to me, as Your Grace had commanded. He laughed and said that he would write it out in his own blood if Your Grace would send your little scribe to show him how to make the letters."

Looks like you have a choice to make! Hizdahr or the sellsword.

+.+.+

"Blood?" said Dany, horrified. "Is that a jape? No. No, don't tell me, I must see him for myself." She was a young girl, and alone, and young girls can change their minds. "Convene my captains and commanders. Hizdahr, I know you will forgive me."

"Meereen must come first." Hizdahr smiled genially. "We will have other nights. A thousand nights."

"Ser Barristan will show you out." Dany hurried off, calling for her handmaids. She would not welcome her captain home in a tokar. In the end she tried a dozen gowns before she found one she liked, but she refused the crown that Jhiqui offered her.

Yeah, thought so.

You are either a young girl or a queen. You don't get to be both.

+.+.+

"You're hurt," she gasped.

"This?" Daario touched his temple. "A crossbowman tried to put a quarrel through my eye, but I outrode it. I was hurrying home to my queen, to bask in the warmth of her smile." 

Bella Bergolts

+.+.+

"This blood is not mine. One of my serjeants said we should go over to the Yunkai'i, so I reached down his throat and pulled his heart out. I meant to bring it to you as a gift for my silver queen, but four of the Cats cut me off and came snarling and spitting after me. One almost caught me, so I threw the heart into his face."

I don't believe this story.

+.+.+

"Very gallant," said Ser Barristan, in a tone that suggested it was anything but, "but do you have tidings for Her Grace?"

"Hard tidings, Ser Grandfather. Astapor is gone, and the slavers are coming north in strength."

Is she going to let that slide?

+.+.+

"More turncloaks?"

"More brave men drawn to your noble cause. My queen will like them. One is an axeman from the Basilisk Isles, a brute, bigger than Belwas. You should see him. Some Westerosi too, a score or more. Deserters from the Windblown, unhappy with the Yunkai'i. They'll make good Stormcrows."

It's Quentyn!

Is that big brute with an axe supposed to remind me of Victarion?

+.+.+

Ser Barristan frowned at Daario. "Captain, you made mention of four free companies. We know of only three. The Windblown, the Long Lances, and the Company of the Cat."

"Ser Grandfather knows how to count. The Second Sons have gone over to the Yunkai'i." Daario turned his head and spat. "That's for Brown Ben Plumm. When next I see his ugly face I will open him from throat to groin and rip out his black heart."

Dany tried to speak and found no words. She remembered Ben's face the last time she had seen it. It was a warm face, a face I trusted. Dark skin and white hair, the broken nose, the wrinkles at the corners of his eyes. Even the dragons had been fond of old Brown Ben, who liked to boast that he had a drop of dragon blood himself. Three treasons will you know. Once for gold and once for blood and once for love. Was Plumm the third treason, or the second? And what did that make Ser Jorah, her gruff old bear? Would she never have a friend that she could trust? What good are prophecies if you cannot make sense of them? If I marry Hizdahr before the sun comes up, will all these armies melt away like morning dew and let me rule in peace?

I'd caution against trusting men the dragons are fond of. :)

How would Brown Ben Plumm be her treason for love? She's so bad at this, it's astounding.

Brown Ben Plumm could be her treason for gold, but let's be real - he's not.

Ser Grandfather knows how to count.

Barristan's been teleported back to Joffrey and Cersei's court. Good.

+.+.+

"Continue as we planned. Gather food, as much as you can." If I look back I am lost. "We must close the gates and put every fighting man upon the walls. No one enters, no one leaves."

The hall was quiet for a moment. The men looked at one another. Then Reznak said, "What of the Astapori?"

She wanted to scream, to gnash her teeth and tear her clothes and beat upon the floor. Instead she said, "Close the gates. Will you make me say it thrice?" They were her children, but she could not help them now. "Leave me. Daario, remain. That cut should be washed, and I have more questions for you."

I'm not sure I can criticize her for this. Abandoning the common folk is normally frowned upon, but the bloody flux complicates this.

I don't know, how do you guys feel about it?

+.+.+

"Your clothes are stained with blood," she told Daario. "Take them off."

"Only if you do the same." He kissed her.

His hair smelled of blood and smoke and horse, and his mouth was hard and hot on hers. Dany trembled in his arms. When they broke apart, she said, "I thought you would be the one to betray me. Once for blood and once for gold and once for love, the warlocks said. I thought … I never thought Brown Ben. Even my dragons seemed to trust him." 

The story's not over yet, Daenerys.

Even my dragons seemed to trust him.

Oh no, repeated. Jon? Euron?

+.+.+

She clutched her captain by the shoulders. "Promise me that you will never turn against me. I could not bear that. Promise me."

"Never, my love."

That was not a promise.

+.+.+

She believed him.

How can I question someone with such great intuition?

+.+.+

"I swore that I should wed Hizdahr zo Loraq if he gave me ninety days of peace, but now … I wanted you from the first time that I saw you, but you were a sellsword, fickle, treacherous. You boasted that you'd had a hundred women."

"A hundred?" Daario chuckled through his purple beard. "I lied, sweet queen. It was a thousand. But never once a dragon."

She raised her lips to his. "What are you waiting for?"

Fitting his beard switched to purple.

The fandom downplays how truly awful Daario is, and how damning this is to her character.

Final thoughts:

Let's assume two things.

Daenerys and Euron clash before Daenerys meets Jon.

Jon loses an eye before meeting Daenerys.

Would she not be incredibly triggered by his eyepatch? I need this.

-> return to menu <-

[whatwesacrifice]

ALEXANDER  GIDEON   &   ISABELLE  SOPHIA,     aesthetic  edit  meme      /      accepting   !

[westerosims]

DROGO’S BOYS

khal drogo is a pretty big deal. he’s a professional football player living in san myshuno with three of his closest friends. his three closest friends, by the way, just so happen to be triplets. rakharo, aggo, and jhogo are really close, but they’re far from identical. rakharo (far right) is athletic and loves the ladies, jhogo (far left) is a goofball who’s always good for a laugh, aggo (second from the left) is athletic but a little more sensitive than his brother, rakharo. 

for his part, drogo is a transport from al simhara. he’s a pretty unpredictable guy with more facets than you’re ever going to be able to count. before he started dating daenerys targaryen he had a reputation for being a bit of a womanizer, but these days he insists he’s a one woman type of guy. we’ll see if it lasts!

[goodqueenaly]

@rigtyrson reblogged your post “Why is it a problem that there aren't much details...”

And the only difference between Aggo and Jhogo is their weapon of choice. (And Rakharo is just bigger) I think it also was a bad choice to give the Dothraki as a whole so similarly sounding names. Who can remember who is who between Drogo ’ s former men? :\ That part is really not the best writing on GRRM ’s part. And it had to hit some of the few POCs. (I m not implying a racist intention on the Author ’s part, but a sadly common systemic overseight when it comes to the charecterization of POCs in fiction).

This isn’t a joke - I literally only remember which of Daenerys’ bloodriders have which bride gift from her (which is about the only way to distinguish them) based on their names. Rakharo’s name sort of reminds me of arakh, and he has the arakh; Aggo’s name sort of sounds like “arrow”, and he has the bow; Jhogo is, well, the other one, and he has, well, the other weapon (the whip). (Which leads me to wonder if GRRM purposefully named them that way - so he would remember too.) 

But yes, it’s no better with the bloodriders than it is with Irri and Jhiqui. Of the three, only Jhogo gets any sort of independent characterization, and its the thinnest possible kind: he’s described (all the way back in AGOT) as “a youth of sixteen years, whip-thin, fearless, quick to laugh”. Likewise, about the only time I think one of the bloodriders disagreed with the others is in ADWD: while “Jhogo and Rakharo and their Dothraki helped those who could still walk toward the shore to bathe and wash their clothes”, Aggo “stared at them as if they had all gone mad” (and of course, there is never a reason given why Aggo apparently refused to help but Jhogo and Rakharo pitched in, when all of them seemed to be against the idea of touching the sick). Apart from that, the bloodriders are effectively interchangeable, as much as Irri and Jhiqui are for each other; like Irri and Jhiqui, the bloodriders have also gone five books (four on page) while never really changing or evolving as characters. Just as I contrasted the way GRRM writes Irri and Jhiqui with the way he writes, say, Pyp and Grenn, I might contrast the way he writes Aggo, Jhogo, and Rakharo with the way he writes, say, any given member of the Kingsguard. Would a reader ever confuse Loras for Arys Oakheart, or think Barristan and Balon Swann are basically interchangeable? (Even put aside two of those individuals having POV chapters.) 

It’s easy to rely on tired tropes and old stereotypes when writing characters (I’m looking at your over-reliance on death in childbirth too, GRRM). It’s hard to make each character in a setting a unique individual with a history, hopes, dreams, ambitions, motivations, loves, and hates. That’s not an excuse, especially not for a writer of GRRM’s caliber, especially when he’s shown himself capable of doing so with other characters. The bloodriders, as with Irri and Jhiqui, as with basically any given Dothraki character, exist as basically window-dressing for Daenerys’ story, some wearing different hats but all basically sharing the same viewpoints, opinions, and motivations. GRRM seems to treat the Dothraki characters as more representatives of a collective idea - this is who the Dothraki are - rather than the individuals they actually are; whenever A Dothraki Idea needs to be expressed, he plucks whatever convenient Dothraki Character happens to be around and has that person do so. GRRM can do better, and should.

[silvertinged]

i was thinking ab aggos and was legit gonna message her to tell her i love her but then she immediately messaged me first,,, like fate bih i love you @rubytinged

[agentrouka-blog]

"Tiny flames went darting up the wood like swift red mice, skating over the oil and leaping from bark to branch to leaf."- Dany(AGOT X). "Davos asked her then how it was that Ser Axell had learned the trick of it so quickly, but to that she only smiled enigmatically and said, "Any cat may stare into a fire and see red mice at play."- Davos(ASOS VI). It's interesting red mice is related to fire in both instances.

It becomes even funnier (sadder, actually) when you look at the surrounding text:

Jhogo spied it first. "There," he said in a hushed voice. Dany looked and saw it, low in the east. The first star was a comet, burning red. Bloodred; fire red; the dragon's tail. She could not have asked for a stronger sign.

Dany took the torch from Aggo's hand and thrust it between the logs. The oil took the fire at once, the brush and dried grass a heartbeat later. Tiny flames went darting up the wood like swift red mice, skating over the oil and leaping from bark to branch to leaf. A rising heat puffed at her face, soft and sudden as a lover's breath, but in seconds it had grown too hot to bear. Dany stepped backward. (AGOT; Daenerys X)

She sees a comet and takes it for a sign that she is on the right path - and burns her slave Mirri Maz Duur alive and wakes the stone dragons. 

She had sensed the truth of it long ago, Dany thought as she took a step closer to the conflagration, but the brazier had not been hot enough. The flames writhed before her like the women who had danced at her wedding, whirling and singing and spinning their yellow and orange and crimson veils, fearsome to behold, yet lovely, so lovely, alive with heat. Dany opened her arms to them, her skin flushed and glowing. This is a wedding, too, she thought. Mirri Maz Duur had fallen silent. The godswife thought her a child, but children grow, and children learn.

The same themes are at play in the corresponding Davos chapter.

"Fire is a living thing," the red woman told him, when he asked her to teach him how to see the future in the flames. "It is always moving, always changing . . . like a book whose letters dance and shift even as you try to read them. It takes years of training to see the shapes beyond the flames, and more years still to learn to tell the shapes of what will be from what may be or what was. Even then it comes hard, hard. You do not understand that, you men of the sunset lands." Davos asked her then how it was that Ser Axell had learned the trick of it so quickly, but to that she only smiled enigmatically and said, "Any cat may stare into a fire and see red mice at play." (ASOS, Davos VI)

When Melisandre jokes about seeing the mice in the fire she is mocking Axell Florent, but she should be mocking herself. This is the chapter where she would have had Stannis burn Edric Storm alive. To wake stone dragons.

Melisandre moved closer. "Save them, sire. Let me wake the stone dragons. Three is three. Give me the boy."

She sees signs in the flames and burns people for it, but what it truly means - the pointless destructive evil of it - is well beyond her. 

[music-of-dragons]

AGOT Dany X

●Summary ○My thoughts

● This chapter opens with Dany preparing Drogo’s pyre. She has Aggo kill a horse for the first layer of brush and bark since Dothraki tradition states that Khals need a mount for the Nightlands. Mirri is bound on the sidelines telling Dany a horse is not enough, she does not have the words to make a spell nor the wisdom to find them because blood magic is not a game for children. ~”You call me maegi as if it were a curse, but all it means is wise. You are a child, with a child’s ignorance. Whatever you mean to do, it will not work. Loose me from these bonds and I will help you.” Dany tells Jhogo she tires of the maegi’s braying and he whips her, she keeps quiet after that.

○ Dany is combining her inner knowledge of magic with the Dothraki traditions, this gives more fuel to the magic that is about to take place. Dany shares a close bond with the Dothraki culture because she found her agency on the Dothraki Sea and because she loved Drogo. Mirri is calling Dany a child, she admits that she punished and sterilized a child in a cruel fashion in order to teach her a lesson. Dany will not allow herself to be fooled by Mirri again and will not trust her words.

● The second layer of the pyre has thicker wood laid in very specific directions, East to West, sunrise to sunset. Drogo's treasures are added to this layer of the pyre except for the bride gifts, Dany means to keep them. Jorah calls Dany “princess” but she tells him what was Viserys’s is hers now, so he calls her Queen. Jorah swears his sword and shield to Dany and begs her not to join Drogo in the pyre. She tells him that she must, that he doesn’t understand. ~”I will not watch you burn.” “Is that what you fear?” Dany kissed him lightly on his broad forehead. “I am not such a child as that, sweet ser.”~ She swears to him that she does not intend to burn.

○ The second of the three layers is laid East to West. Drogo’s treasures are placed on this layer with the directional branches, symbolizing that his life will return when the sun rises in the West and sets in the East as well as the fact that he was Dany’s sun and stars. This is the first time Dany declares herself a Queen in her own right, her power does not derive from someone else, only herself and her name. Daenerys does not intend to burn, she knows that the magic she is putting together will protect her as she hatches her dragons.

● The third level of the pyre is made with woven branches, covered with leaves and twigs which are laid North to South, Ice to Fire, then piled with soft cushions and sleeping silks. The sun had begun to lower when they were through and Dany called the remaining Dothraki around her. There were fewer than a hundred, and Dany wonders how many Aegon started with, although it did not matter. ~”You will be my khalasar,” she told them. “I see the faces of slaves. I free you. Take off your collars. Go if you wish, no one shall harm you. If you stay, it will be as brothers and sisters, husbands and wives. I see the children, women, the wrinkled faces of the aged. I was a child yesterday. Today I am a woman. Tomorrow I will be old. To each of you I say, give me your hands and your hearts, and there will always be a place for you.” After she says this she gives the 3 bride gifts to each of her Khas and names them her Kos/bloodriders, they each gently turn her down but she pays their rejection no mind and thinks to herself that if she looks back she is lost. She names Jorah the first of her Queensguard then enters her tent to bathe. She then moves on and cleans Drogo, begging his forgiveness for her mistakes.

○ Dany has now deliberately placed the branches NESW, which is commonly used in alchemy and ritual magic. Her pyre consists of 3 layers, she is the child of 3, once again connecting her destiny with her magic. Daenerys, for the first time, compares herself to Aegon. This is the beginning of her goals of conquest, the night she becomes a Queen in her own right. Her speech is one of my favorites, her crusade to end slavery starts this night and she takes the freedmen as her people. She acknowledges her personal growth and uses her speech to inspire the remaining Dothraki to be her Khalasar. She must move forward, no matter what the others around her say as she names her bloodriders and continues with the ritual.

● She has Drogo’s body placed on the pyre with his head facing the Mother of Mountains to the NE. She places her eggs on his pyre despite Jorah’s protests. The black beside his heart, the green beside his head, and the cream and gold between his legs. Once she climbs off the pyre Mirri calls her mad, to which she responds, ~”Is it so far from madness to wisdom?” then has her bound to the pyre. She pours the oil on Mirri herself and thanks her for the lesson she had taught her, that only death may pay for life. It was only then that Mirri began to look fearful. Dany waits for the first star to appear, and Jhogo spies the comet first, blood red, fire red, the dragon’s tail. She thinks that she could not have asked for a stronger sign.

○ These placements are VERY strategic. I believe that they give evidence for the 3 heads of the dragon as well as completing the prophecy of Azor Ahai. Drogon, Dany’s mount, is placed beside Drogo’s heart as she is the heart and spirit of the three heads who will bring them together. Viserion is placed between Drogon’s legs, whoever rides Viserion will be her lover and another head of the dragon. Rhaegal is placed besides Drogon’s head, whoever rides Rhaegal will be the strategic mind of the 3 heads. I believe them to be Dany, Jon, and Tyrion. Lightbringer was tempered with Nissa Nissa’s heart and was always warm as she had been warm, Drogon is hatched from Drogo’s heart and he is fire made flesh. Drogon is lightbringer and Daenerys is Azor Ahai, she unintentionally sacrificed her husband to complete the AA/Lightbringer ritual beneath the bleeding star at the end of the long summer. She will wake dragons from stone and be reborn amidst salt (could be the Dothraki SEA or her ~rivulets~ of sweat) and smoke (from the burning pyre) just as she was originally born amidst salt and smoke on Dragonstone. This all happens before we are even introduced to the Azor Ahai prophecy, which was intentional on GRRM's part imo.

● Dany sets the pyre on fire, as she sees Drogo burning part of her wants to rush to him and burn with him, but she waits. The fire beats like great red wings and pushes the Dothraki back while Dany stands her ground. She is the blood of the dragon and the fire is in her. ~She had sensed the truth of it long ago, but the brazier had not been hot enough.~ She steps closer and closer to the flames thinking that Mirri had thought her a child, but children grow and children learn. She sees visions of mythical creatures in the fire as milk flows from her breasts before she sees Drogo mounted on a smoky stallion. He smiles, and the crack of his whip is the cracking of shattering stone, the first egg. She sees the smoking piece of cream and gold egg at her feet and hears the roaring. ~Only death can pay for life.~ The pyre continues to collapse when Dany hears the second cracking, loud and sharp as thunder. She hears Jorah shouting for her. ~The fire is mine. I am Daenerys Stormborn, daughter of dragons, bride of dragons, mother of dragons, don’t you see? Don’t you SEE?~ The pyre collapses around Dany as she steps forward and calls out to her children. She hears the third crack, loud and sharp as the breaking of the world.

○ Dany recognizes that she needs to wait for the sacrifices to be completely burned before she enters the fire or else the magic will not protect her from the flames. She knows she is hatching dragons and calls herself mother of dragons before they even completely hatch. The magic shows her visions in the flames because it is working and she is not burning. Dany hears the dragons as they are hatching and eagerly goes to them, she is confident and unafraid, ready to be the mother of dragons while the Dothraki watch the flames roaring higher and higher.

● When Jorah finds Dany amidst the ruins of the pyre, naked and covered with soot, Viserion and Rhaegal are suckling from her breasts and Drogon is draped around her shoulders. Jorah and the Dothraki fall to their knees at the sight of Dany, unhurt, and nurturing 3 baby dragons. Dany looks at their eyes and sees that they are her people now, hers as they had never been Drogo’s. ~As Daenerys Targaryen rose to her feet, her black hissed, pale smoke venting from its mouth and nostrils. The other two pulled away from her breasts and added their voices to the call, translucent wings unfolding and stirring the air, and for the first time in hundreds of years, the night came alive with the music of dragons.~

○ The Dothraki are stunned by her accomplishment and follow her because of her inner strength, magic, and dragons; unlike Drogo who enslaved and ruled with brute strength and fear. She is suckling the dragons because she is meant to be their mother, she is a child who just lost her own human son and was able to hatch dragons to raise and be a mother to in his place. The story opens with a dance with The Others, and ends with the music of dragons. This is about to be the EPIC Song of Ice and Fire!

Art 1 by Felicia Cano 🥰

Art 2 by Mark Miller, the cover of AGOT graphic novel issue 24! His dragons look exactly as I imagined them, more snake like with large wings!

[chispas-and-broken-bindings]

Chispas Does a Meta, Pt. II

Let’s Build a Fire & Make Speeches!

Welcome back, my captive audience. If you have no idea how you got here or what I’m talking about, might I recommend going back to Part I where I sing a classic Lead Belly tune and introduce the topic of the day: 

Ritual Sacrifice.

I’ve already introduced the lambs and given some context leading up to their impending deaths (again, we’re looking at Daenerys X, AGOT & Jon III, ADWD).

Now, let’s gather some kindling, eh?

You Can’t Burn Someone Alive Without Gathering a few Sticks...unless you have dragons. But Dany only has eggs (and now I somehow want to morph this into a Succession joke about making an omelette...and this is why I can’t be trusted to write metas)

Let’s check in with Dany X.  

Her foragers returned with gnarled cottonwoods, purple brush, sheaves of brown grass. They took the two straightest trees, hacked the limbs and branches from them, skinned off their bark, and split them, laying the logs in a square. Its center they filled with straw, brush, bark shavings, and bundles of dry grass.

That’s a solid base, but I’m just looking for something extra. Some flair, if you will.

Over the carcass of the horse, they built a platform of hewn logs; trunks of smaller trees and limbs from the greater, and the thickest straightest branches they could find. They laid the wood east to west, from sunrise to sunset. On the platform they piled Khal Drogo’s treasures: his great tent, his painted vests, his saddles and harness, the whip his father had given him when he came to manhood, the arakh he had used to slay Khal Ogo and his son, a mighty dragonbone bow.

Now we’re getting somewhere. Anything more?

The third level of the platform was woven of branches no thicker than a finger, and covered with dry leaves and twigs. They laid them north to south, from ice to fire, and piled them high with soft cushions and sleeping silks.

Very posh. I’m satisfied. Oh, we’re not done yet? You know we have another fire to get to, right? You don’t care? Fine, but make it worth my time.

Afterward, Dany sent them all away, so she might prepare Khal Drogo for his final ride into the night lands. She washed his body clean and brushed and oiled his hair, running her fingers through it for the last time, feeling the weight of it, remembering the first time she had touched it, the night of their wedding ride. His hair had never been cut. How many men could die with their hair uncut? She buried her face in it and inhaled the dark fragrance of the oils. He smelled like grass and warm earth, like smoke and semen and horses. He smelled like Drogo. Forgive me, sun of my life, she thought. Forgive me for all I have done and all I must do. I paid the price, my star, but it was too high, too high . . .

Dany braided his hair and slid the silver rings onto his mustache and hung his bells one by one. So many bells, gold and silver and bronze. Bells so his enemies would hear him coming and grow weak with fear. She dressed him in horsehair leggings and high boots, buckling a belt heavy with gold and silver medallions about his waist. Over his scarred chest she slipped a painted vest, old and faded, the one Drogo had loved best. For herself she chose loose sandsilk trousers, sandals that laced halfway up her legs, and a vest like Drogo’s.

The sun was going down when she called them back to carry his body to the pyre. The Dothraki watched in silence as Jhogo and Aggo bore him from the tent. Dany walked behind them. They laid him down on his cushions and silks, his head toward the Mother of Mountains far to the northeast.

So, this is actually a very tender last rites for Dany’s deceased husband...warmongering rapist though he may be. Alas, the questionable choice to say he smelled like semen, kind of ruins the moment.

Okay, is that it? NO? What else is there? Oh yeah. I almost forgot. Silly me. The fucking eggs.

She climbed the pyre herself to place the eggs around her sun-and-stars. The black beside his heart, under his arm. The green beside his head, his braid coiled around it. The cream-and-gold down between his legs. When she kissed him for the last time, Dany could taste the sweetness of the oil on his lips.

I get it, Dany. Go big or go home.

Alright, Jon III. You have some competition. Are you up for the challenge? Hit me with your best shot. 

The queen’s men had made it from the trees of the haunted forest, from saplings and supple branches, pine boughs sticky with sap, and the bone-white fingers of the weirwoods. They’d bent them and twisted them around and through each other to weave a wooden lattice, then hung it high above a deep pit filled with logs, leaves, and kindling.

Okay. What else?

Two queen’s men brought forth the Horn of Joramun, black and banded with old gold, eight feet long from end to end. Runes were carved into the golden bands, the writing of the First Men. Joramun had died thousands of years ago, but Mance had found his grave beneath a glacier, high up in the Frostfangs. And Joramun blew the Horn of Winter, and woke giants from the earth. Ygritte had told Jon that Mance never found the horn. She lied, or else Mance kept it secret even from his own

So, a wooden cage and a horn of dubious origin. Is that all you’ve got?

It is.

Okay everyone, I’m starting to suspect Jon III of phoning this murder in. 

Dany X : 1/Jon III: 0.

Let’s Introduce our Masters of Ceremonies

How rude of me. I introduced the muderees in Part I, before introducing the murderers. I have no manners. 

Well, on one hand we have: Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms (disputed claim), (not yet) the Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, (not yet) the Unburnt, the Breaker of Chains (disputed claim)

On the other hand, we have Jon Sn-aaaP! He doesn’t do the murder, guys! He’s Jon “beet counter” Snow. He doesn’t burn people alive.

That’s Mel...It’s Melisandre of Asshai doing the honor tonight, kids, on behalf of Stannis Baratheon, the First of His Name, The King in the Narrow Sea (disputed claim), The King of the Painted Table (disputed claim), the dark lord (who the fuck calls him this? I really want to know who stuck this Harry Potter reference into asoiaf), The King of Dragonstone (disputed claim), The King at the Wall (eh...the Night’s Watch really rolls over on this), Azor Ahai reborn/come again (disputed claim), the prince who was promised (disputed claim).

Holy shit. That is way too many titles for an incest baby and a middle child. I’m calling this round a draw. No points awarded.

(If anything, Jon has dipped into the negative, as he doesn’t even get to do the murder in his own chapter. Weak.)

Moving on.

The Guest list

Who are the lucky few who got tickets to such exclusive events? I’m so jelly. I haven’t even been to the movie theater since early 2020.

With that collar-popping pyre, Dany was prepared to perform to a sold out stadium, but because of some backstabbing opportunistic dudebro, Ko Pono, who is suddenly fancying himself a khal, she’s dealing with some last hours of the Fyre-Festival fallout bullshit, after that punk took off with most of Drogo’s khalasar to party down at the Dothraki version of Coachella.

Time to turn this shit-pile into Burning (wo)Man, Dany. (I know. I’m insufferable. I’m really sorry, everyone. I told you someone else should write this.)

“The Dothraki follow only the strong,” Ser Jorah said. “I am sorry, my princess. There was no way to hold them. Ko Pono left first, naming himself Khal Pono, and many followed him. Jhaqo was not long to do the same. The rest slipped away night by night, in large bands and small. There are a dozen new khalasars on the Dothraki sea, where once there was only Drogo’s.”

Disappointing, but who do we have left? There has to be an influencer or two who would be willing to tweet about this, right? RIGHT?

“The old remain,” said Aggo. “The frightened, the weak, and the sick. And we who swore. We remain.” “They took Khal Drogo’s herds, Khaleesi,” Rakharo said. “We were too few to stop them. It is the right of the strong to take from the weak. They took many slaves as well, the khal’s and yours, yet they left some few.

Alright, so it’s a sad turnout for Dany. How are things up at Castle Black?

A thousand captives watched through the wooden bars of their stockade as the horn was lifted high. All were ragged and half-starved. Wildlings, the Seven Kingdoms called them; they named themselves the free folk. They looked neither wild nor free—only hungry, frightened, numb.

Eeek...pretty dismal, folks. Anyone else here?

The king’s eyes were blue bruises, sunk deep in a hollow face. He wore grey plate, a fur-trimmed cloak of cloth-of-gold flowing from his broad shoulders. His breastplate had a flaming heart inlaid above his own. Girding his brows was a red-gold crown with points like twisting flames. Val stood beside him, tall and fair. They had crowned her with a simple circlet of dark bronze, yet she looked more regal in bronze than Stannis did in gold. Her eyes were grey and fearless, unflinching. Beneath an ermine cloak, she wore white and gold. Her honey-blond hair had been done up in a thick braid that hung over her right shoulder to her waist. The chill in the air had put color in her cheeks.

A royal, albeit one whose eyes are described as bruises (that can’t be good), and a hot girl in gold (with honey hair). +2 for Jon III. Anyone else?

Jon watched unblinking. He dare not appear squeamish before his brothers.

Stop breaking my heart. Also, I don’t have time to talk about you...yet. And you aren’t supposed to be relegated to the crowd in your own chapter, Jon. It’s almost like you aren’t even an important character. Only weaklings like Sansa are relegated to passive, observant roles in their own POVs. Jeeze. Did you at least bring any of your bros to the event?

He had ordered out two hundred men, more than half the garrison of Castle Black. Mounted in solemn sable ranks with tall spears in hand, they had drawn up their hoods to shadow their faces … and hide the fact that so many were greybeards and green boys.

Docked a point for having to hide your faces, boys.

Where does this leave us? Oh yeah. Let’s tally up.

Dany X: 1: Jon III: 0

Pour the champagne and let’s all raise a glass for...

The Speeches! (or the best time to sneak out for a cigarette at most weddings)

Let’s remember, Dany is coming off a few major losses. Before her big speech, she has a few tête-à-têtes first. She needs to test out her material before her big act.  

With Aggo:

Aggo would have added the weapons Drogo’s bloodriders had given Dany for bride gifts as well, but she forbade it. “Those are mine,”she told him, “and I mean to keep them.”

Can’t let a good weapon go to waste, amiright? Human life on the other hand…

With Jorah:

“Viserys is dead. I am his heir, the last blood of House Targaryen. Whatever was his is

mine now.”

Maybe, she does need to workshop this shit in Essos for a while. Yikes. -1

Everybody else:

“You will be my khalasar,” she told them. “I see the faces of slaves. I free you. Take off your collars. Go if you wish, no one shall harm you. If you stay, it will be as brothers and sisters, husbands and wives.” The black eyes watched her, wary, expressionless. “I see the children, women, the wrinkled faces of the aged. I was a child yesterday. Today I am a woman. Tomorrow I will be old. To each of you I say, give me your hands and your hearts, and there will always be a place for you.”

That’s actually sweet. +1 

I wonder how that will work out for them? (No spoilers, guys! Just kidding. I’ve read canon and fanon and sooooooo many bad takes. Spoil away). In the meantime, let’s check in with the last two people Dany “saved”.

First up, is Eroeh, “the timid girl Dany had rescued outside the mud walls of the Lamb Men.”

Insider tip. When Dany says “rescued”, what she reall means is that she took the girl in as a personal slave after her husband’s thugs gang-raped her...for the Iron Throne...look, I’m confused too. But still, it’s a nice little trick to keep someone loyal. Eroeh only got slapped a little by her “savior”, but she knew from experience it could have been so much worse.

Eroeh stared fearfully at Drogo where he lay.

“He dies,” she whispered. Dany slapped her. “The khal cannot die. He is the father of the stallion who mounts the world. His hair has never been cut. He still wears the bells his father gave him.”

But then Dany went into labor at the most inconvenient time, and Eroeh...well, let’s see, what happened to her:

“Eroeh?” asked Dany, remembering the frightened child she had saved outside the city of the Lamb Men.

“Mago seized her, who is Khal Jhaqo’s bloodrider now,” said Jhogo. “He mounted her high and low and gave her to his khal, and Jhaqo gave her to his other bloodriders. They were six. When they were done with her, they cut her throat.”

Okay, Chispas, that was horrible. I’m truly sorry that we had to re-examine that scene. But what about the second person Dany saved? Surely they had a better fate?

That was Mirri.  Our blood sacrifice, remember? Keep up!

Okay, -2 for Dany for making promises she’s already proven unable to keep. Still, It can only go up for her from here, right? Well...we’ll get back to that, later.

Right now, it’s time for our second orator to take the stage.

Melisandre only has “years beyond count” on Dany, so it’s almost an unfair competition. And she has the wind behind her back. Her man, Stanny, finally won a battle… never mind that it was against a bunch of refugees, during a supposed armistice. What does our Lady Red have to say?

Beneath the weeping Wall, Lady Melisandre raised her pale white hands. “We all must choose,” she proclaimed. “Man or woman, young or old, lord or peasant, our choices are the same.” Her voice made Jon Snow think of anise and nutmeg and cloves. She stood at the king’s side on a wooden scaffold raised above the pit. “We choose light or we choose darkness. We choose good or we choose evil. We choose the true god or the false.”

Strong start. Her voice somehow sounds like it smells good. +1

“If the Wall falls, night falls as well, the long night that never ends. It must not happen, will not happen! The Lord of Light has seen his children in their peril and sent a champion to them, Azor Ahai reborn.”

Look folks, we’ve got a professional hype-man in the house! +1

“FREE FOLK!” cried Melisandre. “Behold the fate of those who choose the darkness!”

ALL CAPS means she knows how to project. +1 

And then boom. She just jumps right into the fire (figuratively...not literally. When I make this comment again later, with Dany, I will mean literally)...but I’m not ready for fire-play just yet. Does Mel have anything else to say?

“The Lord of Light made the sun and moon and stars to light our way, and gave us fire to keep the night at bay,” Melisandre told the wildlings. “None can withstand his flames.”

“None can withstand his flames,” the queen’s men echoed.

Mel has backup singers. Dany didn’t. +2 points to Mel.

Look, Mel had an unfair advantage. She’s a professional. She’s been on tour before. She has a few platinum records under her belt. Dany is the ingenue, who doesn’t even have her first single out. Still, this is a competition. Points must be tallied. 

But wait, this is a Jon chapter. We can’t award him points, when Mel was doing all the work. In fact, I’m docking him a point. 

Dany X: -1/Jon III: -1

It’s neck and neck, and they’re both under water, but at least Dany is putting her back into it. I’m not impressed with Jon. He is giving me real mediocre white man vibes, so far. It’s almost like he’s not into ritual sacrifice....which would be totally lame, right? 

I know the rest of you are all itching for the murder part, but you’ll have to wait for Part III, when we’ll really dig into the charred meat of the matter.

I apologize for everything, but regret nothing.