#love love love Tyrus

[nescamonster]

Not terrible moment

So I am in love with @asterbae 's amazing Fic "Perfect Slaughter" on Ao3. Unfortunately I was not blessed with the artistic streak, all I can do is offer up is a non cannon, fanfiction of Their fanfiction to give the Boys a tiny sliver of a not terrible moment in their eternal lives cause boy does Tyrus and Astarion got it rough and i love it but also wanna let them take a breath.

Any who hope I didn't butcher the characters too badly, Don't judge on my work, check out Perfect slaughter for yourselves! (Though beware dead dove, definitely take in the tags before you read)

It had taken 87 years, but finally, the stars aligned.

Tyrus couldn't let the chance pass them by, as he didnt know when another perfect night would arrive. Cazador so rarely let Tyrus bring in prey, and rarer still on the same night as Astarion.

"Come, darling, I'll help you find a mark." Astarion called to Tryus as the spawns started dispersing after receiving orders.

"Surely he doesn't need his hand held anymore astarion." Violet teased, her sharp eyes going between them wonderingly.

"It's about not being punished. Do you think the master will stop at tyrus' incompetence or would he then look to the one who trained him?" Astarion gave a sarcastic tap against his temple, "i know you rarely use it darling, but if you don't stretch those mental muscles they will degrade you know."

Violet hissed, showing her fangs but she left without another word. No doubt fearing standing there arguing was eating into her hunting time.

Astarion flashed a victorious smile then looked more softly at Tyrus who happily fell into step beside the older vampire spawn. This was what he wanted after all.

"Lets try the elfsong for you I think." Astarion mused aloud only to raise a brow when Tryus shook his head, "oh? You've something else in mind?"

Tyrus had felt ill when he made this plan, but he knew now after so many years that there was no enjoyment without pain. His, astarions, someones. There had to be suffering to equal the scales.

"Homeless twins. Near the wyrms rock last I saw them." Tyrus wanted this part over as quickly as possible, "they run a scam where they pretend to be the same human, but their blood scent betrays them."

Astarions eyes lit up with interest and his step increased, "I guess we could spare an hour to look…"

Tyrus kept the pace, his eyes down and Astarion noticed, slowing slightly and clearing his throat to have the younger drow look up at him.

"Any particular reason why you've waited until now to speak of such prey?" A warning tone entered his honeyed voice, "you weren't attempting to spare-"

Tyrus couldn't help the burst of bitter laughter that spilt from his lips at the thought.

"This is the most selfish thing I have ever done." He admitted, "I saved them for when we could hunt together. I knew you would do better at securing them quickly."

"Well a night in our bunks is preferable too-"

"No." Tyrus was firm with his denial. He didn't do this, offering up innocent siblings so they could lay in the dark and wait for the next atrocity. Astarions step faltered but he caught himself and they kept moving at a quick pace through the city.

As Astarion stayed quiet, Tyrus knew he was waiting for an explanation.

"I-I wanted at least an hour… to-to show you something." Why were the words so hard to say? Why did astarions guarded look cut him to the core?

Tyrus was not well fed enough to blush, but he kept his eyes on the road they walked and pushed through, "i would like if we could secure our offering then- take a, a moment, before…"

No doubt astarion was burning with curiosity but tyrus was thankful he asked no more. Instead he had the drow direct them to these homeless vagabonds.

The twins were comely, by no means beautiful but their identical faces made for an interesting gimmick that was sure to please Cazador. Astarion took the lead, for which Tyrus was grateful.

He didn't need to do more than smile and wrap his arms around one woman's waist before her sister was drugged and asleep. She squirmed as she saw this, but Tyrus knew better than to let her go. He just held her still as Astarion force fed her the drugged wine and helped his fellow spawn stow them both in a secure location they could return to in an hour.

Astarion brushed off his doublet and smiled at Tyrus when the drow used his cantrip to clean the dirt desperate fingers had left on him. They were taking a risk not immediatly returning but Astarion said nothing of that, instead cocking his head at Tyrus.

"So, where too now?" He asked.

Tyrus lead the way, checking homes as they found one that didn't prevent them entry. An abandoned home filled with dirt and vermin that Astarion eyed with distaste and thirst warring in his face.

"You cannot be thinking of sneaking a drink." Astarion in an unbelieving tone, "you cannot be that dense even after all these years."

Tyrus was cleaning up a small amount of space, using the weave to clear the dirt and scare away the rats, "no,no. I would never." He shuddered, remembering with vivid detail the consequences of taking blood from anywhere but cazadors' hands.

Instead he sat down in the cleared space and pet the floor next to him. Astarion was cautious but less so than any of their siblings. He lowered himself with grace and looked about warily.

"A nice little hovel. I can see why you just had to show me."

Tyrus gave a shaky breath and smiled at the Spawn who had made the years just slightly less terrible then they could have been. He pulled from his pocket some fleece and reached into the weave as he spoke.

"Close your eyes for a moment, they might take a bit of time to adjust…" then he spoke the incantation, pulling the impossible through to the possible.

Astarion hadnt closed his eyes so it was with a fearful shout that he slammed his shoulders back against the wall as the major image illusion unfolded around them.

Grass sprung up, earsing the floorboards, as the world expanded, grey skies and dark trees filling a twenty foot space. Tyrus held onto his concentration even as Asatrion swore, gazing up a stormy sky just before the rain broke, sunlight diluted by the clouds but clearly day in a forest clearing.

They could smell the ozone, the scent of wet foliage strong in the air. A light breeze tingled their skin but no illusion could ruffle their clothes which stayed static in this moment. They could hear the soft rumble of the thunder and the rustle of the leaves. Tyrus turned to look fully at his companion once the spell was fully cast and was horrified to see tears starting to spill.

Astarion lifted a shaky hand to clasp over his mouth as his eyes were blown wide, taking in the sight. He had only shed two tears but as starved as they were kept, he may as well have been sobbing.

"Oh, I'm sorry! This-this was meant to be- i-i'll cancel it, hold on." Tyrus prepared to drop it, but astarions hand shot out, grasping his forearm.

"Don't you dare!" He hissed, "don't you give me this just to take it away!"

Tyrus stopped, then carefully and slowly placed his hands over astarions, nodding his agreement, "I won't. We can stay here for as long as… well twenty minutes or so anyway."

Astarion paid no heed to the time limit, instead taking in the view, seemingly trying to imprint it into his mind. He didn't move his grip, so Tyrus settled for petting Astarions hand gently and looking around himself.

"I don't remember… where this is." Tyrus felt he owed Astarion an explanation but it was difficult. So much was gone, so many important things.

"I think I had a family? And, and we were… i've no idea why i was here, or when… but i remember the storm" they both looked at it now, rolling lazily towards them, "i remember thinking it was beautiful."

"It is…" Astarion suddenly gave a choked laugh, "we can never speak of this."

"I know." Of course Tyrus knew that. Cazador was strict with how much access his spawn had to the weave. He'd be furious they had experienced even a second of sunlight, illusioned and storm dimmed as it was.

Tyrus looked down as Astarion moved his hand from forearm to clasp with Tyrus' fingers. The High elf looked him in the eye as he gentle brought the drows hand to his lips, a chaste kiss planted on his knuckles, featherlight but filled with emotion.

"Thank you… Tyrus…" Astarion sounded breathless, his voice hushed as another roll of thunder broke, "I will never forget this… thank you."

The image faded around them, a silence falling as reality reasserted itself. Astarion still had his hand and Tyrus realized that neither of them were breathing.

Astarion closed his eyes then took a shuddering breath before opening them, his face a mask of mischievous once more. He kindly returned tyrus' hand to its owner and stood in one graceful movment.

"We should be off"

"I-i have one more-" Tyrus stuttered, trying to offer another casting. He didn't want the moment to be over, did not want to return to their lives so soon.

Astarions smile was sad but kind as he offered a hand to the drow, "best not live in dreams darling, magnificent as they are."

Tyrus squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the burn of tears unshed for a long moment before he too let go of the dream. They had a single moment where they were not spawn, but free under an untamed sky. A moment that was as illusionary as the spell itself.

He took Astarions hand, standing and nodding. It was time to return to what was real for no amount of trickery would stop cazador from finding them if they didn't return themselves.

Their hands fell apart, palms still carrying the warmth of the other. Then the two left the hovel and went to collect their offering to their cruel master.

Above the city, a storm crackled, beginning to roll across the night sky…

[littleskrib]

"Last, as the golden flame receded, there was a violet flash of light in Cazador’s eyes, just before they began to widen, further and rounder, terrified, when he met Tyrus’s blank gaze."

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Or I read chapter 37 of PS by @imagineitdearies and I am not okay.

- reader discretion is advised, pls read the tags before checking it out

[iamfarfromvibingrightnow]

queers watching other queers perform thus resulting in them falling in love my beloved

[angelofalls]

[OC] Ray Maximus / Tyrus Titan / Stella Stomphauser Some kind of dispute😅 (T4T..4T) + bonus panels

[imagineitdearies]

~ A Flawed Eternity ~

(AKA drabbles set in the Perfect Slaughter universe.)

In which Tyrus has some trouble with the whole drinking blood thing. Content warning for unspecified eating disorder and mention of SA.

~

Tyrus stared down the corpse of a feral street cat, his stomach aching at the sight—and yet his mind recoiling in disgust and fear.

“Freshly killed,” Astarion said, overly cheerful as he sat down next to him on the bed. “Found it rummaging in the rubbish bins outside the kitchen door of the Elfsong, darling, just a few minutes ago. No diseases, not even that bad-smelling.”

“Thank you,” Tyrus said, putting on a smile.

But Astarion didn’t nod and move away. He was trying but failing to act nonchalant—picking at his nails, casually crossing his legs, but clearly waiting for Tyrus to drink. Watching to see if Tyrus could prove everything was alright, after he’d failed to hide the rat he hadn’t drunk from a night earlier.

Maybe if he did this for Astarion, Tyrus bargained with himself, he’d be able.

So he picked up the carcass . . . and felt all at once nauseous, terrified, and disgusted with himself, the moment it touched his lips.

“It–it smells off again,” Tyrus tried, the same excuse he’d given about the rat, though he remained a terrible liar. When Astarion just gave him an incredulous look, Tyrus sighed and lowered the carcass. “Maybe there’s something wrong with my stomach. The thrombophilic blood still affecting it, or . . .” he shook his head. Or there was just something wrong with him, Tyrus didn’t finish.

Astarion gave him a very displeased look. “Just try a taste, love,” he scolded. “I’m sure your appetite will return to you.”

Tyrus held in a shudder. “Maybe later?” he offered.

But later came, and Tyrus still had no appetite. He blamed it on the blood being too cold, promising to not wait too long next time. Astarion only frowned at the excuse.

For the rest of their tenday in Baldur’s Gate, Astarion didn’t press the issue at least—but he did make pointed remarks about all the new animals and occasional criminals he was tasting, and suggested multiple times that Tyrus join him once they figured out that Polymorph could allow them to go out together. Frowning, every time Tyrus just nodded or gave a noncommittal answer.

It wasn’t until they were down in the Underdark, on the trail of the spawn horde, that Tyrus’s starvation became a liability.

Astarion had always been faster. But with the little rest his mind allowed him, and more than two tendays since he last drank—from a thrombophilic victim, no less—Tyrus was slowing them down terribly. His feet were quick to stumble and make noise, his magic was harder to access. Back at the palace, there were plenty of times he’d been much worse off than this, but few situations where it mattered. Now, in one of the most dangerous terrains in Faerun, he was a liability to them both.

So Tyrus felt a bit of hope, when Astarion went off to scout around the hollow they’d found for the night and came back tugging a deep rothe carcass with him.

“I drank half,” he said with a wide, blood-smeared smile. “The rest is for you, love.”

Tyrus quickly finished his Tiny Hut casting, kneeling over the creature with surprise and interest. The blood smelled rich and strange, but good. Certainly like nothing Tyrus had tasted before.

And yet, when he lowered his lips towards the bite mark Astarion had already made in its fur, Tyrus felt his insides twist with revulsion.

He thought of the rat Leon had used to trap him, that Cazador had spent tendays beating him over. He thought of the larger, festering one he’d hid in the drawer, that had put him in a tomb for a year. Worse, he thought of the rabbit, limp and twisted and deformed in his grip as Cazador raped him. He could still feel it almost, the blood curdling in his stomach the moment he realized what he’d paid for it.

And, much too viscerally, Tyrus thought of the gingery thrombophilic blood resting like lead in his undead limbs, clotting in his lungs, splitting pain in his abdomen and head.

Tyrus heard Astarion let out a small exhale of disbelief, as he pulled back without so much as wetting his lips. But he couldn’t do it. He needed to—but he couldn’t.

“I don’t think I’m hungry enough yet,” he murmured, sitting back up. “You finish it, love.”

When Astarion didn’t immediately answer, he made the mistake of fully looking at him—and felt his soul crumble at the confusion, worry, and heartbreak in his partner’s eyes. Things Tyrus had never wanted to see on Astarion’s face again, and all of it because of him.

Tyrus felt tears build in his eyes in return, and he buried his head in his hands before his face could fully twist with despair. It seemed like all he could do the last two tendays was cry or make problems. Shouldn’t he be happy, not a broken mess? Shouldn’t he want to drink all the blood he could, as he’d dreamed of for so long?

Couldn’t he at least force it down now, for Astarion’s sake?

“I don’t know what’s wrong,” he whispered, just before he felt familiar arms come around him, pulling him into his partner’s chest. Tyrus collapsed into it, letting his tears soak into the ruffles of Astarion’s new silk shirt. “I know it’s fine now, and I’m hungry, I should . . .”

“Shhh,” Astarion hushed, holding him just a bit tighter. Kissing the top of Tyrus’s head, before he murmured, “You’re alright.”

After the tears passed, Tyrus shook his head. Sighing as he admitted, “I’m not. I’m slowing us down—we’ll never catch up to them, at this rate.”

Astarion gently pulled back from their embrace and met his eyes with a rather serious expression. “I don’t care when or if we ever find them, Tyrus,” he replied, reaching forward to wipe at his tears. “I’m worried about you. Is there something you would like? Or think might be easier to try, at least?” Astarion let out a sad chuckle, adding, “I’d track down a dragon for you, love, if I knew you’d drink it.”

That cracked a smile on Tyrus’s face as well. Then he sniffed, glancing down at the large creature. “It smells good,” he admitted softly. “Different enough I thought I wouldn’t . . .”

“Recall a bad memory?” Astarion guessed correctly.

“Many,” Tyrus nodded with a sigh—though it wasn’t just the memories, he knew. More accurately, it was all the terrible associations the memories had given him, compounded into one deep aversion.

An aversion he simply couldn’t afford.

“I’ll try again,” Tyrus tried to convince himself, pulling away fully to lean down towards the bovine creature. Focusing in on the differences he could smell in the dead animal’s cooling blood than anything he’d drunk before—more earthy and herbal, for a start.

“That’s it,” he heard Astarion sigh with relief, a hand grounding on his lower back as he pressed his lips over his lover’s bite and forced himself to try. And Tyrus felt a small thrill of happiness, both as the first taste warmed his tongue and when he heard Astarion continue to praise, “You’re doing so well, darling,” already pulling back Tyrus’s hair before he could brush it out of the way himself.

And for a while, he was doing well. Tyrus felt his hunger take over quickly, his instinctive need overriding the crackling static of fear and revulsion in the back of his mind. He couldn’t swallow it down fast enough, near choking with how fast his mouth pulled it in.

Then the carcass twitched, when he needlessly tightened his grip.

All at once Tyrus’s mind catapulted back in time again, now to the day Astarion had tried Polymorph to be fed from, and Tyrus hadn’t even been conscious of how much the lion was fighting him as he greedily drank, taken over by bloodlust for so long before he came to his senses and allowed Astarion to scamper away, bleeding and crying . . .

Tyrus pulled away from the carcass just before he gagged, blood revolting halfway to his stomach—choking out a large portion of it onto the ground.

“That’s alright,” he heard Astarion still soothing him, hands still grounding on his back as Tyrus huffed and gasped then stared blearily at the pool of blood he’d wasted.

But not all of it had been lost. Tyrus could feel his head clearing a significant amount, his focus sharpening, his limbs lightening. This harrowing memory couldn’t hold him for long—Astarion was right here, after all, free and healthy.

So Tyrus sat up straighter, licking absentmindedly at his lips as he turned to Astarion and murmured, “Thank you.”

Astarion gave him a feigned look of confusion. “For allowing you a small taste? This was nothing, darling—I could go and fetch us a whole second beast if this is what you can stomach—though perhaps cattle from the surface might go down smoother for you . . .“

“You are wonderful, you know,” Tyrus laughed, before leaning in and kissing him.

Astarion froze in surprise—and then he let out a pleased moan, kissing back with enthusiasm as he tasted the fruit of his labors on Tyrus’s tongue.

[sapphosclown]

tj kippen loves chappell roan btw. he told me.

[the-last-teabag]

A little Bunny-rus and Cat-starion cuddling for all eternity <3 Finally being happy in undisturbed togetherness.

Many thanks at @imagineitdearies for creating my favorite drow in the whole D&D universe.

Anyone who hasn't read it yet, please check out their fanfic Perfect Slaughter

[fairykippen]

rip amber kippen you would’ve loved renee rapp

[secretly-of-course]

I hope Cyrus and TJ found the copycat recipes for the olympic village chocolate chocolate chip muffins

[twotales]

SGA Background Character Register

Pegasus Natives | Genii

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Decided to start a Pegasus Native register

I'm debating on adding a sheet that describes these characters' attributes so they can be easily added to any fic

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Notes:

- Only Genii with names - Canonically female characters are marked because there are less of them - Alive: Meaning we never saw them die or been informed of their death

Feel free to use this as you see fit just please keep my user name on the image

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Sga Background Character Register | Atlantis Expedition S1

[blueraine]

feeling grief over deleted fanfiction

side note: i know the andi mack fandom is fully dead by now but if anyone has any idea how to get dumb binch juice andi mack fics after they deleted their account please please send them to me i need them very much

[bearenjoyers]

sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.

and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.

and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.

[littleskrib]

A Story in Hair |29032024 The narrative is very much embedded in how Tyrus's hair develops throughout the story; where there's progress and step backs, wins and losses, neglect and care.

| based on "Perfect Slaughter" by asterdurge

reader discretion is advised, pls read the tags before checking it out

-

You want to see WIPs, exclusive content and artworks earlier? Consider supporting me on Patreon ✨

[etincelise]

how much longer are we going to pretend that lemon boy by cavetown isn’t an ultimate definition of tyrus?!

[slashingdisneypasta]

Good Day For It Thugs x Fem!Reader || Headcanons

Topic: You're the femme fatale of the group (a.k.a the only lady travelling with these thugs ).

Warnings: Sexual references.

Tagging: @slxsherwriter

First of all, Lyle is not part of the gang 😅 He's the leader- so he's kinda removed. He has his own car, and he always gets a motel room but you guys don't (it depends on how much money you guys have at any point-- but h e will a l w a y s get one) and have to sleep in your (one) car. You're his thugs. So he's not really gonna be in these hc's; we're gonna focus on Norman, Dale and Wayne.

When you're introduced to the group (by Lyle), it takes a few months close-quarters with them for you to go from 'a pretty little thing for them to look at' to 'sister in arms'. And it's hard, and it's annoying, because you're not into any of them that way (okay. Maybe one. But shhh!)- but when they finally relax around you and stop acting like dumbasses around you (this is more Dale and Wayne acting like dumbasses, of course- but Norman does have his own subtle way, too), it's good ^^

After that, living with them constantly, is pretty smooth sailing! ⛵⛵⛵. ... pfft.

What I mean, is its pretty smooth sailing... in comparison XD Now you're struggling the same way the others are XD Which is a lot better then the misogynistic horny boneheaded bullshit you were getting from them before... but still not great XD

I said before that Lyle will always get the motel room while y'all sleep in the car- but what if you do have money for you guys to have accommodation also?? What if you have money for more then 2 rooms, even?? Enough for one each! ?... Well you still have to share with Norman, Dale and Wayne. Yeah. Lyle's not coughing up the cash for even a suit. 2 single beds, a couch and a rollaway is the extent of what your budget will allow you guys.

And these are not gentlemen here that we're talking about. No, no 😅 They will not offer you one of the beds just cuz you're a 'lady'- you're gonna have to fight for it with Wayne and Dale. (Norman always gets one of them- he outranks the 3 of you).

These arguments usually go on for as long as the drive is to the motel (thoroughly annoying Norman), and then it's just whoever plants themselves on it first 😅😅😅 So its usually you or Dale (Wayne's slow). The car comes to a stop and then you both fly out of the car and argue at the door until Norman comes back with the keys to unlock it, then race towards the bed like 2 bats out of hell.

Dale will also race you to the shower. Sometimes you guys are on the road for days and by the time you reach a rest stop you are SCREAMING for a hot shower. Dale isn't, but he likes to annoy you so he'll try to beat you there and lock himself in for EVER-

Alternatively, Dale will not be bothered to annoy you and he'll forgo a shower. Wayne will do the same thing, he doesn't care. At that point you will have to step in, like "boys, your natural masculine musk is not as sexy as you think- get in the goddamn shower" .

One time when Dale annoyed the fuck out of you: Dale, you are young, virile man. If you don't shut the fuck up, I will take your 2 chances at creating an heir and c r u s h them-

Now- Dale is good for some things, though XD He's the only guy who's happy to help you with your 'feminine shit'. At first he was bored by it, just helping you cuz he had nothing else to do in the mornings, but now he kinda likes the chill time with you. He'll hold up mirrors for you while you do your make up and tell you if you're smudged or uneven, he'll spray the back of your head with dry shampoo and tell you if you still have white stuff showing after you ruffled it in. He'll also curiously look through your make up bag, his fingerless glove covered fingers flicking over everything you have, like oh. THATS what that does... huh.

**for y'all who have periods: As for feminine hygiene, you are totally on your own. Norman usually does the grocery shopping (no one else can be bothered, and besides they can't be trusted to get the right things) so you have to make it your business to go with him and get your shit, because he will not get it for you. Even if it's on the list. He doesn't wanna be seen in the aisle (coward 🙄). If you were his girlfriend, be would do it, but you're not 🤷‍♀️ so he won't 🤷‍♀️. Too bad.

When you're on jobs with them you're usually either partnered up with Norman or Wayne (unless you're doing your Femme Fatale Thing, obviously). Usually Wayne. Because SOMEONE has to keep his loose-canon, zero-subtlety ass from fucking up the plan 😅😆😆 You two are usually on look-out, so you have to keep him from getting his gun out or slipping away to do something not apart of the plan!!

You have chucked your legs over his lap to keep him in his chair before, seeing the evil fuck-up glimmer in his eyes. Like don't you dare. Stay put. I swear to god-

You can also distract him by bringing a pen with you and playing little games of tic tac toe on napkins.

Whenever you notice him staring at a woman, you're immediately just like 'no, no, you have nothing to offer that nice lady. you are old and stiff everywhere except the one place you should be, now get back to work grandpa- '

... he also spits in cups. You're trying to ween him off of that.

OH! ANOTHER THING YOU HAVE TO RACE DALE (and Wayne) FOR-- THE PASSENGER SEAT IN THE CAR! We see them do it in the movie, and Wayne is so slow (the man is old, let him be), so again- your main competition is Dale XD And it's crucial you get that front seat sometimes, too, because sometimes you are sleeping in the car and passenger seat is the optimal position, as Norman (The driver, obviously) very much keeps to his space when he snoozes- hands in his lap or crossed over his chest, not spreading out or anything-- but Dale and Wayne do not.

If you end up sharing the back with Dale he's gonna be playfully kicking you and pushing you to get more of the back seat for himself (well- playfully for him. It's fun for him. Not so much for you 😒. Kick him back, if you dare. Norman will get frustrated with you both and possibly lock you both outta the car for the night but come on! Dale's asking for it!!- XD). If you end up sharing with Wayne (Which 90% of the time, you do) it can go 1 of 2 ways. Either he just crosses his arms, slouches down and conks out- or he gets handsy. If he does get that way, Norman has given you the reserved right to kick the old man out for the night (I have the best mental image of him literally toppling backwards out of the car after you kick him XD ). Either way though, Wayne's happy to have you stretch out over him if you want XD Legs over his lap? Head in his lap?? He don't mind~~~ 😂😂

If Lyle ever tried to offer you up to a guy as if to 'sweeten' a deal (like saying you're happy to spend the night with the man as a show of a good business~~ yeck)???? I'd like to think Norman would stand up for you and have a private talk with his brother about it. Try to get you out of it. This isn't your job.

You help Norman trim his beard!!! XD Aghhh 💕. You stand in front of him in the bathroom of a motel or you do it in the front seats of the car, and you carefully use little clippers to neaten it up. He's very stoic, standing/sitting with his chin raised high so you can reach all of his beard. Often times he's thinking; he's got a lot to think about. Sometimes though he talks to you, and you love chatting with Norman. He's more relaxed then the other two, and more mature.

Actually you end up sharing bathroom time with Norman a lot. Because you don't have a lotta time, it just makes sense that you share 'shifts' (and you certainly will not be sharing with Wayne). Norman doesn't really pay that much attention to you when you're in there brushing your teeth together, or hiding behind the shower curtain shaving your legs- he's pretty respectful and leaves you be.

(Wayne also asks you to help him with his beard but with him its just an excuse to get you close so you don't bother XD )

Hum hum hum... something about borrowing clothes from them. It's not romantic, or sexual, it's just that none of you have had the chance to hit a laundromat in a while and you don't have anything near clean to wear!! So you take a white long-sleeve from Dale's bag to sleep in, or Norman throws you an old button up of his that you tuck into your jeans and wear to do laundry, or you grab a random hoodie out of the car cuz its freezing and it turns out to be Wayne's. Whatever.

When you guys f i n a l l y have your hands on some good cash and get to go shopping, you try every time to get Wayne to update his wardrobe. "You could be so handsome if you just dressed better!!" "Psh, come on. I- " "Just try on the coat!! Please 🥺" "I don't need new clothes! Look, they're fine!- " "I am looking, and you look like you just broke out of a federal prison- they are not fine!" "Oh would you look at that- (items you like) are on sale over there." "What?- " *you look away for a moment and Wayne ducks behind a rack before slipping out of the store*

Norman on the other hand... is very open to your fashion suggestions! XD He's happy to have you come browse with him and pick things for him to try on. You two casually chat and discuss certain styles, and he values your opinion. A lot of his wardrobe now is stuff you okay-ed.

With Dale... he just really doesn't care XD If you think he'll look good in something then fine, sure, get him that one. He doesn't wanna be clothes shopping at all, so whatever will end this the quickest will be his favourite XD

You have been known to use your ~feminine wiles~ to get discounted, or even free, take out and room service for you and your guys before XDD It all started with Dale and Wayne claiming you couldn't do it and you arguing that you TOTALLY could, and how dare they suggest otherwise, and Norman ultimately challenging you to give it a try. It worked (Obviously, you are the FEMME FATALE of the group), and now its just tradition that you accept the food when they order it and save them some money 😭🤣

BONUS THOUGHT: If you did become romantically/sexually involved with one of them- it would be s o h a r d to find a quiet, private moment to get r-rated. Especially if its Dale or Wayne. Norman can kick the others out. Not exactly subtle, but better then doing it in a bar parking (Wayne) lot or public bathroom (Dale) at least. So goodluck.

[tyrus-endgayme-confirmed]

returning to my roots with my old username <3