#love letters from negan

[mystic-writings]

ink on skin | daryl dixon

PAIRING — daryl dixon x fem!soulmate!reader

REQUEST — anon — hello! could you do an angsty story with daryl dixon? fem reader please <3 

SUMMARY — daryl gave up on the concept of soulmates long ago, even with the words marked on his wrist. and then he found you.

WARNINGS — canon-typical scenarios, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, soulmate au

WORD COUNT — 3,573

NOTES — this was supposed to be part of a really long collection of prompt drabbles from years ago but i found it in my docs and turned it into something a lot longer <3 it’s not the best (i couldn't for the life of me work out a good ending), but i think this might be one of my faves i’ve written bc of how poetic the first few paragraphs are 

masterlist | navigation | requests are open!

Daryl gave up on the concept of soulmates long before the world ended. He gave up on it when he was just a boy, when his mother died and his father stopped showing love. When he was told by his peers, his brother, his father, that no one would ever want him to stay with them, because he just wouldn’t be wanted by anyone. 

He grew to loathe the words on his wrist from a very young age. He did everything he could to cover them — makeup he stole from his aunt, long-sleeved shirts, bracelets, you name it. He’d even gotten used to not glancing at the ink scribed on his left wrist, making sure that no matter what, his eyes never fell on them. 

But even when he hated the words that sat there, waiting to be spoken by someone who cared, someone who wanted him, he couldn’t deny the countless nights he spent awake, tracing each letter and imagining what his soulmate’s voice sounded like. How would they say those three little words? What would they look like? When would he meet them? 

Daryl missed the feeling of being wanted. He only ever felt it when he was with his mother, when he was a young boy who didn’t know anything but that the sky was blue and soulmates were real and his father was mean. He hasn’t felt wanted — truly wanted — for a long, long time, not even when he found the group. 

Over time, with the loathing came the forgetting of the words marked on his wrist. By the time the world ended, Daryl had almost completely abandoned the reality of having a soulmate, and he rarely ever thought about it. In fact, he felt some relief in the fact that the world had ended. The chances of him finding ‘the one’ had lowered significantly now that most of the population was undead, and he had no reason to worry about being better for someone just to make it seem like he was worth loving anymore. 

For almost three years, he lived with the relief of likely not having a soulmate anymore. 

Today was an ordinary day, especially for the Alexandrians. At least, it seemed like an ordinary day. The sun was shining, people were milling around, crops were growing. But underneath the surface was something that no one wanted to address. Fear. 

Negan was beginning his wrath on the community that could barely keep itself alive. He demanded supplies, and he demanded a lot of them. So, half of Daryl’s people had gone out on runs to look for stuff. Food, clothes, medicine, whatever they could bring back. Daryl was among that group, taking a car as opposed to his motorbike and going to a high school with Carol.

At first, he volunteered to go alone, but she reasoned with him. It was too big of an area for him to cover on his own, she said. He could get hurt, or worse. And it was Carol, how could he deny her? She was his best friend, after all. So, Daryl drove in silence, Carol in the passenger seat, staring curiously at him. 

The feeling of her eyes on his annoyed him to no end, and eventually, the archer caved. 

“There somethin’ on my face or wha’?”

“Nothing,” Carol chirped. “Just… thinking.” 

“‘Bout wha’?” Daryl asked, sparing a glance at the woman. 

Carol shrugged, eyeing her friend. “About those words, on your arm.” 

Daryl tensed, shifting his posture to hopefully hide them from Carol’s view. “And?”

“Well, they’re not gone, for one.” She stated, a lilt in her voice. “And they’re… interesting first words for a soulmate, don’t you think?”

“How am I supposed ta know? I ain’t never seen anyone else’s tattoos. And it ain’t like I got a good chance of meetin’ ‘em, with all this shit goin’ on.” Daryl grumbled, watching Carol shrug and avert her gaze, looking ahead at the road. 

“Just saying… I wouldn’t give up hope, Daryl.” 

How would Carol know whether or not he should give up hope? Sure, she’d been the person closest to him aside from Rick, but even she knew nothing about his soulmate. Hell, he was still trying to figure out how she knew exactly what words marked his wrist. Still, he shook the thoughts from his head and continued the drive in silence, as though nothing had been spoken between the pair. 

Somehow, the high school Daryl and Carol had arrived at seemed to be completely abandoned. 

There were no walkers roaming around outside the grounds, most of the windows were intact, and the parking lot was practically void of cars. It was a small town, but from what Daryl could remember of the high schools they’d driven past or looted during their time at the prison, he figured most high schools in small towns — like this one, in particular — would’ve been turned into aid camps for refugees. 

Even with no signs of life, Carol and Daryl kept their weapons up as they entered through the main doors. 

Flashlight beams swept over every inch of the school, and it became clear as to why there were no walkers. Rotting bodies littered the linoleum floors, dried blood splattered over tile and wall and metal lockers. A stench that the pair had, unfortunately, gotten used to, permeated the air, filling their guts with a permanent feeling of nausea. 

The first place they’d found was the nurse’s office, and while there wasn’t much in the way of medicines, there were supplies that Alexandria was lacking. Gauze, tension wraps, bandaids, generic over the counter medicines like ibuprofen and Gravol. Whatever was left, Carol loaded into the backpack she’d brought, filling it to the brim with what they found. 

“Cafeteria should be this way,” she nodded down the hall, flashlight sweeping across the path before they exited. 

Passing by empty classroom after empty classroom, Daryl said, “Migh’ need some of this stuff for later, when the kids get older, ya know? Be good for ‘em to learn.” 

“Yeah, it would be,” Carol nodded, eyes landing on a set of double doors to her right. “Maybe we’ll come back for all that stuff later.” 

Daryl grunted in affirmation, about to push the cafeteria door open with his shoulder. He paused as a loud thump echoed down the hall. His eyes flashed, followed by the beam of his flashlight, landing on a singular closed door, a plastic chair propped under the handle. 

“Leave it,” Carol advised. “It’s just a walker.” 

Daryl nodded, but his eyes lingered on the door for a moment. Deciding to leave it be, he pushed the cafeteria door open, finding it empty yet again. The pair crossed the large area to the hot table, where they could already see some canned goods lying about on the tables. 

“If there were people here,” Carol began, “why wouldn’t they have taken the food with them when they left?”

“Why’s that matter?” Daryl asked, propping his crossbow against the wall and pulling out his knife. He knelt by the door to the kitchen, putting his flashlight down and wedging the blade between the frame. “‘S more for us, ‘s all that matters. Don’ gotta question everythin’,” 

Carol said nothing, keeping her flashlight trained on the door for Daryl to use as extra light. 

After prying open the door, the pair used a cart to transport the mounds of large, sealed canned goods. With Carol pulling and Daryl pushing, they’d made quick work of the first two trips they needed to make, loading their trunk as best as they were able. 

On their way out of the third and final trip, Carol held the cafeteria door open as Daryl pushed the half-full cart, stopping abruptly as the door started to swing shut behind him. 

“What? What is it?”

“I hear somethin’,” Daryl muttered, straining his ears to listen for the noise again. He listened for what felt like decades, and just when he thought he was going crazy, he heard it again. “There,”

“What? I didn’t hear anything,” Carol said. 

“Nah, I heard it. Comin’ from this way,” he gestured down the part of the hall they hadn’t bothered exploring. Slowly, focused entirely on identifying the noise, Daryl crept down the hall, a confused Carol following him. 

Just as he’d been passing the room with the chair blocking the door, Daryl heard two sounds: a dull thunk, and a hiccuping cry. He stopped, turning to the door that had drawn his attention before. 

“Daryl, it’s just a walker,” Carol insisted. “Let’s go, we got what we need.” 

The archer didn’t listen, footfalls nearly silent against the linoleum as he approached the door, knife raised. In quick motions, Daryl pulled the chair from the door, sending it down the hall with a resounding screech, grabbing at the handle and pulling it open. The hinges squeaked as he peered within the dark, small room — a supply closet, he’d discerned from the cleaning products lining the shelves. All sense of danger left him when he wasn’t met with a walker, but instead a girl, her body half-laying, half-sitting, propped against the wall. 

Daryl’s eyes widened, taking in her form. She was covered head to toe in dirt and grime, save for the clear tear tracks down her cheeks and neck. Her hair was matted, and the side of her calf, just above the ankle, was wrapped in dirtied bandages. Her only protection was a small knife, covered in dried blood, the handle of which rested in her limp hand. 

“Holy shit,” Daryl blurted, catching the attention of Carol, but barely gaining acknowledgement from the girl before him. 

Carol, peeking over Daryl’s shoulder, moved first. She darted around the archer’s broad frame, kneeling down at the girl’s calf. Peeling the bandage from her skin, Carol sighed in relief, finding a deep gash where she feared there might have been a bite mark. “She’s hurt,” Carol remarked, moving closer to search for a pulse. “And barely alive.” 

“Go bring the cart out, I’ll carry her out,” Daryl’s eyes never left the girl’s form as Carol left. Carefully, he scooped the girl into his arms, relief flooding him when a weak, protesting groan fell from her chapped lips.

There was no telling how long she’d been stuck in that closet, without food or water, simply left to die. And based on the chair propped against the door… it had been intentional. 

Daryl carried her to the car with ease, having Carol assist him as he laid you across the back seat, taking the time to make sure she would be secure as they drove. After confirming that everything was packed into the trunk, Daryl peeled out of the school parking lot, the drive back to Alexandria being much shorter than the one to the school. 

The sun was setting when the car passed the gates, and from there, things passed in a flurry of motion. Daryl carried the girl to the infirmary himself, watching Tara and Denise move about hastily to heal this mystery woman. 

“What happened to her?” Denise asked, cutting the bandage from her ankle. 

“Dunno,” Daryl huffed. “Found her like tha’. Musta been trapped for a while. Few days without water, at least.”

Denise only nodded, working to clean the wound and stitch it. She barely had the focus to think about the wound itself, how deep it was and the likelihood of infection setting in. Tara worked at cleaning the girl’s skin, inserting an IV into her hand like she’d been taught. 

The sun had set by the time they were done, the girl changed into new clothes and her skin cleaned of grime. Tara had been sitting by her side when Daryl came back to the infirmary, after going to the Grimes home to eat something and give as much information as he could to Rick and Michonne. 

“How’s she doin’?”

“As good as she can,” Tara smiled awkwardly. “I don’t think she’ll be waking up anytime soon, she’s like— super dehydrated. It’s been an hour and I’ve had to change the bag thingy twice already.”

Daryl grunted in acknowledgement, pulling up a chair on the other side of the girl’s bedside. He didn’t know much about her — or anything, really, not even her name — but even with her chapped lips and sickly look, he thought she was beautiful. And he also knew that whoever had left her in that closet had done so on purpose. He figured it might have been because of her injury, but it was cruel no matter which way he tried to paint it. 

He just hoped she’d be okay when she woke up. 

It took the mystery girl three days to wake up. Managing her health at a time where there weren’t any real supplies to use had been difficult, and it took all of Denise’s focus to make sure she had enough fluids. 

Waking up in an unfamiliar, oddly clean, room, on a bed, with no stench of rotting bodies wafting through the air was confusing, terrifying, and oddly comforting. 

Your body woke with a jolt, eyes snapping open like you’d woken from a nightmare of sorts. There was movement to your right, and you jumped back from it, frantic eyes finding a blonde girl attempting to calm you without touching you as best as she was able. 

“Hey, hey, you’re okay, you’re safe.” She’d said, stressing the last word. “One of our guys found you in a supply closet and brought you here. He— He said you were half dead.” 

Pure fear and confusion kept your mouth shut. The girl kept talking, asking questions, but you couldn’t bring yourself to respond to any of it. The pain in your leg hadn’t been of any help, pulsing and throbbing with every slight movement. 

By the time she’d realized you weren’t going to respond, she sighed and moved over to the kitchen to your right. When she came back, she placed some food and a tall glass of water on the bedside table, backing away slowly as she spoke. “I’m Denise. The man who found you, Daryl, is on his way to see you. Maybe you’ll feel more comfortable talking to him?”

The idea of speaking to anyone, even the man you vaguely remember before passing out due to dehydration, made your stomach roll. Still, you picked up the plate, gratefully digging into the food you were given. Drinking the water, you relished the feeling of it sliding down your throat. Water was something you hadn’t had in what felt like years, and you’d be damned if you didn’t cherish what you’d been given. 

As you finished up, the door creaked open, and your body stiffened. You watched a burly, reserved man step inside, his movements hesitant. You watched Denise approach, whispering something to him — likely about you. Presuming this was Daryl, you willed yourself to relax, even as you pulled your knees tight to your chest, arms locked around them. 

You watched him approach the bedside, standing awkwardly beside you as you looked into his eyes. Strikingly blue, surprisingly soft. 

“Hey. Ya alright?” He asked. His voice was rough, southern accent awfully thick. But his words sounded soft, somehow. Small. Like he was trying not to frighten you. 

All you could manage was a nod. He huffed, nodding back, clearly somewhat relieved that you were at least communicating somehow. You kept your eyes on him, tracing every inch of his face and his clothes. It was clear to you, though you were unsure of how, that he must’ve been built for this world. Daryl seemed out of place in this clean, crisp, white room, and when you pictured him in the woods, he seemed to blend right in. 

After a moment, he turned and went back to talk to Denise. They spoke in hushed whispers, and you thought back to the exchange you’d just had. Your mind had been reeling, so caught up in the entire situation, that the words Daryl had spoken didn’t register. And neither did the tingling across the inside of your wrist. 

Pulling down the sleeve of your shirt, your fingers grazed at the skin where the words you’d been waiting your whole life for the right person to say used to be. With wide eyes, you found the words gone, replaced by a slight scar of where they had once been inscribed. It was surreal, and definitely not the time. 

“Hey,” Daryl called out as he came to stand beside you again, voice still soft despite its natural roughness. “Doc said ya can leave if ya want. I know ya don’t know me, but if ya want… ya can stay with me. I got a cot ya can sleep on, if yer okay with tha’,” 

You mustered up a small smile, nodding at the man before you — your soulmate. You’d been wishing to find him your entire life, but with the world ending, you put that aspiration aside. You certainly hadn’t expected to find him when you were at the brink of death, trapped by the selfish people you’d once considered family. 

Carefully, you slipped out from the blankets, stumbling as you put weight on your injured leg. Luckily, Daryl caught you, wrapping an arm around your waist as the other guided your arm to rest around his neck. Wordlessly, you watched his cheeks flush red as he shifted his weight before you began walking. 

It was painful, getting to the house he lived in. Not because of your leg, but because of the proximity. Along with the fact that you couldn’t bring yourself to speak a single word, not even to him. 

As you settled into the large basement room he’d taken, he told you more about the community, about his people. The ones who lived here — Rick, Michonne, Carl, and Judith — were family to him. The others were the same, but they all lived in different homes. He laid out the cot as you sat on the bed, watching intently as his voice reverberated around the room, rattling your heart in your chest. 

“I know ya don’t talk much,” he huffed, rooting through a bag of his and pulling something out. “But ya can write, right?”

You nodded, watching a smile play on his lips as he handed you a notepad and pen. 

“Can ya tell me yer name, at least? So we can call ya somethin’ that ain’t jus’ ‘girl’?”

Smiling, you wrote out your name and handed the paper back to him. Your smile widened when you heard him say your name, meeting his eyes as he looked back up at you. 

“Ya can talk, right?” You nodded. 

Daryl nodded, leaving the pen and paper with you, just in case. “‘M gonna go find Rick, tell him yer stayin’ with me fer now. Alright?”

The thought of Daryl leaving you, of being alone, in an unfamiliar place, with no light aside from the window at the very top of the wall, shocked the fear back into you. As he turned, heading for the door that led to the stairs, your breath caught in your throat. As quickly as you were able, you reached out, grabbing the man’s wrist and pulling him back to face you. 

“Please, don’t leave.” You whispered, voice gravelly and strained. It surprised even you, eyes widening as you met Daryl’s gaze. But his carried a certain fear as his eyes tore from your own, locking onto the wrist you’d caught. 

Following his line of sight, your heart stuttered, watching the ink on his arm begin to fade into his skin, into the same imprinted scar of words that you had. 

“Yer…” he breathed, eyes filling with tears.

“Yeah,” you whispered, eyes watering, watching him as his eyes remained on his wrist. “Your soulmate.” 

Daryl pulled his wrist from your delicate hold, his mind on overdrive. He’d thought it ironic, that the apocalypse had only pushed him closer to his soulmate instead of further apart. And now, the words he’d been desperate to cover throughout his life were finally gone, and the woman that the universe decided was meant for him was sitting on his bed, saved from the cusp of death because of him. All because he couldn’t take his mind off the closet with the chair blocking the door. 

His hand came to his wrist, rubbing at the skin that was no longer tainted with words he thought would never be spoken. And despite all of the fear Daryl carried with him over the years, the gratefulness he had for the apocalypse and the relief that he’d never have to let down his soulmate when they saw that he wasn’t good enough for them, he felt none of it when he looked at you. 

All he could feel was happy. Relief, not that the world had ended, but that you were safe and healthy. 

And, all of a sudden, meeting your eyes, Daryl was okay with the idea of having a soulmate. All the words that had been spat his way growing up, all the times he was desperate to pretend like he didn’t have a soulmate didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was you. 

It would take time for Daryl to feel like he deserved you, he knew that. But you were here, and you were alive. That was enough for now.

Forever taglist: @mazerunnerrose @theboldandthebootyful @miraclesoflove @heliads

Daryl Dixon taglist: @katrina765 @hp-hogwartsexpress @ellablossom @alexxavicry @avabh12 (open!)

taglist form here!

[writella]

hi writella!! i love your writing sm <3

Is there anyway you could do a pervy!daryl or stepdad!daryl x reader?? or maybe a pervy!negan or stepdad!negan x reader??

💗💗💗

Hi and thank you!!!! I’ll do some perv!daryl headcanons for now. And if you’d like me to do negan, just ask again, but also read this Negan headcanon I wrote because I think it also gives “pervy” vibes since he’s daydreaming about the reader.

Here are some perv!daryl + weird boyfriend!daryl headcanons:

- Okay, so to start, I believe Daryl is more of a freak in his mind than in reality– there are some things he’d only ever do or reveal once he felt very comfortable and accepted in his relationship.

- This is because he’s a late bloomer and it takes him a long time to open up— we all know this.

- But it’s also because he would always be very concerned with treating you right; trying to be very gentle and caring even though he’s extremely awkward, doesn’t know his strength, and doesn’t see himself as a gentleman type like his friends, etc, etc… so he’s always trying to be good to/for you, but here are some things he would do if he 100% acted on the weirder parts of his mind:

-If this is before you started dating, everything would be very secret, with lots of daydreaming:

- Listening in while you masturbate when you think you’re home alone, of course; Stealing panties from your drawers or laundry bag, of course; Smelling them or going in the closet to smell the center of your jeans to see if your scent is there too, of course... basic stuff.

- Moving on, the first time you’re on the back of his bike, he tells you that it’s dangerous if you don’t hold on tight and lean into him, so you’re basically squeezing his waist with your core riding up on his lower back and ass, and he always tells you to move in more from time to time so he can feel the friction of you moving against him— even if just for a moment.

- He always wondered if it made you wet, and it did, but you’d never tell him. You thought you were the freak for thinking that while he was just trying to make sure you’re safe.

- Sometimes, when you have to go on his bike again, you’d do a little prayer, hoping it wouldn’t happen this time, and sometimes it doesn’t, but most of the time, it always does.

- And while you would go to the bathroom as soon as you got home to clean yourself and try not to think about it because Daryl was just the nice man who brought you home to Alexandria just a few months ago, he was jacking off in his room trying to remember exactly how your front felt against his back as if it were still happening.

- If you were dating someone else, he’d silently hate them and just daydream of you coming to him at night and telling him that they can’t satisfy you, and he fucks the daylights out of you instead.

- He also loves daydreaming about you needing to sleep next to him one night for whatever reason and he either hears you have a sex dream he needs to alleviate, or you are asking him to hold you because it’s cold and you keep moving and it just ends with you having sex, or him waking up to you stroking his dick through his pants and that ends with you bouncing on him, or you’re cuddling while sleeping in what he imagines and calls your “girly” pajamas, and he slides his thigh in between and out of nowhere you start grinding on it. Literally, anything that has to do with you looking all clean and cute and fucking in bed is all he thinks about when he’s either going to sleep or waking up in the morning.

- He also fantasizes about eating you out on your period. He’s never done it before and wants to so bad.

- One time you wrote him a letter to say thank you for bringing you here and giving you a home, saying how “I owe everything to you and if you ever need me, I’ll always be there for you,” and of course that became one of his favorite things to read to masturbate.

- Also, if you liked women as well, I think he would just be into the fact that you like pussy or that you’ve eaten pussy before, and the thought makes him super hard.

- He imagines he’d have a threesome with you and a woman but only if you really wanted to. He’d most likely just ended up pleasing you though. That’s really all he wants, to see you satisfied, that’s the part of the fantasy that really gets him off, seeing you happy and seeing a part of your true self he hasn’t seen before.

- Now, after you two start dating:

- Daryl would ask you not to flush the toilet after you go to the bathroom just because he wants to smell it– he never tells you that part, though. He finds all your smells extremely intoxicating for some reason.

- You’re always just confused, but you’ve come to terms with the fact that you have a weird boyfriend. I mean, he showers weekly, not daily— he only does so daily when you tell him to, especially if he plans on sleeping in your bed that night— he collects random rocks and knows the names for all of them, has random animal teeth in his pocket, barley talks, is a starer, one time wore walker ears around his neck like a chain, and can shoot any animal, or person, if he needed to, straight in the head at nearly any distance. He could be quite unsettling to many people. You loved him though. And so did Rick and everyone in the group.

- But thank goodness they didn’t know some of the other things he does when alone.

- Like there was one time he just randomly sniffed your armpit, like a long ass inhale, during sex and you didn’t get why but you were too in the moment to question it. You just started laughing and then he started fucking you harder until you shut up because he got embarrassed.

- He really wants to do it again though, he just hasn’t yet. But he’s thought about it. More than once. He liked the smell. A lot.

- He also asked you to ride his arm (think of it as an alternative version of this story) because he knows a lot of people in town say he has nice arms and looks very strong so he feels confident about them and thinks you wetting his arm up with your slick is hot.

- Daryl somehow always knows when it's that time of the month. It honestly scares you how accurate he is. Again, another thing you’ve just decided to accept about your weird boyfriend.

- He’s always asking how your cramps are because if they’re bad he’s taking you to the bedroom and fucking you, and most importantly, eating you out.

- The first time it happens you’re absolutely shocked. Having sex on your period is one thing, but oral sex? You never knew someone could be into that, to desire the taste of your literal period blood, but here’s Daryl being as slobbery as ever, and even more of a mad dog honestly than when you’re not on your period.

- But there was something about him doing it, the way it happened so fast, how horny he was, that was just so fucking hot you simply couldn’t stop him when he took off your panties and dived in. You were so surprised by his forwardness and that’s another reason you could not resist him.

- You were moaning so loud; he had never heard you like that, but it just came over you and it made his confidence sky rocket. You didn’t even hear when Rick came in downstairs in the middle of it….. you were so embarrassed later, but it was one of the best heads Daryl had ever given you. That man was hungry for it.

- You told him it was very good and that you liked it, but you’ve never asked him to do it. At this point, you just always know it’s going to happen at least once when your period comes, and you just get secretly excited about it. You’ll never let him know. You want him to think he’s the weird one but in truth, you dream about any time he’s done it when he’s gone on a trip and he is just happy he finally gets to do what he always fantasized about and you didn’t think he was strange for it.

- One of the first times you had sex, Daryl pushed your panties to the side and fucked you while you were still wearing them. It was one of his favorites that he liked smelling from your drawer before you dated so he asked if he could keep them now and you were almost speechless as to why— especially because it’s hard to find good pairs in the post-apocalypse— but you just said yes because the sex was good, and because again, he was your weird boyfriend and you secretly liked that about him.

- Sometimes he’d put them back on you to fuck you the way he did the first time.

- If you think about it too hard it kind of grosses you out because you could only imagine how dirty they are— you knew he he probably never cleaned them— so you just try not to and just focus on the fact that stoic and grumpy mister Daryl is unabashedly grunting and groaning on top of you just how you like.

- Daryl hardly does his laundry— Carol is very kind, only because they’re best friends, and still helps him out with it when he actually gets around to wanting to clean it or doesn’t want to bother you that day— but one time he tells you he’s doing it and wants to help you out with yours. Once again, you are shocked, but you happily give it to him— one less chore for you so you take it.

- Little do you know he’s obviously sniffing all your panties and specifically looking for the ones that might be a little hard at the center so he can suck on them.

- God! These things are so much easier to do now that you’re a couple. He loves it. 😁

- Alt!timeline– If you were dating Rick instead of Daryl:

- Obviously, he’d like to listen in on Rick fucking you, making love to you, anything.

- And maybe he even kind of like and was turned on by the fact that it was Rick fucking you specifically. Something about it made him jealous in a way that he secretly liked. But he keeps that in the back of his mind and just focuses on your voice.

I know this is probably nothing to some of you but I’m Daryl’s good girl! I’m Lana Del Rey Ocean Blvd era! I can’t believe I thought of some of these. I feel like the girl in my last fic who felt dirty calling him daddy… excuse the crashout. :’)

[smutinlove]

↳ CARL GRIMES MASTERLIST

—dedicated to the whores of alexandria and the walking dead.

special mentions: @hiro--aoki @carlsdarling @taylormarieee @loveforcarl @jas2010 (im mentally ill and these are my pookies)

rules for requesting

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Smut —Carl gets jealous when Ron tries to hit on you

Smut—Carl gets rough

Smut—Slutty slut

Smut-Dinner with Grimes—You and Carl decided to host dinner at your place. But you wanted to tease Carl, so you wore an extremely short dress.

Smut—Begging

Smut—Just sex

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Suggestive—Eyes apparently don't lie

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Fluff—Reader writes a love letter/appreciation letter

Fluff-Cabin—Carl Grimes asks to marry you

Fluff—CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Fluff—NEW YEAR SPECIAL (2024)

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Angst—Carl, Rick, and Glenn notice that the reader hasn't been eating/sleeping. They force an intervention.

Angst—Reader cries about Carl's death

Angst—Reader dies. Carl cries. (Lineup)

Angst—Reader hurts herself. Carl comforts her.

Angst —Carl comforts an insecure reader. SH WARNING

Angst leading to fluff—Carl goes on a scavenging trip but gets lost. The reader goes to look for him.

Angst—After Negan kills readers father figure, Glenn Rhee, she and Carl start to fight a lot. One day, after an intense fight, Negan suddenly arrives to Alexandria. He manipulates the reader to Carl.

Angst/fluff—Dad figure Glenn. Carl hangs out with Enid a lot, making the reader jealous. !argument

Angst/fluff—Shy/sensitive reader. Carl and reader fight because she sneaks out and Rick scolds Carl, making him apologize.

Angst/fluff—Dad figure Glenn. Reader runs away because she hates Enid and her father figure adopted her. Carl finds her.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Small Series

You were my light part 1 —The daughter of the now dead Negan Smith is walking in the woods. She thought she was alone. But she wasn't.

You were my light part 2

You were my light part 3

You were my light part 4

You were my light part 5

You were my light ALTERNATIVE ENDING—The daughter of Negan Smith wakes up from what she thought was real but was a dream. She wants to find him. Y/N Smith wants to find Carl Grimes.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

WORDS BURN HARD: CARL GRIMES X FEM!OC

Chapter One: The Woods

Chapter Two: Undetected

Chapter Three: Solitude

Chapter Four: a secret

Chapter Five: I watch as you're leaving

Chapter Six: Meddlsome

Chapter Seven: The Journal

Chapter Eight: A caged boy

Chapter Nine: Lavenders

Chapter Ten: Little Blue light

Chapter Eleven: Shopping and Paranoia

Chapter Twelve: The Start of Shame

Chapter Thirteen: War of Shame

Chapter Fourteen: Linked Destiny

Chapter Fifteen: Resurrection

Chapter Sixteen: coming soon

[grimeshound]

LIKE FORTNITE, I'MA NEED YOUR SKIN.

word count: 1,517

pairing: negan x you

summary: you decide to try out one of negan's video games, curious about what it might offer. before long, you get distracted and stumble upon something far more tempting to play with.

warnings: 18+, dry humping, grinding, teasing, oral (m receiving), throat fucking, dirty talk

a/n: title from agora hills cuz i've found myself playing it a lot while writing ... if inside out was real pre-apocalypse gamer negan would be controlling my mind 24/7

---

“Shit!” you cursed, the screen glowing with the dreaded “You Died!” flashing in bold letters.

Behind you, Negan chuckled, that smug bastard leant back in his chair, enjoying your frustration. It wasn’t often he got to see you like this—riled up, cursing at a game the way he usually did. Normally, you’d be the one poking fun at him, teasing him mercilessly when he got too into his games. But tonight, the tables had turned, and he was loving every second of it.

“You good there, darlin’?” he drawled, voice thick with amusement.

You huffed, sitting cross-legged on his lap, the controller gripped tight in your hands. “How the hell do you play these? They’re rigged!”

Negan let out a deep laugh, his chest rumbling against your back. “Oh, sweetheart, they ain’t rigged. You just suck.”

That earned him a sharp glare over your shoulder, but the corner of your mouth twitched. “Help me, then, Mr. Expert.”

He quirked a brow, his grin widening. “You sure? Might cost ya.” You rolled your eyes but handed him the controller anyway. “Just do it.”

He placed his large hands over yours, guiding you as you clumsily pressed the buttons on his controller. His chest pressed flush against your back, his breath ghosting over your ear, making you shiver. You tried focusing on the screen, but the proximity was getting to you, especially when you noticed something else—a certain tension beneath you. Negan was quiet, unusually so, and that silence made you grin. You weren’t married to Negan without learning a thing or two about taking advantage of rare opportunities.

Deciding to test the waters, you shifted slightly in his lap, pretending to adjust your position. The soft groan that escaped him told you all you needed to know. Negan was painfully hard underneath you. 

You decided to test your luck further, rolling your hips slightly against him. A low, guttural groan slipped from his lips before he could stop it. 

“Like that?” you asked innocently, feigning focus on the screen, though the phrase carried a double-edged meaning.

Negan chuckled darkly, his grip tightening on your hips. “You little tease,” he drawled, his voice thick with approval. “Yeah, just like that. Goddamn.”

Emboldened, you kept going, grinding against him with deliberate intent now. One hand gripped his thigh for support as you moved, feeling the unmistakable hardness beneath you. Your soft gasps filled the room, and you couldn’t help but look down, catching the girthy outline straining against his sweatpants.

“Negan—” you whimpered, breathless, the friction almost too much.

He smirked, the sight of you driving him insane. “What’s the matter, baby? Can’t handle what you started?” His words were a challenge, but his eyes were locked on the way you moved, hungry and dark. You gonna play, or just sit there lookin’ pretty?” Negan teased, his voice dripping with that cocky tone he carried so well. At the same time, he shifted beneath you, just enough to remind you of the pressure growing against your core.

“Hard to concentrate with you distracting me,” you muttered, biting your lip as you felt his hand slide down to your thigh, squeezing gently.

“Distracting, huh?” he chuckled, his lips brushing against your ear. “Sweetheart, you’re the one grindin’ on me like you’re tryin’ to start somethin’.”

Abandoning your hands from the controller entirely, you quickly stripped your shirt, shorts and underwear off, baring yourself to him. Negan’s smirk faltered for just a second as his eyes raked over you, his cock twitching against the confines of his pants. You positioned yourself over him again, letting the rough fabric of his sweatpants rub against your sensitive clit, soaking the material with every movement. The friction was electric, sending a jolt of pleasure through you as you began to rock your hips, slow and deliberate.

Negan let out a low groan, his hands flying to your waist as if to steady himself—or maybe to ground himself in the reality of what you were doing. “Fuck, baby,” he growled, voice strained. “You feel that? Feel how fuckin’ hard you’ve got me?”

You nodded, biting your lip as you moved, each grind sending waves of sensation through your body. The heat radiating from him only added to the intensity, and you couldn’t stop the soft moans spilling from your lips. He couldn’t help the way his cock throbbed so damn hard, like he practically had a second heartbeat. 

“Yeah?” he teased, his grip on your hips tightening as he guided your movements. “That feel good, huh? Rubbin’ that pretty little pussy all over me like you own me.”

“I do own you,” you shot back, your voice breathy but filled with playful defiance.

Negan barked out a laugh, though it quickly dissolved into another groan as you shifted, grinding yourself harder against him. Your movements became more frantic, your hips rolling in desperate circles as you chased your release. You tilted your head back, a whimper escaping as the rough fabric hit your clit just right. “Oh, god—Negan,” you gasped, gripping his shoulders for support. “I can’t—it’s so good—”

“That’s it, baby,” he encouraged, his voice a low, dangerous purr. “Get yourself off. Soak me, make a mess—show me how bad you want it.” Negan groaned, his head falling back against the couch as his hands gripped your hips, guiding you. “Look at this mess you’re makin’.”

“Gonna cum,” you gasped, breathless and desperate.

His grin turned wicked. “Didn’t even touch you, and you’re about to fall apart? Dirty little girl.” 

You moaned at his words, hips stuttering as you finally reached your peak, crying out his name as you came hard, soaking the fabric beneath you. Negan’s gaze stayed fixed on you, groaning at the sight of the wet patch you’d left on his pants.

“Damn, baby,” he murmured, his voice rough. “Didn’t know you’d put on a whole fuckin’ show for me. Made a fuckin’ mess on me”

“Sorry, daddy,” you cooed sweetly, lips quirking into a grin. Before he could respond, you slipped off his lap, settling between his legs. “I’ll clean it up for you.” 

“Oh, you’re full of surprises today, aren’t you?” Negan chuckled, low and approving, as you tugged his waistband down. His cock sprang free, thick and heavy, and you wasted no time, wrapping your hand around him and licking a long stripe along the underside.

Negan’s eyes darkened as he looked down at you. “Shit, baby. You really do know how to shut me up.”

You took him into your mouth, sloppy and eager, knowing exactly how he liked it. Your hand worked his base as your lips stretched around him, spit and arousal coating his length. Each groan that rumbled from his chest sent heat pooling between your thighs.

But then a sharp, startled curse tore from Negan’s lips, making you pause.

“Fuckin’ hell!” he barked, glaring at the screen. The dreaded “You Died!” text flashed in bold.

You couldn’t help it—you giggled, the sound muffled as your mouth was still full. Negan’s head snapped down to look at you, his expression torn between frustration and amusement.

“Oh, you think that’s funny?” he growled, tossing the controller aside.

Before you could respond, his hands tangled in your hair, holding you firmly as he began fucking into your mouth. The obscene squelching noises filled the room, along with your muffled moans and the occasional gag as he hit the back of your throat. Tears streamed down your face, makeup smudged, but you didn’t care—you loved the way he lost control.

“That’s it, baby,” Negan groaned, his pace relentless. “Fuckin’ take it. Show me what that pretty little mouth can do.”

You felt his cock throb, his breaths growing ragged as he reached his peak. With one final thrust, he came deep in your throat, groaning loudly as you struggled to swallow every drop. When he finally pulled out, a string of saliva connected you to him, and you coughed, gasping for air.

“Shit, honey,” he rasped, tapping his cock against your cheek. “Took it like a damn champ.”

He slumped back against the couch, grinning smugly. “C’mere,” he said, gesturing for you to join him.

Climbing back onto his lap, you wrapped your arms around his neck, still catching your breath. He didn’t waste a second, pulling you in for a deep kiss, his tongue sweeping into your mouth with a hunger that left you dizzy, the warmth of his lips sending a shiver down your spine. When he finally pulled away, you couldn’t help but giggle, still flushed from the intensity.

“We both died,” you said, teasing. “Guess that makes us even.”

He barked a laugh, a low, gravelly sound that made your heart skip. His hand slid to your waist, pulling you closer, as he nodded. 

“Guess so. You game for another round?”

A mischievous grin spread across your face. “Always.”

You were more than ready to dive right back in—only this time, you were ready to ditch the game and go straight into the real action. 

[thebiggerbear]

A little collection of Christmas Fic Recs

Here is a list of some great Christmas fics for anyone who is feeling in the holiday spirit and would like to check them out:

Twinkling Tree Dreams by @winchestergirl2 - Trying to spread some christmas cheer doesn’t go quite how you planned, but maybe it will turn out even better than you hoped. (Alec McDowell x Reader, Dark Angel)

Presents and Gingerbread by @lila-lou - Ben has little interest in the season’s traditions but keeps up with the wrapping and decorations just to see you happy. Still, it didn’t take long for him to draw your attention away from the preparations, making it clear that you’re the only thing he cares about. (Soldier Boy x Reader, The Boys)

Let It Snow by @wayward-dreamer - As snow begins to fall, Dean and Y/N some much needed cuddling time in the perfect ambience they’ve created for themselves. (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader, Supernatural)

Merry Christmas Sweetheart by @jawritter - Time doesn’t heal all wounds, sometimes it just drives them into our bones and festers there, until forgiveness is a four letter word, and it’s to late for second chances. (Jensen Ackles x Reader, RPF) [Warning: ANGST]

Mechanic and Mistletoe by @deanwanddamons - Y/N, an ER nurse is driving home to her Mom on Christmas Eve. Her car breaks down on the side of the road. She calls Winchester Singer Autos and Bobby sends Dean to help her. Will she make it to her Mom in time for Christmas? And will she get back home in time for her shift on Boxing Day? (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader, Supernatural)

Let It Snow by @nesillia - Day 4 of the Christmas advent (Negan Smith x Female!Reader, The Walking Dead)

Operation Christmas Couple by @janicho88 - Some of the cast members of Supernatural have been watching the interaction of two close friends around each other. Neither one will admit to there being anything more between them. With the most magical season of the year upon them, what better time to open their eyes? Brianna and the girls, along with some help from Jared have come up with just the way to accomplish that. But are Jensen and the reader going to cooperate, or are they going to foil their plans? (Jensen Ackles x Reader, RPF)

'Twas the Night... by @zepskies - Dean listens, sometimes when you least expect it. This year, Christmas begins to become something new for both of you. (Dean Winchester x Reader, Supernatural)

Snow Globe by @jessjad - A visit from Dean and Sam in the week around christmas is a nice surprise, but will it bring more than just presents? (Dean Winchester x Reader, Supernatural)

Shades of Him by @zepskies - You make sure Beau isn’t alone this Christmas. (Beau Arlen x Female!Reader, Big Sky)

Christmas On The 26th Floor by @wayward-dreamer - Still keeping their relationship a secret, Dean and Y/N attend the annual Christmas party at Smith Construction Co, where they still manage to find a way to spend the night together. (CEO!Dean Smith x PA Female!Reader, Supernatural)

Sleigh Ride by @zepskies - Yet again, you convince Ben to indulge you in a new Christmas tradition. (Soldier Boy x Female!Reader, The Boys)

Bah Humbug! by @crashdevlin - Y/n meets Tony Stark at her job and somehow catches his attention. Y/n’s a bit of a Grinch, but when Tony Stark invites you to a party, you go. (Tony Stark x Reader, MCU)

Love Actually by @zepskies - Ben gets in late on Christmas Eve with a Grinch-like attitude, but you’re determined to force some holiday cheer into his system. At least, you hope you can, before he meets the rest of your dysfunctional family on Christmas Day. (Soldier Boy x Reader, The Boys)

Subtle Hints by @polkadotpenguin16 - Fills the Only 1 Bed square for @storiesofsvu’s Holiday Bingo 2024 (Sonny Carisi x Female!Reader, Law & Order: SVU)

Get Stuffed by @zepskies - Dean enjoys the way you cook Christmas dinner with a Latin flair, even if Sam likes to tease him about his insatiable appetite. You remind Sam about the true reason behind one of Dean’s biggest quirks. (Dean Winchester x Reader, Supernatural)

Dear Santa by @selfcarecap - Your best friend and roommate Wade is a little lonely over the holidays, third-wheeling with you and Logan the entire time. But the holidays are all about giving, so you and Logan decide to fulfil some of the more sexual wishes on Wade’s wishlist. Or: You have a threesome with Logan and Wade. (Logan Howlett x Female!Reader x Wade Wilson, MCU)

The 12 Days of Christmas Masterlist by @winchesterwild78 (Various)

I'll Be Home For Christmas by @wayward-dreamer - Dean resigns himself to the fact that his girlfriend has to miss out on Christmas with him, hard at work and trying to meet a deadline over the holidays, states away. He hopes she can make it. (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader, Supernatural)

Christmas Masterlist by @tortureddarkstar (Various)

The Christmas Party by @bring-forth-his-sac - Your first year at Alexandria High is going smoothly, until you accidentally offer to plan the staff Christmas party. To make matters worse? You're stuck planning it with the one person you made a terrible first impression on; Negan. (Negan Smith x Reader, The Walking Dead)

A Car For Christmas by @legalmente-loca - Dean doesn't seem to want to be there for Christmas, but it seems that it was quite the opposite. (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader, Supernatural)

full of us by @nochedie - dean pulled your name for secret santa - day 16 of prompt-mas for supernatural writers community! (Dean Winchester x Reader, Supernatural)

A Christmas Carol by @thesilmarillionblog - Along with other team members and their infants, Soldier Boy and you decide to spend Christmas at Butcher’s house with your three children. He has to act nice. (Soldier Boy x Reader, The Boys)

Christmas Alone With You by @winchester-girl67 - The holiday season is always a little rough for the reader and working as a photographer at Santa’s Village in the mall isn’t helping. When the guy playing Santa gets the flu and is replaced with a younger version with a pillow for a stomach, her Christmas spirit is practically non-existent. Little does she know that he might just be the one to turn things around for her this year. And maybe she can do the same for him. (Single Parent!Dean Winchester x Photographer!Reader, Supernatural)

wish list by @wildwestdean - dean shares his christmas wish with you - a short and sweet piece for day one of the Promt-Mas 2024 event in our lovely supernatural writers community; prompt 1 ’all i want for christmas’ (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader, Supernatural)

just want you for my own by @witchywithwhiskey - you convince your husband to stay home from work and pretend you've been snowed in so that you can spend the day decorating for christmas. - here's my third fic for @the-slumberparty's december daze challenge, using the prompt: "It's too cold, stay in bed." (Husband!Bucky Barnes x Curvy Female!Reader, MCU)

"it's a secret, baby" by @figurantedefilme - you just want to have a good christmas this year. - day 1: “all i want for christmas”. for the prompt-mas 2024 event from supernatural writers community (Dean Winchester x GN!Reader, Supernatural)

A Christmas Miracle by @supernotnatural2005 - An imaginative and innocent request to Santa leads to a Christmas morning revelation that brings a new level of joy and excitement to your family. - Prompt-Mas - Day one: “All i want for Christmas” - This is my first tackle at @chevroletdean Prompt-Mas for the Supernatural Writers Community. (Dean Winchester x Reader, Supernatural)

where the love light leads by @elizabethwritesmen - in high school, steve and y/n were the best of friends. now, she’s moved back to hawkins, and he hasn’t seen her since her graduation 7 years before. (Firefighter!Steve Harrington x Reader, Stranger Things)

Wishing You a Merry Christmas by @ask-paralaxis - Soldier Boy surprises Reader at work when her boss doesn’t let her off for the holiday. (Soldier Boy x Reader, The Boys)

One Cold Night by @xylodemon - They work a case, get snowed in, and share a bed, all in time for Christmas. (Destiel, Supernatural)

Christmas magic by @jessjad - Sometimes all you need is a little christmas magic to help you be at ease with the decisions you made. (AU!Dean Winchester x Reader, Supernatural)

If You Want It To Be by @zepskies - When your car breaks down after a hunt, Sam and Dean tow you back to the bunker for Christmas. This time of year gives you and Dean a little courage to be honest about what you both want. And what you want, is for him to see you. - Here’s one of my entries for @deanwinchesterswitch’s TGWRC: Christmas in July event! (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader, Supernatural)

Surprise Gift by @bullet-prooflove - Christmas Bingo Card 2024 (Joe Velasco x Reader, Law & Order: SVU)

'Tis the Damn Season by @waynes-multiverse - Dean’s had his eyes on a mysterious girl on campus since his first week at MIT. After yet another accidental run-in with his dream girl, will he finally get a chance for more this holiday season? (Engineering Student!Dean Winchester x Biology Student!Reader, Supernatural)

A Christmas wish by @jackles010378 - Weeks after the death of Dean in that barn, y/n was nearing her first Christmas without her boyfriend, as she sat under the stars and saw a shooting star she prayed to Jack for one last day with Dean as she didn't get the chance to say a proper goodbye, but knowing Jack was hands off she didn't hold her breath. As she woke up on christmas morning a surprise was waiting for her in the bunker library……….. (Dean Winchester x Reader, Supernatural)

Sam's Winter Tale by @chevroletdean - Godfather Bobby made a very special Christmas gift for Sam this year. Soon after receiving the Nutcracker doll, he is drawn into a world of wonder and adventure. (Sam Winchester x GN!Reader, Supernatural)

from me, to you by @retrosabers - as bucky’s secret santa, you’re determined to give him the best christmas present he’s ever received. (Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader, MCU)

Present by @montimer - Hc's for xmas (Wade Wilson x GN!Reader, MCU)

First Moments: Christmas by @wandering-winchesters - your first Christmas with Dean (Dean Winchester x Reader, Supernatural)

Favorite Gifts by @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior - You and Dean know exactly what you want for Christmas…just each other. (Dean Winchester x Reader, Supernatural)

Dig That Crazy Santa Claus by @pamwritessometimes - Your daughter may have uncovered her dad’s greatest secret ever. - A Tuesday’s Gone Christmas drabble (Russell Shaw x Reader, Tracker)

Christmas Wish by @kickingitwithkirk (Jensen Ackles x Reader, RPF)

Christmas With Joe by @bullet-prooflove - You spend Christmas with Joe. (Joe Velaso x Reader, Law & Order: SVU)

FicMas List by @retrosabers

also you can check out these events and the incredible works they've spawned: @clexmas24, Supernatural Writers Community Prompt-Mas 2024, @the-slumberparty December Daze Challenge, @spnchristmasbingo

*I will add more as time goes on & I'm able to read more; if you would like anything added to the list/to rec, please reblog with the link or add in the comments and I'll add into the list 😊

dividers by @firefly-graphics

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️Reveling in Richonne - TOWL

#7: The Choice (1.01)

gif cred: @machonnes

Ok so apart from a certain dream that comes up later in the premiere, this is my favorite scene of episode one. Andy did a phenomenal job as always and this was when we got to see some signature Rick 'Ain’t Nothing to Play With' Grimes. Craig Tate also was incredible in this scene. And even after already hearing that one line in the trailer so much because I replayed it 1000x leading up to TOWL, hearing it during this premiere was even better...

So they set the tone of this scene right from the jump with dramatic music as Rick unleashes the weapon from his prosthetic fist. He quietly approaches a sleeping Okafor, putting the blade to his neck as he tells him to “Wake up.”

Okafor wakes up calmer than some people do from a morning alarm and just says, “You forgot to salute, soldier.” Rick isn’t here for games so he gets straight into it asking Okafor, “What the hell do you know about me?” And that’s all Okafor has to hear to know exactly what Rick’s talking about.

Okafor starts to quote Rick’s letter saying, “'I think of the dead all the time.'” And hearing him quote that I was like like now I know he didn’t violate Rick’s privacy and read his personal letters to Michonne. 😑 Okafor, sir...

They then show clips of Rick from the TWD series finale when he places a love letter to Michonne in a bottle and throws it in the river like the true loverboy he is. Okafor casually lists out more info he has stating, “Her name, back of the note, your message in a bottle from escape number three.”

Okafor says he found the bottle and also the phones saying, “That was her on the phones, right? Yeah, I looked through those too. The child though - that was your daughter, right?” And Rick has crazy eyes as he hears this.

Aside from the portraitist and maybe Jadis reluctantly, this is probably Rick's first time ever even talking this directly about Michonne and Judith with anyone in years and now he has to talk about his girls with someone who is willing to take them out if need be. 😞

gif cred: @vidco

Another thought I had while watching the TOWL premiere is that Judith appears to be an especially sensitive subject for Rick. I think why he might mention her less than Michonne in episode one is because for a parent to have to just not know if their kid is alive is too much to bear. And so I think Rick is a lot more hesitant to let thoughts about Judith's status even take up his mind because it’s too painful wondering if she’s not alive whereas he knows Michonne is likely alive.

Hearing Okafor say he knows all about Michonne and Judith has Rick ready to throw hands and so he yanks Okafor out of the bed and demands to know who else knows about his family. 

gif cred: @riickgrimes

I love Tate’s delivery as Okafor says, “'Michonne' is an unusual name. Not many people out there” (baby, she’s one-of-a-kind 💅🏽).

gif cred: @nerd4music

He continues, “But if you start the search around where we picked you up…that’s potent information.” To me, Okafor calling this 'potent information' implies that he always intended to hold onto what he knew about Rick's wife and daughter so that he could use it as a trump card if ever he needed to get Rick back under control like he's doing right now.

And again, I have to applaud Tate’s performance in this scene because the brand of menacing he chooses is super compelling. It’s understated but still so chillingly in control and he’s a great foil to Rick.

gif cred: @nerd4music

I love how Rick's relationship with and love for Michonne is driving the plot and the stakes in this scene. TWD didn't fully explore Negan picking up on the fact that Rick had a wife, but this exchange between Okafor and Rick in TOWL gave us some insight into exactly how Rick would be if someone learned about his true love and tried to use it against him. 

gif cred: @nerd4music

Rick takes a page from the Will Smith handbook when he slaps Okafor’s neck and pushes him to the ground to let him know he needs to keep his wife’s name out of his mouth. Rick is really ready to scrap knowing Okafor knows about Michonne. 🥊

gif cred: @nerd4music

Okafor keeps talking and Rick punches him in the face so Okafor lets Rick know, “They would have sent me to find you, clean up my mess, and finally erase you. You are my charge.” Even using a term as cold as 'erase you' shows that there’s a lack of humanness in how Okafor views things.

gif cred: @riickgrimes

And then Rick proves it's possible to look extremely hot and like a raging madman all at the same time, as he listens to this with a nod and crazed eyes.

gif cred: @richardgrimes

Okafor says, “I’m the one who’d have to kill you and Michonne and anyone else you ran to out there. Just knowing about this—" and y’all, that was Okafor’s death sentence right there.

Telling Rick Grimes you’d have to kill Michonne...oh that’s when I knew Okafor wasn’t gonna make it out of TOWL alive. No one threatens Michonne and lives.

And Rick puts some extra oomph when he kicks Okafor in the face for the mere suggestion. Like please, the golden rule is you don’t come for a Grimes in front of another Grimes and here Okafor got to learn the golden rule by threatening Michonne Grimes like that. 

gif cred: @andy-clutterbuck

Then it’s Rick's turn to weigh in, in that black jacket that really flatters him, when he tells Okafor he doesn’t care why he’s covered in blood and why the bombs go out and don’t come back. (Even tho low key he should care because little does he know those bombs nearly lost him his wife. 😣)

Okafor says Rick does care because he’s convinced any A would be eager to save the world. But Rick has always been a guy whose goal in life is not to be some superhero leader. He wants his world back most of all. And we know who his world consists of.

Rick says, “This isn’t my city. Those aren’t my people.” It’s interesting because in TWD Rick was a leader who treated his group like they were genuinely his people and family, but here with the CRM he's avoided establishing any allegiance to these people whatsoever.

Okafor says everyone in the world is his people, everyone alive, and Rick raises his voice to say, “This isn’t everything!”

I know Rick is fed up because he feels like he found his everything long ago, so to suggest that anything other than his family is more important will just never sit well with him.

He feels this mission and this city is not a paradise for everyone because for him the only heaven he has on earth will ever be Michonne and their kids. 

Rick continues, passionately saying, “You don’t get to choose for the world! You don’t get to choose for me.” I love the delivery of that. Rick already chose what and who is everything to him.

Okafor just casually says, “I don’t. You did. You made the choice.” And first of all, Rick didn’t choose to be here at all so really he’s just had to work with the cards he’s been dealt.

Second of all, he only made the choice to join the CRM because it was a way to get back to the people who are his actual choice --- and who are those people some might ask? Rick will tell you. 😊

Hearing Okafor say this, Rick is like lemme make something as clear as day to you as he says with all the conviction in the world,

“My wife is my choice.”

gif cred: @riickgrimes

And now y’all excuse me a minute because the happy dance spirit is going to take over my being every time I hear that line.

Ain’t that line the best thing ever. 🤩 I loved hearing Rick say this and say it so powerfully. It was a great first time hearing Rick refer to Michonne as his wife. And I adore that he says she’s his choice. 🥹

So much to gush over about this one line alone. Rick calling Michonne his wife was big on my TOWL wishlist and this was such a perfect way to hear him say it.

I love that while he was taken before they could marry on the bridge like he wanted, Rick still knows what he and Michonne had was a beautiful love between a husband and wife. Just like Michonne knew it too so she wore a wedding ring around her neck all these years.

When I see Rick say this line to Okafor I like to think about how somewhere on this same night Michonne was in bed alone and little did she know Rick was out here throwing high-ranking soldiers around to let them know that she is always and forever his ultimate choice. Their love is just something else, I adore it.

Also, this line made me think about another time someone Rick had a conflict with brought up Michonne. In s3, the Governor wanted to make a deal with Rick regarding Michonne - infamously asking if one woman is worth it.

gif cred: @chonesmint

And man has that one woman been more than worth it to the point that now when someone speaks on Michonne, Rick can look at them with all the intensity and certainty in the world and say that she is his wife and she is his choice.

And then Rick lets Okafor know Judith is very much included in this as he says, “My daughter. My life is my choice.” Now that’s an A. Saying I’ve made my choice and no one is taking that from me. 👏🏽

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Seeing Rick still be so connected to his wife and daughter, still choosing them above all else, warms my heart. It’s great. 🥹 All these years later he still fights so hard for these two. 🥲

And in declaring his wife and his daughter are his choice it's also Rick revealing to Okafor that they are the only reason he 'chose' to join the CRM and play along. He was never actually bought into any program like Okafor or the CRM might've thought.

Then, Andy just knocks it out of the park even more as he says, “You think I went what I went through, did what I did, to let anyone choose anything for me?” The emotion in those lines was so good and palpable. 👏🏽

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I just felt everything we’ve ever seen Rick go through all these years flash through his head as he lets Okafor know he’s been through way too much to let someone else start calling the shots on his life. That power is reserved for him and Michonne alone (who Rick happily chooses to let choose things for him 😇).

gif cred: @msanonships

Okafor firmly tells Rick he made the choice and then Rick wants to start throwing shade and calling Okafor out when he says that Okafor lives for the people in the city because he has nothing else but his duty.

Rick's basically saying 'look, you don't have a goddess at home like me so...

Rick calls Okafor a good soldier with nothing and Okafor doesn't take kindly to being read for filth so he hits Rick and tags him to the ground. Okafor gets the upper hand and yells about how he lost everything and how he was the one to bomb Atlanta, which was interesting to learn he was one of the people behind the Atlanta bombing in early TWD.

Okafor reveals he too had a wife named Estelle who was a marine and how she and he didn’t want to keep killing people for nothing. Okafor says he had power and he had a choice and the choice he made was to...kill his wife. 👀 That was a wild confession.

And Rick’s response says he too thinks this is a wild confession especially because he would never do that to Michonne, regardless of a greater good.

However, while Rick would never do that, he does eventually in a way try to kill the relationship with his wife for the sake of protecting Michonne going forward. 

gif cred: @riickgrimes

I like how Okafor has to sorta pause before saying “I killed my wife” and even his cadence is a bit different when he does speak on taking out his wife. It seems to be the one thing he still has at least a little bit of emotion over. Like he says it in a detached way but that pause beforehand lets you know somewhere deep inside the act of killing his wife and thousands of others still stirs him.

It just goes to show when you find a real love there will always be a part of you that feels something for them no matter how detached you become from things.

But then Okafor credits his wife’s choice as one that saved even more people and maybe even the whole world which is clearly how he justifies the act. He’s a mirror for Rick to see what he could become if he officially loses his love - becoming a man who just lives for some greater cause of saving the world even if it means being broken and shut down because you’ve lost the one woman who saves your world. 

Okafor says, “I tried with you, Rick. I tried.” And Rick quietly says “I’m sorry,” cuz even in a fight Rick can still have empathy. Okafor asks what he’s apologizing for and Rick slashes him trying to get the upper hand but Okafor punches him and pulls a gun on him. 

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Realizing he’s at a disadvantage, Rick says, “Just let me go” but Okafor says no because Rick is an asset to his plan.

I saw some debate on whether Okafor was ultimately a friend of Rick and I honestly think no. Rick was an asset to his plan and, in a way, Okafor seemed to feel like he owned Rick, even hanging the threat of killing his family over him to keep him on board. So while they may have got to a point of complicated comradery, I think first and foremost Okafor was just a different type of captor of Rick.

When Okafor denies his request to be let go, Rick then puts Okafor’s weapon to his head and begs him to end it. Which is super painful to see. 😢

It also is a very clear depiction of how he and Michonne cannot in fact lose each other and be fine because as Rick realizes in this gut-wrenching scene he now can’t go home to her - not because he wouldn't be willing to keep trying to escape but because he can put his girls in danger if he does - he really just wants to be done with life.

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Rick says, “Do it. Please” and he’s so clearly in despair and agony. 🥺 But Okafor says he won’t grant that death wish. He tells Rick, “They’re still with you. But you fight here now. You fight for them. You already made the choice.” And that part is true - his family is still with him, even tho I know Rick doesn't fully feel like it's true rn, having already lost the memory of Carl and been away from his wife and daughter for years.

It’s devastating seeing a light turn off with Rick in this moment as he realizes he can’t go home to his wife and daughter. You just see his mind and body succumb to defeat. And I found the CRM folk continuously telling Rick that he made the choice to be a cruel act of manipulation.

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So Rick just stands there with his head hung low as Okafor moves on from Rick's despair and just goes over the next steps regarding the Summit. And again you can see Rick becoming lifeless.

Okafor says this is the start of Rick’s path to the upper echelons of power and Rick tells him what’s always been true when he says, “I don’t want power.” He really never has.

Honestly, in s8 during the Savior War, it was clear Rick was ready to retire even back then. I’m reminded of Danai’s impactful and spot-on words when she described Rick as not needing leadership to be a man but rather being a good man burdened with leadership. It’s never been about titles and wielding authority for him. 

Even in Say Yes, there’s a reason he tells Michonne he wouldn’t want to be the leader of the next world. He doesn’t want power. Really what he most wants for his life is her and their family. 

gif cred: @ex0rin

But it’s fitting that Okafor responds saying, “That’s the thing. You already have it.”

While Rick, as he says several times in TWD, didn’t ask to be a leader, he is a natural one and so whether he wants it or not he does have power and he is someone who can make a difference. Basically, he’s just destined to be Him. Even tho right now he feels cursed to be that guy. 

And while Okafor says Rick has power, Rick is clearly feeling at his absolute lowest and most powerless in this moment, which will now lead to this episode's most heartbreaking scenes and a beautiful but painful last letter. 😔👌🏽

[naughtyneganjdm]

Naughty or Nice - Chapter 13

Summary: Negan and Y/N get ready to leave her family's farm, but when certain things are revealed it leaves an explosive amount of emotions for everyone.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC), Maggie, Glenn, Hershel, Beau, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51464518/chapters/134344273

Warnings: Swearing, severe angst, etc.

Notes: This is my second to last chapter. It's long. It's very angsty and I love you guys who put up with this the whole time and those who have taken the time to comment! I appreciate you all.

You can tell yourself that it’s going to be easy breaking up with someone, but it never is. Especially when it’s someone you consider to be an overall good person. A person where there is really no good reason for breaking up with them. Other than you just don’t love them and they aren’t for you. So many people would tell Y/N that she was crazy for giving up Glenn. He was sweet. He was caring. He was cute. But he just wasn’t someone she was in love with. Standing before his bedroom door this morning had her feeling awful about the decision she was about to make.

At first, she considered actually sitting down and talking with Glenn. That was probably the most kindhearted option and the best thing to do, but she couldn’t gather enough strength to wake him. Negan and Maggie had broken up the night before, agreeing that they didn’t belong together. Telling Glenn that to his face when Glenn was actually good really made things hard. Because of that she decided to write Glenn a letter. It was vague, but it just stressed that she found someone else that she realized she was in love with and it was an attempts at letting Glenn down easily instead of hurting him.

Thinking back on her relationship with Glenn, it was always pretty obvious that the only reason she continued on with the dating part was because she actually enjoyed his company. When Glenn showed up in Y/N’s life, she was always busy and deep into work. It didn’t really give her time to socialize or date.

There was no plans on having Glenn in her life. Hell, he was just a guy that delivered her pizza to her late one night that was nice to her. Both of them just enjoyed talking to each other. Glenn confessed that most people didn’t treat him like a human being and she lacked connection with people outside of her job. They hit it off in that sense. But what she really needed was a friend and Glenn provided that for her.

Asking Glenn on a date was more so a way of her trying to get him to spend more time with her instead of her having to order pizzas every time she wanted to talk to someone. What was nice about everything was being able to have someone to share moments with. To not feel like she was alone, but she never truly felt like she was in love with Glenn. They only had sex because Y/N felt like she had to after how long they had essentially dated. For her, she never felt connected to it. She loved Glenn in the friend way so it only felt awkward any time she had to get intimate with him.

When Glenn asked her to marry him, it was on a vacation they had taken together to France. They were in front of a bunch of strangers, miles away from home and they were going to be stuck together for days. The only reason she told him yes was to avoid hurting him and making things awkward. Sure, she wanted Glenn in her life, but not in the way that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him.

Quietly turning the doorknob, Y/N was hoping that Glenn was still sleeping. Thankfully when the door partially opened, she could see that he was deep in sleep. Stepping into the room, she gazed over Glenn and felt her chest ache. Hopefully by the time that he woke up she would be long gone. Setting the letter down on the corner of the dresser that was in his room, she took a look at Glenn and sighed. Grabbing a hold of the engagement ring that Glenn had given her, she tugged it down her finger and held it between her fingertips. It felt weird taking it off after this long, but she knew this was genuinely the best thing for both of them. Setting the ring down on top of the letter, she knew that he would be confused, but this had to be done.

Taking another look at Glenn sleeping reminded her of the past. Glenn was a good-looking guy, there was no question in that. Most women would be lucky to have someone like Glenn in their lives. That was why she always felt bad for wanting more. Glenn was enough. Just not in the terms of what she needed in her life. Sure, this wouldn’t be the last time she would see Glenn. This was just the easiest way of breaking up with him and making things easier for both of them. Knowing this wouldn’t be the last time seeing him made things easier. Although she assumed he may never want to see her again after all of this.

Backstepping toward the hallway, she wanted to make sure that she didn’t make any noise to draw him to wake up. Glenn was a pretty light sleeper so this made it hard enough as it was. Taking extra time to close the door, she realized she likely looked silly in how she was acting, but those extra steps to keep him asleep were necessary. Once the door clicked closed, she waited outside of it. Listening closely, she was thankful that she didn’t hear the sounds of Glenn moving around inside telling her that she successfully escaped. Standing still for a moment longer, she finally tip toed back toward the stairs that led to the attic.

Originally, Negan had talked about them revealing things to her family, but that was before he had broken up with Maggie. Truthfully? She was happy they changed their plan. Instead of sticking around, they were just going to leave before everyone woke up. It was the only way that made sense for her. She had written letters for everyone. Everyone except for Hershel. Everything that she had to say had been already said to her father. Once she was done with them, she put them on the counter and addressed each letter to the person it went to.

So it was very important to still move quietly throughout the house. Avoiding conflict and confrontation was key. After everything from the night before, she didn’t want to fight with anyone. And as strong as she was, she knew that she probably couldn’t tell Maggie to her face what she had done. This was good enough. It was easy for everyone and it avoided more fighting.

Closing the door that led to the attic, she moved slowly up the stairs. She was sluggish in her movements. Both from depression and her trying to be quiet. At the top stair she heard a squeak that made her wince. Damn this house for being as old as it was. Standing beside the bed was Negan attempting to prepare the shirt that he was about to put on. Hearing the stair squeak drew him to look over his shoulder at her, flashing her one of his charming smiles.

In his eyes Y/N could tell that he was still tired. They had talked most of the night. If anything, they might have gotten an hour of sleep together. It was nice having someone to talk to. With Glenn, Y/N never felt like she could truly connect with him. A lot of her feelings were deep and Glenn was always so positive. It took someone like Negan who could see both the positive and negative in life to help her hear what she really needed.

“Hey there beautiful,” Negan was cheerful in his delivery, turning slowly on his heel. “How’d everything go?”

“I’m a wimp,” she confessed, throwing her hands up when she realized everything she had done was to save herself from more stress and drama. Wiggling her fingers in the air had Negan smirking, but his eyes narrowed showing that he was confused. “My hand hurts. I wrote everyone a letter. I know that was the plan with my family and I thought about talking things out with Glenn, but I just couldn’t bring myself to actually do that. So I wrote him a letter too.”

Heading over to the corner of the room, she rest back against the wall to stare out at Negan who dropped his arm down and was holding his shirt at his side, “I couldn’t even have the decency to break up with him to his face. I just left the letter and the engagement ring on his dresser. I didn’t even go into details in the letter. I just told him I found someone else that I realized I was in love with. That he was a perfect guy and I still cared about him, but I just wasn’t in love with him.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Negan quipped, his eyebrow arching in curiosity. By the expression over her face, he could tell that she didn’t think it was a good way to break up with someone. Moving across the attic, Negan outstretched his arms to place his hands over her hips. Drawing her near him, he tipped down to press a loving kiss over her forehead and she sighed.

It was a loaded question. There were so many things wrong with how she decided to break up with Glenn, but she didn’t want to talk about them. Not right now.

Brushing her fingers through the dark curls of hair that covered Negan’s chest, she gave him a weak smile and looked down. Negan’s jeans were hanging low at his hips giving her plenty enough of a view to have her heartrate quicken. The v-line on Negan’s hips were incredible and she loved his body. A lot of people were attracted to the muscular type, but she was in awe of Negan’s slender physique, “Did I just miss you putting your pants on?”

“I did just change out of my pajamas,” Negan snickered, tapping his fingers against her chin. Leading her to tip her head back, Negan’s expression grew arrogant and she knew that he liked her being naughty with him. “What? Is seeing me shirtless not good enough for you.”

“Come on Negan. Play fair. You know that I love every part of you,” she frowned, sliding her hands down from his chest toward his slender abdomen. Negan’s eyes fluttered to a close when she reached the area just beneath his bellybutton where there was a softness to his flesh. Even the small smirk he gave when she dragged her fingertips further down had a fire growing inside of her. “I’m just suggesting that maybe seeing you changing out of your pajamas and into your pants would have helped me get through the day.”

“Is that so?” Negan’s right eyebrow arched, a growl falling from his throat. Stepping back, Negan unhooked his belt that he was wearing after tossing his shirt back on top of the bed. Dropping her gaze, her lips parted and her breathing grew louder. It was hard to really focus on what with Negan. His body or his incredibly attractive features? Because it was hard doing both. “If it’s the only thing that can help you make it through the day, then who the fuck am I to keep that from you?”

There was something sensual about the way that Negan dragged his fingers across his belt and over the button in his pants. Being sexy wasn’t something he had to try hard at, but he was doing his best to put on a show for her right now. Even the way he dragged down the zipper of his jeans had her heart skip a beat. Ever so slightly, he began to tug at the material of his jeans. Inch by inch he started to reveal his body to her, stopping when he reached the area to reveal the dark curls of hair that surrounded the base of his cock.

“Is this good enough for you?” Negan taunted her, very much aware of the fact that she wanted more.

“Now you’re just being a tease,” she alerted him with her throat growing dry at the sight of him.

“Oh? I’m a tease?” Negan dramatically repeated, turning on his heel and lower his pants just enough to reveal his small bottom her. His antics had her rolling her eyes, but his laughter was cute in itself. “Is this better?”

“I thought you wanted to be good to me,” she played back, sucking faintly at her bottom lip when he shot her a flirty glance over his shoulder.  

“Oh, it wasn’t my ass that you wanted to see?” Negan rambled, turning to face her again. Enthusiastically pushing at the material of his jeans and his boxer briefs had them pooling at his ankles. Throwing his hands up in the air in an arrogant fashion and giving her the biggest, cheesiest smile had her laughing. “Better?”

“You’re ridiculous,” she confessed, stepping forward to brace her hand in over the center of his chest. Tipping up on her toes, she brought their lips together having him hum against her flesh between their kisses.

“And you love me anyways,” Negan slurred, his tongue brushing out between her lips. Pulling her flush against him had her gasping out, her right arm hooking around his shoulders. Behind heavy eyelids, Negan stared down at her and shook his head. “I love you so fucking much.”

“And I love you,” she assured him, dragging her left hand down over the side of his face. Stroking her fingers through his short beard had him leaning into her touch and sighing. “You’re a sight I could never get sick of.”

“I do have a pretty nice dick,” Negan admitted causing her to roll her eyes and laugh. “Hey, you’re the one that came in asking to see it.”

“You do, I agree,” she whispered, drawing her finger across his bottom lip. With him pressing faint kisses at the pad of her thumb, she knew that she needed to be able to focus. “But I meant in general. Fully clothed, partially clothed, completely naked…I could never get sick of you.”

“That’s good,” Negan snickered looking down between them and she did the same. “Every part of me belongs to you.”

“So that?” she tipped her head down to stare at his semi erect body. “That’s mine?”

“All yours,” Negan snorted, burying his head against the side of her neck to press wet kisses over her flesh. “If you want, you can touch it a few times, but that’s probably it. We need to get out of here before everyone is up and about. Maybe later tonight after Santa delivers the presents under the Christmas tree, you can let him come down your chimney.”

“Oh wow. That sounds like quite the offer. I don’t know, is Santa going to be dressed up in his suit?” she lowered her hand down between them to curl her fingers around the root to his masculinity hearing him growl. Pressing his forehead to hers, Negan smirked and shrugged his shoulders. “Because I think I’d be more willing to let him come down my chimney if he was dressed appropriately.”

“If that’s something you’re interested in, we can make it happen,” he whispered, his eyebrows furrowing when he looked between them to watch her touching him in delicate strokes. “I just have to warn you it may be the skinniest version of Santa Claus you’ve ever seen. He’s been on a bit of a diet.”

“I can work with that,” she nibbled at his bottom lip having him faintly moan when she gave it a small tug. “It’s too bad we can’t get in a quick session before we go.”

“I kind of fucked myself over in this situation,” Negan informed her with a growl, grabbing a hold of her wrist to stop her from getting him completely rigid in her touch. Damning himself, Negan licked his lips and huffed. “I already have Beau and Erin up. They are packing their things. If I didn’t I would have had no problem doing that.”

“I guess we will just have to wait until tonight to get that visit from Santa,” she chuckled giving him one final kiss before stepping back and away from him. Huffing out, Negan looked down and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “You’re not wrong. We do need to get out of here before everyone wakes up.”

“Fuck,” he grumbled bending down to grab his boxer briefs and his jeans. Working them back up his body, Negan took some time to adjust his length in a way that would be comfortable enough for him to zip his jeans back up. “I didn’t think you would be ready to go for another round this morning. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have woken them up.”

“I’ll survive,” she assured him, patting him on the chest and then heading over to the bed. Snatching the shirt that he threw on top of it, she tossed it back to him and he caught it. “The buildup for tonight will make it that much better.”

“I feel like you have to flash me your ass or your tits to only make this fair,” Negan explained which made her laugh at the bluntness of it. “I just gave you everything here.”

“You’re almost fully erect Negan, is that really what you want?” she pointed down toward his groin hearing him huff him response. Stepping forward, Negan brought her in closer to him and hovered his lips in over hers. Gasping out, she felt Negan’s fingers caress up under her shirt to trace his rough fingertips over the lengths of her back. When he slid them back down, his fingers sank beneath the material of her pants to caress at her fleshy bottom. Purring against his lips, she felt her heart rate quicken and she shook her head. “You really do like torturing yourself, don’t you?”

“Probably,” Negan scoffed, giving her bottom another firm squeeze before pulling back and away. Pulling his shirt on had her laughing with the expression that he was making. “I promise to be a good boy from here on out.”

“You better,” she noted heading over toward the window that was in the attic to stare out at the land with the sun only just starting to come up. Thinking about everything she had already accomplished today made her let out a loud exhale. “You don’t think I’m a bad person for breaking things off the way I did with Glenn, do you?”

“You didn’t just take off with no explanation,” Negan reasoned with her going back to packing his things for them to leave. “I think what you did was appropriate enough. I told Maggie the same thing you did in your letter to Glenn. So what makes mine any different than yours?”

“You actually broke up with her to her face?” Y/N suggested, looking back over her shoulder at Negan to watch him gathering his things. “You’re stronger than me. I don’t think I could have dealt with Glenn’s reaction to him finding out I was in love with someone else.”

“Glenn will be fine honey,” Negan stood up from where he was and headed over to where she was standing. Cupping her face in his hands in a tender grasp, his eyes connected with her and he tried giving her the support she needed. “I know you are going through a whirlwind of emotions right now, but you have to trust me. Everything is going to be okay. I promise you that.”

“I’m sorry for being all over the place with my feelings right now. I just feel like a terrible person,” she frowned allowing Negan to pull her in closer to him. Placing her hands in over the center of his chest, she looked up at him with her saddened expression and he shook his head. “After everything that has happened, I don’t know.”

“You’re not a terrible person,” Negan hushed her dragging his thumb out over her bottom lip. “You just want to be happy for once and I really don’t think there is anything wrong with that Y/N. You deserve happiness just like everyone else does.”

“With what Hershel said last night,” she started, but Negan hushed her trying to keep her from letting her thoughts linger with her father.

“What he said doesn’t matter. Nothing he says matters because it’s a bunch of bullshit. He’s a liar,” Negan stressed lowering down enough to press a tiny kiss over her lips. “We’re going to get you away from here and then you are going to realize that everything is as it is meant to be. You will be happy, I promise.”

“How do you think people will handle us leaving together?” she inquired, her face flooding with contemplation. “I forgot to leave the keys with Glenn, but I will set them by the door when we finally do leave.”

“I don’t know. You pretty much told me that we were terrible at hiding things,” Negan replied, letting out a long sigh. An arrogant smirk tugged at his handsome features when he clasped her jaw between his thumb and his index finger. “Maybe the whole family knows at this point. I mean last night, when you first came in here, we weren’t quiet. I think we almost put a hole in the wall with what you were doing originally.”

“I was upset,” she reminded Negan who simply nodded. When she came in here, she just wanted to feel like the center of Negan’s world. Maybe she was too rough, but he handled it well in swaying her to what she really wanted. “I just wanted to feel something else other than the pain. My father tried to suggest that both you and Glenn liked Maggie more than you did me. I told you the things he said last night and they were just eating away at me.”

“I know what you were doing because I’ve been there,” Negan assured her capturing her lips in another kiss that lingered. “I just know that rough sex is not the way to fix a broken heart. You needed to be made love to and if people heard, well then…fuck them. We don’t have to deal with them again after this. What these people say to you just aren’t true and you deserve so much better.”

“Well, Maggie will probably have to get her things from your apartment and Glenn with mine since he does live with me,” she acknowledged realizing how awkward that was actually going to be when the time came.

“I can send Maggie her shit,” Negan suggested with a bounce of his eyebrows. After last night, Negan was not stressing about things as much as Y/N was. Things were done and cleared as far as he was concerned. If Maggie still wanted to be part of his life in some fashion. Alright. If she didn’t, that was okay too. He didn’t care what everyone else thought. “And with Glenn, I can go over if you need me to. Hell, you can just give him the apartment because you can move in with me. That’s the plan anyways.”

“I haven’t even seen your apartment yet,” she pointed out with a laugh knowing that they were just jumping right into things. “You really think it’s going to work out, don’t you?”

“I know it will,” Negan answered her giving her another quick kiss. Stepping back, he moved over toward his things again and made sure that they were packed away. “We should get going though. I have some ideas for what we can do when we get home. That way you can get settled in better.”

“All of my stuff is by the door ready to go,” she reminded him, heading over toward the bed to sit down on the edge of it. Bracing her hands back on the bed, she looked up at the decorations she did for Negan at the start of this trip and observed the room. “I’m taking everything in. This will be the last time I see this place.”

“Your room and this room is definitely something I will always have fond memories of,” Negan snickered, shooting her a glance back over his shoulder. “Oh man. And the barn. I’m serious about the two of us getting a farm together after we get married. Just so we can recreate that little session we had in the barn. Your father would shit his pants if he knew what we did in there.”

“Yes, he would,” she agreed with Negan, a smile tugging at her lips. “Good. He deserves to get angry over the shit he has pulled.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan slurred, standing up from the ground to pull his things over toward the stairs. Snapping his fingers, Negan headed back for the bed to grab his backpack that was sitting on it, letting out a frustrated sound when the things fell out of it. “Make sure that fucking thing is zipped up before you fucking grab it Negan.”

“Talking to yourself is a pretty solid thing,” she teased him, lowering down to help him pick up the odds and ends that had fallen out of his backpack. Reaching for the thing that had slid under the bed, she felt her heart skip a beat when she realized that it was a jewelry box. Kneeling back, she opened the box and let out a hesitant sound when she saw that it was an engagement ring inside. “Negan?”

“What?” Negan’s smile was big when he lifted his head, his eyebrows bouncing up in an arrogant motion until he realized what she was looking at. The color drained from his face when he attempted to grab it. “Hey…”

“Was this for Maggie?” Y/N inquired, her somewhat happy expression turning to confusion when she observed the ring closely.

“It’s complicated,” Negan went to reach for the box, but she pulled it back and away from him. A sense of panic flooded his veins when Y/N stood up from the ground and headed over toward the corner of the room with a chill flooding down her spine. “I can explain.”

“Go for it Negan because I know it’s not for me. You told me clearly the other day that we were going to get a ring when we went back to New York, so why don’t you explain this for me?” she couldn’t take her eyes off the ring feeling her heart hammering in her chest. Her limbs went numb and hot. It felt like the room was spinning around her. “You always stressed to me that things weren’t very serious with Maggie, Negan. So why the hell do you have an engagement ring in your backpack?”

“I bought it weeks ago,” Negan reasoned with her, stepping forward and placing his hands together in attempts to get her to look at him. “Maggie kept talking about wanting to get married. She wouldn’t stop talking about it. So I got confused…”

“You were going to ask Maggie to marry you on this trip?” she pushed for information watching Negan’s head tip from side to side. “You told me it wasn’t that serious Negan. You repeated multiple times that you two weren’t even living together so I had nothing to worry about. And you have an engagement ring for her?”

“Now hold on a minute,” Negan requested, his voice getting raspier when she snapped the box closed. Damn, he should have hid this fucking ring better. Both Beau and Y/N got upset by it, even knowing that there were no plans to actually give it to Maggie. “This was before anything happened with you. Okay? I bought the ring, I considered asking because I knew I hated being alone. Maggie was getting antsy and I don’t know. It was a buy that I regretted the moment that I did it. The box sat in my top drawer the whole time. When we were packing to come here, I was looking at it and Beau came into the room. I panicked and I shoved it into my bag. I didn’t really consider asking Maggie to marry me after the moment we spent together.”

“That’s bullshit Negan. You wouldn’t have been looking at it if you weren’t considering it,” she countered hearing a breath catch in Negan’s throat. “You threw all that shit on me when we first slept together about how we were meant to be together and you still brought an engagement ring just in case.”

“Y/N, come on,” Negan snickered finding himself uncomfortable that she was getting so upset with things. “What’s going on here? Yes, I bought her a ring before the two of us were together. Yes, I considered asking her to marry me here before we got together. But right now, we’re broken up and I’m ready to start my life with you. I want to be with you.”

“It means that you were in love with Maggie. Like genuinely, full-fledged in love with Maggie,” her words were coming out broken, tears burning at her eyes when she thought about everything that her father said the night before. “Hershel was right. Maggie was always the perfect one.”

“No. No she wasn’t,” Negan noticed that she was picking up on the insecurities of the things that her father had said. “I did it because I was afraid of being alone. Not because I thought Maggie was the love of my life Y/N. It’s because she was acting like she was going to run and I got worried.”

“Which means you were scared of losing her,” she repeated having Negan let out a confused sound. “God, I just confused you Negan. You were in love with Maggie and this ring says everything. You are going to realize the mistake you made. I took my sister away from a man that actually did love her. This is…”

“Hey!” Negan snapped his fingers to try to pull her thoughts back to him, his eyes narrowing when he tried to reason with her. “What does it matter Y/N? Why are you acting like this right now? You love me.”

“Of course I love you, but you were in love with my sister and I took the man that she was in love with. The man that was going to give her everything and…” she felt the guilt tearing away at her when Negan attempted to reach for her wrists. “God, I’m everything my father says I am.”

“No, no you’re not,” Negan tried to pull her to him, but she yanked away from him and he could see that she looked like she was about to be on the verge of a meltdown. “You are reading this all wrong Y/N. It doesn’t matter what I felt before I was with you. This ring, it was the same exact thing you did in your relationship with Glenn. You agreed to the things that Glenn wanted because you didn’t want to be alone. You wanted to feel close to someone, even though you knew that you didn’t love him. We’re the same. The two of us are exactly the same. If you take a moment to really think about it. You will see that.”

Anxiety and her fears were clouding her judgement. Negan could see that in her eyes and her expressions, “That night we first got together, I had no idea you were related to Maggie and I knew that I wanted to be with you. You are this close to having everything you’ve ever wanted and deserved. Don’t let your family ruin this for you.”

“I’m ruining the perfect life for my sister in order to be greedy. Sooner or later you are going to realize that Maggie is the one that you want to be with,” she insisted with a whimper going to step back, but Negan shook his head, his facial expression becoming stern. “I can’t do this Negan. I’m breaking Glenn’s heart, I’m ruining my sister’s future, I’m only confusing you right now because…”

“You’re not,” Negan pulled her in closer to him trying to grasp her face in his hands to get her to focus. “I know you are going through things right now and we will get over this because we love each other. The two of us are meant to be together Y/N. You have to understand that. You’re my soulmate and…”

“Your soulmate died Negan and you just got confused because I got tangled up in your web,” she reasoned with him feeling like she could drop at any point. It felt like her face was on fire. Everything ached the more she thought about all the details of everything she had missed. “I’m no good for anyone Negan. Getting with me is just going to make things toxic and…”

“You have been in this family way too long Y/N. You’re just upset because you are here,” Negan whispered, his head pressing forward to try to rest it against hers to have her relax. “When you are away from them, you are so strong and you don’t care about anyone’s shit. But your family has a way of getting under your skin and breaking you down. You’re not the bad guy Y/N. You never have been. You were the victim and they are gaslighting you right now. You have to fucking see that. Please don’t overthink this.”

“This is a hard thing to forget Negan,” she lifted the box and Negan took it, sliding it into his back pocket. “You loved Maggie enough to want to keep her with you. Even at the office, I was the first person to make the move. I knew you were dating someone and I didn’t care. I just found you so appealing and…”

“We cheated. So fucking what?” Negan scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air when she pulled away from him. “Yes, we cheated and we had incredible sex, but we also connected on another level that I haven’t done with someone in a very long time and I fucking know you feel it too. If I loved Maggie like you are saying that I do, I would have never let what happened between the two of us happen. So please just take a minute and realize…”

“I can’t,” she frowned, turning on her heel to head down the stairs and Negan was quickly stumbling after her. “Negan. I just think I should leave on my own, okay? I have to go.”

“No. No, you’re leaving with me, Beau and Erin,” Negan claimed with apprehension in his tone, his body locking up when he followed her down to the second level. “Please, think this through. If you weren’t heart broken because of your father right now…”

When they reached the bottom, Negan stumbled over his own feet and almost fell over. Grasping a hold of Y/N’s hands before she could take off, Negan had hopes that he could appeal to her to stop her from freaking out. Before he could say anything else, the sound of a door being pulled open was heard. Gazing back, Negan rolled his eyes and cussed out when he saw that it was Glenn standing in the doorway to his bedroom holding the letter that he had obviously read and Y/N’s engagement ring.

“Motherfucker,” Negan scowled, his face scrunching up in anger. “This is just my fucking luck. Come the fuck on.”

“Can we talk about this?” Glenn ignored Negan’s frustrations, moving into the hallway with Negan still holding onto Y/N’s hands. Tugging her hands from Negan, she shook her head and shoved her hands into her pockets to keep Negan from touching her. Red flooded into her face showing the discomfort she had with Glenn running out and interrupting them. “I think this is something we really need to talk about.”

“Now is not the time buddy,” Negan warned with a huff, finally getting Glenn to notice that he was there. Anger flooded into Glenn’s brown eyes with Negan telling him what to do. “We are going through something right now and…”

“I think I can decide when it’s the right time for me to talk to my fiancée,” Glenn exploded on Negan, his voice growing louder and it made Negan step back.

“Ex fiancée,” Negan stressed that word because in his mind? Y/N was his fiancée now after what they had experienced together on that loop of decorations the other night.

“Excuse me?” Glenn was visibly ready to fight until the sound of another door opening followed.

“What’s going on out here?” Maggie’s surprised eyes gazed upon the commotion that was happening outside of her room. Glenn looked like he could die on the spot, but also appeared to be enraged. When her eyes fell upon the ring that was between Glenn’s fingers, she let out a gasp. Clutching the door, Maggie turned white as a ghost. “What’s happening?”

“I’m leaving,” Y/N claimed, holding her keys up in the air letting them jangle. Heading for the stairs, she was eager to make a quick escape since this situation was only getting worse. This was not how she wanted to have Glenn learn about things. She was meant to be gone by now.

“Wait!” Negan snapped following her down, but he wasn’t the only one. Maggie and Glenn were on his tail which only irritated Negan more. Once she got downstairs, Y/N grabbed her things and she was quick to make it to the door. Heading toward the car, she threw her things in the trunk and they were all outside with her. “You are rushing this without thinking.”

“All I’ve had is time to think Negan,” she vented letting out an upset breath with Glenn and Maggie approaching them.  

“I still don’t understand what the hell is going on,” Maggie demanded some kind of an answer, throwing her hands up in the air trying to get everyone to pay attention to her in the moment. “Why the hell is Y/N leaving? What is going on? Someone needs to start giving me some answers.”

“She wrote me a letter breaking up with me and she gave me the ring back,” Glenn informed Maggie, fear in his voice when they stood in front of the car door not allowing Y/N to leave. At this moment Y/N was both annoyed and infuriated. This was embarrassing that it came to this. Glenn shifted on his feet, his shoulders shrugging when he spoke in a whisper. “Are you leaving because of us?”

“Glenn!” Maggie scolded Glenn in something close to a whisper.

“Because of you?” she repeated, looking between Maggie and Glenn. Both of them looked like they could die on the spot with her questioning Glenn’s response.

“What’s going on?” Hershel called out from the steps and Negan’s overwhelmed growl of frustration filled the air. With her father bringing the attention to him, it allowed them to see that not only was Hershel out there with them, but so was Shawn, Annette and Beth who had obviously all heard the commotion of their bickering. “Do you all know what time it is? You’re out here screaming at one another.”

“What the hell is going on right now?” Y/N let out an uncomfortable laugh noticing the guilty features over both Glenn and Maggie’s faces. Having Hershel ask that question too was also borderline amusing. Pointing between Glenn and Maggie had them turning their eyes back to her instead of her family. “You want to know why I’m leaving? I’m leaving because Hershel requested me be gone in the morning.”

“And we’re going with her!” Negan spoke up, his tone determined when Y/N spun on her heel to glare back at him. Waving his hand about, Negan wanted to make sure he made everyone aware of what their original plan was together. “Beau, Erin and I are going with Y/N. We’re all going back to the city. Back home.”

“No, you’re not!” Y/N bickered in frustration trying to pull away from Negan when he attempted to touch her arm again. “I’m going alone.”

“Give me a fucking break Y/N,” Negan begged of her, sadness behind his eyes that she was having a breakdown of this caliber. “You know this is what we planned. It’s what we’ve had planned all along. Don’t let your father ruin this for you. Your father asking you to leave only sped up this plan by two days.”  

“Daddy asked you to leave?” Maggie wondered looking back over her shoulder at Hershel who had his hands buried in his pockets from where he was standing on the porch. It was like Maggie was completely ignoring the things that Negan had said to Y/N. “Why?”

“He demanded me to leave. Told me he wants nothing to do with me and I plan on giving it to him,” Y/N answered and the sound of Annette getting upset from Y/N’s confession was heard. Refusing to look at the rest of her family, Y/N bit back on her emotions and gave a simple nod. Having her eyes locked on Maggie’s made sure that she had her full attention with Maggie. “You should feel so good though Maggie because he let me know that you are better than me in every way. Negan sees it. He sees it. Glenn sees it. Apparently, everyone knows that I’m trash and you’re better than me.”

“Why does that whole statement feel like you are angry with me?” Maggie was offended that it felt like Y/N was mad with her over the things that Hershel undoubtedly said the night before. “It’s not my fault that daddy is the way that he is with you. It never was,” Maggie asserted herself and there was fury in her green eyes when she spoke. “I told you last night that talking to him about your mother was going to end up with you in pain. It was going to ruin things. I asked you not to do it.”

“I tried listening to you,” Y/N reminded her of how she tried to leave with Maggie, but Hershel trapped her in the kitchen. Maggie was there, she knew that it took a while for Hershel to force Maggie away. “I didn’t get an answer anyways. I was just reminded again about how imperfect I was. How awful I am. I know it’s not your fault Maggie, you really are perfect. And I know that.”

“No she’s not,” Negan threw his hand up in the air drawing Maggie’s eyebrows to bounce up. “No one is fucking perfect and certainly not Maggie.”

“What the fuck Negan?” Maggie scowled at her ex-lover when Negan shot her a glare and his hands found his way to his hips.

“No one is perfect,” Annette tried making her way down the steps to get everyone to calm down. “I don’t know what happened, but we should probably head back inside and talk things out. Your father may have said something ridiculous last night, but this is my home too and I have a say in who stays and who goes.”

“I agree with her,” Negan blurt out, his hands pointing in the direction of Annette. “We are all emotional right now and I think we need to talk some things out. Rushing into decisions fueled on confusion and anger will only hurt people more.”

“Wait, I’m really having a hard time understanding…” Glenn pushed forward into the group still holding onto the letter and the ring that Y/N had left behind for him. “If you don’t know about Maggie and me, then why did you break off the engagement and want to leave without me?”

“Come again?” Y/N stammered, her lips parting when everyone in the group went silent. Turning toward Maggie, Y/N let out a hesitant laugh and looked to Glenn. “What do you mean about you and Maggie?”

“Listen,” Maggie held her hands up in a pleading motion to try to calm the situation. “There is an explanation here.”

“I’m all fucking ears Maggie,” Y/N chided, her hands curling up into fists at her sides when she felt her heart begin to hammer in her chest. “What explanation is that?”

“I was spending a lot of time with Glenn because there was always things going on. And we started really enjoying being around each other,” Maggie slowly spoke out, her hands gradually raising up to try to hint for Y/N to keep calm. “One thing led to another and we ended up…sleeping together.”

“Good lord,” Hershel scoffed from where he was standing on the porch, lowering down to bury his head into his hands when he listened to the drama that was going on in his family. Everyone made some kind of noise in response to what Maggie had said aloud.

“It was an accident and we didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did,” Maggie explained to her sister drawing a laugh from Negan’s lips when he looked to Glenn with a shocked expression. “We just realized that we had so much in common and I know that he’s your fiancé, but things just happened and we wish we could have changed it, but we can’t.”

“Glenn?” Negan repeated pointing toward Y/N’s fiancé letting out an amused breath. Cutting through the anger with his laughter had others looking to him confused. “Fucking hell Glenn, you were supposed to be the good one between the two of us.”

“I’m not a bad guy,” Glenn claimed, placing his hand in over the center of his chest. This was not a situation Glenn was comfortable in and he hated being the center of attention with all eyes on him. “I kept trying to tell Y/N yesterday about things, but I just…”

“Got interrupted,” Y/N finished looking to Maggie knowing that Glenn was on the verge of telling her something last night, but Maggie stopped him abruptly. “So it was just the one time? That’s what you are trying to tell me here? That’s it? Nothing more between you because you realized it was a mistake?”

There was a silence that followed causing Y/N to let out a stressed sound and shake her head, “That’s a no.”

“You obviously don’t like good sex,” Negan commented getting a frustrated expression from Glenn and Maggie threw her hand up in the air. “Come on Maggie, Glenn was a virgin when he got with Y/N. You really think I’m supposed to believe that he’s a good lay? That tells me you definitely fell for the personality because a sex god Glenn is not.”

“You told him I was a virgin?” Glenn seemed upset when he turned to look at Y/N with upset in his eyes. “That’s not something you should be telling someone Y/N.”

“I told her too,” Y/N stated looking to Maggie who seemed like she was about to drop from all of this happening. “I don’t know if she knew before you slept with her or after, but she knew that you were a virgin too.”

“That doesn’t make things better,” Glenn fought back, the color growing more vibrant in his face. “I told you I was a virgin because I didn’t want to make things bad for you. Telling everyone about it makes it seem like I’m horrible at sex.”

“It’s not always about the sex Negan,” Maggie looked to her ex-lover hearing Negan let out a laugh. Folding his arms in front of his chest, Negan was amused to hear this shit coming from Maggie. “Sometimes it’s about connecting with someone on a level that you may not understand, but it’s there. That’s what happened with us. We were just connecting and things happened. It doesn’t have to be good sex for it to happen more than once.”  

“Are you saying I’m not good at sex?” Glenn huffed, turning to look at Maggie. There was a silence between all of them and Negan gave a tip of his head. “I’m not bad at it. I thought you enjoyed it with all the times it happened.”

“All the times it happened?” Y/N chuckled repeating the words of Glenn which only worried Maggie more. Glenn seemed more upset that Maggie said he was bad at sex than he seemed upset over what was actually going on here right now.

“Don’t worry bud, with more practice you are bound to get better. Hopefully,” Negan mocked Glenn, reaching out to pat him on the shoulder firmly. Shoving Negan’s hand away had the two girls groaning out in disgust over the two men’s reaction. “I’m just trying to be positive here.”

“By mocking me?” Glenn went to bicker with Negan further and it only had Negan chuckling in amusement.

“Not everyone is good at sex Glenn, some people have it,” Negan started, pointing toward his chest before pointing back to Glenn, “Some people don’t. That doesn’t mean people aren’t going to want to be with you.”

“I can’t believe this was going on under my roof,” Hershel seemed overwhelmed while he rubbed at his face. A loud sigh followed when Annette moved in beside Y/N to get her to try to calm down. Moving closer to the group of them, it was obvious Glenn looked like he was about to pounce on Negan for embarrassing him. Y/N looked like she was going to freak out and Maggie appeared to feel like she just wanted to disappear from the moment. Stepping in beside Glenn had Y/N’s eyes raising up to Hershel. “You see what you caused by coming back here?”

A loud exhale escaped Y/N’s lungs with how that seemed directed at her, “What I caused?” Y/N snapped back at Hershel, a rage flooding through her veins. Pushing through the crowd and toward her father had Annette trying to reach out to her. “Maggie fucks my fiancé under your roof and I’m the problem? I caused this?”

“I told you,” Hershel advanced toward her, shaking his head when he looked to Maggie and Glenn, “you would have known last night if you would have just listened. Anyone with eyes could see the boy was smitten with Maggie. When it comes to you and your sister, people are always going to pick your sister.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Negan called out from where he was standing, attempting to move forward, but Y/N placed her hand in over the center of his chest to get him to stop before he could get in Hershel’s face.

“This is the second time that Maggie has done this to me,” Y/N reminded her father, her tone getting even more upset hearing her father defending what happened with Maggie and Glenn. “First, she did it with Shane and that fucking destroyed me. I was just a teenager dad. And then she does this with my fiancé and it’s my fault? How did I cause this?”

“Maybe if you spent more time on him and less on worrying about me, it might have not actually happened,” Hershel grumbled under his breath and he knew what it was going to do to Y/N with tears burning at her eyes. “You were so damn busy focusing on hating me that you allowed the two of them to spend time together. Can you blame the boy for falling in love with your sister?”

“I don’t know if you genuinely believe you’re a decent fucking person, but you’re a vile piece of shit,” Negan spat trying to get around Y/N, but she did her best to keep the two of them separated. “Who the hell says this kind of shit to their own child? No wonder she feels so shitty about herself with the way that you talk to her. You deserve to be knocked on your ass old man.”

“Negan, please…” Y/N begged doing her best to keep Negan from getting himself in trouble. “I can handle this myself.”

It took Y/N touching his face to pull his attention away from Hershel. Behind his angry hazel eyes, Negan obeyed when she asked him to stop. Even though he wanted to rip this fucker limb from limb, he allowed her to take control of the conversation.

“I don’t even love Glenn, but to hear that coming from your mouth is so fucked up,” Y/N declared, her voice breaking from all the yelling and upset that was going on between them. “You have no idea what you do to my self-esteem Hershel.”

“You didn’t love me?” Glenn spoke in a whisper instead of Hershel responding to Y/N. It wasn’t the person that she wanted to talk to, but it pulled her to look away from her father toward Glenn. Lowering the letter and the ring down at his sides, Glenn visibly looked upset to hear that.

“Why are you acting upset? You didn’t seem to care when the two of us were together? Yet all of a sudden last night you have a change of heart?” Maggie pushed finding herself fed up with the way that Glenn was responding to things. “You told me that you loved me.”

“I love how this was sold as a mistake and now the two of you love each other,” Y/N shook her head with disappointment behind her voice. “Is it real this time Maggie or was it your attempt to actually upset me again for something I’m sure I’ve done to scorn you?”

“I didn’t want to hurt you Y/N,” Maggie suggested throwing her hands up in the air. It was horrible that her whole family was hearing all of this. “What happened with Shane was me being an awful person. I did terrible things back then and I know that. I want us to be close again Y/N. I wanted things to go right. Having this happen with Glenn was the last thing I wanted.”

“Now Maggie has two men fighting over her and then there is you,” Hershel waved his hand in the air pointing over toward the car. “Weren’t you leaving?”

“Okay old man fucking river,” Negan couldn’t hold it in any longer stepping forward, urging Y/N behind him in a protective stance. “I have had it up to here with your fucking nonsense with the way that you treat Y/N. If you weren’t so fucking old, I would knock you on your ass and I’m still considering doing it. I don’t know what the hell is wrong inside of you that makes you want to treat one of your children, one of your own flesh in blood like you do, but you are one sick son of a bitch. And I’m not fighting anyone for Maggie because Maggie and I broke up last night. Reason being, she told me she cheated on me and I told her I was doing the same. And you know what? I’m head over fucking heels in love with your daughter and it’s not Maggie. It’s Y/N and I’ve had it up to fucking here with the way you treat her.”

Again, every person in the crowd made a sound that was either shocked or upset, but Negan didn’t give a shit what they thought.

“Hello Jerry Springer,” Shawn whispered heading over toward the swing that was on the porch to take a seat on it knowing that this was only going to go south from here on out.

“I really don’t care what you fucking think of it either. Y/N is perfect in every way fucking possible and because of you she can’t fucking see it,” Negan was already so upset that Y/N was so prepared to leave since Hershel left her with some terrible thoughts last night. “All I want to do is be with her and she’s so goddamn focused on the horrible shit that you say to her.”

Everyone still seemed so shocked about the truth that he dropped, but Negan just felt his anger building up further inside of him, “Since you’re so big on fucking rules Hersh, I fucked your daughter in your house so many fucking times. We did it in the barn. We did it in her bedroom. We did it in the attic. Both your daughters have called me daddy Hersh. And you know what? I’m a better daddy to both of them than you ever will be. At least I made them feel fucking good. You on the other hand are a miserable piece of shit.”

A gasp fell from Maggie’s throat when Hershel’s face grew red, his breathing growing stronger. There was silence and it was broken up by Beth letting out an amused chuckle, “Holy shit.”

“You’ve been sleeping with Negan?” Maggie called out from behind them getting Y/N’s attention. Hershel had stepped back and away into the house when Maggie approached the two of them. Looking to Negan, Maggie pointed over toward Y/N noticing the way that Negan nodded. Maggie lifted her hand like she was going to speak before turning to quickly bring her knee into Negan’s groin. A groan filtered through the air when Negan fell forward into the snow, his hands clasping onto himself. “That’s really low Y/N.”

“Maggie!” Annette chastised her stepdaughter for what she did to Negan who was down on the ground in pain.

“What I did is low?” Y/N lowered down in attempts to check on Negan with his face buried in the snow. His face was red and the vein at the side of his neck was bulging after how hard Maggie kneed him. “You have got to be fucking kidding me. You slept with my fiancé. I slept with Negan the night before we came here. I didn’t even know he was your boyfriend when the two of us slept together the first time.”

“Bullshit Y/N! This is because of what I did with Shane. You slept with Negan to get back at me for the stuff with Shane,” Maggie insisted which in follow had Y/N rolling her eyes. “You know that I’m right. You always held that Shane shit over my head, so when you had the chance to get your nails into my boyfriend…”

“You have no fucking right to be saying this when you were sleeping with my fiancé,” Y/N corrected Maggie on the way that she was acting, amusement flooding her veins at the thought. “I knew you would pull the Shane thing over me. I should have seen this coming a mile away. I actually did. I told Negan I had to break it off with him originally because I knew it was the way that you would react.”

“Because it’s fucking true,” Maggie bickered with her younger sister while Negan continued to lay between the two of them after Y/N slowly got up to stare down her sister. “There is no other reason for it.”

“I had no idea that Negan was your boyfriend. We were alone at the Christmas party for our work. We got to talking and then we got intimate with one another,” Y/N thought back on what happened with her and Negan. Lifting his hand up, Negan reached for Y/N’s hand and she helped him back up to his feet. Negan’s hand was cupped firmly over his groin holding himself and Maggie scoffed. “I didn’t know he was your boyfriend Maggie because you refused to be in my life over something that Hershel did when we were kids. If you actually tried to stay in contact with me, then this would have never happened. I was just so in love with Negan that I couldn’t stop what we started before we knew you two were together. I’ve never felt for anyone the way that I feel for Negan. I love Negan very much.”

“And so did I,” Maggie suggested making Y/N roll her eyes. “I did.”

“You only liked being with Negan because you thought he was a good fuck and because he had a big dick,” Y/N reminded her of the things that Maggie bragged about when they were alone together about Negan. “You didn’t care about Beau, Erin or the things that made Negan tick. You just cared about whether you got off or not.”

“I am so uncomfortable right now,” Glenn whispered under his breath after what Y/N just blurt out in front of everyone.

“Good for you,” Shawn waved his hand about in the air and Annette hushed him. “Hey, if he’s got it you gotta give the man credit.”

“Shut up Shawn,” Maggie demanded of her stepbrother and he threw his hands up in the air. “It was more than that.”

“Was it though?” Negan could barely get a line out without wincing, but he shook his head. “Our relationship wasn’t that deep Maggie. You and I both know that.”

A loud booming sound went off that drew all of them to jump and they looked back to see that Hershel was standing on the porch with his shotgun in his hand, “Listen here. I’ve heard enough of all of this. You’re going to gather your things and you are going to get the hell out of here.”

“Holy shit,” Negan laughed when he realized that it was him that Hershel was pointing the shotgun at. An amused rumble fell deep from within his throat when he shook his head. “What are you gonna do Hershel? Fucking shoot me?”

“If you want your kids to still have a father, you are going to gather them and you are going to get off my property,” Hershel asserted himself, stepping down from the porch. It didn’t scare Negan that Hershel had his gun on him, instead Negan actually laughed. “I’m warning you son.”

“You’re not gonna…” Negan cussed out, stumbling backwards in the snow after Hershel shot at Negan’s feet, but ended up just missing him. “You crazy old son of a bitch.”

“Hershel!” Annette called out to her husband trying to draw him to knock it off. “What in God’s name are you thinking?”

“Daddy!” Maggie gasped attempting to try to help Negan up to get away from Hershel.

“Why the hell are you shooting at only me and not him?” Negan demanded to know, scrambling back in the snow again realizing how close he was to getting shot. “Both him and I did the same exact thing, yet I’m the one that is getting shot at?”

“Hey,” Glenn stepped back with Negan pointing back at him. “I don’t need to be getting shot at for this.”

“That would be a hate crime Negan,” Beth suggested drawing everyone to look back at her. Having all eyes on her felt uncomfortable, but they were all floored with her answer. Shrugging her shoulders, she pointed toward Glenn and shook her head. “I mean, it would be.”

“What is going on?” Beau’s voice called out from where he was standing at the door after hearing the gun go off. A sense of worry flooded his veins when he saw that Hershel pointed the shotgun back at Negan again. “Erin is upstairs! What in the world are you doing Mr. Greene?”

“You get up there and you grab your things! Leave!” Hershel demanded only to feel Y/N reaching for the gun. Fighting with her father, she finally got it from his hands and heard Hershel releasing a frustrated growl.

“Hey! Hey!” Beau moved forward on the steps, holding his hands out. “How could all of you be doing this when Y/N is pregnant? The stress and getting physical with her won’t be good for the baby! You need to stop this right now!”

“The baby?” Maggie repeated with a sense of shock and even Y/N’s eyes got big. “You’re pregnant?” 

“I’m pregnant?” Y/N questioned looking to Negan with a confused expression and Negan half laughed.

“He took the whole trying for a baby thing very seriously,” Negan answered Y/N when Shawn came over to reach for the gun in hopes of taking it away. When Shawn disappeared back into the house to put the shotgun away it made Maggie let out another upset sound.

“You two are trying for a baby?” Maggie couldn’t help but be upset hearing all of that. “Please tell me that you are joking. We broke up last night!”

“Come on Maggie, we’ve been on the offs for a long time,” Negan reasoned with her knowing that it all sounded bad, but it was just how things were. “Yes, we want to have a baby together. Yes, we are trying for a baby and we are engaged. We are going to get married on New Years.”

“How are you engaged when we were engaged?” Glenn still seemed so confused by everything watching Y/N lower her head into her hand. “I don’t understand how the two of you are planning this future together when you were engaged to me.”

“Because she didn’t love you,” Negan answered for her, finally getting up and wiping his hands off on his pants. “And I really don’t think you have a right to be offended there Glenn. You and Maggie cheated as well. Acting so surprised isn’t a good look for you.”

“I can see why Hershel shot at you,” Glenn hissed, stepping forward in the snow to push into Negan’s chest.

“Enough!” Y/N screamed out, finally tipping her head back and letting out an overwhelmed sound. With so much bickering, she couldn’t help but think this was genuinely all her fault for causing all of this drama. “You all need to just stop this shit. You want to know why Negan is the one being shot at?” Y/N turned to her father feeling her heart hammering inside of her chest. “You might think it’s because Negan is disrespectful. No. That’s not it. And it can’t be because he slept with both of Hershel’s daughters. Hell, Glenn did the same thing. Glenn even had sex with Maggie under the same roof which Hershel acted like that was sacrilegious to do. The thing is the reason that Hershel shot at Negan is because Negan cheated on his sweet, sweet Maggie. It has nothing to do with the fact that Negan and I got intimate all over the place. It’s not because Negan says it like it is. It’s because Negan fell in love with me and he dumped Maggie.”

A silence fell over all of them when she called Hershel out for his behavior. And when they thought about it, it did actually make sense what she was saying, “Come on Hershel. Tell me that I’m wrong. When you found out that Glenn slept with Maggie, you told me that it was my own fault. That I deserved it. You didn’t get upset with him for cheating on your middle child. You shot at Negan because he cheated on your favorite.”

“Wow,” Glenn muttered, his words coming out quietly when he actually thought about what Y/N was saying. “Mr. Greene, I did do the same thing that Negan did. It may even be worse what I did because I was engaged to Y/N.”

“Are you asking me to pull the shotgun out on you son?” Hershel questioned, his gaze locking with Glenn who shifted on his feet uneasily. “Then don’t speak up.”

“Yeah, how dare Glenn make a good point. How dare he have the common sense to add two and two together,” Y/N went off on her father feeling her body shaking with how upset she was. Hershel’s face was red and he was saying nothing. “Glenn was engaged to me and he found love with Maggie. Which hey, good for them. I’m glad for them. I find love with Maggie’s boyfriend, not knowing that he was Maggie’s boyfriend and suddenly we are the ones that are wrong? This only confirms everything I’ve said with the way that you are with me.”

No one said a thing and Y/N sighed loudly knowing that her father would never admit to the things that he did that were in a negative light toward her.

“Daddy,” Maggie finally spoke up, folding her arms out in front of her chest. “She’s not wrong. It doesn’t look good. Negan has two children here and you did that. We broke up last night and we were just going to keep it between the two of us until after Christmas because I knew that you wouldn’t handle it well. You do have a clear bias when it comes to me.”

Hershel scoffed and Maggie sighed, “I am in the wrong daddy. Glenn was Y/N’s fiancé and I knew that. I knew what I had done in the past with Shane and how much it hurt her, but I still let it happen. If you’re mad at Negan and Y/N, you should be just as upset with me and Glenn too.”

“What’s really sad is that I’m head over heels in love with that man,” Y/N declared, her words coming out shaken when she pointed to Negan. “When I’m with Negan and his family it is the only time I’ve ever felt seen and loved in my life. And I love his children too. Beau, he’s the most incredible boy I’ve ever met and he has the biggest heart.”

“Then let’s leave,” Beau spoke up, moving down the stairs toward Y/N seeing that she was getting emotional. “We can all leave together. We don’t have to be here. Let’s just go.”

“Beau, your father loved Maggie before I got involved with him,” she insisted feeling Negan moving in behind her to try to touch her and she shook her head. “More than anything, I want to be with you and your family Negan. I do. But I know better. I have to leave.”

“Please don’t do this,” Negan begged, his expressive eyebrows furrowing when he tried following her toward the car that she had already packed to leave. “You’re emotional right now and you just don’t know what you are doing.”

“I know what I’m doing Negan,” she frowned, shaking her head and letting out a long sigh. “I’m doing what’s right.”

“Please,” Beau reached for her this time instead of Negan, his young features visibly upset with what was going on. “Just wait for me and Erin to get our things out here. Then we can leave. You don’t have to run away. We aren’t like your family.”

“Beau,” she whispered, stepping forward to brush her fingers throughout Negan’s son’s hair. “You were the best part about this whole trip. I’ve loved every minute that I’ve gotten to spend with you because you are awesome. I’ve never met someone so talented and capable of so much at such a young age. You have the biggest heart and you stand up for what is right. Your mother and your father raised you to be such an incredible boy and I know things are going to be good for you in the future because you are amazing Beau. You really are. But my father isn’t wrong.”

Stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around Beau and gave him a big hug, squeezing him tightly in her arms, “I ruin everything. If I was in your life, I would somehow end up destroying your life like I have everyone’s here. In a perfect life, I could be part of your family, but I’m far from perfect,” she stepped back and away, tears still burning at her eyes when she reached for the door to her car. “Thank you for being the best part of these days for me.”

“Hey,” Negan attempted to reach out to her seeing that she still got in the car and wasted no time in pulling away. Beau stood beside him upset, not sure how to react and Negan’s hands found their way to his hips where they rested. Silence surrounded them and right now all Negan felt was anger. Anger toward these people that they all had a hand in breaking apart one of the most amazing women he had ever known. Finally moving, he stepped before Hershel and there was still anger in Hershel’s eyes from everything that went down. “I hope you’re proud of yourself.”

There was no response. That was a shock.

“Go get your things and grab your sister,” Negan instructed looking back at Beau with a frown. “We’re leaving.”

----

Digging through the drawers in her office at work, Y/N continued to grab a few more things that were personal items. After packing them into the boxes that she brought with her, she leaned back in her chair and took a look at her office. Once she made it back to New York City, she tried going home to her apartment, but her mind was still going crazy. Lingering thoughts built up inside of her and it led her to come to work. Most people weren’t here because it was Christmas Eve. There were still a few people that came in to finish some things, but she was thankful that she would be left alone for the most part. Right now, what she needed to be was left alone.

If you would have told her when she was younger that she would have been one of the top people at an advertising agency in New York City, she would have never believed it. This right here was everything that she dreamt of growing up. When she was younger, New York City was the one place that her and Maggie used to always talk about. It was the one place she longed for the most because it meant she finally made it. It meant that her art wasn’t a waste of time and everything she did to get here was worth it.

Even her office was a dream come true for anyone. It the corner office is one of the taller buildings in New York City. Two walls of her office were large windows that gave a stunning view of the city and it was part of what she loved about her job here. The views were stunning and always inspiring.

When Y/N left home and finished college, she just went to the nearest city and worked her way up. So when she got a call from a rival agency in New York City it almost didn’t seem true. Convincing Glenn to go with her at the time was hard. Their original home was near his family, but he wanted to be with her. If Glenn hadn’t found love with Maggie, it might have made her feel guilty that she ended up dumping him, but it seemed like she helped him find something more anyways.

Outstretching her hand, Y/N grabbed a photo that was on her desk of their group at the company. When she got to the company, everyone was very welcoming to her. Back then, the people that were on Negan’s team were originally uneasy with her because they thought Negan would be the one in charge. It reminded her of how she treated Negan at first, always giving him a hard time. It was hard being a woman in charge considering most men never liked it. Even though Negan was always good with her, when she thought back on things, she realized that she definitely could have been better with Negan herself. It was surprising that Negan fell so hard for her because she knew that she could have been better to him from the start.

Before all of this, she knew that this was the job that Negan wanted more than anything. And at the moment? That ate away at her. She stole this job out from under Negan. For years Negan worked at this company and helped build it up to what it was today. Yet, given the chance to jumped right into this position and took it from him. There were no questions that this job really should have gone to Negan. Those in charge just wanted to prove something when they were able to steal her away from their rival company.  

“You need help with anything?” a voice beckoned her from her thoughts drawing her to look to the door to see Simon standing there. “I’m going to head out and go be with the family, but I wanted to make sure that you were good before I left.”

“I’m fine Simon. Go be with your family,” she waved her hand in the air dismissively. It was obvious that Simon was curious as to why she was in her office packing things up, but he never questioned it. He just let do her thing and she appreciate that he left her alone.

“Are you sure?” Simon offered up a final time pointing back toward the rest of the open office area. “I can grab you a coffee or a dessert or something? I brought in a yule log that my wife made. It’s really good.”

“I think I’m good Simon, thank you though,” she appreciated that he was trying with her, but she almost assumed that he wanted her to unload on him and right now she wasn’t even sure what she was doing for the most part. “I want you to have a good holiday with your family.”

“Yes boss,” Simon gave a wink and tapped his hand against the doorframe before stepping back. For a moment he lingered and it looked like wanted to say something, but instead he pulled his jacket on and left.

It was weird having Simon being so nice to her since he was one of the people that hated her at first. And she didn’t blame him. His team was originally destined to take over at this part of the company, but then he had to remain where he was.

Getting up from her chair, she headed over toward the corner of her office so she could look out at the city. There were so many things running through her mind and she wished that things would be easier than they were.

The sound of her office door closing was heard and she sighed to herself, “I appreciate what you are trying to do Simon, but I really wish you would just go home to your family.”

“While I would love to go home to my family, I was hoping that you would be willing to talk,” that familiar raspy voice responded causing her heart to sink, a sharp exhale falling from her lungs. Lowering her head, she immediately knew who it was and she let out an uneasy sound. Footsteps approaching her made her cuss to herself when a warmth pressed in behind her. “What are you doing Y/N?”

“I’m packing up my things,” she responded, closing her eyes and wishing that he wouldn’t have come here and found her. “This job should have gone to you Negan. It was always yours and I stole it from you. I’m going to quit and suggest that they give you this job. You’re the one that should have had this whole time anyways. Everyone here respects you and knows that it should have gone to you.”

“Did you already quit?” Negan wondered, stepping in behind her when she finally turned to face him. It was obvious that she had been crying most of the day and she likely looked like shit. “Did you?”

“Not yet. I was going to wait until after Christmas. I was just packing things up to make it easier,” she explained looking to the boxes that were on her desk. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for you,” Negan stammered, his long eyelashes fluttering before he moved over toward her desk. Opening up the boxes, Negan frowned and grabbed a few items from them. Watching him start to unpack the boxes had her letting out a frustrated breath. Negan was putting everything back where it was before and it upset her. “You’re not quitting this job Y/N. I won’t let you do that.”

“I appreciate what you are doing here Negan, but you know just as well as I do that this job should have gone to you,” she didn’t know whether to stop him or not while he continued to return her things to where they were previously. “You know that you are better in this position anyways. The people respect you, you do better work…”

“No,” Negan shook his head, ignoring what she was saying because he thought it was bullshit anyways. “You see, I like the position that I have. I like my boss and I think I’ve been the most productive I’ve been in a very long time because you and me? We make a good team. So no, you aren’t quitting because you belong here. You have always belonged here.”

“Please stop,” she begged of him when Negan finished up with the items and stacked the empty boxes to place them near the door. She wasn’t fighting him. Her body was just frozen when he stepped before her, his hazel eyes full of emotion while he looked her over. “You know just as much as I do how much you wanted this job.”

“Yeah, I wanted this job,” Negan agreed with her sucking at his bottom lip and shrugging his shoulders. “But you got this job and I realized how much I genuinely liked working with you. Trust me. We’re better together than we would be apart. I’m comfortable where I am at this place. And I don’t want it to change. This company is the best it has been in years because of us being a team and working together.”

“Negan,” she lowered her head when Negan stepped forward, his hand lifting so he could stroke his fingers in over the side of her face.

“I’m doing what you deserve,” she protested and she genuinely believed it. “I’m just going to move back to the old city that I was in and see if…”

“If you quit, I quit,” Negan vowed drawing a scoff to fall from her lips. “I don’t want to be here if you aren’t here. So if you’re thinking of leaving this place, then they are going to lose me too because I don’t want to be somewhere you aren’t.”

“Negan,” she frowned hating to hear him say that, but when she lifted her eyes, she knew that he was being serious. Here she was trying to make things better for him and give him what he wanted originally and he was giving her shit. “You’re being stubborn.”

“I am fucking stubborn,” Negan threw his hands up in the air and shrugged his shoulders. “We know that. We’ve know that for a long time now. But I don’t want to be somewhere you aren’t. So unless you want me to leave this place to…”

“You love this job,” she reminded him, a shuddering breath falling from her throat when cupped her face in his hands. “You really love this job.”

“I love you more,” Negan countered, his eyes falling up on her lips when he gave a simple shrug. “I don’t want to be here if you’re not going to be the person in charge because I’ve grown to enjoy where I am in the company. I don’t want it to change. I know the two of us make a good team. Like I said, we’re better together than we are apart.”

“We won’t be able to work together after everything,” she suggested hating that the warmth of his hands comforted her while he stroked over her face in attempts to calm her. “I don’t even know how you knew that I was here…”

“I have my ways,” Negan responded with a long sigh when she turned away from him and headed over toward the window to look out at the city.

“In other words, it was Simon,” she thought aloud knowing that he was the only person that could have told Negan that she was here.

“You know,” Negan began, his voice sounding sad when she gazed out at the city. “I wish you wouldn’t have run off like you did.”

“It was better for everyone that I did,” she claimed still feeling incredibly emotional about everything that happened back at the farm. “I was just going to make things worse and it was going to cause more fighting. It was better that I left.”

“Me and the kids left immediately after too,” Negan informed her stepping forward to caress in over her shoulders. Even though he knew she was upset and she was confused about how she felt with things, he wanted to show her that he was still supportive of her. “I don’t think you realize how much me and the kids do actually love you.”

“I hear you,” she whispered, shaking her head when the warmth of Negan’s body pressed in closer to hers. It was never a question of if they loved her or not. She knew that they loved her. They showed it in their actions and their words. It was just the truth that she knew about herself that kept her from them. “The problem is exactly what I said though Negan. I have so much baggage and I’m a mess…”

“As do I,” Negan reminded her, tipping down to nuzzle his nose in against the side of her neck. God, she hated that her body loved him as much as it did. Even the smallest things he did had chills filling her veins. “I’m a fucking asshole who pisses everyone off. I have loads of baggage that comes with being with me so it shouldn’t bother you. Your baggage is something I’m very willing to take on and help carry with you. Because I love you.”

There was so much that she wanted to say, but she just couldn’t. Instead she stayed in front of the window with Negan wrapping his arms around her to hold her tightly in his grasps, “I fucking love you so much. I understand that you are a broken. I’m broken too, but for the first time in a very long time I feel whole again. And it’s when I’m with you.”

Urging her to turn in his arms, Negan brushed her hair back behind her ear and shook his head, “I know why you feel the way you do and I understand everything being overwhelming. Your family is overwhelming and they have trained you to always blame yourself. To always feel bad about who you are, but I like who you are. I love you. I love everything about you. Waking up with you in my arms over the last few days has been the best possible thing I could think of because it’s the one time that I truly feel alive. Where my heart finally feels like it’s beating again. I always felt cold to everything, but with you, I feel that warmth again.”

Having Negan confess his love to her in this situation had her crying. After everything that happened, he was still doing his best to try to convince her of his love.  

“You are beautiful. You are sweet. And you hold my heart in your hand. Everything I am is yours,” Negan peppered kisses over her face with every word he spoke drawing her body to shake. “I meant what I said when I told you that if I couldn’t be with you, it would fucking destroy me.”

“I know that’s what you think Negan, but being with me would be worse for you than being apart from me,” she tried to suggest and the expression that he gave her showed that he felt otherwise. “I’m serious Negan. It might hurt right now, but if you were with me, you would feel more pain in the long run.”

“You have a very skewed view about the woman I love,” Negan stated with a firm shake of his head, his thumb and index finger capturing her jaw to get her to look up at him. “I see you for who you really are Y/N. Not this version of yourself that your father has made you believe that you are.”  

A shuddering breath fell from her throat when Negan knelt down before her on one knee, his hand grabbing a hold of hers while the other reached into his jacket pocket to pull out a jewelry box. Pulling open the top, Negan revealed a gorgeous engagement ring that took her breath away and she felt her eyes tearing over, “Erin and Beau helped me pick this one out. We all agreed it was the best one for you because it reminded us of you. Regardless of how you feel about things, you stand out to us Y/N. You are beautiful. You lighten up a room and you shine like no other when you let yourself shine.”

Holding the ring up, Negan’s dimples became more prominent with his smile expanding out over his features, “I love you with everything that I am Y/N. When I’m with you, I feel whole and when I’m not, I’m in physical fucking pain. Everything hurts when you’re gone because I love you so fucking much. I want to be the person that you come to when you’re sad. I want to be the arms that hold you when you need that comfort. I want to wake up every morning and see your face because your face makes me the happiest. I love you so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

It was quiet. Most people were gone, so it was actually scary quiet how everything was when Negan wasn’t talking, “It’s Christmas Eve Y/N. I know this ring isn’t as sweet as our previous one, but I think it was perfect for you. Y/N, will you make me the happiest fucking man alive and do me the honor of marrying me?”

A whimpering breath escaped her lips. She was crying. He was crying. This was what she wanted more than anything. This was a perfect proposal in a place that actually meant something to her. Yet, she didn’t answer. Lowering her head had Negan letting out an uncomfortable sound because she didn’t respond like he thought she would.

“You have can have that perfect life Y/N. We can make it, together,” Negan stroked his thumb over the top of her hand, lowering his head to try to get her eyes to connect with his. “We’ll get married on New Years. You can move in and we can start a family, together. With the four of us, we will be the thing that you always deserved. A family that loves you, that wants you happy. We can keep trying for a baby together. We can have the perfect life, all you have to do is just say yes.”

Y/N’s face scrunched up and a saddened sound fell from her throat, “I know that you are upset about what happened at your family’s home, but they are just a mess. They have been victim blaming you all along making you think you are the bad person, but you’re not. Don’t let those people determine your future and your happiness Y/N. Let me, Beau and Erin give you the love that you always deserved.”

“Negan,” she began, using her free hand to reach up to wipe at her eyes with the back of it. Call her a fool, call her what you want, but she knew that she was not what was best for Negan and his family. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Pulling her hand away from his had him letting out hurt exhale when she moved around the office to go over to the couch to sit down on the edge of it. Negan remained still in the position that he was in, his body slouched over and his hand that was holding the ring lowering down to the ground. Turning down the best proposal she would have ever likely gotten was against everything that she wanted, but she felt like saying yes would be greedy and hurt those that she actually cared for.

“You and your family deserve better than me,” she made it clear how she felt hearing Negan’s breathing loud while he braced his hands on the floor of her office. “You are a gorgeous man, with an incredible job. I know you can find better than me.”

“There is no one better than you,” Negan whispered, finally get back to his feet. When his eyes met hers, it took her breath away to see that he was actually crying. Full on crying over how this was going. “Why can’t you see how much I fucking love you? I don’t want anyone else. I don’t want to keep looking. I know how my heart feels and it loves you. It wants to be with you. No one else. Stop letting your father fucking rule your life Y/N. You aren’t the person he let you believe that you are. You found someone who loves you more than life itself. Someone who would do anything for you and they would go to the ends of the Earth to make you happy, yet you are denying yourself that happiness. Because of what some angry, old farmer said to you? I love you Y/N.”

“I love you too,” she whispered feeling the noticeable chest pain that she had because it hurt to hear Negan upset and to see him that way. “I love you so much. It’s crazy how much I love you Negan. I meant everything I said. With you is the only place I’ve ever felt like I belonged in this world…”

“Then marry me,” Negan begged one final time, a tremoring breath falling from his throat, but once again it was followed up with a shake of her head. “I don’t understand why you are doing this to yourself. To me.”

“I just can’t Negan,” she whispered, her breathing uneven when he dropped his arms down at his sides. “I can’t. I’ll consider staying at this job, but us? We can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

Getting up from the couch, she stepped forward to drag her hand down over the side of Negan’s face. There was misery in his eyes when she headed for the door leaving him alone in her office. It hurt seeing him like that, but she knew deep down if she were to marry Negan, she would only give him more trouble in the future. She wanted him happy and, in her mind, the only way he could be happy is he found something better than her.

----

Tags: @slutlanna976 @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @de-gabyconamor @ibelongtonegan @smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams  @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan @redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted @akumune​ @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03 @sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf @hollyismentallyillhelp @promiscuousbarnes​ @tone-stark @lanadelnegan @flippittygibbitts @stickyhuesos @dilfsandmartinis

[kittenofdoomage]

In case you missed it...

I'm currently posting a fic a day over on Ao3 for my Tropetober A-Z event on Patreon last year. It's a different character every day from different fandoms, mostly smutty (you know me). All red underlined links lead to AO3, please read the warnings on individual stories 😘

The fics:

A: Alpha/Beta/Omega - Winter Nights

(Geralt Of Rivia x fem!reader) You’re an Omega who lives at Kaer Morhen, unmated but belonging, almost like a pack Omega to the Alpha Witchers; Geralt, Coen, Lambert and Vesemir, though the elder Witcher is long past any need for you. Geralt is close to rut when he returns, and seeks you out.

B: Bodyswap - Worth The Wait

(John Winchester x fem!reader) Some supernatural beings don’t want to hurt anyone, they just want to prove a point.

C: Character Death - The One Good Thing

(Negan x fem!reader) You waited so long to have him back, and he’s waited so long to get back to you, now you can be happy again… right?

D: Dark fic - On Our Terms

(Geralt Of Rivia x fem!reader) A sorcerer out for revenge leaves you in a dangerous position, and you’re not sure you’re going to make it out of this one.

E: Enemies To Lovers - Trapped

(Bucky Barnes x fem!reader) An incident on a mission leaves you and Bucky trapped in a vault. Being sealed in a relatively small space is a problem on its own, but you’re faced with another dilemma; you absolutely hate Bucky Barnes.

F: Fake Dating - Keeping Up Appearances

(John Winchester x fem!reader) You haven’t heard from John in three months, after he abandoned you, but now he needs your help on a case. Are you willing to ignore your feelings to help him?

G: Glad To Be Alive - All Is Not Lost

(Negan x fem!reader) A sequel to "The One Good Thing" which was letter C of Tropetober.

H: High School Sweethearts - Bittersweet

(Steve Rogers x fem!reader) In any time or place, she'd love him.

I: I Don't Want To Ruin Our Friendship - Mistakes

(Bucky Barnes x fem!reader) She took a chance and it broke her heart - can Bucky fix the mistake he made?

J: Just Friends - Nightcap

(John Winchester x fem!reader) She’s sick of correcting everyone, and alcohol loosens the tongue.

K: Kiss Of Life - Near Miss

(Geralt Of Rivia x fem!reader) Geralt saves your life, then reminds you to never nearly die again.

L: Love Potion - A Wee Favor

(Dean Winchester x fem!reader x Sam Winchester) Dreams can come true.

M: Mates - Crossed Paths

(Alpha!Geralt Of Rivia x Omega!fem!reader) Destiny put them in each other's way for a reason.

N: New Old Flame - Always Yes

(John Winchester x fem!reader) They came so close to something special, only to have it torn away; is there any hope left for them now?

O: One True Love - Backseat Lover

(Dean Winchester x fem!reader) He's been keeping a secret from her, and when they're stranded alone for hours, he finally has to come clean.

P: Please Don't Leave Me - Vigil

(Bucky Barnes x fem!reader) He's halfway through a mission when something he can't fight happens.

Q: Queen Size Bed - Never Have I Ever

(John Winchester x fem!reader x Dean Winchester) Drinking can lead to all sorts of decisions, luckily, these are good ones.

R: Roommates - Sleepless

(Bucky Barnes x fem!reader) Turns out, the solution to the problem was there all along.

S: Soulmates - Runaway

(Geralt Of Rivia x fem!reader) You run away from the life your parents want for you, and finally find your soulmate in the most unlikely of places.

T: Time Travel - Time Breaks All Things

(John Winchester x fem!reader) - A misstep on a case puts them somewhere they didn't expect to be, and they're not sure if there's a way home again.

U: Unresolved Sexual Tension - Seize The Sam

(Sam Winchester x fem!reader) Dean "Matchmaker" Winchester strikes again.

V: Virgin - Life Lessons

(Geralt Of Rivia x fem!reader) The night that Geralt learned his most valuable life lessons…

W: Werewolf - The Wolf Moon

(Henry Cavill x fem!reader) A night of camping leads her right into the arms of fate.

X: Xenafication - Rough

(Geralt Of Rivia x fem!reader) Something changes you, and Geralt isn't sure it's a good thing.

Y: You Can't Fight Fate - Ships In The Night

(Dean Winchester x fem!reader) She keeps running to avoid heartbreak but she's breaking all the same.

Z: Zombies - Full

(Negan Smith x fem!reader) She knows she shouldn't, but the problem is, she wants to, real bad.

If you do check any of the fics out, please let me know what you think 😊

[pedroshotwifey]

A Real Man Frankie Morales x plus size!fem!reader - Frankie has you sit on his face. (1.2k)

Fucking Mine Dave York x fem!reader - You help Dave get out some frustrations. (839)

One Condition Marcus Pike x fem!reader x Ezra (Prospect) - You and your partner, Marcus Pike, get stranded on an inhabited planet and run into problem after problem. You find yourselves in a compromising position that requires help from a strange man, who comes to you with one condition. (4.9k)

Cramped Innocent!Din Djarin x GN!reader - As you tried to explain, the two of you really don't fit in the cockpit. (927)

Bargian Javier Peña x male!reader - You and Javi play through one of your scandalous fantasies (2.1k)

Salty Sweet Javier Peña x fem!reader - Javi eats you out on your birthday---with a deliciously kinky twist (1.3k)

Better Ezra x f!reader - You join Ezra on his unscheduled break, not knowing you're in for the ride of your lifetime. (2k)

Good 'n' Deep Fat!Frankie Morales x f!reader - Fat Frankie can't be sated. (2.6k)

What Matters Older Joel Miller x f!reader - Your and Joel's first time together turns into so much more. (1.9k)

Needy Sub!Frankie Morales x dom!f!reader - Frankie gives you control for the night and you make sure he gets the most out of it. (1.6k)

Tease Sub!Dieter Bravo x sub!GN!reader x dom!Dave York - You and Dieter think it's fun to tease Dave, and Dave thinks he should teach you both a lesson for it. (2.4k)

Toeing the Line fwb!Marcus Pike x f!reader - Can you really just be "friends"? (740)

Stress Relief Pre-outbreak Joel Miller jacking off to some porn

Mini Skirt Javier Peña x fem!coworker!reader - You start thinking down on yourself---luckily, Javi's there to lift you back up. Nothing some praise and a good fuck in his office can't fix. (2.7k)

The Right Guy X-Men!Logan x f!reader - Logan tries too hard on a first date (mostly cute fluff with a smudge of angst kind of) (1.1k)

Song fic requests:

Haunted QZ!Joel Miller x afab!reader - Haunted by Beyonce

Taste Ex!Javi x reader - Taste by Sabrina Carpenter

Requested Drabbles

Want some help on what to request? Try one of these links! (Make sure to specify which prompt list you’re using or I will assume it’s prompt list 1 :)

Prompt list 1

Prompt list 2

Prompt list 3

Prompt list 4

I am also willing to write for JDM characters (love me some Negan 🤭) , Oscar Isaac characters, Cassian Andor, Hugh Jackman characters (Logan is my fav) and Rick Grimes! Feel free to suggest a different character and I’ll see what I can do! ❤️

Small letter about the requests (basically saying that this is a safe space for all of you to request whatever you'd like!)

[paintyoureyeswithavividmind]

close to home | chapter fifty two

close to home | chapter fifty two

plot: no real plot, just nsfw content 😏

series masterlist

Pairing: Eventual Daryl Dixon x f!reader Word Count: 4,528 Warnings: violence, blood, typical twd, explicit sexual content (you're welcome) A/N: thank you for reading!!!

The Hilltop became your home for the time being. With all the moving parts and Alexandria being overridden, most Alexandrians ended up at Hilltop. You didn’t mind, except there were so many people it was impossible to be alone for more than five minutes. 

You received a letter from Carl, and Michinne urged you to read it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to open it. 

Things moved slowly in the following days and a few weeks after defeating the Negan. You told Rick you couldn’t be apart of any decisions, that you didn’t have the mindset to even think about helping the saviors. And he respected your decision and let you be. 

You mostly busied yourself with helping Maggie with whatever she needed. She started showing a few weeks after the end of the war, and it seemed to liven up the place. She was their leader, and the people loved her. 

It was nightfall when you returned to the tent you and Daryl shared. It was much bigger than the old one since supplies had been divided up from the Sanctuary. It had enough space for a mattress, a small table that served as a nightstand, and then an old trunk that housed all the belongings that weren’t at Alexandria. 

Tora was waiting for you, who had waited out the war at Hilltop. You sobbed when you finally saw her again, and she didn’t leave your side for a few days. She seemed to be mourning Carl as well and had taken up following Judith around on her walks with Michonne and Rick. 

You collapsed onto the bed and looked at Tora, who was comfortable on the trunk. You stared up at the tent’s ceiling and took a deep breath. When you heard the tent unzipper, you sat up and watched Daryl walk in. You hadn’t seen him since this morning; he went out with Jesus on a run. 

“I missed you,” You said to him as you leaned back, watching as he started to get ready for bed. He kicked off his shoes and then took off his shirt. His back was to you, and you stared at the angry scars on his back. Then he took off his pants, and you admired his figure before he came over to you. You sat up again and tilted your head to look up at him. 

“I missed ya, too,” Daryl whispered, setting his hands on either side of your jaw and leaning down to kiss you. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down to you. One of his hands left, and you heard the click of the lantern before he sank down next to you.

You hummed against his lips as he threaded his fingers through your hair before pushing you against the mattress. His hand moved to your waist and squeezed before his lips finally left yours. 

“You drive me crazy, Daryl Dixon,” You told him, running your fingers through his hair.

“Can say the same thing ‘bout yaself,” Daryl told you and kissed you softly. 

“You used to be so shy kissing me,” You chuckled. “It was the most frustrating and adorable thing all at once.” 

You felt his lips smile against yours before they finally pulled away. “Yeah, well, after everythin’ and almost losin’ ya, don’t wanna regret anythin’. Besides, I love ya. Got nothing to be shy about anymore,”

You smiled and cupped his cheeks briefly before he swatted them away. “Good, because we haven’t had sex in days cause of everything, and I need you more than life itself,”

“Oh, do ya?” Daryl whispered, and you felt his facial hair tickle your neck. Your eyes fluttered shut when his lips touched your skin, and you titled your head the other way, giving him more access. 

“Daryl,” You breathed out, feeling his hands move from your waist to your inner thigh. 

“Mhm, I know,”

He was gone in a flash, and you heard him unzip the tent, and Tora meowing in displeasure. Then he zipped it back up and came back over to you. 

You spread your legs so he could hover above you, and he didn’t waste a second before kissing you again. You ran your hands down his broad chest. No signs of bruises or cuts just hardened muscle under soft skin. You trailed your fingers down his abdomen to his briefs and snapped the band against his skin. 

“Ya a real tease,” He mumbled against your lips. 

You pushed him backward, flipping the two of you around, and grinded against him. “Don’t act like you don’t like it, old man,” 

Daryl grabbed you by the shirt and pulled you down, taking it off before you even realized what happened. “Not an ol’ man,”

“True,” You said, circling your hips as you felt him grow harder. “An old man probably couldn’t keep up with me.”

Daryl groaned and grabbed your waist, using his hands to make you move faster. “Do ya ever just shut the hell up?”

You bit your lip to suppress the moan that bubbled in your throat when you felt his tip rub against your clit through your clothes. “I thought you liked it when I’m loud?”

***

The following day, after multiple orgasms that left you shaking on the bed the night before, and another round when Daryl woke up to your sleeping body and couldn’t stop himself from waking you up by sucking on your neck, you walked out into the brisk fall air with sore legs and a grumbling stomach. 

“Give me that back,” Daryl said behind you. 

“No way,” You said, stepping away from his hands when he tried to grab his vest. “I think it looks nice on me.”

“(Y/N),”

You grabbed his hands and moved closer to him, leaning up so you were closer to his face. “I tell you what, Daryl Dixon, I’m going to be walking around sore all day because you couldn’t keep your grubby hands off me, so if I wanna steal your damn vest, then I’m going to, and there’s nothing you could do about it.” You said before walking away. 

But then you paused and turned around, meeting his eyes. “Besides, if you let me wear this today, maybe it’ll be the only thing I wear tonight.” When you saw his eyes widen, you smiled, “What? Don’t you like the idea of me riding you with just this on?”

With him blushing and shell-shocked, you smiled to yourself and walked away. 

***

Later that day, you were sitting with Michonne while eating lunch. It was quiet while the two of you sat together and ate, and it was something you never thought you’d have again. Aside from Daryl, Michonne was your best friend and had been for a long while. Even though you disagreed with her supporting Rick’s decision, you knew why she did it. The exact reasons why you support Daryl. Because you both loved the men you were with.

“How’s Rick doing?” You asked. 

“He’s okay, I think. He’s throwing himself into work. Which is better than sitting around. He wants to start clearing Alexandria soon and fixing the walls and everything else.”

“And you?”

She shrugged, “I’m okay, I guess too.” Then she looked at you, “Are you and Daryl going to come home once Alexandria is good?”

You nodded slowly. “Probably. I might bounce back and forth ‘cause of Maggie. We haven’t talked about it, but… it is home.”

***

Later that night, Daryl was anxious when he went to the tent you two shared. All day he had thought about your words, and it made fixing the walls that the firebombs from Oceanside burned hard. His hands would tremble when he thought about it too much, and Rick would ask him every so often if he was okay. 

So when he approached the tent and quietly entered, his mouth parted when he saw you waiting for him exactly like you said you would. 

“Sorry in advance,” Daryl said to you as he took off his shirt, eyes never leaving your body. You were sitting on your knees, completely naked, aside from the vest that teasingly covered your breasts and nothing else. You sat with your legs spread out so he could see every inch of you. 

“Why’s that?”

“‘Cause ya gonna be sore again tomorro’,”

Daryl swallowed as he knelt down on the mattress in front of you as moved so you were on your knees, and he brushed your hair back, which was, for once, not in a braid. His calloused hands caressed your cheek, down your neck, and through the center of your chest before they gripped your waist and pulled you so you were chest to chest. 

His gaze went back to your face, searching your eyes for that look you consistently gave him since before he even recognized what it was. If there was one thing the savior war did, it was prove to him how much you loved him. It was what he reminded himself of when he doubted you loved him. But he saw it in the way you looked at him, the way you teased him with little jokes or sarcastic comments. But more importantly, it was the way you gave him your life for him so many times. And he loved you every bit as you loved him. 

His eyes closed when he felt your hands on his bare chest. Your cold fingers from the chilly fall air left goosebumps on his skin. His heart beat erratically when he opened his eyes again and looked down at you. 

“I would do anythin’ for ya,” His voice was deep and gruff, a contrast to the meaning words he spoke. Words that he held in reserve for you and only you. 

You smiled and leaned up, rubbing your nose against his for a second. “I know,” You whispered. 

Finally, he couldn’t resist it anymore and leaned down to kiss you deeply. His tongue ran against your bottom lip, and he pulled you even closer to him. As he kissed you, he pushed you backward.

When he carefully had you on the mattress, he grabbed your thigh and opened your legs before he hovered between them. 

“Tell me again,” Daryl mumbled against your neck as he pressed kisses down to your collarbone. 

“I love you,” You breathed out. 

His lips continued its trail until they got to your breasts, and he pushed the sides of the vest away to kiss the soft skin before darting out his tongue over your nipple. Hearing your moan, he moved to the other one and repeated his actions. When your back arched and your fingers threaded through his hair, he felt himself grow harder. 

Then he continued down, leaving kisses and licks down your abdomen, feeling the weight you’d put back on the past few weeks with his hands. He squeezed the soft skin and left kisses around your belly button before adjusting himself and lying flat across the mattress with his head between your legs. 

“Daryl,” You moaned. 

He pulled your legs further apart with his hands and held them down. His lips further nipped, kissed, and licked at your inner thighs. The moonlight shining through the tent’s roof allowed him to see each dip and curve of your skin and the freckles that dotted your thigh. 

He listened to you moan his name again, back arching off the bed already and hands gripping the blanket. He smiled to himself as you withered underneath him. Daryl hadn’t done this to you, nor any woman, for a very long time. 

But hearing you moan his name and seeing the way your body reacted to his touch before he even got started was enough of an invitation. So he dipped his head down, and with one struck up your center, you had to cover your mouth. 

He gripped your thighs tighter as you tried to clench around him, your body shaking. He repeated his actions slowly, each time getting the same reaction. His tongue dipped into the curves, and his cock twitched at how wet you were. It pooled on his tongue with each lick. 

And when he finally circled your clit with his tongue, your hands fisted in his hair, and he moaned into you. Slowly, he let one of your thighs go and brought his finger to you, playing with your entrance before sliding it in. 

“Daryl…” You moaned loudly. He knew it was too loud, but he continued his movements and wrapped his lips around your clit, sucking lightly and using his tongue to swipe back and forth. As he heard his name again from your lips, he added a second finger and pumped harder. Anything to listen to his name again or make you feel this way. 

His fingers rubbed the soft ribbed spot a few inches deep that he knew had you breathless. When your hands pulled at his hair and your body started shaking, he knew you were close. He also knew he would finish if he kept this up anymore. 

So he moved his fingers faster, rubbing that spot and licking your clit repeatedly in a circle, making you breathe faster and faster. And he knew exactly when you were going to climax because you clenched around his fingers, and he had to reach up to cover your mouth with his hand. 

Your body shook as you came down from your high, and he felt your hands reaching for him. 

“Come here,” You whined, and he immediately moved to you. Your hands grabbed his face, and your lips met his feverishly, moaning as they did. Daryl lost his balance at your desperation, and his body rested against yours as you parted his lips with your tongue and sucked on his. 

He grinded his hips against yours, rubbing himself against you and feeling your cum and wetness soak into his briefs. 

Your moan broke apart the kiss, and he let out a deep breath of air. “Ya like that, don’t ya? Tasting ya self like that.” He mumbled against your lips as he grinded against you again. 

You nodded, mumbling just how much you liked it, and he felt your hands pushing down his briefs. He had no clue how you got them off so fast, but your desperation for him had his heart beating in his throat, and the only thing he could feel from you was how much you loved him, how much you wanted him. 

That feeling drove him mad; the feeling of being wanted. It was like a drug to him. It was better than anything he’d ever had, and he wanted to bask in it. He wanted to wrap himself up in it and never let it go. The way you wanted in him in every way had him ready to risk anything, do anything just to keep it. 

“Now, Daryl,” You said, breaking apart his thoughts. He felt your cold fingers wrap around him as you lined him up. “Oh my God, now,”

The both of you moaned when he pushed himself in, and he couldn’t stop himself after that. He thrusted faster and harder, leaving you breathless, and needy for more. He felt your legs around his waist, which let him go deeper than before. 

Daryl would’ve loved to put you on your knees and bend you over, which he hadn’t had the opportunity to do to you yet, so he could go even faster and harder. But then he couldn’t look down at your face; your eyes either glazed over with tears from the pleasure or closed tight while biting your lip. He couldn’t watch the way your breasts bounced with each thrust, but mostly because he couldn’t look you in the eyes while you came, which was a level of intimacy he’d never had with anyone but craved with you. 

“Daryl, I’m gonna…” You trailed off, fingernails biting at his skin and edging him further. 

“Don’ gotta hold it back,” He said, holding his thrusts for an extra second before he pulled out. 

Daryl’s gaze met yours and he leaned down, kissing your forehead. He felt that same feeling around his cock and knew you were about to lose it. So he bent down and kissed you through your moans, which effectively silenced you. 

After you finished, your bodies still moving together, you cupped his cheeks and he stared down at you, watching a teardrop fall. “I love you, Daryl Dixon,” 

He nodded and leaned down as he thrust hard, “Love ya, (Y/N),”

The feeling of being inside you was everything to him at that moment. It told him that everything was over, that you were finally, truly his. He could sink into you night after night, morning after morning, and he didn’t have to worry about you being taken. He was free to love you with every part of himself. 

“You’re…gonna…make me so sore,” You breathed out in a soft moan. 

“That’s the plan,” Daryl said, his arms twitching from supporting his weight for so long. But he ignored the burning in his forearms. “Want you to remember with every fuckin’ step ya take,”

You moaned at his words and gripped his shoulders. “That was the hottest thing you’ve ever said to me,” You said. 

He felt his cheeks heat up a bit, and then he felt how you’d clenched yourself around him at those words. He thought about everything he wanted to say to you in bed, when he was so deep in you that he couldn’t tell where he started and you ended. He wanted to say a million dirty things to you but didn’t know how. 

Daryl knew you were getting close again; how your body responded to each thrust was a dead giveaway. And he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer either. Not with the multiple rounds last night and this morning. But God did he went to keep himself in you as long as possible. 

“I love you,” Daryl heard you say, repeatedly moaning it over and over again. 

He felt your walls clench tighter and tighter around him, and he knew you only had a few seconds. He tried to suppress his own orgasm the best he could as he sent you over the edge. But when you loudly moaned his name, and he felt you cum around his choke, he couldn’t pull out fast enough. 

“Don’t stop,” You moaned, grabbing his shoulders through your high. “I don’t care, just keep going,” 

Perhaps it was the ecstasy, or how connected the two of you felt like this, but neither of you could stop yourselves from this. So Daryl kept thrusting as he came, pushing in as deep as possible. His eyes shut tight as he filled you up, so much so he could feel it coming out with each slowing thrust. He pumped himself into you, wanting to get every last drop deep inside of you. 

Your high was ending, and the warmth between your legs made you want more and more. You couldn’t help yourself. 

Finally, his movements stopped, and he collapsed on top of you, breathing heavily. He felt your fingers gently thread through his hair, and then your lips kiss the top of his head. Then he slowly pulled out of you and rolled over so he was lying next to you. 

You couldn’t stop yourself from climbing over his lap so you were sitting on his groin. “You made a mess,” You whispered, leaning down so you could kiss him. 

“Ya begged for it,” Daryl gruffed in that voice that only came from after sex. His hazy eyes glanced at you, still wearing his damn vest. 

You grinded your clit against his cock as you felt his cum leak out of you. “That was the hottest sex I think we’ve ever had, old man, but I don’t think I’m going to be as sore as you think I will be,”

His hands gripped your waist, “That ya comin’ on to me or what?”

You repeated your actions again slowly, giving him time to recover. “Oh, I'm coming on to you. Figured I could do all the work this time,”

Daryl tried not to smile as he looked up at your finger, illuminated by the soft light coming through the tent. His eyes were heavy, and he was exhausted, but the feeling of your dripping pussy over his cock had him wanting more, and he knew he wouldn’t stop fucking you until he passed out from it. 

“You know,” You said quietly, circling your hips. “I never expected this from you. You’re more sexual than I thought,”

“Me too."

He heard your giggle and lifted his hips a bit to make you feel better. Which it did, from the look on your face. 

“I can stop if you want,” You whispered as you leaned down. “Just say the word, okay?”

“If I ever tell ya to stop, shoot me with my bow."

You laughed loudly and straightened up. “You’re too cute."

He grunted and reached between your legs, rubbing your clit to shut you up. He watched your mouth part in pleasure, and he felt a jolt run through his body. It had only been a few minutes, but he knew it wouldn’t be long until he was ready. 

“Daryl…” You breathed out, “I said I was going to do the work,”

His finger slipped between your bodies, and he slowly pumped it in. You were so wet still, and warm, and dripping with him. It was addicting. He ignored your comment and brought his other hand to your clit, which had you groan. 

“Jesus Christ,” You said. 

He bit down on his cheek as he looked up at you. You’d leaned back, resting your hands on the mattress behind you. Your body was stretched out, showing off each curve, your breasts, and the pussy he now had two fingers in. Your fourth orgasm hit you, and he continued his slow pump, which drove you crazy. 

Daryl’s movements were slow, teasing, as he felt himself start to get hard. He knew you felt it immediately because you sat straight up and moved his hand away and started grinding against him, hard. He couldn’t understand how much energy you had after everything you’d done today, but he loved it. 

As soon as you could, you sank down on his cock and moved. You didn’t give him a chance to catch his breath before you were circling your hips and slowly moving up and down.

Daryl’s mind felt like it was on fire as he watched you, his hands touching anywhere they could. He couldn’t look away from your face, breasts, or where his cock disappeared into you. With each bounce, he met you with a thrust, and only after a couple did you press your hands flat against his chest. 

“I said I’m doing the work, Dixon, so slow your roll.”

He nodded and just grabbed your waist, watching as you fucked him. But he couldn’t stop himself, and he sat up, wrapping his arms around your waist. Your breasts rubbed against his chest, and he reached down to grab your ass. 

You moaned, moving your body fast. He knew you were getting close, and with how fast you were moving and how incredible you looked, he would follow you right along. You ran your fingers through his hair at the base of his neck.

He squeezed your ass as he pressed his lips against your collarbone. “Oh, darlin'..." He groaned.

You kissed his neck before leaning back, “I want you to cum inside of me again."

Daryl looked at you as you moved up and down, using his shoulders to balance you. He wanted the same thing more than anything. But his mind took him back to earlier, how you were so desperate for it. Then he leaned his mouth toward your ear, “Beg me for it,”

“Fuck,” You mumbled. “Daryl…” 

You pushed him backward, hard, and Daryl’s back hit the mattress with a thud. Then you moved your hips even faster, grinding them up and down. He thrusted upwards and you whimpered, his name coming out as a moan. 

“I want you to, Daryl,” You said, moving as fast as your straining legs allowed. You begged him desperately for what you wanted.

His hands gripped your waist as you continued to beg him. The words struck him deep as you moaned and whimpered. When his hand went to your clit, you nearly shouted out your begs, a string of obscenities and desires; all the words you whimpered out in that begging tone of yours had him shaking. 

And when he felt you start to orgasm, he followed you. He painted your insides, and he watched you sink down onto his cock again and again as he did. He kept thrusting as long as he could, wanting to fill you again and again, and watch it drip out of your pussy and down onto his cock. 

He only realized how loud you were when he stopped focusing on how your pussy looked with his cum leaking from it, and he grabbed your arm and pulled you down. You continued to moan your pleasure into his neck before you finally rolled off of him, breathing heavily. 

His tired eyes closed momentarily as he took a deep breath to calm himself down. His heart was beating fast, and he couldn’t keep his eyes closed when he heard you move. 

“I love you,” Your voice was quiet, and he felt you kiss his shoulder. 

“I lova ya, too,” Daryl said. 

He took a deep breath and moved, reaching for the shirt he had discarded on the floor. Then he wiped your thighs to clean you up, and then himself.

“I’m thirsty,” You yawned.

Daryl sighed softly and looked at you for a moment before he pulled on pants and a shirt and grabbed an empty container. “I’ll get ya some water.” He kissed your forehead and then was gone. 

The community was quiet, and only one of the lights from the trailers was still on. He prayed that whoever was in there didn’t hear you. After getting water from the pump and returning to the tent, his facial features softened when he saw you passed out on the mattress. He could see your naked body and quickly zipped the tent behind him. 

The water canteen was discarded, and he climbed into the bed and pulled up the covers. Then he wrapped his arm around your stomach and pulled your sleeping body so your back was against his chest. 

He pressed a kiss behind your ear before shutting his eyes and falling asleep.

[daryltwdixon]

Part VII

word count: 3k

no warnings apply

“Again.”

Negan’s hand slams down onto the long table in front of you, the wood shaking under the force of his fists. The sound reverberates through the room, sharp and jarring, as though the walls of your skull jostle with it.

You sigh, pressing the heels of your hands against your eyes, fighting the urge to snap. “We’ve been over it a thousand times.”

“Don’t care,” he growls, his voice dripping with venom. “Again.”

His dark eyes narrow, a muscle in his jaw ticking as he leans forward on the table, his knuckles pressing into the wood. Again, you recount the events of Daryl’s escape: George relaying information to you in the corridor, you finding the cell empty with a note, you running into Daryl and trying to stop him from getting away, then seeing him bust out the doors. Yes, he was alone. No, there was no one working with him that you knew of. When you saw him in the hallway, you shot 2 bullets at him, only trying to injure and capture, not fatally wound. There was no one outside waiting for him. You had everyone on perimeter check for the hours that followed until Negan’s return. Over and over and over again, Negan had you retelling the events.

Around you, Dwight and Simon shift uncomfortably in their seats, both visibly exhausted from the relentless interrogation. Dwight’s lips are pressed into a thin line, his gaze fixed somewhere on the floor, while Simon’s usual bravado has dulled into quiet resentment.

Then Negan straightens, his expression shifting abruptly into a chilling smile that sends a ripple of unease through the room. When he eyes them after your hundredth recount, he rocks back on his heels, bouncing lightly as though he’s just figured out the punchline to some cosmic joke.

“Oh, I see,” he says, his tone almost playful now, though the malice beneath it is unmistakable. “You all think this is cute, don’t you?”

“Negan—” you interject, your tone sharper than you intended.

“You two think this,” he snaps, his voice rising as his hand gestures wildly to the room, “is some kind of goddamn game? My prisoner—the only prisoner—slips outta here, right under my nose, and you’re all sittin’ here like you didn’t have a damn thing to do with it!”

The room falls deathly silent, the tension so thick it’s suffocating. Negan’s gaze sweeps over each of you, lingering on Dwight for just a beat too long before snapping back to you. His grin fades, replaced by a look of cold calculation.

“Tell me again, darlin’,” he says, his voice dropping into a dangerous growl. “What were you doin’ when it happened, Mrs. Smith?”

Your chest tightens at the deliberate emphasis on your name, the weight of his suspicion pressing down on you like a physical force. “I was in the west wing,” you say evenly, keeping your tone as controlled as possible. “On my way to check the inventory like you asked me to.”

“And the cell?” he presses, his dark eyes narrowing as he takes a step closer to the table. “You didn’t think to check on him?”

“I told you already,” you reply, the edge in your voice creeping in despite yourself. “It’s not my job to watch him.” You point across at Dwight, “It’s his. I only found out when George reported to me. I went straight to the cell, and he was already gone.”

Negan leans forward again, planting his hands on the table as he looms over you. “And this ‘note’ you found?” he asks, his tone mocking. “You expect me to believe some rando just happened to sneak in, leave a little love letter, and help him skip town without any of you seeing a damn thing?”

Your pulse quickens, but you force yourself to hold his gaze. “I’m telling you the truth,” you say firmly, refusing to let your voice waver.

Negan stares at you for a beat, his jaw working as he leans back slightly, his hands still resting on the table. “Then why is it Sherry’s gone too?” he asks, his voice low and measured, like he’s trying to piece together a puzzle that doesn’t quite fit.

Your spine straightens, the words hitting you harder than you expected. Sherry? The name rings in your ears, setting your mind racing, but you keep your face neutral. “Sherry’s missing?” you ask, your tone carefully measured.

Negan lets out a sharp laugh, his eyes narrowing as he paces along the length of the table. “Yeah, she is. Ain’t that just a hell of a coincidence?” He spins back to face you, his grin sharp but not quite reaching his eyes. “My prisoner’s gone, I’m off playin’ house with Rick and the sunshine brigade, and one of my wives decides to pull a disappearing act? You don’t think that’s a little funny, sweetheart?”

“I think it’s suspicious,” you reply calmly, keeping your voice steady. “But I don’t have answers for you, Negan. I wasn’t in the cellblock—I was handling things like you told me to when it all went down.”

He exhales heavily, dragging a hand over his jaw. “I know you have, hunny.” he mutters, his tone softening slightly as he scrubs a hand over his face. “That’s the only thing keepin’ me from blowin’ a damn gasket right now.” His gaze flicks toward Dwight, who stiffens under the weight of Negan’s attention.

“Dwighty-boy,” Negan says, his tone shifting into something lighter, almost teasing, though the edge in it remains. “You knew Sherry better than anyone. Any ideas where her fine ass might’ve scampered off to?”

Dwight hesitates, his eyes fixed on the table as his fingers curl into fists. Finally, he speaks, his voice low and deliberate. “She was friends with the doc,” he says, the words dragging out like they cost him something to say. “Maybe… maybe she went to him for somethin’.”

Negan tilts his head, his lips curling into a small, humorless smile. “The doc, huh?” He taps his fingers on the table, his gaze thoughtful as he looks back at you. “What do you think, darlin’? You think Sherry might’ve been in on this? Passin’ notes, makin’ deals?”

Your chest tightens, but you don’t flinch. “I think it’s worth asking him,” you say carefully. “If anyone’s seen her, it’s probably him.”

Negan grins, pointing a finger at you. “See? That’s why I keep you around—you’ve always got the right ideas.” He straightens, rolling his shoulders back as he turns toward Dwight. “Guess we’re payin’ the good doc a little visit, huh? Should be fun.”

Dwight gives a sharp nod, his face carefully blank, though you catch the tension in his jaw.

“You know what?” Negan says, clapping his hands together once. “I think I’ve got myself an even better idea.”

Everyone shifts in their chairs, glancing at Negan, and you straighten slightly, your muscles tensing as you wait for the hammer to drop.

“Dwight and I are gonna have a little heart to heart with Doctor Carson,” Negan continues, gesturing broadly, “and I’m just too damn busy runnin’ this circus, so I think it’s high time someone else handled some heavy liftin’.”

He points at you, then at Simon. “You two. Pack it up. Head to Alexandria. See if our boy Daryl decided to make himself cozy there. Hell, maybe he’s sharin’ war stories with dear old Rick as we speak.”

Your stomach tightens, but you keep your expression carefully neutral. “You want us to search Alexandria?” you ask, your voice steady despite the churn of unease beneath it. He never let you leave the Sanctuary unless it was with him, and even then it was always an argument. 

“Ding-ding-ding,” Negan says, leaning in like he’s giving you a secret. “You were here in the middle of this mess, you’re cleanin’ it up. Gettin’ your wish to get outta here for the day, baby! And don’t come back without somethin’ worth my time. You hear me? First and foremost: Daryl. A lead on Sherry. Hell, I’ll even take Rick’s damn recipe for spaghetti. Just don’t waste my time.”

Simon shifts again, muttering under his breath, “Guess that’s settled, then.”

Negan’s grin sharpens. “Damn right, it is. And Simon?” He picks Lucille up from against the table, pointing her at him, tilting his head. “Don’t screw this up. You’re not exactly my first pick for subtlety, but you’ll have Y/N to keep you from bashing down any doors too soon. And you will listen to every god damn order she gives you, you hear me? She tells you to jump, you jump. She tells you to cut someone’s finger off you–”

You nod once, sharp and controlled. “Cut their finger off sir, got it.”

“Damn right.” Negan says, clapping his hands again before gesturing toward the door. “Now, scoot. The sooner you leave, the sooner I get some goddamn answers.”

As the door swings shut behind you and Simon, the weight of Negan’s order settles heavy on your shoulders. The path ahead feels like it’s lined with more questions than answers, and every step closer to Alexandria tightens the knot in your chest. You glance at Simon, his expression unreadable as the two of you move down the corridor. He doesn’t say anything at first, just adjusts the rifle slung over his shoulder and lets out a low grunt.

“Well,” he says finally, a wry grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “This oughta be fun.”

You don’t respond, your thoughts already racing ahead. Alexandria looms large in your mind,  wondering if Daryl would be stupid enough to run home. And now, with Negan’s expectations hanging over you like a noose, there’s no telling how this will end—or what it’ll cost you to make it through.

Despite the chaos your crew brought to Alexandria, the search turned up to be, in fact, be a total waste of time. Over half of the people you brought stormed through the community, checking every house, every closet, every shadowed corner. They pulled open basement doors, flipped over mattresses, and even dug through the inventory for any sign of him. But there was nothing. No footprints. No stray clothes. No Daryl.

You kept your head high through it all, barking orders where necessary, pretending not to notice the burning glares from Rick and his people. But inside, every moment stretched unbearably thin, each slammed door or muffled curse tightening the knot in your stomach. Every second, you prayed they wouldn’t find him.

By the time the search wrapped up, Simon wore a scowl, muttering something about wasted time and bad intel as your crew began filing out of the gates. You played your part, keeping your expression neutral, your voice steady as you assured him they’d try again elsewhere.

Tonight, the flickering light of the lantern on the nightstand casts shadows across the room, their shapes shifting and stretching like they’re alive. Negan’s hand trails lazily up your side, the warmth of his palm brushing your ribs through the thin fabric of your shirt. His body is heavy against yours, his grin sharp and predatory as he dips his head closer, his breath ghosting over your jawline.

“You’ve been awful quiet tonight,” he murmurs, his lips brushing your ear. “Somethin’ on your mind, darlin’?”

You force a small smile, shaking your head. “Nothing,” you reply, your voice soft but even.

“Mm,” he hums, leaning down to press his mouth against yours. The kiss is rough, insistent, and you respond out of instinct, your fingers sliding into his hair. But there’s something behind it—something darker, heavier—that makes your pulse quicken in a way that has nothing to do with desire. The kiss deepens quickly, his tongue brushing against yours with an urgency that makes your pulse quicken.

Negan shifts, one hand sliding beneath your shirt, his touch hot against your skin as his other hand cups the side of your face, holding you in place. His kisses trail from your mouth to your jawline, then down the curve of your neck, each one more insistent than the last.

“Missed you while you were gone,” he murmurs against your skin, his voice low and rough. “Bet you missed me too, huh?”

You let out a soft sound, something between agreement and distraction, your mind spinning even as your body responds instinctively. His teeth graze your collarbone, sending a shiver down your spine, and his hand tightens slightly on your hip, pulling you closer.

For a moment, the room feels smaller, the heat between you overwhelming, consuming. His tongue dives out to soothe where he bites, heated and ravenous, and you lose yourself in the push and pull of it, your heart hammering in your veins.

But then without thinking, words tumble out of your mouth, cutting through the haze. “Has anyone found Daryl yet?”

Negan freezes. The shift is instant, jarring, as though someone pulled a plug and drained the air from the room. His head lifts, his dark eyes locking onto yours, and the grin that had been tugging at his lips vanishes entirely.

“What was that?” he asks, his tone low, almost too soft.

You blink up at him, your breath catching as you realize your mistake. “I—”

“Daryl,” he repeats, his lips curling into a slow, humorless grin. “That’s what you’re thinkin’ about right now? While I’m right here? The fucking red neck prisoner?”

“Negan, it’s not—”

His hand moves to your throat, his grip firm but not yet tight as he leans closer, his grin turning sharper, more dangerous. “Nah uh, darlin’, you don’t get to backtrack now,” he says, his voice dropping into a growl. “You’re layin’ under me, moanin’ in my bed, and you’re thinkin’ about another man?”

Your pulse spikes, and you force yourself to stay calm, keeping your gaze steady. “I’m thinking about the fact that no one knows where he is,” you say carefully, your voice low and even. “That’s it.”

Negan tilts his head, studying you with a sharp intensity that makes your skin crawl. “You’re worried about him,” he says, his tone mocking. “Ain’t that sweet.”

You shake your head quickly, your hands coming up to rest on his shoulders. “I’m worried about what happens if we don’t find him,” you say firmly, leaning into the role you know you have to play. “You think Rick’s just gonna let this go? Now that they know he’s out…if they find him first… He’ll come after us, Negan. After you.”

For a moment, the room is silent except for the sound of your breathing. Negan’s grip tightens slightly, his thumb brushing over your pulse point, and you wonder if he can feel how hard your heart is pounding.

Then he lets out a sharp laugh, his hand releasing your throat as he sits back, shaking his head. “You’re a piece of work, sweetheart,” he says, his grin returning, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Always thinkin’ five steps ahead. I should appreciate that, shouldn’t I?”

He leans down again, pressing a kiss to your neck, but there’s nothing soft about it. His teeth bite your skin, hard enough to make you wince, before he pulls back, his voice dropping into a low, dangerous murmur.

“But you better hope I don’t find out you’ve been thinkin’ about that fucker more than you’ve been thinkin’ about me,” he says, his grin widening. “Wouldn’t want that, would we?”

You force a small smile, shaking your head. “No,” you say quietly.

Negan chuckles, the sound low and rich, as his hand brushes back down your body, the rough pads of his fingers grazing your skin, leaving shivers in their wake. He lingers at your hip, his thumb pressing firmly against the curve, his grin sharp as his eyes roam over you with slow, deliberate intent.

“Now, where were we? Oh, that’s right…” his hands grip you harder, making you gasp, “Ya know, I still like the idea of you knocked up with one of my own, hunny. Think we should give it another go?” 

You feel your heart beat harder in your chest, your body tensing for a moment before you relax into the game you know he’s playing—and the game you have to play back. A quiet laugh escapes you, light but edged with something you don’t quite mean. “You don’t let up, do you?”

“Not when it’s somethin’ I want,” he replies, his lips grazing your neck, his teeth scraping against your skin. His tongue and lips plant long, wet kisses up your throat, down to your collarbone, not waiting for an answer as his hands move with practiced confidence, peeling away your layers.

One by one, they fall away, the fabric sliding off your skin until you’re laid bare beneath him. His grin widens, a flicker of pride and hunger flashing in his dark eyes. He pauses for a moment, taking you in like he’s savoring the sight, the weight of his gaze leaving you warm despite the chill of the room.

Despite the day—despite everything—you find yourself welcoming his touch, your body arching instinctively into him as his hands trail over your curves, calloused and sure. Knowing Daryl no longer is trapped within these walls, that he’s safe and away from all of this, it allows you to breathe easier. Negan leans down again, pressing his mouth to the hollow of your throat, his breath warm as he murmurs against your skin.

“You feel that, hunny?” he whispers, his tone low, rough. “That’s all mine.”

You shiver, the possessiveness in his voice sending a thrill through you even as it sets your pulse racing. His lips return to yours, demanding and insistent, and you lose yourself in the heat of him, the press of his body, the weight of his touch.

The lantern’s light continues to flicker, the shadows on the walls shifting and swaying like they’re alive, and the world beyond this room disappears. It’s just you and him, tangled in this dark and dangerous game, both knowing it’s one you can’t afford to lose.

[enid-rhees]

Negan’s Daughter || Enid Rhee x Fem!Reader

Chapter 6: Fight

Series Masterlist

Y/N,

Carl told me Alexandria is planning a final attack on The Sanctuary, i’m sure you already know though. and i’m sure you guys are now planning a counterattack. and you already know i moved to Hilltop with Maggie to help her take care of her baby. so i’m safe. but everyone else isn’t.

i know a fight is the last thing you wanted, you just want to be free and to have Negan killed. this could be it, this could be the day it happens.

Rick, Michonne, Carl, Daryl… they’re all still at Alexandria planning the attack, i need you to keep them safe. i know you will try, but i really need you to keep Negan away from them. you already know how important they are to Alexandria and Hilltop. they need to live. you need to live.

when it’s over, i’ll be in the woods behind Hilltop, waiting for you.

when Alexandria wins, i’ll come clean to everyone. i’ll tell them whats happening with you. and we’re going to get you out. i promise.

i love you.

- E.

teardrops fell onto the letter, leaving small dots on it.

Enid was right, Y/N didn’t want a fight. although it was inevitable. that’s all they’ve been doing for the past year. she began to think it would never end, and they would be fighting until either Rick or Negan died, which seemed to be impossible at this point.

Y/N folded the letter and placed it in her back pocket. Enid left it buried in the dirt where they would usually meet. she stood up and brushed off her jeans before she made her way back to the Sanctuary. any minute now, they would be on their way to Alexandria to take their final blow.

when she made it back inside, Negan was gathered around with his men, who were all preparing their weapons. she froze at the sight in front of her. grenade launchers. Negan was going to blow the entire town up. how was Alexandria meant to win this? she prayed and prayed that Michonne and the others were prepared for what was going to come. she needed them to win. she wanted to be free.

“Y/N! ah, my beautiful daughter. come on, tell these guys what they need to hear, they need the motivation and the encouragement.”

the men went silent as they turned all of their attention on her. she took a deep breath and nodded.

“tonight,” she started, her words choked up as she forced these words out. “we destroy Alexandria, and we kill Rick Grimes.” she declared, earning claps and cheers from his men. “we’re going to destroy their homes, but leave Rick’s standing. to show him that he has no chance against us, and they will finally surrender.” more cheers erupted from them.

“i want you to be ruthless with these people, do not hold back, as they won’t either.” she told them, eyes scanning through all of the men. they nodded in agreement.

she didn’t feel like herself saying these things, it made her sick to her stomach to encourage these guys to attack the ones she needed to protect. she felt so disgusted with herself for uttering these words. none of them were true, she wasn’t sincere in any way. she wanted the complete opposite of what was about to happen.

“for you, sweetheart.” Negan smiled, and passed over a machine gun. she stared at it, emotionless. she felt drained of herself. what has she gotten herself into? “thanks, Dad..” she mumbled, flashing a forced smile over to him. Negan slid his hand across her shoulder, and she tensed up under his touch. “get in the car, sweetheart. we’re gonna load these into the trucks, and finally end this shit.”

her chest hurt the entire time she walked over to the truck and hopped in. she sat in the passenger seat, chest heaving up and down quickly. she felt sick, she she felt so sick. in one quick movement, she exited the car again and ran off to the side of the road, and choked up vomit. she continued to cough until she knew she was finally done.

“fuck.” she whispered to herself, closing her eyes as she tried to catch her breath. once she did, she slowly made her way back to the car, and leaned back into her seat. her stomach was still hurting, but she knew she probably emptied herself out completely moments ago, nerves were just really getting to her. she didn’t want to kill anyone, she had to find a way to fake it.

or maybe-

the drivers side door opened, and Negan sat down with a sigh. she looked at him through the corner of her eye. “what’s your plan?” she asked quietly. “my plan?” he laughed. “don’t act stupid here. you know what we’re doing. we’re blowing the place up and killing Rick at the end. you said that yourself.”

“i know.” she said, “i just- i wanted to make sure you know what you’re doing.” she told him. “are you doubting me, kid?” Negan asked, his voice raising in volume. “no! i’m just saying, Dad- you are constantly underestimating what these guys can do. i just hope you know that.”

Negan laughed again. “god, you’re so naive and dumb. they could have a thousand men and still wouldn’t be able to beat us, they have no chance against us now. not with these grenade launchers! so just- shut up and let me do what i need to do.”

Y/N didn’t respond and sat back in her seat, keeping her lips in a straight line.

Negan started to drive, and Y/N swore her heart was about to jump out of her chest, it was beating so fast it almost hurt. the sky was getting darker as the minutes passed, it would be fully dark by the time they arrive to Alexandria. and Negan would start the chaos.

she needed to think of something- anything.

when they arrived to Alexandria, it was dark outside. quiet. they were all waiting for what was to come. she prayed Alexandria knew what they were doing. she realized they would be going after her too, but maybe that’s good in her case.

it felt like a light bulb had lit up above her head.

Y/N could get in one of their lines of fire, but dodge it last second, and fall to the ground as if they had shot her. they would think they killed Negan’s daughter, and that’s part of the fight that they’ve won. Negan would think she’s dead. once they leave her body, she runs to find Enid in Hilltop. Enid comes clean about what she did and before anyone could tell her she’s dead, she shows up. and maybe just then, she could be free.

if Alexandra wins and Negan dies, she’s free. but if they don’t win, and Negan is still standing, he might start another fight just because of the “death” of his daughter, he would find out she’s alive and no longer on his side, and when he’s most vulnerable, they end him.

this could work, right?

“you ready, kid?” Negan asked, breaking Y/N out of her thoughts. she blinked once and turned her head towards him. “yeah.” she said quietly. “let’s do this.”

they both hopped out of the car and slammed their doors shut. when they made it to the gate, Negan raised Lucille and banged it against the gate 3 times. he then lifted up a megaphone to his mouth. “listen up!” he yelled through the megaphone, voice booming everywhere. she was sure this would attract walkers.

“you have three options! one, you all line up in front of your own homes, and Lucille will decide one if your fates. two, Rick Grimes can step forward and let me bash his head in, and you all can move on with your lives. or! we can just blow everything up with these grenade launchers we got! you have three minutes to decide, do not keep me waiting.”

this was terrible, truly an awful, awful idea. no matter which way this ended, it would leave people hurt, and traumatized by Negan’s doings. this would leave a scar no matter what happens.

a minute passed, and then she heard footsteps.

Carl Grimes stood above her, over the fence, looking down at her and Negan. he took a deep breath, eyes shifting between Negan and Y/N. she almost lost her grip on the machine gun Negan had handed her.

he exhaled, “kill me.” his voice was shaky as those words left his lips. he didn’t mean them, not one bit. “if there’s… some sort of punishment for this, take it on me. kill me.”

Negan looked at him with an unreadable expression. Y/N could only stare with her mouth halfway dropped open. she didn’t know what to do, or what to say. “you want to die?” Negan asked. there was no humor in his voice, for the first time in forever. his voice was low, and he was looking up at Carl with furrowed eyebrows.

“no.” Carl said, shaking his head. “but it’s going to happen- eventually.” tears pricked at Y/N’s eyes. he was only a kid, he shouldn’t have to think about the possibility of him dying one day. he should have decades to worry about that, not days, or weeks, months, or even a few years. she wanted to turn to her dad and stop this whole thing, but when Carl stepped away and he was no longer there, Negan already started working on destroying the gate.

he raised the megaphone again, “guess we’re going with option three!” he yelled, and one of his men behind her shot the grenade launcher. she watched as it landed on a house and blew up everything it had inside. she flinched, taking few steps back. then Negan’s men flew past her, and they ran inside the gate, firing at everything in their sight.

flames engulfed everything, smoke was filling the air. Negan was really destroying everything.

there was barely anyone in sight, so she hoped that they had managed to hide somewhere safe or make their way to Hilltop. where Enid was.

she needed to get through this, for Enid. god, all she wanted was to be free, no longer have to live in fear of what her father was capable of doing to her. she just wanted to live a somewhat normal life where she never had to see him again.

Y/N ran past the gate, coughing due to some of the smoke. she aimlessly shot the gun, making it seem like she was actually doing something so Negan wouldn’t notice. she ran across the blocks of burning houses, picking up items from the residents of Alexandria that were left behind. she hoped that if she made it to Hilltop, she could give them what they lost. something to remember their home by.

there was a necklace sitting on the burning grass, and a half burnt paper next to it. she stuffed the necklace into her pocket and flipped over the paper.

just survive somehow, it read.

she recognized the handwriting. Enid. she wrote this.

Y/N sat on the ground, and stared at it for a few moments. she repeated those three words in her head, and then leaned her head onto the paper. she inhaled and exhaled deeply, and folded the paper up and placed it in her pocket.

the sound of footsteps made her turn her head, and her eyes widened as she scrambled to get up. Daryl stood there, his crossbow aiming right at her. he shot the first arrow and it had just missed her, and she started running. another one landed right by her foot. the last arrow he shot glazed her arm by a millimeter, but she tripped and fell. she laid frozen, hoping he would think he killed her.

she stayed on the ground for a few seconds with her eyes squeezed shut. she opened one, and peeked around, no one was near. there was a slight pain in her arm from where Daryl’s arrow had glazed her, but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle. she stood up and ran to the other side of the fence and leaped onto it. she grabbed the top of it to pull herself up and and jumped back down.

“i have to tell you guys something.” Enid said quickly. Rick, Michonne, Carl, and everyone else had finally made it to Hilltop. “what is it, Enid?” Maggie asked. “i need you guys to just hear me out, okay? please, please don’t get mad.” she begged.

“Enid, what did you do?” Michonne asked. she took a deep breath, “i’ve been in contact with Negan’s daughter since he took over Alexandria.” she admitted, and watched as all of their faces changed. “you what?” Maggie’s voice raised significantly. “what the hell is wrong with you?”

“you don’t understand!” she shouted. “Y/N is trapped. and is being abused by Negan! she never wanted any of this!” Enid was quick to say everything. “and you just trusted her? just like that? Enid- she could’ve used you to get closer to us to feed Negan information!” Rick yelled at her.

“she didn’t!” she yelled back. “i’ve seen everything with my own eyes! Y/N is not safe with him! Rick, why else would she shove Negan off of you? she was trying to save you from getting killed, she’s on our side! and do you know what happened to her when she saved you? Negan hit her, and she had bruises all over her face. for trying to save you!”

Rick went silent, and they all looked at each other like they were silently communicating. “listen, i know i shouldn’t have kept it a secret for this long, but Negan could’ve killed her. you guys don’t know what she’s been through in that god awful place. he’s made her kill innocent people before, and he’s trying again today. we need to help her. because if Negan lives through this, she can help us kill him. for good this time. please.”

“Y/N is an amazing person, and all she wants is to be free from Negan and the Sanctuary. she wants to live like a normal teenager, just like me and Carl. she doesn’t want any of what he’s been doing. she deserves to live. she deserves to be surrounded by people who will actually care for her.”

the walkie on Rick’s jeans started to crack, as if someone was trying to speak through it. “Rick, do you hear me? it’s Daryl.” he unattached the walkie from his jeans and held it up to his mouth. “we’re here, what’s going on?”

“they’ve pretty much destroyed Alexandria. but, i shot Negan’s daughter with an arrow. she should be dead. i didn’t see her move.” everyone’s eyes turned to Enid, who’s mouth dropped open as sobs began to rack through her body. “Rick?” Daryl asked when there was no response. Maggie held onto Enid as she cried into her shoulder. “Daryl killed Y/N.” Rick whispered in disbelief.

“no, he didn’t.” a voice spoke behind them. Rick pulled out his gun and aimed it at them, and they willingly put their hands up above their head. Enid shot up at the familiar voice. “Y/N!” she cried out, and ran out of Maggie’s embrace and into Y/N’s. “you’re alive.” she cried in Y/N’s neck.

“i made it seem like Daryl got me. he fell for it too easily, i’m okay.” she whispered, putting her hand on the back of Enid’s head, she raked her fingers through her hair and inhaled Enid’s scent. “Negan’s still alive, and Alexandria is destroyed. i’m so sorry.”

Enid shook her head. “it’s okay, it’s okay.” she whispered and pulled away from her. “i need you to face Rick, now. he needs to know you’re not lying to us.” Y/N nodded and Enid slipped her hand in hers, and led her over to Rick and everyone else.

she lifted her head up, “Rick, i want to formally apologize for everything, and i also want to try and explain myself if you’ll let me. you can do whatever you want to me afterwards, but you need to let me talk.” he stood next to Michonne with his arms crossed, “i think Enid told me everything i need to know. and as long as we’re all on the same page here, you’re safe here.”

she looked between Rick, Michonne, Maggie and Carl, who all had very small smiles on their faces as they nodded in agreement. “thank you.” she whispered, tears now forming in her eyes. “but we need to prepare again for whatever can happen next. Negan thinks i’m dead. he’s going to come after you guys again soon.”

“we’ll think of a plan soon, okay? right now. we need to get everyone settled here and make sure everyone is safe. Daryl should be back soon, i’ll explain to him what happened.” Rick announced.

“Maggie.” Y/N called out, and Maggie turned towards her. “i need to apologize to you. and don’t- don’t cut me off. i’m haunted by what Negan did to Glenn- your husband. and i’m sure you are too. i’m so sorry i wasn’t able to stop him then. i’m so sorry. i will do anything for you, to make up for what my father did. i don’t care for how long, i just want to make this right. and i know there’s nothing to truly bring him back- but i will forever live with the guilt i have from that night.”

Maggie was silent for a moment, before she brought Y/N into an unexpected hug. “none of this was your fault, Y/N. absolutely none of it. please don’t blame yourself. you’re safe here with us, okay?” her southern accent brought comfort to Y/N and she melted into Maggie’s touch. “thank you.” she whispered.

she was back in Enid’s arms when Maggie had let go, they were like magnets. they could never be pulled apart, not anymore at least. Enid rested her head on Y/N’s and hummed softly. “i can’t believe you’re here with me.” she whispered. “with us, safe.” Y/N smiled and brushed her lips over Enid’s. “i found this when i was in Alexandria. i found a bunch of items, and took them with me incase i’m able to give them back to the ones who lost them in the process. but this one stuck out…”

Y/N unfolded the paper and showed it to Enid. “i wrote that months ago. i meant to give that to you before.” she whispered. “it helped me, Enid. you’re the only reason i’m here. i survived because of you.”

Enid connected their lips and Y/N immediately kissed back, holding onto Enid’s waist tightly. their lips moved together perfectly like puzzle pieces. they were meant to be in each others arms, to kiss each other for the rest of eternity.

“i love you.” Enid whispered against her lips. Y/N pressed one more kiss to her lips, “i love you too.”

[carlsdarling]

Carl and Reader have matching tattoos no one can change my minde

Matching Tattoos

Some headcanons to Carl`s and Y/N's matching tattoos... Everyone is 18 or over

WARNINGS: violence, angst

You and Carl hooked up shortly after he and his people arrived in Alexandria. You were charmed by him from the start, his lovely character, his handsome face, his skills at the gun. Carl acted much more mature than the teenagers of the same age you had grown up with in Alexandria; probably this was because he had already experienced and been through so much, whereas in Alexandria it had always been safe.

Carl also always had a bit of a dangerous, ruthless aura, and that also turned you on. But on the other hand, Carl actually wants a lot of affection from you, and he loves to lay with you for hours and cuddle, playing with your hair. He also has no problem showing his feelings for you in public. Holding hands, kissing - everyone knows you belong together.

Your relationship has developed very rapidly. When Carl lost his eye, he had a mental crisis for quite a while afterwards and was depressed and didn't want to see anyone, including you, so it was a hard time, but you put up with Carl's moods, cared for him tirelessly and never left him alone. Gradually, Carl got over it, was able to allow your closeness again, and learned to cope with his injury.

During the line-up, when Negan murdered first Abraham, then Glenn, and then pinned Carl to the ground and demanded that Rick chop off his arm, you were so desperate that you tried to intervene and distract Negan by taking off your shirt and bra and offering yourself to him in exchange for him leaving Carl alone. You had remembered what the Governor had done to Maggie and hoped Negan might be appeased that way. But he pushed you away and ordered you to get dressed again.

In the aftermath of that event, Carl was furious; no sooner was the worst of the shock over, Negan and his people gone, and Maggie left for Hilltop with Sasha, than he grabbed your wrist, dragged you into the trailer, and started a fight. "Are you fucking insane? How can you do something like that? What if Negan had been into this?" he yelled. - "Carl, I thought you might lose your arm and bleed to death! I couldn't just stand by and watch! It would have been a small price to pay to keep you safe!" - "Don't ever do anything like that again!" he commanded. "I'm protecting you, not the other way around, is that clear?" His beautiful blue eye sparkled angrily.

"I'll survive somehow," Carl assured you. - "We'll both survive somehow," you objected, "together." You then decided to get matching tattoos for each other. There was a lady in Alexandria who had been a tattoo artist before the fall, and she tattooed the letters "JSS" for "Just Survive Somehow" on the left shoulder blade of both of you.

--

Tags: @loveforcarl @knochentrocken0808

[smutinlove]

Masterlist

Dedicated to my dirty whores <3 @jas2010 @carlsdarling @taylormarieee @loveforcarl @hiro--aoki

A cute masterlist showing ALL my dirty smut, fluff, and angst &lt;3

I'm UselessBitch4205 on Wattpad <3

rules for requesting

I write for:

-Carl Grimes

-Dick Grayson

-Jason Todd

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Suggestive—Eyes apparently don't lie

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Fluff—Reader writes a love letter/appreciation letter

Fluff-Cabin—Carl Grimes asks to marry you

Fluff—CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

Fluff—NEW YEAR SPECIAL (2024)

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Angst—Carl, Rick, and Glenn notice that the reader hasn't been eating/sleeping. They force an intervention.

Angst—Reader cries about Carl's death

Angst—Reader dies. Carl cries. (Lineup)

Angst—Reader hurts herself. Carl comforts her.

Angst —Carl comforts an insecure reader. SH WARNING

Angst leading to fluff—Carl goes on a scavenging trip but gets lost. The reader goes to look for him.

Angst—After Negan kills readers father figure, Glenn Rhee, she and Carl start to fight a lot. One day, after an intense fight, Negan suddenly arrives to Alexandria. He manipulates the reader to Carl.

Angst/fluff—Dad figure Glenn. Carl hangs out with Enid a lot, making the reader jealous. !argument

Angst/fluff—Shy/sensitive reader. Carl and reader fight because she sneaks out and Rick scolds Carl, making him apologize.

Angst/fluff—Dad figure Glenn. Reader runs away because she hates Enid and her father figure adopted her. Carl finds her.

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WORDS BURN HARD: CARL GRIMES X FEM!OC

Chapter One: The Woods

Chapter Two: Undetected

Chapter Three: Solitude

Chapter Four: a secret

Chapter Five: I watch as you're leaving

Chapter Six: Meddlsome

Chapter Seven: The Journal

Chapter Eight: A caged boy

Chapter Nine: Lavenders

Chapter Ten: Little Blue light

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

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Small Series

You were my light part 1 —The daughter of the now dead Negan Smith is walking in the woods. She thought she was alone. But she wasn't.

You were my light part 2

You were my light part 3

You were my light part 4

You were my light part 5

You were my light ALTERNATIVE ENDING—The daughter of Negan Smith wakes up from what she thought was real but was a dream. She wants to find him. Y/N Smith wants to find Carl Grimes.

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Dick Grayson

NSFW Alphabet—for the ladies who noticed the lack of dick grayson content.

King of my heart—You and him cannot be together. You two are from different worlds. !Fem!Knight!reader x !Prince!Dick Grayson.

SFW Alphabet—for the ladies who know dick grayson is just another softie <3

Breeding Kink—Dick sees how good you are with Roy's daughter and wants to put a baby in you.

Dick Grayson: first anniversary headcanons—this is cute. dick grayson is a gentleman. !gender neutral reader

College!Dick Grayson headcanon—he would do it to your fav song. he's snarky, he's THE shit. and he's mine <3

In the shower—Sex in the shower. What's better than that?

Fluff headcanons—sweet fluff

Safeword—Dick and Jason headcanons to you using the safeword.

Wayne Gala with a twist—Dick sees men staring at you but he wants them to know that YOU are HIS. (Basically hot sex in bruce's office)

Missed me?—an injured nightwing comes home... he's in a teasing mood.

Belt loops—Dick is a little handsy sometimes. PDA? That's his thing.

Insecurities —Fem!reader

Mission gone wrong—A simple mission. How'd you two end up married?

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Jason Todd

Fluff headcanons—sweet fluff

NSFW Alphabet—you know what this is, love.

Training Room—sweaty jason todd is a NEED.

More size k!!nk headcanons

The Rooftop—You convince Jason to not jump.

size k!!!nk—jason "size kink" todd headcanons. ugh, he's scrumptious.

Notebook—You're a journalist, he's Jason Todd. Do I need to say more? fem!reader

Trinity—Jason and Carl Grimes don't fuck. They fuck you. (Threesome)

Random Headcanons—a bunch of silly little headcanons

Safeword—Dick and Jason headcanons to you using the safeword.

Amusement Park—fluff. You and Jason and a few friends are at an amusement park. Jason spots a haunted house. Things turn interesting.

Wayne Gala Headcanons—Jason taking you to the Wayne Gala.

CHRISTMAS SPECIALS: 2024

MERRY CHRISTMAS, I MISS YOU—Jason Todd

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Bruce Wayne

Reacting to you using the safeword during sex—You used the safeword.

CHRISTMAS SPECIALS: 2024

MISTLETOE MISCHIEF—Bruce Wayne

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Draco Malfoy

Smut —Sex with the Slytherin prince.

Smut—Your secret boyfriend is Draco Malfoy.

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Glenn and Maggie

Fluff—It's some cute fluff. (Glenn and Maggie are badasses in this too)

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WORDS BURN HARD - BY UselessBitch4205 on Wattpad <3

[yourlastbraincell-kiwi]

A/N: Here’s another Carl Grimes imagine. But this one is if you’re the one that got bit instead of him. Enjoy!

Pairing: Carl Grimes x Reader

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It all happened so fast, and quick. I didn’t see it, but even with all that adrenaline flowing through my veins, I could definitely feel it.

I wanted to scream, but with me biting my lower lip so hard I could taste blood, it only came out as a whimper.

I grabbed my knife and plunged it into the head of the walker, then forced it off my and put a hand over my bite.

How the hell am I going to tell everyone?

My heart thumping so hard in my chest, I could hear it in my ears, as I trudged along to Alexandria, and into the infirmary.

I cleaned it up and bandaged it, not that it would matter in the end, once you’re bit and you can’t cut it off like with Hershel, it was practically over for you.

But I was known to be stubborn at times, and this was one of those times. I was going to try and make it a couple more days, to spend more time with everyone.

Michonne, Judith, Carl..

And to those I wouldn’t be able to see, I’d write a fair well note to them, and have Michonne give it to them.

Some time later, all the notes were completed and tucked away in my back pocket. And after hearing Negan storm up to Alexandria demanding that we open up, or there will be hell, we retreated into the sewers underneath Alexandria.

As much as I wanted to tell Carl in private, about the bite, it’s the only chance I’d ever get to tell any of them so…

No time like the present.

After talking with everyone, even Michonne and Rick, it was time to talk to Carl.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me?” Carl asked growing aggravated.

“Carl.” Michonne said, giving him the, ‘watch who you’re talking to,’ face.

“Would it’ve made a difference?” I asked genuinely.

“Yes! Yes, it would have.” He exclaimed with a long sigh. “If I’d have known sooner, maybe we could’ve spent more time together, maybe I could’ve..”

“Saved me?” I put a hand on his cheek. “You know that’s not possible.”

“How do you know? You didn’t even try! You gave up within minutes, making letters and shit. Do know know how much this hurts?”

“Carl-”

“No. I love you just as much as the next person, if not more. And for you to not even try, and be a little bit selfish, hurts more than getting shot, twice.” I smile as my bottom lip quivers, bringing Carls forehead up against my own.

“I’m sorry,” I quietly told him. “I’m sorry for not being selfish, but be honest with me. What would you have done in my position? Huh?” I asked and he grew silent.

“You’re not me, Carl. You’re not in my position, and I damn sure don’t want you to be. But you can’t stand there and tell me my actions are less than ideal, cause you’ve never been in my position.”

“I know, I know. I have no right to judge since I haven’t experienced what you’re going through.”

I smile glad he finally understands where I’m coming from. “Just promise me, that when we get out of here, we’ll spend as much time with each other as we can?”

“I promise.” He smiles, but you can see the sadness behind it as he leaned in and hugged me.

[kn1feprty]

Season 8, Episode 16

I have so much to say. SO MUCH. (please no spoilers for upcoming seasons)

First of all, I'm confused, happy, angry, and saddened. I'm going to try and organize my thoughts the best that I can so that it makes sense.

I'm so incredibly pleased with Eugene. He sabotaged the bullets and he is the reason why Alexandria + the Hilltop group were able to defeat the Saviors. When he first joined the Saviors, I was hoping he had a plan in mind to take them out from the inside and I was extremely disappointed and mad at him for not doing so and "becoming Negan". This was such a great turn. I'm also very glad that Rosita gave him that punch cuz GOD I wanted to do that so bad for the longest time.

I'm conflicted about the decision to save Negan. On one hand, I think he should get what was coming to him this whole time. He killed Glenn, Abraham, tortured Daryl and so so much more. He deserves death, just like Maggie wants. But then I can also see Rick's thinking (kind of). He's honoring Carl's wishes by finding peace and letting Negan live. But his explanation with Michonne at the end didn't make much sense to me. For the most part, I think Negan should be killed.

Before that, it showed Maggie speaking to Jesus about Negan, Rick and Michonne. She told him he had to go and that Rick would know(?). Is she turning on Rick? Is she going to do something to him and Michonne? Also why did Jesus agree? That's TOTALLY NOT like him at all?? He's literally always telling everyone that people can be spared, so why is he agreeing to take Negan out???

Dwight. Ohhhhh goddd Dwight ☹️ he makes me so incredibly sad and I almost teared up when Daryl took him out to the woods. Thank you Daryl for sparing him😭🙏I'm sad that there probably won't be anymore of him in the show :( I feel robbed! He's one of my favorites and I'm probably gonna make a post explaining why lol. Also, what happened to his wife in the end? Did she die after writing back or is she still out there? I hope she's alive and they reunite. They're so in love 💔 fuck u Negan.

This episode was really beautiful. Especially with the scenery, camera work, and the scene of Rick and Carl. Again, I ALMOST teared up at the end with Rick reading his letter to Carl. I'm so annoyed at the fact that he's gone, but also I feel like this win wouldn't have happened without that. I miss u Carl 😣

The tension and excitement in this episode was crazy. I love this show SO MUCH. What an incredible season finale.