#love is fine and all and i don't want to portray aromantic people as like heartless or anything

[abyssal-author-and-artist]

Rip my heart, still beating, from my chest, and watch me bleed out. You have wronged me, forced me to change, to give a piece of myself I never wanted to sacrifice.

[goobleck0]

hi okay a friend sent me a twitter post of yours and i just HAD to send you an ask. im not gonna say my account but i personally identify w/ the profic label and am active in the proship community, so ignore my ask if you'd like, but i am genuinely just. so curious.

in the post im referring to, you say that you wish that portraying toxic and/or abusive relationships in fiction wasn't stigmatized by proshippers writing about them with sexual intent, because they are extremely interesting to explore. but i'd like to inform you that that actually is what proshipping is! and especially profic. i consider proship as more of an anticensorship identity than anything else - ship and let ship, live and let live, write and let write.

of course, many do write sexual things w/ those relationships, but i don't see why that's a bad thing. i assume that you mean that profic writers writing about sexual concepts poisons the public perception of these abusive relationships, but i don't think that's a fair perspective. puritans will always be puritan, no matter what you are doing. you can't appeal to them enough to be good enough for them - you just have to be yourself.

if you just generally see writing something for sexual gratification bad, then i can't agree at all. that would be a very puritan perspective and actively harmful to free speech and the freedom to write what you desire. and, really, THAT is what proshipping is. it just so happens that many people desire writing things with sexual themes. that's just how people are - sexual themes are interesting in the same way that dark themes are, as a facet of the range of human experience. it might surprise you to learn that a lot of my fellow proship/profic writers who write about sexual themes are actually asexual themselves, and I am on the asexual/aromantic spectrum.

also, i too am autistic, and i too have a fascination with exploring dark themes in media. i consider myself an academic, and i want to become an author in the future. the things that i write now are dark fiction, and they would be considered "proshipping" because they portray dark ships. i never intend to stop writing what i do. i intend to continue writing dark fiction, and to publish it, even if it includes sexual themes, because that is contained within the spectrum of human experience and i believe it is incredibly important to portray. in fact, that would be a necessity to include in stories of many abusive relationships, which often contain degrees of sexual abuse.

if you want to post this, go ahead. if you just read it, that's fine! if you want to reply to it privately you can dm onthelamby and they can put u through to me

I wasn't going to (seriously) respond to this initially, but I agree with most aspects of your take here.

I am a huge on anti-censorship and free speech, always have been. and, I would even consider myself "proship", if the label still meant what it did during its early days. I love to see the portrayal of taboo topics in writing and other forms of art, especially by other victims. but, a lot of the proship community today has made itself into something else entirely, I fear.

as you said, you're profic yourself. and being in the community, it's very difficult to see how it is seen by outsiders. a lot of the proship community that is seen by antis are shotacon, pedos, and things of the like, I don't know the terms... I will give it to you that these people give your community a horrible wrap. the content that these people consume and produce are so damning and make genuine, educational and interesting dark-fiction hard to find for people like me that are into exploring the topics at hand.

I will never be against exploring taboo topics in media, fics where abuse happen, explicit or not, can AND SHOULD be in the mainstream. something like lolita (Vladimir Nabokov), for example, is exactly what I'm talking about, even if this work was misconstrued as something praising the topics at hand. that is what I like to see, that is what should be read and spread around! however, a lot of what I see nowadays are less like lolita and more pornography.

I am not against pornography, but that is not a media that should not explore serious topics. browsing ao3, I often see fics where characters are just abused for no reason other than the idea of the abuse being sexy. that is something I will never, ever support. that is where the stigma comes from, works that explore dark topics in such a way that promote, endorse, and support them.

several people in this community stay in their eco-chambers where they only dig themselves deeper into their trauma by consuming and creating meaningless, nothingburger abuse pornography. I want art, I want things that create a message and spread awareness. I don't want content that purposefully gives even one person the idea that these topics are erotic.

I'm sorry if I repeat myself in this, I don't normally lock in this hard on discourse posts, lol...

[oscconfessions]

Why is platonic angst socially acceptable but not romantic angst? Like, why are people more okay with discussion/content of two friends in an unhealthy relationship and not two lovers in an unhealthy relationship?

You can write a fanfic about Test Tube torturing her friends, but not a fanfic about Knife and Trophy hating each other's guts yet still wanting to make out.

You can talk about Liam restarting the cycle and continuing the show, but not about an AU of Airy and Liam being obsessively in love with one another.

You can draw Pillow brutally murdering and torturing her teammates, but not draw Four mistreating X while they both have a crush towards the other number.

Why is one situation fine, and the other not as soon as romance is involved? As far as I know, none of these creators have made statements about being uncomfortable with romantic abuse involving their characters. Is it because it relates too much to real world issues or something else entirely?

To clarify, I don't personally want to engage in any of this stuff, I am aromantic and generally prefer to see all object relationships as platonic. I am just mystified on why seemingly a majority of the OSC is against toxic relationships mostly only when they are portrayed as romantic.

.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Hi! Fellow asexual writer here!

I love your large cast of characters representing a broad range of diversity. It’s got me thinking about my own project and something I’ve been fretting about. My story is mostly dialed in on two characters, and told from the POV of only one. The POV main character is asexual, so this comes up occasionally in the narrative, especially in relation to the romantic subplot she’s a part of (she’s ace but not aro).

The story is very personal to me, so I know it’s true to at least ONE real-life ace person’s experience. But I still have a lot of anxiety about what fellow acespecs will think if they read my book and don’t see themselves represented in it. Especially since there’s not necessarily any aro representation in this specific book. This particular story/main character just didn’t feel aro to me personally as I was developing them, and I didn’t want to force it and make it feel inauthentic.

I know writers are not meant to please everyone, it’s ok for a book to have a narrow target audience. I also know it’s ok for different books to have different approaches. I like the large cast of characters approach, which inherently has more opportunities for wider diversity, but I also like the focus-on-one-or-two-characters approach, the latter of which I’m doing with this particular book. I understand representation is so important; part of the reason I’m writing this book at all is because I was so sad/tired of never seeing myself represented in what I was reading and always feeling left out and alone.

But in the half-decade or so I’ve been working on this story, I’ve also discovered it can be difficult to navigate acespec representation in particular without feeling like I’m doing it wrong or that I will face a lot of backlash in the future. I don’t necessarily care about backlash from allos, I don’t expect them to understand an ace character anyway, but it would sting if I got to the end of this process and literally no other acespecs felt represented by this story I worked so hard on to represent my own ace experience.

Do you have any thoughts or advice? Only if you’re comfortable sharing of course.

I personally think if you're sharing your own story, it is automatically authentic. Asexuality and aromantism are broad spectrums--it would be impossible to try and capture every single individual's experience--the same is true for any group actually. A story with a female protagonist is not going to be relatable to every woman, the same as a black protagonist won't be relatable to all black people.

Asexuality and aromantism don't have a lot of representation to begin with, so your contribution will be valuable in changing that just slightly.

I think it is important to show asexuals in romantic relationships because it does not erase their asexuality. Sure, it won't represent people who are acearo, but it will represent asexuals. If your main character can't authentically be aromantic, then it's better to keep a good authentic representation of an alloromantic asexual than a poor representation of an acearo.

If you focus on 1-2 characters, there's no need to force anyone else there for the sake of representation. However, if you want to have an acearo side character to show up to give a certain reminder of their existence, I think that will be okay, as long as they do serve a purpose. For example, your main character can bond with a friend about their asexuality, but also acknowledge the differences in their romantic attraction/lack thereof. You can open the conversation, if you see fit.

Large diverse casts work in some stories but not all. I think a small cast is fine, and you can only get so diverse with 1-2 characters because there's only two of them. But all in all, if you're portraying your own experiences, it's automatically an authentic story. If you were to write an aromantic character, or at least someone on the aromantic spectrum, I would suggest research/talking to people in that community.

But at the end of the day it is your story. If someone is upset that it's not their story, that isn't because you didn't portray it authentically. You cannot please everyone.

However, personally, I would rather have an asexual character whose experiences I can't 100% relate to than no asexual character. I think I would still see part of myself in them. I'm also in a romantic relationship as an asexual, so I'd be able to see myself there. However, I'm still in the aromantic spectrum, which means if this person is alloromantic, I would not be able to fully relate to them. That doesn't make the experience inauthentic, it's just one story out of many. And that's okay.

I hope this helped? I'm by no means a diversity or representation excerpt, but as an asexual writer, I think what you're doing is fine. If you want to include an aromantic character, you can, but it is not a requirement to make the story authentic.

[maryellencarter]

So we still have multiple Lupin III stories in progress.

I don't know if I can bear to post any of them. I've already left almost all the Lupin servers I was in.

Not because I want to move on. I still love the show and the characters. I have more stories to tell. But...

...there just isn't a place in this fandom for me.

People can't even fucking acknowledge that they're being unwelcoming. They'll tell me to my face that they're biphobic and expect me to just be fine with that. They'll toss out general statements about how only homophobes could read a relationship as nonromantic and expect me to be okay with that too.

I've been as loud as I thought I could while being polite. It hasn't made a dent. So here's a different try:

If you say things like "Jigen isn't attracted to women", "any story with a Jigen girlfriend is a bad story", "Jigen doesn't have any chemistry with his onscreen girlfriends", "Jigen only has relationships with women because of compulsory heterosexuality" -- you are BIPHOBIC, and let me be clear in very small words:

THAT. IS. BAD!

It means YOU HATE ME!

So I do not want you reading ANY OF MY STORIES!

You don't deserve them! You don't deserve to enjoy good writing from someone you are ERASING and SILENCING and FORBIDDING FROM REPRESENTATION.

Furthermore:

If you're one of the 99% of the fandom who saw episode 5 of Lupin Zero and said anything like "This can only be read romantically", "Every queer fan is happy about this development", "It's good that they finally stopped lying to us":

you have hurt ME PERSONALLY. Which I said, loudly, multiple times, with explanations, and not ONE person came over and said "I didn't mean it that way" or "there's room for you".

(Two people tried to tell me I could still interpret the relationship as platonic. I appreciate the thought, but -- no, no I can't. I can't *share* that interpretation without having it overridden by arophobic well-meaning asshats who can't register that they're doing any harm by acting like they think I meant it as romantic, and that's already destroying me.)

So. If you think a platonic friendship, or a nonromantic sexual relationship, can't be the deepest relationship in a person's life --

-- if you think that making a queer relationship romantic is something that only homophobes can regret or be upset about --

-- if you think making any fictional relationship romantic makes it "more", deeper, more fulfilling, more meaningful --

then GO EAT A SACK OF BRICKS!

and also don't read my stories anymore.

because I was just that stupid, autistic, aromantic *loser* who thought a story that explicitly talked about the importance of friendship was going to be about

ACTUAL FRIENDSHIP

i thought i was seeing a part of myself that never, ever gets portrayed. there are no canon-media stories about friendship that's more important than romance. i dared to start *writing* about it.

and then i found out that not one solitary person in this fandom is capable of taking a minute from ASSIGNING their joy to everyone around them and realizing, hey, a queer person is saying they're NOT happy about this development, they're deeply distressed, they just lost what everyone else gained.

Nobody wants me here. Nobody wants *what I am* here. They're happy to read my writing, but only if they can *overwrite* me into the assumption of what Somebody Who Writes Things They Enjoy must be.

I haven't even been able to watch any Lupin, except for showing selected episodes to Kat, since this happened. I can't think about posting a new story without crying all over again. I'm not allowed to exist here, and I can't even yell loud enough to get anybody to acknowledge it.

I'm not somebody who nukes my fics. Even if these weren't all co-written, an archive is an archive, and everything I've posted on AO3 is still up there. But I genuinely do not know if I can share anything more with the people who make me feel like this.

[gorgojijijijito]

I've made it my entire personality at this point but with what I'm doing I can't really help it, being an aromantic trying to rewrite a romance is HARD oh my gosh. yes im a self shipper so im no stranger to creating 'romantic' scenarios, but those portrayals of it are only born from my complicated relationship towards platonic and romantic attraction and activity. i literally only do it because im touch starved and have trust issues and confuse that with a need for a romantic relationship. i still do it because it's fun and self-indulgent, but i know that it's going to become a big obstacle when writing scenes that are meant to appeal to alloromantic audiences in Bride of Discord. that being said, im begging you guys to hold me accountable if my input in my ramblings about it are skewed or innacurate. right now im just going off of my background knowledge for general healthy relationships.

With that out of the way, commence the rambling ig.

I think the biggest difference in the acts of love in Bride of Discord as opposed to one of the works it was inspired from, Disney's Beauty and the Beast, is that BOD's are all either transactional, or hammer in the subconscious knowledge that Fluttershy is trapped. I'll go through them one by one explaining my grievances in separate posts bc ive got a LOT to say.

First of all, our first exchange that parallels Beauty and the Beast; the circumstance of how Fluttershy/Belle came to be in the love interest's domain. This one is honestly the least offensive of them that I can think of as of now, but it still has uncomfortable elements. It largely mirrors the circumstance in Beauty and the Beast, however a forced marriage was in mind from the beginning. Fine, whatever, arranged marriage is a popular trope so I don't mind it as much.

I actually like how Fluttershy's view towards it is portrayed; she doesn't see happiness for herself in any path she takes in life, and that hopelessness she feels leads her to face her worst fear in the most head-on way possible. It feels in character for her, considering it's an act of kindness and sacrifice for Equestria, and for the mental state she's portrayed with for the prior episodes, giving up her freedom is, unfortunately, a common last resort people with depression may take in order to feel something at all. I wish the audiodrama leaned more into her mental health issues, it would have fit really well for the tone of the story and provide an interesting turn of character that we don't really look into much with a show as lighthearted and FIM. Maybe it's just me, but i love learning about and exploring stories that illustrate the ways environmental factors, be it your surroundings or peers, can influence the way you perceive yourself, others, and your purpose in life.

But nope. cant do anything interesting like that cuz discord's gotta be creepy and touch her and dote on her all the time. i get it, it can be cute for a shy character to get embarrassed for being praised, but that isn't what's happening in these scenes, as much as the drama wants to convince you it is. Discord is simply taking advantage of her vulnerability to attempt to woo her with no concern for her protests or consent, and it's extremely uncomfortable to watch. He never apologizes for it and never backs off, all it does is literally tire her out. there is no change in how he values her consent from when he returns and when she asks him to keep stroking her mane, she just feels more comfortable with it because she told him about the one time she got stood up. he doesn't respect her as a person with boundaries, he only hesitates because he's flustered that he's lost the intimidation he'd used in order to overpower her in the previous month.

I feel like it would be better if Discord uses the touching and complimenting to make her uncomfortable in the beginning bc, you know, hes a piece of shit before he gets to know her, but then, as he grows to see her as a person with her own right to agency and desires, he stops himself whenever he catches himself. When Fluttershy talks to him about the reason it made her uncomfortable, he directly apologizes for his overbearingness and actually SEES the error of his ways. THEEENnn we can gradually have fluttershy actually ASK to be touched and comforted when their relationship feels mutually transparent, as they feel no more need to feep up a front about their feelings for one-another.

[the-plural-of-cris-is-crises]

Disclaimer: I'm glad there are people who enjoyed this episode and I feel happy for you. It kind of sucked for me on a bit of a personal level but I'm not saying you're wrong for liking it, necessarily.

This episode of the Orville was... Disappointing. My mom seemed to have loved Isaac's storyline but it just felt so terrible and forced to me. My mom was beaming and I was fuming. The ending was good, it was moving to see how much he cared about her that even without emotions he was willing to give up everything to make her happy. He shouldn't have to do that but it absolutely proves that (as we already knew) he is capable of love without that "sweep you off your feet" passionate emotion. But the way it was handled, yes she has been making sacrifices in their relationship but so has he, and she was asking him, straight out, to change himself so much just for her. He did not want to do it, and he expressed this initially. I don't mind them talking about it, but portraying her as indisputably in the right was disturbing.

A lot of aphobia undertones to this episode, and ableism. Particularly arophobia with Isaac, with tiny hints at acephobia with Lamarr's storyline at the dismissal that a romantic relationship could not work without sex. I don't have as much of a problem with that one because that's how they are, but they definitely made it seem like it was an unreasonable thing in general, not just to them specifically. But that's fine, I can let that one slide because they're obviously not ace and this is how allo people feel a lot of the time, so usually I wouldn't have much of a problem with that other than rolling my eyes a bit, but it felt not so great being accompanied by Isaac's storyline (not to mention them actually making a direct connection with LaMarr's "I've got the love he's got the sex together we'd make a whole" whatever line, that was. In poor taste). But Isaac's storyline was awful. I don't understand why she would be with him if that is what she wants out of a relationship. Why be with someone you know is not that way? He loves her, he does, because love is so much more than just an emotion, and his dedication to her proves it (I am also glad that he is incapable of feeling emotions and therefore is incapable of feeling hurt that she was trying to change him, make him feel something he doesn't because what they had apparently wasn't "enough"). The way Isaac acted when he did have emotions was so over-the-top and fake and terrible, especially the "it's as if I feel whole for the first time" or whatever. It's just. Annoying.

The ableism annoys me more than the arophobia, despite being aromantic myself. But empathy isn't the end-all-be-all of experience and "goodness" or whatever. I find it so much more moving that he still cares about people and life and he's still compassionate without feeling empathy. He still understands what the other Kaylon are wrong about. He still values the people close to him, he values life, despite not feeling empathy. They were doing such a good job at showing how he is both still valued by us and he still values us despite his lack of empathy and emotions until this episode where they threw all of that out the window. At least the ending reaffirmed what they've always said about him. But they just... Framed it wrong for the rest of the episode. I just think they could have done a much better job at this if they really wanted to address the legitimate struggles of people in these kind of relationships, handled it more sensitively. But I think this will be a one-off treatment of the issue, considering how it ended, so that's a small comfort. I really liked the storyline with the other Kaylon apart from the way it was handled with Claire and Isaac, though. And I thought it would have been great to have Isaac decline the opportunity for emotions and have them respect that, but nope. I would have been so happy for them to have respected his autonomy and his decisions instead of forcing their expectations on him.

Isaac saying he gave nothing to Ty in return though was the biggest lie in the episode, and there were a lot of lies in this episode! Ty was the reason Isaac turned his back on his people and helped the Union. Ty specifically. Not even Claire! Ty. His love for all of them, but his love for Ty specifically, because Ty was the one who reached out to him the most in that episode when all that stuff happened. That's love! That's being a father to him! That is the biggest declaration of love I can think of! That's giving so much to him, Isaac. You give so much to all of them and you are enough. You are enough the way you are and don't let this stupid episode tell you otherwise.

[moonlitlex]

because writing known sapphic icon artemis as someone who kicks people out of her gang of handmaidens for falling in love is weird and bad??

artemis in actual greek mythology literally had lovers - at the very least she had one. orion. most if not all of the sources i've seen for the orion myth name him as her lover. that's at least one person (and he's a man, so her manphobia doesn't make sense). there are also several sources that suggest artemis and callisto were also lovers. artemis is definitely not portrayed as aromantic in mythology.

there are also several sources that suggest that being a "maiden" or a "virgin" in ancient greece could just meant that you would never marry/were unmarried. it wasn't necessarily a celibacy thing. it's possible that people meant the former, but it's also possible that people meant the latter. the truth is probably a combination of the two, but we can't time travel and ask the ancient greeks so we just have to guess.

and the thing is, artemis isn't an invention of rick riordan. if she was, there wouldn't be any problem. if there was, writing her as having this huge issue with men and romance would just be a part of her character, not a perversion of myths that already exist. hell, the hunters weren't even all girls in the myths. it was rare, but there was still the occasional man in her entourage (hippolytus).

joining artemis in the myths isnt a safe haven from romance - it's a safe haven from the extremely patriarchal values of the time. teenage girls would be married off to men twice their age (girls were often married as teenagers while men would often be married at 30. you do the math). the myths about girls running to artemis are them asking her to protect them from these horrific child marriages (though, strictly speaking, they wouldn't have been considered child marriages back then because the age of majority was much lower at the time). some people even kidnapped these girls for marriages (not common, but also not unheard of - this is what the persephone and hades myth is likely based on)

to a lot of people (including me) it's kind of offensive to take this safe haven for literally anyone trying to escape this honestly pretty horrific culture and trying to live a generally nicer and more peaceful life and pretty much go "sorry, no. in my child-friendly wish fulfillment universe, you don't get any protection from the goddess who has been considered a protector of young girls for thousands of years. my artemis hates romance and will kick a 12 year out for having a crush." it's gross and weird to go "no, sorry. the goddess who is considered a queer icon by a lot of people actually just hates romance." (sidenote: there are other goddesses he could've written like this. athena and hestia have both never had any romances in the myths. artemis, on the other hand, has.)

also, these girls are CHILDREN when they take these oaths - there are girls as young as 8 or 9 in the hunters ranks. it's extremely fucked up to write a romance averse goddess who actively recruits actual children and then kicks them out of the only home they've known for potentially hundreds of years if they fall in love.

and it's worse when compounded with other stuff in the books that's just... off. like how all the female characters rick doesn't want to put in a relationship take vows of celibacy. most if not all of his female characters either get into relationships (they're teenagers - it's weird for all your teenagers to be in relationships in the first place. these people are like 14-17) or they take vows of celibacy (thalia, rachel, reyna). (he does this with the boys too, except with them they're either in relationships or dead. and i'm not aro or ace but i think even just having characters who can exist in peace without being in a relationship would be better than being kicked out of your home for love. jason, piper, frank, hazel, leo, reyna, nico were all major characters who would be perfectly fine and in multiple cases would actually be better characters with better arcs if they were single. unfortunately they're all in relationships, apart from reyna who took a vow of celibacy and jason who fucking died in the stupidest way).

when people clamoured for reyna to be a wlw, he spouted some biphobic and lesbophobic nonsense online, made her give an extremely ooc and out of left field speech about shipping in canon, and then made her take a vow of celibacy. (also her leaving camp jupiter when they are completely fucked due to the actual battles they've been in is very ooc. the reyna in hoo who travelled halfway across the world to retrieve a statue because it would fix the divide between the camps would literally never do this. reyna has shown no desire to leave camp jupiter or new rome before this). then when he got criticized for this, he decided to make piper sapphic.... offscreen with a new side character we've never heard of, barely a month or two after her best friend/extremely close friend and ex boyfriend died in her arms of violent causes. that's not a win for representation. that's an extremely troubled and traumatized character deciding to get into a relationship as a coping mechanism.

Can someone explain how somehow Emmie and jo being forced out of the hunters is bad when the vow specifically mentions not dating at all. Or all the people complaining just playing into arophobia and the constant demonization of men? Because the hunters is obviously (in the books at least) a safe haven for aromantics/romance neutral people /romance negative people/ anyone who doesn’t heavily value romantic relationships. So logically, when emmie and jo had a romantic relationship, they would leave before breaking the oath the swore (where they give up romance). Which was 100% their choice from when they joined the hunters to when they left. But apparently, giving up romantic interactions is only a good thing when men are involved.

[kedreeva]

Hi there! I'm here about an OC I've been playing with this week 🥰

She is as-of-yet unnamed, but she was born into a world where hanahaki disease is prevalent. However, she's aromantic - she's Just Not Into Any Of That. Because of this, she's become a healer specializing in hanahaki removal and eradication!

She's strong, self-assured, and not afraid to do hard things (mostly - she's only human, after all). In her free time, she plays violin to her three dogs and is a runner.

I really wanted to write a story about someone like myself, a story where aromanticism isn't portrayed as "omg you poor, loveless soul" - her life is SO rich, even without romantic love, and I feel it's very important for those narratives to be portrayed as well.

(as much as I love playing around with the different portrayals of hanahaki re: different types of love, I just chose the standard here 🥴)

Hoping people enjoy her when the story's finished 🤞

She sounds lovely, I can only imagine people will enjoy her when she gets to tell her story to them through you!!

And it's totally fine to go with the standard, I actually don't know much about the trope (which is fine), except for the standard variety. I'm super fascinated by the idea that it's prevalent enough in her world that there are people at all who can specialize in removal of it! That's actually really neat!

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

This is comic is legit! I love their dynamic! I'm not aromantic or asexual BUT I do aproach people just like them. I don't care about romance or relationships, another reason I love Sonic so much it's because he is free and bound to nobody but himself, that's how I choose to live as well. I remember reading the old Archie comics and HATING whenever Sonic was simping for princess Acorn (let's not forget the time he was portrayed as a literal fuckboy and slept with everything that moved....Yes it was implied but subtext. Oh lord) Plus, relationships are boring. OK on a second thought, I may be aromantic after all LOL. Your comic has given me food for self-reflection it seems 😗 It's gonna be a long sleepless night it seems. ☕

ill put this ask on my list of why i dont want to read archie sonic comics ksakjfhja

also regarding aromantic u could try to do some research and see if stuff aligns with you. ofc this is different for everyone and ultimately labels are just labels and if u dont really fit any thats fine also :)

[desertofsnowflakes]

Incorrect Order Chapter 6 (Nessian AU)

A/N: I'm sooo sorry I haven't been updated in more than two weeks. I had exams :/ Also, do inform me if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist! If you happen to find my storyline similar to another fic or one of yours, I'm extremely sorry, I might've just not known. All characters belong to the author Sarah J. Mass. Enjoy!

Summary: Don't first impressions always affect the way you see someone? Well, what more with the Nesta Archeron? Nesta meets Cassian at few unexpected places and to say it didn't go well was a major understatement. Certain circumstances make them become enemies to tolerable company to friends to lovers.

Trigger Warnings: Language

1572 words | Incorrect Order Masterlist | Read on AO3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The smile Cassian plastered on his face didn’t reach his eyes. His brothers saw that. Feyre and Elain saw that. Mor and Amren knew that. He himself did. But they didn’t say anything. If it weren’t Feyre’s anniversary, he would’ve even gone home. He couldn’t though. He wouldn’t do anything that would hurt his family. So he stayed. Smiled. Joked. Laughed. Did everything he could to keep his mind from straying to a grey-eyed masterpiece.

Az and Rhys saw, he knew. They always seemed to realise everything about each other. Even if one of them had a minor headache, the other two would know. Tonight, however, none of them pushed him. They probably thought he wanted to be alone. But did he? Truly?

He wasn’t sure. He didn’t want to be alone. That would make memories of their lunch rise. Of her shirt splattered with coffee on one day and blood on another. Of her pale form laying on his bed. Of her, enjoying his food. Of their shared jokes. He didn’t think he could take that.

He wasn’t sure he wanted to be around people either. He didn’t know if he could stay around people who laughed and teased. He didn’t know if he could laugh with them and actually mean it. He didn’t know if he could anytime soon.

Cass glanced at the clock. 3.00 a.m. He smiled. Whenever they gathered around in the living room, retiring early was totally off the table. The earliest they dispersed was four in the morning.

To his right, Rhys sighed. “It’s late,” he said, tucking Feyre close to his side. “Gotta go to bed.”

He smirked, but held back the joke on the tip of his tongue. After a chorus of goodnights, Rhys and Feyre told them they could stay here tonight if they wanted to and rose to go upstairs. Feyre laughed at something Rhys said and Cass felt a pang of sadness hit him.

Sadness… and something else. He knew he shouldn’t, but he envied the both of them. How easily they bantered and teased. How smooth their relationship was. He remembered how Feyre locked herself in the cabin after Rhys proposed. He remembered how she asked Mor not to let anyone in, especially Rhys. He sighed. He felt an amount of the jealousy dissipate. Probably Nesta would get together with him after their slight misunderstanding passed. If it did.

He got up to leave when Az stopped him. “You sure you’re going back?” Cass didn’t remember telling Az that he was going back. Then again he didn't need to. Az always saw everything. “You're not that… somber.”

Ah. Cass smiled. “I'll be fine, ” he reassured. Az still didn't let him go. “I'll send you a text once I'm home,” he tried. Az sighed.

“I'll be waiting for it.”

Cass looked at Mor, drunk and blabbering before stepping out of the house. He kept replaying that memory till he reached home, keeping his mind occupied. He was scared of what would happen if he kept his thoughts idle.

He informed Az that he reached home. He didn't know why going back home felt like preparing for a battle. It probably was a battle. Between her and his self-restraint. What was at stake here was his sanity. Cass sighed. He stepped in through the threshold and welcomed the darkness that enveloped him.

***

Stop crying like a baby, Nesta repeatedly reminded herself. Why should she cry? Nothing here was her fault. Nothing.

Not the fact that she let his charmed smiles bring her guards down. Not the fact that she felt alive when he said something stupidly funny. Certainly not the fact that she was slowly falling for him.

None of it was her fault. So why should she cry? Why should she stop herself from attending her own sister's anniversary? When it was all his fault.

She shouldn't be crying. She should be thinking about ways of exploiting his weaknesses. She should think about how she would portray him as the weak one. She should think about how she was going to make him regret everything.

But how could she make him regret it when she never regretted a second of it? She hated that this was where her thoughts went first. To scheming and plotting. She thought she changed. Did she regret her wish to be good? No. She reveled in it. No, she vowed herself, I would not scheme to make him beg. I'm not that Nesta anymore. I'll never be.

She was proud of herself. She never realised her self restraint was this good.

But apparently not good enough. Her thoughts drifted back to him. No, not him. Cassian. Cauldron, it'll take some time to get used to calling him Cassian. Or maybe Cass. Feyre and Rhysand called him that. Probably she would too. She thought about what he called her. Nes. She flushed. That stupid name did stupid things to her. She pretended she didn't like it. In fact, she loved it. Somehow, she wasn't ready to tell him that yet.

***

Nesta blinked open her eyes against the morning light. Her eyes were closed? It was morning already? Huh.

It took her some time for her eyes to adjust. She screamed at what she saw. Nesta scrambled back from the looming figure of Tomas, leering at her face.

“Nesta, Nesta, ” he said in his eerie voice. It became scarier with his sing-song tone. “My Nesta.” He paused. “Though I suppose you aren't mine anymore. You were still mine last time, you know. When you handed me over to the police. ”

She bared her teeth, opened her mouth to say something when his hand closed around her throat.

“But now, I suppose I can't call you mine anymore, can I? That reminds me. Where is your bodyguard? Or is that brute your boyfriend?” He spat the last word. His hand tightened around her neck.

“Do you know what he did to me? Your bastard. Did you know how he threatened me? Did you know that he smashed my bones, that it took me this long to heal?”

Some sort of savage satisfaction filled her. The fact that Cassian did all this… she smirked. It didn't go unnoticed by Tomas. He growled, the sound sending icy fingers ghosting down her spine. She hoped she didn't have to hear it again.

His hand around her throat pushed her farther back on the bed. He drew back, she let loose a relieved breath. A mistake.

His hand cracked on her cheek. He came infinitely closer to her, his hot, rancid breath glancing off her cheeks. His hand kept tightening around her throat and she wondered how she wasn’t dead yet. It was certainly bruised now.

“Look at you. So vulnerable. So killable. I’ve imagined how I would slit your throat. So many ideas. If only I could kill you in all the ways I imagined. But do you know what is the best way I could kill you?”

Nesta let him talk. He loved to hear himself talk. She subtly looked around her room, searching for anything she could use as a weapon. She looked back at Tomas. He wasn’t talking. Did he ask her a question?

“Tell me, Nesta. Do you know what is the best way to kill you?” Nesta shook her head, his hand pressed around her throat. Tomas smiled. She cringed mentally.

“I think the best way to kill you and make it hurt is to kill you slowly. You know what makes it better? Having that bastard watch you die. Let him watch the life seep out of you. And then I’ll kill him too.” he said and she felt the room closing in. Panic was slowly rising in her.

“Now, now,” he said. She supposed he meant to be cajoling but the effect his voice gave was the exact opposite. “There’s no need to panic. I told you I’ll kill you only when your bodyguard is there.”

He pulled out a knife. She gasped and pain erupted around her throat. Her lungs were burning.

“But darling,” he said. She whimpered. She hated this. She hated that she was vulnerable here. She hated that she couldn’t do anything when her death was slowly nearing. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t hurt you.”

Then his knife struck. Nothing hurt at first. Then, fiery pain whipped through her, beginning at her arm. She screamed. Pain. There was so much pain. She screamed so loud she pondered how the whole neighborhood didn’t hear anything.

***

Nesta gasped. Her eyes darted through her room. Nothing. No one. She looked at her arm. No pain. No scars. No blood. She touched her throat. It wasn’t sore. It wasn’t swollen. She got out of bed and looked at her mirror. No bruises. She let out a frustrated sound. It was a dream. A fucking dream. Or she supposed it was a nightmare. Still. It wasn’t real.

It was still five in the morning. Still quite early. She released a breath. She wouldn’t find a cab now but she could walk. It wasn’t that far. She fixed her hair and changed her clothes. She wasn’t going because she missed him. She just didn’t want to be vulnerable again. That’s all. She just wanted to know how to defend herself. Nothing else. So Nesta went to Cassian’s house, hoping that she’s making the right choice.

taglist: @shadowsinger07 @im-someone-i-guess @saltyfortunes @cressjacquine @champanheandluxxury @zemiraa @nehemikkele @angelic-voice-1997 @heartless--aromantic @sv0430 @irenethaleia @deedz-thrillerkilller16 @sjm-things @dontgetsalmonella @ganseys-jane

[marshmallowgoop]

Some of us lesbians want diversity in our representation. We don't want them all to be perfect, and we accept that we can have representation that isn't moral just like every other sexuality. You can't speak for everyone, especially as a non-lesbian, and declare Ragyo unfit for being a gay character. Go back to talking about the talking shirt.

LET US HAVE RAGYO WHAT THE FUCK

your latest take really hurts me, goop. i started following you awhile ago because i love kill la kill. but as a lesbian and someone that loves ragyo (while not excusing her) your claim that she is “too evil” to be representation for me and my people really turns me off of this blog.

Should’ve stuck with what you know. You obviously aren’t aware of the symbolism behind Ragyo and anything about her beyond her calling Senketsu ugly.

I can’t tell if this is all the same anon or not, but I’ll address it all at once.

I’m sorry if I came off as saying that Ragyo is “too evil” to be representation. That was 100% not my intention, and I’ll have to work on my wording even harder if it sounded that way. It is never ever my intention to “take away” representation from anyone when I share my headcanons. I’m just sharing what I personally think.

And personally, I might see Ragyo as aromantic and asexual. I also might very well see her as a lesbian. I’m open to it. I don’t deny the rainbow symbolism or that she is definitely depicted as having an affinity towards women within the show. Once more, I am open to the possibilities. You can see that in all of my headcanons. 

It’s more than fair if you find my headcanons offensive. But on the same note, it’s more than fair for me to find Ragyo’s presentation in Kill la Kill offensive. If you, however, are happy with her representation? I’m not about saying that you’re wrong. I can see what you’re saying, even if I disagree personally because I am a survivor and a wlw (who might very well be a lesbian, by the way, but I’m still questioning my attraction to men and other genders) who finds this portrayal disrespectful to my own life experiences. 

If you enjoy her, you enjoy her. I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m simply expressing my own issues with Ragyo’s representation in the show. I feel there are much, much better ways of portraying a villainous lesbian than to have such fanservice-y, glorified presentations of incestuous female-on-female abuse. I feel that Kill la Kill could have had more positive representation to even out all the negative representation. I know the team can do better. I think they are doing better now.

I knew sharing my thoughts would upset others because I am clearly not good at expressing myself well when it comes to these serious topics. But I didn’t expect such a hostile response. I am open to viewpoints. I am open to what you have to say. There is no need for personal attacks, for saying that I have no brain cells, that my work is all horrible simply because you disagree with it, that I’m just too stupid to understand a series that I have dedicated so, so much to. These messages hurt me. I’ve been on the verge of tears because of all of this. 

I am genuinely sorry if I’ve been hurtful with what I’ve written and expressed. But please understand that all of this… is hurtful, too. I’m trying to be better. I’m trying to learn. It’s plenty fair for you to find what I’m saying offensive, but it’s not fair to attack me like this. I’m not shutting down anyone as you are here. I’m not saying that you’re wrong. I’m simply saying that I, personally, find something offensive and disrespectful. And you can find that stupid and lacking brain cells, fine. But I’m not gonna be okay with being insulted like this. It’s cruel.

[genetic-gamble]

🌺 - What was your first Bi experience? (both mun and muse) || ✨ - At what age did you discover your Bisexuality? (both) || 🙃 - Worst Bi experience/story? (both) || ♂️ - Current male crush? (for muse, just so you don't feel embarrassed or anything!) || ♀️ - Current female crush? (for muse) || 🌈 - Usual reaction to canon Bi characters in media? (for mun)

DAYUMMMM ANON

Warning: includes homophobia, biphobia, medical misconduct and abuse, religious households, just generally nasty stuff so please do not read unless you are comfortable with these subjects. 

Because I don’t want this to be a mile long I’m going to answer it in two parts, this will be the mun answers and I’ll make a post with the muse answers right after.

What was your first Bi experience?

Okay so….I don’t have many ‘experiences’ in general. (I live in an area where my pickings are pretty slim. Indiana wooo).My first ‘hands on’ (not like that don’t be gross) IRL bi experience also coincided with my first time going to a bar….and my first time being wasted lmao. (it was even in an LGBTQ+ hub!) It was fun though and it felt right. 

At what age did you discover your Bisexuality?

Idk,  about of the same age I discovered boys. I couldn’t stop staring lol (thanks, girls locker room!) . Though I feel like my ‘leaning’ towards guys stems from growing up in an incredibly homophobic environment.  (not saying that’s always the case but it’s totally my case)  Ngl, I was kind of homophobic as a kid, because my family had drilled the fear of hell into me so hard that it honestly kind of made me a nervous wreck, so when I ditched religion and really questioned my identity, ‘straight’ didn’t fit the bill. It didn’t feel right, but ‘gay’ didn’t either. I just liked pretty people! 

Worst Bi experience/story? 

 It’s a tie between my father and an ex psychiatrist. My father was very homophobic and always called me slurs and harassed me for not wanting a relationship in my teens and instead being more concerned about my friendships.  (I’m a few shades of aromantic to boot)   (ps. getting a boyfriend didn’t help)  He also banned me from seeing Rent because it would ‘turn me gay’ (I was also banned from Harry Potter for similarly stupid reasons. I’ve yet to read the books and I just saw Rent a couple years ago) 

My Ex psychiatrist tried to actually diagnose me with gay (first bi, then ultimately just ‘gay’) , notes in my folder and everything plus factoring that into my medication dosage, because the only reason I didn’t want a boyfriend was because I was ugly and that’s how gays are made.No, it doesn’t make sense.  And that’s why Goth doesn’t go to brain doctors anymore. 

Current male crush? (for muse, just so you don’t feel embarrassed or anything!) 

Lmao it’s fine. We all have celebrity crushes. 

I’m…assuming you mean 3D people so. Male? Chris Hemsworth. Easy. Like, how could you not? 

Donald Glover, those eyes dude…those eyes. 

And uh/cough/Andrew WK /cough/ 

Current female crush? 

Gal Gadot. Goddess. Enough said. 

…EmmymadeinJapan

Ellen Page, that might be stereotypical I know

Pretty much any female kpop member who I know is over 18 

Usual reaction to canon Bi characters in media? 

It’s a mixed bag for me. I love my bi peeps being validated on a mainstream platform, but ffs can we pease stop with the ‘is x actually gay???’ fake dilemma that doesn’t even consider bisexuality as a real and normal thing  (looking at YOU, OITNB) 

Or media that portrays bi people as seductive, home-wrecking sluts who only think with their crotch

Or characters that were ‘confirmed’ bi on twitter or something but their actual source material only has them interested in the opposite gender or it’s all just subtext. I want text, dammit!

In summary, I’m not exactly pleased and we have strides to make before we shake off the outdated tropes, but this scene is a big leap in the right direction: 

[an-absolute-nightmare]

When people who do not love others romantically are portrayed as stupid, immature, wrong or downright villainous:

Fine.

Jokes apart, just imagine yourself as part of the aro community for once. Not ace, being asexual has got a different set of problems. For this discussion, just aromantic.

You tell people you're aro. They keep saying stuff like 'oh you just haven't met someone' &c. (See above).

You're fed up of seeing only cishet media, so you go looking for queer media. You find gay movies and lesbian series and trans stories. You feel happy. Until one person says, totally casual, just another Tuesday– "Love is what makes us human." And not even in the context of platonic love. Only in the context of romantic love.

(I hope it is clear I have nothing against these communities and that their representation is extremely important. I'm just trying to make a point, re: romantic love is a defining trait of humanity)

You are fed up of being excluded. You are fed up of being told that you don't exist. You are fed up of being told that your romantic orientation is not real.

You go to queer people. You tell them your situation.

A huge portion of them seem to believe all those things like your romantic orientation is just a phase. Fake. All in good time dear, all in good time.

Of the remaining, some believe you exist, but simply don't belong to the queer community. Because being LGBTQ+ is about loving genders that are not opposite to yours, isn't it?

And even besides them, there are people who say, you are a lucky person because you don't have to deal with homophobia– societal or internalised.

True, but only to a small extent. Society doesn't try to hurt you for liking someone but they scorn at you for not liking anyone. They ridicule and laugh and make you feel small and unimportant and they keep drilling into you 'you're wrong you're fake you've got a problem you're abnormal'. You develop internalised arophobia and you can't talk about it to anyone because some will make fun of you and some will ask you to just get over it. It's not like you have to hate yourself for liking the wrong gender. You don't need to hate yourself for liking anyone at all. Huh? Society says you're weird? Okay you're just being whiny now shut up.

Oh, and I nearly forgot. If you're aromantic but not asexual, everyone will go as far as to say you are a sinner. Lust, not love? Sin. You're a slut. You're a whore. Hateful, vile, villainous human. Not human. Monster.

You keep being alienated. You force yourself into stuff you don't want to. You hurt yourself and you let people hurt you because they're right, aren't they? You are wrong. You're alone. No one understands. You're the villain for not loving people because how can you not feel attraction? So what if you feel platonic love. What you need to feel in order to be normal is romantic love.

They keep spouting hate. You keep carrying on.

You know, if I had to describe my experience as an aromantic in one word, I think I’d go with “alienating”. Let me explain:

Imagine you’re aro and watching TV. There some kind of SciFi show on and they are debating the personhood of an AI.

The AI shows curiosity and a thirst for knowledge. They have desires. They have strengths and weaknesses. None of this convinces the doubters.

The AI makes friends. They take up hobbies. They talk about their hopes and dreams for the future. Surely this is enough to relate to them as a person? It’s not.

The AI is shown to fall in love. This is framed as the ultimate proof, the one thing that must humanize them even to the staunchest denier of their personhood or else that person is irredeemable.

You change the channel.

There’s a children’s cartoon on. “What is this?!” the villain cries, pointing at a couple. Their inability to understand the romantic love between those two is framed as stemming from the fact that somebody so deeply evil simply cannot understand something as pure and good as romantic love.

You change the channel.

There’s a sitcom on. Two characters are discussing a third character. “He’s really not that weird,” says one character. “He hasn’t been in a relationship for [x] years!” the other refutes. Cue the laugh track. The implication is clear: If he’s not in a relationship, it must be because he’s too weird.

You change the channel.

There’s a Christmas movie on. The main character is a successful businesswoman. She’s shown talking to her friends and family regularly. “You need a man,” her mother says as they bake together. The daughter denies this. The rest of the movie is all about proving the mother right, as suddenly her career, her friends and her family are framed as not being enough for her to lead a fulfilling life.

You change the channel.

It’s some show aimed at young teens and tweens. “Ew,” one character comments as the idea of them having a significant other one day is brought up. This is treated as a sign of their immaturity.

You turn off the TV.

Your experiences aren’t enough to humanize a non-human character. You’re the villain. You’re a weirdo. Your life is incomplete. You’re immature.

You’re tired.

There’s a reason it was an aro who coined the term voidpunk.

[svragent]

OK I have a list:

Guys that defy toxic masculinity. Guys that aren't afraid to express femininity, or big buff guys who you think would easily cave to toxic masculinity, but who deliberately go out of their way to be the opposite. Guys who aren't afraid to cry, who respect all genders and aren't afraid to show each other physical affection bc platonic touching between guys should be normalised without assuming they're gay.

Partners who respect each other and each other's boundaries.

Healthy representation of asexual people. Asexuality is a spectrum. Some ace people have sex, some people like sex, some people don't. Often we only see one type of ace person and most of the time it's a very bad representation of it.

Aromantic people. Aromantic people who are fine being single, who don't want a relationship ever. Aromantic people who want a non-romantic relationship. People on the aromantic spectrum who want a romantic relationship, but are uncomfortable with certain things. Aromantic people having FEELINGS, because we DO, we aren't uncaring or robotic because we don't experience romantic attraction.

Characters who aren't ace but still realise that relationships are more than sex, or who don't want sex at all. Characters who aren't aro but who still don't want a relationship ever, or who want non-romantic relationships, or who want a romantic relationship, but are uncomfortable with certain things.

Trans people. Trans poc. Trans people who have a plot and character arc other than their being trans. Trans people as the main character. Trans people who aren't the butt of a sex joke.

Non binary people!!! Enbys who don't present as androgynous. Enby people who use neopronouns because they're amazing and valid.

Autistic people portrayed correctly pls.

Disabled characters who aren't just labelled as their disability - who have character and plot and growth and are presented as an actual three-dimensional person. Disabled people who aren't always made fun of, who are loved and who are happy.

Accurate portrayal of people with mental health illnesses. Who aren't always the villains, who aren't "crazy", and who, again, have character and plot outside of their mental health. (are you seeing a pattern here)

Characters who aren't perfect, either visually or personality-wise. I want to see flaws! I want vain mcs, I want arrogant mcs, I want mcs who learn to GROW and develop as people. I want mcs who get angry. I want them to speak before they think, to accidentally spill other people's secrets, to have so many friends that they don't know who they can really trust and get exhausted because they have to be so many different personalities for so many people. And I want them to be isolated. To push people away because they don't know how to interact with people, or they're scared to let people in. I want them to be more than the goody-goody Mary sue who is perfect in any way and can do no wrong. That's not relatable.

Queer people that aren't killed off. Queer poc. Queer people who aren't "stereotypically" queer, because we come in all different shapes and sizes and don't have "one look". I want queer people who are out and proud. I want queer people who aren't comfortable to come out yet, because they're valid and I feel like society tries to push people out before they're ready.

More poc as main characters. Characters of different religions and backgrounds. Accurate presentations of their countries and culture.

Plus sized characters who love themselves, who aren't the butt of a joke, who aren't there to make another character look good.

Women who don't need men to "fix" them, who don't need men to be their solution to their problem, who don't need saving. Women being strong and standing on their own.

Children reacting to things appropriately. Children being children. Children seeming older than their age because they've been through some shit, but still being children and reacting how a person of their maturity would understandably react. Adults actually helping children rather than expecting them to deal with it themselves, because they're CHILDREN.

Characters who can think for themselves. Who aren't helpless and can find their own solutions. Characters who aren't afraid to ask for help when they need it. Characters who aren't afraid to call out problematic shit.

I think I'm done for now, sorry this got so long lmao.

I'm not sure how far this post is gonna go but I wanted to ask the internet this:

What type of characters do you want to see more of in books?