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bronx-bomber87 · 1 year ago

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Happy Saturday :) Thank you to everyone who commented and liked/reblogged the last review. I was nervous to take on such an epic episode and it got well received. Thank you all truly you have no idea how much it meant to me. ❤️ We move onto post 2x11. The healing process. Or start of. This episode is an incredible follow up.

It shows why I love the Harper/Lucy dynamic so much. Their amazing scene in the shop wasn't gif'd so found a site that'll do easy gifs. So took video with my phone and made a few. So those be mine lol They are no where near the status of the ones I use from the library, but wanted it to have some sort of gif for it. So apologies for it not being as pretty haha Anyways The growth is unreal between Lucy/Harper and I’m here for it. Off we go.

2x12 Now and Then

We open our episode with Lucy putting concealer on her DOD Tattoo. She’s using her beautiful mirror to cover it up. It’s obvious she’s trying to cover up more than just the ink. Poor thing. I can’t even imagine the recovery mentally for something like this. We then see the guys talking about her over coffee in the kitchen. Jackson telling Nolan she had him run out at 6am to grab more concealer for her. Such a good friend. Says she does it every morning. John asks when she can have it removed?

Lucy comes out says ‘4 weeks, 2 days and 9 hours’ not that she’s counting... It’s her first day back she’s been cleared by medical and psych. Lucy asks that they don’t clap for her during roll call. I can’t blame her I hate being the center of attention in a public setting. Also its very obvious Lucy just wants to shove this into a box and move on. Sadly not how trauma healing works my dear…

We join Nyla and Tim at the station and she’s asking what he has planned for Lucy? I love her immediately wanting something in place for Lucy. Wants to see what he's doing to ease her back in. Tim explains he wants to do input overload. Forcing her to push through dynamic engagements. Hone in on her fight or flight responses. Nyla says so basically get her into a bunch of fights? Tim says he wants to remind Lucy she’s a cop not a victim.

Nyla is not even a little on board for this. Tells Tim she knows she isn't a victim. What she needs is to make peace with the voice inside her head. The one telling her she’s never going to be safe again. You can tell Nyla unfortunately has experience in this area. Tim fights back says he’s been training rookies a lot longer. He knows what she needs. (yes babe but not in this instance…) Harper tells him that’s ego talking right now and he concedes. (Look at him so proud.)

Nyla goes on to say what happened to her is every woman’s worst fear. It really is. I know it’s one of mine. Tim says he’s very aware of that. Her retort is perfect. ‘But you have never lived that fear.’ Harper is on it with the logic and good points. This is an excellent scene between them. They too have grown a lot in their interactions. Tim wouldn’t be giving her opinion on this time of day early on like he is now.

His face below when she tells him he can’t understand. It’s crushing. If he could undo her knowing this fear he would. He would do anything for that. Harper continues on trying to give him a little balm for his wounds. Says she knows he has her best interests at heart. Harper wants him to consider letting Lucy ride with her this week. To let her be served and guided by someone who’s been there. Tim looks sad and defeated but says 'And that Someone is you.’ She nods with tears being held in her eyes. Trying not to think too much about why she fits the bill so much.

This scene is outstanding. Both Eric and Mekia showing so much with just their expressions. You can see he feels for Harper too when she reveals this. It couldn't have been easy for her to do so. Also just adore her stepping in like this to take care of Lucy. By letting Tim know this piece of her history in order to convince him. Tim is throughly persuaded by Harper's plea. But also looks so very sad he can’t be the one to to guide her through this.

Especially when she’s done it for him so many times. I’m sure it’s killing him he can’t be her emotional support during this. As we all know that’ll come towards the end of this ep. It’s huge for him to step aside. Let Nyla take the reins like this and with Lucy of all people. His personal growth never ceases to astound me. Honestly this scene is that for both of them. Their arcs arcs are my favs. (Other than Lucy’s ha) They are my top 3 fav characters for a reason.

We start with roll call. Lucy apprehensively entering trying to avoid the clap. It happens anyways and she anxiously scurries to her table with the guys. Nolan says say he tried. Lucy says he’s dead to her LOL Grey announces she will be riding with Harper this week. This scene is another example of that incredible silent communication of theirs.

Lucy looks back to double check with Tim. Wanting confirmation this is true. He nods sadly at her like 'Yes you are and It’s ok.' Her face is a mixture of sadness/hurt but also trust. She knows he’s going to do what’s best for her. Even if what’s best isn’t him. I think she’s also a little confused as to why but doesn’t have time to question it any further. You’ll find out soon enough my girl.

Tim gets saddled with a ride along he didn’t approve. It’s too funny. Harper approved it knowing he would be stuck with it haha She’s grown a lot but she’s still Harper LOL Her satisfied face as she walks away is everything. Tim asks who it is? Cause he's not interested in tame calls today. (We know why) Nolan says his future daughter in law Abigail. That he actually wants to take high risk calls to scare her off. Tim smiles for first time says that’s his speciality haha

Lucy immediately asks Nyla why the switch? Sure that’s been burning a hole in her pocket since roll call. Harper gives her a simple answer. 'Tim thought she would’ve better served riding with her.' Lucy questions this. Goes off on a mini tangent saying this has to be a Tim Test. (Oh honey no. This is actually cause he cares about you. Not that your brain would think to go there honestly.)

Nyla bites back a little saying 'Do you think I would allow anyone to rope me into something like that? Especially Bradford?' haha Lucy says fair enough hehe Already their dynamic so much different this time around. More confidence on Lucy’s end. She asks again why the switch? Nyla lets her know due to her own experience she would have better insight for her. To help reintegrate her back out onto the street.

Lucy asks snarkily ‘Did you go on a date with a serial killer? ‘. Harper stumbles and says ‘Well no…’ Lucy cuts her off and says then she can’t help her with this. I think she’s still a little grumpy she’s not with Tim. She wants to take the Tim approach that she normally scolds him for. To push her emotions deep down in a box never to be opened. She then starts ranting off psychological exercises she’s been doing. Harpers face above says it all LOL Not even a little convinced that’s all she needs. Lucy finishes off with a shaky ‘I’m fine.’ Sure you are…

Harper and Lucy return to the station after helping out Angela out with an arrest. Nyla god love is her trying so hard with Lucy. Complete opposite of last time. Asks if she wants her to do paperwork? Lucy says no. Harper tells her she did a good job out there. Trying to commend her performance out in the field. Lucy is one worded again says ‘Thanks’ Harper smiles and says 'You're not gonna let me help you at all are you? Lucy reiterates that she doesn't need it. She’s fine. (You’re really not though..) Harper says ‘We’ll see.’

Lucy spots Abagail when Tim and Nolan are bringing in an arrest. She hugs her and thanks her for the basket and flowers. Tim like a moth to a flame flits over to them. Makes a classic jab at her. Says he lets her ride with Harper for half a day and now she’s hugging people on shift?

This scene is such a marriage moment. From her giving Tim crap about Abigail not buying his tough act, to him biting back that her fate isn’t in his hands like Lucy's is. (that one a little heavier for him than usual) Lucy is giving him the most wifey look as she knocks on him for his lack of bark. Damn I just love them sfm it’s insane. Look at these two clueless idiots haha Abigail ducks away to use the bathroom leaving them alone.

Tim instantly softens for her once Abigail is gone. Takes off his tough guy act to check in with her. Says he heard she dodged some bullets. Lucy asks if he’s keeping tabs on her? A smile on her face. You know she’s actually really hoping he’s doing that. It would prove to her he cares. More than you know Lucy far more than you know. He continues his marshmallow trend letting her know if she needs anything he’s there. Look at this man's face. He would do anything she needs. He's trying so hard to keep his bounds by letting Harper help her. But can't help letting her know if she does need him to just ask.

She asks for a Time Machine. His face. Sucker punch to my feels. If he could deliver that you best believe he would. What I love the most about this scene is Lucy's vulnerability. She's been fending off Harper all shift. Trying to convince her she's fine. Holding her cards very close to her chest. Two minutes with Tim that wall comes crashing down. She immediately confides in him that she isn't ok yet. That a time machine feels like the only way to fix how she is currently feeling. The sadness in both their eyes.

Her's seeking comfort from his and him wanting to fix it so badly. Trying to relay how much he wants to be able to do that for her. The immense amount of trust and comfortability they’ve built shines in this scene. She gets a stolen moment with Tim between calls and is more open with him than she’s been the entire day. Nolan and Jackson included in that. He is her safe space in so many ways. This scene truly showcases that. The emotional pull between them with those final looks. *heart clutch*

Lucy is getting changed in locker room and we see her run her fingers over the fading concealer. Wanting to cover it up it as soon as possible. She covers it up quickly when someone walks by. Harper and Angela ambush her and says she’s not going home but out with them. She’s so confused.

I love Nyla enlisting Angela on this. Says they’re gonna have a girls night. Lucy gets defensive at first and says she can’t believe Nyla is not convinced she’s ok. They do little white lie and say it's just to hang out. But if she doesn’t want to….Lucy jumps on their plan after that. Saying they've never hung out before but she's in. She asks where they’re going? A a bar? A club?

They lead Lucy to speed dating LOL It’s got some solid logic attached though. She's instantly uncomfortable. Nyla starts with saying Lucy was right. She had never gone on a date with a serial killer. Angela jumps in and adds ‘That would make anyone question their judgement.‘ Harper tells her she’ll never truly know she is fine if she can’t trust her judgement again.

That in this controlled environment she can get that back. By going through all these guys and sharpening it again. Also the song choice for this scene is perfect. 'Shaking off the rust'. Exactly what they’re trying to get her to do. She makes them do it with her. Haha They tell her that's fair enough. Angela pulls out a flask. LOL I love her.

Lucy gets started and grills the hell out of these guys. Asking if they’d submit to a full background check? If not why? Haha omg. This scene is really funny watching all their reactions. Harpers dead pan face as these guys say stupid crap is so funny. Their plan is going successfully until the final guy touches a thread on her sweater near the tattoo…

Lucy blacks out and he’s on his ass in seconds. Harper rushes over and tells Lucy it’s ok. Angela escorts the guy out quickly. Telling him. 'Maybe don’t touch a woman’s sweater without asking.' LOL How he doesn’t need to make a thing of it as she leads him out. I love them protecting her when she has a clear PTSD reaction. Harper asks what happened? Lucy doesn’t reply just looks mortified she’d done it at all. She takes off without a word. Poor thing.

Tim is none to pleased when word gets back to him about it. He asks Angela 'What the hell is Harper doing?' He took a huge leap of faith by letting Nyla do this. Angela backs her and lets him know Harper is doing this to help her. His instinctual fierce protector is coming out. Angela has to ground him a bit before he goes after Nyla. Says not to go all ‘Tim’ about this but thought he should know. He relaxes and softly asks ‘Lucy’s ok? ‘He is an absolute squishy marshmallow for her in this one and letting it show. I love it so much. Angela reassures him 'She will be.'

Lucy starts off her day saying she’s fine. It's like if she says it enough it'll be true. Smh. Harper reiterates she is not. Lucy continues on to say she was only doing what she was trained to. React quickly and subdue the threat. Harper disagrees. Replies that all the guy did was pick a piece of thread off her. That she was triggered. Lucy snaps and says ‘Yeah well what do you know about it?’ Oh Lucy. So very angry and barely keeping it in. Nyla sighs and knows she needs to share why she took Lucy on.

Just her word of being her best option isn't going to cut it. It’s here we finally find out why Harper decided she was the best option. Why sadly she could relate. The absolute sass on Lucy's face above when Harper starts her story. Like she thinks she will gain nothing from this other than a lecture. How wrong you will be. Harper begins with telling her UC you can never let go. Not even for a second. That it is physically and emotionally draining. Because you are reading through every glance.

Lucy continues the sass and replies ‘ So what you slipped up and someone figured out you were a cop?’ Nyla disregards her comment and continues. She takes a deep breath and you can see how hard this is for her to share, but she’s going to do it anyway. Tells Lucy she used to meet her case officer at a bar. It was the one place she could let go and truly be herself. Take off the mask of whoever she was at the time.

Tells her one night one beer turned into two and then she lost count. Says if it was any other scenario she would sobered up and cut herself off. But she wasn’t with the crooks she was with another cop. That she trusted him. She should’ve been safe. You can see the defensiveness from Lucy fade away as Nyla gets emotional. It’s inferred just by their looks what happened to her. Clearly he took advantage of her being drunk and violated that trust deeply. Realization washing over Lucy with tears in her eyes.

Nyla says it was a long time ago but the point was she shut down. Didn’t even tell her husband. Kept pushing her feelings down. Thinking she would just deal with them when she was ready. Lucy interjects ‘But with each week it only got worse…’

Nyla admits maybe she pushed her too hard last night, but she knows what it is like not to face things head on. Lucy takes a deep breath her words getting through. Looks like she’s holding back tears. Nyla is so sweet and supportive. Tells her she’s going to get through this. She promises. Such a good shot of them both. I talk a lot about Eric's expressions. Melissa too is incredible good at conveying so much with just a look. Written all over this scene.

Lucy NEEDED this moment. As much as Tim wanted to be this person for her he couldn’t be. Not in this capacity anyway. Nothing hits home more than someone who’s been through what you have. I commend and respect Nyla so much for doing this for her. Lucy asks what happened to her case officer? Best reply ever above. Note to self. Don’t mess with Nyla Harper. I love this woman SFM. One of the best female role models Lucy could’ve gotten post Capt. Anderson.

We roll back to Tim and Nolan in their shop. They’re ride-along free. So Tim decides to ask about Lucy. The concern just seeping out of his body. The way he grips the steering wheel while he does. Asking how she’s doing? Like really doing? Nolan tries to pass off a generic answer. Telling him she's good. Tim is deciding if he wants to call him on his BS or not. It’s written all over his face.

John sees the genuine concern on Tim’s face. Picks up on him feeling like that wasn’t enough of an answer. He amends it by saying 'Really.' Tim relaxes a little but not enough that he seems convinced. John decides to add more. Saying how once tattoo is off things will better. Like that’ll be the magical fix to all this. I mean it’s a drop in the ocean of what’s she dealing with. Tim knows that.

Why his reply schools Nolan. Questioning him on his POV of the whole thing. Asks him if he think's because its physical it somehow makes it worse? That tragedies always leave scars only some you can see. He knows that all too well. Not that Nolan will ever get an inch into that window. He gets her struggle so much more than Nolan ever would. God love John he sure tries but falls short. Just another reason why Tim is her person and Nolan never been could’ve been.

Anything that emotionally damages you leaves deep scars that take a long time to fade. I can relate to this all to well. Why I relate to Tim so deeply. I had that relentless emotional abuse growing up. Its not something you walk away with scot free. It stays with you whether you like that or not. It’s almost worse when you can’t see the scars, because people understand it less. Because there is no physical marker. Why Tim is so defensive when John pops off that the tattoo being gone will fix everything. It’s a start but nothing more than that.

We start this incredible moment with Lucy in the training room. Punching the hell out of a punching bag. Such a good parallel to the last time we were in here with 2x02. Roles very much reversed. Lucy uses her shirt to wipe her face exposing her tattoo. Tim sees this and respectfully looks away. Lucy awkwardly says ‘Hey...Hi 'His opening line is classic. Telling she’s got no quit in her does she?

He says it with so much pride though. The way he speaks about her with such reverence. I’ll never get over it. This entire scene. The pride he holds for her and this entire situation. Lucy tries to defer that to being around him. Says she gets it from him. Tim refuses to take any credit for that. Says she walked in the door that way. It’s what caught his eye in the first place. Wouldn’t be surprised if he heard about her arrest on the way in and requested her.

Here comes one of the most beautiful parts of this scene. He was about to walk away after their mini chat. Even says good night then stops himself. Hesitates for a moment before jumping into it. Some may think the best part is towards the end. When he’s telling her about her tattoo. Now that is one of my fav parts as well. It’s iconic. But I like to point out the parts that aren’t brought up as much. Tim decides just like Harper did to carve out a piece of his past. Share a piece of his soul and history with her. With the hopes it’s going to help heal her present.

Decides that is more important to do this than walk away leaving her to stew. Tim so badly wants to empathize and relate with her. God how far he’s come. The impact she’s had on this man. For him to even think to do this for her. Imma cry. I just love their development so much. Their slow burn is so well written. It’s such a beautiful thing to witness. Lucy had no idea with all her sunshine ways, empathy and understanding for his things, that she was teaching him how to be there for her emotionally. For Tim to show up for her like he does in this scene. She has awoken this portion of him and its showing.

Never be over Tim sharing a little piece of himself by telling her about his past traumas. Letting her know about the physical ones and more importantly the ones you can’t see. Telling her how they’re apart of who he is whether he likes it or not. They made him who he is now. Lucy tells him she appreciates it but it isn’t the same as what she went through. A sadist etched her day of death into her skin. S1 Tim might’ve backed off at this point. Seen her resistance to his help and tapped out.

What’s so great is he doesn’t deter from his course at all. Only strengthens what he’s going to tell her. He does what he does best. Adding some logic to his empathy. I love how fiercely he’s says his 'But you didn't die' line. So desperately wants her to understand what’s she’s overcome. How incredible he finds her resilience. How she fought to stay alive. You can see Lucy getting mad like he’s not getting it. He continues and says he’s in the ground and she isn’t. Her final words to Caleb came true. He died. She lived.

Tim backs it up with saying he isn’t telling her what to do. Which is huge for him. Also to quell her anger a bit. You can tell she is still trying hard not to continue defending her anger. He just wants her to have some perspective and possibly some peace. Which she has so earned at this point. Tells her his iconic line of how he views her tattoo. That she may choose to see it as her greatest failure. I would feel that way for sure. To have your security ripped away from you about something you felt confident about. Not only that but to have a reminder of that failure etched onto you. Never letting you forget.

He knows that she may see it as a massive failure. That she may also be worried that he views her as one because of it. Which is part of why Tim is letting her know his POV on this. Needs her to know that isn't what he sees in her at all. What Tim sees is bad ass survivor. The tattoo is proof of that. (Just like when she saw his kinesthetic learning as a strength and not a weakness) She survived something incredibly traumatic and came out the other side. Not a damn person can take that away from her. He is her fierce protector and sometimes that means protecting her from herself. Which is exactly what he's doing in this scene. She is beating herself up so much over this and he won't have it.

Her teary ‘Thanks’ is a mirror to his back in 2x02. I love it so much. He couldn’t be any cuter putting his hands in his pockets. Asking her if she’s riding with him tomorrow? Like a nervous boy asking his first girl he likes out. She laughs and smiles replies yes sir. That beautiful smile of his he reserves just for her comes out.

She needed Harper a majority of the ep no doubt. But she needed to finish strongly with a moment with Tim. To really seal the deal towards that healing. To have a deep convo with her person. Tim finally getting to be there for her the way he wanted to be the entire episode. Wonderful moment to end the episode on.

He then tosses her the ring that saved her life. (My shipper heart trying not to explode with how long he's been carrying that in his pocket.) It’s then we see the change in Lucy completely. That smile he’s been working towards this entire scene. She's in awe he kept it and returned it to her in this moment. The way these two look at each other. Said this before but if you had no context you’d think they were together already. The in love looks this scene ends with. My shipper heart is gonna implode. The heart eyes are out of control in s2 and I love it. Perfect way to end this episode.

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Side Notes-Non Chenford.

Not really anything. Jackson had his own SL separate with Angela. Otherwise it was a pretty intwined episode.

Thank you to everyone’s continue likes/comments (oh how I love the comments) and reblogs. They make every ounce of effort for these worth it. Shall see you all in 2x13 :)

#Caitlin rewatches The Rookie #chenford #chenford hiatus #summer rewatch #waiting on s6 #s2 #2x12 Now and Then #2x12 #the rookie #The rookie 2x12 #tim bradford #lucy chen #tim x lucy #lucy x tim #eric winter #melissa o'neil #otp: doing my job #otp: you know me so well. too well.#tim bradford x lucy chen

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the-banana-0verlord · 8 months ago

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1, 2, 21, 23, 25 for the oc ask meme!!!!

Thanks kei! You didnt say which ocs so im gonna do them all (when i have ideas) >:D

1.What memory would your OC rather just forget?

Lilian: it's easy, she forgot everything before nrc 😂

Marcus: it would be every memory of his parents congratulating his brother for something while he got a scolding.

Raphael: it would be when he saw hist first animal die. It was very painful when he realized his hair could not heal it.

Andric: it's when he got told he could not model again. He still regrets his freak accident.

Walter: it's (almost) his entire life. He got anxiety like that and overthinks

Dahab: he prefers to live in the present, embracing every one of his memories. After all, they shape who he is today.

2.What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?

Lilian: Honestly, looking at how small and generally noodly she is, people DEFENITELY don't expect she survived and helped defeat seven overblots, including the one of one of the strongest mages on the planet.

Marcus: Seeing how much he acts like a bully and a thug, people couldn't possibly assume he's the most straight A student who follows rules to a T(except in the terms of like. be respectful lol)

Raphael: I don't think someone would guess how pained and introverted he is deep down. He always appears with a bubbly smile, but he is way more mature than he lets on.

Andric: tbh this one is layers. he looks responsible, acts vain, but is still very much responsible. Depends on if you're observant enough.

Dahab: its not easy to guess how gentle he is with small creatures when he looks so intimidating

21.Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?

Lilian is amnesic, Andric has a limp and hip pain from a freak accident(he walks with a cane) and Walter has diagnosed anxiety.

Lilian handles it pretty well, but she has some identity crisis once in a while.

Andric's accident put an end to his model life, which caused him a lot of pain, but as a doctor physically he handles it perfectly.

Walter? He tries to stop his anxiety as much as he can. He sees a therapist once a week and has a lot of breathing techniques for his panic attacks.

23.What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

Lilian: I would say hatred. Lilian is a naive, trusting person who tries to see the good in people. It takes a lot to anger her, and even more to make them hate you. And when she expresses it, it's mostly by ignoring the person.

Marcus: Genuine regret and saying sorry lol??? Dude is pure spite and is NOT self-aware.

Raphael: Like Lilian, he's a naturally good-willed person. While he wishes to be alone most of the time, he doesn't hate easily. He rather resignates himself.

Walter: Honestly, he has trouble with genuine happiness. His anxiety always come to hunt him down and make him overthink, so he's very closed off.

Dahab: Dahab is extremely stubborn, so making him admit he was wrong is difficult. He will struggle to show remorse because he thinks all he does is right.

25.What is your favorite thing about your OC?

Lilian: Honestly, she's my first twst OC and my self-insert, so I'm way more attached to her. I think I like how she's basically me but better.

Marcus: i like to picture him as a tsundere boyfailure i love this side of him.

Raphael: I think i like the hobbies i gave him and his aspirations clashing with what people expect of him. It adds some depth.

Andric: second first twst oc, i like how ive made him into a father. Also he's basically the most reliable teacher in NRC.

Walter: I like his unique magic. Imo its the most original of the bunch.

Dahab: i find his tendency to bury himself hilarious. Like you could trip and think its a rock or something bur no its his head.

Tagging: @iabsolutelylovedragons @xen-blank @thehollowwriter (please tell me if you want to be added or removed from the tag list!!)

#bananawrites #banana's moots #bananaanswersasks #andric gothel #lilian gothel #marcus corona #raphael corona #dahab el-nemr #twst walter white #twst oc #twisted wonderland oc #twisted wonderland

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sapphireginger · 2 years ago

Text

Title: Heart of a Hero: Chapter #3

Pairing: Steo [Stiles Stilinski + Theo Raeken]

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 2,845

Warnings:

Minor Character Death (Briefly Mentioned) Mpreg Off Screen Childbirth

Full AO3 Link

Summary:

The healing isn’t hard physically, although Luka hates that he can’t play soccer yet. He’s very sulky about it and Stiles understands. It’s probably why the omega got his son a soccer video game to play to at least give him something close to it.

Mental healing on the other hand isn’t easy and the stress of it almost leads Stiles to being hospitalized when they have a scare about the baby. After that, Stiles, had managed to do a few shifts, before being put on bed rest for the remaining two months of his pregnancy.

Theo is patient with his mate’s impatience. He withstands the emotional roller coaster lobbed at him every single day and works hard to make sure his mate knows how much Theo loves him.

Created For: @afgomegaversebingo / Square Filled: Clothes Sharing

Throughout the night things are pretty calm for the most part and Theo stays awake. He can’t sleep anyway even though he’s exhausted. It’s around two in the morning when his mate suddenly sits up and looks around. He startles when Theo’s hand touches his arm and stares at the appendage as if it offended him before pushing it away and slowly standing up.

Theo can only watch in confusion as his mate stalks over to the hamper of dirty laundry and starts sniffing each one, searching for something. He doesn’t find it though and after pausing a moment, he whimpers.

“What is it sweetheart?” Theo whispers.

Stiles whines and walks over to tug on Theo’s pants and tilts his head to look at the ceiling. Two floors above them is the master bedroom. “Okay. I’ll get them. I’ll be right back.”

With a purr, Stiles scents Theo and curls up around his pups once more.

It’s a quick trip to the bedroom to retrieve what his mate needs, and Theo is back in the basement in less than ten minutes.

A soft snarl sounds but it’s a happy purr that releases any tension the alpha felt. Long arms stretch out and snag the shirts as Stiles sets about settling more of his instincts.

Luka is soon naked except for boxers but then Stiles growls and removes those too. He slips one of Theo’s shirts from the pile, gets his scent all over it and then puts the shirt on his eldest son. The same process is repeated with Leo and then Laiken, all three pups now swimming in their dad’s t-shirts. As soon as the boys are changed, Stiles snarls at the old clothing. Theo quickly removes it and the omega purrs at him.

Unfortunately, Theo isn’t allowed back in until he too changes once Stiles has changed himself.

In the process of removing his shirt, Theo startles when a wet feeling hits his stomach, and his abs tighten in surprise. The alpha looks down, his shirt now off and tosses it with the old clothes. With bright red eyes he sees his mate nuzzling and nipping at him. The wet feeling was the omega’s tongue.

For once, Theo doesn’t resist the manhandling of his omega, knowing that in this state, Stiles is stronger than he is anyway.

Within a half hour of waking up, all five of the Stilinski-Raeken family members are in Theo’s clothes, doused in Stiles’s scent and once again sound asleep, though much closer together this time.

Theo can admit to himself as he drifts off that he’s grateful for Stiles’s instincts. He hadn’t noticed the scent was bothering him and making him restless until it was removed. Now, he too can rest.

»•»🔥«•« »•»🚑«•«

Their routine is pretty much the same for another week, their friends and family coming and going but never interfering. It takes a lot out of Stiles to be so on guard, but Theo doesn’t leave his side unless it’s to get them food and water. He even manages to get his mate to let him bathe their pups. Theo is immensely grateful for Lydia’s insistence on a basement bathroom.

Eight days after returning from the hospital, Stiles’s ears are gone as are his fangs and claws, but his eyes are still glowing constantly.

Leo and Laiken are upset that their brother is sleeping but Theo does his best to distract them.

“Wuka sa’e me, Da,” Leo whispers, looking at his brother. “Why no wake u’?”

Theo tries to smile and pulls his second oldest son into his arms. “He’s resting, pup. He got hurt and has to get better before he can wake up.”

“Bu’ Wuka wake up soo’?”

“I hope so. How about we play a game?”

Leo sniffles and nods. “Otay. I twy.”

Theo nods. “Okay. I spy something…”

»•»🔥«•« »•»🚑«•«

When the two week mark arrives since the family came home from the hospital, Theo is starting to worry but if anything, Stiles looks like himself once more. He still just isn’t speaking. The omega’s eyes aren’t glowing anymore but it’s like their places are reversed now. Whereas Theo is on alert, Stiles is completely relaxed.

Theo learns why that is at midnight the night of the two week mark.

“Dad’y?” a voice croaks.

Theo snaps his head towards his mate and pups to see bright eyes staring at Stiles. “Luka,” he whispers.

Luka’s eyes stay on his daddy, and he tilts his head. “You saved me, Daddy.” His voice gets a little stronger. “You’re my hero.”

Acknowledging the fact that Stiles and Luka will always have a stronger bond because of the four nearly five years they had together without Theo sometimes hurts the alpha but, in this moment, the hurt is the last thing on his mind. Especially when Stiles—“My little monkey is okay.” The omega’s voice is raw from disuse, but Theo is too relieved by the fact that his mate is actually speaking to care how it sounds.

The scent of salt permeates the air as Stiles hauls his son into his lap and rocks him back and forth. The tears are in Stiles’s eyes, Luka’s eyes and in Theo’s eyes, eliciting whimpers from their remaining two pups who are still asleep.

Stiles cups Luka’s face and sniffles. “You’re okay.”

“I’m okay, Daddy.”

“I was so scared,” Stiles says, his voice cracking as he starts sobbing and cradles Luka as close as possible. The emotions swirling around them are enough to wake Leo and Laiken.

Leo is the first to notice the change. “WUKA!!!” he cries out and starts crying as he clings to his brother.

“Hey, braciszek,” Luka says softly and manages to pull Leo closer. He wraps his arms around Leo protectively.

“You is otay. Da’dy sa’e you!” Leo says.

Luka smiles softly and winces only slightly when Leo’s head rests against his stomach. “Daddy saved me, you're right. He is my hero.”

Leo’s eyes widen slightly, and he looks up at his big brother with awe. “Wuka?”

“Hm?”

“You ma hewo,” the younger of the two says with a small smile.

More salt joins the scent of the nest as Luka latches onto his brother with a choked off sob.

Theo moves closer, scooping up Laiken who makes grabby hands for his daddy. Stiles clears his throat and takes Laiken, settling the pup on his hip, his other arm around Luka who now has a lap full of Leo. Amber eyes meet blue eyes, and a quirked brow is all it takes for Theo to join.

The small family clings to each other so tightly, the knowledge of what they almost lost eliciting more tears, and the relief that the horror didn’t come to pass, overwhelming them.

By the time the tears slow and the breathing of all five evens out, the sun is just peeking over the horizon.

That is how Lydia, Isaac, Allison and Jordan find the family. Lydia and Jordan have been taking care of the legalities while Allison and Isaac have taken care of the medical side of things. Erica and Brett are picking up groceries to restock the kitchen and pantry.

The group of friends even spoke with the fire chief, which resulted in a very worried Jackson and Liam until Isaac had talked to them about what happened. All the bosses are now aware of what happened and gave both Theo and Stiles paid leave. This way, when the family comes upstairs, they won’t have to worry about cleaning, cooking or anything else other than bonding as a family.

»•»🔥«•« »•»🚑«•«

Ten after their return from the hospital, the five members of the Stilinski-Raeken family emerge from the basement to a spotless house and a kitchen full of groceries, and cooked meals. Their friends had taken care of everything that needed to be done.

Stiles is overwhelmed and immediately calls Isaac. “You are fucking amazing you asshole. I love you!”

Isaac chuckles wetly. “It was my pleasure to help. You know that I’ll always be there to help and right now the last thing you guys need to worry about is cooking and cleaning.”

“This weekend can you guys come over and we’ll celebrate?”

“Of course! It’s important to celebrate Luka’s survival.”

Stiles sniffles. “Definitely. I–” Stiles cuts off and chews his lip. “I’m going to tell them about…”

“About the baby?”

“Yeah,” Stiles whispers, his eyes locked on Theo who nods with a smile. “I’ll talk to you later Izzy. Okay?”

“Okay,” Isaac says. “I love you. Hug my godsons for me?”

“Always. Bye, Izzy.”

“Bye, Kit.”

»•»🔥«•« »•»🚑«•«

With some homemade lasagna settled in their bellies and the sleepiness brushed from their eyes, Stiles and Theo sit their boys down on the master bed to talk to them.

“What’s wrong?” Luka asks, his fingers carding through Leo’s hair. Said boy’s head is never far from resting on Luka’s stomach protectively.

Stiles sucks in a breath and says, “We almost lost you and I went feral. I couldn’t let you die though and so I-I bit you. At that moment, nothing else mattered to me. When I woke up from that fog of instinct only thinking and acting, I realized that if we had lost you, you never would have known.” His hand rests on his stomach.

Luka notices and gasps softly. “Daddy are you…?”

“Mhm.”

“Oh my gosh,” Luka whispers. He tears up and carefully maneuvers himself towards his daddy’s swollen belly. Theo sits behind Stiles, his hands cupping the swell protectively.

Luka smiles as he places his hand gently next to his dad’s hands. Leo makes a small protest at being jostled but settles, watching curiously.

“Wha’ ooin’ Wuka?”

“I’m saying hello.”

Leo’s nose scrunches up. “Hewo to who?”

Luka takes Leo’s hand and guides it to Stiles’s stomach. “A baby.”

That makes Leo gasp and sit up with wide eyes. “Dad’y pegnen?”

Stiles chuckles softly at the awe in his son’s voice and the happiness in Luka’s eyes. “Yes. Daddy’s pregnant.”

“Boy or girl?” Luka asks, chewing his lip.

Theo hooks his chin over Stiles’s shoulder and smiles. “We don’t know yet. Daddy is only about three months along. We have to wait a little longer to find out. What do you think?”

Leo tilts his head. “A ‘oy!”

Luka pouts slightly but shakes his head. “No. I think it’s a girl. I hope it’s a girl.”

The two mates exchange a knowing look and smile. They’ve known for a while how badly Luka wants a baby sister. Stiles hopes when he delivers, he can…well…deliver.

»•»🔥«•« »•»🚑«•«

The weekend arrives before they know it and things have leveled out pretty quickly. There are still moments when Stiles will pace the halls at night and sometimes, he won’t sleep but it’s getting better.

The time spent with their friends is something the two mates and their pups desperately need. Stiles gets scented repeatedly and both his sister Lydia and his best friend Isaac rarely part from him the entire day.

Stiles learns the shooter was killed and something in the way his mate smiles, tells him just who is responsible for said death. He walks over to the alpha and whispers in his ear. “Did you make him suffer?”

Theo shivers and snarls softly, his arms encircling the omega’s waist. He brings his lips to Stiles’s ear and whispers, “Worse than death and then I gave him that too.”

That night, after the pups are in bed is the first time Stiles feels such a deep, desperate and primal want for his mate since the shooting. It’s rough, fast and perfect, leaving them to collapse in a pile of tangled limbs on their bed after doing a cursory clean up.

Luckily, they manage to put on boxers, thus they are covered when their three children pop into their room before the sun is up. The two mates open their arms, and the children quickly take the opening. Theo and Stiles exchange a soft kiss, kiss the foreheads of their pups and fall asleep.

»•»🔥«•« »•»🚑«•«

Theo is patient with his mate’s impatience. He withstands the emotional roller coaster lobbed at him every single day and works hard to make sure his mate knows how much Theo loves him.

»•»🔥«•« »•»🚑«•«

When they get to the homestretch, with only a week left, Luka is able to practice scoring goals in the backyard. Leo watches with loud claps that Laiken starts to copy. Stiles gets to go outside since it’s not too hot and because Theo carried him out.

After everything that happened, the emergency pile up, the fire, the shooting, Luk being shot and the scare of almost losing their unborn baby, Stiles hops and prays there will be no more of such things.

Unfortunately, he got one more thing thrown at him but at least it wasn’t a bad thing. It does push him over the edge emotionally though as he soaks the lawn chair. “Th-The-Th-ALPHA?!” he cries out.

Theo’s eyes widen and he quickly leaps into action. Within minutes the pups are secure in their car seats. Leo and Laiken are in the backseat. Luka is in the middle seat while Stiles is in the passenger seat and Theo is in the driver’s seat. Soon they are racing towards the hospital. They have a new pup to bring into the world.

»•»🔥«•« »•»🚑«•«

Allison cradles Laiken in her arms, the pup having dozed off around hour five. Leo is curled up in Lydia’s lap while Luka matches Isaac’s pacing up and down the hallway.

Hour twelve arrives and there’s no news yet from anyone but Erica and Brett show up just before hour thirteen. Erica relieves Allison, taking Laiken who blinks up at her sleepily, while Jordan takes over Leo for Lydia, who gets coffee for everyone.

Finally, just after hour sixteen, Theo emerges with a huge smile on his face. “Boys?”

Luka, Leo and Laiken look at their dad with wide eyes, unable to stop their smiles.

Theo gestures for them to come closer, taking Laiken from Erica. “Come meet your siblings.”

None of the adults miss the plural usage and all gape in surprise. Lydia pulls out her phone and immediately starts ordering one more of nearly everything. Erica leans into Brett’s embrace while Allison grins, her dimples standing out, making Isaac go doe eyed.

They all wait with bated breath for their turn.

»•»🔥«•« »•»🚑«•«

When the boys reach the room, Theo opens the door and Stiles looks up with a soft smile. Luka is the first one into the room, but he hangs back. Leo however walks right up to the bed.

“Come here, monkey,” Stiles says to his eldest son.

Slowly, Luka comes closer to the bed and when his eyes alight on the small bundles, one in each of his daddy’s arms, he starts to cry. There, wrapped in pink blankets with pink caps, are two baby girls.

Stiles smiles, tears slipping down his cheeks. “You have two new baby sisters, boys.”

Luka beams, chuckling wetly and slowly scents them. “What are their names?” he asks softly.

Theo comes closer, settling Laiken on his hip and helps Leo onto the bed. “This little one…” he starts, gently running his finger down the cheek of the baby in Stiles’s left arm. “…is Meadowlark Stilinski-Raken. This little one…” He repeats the gentle caress on the cheek of the baby in Stiles’s right arm. “…is Gwendolyn Stilinski-Raeken.”

Luka carefully joins his siblings on the bed and gasps softly when Meadowlark, who they have nicknamed Meadow, is placed in his arms. He cradles her head like he did with Leo and Laiken when they were born.

Theo helps Leo hold Gwendolyn, whom they have nicknamed Gwen, and while the hospital bustles and people outside go about their lives, time stands still for the family of seven.

Almost a decade ago, Stiles, a hero, gave birth to Luka, a boy with the heart of a hero. Through the loss of a mate bond, an alphaless pregnancy and a reunion of two true mates, through the birth of two more children, through the addition of family by marriage and mating, through the horror and terror of that fateful morning nearly seven months ago, and through every single night and day, up and down, one thing has been consistent.

No matter what they have faced before, face now or will face in the future, nothing will stand against the fierce love of the Stilinski-Raekens and the heart of a hero that they each possess.

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matchademi · 1 year ago

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5, 9, 21, 23, 25 Falls, Tic, and Sooool plssss vod’ikaaaa 💙💙💙 (no rush tho)

How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

Falls:he is so selfless that he would happily give up his own life for his brothers. He has, on a few occasions, given his own blood to brothers while working to keep them alive. He is gotten scolded by his brothers in the 501st and the Corrie guard for this, but he doesn't care

Tic: If he could tear apart the galaxy together his old battalion back he would in a heart beat, he would be considered a deserter risk when he first joined the Corrie guard

Sol: he would happily volunteer himself for decommissioning if it meant he could stop it from happening permanently. He would never tell anyone this but he has threated to several times

Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

Falls:pretty much the entire song, but this line specifically

"Called to the Devil and the Devil said

Hey! Why you been calling this late?

It's like 2 A.M. and the bars all close at 10 in hell, that's a rule I made

Anyway, you say you're too busy saving everybody else to save yourself

And you don't want no help, oh well

That's the story to tell"

Tic: This makes me think of his grief of losing his battalion

"But i know wounds will heal

But it's hard for me to tell what's fake and what's real

Sometimes i even think that i died that day

And i'm imagining my life and it's stuck on replay"

Sol:we all know the song I think about for him, but it's this line specifically

"I hear Jerusalem bells a-ringin'

Roman Cavalry choirs are singin'

Be my mirror, my sword and shield

My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason, I can't explain

Once you'd gone, there was never, never an honest word

And that was when I ruled the world"

Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?

Fall:As I said, he gets really bad migraines after removing his chip, but honestly, his biggest issue is his ADHD. He has the inattentive type, so he'll either not do anything for hours or spend days hyper focusing on something

Tic:he deals with tics (not like tourettes but just small tics. I deal with them a lot), and after losing his battalion, he ended up with a trauma induced stutter, and his tics get worse

Sol:Not so many illnesses or disorders, but his knee injury really starts to get worse as time goes on. After he left Kamino, he would need crunches and a leg bracefor years. He hates it but if he trys to go without them he gets screamed at

What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

Honestly, for me, this is a one answer fits all (plus I spent like 10 minutes looking at lists of emotions, but I'm autistic so I don't really understand them oop) and that is feeling safe (idk if that's a emotion but let's all roll with it) they have all gone through their own personal hells and so feeling safe is not easy for any of them. Tic is the most obvious after losing his battalion he will for a long time feel like he will lose everyone he cares for again after joining the corrie guards. Falls has had to always look over his shoulder and be one of the best to avoid decommissioning. And Sol never fully released he felt so unsafe on Kamino till he left

What is your favorite thing about your OC?

Falls:he was my first clone oc in this Fandom, and he allowed me to connect to a lot of other people. Also, his kindness and willingness to help others, even if it's out of his comfort zone

Tic:he is me in a lot of ways with the stuttering and ticking, and it's nice to have a character to show that part of me

Sol:he is just pure sunshine (also, he shows now love for kids, especially my nephews )

#clone medic falls #oc:trooper tic #oc:commander sol #clone medic oc #clone trooper oc #clone commander oc #star wars #the clone wars #i love them so much AHH

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noliarayburn · 2 years ago

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Full Name: Magnolia Rayburn

Nicknames: Nolia (preferred name), Nola

Pronouns/Gender: she/her, ciswoman

Age: 37

Birthday: April 10, 1985

Hometown: Houston, Tx

How long have they been in town?: 20 years

Occupation: Real Estate Agent

BIOGRAPHY:

Triggers: drunk driving, car accident, child death, grief

Nothing good lasts forever.

A mantra that’s been drilled into her head from a young age. She’d gotten separated from her family as a child and ended up in the system. Her sibling had gotten adopted and moved away with their new family. Magnolia was left behind and proceeded to bounce from foster family to foster family. It seemed like every time she found a good and stable placement, she was removed and placed somewhere else.

Her home life didn’t affect her grades. She was always towards the top of her classes. She would receive praises for her grades but did get in trouble for her attitude. She hated being called Magnolia (she goes by Nolia) and it was an easy wound for kids to pick at. She always fought back: with her words and fists. But her greatest joy came from showing other people up by beating them in test grades, racing, tag, whatever. She hated to lose.

It was somewhat of a miracle she graduated from high school. She just barely managed not to get expelled with all her shenanigans. Even though she was highly intelligent, she never felt like college was necessarily for her. And with aging out of the system, she was pretty much on her own. The day after her 18th birthday she was on her own, with only a small stipend to try and help her get settled somewhere else. Her original plan was to make it to California. She used the money she had to take buses as far West as she could get. It was just her luck that she ran out of money in Las Rio, NM.

She had enough to pay for a motel for a week and she ended up with a waitressing job in a local diner. She planned to save enough that she could make the rest of her journey, but that dream ended up changing. She met someone while working that would change her life. This person was a real estate agent who had recently opened their own firm. They saw a real hunger and potential in Nolia and knew she had what it takes to make it in their industry. They gave her the one thing she needed most: a chance.

Nolia started off as their assistant and shadowed them on their real estate deals and she fell in love with the life. Her mentor helped her with her studies and she passed the licensure to become an agent herself. It wasn’t easy. She took awhile before she sold her first home, but once she found her groove she just took off. She’d been able to make a very successful life for herself, a true rags to riches story.

Along the way, she met the love of her life. She never really saw herself as the marrying type but they were in a happy relationship for several years before she became pregnant. Only then did she feel like she wanted to be married to complete the family. It felt like life had finally settled for her. She had her husband, her son, and a career she loved. The old paranoid saying had been forgotten about.

One person’s drunken mistake would take it all away from her.

The death of her son rocked Nolia to her core. It felt like a piece of herself was gone. And she felt angry. She’d gotten herself together, made something of her life, she was finally genuinely happy and then it was taken away. She was so furious and she took it out on the person closest to her: her husband. He wanted them to heal together but she was not ready. They fought and fought and eventually for his own sake he left. At that point, she felt so numb she couldn’t even acknowledge that additional loss.

It’s been 2 years since the loss of her child and she has made little to no progress in the grieving process. She wasn’t sleeping, her work was suffering, and she had no idea what the state of her marriage was. It felt like it would be a betrayal for her to move on with her life, but she also knew she can’t keep living this way.

Quick Facts

+ intelligent, loyal, witty, - competitive, petty, arrogant

always in a pair of heels (red bottoms ofc)

runs on coffee and pure determination

has a real problem sleeping, insomnia and nightmares are one hell of a mixture

loves a glass of red wine as much a cold beer

Prior to the upending in her life, she was the top earner at her brokerage firm. With her inability to focus, lack of sleep, and general disinterest in everything; she was let her work rival gain on her. She is at jeopardy of losing her number 1 spot.

Enjoys a good argument, really gets her blood flowing

#bio

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hotcheetooo · 6 months ago

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Pic of the Day #6 | little cutie tattoos

sucha dreamer for fine line tattoos. i love the daintiness so so so much. oof. even though they're tiny, it still makes a cute little impact. i sometimes forget about the tattoos on my body but when i see it in the mirror, i like the special reminders of them.

the dream though is to get my hands pretty coveredschmothered in fine line tattoos (sorry mom and dad.) it reminds me of dainty jewelry pieces that i can wear in the shower and won't get rusty. kek. + each serves as a special little place for my mental.

"peace be with you"

grief, anger, and rage are homies. pride is another emotion that becomes the catalyst for the other three. the entire event of which it all stems from is what i think is trauma. this is a reminder for me to watch inside out again cause i love how they broke down emotions and showcase how little kids manage old and new emotions. this process will never be perfect for me. it's ongoing + something i needa work on for the rest of my life. but i promised myself to not turn cynical. and while all these emotions co-exist, i'm trying to put peace on top of the pile. i'm an imperfect person constantly being changed by God and TRYING to emit gratefulness because of it. (hence this daily journal.) buuut, peace be with you is a reminder of 2 things:

i talked about low maintenance friends recently because friendship circles change and mold. some stay or leave for a season/reason. friendship breakups also are a thing. they hurt and it's not great hiigh feelings but they happen. what i've come to remind myself is while it's easier for me to talk smack and remove people i don't think are necessarily easy to be with (or what my pride likes to say deserve my attention), that doesn't mean less respect or love for them. in every relationship and friendship break up, i always end it with this truth: while we can't be in each other's lives, this sendoff still means wanting what's best for that other person and sending love from afar. so peace be with you - no matter who that person is - is wishing anyone that peace. everyone is loved. any person i encounter, i wish them more than just happiness but a reminder of peace.

it also stands as a reminder for me. i can get caught up in those emotions like grief, anger, or rage but it doesn't serve me in ultimate healing. if i depend on those emotions -it just makes me more secluded and resentful. it births other emotions like hate, jealousy, and sadness. whenever i feel those feelings, i can feel it in my throat and stomach - my body tenses up and i can feel my temper shoot up. peace be with you is something i can look at and remind myself "okay breathe, these other emotions while familiar and sometimes uncomfortable - give it its space, recognize it and go for a walk." i have to calm my ass down and let em run its course. but again, rewiring my brain to remember i am loved, and i have His peace.

you're doing great, Kristine. everybody is a bit complicated. our Creator knows that. But you have His peace.

peace out!

#fine line #tiny tattoos #hand tattoo #peace be with you

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barbaramoorersm · 1 year ago

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September 17. 2023

September 17, 2023

Twenty-Fourth Sunday in Ordinary Time

Sirach 27:30-28:7

The author makes a powerful case for forgiveness.

Psalm 103

The psalmist describes God’s forgiveness

Romans 14: 7-9

Paul reminds the Romans to whom they belong.

Matthew 18: 21-35

Matthew’s parable today also speaks about forgiveness.

Forgiveness is so visibly present in our readings today.

I am sure we can all call to mind the forgiveness others have extended to you. It offers us such a relief, and the removal of a weight on our hearts.

I remember a careless mistake I made with an e-mail I sent when I chaired the Mercy Board, and our beloved Sue Johnson, Mercy’s President, was so kind to me. But I carried the guilt for a long time. We have all been there either asking for forgiveness or receiving it.

The parable in today’s Gospel is a heart wrenching one. We might ask why did the servant get into so much debt? It is clear he had no way of paying it back. We think of families these days who struggle to pay their bills and their credit is so damaged. College loans wight heavily on many. And then we are told about folks who misuse government covid money or steal another’s identity.

Imagine the call today’s debtor receives from the King, and the embarrassment he faces and when his behavior is exposed. The scene is a hard one to think about. The debtor faces his own personal sale as well as that of his family and children. Imagine the future that awaits the whole family. Wife and children who may have been so innocent. The image reminds us of places and times in our nation when slaves were bought and sold and separated from their spouses and children. No matter the reason for the servant’s choices, his punishment was painful.

All these actions are is set into sharp contrast on many levels to the next two phases of the story. The King responds to the servant’s plight and note, forgives the whole debt. The text tells us, “…he was moved with compassion.” Was it the wife or children that changed his mind or just a compassionate heart?

Why did the servant ignore what had happed to him and treat his fellow servant in a manner that was just rejected by his master? Obviously, his fellow servant heard about the Masters’ generosity and hoped to be a recipient of such kindness. But, the forgiven debtor began to “choke” his “fellow” servant. A co-worker! What a contrast to his own story.

This parable is loaded with messages. To whom in the story do we relate? What message is Jesus trying to share with Peter’s question and with us? “How often must I forgive?”

The Gospel parable does not ask us to forget harm done to us or even to excuse it, but to seek the grace to forgive the person who has harmed us. The ancient Old Testament Book of Sirach advises us “Could anyone refuse mercy to another like himself, can he seek pardon for his own sins?”

I believe “Love of neighbor” does not mean we excuse the hurt or harm done to us but try to understand and remember the many ways we have been forgiven. Forgiveness does not mean we ignore what has happened. It does mean that we refuse to respond to our hurt by hurting the other. The Psalmist confirms this view when he writes, “God pardons all our iniquities and heals all your ills.”

These massages are not easy for any of us. Ancient words ring true today. “Think of the commandments, hate not your neighbor; remember the Most High’s covenant and overlook faults.” (Sirach) These words are difficult as we look around us and see so much suffering, lies, and abuse of others. May we ask for God’s grace to at least begin the process. To seek forgiveness where we need to, and try to forgive those who have deeply hurt us. “Forgave your neighbor’s injustice.” (Sirach)

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lasriohq · 2 years ago

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Full Name: Magnolia “Nolia” Rayburn

Face Claim: Aja Naomi King

Pronouns/Gender: she/her, cisgender

Birthday: April 10, 1985

Birthplace: Houston, Tx

How long have they been in town?: 20 years

Occupation: Real Estate Agent

Family: Son - Nico (2014-2020), Husband (wc)

Biography:

Trigger warnings: drunk driving, car accident, child death, grief

Nothing good lasts forever.

One person’s drunken mistake would take it all away from her.

Connections:

Estranged Husband: The death of their son has pulled them apart. They were fighting so much that he left a year ago, only just recently returning. There’s still a lot of love between them, but they have not spoken and their relationship has been at a standstill.

Mentor: The owner of a real estate brokerage who took the young woman under their wing. A pseudo-parental figure

Best Friend: Her ride or die. They bonded in their late teens/early 20s and have been in each other's lives ever since. The Meredith to Nolia’s Cristina.

#Magnolia Rayburn #taken #taken:f

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write-nerdy-to-me · 4 years ago

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~ destiel fic, hurt/comfort, 1k words, for @castielsdisciple

“Be still,” Dean murmurs to Cas when he flinches away again. He’s tried to minimize how much he pokes and digs, knowing what a bitch it is to be on the business end of pliers, but he can’t help that some of the shards are buried deep. He waits patiently as Cas takes a large swallow from the whiskey bottle he’s clutched like a lifeline, then Dean picks out yet another broken glass piece and drops it into the cup next to his hip.

It couldn’t have just been a cut-and-dry D-list case, because life — this life especially — doesn't work like that. It was inevitable for shit to go sideways on them, and it’s laughable, fucking inane Dean ever dared to think otherwise. (“Good things do happen, Dean,” Cas said to him once. Dean’s still not convinced that's true.)

Dean doesn’t know what it is about Cas, but the monster, like, fixated on him. The whole night, no matter how hard Dean fought to get the ugly bastard's attention, it kept going after Cas. Then monster grabbed and fucking bodily tossed him out the window and let out a roar that felt like it shook the whole house; Dean's only felt his heart leap into his throat like that a few times. He didn't get time to even process what happened because the monster, having taken out one opponent, turned and advanced on him. Dean had to finish the job alone, not knowing if Cas was even still alive. He ran to find Cas lying on a patch of wood chips, shattered glass surrounding him like a halo. Those few short moments felt like several lifetimes as he slid to his knees next to Cas, who was winded and aching and breathing. ("You alive?" Dean asked, and Cas huffed out a pained laugh and flipped him the bird. "Yeah — yeah, you're alive, you asshole.")

Dean could swear that Cas has a deathwish or something because the reckless motherfucker refused to be checked out at the hospital. Dean insisted that he needed to go, as only so much could be done with the sparse supplies they had. They argued, and in the end, Cas’ stubborn glare won out. If he was gonna be like that, then Dean figured the sooner they get a move on and save Cas from his own bullheaded stupidity, the better. The last thing they need is Cas getting an infection. And the way he climbed into the Impala, slow, graceless, hiding his winces and grinding his teeth, only further proved that they should head to the hospital, but Dean held his tongue.

The ride back to the motel was, to say the least, unpleasant. In their room, it’s not much better.

For the past hour now, Dean’s painstakingly removed a myriad of embedded glass and wood shards from Cas’ back, wiped away the blood, and applied ice to the welts that have already turned angry and dark. Cas hasn’t said a word since their fight— that disagreement back at the old farmhouse, but Dean's talked plenty for the both of them. He’s lost count of how many times he’s repeated this mantra: Be still, be still. How many times it’s followed by tiny plinks of glass and wood into a plastic cup. Dean would think Cas finds it patronizing — insulting, even — if it weren’t for the way the coiled tension in Cas’ shoulders starts to ease whenever he speaks. If it makes this process easier for him… well, then who’s Dean to deny him?

“Be still. I know, I know. I’m sorry.” Another glass piece. Plink.

The A/C unit in the corner kicks over with a wheeze. Cas says, “I don’t deserve this,” in a voice so hushed Dean would’ve missed it if he wasn’t sitting right behind him.

Dean’s hands stop, just for a moment. Plink, plink. “What are you talking about?”

Cas sighs. “I don’t deserve this. Your attention, your care, your lo—” He cuts himself off, arms coming around his middle and shoulders hunching away from Dean’s hands. A soft hiss escapes his lips as the motion tugs sharply at his wounds. He sounds like wishes he could take back the words the second they leave his mouth and hates himself for it. “Your kindness. I don’t deserve it.”

How could Cas think so little of himself? Believe himself so unworthy that he shouldn’t even receive the most basic care? But Dean gets it, maybe more than Cas realizes. “That’s bullshit,” Dean says mildly. Plink.

“Dean...” Cas starts to shift further away from him, and that won’t do, because he needs to listen, needs to hear what Dean’s telling him, and he won’t if he’s already sinking into himself.

“Don’t, I’m not finished,” Dean admonishes quietly. “I’m serious. Don’t move.” He touches Cas’ waist and— and he just stills with a shaky breath. If this were any other time, Dean would dwell on how Cas caves at the slightest touch initiated from him, how he always just lets him.

When it seems like Cas isn’t on the verge of bolting, Dean says, “I know there's something about this case that got to you bad — don’t think I didn’t notice, man.” Hunts aren't easy, and unexpected bodies turning up are never something a good hunter takes lightly, but Cas seemed to take each one like a devastating blow. Dean tried to press Cas about it, and he shook off Dean’s worry and pretended that everything was fine. Dean doesn't have to be a good hunter to know Cas was lying. “Why won’t you talk to me?”

Cas turns his face away. “There’s nothing to talk about.” A beat. Then, “I think you’d be better off hunting with Sam again.”

The fuck? Taken aback, heat starts to crawl up Dean’s face. Part of him wants to be angry — hell, he kinda is, underneath the hurt — but he takes a breath and lets it out slowly, for once grateful Cas is facing the other way. “I like hunting with you. Besides, Sam's got his club going on, and anything with Eileen he likes to be involved.”

“Maybe you should have a different partner. One that doesn’t fuck up.”

“Everyone fucks up,” Dean says defensively. “Cas, if this is about what you did, you’re already forgiven for that—”

But Cas isn’t listening. The dam's busted open. “I’m supposed to— I used to be an angel. My powers, I could... I could help you, I could help Sam, but now I can’t — I can’t even do that.” Cas covers his face with his hands, rakes them roughly up through his hair. “I’m — I’m useless.”

Dean’s heart clenches sharply. He knew that the fading powers and subsequent loss of them had been hard on Cas, but Dean didn’t know it was affecting him this badly. Then he feels like an asshole, because of course this was, for fuck's sake. “Cas…”

Cas turns around, winces as he moves too quickly. He touches Dean’s face with gentle, hesitant fingers. There are scrapes and cuts Dean hasn’t taken care of yet, too occupied with making sure Cas doesn’t get a damn infection. Cas’ eyes grow sad; his brow furrows. “I miss— With a touch, I could heal you. I wouldn’t need you to care for me this — this way.”

“Cas, man, you gotta know that it’s never been about your powers. You’re not a-a tool, Cas. All I want— It’s just you. I told you, man. I’d rather have you. Nothing’s ever gonna change that.”

Cas is quiet for a minute. “Your faith... I've always admired it. How you put your trust in people. You're a good man, Dean."

"Yeah, well." Dean clears his throat. "Gotta make up for all the bad shit I've done, right?"

Cas hums, unconvinced. He grabs the damp rag that held the ice, shaking out the remaining pieces. He doesn’t seem to care where the ice landed. "Let me?"

Dean almost says no, he's fine, but something in the way Cas looks at him... "Okay."

Cas wipes away the dried blood on Dean's face. Lately, he and Cas would be arguing, if they weren’t busy giving each other the cold-shoulder. It’s not the first time they’ve been at opposite ends or had disagreements — Dean refuses to say they bickered — not by a long shot. It’s just... been a while. Dean thought they were past petty fights. Now, though, they fall into a comfortable silence, for once not thick with tension from the unsaid.

Cas’ thumb traces over the scar on Dean's chin, and he says, a hopeless look in his eye, "I love you. Did you know that?"

Dean just breathes and touches Cas' wrist. "Cas..."

"You don't have to say anything. I just thought you should know."

Dean tugs the rag out of Cas' hand. His mind is taking a second to reboot. But he knows — he knows he needs to kiss Cas right now. "C’mere," he mumbles and cups Cas' face between his palms and presses their mouths together. When they separate to breathe, Dean says, “It’s always you, Cas. You know that.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“I love you.” The smile Cas gives him is soft and crooked and still sad. Dean’s not stupid; he knows things with Cas are rocky at best, but it’s a start. “Now turn back around so I can get the rest of the junk out, asshole.”

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thehomothings · 3 years ago

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Analysis of Kite's conflicting moralities, relationship with death, and the toll reincarnation may take on one's psyche

So, today I decided to compile all the thoughts I have had about Kite's interesting worldview since the first time I saw him into one post, mostly for my own sake, really. If you're familiar with the few posts I've made, you know it's gonna be a mess, but hopefully a comprehensible mess.

A heads up, this is going to be spoiler-heavy, and very much deal with subjects of death and dying as a whole. Also, some of these conclusions are drawn from my own experiences and close brushes with death, I'm not going to go into much detail but it might get personal and definitely dark. I'm not even sure if I can call this a meta-analysis, and I'm obviously no expert, so mayhaps take all of this with a grain of salt.

Been getting into drawing lately, and during the more simple and mindless part of the painstaking process of dotting every single star in this, I let my thoughts wander through the latest part of the fic I'm writing, and I got a better grasp on what exactly made Kite such an elusive character to me.

I'm not quite sure why I got so attached to Kite. Perhaps it was the air of tragedy surrounding him, how despite his sordid past he remained still open and gentle even if outlined by a healthy dose of cynicism.

But sometimes, I think it's the fact that he is so paradoxical. He's brave, yet fears death to such a degree that creates a whole Nen ability around it, is a pacifist yet will not hesitate to spill blood for his own sake or someone else's. Despite the many ultimatums and warnings of 'I will not protect you', he gave his arm and then his life to save Gon and Killua. He approaches each hunt and battle with a clear plan of action in mind, but his Hatsu takes the form of a roulette that gives him random weapons which are never what he wants, but what he seems to need for that exact situation, which he cannot dispel without using. When he draws a weapon, the decision is locked in and his or his opponent's fate is sealed. That's why each time he dubbs his weapon a bad roll. Every time he has to gamble, he sees himself as having run out of luck. When it comes to having to choose between himself and somebody else...well, there had never been a choice. In fact his aversion to using it may feed into its sheer power that we, unfortunately, saw too little of.

Let's go over his very first appearance when he saves Gon from the mother Foxbear.

It's not hard to see the strain searching for Ging has put on him; he's rash, prone to anger and punching a child for daring to get into trouble. In his mind, he's failing at his most important task, has not yet earned the right to call himself a hunter despite being in possession of his very own hunter license.

After killing the mother Foxbear and raging about having done so, he says this interesting line:

So yes, he finds killing for any reason rather irksome as most would do, yet I think something deeper caused him to absolutely lose it in this scene:

He had not been aware of Gon's identity, and despite being an animal lover and a naturalist, he made a choice to save the human instead of allowing nature to run its course. In fact, he says: 'No beast that harms a human must be allowed to live.'

How does one weight one life against another? How is the worth of it determined? The value of life... an impossible choice he's faced with and a choice which he seems to regret to some degree.

The Foxbear cub.

Here, he's speaking from experience, a tangible loss he has felt himself, and a hard and bitter life he does not want to impose on the cub.

His backstory is exclusive to the 2011 anime adaptation but there are hints alluding to it in the manga, for example, the fact that he does not seem to know his birthplace, or:

The choice of words is chilling.

Reading between the lines, one could draw the conclusion that he is an orphan. Something supporting this hypothesis is how he visibly deflates after Gon tells him his parents have (presumably) died.

So we see he is willing to go against his own moral code of not killing as to not doom another living being to the life he led, a lonely, hopeless existence that could barely be called one. He saw it best to put down the cub rather than leave it to die a painful, slow death.

The reason Kite himself isn't as cynical and cold-hearted as one would be after witnessing cruelty in its rawest form is those small crumbs of human kindness which he may have found in Ging.

It was not only a chance at an honorable life being Ging's apprentice gave him, but it also 'saved' him from being broken and twisted into what he hated and worst of all, death.

If we take that one minute of backstory as canon to his character-which I find myself inclined to do- these quirks of his make much more sense. He lived on the run. He lived on the knife's edge between giving up or pushing forwards. He lived as so a wrong move could be the difference between survival and the end.

Between rock and a hard place creates a mentality of black and white, absolute good or extreme evil, this or that. Except in reality, it's much harder than that. Deciding who to save and who to strike down is a heavy burden to bear.

It's almost easy to see how struggling to keep surviving could lend itself to a crippling fear of death and subsequently developing a Nen ability which once more goes against his own moral code in order to give himself a second chance...yet something about it strikes me as unlikely when I look at it this way.

Living life knowing it could end at any moment has the opposite effect, at least for me it did. One comes to accept that it is fleeting and while not eager to let it go, when death eventually and inevitably does come, there is no fighting it.

Especially when there is no hope that tomorrow will be a better day than this one.

Frequent near-death experiences numb one's fear in a way, even if it drives them to take precautions that render it unlikely to happen again and results in c-PTSD, but still, it does. It sparks a certain nihilistic view of 'if it all can end so easily, then what's the point of it all?'

Unless there are things to live for, a sure promise of a better future, and Ging gave Kite that. When he faced the threat of losing his second chance at life:

Really, what else could lead someone to develop the ability of 'the hell I'm going to die like this'?

I think a separate event, an even more brutal near-death experience that almost cost him his life as the hunter he so strived to be set him off to develop the secret roll of Crazy Slots, what I call Roll No.0, Ars moriendi. Unlike other weapons, it cannot come up in random and is directly summoned by him, or better said, summon by his overwhelming will to keep going and hopelessness of fighting a losing battle. I don't believe roll No.3 was the weapon that allowed him to reincarnate. I've named that one Wand of Fortune, a sort of armor instead of an offensive weapon since I find it hard to believe Kite, a Conjurer, would not focus on defences as well, and I will go into both mechanisms of these weapons hopefully in his backstory.

Despite knowing this battle to be a pointless one and being acutely aware of his soon to be demise, he did not immediately draw Ars moriendi, no, he stayed back and fought for the sake of the boys, kept Neferpitou occupied until they could reach safety. We can see evidence of this in the aftermath of the battle that seemed to have gone on until dawn, a torn apart landscape only signaling a fraction of the devastation that was Kite's power unleashed. It still wasn't enough.

In the anime sub I watched, when Gon apologizes to Ging about Kite's death, Ging said a sentence that infuriated me, because it belittled the utter suffering of the NGL trio.

"He would not die in your place." (No screenshot, sorry)

And I remember practically shouting at the screen, screaming 'how could you possibly say that? Of course he did. He absolutely did die in their place. How could you not know your own apprentice? Why-'

It was only last night that it hit me why Ging would say that.

Once upon a time, maybe Kite would not have given his life for anybody under any circumstances, even if he had a way out of it all. He would still need to die to come back to life.

His Thanatophobia could be attributed to the (possibly untreated) PTSD of the near-death experience in his later life, being so certain of dying that finding himself alive afterwards drove him to never want to go through that again. He quieted his fear by creating a sort of a loophole, that even if he lost the battle he would remain. Ging remembered that, but as evidence shows, something changed. Maybe he healed a bit, perhaps growing up dulled his fear to a certain degree, but eventually when it came down to his life or another's, he didn't choose himself.

Now, I can hear you saying 'but he didn't die, so what are you going on about??' And so I reply: Yes, he is alive, but he did die. He experienced that painful, horrible moment of staring death in the eyes and thinking 'This is it, this is the end', went through the actual process of having his soul removed from his body. And that moment stretches into infinity, ten lifetimes condensed into the mere seconds before oblivion.

Dying isn't so hard if one stays dead.

It's not so easy to open one's eyes and find oneself alive again after that, no matter how much that is the heart's desire. It's difficult, nigh-impossible to reconcile with life and walk amongst the living when everything had been so final, when death had been accepted to its fullest.

So Kite awakens, the twin of Meruem and back from the dead, his mind and identity both intact and fractured. In that he is Kite is no mistaking, yet he is not the same gentle pacifist whose first reaction upon sensing a monster's aura was to shield two kids from it at the cost of his arm.

I don't think many of you are familiar with Zoroastrian ideology, but Togashi is known for loving his religious imagery, and it's not only Christianism he derives inspiration from (evidence of which can be seen all over Kite's character and resurrection).

In Zurvanism-a branch of Zoroastrianism- there is talk of the twin spirits: Ahura Mazda -epitome of all that is good- and Ahriman -epitome of all that is evil-, the parent god Zurvin decides that the firstborn may rule in order to bring "heaven, hell, and everything in between."

Upon becoming aware of this fact, Ahriman forcibly tears through the womb to emerge first. Sounding familiar yet?

Zurvan relents to this turn of events only on one condition: Ahriman is given kingship for 9000 years, and then Ahura Mazda may rule for eternity.

Meruem ruled for 40 days, his death leaving the throne vacant for ant Kite, wearing a dead girl's face and seeming to be brewing some nefarious plan. No more is there any sign of that unrelenting pacifism and the sanctity of life he held so high, losing his own may have only served to show him how meaningless the pain and suffering he went through had been, dying only to be reborn as a member of the species that killed him. It may be that he has no desire to rule over the remaining Chimera ants or create an army of his own-

Yet I dread to think what a broken mind possessing limitless power might do to the world.

And that's it. If you made it this far, thank you for reading! If you found it interesting, stay tuned, as I think a lot and I will make it your problem.

#Cw: talks of death and PTSD #When I say I unknowingly projected onto him #I can't tell if writing this was cathartic or torturous #and I gave myself heart palpitations so this is enough for today #And yes I refer to ant Kite by he/him pronouns because misgendering him on the account of his body being afab is just ignorant #even if I think skrunkly's genderqueer af and actually wouldn't mind she/her #still i wanna push the trans ant kite agenda #So yes this is how I unknowingly picked up Kite as a coping mechanism even if out attitudes towards death are practically opposites #don't mind your grandpa trauma dumping #What I'm saying is get ant Kite therapy before he sinks the world #I love reimagining Kite as a villain and I don't know why #Kite hxh #hxh kite #kite hunter x hunter #kaito hxh #hxh #hunter x hunter #meta analysis #theories #fic rambles #Icarus waffles #Kitkat #gon freccs #Ging freecss

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bokugaos · 4 years ago

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Resistance

pairing: bokuto x f!reader

length: 1.4k

summary: Bokuto is only hot and bothered when he gets to leave a very physical mark on you yet again.

tw — noncon, violence, nipple piercings, gore, serial killer / slasher!bokuto

You try everything you can to avoid thinking back to the night he first took you away, but you can’t help it. Sometimes it just worms its way into your mind and you are back there: exhausted, frail and yielding to Bokuto’s inhuman strength.

Of course, you didn’t know him at all at the time. He was but a monster who had murdered your friends and saved you for last, apparently to subject you to unique torture.

You were so tired from running that you couldn’t fight or resist him in any way when he began tearing your clothes off of your shivering body. You didn’t think much of it either, at least until his touch expressed more intrigue than ferocity. At first you’d thought he was just trying to get a hold of you and ended up ripping your clothes in the process, but it seemed he wanted you bare for a very sinister reason.

The realization that his intentions were somehow more devious than you’d initially thought filled you with enough vigor to start putting up a fight. Even that brief burst of energy was snuffed out, however, when he easily wrestled you to the ground. Once you were out of strength for good, he sat up and pulled you into his lap, his pair of gold eyes lighting up with curiosity.

The season here sees both temperature extremes, the days are incredibly hot while nights chill you to the bone. You couldn’t help your body’s reaction to the whistling wind, your nipples perking up and hardening even without any stimulation. Bokuto had been particularly interested in your breasts, his cold rough fingers pinching around your sensitive peaks and pulling, squeezing, almost hard enough to draw blood. Eventually he moved on to explore your body in worse ways, but his attention always seemed to stray back to your breasts.

Bokuto liked the sight of your nipples, stiff and standing at attention, so much that he decided he wants to see them like that all the time. After capturing you that night in the woods and savagely fucking you into the dirt, he took you back ‘home’ with him. There, no one came for you. No one heard the awful screams he pulled from your throat when he pierced your nipples with what you hoped was a relatively clean needle. If not, at least death by means other than his hatchet or chainsaw would quickly come to free you from him.

Those hopes were dashed when days, weeks, months passed and you are still relatively healthy. You hate how well your body is taking to its new piercings, like it is wholeheartedly accepting Bokuto’s oppressive presence in your life. While you don’t have the physical strength to fight him, you’ve at least hoped to maintain the mental fortitude necessary to resist him, no matter what he put you through.

You resist him in small ways, like ignoring him when he calls for you or making it harder for him to get between your legs. Bokuto seems to like you to some degree since he is so reluctant to punish you, but you’ve found the end of his patience. If he could just get you to behave, you’d be able to see what a good man he could be.

One evening, you are very begrudgingly straddling his pelvis and riding him. His eyes are focused very intently on your breasts and the way they bounce with each move. By now your piercings are fully healed, and he loves nothing more than rolling the delicate beads between the pads of his fingers. You bite your lip when he grabs them both at the same time. You hate these piercings for a number of reasons, and one of them is that they made every touch that much more intense.

You spit at him to get his attention, somehow finding the courage to be earnest as you feels your body edge to another unwilling orgasm. Bokuto looks up at you but continues thumbing your nipples, enraptured by the way you tremble in response. Feeling like your point isn’t getting across satisfactorily, you reiterate, “You can’t keep me here forever.”

That seems to get a reaction out of him. His back is straight as he lowers his hands from you, slow and calculated. You stop moving to try to get a better look at his eyes but his grip goes up to your waist, keeping you bouncing on his thick cock. When you take the hint to continue riding him without his guidance, you make the mistake of not following where his hands go after he remove them from your body a second time. “I won’t tell anyone. Please... just let me go.”

You are ready to throw out another scathing remark when a painful sensation behind you made you bite your tongue. Your head whips around and you almost wish you haven’t looked. Unbeknownst to you, Bokuto has picked up his upholstered hatchet from the side of the bed and carved a single precise slice into the back of your ankle. You howl in pain and try to twist your body off of his, but his free arm wraps around your waist and holds you still. You can do little more than cry and convulse when he reaches over to slice your other ankle, just for good measure.

Blood bubbles out of the wounds and spills over your dry skin, staining the ratty old sheets beneath you. You fall forward, taking the lapel of his shirt between your teeth and beating your fists uselessly against his chest to cope with the pain. He looks down at you for a moment before tossing his hatchet to the floor in favor of petting the back of your head. “You’re going to be here with me for a very long time. You might as well try to enjoy it.”

Somehow it takes no time at all for your wails to die down into quiet whimpers and for your tear ducts to apparently run dry. You hate to admit it, but maybe there wisas something comforting about the way Bokuto strokes your hair. And as you lean into him, you almost swear his typically hard, gruff body actually feels soft warm enough to be loving. His heart is beating faster than normal and there is a lively flush to his skin. Before you let your mind start accepting that he is the only company you have for miles, however, you try to pinpoint the reason for this sudden change. You remember seeing him like this exactly once before. The night he pierced you, he had a similar air of liveliness to him. The warm comfort that had been getting ready to settle in your stomach was forced out by a feeling of sickness. Bokuto is only getting hot and bothered because he gets to leave a very physical mark on you yet again.

What has calmed down to a throbbing pain abruptly spiked up in intensity when he wraps his arms around your waist and begins thrusting up into you all over again. His harsh movements jostle your mangled legs and make you cry out, desperately clinging to him and digging your nails into his shirt just so you can cope with the excruciating experience. Whether he’s simply decided he wants to finish or the opportunity to mutilate you is just that exciting for him, you don’t know and you don’t ask. You simply continue grinding your teeth against his shirt as he finishes himself off inside of you.

Bokuto continues thrusting even after he comes, though not as fast. But he is forceful enough to punch up against your cervix each time, a dull ache in comparison to the agony that afflicted your ankles. When he finally settles, you think you’ll surely die of blood loss. You hope for it at least, but it is never so easy.

You can tell by the affectionate hand petting your cheek that you will be nursed back to health again, just like the first time, all so he can find another way to ruin you.

#bokuto smut #bokuto x reader smut #bokuto x reader #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x reader smut #bokuto koutarou #slasher!bokuto #tw noncon #tw piercings #.bokuto!#.fics!

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heywardsarchive · 4 years ago

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Before You Go - [Harry Potter]

Warnings: angst, grief, death, insecurities, anxiety, sadness, alcohol, if I missed any pls let me know!

Summary: Harry lost his lover to the second wizarding war and his mind is uneasy and filled with regret and sadness as he goes through the last of her belongings.

a/n: Letters are in bold and italics, memories are in italics

Word count: 2.3k+

Based off of ‘before you go’ by Lewis Capaldi for @iliveiloveiwrite‘s songfic challenge! I hope you like it:)

Pairing: Harry Potter x female reader

*****

Harry sat on the sofa of his apartment, nursing a bottle of beer in one hand, staring, dazed at the television screen, not paying attention to the movements of the characters. His mind was wandering. The war was over but he was still reeling from the effects of it. He lost so many people he loved, it wasn't his fault but he couldn't help but blame himself. If only he was quicker, smarter. If he didn't let voldemort in he could have stopped sirius from dying. If he just surrendered himself to the dark lord, he could have stopped Fred's death, remus' and tonks too. So many others would have been saved.

The deaths of Fred, Sirius, Remus, Hedwig and others killed him inside but none hurt him as much as hers did. Y/n l/n. The only woman he truly loved. He loved her with every inch and fibre of his being. There was no part of him that didn't ache for her touch. He didn't want her to die. He would have done anything to stop her death, but he couldn't help it.

He tried convincing himself that he hated her. Hated her for leaving him, hated her for saving his life giving her own instead. Hated her for putting his life over her own, which in Harry's eyes was a hundred times more worthy then his. He tried, but he knew he was just kidding himself. How could he hate someone as perfect as her? She put everything above herself.

Every memory of her faded in his mind. All harry could think of was what he should have said when he had her in his arms, feeling her touch on skin. Staring into her (e/c) eyes. Shining with love looking into his emerald green ones, her fingers in his unruly raven hair. If he thought hard enough, he could still feel her lingering touch. But it wasn't enough. He thought of everything he could have said to her. How he could have told her that he loves her, how he wanted to marry her one day, have children of she wished, how he would give everything and everyone to the devil for her. But alas, there were many things that were left unspoken.

Regret. That was all Harry felt. No other emotion but sadness, grief and regret filled his body. He didn't know how much you were hurting inside, too wrapped up in his own head, forgetting the one he loved. Y/n took care of him although she herself was broken, beyond repair with the heartache she had suffered. Losing her older brother and parents to a death Eater attack wasn't easy on anyone. She smiled like nothing was wrong, it was as if everything was okay in her life, as if no pain filled her heart . Her smiling face plagued Harry's mind. They said time can heal, but that was a would that Harry doubted would ever heal.

Harry wished that there was something he could have said to her before she died and left him and all others behind, going to a happier and safer place, or so Harry liked to think. In his eyes, she deserved nothing but love and support. He wished he was more present in her life, wishing he could have done something to ease her pain.

He took another swig of the beer in his hand and closed his eyes. He thought that her death was worse than anything in the world, but in reality it was the idea that she died hurting inside, completely broken and with the thought that she was alone was what killed him more.

He walked to his room clumsily, not really drunk but a bit tipsy. He walked to his dressing table and removed a box from the drawer. He lifted the lid and went through the contents. It was the last piece of y/n that he possessed. Having no kin left behind, she left all her belongings to Harry, Ron and Hermione.

In the box Harry pulled out a few letters addressed to him. He opened the first one and read it for the tenth time since he got it. It was dated 1994, their fourth year. As he read the contents, his mind flashed back to the day the incidents occured. He remembered it clear as day, the Yule ball. He was clumsy and didn't know how to dance, but with y/n as his date, how could he not have fun?

Dear Harry, I know I will never have the guts to send you this letter, but maybe one day you will get to read this.

Today you took me to the Yule ball, we went as friends, I guess we'll never be anything more than that. I guess that's ok though, atleast I can still be around you. Wait, that's creepy. But you get the picture right? I really like you Harry. I want nothing more than to be your girlfriend but I don't know if you even like me that way. Maybe I'll confess to you one day, who knows? You looked really good today Harry. In the green dress robes, they really bring out your eyes. We matched too! Mother sent me a dark green dress which I love. I hope I get to wear it soon. Hermione is calling me to sleep now, I will see you tomorrow Harry. Lots of love, Yours, Y/n.

Harry closed his eyes and a tear fell from his eyes onto the paper, blotting the ink. He missed the way you smiled when you read a good book, or danced along to sweet music, or how you convinced him to make a snow Angel when it snowed back in 5th year. The memories filled his mind, he didn't know if he was happy about it or if it was too painful to remember.

It was 4th year, the Yule ball was in a few days. Harry still had not got a date. There was only one girl he had eyes for but he was tok afraid to ask her. He saw multiple boys her out but she seemed to decline all of them. He gathered his gryffindor courage and walked up to y/n. "Hey, y/n do you wanna go to the ball with me?" She was about to reply when Harry's nerves kicked in and he quickly added, "as friends ofcourse." He noticed her face fall but he didn't think much of it. "Yes Harry, I'd love to." She smiled and walked to her next class. Harry stood there happy that she agreed but also internally slapping himself that he asked her as friends when he wanted more.

Harry then remembered the time her asked her out, it was their fifth year and y/n had stood up for him against the toad face umbridge. He had to resist the urge the urge to kiss her then and there during class.

Harry stopped y/n outside class. He grabbed her hand and pulled her aside. "Harry, what's up?" She asked him, cocking an eyebrow. "I actually have to ask you something." She gestured for him to go on. "Willyougoonadatewithme?" Harry looked hopefully. "What did you say?" She looked confused. Harry took a deep breath. "Will you go on a date with me?" He repeated, slowly. "Yes." She grinned. "I have potions now, but I will catch you later." She kissed Harry's cheek and left. Harry watched her retreating figure with a smile on his face and his hand on the spot where she kissed him.

Harry was now lying on the bed rummaging through the box, finding y/n's belongings. His breath hitched when he found the pendant that he gave her in their sixth year for their one year anniversary. All their memories filled his mind and all he could think of was y/n's face, which in his opinion was the most beautiful face in the world.

He closed his eyes, dropping the box in the process. He bent down to pick up the contents when he saw a picture fall out of a book. It was a picture of him and y/n. He smiled at the sight of the picture. It was taken in their sixth year after he told her he loved her. He missed the old days when things were a bit better.

He opened the diary and flipped through the pages. It had notes on y/n's life, some random pictures here and there. Harry then reached the date may 25th 1997. It was the date she lost her whole family. He read the words written with blue ink. Each word on the paper was a gaping wound on his body issuing life blood.

I lost everything today. I don't know why I am writing this down but maybe it will help me cope. I can't break down now. I need to stay strong for Harry. For Ron and Hermione too. They're counting on me. I have to fight with my life against that horrid dark lord. I have to. To avenge the death of my family.

I can't be weak. Not now. I can deal with my own problems later on, after the war. I can't let my anxiety and insecurities take over my mind. Not now. Not now.

Once the war is over, things will get over. I know Harry can defeat him. I belive in him. He's so strong, faced so much loss at such a young age. I could never survive that much trauma. I admire his strength, I wish I was that strong. No point dwelling in my faults now, we have a war to win.

Harry shut the book, unable to read further. He didn't understand why y/n felt that way. She never showed it. He couldn't comprehend how someone so strong and brave could put themself down like that. She called him brave, when he was far from that. He kept lashing out, removing his anger on everyone. But she didn't do that, she didn't cry, kept everything inside for his sake. She was the strong one in the relationship not him. Harry felt guilty once again, like it was his fault. He felt he didn't do enough to help his love out of her cage of insecurity.

Harry wished he had done more, said more and stopped her hurting, or reduced it. He wished there was a way for him to reach her once and ask if he could have stopped her pain. He blamed himself for being distracted, leading her to let herself be taken instead.

Harry was dueling a death Eater, not paying attention to what was happening around him. Another death eater snuck behind up behind him and blasted the wall he was standing in front of. Y/n saw him and pushed Harry out of the way, taking the brunt of the falling bricks herself.

"No!" Harry cried, pushing the bricks away from her frail body. "No no no." He whispered. He finally freed her from the bricks and cracked her in his arms. A few tears rolled down his cheeks. "Don't cry Harry." This only made the tears fall faster. "I'm not worth your tears haz." She weakly reached up and wiped the tears off his dirty face. "Why?" Harry croaked. "You didn't have to die for me. I don't want you to die for me." He cried. "Oh Harry, I'd give my life a thousand times over to save yours. I'll love you forever and always. No matter what, I'll always watch over you."

"Don't leave me." Harry pressed a feverish kiss to y/n's lips, forehead, hair , cheeks. She was getting colder every minute. "I'll always be with you. In here." She placed her hand on his heart and smiled. Her hand become limp and dropped down. Her last breath of life taken. Harry freely cried over her dead body.

When voldemort called Harry to his death, he freely went, knowing it was right. He had to avenge the deaths of all those who were killed in the war. But a small part of him yearned to see y/n's smiling face again, and he hoped that he would see her again when he was no more. So he went, went with a brave face to the one he loved most.

Harry sat down on his bed, leaving the box aside. As he closed his eyes he wondered if there would have been a different outcome, a butterfly effect of sorts, if he hadn't been so closed off. If he let his walls down, been vulnerable around y/n, maybe she wouldn't have felt so alone and weak. If he let her in fully he could have let her know that he too was weak in a way, he too needed to let out his emotions. But it was too late now. She was gone and there was nothing Harry could do about it.

He drifted of to sleep, one thought lingered in his mind. If there was something he could have said to make it all stop hurting her. If he could have eased her mind before she went. It truly killed Harry how y/n's mind could make her feel so worthless.

But she was gone. There was a gaping hole in Harry's heart, one that could only be filled by love from y/n. But she was no more with him. He would never hear her voice again, never feel her touch, all that was left in him was guilt, regret and sadness and there was nothing anyone could do to fix it. *** A/n: I am so sorry for the angst, I hope I didn't break y'all too much;) I will be posting a new year fic tomorrow!

It's new years eve y'all! I hope you guys have a fantastic new year and here's to hoping 2021 is better than 2020!

#harry potter x reader #iliveiloveiwrite3.5k #harry potter angst #harry potter x you #harry potter x y/n #harry potter x reader angst

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lxpinwrites · 4 years ago

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Excerpt from an AU from my partner’s story

(for @gingerly-writing‘s craving asdfasfadsf)

He should have died.

The thought rang clear in his otherwise fuzzy mind the moment he awoke in the cold cell, his entire body aching as if struck with a fever.

As if he had lost a crucial battle, one that he never meant to walk out of anyways.

He sat up slowly, stretching his weary muscles and growing worried when his prosthetic didn’t move, momentarily thinking that it was malfunctioning until he saw the mangled arm lying limply against his side, the product of yet another one of Dante’s monstrosities.

He removed the useless arm with a pang, trying to ignore how unnatural he always felt without it. The crystal once used to power it fell to the ground with a clatter, now glowing with a bright green magic that he remembered all too well. Dante had corrupted it, then, just to render him useless enough to be unable to work his crossbow.

Quentin had been right. He would have never won.

A heavy door screeched in protest from somewhere within the dungeon, casting the room in a strange light as boots clattered towards him slowly, confidently. Momentarily he considered ripping part of the prosthetic into a shard, to end his imprisonment before it could worsen, but all he could think of was Quentin, of Maria, of how he would never get to see them again.

“A fine prisoner you make, Flemming.”

The voice, once clear and smooth, scratched through a ripped out throat, harsh in Aleksander’s ears. He didn’t want to look up at the speaker. He didn’t want to see what his - what Dante had become. He didn’t want to know the lich who had changed his name to reflect his monstrosities.

The caged door flew open and green magic was surrounding him, forcing his head back until he could see Xakras, looking down at him as if he were a mere insect on the ground to be stomped.

“Quiet for once, are you? I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a Sorian in their place before. Or is it perhaps too painful to speak to me?”

Aleksander’s brow furrowed in confusion, momentarily wondering if Xakras was speaking of perhaps grief. That is, until he opened his mouth to speak, the words inarticulate as his tongue throbbed in pain. “You’re a monster.”

Xakras laughed, a cruel sound that made his heart ache. Dante’s laugh had always been so warm, a fireplace in the winter. Aleksander bitterly thought of the feelings he had long ago held for him, naively thinking that making Dante laugh would make him fall in love. That had been a foolish thought, for Aleksander only ever fell deeper whenever Dante laughed.

How idiotic he had been.

“It would be unwise to reopen an already infected wound, Flemming,” Xakras remarked, releasing him of his magic. “I believe we both know that your constitution is rather... unsuitable for infection, is it not? Though, it wouldn’t pain me to see your tongue removed.”

Aleksander looked down at the scepter he held, his stomach flipping uneasily when he saw dried blood on the blade, wishing that it was only his own blood, that Alyssa wasn’t dead.

“I’ll die anyways,” Aleksander said, irritated that he couldn’t even speak like normal. It seemed that Xakras had taken away both his body and spirit. He wished he could hate him. “The best doctors in Soria couldn’t cure the infection.”

“The best doctors in Soria didn’t use magic.” Xakras spoke easily, as if stating a simple fact and not caring for the hope it brought him. He leaned against the caged door, looking down at him and for once, almost seeming like Dante again. “And I didn’t give you permission to die.”

A sudden anger overcame Aleksander, his fevered cheeks red. “I won’t become what you are. I - I won’t. Even if you force your curse on me, I’ll - I’ll find a way to die.”

“I wasn’t offering you lichdom,” Xakras said, rolling his eye. “Spending five minutes with you is long enough. I am, however, choosing to heal you.”

Magic paralyzed Aleksander yet again, and before he was able to process what was happening, Xakras was approaching him, pointing his scepter at him until the pain was only a memory. He released him roughly, not caring that Aleksander didn’t have two arms to catch himself.

He must have noticed how Aleksander was looking at the prosthetic like he had missed an opportunity, because he scoffed. “Please. I was a weakling when you lost your arm. It would have taken ten of me to heal the sickness you had.”

Aleksander thought that for a moment, Xakras sounded regretful, though the feeling passed as quickly as it came. Xakras turned towards the exit, his ripped cloak swaying in the wind. He watched as, before his eyes, a strange magic surrounded Xakras until - to his surprise - he looked like Dante again.

In his shock, he didn’t even react when the prison door was left open. Nor did he react when Xakras said, “You’ll find your old study repurposed for your new life. Don’t try to escape - you’ll find yourself stuck between myself and my guards. Pray that the guards happen to find you first.”

With that, he left, leaving Aleksander with a hopeless exit to inevitable enslavement, wondering only what purpose he could possibly have for Xakras, wondering if Quentin would think to come find him.

—

Aleksander had wondered if it was pity that made Xakras spare him, though the study that had been transformed into a workshop told him otherwise. He barely remembered the dusty old room, having used it when he lived in Sipara. Now, it so closely resembled his workspace in Soria that, for only a moment, he feared that Xakras had already infiltrated his home.

There were several differences, however, that never allowed him to feel quite at home.

Aleksander had stolen one of the guest bedrooms at his estate, turning it into the very place where he had built the first prototypes for his prosthetic. He remembered how Maria would catch him awake late at night, working through the last kinks of his most recent idea. She had always scolded him for sleeping so terribly, and yet she had always left a steaming cup of his favorite coffee on his desk, kissing his forehead before going back to bed.

She had made the entire room warm, despite the constant draft it had.

He sat down at the workbench roughly, still exhausted from the fight. He wanted to do nothing more than sleep, yet he was too terrified to dare close his eyes in Xakras’s palace, fearing that at any moment, someone would come to kill him.

Instead, he scavenged the room for metal, having memorized the blueprint for his prosthetic in case he ever lost it. Building was harder than before, and Aleksander realized that he had grown spoiled by having two arms again. Now, he was practically useless, and he occasionally considered asking one of the guards nearby for help.

He didn’t realize that time had passed until the sun was low in the sky, casting his desk in a red light that, strangely, made him long for his little knight. Gods, he could only imagine what Quentin would have done if he had been imprisoned. The poor bastard had panicked enough when the elves had captured them.

Aleksander stood with a shaky breath, frustrated at the slow pace of which he was building. He wasn’t surprised to find that the only window in the room was barred, though it seemed like a useless precaution. The room was several stories in the air - and Aleksander was terribly afraid of heights.

Dante would have remembered that about him, Aleksander thought.

He stared at the horizon, watching the ocean from afar and wondering where Quentin and the others had sailed to - if they had even survived the chaos of Loria burning. The smoke of a burning village nearby still hung in the air. It had been a massacre, supposedly. He had been unconscious during it, stuck in the dungeon for who knew how long.

Aleksander knew Xakras was near when the guards outside his door kneeled in unison, their heavy armor clanking about and echoing in the empty halls. He tried to prepare himself for whatever the tyrant was planning, though he didn’t think he would ever be able to face him without thinking of Dante, without wishing things had gone differently.

He briefly wondered - only for a moment - what would have happened if he had refused Alyssa’s quest, if he had instead demanded a conversation with Dante instead of an assassination.

He supposed it would have all ended the same, anyways. He wasn’t Oklena, so he supposed there was no use in trying to predict what was the best decision.

“It’s not your best work, I’ll admit.”

Aleksander flinched, whipping around to see Xakras by the workbench, observing the barest mechanics of a prosthetic with a scrutinizing eye. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten your abilities already.”

“It’s hard to build with one real arm and one hunk of mangled metal,” Aleksander remarked, his throat lumping bitterly. “The crystal in it is - it’s all beyond repair.”

Xakras snorted. “Did you think it would be easy, facing me? You built the original with a fever and a half-dead arm. What’s the difference?”

“The difference is I had a friend with me, last time.”

#Dante story #not my story #my writing #fantasy #writeblr #writblr #come get ur juice

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tobeornottotc · 3 years ago

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Upcoming BL Analysis: Baker Boys; A Look at Antique Bakery:

Why is Antique (Korean) A BL

It’s odd for me how no one sees how romantically coded how Antique is like so much! Especially between the two ‘platonic’ bros Sunwoo and Jinhyuk, one believed to be fully straight by all and one out and proud. I think people don’t see how much the director was trying to show that this wasn’t as easy as that, instead the director tried to explore how they both loved each other romantically , like these two loved each other, and it is hinted secretly that as time goes on and Jinhyuk deals and gets healed with his trauma he’ll slowly become more accepting of Sunwoo as his soulmate/partner. But also he thinks he’s straight only because he’s terrifyingly homophobic because he thinks he was molested when he was a kid?

He misunderstands his mum’s reveal as a child does, and starts being traumatised by his own version/imagination of the narrative of his kidnap. Because a man did that to him he can’t accept touches from a guy romantically because he’s traumatized and doesn’t know how to get over that. Everything he says to Sunwoo from the moment they speak to each other stems from his pain, fear and trauma buried within. He doesn’t mean it, it actually frustrates him when he does it and he says/admits it later to the audience. It’s the opposite, he always cared about having Sunwoo near him, he also found himself without meaning to wanting to be protective of Sunwoo since highschool, he kept notice of him and never wanted to forget him because he never meant what he said to him, and even later he sees Sunwoo as someone meant to be by his side no matter the obstacle or frustration with different personalities and issues. He’s also shown to be jealous romantically may I add and admits that he links Sunwoo leaving him to his past lovers who left him, for him Sunwoo is who he couldn’t bare the thought of walking out on him. He wanted it to be Sunwoo no one else to stay by his side and help him get and capture the kidnapper he’s been haunted by for years. Sunwoo’s baking was going to be his answer, his salvation essentially, something they both would do to save many kids. He loved Sunwoo so much but couldn’t process it because of his trauma and it’s until the kidnapper storyline ends with him finding purpose and meaning after saving others like his past child self from another person, that’s when he starts to heal and he’s okay with going with Sunwoo to the gay bar, with finally touching Sunwoo. Still goanna take him time to be vulnerable because he’s used to always having a mask it’s Jinhyuk; he hates being vulnerable but with Sunwoo he understood that they are each other’s, doesn’t need any title they were set to stay with each other by each other’s side no matter what. And Sunwoo also understood that and proceeded at the end to start flirting once again with him.

Even when he doesn’t have to, hes the one who comforts and listens to Sunwoo real secret about the reason why he falls for abusive people, and it made both of them open up to each other deeper about their goals. self, pains, and scars. Gah there’s so much to break down about why Jinhyuk does have feelings for Sunwoo but yeah it’s odd people don’t notice how the director made sure and even admitted that he was exploring what they had and made it super obvious that they’re both broken people in their own way that needed to grow and find themselves before they could be together. They had scars, pain and self hate to get over and Jinhyuk really struggled with not understanding why his trauma made him refuse to let Sunwoo in his heart romantically he just couldn’t because he was automatically afraid of the idea when he associated it with perversion etc because of the misunderstanding that he was hurt by someone perverted (a word his mother used to describe the kidnapper) to him. And it’s understandable and it’s automatic/ psychological and painful to watch unfold and takes a while for him to understand and reveal the truth. But he does processs it all, and shows us all the flashbacks of why they both interlinked, with him showing protectiveness but also care instead of objectifying Sunwoo (he’s the only guy who doesn’t) it’s what makes Sunwoo although scared to do so/ normally afraid of love and always insecure about himself come to tell him how he feels and why Sunwoo stays in love with him even till the end as his boyfriend literally spelled out to him that it’s Jinhyuk he’s staying for no other excuses.Sunwoo from the start felt safe with Jinhyuk which is odd concerning how Jinhyuk acts with the mask. But again he felt seen, not objectified and affected by Jinhyuk in a way that made him actually grow and find himself. Listen to the dialogues people.

For Jinhyuk it showed that although he has his mask and his crass horrible attitude and trauma, Jinhyuk likes being with Sunwoo, he notices him, refuses to forget him, decides he’s the one he wants no matter what obstacles he brings to make him get his kidnapper, Jinhyuk finds himself automatically caring and wanting to keep Sunwoo by his side you could even argue though there’s the obvious jealousy with Sunwoo’s ex, that he’s also jealous in high school about others objectifying Sunwoo he doesn’t like the idea of it and he reacts and I think that’s another reason why we got that flashback at the end. The whole movie I could speak for hours of every scene and why it showcases their love even with obstacles

It’s like the movie Night flight it’s also a love story and both Jinhyuk and the main guy there showcase the same journey of finding their answer before realizing the truth about what/who they love. The other character takes a while to process his truth and his feelings before finally being vulnerable and having an open ending where he begs his partner to stay by his side as he’s tired of pushing him away. Same as Jinhyuk, same open ending, same understanding of what they mean to each other. Same vague answer that it’s not platonic at all and suggests like Antique that he loves the other. Both traumatized and determined to push people away and hide and not be vulnerable, both phobic because of fear connecting to trauma. For Night flight his fear of being beaten up and being kicked out and losing his power which if you watch that movie is just terrifying to do. Where in both their minds being bi/gay is terrifying because of the environmental mindset they have about their past or people who hurt them in the past.

Even the scene where he tries to say he’d sleep with Sunwoo everyone thinks that proved he was straight when noo aren’t people seeing the layers and the struggle? You can see him struggle, you see him panic because of his trauma of being touched etc you see him try to make Sunwoo stay by his side with the plea and reason of just because. Just because he wants him there, even when its hard for his mind to process the answer he knows he wants him by his side no matter what. Sunwoo walks away because he struggles to explain why, the reason though stays obvious from the start he asked him to be his baker even when he’s scared of girls (something Jinhyuk says is his excuse for why he wanted the bakery which is complete bull because he ends up giving up that idea because of Sunwoo’s phobia instead of just firing him and finding someone new, something the movie later proves he can do if he wanted to) just because he wants it to be Sunwoo. Once reunited he wants it to be Sunwoo by his side no questions asked. And although his mask makes us think he doesn’t care about people, or love or commitment at the start, we see as always he’s wearing a facade, he does, he wants love so much, he’s a caring boyfriend and devoted, he’s also protective of the people he loves but as exposed he tried to the straight thing to propose to several women he felt he had to do so to but they could see through his mask and some were turned off by his trauma affecting him in his nightmares. They couldn’t get through to him and so they left. Sunwoo was the one despite knowing his flaws, despite their past he never lef, and Jinhyuk wanted Sunwoo to stay no matter what and he understood that he was his family (christmas scene) , his hope to getting his answer and remove his trauma, his sidekick, his helper, the person who helped him start the bakery where he found his love for something again.

Sunwoo represents so much to Jinhyuk just as Jinhyuk also even when hurtful and problematic in his mask still pushes Sunwoo to growth and also represents so much to him! Gah I love this movie so much, I love it with such a passion and each time I watch it I just love them so much. Antique is one of those ones where it’s what I want from BL a plot that’s increasingly amazing and not connected to that, then a deep and surprising love story at the core between the two and then covered with humor and mystery and more genres. It’s a roller coaster of emotions, has incredible growth and character arcs, has found family, the discovery of self, healing of trauma and pain and a hopeful happy ending. It’s just everything. Extremely thought out adaptation, edited to Perfection and outstanding acting that won awards because it deserved it. That’s it. I just absolutely loved this so much. The Korean version tried so hard to be as romantic as possible in my opinion, every subtext points to it and it takes a few layers to break down to understand how, but the whole show is all about that emphasis on layers and uncovering masks and layers of every character! Gah. Please go watch it I can’t wait and will pray Thailand does better with Baker Boys. But I don’t know how they can surpass this.

#Thai bl #Korean bl #bl series #bl drama #reviews #analysis #antique #baker boys

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hopelesshawks · 4 years ago

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Physical Fatality Part 16- Epilogue

18+ Hawks x fem, pro hero!reader

Summary: You’re a rising star in All Might’s agency. Hawks is the darling of Endeavor’s. By virtue of your job descriptions, the two of you are supposed to hate each other, or at the very least be cautiously neutral. For a long time that’s exactly what the two of you did. You stayed out of each other’s way and formed little opinion of the other. One fateful night at an HPSC gala changes all that. Based on the album Hopeless Fountain Kingdom by Halsey.

If you don’t want to see Physical Fatality content blacklist #hopelesspf

This story will have multiple NSFW parts so it is 18+ ONLY minors dni

Warnings for su*cide mention, alcoholism mention, oral (receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, dirty talk

Masterlist Kofi

*********************************************

Remembering the Lost Lovers

Today marks the anniversary of the day that shook Japanese hero society to its core.

Three years ago pro heroes Artemis and Hawks went missing after the two went after a dangerous terrorist cell on their own. Although their bodies were never recovered, the two have been presumed dead after the structure was almost completely leveled in the fight. The two have been credited for subduing all but one of the villains, who was apprehended shortly after by pro heroes Deku and Tsukuyomi.

As to the reason why the two lovers took on such a dangerous feat on their own?

According to pro-heroes Dynamight and Shoto, the decades long feud between All Might and Endeavor is to blame. Rumor has it Artemis was set to lose her job over her and Hawks’ involvement and the supposed drama it brought. Desperate to prove that their love wasn’t a hindrance to their work, the two boldly took on a mission too big for just two people to take on without back up. In the wake of their tragic deaths, both All Might and Endeavor received backlash for their role in pushing Hawks and Artemis too far and the clear damage their rivalry had caused. Both agreed to end the feud in order to avoid such tragedy again and, as a show of good faith, stepped down as the heads of their respective agencies. Shoto and Deku have been running things ever since.

On this day let us remember the Lost Lovers of Japan and their bold sacrifice, not just to keep us safe but for each other and their love.

***********************************************

“Pancakes or waffles?”

“Pancakes.”

“Got it.”

Keigo walks into the kitchen where you’re making breakfast, your back to him as you stand over the stove, flipping the bacon in one pan as you begin heating up another. He moves up right behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle and dropping a kiss to your shoulder.

“Good morning Love, happy anniversary,” Keigo coos in your ear. “Happy anniversary,” you grin as you turn to press a kiss to his lips. “You see the article Sho sent us?” he asks. “Not yet. What’s it about?” you reply. “Us. Apparently they’re calling us the Lost Lovers of Japan.” “Sounds romantic.” “It is. Apparently we took on the entire terrorist organization together to prove our love wasn’t a hindrance to our work.” You can’t help but roll your eyes. “Damn even in death they won’t give me full credit,” you joke. “I’m a little offended to be honest. If both of us had gone together from the start? Would’ve had ‘em easy,” Keigo scoffs. “Really now?” “Absolutely. Power of love and all that.” “You’re an idiot.” “But I’m your idiot.” “That you are.”

You turn back to the stove to pour the pancake batter into the now hot pan but Keigo has other plans. He presses tighter against you, dropping another kiss to your shoulder before moving up to your neck. At first you pay him no mind, even though you can feel his growing erection starting to press insistently against you. Then he starts sucking and nipping at your neck more earnestly. You feel your panties dampen immediately but still try to shy away from his touch. “Don’t Kei, the breakfast,” you whine good-naturedly causing him to chuckle even as he tightens his hold around you to make sure you can’t escape. “Fuck breakfast, come back to bed with me,” he insists, grinding his erection into you for emphasis as his hands slip under your shirt and wander to your breasts. “You’re incorrigible,” you groan but the wide grin stretching your face belies any rebuke in the sentence. “Well?” He asks. “Ok just let me take everything off the stove at least.” “No need,” he replies as he literally drags you away from the stove and then using a few feathers to help him hefts you over his shoulder and starts carrying you to the bedroom. Your laughter echoes through your modest apartment as he sends a few more feathers to move things off the stove.

It’s insane to think it’s already been three years since that fateful day you and Hawks decided to give up everything.

You still remember Bakugo blasting in and finding the two of you holding each other close as Shoto created several ice columns to support the roof. He’d been pissed at first but something in the resigned and hopeless look you and Hawks must have had on your faces had made Bakugo pull up short. You and Hawks running away had been his idea, in fact. He and Shoto agreed to tell everyone they never found you and so you and Hawks had stolen away. Since then you’ve bounced from country to country, continent to continent, traveling and performing occasional vigilante work until about a year ago when the two of you finally settled down in one place. Your vigilante work has made the two of you urban legends around town but the city is large enough that no one has managed to identify you both as the vigilantes, nor has anyone recognized the two of you from your previous lives. Initially only Todoroki and Bakugo knew of your true location but the guilt of watching your other friends mourn had soon convinced them to tell Midoriya, Tokoyami, Mina, and Denki. All of you had agreed that visiting was too risky but you and Hawks made sure to call frequently and send postcards from your travels.

Things weren’t always pancakes and sunshine, especially in the beginning. The power of love didn’t magically cure your alcoholism and the two of you had had to contend with the fact you’d literally almost killed yourselves. It had taken time and a lot of healing, but without the pressures of the press and your bosses and work, the two of you had been able to work through it together. Through your vigilantism you’d even developed a healthier relationship with heroics and re-learned precisely what it was that made you want to be a hero in the first place.

It’s not perfect, both of you contend with your occasional bouts of homesickness, but it’s so much better than where you were when the two of you left and for that you are endlessly grateful.

Keigo drops you onto the bed, taking a moment to appreciate your bright laugh as his feathers return to him. It doesn’t take long for him to climb on top of you, pressing kisses all the way up to further encourage those giddy giggles that keep bubbling their way out of your chest. When he finally gets to your lips both of you are almost smiling too much to kiss properly, but then he grinds his hips down in just the right way to draw a moan out of both of you. The kiss turns hungry as Keigo slips his tongue in your mouth. You slide your hands beneath his old tshirt to drag your fingers along his torso before lifting his shirt off and over his head. He returns the favor, making quick work of your shirt before kissing down your torso to the waistband of your pajama pants. He carefully slides them and your panties down at the same time, drinking in every newly revealed inch of bare skin with a reverence you’ll never get used to. Once he’s finally removed the garments he presses kisses to your inner thighs, ever the tease, before finally licking a stripe up your waiting sex. You shiver under his attentive touch as he slowly begins to lave your folds with his tongue before slipping it inside you. He savors the taste of you on his tongue, knowing exactly where to apply pressure and how to lick to have you keening above him and moaning his praises. One of your hands finds its way to his hair to tangle there. At first you just idly play with the locks as you close your eyes and let yourself enjoy the feeling of his tongue inside you, but then his nose brushes along your sensitive clit and you can’t help but tighten your hand into a fist, tugging his hair in the process. He takes that as his cue to replace his tongue with his fingers and move his mouth to instead lavish attention on your clit. He licks and sucks at it as if his life depends on it, finger fucking you at a steady pace until you’re crying out your ecstasy, orgasm sending what feels like electricity crackling down your spine and through your fingertips.

Keigo draws back once your orgasm has passed but he isn’t done with you. He presses a gentle kiss to each and every scar he finds on your body, some of which are even from that fateful night three years ago, before he kisses your lips again. You can taste yourself on his tongue and it sends shivers down your spine. “Ready for another round already baby?” Keigo asks as one of his fingers finds its way to your pussy. “I’m always ready for you,” you respond as one of your hands goes to tangle in his wings. His reaction is immediate, eyes fluttering shut as he groans. He uses his feathers to roughly shuck off his sweatpants, his hands otherwise occupied as one supports his weight and the other collects the wetness gathering along your folds again already. “You’re so wet for me baby. You weren’t kidding when you said you were ready,” he teases as he massages your clit briefly before slipping two fingers in you almost immediately. “I want you. Want you inside me,” you tell him, tugging on his feathers to emphasize your point. He hisses, squeezing his eyes shut to focus on not spewing his load over your beautiful body immediately. “Patience baby,” he replies instead, adding another finger inside, but how can you be patient when he looks so beautiful above you? You wrap one hand around his achingly hard cock, gathering the precum already welling at the tip and use it as lube as you begin to stroke along his shaft. You have to resist the urge to smirk when his fingers stutter in their rhythm.

He abruptly removes his fingers and you whine at the sudden emptiness, although you can’t complain too much when you notice him use it to hold his balance as he curses and squeezes his eyes shut again. His hips move of their own volition, canting into your hand as he almost instinctively chases the pleasure you’re bringing him. “I’m not gonna last if you keep that up sweetheart,” he pants. “Maybe that’s the idea,” you tease but he shakes his head before gently grasping hold of your wrist to stop your hand’s movement. “I want to fill you up baby. Can’t do that if I’m painting that beautiful body of yours instead,” he tells you and it makes something melt inside of you. “What are you waiting for then?” you ask fondly. “So sassy today Love,” he chuckles as he lines himself up. You’re plenty prepared for him, taking each and every inch of his considerable girth with ease as if you were made for him and his dick. “You always take me so well,” he pants out. “You always prep me so well,” you counter. “I’m gonna start moving.” “Ok baby, do it.”

You will never get used to how perfect it feels to have Keigo thrusting into you. He starts out slow and languid, easing you into things before he starts to pick up the pace. Each tug on his feathers and every moan of his name just spurs him on more as he fucks into you. “Fuck baby I love you so much,” he moans. “I love you too. I love you so much Keigo,” you reply without hesitation. He continues to fuck into you harder and harder until finally he hits that perfect spot inside you and you cry out as you fly into your second orgasm of the night. Your walls clench and flutter around him, as he chases his own pleasure now. His rhythm starts to get sloppy as he gets closer and closer, your fingers and quirk playing through his wings to help get him there faster. With one final thrust he moans out your name and topples into his own orgasm, his cum filling you up in the most sinful way as he presses his face into the crook of your neck. After a moment he’s finally spent so he slips out and collapses onto the bed next to you. He’s quick to pull you in to cuddle against him, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

The two of you just stay like that, basking in the afterglow of your orgasms and the companionable silence. After awhile, as he rubs your back soothingly and you listen to his heartbeat through his chest, he finally speaks up. “I think it’s about time we head back to Japan,” he admits. You perk up at that, raising your head to look up at your boyfriend properly. “You think so?” you ask and he nods almost immediately. “I know you’ve been getting just as homesick as I have and I think we’re ready.” “It won’t be easy. Three years is a long time to be away with everyone thinking we’re dead.” “I know, but as long as you’re with me I think we’ll be ok. What do you think?” “I think you’re right,” you smile up at him. “Good, because the others would kill me if I tried to marry you when they couldn’t come,” he replies nonchalantly. “What did you just say?” you ask, bolting more upright in bed. “I said-“ “No, no I heard what you said. What do you mean?” you ask cutting him off. He chuckles at the bewildered look on your face as he sits up in the bed too. He leans over to open the bedside drawer, rummaging around for a minute before producing a small box. He turns back to face you fully and opens the box to reveal a simple diamond ring inside. Your hands instinctively fly up to cover your mouth in shock. “(Y/n) (y/l/n),” he begins and you can already feel tears welling in your eyes, “I have loved you since the first night we met. I know it took a lot for us to get here but I would do it all again and again and again so long as it meant I got to stay by your side. Will you make me the luckiest idiot in this whole stupid world and marry me?” “Yes! Absolutely yes,” you gasp around happy tears as you launch yourself into Keigo’s arms. He laughs and it’s the most pure and idyllic sound you’ve ever heard. He pulls back just enough to take the ring from its box and slip it onto the ring finger of your left hand. You stare at it in wonder for a moment before turning back to your boyfriend- no- fiancé and kissing him with all of the overflowing love you feel for him in that moment. “I can’t wait to start a family with you,” Keigo confesses and it makes your heart swell up even more. “Me neither. Let’s hurry up and get back home. I’ve got a wedding to plan,” you smile. “Sounds perfect,” Keigo grins back.

For a long time you thought you were destined for just a good enough ending with a man you didn’t really love. Now you’re staring into the eyes of the love of your life, standing on the cusp of your very own happily ever after.

You’ve never been so glad to be wrong in your life.

Author’s Note: I said a happy ending and I meant it! It made me very happy to write this chapter because Hawks and (y/n), but especially (y/n), have been through so much, it’s great to write them finally happy. This fic was a bit of a monster of an endeavor because of the music element and the themes it was going to have to cover and it’s such a different vibe than Official Accounts that I didn’t know how well it would do on my blog. I am so so happy that it’s received so much love and I’m grateful for all of you that stuck with it. Hopefully I’ll see you on my next fic ❤️

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#hopelesspf #hawks #wing hero hawks #hawks x reader #hawks x y/n

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