#love back expert in montreal

[cailinsblog]

A Snowy Victory-Cole caufield

Cole caufield x reader

Summary: After Cole’s game-winning goal, him and his girlfriend Y/N walk through the snow, Y/N wearing his jersey, enjoys the cozy, romantic atmosphere as they head home to celebrate with hot cocoa.

Masterlist

The crisp winter air was biting, but it didn’t seem to matter to Cole Caufield and his girlfriend Y/N as they made their way out of the Bell Centre, a victorious smile on Cole’s face and a skip in his step. The Montreal Canadiens had just wrapped up a thrilling game, with Cole scoring the game-winning goal in the final minutes—a goal that had the entire crowd roaring and chanting his name. Now, with the game behind them, he was heading home, but not alone. Y/N had been there, cheering him on, her eyes lighting up every time he skated across the ice.

The snow had started to fall just before the final buzzer sounded, little flakes drifting down from the sky as if they were celebrating too. The streets were quiet for a Saturday night, the occasional car passing by and the soft crunch of snow underfoot the only sounds as they walked hand in hand toward the parking lot.

Cole looked over at Y/N with a smile that was impossible to miss, his heart still racing from the excitement of the win. The snowflakes settled in his dark hair, and his breath came out in small, puffy clouds as he breathed in the cool air. Y/N was bundled up in a thick coat, the edges of her scarf tucked into her jacket, but what made Cole’s heart swell just a little more was the Montreal Canadiens jersey she was wearing. It was his jersey, the number 22 on the back, the fabric slightly oversized on her small frame, the sleeves rolled up just a bit to keep them from dragging.

“You look cute in my jersey,” Cole teased as they strolled, glancing over at her with a playful grin.

Y/N laughed, leaning into his side slightly, the light from the nearby streetlamp making her face glow. “Well, it’s *your* jersey. I figured it’s only right I wear it when you score the winning goal.”

Cole's smile grew even wider, his chest swelling with warmth. “You’ve got great taste.”

Y/N’s smile was mischievous as she looked up at him. “I know I do. And you know, it’s a good thing you scored that goal, or I would’ve had to wear someone else’s jersey tonight.”

Cole chuckled, shaking his head. “Lucky for me, I showed up when it counted,” he said, pulling her a little closer as they walked.

Snowflakes continued to fall around them, each one landing delicately on their jackets, hair, and eyelashes. The world felt peaceful, the noise of the city muted under the soft blanket of snow.

Y/N looked up at the sky, catching a few snowflakes on her tongue, and giggled softly when she managed to catch one on the tip of her nose. Cole couldn’t help but laugh too, his heart feeling light and full of happiness. He had everything he could ask for: the win, the crowd’s adoration, and the love of the woman by his side.

But then, as they walked under the glow of a streetlamp, a particularly large snowflake landed directly on his head. It melted instantly against his hair, but it caused Y/N to giggle again, the sound light and carefree.

Cole, still walking and now feeling the tiny wet spot on his hair, glanced over at her with an exaggerated frown. “Hey, you’re laughing at me,” he said, his voice feigning offense.

Y/N just shrugged, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “I can’t help it. You’re adorable. And you’ve got snow in your hair.”

“Maybe it’s a sign that I’m the snow king,” Cole said, trying to sound serious, but he couldn't keep the smile from breaking through. “I’m basically a winter wonderland expert.”

Y/N stopped walking for a moment, eyes narrowing as if she was evaluating his claim. “A winter wonderland expert, huh?”

“Yeah,” he said, his lips curling into a playful grin. “You should come with me sometime. I’ll show you how to rule the snow.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Is that so? And how exactly does one become an expert in snow?”

Cole stopped walking too, his voice dropping to a teasing whisper. “I could show you, but… you might need to be a little closer for the demonstration.”

Before Y/N could respond, she leaned in toward him, her lips brushing against his cheek as she kissed him softly, the snowflakes seeming to pause around them in the moment. Her lips were warm against his cool skin, the faint scent of peppermint lingering from the hot chocolate they had shared earlier. Cole closed his eyes, his heart skipping a beat as he felt the gentle press of her kiss.

When she pulled back, Y/N was smiling, a soft flush in her cheeks from the cold air. “I think I’m getting the hang of this ‘winter wonderland’ thing.”

“You’re already a pro,” Cole said, his voice soft but with that familiar warmth only she could draw out of him.

Y/N smiled, taking his hand again, this time holding it a little tighter. “Well, if I’m going to be an expert at snow, I think I need to learn from the best.”

Cole’s grin deepened, and he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Lucky for you, I’m always here to teach you. But first…” He paused and, without warning, brushed the snowflakes out of his hair with his free hand. The snow melted almost immediately against his warm skin, but he made a little show of it, like he was brushing off imaginary snow.

“Alright,” he said, “Let’s go find my car. I’ve got a victory to celebrate with my favorite person.”

They continued walking, the snow continuing to fall around them in a steady stream. The quiet evening wrapped itself around them like a cozy blanket, the snowflakes falling in perfect harmony with the rhythm of their footsteps.

When they reached the parking lot, Cole opened the door to his car, holding it for Y/N as she slid into the passenger seat. He was about to shut the door when he looked back at her, his expression soft and sincere.

“You know,” he said, leaning in just a little, “I don’t think I could’ve had a better night. Winning the game was great, but spending it with you?” He let the words hang in the air, his smile a little shy, but genuine.

Y/N smiled back, her heart full as she looked at him. “I feel the same way. I’m proud of you, Cole. But I’m even more happy that I’m here with you.”

Before he closed the door, Cole leaned in for another quick kiss, this time on her forehead, the warmth of his lips a perfect contrast to the cold air around them. Then, as he pulled away, he finally shut the door and jogged around to the driver’s side.

The drive home was peaceful. The radio played softly in the background, but the real melody was the quiet, contented feeling between them. They didn’t need many words. The evening had already spoken for itself.

As they pulled into the driveway of Cole’s place, Y/N felt like the night had been a perfect dream, the snow still falling gently around them, the whole world quiet except for the soft crunch of the tires on the snow-covered driveway.

Cole turned to her, his eyes soft as he unbuckled his seatbelt. “How about some hot cocoa to end the night?”

Y/N laughed softly, already unbuckling her seatbelt as she leaned over and gave him one last quick kiss on the cheek. “Only if you make it. I’m still waiting to see if you're as good at making cocoa as you are at hockey.”

Cole’s grin returned. “I’ve got a lot of skills. Making hot cocoa is just one of them.”

She laughed again, rolling her eyes. “Alright, Mr. Winter Wonderland, let’s see if you can live up to the hype.”

And just like that, they were home. But the night wasn’t over—not yet. They still had each other, the snow, and a whole lot of warmth waiting for them inside.

[justapillowpetpanda]

Fantasia Announces First Wave of Titles for Its 28th Edition

The Fantasia International Film Festival will celebrate its upcoming 28th edition with an electrifying program of screenings, workshops, and launch events running from July 18 through August 4, 2024, returning yet again at the Concordia Hall and J.A. de Sève cinemas, with additional screens and events at Montreal’s Cinémathèque québécoise and Cinéma du Musée.

Poster art by Donald Caron The festival’s full lineup will be announced on July 3, but in the meantime, Fantasia has revealed a select first wave of premiere titles, along with a first look at its 2024 poster art. The festival’s 2024 poster art, created by Montreal visual artist Donald Caron, brings back two of the festival’s most beloved characters from earlier editions, returning by popular demand. The cinema-loving cat and pug, barreling into the future on a sidecar motorcycle, embody the excitement, playfulness, and absurdity that Fantasia has championed since its inception in 1996.

28th Fantasia International Film Festival

CHUCK RUSSELL RETURNS TO HORROR WITH WITCHBOARD, A WILD RE-IMAGINING OF THE CLASSIC 80'S FRANCHISE! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qr0d00hy1h8 From A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS and the beloved1988 remake of THE BLOB to THE MASK, ERASER, and THE SCORPION KING, director Chuck Russell has no shortage of imaginative fantasy/horror classics under his belt. Now he returns to the genre he’s marked so brilliantly with a radical reinvention of Kevin S. Tenney’s 1986 Canadian cult favorite WITCHBOARD. Emily (Madison Iseman, ANNABELLE COMES HOME) and her fiancé Christian (Aaron Dominguez, Hulu's Only Murderers in the Building) discover an ancient Wiccan artifact, a pendulum board, as they prepare to open a bistro in New Orleans' French Quarter. Emily becomes obsessed with the board's powers, exposing her to the ancient spirit of the Queen of Witches. Desperate to help his fiancé, Christian seeks the advice of occult expert Alexander Babtiste (Jamie Campbell Bower, Netflix's Stranger Things, the TWILIGHT saga), but Babtiste has dark secrets of his own. Shot in Montreal by cinematographer Yaron Levy (UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: DAY OF RECKONING). Also starring David La Haye (TRUE NORTH), Charlie Tahan (Netflix's Ozark), Antonia Desplat (AppleTV+'s Shantaram), and Mel Jarnson (MORTAL KOMBAT).

PRESENTED BY MIKE FLANAGAN, CHRIS STUCKMANN’S SHELBY OAKS IS HERE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4u3Z72KhN8 A woman's desperate search for her long-lost sister, a famous YouTuber who investigated paranormal happenings, falls into obsession upon realizing that the imaginary demon from their childhood may have been real. After a successful Kickstarter campaign that broke records across the platform, the highly anticipated feature debut feature from YouTube creator Chris Stuckmann is finally here and ready to scare the pants off the world. SHELBY OAKS delivers in all departments. Starring Camille Sullivan (HUNTER HUNTER), Brendan Sexton III (DON’T BREATHE 2), Sarah Durn (RENFIELD), Keith David (THE THING, NOPE), and Michael Beach (AQUAMAN). Produced by Aaron B. Koontz, Cameron Burns, and Ashleigh Snead, and Executive Produced by Mike Flanagan and Trevor Macy, among others.

MIGUEL LLANSÓ’S INFINITE SUMMER IS A TRIPPY, TRANSHUMANIST FEAT OF FILMMAKING Estonia-based Miguel Llansó (CRUMBS, JESUS SHOWS YOU THE WAY TO THE HIGHWAY) is a singular gift to cinema. Fantasia is proud to be bringing the visionary iconoclast back to Montreal for the World Premiere of what may be his most compelling creation yet: INFINITE SUMMER, a trippy transhumanist sci-fi exploration vibrant with humor, poignancy, and gonzo invention. On a summer break, Mia and her friends try a meditation app that that’s somehow related to the operating system of the Tallinn Zoo, changing in the body chemistry of its users into something between pollen and cosmic dust. Mia will need to choose between saving her friends or joining them.  An astonishing film, produced by legendary US producing partners Allison Rose Carter and Jon Read (EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE, AMERICAN HONEY), Rain Rannu (CHASING UNICORNS, THE INVISIBLE FIGHT), and Tõnu Hiielaid (KRATT), and Llansó himself, starring Hannah Gross (Netflix’s Mindhunter), Johanna Rosin, and Teele Kaljuvee-O'Brock.

TRUTH BE TOLD, CONFESSION IS A MASTERFULLY CRAFTED SINGLE-LOCATION THRILLER Every Winter since Sayuri’s tragic disappearance sixteen years ago, Asai and Jiyong climb the mountain where it happened to honor her memory. However, an intense blizzard and a catastrophic injury convince Jiyong he’s done for and, before forcing Asai to leave him to die, he shares a devastating revelation. Asai returns, however, after finding a nearby cabin and now, isolated for the night, the two have to deal with Jiyong’s not-so-last words... the hard way. Two award-winning Fantasia legends, director Nobuhiro Yamashita (LA LA LA AT ROCK BOTTOM) and actor/writer/director Yang Ik-june (BREATHLESS), along with superstar Toma Ikuta (THE MOLE SONG trilogy), team up to adapt a beloved manga into a narrative and technical achievement, one of the best single-location thrillers ever created. With stellar performances and masterful direction using every inch of his set to generate maximum tension, CONFESSION flirts with perfection at every level - and must be experienced in a theatre.

JAYRO BUSTAMANTE’S RITA WILL HAUNT YOUR MEMORY AND BREAK YOUR HEART Following up on the international success of his brilliant LA LLORONA (2019), director Jayro Bustamante’s RITA fuses mythical fantasy and whimsical imagery with themes of childhood innocence and the potent emotional register of a story based on a harrowing real-life event, wherein 41 young women needlessly burned to death inside a Guatemalan orphanage in the midst of a protest about inhumane conditions. At its core is the powerful performance of Guiliana Santa Cruz, who speaks for all the young women who suffered. As a result, the story speaks much to the power of female anger, and yet, not once does the director lose sense of the fact that at its heart, Rita’s tale is one of girlhood, of dreams, of an innocence lost, and regained within the bosom of female solidarity.

THIS MAN BLENDS WESTERN INSPIRATIONS WITH J-HORROR TROPES IN A PERFECT MELTING POT OF TERROR An inexplicable wave of tragic deaths plunges two investigators into the heart of a fateful whirlwind, where logic and facts have no value as a far-fetched urban legend seems to come true. A mother plagued by terrifying dreams, seeing her friends and colleagues disappear one after the other, and her family witness the horror unfold. Director and screenwriter Tomojiro Amano (TRAPPED IN MAKYO) skillfully fuses the styles of Eastern and Western classics, referencing RINGU, IT FOLLOWS, and A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET among others, to create an intimate, oppressive work that constantly keeps viewers on the edge of their seats as it slowly and subtly unveils the pandemic-like slaughter outside. At the crest of the international horror-film harvest of 2024, already a banner year, THIS MAN is sure to lodge itself in viewers' memories. With such potential, a Hollywood remake wouldn’t be surprising.

LOWELL DEAN’S DARK MATCH CONJURES SIX-TIME CHAMP CHRIS JERICHO AS A CULT LEADER! After his success with the WOLF COP films, Canadian filmmaker Lowell Dean switches it up and takes horror to the ring! When small-time wrestlers get a big payday for a private gig, they jump at the chance for fame and fortune, but the event, run by a mysterious leader who calls himself “The Prophet,” demands plenty of blood on the mats and involves a sinister, demonic deal! Set in the wrestling heyday of the 80s, DARK MATCH is an action-packed rumble on the ropes shot by acclaimed cinematographer Karim Hussain (INFINITY POOL, POSSESSOR). Starring wrestling legend Chris Jericho as the charismatic leader of its bloodthirsty cult, Ayisha Issa (TRANSPLANT), and Steven Ogg (AMC’s The Walking Dead), you’ll get more than your share of intrigue, action, and gore inside this ring! Septentrion Shadows section.

A SAMURAI IN TIME IS WORTH THE TIME AND TRAVEL TO SEE An Edo-period swordsman is flung into the future, arriving in modern Kyoto to confront utter confusion—and an acting career. The medieval warrior transported to modern times is a variant of the time-travel subgenre that has been explored many times around the world. Award-winning writer/director Junichi Yasuda (GOHAN), however, offers a take on the theme that’s not only clever, funny, and distinctly Japanese, but remarkably poignant. Shot on location at Toei Studios Kyoto, A SAMURAI IN TIME is held together by the subtle and convincing performance of lead actor Makiya Yamaguchi. More than just a fun fish-out-of-water fantasy, it’s an homage to samurai cinema as it wanes as surely as the shogunate once did.

SWIPE RIGHT ON ELRIC KANE’S DATING APP CHILLER THE DEAD THING A young woman, lost in a series of meaningless connections through dating apps, falls in love with a charismatic man who is hiding a dark secret that turns her affair into a dangerous obsession. Smart, tragic and unsettling, Pure Cinema host Elric Kane’s first solo-directed feature is a character-driven supernatural nightmare that explores the demons of modern dating in ways that are both horrific and disturbingly relatable.  Swipe right on this profound piece of genre cinema that is destined to become a horror classic. Staring Blu Hunt (Netflix’s Another Life), Ben Smith-Petersen (MAD MAX: FURY ROAD), Katherine Hughes (ECHO 3), and John Karna (SCREAM). Co-Written by Webb Wilcoxen (The Frontier). Produced by Monte Yazzie, Matt Mercer (BLISS), and Rebekah McKendry (GLORIOUS).

MASHING UP GENRES, MASH VILLE IS A KOREAN CULT CLASSIC IN THE MAKING Someone has died after drinking the bootleg liquor brewed by Se-jong and his two younger brothers. While on a mission to retrieve their deadly booze before another person perishes from it, they come across two homicidal cultists who are terrorizing the villagers. The love that director Hwang Wook (LIVE HARD, DOG EAT DOG) harbors for the Western, action, and comedy genres shines through from start to finish with stylish cinematography, quirky characters, and an incredibly entertaining screenplay. Most importantly, pitch-black humor abounds. Hwang and company commit to their absurdity, and it’s an absolute blast, a genre-mashing crowd-pleaser sure to be a Korean cult classic as time goes on.

LUCÍA PUENZO’S ELECTROPHILIA CASTS A SUBVERSIVE NEW VISION A woman wakes up from a coma six weeks after being struck by lightning and finds herself compulsively drawn to electric currents as her body’s workings begin to change. She soon joins an underground support group of strike survivors led by a dangerously charismatic doctor, opening a doorway into unexpected new explorations. A gripping, sensorial experience with a visceral emotional core, ELECTROPHILIA is the latest creation from Cannes-award-winning Argentinian filmmaker and novelist Lucía Puenzo (THE FISH CHILD, XXY). Reminiscent of CRASH-era Cronenberg, it is a subversive and beautiful genre work, a different kind of self-discovery tale, and a new breed of dramatic thriller. Starring Mariana Di Girolamo (Pablo Larrain’s EMA), German Palacios (EL RAPTO), and Guillermo Pfening (THE GERMAN DOCTOR).

A MORALLY CHALLENGING TALE OF REVENGE, PENALTY LOOP TAKES A FAMILIAR THEME ON A DEVILISHLY TWISTED PATH https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-uwF0-__uY Left bereft by the wanton and inexplicable murder of his girlfriend, Jun chooses his own justice, carefully planning the perfect murder of the man who led him to become what he wants to eliminate. Once the vengeance is consummated, he wakes up with a confirmed sense of déjà-vu and his target alive and well, repeating the same routine as the day before. Offering a breathless, dark, and innovative variation on the time-loop concept, writer/director Shinji Araki (THE TOWN OF HEADCOUNTS) establishes himself as a sure thing in contemporary Japanese genre cinema with this unpredictable, shocking narrative that constantly twists and turns toward a conclusion that’s as satisfying as it is devastating. Carried by a convincing duo of actors in perfect sync, PENALTY LOOP is an accomplishment condemning Araki to return to the forefront with each of his future projects.

THE ADAMS FAMILY BIRTH CREATURES AT A SERBIAN FRACKING SITE IN HELL HOLE A road trip through Canadian oil fields conjured up fantasies of secrets deep in the dirt for the Adams family, and inspired them to create HELL HOLE, an indie rock-n-roll monster movie set at a far-away fracking site. Known for their DIY ethos, John and Lulu Adams and Toby Poser, partnering with Shudder, have joined the team behind The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs and FX legend Todd Masters to shoot their latest in Serbia with a local cast and crew. Absurd, mutinous, and transgressively comical, Hell Hole is old-school sci-fi horror, yet in typical family fashion, they subvert the genre with textures of biological and environmental horror in tandem with questions of gender and bodily autonomy. This will be the fourth time that Fantasia World Premieres work from the gifted filmmaking family, following launches of THE DEEPER YOU DIG, HELLBENDER, and WHERE THE DEVIL ROAMS.

DEAD DEAD FULL DEAD MUTATES THE WHODUNIT GENRE Junior police officers Balraam and Zubeida make a cute couple, but not the most diligent detectives. Called to a posh apartment tower to investigate a reported murder, the seemingly straightforward case quickly becomes a conundrum that would confuse even Sherlock Holmes. When the victim herself returns from the afterlife, matters become even more muddled, and soon enough the question isn’t who killed her... but who didn’t?! With the deadpan delirium of his debut feature, Mumbai-based editor and filmmaker Pratul Gaikwad offers a very odd, otherworldly mutation on the much-loved mystery-comedy genre. Featuring paranormal powers and multiple manias, cosmic wonders and covert class warfare, celestial bureaucracy and dysfunctional love, and even a supernaturally transformed goat, Gaikwad’s surreal whodunit offers a bit of everything... except perhaps proper law-enforcement procedure.

VOIVOD: WE ARE CONNECTED OFFERS A THUNDERING TRIBUTE TO LEGENDARY PROG METAL PIONEERS From the moment they exploded out of Jonquière in the early ‘80s, Voivod have been widely hailed as one of the most original and influential metal bands in the world. Years in the making and produced with full access to the band’s archives, Felipe Belalcazar’s illuminating VOIVOD: WE ARE CONNECTED brings the story of a groundbreaking 40+ year career to the screen with energy, insight, and a palpable sense of love. The long-awaited doc will be launched in the very province that birthed the band and Fantasia couldn’t be prouder. With appearances by Tobias Forge (Ghost), Mikael Akerfeldt (Opeth), Jason Newsted (Metallica – and brief Voivod member), Zach Blair (Rise Against, GWAR), Tom G Warrior (Celtic Frost, Triptykon), and Ivan Doroschuk (Men Without Hats), among many others. Docs from the Edge section.

A FANTASTICAL JAPAN RETURNS IN FLY ME TO THE SAITAMA: FROM BIWA LAKE WITH LOVE After stealing hearts at Fantasia 2019, where FLY ME TO THE SAITAMA won the Audience Award for Best Asian Feature, director Hideki Takeuchi returns to a fantastical version of Japan—“definitely not a portrayal of any actual place”—with a completely original story independent from the ’80s manga from which it takes its name. Read the full article

[tutuandscoot]

What exactly do you think Tessa loved so much about Montreal? She’s talked about the control that she and Scott took back and the support from B2Ten plus the general environment of the city. But what about Marie France and Patrice and their school do you think contributed to her love of the sport at that point?

Ohh what a great question!

Yes to all those things you mentioned about the city being a change of scenery and offering artistic inspiration! I think that work with B210 was a game changer and yes taking charge of their careers and as much as everyone used it as the butt of a joke, their business relationship really flourished in leading and directing all these experts around them to make them their best. Also considering it was a sponsored program- really making the most of the opportunity that I’m sure hundreds if not thousands of Canadian athletes would kill to have.

I think the whole taking control of their career was HUGE for them (and I’ll get to this in another post with more detail) but the way they approached their whole comeback as not just a return to competition, return to win the Olympics again as redemption for Sochi (it wasn’t, but it may have been seen as that), was this comeback was really like this epic PROJECT for them- like an all encompassing, fully rewarding life project. Artistically, athletically, as a business/work project, also for themselves as best friends to create together, this really incredible project that took several years (their life experience leading up to the comeback) and exiting out of it after the Olympics- they had a plan for everything and didn’t leave anything up to chance- they control everything they could and planned to be the best to get the best result. Like this body of work they created was more then their skating body of work- this comeback era was like.. this piece of both performance art, and this Quintessential, VirtueMoir comeback project- like a piece of history people would study- it was just so much more than a return to competition. That is so freaking cool!! You look at all the other skaters that made comebacks- Patrick, Mao, even Yuna, christ, Torvell and Dean in ‘94 (different era so not a fair comparison). I don’t know the details of all those comebacks but it seems so much less methodical, less planning, more on a whim, and obviously with singles it’s different to a dance team- TS as a pair designed this entire comeback. The only thing they couldn’t control was the results- the judges (the corruption). But they did everything they could, made sure their team did everything they could so they knew they were at their best and if they were the results would follow.

As for Marie and Patch. Yes! I think they were exactly what TS needed. I’m not sure coz I wasn’t around back then, but I’m curious if there was talk in the FS community about TS going to M+P because they were the up and coming school to take over from Marina- they had a “2x worlds team” and TS were coming to challenge the hot new ISU toy team.. create drama etc,etc..

But for those who knew TS before Sochi/ before they came back, not know them personally but know their story and the recent Canadian ice dance history, Marie and Patch were their mentors- TS said they wouldn’t have come back if not for M+P, and M+P said TS were always like their little bbys and they took the responsibility of kinda mentoring them through the ranks and preparing them for what’s to come- how to be champions and be people others wanted to work with, coz they knew they were gonna burn down the whole effing system when they hit their stride. TS going to Marie and Patch had nothing to do with the school, who else was training there, the favourability within the higher ups at feds and ISU. I think TS would have wanted M+P to coach them privately even if they didn’t have a school- I’m sure they would’ve just hired out a rink and worked with them everyday to get where they wanted to be. Obviously having the school and the competitive environment worked to their advantage in having been through that before- but they would have gone to them regardless, a lot of other teams, esp post PYC after the bump IAM (as it was to be called later) got and all the publicity that was attached to TS gave the school, a lot of teams went there for that notoriety and because it was the place to be to get the marks and the winning chore (largely based on the manufactured PC trend, not TS because they always had their own direction- they never fully fit a particular school’s ’style’) kinda in a far less extreme comparison to Eteri and Sambo70. Encompassed so obviously in that olys YouTube series about IAM (which I didn’t watch all of) all the top teams that were there- even more extreme than at Arctic Edge (and then when Marina and Igor split), newer up and coming teams like LL, Mid-late stage career teams like HB and FBS, and then old teams -like compulsory era old like Chock and Bates (who just don’t know when to stop) eventually flocked there after PYC. TS were the ones everyone was chasing for the better part of 10 years, then they were gone and the sport regressed into overly emotional lyrical FDs, weak patterns and a down grade in athleticism and innovation (purely IMO).

TS are the outliers in all of this and no matter what school they went to they would be as special as they are - but for them having the right mentors was critical to them- and that’s what M+P we’re, at this later stage in their career, more mentors to them as people, and then in a contradictory way kinda parental figures to them in this new city and further away from home. That sounds weird to say- they were in their late 20’s and had been out of home since early teens, but TS being so close with their families this probs did feel like a big step away and having M+P who they always looked up to at took care of them was a comfort I think they needed- a balance of comfort and drive to be better then they ever thought they could be. I also wouldn’t be surprised if being with an actual couple- married couple, if that dynamic really worked for TS since as Patch had described them- they kinda were like a couple- just this very unique, unorthodox one. This couple for the purposes of creating art. I’m sure they fed off that dynamic from M+P- not that TS needed to be inspired by and actual couple or learn how to create chemistry- they already had it, but I think just emotionally that really helped them find their peace with each other again and truly not be afraid to just be in love in their own unique way- in love with each other and their sport. Not to mention the whole T+P being the head and S+M the heart. T+M the art and S+P the technique (not exclusive to this roles but all that melded together). This odd mix of different dynamics within these four people was what all four of them needed.

[leam1983]

Oh (no) Canada...

We've made ourselves some pasta salad and some deviled eggs, and Walt thought he'd break ground by introducing us to Maria Chapdelaine, the 2020 adaptation of Louis Hémon's 1910s novel on the long-suffering nature of your average French Canadian Catholic settler.

To be fair, he knew what to expect and pointed a finger at me. "Don't spoil it for me or Sarah, Mister French Literature degree!" he'd said, while bringing his slice of Key Lime pie to slowly peck at it over the movie's runtime.

I'm not about to give anyone who could read this an expert class, but let's just say that the early twentieth century was one that saw Eastern Canada be oppressively stifled by our Catholic priesthood, to the point of instilling gonzo virtues in the local literary output - such as the notion that a self-respecting colonist moved way up north into Pine Country, hacked foundations out of soil that never completely thaws using primitive tools and then spent a precious few months out of the entire year cultivating a few veggies out of the hardscrabble, with the end-goal of either covering his loan for his lot and tools or dying a good, long, agonizing and Christian death while the sawbones is trying to push a frustrated gelding through fifteen inches of snow. The priest got to you first if you were lucky, you were given your Last Rites and, well, that was it.

So. In this context, we find young and demure Maria Chapdelaine, settled in a verdant hellhole I'd call the Saguenay Lac-Saint-Jean region generations prior to modern-day logging camps and factories. As the exact same spot today is heavily industrialized outside of the pine preserves, but back then, it basically was a clean slate. For people from Montreal or Quebec City, the North was their second Klondike of choice: either you moved down to the States to adapt to the Big City or you abandoned civilization out of the honestly unproven notion that you could just Harvest Moon your way to prosperity.

Maria is sixteen, marriageable, demure, soft-spoken - and absolutely gonzo for a Métis trapper called François Paradis. He represents the 1910s Judeo-Christian ideal in the region, the "Civilized Wild Man" with all the virtues needed to thrive in Society and all the backbone and gumption you'd need to stake out your own fortune in an inhospitable environment. He loves her in the same way - desperately. She hasn't obtained her father's consent, however, so nothing happens. Nothing happens for long enough, in fact, that François up and dies in those pine-strewn wastes after betraying his status as a supposedly-flawless tracker. Maria is beyond distraught, but her social conditioning holds fast. She's the second woman of the household, so her grief only shows at night.

The problem is, Paradis hadn't proposed to her. He hadn't so much as engaged her, either, so it's effectively a love being pined for out of wedlock. You can imagine what the local priests, hypocrites that they are, would've thought about that.

Then comes the second john; a man going by Lorenzo Surprenant. He's the Self-Made Man, the Guy Who's Made it - or to borrow from French songwriter Bernard Lavilliers, the archetypal Tonton d'America, pulling several tall tales about Buffalo, Indiana's trolley system, its electric lights, its well-heated and lit brownstones and, well, the whole glitz and glam of the City, when all you've known is pines that are snowy about eight months out of twelve. Maria hasn't gone over the loss of her pelt-wearing Ken doll, so she responds to Lorenzo's advances noncommittally.

Finally follows Eutrope Gagnon, her neighbour by a few country miles who more or less promises a straight-line continuation of her current life. If anything, he's barely more of an optimized version of her father, as he's budgeted every purchase decades in advance and clearly has contingency plans set in place that could allow for failing crops or subpar yields to generate some profit. He has none of the first's passion, none of the second's pragmatic outlook on holding down a city-based job - and also none of the elder Chapdelaine's hangups about working on a milder lot further down south, where yields are better even if the social and moral credit of giving it a shot up north is abandoned.

If you thought she'd throw her conventions aside during a Disney musical number and confront Buffalo as a new challenge for her to undertake, you haven't really studied up on how the upper States and Provinces in the East coast were still stupefyingly Conservative as of World War One. The Roaring Twenties would improve things in cities, but only the sixties would see Progressivism fully kick the French Canadian clergy in the teeth.

As all this - the suffering of people like Maria's character, her settling for an unambitious life focused on servitude - was seeded in place by our clergy. We were born humble, made for humble lives and destined for hardship. To the Anglophones and Americans went tall tale of pre- and postwar success, we were being held down and more or less morally and intellectually abused by a ruling class of stole-wearing fuckwads who were the defacto lords-o-the-manor for most lots across Quebec that weren't, in fact, in Anglophone hands.

Considering this, should you really be surprised that Quebec and Ontario are as Liberal and Progressive as they are? We didn't just cast our chains off in the Quiet Revolution - we broke them to smithereens. It makes most of us default allies to POC, to the LGBTQA+, all of it because we know precisely well what it feels like to be marginalized. We know precisely how it feels to have natural instincts, personal goals or greater hopes be considered anathema by morons with a collar who hid behind their status as divinely-anointed representatives to control local politics, stifle minds and hoard their admittedly surprising scientific knowledge base (see Jesuits and their interest in Natural Sciences, for instance) for themselves alone.

They got money, they got resources, and French Canadians were told to shut up and take it, to the point where one of our leading character archetypes in adventure serials was Maria Chapdelaine's clone!

Shut up and like it. Carry your burden nobly. Suffer for sins you know nothing of. Endure in silence, for your reward is in Heaven.

Walt's background is consequently different. He grew up reading of Ontario's own Catholic and Anglican priesthoods, but Ontario and the ROC never really had this masochistic complex on being less than nothing and remaining as such. Ontarians are Diet Americans, in a sense - same gusto, same gumption, with just a dash of extra manners inherited from their long-removed English roots. If Louis Hémon had couched his story anywhere close to Sarnia, for instance, the poor kid would've hightailed it to Buffalo without question.

So, as the movie ended, and did so with the slight alteration of Maria not giving any of the three men a definitive answer - Walt gave me a puzzled look.

"Why didn't she leave with Lorenzo? I don't get it."

"Because the story isn't concerned with making sense, Walt," I told him. "This is catechism for shiftless Frenchie kids in their mid-teens as of 1910, hawked to them by well-meaning child molesters who only really think of putting more money in the diocese's coffers by acting as money-lenders to reckless kids with a sense of adventure and some misplaced Judeo-Christian sense of duty."

Sarah, who didn't study Lit, is equally confused. "Why send anyone up north like that? The ground's no good without modern tech or hydroponics!"

I scoffed. "You think fucking priests knew this? These guys seriously thought you could pray horniness away and pray fertility into a bunch of rocks and roots. Oh, and let's not forget that this didn't concern anyone's identity as a Québécois - anyone who did this was a Canadian French; un Canadien errant."

Walt falls silent as he processes this for a few seconds. "I mean, I sort of already knew why, but after this? After seeing this, your Atheism makes a Hell of a lot more sense. Damn, I'd have kicked one of those sanctimonious pricks in the balls, too!"

So... Québécois Lit 101, or Why Catholicism is a fucking grift that's only just recently realized that people are growing increasingly harder to indoctrinate into unquestioning belief.

Which is sort of funny, seeing as you see a lot of local hardcore Atheists sort of take to a hodgepodge of various spiritual, occult or "magical" practices - but hey, they reason, as long as you're not putting more money in the pockets of some shriveled old goat in a white stole in the Vatican, it's all good, right?

I mean, I guess. It's not like Brighid or Odin the Allfather or fucking Baron Samedi have tax collectors indoctrinating people left and right, hm?

Anyway - Happy Canada Day, if you're the type to go shop at Roots.

[digitdigitech]

Top 10 inspiring Shopify shops to observe in 2024: Ecommerce executed proper

Shopify keeps to empower independent groups with the gear they need to thrive globally. In 2024, a brand new wave of brands is shaking up the marketplace with revolutionary thoughts, lovely save designs, and a commitment to sustainability. If you’re building your enterprise or looking for proposal, these pinnacle 10 Shopify shops will come up with a glimpse into the destiny of online retail. Transform your e-commerce vision into reality—hire a Shopify expert for a tailored, high-converting store!

1. Hiut Denim Co.  

Category: Fashion & clothing

What makes it stand out: Craftsmanship and sustainability are at the heart of Hiut Denim Co. Based in Cardigan, Wales, this emblem revived a town’s rich records of denim manufacturing. Their philosophy is easy: consciousness on making the satisfactory denims, now not the maximum denims. Hiut’s Shopify save emphasizes their commitment to quality, highlighting the craftsmanship in the back of each pair of denims with a minimalist, user-pleasant design.

2. Tentree  

Category: Sustainable style

What makes it stand out: Tentree has a strong environmental task—they plant ten bushes for each product offered, aiming to plant a thousand million trees by 2030. Their save seamlessly blends cause and trade, with green apparel crafted from sustainable substances. The website is easy and emphasizes their effect, giving customers a motive to feel good about their buy.

3. Macguire Shoes  

Category: Footwear

What makes it stand out: Montreal-based totally Macguire Shoes offers a refreshing tackle footwear by way of prioritizing style and individuality. Their Shopify store’s particular layout captures the spirit of the brand, with putting visuals and clean navigation, making sure visitors can effortlessly browse and buy their one-of-a-kind designs.

4. The Outrage  

Category: Social effect merch

What makes it stand out: Born from a viral political t-blouse, The Outrage now helps dozens of social causes via its formidable merchandise. This store keeps matters fresh with well timed campaigns and an ever-changing homepage. The combination of alluring designs and a dedication to activism continues their clients engaged and coming again. Maximize your e-commerce potential—shopify expert developer for a seamless, professional, and scalable online store!

5. Westside

Category: Fashion & way of life

What makes it stand out: Westside offers a complete selection of clothing, splendor merchandise, shoes, and accessories for men, women, and kids, all provided through a fantastically designed Shopify save. The brand efficiently combines a huge product range with great snap shots, easy navigation, and detailed product descriptions, making it handy for customers to discover and save. Westside additionally stands proud for its clever use of Shopify’s advertising and marketing tools, offering capabilities like loyalty programs, bargain coupons, and present playing cards to keep customers engaged and improve sales. The seamless integration of those capabilities guarantees a superior shopping revel in that maximizes client delight and brand loyalty.

6. Goodfair  

Category: Pre-loved style

What makes it stand out: Goodfair is converting the way we consider 2nd-hand purchasing. Instead of list character items, they sell thriller bundles of pre-cherished garb, promoting sustainable style. This modern technique no longer most effective reduces waste but also provides a sense of surprise for customers. Their Shopify shop continues the buying process easy, that specialize in environmental effect and affordability.

7. Kirrin Finch  

Category: Gender-impartial fashion

What makes it stand out: Kirrin Finch is challenging traditional style norms with the aid of offering gender-defying clothing designed for women and non-binary our bodies. Their shop design emphasizes inclusivity and sustainability, sourcing green fabrics and the use of moral production practices. Clean, present day design and clean product descriptions make the purchasing enjoy seamless and empowering.

8. Rothy’s  

Category: Sustainable footwear

What makes it stand out: Rothy’s has made a call for itself with the aid of turning plastic waste into fashionable footwear. Their 3-D knitting generation and commitment to zero waste set them apart within the world of sustainable fashion. The Shopify shop highlights their eco-friendly undertaking whilst showcasing glossy product pages that emphasize each style and sustainability.

9. Suta  

Category: Handmade fashion

What makes it stand out: Suta combines culture with creativity, presenting hand-crafted sarees and fabric crafted via artisans in India. Their Shopify keep is a testomony to their willpower to helping nearby groups and retaining traditional craftsmanship. The internet site beautifully blends vibrant imagery with a consumer-friendly interface, making it clean for customers to discover and fall in love with their collections.

10. GOODEE  

Category: Home décor

What makes it stand out: GOODEE is a marketplace that focuses on ethical home décor, curating products made via unbiased artisans from round the world. Their Shopify store isn't just about selling merchandise however additionally telling the tales of the human beings in the back of them. The smooth design, lovely photography, and strong social task make this one of the most compelling shops to visit in 2024.

Key elements of a successful Shopify store in 2024  

These Shopify stores exemplify the core factors that each ecommerce business must attempt for:

Strong brand identification: Whether it’s Hiut Denim’s cognizance on craftsmanship or Rothy’s dedication to sustainability, each keep has a clear, compelling logo identity that resonates with clients.

User-friendly layout: Great design isn’t just about aesthetics—it’s approximately making the buying experience seamless. Clean layouts, smooth navigation, and mobile responsiveness are vital to converting traffic into clients.

Purpose-driven trade: Modern purchasers need to aid manufacturers that stand for something. Stores like Tentree and The Outrage tap into this by using aligning their products with a social or environmental reason.

Innovative commercial enterprise models: Brands like Goodfair and Kirrin Finch are locating new approaches to engage with customers, whether it’s through thriller garb bundles or gender-impartial style.

Sustainability: With growing consciousness around environmental effect, sustainable practices are becoming a key differentiator. Brands like Rothy’s and Suta are leading the rate via turning waste into products or helping artisan communities.

Also Read : 10 Reasons to Choose Shopify for Your eCommerce Store

Choosing the Right Shopify Theme Builder for You

[laresearchette]

Friday, May 23, 2024 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: OFF SCRIPT WITH THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER (AMC+/Sundance Now) SOUTH PARK: THE END OF OBESITY (Paramount+ Canada) LINGO (CTV) 8:00pm

WHAT IS NOT PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT? PURLIE VICTORIOUS: A NON-CONFEDERATE ROMP THROUGH THE COTTON PATCH (PBS Feed) DIARY OF AN OLD HOME (TBD - Magnolia Canada)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

AMAZON PRIME CANADA ALL’S FAIR IN LOVE BACK ON THE STRIP BEAUTIFUL WEDDING DOM (Season 3) KOFA ¿QUIÉN LO MATÓ? THE TEST: A NEW ERA FOR AUSTRALIA’S TEAM (Season 3)

CBC GEM BETTER DATE THAN NEVER (Season 1) DINOSAUR NESS MURBY: TRANSCENDING

CRAVE TV BOSTON STRANGLER COUNTRY STRONG MOONSTRUCK RACE FOR GLORY: AUDI VS. LANCIA SHORESY (Season 3, Episodes 1-2) SILENCE OF THE LAMBS WHITE MEN CAN’T JUMP (1992)

DISNEY + STAR THE BEACH BOYS

NETFLIX CANADA ATLAS THE BIG LEBOWSKI THE INVITATION JURASSIC WORLD: CHAOS THEORY MULLIGAN: PART 2 MY ONI GIRL (JP)

MLB BASEBALL (SN1) 6:00pm: Jays vs. Tigers (SN Now) 8:00pm: Cubs vs. Cardinals (SN1) 9:30pm: Yankees vs. Padres

PWHL HOCKEY (TSN3) 7:00pm: Game 3 - Boston vs. Minnesota

2024 MEMORIAL CUP (TSN/TSN5) 7:30pm: Round Robin - Moose Jaw Warriors vs. Saginaw Spirit

NHL HOCKEY (CBC/SN) 8:00pm: Game 2 - Panthers vs. Rangers

IN PURSUIT WITH JOHN WALSH (Discovery Canada) 8:00pm (SEASON PREMIERE): John is on the trail of fugitive Larry Hicks, accused of murdering a devoted mother of two in Plattsburgh, N.Y.; Callahan heads to Texas to shine the white-hot spotlight on accused predator Steven Leifeste.

NBA BASKETBALL (TSN4) 8:30pm: Game 2 - Mavericks vs. Timberwolves

CEBL BASKETBALL (TSN2) 8:30pm: Scarborough vs. Winnipeg

BOSTON STRANGLER (Crave) 9:00pm: Loretta McLaughlin becomes the first journalist to connect the Boston Strangler murders. As the mysterious killer claims more and more victims, Loretta attempts to continue her investigation alongside colleague and confidante Jean Cole.

CRIME BEAT (Global) 10:00pm: Jolene Riendeau, a 10-year-old girl, disappears without a trace from a Montreal neighborhood, she was last seen at a local convenience store; her remains were unearthed twelve years later near a bridge and her parents are still searching for answers.

THIRST WITH SHAY MITCHELL (HBO Canada) 10:00pm (SERIES PREMIERE): Shay Mitchell explores the world one drink at a time as she visits exotic locations, samples unique ingredients, and meets expert hosts; on her journey, she encounters the latest drink trends, the best bars, and 8,000 years of sipping history.

HAUNTED HOSPITALS (T&E) 10:20pm: Standing up to spirits that are hell-bent on punishing the living; pondering the nature of a nighttime intruder, facing off with a vengeful ghost who appears to a nurse's aide, and chasing an aggressive entity targeting a switchboard operator.

[panditeshwar]

Love Back Expert in Montreal

Pandit Eshwar, a trusted Love Back Expert in Montreal, is known for reuniting couples and restoring lost love with his powerful astrological solutions. Due to his years of experience, he provides personalized remedies to heel your relationship issues, resolve conflicts, and bring partners back together. Whether you're dealing with a breakup or drifting apart, Pandit Eshwar's expertise can help reignite the love and connection in your relationship. Trust his proven methods to bring love back into your life.

[urbanstoneca]

Installing Amazing Retaining Walls in Montreal – Benefits, Tips & Ideas from Urban Stone

Retaining walls are an essential feature in landscaping, serving a crucial purpose of holding back soil and preventing erosion. They also add structure and depth to your property, making it look more polished and sophisticated. If you live in Montreal and are wondering how you can install retaining walls that are both functional and visually appealing, Urban Stone has some tips and ideas that you will love.

Benefits of Installing Retaining Walls The most obvious benefit of retaining walls is their capacity to prevent soil erosion, slope instability, and flooding, making them an essential feature for properties located on a hillside, waterfront, or in areas prone to heavy rains. Retaining walls can also help prevent damage to your property’s foundation and add value to your home by making the landscape more attractive, functional and enjoyable.

Tips for Installing Retaining Walls To ensure that your retaining walls serve their intended purpose and last for a long time, it is crucial to hire a professional contractor who has the expertise and experience needed for the job. Another tip is to choose the right materials for your retaining walls. Some of the most common materials used Plantation in Montreal are concrete blocks, natural stone, and timber. Each of these materials has its advantages and disadvantages, so it is essential to choose the one that suits your style, budget, and needs.

Design Ideas for Retaining Walls If you have decided to install retaining walls in your Montreal property, you probably want them to look great and add value to your home. Here are some design ideas that you can consider:

1. Integrating planters: One way to make your retaining walls more attractive is by integrating planters into the design. You can use the planter boxes to grow flowers, vegetables or herbs, adding color and texture to your landscape.

2. Adding lighting: Another way to enhance the beauty of your retaining walls is by adding lighting features. You can install wall sconces, spotlights, or fairy lights to create a romantic and enchanting ambiance in your outdoor space.

3. Creating terraces: Terraced retaining walls are perfect for homes with sloping terrain. Not only do they create flat spaces for gardening and seating, but they also add visual interest and depth to your landscape.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, retaining walls are an excellent investment for your Montreal property, adding both functionality and beauty. By hiring a professional contractor, choosing the right materials, and implementing creative design ideas, you can create retaining walls that are both practical and aesthetically pleasing. At Urban Stone, we offer a wide range of high-quality Retaining Walls in Montreal wall materials, as well as expert installation services that will help you transform your landscape. Contact us today to learn more!

[beatricethecat2]

"A road trip? How exciting!" Jeanie exclaims.

"They gave you that much time off?" Warren gruffs.

"I'm still working. Sometimes," Myka explains.

"Often," Helena quips.

"And you're still...doing whatever it is you do? For the Secret Service? You never did explain," Jeanie asks.

"'Secret' and 'in-service of' the government, yeah," Myka answers.

"A-And what do you do, Helena?" Jeanie asks.

"I..." Helena glances at Myka.

"...work at a rare book collection. In Montreal," Myka adds.

"For a private patron, specializing in Victorian tomes," Helena elaborates.

"Dad, you should show her your collection."

"Oh, I don't know," Warren grumbles. "Won't be as fancy as she's used to."

"So you're Canadian?" Jeanie presses.

"No, English," Helena says.

"But you work in Canada?"

"It is a British commonwealth."

"Was," Myka snips. "Was a British Commonwealth."

"Is." Helena shoots Myka a firm glance. "Hence the Queen on their currency. I'm not being—"

"But you are sometimes."

"I'm aware," Helena snaps. "I researched my residence. It was easier to obtain a visa there due to my UK passport."

"You only have a British one?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Why?"

"I thought they'd give you a..." Myka glances at her parents. "Never mind."

A beat passes as the conversation hits a lull.

"How long did you say you've been traveling?" Jeanie inquires.

"A few months?" Myka looks at Helena for confirmation.

"Two and a half."

"And you've been able to leave work that long?" Jeanie asks Helena.

"I've made arrangements."

Jeanie looks between the two of them, wheels turning in her head. "Did you meet in Montreal? When were you there, honey?" she asks Myka.

"We, um, met a few years earlier." Myka's hands twist together on her lap.

The room quiets as both Myka and Helena fail to elaborate.

"Did something happen at work like last time?" Warren throws out.

"No," Myka answers, a little too forcefully and Helena shies away from her shoulder. She looks in Helena's direction, but Helena won't meet her gaze.

"Something else happened. A few things, actually."

"They don't know about your--"

"No. I went looking for you after my surgery. Then this trip happened—"

"Surgery?" Warren blurts.

"Tumor on my ovaries. They thought it was cancer, but it turned out benign. I didn't tell anyone, but Pete knew something was off. He picked me up from my biopsy and a few weeks later, they cut it out."

"Oh, Myka," Jeanie says.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Warren asks.

"Work was so crazy, I didn't have time," Myka says.

"You were still working?" Jeanie asks.

"You should have stayed with us," Warren adds.

"Tracy just had the baby, and I didn't want you to worry—"

"Baby?" Helena looks at Myka, brow raised.

"I told you, didn't I?"

"I think I would have recalled."

"Sorry. He's what," Myka says, looking at her mom, "three, four months old now?"

"Four and a half. Does your sister know any of this? About you being sick?"

"No. I haven't talked to her much—"

"You've not seen your sister's child?" Helena's whole body turns as she glares at Myka incredulously. 

"I-I was recovering. Then I went to find you," Myka says, her tone small. "A-And, it's a baby, right? It just sort of lies there, drooling. I thought I'd wait until he was...walking or something."

"That will take quite some time."

"I saw pictures. I texted I'd see him at Christmas."

Helena and Jeanne share a look of judgement.

"What? I don't get the whole 'having kids' thing."

"You will when you find the right fellow," Warren advises.

"Dad, that's not..." Myka starts, then stops with a breathy grunt. "Helena and I are dating, OK?"

"Oh." Warren's eyes dart to Helena, his expression minimally surprised. "The right woman then."

"You two are dating?" Jeanie asks.

"I thought you could tell."

"You do seem close, which is unusual for you," Jeanie mumbles nodding thoughtfully to herself.

"So surgery and a new beau. Keeping secrets again, Myka? I thought we moved past that," Warren says.

"Helena's not a secre--' Myka's phone rings. "Oh, thank god." She hits accept. "Agent Bering...yes...hang on a sec," she says, striding out of the room.

Helena sits up straighter as all eyes fall on her.

"What's your position on kids?" Warren asks Helena.

"Myka doesn't want them, Warren," Jeanne says, lips pursed.

"Yes, but I'm asking her," Warren points with his eyes to Helena.

"I'm...inclined to agree with Mrs. Bering."

"Oh, Jeanie, please," Jeanie says to Helena. "No need to pressure the poor girl. You have one grandkid already. Be happy with that."

"But Myka's the smart one," Warren says.

"Oh, now you're on her side?" Jeanie quips. "All those years you pushed her—"

"Wells..." Warren interrupts, eyes on Helena. "Myka said your last name is Wells?"

"That is correct."

"Any relation to the author?"

Helena opens her mouth to answer just as Myka swoops in. "Distant," she says and pokes Helena with her elbow as she sits.

"What did they want," Helena asks.

"There's a thing nearby."

"And?" Helena frowns.

"I told them maybe."

"You should have said no. We're otherwise engaged." Helena nods towards Myka's parents.

"You work with Myka at...whatever it is she does?" Jeanie asks.

"She helps out sometimes," Myka explains.

"Often," Helena adds.

"Don't you have to be an agent?"

"She's a former one."

"But she's not American," Warren says.

"It's...a partnership. Of a kind. Not worth explaining."

"Go on," Warren grumbles. "Keep keeping us in the dark."

"You didn't tell me about your cataract surgery."

"We didn't want you to worry," Jeanie says. "They said it was routine."

Myka frowns.

The room quiets again.

"Your shop is quite impressive, Mr. Bering," Helena says, speaking up to fill the pause. "I'm curious about your collection. Myka's told me wonderful things."

"Ach, call me Warren," Warren says, his tone softening. "Let me dig out my Wells first editions. I'll meet you two in the back."

"Sure, Dad," Myka says, watching him leave the room. 

"Be civil with him," Myka whispers to Helena. "This was your idea."

"I'm aware--"

"Should we order Chinese or are you two not staying for dinner?" Jeanie asks, rising from the couch.

"We have that thing," Myka says, flashing her phone at Helena.

"Which can wait," Helena snips. "We'd be pleased to join you."

"Good," Jeanie says, her expression brightening. "Myka can tell us more about her surgery. I'll get you that moo shu pork you always liked."

"I haven't liked that since I was twelve."

"Oh, that's right...before your 'vegetarian' phase."

"Do tell," Helena says, perking up.

"She's thin now, but you should have seen her then. A beanpole!"

"I was still growing!"

"You lived on lettuce and Twizzlers."

"She still does."

"Hey, I pigged out at that barbecue place. You were the one picking at it."

"I wasn't familiar with the offerings."

"They don't have barbecue in England?" Jeanie asks.

"Not in her day," Myka pokes.

"That never gets old, does it." 

"Nope!" 

Helena scowls as Myka grins.

Jeanie looks on, confused.

"Order whatever, Mom. It'll be fine. We should go meet Dad."

"No, I'll bring you two the menu. I don't want to get the wrong thing. Or maybe we should get pizza? You have that in England, don't you, Helena?"

"Not in my day," Helena snips at Myka.

"Myka!" Warren bellows.

"Coming, Dad!" Myka looks at Jeanie. "Whatever you get is fine. Let's go." She grabs Helena's hand and drags her out of the room.

Jeanie shakes her head but smiles to herself as she watches them leave.

-----------------

Bering and Wells: Travelogged ("Warehouse 13" Season 5 replacement) Season 1: Episode 6 Title: Colorado Springs: Rocky Mountain Way

Summary: Our intrepid pair travel north-east from Mesa Verde, meandering through the Rocky Mountains, hitting spots both familiar and new. As they descend from Pike's Peak, a last minute decision lands them on the Bering and Sons doorstep, with little, if any, prep work put into what meeting Myka's family might entail.

Previously: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5

-----------------

***BONUS SCENE***

"Why don't you allow me to assist," Helena offers, hovering just behind Tracy.

"What's she saying?" Tracy asks Myka.

"Let her make the tea," Myka interprets.

"It's just tea, Myka. I'm not that sleep-deprived."

Helena looks at Myka, her exasperation evident.

"But she's English," Myka explains.

"So?"

"She can make it better."

"It's tea Myka, not rocket science."

"There is a science to it," Helena says, stepping closer to inspect Tracy's setup. "What sort of tea are you serving?"

"The kind with caffeine." Tracy pours water into the teapot and plucks four unlabelled bags from a silver plastic sheath. She plops the bags in the pot and covers it with the lid. "I don't remember the brand. I threw the box out and stuffed them in this one." She hands the box to Helena.

Helena's face droops.

"Helena's kind of a tea expert," Myka explains. "Maybe not as much as Steve--"

"Why didn't you say so! I have the fancy kind." Tracy rustles around the pantry and hands Myka boxes one by one. "Here's Raspberry Zinger and, um, some mint thing, and Sleepytime, but you wouldn't want that now. And I think..." She reaches deep into the cabinet and hauls out a tin. "African Autumn. I won it at a raffle at Kevin's work. But it's loose, not in bags. Such a hassle."

"Yes, indeed," Helena says, her tone slightly mocking. She takes the tin and scours its ingredients.

"How much sleep are you getting?" Myka asks.

"Not much. The kid needs fed all the time, and I'm the milk dispenser." Tracy cups a breast and jiggles it up and down.

Myka wrinkles her nose.

"Too gross for you, huh sis?" Tracy says.

"This ties in nicely to yesterday's conversation with your parents," Helena says.

"Aw, don't..." Myka says.

Tracy twirls around and faces Helena. "Don't listen to her. What did Mom and Dad say?"

"They seemed surprised...no, your father seemed surprised to hear Myka holds no interest in procreating."

"Myka, with kids? Ha! I'd love to see that." Tracy smacks Myka on the arm.

"I could if I wanted to," Myka mumbles, rubbing the smacked area.

"You'd be an excellent mother," Helena says.

 "You think so?"

"A helicopter parent, totally. She'd have a spreadsheet for every little thing. Dinner now. Nap now. And if the kid went off script..." Tracy gives an eye roll and a dismissive wave. "Do you have kids?" she asks Helena.

"Not at present."

"Do you want some?"

"I've made my peace with the subject," Helena says, adding a sage head nod.

"Too old?"

"Ha!" Myka's hand flies up to cover her huge grin.

"In a sense," Helena says, scowling.

A tinny cry directs all eyes to the baby monitor.

"Annnd he's up." Tracy groans. "Let me go grab him. I'll meet you in the living room."

"OK," Myka says, eyeing the teapot. "We'll just--"

"Go. Sit!" Tracy says, looking over her shoulder before leaving the room.

Myka and Helena shuffle off and settle on the couch.

"I'm sorry about all this kid stuff," Myka says.

"Twas I that 'poked the bear' today, so to speak," Helena says, scooting closer to Myka. "Did you not mention the child earlier because you thought it would upset me?"

"Maybe? I think it's more I felt guilty about not being as excited as everyone kept telling me I was supposed to be. So I just blocked it out."

"I see."

"Look, I know you were an uber-mom and everything, but is it ok with you how I feel? I don't want to ruin this." Myka takes hold of Helena's hands.

"I have made my peace with the subject. You saw the shell of a person I became to live out a fantasy of family."

"Yeah, but...and it pains me to say this, part of you was happy there."

"Fleetingly," Helena says, looking down at their intertwined hands, squeezing lightly. "But I do believe I'll make a better partner to you because of it, if that means anything."

"P-Partner?"

"Is that not the correct phrase? I have much to learn about modern terminology."

"It is if you...if you think I'm..."

Myka drifts towards an already leaning in Helena, their lips barely touching when...

"Here we are!" Tracy blurts, smiling down at the baby as she walks in. "Your nephew!" She displays the child to Myka.

"Hey, little buddy!" Myka smiles a toothy, performative smile, her eyes opening wider and rounder than usual.

"Waaahh," the baby cries.

"Did Aunt Myka scare you," Tracy says, bouncing him in her arms as his cries continue.

"All I did was smile!"

"Weirdly," Tracy grumps. "He's fussy sometimes."

"May I?" Helena asks, rising, holding out her hands.

"Knock yourself out," Tracy says, gently laying the baby and blanket in Helena's arms.

Helena cradles the boy and rocks him back and forth. "Shhh," she whispers from time to time. His cries decrease in length and volume until he gurgles and quiets down.

"There you are, little one," Helena says, her broad smile echoing her shining eyes. She shifts him to one side and pokes a finger into his tiny hand.

"Myka, your face!" Tracy blurts.

Myka stares at the scene in front of her. "You're r-really good at that," she says.

"I'd have suggested a nip of gin if he wouldn't quiet. But this one's an angel," Helena says.

"For him or for me?" Tracy asks.

"Perhaps both," Helena says, passing the baby back to Tracy. "He seems a tad peckish."

"Eternally," Tracy grumbles, settling into the rocking chair.

"Are you alright?" Helena asks Myka as she returns to the couch.

"I've never seen you smile like that."

"And it disturbed you?"

"No, it was...nice. Brighter than usual." 

"Brighter than for you?"

"Just...different."

"I do have a soft spot for infants--"

"So you were about to kiss when I walked in. I knew it!" Tracy blurts.

"Mom didn't tell you--whoa!" Myka shields her eyes as the baby latches onto Tracy's breast.

"All mom said was you were here with your girlfriend."

"Y-You couldn't give him a bottle?" Myka says.

"It's natural, Myka."

"But you're my sister, and that's your boob."

"I'm pleased wet nurses are out of fashion," Helena quips.

"Gin? Wet nurses? How old are you?" Tracy asks.

"Ugh," Myka grunts, face wrinkling as she chances a glance at Tracy. "What'd Mom say again?"

"You were here with your girlfriend. I thought she meant bestie."

"No girlfriend." Myka slips her hand into Helena's and smiles triumphantly.

"Leave it to Mom to understate that," Tracy says, her free hand reaching towards the end table but falling inches short of her goal.

"Allow me." Helena springs up and hands the towel to Tracy.

"Thank you." Tracy blots milk off of the baby's face and her chest. "Ugh, I completely forgot about the tea!" she says, looking up at Helena.

"Not to worry, I'll tend to it. Is there anything else you need?"

"A modesty curtain for Myka?" Tracy jokes.

Myka sticks her tongue out. Tracy reciprocates.

"Milk and sugar?" Helena asks.

"Yes, please," Tracy answers.

"Black for you, I know," Helena says to Myka. "Barbarian."

Myka sticks her tongue out at Helena.

Helena smiles and walks into the kitchen.

"Tell me everything," Tracy says once Helena's out of earshot.

"After you put that thing away," Myka says, pointing with her eyes at Tracy's chest.

"Prude."

"Helena would disagree."

Tracy gasps and throws the milk-stained towel at Myka.

"Gross!" Myka says, ducking away.

"Start talking," Tracy says, buttoning up her top with one hand. "Where on earth did you find her?" Becuase I think I want one, too "

END SCENE

-TBC-

NOTES: No artifacts this time, just a glimpse into family dynamics and H.G. and Myka's budding relationship. I rewatched the episode with Myka's parents to see where that was left in-canon and can't imagine it became more resolved over time. I did a tiny bit of research into Victorian breastfeeding practices and was surprised to have turned up some daguerrotypes/tin types from  the 1840's-60's. Apparently, it was a fashion in the US to have your portrait taken while breastfeeding (infant mortality being what is was back then). Look up Hyperallergic's article, "The Victorian-era Daguerrotypes of Women Breastfeeding" for more info. (And yes, nearly everything leads back to photographs somehow with me.) PS: Two more of these and I'll wrap up season one!

[lawitch]

West Coast part of tour is over!!! 😭😭💔🖤🌵✨ Thank you The Black Angels for taking us with you!!! It’s been so long, and being out on the road playing for people who love music reminds us of why we do this in the first place.

Also big thanks to LEVITATION, the Black Angels’ crew, our TM Eyal Lidergot, merch expert extraordinaire Glenn Fryatt, and Lauren Andino for being down to play guitar with us. Make sure to check out her and Glenn’s band Tremours 💫

Thanks to all the fans and friends we met/made along the way!!! Home now for Thanksgiving, and then back on the road this Saturday to start the East Coast part of tour with All Them Witches. Dates below!

NOV 27 / Bisbee AZ / The Quarry

DEC 02 / Atlanta GA / 529

DEC 03 / Carrboro NC / Cat's Cradle^

DEC 04 / Baltimore MD / Soundstage^

DEC 05 / Philadelphia PA / Underground Arts^

DEC 07 / Brooklyn NY / Warsaw^

DEC 08 / Boston MA / Paradise Rock Club^

DEC 09 / Montreal QC / L'Astral^

DEC 10 / Toronto ON / Danforth Music Hall^

DEC 11 / Pittsburgh PA / Mr. Smalls Theatre^

DEC 12 / Cleveland OH / Beachland Ballroom^

DEC 14 / Columbus OH / Skully's^

DEC 15 / Detroit MI / Magic Stick^

DEC 16 / Chicago IL / Metro Chicago^

DEC 17 / Minneapolis MN / Fine Line

DEC 19 / Denver CO / Bluebird Theater

^with All Them Witches

📷 Cameron Allsop, Irita Pai, Sade Sanchez, Glenn Fryatt, Scene in the Dark

[justlookfrightened]

4, 5, or 35 ? Because I’m indecisive as hell and love your writing.

From this prompt list: 4. “If I die, I’m haunting you first.”; 5. “But I’ve never told you that before.” ; and 35.  “Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you.”

Bitty played hockey and Samwell and went on to be a cookbook author; Jack went directly into the NHL.

Bitty’s eyes traveled up the the shelves of the cupboard, wondering what ingredients he could reasonably expect someone who did not cook or bake for a living to have.

Flour, of course, if they were volunteering to be on a baking show. Most likely all purpose. Sugar (white) and salt (iodized). Butter. Maybe they usually used margarine, but Bitty would not compromise on that. Butter surely counted as a common ingredient. Shortening, too.

What about spices? Most people probably had cinnamon in their cabinets, even if it was twelve years old and devoid of flavor. Would nutmeg or allspice be too much? Maybe.

And this contestant had requested a fruit pie. If they were going for common ingredients, that would most likely mean apple. Apples were nearly always plentiful and cheap at supermarkets, so if this pie was going to use fresh fruit (and it was), it would be apple.

*

Bitty had misgivings about appearing on “So You Think You Can Bake,” the new Food Network show that pitted expert bakers against celebrities. The idea was that the expert would develop a recipe they thought was suitable for an inexperienced home cook.

Then the expert and the celebrity would both make the dish in separate kitchens while being filmed. 

The expert baker and celebrity contestant would have their creations scored anonymously. If the celebrity chef received at least eighty percent of the score of the celebrity baker, they won money for the baker to keep and the celebrity to donate to charity. Total scores counted toward the final competition at season’s end, when the three best pairs would be brought back for the final, competing for a $50,0000 prize.

There were so many things that could go wrong. Bitty could get paired with a celebrity chef with no palate, or no coordination, or even no real interest in winning. Some people could mess up a perfectly good recipe by not measuring accurately, or doing steps in the wrong order, or even mistaking the salt for the sugar. If the celebrity chef messed up, it wouldn’t just look bad for them. It would throw shade on Bitty, whose job, after all, was to explain how to bake in a way that people would understand. Relatable was his brand.

But Eileen, the PR rep who handled his books for the publishing house, thought it would be a good idea.

“This show is literally made for you,” she said. “And the exposure would be great. Think of the campaign for your next book.”

So Bitty agreed. Then he found out who his assigned celebrity was.

“A hockey player?” Bitty asked. “Whose only memorable sound bite is ‘Eat more protein’? Which did not go viral for the reasons he thinks it did. I mean, I wasn’t expecting Beyonce, or even Taylor Swift, but why not a Kacey Musgraves?”

Bitty wasn’t at all bitter that, at 24, he no longer had regular access to an ice rink. He could pay to rent ice to figure skate, but it was hard to find the motivation since he was no longer in competition, and he hadn’t yet found a men’s league hockey team where he felt comfortable.

“I know Jack Zimmermann isn’t who most people think of as a home cook,” Eileen said. “But the producers were thrilled. They think he’ll bring on a whole new demographic.”

“How’d they rope him into it anyway?” Bitty asked, scrolling through interview after interview with Jack talking saying, “We win and lose as a team,” and “We have to protect the neutral zone and get the puck down low,” and “We need to keep our feet moving and have a shoot-first mentality.”

It was like they taught him six phrases in media training and he used them over and over again, in random order.

He wasn’t hard to look at, Bitty would give him that. And the physique -- yeah, his nutrition plan was definitely protein-heavy. Why would he agree to do a baking show? 

*

“My agent said it would be a good idea,” Jack Zimmermann said when he and Bitty had their first meeting. “He said it would humanize me. Actually, he said it would be the beginning of an arc of character development I wasn’t expecting, but that’s just the way he is.”

The actual first meeting was in the green room, waiting to go on-set for the “first meeting” taping. Jack had been sitting in a chair along the wall when Bitty came in, reading an actual, honest-to-God book.

Bitty had to shove his phone in his pocket as he cleared his throat to get Jack’s attention. It seemed like Jack kept reading for a few seconds after he noticed Bitty, which was annoying, because the book would always be there, but Bitty was prepared to be gracious.

“Mr. Zimmermann? I’m Eric Bittle,” Bitty said. “We’re going to be working together. Pleased to meet you.”

“I know,” Jack said. 

Okay. 

“When we start the taping, I’m going to ask you about any experience you have baking, any favorite desserts, things you’ve always wanted to learn to make,” Bitty said. “Anything you want me to steer the conversation toward? Or stay away from?”

“Are we supposed to be doing this?” Jack said. “Talking, I mean.”

“Um, yes?” Bitty said. “It’s not like we’re concocting a fake story. We just want the on-camera talk to go smoothly. So have you baked before?”

“No.”

“Any favorite desserts?”

“I don’t really eat sweets.”

“Well, you’re going to have to eat something sweet,” Bitty said. “Anything you want to make?”

Jack shrugged.

“Honey, don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you here?” Bitty asked.

“Uh, you can call me Jack,” Jack said, then launched into his explanation about his agent, a man with the improbable name of John Johnson.

Bitty shook his head at that, and tried to keep the conversation going.

“You’re Canadian, right?” 

“Dual citizenship,” Jack said. “But I mostly grew up in Montreal.”

“Anything special from back home?”

Then the assistant came to bring them on the set, dressed to look like a home kitchen, each of them seated at a table with mugs in front of them. The mugs just held water, but the audience wouldn’t see that; it was supposed to look like two friends talking over coffee.

Bitty decided to pick up the conversation where he left off in the green room, since it was the only thing he hadn’t struck out on already.

“So, Jack, I understand you’re from Montreal. Do have any memories of classic desserts or baked goods from your childhood?”

Jack paused and looked like he was really thinking, like he didn’t want to disappoint the producers.

“We used to have tarte au sucre at the holidays,” he finally said. “I liked that.”

“Sugar pie?” Bitty said, thankful that at least the cooking terms had stuck from his college French class. “We could do something with that.”

“But I’d like to do something that has some healthy ingredients,” Jack had said. 

“Is fruit healthy enough?” Bitty asked. “Maybe a fruit pie? You might not know this, but that’s kind of my specialty.”

Jack had offered a smile at that, and said, “Good to know. Maybe we can win this thing, eh?”

The taping didn’t last long, and soon Bitty was collecting his things from the green room.

“Wait, Jack, I forgot to ask you, any allergies? I wouldn’t want to kill you for a silly TV show.”

“If I die, I’m haunting you first,” Jack said. “But no, no food allergies. Is there anything I should practice beforehand?”

“I don’t think I’m allowed to tell you that,” Bitty said, starting to feel like maybe Jack wasn’t as wooden as he’d seemed at first. He seemed to relax once the taping ended. Maybe this would be okay after all.

*

Bitty started by making an apple pie, trying to write down the steps as precisely as he could just as he did them.

It didn’t work.

Sure, he could measure and mix the dry ingredients for the crust, and tell Jack to make sure his butter and shortening were cold, but how could he explain the twisting motion for the pastry cutter? When he had to start by explaining what a pastry cutter was? 

And how would Jack know when he was done cutting and should add the ice water? Bitty had read recipes over the years saying the mixture should look like everything from rough crumbs to small peas … which were not the same thing by a long shot. Bitty had learned what it should look like at his MooMaw’s elbow; sure, he’d tried to put it into words in his cookbooks, but there was a reason he always included photos.

Jack had said he’d never baked. He wouldn’t know what it should look like.

Bitty called the producers to ask if he could include pictures in the recipe he developed for Jack.  The answer -- hand-drawn sketches were fine, as long he drew them himself, but no photographs -- was not encouraging.

Bitty started over and this time took a photograph of the dough mixture just before he added the water. He could use that  to write a description, he decided. Then he had to think about how to explain when the dough was wet enough.

Once he had the dough made, the process for making the filling was easier. Peel and slice apples, coat with flour and a little cinnamon and sugar -- and, a last-minute brainstorm for Canadian Jack, a little maple syrup -- and set aside. He toyed with the idea of including maple sugar for the crust, but the studio pantry probably didn’t have real maple sugar. He could boil some syrup down -- but that wasn’t something Jack could (or would) do, probably. Better to just do an egg wash and sprinkle some sugar on for the sparkle.

The instructions for rolling out the dough were simple enough, provided Jack followed them. That was the hard part. Most people couldn’t seem to leave well enough alone with pie dough.

Bitty moved to his laptop and wrote at the top of the instructions:

“A general note on making pie dough. Do less than you think you need to. Don’t work it too much. If you do, it will be tough. So if you’re not sure if you should stop messing with it, stop.”

Then he did his best to put into words what it should like with all the fats cut in (“If you don’t see any powdery flour, it’s probably good”) and with the ice water added (“It should be moist, not wet”).

Then he thought about the top. Normally, people thought of lattices as being hard to do. But if the baker was methodical and followed directions, it wasn’t so bad. And it would be easier to put strips on top of the pie than to pick up the whole top crust and put it on intact. It didn’t really matter if the bottom was a mess; this wasn’t the Great British Bake-Off with Mary Berry and her hatred of soggy bottoms. The pie would be served from the dish, and no one would know if the bottom crust was torn and mended as long it still tasted good.

So, a nice, tightly woven lattice for the top. Bitty set to drawing a detailed diagram.

*

Bitty printed the recipe he developed -- all ten pages -- to bring with him and hand to Jack. He’d already supplied it to the producers to make sure they agreed all the ingredients were things a home cook would have in their pantry, or at least have ready access to.

“Real maple syrup?” the production assistant had asked. “What about something like Pillsbury pancake syrup? That’s what most people use.”

“My baker is Canadian,” Bitty argued. “He’d have the real stuff.”

“Fine, I guess.”

Bitty was dressed for TV in dark skinny jeans, a light T-shirt and a Samwell red button-down over it with red Chuck Taylors. The provided apron, he knew, would be beige with a dark red logo.

Jack came in dressed in charcoal gray tailored slacks and a light blue shirt, almost exactly the same color as his eyes. Yeah, he was good-looking. Bitty wasn’t sure if he would bring in the sports-loving young men the producers were hoping for, but it wouldn’t matter. The women would love him. And the gay boys like him. But no one ever counted them as their own demographic.

When the got into the studio, Bitty handed over the recipe.

Jack’s eyes widened when he saw how long it was.

“Does this take all day?” he asked.

“I can do it in about two hours,” Bitty said. “Counting chilling and baking time.”

“You’ll have three hours to complete the challenge,” the host said. “As long as you finish in that time, any differential in how long it takes won’t count against you.

Jack nodded, a determined set to his jaw. Bitty was almost glad they would be separated so he didn’t have to worry about cutting himself on that jawline.

Then Bitty was escorted to his studio kitchen, where he proceeded to make a pie, narrating each step, just like he was making a vlog post.

He made sure to turn the top of the bowl to the camera when he was done cutting the fats in, and again when he added the water. 

“You see those streaks of butter and shortening?” he said, when he gathered the dough into disks to chill. “You want those to make flaky crust.”

He made sure to slice the apples evenly, and mix them gently with the flour and flavorings, then he rolled his dough out.

He clucked at himself -- but didn’t say anything -- when he realized he’d forgotten to tell Jack to make sure he had the thinnest possible layer of fat on his work surface before he scattered flour over it.

Then, once the pie was done, he actually slapped himself upside the head.

“I never said anything about covering the edges with foil at the beginning,” he said. “Poor guy is definitely gonna have burnt edges. Oh well.”

Bitty’s pie came out of the oven at the two-hour mark, and he donned oven mitts to be filmed carrying it into the judging room.

“You’ve got some time if you want to head to the green room relax,” the production assistant said. “Someone will come get you before Jack is ready to bring his pie in.”

Bitty flung himself onto the couch and groaned. He could have used the $5,000 prize from this stage of the competition to get ahead on his rent for a couple of months … and maybe even rent an ice rink for a couple of hours to clear his mind. He didn’t regret his choice of career -- writing cookbooks, running his vlog, making appearances like this -- but the money tended to come in fits and starts.

He realized he’d never even asked Jack what his charity was. The show must have asked him at some point, so Bitty was sure he’d find out eventually. He hoped Jack would donate to his chosen charity regardless. He could certainly afford it. The only real advantage for the charity to having Jack appear on the show was publicity. Well, and convincing people that straight, athletic young men could bake and enjoy it.

But Bitty forgot to tell him to use foil to guard the edges, so they probably wouldn’t advance, and it would all be Bitty’s fault. Jack -- he had to be competitive, right? -- well, it didn’t matter if hated Bitty. They hardly knew one another. 

*

“Eric? Jack’s pie is done. Time to go to the judging room.”

Bitty roused himself from the sofa, resigned to his fate. If nothing else, he’d learned a lesson.

He took his place behind his pie and waited for Jack and his pie with its inevitable burnt edges.

He was sitting there when Jack came in, carrying his beautiful golden brown pie aloft. Jack set it on the empty cooling rack next to Bitty’s and stepped back.

It was beautiful. The lattice was maybe not quite as straight, not quite as even as Bitty’s, but it was close.

Bitty couldn’t help a pleased grin, first at the pie, then at Jack, who had finished with fifteen minutes to spare.

“Okay, you two. We’re going to break for lunch while Jack’s pie cools,” the production assistant said. “We need you back in an hour in the same clothes, so don’t mess them up.”

Bitty was about to head out when Jack said, “Want to grab a sandwich? There’s a place down the block.”

“Sure,” Bitty said. “I have some questions for you.”

“And me for you,” Jack said.

Once they had their food and settled at a table, Bitty said, “How did you keep the edges from burning?”

“I made foil collars,” Jack said.

“But I’ve never told you that before,” Bitty said.

“You always do it on your YouTube channel,” Jack said.

“Wait … you’ve seen … but you said you’d never baked,” Bitty said. 

“I hadn’t,” Jack said. “That doesn’t mean I’ve never watched anyone else bake on YouTube. When Johnson said you were doing this, it seemed like a good opportunity to meet you.”

“To meet me?” Bitty really had to start thinking of some of his own words instead of just repeating Jack’s.

“Well, yeah,” Jack said. “Someone showed me your videos when you were at Samwell, and I was intrigued by a hockey player who baked. Made me wonder what it would have been like to be on a college team, or whether I’d develop any other interests.”

“Someone?”

Jack actually blushed. “My mother. She went to Samwell.”

It was almost a physical effort for Bitty to push that out of his head. Jack’s mother was … nope. Not going there.

“So you wanted to make pie because you’d see me make it before?” 

“A lot,” Jack said. “But the instructions were really helpful.”

“I thought we’d lost it when I realized I’d never said anything about the foil,” Bitty admitted.

“But I figured you could make a donation to your charity anyway.”

Jack nodded.

“I plan on adding to it even if we win,” he said. “What do you want to do with the money? Bitty was not going to tell Jack Zimmermann that he needed money to pay his rent. Not this unexpected Jack Zimmermann, who for some reason had been interested in Bitty for years. Despite, Bitty reminded himself, being straight. Almost certainly.

“Some of it will buy ice time,” he said. “I miss skating, you know? I used to figure skate before I played hockey.”

“I’m not sure what I’d do if I couldn’t skate every day,” Jack said. “Sorry, maybe I shouldn’t say that. Don’t want to make you jealous.”

“Oh honey, I’d never be jealous of you,” Bitty said. ”I have the job I want. I just want to be able to skate for fun. Like you want to bake for fun, I guess.”

“I don’t know about that,” Jack said. “It was pretty stressful. I kept wanting to make it perfect, but you said not to overwork it. But maybe it would be more fun if it wasn’t being recorded for TV.”

“Maybe we could bake together sometime?” Bitty said. 

“Then skate?” Jack suggested. “On our practice ice.”

“That would be really great,” Bitty said. “Ready to go back? By the way, you never said what your charity is.”

“You Can Play,” Jack said. “I’m thinking of coming out next year.”

[krakenbait]

kraken bait 3: the moment of truth

the moment is finally upon us! no, not the actual expansion draft, that’s in 10 days. i mean my last (but best) installment of the kraken bait expansion draft theories! 

this has been a long, long work in progress, basically since i posted the last one. i’ve asked nearly every hockey fan i know, as well as randomly messaging several friends and cool people on hockeyblr, for their ideas and opinions on their favorite team’s expansion draft situation. and as with my previous lists, i had my friend and capfriendly consultant corwin (@chaos-hockey) collaborating with me to make this semi-reasonable (largely against their wishes). i’ll be including commentary from myself and my variety of sources with each pick. 

for reference, this is a somewhat plausible look at who seattle might take in the expansion draft. it’s not a prediction, because even i don’t honestly think the kraken will take some of these players, but it’s a fun simulation. it does follow expansion draft rules, and even comes under the cap (which took some last-minute finagling by me and corwin).

without further ado, let’s get into it! this list got long, so it’s all under the cut.

Anaheim Ducks: Haydn Fleury

this one comes straight from resident danton heinen fan, ergo ducks fan @dantonheinens, so thanks for your help casey! they sent me a very detailed explanation of anaheim’s expansion draft situation basically explaining that there’s a whole lot of “ands, ifs, or buts” with the ducks, but if fleury is exposed, he’s a slam dunk (slam duck? i’m sorry)

Arizona Coyotes: Christian Fischer

the one thing i know about this dude is he got wrecked in a fight with nathan mackinnon in the 2020 playoffs. this is the first of several picks on this list i borrowed from The Athletic’s mock expansion drafts, which happens if i don’t know the team and i don’t know anyone else who does. corwin and i also considered taking adin hill from the yotes, but we decided on some other goalies instead (stay tuned).

Boston Bruins: Jeremy Lauzon

i have a lot of friends who are bruins fans, so credits are owed to: corwin, casey again, alex (@patron-saint-of-boston-hockey) & luna (@kureally) & any other bruins fans in the nwhl discord, and my irl bruins friends. i got a lot of opinions on the bruins pick, including jake debrusk, jakub zboril, connor clifton, and trent frederic. but the one name almost everyone could agree on was lauzon. therefore, i’ve decided he’s headed to seattle. 

(it feels worth it to mention that at the prospect of having to take someone from the bruins, corwin said “curses be upon your name!” in an aggressively thick boston accent)

Buffalo Sabres: Rasmus Asplund

i could not tell you who this is, other than the fact that he’s one of buffalo’s three rasmuses (rasmi?). corwin and i had also talked about maybe putting anders bjork here, like i did in the last go-around, but i defaulted to The Athletic this time, and they thought asplund was a good pick, so here we are.

Calgary Flames: Mark Giordano

another pick borrowed from The Athletic, but i’ve seen predictions of giordano to the kraken a fair amount. it just seems right (and a whole lot better than corwin’s proposition of matthew tkachuk from last round).

Carolina Hurricanes: Brady Skjei

this one comes from the lovely @summerteukka, so thank you kinga! she gave me a very good rundown on the canes and the expansion draft, with the conclusion being the canes have so much defensive depth that it’s definitely going to be a defenseman, and especially if they resign dougie hamilton, skjei seems to be a likely choice. i’m all for it- we’ll have “an S and a K and a J all next to each other” on a kraken jersey.

Chicago: Adam Gaudette

similarly to the arizona pick, corwin and i considered a goalie here- in this case, it would have been malcolm subban. but he is not one of the goalies we ended up going for. instead, we opted on bringing micaela gaudette and her husband back to the pacific northwest. 

Colorado Avalanche: Ryan Graves

this is really a no-brainer. gravy is a good defenseman, but the avs have such a strong defense between cale makar, devon toews, and sam girard (and you could add erik johnson when he’s healthy), plus up-and-comers like bo byram. gravy will almost definitely be exposed, and i think he’s a great pick for seattle. plus it’s relatively painless for avs fans who also will like seattle (like yours truly).

(corwin also wanted me to mention that they want gravy traded to the bruins so he can play with curtis hall, who is basically “color-swapped ryan graves”)

Columbus Blue Jackets: Dean Kukan

another pick taken right from The Athletic. i do not know who this is, but he’s a defenseman and the writers liked this pick so i went with it. for the record, corwin really wanted this pick to be boone jenner because he has a funky name, but i wanted another defenseman, so the fun name was sacrificed for function.

Dallas Stars: Jason Dickinson

i don’t really have an explanation for this one. corwin and i were talking about the stars options and picking dickinson just felt right.

Detroit Red Wings: Vladislav Namestnikov

thanks are owed here to joce (@doubleminor) for her red wings expertise! she gave me a few players who were likely kraken bait and i picked from there. it came down to evgeny svechnikov and vladislav namestnikov, but i went with namestnikov in the end. he was with the avs for a brief period and i liked him then, plus the vibes just seem right, so here we are.

Edmonton Oilers: Tyson Barrie

really, tyson barrie was the player who started the whole kraken bait thing. corwin made the drawing, i made the first list, and the rest is history. do i actually think tyson will be going to the kraken in a week? not really. do i still really like the idea of it? 100%. therefore, i will continue to engage in my “tyson barrie to seattle” nonsense.

Florida Panthers: Chris Driedger

oh look, our first goalie! florida had some interesting skater options, but when it came down to it, corwin and i thought the cats were a good place to take a goalie from. driedger did pretty well this season, plus the panthers’ goalie situation is locked up between $10 million man bobrovsky and future star spencer knight.

Los Angeles Kings: Viktor Arvidsson

corwin was feeling pretty strong about this one, so i’m trusting their judgement. according to them, seattle expressed interest in arvidsson, so nashville traded him to the kings instead of giving him up for nothing. now the kings get to give him up for nothing, which works out pretty well, considering i had absolutely no clue who to pick from the kings. 

Minnesota Wild: Matt Dumba

like some other picks, this just seems right. i like matt dumba a lot. he seems like a fun and wholesome guy, and his activism, both on his own and with the hockey diversity alliance, is admirable. i hope he gets to display his personality and keep working to better the sport of hockey with the kraken.

Montreal Canadiens: Jake Allen

goalie number two! picking a player from the habs was weird because i got attached to them during the playoffs, but i really don’t know many of their players? so corwin and i deliberated on this a little, and after looking at our goalie situation, decided that allen was the right pick from montreal. 

Nashville Predators: Calle Jarnkrok

after doing art for and getting a featured article from the preds, corwin thinks they’re some kind of nashville expert. i originally had matt duchene here, but corwin said not him. their logic? they did art of duchene for their preds project, so they probably want to keep him around. fair point. so we went with calle jarnkrok. the logic behind that choice was simple: “calle jarn-kraken”

New Jersey Devils: Andreas Johnsson

i wish i kept a counter of how many times corwin told me “ron francis doesn’t care about your feelings!” when we were discussing the devils pick. they kept advocating for either nate bastian or mikey mcleod, but i would not stand for the superbuddies being separated. this is my kraken bait list, so my decisions. i asked a few of my devils friends for their input (props to sabs @jakejuentzel and h @bigmouthnatebastian), and in between the mild panic, andreas johnsson got tossed out. therefore, it’s mango getting shipped to seattle. does it further lower the average age of the devils? yeah, but it’ll be fine! the nhl could use some youthful chaos.

New York Islanders: Jordan Eberle

all of my kraken bait ideas for the isles came from the bardown breakdown podcast (a great listen if you like hockey and pop-punk/punk music!), since both hosts are isles fans. they had a few names tossed out, including josh bailey and casey cizikas, but corwin and i decided on eberle. like with a lot of these, right vibes.

New York Rangers: Kevin Rooney

i’ve seen two names pretty consistently for rangers kraken bait: colin blackwell and kevin rooney. is blackwell is better and therefore the more likely pick? yes. but kevin rooney is a former devil and also mocked tom wilson, so i voted he gets to go seattle.

Ottawa Senators: Chris Tierney

i don’t think i could name more than three, maybe four players on the sens, so i defaulted to The Athletic on this one. i have no idea who chris tierney is, but it works, so there we go.

Philadelphia Flyers: James Van Riemsdyk

@phillyjoel left some fantastic notes on the flyers kraken bait in the tags of my last list, giving me good evidence to tell corwin that for the last time, nolan patrick is not kraken bait. the argument i saw was that the flyers are probably going to trade patrick instead of giving him up for nothing and make cap space by giving away van riemsdyk or voracek. The Athletic liked the van riemsdyk pick, and corwin could live with it, so that’s where we settled.

Pittsburgh Penguins: Zach Aston-Reese

i honestly don’t have a whole lot of explanation for this one. another pick borrowed from The Athletic, corwin and i liked it, there we go. we considered going with kris letang, but the vibes weren’t right.

San Jose Sharks: Ryan Donato

shoutout to my sharks friend and amazing artist K (@18minutemajor) for their help! i originally had brent burns in this slot, on K’s suggestion (we had a fantastic exchange about brent burns befriending bigfoot). however, i ran into last-minute cap trouble and had to switch the pick. ryan donato came from The Athletic, but i think it’s kind of a fun pick. he’s been passed between a few teams recently, but most of what i know of ryan donato comes from the 2018 olympics (aka the first time i really watched hockey!), when he was apparently doing pretty well for team usa. 

St. Louis Blues: Vince Dunn

thank you @powerblais (and the blues fans group chat) for your input on this one! vince dunn was one of the names on the list erin sent me, and The Athletic also had him listed, so we went with it. 

Tampa Bay Lightning: Blake Coleman

thanks @heddy for responding to my out-of-the-blue message with some good input on the bolts! ana gave me some good suggestions like tyler johnson plus something else so they take on the contract, alex killorn, and ondrej palat. in the end, this devils fan defaulted to pickles. this pick is in the same category as tyson barrie- do i actually think coleman is going to the kraken? not really. do i still like the idea? absolutely.

Toronto Maple Leafs: Travis Dermott

borrowed from The Athletic and some other kraken bait predictions, because everyone has something to say about the leafs. corwin and i waffled between dermott and alexander kerfoot for this pick, but we eventually settled on dermott to seattle.

Vancouver Canucks: Madison Bowey

this pick changed so much in just one day. we originally had braden holtby here because original kraken bait, but then i ran into cap trouble. so i switched it to zack macewen, following a pick by The Athletic. but then i wanted one or two more defensemen, so i switched to madison bowey, who was the other pick from The Athletic. after all that, it seems like the right pick.

Washington Capitals: Vitek Vanecek

our third and final goalie! corwin and i had our eyes on vanecek as kraken bait for a while- a young goalie with promise and room to improve seemed like the right pick for seattle. we briefly considered tj oshie--he’s from washington state, and corwin wanted to upset caps fans (we were talking during the first round of the playoffs)--but ended up back with vanecek as our pick.

Winnipeg Jets: Mason Appleton

last pick of the list! not much to say here, though. it’s a pick borrowed from The Athletic, but we went with him over the other option from the jets because he has a fun name. to quote corwin, mason appleton sounds like “an apple pie in a mason jar on skates.”

and there you have it folks, the final kraken bait list! if you want to know the specifics, we’ve got 3 goalies, 16 forwards, and 11 defensemen, and the total cap hit is 76.4M. i’m pretty doubtful that this will be the actual expansion draft lineup, but we’ll have to see how many, if any, picks corwin and i got right. 

thanks again to everyone who helped me out, and i hope you enjoyed the chaos and commentary of the kraken bait lists!

[the-homicidediaries]

Chris Benoit

Guys.

I am so excited to talk about this.

Not because of the context, but because this is one of the reasons I love wrestling so much; there’s so much that goes on behind the scenes that people have NO CLUE about.

There have been several professional wrestlers who have killed people or been killed themselves and the rabbit hole goes deep.

(Rey Mysterio accidentally killed a man on live tv and they still have the video up on YouTube.)

(Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka murdered his girlfriend in May of 1983. Who is Jimmy Snuka? Jimmy Snuka was related to The Rock, Rikishi, and The Uso’s.)

THERE ARE SO MANY MORE THO.

But today, I want to talk about the Daddy of them all, Chris Benoit.

Chris Benoit’s crimes are so heinous and unforgivable Vince McMahon has swept his name under the rug and removed him from The Hall of Fame.

Benoit’s crimes also changed the dynamic of professional wrestling forever.

Chris Benoit was born in Montreal, Quebec to Michael and Margaret Benoit on May 21, 1967. He and his family resided in Edmonton, Alberta, however.

During Benoit’s childhood, he idolized Tom “Dynamite Kid” Billington (a British wrestler who competed in the 1980’s and had ongoing feuds with Hart) and Bret “Hitman” Hart (a Canadian-American wrestler and a member of the notorious Hart Family. He is a personal fave of mine as well).

When Benoit was 12 years old, he attended a local wrestling event where both Dynamite Kid and Hart were competing and he knew right then and there that he was destined to become a wrestler.

He trained in The Hart Family “dungeon” and was coached by none other than Stu Hart (Bret and Owen Hart’s father. If you don’t know Owen Hart, you should google him as well because he died under bizarre circumstances on live tv as well.)

When Benoit fought in the ring, he channeled both Dynamite Kid and Hart, even adopting Hart’s signature move, “Sharpshooter” as his finishing move.

Chris began wrestling in 1985 in Stu Hart’s Stampede Wrestling promotion. He was quickly recognized as a force to be reckoned with and received his first title, the Stampede British Commonwealth Mid-Heavyweight Championship, on March 18, 1988.

(This dude has a very extensive history or wrestling in New Japan Pro-Wrestling, World Champion Wrestling, Extreme Champion Wrestling, and World Wrestling Federation/Entertainment, but I just.. I cain’t get into all that, please forgive me. Haha! We are talking 22 years here! So I am humbly skipping to his family life.)

-Okay, so. I would love for this to be a romantic love story for the ages and the deaths resulted in crimes of passion, but that didn’t happen. At. All. Not at all.

You’ll see soon why this was all brushed under the rug.-

Benoit was married twice.

His first wife, Martina, and he had two children David (who is a wrestler as well) and Megan. By 1997, their marriage had broken down and Benoit and Martina decided it was best to end it.

Benoit began living with his girlfriend, Nancy Sullivan, who was the girlfriend of Benoit’s frequent opponent, Kevin Sullivan.

(It started off as an on-screen relationship for views and it led to a real-life affair. Many people joke that Kevin Sullivan booked his own divorce.)

On February 25, 2000, Benoit and Nancy’s son, Daniel, was born.

On November 23, 2000, Benoit and Nancy were married.

This 👏🏼 was 👏🏼 not 👏🏼 a 👏🏼 good 👏🏼 marriage.

In 2003, Nancy filed for divorce from Benoit, saying he would break and throw furniture and was cruel to her. She later dropped the suit as well as the restraining order she had set against him.

Benoit became good friends with fellow wrestler Eddie Guerrero, (a beloved and incredible wrestler, one of my dad’s faves), following a match in Japan, when Benoit kicked Guerrero in the head and knocked him out cold. This started a friendship that lasted even after Guerrero's death in late 2005, in which Benoit had written diary entries to him just ten days after his passing.

(I’m only mentioning this because Guerrero’s death has been rumored to be one of the reasons Benoit did what he did.)

Here’s where it gets gory.

So we know Benoit and Nancy did not have a good marriage, but things seemed to be okay because she dropped all the charges against him.

Benoit and Nancy were living in Fayetteville, GA, with 7 year old Daniel.

On June 25, 2007, police entered the Benoit home after Benoit’s WWE employers requested a welfare check after Benoit missed weekend events without notice.

(Benoit was actually scheduled to win another title during these weekend events.)

Upon arriving at his Georgia home, authorities found Nancy wrapped in a towel. She had died from asphyxiation.

Their son was also found, also dead, apparently strangled. Benoit placed a Bible next to each of their bodies.

Benoit’s body was the most disturbing to be found. The wrestler was hanged on a lat pulldown machine, with a Bible lying on the weight machine beside him. There were also allegedly 10 empty beer cans and an empty bottle of wine.

Autopsies concluded the murders and suicide took place over the course of three days.

On Friday, June 22, Chris Benoit killed his wife Nancy in an upstairs bedroom. Her limbs were bound, and her body was wrapped in a towel. A copy of the bible was left by her body. Injuries indicated that Benoit had pressed a knee into her back while pulling on a cord around her neck, causing strangulation. Officials said that there were no signs of immediate struggle. Toxicologists did find alcohol in her system, but they were unable to determine if she had been drinking prior to her death or if it was a product of decomposition.

Daniel was suffocated and killed in his bedroom, and a copy of the bible was left by his body. Daniel had internal injuries to the throat area, showing no bruises. Daniel's exact time of death is unknown. The reports determined Daniel was sedated with Xanax and likely unconscious when he was killed. Daniel's body had also just started to show signs of decomposition but was not as far along as his mother's body, so they were able to determine he was murdered after his mother.

(It was later alleged that Daniel had Fragile X syndrome, a genetic disorder that is characterized by mild to moderate intellectual disability. Physical features may include a long and narrow face, large ears, flexible fingers, and large testicles. About a third of those affected have features of autism such as problems with social interactions and delayed speech. Males are affected more than females. Daniel also had needle marks in his arm and it’s alleged that these were the result of growth hormones given to him because Benoit and his family considered him to be undersized.)

Chris Benoit committed suicide by hanging. Benoit used a weight machine cord to hang himself by creating a noose from the end of the cord on a pull-down machine from which the bar had been removed. Benoit released the weights, causing his strangulation. Benoit was found hanging from the pulley cable.

(On a podcast called The Talk is Jericho in 2016, Nancy’s sister Sandra Toffoloni divulged some more information. She said Benoit’s internet search history showed he had searched “the quickest and easiest way to break a neck”. Benoit had a towel wrapped around his neck when he committed suicide and his neck was broken instantly.)

A suicide note was not discovered, but a note written in one of the bibles Benoit had said, “I’m preparing to leave this Earth.”

A few possible motives I’ve seen people mention have included:

•CTE - Chronic traumatic encephalopathy is a neurodegenerative disease caused by repeated head injuries. Symptoms do not typically begin until years after the injuries and can include behavioral problems, mood problems, and problems with thinking. During his autopsy, it was concluded that Benoit did suffer from CTE after wrestling for so many years. (Back when they threw people from tops of cages, hit each other over the head with chairs and ladders, etc.) Autopsy experts say Benoit’s brain was so severely damaged that it resembled a 85 year old Alzheimer’s patient.

•Nancy’s abuse and filing for divorce - In February 2008, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported that Benoit was having an affair with a female WWE wrestler and Nancy found out. It was also speculated they argued over life insurance policies.

•Benoit’s alcohol abuse - Benoit abused steroids, but many people believe it was his alcohol abuse that led to these horrific murders. Many of Benoit’s colleagues attested he would drink more when problems with Nancy occurred.

•Eddie Guerrero’s death - Benoit and Guerrero and Benoit were very close. When it came out that Guerrero has died in his hotel room in November of 2005, Benoit was devastated. WWE held a televised memorial for Guerrero and when Benoit was giving his testimony, he broke down in front of the camera. Some of Benoit’s colleagues say, “he was never the same” after Guerrero’s death.

But at the expense of sounding completely heartless, (mind you, I’ve been suicidal myself), why didn’t he just commit suicide?

Why did he have to murder his wife and seven year old son? If we go with the CTE theory, it makes sense because he was not thinking rationally.

I wish Nancy had had the strength to leave him when she tried.

The night after Benoit’s body was found, WWE Raw had a televised memorial for him and his family with Vince McMahon standing in the middle of the ring breaking the news and a video montage.

No one knew he was the one who had killed his family.

When it was later revealed that Benoit had committed these crimes the episode was removed and WWE made the decision to remove nearly all mention of Benoit from their website, future publications, video games, merchandise, DVD/Blu-Rays, and future events.

Like I said.. swept him under the rug.

Benoit is now the “He Who Shall Not Be Named” of professional wrestling.

In ending this, I’d like to quote Stone Cold Steve Austin now.

“Well first and foremost, what I think about Chris Benoit is that guy was one of the most nicest guys I ever met in my life. He’s one of the most talented, hard working cats I’d ever seen in the squared circle. Anybody who knew Chris would tell you those exact two things. That guy loved the damn wrestling business, he was born to be a wrestler and was absolutely phenomenal. Drawing a lot of his influence from The Dynamite Kid, he blazed a path as the Pegasus Kid and his legacy as The Crippler Chris Benoit was just one hellacious career.

“One night, Chris ended up killing his wife and his kid. That is an act so terrible and horrible I can’t even comprehend or guess as to what happened in that house. That will always overshadow any accomplishment Chris had in the ring. He’ll never be in the Hall of Fame, it will just never happen. His career will speak for itself but his record as a human being, his first and foremost, and those actions will never be forgotten. That’s my feelings on that, we don’t even need to talk about the Hall of Fame. Speaking for myself, Chris Benoit as the person I knew, loved him. Chris Benoit as a wrestler, loved him. Chris Benoit as the person who did what he did, unforgivable. Bottom line.” – via NoDQ.com.

Pictured below are Chris and Nancy Benoit, their son Daniel, and their home in Fayetteville, Georgia.

[justingrxnt]

    Alliance for the Safety & Rescue of Magical Creatures                                                              aka                                                   The Rangers

A non-government affiliated coalition of all wizard folk who work together to end the illegal selling, breeding, and poaching of magical creatures across the world. With Outposts London, San Francisco, Montreal, Rio de Janeiro, Manilla, Kabul, Jakarta, Nuuk. They are a network of allied witches and wizards of all backgrounds, all of whom are bound by a love for magical creatures.

Founded in Mexico City in 1959, by a man known as Flavio Ibarra, he was a pioneer in humane magical habitats and was appalled by the treatment of magical creatures by the magical government in South America, especially for illegal pet breeding for their northern wealthier neighbors. Initially starting as a more militant group nearly 60 years have gone by to become a worldwide network of magical creature enthusiasts and protectors who work together to fight off poachers by creating magical preserves, fighting (and occasionally) killing poachers or imprisoning them, establishing squadrons to of people to travel highly endangered areas of magical creatures to protect, as well as transporting magical creatures from both illegal sellers and from illegal owners.

They are fondly known as the Rangers across the world, and are non-government affiliated, but often work together with larger magical creature reserves and their magical creature control departments. They are largely unpaid, volunteer work is a must, not everyone however does the same work. There are researchers who work to reestablish destroyed magical creature habitat, those who go to fight and fend off poachers, magical veterinarians as well as people who spring magical creatures who are being poached and those who retake illegal pets from owners and sellers alike. They have many ‘camps’ across the world now most notably, San Francisco, Montreal, Rio de Janeiro, Prague, Aberdeen, Yukon, St. Petersburg, Manilla, Kabul, Jakarta, and Nuuk. They are fondly called ‘camps’ by the Rangers and are the large meeting places for Rangers to get supplies, trade information and contact each other. Due to their occasional illegal work many countries have attempted to ban the Rangers despite their good deeds, citing them as anarchist environmentalists who wish to interfere with their economy. However, the Rangers have friends all over the world, and have become notorious for slipping out from government law enforcement and spiriting magical creatures from even the highest of places. Most notably they are banned from the United States but have a prominent camp on Mt. Tam near San Francisco and have re-acquired many illegal pets from large pureblood families from right under their noses including pygmy dragons and thunderbirds spells small for captivity purposes and entertainment.

They are also known for taking anyone of any background as long as they are wizard folk, including hedge wix, squibs, merfolk, trolls, goblins, elves, Veela, werewolves and vampires. Literally anyone if they are dedicated to the cause of aiding magical creatures they can join.

There are rules for being a Ranger, and joining them is a long process, you must first go to one of the Camp Requirement meetings, get sponsored by a Ranger, join on several missions until they are approved by their local Camp and can go solo or join missions. Justin is part of the London Camp and is a regular across all the Camps across the world and with his family’s circus he uses them to transport some magical creatures as well as smuggle Rangers through countries they aren’t welcome. He is an active member who does both solo missions and joins on larger collaborative ones.

                                                    R A N G E R S

Dimitri Kuznetsova | Matthew Daddario

 Durmstrang Alumni circa 1922

25

A Vampire turned during a trip to America during the Roaring 20’s Dimitri has a lifetime of experience as a veterinarian, he goes on missions where magical creatures are often wounded or injured, he is usually found in the European countries, and thus has a lot of contact with Camp Aberdeen, Camp St. Petersburg and Camp Prague. He goes mostly on solo missions, preferring to be unbothered by people, and hates the idea of scaring anyone with his vampirism. When not doing missions, he works on a Griffin reserve in the foothills of Estonia as he has for the last 50 years. He has ties with several large pureblood families in Durmstrang and has been instrumental in bringing in new revenue into the Rangers with these connections.

Hayoon Ryu | Arden Cho

Mahoutokoro Alumni

22

A native of South Korea Hayoon Ryu is a master duelist but also the heir to an apothecary empire. Exposed to the dirty underground of illegal magical creature breeding and killing for parts Hayoon sought out the Rangers and with the money from the apothecary helped set up a new camp in Busun which is extremely small. She goes on mission to capture and confront poachers, against her parent’s wishes and has a soft spot for taking back illegally breed pets especially from the rich. She gets along with almost everyone but should never be underestimated.

Violet Alder | Kathryn Prescott

Beauxbatons Alumni

20

Violet is an expert in Mermish and excels with Charmwork. She works mostly out of a large magical traveling boat, scouring the Pacific and Atlantic coast with her best friend Ariadne, a merperson, as they search for illegal water poachers and help protect the migration of protected animal species. She is well-known for sea-shanties and her sarcasm, she is fluent in 4 languages and rarely found on land. She usually finds port in Camp San Francisco and Camp St. Petersburg. 

Ariadne | Astrid Berges-Frisbey

Merperson

20

The merfolk has been a magical community that has remained in relative silence for years. Ariadne was no different, her life spent with her family wandering the ocean was met with only with a single bump in the road – Violet. Having rescued her during a hurricane, and with Violet an expert in mermish they became fast friends. Leaving her family for long breaks she goes along with The Serpent helping aquatic creatures all over the Pacific edge, their base is usually Camp San Francisco or Camp Manilla.

Orenda Youngblood | Blu Hunt

Illvermorny Alumni

18

One of many Native American students who go to Illvermorny, Orenda is a nature magic user, she can communicate with anything with fur is how she calls it, and has a specacial affinity for predators. One of the few who actually vocalize themselves with wild magic, she is a source of pride for family. However she is a bit rebellious, always off getting into scraps with poachers and causing mischief, Duke doesn’t help things either. She roams the states, checking into several different Camps, but prefers the smaller ones like Camp Yosemite and Camp Boseman.

Duke Rait | Joe Dempsie

Hedge Wix

21

One of Orenda’s friends he is a bit of an oddball, a hedge wizard he can manipulate plants on an organtic level, lovingly called Poison Oak by Orenda. He uses his power most often to grow his own weed which he partakes in often, the pair met while he was trying to restore some grasslands and he was recruited quickly to the Rangers for his ability to regrow areas of forestland and waterways with his hedge power after natural disaster. He’s also very good at destroying invasive species but really doesn’t like to do that at all.

[astonishinglegends]

Ep 204: Nain Rouge

“Suddenly across their path, trotting along the beach, advanced the uncouth figure of a dwarf, very red in the face, with a bright, glistening eye; instead of burning it froze, instead of possessing depth emitted a cold gleam like the reflection from a polished surface, bewildering and dazzling all who came within its focus.”

– Marie Caroline Watson Hamlin from her book, Legends of Le Détroit, 1884

Reference Links:

Nain Rouge on Wikipedia

“Myths and Legends of Our Own Land” by Charles M. Skinner on gutenberg.org

Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac

“Antoine de la Mothe, Sieur de Cadillac, founder of what is now Detroit” on RobinsonLibrary.com

Louis-Hector de Callière

Detroit, MI

Chateau St. Louis

Château Frontenac

“People of Detroit: Antoine de la Mothe, Sieur de Cadillac” on historydetroit.com

“The legend of Detroit’s Nain Rouge: Raising Nain” by Lee DeVito from The Detroit Metro Times

“THE RED DWARF OF DETROIT AND THE MARCHE DU NAIN ROUGE” on AbsoluteMichigan.com

1701, The Great Peace of Montreal - Part 1 of 3 on YouTube

1701, The Great Peace of Montreal - Part 2 of 3 on YouTube

1701, The Great Peace of Montreal - Part 3 of 3 on YouTube

“THE LINCOLN IMP: SURROUNDED BY MYTH AND LEGEND” on VisitLincoln.com

Will-o'-the-wisp - The Americas

John E.L. Tenney’s WeirdLectures.com website

John E.L. Tenney’s “What’s Up Weirdo” website

John E.L. Tenney’s “Realm of The Weir‪d‬” podcast

John E.L. Tenney and Jessica Knapik’s podcast on Spotify, “What's up Weirdo?”

John E.L. Tenney on Twitter

Location:

The Detroit Regional Chamber of Commerce, possibly near where author Marie Caroline Watson Hamlin in her 1884 book, Legends of Le Détroit, says Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac and his wife were strolling in the old King’s Garden, formerly “between Jefferson avenue and Woodbridge street, near the site of the present Chamber of Commerce,” when they encountered the Nain Rouge.

Related Books:

Suggested Listening:

Click here to listen to John E.L. Tenney and Jessica Knapik’s podcast on Spotify, “What's up Weirdo?”

And the What’s Up Weirdo? website

And his WeirdLectures.com website

Hear Scott and Forrest interviewed by their podcasting buddy Max Kreutzer for his comedy podcast, The Story Of, and visit his website, https://maxkreutzer.com/podcasts

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Credits:

Episode 204: Nain Rouge. Produced by Scott Philbrook & Forrest Burgess; Audio Editing by Sarah Vorhees Wendel. Sound Design by Ryan McCullough; Tess Pfeifle, Producer, and Lead Researcher; Research Support from the astonishing League of Astonishing Researchers, a.k.a. The Astonishing Research Corps, or "A.R.C." for short. Copyright 2021 Astonishing Legends Productions, LLC. All Rights Reserved.