#love and peace to all the feminine trans guys out there

[remember-digimon]

Since it's pride month and I'm a lonely queer person I decided to do a quick rundown of my hc for the DigiDestined's identities. This is disregarding the epilogue bc to heck with that let these kids be queer in peace

Now I don't like to discuss the sexuality of young children purely bc they are children and I am an adult and that's weird so I'm basing this on what little knowledge I have of them in Tri alongside what I know from 01. This is them as adults ok? ok here we go

(also um. I'm a dumb millennial that lives in a corn field so uh. If I get something wrong please correct me orz)

Tai: bisexual. As if there was any other answer. Something about him just gives off 'bisexual guy' vibes. Maybe because I think he'd be a total golden retriever boyfriend and those types are usually bi

Sora: non-binary. Her upbringing kind of forced her into being feminine when she really just doesn't want to participate in gender at all

Matt: I'm gonna say pansexual bc to him it literally does not matter. He likes who he likes. Also demisexual and possibly demiromantic. He has to have a strong connection for feelings to develop

Izzy: Ace all day babyyyy. To him, sex is for making babies, but not in a religious way. He isn't sex-repulsed, it's just not a priority

Joe: the cis-hetero ally of the group. You know he's the designated driver to all the Pride events

Mimi: LESBIAN LESBIAN LESBIAN She's a high femme lesbian and she likes other femmes, butches, chapstick lesbians, just WOMEN. and she beats up TERFs bc trans women are women DUH

TK: doesn't wanna put a label on it right now, man, he's into what he's into and he'll figure it out later, my guy. A few months later he realizes he's bi and has to call Matt at 3am bc he's having a crisis, he got an iced latte that day and the male barista smiled at him and now he's having his first Gay Panic

Kari: also bi, the Kamiya family makes bi people like they have a quota to meet. She hooked up with Yolei once and it was fun. Now they listen to Chappell Roan together ❤️

Davis: the hyperactive gay guy of the found family. Falls in love at least once a month. Is terrible at hitting on guys but they always think it's endearing

Yolei: trans girl, lesbian. The others will line up to absolutely obliterate any transphobes that give her problems. She wants an idyllic lesbian romance with absolutely no children

Cody: aro/ace and unbothered by everyone else's romantic life. Don't bring the 'Tai and Matt used to make out all the time in high school' gossip to Cody, he literally does not care lol

Ken: he is gay and hopelessly in love with Davis. He sighs dreamily as Davis tries to do parkour and smacks into the ground like a wad of wet paper

[octahyde]

🏳️‍🌈 riddle, vil, epel, and idia? :3c

thank you for the gaggle of transgender people

Riddle: gay trans guy. I respect fem/transfem Riddle stuff but honestly to me personally it (ironically considering the next one) goes against his character. His entire life and childhood he’s had femininity forced on him (note the half dress from his overblot especially) and him being a trans guy and desperately trying to break out of it just makes sense. Being gay also goes into this to a degree as well but also just look at this kid and tell me he isn’t a little gayboy.

Vil: Transhet woman. I know this one is really really REALLY controversial but… her entire story feels like a trans narrative to me. Especially as a GNC trans guy (the only “acceptable” trans hc for her in the fandom), I see a lot of my gender envy towards feminine cis men in her treatment of Epel and Neige- Neige being amab and that soft and feminine without even trying, and Epel being feminine naturally and wanting to “throw it away”, so to speak. Especially when she tries so hard to be soft and feminine and it’s never “good” enough. As for transhet I just can’t see her with girls tbh. (Also I know transfem drag queens who have gotten into the series and took one look at Vil and said she’s a trans woman just saying.)

Epel: come on we all know this kid is a trans gayboy. Idk if this specifically is a hot take but from his second year onward I REALLY want him out of pome and into savanaclaw. I’m glad he’s made peace with his appearance for the time being but everything about it is. Insane repression to me and honestly makes me uncomfortable, again as a GNC trans guy myself. Once he realizes how legitimately traumatic his first year is I can’t see him forgiving Vil or Rook for an EXTREMELY long time, if ever. Lately I’ve also been kind of interested in exploring transfem Epel too… not because he’s soft and dainty and forced into feminine roles (I think I just established how extremely uncomfortable I am with that LMAO)… but because Epel has grown up around so many strong women, and I think him idolizing them and wanting to be a strong, masculine woman specifically himself is interesting. A naturally GNC boy desiring to become a GNC woman is really interesting to me and says a lot of very profound things about gender. I also think it gives a unique spin on his relationship with Vil- he knows things aren’t limited to just men and women, and he feels stifled specifically because he wants to be a woman who does things usually expected for men. I’m still 100% masc gay guy Epel, but I think it’s some REALLY interesting food for thought about gender and what is and isn’t expected of gender roles and how that affects trans people.

Idia: Beautiful Transhet Woman, My Beautiful Wife. I really don’t know how to explain this one except she is literally a coding gaming tgirl to a T. It literally unintentionally feels like they gathered a bunch of nerdy tgirls into a room and had them workshop the most stereotypical boymoder they could LMAO. Everything about her is So Transfeminine. She very much has a jrpg loving trans woman who was Very interested in TTYD Vivian as a child energy. Especially since I joined a discord server for a queer TTYD streamer recently AKFKSKFK My bg on desktop is what it is for a reason. As for why I say transhet… well she’s a major factor in how I realized I’m a st4t transhet man. She also radiates gayboy obsessed with yaoi to fujoshi pipeline which is very much a thing AKDJSFJDN I think her being bi with a pref for guys is really cute also though. Give her a few years and online she is going to be VERY popular with the (t)ladies.

[youropinion-iswrong]

ghost trick character's genders

along with some other hcs relating to them! warnings for ghost trick spoilers and mentions of dysphoria, surgery, and pregnancy

everyone's under the cut 👍

sissel: he's a cat he doesn't know what a gender is, BUT. he was a female cat during his ten years living with yomiel (hence why he was named after yomiel's fiance). after thinking he was yomiel for a while he just. kept seeing himself as male afterwards and everyone else did too. this cat accidentally got his gender transed

lynne: a sillygirl. a sunshinegirl. a boyfriendgirl. a deadguygirl. perhaps even a puppygirl. just nonbinary woman works too though. does no sort of physical transition

missile: dog

jowd: trans man, started transitioning in like his early-mid 20s. decided to pause his medical transition to carry his and alma's child despite his dysphoria, he wouldn't do it again but he's never regretted it. now is on t and has top and bottom surgery

alma: trans woman that's also a man but not and doesn't have any gender. oh and a bit multigender. usually not genderfluid though. don't worry about it do you want chicken she's ordering some for her family. started having Gender Weirdness as a high schooler and eventually was peaceful with her gender not making sense to anyone else, because it doesn't need to! fluctuating dysphoria but the body is usually worse than social. has been on and off e throughout the years and has bottom surgery

kamila: a budding sapphic who eventually blooms into a butch lesbian. yes as her gender. also has many xenic girl varieties like her sister and general gender weirdness like her mom

cabanela: yeah i have no idea what's going on here. he simultaneously feels Very Cisgender and Very Transgender to me. idk what he is we just need to acknowledge he kind of sucks more. and that can include him being cis. either way he does drag and this is important to his gender despite not being a woman in any way

pigeon man: trans man, started transitioning within the year he quit his job at the police force. he's only binary in the sense that he doesn't give a shit about finding labels besides "man". on t with no surgeries and doesn't plan on any. everything about his transition in all three timelines is identical to the minute somehow.

yomiel: it's... complicated. he was a trans man who came out in his mid-late teens, and was on t with top surgery when he died. he had a bit of a thing about being a Normal Binary Passing Man, but being dead and unknowable with no human friends and a disconnect from his body for ten years really fucked with that. like all social conventions, he has trouble readjusting to gender in the new timeline, but he's started reconnecting with femininity and exploring more labels. mainly just says he's transmasc, still taking t.

fiansissel: trans woman with extra woman and a side of fries and dip. sorry i don't have more for you girl you have the potential to be so interesting just by being in love with yomiel but that's the *only* thing you had the time to be ingame

other random chars: memry is transfem, emma and the minister are painfully cis but supportive, amelie is a demigirl, park guy is some sort of nonbinary in an insane dollar store soda flavor way, bailey and his 'friend' are both cis but in a hand-wavey "not unpacking that" way

[asher-agere]

is it alright if I can ask for hcs for cg transmasc toya and little transfem honami? I think they’d be a fun duo.. a pair of calm ones in their respective groups

This request honestly stumped me for a bit. Their shipping wiki page is literally non existent (╥﹏╥), not that I was shipping them, just looking for interactions hehe. However I love a tough request! Makes me really think about the characters hehe

Transmasc Caregiver Toya + Transfem Little Honami

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .୧ ‧₊˚⋅ ☆

✿ These two initially meet through Saki I think! Honami sees Toya and instantly is interested, she thinks there’s more to him. And Toya is just happy to be actually approached by someone! I think they’d start talking mostly out of curiosity, but over time they’d realize that they get along really well! Like Anon said they’re both quiet souls, but they both have a lot below the surface!

✿ I think Honami would tell Toya she regresses and Toya is just like “Oh… Ok” Then he immediately goes to research all about it because he has no idea what that means. Honami gets worried when he isn’t responding (ó﹏ò｡) But then he comes back and explains! It makes her so happy that he cared enough to look into it for her hehe

✿ I think regressing with someone not directly in her friend group could actually be really good for Honami! She’d feel much less pressured to be the one taking care of everyone! She’d be able to relax without feeling super responsible and just let Toya take care of her! And Toya of course would never pressure or judge her hehe, he’s just happy to help out

✿ When Honami regresses it’s very cozy! They’ll have nice music on in the background, coloring books. Yes Toya colors too! He needs to support his baby of course! They’re both very neat and good at staying in the lines! I just finished the "Draw what you love♪Rainbow Canvas" and I think Toya would be perfect for Honami to draw with! Toya would never judge her in the slightest! And he’d get really good at guessing what she’s drawing

✿ Toya will win Honami so many stuffed animals! Anytime he’s in an arcade he’ll check the claw machines and it’s just like “Oh… Honami might like this” One or two tries and he’s got it! He’ll also check prize counters! He’ll play as many games as he needs to! If he sees something and thinks of his little one he’d gonna get it! Sometimes he accidentally gets her duplicates hehe, he’d get really embarrassed but the baby doesn’t mind. She’ll give him one so they can match!

✿ Dysphoria can be yucky for the both of them of course ૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟ ྀི꒱ა. Toya is very much so a dysphoria hoodie kind of guy! He’ll get anxious holding Honami against his chest because… Chest. But Honami is a very polite baby! She’ll be content to just rest her head in his lap or hold his hand! She’d never want to pressure him!

✿ Honami’s dysphoria can look very different. Poor baby doesn’t want to be a burden, so she tries not saying anything! But every touch makes her feel gross, if a toy looks too boy-ish she wants to throw it away. Eventually it’s all just too much and the baby bursts into tears ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡ This alerts Toya to the problem! And he can switch up his comforting methods!

✿ He’ll pick out some cute clothes for Honami, then let her change in peace! He’ll be waiting right outside her room though of course! While she’s changing Toya will get important equipment. A pacifier that has some kind of feminine pet name on the handle (Baby Girl, Little Girl, Princess, etc.), a warm pink blanket, a get a bottle filled with some apple juice!

✿ I think that Honami would love baking when she’s feeling dysphoric because baking is generally seen as a feminine thing to do! Obviously that’s foolish and she knows that, but meeting those gender norms is very comforting (Coming from someone who got into football when I was experimenting as a trans boy). And Toya will happily help the baby bake!

✿ Pet names! My favorite part hehe. In general I think Toya would use a mixture of three things! Classic pet names “Baby” “Little One” “Sweetheart”, pet names based on Honami’s interests “Apple of my eye” “Little Drummer” “Astro-Baby”, and gender confirming pet names! “Baby Girl” “Little Girl” “Princess”

° ᡣ𐭩 . ° .୧ ‧₊˚⋅ ☆

I hope you enjoyed! I struggled a bit with this one, but doing research and really studying the characters like this helps me understand them a lot better! So I’m very happy I got this request! Thanks Anon!

[h0t-p1nk-ch33tah-pr1nt]

idk if u wanted any asks in particular but! i’ve been wanting to ask abt tad and the other character you haven’t expanded on! you’ve DEF said their name but it just slipped my mind. and i think tad is pretty

nd yeah i get abt being bored, this week’s been weird for me and i just hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself :3

I KNOW IT AINT ARES BC I CANT KEEP MY MOUTJ SHUT!!!! I'll talk abt scout and tad :3

Tad, she's the oldest out out of the gang being 28, her family is originally from Malaysia! English is her second language lolzies but her family moved due to her father's job and the fact he cheated on tads mom with her step mom,,,,, anywho. Florida time baby, Tad is the middle child of like 2 bio sisters and 2 of step siblings,

Tad does not like her father one bit, he's way to confident for his own good sorta man and she always felt outcasted bc she never could find her "thing" her father cared abt the only guy in the family, while her and her sisters were expected to be out of his hair, and her step mom wasn't around much, she claims she loves him but in reality him and her was a one night sorta thing, she got preggers and they felt like they needed to get married. So Tad learned to be a adult at a very young age, the closest thing I can compare her too is Lin beifong from legend of korra, a strong sense of justice but Tad never wanted to follow her father's footsteps, she just wanted to see her mom again.

Tad is very hard headed, being planned and critical of what she does because she needs a plan to work, it's very hard for her to relax because of her dreaded office job she has rn, surprise, surprise her father got her the job when the brother dropped out of High-school, tad finds a lot of peace in photography tho, keeping photos of everything she finds mildly interesting,

I don't like the trope of being the group mom, she's not by no means, her love is very tough, but she is soft bellied when it comes to her friends, being ares and Mel are her childhood friends, scout and her still but heads, but tad loosens her grip over time to not be so plan oriented and try to at least go with her gut that she suppressed during her childhood.

SCOUT. Scout, his real name is Scott actually, but man is trans, he has known this at a very young age, but his family is one of the more wealthy in general! Growing up rich, he was a stereotypical rebel, even if his parents are both vampires/bats, they always claimed he went against god, they wanted him to grow up as a girl, to have a perfect image for the families name.

It was his uncle that helped Scout, his uncle is also a trans man, Scot never really heard from his uncle bc of his dad's suppression, but when he did the uncle and him clicked, and Scout officially came to term with his trans identity bc of him, but his parents where outraged, kicking him out at 16, he had to stay with his uncle.

Scout is 23 rn in the story, being the youngest and he is very boyish, he is actually a baseball player for the city. And a popular one at that, he is arrogant and frantic when it comes to his choices, he keeps stocking up on blood and when his friends come over all they find are red dye 40 in his fridge.

Scout can also be seen as insecure, his big part is trying to pass as a man fully, not wanting to participate in anything feminine or "girly" bc he is afraid to do so, overtime due to the groups influence and Ares, Ares plays a big role for scout, since he told Ares first abt his transition yk "man to man" and then he told the girls, Ares has kinda taught him that, you may look masculine, but enjoy the things you love, why care about publics perception of you, when you are your own person, they are bros!

Overall during that development scout has become more carefree of what others thing, he is insanely loyal, even if his apartment is a slob, if you complain about the sink not working you bet ur ass he will watch so many vhs tapes he'll become a mechanic.

[soullikethesea]

I really needed to journal. Wrote five pages!

There's so much to process. I decided that I *will* actually do the tantra workshop. 😱 It's mostly about getting to know yourself and learning to feel what you want/do not want and express that to another person. It seems like something I need if I to develop further as a person/adult, but it is certainly tricky and it's hard to tell whether it is already the right time for something like this. I mean, I struggled a TON with the haptotherapy. I think that was maybe also the setting... alone, isolated. And the therapist I tried was a guy. I made sure to sign up for an all-women's day for the workshop. I'm quite certain that being around men would give me Bf flashbacks.

So there's that... I read the first book of Heartstopper as well and I cried so much. Fox's pain. Not being accepted... ouchie ouch.

It makes me think of that time when I was around 12 and a random boy punched me in the street. I was with my friend and he was with a friend as well. My friend exclaimed: "She's a girl!" and he stopped. Said he'd mistaken me for a brother of someone he knew... it seemed fake - it was probably a dare or something like that. But yeah, it felt so strange to be punched by a random person. I was quite shocked that being more like myself had this effect. During that time I felt unsafe in general from the bullying and the stuff at home as well. I was growing into a different stage in life: now free to leave the house alone, go for runs in the park.

It was painful to be around most other children. I basically only had that one friend, who later turned out to be a trans guy, btw. I wasn't sure if I was gay, I didn't really want anything to do with girls my age and that made me doubt that idea. (They were mostly mean girls). I liked being with a guy while being perceived as a guy, but not as a girl. Most people thought I was a boy during that time.

Later I felt like I had to surrender to becoming more feminine, because I'd never heard of binders and yeah... my face and my hips were more obviously female. I developed really bad posture trying to hide my chest. But other than that I felt like there wasn't much I could do to feel more comfortable. At some point I remember asking in a bra shop if I could at least get a bra where it seemed like I just had one boob bump in my shirt instead of two. Kind of a funny/weird question. Turns out that it is something that hinges on wearing tighter shirts...

Anyway, so later on I started to feel more comfortable as a woman. It really started feeling like that once I started sports. I love what my body can do & I love to be strong. It helps me be more at peace. I don't look androgynous, but it makes me feel more like it. More comfortable.

So, now I'm trying to coax Fox into feeling the comfort as well. I know it's more tolerable for him now that we have broad shoulders. We can be a woman in our own way.

And I always felt like I was a strange girl, but I think I was a pretty average gay girl. A nerdy one, obsessed with imaginative play and nature. But yeah. How some girls are - aside from the mean girl types - and, I guess, how some gay girls are.

[cassidyxcooke]

[nonbinary, she/they] Welcome to Aurora Bay, [CASSIDY COOKE]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [MAYA HAWKE]. You must be the [TWENTY-THREE] year old [STUDENT, MUSEUM TOUR GUIDE]. Word is you’re [FUN-LOVING] but can also be a bit [RESTLESS] and your favorite song is [ QUANTUM PHYSICS BY RUBY WATERS]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [AURORA BAY TOWERS]. I’m sure you’ll love it! @aurorabayaesthetic

tw: mentions of homophobia and transphobia.

Name: cassidy elise cooke Gender: non-binary Pronouns: she/they Age: twenty-three Birthdate: nov 29th ( sagittarius sun. cancer moon. scorpio rising ) Sexual Orientation: pansexual Romantic Orientation: panromantic Profession: student (graphic design major). museum tour guide Positive Traits: adventurous. determined. empathetic. optimistic Negative Traits: blunt. secretive. dramatic. moody.

Details:

Cassidy was born and raised in Aurora Bay by their father Kieran Cooke and their paternal grandparents, Declan and Bridget Cooke. Their mother was never in the picture.

They have three older brothers, all with a pretty solid age gap between. The closet being 8 years older.

Cass is convinced their only half siblings and that their father got someone pregnant who was already married or couldn't afford a kid.

No one has ever given them a straight answer, which only fueled Cassidy's obsession with mysteries. They love to solve even the smallest of them, likely since their unsure if they'll ever figure out the one they want most.

They read a lot as a kid and was always writing or drawing. They kept a journal full of all their theories, stories and just general gossip. Something small they could carry with them when they were out exploring and playing.

They were a very active kid, often found in a tree or some high place, sprawled out and writing. Or with their father and grandfather, taking apart cars or building.

It was obvious at a young age, Cassidy wasn't a girlie girl. It didn't bother their grandparent as much as it did Kieran. Bridget tried to encourage more "feminine" things, but the only things Cass was interested in learning from them was how to garden and cook. And that became enough.

Eventually everyone made peace with it. Was it a long road? Sure. They fought with their father constantly. Eventually their name was met with a long sigh or a grumble when they got into fights, stuck their nose where it didn't belong or didn't conform to the things he felt she should be doing or be interested it. It was fine. Begrudgingly so, but fine all the same. It was the same when they came out in middle school and by the time they hit high school, it was something just accepted about them. Not celebrated, but tolerated and yeah, that was enough for everyone. For a while anyway.

Cassidy wasn't the best student. They talked too much, spent too much time doodling or writing or after joining up with the school paper, uncovering drama. They considered themselves a bit of a crusader for the little guy/girl/person. Though their tactics have never been particularly tactful and a bit...exaggerated. You hated them or loved them and Cass was ok with it being more of the former than the latter.

Most would think journalism was the obvious choice by the time they graduated. But Cass decided to take a different route, leaning more into their art and design skills. Their reason? Actually pursuing it would make it more work than fun. Plus they wanted to take some time between, a gap year or two, to explore. Do their own thing.

They bounced around, doing freelance design for money and other odd jobs for two years. And in those years discovered more about themselves and others, including the fact they were more than just gay, but trans/non-binary. It was freeing to finally have the language to describe what they felt and the time and space to explore it outside of the thinly layered tolerance at home.

A home they returned to due to a discounted tuition grant once their older sibling, a professor, hit the qualifications. They decided to officially pursue a degree in design. They haven't come out as non-binary to their family, or rather their father/grandparents. They know it's not something they'd understand and really don't want the fight even though it eats at them.

Living in Aurora Bay Towers makes it easier to live their life without the strain of it all though. And really, life back in Aurora Bay has been pretty great for the last three years. Their last year is sure to be just as good, especially after joining the student paper. It was bound to happen eventually, call it a siren's call if you will. But yeah, they still dabble in freelance design, get to hang out/work at the art museum whenever and yeah, life's pretty good.

Connections:

eden o'connell // rival.

Wanted Connections:

can I say everything?

a best friend. artist buddies. unlikely friends. drinking buddies. muses. positive influences. a tutor. a roommate maybe?

annoyances. frienemies. oil & water. bad vibes

flirts. one night stands. fwbs. crushes. ewb. make out buddies. dates. once you have their attention it can be intense but she falls in and out of feelings quickly. wants to find that person though and isn’t afraid of trying on every shoe till one fits.

like this and i’ll come to you for some plotting.

[trickster-tabby]

Big Day

Shane is getting married to farmer Graves today! As he's getting ready for the ceremony, Elliott and Sebastian come in to help him and notice he isn't wearing a tuxedo... When they ask him why, he explains a bit of his past.

Pairing: Grane

Warnings: a trans man referring to his younger self as "she"

Shane smiled to himself in the mirror as he fixed his hair. It was his big day, and he was determined to look good for it.

It was hard to believe that just barely over a year ago, Shane was rudely telling Graves to leave him alone... And now they're getting married.

He looked over to the mannequin next to the vanity, smiling at the fancy clothes he'd picked out for the wedding. But as he did, he was suddenly filled with anxiety.

He sighed and shook his head, taking care to not mess up his hair. He stared into the mirror and said to himself, "Well, Shane, you've been through a lot... This is nothing, you can do it."

He heard a knock at the door. He turned and called out to whoever was there.

"Come in!"

In stepped Elliott wearing a cute, fancy dress and Sebastian wearing a neat suit.

"Hey, guys! I was just finishing up. I'm almost ready."

Elliott smiled warmly at his friend. "Well, we're just here to help if you need any."

"I think I'm good." Shane returned his gaze to the mirror. "Wait, actually... I'll need help lacing up my dress."

Sebastian glanced over at the mannequin, doing a double take as he saw a beautiful, Victorian-style purple gown with white details.

"You're wearing a dress?" he asked.

Shane chuckled awkwardly. "Uh... Yeah. It's pretty, isn't it?" He gently pulled it off the mannequin and started putting it on.

Elliott stepped over to help him get dressed. "It's gorgeous, Shane!"

"Wait, why are you wearing this? I thought you said feminine clothes make you dysphoric..." Sebastian crossed an arm over his own chest, all too familiar with the concept of gender dysphoria.

Shane sighed. "Well, normally that's true. But..." He paused to think for a moment. "Can I tell you a story?"

Elliott slowed his lacing of the dress to signal he was listening. Sebastian sat in a nearby chair.

Shane took a deep breath. "So, I always talk about my younger self as if she's a different person, right? Well, that's how I see her.

When we were a little girl, she always saw in movies that the princesses would always fall in love, be obsessed with a boy... Getting married was the happy ending."

"I remember feeling the same way when I was little." Sebastian chimed in.

"So, she thought she should be obsessed with marriage, like all the other girls seemed to be. She tricked herself into being just that... Obsessed with marriage."

Elliott pulled the laces of the dress into an elegant bow. "How so?"

"Oh, you know. Thinking about boys... Forcing herself to believe she had a crush... Hyperfixating on a local news anchor... Fantasizing about characters from movies... Wrapping blankets around herself, and pretending that was her dress, and she was on the altar." Shane laughed as he recalled his childhood fantasies.

Suddenly, his expression shifted. He looked sad. He sighed again. "...Im happy with my present, but... I miss that little girl. And in my transition, I... I haven't been very nice to her."

Shane turned to face Elliott and Sebastian, who both offered looks of sympathy.

"I feel... I feel like this is my way of apologizing to her; letting her have the dress she always dreamed of."

Shane clasped his hands in front of him, turning back to the mirror and seeing how beautiful he looked.

"Maybe then she can finally have peace."

Elliott stepped forward and laid his hands on Shane's shoulders. "That's... That's beautiful."

Shane smiled. "Thank you."

Sebastian stood up. "I think she'd like to know you're doing this for her."

Shane nodded slowly, reached out to the vanity, picked up his veil and slipped it onto his head. "I think so too."

The three of them looked into the mirror at Shane's dress for a moment, before Shane turned and started for the door.

"Welp. I better not keep my groom waiting. Let's go, guys."

As he stepped through the door into the sunlight and saw Graves standing on the altar in his tuxedo, Shane officially entered his big day.

@catboygirlboss

[madladmorty]

Hey, I’m so sorry I know you don’t know me and I’m not following you, I don’t mean to pry or invade your privacy I’d just love to share something with you more like I need you, I’m Ameera 23 years old, and I’m calling out to the community 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 to please support us so me and my girlfriend can come out, we have dreams about going for pride rallies,clubs, to be able to kiss in a park express love with no restrictions or fear of being caught, we are both from a typical religious Muslim family, we are know as best friends by our families and friends, we have made this decision to come out to everyone so many times but couldn’t because of how homophobic our parents are due to religious values and ethics. Any one from a typical religious Muslim family can attest to how important it is to follow the rules and moral that are in the holy Quran, So we have come to a conclusion to be ready and be prepared for the worst, Cause the price we may have to pay is to lose our families and maybe friends and of course their support, so we have decided to get an apartment and move in together and start a new life where we can freely be who we really are, and here is where we need your support, though we both work and have some money saved up, but we still need help, getting and setting up an apartment is a lot so we will definitely need all the love and support we can get(donation link pinned on page), Thank you for your donations so far,but we are still 37% to the goal so please add your own bit,I know everyone have one or two things we go through, and this is not me imposing on any one to help, but if you can with how ever little, it will be so much appreciated, and if you can’t, kindly reach out to encourage us cause we also need that as much,This is the biggest and hardest decision we have ever had to make and please share to whoever you feel can help. We shall draw strength from the pride to pull through this, I’M NOT A SCAM feel free to go through my page or do whatever to confirm and my DM is open if you have questions or requests to clear your doubts, I believe pride is for all

Hello Ameera!

I'm so sorry but my broke ass can't donate, I'm just a little bi disaster trans boy and art student. However, you ever need a cheerleader or an emotional demon I'm right here. I hope all goes well for you and your girlfriend, I absolutely feel you guys. I'm looking into trying to save up over time with my friends to get a property in rural-ish Wales where we can all be queer in peace. my family is forcing me into the closet against my will because I'm supposedly "too feminine to really be trans" which is crushing me every day a little bit more. unsupportive families are truly a tough thing to deal with. they brush it off as nothing because they never saw it while I'm here struggling to get out of bed because of dysphoria. I want to help in any way I can. my comments sections and ask box are always open to you, don't hesitate to message if you need a boost.

[valleyfthdolls]

CASSIDY HCS CASSIDY HCS! GIMME THEM NEOOWW

GLADLY!!

First and foremost I am a firm cassidyvictim believer so that’s what all of these are gonna be

Cassidy is the outcast of the Afton family, and a bit of a recluse.

He’s misanthropic, pessimistic, and constantly afraid and hurt. He feels completely alienated from the world. But he also has a big heart and feels very deeply and very intensely for any children who show him kindness or are in similar spots.

His pessimism is barely unfounded in his life, because of the abuse and tragedy he’s surrounded by.

He’s also autistic, which ultimately gets him brushed off and mistreated more. While he’s good at problem solving and very inquisitive and ruminative, most people don’t realize how smart he is, because he has such a hard time expressing himself.

He prefers to not talk.

His name isn’t exclusively feminine, but even in the 70s and 80s it was becoming more feminized- this ties to my headcanon that Cassidy is a trans boy. He may have simply kept his name because he liked it, or it still felt like him or felt wrong to change it.

He loves stuffed animals and puppets, his favorite shows are Fraggle Rock, The Muppet Show, and of course Fredbear & Friends.

He’s not much of an artist, but he’s pretty good at writing things out. He prefers it to express himself over talking. However, he mostly just talks minimally.

He’s often bruised from bullying and abuse, and tends to flinch when touched. It’s also part of why he feels more comfortable with long sleeves, although in the game he wears short sleeves it is probably summer (it looks warm and bright out, but none of the kids are in school during the week- most likely summer) and I think he feels safer in longer sleeves.

His room has glow in the dark stars on the walls, I don’t know why I headcanon this but they comfort him because of his fear of the dark.

He is extremely emotional. It happens as a result of depression, unregulated anxiety and fear responses, trauma, repressed anger, and constant stress.

He likes soft things- soft toys like teddy bears, soft clothes like sweatshirts, soft foods like soup or pancakes, etc.

His favorite color is blue. Second favorite is yellow.

He is very dangerous as a spirit, but honestly kind of horrified by the damage he causes. Since his scream is heard at the end of the fnaf 1 night 4 call I imagine he killed the phone guy, but I also don’t think he’s really okay with it. He’s not okay with ANY of this, and especially not the feeling of hot, sticky blood on his hands, the way Michael must have felt after killing him.

He has a tendency to turn his legs in, cross his arms (or do raptor hands), curl up when sitting or laying down. He likes sleeping under weighted blankets in oversized clothes, and he doesn’t mind his hair a bit shaggy to the point it starts to cover his face. He likes being small, unnoticeable, because at least then he’s alone in this world in peace.

He genuinely adores his Fredbear plush. Brings it everywhere, talks to it, plays with it- it’s his biggest comfort item, and he always feels better with it around.

[merulanoir]

I posted 7,760 times in 2022

That's 1,916 more posts than 2021!

317 posts created (4%)

7,443 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@flowers-all-around-me

@sorrelchestnut

@vaspider

@geardrops

@cat-boy-tits

I tagged 2,862 of my posts in 2022

#dishonored - 297 posts

#blackbirb babbles - 201 posts

#our flag means death - 139 posts

#dnd - 117 posts

#judaism - 82 posts

#dragon age - 70 posts

#horizon forbidden west - 57 posts

#disco elysium - 56 posts

#death stranding - 47 posts

#the witcher - 46 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#id feel so much more welcome at a pride thats a riot and welcomes kinky people than at whatever sanitized toothless crap some folks promote

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Fucking hate the feeling when you're bored and your brain hurts because it craves engagement but at the same time nothing feels appealing, no hobby or videogame or activity feels like worth the effort, so you just sit on the couch like

>:(

219 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

#4

Some days the executive really dysfunctions huh.

351 notes - Posted March 24, 2022

#3

I continue being amazed just how much of an effect starting hrt had on my sexuality. I used to think I was attracted to guys and masc-presenting people, but sike! My crushes on guys were 90% my debilitating dysphoria going gotta be one of my favorite genders, that.

I've been on T for 1.5 years, and in that time I've done something of a 180; I get weak in the knees for femmes and feminine people. I have zero wish to be feminine myself, but....girls pretty......

This has been (and keeps being) an interesting journey. I very much identify as "just some guy" but I can't deny feeling a massive kinship with butches and he/him lesbians. I present fairly binary in my irl life just for safety reasons, but everything about how I experience attraction, gender, and sexuality is profoundly queer.

This also goes to show how sometimes you won't know everything about yourself before the blaring alarm of dysphoria is finally addressed and silenced. I just want to give a shout-out to everyone who thought they were flavor A, only to later change their mind. Having the headspace to figure this stuff out is priceless. Obviously most people probably know their sexuality before transition, but I just want to reiterate that it's okay if you don't. Seems like I didn't.

Before life settled down, these kinds of odd and even contradictory vibes would have made me anxious. I would have felt like I have to pick one and own it a 100%. Now I'm just...kind of content to sit with these ideas. Maybe one will grow bigger than the others. Maybe not. All this comes before I even touch the fact that I'm some flavor of aroace. :D

I've become more private in recent years but maybe sharing this insight will help someone. I'm 31, which isn't that old, but I know I would have needed examples of older (not old, lmao) folks transitioning. Especially with the recent resurgence of TERF bullshit and hate against trans guys and transmasc people, I feel it's important to show that the people behind online handles are both more complicated than you'd think AND that they're still. Just some guy.

Peace, and happy pride month. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

523 notes - Posted June 14, 2022

#2

I fucking love it here, I'm never leaving Tumblr.

525 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

My partner was mailing me a care package and she asked if I'd like "a Kim Kitsuragi print."

Obviously I said yes, thinking she meant, like, a printed picture.

WRONG

See the full post

6,889 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[izzy-writes]

meet the main characters of my book!

you're gonna be hearing a lot about these idiots

#1: Laurie! (he/him)

Laurence Ashcroft-Gastrell (it's a mouthful, I know) is a totally normal 16 year old guy. His hobbies include reading and writing poetry, playing piano and desperately yearning for the ordinary human life he'll never be able to live because he was born a vampire. That's right - born. I really fucked around with vampire lore when making this guy.

Laurie lives in a ridiculously stereotypical goth mansion with his mothers - the severe and traditional Cecily and the gentle Marceline. They want nothing more than to keep their son safe from the dangers of the world, and they've succeeded! But in the process, they've raised a lonely and isolated young man who wants nothing more than to get away from them.

The story begins with Laurie finally enrolling at the local school, where he makes his first-ever friends, falls in love and gets roped into solving a case of mysterious deaths and battling an ancient evil. Not exactly the ordinary life he'd hoped for.

#2: Lola! (they/them)

Lola Amadi, first and foremost, is an artist. And as an artist, self expression and authenticity are among the most important things in the world for them. That's why they don't water themself down for anyone, even it means they've ended up with no friends. And although they're doing their very best to deal with the mental health issues inevitably caused by losing their mum as a child and living with ADHD, it's hard not to feel a little lonely sometimes.

Still, Lola makes a habit out of 'collecting' interesting people - the new boy who dresses like a Victorian goth and loves poetry, the eccentric leader of the school's Supernatural Investigators Club, the antisocial teen prophet plagued with visions of impending doom... Lola has always fit in better with the outsiders. In fact, it's thanks to them that this little group of outcasts even came together in the first place!

Life's not so bad when you find your people.

#3: Daria! (she/her)

Daria Levy is interested in just one thing, and that's the supernatural. It's been her special interest for years now, and she's determined to finally find some hard evidence of the paranormal in Willowbrook. There's a reason she's the leader of the Supernatural Investigators Club (it's because she founded it. And she's the only member).

Sure, it can be a little lonely having no one to talk to about the one thing that fascinates you most in the world and, yes, it's discouraging to have people make fun of you for believing in what you know must be out there somewhere. But those people are about to be proven wrong, because the moment Daria's been waiting for her whole life is finally here: a vampire has enrolled at Willowbrook High School, and she's going to be the one to learn everything she can about him.

#4: Angel! (she/he)

No one understand Angel Edwards. She's explained a million times that she's bigender, but her mum thinks she's just a trans girl, and her dad insists she's just a feminine guy. And he isn't going to hang around with anyone else for long enough to find out what they think. Who needs friends when you've got Bowie, anyway?

Except the weird dreams Angel's been dealing with since she was a kid are getting worse and worse, and there's only so long that you can deny they might mean something more than stress at school. There's only one place Angel can go where someone might be able to make sense of it all, and it's the Supernatural Investigators Club.

#5: Sebastian! (he/him)

As a trans guy, there's not much in the world that Sebastian Bautista can control. The mirror reflects a face he doesn't recognise, and the friends he used to have refuse to see him for the man he is. But, through the camera lens, he can shape the world into what he wants it to be. A world of beauty and of peace. A world where he is exactly the person he wants to be.

And Sebastian really is content alone, working on his photography and hanging out with the family dog. But his parents won't stop worrying about him making friends. Deep down, he knows they're right but after losing his friends just because he came out, he's afraid that no one will love the real him.

But after he photographs a strange and inexplicable phenomena in the sky, Sebastian is forced to rely on the people around him to figure out what on earth caused it, and it turns out solving a supernatural mystery is a sure fire way to accidentally stumble into the best friendships you've ever had.

[xaren-jo]

nicely put! and there are great additions in the notes as well.

these questions confounded me for ages, too. and i'm trans myself.

as a kid, i was fine with whatever toys i was given - dolls, cars, building blocks, whatever. (realistic animal plushies were my faves though. i loved animals.) i liked wearing dresses, too. it's when i grew old enough to kinda sorta understand gender and gender roles that i became uncomfortable with being seen as a girl, and therefore also uncomfortable with the gendered expectations that came with it. i guess my internal sense of self was more "boy", or at least "non-girl".

of course, i didn't have the words for it back then. and everyone kept telling me i was a girl, and they had to be right, yeah? adults always knew best. so i really leaned into being "not like the other girls". (being nd also probably had something to do with that.) i was very vocal about hating the color pink and "chick flicks", and i thought the physical affection girls shared between themselves was gay, so you wouldn't catch me dead kissing my girl friends on the cheek or hugging them. (not that i had many friends, being the weird kid.)

i was ashamed of any femme inclinations i found within myself and tried to suppress them. it seemed to me that if i liked this femmy thing, or acted in that femmy way, it was proof that i really was a girly girl and everyone was right about me.

on the other hand, i preened myself when i was told that my way of thinking was masc, or that i did something "like a man". if i was denied some masculine thing or activity, or told that i was just inherently incapable of being manly, it felt like a heavy blow.

as a teenager, i was happiest when friends irl or internet strangers on anonymous boards referred to me as "he". when i caught a glimpse of myself in some reflective surface and found that i looked like a guy, moved like a guy, i felt euphoric.

in my late teens and twenties i was made to believe that i couldn't be anything other than a woman, so i tried to make peace with it. i didn't really understand what it meant to be a woman though, so i decided that it meant allowing myself to play with feminine things and behaviours that i had largely denied myself before. at times, it felt forced, but it was a valuable experience nonetheless.

it was still a staunch "no" from me to the whole becoming a wife and mother thing, and culturally, these things seemed to be at the very core of womanhood. but i knew that there were different kinds of women out there, so i figured that i'll just have to mess around and find out what kind of woman i was growing up into.

except i still felt like an impostor when i was seen as a woman, and there was that weird pang of wrongness whenever i was referred to as a woman, too. i felt like an infiltrator in women's spaces. it was like i was getting away with something, as if i was about to get found out and kicked out at any moment. and that's even though i haven't been read as anything other than female by people irl my entire life.

and i still felt happiest whenever i looked in the mirror and thought that i looked kinda guyish. i felt joy when i looked at men, taking note of their appearance and mannerisms and noticing similarities between us. being accepted into all-male friend groups was very validating. it felt great to imagine my body as more male-like, and i felt deep sadness whenever i was reminded that my body wasn't male, couldn't be male.

and i still managed to be in denial about being trans for another decade :D i only came to terms with it very recently.

so, yeah. it's a confusing experience. especially now that i know that gender roles are bullshit, and how arbitrary "masculine" and "feminine" roles are. and even the male-female binary is bullshit, actually. it doesn't make sense to me why i'm happier one way and not the other, i just am.

hi, so i do have a question regarding trans people- i completely support trans people and people should have the right to do whatever they want to as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, and i would never side with those who try to take away someone's autonomy. that being said, why do people want to be the specific genders(men, women)- what exactly does one feel? is it identifying with gender stereotypes? wanting the other kind of body? i can understand why someone would want to be enby, but can't seem to understand specific reasons why people would want to be transmasc or transfem etc. i've read posts before where people have wanted to be women/men because of gender stereotypes- they wanted to play with dolls/liked feminine/masculine colors/clothes etc. but it's obviously something that shouldn't be stereotyped against and anyone should be allowed to play/like anything they want to, whether it's feminine or masculine. so what exactly is it that makes people want to be either? again, though even if i didn't understand why someone else felt that way, i fully support them.

I'm not even transgender in any flavor so I'm not the best person to ask, but I'm pretty sure the answer is going to be individual for every person.

I think like, the larger society has latched onto the narrative of "I always wanted to play with 'girl' toys and do 'girly' things" because that's what makes sense to a cisgender audience in a culture where behavior and clothing and toys are very obviously gendered.

But that's not, like, what "makes" someone transgender—it's a way of explaining it.

I mean, okay, maybe I can talk about this a little. I'm a cis woman. I've thought about it! I like being female, it feels comfortable to me, and experimentally imagining anything else feels...bad.

This has nothing to do with gender stereotypes—I don't shave, I don't wear makeup, I usually cut my hair super-short, I'll wear my brothers' clothes if I like them, I always actively hated the "girl" toys as a kid (though I was never labeled a 'tomboy'—I feel like autism overpowered any specific gendered label that would otherwise apply to me, for complicated reasons. I was a Weird kid). It's just...I don't know. It's nice when one of my friends in chat in a game i'm playing calls me "she"—like hell yeah! Your mental concept of me is a girl :D

If anything, I started to feel more "woman" when I started dressing and styling more masculine—it was actually seeing pictures of butch lesbians online that made me see an image of myself I liked for the first time. I wanted to be a woman who's like a guy at the auto parts store.

I think some people just have no internal sense at all about their gender, and some of these people probably ID as non-binary, and some of these people probably just identify with whatever they were assigned because that's what's convenient. There are no wrong answers here, right?

And some people have a really strong unwavering internal sense about it, and it's not exactly able to be distilled down to feelings about your body or clothes or interests or whatever, but it exists. I know that I "feel" like a woman even though I couldn't say why. It's somewhere in between "this feels accurate" and "this feels nice."

[tightsituationsblog]

Hi everyone. It’s a little while now since I began this blog so I just wanted to comment on some aspects. To those of you who have followed me, thank you kindly, I appreciate your taking the time and finding sufficient interest to take that step. Some of you have been in touch with me & it’s lovely to have your feedback & views. Others have visited, commented &, in some cases followed, however I’ve chosen to block further contact. This will be for one of the following reasons:

I have found an empty blog when returning your visit - I don’t trust empty blogs!

I have found material I personally find offensive to me, to LGBQT people, to women (CIS & Trans). Possibly your material is just plain gross - BLOCKED!

My personal image is that I, perhaps strangely, consider myself a straight guy, but with a very dominant feminine trait, which I attempt to satisfy by cross dressing in female clothes. My absolute preference sexually is for women of all persuasions & appearances, although it will be apparent from my blog, that I am attracted to an elegant, very feminine or girly stereotype. I consider myself & describe myself as a lipstick lesbian.

I suffer terribly from gender envy when it comes to women. I totally realise that being a woman is far far more than just a license to wear sensual, colourful attractive clothes, make-up, hairstyles, hosiery & high heels. Life as a woman in this world can can be pretty damned awful. Women are abused, (especially by men), women have periods & menstrual complications which men such as me can never fully comprehend. Many women are born into societies where they are subjected to horrific practices such as genital mutilation & starved of education & basic freedoms which I take for granted. I do not take any of these issues lightly. I believe in feminism. I believe that men, women & LGBQT people are all equals. Please RESPECT these views if you visit my blog or follow me.

My journey of self-discovery is one which has gone through many phases over the years. From a very early age I had an abnormal interest in women’s hosiery in particular. I put this down to growing up in a house with three women where I constantly saw, & was intrigued by the differences in the clothes we wore. As puberty arrived mail order catalogues, with their lingerie pages, became my study material. I became besotted by the curvy shapes of a woman’s body. I found myself reading more & more about what it meant to be a woman. Their access to fashions enthralled me. I wanted to try it for myself. The more relationships I had with women & female friends the more I became obsessed. Crossdressing began with trying a sister’s stocking on my leg - it felt good- I was hooked.

It never ends there however. I still can’t totally explain why I do what I do, however, I know now that it will not leave me. As I’ve read on other’s sites, we frequently decide that enough is enough, pledge to stop, & purge our collections of tights, skirts, dresses, lingerie, make-up, wigs & shoes only to begin again a few weeks, months or whatever down the line. The curiosity & desire to take one step further next time only becomes more prevalent.

For many, especially today, the journey will conclude with full transition from male to female (I recognise many women also wish to transition to male). I hope that all will find peace, comfort & health when they reach that goal. For me I possibly would have considered that option if there had been more general understanding & compassion for transgendered, dysphoric individuals when I was younger. I’m still not certain that’s what I truly desired. I’ve enjoyed my male life. I’ve had gloriously passionate relationships with lovely, lovely women. I’ve also been able to escape to being Linda - to striving to enjoy that small part of being part of the girls club. I wish it could be more.

I also wish I could show more than just below the waist shots, however I am not out, or indeed brave enough to do so. I greatly admire those of you who have felt sufficiently liberated & confident. You are all heroes to the cause. 💕

I follow many lesbian blogs where the owners allow. Whilst I appreciate many CIS women abhor what I do, as do many lesbians, who only fall for TRUE women, I am still mostly attracted to woman to woman relationships. Please if you’re a lesbian site out there understand I am in awe of you & you have my utmost respect - & ENVY! 💝

Many of the visits I have experienced on the blog relate to sissy behaviour and to sexual penetration by men. I would like to state here that I think of myself as a transvestite or cross dresser & don’t really like being described as a sissy, although ultimately I suppose in many people’s eyes that is indeed what I am. I’m not excited by extravagantly frothy, ultra-girly, satins and lace type clothes. Whilst I do not rule out that my feminine persona may one day wish to find a real penis to worship, or be penetrated by, in as close to a girl manner as is physically possible to me, that is not my immediate preoccupation at this time. Also I would be extraordinarily cautious in terms of I would undoubtedly choose another cross dresser, who I found attractive & suitably elegant & understanding. My point is DON’T SEND ME DISGUSTING MALE MEMBER IMAGES!

Best Wishes,

Linda. 💕

#tightsituationsblog

#tightsituationsbloglinda for my personal images.

[sohotthateveryonedied]

Gender? In THIS Economy?

Read here on AO3!

Summary:

Duke is questioning stuff and goes to Tim for advice. (feat. trans!Tim and nonbinary!Duke)

“Here you go. One Batburger with extra pickles, extra onions, and extra extra mayonnaise.” Duke drops the paper takeout bag unceremoniously into Tim’s lap. “Your taste buds need a tune-up, bro.”

Tim unwraps his burger and takes a bite. Batburger may be questionable when it comes to copyright laws, but damn if they don’t pile on the condiments better than any fast food restaurant in Gotham. “Sounds to me like you simply haven’t reached the sky-scraping level of enlightenment that I have, grasshopper.”

“Enlightenment would have been going to Red Robin and using your uniform to get a discount,” Duke says. He sits beside Tim on the rooftop’s edge, their legs dangling side by side a hundred feet above Gotham’s plunging gray streets. He digs into his own burger and makes a face. “Enlightenment would also be getting the Robin Nuggets next time. This tastes like dried leather.”

“I like it,” Tim says with a shrug. “It has personality.”

“So does raw sewage, but you don’t see me eating that.”

Tim concedes the point. His communicator buzzes in his belt. He checks the screen and discovers an alert from Cass composed entirely of clown emojis and red harlequin diamonds.

Duke notices. “Should we get that?”

Tim pockets the communicator. “Nah, Spoiler’s got it. We have time to relax.” And he’s not about to pass up quality time with the one little brother who doesn’t hate him. It’s hard enough as it is for Tim and Duke to find the time, what with them being on opposite sleeping schedules and work snatching their attention away with grabby, toddler-sized hands.

“Don’t get a lot of that during the day shift,” Duke says. “Every time an alarm goes off, it’s my business.”

Tim knocks him in the side with his elbow. “That’s what you get for turning to the light side instead of kicking it in the shadows with us. More employees to go around.” He sips his soda for a moment. “Why did you come out tonight, anyway? I thought you stayed in on weeknights.”

“Right. I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” Duke says it carefully, like he’s testing the waters. “I need advice.”

Tim has to admit that his chest puffs out a little at that. It’s not often people come to him for advice when Dick and Barbara are right there, all full of adult wisdom that Tim is too pitifully shrimpy to possess. “What’s up?”

“It’s kind of...personal.”

“Yes, Bruce does have special powder for suit-chafing. It’s in the cabinet under the first-aid supplies.”

“It��s not that,” Duke says, though he snorts in half-hearted laughter. He looks down at his hands like he’s dreading the words lodged in his throat. “What was it like, realizing you were a dude?”

One of Tim’s eyebrows shoots up. “Oh.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It’s an invasive question.”

“No, no, it’s fine. You just caught me off guard, is all.” It’s not like this is the first time someone has asked. Tim used to be uncomfortable talking about it, but he’s grown up since then. Talking about his trans journey is as normal as talking about what he did yesterday. He eats a fry. “What do you want to know?”

Duke searches Tim’s face for a sign that he’s lying, that he should back off. When he doesn’t find one, he asks, “How old were you when you figured it out?”

Tim thinks back. “Nine, I think? But even before that, it’s not like I ever really felt like a girl. I knew there was something wrong, but I didn’t know what. When I first heard about what being transgender meant, everything I’d been feeling until then clicked into place.”

“What was it like?” Duke asks, “growing up the way you did? Presenting as a girl when you knew you weren’t?”

Tim shrugs. “I don’t know. It was life at the time. I dealt with it.”

“Was it hard? Pretending to be something you weren’t?”

Tim doesn’t know what answer Duke is looking for, or why he’s so interested, but he won’t ask. “My parents always had this idea of me being the perfect daughter, all obedient and graceful and crap. I’m pretty sure their hope was to eventually marry me off to the highest bidder so they could reap the business benefits.”

“That sounds awful.”

Tim shrugs again. “I didn’t start feeling any different than I should have until around six or seven. I was always a tomboy. I liked doing boy stuff and playing sports, but my parents thought it was a phase I would grow out of. They’d make me wear dresses and go to fancy parties with them, all the while I just wanted to claw my skin off and go home.”

He remembers the nights he would lie awake in bed, imagining what it must be like to have been born someone else. Anyone else. To grow up as a little boy who was allowed to run around, to get dirty, to be himself instead of following some arbitrary guidelines someone else drew up the day he was born. He imagined what it would feel like to answer to a different name than the one he’d been given, which grated on his ears the longer time went on, like an itchy sweater he couldn’t shed. It was hell.

He gives Duke a sly grin. “But the upside of having absent parents is that there aren’t as many people watching you. No one cared if I went to school in the boy’s uniform instead of the girl’s. No one was there to stop me from cutting my hair short the way I wanted it.”

Duke's eyes widen. “You cut your own hair?”

“It went exactly the way you’re thinking. I had to go to the barber the next day and have them fix it because it was so uneven. But by the end of the day, it was the way I always imagined it. I was finally starting to look like the person I wanted to be.”

Duke stares intently at the remains of his burger as if the universe’s answers to an unspoken question were written in sesame seeds. “Did it get better after that? Did you feel...at peace?”

“‘Course not. The world wasn’t magically fixed just because I took a step in the right direction. My problems didn’t go away.” When he says that, Duke looks almost...disappointed? “But,” Tim adds, “it was better than it was before. I still had to act for my parents and the rest of the world, but I didn’t have to hide from myself anymore.”

“How did your parents react when they found out?”

Tim grimaces. “They...didn’t take it well.” He can still hear his father’s voice in his memories, bringing up therapy and camps and whatever places he could think of that would “fix” his little girl.

“But, after a while,” Tim continues, “it was clear that I wasn’t going to change my mind anytime soon. I guess they figured it would be easier to go along with it than fight me every step of the way. They still didn’t like it, but they tolerated it.”

Duke is quiet.

“Why do you ask?” Tim prods.

Duke’s expression doesn’t give anything away. It’s nights like this when Tim can see how perfectly Duke fits into this mental institution they call a family. For all that Duke thrives in the light, he keeps his cards just as close to his chest as the rest of them. He gives Tim a half-smile. “Just wondering.”

“Okay.”

They fall into weighted silence, the scales tipping on either side of their post, but never settling. Tim waits. He finishes his burger and busies himself with reorganizing the pouches in his belt, giving Duke the privacy to think.

“I don’t know,” Duke starts after several minutes, “if I’m a boy.” He looks at Tim. “I think I might be something else.”

“Okay,” Tim says calmly. “What do you feel like?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve always felt different, y’know? When I was a kid, it was because I was smarter than everyone in my class. And it was fine, because I knew what it was and how it worked and why it was a good thing, being the smart one. It made sense. Time went on, the other kids started catching up, but that mismatched feeling never went away. I never felt right in my skin.”

Duke’s face rises to the dark clouds, the Batsignal shining from the top of the police station like a holy beacon. “Then I met Batman. My powers started to come in and everything clicked into place, all at once. That was why I never felt like I fit in with everyone else, because I was different. I had powers. That must have been it.”

“But it wasn’t,” Tim guesses.

Duke shakes his head. “I thought it would be. I mean, what else could it have been, you know? It should have explained why I never felt at home in my identity. But time goes on, I learn how to use my powers, and it fixes some of it, but not everything. There’s still part of me that looks in the mirror and sees something off. Some detail out of place.”

“Do you feel like a girl?” Tim ventures to ask.

Duke folds over the corner of his straw wrapper again and again in tiny triangles. “Nah, I doubt it. I like some feminine things, but I don’t think I’m a girl. Or a guy. I think...I might be nonbinary?”

Tim does his best to channel Bruce’s “supportive dad” energy and smiles. “Okay. What pronouns do you want to use?”

“They/them, maybe? For a while?”

“Duly noted.” He puts a hand on Duke’s shoulder. “I really do appreciate you telling me.”

Duke rubs the back of their neck, their cheeks flushing. “It feels good to say out loud. Not just in my head.”

“Do you think you’re going to tell anyone else? You don’t have to if you’re not ready, but our whole family will support you.”

“Yeah.” Duke picks at their nails, nodding absently. “I know they will. I’m not worried about that.”

“Then what are you worried about?”

Duke takes a deep breath in, and Tim is reminded of a balloon close to bursting. “My parents aren’t dead. I’m going to get them back. And when I do...what are they going to think when they wake up after half a decade and find out that their son isn’t their son anymore? What if they don’t like the person they see?”

Tim can’t say that he hadn’t swum with the same thoughts years ago, back when the person who is Tim Drake was still on the drawing board. But there’s a difference between his situation and Duke’s. “Your parents love you, Duke. They’re not going to stop loving you just because you’ve grown up since they last saw you.”

“What if it’s too much? The superpowers and the crime-fighting and the new gender...it’s a lot to take in.”

“Well, sure,” Tim says. “It might take some time for them to get used to it, but this is who you are. They’re going to love it just as much as they love the rest of you.”

Duke smiles, and if their eyes are a little misty, Tim pretends not to notice.

“Besides,” he says. “If I were you, I’d just lead with the superpowers thing. Anything after that sounds perfectly acceptable.”

[pumpkin-magpie]

Gonna put this in a Reblog as to not clutter the original post, but I wanted to explain a bit why I identity with this term!

Note: obviously not everyone will have my experience, I just wanted to share how I found the term and why it makes me comfortable

I don’t always talk about being Constelic on this blog, but one thing that had stood out to me is that all of my stels (which are all fictional characters) are either women or present femininely. This made me feel somewhat insecure, because I felt like this contradicted too much with my being as a trans man.

My original solution was to list all my stels as being referred to in gender neutral ways. This worked when I wasn’t super connected to my stels at the moment, as they contradicted my own gender identity less.

However, when in shift or referring to my stels, I felt somewhat uncomfortable referring to them in this way. When I was in a more major shift, I didn’t feel comfortable being referred to as something that stel was not.

And very recently, I discovered the term “Constelicgender” by chance while looking for sources to educate someone on Constelic who hadn’t heard of it before. Suddenly, things began to click. My stel’s and I didn’t need to have “contradicting” genders, my gender was just more fluid BECAUSE these stels had different genders from mine.

However, this term is unfortunately spoken about very little. Despite this, I completely doubt that I am the only Constelic to have my gender affected by my identity. Thus, I decided to make a post and a flag to hopefully help more people decide if this term clicks for them as much as it did for me!

Peace and love on planet constelic guys, I love all of y’all<3

Discovered Constelicgender today and it made me feel so much more comfortable in the way that my Constelic and gender identity overlap but realized it wasn’t super talked about or well-known so!! I made a flag since it didn’t seem to have one yet! I’m not a coining blog at all, but this is special to me.

[ Constelicgender: When one’s gender is affected in any way by being Constelic ]

The color meanings are:

- Orange: Those with Stels often similar in gender to their own

- Yellow: Those with a static, non-fluid gender

- Violet: those with multigenders or more than one individual gender

- White: Experiences with the gender that are mixes, unique from the flag, and are either very simple or complex. It also includes those with genders that overlap with constelicgender. Lastly, it includes any experiences with being Constelic whatsoever.

- Green: Those who experience one or no definable gender

- Blue: Genders that are fluid to any extent

- Indigo: Those with stels often different to their own gender