#lou: fuckin hate this guy

[lou-bonfightme]

Toulouse watched Drakken intently to make sure he did as he was told. Once Lou was satisfied, he looked back down at his sketch pad, contemplating where to start.

Until Drakken's words broke his concentration again.

It took a great deal of effort not to roll his eyes.

"No," he kept his voice flat, even. "I am not going to include the cast."

@dr-drckken

Blue Period || [Loukken]

[absolutelybifurious]

no one follows me from the 911 fandom so i feel mostly safe in whining to the abyss about this, so like i feel bad for not caring as much about buck's bi rep at face value... i can appreciate that buck - as a stereotypically masculine guy, who is for all intents and purposes the main character of a procedural prime time show - coming out as bi is a big deal, and i appreciated the set up with tommy. it was fun/fine. as a bi person, as someone who wants the world to get better - it makes me happy in an intellectual sense.

but for me, as a viewer of 911 the show - i don't really care. emotionally, in the context of the story it didn't do anything for me. tommy is (mostly) a random guy who showed up and buck realizes he's bi and now they're dating, but there's nothing to draw on earlier - and if it's a stepping stone, then i'll love it wholeheartedly in hindsight but if buddie doesn't happen - i just don't quite know how to feel other than like, detachedly glad we got a queer relationship for someone like buck.

and full disclosure, i wholeheartedly admit to being an eddie girlie, but even if eddie had gotten the storyline with tommy - i don't think i would've had a super strong reaction?

like yeah, i appreciate rep and of course it matters, but what would feel revolutionary for me is to take this relationship thats been implicitly on screen - to basically look at all these queer fans and be like, okay, yeah, you were right. all this subtext you've seen in a dozen other mlm ships over the years is valid. you aren't crazy and it's not gross or weird to make it REAL. you aren't rabid. (not counting the people who send weird hate to women actors just trying to do their jobs) and god - more than that, i'm just here for the fuckin STORY of it. tommy is fine. lou is lovely and i'm plenty interested to see where the buck and tommy train goes, but i don't have investment in it, not significant investment anyway, and i don't think i will? i mean, we're 7 seasons in. i can't get all in with tommy and buck at this point, i've been frothing at the mouth for another ship. and you brought me THIS close just to swerve at the last second.

so while i get that canonizing buck as bi is a big deal - it is always going to feel hollow for me personally because the story is what i'm here for. the relationship. the depth of it. and tbh i just want to see something beautiful and unintentional building in the background and have it fuckin happen for onceeee.

just sometimes i feel like i'm missing something, because i see the like... level of reaction some people have just to the bi-ness of it, and for me - if there's not a satisfying story, then, i don't have many emotions about it. i've gotten plenty of bi characters over the years, and very few of them felt fully actualized in the story being told around them.

[nerves-nebula]

I vote actor just cause it’d be funny if splinter parasocially fuckin hates that guy

i read that as "voice actor" and i was like sure. why not.

splinter isnt lou jitsu in this one but it'd be funny if he like. despised this guys movies and only tolerated them cause his adorable baby boy loves them.

[ao3feed-larry]

Already Home

by The_Dizzy_Pixie

“Fuck me,” Harry whispered. “Fuck me so hard we throw the plane off course, Lou.”

Louis grinned, climbing over him to claim his lips for a hungry kiss, his fingers slipping free and leaving Harry aching and empty. He got his legs around Louis as he leaned closer, pulling him in as Louis lined up, and they groaned together when he sank home, grinding in deep until he bottomed out.

“Home,” Harry hummed, curling his arms around Louis and cupping his cheek before stealing another breathless kiss. “Now, I’m home.”

“Home, baby,” Louis agreed, voice absolutely wrecked while he trembled against Harry. “Always so fuckin’ perfect when we’re like this, H.”

Words: 6013, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: One Direction (Band)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Jeff Azoff, Stunt Girl

Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

Additional Tags: Famous Harry Styles, Famous Louis Tomlinson, Canon Compliant, stunts, The latest stunt, Angst, Smut, Anal Sex, Plane sex, Larry Stylinson Is Real, Larry is married, Established Relationship, Another dumb stunt, when they do dumb stunts i write angsty stories, It's a thing now, Painful stunt content, We all saw the video - that happens in this fic, I know, I hate me too, no beta - we die like men, Literally Louis is there for it all and they're both sad and angry, Sex is the answer to feeling hurt and jealous and angry at the circumstances, obviously, harry cries, Pet Names, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, mention of past stunts and the latest ones, As stunts cos we all know that shit ain't real, Louis wants to fight Jeff, Harry is sad, Harry is so Tired, harry just wants to go home, Louis is Harry's home, Harry is Louis's home, What I hope happened behind the scenes before that bullshit took place, This is actually therputic when they stunt, how to cope with the larry-pr-coaster, Anal Fingering, Love Bites, Rough Kissing, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Gay Sex, Gay, They're in the Mile High Club guys, larry forever, larry stylinson - Freeform

via AO3 works tagged 'Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson' https://ift.tt/MkEKwHV

[loudenver]

Louis didn't take his friendship with Max for granted. There was a time in his life when the only time he'd be caught dead holding another man was in the privacy of his locked bedroom or tackling them on a football field. He was lucky to have a plethora of good guy friends now. For example, Scotty had stayed a firm figure in his life since college, and he'd picked up a few more along the way. He was lucky to have Max, and he embraced him fully, all his hard edges and the sweet smell of his shampoo as he crushed the other man to his chest.

"Did you guys-?" Louis started, watching as Max's eyes travelled across the room and landed on Ava. His publicist was giving nothing away, but nevertheless, his heart swelled in appreciation for the fact she'd helped bring Max home to him.

"Aw, listen, I know you don't read that shit." Louis teased, letting Max hold his face in his hands. It an was open secret Louis had no particular love for the horror genre. Too vague, too bloody, and lets be honest, didn't take itself seriously enough. Give Louis a pretentious novel that played with form, language and had a tenuous grasp on grammar and punctuation any day. He'd been caught up in many debates about it, his old flatmate Leah practically stamping her foot as she stated, 'But it's practically where camp originated!'. Louis had taken one look around their tiny artist's commune, with various incense sticks burning and said, 'No, baby, this is where camp originated'. It had won him the argument, for the time being.

"You dog." Louis giggled, his hands finding purchase on Max's waist. He was sure to any of the stragglers from his signing, he and Max would look like an item. Or more accurately, that Max was his husband and he was being welcomed home from war, given the way Louis was carrying on. Still, his past few months in New York had been rough, and boy, was he glad to see him.

Surging forward, Louis planted a quick, closed-mouth kiss on the other man's lips. Promiscuous as Louis could be, there was no ulterior motive to the kiss. To put it simply, he just really fucking loved his friend.

"You're so fuckin' ridiculous." Louis laughed, disentangling from the other man as a copy of his book was pressed on him. Louis took up the hardback with both hands, solid and heavy, beaming at Max from behind the book. "You know I could've given you one of these, right?"

Shaking his head, Louis leaned against the table, cracking the book open to it's title page and taking a pen in hand. He pondered only briefly over what to write, his tongue between his teeth as he began to scribble.

To Max,

Forever and always,

Your Lou.

Signing it off with the date, Louis snapped the book closed, and held it out as an offering.

"Don't tell me if you hate it." he insisted, wagging his finger. "I missed you so much. Sorry I didn't look you up sooner, book shits been..."

He waved a hand absentmindedly in the air, as though to say, well, you know, book shit.

"How are you? How's Tommy?"

The girls in front of Max made him smile, especially when the shorter of the two had to rely on her girlfriend to prod her into asking Louis her question. When Max caught wind of it, even he found himself leaning forward a little, interested to hear what Louis’ answer would be.

He already knew who James Marlon had been inspired by, even if he’d never met the man. But Wardo Martinelli had been an elusive figure to Max for as long as the man had known Louis. Sometimes, when he thought back to all the outings he’d gone on with Louis, it was almost like there was a third person present in the etchings of his memory. A third seat at the table when they went for dinner, another man sitting in the backseat while he and Louis bickered over what song to play on the radio in the car. Max stupidly kind of felt like he knew Wardo, just from how much Louis had talked about him and he’d found him so real and life-like in the pages of Christopher Street, but even with all the information he had gathered about the man, not even Max could hazard a guess as to how Louis would answer the question.

When he eventually did, a gentle smile slipped onto Max’s face. He’d always secretly hoped that maybe the real-life counterparts of Topher and James would find their way back to each other as well, just from the way Louis had always talked about Wardo. But that was just one man’s opinion, and Max was a horrible romantic - what did he know?

When the girls moved away and he finally had Louis’ attention, Max’s cheeks ached with the smile he wore. He beamed as Louis jumped up from his seat, the scraping of the chair audible as the other man launched himself at him.

Immediately, Max’s arms moved to circle around Louis’ waist, squeezing him tightly, or as tightly as he could with a whole table in between the two of them.

At Louis’ comment, he tipped his head back in a loud laugh. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Ava look up from her phone, momentarily glancing at them before shaking her head and returning her attention to her screen.

“I came here to see if they had the new Stephen King book, why do you think I’m here?” Max teased, allowing Louis to press a kiss to his cheek before lifting his own hands and bringing them up to either side of Louis’ face. His thumbs pressed lightly against Louis’ earlobes as he cradled the other man’s head. “Did you really think I’d miss coming to one of your signings?”

He quickly glanced over his shoulder to make sure there weren’t any stragglers left glaring at him for monopolising Louis’ time. Satisfied he wasn’t holding anyone up, he turned back to Louis, a proud look still on his face.

“C’mon, man, you have to sign my copy,” he urged him, finally letting go of the other man so he could slide the book in his direction.

[thoughtsby]

You Belie

The respect you chase

When You Be Lie

U-Me vs

with a quickness lose face

Mocking our Us

No surprise no more grace

We both had a pass

And for you i lit up the town

While you lied on the daily

About fuckin these clowns

Goddamn. That's her dad

There go Marcus' face

beLie five more times

All the trust

zero trace

Her choices all seem

Not stacked with tens, but fives

She doesn't quite feel

That we're both still alive

Fuckin stall?

Zero game

Minor league

Zero shame

In and out like a boy

7 minutes he came

Whatchou gonna do with the next 53?

Good question

Like clockwork, she starts looking for me

Bout to call me daddy

But i get a b p

Not the oil, not the dad

Poems talking bout me

But just as I feared

She's shifts all of the blame

into three higher gears

Buying time I suppose

Till her fiction appears

Dodging again

The ironic-est twist

Of detail left out

Adding bitch to my list

For each one of my calls

The others have six

They're omissions not lies

She doesn't think much

Again she dons the guise, disrespecting

The man that I am

She won't even try

Tho my back is up straight

And my head is held high

Realizing too late

That she drowned me with lies

So many days

i put your needs before mine

Your complacency framing

My low self esteem

Once secure in its place

I forgot I was dope

Till all of your friends

Reached out to help cope

And as good as that feels,

You'll need to arm yourself

Rip off your pants,

imma fuck your sister,

your mom

And even your aunts.

So get your ducks in a row,

And name the lead Plot

Jump them over the holes

Omissions and Nots

The thing I need most

Is to back me up G

Forget about He

Cuz it's all about me,

No way you don't see

The lie to yourself

Pussy on notice

And false perceived wealth,

That i never meant much

A year or three late

it was really just you

Spreading lies and the hate

Set flame to our pattern

Did I rank below Lou?

Or noch, Mike, and Josh?

It was more than a few

Fake stay in your lane

Inflict maximum pain

Scurry home to the desert

Prognosis the same

So fuckin lame

Wasting time

playing games

You throw us away

Every day that you say

Secrets no more

Now you're basically gay?

Except that's a lie,

Finger banged by some guy

Or bareback five strangers

Let concern for me fly

My safety, my health, my kids,

You don't try

But I see you now

I see through your guise

And I'm wanting to grow

Tho call me your man

While he's sharing your sheets

In the fire from pan

Come crying to me

From a 9 to a 2

Motherfucker he can't conjugate

No one's sorry for you

-----

If i follow again,

You're the last of your kind

Fit Benny on doubt

Cuz I'm outta my mind

And partially blind

The advantage got taken

Am I a sucker?

Or kind?

Just spread super thin

So confused

Where you been?

You'll live in my house

Buy some clothes,

Buy some shoes

Buy a phone

With fuck yous

All neatly included for free

At no cost

If you ignore the few months

I was totally lost

I'm a man not a mouse

I brought you here, sure,

But your logic is flawed

Nobody keeps a ride score

But If they did and saw you

They'd say you were trash,

And I'd correct them

For you.

But they're right, in fact

When you act like you do

So no crutch for me

I wrote this poem for you

Like warm sidewalk gum that'll stick to your shoe

Turn your black

Into blue

Till you find someone new

And by lunch there's no doubt

You'll have at least two,

Command no respect

Till my unseen support

Sends a pattern in short

While your 4 outta 10 starts to court

I'm sick to my stomach

Once again you're a ghost

Walking with trash

Strange gets all your most

You'll tell a few lies

Maybe work in a toast

At my expense sure

You'll have your own roast

So...

Fresh after your mention

Of your elsewhere-dick-session

I'm a glutton you'll find

For stories that kill

This one is the Besst

But I've had just my fill

I won't even know

Seed dried on your chest

You'll kiss me so hard

And say I'm the best

You'll grab a fresh shard

And in caves my chest

But when i find out,

And I always do, Boo

Cuz all of your friends

Like me better than you

Well... shit,

I just might

Turn the tide

In one night

Hit em all

With one ball

Say goodbye

And don't call

Have you wondering out loud

How YOU had the gall

Your loyalty

Matched

stature

Impossibly small

[writethelifeyouwant]

Monsterfucking

Summary: Hi, my name is Dean Winchester. I’m an Aquarius, I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach and monsterfucking.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Benny Lafitte Rating: 18 Tags: Omegaverse, Purgatory, Monsterfucking, Alpha!Benny, Alpha!Dean, Top!Benny, Bottom!Dean, Bi!Benny, Bi!Dean, Outdoor Sex, Oral Sex, Brief Blood Kink (he’s a vampire guys, what did you expect) Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Knotting Word Count: 2,389 Bingo Squares: @spndeanbingo - Trying Something New | @j3bingo - Alpha | @spnabobingo - Non-Traditional Alpha Traits

Created for: @there-must-be-a-lock’s 4k Fics Against Humanity challenge! My prompts fit together soooo perfectly, and the lovely Lou suggested Benny as the monster of choice, so here we are! Happy New Year, and here’s to starting how we mean to go on - with filthy, filthy smut.

Benny made a welcome change to the monotony of Purgatory for Dean. He didn’t mind the outdoors living, and he even welcomed the constant monster killing, but he hated being left alone with only his thoughts for company. The pair of them didn’t talk about much, but the chatter was enough to fill the silence of the forest and distract Dean from pining for the world he’d left behind, topside. Benny had also given him a mission, a goal to aim for beyond survival; he had given Dean hope of a way out.

Except it was taking them a fucking long ass time to get to this magic fucking door. And two alphas on the road together for this long, with not a single omega anywhere to be found, was starting to present a problem.

At first, Dean had wondered if maybe things would work differently in Purgatory. There was no need for breeding cycles in a place like this, so maybe he wouldn’t get his rut at all. Time was difficult to keep track of here, so he wasn’t sure when to expect it, if it was even coming, and for a time he’d forgotten all about it. Then he began to catch a new scent on the air after he and Benny had begun travelling together.

Benny’s scent grew stronger and stronger as the light grey day pressed on into dark grey night, but neither of them mentioned it. Dean could smell salt water and weather worn wood, and something sharper but slightly sweet and sugary warm – rum, maybe, he thought. When they lay down to sleep that night, side by side like always, Benny’s scent began to choke Dean, curling into his lungs on the back of the smoke from their fire, and searing his nerves until they were raw and bristling.

“So, what are we gonna do about this?” Dean grunted, forcing the words through the cloying haze that had leaked into his throat. Benny laughed softly, glancing over in his companion’s direction.

“Well, unless you’ve got something you haven’t told me,” the vampire smirked as his eyes flicked down to the lower half of Dean’s body, “nothin’ much we can do, brotha.” Benny shrugged, obviously resigned to the inevitability of his circumstances. Dean wondered how many ruts Benny had struggled through solo since he’d gotten his head taken off in the real world.

“There’s no ‘megas crawling around this hellhole?” Dean checked, curious on his own behalf as well. If Benny was going into rut, that meant he would too, eventually.

“None that aren’t just as likely to bite your cock off as they are to take a knot,” Benny chuckled.

“Don’t haveta use their mouths,” Dean grinned ruefully, but he took Benny’s point. Sleeping with the enemy wasn’t gonna get them out of this one.

“Oh yeah? You gonna hold one down for me long enough to knot? Keep ‘em there the whole time we’re tied so they don’t pull my cock off? Not fuckin’ likely,” he snorted derisively. “Plus we’d have to hunt one down, first, and I’m gon’ be in rough shape pretty soon. Not the best time to go trawlin’ these godforsaken trees lookin’ for a slick hole.”

“So what, I’m just s’pposed to sit around and protect your ass while you dry hump a pile of leaves for a week?” Dean demanded incredulously.

“You got a betta idea, cher?” Benny raised a stern brow in Dean’s direction, as if to say ‘shut up and live with it’, but Dean didn’t shut up, and his mouth said the word before his brain had thought it through properly.

“Yeah!” he scoffed.

Benny’s other brow raised to join its mate.

“Well, do enlighten me.”

Dean shifted uncomfortably on the forest floor, shot the vampire a nervous glance. Benny was sitting up and looking down at the hunter, expectation illuminated on his face in the flickering light of the campfire. Dean cleared his throat.

“If you’re after a week of hardcore sex, let me in on the action too.” His voice pitched up at the end as his resolve faltered and Benny’s eyes flashed wide and hungry in the wavering shadows.

“Never met an alpha who was an ass man,” Benny finally grunted, and Dean shrugged as casually as he could.

“Nothin’ wrong with it,” he defended, but his voice betrayed his nerves. Of course there wasn’t anything wrong with an alpha male enjoying anal sex, but it was unusual, and Benny was from a different time, he might be a lot more old fashioned than Dean.

“No,” Benny muttered eventually, gaze raking itself over Dean’s body, still prostrate before him on the ground. “No, nothin’ wrong with it at all.” Dean felt his cock throb as the pitch of Benny’s voice dropped, the rough Louisiana timbre deepening into a growl that radiated Alpha. Benny’s nose twitched, interested, and Dean could smell the shift in the air too as his own arousal made itself known – warm leather, dusky gun oil, and the sweet caramel of whiskey – scents that melded remarkably well with Benny’s own markers.

“Well, what’re you waitin’ for, boy? Get them britches down,” the vampire grunted, going for his own buttons. Dean rolled his eyes but there was no point starting a scrap over something he suggested – something he wanted, if he was being perfectly honest with himself. It had been far too long since he’d had a good fuck.

“How many times you done this before?” Benny asked with mild curiosity as they stripped down for each other.

Dean gave the other man a once over, not at all surprised to find he liked what he saw. Benny was broad, toned, and in possession of another monster all his own – Dean hoped to God that one wouldn’t sprout fangs.

“Enough to know I like it,” Dean answered smugly, “so long as the person with the knot knows how to use it.”

“Oh, I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” the vampire grinned, running a hand over his cock and starting to jerk it while he looked over Dean’s own naked body, cock starting to chub up between his legs under Benny’s gaze.

“You’ve never fucked an alpha before though, right?” Dean reached down and took himself in hand, relaxing back and looking to the side where Benny was still sitting, and shot him a challenging gaze.

“I’m sure I’ll be able to handle it,” Benny smirked, “never opposed to tryin’ somethin’ new.”

“Then why don’t you get your ass over here and show me?” Dean quipped. His snark had the desired effect, because Benny pounced forward and straddled Dean in a heartbeat, rutting their cocks together between their two bodies. Their grunts echoed softly in the forest clearing as Dean bucked beneath the man on top of him, hands scrabbling for purchase in the strong muscles of Benny’s back, scratching deeply into the skin.

“Careful, boy,” Benny hissed against Dean’s neck, and the hunter quivered when he felt the sharp prod of fangs against the skin of his throat.

“If you bite me,” Dean moaned brokenly as Benny’s hand made its way between their legs, skimming low to his goal in the damp cleft between Dean’s cheeks, “I’ll chop your head off.”

“Ah, c’mon,” Benny laughed-groaned, fingertips pressing hesitantly against Dean’s hole. “Just a nibble?”

His fangs scraped through Dean’s stubble, and the human tensed instinctively, summoning all his strength and throwing the monster off of him. He scrambled to his knees, panting and snarling in Benny’s direction. Benny threw his head back and laughed throatily, coughing a little as the breath settled oddly in his chest.

“I was fuckin’ with you,” he smiled threateningly but Dean saw the set of vamp fangs begin to retract, and he relaxed a little. “Stay on your knees though, boy, that’s a good look for you.”

Before Dean could think of a retort, Benny had summoned some of his supernatural speed to propel his forwards and onto his feet so his cock was level with Dean’s mouth.

“You sucked an alpha’s cock before, too?” Benny grinned down, tapping himself smartly against Dean’s lips. Dean glared up at him, and the vampire pulled back for a moment, leaning down so he was face to face with the human and yanking him back by his hair. “And if you bite me, I’ll chop your head off. Got that, cher?”

Deciding not to dignify that with a verbal response, Dean pushed Benny off of him and grabbed for the monster dick, pulling it to his lips, not wasting time before he gagged himself on it. Benny groaned and fisted his fingers in Dean’s shaggy hair, holding him in place and fucking the man’s throat vigourously.

“You weren’t kidding, you have done this before,” Benny chuckled breathlessly, pulling out of Dean’s throat so he could demonstrate some other oral skills. Dean pulled off the dick with a cough and licked down his shaft, laving over the stones at he base while he caught his breath.

“Cock’s a cock,” he grunted, kissing back along Benny’s length towards the crown. “Don’ matter if it’s attached to an alpha or ‘mega.”

“You get down on your knees like a little bitch for omegas?” Benny barked with delight, eyes lighting up. “You ain’t like no other alpha I’ve eva met, boy.”

“That’s ‘cause most alphas are too cowardly to take what they want,” Dean glared up at Benny with a sharp pride in his eyes. “Bet deep down you’re just as scared as all the rest of ‘em.”

Dean landed with a grunt on his back as Benny’s knee collided with his chin. Blood filled his mouth where he’d bitten his tongue and he coughed it out onto his chest. Looking up, he saw Benny’s eyes go dark, and his fangs struggled to break loose of his jaw, but to Dean’s surprise he reigned himself in. Then the vampire was on his hands and knees above the hunter and licking broad stripes up Dean’s chest to collect the blood that had pooled there. Benny licked his way up Dean’s neck and into the man’s mouth, moaning as he sucked on Dean’s tongue and bloodied lip in a monstrous imitation of a kiss.

“Get off’a me,” Dean grunted, pushing Benny’s shoulders back so he could manoeuvre himself around onto his own hands and knees. “We’re not here for the romantic shit, fuck me or fuck off.”

He leant down and braced his head on his forearms, knowing the position would show off the relevant assets for this exercise. Benny got the message, thumbing over Dean’s hole again, pressing his finger in gently as the muscle fluttered around him.

“Shame you’re not an omega,” he mused from behind Dean. “This hole would look real pretty all slicked up and dripping f’me.”

“Well you better get it that way before you put that cock anywhere near me, bitey,” Dean snapped, squeezing reflexively around Benny’s thumb. “You ain’t fuckin’ me dry.”

“Guess you are an alpha,” Benny grunted, spitting on Dean’s ass and watching it drip down between the cheeks, “you’re a fuckin’ bossy little bitch.”

“And you call me bitch one more time, you won’t be fuckin’ me at all. I’ll tie you to the nearest tree and let you rut yourself bloody on the trunk. Alpha monster like you, probably won’t be able to stop yourself.”

Two spit-slick fingers shoved into Dean’s body, shutting him up with a loud groan. They fucked into him mercilessly for a moment before withdrawing again, and he felt more spit drip down the lengths, slicking him up for the main event. Before long they were both getting impatient, and without nearly enough prep, Dean began begging Benny to put it in.

“Oh, eager little alpha, are we?” Benny jeered, but he was equally as eager to comply with Dean’s demands.

“Just fuck me already,” Dean groaned as Benny teased the tip of his dick around the puffy, pink hole he’d been ravishing with his fingers for the past few minutes.

“Well, since ya asked so nice,” Benny shoved forward and Dean howled but bucked himself back onto the intrusion, his body drinking it in greedily. “Fuck yeah, that’s a good alpha,” he crooned, rocking into Dean and draping his body over the hunter’s back. “Yeah, fuckin’ take it boy.”

“What the fuck d’ya think I’m doin’,” Dean ground out through clenched teeth, his eyes rolling back into his head as Benny rubbed against the bundle of nerves that made getting fucked in the ass so worthwhile. “Oh, fuck yeah, do that again,” he demanded.

“Bossy, bossy,” Benny grunted, punctuating each word with another thrust and pulling more and more whimpering groans from the man beneath him. “C-can ya reach your jacket?” he panted after a few minutes of furious thrusting.

“Just about, why?” Dean grunted, bracing himself on his elbow to reach for the discarded garment and pull it to him.

“‘Cause I’m ‘bout to knot. Wan’ you t’have a pillow or something.”

“How considerate,” Dean groaned, reaching down to jerk himself off so he could finish with the vampire, but Benny batted his hand away.

“Don’ you dare,” he growled.

“Why the fuck not?” Dean demanded, of half a mind to buck Benny off and leave him to knot his fist.

“Because after I’m done with you, I wan’ a try. You’re havin’ too much fuckin’ fun down there,” he groaned, and Dean felt the knot beginning to swell at the base of Benny’s cock start to nudge against him.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Dean grinned to himself, reaching back between his legs to finish himself. “Real alphas like me can knot a bitch however many times they need it. Plus if I cum now, you’ll have something better than spit to use for your first time.”

They both howled as Benny’s knot popped and tied him to Dean, the hunter cumming in hard spurts into his own fist as he felt the vampire filling him up. They collapsed together, Dean’s head landing on his jacket-pillow and Benny resting his head on Dean’s shoulder, his breath coming in ho, humid puffs against his sweat damp skin.

“Fuck this is gon’ be a good rut,” Benny grunted after a few moments of silence, and they burst out laughing.

[nochiquinn]

exu calamity wrap-up: dragon fuckin'

calamity wrapup CALAMITY WRAPUP

"don't like her!" justice for bolo

SOFA

now they have no excuse, put it on 4SD

…..sam

Luscious Ring Of Ass

[oxventure voice] everyone else in the world

lou

"hey. it's real." "no, no it's not"

cerritos groupon

the curse is lifted

"I have margaritas waiting for me at the end of this" god I wish that was me

[sandal voice] ENCHANTMENT

ELF-ONLY LASER GUNS

LIKE WEGOLAS

oh look it's me making a characer anything

"for those who missed the twitter spaces thing - which was everybody - " sam has taken br*an's space as the This Form Of Media Engangement Sucks guy

travis' tan and arms are extremely distracting to me ngl

oath of deflection

I am begging them to stop saying "nasty" I can only hear it as a sexual thing

"as a player you know what you're doing is wrong" "speak for yourself"

aabria dying all over again

reverse flaws

imagine not paying attention to laura bailey

"it hurt our feelings"

travis is giving me parent feelings and I don't appreciate it

"I don't think they're gross - " "they are"

"you're gonna get poop on yourself"

well that's canon now

aabria is very right about the dynamic that would have felt empty if they didn't have time to explore it (and they didn't) but I LOVE the concept

FUCKIN karen

"he's SO STRONG"

"don't put this on matt!"

twitch I will fight you

TROUBLE TROIKA

nydas had a danger sense the others didn't

"OH A BAD TREE????"

HAMBRICK-ZUKER

"I hate HIM"

"hambrick-zucker is definitely making his own cryptocurrency"

"awww, he watched"

"I wanna be the bad one"

"what is he DOING, these are FEELINGS"

"I fell in love with her over the campaign" weh

at "I will lunge for lore" the subs said "I will lunge for Laura"

fantasy kennedys (kennedies?)

"politics!" "….fuck!"

#MattMercer

"matt's literally right there" dsfjsl

"that's one way to make sure no one ever comes back to play with us again"

I had an ex like that

she thought getting engaged was a fun second date

Somebody The Beard

"I should have died"

"IS THE ORB OKAY"

"it happened and it mattered"

oh I dig that

I did think about someone possibly playing one (or both!) of the kids, npc or otherwise

#WhereIsBolo

arcanotech

aeorian dragon spy

leave your wife for a dragon

("nochi two people are gonna get that" GOOD)

YEAH WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH PATIA AND THE RAVEN QUEEN

GET BACK HERE AND ANSWER ME

[thegrimreaper-probably]

Chapter 3: Bite out of U.A

Masterlist

Summary: first day of ua

Trigger warning: talks briefly about feeing helpless and nightmares bc Bakugo definitely has trauma from the attack.

“KIDS WAKE THE HELL UP! FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL I NEED PHOTOS!” Mom yells and I finish putting my pants on and leave. God I hate pictures, I go downstairs and start to eat.

“I love today! Mama gives us steak and chum for breakfast!” Ruby says.

“Ruby your wrong! We have school, and you know what that means?” Grim grumbles, Ruby shakes her head innocently.

“Means you get homework!” Bruce says and drowns a cup of chum. Ew.

“You know you guys get it easy, I don’t even have recess anymore.” Vixen says as she puts some plates away.

“I like school.” Meg says.

“That cause your a loser.” Lenny says in a teasing voice.

“Well if that makes me a loser then not liking school makes you an imbecile.” Meg says back.

“What does that even mean?”  Lenny says while Fin, Scarlet and Lou come in.

“Means your scared of Santa Claus!” Fin says we all turn to him.

“No that claustrophobic, Meg said imbecile.” Lou says.

“Ohhh.” Fin says and sits down.

“Imbecile means umm. You have a baby in your tummy!” Scarlet says.

“No- that’s not-. Okay Claustrophobic is being scared of small places, imbecile means stupid and not infant. Infant is a baby not in the tummy and when a baby is in the tummy it’s called fetus.” Dad says and takes a long sip of coffee.

“So pictures?” Mom says with her phone ready. We all go outside and take pictures. Mom takes her pictures and everyone goes back inside but me, ma and dad.

“We got you a gift, I know it’s not the best but here.” She says and hands me a hoodie. It’s was a new heating hoodie, I smile and hug them.

“Thank you, I got to go I love you bye.” They waves and wishes me a great day. I walk over to Katsuki and we talk.

“New heating hoodie?” He ask and I nod. We walk into class and sit beside each other. Katsuki leans back and puts his feet on the desk.

“Take your feet of off the table it’s rude.” This guy has some balls. I laugh at him with Katsuki rolling his eyes.

“Fuck off.” Katsuki says. The guy’s eyes look like they’re going to fall right out.

“Take your feet off of that desk now!” He does some arm things. I put my feet on the desk and he goes ballistic.

“It's the first day and you both are already disrespecting this academy by scuffing school property, you cretin!”

“You're kidding me, right?” Katsuki scoffs and shakes his head.

“Your old school put a stick up your ass? Or were you born with it?” The guy stare at us as if we were murders.

“Don’t fuckin tell me what to do before you find more then that stick up your ass.” I smirk showing of my teeth.

“Let's start over. I’m Tenya Iida from the Somei Private Academy.”

“Somei, huh?” Katsuki asks.

“No one asked.” I say back

“So you must think you’re better than us. I’m gonna have fun tearin' you a new one.” He smirks. Iida gasp at us.

“You would threaten me? Your own classmate?Are you sure you're in the right place?” Iida ask.

“Yeah we would, and we’ll do it again. Leave before I bite into your artery.” I  further prove my point with chopping my jaw.

“Oh no.” Iida look over at the door to see Midoriya talking?? What the-.

“Uh, hi.” He waves, Katsuki growls and snaps a pencil. I pull out my phone and scroll through my feed.

“Good morning! My name is Tenya Iida from.” Midoriya cuts him off.

“Yeah, I‐I know. I’m Izuku Midoriya. It's super nice to meet you.”

“Midoriya. You realized that there was something more to the practical exam, didn't you?” Iida asks.

“Huh?” He questioned Iida.

“You must be very perceptive. And I completely misjudged you, I admit. As a student, you're far superior to me.” Iida says.

“Everyone here is superior to you.” I says and Iida gasp with Katsuki laughs.

“Um. I find that hard to believe that I am.” Midoriya says. Some other girl comes over to them and talks which I have no care for.

“How the fuck he get in?” He’s pissed, more then ever.

“Don’t know. Do you feel anything?” I response and close my phone.

“Nah must be your quirk.” He sits back and looks outside.

“I’m pretty sure it’s broccoli head causing this.” He nods his head and continues to think.

“If you're just here to make friends then you can pack up your stuff now.” Sensei says, popping out his decks.

“Ah!” Some kid screams.

“Welcome to UA's hero course.” He says and sucks on a pouch.

“What is that thing?” Some kids says.

“Shut up!” I yell, I’m getting a headache from this.

“It took eight seconds before you all shut up. That's not gonna work. Time is precious. Rational students would understand that.” The teacher says.

“Who is this guy?” Midoriya asks.

“If he's here, then he must be some kinda pro.”

“But he looks so worn out.”

“What's his deal?”

“Why are we in a classroom full of idiots.” I mutter to Katsuki.

“Hello, I'm Shota Aizawa. Your teacher.” Sensei says then a bunch of kids gasp.

“Excuse me but why are you all surprised about that? Like, your all going to be heroes and you can’t figure out that he’s our teacher? And I thought I’d actually be with more smart people.” I say bunch of kids gasp or whatever.

“Right, let's get to it. Put these on and head outside.” He says I get up and go to the locker room and head outside.

“What?! A Quirk assessment test! But orientation! We're gonna miss it!” I lean on a wall with Katsuki as the girl from earlier talks.

“If you really wanna make the big leagues, you can't waste time on pointless ceremonies. Here at UA, we're not tethered to traditions. That means that I get to run my class however I see fit.” He says, he looks over to us and continues.

“ You've been taking standardized tests most of your lives. But you never got to use your Quirks in physical exams before. The country's still trying to pretend we're all created equal by not letting those with the most power excel. It's not rational. Bakugo, you managed to get the most points on the entrance exam. What was your farthest distance throw with a softball when you were in Junior High?” He asks Katsuki thinks.

“219 feet.” I answer, I remember because I got 220 so he had to buy my food.

“What she said.”

“Right. Try doing it with your Quirk. Anything goes, just stay in the circle.” Katsuki nods and grab the ball and chucks it with his explosions yelling die.

“All of you need to know your maximum capabilities. It's the most rational way of figuring out your potential as a pro hero.” The ball lands about 2312 feet away. Katsuki walks back and I high-five him. The kids keep talkin and I watch some birds fly by. I tune back in the conversation.

“Like I said, I get to decide how this class runs. Understand? If that's a problem, you can head home right now.” He stare and waits.

“You can't send one of us home! I mean, we just got here! Even if it wasn't the first day, that isn't fair!” Shorty says.

“So what? You think life’s fair? The shit you say keep surprising me, I mean come on. Your here to be a hero correct?” I says, it’s pisses me off that people are like this.

“Yes but-.” I walk over and cut her off. My shadow engulfing her short frame.

“I’m not done. The concept of being a hero is unfair. And honestly if you’re learning this now, you might want to quit well your ahead.” I look down at her and she whimpers.

“Now then. We're just wasting time by talking. Let the games begin.” Sensei says. I start at the runner with Iida and a pink girl.

“1, 2, 3, go!” The robot says, I round to about 4 seconds. Swimming and running are similar yet different.

“Wow she didn’t even use her quirk!” Yellow hair kid says.

“She has to be the fastest here!” Spiky red hair says. Then the pink girl comes over to me.

“Nice job! I’m Mina Ashido!” She smiles at me.

“Thank you, I’m y/n Fuka.” I smile back.

“Testing the upper limits of their powers helps me assess their room for growth. It becomes clear what they can and can't do. Their true potential. Sometimes, pros have to be creative in order to succeed.” Sensei says all the other kids do the running with Midoriya getting last.

We move over to a strength test. I wonder if I can use my jaw?

“Hey Sensei? What’s the breaking point of these? I don’t want to break them.” I ask and some kids wonder towards me.

“Not sure, it’s fine if you break it we have more.” I nod and thank him. Katsuki pulls it out of my hand and wash it with water. Not that it helps, but it’s the thoughts that counts.

“Don’t chip a tooth idiot.” He hands it back and I chop it with all 18,216 newtons! It break and of course a tooth falls out.

“OMG!” Ashido says.

“ARE YOU OKAY?” Red haired kid ask.

“HOW MUCH WAS THAT?” The girl I yelled at earlier asks.

“YOUR TOOTH!!!!” Ashido says and grabs my face and opens my jaw.

“Mphmph.” I try to say.

“Your bleeding! It’s not to bad, that’s go to the nurse!” I gently push her off and see Katsuki hand me water. I drank some.

“I’m okay, thank you Ashido. My teeth fall out all the time, no big deal.”

“Freaky~” some purple dude says

“My quirk is shark so I’ll get my replacement tooth in soon.” I pick up my tooth and the test and throw it away.

“It was 18,216 newtons by the way. I can control how much but meh.” I shrug the red hair kid comes over to me.

“I’m Ejiro Kirishima! You got one manly bite!” I thank him and we move on to the other tests.

Basic test are over so we move onto the ball throwing test. I get called over and think about it. I could use my tail as a bat to hit the ball. Sounds like a plan! I throw the ball up and jump. I spin around and hit the ball with my tail. I head over to Katsuki and we high five. Midoriya goes up which I roll my eyes.

“If Midoriya doesn't shape up soon, he's the one going home.” Iida says I laugh.

“Huh? Of course he is. He's a Quirkless loser.”

“Hey! Just because he’s quirkless doesn’t make him a loser. But yeah he’s a loser.”

“He has a Quirk.” The girl who I now learned is Uraraka says.

“Huh?” We question.

“Did you not hear about what he did in the entrance exam?” Iida asks.

“I must be really really high right now.” I says. Iida goes to say something but can’t.

“I won't let them down.” Midoriya whispers. He throws the ball but it only goes a few feet.

“Uh... What gives? I was trying to use it just now.” He asks and looks at his hands.

“I erased your Quirk. The judges for this exam were not rational enough. Someone like you should never be allowed to enroll at this school.” Sensei says.

“Wait, you did what to my‐‐ Ah! Those goggles. I know you! You can look at someone and cancel out their powers. The Erasure Hero. Eraser Head!” I shake my head.

“Eraser? Who's that?” Someone ask.

“Oh, I've heard of him. I think he works on the down‐low.” Tsu who I’ve talked to during the jumping test.

“He’s a underground hero, which are the best in my opinion.”

“Really? You seem to be the type to like All Might and stuff.”

“Most underground heroes are actual heroes they don’t do it for fame or money. Also I don’t really like All Might he’s just to much for me.” Midoriya gasps at me and Sensei continues.

“Were you planning to break your bones again?Counting on someone else to save your useless body?” He raise his eyebrow.

“No! That's not what I was trying to do!”

“No matter what your intentions are, you would be nothing more than a liability in battle. You have the same reckless passion as another overzealous hero I know. One who saved 1,000 people by himself and became a legend. But even with that drive, you're worthless, if you can only throw a single punch before breaking down. Sorry, Midoriya. With your power, there's no way you can become a hero.”

“Finally talking some sense” I whispered to Katsuki.

“I've returned your impractical Quirk. Take your final throw. Hurry and get it over with.”

“He threw it over 700 meters!” A kid with a electricity quirk of some sorts says.

“Nice, he's finally showing us his true power!” Kirishima says.

“But his finger appears to be broken now. Just like in the exam. This Quirk is very odd.” Iida says.

“It wasn't a very pretty throw.” Uraraka says.

“What the hell was that?” Katsuki growls.

“If he had a Quirk, he would've gotten it when we were kids! This is impossible! He's up to something.” Katsuki breathing fastens.

“Big time.” I say, I get ready to pounce on Katsuki if need be.

“I'm getting to the bottom of this. Hey! Deku, you bastard! Tell me how you did that, or you're dead!” Katsuki goes over and I jump to tackle him down but fall face first.

“What? Why the hell is your damn scarf so strong?”

“Ow.” I say in the dirt.

“Because it's a capture weapon made out of carbon fiber and a special metal alloy. Stand down.” Sensei says, Kirishima comes over and picks me asking if I’m okay I nod.

“It'd be wise to avoid making me use my Quirk so much. It gives me serious dry eye.” He continues.

“Next time can I get a warning when you use that? I’m too use to having to tackle him. Pain in my ass.”

“IM THE FUCKING PAIN IN THE ASS? YOU FUCKING BIT ME THE OTHER DAY!”

“AND I’LL DO IT AGAIN!” Kirishima holds me back as I get up to bite him.

“YOU WOULDN’T-.” The scarf cuts him off. Sensei groans.

“What are you? Five year olds?”

“Sorry Sensei, got caught up in the moment.” I say and calm down. He nods and we move on with Sensei let go of the scarf making Katsuki fall.

“All right, time to give the results. I've ranked you all from best to worst. You should probably have a good idea of your standing already. I'll just pull up the whole list. It's not worth going over each individual's score.” He says, the screen loads.

“Who the fuck-.” Katsuki says.

“Well at least we didn’t end up last.” I say, I got 4rd place with Katsuki getting 3rd.

“Tch.”

“And I was lying, no one's going home. That was just a rational deception to make sure you gave it your all in the tests.” Sensei says the group gasps beside a few.

“I'm surprised the rest of you didn't figure that out. I'm sorry. I guess I probably should have said something.” The girl who placed first says.

“No then some of these meat heads wouldn’t have tried as hard as they did. Whole point of this was to figure out your breaking point. I wouldn’t have done the whole breaking machines otherwise.” I say she smiles back and nods.

“That was pretty nerve‐wracking, huh?” A guy with a black bolt in his hair says.

“Nah, I'm always down for a challenge.” Kirishima says.

“That's it. We're done for the day. Pick up a syllabus in the classroom. Read it over before tomorrow morning.” We leave and change. Katsuki and I walk out and walk to his house.

“Hi Katsuki, y/n!” Mitsuki says

“Heyo!” I say as she gives me a hug.

“Aww your growing up so fast. I remember when you two would run around and play heroes.” She says and walks over to the Kitchen to finish cleaning. We go upstairs and sit, me on the bed and him on the desk chair.

“What were you talking about earlier?”

“It’s weird, usually I feel my normal sense of stuff. Phones, tvs ya know. But this time Midoriya was buzzing with it, I couldn’t even stand near him without feeling sick. I mean even that electricity guy didn’t make me as sick.” I say and lean back into the bed. He nods and thinks.

“To be honest it felt the same as that day with you know.” Katsuki hated talking about the sludge villain, he often got nightmares about it. His mother told me about it to see if I could help.

“With All Might?”

“Yeah but it was less if that make sense? All Might compared to Midoriya was less intense. I don’t know what we’re going to do.”

“Stay away from him. If he goes near you I’ll fucking kill him.”

“Thought you were a hero?” I raise my eyebrow and we laugh.

“Shut up.” We finish talking about random stuff and I later head home. After dinner with my family and the chaos of everything is done I go to bed.

“Shit tomorrow going to suck.” I roll over to my side and sleep.

Part 4

[tarnished-doll]

to start this blog off i might as well copy+paste the silly little twitter thread i made earlier bc i thought it was cute :)

the thought 'elden ring rockstar au' popped into my head in the shower and unfortunately i keep thinking about it and i find it very funny. godrick the washed-up hair metal musician beefing with all of his distant relatives in the biz for marika's 60s popstar empire inheritance

marika was a huge hit back in the day but pressure from fame and her label and discouragement from doing anything experimental eventually made her snap and burn every bridge in the industry. they say she either married a way younger guy or was actually using him as an alter ego.

radagon is an even more mysterious weirdo than her, leaving his songwriter wife and getting into the burdgeoning metal scene while also dating fallen starlet marika... all of his kids are also in heavier genres except ranni, who does fleetwood mac folk rock type stuff like her ma

godfrey was a wrestler before marrying marika and the gimmick of him being this big flamboyant wrestleboy being brought on stage for duets was a hit with the audience. he's retired now to a quiet woodsman life, missing all of the drama from the divorce by getting tf outta dodge

malenia is an operatic metal vocalist who's stage presence and voice just barely lets her get away with being notoriously bad to work with. at least, thats what her death metal half brother claims after some very public drama on tour resulting in the destruction of caelid stadium

godrick ended up being more famous for being a public dickhead than being a good musician, the makings of one are there but its all burnt out. he squats in a backwater estate in a small town were everyone knows who he is and EVERYONE hates him

rykard isnt as famous as the others but his doomcore drone ambient sludge metal is fuckin amazing. sounds exactly like a washing machine. he ruined his voice in his screamo days, pls be nice to him :(

mogh is still being investigated for some serious allegations, but unfortunately he still maintains a strong fanbase for his shitty, shitty music

and morgott is just lou reed.

[mojaves]

i have a Question for jason,,,what does "home" mean to you? 👀

JASON: >:(

[invalid answer]

>:(

[invalid answer]

>:^(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[invalid answer]

[disgruntled sigh] god fine okay. dumb fuckin question. i don't know. like where you live or whatever. that a good an-. no? [silence] [muttered] shit.

[lou: you can do it buddy! we believe in you!]

wh-. fuck off.

[lou: love you too big guy]

[exasperated sigh] it's like-. like friends an shit. y'know. like. people youuu... spend a lotta time with. i guess. you feel..................... safe...? with them...? or somethin. i dunno. whatever. [silence]

[morgan: that is the nicest thing you have ever said. that's so sweet]

SHUT UP. god. i'm gonna fuckin-. why are you even making me-. what are we even DOING here like what's the purpose??? i hate this. i hate you. i'm gonna set myself on fire i swear to go-. [end transmission]

[nestable]

Serpent and dove takes 2

*Lou has legit shown EVERY sign of being a witch at this point Reid just doesnt want to see it. Its ridiculous now.

*This bernard guy is giving me the creeps. I dont like reading about him when it's dark, I get scared.

*Lous and Reids growing relationship seems a but forced. There hasn't been natural progression. They just went from hating each other to sleeping on the same bed....mmmh idk😕

*HE ESCAPED!!!!😱😱

*This Celia chick needs to take several seats, its Lous time to shine now.

*IF I were Lou and I saw my mans getting cozy like that with another chick, not only would I follow them but I'd cause a scene too. The territorial fae in me would jump out, especially with all the mess Celia's speaking🤬🤬

*Lou! Just ask your Ogre of a husband to kiss you already. Go for it, dont be shy. Do what married people do.

*Do you realize how turned on you have to be to make out so passionately that you forget that there are 2 corpses inches away from your feet? Because I dont.

*So he's really a virgin? Wow.

*OBDJSHSIDLSHSSS. MADAME LABELLE AND REID!!! What's up with these paternity court storylines these days. It's too much

*At this point I wont be surprised if the Archbishop is Lous father.

*I'm not ready for Lous reveal. I'm really not I'm nervous. This was the first time I was glad to see the archbishop.

*THAT BIG BITCH REID!!

*I fuckin knew it💀💀she is his daughter. Imagine being that guys child? Could never be me.

*That even fuckin Ansel line finished me😂😂I'd also be PISSED to be the last one to find out some things. Life has just been happening around Reid for weeks and he doesnt even know it.

*The way Reid found out his parentage was not cool😂if i were him i probs would've passed out.

*That prince gives me squidward vibes. Hes so apathetic.

[oceanselevenism]

I've seen that most of the stories on ao3 about them are mostly canon-compliant (and I don't have anything against that tbh) but I was wondering if you have any aus that you think could fit them or that you'd like to see?

omg i have SO MANY aus!! (it got Very Long so its under a cut)

- college au! danny gets kicked out (hes on full scholarship and does Thiefly Things to cover his expenses so hes not endangered just fairly fucked up abt it) (does it count as kicked out if u only live w ur dad three months a year) in freshman year, he befriends rusty (1 year below him) in sophomore year, debbie also befriends rusty (she and danny dont talk much but shes 2 yrs below him at the same college), and when reuben comes calling for a job he thinks debbie has a boyfriend (thanks to debbie telling her dad that she does) so she fake dates rusty. who ends up joining the job. and danny is Very Jealous

- snl ripoff au! danny and rusty are the weekend-update-adjacent anchors and they get gay. i Would have this take place in la (reuben is taking A Risk producing a late night sketch comedy show on the west coast but the 11/12/however fuckin many are fantastic cast members so even though they lose revenue from the other timezones not watching as much as they watch snl or whatever, they still make BANK... but danny and rusty getting gay throws the equilibrium out of whack) BUT la sucks DICK so its happening in new york. also this way u get Ocean Sibling Banter (debbie and lou are the anchors for The Actual Weekend Update and when debbie/lou get together and also when danny/rusty get together there are so many ‘just switch out the blondes/brunettes nobody will be able to tell and we won’t have hr down our necks’ jokes)

- au where the caldwells, abt to go deep undercover on a Huge Fucking Case, have to give up custody of 6 year old linus to tess and danny. the case stretches on for twelve years and linus grows up w tess and danny (who get divorced like right after they adopt him bc tess finds out abt dannys Thiefly Activities-- he confesses to her bc he doesnt rly want to predispose the kid to said thiefly activities) and also isabel (she and rusty break up like Right Before tess and dannys wedding and its very funny; she then goes on to marry tess) parenting him (rusty isnt as much in the picture bc he doesnt feel bad at all abt stealing and tess doesnt want linus to pick up that mentality also rusty Feels Things abt danny)! then when linus is like 18 or 19 danny disappears (tess and isabel think its Thiefly Activities again and arent concerned, just disappointed, but linus is very concerned for his dad-slash-stepdad-slash-sort-of-uncle) and he tracks down rusty so they can find danny. they roadtrip across america and eventually catch up to danny, who is helping the caldwells, and the five of them take down whatever gang the caldwells were chasing. linus now has 6 parents

- au based on this post where some archaeologist finds a bunch of dannys [french person voice] Love Lettairs 2 rusty and so obviously the logical course of action is to rob the museum (which happens to be the museum that tess is curating. funny how things work out) without telling his team What Theyre Stealing. they successfully pull off the heist but turns out the letters were not among the items they stole!! danny is getting desperate. as a last-ditch attempt he calls tess and asks her to let them rob the museum. shes like Why The Fuck Would I Do That. he explains and she begrudgingly agrees. danny and livingston go break into the museum Again but rusty tails them bc dannys been acting Weird and he finds out abt the letters bc livingston sweats more whenever he tells a lie. they live happily ever after (literally, theyre immortal) the end. also even though dannys a werewolf the 11 all call him the new jersey devil (its not his fault that legend came to be ok!! he was very drunk!!)

- childhood friends au!! danny and rusty were best buds as very young kids and then the oceans had to move. flash forward 2 present day where danny and debbie r robbing a museum (theyre building a flower shop over the vault and tunneling in, the dudes in brazil who came up w it are very very clever) and guess which two people are the assistant curators (is that even a title?). guess. ill tell u its tess and rusty! danny recognizes rusty, rusty ‘does not recognize’ danny (which is valid. look at photos of child george clooney and tell me you would recognize him). the 11 demand that they use this to their advantage and so danny and rusty Sort Of Date while the rest set up for the robbery, and danny feels really bad abt it so on the day of (after everyone has gotten away, ofc, he might be a lovesick bitch but hes not a snitch) he confesses and rustys like lmao i was onto u from the start. what kind of a name is [insert alias here] anyway. then they go live a life of crime and its great

- @sanduschism came up w a fantastic au where danny pickpockets rusty and feels bad so he sends the wallet back and they strike up a Correspondence

- HOSPITAL AU!!! danny and rusty r er techs while theyre doing med school and nobody knows how they juggle their shifts w school but also rusty can do a tracheotomy in like 5 seconds and danny can tell when a person needs an mri before they even list their symptoms so nobody questions it and nobody splits them up Ever. when they eventually become surgeons, danny does cardio and rusty does neuro, and whenever they have to work together not only do they never have to say what theyre doing, they don't even have What Do U Want To Cook For Dinner convos fully out loud. tess is head nurse... she makes so many excel spreadsheets... they are ALL color coded. isabel is head er doc and nobody dares to halfass things on her watch. reuben is head hospital admin, saul is chief surgeon, basher is head of the burn unit, the malloys r the HUNKIEST nurses in town, frank does plastic surgery/ent (every patient loves him bc he is just So Calm), livingston is The IT Guy, yen does like orthopedics or physical therapy, and linus is their fav resident who they all lovingly tease 24/7. the ocean sibs r both Cardio Gods and each dominate their respective coasts. debbie is an nyc doctor and if she sees a mass gen doctor its on SIGHT. the few surgeries that she and danny collab on go so fast that the med students in the gallery Cannot tell whats happening. lou is also a plastic surgeon and she and frank r best buds. linus requests time off like 6 months in advance Every Time and everyone hates it bc then They have to be on call but he doesnt realize his Extreme Overachieverness is causing so much strife. whenever tess and danny get in an argument she colorcodes his rounds spreadsheet to be the most neon shit youve ever seen. can you tell i never fully progressed past my greys anatomy phase this one is like 93489302 lines long

- superpower au where rusty has midas touch and danny has corrosive touch and when theyre too young to have control over their powers (abilities develop throughout adolescence and the user gains control at the end of adolescence) they accidentally brush hands and are terrified they just killed each other but turns out their powers like. cancel out. so until they reach like 21 or 22 and can touch things without fucking them UP they just. hold hands all the time. bc otherwise they have to wear gloves to prevent Accidents and both of them “hate gloves” (and also love holding hands. gayasses)

- uhhh hallmark au where danny is a crime fiction writer out on some beach north of ocean city nj and rusty is his fancy nyc editor. everyone else is a thief including debbie who is just Very weirded out that her brother, who robbed boston’s institute of contemporary art at age 22 and got away with it, has decided to spend the rest of his life churning out books. he is very critically acclaimed and about half of the 11 are buds with him and use his published books as heist inspo. the other ~half of the 11 are buds with rusty, and they tell him if danny’s heists are feasible or not (they always are. scarily so.) anyway rusty and isabel break up 12 days before xmas and danny and tess break up 8 days before hanukkah so dannys heading to debbie’s place in upstate new york to mope for the holidays when A BLIZZARD HITS and he gets stranded in midtown. and he and rusty are buds but like. Email Buds. they dont hang out irl and therefore they dont let their Totally Bud-Like Feelings mess up their professional relationship. but danny is stranded and its hanukkah and he ends up crashing at rustys place for the duration of the blizzard. and then rusty ends up coming to debbies place for the rest of the holidays. and then they kiss on new years eve and debbie kicks them out bc theyre being gross

- And More! thanks for the ask, anon! sorry it got so long lol i just have Many Thoughts

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Fifty-Six

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Smut and Fluff.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

A couple of weeks had gone by, and you were feeling a lot better. You and Harry hadn’t tried doing it from behind again, and you both were fine with it. When you truly felt ready he knew you’d tell him. You had been getting up early almost every day to go to the gym, and you felt like it really gave you the energy you needed to get through the day.

Harry had taken the pictures of Louis proposing to Eleanor, and she of course said yes. It was an extremely beautiful moment that he genuinely was happy to be a part of. You had surprised him with an evening in for Valentine’s Day. He came home from work and there were rose pedals everywhere. You had bought a skimpy silk robe, and you both ate chocolate covered strawberries and made love in the kitchen.

You’d be meeting your mom at Bernie and Phil’s this weekend to shop for dining room furniture. You were excited to finally set up that area. Once it was done you’d be able to plan a house warming party. You and Harry were coming back from grocery shopping when Michael, the desk attendant, called out to the two of you.

“Mr. and Mrs. Styles, you both have packages.” You and Harry walk over to him. A smile creeping on his face on the thought of you being called Mrs. Styles.

“Oh, Michael.” You giggle. “We’re not married.” Harry’s smile fades.

“My apologies…guess that’s why this says Y/F/N Y/L/N on here.” He hands you the package. “Here you are Mr. Styles.” He hands Harry his.

“Thanks.”

“Do you need help bringing anything up?” Before you can answer, Harry cuts you off.

“Think we can manage, mate, thanks.” You both go into the elevator. “These are from the same address.”

“They’re from Lou.”

“Oh! What do you think’s in them?”

“No idea.”

You both get into the apartment, and once all the groceries are put away you open the boxes.

“Oh, he’s so cute.” Harry says. “Look.” He shows you a framed picture of the two of them and a shirt that says Best Man Mate on it.”

“He wants you to be his best man?! Oh my god, that is cute.” Harry feels tears prick at his eyes.

“I’m so honored, honestly. This is such a nice picture of us too.”

“Your hair so long.”

“I know, it was forever ago.” He smiles. “Open yours.” You tear it open.

Inside was a note and t-shirt. The note said: I know we’ve only known each other a short while, but I’d be honored to have you in my wedding party. You’re important to Harry, Harry’s important to Louis, so you’re important to us too. You were surprised, but delighted. The shirt said Bridesmaid on it.

“How sweet! Let’s call them to accept.”

“Okay.” He takes his phone out and puts in on speaker.

“Oi! How’s my favorite lad doin’?”

“Good! You’re on speaker just FYI.”

“Oh, so I shouldn’t say how lovely I think your fat ass is?” You burst out laughing. “Hi Y/N!”

“Hi Louis, is El with you?”

“Yeah, lemme get her. El! Harry and Y/N are on the phone!”

“Oh! Hi guys!”

“We got your packages.” Harry says.

“And we both happily accept.”

“Oh wonderful! I didn’t know if it would be weird to ask you to be in the party or not. I sent one to Sarah too since Lou asked Niall to be a groomsman.”

“Not weird at all! I’m honored.”

“Loved the picture of us, mate.”

“That was all El!”

After talking a little while longer, Harry takes the phone to catch up with Louis privately. You get some homework done while they talk. You hear Harry giggling every few minutes, and then you hear a giant belly laugh come from the loft. You look up and see him wiping away tears. He hangs up and comes down the stairs and sits next to you.

“He’s so fuckin’ funny.”

“What he say?”

“Nothin’ in particular, he’s just so quick.” You hum in agreement. “Workin’ on homework, baby?”

“Mhm, almost done though. Just responding to some people’s posts.” He watches you type quickly.

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Type so fast?” He starts laughing.

“I don’t know.” You start laughing too. “Let me just finish this up, okay? I’m telling this person how much I agree with them.” You roll your eyes.

“Definitely don’t miss that about school.”You finish up your responses and close your laptop with a sigh. “What time are we meetin’ your mum tomorrow?”

“Um like eleven I think. We’ll wanna leave here around ten to get there on time.”

“Alrighty.” He looks at you. “Hey, come sit on my lap.”

He spreads his legs and stretches out on the sofa while you crawl into his lap. You rest your head against his neck. You enjoyed your lazy days together.

“Downstairs earlier, you laughed when that guy called you Mrs. Styles.”

“You know his name is Michael. And I simply giggled because it made me nervous.”

“Why’d it make you nervous?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug.

“You know that’ll be your last name someday.” You scoff at him. “What?”

“Who said I’ll be taking your last name if we get married?” You play with the curls on the nape of his neck.

“When.” Your cheeks blush and you feel butterflies soar through your body.

“Alright, when.”

“You don’t want my last name?” He pouts.

“S’not that I don’t…what if I go for my PhD someday? I’m the one doing the work, why should you get the credit?” You laugh. “I’d probably hyphenate it…maybe. I don’t know, is this something we need to discuss? Even if I didn’t legally take it I’m sure plenty of people would refer to me as Mrs. Styles.”

“I just think it has a nice ring to it.” He smirks.

“You act like we’re already engaged, babe. We’re a ways away from that, don’t you think?”

“I suppose.” He nods. “Am I gonna have to like check in with your dad before I do anythin’? You know, when the time comes.”

“I’m sure he’d appreciate it, but you certainly don’t need his permission, I’d be the one marrying you, not him.”

“What kind of wedding would you want?”

“Where’s all this coming from?” You giggle.

“Talkin’ t’Lou. Him and El literally just got engaged and they already have all these plans in motion.”

“Well, they’ve been together a long time right? I’m sure there are things they’ve thought about before.”

“Right, so I’m curious to know what you’d want.”

“It’s not just about me.” You kiss him on the cheek. “But I suppose an early fall wedding would be nice. Like late September? Some of the leaves have started changing, it’s still warm, but we wouldn’t be sweating. I’d want it to be at a hotel with an outside space for the ceremony. I’m not really into the whole reception is at a barn thirty minutes from the hotel so catch this shuttle at this specific time thing. I’d want it all in one place.”

“You don’t want to be married at a temple?”

“Well…I don’t think we could because you’re not Jewish. I’d want my cantor there maybe to bless us, but I’d be just as happy having a friend officiate. It doesn’t need to be religious.” You shrug.

“Fall weddings are less expensive too. So I’ve noticed.”

“Yeah! You know my style is pretty simple, so I think if things looked clean and elegant I’d be fine with whatever theme. I’d want to plan everything myself though, like with you only. I hate when there’s too many cooks in the kitchen.”

“Agreed. It’s for us, no one else should stick their nose in.”

“Exactly.”

“What kind of dress do you think you’d get?”

“No idea.”

“Really? I thought girls thought about that all the time.”

“I think it’s better to not have an idea and just go in with an open mind. I watch these people on Say Yes to the Dress and it’s exhausting.” You think for a moment. “I certainly know what I wouldn’t want. I know my taste well enough. I’d want something with lace probably.”

“Love when you wear lace.”

“What kind of suit would you want?”

“Somethin’ eccentric. I hate plain black suits. Somethin’ with a pattern maybe? A pop of color?”

“Anything you wear would look good.” You nuzzle your nose to his and he smiles.

“You’re cute.”

“No, you’re cute.” You both giggle. He presses his soft lips to yours for a tender kiss.

You lightly lace your fingers through his hair as you open your mouth for him. He licks into your mouth, getting a good taste of you. He moves his mouth, nipping at your jaw and then your neck.

“Don’t leave any marks, I don’t want my mom to see.” You roll your hips down on him.

“You can just wear a scarf.” He says against your neck.

“Please, bite me anywhere else.”

“Lift your shirt.” You take your shirt off. “Bra too.” You reach behind and unclasp it, letting it fall off your shoulders. Harry gets it the rest of the way off you.

His lips connect to one of your nipples. He sucks on it lightly at first, and then with more vigor, really getting his teeth into your skin. You let out a gasp. It felt good, too good. The way he would swirl his tongue around your pebbling nipple while also twisting your piercing with his teeth was incredible.

“Fuck.” Your head rolls back. He lets it go with a popping noise. He gazes at it while it turns a dark purple. He smiles and looks up at you.

“Y’like that, dontcha?”

“Mhm.” You smirk. “Let me do it to you. I’ve never sucked on your nipples before.”

“Mine are all hairy.”

“Not really. You manscape pretty nicely actually. I appreciate it.”

“You appreciate it down under.”

“True, if you had a full bush I would just not be able to suck you off.” You both laugh. You tug at the hem of his shirt and he helps you take it off. “M’gonna give you a good one.”

“Please, be my guest.”

You lean down and kiss one of his nipples. You start sucking on it, and he chuckles.

“What?”

“Just feels weird, keep goin’.”

You continue with your biting and sucking. You feel him raise his hips to yours, and you can feel how hard he is against you. You kiss down his chest, and torso, and lower stomach. He knew he was in for a treat. You undid the button on the top of his jeans and slowly undid the zipper. He lifted his hips so you could pull down his pants just slightly. You reach inside his boxers and pull out your not so little friend.

You kiss your way up from the base to the shaft and then to his tip. Your lips were already swollen, but you didn’t care. Harry loved the way you looked. His hands lightly graze through your hair, and you kiss his tip again. You open your mouth and lick up his shaft.

“Jesus.” He says through gritted teeth.

You lick up up and down a couple more times, and then make eye contact with him as you take him into your mouth. He bites his bottom lip as you work your way down. You close your eyes as you hollow your cheeks and bob your head up and down on him.

“Mm, baby, feels so good.” His head falls back.

Your hands tug his boxers down his hips so you can cup his balls. He bucks up further down your throat. You groan against him, feeling yourself getting wet from pleasuring him.

“Shit.” He pulls your head off him.

“What?” You say trying to catch your breath.

“Wanna be able to fuck you, love.”

“Oh.” Your cheeks flush. He pulls your face to his to kiss him. He bites down on your bottom lip and sucks it into his mouth. You groan again feeling the ache in your lower stomach grow.

“Do you want it here, or in the bedroom?” He says against your lips.

“Bedroom.”

“Alright, up we go.”

He holds onto you as he stands up, you wrap your legs around him. He steps out of his pants and boxers, leaving them behind in the living room, as he carries you into the bedroom. He lays you down, and reaches for your leggings, tugging them and your panties off in one motion. You part your legs for him, and he smirks when he sees that you’re glistening. You reach a hand down and rub on your clit, which was throbbing at this point. He stands there for a moment, just watching you play with yourself. It’s when you let out a soft moan that makes him get on the bed, and he moves your hand away.

“Please, allow me.” You giggle.

His fingers trace over your folds lightly, collecting all the wetness. He moves up towards your clit and your back arches slightly. He was being soft and slow, and it was turning you on so much. Light touches, like you could only just barely feel him. It was enough to drive you over the edge. He slips his middle and index finger inside you while his thumb stays on your clit. You gasp as he curls his fingers up, reaching that spot inside. Your walls tighten around his fingers, and loves how soft and velvety you are. Your hands clutch at the blankets. You grind your hips against his hand. Your head was far back in the pillow. Sweat was starting to form at your brow, and you were panting.

“Come for me baby, go on, you know you want to.”

“Fuck.”

Your back fully leaves the mattress as you release onto his fingers. He doesn’t let up though, he pumps in and out of you faster, and you clutch his bicep.

“Shit, Harry!”

“Gonna make ya come over and over, angel.”

“Fuck, shit, oh, OH!” You release again, and he retracts his fingers from you. You were drenched, absolutely fucking soaked. He sucks his fingers into his mouth, and moves to hover over you.

“Ready f’me?”

“God, yes.”

He lines himself up with you and pushes inside. You both moan at the delicious contact. You wrap your legs around his waist as he begins to move. He pushes some hair away from your face and your hands move to his broad shoulders.

“So beautiful.” He kisses you, and your tongues collide.

Your hands rake down his back, and your nails find themselves sinking into his ass. He groans into your neck. He was making you moan and pant like never before, you weren’t sure what it was about tonight.

“Harry.” You whimper when you feel him bottom out. You bite down on his earlobe.

One of his hands moves up to caress your breast, and he kneads it. He was really paying attention to your entire body tonight, you couldn’t get enough.

“You feel so good, Harry.” You moan. “Your dick is so fucking big.” You tighten around him.

“Like the way I take care of ya, baby girl?”

“Fuck, yes.” Your hands move to his hair and you tug at his roots.

“Shit.” You tug on him harder how you know he likes.

“Harry, I’m gonna come.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, I’m gonna comeeee.” You moan loudly into his ear as your third release comes.

His thrusts become sloppy and quick as his own release comes. He grabs one of your hands to hold as his come spurts inside of you.

“Oh god.” You say as you feel it fill you up.

He pulls out of you slowly, and he collapses on top of you. Your hands play with his hair as you both catch your breath. You feel his come start to drip out of you and you scrunch your face. He kisses your cheek before he gets up to use the bathroom.

“What do you feel like eatin’ f’dinner?” He asks when he comes back out.

“Pizza?”

“I’ll pop it in the oven.” He puts the robe that you bought for him on and leaves the room.

You get up and use the bathroom and put your own robe on, meeting him in the kitchen. You wrap your arms around him, and hug his back to your chest.

“Hi baby.” He says.

“That was incredible.” He chuckles and turns around to face you.

“Yeah?”

“Maybe after dinner we could do it again?” He kisses the top of your head.

“It would be my pleasure, love.”

//

Harry woke up cuddled in your arms around 8:30 when your alarm rudely woke him up. Sometimes he wished you weren’t so punctual. He didn’t want you to end the warm embrace you had around him. But he soon felt a kiss to his cheek, and you move away from him. He turns over watches you stretch and yawn. You rub the sleep away from your eyes before you get up to shuffle into the bathroom. He moves to the middle of the bed where you were just laying, just to bask in your warmth for a moment longer. Your pillow always smelt the same as your shampoo; apples and cinnamon. He was grateful that your mom wanted to buy the two of you some furniture, he just wasn’t thrilled to be sharing you today.

“Baby?” You say, voice still thick with sleep, after you come back from the bathroom.

“Hm?”

“Time to get up, my doll.” You rub your eyes again and move to the dresser to grab some clothes.

He popped up at the new term of endearment. You had never called him that before, and he wondered where it came from from. He wondered who else, if anyone, got to a point with you where you’d call them that. He flips the covers back and gets up.

“M’gonna turn the lights on now.” You say as he gives you a kiss to your temple, and goes into the bathroom.

You flip the lights on and grab a pair of black jeans from your dresser. You put on a baby blue sweater and throw your hair up in a high pony. You put on some fuzzy socks, and go into the kitchen to make a quick breakfast. You think oatmeal is a good idea for today, something nice and warm.

Harry comes into the kitchen just as you’re pouring the hot water over two bowls of oatmeal. He smiles and thanks you for the breakfast. You both sit at the island and scroll through your phones, neither of you really awake to talk yet. You both sip on some coffee, and you get an incoming call from Rachel.

“Hey girly.” You say.

“Hey! Do you have plans next weekend?”

“Um….” You look over at Harry. “I don’t think so, why?”

“Planning a girl’s night out for Sarah’s birthday.”

“Oh hell yeah! She doesn’t have plans with Niall?”

“They’re doing something Friday night. Figured we could all get together Saturday. Go to the club, have a sleepover after. She said she’s into it.”

“Yes! Yes, a thousand times yes.” You look at Harry again who’s looking at you. “Um, one second.” You put your hand over the speaker. “Harry, next weekend would you mind if I went out with the girls for Sarah’s birthday? Rachel wants to have a sleepover at their place.”

“Which night?”

“Saturday.”

“Sure.” He shrugs. You didn’t need to ask his permission, but he still appreciated the consideration.

“Okay, yeah, that definitely works.”

“Please don’t tell me you just asked Harry if you could come out to play like he’s your father.” She groans.

“You know I never asked my dad for permission for something in my entire life.” You smirk. Harry raises an eyebrow at you.

“True, you’re very good at telling someone you’re doing something instead of asking.” She laughs. “Cool, this’ll be so much fun. We should go to Pinz, they have the best dance floor.”

“Agreed.” Harry taps you on the shoulder. “What?”

“Ask her about when she wants to see Mariah.”

“Harry wants to know if you still want to get together with Mariah.”

“Definitely! We’ve been texting a lot. I think we’re both nervous to make a move for some reason.”

“Maybe we could do that Friday night then.”

“Works for me, I’m wide open.”

“Alright, I’ll have Harry set it all up since he’s been so adamant about it.” You giggle. “Talk to you soon, bye.” You hang up the phone and look at the time. “We should head out.”

“Okay.”

You and Harry head down to the lobby, hand in hand. Michael gives you a warm smile and you give him a little wave. Harry furrows his brows as you walk down to his car.

“The Weeknd has some new singles out, do you mind if I play them?”

“Go for it. When does the album come out?”

“March I think, so really soon.”

“Would you ever want to see him in concert?” Your jaw drops.

“Um, yeah. His tickets are on sale already, but I’m such snob I’d wanna be up close. The tickets at the Garden are way too expensive.”

“Hm.”

“Don’t, we’re not paying an arm and a leg for something so silly.”

“So you won’t be buyin’ them yourself then?”

“No.” You sigh. “My trip is going to set me back a bit. It’s too bad too, he’s coming in July. I love a summer concert.”

Harry already bought tickets for the two of you of course. The second he saw them go on sale he bought two seats relatively close to the stage. Your birthday was in August, he thought it would be a fun, early present. He couldn’t wait to give them to you once they came in the mail.

He watches as you listen very intently to After Hours. How you gasp when the beat picks up, and how you start laughing out of excitement.

“What?”

“This, it sounds a lot like is second to last album, I’m so excited. Heartless is really good too. God, he’s so talented. I read once that he makes music that would play in like a haunted strip club, and it just makes sense you know?” Harry chuckles.

You make it to Bernie and Phil’s and your mom is there waiting for you.

“Hi kids!” She says cheerily, giving you both a hug and a kiss. “You took measurements of the dining area?” She asks you as you walk into the store.

“Yup, got them on my phone.”

“Perfect. Now, are you two thinking square, rectangle, oh maybe round? Round is good if you’re very social. Do you want it to be more of a social space or formal?” You look up at Harry and he just shrugs at you. He truthfully doesn’t give a fuck about the shape of the table.

“Round might be nice. Let’s just look at everything and see what catches us.”

“Sounds good.”

Harry knew exactly what you were going to do. You were going to stay quiet while your mother made comments here and there. You were going to scan over every piece of furniture and make mental notes of all the pieces you liked. He watches as you’d brush your hand over tops of tables, and your fingertips would drape over certain tops of chairs. Afterwards you came up to him.

“I think a darker wood would like nice. Not black, but a nice dark brown.”

“I agree.” He says. “Show me the ones you liked best.” You take his hand and lead him around to three different options.

“Mummy, what do you think of this one?” You say pointing to a long rectangular table. “I looked at a few round ones, but you’d need stools for all of them and I just don’t think I like that.”

“I like this one a lot actually. I like the chairs that go with them too.”

“No padding on them…” Harry says, and you both look at him.

“We can buy cushions. It’s better to do that so you can replace them easier. Then you don’t have to pay to have each chair reupholstered.”

“Ah.” Harry nods.

“Do you like this one Harry?” You ask looking up at him with those big green eyes that he loves so much.

“Yeah, seems like it’ll do the job.”

“Why don’t you both sit down and see how you like it.”

You both do as she says and sit at either end of the table. The chairs were comfortable and proper. With a rug underneath, this table would be perfect in the dining area.

“It’s perfect, mumma.” Harry had never heard you refer to your mom like this either. Maybe you were just extra soft today. She kisses the top of your head.

“Then it’s yours.” You stand up and hug her.

“Thank you.”

“You’re more than welcome. Now, let’s go find some cushions and a rug to go with it.”

“Good idea.” Harry stifled a groan. Shopping like this practically knocked the wind out of him.

“C’mon, babe, you can pick out the cushions. Anything you want.”

Harry perks up and goes over with you and your mom to where the accessories were. Harry loved yellow, so he found some yellow cushions. You and your mom approved and found a yellow and grey patterned rug to go with them.

Your mom goes up to speak with a sales associate to get everything in order. You give your mom another hug after she pays for everything.

“How about some lunch kids? The Texas Roadhouse is just down the road.”

“Oh my god they have the best bread and butter. Up for it Harry?”

“Sure. Thanks again for everything.”

“Oh, you’re more than welcome honey.”

You all drive off to the restaurant, and get a table to sit at. You all order salads, and plenty of bread. You fill your mom in on how your class is going, and Harry tells her about his trip to Florida.

“Honey, we should go shopping next month to make sure we have some fun outfits for Aruba. God knows your Nannie is going to have the best bathing suits in the business with her.”

“Yeah!” You giggle. “It would be fun to bring some bright colored outfits down. I don’t need much though from the shopping we did last year.”

“Harry have you ever been to Aruba?”

“No, can’t say I have.” He tries to smile.

“Maybe some year we can have you come down too. Nannie’s place isn’t that big, but if we plan it out we could always see if she could switch one of her weeks with someone who has a two bedroom.”

“We could just us an air mattress.” You shrug. “The only time we spend in the room is for sleep as it is, we wouldn’t need a whole separate space.”

“I know, but it’s nice to have privacy. I could always bunk with Nannie and you two could take the pull out. Just something to think about for next year.”

“True. Would you like that next year Harry?”

“If you’re Nan’s okay with it.” He smiles.

“We can put a bug in her ear.”

“God, I can picture all the old biddies at the pool now.” Your mom laughs. “They’d go gaga over you.”

“I think Nannie would pass out seeing all the tattoos on Harry’s body though.”

“You have more than just your arms?”

“Yeah, he’s got these swallows on his collar bones, a giant butterfly here.” You point to it. “And these ferns right above his hips. And then you have that tiger on your thigh.”

“Oh right I remember you mentioning that.”

“And then he’s got a couple on his knees and ankles. They're all really cool.”

“Please don’t suede my daughter into getting one.”

“Would never dream of it.”

“Although I may get my nose pierced soon. A nice hope right here.” You touch your left nostril.

“Oh that would like nice actually. Those are really in style right now.” You nod along.

“So you were against her getting her be-“

“Harry!” You shake your head no and cough. Your mom squints at you.

“Let him finish his question.”

“Oh, I was just curious, um, because Y/N mentioned she wasn’t allowed to have her belly button pierced. So, um, you don’t mind her nose?”

“Nose piercing doesn’t get infected as easily. A naval piercing just says hello I’m open for business.”

“Jesus, mom.” You put your palm on your forehead. “Can you not be so judgey?”

“I’m not being judgey. I just think they send the wrong message is all.”

After lunch you and Harry thank your mom again for everything. All of your items will arrive in just four weeks. As you get into the car, Harry asks the obvious question.

“Wait so, your mum doesn’t know you have your naval pierced?”

“No way! She flipped when I got this fucking stud in my cartilage after I turned eighteen, no way in hell I was going to tell her about this.”

“So what do you wear on vacation?”

“Oh, I just take it out.”

“She doesn’t notice the hole from it?”

“She’s not inspecting me. I also tend to wear a one piece on family vacations. No need to be so revealing.”

“And she’s never seen a picture?”

“My Instagram is private, and I would never post anything too revealing on my Facebook.”

“Do your siblings know?”

“Erica does, but she’s the only one. I swore her to secrecy, she has hers pierced too.”

“You guys are wild.” He chuckles.

“Sometimes leaving things out is more convenient. Less of a headache. She doesn’t need to know everything about me.”

“True. Would’ve been helpful if I knew it was a secret.”

“I didn’t think it would ever come up.”

“So, when are we gettin’ that little nose of yours pierced?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. I’d love to have the hoop in before I leave. Mariah said I need to get the stud done first.”

“Why don’t we go one day after work? It could be fun, I could get a new tattoo while you get it done.”

“I’d want you to hold my hand!” He chuckles.

“Alright.”

“What tattoo would you get?”

“Absolutely no idea.”

He did have an idea. He wanted to get a small sunflower where he had space on his left arm. Sunflowers were your favorite, and he wanted a tattoo for you, but he didn’t want to get anything crazy just in case.

“You’re so spontaneous, I love it. Yeah, maybe Wednesday after work?”

“I’ll make an appointment for us.” He smiles.

“I can pick out a new stud for my stomach while I’m there. I’m sick of this one.” You lift your shirt slightly to show him.

“What would get instead?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you can help me pick something out?”

“Sure.” He pats your belly and you giggle.

This weekend was a very good for you two. You were feeling happier day by day, and you knew seeing Dr. Mara consistently had something to do with it. You and Harry had been working on so many things, and you both noticed the small changes.

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

The Salem House or The Scottish Cottage

Quick Tag List: @kuruumiya @spacelizardtrashboys @stupidbluegirl @enigmaticandunstable @nattinngrst

This Passage Contains Potentially: swearing, violence, blood, angst, whump, fluff and smutty content.

Summary: Rod and Kirby move in to their new cottage home in Salem, Oregon.

Kirby's POV:

Rod blindfolded me with one of his ties and drove our rented van out to the property, taking off my blindfold in front of the house.

"There it is, our new home," he twirled the keys around his index finger, "all ours now, Kirbs."

There it was, white panel exterior with fancy windows and lights along both sides of the gravel path towards the house. Without thinking I pulled Rod into a hug and kissed him, tears of happiness rolling down my cheek.

"Woah, baby, are ya alright sweetheart?"

"I love it, and I love you and-" Upon hearing that, Rod hoisted me over his shoulder, "Woah, Roddy, what are you doing?"

"Taking you inside and carrying you to the one room I know you're gonna love."

He carried me through the front double doors, through the foyer and then the kitchen, before carrying me past the television and sofa, past what I believe is the ground floor bathroom and up the stairs, letting me get a glance at the basement staircase as we went up to the top floor of our new home.

He then put me down in front of a pale green door with a childish or childlike, chalk or pastel drawing on the front.

I turned the handle slowly, not knowing what to expect.

Then I saw it.

The lone white bassinet.

Surrounded by soft toys and things you'd assume would be in a nursery.

"The former owners said that they're daughter was gonna move in before she moved to L.A. They knew she had a baby and set this room up. I'm gonna be honest with ya and tell ya that I let a couple tears slip when I saw this room ma-self, so I completely understand if you need a moment alone."

"Rod, Roddy, as much as I hate the weird wallpaper in the foyer, this room is," I took a second to compose myself, "It's perfect."

"Do ya wanna see our bedroom?"

"Yeah."

Rod showed me around the rest of the house before going into the basement.

"There's no attic, so the basement will have to do if we want to store anything anywhere."

The basement was large, the only room separated off from the rest of the basement was another bathroom. I walked to the opposite side of the basement and stopped in my tracks.

"What's wrong babe?"

"They have a hot tub?!"

"What?"

Rod walked over to me, also stopping upon seeing the hot tub in it's own corner of the basement, separate from the gym equipment and rugs and the very empty basement.

"What d'ya reckon they use that for?" Rod asked, teasing me slightly.

"No, Rod, eww, that's gross, you wouldn't dare suggest that!"

"Hot tub sex, babe, it's a thing."

"We are not doing that. Ever!"

"We are alone in the house, you know." He started unbuckling his belt, chucking it as well as his sporran down at his feet, "I know we've gotta fly back to the other side of the country later, but, right now, we're home, honey," He started walking towards me, whipping his jacket and shirt off, leaving him in his kilt and boots as he ran his hand through his hair, letting out a deep guttural sigh.

"I guess we could test out the new bed, Roddy." I started unbuttoning my shirt, exposing the peach toned tank top underneath.

"Or, We could have sex right here and now," He suggested, whipping his kilt off and in true Scottish fashion, revealing nothing but his bare body below.

He unclenched his hand, showing off the fact that he had brought a condom with him.

By the time we got to Taunton, Massachusetts on the first of March, Roddy had set aside some time for us to redecorate the house, and by the time we actually got around to redecorating, Roddy had recruited the rest of the D.O.D as well a Schultz, Orton and Orndorff to help us. We had met back at the house on the Eleventh (of March) and unbeknownst to me, Piper had made a couple calls to his friends from back in his NWA and Mid Atlantic days.

"Woo!"

"He didn't." Schultz grunted out, partly worried and partly surprised.

"He didn't do what … David?"

Schultz guided me outside to meet the guys.

"Piper! introduce ya wife to the boys, I'll go grab us some beer."

"I'm not his wife," I called after him as he walked back inside, "So, Roddy, who are these guys."

Rod leant up to kiss me, he would have backed me into the nearest wall if I didn't pull away immediately after, concern taking over any hint of a flirtatious mood in me.

"Who's this fine female?"

I recognised the voice from the yell earlier.

"Ric, this is my girlfriend, Kirby. Kirby, this is Ric Flair. Over there," he gestured to the other four, "Are Tully Blanchard, with the black hair, JJ Dillon, the other blonde looking one and Ole and Arn Anderson."

"Are they here to help or are they here to distract you?"

"The only thing distracting me is the idea of seeing you na-"

I covered Rod's mouth with my hand and gave Ric a sheepish smile, "I apologise for my hus, I mean boyfriend's attitude Ric."

"You almost said husband, Kirbs." Rod whispered to me as we led the boys inside, before he took me aside.

"It was a slip of the tongue."

"I'm sorry, about the kiss, I got a bit jealous because I know what Ric can be like, with women in particular."

"Rod, you shouldn't have to apologise for that, I love ya. I was going to start looking for you anyway, what d'ya want for lunch?"

"Don't you worry about that, I'll go grill those hamburgers we have in the fridge and … hey look, beer."

"Thank you, David."

"Anytime, Tall-ass."

"Look, babe, I'll deal with it alright, you stop worrying and I'll deal with it. I'm the man of the house so I'll deal with it."

I came up behind Roddy, putting my head on his shoulder and wrapping my arms around his waist, kissing his neck.

"I'm gonna go rest for a bit Rod, my head feels funny."

"Baby, baby come here."

Rod helped me upstairs, making sure I didn't fall over and letting me lay on the bed.

"We have today and tomorrow here baby, relax."

"Rod, you know me, you know I wind myself up with worry."

"I know," He brushed his thumbs over my knuckles, "I'm gonna get you some hand wraps or something, stop punching things until ya knuckles bleed."

"I thought you were gonna go cook."

"I am, but, right now, I'm taking in every little detail of the woman I love."

"You softie."

"Oh really? I'm soft. You worry way more than me baby."

"I love you, Roddy."

"I love you too, Kirby."

I slept for a short while until I was woken up by Piper and Schultz yelling obscenities at each other. I ran down the stairs and outside the house to see the two grown men squabbling like children.

Without saying anything I picked Roddy up by his midsection and took him back inside, chucking him down on the sofa.

"I'm gonna fuckin-"

"Roderick!"

"Yes, baby."

"You are drunk, and shut up."

"Yes, Sweetheart."

I helped Roddy up, almost gagging at how strong the smell of alcohol was coming from him, swiftly avoiding his attempts at kissing me and placing my hand over his mouth.

By the Thirteenth we were back working and Rod had started to get fidgety around me until things came to a head on the Thirtieth.

"Rod, are you alright, you've been awfully quiet today."

"I'm fine baby, actually, Kirby?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you like to be on Piper's Pit?"

"When?"

"Sunday, Yes or No?"

"This Sunday?"

"Yeah."

"Well, there's your answer."

"Wait, you'll do it."

"Of fucking course I'll do it. I don't give a fuck what Damien says."

He let out a chuckle as I pulled into the hotel parking lot.

"How's the Visa status going?"

"It's good, I'll hopefully be a US citizen before the end of May."

"So, May, you'll be a citizen, so," He mumbled to himself for a short while, "Alright, cool."

Before long it was time for me to be on Piper's Pit, fully expecting Roddy to do something and cause a ruckus to occur.

"Well, I'd just like you to know, it's a pleasure to have our first, female, guest on Piper's Pit. I want you to know that I asked every single female in the entire WWF if they would be on the Pit and only one of them said 'yes' to me. The only woman with enough guts to face me with 'Gluttony' herself, Kirby Lucifarian. Kirby, I would like to thank you for being brave enough to come out here and face me. I had Captain Lou on here last week and he said something vague about you and your sisters protecting Lauper. Why would a woman like you, someone who doesn't smoke, doesn't swear, doesn't drink, or shack up with skinny little idiots like Dave Wolff, Why would a great and accomplished female wrestler like you offer her protection to Lauper?"

"First of all, Piper, thank you for having me on here."

"My pleasure."

"Secondly, I was going to let you unmask me, but you showed support of Big John Studd, A man I greatly despise for his disrespect of both me and André."

"I am sorry for going back on that unspoken promise, Miss Lucifarian."

"Thank you for the apology, Roddy, Thirdly, may I say that I did not offer my services of protection to Miss Lauper, instead that was my father who told, Miss Lauper, that the D.O.D would protect her. Why on earth would a woman with an intelligence that rivals, yours for example, protect a girl like Cyndi Lauper?"

"I don't admire a lot of women, but you, I like you. I admire your intelligence, your ability to strike fear into the hearts of men with your words alone. I know that you have been searching for your next challenging opponent, and I for one don't wanna offer myself up, I just want to know how difficult it has been for the past few weeks going without a challenging enough opponent for your skill level?"

"Well, Piper, it's been tough, honestly, I think I may have scared everyone off. As someone who has previously been banned from women's competition, I find getting any support in the ring quite hard at times. I find your lack of fear quite charming, honest to the Lord above, you charm me, boyo."

"Thank you, you're a real sweetheart. Quick question, why do you call me 'boyo'?"

"Don't you call men 'lad' in Glasgow?"

"Oh, I see, anyway, before you go, one last thing."

I wasn't expecting this, the rest me and Rod had planned in advance, but not that line, he said he wasn't going to pull anything, he gave me his word.

Then, before I knew what was going on, he unbuckled my mask, pulling it down for a moment and kissed me square on the lips, in front of the cameras and the fans.

I tried to stand up and he dipped me down into the kiss, much to the enjoyment of the fans, who were hooting and hollering, obviously this doesn't happen much in the WWF.

Roddy kept his right hand intertwined with my ponytail and had his left arm around my back, supporting most of my waist as he brought me back up and helped me re-fix my mask into it's rightful spot.

After the show I tried to avoid Roddy for a couple minutes, trying to make sense of why he would do such a thing knowing full well we were not an 'out' couple or even an 'in' couple with the fans, sure the fans enjoying the moment was nice, but we were both heels, we were not supposed to do that off-screen, let alone on-screen and in front of a full crowd of fans.

I came to the decision to drop it for now and wait for Rod to hopefully explain his actions or somehow work it into a programme.

My mind started to wonder, maybe he would try to use that as blackmail against Damien, or even against me.

The D200's door opening and slamming shut caught me off guard, making me jump a little.

"I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to scare ya."

"I'm fine, Roddy, just caught up in my thoughts, that's all."

"What were ya thinking about?"

"Nothing important, mainly just what happened earlier."

"Ya mean, me, Orndorff and Schultz winning the match?"

"No, Roderick, the kiss, we didn't plan that."

"Oh, yeah. I forgot to clear that with ya, but Orndorff and Schultz said that it would get the fans interested."

"Hon."

"Yeah?"

"Next time, please clear everything we do in a promo or interview with me first, so I don't start wondering if you'll blackmail me."

"I would never blackmail ya, maybe Damien, but never you."

"I love you, ya hot-headed, kilt wearing idiot."

"I love you to, ya blonde, gothic, tattooed Ivory tower."

"Did you call me an 'Ivory tower'?"

"You're tall and pale, what d'ya want me to say?"

END OF THE SALEM HOUSE or THE SCOTTISH COTTAGE

[all-ringils-blazing]

Tag Games

I was tagged by my beloved @arnoediad in 2 tag games, wow thank you darling! ❤ This is the first one:

**RULES: Answer 21 questions  theres only 15, but whatever and then tag 21 people

Not gonna tag 21 people though I have a life guys who am I kidding I spend my free time in this site I just own a very lazy ass✌

Nicknames: Loutsos, Lou, Loulou, Luigi yeah I know

Zodiac: Scorpio

Height: 173 cm

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Last thing googled: Candlemass Grammys 2020 

Do you get asks: No

Amount of sleep: 5 hours that bitch is gonna die

Lucky number: I always believed that my lucky number is my big brother’s day of birth or his year of birth etc but I just dont think so nah

What are you wearing: Pfff pervert.... Anyways, black sweater, gray leggings. I didnt leave my house today so I didnt dress up, just wearing house clothes.

Dream trip: Ireland❤ Yeah yeah I went to Ireland last year and it was a dream coming true. But obviously it wasnt enough, I need more. I wanna see everything in this enchanting beauty of a country aaaah😍 Also Scotland, Switzerland and Faroe Islands are some dreamy destinations too and yes I will go soon, nobody is gonna stop me, Ireland was only the beginning.  

Instruments: Classic guitar, not something great though but I’m trying Susan!

Languages: Greek, English, just a little bit of German who am I kidding once again lol I have forgotten anything German that was inside my head 9 years ago

Favorite Song(s): The 100th time I say it obviously I have not a specific fav song, it always depends on my mood and period of time. For example, lately I’m busy adoring Ozzy’s new song Under the Graveyard and this song from this band that I discovered recently, Wind Rose with Diggy Diggy Hole lol aren’t they the coolest? And obviously as a blues/jazz shitty fan I can’t stop listening to this masterpiece, I’m Gonna Love You by Fred James. And how can I forget the new Candlemass album and the song Astorolus-The Great Octopus? My sweet boys didn’t win that Grammy but who cares I love you guys !!! 😭 Oh yeah and the Witcher series osts like the kinky Yennefer’s Orgy Theme, Ragamuffin hmmmmm 😏 no seriously it helps me with studying heh. Also I have fallen in love with a Greek hard rock band which I enjoyed live one month ago, Noely Rayn. They have lovely songs, they give me so many feelings. Also released their 2nd album months ago. Some songs I deeply love are Remember Our Midnight,  Try to Survive and Bleeding from their new album. There are more but I have to shut up now I can talk about music till the world ends ok. (This answer kind of sums up that song game you adorable fucker @underworld-priest tagged me some days ago)

Random fact: Ehm I don’t know maybe that I chew my tongue like a gum when I am super dedicated to something I’m doing? It’s a creepy thing I didn’t realize until my 15 years when a friend asked me why I do that while we were solving some maths together.

Aesthetic: Uuum....Tho being a metalhead I was never into goth or extremely deadly dark side style/ aesthetic etc but Im more of a classic 80s rocker/metalhead aesthetic fan, generally a vintage and jazzy one. Magical as hell.   

And here is the 2nd one:

I have to answer with 3 random facts about me. Okeeeeey soooooo

1. My hair is the only thing of my appearance  that I always want to be on point like I never leave the house with bad hair and if it is (what can we do) a bad hair day I feel very fuckin uncomfortable all day.

2. Ehm I hate changes, Im a person that needs time to adjust and get used to a new situation so yeah I hate them.

3. Ehhhhh......Isara by Eluveitie always reminds me of my brother. 

Ooooof it’s really hard searching for facts about yourself no kidding here.

Behold peasants! Tags are coming! Gonna tag some new people too. Hello new neighbors !

@fresno-nightcrawler @the-white-frost @huffleppuffs @emptyskulls @emperor-draygon @theslumberofthebeast @mark0fcourage (Mate I adore your creepy clown avatar lol) @goatmars @princeimrahils @al-capwned @wholelottatiffy @underworld-priest @the-music-dork @ace-bi-says-hi @silent-calling @mochibat @harmonicstupidity @kittyinhighheels @killinguwithumbrellas @marias-wonderland @punk-courtesan @sophisticatedfangirling 

Omg look at all these tags I made it !!! I don’t have a life in the end.