#lots of self promotion here

[gildedmuse]

Hopes this ask helps as a distraction but say in a scenario where Zoro 1) is never tied to that cross and 2) never meets Luffy as a result, do you still think he would've become a pirate? Or do you think he would've just stayed a bounty hunter? Also say if Kuina did survive do you think she and Zoro would've become bounty hunter as well I'd they left the island to become stronger :0?

I have had some ideas as Zoro as a bounty hunter who joins Baroque Works, but thats like... barely not being a pirate. Oh, one where he became a bounty hunter, Saga a marine, and Kuina a pirate. I don't know, the girl screams either Honorable Samurai to me or else, "fuck yeah they told me I couldn't be a kenshi but no one tells pirate what she can't be!"

As for Zoro, his commitment to being Bounty Hunter was never that strong. At first he takss issue with Luffy asking him to be a pirate and Zoro considers that a kind of crook which is just down to his sense of honor in a lot of ways. After he realized Luffy actively helped people and, also, got in a hell of lot of fights he was all for it.

See, Zoro was only ever a Bounty Hunter in the first place because:

Boy needs sake. And sometimes food. Turns out these cost coin.

He needed to get stronger, and to do that he neded stronger opponents

They like... Point you to the guys you have to beat and then you do it and they give you money.

When he realized he could get all oit taht oit of pirating only with less marine assholes, more sake, and tougher enemies? Why would he ever go back?

So, I don't know if he'd stay a Bounty Hunter, but my guess is only if someone took him under their patronage, because sooner or later that boy would be out of good fights, out of food, and outside any known location.

Don't get me wrong, Zoro is VERY self determined, bit he does best when he has someone to, if not follow, believe in. It keeps him focused on bigger things and his loyalty to that person keeps him moving forward. You see it with Kuina, with Luffy, even with Mihawk. I think Zoro is simply naturally drawn to those who challenge him, and who dare him to be better, but also are - in his own definition - honorable and truthworthy, and so he was always going to be a First Mate for SOMEONE, regardless.

As you can see from:

All Hearts: Zoro gets stolen as a slave, still becomes a pirate - for Law - Kuina is alive and a Strawhat. [ZoLaw, minor other ships]

Three of Spades: Technically Zoro does get locked up but it was when he was younger and becomes a Spade Pirate. (Zoro/maybe Ace?, ZoLaw)

Three Tailed Fox: Zoro was a bounty hunter but had agreed to help these guys not knowing they were pirates, and ends up lost in a game of Davy Jones games. However, he's too honorable to back out. (ZoLaw, BARELY)

Seeing Red: Mihawk finds a lost baby Zoro and hands him over to Shanks because eww babies. He grows up a very independent Red Head Pirate. (MiZo mentiond, ZoLaw, Benn/Shanks)

Thriller Blade: Zoro was following around his sister Perona when they get kidnapped by pirate. Fighting zombies is more fun than tea parties so he's not too bothered. (ZoLaw BARELY)

Laws & Rebellions: Law as a Marine Officer, Zoro as a Marine who is actually a revolutionary undercover. (ZoLaw, ZoAce)

POTENTIALS:

Zoro (along with Law and Perona) becoming a Hawkeye Pirate

Zoro becoming a Doflamingo Pirate (there are reasons)

Zoro being in Buggy's gang

Zoro as an actual Marine obsessed with Pirate Law

Marine Law obsessed with Bounty Hunter/Robin Hood Zoro

Zoro as a leader of a dojo and all the famouse kenshi pirates come through

Baroque Works Zoro (who runs of with Law)

Zoro joining Kuina's crew. (For a while I thought of him joining Sabo's old crew, who know, when they meet up if Sabo hadn't gone right into the revoltion.)

I also like the idea of Zoro being from Wano and like, the one person Yamato really likes (Denjiro doesn't think he's too bad, either, personally) and after Ace dies they set out as their own little pirate crew.

Hope this even kind of maybe adressed you question! And thanks!

[smile-files]

this might be a hot take... but if you care about disavowing media made by bad people out of fear of looking like a bad person yourself more than you care about actually doing good things... you might have your priorities (and your morals) screwed up a bit :/

(see my tags for more of my thoughts on this topic! please try to avoid making make bad-faith assumptions about what i mean!)

[musicalmoritz]

I want to make it very clear that I do not have writers block, the only reason I haven’t finished that Aoinene fic yet is bcuz I’m lazy af. And because my sister keeps asking to hang out every time I sit down to work on it and I can’t break the sacred bond of sibling time🍎

[tonariofjananda]

This was my participation piece for the @yuriolympics2023 ‘s first prompt, “Memory.”✌️

The fic covers things that will happen in Season 3 (including a theory that I’m treating as 100% canon tbh, lol) so if you’re not caught up with the manga, please keep that in mind :)

[justabunchofdragons]

4.8k words of grian getting. basically skulk poisoning. enjoy :D <- i spent very long on this rly would appreciate rbs !!

[bccksmarts]

        * 𝐒𝐡𝐞❜𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝑩𝑹𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑬𝑺𝑻 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑪𝑯 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐀𝐠𝐞

Literate, Independent & Selective roleplay blog for Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter / Wizarding World franchise.

VERY MUCH ANTI-JKR.

Book & Movie compliant for the most part.

Scripted & Portrayed by Pom.

        Rules. // About. ( + Bonds, Verses, etc. )

[ X ]

[hazel2468]

Fuck it. I have an art twitter now. I'm @CiciDraws there. I don't post a lot, and most of what is on there is my older shit, but since I'm in the middle of an art streak, I figured why not.

I DO post adult content there so. If you're not an adult, don't. I post mostly Avery, although I imagine at some point I'll be posting more Magic fanart, if my brain ever decides to let me finish that Brains and Brawn piece I was working on.

[moonwabbitt]

im sorry to make so many pluging posts,,

im looking for work, but it's been a slow process, (i started back in dec) my disability limits me to what jobs are available to me in my area, disability payments aren't enough to cover household + pet costs;;; im doing the best i can but i could really use the money

[mynqzo]

reposting this information to it's own post because asker was a racist.

What's going on right now in the Republic of Georgia / Sakartvelo? A new legislation just passed that official bans - human rights essentially, gay-marriage, gender-firming care and surgery, any 'promotion' of queer identity. Soon after this legislation passed, trans model Kesaria Abramidze was murdered as a direct consequence of this.

Why is this super extra bad? Besides the several many lives at stake, the safety of queer families and the lethality of hate crimes, Georgia's wish to enter the EU is falling to a complete simmer due to this, soon to be extinguished completely. Here is an article about the international reaction to this legislation:

What can you do to help? The biggest thing we currently rely on is international push back especially from the EU members and the possible overturn of this in the upcoming election. It does not help that this law is implemented due to greedy fucks and Russian puppets in Georgia who benefit from this. source:

You might hear many refer to this as 'Russian law' which is due to the fact that Georgia, under this puppet-leadership mimics Russian laws like the 'Foreign Agents Law' that was put into work only a few months prior the law assumes 'only receiving foreign funds makes an organization a foreign agent.' and I don't think I have to explain how horrendous that is.

We also rely on our president to veto the legislation before it goes into 'full effect' (though the consequences and effect have already begun) but even with this the political party which instated this legislation argue to over-ride her veto in parliament. source:

The most important thing right now is vocal pushback, and public support of the queer community. with what happened to Kesaria (may she rest in peace) a lot of trans people are fearing for their lives, and queer families no longer can remain in their own country if they want to continue to be themselves in any way.

Spread love, a lot of it like as much as you can offer to queer Georgians everywhere.

[euthymiya]

Starting an internship at the company Satoru’s father owns but you don’t know who he is just yet.

He’s annoying. He always comes back from lunch late, lets his phone ring at his desk (that’s conveniently placed next to yours) past the three ring policy, writes emails with silly and immature sign-offs, cracks jokes during meetings, and somehow, despite always finishing his paperwork late, he never manages to lose his damn job.

You try to mind your own business. But you can’t help but feel him slowly grate at your nerves as he acts so unprofessional and for some weird reason, not one person seems to care.

He seems pretty intrigued with you, too, if matters couldn’t get worse.

“Hey,” he grins. You try to ignore the tilt of his lips in amusement as you just barely fight off rolling your eyes.

“Can I help you with something?” You sigh, “I’m currently in the middle of something that requires my full attention, but maybe we could—”

“You really love your office jargon,” he hums, cutting you off with a wider grin, “so dedicated.”

“Oh, my apologies,” you smile tightly. He seems to straighten a little, some sick, twisted form of excitement rushing through his system at the way he seems to get under your skin. “Allow me to use simpler language for you to understand: go away, I’m busy.”

Someone has to stand up to this prick, you think. He puts in half the effort, and somehow, you’re pretty sure your boss has a soft spot for him. You don’t understand it, and quite frankly, you’ll be damned if a lazy, lackluster man snags a promotion before your hardworking self.

“Oh wow,” he snorts, “breaking your strictly professional streak, are you? You must be really occupied. I guess I’ll borrow your stapler later.”

Gritting your teeth, you give him yet another tight lipped smile before grabbing the stapler off your desk and handing it to him. (A small part of you resists the urge to throw it square at his face. Maybe the image of him on the floor with a bloodied nose would make your day a little easier, but then you’re sure you’d be jobless).

“Here you go,” you say with as much kindness as you can muster. (It’s not a lot). “Please do bring it back when you’re done. Some of us actually complete paper work, so the stapler is a necessity.”

“Oh yeah?” He tilts his head, eyes sparkling with mischief, “don’t worry, I won’t hold your stapler hostage for too long. I wouldn’t want to disrupt the flow of your productivity.”

You watch with wary eyes as he walks back to his desk, stapling some small, tiny note of sorts before walking right back, handing the paper and the stapler to you.

“What’s this?” You raise a brow.

“Some paper work for you to fill out,” he grins, the vagueness of his answer making a vein all but pop in your forehead.

Before you even have a chance to tell him that you most certainly will not be entertaining whatever silly prank he’s playing, he walks right off, sagging into his chair as he does an obnoxious little spin and goes back to typing at his computer. Probably yet another email with a ridiculous ending, you think to yourself.

Against your better judgement, you stare at the note, eyeing the small flap he’s stapled over an index card. You lift it up, quickly scanning over his scribbled writing.

Want to grab coffee during lunch? Check your answer:

▢ yes! ▢ absolutely! ▢ most definitely!

Your eye twitches.

Grabbing a pen, you quickly add a box underneath his (very confident) options, checking it off and writing in neat, pristine handwriting:

▣ not a chance!

You stand, walking over to his desk and ignoring his perked up, excited little smile as you drop the note back on the table and head back to your own desk. A tiny wave of satisfaction weaves through your body when you notice him read over your response and deflate, a small pout forming over his lips.

Regretfully, a small part of you can’t help but acknowledge that he’s actually…kind of cute when his lips are curled like that. But a larger part of you shakes that thought away and cringes internally. It’s a shame his personality ruins the genetic blessings he seems to have been bestowed with.

And you think that’s the end of it—but of course, with someone like Satoru in the office, there’s never the end of anything.

You watch as an email pops up on your screen, opening it only to stare blankly at his name and roll your eyes at the subject line:

────────────────────────

Follow-Up on Submitted Paperwork

Greetings office neighbor,

Thank you for submitting the paperwork. Unfortunately, I couldn’t help but notice that it does not fully align with the outlined guidelines. Could you please provide clarification or revise the submission accordingly?

Thanks a million,

Gojo Satoru :)

────────────────────────

And there he goes again with those obnoxious sign-offs, you think bitterly. Instantly, you’re clicking away at your keyboard as you type back an agitated response. Of course, you really shouldn’t entertain his ridiculous schemes, but something about him gets under your skin enough that you simply can’t help yourself.

You huff in approval at your response as you read it over before hitting send.

Instantly, as if he was waiting, you see his hand reach for his mouse and click on his screen to open your email as his eyes scan over your reply:

────────────────────────

Thank you for reaching out,

Unfortunately, I was unable to fully adhere to the outlined guidelines, as they are not viable in this situation. To address this, I adjusted the submission to align more effectively with a more practical outcome.

Hope that helps!

Your office neighbor :)

────────────────────────

Just when you think he’s given up, he rolls his chair over to your desk, causing a couple of annoyed heads to tilt up and glare at him for the noise before turning their attention back to their work. You pinch your nose as his chair rolls to a stop in front of your desk.

“Yes?” You grit through your teeth.

“Hey, office neighbor,” he hums, “just wanted to clarify your most recent email with you. I’m a bit confused.”

“Which part confused you?” You bat your lashes in faux charm, sarcastically smiling at him as he hums, grabbing a piece of candy from your little bowl of sweets at your desk and helping himself.

Your eye twitches a little at the gesture. Those are for you to enjoy throughout a miserable work day.

“Um…” he trails off as he pretends to think, “I’d say all of it.”

“I see,” you nod slowly, fighting every bone in your body not to snap at him with a colorful choice of words. “Essentially, the options in your original document did not highlight a plausible set of deliverables, so I corrected them for you with a more realistic one. Make sense?”

“Not really,” he sighs dramatically, pretending to scratch his head in confusion. You want nothing more than to grab those snowy locks and slam his face into your paper shredder. “Could you go over it one more time? I’m still lost.”

You’re just about to lose your patience with him when suddenly, the entire office seems to collectively take in a sharp breath, everyone scrambling to look as productive as possible while a tall, older looking man with suspiciously familiar white hair and blue eyes walks through the office. Something in your brain sets off alarm bells, but you can’t quite completely piece it together what it is about him seems so….recognizable.

“Who’s that?” You frown, scrunching your nose in confusion as everyone straightens up.

“That would be the final boss,” he snorts. You roll your eyes at his word choice before blinking and straightening up yourself.

“Oh my god,” you gasp, voice a panicked whisper as you ask, “you mean the owner of this company?”

“Yeah,” he drawls, raising a brow at you in amusement. “Never seen him before?”

“No,” you hiss, “I’m just the intern! Now go back to your desk before he thinks we’re goofing off, I’d like to keep my job, please.”

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” he hums.

You send him a nasty glare, just about at your wits end as you whisper-yell, “I am going to throw my stapler right at your—”

“Satoru, I need you in my office,” comes a stern, deep voice, interrupting you as you quickly shut your mouth.

“You got it, old man,” he salutes in mock seriousness. Suddenly, your spine goes rigid and your eyes widen. The man walks off with a firm nod as Satoru stands, giving you an innocent smile.

Suddenly, it dawns on you just why he looked so strikingly familiar.

“Did you just call him old man?” You blink, mouth agape.

“Yup,” he winks, walking backwards as his eyes stay trained on you while he heads for the elevator. “I’ll put in a good word for you when he’s in a better mood at home tonight. I think we can discuss the specifics over coffee during our lunch hour, yeah?”

[queenofbaws]

hey friendos - hoping to be able to get back into flash fiction weekends soon, but until then, here's another lil' bump of what i've been working on in the background <3

hope the weekend is treating you kindly so far 🥰

before the dawn, a bad moon rising an(other) Until Dawn/The Quarry crossover by TheIcyQueen

After losing his sisters to a tragic accident exactly one year ago, Josh Washington invites his “friends” to his family’s lodge for a party they’ll never forget. No one, he swears, NO ONE, is going to have a worse time up on that mountain than they will. …except for the hunters stuck in the shadows, doing their damnedest to kill the ravenous beast stalking every move they make. THEY’LL probably have a pretty bad time. That’s a lot of kids to watch, after all, and they keep splitting up! And fighting! And screaming! And, uh…what’s with all the dead pigs lying around? On second thought, maybe it’d be easier to just let the kids die. (A reimagining of Until Dawn where everyone’s favorite flamethrower guy, Jack “The Stranger” Fiddler, has some backup: The Hackett brothers. Surely this won’t end poorly for anyone involved! Surely!!!)

Read on AO3!

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

john green quit tumblr because of the cock monologue

No, he didn’t.

This all happened a long time ago, and my memory is imperfect, but here’s my memory: The cock monologue certainly hurt my feelings! But when people are trying to force someone out of a virtual space, they sometimes resort to behavior that is similar to bullying except it’s not completely identical to bullying because the person they’re making fun of has a lot of power. (As someone who got bullied a lot in school, the feeling was similar in 2014 but it wasn’t identical--because I was aware of the fact that I was okay, that what was in danger was certain aspects of my identity/self-value that I treasured but not my entire personhood itself.)

Anyway, it hurt my feelings, and still hurts my feelings when I see it shared (it feels to me like a joke about my sexuality, although I understand other people don’t see it that way; but yeah, you don’t know much about my sexuality and I don’t really want you to but it feels like a joke about that to me, which just bums me out). 

But all of that stuff is a side effect of my job and having been successful at it, and I like my job. It is a great job. All jobs have aspects that suck. My job has fewer such aspects than other jobs I’ve had.

So yeah, I did not quit tumblr because of the cock monologue. (I also did not ask tumblr to make reblogs un-editable.) .

I quit tumblr because a few people started to make extremely specific threats. One might, for instance, send me an ask that featured a google streetview screenshot of my home alongside a plan for breaking into it.

I was super scared of these people (or possible person pretending to be a few people?) because they seemed to have a lot of knowledge about me and my family. We lived in a normal middle-class neighborhood in Indianapolis and I felt very exposed and nervous all the time in my real life, and eventually the freaked-out feeling just got too big and that’s why I quit tumblr.

(Edited to add: I am aware that prominent people sometimes use death threats against them to portray themselves as victims and protect themselves against justified criticism for their bigotry or abusive behavior or whatever. I don’t want to do that; it’s important to note that I have a lot of resources and power and so was able to, for instance, move to decrease the threat, which a lot of people can’t do. But I also feel like not talking about the experience honestly has not really helped me or anyone.)

I SHOULD’VE quit tumblr much earlier--I needed to realize that people weren’t comfortable with me in their virtual spaces and that to them I came across as cringey or even creepy, but at the time, I wasn’t nearly self-aware enough to leave for any of those reasons, and plus there was a lot of pressure from movie studios etc to stay on the social Internet so I could continue to promote my books and the stuff around them. So I didn’t quit when I should’ve, and as a result had and caused quite a few negative experiences for people. I’m sorry about the role I had in causing those negative experiences. I should’ve had a better understanding of not just how I experienced myself but also how other people might experience me. That’s something i’ve worked on over the years but still come up short on sometimes.

At any rate, I might delete this later because it makes me feel a bit like all my nerves are exposed to the air but I did just want to clarify that the, like, Tumblr Legend of this whole thing is at minimum a bit over simplified. 

[hohuios]

Tag drop: 1/2

[wild-at-mind]

I was going to submit my art for this artist’s alley thing but then I remembered that if they directed anyone to my tumblr it would be 5% mostly untagged art and 95% me ranting on random topics and having emotional breakdowns everywhere. So best not I think.

I’ve considered making an art tumblr before, which might be a good idea to separate from the ramblings, though I am realistic about how much attention it would get. My art tag is ‘art by ae’ but I only started using it recently and there’s barely any of my art on this blog anyway, due to the 0 notes effect. I don’t have all that many finished works anyway due to the instagram effect- uploading frequently is rewarded, putting a lot of effort into a piece of work is implicitely not rewarded because you never see any increase in the number of likes based on how detailed it is or how many hours or days it took, so you get downhearted. I also don’t want to put my real name on here so I can’t link you to my instagram.

It’s all a bit of a fucking mess isn’t it? It seems that in my experience the best thing to do if you want regular if sparce notes on a piece of art is: choose a very obscure property that people enjoy and/or find funny and meme, and do a mediocre fanart of that. Not very good advice but if I had to advise based on my experience, that’s what I’d have to say!

[creamflix]

SHE SAID WHAT?! — gender neutral reader  featuring: nanami kento, choso kamo, toji fushiguro, ryomen sukuna content warnings: established relationship. workplace venting, mentions of murder, pure fluff & crack — masterlist here ☆

"and then, she just took the credit," you huffed, burrowing deeper into kento’s chest as he absently rubbed slow circles on your back. "like, i’m the one who stayed late, again, but suddenly it’s all her idea? unbelievable."

kento hummed softly, his chin resting atop your head. he had been his usual calm and comforting self, letting you unload the stress of the day without interruption.

"and my manager — useless as always," you continued, gesturing dramatically in frustration. "he didn’t even say anything! just nodded along like a bobblehead and let her steal my work. can you believe that?"

"sounds like your manager has no backbone."

you blinked, tilting your head up to look at him. "you’re… not wrong, but — wait, did you just… agree with me?"

he quirked an eyebrow, his lips twitching into the faintest hint of a smirk. "of course. you’re right. your work should be acknowledged properly."

"i mean, yeah, it should," you said, sitting up a little, surprised by his uncharacteristic input. "but — wow, i wasn’t expecting you to actually comment."

"did you think i wasn’t listening?" he asked, and you felt a twinge of guilt at his tone, soft but pointed.

"no, no! it’s just — you don’t usually…" you trailed off, unsure of how to phrase it.

"interject?" he offered, his smirk now more pronounced. "maybe i just decided that this time warranted a response."

you let out a dramatic sigh, dropping back into his chest. "i guess it’s because it’s been driving me crazy, and you’re the only one who actually listens without dismissing me."

his arms tightened around you slightly. "it’s not just listening. i understand your frustration," he said simply.

you tilted your head back to squint at him. "so, what? you’re my emotional support and my husband now?"

"if that's what you need," he replied, deadpan, though the faint gleam in his eyes betrayed his amusement.

"ugh, you’re too perfect sometimes," you grumbled, but you couldn’t help the little smile tugging at your lips.

"hardly," he replied, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. "but if my occasional commentary keeps you sane, i’m happy to oblige."

"you’re gonna spoil me," you teased, poking his side.

"only the way you deserve," he said, his voice low and warm, pulling you back into his embrace.

"and then, jason said he deserved the promotion because he ‘inspires the team,’" you scoffed, leaning against the arm of the couch while choso sat cross-legged on the floor beside you. “which is funny, considering the only thing he inspires is resentment.”

choso nodded, his dark eyes fixed on you intently, and you thought he was just listening — until he reached over, grabbed a little notepad from the coffee table, and scribbled something down.

"wait, are you writing this down?" you asked, staring at him in disbelief.

"yeah," he said matter-of-factly, not even looking up from his notes.

"why?" you asked, genuinely flabbergasted.

"so I don’t forget who’s who," he said simply, his tone as earnest as ever. "your stories have a lot of… moving parts. jason, cody, miya —" he paused, flipping back a page. "and your manager, who doesn’t step in when things get tense?"

your jaw dropped. "you remembered that?"

"of course," he replied, tilting his head like it was obvious. "you tell me these things, so i want to make sure i understand. otherwise, how am i supposed to keep up when you bring it up again?"

you blinked at him, momentarily speechless. "cho, you don’t… have to remember all this. it’s just dumb office stuff."

"it’s not dumb if it’s bothering you," he said simply, setting the notepad down and turning to look at you properly. "besides, it’s… interesting."

"interesting?" you repeated, raising an eyebrow.

he shrugged. "it’s like a soap opera. but real. i don’t understand why humans… argue so much, but it’s kind of fascinating. like, jason thinking he deserves a promotion —" he gestured vaguely, his lips quirking upward slightly. "what did he call himself? inspirational? sounds delusional to me."

you let out a surprised laugh. "you’re not wrong. but you seriously don’t have to do this," you insisted, pointing at the notepad.

"i want to," he said, his voice so gentle and sincere it made your chest ache. "it matters to you, so it matters to me. and if writing it down helps me remember, what’s the harm?"

you stared at him for a long moment before finally sliding off the couch to sit beside him on the floor, wrapping your arms around him. "you’re too sweet, you know that?"

he blinked, his ears faintly pink. "i just… want to be helpful."

"you’re more than helpful," you murmured against his shoulder. "but just so you know, i’m gonna keep roasting jason, and i’m not apologizing for it."

"noted," he said, and you couldn’t help but laugh as he actually reached for the notepad to jot it down.

"and then — ugh, this part kills me — he had the nerve to tell stacy she should 'smile more' during meetings," you said, waving your hands in exasperation. "like, the audacity!"

toji, sprawled out on the couch with an arm behind his head, cocked an eyebrow. "what's his name?"

"what?"

"the guy. what's his name?" he asked, his tone too casual, which you’d learned was a bad sign.

"toji, no," you said immediately, glaring at him.

"what? ’m just askin'."

"no, you’re not. you’re plotting. don’t think i don’t know that look."

he grinned, sharp and easy. "baby, i’m not gonna do anything… serious."

"your definition of 'serious' is murder," you deadpanned.

he shrugged, unabashed. "what can i say? i’m a problem-solver."

"tojiiiiii," you groaned, dragging a hand down your face. "you can’t just go around beating people up because they’re assholes."

"why not? sounds efficient to me," he said, stretching lazily like this was a perfectly reasonable argument.

"because i can’t go back to work and pretend nothing happened when the HR guy’s in the hospital with a broken nose," you shot back.

"you could," he said, smirking. "you’re a good actress when you need to be."

"toji!"

"fine, fine," he said, raising his hands in mock surrender, though the grin never left his face. "but if he does anything else, let me know. i’ll make it look like an accident."

"you’re impossible," you muttered, crossing your arms.

"hey, i’m just lookin' out for my girl. and gotta protect the other ladies as well," he said with a casual shrug, but his tone was surprisingly sincere.

you stared at him for a beat. "you realize being a girl’s girl doesn’t usually involve violence, right?"

"eh," he said, waving it off. "’m an innovator."

"more like a liability," you muttered under your breath, but despite your exasperation, you couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips.

"liability or not," he said, leaning in close, his grin softer now, "you know i’d take care of anyone who messes with you, right?"

you rolled your eyes but leaned into him anyway. "yeah, i know. but maybe… let’s aim for less jail time next time you feel protective, okay?"

he chuckled, pressing a kiss to your temple. "no promises."

"and then she has the nerve to say my presentation lacked creativity, like, excuse me —"

"who is this again?" sukuna interrupts, lounging back against the headboard with his arms crossed.

"jules. i’ve mentioned her a million times — she’s the one who —"

"don’t care," he cuts you off, his tone flat as his crimson eyes flick over to you. "why are you wasting your breath on her?"

"i’m not wasting my breath! i’m venting," you huff, turning to glare at him. "it’s called being in a relationship. you listen to your partner’s frustrations, even if it’s not directly your problem."

he raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. "you’re frustrated over a bug you can squash under your shoe. why bother letting her live rent-free in your head?"

"it’s not that simple! i can’t just… ignore her. i have to work with her," you explain, crossing your arms.

"not for long," sukuna mutters, a smirk tugging at his lips.

you narrow your eyes at him. "what’s that supposed to mean?"

"nothing," he says smoothly, but there’s a dangerous glint in his gaze that makes you suspicious.

"kuna…"

he lets out a dramatic sigh. "look, i don’t see the point in talking about insignificant humans. it’s tedious, and honestly, beneath you. why let them get to you when they’re not even worth a second of your time?"

"because, unfortunately, they’re there," you snap. "not everyone gets to waltz through life on their own terms, terrorizing whoever they want."

"that’s your first mistake," he says smugly.

you open your mouth to retort, but the next day at work, you notice something strange. jules' desk is eerily empty.

"weird," you mutter to yourself. "she didn’t say anything about taking a day off."

the day after that? still empty. the third day? HR sends an email that jules has "stepped down unexpectedly."

you stare at the screen, slack-jawed.

when you confront sukuna later, he’s reclining on the couch like he owns the place (which, let’s be real, he kinda does), looking waayy too pleased with himself.

"you wouldn’t happen to know anything about jules suddenly leaving, would you?"

he smirks, not even bothering to hide it. "told you she wasn’t worth your time."

"sukuna!"

"what? i didn’t lay a finger on her."

"then what did you do?" you demand.

he leans forward, his grin sharp and teasing. "just helped her realize she wasn’t cut out for the job. gave her a little… encouragement to pursue other paths."

you groan, pinching the bridge of your nose. "i can’t believe you. you can’t just go around scaring my coworkers off!"

"worked, didn’t it?" he says, utterly unbothered. "now, can we stop talking about work and focus on something that actually matters?"

"suku —"

"like what’s for dinner," he interrupts, flashing you a toothy grin.

you hate that you’re already planning to let it slide.

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