#lorelei sanders

[nioumin-draw]

Wip on Willori stuff

[megatraven]

IVE NEVER SEEN THIS INTERACTION BEFORE……… I NEVER CLICKED THAT OPTION…….. IM IN TEARS THEY REALLY JUST NAILED ROBINS FAMILY TO A TEE

[youruinedmylifebynotbeingreal]

Villainous Nights deserves better than how Lovestruck is treating it and that’s that on that

[tumblmelovestruck]

[emomanswhore]

it’s okay babe, absolutely no judgment in this whorehouse 😞 🙏🏽

i’ve been seeing everyone acting up n making fics of all typa characters. im sitting here waiting on a upcoming mrs. incredible fic 👁

… now mocha………. don’t tell me you gonna have me creaming and crying over mister sanders now 😟📸🍖🐳

just thought of it is bringing back the feelings i had over that mother’s day kfc commercial from like 2020 😶‍🌫️

ding ding ! mr sanders is getting written and he can willingly split this *redacted bc it’s early* opennnnnnn! that commercial did things to me. every day i stray further away from knowing myself.

[crazycatsiren]

Meet the Witch(?):

*Do Not Reblog*

5 April 2022

Personal

Name: Lorelei Rivers

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: 36

Signs: Aries Sun, Scorpio Moon, Cancer Rising

Where: Germany

Magical Interests

divination

herbalism

crystal magic

spirit work

hearth and home magic

animism and nature magic

folkloric magic

baneful magic

self care magic

Some Of My Favorite Magic Blogs

@witches-ofcolor, @serpentandthreads, @windvexer, @jasper-pagan-witch, @breelandwalker, @lazywitchling, @upthewitchypunx, @traegorn, @will-o-the-witch, @thatautisticbabywitch, @awitchwholikestea, @maleficientthewitch, @thebrownbabywitchisback, @tieras, @itsstillsweetiebythealtar, @themori-witch, @orriculum, @whichwitchami, @cauldron-chatter, @nepherious, @queerxican, @stormwaterwitch, @marisolworksmagic, @iris-collects-magic, @christowitch, @christian-witchy-business, @teawiththegods, @maddiviner, @asinglemagpie, @hexfeathers, @a-witch-named-crow, @morganathewitch, @rue-cimon, @libraford, @yarrowthewitch, @citrinemystic, @theblasianwitch, @hallow-witxh

Fun Facts

I collect crystals, dolls, tarot/oracle/Lenormand decks, and Pusheen.

I am mother to 2 cats, 1 dog, and 1 queen bee.

My spirituality includes at least 4 religions.

I have lived in 4 countries on 3 continents.

I voted for Bernie Sanders and am not afraid to call myself a democratic socialist.

I am a proud user and collector of jazzy mobility aids.

Miscellaneous

Things I Do In My Downtime

I read. A lot.

I work on my German and translate my grandmother's book from Chinese into English.

I watch a lot of documentaries.

I talk with my husband.

I take my doggo for walks.

I spend time with my friends.

Favorite Movies

Moulin Rouge, The Hunger Games, Legally Blonde, Marley & Me, Bohemian Rhapsody, Frozen, Maleficent

Currently Binging

Law & Order: SVU

Y'all feel free to make your own posts following this, this is fun!

Please don't reblog this post.

[claire-de-lune]

🎬📺 Share ten different favorite characters from ten different pieces of media in no particular order 🎮🃏 Then send this to 10 people (anon or not, your choice)

Thanks for the tag 😘

I guess I’ll tag a few people too.

@pa1adin-and-mage @pjo-fan17 @purpleangelsele

@dark-sparkly-lagoon @kl125 @alexandrast17 @thingsarenotgoinhwell 😏😉 @mikewheelerfan2022 @reganx2 @teafiend

1. Brooke Davis

2. El hopper

3. Blair Waldorf

4. Sander driesen

5. Even Bech næsheim

6. Lorelei Gilmore

7. Mia (la la land)

8. Toula Portokalos

9. Hermione granger

10. Elle woods

[thecoffeelovingfreak]

Songs That Remind Me of Sigma

Abbey by Mitski

Lorelei by Cocteau Twins

String Quartet No.5: III by Philip Glass (performed by The Kronos Quartet)

Scherzo-Tarantelle, Op. 16 by Henryk Weiniawski (performed by Joshua Bell and Samuel Sanders)

Lieder ohne Worte, Op. 19: No.2 in A Minor (Andante Espressivo) by Felix Mendelssohn (performed by Daniel Barenboim)

Darkening Of The Light by Concrete Blonde

Le Cygne by Camile Saints-Saëns (performed by Orchestre Symphonique De Québec, Stéphane Tétreault and Fabien Gabel)

Sea, Swallow Me by Cocteau Twins and Harold Budd

[twisted-in-wonderland-jay]

Character Playlists (+ links to created playlists)

Riddle

all the kings horses

Heads will roll

Heal me

Alice

Queen of broken hearts

Ace

marry you

Take me to wonderland

Bad romance

Mad hatter

Greek tragedy by the wombats

Queen of hearts

You’ll be back

Troublemaker by olly Murs

Cater (link)

Ladies night

Dynamite-BTS

Happy pills

The fame

Rain on me

In a world of my own

Stunnin’

Do you wonder

All men are pigs

Trey

Mother knows best

Before I cry

Sway

Welcome to wonderland

Birthday by Katy Perry

Deuce

poker face -blowsight

Shut up and dance (walk the moon)

Fifteen minutes mike

Stitches

Duality by set it off

Fight back by NEFFEX

If I had you (Adam Lambert)

Grenade

Last of the real ones

Maniac

Leona

King again

Alex and Rus

Monster

Come and get it from me

Say my name

Nobody mitski

Roar by Katy Perry

Jack (Link)

Can you feel the love tonight

Teeth

Touch off-uverworld

Alone Pt II

Wild love

The wolf -Siames

Wolves -Sam

Ruggie

He lives in you

No man is an island

Sucker for pain

You’re gonna go far kid

We are young

Sunflower

Eh, Eh

Visionaries by INZO

Heavy Metal lover

One jump ahead

Run wild by laney Jones

Jade

Fly me to the moon

Why did you do that?

Secrets

Queen of white lie

Lucky Strike

Bottom of the deep blue sea (MISSIO)

Floyd

The ballad of Mona Lisa

Looking like this

Hooked (Why don’t we)

Wow (Post Malone)

Cake by the Ocean

Cake by the ocean

Light out MSI

Telephone

Just my type (The Vamps)

Two player game

Bust your knee caps

Teenage dirtbag

Azul

the contract A3!

Black Sea

Who’s laughing now

Money money

Brand new city Mitski

Expensive by Todrick

Jamil

ways to be wicked

Speechless

Genie in a bottle by Oshri

The mighty fall

Wolf in sheep’s clothing

Judas

Speechless lady Gaga

Bad liar

Kalim

sing me to sleep

Sempura narmi

Hot wings

Just dance

Angel (onlyoneof)

Mikrokosmos (BTS)

I like it loud

Good vibes by Nathan Trent

Where did the party go

Vil (Link)

Vil’s took up to much room to I didn’t create a king for each

young and beautiful. Strut by Lenny Kravitz. EMPIRE wengie

Beautiful, dirty, rich. Sour candy. GRRRLS

Flesh. Poison by Groove Coverage. Never enough

Say so. Go hard. One song-Scot sings

Rotten to the core-David Diaz. One kiss. Queen of mean

Applause lady gaga The schuyler sisters

Rook

burn

My songs know what you did

Obsessed by Lexxa

Saccharine by Jazmin Bean

Stalker’s Tango

Sweet Tangerine

Derni’ere Danse

Paparazzi

Epel

makes you beautiful

Boys boys boys

My way by Ava Max

I’m wishing (male version)

Honor to us all

Reflection

Idia

Sweater weather

Color Tokyo

Always remember us this way

1,000 doves

This is Halloween

In my blood (Shawn)

Candle queen

Go the distance

Sex with a ghost by teddy Hyde

Panic room

Love tastes by moe shop

Anxiety

Any Tryhardninja Minecraft song

Prom dress

I’ll try-jesse McCartney

My chance-Satoshi

Ortho

Brother by Kodaline

Is that right?

Shooting stars

Summertime by cinnamonsx

Take on the world

Happier

Devil town

Malleus (Link)

No friends- cadmium

Once upon a time- Lana Del Rey

Anything by sleeping at last

Angel of darkness

Monochrome no kiss

Enchanted by owl city

Million reasons

Stupid love

Horns

Dancing in the dark

Paint it black by Rolling Stones

I hear a symphony by Cody fry

Lilia

you’ll be in my heart-Japanese. Babylon. I’m not a vampire. Stop rewind. My nocturnal serenade (yohio is my fav artist). Immortals. Centuries. Come little children. Little dark Age. Tag you’re it. Thrift shop. Lorelei lord of the lost. VORACITY myth and roid. For the departed Shayfer James Battle cry Shayfer James. Die young. The vampire masquerade peter gundry. Dear fellow traveler Sea wolf. Shadow of the moon Blackmore’s night. Dancer and the moon Blackmore’s night

Silver

4U blackbear

The silent forest KHBBS

Look what I found

Your Guardian Angel

Arabella arctic monkeys

Sing me to sleep

Come as you are

Bitter water

Sebek

I’ll make a man out of you

Sine from above

Soldier, poet, king

Goodnight demon slayer Aurelio voltaire

Things I’ll never say

If I killed someone for you

A sadness runs through him the hoosiers

A thousand years

Akatsuki Arrival the last note

Ama no jaku 164

Karakuri pierrot 40mP

In your eyes

The Dorms

Diasomnia- Lacrimosa

Savanaclaw- stronger

Scarabia- The weekend whip

Pomefiore- cooler then me or Candy store

Ignihyde- Bap- oral cigarettes

Octavinelle- Black Sea

Heartslabyul- In a world of my own

First Year Gang

Greek tragedy by the wombats

Heroes

Back in school by mother mother

All my heroes by naeleck

Friends on the other side (Thomas sanders)

Mad at Disney

[lovestruckvoltage]

Astoria: Fate's Kiss & Astoria: Lost Kisses Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Medusa (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Alex Cyprin (they/them, non-binary, queer) - romanceable Persephone (she/her, pansexual) Charybdis (she/her, pansexual) Chimera Prime (she/her, queer) Scylla (she/her, lesbian) Eryn (she/her, lesbian) Stheno (she/her, bisexual) Euryale (she/her, lesbian) Aphrodite (she/her, Goddess Of Love, queer) Nyela (she/her, bisexual) Eagle Sanders (he/him, bisexual) Ladon (he/him, queer) Robin (they/them, non-binary, questioning) Josh (he/him, aromantic, asexual) Astoria Heroine’s Mom (she/her, bisexual) May Chan (she/her, pansexual) Megara (she/her, bisexual) Arachne (she/her, lesbian) Athena (she/her, aromantic, asexual)

Gangsters in Love Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Aurora James (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Skylar Locke (she/her, bisexual) Amelia Wu (she/her, bisexual)

Castaway! Love's Adventure Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Serena Zhang (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Clyde Hughes (he/him, bisexual) - romanceable Joaquin Ortega (he/him, pansexual) - romanceable Olivia Rossi (she/her, lesbian)

Love & Legends Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Iseul Idreis (he/him, pansexual) - romanceable Altea Bellerose (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Helena Klein (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Sophie Lawrence & Solaire Lightwing (she/her, pansexual) Ryland Goldhart (he/him, bisexual) Imohn Idreis (they/them, non-binary, aromantic, asexual) Ishara Idreis (she/her, pansexual) Witch Queen (she/her, bisexual) Mireille Mercier (she/her, lesbian) Lisette Hallis-Falke (she/her, lesbian) Della Falke (she/her, bisexual) Heloise Falke (she/her, questioning) Caligo Hawkeye (he/him, pansexual) Amelia (she/her, queer)

Speakeasy Tonight Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Sofia Martinez (she/her, bisexual) - romanceable Fryderyka aka Freddie (she/her, lesbian) Evelyn Moy (she/her, lesbian) Elliot Graham (he/him, bisexual)

Starship Promise Jessa Flexand (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Alien Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Nova (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Zhora Leonis (she/her, pansexual) - romanceable Gamma (they/them, queer) Dr.Xendalia (she/her, lesbian) Wyst Pochny (she/her, queer) Kora Thale (she/her, lesbian) Roux Caldera (they/them, queer) Astrid Moon (she/her, queer) Keda Meridian (she/her, queer)

To Love & Protect Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Ellis Cooper (he/him, pansexual) - romanceable Madison Lane (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Cal Egret (she/her, lesbian) Kashvi Dabral (she/her, lesbian)

Havenfall is for Lovers Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Mackenzie Hunt (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Jordan 'JD' Davies (they/them, queer) - romanceable Razi Nassar (he/him, pansexual) - romanceable Vanessa Helsing (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Antonio Vasquez (he/him, bisexual) - romanceable Annabelle Sheppard (she/her, bisexual) Damien Rider (he/him, bisexual) Grace (she/her, bisexual) Gwen Doran (she/her, pansexual) Hikari Hayashi (she/her, pansexual) Mothman (they/them, bigender, queer) Roshni Nassar (she/her, pansexual) Liliane Labasque (she/her, lesbian) Evangelina Vasquez (she/her, trans, heterosexual) Rahim Nassar (he/him, gay) Levana Helsing (she/her, asexual biromantic) John Lapin (he/him, asexual biromantic) Nessie (she/her, pansexual) Baphomet (they/them, queer)

Villainous Nights Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Andi Kim (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Renzei Feng (he/him, pansexual) - romanceable Lorelei Linden (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable [REDACTED] aka Bat ([REDACTED]) Robin (they/them, queer) Miguel Santos (he/him, gay) Scarlet Brighid (she/her, lesbian) Juliette (she/her, pansexual) - romanceable Dahlia London (she/her, bisexual) Ezekiel Dorian (he/him, pansexual)

Sweet Enchantments New Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Nysa Dawnvale (she/her, pansexual) - romanceable Marcel Everbloom (he/him, trans, gay) Thaddeus Moore (he/him, gay) Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Runa Amberthorne (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Zain Blackwood (he/him, bisexual) - romanceable Liora Skyheart (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Emeril Everbloom (she/her, demisexual lesbian) - romanceable Kamila Rosenchild (she/her, bisexual) Zola Knightbrand (she/her, lesbian) Mr. Pondworthy (he/him, gay) Silvain Wintertide (he/him, pansexual) Elyscia Volalin (she/her, asexual biromantic) Axia Bloodsparrow (she/her, pansexual)

Queen of Thieves Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Nikolai Stirling (he/him, demisexual pansexual) -romanceable Vivienne Tang (she/her, lesbian)  -romanceable Remy Chevalier (he/him, bisexual)  -romanceable Zoe Banks (she/her, lesbian)  -romanceable Jett Slater (he/him, bisexual) -romanceable Jace (they/them, queer) Ariana Nassar (she/her, lesbian) Daisa Khoury (she/her, bisexual) Raveena Patel (she/her, demisexual) Clemance Bardot (she/her, bisexual) Claudia Ribeiro (she/her, bisexual) Domino (she/her, lesbian) Inez Serrano (she/her, bisexual) Nadia (she/her, lesbian) Penny (she/her, pansexual) Casimir Vederevsky (he/him, gay) Benoit Dupont (he/him, gay)

Sin With Me Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Wrath (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Onyx Wren (she/her, bisexual) - romanceable Malakai Collins (he/him, demisexual) - romanceable Yvette Holte (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Ripley (she/her, lesbian) Vinca (she/her, lesbian) Nero (he/him, pansexual) Nahara (she/her, bisexual demisexual) Nitsa (she/her, lesbian) Sage (she/her, lesbian) Trudy Goode (she/her, pansexual)

Reigning Passions Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Amara (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Sevastian (he/him, pansexual) - romanceable Lyris (he/him, pansexual) - romanceable Xenia (she/her, bisexual) - romanceable Hazel: (she/her, trans, lesbian) Galen: (they/them, queer) Piama (she/her, pansexual) Edera (she/her, bisexual) Safir (she/her, lesbian) Hortensia (she/her, bisexual) Nisse (she/her, bisexual) Thea (she/her, lesbian) Rosie (she/her, bisexual) Ruelle (she/her, bisexual)

Drawn Together Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Tess (she/her, pansexual)

3 Tattoos Heroine (she/her, bisexual)

Events Pride Month 2017 Emily Verma (she/her, lesbian) Codename Shield (she/her, bisexual)

Halloween 2017 Heroine (she/her, bisexual) Wendy Li (she/her, lesbian)

Ever After Academy MC (she/her, bisexual) MC (he/him, gay) Nora (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Lucas (he/him, gay) - romanceable Arin (they/them, queer) Darla (she/her, lesbian)

Tales of the Wild Della (she/her, bisexual) Revi (she/her, lesbian) - romanceable Maeve (she/her, bisexual)

Wicked Lawless Love MC (she/her, bisexual) Cecelia (she/her, bisexual) - romancable Fiona (she/her, lesbian) Ada (she/her, bisexual)

[nioumin-draw]

Facts about Lorelei Sanders ( HPMA) #1 :

•Lorelei been sorted in Gryffindor house, if she were in ilvermony she would be sorted to Wampus or Thunderbird

•she live to Nothing hill with her family

•When she spent her summer vacation to Uganda her family for visit her mother's family side , the thing she loves most is doing Safari.

• she used to have some muggle "friends" before Hogwarts , after she go to Hogwarts she told them she been accepted to a boarding school. She tried to sent them some letters but they never write her back but she haven't been upset because she knew it will happen and she have new true friends now.

•her patronus is a lioness

•the most happiest memory she remember for creat her patronus is : when she met the Holyhead Harpies atvher first quidditch game.

• Robyn Thistlethwaite became her best friends during Hogwarts because of their love for quidditch and she also have a bond for Daniel Page and consider him as a precious friend, she is always worry about him and protect him if it's necessary.

•At first the first sight she found William Lee too immature and is annoyed by him and his shenanigans but appreciates his kindness towards animals and his optimistic and funny personality and you'll never find a better dance partner than him , people wondering how that could work between them XD 🤣.

•During the 3 first year she had long curly hairs and cut them for year 4

• her cat , Comoros ( Named from a African région) is a present from her parents for her first year to Hogwarts.

•She realize she fell in love with William Lee at the end of year 2 and in year 4 the became officially a couple.

• she can't stand Cassandra Vole but is always ready to help her.

•Fischer Frey have a crush for her but she rejected him all time.

• according to William Lee , she smell Vanilla and coconut, probably because of hair care cream.

• Because of a misunderstanding with William she was a bit jealous of Abigail Grey ( who had a crush on him ) but after a explanation they become great friends

• She play quidditch as chaser with Liam Whitlock-Kim @chirithy564 at year 2 and became seeker at year 4

•William and her first date was supposed to be in Madam Puddifoot's Tea Shop in Hogsmeade but it finally end to The three broomsticks because it was to Pink for them XD and a butterbeer sound better than tea 🍻.

•she a big fan of the Holyhead Harpies.

•she is inspired from the actress and Singer Zendaya.

• she is very proud of her father despite the fact he is a squib and would punch anybody who say trash about him.

• She is Aries 🐏♈

• her favorite flowers are begonias , tulip 🌷 and flowering plant.

[pond-porridge]

Okay so brief explanation on how we sorted this:

Fictives have been sorted by various sources, other alters have been sorted by what worlds they come from if any (some alters here have past memories like fictives, but no source, some from the same world/area even! Worlds 1-4 because we arent good at naming them), and a miscellaneous category (untitled).

• • • • • •

Lemon/Percy

Lui

R

Nyx

Venus

Vennia

Kix

Ghost

Ave

Citrus

Storm

Nova

BB/"Blond Boy"

Ryuu

Alex

Atlas

Vix

Oliver

"Arms"

Pixie

Lilith

• • • • • •

WORLDS

1

Cyrus Ledger

Cass Ledger

Dimirti

Iris

Koru

Rouge

2

Cherry O.

Blackberry O.

Rose O.

Echo

Thorn

Asher Jones

Russel Casmire Jones

3

Azriel

Archer

Tensanai

4

Elias

Calamity

Finn

• • • • • •

FICTIVES

Heartless

Dopple Glass

Glass

Eira Hale

Flint Solvieg

Alchemy Valentine

Lance Lothaire

Bandy Bellamis

Heartless

River Dial

Alastor Creed

Dock

Lorelei

Diana Shikari

Arthyr

Epithet Erased

Sylvester Ashling

Molly Blyndeff

Ramsey Murdoch

Zora Salazar

Percival King

Mera Salamin

Giovanni Potage

The Arcana

Julian Devorak

Portia Devorak

Sanders Sides AU (NOT original Sanders Sides)

Logan

Patton

Virgil

Roman

Remus

Janus

Pinshu

Remy

Raya/Riot/Ray

Encanto

Camilo Madrigal

Isabella Madrigal

The Owl House

Hunter

Amity Blight

Emira Blight

Edric Blight

Alador Blight

Luz Noceda

Raine Whispers

Willow Park

Eda Clawthorne

Darius

Matholomule

Augustus Porter

Stranger Things

Robin Buckley

Steve Harrington

Eddie Munson

Nancy Wheeler

Max Mayfield

Johnathan Byers

Will Byers

Dustin Henderson

Other (Only one from their source/not completely a fictive)

Juno

Begal

Vee

• • • • • •

[megatraven]

CHIMERA AND HIS FUCKING CONSTRUCTION BUDDIES I—

[lovelylogans]

Gilmore girls

Boston marriage -https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/53106. - a Rory x Paris fic, very cute. Complete with rambling from both parties. First fic of the day that wasn't Analogical today.

Whither - https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/53105#bookmark-form - another Rory x Paris fic but this is Paris making Luke help her realize she loves Rory so there's that. Lorelei makes a cameo Rory is only talked about but they admit she's lost herself and Isn't perfect.

Sanders sides 

(If you haven't)Love and other fairy tales extended universe by tulips come in all sorts of colors- main story line is complete with one shots that update often enough and the extra oneshots are over a hundred right now. Main story line gets angsty but most of the extended verse is super fluffy! Far! Virgil and Logan!!

(If you haven't)MPD universe also by tulip- all fluff! Complete with Hobbit Patton, cool slang terms, and a couple cool fic tropes! Coffee shop trope with a little twist for analogical. Flower shop and tattoo shop for Demus. And totality is also adorable. Modern magic!

( If you haven't)Lovely dark and deep by teacup full of starshine- mer! Logan!!! Eldritch horor Patton! A wip but we'll written! Thomas is awesome and Virgil is as usual, a disaster gay! Protective Roman and Patton.

Federal bearue of useless gays also by teacup full of starshine

A day in your shoes - https://archiveofourown.org/works/17073515 - a Mario au with prinxiety and logicality and brother! Analogical. We have Mario Bros Analogical which is pretty cool. It's part of a collection which is cool!

Percy Jackson 

Percy and the ghost king of Summer's high -https://archiveofourown.org/works/4755908/chapters/10873373 - it has a few decidedly NSFW scenes but there's only two, maybe three. It's kinda an A/B/O fic BUT well written and use to further the story. Complete with cat boy mermaid Percy and vampire Nico. A very long fic at 50 chapters.

lovelylogans said: oh, WOW, quite a list!!! thank you so much!!!

[tellusepisode]

She’s Out of My League (2010)

Comedy, Romance

An airport security guard gets involved with a girl who’s very obviously of a higher caliber than himself, and schemes to make the relationship last as his friends and family watch along in disbelief. Kirk (Baruchel) was languishing in a dead-end job as an airport security agent when he somehow managed to earn the affections of the successful and drop-dead gorgeous Molly (Eve).

Even Kirk isn’t exactly sure what Molly sees in him, though he’s willing to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work. With his friends, family, and ex-girlfriend all watching stunned from the sidelines, Kirk discovers that he’ll have to work overtime in order to convince Molly that he’s worth hanging on to.

Director: Jim Field Smith

Writers: Sean Anders, John Morris

Stars: Jay Baruchel, Alice Eve, T.J. Miller, Mike Vogel, Nate Torrence, Lindsay Sloane, Kyle Bornheimer

►Cast:

Jay Baruchel→KirkAlice Eve→MollyT.J. Miller→StainerMike Vogel→JackNate Torrence→DevonLindsay Sloane→MarnieKyle Bornheimer→DylanJessica St. Clair→DebbieKrysten Ritter→PattyDebra Jo Rupp→Mrs. KettnerAdam LeFevre→Mr. KettnerKim Shaw→KatieJasika Nicole→WendyGeoff Stults→CamHayes MacArthur→RonAndrew Daly→Mr. FullerSharon Maughan→Mrs. McCleishTrevor Eve→Mr. McCleishAdam Tomei→RandyRobin Shorr→Tina JordanPatrick Jordan→BowlerTom Stoviak→Museum DirectorRick Applegate→“Plane Doctor”Heather Leigh→Flight AttendantChuck Aber→PilotJason McCune→Restaurant PatronYan Xi→KarenEvan Alex Cole→Scotty Reese (as Alex Cole)Joe Eberle→Hockey BartenderPhil Spano→Hockey CoordinatorJeff Adams→Hockey PlayerMila Cermak→Hockey PlayerMike Gaffney→Hockey PlayerTodd Gally→Hockey PlayerJim Gricar→Hockey PlayerRob Hofmann→Hockey PlayerJason C. Lewis→Hockey Player (as Jason Lewis)Ed Nusser→Hockey PlayerJory Rand→Hockey PlayerTom Rieck→Hockey PlayerMatthew Richert→Hockey Player (as Matt Richert)Joe Sager→Hockey PlayerLucia M. Aguirre→Flight AttendantElyse Alberts→Airline PassengerTony Amen→Airport PassengerNicholas Balzer→Airline PilotJoiel Bauschatz→Airline Ticket Agent / PedestrianRobert R. Bell→Airshow PatronAaron Bernard→First Class PassengerMinda Briley→Airport PassengerDavid Collihan→Airline Co-pilotSidney Crosby→SelfShawn Dando→ExtraJack Davis→Airport PatronRenee Downing→Birthday Party GuestMandy Ekman→StewardessJonathan Eldell→TravelerJackie Evancho→ExtraLamar Darnell Fields→Airport TravelerJim Fitzgerald→Pilot / Airline PassengerVal Gasior→Flight AttendantJosiah Hoffman→Pilot SmithKevin M. Jacobs→Market Square PatronCrystalann Jones→Bar PatronJeffrey Jones→Airport AdmirerWilliam Kania→Pittsburgh Penguins Hockey FanJon Knapp→Ex BoyfriendMichael Kolence→Party GuestJim Kuhn→Airline PassengerAlexis Kupka→SelfEric Leach→ExtraAlan Lee→TSA ArtStephanie Macdougall→Airport PassengerLorelei Mahoney→PassengerLaurie Mann→Hockey Crowd ExtraBuster Maxxwell→Flower sellerSean P. McCarthy→Airport TravelerLeslie McGuier→Airline ExtraTiffany Sander McKenzie→Airline PassengerChristopher Mele→Airport patronIan Michael→Restaurant GoerJeremy Moon→Airshow WorkerSusan Moran→Airline PassengerChristopher Nardizzi→Hockey FanPhil Nardozzi→Airline PassengerJillian O’Neil→Woman with SweaterDawn Renee→Flight AttendantPaul J. Rosenburg→BowlerDavid Santiago→Club PatronGaynelle W. Sloman→Party Guest / Driver on BridgeRay Sobieralski→PilotBrian E. Stead→WaiterRobert Stull→First Class PassengerJillian Vitko→Party GuestBlase Ward→Airport PatronJames Werley→Airport Person

Sources: imdb

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[cecilspeaks]

142 - Ufo Sighting Reports

As abpve, so below. As for the middle, Well, who knows.

Welcome to Night Vale.

We start today, as we often do, with the latest UFO sighting reports in the community.

Friday, 5:20 AM. The staff of the Desert Spring Tuberculosis Research center and Medication Retreat reported a luminous object out over the neighborhood across the highway. The object resembled a straw hat and had an apparent speed of 150 miles per hour, and apparent altitude of 2,000 feet. The staff recalled that the object illuminated the ground brightly, as they could see Leah Shapiro at the window of her house, receiving a phone call and then collapsing to her living room floor with a hand over her mouth. This was perfectly visible despite the sun not having yet risen.

Friday, 5:28 AM. Leann Hart, editor of the Night Vale Daily Journal, was preparing for a day of hard-hitting journalism. She does this using a dummy that she has set up in the back yard and labeled with a sign saying “Pivot to video”. She was just about to launch into her usual routine of hacking at this dummy for two and a half hours with a pair of hatchets made from pure silver, while screaming in fury, when she was stopped by a sight in the sky. An object the size and shape of a bus, and also having all other characteristic of a bus, was soaring over her. It flew at an apparent altitude of 500 feet, making no sound at all, and Leann tracked it for several minutes before losing sight of it. She said that she reacted like anyone would: by flinging a hatchet at it and shouting: “You’re not welcome here.”

Friday, 5:34 AM. My niece Janice was up early, because it was finally time to take the pre-SAT, and she didn’t want to feel hurried. She had been with herself long enough to know that feeling hurried kills any sense of momentum or order for the rest of the day, and makes her feel like she’s trying and failing to catch up with herself. Better to force herself out of bed into the cold of a winter desert morning than to feel behind herself later on. She had gone out into the front yard to get a bit of fresh air, and had waved to Leah Shapiro who was rushing out of her house and did not seem to notice the greeting, when Janice saw the craft. A red ellipsoidal object rose from behind the line of houses. At first, Janice thought it might just be a particularly quick sunrise, but soon realized the object was only the size of a small table and was right above her. Remembering what Tamika had taught her during team militia camp, Janice grabbed a heavy stone from the yard, but the object was already withdrawing. Janice yelled to ask if Leah had seen it too, but Leah was driving away. So Janice went back inside and made herself a smoothie. She feels she did pretty good on the pre-SAT.

Friday, 5:41 AM. Dana Cardinal, no longer mayor, who carries with her what she has done, but now also carries the possibility of what she could do next, was driving around the city. She does this sometimes, an aimless circle of a town that once had been her responsibility, but now is not and never will be again. The town wihout a mayor. This is a problem, but it is not her problem. She had just been passed by Leah Shapiro, who was going some 20 miles over the speed limit, when Dana spotted three sparkling objects in an equilateral formation, approximately 20 feet from each other at an apparent altitude of 100 feet. She shrugged and turned back to her aimless driving. This was no longer her problem.

Friday, 5:53 AM. Sarah Sultan, who is the president of the Night Vale Community College and also a smooth, fist-sized river rock, was driving to work. She had to get in early because of an all-department meeting to address the lingering effects of the rabbit infestation the college suffered five years ago. And she was still fuming from yesterday when the DMV had threatened to take away her license on the ground that no one understood how a smooth, fist-sized river rock was even capable of operating a car. She had had to take the driving test all over again, and while she got a perfect score and retained her license, that had been time robbed from her that she would never get back. Leah Shapiro, ahead of her in the lane, slowed down to turn into the Night Vale Community Hospital parking lot, and Sarah swerved around her, unwilling to wait for the turn to complete. As she did that, she saw a spherical body in the sky at an elevation of about 1,000 feet. It was a dozen centimeters across in apparent size and whirled around in a small circle of 30 feet in apparent diameter before rising up into the clouds.

Friday, 8:09 AM. Nilanjana Sikdar stood just outside of the hospital. She was there for a minor procedure, but it didn’t feel minor to her. She didn’t like hospitals, didn’t like the implications of what might happen there, didn’t like the doctors that appear and disappear randomly from room to room, and didn’t like thinking about all that can misfire and misalign in her own body. She sighed, looked up at the building, and saw through the window Leah Shapiro with tears rolling down her face. She was holding the hand of someone in a hospital bed, and she was telling the patient a story, it seemed. Perhaps reminiscing about some shared event from much earlier in both of their lives. More importantly, Nilanjana saw two flying objects in the reflection of the glass. She turned to see them fly west by north to north by east, radiant blue in the center and red around the edges. Then, knowing that not even UFOs could save her from necessary medical treatment, she turned to the building and trudged inside.

Friday, 11:15 AM. High school senior Josh Crayton was in the Ralphs parking lot showing off to his friends by turning himself into any tree they named. “Oak,” they shouted and he was an oak. “Spruce,” another shouted. “Too easy,” he told them. “Reginald,” one said and Josh took the form of Reginald from the nearby Whispering Forest. When he was in that tree form, he could see all the way over the roof of the Ralphs, and he saw a luminous flying object that’s upper half was covered in a curling mist or smoke. It was 40 degrees in elevation above the horizon and approximately the brightness of a new moon on a cloudless night. “Whoa,” said Josh. “Man,” said one of his friends. “It’s so weird to see a tree talk like that.”

Friday, 12:02 PM. Lorelei Alvarez had been called into work. It was never good news when she was called into work. No one ever rang her phone and said, “Hello, is this Lorelei Alvarez, Night Vale coroner? We’re super happy to need your help!” No. It is always the same hushed tones and hushed pain, tight and business like. She was thinking all of this as she had her coffee and steeled herself for what she would have to go do, when she saw an object in the midday sky. It left a multicolored trail as it moved, going to the west slowly and finally disappearing. “That doesn’t help me at all,” she said and poured the rest of her coffee down the sink.

Friday, 12:10 PM. Tamika Flynn was on her way to the hospital to check in on 14-year-old Gerald Sanders who had been injured at teen militia camp while practicing evasive maneuvers, which is what they call dodgeball. He had badly twisted his ankle and even though Tamika knew it wasn’t her fault, she felt guilt all the same, and then felt guilt over her guilt, as she knew she should not feel guilt over things that were not her fault. As she entered the hospital, she looked across the lot back where Leah Shapiro was standing, tears covering her face. Leah was standing at the parking payment machine, her lips moving soundlessly, her eyes staring blankly at the screen in front of her, and her hands frozen at her side. More importantly, behind Leah, a silver star shining conspicuously in the day-lit sky, moving from east to west, passing in and out of clouds, and changing altitude constantly.

Friday, 1:20 PM. Deb, the sentient patch of haze, was on her way out of a meeting with her representation. She was unhappy with the advertising gjobs they had been securing for her, finding that nothing they were sending her out on caused enough harm to humanity. “Get me out there selling the really toxic and dangerous stuff, something with side effects or at least some carcinogens,” she told them as she pounded the table with her fists and stormed out. An action that was difficult due to her ethereal and fistless nature. As she left, she saw a cylindrical UFO, a greenish bronze with a three to one ratio of length to thickness. “Oh buzz off, buster,” she told it.

Friday, 2:27 PM. Amber Akinye was taking a break from her job at the Diego and Diego and Diego and Diego and Diego funeral home. The one that was opened recently on Araburus Road by those very nice quintuplets. Amber was exhausted after talking Leah Shapiro through all the options. The funeral would happen in just two days, and there was so much to do and to decide. Amber thought that Leah was holding on pretty well, but still, it was a lot for both of them. Maybe Amber was too empathetic to work a job like this. She hated to think of empathy as weakness, but she only had so much energy to give. As she was thinking this, she saw a golden colored oblong at a high altitude in the sky above, moving at a steady speed in a five-degree upward climb. “I just got this job,” Amber thought, “I should give it more. I’ll give it more time.”

Fridya, 5:15 PM. Lieutenant Regis of Unit 7 of the Local National Guard Station and KFC Combo Store was standing guard as usual, and witnessed an (anchor) shaped ring of light to the southwest, and at apparent altitude of 200 feet. He waved. “Enjoy the weekend!” he shouted. “See ya on Monday!”

Friday, 8:09 PM. Janice Rio from down the street was having dinner at the Moonlite All-Nite Diner. She had ordered a Greek salad with chicken on it and was feeling comfortably superior to Leah Shapiro in the next booth over, who was on her second plate of fries. As she sat with this great sense of self, Janice glanced outside and saw a yellow ball of light with a diameter of more than 20 inches hanging in the sky. It hung silently for two minutes and then disappeared. “Good riddance,” Janice muttered and returned to her salad.

We pause briefly from our UFO sighting reports to take in something far stranger: The weather report.

[“Color TV” by Answering Machine, https://answeringmachine.bandcamp.com/]

Saturday, 12:01 AM. Leah Shapiro parked in front of her house, but she didn’t find the will to go in. What was there for her but the echo of a daily routine that would see no more days? So instead she drove out to the scrublands. It was chilly, but that felt good to her. It felt like she had been uncomfortably warm for a long while, and this was the first time that the temperature had been right. (-) bit at her ankles, she didn’t have the right shoes for this kind of walk, but here she was, walking. The night was completely clear. The moon was a careful situation. As she walked, Leah tried her best to sort through her feelings. It was obvious to her which feeling she should have in this moment. Mourning, a wild grief, a sadness that would never be cured by however many decades of slow forgetting she had left. This was what others had assumed she was feeling and so those were the emotions they managed. “This must be quite difficult,” the doctor had said professionally. “I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure you loved her very much,” the woman at the funeral home had said empathetically. “Oh my god, you poor thing, you must be bereft!” said Laura at the Moonlite All-Nite Diner with a deep sincerity, and then she had taken Leah’s order of us many French fries as can fit on a plate. Laura had brought two plates.

But the truth is that Leah did not feel mourning, grief, or sadness. She supposed that those feelings would not come, she hoped they did, because she didn’t know what it would mean for herself if they did not. However, emotions are not domestic creatures that can be summoned with a whistle. They are wild and they move as they please. So try as she might to access her sadness, Leah couldn’t. What she could find, to her horror and shame, was relief. She felt so relieved, and she felt free. She felt absolutely free and completely relieved, and she felt that she must be the worst person in the world for feeling those things. “What is wrong with me?” she said, and nothing that heard her answered except a lone coyote, who started and fled to a warm groove in the earth, where he felt safe from predators. There was nothing wrong with Leah. She was free, and she felt relieved. Later she would feel sadness, sadness that’s vast shape would hardly be conveyed by such a simple word, but not now. Now she walked until she couldn’t see her car, until the lights of Night Vale disappeared behind the hill, until it seemed possible that no other person lived on the Earth. As she stood there, a silver craft descended from the sky. It rotated above her, brilliant, multicolored lights coming from windows on all sides. She watched it hover, and then watched as it rose back up into the sky, until it was indistinguishable from all the other wandering stars. “Huh,” she said, and began the long walk back to her car.

This has been UFO sighting reports.

Good night, Night Vale, Good night.

Today’s proverb: In Europe, instead of cell phone, they say mobile. Instead of arugula, they say rocket. Instead of letting you die because of lack of health insurance, they take care of you when you’re sick. It’s a weird place.