#lord save me I need to lock in. less then 10 days left of art fight

[battleslippers]

sanemi as a demon to brute force my way out of art block

[phoenotopia]

2020 July Update

Things have gone slowly... again.

The good news is that the game is now submitted to the console "authority" and it's entirely off my hands. Once it gets through the console "checking" process, it can get a release date and we can sprint towards release. Until then, it'd be at least a month's wait or more until I hear anything. Understandably, their checking process is impacted by Corona, so wait times are increased.

On my end, I was also slow to submit the game. I submitted it late late June, since I ended up spending 7 weeks fixing bugs (and not 2-3 weeks like I estimated in the last blog post). There were just SO many bugs - now squished, thankfully. Since this is a blog post, I'll talk about what kind of bugs I've been fixing.

The other thing that slowed down the submission process was simply due to unfamiliarity with how these submissions proceed. There were pages and pages of stuff to read, guidelines to follow, and legalese to wade through. It really made me wish I had a publisher to guide me through the process. But I was able to clear it with a couple days work. I had an impression that the submission process went like A->B->C->D, with no room for concurrency. Turns out I could have done steps B & C at the same time and sped things up by 2 weeks... So that's that. I'm taking that as a lesson for next time.

The Console Revealed

What is this console that I talk about so stealthily? So that this blog update isn't completely unexciting, I'll reveal which console I've been working on until now. Drumroll please!

It's Switch!

We actually got the Switch dev kit in late 2017. From my understanding, around this time in the USA, the Switch kit was quite hard to get for indies as it was just starting out and high in demand. So I was surprised that my application got approved. I didn't know it then, but the game would still need a few more years of development...

Tweaking performance and fixing bugs

Here you can see my "expert" playtest setup. Since the Switch is more powerful while docked, I needed to playtest it in handheld mode, so I could catch and profile any problem areas where the framerate was unsteady. The most common thing that caused framerate drops were areas that went overboard with lighting. For these areas, I'd tweak or swap out the lights with alternatives that looked similar while also being less computationally intensive. Maintaining 60 FPS is a must!

An old camera (Nikon D3100) trained at the screen recorded my playthrough and would let me rewind to any moment a bug occurred. It could only record in 10 minute chunks, so I'd have to repeatedly repress the record button. On the plus side, because it's so old the movie file sizes were small and convenient.

The number one bug that I tracked and fixed in the past two months was what I dub the "Gear Ring De-equip" bug. The Gear Ring functions as customizable shortcut keys for the player to map items and tools (see an old video demonstration HERE). Through regular use of the inventory, somehow the equipped items on the Gear Ring would be de-equipped. It was an elusive bug since the de-equip event would happen very quietly and you would only suspect something had gone wrong much later. By then, the trail had gone cold and you weren't sure if a de-equip had actually occurred or if the player had simply de-equipped the item themselves. Two other playtesters noted that something left the Gear Ring in their playthrough, but I dismissed them. "Are you sure you didn't just de-equip it yourself?" It was a bug that bred mistrust and discord. I didn't truly believe it until it happened to me...

Luckily, with the camera setup, I was finally able to track it. In the literal 67th video, I caught a live instance of the bug occurring. After which, it was all too easy to recreate the exact same inventory and gear ring setup and replicate it.

(With this exact item layout, combine the 2nd item with the 14th item... and viola! Gear Ring de-equip!)

After fixing this bug, I then proceeded to fix it 5 more times. Every time I fixed it, it would later reappear through a different mechanism. 

Why do bugs like this happen? Underneath, there are two lists of items. Tools on the right and items on the left. Items can occur multiple times because they're consumable. Both lists start counting their indexes with the value 0. However, both items and tools co-exist on the gear ring. So to uniquely identify an entry you need both the item ID and the data index. Failure to check both data types resulted in bugs like the Gear Ring de-equip. Now throw in a bunch of item operations that can confuse the system. You can split items, combine items, swap items, or discard items. The more freedom you allow, the more ways there are for the system to trip up.

If you didn't get all that, that's alright. It was needlessly complicated. Imagine doing more and better and with less code and less bugs! Such a thing is possible if you start with the right design. I'm definitely taking notes here on how to design inventory systems for next time. In the meanwhile, I'm very confident I've squished all inventory related bugs.

Other bugs squashed and features implemented in the past 2 months include the end game arts not unlocking properly, collection percentages climbing beyond 100, stray doors floating in the sky, low HP sfx blaring when loading different files, balance tweaks on bosses, a max HP display when the menu is open - too many to count really! It was only after I fixed them all that I was confident enough to move forward with submitting the game. I apologize for the delay this will cause!

PC version back in progress

You may recall in the March 2020 update I talk about how in pursuing the Switch version, I unwittingly ruined the PC version. Well, since the game is "done" now and I'm waiting for it to go through the checking process, I've started working to reclaim the PC version.

And there is some good news to report. The PC version can compile again! Of course, it will need to have some work done, since it was late 2017 when I last had a functioning PC build. 

The opening menu is broken, the underlying save file system needs to be updated, and the controls... oh Lord, the controls. Controls were probably the #1 factor in pushing me to pursue a console version first. There are just so many controller options. Even just the usual suspects are numerous: Xbox, Nintendo, Sony, Logitech, Hori, 8Bitdo, Steam...

One of the number one complaints received regarding the flash game (which was keyboard primarily) was that I didn't allow controller rebinding to start. It was then that I learned of the vast array of different keyboard types.

(Ever heard of an Azerty keyboard?)

I shan't make the same mistake twice! One of the things I'll definitely tackle is the Right/Left face button feud when it comes to which should one should be 'confirm' and which one is 'cancel'. I want to allow the player to choose which is their "YES" and "NO" preference and allow that to overlap other actions like Attack or Jump.

Even after control bindings are taken care of, some things just won't translate well. The right control stick is currently used to access the gear ring and for fishing. Keyboards have no right stick. Aiming the crossbow with a full 360 degrees of range is done with the left control stick - if keyboard only, would the crossbow simply be locked to the 8 cardinal directions? What about those tutorial prompts with button graphics (e.g. "Press 'B' to Jump"). If using the playstation controller, it'd need to be the CROSS symbol. How many button graphics are we gonna load into the text module? What if the player, mid-playthrough, decides to swap out controllers? Indeed, there are many issues to tackle where controls are concerned...

Perhaps I'm overthinking it because even some AAA games get this wrong (Dark Souls has 'B' as 'Yes' on Switch, and it's not remappable, which I find quite annoying). I've seen games on consoles where the controls wouldn't mention the console's controller at all but instead mention a mouse and keyboard. Or, if you remapped the controls, the tutorial prompts still showed the old control bindings, making for a confusing experience. I definitely want to do the controls justice, so this will take some time.

Phoenotopia DISCORD Channels

Ryan and Firana have been running a Phoenotopia discord since late 2017, which I promoted on this blog once. It's been a couple years and it turns out that the old discord link I promoted expired. It's long overdue, but their channel could use another shoutout. Here's their channel : https://discord.gg/cnjrYST

Also, Khalid recently reached out to me about creating a Phoenotopia discord as well. I see no reason why we can't have 2 or more discords, so he has created that one with my blessing as well. You can find his discord here : https://discord.gg/cfnsCwy

I personally don't use Discords, since I'm very busy and there's too much new tech to keep up with. I hear there's a Tik Tok now? Should I create a Tik Tok for Phoenotopia? Hmmm...

Anyway, if you'd like to chat with other people who are similarly enthused for Phoenotopia, do check them out!

Fan Arts

We have five new fanart submissions this time around from regulars and new alike.

Cody G. returns with this pair of sketches of Gail. One seeks to answer the question, "how is Gail so strong?" Cody's answer is that under her sleeves she's actually really buff! This might be the most ripped rendition of Gail yet. Also, in the right drawing, the letter 'E' kinda melds with her bat, making it look like a keyblade!

What if Gale was a Shrek character? A new artist, Samu Kajin, from tumblr answers that question with a rendition of Gail sporting ogre style antennae. Samu Kajin says she can be called "Gaek" or "Shrale". I like the poncho!

Shafiyahh returns with a pretty portrait of Gail. Unlike their previous digital pieces, this one was made with color pencils! I like how her hair blends pink and purple colors together, and this pattern is also present in the eyes. Reminds me of a certain character. And the eyes are so sparkly despite using color pencils! Major props!

Negativus Core also returns with this relevant image of Gail, masked and running, presumably from Corona. It gave me quite a chuckle! I like the angle and tilt of this run pose because you can see the sole of her foot - that's how you know she's at full sprint! A skillful blur localized to her left foot show's just the right amount of motion. Gotta love the robot's expression too!

A rare 3D art has emerged. Dany Q crafted this adorable figure of Gail that is as cute as a button! I like how well it translates the pixel character over to 3D, capturing the 3 stitches on her shirt and even catching her stray strand of hair. It kinda reminds me of a Wallace and Gromit character, so I can picture it moving and animating in that unique claymation style.

Next Time

I'm ~80% confident we can clear the Switch console checking process and drop the trailer with a release date before the next blog post. But once again, if things go slowly, you'll hear from us in 2 months...

[gaslightgallows]

First lines meme thingie

I got tagged by @teadrinkingwolfgirl! 

Rules: Post the first lines of your last ten fics read or written and then tag others to do the same.

I haven’t read anyone else’s fics in ages (mea culpa) so I’m really doing this to remind myself of what WIPs I’m supposed to be working on. XD

Tagging! @firesign23, @rivendellrose, @cigaretteburnslikefairylights, @pendragyn, @kiwimeringue, @timetravelbypen and anyone else who’d like to play!

The Patience of Angels (Good Omens)

“Right,” shouted Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies and Prince of the First Circle of Hell, “shut up, you lot!”

The rabble quieted down, but not without trouble – Hastur had to set a few unruly demons on fire before Beelzebub could finally make themself heard without screaming. They settled into the chair at the head of the long, long table, with Hastur at one elbow and Dagon at the other, and surveyed the assembled with resigned disgust (which was the most neutral emotion Beelzebub could summon).

Every demon with any scrap of authority was there, every prince and duke and a bunch of other ranks besides, by Satan's own order. Except for Satan himself, of course. He hadn’t been to a board meeting in a year, which wasn’t like him – he usually at least came to the once-a-year all-staff meetings. But the boss was still sulking and licking his wounds after that business in Tadfield. Beelzebub supposed he had the right to sulk; after all, six thousand years of planning had been flushed straight down the toilet, all because of one disobedient brat.

There was something marvelously poetic in that, somewhere, but Lord Beelzebub did not possess a poet’s soul. (Though they had possessed a few poets, over the centuries, but they hadn’t picked up much in the way of insight.)

Sideways (MCU, Stoki)

Loki was not expecting to see Captain Rogers again – vastly preferred not to see him again, in fact, along with the rest of the Avengers – and when he did, the first thing he thought was that wasn’t sure about the new beard.

Thankfully, Captain Rogers couldn’t see him, so he didn’t have to concern himself with the captain’s feelings on the matter.

In theory, the less Loki had to see or hear or be aware of Earth, the better. In practice, he'd learned enough about humans to realize that it was at least prudent to keep tabs on Midgard and its infuriatingly stubborn inhabitants. Unlike Odin (not quite late, not quite lamented, safely and comfortably sequestered away in the most inconvenient corner of the palace dungeons), Loki did not have the ability to see and hear all things within the Nine Realms, so he’d had to take the Gatekeeper into his confidence.

Heimdall was... he wasn’t entirely sure what Heimdall’s opinion on the matter of Loki pretending to be Odin was. He recalled the first time he took the throne—

‘Took.’ It was given to me, justly, by Asgard’s own laws of succession and by order of... the queen.

—when Heimdall obeyed his commands up until the moment Loki relieved him of his duties. He knew better than to make the same mistake twice; Heimdall had guarded the Bifrost for longer than Loki had been alive, and he’d learned a thing or two about the watcher’s loyalties. With the true king alive but incapacitated and Thor having abjured the title, who was there left to be king, save Loki?

And it clearly didn’t matter to Heimdall that Loki was technically supposed to be dead.

Upon the Mountains, Like a Flame: Chapter 10 (MCU)

"Are you truly going to prevent Loki from using his magic to defend himself?"

"I have said that I will. It is the only possible way of ensuring a fair fight, especially if Loki and Sigyn are to face Theoric together. Unless you wish to make it that easy for Loki to defeat him. His power has grown--"

"No," said Frigga, "he hasn't." She sounded tired. "He had help. From whom or who, I know not, but I do know the scope of our son's power."

Odin stopped his disgruntled pacing and turned to face her, and suddenly Frigga felt very cold. "Are you certain? We have never been entirely sure what manner of power to expect from one of his... lineage."

"If Loki had learned by nature how to shield his appearance and his identity from us both, he would have used it – and crowed about it – long before now. As it is, he can transform himself into any number of animals in order to bedevil his brother, but we always know it is him. And before you ask again," she continued, "no, Sigyn did not help him. This manner of magic does not belong to her."

Odin conceded that point, at least. "Sigyn's preference would have been to slip away from Asgard between dawn and morning and never look back. And you would not have been able to find her, I think, any more than I would have. And yet... she stayed."

"For Loki."

"For love of him," Odin sighed, feeling old, as he had when Loki had pleaded for Sigyn's hand in marriage. "They make a frightening pair, those two.

The Art of Weaving (Sequel to “The Art of Spinning”) (MCU)

“He lacks compassion.”

“Lacks...” Thor stopped dead in his tracks. “Father, he spent a month caring for Mother and wouldn’t leave her side even when I wanted him to come to Svartalfheim with me. He helped me free Jane from the Aether and find a way to defeat Malekith that saved the last of the Dark Elves from slaughter, when you and I would have gladly let them all die.”

“And what has been the result of those good deeds? A long-dead race returned to the Nine Realms, upsetting the balance of power even further, and my heir abandoning his birthright to waste the next century in the company of a woman who will be gone in a blink.”

Thor remembered his brother’s parting words, the tight, sorrowful embrace, and the lock of hair Loki had given him. “He gave up his chance for freedom. He accepted responsibility for his crimes, even though we know now that he was being manipulated. What more would you have from him?”

“Nothing. I am grateful to have my youngest son back. But I would have my eldest reclaim his place as well.”

But Thor shook his head, and stepped away from his father’s fond hand. “I can never be the king you want. Loki can. He is like you in ways that I am not.”

Odin went suddenly still. “What do you mean?”

“I lack your ruthlessness.”

L'éternité de la damnation, l'infinité de la jouissance (Crimson Peak)

It had been two years. Two years of independence and travel and writing and of seeing the world. Her life would never be normal again, but at least now it felt charmed instead of cursed. At least during the day.

At night, she still dreamed of red-soaked white nightdresses, and of Lucille Sharpe haunting the crumbling halls of Allerdale. She woke with the taste of blood in her mouth, and visions of Thomas screaming in hell.

She didn’t know if he deserved that. He had done terrible things, but how many had been of his own choosing? He had not been a good man, but he had so desperately wanted to be.

Demon in My View (Good Omens)

Normally, Aziraphale was loath to part with any of the books in his collection – though he was not above going against his own grain for people whom he knew would love and cherish the tomes almost as much as he himself did – but in this case, he was delighted to make an exception.

"No charge. No, I absolutely insist. After all, my dear boy, they were meant to be yours."

Adam thanked him politely, and then asked, "Do you still have that wicked flaming sword?"

Aziraphale winced a touch at the adjective but let it pass. "No, no, I'm afraid not. I was required to give it back."

"That's not fair. It was yours, Crowley said it was. And you did help save the world with it. They should give it back to you."

"Well, perhaps they will, one day."

And His Feet Were Made of Clay (Good Omens)

The bookshop of A.Z. Fell was closed. It was the middle of the day and every shop surrounding it was open for business, but most passersby didn't seem to notice the bookshop, and the ones who did weren't surprised that it was closed. In fact, if you examined the diaries of London citizens going back to eighteen hundred, you would find countless entries complaining about the fact that Mr. Fell and Co. (Aziraphale had added the 'Co.' in the eighteen-forties, when he realized he needed to start pretending to be his own son.) never seemed to be open, and that when they were, the very nice gentleman inside was always curiously reluctant to actually sell you anything.

The thing that Aziraphale had always liked most about his corporation was that it looked human. It lacked basic human needs and drives, but it could simulate and perform those functions with perfect adequacy, and really, that was beside the point, because it looked human. It looked unique, the way humans did. Looked like God the way humans did, and the way angels most emphatically did not. Angels had been created by the Almighty with a variety of ineffable functions in mind, and what they looked like when they weren't cramming all their eyes and wings and wheels into a chunky bipedal casing with odors and fluids reflected those functions.

Humans, as near as Aziraphale had been able to figure out in six thousand years of watching, had no preordained function. God had made them because they were fun and that was enough, and he rather liked that about them. Envied that about then, even. (Envy wasn't something he was supposed to admit to, but he lied to himself about so many other things that he simply couldn't have this one on his conscience.)

Although if they did have a function, he was convinced that they existed for the sole purpose of making more of themselves.

A Pause From Thinking (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine)

“Doctor, I appreciate the courtesy call, but it this is some sort of human mourning ritual, I’m really not interested.”

"I didn't think you'd be interested in mourning. I just thought you might want some company. A loss is a loss, after all." Julian poured out the whiskey and handed Garak a glass. "Here's to terrible fathers."

Lots of Rules and No Mercy (sequel to “I Say, Why Not?”) (Tron) 

It was about a month after Alan was first able to communicate with his security program that Tron made the request—not out of any doubt in his user's abilities, but out of respect for the human he looked to as both creator and guardian angel.

"His name was Ram," said Tron, the words appearing on the screen beneath his angularly-rendered face, his voice coming through the headphones like an echo of Alan's own voice. "We were in the MCP's holding cells together for a while. He was just an actuarial program, but he was good at the games and..." The blocky, pixelated face didn't convey one-tenth of the emotion Alan was sure he could hear in the program's tight, gruff voice. "He was a good friend."

"I'm sorry." Alan felt silly, even after a month, apologizing and offering sympathy for the erasure of a program. He was a software engineer after all—he'd been writing and rewriting and erasing programs since high school. It had never been that big of a deal before. "I'm sorry, Tron."

Tron seemed to gather himself together. "Alan. Can you resurrect him?"

Alan stared at the face on the screen, unsure of what to say. He knew Tron couldn't see him or his expression of dumbfounded shock, but the silence said enough. "Forgive me," Tron murmured, seeming to bow his head in the way that made Alan the most uncomfortable. "It was impertinent of me, I shouldn't have asked—"

"It's not that," Alan blurted out. "It's just—I wouldn't know where to start," he added, trying to ignore the uneasy thrill of his creation's simple faith in him.

The Goblin Emperor’s Garden (The Goblin Emperor)

It became Maia’s habit, following the drama of his first Winternight as emperor of the Elflands, and once his wife-to-be decided that he no longer needed quite so many dancing lessons, to hold small intimate suppers one evening a week in his private dining room in the Alcethmeret. Sometimes he entertained several people, sometimes only a few, but nearly every week, Csethiro Ceredin was at the table.

If it was only the two of them at supper, she sat opposite him, where he had the privilege of listening to her speak until the small hours of the morning on all manner of topics, while he forgot about his meal and tried not to drown in her brilliant blue eyes. If there were others at table, she sat at his right, and though she had other social obligations on such evenings, it was worth it to Maia, to be able to sometimes, quickly and surreptitiously and not always entirely secretly, squeeze her hand under the embroidered tablecloth.

His secretary and all of his nohecharei always noticed, and he suspected that they desperately wanted to tease him about it. His nephew Prince Idra also always seemed to notice, and as he and Maia grew closer, Idra did not hesitate to tease him.

“You should be careful,” Csethiro playfully warned the prince, one night after the rest of the guests had taken their leave and the three of them were alone at table, lingering over dessert. “For someday your uncle will find you a wife, and you will make just such a fool of yourself, and he will be as shameless in laughing at you.”

Idra and Maia both blushed, stamping their utterly dissimilar features with a moment of family resemblance. “If I am so fortunate as to someday have such a wife as to be worth making a fool of myself over,” said Idra, half-bold and half-shy, as only a fourteen-year-old boy could be, “I should thank my uncle profusely for his choice, and not mind the teasing.”

“Well spoken, cousin,” Maia said gratefully.

[oh-little-owl]

a lotta facts

I was tagged by @sofuckingchuffed and @barbaesparza! Thanks y’all :) 

Gonna save your dash and put it under the cut. Reminds me of ye olden myspace days.

RULES: you must answer this 92 statements and tag 20 people.

THE LAST:

1. Drink: coffee

2. Phone call: student loans, as soon as they opened this morning, hoo boy!

3. Text Message: a college friend

4. Song you listened to: Future Islands - Through The Roses

5. Time you cried: Friday -- saying goodbye to family after vacation

6. Dated someone twice: if this is like “breaking up and getting back together” then i left that stuff in college. 

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: eh. no real regrets.

8. Been cheated on: not that I’ve been aware of.

9. Lost someone special: grandfather.

10. Been depressed: it comes and goes.

11. Gotten drunk and throwing up: my husband’s birthday party a few years ago. it was memorable enough that i haven’t done it again.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. blue

13. brown

14. green

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yep

16. Fallen out of love: nope

17. Laughed until you cried: lots

18. Found out someone was talking about you: i find with age it matters a whole lot less

19. Met someone who changed you: um, maybe in small ways. nothing major as far as i can tell.

20. Found out who your friends are: I’ve had a pretty good idea

21. Kissed someone on your facebooklist: these questions are boring when you’re married haha

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them.

23. Do you have any pets: two bebe cats

24. Do you want to change your name: nope! didn’t even change it when i got married. 25. What did you do for your last birthday: low key family stuff. I’m not a huge party person.

26. What time did you wake up: during the work-year: 6am. summers are more like 8ish.

27: What were you doing at midnight last night: writing :3

28. Name something you can’t wait for: SVU19/Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt s4

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Saturday

30. Favourite food: So many...but I’ll go with my top “this would be my last meal” choice which is tacos al pastor from this little mexican place in my college town.

31. What are you listening to right now: Noname Tiny Desk concert (for the thousandth time already, and it’s only a 15 minute set good lord)

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes. A few even. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: general anxiety

34. Most visited website: Tumblr definitely.

35. Background: Lock screen is a Barba collage, Wallpaper is art from the game Firewatch; desktop background is Poldark <3

36. What are you wearing right now: loungey-but-appropriate-to-leave-the-house clothes

37: Hobby: not as many as I’d like. writing, video games, sometimes messing around with perler beads 

38: Hair color: brown

39. Long or short hair: medium

40. Do you have a crush on someone: aw, husband. and i mean tons of actors but that’s only fair.

41. What do you like about yourself: i already did this! 

42. Piercings: ears

43. Blood type: who knows

44. Nickname: none, i mean aside from “hey you” 

45. Relationship status: married

46. Zodiac: Virgo

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV show: ahh. too many! 30 Rock/Parks and Rec/UKS/SVU/Girls/Silicon Valley to name a few. 

49. Tattoos: none yet. plans some day for a virgo constellation and a meaningful lyric.

50. Right or left-handed: right

51. Surgery: eyes! twice! as a kid! left me with a permanent paranoia of things coming near my eyes.

52. Scent: favorite? fresh bread baking.

53. Sport: baseball. let’s go O’s!

54. Vacation: favorite? road trips to find random roadside retro stuff with my husband.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: had some bread for breakfast that my cat tried to share with me :|

58. Drinking: coffee

59. I’m about to: do something productive for sure. definitely. it’s gonna happen.

61. Waiting for: dnd tonight

62. Want: bills to be paid

63. Get married: that happened!

64. Career: in the words of leslie knope - “punk ass book jockey”

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hug or kisses: Hugs

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes

67. Shorter or taller: no biggie. my husband is the teeniest bit taller than me and i think that’s perfect.

68. Older or younger: gonna agree -- context is needed.

69. Children or no children: not really sure. i like kiddos in theory, but I am literally also this person when they are given to me:

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: all bout arms

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: I guess if I really think about it, yes

75. Drank hard liquor: Yes.

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yes 

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex on the first date: no

79. Broken someone’s heart: maybe. i feel like that’s giving me and former relationships a lot of credit though. 

80. Had your heart broken: yes

81. Been arrested: never

82. Cried when someone died: yes, but much later. i process things at a glacial pace.

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: sure

85. Miracles: yes (I’m not religious, but a tow truck driver who introduced himself as J.C. popped a lock for us all stuck outside a car on christmas eve, so. that’s the one miracle I count).

86. Love at first sight: no. i got butterflies when i saw my husband for the first time, but that wasn’t love. love is something you build.

87. Santa Claus: the spirit of the thing 

88. Kiss on the first date: if it happens

89. Angels: eh.

OTHER:

90. Current best friend’s name: i’m lucky to have a couple i’d consider best friends!

91. Eye color: brown

92. Favorite movie: gosh. too many, again. Lost in Translation/Philadelphia Story/Adventureland/The Shining/Rear Window to name a few.

made it through! Honestly I don’t know 20 individuals that haven’t already been tagged... I’ve only recently been more social on this here blog so... as usual I will cop out. If ya wanna write 92 facts about yourself, go for it.

[mystery-moose]

FIC: Angus McDonald and the Flight of the Flying V (10/?)

[AO3 link]

They’ve come a long way, but even ten years after the world was saved, they’re still not quite where they should be. A whim, a missing painting, and a handful of near-death experiences help a flip wizard and his apprentice bridge the gap.

Taako does his best. Angus takes some risks. Introductions are made, bonds are tested, and lessons are learned — better late than never.

Much as he occasionally enjoyed pretending otherwise, Taako wasn’t an idiot; when Angus gave him his key and shooed him off, he knew it wasn’t for his benefit. Which was fine, really — the kid had a job to do, and Taako was a great big walking distraction. He could have left town right then and there, called it a day and gone back home.

And then Angus would be on his own. Looking for someone who could cast seventh-level Evocation.

Nah. Taako could afford to stay a bit longer. Not like he had anywhere else to be. Besides, the boy needed his help. Not with the case, he clearly had the detective shit locked down. No, Angus need Taako’s help with something far, far more important.

Alright, first thing’s first: how do you find a cop?

“Hey, hold this.”

Taako tossed a random dwarf his purse.

“Thanks.” Then he turned, cupped his hands by his mouth, and shouted at the top of his lungs, “Thief! Thief! A thief is stealing my purse!”

All heads in the market square crowd turned toward them. The dwarf looked from side to side, panicked. “Wh—I didn't—”

“Thief! Thug! Brigand! Cutpurse!” Taako shouted. “Other words for a guy who steals!”

The dwarf threw the purse to the ground and took off into the crowd, elbowing people to get past. Nobody stopped him.

Taako snorted and went to pick up his bag. Fuckin’ Neverwinter.

Moments later, a shorter woman pushed her way through the crowd. Taako recognized her instantly.

“Alright, step aside, what’s th—” She paused, brow furrowed. “Taako?”

He clasped his hands together and grinned. “Why, Silvia! What an absolute and total coincidence!”

“Uh-huh.” Silvia nodded and removed a hand from her belt, by her wand holster. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, fine, just fine!” he said, waving it off. “Some ne'er-do-well tried to make off with my bag, but he dropped it. No bigs.”

“Yeah, I heard the shouts.” She glanced around as the crowd surrounding them began to turn away, then shrugged casually. “So, do you wanna file a report, or…?”

Taako tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Nah, I wouldn’t wanna put you out. But it’s so funny that we ran into each other again! Are you busy?”

She blinked, then gestured around them. “I’m on duty?”

“Right, right,” he said dismissively. “How about after?”

Silvia rubbed the back of her neck, looking sort of confused. “I mean, I guess I don’t have any special plans—”

“Excellent! Then we can take you up on that rain check! Stop on by Ango’s place, we’ll do dinner!”

“Uh—”

“He’ll be a bit late, probably. I mean, you know him! Always with the detecting!” Taako laughed, short and sweet, then turned serious and rested a hand on her shoulder. “Now, do you have any allergies I should know about?” Silvia blinked again. “No, but—”

“Great! One less thing to worry about, am I right?” Taako elbowed her gently. “So what time should we expect you? Six? Six sounds good!”

“Six—”

“Six it is!” Taako stepped back, taking her hand in both of his. “Now I’m real sorry to cut and run, but I’ve got some shopping to do, and you’ve got, I don’t know, whatever police-cop business is, right?”

“I'm—”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a busy woman on the go, I get it!” Taako stepped back, tipped his hat, flashed her his best smile and spun on his heel. He waved over his shoulder as he walked away. “Keep it real, maydl! See you at six!”

Taako shoved his way through the crowd without looking back and tried to find a street sign pointing toward the merchant district.

The game was on. Now he had to prepare the field.

With a flick of his umbrella, Taako Reduced the old table and chairs to a more manageable size, then tossed them thoughtlessly into the back of the Pocket Spa. He shoved the new rosewood table out into the kitchen, and then arranged the four matching chairs around it.

Now, Taako was no mensch, but whatever his apprentice had in his kitchen reflected on him. He needed something nice and heavy, pretty but able to take a beating. Magnus had mentioned rosewood being a particular favorite of his, and if there was one area Taako trusted Magnus’ judgment in, it was this one. So rosewood it was. Of course, the carvings along the side and into the surface weren’t exactly utilitarian, but hey, if you’re gonna go to town, go in a wagon.

The art, however, he’d absolutely cheaped out on. No one cared what the hell was on a person’s wall, only that they cared enough to put something there. If the kid didn’t like ‘em, he could go and get his own. That being said, Taako did find a few pieces that spoke to him. Surely Angus would appreciate them as well. After all, what was Taako if not a living, breathing gift to aesthetics?

As for the plant, that was easy. The park wouldn’t miss it. They had dozens of those flowery bushes, and Angus’ taxes had paid for them, anyway. Taako felt he was free and clear, morally.

He was in the middle of banging a nail into the wall with the handle of his umbrella when he heard a knock at the door.

“Just a minute!” he called in a sing-song voice.

Taako picked up the painting of the cat on the clothesline and hung it carefully. He stepped back, admired it, and nodded. Then he threw on his apron, shrunk the Pocket Spa back down, pushed the potted plant to its rightful place in the corner, and opened the door.

Silvia was dressed almost exactly as she had been that afternoon, minus the militia tabard. She turned to face him as he opened the door, looking apologetic.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said, exasperated. “Some stuff came up, and I had to take care of it before I left the precinct for the day.”

“It’s cool, ketzile. In fact, you’re right on time!” Taako said, stepping aside and ushering her in. “I was just about to start dinner!”

Silvia stepped inside and looked around while Taako shut the door behind her. Her eyes caught on the painting over the fireplace.

“Nice, huh?” he said, resting a hand on his hip.

“Uh, yeah,” she said, nodding quickly. “Super nice.”

“See, 'cause dogs can’t play cards, normally.”

“No, yeah. Totally.”

Taako held his hand out. “Coat?”

Silvia blinked. “Oh! Right. Sure, thank you.”

She handed her longcoat to him and Taako hung it on one of the hooks by the door. Then he stepped around the kitchen table and opened the fridge.

“Should have everything I need,” he mumbled to himself, taking stock of Angus’ meager provisions. “Can make do, anyway.”

He looked over his shoulder at Silvia, standing near the kitchen table. “Take a load off! You want coffee? Tea? Beer?”

“No, I'm—” Silvia stopped halfway to her seat and raised her eyebrows. “Angus has beer?”

“Sadly, Ango’s a real straight-edge,” Taako said, shaking his head. “But I can whip some up, if you want. Water into wine is the easy stuff.”

Silvia considered it for a moment, then settled back into her seat. “I’ll stick with the water.”

“Square,” Taako said decisively, closing the fridge and getting a glass from the cupboard. “You two must’ve got along from the jump.”

“Actually…” Silvia laughed a little. “Not so much.”

“No?” Taako shut off the sink and handed Silvia the glass with a questioning look. “What, you butt heads or something?”

She shook her head and took a sip. Then she said, as casually as anything, “I arrested him.”

Taako stared at her. Then he burst out laughing.

“I was on the trail of this cat burglar, and I found Angus skulking around the area of the latest theft, looking thoroughly suspicious,” Silvia explained with a grin. “He fit the description. And when I patted him down and found the wand, the crossbow, the blackjack—”

“Stop! Stop!” Taako begged as he gasped for breath, bent at the waist and holding himself up with the counter. “I’m gonna black out!”

Silvia laughed while Taako fought to recover. He straightened against the counter and wiped tears from his eyes. “Ah, fuck. Poor little twerp.”

“He helped me track down the real thief,” she said. “That’s when I decided he was alright.”

Taako opened the fridge again and gathered up what he needed: mushrooms, shallots, butter and cheese, plus some green onions he could chop up and transmute into chives. The rice came from the cupboard; not the right kind, but that was easily remedied. Water to white wine, cheddar into parmesan, a little black pepper and sea salt, and Taako was in business.

While he prepped his ingredients, he said idly, “So, maydl, tell me about yourself.”

“Me?”

Taako glanced over his shoulder and gave her a look. “No, the plant in the corner. Yeah, you! What’s your story? You didn’t come out of the womb with cuffs and a badge, right?”

“Well… kinda.” Silvia shrugged. “It runs in the family.”

Taako filled the pan with water from the sink and with a swirl, turned it to chicken broth. He set it on one burner and picked up the only other skillet Angus owned. “You like it?”

“I do. It’s good work. Fulfilling. And ever since Lord-Commander Boudicca took the office, corruption has hit an all-time low.”

Taako took a moment to decide between butter or olive oil, then cupped a bit of water in his hands and subsequently coated the skillet with oil.

“I’ve met the Commander a few times, once when I was promoted to lieutenant,” Silvia said, a little awe creeping in. “She’s… incredible.”

Bit of a kiss-up, huh? Taako sneered to himself and started dicing mushrooms into the pan. “Alright, forget about work. What’s a gal like you do for fun?”

Silvia shrugged in his periphery. “Uh. Read, I guess? Solve puzzles, go hiking… oh, I love to climb, too! I’ve been meaning to take some time off and head south along the World’s Teeth, try and make a summit or two.”

“Why bother?” Taako tossed the mushrooms casually, using Prestidigitation to heat them faster and prodding them with a large wooden spoon. “You know magic. Just float on up and enjoy the view.”

She shook her head. “It’s not the same. And I don’t like to use magic when I don’t have to. I don’t want it to become a crutch.”

Taako turned and pointed at her with the spoon. “See, there’s where we differ, maydl. Magic’s like a great ass. If you got it? Flaunt it!”

To punctuate his point, Taako poured the mushrooms onto a plate (one of the new ones he’d picked up today, of course) then with a flourish, added the shallots and white rice to the empty pan. With a dexterous flick of his wrist, Taako tossed the rice in the pan and transmuted it to brown, and then with another toss, to Arborio rice. Silvia clapped politely, and Taako took a little stage bow.

“Besides,” he said casually, turning back to the stove and sneaking a grain of rice into his mouth, “some of us need that crutch.”

Silvia paused for a moment, then cleared her throat. “Sorry. It’s just how I feel. Probably picked it up from my mom.”

“She a wizard?”

“Nah. That’d be my uncle. He’s the one who taught me.”

“How much?”

“Fifth-level, mostly Evocation. Sixth, if I stretch.” She shrugged. “I’m okay. Could have learned more, I guess.”

When the rice began to turn gold, Taako stirred in the white wine, making sure to taste it on his tongue beforehand. Not a good vintage, transmutationally speaking, but it didn’t have to be. “Why stop there?”

“It was all I needed to enter the Academy,” Silvia said simply. “Militia was short on wizards at the time, and for as much as mom tried, I was never gonna be the best with a sword and board, y'know? So, I asked my uncle to teach me magic. He was over the moon about it, made a point to… well, to shove it in my mom’s face at every opportunity.”

Taako grinned. “Well, I don’t know about your mom, but your uncle sounds alright.”

There was a brief silence. Taako hummed tunelessly to himself as he stirred the rice.

“She was a good woman. Taught me a lot.”

Taako froze. His smile disappeared and he felt his jaw clench as he tapped his wooden spoon on the edge of the pan.

“Sorry, maydl,” he said quietly.

“It’s alright,” she said. In his periphery, he saw her lean her elbows on the table and smile mournfully. “Anyway, my uncle moved down to Armos to be closer to his husband’s family, so I haven’t had the opportunity to learn more.”

Taako decided to be quiet for a bit and let the awkwardness scab over. He added a bit of broth to the rice and stirred it in.

“What about you?” Silvia asked. “You teach Angus?”

“Only everything he knows,” Taako said, a smile forming on his lips. “He’s damn good in a kitchen.”

“Really?”

“Hell yeah.” He spun on his heel and grinned, tugging at his apron straps. “Compared to anyone but me, of course.”

Silvia grinned back. “He help with your cooking show?”

“Help? He was my trusted and loyal apprentice!” Taako spun back to the stove — can’t screw around too much with risotto. “Toured for seven years, helped with every single performance.”

“Wow.” Silvia shook her head. “Hard for me to imagine Angus out in the countryside, peeling potatoes in the back of a wagon.”

“First of all,” Taako said seriously, “he was paring, not peeling. There’s a difference.”

Silvia almost laughed. Then she furrowed her brow curiously. “Wait, is there?”

“Secondly,” he continued, ignoring her, “what’s so hard to believe? Ango’s a worldly kid. Been all over the place.”

“Just… not a side of him I’ve seen, I guess,” she said, rubbing the back of her neck. “So it was just the two of you?”

“Oh dear fuck, no!” Taako exclaimed, aghast. “Can you imagine? We’d drive each other insane!”

Silvia laughed. Taako turned back to add the last of the chicken broth to the rice.

“Nah, I had Krav with me,” he said, smiling despite himself. “Tall, dark, and bony. Patience of a saint, dumb sense of humor. The total package.”

Taako flattened his expression and turned to look at her. Very casually, almost disinterested, he asked, “You got anyone special, maydl?”

She blinked. “Uh. I mean — no. Not right now.”

He nodded casually and looked away. Then he grinned privately and did a little arm pump as he tended to the risotto.

“So, the three of you all on tour, huh?” Silvia asked. “Sounds like a family affair.”

Taako paused. He braced one hand on the counter and fiddled idly with the spoon, staring at nothing.

“Wasn’t always,” he said. “But… yeah. Guess it ended up that way.”

He looked over at Silvia. She looked a bit stricken, like she was afraid she’d said something wrong. Taako smiled at her and tapped his chest.

“Wasn’t ’and Company’ until they came along.”

Just then, Taako’s ears perked up; footsteps coming up the outside stairs.

“Speaking of company,” he said, nodding towards the door.

A moment later, Angus entered, arms full of books as he fumbled with the knob.

“Hello, sir! What smells so g—”

The amount of pleasure Taako took in Angus’ dumbstruck expression was extraordinary. Taako gave him the smuggest smile he could muster and spread his hands innocently.

“Risotto, my dude. Want some? You must be starving.”

People really underestimated how much fun being an asshole could be.

[performingtheartsrp]

We received a fantastic application for Joe Hart, and we’re truly excited to welcome Sil into our family. Please take a moment to go over the New Member Checklist, and send in your account within 24 hours. 

OOC:

NAME: Sil

PREFERRED PRONOUNS: They/them

AGE: 19

TIMEZONE: GMT +2:00

ACTIVITY LEVEL (1-10): 5-7/10, because I work a few days a month and am a full-time university student.

OLD ROLEPLAY ACCOUNTS: RFP

ANYTHING ELSE: RFP

IC:

CHARACTER’S NAME: Joseph Abraham Hart, Jr.

CHARACTER’S BIRTHDAY: 28th of May, 1992

CHARACTER’S SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual, but gravitates more towards women (is not aware of his attraction towards men yet)

SHIPS: Joe/Quinn, Joe/female, Joe/chemistry

ANTI-SHIPS: Joe/no chemistry

MIDGAME SHIPS: Joe/Quinn, Joe/Mercedes, Joe/Kurt, Joe/Blaine (I have more than two, sorry)

CHARACTER TWEETS:  

@thatjoehart: I still cannot believe the Lord has blessed me to play Jesús Martinez in the new ABC series #PerformingTheArts!

@thatjoehart: I suppose that the crayon lines on my wall made by my little brother could be considered modern art…

@ thatjoehart: “How blessed is he who considers the helpless; the Lord will deliver him in a day of trouble.” Getting this tattooed tomorrow!

BIOGRAPHY:

On the 28th of May, 1992 a little baby boy was born in Sumiton, Alabama. He was baptized Joseph Abraham Hart, Jr. and was the first son of Joseph Hart, Sr. and his wife, Rebecca. His parents were both 21 years old when they had him and had both just completed their missionary training. That is why the young family didn’t stay in Alabama for long. When he was only six months old, his parents up and left for Congo where they lived for two years to preach the gospel. There, his little sister Sarah was born just before they packed up and moved again.

In the beginning of the year 1995, they left Congo to go to Brazil. He and his family lived there for five years and welcomed three new children into the family: in January of 1996 his brother Elijah and in December of that same year, his second brother Solomon was born. In 1999, his mother gave birth to his new sister, Ruth. Joe, as he was called by his parents to avoid confusion, loved Brazil. He loved his friends and soaked up the Portuguese language like a sponge. He became as fluent as his friends and helped his father translate his sermons from the time he was six. He also acted out the Bible stories his father told the people of the villages and that is when the seed for his love for acting was planted. He continued to do this for several years and got increasingly better at it. He is still fluent in Portuguese to this day, but that isn’t the only language he learned throughout his childhood because soon, they’d move again.

He considered Brazil his home until he was seven. Then he was told they had to go again, that his parents were to go to India. He had cried silently when they left their village, the village he had always known as home. His little sister Sarah was upset too, so his father reprimanded him. He was a boy; he wasn’t supposed to cry. He was supposed to be strong and be there for his younger siblings. He had to make them feel safe, so he dried his tears and did what he was told. “Thou shall not disobey your parents” is what the Bible says, so that is what Joe did.

His time in India ended up being quite interesting as well. His family lived there from March of 2000 until May of 2002. Joe learned quite a bit of Hindi in his time there but he didn’t make friends that easily. He knew that any day, they could move again. He knew that the attachment would only lead to heartache. Instead he became more focused on his faith, which honestly was the only constant in his life. He had always just gone along with what his parents said, the words they quoted at him. When he was nine, he started to read the Bible for himself, making notes and writing down his interpretations in a little brown notebook. It took him until he was twelve to finish the Bible and then he started again, rewriting and correcting his notes.

When he was twelve and read the last page of the Bible he was in a completely different place than when he read the first page of said book. He was in Chile now and they were packing up to move back to Alabama. He now had two more brothers, named Isaac and Jeremiah who were twins and about a year old. His parents had gotten weary of the travelling and wanted a quiet life back at home in Alabama. Joe wasn’t sure what to make of it. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to move back. He’d hoped they’d go back to Brazil and this America which his parents spoke so fondly of, he had absolutely no affinity for whatsoever.

His father became a door-to-door Bible salesman and his family could barely make ends meet. His mother was a housewife and cared for Joe and his six siblings, but it weighed heavily on her. Normally, his father was around to help but now, he was on the road six days of the week. That is why Joe stepped up and helped his mother out with the children. He did the preparations for dinner, he changed diapers, potty-trained the boys, disciplined his siblings when necessary and gave them the necessary religious guidance they needed. He also did pretty much all the ‘dad’ stuff. He went fishing with his siblings, taught them how to throw a ball and made his little sisters feel like princesses. He started caring a little less for his siblings when he went to a public high school for the first time, when he was around 16. He was tired of being locked away in his house. He wanted to make some friends, get a taste of what life was like and boy, what a taste he got.

During the first day of his sophomore year, which was his first school day, he walked around with his mouth agape. He couldn’t believe how some boys and girls were openly kissing (read: making out!), how short the skirts of certain girls were and how low cut tops were. He couldn’t believe the curse words he heard and how so many people took the Lord’s name in vain. He almost didn’t want to go back to that place again, that place full of sinners! He talked it over with his father, over the phone, who told him Jesus preferred the company of sinners for a reason. That did change his mind and he decided to go back. He still considers that to be the best decision of his life.

He went back and discovered that those people he had gaped at, that he had prayed for so they would not go to hell were not all that bad. They may not all believe the same things he believed, but they were kind, giving and open to him. His best friend, Alex, taught him how to play the guitar and another classmate, Lisa always saved a seat for him in the classes they shared together. The three of them became inseparable until the end of Senior year. The trio discovered that they had a common interest in acting and joined the afterschool drama club. They put on a few plays and even a self-made musical.

Joe wasn’t aware of it, but he was the best student in the drama club. His teacher approached him though, telling him to take acting classes. When Joe explained his family’s financial situation, the teacher offered to teach him privately for free. He taught him how to sing and act and laid the foundation that would eventually lead Joe to Los Angeles because now, Joe had a very clear goal in life. He wanted to act and perform.

After senior year, Joe started working as a cashier in a local grocery store. He was intelligent but had not gotten a scholarship and there was simply no money for college. He had a plan though. He’d save up enough money to pay for a plane ticket to Los Angeles and to make sure he could live off his savings for a few weeks. He trusted that the Lord would care for him and would lead him to where he was supposed to go.

It broke his heart to leave his family behind and move to Los Angeles but he felt that he had to do it, that there was something great waiting for him. His parents told him to follow his heart and what the Spirit guided him to do. They had once been risk takers and travelers too, and they loved that their eighteen-year-old son was so much like them.

His first months in Los Angeles were tough. There were nights where he had no place to sleep and days that he didn’t eat but he auditioned for everything he could… He prayed three times a day, a practice that kept him going. He was about to give up though, tired of the rejection and the emptiness of his existence… and then it happened. He landed his first role in a Christian movie. He played a son of Noah in a movie aimed at children, to explain to them the story of The Ark. He worked for the same Christian movie company until about two months ago. It allowed him to make a name for himself as a Christian actor and it paid enough so he could rent an apartment with three other Christian guys he knew from church.

It was one of those friends who told him that there was a chance to audition for a part in a mainstream TV series. It was called Performing the Arts and considering they were looking for an actor who could sing as well, Joe would be a perfect fit. Joe decided to just give it a try, not thinking that he’d land anything. He couldn’t believe it when he was cast as Jesús Martinez. He almost cried when he got the call to tell him that he’d gotten the role of Jesús Martinez, but not for the reasons you might think. He was afraid. He would be playing a character who was openly bisexual and the child of a lesbian. He didn’t know how that was going to go over with his fans and family. He wasn’t even sure how he felt about it! He’d always seen homosexuality in all its forms as impure and against God. How was he going to play this character in an honest and true fashion? What would he do if the script told him to do something that he considered immoral, such as kissing a man? He could have declined it; he knew that but the same feeling that he got about going to Los Angeles came over him. He had to do it.

This decision had some consequences though. His father hasn’t spoken to him since he found out and the Christian movie producer he worked for made it very clear that he will never star in another film of theirs again. Everything is riding on this role now. Joe must make sure that this role makes it possible for him to break into the mainstream entertainment business because where he came from has nothing more to offer him…

YOUR CHARACTER’S HEAD CANON FOR THEIR CHARACTER: Joe’s head canon for Jesús is that he is a great dancer, in addition to being a great musician. He has always hidden behind his guitar because it makes him feel safe but also because dancing was something his father disapproved of. He saw it as too feminine and not as something that his son should be doing. When he’d been caught trying to pirouette when he was ten years old, his father had made him feel so embarrassed that he hasn’t danced since that moment. At least not with the door unlocked. He dances every day, before and after school in his room and has gotten very good at it. Joe hopes that one of the other characters in the series will stumble upon Jesús dancing and convince him to take lessons and develop his talent more.

[iftekharsanom]

The Lord of the Rings: The 10 Worst Movie Book Shifts

The art of adaptation is a cruel business. For a beloved property like J.R.R. The trilogy of The Lord of the Rings Tolkien is not limited to being victims when they move from page to screen. Peter Jackson calmly led the attack to bring Tolkien's rich Middle-earth world to life by adding some of his own artistic flowers. The King's Return Ring Society, Jackson has taken the highest of high fantasy concepts and translates them into three thrilling adventures. He just won three Academy Awards in 2004 for Best Picture, Best Director and Best Adapted Screenplay.That is, the films are not flawless. Fans of the books know how much Jackson left from Tolkien writing, especially his adaptation of the two towers. The characters are distorted, omitted from the underestimated key elements and important events, often to the less effective substitute. Here are the 10 worst book changes to Lord of the Rings movies. 1. To a joke Gimli

Unlike trilogy to his portrayal in Peter Jackson, Gimli is a tough warrior and a dwarf only. Although he is a fool in films essentially Tolkien put him as "an obscure character, usually only occasionally, to laugh, and although in some rare cases, entertainment, but never a joke." He certainly is not the idiot who thinks he can break the ring with a single blow from his ax. If in the laughter of the community conversion to Gimli, it undermines the dwarven moments of gravity. Take the darkest moments of the Battle of Helm's deep links, which is the Battle of Normandy beach from Middle Earth substantially. Although Aragorn and Theoden prepare their men and their bark orders, Gimli is on the edge how to make cracked strength and laughing. There is room for humor, even in the most difficult situations, but not at the expense of Gimli's character, approaching caricature throughout the filming. 2. Pass the Shire Wash

Long before J.R.R. Tolkien wrote at the end of The Return of the King, he planned to bring the epic circle of fantasy. Amidst the destruction of mighty Middle-earth, the region was not spared. Tolkien noted that "an image of the last decrepitude of the old flour mill, with its pool, which seemed so important to me." The picturesque image was Tolkien's own Shire, and he also had the hounds were destroyed. When the Hobbits return home (in the books), they discover that their homes have changed their own lives so much. Saruman and his servant Wormtongue moved to Frodo's facility in Bolson, and the evil forces of Mordor moved to Shire. The last battle of the War of the Ring found in Bilbo Baggins's backyard, and sees that the hobbits bravely fighting and Saruman is the death he has always deserved. Although Hobbits are peaceful short of Shire's tongue Snake's neck and his master will distribute dead by a shower of arrows. These sequences have added the already epic runtime of the film, but have the omnipresence of the evil Sauron demonstrated inspired. Without them making the movies that region than practically unchanged despite the apocalypse around them, which not only reduces the risks, but raises the question of whether Bag-end was out of danger, should not Frodo simply stay at home? Tolkien hanging entire story on this penultimate chapter because it represented during the war, even the most sympathetic people or the field are safe. 3. No Closure For Saruman

Saruman is a central character in The Lord of the Rings, so why was the ending so unsatisfactory? Sauron may be the most difficult of all bad guy, but is caught in an eye presence for the whole trilogy. This leaves Saruman as the main enemy to take shape in the flesh, and once all the chaos caused in Middle-earth, you would think that Peter Jackson would have enjoyed the opportunity to take his death in the final movie. In the theatrical edition of The Return of the King, all we say (by Tree Beard) is that the twisted wizard was locked in his tower, disappearing, until death comes to him. When the Ents had under her command, certain that she would be unhappy some form of punishment, instead of imposing a prison sentence. The species decimated the population, after all. Unfortunately, Jackson decided not to close for the White Magician to give to save for more cut of his death, in Isengard. As the director himself admitted, "I reluctantly decide to save this sequence for the DVD The selection based on was made that most people assume that Saruman was defeated by the events of deep and Helm's Ent. End appropriate, it is strange, "take over", the fate of Saruman in the film. Trimming to Shire: This inconsistency can be explained by the lack of other key element books. 4. Escape ARAGORN a hero in HAMBRIENDO CAR

If there was no model to compare with Aragorn movies, you can think of it as the ultimate hero. He is discreet, (relatively) early, and if you are struggling to convince bravely in the battle. This is all very well, but Aragorn as you can imagine from J.R.R. Tolkien is much more pronounced. More self-abominable in the movies, the Aragorn books unkempt, and almost reluctant leader is poised for leadership. More than any other man in history, Aragorn is the bearer of heroism. He does not withdraw his fate, nor does he question his role in the fate of Middle-earth. No, he embraces his role as Isildur's warm heritage. In movies, it always seems to have a foot out the door. A shining example of heroism confused his decision Aragorn the heads unarmed emissary Sauron in the Black Gate. Although the creature is uglier than the sin and mocks Aragorn, Legolas and should never the heir of Isildur get his moral code broke and a messenger of peace killed Gandalf on the fate of Frodo, the "Mouth of Sauron." Tolkien would be such an act reserved only for the most famous characters in Middle-earth. 5. HUMANIZING GANDALF against the Witch King

Speaking of King Warlock, if you have a scene to add in the fight with Gandalf, you can not let him win. Or if you are going to put the Wizards knees, do so after a glorious battle, love the kind of writers of fan fiction to create. For some reason, the extended version of Peter Jackson has the Return of the King a scene in Minas Tirith where the Witch King walk to stop Gandalf with Pippin flies. Though one of his greatest enemies in the present, Gandalf did not move, and instead sits on his horse to the shudder expecting Nazgul. Kill. Witch King sends a magical force field from Gandalf to destroy and then thrown from his horse in a really humiliating way. It is a pointless moment that not only adds value to the film again but has zero relationship with Tolkien's books and reduces Gandalf's omnipotent power without even a chance to respond, to give. 6. Neutralization THE IMPORTANCE OF Merry and Pippin

In general, Comic Relief is managed throughout the trilogy The Lord of the Rings and Peter Jackson and co-writer Philippa Boyens. Bring out Bilbo's 111th birthday to the end, Merry and Pippin laughing with their intrusive and audible. Unfortunately, the two hobbits are the Middle-earth puppet theater depicted far beyond the Tolkien borders. His wit and courage, unfortunately, lost in the shuffle. If for Merry and Pippin, Frodo and Sam were not they would never come with success in the region in the first place. Although they are out of their league long history, Merry and Pippin are quick to accept and learn as they go. In the movies, but Merry and Pippin are presented as accidental warriors who come to the community in a fantasy. In the books they need Frodo to come on the trip and, although hot Elrond to protest against his presence, Gandalf who insists on being accepted is. Finally, it is argued in value that it has been neglected by the death of Éowyn important against the Witch King, the Merry contribution. Without his dagger and his mystical wave of daring, Nazgul did not weaken to such an extent that a single strike would end. Although the Cheerful films show the dagger on the side of the spectrum to bring down, he received no credit in the episode. 7. Notes ENTS Daft

Despite the many missed opportunities, Peter Jackson's adaptation of The Hobbit achieved its calmer scenes, especially in moments of music. When the dwarves of the "misty mountains," a haunting and hypnotic Braman theme, all majesty in Tolkien's mind seems to thrive. It is particularly strange that Peter Jackson several minutes running precious time to see Thorin Shield of Oak hum an output melody when you consider that the rest of the movie is consumed by the CGI high frame rate. It is not until Bart tree hobbits on a walk in the afternoon when he finally got the decimation of his colleagues testify Ents. Like Eowyn, he uttered a cry from Darth Vader-lite of the sadistic magician knows that his days are numbered. This is a slap in the face that created Tolkien's character for the first time. In the books, the arrival of Merry and Pippin comes just before Entebate where Barbary and Co. quickly decide to bring ruin to Saruman. There is no need to think about it because they are intelligent, experienced and proud of their people. The movies show the Ents have little or no agency, but rather serve as the filling time, while the rest of the plot unfolds kills. 8. Reduced almost all songs and POEMS

Despite the many missed opportunities, Peter Jackson's adaptation of The Hobbit achieved its calmer scenes, especially in moments of music. When the dwarves of the "misty mountains," a haunting and hypnotic Braman theme, all majesty in Tolkien's mind seems to thrive. It is particularly strange that Peter Jackson several minutes running precious time to see Thorin Shield of Oak hum an output melody when you consider that the rest of the movie is consumed by the CGI high frame rate. This moment is just one of the many songs and poems written throughout the text of The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Pippin Music in The Return of the King is one of the most prominent in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and Jackson used it with great effect. If only the original songs of Tolkien object of frequent use. Without suggesting that the trilogy a full-length music film would have benefited from the song Frodo in the Bouncing Pony or Aragorn's poem about Gondor. This is of great imagination, which Tolkien wrote after all for the same reason of such a long list of songs in the first place. 9. MAKING HEROES IN PRACTICAL ELAS

For many fans of the film, the battle of the Abyss of Helm, the highest mark was two towers in the water. It was a confrontation in the rain of Uruk-hai furiously against an army of men and elves. It is a scene that is opposite to the best fights of Game of Thrones, but it is a pity that Peter Jackson strongly to interpolate the raw material and wrote basically the whole nature of the war. The most notorious of all, he relied on warrior Elven to fight against the Dark Army. To be clear, there were no elves for the Abyss of Helm in the books when the film a team of five hundred archers shows from Lothlórien to sent the scene of the fight. Army Theoden consisted largely of "soldiers [I have seen many winters or very few." Of course, this does not mean it describes the presence of immortal popular Elf. In the battle of Horburg, Theoden did not shoot the luxury of a battalion of experienced archers dozens of bloodthirsty Saruman warriors. This is a recurring theme in The Lord of the Rings, the world of men shows that they strive to survive in a universe where everyone, even the elves flee to safety. This subtly benefits Theoden and Aragorn's deep Helms allows elves to save the day. 10. CASTING Hugo Weaving AS ELROND

When we meet Elrond in the Fellowship of the Ring, which is about 6,500 years old. JRR Tolkien describes him as "noble and just as an elf-lord, as strong as a warrior, as wise as an assistant, as venerable, as king of the dwarves, and just as in summer." Briefly, Elrond is the total package . His debut on the big screen can be described as something of a sage, but pushes Elrond in a much more humane way than his elvish nature area can withstand properly. To be sure, he is as mortal as she is eternal, he can not quite god-like in appearance and be in nature. Hugo Weaving, despite his entire talent and screen presence, may not have been the ideal role for an actor. His dullness and his ridiculous "Mr. Anderson" make him more militant than he probably thought Tolkien. Although dressed in the best clothes and insignia, the fabric looks more like a front-warriors than an old-fashioned board. It actually looks right at home in flashback scenes during the Battle of Dagorlad.

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