#lord Debling fanfiction

[peachpitfics]

Out of the Woods

Fandom: Bridgerton

Summary: As Lord and Lady Debling, you are headed back to your estate to spend time together in seclusion before your new husband has to leave for his next research endeavour.

Length: 3.3k

Pairing:  Lord Alfred Debling x fem!reader

Content Warnings: fingering, public sex, penetrative sex, vaginal sex, breeding/impregnation.

Bridgerton master list (tag list)

Lord Debling’s estate was several days away by carriage, but that was no matter, you had each other to get to know along the way. There had only been your family present at the wedding, and a few of Alfreds close friends and colleagues. It was suspected by yourself and your family that perhaps you would not be meeting the Lords family at all.

The wedding night had been more than you had dreamed of, and while he had explicitly claimed he was not looking for love, you could see the beginnings of something forming between you. Your new husband was gentle and kind, with the softest touch – your mother had warned you on your wedding day that men took their pleasures with their wives that evening. But she was wrong, Lord Debling allayed all your fears, quelled your nerves, and held you tightly all night.

“Are you excited to see the manor?” Lord Debling reached over to you, sitting next to him, and clasped his hand around yours. His touch never seemed out of place or uncomfortable.

“Yes, of course I am Alfred” You replied, looking out the window to see if it was getting nearer. In the distance, a sprawling manor, snugly built into a valley, was surrounded by overgrown trees and vines. It looked peaceful. His thumb stroked the top of your hand in fondness, excited to see you so alit.

The manor had wide, deep blue double doors and tall windows, you were sure this home would be filled with a lot of light. The service staff of the house all stood outside to greet you, their own excitement bubbling over. Alfred appeared to be friendly with each member of staff, shaking hands and even offering his head housekeeper a warm hug upon arrival.

“Is this your lovely bride then, my Lord?” The middle-aged woman asked, beaming at you.

“So, it is. I’d like you all to get acquainted with Lady Y/n – My travels begin in a weeks’ time, and I will be leaving her ladyship in charge of the entire estate” Alfred placed a firm hand at the small of your back and pulled you into him.

Clambering up the front steps, Alfred began giving you the grand tour of your new home. The study, the library, the master bedroom and even the nursery – something in you was not expecting there to be a full nursey set up no meters from where you were sleeping. But it did excite you, the thought of children running around the manor to keep you busy while Alfred was away. It was your favourite room in the manor.

Leading you back to the sitting room at the front of the house, he held both your hands in his, “If you could eat anything for supper tonight, what might it be?” Alfred asked excitedly.

His question took you by surprise. You had taken on your husband’s lifestyle as soon as he asked for your hand.

“I would greatly appreciate fresh bread,” Your mouth began watering, “And eggs! Perhaps also some jam” You blushed, thinking about the insane request you just made.

Alfred laughed heartily, “Of course, I should hope we will not be having the jam and eggs together” He prayed, scooping you up into his arms and laying you on the settee by the window. It would not have mattered what size you were, Alfreds strength was clear and effortless. Even without a love match, you felt adored. Every interaction seemed romantic.

You spent the evening in the dining room, speaking about your lives back and forth, picking at bread and cheese the cook had sent out after you kept on at the table well after the meal was finished. It was nice, getting to know someone on this level.

There was a lull in the conversation, you could tell your husband wanted to ask you something.

“Y/n, the housekeepers have prepared a room for you across the hall from the master bedroom,” He swallowed, “However, you are welcome to sleep with me. The choice is yours, of course, and I will bare no ill will, whatever you choose”. Alfred was so very well spoken, even if he was trying not to choke on the words from nervousness.

You thought about it for a moment. You would have plenty of time to be alone with your thoughts. Sleeping separately would create an unintentional divide and even damage your chances of falling in love. The decision felt simple to you.

“I should like to sleep in the master bedroom” You flashed him a delicate smile.

“I would like that, very much” He replied, an uncontrollably grateful smile glistening in his eyes. You could see it when he looked at you, this glint of hope, right in the centre of his luminous blue iris. “Shall we go to bed then?” Alfred stood, holding out his hand to escort you up the stairs.

Lying together in bed, unsure of what was considered appropriate, you kept your fingers woven together, hands planted on your stomach. You felt him roll onto his side to face you in the dark, so you matched him, getting a little closer.

“I apologise for my introspection; I do not know how to act” Alfred whispered to you.

“I have not been married before. I know how to run a house, keep things going… But I have never been a wife before, I do not know either” You reassured him he was not the only one feeling a little lost.

“I am sure we will get used to being together” Alfred reached out, squeezing your arm in solidarity, “I think I should like sharing a bed with you. I wish to speak to you tomorrow on some matters only husband and wife should discuss. However, my lady, I am so very tired from travelling and I must sleep” He sighed, drifting forward in the blackness to press his warm lips into yours. Shivers of excitement raced down your body as you spun around and slid into his arms, the both of you falling asleep in minutes.

                                          ~

Alfred invited you to breakfast the following day, your heart pounded as you made your way to the dining room, wondering what he wanted to speak to you about. Breakfast was quiet, there was an apprehensive tenseness in his shoulders and the way he picked prudently at his eggs.

“I am of the impression you are feeling less than confident about what you must discuss with me today, Alfred. I want you to know that I will listen to what you have to say with respect and consideration” You tried to reassure him.

His face upturned, “I am pleased to hear it. The questions I have are easy enough to ask, but I do struggle with beginning the conversation, without appearing too direct” He cleared his throat with a soft chuckle.

“Do not concern yourself, simply ask the questions you would like answered and I will do my best” You nodded once, putting down your fork and straightening your dress.

“Alright,” Alfred shuffled uncomfortably, “I would like to discuss the possibility of an heir. I know that I am going to be away for some time, and I will be leaving you to care for the estate. I wish to have children, and I know that your mama had said that you were also committed to little ones. Is that true?” The words tumbled from him in a heap.

“Of course, my mother would never have lied about my desires. I have always wanted children, as long as I can remember I have dreamed of being a mother” You beamed. Alfred seemed relieved in hearing this, and you felt the same similar alleviation.

“Thank goodness,” Alfred sighed happily, “Is this something you would like to achieve before I am to go away? I understand that I would miss the first several years of our first child’s life, but if it would make you happy, I would be agreeable to trying.”

Your face could not hide the stretch of your smile at all. Nothing would have made you happier; you had fretted over this conversation, your mind telling you that there was no way Alfred would want children, considering his endeavors. It seemed you could not be more wrong, and with every passing moment between you, love bloomed further in your heart.

“I think a picnic, this afternoon, in my favourite spot!” Alfred rubbed his hands together excitedly. You nodded fervently, clawing to spend more time with him before he left.

The cook prepared a picnic basket, with wine and bread, cheese, and fruits. There was a blanket inside also. You assumed this was something he did often, even alone, as the picnic basket was quite worn. The basket hung on his left forearm, his other hand clasped in yours as he led you out the kitchen door, and across the field.

“Tis not a far way to walk” He remarked, making sure you had comfortable shoes on anyhow. You squeezed his hand, silently thanking him for caring enough to check.

The grass was long and unkept, the trees and thicket were dense. Alfred liked to keep and observe nature exactly how it was. He enjoyed watching the birds and the foxes evade each other at the edge of the bramble. If the housekeeper found a snake or a toad, she always found him to remove it properly. Nothing in his natural habitat worried him much, hardly even the spiders, webs woven tightly between slight gaps on your journey.

Getting closer and closer to your destination, you could hear it. The sweet somber trickling of water. A crooked, clear stream, in the middle of this jungle of dour giants, solidified statues of spirits long gone. Every step you took felt ancient, the hollowness of your chest, uneasy in such unfamiliar territory. Yet there was Alfred, more at home here than in the manor. Watching him was like watching a child play outdoors, sheer wonder and interest on his face in the unexplored.

Under the shade of a willow, in the grass by the stream, Alfred spread the blanket out, sitting down in a homely manner. The way he looked up at you, angelic, his eyes beckoning you to him, his hand outstretched, begging you to trust him. Before even thinking about it, your body had moved you towards him, curling your legs behind you, nestling into his side.

“Does it worry you, being out here?” He asked softly.

“I do not think worry is the correct word. I appreciate how comfortable you are here, it is strange to me” You blinked up at him, “This is potentially one of the most beautiful places I have ever been in my life” You hummed, watching the water creep over the rocks in front of you gently.

“I am glad you think so” Alfred fiddled with leaves in his left hand, the other wrapped around you. His hand rested on your plump hip, his fingers stretching back and forth, grasping on a little. It was like he was assessing how he could grab onto you, the thought of which thrilled you a little. You reached your hand up and combed your fingers through his beard. These were firsts for the both of you – you did not expect the texture to be so cushy and light, it fascinated you. Alfred’s hair was so light and neat, well taken care of. He closed his eyes as you stroked his face, a gentle smile took hold and a little pink tinge glowed on his cheeks.

The movement of your hand stopped only when you were properly hypnotized by his facial expression. Alfred opened his eyes when it dawned on him that you were simply staring, an infatuated gleam reflected in your own eyes.

“Shall we have something to eat?” Alfred asked.

“Please” You gave your head a slight shake, breaking free of your trance.

Your husband served you a small plate of bread, cheese, and fruit, he poured the wine and passed a glass to you. You thought about how content you were, picnicking with your husband. You sat cross legged across from each other now, the conversation light, the food, delicious. Alfred watched on as you tried your best to eat your lunch like a lady. Biting into fresh raspberries, juice dribbling down your chin, a droplet falling onto your chest. Without hesitation, Alfreds thumb met your chin, swiping another droplet off with his finger and bringing it to his mouth sensually.

Suddenly his icy blue eyes deepened, a scorching claim sparked. You had made love once before, on your wedding night, out of obligation. It had been slightly uncomfortable and more educational than recreational. Then, he had been calm and gentle, it felt like he separated himself and his genuine desire. Now, this look in his eye, ignited something candescent in your lower stomach.

Alfred lunged forward, his lips colliding with yours in a ravenous fashion. You both gasped for air at the slightest of breaks in your osculation, Alfred’s hands finding their way to your hips, dragging you forward to sit in his lap. He was tall, even sitting, he had to bend down to kiss you. His thick fingers, and wide palms, threaded their way through your hair, taking hold of you. The dainty kisses he placed along your jawline felt lovesick, his moans were carnal, and still thoroughly shy. Your hips instinctually ground into his, feeling how hard he was beneath his breeches under you.

Reaching between you, your hand slid down the length of him through his pants, hopeless yearning surging through you, you could barely contain yourself. This was the first time you felt like a wife, with her husband. Alfreds head hushed backwards, gasps leaving his lips. His eyes seemed to roll around in his head, sedate with pleasure.

“My lady” Alfred groaned, swallowing, “Are you certain? Here?” He asked breathlessly.

“Yes, I am sure” You had never felt so safe and so vulnerable in your life.

Alfred began stripping off clothing from his upper half, his eye contact surer suddenly. You observed, afraid blinking meant you would miss something. His chest was solid, bulky. His shoulders broad, his collar bones defined. Your hands rushed to his bare chest, fingers playing in his light brown, blonde chest hair that neatly trickled down his belly and into his pants. It had been dark on your wedding night, very low candlelight, whereas now, in the middle of the day, you could see every detail.

His hands moved from your hair and pulled your hands from his crotch, maintaining your gaze as his fingers danced exploratively down your inner thigh, towards the apex of your thighs. Your lips parted ever so slightly, fearful pleasure pooling in sweet wetness between your legs.

Alfred leaned forward, his lips hardly touching yours, “It will be okay” He whispered into you. He had not touched you like this before. His pointer finger delved between your lips, exotic excitement contorting your face as his finger brushed against your clitoris for the first time. Your knees wanted to clench together, stopped by his other hand, holding your legs apart for him as you sat on his legs. Switching to his thumb, stroking upward, Alfreds pleased expression, complacence seemed to ooze from every pore as your moans overtook the sounds of nature surrounding.

This was what you had been craving, this intimacy with your husband. His fingers flicked, circled, and tapped in just the right spots, his breathy kisses were the only encouragement you needed, he sent you right into a shockingly continuous climax. The sounds you made were loud, uncontrollable moans that echoed off the dense trees around you. The longer he caressed you there, the many more ripples of this exquisite feeling you felt.

“You are very easy to please, my lady” Alfred moaned softly into your mouth, his tongue flicking over yours, his teeth holding your lower lip captive.

“Perhaps you just know me better than you think” You sighed in glorious resign. You reached down, unbuttoning his breeches, his blue eyes widening and willing.  Planting your hands on each of his shoulders, you pushed him to the picnic blanket, sliding your legs either side of his as he laid down. Stuffing your own anxiety down, you reached into his trousers and freed his erection. You inspected it first, not having seen it in this light before. This was your first time holding it in your hands, your first time touching different parts of him. You felt you should have guessed the size of it would seem gargantuan to you, with the width of his shoulders and how tall he was. It only made sense that proportionally, he was large in your hands and extremely hard. It intrigued you, and you promised yourself, that in a more comfortable location, you would explore him further. For right now, you just wanted to make him feel as he made you.

Up under your dress, your hand wrapped around his length, you placed him at your entrance as you hovered over him. Alfreds hands rested steadily on your hips, ready to help guide you down. Sinking down onto the first inch of him, you yelped in pleasant surprise, pausing for a moment to allow your body to adjust.

“You are so beautiful” Alfreds fingers brushed against your cheek, your mouth opening as you lowered yourself down another few inches. There were not many times before now that Alfred had truly complimented you, but this felt the most real. It felt the truest.

Your skin met his, you moved gently, the size of him effectively widening this part of your body. His elegant face looked up at you, nodding as his hips started meeting your movements in a more consistent rhythm. Everything felt tight, and yet free, Alfreds continuous thrusts were masterful. His hands flicked up under your dress, his fingers sinking into that divot in your hips where he had felt earlier.

“I imagined this would be the perfect place to hold you” He groaned, pressing you down into him. Every motion was deliberate, fueled by necessary, propulsive demand. Unbridled lust loomed underneath you, Alfred became unrestrained, idly sinful; pulling you forward, finally getting to kiss you as you bounced back to his thrust.

“Al- Alfred! Oh my god!” You screamed, his deepest maneuver yet sending you spinning.

“I want fill you y/n” Alfred moaned, losing control of his facial expressions.

Each powerful thrust felt deeper than the last, the raw insatiable need exuding from Alfred felt primitive and tawdry. Alfred cursed towards the heavens, his grip on your fleshy hips tighter than before. Each thrust more aggressive, more depraved, his mindless hunger for you tarnishing his gentlemanly sensibilities. Alfred finally reached his own supernal culmination, pressing into you a final few times before pulling you down to his side. Alfred's strong arms stretched around you and pulled you into him, his kiss a celebration of the acts you had performed together.

You snuggled up together on the picnic blanket, peaceful and mutually satisfied. Alfreds arms felt secure, and you realized you were already well and truly in love with him.

“Alfred,” You sighed sleepily.

“Mmm?” Alfred mumbled in response.

“I love you” You curled into him in an almost feline nature.

Alfreds body did not go rigid as you expected. Instead, he kind of relaxed into you more.

“I must admit, I did not expect to fall in love when we made this match,” Alfred articulated softly, “But I am enjoying it… Falling in love with you” Alfred rolled his head to the side, pressing a kiss onto your temple. “How thrilling it is to think we might have just created our first born”.

You finished your afternoon, drifting in and out of serene sleep beneath the swaying willow, the sound of trickling water and birds chirping, the only disturbance for miles.

--------------------------------------

Tag list: @cringycat24 // @blckbarbiedoll // @freyagallileaevans // @junkie05 // @rosabeetroot // @flamewriterr //

If you would like to be tagged in Bridgerton fanfiction written by me in the future, please let me know!

[theworldofotps]

Painting (Drabble)

Pairing: Lord Debling x Reader Word Count: 743 Description: Y/n is struggling with a painting when she recieves some much needed help.

So, I have never written fanfiction for Bridgerton before but after watching the first half of season 3 and meeting Lord Debling I couldn't help myself. I'm also very nervous to post this because it's a bit out of my comfort zone but I hope you enjoy anyway.

Dedicated to: @madhatterbri who encouraged me to write this, helped form the plot and is overall one of the best. I appreciate you so much thank you! (I haven't added my normal tag list since those are usually just for wrestling. If you'd like to be added to a tag list of anything I write besides wrestling let me know!) __________ Y/n let out a soft huff as she wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, staring at the canvas in front of her. She’d spent the last two hours trying to paint a bird from the book set on a stool in front of her. This was a painting she just didn’t want to mess up on but the more she stared at it the worse it seemed to look.

“Is everything alright m’lady?”

“Yes Ruth, just having a bit of difficulty getting these colors to work and blend the way that I wish them too.”

“Please let me know when you are ready, and I shall draw the bath for you.”

“Thank you, Ruth.”

Watching the maid leave, Y/n turns back towards her painting and examines the book once more. Adjusting the apron she wore over her dress to keep from ruining it, she dipped into her paints again. More time passed and her frustrations only grew as the colors started running and made the bird look like a mess.

Dropping the paintbrush in the pot of water she hung her head in defeat, deciding to just start all over again. Not having heard the door open she nearly jumped, feeling a pair of arms wrapping around her before a chuckle sounded in her ear.

“Sorry to startle you love I thought you heard me enter.”

“That’s alright my lord I just was focusing on something else.”

Alfred glanced around to be sure they were alone before pressing a soft kiss to her neck.

“Tell me what’s the matter.”

“I’m trying to paint this bird and all of my colors keep running I’ve spent hours on it but alas to no avail.”

Remaining silently as his eyes drifted over the canvas in front of them, since they had began courting he was trying to take interest in her hobbies. When he found out she had a love for painting much like his mother, it was one he quickly did his best to learn all he could about it.

“Allow me to offer my assistance to you.”

Grabbing her hand gently together they picked up the brush, the sparks of electricity she felt as they moved together dipping into her paint pallet. She could barely concentrate at the feel of him pressed against her back. When the brush touched the canvas, she let out a soft laugh.

“What is it brining you such joy my dear?”

“Your beard tickles my cheek.”

Y/n spoke softly as his own smile grew to match hers the two talking in soft whispers as he helped her fix the once ruined picture.

“What do you think?”

“It looks so much better thank you for your help now we both must sign it.”

She said pointing to the feather quill and pot of ink sat on the desk a few feet away from them, Alfred reached over grabbing the quill. Signing the name Debling then placing the quill in her hand so she could sign her last name.

Placing it back in the ink pot Y/n slowly turned to face him their eyes meeting hers lighting up as his softened.

“Miss. Y/n  I know this may come forth as a bit forward but may I kiss you?”

He asked a slight nervous quiver to his voice if you listened close enough she remained silently causing him to clear in throat. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel pressured into anything. After a moment her smile grew as she leaned closer to him their lips brushing in the softest touch before a knock on the door sent them apart. Composing themselves she turned to see Ruth entering one more.

“Excuse me miss but your mother is looking for you.”

“Thank you, Ruth please tell her, that I will be right there.”

Ruth nodded, leaving them alone again y/n sighing softly she turned back to Alfred who gently touched her cheek.

“I must be going as it is rather late, I shall call upon you tomorrow afternoon would that be alright?”

“Yes, I would enjoy that very much my lord.”

The pair left the room and y/n saw him to the front entrance, his fingers once more touching her cheek in a bid farewell. Watching him leave she sighed her arms wrapping around herself, the thought of his arms around her caused her face to heat up. Turning, she went off in search of her mother.

[madhatterbri]

Mama Knows Best | Lord Debling

Summary: Y/N's mother hatches a scheme to make her youngest daughter marry Lord Debling.

Lord Debling Masterlist found here

Taglist: @theworldofotps @plentyoffandoms

Y/N's mother, Wanda, watched from the second floor balcony as her sneaky daughter snuck out of the ball. Typical. The girl had only been running away from her duties since she was a young girl.

"You really do know her well, Mama," Wanda's oldest daughter chuckled.

"Yes, well, Mama always knows best. You will learn that when you have your children of your own, Daisy," Wanda smiled. A minute later, Lord Debling could be seen walking to the gardens.

The mother of two knew her youngest daughter was going to try and sabotage her proposal to Lord Debling. She also knew she would have to force her Y/N's hand in this marriage. Her daughter wanted to marry for love as if that was a real thing. Luckily for her, Mama was around to fix everything. Y/N would thank her one day.

"Daisy, do gather around some of the guests. The gossipers preferably. I feel like giving a tour of the gardens,"

Y/N knew what she was doing wasn't right. To be caught with a man unattended would be quite the scandal. Lady Whistledown would have love news. She didn't have a choice. Lord Debling wasn't looking love. The proposal couldn't happen. Surely, her mama would forgive her one day.

They sat next to each other on a bench by a fountain. The water poured from the top and made its way towards the bottom. Pink and white roses bloomed at the bottom.

"Have you an answer for my proposal?" The Lord asked. He took off his top hat and placed it on his lap. "I know we want different things, but I don't want you to compromise your dreams for mine,"

"I'm sorry, my Lord, you would be an excellent husband, but I wish to marry for love," Y/N answered and played with her bracelet nervously. All the times she rehearsed in front of the mirror could not prepare her for this. Her mother's vicious words played in her head. "You must think I'm a fool,"

"Not at all. I know that you will find this great love you seek. Your future husband will be lucky for it," he assured her with a warm smile. She looked in his eyes. They were full of caring and love. Any woman would be lucky to have him.

They sat in silence momentarily. Y/N enjoyed the peace and quiet. The birds chirped away as the wind rustled the leaves. The relaxing sound of the water in the fountain flowing below. No talk of balls, proposals, and scandals. Just peace.

Lord Debling stood from the bench. He reached out his hand for her to take. She happily accepted the generous offer. Her mama insisted on the shoes she wore that night. They were popular in Paris and, as such, she had to wear them. They were rather uncomfortable, yet Y/N didn't have a choice.

She stood up as well, yet her heel was stuck in the soft ground below. The soil must have been wet from the fountain. Y/N almost fell until Lord Debling grabbed her waist and brought him close. Her hand rested on her chest to steady herself. She thanked him and managed to get the heel unstuck from the ground.

Her mother's loud gasp caught their attention. Before them stood Y/N's mother, sister, and a couple of the worst gossipers in the ton. Her mama's eyes were wide as if she had seen a ghost. Her hands covered her mouth in shock. She witnessed Lord Debling with his hands on her daughter. Wanda's plan couldn't have been any smoother.

Lord Debling removed his hands immediately. He stammered and turned to Y/N. She certainly wasn't expecting this as well. They had been caught red-handed in an uncompromising position.

"Lord Debling," her mother seethed. She acted almost too disgusted to speak. "What are you doing in the gardens with my daughter alone?"

Lord Debling cleared his throat. "We were simply enjoying the peace and quiet away from the ball. She was-"

"Do not blame her. My daughter knows to come get her mama when she wishes to leave. She is an innocent girl, Lord Debling, an innocent girl that you wished to take advantage of," Wanda accused while pointing at him. She turned to get the reaction from the crowd. They were as shocked as she pretended to be.

"Mama, he didn't do anything to me. We were going to go back inside. Please believe me," Y/N begged.

"I have done nothing but been a proper gentleman to Miss Y/N," Lord Debling defended.

"A proper gentleman? I saw your hands around my daughter's waist the moment I turned the corner with my own eyes. If her father was alive, he would have your head,"

"This is a scandal!" Daisy declared.

The others in the group looked at each other and nodded. Y/N shook her head. This wasn't happening. No one was supposed to catch them out here. She knew her mother and older sister would never allow her to reject the Lord's proposal.

"A marriage," an older man announced suddenly. "Lord Debling must marry the girl to avoid a scandal and keep her honor,"

"No!" Y/N called out. "Mama, please, the Lord and I are just friends. My shoe was stuck. I would never do anything to sully our good name,"

"If this man has any honor, he would do the right thing and marry her," a lady protested.

Lord Debling turned from the crowd to Y/N. Tears poured down her cheeks. She looked so hopeless. Shaky breaths racked her body. He wasn't sure what scared her more: the possibility of a scandal breaking out or marrying him. He did the only thing that he thought would save Y/N from ruin.

"I will marry Miss Y/N if she will have me," Lord Debling assured the crowd. The attention was back on Y/N.

Y/N looked at her mother. The look in her eyes frightened her. There was no way she could reject the man for a second time that night and expect to live. She gulped down a sob and turned to him.

"I will be delighted to marry you, Lord Debling," she told him without looking at him. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked away. He wished he could do anything to comfort her, but now they were under a microscope.

"Wonderful," her mother clapped her hands together. "I will start with the preparations right away. Don't fret my dear Y/N. Mama knows best,"

[iguana-eyanna]

To Miss Laurant... Pt. 1

Pairing: Lord Alfred Debling x Reader

Summary: What happens when two souls who had not found love find it within each other?

a/n: okay a bit late on watching bridgerton (don't come at me please) but I feel like Debling is a well written character and would love to see him more so mwUAH! I also wanted to give the reader a name so the last name is Laurant.

"There, one of my greatest works!" Madame Delacroix said as she finished the hem of your dress.

You admire the beading by your sleeves and how it flows by the end of your gown, which was also adorned by a cape.

"It's just us, Genevieve. You can lose the accent" You said, looking back at your childhood friend.

"Oi. I have to keep appearances, you'll never know who'd walk in those doors." She said in her regular voice. You both laugh as if you two haven't seen each other since your family moved to France. You then became a traveling performer, singing for the largest of crowds and now back home to sing for the biggest event.

"I still can't believe you're back home, and performing for the queen no less. Are you nervous?" She asks.

You press your hand on your stomach, feeling the butterflies.

"Very. I never sang for royalty before. I thank Lady Danbury for opening her home to me for my stay and offering counsel on how to approach her majesty."

"Well, the bachelor's will swoon by your talent, wit, and beauty for tonight." Madame Delacroix, she said, kneeling by the end of your dress to fix a hem.

"I'm afraid that's where you lose me Gen. I faced too many heartbreak in my life, sometimes I don't believe in the words I am singing."

Genevieve tsks at you and rises up, placing her hands by your shoulders.

"You shan't forsaken your passion for love. Who knows, maybe you shall meet a certain suitor tonight."

"Perhaps..." You said, looking back at the mirror, unsure that you believe in the feeling.

+

"My Lord, welcome back home." an older man said, offering his assistance to Lord Debling.

"Only temporary Buford, I do wish things do recover." Lord Debling replied, as he looks down at his cane.

Upon his mission to save a rare mammal during an unforgiving snowstorm, Lord Debling lost his footing on a weak stone by the side of a cliff and fell 20 feet down. It was remarkable that he survived the fall, but he broke his leg and he had scars around his face and torso from the turbulent fall.

His crew helped him find the nearest physician and was told he must return home to recover for the sake of his health. With much dismay, he returned back to Mayfair, hoping he could leave to complete his mission.

"Yes sir, a speedy recovery you shall have." Buford replied as he helped the Lord get into his carriage.

They rode off to the estate, where Lord Debling looks outward to the town. He accidentally made eye contact with a few townspeople and they began to whisper. The Lord whipped the small curtain closed and inhaled, catching his breath.

"Your return has spread quickly here, they've said you've cheated death." Buford said with caution.

"What I've cheated on was my mission. If I'm not back by the end of this season, the creatures would not survive the rest of the winter." Lord Debling said.

"Of course sir, my apologies. If you like, I can provide on the latest news since your last visit."

"I suppose that wouldn't hurt."

"Well, the queen is having a ball at the palace. You did also receive an invitation."

"I do not wish to entertain anyone for the matter, Buford." the tired Lord replies.

"If I may speak freely, you have not been seen in ages, my Lord. I believe some live entertainment shall lift your spirits momentarily."

The Lord ponders for a moment.

"Well, I guess I shall use my night wisely. Thank you for your counsel, Buford. Live entertainment you said?"

"Yes, a singer. She's an accomplished musician who's toured around the Americas, Asia, and Europe. I have her flyer here." Buford offered a folded paper to the Lord.

Alfred Danbury looks fondly, reading out loud your last name.

"Laurant?"

"Are you familiar with her?" Buford asks.

Lord Debling shakes his head no as he folds back the paper.

"No, I'm afraid not." He replied as opens back the window, looking outward.

As the night arrived, Lord Debling felt like he was out of practice around the high society. People often shared condolescences on his accident and women would near him, they're faces would be etched with pity.

He wanted to crawl out of his skin and be in the confinement of his home. It was like the walls of the room was closing in and rushed out as fast as he could. He slowly took off his coat and vest, leaving on his white button shirt.

He managed to get by the gardens and sat down, hissing as the ache in his leg was acting up. He drops his clothes and cane to the side and tends his knee, closing his eyes.

"Are you alright?" a soft spoken voice is heard.

He opens his eyes and faces you, as you sat in your plain dress by the quiet fountain that were etched with baby angels.

"I wish I could stop hearing that." He grumbles to himself.

"I'm sorry for asking." You said, huffing as you turned away.

Lord Debling felt horrible as he straightens up as best he could.

"Forgive my manners, all night I've been consoled and pitied for. I do not wish to feel like a wounded creature." He says, showing his cane.

You turn your head towards him again. You bow your head, understanding.

"It's alright, my apologies for striking a sour chord."

Lord Debling couldn't help but laugh and cracked a smile, a manner he has not done since his accident. He offers you a seat by him and you obliged.

"What is a maiden as yourself outside for?" He asks.

You struggle to find the right words and looked at him with kind eyes.

"This is my first ball, I was afraid I'd make a fool of myself."

"It's impossible, I do not know you well but you carry yourself with such poise." Lord Debling says.

You couldn't help chuckle, not believing his words.

"We must not let fear get to us tonight. Life is too short to squabble in the mist of doubt."

Lord Debling was beguiled of your wisdom.

"Well said, miss..." he trailed on, not getting your name.

You were about to reply till the bell tower rang.

"Oh no, I'm late!" You said, grabbing your dress and quickly running off.

"But wait, I don't know your name!" Lord Debling said, getting up.

You turned towards him, screaming out your name.

"What is yours so I may remember?"

He was about to say his title, but he stopped. You seemed so free from high society, he didn't know who you were or what your ranking was. He just saw you for, well you.

"Alfred!" He yelled back.

"We shall meet again, Alfred." You said, before running off.

Lord Debling placed his hand on his heart, feeling it race like gazelles.

He had kept his heart from ever loving something more than protecting the innocence of wildlife, and yet, you ran away and he longed for your presence once more.

He placed his outer garments, grabbed his cane and walked with purpose back at the ball, trying to find you in the sea of people. Soon, the floor cleared and an announcer walked on the platform.

"Our dearest guests, we have brought you a special talent for tonight. As she prepares to travel to the pacific this summer, she has graced us with her voice for this season. I present to you, Miss Laurant!"

Everyone cheered and a figure slowly walked onto the platform, with an almost glowing dress that illuminated more by the lights. She looked outward to the crowd, afraid with those memorizing eyes.

That's when Lord Debling knew it was you.

You looked upward to the queen, as she gave you grim look of disappointment. You looked away and tried to find peace in your stirring mind. That's when you made eye contact with a familiar face.

Alfred.

He shook his head to you, almost indicating that you had enough courage to go on.

You straighten upward and faced the orchestra by the side and you began to sing.

Lord Debling stood like a statue. Your voice captivated his ears like a songbird, and he was too afraid to move in fear you would stop.

You didn't leave your gaze on Alfred, as he was your anchor through the storm that filled your head with dread. For once in your life, you begun to understand the words you've sung about love. Something ignited you, and it was proven as there was a roar of applause that was for your performance.

You look back at the queen and she nodded in approval, smiling contently. You bow in her presence and left the platform.

The orchestra resumed the delightful tune of dance as you were congratulated by the court. Lady Danbury walked up to you, beaming with pride.

"My dear, I understood you've sung for a living but I underestimated that voice. Do not let me doubt you again." She says lively.

"Oh, you're too kind, Lady Danbury. It is you I have to share gratitude for. Thank you for having me into your home."

"Anytime, my dear. I also bring good news, her majesty is requesting a private audience with you during your stay here."

Your mouth dropped into an 'O' and you hugged Lady Danbury, then a split second letting go as you straighten yourself.

"Apologies, but this news has elated my mood of late. Thank you." You said, as Lady Danbury just gave you a beaming smile.

She was about to say something until something caught her eye. "It seems you have made an impression to a particular someone."

You don't understand what she's saying until you see Alfred, now dressed formally. He walks towards you two and bows his head.

"Lady Danbury, it's a pleasure to see you tonight. Miss Laurant, I did not expect you were tonight's performance."

"You two know each other?" Lady Danbury asks.

"Br-Briefly. We exchanged words by the garden." You said, confused as you thought Alfred was a footman of sort, but dressed similar to those in the court.

"I was blown away by your performance tonight, Miss Laurant. Perhaps when I am in the best of health, I can escort you to the dance floor sometime."

"Lord Debling, I thought you never dance at balls." Lady Danbury teases making him chuckle.

"Lord?" You ask, your eyes wide.

"I am sorry if I did not share my title at the time-" Lord Debling tried to explain but you took a step back.

"Lady Danbury, I must rest before meeting her majesty this week. Thank you both for your kind words, but I must go." You bowed before you left them in confusion.

"Did I offend her honor? I did not know my title would have her leave." Lord Debling asks, feeling as if he'd hurt you.

Lady Danbury could see his sincere features and tried consoling him.

"It is not you, my Lord. Before Miss Laurant arrived to London, she has told me she has had a troubled past. It appears you may have reminded her of something that she can't escape."

Lord Debling could only look at the direction where you left, wondering if you were alright.

Soon, you hailed a carriage and traveled to Lady Danbury's residence. You sank by the wall and began to cry, holding yourself for some comfort.

You thought Alfred was like you, free from title and expectations. You thought that maybe, you could love him.

But you can't give your heart to a Lord,

not again.

To be continued...

[storiesaplenty]

Bridgerton: Christmas 2024

This has not been proofread. Please enjoy though.

Warnings: none. Fluff

WC: 329

©️ storiesaplenty 2024: do not repost or translate my work. This is the only place I post my work.

"Alfred, where are you taking me?" I giggled as I looked back to see if anyone was watching us leave by ourselves.

They most likely are but at this very moment, I do not care. Not when we have done our courtship and are due to be married in two weeks time.

"I found something wonderful. I must show you." With how excited he is, it has to do something with a plant or maybe an animal.

We finally stopped, just under the door frame of the library of my cousins home.

"What is it? I do not see anything." I asked him as I looked around.

"Look up my dear." He softly said to me, and I did as he asked.

"Mistletoe?" I inquired.

"Yes my dear. Mistletoe is a semiparasitic plant that grows on trees and shrubs, extracting water and nutrients from them." I placed a single, gloved finger against his lips.

Alfred's eyes crossed when he looked down, making me giggle once more, before looking me in my eyes.

"Hmm, and why did you bring me here?" I asked playfully.

"To kiss you." He said against my finger, wrapping his hand gently around my wrist and pulling my hand away from his face.

"Well, by all means my Lord Debling, please kiss me." I whispered as he leaned in to kiss me.

We have only kissed a few times and he still makes me feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest each and every time.

He kissed me gently before deepening it. My arms wrapping around his neck, trying to pull him closer.

Until we heard people walking down the hall, our way.

I stepped back, breaking the kiss.

"We should be heading back." I said to him.

"How about I take you home? I know your mother must be tired." Alfred held our his arm for me to take, and I did, thinking back our kiss we just shared.

Taglist: @madhatterbri

Benedict Bridgerton ♥︎ Colin & Penelope

[redroses07]

season 3 part 1 in a nutshell

[grace-williams-xo]

Comment from @pluto-pepsi on this post of mine, re point 11.

I lowkey want Anthony to be mad in “Penelope has no male relatives so I guess the duty of beating the shit out of my brother for ruining her engagement falls to me” kind of way

“Why do I have it on good authority that Penelope Featherington was about to accept a proposal from Lord Debling, until you ruined it?” Anthony yelled, marching into Colin’s study angrily. Kate followed him, resigned.

“Anthony! Kate! When did you get back?” Colin asks, not put off by his brother’s attitude.

“That is hardly relevant,” Anthony snaps.

“The ship arrived yesterday, but we stayed at an inn. We have only returned to Mayfair today,” Kate explains, moving to sit on an armchair. She has mostly given up trying to calm down her husband.

“Lord Debling is not important anymore brother, Penelope and I are betrothed,” Colin sighs, a small smile between smug and fond settling on his features.

“You are what?! Since when?!”

“In fact, I am surprised that whatever informed you of her ill fate with Lord Debling did not also tell you of our engagement,” Colin shrugs.

“You cannot propose marriage without my approval, Colin. I know the Featherington estate has been unfortunate lately. Does she even have a dowry?” Anthony seethes, nostrils flaring.

“A dowry should not matter—“

“But—“

“Anthony,” Kate interrupts their squabble, her voice gentle but exhausted. His neck immediately snaps to look at her. “Colin has been fond of Miss Penelope for some time now. You should consider this while we rest from our journey.”

“You are right.” Anthony huffs, always obedient of his wife, and walks out of the room with a sigh. Colin sends Kate a grateful look as they exit. “BENEDICT!”

“Anthony,” Kate all but groans. This is not what she meant when she said they should rest.

“Brother! You have returned!” Benedict grins, bounding up the stairs.

“How could you let our brother propose marriage to a woman who was for all intents and purposes engaged to someone else?” Anthony asks sharply.

“I do not think she was,” Benedict says confusedly.

“I have heard otherwise. It is my duty to rectify this.”

“Rectify it how? They are already engaged to be married, and you are not the guardian of either of them,” Benedict points out in disbelief.

“Miss Penelope is without a male guardian, so I must do what I can and must to control the Colin of it all,” Anthony replies matter-of-factly

“Anthony,” Kate says, voice sterner than before, “I said we should rest.”

“This is not over,” Anthony scowls.

[penspolin]

POLIN JEALOUSY/ADVICE ONE-SHOT

Colin fights his jealousy after watching Penelope and Lord Debling dancing together at a ball, is teased by Benedict, and seeks advice from Violet.

The silver beads threading Penelope's hair seemed to glow like tiny moons. If he'd had parchment and pen, Colin might've noted the perfect juxtaposition of fiery red locks and sparkling silver. He noticed everything--the way her dress swayed so effortlessly against the floor despite her stiff grip on Lord Debling. Was it only Colin's imagination, or did her gloved fingertips hover an inch from his shoulders?

…perhaps he was only imagining it. He reminded himself that Penelope's stiffness was for the sake of propriety. Of course she’d want to touch Debling. He was a gentleman, for one, and even Colin had to admit that he had his own upper-class swagger. A little posh for Colin’s tastes, but from the looks being cast his way across the ballroom floor, Colin knew the lord had made a lasting impression on this season’s eligible debutantes.

Colin hastened for a sip of wine, only to discover that he had drained his glass. He turned away as a certain red-headed beauty twirled across the floor (more gracefully than he had ever allowed himself to notice). He nearly dropped his glass as he struck Benedict in the chest.

“Steady there, brother,” Ben said, putting a hand against Colin’s heaving chest. “What’s the hurry?” He cast a glance over Colin’s shoulder, and the pieces seemed to fall into place. “I’ll say, your friend seems to be enjoying herself. If ‘enjoying yourself’ is best expressed by a scowl, that is.” He tipped his glass. Colin shot him a glare, even though his heart lifted a bit at this last sentiment.

“Oh, don’t be such a grouch,” Ben said, pushing his glass into Colin’s available hand. “While you’re at the table, fetch me another drink, won’t you?”

“I’m not your waiter,” Colin huffed, stifling the urge to turn back to the dance floor once more. It was like an itch, only scratching it burned like a rash.

“You could do with a break. Somehow my ‘sturdy’ little brother has spent the night looking quite pathetic in the corner.”

“I’m not pathetic,” Colin said, and pain tightened his chest. 

Ben rolled his eyes, still looking across the dance floor. “Say, maybe I ought to have a word with this Debling fellow. See if his eye for art is as keen as his eye for a wife.”

“Give him my best,” Colin grumbled, sounding more pathetic by the second.

Benedict gave him a sturdy pat on the shoulder. “And you, give Ms. Featherington your best while I do it. Now, hurry along now and get those drinks before the dance is over.” With a wink, he rejoined the sea of lords and ladies.

Colin gazed across the open floor once more. The waltz was approaching its conclusion. Pen’s hair looked on fire in the torchlight. His mind wandered to the fragments of a dream—Pen in the garden, her eyes twinkling a magnetic blue, her lips a luscious pink. He had leaned in just enough to catch the scent of her hair—like the wisteria garden, only…newer, fresher, somehow, and then—

“Colin, dear. Are you feeling alright?” His mother’s voice stopped him in his tracks. Her brow furrowed, and he hurried to right himself, as he had taught himself to do long before Penelope had pounded her way into the forefront of his mind.

Some things, it seemed, had not changed. He had a guard up, and even his beloved mama could not crumble it.

“Very well, mother,” he managed, swaying slightly on his feet. “Merely...looking for a refill.”

“Not feeling up to a waltz tonight, I take it?” The look she gave him suggested she knew there was a particular reason for it—Colin was not one for skipping dances. 

He had been avoiding his mother, he realized. Was that a flicker of hurt in her eyes? More than his brothers or sisters, Violet Bridgerton had always had an eye out for these things. And if that was the case, should he not be using her knowledge to his advantage?

“Mother,” he began, aware of the blush suffusing his cheeks. “Forgive me, I know we are in company, but I must ask. Do you believe the best foundation for love is friendship?”

She smiled, crinkling the skin around her eyes. Lovely eyes, so open and trusting. He suddenly hated himself for having avoided her, even if it was unintentional. Perhaps it was because of this conversation that he had kept himself from her. 

And something told him that she knew this as well as she whispered, “I think you already know the answer to that.”

[syraxnyra]

We need fan fictions for Lord Debling from bridgerton!!!

[peachykween97x]

Another S3 inspired edit. When Colin's jealousy starts to become obvious Lady Danbury points it out to Anthony and Benedict.

[phantomstatistician]

Fandom: Bridgerton

Character: Cressida Cowper

Sample Size: 490 stories

Source: AO3

[theworldofotps]

The Lord's Lady (Part One)

Pairing: Lord Debling x Reader Word Count: 950 Description: The first time you laid eyes on Lord Debling

Massive thank you to @madhatterbri who came up with the basic idea for this story and some of the dialog I appreciate you more than I can say! ___________ You were always a dutiful daughter, doing everything asked of you by your parents. Even deciding to care for them in their older age rather than looking for a husband after your first year on the marriage mart. Everyone in the ton remarked on how thoughtful you were, while others whispered how foolish it was to chose to be a spinster. You parents had maids and such to care for them, but you were insistent that it be you. As an only child they gave you everything your heart desired if they possibly could.

It wasn’t often you attended balls without your parents, but the most recent one was being held by Lady Danbury. Your best friend Lucille invited you along with your cousin to attend with her family when your parents decided to stay in for the night. You were given permission so long as the two of you stayed close near Lucille’s parents, which you readily agreed.

As always, the ball was a stunning event, everything was picture perfect right down to the littlest detail. All of ladies in gorgeous gowns while the gentlemen were dressed in their best attire. Staying close to Lucille and your cousin, the three of you chatted in hushed tones watching the dancing.

Letting your eyes drift around the room you spotted a man standing over by a large statue observing it. He was completely oblivious to the many a female gaze upon him as he enjoyed his drink and the art picture he was looking at.

“You should go and speak with Lord Debling”

“What?”

Looking at your best friend who gave you a slight nudge from behind a smile on her face. Your cousin had stepped away for a moment to freshen up, so it was just the two of you.

“I couldn’t possibly go speak with him Lucy I was just admiring his outfit the colors are so rich.”

“Y/n, I know of you better than any other and I know you were not merely looking at the Lord’s attire. He’s into nature, the likes of which I know you enjoy some besides how often are you out and not caring for your parents? It will hurt not a thing if you were to go and speak with him.”

“I’m uncertain.”

“Then accompany me over to speak with him.”

Your arms linked as the two of you aimlessly wandered the ball soon making your way to where Lord Debling stood admiring a painting. “Good evening, Lord Debling.”

Lucille said in a soft two your breath catching when you got a full view of his face, a polite incline of his head.

“Good evening, Miss Lovett, and forgive me miss for I know not your name.”

“Good evening my Lord I’m Y/L/N.”

Bowing your head in greeting the three of you became engaged in a conversation regarding the painting.

“Forgive me for interrupting you my lord but my mama is searching for me I shall return in just a moment.”

Turning towards your friend, she insisted you stay and that she would be right back so hesitantly you agreed.

“I don’t believe I’ve seen you around here before.”

“You would be right my lord I usually only attend with my mama and papa, but they stayed in tonight. I’m here with the Lovett family and my cousin, it’s not my usual scene to be honest with you.”

A soft heat rising to your cheeks when you realized how quickly you were speaking.

“My apologizes I know not why my mouth ran away from me.”

“That’s alright I find it refreshing to hear one’s thoughts unhinged and honest.”

The soft smile he gave caused an eruption of butterflies to fill your stomach as he asked you about your family. Lucille stood afar watching with delight as she observed yourself and Lord Debling chatting, when your cousin returned, she frowned.

“Where’s y/n?”

“I left her with an eligible bachelor someone who will hopefully see her for the wonderful person she is.”

“Oh really who may that be?”

“Lord Debling.”

“Do not jest me Lucille.”

“I do not jest he’s a good man who could provide y/n with the future she deserves, I’ve heard round the ton of his kindness and wealth. She’d be set for all the rest of her days should she and Lord Debling ever become an item.”

“Her parents have expressed we stay away from him ever since they ran into him while in the park, her mama and papa will not be pleased. This could very well be her last event this season should they get word of this.”

Lucille turned her attention to your cousin, her eyes narrowed slightly as she watched her.

“Do you not wish for y/n to be happy? Provided for? This is her third year on the marriage mart and she has chosen to care for her parents instead of look for a husband. If they won’t help her then I will, she’s my dear friend and I care for her happiness. I think that could be provided to her through Lord Debling if anything he is a good man, he may travel but she’ll have her peace and freedom to continue carrying for her parents. But with a place to escape when all becomes too much for her.”

Looking away from Lucille’s eyes your cousin watched you laughing with Lord Debling, the two of you both with matching smiles.

“Alright I’ll refrain from saying anything but know this should her parents find out; I will not be responsible for any trouble that comes her way. I love her I want her happy if you think this can happen than I will be supportive.”

[madhatterbri]

Lord Debling Fics

Lord Debling Headcannons - Just some headcannons.

Wedding Night - Summary: The Lord proves to be quite the gentleman on their wedding night. Smut. 18+.

Mama Knows Best - Summary: Y/N's mother hatches a scheme to make her youngest daughter marry Lord Debling.

Special Interests - Summary: Lord Debling takes a special interest in Y/N's hobby.

Wither - Summary: Y/N knows how to make Lord Debling wither.

Garden -

Summary: Y/N often walks with her husband in their garden. A proper gentleman out in public, he can't help the way he feels about her when no one is watching. Behind the hedges, he shows her how he feels. The servants block the entrance to the garden to not let them be disturbed. At night, the maids tease her about the gardens. "He was helping me with animal sounds, nothing more,"

Home - Summary: After coming home from a trip, Lord Debling craves his Y/N. 18+.

[aylasrants]

it is decided bridgerton season 3 will heal my depression

can we talk about the trailer for one second, like yes it took forever to be out but it’s here finally and gosh am i hooked

first of all the trailer opening with colin in carriage??? like netflix and shonda rhimes know their shit, they know damn well what they are doing

and then penelope OMGGG IS SHE GORGEOUS, the ton is so blind to not have acknowledged her beauty before cause my girl have been sparkling since the day she was born

then kanthony being happily married 🥹 i feel like i’ve watched my children growing up and starting their own family

eloise and cressida???? why??? don’t get me wrong i love eloise but she’s acting so petty and i hate it

and then polin saying they are friends bahaha like we believe it, they don’t even believe it themselves

the candle scene where colin seems to be deep in thoughts (of penelope i am sure) and the candle slowly lighting brighter 🫠

lord debling seems so sweet too, he gives me mr darcy vibes and i truly hope he’ll find the one for him

the scene with colin and his mother talking about friendship being the foundation for love and then it cutting straight to colin and penelope being their adorable self and laughing, i’m gonna die of excitement!!!

i also cannot wait to see the relationship between lady danbury and penelope cause i love them both so much

colin waking up from what seems to be a steamy dream (the mirror scene perhaps 🫣)

francesca looks so sad all the time i just wanna hug her :(

and violet finding love again?? hook me up

anyways all that to say that i cannot wait, i am literally counting the days (1 months and 5 days hehe), but i have my finals first so i have to study and then i’ll have the greatest reward of all

[mymultiverse00]

Smut alphabet - Lord Alfred Debling

Alfred Debling does not actually appear in the Bridgerton book series but has captured my attention nonetheless. Let’s see what we can learn about his private life..

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

- Aftercare king. This soft-spoken softie takes as much pleasure in after-sex snuggles as he does in the actual act. He’ll spend hours taking care of you after sex; holding you, massaging any stiff muscles, or preparing hot baths for you to soak in. If you just want to talk or read for a while, he’s down for that too. He sometimes goes months without having a sexual partner so he wants to make sure every second counts.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

- His favorite body part is definitely his beard. He takes a lot of pride in keeping it neatly groomed and the hair soft because if he’s going to use his mouth to pleasure his partner, he wants them to enjoy the sensation of him rubbing his cheeks and chin on the delicate skin between their thighs. There’s just something so sexy about going down on his partner in the morning and being able to smell their pleasure on his face for the rest of the day.

- His favorite body part on you is your hands. Sometimes he goes months without seeing another person and can become quite touch-starved so when he is back home with you, he wants to be touched as much as possible. He will frequently fall asleep with his hand holding yours just to feel that continued contact.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

- Lord Debling is a man of science and knows a wide variety of ways to make you cum well and often. Nothing turns him on more than a woman lost to multiple orgasms and if you happen to pass out from the exertion, that’s fine. He’ll gently clean you up and stay beside you until you wake up again.

- He’s dedicated years of study to female ejaculation. He wants to make you squirt all over his face or chest and is relentless in his endeavors. Be prepared for a lot of experimenting so he can become as efficient as possible.

- If you aren’t married yet he’s very careful not to cum inside you, no matter how badly he wants to. His life is a little unpredictable right now and he just isn’t ready to start a family just yet. If you are married, you can bet you’re full of his jizz at all times. You do need an heir after all.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

- Lord Debling spends the vast majority of his time traveling which makes it difficult to form a serious attachment to any one partner. As a result he has allowed himself to be open to any sexual experience that comes his way. He’s tried it all; tantric sex, orgies, men’s bath houses, brothels, a tent at the summit of a mountain, you name it. He’s definitely a “port in any storm” kind of guy but would never discuss this in polite society.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

- He’s got years of experience and has had the opportunity to try some things most people would consider taboo. He definitely knows what he likes and loves to share his knowledge with his partners.

- He doesn’t mind if you don’t have any experience. He’s a gentle and patient lover and has a lot to teach you. He’ll be very encouraging and give lots of praise.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

- He likes any position where he can see your face clearly. He wants to see your reaction to every touch and caress and catalogs each one the way he does one of his field studies. You are his favorite subject to study.

- Lord Debling is also a huge fan of cock warming. He loves having you in his lap while he works in his office or while you’re sitting out in the gardens together. The constant connection drives him wild and he can stay hard for hours. He’s probably tracking exactly how long and will try to beat the record next time.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

- Alfred’s not really a goofy guy. He’ll flirt a little and tease you verbally before you get down to business, but during he’s very focused and sometimes intense. It’s important to him that you are enjoying yourself so he’s going to be hyper-fixated on helping you cum. He’ll relax a little once you’re all done and will be a bit more lighthearted during pillow talk, but even then, he’s still pretty serious about making sure you’re get enough aftercare.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

- Spending as much time in the wilderness as he does, Lord Debling has very little time for manscaping, aside from his beard. He always keeps himself clean and will attempt to make everything appear tidy if resources allow for it, but overall he’s all natural down there. Fortunately he’s a fair-haired man so even when things are looking a little wild, it’s not exactly an overgrown forest.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

- Intimacy and romance are not something Lord Debling knows well, but he does try. He’s used to quick trysts in the wilderness or paid encounters when he briefly returns to civilization, but once he is committed to you, he will at least attempt to make your time together special. He’ll give you sweet kisses and soft touches, using his body to show you how much he loves you because he knows he could never find the right words. He would never classify himself as a romantic, but you think he does just fine.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

- My guy spends multiple years away from civilization to study birds, of course he’s going to jack off - there’s not much else to do for entertainment when he’s hanging out in a tent or a tree.

- Like with most things, he’s put some study into the art of masturbation and has experimented with a lot of different techniques: breath-play, hands free/verbal arousal, edging, orgasm denial, and you know he’s conducted some time trials to see how quickly he can reach his peak.

- Once he’s in a relationship with you he has less need to jack off, unless he’s doing it with you. He’s probably got a data sheet on that somewhere too- rate of completion with a partner vs rate of completion alone.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

- Lord Debling’s kink is trying new kinks; he’ll either like it or he won’t, so his list can run a little long and changes frequently. Here’s a few:

Praise kink: yes, please! For the love of god, tell this man what he is doing right. (He wants to make a note.)

Sensation play: this little touch-starved bunny needs physical contact with you any way he can get it. Run your fingertips across his bare chest when you’re in bed. Let the soft fabric of your dress brush against his thighs when you dance. Tickle his chin with the feather on your hat when you hug. Anything. Just touch this man, please!

His favorite kink is going to be YOU. He’s obsessed with you - in the most loving, dedicated, non-creepy way. He thinks about you constantly and will go to any lengths to please you. You want to call him Daddy? Ok. Yes. Whatever his little girl wants. You want to be tied up? Absolutely. Alfred’s got a book about shibari right here. Anything you want, just ask. The answer is yes.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

- This one’s probably obvious but he likes to fuck you in nature. The rose garden on his estate - check! The wooded area at Aubrey Hall - just that once but Anthony interrupted. Lady Trowbridge’s hedge maze - every single season for the last 3 years. He’s just as comfortable outdoors as he is indoors.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

- It’s the small domestic things that turn him on the most, things he wouldn’t get to experience when he’s on expedition. Taking tea together in the middle of the day. You preparing his cup perfectly without having to ask if he wants sugar. Getting ready for a party together or watching you take the pins out of your hair before bed. You brushing a bit of stray lint off his jacket for him or straightening his cravat. Being your husband is all the motivation he needs.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

- Alfred refuses to engage in any kind of pain play or blood play. That’s not to say he won’t go hard occasionally or do some light spanking, but he absolutely will not do anything to cause you real pain.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

- Lord Debling is a giver. He’s going down on you as often as you will let him. He can be gentle if that’s how you like it, but if he’s been gone for a while or has had a rough day, it’s going to be feral. He wants you wet and screaming his name and he won’t stop until his beard is absolutely soaked.

- Anytime you want it, he’s there for you; location be damned. There are parts of your home the staff won’t go near if the two of you are together, and no one dares mention that the settee in Alfred’s office has been recovered three times in the last month.

- He will never ask you to return the favor, but is overjoyed when you do. Absolutely loses his mind if you drop down to your knees before him without saying a word, and bonus points if you take him out of his pants without his help.

- Be committed if you are going to start this game and be ready to use your hands as well as your mouth. This man is a pro at denying himself an orgasm and you could be at it for a while.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

- It depends on the situation. At home in bed he’s probably going to go soft and slow. If you’re trying to knock one out in Lady Danbury’s library during a party, he’s going to hit it hard and fast. This man just wants you to be happy. He’s down for whatever you want.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

- Alfred’s no stranger to a good quickie. Do you have any idea how cold it is on a mountain summit? If the urge strikes and you have a willing partner, you’ve got to move fast. No one wants frostbite in their pants.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

- Lord Debling is always willing to experiment! It’s pretty much his favorite thing to do ever. If he’s on his own there’s not much he wont’t do - provided it’s legal, safe, and consensual for all parties involved.

- With you he’s going to be way more careful. He knows your limits and boundaries and would never take risks with your safety or reputation. All new activities are thoroughly discussed and planned before they are ever executed so you know exactly what is going to happen. You do have a safe word, but he hopes you never have to use it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

- This is a man who climbs mountains for fun, so naturally he’s got some pretty serious stamina. He can go for hours without breaking a sweat and always makes sure you cum at least twice before even thinking about chasing his own pleasure.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

- Alfred doesn’t mind the use of toys and if you want to use them together, he’s fine with that.

- He likes to keep things simple though. He’ll use his silk cravat to blindfold you or tie you up. He’ll brush flower petals or blades of grass over your skin. There’s always going to be some new variety of feather he wouldn’t mind bringing to the party. He’ll spank you with his hands, but never with a belt or a cane; he just couldn’t bear to hurt you or bruise your skin.

- If you want to get more daring and try out some of the new devices being used in France, he’ll buy those for you immediately, but be prepared for the “testing” he’s going to want to do when they arrive. Honestly, this man’s favorite sex toy is probably his brain.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

- He might tease you a little bit or flirt with you, but really, when this man makes a promise, he’s going to deliver. Don’t make jokes about “not being able to walk straight tomorrow,” because he will see to it that your wish comes true. Better have a nap, sweetie; it’s going to be a long night.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

- This one again depends on the situation, or really, the location. A lazy day out in a meadow? You can’t keep this man quiet. At the summit of a mountain? He’s going to hold back so as not to cause an avalanche. He’s a moaner, for sure, and probably a grunter too, but what he’s really into is words.

- Lord Debling speaks several languages and spends a lot of time with sailors; so you know he’s got a dirty mouth and can say just filthy things to you 14 different ways. He doesn’t even have to touch you sometimes. He can make you cum with just words alone.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

- He would love to have a 3-way with any combination of the ABC Bridgerton Brothers - for your benefit and his.

- He finds Anthony’s dominance sexy as hell; Benedict’s smile makes him a little weak in the knees; and he’d love to teach young Colin a thing or two he’s picked up during his travels. If you want to watch he’s perfectly comfortable with that. If not, he’d only do it with your permission and away from your home.

- If you want to participate, he’ll let you pick the Brother and call all the shots. Is kissing allowed? You decide who and where. What about penetration? Again, your choice. If you want 2 men absolutely worshiping you, Alfred is all in, and if he gets to be worshiped a little too, even better.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

- Lord Debling has broad shoulders and a firmly muscled chest, toned and strengthened by years of strenuous activities like rock climbing and tree climbing. He has strong, shapely arms and legs covered in a light dusting of hair that could almost be considered strawberry blond, probably due to some long lost Irish heritage. His cock is pretty average, somewhere between 6 to 6.5 inches long and girthy as hell. He has a light tan everywhere on his body and pale freckles scattered throughout. He’d never call himself handsome but you’ve never seen anyone so handsome in your entire life.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

- Alfred’s sex drive is pretty high once he’s married to you. He can have you multiple times a day, everyday, if you’re willing, and he’s never had that before. It takes him awhile to get comfortable asking for sex, but once you find your rhythm, all it takes is a heated look or a gentle touch and he knows you’re good to go.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards

- Lord Debling refuses to fall asleep after sex unless you do it first and he will not be keeping separate chambers. He’s been alone for far too long and he will not waste precious time with you sleeping.

- He’s the big spoon most of the time and if you wake up needy in the middle of the night he’s right there to fulfill whatever desire you might have.

- You can always tell when Alfred needs to be the little spoon. His eyes look a little weary and his smile seems a little tight, but he knows after a few hours wrapped up in your arms, everything is going to be alright.

[faneliansficaloh]

A Lifetime of Happiness

(Ch 1) (Ch 2) (Ch 3) (Ch 4) (Ch 5) (Ch 6) (Ch 7) (Ch 8) (Ch 9) (Ch 10) (Ch 11) (Ch 12) (Ch 13) (Ch 14) (Ch 15)

This is Chapter 16

Read in AO3

Notes

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30 January 1818

Dear Penelope,

You better than anyone on this earth knows that it has not been determination exactly that has brought me where I am today. It was self preservation, mostly, but I thank you for the sentiment any way. I will concede that I was determined to stop harming others with my tomfoolery, though.

You are wise beyond your years Pen, and there are very few people in this world whose opinion I value as much as I do yours, in all matters. So you must tell me if you think I should be worried about Amanda. I’ve noticed lately that she has been trying to care for us in her own way, treating us like her little pets, some times. She admonishes us for not eating our vegetables, and the other night she came in to my little study well after her bed time to tell me to go to sleep.

I promise I will follow whatever you recommend. I learned my lesson that one time I did not listen to you and for that transgression I have paid dearly, so I hope you have already forgiven me. Besides, I believe it was Prudence’s singing that made me temporarily deaf at the time.

Please give Prudence my regards, as well as her husband. Unlike Mr. Finch, Mr. Dankworth has not written to me frequently, so I shall rely on you for this short greeting.

You should be receiving spring and its early flowers by the time you get this letter. I hope you’ve also received the news you wish so much for.

Yours, Colin.

1815 – Flown away

It had been a smaller affair than Portia Featherington would have liked it to celebrate her daughter marrying a baron, but everybody agreed that the ceremony was lovely and the wedding breakfast was perfect. Well, almost everybody.

She had changed into a travel dress as they were to depart for Surrey immediately after the celebration. Mrs Varley had to help her as Rae had already been sent on her way to prepare things for her in what would be her new home.

It was an odd feeling, as she looked around at her mostly-empty room. All her things had already been packed and sent away, and Mrs. Varley looked like she might cry.

“We are all very happy for you, my Lady, the staff send their congratulations”

“That is very kind, thank you.” It felt odd to accept that she would miss this house and the people that inhabited.

“We will miss you”

“I will miss you, too. Thank you for looking after us all these years, Mrs. Varley.” She held and pressed the woman’s hand in hers to show her affection.

The old woman smiled with pride. “I will let them know that you’re ready”

“Yes, thank you.”

Penelope took a last look at her bedroom and taking a deep breath marched resolutely out the door. She was climbing down the stairs when she heard the well known sound of domestic gossip and could not help herself. There were a couple of young maids cleaning up after the celebration.

“Well, I’ll say that for man not in love, Lord Debling is awfully sweet to her” said one of them

“Isn’t he?” The other one seemed to feel vindicated “And the way he smiles when he looks at her.” The emphasis implied there was something special about such a smile.

“In any case, I hope the miss will be very happy” The first maid replied, trying to sound very sensible.

“She is a Lady now, Anna” Penelope could not help a little giggle to escape her at this.

“Oh, I keep forgetting!”

Penelope was touched to hear the maids’ well wishes were genuine, and the validation that it wasn’t only her imagination and that there had indeed been a sweetness present in their courtship, gave her renewed hope that this had been the right decision. There was just one thing that worried her at present.

She said goodbye to her sisters and her mother, who had unexpectedly embraced her, almost making her cry. It was a quick but tight hug, her mother’s hand pressing her almost painfully, and when she let go she put her hands on her shoulders and with a tight smile she nodded encouragingly, as if sending out her best soldier into battle. You can do this was written in her face. Penelope nodded reassuringly in return.

Lord Debling helped her get into the carriage, looking through the window she waved her family goodbye one last time. Her husband sat across her and as soon as the carriage started moving, he proceeded to remove his coat and his cravat. As he did so, he noticed she had averted her eyes to the floor, her skin flushed and a very worried expression across her face “Are you very nervous?” his voice was warm and hesitant.

“I am” He moved to sit beside her, took her hand and kissed it, not letting go afterwards. Then it dawned on him.

“Forgive me, I should have – it is going to be a long ride under the sun. I am not used to travel with female company, I should have asked you before removing my coat. Did... your mother tell you about the-” he cleared his throat “wedding night?” If she weren’t so worried herself, she might have noticed that he seemed nervous as well.

She could feel her heart in her throat. “She did.” She couldn’t bring herself to look at him in the eye, it was so very, uttterly mortifying.

He then wondered exactly what her mother had told her because he could see her panic.

“You do not have to worry. I will not ask you to repeat whatever she’s told you, but just know, we do not have to do anything you do not feel ready for.”

She turned to look at him fully, her sight finally unglued from the floor, full of surprise. Her mother had said it would be demanded of her. He lowered his head near to hers, and spoke softly “I will wait”, then took her chin in his hand and kissed her. And she could feel his smile when she kissed him back and after some hesitation, her hand gently reached his cheek, as if testing something. He then kissed her palm and said “It might be more difficult than I thought, but I will” with what she could swear was a mischievous smile.

It was not the first time they kissed, nor was the one at the end of the wedding ceremony. He had kissed her when she accepted his proposal, but that had been a very chaste kiss, not what she had experienced with her own very first kiss. If she had been expecting it, she would probably have been disappointed, but it surprised her and in the moment it felt incredibly tender and right.

Their second kiss had been very different, her heart had skipped a beat and she had felt it somewhere deep inside of her, it had been the night of their engagement party, and she could still remember the feel of his hand on her neck and her back.

The kisses were perfectly good, she enjoyed them in fact, and therein lied the real heart of the matter that had been in her mind since. It was hard for her to reconcile the fact that she was apparently capable of liking the touch of a man who wasn’t the one her heart loved. She never thought it possible to enjoy kissing someone other than Colin. This was, of course, a good discovery as it meant she wouldn’t have to make her life with someone whose touch she couldn’t bear, but it still clashed with all her notions of what true love meant.

In any case, the fact that she had enjoyed his kissing and wasn’t uncomfortable with her hand in his right this moment, didn’t mean that she was ready for the nakedness and climbing atop of each other her mother had described the night before, as if she had needed to have nightmares immediately before her wedding day. Portia had explained the wedding night to her in such stark detail that she felt she might have been better off not knowing anything at all.

Apparently Portia had felt the need to over-correct whatever instruction she had provided to her elder sisters as it seemed to not have helped them, and she was even more eager to make sure Penelope would secure an heir for the Debling estate than she had been for the Featherington title, so although it was clearly mortifying to her, she powered through and told Penelope all she thought was necessary to increase the chances of a pregnancy.

“So, have you given any thought to who will be your first guest at your new home?” He said, trying to distract her, as she had hardly said a word for a good while.

“I haven’t even set foot there myself yet!” She couldn’t even imagine what this new home would be like. There must be trees, and a garden, that much she had imagined.

“So you haven’t thought about it at all?” She had mentioned she wanted to run her own home, so he expected her to be excited about the prospect of entertaining visitors.

“I suppose it would have to be my mother”

“Will she be joined by your sisters and your cousin?”

“Not my cousin, I don’t think” She noticed his intrigued face “Her husband is so busy nowadays. I don’t think they will be travelling as much” Never her cousin. It was after all, the whole point.

“I thought you would be more eager to have Miss Bridgerton, you seem more closely attached to her”

“That is entirely true. But I wouldn’t want to hurt mama. She does care a great deal for social standing, she would take it as an affront. I have already disappointed her with a perfectly sensible wedding, I cannot add another insult. Do you entertain many visitors?”

“Not many that are not strictly on business, but as the time draws near for the expedition, there will probably be an increase in visits. You will have to practice with your new name, we would not want any blunders, Lady Debling”

She smiled. She was! She truly was Lady Debling now! Penelope Featherington had been forever left behind in Mayfair, doomed to live as only a memory for the few that would care to remember.

***

They arrived in the afternoon, there was still a good hour of sunlight outside. It was comforting that it wasn’t that far from town, although it was twice as far from the Featherington country seat by her calculations.

It was not a very large, imposing building. To Penelope it looked exactly as a home should look. Despite it’s plain and cool white colour, the large windows and the details of the facade seemed to invite one to the warmth of it’s interior.

As they descended the carriage, they were greeted by the servants, all lined up to welcome them. Her husband introduced the butler, Mr. Wilcox and the Housekeeper, Mrs. Donaghy. Penelope was glad to see Rae smiling at her from the ranks as she had accepted to join her as her lady’s maid.

Mrs. Donaghy, the housekeeper, quickly explained that the house had 14 bedrooms and dressing rooms, 2 bathrooms, 3 reception rooms a comfortable lounge hall and ample domestic offices, she went on to note that the stable counted with men’s rooms and there was additional housing for the groundskeeper. The boastful tone Mrs. Donaghy used made it all sound as if she was trying to convince Penelope to buy the property, but it was to serve as a mere introduction of sorts. It was arranged that Mrs. Donaghy would give her a proper tour and introduce her to the staff the next day.

Nevertheless, she now was facing the reality that she would be responsible for all of that, for the people who actually did the work to maintain it and the many tenants and related properties. Lord Debling had assured her that she would not be entirely on her own, there were a solicitor, a business manager and clerks that would make sure things ran smoothly, but she knew that at the end of the day, decisions would be required from her. It was a sobering thought, none the less. Suddenly the anxiety of the wedding night was entirely forgotten, and replaced by an overwhelming sense of responsibility.

“Would you like to see the grounds, or do you prefer to retire to rest?” He was rolling up his sleeves as he said this

“I would love to walk outside for a bit” She was aching from the many hours spent on the carriage. It was a hot day but a nice breeze rustled the canopy of the large trees surrounding the house, inviting her in to their shade.

She was rewarded with a very lovely sight – The ton’s country homes she had visited all had very similar, meticulously manicured gardens, with neatly trimmed hedges and distinct groups of flowers carefully arranged. She didn’t know how to describe it exactly, but this garden made one feel like one was actually out in nature. It looked wild, and seemed overgrown, with different types of trees on all sides, vines and flowers of many kinds but the pathways were clear and neat, and there were benches in different spots. It was charming, and felt full of life.

“We try not to interfere with the plants too much, only where it is necessary for them to thrive or to avoid or repair damage.” She could see he was profoundly proud of this. “It also allows for all kind of small creatures to have a home”

“Doesn’t that become dangerous?”

“Only if we are aggressive in our invasion of their home. From time to time we might have to chase one out of the house, but they mostly keep to themselves if we do not disturb them”

“Like we are doing now?” her tone was alarmed at the thought.

“They are used to quiet visits. I usually sit over here, come” He motioned to the edge of the garden that bordered with the woods at the North, which was on slightly higher ground. “From here one can appreciate the full view of the garden, the house and if one turns around, we can look into the woods. It is a good spot to catch a sight of nuthatches and the occasional sparrowhawk, hopefully not at the same time.” Her face was questioning so he clarified “The sparrowhawk might hunt the nuthatch”

“Oh” Was her only reply and they fell into a comfortable silence while they drank up the scenery, bathed in the warm light of the late afternoon.

He looked very pleased and completely at ease, with his legs extended, one crossed over the other, his hands interlocked behind his head as he reclined on the bench’s backrest. She thought back at how different he seemed now from the first impression she got of him when they met at Lady Danbury’s ball. He had seemed like a very serious, rather stiff man. They had little by little grown comfortable with each other while courting, but here he was completely relaxed, absolutely himself, and she felt there was still a world contained within him she did not know about. She wanted to know.

“Did you spend your days in this spot, as a boy?”

“Not at all! We used to live in Derbyshire. This house in fact is fairly new, I only came into residence after I came back from Shrewsbury and then I went away to Cambridge soon after.”

“Sounds like you’ve lived all across England at one point or another” It also sounded like he wasn’t used to staying in one place for long.

He shook his head in disagreement “I have yet to visit Cornwall”

“Is that intentional or an oversight?” She teased.

“An oversight, I can assure you I do not hold any ill will towards the Cornish people or their land”

“I haven’t been either, maybe we should go together – Once you return?”

He turned to her and nodded “It is settled, then”

“That was very easily agreed!” she chuckled.

“You could have gotten away with anything, you just went really low” he shrugged.

She twisted her mouth “Alas! I’ve squandered my powers on Cornwall” she threw her arms up in fake disappointment.

“Indeed. Next time you will have to actually say Please” She laughed and he was clearly delighted. He stood up and offered her his hand “Should we go inside?” She nodded and followed him.

They went into the house the opposite way from which they had come into the garden, through the door on a bow window.

“I wanted to show you this, before I let you go rest”

It was the library. Most of the walls were covered with books from floor to ceiling, with some smaller bookshelves standing behind a couple of big sofas that faced the very large bow window on the south wall, which meant one would have plenty of light all day long. There was also a great desk that had some maps displayed on top and on the mantle of the fireplace there was a large painting of a nautical scene. She could picture him spending hours in that room, studying his maps and preparing for his travels, writing about his findings.

“It is so lovely!” Her face was alight with joy and his with pride at having pleased her.

“It’s all yours. You can, perhaps, start writing your novel on this desk” The look on his face as he said this was so tender, it seemed to her that he had already pictured her writing there. She felt an overwhelming wave of affection for him. “These are the latest additions, curated by your closest friend” He pointed at a bundle of books tied with a ribbon that sat on the very same desk.

She went to inspect the bundle, untying the ribbon. It was a selection of novels and the Wollstonecraft book Eloise had been so insistent she read. “When did she – why didn’t she give these to me herself?”

“I asked what she would recommend to add to our library so that you would enjoy it from the first day”

“This is perfect, I don’t know what to say! That you got Eloise to do this for you, really – You should be very flattered” It felt like Eloise had finally given her full approval.

“I am exceptionally glad to hear that. I will show you to your room and let you retire to rest, yes?”

“Alright” She nodded

They went out of the library towards the stairs, they made a right on the second landing and they entered a small lounge with a large window opposite the entrance, and with two doors, each in one side of the room. He pointed to the door to the left and said “That is your bedroom, mine is through that door. I believe Miss Rae is waiting for you already. I will let you rest and meet you for dinner” She nodded and smiled as he kissed her hand before making his way through the door they had entered, not into his room.

She watched him as he walked away, his shirt sleeves rolled up, his collar open and his hair all out of place now. She could fully appreciate just how tall and strong he really was, and how his hair now a little messy made him look more handsome than when he had it perfectly in place.

“Miss! -- Ma’am!” Rae greeted her

“Don’t worry, I am not yet used to being a Ma’am. I’m so very glad you decided to join me, Rae.” She mused that she was used to the Lady title in a way, but of course no one had ever addressed her as such.

“Should I draw you a bath? I’ve already set out some choices for you to wear to dinner later”

“Yes, please, I would like to take a bath”

“Yes, ma’am. I will have tea sent as well, as you wait for the bath to be ready”

“That’s very thoughtful, thank you, Rae”

She was left alone with a soft click on the door. She took a look around the large room. It had two windows, the largest one a bow window similar to the one in the library, but not as tall. It was in the same orientation, so during the day it would be a very bright room when the curtains were apart. There was a small desk in front of it, already fully stocked with ink and paper, surely Rae’s doing. A large wardrobe stood near the door she had come in, and then she noticed that opposite the bow window there was another door. She went to inspect it and found that was the bath room, which had another door which would open to the hallway, so it must be a shared bath. She couldn’t help blushing at the thought of her husband bathing, she immediately closed the door and kept inspecting her bedroom.

The four post bed was much bigger than the one she had had in her maiden room, it was dressed in simple soft lilac linens. At the foot of the bed there stood her locked chest. She went to check it remained unopened and sighed in relief. It carried the contents that had inhabited under the floor board at her mother’s house.

A moment later there was a soft knock on the door and a young maid set the tea on the table near the smaller window, which looked out to the road in front of the house. She had her tea and after that took her bath. For dinner, she chose a shot silk burgundy dress with golden details over the deep blue muslin one. It might be too adorned for a simple dinner without guests, but it seemed to her it was more befitting for ending a day of celebration. To balance out she had Rae make up her hair in a simple, low chignon with just a ribbon used as a head band.

His smile told her she had chosen well, he seemed enormously pleased. Clearly he had thought of ending the day in a celebratory note as he was back in his coat and cravat.

“Are you feeling refreshed?”

“Yes, tea and a bath was just what I needed”

As they entered the dining room, Penelope was struck by a portrait adorning the wall at the far end of the table. It was a beautiful young lady of very pale skin and golden hair, enveloped in a marvellous pink ball gown. She was smiling as if she could see something wonderful across the room, and there, at the other end, was the pair portrait of a man. His hair was a darker blonde, sported a thick moustache but no beard and seemed stately as he was portrayed wearing full regalia. He was also smiling, but a little more dignified, even though his head seemed to be slightly tilted as if something were in the way of what he was looking at.

“My mother and my father” He looked quickly at both paintings, but his stare landed on Penelope’s face as she surveyed them herself.

“I see he was a handsome man, but she was truly breathtaking” She said full of admiration. “And the portrait is so well done, I can tell the texture of the silk, and I can almost smell the jasmines” There were no jasmines depicted, but she had remembered that their fragrance reminded him of his mother. He was surprised and touched that she remembered.

Above the fireplace there was a rustic landscape, which barely showed a red brick manor peeking among the trees near a lake, more prominently shown where various animals grazing on the grass. It was a fine work, but it seemed out of place. She would have expected a family portrait instead.

“The red building is the Derbyshire house. It is currently let by Stanhope”

“Is it a very beloved view?”

“Not particularly. In truth, I have not made any changes of my own to the décor. You have full authority on that regard now” He said, as they took their seats. Instead of being separated by the full length of the table, he sat at the head of the table, and Penelope on his right.

“Are you sure?”

“Is there much you wish to change already?”

“Not at all! But I do not want to cause a quarrel later for having moved something dear out of place”

“I daresay, there is nothing in this house, outside of my own room, that I would quarrel about”

She was reminded of Philippa saying that as soon as she took over their mother’s house her first order of business would be to get rid of the ghastly curtains and couldn’t help but laugh.

“My apologies. I was just reminded of a silly thing one of my sisters said once about my mother’s curtains” He seemed curious so she told him “Philippa called her curtains ‘ghastly’ right in front of her. She is not very concerned with the feelings of others or their perception of her.”

“But that could be a very good or a very bad thing, couldn’t it? One should have a modicum of consideration for the feelings of others”

“Oh, she can be mean but I no longer think it is out of any ill intention, and for her it seems at least to be freeing, I think.”

“But should that kind of freedom be at the expense of others? I still think consideration of others’ feelings is necessary”

“Lady Danbury once told me that one could speak their mind freely at any time if one could accept the consequences. I think Philippa has been doing exactly that, perhaps unknowingly”

“But what if the consequences do not only involve oneself? What if what is said only hurts others?”

“Have you ever been in such a position?”

“I do not believe I have ever found myself in a position where I didn’t have the choice to stay silent instead of being hurtful.” He declared and drank from his glass.

Penelope had of course given the matter some consideration already, a thousand times over. “I’d wager that a guilty conscience is a terrible consequence to endure, my Lord. If we were discussing an individual incapable of remorse or without a conscience entirely, then every point is moot. Such a person does not have any reason not to do exactly as they please in any case. But I have not yet met any such person. Thankfully, I might add.”

“And yet, there might be unexplored ramifications, and remorse is not very useful when damage has already been done. Once they’re said, words stay spoken.”

“If we could always take the time to consider every possibility then we should, but life often presses us and action should not be delayed”

He pondered out loud “I wonder what can possibly weigh on your conscience so.”

“That I let my mother choose those ghastly curtains without saying anything to stop her.” She smiled, cheekily and he shook his head, with an amused smile on his lips as she shrugged. “I am no philosopher, sometimes I just follow my thoughts until they unravel haphazardly.”

“I do so enjoy the unravelling of your thoughts and trying to keep up with them.”

She truly wished she could share the full truth with him, but nothing good would come from confessing that her biggest regret had been delaying action because she had considered everyone else’s feelings and the consequences that revealing the truth would bring upon them, and that this delay had probably caused more pain and irreversible damages than having outright hurt everyone much earlier.

That night they said goodnight in the shared space between their rooms. She decided to take him up on his word to wait. Her heart was still fighting a losing battle and the rest of her wanted to give it a respite. She told herself she needed to rest.

Alone in that strange bed, in that strange room her thoughts drifted to Colin, and she allowed it because she needed to exhaust the thoughts that led her to him time and time again. It was absurd that every time her husband touched her, kissed her, and whenever she felt a spark light up for him, she felt guilty. Every time she felt closer to him, she felt as if she were betraying Colin. How could the mere shadow of something that was never a reality, not even a possibility, be wedging itself into her marriage?

Maybe in another life they would find each other again, make all the right decisions and be able to avoid all of the heartbreak they had brought upon each other. But meanwhile, she needed to make the best of this life. So far it had started well, she could see herself being content, maybe even happy in that house, with her kind husband.

She would be alone for long periods of time, but she was used to being on her own, and London was not that far away if she felt the overwhelming need to see anyone. She would be there for the social season at least, as a respectable lady. She had been repeating all of these facts to herself for over a month now.

But try as she might, she couldn’t stop thinking back to the night when she almost let her heart overrule her mind completely. She almost said yes to his desperate plea; he would divorce, they could get married and live somewhere else, far from the ton, far from everything they held dear but themselves, where it wouldn’t matter. She had been stunned. Even after they had kissed, so many months ago, she had never expected Colin to actually believe himself in love with her. It was a scene taken out of her most outrageous fantasies and she was caught completely by surprise.

It had been merely a week before. He had figured out which one was her window and thrown pebbles at it until she noticed him and came down. She had gone to meet him at the back entrance, through the kitchen in the middle of the night. It was madness, anyone could have seen them, in fact she wasn’t sure no-one had, but if they had, they chose to keep silent. She wondered if Eloise had told him that was how she used to get her to come out, but she doubted Eloise would have given that up to Colin.

“Are you out of your mind? What on earth are you doing here at this hour?” She had spatted in a low voice as she lead him to the garden, where the trees might offer better protection against anyone taking a peek through a window.

“Yes! Yes, I am out of my mind, Pen. I have been for a long time now. But in this moment, I’m sure I’ve never been more sane. I’ve come to beg of you, please do not marry him” His thumbs rubbed anxiously against his loosely clenched fingers, his face looked sick with dread.

“Oh, of course! Anything for you, Colin. Will that be all?” She said throwing her head back, furiously sarcastic.

“Do not mock me, please.” He instinctually moved his right hand to his chest, as if to protect his aching heart “I am serious. Marry me!”

“What? Have you been drinking?” She looked at him searchingly for signs of intoxication, while he shook his head. Her expression of disbelief clearly crushing him, she continued “You are already married! To my cousin!”

“I’ll divorce her! I love you, Pen” He took a large step towards her and took her hands in his, his next words soft but urgent, his face pleading “I do, I love you completely, with every fibre of my being, every part of my soul. Every thought, every dream and step I take, it’s all for you. I have been trying in vain to fill this void inside myself, but I understand now, that I will never be complete without you” He reached out to touch her face, his big palm cradling her face, feeling her warmth and trying to assuage the fear showing so clearly in her eyes. “I’ll divorce her and then we can… you and me can marry and go live somewhere very far away, where it won’t matter”

And as mad as it was she hesitated for the longest second, she had allowed herself to get lost in his eyes. He took full advantage of that hesitation to kiss her ardently, desperately and not only did she let him, she gave in completely, even as her good sense started to come in, she just told herself this would be the last time, their final farewell and then she would close his chapter in her story completely, but first she would commit to memory his taste, and the silkiness of his hair as she ran her fingers through it, the warmth and scent of him. They were in each other arms, him pressing her against the trunk of a tree. It seemed as if he knew her mind, for he did allow very little space to breathe, as if he feared that as soon as she were able to speak again, this feverish dream of his would be over for good, all hope gone forever.

When he finally parted his lips from hers and pressed their forehead against each other’s, his hands cupping her face, looking deeply into her eyes searchingly, she still found herself faltering. She had a lump in her throat and she found she was already crying, his thumb tenderly wiping away a tear streak. She just shook her head slowly, a sharp pain filling her heart as she saw his eyes were overflowing with tears as well, as he took a step back.

“I’m sorry. I know--” He tilted his head and closed his eyes, trying to regain his voice “I cannot ask you, I wouldn’t want you to disgrace yourself for me. But I had to.” His voice was broken, as he shrugged “I didn’t expect a different answer, but I had to. Forgive me.”

She nodded. “Colin, I will always--” He prevented her from admitting something that he already knew to be true in his heart, but he felt it would only destroy him hearing the confirmation from her lips.

“Please, don’t” he went back for one last soft kiss “good night, Pen” in a couple of quick steps he was out of her sight.

She never thought having Colin confess his love for her could hurt so much.

Chapter 17 -- Tumblr "clean" version

Chapter 17 -- in AO3 includes an explicit sex scene.

If you read it in AO3, please let me know if you think the sex scene is unnecesary. It is the first time I write one, I was feeling bold but I am unsure of it now. I took it down from Tumblr because it gave me the impression it either bombed or it was not showing up on people's feeds.