#looking thru ao3 rn and finding some things

[shytravelerstrawberry]

guys are there any charlotte x cleo fics out there i am struggling to find anything 😭😭

[kuiinncedes]

bruh

[unhinged-summer-fun]

idle thoughts/writer wregrets (ignore me)

in the eventual book that common grounds will become i definitely need to incorporate "Sol" more deeply into the story - like it's not enough that i say he's their dad i gotta show him Being Their Dad some more especially considering all the [redacted] and [redacted] and of course the [redacted] with [redacted]. and like do i regret not fleshing out that part of the story as i posted it/am posting it now? not really. i look back on it as a missed opportunity really. however i started writing this with the romance as the main thing and i wanted to get it right, so my focus has been on that for the last 125,000 words. if i knew then what i know now about what this fic would become, i don't think i would have changed what i wrote. i have had the most fun writing about the romance and the dynamic between Osha and Qimir, Osha and Mae, and Osha and her new friends at Unplan.

(and on a completely separate yet integral-to-the-story note, Osha leaving behind the kinda paltry, watery friendships she couldn't maintain bc she 1) had no car 2) was injured 3) was/is depressed and 4) had someone else kinda controlling her own story (Vernestra) is like. what i'm really going thru rn. no car, injured, very depressed, and p much all my friends thought i was okay in my isolation because my cheating ex told them i was - but i had no way of correcting that. so like of course i'm not going to focus on the weird dad aspect of the story because it's not Me. and i said this in a post on main but pretty much everything i posted this year but the olympics thing have been me working through my personal everyday issues regarding loneliness, connection, self-worth, and reclamation of my own power and capability as a person. i'm so into writing Osha taking her fucking life back because i'm so into ME taking my life back. but anyway-)

i should never have told my grandma about 1) the concept of serial scrubbed fanfics-to-novel pipeline OR 2) the 1.1 million words i've written on ao3 in the last few years because you can guess what a boomer would have to say about those two facts. hOWEVER. i think that common grounds is possibly the most straightforward novel idea i've had, and idk i don't wanna be defeatist but the chance that someone would recognize acolyte fic is a lot lower than recognizing the last of us fic or star wars fic writ large.

but yeah like how the story is rn i know it doesn't SEEM like the plot is far removed/as involved as it could be (mainly bc i think my audience too is here for the liberation of Osha and the kissykisses from Qimir which we are all valid for LOL) but i think slowing the pace down at the start and establishing wtf is going on w Sol a little earlier (perhaps also burying Many Several Ledes) would allow the story another 50k+ of buffer room & allow the slow burn to burn even slower before the temple goes to theed

i also need to find more like characters that are like antagonistic toward Osha in general - like we have Yord and Vernestra (and to an extent Mae and Sol) but they represent concepts of like 'peer perception' and 'societal perception' respectively - Osha is also her own antagonist in many ways which makes 'personal perception' another angle to attack oneself from.

anyway ramblerambleramble i'll throw this in a document somewhere and come back to it when i need to remind myself what i am writing this for

[facewithoutheart]

6 (librarian / patron) or 14 (didn't mean to honk at u)

I hope you appreciate the absolute weirdness (and accidental angst) of what I’ve written you. Please don’t hate me haha.

6. librarian desperate to understand what wild phase the other character is going thru rn

“This bitch is going through it,” Penny whistles, thumbing to the next page of her book.

“Oh yeah?” I lean into her space but she turns away.

Spoil sport.

I tug at her shirt, annoyed that she’s leaving me out. “Tell me,” I beg.

She laughs, then frowns. “I shouldn’t make fun. It’s really tragic, actually.” Her eyes drift back to the page, reading on, and I sigh dramatically so she remembers I’m waiting for an answer. Finally, she continues: “He’s an orphan who’s been told he can do magic. Only he can’t actually do that, either. Spells require mastery of language and he doesn’t talk much.”

I raise an eyebrow.

Penny shrugs. “Not much practise growing up in care. No one wanted to talk to him. Apparently, the smell of his magic makes Normals hate him.”

My heart sinks in my chest. To distract, I ask, “Normals?”

“That’s you and me, Basilton. People without magic.” She flips the page. “Aww, baby.”

“What’s happening now?”

“The poor thing’s holding his wand upside down.” She places one hand over her heart and sighs. “Do you ever want to just leap into a book and give the main character a hug?”

I lift a shoulder; I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to give anyone a hug. “What are those books called?”

“The Simon Snow series.”

I write it down in my iPhones notes and make a note to check it out soon.

Three weeks later

I huff a strand of black hair from my face. “She can’t do this to us, Penny. It’s not fair!”

Her eyes flick down to my ‘Carry On, Simon Snow,’ t-shirt and then roll themselves in exasperation. “Gemma T. Leslie is a human before she’s a writer. She’s allowed to postpone the eighth book while she deals with health issues.”

I stomp my foot on the ground. “No! She has to release it; she has to.” Tears threaten to drip from my eyes.

“Basilton,” Penny takes my hands in hers, “we have to talk about this obsession of yours.”

I rip my hands from her grasp. “I’m not obsessed!”

She gives me a sympathetic look, not unlike the one she gave Simon when he held his wand upside down. “You’ve devoured all seven books, watched every movie, read all of the 3,492 fanfics on AO3–”

“Not all of the fanfics,” I correct her. Just the explicit ones, I don’t explain.

She smirks like she already knows. “Okaaay. But, Basilton–”

“Call me Baz.”

“Of fucking course,” she groans. “Baz, you need to let this go. He’s just a fictional character.”

He’s more than that, he’s so much more. But I need to play my cards close to my chest. I’d hoped she might come with me, that she might want a part in this journey in which I must embark.

Except she’s clearly unworthy.

“You’re right,” I lie, nodding my head. “Sorry, Penny. I’ll curb my obsession.”

“Ok.” She narrows her eyes at me. “Ok, Basilton.”

Baz, I ache to correct her.

But I don’t.

Some things are worth the sacrifice.

The next day

I draw the door on the floor of my flat, just like the instructions said on that demonic summoning page I found on kenswebsite.giant – the writing was a little simplistic, but easy to follow.

The door rattles then opens, spilling out a mist that turns into a bear and settles in the form of a woman. “Hello,” she purrs.

I flip my wrist and she breathes a sigh of relief. “Oh thank Me. Since we’re both queer, I can just get straight (hah hah) down to the fine print. Sell your eternal soul to me, and I’ll give you whatever your heart desires.”

My eyes widen. “Anything?”

“I mean,” she hops onto my sofa and starts flicking through my Netflix until she finds ‘The L Word’ (she really is a demon), “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t wish Trump president again; the only time in my three thousand years of living where I preferred hell, but,” here she flicks a lazy gaze across my body, “you look like a man of taste. How about this, you tell me what you want, and I give you a number on the scale of zed to crazy?”

I straighten my shoulders. “I want to enter the plot of Gemma T. Leslie’s unprinted eighth book in the Simon Snow series so I can make Simon Snow fall in love with me.”

“Bitch!” She laughs. “Oh my Me that is the best request I’ve had in decades.” She claps her hands and giggles, switching to bear form for a second, before flickering back to woman (and let me tell you, nothing is weirder than seeing a bear giggle). “Fuck it,” she slaps her leg, “I’ll do it. Kevin will have my arse for breaking the Prime Directive but I just can’t help it. What a lark! I can’t wait to watch this unfold.” She tilts her head. “Have you given any thought as to what character you’d like to be? Or is this an author insert sort of situation? A “Your Name/Simon Snow” type of fic?”

I shake my head. “I want to be Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch.”

Her eyebrows fly to her hairline. “The nemesis?”

I huff. “I mean, can a teenage boy truly have a nemesis? Besides,” I scuff one leather shoe on the floor, “I’m sort of… into the whole…” I wave my hand in the air.

“Enemies to lovers unrequited sexual tension thing?”

I nod.

“Mmm,” she shivers, “good choice.” She whips out a reporter-style notebook and jots a few notes down (her fingernails turn into ink-red pens on command). “Now, you’ll probably change the story a bit, but I’m sure that’s nothing you can’t handle. You’re a librarian; I assume you’ve read enough books to have some ideas of how to manipulate plot to suit your needs.”

“I mean, I’ve read a lot of fanfic.”

She beams. “Even better! So, I’m dropping you into the book just before the start of eighth year.” She snaps her fingers and a copy of the unpublished manuscript lands in her lap. I inch forward and she sends a barrier between us with a lazy wave of her hand. “Nuh uh uh. No spoilers.”

I pout.

In a blur, she scans the book. “Ok.” A cheshire grin spreads across her face. “I apologise in advance for the unpleasantness. There’s a few tricks up Gemma’s sleeve that you don’t know yet.” She peers over the pages. “You sure you want to do this?”

I nod emphatically. “I love him; I’m sure of it.”

She shrugs. “Ok. On your own head.” Her eyes close and she breathes in deeply. In a blink, they flare open, glowing red and sinister. “Abracadabra!” She shouts.

“Serious–” My disdain cuts off when I land, hard, into darkness.

“Hello?”

No answer.

“Hellooooo?” I bring my hand up in front of my face and smash it on something wooden and cold.

Oh god.

“Hello!” I shout, banging my fist against what I’m now certain is the lid of a coffin.

“Keep it down in there!” Something shouts back, their voice rumbles like a sack full of rocks.

I whimper, suddenly feeling scared and alone.

And hungry. But, not hungry. Not quite.

There’s some shuffling outside. “Here, give ‘em this. That’ll shut him up.”

The lid to my (yup, definitely a coffin) cracks open and a takeaway cup with straw lowers.

I take it, hoping for water or (because I can’t help but still find optimism in this bizarre situation) a chocolate milkshake. But whatever’s inside smells metallic, and it makes my teeth itch.

My teeth, which suddenly feel more numerous than before.

Oh no.

Suddenly, I’m struck with the memory of a whole thread on the SnowMore website, one that posits Simon’s ramblings about Baz are true. That, somehow, Baz was Turned as a child.

I reach one shaking hand up to feel the tip of my (yup, definitely a) fang. God, I’m so thirsty. I bring the straw up to my mouth, close my eyes and think,

Blue eyes.

Bronze curls.

The fact that Simon Snow is alive.

And I am hopelessly in love with him.

With tears streaming down my face, and this mantra on repeat, I sip the blood and hope against all evidence that somehow, Simon and I can write a better story.

From this prompt ask

[voidcat]

Oh yeah, might as well make another part of 'spoon appreciating (simping for) someone's writing'

I'll just start with the first major problem!! Will you take responsibility of making me simp for Verlaine and Mori?? Like...how?? I am not exaggerating when i say that that would have never happened otherwise. Your writing just changed my whole perception of the two :D and i'd like to ask "how!?" I only ever simped for chuuya and dazai! And now i simp for the boomer-times new roman-cursive versions of the two :,(

What's the problem, you may ask?🤔🤔

Well maybe the fact that my brain only accepts your portrayal of them?! None other!! (I have reread your mori & verlaine work countless times. And i still haven't grown bored of it)

So you can imagine the death grip your fics have on me 😔😔 they hold me by the throat.

And then there is something that I had mentioned once before, but I got reminded of it when I was going through a writing high last week.

The way you write some of the x-reader pieces from the Canon character's pov??? Genius. I know you didn't come up with it, but those fics in particular live in my mind rent free. Looking inside character's minds, and seeing them be whipped for reader??? I just-- I can't!! And it's unrequited love too!!

Une Larme in particular!! What have you done to my poor heart!! >:(

I can't even convey just how much i love the things you've written. 

And when I say that, I mean, you indirectly changed my own writing style!! Which only happens when i read published work and see their writing style as ASPIRING...Who would have known a bsd x reader writer on tumblr will just go and climb on top of my 'fave authors list' ?? Is that allowed?? 👁👁

Yeah. 

Voidcat >>> my faves at this point

And I'll make sure to read A Case Of Bad Luck on ao3 and send you my opinions as actual comments, instead of these (whatever you can call these) asks!! 

The problem with these asks is that I started with just wanting to say what I like about your work, then I forgot to go into some things and had to send in another ask. And now that cycle continues as I keep finding things I have yet to say!!

(So yeah, part three of spoon dumping their unfiltered stream of consciousness on voidcat!! And this will surely not be the last!! the saga continues <3 )

And yes, I shall forgive your treason of doubting me 😌😌

ik i replied in a similar way to one of ur asks before but the fact that i LEGITHAVE NO WORDS THE WAY IM AT A LOSS OF WORDS WHEN I READ THESE?!?!??!!?PLSSSSSS idk what to say other than thank you for reading and thank you for sticking around dfsgdhf ily i May actually cry, im going thru one of my mood swings this week soif i cry its on YOU and You only (to emphasize my point:i rarely cry irl so magine the weight of my words rn... YEAH theyre huge)

and well.... good news ig? bc aqua and i were discussing abt writing a mori multchap fic adfsgxdhf genshin mafia au literally blinking at us rn it took us 6 months jusr to write the intro and we r gonna abandon it for a morally questionable hot doctor whos technically ex military....

and i suck when it comes to recording but i can naybe play une larme in vc one day if u want adfsgdfh i rlly dk what to say abt verlaine, his effect on me was so unexpected too...... i rlly a man suffering and go "yea bet im taking my claim on this poor meow meow now" (the meow meow in question: literally known as the king of assassings,,, but it ok im sweet he'd not harm me... right.....)

and ik i kinda exposed this bit abt myself in an answer to u before but maybe its bc i kinda write these stuff w7o a fic in mind???like as f wriiting smt and slapping a character name later on Or more like an analysis on a character/human and maybe thtas why it feels less like a x-reader fic sajdfdgf (i def opened this blog as 'wriitng practice' bc i wanted t expand my genre of og writings......now look at me still here after a year)

and ido like to tweak things from other character perspectivesbc i think i have this,, obvious profile for a reader adfsgd so i try to appear a bt more diverse. and ilikeexploring diff views if it makes sense:D (like how i cant relate to most mitski songs but i also /can/ bc i know i /couldve/ lived through the same pain, if not similar)idk humans are interesting and w bsd characters, the questioning of your humanity, emotions etc... i guess i just get it lol

and for bad luck i do have all the stuff posted and my links should work now so if its easier u can always read them here lmao

(also..... u can always have me as ur fave author ifi ever make that one idea of writingshort storiesinto a reality and get them published,,,,)

thank you for your forgiveness<333 i'll make sure not to hurt you like that next time ipromise

OHOH waiti forgot to add,, maybe the mori fic kinda hits bc at core,,, dazai and mori are not so different after all. in their few differences, dazai is (mostly) worse than him if we are being honest. but most of the mannerism and behaviors, even that damned smile and everything.... those are all the thngs mori has bled and blended into dazai. as much as the mighty feared port mafiaisactually just dazai, dazai mostly is just actually a copy of mori. (he just appears more charming/likeable)

so yea my "if you claim to like dazai but hate mori, youre a hypocrite" agenda is back again (lets ,gnore how i never mentioned it here before) <3

[andypantsx3]

hi there !! i hope you're doing well :) ever since i started reading ur fics i've just been really impressed with how u keep the quality of ur content very consistent. do u take breaks in between writing each fic? i think u mentioned this in a previous post when u talked about editing fics, but i guess i'm wondering how u keep urself from being burnt out/if u get burnt out! i'm going thru a slump rn so i'd be curious to hear about ur experience!

Omg thank you so much!! That is literally so sweet of you to say, much as I doubt the quality is all actually consistent—I'm looking at you, in cinders chapter two.🖕🖕🖕

Also please excuse how long this got, I have a lot of thoughts on this subject in particular!!

Personally yes, I do get burnt out, and I do find it very necessary to take breaks—from writing overall and from a fic if I'm having difficulties with it. In general, I try to write a little bit every day, but that’s not always possible, and there are times when that’s not the right thing to be doing.

If you were following me late last year, you may vaguely be aware that I disappeared for two months straight between December and February. Like, just let the queue run through and did not answer a single ask, post a single original thought, or even look at my ao3 comments. While I was gone I barely wrote a thing. I think at like 1.5 months into it, I started drafting the outline for subtle, but before that, I didn't do shit except focus on my personal life and hang out with my dog.

At that point I was just tired and I thought I could use a little recharging to get excited about writing again. I read a bunch of books and other people's fics, and reread a bunch of my old fave comfort ship fics. That break from my own work really helped me get inspired again. Since then I've been consciously trying to strike a balance between writing all the time and chilling/consuming the things that keep me inspired to write.

When it comes to taking a break from fics, I do that too. My Hawks fic lay low has been ongoing since December of last year, when I normally finish fics in under a month. I actually really love this fic, but I got a little frustrated with some plot holes and then again with the pressure I was putting on myself to characterize him (like, relax, Andie it's a fuckin fanfic) so that's been on hiatus like multiple times even though we're only three chapters in.

I think it was important, though, for me personally to take a step back from it until I had the energy to address the things that I wanted to, and until I was excited to write it again. I'm actually finally working on chapter 4 (!!!), but it really took a long time to let that bad boy marinate, and I hope the fic will be better for it.

And I did that with statistically significant as well. This was more due to my workload at my job at the time, and I worked on this one over the course of five months when prior to that, I had been finishing fics in 1-2 weeks. But slowing down and writing this fic over like ten times the amount of time it took me to write other fics was a really good learning experience for me. It taught me that it's totally fine to step away from a fic for multiple months, and that you can always come back and finish it later.

I think that's also going to be the case with the new Deku fic, and I'm happy I already know it's completely okay to take my time. I'm sure there will be new wrenches that life throws into my path, and I'll have to get hit by those and figure out how to get back up and learn to duck next time lol.

Anyway, I definitely get where you are coming from, and if I've learned anything in the year and a half I have been writing it’s that it's totally normal to hit slumps, be they long or short, fic-specific or related to writing overall. Burn-out/slumps are actually not a big deal at all if you don't psych yourself out about them.

I feel like every time I'm asked advice on anything I say this (but I mean it!!): listen to yourself. You know best what you need. If you don't feel like you have the brain power for writing right now?? You're definitely right, and you should take some time away to chill, just consume things without producing, or do other stuff in life that makes you feel good.

If you're two months into not writing and you get excited about a project outside of the one you abandoned?? There's probably a reason. Work on that instead, and maybe let your enthusiasm for that project remind you of what you liked about the other one you put down.

And if that enthusiasm doesn't return? Then let the damn thing sit until it does. There are literally writers I follow who stepped away from fics for YEARS, only to come back and post a new chapter like half a decade later. They are always, always better for it.

So literally just listen to what you are telling yourself, and ride out the slump however you need to. Please try your best not to feel guilty for it, or think that it is any reflection on you or your work. They're just a natural part of the process, and honestly you will be the better for having had this experience.

[majicmarker]

so i’ve had a lot on my mind lately — the good, the bad, the ugly, you know the drill. i’m used to the bad and the ugly, but i think (and ofc by my therapist’s rec) i need to give a little credit to the good, too. not to mention the good is largely comprised of people, and those people deserve a sports stadium wave, yk? idk shit abt sports, whatever, but i know what the wave is and it’s like the grandest gesture i can think of, SO

listen, y’all. to get real here, i hate fandom. my time spent therein has been hit-or-miss, but the misses got me hard and contributed to some major self-loathing, etc etc. we’re not gonna get into the specifics, i don’t owe that to anyone, but suffice it to say things got Rough.

but so much of it can be so, so good. and rn i want to keep on my rose-colored glasses, and the rosiest parts for me have always been @kitten1618x and @mygutsforgarters

(quite a few others, too, but i no longer have everyone’s info. and some ppl are newer friends, or relationships that have moved more slowly. i have mad love for u guys too, obvs, but ik melissa and gus irl so we know each other More and they’re who this post is rly about atm. pls know i don’t want to harsh on anyone’s feelings)

the tl;dr version of events is i met them both via fanfic. i happened upon theirs like “bitch!!!! **i** wanna do this, they’re bomb as hell” and then i made them be friends w me. they’ll tell you they wanted to be friends w me first, but that’s not important bc **i** am the one making this post, so they can both like,, suck it.

ANYWAY.

@ melissa : so bitch listen. here’s the thing abt melissa…… i found her while browsing jonsa fic back when i cared abt GOT, and she brought me back to what i loved so much abt romance when i first started, way back in junior high, what’s up. i bad a fascination w historial romantic epics for a loooooong time — those formative yrs, amirite ladies??? — but girl i could never write it so well as melissa. immediately she struck this balance between the drama you expect from historicals and the levity of a good romance, and i was just like, “hand to god this woman must be published already, surely???”

(she’s not, but that’s ridiculous so we’re gonna skip that)

(also she’s busy?? we’ve been friends for like six years and i will never know how many kids she actually has, but the point is she’s a goddamn superhero and i’m obsessed w her, MOVING ON)

i just Had to be her friend for two reasons: 1) she’s too talented, and b) i have said that abt 2 ppl my entire life and she was the first, so i was like, “AH YES MY HOLY GRAIL”

so ofc i slid into her DMs just as effectively as that one guy i had a crush on when i was sixteen and he’s still shooting me texts every valentine’s day bc of the societal pressures i guess (it is Far Less Effective these days, he’s my age and therefore too young for me, gross, but i digress), except me and melissa go way stronger.

she reminded me of why, half a lifetime ago, i started writing romance — bc it’s fun, bc i want to. bc i can do absolutely anything i want, bc who else is gonna read it but me and whoever i share it with? it was all up to me what i wanted to do with it, and i could do anything. nothing really mattered but what i wanted, and i hadn’t felt that way abt anything in such a long time — let alone abt something i used to love so much.

melissa’s writing is so beautiful, it’s everything i wanted to achieve when i was fifteen and never got around to perfecting. and i’m totally okay w that now, bc what do i need to do myself that she’s not already doing/wants to do in the future? when i found melissa’s writing i found a missing part of me — a part i’d maybe lost, maybe i gave it up, idk, but it was totally gone until i found her fics and they fucking clicked. i had to reach out bc there was a part of me that was a part of her, and she helped me find that again w/o even knowing it.

so i found melissa via GOT, and from the start she’d been trying to get me to write some bethyl. years and years, she dropped not-so-subtle hints — and by “hints,” i mean legit directives that i watch just enough TWD to write her some beth/daryl fic. real crafty, she is.

eventually the stars aligned: i was bored w the same dynamics i’d been writing for years, i wanted smthn new, i was restless, i was line editing a bethyl fic she’d written, and — again — this shit clicked. her fic made me want to explore this dynamic i’d never done before, so i watched the prerequisite episodes (no more than that tho, i super hate the show and i’m begging y’all to not @ me abt it anymore). i found smthn that i’d been missing, smthn that challenged and excited me and brought me back around to why i love romance and, more importantly, why i want to write it myself.

so as i was starting to write bethyl, i was poking around the ao3 tag to get a feel for what had been done, what hadn’t, anything i might be missing. and goddamn BAM —

@ gus : this is where u enter dramatically thru a red velvet curtain that i don’t wanna touch (Metaphorically bc you do romance better than me and i’m cool w that bc your talent simply Cannot be touched, and Literally bc i hate velvet) — i was like, “please for the love of god let her want to write contemporary romance, i need some good fckin food”

i happened upon “doo wah diddy diddy” first. ofc the summary hooked me, forget my usual hard no against pregnancy fics (i have issues w pregnancy and that’s all anybody Needs to know, back off), but This Bitch !!!!!!! has a way with words and i wanted to be friends w her straightaway. lmao too bad for her, now she’s stuck w me

gus’s fics gave me what i wanted without having to write it myself. her style is so distinctive, she hits the notes between porn and Actual Affection that is missing from uhhhh, every romance i’ve tried?? (why is everyone so intent on the sex part?? fckin chill. at best it’s unrelatable and at worst u sound like u’d rather wear someone than fuck them, check urself)

she writes w such care, she wants you to know what she’s doing here, and what she’s doing here is combining the physical and emotional needs of both characters w/o infringing on anyone’s comfortability. you root for these characters bc they simply want to be together, no strings (and if there are strings, damn, they talk abt it).

gus makes you believe in love in the modern age. like, not to sound like one of those ppl who post fckin “no one in this generation knows how to love!!!1!!11!!” memes on facebook, those are dumb, but gus’s writing made me think “yeah man, love ain’t dead, it’s just abt how we approach it.”

(if y’all haven’t guessed yet, i have some hang-ups abt relationships. i’ve goddamn earned those. but melissa and gus both brought me back to where i needed to be — in this place where, yeah, we’ve got some shit to deal with, but we all still deserve the things we want, and those things are achievable. i could not have gotten here without them, so jot that down.)

gus is Real, she’s funny, she’s unapologetic in the way she writes. ofc she has her personal hurdles, but who doesn’t?? and tbh nobody writes a sex scene like gus does. physical, realistic, but balanced w the emotional depth that makes you root for these characters bc you can Feel how much they want each other — not just sexually, but in the less-erotic aftermath of that passion. it continues to blow my mind, bc i’ve never seen anyone do what she does. i can’t even pinpoint the specifics, bc she just… Does It. and you’re reading it like “yeah bitch that’s it,” and That’s It.

it’s fckin wild.

these two — my best friends, the lights of my life, both of whom always make me crave chicken tenders at THE most inconvenient hours bc somehow we always talk abt chicken or ice cream or ultimately DQ, but they're both so hot idec — have something special.

i really, really want them both to know that: it’s not just in how they’ve treated me as a friend, but who they are as people, in their creative pursuits. i’ve never known support the way they’ve shown me; i’ve never known this much enthusiasm or investment or belief that i can do what i want with my talent. i want them to know that i feel the same way abt them and their works.

sometimes, when i look back at their writing that completely kicked my ass, i still can’t believe that they’ve become two of my best friends. it’s totally bonkers. they’re This Talented, and they wanna be friends w my spastic ass? GIRL. i’m out.

i’m not always the best at being present, at giving people what they need when they need it. but with everything that melissa and gus have given me in the past few years, i need them to know this — honey!!! i need all y’all to know this, bc i know fandom shit is hard, but you should know some of these friendships are so, so worth all that bullshit, so —

they have so much to give, so much to say, so much to offer. i could not have kept going without them. i couldn’t believe in myself without the faith they’ve given to me. i hope that i can always give that same faith right back.

and that, babes, is what real soulmates are all about.

[seijch]

ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

[franeridart]

Your colors lately are even more beautiful!!! Your art is amazing!

AHHHH thank you!!! so much!!!!!! I have, admittedly, finally been putting more effort into them haha it’s good to know it’s noticeable! ;;

Anon said:My dude, I want to own Bakugou's shirt in that Kamino squad drawing

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy you liked it!!!!! :D

Anon said:What do you think of Kaminari x Ibara or Toga x Twice?

I don’t really have strong feelings about either, honestly :O but the only person I really ship Ibara with is Tetsu, and I can’t say I’m much into villain-shipping in general

Anon said:Have you read Sweater Weather by crispykrimi?

Nope, I don’t really read tddk fics, sorry ^^’’

Anon said:Do you think kirishima goes to izuku and they talk about their relationships?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm honestly, while I realize that Kiri and Deku are on friendly terms, given canon I’d say if Kirishima needs to talk to anyone about stuff he’s gonna go to either Baku, Kami, Sero, Tokoyami or Mina, since those are the people we’ve seen him open up to, in canon! Same goes for Deku, if he gotta open up to someone it’s gonna be Iida, Todoroki or Uraraka :0 well, it’s not like it’s impossible for them to talk about it, but I can see it happen more in a possible future where they’ve grown closer than they are atm in canon! At least imho haha

Anon said:I just wanna say that I’ve been following you for a pretty long time (since the tattoo au was just starting I think) and you’re art just continues to improve and look amazing as time goes on. I’ve always loved it but these past couple days I saw some of ur recent stuff and was just blown away bc it looks so good. Thanks for drawing and sharing ur art w us, I love seeing it!! I hope u have a good day!!!

THAT SURE IS A LONG TIME!!! I’m so happy to hear you stuck around that long aaahhhhhh ;; and thank you so so so much for the compliment, oh my god!!

Anon said:have you ever considered kiribaku getting hit by someone w/ a body-swapping quirk?

I have! It’s a trope I find real funny - but I’ve also seen a whole lot of art/fics for that topic already, would people even seriously be interested in seeing more? It looks like the type of thing that’s gonna come out more or less always the same, which is why I never really bothered to draw out my ideas haha

Anon said:Your kids!au makes me wanna write so bad.

THAT’S GOOD!!! Inspiring people is the best thing I could ever ask for!!!! (...remember to credit back to the post if you use any of my ideas tho ;; pls)

Anon said:Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!!! I love love love looovee the kiribaku kids!!!!!!!!! Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!

THANK YOU!!!! I’m super happy you like themmm!!!!!

Anon said:Hey:) just wanted to leave you a note to let you know how much i adore the way you draw Tamaki. Of course I love your kiribakus and bnha art in general, like your comics, but not a lot of people draw Tamaki and I really love yours:)

Holy smokes thank you!!!! Jiki is actually incredibly comfortable to draw, I’m glad you like my take on him! I’ve got so many unfinished sketches of him.... I should really try to finish those...................

Anon said:so this ask is like,, basically a huge appreciation ask for your comics bc they're cute and funny and they always light up my day!! on a side note: are you franeridan on ao3 bc if so I'm dying thank you for bookmarking my fics

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!! And yes I am!!!! whatever fics they were if I bookmarked them they were for sure incredibly amazing and made my day better so thank you so much for using your time to write them!!!!!

Anon said:may i ask the heights of teenage mako and tai!!

Mako is just a little bit under 2m and Tai’s ~170cm! As things are then, Mako’s a lil bit taller than both Baku and Kiri while Tai is obviously shorter!

Anon said:i used your art for reference. is it ok if i post it crediting you and saying you drew the picture that i took reference from?

Sure, if it’s just for reference and credited I don’t mind! (but if you were using my stuff for pose references may I suggest you avoid doing that in the future cause my anatomy is absolutely terrible you’re just gonna end up making my same mistakes aaahhhhhhhhhhh ;; there’s lotsa more accurate refs around, believe me)

Anon said:please draw more shinsou he looks amazing in your style!!

Thank you! And sure, in the future why not!!

Anon said:Just wanted to let you know that I was scrolling through your bokuroo tag and 1) Aaaah I'm still so in love with how you draw kuroo and 2) I love how I can see the way your art style has improved over time and it's just so nice to see?? Bless your art so much and you're such a great person too I'm cry

SOB thank you so much oh my god, this really means the world to me???? ;; so many compliments holy smokes bless you

Anon said:Hi! I'm the anon that sent you the message about the A Day to Remember song for KiriBaku, and found another awesome song for them - Let Me Be by Escape the Fate. It's super cute and sappy for an alt/hardcore band and it fits Kiri more than Baku, imo, but could honestly come from either of their perspectives. ~SongAnon :)

AH GODS that’s sweet ;O; how come hardcore bands always go so soft on their ballads I cry - I feel it works perfectly from Baku’s pov too, tho!! Let him be Kiriiiiiii ;;; sweet

Anon said:I just wanted to say that I love your art and style as a whole, but I really really appreciate the way you draw Kirishimas eyebrows... like they look so simple but,,, they truly make my day 💕

Kirishima’s tiny eyebrows!!!! I’m glad you like them, they’re weirdly expressive and easy to draw honestly hahaha

Anon said:your art is shit //no no no nonno oo fdjsakfl;d I MEANT THE SHIT your art is the shit fjkdsa i'm so sorry i love you and your art this is why i can never compliment anyone ahhhhhhh //i'm crying omg i saw someone else send a separate ask to someone elase that was like your art is shit but it is the shit and i was like whoaaa how cool but noooooo jfsdakldsfa kms i'm sorry

This was a bit of a trainwreck ngl haha but it’s okay anon!!! It was an honest mistake, don’t worry too much about it!!! Thank you so so so much for liking my stuff

Anon said:Hi erm I believe that YouTuber "AnimeUproar" used your kinoko komori fanart without crediting you and I'm not sure whether you gave him permission. The title of the video is "EVERY QUIRK EXPLAINED! | Class 1-B (My Hero Academia / Boku no Hero Academia All Quirks)" // Same anon as before and he also used your Setsuna art in the same video. The kinoko art had your watermark cut off while the other one didn't but they still have no credit anywhere and I'm not sure whether you have permission. Sorry if you did and I'm just being stupid lmao but it's the same YouTuber and the same video in case you want to message him

If it’s not credited you can be sure I didn’t give them the green light to use it, honestly - but, you know. Whatever. I’m tired. Let them use it. It’s a video so it’s not even like people can save it and reupload it anywhere else. sigh

Anon said:I am like 2000 years late but,, your bakubaby sketches saved my life wow they’re so cute

*cries forever* thank you !!!!!!!!!!!! ;;O;;

Anon said:All of ur art especially recently is just??? Blowing me away?? Oh my god?? I just your coloring and then that fantasy one holy fuck the DETAILS I feel like I can touch it it's so good I can tell you put a lot of time into it it shows it shows so much god it's so high quality I'M STILL !?!?! your art seems to get better all the time thank youuuuuu for blessing us w it it's so incredibly lovely ahhhhhhhhh

I’M SO HECKING HAPPY YOU LIKED THAT ONE cause it really took forever honestly - it was fun from start to end so it’s fine, but, you know, it’s cool to see it was worth it haha thank you so so much for the complimentsss!!!!

Anon said:I love your art so much :') it makes me so happy whenever I get a notification from your blog

I still can’t believe people really have notifs on for this blog oh my g o d ;u; thank you

Anon said:I just wanted the share, that I came across your art in a trash, and scrolled down your blog looking for more, and I liked it so much that I decided to follow you... Only to find past self already did whoops haha. So I liked you enough to follow you twice!

THAT’S SO COOL!!! Holy smokes!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!! °O°

Anon said:I just went thru your whole art tag chronologically and omg you've come so far! Every time your art crosses my dash I smile and I'm happy every time I see it!

Have I? I have!! Sometimes I look at my really old art and I hate it and want to delete it but then I’m like, comparing it to the new stuff makes me feel good about it so it’s still there - that does mean sometimes people are gonna see the old stuff too, tho #rip I’m sorry you had to see that stuff, but thank you a lot for thinking I got better!!!!

Anon said:I love how Jirou's eyes look in your style. (How everything about her looks, too.) Damn, she's a stunner, isn't she?

*whispers* she is oh my g o d !!! I love Jirou. She’s just. So goodlooking. Gods. I’m glad you think she looks good in my style!!!

Anon said:ur momo and jirou are so beautiful!!! 💙 if i wasnt already as gay as it gets id have a major enlightenment rn ahhh

GOSH!!!! thank you so much!!!! :D

Anon said:have you considered... minamomo and/or kyooru

Never before Jirou and Tooru, actually, but I have thought about Mina and Momo and I’m still unsure about where that ship even came from. Like, not in the sense that I think it’s a bad ship, but in the sense that I really don’t understand it :0 why do you like Mina and Momo, anon? There’s so many people shipping it, I’m curious about where it came from! But every time I asked I got no answer #rip I wanna be interested in it, help me understand why it should be interesting!

Anon said:Have you ever considered Aoyama x Sero?? 10/10 recommend.

I haven’t! Mostly cause I generally hc Aoyama as ace, really - but that’s an interesting ship I might think about more :O

Anon said:I finally started reading BNHA again after dropping it in May and HOLY SHIT DID I MISS A LOT!! JUST THAT ARC WAS INSANE??

I know right??? I KNOW RIGHT????? I loved that arc from start to end, no lies anywhere, such a genuinely good arc!!! 

Anon said:Hey fran, I just wanted to say that I like your art very much and that I love to see how much you are improving as time goes on. You are doing great. ♥

So many people telling me that I’m improving oh my g o d it makes me so happy ;u; thank you so so much

Anon said:ahhhh i loved your aokaga drawings, they're the cutest and I hope you make more of them being cute together!!!!

Eek, sorry anon but I’m really not into making content for that ship anymore ;^; I’m glad you still like the old things, tho!!

Anon said:I really wanted to tell you that I love your art so much I can't even explain. It cures my anxiety and I'm not kidding. When I feel down and shitty, I just go through your blog and your fanarts make my day (my favorite ever is your bokuro). The way you put the emotions into characters gives me life, honestly. Thank you for your art

THIS MEANS!!! THE WORLD!!!! TO ME!!!!! Knowing that I can help you like that is such a good feeling anon, holy heck!! Thank you so much for liking my things and sending this ask!!!

Anon said:heyo tell us abt some kami angst hcs :)))) tenk youu

Anon............. love............... whatever in this blog made you think I might have angst headcanon about anything..................... I’m the most fluff person around............

Anon said:That idea you had about making hagakure's costume out of her hair or something like mirio's!!! WHAT A GREAT IDEA IVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE!! You're so smart! I LOVE IT

THANK YOU BUT IT WASN’T JUST MY IDEA!!! After Mirio explained his costume the idea was floating around on my dash a lot, it just made sense to a bunch of us!!