#looking more like Britta every day

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[vettelsvee]

I ALREADY HAVE A WIFE | Sebastian Vettel

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ferrari sebastian vettel x race engineer wife!reader

word count: 3450

summary: seb messes up on a press conference while his pregnant wife is there, and he also has to face a journalist that wants to try have a chance with him

warnings: this is based on THAT interview you know all too well (what are YOUR plans?). curse words, pregnancy and everything involved in it, talks of abortion, mental health issues (fluff fluff fluff)

a/n: this is part of history series (coming soon as is being heavily edited). it was my maiden series so... look carefully between lines because there might be some details you don't want to miss out. let me know what do you think of this pleaseeeeee you know i'm always waiting for your feedback, as well as comments and chats on that anon button please! and also, don't forget reblogs are truly appreciated

© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!

“Rose Benson, for The Times. A question for all three drivers: it’s just 102 days until we’re in Australia. What are your plans now between… What are you gonna be doing over the winter break? 

“What are your plans?”

Everyone in the room was no surprised by Seb’s answer. Laughter started to fill the room, spreading quickly except for two people: Britta and you. You noticed her gaze piercing your husband, as if she were mentally scolding him, like every time she did when he messed up. You, however, just looked at him with a look of disappointment.

She was unsure about what she had just heard, you knew it perfectly.

Seb face immediately turned pale, as if he knew he shouldn’t have said that. As Seb’s not also wife, but also race engineer, you were used to this kind of behaviour and jokes, but today… it just hit different. 

“Seemed to be counting the days,” he continued while starting to laugh a bit nervous. “Can’t wait.”

Max and Lewis, sitting next to him, joined in the laughter, making him laugh even more as the situation seemed to begin to slip out of his control. You were sure that he knew that having you just a few meters away, shaking your head constantly at the same time you whispered something to his PR didn’t bode well. 

“Seb, you go first,” a journalist said. “What are your plans?”

“Uh…”

“Another baby?” Lewis interrupted.

You knew all to well that he tried his best to not tell anything. Apart from your four years old little girl, both of your families, and Britta and Antti, no one knew yet that you couldn’t try for another baby because the baby was already on the way. 

You couldn’t take the risk of sharing the news and then telling people all over the world that you had an abortion, just as happened to you in 2016.

“Uh... well…” Seb stammered, not knowing what else to say. “Quickly done.”

Even though you were caught up in the laughter around you, you couldn’t control your growing nervousness, as well as your husband, and it kept getting worse every time you glanced at him. You crossed your arms, almost falling off your chair, and decided to rest your head on Britta's shoulder. You tried your best not to fall asleep, but the yawns continued leaving your mouth with no shame at all.

“If you need advice I know how to do it.”

Another mess-up.

Britta was already signaling with her hands to him so he stopped saying nonsense, totally overwhelmed not because she wasn’t used to it, but because she was maybe too worried about you. You straightened up as soon as you heard that, and instinctively placed your hands on your barely noticeable belly, thanking yourself for having decided to start wearing clothes a couple of sizes larger than usual.

“Keep pushing,” Max blurted out, immediately drinking from his bottle.

“Well... I don't know how long you two want to stay on free practice sessions, but... if you want…”

“I like free practice,” the Dutchman commented. “I'd rather stay there for now.”

Lewis and Max kept talking to him, but you knew he was trying his best to go along with the conversation.

After what felt like an eternity, the press conference ended. Everyone started to get up and scatter around the room, probably to chat with each other. The season was over, and they wanted to do the usual: say goodbye and wish each other a good winter break. Seb  did the same, with the difference that he headed straight towards you.

You were still sat, eyes fixed on the floor while you fidgeted with your fingers nervously, tears streaming down your cheeks.

You felt like a complete idiot because, even though he hadn't meant any harm and your really knew that, he should have thought before speaking because he knew all too well that you usually got overly sensitive. You had been through a pregnancy together before, and although it was a vast world full of unknowns, certain patterns did repeat.

The constant desire for sex and the hormonal ups and downs you suffered were the most obvious.

Slowly, he approached you and, with utmost care, knelt beside you, placing a hand on your thigh. You didn't pull away as you usually did when she was mad at him, and you saw in his eyes that he wasn’t expecting you to react that way.

“I'm sorry if what I said made you uncomfortable, especially that baby talk. The last thing I wanted to do was to upset you but I ended up messing up, like always.”

You lifted her gaze, meeting his. He knew you were not exactly sad, but a bit disappointed at the thought that someone might have discovered the pregnancy you were trying so hard to keep secret.

“I swear I hate you right now, Sebastian Vettel,” you said, being completely honest and letting the hormones act for you. “You made me feel so bad, I swear, but…”

Your words came out broken, and tried your best to keep your cool.

He knew you stopped talking because your eyes welled up more than usual: you were on the verge of breaking down but didn't want to do it in public. He leaned his forehead against yours, your faces almost touching.

“I never wanted to make you feel this way, my love,” he whispered. “You, alongside our girl, are the most important people to me, and you know that perfectly well,” you nodded, though he knew you doubted it. “You don't know how much I regret not taking care of my words…”

You looked at him, perhaps trying to find the obvious honesty behind his words. You knew he was being completely honest, but once again, your insecurity was consuming you and acting on your behalf.

“Seb, I hate myself right now. Quite a lot, actually,” you revealed in a nearly inaudible whisper. “I hate being pregnant because I feel useless! I'm so bipolar…” you tensed up, though standing and positioning yourself next to him to keep talking without anyone overhearing. “I want to hit you, I want to cry, and at the same time, I want you to take me to the bathrooms and have casual sex like we were teenagers. Do you understand me, sunshine?”

You said that but actually no, he couldn't understand you because he didn't know what it was like to be roughly eight weeks pregnant.

“Y/N, hey, listen to me love,” he said, holding your face in his hands and wiping away your tears. “You don’t have to hate yourself for feeling this way, alright? We’re in this together, and you’re going through a lot of changes. It’s completely normal to feel this way,” he repeated.

You nodded, and even curled your lips into a small smile. You didn’t waste any time and quickly started hugging him and leaving kisses on his right cheek.

But that ended abruptly when you both heard a throat clear behind you.

Britta was standing next to none other than the pink-haired girl who had asked your husband about his winter break plans earlier.

Rose Benson, that Italian journalist who had become one of the best, if not the most prominent, additions to Formula 1 journalism.

“Sebastian, as charming as ever I see…” her words made you cling tightly to Seb’s arm, a bit afraid. Again, your insecurity appeared. “Can I steal you for a few minutes for an exclusive interview?”

Her gaze fell with a hint of disdain on your, as if your were an unnecessary part of the conversation she was trying to have with your husband. Immediately, he wrapped his arm around your waist and started making faces at Britta so she could help him to get rid of that reporter.

As expected, she refused, letting him know he would have to face an interview he didn’t want to do but that it was up to him whether or not he did it. She knew better than anyone what it was like to deal with the media and, especially, with professionals like the one in front of you.

“I’m sorry, Rose. I’m busy.”

“Come on, Sebastian... we’ve known each other for years,” she persisted, getting a bit closer to Seb. “You know it would be an amazing interview... like so many we’ve had.”

You were starting to get upset again. The only thing he did was placing a hand on your belly, and it somehow calmed you, but not for long. 

“Benson, I’m serious. The only conversation I want to have right now is the one I was having with my wife,” he said, calmly rubbing your back.

“You’re disappointing me, Vettel,” she snapped, leaving you both in shock. WYou’re missing out a wonderful opportunity to be interviewed, in private, with someone like me.”

After hearing that, tears once again covered your face. You took a few steps back, slight pushing him and positioned yourself next to Britta, who didn’t know what to do other than wrap her arms around you while Seb was still watching the reporter start scribbling something on a piece of paper.

“Here’s my phone number, Seb,” she said in an overly suggestive tone as she handed him the piece of paper, which he took. “Are you sure you don’t want to reconsider? We could find a more private place, and…”

As she got dangerously closer to him, Seb kept your eyes on you.

You hated how polite he was even though people acted in such a stupid way. 

“Rose, I’m sorry, but that’s not going to happen,” you said again. “My answer, once again, is no.”

“Have you never wanted to explore curves other than those on the circuit?”

“Why are you such a fucking bitch?! The only curves he explores off the circuit are mine!”

The woman’s insinuations had pushed you over the edge. Several people were already looking at you, and you’d swear some were even taking pictures or videos, so it wouldn’t surprise you if you went viral on Twitter that night.

Benson didn’t know what to say or do after your insult, except to end the closeness she had created by moving away from your husband as much as possible, trying not to arouse suspicion from the onlookers.

“Y/N, I think it’s best if we go get some air, what do you think?” Britta suggested you.

“No, I don’t want to go get some air, Britta!” you shouted again, breaking free from Roeske’s careful grasp. You were worried about you getting this upset, but you didn’t care at all. This wasn’t good for the pregnancy. “I want to tell this stupid journalist to learn to do her damn job properly and stop meddling in marriages!”

“Excuse me? Are you calling me a cheater?” she retorted, clearly offended. “You need to learn to control what you say, dear. You’re going to get yourself into more trouble if you keep this up.”

You were getting more nervous than hearing Seb during the press conference, you’d swear.

“Yes, you!” you snapped, moving further away as Britta tried to take you out. She must have noticed how pale you had gone. “Do you think Seb doesn’t have a girlfriend? Well, surprise! He married me last June and we’ve been together for nearly seven years, and we have a daughter, and...!”

The index finger on Seb’s lips was what made you stop from revealing your third pregnancy or who knows what else. Your expression revealed him that, although he had done the best to make you shout, at that moment you only wanted to kill him.

Britta began to guide you more quickly towards the door to get out of there, but your words still could be heard despite the distance with a frustration that was more than obvious. There was a point in your life when you started saying what you wanted, fought for what you believed was not fair, and you stopped being intimidated or afraid of anything or anyone.

That’s what probably made Seb fall in love with you more and more every day, even he actually thought it would be impossible.

When you finally left, Britta handed you a bottle of water and started to calm you down, but you just couldn’t relax. Now, you were still nervous and actually worried about what Seb could be saying to that woman. His body expressions, the ones you were seeing from distance, didn’t calm you as much as you thought, and when she handed him a piece of paper you completely lost it and, once again, started crying, leaning on a wall.

A few minutes, later, Seb approached you while you saw Britta leaving you two some space.

“Hey, Y/N, I’m so sorry about what happened there. I should’ve handled it better,” he started, his voice full of concern.

“Seb, it’s not your fault. She was way out of line,” you said, your voice trembling while trying to calm yourself down. 

He pulled you into a tight hug, your body relaxing slightly against his.

“We’ll get through this, together, like we always do,” he whispered, kissing the top of your head, hoping to soothe your nerves.

His gaze meets your tear-filled eyes. Gently, he took your hands and started caressing them with his thumbs, knowing how much it relaxed you in moments of distress like this.

"Thanks for taking care of her for me, Britta," Seb said, turning around to thank your second mother once more for looking after you and sparing you any trouble.

You wanted to say something to him, but as soon as Seb turned his back again you, he got closer and closed the distance between you two, pressing his lips to yours. 

You ended up forcing yourself to pull away not because you might get horny,because you're not used to showing affection in public unless it's a completely special occasion. The world knows you only hold hands lightly or maybe kiss on the cheek, out of respect for your profession and, above all, so that people see you as an engineer and not just a WAG.

Private moments were exclusively yours, and no one beyond your loved ones and yourselves needed to know about them.

"What's that about, Seb?"

You were too surprised, feeling a wave of emotions invading you. 

"The thing with Rose, or the kiss?" he asked innocently.

"Both," you replied shortly, then corrected yourself. "Sorry, it's just that girl made me feel like..."

You couldn’t continue. You put your hands over your face, but Seb pulled them away. There was no need for you to hide from him: he knew how you felt, and all he wanted in those moments was calming you and making you aware that there was no need for you to feel ashamed about anything.

"I only want you, Y/N," he brought you even closer and started touching your belly again, but now with more discretion. "In this, and a thousand more universes, and beyond life, whatever it is, and no matter what happens, I will always love only you. Just you, Y/N."

"Do you really love me? Even though I'm fat and ugly like I am now?" you wanted to know, doubting yourself as you focused on looking at your body up and down.

He chuckled softly at your comment. You weren’t not fat: your belly was just a slightly bigger than usual despite being in the first trimester because of your natural anatomy. 

"You're neither fat nor ugly, darling, but it's normal to feel that way," he comforted you. "You're experiencing changes, so don't overthink, Y/N. You’re a superhero: you’re creating a whole baby in there"

"But I just... I feel like a bomb of emotions. I feel so... so stupid and contradicting myself all the time..."

"It's the hormones," he interrupted you. "Don't press yourself for feeling that way. Do you remember when you were pregnant with Emily?"

Before he could say anything else, he made sure that, aside from Britta, you were alone in the hallway. Seeing that no one else was around, he kneeled down and brought his face to your belly. He placed both hands on either side and started kissing it, causing you laugh.

"Hello, my little girl. How are you doing? There's a long way to go, but mom and I are so excited to meet you, as well as your big sister, who really wants you to be born just to play with you."

You know the baby couldn’t hear you, but you felt so happy Seb was trying his best to make you a little happier.

"Stop, sunshine," you started saying, taking his arms to make him stand up. "Seb, seriously, get up. They're going to catch us!"

There was no one around, and he even double-checked to make sure. However, he decided to listen to you to avoid making you more nervous. At the same time, Britta nodded for you both to follow her. Seb took your hand and followed her steps.

"Seb..." you started speaking with some doubt.

"What is it, love?"

"Why did you say my little girl before?”

He turned hid head towards you. He saw you blushing and looking a little lost.

"Because I know it's going to be another girl," he confessed to you, leaving you a bit puzzled. "I don't know why, but it seems, and I truly believe, that making girls is our specialty."

"I think it's going to be a boy, but it makes sense: the other baby was also a girl..."

You forced yourself to stop talking. You didn’t usually talk about the miscarriage you had about two years ago, at sixteen weeks pregnant, and although you had made great progress after nearly making an irreversible mistake, it still hurted.

They say you learn from mistakes, but if you had seen the clear signs of the person who ruined your lives and had taken measures much earlier, things would have been very different.

"How about we make a bet?" he commented, trying to change the subject while now wrapping his arm around your waist. "If it's a boy, I'll take you on vacation wherever you want."

"And if it's a girl, like you say?" you wanted to know.

"Then I'll take you to dinner at your favourite restaurant. The one you always want me to take you whenever we go visit your family."

You looked at him strangely, knowing perfectly well that what he said wasn’t really a bet; in fact, it's anything but a bet. Adding to that, his voice sounded so calm that it might have surprised you with his passivity.

Britta and Antti look at you both as Seb helped you to enter the car, as if they wanted to know what you were talking about. You look that he shook his head at them and immediately started laughing.

"And what are you laughing at now, Sebastian?" you snapped at him again as he sat next to Britta. "Are you trying to mess with me, or what?"

"What's wrong with her? Is she okay?"

The whispers from his training coach, who clearly wanted toknow what was going on without appearing nosy, made him laugh even more. He didn’t even answer him and directly looked at you:

"Start thinking if you want to go to Cadiz or Mallorca, and if you prefer a McDonald's burger with pickles and ice cream with ketchup and fries or your aunt's wiener schnitzel."

Your eyes lighted up with excitement. You knew that he was making you decide, but in the end he’ll do all of that, and more, for you. Seb was the best partner ever and took care of you amazingly, especially when you were pregnant or struggling with your mental health. 

"I hate that you know me so well, Seb," you ended up saying, taking some candies from Britta's hand. "But I'm sure you don't know what's on my mind right now."

Of course he did, he knew you too well. You were just being horny, and your face showed.

"Y/N, I really appreciate you all," Roeske began to say as she looked at both of you, "but please: stop acting like you know what in front of us. Can’t you contain yourselves for ten minutes and then do whatever you want when you’re alone in your hotel room? Really, I’ll take care of Emily and I'll even stay all night listening to loud music on my headphones so I don't have to hear you moan all the time. Agree? But please: behave, kids."

[diarioculto]

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY ( sebastian vettel x fem!reader )

notes: hey everyone, and happy new year! that 2024 is a marvelous year for all of you ♡ here’s that piece that i’ve been promising you for all this time as a celebration for 200 followers! thank you so so much and i love ALL of you ♡ enjoy!

you had first met sebastian many years ago, when you were both kids.

he was quite the ambitious kind, always defying the laws of everything with his big desire to be the greatest, mainly in the field he loved: formula one.

you were more down to earth, the quiet girl who spent hours in her little corner, secretly wishing for a more exciting life. that’s why you followed the blonde everywhere to every little adventure he had set up, to every karting competition where you cheered him on and on as the chequered flag declared him champion. even to those playdates at the center of the city, chasing him around the water fountain, where he promised to never leave your side.

but you eventually grew up, the boy now taller than you. much to your appreciation, sebastian still had that childish spirit within him, but much more mature now. deep down, you wished that he was still a kid, so that he could forever stay with you.

especially when he told you that he was moving away.

“ i got a contract. bmw sauber. they want me to race for them next year. ”

you were both at the water fountain, like the old days, panting from running around.

you quickly turn to him, heart clenching inside your chest. sure, you had done bad things over the course of the years but this punishment was way worse than all of them.

“ oh, that’s— that’s great! i’m happy for you. ” you throw him a quick smile, adverting your gaze to your lap, playing with the bracelets on your wrist. sebastian cocks an eyebrow at you, cheeky grin on his face.

“ really? you don’t seem very ecstatic about it, schatz. ” he chuckles at you but you don’t respond, still focusing on your hands as they rested on your lap. the laughter around you quickly dies down, the boy taking one of your hands on his own.

“ hey— hey. it’s not the end and you know it. this isn’t a goodbye. ” he reassuringly squeezes your hand, trying to get you to look at him. you sigh, scared that it was all going to be a lot harder than you could deal with.

“ i’m afraid it is one, sebastian. ”

the whole world around him stops moving. his breathing gets heavier. he feels his chest eating him alive as his ears ring louder and louder.

in all the years you have known each other, not once have you called him sebastian. sure, he was your seb, your sunshine… geez! even vettel when you were mad at him. but never sebastian.

“ don’t call me that. ” his voice is just above a whisper and he isn’t sure if you heard him, your gaze still avoiding his. “ schatz, look at me. ”

you finally turn to him, tears in your eyes as you bite your bottom lip. you smile softly at him, and for a brief moment, he thinks it will all be okay, that you can get through this together. before he could promise you anything else, you gently cup his face as you kiss his cheek, leaving a wet spot right below his eye.

“ maybe it’s for the better. ” in that shaky voice, even though you were trying to reassure him, it feels like you’re doing it more for yourself. with no other spare second, you get up and leave him all alone by the water fountain. he just watches as you walk away, mind hazy and confused.

you didn’t dare to look back. he didn’t care enough to run after you.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“ last day in formula one. how are you feeling? ” he gets pulled out of his thoughts by britta, who looks at him with sad eyes.

“ nervous. ”

he wasn’t sure how they were supposed to go, the last days. hell, the whole thing hadn’t quite sunk in yet.

for many years, the only thing above everything else for him was formula one. he lived, breathed and bled formula one. it was his only ambition, his true desire.

from a young talent to a four time world champion, just to end up as a failed star and ending his career at a rookie team, doing more of a consulting job than exactly racing.

he had once ruled the world, got thrown away and tried to climb his way back up, enough to realize that it wasn’t worth it and it was time to give up.

he still loved racing like it was his first day, like he still was the young sebastian vettel, bright talent who could once continue michael schumacher’s legacy. the one who everyone looked at with hopeful eyes and hearts. but it was time to give the seat to someone else who truly deserved it. a young talent like he once was.

“ don’t worry. everyone’s out there ready to support you and cheer for you one last time. no one resents you for choosing what’s best for yourself, y’know. ” britta squeezes his shoulder reassuringly and all he can do is smile appreciatively at her. britta has been nothing but his supporting rock all these years, and he couldn’t be any luckier to have her by his side. “ you haven’t even left yet but i think i saw lewis throwing away a couple tears outside, by the mercedes garage. ” sebastian chuckles as he looks away and britta smiles, feeling happy to do the same.

lewis was the hardest one to convince once sebastian announced his retirement. who would’ve thought that, who was once his biggest rival on track, would be the one to say “ he will be back. ”

sebastian now looked at lewis like one of his best mates, and he was sure the champion felt the same way.

“ well— everyone is waiting for you outside. come out once you’re ready. ” britta squeezes his shoulder one more time before leaving the space, leaving him all alone in his old driver’s room.

sebastian sighs deeply, thinking back to how it all began. how he wished that a certain person had been by his side this whole time — you.

he wasn’t mad nor resented you for walking away, he understood it. you were hurt and the knife would only cut deeper if you hadn’t ended things before he left. the last thing he wanted was for you to suffer, but maybe he had done it without realizing.

there was nothing left to do besides trying to find you once he got back home. but for that, he needed to go outside and give a final goodbye to his friends, team and thousands of fans who were patiently waiting for him.

just as he was about to leave the room, he hears excited voices on the outside and before he can do anything else, the door swings open, revealing a smiley britta.

“ calm down, b. i’m not gone yet. ” he tries to crack a joke, which only gives him back a deadpan from britta, as she shakes her head. “ is everything alright? ”

“ uh— yeah! there’s just someone here to see you. ” she smiles as she moves to the side, revealing the mysterious person behind her.

and then, the whole world around him stops moving. his breathing gets heavier. he feels his chest eating him alive as his ears ring louder and louder. if it wasn’t for all the commotion outside, he would’ve surely thought that he was dreaming.

“ hey, seb. ” there you were. in all you glory and beauty, standing there right in front of him; angelic as ever, just how he had dreamt of all these years.

you were all grown up now, slightly taller but still shorter than him. you still had that childish glint in your eyes, but you were much more mature now.

you step further into the room with sebastian still paralyzed in shock as he stares at you dumbfounded. “ schatz. ” his voice is nothing but above a whisper as he calls out for you.

“ i’ll leave the two of you alone. ” britta winks at sebastian, who doesn’t quite pay attention to her, and closes the door before walking away.

you keep your chuckles to yourself has he hasn’t moved yet since he saw you. putting all you anxiety to the side, you become the bigger person and step closer to him, involving his body into a warm hug. and just then, you both realize how much you’ve missed it during all these years.

“ and before you ask me about why i’m here, it’s pretty obvious that i’m here to see you. idiot. ” he chuckles and finally hugs you back, your sweet laugh just beside his ear.

you stay like that, in silence, just absorbing each others presence for a while. a couple tears rolling down your cheeks and sebastian finally understands it all. nothing is a goodbye forever; there’s always a hello after it. maybe he could be back one day.

“ i’m sorry i didn’t run after you that day. ” he finally breaks the silence as you both pull away with runny noses and wet cheeks. you just smile fondly at him, cupping his cheeks so you could wipe away his tears.

“ i didn’t want you to run after me. i just wanted you to stay, but that wasn’t my choice to make. ” as his blue eyes stare into yours, everything finally feels okay again, and sebastian feels like he’s ready to face it all one last time.

just as you approach his face to plant a kiss to his cheek, a distant voice breaks you away from your transe.

“ hey seb— oh, sorry. i didn’t realize you had your lady with you. ” lewis walks into the room but quickly stops on his tracks as he sees both of you together.

“ she isn’t my lady. yet. ” you just laugh as you look to each other and sebastian swears he saw some kind of blush creeping around your cheeks, even though you denied it later on.

“ uh— okay. i just wanted to let you know that we’re ready for you outside. ” lewis says quite hurriedly before looking at you with an awkward smile. “ hi, i’m— i’m lewis, by the way. ”

you shyly greet him back before sebastian speaks up. “ i’ll be there in a minute. ”

lewis only nods at him and says his goodbyes to you before running away, leaving the both you alone again.

“ you should probably go out there. they’re waiting for you. ” you mumble while turning at him, swiftly patting his shirt. a big “ danke seb ” text was plastered at the front, which made your heart warm.

“ yeah. ” he looks at you with loving eyes, but is still a bit hesitant to leave. he wants, he needs more time with you.

“ i will still be here when you’re done. ”

“ i know. ”

and right there and then, he knows exactly what he didn’t that day, by the water fountain, where all his love flourished for you.

[racingliners]

5 + sebchal 🫶🏻🫶🏻

Hi!!! Sorry this took all day, I don't know how to write short things. Hope you enjoy! 💚

sebchal + "I guess you are right" - send me a prompt!

Charles had changed his mind no less than fifty times about whether or not he should have simply flown to Switzerland instead of driving all the way up from Monaco. He’d already spent a good sleepless night before he left weighing up the pros and cons – flying would definitely have gotten the whole thing over with whatever the outcome, but driving through the French countryside and most of Switzerland gave Charles the most time to try and prepare a speech.

(The quickest way would have been to drive to Milan and then go North, but Charles wanted all the extra seconds the universe could spare him).

He’d spent the night at a hotel in Geneva that he couldn’t remember anything about other than the luxury setting and soft sheets, Charles still wasn’t able to think about much other than his destination.

He and Seb still exchanged Christmas cards, and Charles cherished every single one, which was why he thankfully didn’t have to ask Mia to ask Britta for Sebastian’s address. Something that would have added an extra layer of embarrassment to what Charles was about to do, maybe to the point of talking himself out of it, but he was glad that the irrational part of his mind was still winning out as he threw his weekend bag into the boot of his car (not his custom Ferrari, but a rental white Audi. He wanted to be as inconspicuous as possible).

Charles had expected the weather to be nicer for the second week of August, but instead the air was cool and the sky a barely there grey as he set off on the next leg of his journey.

He didn’t realise that he was in love with Sebastian until their last race as teammates, and every day since he’d kept his feelings buried so deep down there would be moments Charles would almost forget they were there. But then he’d see an Aston Martin drive past him, or a butterfly hovering on a flower and they would come back to the surface almost ten time stronger.

And now that Sebastian only had nine races left in his F1 career, for better or worse Charles decided he had to go to Switzerland to finally tell him how he felt.

The sky darkened the further into Switzerland Charles drove, and by the time he was 20 kilometres past Bern thick heavy raindrops started to batter the windscreen. He briefly considered pulling over at a service station but there was a small fire in his chest telling him to keep going, to keep driving.

Even in the pouring rain, Switzerland was beautiful. The deep green forests, the towering mountains that put the ones in Monaco to shame, the deep blue lakes that looked so much like Sebastian’s eyes it was borderline unnerving. Charles knew from the handful of pictures Seb had shown him over the years why Seb called the country home. There was a split second where Charles felt like he might be able to call it home too, but he gripped his hands tighter round the steering wheel to snap himself out of it.

As the pit of his stomach kept telling him, there was no guarantee Sebastian would now or ever love Charles back.

He allowed himself ten minutes at a service station just outside Lucerne for an espresso and a pep talk. After all, how hard would it really be to tell an ex-teammate that Charles was so in love with him he felt like bursting into flames if they were stood too close together.

Back in the driver’s seat, Charles gently brushed his hands down his navy button up shirt before resting them in his lap, allowing himself one deep breath before starting the car again, and driving away.

The closer he got to Sebastian’s house the more his throat seemed to tighten, to the point where he almost couldn’t breathe when Charles finally turned off the motorway and the satnav told him he would be at his destination in five short kilometres.

At some point the intensity of the rain had decreased to a light drizzle, Charles barely noticed it as he stepped out of the car but that might have been because he was fixated on the very unassuming front door to Sebastian’s house.

It was a dark wood with black metal fixtures screwed into it, and a tiny square glass window near the top. Charles was tall enough to look through it but he couldn’t see anything, as the rain started to fall heavier once more.

His whole mouth felt dry to the point he wasn’t sure if he would be able to get a word out let alone a sentence, and he realised that he’d left his coat in the car but he couldn’t turn and get it now when he was so close. Instead Charles slowly curled his right hand into a fist, and he knocked his knuckles against the wood three times.

All Charles could hear was the sound of the rain hitting the ground.

What was he thinking?! He should have called first, or at least texted Seb back in Lucerne to see if he was at home. For all Charles’ luck Sebastian was back in Heppenheim visiting his family and friends, or on holiday somewhere with someone that wasn’t Charles.

Why did he drive all this way in the hope that Sebastian already loved him in return?

Charles forced down a large gulp and bit down on his lip as he took two small steps away from the door. He didn’t want to leave, but maybe he had to. Maybe he would be better off letting his dreams of Sebastian go, maybe it would be easier this way.

He had just moved his left foot to turn himself round when the door opened.

“Charles?” And there Seb was, his gorgeous blue eyes wide as he looked Charles up and down in complete disbelief.

“Seb.” Charles said his name with a sigh of relief and a bright smile. He was right there, barely two metres away. If Charles tried hard enough he could probably smell Seb’s aftershave alongside the rain.

“What are you doing here?” “I love you.”

They both said at the exact same time, their faces fell mirroring each other perfectly.

“I’m sorry.” Charles said quickly. “I didn’t… I couldn’t keep it in anymore. I had to tell you before you left.”

Seb’s eyes glanced past Charles at the Audi with its French licence plate, and quickly put two and two together.

“You…” The hand that had been rested against the door frame fell to Seb’s side. He was wearing a light grey crewneck that Charles was sure he’d seen Seb wear on multiple factory visits to Maranello paired with dark jeans and navy socks. “You drove all the way here?”

“I know it’s stupid.” Charles wasn’t sure if he was speaking about his feelings or his life choices. “I couldn’t tell you over the phone, I wanted to see you before Spa because if I don’t tell you now I don’t think I ever will. Because in time I’ll be able to live with not winning the title this year but I not if I say goodbye to you without you knowing how I feel.” The words tumbled out of his mouth almost as fast as the rain was falling from the sky. Charles briefly panted to regain his breath while his heart continued to hammer against his ribcage. He was soaked through now, but he didn’t care. He already knew that Seb turning him down would be worse. Clothes could dry but broken hearts were always harder to fix.

Sebastian blinked slowly, not once had his eyes left Charles’ face since he clocked the rental car parked in his driveway. His eyes were still wide, they looked like an ocean Charles would happily down in.

It was only when Charles realised that Seb still hadn’t said anything at all, that he opened his moth to start forming an apology, only to be cut off by Sebastian lurching forwards to cup his warm hands around Charles’ jaw as he tilted his head down to kiss him.

It was a fairly chaste kiss, but it was more than enough.

“You need to get inside.” Seb said quickly after he pulled away, his eyes darted all over Charles sodden clothes. “You should have worn a coat!”

Charles’ head now felt so light he had to grip onto Seb’s forearms out of fear he was about to float away.

“I guess you are right.” He said with a lazy smile, and he let Sebastian pull him inside the warm house. “I have a bag in the car-” Charles said as Sebastian shut the door behind them.

“Later.” Seb said firmly, pulling Charles in for a longer, deeper kiss.

[mommy-thot-speaketh]

Headcannon #1 (Trobed shippers and non shippers alike this is up to you how you wanna interpret this)

Troy returns, experienced but not particularly more wise. He apparently has not travelled the world like Pierce wanted him to, realising halfway that perhaps it's no use running around giggling without someone to giggle with, no use searching for his place in the world if it means sacrificing his comfort and tearing away from where he had sunk roots in. In a way, Pierce's boon felt like a bane, and so he made his way back to home, to Greendale, to Abed. His return was an emotional one to most. Annie cried and embraced him, her sobs genuine this time, her clear voice wavering uncharacteristically. Shirley had just flown down to see everyone again, and Troy's appearance was a surprise that delighted her endlessly; the mother hen pecked at him with happy tears welling in her eyes as she enquired about his wellbeing. Britta was gleeful, but her enthusiastic greeting was quelled by a "Shut up Britta!" To be fair, she did just say some absurd things about Troy finally being there to help relieve the burden of being the funny one in the group. Jeff had dashed over once he had heard, but will not affirm it, choosing to step into the group study room with a smirk as he spouted off some cool tagline. Troy fistbumped him, telling him how cool that was, as the nostalgia began to flood his system. However, just one person was missing. Troy looked around, hiding his disappointment as he looked around the blue walls of the study room. Everything was as it was, just slightly different. The table had more scratches, the chairs were slightly different, the Dean was chuckling off to one side, a hand on Jeff's arm that Jeff has not swatted away yet. As he looks to Annie for more details, Annie winks at him and mouths "they're not together that way, but Jeff is.. bi." Troy's eyes widen as his jaw slacks. All that does not change the fact that Troy still was missing someone. Someone he had formed an inseperable bond with, who had yet been torn from him by everyone, from the Air-Con guys to Pierce. He gave up. After all, if Abed wasn't still here after Britta's obnoxious Twitter post, perhaps he did not know, or perhaps he did not care anymore. He decided to say his thank yous to his friends and embark on a journey to see just how much Greendale has been saved from ruin when- "TROY!" "ABED-" A thin frame stood in front of him, dressed in a comfortable long sleeved shirt and a sweater vest, his shoes seemingly new. Brown eyes met black, and an unspoken pattern arose. Four hands rose up in the air, and one of each thudded against each chest, whilst the other connected in the middle twice, a resounding echo each time the two met. The rest could only stare in unbridled wonder as the two continued to stare into each others eyes, appraising the other for any signs of distance. With none, arms wrapped around each other, Abed stood in silence as Troy's eyes finally gave way to the emotions that had been threatening to flood out of him. "I thought you'd have forgotten me." "Never. Not when the Dreamscape is there to remind me of what I had lost every single day." Together, their voice echoed as they sung. "Troy and Abed Back Together~"

[jeffannieresource]

My (long, long, very long) List of Favorite Jeff/Annie fics -- Part 1b

Click here to read the notes for this list Click here for Part 1a

Tell the World That We Finally Got It Right by ameliajessica Rated: T Date Originally Posted: Feb 06, 2015 "IT'S A BEAR DANCE!" Chaos ensues! Riot! Food fight! Jeff and Annie hiding from the mayhem!

Inevitable by Waffleberry Rated: T Date Originally Posted: Feb 7, 2015 He has thought about it so many times in the summer break; of course he has; and what he has deduced is that it wasn’t just Racquel that broke in that lab. Something between them fractured.

Cry Uncle by Fayth82 Rated: T Date Originally Posted: Feb 21, 2015 He's had those words running around his head all week and it was slowly driving him crazy. It will only take one little thing to tip him over the edge.

DVD Extras by PepperF Rated: T Date Originally Posted: March 16, 2015 Movie-making, romantic melodrama as proxy, the art of subtle manipulation, and ghost (?) ninja alien robots.

If It’s Real (It Stains Your Hand Like Wine) by wright_or_wrong Rated: T Date Originally Posted: May 2, 2015 “But I think to really sell it,” Abed muses. “We need a kiss. I mean, you guys are about to die. What would keep you from going for it?” Alternate/Missing scene for 6x08.

When a Resistable Force Meets a Moveable Object by PepperF Rated: T Date Originally Posted: May 5, 2015 Things are fine, really. The kissing is just an aberration. WAS. WAS an aberration.

only fools rush in by ameliajessica Rated: E Date Originally Posted: May 7, 2015 - Aug 3, 2015 Jeff and Annie are terrible at casual sex. Well, Annie is.

Coming Clean by thebaddestwolf Rated: E Date Originally Posted: June 8, 2015 to Aug 3, 2015 It almost didn’t seem real -- that he’d finally, finally, told her, that he’d kissed her -- that she’d asked him to. After the mess he’d made of everything, all the self-sabotage and self-loathing and other self-inflicted pain, the solution boiled down to something as simple as coming clean to her. A missing scene fic, starting after the S6 finale study room kiss. Spoilers, obviously.

You’ll See How Well We Rhyme by wright_or_wrong Rated: T Date Originally Posted: June 9, 2015 "It’s probably why he’s felt so envious of Annie, going out and changing her life, chasing something new and better – and it’s probably why it was so easy to come up with alternate scenarios for the future after she got her internship. There’s got to be something better out there for him too." Post S6 finale

Advanced Manipulation and Mindfulness Techniques by PepperF Rated: T Date Originally Posted: Jan 31, 2016 Fours all have this look: alert, cunning, and ravenous. It may be hell at the bottom and heaven at the top, but one level down the pressure is enough to forge diamonds. But Annie thrives under pressure.

Intro to Freudian Slips by randomramblesff Rated: G Date Originally Posted: Feb 11, 2016 “By which you mean, Chang emails me rankings every day and I don't respond, because if I did, it would always be Annie one, Britta two.” An alternative ending to Basic Email Security (Season 6, Episode 6) where Jeff is a gupti-gupta who accidentally said something he probably shouldn't have said.

Basic Truth by PepperF Rated: T Date Originally Posted: March 20, 2016 What if Annie had been in the study room instead of Britta?

Aimless Walking and Significant Moments by greendalecoolcat Rated: T Date Originally Posted: April 10, 2016 Jeff reveals information to Annie. She takes him on a walk.

Emotional First Aid for Amateur Busybodies by PepperF Rated: T Date Originally Posted: April 21, 2016 School's out and Annie's going away and nothing really matters. Which doesn't explain why he's awake at 2 a.m. worrying about it all.

Open Doors and New Beginnings by greendalecoolcat Rated: M Date Originally Posted: June 1, 2016 An alternate version of the finale.

One More Goodbye by Nostalgia_101 Rated: T Date Originally Posted: June 5, 2016 Annie's last night in Greendale before leaving for D.C.

Five Times That Annie Seduced Jeff, and One Time She Got Distracted and Forgot (But It Worked Anyway) by PepperF Rated: T Date Originally Posted: June 7-8, 2016 I'm just going to let that title speak for itself.

Lecherous by CeleryLapel Rated: T Date Originally Posted: Aug 18, 2016 to Sept 9, 2019 Canon Divergent fic immediate post Remedial Chaos Theory

Alternative Teleologies of Narrative: A Holistic Approach by jeffwik Rated: T Date Originally Posted: Sept 3, 2016 "Or maybe the dean was right?" Annie asked. "About us?" She searched his features, looking for confirmation of what she'd been so certain of when she'd come up with the whole stupid crack-Troy-and-record-a-taunting-message-to-get-Jeff-to-admit-he-wanted-her plan.

Certainty by CeleryLapel Rated: K Date Originally Posted: Jan 22, 2017 Post-S6. Jeff and Annie are dating. They haven't yet told his mother.

Tell Me by randomramblesff Rated: M Date Originally Posted: March 20, 2017 When he first tells, her he feels partly pathetic and partly terrified. He’s been thinking about it for a while, mulling over all the ways he could screw things up. It’s not that he has a common history for ending things because of what happens in the bedroom - well, technically he doesn’t have a common history for any of it seeing as he’d only really class two or three of his past relationships as just that, genuine relationships – but he knows there’s some sort of expectation floating above him like a cloud. (or... Jeff and Annie take things slow when she gets back from DC)

You Are the Opera (Always on Time and in Tune) by PepperF Rated: T Date Originally Posted: March 23-26, 2017 It had been a long week. Hell, it had been a long forty years, and by the end of Friday he was feeling the weight of every weary minute. So he chose to blame the tiredness for what happened—that, and the tequila. He could never get the hang of tequila. It wasn't his fault he couldn't be strong for even one more minute.

Fill in the Gaps by randomramblesff Rated: T Date Originally Posted: April 27, 2017 “I’m Annie,” She stood forward, her champagne free hand ready to shake. “My fiancée.” “Pffft, ugh, sorry,” She tapped at her chest with the palm of her hand, knocking even more wind out of her than Jeff had already just done, “the, erm, the champagne, I think, didn’t settle right.”

Resolved by NE8675309 Rated: T Date Originally Posted: June 16-29, 2017 Jeff has been forced to realize his feelings for Annie just as she has decided to ignore his very existence. While Jeff is trying to make up for his own past indifference, Annie is trying to make a new start free from her own naivete. Angst and misunderstandings ensue. Post S5. Takes place during the Summer as an Alternate S6.

Basic Booty Call Etiquette by Pigzxo Rated: E Date Originally Posted: Aug 19, 2017 Their yam isn't murdered but Annie still sends that text. You're about to be screwed in the bio lab.

Just Like Always by greendalecoolcat Rated: T Date Originally Posted: Sept 2, 2017 It wasn’t just a debate kiss, or school dance make out. It wasn’t small spaces under blanket forts and it wasn’t smiles from across the room. It was sex and the most intimate moment of her life because it was with the man she loved.

Introduction to Sex Toys by Pigzxo Rated: E Date Originally Posted: Sept 11, 2017 All Annie wants is to buy a discounted vibrator at Dildopolis in peace. Unfortunately, with Jeff insisting on walking her to her door and the flash sale only lasting ten minutes, this quickly becomes impossible. The result? A messy, bumpy, totally unhealthy venture into friends-with-benefits territory.

Emotional Consequences of Cross Country Migrations (x) by cgkm2099z Rated: PG-13/M Date Originally Posted: Oct 3, 2017 This takes place mostly in between the final scene in Study Room F and when Jeff drops Annie and Abed at the airport. It's my own answer to the question: "what happened in that week in between?"

#AndAMovie by albatross9 Rated: G Date Originally Posted: Feb 16, 2018 Post season 6. Annie is surprised to find Jeff Winger on her doorstep and even more surprised when he volunteers to escort her an important work event when her real date flakes. All goes according to plan until their friends decide to crash the gala. Frankie has a surprise for everyone and the group decides that crashing Annie's work event is the best course of action. What can possibly go wrong?

The Mistakes Not Made under the Moonlight by Natalie_Carson Rated: G Date Originally Posted: May 14, 2018 During Basic RV Repair and Palmistry, Jeff sneaks out of the RV late at night unable to sleep only to find that one of the other Greendale seven couldn't sleep either.

I know that other things are not of consequence by middlemarch Rated: T Date Originally Posted: Aug 1, 2020 Something was ringing. It wasn't his alarm. It was his fucking doorbell.

Theories of Romantic Expressionism by Little_Annie_Adderall Rated: T Date Originally Posted: Aug 13, 2020 Annie's 21st birthday party. She rarely thinks of herself as "the young one" in the group anymore. But there's always one person who points out her tender age at every ill-timed opportunity. Tonight, she wants to prove her new adult identity. Although whether she wants to prove this new identity to herself or to... him... she isn't entirely sure. So on December 19, the study group gathers to celebrate Annie Edison finally going to a bar without having to be Caroline Decker from Corpus Christi. And once there, she receives a gift that changes everything.

Falling off the Precipice by HarmonizingSunsets Rated: G Date Originally Posted: Sept 29, 2020 Annie and Jeff aren’t a thing. If they were a thing, Annie would know about it. I mean…she thinks she’d know… Annie and Jeff are done with the will-they-won’t-they thing.

Casting by L56895 Rated: T Date Originally Posted: Oct 13, 2020 Jeff isn’t sure why he agreed to be casting director.

Constants and Variables by Raj_Sound Rating: T Date Originally Posted: Oct 21, 2020 to Jan 21, 2023

Advanced Beginner Knots by jeffwik Rated: T Date Originally Posted: Dec 3, 2020 In the aftermath of “Intro to Knots” Jeff and Annie hook up.

Countdown by practicingmypurpose Rated: T Date Originally Posted: Dec 16, 2020 sight, smell, taste, sound, feel.

Five by onenotewaffles Rating: E Date Originally Posted: June 16, 2021 to August 19, 2021 Set after the events of E304 in timeline 5, my third-favorite timeline.

Pottery for Dummies by naboojakku Rated: T Date Originally Posted: July 18, 2021 Annie tries pottery. Jeff quietly—then not so quietly—loses his mind.

Psychology of Deception by andropithecus Rated: M Date Originally Posted: July 21, 2021 to Aug 6, 2021 Jeff has always been pretty good at lying, and at getting out of things that he doesn't want to do. But what will he do when his Mom corners him into Christmas dinner and asks him to bring the girlfriend that he (lied and) told her he had? Lots of fluff, lots of fun, and an irritated Annie will ensue.

Cruel Summer by Olivia Sprite Rated: E Date Originally Posted: Sept 13, 2021 Jeff comes out to DC to visit Annie during her summer internship, and it takes everything in Annie not to mention 'The Annie of it all,' lest her heart is broken one more time.

All I Want for Christmas by Olivia Sprite Rated: E Date Originally Posted: Dec 24, 2021 Jeff and Annie are dating, and all Annie wants for Christmas is you-know-what. But a mysterious present means it's time to team up and investigate! A little mystery, a little snow, a classic caper; will our beautiful dummies get what they want this holiday season?

Social History and Holiday Revisionism by PinkCanary Rated: E Date Originally Posted: Dec 4, 2022 Seven years after Annie leaves Greendale, she comes back for the holidays.

[jeffannieftw]

If you had to pick an episode for Jeff and Annie to get together, which one would it be?

Hmmm excellent question

I think that, because it’s community and the focus has never been on relationships too much, I would’ve liked them doing relationship stuff on the sidelines. Like—

Maybe have them just hook up in season 4

add a scene at the end of the Christmas episode where everyone else has gone home and they are laughing about the day and Annie is helping clean.

She says something like “sorry if I made that get out of hand. I know I can be… dramatic… and too much”

And Jeff can say something like “cmon Annie. You’re never too much. You’re a perfect amount and make every situation better even when you make it worse”

He goes to move into the kitchen, or tries to ruffle her hair but she catches his hand, looking gobsmacked, and they look at each other

End episode

Then the next episode is the body switching episode (a lot of people say the best ep of season 4 and that’s fair, except troy treats poor Britta like crap)

Start it with Annie waking up in Jeff’s bed and sneaking out

Maybe they are kind of avoiding eye contact that day

When Jeff has his speech to Troy about how he wishes he was brave enough to commit to a relationship, maybe a line about how knowing troy makes him feel braver? Implied he’s thinking about Annie

At the end of the episode he goes to talk to Annie and it’s obvious he’s going to suggest they actually date but before he gets there she cuts him off and says:

“Jeff, knowing you has really helped me relax. I love that I don’t always have to be thinking of the future! I can just live my life and see where things go. I guess I’m more mature now!”

As she wanders off, it’s clear that Jeff is devastated

Then never address it again in season 4

In season 5, maybe one glance in the first episode that makes it clear that they aren’t sure where they left off

In the polygraph episode just add a line where pierce conveys to the gang

“did you know Mr. Winger and Ms. Edison have been seeing each other since they got back to greendale?”

Everyone is shocked

Jeff cries out “how could he know that”

Annie is like “pierce promised our monthly coffee catch ups were confidential!” Or something

Then when questioned, both insist “we’re casual! It’s casual!”

The rest of the season, their interactions are a bit different. They hold hands when people aren’t looking, he’s shown holding her food or bringing her coffee.

Season 5 finale

in the show has the Jeff-Britta engagement. If we really need to keep that we can have Jeff/Annie say they’ve ended things at the start of the episode.

But I say we get rid of the subplot.

Maybe instead he and Annie are talking about ending things in their casual relationship since it’s ~casual~ and they are going to have to separate when the school is closed.

And maybe she’s like “it works out; Abed wants to downsize to a cheaper place anyway; I’m going to transfer out of the city because city college doesn’t have forensics so I guess I’m moving.”

Both are sad

After Jeff’s burst of emotion that opens the door, Jeff stops Annie at the end of the episode

He says “I’m tired of pretending not to have emotions. I don’t want us to be casual, we saved the school so you can stay” and she’s like “but abed already found a one bedroom”

He’s like “move in with me.” She agrees.

Then in season 6, they just are together but it’s only shown in a few throwaway lines an episode

She can even still leave him for her job in the finale if they want it to be sad, but I’d prefer if in their last scene together, he’s like “I’ve never left Colorado but I’ve always wanted to travel, can I come with you?”

Because I hated that Jeff never got to go anywhere in his life

I think this way would lead to minimal changes, like max one subplot would need changing and like one minute’s worth of scenes for every episode I mentioned.

In conclusion:

hook up in season 4 Christmas ep; get outed in the polygraph episode; make it official in season 5 finale

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Okay, fuck it. I'm combining my love of horror movies with my love of Community. Here's what I think the Community characters would think about horror movies:

Abed - since he's already super into movies, he definitely likes horror too. It probably isn't his favourite genre, but he still really likes them. Abed doesn't get scared from horror movies ever and just finds them fascinating. The Saw franchise is amongst his favourites. He also really likes Scream (bc of all the horror movie rules and you can't convince me he wouldn't like Randy) and The Shining. Him and Troy watch a lot of those shitty horror movies to make fun of them as well (they've probably watched all the Friday the 13th movies and all the Leprechaun movies while making fun of them)

Troy - is actually quite scared from watching horror movies, but pretends not to be (it doesn't quite work). He watches them with Abed and overall likes horror enough, but the really scary ones give him nightmares. So Troy prefers the fun ones that are less scary and that he can make fun of. Whenever he and Abed watch a scary one, Troy holds Abed's hand and also probably looks away from the TV at times

Britta - complains about the objectification of women in the horror genre a lot, but ends up complaining about the wrong movies a little too often. Overall I think she'd like those horror movies that have more of a serious message (like the current trend with movies about how rich people suck. Or movies that are about mental health or social issues). I can see her really liking Ready or Not tbh! Probably isn't a huge horror movie person, but likes it from time to time. Isn't scared of horror movies.

Annie - secretly really likes horror even though no one would expect her to (remember her story in Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps? That girl absolutely has seen some graphic horror movies)! Watches them from time to time and likes the scarier, more gorier ones. Isn't her favourite genre, but Annie loves a good horror story!

Jeff - claims horror movies are dumb and the characters in every single one of them are stupid. He claims he doesn't want to waste time watching that crap, but in reality he doesn't want to admit that they kinda scare him.

Shirley - probably likes those demon movies where a Christian priest saves the day. Has also canonically watched some Hellraiser movies so like idk what to make of her actually. Does she seem like someone who'd watch Hellraiser? Anyway she's not scared of horror movies and probably likes them well enough overall. I feel like she probably doesn't like slasher movies though

[mamawasatesttube]

🌿🍦🦋 🦴

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

diagnose the cause. is it burnout or just block?

if it's burnout: take a total break stop trying to write and go read a book. do something to help you find inspiration without trying to squeeze out every last drop you have left. let it build back up

if it's block: force the words out anyway. just write one sentence a day. i often find that when i'm struggling with block, trying to add just like 50 words at a time (a very low goal!) makes me feel more like adding another 50. and maybe another 50 after that.

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

oh MAN. okay. lets see.

lex luthor can genuinely be a really interesting and fun villain. he IS pretty iconic as such, and i do think his xenophobia and genocidal intentions make for really good conflict in superfam stories. (through gritted teeth) thats three statements right

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately 

this afternoon ive been bothering britta about car questions for the purposes of tim fic and in the process of this discussion we got onto the topic of "looking up songs about cars for potential fic titles" and i discovered this song, which ive decided is my personal tim/ari breakup anthem bc its so fucking funny. yes i know the car wasnt the real reason they broke up. however its so FUNNY. look at these lyrics.

You sure know how to hurt a girl Fewer hugs and no more kisses Just water for your carburetor And bearings for your pistons Rev her engine for your pleasure Caress and fondle her steering wheel But when you moan and hug her gear shift Stop! Think how it makes me feel

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 

lord of the rings my beloved. the silm my beloved. tolkien's writing was definitely formative for me (you can tell by how rambly i get slkdjf). i also really love the way brandon sanderson does worldbuilding, and i've enjoyed what of stina leicht's writing i've read as well!!! i'm a big fan of asimov's plot twists and foreshadowing, plus the way martha wells does unreliable narration. i think these are all my current fav authors.

Writers' Truth & Dare Ask Game!

[abbatoirablaze]

Down The Rabbit Hole, Chapter 11

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings:

“How did you do it though?” Jeff asked curiously. 

You looked at your boyfriend. 

He looked beyond exhausted.  He was covered in a white powder, and his eyes were going red “Babe…you need to shower…”

“I-I need to figure out how to get back into the group, Tawney.”

With a sigh, you walked over to him and wrapped your arms around his waist, “you’ll be fine, Jeff…”

“I-I just don’t get how you walked away from the group,” he frowned, “Annie, Britta, and Shirley ask about you all the time you know…”

“They know where my dorm is…”

He chuckled and kissed you softly, before cupping your face in his hands, “don’t think that counts for much when you’re practically living at my place now.”

A blush crept across your cheeks, and you rolled your eyes, “I don’t practically live here, Jeff…”

He quirked his brow and gave you a look, “you sure about that?”

“Jeff-“

He cut you off with another sweet kiss.

You frowned, and wiped away the powder that transferred onto your lips, “Jeff…as much as I love how you kiss me, you need to shower…before you get me all dirty.”

“If I got you dirty…then that means we’d both have to get clean…” he teased, kissing you again.

“You know…you can’t just stop my thoughts from forming by kissing me.”

He gave you a sigh and a dreamy look, “it worked so well when we started dating…”

“And then we spent all summer kissing…”

“Amongst other things!” he teased with another smirk.  Your eyes widened and you playfully hit his chest, “come on…I’ll grab a shower if you take one with me…we can brainstorm ways for me to get back into the group.”

“JEFF!”

“Like I said, it’s got you practically living here…” he said quickly, picking to stick with the fact that you had stayed nearly the entire summer at his apartment, rather than the topic of grabbing a shower with him.

“Speaking of which…I should probably go to my dorm before my classes for the day…I have some papers that I graded, and I forgot to bring them.”

“Are you making excuses to leave now, Miss Tawney?”

“I’m not,” you teased, reaching up to stroke his cheek before pressing a gentle kiss of your own to his jaw, “god…have I told you how much I love that little scruff you’ve got going on, lately?”

“Only every day…”

“You do things to me, Winger!” you giggled as you playfully tapped his cheek.  You went to take a step away from him, so that you could get your day started, but he pulled you back to his chest.  Then he began pressing a series of kisses to your face.  Your giggles got louder and you found yourself falling backwards into his bed, “Jeff, stop.  I need to get to campus!  And if you don’t stop, I’ll need to grab a shower too!”

“Just a few more kisses!” he grinned, his scruff lightly scratching down your jaw and along your throat. 

You moaned as his lips brushed over the sweet spot on your neck, and your body shuddered when his beard scratched over it next.  Your legs wrapped around his lithe waist, “god, that beard’s doing things to me!  Jeff!  Jeff…oh god!”

“Help me!” he begged playfully, pressing even more kisses to your throat, “help me.  You’re a teacher’s assistant.  I need assistance.”

“JEFF!”

“Oh, you like that!” he teased playfully as he grinded his growing bulge against your jean clad core, “you like that, Tawney?”

“Stop!” you begged, half hoping that he wouldn’t stop, “Jeff…I have to go…”

He sighed against your throat, “I’ve been going crazy, Tawney…I don’t know what to do without the group…you’re the only thing keeping me sane…”

“Have you tried apologizing?” you asked, knowing that he wouldn’t have gone that route. 

He raised himself from you ever so slightly, “Tawney-“

“Jeff…you chased after Chang to get a picture of Pierce with some rapper that you thought was your professor…” you reminded him, “you were in the vents for hours high as a kite off of monkey gas…you should apologize to everyone…especially Professor Kane.  That’s what got this started in the first place.”

He took a deep breath, and you knew in that moment that he realized just how right you were, “do I have to?”

“Jeff…you took a fire ax to the table…I think that’s the only logical move,” you said sadly as you stroked his cheek, “you need to apologize to everyone.”

“Professor Kane, I-“

“This was your doing, wasn’t it?”

You stopped in your tracks, as the biology professor held up the small blade of grass in the potted plant, with a phone that looked all too similar to your boyfriends.  The keyboard was ruined, and that’s when you noticed not only was it the keyboard that he’d destroyed, but the entire phone had been broken in a way to allow the blade of grass to run through it.

“That explains why he hasn’t been answering my texts all morning…” you said thoughtfully.

Professor Kane’s brow rose once more, “you really didn’t know that he’d done this?”

“I had no idea, Professor Kane!” you said truthfully, “I mean, I told Jeff that if he wanted to be friends with the study group again that he’d probably have to apologize, but I didn’t think he’d do that…”

“He listened…” he said thoughtfully.

“Can I ask why he shoved a plant through his phone?” you asked softly.

“A blade of grass…” he answered, trailing off as he turned the pot in his hands, a smile gracing his features, “looks like there might be some hope for your boyfriend yet...this was his idea?”

“It wasn’t mine…”

“I think my class just became full again…next time you see your boyfriend, you tell him he better not be late to class!”

“You were right…”

You laughed as you heard him getting into his car, “it was a fake club, wasn’t it?”

“Troy and Abed made it in some program so that I would save the date for their housewarming party,” he sighed across the line, “I just left their place…”

You were quiet on the other side of the line.  As the car started up, you felt your heart aching a little bit.

You weren’t invited.

“You know…your self-doubt is so loud I can practically hear it over my engine…”

“I-I’m sorry, Jeff…”

“Don’t be,” he sighed in response, “i-I know you won’t talk to me about what happened at Abed’s birthday, but I know that’s why you haven’t come back to the group…even with that, and you being as strong as you are, I know that you miss everyone.”

“I do…” you admitted gently, “but I-there’s not much I can do.  I am surprised though, that Abed never called out the fact that we were dating.”

“I think that there’s a part of him that respects us for what we did…” he replied, “I mean, we both know he was mad about it, but deep down, I think he knows that what we’ve got isn’t just hooking up like how Britta and I were.”

You frowned just thinking about it.

“Hey Jeff…”

“Do you want me to come over?  I could be there in a few minutes with some dinner,” he offered.  Before you could answer, you heard a knock coming from your door, “are you expecting someone?”

“I wasn’t planning on anyone coming over…give me a second?”

“Yeah…sure.”

You walked over to your door and looked through the peep hole.

“It’s Britta.”

“Tawney!” Britta called from the other side as she pressed her face close to her side of the eye hole, “Tawney, are you home?”

“So don’t come over?”

“Let me see what she wants…”

“Alright…I’ll text you when I get home!” he said quickly, “love you!”

“Love you too!”

The words didn’t click in your head until after the both of you had hung up, and you opened your door to see Britta standing there with a big grin on her face. 

She rushed you, pulling you into a hug as the words snapped into place.

Your boyfriend told you that he loved you.

And you said it back.

And it felt all too right.

Chapter 12

Tag List:  @lohnes16, @mckeeee-1

[himbowithapen]

Monsterfucktober - Day 12, Ghost

Beverly woke to a bump in the night.

            She didn’t remember hearing it; all she knew was that it was nearing three in the morning and she was now awake. Her throat was dry, and so she decided it was a good time to wander downstairs and fetch some water. When she got out of bed, the old floor boards beneath her creaked. The sound followed each of her footsteps until she left the master bedroom. “Old house noises.” she always thought, and she would be right. The old Victorian property was surprisingly cheap on the lettings site, and when she saw her chance to own a home she swooped in with all the money and finesse she had. The old owner, an old woman, warned her of ‘grave costs’, and during the house tour she seemed worried by the building, but in all her years of DIY, Beverly never shirked at a plumbing issue or woodwork repairs. She took all the building’s faults into account, and paid a decent enough price for the entire building.

            In three months, she’d only managed to repair a quarter of the house. The lounge was coated in a fresh olive paint, the kitchen had been rearranged and all its plumbing sorted, and the stairs had been replaced with sturdier wood. She had only just started working on her bedroom, but hesitated to do anything that would prevent her sleeping there. Only one thing stopped her, and it was the thought of spending a night in the guest room.

            When the previous owner showed her the room, Beverly almost shrieked. The creaky old wood door opened to reveal walls decorated top-to-bottom with taxidermy heads. There were deer, foxes, a badger, and more that she didn’t care to look at. From the moment she first laid eyes on them, it felt as if they were staring back; the fake eyes stuffed into their empty sockets looked unnatural, as if they belonged to a different creature altogether. In the middle of it all was a single mattress, covered by a loose sheet. The lady said it was her sister’s room, back when she lived there. Beverly didn’t think to ask for any further detail. After buying the house she didn’t touch the room, not even for storage. It sat empty, halfway down the upstairs hallway, just next to the bathroom.

            Beverly passed it when she went down to grab her late-night drink, and swore she heard something coming from within. “Just more old house noises.” she reassured herself, taking her first step down the stairs. Without the usual creaking of the old steps, her descent was very silent, which gave her nothing to block out the humming and whooshing emanating from beyond that old wood door. She wanted to dash down, to be away from it, but she refused to let herself be afraid of her own home, so she took each step slowly and carefully until she reached the bottom.

The kitchen, designed to reflect the countryside she was living in, had a britta filter built into the fridge. Beverly poured herself a cool glass of water and looked at herself in the window’s reflection: her hair was a mess, just like every time she woke up. Her arms, poking out from her sleeveless night shirt, were bulkier than she remembered, probably due to all the recent DIY work. She flexed into the window, and laughed at how cool she looked. Then her smile dropped: out of the corner of her vision, she swore she saw another person’s reflection. They were tall, even more so than her, and she was almost six foot. She span around to look at the stranger, but when her eyes found the corner they’d been reflected in, there was no one there.

            Beverly turned back to the window, looking again. The strange reflection was gone. She sighed, then closed her eyes for just a moment. Then, when she opened them again, the figure was back.

            She stood just behind Beverly, arms slung around her neck. Her head rested on one of Beverly’s shoulders, staring up at her face. Its eyes were black, they reminded her of something, but she couldn’t figure out what. Her dark hair was neatly organised into a ponytail, and her face was a chiselled beauty. But all Beverly could focus on was the figure’s tit, resting atop her other shoulder. It felt as if she could reach up and squish it, and she really wanted to. It was the kind of breast she wished she had: not too big, nicely rounded, and with the nipple just right. And with what she was seeing in the window, Beverly couldn’t decide whether to envy the illusion or be turned on by it.

            Just as she blinked, it was gone once more. Beverly looked at her lonely reflection and sighed, then went back upstairs.

Just as she got onto the landing, she felt something calling her away from her usual room. It was as if somebody was there, whispering sweet nothings into her ear and gently tugging her to one side. She thought of that figure she’d dreamt up, and felt her face become flushed. Something pecked at her ear: an imaginary nibble, and just like that she was on board for whatever crazy fever dream she was about to start.

            It led her, invisible but with a soft grip, to the taxidermy room. Beverly stopped at the door and felt a bread of sweat form on her face. “Does it have to be here?” The door creaked open almost immediately, and with a deep breath and closed eyes she stepped inside. Even then, with her eyes shut, she could feel those eyes watching her. She felt frozen to the spot, unable to continue or back away from the room. The illusion pulled her a step closer, and she heard the door shut behind her. Then, something holding her cheeks. She opened her eyes.

            The apparition of that beautiful woman smiled at her, dark eyes scanning over her body before returning to match her gaze. It held her hands and delicately lured her to the mattress. Beverly followed its every move, kneeling on the make-shift bed as it guided her down, then lying down with the womanly figure slowly straddling her waist.

            “I know you.” she began, “This was your room. You’re the old owner’s sister, aren’t you?”

            The figure nodded, looking around at the creepy décor. Her smile dropped, but then returned once she was looking back at Beverly.

            “You’re so pretty, I want to feel you.” She whispered, a hand pulling up to caress the ghost’s exposed breasts. She felt it, barely, and struggled to not send her hand through the faint membrane that was the ghost’s physical form. Its face contorted into a silent moan. Wind whistled underneath the door. “Oh, you like that?”

            The ghost nodded, translucent hips grinding against Beverly’s waist. She could just about feel its presence, and moved her hand up from its breast, towards its neck. She clasped it between her finger and thumb, then very lightly pressed.

            “Only one thing, if we’re doing this, I’m in control, you got that?” The ghost nodded, mouth agape and eyes wide. “Good ghost.” Beverly pushed herself up and threw the figure down. It’s ponytail, while still done up, looked messier than before, and its curvy body jiggled as it impacted the mattress. “Mmmm, I’m one lucky gal so have you haunting me.” She leaned down again, putting her hand around the ghost’s throat and pressing on the sides.

            The ghost looked like a dumb, helpless bitch; exactly how Beverly wanted it. She straddled it, being careful not to fall through, and groped its tit with her free hand while choking it. The ghost squirmed in her grip, trying to break free but smiling like it didn’t want to. Beverly let go of its throat briefly and slapped it.

            “Are you gonna behave for me, or are you going to wrestle against me? Make up your mind before I get both hands around your pretty little neck.”

            The ghost went still, and its smile dropped. In its place was a fearful expression, the kind that read as “I’ll be good.” It didn’t speak, and Beverly wasn’t sure if it could, but she took the ghost’s conformity as what it looked like.  

            “Very good ghost. You look so much prettier when you’re being obedient.” A dumb little grin spread across its face, and Beverly felt the urge to slap it again. She did, and that submissive expression returned. “I love the way you look when you’re insulted.” The ghost smiled again, silently giggling, and she slapped it yet again. “Dumb whore, it’s like you enjoy being smacked. The ghost eagerly nodded, and one last time Beverly slapped it across the face, then returned her hand to its throat.

            She fondled the ghost’s breasts while choking it, having it lick her fingers before rubbing its nipples between them. It writhed and moaned and held onto her wrists whenever she applied more pressure to her rubbing. Then its hand moved down; past its breasts, past Beverly, and down between its legs where it started fingering itself.

            “Want me to help you with that?” Even though she could hardly see it, Beverly noticed how flushed the ghost’s face became. It quickly shook its head, sticking its neck out more and fondling its unattended breast with its free hand. When Beverly moved her hand away from its throat, the ghost gently guided it back. She obliged it and resumed choking and fondling it, but leaned in close to its increasingly dumb-looking face. “I wanna taste you.” The ghost batted its eyes and stuck out its tongue. “No, I wanna taste you.” Her hand tightened around its throat, the ghost’s black eyes bulged.

            Its hand returned from between its legs, now covered from fingertip to knuckle in a wet substance. It held it out for Beverly to taste, and she licked it, all while keeping eye contact with the ghost.

            “You taste like a dumb slut, you know that?” The ghost’s hand shot back between its legs, and its silent moans became more laboured. “Is that all it takes for you? A hand at your throat, another between your legs, and some dirty talk? I was expecting a ghost, not an easy ride.” She leaned down, pressing her chest against the ghost’s. “After this, I’m gonna have you eat me out. How does that sound?” The ghost nodded enthusiastically. “Good ghost.” She squeezed its throat and kissed its face all over: cheeks, lips, earlobes. All of them left that same dizzy, giddy expression on its face. Beverly slapped it one more time and spat in its mouth, and the ghost began to write, even more than before. It shook free of her grasp, groped itself hard with one hand while its hips raised and its other hand wildly stroked its clit. The ghost began to levitate, refusing to ease up on its touching until it came. Beverly saw lust and satisfaction all around the room: not just in the hot ghost, but in all the taxidermy. Then, she realised where she’d seen the ghost’s eyes before. They were dead eyes, just like the ones shoved in each wall-mounted piece. It was part of them, and they were part of it.

            When the ghost came, it squirted all over the room: grey ectoplasm splashing Beverly, the mattress, and every single piece on the walls. The ghost dropped from the air, landing on the sticky mattress and still gently rubbing its clit. Beverly lay beside it, took off her plasm-stained shirt, and pulled it into an embrace.

            “You’re so hot.” She kissed its forehead, and the ghost rested its head against her chest. “I was thinking… I’ve wanted to renovate my room for a while now, but I was scared to sleep in here. But now that I’ve met you, would you like to keep me company?”

            The ghost nodded and raised its head, kissing Beverly on the lips. Their tongues met between their mouths, snaked around each other, and then shook on it. The ghost moved Beverly onto her back, started kissing down her body, and as its tongue brushed against her clit, she thanked herself for the best housemate she could hope for.

[mrawkweird]

I finally got see Scooby Doo Mystery Inc, and much like Spectacular Spiderman it lived up hype. It really does feel like it's everything what other bigger bolder Scooby projects tried to do and fails. It's more mature but not overbearing, has a very solid and subtle crossover with other Hanna Barbera series like Blue Falcon and Johnny Quest and a over arching story. Plus shit's just mad funny. I think the only downside is the romance specifically the one with Shag and Velma, it's focused on so much but they're both very unlikable during it, Velma for being overbearing and controlling and Shaggy for being so passive and refusing to commit plus Scooby being mad jealous for no reason. Later he has no problem with Shaggy dating the one china girl and Scoob himself get's a girlfriend so I can't see the problem.

Also from what I heard about Hot Dog Water I would assume she was in way more episodes be she's in so little that personally I find her big ship with Velma unearned.

Also I hate her chicken legs, like she looks like her legs should immediately break just by standing up

For me Mystery Incorporated will always be my favorite Scooby-Doo series because they really took the typical formula and asked "What if Scooby-Doo had an arc?". They took it to a new level and they didn't lose sight of the characters and what makes Scooby-Doo, well, Scooby-Fucking-Doo. You know, unlike certain things that fell off 4 episodes after my first initial half praise.

I honestly just use this series to push me to get back into drawing now.

Also, if I had to compare the whole Shaggy/Velma/Scooby thing to something I would definitely say it was their Troy/Britta/Abed moment from Season 4 of Community. The writers created a situation to show why they thought the pairing wouldn't work out but in my heart I'll always know what could have been if handled better. Fortunately like Community it's just a minor stumble that doesn't bring down the whole series.

They did also feed my years of Shaggy X Daphne curiosity so that brought the points back up.

And the thing about Velma and Hot Dog Water is that I wouldn't necessarily say it's unearned but more so that people did a little too much hyping it up for what we got. That sort of hype personally drives me crazy these days because it's like, if this is supposed to be natural then treat it naturally. Let's not start bouncing off the walls making it seem like an anomaly just occurred in front of our faces anytime a show or movie does this. I say "these days" but this was back in 2013 so I guess I can give it something of a pass because they touched on the possibility of Velma canonically being into women in anything before anybody else. Now fast forward to last year where everybody went "OMG; Velma's gay in the latest movie" . When I tell you this was one of the least breaking news things I ever heard. Like "Congratulations on finding out Velma likes every candy in the store. We been here".

Needless to say Mystery Incorporated is something I feel a lot of people who are into Scooby-Doo should experience. Especially if they're looking for something a little more mature than they're used to. Between this and Scoobynatural they won't need what HBO Max is pushing. We would have gotten more with them but just like Spectacular Spider-Man they got cancelled out their plans for a third season. Thankfully unlike Spectacular they were able to end in a way that can feel like a definite series ending. RIP to them chicken legs. May they be getting worn out somewhere.

[lackadaisicalnereid]

top 5 tv episodes? top 5 songs (currently or Of All Time)??

top 5 tv episodes currently, in no particular order, things I've watched or rewatched recently:

1 sharp objects series finale 2 star trek strange new worlds s02e03 3 community s01e23 4 succession series finale 5 black sails s02e01

top 5 tv episodes ever, in no particular order 1 doctor who s01e09 father's day 2 btvs, s02e22, becoming part 2 3 twin peaks s02e22 beyond life and death 4 hannibal s02e13 mizumono 5 the west wing s02e22 two cathedrals

(also, @sunbelieving I loved both your asks (all four of your asks?) but writing the tv stuff took a lot out of me and I just do not have it in me to do the same for songs, which I think might be even more challenging. I might return to it later, however)

thinky-thoughts hidden below

sharp objects series finale

This is one of those cases where it's taken me years to get around to finally watching something I'm convinced I'll like. My life is like that, it makes no sense. It feels weird to single out one episode of a whole that is so strongly one thing, but the finale is where everything culminates & the first two thirds had my stomach in knots. The ending reveal montage was brilliant and gutting. Amy Adams and Eliza Scanlen are forever good in my books on the strength of the finale.

star trek strange new worlds s02e03

Love La'an and what she gets to do in this episode. It's both classic TOS shenanigans in a way that I thoroughly enjoy & it's also character developing in a way TOS arguably could not have been, as that was not really the tv landscape back in the day. I found her attachment to Kirk both sweet and heartbreaking, and there were some moments along the way I thought were just excellent fun, like Kirk getting them money by playing chess, because Kirk plays chess with his first officer in every universe, and La'an and Kirk choosing the same outfit when they go to the shop and need regular Earth clothing. Adelaide Kane put in a good performance as the guest star, and not only was the plot fun, but it also managed to advance some character arcs, primarily La'an's, but also Pelia's. All good in my book.

community s01e23 modern warfare

I accidentally rewatched a few episodes of Community yesterday and just had such incredible amounts of fun with this and some other episodes. The ability of the cast and crew to work across genres and plotlines and tropes and still have convincing characters and even character arcs, as well as relationship arcs, is still a brilliant accomplishment in my books. Also, early Jeff/Britta, what a wonderful sitcom disaster.

succession series finale

Look, I am not immune to siblings and tragedy. I would really love to say I have something to add to the immeasurable amounts of Succession discourse, but I am not sure I do. The final sibling argument scene wherein Kendall, for a shot at the throne, takes back his confession of murder (manslaughter probably?) which was what jump started his patching-things-up-with-the-siblings and was arguably the moment they were all most there for each other in the whole series? Horrifying, beautiful, stupid, inevitable. Tragic.

black sails s02e01

I have decided to cheer for all thing queer and fun and my friends that I am watching this with are both highly into this as well, so it's not necessarily the episode itself that I enjoyed so much, as it was my experience of watching it, but I treasure it. Also, I cannot believe I am getting attached to John Silver of all fictional characters in all the pirate gin joints, but what can you do, I am weak, someone save me.

top tv episodes of all time, in no particular order

Honestly, there's like an extremely slim chance that this is actually my top 5 episodes of tv ever, but I'm really trying here & will try to explain my thinky thoughts. Having written the list and given it a bit of a thing, there's definitely a theme here of themes being developed & brought to escalation, plotlines being finished, tragic and horrible choices being made, high stakes, and (the least in the case of the doctor who episode) the landscape of the show and of what the show is/means being changed forever by the episode.

doctor who s01e09 father's day

Listen, I know. I hear you. I want to say ANYTHING basically with Amy. Amy is forever my favorite Doctor Who companion. But on my recent Doctor Who re-watch I discovered depths of appreciation I did not know I had for Father's Day. I love Rose's self-centeredness, and Nine's anger and then angered resignation to it, which inevitably ends in honest forgiveness. I always cry over Nine's speech to the young couple.

DOCTOR: How did all this get started? STUART: Outside the Beatbox Club, two in the morning. SARAH: Street corner. I'd lost my purse, didn't have money for a taxi. STUART: I took her home. DOCTOR: Then what? Asked her for a date? SARAH: Wrote his number on the back of my hand. STUART: Never got rid of her since. My dad said. SARAH: I don't know what this is all about, and I know we're not important. DOCTOR: Who said you're not important? I've traveled to all sorts of places, done things you couldn't even imagine, but you two. Street corner, two in the morning, getting a taxi home. I've never had a life like that. Yes. I'll try and save you.

tears

(But also, you know. AMY POND.)

btvs becoming part 2

Listen, I know. There's so much of BTVS that's dear to me, and it's hard to pick any one thing and be happy with your choice. But I recently rewatched the first two seasons and was surprised at how much I felt during Becoming. Even as someone who is not extremely attached to Angel/Buffy, the setup and the tragedy of it is beautiful, imo, & SMG's terrific beyond words. And I am a sucker for high stakes. Also, whatever one thinks of Xander's not-telling-Buffy thing, as someone who's just watched s2 of Warrior Nun, DEAR SISTERS IN CHRIST, do I wish someone working on that show was not afraid of having a character make such a radical move. And not just in a show like Succession, where it does not weigh the same, because everyone's choices are horrible exactly all of the time, but in a show about teenagers, super-powered and not, just honest-to-god trying to prevent apocalypses. Not to mention the whole Angelus arc leading us to Buffy killing him. And the fallout from this arguably follows everyone in the main cast until the end of the show. Also, the No weapons…no friends…no hope. Take all that away and what's left? Me. Gets me every time.

twin peaks s2 finale

Still contains the single most terrifying scene I have seen in my life. Honestly, I don't even want to talk about it. Imagine the worst thing that could possibly happen in a show that is ostensibly about the struggle between good and evil and then that exact thing happening. It is horrifying in a visceral, existential way. I don't wanna talk about it, alright.

hannibal season 2 finale

Not me getting attached to fictional men, noooooooo. Why. Also, it's starting to look, as I am writing this, that I am way more into tragedy than I would normally say about myself, and I am not sure what to do with that. There's something so beautifully harrowing and horrifying about the obviously inevitable fallout from Will going through with his planned betrayal and then not being able to actually do it. Hannibal making a family for them and then taking it away. Abigail murdered by a father, again. Alana betrayed, Jack betrayed, all of them relevant victims that in their own right that command BOTH Will and Hannibal's love and respect, but in other ways utterly meaningless because of how blind & careless Will, and Hannibal in particular, can be towards people that are not Will and Hannibal. "Falling in love with a god is not a death sentence. The story is only a tragedy if the god loves you back."

the west wing season 2 finale

The tragedy, the elation, the fucking putting of hands into pockets. YOU GET HOYNES. The Brothers In Arms needle drop to stand supreme to all other needle drops.

(also i apparently have a thing for s2 finales whatdoyoudo. I guess it makes sense to some degree, because shows need to take time to become themselves and then afterwards often they go into directions you don't like. season 2, obviously for me, statistically, is when the show has found itself - whatever the show is, it is that the most in season 2, seems to be my judgment.)

[tehamelie]

Community community (1.1)

Cause Hopey loves Maggie more than anything but she's scared it can't go anywhere cause she knows Maggie is going to end up marrying some man and have three fat babies so she all but drives her away, and all Maggie wants is to be wanted, she'll go after guys who make her lady parts go brrr but what matters is she'll come to anyone who makes her feel welcome, the girls could be happy together for the rest of their days if they just. . .

What was I talking about? Oh yes, we're rewatching Community. Back in the early to mid 2010s, as a happy carefree egg, I had a lot of good times watching this show with my friends, for day after day and endless summer nights. Even the gas leak year. Well, that's the only part I only ever watched once. That will be interesting when we get to it. But then, every episode of every season is interesting anyway.

Community was never the smartest or funniest show, not the snarkiest nor the sweetest. What it is, in my opinion, is the most advanced show on television yet. Fifteen years later it still seems like it comes from twenty years in the future, taking its lessons from generations of TV no one's even made yet. Let's see:

Community S1S1: Pilot

We're introduced to the esteemed (or just steaming) dean Pelton messing up a heartfelt inspirational halfway-through-the-first-week-of-the-semester speech to an unprepared and uninterested campus, where he mainly insults several of our main characters with negative stereotypes about community college. A strong introduction to the concept of the show, to the tone it's setting, to Craig Pelton, and to Greendale Community College.

Onto Jeff Winger, a lawyer who cheated his way to his degree, got found out, and has come here to cheat his way back with the use of his good friend professor Duncan who owes him for cheating the court when he was on trial for drunk driving. Jeff is so charming and manipulative, he seems to trick many viewers into thinking he's the main character he himself thinks he is. Don't believe his lies.

And here's Pierce Hawthorne, playing hide the sausage in the cafeteria line. That's not a euphemism, thankfully. Yeah, this is a silly bit of prop comedy, but it sets up Pierce's character beautifully without a word spoken. He's bad at stuff, and he goes to extraordinary lengths to cover up his many failures even though nobody even cares (or at least they were not going to care before he crushed his hot dog into a whole stack of buns), but just to salve his own ego. Pity Chevy Chase is an asshole, but then again, it gives the show a challenge later on when his real life assholishness spills over and needs to be written around for the story; a challenge to which it rises, I think.

And then we meet Britta, or rather, Pilot Episode Britta who's sort of her own separate character from Real Britta. Pilot Britta doesn't really do a lot except be bad at Spanish and put up a sort of cardboard feminist antagonism to Jeff. Look, every show needs a season or two to work out who the characters actually are, we can forgive a few cases of what TV Tropes calls "Early installment weirdness".

Speaking of TV Tropes, I like this lunch lady who explicitly refutes the role of "Magical N***o." I'd like to think they would have cast Aloma Wright to just directly recreate her character from Scrubs for this part, if they could. Or Whoopi Goldberg and her character from Star Trek. Or, yeah, you know, it's a pattern. And Community refuses to follow these patterns.

Some more weird Britta. There's some strokes of who her character is going to be (dropped out of high school to impress Radiohead, was at a protest once) but she's obviously mainly here to be a foil/love interest to Jeff, and looking for more than that is like panning for gold in a haystack. Though in a vacuum, it's fun to watch Jeff try to contort himself into a shape he imagines will make him attractive to her.

Enter Abed, and the deconstruction begins. It is funny how quickly and intuitively he cranks up the self-awarness and self-referentialness of the scene, but I'd like to note there's much more to him. In his first scene we see how he eagerly absorbs every bit of information* about people he meets and leaps at every chance to make a connection, and here he's excited about the first text message he's ever gotten. We could see this as a guy who loves people so much they can't stand to be around him. A sort of younger, unfiltered, unselfconscious Ted Lasso, if you remember that guy who drove his wife away because she couldn't keep up with the intensity of his care and appreciation.

And here he lays the foundation for the Greendale Seven in five minutes while Jeff is away manipulating Duncan. It's possible the joke here is supposed to be Abed is so bad at reading the situation (Jeff faking a study group in order to get face time with Britta) he ends up making the group real by accident, but you know what, screw Jeff. (Or rather, don't.) That narrative hinges on us both understanding his unspoken intentions and respecting them, but I'm on Abed's side of going with this opportunity to create a friend group.

Then we enter what's called in journalist jargon a "period of unstructured discussion". Though it's hard to keep up with the chaos without pausing my DVD every two seconds, it's beautifully coreographed chaos, with each character getting a carefully weighted amount of screen time as first Pierce tries to dominate the conversation and telling far too much about himself in his efforts to introduce the other characters and then Jeff acting as whatever the opposite of a moderator is, trying to excite rather than calm the arguments.

Children get pity but not respect, and adults, they get respect. But they also get the back of their head grabbed and their face pushed through jukeboxes.

I love that Shirley's establishing character moment here has nothing to do with her ethnicity, or her motherhood, or her religion, or her weakness for gossip, or her frequent passive aggression. Just trying to be the adult when the much younger Annie challenges her, dispensing some wisdom of the elder, and getting sidetracked halfway through her bon mot with what they call a suspiciously specific personal anecdote.

Then Pierce says something that could just as well come from the mouth of Donald Trump, but if I'm going to keep count of every time that happens I'm gonna need to take a math class. Troy and Annie's high school history of unrequited crushes and drug problems come back to haunt them (well, just her), things get truly chaotic and on the verge of getting ugly but then Abed saves the day by performing a scene from The Breakfast Club. It's so lolrandom, no, not at all. He enjoys doing it because he feels the study group is like being in that movie, but it's clearly a calculated act of distraction that allows everyone to take a step back and calm down.

Picture me reenacting the shot from the first episode of Firefly where Mal says of Simon Tam "He's my hero!" Cause Abed is my hero and I also like to say things that sound like a joke when they're true but saying them earnestly would make me emotionally vulnerable.

So anyway. Jeff trades his Lexus for Duncan's car that's so tiny you have to try to keep your knees out of your face when you sit in it, because he's just that desperate to not have to learn anything in the four years he's going to go to school. I realize I may be talking Jeff down a lot, maybe even a smidge more than he deserves. Maybe it's that he reminds me of my stepbrother and I can't say too many bad things about him since he's dead. But to be fair, Jeff is going to do a lot of work to redeem himself over the course of the show.

And boy does he need it.

In my headcanon, this is the first time Jeff ever uses his powers for good. Yeah, it's a cheap, shallow manipulative speech, playing to emotions without any particular substance, relying on his force of personality in a way that if you just wrote the words down it would not convince anyone - which is as far as we can see his entire method of making arguments - and he does it explicitly just to win a dinner with Britta by fixing the mess he created, but. Here we care about the results of an act of charity, not its intentions. And the Shark Week speech does even more than tape over the group's shredded emotions and bury its conflicts and dissolve the chaos. It gives these people an excuse to bond together, like we all wish we could. It tells each of them nice things about each other. It makes a fairly compelling argument in general for trying to recognize our fellow humans' personhood and acting in the spirit of forgiveness and reconciliation.

And as we'll come to see, from this moment on, the study group becomes unstoppable.

And then in sort of a coda we get a moral about how cheating doesn't teach you anything (especially when your cheat sheets turn out to be just a stack of blank paper), a moral that even someone like Jeff or Pierce is a human being worthy of regard, a moral about doing things for yourself and not trying to either please or spite other people, a moral about bright kids having a hard time learning how to study cause they don't have to do it until they're adults, and a moral about second chances. I may have missed some. There's just a parade of morals here.

Advanced Community proofs #1: Community does in the first episode what normal TV shows do in the first season, or first couple of seasons. It's not that dense with information (that's in later seasons, where practically every shot gets loaded with freeze-frame jokes and significant props) but it does such an elegant job of blazing through the motions of having an awkward first season and then having to work to reconcile rewritten characters with history they'll have to either keep quiet or just contradict. But here we start off a half note from perfect and hit perfect from from the second episode.

Dang I spent three hours on this. Probably won't be able to do even one episode a day.

*Information is measured in bits of data. Did you know someone proved a black hole's surface area grows by one square Planck length per bit of information it absorbs? Learning!

Episode list: S1E1 (that's this page!) S1E2 S1E3 S1E4 S1E5

[messoremxvi]

I mean, I don't actually know anyone who finds Tom holland attractive. In person nor online friends. Sure, some of them think he's a bit precious, but not at the level of 'smash or pass'. I once went to a comic con last year and me and my bestie friend were talking to this guy in charge of this Game of Thrones event, and we somehow got talking about what girls found conventionally attractive. And it wasn't Tom Holland, but rather Jason Mamoa and Pedro Pascal. Apparently, according to this guy, every girl and other genders had to find one of the two attractive and be utterly obsessed with them because they were 'tall, big muscled'kinda guys. Now my friend loves Pedro Pascal, and I won't lie - he is very good looking, and a very sweet guy. But neither are my go-to men. They're - or at least Mamoa - are too muscely for my liking.

And whilst he was having this debate (and kept looking me up and down with very clearly 'I'd smash eyes), I was too busy looking at the Tywin Lannister board there because I like and find Tywin attractive (I have issues, leave me be 🤣). And when I was finally able to get a word in, I told him I wasn't either of those men kinda gurl as again, not my physical type and but rather I was more "an Egon Spengler, Arnold Rimmer kinda girl". And I kid you not, this guy just looked at me shocked. Like I was the first person to disagree and bring a whole new set of people into the mix. He even said he never would have guessed they were my types. He was more expecting, again, big built, at least a building taller than me, basic physical components that guys think girls like...Like Chris Hemsworth.....and I was just...noo. I'm at a mix of just physical and personality. But if I'm being honest, I lean far more to it.

Hell, mine are all separated into 3 types of personality - the nerd, the villian, and the authority figure.

And in those, you get ones like characters like,

Arnie, Egon, or Q

Silco, Crowley, Pengy

Or Aaron Hotchner, Dr Brenner, and Tywin for example

Personality is just.....its what makes someone attractive. What they look physically may sometimes lead to you having a physical type - but it's the same with personalities.

And I bet you now, if I went back and looked at them all - most wouldn't be seen as what's considered the same as Holland or Momoa

Plus, can you or even that guy blame me?? In their case, Egon and Arnie especially are just downright gorgeous. They don't fit what's seen as conventionally 'holland' or 'pascal and momoa' attractive. They're, like pengy - outcasts in a sense. And yet, my god, are they both perfect in their own adorably nerdy own ways. They're not outgoing or whatever people consider conventional personalities. They're nerdy, autistic, awkward, utterly, and adorably sweet when they care for someone, aswell as being standardly built guys who (to me anyway) are just off the levels attractive. They're not built, but soft - Egon especially - the curls, the glasses, the nerdy dress sense. It's just....✨️im fine✨️. Hell, I just watched the Brittas Empire for the first time last night (it's an 90s show with Chris Barrie in it (aka Rimmer), and my god, was this man's adorable. It was like watching Rimmer in a somewhat modern day and how he'd act as a gym manager. He was so cute....plus the suits....and the hair, and the little smiles he kept making....✨️im fine✨️

And it's the same for pengy because I also had and stoll have a very large crush on him since I was like....12....Since when the first ever episode of Gotham came out. I actually remember when the promo adverts were on TV, and I said to my dad, 'we're watching this' without any windows for disagreement 😂. But in the first episode, I thought Ozzie was attractive as hell. Especially as the show progressed. He has such unique features. The pointy nose, sharp jaw line, vampire hair-doo 🤣. None of what is conventionally attractive, and yet, most, if not all, my old discord online groups loved him too. He's so sarcastic, cunningly smart, and yet wears his heart completely on his sleeve and trusts pretty much anyone who's willing to give him that bit of attention and time. He's so sweet.

It's the same with Crowley from supernatural, Dracula from Young Dracula, Dr Brenner from stranger things (hush 🤣), Tywin, Rumplestiltskin. Non of them are what is considered modern generation 'conventionally attractive' and yet, I've heard more on them and others, than people like Tom Holland, the guy from Dune and Wonka (I keep forgetting his name), Pedro, Momoa, and so on. The most I hear about Tom Holland is about his time as Spiderman, rather than him as an attractive person.

I dont know anything on the lady side, though. But I can say that just because society digs someone as being unattractive, that doesn't mean they aren't attractive at all. Because there's so many people out there like us who think they are.

i forget that people actually think that like. tom holland is the hottest man alive. and find men who don’t look like him genuinely ugly. like i come onto tumblr dot com and everyone wants to fuck that guy with the big nose that guy who’s “too fat” that guy who’s “too skinny” that guy with the eye bags or the moles or the uneven teeth or the whatever. i’m so used to seeing people online (Especially in fandom spaces) find men who don’t fit the eurocentric beauty standard Hot and dare i say even Hotter than people who fit said standard. maybe there’s something to be said about the amount of “outcasts” who find solace in online fandom the amount of queer people and other marginalized groups who are tired of tom holland Hot Guy copy pastes being the standard.

anyways. i recently showed a picture of ..oswald cobblepot from gotham😭 to a group of mostly cishet mostly white friends of mine. and they all acted like i’d just pulled out a picture of a smashed bug and said “yeah i’d hit”.. which shocked me a bit? like yes he’s not tom holland (no idea why he’s the Beauty Standard Hot Guy i’ve chosen just go w it ❤️) but i go onto my instagram story and say “smash or pass” with these pictures

and everyone “wants him” or whatever the kids r saying. like those awful eurocentric beauty standards are still very real and very awful and it’s kind of incredible how there r places on the internet where they are basically null and void. not just that, but also practically reversed. i’d bet money that if oswald cobblepot was played by a tom holland type guy there would be a Completely different group of people who “want him” .

now Obviously there isn’t a Complete flip in these fandom spaces of the beauty standard, as things like whiteness and thinness and youngness are still often sought after Along with like. a hooked nose. and like. oswald cobblepot isn’t even That “conventionally unattractive” or whatever. i only use him as an example bc that “incident” is what got me thinking about this. and it Definitely should be mentioned that it seems this phenomenon Rarely occurs when it comes to female characters/women. idk i’m sure there’s a way more sophisticated and insightful way to talk about this but i’m just an internet rando not a scholar. let’s just hope that someday my irl tom holland appreciating friends and people online alike will all be able to agree that oswald cobblepot is hot. and that Anyone can look a little different a lot different whatever and be desired just the same (bam. ended on a magical puppies and rainbows perfect world life lesson as all good late night tumblr rants do)

[kimpossibly]

[001] BEING THE YOUNGEST IN THE STUDY GROUP (nbc community headcanons)

Because I am talking about a big group, I made a little color-coded list so there should be no confusion as to who is speaking! Also, this is set about halfway through season one, so that explains the timeline.

Reader = Purple Jeff = Blue Britta = Orange Annie = Yellow Abed = Green Troy = Red Shirley = Pink

pairing: fem!reader x platonic!community warnings: none

The choice to go to community college hadn't exactly been an ideal one

You had accidentally filled out all your actual college applications wrong and didn't realize they never went through until all the application dates had passed.

So, weighing your options, you decided that Greendale was your best option.

By then you had to enroll in all the leftover classes that still had spots open

You had taken French all throughout high school and barely retained a word of it. You'd hoped to jump into some French classes for an easy A, but all of the French classes had already filled up.

The solution? Spanish 101.

You showed up to the first day of class determined to make the best of the awful hand you had been dealt.

And surprise, surprise! Spanish was nothing like French.

The teacher was a little kooky and he severely overestimated how much work his students could do before the next class.

Before you knew it, you were drowning in work that you didn't know how to do and suddenly your grade started to drop.

When your next door neighbor took a liking to blasting loud music while you were trying to study, you decided to head to one of the study rooms to try and be productive.

But when you got there, you found the table was already full of people.

"Oh! My bad, sorry-"

You tried to leave, but, due to your immense surprise, one of the girls at the table recognized you.

"Hey, wait - aren't you in our Spanish class?"

Before you could confirm, someone answered for you.

"Yeah. She sits in the third row and color codes all her notes."

You looked at him in confusion.

"I'm Abed."

And then another woman in the room smiled at you.

"You color code your notes?"

You nodded and took them out to show her, but a douchey looking guy in a leather jacket scoffed.

"The only people who color code notes are horse girls and psychopaths."

Four years of going to public school has made you immune to assholes...and excellent at shutting them down.

So you slapped down your color coded notes and took the chair beside him.

"I bet this psychopath's color coded notes can teach you more Spanish in five minutes than an entire semester of whatever blow-off class you're taking."

And again, to your surprise, he almost looked impressed.

"I'm Jeff Winger."

"Y/n L/n."

And just like that, you were in.

You met with the group every day after class to work on the Spanish homework and study for upcoming tests and quizzes

But, to be honest, you guys weren't always great at staying on task.

"Okay, um... yo nací en mil novecientos noventa y dos."

"Hang on, that can't be right. You just said you were born in 1992."

"No, that's right."

"Y/n, that would make you seventeen."

"...Yeah?"

Needless to say, they kinda lost it.

"You're even younger than me! Wait, I'm not the youngest anymore? Ha! Suck it, Y/n!"

"I started school a year early and I have a late birthday! I don't know what the big deal is."

"No big deal, I just didn't know that there was a child in our midst."

"I am not a child."

"Aw, look at them pouting! They're so little and adorable."

Thus began your long journey of trying to prove to your friends that you were not a child.

Your first step? Changing up your look.

And boy did you turn some heads when you walked into the study room in a leather jacket and thick eyeliner

"Okay Wednesday Addams, give us our Y/n back and no one gets hurt."

"Jeff, I'm trying to prove a point."

"Is the point that you lost a bet with the cosmetology class?"

So...yeah. That didn't go as well as you were hoping.

Even so, they stuck by you through all of your erratic, split second decisions that you made without really considering the consequences

Like when you walked into the first day of second semester with bangs you had cut yourself over the break.

Surprisingly, Abed seemed to be the one most enthusiastic about them.

“It’s likely that we’ve just began a new season, so one of the main characters changed up their look to provide a jumping off point and to keep viewers interested.”

Silence followed…

“I like them.”

“Aw, thanks Abed!”

But, obviously, you endured some teasing—mostly from Jeff.

“Okay, remind me not to let Mia Wallace near a pair of scissors ever again.”

“Did you just Google ‘female characters with bangs’ and use the first one on the list?”

"…No.” (Jeff said as he slyly put his phone back in his pocket.)

The group became like a family to you, but sometimes you missed your family

Especially when they called and said that they couldn't make it to Family Day. You had had the sneaking suspicion that they were disappointed that you ended up at Greendale, but this seemed to confirm it.

You did your best not to let on how upset you were by brushing it off when you were asked.

"Y/n, how worried should I be about interacting with your parents on a scale of Helicopter Mom to Cougar?"

"Actually, my parents aren't coming to Family Day."

"Oh no, why not?"

"They were just busy. It's fine, I saw them a couple weeks ago. No big deal."

Family day approached and you were actually feeling pretty okay about the situation. Acting like you didn't care had actually made you not care, which you thought at the time was a good thing.

But as you sat in the quad and watched everyone walk around with their relatives, talking and touring, you realized just how upset you really were.

So you left.

You found yourself hunched over your Spanish textbook in the empty study room reading the same sentence over and over and mindlessly writing unhelpful notes that you'd never actually study.

You weren't sure how long you'd been there before you noticed someone looking over your shoulder.

"That's odd, these Spanish notes are in black and white."

"I wasn't in the mood to color code. Plus Abed stole all my pens to make mini lightsabers."

Jeff sat next to you, taking your textbook and notebook and placing them on the other side of the table.

"Look, I know that I spend a lot of time trying to act like I'm older than I am, but I'm still a kid. Know how I know? Because I miss my mom and dad. I was always a little afraid to leave home, so when I had to come here for school, I had to admit that I felt a little relieved to be only an hour away from where I grew up. I felt safer knowing my parents would only be a short car ride away. But now it just feels like they might as well be on the other side of the country. I know they're disappointed I didn't go to an Ivy League or get to go out of state for college, but I wish they'd just get over it and accept it. I have. Why can't they?"

Jeff never considered himself particularly good at the advice thing. Sure, he could talk until hell froze over and manipulate anyone into doing his bidding, but he could never figure out how to make sad people be less sad. You may have been young, but you weren't naive - he knew that.

He saw you now like a younger sibling rather than a jury member or someone he was trying to con. So he decided to speak accordingly.

"People are stupid. Parents are stupid. Greendale may not be Ivy League, but it's something. You could've blown off college and stayed at home where it's safe, but you didn't. You cared enough to pack your stuff, drive sixty minutes away, rob an entire Office Depot, and enroll in the last classes they had available. You did all that because you care. And if they can't see that, then that's on them. I may not know a whole lot about warm, fuzzy, familial relationships, but I do know this: you have a family here at Greendale. A weird, messed up, occasionally problematic family. So screw Family Day. We're a study group. And I wouldn't trade that for the world."

You hadn't expected to tear up, but you did anyway. You said nothing and hugged Jeff, who reluctantly returned it.

"I'll steal your pens back from Abed."

"Thanks."

The rest of the year progressed smoothly. Sure, you guys had your ups and downs of course, but you always found yourselves back in the group study room after class

But that, you supposed, was what a family did.

Author's Note: Can you tell I'm obsessed with Community??? Ugh this was so fun to write, I genuinely love the headcanon format because it's how my brain just functions, so this was really good for me to write to get out of my head for a bit. It's also funny bc this is how it is with my friend group, all of which are in college except for me, so it was fun to draw from some real life experiences. I hope you guys had a lovely week and I hope this makes you smile! Much love 💗🖤