#looking for people to talk about sky and them because i have no irl friends and i think i already like a controversy part of the fandom

[aemiruo]

Valley Elders.

[fantasywr1te]

IMPORTANT FYI POST

I just want to get the following off my chest since there seems to be a lot of discussion today of these topics on the dash.

I write mostly trans-masc muses because I myself am trans masc. Due to lack of funds and because I am living in Trump's America I have not undergone any physical transitions. However I would love to not have breasts -- a fact you can see translated when I write my trans muses as having top surgery scars. I tend to use the word c.vnt when referring to their private parts because such terminology is what I'm familiar with. Some of my trans male muse would be okay getting pregnant, some wouldn't. I tend to write trans masc muses the most because I resonate with their gender & experience. I love and adore women but I am forced to pretend to be one for the sake of safety when at work and out in public so when it comes to my hobbies I rarely portray femme muses because I feel like I need a break from pretending to be a woman. This does not mean I hate women! Please don't make wild assumptions about me like that. I do write some femme muses on a superhero multimuse I have and also on vampiheir.

2. Some people ruffle their feathers when reading this rule (see screenshot) regarding my Japanese muses (Kenichi here & Shinobu on vampiheir). The reason I had to make this rule is because I had a user I had 0 common mutuals with send me hostile DMs back when I wrote Zuko from ATLA. She basically accused me of being racist because my rules stated I was uncomfortable interacting with people who used Ian Ousley as a faceclaim because it is unclear if he is native or not (Sokka is a native character). She insisted that Ian was native. I did my own research and it was unclear if he was native or not... I reached out to some native RP helpers who have a sort of 'ask a native person' RP help server and explained the situation to them. They agreed it was unclear Ian if Ian is native or not and that it would be okay if I maintained my rule of not interacting with people who used him as a faceclaim. Because I refused to interact with the angry DM person's hostile messages she vagued about me, a friend of hers vagued about me. A friend of hers also tried to follow me multiple times despite me blocking them. Additionally while looking for images of a faceclaim for Zuko I accidentally liked a post made by a KRP. A different user saw me like that post and vague about me and about how awful she felt white people are. The above reasons is why I've limited to processing feedback regarding BIPOC muses from mutuals only. I love to learn and appreciate constructive criticism.

3. Connected to the above, as an autistic person, Japan, China & Korea have been special interests of mine for a long time. I like to joke that I've gotten the 'I obsess over very specific things autism instead of the super smart math whiz autism.' I've taken classes in Japanese, Korean & Mandarin and have taken a few East Asian history classes. I often research things on my own time and am continuing to study Japanese. I am not perfect, I know research will be an ongoing process for me, and I know as a white person I will spend my whole life unpacking internalized racism my position as a white person has granted me with. I know mistakes can be unavoidable and would like to be given a chance to learn from mistakes instead of ranted and raved about in negative ways.

4. I know that my multimuse (fantasywr1te) could use some more visibly BIPOC characters. It is something I am working on but I am really slowing down and taking my time. When I add characters I want them to be fleshed out, not just random faces for the sake of diversity (I do think diversity is important!)

5. Also just because I don't talk a lot about politics on my RP blogs doesn't mean I'm a bootlicker. I'm pro-Gaza, irl I'm an art teacher who uses musuem backed resources to teach students about female, BIPOC & LGBT+ artists, I often make protest art on my personal blue sky and I have donated to mutual aid funds. I don't talk about it a lot here because RP is my break space and I also don't feel like I need to brag about doing the bare minimum (I'm just attempting to be a decent human being after all).

Do with this information what you will. If you chose to block me please block me on all of my blogs so I don't accidentally follow you.

Happy Thursday,

Nika.

[cat-esper]

WIP Questionnaire

I was tagged to do this by @teacupsandstarlight

In return, I shall be gently tagging @awleeofficial, @illarian-rambling, and @ahordeofwasps + open tag!

Questions:

What was the first part of your wip that you created?

The Enochians. The initial inspiration for Records was actually Peter Mohrbacher's artwork which I saw at a con. I imagined a world where these vast and horrific angels just appeared in the sky over a world that was basically their sandbox. All I had to figure out was who lived in the world and what they would do about it.

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

I picture Records having a whole intro title and credits sequence with very 80s CGI fantasy landscapes to this song here:

The fictional band Red Tape Rocket plays an important role in this series and I based their sound on my very favorite irl band, the Moody Blues, so there's a fun fact for you.

Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

Definitely Sydney and Dell. Sydney's a girl who struggles to see herself in a positive light after being told again and again that she's worthless by members of her own family while being quietly brushed aside by the people who are supposed to care. So when she ends up on the Spiral, it's very much a journey of self-discovery and learning to be confident in herself and boy, do I want to give her a hug.

Dell started out as an email attachment that, due to some strange reality-warping shenanigans, gains sentience on Reyna's computer. She's super excited to speak with him and teach him things because her life is sad and she has no friends and he ends up leading her on a quest to the Spiral. I already know he's going to be fun to write because AI/robots always end up my favorites anyway XD

What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

I've always thought this would make a cool Jim Henson movie so probably fans of weird, dark surreal fantasy like Labyrinth or The Dark Crystal would like it.

What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

Probably getting everything to fit together in a way that makes sense but also allowing myself to leave certain elements a mystery. Usually when I plan my magic systems, I like to make hard rules for them but the Spiral is home to an eldritch skeleton thing that literally warps reality so anything can happen.

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Depends what constitutes animals, I guess. I have a lot of strange creatures that inhabit the Spiral but all of them are sentient (yes, even the sandstone), so I guess they'd be more like fantasy races than animals. But they include the Varixxi, moth-like winged humanoids, the Aroon, clay pot tortoise-looking guys, and the Keem-Torali, which look like tentacled Horta that secrete acid and chill in extremely salty water.

How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

Walking mostly or, if they're lucky, my characters may catch a ride on a Colossus, but they're very hard to climb on to and you have to be careful not to get stepped on. Incidentally, there's also the molted exoskeleton of an eldritch abomination that sometimes becomes a portal when someone dies next to it, but that's not very practical.

What part of your wip are you working on rn?

I've actually been taking a little break from this so I can focus on Incantations but I really want to have my draft of book 1 finished by the end of the year.

What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

This is pure, old school portal fantasy escapism. The main characters are all unhappy in their normal lives, wish for something more, and they get it. They're not your traditional heroes, but they get to save the world anyway.

What are your hopes for your wip?

If this story and these characters resonate with at least one person and can help them get through the day, I'll be content.

Records of the Spiral taglist: @awleeofficial , @desastreus

General taglist: @thatrandomlemononyourcounter1, @teacupsandstarlight

Blank questionnaire below the cut:

What was the first part of your wip that you created?

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

What part of your wip are you working on rn?

What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

What are your hopes for your wip?

[purple-heart-x]

im back????

bet y'all thought i was dead.

pretty much felt like it but ummmm nope!

gonna give a life update and then a writing update, and I'm gonna absolutely RAMBLE, so here are some TRIGGER WARNINGS: homelessness/getting kicked out, chronic illness mentions, mental health/depression, murder threat/death threat, knife mention. lmk if i forgot any.

And a tldr- became homeless, entered a shelter, got therapy, met amazing people who still support me to this day, got sick, finally agreed to return home to my parents (and cat!) and been here ever since. Except now I'm collecting diagnoses like Pokémon and it's not stopping :') I've been so burnt out that I haven't written in a while, but now I'm happy to announce that I have started again! A Trade is definitely continuing, And The Sky Grew Light may as well, and pls do request or send ideas, I'll be happy to try and write some!!

And as for the longer version~

SO, where to start where to start...

First of all, where I've been. As I mentioned here, last year, I was kicked out of my parents' home without warning. I had returned two days before from a trip to meet my best friend irl, and both refused to say a single word to me. I woke up and noticed my mother was gone, which was strange on her part, so I decided to snoop through her stuff to see what she was planning. I found notes on what they planned to do with me, plus an (unofficial) contract in which I would have to pay them nearly $1700 for the birthday they gave me, which was so that my best friend and I could visit NYC, see some tourist attractions, and stay in a hotel. All of which they had been clear before was a gift.

In those notes, they also intended to forcibly take my mental health medications, force me to quit my job and university, and completely remove any access I had to the internet as a way to "rid me of my double life" (and what double life they were talking about, I STILL have no clue). My computer, which was a major source of relief from depression and anxiety for me through playing Valorant and writing, was also missing (which was also a birthday gift).

So I did what I bet anyone would do-- I panicked. I was hurt. They had ruined possibly the best thing that happened to me by plotting this while I was away. So I grabbed all of my important documents- my ID, insurance, bank cards, birth certificate, etc, and my meds into a big backpack and the door opened. My mother came in and, after a confrontation, she tried to step towards me, to which I yanked away my bag because those medications were her target. Eventually, I ran past her and out the door. I guess she didn't believe I had the guts to leave, because she just told me that if I left, I wasn't welcome back and slammed the door.

I did leave. I cried my eyes out, walked down the street, and bought a suitcase from a store down the road. I called my social worker, who set me up to be picked up by a crisis center, since I was also distressed and deep into one of my first panic attacks (yay!).

I was placed in a shelter about an hour from my home, one of the better ones in the area, and quickly adjusted to life. I got a job, learned to support myself, and even got some classes in so that one day I can return to school! It was terrifying to leave with basically nothing, I was highly dependent on thrift shops for all of my clothing and daily needs. I met good people and bad- ranging from a woman I now call my adopted mom to a woman caught faking her pregnancy and hiding a kitchen knife under her pillow after she had threatened me and adopted mom. I was slowly sinking into debt, but managing to live decently.

What changed that was repeatedly getting staph infections and unshakeable colds. I'd been healthy for most of my life, so it was odd. (Now I look back and see the signs of autoimmune disorders and Hidradenitis Suppurativa, a skin condition in which the body develops boils that easily get infected.) Defeated and unable to sleep at night for fear the knife-wielding housemate would try something, I eventually did decide to return back to my parents' home for the sake of my health, drawing several major boundaries before even considering. 

Life isn't perfect, and I still have plans to move out once I can. But, more importantly, it seems my health was tanking while I was away and unable to afford doctors' visits. Currently I have-- Type 1.5 Diabetes (autoimmune), fatty liver disease, suspected autoimmune hepatitis or primary biliary cholangitis (non alcoholic liver damage), acanthosis nigrosis (a skin condition), hidradenitis suppurativa (an autoimmune skin condition), Hashimoto's Disease (autoimmune), Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (autoimmune), Celiac Disease pending review (autoimmune), Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), Major Depressive Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Trauma and Stressor Disorder, ADHD, Social Anxiety, Restless Leg Syndrome, Lumbopelvic Pain Syndrome, suspected neuropathy and, last but not least, a suspected slipped spinal disc that has forced me to use a cane!!!! (If you're counting, that's 6 autoimmune conditions in the last 6 months!!)

It's been a wild ride. I learned a lot about navigating the medical system and advocating for myself. It's been difficult facing this alone, but I've managed so far. I'm still in a lot of pain and seeking answers, and due to the numerous doctors appointments, procedures, a biopsy, and more, I can't return to university yet. I'm working full time now, at an urgent care, and spend the rest of my time on Discord... and now Tumblr.

Man! It's good to be back!! Thanks for listening to my little ramble :)

[helpimhopelesslyinlove]

I know its ooc for this acc, but i need to vent, or ill do something stupid and potentially dangerous, so im here, baring my soul to stangers on the internet ive never met irl before-

I think I got too close to the sun becuase I feel like I'm in a free fall rn and I can't get a hold of anything and I know I'm about to hit the ground, hard, buti don't know when or how far the ground still is or if I'm even going to land on spill ground because what if I fall into a bunch of rocks and die or fall into the ocean, I never learned to swim properly, I can BARELY keep myself afloat, and I know I'm going to die anyway from how high up I'm falling but I don't know when it's gonna be and everyone keeps telling me that I've got this all I have to do is open the parachute but the cord isn't working my parachute isn't working I don't know what to do some of the people who are supposed to be here for me are sitting on the ground watching me fall with a smile and a bucket of popcorn, the others who would catch me can't because they're all the way across the world, and I don't know what to do but everyone expects me to, I should have my life figured out already, everyone else my age seems to, why can't I, why am I like this why can't I just fly like everyone else why did my wings have to fail so miserably when my support system is down and will take at least two to three years before they're back up I need help someone send help please I need to talk to someone and I can't bc the people who'd want to can't do anything about it and the people who could help are convinced I can do it myself I hat being the oldest daughter and the oldest cousin, why do I have so many people looking up to me as a role model I'm a terrible role model if anything I'm more of a warning Hazzard don't do that sign why do all the adults keep saying I need to be perfect so my little siblings and cousins have a role model why where was my role model because my parents sure as fuck weren't it and they're always saying they didn't raise a quitter, well no shit they didn't raise me I fucking raised myself I'm at a point where I can't even talk about this out loud without crying I litterally had a three hour anxiety attack+mental breakdown and my parents still think I'm perfectly fine why did I have to move everyone's always telling me to believe in God and I have but if not a single thing I needed went right how do I keep believing I don't feel like the sky or the statues are listening anymore and I'm happy they do listen for others and I'm glad other people have a good relationship with their religions and their parents and people in general becuase I feel like crying whenever my favorite teacher used to say I did a good job at an event or said she was proud of me becuae she's said, word for word, many many times "I know it's not my place to tell you, but your parents won't, I know, so I will tell you- I'm so proud of you" and i- thank you you have no idea how much it means to me, but much as I appreciate it, you're not who I need to hear it from and it makes me cry because my culinary teachers were better parents to me in the one year I knew and had them than my parents were my entire like and I don't think that's okay, or that i should feel like crying evrytime I see my friends or anyone having a good relationship with their parents and I can't take this anymore please save me from school I know I used to complain but I've never actually hated it and now just the thought makes me feel sick and I used to love going to school and learning but now I'd litterally have take prometheus' placement eaten alive by vultures everyday than go to school again please help i can't live through another year and a half of this torture please help I can't do this please

[httpiastri]

some quick notes from your previous reply (i’m sorry i took so long ive been so busy recently but i finally have time now so):

firstly, i hope i never meet a handball player irl, ever. the fact that you just casually know people above 200cm?? i’m sorry but i’d actually feel like a pest around everyone 😓😓 (plus id get really jealous of heights) and id also be terrified to even stand near anyone close to 200 pls

and omg the fact that the guy who got you into coaching recently passed? i hope you’re doing okay 😓🙏 but if it helps— he may not have known how much he changed your life, but through coaching, you’re basically keeping his legacy alive, yeah? i think it matters, personally, that people are remembered and honoured and you’re kinda doing that through coaching, because you’re kinda solidifying (if that’s the right word for it) the fact that he existed, and he did enough good to change the lives of people for the better, and that his time here on earth wasn’t all in vain because he did good and he brought joy to people like you by leading you to being a coach and that his impact lives on even when he’s gone yk? it’s a form of closure, i think— to know that even if someone is gone now, there are pieces of them scattered behind in little things (in your case, in your daily life as a coach), and that not all is lost, just a little harder to find

also oops the fact that i called them girls even though they’re only a barely a few years younger than me 😭😭

and omg pepe would 100% make me feel comfortable meeting him at a race even if he might be stressed and no way you got to go to races at 8?? you had a chance to be one of those cute kids probably decked out in merch (if no merch was involved you probably got to scream happily at everything and good for you😭😭 because thats exactly how races should be experienced)

finding sponsors can’t be that hard… we could infiltrate the space in various ways im sure (my friend’s mum knows someone who works for Marlboro that gets invited to races bc the company was an EX-sponsor so anything’s possible)

on a rather unrelated note— pepe’s been acting very much like a muse for me recently… whatever that might mean… (might even be nothing honestly sometimes i don’t know what i mean either)

anyway! as always, i hope you have a lovely lovely friday, and weekend, and june (pepe’s month!), and that people are kind to you and that the sky looks beautiful and gorgeous all the time ❤️❤️

- 🪷💗

gosh dont apologize :( esp since you know im bad at answering….. its alright 🥺 just glad to hear from you 🥺🥺

shdjdhd it do be scary to meet really tall people!! when im around the men's team i work with sometimes, i almost get neck pains bcs staring up at them is so hard 😵‍💫 and i have this other job where i have to like sit by the court and do things for the match, and when players come over to talk to me and they literally tower over me???? insane 😶 but yes i too get jealous of heights, esp since in handball it's good for girls to be tall too so everyone around me is always tall asf? ive always been considered to be a tall person in school but at 175cm i am nowadays considered short in the team i currently play in 😐😐😐 so yes i feel u aaa (also several of the girls i coach are my height already and just. pls stop growing, you're scaring me. 🥲)

ALSO OMFG i almost forgot to answer this but i had a thought yesterday.... about my favorite volleyball player being 188cm and i thought "hm that's not very far off from pepe" so of course i have now started thinking about volleyball player!pepe 😶 idk if you enjoy volleyball aaaaaaa but i just thought about his height and his big ass hands that would make hitting the ball easier and just..........

thank you, im doing okay but it's still weird to imagine? because i haven't really had anyone close to me (or even semi-close) pass away so it's a very new experience, being in his neighborhood (very close to where i live) and thinking "oh what if i see him in the shop like that day-" before realizing... but god you put it in such a sweet way, im lowkey teary eyed :( i will continue to do my best to keep his legacy alive and honor him through my coaching!!! he created this thing that became so important to me and for that i will be forever thankful. but yes i agree, it means that he brought more meaning to my life and therefor also the girls i coach, and that's such a beautiful thing. it's life, i guess 😭 so hard but also so sweet...

skdjfhdjjf dont worry, i call them "children" to their faces very often even though some are even 16 😁 but to be fair ive known a lot of them since they were nine so to me they're still babies :(( also you being that young and still so smart is so cool and cute aaa

no because i have imagined meeting pepe MANY times and i really really think he would be so sweet about it. very happy that i recognize him and like "aw hey it's okay! no tears please" when i cry 😭 and i think he also would agree to do a silly pose with me for a photo aksjdhfjkdf 😭 i sadly didn't buy a lot of merch BUT (did i mention this already?? then i will be so insanely embarrassed....) we did get me a kimi lotus cap for obvious reasons 🥺 that i still have to this day actually !!! and ofc we took a pic of me next to the lotus truck 🤭 (also realizing now that i wasn't 8, i was 9 or 10 🤣 well well)

oh! then i think we can pretend to be your friend's mum's friend's kids? so we should also be invited?? or maybe we just need to get a job somewhere that has connections and can invite us..... to be fair my dad wrote to dino beganovic's manager or something about sponsoring him just for funsies (idk how u mean to sponsor someone just for fun tho 😶 he was like "what if i get my company's logo on his car and in return we get to come into the paddock once?..."), but then the manager responded with a full deal and stuff and my dad just got scared 😭 but we should keep looking, i'm sure we can find a good sponsor for us 🥰

aaaaa that's so sweet 🥺 i love that 🥺🥺🥺 if you feel like talking further about it, im all ears 🥰

aw dalring i hope you have an even lovelier lovely friday and week and month and year !!! and yes yes pepe's month, i think it will be very good to us all (esp him!!!!!!!) 🥰 i think that maybe the world listened to your ask because the sunset was so gorgeous tonight 🥺 so thank you for that <3<3

[milo-hypno]

hello! i don’t typically use tumblr so i apologize if the formatting is odd, but i wanted to just express my absolute gratitude for eventually the birds must land so i am taking the leap of faith and doing so by starting off with:

wow.

just wow. genuinely, i have not read a fic in a very long time [possibly ever, in the years i’ve spent consuming fanfiction] that has elicited the type of emotions i’m feeling in the way that eventually the birds must land does. i’ve kept up with the work since the first update and have been hooked ever since, these past few updates leaving me constantly thinking about how the plot could go next [expectations always exceeded,] the interactions the chapter held, just rereading upon rereading segments eagerly awaiting the next update [as patiently as i could, of course.]

it left me to vaguely talk about my excitement to my irl friends, who fortunately know about my tendency to consume literature like it’s nobody’s business. that was a bit insane in itself because i never talk about fics to anyone!! i simply felt so compelled to express how crazy i was going over a fic of all things because of how beautifully written and inspiring it was, is even, and i’m very much not the type to do so.

of course, after realizing you had also written the sky was still, honestly, blue, all goes outward and onward, and home, home again [the series i still go insane about and reread occasionally, mind you] i realized i probably shouldn’t be shocked that of all the writers to create something so absolutely heartwarming and overwhelmingly human, it was you milo hypno-cat.

and so, thank you for creating these pieces and sharing them to the world, they are always a joy to read and i do hope you’ll continue for as long as you enjoy writing. eventually the birds must land got me through a lot these past few months, and i wouldn’t have it any other way. enjoy the holidays if you celebrate and i look forward to reading the other one-shots you add to the universe, if you choose to write them!

Hi Anon!! Sorry for the delay - I've been in a lot of pain in the past few days, and wanted to wait to answer this until I was feeling a bit better!

Firstly- your formatting is just fine, and I'm very touched that you came to Tumblr to send this!!!

Secondly- i am so touched, reading this. You don't know how much I beamed, when this dropped into my Dms. To know that my writing affected you like this, made you reread and reread and drove you to talk about it to other people??? To drive you outside of your normal habits because you enjoyed it so much? That's- a definite ego boost. I'm incredibly honored, and pleased, to hear that. I can't even tell you how much pride it brings me!

Thank you so very much. So very much. I'm glad my writing has been able to reach you like it has, multiple times - and I promise that I certainly will keep writing, as long as my brain continues to think and my fingers continue to flex!

(I plan on getting published eventually, even, but it's definitely a challenge LOL!)

I'm sorry if this is a mess, I'm still recovering and my brain is a little mush right now - but the essence is this. Thank you for reading, and enjoying what I write, and enjoying it so much that it drove you to send me such a sweet and lovely message. I really, really, appreciate it.

[sureuncertainty]

so i saw a great post about how everyone needs to stop just telling queer people to leave red states, and it made me want to publish this post I’ve had in the drafts for awhile now, a list of things I love about Florida, after living here for two years (as a queer trans person who moved HERE from a liberal state):

- summer storms are just. so sexy. (when I’m home and not going to be outside in them)

- the sky is so so big here, the sunsets and sunrises are absolutely gorgeous and I get to see both, because I get up early for work now, and every single time they take my fucking breath away

- the humidity is so good for my skin, the horrible eczema that has plagued me for almost all of my life is literally just. gone now. oh my god. it’s amazing.

- i love that it stays light later than it ever did back home. in the summer the sun doesn’t go down until almost 9pm every night, and it’s not like FULLY dark until practically 10

- the way the sunset after it storms in the evening makes it look like the entire world has a filter put on it (and the thing that inspired me to make this post in the first place)

- this is more area specific I suppose but this area is so much more diverse than where i’m from, and it’s been so cool to get to live in a city with a lot of tourism because I get to meet people from all over the world every day (one of the reasons I moved here in the first place)

- the way i never have to drive in the snow ever

- LITTLE LIZARD GUYS. EVERYWHERE. THEY ARE MY FRIENDS. AND I LOVE THEM

I’ve honestly loved it here since moving here and don’t regret it even with all the bullshit happening right now. It’s scary everywhere and I see so much negativity for this state with no regard for the people who are here and even most of the people i see online that live in florida are constantly talking about how they want to leave so bad, which like, obviously valid, but like what about those of us who actually like it here? I moved here specifically and I love it. I have a really cool unique job and I get to be out as trans and partially out as a system irl which would basically NEVER be possible back home bc of how many people are too connected to who I used to be. moving here gave me a chance to start over and i appreciate that a lot

also yeah there are miserable aspects to it but there are good things too, like literally anywhere!

[smilesrobotlover]

Ok Smiles I couldn’t find it anywhere but I’d love commentary on any part of that fic you wrote where Blue is touchstarved and the other colors comfort him abddhffh I love that one

-Sky Floor

Don’t worry bestie I got you. It’s right here

Ok, I honestly don’t know where I got the idea to write Blue the way I did. In the manga he’s a very angry and tough guy but he has a soft spot (he cries when they say goodbye :() so imagined it all goes a lot deeper than just anger. Originally I was gonna have Leon comfort Blue in the end but I decided it would’ve been better if the colors comforted him so that I have all of them in one fic you know? Now, I’m not a neat person, I don’t keep my room clean and while I do occasionally organize things, I’m not neat like Blue is. However I think I am very shy and reclusive and I really projected that onto him. I mean he doesn’t have that many connections in the manga. Green is the most like Link and is the leader and so I imagine that he and Zelda get along the best, Vio was close with Shadow, and while he’s rude too I don’t think he’d be shy. And Red is just a little Angel who I feel like would keep in touch with Erune and the kids! But Blue didn’t have that many connections to me. Except with the colors of course

Now the part where he looks for Green and Zelda and hears their laughter and decides not to join them is def something I’ve felt. The self consciousness and believing that people really don’t enjoy being around you is rough, they probably feel obligated to be around you and are just being polite. And it’s hard when you don’t know if they’re being genuine or polite. So you start to spiral into overthinking it all. Blue feels sad hearing Green and Zelda having fun and he doesn’t want to ruin anything, so he decides to stay alone. You know in movies or irl when you hear laughter and it just makes you feel hollow? Yeah that’s what I was trying to convey there.

The most frustrating part of being very shy and introverted is that you do eventually feel lonely. Whether you like it or not, humans are social creatures and we NEED connections. Even tho I can be alone for a while, I need to at least talk to someone. Blue has spent a lot of time alone and he begins to feel left out and hated and all that stuff. He can handle being alone, but not for a long time. And the most annoying thing is that there’s a simple solution to loneliness, go out, socialize, make friends, all that. But it’s really not that easy. I’ve been told so many times that I need to go out and be with people more, and I KNOW that, I know that I get lonely and I know that I need to at least hang out with some people sometimes, but It’s HARD. It’s so hard and people who don’t struggle socially DO NOT understand how hard it is. I feel like I get super anxious whenever I’m in small groups of people where I have to hold up some conversation, big groups is fine but going to a grocery store or trying to find a job or calling someone on the phone is scary and I hate it, and no one seems to understand it. I tried to convey this with Blue, and even the blame that I put on myself on him. He keeps saying that it’s his fault that he’s lonely and that he’s friendless. He won’t go out and talk to people, he won’t make the effort to reach out, therefore HE shouldn’t have the right to even complain about it because HE can solve the issue so easily. And he doesn’t feel like he can talk to people about it because they’ll say “you need to go out and socialize” or something like that so he doesn’t say anything cuz it’s his fault. I just kinda wish that some people understood that not everyone’s strong enough to reach out on their own. And that just talking to people can be terrifying.

And the part where Blue is watching everyone have fun, and the feeling of being left out. It HURTS. It’s hurts so bad, and it’s worse cuz you know that the problem will be solved if you just move to join them and to have fun but you’re so upset that you don’t know how to do anything else except to curl up alone in your room. You don’t know if you’ll even be in the write mood to have fun, you don’t know if you’ll ruin their fun with your presence, you don’t know if they even want you there. I’ve def felt that too many times and it’s so so hard. Now the part where the colors come in and comfort him hasn’t actually happened to me eheh…. But it was needed for him. The colors love Blue and they do want to be with him, Blue was just overthinking and they didn’t know that he was feeling that way because he didn’t say anything. Also the nickname blueberry I felt was very cute lol. And it’s def something Red would call him.

Idk I’m not a touchy person but sometimes a hug goes a long way, sometimes you may need a hug. And yeah, that’s all I have to say about that dhksbsksbsk hope it was a fun read and I’m glad you like it!

[the-blorb-system]

I'm gonna follow borh what you said here and mine to define mine then

- Source Game Wise

That probably has to be either Time, or Four for me. I absolutely fell in love with Minish cap- like that's solidly the game which got me into playing any of the games myself. I have solidly the same amount love I have for the manga of FSA for the minish cap game. It reeks of childhood and nostalgia for me. As for Time- well I always felt extreme bouts of odd nostalgia when it came to Majora's mask, although I was never part of the loz fandom until like early 2023.

All I knew about loz till then was that there's a princess named zelda and a man who protect her, and both of them are blond haired elves in a medieval fantasy world. Oh yeah, and the fact there was a game that released in about 2017 that was named breath of the wild (the name only stuck w me cause it gave me tropical forest survival game sorta vibes), which was all over my YouTube page.

....Not to mention that for the longest time I wondered if I might have any history with majora's mask, especially in terms of source memory or introjection, because I can swear I had that song's melody as a lullaby since I was 9 years old.

- Personality design

That's a hard one, and I'm gonna need to word myself carefully here cause I really don't want anyone on my head preaching about picking favorites, which is a given which will happen. I personally gonna avoid that, but all of them have traits that make them likeable for me, and traits that will keep me miles away from them.

- Design Wise

That's also a hard one, for an entirely different reason. I'm not keen on fashion trends, and I tend to wear what make me happy or whatever comfortable. So that's highly dependent on two factors;

1. Do I say based on what I'd personally wear?

In that case, I can safely state that legend's is my go-to. I never wore pants in public (religious reasons), and I'm very used to wearing skirts. Not to mention the weird sensory issues? Yeah I'm going with legend. His outfit doesn't have many layers which is good cause I get warm very fast, and I really like the green and red combo. I probably wouldn't wear most of the rings though cause I got chubby fingers and my fingers are naturally weak, don't want extra weight. As a close favorite is wind, cause I used to have a pj set close to his blue shirt, and it was my fav shit ever in the world. I feel like that's made out of cotton and is really light. (I actually can make a whole ask/post about my opinion on their clothes and ranking them by wearability for me)

2. Based purely on aesthetic and sight?

Ooh boy. I'm inclined to say either Four or Sky based on the fact it's looking simple, but also beautifully incorporate their aesthetics while not being way too overwhelming. Top favorite has to be Hyrule though. Smth about the classic green and brown gimme Peter pan vibes- It feeds my inner child

- Most likely to make friends with

I wanna go the "champ" route and say someone like Legend, Wild or Wars, but Legend will legit diss me on sight cause I'm very Socially awkward, wars is way too busy to reach out first to create friendships (not to mention you'll need to put a lot of effort on your end first to push this friendship since he's a busy guy. Sure he'd go to war for you later on, but at first he doesn't know you, so you need to put in the effort to show him it's worth it). why do I get a weird feeling I made a pretty accurate description of your system's wars based solely on info I already had of him based on previous talks?

As for Wild, well he'd just call me weird in his head, nod awkwardly to my rants, and move on with his day.

If we're going realistically, I'm gonna say twilight or sky, cause they're friendly and will actually reach out first cause I seem off and they wanna check on me cause it's in their nature to keep vibes good (I'm very socially anxious irl). Not to mention both have very tightknit childhood relationships with people, so they won't see it as weird to go to a stranger and ask why they're crying or smth.

- Wet cat

I have no idea what means lol

- Silly guy

Definitely time as well, but wars and wild too. One just reprimand others for chaos like he isn't a casanova who set smth on fire a moment ago, the other will roll with you in mud if you said you feel bad- solely to make you cheer up. I love them. My sweet sweet goobers.

- Relate to most

Youch- hitting close to home here. I don't want to go the trauma route, so I'm gonna say legend, Time, Hyrule, and Wild.

I have chronic pain issues and I'm tired of life to the point it's a chore than an experience

I constantly lose track of time, and I feel like a phantom child in an adult's body

I never get the moment to actually sit and rest, because I'm always getting chased by my fears and by my life experiences and expectations, so life isn't really living, it's survival

And I suffer from chronic amnesia lol

- My favorite overall

Well, I can't say one. I love them all for what they are. But probably legend. Got a soft ass spot for that ragdoll the gods shake around like a sack of potatoes for their entertainment. Plus, we have two legends, and one of them is my adopted little brother figure, the second I have a soul link with. ....Soooooo-- yeah.

- Digi

You know what, this is so real

I love how you reason things out, I sometimes do the same and it's nice to see

I can definitely respect the... not picking a favourite thing, or appreciating all of them for various different reasons- in some ways I do too- but I'm much less abashed about picking a favourite. I have a habit of doing that with pretty much every media I get into, and my headmates who are LInked Universe fictives don't seem particularly bothered.

I could just outright say "Four's my favourite, guys, sorry" and I might get like. Four's Undercover Silly Guy side to come out long enough to go "Ha, suckers" and stick his tongue out at the others, but like. That's it. Wind might pout, Wild's likely to just be like "yeah, you know what, fair" or even say something Dumb (/respectfully) like "I'm not my favourite either, it's fine".

Fortunately most of them understand that who my favourite character is isn't a reflection of how much I like any of them, especially since they're all a little different from their sources.

Also how dare you call out my dynamics with Wars XD /lhj

He very much, at least in our system, is the type that needs to be approached first, and consistently, to have any kind of more personal bond with. He is a very good guy, follows a more classic definition of being noble, and he has this sense of responsibility for... everyone, which makes sense given his history as a war captain. He generally has a baseline amount of care for everyone he meets unless he's given a specific reason not to, but he doesn't have as many interpersonal relationships just because he has to be reserved in order to keep track of so many people.

I think I got lucky with him, actually. We're still not super close, but that whole inner-world kerfuffle that happened a while back sort of accidentally got us to a point of being closer, and he distinctly told me that he was choosing to advocate on my behalf, so one way or another I earned some kind of loyalty from him, which is nice.

-Lizzy

[saberpastel]

I had a dream last night

I was back in highschool and the guy who I had a crush on for 3 years actually liked me back.

Also there's a well cult.

--

I was back living in my childhood home. There was some sort of gathering? I'm unsure if it was family or if it was church related... probably the latter since my crush was there.

I was getting overstimulated with the amount of people inside, so I went out. I don't know if this is important, but I noticed my mom was talking to my crushes mom on my way out.

Outside, in the front yard, my crush was playing a game with one of his friends. I tried just going around them to walk down the road, but my crush yelled out to get my attention.

I assumed he was going to ask where I was going but when I turned around to look at him, he had a look on his face I've never seen before. He looked... almost shy? He was smiling in that awkward way people do when they're about to ask something they think they might get called stupid for.

He asked me to go to a dance with him.

I raised my eyebrows at this, as in the dream I was dressed very masculine. I was wearing a suit, and as far as I know, that guy is not queer in the slightest, meaning either I was wrong about that or he thinks I'm just a very masculine looking woman. Regardless, I wouldn't take either option to be his "type".

I said yes, despite almost immediately regretting it. I've never had a very good time in loud spaces, and I had literally just been trying to leave one. But he smiled at me. So I tried to forget about that for a little while.

--

I'm unsure if the dream cuts here, or if i just forgot this part, but we're timeskipping forward

--

I'm in church on a Sunday, helping clean up afterward. My mother is once again talking to my crush's mom. I wonder for a moment if they are somehow behind this, but the thought quickly leaves my mind as my crush catches up to me in the halls.

He tells me about our date plans. I don't remember most of it, but we weren't going to be spending much time actually at the dance. There was something about getting dinner with his family, and there might have been another date group involved, but he'd also set aside time for us to be alone.

(Which surprises me now, though I didn't think anything of it then. For some context, I grew up Mormon, and one of the rules when it came to dating, at least for youth (16-18), was that we had to go in groups so that there was no "temptation" to... have sex? I guess?)

I was glad he'd planned something a little more tame for me, though I didn't think he would. (IRL, he wouldn't. One of the few conversations I ever had with him, he tried to tell me that I just "hadn't been to the right kind of dance" when I said I didn't like mosh pits... I wonder if he would have asked me to a dance if I had said otherwise...)

We finish talking and I notice our mothers, once again, talking to each other. This time they glance in our direction.

--

Another timeskip, something to do with myself and my little brother going thrift shopping happened during this bit, but I don't remember it well enough to tell you much.

--

I'm once again wearing a suit, which my mother complains about because "it's going to be pretty hot and humid tonight" and she wanted me to wear something lighter. I posited that my crush would be wearing a suit as well, so if I was going to be suffering, I could suffer knowing that we were suffering together. And besides, I could always take off the suit jacket at least. My mother sighed, giving up.

She told me to go find my little brother, or something like that. Which confused me, because I had no time for that at this point. I went outside to meet my crush for the dance.

--

yet another timeskip

--

After going to the dance for a bit, we left and found ourselves walking down a road lined with trees. They seemed to be decorated by bright, colored lights being pointed into their branches, so the color bounced off their leaves. The sky was overcast, so it was dimmer outside than it would have been, making the trees seem brighter. It was beautiful.

That moment got interrupted by someone from church approaching us on the sidewalk and handing us a small flyer for an event happening just down the street. We would have ignored it, but one of the pictures used to advertise the event was a picture of my little brother standing next to a well, smiling, holding up one of the shirts we had gotten while thrift shopping before.

I remembered my mom telling me to find my little brother, and decided to go take a look.

It was like every church potluck I've been to. A table was set up with an assortment of different dishes, people were milling around, catching up with friends. The only thing absent were children running around. Which immediately sent up red flags in my brain. All of the people here were adults I knew from church, but none of their children were here.

We walked towards the largest group of people, gathering around a well. The man who had given us the flyer welcomed us into the crowd, who all turned to look at us. He began rambling on about some initiation, and the well, and how we could really, truly be saved. All we had to do was look into the well.

Now thouroughly uncomfortable, we try to back out of the crowd, but people have moved in behind us and push us slowly closer to the well. The man, seeing our hesitation, decides to prove his point. He sticks his head into the opening of the well, a light shimmering on the water that sits about a foot from the top. (super not how wells work, but dream logic ig)

The man describes the images that appear to him, something about sheep, his wedding, and then... he pulls his face away from the water.

He frowns, a little paler. "I die from a stress induced heart attack at work at the age of 45." (Note: dream brain gave me the information that this man is 41. RIP I guess.)

The crowd takes us by the arms and push my crush's face into the well first. The light shines, and he stops trying to resist. I'm horrified.

When he sits up, he looks deathly pale. I ask him what happened. He mutters something about some future event. "That poor woman."

I look down to the well, terrified of what I might see. Hands push me towards it.

And then I wake up.

--

Something tells me I should've seen the cult thing coming... Oh well.

Hm. maybe should have chosen a different word there.

I don't know if a well cult is the weirdest thing I've dreamed about or not.

[rainingmbappe]

i just listened to star by mitski and i won't lie to you that song was in my recommended for a few days before you had told me about it. i didn't check it out at first cause i don't listen to mitski that much (she makes me cry lol) but when you recommended it to me i thought "why not then".

i cannot really explain what i felt the first time i listened to it, yet i'm insanely grateful i was able to have my first listen because of you. even though the music video looks so "effortless" it feels so intimate and looks genuinely really beautiful. her expressions create a whole world, and i feel like a swiftie just describing everythingndfbsfbh but at least i can say that mitski is a real lyricist genius. (side eyeing the 14 y'os saying TTPD is the best album in the universe).

"keep a leftover light burning" this is so powerful idec, i always keep these memories with me, these times that made me so happy. and even though they don't feel so vivid anymore, they taste like leftovers yes, they warm my heart still. i can't even, i wish i had the ability to describe how i felt listening to that song (i'm listening to it again rn). i never had any relationship but i hold platonic love so deeply, much more than any romantic relationship i could ever have. i know this sounds contradictory and pathetic but i feel like i can be much more intimate with a friend through the things i feel and the things i say. i know i will never be judged by a true friend, i know i don't have to meet these certain expectations with them that would be needed in a romantic relationship (of course they're not the same but bfdbsjbfs idk if u get me).

i love to talk about anything with you, you feel so close and it soothes my soul to know that i'm not alone feeling so incredibly deep for some things people don't bat an eye for.

i was outside today with a friend and when i walked home i was drinking the last few drops of my redbull (this sounds so ridiculous) and had to look up and my eyes met the sky, i froze for a moment seeing the clouds move so fast because of the wind and i thought of you. i don't know, it feels comforting to know that we are both looking at the same moon, at the same sky, at the same sun. that even though you're a whole continent away, you're not that very far from me in reality. it's all about perspective. compared to the size of the universe that is always expanding, you're like a feet away from me.

sorry i'm talking too much, i'm just in my feels it's late and i miss you i wish i could have ig so we could talk about anything forever. i know that if i knew you irl i would bother you all the time with questions and tell you all the things that go through my mind, i never shut up.

i still have the dorian gray book and every time i read it i think of you. I had highlighted something that made me think of you, you had told me something personal and it reminded me of that thing but i had completely forgotten about it : "my dear fellow, i am not quite serious but i can't help detesting my relations. i suppose it comes from the fact that none of us can stand other people having the same faults as ourselves." i didn't highlight anything else in that book, just that one sentence. i'm so sorry this is getting so long dnjskjbfh you're probably tired of me rambling this much, just one thing, i loved your sky pics and i'm so glad you posted them. you and nikola have a real talent when it comes to capture the best sky pictures, it's like you own it.

i don't know what time it is for you it must be very late, have a good night and i hope you're doing well <3

Stop with the apologizing, you and I both know that I giggle and feel this kind of eternal bliss whenever I see your asks in my inbox. So yeah ssssshhhhhhh

Just wanna say how real that miski thing is. I literally avoid her music cause it's frankly too heavy for the everyday, plus I'm not the bigggeeessstt fan of her sound (still an amazing amazing artist nonetheless). Yk, I've said this a lot in my life, but the pursuit of romantic love seems a bit pointless to me as compared to any other strong bond. People might say that it's my inexperience that makes me say this, and I'm open to change, but I genuinely believe that platonic relationships are the fundamentals of being human. Experiencing such bonds in deep and profound ways stays and impacts people in such great ways. I think about familial relationships a lot too when I listen to star. I haven't lost anyone close in my life, but it's one of my irrational fears. And this song just struck that cord that, frankly, doesn't exist?? So that's so weird, isn't it. Then I started thinking about the platonic side of the song, which made it 939292 times worse loll

(BTW taylor shade SO REAAALLL)

And yes I get you completely. Friends don't jusdge you in that way yk??? Atleast some don't. And that feeling, ugh it's so so hard to describe but you know it if you've felt it.

AND oh my god I teared up when I read the cloud thing. I think constantly about how starting from dinosaurs, to Shakespeare, to messi and you, we all share the same sky. Claimed by none, tainted by none. I love that. We look at the same moon. Our eyes look at the same thing in the flesh. Isn't that bizarre? Its like this invisible string that connects us. And I'm so sorry if I sound weird but. I think of you a lot. This was in March, when I was just thinking about how I'll probably never meet anyone like you again. And I thought you had left for good and forever and that you were lost in the world. Even if I wanted, I'd never be able to reach you. And that thought precisely freaked me tf out. Cause. You would just be lost forever, wouldn't you? And I couldn't stand that thought and I cried just a tinnnyyyy bit (istg don't juddgeeeee). But these asks are literally my whole world. You don't even I don't expect you to but just know that when you sent in that first one, I wasn't sure it was you but had this distinct feeling in my heart. And I couldn't be gladder that it IS you.

AWWWW I say this without exaggeration, if we knew eachother, we wouldn't get work done. Like ever. I already try to make these asks as long as I possibly can to never end talking to you, if we had any way of texting, I swear we'd talk alllllllll the time. And I think that would heal me tbh aodnlsnxlsjdke

Yk I want to shake you and tell you to never ever everrrr be sorry for talking too much atleast to me. If I havnt made it absolutely clear already, I love talking to you and the more the merrier hahaha. No but seriously, i love talking to you. The best yhing about us was we didn't have to pretend like we didn't have negative thoughts. Like all our thoughts we're roses and daisies. We talked about the hard and the bad stuff and then shared our mutual love for the cosmos, it was amazing. It IS amazing

It's almost 1 and I have online school tomorrow. I'm trying soooo hard not to throw a 5 yo-esque tantrum rn (ik online school is not that bad but even then I hate it)

I feel like I didn't respond to everything I wanted to. But tbh I could go on for foreverrrrrr. Maybe I'll edit it in the morning and add more hhehehhehe.

Also. I can't belive you still remember the Dorian Gray thing. I'll go cry now thanks a lot ksksksnzsmsmzwlz

Miss you terribly. I love you and hope you have a great night ahead <3

[nightcall99]

Dreams from 28.2.24

Dream 1: I was in a classroom sitting at a desk and it felt like nothing was really going on. I don't know where the teacher was. My classmates were around but it felt like no one was really there. I felt alone and decided to leave and so I did. I went to find my locker. I kept walking around the rows and rows of lockers, but wasn't sure I was going to recognise where my one was. I hadn't used my locker in a long time, almost forgotten it existed. I continued walking and feeling anxious, until finally I found my locker. I retrieve my backpack and leave.

As I was walking out of the school, some of my classmates tried to catch up with me but I wasn't interested in talking to them (I recognised some people from my recent course). I kept walking and then saw groups of students sitting on the lawn, presumably relaxing (I recognised old friends from high school, one of them was my former best friend). I think they called me over but it didn't feel right to join them. Or maybe I did, for a tiny while, but had felt their emptiness and left.

Dream 2: I'd just gotten into my car which was parked in the carpark. I think I had just finished my shift. I messaged GK (my old mentor/colleague) about some questions I had. He wasn't replying but I waited. The questions I had asked him were symbolised by screenshots/pictures. It felt somewhat important or at the very least, I didn't feel embarrassed to bother him about it. I knew he'd just finished work and was approaching the same carpark that I was in (even though we work one hour from each other irl). It turns out he hadn't received the messages but had wanted to help me, had somehow known anyway that I was seeking his advice. I see him. I call out his name loudly and he comes closer. The whole time he was walking toward me, he was looking down at his phone, distracted. I got out of my car to meet him. His wife appeared too, beside him and they both stared at me blankly. They were waiting for me to ask them whatever it was I needed to ask. I tried to bring up the pictures that had represented the questions I wanted to ask, but when I looked at it, I felt it so stupid and banal, that I thought better of it and awkwardly just tried to make small talk. I asked them if they had a busy day today. They said, No more than usual but there was some technical issues that held us back a bit. Not long after, when it was clear that there was nothing more to say, they left.

I got back into my car and sat in the backseat. There was a bag of trash. I was sorting through it, taking things out one by one to inspect. GK and his wife must have given it to me, or it just appeared in my car somehow and I knew that it belonged to them. I am sorting through the trash from their lives. Most of it is paper and other random things like unused napkins, this rubbish must be from an office bin. I was searching for something but I didn't find what I was looking for so I gave up looking, setting the trash bag aside. I felt sad about GK, that he wasn't there anymore.

Then I remembered that my sister had messaged me to go to Dan Murphy's (chain liquor retailer) to buy some kind of soda drink that my mum wanted. She sent through a picture of some glass bottles, maybe it was lemonade. I didn't really want to go and run this errand because it felt kind of late (in the dream, the sky had only slightly darkened and maybe it was between 5-7pm, but more than anything there was just the feeling of it being 'late' and besides, I was tired). I was still deciding as I started the car and drove out toward the carpark exit. As I made it to the lip of the road, I indicated to turn left in traffic. I think I will just go home.

[lotus-flowerz]

deadweight

TW!! INSECURITY, FEELINGS OF DEPRESSION AND NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH, ENDED RELATIONSHIPS (NOT WITH DILUC), SUCIDAL THOUGHTS, GETTING DRUNK

diluc x reader hurt/comfort

F/n- Friend's name

a/n- sorry for the amount of self indulgent fics, i don't feel comfy talking ab it with most of my irls because i dont want to worry them or push them away- im writing this because a (now ex) friend of mine just cut me off to focus more on their partner and because i was more of a deadweight (hence the fic name) than a friend

sorry for the dump ty if you actually read it LMAO

You were walking back towards Mondstat. Another lonely day, doing commissions and helping other people with their problems. All you could even feel nowadays was jealousy and hair-ripping stress.

The sun was setting, the colors of the sky mixing together to form a light purple. It was truly gorgeous. You stood on the bridge to Mondstat looking at the sky with a sullen expression, not like your normally happy one. You found thoughts flitting through your mind- thoughts you weren't supposed to be thinking:

"What color sunset would I make?"

You shook your head to rid yourself of the thought. You had been having these suicidal urges and tendencies for a while- just no one had exactly picked up on them.

You took a deep breath and walked through the gates of the city of freedom. It didn't feel like freedom to you, though. It felt like endless lonesomeness and work.

"Oh, F/n! Hey!" you called. You hadn't seen them in a while since they had started to recover from their own mental illness. You heard that recently they had a new partner!

"Y/n, hey."

"How have you been?" you asked, smiling at them.

"Good. I've been meaning to come talk to you actually- I think it's best if we go our separate ways- you know, you're a bit of a downer sometimes, no offense."

You felt your heart shatter- again, it happened again. A deadweight.

"Right. That's okay, if I'm not needed anymore then by all means, we should go our separate ways." you smiled again, trying to show that there was no harm done.

"Thank you for understanding. You're a good friend, and I'm thankful that you helped me recover."

"Yeah, anytime!"

You both waved and you hurriedly walked towards Angel's Share. You needed a drink. You and your boyfriend, Diluc, had been strained for a bit- only because you were both never home. Both of you were busy, and you weren't really a drinker. You didn't know he was supposed to be bartending tonight.

You took a seat at the bar and ordered a death after noon. One turned into two- and you nursed the second drink for about an hour before finishing it.

You were certainly an unusual patron at the tavern- and seeing you holding a particularly strong drink, sitting in silence and staring at the table was definitely not what Diluc expected to see when he came to help out Charles that night.

You laid your head down on the bar and just held your drink, not wanting to look at or talk to anyone. It was easier to look drunk than to explain why you were there.

But what you didn't expect was that the death after noon took a bit to kick in- you WERE drunk- and you knew you had to get out of that tavern.

Diluc knew you hadn't noticed him. His heart dropped when he had first seen you in the tavern and he was still worried about you as you shoved yourself up from the position you were in and left a tip on your tab. He looked at it out of curiosity and- 3 DEATH AFTER NOONS???

"Charles-"

"Go, you don't have to explain, just go"

"Thank you."

He tore off his apron and threw it behind the bar. He came up behind you and scooped you up bridal style with ease. You made a tiny struggle but he held you tighter.

"It's Diluc. Calm down."

He felt you relax in his arms and he began the trek to the dawn winery.

"Hey Diluc." you slurred out

"Hm?"

"Why do you have me?"

"You're drunk."

"No. Why are you with me?"

"I'm sorry?"

"I weigh you down. Both of us are depressed, but I slow down your recovery. Helping me isn't an easy task and I don't need anyone else leaving because I made them. So if you want to leave just put me down and let me find my own way home. Go live your life without a deadweight pulling you down all the time."

Good god- the alcohol had really loosened your tongue

"Excuse me? Oh Barbatos- darling, I love you. Nothing is going to change that. I love every part of you, mental, physical, personality, you're YOU and I wouldn't change that. You've helped me in my recovery process. You found me at my worst and lifted me up. Why wouldn't I do the same for you? I will never let you go unless it is something that you truly want- and this? This is coming from a different problem. I don't know how long exactly this has been brewing in your pretty little head, but whatever has happened will pass, and whatever will happen, we will be together. I promise."

He kissed your forehead, and looked down at you to admire you. You had wet, tearstained cheeks, your head was leaned against his chest, and you looked as perfect as ever.

"It's okay. I've got you." he whispered.

After arriving at the winery, he cleaned you up and slipped you into your pjs. He put you down in your shared bed. You were only partially awake and aware of what was happening, but you knew you felt something you hadn't felt in a while. A warm fuzzy feeling that welled up from your stomach. You found new tears slipping down your cheeks but you didn't know why.

After telling the maids to prepare a hangover remedy for you to drink in the morning, Diluc joined you in bed. He noticed your starstruck expression and tears, and used his thumb to wipe them away.

"I've got you now. You're alright. Just rest. We can talk about this in the morning, when you're coherent."

He pulled you into him, the smokey scent from his vision mixed with the vanilla shampoo he used filled your senses. His warmth enveloped you, and you felt your eyes begin to close as he combed his fingers through your hair.

"Goodnight, dove. I love you."

[stuffgoeswrong]

Yes i 100% agree with you on what you said about soukoku but now i MUST ask you to talk about odazai as well if you're up for it because i love them too. They are so important to me

Yes, absolutely! Sorry I didn't get to this sooner, it was past midnight last night and I've had classes all day. Odazai has become my OTP to end all OTPs, like it is unfathomable how much I love them. I could literally talk about them all day, so I'm sorry this got so long. I'm so happy you're a chill member of the fandom and love them too! By the way, I wanted to say I totally agree with your opinions on Kousano and respect your Chuuaku ones too! Kousano very much feels like a "these two are cool, put them together" kind of ship without a lot of concern for their development and similarities. While I do love Kouyou as a character, I don't have fond feelings for her when she's presented just by herself (as opposed to her other canon relationships like with Kyouka), and liking both parties of a ship is pretty much a requirement for me. Luckily, this happened with Odazai!

In general I do view this ship through a Dazai heavy lens because I relate to him hardcore and it's hard for me to understand/get attached to stoic characters like Oda. This is weird because I'm probably more like him irl than Dazai lol. I always feel like I'm not looking as deeply into Oda's character as I could be, and I try to be conscious of not lessening his role in comparison to Dazai's, but keep that in mind and judge me if you want as you read this lol.

What made you ship it?

The fact that Dazai showed the most emotion I've ever seen on his face and in his voice (amazing job by Miyano Mamoru) around Oda and the later realization that Dazai was Oda's first and one of his only friends. Not to say other characters *coughcoughchuuyacough* haven't made a significant impact on Dazai. I try not to compare these two ships a lot cause they are both meaningful in their own ways to the story and the characters. But anyway, I cried like a little bitch before Oda's big fight/death scene even happened, when Dazai just is begging him not to go throw away his life and trying to relate to him on a deeply personal level to get him to stay. That really showed to me how much he cared for Oda and how different that relationship was to him whether he knew it or not. Someone also edited the Dead Apple scene beautifully to be more shippy and I can never forget it. Also, Scarlet Sky playing every time Oda is talked about or Dark Era is referenced in the main storyline got me sobbing. I guess what truly made me ship Odazai is just the abundance of a suggested romantic connection (very obvious on Dazai's part). Dark Era (confronting Mori about this massive betrayal and leaving the mafia feels like "you have destroyed everything that was ever important to me, bye"), how Oda thinks of Dazai, not Ango or the orphans, when he believes he's dying after getting poisoned, Dazai literally ruining peoples' lives that he holds dear in the present just so Oda can live and be happy even without him in Beast, Dear Prince (a love song) playing when Dazai recalls that moment in Dead Apple and in the flashback later on, "Was it someone you loved?" and dodging the question LIKE HOW OBVIOUS can you get!!

2. As I fell further into the rabbit hole. . .

So I joined an Odazai discord server around a year ago, love it there, everyone's so creative and lovely, here if interested: https://discord.gg/tnA3mzyB. There's also a lot of analyses on Odazai on Tumblr that make sense! This post about Oda and Dazai being each other's regrets (from Dark Era light novel, Oda says, "Ango and I could stay by Dazai's side because we can understand the loneliness that revolves around Dazai. Even though we are by his side, we would never step within. But now, I'm a little regretful that I never stepped into that loneliness impolitely." Oda just say you wanna hold his hand lol), this whole post about them filling each other's unmet childhood needs, this which basically puts all Odazai moments and mentions together, I absolutely love this theory that there's a physical change in Dazai's ability after he meets Oda, there's just so much to love about them.

3. What I don't like:

Putting this here cause I don't want to end on this note. This ain't even about Oda and Dazai, it's just about the fandom. I don't think any of us who like this ship like the people who complain about the 5 year age difference. It's not a lot at all, especially when you take literally everything else about their relationship into account and the fact that it's fictional and fun. But since side A and B have come out (which I haven't read) I've seen people kind of using it as further evidence that the age gap is a problem and let it cloud their judgement on Oda and Dazai's respective personalities and boundary abiding tendencies. In addition to that I always see the, "but Oda calls him a child and views him like that in the novel" argument, which I don't really get. I watched some YouTube video a while ago that was like, why do partners call each other baby or babe? It's because those words represent a yearning to take care of the other and foster a better, more committed relationship or something like that. Saying your friend has a hurt expression like a lost kid doesn't necessarily mean you think of them as significantly younger or immature compared to you. This especially applies in fictional writing where it can just be used as a helpful visual for something that will be adapted to a screen. I don't have a problem with fans who dislike Odazai romantically, but I do when they completely deny their equal footing. Come on, Oda mixes up his fairytales and Dazai is insanely smart, their relationship would never be abusive on an age basis. Anyway.

4.. What are your favorite things about the ship?

Well for one, I'm a sucker for angst and pain and two, I love childhood friends/best friends to lovers so so so much. Add in the possibility of enemies to lovers in Beast and they have it all. I guess I like the ambiguity and flow of how their relationship could go too. Like, they both would think moving in with each other is totally natural friend behavior, and then there'll be this phase of realization and it'll just pass by like yeah, we're married now. From Dark Era, we get that Oda, Dazai, and Ango can all be friends outside their different ranking mafia positions because they all feel that they think similarly and understand each other. They're all on equal ground, so Dazai and Oda having a profound connection built off that is something I think can be an accurate reflection of real life. At their cores, both want the best for each other. Oda wants Dazai to have a life meaningful to him and suggests that path through what he knows, Dazai wants Oda to live out his dream, helping him to do that in whatever way possible. They are separated by time and space, yet so closely linked by what they've found with each other it hurts. There's literally already a family there with the kiddos too! These two seem to get dumber in each other's presence like SSKK also does and I find that amusing lol. I appreciate that Oda is serious about the people he cares about and doesn't take Dazai's suicide obsession as lightly as a lot of other characters, as some shippers speculate because he has also had depression at one point or another. I love that in several peoples' minds, Odazai would only have conflict when they're upset the other isn't taking care of themself properly. I love that Oda is such an oblivious himbo. I love that people speculate Dazai's bolo tie reminds him of Oda's eyes and that he picked the spot for the grave that overlooks a beautiful view even if he didn't know Oda loved the ocean. I love that they both realize they care about each other when it's too late, that they will meet in the afterlife.

I have many feelings and thoughts. Thank you so much if you listened to me rant and read this whole thing!

[aikoiya]

This, my friend, is a breath of fresh air. Now, I'm all for giving Ganondorf & the Gerudo more depth, but the idea that this incredibly buff, strong race of women with more muscle than the average human/Hylian/Sheikah male, are struggling to survive in the desert when humans IRL have done so just fine for millenia feels infantilizing! And the fact that people just jump on the idea of TotK being full of imperialist propaganda & that Rauru was trying to annex them, is just... I have no words!

Admittedly, I kinda wish there were more resources & stuff throughout the desert. Maybe make the oases have more stuff. Hell, I've made a literal list!

But at the same time, it's damn obvious that the Gerudo are specifically adapted to life in the desert & the fact that they are able to live out there in what are essentially bikini tops proves this.

Like, I'd have personally at least given them sheep for Merino wool, which is a very desert & snow-friendly type of wool. So, it's perfect for both desert & highlands provided they're made right for the specific areas. Meaning desert attire would still be vastly different from mountain attire.

Irl, to my understanding, it's best to wear burmus & shemagh to keep the sun off you & the sand out of your face & as much as I love the Desert Voe Set, I actually would've made it more IRL accurate because Hylians just aren't adapted to survive in the desert wearing only a spauldren without getting sun poisoning.

I do think that the Gerudo aren't as readily adapted to extreme cold & snow as they are the desert, though desert nights would obviously help.

There's also the fact that it was implied that the 8th Heroine is sort of the patron to Gerudo living in the Highlands, which suggests that there ARE Gerudo living there, we just don't see them.

Which is a bummer, it would've been interesting to see a different variety of Gerudo culture that has adapted to living in the mountains.

I actually talk a lot about what I think such a town & culture would look like.

If you wanna read some of what I got involving the Gerudo as a people, go here: LoZ Cultural Masterlist

Then scroll down to the Gerudo section. I call this theoretical Highland town, Ealiya. You can also go to my New Ingredients & Recipe Ideas links under food for looks at the resourced I've hc'd for the Gerudo Desert & Highlands.

Something else of interest is, it's kind of implied that the Gerudo aren't native to the desert directly to the southwest of Hyrule.

Or, if they are, then they didn't come into existence until after not only the past of Skyward Sword, but also after the Hylians came back down from the sky at the end of the game.

For one, when you explore the desert, it's referred to as the Lanayru Desert, not the Gerudo Desert. In fact, the only reference to the Gerudo that I recall being there is the name of a species of dragonfly that lives there & that's it.

Add to that the fact that a thousand years ago before the events of the game, the desert wasn't even a desert, but a sea. It's likely that this happened when the mountain range of the Gerudo Highlands began to form, thus making the Gerudo Desert a Rain Shadow. I theorize that there's likely a land far to the southwest of Hyrule that hadn't been accessible before the desertification of the Lanayru Sea.

Not only that, but the Gerudo don't show up until Cadence of Hyrule (who's canon is uneasy at best) & Ocarina of Time. Cadence of Hyrule likely being the past of OoT with the same Ganondorf.

This implies that the Gerudo are at least relatively new to Hyrule, which would make them the invading force.

A Hot Take on Gerudo Survival Skills

I'm not going to rant and rave about the majority of the discord surrounding Tears of the Kingdom when it comes to Ganondorf vs Hyrule. There are more than enough posts circulating about that out there by plenty of good and intelligent folks, and I've already offered my thoughts on it. I encourage folks to go check those out.

What I'm tired of seeing is the argument that the Gerudo have little to nothing to survive on in the desert. This is one of the most badass and longest enduring tribes in all of Zelda and yet for some odd reason folks seem to insist that they're somehow unable to exploit the incredible amount of resources available to them. I've played desert survival challenges in BotW where I exist solely within the Gerudo area for extended periods of time, and if you know what you're doing its actually quite easy.

Anyone who has spent ample time around the Gerudo region in either of these games knows just how incredibly abundant food is in the Gerudo Highlands. There is a ton of large game up there that is easy to bring down with a single headshot from a Gerudo bow. Gerudo bows are sniper bows and are far from useless. Are we going to argue that these very strong and powerful ladies can't do something as simple as draw one of the bows of their own making, or know how to track prey through the snow? One might argue that we never see a Gerudo in the Highlands or in possession of clothing warm enough to survive up there, but I would counter with the fact that the ice house exists and it's clearly stated that the ice is harvested and brought down from the Highlands. This argument is invalid.

Additionally, the desert itself is abound in fruits and poultry ripe for the harvesting. And obviously it's done to such efficiency that there is an ample enough supply to make a profit in selling these items at market, to both Gerudo and Hylians alike. There is obviously enough surplus of hydro melons that there is a Gerudo NPC that devours them to such excess as to clog up one of the fountains in Gerudo Town.

And while we're on the topic, the Gerudo clearly have an ample enough water supply that they can run fountains constantly, all through their town. So clearly they're not struggling there.

Additionally still, Moldugas exist and are shockingly common. Yes, they're big, powerful and dangerous, but if one little twink with enough bomb arrows can kill one then are you going to tell me that this tribe of intelligent, hearty, and highly trained women cannot organize a Molduga hunt with relative ease?

Various Native American groups were able to thrive on only one or two bison hunts a year. It was dangerous, extremely, but they had it down to a science. You're going to tell me that the Gerudo are incapable of such coordination? Honestly it could even explain and deepen their connection to the sand seals. These lovely creatures can carry a few skilled huntresses through a Molduga's territory to flush it out, and with more than one target the Molduga wouldn't know which one to chase. Throw in archers who are on the rocks or ruins and a Molduga dinner is practically guaranteed. And let's not forget that with typical Moldugas, three blasts from Urbosa's fury is more than enough to bring it down. Given that Riju also possesses lightning magic, and the fact that there is a sage in Rauru's time who also controls lightning, I think we can safely assume that the ability is common enough that it can be relied upon. It wouldn't take anything for the chief to organize a Molduga hunt and ride proudly out there with her sisters to feed the tribe for a good while.

So yes, I'm not saying there aren't issues with Totk's plot or its handling of Ganondorf, but I'm tired of seeing people parrot this idea that the Gerudo are struggling to survive when they're more than capable of doing so. They were doing it long before Ganondorf, and they've done it long after him too. So please, stop using this reasoning to justify Ganondorf outright murdering someone in cold blood just to obtain their Zonai stone. It just doesn't work.

And as a side note, there is clearly a demarcation within the tribe at the time of Totk Ganondorf's reign due to how the Gerudo sage reacts to hearing that he's overcome the last free (yes that's the word they use) Gerudo villages. From what is shown, Ganondorf and his followers are an extremist terrorist group within the tribe.

Again, I'm not saying that there aren't problems with his motivations (and I really hate the greenish skin tone), but he is clearly not doing what he does for the benefit of his tribe. He might think he is, but he isn't. And there are much better arguments that could be made than just, oh the Gerudo are struggling to survive and Hyrule is full and fertile and blah blah blah. And it isn't like Rauru is trying to withhold Hyrule's bounty or otherwise fuck over the Gerudo. It's even stated that he's sent multiple invitations to them to join up with the Hyrulean tribes and share the bounty.

I'm going to repeat myself yet again: stop treating the Gerudo as incompetent and use basic survival and lack of resources to justify what Ganondorf does. It doesn't work.

Side side note: Urbosa's amiibo drops primarily meat. Interpret that as you will. And Ganondorf's legendary cursed grin when he commits said murder? That is not the smile of a sane man.