#looked after him... then they were separated and their story took wild turns independently

[yeleltaan]

Been paying attention, I know this variation of dragon Cayin is later down the line like this version of Helena is later down the line.

I got your other threads cooking. Ya know, when they were both marginally less fucked up people.

// Both of them have become a little more messed up individually, but massively more messed up together! It's magical.

[haddocknumber3]

Defense of The Hidden World.

This is my first time posting here in ages but I’ve been working on an essay in defense of HTTYD 3. Some of the possible responses I’ve seen against arguments defending the movie will be answered throughout. (warning this is long, like, ridiculously long so if you don’t read this then I completely understand. I just wanted a place to formulate and explain my opinion. 

Hiccup and Toothless’ relationship proved that a genuine, unflinchingly honest and unconditional love could exist between humans and dragons. It proved to the world that co-existence was possible, but maybe not yet. However the main thing that I found to be so profound about THW was that even though they loved each other, they were both willing to explore their own identities separate from each other. Once Toothless found the Lightfury, he re-discovered what it meant to be a dragon. Not a domesticated dragon but a pure, natural dragon. He found that he had instincts that he never knew he had. For instance, he tries to do a mating dance by himself as well as the simple fact that he was so in love with the Light Fury. So when he wanted to mate with the light fury he turned to Hiccup for advice (third date scene) because not only did he not know what to do, but he had seen Hiccup getting closer with Astrid over the years and now that he finally found someone else, he wanted advice on how to handle it. That just shows the love between them. Yes, Hiccup made mistakes in the movie in terms of how he handled Toothless getting with the Lightfury. He was anxious and felt as if he needed to be there to protect him so he desperately tried to halt Grimmel and the armada’s advance without Toothless because he knew he had to do something. However he failed at this and caused Ruffnut to be captured. This causes him to feel like he can’t lead properly without Toothless. He has always doubted whether he’s worthy, but this time he genuinely feels as if he doesn’t know who he is without Toothless. This is confirmed when Astrid and Valka have that brief conversation after Hiccup storms off (after they’ve returned from Grimmel’s tower) and they say:

“He thinks he has to lead alone, well, because his father had to. He doesn’t realize the strength you have together. Do you still believe in him?” - Valka

“Of course, I wish he did. But he thinks he’s nothing without Toothless.” - Astrid

“Then help him realize the truth” - Valka

This comes to a head when Grimmel had just captured Toothless, the Lightfury, and all of Berk’s dragons and he has flown off. Hiccup and Astrid have that conversation on the cliff and while the entire conversation is so so so damn important and powerful, there is one quote that sums it up:

“You are the bravest, most stubborn, determined, knucklehead I know. Toothless didn’t give you that Hiccup. He just-” - Astrid

“-made it easier” - Hiccup

All of this works so magnificently because the film has been able to show that both Hiccup and Toothless now have different goals in life. It’s just so beautiful how the film allows both characters to explore and accept their own identities without having any grievances towards each other in the process. Even though Hiccup is anxious about Toothless leaving him, it doesn’t mean he resents him for it. He is just concerned for his best friend’s safety out in the wild.

When that final scene of them saying goodbye comes along, it’s so impactful because they both realize that while obviously they could just all stay as they are and nothing would change, that wouldn’t be the right thing to do at this point. While Hiccup (and the audience) want to see the message at the end of HTTYD 2 fulfilled where the world could be changed into a dragon-human paradise, it isn’t realistic, no matter how much we believe it could happen. 

“Doesn’t this go against the themes of the franchise?” 

In a way, yes. But also it was the only real CONCLUSION the characters could have come to. I mean, what else was there to learn about the world other than the fact that trying to create a dragon/human paradise isn’t sustainable forever. They were able to create one on Berk but that didn’t last. People will always continue to try and disrupt this way of life. Evil people like Grimmel will always be around to exploit dragon-kind for their own nefarious goals. 

“But isn’t that the point? To always fight and stand up for the dragons and not give up by sending them away to some other place?” 

Well your not wrong, but isn’t allowing them to live in a paradise where they will never be harmed by other humans ever again worth it? Isn’t it worth it to find peace without the need for war? Isn’t that what a chief is supposed to do? 

“A chief protects his own” That’s the point. It IS a sacrifice. Because even though the Berkians may consider the dragons as their own, they aren’t. They are still independent dragons. (I give an example of this later on in the form of a deleted scene) It’s a sacrifice of the idealistic views that the second movie explored. Even that movie proved that consequences would come from actively trying to change the entire world’s view. However it shouldn’t (and didn’t) dissuade the Berkians from trying to continue to live in peace with their dragons. 

Also I just want to bring up the fact that some people have drawn parallels between this movie and certain aspects of real life. I understand, but that isn’t the story that is being told. The metaphors did get pretty muddled sadly but I can assure you that isn’t the intent behind the movie. So if you have any ill will towards the movie because of that then I’m sorry that was the message that you took away from it. Just know that wasn’t the intention and wasn’t the story being told. 

Hiccup, who had now become chief, actively tried to save the dragons that were in captivity or being harmed by the hunters and warlords of the world. Instead of trying to change their minds (and Grimmel’s mind) like he tried to do with Drago in HTTYD 2, he actively tries to sabotage their activities of caging and using dragons and bringing them back to Berk so they could be safe. However, by the opening of the third movie, it is clear that Berk has become overcrowded. 

“But couldn’t they have spread out?” 

Well, a deleted scene confirms they did by referencing their “nest in the north” so it’s clear that they had spread out. But Berk was their main settlement and they couldn’t maintain dozens of other settlements full of dragons 24/7. 

Wait but couldn’t they have asked other friendly civilizations like the Berserkers or the Wingmadens to look after them and follow in Berk’s example? 

Yeah of course, but eventually they would run into the same problem as Berk did at the beginning of the third movie. If they kept bring back dragons to Berk or any other dragon friendly civilization, then eventually they would get overcrowded. It may take a while but the possibility of it happening is pretty large. 

“Nah doesn’t make sense. That wouldn’t happen because they would all just defend their islands/civilizations against their enemies like they have done for the entire TV series.”

...Once again, it’s not sustainable. That’s why the Hidden World exists. It’s a place where the dragons can live totally out of reach and where they can be safe.

“Oh but the whole idea of the Hidden World is contrived bullshit just made up to move the plot along.” 

Couldn’t Frodo and the Fellowship just use the eagles to fly all the way to Mount Doom so he could drop the ring in and call it a day? What’s the reason there? So the plot could happen? Hmmm. But in all seriousness though I don’t have anything against LOTR and in fact it’s one of my favorite series besides HTTYD. Also they couldn’t have used the eagles because on the way the Black Riders who were on the dragons would have taken them out. Also they could have been shot down- oKAY back to the Hidden World. The idea of the Hidden World is kind of contrived but at the same time it is using the lack of an established explanation of where the dragons actually came from and utilizing it. 

“But they would have just been on the surface the whole time?” 

As I said, there is a lack of an explanation. So why not? why not delve deeper into the lore of the dragons. The idea of Hiccup discovering the ancestral home of all dragons is awesome! It doesn’t conflict with anything previously established in terms of where they came from because there is no explanation.

“What about Vanaheim, the eternal resting place of all dragons from RTTE?”

Good point, but that doesn’t mean that the dragons couldn’t have lived and evolved underground and then come up to the surface and gone to Vanaheim. I mean, obviously not every dragon was in the Hidden World so it would have been easier for them to just travel there but I don’t see this as a massive issue though.

“Why does Hiccup say “The world believes the dragons are gone” in the epilogue if just Berk’s dragons left.” 

This is a really solid point so I’ll do my best with this one but at the same time, it is a really good point. I imagine that by the time the third movie comes around, Berk had become such a safe haven for dragons that you could say most of the world’s dragons resided on Berk. But this is kind of flimsy too and doesn’t exactly make sense. The way I see it, this is a valid “plot hole” but at the same time I don’t really care? I don’t know for me it was just an emotional way of putting the ending of the film into words. I don’t have a valid explanation for it but whenever I watch the film I just roll with it because I’m already wrapped up in the emotion of it all that I just don’t care, and to be honest I’m glad I don’t. That’s just me though. If you have an issue with this then I totally understand because dragons like the Buffalord or the Eruptadon can’t exactly leave their islands sooooo yea...

“The Hidden World conflicts with established lore of the whole series.”

I’m pretty sure this is referring to Grimmel killing all the Nightfuries and Stoick not telling Hiccup about it. To be honest this is the plot hole that I’ve tried to patch up but can’t find a reasonable explanation for. However, it’s one of those tiny discrepancies for me that doesn’t hurt or hinder my enjoyment or engagement with the trilogy.

“Why was the armada defeated so quickly? As Valka said, there were probably over 100 ships. How did the Dragon Riders defeat an entire fleet of ships so quickly?”

Well, most of the ships were on fire by the end of the final battle and all of the dragons had been freed by that point. Also, Astrid managed to reach the wheel of the main barge and lock it into position so it would crash into the ships beside it and take multiple of them out. So we can infer that not only are all of the dragons free, but also pretty much all of the ships have been set alight and are now in the process of burning down and sinking. 

“What about the Warlords?”

Ragnar the rock (the big guy) gets chased off and supposedly eaten by the Hobgobblers and the other two get trapped in a cage that slides down the front deck of their ship (because Astrid caused the ship to crash into the other ones) and traps them in it. So basically all 3 warlords are incapacitated or dead.

Ok back to the main point from a few paragraphs back lol: Berk was overcrowded and they needed a solution. Hiccup knew that something had to be done so when he was standing in the same quiet spot where his father told him a mystical tale of a hidden dragon world, it causes him to think about whether it was real or not. Could that be the solution? They would be able to stay with the dragons in the hidden world because they were dragon loving people (that’s Hiccup’s logic.) However, when Grimmel arrives and berates him about his view of dragons and Berk’s way of life. Hiccup stands up to him because he has defended Berk’s way of life from far worse than a mere lone dragon hunter. But after Hiccup experiences the terror and destruction that this one hunter could cause on his home, he now fully realizes that they need to leave Berk because they are not only overcrowded but now they have a ruthless hunter ready to return at any point and cause more destruction upon Berk; possibly even killing many of his people including himself and definitely Toothless. It’s a long shot but he decides that if Berk wants to live in peace with their dragons then they need to disappear into the hidden world where the warlords and their armada along with Grimmel can’t ever find them again. They will be safe forever. It will be a human/dragon paradise that will be untouched.

Another question that comes up is:

“Well why can’t they stand and fight. That should be the message. That their ideological views would not waver because some more people threaten their home with war.” 

That’s a fair judgement to be honest, however, as Hiccup learnt in the second film from his father: “Berk is what you need to worry about, a chief protects his own” - Stoick. 

In a deleted scene from the third movie, it has this exchange between Hiccup and Valka:

“I know, I know, he has to win her over but I’m telling you, once she (the Lightfury) moves in it’ll all be perfect” - Hiccup

“Eret and I returned from the scout, Berk was burned to the ground” - Valka

“At least everyone’s safe” - Hiccup

“For now” - Valka

“No one can find us here” - Hiccup

“That’s what I used to believe, Hiccup, but they’ve found our nest in the far north too. Greedy humans, will always find a way” - Valka

“I don’t believe that” - Hiccup

“I...I know it might be hard for you to accept, but the dream that you and I yearn for, you know, this untouchable dragon utopia, I fear it just doesn’t exist. I mean, maybe in the end the dragons are safer in the wild.” - Valka

“What, with crazy people like Grimmel around?” - Hiccup

“The more dragons we bring back, the bigger of a target we all become” - Valka

“But they’re safer with us. We protect them” - Hiccup

“And we’ll continue to do so, but I fear for their safety in these large numbers. Tame dragons are more vulnerable to humans. Their trust in us becomes their weakness. In the wild, they’re better adapted to protect themselves” - Valka

“A chief protects his own, that’s what Dad always said” - Hiccup

“And he was right. But as much as we love our dragons Hiccup, they are not our own. There’s a fine line between being a protector and a captor. I only ask that you think about it” - Valka

The fact that this is a deleted scene is really frustrating because it put the themes that the movie is trying to explore into proper dialogue. Valka understands that moving around with this massive amount of dragons isn’t safe for anyone. If they were to be released into the wild then they could have a better chance at surviving. Even though the dragons will still be at danger in the wild, that’s the point of the hidden world. The dragons can live there together in complete and total safety.

Once Hiccup and Astrid discover the Hidden World and find that Toothless has settled in with the Lightfury and is safe and comfortable, he then realizes that it wouldn’t be fair to try and bring him back to New Berk. He’s found a home away from the troubles of the world. He doesn’t have to be afraid anymore. He can have a family in the peace and safety of the Hidden World as well as being surrounded by his own kind. On top of this realization, Hiccup and Astrid get attacked by a wild dragon and have to try and flee. When Toothless sees this he flies to protect his friend and take them back to New Berk where THEY will be safe, not him. As a result of this, Hiccup not only comes to the conclusion that humans aren’t meant for the Hidden World, but he finally understands what Valka was trying to tell him earlier (in that deleted scene.) The dragons WOULD be safer there. I mean, sure. They could stay up there at New Berk and they could continue to live life as they always have. But then what? What happens when another Grimmel comes around and manages to inflict worse upon Berk’s population. When will Hiccup be able to solve the entire world. The answer is, he can’t. But he can allow for the dragons to live in the Hidden World. He can give them a life where they can never be harmed again. Isn’t this better?

A statement that may come from this is that:

“Oh but that means Grimmel won. The villain literally won. What the fuck, this is so disgusting and disappointing. How can anyone like this?”

Those people are free the feel that way. However, he didn’t win. Not entirely. Yes, he completely opposed co-existence to the point where he would gladly kill any dragon to prove that point. He wants the world to continue killing dragons because that is a fundamental aspect of who he is. It proves to him that he is right. He is the self-proclaimed Nightfury Killer. But this still doesn’t mean that he wins in the end. Yes, dragons and humans do have to separate. But Grimmel’s ultimate goal was to kill all of the dragons. Wipe them off the face of the earth. From a certain perspective, he achieves this because dragons do have to live in the Hidden World away from humans, but that doesn’t mean he won. They are all still alive aren’t they? He failed in his mission to kill them. He failed in killing Toothless. He failed at his one purpose in life. So no, he didn’t win in the end. There is a difference between a villain totally and completely winning against the heroes like Thanos did at the end of Infinity War, and this, where Grimmel not only died as a result of his flawed and evil ideals but did not get to carry out the goal that made him who he is. The dragons leaving was a choice made by Hiccup. It was a sacrifice made out of love. If Grimmel was to win, then he would have had to kill Toothless and either see all the dragons locked away in cages for the rest of their lives or for them to be killed too. I could go on and on about this point in particular but I’ll stop here.

Once the final battle begins, Hiccup isn’t fighting to free the dragons so they can continue to live on in a peaceful dragon utopia like they did in HTTYD 2, he is fighting for their survival. So by the end of the battle when Grimmel is holding onto Hiccup, who is holding onto the Lightfury, he knows that the only option to save Toothless from falling to his doom is to take the harness off the Lightfury, releasing her from the power of the Death gripper venom and let go, causing Hiccup along with Grimmel, to fall to their deaths. This is the ultimate act of love. This is what the whole trilogy has been building to because for years Hiccup has remained adamant that Toothless and him belonged together. Hiccup would always be there to protect Toothless and Toothless would always be there to protect Hiccup. But after all this time of Hiccup learning that Toothless will be safe with the Lightfury in the Hidden World, he has the courage to let go and sacrifice himself for his best friend. 

After the Lightfury has saved him and all of Berk reunite with their dragons. Hiccup and Toothless both realize that after all this time of the two co-depending on each other, it’s time for them to fulfil their own destinies of being the leader of their respective tribes. 

“I was so busy fighting for a world that I wanted, I didn’t think about what you needed.” - Hiccup.

This quote clearly demonstrates Hiccup’s deeper understanding of the implications that come with his evolving emotional maturity. For him to fully grow up and become to true leader of Berk, he needs to learn to let go of his best friend. He needs to grow up. Some may call this contrived and/or unnecessary however I don’t see it that way in the slightest. The Hidden World is, as Hiccup puts it earlier in the film “a secret land at the edge of the world where dragons lived totally out of reach.” So when the dragons have the option of living in a place where they are totally safe from the outside world, then why wouldn’t they take that. (I’m honestly repeating myself at this point but I don’t care.) For Hiccup to fully be able to step into the role as the wise and selfless chief that he was always destined to become, he needed to learn the valuable lesson of letting go. If he didn’t, then he would never be able to see things from a new, better and wiser perspective. He would never be able to grow as an individual, thus possibly impacting how he rules Berk and how he deals with situations that come with being chief. He has always relied on Toothless for his strength as a person, friend, and leader, but by the end of the Hidden World, he realizes that his true strength lies within himself and Astrid. Here’s a conversation from HTTYD 2 to support this:

(Between Astrid and Hiccup towards the beginning)

“I’m not like you Astrid, you know exactly who you are, you always have but...I’m still looking. I know that I’m not my father, and I never met my mother so...what does that make me?” - Hiccup

“What your searching for, isn’t out there Hiccup. It’s in here.*points to his chest* Maybe you just don’t see it yet” - Astrid

By allowing themselves to fulfil their own personal destinies of discovering their own identities along with finding their own loved ones, they are able to say goodbye to each other and live ‘together from afar.’ The dragons will be safe, and Berk will be safe. But, even though the world believes the dragons are gone, the Berkians know otherwise. And they’ll guard the secret until the time comes when dragons can return in peace...

Also the track titled ‘Once there were Dragons’ is a fucking astonishing piece of music that every human on the being on the planet needs to listen to. Anyway thank you so much for reading this if you did. I’ve been struggling with how to present my thoughts and feelings towards this epic conclusion but I’ve been a little afraid to. I tried to on reddit but when people offered extensive constructive criticism towards the points I made, I didn’t exactly take it too well. Maybe that’s because I was getting over a hangover when I read most of it but that doesn't matter because I still didn’t handle it well. But I’ve learnt from that and chosen to take that criticism on board and now that I’ve been able to formulate my opinion the best I can, I’ve used those points they made and tried to analyze them too instead of just ignoring and flat out hand-waiving them. Anyway, if you disagree with anything I’ve said here then that’s totally cool and I’d be happy to listen to your opinions. Still thanks for reading. 

[cursebreaker-lilith]

I said I was gonna do this like a month ago and I’m late as usual lolol Anyways, have Fiona~

BASICS

Name: Fiona Fraser

Nicknames: TBD

Name Meaning: Anglicization of the Gaelic word meaning white or fair.

Gender: Cis Female

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 15

Birthday: August 20, 1875 (? Year depending on when the game is set)

Zodiac: Leo

Blood Status: Half-blood

Ethnicity/Nationality: Brazilian-Scottish

Sexuality: TBD

Appearance

Body:

Height: 158cm / 5′2

Build: Lean with light muscles

Eyes: Dark brown

Hair: Dark brown, slightly curly. Long and usually held back in a messy braid.

Skin: Light brown with freckles

Misc: Several small and mostly unnoticeable scars across her hands and ankles from dealing with animals

Material Items:

Clothing: Generally wears clothing meant for sports or plain trousers. Uncaring of most conventions for women’s clothing, considers them more guidelines than rules. Really only wears them because she’ll get in trouble with the school or because her sister wants her to.

Accessories: Not fond of wearing anything that could be easily yanked off of her body.

In their school bag: Wand, journal, animal treats, encyclopedia of common Scottish plants, another journal, textbooks, medical book, some rocks that she thinks are cool, at least have a dozen quills (she loses them frequently)

Reference:

Face Claim: TBD

Voice Claim: TBD

Personality

Traits:

+  friendly, observant, quick learner, athletic, extroverted, courteous

+/— independent, curious, quirky, blunt, impulsive, idealistic

— selfish, withdrawn, thoughtless, unreliable, flighty, forgetful

Description:

Fiona has always wanted to do things her way, and clashed with her grandfather because of this. Loves to go off on her own.

Loves learning. Mainly of the natural world, but she loves any fun trivia. Not great at learning in the usual classroom setting however.

She may not be the best at making friends, but she definitely puts her all into being cheerful and courteous.

Other:

Likes: Animals, nature, exploring, puzzles and logic, cool rocks or leaves or bugs

Dislikes: Being told what to do, sitting still, being inside, not receiving an explanation for why she can or can’t do something

MBTI: ENTP

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Hogwarts

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

OWL Classes:

Astronomy: 4/10 (A)

Charms: 7/10 (E)

DADA: 5/10 (A)

Flying: 5/10 (A)

Herbology: 8/10 (O)

History of Magic: 2/10 (P)

Potions: 6/10 (P)

Transfiguration: 6/10 (E)

OWL Electives:

Care of Magical Creatures: 10/10 (O)

Divination: 2/10 (P)

NEWT Classes:

Care of Magical Creatures: 10/10 (O)

Charms: 8/10 (E)

Herbology: 9/10 (O)

Extracurriculars:

Clubs: TBD

Quidditch: Doesn’t play Quidditch, but thinks it looks fun

Prefect or Head Boy/Girl: TBD

Best Classes:

Care of Magical Creatures Fiona has always had a fascination for the natural world and a gift in dealing with it, so it’s no surprise she immediately takes to the class.

Herbology See above. She also would frequently help her sister with gardening.

Worst Classes:

History of Magic Anything with book learning is hard for her.

Astronomy See above. She thinks it’s much more interesting than History of Magic though and at least tries to do well.

Divination She thought it would be fun but turned out to be about as poor of a Seer as possible.

Favorite Professors:

TBD

Least Favorite Professors:

TBD

Magic

1st Wand: Chestnut, Phoenix feather, 11 ½ in, springy

This is a most curious, multi-faceted wood, which varies greatly in its character depending on the wand core, and takes a great deal of colour from the personality that possesses it. The wand of chestnut is attracted to witches and wizards who are skilled tamers of magical beasts, those who possess great gifts in Herbology, and those who are natural fliers. However, when paired with dragon heartstring, it may find its best match among those who are overfond of luxury and material things, and less scrupulous than they should be about how they are obtained. Conversely, three successive heads of the Wizengamot have possessed chestnut and unicorn wands, for this combination shows a predilection for those concerned with all manner of justice.

Special Abilities: Able to see Ancient Magic

Boggart

Form: Herself, stuck to the floor and unable to move (representing being stuck in one place and unable to explore)

Riddikulus: Her plain gown turns into something ridiculous and she unsticks a foot only to fall on her butt

Amortentia

What they smell: TBD

What they smell like to others: Citrus, petrichor, lavender

Patronus

Form: Leopard

Memory: The first time she successfully healed a wounded animal and released it into the wild.

What they see in the Mirror of Erised: Her with her mother, father, and sister travelling the world

FAMILY

Sister: Fenella Fraser

Her identical twin sister. The two are very different, but very close due to the fact that they only had each other growing up. Fiona is very protective of her sister, but is also interested in seeing how things will go now that they don’t live in the same room anymore.

Grandfather: Alasdair Fraser

Fenella and Fiona were raised by their grandfather on a rural and isolated farm in Scotland since they were a baby. He was very strict and very paranoid and refused to let the girls go to Hogwarts, homeschooling them with help from Isla, who their grandfather barely tolerated. He died suddenly from illness when they were 15.

Father:  Thiago Gonçalves

A Brazilian Muggle-born who was fond of travelling and adventure. Went to Castelobruxo and was an eager student. Currently missing.

Mother: Catrìona Fraser

A Scottish pureblood raised by her strict father. Never went to Hogwarts and homeschooled by him. Left his house the second she was old enough and ran off to find an adventure. Currently missing.

Guardian: Isla MacLean

A pureblood witch who lives nearby to the Fraser farm and one of the few aware of its location. Alasdair would (begrudgingly) invite her over every two weeks or so to help teach Fenella and Fiona as Isla worked as a tutor to younger wizarding children at the nearby town. Not knowing anyone else, when their grandfather died, the two girls went to her to help deal with his death and what comes after. She has reluctantly become their caretaker/guardian for when they aren’t at Hogwarts.

Pets:

Angel An angry old tomcat that they used as a rat catcher on their farm.

Has always been fond of taking care of wounded animals, or any that live on her grandfather’s farm and considered all of them her pets too.

FRIENDS

Best Friends:

Fenella Fraser Her sister, see above.

Good Friends:

TBD

Friends:

TBD

It’s Complicated:

TBD

Love Interests:

TBD

Dormmates:

TBD

Doesn’t Interact:

TBD

Enemies:

TBD

Story

Childhood:

Homeschooled by her strict grandfather and a neighbour before his death. After that, they went to live with the neighbour for several months and she became Fenella and Fiona’s caretaker and guardian before shuffling them off to Hogwarts.

Fiona was always in trouble with her grandfather. She didn’t like being told no without a reason why and frequently broke his rules to go off exploring on her own. She still loved him and was sad when he died, but was excited to be able to properly learn things at a school.

Hogwarts:

Was also quite shocked to be separated from her sister when they were Sorted into different Houses. She took it much better than Fenella however and quickly tried to make friends in Ravenclaw. Turned out to be not great at school, but always had fun with the Ravenclaw door’s riddles.

Adulthood:

TBD

Miscellaneous

Has ADHD but it’s undiagnosed because 1800s

Decent at art, at least when it comes to drawing animals or plants.

Has her own family curse related to Ancient Magic that I will probably expand more on when the games comes out lol

[lnarizakis]

i thought i’d never see the love of my life again, but here you are, right in front of me | b. meguru

pairing: bachira meguru x gen! reader

foreword: my first time writing for blue lock and for bachira!!! hopefully i did best boy (and my bf) some justice. i had so much fun writing this and i hope you guys have fun reading it hahaha. the request i was inspired by said that the reader was the one who moved away, but uh, i made it different. i still hope this is good for u!! and i hope you guys enjoy this!!

wc: 1.9k+

look out for: angst to fluff, spoilers pertaining to bachira’s backstory, post-blue lock storyline ((made-up ending, not spoilers!!))

━━━━━━━━━━☆

"You know, I never thought you were weird."

You extended out your hand, reaching out to the poor boy beat down to the ground. He looked up to you with sadness in his eyes and defeat in his inconstant breathing. He clasped onto your hand and you pulled him up from his misery. The two of you stood on the soccer field alone, and the sadness in his eyes were washed out with relief as he embraced you, crying into your shoulder.

When Bachira pulled away, you noticed the snot that ran down his nose was tinted red, mixed with blood, and you yelped in surprise, pushing him out of the soccer field with you. He laughed at your concern as the two of you made your way towards his household.

Holding his soft hand, you maneuvered around his home as you've been there several times, towards the bathroom where you were to take care of Bachira. You set him on the edge of the sink, directly in front of you, and brought out the first-aid kit stowed away in one of the cabinets of the bathroom.

Sighing, you thought to yourself, "I wish Meguru didn't have to go through all of this. I'm here for him, and I hope he knows that." You looked up at his innocent face, dabbing the wounds inflicted by his teammates with water, washing away the dried blood. He flinched when you began treating his wounds with alcohol, and to calm his nerves you placed a hand over one of his, tightly gripping the edge of the sink on which he sat. Bachira watched your face, intently focusing on tending to his wounds, and he could feel his heart racing, not from the adrenaline of the game the two of you just played, but from how you cared for him and how you were always there for him, despite all the names he'd been called for playing independently and strangely on the field.

Bachira Meguru wanted to say he was in love with you. Though he wanted to laugh at himself for being in love at only age ten, he knew that these feelings that he had for you were real. The monster in his heart whispered in his ear, telling him so. He knew that you, too, had a monster within yourself, caring for him like the gentle spirit it was. While Meguru's own was wild and reckless, consuming his whole being, yours was there to pull him up before he sank deep into madness. He wanted to say he was in love with you because he knew you felt the same.

"Good game out there," Bachira said instead, breaking the comfortable silence. The hand on his own moved up to pinch his mouth shut, not letting him speak anymore.

"Don't talk, Meguru. Some of the dirt on your cheeks might get into your wounds." He hummed, agreeing to your command.

"You're pretty skilled at your age, (Y/N)-chan. Are you gonna be a nurse when you grow up?" Bachira asked, irking you as he agreed not to speak just seconds ago. You were a passionate lover, and it got on your nerves that Bachira didn't follow what you just advised, creating the chance that he might infect his own wounds.

"Meguru, please."

He gave a single, short nod.

When you finished, Bachira hopped off of the sink and gave you another hug, wrapping his arms around you to the point where it felt like he could touch his own shoulders. Letting go, he thanked you, and as you acknowledged his gratitude, you made your way towards the front door, leaving.

That's how it always had been: you would play soccer with Bachira and his teammates almost every day, no matter the weather or the time, and typically by the end of the game he was beaten up by whoever because of his playing style. You thought it was cool—impressive, even—but apparently his teammates didn't think so. After everyone had left, you'd lift him up from wallowing in the grass with his tears and the monster in his heart to accompany him and bring him home (sometimes on your back) to tend to the injuries he'd gotten. It was a painful routine for you to follow, but it was all you had to do to stay by Bachira's side. After all, you loved him with everything you had.

Seven years later, you were there when Bachira opened up a letter inviting him to attend a training camp called "Blue Lock." Thinking it was a mere training camp to better his skills in soccer, you thought it was something that would last a week, or probably even two, but you didn't realize that the last words he would tell you for several years were "Make sure you've got something warm for me when I come back!"

It was the first time since forever when the two of you went separate paths, and even as you continued on in high school and into university, Meguru never left your mind. You wondered if he still remembered you, as soccer would be the only thing running through his own mind at an intense training camp like Blue Lock. You have heard of boys dropping out of the camp every few weeks ever since Bachira left, and though you didn't want to admit it, you wished that he would come home to you, holding him in your arms as he cried to you about his ruined dreams. It was an unpleasant thought that sat in the back of your mind, taunting you about your selfishness. It was ironic that despite how generous you were with caring for Bachira, you were completely selfish with keeping him to yourself. Perhaps that was the effect love had on you, though you weren't so sure if he was still in love with you, too.

He was. He knew he was, and always will be in love with you as much as he was in love with soccer. He missed you everyday he was in stuck in Blue Lock, and he would constantly tell the friends he made about his love. One night, Isagi Yoichi asked him as they laid in bed about who you were, and the former might as well have called Bachira's description of you his bedtime story because he rambled on for hours on end about you. The lilting tone in Bachira's voice was reason enough for Isagi to know how much you meant to the boy.

There was a knock on the door, several years since Bachira left for Blue Lock, and you let go of the book in which you were studying for medical school to open the door. In front of you was Bachira Meguru, weary and tired. Right away he fell into your arms, and his whole weight dropped on top of you. You wrapped your arms around his torso, and he exhaled deeply. From over his shirt you could feel his toned muscles that he grew from undergoing the extensive physical training.

Bachira pulled away from you, and upon seeing your face, he smiled just as he did when the two of you were children. "It's nice seeing you again, (Y/N)-chan. I missed you." He pinched your cheek with his calloused fingers, to which you whined. He laughed heartily at the exchange, and held your hand as he dragged you out of the house.

"Meguru! I was studying!" The two of you talked as if he never left.

"You can do that later! Let's go out!" He exclaimed, pulling you to his side.

Flustered at his words, you stuttered out what seemed like a question. Bachira simply laughed at your response. He took you towards the nearby beach of Chiba, and as soon as your feet touched the sand he collapsed onto the soft surface, beckoning you to do the same. An uneasy silence, unfamiliar to how it was in the past, rested over you two as you watched the calm waters in front of you.

"So, how was Blue Lock?" You asked, hoping to get some answer of the mysterious program. You had so much to ask him and to tell him after all these years. You turned your gaze to Meguru who still stayed watching the quiet waves.

"They didn't want me. I was playing against real monsters, (Y/N)-chan. More than the monster in me. In you." Bachira turned towards you and poked your chest. The both of you chuckled a bit. He sighed, then fell onto the sand, lying down. You did the same, and you were both looking up at the afternoon sky. "I don't know, (Y/N). I went to Blue Lock to find someone who could play with me, and don't get me wrong, I found people, but..." He paused.

"I also went to improve and get better. Like everyone else there. And I guess I just wasn't enough."

Frowning, you felt a pang in your heart and the initiative to reach out to him again.

"Don't say that, Meguru. You're amazing at soccer. You're always impressing everyone on the field, making everyone seem like a fool."

Bachira turned to face you, and you to him. "You really think so?"

"Of course. You're an amazing person, Meguru,” you told him with absolute certainty in your voice.

“I love you, (Y/N)-chan.”

“I love you too.” A pause. “Wait, what?” You sat up in the sand to look at Bachira, who lay beside you, smiling giddily up at you with a slight blush painting his cheeks. His hands were rested behind his head.

“I said I love you. And you love me, too.”

“I also missed you,” you added. Bachira noted how you never denied your loving him.

“I missed you, too. Did you know I never stopped talking about you one night that everyone on my team kicked me out of our room and I had to sleep in the bathroom that night?”

You laughed. “Did you really?”

“Yes! And it was so cold in there, too. No one gave me any blankets or anything!” The both of you laughed as you extended a hand to reach out to Bachira, helping him sit up on the sand. He never let go of your hand, and instead he clasped his fingers between yours. You both watched the intimacy of his actions, and you were slightly afraid he could feel the sudden warming of your hand.

Looking into his golden eyes, you could sense a seriousness about him. “You know, I wasn’t kidding about what I said,” he told you.

You had a feeling you knew what he was talking about, but you wanted to confirm it. “What did you say?”

“That I love you,” Bachira said.

“And I love you too,” you replied, pushing him down with you on top. Laughter rang in the air as you cupped his cheeks, shaking with his giggling.

“Shh, Meguru,” you said, leaning down. You gave him a soft kiss on his lips. Pulling away, he looked at you like you were his everything, as he placed a hand behind your neck to bring you down for another kiss. Whispers from others on the beach floated around you, some laughing at how ridiculous the two of you looked. Meguru opened his eyes to look in their direction, his insecurities from back when he was younger awakening.

“Meguru, don’t pay attention to ‘em. Who cares if they think we look weird? I’ve told you this before, but I don’t think you’re weird. I don’t think we’re weird!”

“Pssh, when did you tell me that?” He asked, before you leaned in to kiss him again.

[shipmistress9]

The Chief And Her Bride

Fandom: HTTYD

Rating: E

Pairing: Hiccup/Astrid

Theme: fem!cup. femslash. fluff. smut

Summary: Astrid loves Hiccup dearly, but she never expected for their relationship to last. So it falls to Hiccup to convince her girlfriend that she won't let anyone separate them. Not even her own father.

AN: Finally! I've been working on this little story for ages, and now, finally, the first chapter is done. What do we have? Female Hiccup and Astrid, in a canon-like setting after HTTYD where Stoick lives, Valka didn't stay, and RTTE is semi-canon. I take what fits. This mostly was supposed to be a test for me whether I even can write femslash. I'm still practising, but I also like this story very much. Also, I thought a while about whether to change Hiccup's name or not, but in the end, I decided against it.

. o O o .

It didn’t take Astrid long to find Hiccup. There was only one place her girlfriend would go when she was stressed or upset, and so Astrid wasn’t surprised at all when she spotted Toothless’s black form lounging near the pond when she and Stormfly reached the cove. Hiccup sat to the side, her back against a rock, her good leg tugged under herself, and her eyes gazing unseeingly into the distance.

After landing, Astrid affectionately scratcher her dragon at her belly before sending her off to play. Then she sauntered over to where Hiccup sat, still lost in her thoughts.

“Hey,” Astrid greeted her as she got closer.

Hiccup blinked before turning her head, then gave her a warm if a little tense smile. “Hey.”

Astrid let herself slide to the ground next to Hiccup. “So… what happened?” she asked. There was no point in pretending nothing had happened; Hiccup had left the village without a word after talking to her father, and Astrid knew Hiccup too well to be fooled.

Hiccup gave a suppressed sigh. She reached for a fallen leaf and nervously picked it apart with her nimble fingers.

“This morning, my dad wanted to talk to me,” she eventually said, and Astrid nodded. She’d noticed that much. “It’s… After what happened with Drago, he wants me to be prepared to take over the village at any moment. Which makes sense, I guess, with how Dad almost got killed in that fight.” She looked up, her pretty green eyes meeting Astrid’s. “And I don’t really mind. I mean, I get it. I need to be prepared and all. It’s just–” She broke off, lips pressed into a thin line.

Astrid reached for Hiccup’s hand, entwining her fingers with her own. “What is it, babe?”

Oh, she had an idea of what Stoick had brought up for his daughter to be so upset. But, maybe, it was something else. Maybe they would have a last reprieve.

Hiccup swallowed. “Dad... He wants me… wants me to get married.” She scratched at her neck and gave Astrid a tense look. “He said that, for the good of the people, I should get a strong partner, someone who can help me carry the burden. Mum returning to live at her sanctuary must have hit him harder than he’s letting on.” Hiccup chuckled weakly, but quickly turned serious again, solemn even.

However, Astrid had barely listened anymore after Hiccup’s first words. Ever since they’d confessed their love to each other two years ago, she’d known it would come to this. Awkward as it had been at first, Astrid was never as happy as in the minutes she got to spend with Hiccup, feeling her touch, her kiss, her body against her own. She loved her, her wit, her intelligence, the way they constantly challenged each other in different ways. But right from the beginning, there had always been an end date for them. The village had accepted their relationship without much irritation, even Stoick. But that was probably because they’d all known it couldn’t last.

Slowly, Astrid withdrew her hand from Hiccup’s, hoping that she wouldn’t notice how much her fingers were shaking. This was going to be hard, for both of them. But she knew it would be even harder for Hiccup if she knew how much their inevitable breakup affected Astrid.

“So, it’s over then,” she whispered, nodding. Gods, why was her voice so brittle? “And I think Stoick is right, Berk will need strong leaders. We can’t only rely on the dragons to protect us. So, uh, did… did he already pick a husband for you? Which alliance would be the most beneficial? Dagur would certainly be interested. Or what about Throk? An alliance with the Defenders of the Wing could help boost your credibility as a female leader. I mean, nobody would ever doubt Mala’s ability to lead her people…”

She trailed off, a weird chuckle dropping off her lips even as she had to avert her face so Hiccup wouldn’t notice the shimmer of tears in her eyes. Gods, she couldn’t start crying now. She was strong and independent, a warrior, captain of the Berk Guard. A broken heart wouldn’t throw her off track, it was nothing.

Even though being with Hiccup was all she really wanted…

“Wait, what?” Hiccup’s words broke her out of her spiralling thoughts. She sounded… off. Confused. Lost. 

With a sigh, Astrid forced herself to meet Hiccup’s gaze again. “Well, we always knew it would end that way, right? Us, I mean. And… i-it’s okay. I won’t hold it against you. Berk comes first, and it’s your place to lead them. I just…” She let out a hiccupy sigh. “I don’t know, maybe I’ll ask Atali whether I can stay with them for a while, and—”

Astrid gasped when Hiccup reached for her hands again, a strange urgency in that gesture that made her look up again.

“What are you talking about?” Hiccup asked, confused. Her hands were shaking now, too, Astrid noticed. “I… I won’t marry either of them, no matter what Dad wants. I won’t give up on us! He didn’t choose anyone for me, wanted me to choose a partner for myself. And I already have. I—”

She broke off, biting her lip and her shoulders slumping as insecurity overtook her. Astrid had seen this expression so often on her… Out of reflex, her hands squeezed Hiccup; reassuringly. No matter how much her heart was hurting at the prospect of leaving Hiccup, she would always support her.

Hiccup looked up again, the expression in her eyes so pleading and vulnerable that it made Astrid choke. ”Astrid, I… I chose you.”

Astrid’s eyes grew wide. “What?”

Hiccup pulled up her shoulders, her gaze intensifying. “Everything we accomplished over the years, the Edge, the Dragon Hunters, Drago… I couldn’t have done any of that without you. And I thought… well… that it would always be like that. You and me, together. You’re the only person I can imagine spending my life with. So I choose you. If… if you want me?”

For a minute, Astrid could only stare, stunned. Then laughter broke out of her, and she nodded eagerly and stammered, “I… Yes! Yes, of course, I do.” 

But no matter how happy Hiccup’s words made her, the feeling only lasted for a brief moment , only until reality caught up with her again. Her shoulders slumped, her smile falling off her face. “But… it’s impossible,” she murmured.

“What?” Oh, Hiccup sounded so hurt.

It tore Astrid’s heart to pieces. Inwardly chastising herself, Astrid pushed her own pain aside, and said, “Oh, Hiccup… I’d love to tie the knot with you and stand by your side, you know that, right? But we can’t do that. Stoick won’t allow it. The traditions and rules are clear.” Her eyes were burning, and she looked away; she didn’t want Hiccup to see how sad she was. “Your father will insist on you marrying a man, someone to forge a political alliance, if possible. And you’d need an heir anyway. I won’t be in your way to fulfil your duty.”

Swallowing, Astrid tried not to think about it. Unlike herself, Hiccup had never been with anyone but her. Hiccup wasn’t even interested in men. The thought of her being forced into a marriage she didn’t want… it wasn’t fair!

“So-so you would reject me? You’d leave?” Hiccup’s voice sounded hollow, forlorn. So small and lost.

Weakly, Astrid nodded, shrugged. “I hope that you’ll be happy. As happy as you can be. But… I don’t think I have the strength to stand by and watch, at least not right away. And… maybe it’ll even help you settle in more easily, if I’m not around to remind you…” She paused, pulling away. “I hope you can forgive me one day, but–”

“No!”

Astrid looked up, scared of what she would see. She’d never wanted to cause Hiccup pain.

But to her relief, there was no pain in her eyes. All she saw there was the typical Haddock stubbornness, mixed with traces of excitement and joy. 

“No, ‘but’, Astrid. If this is what you want too, if you’ll accept me… then nothing will come between us.”

“But your father—”

Hiccup shook her head, her long auburn locks flying around, wild and untamed as always. “I won't let him come between us. He likes you, that much I already know. And he told me he’s happy to see me happy with you. So, if he still wants to separate us… then…” She took a deep breath. “Then he’ll have to train another heir.”

Astrid’s eyes widened. “You’d give up your birthright?”

“For you? Yes. I want to lead our people and I’m prepared for this duty. But only on my terms. I’ll do it with you, together. Or not at all.”

Astrid needed a second to let Hiccup’s words sink in. Then she let out a weak laugh and threw herself around her neck, knocking them both down into the grass. They kissed, an overwhelming sense of giddiness making them both giggle against each other’s lips.

When they came up to breathe again, Astrid’d mind was consumed by overwhelming happiness. Never had she even dared to hope for this outcome, but here now they were, and with this new assurance, she wouldn’t let anyone get between them, either. 

 She noticed that Hiccup’s hands were trembling, though, so Astrid took them in her own. She could sense how agitated she was, and breathed soft and calming kisses onto her knuckles. Sometimes, Hiccup needed a minute to get order into her thoughts.

“What’s up?” she eventually asked, looking up at Hiccup with a reassuring smile. 

Hiccup smiled back, though hesitantly, and her hands tightened around Astrid’s. “I was… pretty nervous, to be honest,” she said with a shaky laugh. “I wasn’t sure how you’D react, and… “ She shook her head, but then suddenly became serious. “Astrid… Why did you say that? Earlier, I mean. About how we always knew it would end that way? What was that about?”

Astrid bit her lip and averted her face. After Hiccup’s vehement confession just minutes ago, this felt silly now. With an embarrassed shrug, she said, “It’s… what I thought would happen, what I was prepared for. I love you, Hiccup, you know that, and these past two years with you have only deepened my feelings for you. But… well, I always expected we’d have to part one day, that this happiness I felt with you would only be temporary. That to become Chief, you'd enter a political marriage, or…” She trailed off, shrugging helplessly.

“Oh,” Hiccup said. 

She needed a minute to process, time Astrid used to battle down her own worries. She didn’t want for Hiccup to step down, knew how much the people of Berk meant to her. But that she was willing to risk her father’s anger for her meant a lot to Astrid. And maybe it wouldn’t even have to come this far. Maybe they’d be able to convince Stoick…

“So…” Hiccup eventually said. ”Throughout all this time, you thought we’d have to break up, eventually?”

Slowly, Astrid nodded. She looked up, searching for what to say, but never got the chance. From one second to the other, Hiccup was right in front of her, her hands cradling her face and her lips pressed to her own. Astrid gasped, happily surprised. Usually, Hiccup was much more timid, shy even, so her starting anything was rare. 

“So that’s why you sometimes acted so reserved,” Hiccup murmured against her lips. “And here I feared you wouldn’t want to stay with me.”

“What? You—”

But Hiccup interrupted her with another kiss. “Doesn’t matter. You spent two years thinking we couldn’t last. That I would leave you at my dad’s command. That I wouldn't do anything to stay with you.” She came closer, one hand caressing along Astrid’s face while the other landed on her waist, holding her in a light embrace. “Astrid, these past two years have been the happiest of my life. I can’t even put into words how much you mean to me, how empty my live would be without you. But while I was happy, you always worried, and I didn’t even notice.” 

Astrid wanted to object, to assure her that she’d been happy, too. But before she could get out even one word, Hiccup kissed her again, more energetic than usual, and it left Astrid breathless, happiness fluttering in her chest. Her hands came up to pull Hiccup closer, wandering along her soft curves, exploring her. Hiccup was always shy, hesitant about carrying things further, so it had become their routine that Astrid was the one to take the initiative. But when her hands reached Hiccups breasts, palming them through her tunic and playing with her covered nipples, she shook her head. 

“Today is my turn,” she breathed, joy and confidence dancing in her green eyes when they met Astrid’s. “Can I do this for you? Please?”

A little overwhelmed, Astrid nodded. She enjoyed taking the lead in their lovemaking, but seeing Hiccup like this, confident and eager to take over? It was something else. It meant that Hiccup trusted her enough to allow herself to make mistakes, and that was possibly a greater gift than anything else. 

They ended up lying in the soft gras, kissing, groping. Astrid revelled in feeling Hiccup’s soft curves beneath her hands and against her own body, the same as it had been yesterday, and yet, everything felt so new. More meaningful. Complete. 

Only slowly, they discarded one piece of clothing after the other. There was no hurry in Hiccup’s motions; she thoroughly appreciated every bit of revealed skin with kisses and caresses, leaving Astrid tingling all over. She tried to return the favour, at least a little, but Hiccup was too thorough, too distracting for her to do much but take her attention. Prior to being with Astrid, she didn’t have any experience with sex and intimacy. But she’d always been observant in everything, a quick learner, and this was no different. Hiccup knew which spots on Astrid’s body were sensitive and how to best stimulate them, had memorised her like a map, and it didn’t take much for her to turn her into a helpless and needy mess.

“Hiccup…” she mewled, hardly able to do more than cling to curvy hips or clutch at the grass beneath them.

But there was no reprieve. Hiccup was kneeling across her left leg, the right lifted and loosely wrapped around her waist. She was leaning down to distract Astrid with kisses, hot and open-mouthed, while her hand worked between Astrid’s thighs, slowly buy relentlessly. Long and nimble fingers caressed along her folds and brushed over her clit, making her body tremble with desire.

If Astrid had had the mind for it, she might have regretted teaching Hiccup about teasing and edging, about how to drive her lover insane with building pleasure. But as it was, Astrid’s mind was entirely empty safe for the wonderful, amazing, merciless things Hiccup made her feel. By now, her fingers were inside her, moving in and out in a pace just quick enough to keep her from calming down. She barely managed to open her eyes and look up into beautiful green eyes, Hiccup’s long auburn curls falling around them like a curtain. There was a flash of eager satisfaction in those eyes, a smirk tugging at full lips as she curled her fingers. Her aim was perfect, hitting Astrid’s g-spot and drawing a cry from her lips. Her back arched at the burst of pleasure, but it wasn’t enough to reach her climax, and it soon became clear that Hiccup wasn’t planning to let her soon, either. 

Astrid lost all sense of time, writhing and bucking beneath Hiccup’s confident ministrations for what felt like hours. It felt so good to give herself up and into Hiccup’s care. Astrid trusted her with no exceptions, and so she did the only thing she could, took it all until she felt like she would combust any moment now. 

“Oh, please,” she whimpered as Hiccup shifted the angle once again, just a tiny bit but it was enough to push her away from that edge once again. “P-please, Hiccup. I…” 

She couldn’t even form coherent words anymore, but it seemed to be enough nonetheless, Hiccup sensing that she couldn’t take much more and showing mercy. 

“Yes,” Hiccup breathed, her mouth at her ear, lips nipping at sensitive skin. Her movements sped up, fingers thrusting into her and always hitting the mark. Her thumb rubbed at her clit, over and over, until Astrid’s body became rigid, and the waves of pleasure broke above her. 

A cry tore itself from Astrid’s throat as she came, back arching and toes curling. Her hands clutched at whatever they could find, and her head rolled uncontrollably from one side to the other, the intensity of her climax almost too much for her to bear. It consumed her, head to toe, a sensation like lightning shooting through her body. It made her arms and legs shake, made colourful lights explode behind her eyes, and made her scream and yell without any filter. 

Once it was over, she only slowly found her way back into reality. Around her, the world was spinning and swimming out of focus, her body not fully reacting as it was supposed to. 

“That was… oh, wow. Amazing!” she gasped after a minute, still catching her breath. She finally managed to focus her gaze on Hiccup who was leaning over her, with a smug grin on her lips and her eyes beaming.

“Well, I had the best teacher.”

They both laughed, then Hiccup laid down next to her, both entangled in a tight embrace. 

“Just give me a few minutes, then I’ll get back to you,” Astrid murmured. She felt heavy, sleepy, but it wouldn’t be fair to leave Hiccup hanging like that. 

Hiccup chuckled, but it sounded strained. “No need for that now,” she said, her voice a little tense. 

Her arms tightened around Astrid, her finger digging into her arm as if to hold on to her. “First, he should talk to my dad.” 

. o O o .

AN: Sooo, that was that. :) Thoughts and comments highly appreciated.

[ythankucaptainmccoy]

Final Frontier: Unwanted Job Chapter 2

Alright guys this is the second chapter, and if y’all have any questions about the fic or anything mentioned in the fic let me know. I will eventually make some background story for Cait/Queen, but it will probably come in bits and pieces. I’m also going to say there is going to be a lot of pining between Queen and Catfish! Warnings: Alcohol, Blood, Cursing, Violence, mentions of death, past relationship abuse and PTSD.

-------------------

Sounds of clanking plates and the smell of food is what woke Cait from her sleep. She rubbed her eyes and looked towards the open kitchen that was under the loft. Catfish was making food and Benny was serving it on plates. They were also talking in hushed whispers, and every once in a while she would hear her name. She quietly got up and stalked towards the kitchen. “Good morning Queen”, Benny said over his shoulder. “Good morning”, Cait smirked. 

“Catfish’s menu consists of biscuits and gravy with bacon”, Benny announced. “Smells good Fish. I didn’t know you could cook”, she beamed. Catfish turned and smiled at her, “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me Reina”. Cait shivered as he put some spanish in his sentence. She would never truly admit it, but she loved when he spoke spanish and how easily it rolled out of his mouth. As she watched his muscles move under his black shirt she noticed Benny. He was out of Catfish’s line of sight and thank God he was. 

Benny was rolling his hips and making an ass slapping motion in front of his crotch. “You okay there Ben?”, Ironhead asked as he made his way out of the guest room. Benny immediately stopped as Catfish turned around only seeing Benny standing there looking ashamed and Queen blushing like mad. “Do I even want to know?”, Catfish questioned with the cock of his brow. “NO! I mean...no he was just being an ass”, she told him. “So where is the coffee?” Ironhead asked, trying to change the subject.

“Here I’ll get it”, Cait said as she went to the cabinets. She reached up into the cabinet to start searching for the coffee grounds. Catfish was watching out of the corner of his eye as she reached farther into the cabinet. Her ass was so enticing to stare at, and he would have continued to stare if it wasn’t for Ironhead clearing his throat and motioning him to go help her. Cait almost jumped when she felt Catfish come up behind her and press against her. 

He pulled the coffee grounds down and handed them to her. “Thank you”, she gratified. “Your welcome”, he smiled. He went back to the stove to continue cooking as Cait started the coffee. “Ya know Pope and Redfly need to get up and eat. There is plenty of work that needs to be done around the ranch”, she announced. Benny grinned as he slipped towards the guest room. Once he slipped in they could hear shouts from Pope and then from Redfly. 

Benny came bounding out of the room as Pope and Redfly came barging out of the room. “Look fellas Queen said you all needed to get up”, Benny told them as he pulled Queen in front of himself. “What for? We don’t leave for the next couple days?”, Pope groaned. “Because you babies agreed in exchange for crashing at my place that y’all would help me with ranch chores”, she stated with her arms crossed. “You can’t be serious”, Redfly said. “Oh I’m dead serious”, Cait grinned. Once everyone had finished their breakfast she gave them each a list of things that needed to be done.

“Benny you have cleaning Chief and Takoda’s stalls and putting in fresh shavings if they need it, and to fill up their water tanks and put hay in the hay holders for them. Ironhead you will man the four wheeler with the trailer on the back where you will take Redfly to the trees I felled in the past weeks. Redfly will take the chainsaw and cut up said trees. Then you can haul it back to the barn for the log splitter. Pope you will be manning the log splitter, it’s super easy, and I’ll show how to start it before I leave”, she explained.

“Okay. What about Catfish and you?”, Benny asked, smirking. “Me and Cat are going to take Chief and Takoda to ride the fence line and make repairs where needed and to check the creeks to make sure they haven’t frozen over. If they have then when we get back I’ll have to get the big tanks out and put them out for the cattle”, she explained as she grabbed her jacket. “Oh and I would dress warmly boys it snowed last night”, she told them. 

She shrugged on her coat only to turn around to look at the guys. “Come on you lazy shits lets go”, she berated. They quickly went to get their things and headed out to the barn to start the day. She got everything together that Ironhead and Redfly would need, and loaded it onto the trailer. Once they headed out she showed Pope how to man the log splitter and where to stack the pieces after they were split. Then she showed Catfish how to brush Chief and pick his hooves. Then she went to start on Takoda, and he was already waiting at his stall door for the day.

Once she had groomed her horse and made sure Catfish did a good job on Chief she showed him how to saddle him and put the bridle on. Catfish watched in absolute wonder and some apprehension. “Look, you need to relax. These guys are mustangs that I broke. You have to trust them because if not they spook at every little thing. Just relax. Besides I gave you the older one because he is a bit calmer”, she laughed. 

“He was once wild?”, Catfish questioned. “Yepp I went out and got him from the Bureau of Land Management when they had a round up day. He was the only Grulla stallion that stood out to me so I took him. He has been very easy going since I got him. Takoda the sorrel over there that I’ll be riding is still young and feisty at times that’s who I’ll be riding”, she smiled. “Do you think you can handle it?”, she asked, biting her lip. “Yeah I think I can handle it”, he nodded. 

Cait led her horse out with Cat leading his out as well. “Alright get on from his left side just like this”, she instructed as she showed him. He put his foot in the stirrup and hoisted himself up and onto the back of the horse. Cait mounted her horse and looked at Catfish to instruct him how to hold the reins in one hand and how to steer and how to make him move forward. He was definitely out of his comfort zone, but after a few practice rounds he had relaxed much to Cait’s delight.

“Alright so we will start at the fence here and make our way to the four separate pastures”, she pointed out. “Alright hermosa lead the way”, he hummed. With that she gave leg pressure and took off at a canter. Chief not wanting to be left behind sped up to a canter as well to keep up. Cait couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her when she looked back to see the look of panic on his face. “Relax and ride him like you would a rocking horse. Rock your hips”, she instructed.

Finally he straightened his posture and started to ride better. It was a nice cool day and by mid day she found that the creeks hadn’t frozen over yet. “So where did you learn all this? I mean I know your family owned a ranch, but what made you buy one yourself”, Catfish asked her. “Well honestly I missed home and the good days work. So I decided to have all this built with the money I had. It keeps me busy, and it keeps me in shape”, she commented. 

“Don’t you get lonely out here though?”, he inquired. “Sometimes I do, but not a lot of men are willing to date or settle down with a woman who is so independent”, Cait mumbled. “Well they are idiots. A woman like you is hard to come by and great when you need help”, he praised. He noticed the way her cheeks flushed at the praise he had given her. “I mean I would love to have a normal ranch life. Hell the thought of having children scares me, but if I were with the right man that was supportive and there for me I would gladly settle down, but I just don’t think that I would find that out here ya know”, she ranted.

“Sure men may be a little intimidated by a woman who is independent, but I don’t think that is the sole reason”, he said. “What do you mean?”, Cait asked looking down at a piece of fencing that was down. “Maybe they just don’t know how to take care of you and take care of you or what you really need”, he mused. She mulled it over in her head as she got down and grabbed the tools she would need from her saddle bag. “Oh and what would I need Fish?”, she grunted as she mended the fence. 

“Maybe a man who could cook and help you with chores. A man who could make you smile without having to do anything. Someone who will treat you as an equal and not just like he owns you”, he starts but falls silent when Cait stiffens. “I don’t think any of those things are the main reason”, she huffed. “What do you mean?”, he asks. “I...well lets just say I have trust issues and that's the true reason I haven’t met anyone”, she hurriedly stated.

Catfish could tell that she was different as her horse nudged her. She had fallen silent after that statement and seemed to fold in on herself. They rode in silence for a while as he tried to figure out what to say to her, but nothing came to mind. They mended a couple more places, and finally finished around two in the afternoon. “Cait do you want to talk about it”, he asked as they untacked the horses and brushed them out and put them in their stalls. The others had made it back earlier and were finishing up.

When she didn’t answer he grabbed her arm to get her attention, but the look of horror that crossed her face and the flinching as if he would strike her had him reeling back as if touching her had burned. Her breathing quickened and she stumbled backwards away from him. “Queen it’s okay. Hermosa whats wrong?”, he questioned. She ran from him towards the open fields, and it wasn’t a moment later that Benny had him pinned against the barn wall. “What the hell did you do to her Fish!” Benny yelled.  “I didn’t do anything. I swear I just grabbed her arm and she flinched back like I was going to hit her”, he said with a pained look. 

“Shit!”, Benny cursed. He dropped Catfish and sprinted out to look for you. Ironhead came up beside Catfish, and grasped his shoulder. “We need to go after her because she looked like she was on the verge of an attack”, he concernedly stated. “Look there is something I need to tell you about Cait. Benny is the best at helping her through something like this. Come on let's get inside and I’ll tell you all about it”, Ironhead informed.

Once inside Ironhead helped get lunch together and sat down at the island bar to explain things. “After we got back from the last job a year ago Cait started dating this guy. At first me and Benny liked him. He seemed able to take care of her and be her rock when she needed him. She was suffering from PTSD, and at first he handled it well. Then the verbal abuse started and we started to notice. Then they took a two week vacation and when they came back Fish...she...man she was covered in bruises and had broken ribs”, Ironhead relayed.

“Why didn’t she call one of us or leave that puta”, Fish growled. Just thinking of a man saying anything to her or hitting her made his blood boil. “I don’t know I think she had just convinced herself that this was how things would be for her because of the PTSD she was having. Anyway it took two months before we convinced her to leave him. When he found out he tried to commit suicide with her in the car. He drove into a frozen lake. If it hadn’t been for some people who saw the incident she would have died”, Ironhead continued. 

“Ese hijo de puta”, Catfish swore. “Well I said he tried to commit suicide he succeeded, and she hasn’t dated anybody since”, Ironhead finished. “That’s what she meant earlier when she said she had a hard time trusting men, and no wonder she ran”, he huffed. They all started to worry when Benny came back when it started to get dark. He was carrying Cait and she was limp which caused all of them to quickly make room for her by the fire. “I found her lying in the snow under one of the trees by the farthest creek”, Benny told them. 

“She’s freezing”, Pope said as he felt her head. “We need blankets and lots of pillows hurry”, Catfish ordered. Everyone looked at him with shock. Catfish was always reserved and took a back seat in situations like these, but they quickly fell out of their shocked state when he yelled at them to get moving. Every blanket and pillow in the house was put in a pallet by the fire, and they all watched as Catfish watched over her. She started to stir a little, and when she opened her eyes they all breathed a sigh of relief.

“You scared me hermosa. How are you feeling?”, he asked her. “Cold and hungry”, she whispered in a hoarse voice. Benny scrambled to make some soup as Catfish pulled her out of the blankets only to pull her into his lap, and cover them both with the blanket. She was still shivering and her skin was like ice. “We need to get you out of your wet clothes hermosa”, he told her. “My clothes are upstairs in my dresser”, she said shakily. He stood up with her and carried her up the stairs. 

“Do you think you can undress and redress yourself?”, Catfished questioned. She tried a couple of times, but her shivering made it too difficult. “Is it okay if I help you?”, he asked soothingly. One harsh shiver wracked her body as she chewed her lip in contemplation. “Yeah it’s okay”, she nodded. Making sure his movements were slow and soft in order to not spook her again, he peeled her jacket off. He tossed it over the railing where he could hear Redfly bitch about getting hit in the face with a soaking wet jacket. 

Redfly’s rant made her giggle, and he couldn’t help but chuckle a little. Next he slowly pulled her boots off and set them near the stairs. Next came her shirt and under armour that he pulled off slowly. Once she was free of her shirts he tried to avert his eyes away from her breasts that were being caged in by a black push up bra. His gaze wandered over the newly exposed skin and he saw old scars and some that looked newer. 

How many of those had been given by that bastard you had called a boyfriend once. He tried to focus again and helped her out of her jeans and socks. “I think you're blushing Fish”, she chuckled then shivered. That shiver wasn’t due to the cold though it was because of the brush of his hands along her ribcage. “Do you think you can do the rest?”, he questioned. You watched how he seemed to get nervous as his Adam's apple bobbed. “I think so, but what if I need help”, she breathed.

“I’ll sit on the top stair facing away, but if you need me I’ll help”, he whispered. “Such a gentleman”, she sighed. He smirked but turned to sit on the top stair as she managed her sports bra and panties. Once she was naked she pulled fresh panties, a button up flannel shirt and sweats on. Fish would be lying if he said he didn’t peak when she was buttoning her shirt up. Once she was dressed he helped her downstairs where Benny had some chicken noodle soup waiting in a bowl. Redfly and Pope retired to their rooms once they knew she was going to be alright.

“I’m off to bed. Benny you should too it’s been a long day”, Ironhead told him. “No that’s okay I think I’m going to stay up a little while”, Benny told him. Cait didn’t see the look that Ironhead gave his brother of they need to work this out get the fuck out of here. Benny finally caught on and said his goodnights and tried to act like he nodded off to sleep. “Look about earlier I’m sorry”, Catfish apologized. “It isn’t your fault I shouldn’t have acted like a scared child”, Cait responded. 

“No you had every right after what you have been through”, he stated. A look of horror crossed her face knowing that he now knew of why she acted the way she had. “Hermosa the boys told me everything and no man should ever have done the things he did to you. If I would have known what was happening I would have come to get you”, he said hanging his head. “But you didn’t know. Don’t beat yourself up over my mistakes”, she consoled. “No hermosa. Never ever think that it was your fault for what happened. He wasn’t a man he was a coward”, Catfish spat angrily then softened when he saw your frown.

“You should get some sleep”, she told him. “And so should you”, he retorted playfully. Cait started to walk toward the pallet on the floor she had made the night before, but she was scooped up by strong arms. She squealed as Catfish lifted her into his arms bridal style and carried her upstairs. “You will sleep in your own bed tonight”, he stated matter of factly. “But I will not have you sleeping on the floor”, she protested. “Fine then we can share the bed”, he shrugged. 

“Well you have seen me half naked so what's the harm right”, she laughed nervously. “I promise hermosa I will stay on my side as long as you stay on your side”, he laughed. She never realized how much she loved his boyish laugh until now. He deposited her onto her side of the bed and then he lay on the other covering them both. “I wonder what the guys will think of us sharing a bed”, she joked. “We will probably never hear the end of it”, he joked back.

Sleep found both of them rather fast that night. Down in the main area Benny was trying to contain his giddiness of what he just witnessed a few minutes ago. Cait had seemed so happy in his arms, and Fish seemed in such high spirits too. He enjoyed seeing her so open with someone since her ex and he would be damned if he was going to let anything or anyone come between them. Besides she just admitted that Fish had seen her half naked, and the icing on the cake was they were sharing a bed.

----------------

Oh my gosh guys this one was long, but I figured that I would give some background on Cait. This is my first time really writing about this kind of stuff so don’t judge me. Hope you all enjoy these as I will keep posting them as long as I have ideas and I have so many for Catfish and Queen.

[siriusmuch]

years | lily evans

pairing: lily evans x reader ; sirius black x reader

warnings: angst. lots and lots of angst.

word count: about 4k, my longest story yet!

summary: requested by anon — prompt #91 (in the background, the music plays, a sad tune, full of wistful piano and haunting violin. there is nobody left to hear it.) from this list. you loved a lot of people, but you loved lily evans like you did no other.

a/n: thank you for the request! i hope you like this, i hate writing things with no happy endings but i couldn’t resist. there’s not going to be a part two for this, sorry! there is a part with sirius x reader in this, although it’s not the main ship. you’ll understand as you read on :) sorry that the ending is a bit rushed :(

masterlist here

-

1971.

In your first year of Hogwarts, you remember everything about your first day vividly. Your parents sent you off with a sad farewell, and you promised to write to them often. They shed a few tears, and you almost missed the train by how long your hugs with them were. They peppered your face in kisses, your mother holding onto your father’s chest as you waved goodbye to them the final time. You knew it was extreme, but you were 11, and you were going to Hogwarts.

You’ve been waiting for this day your entire life.

Your parents were the sweetest people you knew. Your birth parents had fallen ill with the Dragon Pox when you were five, and you were constantly around caretakers until they had passed. You didn’t remember them to the extent you would’ve liked. You were put up for adoption, and your parents — who were also wizards — welcomed you into the family without ever looking back.

You were exposed to tragedy early in your life, but that never stopped you.

You ended up sharing a train car with two other girls your age, although the three of you didn’t end up becoming very good friends. Excitement and jitters filled your conversations, although you were all sorted into different houses.

Upon arriving at Hogwarts, you were in awe. You’d heard stories about the beauty of Hogwarts, with their floating candles to the castle-like interior. You’d ever tried reading Hogwarts: A History, although you got bored quickly and opted to play quidditch in your backyard instead.

When your name was finally called, you took a seat and the Sorting Hat was placed upon your head. You beamed, although your leg shook with how nervous you were. Both your birth parents were Gryffindors, although your adoptive parents were Hufflepuffs. You didn’t mind getting sorted in either house.

‘Oh, a (Y/L/N)?’ The Sorting Hat hummed, and you nodded. Although you were adopted, your last name never changed. You appreciated that your parents never did so, because even though you didn’t consider your birth parents mom and dad, at least you had a piece of them with you. ‘Your parents were the greatest Gryffindors I’ve seen, although you have a heart of pure gold. The way your heart swells when you think of your parents show me your Hufflepuff heart. You’d do well in either of those houses.’

You beamed, nerves quickly washing away. You had grown up with Hufflepuff ideals, so you weren’t surprised that you were considered for Hufflepuff. ‘But… I think you’d do better as a Gryffindor. You have great things ahead of you, (Y/N). So…’

Your eyebrows furrowed at what the Sorting Hat meant by “great things”, but before you could ask — think? — the Sorting Hat yelled, “Gryffindor!”

Moving off the seat, you walked towards the Gryffindor table, sitting in the closest empty seat you could find. As more people got sorted, you turned to the girl next to you, a red-head with stunning green eyes, and introduced yourself.

“Hi! I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!” You smiled, not knowing what was in store for you for the next ten years.

-

1972.

By the time second year rolled around, you had befriended the infamous Marauders. You weren’t necessarily as close to them as you were to Lily, but you found them funny. Except when James was asking out Lily — you always found yourself in a sour mood, although you had no clue why. You had came to the conclusion that you were just possessive of her friendship, since you had never been to close to someone else who wasn’t your parents to this extent.

You listened to Lily complain about the Marauders a fair extent. Remus was occasionally included in the complaints as well, although he usually got away with more things than the others did. You hung around Snape as well, although he never seemed too keen to talk to you. He seemed to tolerate you best when you were with Lily as well, although you always joked that being around Lily seemed to bring out your best qualities.

“What does Evans see in Snivellus?” James moaned again, putting his head down onto his textbook before peeking up at you.

“They’ve been friends since before Hogwarts, you know. You can’t separate them that easily, it’d be like if Lily constantly told you that you shouldn’t be friends with Sirius because he’s a Black.” You shrugged.

You and James had this conversation quite a few times. Lily didn’t necessarily approve of your friendship with him, but it didn’t stop you. Especially when you knew that James was a softie behind his egotistic exterior. You tried telling Lily this, although James always seemed to embarrass himself with Lily was around.

“But the point is that Sirius isn’t like his family. Snape fits in with those Slytherins, stupid pureblooded maniacs.”

“Snape isn’t even a pureblood,” you commented, “plus, not all Slytherins are bad. This is why Lily doesn’t want to be friends with you, much less your girlfriend.” You ruffled James’ hair, feeling a bit sick at the thought of Lily being James’ girlfriend.

You didn’t even believe in cooties anymore, and romance was cute. You had no idea why the idea of James and Lily made you feel so… sad. Shaking the thought off, you stood up.

“I should get going, I told Lily that I’ll join her and Snape to study potions. I’ll catch you later, James.” You smiled at him, taking your books and swiftly leaving.

-

1973.

By the time you were in your third year of Hogwarts, the mood shifted. No one was oblivious to this, but some people pretended they weren’t aware. Life became more intense, more stressful — there was a war building outside of the school, and fights broke out more often.

You made sure to accompany Lily everywhere.

You knew that Lily knew what you were doing, and you knew that she was a little annoyed by it. After all, she was independent and a brilliant witch, and more than capable of taking care of herself. But you were scared anyway. Scared for yourself and scared for her and anyone who wasn’t pureblooded.

But you tried carrying on with life as normally as possible, despite the fact that you subscribed to The Daily Prophet and read it every morning as opposed to just hearing news from your parents. You even wrote to them more than normal, and they sent you care packages about once a month. You didn’t need it, but you appreciated stuff from home. It made you feel safer, and you always made sure to share anything you got with Lily. You even tried out for the Quidditch team, having missed out last year. You ended up being their seeker, and you took pride in how happy everyone was in you. Especially how happy Lily was. You knew she was fascinated with Quidditch, despite being terrible at flying.

You grew even closer to James after you got on the Quidditch team, but a part of you always felt sad when you were around him. You still had no clue why, and it only intensified whenever Lily was brought up or associated, and you tried steering clear from the topic as much as possible without seeming suspicious.

There was a part of you that was confused, though. James and Sirius started hanging out at the library, and you didn’t know why. There were no pranks that happened, but they could be seen reading and researching something throughout the year. Peter joined them, although it was normal to see him in the library as well. Sometimes Remus was around, but mostly he was working on his own schoolwork. Whenever he was with the Marauders while they were off researching, he always seemed a bit nervous and exasperated at the same time.

You wondered, but you knew you wouldn’t get an answer.

-

1974.

“Don’t you find it odd that James, Sirius, and Peter always look so tired the day after Remus is out sick or his mother is sick? It’s like when he’s away, they go wild.” You brought up to Lily one day.

Lily shrugged, “They’re always a bit weird, though? They keep so many secrets… I would’ve expected them to be blabbermouths, but they never share any of their secrets. Haven’t you noticed that whenever someone is in trouble they end up at the scene?”

“It is odd… I don’t think I’d ever be able to understand boys,” you joked. Lily rolled her eyes, a fond smile on her face.

The two of you sat in silence at the Great Hall, watching James, Sirius, and Peter’s sluggish movements. A bit later, Remus came to join them, looking just as tired as they did. You exchanged a look with Lily.

Once again, you found yourself hopefully lost in Lily’s eyes. They’re always so vibrant, and you hated when they dulled just the tiniest bit whenever something happened with her sister. You wished you could take all her pain away, to always be there to pick her up no matter what happens. It pained you to be in a state where you couldn’t do anything to help.

“Earth to (Y/N)?” Lily snapped her fingers in front of your face, causing you to blink. “You’re staring again. Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah,” you said, a familiar flush creeping up on your face. You had the littlest of ideas why you kept on staring at her, but you didn’t want to feel this. Not towards Lily, at least. Not towards your best friend, who you could easily lose by admitting these feelings.

Fourth year was the year you started getting suspicious of the Marauders, realized your tiny crush on Lily Evans, and came out to your parents through a letter.

-

1975.

Fifth year was the year you became best friends with Sirius Black.

You had no idea why Sirius had started avoiding the Marauders, nor why they were so aggressive towards him. The entire group was tense, and from what you’ve been told, you knew that Sirius did a terrible prank that was unforgivable. You knew that James was upset that you were hanging out with Sirius, but you had came to the realization that Sirius was rather… lonely, at least without the Marauders around.

There were always rumors circulating at Hogwarts, but as you talked to Sirius, you realized that it wasn’t as true as it seemed.

The two of you were currently out after curfew, hanging out in the astronomy tower. You were smoking a cigarette that he’d passed you, and you just stared up at the ceiling.

“You’re in love with Evans, aren’t you?” Sirius interrupted your silence.

You turned to face him, your eyebrows furrowing. You could feel a sick feeling starting to build in your stomach. No one knew this, even though you had came out to your parents as attracted to both boys and girls.

“Why do you say that?” You hesitantly asked.

“You’re always staring at her. You always perk up when she’s mentioned, not to mention you always get moody every time James talks about liking her. You glare at any people who try and ask her out on dates. Only an idiot wouldn’t know.” Sirius turned to face you.

“Merlin, is it that obvious?” You groaned, “Yeah, I figured out that I liked her last year. But I don’t even know if she likes girls like that. Not many people are accepting, you know? I don’t even know if you are.”

“It’d be ironic if I didn’t accept it. I’m in love with Remus.”

“You are?” You blinked, jaw dropping a bit. You didn’t know if anyone else in Hogwarts was like you, but here Sirius was. “Do you just like guys or…?”

“I don’t know yet. I think both, kissing girls is nice, but with Remus…”

“With him, it’s different.” You finished his sentence.

-

1976.

In sixth year, you hung around Lily a lot more. She was still struggling after what Snape had said to her, and you once again wished that you could take away her pain. She was suffering, and you didn’t know what to do to help her.

You had asked James for a passageway out to Hogsmeade, and you snuck her out despite her poor protests. The two of you drank butterbeer while you let her cry (for the final time, she swore) on your shoulder. Eventually, her tears faded out and all there was was anger. Anger for not realizing just how much Snape had changed, anger for being so dumb, and anger that Snape was becoming just the type of person who wanted her dead.

Sixth year was also the year where James and Lily started becoming friends. It didn’t happen immediately, and they still argued. Their differences continued being highlighted, but as James helped Lily loosen up, Lily was able to reign James in a considerable amount. At this point, you knew that it was inevitable that they were going to date. You felt jealous, but you still suffered in silence. Instead, you started spending more time with Sirius.

It was nice to see everyone in semi-good spirits, though. Especially when the air at Hogwarts started becoming increasingly tense. The Marauders had made up, and although Snape tried to grovel at Lily’s feet and beg for her friendship, things were as good as they could be.

Life went on.

Before the end of sixth year, Sirius pulled you aside.

“I have a question to ask you,” Sirius started. You raised an eyebrow, telling him to go on. “We’re both in love with people who… to put it frankly, won’t love us back. Do you want to go on a date? We deserve better than to pine for people who won’t feel the same.”

You were shocked at the question. You didn’t know what to say, because you’ve always been turning down dates. But you knew that Sirius had a point. “I… Yeah, let’s do it. Next Hogsmeade weekend?” You asked.

And so, you and Sirius started dating. Congratulations started pouring from everyone you knew, and you were sad to see Lily be so utterly happy for the two of you.

-

1977.

Your seventh year at Hogwarts was a weird combination of things. For one thing, you didn’t really expect James to become head boy, but you weren’t surprised that before the new year started that he and Lily started going out.

Your heart still hurt every time you saw the two of them together. They were happy in their own world, light pecks all the time, and you missed Lily a lot more now that she didn’t even sleep in the girls dormitory. You cursed whoever made the heads their own quarters instead of them sleeping with the rest of the year.

You were still dating Sirius too, despite the fact that both of you were still pining over people who wouldn’t love you back. You guys were as happy as you could be, given your position. Whenever the other felt too sad, there would be ice cream and cuddles. You guys kissed, but you knew that there was a low chance that it’d ever get further than that. Both of you knew that this relationship was just a distraction from your true feelings.

At the first quidditch match of the year, right after you had caught the snitch, someone had cursed your broom and you fell right out of the sky. You were in the hospital wing for three days, with a terrible concussion and too many of your bones broken, but you lived. You never found out who cursed your broom, but everyone was on their toes for the next few days. You knew that Sirius and James blamed the Slytherins, and a part of you agreed. After all, there were some Slytherins who made it obvious that they supported Voldemort.

This was also the year where you and Lily were filled in on Remus’ condition. Lily confessed that she already knew that Remus was a werewolf, although never knew why the other boys were always so tired. After reassuring Remus that neither of you were going to stop being friends with him, you begged Sirius to turn into his dog form for cuddles.

Things were as good as they could be.

-

1978.

You broke up with Sirius before the school year ended. The two of you knew it was coming, and it was always a question of who would ask first. The Marauders seemed upset with you at first for “breaking Sirius’ heart”, although Sirius constantly reprimanded them for it. You were still good friends, and you both were more physical with each other than regular friends, but it was nice.

The day you graduated, you cried. A lot of people did, so you weren’t alone, but you knew that this would be the last time you’d be in Hogwarts as a student. You probably would go see Dumbledore a few times in Hogwarts, especially after being recruited for the Order of the Phoenix like your other friends were.

That summer, in the mail, you received invitations to Lily and James’ wedding. You already knew that they were getting married, but this just solidified the fact. Sirius came over that day, and you cried, not that you’d ever admit that to anyone else other than him.

You attended the wedding with Sirius as your +1, although he was invited too. You knew all of your friends were a bit confused about where you and Sirius stood, but you never really gave them an explanation.

Before the end of the year, Remus was sent out to talk to other werewolves to try and recruit them for the war. This time, you went over to Sirius’ place to try and relieve some of the anxiety he felt. You were anxious too — even though you weren’t as close to Remus as you were to Sirius, you knew it was a risk. Everything all your friends did was a risk, and you were constantly worried for them.

-

1979.

Your arm burnt with the Dark Mark.

You were sent to infiltrate the Death Eaters by Dumbledore. The only person who knew of your mission was Sirius, and you feared the day that you’d end up having to fight against your friends as a supposed Death Eater.

You weren’t a hateful person, but every time you insulted muggleborns or said anything even related to pureblood supremacy, you wanted nothing but to hate Dumbledore. You were resilient, and a good witch, and your acting skills were top notch after hiding your feelings for Lily for so long.

Your life was constantly at risk, and you wrote letters to all of your friends explaining everything in case you died. You were building up rank in the group, and eventually, you would be one of Voldemort’s most trusted members. You filled him with lies about who was fighting against him, never actually giving up anyone who was in the Order. You had learnt occlumency so you weren’t as vulnerable.

You barely saw any of your friends that year. You had moved houses when you were assigned to the job. Sirius informed you that he suspected that there was a spy in the Order, and you told him you’d keep an eye out in case there was someone in the Death Eater meetings that you recognized.

“I think… it may be Remus.” He admitted sadly that same day.

“Remus? Our Remus? He’s loyal beyond everything.” You protested. “We already know what mission he’s doing, and I would suspect Remus the least out of almost everyone.”

“But isn’t that the point? He’s been alone his whole life, hating himself for being a werewolf. Suddenly, he’s with other werewolves, and he feels like he belongs. We never see him, and all Dumbledore and Moody say is that they’ve been in touch.” Sirius shoved his face in his hands, sighing. “This war is a bloody mess.”

You shook your head, “I don’t think Remus is the type to submit to his urges so easily. You’ve met the man, Sirius.” You leaned your head against Sirius’ shoulder. “I haven’t seen you in two months, Sirius. Between Remus and I, I’d be more suspicious. I bet some of the other members already are. All they know is that I’m on an important mission and I can’t see anyone. Suspecting each other will just bring our downfall.”

Sirius grew quiet. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). Some people do suspect you, but to be fair, you haven’t been to an official Order meeting in months. I haven’t even seen you for the longest time. Only Moody, Dumbledore, and I know what you’re doing. I wish I could tell them so that they don’t think that way anymore, but I can’t.”

“I hate this so much. Merlin, I need a drink.”

-

1980.

Between pretending to be a Death Eater, working for the Order and gathering intel, and then finding out about the prophecy and how Lily and James were expecting a child, you were running yourself thin. You were utterly exhausted at this point, and all you wanted was a break. Somewhere where this war didn’t exist.

You still hated yourself for loving Lily to this extent. Hated that you still couldn’t let her go, and hated that she probably thought you were leaking information to the Death Eaters.

A part of you wished that you told Lily of your feelings for her while you were still in Hogwarts. Before everything in the world became reality for all of you. You felt stupid for thinking this way, but you ultimately wished things were just different.

War really was draining.

-

October 31st, 1981.

The morning of October 31st, 1981, you were called to a Death Eater meeting. There, Voldemort and a few of his trusted members were waiting for your arrival. There, you saw a man you hadn’t seen in almost a year.

Peter Pettigrew.

Did you two get sent on the same mission by the Order? You masked your expression of confusion, looking at him and the fear evident in his face. You wondered why they would send Peter, of all people. You adored Peter, he was like a little brother to you, although you knew how easily he scared when he was on his own.

“Good morning,” Voldemort started speaking, “For the past year, (Y/L/N) has been telling us insider information about the people fighting against us.” You forced a smile on your face, ignoring Peter’s heavy stare. All the information was fake and staged, although Peter couldn’t possibly know that unless he was informed you were on this mission and you weren’t.

“But, a week ago, Pettigrew was able to tell us the location of the Potters.” Your eyes widened just a tiny bit, “They had tried using a Fidelius charm so that only a trusted person would know where they were, and I’ve been planning on taking down their child in this time. As you all know, the boy who was born in July is the one who is supposedly going to destroy me. I cannot allow that to happen, and Pettigrew supplied me with the information I need while the baby is at its most vulnerable.”

You willed yourself not to react until the meeting was over. The moment you were allowed to go, you left as quickly as possible, avoiding Peter. Casting a patronus charm, you sent out a message to Lily.

“Lily, I was on a mission to infiltrate the Death Eaters and Pet…”

Before you could finish your sentence, you were out.

That night, in Godric’s Hollow, a motorcycle revs as it leaves the vicinity. In the background, the music plays, a sad tune, full of wistful piano and haunting violin. There is nobody left to hear it.

[vangoddamn]

Road trip

Van + y/n + car = road-trip

Warnings: none

You’d started the road-trip in your shared home in Leeds planning on going as south as possible to St Ive's bay. You had been there as a kid and wanted to share the place with Van, both deciding as it was a six-hour journey you’d spread it out.

 You’d gone through Chester, obviously visiting the zoo, where you’d make fun of Van when he got scared of the wild birds that flew around freely. “Babe, no they’re gonna attack me!” He screamed at you making you belly laugh in hysterics. 

“Awww, is my boy scared of the birds?” you cooed walking up to him as he wrapped an arm around your waist. You tiptoed to look up at him at eye level before booping him on the nose with your ice cream. “Come on, I wanna see the elephants,” You said, placing a kiss to his cheek and taking his hand leading him towards your favourite animals.

You took hundreds of pictures of him next to enclosures, enjoying it when the giraffe tried to eat his hair. You saved these for your next stop, Llandudno, where you’d show Mary whilst Van cringed into the crook of your neck, holding you tightly from behind. You always enjoyed visiting Vans home town, seeing all the places he grew up and chatting to his parents about the stupid things he did back then. It made you feel slightly weird though, to think that at some point you had lived separate lives. 

You carried on your journey, stopping in on little old English towns, taking Polaroids of Van doing stupid things in front of landmarks. He was sweet and made the trip even better than it already was. Taking in turns to drive, blasting out new and old tunes, in the evening letting you sleep until we found a hotel which would take you without booking. You could say it spontaneous or unorganised, but we didn’t plan each day, only with the end goal of that childhood beach.

Every hotel you chose was beautiful, some of them fancy and posh but most were homely and quaint. The kind of thing you’d see on the cover of country home magazine, big stone cottages with ivy growing up the walls. The smell of fresh flowers in every room and soft crisp linens. The people you had met were sweet and kind, offering you to come and stay another time always commenting on how” Your such a lovely couple” and pointing out the Van looked at you with “lovesick eyes”.

The last stop before Cornwall was Exeter. It was a beautiful city, full of history and building’s that looked like they all held their own story. You tried to stay there as long as possible, meandering through the streets finding little book shops and cafes where you could spend all day in. The streets were cobbled and there were fountains in the middle of wide alleyways in which independent shops lined. It was the sort of place you felt as though you fitted in, withyour summer dress on in the heatwave and woven sandals. Soon though it was late afternoon and you wanted to get to St Ive's today. 

Van smiled at you in the car as you stared out the window, knowing how much you were enjoying your little adventure. “You're so cute,” He drew you out of your daydream. 

“I didn’t do anything,” You giggled, confused at his little comment, feeling your cheeks tinged red.

“just are, aren’t ya,” he glanced at you, trying to keep his eyes on the road but failing.

“You're so dumb,” you commented back at him, smiling to yourself, turning up the music and returning your gaze out of the window. It was a day of blue skies and you were sad to swap your city ambling for the car, even if it was with the beautiful boy sat next to you.

The sun was starting to set in the sea, golden hour and everything seemed hazy. The light streamed through the car window and filtered orangey tones through Van's hair and brought out the features of his face. It made you smile, leaning into the window on your side watching your boyfriend drive in this perfect picture.

He noticed your staring, moving his left hand to rest on your thigh, rubbing it gently. His touch was cool, unlike the warm atmosphere which surrounded you both from the sweltering day. It was still hot outside due to the unusual British heatwave and it had created the most picturesque evening. Every night on your road trip had been beautiful but now that you were nearing your destination, it felt that little bit more special.

You'd planned on catching the sea before it got dark, excited to get in the water and swim around with Van. The scenery had changed half an hour ago, from the motorway to countryside back roads. The sea was visible and as you got closer you could smell the salt in the air, filling your senses and taking you back to your childhood. Van turned into a little cove, parking the car, looking in your direction with a cheerful smile on his face.

You practically dragged him out of the car, grabbing the bag which was ready to go in the boot. Van took your hand, letting you walk him down the small path, following the signs towards the beach. The path was small and it weaved steeply down through the shrubbery and vegetation to your beloved cove. The sun was still high enough for the light to be a warm glow surrounding the two of you. 

“Look how pretty it is,” you sighed, turning to look at Van, who was looking at you with adoration adorned in is eyes. He looked tired from the driving and you smiled when he pulled you into his arms.

“Nearly as pretty as you love.” He whispered in your hair, slowly moving to tilt your face up to look at his. 

you giggled at his comment, leaning up to kiss him before running off towards the sea laughing away, carelessly discarding your clothes on the empty beaches soft golden sand. He ran after you, him to undressing on his way over to you, ending up falling over after his skinny jeans wouldn’t come off. Van wasn’t what some may say ‘smooth’ in your words more ‘goofy’. as he rolled around half-naked in the sand calling for your help. You, of course, denied him of that privilege, running away into the ocean.

It splashed into your body, toes wriggling in the sand as the water got deeper and you adjusted to the temperature. It was quite cold now but the air was hot, the contrast meeting each other to calm both down. You hadn't noticed, more interested in the water, that Van had caught up and was now behind you. He wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head in your neck. Kissing soft lines along the collar bone, sending shivers through your body.

"you cold?" He asked you, making you smile because he didn't know that it was him making you shiver, him alone.

"no, I'm perfect!" You replied holding the hands which had met yours on your belly.

"hmm you are," he mumbled into your skin, quiet for a second before lifting you up, laughing whilst tickling and teasing you. He tossed you around in the water, shocking you half laughing.

"Vaan!" You screamed at him, trying to break free, prying his fingers off your waist.

"fine then!" He huffed, you realised what he was going to do before it was too late and he let go of your body, dropping you into the water. It was colder when your whole body was in and you were furious at him, jumping on his back, trying to drag him under, but obviously, he was twice as heavy as you meaning you did nothing other than making him laugh at you. 

“You're so mean to me!” You whined in his ear trying to drag him down, although now you were just wrapped around his back tightly.

"I could never" he huffed, staring into the sun which was now nearly gone, reflecting orange into the sea. 

"Thanks for bringing me back here Van," You thanked him, placing a kiss to his neck.

"Thanks for letting me," He whispered back smiling up at you. And in truth, you probably wouldn't want to share this place with anyone else other than Van.

A/n: So.. this is adorable hope you enjoyed cause, I actually want a roadtrip with Van now?! So I’ve had a couple of you lovely people send requests in and I just wanna say thanks so much! It just warms my heart up when you guys send me your thoughts and dreams I just wanna write them all down for ya! So once again Thanks my lovelies xx Em

[verreprincesse]

My Bio for the Descendant AU, eventually I’ll have it up on my blog but for now it’s gonna be on this post. I wrote soooo much and ugggggh if anything sounds off pls let me know....

cenerentola – città di vetro city of glass cinderellasburg city – farfalla paradisoville butterfly paradise villas rocky point court – corte rocciosa

charming castle – charmant château

cinderellasburg – verrelac

Charming – Leo ( lion ) Thibault

Charming Father – Andre ( manly; brave ) Thibault ( courageous people )

Charming Mother – Noemi ( beautiful, gentle ), Rainelda ( independent, self-reliant, and determined

Cinderella Father — Éduoard

Cinderella Mother — Astrid

Long before Auradon brought the kingdoms together, Verrelac was two kingdoms. One ruled by Prince Charming’s father’s family at the Charmant Château and the other ruled by his mother’s family at Corte Rocciosa. Not due to war did the two stay separate but due to a magical forest that cut them off. Stories of wild beasts and monsters kept them from travelling too deep into the forest, but his mother’s people were dying. Their soil no longer produced healthy food for them to eat and the animals they hunted had learned to stay away from the edge of the forest. In an effort to save her people CM and a small retinue of people braved the forest and pushed to CF home. She pleaded on her people’s behalf, promised a good alliance between her court and his. Her people were known for their glassmaking, down to how they could mimic rare stone without the need to mine for them or pay such high prices, in return for food.

They agreed and the two kingdoms paved a safe road from each place for travel, which also was used by the prince and princess just as often for they found each other in good company. He admired her passion for her people and her kind heart, and she loved his fair ideas and quick wit. He also loved she couldn’t dance. Every time she would end up trampling on his feet. She could make a graceful sculpture out of blazing glass but as her to be graceful on the dance floor and it was pure disaster. Over time the two fell deeper in love and convinced their parents it would be beneficial to their kingdoms if they were to marry and become one kingdom. They agreed and both kingdoms celebrated for a week. A tradition they continued to even this day. A holiday called Festival of Miracles celebrated every year with feasts and festivals. A time to remember the good that came of their union. A year later, Noemi gave birth during the festival, as did another woman.

Astrid, the wife of a very wealthy merchant had gone into labor early, two months early, with her daughter. It was a fight for both mother and child. Three days it took to bring Eleanor into the world, and she was as perfect as could be. Their little miracle. In more than one way too. Eleanor was the eldest of many sisters and was meant to marry rich but one of the times she had gone off by herself, often to just have a clear mind, she had ended up at Glass Lake. A strange phenomenon where the lake was both a solid and a liquid. If met with force, the lake defended itself by becoming solid and protecting the life within it. It was said fairies were born by the lake with its magical properties. Another story is that a queen once was able to trick the lake into giving up a piece of itself to be made into a large mirror.

No matter the stories, Astrid enjoyed the quiet solitude she gained from visiting. It was during one of those times she met Éduoard when he and his father took the newly paved road to take their wares. His father had people who could do the tedious work, but he wanted to teach Éduoard an honest living and to do that, he took his son with him. Astrid’s horse had become spooked and dashed out, nearly toppled Éduoard and his father’s cart over. No mater what she did, her horse wouldn’t rein in and her only choice was to jump. When she did, she and her horse were already by the lake and Astrid braced for the lake to harden, for the pain that would come but instead she plunged into its depths.

Éduoard and his father rushed after her, his father for the horse and Éduoard for Astrid. He was able to pull her out, despite his fear of water, and get them both safely to the bank. From then on, the two would see each other often at the lake. She had fallen for him, though she was often told it was only because he saved her. She didn’t care. The two married shortly after though their happiness didn’t last for very long.

After Eleanor was born, Astrid was very weak and grew sick with childbed fever. A week later she was gone and Éduoard was left to raise their little girl. He and his father grew their business until they were a large name in the kingdom in trade, even becoming one of the richest tradesmen. Eleanor, often called Ella, wanted for nothing. She was raised kind, and gentle, her father always keeping her mother’s memory alive. When she turned six, he remarried, and she gained a mother and two sisters. She had always wanted a sibling to get into mischief with but her new sisters were snobbish and often teased her and left her out of their merriment.

Even as she tried to make the best of it, more death struck her home when her father fell gravely ill and passed when Ella was only nine. It was then her stepmother showed her true colors. A black widow is what Ella often heard others say. Some even whispered that her stepsisters Anastasia and Drizella were fathered by two different men Lady Tremaine had killed for money. It could be true with how different the two looked. Anastasia was kinder to Ella, often bringing Ella extra blankets in the winter or giving her her old gowns. It was Drizella and her stepmother who were cruel, treating Ella like a slave and taking away her comfortable life.

The one thing she looked forward to, however, every year was the Week of Miracles. Even her stepmother couldn’t forbid her from attending, despite her trying every time, and when she was nineteen she had made herself a gown, thanks to Anastasia giving her some old fabric, and would have attended had her stepmother not ordered her daughters to ruin the gown.

Bereft, Ella was sure she’d never get to attend and ran to the forest to the lake where her parents first met. She felt close to her parents there every time she visited. She cried for her losses and for her triumphs and to just tell her parents of her life. She was kind to the wildlife there and if something magical happened, she never questioned it, nor took it for granted. It was there her fairy godmother appeared, helped her to attend the festivities every day of that week, no matter how many times her stepfamily would sabotage it. Everyday in a gown more beautiful than the first.

It was at the festival she fell in love. She didn’t believe she could be given more but when she met Henri her world flipped. He was handsome but she learned he was more than just a face. He cared for his people, he worried about their struggles and he wanted to make things better like his parents had. Every day she met with him and fell deeper in love with him but knew her stepmother would never allow her to rise above her daughters and so she always made sure to leave without him seeing so she’d not be followed home. On the last day, however, he laid tar on the steps of the palace where her shoe caught. Either she stayed where she was and be found out or she would have to run barefoot home. The fear of her stepmother finding out had her running instead. She never expected that he would search her out though.

He spent days taking the slipper to all the eligible maidens and no matter what happened either the slipper was too small or too big, none fit the slipper. When he arrived to Ella’s house she was in the garden in the back finding food for dinner while her sisters tried on the slipper. To no avail, they couldn’t fit. Just as they were leaving, Henri saw Ella come out of the backyard and insisted she try the slipper even though her stepmother stood in the doorway, threatening her life if she so tried. Promising her safety, he encouraged her and easily, the slipper fit as if it had been made only for her. True to his word he kept her safe from her stepmother and they were wed, on a condition he helped her stepsisters find good marriages. She still wanted them to live well.

For some years they lived well, and she was able to form somewhat of a relationship with Drizella, her relationship with Anastasia blossomed especially after she fell for a baker. It was short-lived however, as many things in her life seemed to be as when Belle and Adam formed Auradon and sent the villains away, he sent her sisters and stepmother as well despite how many times Ella tried to say her sisters had changed. They were villains though; they had tormented her, and it meant they could no longer share in Auradon’s wealth. Drizella was pregnant when she was sent away, meaning Ella would never get to meet her niece or nephew when they were born.

Ella often stayed away from Auradon if she can as she was quite upset with Belle and Adam for what they did, not seeing that her sisters had changed, until her own son was born. She knew it meant she would have to send him to Auradon Prep when he came of age and she would have to attend the many invitations. Otherwise she stayed in her kingdom and helps her husband rule fairly and justly.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Riding carriages around the camp

For arts and crafts week we've been building carriages and testing them out. Edie, Jamila, Easton, and Anissa have come to visit the camp and help us build these fun rides. So not only we get to build a bunch of cool stuff, we also have a new appreciation for the beautiful scenery - an unexpected but super sweet bonus!

It's so good to see Edie and the others again after so long. The trip is kinda a big deal for Anissa as it's not easy for her to travel. Edie and Jamila reached out to me a few months ago to plan this outing, leaving things as open as possible in case something happens with Anissa.

The building carriages event was something separate that was kinda a spontaneous thing that happened to line up perfectly with the visit. Jamila and Edie love working on big projects together while Easton and Anissa help out so they were excited when I told them about arts and crafts week. Also, riding the carriages was a good way to get around the camp as well as explore outside the usual hangout spots.

I was (still am) surprised when Jamila messaged me and wanted to take Anissa out here. Out of all the places she could have gone, Anissa instead chose the camp. She had once told Jamila that she'd wanted to visit the camp someday and that they probably would've done it by now if it wasn't for her. That conversation stuck with Jamila for a long time and when things took a turn for Anissa, Jamila, Edie, and Easton wanted to make the most out of the time they have left with her.

Edie has been friends with Anissa and Jamila since they for as long as they can remember. During the summer the twins would join the Sperry family on their yearly trip to Edie's grandma's farm, which holds many of their favorite childhood memories. During the school year Edie was a frequent guest at the Amine household and the three would play together for hours, letting their imagination run wild. There, Edie was allowed to be carefree and not have to deal with constant criticism from her father.

As Edie got older, she became part of the Amine family. She and Anissa were often in the same class so they stuck together a lot. Jamila didn't mind being the third wheel as she was happy to be doing her own thing at home while the other two often went out and about. Even though it didn't look like it to the grown ups, Jamila never felt like she was left behind.

Then Easton came along and he too became an honorary member of the Amine family. The girls were ten when he was born, the youngest and only son in the Sperry family. Easton was born missing half his left leg so he wears a prosthetic and other than his father, everyone else treats him like normal. Out of all the siblings, he's the closest to Edie, always tagging along with her.

For a while every day was pretty much the same. Edie, Anissa, and Jamila would walk home from school, sometimes stopping by the Sperry house to bring Easton along if Edie's mom had her hands full. The three would do their homework while the twins's mom watched over Easton. Then Edie and Anissa would usually be playing on the tire swing while Jamila knitted on the porch and played with Easton. Sometimes Edie would bring her banjo along and played some songs while the twins sang along, a highlight during summer nights at the farm.

Their favorite thing to do together was playing pretend in the attic because everyone had something to do, even Easton. The girls would often pretend to be accomplished women with successful lives full of adventure. Anissa was the one with the most creative imagination, often making up funny stories that would leave the others rolling on the floor with laughter. She was great at improvising with Easton, who was happy to join in on the fun.

When the girls were twelve, Anissa's life changed forever. The girls were playing pretend as usual when Anissa complained about a headache that quickly grew worse. She was rushed to the hospital and in Jamila's words, that was the last time she and Edie saw the old Anissa. A blood vessel had burst in Anissa's brain, resulting in a stroke that left Anissa comatose for several days.

While the damage from the stroke was not as extensive as initially feared, Anissa was no longer the same. Edie and Jamila were determined to bring back the old Anissa, only to be disappointed when they got their hopes up too high. Anissa was still set on marching to the beat of her own drum, trying to prove her independence whenever she could, which further convinced Jamila and Edie that she was going to make a full recovery. It took a long time for the girls to accept that things would never go back to normal.

The whole ordeal made Edie and Jamila closer than ever. Edie would help the family care for Anissa and in turn lift Anissa's spirits up. When Anissa got stronger, Edie would bring Easton along and he too provided some much needed sunshine during a difficult time.  Edie's mom and sisters helped out a lot as well, making sure that the Amines were doing all right.

Edie, Jamila, and Anissa have always been a tight knit group. Although Anissa was made strides in her recovery, the effects of the stroke still linger. Jamila and Edie became Anissa's caretakers when the three moved in together, living about twenty minutes away from their old neighborhood. Both families agreed that it was good to give Anissa some degree of independence as by then she could take care of herself for most part and didn't need constant supervision.

In recent years, various complications arose, which was expected but that didn't make it any easier. Anissa was well known at the hospital as she was a miracle. She beat the odds not only by surviving but also by living. What happened to her was rare - her doctor told that in the hospital's two hundred year history, only three other kids suffered from the same condition. One died on the way to the hospital, another slipped into a coma and never woke up, and one lived for two years before suffering from another stroke. No matter what happens, at least one thing's certain - Anissa always marches to the beat of her own drum.

Anissa for the most part managed to live a somewhat independent life. She got her GED, was able to relearn various skills like playing the piano, reading, and cooking, - all which she documented on her blog: Searching for Anissa.

When I started making plans with Jamila and Edie, I later found myself re-reading Searching for Anissa. Reading the stories of the girls, from the recollections of simpler days in the farm to the struggles of everyday life - it's such a fascinating read. The blog's more like a memoir that's a work in progress with Anissa writing her thoughts out and Jamila and Edie contributing by filling in some of the gaps and sharing their own memories.

The blog hasn't been updating regularly for a couple years because life's been getting in the way. But this year Anissa's hoping to post something at least once a week as she wants to keep writing while she still can. In the past year she's had two mini strokes so her hands don't work as well anymore, making it difficult for her to do a lot of things. While she's sad that she can't type anymore, Anissa found it therapeutic to say her thoughts out loud as it helped her accept what lies ahead for her. In turn, her blog posts have been a lot more free flowing as she contemplates her uncertain future.

For now everyone's doing their best to make sure Anissa's comfortable. She's been doing well physically so that's good. Good thing we have carriages so Anissa can explore the camp and enjoy the scenery. Also, Jamila, Edie, and Easton had a lot of fun building the carriage as well as taking it out for a spin at Breezy Hollow.

At times it seemed like the camp was being taken over by carriages. We even managed to make a train by attaching a bunch of carriages together, which was a really fun way to travel! First, we visited the meadow where Jamila knitted a blanket and Edie took out her banjo. Since the weather was a bit chilly I wasn't sure how long we were gonna stay there but thanks to Jamila's blanket, we ended up hanging around for a while.

Then we went down the trail by the mountains, which went surprisingly smoothly as the carriages went by with little difficulty. At the forest we split up into two groups with Daisy Jane, Edie, and Easton going for a short hike in the mountains while I stayed with the twins. Anissa admired the scenery, taking in the sights, sounds, and textures around her while Jamila began knitting another blanket, creating intricate patterns with ease.

Something about the way Jamila knits makes me want to grab some yarn and needles and join her - which is why Edie and Easton have picked up the hobby too. I think it's because she makes it look so inviting, like a fun bonding activity if you want to spend some quality one on one time with someone. The way she knits - on one hand it's like she's a machine because of how much she's able to do in a short time, but on the other hand she totally gives off the vibe of someone who shows appreciation through thoughtful, handmade gifts that she puts her heart and soul into.

After that we passed through Shovelstrike Quarry, OK Motors, and Lost Lure Creek. At Saltwater Shores we hung out at the beach and set up a barbecue. It was too cold to go swimming but we sorta went boating with a carriage built by Whitney and Rolf that can travel on water. The barbecue was a good way to keep warm as it got pretty cold around midday.

Daisy Jane and I cuddled up in our new blankets that Jamila surprised us with. I swear, her hands are like magic when it comes to knitting! While she started another knitting project, Anissa and Easton took a walk down the beach and Edie played her banjo. Later the others joined us by the fire pit for a fun singalong and impromptu concert.

We were planning to head back to the main camp when Anissa said she was feeling up to seeing more of the camp. Since the day was still young and the weather was warming up a bit, we decided to head to Sunburst Island. Anissa got to sit back and enjoy the sunshine while the rest of us harvested coconuts and went bug catching.

Around evening we headed back to the camp, where the campers set up a bonfire to warm things up. Whitney, Goldie, and Rolf went foraging in the forest while testing out their carriages so they found a lot of tea leaves that were perfect for a chilly night like this. After a busy day of riding carriages around the camp, it was nice to cozy up in front of the fire with a warm cup of tea.

Tomorrow will be more of the same - testing out more carriages and exploring different parts of the camp. Thankfully the weather's gonna be much warmer so that gives us even more of an excuse to go sightseeing!

[sleepywinchester]

Behind The Story S2 | Pt. 28

Summary: It’s time for JJ to start school but Y/N is not 100% on board. 

Author: sleepywinchester (prev. deanwinchester-af)

Characters: Jensen, Reader, Jared, Gen and Cast Cameos.

Pairings: Single!Jensen x Actress!Reader (Nina Dobrev = Faceclaim)

Words: 2.1k

Beta: N/A

Warnings: none really :)

Visual:  @clarissafairchild

Disclaimer: NO HATE TOWARDS DANNEEL!

We wuv her in this acc but this is just for science lol

Author’s Note: Y/N was definitely not ready to leave JJ at school!!! GUYS 2 CHAPTERS AWAY FROM THE FINAL CHAPTER EVER! How you guys feeling with all these chapters? Send me messages on my ask box!!! I wanna know all the feelings. As always;  hope you guys like this one ♥

>>> side note: these are the last chapters ever i am not adding anyone to the tag list.

Title: First Day’s 

MASTERLIST

“We’re late, we’re late, we’re late,” you repeated in whispers as the line of cars didn’t cease. 

It was a rush-hour morning in beautiful Austin Texas. The sky was blue and with no sign of clouds. The cars in front and behind you honked for the line to cut short. Everyone seemed to be in a hurry to get to their destinations but not you. The location your GPS was directing you wasn’t one you were excited about. Yes, you were late but it was not affecting you as much as it honestly should. 

At the sound of babbling, your eyes went to the rear mirror. They met with JJ’s soft pigtails and her bouncing head at the rhythm of Ariana’s latest hit. 

An incoming call took your eyes away from your daughter and back to the dash. 

“Good morning, babe,” you spoke the second you touched the green icon on your screen. 

You weren’t seeing his face but you imagined the wrinkles of his eyes showing as he smiled. 

“Mornin’ babe,” Jensen said. “How’s it going?”

You let a deep sigh as you hold the steer with both of your hands. 

“Traffic is…,” you stopped yourself from cursing out loud, “bad. I feel like I am in L.A. of how bad this traffic is.  And I honestly do not want to leave her there… It’s too early.” 

“Babe, we talked about this,” Jensen said.

You rolled your eyes, “I know we’ve talked about this but- Jensen… The main reason I literally quit my job was to stay home and take care of JJ.”

“I know but it’s been a year,” Jensen said.

“Has it?” You looked at the screen with doubt.

It hasn’t felt like a year since you retired and weren’t shooting for a TV show. 

“Babe, JJ needs to meet some friends,” your husband reply sounded logical but at that moment you were letting your heart rule over your head. 

“She has Tom and Shep… and soon she’ll have another friend,” you said.

Jensen chuckled softly at the other end of the line. “I know you’re having trouble separating from her after all these months but she needs to learn how to communicate more and learn the colors and letters and just start a normal school journey.” 

You sighed harshly again, slowly giving in to his logical thoughts. 

“What if I homeschool her?” Jensen did not speak a word to your suggestion and you quickly interpret the silence on the line. “Am I being a crazy mom right now?”

“You’re not being crazy…,” Jensen said softly, “I mean, you’re being a little crazy BUT you’re just being a mom. It’s going to be okay, Y/N. I wish I could be there to experience her first day… I love you.” 

A smile formed on your lips, you were having trouble separating from your daughter but Jensen was struggling with the guilt of not being a part of it. 

“JJ, say hi to daddy!” You looked at her. 

She instantly smiled, “Love you, daddy!” 

“Love you too, little bird! Have fun at school!” 

You couldn’t see his face but you knew there was a big bright smile on his face. 

“Love you, babe,” you said, “I will facetime you when we’re there.”

“Alright, we’re on a break from filming so it should be good,” Jensen said. “See ya’.”

You continued to drive towards JJ’s new school. Thanks to your talk with Jensen your nerves had calmed down into the level of not being scared. 

/ / 

You carried JJ as you walked into the school. Her eyes instantly began to wander around the colorful walls. A smile formed on your lips noticing how her eyes sparkled with excitement. 

There were parents all around the halls of the colorful school. You were grateful that you remembered the direction to JJ’s Pre-Head Start classroom from your latest visit to the school, if that weren’t the case, you would have been lost like a first-year student. 

As you walked towards JJ’s classroom, you grabbed your cellphone from your pocket and called Jensen in Facetime. Who picked up the call in a matter of seconds.

“You’re there?” Jensen asked, looking down at the screen. 

“Yep,” you said, realizing you were in front of the classroom. 

“You’re ready little bird?” you asked your daughter.

JJ smiled big, showing her pearls and curiously looking into the colorful classroom. You looked down at the phone and found Jared and Misha had joined the Facetime call. A giggle escaped your insides and you put JJ down on her feet. 

“Now you be good today and have lots of fun,” you said as you fixed her beige skirt and a pink shirt. “Okay, baby girl?”

She nodded with a smile, glancing down at the phone. 

“Hi, Uncle Jared! Hi Uncle Misha!” She greeted them with excitement. “I’m going to school!”

They chuckled and smiled for JJ, “Yes sweetheart! You go have fun!” 

“Baby, have fun and meet a lot of new friends!” Jensen added, “Love you.”

JJ blew her dad a kiss before giving you a kiss on the cheek and then continued to run into the room. Standing up straight you met with the Valery the teacher and smiled. Chatting about today being JJ’s first day at school. 

“Well, I will be back at 3 PM. See you, JJ!” You told her and she waved before going back to play with two new classmates.

“Did she stay okay?” Jensen asked. You nodded, feeling the tears building up in your eyes. “Aw, babe! Don’t cry! Don’t be sad.”

You wiped off the tears, “I am not sad, I am happy - She is just so happy and already making friends. We - we don’t have a baby anymore.”

“She will always be our baby,” he said. 

Once in the car, you took a moment to take deep breaths and get yourself together. 

“Babe, I have to go back to shooting. Are you going to be okay?” Jensen asked.

You gave him a small smile, “Yeah. I’m meeting with Gen for lunch and shopping for the new baby. I’ll text you later.” 

He blew a kiss and winked before ending the call. At that moment all the tears began to run wild, you didn’t know why you were crying so much but you couldn’t hold it back. You were happy for your kid, she was happy and ready to learn new things and start her education but at the same time, it was sad for you to let her go. 

/ / /

It didn’t take you long to arrive at a nice Mexican restaurant in Downtown Austin. Gen was waiting for you by a table with guacamole and chips ready. 

“I am so sorry for being so fucking late,” you said hugging your best friend. 

Gen giggled, “It's no worries. I got here in like 20 minutes.”

You pouted as you sat down and looked at the guac, “That looks so good.”

“It is, that’s my second order,” Gen said with a big unapologetic smile. 

With a giggle, you grabbed a chip and dipped in the guac. “This is amazing!!!” 

“Told you,” she said caressing her pronounced belly. 

You looked down at her seven months old belly. “You’re glowing.”

She smiled, “Thanks. You were right though, I thought having a girl would be a piece of cake after having two boys but girls are a handful in the belly.”

“They just don’t stay in a place,” you said. “JJ would move around my belly 24/7.”

“My girl too! Sometimes I can’t even sleep but… it’s worth it.” Gen said. 

“It is,” you agreed.

You two continued to order and chatting as you munched on the chips and guac. 

“You look like you've been crying,” Gen commented having a sip of her water.

“I was crying, leaving JJ at school left me so emotional,” you told her, feeling a bit of tears trying to push through. “How did you do it with Thomas and Shep?”

Gen chewed and shrugged with a small smirk, “I honestly cried my guts out too. They were so independent and ready to go and I just wasn’t but they were and I think that’s what is important. It's good for them to be ready for life and for new experiences, we just have to be here for when they need us.”

“You should write a book,” you said in awe. “It’s true… even if I am not ready, she is and that means we have done something right.”

“You have,” Gen said, “you and Jensen are the most amazing parents I’ve met and you will continue to be. Yeah,” she shrugged, “it's not always going to go the way you plan but at least it is going somewhere.”

You took a moment to take the words of your best friend. She was right, you needed to go with the flow and let your baby begin her own adventures, these ones starting with school.

“Do you want more?” Gen’s words brought you back from your thoughts.

You looked at her, with confusion in your eyes. “More what?”

“Kids,” she said, having a small sip of her juice. 

Instantly you smiled, “Of course but I’m not planning it.” 

Gen tilted her head and shrugged continuing to eat her meal. You also continued to eat yours. In between you two talked about her future plans for her blog and about future events that will be happening. 

The rest of the evening you guys went baby clothes shopping for the future baby. Everything was so cute and it slightly gave you baby fever. You were excited for the new baby but the thought of having another kid hasn’t crossed your mind but you wondered how Jensen felt about it. 

After the mall you picked JJ up in school and spent a couple more hours with Gen and her boys in the Padalecki household. Your daughter was very happy to spend more time with Tom and Shep. As you and Gen fixed dinner for them, they would play around the house.

“Hey Jules,” JJ greeted your dog as you guys walked into your house.

Instantly JJ began to play with Jules as you put everything in place. 

“JJ, you need to get in the bath,” you said.

Your daughter turned and began to walk upstairs. It wasn’t always that she agreed in the first try to what you asked but it was rare times like this that were perfect. Your phone began to ring inside your bag. 

“I’ll be there in a second, sweetie!” You shouted as you walked towards your bag that was in the kitchen’s island. Once in front of it, you grabbed it and smiled. It was Jensen. 

“Heeeey!” He cheered through the screen.

You let out a chuckle and began your way towards JJ's bathroom. 

“Hey, babe,” you smiled at the camera. “What’s up?”

“I’m at the apartment watching sports. It’s lonely here,” he said.

“Aw,” you walked into the bathroom and JJ was ready for the bath. “I’m prepping JJ’s bath,” with one twist the water began to fill the bathtub. “Say hi to daddy,” you turned the screen towards her.

“Daddy!” JJ exclaimed with excitement.

“Hey little bird!” 

You could listen to your husband smile in his tone. 

“How was your first day in school?” Jensen asked.

She got into the bathtub and began to play with the bubbles and toys. Meanwhile you sat and listened to their conversation about her first day. She told him about how much fun she had with her new friends. JJ liked the teacher and the classroom. 

“What was your favorite thing?” You asked.

JJ took a moment to recap her day inside her mind before answering the question.

“Brownies! Mrs. Dixon had brownies.” 

You chuckled, “of course that was your favorite thing.”

“Did you bring me brownies?” Jensen asked.

She shakes her head saying no, “Mommy and I will make brownies for you, daddy.”

“I love that,” he said with a smile. “Babe?”

“Yes,” you turned the phone towards you.

“I miss you,” his tone was low with a spice of sadness.

“I miss you too,” you replied, “can’t wait for Friday to be here already.” 

He smiled, “I can’t wait either. Call me when JJ goes to bed?”

You smirked, “Will do. JJ say good night to daddy?”

“Good night daddy!” She shouted and followed with giggles. “Love you!”

“I love you too birdie,” Jensen said before hanging up. 

_______________________________________________________

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[aethelflaedladyofmercia]

Boundless Love

My final story for @drawlight‘s advent calendar is sort of an epilogue (or, if I’m being super literary, coda) to all of my previous stories. It might be a little cheesy (definitely a little more literary than I generally go for) but I’ve had this ending in mind since like...day 3? So I had to see it through.

The longer scenes are epilogues to several of the other stories in this set; I’ll provide links in case you’ve missed them. This will also function as an Advent Calendar Master Post.

I plan to post the entire series to AO3 under the title “Boundless Love” starting tomorrow (I’ll edit as I go, one or two stories need a bit of re-working). Thank you all for reading, it has been a wild ride!!

25 - Love (3,142 words)

Some people think that every choice we make creates a universe.

This is only partly correct.

--

The fifth night of the festival of Saturnalia, long after even the most determined revelers in Rome had gone to sleep, an angel and a demon stood on a rooftop patio, overlooking the quiet mountainside.

“I think I love you,” Aziraphale said, abruptly, without preamble.

Crowley turned to him, mouth wide, too breathless to respond.

“I’m not…I don’t know whether one can ever be sure in such matters,” Aziraphale hurried on. “It’s a human emotion, after all. Angels weren’t made to love one being above all others. And yet, I think I do.” He smiled at Crowley, as if what he’d said was of only passing interest. “To be honest, I don’t know what to do with this information just yet.”

Crowley moved a little closer, leaned against the raised lip of the patio. “Could be problematic. If your side finds out. I don’t imagine they would approve.”

“No, you’re probably right.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Perhaps not.” Aziraphale stared eastward, waiting for the sunrise. “I suppose I thought you had a right to know. Is that not how this works?”

“Could be. I’m not really an expert, either. Demons aren’t supposed to love anyone at all.”

“Ah.” Aziraphale nodded. Already the sky was beginning to lighten.

“Which makes it a bit troublesome, because I am almost certainly in love, too.”

Crowley shot a glance sideways, watched Aziraphale bite his lip, nod seriously.

“I understand. This person you’re in love with.” His eyes drifted over. “It’s Caligula, isn’t it?”

“Oh, don’t you –”

Aziraphale burst into laughter at the look on Crowley’s face, even as the demon reached over, pulled him close, held him tight.

“I love you,” the angel whispered, pressing lips to his neck, his jaw, his cheek. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” As if the fervent whispers, the beating of his heart, could stop the coming dawn.

--

Each of the infinite universes starts at the same point; they all meet again at the end.

In between, they never touch, never cross, never affect the others in any way. Each plays out its own story, independently.

An infinite number of earths, crossing six thousand years of history. An infinite number of Heavens and Hells, fighting behind the scenes in ways humans can’t comprehend.

And in every universe, there is a demon who asks too many questions, and an angel who doesn’t always obey.

--

“Aziraphale,” Crowley said, eyes wide, balanced on the branch of the apple tree. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I’m sorry, my love,” the angel said with deadly cold eyes. “But this is the way it has to be. Warriors, attack!”

And the platoon of children pelted the evil spirit with snowballs until he fell to the ground, gasping with exaggerated agony.

The angel bent over the fallen figure, inspecting his enemy, and Crowley reached up, grabbing him, pulling him to the ground, burying his face in Aziraphale’s neck.

“My love, you say? My love? Don’t use that word if you don’t mean it, Angel. You’ll find me quite –”

His rant was rudely cut off by a small child shoving a fistful of snow down the back of Crowley’s shirt. “If you two don’t stop kissing after every tree, this is gonna take all night.”

--

Why do they always find each other?

Why do they always cling to each other?

Despite infinite universes seeking to tear them apart, why do they always fall in love?

--

Aziraphale collapsed across the sofa, head and shoulders wedged into the corner, too exhausted to even keep himself upright. The long black serpent lay on his stomach, watching him intently.

“Oh, Crowley,” he tried to keep his voice steady, despite the tears he could no longer hold in. “You were wrong. It was my fault. I’ve – I’ve worked it out now. Obvious, really. Serpent. Human. Two corporations, woven together.” His voice started to crack. “When we changed places I…I sort of dropped a corner. Let one bleed into the other. I – I’m so sorry.”

Crowley took a moment, processing this. “Accccident.”

“Yes, but I…” He held out a hand. Crowley didn’t like to be scratched, or petted, or held. But he did glide across the hand, bringing his snout closer to the angel’s tear-streaked face. “I could have killed you, Crowley. I could have destroyed you over something so…so foolishly simple. You must hate me.”

“No. Nevvver.”

He wiped furiously at his eyes with his free hand. They itched with fatigue as they never had before. “I’m almost there, Crowley. Just a little more. I can see where I dropped it. I can see how to separate them again. I just…just need to figure out how to secure the ends, so it doesn’t happen again.” The sobs broke through again. “I’m nearly there, my love. I’m nearly there.”

“Resssst.”

“I can’t. Not when I’m so close. Crowley I…I need you back. I want to see you human again. And I know you hate this, I won’t leave you in this form a moment longer than necessary, I just…”

“Ssssleeep.” Crowley retreated, coiling up on Aziraphale’s chest. “Ssssleeep. Lovvvve. Sssssleeeep.”

Still shaking, still crying, he drifted off under that watchful golden gaze.

--

You could call it fate. You could call it part of the Plan.

Something written into them, a command on their souls drawing them together.

Something in their makeup that leaves each incomplete, threatens to destroy them when apart.

You would be wrong.

--

A fight at an airbase, a long bus ride, not a word spoken after we’re on our own side.

And after more than twenty-six centuries, Aziraphale found himself again standing beside Crowley’s bed. Not a pile of furs this time, but cotton sheets, black as night.

Crowley pulled off his glasses, met Aziraphale’s eyes, and nodded.

Almost without a thought, their bodies returned to the familiar position, as if they had only left the Celtic roundhouse the day before: lying facing each other, eyes locked, hands entwined. Bare inches apart, as if the queen-sized mattress were a narrow sleeping platform.

Nothing had changed, save that this time it was Crowley who trembled.

“I’m right here,” Aziraphale whispered, running his thumb across Crowley’s fingers. “Nothing’s going to happen to you.”

“It might. What if they come while I’m asleep?”

“I’ll wake you. Come what may, we’ll face it together.”

“You won’t leave?” Crowley knew the answer, but he needed to hear it out loud.

“I made that mistake once, twenty-six centuries ago. I thought I knew what was important. I was a fool. But I know better now.” He released Crowley’s hand and slowly, hesitantly, slid his arm around the demon’s waist. He’d never done this while awake before.

Crowley melted into it, moving closer, pressing his head into Aziraphale’s throat. “Angel. I’m sorry. I never should have –”

“You did what I asked of you. It was my mistake. But I will never, ever leave again. I promise.”

“I loved you, Aziraphale. Even back then, I already loved you.”

“I know. I loved you, too. I just refused to admit it.” They held each other tighter, as if they were always meant to fit together like this. “Rest now. I’ll think of something.”

--

An angel who does what he thinks is right, no matter what he is ordered to do.

A demon who rebels against everything, even the rebellion itself.

If you tried to force them together, you would fail utterly.

They go only where they choose.

--

Crowley woke before the dreams could begin, Aziraphale leaning over him, shaking him gently.

“You don’t have to do that every time,” he muttered, but didn’t pull away. “You can just leave.”

Aziraphale responded as he always did, in a calm, even voice: “I do it because I love you, and you’re safe.”

“Fine, you don’t have to say that every time.”

“I say it because I love you, and you’re safe.” His hand still rested on Crowley’s shoulder. “And I will keep saying both until I’m sure you believe me.”

The demon shifted under the blankets. Aziraphale’s latest idea: breaking the sleep cycle, waking him before the terrors could begin, training his mind to a new rhythm. They would talk briefly, then allow Crowley to drift off again in half an hour. “How will we even know if it’s working?”

“It is working. Your eyes are back to normal. When you have a terror at all, it only lasts a few minutes. You aren’t having nearly as many flashbacks during the day. I know you can’t see it, but it is working.”

“Will I ever be better?” He could see how the weight of caring for him wore on Aziraphale, even if the angel never said a word.

“I don’t know. A human could carry this trauma the rest of their life; it’s generally about managing symptoms rather than finding a cure. But you are a demon. Who can say? I just know, I will keep trying as long as it takes, because I love –”

“Yes, I know.” Crowley grumbled, embarrassed, not quite meeting his eyes. “I love you too, you old sap.”

--

That, perhaps, is the secret.

In an infinite number of universes, under an infinite variety of circumstances, the two beings who never quite fit anywhere will choose each other, again and again, every time.

Never mind the dangers. Never mind the difficulties.

They choose each other, cling to each other, heal each other.

The words they fear to say they spill out in other ways, weaving themselves into the world.

I love you. I love you.

Pulsing through the roots and branches of the ancient chestnut tree, pounding through the hearts of the two beings walking through the grove.

--

1967. The telephone rang at 7:43 PM. Crowley had just about convinced himself the call would never come. Now he pounced on it, lifting it before the first ring even ended, hardly able to choke out a greeting.

“– infernal, blasted device. Can anyone hear me? I’m trying to reach Crowley, Anthony Crowley, he’s been waiting for my call all day, but this wretched machine only makes incomprehensible noises! Oh, he’ll think I’m sulking, or angry, and he’ll disappear on me again, as if I haven’t been so worried about him I can hardly think straight. Connect me right now or the wrath I visit upon you and all your kind will –”

“Angel?”

A very long silence.

“Crowley? Oh, dear. How…long have you been listening?”

“Were you…trying to threaten the telephone?”

“Perhaps?” Aziraphale cleared his throat and tried for his angry, blustery tone again. “This horrible contraption is not even remotely easy to use, despite what you told me –”

“I worried about you, too.”

Another silence. So long Crowley began to panic that the line had somehow disconnected.

“Ah.”

“Do you…want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know what to say.” The voice on the line was much softer now. “I don’t think we should. These things are not…not safe to talk about.” An awkward throat clearing. “But yes. Someday, I very much think I would.”

“When you’re ready,” Crowley said, quietly, gently. “I’ll be waiting.”

--

Sometimes they say it in actions.

A wordless song raised in a Garden.

I see your pain. I’ll show you mine. Hear me. Help me. Love me.

A hundred healing kisses pressed to the skin.

I hurt you. Forgive me. I love you.

A warm drink by the fire and friendly company on a snowy morning.

Let me help you. Let me comfort you. I love you.

The smooth motion of thumbs on the soles of feet, every weekend, for as many weekends as were left to the world.

I love you. Don’t leave me. I love you.

--

1982. The phone rang at 10:08 PM. The demon stumbled out of bed, shooing the spiders away, snatching up the handset on the third ring.

“Yes? Who – yes?”

He relaxed. “Angel. Still haven’t gone back to London?” A pause. “Because the time zones go the other way, idiot. It’s the middle of the night here.”

He listened for a bit, teeth clenched anxiously. “You aren’t going to get in trouble, are you? Going over your healing quota?” Crowley nodded, even though he was alone. “Fine, just, you know. Be smart. Don’t take any stupid risks.”

He smiled a little. “No, a new hotel every night is exactly the right thing. Have you been reading spy novels again?” Raised eyebrows. “Oh, really? What kind of mystery have you encountered, Aziraphale?”

Crowley settled back on the edge of the bed as he listened. “Well, yeah, the television does play movies, that’s the point…Exactly two minutes every time? But different parts? Are you sure it’s the same movie?” He bit his lip as he realized what was going on, struggling not to laugh. “No, no, keep taking notes. You’ll figure it out…Yeah, I definitely want to hear the saga of the pizza boy and the babysitter when you’re done.”

The conversation went on, as it did every Thursday, filled with the boring minutiae of everyday life, plans, complaints, grumblings about the state of the food. And yet, through the demon’s habitual tone of annoyance and disgust shone a warmth and love that colored every word. “Yeah. No. Talk to you next week. I’m looking forward to it.”

--

Sometimes they say it in gifts.

A branch of pine. A remembered song. A clasp of hands on a bus.

Be happy. Be safe. I love you.

A meal delivered just in time. A friendly face interrupting soul-crushing loneliness.

Don’t give up. I need you. I love you.

Forty pairs of tickets to a ballet. A letter. An apology. A wish.

Stay with me. I miss you. I love you.

--

An angel and a demon walked together towards the Ritz, after a body swap and a narrow escape. Blue eyes turned towards a dark figure, again and again, sly as a puppy and just as sweet.

“So, my dear, do you suppose it’s safe to try flirting now?”

“It could still be dangerous. Especially for you. But I suppose I can’t stop you if you want to try.”

“Well then. Crowley.” The eyes batted as if there was an eyelash caught in them. “I like your…face.”

And Crowley grabbed his lapels, slammed him back against the nearest wall, and kissed him in broad daylight until his legs gave out. Aziraphale clung to him, dragging hands through red hair, kissing back for all he was worth.

When they finally parted, gasping for breath, Aziraphale chuckled. “And I thought you didn’t want a snog in a back alley.”

“This is a main road, Angel. And I said I wanted you, forever.” Sharp nose brushed along the curve of a jaw. “You’re in my clutches now. I will never, ever let you go.”

“Oooh. Promise?” Aziraphale winked with both eyes.

Crowley groaned, burying his face in his angel’s shoulder. “How are you the absolute worst flirt to ever exist?”

“Worst? Or best?” Soft arms wrapped around the narrow waist, pulling him close. “After all, I have a 100% success rate. Cassanova wishes he was as good as me.”

“You are an idiot.”

“I love you too, dear.”

--

Through every difficulty, every danger, they survive, they save each other, they build a life.

An angel and a demon, again and again, bound together not by the ties of fate or a Plan they do not understand.

Because love is not something you can command.

Love is a choice.

Love is a decision to reach out, to comfort, to communicate, to make a connection and then build it, maintain it, protect it, help it to bloom.

--

An angel and a demon walked hand in hand through the woods surrounding their cottage on Christmas morning.

“Are you sure you can be happy here?” Crowley wondered, glancing anxiously to the side as they followed the snow-covered path.

“Crowley, my dear,” Aziraphale responded with some exasperation. “There is no place in the world I would rather be than at your side. I would rather eat runny eggs and burnt toast prepared by you than dine at the finest restaurant. I have seen the seven wonders of the world and I prefer to walk through your gardens. I have stood before the greatest artworks ever created and they don’t compare to your smile. I will absolutely be happy here, and my answer will not change in a day, or a month, or a century.”

“But how can you be sure?”

“Because, my dear, my darling idiot, we’ve been married for over a decade!” He stood, Crowley’s face cradled in his hands, giving him his sternest glare. “Are you ever going to stop asking me that stupid question?”

Crowley just grinned. “Probably not. I don’t think I’m going to get sick of the answer any time soon.” He wrapped his arms around Aziraphale, pulled him close, whispered in his ear. “I don’t regret anything, you know. Not one day, not one argument, not one stupid decision in six thousand years. Because it brought us here, where we belong.”

The angel sighed, leaning into the embrace. “Do you think, if things had been different, we still would have fallen in love?”

“No idea.” He pressed a kiss against Aziraphale’s forehead. “Though if you really want to get into that, talk to Adam. He’s on the whole alternate universes thing again. Apparently, we’re the ultimate proof of his theories on the triumph of free will and the continuity of self across infinite iterations.”

“What on earth does that mean?”

“I haven’t a bloody clue! You’re supposed to be the clever one.” Twining their fingers together, Crowley turned to walk back towards the cottage. “That kid is too smart for his own good.”

“He’s hardly a child anymore. None of them are.” Aziraphale turned the ideas over in his head as they walked. “I suppose I will ask him about it when they arrive. If he thinks its important, it probably is.”

“Good. I should have just enough time to burn the potatoes down to charcoal.”

“Crowley, you could try not ruining some part of Christmas dinner. Just for a change.”

“What? And break our oldest holiday tradition?”

--

In an infinite number of universes, an angel and a demon have every opportunity to give up, to walk away, to protect their own existence.

The angel could choose, at any time, to obey, to keep himself safe.

The demon could fall in line, behave as expected, and accept the role he was given.

And yet, over and over –

They choose humanity.

They choose each other.

They choose love.

(Thank you to everyone who has been reading along and sending me encouraging comments! This Calendar topped out at 51,245 words. All written since December 2.

For those who don’t know, I just finished a fic on AO3 that I declared “the longest finished story I ever wrote.” This is longer. 

This challenge has not just created a bunch of stories I never thought I would ever write, but also pushed the boundaries of what I thought I was capable of. I want to thank @drawlight again for posting the calendar and getting all this started. Also quick shout out to my cheerleader @angel-and-serpent who constantly checks to make sure I’m working on this.

My contributions to this writing challenge are complete! I’m going to bed.)

[ilguna]

i also have a list of shit my history teacher (this year) has said and done so I will share it with you:

warning: its really fucking long bc he would say/do shit MULTIPLE times a day

goes onto the next slide, “it’s a meme, get it?” proceeds to explain the meme (its the hey arnold meme with the first)

also goes onto another slide, with the twitter opinion meme. at the end of the paragraph it says “this class smacks, I’m lit”

“I’m going to beat up your brother. i am going to pummel him.”

On the 6th day of class he finally realized that there was a total of 6 guys and the rest were girls

student: “You should not put it in (as an assingment)”. teacher; “laugh out loud, im dead”

he was teaching us how to write a DBQ, the computer had a pop up saying that the battery was low, and then a spider shows up out of fucking nowhere, hanging from the ceiling. he CLAPS it, jokes about eating it, and then sets it on his desk (not in the trash can 2 feet away) so he can “deal with it later”

his endless military stories, specifically ORANGE DESERT

he wrote “if you would have had your thinking skull on” on my first DBQ

him saying “I hate this” after typing a word wrong multiple times while teaching us DBQ’s lmfao

“For the lols”

Threw a box of tissues across the room into the trash can

threw a box of tissues at a student

he had this obsession with throwing expo markers at his whiteboard, trying to make it land on the metal part so expect that a lot.

“Do you want me to drown him in a bathtub?” (which was about a student’s dog that had separation anxiety lmaoo)

Sang the rain drop, drop top song

The collars on his shirt turned up

“He’ll be beaten for that distraction” (after his son called him during his lesson and he willingly answered)

“Stay woke” 

“It was a hot boy summer for him”

expo marker landed on the metal thing for once thanks to a towel that was there

kyle (it must have been a story or something i dont remember)

He woah’d at some point

HAHA so there was a kid in my class that had got caught with a bong on the second week of school and he was suspended. when he came back to class, we were going over what the south grew in the U.S. very early on into colonization. and he used the bong kid as an example of a tobacco farmer

tried to eat a balled up paper

“important revolutionary war stuff”

“My bae, George Washington”

“They could’ve killed g-dubz, but they didn’t”

called george washington “g-dubz” frequiently

“Facts”

“Swagtastic”

he got excited over a military general (baron friedrich von steuben) for being a gay military general--”That was very well respected!”

“He had a ton of swagger”--referring to ben franklin

“His nickname was the swamp fox. You guys can call me that”

The snowball fight story--his brother was friends with a kid he hated next door. my teacher challenged the kid--Eric--to a snowball fight. In preparation, my teacher had froze snowballs, and so when he did have the fight, he LITERALLY knocked Eric out and left him on the front lawn unconscious (he was an elementary school kid)

one time he gave us the punishment quiz by accident, tried to make up for it by giving everyone the answer to #6. however, it turned out to be wrong so he just gave us all 100′s instead

another military story of the goat he bought from an old man with his buddies. unfortunately they had to kill the goat to eat, but the FACT that my teacher said this “a cute little goat--you know, baaa?” as if we didn’t know what a goat was 

He was the golf/hockey coach!! so not only would he talk about beating up the kids in the golf club

he would also do random golf swings all the goddamn time! with no gold club or ball, it was just air.

“You are about to get clowned, young lady”

pronounced pamphlet as pamplet fora good part of his teaching career (another story he told us)

“It’s definitely not the declaration of independence you mouth breather!”

George washington = bae on a powerpoint

“you tied me up real good”

“France also popped off”

Compares the Connecticut compromise to ppap (with the song and everything!)

Told someone to shut up after they suggested that Iowa was the least populated state (he’s from Iowa)

hick iowa, to be exact

Wrote 23 as 32, realized his mistake and said “oop im dyslexic”

“If it’s a purge, I’m killing everybody”

“Federalism, not onion!’

“Who’s the dumbass guy? Ducey!” (our state governor)

he got arrested once. his mugshot is on google images and everything

he got arrested bc some guy was destroying his house w a baseball bat at a party his friendw as throwing (but it was at my teachers house). my teacher respectfully punched him and brought him to the front lawn. called the cops when the guy wouldnt leave and ended up being arrested too. teacher thought his career was over and threatened the guy the entire way to the police station

“laugh out loud!”

“We beat the begeezus out of a bunch of british people”

pronounced wolf as woof

“Who was his daddy? Who’s his daddy?”

Called a swim cap a bonnet

“Kick!”--then proceeds to kick a tennis ball. before that he had just thrown it to get out of his way

“Jesus, you’re a big boy”

for like 2 weeks straight he used that same tennis ball to try and erase a whiteboard. and im not talking rubbing it on the board, he fucking threw it at the wall, getting it off little by little. he eventually gave up, though

“I’ll snot rocket into the trash can”

“Cause I realize most of you are morons”

was obsessed with the cowboy boogie

“Every time I cough, my tail bone hurts”

“Do i look normal?”

“I look like an old man”

“Shut up your faces”

“I see you back there, queen”

“Some of you girls need to learn from this article”--the article was old & about girls being submissive

“that would hurt some people’s feelings, but I’m not gonna show it hurt mine”

“He’s just--’meow’”--about his cat

he had a sweater that had his face on it, photoshopped over a boxer that a student gave him. he wore it during winter

flicked a tennis ball across the room with a hockey stick. hit the coffee thermo on his desk, stared for a couple of seconds, and THEN realized that it was open

First off, all you kids making memes about dodging the draft--we don’t want your dumbasses anyway” --continued to rant for a few minutes after that

he HATED the national anthem with a burning passion

“I’m old as shit”

also, his cat’s name IS meow cat

more expo marker throwing

“Hey there handsome”-- to the teacher next door

“Henry clay is going to haunt you until april” (unfortunately we didnt make it that far into the school year bc of covid. disappointed that i didnt get to be haunted)

Singing electric avenue

“but here’s the tea”

“Flagstaff is like--” *reaches as high as he can to put expo marker on the wall

“I’m adopting all of you, and we’re moving to saudi arabia”

teacher: “I’m gonna break bowers kneecaps in front of you. you still want to be on strike?” not bowers but a different kid: “no...?”

Cleaned the shades in the middle of him explaining something

“You know your pinky toe? this little roast beef?”

THE TURTLE SOUP STORY. when my teacher was still a kid, he found a turtle in the wild, and brought it to his grandparents house (they owned a farm). he took care of the turtle for a while, even after his grandfather found out. until one day he came home and saw blood everywhere, went to find the turtle to see it was gone. then found his grandfather chopping up the fucking turtle so they could have it for soup for dinner. his grandfather literally made him fatten up the turtle so they could eat it

“Did mr.*****--?” (referring to himself in 3rd person, also blocked out to protect privacy)

“i’m going to staple your nostrils closed. staple, staple. ‘I can’t breathe mr.*****!’ should’ve done your DBQ!!”

his pedo stache 

stood with a paper and smiled, thinking that a student was taking a picture of him when it was really the paper

doesn’t know who gaston is???

him: “I’m going to staple your noses together. One staple” Student: “*****’s piercing parlor!”

*singing* “beauty and the beast”

“I’m going to tackle you”

more random golf swinging

“What’s up (my name)?” me: hi *he then hits the bun on the top of my head on his way in the door*

And he did it again the next day

he literally made kids compete with pastries

which reminds me, he brought donuts in 2 days in a row like a week after that and make us (his first hour) take bites bc he realized he didn’t want to eat it. one of the girls was glad to take it from him, everyone else told him no

“Good morning (my name) how are you?” me: “I’m sick again... do you need help? (with the door)” him; “Actually, yes” (normally he can open the door even when his hands are full but there was a stack of pop tart boxes that were as tall as him so) i opened the door, he goes in and says, “thank you (my name), for not being rude”

the following quotes are for the Hot Seat

Student: “what do you do--?” him: “you’re in the hot seat!”

“Some people cry”

“La *****, luxurious”

“You sit here, and you stare (into the projector light)”

basically everyone in the class had to answer a question as a review. there was a stool in front of the smartboard, perfectly placed so that the projector light would LITERALLy be in your eyes. i actually got the question right on some miracle.

“2 points of weed?”

“Can I get some of that hot leaf?”

“They will make more drugs! You can’t do that much drug!”

“You guys bullied me and stole it”

“Whole rest of the nation sucked an egg”

“Whelp, let’s just kill myself”

“Do you guys know david chapel?” *sigh when everyone says no*

*some girls singing the national anthem* Him: “no! none of this, none of this!”

“Calibri’s for idiots” (the font)

“The only thing that was in--shit”

“and uncle sam--gettin lit”

“Their daddy--UH--”

“They’re going to blame the jews--my people” (he got a dna test done, he’s not actually jewish)

“Whatever you say, boomer”

“Use my words to plagiarize in college”

“I’m jewish, that’s offensive”

“Tell him he gave me instant cancer”

Me: “can i go to the bathroom?” him: “I’ll allow it”

him: “He’s antisemetic and it hurts my feelings” student: “what does that mean again?” him: “Hates jews :(”

“You guys can call me kingfish if you’d like”

~ after we said no to the nicknames, we tried to make one for him ~

student: “cornhusker!” him: “no, that’s offensive... and it’s also nebraska”

student: “corn picker!” him: “no--that sounds like a racist term or something”

“Unless corona really does take over--” (thank u, mr. for ruining the school year”

Student: “how old was she (his mom) when she had you?” him: “thirteen”

“My mom just turned 40 the other day...” (a joke)

him: “My brother got t-boned by a semi truck last night” Student: “Why are you laughing?” him: “Because he lived.”

“Yeah bc I would hide out in a public school with 300 new kids a year” (about him not living in iowa so he’s hiding out in az to get away from his “criminal record” (refer to the 1 time hes been arrested))

“Baby death?”

“Their family has more money than jesus”

*Standing outside the door yelling “CORONA” to students walking in”

“Hey I’m *****, f-word, blah, blah”

“We should fight our cats.”

“OH that’s a big chonk cat.”

“Mortal Kombat is pretty cool. I haven’t played in 25 years”

he told us in class once that we shouldnt open the front door if cops show up at a party. just to shut the blinds and be a little quieter bc the cops cant legally open the door

also one time he had a gun pointed to his face but he never finished that story bc he never liked it

during quarantine he set a DBQ as 1000 points (and i still didnt do it)

and “Here’s the tea, kiddos!”

honorable mentions: all the time he’s sent out emails bc theyre fucking hilarious

[mcmaraudonald]

a rainbow coloured mess

Pairing: Lucas x Eliott

Words: 1353

Fluff and Stuff, not a native speaker. Read on Ao3 

By now the Tv was only background noise. Eliotts head was resting on his chest, their fingers intertwined, their conversation long stopped. Lucas wasn’t sure, but he thinks Eliott had fallen asleep again. He was like a large dog, cuddled to his side, one leg draped over his body, trying to make himself as small as possible, squeezing himself into all the small spaces next to Lucas. 

The whole weekend had been much of the same. After running back to the apartment, still on their soaring high, they turned the bathtub into a rainbow coloured mess. When they finally decided to be clean enough, after maybe showering a little too long, loosing themselves in each other again, they fell onto the sofa, continuing to kiss each other breathless, just feeling the other one. Being so close, Lucas had never imagined it possible.  After all this hardship, all this heart break to finally be next to him like this. Feeling Eliotts finger drawing burning patterns on his back, feeling his breath on his neck and lighting him on fire. It was overwhelming. 

Of course they also talked about it, about what happened, about their “relationship”. He didn’t even have to think twice, when he told Eliott that he wanted something serious. It was such a stark contrast to the last weekend he still didn’t feel 100 percent certain of everything. But with Eliott next to him like this, it was hard not to hope and fall for him more than ever. And he really was falling hard. In the hours spend with him, Lucas learned more and more about him, so how could he not fall deeper down that rabbit hole?

For once, Eliott was the worst cook, with also the strangest taste out there. He would mix the most uncommon ingredients and conjure the most gruesome meals, Lucas literally had to barf his breakfast into the sink. He was also the most cuddliest person on this planet. Not a second went by where he didn’t reach out for the smaller boy. Like he had to make sure Lucas was really here and not a manifestation of some kind. Constantly Eliotts hands where somewhere on his body, running over his arms, clinging around his waist, his head in Lucas hair. But what he loved even more, was when Lucas pulled him in, hugging him closely from behind, playing big spoon and keeping him safe. Running his fingers through Eliotts wild mane. He nearly purred. No joke. Eliott also slept a lot. He could nearly see the rings under his eyes disappear. The separation seemingly also took a toll on him.  But then again, Eliott only fell asleep when his large body was nestled against Lucas, and the smaller boy absently stroked his cheek and dropped kisses after kisses on top of his head. But Lucas wouldn't dare to complain, he was happy to serve as a pillow for this boy, more than he could ever tell.

Over the weekend they watched countless movies, Eliotts and Lucas taste of course a vast difference. Himself living for horror movies and thrillers, the older boy loving independent ones, the artsy kind, with epic love stories. Yes, he was that kind of cliché. But he really should have guessed, after the whole Polaris thing. Somehow though, they never really seemed to catch more than the intro of a film, too quickly getting lost in each other’s eyes and touches. Lucas heart constantly beating in hyper speed.  Eliotts showering him with kisses, playfully biting light bruises onto his neck.

Slowly but surely Lucas could feel himself getting hungry again. He smiled, so the saying was right, you couldn’t just live a lush life off nothing but mere air and love. Quietly he slipped out of the covers into some sweats and made his way into the kitchen. He was just putting the pasta into a boiling pot when he heard steps behind him. It was really endearing, seeing Eliott like this. His hair tousled, his eyes still heavy from sleep. He was wearing one of Lucas jackets, which looked really hilarious, as it was at least two numbers to small, the sleeves far too short, not even covering his wrists. Lucas smiled as Eliotts hands encircled him and he pressed a small kiss onto his forehead. “Why did you leave? What are you doing?” - “I thought we should probably eat something eatable for once.” The taller boy chuckled lightly and tightened the embrace. “Maybe for people without taste buds. I thought the Poni was delicious.” - “I think you are the one without taste buds. It tasted like feet!” He just got his hair tousled for that comment. “hm, would you rather eat Poni for the rest of your life? Or feet once?”

That was another thing Eliott did, playing a little game of would you rather. It ranged from just plain preposterous questions of “would you rather have three arms or three eyes”, to more serious ones. Like the one he asked the night before. They were lying comfortable on the sofa, darkness stretching over them, Lucas mind unable to focus on anything but Eliott. Feeling every movement, feeling every kiss igniting a firework on his skin. Their clothes somewhere on the floor, the room filled just with heavy breaths and small moans. “Lulu?” He pouted as Eliott stopped dragging his lips over his body. He tried to catch them again, pulling his head closer to Eliotts, but Eliott himself seemed determinded to keep Lucas a few centimetres away. “Lucas?” “Hmh?” He was still pouting, damn it, he really never thought he would be that kind of guy, so unbelievable needy. “What is it?” -  “Would you rather…” -  “Really? That’s why you stopped kissing me? I still don’t know, probably the jumping 6 feet high all the time thing. Now kiss me. ” Eliott smirked and Lucas knew he could see right through his annoyed facade. “That’s not what I wanted to ask.” Eliotts voice was soft, uneven. This was something serious and he wanted an earnest answer, Lucas could tell. “Would you rather…  do this all again with me? Or have the chance to go back and change everything back to the way it was?”

He could see the insecurity in Eliotts eyes. Could tell that there was a deeper meaning, a deeper fear even if he wasn’t sure what exactly it was just yet. But nonetheless the answer still was easy, simple really. “I would. I have never felt something like this. It never happened before.” He felt Eliott nuzzling closer, his mouth near Lucas ear. A soft whisper “Me neither.” This weren’t just butterflys in his stomach. It was a whole zoo. 

“Are you staying tonight?” this time it was Lucas soft, uncertain voice breaking through the silence. “I told you, I am not going anywhere.” -  “So, we’ll go to school together tomorrow?” -  “Yes, lulu. I have to show you off tomorrow, so everybody knows.” A light laugh escaping his lips. “How are you planning to do that?” -  “Well first I will walk into the common room and label that butt print on the wall as yours.” - “There weren’t any butt prints! I checked!” Eliott only huffed. “Yes, there where and you know it! But for now, I know something I like to do.” In anticipation of a kiss Lucas etched even closer, as if it was possible to be any closer than this. “Hmh and what’s that?” Instead of an answer Eliott leaned away from him and picked up his phone from the table next to the couch, opening Instagram and snapping a quick picture of both of them. He quickly wrote a caption and posted it. Lucas would be lying if his heart didn’t fly out of his chest right then and there, happiness practically overflowing. Lui. “You like it?” As answer Lucas just kissed him, trying to take his breath away, just as much as Eliott did his. Trying to tell him all the things he couldn’t yet manage to tell. You are the only one that matters. And I love you, I love you, I love you.

[purplefairywriter]

Maknae Line BTS as RPG Classes

And I’m back! If you’re starting here, here’s the gist: This idea has been wandering around in my head for a while so I finally decided to release it into the wild world. This is based on D&D for the most part but I opted not to go into details about their races, so this is just going to be a run down of their classes and alignments. If you don’t know what classes are alignments are, I’ll explain it as I go through the members of BTS. Alignments are only meant to be kind of a guide to your characters and not a blanket statement for how characters will act. SPOILER ALERT: most of them are on the good spectrum alignment wise. Hyung Line

JIMIN

Blurb Jimin sat on the bridge, with his legs dangling over the steady river below. He heard the footsteps of many other adventurers and wanderers cross the bridge. He was at peace until he heard crying. Not just any crying, but a crying he had come to recognize. The crying of heartbreak. He slowly stood up and turned around to see a rather attractive woman standing at the bridge, crying her eyes out. He walked over and greeted her. When she looked up at him, he recognized her as an old acquaintance of his that he always had liked in a romantic way. But he realized she viewed him as nothing more than a friend long ago, as many women had. They saw him as a "cute, fluffy puppy" as one woman had put it. It never bothered him, the only thing that mattered to him was that he made people smile. Other people's smiles were the only thing keeping his inner darkness at bay. Jimin knew he had the power to make women swoon over him but he rarely used it. Now was not one of those times. He took the instrument off his back, and with a smile asked: "Would you like me to play a song for you?" The woman stopped crying and nodded. After hearing him sing, she knew all she needed to do was think of Jimin and smile if she ever got sad again... Class “The bard is a master of song, speech, and the magic they contain... Only rarely do bards settle in one place for long... Bards thrive on stories, whether those stories are true or not.” This is BTS’s 2nd full on bard. Unlike the stereotypical bard, he's not gung-ho, flirting 24/7. He may tell a dirty joke here and there, but he most comes off as shy. Which works great as an advantage. With your average bard, you can spot them a mile away with their general swagger. Jimin, however... he can be sitting there, in the tavern, gaining someone’s trust by making them think how cute or how much of a non-threat he is only for them to be astonished by how he can actually hold his own, fight, and be sexy as anything while doing it. Which makes him a whole other kind of threat! I have a feeling that if Bard!Jin and Bard!Jimin ever met the two of them would get into a fight over who was the best bard. Alignment Neutral Good (he would work to do the best good he can without disregarding or upholding every law).

V

TW: implied attempted assault (not described - not V’s doing), swearing (not V’s doing), violence (I think most of us would agree really deserved violence but I’ll let you decide that) Blurb V sat on what used to be a great oak tree. Now all that remained was a stump, worn away by time. His bow and arrows were close by. As they always were. He held a piece of wood in his hand as he whittled a slight heart shape out of it with his knife. He knew these woods like the back of his hand. He could walk through the forest blindfolded, he had bragged once. Back when he had friends. Life was far more comfortable for him now that he had separated himself from nearly everything. All he needed was the forest. Or so he reminded himself nightly as he slept under the stars. A loud scream from the distance made him jump to his feet. He grabbed his weapon and wandered towards the source of the noise. He had expected it to be some poor idiot who managed to get themselves mauled by a bear. Instead, it was a young woman who had run into a lone bandit. "Let go of her." V demanded. "Why should I, ranger? Fuck off." The bandit said as he pulled the young woman closer to him. She was crying, crying in a way that made V's skin crawl. He could tell from the way she was dressed that she was nothing more than an innocent villager who had either gotten lost or had wandered into the woods. "Last chance. Let her go or we'll have a problem." V said, not wanting to distress the woman further. "Fuck you!" The bandit said. That was the last thing the bandit ever got to say as he found himself with an arrow lodged right between his eyes. The bandit dropped dead, releasing his hold on the woman in the process. "You okay?" V asked as he approached her. She nodded, still a little distressed. "I'll show you how to get back to your village if you need me to. Don't wander in the woods like that, not unless you're properly prepared." V said, accidentally showing a little care as he spoke. He turned around to lead the way. When she said something that made him stop in his tracks. "But... but my father's been taken by a fae!" Class “Warriors of the wilderness, rangers specialize in hunting the monsters that threaten the edges of civilization—humanoid raiders, rampaging beasts and monstrosities, terrible giants, and deadly dragons... Many rangers, though, are independent almost to a fault, knowing that, when a dragon or a band of orcs attacks, a ranger might be the first—and possibly the last—line of defense.” Ranger. I don’t know why, I can just see V wanting to sleep under the stars each and every night (as if that isn’t true for other members of BTS...) Also, with his IRL family being farmers, I’d think that in an RPG setting, V would naturally end up becoming a ranger somehow. Why not a rogue, like Suga? Unlike Suga, I feel like V would want to feel truly alone. Suga would want to share his music if he ever got the chance, he would want to be around people to watch and talk to. Suga would thrive off the metropolitan lifestyle of cities. V would like to at least think he’s alone every once in a while which would be harder to do in a city. Alignment Chaotic Neutral. He’d follow his whims most of the time, wanting to just be left alone so he can do whatever he feels is right. However, I do feel like he’d lean towards the ‘Good’ side with most things, so like Suga, he’d start off as more Neutral before becoming more Good. However, if he felt like he was doing something for the ‘right person’, he would probably do it, regardless of the alignment that action is assigned to.

JUNGKOOK

Blurb

Jungkook stood at the bar of the tavern, pondering over what to drink. He heard a group of rowdy men behind him, boasting of their adventures around the world. That perked his interest. He picked up his weapon and wandered over to the group. He listened in for a moment before finally entering the conversation. "I fought a bear once!" The men glared at him, seeing his unscarred face and body (the parts of his body they could see anyways), and said nothing. Until their leader scoffed. "You're nothing but a boy! You'd best save your tall tales for your mother, shouldn't ya?" Jungkook was taken aback by the response, as he had fought a bear. He beat it fair and square too, unlike half of those men who relied on magic or trickery. "I'm telling the truth, I did fight a bear. I've beaten an orc, too, once. He was drunk, and I made the mistake of calling his tusks small-" Jungkook began, excited that he could finally tell his stories as well. "Go tell your mother, boy. Leave us men to talk business." The leader said. Jungkook frowned. "Fine. You're the leader of this warrior guild, right?" "Right." The leader replied. "Then fight me. If I beat you, I get to join you guys on a real adventure!" "And if I lose?" "Then I'll go home and never bother you guys again." Jungkook said that in a way that made the leader roll his eyes. "Awful cocky for one so young... fine, it'll serve a good lesson to you when I grind you into dust, boy." The leader said as they headed outside to duel. The leader got his ass handed to him in a tough but fair fight that Jungkook won by relying on his pure strength alone. From that day forward, Jungkook became like a son to the warrior guild, who raised him to be strong and brave. Although they never quite got him to stop being so cocky... Class “Fighters learn the basics of all combat styles... Some fighters feel drawn to use their training as adventurers. The dungeon delving, monster slaying, and other dangerous work common among adventurers is second nature for a fighter, not all that different from the life he or she left behind. There are greater risks, perhaps, but also much greater rewards...” Fighter. I don’t think Jungkook would be much of a Barbarian, he’d have to have order and reason. I think Jungkook would have a bit of a higher charisma score compared to other fighters, which gives him an edge over other fighters. Alignment For Jungkook, a lot of that is up to the party he’s in imo. His ‘natural’ (if you can call an alignment that, I’m not sure) alignment would be somewhere on the good spectrum, probably neutral good to start out. I could see Jungkook ‘breaking alignment’ for a friend in need. That’s it for now! I may do some actual character sheets (as in a full-on character build with races, stats, the whole 9 yards maybe) or even write the whole situation regarding the blurbs!

[megswritingplace]

How Do You Sleep? (Shelby Sister fic)

So, for the first time ever, I’m posting my work on Tumblr as well as AO3. This fic will follow a slightly altered timeline for the Shelby’s, as another Sibling is introduced (and John is still alive). Any thoughts/comments/questions are appreciated. I’m hoping to make this a whole story, but bare with me as writings block is strong atm.

Chapter 1

St Abigail’s School for Girls, Sussex 

“As you know from the letters we sent Mr. Shelby, we had a few tense years to begin with. But, considering her upbringing, that was to be expected,” the woman Tommy was following spoke plainly, unbothered that she had just openly insulted him and his family. He nodded along though, hoping the insult would counteract the fact that he had never read any letter the school had sent him. He never saw the need for the correspondence, it was their job to deal with any problem, and what could he have done from Small Heath anyway? 

“The recent years have shown a remarkable improvement. I would go as far as to say she’s now one of our model students,” the woman continued talking, as she led him down yet another never-ending corridor.  

Her words surprised Tommy greatly. He had hoped he was coming home with an average report at best, even that would have been better than the rest of the Shelby’s put together. Well, except Michael, and possibly Ada, although Tommy knew she only liked to think she was better than her name after living in London for so long. A ‘model student’ was much more than Tommy was expecting, especially when he remembered who he had brought here all those years ago. The thought made him apprehensive to see who he would be taking home this afternoon. If she had changed so drastically, how would she fit back into family dynamic again? 

“I apologise again for not being able to keep her here until her 18th Birthday, but we really need the space back for some of the new girls coming before September. And now she’s officially finished, we can’t legally keep her here. I know you’re a busy man Mr. Shelby, but you’re only her legal guardian for a few more months; and the last I heard there was talk of University,” the woman stated. To Tommy’s ears, she sounded more excited than she had any right to be. University was a word the rest of the family barely knew, it was sure to go down like a led balloon if it was ever brought up.  

Before the woman could add anything else to her one-sided conversation, she finally stopped walking. She had brought them before two large mahogany doors, that looked just as heavy as Tommy’s heart felt in that moment. The two brass knobs attached felt more domineering than anything Tommy had faced in years, including his now frequent trips to Parliament. He would rather face unrelenting Politicians than whoever was waiting for him on the other side of these doors.  

Tommy was able to take one deep breath before the woman pushed the doors open, forcing him to step inside. Tommy took the room in for a moment, finding it similar to his study at home. It felt just as luxurious, and ironically just as fake, as his own. His gaze wandered until it reached the one high-back leather chair facing away from him. From there, his gaze got stuck on the top of the head that was peeking out at him, covered in hair that looked incredibly similar to his own.  

“Alice?” Tommy jumped as the women’s who brought him here spoke, he had forgotten all about her. As she spoke, she began to approach the girl in the chair, whilst Tommy’s feet felt frozen to the ground. “Are you ready to go?” the woman asked with a smile, “Mr. Shelby is here to collect you.” Either the girl in the chair did not answer, or she spoke so softly Tommy could not hear her, but before he could register what was happening, the girl in the chair stood up.  

Tommy held his breath as the girl turned around to face him. He averted his eyes away from her face as soon as she turned, he could not bring himself to look into her eyes just yet. Instead, the first thing he took note of were her hands. Whilst one was cradled loosely in a fist, the other was delicately holding onto a book. With her index finger marking the page she was on, the book was turned so Tommy could read the title. Tommy’s instantly recognised the book and the cover, it was the same copy of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland he had dropped her off with. Based on the tattered look of the spine, Tommy guessed this was not first time she had reread it. A twinge of guilt pierced Tommy at that thought, though he could not explain why.  

Tommy knew he was making the situation more awkward than it needed to be, refusing to look into her eyes, and not even greet her, but something inside was stopping him. In truth, he just did not know what to say, for once. He had spoken to all manner of people over the years, and with his newly attached title, making small talk was an almost daily occurrence to him. But this was different. It was foreign but familiar. The last time he had seen her, she was ten, and did enough talking for the both of them. She could have talked for hours on end, about horses, and playing, and reading. But now, he had no idea what the girl in front of him would want to talk about. She had lived a separate life for the past seven years, alone, independent from the rest of Shelby’s and Small Heath. Another pang of guilt hit Tommy at that thought, though he knew why this time. It felt like the only similarity between now and seven years ago was the book she was holding. 

Tommy knew he had stalled for long enough. He lifted his eyes up, knowing it was time to greet the girl in front of him. However, when their eyes connected, he still found himself at a loss for words. His mind was racing trying to think of something to say. If he could not say something now, how would he cope in drive back to Birmingham? He should have brought John or Arthur, or even little Charlie with him. All three of them would be able to break this silence easily, even just by saying nonsense. Tommy opened his mouth in the hope that some words would fall out, anything would do at this point.  

However, just as he did so, a small smile came across the young girl’s face. For the first time, he noted she had an air of patience around her, a trait he never remembered her possessing before. It felt as though all she was waiting for was for him to finally connect his eyes with hers, because when he did so, she was the one to break the silence.  

“Hello Tommy,” she said in a voice as soft as her smile, something that should have warmed Tommy’s heart, had he not noticed a hard look instantly cross over her eyes. “Long time no see brother.” 

- 

Arrow House, Birmingham 

“Why the fuck are we going to all this effort Pol’?” John complained, watching yet another maid flit about the room, cleaning up non-existent mess. He was exhausted just watching them.  

“Yeah,” Arthur piped in from behind the newspaper he was reading, “it’s not like she’ll notice, she’s the messiest of us all.” 

Polly rolled her eyes at her nephews. Alice did use to be the messiest Shelby, but that was when she was ten, and lived in a house full of men. She had spent the last seven years away from them, learning things the rest of Shelby’s could probably never comprehend. Polly knew the girl making her way back with Tommy was not the same one that left with him, and she was not sure the rest of the family understood that. But they had all changed so drastically, how could they not think she had as well? 

“Need I remind you what school she’s been for the past seven years? Don’t you remember Pearl Higgn’s niece going to St. Abigail’s? She only went for a year, and look how she came back. You shouldn’t be expecting the same wild little ten year old to be walking through those doors later,” Polly knew she sounded harsh, but they had to be told. If they had unrealistic expectations for her, they were sure to be disappointed, and these boys could never hide their expressions well.  

Polly heard Arthur snort from the corner, before mumbling, “oh, we all remember how Pearl’s niece turned out,” making Polly roll her eyes.  

“Come on Pol,” John started, “even at ten, she had the most gypsy blood out of all of us. Running around the streets barefoot and filthy. Even Tommy couldn’t stop her most of the time. Do you really think the years could get that out of her?” 

Polly shook her head at John’s naiivity. Despite everything they had seen and experienced, the Shelby boys still held onto hope that their sister would come back to them just as innocent and sweet as when she left. Polly knew better though. Even if she had been in Small Heath, Alice would not have stayed innocent for long, but at least they would have experienced it first-hand and known why. Now though, seven years of mystery stood between them, and who knew what had happened to her in that time? And if Polly knew one thing, she knew the years at that school would have definitely got the gypsy spirit out of her, by whatever means necessary.