#look. if i am ever on heavy painkillers again

[mossnrocksnbogwater]

i need charlie bone to gain a massive fandom so that there are young people with poor media literacy writing instalove/soulmate bullshit about charlie and dagbert because it would be REALLY REALLY FUNNY

[hella1975]

happy eurovison!! do your stretches!!!

babe it's been days since i did my stretches at this point im too scared

[suguru-getos]

//fractures// geto suguru x f!reader // chapter 3

links 🔗: part one // part two

story summary: being a monkey is the norm except when you're captured by geto sama because he needs money from your parents. however, you may just have to suffer a little extra because of the forced thinking about the right and wrongs... you're putting him through. the affection you’re forcing him through…

chapter summary: after getting a fever from the injury, geto calls shoko to treat you — however, he ends up being conflicted and bruising your psyche again with his words & actions. you, (sorta?) fight back this time though.

warnings: signs of abu$e, heavy degradation, mean mean mean MEAN geto, reader also gets mean by the end of it. fluff if you squint-,-

a/n: i'm just writing off this chapter for my funsies :3 but please it is such a 'dead dove do not eat' story so i'd suggest people PLEASE read it after heeding through the warnings ;) also, not beta’d 🤺✨

"its 100 degrees." manami sighs, taking the thermometer out of your mouth. a soft pout on your lips, "then do something to get rid of it, where is the anti-fever medication?" suguru raised a brow. after having your hand carved, it was obvious you would get a high fever. it was too much toll on your body. ever so evident anyway. "and some painkillers." you added, frankly you were still sweating in pain, it hurt. everywhere hurts. "the doctor will be here soon." suguru huffs, looking at manami dismissively, he can't really show that his heart is breaking apart for a good for nothing monkey after all. manami leaves with an eye roll. she felt conflicted too, geto's feelings were enabling everyone to think a little about their actions.

soon, shoko was here to heal you. she glanced at your form, you were beaten and bruised. eyes mingling with suguru, "she is a non-sorcerer." she commented, and raised a brow. "geto, I am surprised she is alive here" she hums, no expression on her face whatsoever. suguru doesn't respond, and neither do you. it did not help at all that she was amazed at something like that. after a second or two, you hummed, "cus he wouldn't get the money from my parents."

suguru's eyes widen, it- is it? is it the money that's making him act this way? no, money is never above his moral compass. the whole reason you're so tattered is because money doesn't matter. his resolve is just being tested, that's all. "shoko, don't heal her." suguru's jaw twitches, he doesn't want to do this but seems like he has to. "I want her worthless self to remember who she is even after she leaves, I want that shit to scar." he crosses his arms, looking at you with predominant hatred.

your heart sinks, you hadn't even thought about how it would feel… to see the grotesque mark looking in your hand for the rest of your life. monster, geto suguru is a monster.

tears well up in your eyes, shaking your head no rapidly. "please don't- please s' hurting too much-" you begged, hands reflexively gripping at his gojo-gesa. "no- no- g-geto? geto- sama" you answered again, while suguru notices how your body shivers in pain and drenched in sweat. "did I say you could touch me? you piece of shit?" a snarl echoed through the room, geto's hand raised to hit you but stopping, you were cowering, all small and flinching. just like his girls. hot and cold, his behavior has been hot and cold. one moment he was hugging you to calm you down, now, he's ordering shoko to let you suffer in pain. "if you touch me again, you filthy monkey, I will make sure to break every bone in your body and leave you handicapped in the basement to rot and starve." his jaw clenched, while you couldn't do anything but listen. you don't want to die anyway. "I'm sorry." you mumbled, heartbroken. six more days with him. your broken voice shoves him back into his senses, he is trying so hard to ensure that it doesn't happen - that he doesn't feel like killing himself, so he is uttering shit, whatever helps to balm his own brimming rebellion against his own thoughts. your eyes are still kind, its just the way they are, you still can't look at him with anything except a silent plea for mercy.

"I think I should heal her, else she would die of an infection." she holds your wrist, a drastic change in your body immediately felt when she began to heal you. your internal injuries, popped lip, the carving, the cumulative blinding pain of it all fading away into nothing. geto only stands still, watching the way your creased brows turn softer, how your pained face turns neutral.

"thank you." you mumbled at shoko, and she smiles. "I don't know why he's got you kidnapped like some third grade movie's villain, but we have another certain someone who can save you perhaps." suguru raises a brow at shoko, the audacity was impressive. she leans back, watching the glimmer of hope in your face. her hand lands onto geto's shoulder, squeezing it firmly. "she's a human, didn't you say picking on the weak was not a good thing geto?" suguru rolls his eyes, gently pushing her away. "leave." he commands instantly, while shoko smiles at you, "see you, ne? y/n san!"

you were curious, who was this other person that she could send to help? then again, you're not sure if anyone could help you against this monster in front of you. suguru sighs, the way he speaks to you torments him more than it could ever torment you. which in-turn, makes him try harder to reach a state where he DOES NOT, feel this pathetic after abusing you. so? he mumbles again. "I wonder if you worked like a stripper mm?" you blinked, unsure where this was coming from. no, you weren't a stripper. you waited for him to continue whatever he meant to say. "I mean you certainly look the part, perky boobs, are they fake or real?" your face pales, so far geto has harmed you but nothing was remotely sexual, this turn makes you want to throw up. the expression of sheer panic on your face isn't gone unnoticed by him. he wants to stop, he wants to make sure he never says something like this ever again. then again, he just needs to 'kill' this kind, and caring part of him anyway. "maybe next time I can carve your insides up with the knife, leave you bleeding if you ever try to touch me again. since you want me so bad anyway?" you shake your head no, like a forced obedient pup in training. he was horrifying, absolutely fucking disgusting and every part of you wished he was dead.

to suguru… though, these were all just words. maybe now you will stop looking at him with hidden expectations that he would be kinder, nicer. more tolerable… you don't deserve that, monkeys don't deserve that!

"you will get your lunch and dinner here, don't move or I will chain you with your hands tied up and let my girls practise boxing on your pathetic rag of a body." christ, he was fucking insane. your mouth couldn't help it-

"you utter so much shit just because you're capable of killing me? maybe you're a frustrated eunuch, clearly looks from that disgusting, vomit inducing face. I hope you're killed like the dog that you are, impaled on something sharp since that's all you could ever think of, bastard." you widened your eyes after these words left your mouth. dead. you are to be dead.

suguru is stunned. "this is what happens when pets like you aren't trained well. as soon as the pain is gone, your mouth is on again hmm?" he's amused, you clearly can't do anything to him. still… your words… hurt. why do they fucking hurt? are you important to him? certainly not-

"mutts sleep on the floor." he yanks you outside the bed, throwing you on the marble floor and leaving.

six more days… and he will have you gone.

six more days, and you will never see the fucking bastard.

[spacebaby1]

Hii I saw your post where you said you wanted ansgt ideas for sukuna. You can make one where sukuna acts like she despises you (when in reality she loves you but can't stand the idea that I love you) you have never understood but you don't care. And one night you show up at her house in the early morning because the situation at your house had gotten violent (reader's father is abusive). Sorry this is very long 😭

This is about to hit home for me! I live for protective Sukuna. Enjoy!!

Your father had a ticking temper ever since your mother left him; one minute he'll be laughing and talking the next he'll start screaming and throwing things. Today wasn't different but what made it worse is that your classmate Sukuna wouldn't stop bothering you all the day. You didn't know what to do; thinking about how your father got mad last night at you for being a minute late with his dinner or deal with Sukuna bothering you, either ways you just ignored him.

When you got home you father wasn't there which was a relief and you prayed that he should just sleep somewhere out at his friend's house which he did sometimes and you were happy that tonight will be the same. You were in your room going through you instagram when a text popped up on your screen. It was Sukuna and him sending some hateful text which you ignored and went on scrolling om your phone.

It was around 3 am when you heard the door open and shut making you jump at the loud thud and you phine ringing made you flinch; Sukuna was calling, probably to annoy you and you didn't answer. Few minute later you heard shouting and screams of your father and things being thrown on the wall. Your heart dropped and immediately you ran downstairs trying to stop your father from throwing things around at your mothers framed picture. He grabbed you by the hair making your phone fall from your hand and accidentally answer to Sukuna's call. Sukuna was about to go off on you probably to mock you when he heard your painful screaming from the other side of the call, "what the hell you yelling like that?" He tried to not panic when you didn't answer but kept on screaming and crying because of your father grabbing your hair and hitting you, "P-please stop, you're hur-hurt-" you cried but your father kept screaming at you and holding you by the hair. Sukuna's heart dropped when he heard your father voice.

Jumping out of his couch Sukuna rushed out of the door and ran towards your house which was few hours from his.

He could hear the voices of your cries when he approached your house and thanked God that the door was unlocked. Sukuna rushed inside the house pushing your father away causing you both to fall. "You son of a bitch!" Sukuna picked your father by his collar and punched him till he was unable to stand. Sukuna rushed to your side as you were struggling to get up from the pain in your head while crying, "hey, hey. Let me see," Sukuna gently looked at your head and saw you bleeding a bit, you looked at him and he saw your brushed face and bleeding nose. He felt rage as he got up one more time to kick your father over and over until you cried for him to stop. Immediately Sukuna stopped and sat next to you, "Come on, I'll take you to hospital. Can you stand?" You shook your head still sobbing. "It's okay sweetie, I got you." He picked you up carried you out of the house.

Sukuna stood by your side as the nurse patched you up, he was angry and bitting on his nails. The cut on your lips, your bloody nose and the mark on your cheek made him want to go back and bear your father once again, "take this painkiller, it will help with the headache. Nothing to be worried about but we need you to stay here for the night, we need to do few checkups in case of broken bones or muscle fracture, okay?" The nurse told you as you nodded feeling your eyes heavy.

"S-sukna, you should go home, it's la-"

"The hell I'm not!" He sat beside you on the bed looking mad but not at you and you knew that. You placed your hand over his, "Thank you, Sukuna." You whispered laying your head on his shoulder to which he just hummed only to hear your soft snoring; you fell asleep on his shoulder.

Carefully he laid your head on the pillow and went to shut the door so the outside noise won't wake you up. He came back and sat on the chair next to the bed but he couldn't get comfortable. His feet accidentally hit the bed making you flinch in your sleep and you groaned in pain and was about to cry in your sleep when Sukuna jumped off the chair. Caressing your head softly, "Shhh, sorry sweetheart. Shhh go back to sleep." He whispered.

You moved to your side, holding on to his hoodie, and slowly calmed down, eventually falling asleep and holding on to him tightly. Carefully he got on the bed beside you and held you close, making sure to not hurt you as he kept on caressing your hair softly, "you don't need to worry anymore, I'm here, I'm so so sorry baby," he whispered placing a small kiss on your forehead, "I'm here for you, I'm gonna kill that man with my bare hands if he dare to touch you." You sighed in your sleep and snuggled closer to him.

[oneshotnewbie]

Could you please do a part 2 for the Meredith Grey imagine you just did? Like where she wakes up or something

ᕚ---ᕘ

Your body was a single throbbing pain, every little movement made you moan as you regained consciousness. A rhythmic sound beeped in your ears, racking your brain that felt heavy while a soft and quiet voice pushed itself to the forefront of your senses. "Hey, there you are again"

"M-mer, what happened?" you groaned. Colorful circles danced in front of your tired eyes, mixing with the blurred reality and you only dimly perceived what was happening around you. Your whole body hurt, your arm burned like hell.

The addressed petite figure with waved, dark blonde hair appeared in front of the gleaming background of the room in which you were laying in. Her hand gently laid over your shoulder joint and massaged it with soft, circular movements before she began to mumble the answer in a worried but relieved voice. "You were in an accident,"

Only slowly did the image before your eyes clear, composing into a reasonable view and separated the woman in front of you from the bright light. Your view immediately wandered to her face, whose lips wore a slight smile while her eyes showed radiant fear and tears that were accumulating.

"I am glad you are okay," Meredith Grey continued, catching a clearing breath as she played with a fold of the blanket that completely encased your body. Meredith's features slipped into fear and sadness at that moment. Her entire presence seemed different, her inexplicable inner storm clearly palpable even at this distance. "I do not know what I would do without you"

The blonde's heart was pounding against her chest, blood was rushing in her ears and she was breaking out of her paralysis. Getting up from the cold chair, she stalked back and forth around the room. The cold light filled the white walls with a surreality that made her heart beat even faster. With every second that passed, the memory of the blood, of the silence of your limbs, and the noise of the emergency room and around you, stabbed her soul, burrowing deeper into her consciousness each time.

One horror scene after another ran through Meredith's head and the uncertainty about whether she would ever be able to confess her feelings to you burned painfully in her chest. You do not have to think about that anymore. I am here, I am feeling-"

"I love you."

An incredibly biting silence fell over the room as your mind tried to process the words she had said, "Why now?" you asked the throbbing question in a whisper, looking at her quizzically. Meredith laughed briefly, a rather strenuous and confusing laugh that did not fit the situation at all, but seemed to be normal for her whenever she was nervous. "Because I am a complete idiot,"

The blonde kept running her hand over her face. She sighed, breathed heavily and only now realized how incredibly high her pulse really was. As she looked at you, looking into your empty, aching eyes, your pupils wide dilated from the painkillers, she was overcome with fear again. You, on the other hand, looked at her, waiting for a correct answer.

"I only realized my feelings for you when I almost lost you to death and that is completely stupid. I should have decided on you before, confessed my love before."

She spoke carefully and you gestured to the chair that was next to your bed. But Meredith would have preferred not to sit down for fear of having screwed everything up. "Please, sit down," you looked into her eyes, clearing your throat a little to emphasize your request. Her palms were sweating and she wanted to leave the room, it was becoming so incredibly stuffy and in her eyes it was starting to get smaller in her sight while her chest was tightening.

The blonde did not look in silence, did not know what to say. "You are good at helping people, but when it comes to things like love, you are a total failure," you spoke carefully and she looked at you in surprise. She smiled nervously, frightened by the ongoing conversation she was having.

"Do you know how much it hurts to see another man raving about the woman you have been in love with since the beginning of your residency? Do you know how much it hurts when the person you love does not know who she should vote because she can not handle her feelings?"

"No. No, I do not know how it feels like," Meredith stammered and looked down again. She wanted to say something useful, but no words came out of her mouth. Instead, she still had to digest the fact that she had hurt your feelings immensely. She looked up, looked into your eyes, which now had a bit more shine, and let out a loud sigh. The blonde wiped tears from her face with one hand and was about to stand up when she felt someone grab her wrist.

"Do not run away, you do not know what I am trying to tell you." you spoke to her gently. Your eyes sparkled like never before and you had a serious expression on your face. The woman in front of you looking at you questioningly. "Even though you hurt me in all the moments and broke my heart into pieces each time, a part of it never stopped loving you."

Meredith had fallen silent, as she had so often this hour. You loved her, and that was enough to put a smile on her face despite the stained tears on her cheeks. Without saying anything, she leaned in and placed her lips gently on yours.

You returned the kiss immediately, wrapping your arms around her torso while hers rested carefully on your chest as the two of you kissed. You both felt the tingle and sparks sprout before you pulled away from each other and looked into each other's eyes, grinning over both ears.

Her fingers reached over your hair, gently stroking over some strands. "I am sorry for hurting you so many times. But I will never do it again, Y/n l/n. I love you and I always will."

[tia-amorosa]

Hi…

I thought for a long time about whether I should write a personal post again or not. But they usually get lost, literally. That's probably because hardly anyone here knows me well. But I'm writing this post to let off some steam and talk about the situation that's really bothering me at the moment. (sorry in advance for the long text)

I'm in pain. Every day, 24/7. Why? About 4 years ago I had dental treatment with a somewhat unfriendly, older dentist. The treatment was carried out under anesthesia. One of my wisdom teeth and another were pulled. And it may not have been done correctly, which is why I've been suffering from nerve pain on the left side of my face ever since. The pain is so extreme on some days that you just want to throw yourself in front of a car... or jump off a bridge. I've already visited neurologists in recent years, but unfortunately they couldn't help me. After the treatment at this dentist, I had another problem with a canine tooth (top left), which was then pulled. This is also a so-called eye tooth because it is exactly in line with the eye. This time it was a different doctor who had found that there was a small cyst on this tooth. So it wasn't wrong to pull it out. But since then the pain has only gotten worse. I have pain when I look (when I make a lot of eye movements), and the pain goes all the way up to my head.

The sad thing about the whole thing is that the pain is made worse by the fact that I work a lot with my mouth. Because I am severely disabled, I cannot move my hands and work with a special computer mouse that I operate with my mouth. My mouth is therefore an important tool that I use to write, write my stories and operate the computer in general. And it makes me... sad and angry that I am currently going through a phase where I am not making as much progress with my work as I would like because this pain is tormenting me every day. I've tried all kinds of painkillers, but none of them have helped at all. And I don't want to drug myself with any heavy stuff.

I'm currently trying to find a dentist who will continue the treatment. A lot of things need to be done, restoration, etc. I've already found a practice and asked them about it. A video consultation was supposed to take place last week. I waited half an hour in front of the screen and the loading bar until someone answered. After that I disconnected the connection. I then wrote an email to this practice. There was no response... I called them today and they said they hadn't noticed my email. OK, that can happen... Then they gave me a new appointment for a telephone consultation, also today. That was supposed to take place at around 2:20 p.m. Do you think someone called me? NO!

They seem to have forgotten about me. I was so angry... I'll call them again tomorrow and ask what's wrong with them. Above all, it is a practice that is well suited to people with severe disabilities. And I actually rely on sensible advice and treatment. They haven't even seen me yet. And I'm having real problems with my teeth at the moment. One of them is open and I have to be careful not to chew on the wrong side because otherwise more of it will break off. This will only put more strain on my nerves, I'm really fed up!

I wish we could turn back time, then I wouldn't have gone to that horrible doctor who started this pain. I wish I had found a better doctor, but it's difficult to find the right doctors in my situation. I'm also suffering from a urinary tract infection at the moment. It really hurts. I suffer from it often, but the pain in my face is just much worse. I can only do something on the computer on days when the pain is bearable for me. Before the whole thing with the first dental operation, I was incredibly productive and got a lot done. Now I can't even manage half of it. As I said, it makes me sad and angry. That's why my story is progressing very slowly at the moment. Sorry about that.

I hope I haven't annoyed anyone with the long text, but I just had to get it off my chest so that people might understand me a little. I would also like to write more, but my concentration is exhausted for now. I'm passing the time with Netflix, so I don't have to do much or think about it.

Now I wish you a nice evening/day. Greetings and hugs from me to you.🥰

[whositmcwhatsit]

An Enjoyable Slide to Oblivion

Chapter 6: A Long Time Coming

A/N: A few people wanted to give Chancy and Elvis some happiness and I am a people pleaser, so enjoy! Beware smutty fluffiness and fluffy smuttiness ahead.

Word count: a trim 3252 words

Thank you as ever to my alpha reader, @thatbanditqueen for the comments and reactions! You save me from yelling into the void.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Charlie and Sandi were in the hallway of the hotel as they returned from the hospital that afternoon, and they smiled as they watched Elvis and Chancy approach.

“How’d it all go?” asked Charlie.

“It’s not broken,” Chancy told him. “At least that’s what the doctor said, but he let Elvis take the x-ray, so… I’m just glad I didn’t end up glowing in the dark.”

“That we know of, yet,” Elvis put in, grinning and yanking her into his side. He had been like a little kid at the hospital; the doctor had let him use the stethoscope and blood pressure cuff on her and then showed him how to prepare the plates for the x-ray machine. Once they had taken x-rays of her wrist, both the doctor and Elvis had stood and viewed them for a long time at the light box like Elvis was a consulting doctor, while Chancy sat and anxiously watched them confer.

Elvis had, again, ensured that she had painkillers prescribed and they had picked them up at a pharmacy on the way back to the hotel. She heard them rattling in his pocket as they stepped into the hotel room. The boys never let the maids in during short stays, but someone had made the bed while they were out. They walked through the door to Joe asking if Elvis needed anything else, but Elvis waved his hand behind him as he kicked the door shut, his eyes fixed on Chancy.

The singular focus in those suddenly half-lidded eyes was a little frightening, and she moved to the end of the bed, fiddling nervously with the bed covers as her cheeks started to burn. After tossing off his sunglasses onto a table, he walked slowly over, lifting her hand and biting on his lip as he examined it looking almost as bejewelled and bedazzled as his.

Very deliberately, his eyes fixed on hers, he bent down and pressed his lips to the garnet ring, his breath fluttering against her knuckles. Some strange sound came out of her throat, luckily quietly, as if she had been punched in the sternum, and she swallowed against her dry throat as his lips ever so slowly moved down her finger. Her whole awareness of her body became singularly focused on that finger. As he reached the tip, his lips parted and he slid it into his mouth. Her legs almost buckled as the length sank into the hot, wet warmth and she had to make two attempts to lock her knees. The fingers of her bandaged hand scrabbled at the bed cover as insurance against her weak legs, as his heavy-lidded eyes twinkled at her very obvious undoing.

“We should probably- probably have something to eat,” she murmured, having to stop halfway through to clear her drought-dry throat. “You need to keep your energy up for your show.”

“Don’t worry about my energy,” he murmured in the same tone, licking the length of her finger as he drew it back out to talk. He stepped closer so that she could feel the curves and sharp edges of his ornamental belt buckle pressing into her stomach. “I got plenty, don’t you worry about that.”

He carefully lowered her hand and then exhaled as he put his own hands on her shoulders and pushed down, making her sink slowly onto the end of the bed. There was no question in his movements or the laser intent of his face, and she wouldn’t have known how to object if she had even wanted to. The air felt thick and dry as if it would be too difficult to drink through a straw. Chancy’s body no longer wanted oxygen, it wanted him. Only him.

Slowly, he sank to his knees and she immediately leant forward and reached out a hand that he gently but stubbornly batted away, sending her a playfully irritated look at her concern. His brows drew together in boyish concentration as he unfastened the buttons of her printed silk blouse, the gems on his rings flickering in the lamplight. When he reached up and brushed the garment from her shoulders, his face opened up into pleasure the way that storm clouds drift away and leave blue sky. He made quick work of her bra, leaning forward so that his dark bangs were tickling the skin stretched over her breastbone. She could barely breathe until he drew back and looked up at her with such a self-satisfied smirk that she gasped in some air.

“You want me to stop, baby?” he asked softly. “You wanna stop and have breakfast instead?” Her head shaking, she shot forward and threw her arms around his shoulders, kissing those plump lips, or at least trying to because he was grinning so wide. “Okay, okay, I hear ya. Sit back now, sweetheart.”

He moved with her, his mouth closing on one of her nipples as she leant back and stroked his hair and tucked her fingers down the back of his collar. He pressed butterfly kisses across her skin, sending shivers and goosebumps radiating out from her chest as his hair and mouth tickled and nibbled all across her torso. Just as she was leaning back further, closing her eyes against all the sensations overwhelming her system, he plunged his face in between her arm and her side and his teeth closed on the flesh there and made her body spasm.

“No!” she laughed as he shook his head, growling like a damn wild animal and pinched her with his teeth. “Elvis, stop! I- Stop it!” He was laughing too as he drew back, light practically blazing from his face.

“There she is, my chatty baby,” he said, making the ‘yap, yap, yap’ motion with his hand, before wrapping his fingers around her neck and crushing her mouth with his.

It was as if the energy that he always crackled with was passing through his skin into her. Emboldened with it, she reached up and tugged at the shoulders of his jacket, ignoring the pang that went through her wrist. He released his hold on her, twisting his arms so that she could slide it down. She heard the heavy but muffled clump as it hit the floor. She took a moment to be grateful that he only ever half fastened his shirt, blindly slipping the buttons out of the holes even as her tongue slipped and danced against his.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute,” he mumbled against her mouth, the words jumbled and slurred together. He drew back, taking his warmth and that addictive fizzing energy that always passed just under his skin, and for a moment her stomach dropped, thinking she had ruined it, that it was over.

Kneeling, he leant back onto his heels and grunted as he fussed over his belt, finally getting it undone and tossing it off to the side. It hit something solid with a clang and they both snorted, before Elvis looked back down, yanking out his creased shirt tails from his pants and sending his shirt off into the opposite direction to his belt. Chancy’s heart started to race so fast she could almost feel the gallop of it through her bones. When he looked back up at her, his face was soft, almost shy, and there was a questioning look that made her stomach flip flop. She threw out her arms, beckoning him back, and he rushed to her, knocking her back onto the mattress.

Her eyes almost rolled back in her head at the feel of his bare skin against hers, the coarse hair scratching and scraping against her skin and her nipples, the curves of his stomach and chest pressing into her. She could feel him everywhere, just as she always had in her head and her heart since the moment they had met, but now the physical matched the mental and the emotional, he was with her, he was hers. She was his. She scored her nails lightly down his back, smiling against his mouth as she felt him shiver.

“Oh, you think that’s funny, do you?” he whispered, immediately angling his head so that he could nip and lick at the crook of her neck, making her writhe and giggle beneath him.

“No! No more! Please!” she panted, ts trickling from the corners of her eyes, even as she was tightening her hold of his shoulders, squeezing him against her. She barely had enough room to breathe, the pressure against her was deliciously intense, but there was no time for her to register that it was too much, because he was constantly shifting his hips against her, letting her feel the firm, prodding bulge of him between her legs. She could feel her muscles there clenching and aching, needing to be holding onto him. He let out a little moan as he pulled back from her and she refused to release her arms until he was practically dragging her up with him. She smiled cheekily as she dropped back onto the bed. She barely missed the weight, because his eyes stayed on her and pinned her in place as he fought to undo his pants. He paused, leaning over to grab hold of the hem of her short skirt. She had to hurriedly unfasten the button at the back of the waistband before he simply tore it off her.

“Get up, baby,” he instructed softly, voice almost gone. “Get on your knees there, that’s it.” She frowned questioningly as she did what she was told, awkwardly putting her hands on her hips as she knelt astride on the mattress in nothing but black lace panties. His face gave nothing away and she let her eyes trail down his chest, admiring the thicker hair there, following its trail down his soft belly and into the shadows of his opened fly. He hooked his thumbs in his waistband and tilted his head slightly, clenching his jaw. She loved that flickering line that always signaled some kind of feeling and moved forward now, but he fluttered his fingers at her and gave a sharp shake of his head, telling her to stay put.

“T-t-take them off, baby,” he instructed gently. “Real slow.” She swallowed and heaved in some air, before nodding and sliding her fingers underneath the arch of the leg hole. The seconds dripped by like hours as, holding her breath, she drew her underwear down, her eyes fixed on his, looking for instruction and guidance. His eyebrows drew together slightly at one point when she sped up and she halted again, before exhaling and beaming when she saw the smile gradually spreading across his pouty lips. After the last ungainly part when she had to crumple onto the bed and fish them off her feet, she raised back up onto her knees and faced him, feeling one eyebrow lift in a challenge.

He stumbled back a couple of steps as if he was a tourist in an art gallery pretending to take in the scope and magnitude of the art on display. She could feel the roar of heat as her blush spread from her hair line down to the toes. Just as she was beginning to feel a little silly, he hastily shoved his pants down his legs, his cock springing up against his belly, and gave a silly little shimmy with his legs to kick them off his feet, before diving onto the bed like a missile.

“Sergeant Presley, reporting for duty,” he mumbled into her hair, making her giggle as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

“Well, you’re definitely standing at attention,” she remarked, sucking his earlobe between her teeth.  

“Oh, I was always real good at that,” he replied, moaning slightly as he slipped his hand between her legs and his finger slid into her with ease. “Just about every time I thought of you, darlin’.” He glanced down in the direction of where his hand was exploring her, dragging in and out and rubbing the slippery skin and bundle of nerves.

“I don’t think we need to wait anymore,” she told him, cupping his cheek and drawing his face back to hers.

His face was always a masterpiece, an action shot directed by a genius, but now her eyes swam as she gazed at him, before refocusing on the expression on his face. He was staring at her intently, but he looked lost and awed in a way that went straight to her heart, making her chest feel as though it was being gripped by a giant invisible fist. She poked out her tongue to try and chase away the intensity and bring back his usual comforting mask of bravado and good humour. It didn’t work, if anything it deepened the fear in his eyes. It made her think of how he looked just before stepping on stage, that same fight or flight panic that cut him down to size.

As she opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, he grabbed her face and smashed his mouth into hers, almost cutting her lip against her teeth. She responded in a daze, entwining her arms around his back and somehow pressing harder against him. She felt like a watery ghost compared to him and the force of his emotions. He crushed her into the mattress and the power of his kisses bruised her mouth.

“You’re in this with me, right?” he asked quietly but oh so intently.

“Completely,” she nodded. She had been aiming for comforting, maybe even resolute, but somehow failed at both. She sounded just as terrified as he was. He swallowed, nodding back. 

Pulling back, he looked down to line himself up with her, before thrusting up as only he knew how and sending his hot, forceful length into her. She gasped as her body had no choice but to adjust and open itself up to him. He thrust only a couple more times, before he was gasping at her, almost begging her to hold still.

“Whoa, whoa, I need… gimme a minute.” She didn’t want to, could feel herself already beginning to flutter around him, and her mouth watered at the way their skin dragged and slid against each other. “Been a long time comin’, gotta do this right.”

“A long time coming?” she echoed with a raised eyebrow, starting to laugh.

“No, no, baby, please, keep still!” he pleaded, his palm pressing against her lips. His hand was so big that he covered her nostrils too and she almost had to wrestle it off to breathe, so distracted and focused was he on trying to calm himself down enough to continue.

Finally, he shifted his hips again and she moaned involuntarily as she felt him tremble above and inside her. She dug her toes into the mattress and lifted her hips to meet his, both of them finding an easy rhythm as they devoured each other with kisses and he plunged deeper inside.

When Chancy came, it took them both by surprise, since she had been teetering on that edge for so long. She fell before she was aware of it, her body gripped with the force of it, waves of aching, tingling pleasure rolling relentlessly over her and devouring Elvis too. She cried out his name, digging her fingers into the flesh of his shoulder and felt it ripple beneath her fingertips as he melted as well, mumbling things into her shoulder that she couldn’t make out. She felt him pulsing inside her as she slowly came back to her body, blinking away the flashing blobs of light that swam before her eyes and filled her starving lungs with noisy gasps of air.

There was a moment of complete calm, painless, weightless, silence as she stared up at the ceiling, feeling him breathing against her, the flutter of his eyelashes against her shoulder. Then he raised his head, revealing his flushed and sweaty face, his black hair plastered in wet tendrils against his forehead and cheeks.

Weirdly, the first thing he said was, ‘Okay.’ Almost like he was answering someone, a question or request that had been posed to him. Then he turned his face, beaming at her and she glowed in the light of it.

“You okay, my lil baby?” He slipped into his baby voice, bashful and silly, and she smiled indulgently, pushing back some of the hair from his face.

“That was amazing, honey,” she murmured. “Absolutely-“ She paused as some very loud grumbles came from where their torsos were still pressed together.

“That you or me?” he asked with a laugh.

“Me,” she admitted. “I’m starving!”

“Well, let’s order breakfast!” he cried, gesturing towards the phone.

“Why do I have to do it?” she moaned. “I’m comfortable.”

“I can’t do it,” he replied, shaking his head. “Ain’t in my job description. Plus, you plumb tuckered me out, woman. I wouldn’t make it.” As if in demonstration, he pulled himself out of her gingerly and moved towards the phone, collapsing on his front with a loud ‘oof!’

Rolling her eyes, she followed, climbing astride his lower back and bouncing a little to make him grunt and grab at her thighs. She grabbed the phone of the nightstand and made the call, nudging his sides with her knees each time he mumbled another instruction to her. He made her verify their serving size of pancakes and then asked them to triple it on one of the plates and, after a playful slap on her butt, got her to order a pound of bacon on the side.

“Really well done,” she said into the handset. “As in, charred to a crisp. In fact, if you think it’s too burnt, put it back in the pan for a few more minutes until you feel really sorry for it.”

After she hung up the phone, he reached back and grabbed her by the arm, pulling her down next to him on the bed and tucking her under his arm. Their faces were so close together on the pillow that his lips brushed against her when he spoke.

“You know, you knowing what I like saves a lot of time training you up,” he mused, half muffled by the pillow. “Means we have more time for other things.” She didn’t need the quirk of his eyebrow to know what he was referring to, but it made her clench to see it.

“Like me training you up?” she countered.

“I know what you like!” he retorted with a combative edge.

“Well, I don’t like being told in so many words that I’m well-trained,” she pointed out. “I’m not a dog or a servant.”

“No,” he agreed in a mumble, blindly patting her face and nearly poking her in the eye. “You’re my itty bitty chatty, noisy baby. And I am your sleepy, hungry little baby, right?” He lifted his face from the pillow slightly so that he could see her. She relented, exhaling a fond sigh and rubbing his cheekbone with her thumb.

“Right,” she agreed gently. His head dropped back onto the pillow with a satisfied sigh.

“Now, shhh lil baby. I gotta rest cos some cruel woman dragged me out of bed in the middle of the night and had her awful, wicked way with me.” She giggled, noting the way the corner of his mouth twitched up. They both drifted off while they waited for their breakfast to be delivered.

Taglist: @be-my-ally, @ellie-24, @from-memphis-with-love, @vintageshanny, @missmaywemeetagain, @richardslady121, @dkayfixates, @c-rosenn, @fallinlovewithurlove, @notstefaniepresley, @heartbrake-hotel, @freudianslumber, @bbrtt777,@18lkpeters, @lookingforrainbows, @prompted-wordsmith, @literally-just-elvis-fics, @eliseinmemphis, @fangirlaround

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[laurelnose]

good news! I don’t have a brain tumor 🥰

so basically what happened is

mid-december: i acquire Debilitating Migraine, 10 out of 10 worst pain I’ve felt in my entire fucking life Migraine, worse than the time I spent three weeks recovering from major surgery completely sober because I am inexplicably resistant to just about every class of painkiller I’ve ever tried Migraine. (I actually only rank the surgery experience about a 6 out of 10 on the pain scale.) we get the migraine down to Bad But Manageable by locating several new Christmas light strings that turned out to be flickering at speeds the human eye could not detect but my human brain certainly could and throwing them all out. I make a doctor’s appointment.

last week: I finally see my PCP. she prescribes me a triptan, which is an abortive med that is meant to stop migraine attacks. the triptan decreases the headache but does not remove it entirely. also, the damn thing keeps getting worse again. I try it three times over the week, which is the maximum number of times you’re supposed to take a triptan in a month. almost like you’re not supposed to have more than three headaches in a month or something?? weird. well, technically I haven’t had three. it’s all the Same Damn Headache.

this same day I also pick up a topiramate prescription, which is a preventative. i am advised i can start the topiramate even if i am not pain free. maybe if i give it a day or two it will help even if i am currently having an attack??

wednesday i see my PCP for followup and tell her i am still in pain. she offers to get me squeezed in to have an intramuscular toradol (heavy-duty NSAID) shot. this kicks in within 20 minutes and doubles my migraine pain. I was at 3-ish and now I am at 6 and unhappy about it.

i do not come back down from the level the toradol kicked me up to. i survive thursday by not doing very much of anything.

uh? holy shit? yeah, sure?

friday the pain becomes unbearable. back up to an 8, which isn’t the worst it’s been but it’s also Day Forty Fucking Two and I’m so tired. I leave work early & go to urgent care where they pump me fulla benadryl and dexamethasone. absolutely none of this is fun — the dexamethasone feels like a panic attack and the benadryl makes me dizzy and light-headed + makes it very hard to think of words? what the shit do people take benadryl recreationally for? but! the pain diminishes dramatically. after the IV’s done they get me in for a CT scan and are like hey! you don’t have a brain tumor! (I was not actually worried I had a brain tumor but it’s always nice to rule it out.) but you do have a sinus infection and a bunch of fluid buildup that’s probably triggering the migraine. (really? but I haven’t been congested?) yeah, no, it’s really deep in there. do you wanna do antibiotics and sudafed about that to clear up the fluid?

saturday morning the head pain is back but it’s mild and it feels LIKE A FUCKING SINUS HEADACHE and not a migraine anymore oh my god. Guess what kinds of headaches are fucking fixable and tend not to be intractable and unpreventable. It’s also like, a manageable amount of pain? It hurts but I feel okay?? I get thru work without taking my breaks in the dark with a heat pad? I look at headlights on the dark road coming home and am not immediately debilitated? 😭 Maybe in a week and a half when the antibiotics course is done I will actually just be Fine??

I really shoulda gone to urgent care back in December. Too bad I didn’t quite realize you could go to urgent care for migraines until I’d seen my PCP for the first time and that couldn’t happen earlier bc, well, appointments are hard to come by.

I’m wondering in hindsight if the triptan WAS kicking the migraine more effectively than I thought it was and i couldn’t tell because I had a sinus headache underneath (which kept bringing the migraine back). this also explains why I was getting decent results with Vick’s VapoRub LMAO. Like some people do swear by menthol for migraines but it was probably helping the congestion too.

anyways this is why I’ve been quiet. I will be quiet for a little while longer probably bc the sinus headache is still not fun but it is getting better. in fact i had to get up and eat breakfast to take my antibiotic but it is sunday and i don’t actually want to be awake so i think i’m going back to bed

i am never letting anyone talk me into taking another NSAID ever fucking again.

[ladykissingfish]

Idk really really disjointed thoughts but I was thinking about this on the bus in-between the stale cigarette smell and the man ranting about port-a-potties.

so what if Sasori and Deidara go on a mission and of course Sasori is all careful planning and strategizing but Deidara is Deidara, everything is boom bang flash.

and normally things somehow work out for them but not this time. this time, deidara gets horribly injured. bleeding out and nearer to death than he’s ever been.

it’s only by a miracle that Sasori gets them safely out of there and back to the hideout. and he takes him to Kakuzu to be treated because Sasori can’t treat him, he literally can’t. he can’t look at Dei, he can’t be in the same room as him.

and the others assume that it’s because Sasori is furious at Dei, not only for ruining the mission and endangering them, but in the process of saving Deidara, Sasori has to sacrifice some of his more important puppets.

but that’s not it at all.

Sasori could care less about those damn puppets.

but Deidara …

he had never seen Deidara that badly hurt before. and he can’t shake the feeling that it was his fault, because if he had stopped Deidara, if he had yelled or attempted to curb his recklessness even once, none of this would have happened.

eventually, very late at night, Kakuzu comes to him. and he says that Deidara is alive, he’s conscious again, and he’s asking for Sasori. at first Sasori brushes it off and says he’ll see him in the morning but Kakuzu says the kid won’t relax until he sees you.

so Sasori goes, and Kakuzu gives them privacy.

and Deidara is near tears. he’s speaking softly, he’s apologizing for what happened. he says he talked it over with Kakuzu to give half of his pay to Sasori for the next few months, until he can replace the puppets that Sasori lost. and he’s rambling on and on until finally Sasori holds up his hand, temporarily halting Deidara’s words.

and he stands there staring at Deidara in bed, more bandages than flesh, bruises everywhere.

“If you ever presume to make me worry like this again, you’ll no longer have to fear the enemy taking you out; I’ll end your life myself. Am I understood?”

and Deidara looks at him, thinking that surely he heard wrong. “worry”? Sasori didn’t worry about anything; Deidara doubted that word was even in his vocabulary. and even if it was, and he HAD said that —

“Why would you be worried about me? I mean, if I died —“

“I don’t want you to die!!”, Sasori snaps at him, his normally expressionless face a sea of emotions. “I - I —“, and here he pauses, because he can’t see the next words coming from his lips, but he forces himself: “I LOVE YOU, Deidara!”

and Deidara isn’t sure whether it’s the events of the day finally breaking him down, or his exhaustion, or some side effect of the heavy painkillers Kakuzu has him on, but … he starts to cry.

freely, uninhibited, without even bothering to lift his hands to his eyes, he starts bawling.

and Sasori is alarmed, to put it mildly. is Deidara in a great amount of pain? did … did Sasori’s words upset him that much? was —

“I … I love you too, you stupid idiot!” Deidara manages to get out through his tears, and Sasori is floored. no, for real, he has to sit down on the floor to process the confusing emotions going through his body.

Deidara can barely move but he manages to lean up and look over the side of the bed at the redheaded puppet muttering to himself on the floor.

“Hey! That was my first confession, hm! I know you’re an old man but I’m young, and this is a big deal for me! So get up and hug me or something!”

Sasori smiles and shakes his head; how in the world is he going to handle this annoying brat now?

well, no matter.

it’s a challenge, and there’s nothing that stimulates Sasori more than a good challenge.

he gets up, approaches Deidara, leans down and hugs him. awkwardly (he hasn’t hugged anybody in over twenty years) but gently. Deidara’s hair presses against Sasori’s cheek and nothing in the universe could possibly feel softer.

“Do I get a kiss, too?”

he says it playfully, a teasing lilt in his voice, clearly not at all expecting Sasori to act, but 

Sasori cups Deidara’s chin with his thumb and forefinger, moves his lips to the target and gives the blonde what he asked for.

“How was that? Good?”

Deidara nods, and his face is doing its best impression of Sasori’s hair shade.

“Ah, so THAT was all it took to shut you up? I wish I had known this sooner; I could have spared myself many a metaphorical headache.”

or something like that.

Next thought:

so Sasori is dating Deidara and he thinks it’s going good but he starts to worry about their lack of a sex life. he knows that Hidan and Kakuzu are “dating” and he definitely knows they have sex because Kakuzu’s room is next to Sasori’s and Hidan makes no effort to be quiet. and although they’re infinitely more discreet he knows that Itachi and Kisame are experiencing that, too.

but Sasori’s puppet body isn’t exactly equipped with the tool(s) for love-making. and he’s worried. Deidara has never brought it up to him but he knows he’s “friends” with Itachi and Hidan and the three talk all the time and he thinks what if he hears the others talk about it and feels cheated because we’re not having it? after all Deidara is a young, vibrant, healthy 19 year old male and he probably wants it, right?

so Sasori works day and night creating a “human No jutsu” for himself, one that he’ll be able to maintain for a few hours at a time, hopefully long enough to give Deidara a good time.

so he calls Deidara into his room and transforms for him. but. unexpected side effect of being fully human again: emotions. everything that he’s repressed/gotten rid of over the years immediately comes to the forefront of Sasori’s mind and. 

he starts crying.

and Deidara is more shocked than anything. it’s surreal enough to see Sasori as flesh and blood, but to see him cry? insanity.

so Deidara sits down with him and holds him, comforting him and soothing him. and eventually Sasori calms down enough to tell Deidara why he chose to inhabit this form.

and Deidara is flattered beyond belief.

but.

Deidara has no interest in sex.

he never did.

he explains that he likes when he and Sasori hug and kiss, and hold each other, but sex is not something he’s ever even considered. he says Sasori stimulates him mentally and emotionally, and for him, that’s more than enough.

and Sasori cries more.

the big crybaby spends the whole two hours of his human No jutsu just sitting on the floor bawling his eyes out.

but it’s happy tears.

or something like that.

I don’t know, I guess this is what’s living in my head today 🤷🏽‍♀️

[arrieebooks]

Precious Weapon (3)

Pairing : Lloyd Hansen x F!OC (Elle) x Sierra Six

Summary : Six follows her into her normal life. Things go a little wrong, people are still after her as the weapon. They're all forced to stay in her quaint house. One bed trope.

Warnings : Mentions of smut and her painkiller addiction but very vague. Elle being in Lloyd's mind 24/7. Gunshots. Injury. Blood. Gory details. Murder (self defense). Unrealistic healing.

Word count : 21.4k words.

Author's note : So sorry that this took me long. I wasn't really aiming to make this chapter really long, it just happened. But yeah, hope you enjoy it!

***

The smell of french toast and chamomile tea spreads all over the penthouse along with the sound of the sizzling raw bacon in the pan. 

She's making breakfast, carefully and quietly. 

It's extremely early. Around 7am.

After last night, she did sleep well but only for a few hours. 

She's awake now so she figured she'd make a nice breakfast for everyone after going to the traditional market to buy some ingredients earlier. 

She knows Six is still asleep and so is Lloyd. She can hear their calm heartbeats, still very much deep in their dreams. 

Six really helped her last night. And she wants to make up for it. He has no idea how much that meant for her. 

He practically got rid of her addiction, just like that. He had made her promise him to stop. And she immediately did. It meant a lot to her that he cared about her and wanted to help her. 

No one has ever treated her like that. 

She's selfless and caring towards everyone in her life — she always notices if something's wrong with them but no one has ever noticed if something was wrong with her. 

Because frankly, she has a lot of issues. Even before the incident. She has had trauma for years that she chooses to ignore instead of trying to heal it. 

She can physically heal quickly but never mentally. She's damaged. Fucked up. But she's good at hiding it well, that's why no one has ever noticed. She's so well kept together. Always lighting up the room, too.

"Shit," she curses out loud as her hand touches the hot pan to check if the bacon's cooked already. "Idiot." she mutters to herself, rubbing her burned hand on her shirt before it quickly heals back again. 

Elle gently scoffs at that. It gets annoying sometimes, because it's a reminder of what she is. She's never asked for this. But yet she has had to learn to live with it, carry it for the rest of her life. All she ever wanted was a normal life with loving parents and a house that's filled with happy memories in it. 

But she knows that she's never going to get that. Or even a normal future with a husband and kids in it. Technically, she can never get pregnant due to the experiment as well. It altered her entire body along with all of her cells. 

Her future and her life was all ruined by science. 

Lloyd steps out of his bedroom and she doesn't even hear his heavy footsteps because she's lost in her thoughts as he yawns loudly while walking in the hallway.

He stalks to the kitchen where he smelled food. "Morning. What are you cooking?" he asks her, not looking at her yet instead his eyes are focused on the pan. 

Her eyes darted to him. He's wearing a black, loose shirt with grey sweatpants. His hair is messy and all ruffled up from sleep, this is the first time she's seeing it like that. He's usually so neat. 

What's with men and grey sweatpants?

Elle smiles widely. "Morning. Bacons, french toast and eggs. How'd you like your eggs?" she asks. 

Lloyd frowns confusedly. "Thought you didn't want to cook for us. You said that you weren't a housewife, last night " he reminds her. 

She snorts. "Last night was a different me. I'm feeling…happier this morning." 

He finally meets her eyes and squints his. "Hm. Why? No one just gets happy overnight." 

Elle casually shrugs her shoulders. "I just am. Anyway, how'd you like your eggs or do you not want my cooking?" she asks again.

"Well, is there a restaurant nearby that serves American breakfast?" he asks.

Elle shakes her head. "Nope. Probably in the center of Jakarta, though. But that's like two hours from here. Plus, you wouldn't be able to enjoy your food peacefully with the local girls staring at you like a piece of meat." she remarks.

Lloyd lets out a soft chuckle. "Agreeable." he says. "Well, I prefer my eggs scrambled, Sunshine." 

Her lips tug into a smile. "Coming right up." 

He nods, stepping away from her to give her space as he walks to kitchen island, hopping on one of the chairs while he watches her crack some eggs into the pan. 

"You don't have to cook us breakfast every morning, you know. This isn't a…" Lloyd tries to find the right words but couldn't find them. "This is just a work partnership, we're not a big happy family." 

Elle sighs. "If you wanted this to be more professional, then I could've just stayed in my house and not live here with the both of you." she says, scrambling the eggs on the pan carefully. 

He scoffs softly. "Yeah, I think Six would beg to differ. He seems to like you. And that's saying a lot for the infamous Sierra Six." Lloyd remarks.

She shakes her head. "We're just a lot alike. We're close but not too close to interfere on missions. He and I would still be focused on the main priority. In fact, I think we'd work well together on missions." 

"You haven't seen how he…fights." He grimaces a little while saying it. He remembers seeing one of his works a while ago.

He wanted to use the word kill. But he doesn't want to scare her, yet. Not the time yet. She doesn't even know what she's getting herself into. Lloyd doesn't even know where to begin. He needs to go slow on her and he knows that but he has a feeling that she could take it. 

She could take it. Or not. 

"I'm not scared, Lloyd. By either of you. I'm all in." she states, in a forced tone. 

Lloyd scoffs loudly, making her turn around to him. 

"You've seen nothing yet, sweetheart." 

She rolls her eyes, turning off the stove behind her with her mind. "Then, test me." 

He frowns. "What, like a fake mission?" 

"No, a real one. But I'll be just behind you. Both of you. I won't flinch." she responds.

"No. You need training first. At least a week of it. We need to see how fast your reflexes are and other shit. Run a few tests on you." Lloyd says, dryly.

Elle nods. "Right. Then, after that?" 

"We don't have time for fake missions or whatever you want. It's not how this works." he sternly says.

She steps closer until she softly hits the counter and his gaze catches up to hers. They'd be closer if it wasn't for the kitchen island between them.

"Teach me. I'll be a good student." she softly says with her eyes pleading at him. 

Oh. 

That shouldn't make him feel some sort of way but somehow, it does. It's just the way she says it so innocently. She's so naive. A small part of him wants to ruin her and her innocence. He'll take her and accept how she is — innocent or ruined. 

Lloyd hums casually in response, completely ignoring the bulge in his pants that is starting to grow. "I need to shower."

Elle tilts her head to the side in confusion. "What about your breakfast? It's all ready." 

He hops off the chair, avoiding eye contact. "I think it's better if we wait for Six to wake up first."

"You just said you don't want us to be a big happy family and having breakfast all together is the complete opposite." she remarks. 

"No. I just don't want us to eat breakfast alone." Lloyd flatly says, walking away as she scoffs.

"Right. Because it'd be so unprofessional." 

"Yeah. You're right, Sunshine." He flashes her a smug grin, his teeth all white and shiny as the morning sun spilling from the window highlights his blue eyes and she has to stop herself from starting to find him just a little attractive. 

Stop. He's not. 

It was in vain to keep telling herself that he wasn't when two days ago, they were all over each other in that bar. He had his fingers inside her. His mouth was on hers. She let him do all that because he was really that fucking sexy. She couldn't deny it earlier and especially now.

She scoffs again before he walks away from her and she hears his footsteps slowly retreat from the hallway to his bedroom and then the sound of his door closed gently. 

Elle continues on cooking, focusing on Six's sounds in his room instead. She hears him getting up from the bed and then his heavy footsteps walking toward somewhere. 

She smiles at that. She's been waiting for him to be awake but didn't want to wake him up either. 

She heard his shower turn on and then she had to busy herself making herself eggs, trying to not visualize him getting naked even though she could clearly hear the noises of him taking off his clothes.

It was dark last night. She didn't exactly see anything clearly but she could hear and feel everything in detail. She has heightened senses, of course she could feel anything without even having to see.

Which makes her good for combat. Though, she could sense that Lloyd was a little skeptical of her. He must think that she's not powerful or strong enough to do this shit or maybe it's because of her age. Not that he even knows her age yet anyway but he has assumed at least how old she is. 

The problem is she looks too young for her real age. She looks 19 or 20 at best. She looks ten years younger than she really is. No one has ever guessed her age right. 

Everyone in her town knows her as twenty four years old. And her birth certificate says it too. All of her friends who went to the same school as her are the same age. 

She spent five years of her childhood inside that lab, being a test subject. And for those five years, she didn't exist to the world. She was just a number. When she came out, she looked the exact same when she left. She barely remembers what happened there, which she's thankful for. 

I was a fucking lab rat. 

"Morning. Looks like someone slept well last night." Six appears in the kitchen, examining her. 

She's wearing pink cotton shorts and a chill white tee shirt with pink printed writing on it. It's her house clothes. Lloyd's people brought literally all of her clothes last night. 

Elle startles, turning to him. "Hey, uh, that was a quick shower." She smiles shyly. 

He looks at her confused and a light chuckle leaves his lips. "You heard me." 

She's blushing now. Her cheeks are red. Her lips are stretching into a smile that shows her cute little dimples. "No, I was making eggs. But yeah, kind of." she admits. 

Six's lips curve into a genuine, soft smile and steps closer, pulling her by the waist as she giggles softly while he watches her, amused and their bodies pressed against each other. Their eyes stare into each other as he's communicating to her with his eyes and she doesn't even have to read his mind to know what he's saying to her. 

I don't mind. You could hear me shower anytime you want. I mean it. 

"You're cute when you're flustered." Six quietly remarks.

"I can't be flustered all the time." she replies almost immediately.

"We're not on a mission, Elle," he reminds her. 

She nods. "I know. But it's just that, soon enough, we will be. Lloyd just told me I'd need a week of training and then after that, missions." 

"Does the training start today?" he asks.

"This afternoon, maybe. It's a Monday today and I've got a few errands to run. I need to go back to my house, feed my dogs, clean the house and go meet my best friend for lunch. Oh also, we need to get some groceries for the fridge." Elle tells him in detail. 

Six frowns and then nods. "Sorry. I forgot that you had a…" he trails off, not wanting to say the wrong words. 

She raises her brows. "A life? Yeah, but I know I have to ditch it somehow when we'll be on missions. But I'll figure it out." she says. 

He tucks a hair under her ear. "You don't have to ditch it, Elle. It's good that you have a life here and I don't want you to throw it all away just because of us." 

"I wanted this. You know I did." she says.

"Yeah, but—" Six gets cut off as they hear Lloyd's door open and she immediately retreats from him, going back to cooking.

Six steps away from her and walks to the kitchen island, taking a seat there. 

Lloyd walks to them and sees Six. "Hey, finally you're awake. Now we could all have breakfast and then talk about our plans. First, I need to renovate that gym. It's old and fucking dusty. I'm going to buy some new equipment for it. Actually, a lot of them. We're going to use that room for training." he says while taking a seat beside him.

Elle nods, turning to them with three empty plates in her hands as she places them down on the counter. "So, where's the gym? Downstairs?" she questions.

He frowns. "No, of course not. Why would I ever share a gym with anyone? It's right here. Back there, behind us. There's a narrow hallway and those are all the extra rooms we got." Lloyd answers. 

She nods again, taking two pans of the breakfast as she pours it on each of their plates. Scrambled eggs, bacon and french toast all in one huge plate. It's all so greasy and oily but it's a classic American breakfast. It's authentic. Her father taught her how to make this when she turned 14 and when she learnt how to cook for the first time. 

"This is a classic, Elle. Americans love their greasy fuckin' breakfast." Her dad tells her with his thick American accent while sitting in front of the food they both just made together as she smiles and giggles happily, nodding her head at him.

She brushes off the flashback in her head. She hates him. She never hated him back then because he was her loving dad. The same loving dad who would cook her good food in the morning and then proceed to do experiments on her body at night with her mom. She was never their daughter. She was just a science experiment for them.

"Elle? You okay?" Lloyd asks, furrowing his brows as he sees her blanked out and Six glances at her too.

Her eyes are looking down on the floor with both of the pans still in her hands, her mind clearly being somewhere else but here.

She looks back at him. "Yeah. I'm good. So, you're gonna do some shopping, then? I have a few errands to run today too." She quickly places the pans down back on the stove and walks to them. 

He frowns. "What errands?"

"Some errands." she responds, taking a seat next to Six on the kitchen island.

"Elle. What kind of errands?" Lloyd asks again in a warning tone. 

She rolls her eyes. "I need to go to my house and meet my best friend. I usually meet her every day for lunch in the hospital she's working in. Plus, I had my phone on silent yesterday and today so she must've been worried about me now. I don't want her to go and file a missing persons case or something. Not that it'd work in this country."

Six chuckles quietly. Lloyd snorts. She is right. They know how fucked up the system is here.

"Fine. But go with Six. Can't let anything happen to our weapon." Lloyd orders sternly.

Elle nods, taking a bite of her french toast as she hums in approval. "Yeah, okay." she mumbles softly.

Six nods too, slightly content that he's going to be spending the day with her and not shopping with Lloyd all day. He already knows it's going to be a nightmare with him. He's going to complain about every single inch of the store when things don't go his way and it usually doesn't. He'd rather not deal with that today. 

She smiles, excited to show him her normal, boring life. She knows he's not used to normal or mundane. That's why she wants to show him that it's still possible to have one, outside of everything — the CIA, all the murder, torture and pain in his life. 

"Well today's going to be eventful. Update me if anything goes wrong." Lloyd declares and both of them nod in sync again. 

"Sure thing." she casually says, taking a bite of her bacon. 

Nothing's going to go wrong. 

***

The auto door slides open as Six and Elle enter the building of the hospital, walking side-by-side each other through the lobby.

It's around lunchtime. They're dressed decent already. People are staring like crazy. The hot weather is sweating Six but she's used to it already. 

She's wearing denim jeans and a pink top with packed food in her hands that she stopped by for earlier. It's her best friend's favorite food. 

"You know, it was probably not a good idea to bring you here. They're all staring." Elle casually points out, bitterly. 

She has always hated the fact that the locals in this city have always treated white people like they're famous people. They tend to glorify them a lot to the point where she's just annoyed by it because they bother them a lot. 

And especially, she hates the girls here who hunt white guys like they're a fucking animal to be preyed on. They're just normal human beings. 

Six chuckles. "It's fine. I'm fine with it. It's normal to stare." he says, leaning to her ear.

Elle scoffs. "No, it's not. Not when they're literally gawking at you like you're fucking Ryan Gosling or something. You're just a white dude, minding your own business. They act like it's such a big deal or something." she remarks. 

Six quietly snorts, following her steps as she turns left to the elevators and presses a button to go upstairs and they stand in front of it, waiting for it to open. 

"It sounds like you're sick of it." he noticed.

Elle glances at him and nods. "I am. I've had to deal with it my whole life. With my dad and me." 

He frowns. "What about others? Did you have other white people in your life? I mean, Americans or others. I don't know, I've seen a lot back in that bar." Six comments.

She shakes her head. "No, I've never met anyone American or like me. I was surprised when I saw that many foreigners in one place, in that bar. I guess because that was just a different part of Jakarta. And we're in the West now, where not a lot of them hang out here." Elle tells him, as a matter of fact. 

He nods. "So, Lloyd and I are like what, the first white guys you've ever been with?" Six tries to make a joke.

She snickers. "Yeah, I guess. I've always wished to be with someone like me or at least be friends with them. There was no one like you around my town." she replies.

"So, you have a type? For white guys?" Six asks. He's pushing his luck now. 

Elle shakes her head, chuckling. "No. Well, yeah, maybe. I mean, my whole life, I've always been with local guys. And they're so nice and polite but sometimes too nice and too polite. If you know what I mean." 

He looks at her and she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively as he starts to realize what she means by that. 

Oh. 

His lips twitch, trying to hide a smile. "Right. I do now. So, they're not too rough enough for you?" he asks, forwardly and plainly in a serious tone that's laced with a teasing one. 

She widens her eyes and smiles, slapping his arm lightly. Don't want to be too rough on him. 

"Hey! We're in a hospital, for fuck's sakes." Elle reminds him, looking around at other people staring at them but not because they overheard, they're still staring because of him. 

Six laughs quietly. "Okay, okay. I was just, you know, curious. I want to know what you like. What you prefer." he admits.

She frowns. "You know what I like already, Six." she teases, his name rolls out in her tongue in a playful tone and he has to contain himself from blushing too hard. 

One of the elevators finally opens and other people step out of it as Six and Elle wait for them to all get out until they enter together.

It closes and it's just them. She presses a button to go to the third floor and a silence rests between them. 

After a few seconds of the elevator going up, it finally dings and opens itself to the third floor. 

"Okay, maybe you should just wait in the seats first. I don't want her to think that I'm…" Elle trails off as they step out of the elevator together.

It's a floor of laboratories and personal rooms for the medical scientists and the biologists in this hospital and her best friend is one of the best and youngest biologists here. She wants to help people just like Elle and she's just as smart as her. That's probably why they quickly became best friends in the first grade. They bonded through science and all the other stuff that people their age didn't understand yet or didn't want to learn yet at that time. 

Six frowns, stopping as she turns to him and they're now standing in front of the elevators. "That you're what?" he asks.

She sighs. "Well, she saw your face in church yesterday and she knew that I was going to show you around the city. And if she saw you here today, she would think that I came home with you and slept with you since I wasn't answering her texts from yesterday." Elle explains. 

He frowns confusedly. "Why does it matter what she thinks? What I mean is, if she does think we did sleep together, so what?" Six asks, cautiously.

Elle shakes her head, lowering her head to talk to him quieter. "Because it's not normal. We don't do that here, in this country. It's taboo. Even when I fuck someone local here, I never tell her. Except if it's a long term boyfriend, then she's fine with it. But this would look like a one night stand. You and I." She waves her hand between them. 

Six pulls his eyebrows together. "Is this about your religion, too? You guys go to the same church together so…" he questions.

She nods, biting her lips anxiously as she looks him in the eyes. "Sort of. It's a sin to have sex before marriage but I'm not even planning to marry, like ever, so it shouldn't even apply to me. Right?" 

He breaks into a chuckle, nodding his head. "Why not? I would think that a girl like you would want to marry someday." 

Elle chuckles, shaking her head playfully. "A girl like me? What's that supposed to mean?" she asks, teasingly.

"You know what I mean. You live in a small town, have friends everywhere, go to church every Sunday—what I mean is you live a normal life. You're a normal girl. So I just assumed that you'd want something normal in your future." Six explains.

She snorts. "I'm anything but normal. I committed mass—well yeah, that was an accident. But it doesn't matter. I can't have that kind of future anymore. I can't even…have kids. And I doubt that any guy here would want to marry me knowing that I can't give them what they want. It's just like that in this country. The husband wants kids and so do their parents and grandparents. And if I can't give that to them, I'm a horrible wife and a failure." 

Six steps closer to her, crowding her space as she looks around her and there's no one else here except for securities in front of the laboratories but they're all busy on their phones. It's quiet here. It's all white. There's a TV playing in the lobby where there's rows of empty seats. It's lunchtime. Everyone's out for lunch, not here. It's just them. 

He frowns, his hands resting on her arms as her eyes look up at him. "Fuck that, Elle. You don't deserve that. You do deserve a normal future that you want. You just haven't found the right person yet but it's definitely none of the local guys." he snaps. 

This city doesn't deserve her. 

"Then who deserves me, Six?" Elle softly asks in a weak tone. 

Six's eyes darted to her brown ones and then down to her lips. Those lips. He remembered how soft her lips were last night. She was being rough and aggressive in kissing him but he's looking forward to seeing her more relaxed and gentle. Just not the time yet. He knows that. He wants her — craves for her lips, her touch, all of her. But he can't have her now. He has to wait. He's fine with that.

He swallows and blinks at her. He doesn't have an answer for her. He knows that it's definitely not him. Or even Lloyd. They both do not deserve her. They know that. 

A door opens from somewhere behind them that's far away, breaking the silence in the floor but they're still looking at each other to even bother to look behind them.

"Elle! Oh my gosh! You're alive!" Amelia's voice is heard from behind them as the girl exclaims out loud while running towards them.

Elle looks behind her and smiles. "Amelia. Hey, I'm so sorry. I brought you lunch. It's your favorite. From that Indonesian restaurant that you like so much." 

Amelia stands in front of her and looks at Six, frowning at Elle. "Oh hi, Elle's friend, Jack. Did you kidnap her yesterday? I didn't hear from her all day yesterday. I was worried that—" 

Elle cuts her off. "I'm fine, Amelia. I just forgot to bring a charger yesterday. I haven't been to the house yet." she tells her, calmly.

She looks back at her. "What? You haven't been to your house? Then where did you sleep last night?" Amelia asks.

"Uh, I stayed with them. We got carried away, being around the city all day and then it got dark, it was too late to go home anyway so I stayed in with them. They have this cool penthouse nearby." Elle explains and she gives her a skeptical and judgmental look.

She hates that look.

Elle chuckles. "Relax, we had separate bedrooms! I told you it was a penthouse, it's really big. Very big. And it was my idea to stay in. I was just grateful that they let me stay in." she adds. 

Amelia squints her eyes at her. "Hm. So where's the other one? The Lloyd one. The fancy looking one." 

Six looks at her. "He's gone out to go shopping. For supplies and equipment. We're moving here. To this city." he simply responds with a thin line on his lips.

He usually doesn't talk to other people a lot except for Lloyd and Elle since they're the only closest to him now. And that's still a new thing for him. He only responds to orders and asks questions about missions only when necessary. Sometimes he talks to Fitzroy, the guy who recruited him and treats him like a son. But they rarely talk because they're both busy, travelling across the world for work. They only talk when they have free time or if it's for a favor. 

He knew that Elle would want him to at least say something to her best friend. He could sense it from her. At this point, they just say things through their mind and they both already understood what the other wants. 

Amelia nods at him. "Oh, you're moving here? For work?" she asks him, moving past Elle to get closer to him, to inspect him closer. 

Six nods. "Yes. Work." he answers and she squints her eyes at him again, trying to investigate him more. 

Elle sensed that as she went to stand in front of him, blocking him out of her view. "Amelia, you must be starving. It's lunchtime, right? Let's go have lunch as usual. In your lab. Come on, I brought you your favorite lunch." She lifts the packed food up to show Amelia.

She sighs, looking back at her. "Yeah, I heard you, the first time. Alright, let's go. But he can wait out here. Right?" 

Six's lips form a thin line, glancing at Elle with an "it's okay" look and giving her an assuring nod as he steps back. "Yes. I'll wait here." he says, walking to the row of seats and he takes a seat there, watching the news on the TV.

Amelia gives him another skeptical look before darting her eyes to Elle again. "Do you have somewhere else to be after this?" she asks her.

Elle nods. "Yeah. We're going to my house. Actually, there's something I want to tell you. Let's go." she says, dragging her best friend to her lab right in the corner.

***

Amelia's lab is pretty capacious. It's all white, too. There's tons of her science tools hanging everywhere. On the table, on her chair, and even some on the floor.

Amelia likes to work messy. Elle prefers to work neatly. That's their only difference.

Elle sighs. "It's messy again. I thought you cleaned it last Friday." 

Amelia walks over to one of her not-that-messy work tables that has her laptop and notebooks as she scoots them over to make the table spacious enough for them to eat lunch. 

"Well, I have a deadline tonight. I need to submit my latest research about the stem cell treatment I told you about. And I'm nowhere to be done." Amelia rambles as they both take a seat next to each other.

Elle unpacks the packed food and hands it to her. "I can help you. I know about that. I learned it last week." she casually says.

She nods, taking a bite of her own food. "Yeah, in that lab that burned down. Those scientists taught you a lot of things, Elle. But they were also very bad people and not to be trusted."

She gulps, remembering how close she was to "those scientists" in that lab, how they taught her things that she's always wanted to learn about science. "That didn't mean they were stupid scientists." Elle defends, quietly.

You killed them and you're defending them now? Hypocrite, Elle. 

Amelia looks over to her with a weird look and rolls her eyes. "Whatever, it's fine. I don't need your help, Elle. This is my job that I was paid to do. You've helped me so many times already. I almost feel like I'm not doing my job sometimes." she rants.

Elle shakes her head. "No, that's not true. You do your job well, Amelia. You're a genius biologist. But you're underpaid and overworked in this hospital." she reminds her.

She shrugs. "This is the best private hospital in this town. I'm just grateful to be here. Not all of us could have rich parents, you know." Amelia didn't mean it as an insult but sometimes Elle forgets that she's privileged. She doesn't need to work a day in her life, everything has been provided for her. 

But, all that she has now came with a price that she had to pay with childhood trauma and PTSD and fucked-up parents. 

Elle frowns at her. "What? My parents aren't rich. They just got enough money because of my experiment that they agreed on in exchange for a huge sum of money that's still lasting until now. Amelia, you know I didn't mean it that way. I just think that you should probably find another hospital to work in." 

Amelia shakes her head. "There are no other hospitals, Elle. I like this one, okay? Now, let's just change the topic."

She nods, brushing it off. "I agree. Okay, I had something to tell you earlier. I'm going to be moving to an apartment. I got a new job." Elle breaks the news. 

She'd been thinking about it the whole trip here earlier. She had to make an excuse when she'll be living in the penthouse with Lloyd and Six and then there's the missions that she has to do later. 

Amelia widens her eyes. "Oh. Well that was completely insensitive of me to tell you that you're privileged when—wait. What kind of job?" she stops herself to ask.

"There's this American organization that knows about my abilities and they need my expertise to help the city. But I'm not supposed to tell anyone about it. It's classified and confidential. But don't worry, I'll be nearby. The apartment is close." Elle replies.

That's it. She doesn't need to say a lot of lies anymore. Just this. She hates lying. But this is for Amelia's own good. She can't know about the CIA or even be involved in it. 

Amelia frowns. "American? Why are they interested in Jakarta's problems then? How does it benefit them and—wait a minute. Is Jack and Lloyd somehow in this organization as well? Did they rope you in? Or tried to force you to work—"

Elle cuts her off. "Woah, relax. No one forced me. I wanted it. I want to help people in this city, I mean it." Now that's the truth. "But yeah, they're with me now."

She stands up from her seat abruptly. "I knew it! Did you sleep with them, Elle? Is that how they convinced you to take the job? You're better than this, you don't have one night stands." Amelia lectures her.

Elle looks up at her and scowls as she rises from her seat too. "Absolutely not. I want this job because I want to help people. They didn't convince me to do anything. Also, even if I did sleep with them, so what? It's my life, my sex life."

"Because that's not you. You're not that kind of girl to just sleep with whoever she sees and have meaningless sex." Amelia assumes. She's wrong.

She crosses her arms against her chest, her eyebrows creasing. "And how exactly would you know what kind of girl I am? I never tell you about my sex life, Amelia. I hide some things that I know it's better to keep hidden." 

Amelia frowns deeper. "What does that mean? You kept things from me? What kind of things?" she questions.

Elle exhales. "Just some things that I know you'd judge me for if I told you." 

"What things, Elle?" she repeats again.

"I fuck, Amelia. More than you know. But don't worry, none of it is interesting enough to tell you about it. It's all just plain vanilla sex. Guys here are very gentle. Too gentle." Elle tells her in a casual tone.

Amelia grimaces. "Oh my god. You've been lying to me this whole time."

Elle rolls her eyes. "Oh, don't be so dramatic. It's just sex." 

"It's a sin." she says, still grimacing.

That provoked anger inside of her. She doesn't know shit and she just judges however she wants. She is a saint, but she always expects everyone to be the same and Elle is anything but a saint. 

"And what about the sins that were done to me? It was all just a coping mechanism, Amelia. My trauma. I had to deal with it all by myself, my whole life. When I was eighteen, my parents immediately left me to move to fucking Bali and live peacefully, unburdened of their sins towards their own daughter." Elle snaps. She's had enough.

Amelia has no idea about her childhood trauma, like at all. Her parents strictly told her not to tell anyone and it'll just become complicated for her too.

Her face turns shocked. "I—I didn't know that. You never told me…" 

"Yeah, I never told anyone." Elle lowers her voice.

Amelia steps closer without saying anything, her face still in shock as she pulls Elle into a hug. Her arms tightly embrace her and she hugs her best friend back. 

"I'm so sorry. I've been your best friend for more than a decade and I didn't even know that…" Amelia whispers against her shoulder, shaking her head.

Elle pats her hair, "It's okay, it's okay. I'm fine now." she murmurs softly. She comforts people a lot. It's her specialty.

Their hug is cut short with a phone buzzing loudly on Amelia's table as she immediately grabs her phone and checks who it is. 

"Oh, shit. I need to take this. It's my boss. She's probably going to ask me to get my job done faster than the deadline." Amelia tells her, anxiously. 

Elle gives her an assuring nod, taking her purse from the chair. "Okay, good luck. I'm gonna go have lunch with Si—Jack. With Jack." she says with a nod as she begins to turn around and walk to the door. 

Amelia chuckles. "See you later. I'll call you." she tells her, putting the phone onto her ear before Elle exits her lab. 

She closes the door behind her with a sigh. She feels relieved that she could finally tell her best friend about what happened throughout her whole childhood. That she doesn't have to smile and lie anymore. She could just tell the truth, what she always wanted to do since she was little. 

Her eyes immediately searched for Six. She needs him. More than she thought she did. He's my comfort. 

He's still sitting still on one of the seats, his eyes focused on the TV hanging on the wall, showing the news about what's happening in the city today. He's taking notes in his head. He needs to get to know this city if he'll be living here for months.

"Six? Can we go?" Elle softly asks from behind and he quickly turns around in a blink of an eye, standing up from his seat immediately and walks over to her.

He sees her face frowning slightly first and walks even faster towards her as he gently holds her face between his hands.

"Hey, what happened there?" Six asks.

She shakes her head. "I just told her the truth. About my childhood trauma that I've  been trying to hide my whole life. And now it's all out." 

He slowly nods, fully understanding what she means by that and not going to ask any further questions because they're not there yet — they haven't gotten to the stage where she's confessing her past to him yet and he has a lot to say for his own past too since they've both been through the same childhood abuse.

"Do you wanna get out of here now?" Six softly asks.

Elle nods immediately. "Yeah. I'd like that. Let's have lunch. There's a nice restaurant near my house. If you want?" 

His lips tug into a small smile, his hands leaving her face. "Sure. Lead the way," 

She smiles at him, taking his hand in hers as they walk to the elevator.

***

Lloyd's day was fucking tiring and it's only been half a day. 

He'd been through a huge mall and scoured all the stores here just to find the right stuff he wanted. 

Apparently, malls are enormous in this city and almost everything you need is inside there. There are no separate stores in the streets, just malls and malls everywhere.

And not to mention, the local girls have been staring at him wherever he went. Even the workers in the malls. He was so sick of it. It wasn't fun anymore, it was getting annoying.

He should've asked or dragged Elle to go with him. She would know what to do and at least, she could calm him. She knew the language and getting anything would've been easier. And, he could've avoided the girls trying to flirt with him if she was with him because they would just assume that they're a couple and they wouldn't even try to bother him.

Now he regrets letting her go with Six. They're probably having lunch together now because it's lunchtime. He's being a little bitter about it.

Lloyd got all the stuff he needed and is now sitting in an outdoor restaurant of the mall with his bodyguards sitting at another table, keeping a safe distance. They're not his actual bodyguards, they're the CIA field agents but they answer to Lloyd now. He's their boss. So they follow him wherever he goes now. 

He had his lunch already. He's full. But his fingers are itching to call Elle or Six to ask them where they are now. He wants to see them. He needs to see her, most importantly. He needs to see if she's safe, as usual. It's his damn job now, apparently.

And after a tiring day, he needs something to relieve it. Not her, of course. Definitely not her. He needs to blow off some steam. Fuck something or someone. But Elle is off limits for him. He can't touch her that way anymore. He made a promise to himself. 

After seeing so many girls thirsting over him today while he was just walking around the mall, it made him realize how easy the girls are in this city. Once they see a white man, they immediately fold. It's funny to him, actually. They're all so fucking desperate for his dick, it almost turns him off a little bit. 

While he doesn't like girls playing too hard to get and prefers the easy ones that would give in easily — he likes the forbidden fruit type more. Like Elle. Something he knows he can't touch but it's so tempting, which turns him on even more. She turns him on every fucking time and he can't even help it. Can't even control his dick to not feel that way. Just like this morning, he had to take care of his own business by himself in the shower earlier.

I can't have her. 

He keeps saying the same thing over and over again until he wants to bang his head against the wall to stop his own thoughts. And that's why he needs to fuck, to bury his dick in someone and not think about Elle for a while. He needs her out of his head. 

Finally, Lloyd decides to get out of this ample chair as he places more than enough cash on the table and begins to walk away from the restaurant while his agents follow him from behind, carrying his shopping bags as well. 

There are three agents that he brought from the penthouse. And they gladly listened to Lloyd without any complaints because they know who he is and what he's capable of. 

They're in a mall where there's a park outside of it and he's walking through it now. It's filled with kids running around, people bringing their dogs and puppies, elderly people walking around really slowly. There's a small pond with big fishes inside it. Elle would love it here, he thinks.

She likes people's places, where it's not quiet but also not too crowded, just with the right amount of people. She likes seeing little kids, too. She loves to imagine things she knows she can't have. She likes to see them laugh and play around, being so happy because she never had that happy childhood. 

He's thinking about her now, how he's going to have to live with her for the next few months without trying to kill her or fuck her. That's going to be a hard task for him.

As he's thinking of her, his phone rings in his pocket and he already knows who it is. He knows it's not Denny or any important work people. It's her. 

His face slightly relaxes and he stops in the middle to pick up the phone and answer her call as he places his phone on his ear and smirks while the call connects.

"Hey, Lloyd! How are you doing there? Wait, are you in Central Park? I recognized those sounds anywhere, the sound of the park. It's the only mall with a park in Jakarta." Elle tells him while she's sitting in a restaurant with Six.

They're eating chicken shawarma and cheese samosas. It's a small restaurant near her house and the only one who sells this kind of good food. It's quiet here. Six is still eating and so is she. They're sitting across from each other but still close.

She was curious to know where Lloyd was and how he was doing because she knows how chaotic malls in Jakarta could be. So she called him. 

Lloyd half grins. "You could hear fucking everything, can't you?" he retorts.

Elle giggles. "Yes! I can. Anyway, how's it going there?" she asks him, shoving a samosa into her mouth as she closes her mouth to chew.

He looks around him and it's so fucking crowded, he could suffocate and die here. He lets out an exhale. "About to go home. I mean, to the penthouse. You?" Lloyd replies. 

She nods, even though he can't see her as Six looks at her curiously, wanting to know what Lloyd is saying. "Well, we're still eating lunch and then we're going to visit my house." she answers. 

Lloyd frowns. "You're not going to go to your house everyday, are you?" he asks her, skeptically.

"No, of course not. But besides, it's only ten minutes away from the penthouse. Anyway, no. Not everyday." Elle responds. 

"Good. Because I need you in the penthouse everyday. It's easier if you lived there with us." Lloyd formally says.

"Most of my stuff is already there. And yes, I am moving in there. It's just that, um, I have dogs…so I need to feed them—" she tells him casually.

He cuts her off. "You have dogs!? You didn't bother to tell me, leaving out a huge fucking detail?" he yells through the phone, not giving a shit about people around him hearing him.

She huffs. "It's not a big detail, Lloyd. It's just a small one. I have neighbors so they could help me feed them every morning. Why don't you like dogs, anyway? Are you more of a cat person?" Elle teases him instead and Six chuckles quietly.

Lloyd rolls his eyes. "I'm neither. Pets are too messy. Anyhow, I'm hanging up, I'm about to leave this mall and go back. When are you coming back?" he asks as he starts to walk through the crowd.

She hums confusedly. "I don't know. Probably in the afternoon? I want to hang around here for a bit before I have to fully move to the penthouse. It's my childhood home, Lloyd." Elle says, genuinely.

"Right. Well, get home soon. Don't want anything to happen to my weapon." Lloyd tells her in an uptight tone.

Elle grimaces. "I'm not your weapon. I'm the CIA's weapon." she whispers on the phone. 

Lloyd smirks and chuckles, which slightly intimidates her. "Sure you are, sweetheart. But I was wrong. You're our weapon. Mine and Six's. Alright, be safe. I'm going." he says before ending the call as he gets in his personal car that he rented.

***

She frowns from the phone call with Lloyd earlier as she puts her phone back to her purse. 

Six is casually chewing his chicken shawarma roll as he looks at Elle with concern, noticing her frown. He always notices everything about her. 

And she caught his look.

"I'm fine. Lloyd was just being an asshole as usual. He told me that I was his and your weapon. I feel like I'm an object, just a personal weapon to use whenever he wants." she says, involuntarily pouting her lower lips. She does that a lot when she's upset.

He shakes his head. "That's not true. You're a human being, Elle. And I don't think you're our weapon. You're their asset, just like me and Lloyd but just more important and valuable." Six tells her, honestly.

Her lips slowly grow into a smile. "Thanks, Six. You always know how to say the right things." she sweetly says.

Six snorts softly. "Not all the time. I don't usually talk a lot, like this." he admits.

Elle cocks her head to the side. "Really?"

He nods, taking a sip of his drink. "Yeah, just simple answers. Like 'copy, Six.' or 'got it, target on sight', just the usual words I say through my earpiece to my superiors. That's it. This is new for me, Elle, talking to you a lot like this. And to Lloyd, I guess."

Her smile grows wider, reaching out to his hand on the table as his thick fingers hold her tiny ones. "This is new for all of us, Six. I've never lived together with someone other than my parents. Now I have to move in with two hot guys." she tells him.

Six blushes as he tries to hide a smile escaping from his lips and he lifts his eyebrows in surprise. "You think we're hot, huh?" He teases her. 

She giggles. "Whatever. You know the answer already." Elle retorts.

He does. 

He quietly chuckles. "Finish your food. We can't go back to the penthouse late. He'll lose his mind." Six makes a point as she nods, eating her food quicker.

***

The walk from the restaurant to her house was really short. 

They went inside her quiet neighborhood as he watched her greet literally everyone there and they all knew her too. They all asked who the white guy was walking beside her and she just casually said he was a friend visiting. 

People are very nosy here. But still polite.

Elle opens the small gate to her house, stepping aside to let Six in first. "Make yourself at home. You're my honored guest." she says with a playful smile on her lips before getting in too, closing the gate behind her.

Her house is quaint. Wide but not huge. It's a little messy. It has a spacious terrace that's surrounded by a small swing and a lot of trees. It's cool and chilly here.

Her dogs immediately bust out from inside the house and come jumping at her as they bark at Six. She has four dogs. Two old ones and two puppies who are twins.

Elle giggles at her dogs, managing to pet all of them as she looks at Six who's smiling quietly. He likes this. It's normal. He can't recall when's the last time his life was ever normal. 

She points at one of her two old dogs, the blonde one. "This is Luna. She's thirteen years old. She's quite big. I adopted her when she was only two months old. She loves to run a lot." she tells him.

Six nods, pointing at her other old dog, who's a little bit fatter than Luna and its hair is a mix of brown and white. "And this one?" he asks.

Elle smiles wider. "This is Mack. He's thirteen as well. He likes to eat all the time, that's why he's so fat. But he's still healthy. And I also adopted him when he was two months old." she responds, before pointing her finger at the twins who are both full white.

"And these are Poppy and Penny. They're twins, as you can tell. They're only a year old. I found them abandoned in the trash. Anywho, let's get in. They'll warm up to you, by the way." She grabs his hand, guiding him inside her house. 

They step inside her house through the wide opened wooden door as her dogs stay outside, to guard the house as usual.

Her living room is basically empty. There's only a few chairs and an old TV that's probably from the 1990s. It's a narrow and wide house, just straight through here, they can see everything and the whole house from here. There's three rooms. One was her parent's bedroom but she changed it into a guest bedroom and it's right behind the living room.

The second room, that's in the middle with a large window to see inside the room, is a storage room, where she keeps most of her stuff, old clothes, new ones and suitcases. It's a really small room. It used to be her childhood playroom. The wall is pink and filled with stickers. Almost like the one in the penthouse. 

As she leads further into the house, there's a room in the corner and it's hers. But at the far side of it, there's the kitchen and dining room. The table is all messy, filled with all of her stuff. She never eats there anymore. She prefers to eat in her room.

"Is this your room?" Six asks, pointing to the wooden door in the corner. 

Elle nods. "Yeap. Fair warning, it's messier than anything in this house."

He chuckles. "I'm fine with that." 

She looks at him for assurance and it's all there. He doesn't mind. What matters is that it's her room. He doesn't even have a place to call home. He wants to see what it's like to have one. Because maybe, just maybe, he could find a home in her. A place doesn't define home, but a person does. And she might just be the right person for that.

Her lips curve into a soft smile before leading him to her room as she opens the door with her mind and he's already starting to get used to that by now.

She's fucking amazing. 

"So, this is me!" Elle exclaims, walking into her room with him behind her as he observes her room, every inch of it.

It's smaller than any rooms in the penthouse and her room there. There's small colorful paintings attached onto the white wall. There's at least ten or more of them. A desk beside him, where it's all messy as well — papers, empty canvases, snacks and paint brushes are splayed all over the table. And on the right side of the room, there's a huge black closet that's really old, even older than her and it's definitely haunted.

His eyes dart to the middle of the room, and there's her bed. It's huge. It's king-sized. Even though she lives alone, she still wanted a really big bed to lay on. The sheets are white. There's one plushy doll that she still keeps until now and a long, cute pink blanket folded neatly on it. 

Her bathroom is on the other side of her room, the left side. It's beside her TV that's not so old, at least. She only keeps it on when she wants to block out all the noises she hears from everyone and everything outside this room.  

"I didn't know you paint." Six quietly remarks, still standing in her door frame as she sits on her bed. 

Elle looks at him. "Yeah. Used to." she replies, "Hey, come here." She pats her bed, gesturing for him.

He does what he's told, stepping inside her room fully and sits awkwardly on the edge of her bed. He doesn't even know why he's being so nervous when they've literally slept together in his bed last night. 

"So, what do you want to do now?" Six asks and she turns to him with a smile.

"We could go for an afternoon walk later. But for now, let's just stay here. It's still too hot for a walk. We could watch some TV and just chill here." she suggests but realizes she's been rambling. "Or if that's too boring we could—" 

Six cuts her off, his palm resting on the other side of her head. "No, that sounds good. I just want to chill and relax. But it is a bit hot." he points out. He's wearing a blazer, of course it's too hot for him.

Elle giggles. "Yeah, I'll turn on the AC." she says, her eyes darting to it as she turns it on with her mind and then darts to the opened door before closing it with her mind too.

He laughs quietly. "I'm still getting used to that." he murmurs, scotting closer to her.

She grabs the remote from the bed and turns it on. "You know, this reminds me of yesterday. Just a different setting." 

Six hums in response, taking off his blazer as she stares at his muscular arms and huge biceps, discreetly before retreating her eyes to the TV, that's showing a local channel and she quickly changes it into an international channel, something English.

"I need to start learning the language. Can you teach me?" Six asks her and she turns to him with a smile, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

"Of course! Indonesian is pretty easy, I've fluently spoken it since the second grade. Basically, what you read is what you speak. Unlike other languages where you need certain pronunciations that are totally different from what's written. Like French." Elle says, wrinkling her nose. 

He nods, agreeing. "Yeah, French is pretty hard. How many languages do you speak?" he asks.

Elle raises her fingers and counts nine of them, unsurely. "Nine? Ten? I don't know. English, Indonesian, Spanish, Portuguese, French, German, Latin, Russian, Italian and…Hindi. Oh, also, Chinese. My mom's family is Chinese. I learned it in school."

Six's lips twitch, seeing her so cute like this makes him want to kiss the shit out of her. "So, eleven. How'd you learn all of them?"

Her eyes stare into his blue eyes and she sighs, her lips tugging into a soft smile. "My parents did. They, uh, wanted me to be super smart. I learned all of those languages and got fluent in them in a few months. They would buy me tons of books and then make me watch all these foreign movies. It was easy for me because the experiment made my brain…smart." she explains, "What about you?" 

He strokes her hair slowly. "Most of them. I don't count. But I was trained to learn the basics." Six simply responds. He can't tell her what he'd been through during his extreme training. Not yet, at least. He doesn't want to scare her. 

Elle nods, leaning her head on his shoulder as her hands rest on his thigh. "I don't want to think about the world right now. Even if it's just for a while." she murmurs, weakly.

She's very touchy feely. She likes to be touched and vice versa. It gives her comfort and assurance. And it feels more affectionate. She loves affectionate things.

Six chuckles softly, tilting his head down to see her. "That'd be kinda hard when we're both valuable assets for the CIA." he reminds her. He's not relaxed yet.

She shakes her head. "Forget that. Just for a few hours. We're not needed now." she whispers as she slowly releases her feet from her shoes and lifts them on the bed, crossing her legs comfortably.

He brushes her hair away to look at her face clearly. "I can do that." he whispers before placing his arm around her, tightly.

He could do this. He could enjoy this. Because for once in his life, he can be at ease and not so alert all the time. He can trust her.

***

The gym is finally fucking perfect. Almost.

Lloyd spent hours bossing people around and yelling at them just to make it how he wants it to look like.

He even forgot to eat or drink. He had some…plans. He was going to go to some other bar, somewhere nearby here and find someone pretty enough to fuck.

He's seen the ladies here. They're pretty and all but he has very high standards. He needs to make sure they're not too stupid or too shallow or too clingy. He usually picks up girls from bars and clubs all around the world. But in some countries where he's been on missions, like France or Italy or Germany, the girls there fit his standards at the very least. This country is the first third world country he's ever been to.

That's why when he met Elle, he knew she was different and better. Because he saw each and every girl in that bar (even in the airport as well) but they didn't look even a little bit interesting enough for him and they all looked the same to him. Sometimes he doesn't just want a simple fuck, he likes a challenge every now and then — it gets his dick even harder.

Elle offers him a challenge. A really hard one where he can't even touch her at all. At this point, it's not a fun challenge anymore. It's serious.

It's afternoon now. He could clearly see it from the afternoon sun in the large window of the living room. Could see the whole city and the whole skies from here. He's still weighing on his decisions — he still doesn't know if it's a good idea to go to a bar and fuck a girl or bring her home with Elle around. He doesn't want her to see or hear him balls deep, pounding some other chick. He knows she probably won't like that very much, she could get quite uncomfortable by it.

He walks to the kitchen, opening the fridge as he takes out a cold water bottle with a ridiculously expensive brand. Lloyd likes expensive things, expensive everything. He has a few things to say about Elle's choice of outfits. He wants to change her style, get her into designer outfits and dress her classy and chic.

But he can't even do that either. She's not for him to play around like a pretty little doll — even though he really wants to do exactly that. Toy her around. Dress her around. Fuck her around.

Lloyd blinks, shaking his head to brush off those dirty and sadistic thoughts inside of his mind. She's his teammate now, technically. They're working together. It would be so much harder to focus on missions if she was his.

He reaches his phone from his back pocket and checks the time. It's 4.32pm. He's recalling Elle's words earlier from their call. She said they'd be home by the afternoon but they're probably still there and not even close to getting back. And he can't let them get back late. Or maybe even stay the night there. She has to be in his sight and in his reach or else something could happen to her.

I need to see her. Now.

Lloyd frowns at his own thoughts. He hates himself for caring so much for her. But again, he's trying to convince himself he's not. It's for the mission. It's his mission to make sure the precious weapon is safe and sound and the only way to do that is to keep her with him at all times, not letting her out of his sight for too long. He knows Six's got her and he trusts the man enough to protect her but still. He needs to see her because he's worried for her.

He's never going to admit that, though.

He storms out of the kitchen as he immediately walks towards the foyer and the elevator to go downstairs, to the car.

He's coming to get her.

***

Elle and Six are walking side-by-side each other in her neighborhood park with each twin puppy's leash in their hands as the older dogs run freely.

He's got Poppy. She's got Penny.

They're great paw parents. They're both happy and content. A rare feeling for them.

Six can't recall when was the last time he ever had a normal walk like this. Especially with dogs. He had one childhood dog growing up, but then he never saw it again after what happened.

He's just glad to be here. With her.

Six quietly smiles at her as he watches her enjoy this peaceful and quiet walk as much as he does.

He doesn't even bother to observe and analyze the area anymore. There are people around them, walking and running and talking loudly but he completely ignores them. He usually has to examine each and every person in the room and determine if the place is safe or not — that's how he was trained. But she said it's safe here, then it's safe here. He trusts her.

Instead, he's focusing on her only. Not on the dogs barking or on the puppy's leash he's holding that keeps on pulling his hand or on the neighbors greeting her every time, but at her. She's really fucking beautiful that he couldn't even keep his eyes off of her this whole time and she's not even trying.

She's just wearing a casual pink top from earlier and she recently changed into some denim shorts at home. She tied her brunette hair into a high ponytail and let out a few loose strands resting on the side of her face. She looks incredibly gorgeous to him. He can't even understand how anyone could look this effortlessly pretty naturally and not even notice it.

"Where are we going, Elle?" Six asks as she leads them into a secluded neighborhood now, where no one else is here anymore. Just quiet houses, the dogs and them.

"Around." Elle smirks, turning to him.

He shakes his head, reaching out for her hand as he holds her small hand in his huge ones. She's distracted and trying to be oblivious now. She has blocked out all the noises she hears from afar thanks to a small spell she casted earlier at home before leaving. Now, all she can hear is her dogs walking, their footsteps and him.

She's hearing like normal now. Though, the spell doesn't last for long. It only lasts for a few minutes. She only uses it when she really wants to relax. And she even had to create this spell herself using her own blood. It's a mix of science and magic.

Six moves to walk even closer to her and stops his walking as she does too. She giggles. "What? What is it?" she asks, smiling at him.

He exhales, slowly catching his breath. "Why don't we take a break? We've been at it for half an hour now. I'm not that young anymore, Elle." he reminds her.

Elle laughs softly, knowing he's joking. "Oh, right. I forgot that you're an old man already. I guess we should've brought some stamina pills or something." she jokes, tilting her head to the side with a fake pout.

Six lets out a hearty laugh, shaking his head. "Nah, I'm joking. I just wanted to stop and kiss you." he admits, pulling her by her hand on his as their bodies bump into each other and she giggles again.

She gasps, shaking her head. "Fuck, not here. Definitely not here. Anyone could pass by right now. Anyone that knows me here. Wait till we get home." She's being paranoid, as always.

He sighs, "Fine. But it's a long way home."

Her smile widens. "Yeap. We should probably get going if we need to get back to the penthouse before dinner." Elle says.

Six chuckles. "Don't tell me you're actually going to cook dinner for us. You don't need to, Elle." he tells her in a serious tone.

She nods. "I am. And I want to." she stubbornly says.

He dips his head and laughs. "You're impossible." Six remarks.

Elle grins and giggles, humming teasingly. "Yeah, and you love it." she retorts.

He subtly nods, his palm resting on a side of her face and she leans into his touch. Both of their other hands are occupied with the twins' leashes and they keep on pulling their hand, urging them to keep walking but they're too lost in each other's eyes as their smile lingers and they're spaced out in each other, like the world just froze and it's only them now. Only them that matters.

Six knows this isn't a vacation for him or a chance for him to finally relax. This is a mission. A real one. One that he has to take seriously just like with his other missions. Just because he met someone, it doesn't mean he gets to forget his job and what he was trained for. He's just trying to enjoy one day of his life without any death or pain. Just one normal day, with her.

Elle has had normal days in her life after her parents left her. This one seems just as normal and the only difference is she's with someone now, someone she actually wants. She could keep living like this. Just like this with him.

But then again, when has anything ever been just perfect in both of their lives?

It all happens too fast. They hear the gunshots first. And then the people's screams. Elle panics. Six is a bit startled because he let his guard down and now they're in danger. He needs to protect her. She's his first priority. That's his mission.

A shady pickup truck approaches them at a fast speed and he immediately shoves her behind him along with the puppies as the older dogs bark directly at the moving vehicle. Elle's scared shitless that they're going to hurt or kill her dogs or hurt him.

They get a clear view of the shooters standing behind the truck with their cheap guns in their hands and a mask over their face. There's three men and another one driving the truck.

"Ayo, ambil dia!" The driver says in Indonesian before the truck stops in front of them abruptly and the men get off the truck, walking to them from a far distance as Elle flinches behind him.

(Translation : Come on, take her!)

"What's he saying?" Six asks her quickly.

"They want to take me." Elle quickly replies with her eyes terrified.

"Shit. Okay, stay here." he tells her before walking to them calmly, ready to fight them all off but as soon as they saw the look on his face, they immediately got intimidated and alarmed by him as two of them point their guns at him and shoot him aimlessly, the two bullets penetrating his left arm and his shoulder.

He doesn't even wince in pain or flinch anymore, he's used to pain. He could walk this off and still take all three of them down and go back home just in time for dinner.

Elle widens her eyes at the sight of Six shot as she grimaces. "No!" she screams out loud, "Six, back off. Now." she tells him. They got guns and he's shot.

He ignores her, not even looking her way, still stepping forward to the men as one of them runs away to her direction and that's when he finally turns around to look at her.

She's confused and scared as the man approaches her and she hides her puppies behind her so he doesn't hurt them. She's got strong hands but she doesn't even know how to punch a face or kick someone. She's only got powers. A hell of a bunch of it.

She raises her hand and slowly clenches it into a fist as she gives the man in front of her a brain aneurysm while he screams in pain and gets all bloody in his nose and eyes before dropping unconscious to the ground. He'll be dead in a matter of minutes.

Six sees that and turns around to the men as he clenches his fist, about to punch them but Elle gets ahead of him, walking towards the two men, angrily with her hand still raised and they quickly retreat, running to their car as they just saw what she did to their friend.

"Idiots." Six comments, casually standing up normally beside her as if he didn't just get shot and still has two bullets inside of him.

As they're running to the car, she follows them with anger seeping inside her. They ruined their nice afternoon walk, hurted a few civilians and they hurt Six. No one ever hurts the people she cares about and walks away with it. And this was different, she feels different. More angry and powerful. She's never felt like this before except for last week. She felt the same rage last week, too.

The two men running look behind them to see her following them as they quickly grab their guns, pulling the trigger at her twice and the bullets land on both sides of her arms. She winces in pain, stopping in her tracks as Six immediately runs towards her and the men make it to their car.

The pain doesn't hurt much for her. She's got an actual high tolerance for pain because of the experiment, so everytime she gets hurt, it won't hurt as much as if a normal human gets hurt. It'll hurt ten times less than it actually should be. But this is the first time she's ever gotten shot ever since the experiment that was conducted by her parents when she was about ten years old. They shot her in her hand, to make sure if she was immune to it. She forgot how painful it was getting shot and this is two bullets at the same time. She's still not used to the pain yet.

Six looks down at her wounded arms, filled with blood all over and gently places his hands on her shoulders. "Hey, come on. It's over now. Let's just go home." he tells her.

Elle looks away from him to the direction of the car. "It's not over. They hurt us." she grits out, brushing away from him. She's even more angry now. She needs to finish this.

The car starts to move away from them as she stands still in her position and focuses her mind and powers on the car with her very strong emotions as well. She raises one hand towards the direction of the car and chants one single fire spell in Latin that no one ever uses because they're not powerful enough to do it. But she is.

And then the car blows up. To pieces. On fire. Along with the men inside of it. She could super-hear their screams of agony as they burn to death and she doesn't even blink her eyes or flinch.

Six widens his eyes, quickly glancing back at her who's still looking at the car with no emotions on her face and almost smiling with her eyes at the sight of it. She looks different. He doesn't even recognize her here. But he's not scared of her or weirded out, he just didn't know that this side of her existed. He'd embraced every side of her no matter what.

"Elle, let's go. Now." he harshly says, hoping to snap her out of it.

She finally turns to look at him and her entire facial expressions change as her face slowly relaxes at him. "Are you okay?" she asks in a shaky breath.

He nods. "We need to go. Can you walk?"

Elle nods, looking over to her puppies and dogs who're hiding behind a tree together, safely. "Yeah, I can. I know a short alley to get home quicker." she tells him, still grimacing a little from the pain in her arms.

Six attempts to take a step but stumbles a little before she catches him with both of her strong arms as she sneaks her arm behind his waist and grabs his hand to rest on her shoulders.

"Elle, I'm fine. You're also hurt." he says.

"It doesn't hurt as much as yours. I have an extremely high pain tolerance. Now, let me help you so we can get home and I can heal both of us there." Elle sternly says.

Six simply nods and obeys her, letting himself lean his weight on her as they proceed to walk away from the crime scene.

***

Lloyd's been waiting inside her empty house for almost an hour now.

He'd assumed that they were just taking an afternoon walk.

But this was way longer than a walk. He's worried now, somehow. For both of them.

Anything could happen out there. And he's not there to make sure they're safe.

He's just been sitting inside her living room, in a small and uncomfortable chair with all of his agents guarding her house outside, just in case.

Suddenly, an agent walks up to him with a nervous and anxious look on his face.

Lloyd frowns. "Why is your face like that?" he asks.

"There's been a shooting not far from here. Civilians are shot and the shooter's car has been blown up. We think that Elle and Six were there. Some neighbors said that they saw them walking there minutes before it happened." His agent reports to him.

He rises up from his chair. "What? Where are they now?" Lloyd asks in a loud tone.

The agent shrugs. "We don't know. We've searched the area. No sign of them yet. But we'll keep searching." he responds.

Lloyd shakes his head. "No. Don't. I have a feeling that they've already fled the crime scene and are on the way here. I know them. Just guard the house. Make sure no one but them enters here." he orders him.

His agent nods and leaves him to his thoughts.

He's contemplating on whether to just stay here and wait for them to come home or search for them. He knows that they're both capable enough to fight back and he's even got a stronger feeling that she's the one who blew up that car. It's her style. It's like her to do that. He knows that. He knows her.

But now he's even more worried for her. He knows Six is fine. He always is, no matter what.

What if she's badly hurt? It was his damn job to protect her.

***

When Six and Elle finally get home, Lloyd immediately rushes to get to them.

It's only been five minutes since he got the news but it's been consuming him as he waited. It felt like decades of waiting.

"Lloyd? What are you doing here?" Elle asks as the agents open the gate of her house for them while her dogs run inside.

His eyes immediately searched both of their bodies and saw blood. A lot of it. Six is still clinging onto her as they walk into their house and they stand on the terrace with Lloyd in front of them, examining them. She looks fine. He looks worse.

"You're bleeding. We need to get you both a doctor. Now." Lloyd orders.

She shakes her head. "There's no need. I can heal myself and heal Six. I just need a little help." Elle says, weakly.

Lloyd lunges forward to her, gently taking her off of Six as two other agents try to help him but he raises a hand at them.

"No. I can walk by myself." Six tells them as Lloyd puts an arm around her to help her walk.

Her bullet wounds aren't as painful as Six's wounds and she knows that. But she's just tired. She just used her powers to kill a man and explode a car today while being shot. And then she practically had to half-carry Six's heavy body on their walk home. And now, she has to use her powers again to heal both of them.

Even with her enhanced strength and stamina and strong powers, she's still human. She'll always be too tired at the end of the day. And she doesn't have enough experience or training to be used to all of it. She's only human. Sometimes she has to remind herself of that every now and then.

Elle leans all of her weight on Lloyd as he guides them to walk inside the house while Six casually walks beside them with a hand pressing on his bleeding shoulder.

Once they're all inside the house, the agents close the door, locking it and closing the curtains of the window too as all of them guard outside the house.

She gestures to Lloyd to let her sit on a chair in her living room as he takes her there, helping her sit down on it and she winces again while leaning onto the chair as she throws her head back and grunts a little in pain.

"Fuck, that hurts. I never knew that it'd hurt this bad." Elle breathes out as Six takes a seat across from her, the same seat that Lloyd sat on earlier.

She's not about to tell them that she's been shot before by her parents when she was a child. Now is not the time for a trauma dump.

"You've never gotten shot before?" Lloyd seriously asks, sitting on a small chair beside her.

She shakes her head. "Nope." she replies, rolling her shirt up, looking down at her wounds for the first time. "Alright, this is going to look extremely disgusting and gory so I suggest both of you to look away or close your eyes or something."

Lloyd scoffs. "Yeah, right. You think we haven't seen our fair share of blood and gore in our life?" he retorts.

Elle casually shrugs. "I just thought I'd warn you. But fine." she says, looking at Six for his answer.

Six nods at her. "I won't look away." he simply says.

"Okay." she mutters before resting her left arm on the armrest and she bits her lips hard to stifle a scream as her strong fingers dig into the bullet wound and she grunts in pain, trying to find the bullet in there and after a few seconds, she finds it but getting it out is going to be the hard task since her blood is making everything so slippery.

Lloyd grimaces at the sight of it. Six does, too. They didn't know that her healing herself would be like this. She was right. This was gory and disgusting. They've seen a handful of gory shit in their life, Lloyd was right, but this was nothing like anything they've ever seen. Especially seeing their precious Elle in so much pain like this. It makes them a little bit…vulnerable.

Six doesn't say anything. He knows he just has to let her do her thing. He trusts her to heal herself even though the process is painful to watch.

"Elle, are you sure that this process should be this barbaric? I think the doctor was a better idea." Lloyd remarks.

She groans out loud as her fingers finally take out the bullet and she hands it to Lloyd with two of her bloody fingers pinching it.

He scowls, leaning back from her. "I don't want the fucking bullet. Throw it."

Elle chuckles in a shaky breath. "Yeah, could you throw it for me?" she innocently asks just to tease him.

"Absolutely not. Throw it yourself." he quickly says.

She rolls her eyes. "Fine." she says, throwing the bullet onto the floor with her blood all over it.

Lloyd grimaces at that before his eyes dart to her again. "You need stitches after that fucking manual surgery you just had." he comments.

She scoffs, lifting her left arm to him as her wound slowly closes up and heals completely with a lot of her blood still around it but she's healed already. Just like that. Six sees it too, and he's relieved. He was a little bit worried for her during their walk home but he just kept it to himself, as usual.

"Oh. So you just need to take the bullet out and then it'll heal automatically? What about a stab wound?" Lloyd asks.

"If there's nothing on the knife that's inside of me, then it should heal itself." she replies.

"What if someone shot you in the head?" he asks.

"Then maybe I'll die. I don't know. Or I could still have the time to take it out. What I know is, I don't feel pain as much as other humans do. I feel it ten times less." Elle explains.

Lloyd nods. "Alright. Get on with that barbaric process of yours. I need to make a report with Denny. Wait, I haven't asked. What the fuck happened out there?" he finally asks.

She softly chuckles. "Took you long enough. Yeah, four local men tried to kidnap me but two of them shot Six and then I killed one of them with a brain aneurysm. After that, I chased the two who shot Six to their car but they shot me and then I blew up their car. And then they died. Obviously." Elle explains in her own way.

He frowns. "Fucking hell. You could've at least called. I got here an hour before this all happened. Why did they even try to kidnap you?" Lloyd asks.

Elle frowns. "Wait. You got here before everything? Why?" she questions him.

He shrugs. "Just wanted to check up on you. Both of you. Something could've happened and I was right." he pauses, "So, why did they do it?" he repeats his question.

She looks at him with raised eyebrows. "Seriously? I'm the fucking weapon, Lloyd. Clearly, people are still after me to use me as their weapon here, in this city. I just didn't know that it would happen in my own neighborhood where it should've been safe. Now innocent civilians are shot because of me. Because they were after me." Elle blames herself as usual.

"No. Don't blame yourself again, Elle. That wasn't your fault." Six tells her, slowly straightening up in his seat.

Lloyd nods. "Yeah, we could've never predicted it. I guess I should've had some of our agents with you earlier."

Elle squints his eyes at him. "This isn't about me. I don't give a fuck about what happens to me but the civilians—"

He cuts her off. "But I do. I give a fuck. You're my first priority in this mission, Elle. Not the civilians or the missions assigned from the agency. But you are. You have to know that." Lloyd makes it clear for her. He's using a harsh tone but he's not raising his voice.

He needs her to know that he could care less about anyone else but her because he takes his missions seriously. He could quite literally let someone die just to save her or keep her safe. And it's strictly for the mission only — at least that's what he's saying to convince himself and her.

She slowly nods at him, her eyes darting back and forth to Six and Lloyd as a small silence rests between them.

"I know. I know that." Elle softly says.

"Good. You should keep that in mind whenever you start talking about someone else's life above yours. Yours matter the most because you're valuable." he tells her.

"Right. So everyone else is just worthless and deserves to die?" she harshly retorts.

Lloyd rolls his eyes, his eyes bore into hers as he leans closer to her. "That's not what I meant." he grits out before realizing, "No, you know what I meant. You always do. You're too smart sometimes. It gets annoying." he comments.

"Yeah, I'm more valuable than everyone else because my abilities could help a lot of people so therefore I can't die because then who would save everyone else? Who would become the hero they all so desperately need?" Elle retorts.

He scoffs. "It's impossible to be a hero. You know that already. And it's not just that. The CIA wants your abilities for a lot of things that don't involve you being the hero. I don't know what exactly that is but you should know that they're…twisted. So that's why you're so valuable. There's no one else like you. Literally." Lloyd tells her.

She gulps. Is what he's saying true? Or is he just trying to scare her? Deep down inside of her knows that he is telling the truth. But she wants to deny it. Even if it's just for a while. To keep her calm and not jump into conclusions.

Six winces a little, starting to cough up a little blood from his mouth. "Shit," he mutters under his breath but this living room is too quiet and too small so everyone heard that.

Lloyd and Elle have been bickering too much that they forgot that Six is still bleeding out from two bullet wounds.

Elle immediately gets up from her seat and walks to him. She doesn't feel as much pain anymore with her other arm healed already even though the arm that still has a bullet inside is still bleeding out.

She stands beside him, placing a hand on his. "Okay, I'm going to heal you now. It's going to be a much simpler process than mine. And not barbaric. I promise."

Six frowns. "You haven't healed your other arm yet." he mutters.

She casually shakes her head. "It doesn't hurt that much now that the other arm has healed. I heal differently than you, Six. I also feel pain differently. You can actually die from a gunshot but I can't. I never can. So, let me heal you now so we could get this over with and I could take a long, cold shower in my own bathroom."

He slowly nods his head before she hovers her hand on the bullet wound on his shoulder and her other hand on the bullet wound on his arm while focusing her powers on it as she chants a healing spell that she made herself under her breath and for him, it feels a little hot for his skin but not exactly painful.

And after a few seconds, he could slowly feel his wounds closing up and healing as the pain went away while the bullets bounce away, landing on her palms.

"Wow," Six mutters under his breath as her hands leave his shoulder and arm while her lips curve into a smile, seeing him better and healed. His eyes look up at hers and his lips slowly tug into a small smile as Lloyd sees it and he didn't even know the man could smile like that. Because it's genuine. It's not a polite or a formal smile but it's a real one. He wants to actually smile because of her.

Elle turns around to Lloyd. "Hey, maybe we should stay the night here just for tonight. If someone's coming after me again, we could finish it. They know I'd be here. But just for safety reasons, I'll be putting up a barrier spell for this house so anyone except for all of us can't enter the house."

He frowns. "The penthouse is way safer."

She huffs. "I can't put up a barrier spell for the penthouse."

"Why not?" Lloyd asks, pulling his eyebrows together.

"Because it's a whole goddamn building, Hansen. I'm not that powerful. Besides, if we're just going to be hiding in the penthouse, this would never be over. I just want to make sure. If they're not after me anymore, then that's good. We can come back to the penthouse tomorrow morning." Elle makes a plan.

He eventually nods, agreeing with her plan as he stands up from his seat and looks down at her with his gaze almost softened.

"I'll find who did this. And then I'll chop their fucking head off, okay?" Lloyd softly tells her in a genuine tone as if he's not talking about murder.

It's not necessarily his job to kill anyone that hurt her but he wants to. Lloyd's frustrated that someone dared to hurt his precious weapon and he sure as hell won't let them get away with it — he's going to do much worse than just chop their head off, he's going to think of thousands of ways to torture a human until they're begging him to kill them.

Plus, if anything worse had happened to her, Denny's going to want his head for it. But this is so much more than just the mission. It's her. He didn't like seeing her hurt like that. He can't explain why but he just didn't like it.

She hums in response. "Yeah. Okay. So, there's only two rooms in this house. The guest bedroom and my room. The guest bedroom should be for the agents so they could rest for a while and exchange shifts to guard the house. And, well…I guess we could all sleep in my room? It's a big enough bed and there's no other choice." she explains to them while looking at both of them.

Six quietly chuckles. Lloyd frowns, wanting to protest but he knows it is the only choice. He's not going to just sleep in the penthouse and leave her alone, out of his sight again.

"Fine. But you're sleeping in the middle." Lloyd finally agrees.

Elle snickers. "Where else would I be?" she jokes instead, making the situation a little bit lighter and less awkward as Six quietly smiles at them.

Sleeping all together would definitely be extremely awkward, though.

Lloyd moves to walk towards the entrance of the door before turning to them while gripping the door handle. "I'm going to inform the agents. Oh, and you two need a shower. You both stink of a lot of blood and it's disgusting. But, shower separately, of course." he tells them.

Six and Elle both chuckle in sync as he proceeds to open the door and leave them.

She turns to him with a smile. "You should go shower first. I need to heal my other arm. Oh, and there's some extra clothes your size in a small bottom drawer in my room. It's my dad's clothes that he left but don't worry, I washed all of it. I still keep it in case someone needs it, you know. They're pretty nice clothes so it's a waste if I just threw it all away." Elle tells him.

Six nods, the corner of his lips twitching. "It is a little weird that I'd be wearing your dad's clothes." he remarks.

She giggles. "Well, you kinda have no more choice. There's no stores here."

He nods again, getting up from his seat. "Alright, then. I'll go shower. Are you sure you don't want me to accompany you while you heal yourself?" Six softly offers.

Elle shakes her head, tapping his arm. "I'll be fine. It's gory, remember?"

"I know. But I'd still watch you no matter how gory or disgusting it is, Elle." he tells her, his hands brushing her hair out of her face as he cups her face and she slowly smiles up at him.

She sighs softly. "Six, thank you, for protecting me earlier. I know it was your job but it felt a little more than that, you know. It felt…affectionate in some way. No one's ever made me feel like that before. No one was ever there to protect me."

"But I failed. That man was about to kidnap you and I just stood there—" he blames himself but she cuts him off.

"You still tried to. It matters to me, at least. It matters a lot. You were distracted and that's okay." She tries to reassure him.

Six gently scoffs. "Yeah, for the first time ever. But it won't happen again. I swear."

She slowly nods, putting her hand above his. "I know. I know, Six." she whispers.

Another silence rests between them as they stare into each other's eyes again, trying to remind themselves of what it was like to have a peaceful moment with just them, before all the chaos and bloodshed interrupted them.

Six was compromised. He wasn't just distracted. If this was a real mission, he would've failed for the first time ever. The infamous Sierra Six failed one simple mission because of a girl. Even the CIA would've laughed at that. Out of all the other agents or assets, he's the only one who's never failed one single mission throughout all these years. Sure, there were obstacles and problems but in the end, he always figured it out and finished his job right, no matter what.

Lloyd's failed a few missions before. But those were extremely hard missions or even impossible ones that took weeks and extra planning and extra budget, as well. And that was okay that he failed. It was reasonable. He wasn't trained as hardcore as Six was. He wasn't trained to survive for days or think critically in every kind of scenario or work under pressure.

So if Six had failed one of these missions, he'd probably get fired or get killed. At least that's what he thinks. It isn't so bad if he failed once — a lot of agents or assets have failed and they were fine. But he doesn't want to. Not even once. He has to make sure he doesn't fail now. He needs to be himself again, before meeting Elle.

Cold. Uncompromised. Focused. Uncaring. Nonchalant. That is what he was and still is.

He's not going to act like that towards her or even Lloyd. Just that he needs to start acting like that again during missions, which will be next week. So he's going to be completely unbothered even if he sees her hurt or in danger — he'll still help her if she needs it but if she says she's got it then he won't help her because he trusts her enough to protect herself. But most importantly, he won't feel anything when he sees her hurt so he won't get distracted.

Because if he feels, that's when shit could go sideways.

Elle cocks her head to the side. "Six? Go take a shower before I change my mind for you to go first." she snaps him out of his thoughts.

Six softly chuckles. "Okay, okay. Fine. I'll go. You gonna stay right here?" he asks, his hands leaving her face.

She nods. "Yeap. Actually, I think I need to do a few more things before I can finally shower and relax." she informs him.

He nods. "Alright." Six simply says before walking past her to go towards her bedroom that's right in the far corner.

Elle sits back down in his seat and sighs, leaning her arms against the armrests as she looks down on her other bloody arm that still has a bullet inside it while she hears Lloyd order his agents around outside, being all bossy and stubborn like he usually is.

She can't believe that she has to share a bed with him.

***

Elle hasn't had the time to even rest yet.

She's been too busy with handling everything here.

From calming her dogs down, cleaning her blood with a bunch of meds, securing the house and the perimeter with a barrier spell, telling the agents to remain hidden and discreet from all her neighbours to avoid questions and getting groceries for the night at her local grocery store.

Six and Lloyd have been holed up in her room for the whole afternoon and night now. It's about 8pm now. Six is quietly watching television on her bed. Lloyd is scrolling through his phone on a chair beside her bed. They're both bored.

They're waiting for her as she's cooking dinner in her kitchen. Lloyd already insisted on getting takeouts earlier but she refused.

She's extremely stubborn.

Lloyd finally puts his phone down and glances at Six, whose eyes are still focused on some movie on the TV as he rests his head on the white wall, laying his entire body on the bed. He's tired. He wishes Elle is right beside him right now but she's been busy.

"Six." Lloyd calls out and his eyes immediately dart to his icy blue ones.

"Yeah?" Six replies.

"How old is she?" he asks, quietly and it almost comes out as a whisper.

Six frowns. "Why do you suddenly ask?"

Lloyd shrugs. "I don't know. I'm bored. And the question has been itching my head. I guess I should've asked back at the bar."

Six nods. "Yeah, you should've. Alright, okay, she's 29. Technically."

He frowns. "Are you sure? Was she drunk when she told you that? Oh wait, she can't get drunk. No. That's not possible, she looks way younger than fucking 29 years old."

He quietly chuckles, shaking his head. "She told me that she ages slower."

Lloyd nods. "Okay, how slow? Ten years slower? Five?"

Six casually shrugs. "I don't know, Lloyd. Maybe? What does she look like to you?"

He furrows his brows, cocking his head to the side. "Like, 21 or 23?" he guesses.

He chuckles again. "Jesus, Lloyd. That's way too young."

"Well, I don't know. She looks like it."

Six frowns again. "Why do you want to know, anyway?" he asks again.

Lloyd sputters. "Curiosity. I don't know. Boredom. Not that I'd have to know if it's legal or not to fuck her. Of course it is since she let us f—"

He cuts her off. "Let's not objectify her like that. Sure, she's a weapon. But she's still a human being. Treat her like one."

"I am. She means more than just a weapon to me. Somehow." Lloyd says, creasing his eyebrows as he gives him a suspicious look. "Wait. Why are you always defending her? Are you…are you fucking her, Six?" he accuses.

Six rolls his eyes. "If I am, what does it matter?" he snaps.

Lloyd frowns at his attitude. It's not very him. "Why have you been so different ever since we landed in Jakarta? It's like you're a whole different person. You usually don't talk much or even give an attitude. Is it her? Did she manage to change the infamous Sierra Six? That's bad, Six." he confronts him.

He frowns. "I didn't change, Hansen. I just chose to keep everything to myself before her. She's…good at listening to me. She's a good person. Despite the circumstances."

He scoffs. "Yeah, or she's also good at something else." Lloyd smirks at his own words as he immediately gets what he's saying.

Six shakes his head. "No. We're not—no. But I could ask you the same thing. Do you want to, you know, fuck her? I saw the way you talk to her and how you look at her. I'm an observer." he confronts him.

"More like an over-observer." He retorts, clicking his tongue before rolling his eyes and letting out an exasperated exhale. "Whatever, fine. If I wanted to, so what? Not like it fucking matters anymore. I can't have her." Lloyd finally admits and it hangs between them. They're both quiet again.

He usually wouldn't admit anything to anyone especially Six of all people but right at this moment, he doesn't really have anyone else but him and he understands Lloyd. He doesn't judge, that he knows. He wouldn't make snarky comments, either. He just listens. That's all he needs.

Six nods. "Why not?" he asks in the middle of their silence.

"Didn't think you'd ask anything." he mumbles before contemplating on whether to tell him or not but it's useless anyway keeping it hidden in his head. "Well, you know why. She's our weapon. The CIA's weapon, too. We're working with her. Our teammate, technically."

He gently scoffs. "That's not why."

Lloyd sighs. "Yeah, it's not. Well, because I don't do that shit. Commitment. Even if we're just fucking and nothing else. I can only fuck her, I'm stuck with her."

"You want to fuck other people too?" he asks.

"Maybe. I just get bored so easily. I get so obsessed with one person and then after I'm done using them, I just forget why I was even obsessed with them in the first place and then I leave them. But in this case, as I said earlier, we're teammates. We work together. I can't just ignore her or even leave her." he bluntly confesses.

Six nods. "That's called sociopathic tendencies, Hansen. It's your nature. But it's still salvageable. You could change it yourself. Only you could do it."

Lloyd scoffs. "What are you, a motivator now? I don't need the pep-talk, Six. Or any sort of advice you have in your mind. I'm good, thanks." he harshly says.

"I was just saying." he mumbles quietly.

He sighs again, getting up from his seat as he moves to sit beside Six and he frowns confusedly at his action.

"Are you willing to share? Serious question." Lloyd asks, really quietly so she can't hear them from outside.

Six lifts his eyebrows in surprise, realizing that he's talking about sharing her. "I can. But can you? And we need her consent first. We need to make sure it's really what she wants."

His eyes darted away from him to think clearly. "I don't even know if it's what I want. Whatever, forget it. It's not going to work."

He sighs softly, about to say something but the door opens by none other than Elle.

"What's not going to work?" She walks in with a smile on her face and a question about something distinct she overheard from Lloyd.

Lloyd turns around to her. "Nothing. Is dinner ready?" he asks.

Elle cocks her head to the side, leaning on her door frame as she crosses her arms against her chest and stares at both of them. "Yeah. Looks like you guys are getting cozy with each other." she remarks.

Six's lips form into a small smile. "What'd you cook?" he asks her.

Her eyes move to his. "Boxed mac and cheese. Sorry guys, I'm too tired to cook a full meal. And I'm guessing that I'm probably not going to have a good night's sleep tonight with both of you sandwiching me." Elle complains.

Lloyd chuckles loudly. "Aw, sweetheart. Don't act like you're not going to enjoy being in bed with the both of us." he taunts her, as usual.

She rolls her eyes at him. "Not with you. You're probably going to take up the whole space or kick me in your sleep or something." she accuses. Possibly accurate.

He scoffs. "I won't do that. I'm not even going to hurt you in your sleep. Even my subconscious knows that you're way too precious for that." Lloyd retorts.

"Again with the precious shit. I'm only okay with it if Six says it. He says it better." Elle comments with a small smirk on her lips.

He frowns, rolling his eyes as Six chuckles quietly and he stands up from the bed, walking to her.

"Let's all have dinner, shall we?" Lloyd declares, with a fake smile at her as Six gets off of her bed and walks to them.

She nods, humming in approval, looking at both of them standing beside each other in sweatpants and a tight shirt because apparently her dad's shirts are too small for them, it's quite literally stretching on their chests, their muscular arms, their biceps and something crosses her mind before snapping out of it quickly.

They're so fucking hot. Both of them. Together. I need them. Both.

She blinks, shaking her head to brush off those nasty thoughts. "Yeap. Let's." Elle declares too, smiling at both of them with that charming and innocent smile of hers.

***

Dinner was fast. Too fast.

They were starving. Elle, especially.

Everytime she uses her powers for huge stuff, she gets really hungry. Because food is fuel after all. It's her version of recharge.

Not that she ever needs to recharge her powers, anyway. Her powers are basically unlimited and too powerful for a limitation.

They're all at her small, long dining table.

Elle and Lloyd are across from each other and Six is sitting in the middle, but closer to her.

They haven't said a word to each other at all. They're too busy chomping on their food. This is quiet and peaceful for her.

She can only hear their steady heartbeats, her dogs sleeping and snoring on the floor, the agents barely moving or talking and the cricket noises of the night.

She hasn't given today much thought. She usually overthinks and analyzes everything that happens in her life. She knows that it was an act of anger earlier today. Just like what happened in that lab. Her emotions got the best of her and she reacted with her powers. But this felt more personal than the incident last week. She saw Six hurt, someone close to her, hurt by them. So she killed them all without hesitating.

Though truth be told, she didn't have to kill them. It wasn't exactly a life or death situation with the other three men. They weren't going to hurt them anymore, they were about to leave. But she didn't want to let them go. She just didn't. Something in her urged her to do it.

She just wanted to send a message to whoever sent them. To not fuck with her or she'll blow them up to pieces. It worked, since no one has tried to come after her tonight.

Lloyd suddenly clears his throat. "I wasn't going to talk about it but I kind of have to. Elle, were there any witnesses earlier? Did you make sure no one saw you? You have to learn how to be clean in these sorts of situations. Six should've killed them. I think he'd be more discreet." he states, rudely.

She scoffs. "Discreet? Nothing about both of you says discreet. If Six had killed them, they'd make too much noise since they'd be beaten up by them. And no, no one saw us. We were in a secluded neighborhood before and that's where it all happened. We were sort-of distracted."

He frowns, leaning forward onto the table with his arms leaned on it. "Doing what?"

Six looks at him. "Walking." he interjects.

"Then how were you distracted?" he asks again.

Elle shrugs casually. "We just were. Anyway, if you're done with all the interrogation, I'm going to have dessert." she announces, rising up from her chair as she grabs her dirty plate.

Lloyd rolls his eyes. "It wasn't an interrogation. Just a simple question. That's it." he clarifies.

She walks to her kitchen, placing down the plate on the kitchen sink before walking to her small fridge and opens it to find sweet snacks. "I don't know, Lloyd. It sure sounded like one." she mutters softly.

"Fine. Maybe it was, but I needed to know why you were distracted. You both can't be distracted. You're on a goddamn mission." He states.

Elle frowns, turning to him with a small mango yogurt pack in her hands. "We weren't on a mission earlier. It was just a walk. For fuck's sakes, have you never had a single fucking normal walk in your life, Hansen? Why's it gotta be a mission with you all the damn time?" she snaps while opening her yoghurt and taking out the small plastic spoon inside of it.

"Because it's what we're here for." Lloyd says as a matter-of-factly.

She rolls her eyes. "Please. Spare me the bullshit of you actually taking this mission seriously when you didn't even want to be here in the first place." Elle retorts, taking a spoonful of the yogurt and tasting it.

"But I'm here now, aren't I? That's all that matters." he tells her, in a serious but soft tone.

She's speechless as she stands behind the fridge with her eyes glued to his. She has nothing else to say or to talk back. He is right. He hasn't tried to flee away from this country or rent a chopper or book a plane ticket to Paris or anywhere — because under any different circumstance, he would've done all that in a blink of an eye. But he is trying to take this mission seriously. He needs to. He still can't figure out why but he does. He needs this mission to work and to keep her safe.

She slowly nods. "Yeah, you're right." she softly mumbles, walking to her chair.

Lloyd's lips curve into a small, satisfied smirk. "Sorry, what was that? Couldn't hear you, sweetheart." he teases her as Six tries to hold in a soft laugh.

She huffs frustratedly. "You heard me, Lloyd. I know you did. Anyhow, want a mango yoghurt?" she offers him, lifting her yoghurt.

He shakes his head. "No thanks, I prefer a sweeter dessert." he teases her again, his smirk growing wider.

She rolls her eyes, shaking her head as her lips try to hide a smile. "Whatever. More to myself, I guess. After this, I'm going to get ready for bed. So, see you there." she tells both of them.

"We're going back to the penthouse first thing in the morning." Lloyd sternly tells them.

Elle nods. Six nods, too.

She sits back on her chair, turning to him with a tired smile on her lips while she shoves a spoonful of yoghurt into her mouth, carefully. Six stares down at her lips and there's nothing more he wants right now than to kiss those soft lips of hers, not giving a shit that Lloyd is right here with them. But of course, he can't. He's controlled. He has too much self control sometimes. More than he wants.

Kiss me.

His eyes are telling her something as she responds back with her eyes lighting up at his and her smile widening. She got his message. They're communicating with their eyes again. They don't know how exactly they're doing it but it's definitely not because of a spell she casted or one of her abilities. It's just their connection. It's weird, though. They've only known each other for two days and it already feels like their souls are attached together. But it's not that complicated. Their bond is simple. They both went through the same thing and want the same thing.

Comfort. And a little love, too.

They both could offer each other that.

Elle clears her throat. "I'm going to bed." she declares.

And do something before that.

***

The cold water from the shower hits her bare skin and she closes her eyes to let herself enjoy the nice sensation as she moves her face closer to the water while the world suddenly froze and went silent.

At least for her.

She can't hear anything now. Just the sound of water drowning her face, making everything around her sound muffled.

Six is outside, strolling around the area of her house to check for any unwanted intruders with one of the agents before letting himself sleep and relax.

Lloyd is outside too, but he's alone. He's getting some drinks before the local store closes. The store doesn't really sell a lot of choices for alcohol, especially for the specific expensive brands he wants. But at least he has something to get him through the night. He bought a bottle of whiskey and a few bottles of beers that he knows she likes. He's almost home now.

Elle retreats from the shower to grab her shampoo and body wash from the soap rack attached to the wall. Her bathroom is dark. She likes it that way when she's at home. Her room is already way too bright so it's enough light since she lets the bathroom door open wide.

She's not even aware that any of the guys could walk in right now and see her naked bare ass as her back is turned, even get a clear view of it too despite the darkness here. It's not that she's completely oblivious of their presence, it's that she just wants to forget about everything now by relaxing herself with a cold shower. She's still thinking about how easy she just killed four men today. And she doesn't even feel an ounce of guilt in her. Which is good. She was getting tired of guilt.

But now it makes her question herself. If she doesn't feel guilty of what she's done, then does she feel…satisfied with what she did? She knows that this wasn't exactly something that she would do for absolutely no reason. She did it for a completely reasonable reason. It had a purpose for what she did. It sent a message. It wasn't just revenge.

And it's not like anyone's judging her actions or punishing her for it. It's only her. She's the problem here. Her own problem.

As she pours the shampoo in her hand and scrubs it through her hair, she could hear the distinct sounds of her house door open and she could only guess if it's Six or Lloyd. She hopes it's Six so he could catch her like this. She'd been dying to touch him or at least kiss him properly but this could turn out better than that. Way better.

She gets closer to the shower again, letting the water wash the soap off of her hair and drowning her face against the water as she closes her eyes again, blocking out all the noises and trying to ignore the tingles in her stomach of waiting for Six to come in and see her naked like this.

The door opens and it's not Six.

It's Lloyd. Coming with the drinks. He didn't realize she was showering yet until he came in and closed the door casually.

He certainly did not expect the view he's seeing right now from the door. Perhaps, he should've knocked first. It is her room. Not his. Or theirs. Plus, he should've known better that she'd be showering. She did say that she was going to get ready for bed and obviously, she was going to shower. But it's not like he knew that she was going to shower right at this moment.

He's frozen in his tracks as his eyes slowly examine her back and bare ass while she showers. Her ass looks fucking amazing from this angle. It's perfect. Her jeans and cotton shorts aren't doing much justice showing the curves of her actual ass. Her back is completely clean. No scars or old wounds. She heals too quickly to keep them long enough. He could see the soap washing off from her hair. He doesn't even know why he's still staying here. He knows it's so fucking wrong to watch her like this. He shouldn't. But his entire body is betraying himself. It's refusing to move and walk away right now or pretend to not see her.

Fuck. Why does she torture me like this?

This is really testing him. The whole day, he's been restraining himself from his desire for her. The temptation of her. She's fucking irresistible. He wishes that she isn't but then that would make this entire mission boring and he'd probably flee this city right away if it was like that. Truth be told, he likes that he can't touch her or fuck her even though he so badly wants to. And he usually gets what he wants all the time.

But this time, he doesn't.

She hums a random song as she discards her face from the water and slightly smirks at the sound of a fast beating heartbeat in this room.

"Six? Is that you?" Elle asks.

Lloyd immediately turns away and walks to her desk, placing the drinks there.

"Nope. It's Lloyd. I got us drinks." he tries to keep his voice casual as if he didn't just see her bare naked ass just now.

She immediately frowns. She was expecting Six. Not fucking Lloyd. He's no fun for her. She's okay with him but she doesn't have the desire to kiss him or fuck him anymore. He was right when he told her that the fun's over after the night at the bar. He's too uptight for her.

And she doesn't think that he wants anything to do with her like that. She perceives Lloyd as a man who's disciplined in his job — even though his methods are rather messy and brutal but again, he still does his damn job no matter what. So, she thinks that fucking her would ruin his focus on the mission.

Six can compartmentalize well and differentiate between work and her and sex. That's why he's allowed himself to be with her now and she knows that.

"That's great. I'll be out in a minute!" she tells him before continuing to shower and to attempt to literally drown her frustration of not getting to have a little shower sex with Six tonight.

Lloyd clears his throat, opening a bottle of the whiskey he brought as he proceeds to gulp the drink as fast as he can while it burns his throat and drips on his stache.

He's going to need to drink this whole bottle if he's going to sleep in a bed next to someone he's got a hard-on for.

***

Sleep. Get through the night. That's all they have to do here.

Yet, none of them are even close to sleep now.

Elle is laying down between Lloyd and Six on her bed with them laying on their side.

They're all wide awake. Can't sleep at all.

The TV's on to help her sleep. The lights are switched off already. Even half of the agents are asleep in the guest bedroom and her dogs, too.

Everyone is asleep except for them.

Six is backed onto the wall, his hands tugging on her stomach as their legs are kind-of tangled together while they all share a thick blanket so Lloyd can't see that they're both too close.

"Go to sleep." she mumbles in the middle of their silence in this room.

Lloyd glares at her. "Are you talking to yourself? Because you're definitely not asleep either." he retorts.

"I do have a hard time sleeping. It's not because of this." Elle admits, not wanting to get into details of her pills.

Six leans closer to her ear. "Just try to sleep. Like last night." he whispers softly in her ears and she hums in response, laying on her side facing Lloyd because this is her comfortable sleep position.

Lloyd squints his eyes at both of them, skeptically. They're way too close and he could see that now. They're definitely fucking.

He gently scoffs. "You guys are fucking. I knew it." he accuses in a less harsh tone he usually uses.

Her head turns to him immediately with a scowl on her face. "Fuck off, Lloyd."

"I wish I could. But I'm stuck here, Elle." He says her name in a harsh way as she rolls her eyes at him.

Six says nothing. They've kind-of discussed this already and even though he was real subtle and vague about it, he should've connected the dots already. Lloyd asked him if he was willing to share earlier. He knows. He's just trying to make her confess it herself. But before he's going to force a confession out of her, Six needs to stop that.

He tiredly sighs, lazily moving his hand up from her stomach to her chest as he tugs her closer to him until their bodies are pressed against each other and she gasps softly at his sudden action. Lloyd can clearly see his hand outside of the blanket and he's doing this on purpose. She caught him staring at them as she quickly looked away from his eyes pining hers.

"You got a problem with it?" Six asks, glaring at him, curiously.

He breaks into a short chuckle. "No, as long as you don't fuck during missions." Lloyd retorts.

She laughs softly. "Well I can't promise you that especially when I have a spell that could literally cloak us, make us invisible. But I'm joking. Obviously." Elle jokes with an easy smile on her lips for both of them.

Six chuckles quietly, burying his face against her hair. She smells of her fresh shampoo and her body wash as her hair is still a little wet from her shower. She smells like lavender and something fruity. She smells sweet, just like how he likes it. He's addicted to her smell, ever since that night in the bar.

"Wouldn't mind if you weren't." he murmurs into her ears as quietly as possible and thanks to the sound of the TV, Lloyd can't hear it at all.

That's a sweet lie. He would never fuck up missions like that. It's not very him. Missions are extremely important to him — even if it's the easiest one. Though, that's something Lloyd would probably do if the mission is too easy and too boring for him. He did it once or twice without anyone knowing, somewhere in Finland, a few months ago.

Lloyd huffs softly. "Can we all agree that we should sleep, like now?"

Elle nods at him. "Yes. Absolutely. We have training tomorrow, right?" she asks.

"Yeah. I'll be training you. Six can watch." he replies in a not-so uptight tone as if he's almost...teasing.

She giggles quietly. Six chuckles through his nose. It's a silly moment. But a pleasant one. Because after this, after they start working on missions, it won't be so nice and peaceful and loose and chill anymore. It'll be serious and tense. Maybe it'll even change things between them. Elle won't change, though. She's not used to changes. She likes to be consistent and stay on the same track no matter what and she's determined on it, too.

Six is used to change. Lloyd, too. Their life is always changing, moving from another country to another. But they both don't want any of this to change. It's nice, it's normal. And it's probably the only nice and normal thing that they have in their life right now. It's closest to it, at least.

Her. Elle. She's their normal.

"I'm sleeping." she declares before she moves her body closer to Six even though they're already stuck like glue together as she finally closes her eyes, her head relaxing into her pillow and she lets out a soft sigh and he looks down at her with a small and relaxed smile on his lips.

Lloyd's tired eyes stare at her for a while to appreciate this despite all of his grumbles and complaints earlier, he gets to see her for the last time of the day and tomorrow morning, she'll be the first for him to see. He's never slept with anyone — actually sleeping with them, tangled in a bed with them and waking up next to them. He's never done that. He doesn't like that.

But he makes an exception for this. Not like he had a choice. He wasn't going to sleep on the floor or the chair.

Six likes her because he gets to enjoy the little and normal things in life with her. Like sleeping next to someone for nights just for comfort and not because they've just fucked and it's a one-night stand — he's always had one-night stands, it was easier for him because of his life, no, his work. His own life revolves around his work so he can't really call it his life — he doesn't have one.

Lloyd and Six catch each other staring at her at the same time. They say nothing because they do not want to wake her and disrupt her precious sleep. They care about her too much to do that.

"You two, sleep. I can still hear your heartbeats that are very much awake." she tells them with her eyes still closed and both of them glare down at her in sync.

"Your super senses are starting to get annoying." Lloyd barely says as he is already tired but he's forcing his eyes to open and she could tell.

"Go to sleep, Lloyd." she says and he grunts in response.

Six plants a soft kiss on her hair before shutting his eyes and letting sleep take over him. Lloyd takes after him, closing his eyes and allowing his whole body to relax and finally sleep, right next to her.

They're finally asleep. At ease. Calm. Tranquil. Quiet.

[multigenderswag]

A Bisexual Bigendered Performance Piece

By Nadyalec

Trikone Magazine Vol. 14, No. 3: Gender Mischief (1999)

I am my father's son.

My father's father died when he was a baby. And his favorite sister, Nadya, died a few years later. He told me that at her funeral he lay on the floor and told everybody he was dead, too. But the adults just kept stepping around him. I keep thinking of him lying there on the floor looking up at the long legs of adults walking around him. He doesn't believe in God, has told me that he wishes he could, but faith has been missing in him since childhood.

He was sent off to boarding school, where he says the other boys were very tough. But they left him alone because his teachers respected his intelligence, and he learned to seem calm no matter how he was feeling.

His intelligence and his reserve kept him safe, and he learned never to show loneliness or weakness.

As a young man he came to this country to go to get his PH.D. in Economics in Texas. He was an ardent socialist, and he used to tell me stories about how members of his socialist group would be exiled for disagreements over a single word or a single point. It reminds me of my time in lesbian activism.

Because his English wasn't good yet, he says that sometimes he went throughbooks looking for sentences to cut out to put together papers. I think about that when￾ever I put together a zine.

I am my father's son. I have his reserve, his intelligence, his quickness in reading others' emotions. I have his respect and belief in words and ideas. But I am also vulnerable in the way that he could never afford to be. When I'm a boy, I'm a very delicate one.

I am my mother's daughter.

This weekend my mom helped me move again. She, my new housemate, my brother and I flung around furniture, roped my mattress, to the car, and basically built up some muscle strength. My mom's helped me with every move over the last couple years, and there've been lots of them. Not bad for a woman past 50.

Since I was a kid my mom has done all the heavy lifting at my parents' house, mowing the lawn and clipping the hedges while my dad was inside reading a book. I remember her grunts meant to rebuke him whenever she did something especially hard-this was the work that the men in her family had always done. But if my dad wouldn't do it, then she would, definitely, no matter how much it hurt. She had her uterus removed a couple of years ago. I never really got the whole story since I was away at college. Apparently her uterus collapsed years ago, from all the heavy lifting she does, and she just ignored the pain for years. I'm not sure what made her finally listen to the doctors and have it out.

I inherited that too. I hurt myself a lot, walk into doors, lift things I shouldn't, ignore pain. Learned not to take painkiller when I was growing up, and not to mention anything hurt unless it was killing me. The time my father met me in the emergency room after I was punched in the jaw, I wound up comforting and calming him while waiting for an x-ray. That's a particularly horrible thought to me now, me speaking words of comfort through grind￾ing, broken bones. I've tried to chill out since then. You can take macho too far.

Still, when one of my fag friends comes up to me, lifts me and swings me around in greeting, I'll be damned if I'm not going to do the same. I don't care if he is four times my size. I may be small and cute but I am a tough woman. I'm my mother's daughter, after all.

I am a woman.

It had been a long time since I had a girlfriend. I think of it like a desert, miles of hot sand with the occasional patch of green. That was me, wandering in my celibacy, with these rare and precious one time things. We had been flirting a lot, this whole do I like her, does she like me, what are we going to do about it thing. And I had been talking about how much I wanted to try pouring wax on somebody ever since that party when those women did it to me. She was interested, and it seemed like something sexy but safe we could do, cause both knew we weren't going to be lovers. So I'm coming home from band practice, taking these long easy curves on the Beltway, thinking about her naked on my bed. Got home and she and my housemate had melted the candle in a pot of boiling water, with much joking we made it into the bedroom. I kicked my housemate out while she was undressing because he was being too sarcastic.

She has a beautiful body. So many curves and roundnesses. Generous and lush. She lay on her back and let me pet her, run my fingers over her smooth skin. I was telling her how gorgeous she is, how glad I was to touch her.

I started out very gentle with the wax, pouring from high up so that it could cool on the way down, watching it flow onto her and smoothing it with my hands. It was warm, and so was she, and I got caught up in seeing how close I could get the candle to her skin before pouring, watching the way it ran and folded onto her body, the patterns that it made. I hadn't know how she'd like the pain, but she was making these sounds that told me she did, and I was awed by her strength and bravery, by how close she let me get to her clit.

Fucking is too intimate for a one-time thing. I get lonely afterwards. But I wanted to so bad, and so did she, and I couldn't stop myself. Her warmth and moisture on my fingers. Me pushing her open, that tight sweet place opening for me. Everything going hazy and sharp at the same time, and me just wanting it to go on forever, listening to every word, every sound, and wanting it never to stop.

Afterwards I lay on top of my housemate, holding him down with my body while she hit him with my riding crop. And we got dressed, and went to this bar, and I got sad because she's not my girlfriend and never will be.

Next time I melted that candle I dis￾covered how well wax bolds scent: it smelled exactly like her.

l am a boy.

… I didn't think he would ever letme touch him because I know that he's straight. I don't understand why he hangs out with me, why he keeps letting me tag along, going to movies with him and his roommates. It's hard to talk when he's in the room.

This one night, after the movie, all his roommates gradually crashed, leaving me more and more alone with him. I was afraid he'd hear my breathing change, hear my heart. Finally he told me to come upstairs with him and he showed me some pictures of his family in Puerto Rico, told me stories about them. I didn't sit too close but he put his hand on my leg. I kept looking between the pictures and his jeans, the seams and creases. I knew it was dangerous, but I couldn't stop looking.

"Go on," he said quietly, when he caught me looking. I turned bright red and looked away. Couldn't think of anything to say.

He put his hand on the back of my neck. Left it there for a long time, then started pressing down. I put my head against his jeans and just lay there, getting warmer and warmer.

The whole time I was sucking him I just kept thinking, I can't believe it, I can't believe he's letting me do this. Velvet and hard and salty and sweet and I always thought he was straight. Same way I feel now, y'know?

This is so beautiful I want it to last forever, and at any second I'm afraid that I'll have to stop.

[positivelybeastly]

48, 50 for the diary prompt!

From the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning's digitised archives, secured under Lockbox Protocol O5-Ω - attempting to access this file prompts a digital avatar of Hank McCoy to pop up, advising that children of the atom best leave well alone. It then prompts you to complete the following quote:

"Those who leave mysteries unexplored are like - "

_________ ENTER?

Upon entry of the answer, "caged birds who think that their cage don't have locks.”

Entry 2015-04-03, voice-to-text:

Begin recording.

John F. Kennedy once said, that “change is the law of life and those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”

With all due respect to the man, at this very moment, I think I'm somewhat pleased he was shot in the damned head, because if he thinks he knows a thing about change, then he can just sit and spin in his grave with his incomplete skull fragments rattling around in his coffin.

[Transcription note: sounds of heavy breathing, animal snarls.]

. . . Apologies to John F. Kennedy.

I . . . have undergone another mutation.

Of course I have.

My only solace at current is that I can't quite blame myself. All I did was run headlong into danger to try and save an incredibly beautiful woman from being run through with a sword. Why, that makes me sound positively heroic, doesn't it? It completely skips the part where I utterly failed, she died, and I almost went with her.

Sage didn't tell me what she'd done until long after. When there was an ocean between us. Perhaps she knew that if she were in my vicinity when I realised she had triggered a secondary mutation, that I would have killed her. I would have reached over, grabbed her by the shoulders, dug my claws in until she bled like an over-ripe fruit, opened my too large jaw, and bitten her damned head off.

[Transcription note: unintelligible, resuming dictation at recognisable audio.]

. . . Apologies, to . . . Sage.

Actually, scratch that, she may continue to go fuck herself. I think I would rather death than whatever this is. Whatever I am now.

Have you ever had a dream where you think your teeth have fallen out? Apparently it's quite common. The psychological read is that it's meant to symbolise a fear of losing something valuable.

My teeth fell out while I was asleep. I woke to the taste of blood in my mouth, and I thought, well, isn't that strange? Isn't that just a bit odd? Isn't this just a lovely dream I can't wait to wake up from?

I opened my mouth, and out they came, pop, pop, pop, gleaming white and covered in blood. I could see the gristly nerve endings still curled around the roots.

But my mouth was still full. And I didn't wake up. I nearly bit through my own tongue, clean. My teeth are so much sharper now, I didn't realise my own strength. My claws can rend metal. They can certainly rend flesh, I've tested it. My eyes glow when I look in the mirror. The pain, the shaking, the body tremors, the feeling of my limbs warping, my bones cracking, my skin shifting . . . it's almost bearable, but.

I think I've lost something quite valuable. And I'm - not sure I'm ever going to get it back.

End recording.

Entry 2020-06-07, voice-to-text:

This, is . . . likely to be my final entry, in this log. For those of you who comb through it, looking for answers as to why I didn't tell you I was dying when I had two weeks notice, well, congratulations, you've finally realised that I'm not always going to be around and now you have to find another pet genius to shove in the damned basement.

[Transcription note: sounds of pain, clattering, heavy breathing.]

My official diagnosis, if you care for it, will be massive cardiac arrest following a drawn out period of . . . well. What's the dosage on these painkillers again, I haven't even been keeping track . . .

Oh.

Well, we're just going to not mention that, actually, that's unhelpful.

Anyway.

My leading theory at present is that extended exposure to the Phoenix Force inhabiting the body of Scott 'can go fuck himself' Summers has triggered a sympathetic mutagenic response in my already morphagenetically fluid X-gene. He wanted more mutants, well, there's a price to pay for that, Scottie, you can just add another blue furred X-Man to your bodycount.

[Transcription note: sound of metal bending, heavy breathing.]

. . . That's, unkind. Possibly true, but unkind. Apologies, this log is going to be of limited use to you - Kitty? Is it Kitty listening to this? I really do hope it's not Bobby, A) because it's not fair to you, and B) because you aren't going to understand half the things I say in this log. Nyeh nyeh.

[Transcription note: lengthy pause.]

Um.

Oh, god, this is how I know it's the end, I'm using the word um. Henry Philip McCoy doesn't use the word um, he is deliberate and confident in his use of words and he does not use the word um.

There you go, something you can put on my tombstone, just remember to change the verbs, please, I think I might have to haunt you if you use incorrect grammar on my tombstone.

[Transcription note: scattered laughter.]

Look, I'm . . . I'm sorry. Perhaps I should have told you all, but, quite frankly, I'm the only person on Earth who could have possibly fixed this, and the fact that I haven't means it's . . . let's be diplomatic, because you're likely grieving - means it's not looking good.

I wish I could leave you all so much happier than I know you are. I know this is going to hurt, another person gone so soon, but there really is nothing I can do, any more than there was anything I could do about any of the rest of it. I feel as though I've failed you - I was one of the originals, one of the oldest, certainly the brightest, and I just . . . haven't been very good, have I?

Oh, it's stopped hurting for a bit, that's nice.

[Transcription note: soft, ragged breathing.]

. . . Mmm.

Mm.

Oh, sorry, nearly - drifted off there.

I know this is going to sound silly, but, there really doesn't feel like there's much I can say - or, maybe that's just an incoming stroke, robbing me of my usual proclivity for sesquipedalian loquaciousness.

Oh, that sounds a bit more like me, doesn't it?

I love you. All of you.

[Transcription note: ORORO MUNROE CALLING.]

Hm? What?

[purplydragonfly]

Is it possible? /xicheng

In the darkness of the night, a leap of moonlight gets through the hospital window allowing him to see the person that had fallen asleep on his hand. As someone who uses aptitude for living, This is the first time in a decade he doesn't know what to do.

This person is the only one he has ever fallen in love with. The only person who he would never imagine being in with. His first love.

'Lan Xichen' why are you here? Jiang Cheng looked at him like a fool for a long time saying nothing. He tries to get his hand off the other person. But then can't resist stoking his hand on the doctor's silky long hair.

'You having cut it even if thousand years have passed" JC giggles.

Suddenly to his surprise, Doctor Lan grab his hand tightly, looking straight into his eye.

"Jiang Cheng, how do you feel right now?" "Any pain? Do you want a painkiller?" asked the Doctor.

JC shakes his head in return. To be honest he isn't used to being worried by someone for a long time. The lasted one he remembers was Jinling's in his past life. 'But I guess my appearance right now wasn't the best. Haha' There are bandages all over his body, arm, and leg. But the most serious one was, His left eye was badly damaged.

Lan Xichen starts to examine the one on the hospital bed with his pen flashlight as all the doctor does but JC pushes his hand away. "No need, I'm not planning to stay for long."

"I won't allow you to leave" the older one insisted "As your doctor, I can't let you out until you are fully healed"

".. mind your business doctor, Don't get yourself involved in the thing you don't know" JC warned. "It won't be safe for anyone if I was here too long"

"No one will know, This is my family Hospital" "I know you don't want anyone from your family to know, right?" LXC made sure of that the minute he took him in. For many years, he always heard about the missing youngest Jiang. We all have memories from our last life. But no news of the second pregnancy from madam Jiang, Which is why he often saw her and her daughter, Jiang Yanli, crying.

"There no need to know I existed. Nobody has to care about me." Jiang Cheng is about to get out of his bed again But no slower than LXC. He pushes his shoulder down onto the bed.

"...I do, I care about you." "I insisted that you rest until you fully recovered. Jiang Cheng. No one will know you are here, Please." His golden eye stares straight into his eye, making sure he knows his honesty.

And it worked, JC sit back down. "It's just Cheng now. I don't want to use their family name."

"Okay A-Cheng, I will make you trust me on this. Now take some rest. I'll be checking up on you again in the morning." LXC smile.

"...You can sleep here doctor Lan if you want." "Your eye looks so heavy"

"Haha, Do I look that bad?"

I just saw that there are so many misspelled words. So sorry.

The next day, Doctor Lan left early in the morning. But came back with two bowls of breakfast and a cup of pills. At first, A-Cheng was so confused why LXC did that, Isn't it the nurse's job?

But the Great doctor Lan said, "You don't want anyone to know, Do you?" That shut the patient up for a moment. He didn't expect to be talked back like that by LXC. Time does change people.

A-Cheng look at the rice bowl in front of him before picking up chopsticks to eat it But his hand was abnormally trembling and it was quite hard to presume how far it is. He miss it several times due to bad eyesight. And at some point, he just sight and give up.

But Xichen wouldn't let that happen. He scoops food into A-Cheng's bowl and put it near his lip.

"Here."

"What do you think you're doing??!!!"

"Feeding you. Come on, you have medicine to have after breakfast too."

"You don't have to do this. I can eat it myself." JC said it shyly.

"But your hand, isn't it hurt?"

"No, it doesn't"

"Don't be stubborn with me, A-Cheng"

"How dare you!!"

"You are like a stubborn child who doesn't want to eat a vegetable."

"LAN-XI-CHEN!! I AM NOT A CHILD!"

"Then eat" the food is delivered to the patient's mouth one more time but this time he accepts it without any words

"Good Boy" Lan Huan smiled then continued to feed him. "If you continued to be a Good boy, I will give you something to read while you here."

"Oi, I'm not your dog." JC sigh. Why did he feel like LXC treats him like one? Make him do something and then give him snacks.

Doctor Lan didn't say anything after. He cherished those simmering cheeks.

[hunting-songs]

"Senritsu…" Kurapika's voice was soft, almost as if he didn't want to disturb the tranquility of the sunset that dyed the small kitchen of the hotel room a warm orange color. An orange color that almost matched his eyes when he turned to see her. There was a small serious tone in his voice, though it was also mixed with determination, a determination as unwavering as when he went after someone who possessed a pair of scarlet eyes. "I would like to see your left arm again without the bandages" He knew what he had to see. He knew well that her arm was probably in even worse condition than that night on the rooftop. And he also felt somewhat regretful of the reaction he had that night. When he still retained some innocence and when the underworld had not yet consumed him. Today, after having faced death so many times, after being the one who inflicted physical harm or deterioration on other people, he wanted to be there for her, to be as she was and is at his side every moment, no matter what dangerous place he get into, no matter how loud other people's screams become. "Of course, if you don't mind" He knew that the best way was to start by becoming a little more familiar with what she experienced on daily and he was ready to face again what the Sonata of Darkness was capable of, and ask the questions that had been echoing in his head since that night.

Kurapikas heartbeat was clearly hearable, almost loud, almost deafening against the quietness of the kitchen electroncis buzzing. She heard his want, she heard his care, she heard his determination, and behind all this, quietly, barely noticeable, she heard something else. The 'something else' made Senritsu look up with a concerned line appearing at the corner of her mouth. In the evenign sh had taken a shower to wash away the ache in her back, put on her sleeping cloth and had joined Kurapika in the kitchen to have the favorite part of her day, sit with her colleagues before going to bed, talk a little, enjoy eachothers company, maybe drink a beer, maybe joke a little, maybe plan the next day as if they were normal colleagues in a boring office job and not members of the Mafia. But Kurapikas voice did not sounded like he was "talking a little", it did not sounded like "enjoying eachothers company", it did not sounded like "maybe drinking a beer", it did not sounded like "maybe joke a little", it did not sounded like "plan the next day".

"...you do not have to see that." The young woman said eventually after listening to his request- her voice was gentle and soft. There was no defense in that voice, no shame and no fear, just gentle honesty. Putting the towel she had used to dry her hair around her shoulders Senritsu sat down by the kitchentable, huffing a little because at the end of the day her once crushed and forcefully mended together back always felt as if it had turned into glasssplinters and even with the permanent humm in her voice soaked by her painkilling aura, there was still a quiet throbbing left in her bones. Strains of by the dampness slightly curled hair fell heavy over her shoulder and looked very red in the orange light washing deep and thick like oceanwater dyeing everything around them into the small kitchen: "Really, you do not have to. Its okay."

"It really is okay, I know what you think you have to do to feel closer to me or to support me, but you do not have to do that. I can hear what you want to do and what you feel very clearly and if I would ever not believe in what I am hearing in your heartbeat, I can always just ask and listen to your voice telling me." There was a amused shimmer in the musicians dark eyes when she added chuckling in all good humor: "Or maybe I would just do the same as you and read it in your eyes, though I need to step back a lot to be able to see those eyes without them beeing blurred." The chuckle died in her throat over not hearing what she wanted to hear in Kurapikas heartbeat and the woman stopped, gently shaking her head scoldingly over her own joke: "That was a bad joke. I am sorry." Kurapikas heartbeat still sounded the same as before. SHe heard his want, she heard his care, she heard his determination, and behind all this, quietly, barely noticeable, she heard a quiet melody of regret over how he had reacted "not appropriate" back in Yorkshin when she had showed him the cursemarks on her arm. Listening to that melody behidn that open care, made a worried line as deep as a scar appear between Senritsus big eyes.

"The matter is-" she sighed, automatically the woman started to tap a small melody against the edge of the kitchentable as if she could sooth that regretful melody she heard in the others chest: " I watched my best friends whole body twist into this. The body I had hugged since I was twelve. The body that I had leaned against whenever I was affannato. The body I would smack on the shoulder when Ask would be annoying or who I had lay my arms around when we were dancing or who I would look after when he was sick." The end of the bandage wrapped around her hand was dyed by the orange light and looked almost as if dyed with too much of a reddish tune to look comfortable. Senritsu sighed, closing the bandaged hand softly and opening it again as if she needed to test for a moment if she still could move those fingers just as she had done frantically, desperate, panicky when she had woken up in the hospital. Her fingers closed perfectly nimbly. After all, the cursemarks did not bit down her arm, but up. Towards her heart. Towards where they would be her death. Kurapika had had already met enoug death in his life, he did not needed to see this too. She did not wanted to hurt him, not now, not when he was caring so much, never. "Back in the hospital I was so scared of what this cursemarks were, that I did not dared to touch anyone. I did not knew how those scars worked and after what rules they play." Back in the Hospital Senritsu had been so scared that the scars were not just scars but infectious like a virus, that she had ran away when one of the nurses had wanted to change the bandage around her arm. At least she would have ran away, if she would have been already able to move with every one of her muscles ripped appart and brutally pressed into a new form and bones that still felt like glassplinters in her flesh. She still flinched back whenever someone would reach out for her arm with the sudden grasp of that fear and worry from back in the hospital closing icecold around her neck even now. "I still do not know. And it scares me. I am already ....mhmmmm con giovialità that I am brave enough to touch you with my left hand." There was a rueful smile softening around the young womans round face and she reached with her left hand over the kitchentable, offering it for the other to hold : "It does not change the fact that you really do not have to see that. You do not have to share my fear just to show me that you care, Kurapika. I know that you do. You are already doing enough for me." [ @skarletchains ]

[jj-the-writer]

Chapter 5.

Warmth.

Tw: pills (painkillers lol)

The events of the last few days quickly became routine for Shelingia. The main events of every one of her days included her training session with Daryun and her punishment for not showing good enough results later at night. One of those days though was more interesting for Shelingia.

In one of their usual lessons, through their fight, Daryun noticed Shelingia was having trouble with managing her hair in their fight. He chuckled to himself silently, his mind wandering off, Shelingia saw the opportunity to strike while he was distracted, earning her a hit in the fight. Eventually their ten minute break came around, and Daryun took a deep breath and tried to initiate a conversation with the previously silent and stoic young girl.

Daryun: "Hey, I noticed you're having trouble with your hair during fights, it must be difficult to manage such long hair." He said amidst his heavy breathing trying to catch his breath.

Shelingia took a second, she focused on steadying her breathing before speaking.

Shelingia: "Uh... Yeah it's getting on my eyes a little bit." She replied while catching her breath and trying to mask the pain from her stomach.

Daryun: "You know, now that I look at you, your hair reminds me of someone!" He reminisced, smiling softly at the thought of that person...

Shelingia: "That so? My parents have said that it's... 'unique', so that's unexpected."

"Actually they've said it's disgusting, appalling and the result of some sort of mutation, but who am I to judge?" The sarcasm in her thoughts remains strong as ever.

Daryun: "Not because of the color, It's really rare for a young girl like you to have such white hair. I was referring more so to the other characteristics. You see, my daughter has the same long and straight hair just like yours, however it's brown like mine and she styles it differently." Daryun's voice sounds excited as he talks more about his daughter.

Shelingia: "Styles it differently? What do you mean?" Shelingia's curiosity for the phrase 'style one's hair' grew as he mentioned it.

Daryun: "Well actually, she styles it in twin french braids, her hair normally reaches to the middle of her back like yours but with the braids it's a little shorter and it doesn't bother her field of view."

Shelingia: "... What are french braids?" She asked in utter confusion.

Daryun: "Oh, well you see the hair is interwoven just like in regular braids but instead of braiding them at the edges of one's hair, they're braided attached to, and from the top of the head down to the nape!"

Shelingia looked at Daryun trying her hardest to understand what he had just described. Having never seen braids before and only know what they're like in theory, she's having trouble comprehending what a french braid is and what it looks like, but she likes the idea of not having her hair bother her constantly.

Shelingia: "That sounds nice." In the end she chose not to inquire any further on the topic of braids because she wanted to avoid sounding weird and 'uneducated' for something that he clearly considered well-known.

Daryun: "You know, now that I think more about it, you remind me of my daughter a lot, and I don't mean just the hair."

Shelingia's curiosity has been piqued once again by Daryun's words, but ultimately she decides to keep a low profile.

Shelingia: "How so?" She asked in a seemingly indifferent tone.

Daryun: "She's soft spoken and polite like you, she has a similar drive to you, she knows what she wants and she doesn't let things distract her... She's a great person and I can't wait to see her again."

Pondering at Daryun's words, Shelingia was intrigued how he could see his daughter in her, after all she's been abrupt and maybe rude towards him so far, she's been avoiding communication with him until now and the first time they met she stated she wanted to be done as fast as possible... And yet he sees his daughter, a person he clearly holds dear, in her. Frankly, she couldn't understand him, but she pushed that thought aside for now.

Shelingia: "Do you not see her often?"

Daryun: "I'm afraid not, I'm always busy at work... And now that I'm back in town to train you as I was ordered to, she's the one that's gone away in another city... But luckily she'll be back before I leave again, and I can't wait till I see my dear daughter again."

Shelingia can't help but choke a bit as she hears these words. She bites her tongue and opens her mouth once again.

Shelingia: "... As much as I'd like to hear more about your daughter, I think ten minutes have passed, we should get back to training."

Daryun apologizes for letting his mind wander and stands back up. Their training continued normally like nothing had ever happened. This little interaction Shelingia had with her teacher left her with a lot to think about. How life outside of this Lab must be drastically different than what she's used to, about all of the different people that are living their lives out there... And as the sun set and her mother came to visit again, she thought about what could she be doing so horribly wrong to be so strongly hated by her parents, when Daryun loved his daughter so dearly... No matter what she did, she's always been hated by her parents, or at best tolerated by them. Wondering what that care and love Daryun held for his daughter could possibly feel like, she let herself drift off to sleep. She couldn't help but feel a bit jealous, an emotion she hadn't experienced ever before...

The next day eventually came, and anticipation raised for today's lesson. Daryun entered the training hall right on time like he always did and after simple greetings from the both of them, they got straight to fighting like normally. Shelingia's performance was getting steadily better, some days were better than others but she never fell too far behind. Like always, the time came for their scheduled ten minute break.

Daryun fell back and sat down to rest for a bit, he grabbed a water bottle from his bag and drank half of it.

Daryun: "Wow Shelingia, you're getting better by the day! I'm starting to have trouble avoiding you!" With the biggest smile, Daryun attempted to start a conversation again.

Caught off guard, Shelingia kept trying to catch her breath. She was focused on her breathing so it took her a few seconds to take in what Daryun had told her. Not knowing how to take the compliment, she ended up fumbling her words.

Shelingia: "Uh, well I- I'm trying so... It's good to hear I can... do something now..." Despite having accepted the compliment, Shelingia didn't let herself get too carried away. "I'm having trouble hitting you too, your skill is evident, although that has been clear for a while now." Shelingia attempted to compliment Daryun back as she felt the need to.

Quickly though, Shelingia was brought back to reality from her stomachache, and after saying that she downed a painkiller while drinking her water, trying her best to not let Daryun notice.

Meanwhile Daryun was very excited, he felt like he was slowly making her bring down her walls. He wasn't going to let this chance go by!

Daryun: "You know, training with you is very exciting, you have a very unique way of acting in combat, I've never seen anyone fight like you before! Although I suppose that's to be expected considering you have a haunt."

Shelingia: "Um... Thank you Daryun, you're too kind..."

Daryun: "Well it's true, Shelingia! I think it's really impressive, the way your power manifests in flames I mean... Can you use your powers in any other scenarios outside of combat?" Daryun is trying very hard to keep this conversation going.

The both of them ended up talking for the entirety of their break, and Daryun even stayed for a bit longer after the lesson to talk more, they talked a good while about Shelingia's powers, about Daryun's daughter and the surprise party he's preparing for her arrival. Shelingia was having trouble communicating a lot of the time so Daryun did most of the talking but that's not to say Shelingia didn't have fun in their talk. She felt... Appreciated, for what's certainly the first time in her life! In the end, when Daryun had to go he extended his hand towards Shelingia and spoke.

Daryun: "It was nice talking to you, Shelingia." He gushed with a bright smile on his face.

At that moment, Shelingia felt... Warmth... For this moment only, the cold walls of the lab and the cold shoulders of her parents didn't exist at all, what existed was a warm feeling of appreciation.

She smiled, and she extended her hand to his for a handshake that meant more to her than the previous 16 years of her life.

Shelingia: "It was nice talking to you too, Daryun."

From this day forward, Shelingia's training sessions became something to look forward to, they were no longer a chore to please her parents, they became something she enjoyed doing greatly. Her talks with Daryun were the light shining in her dark routine. Shelingia grew so much closer to Daryun with every day that passed, they even started high-fiving each other at the start and the end of every one of their lessons. A simple gesture, but one meaningful enough to Shelingia that it kept her going every day.

[tumsa]

i didn’t plan to write more but my hand slipped. i blame @snailsweater​ for being so sweet in the tags, and maybe billie eilish a little bit for writing the 'i love you' song that ends me every time i hear it. and tumblr user kinnbig who talks about big and makes my poor little heart ache. my love language is writing random stuff in people's dms (or posts), and i am not even sorry.

- - - "You're an idiot," Chan says because the nurse is too polite to do that. Big's abdomen feels like it's been lit on fire, but the fresh dressing is stark white and sterile, and Big can recount all the things used to clean his wounds and how it happened. He thinks, hopes he can do it for Ken now.

"Sorry," he says because he cannot say, "I tore my stitches while cleaning the staircase so my neighbours don't freak out and call the police."

"What happened?" Chan, of course, asks. He does sound more worried than suspicious. It's the first time they've seen each other since Big got shot, since Big willingly took a bullet in hopes that Tawan could not destroy Kinn's life again. Big looks away before he encounters pity in Chan's gaze.

He doesn't know how to lie to Chan. It feels like lying to Kinn too much. It feels like walking on a tightrope made of razor blades.

"I want more time off," he finally says. It's not untruth, but it's not something Big would ever say. He never asks for anything, never wants anything other than protect Kinn, he expects Chan to shoot him just then and there.

But Chan just looks at him for a long time, then coughs, clears his throat and sounds almost choked up when he says: "You could have just asked, Big. You saved Porsche’s life, Khun Kinn will give you anything you want, kid."

Somehow it feels worse than a bullet for betrayal would have.

- - - Ken is asleep when Big returns. He is pale, almost lifeless, but his chest moves slowly with each inhale and exhale. He looks dead and still might die, Big knows. There might be internal bleeding, blood loss, infection. There might also be a bullet from Kinn or Vegas. Or Big might wrap his hands around Ken's throat and squeeze until there's no life left.

Don't let your emotions distract you from work, Chan would say, so Big unpacks everything and puts it on a plastic tray, on the mattress. He washes his hands with scolding hot water and soap that smells like the hospital and puts on gloves.

He works slowly to ensure he gets things right, and because his stomach still burns, even sitting on the floor next to the mattress feels like it's taking too much strength. One by one, with long pauses in between, Big cleans the gashes, wipes away the dried blood, and removes the makeshift dressing he did earlier from kitchen towels. He stitches up the more extensive wounds, trying to repeat the pattern he saw the nurse doing and mostly failing. They will scar horribly, he thinks before he remembers that Ken probably won't live that long.

He has to stop to drink water and take painkillers for his own wounds. He finds some protein bars that are not expired in a cupboard and eats one of them mindlessly. He starts to cry when putting on a new pair of rubber gloves; when he returns to the bedroom, and Ken still looks like a broken body with no life left in it.

"I hate you," he whispers as he struggles to put on the dressing around Ken's stomach and chest. He is heavy, and lifting him pulls at Big's stitches, and the bandage keeps slipping, and Big would punch him if there was a patch of skin not covered in cuts on Ken's body.

"I hate you so much," he says again, using a damp cloth to clean Ken's face.

"I wish I had never met you," when cleaning the incisions around Ken's cheek and eye.

"I hope you die," through more tears when Ken doesn't wake up and open his good eye.

- - - It's dark outside when Big wakes up. He lets go of Ken's wrist and turns on the small lamp on the floor next to the mattress. He never bought a bed or a nightstand table, and he never will now, not when he might not live until the end of the month.

Ken is awake. He is looking at Big, and his gaze looks hollow. Big gets the water bottle and painkillers he left beside the lamp. Ken takes the pills and lets Big give him water.

"If you want me to leave," Ken starts, and Big laughs. It's a bitter and nasty laugh, and Ken winces. Big is pretty sure Ken could not even get up from the mattress.

"If you pull the stitches," he says, because he spent hours patching Ken together, "I will call Vegas myself."

"As if you have his number," Ken says.

"But you do."

Ken looks away, and Big regrets being mean. He thinks about Kinn, how he got cold and vicious after he shot Tawan years ago, and how Kinn built a wall, leaving Big on the other side. He thinks about how Ken could always find a way to make Big laugh when Kinn scolded him for making mistakes. How Ken kissed him when Kinn wouldn't. How Ken-

"You need rest," he says, trying to sound less sour. They have never been gentle with each other; Big doesn't know how to be soft and kind. But he does know how to protect someone he loves. "Take the other pills, those are for infection. I'll get us some food."

He leaves the bedroom, pretending not to see tears on Ken's face, and closes the door behind him with a soft click. Not for the first time, he wonders how he got here, willing to take a bullet for the person behind the trigger.

Big takes a deep breath, then another. Food first, he thinks, then transport, money, and a safe place next. He will fall apart later when they escape the country, when Ken is safe.

He exhales and gets to work.

*smooches you on the cheek* i hope you have a lovely day!

- - -

"Who is the new guy?" 

Big regrets the question the moment it leaves his dumb mouth because Chan tilts his head and looks at him with knowing eyes. 

"Big," he says, and his voice is stern. His eyes are steely, and Big can feel them unravel everything he is trying to hide away; everything he promised wouldn't be a problem.

A few meters away from them, Kinn laughs so openly and joyously that it stings. 

Chan sighs and turns back to his tablet. Only when Big turns to leave he says: "His name is Tawan."

The way Kinn looks at Tawan makes Big sick. The way Tawan looks at Kinn makes an uneasy feeling crawl into Big's gut. 

- - -

"Who is the new guy?" 

The new guy is sitting at the edge of the pool and grinning. His dark hair is dripping water everywhere as he runs his fingers through them all pretend casual. He winks at Pete, whose record so far has been undefeated, and Big thinks he looks like a certified fuckboy.

"Ken," Arm whispers, quiet enough so Ken cannot hear them. And then, because Arm likes to gossip, he adds: "He's been staring at you all morning."

Big glances up and catches Ken's eyes on him. There is a pink flush on Ken's cheeks as he bites his lip and quickly looks away. 

"Cute," Arm says next to him, and Big bites the inside of his cheek to stop the stupid smile that wants to sneak onto his face. He feels warm. Nobody has ever looked at Big like that.

- - -

"Take the day off," Ken pleads again. He has argued about this all morning, talked about how Big needs a break, how he looks exhausted and how Ken knows he didn't sleep well. "Come on, mate, just today."

Big sighs. "I can't, not with Tawan being here."

"Please," Ken says in English, and it startles Big. Not the English, as Ken constantly swears in it, but the way Ken sounds distressed, the way he looks at Big with wide eyes, and the way his fingers are gripping Big's arm so tightly that there will be bruises. 

"Is everything okay?" Big asks because he knows he is missing something, something important. Ken is shaking as he lets go of Big's arm like it physically pains him to move his fingers, and then he smiles. It doesn't reach his eyes, and he looks down before Big can see them.

"Forget about it. It's fine," Ken says, and his voice is raspy. "Just don't do anything stupid because of Tawan."

Big cannot guarantee that, so instead, he says: "I'll see you later tonight."

Later, when Big takes a bullet aimed at Porsche, he wishes he wouldn't have made a promise he couldn't keep.

Later, when Chan says, "Ken was working for Vegas", Big wishes Tawan was a better shooter.

- - -

Big's apartment looks as sad and pathetic as he feels. He doesn't spend time here more than once a month, doesn't share it with anyone, and never bothered to furnish it properly. He sits on the sofa and stares at the empty wall because there's nothing else to do, nowhere else for him to be. He feels hollow, wonders if the doctors put him back together wrong.

"Take a week off," Kinn has said, voice sincere and sad. "You deserve it."

"I should have known," Big had whispered, trying to hold back his tears, and wondered if that's how Tawan's betrayal felt. And then, because he couldn't stop thinking about it, he had said: "He wanted me to take a day off." Kinn had patted his shoulder awkwardly before leaving. 

Big wonders if he can just sleep for a week, if any of the painkillers can do that for him, or if he can get his hands on some sleep medicine or something.

The knock on the door startles him.

He gets up slowly. His stomach still hurts, and so does his arm. He leaves the gun on the coffee table. If anyone wants to kill him, Big thinks, he wouldn't mind. He opens the door.

Ken is bleeding. His face is purple and bruised, and one of his eyes is swollen shut. His shirt is soaked with blood, and it's dripping everywhere. He is trembling.

"I didn't know where else to go," he finally whispers, voice hoarse and broken.

Big feels like he is being shot all over again. He wants to slam the door close, he wants to get the gun he left behind and kill Ken himself. He wants to ask why, he doesn't want to know the answer, but mostly he just wants to pretend that nothing has changed, that everything will be alright. Slowly he moves and opens the door wider. 

"Come in," he says.

anon i am smooching you on the mouth i can’t believe you just dropped this masterpiece anonymously in my ask box i am emotionally devastated. come back pls i’m losing my mind?!