#look its funny at first but its getting repetitive now...

[xiaxiaoyin]

i wish people see the wuwa casts as their own characters, not just some "copycat" of certain characters in other gacha games just because they have the same color palette :/

[plutoswritingplanet]

Vicarious (Homelander x Female!Reader) pt.4

a/n: a short conclusion for the last chapter, before i finish a more story-heavy one, deeply inspired by "Two Against One" by Jack White

Warnings: Masturbation (again, wow), Explicit Language, Alcohol Use, Very Creepy Behavior, Plus Sized Reader, Inappropriate Relations With A Marble Wall, Suggestive Themes

Summary: Both you and Homelander get increasingly confused about what you truly are. None come out unscathed.

Pt. 1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.5

The vulnerability of drunkenness looks good on you. 

At first, you're none the wiser. As your limbs uncurl from around Homelander, your feet hitting the polished floor of his penthouse. Stomach flipping around, you fight with all your strength not to fall to your knees, as the shock of being shot out through the air slowly subsides. Homelander starts pacing around the living area, an excitable spring in his steps, as he makes his way towards the rather well-stocked liquor cabinet. Were you more vigilant, perhaps you would've read this action for what it truly was, but as it stands, the realization is postponed for a few seconds more. 

Glasses clink somewhere behind you, but you're too focused on steadying your breathing to notice. Your vision is swimming, the blurred outline of a gigantic American flag, hanged on the wall in front of you, makes you want to jump out that stupid window. The repetitive pattern twists your brain around.

- Ugh... Jesus - you throw the offending piece of cloth a withering look.

- If you're going to be sick, do it in the bathroom - Homelander barks, keeping himself out of your field of vision. 

- I'll be fine, don't wo... - okay, you cut yourself off because maybe you're not fine after all. 

A second passes, as you try to identify, if the feeling inside your chest is an omen of oncoming vomit. 

No, it's good, you're okay. 

Your eyelids are so incredibly heavy, it almost feels like your lashes are tangling together every time you blink, trying to force your eyes to stay closed. There's this strange taste in your mouth, a ghost of drinks past, mixed with some other, much more worrying substances you've enthusiastically consumed, and you smack your tongue against your pallet, running it over your teeth, as if to test if they're all set in place. Adrenaline gathers at the tips of your fingertips, and you shake your hands with a frown, fighting to rid yourself of this energy. Instead of helping, it only serves to make your stomach churn harder.

Traumatic experiences, such as being flown through the air at ungodly speed, should technically sober you up, but right now you feel like you've been funneling alcohol through a tube the entire night. Not entirely untrue, but you've never been a lightweight, so this sudden change of pace surprises and worries you. And there's one more thing. As your hands flail at your sides, checking your bearings, a sudden wave of realization hits you like a truck. 

Your bag. You forgot your bag at the party, and as such, your phone is lost too. Which wouldn't be so bad, if you didn't have the combination for the door of your room in the Tower saved in the notes. Your head starts to hurt, eyes closing shut, as you try to will the numbers into your brain. They were funny, you made them into a joke, you just don't remember which one. 

- Fuck... - you sigh, scratching at the back of your neck, where your sweat is rapidly cooling in the conditioned air of the penthouse. 

Which was it? Four numbers, significant ones. You chuckled to yourself when you first typed them into the lock, but it's so hard to focus on anything other than staying upright.

- You okay there? - Homelander asks, and suddenly you're reminded that he's still here, with you.

Alone. 

It's not dread that climbs up your spine at the realization, not excitement either. What you feel, clawing its way through your insides like a feral beast, is a profound sense of acceptance. Blue and red invade your vision, as he moves to stand in front of you, pushing a chilled glass filled with amber liquid into your hand. On instinct, your fingers curl around it, but you can't seem to raise it to your lips, wondering, if this move will signal your defeat. His chest rises and falls evenly, as he stands so close to you, you can practically feel the heat coming off of him, along with that rich cologne, that surrounds you from every angle. 

There's a geometric pattern all over the blue parts of his costume, and your eyes fight against its movements in front of you. The padding on his chest and stomach is truly ridiculous, even in your sorry state you can realize the unnatural movements of his fake muscles over his skin. Really, you can't be the only person that's noticed this. 

- I forgot my phone from the party - your voice is so quiet, weak, and you can't seem to pinpoint, if it's Smirnoff's or Fireball's - I don't...

- I know - he interrupts you, inclining his head as if he's trying to entice you to look at him - You left it on a chair in the kitchen. 

You don't give yourself the luxury of confusion, because you should've known. You should've figured it out, the moment he fell from the sky, catching the vulnerability of the moment, and crushing it in his teeth. Of course, he was looking, listening in as well, most likely. Wouldn't be the first time, would it? Who else would've known to leak the contract information, mere hours after you've complained to your friend over the phone, by an open window no less? There's no allowance of betrayal for you, you knew from the start, and yet you've allowed yourself to be put in this situation. You placed your own hand into the maw of the lion, and now you're supposed to expect him not to snap his teeth?

 His hand comes up into your field of vision, those red, leather gloves creaking, as they wrap around your fingers holding the glass. You don't resist, when he guides your hand up, towards your lips, tips the glass against them, until the bitter liquid pours into your mouth, past your teeth. 

- Very good - he murmurs with a patronizing tone, watching your throat work, as you swallow around the burning sensation - Take it all in, champ.

And you do. You down the drink, until there's nothing left. His hand retreats, and your fingers relax, letting the glass fall onto the plush carpet. You need to lock Smirnoff, stuff her back into that box, hidden from sight, before anything progresses. But she just won't let go. She claws her way into your brain, screaming at you to do something, anything, before it's too late. 

This isn't you. You're not here. 

The familiar mantra falls short, as Homelander slowly starts to take off his gloves, one finger at a time. His hands are strong, pale, with slender fingers, that curl and uncurl around air, as if testing the tendons working under his skin. Your eyes glide over the movements, heart stopping for just a moment, when he holds out his right hand in front of your chest, just shy of touching. Wetting your lips with your tongue, you watch, as his fingers tremble with tension. He wants you to feel it, the anticipation of the inevitable. He wants you to break, he's only ever wanted a reaction out of you.

- Please, I don't... - your voice cracks like a window. 

You don't what? Want it? You're convinced there are no words in the world, that would stop him right now, and the muscles in your face twitch. The American flag behind his shoulder stares at you, the stripes suddenly becoming a flurry of motion, as he pushes his hand against your chest. You don't fight it, letting him guide you all the way across the room, until your back reaches the wall, slamming into it with a dull thud. Despite that, the unrelenting force behind his movements makes you acutely aware of his true strength, the sheer lack of humanity inside this man in front of you. 

As soon as you're pressed against the wall, Homelander lurches forwards, his arms encircling your form completely, his face diving into the juncture between your neck and shoulder. Your entire body sways in place, as he takes a long, shuddering breath, his palms mapping the softness of your flesh under the flimsy t-shirt. Cotton tears under his ministrations, and cold air hits your back, your sides. A deep, low hum reverberated through his chest, as he exhales, immediately sucking in another breath through gritted teeth. 

- You... - he huffs, his exposed hands fitting themselves under the tears in your shirt - I've never known something so cheap could smell so good.  

There's a jolt of something, running through his body, as his hips press into you with barely restrained force. He'd fit nicely between your pliable thighs, but not now, not ever. The hardness digging into your stomach finally solidifies, what you dreaded would come.

- We can't - you don't recognize your voice. 

This isn't you. You're not here. 

But Fireball is not here either, so what is this third, strange person, who raises their hands and pushes against his chest, against the metal eagles on his shoulders? The flag still watches you struggle, those impassive stars mocking you at every turn. Truly, the American Dream come true, being humped like a dog by the strongest, most Yankee Doodle Dandy superhero to ever exist. This is exactly, what your parents were chasing, when they moved to the States, searching for a better future for their soon-to-be-born little girl. Will he stick a flag pole in your cunt, and sing the fucking National Anthem, after he's done using you? The thought almost makes you laugh, makes you remember the combination to your room, but all dark amusement flies out the still open window, because suddenly, his arms straighten out. 

He pins you to the wall, pulling back all the way, so he can stare at you with those cold, dead eyes, full of freedom for his own, heinous actions, and none left for you. There's tension in his face, as his lips press together into a condescending, tight smile, and his fingers flex on your shoulders, testing the durability of the stitches of your t-shirt once again. 

- Can't? - there's a tilt to his voice, a barely contained sliver of anger seeping through his teeth - I'm the fucking Homelander. I can do whatever I want. 

Ah, so that's what you're dealing with.

 The box rattles, the lock you've so carefully placed upon it bursting open like a cracked egg. And as Smirnoff takes her rightful place, scraping both Fireball and that elusive third thing from the surface of your brain, you look up at Homelander with utter understanding. What stands in front of you, is not a symbol of hope and peace. You're looking at a spoiled, invincible brat, who's never had to work for anything in his life. 

This is you. You're here. And you're so fucking disappointed.

Once again, you shape-shift right in front of his eyes, and with a shuddered breath Homelander realizes, that finally, he's looking at the real you. Not the bored, wreck of a human being he's met weeks ago, not the corporate product Stillwell has carved out of you, but a secret, third thing. An intoxicating cocktail of your true, hidden feelings floats to the surface, from underneath layers upon layers of masks, and he wishes to tear every single one, if it means you'll keep looking at him like that. Like you know him, like you can see behind the curtain of his performance, just as he sees behind yours. It's been such a long time, since someone made this discovery, and remained impassive.

When he thinks about it, this is the first time, he's met with such levelled response. And, fuck, the thought is better than drugs. The ghost of your scent tickles his nostrils, and he wonders what would stick to his tongue, should he taste you right now. Not fear, not desire, definitely not admiration. The expression you're wearing is eerily familiar, but so strange at the same time. Stitches at your shoulders tear under his fingertips, when he squeezes harder, hoping to extract the answer from your skin, from the softness of your flesh, the caverns of your bones. 

You don't even give him the luxury of a flinch.

- Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Who said those words, you're both unsure, but they shoot through him like thousands of spikes, drilling themselves under his impenetrable skin with ease. He blinks, and finally realizes the familiarity of your gaze. He's seen it, back in that lab, back home. Disappointment. And with that realization comes a myriad of familiar feelings, of patterns he's been continuing over, and over again, like a compulsion he's unable to rid himself of. The need to be feared, respected, loved, it all mixes with one more, treacherous thing. Make it right, make it better. 

Slowly, his fingers uncurl from around your shoulders, the t-shirt hanging onto your frame on a couple of strings alone. Surely, he'll regret this sooner, rather than later, but for now, he lets you go. Homelander takes a step back, his eyes unfocused behind a dazed cloud, as he regards you with scrunched eyebrows. It's evident, by the way his breathing quickens, the way his movements are tense, still ready to pounce. The desire to tear, to get what he wants is strong as ever, and the darkness in his eyes should be terrifying. Would be terrifying, if you were anyone, but yourself. 

And still, there's nothing. Your hearbeat is steady, your breathing even, your blood lacks any familiar chemicals, which would indicate your dishevelled state. It's as if you're looking at his through the windows of a passing bus, like he's a fucking traffic sign stuck into concrete. Insignificant, a piece of the landscape no one thinks twice about. But then, before he has the chance to get offended, you shift again, knocking him off his rythm once more. 

When did your eyes start to sparkle like that, he's none the wiser, but he drinks up the sight like a man parched, his mouth opening just a little, tasting the air of you on his tongue. The ghost of a smile on your lips might as well be a trick of the light, but he wants to believe otherwise, and as you take a step closer to him, pushing yourself off the wall, his heart stops for a millisecond. 

- Thank you - you whisper, your breath hanging in the space between the two of you - For saving me.

He blinks. And then, you're gone, leaving his penthouse like nothing has happened, like this is exactly how the night was supposed to end. The click of the door behind you sounds so distant to his ears, as if he's being held under water, and he's left standing rigid, staring at the empty space on the wall, where your body pressed into just seconds ago. A myriad of emotions swirls within him, one darker than the other, and as if pushed by some invisible force, he approaches the wall, closing his eyes with a shudder. Images of you, your body, the softness underneath his fingertips, flood his mind, and one question still fights for an answer in his mind. He needs to know, needs to feel something, lest he follows right behind you and forces the solution right out of your lips. 

Your scent lingers long after you've left, and with the concentration of a mad scientist, he places his cheek against the cold marble, where your shoulder was mounted. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back, and with a groan of unresolved tension, Homelander lets his tongue slip from between his teeth, laying flat on the polished surface. He licks a long stripe across, from one imaginary shoulder to the other, and can almost feel the ghost of you under each taste bud. 

Why did he let you go? What sort of a spell did you put on him, that he let you slip past his fingers, while he's still here, burning up with need? 

His hand tugs at the belt buckle, until it snaps off completely, clattering to the floor. Saliva smears down the surface of the wall, as he yanks down the lower part of his suit, immediately starting to hump his hand like a wild animal, mind clouded with what he wants, but can't seem to take. The marble wall steals the boiling heat right out of his body, and he presses harder against the unrelenting surface, fucking into his hand with reckless abandon. Words leave his lips in a messy jumble, nonsensical and broken. His eyes sting under his eyelids, and as he feels his peak come closer and closer, the heat inside his head becomes unbearable. 

With a frustrated, wanton growl, he comes hard all over the wall, his eyes snapping open, letting the deadly light out in full force. It collides with the marble, burning into it with ease for just a second, before he blinks it away, his body shaking from the intensity of his release. Pieces of rubble fall to the ground at his feet, dust covering the red leather of his boots. He's outgrown shame a long time ago, and with lips pursed in deep thought, he examines the demage he's done while lost in the moment. Placing his forehead right at the edge of the hole in the wall, he gathers his release on the tips of his fingers, pressing it further into the cracks in the marble.

This might be a bit harder to explain in the morning, he thinks to himslef with a huff of laughter. But, out of all the things he could've done, he guesses Stillwell would be happier to call for a renovation team, than have to explain to the higher-ups, and later the world, what happened to that bright-eyed Sidekick of his. 

A small mercy. A present, if you will, for both you and her. He shakes his head, finally stepping away from the destroyed wall. After all, it wasn't any spell, any sort of influence that made him let you flee back to the supposed safety of your room. It was his benevolence.

 Of course. He's the hero after all.  

[wa1kerbait4592]

planet of the apes 🦧

dude… i have now seen the new kingdom of the planet of the apes in cinema twice and the first time around i wasn’t all that impressed and i left the theatre kinda disappointed but the second time around i left a little more impressed and a little less disappointed.

the movie was still weak compared to the first three films, (the rise, dawn and war) but im glad it was made.

as a whole i believe this franchise is criminally underrated on multiple different levels. The poetic nature of the films is something i don’t think i would ever articulate or write on paper to perfectly capture how beautifully made these films are, they are just chefs kiss

proximus caesar was a funny villain that i think deserved more screen time and back story, it makes me kinda sad to think that we wont really see his character again.

the symbolism that links all four films together is incredibly well done and throughout the entire series there are crumbs of the films that came before them, which is a part of the reason why i love these films so much. i like how they made noa so similar to caesar, not only in his appearance but in his characteristics. i like to believe it was intentional that noa and caesar (particularly in dawn of the planet of the apes with malcolm) cautiously but willingly trusted a human. noa is so incredibly similar to caesar it would be criminal to suggest otherwise.

dude these films are so visually well done you almost forget you are watching cgi. the visual effects alone blow my mind but the accuracy and attention to detail when it comes to the mannerisms of the apes is out of this world and deserves more recognition. in terms of cinematography planet of the apes have always been amazing at beautifully capturing emotions from all the apes and even better at showing the wonders of a post-human run world. the forests and surroundings that the apes find themselves in continue to amaze me, especially in this newest film were we see a variety of different landscapes.

as much as i am growing to love kingdom of the planet of the apes, i feel as though we could have waited for noa and his story. i think cornelius and the others that were left behind after caesars death deserved a closing chapter. i would have loved to know how the community handled the loss of their leader and saviour and how they all moved on. also i feel as though we needed back story on how the apes separated and became different clans spread all across the continent. as an example i would have also loved to see how the misinterpretation of caesar and what he stood for became so strong and wide spread, as well as why noas clan and their elders knew nothing of caesar or chose to leave him out of their history. there were a lot of open ends and unfinished stories that deserved more screen time, but in saying that, that could mean an eternity of story telling that everyone may not want to see.

at the end of kingdom of the planet of the apes they left it open for another film which i am looking forward to seeing where they take story line. are they going to fully circle around to the original films were they capture more humans and start to use them as slaves or will the story begin to get repetitive? i hope repetition won’t sneak its way into these films like is has with so many other franchises, but we can only hope right?

anyways-

long live monkeys… i love monkeys and we need more monkey movies

also- i know i don’t really do this sort of this thing on this account but i was beginning to genuinely tweak if i didn’t word vomit my thoughts on these movies <3

[buwheal]

[You've Got Mail!]

You can now send your favorite salesman emails!! YAY!!

Here's some rules and information about the askbox.

First and foremost;

I will not answer every single ask. Sometimes I just cant do anything with it that will work realistically with the perimeters of the world, and I apologize!! Its nothing against you guys!!

(Unless you break the rules ofc.)

So if you dont see yours after a long while, it’s probably something that wont work, sorry! You can always send it again for a second try or send more than one ask whenever and see if that one works instead!

Besides that, here’s the rest of what you need to know!

[RULES] :

Spamton can only talk through the computer, so dont send asks that have a physical interaction!! Sorry! Thats just how i decided to set up the world/situation, and is not really anything against you guys :-)

(more of a request than a rule tbh) Preferably try to send real questions or statements. most "joke" asks are funny, but are surprisingly hard to create an in character response for. You can still send joke asks if you really want to, just dont always expect an answer X-P (i.e. asks that contain nonsense,, you can still be funny and make regular jokes, and i should probably specify that, but things that are like "you look like a worm" or smth i have no clue what to do with lol)

I know he may be a personification of spam emails... BUT DONT SPAM!!! It clogs the askbox and is a real pain!! You can send him more than one ask, though, as long as you arent repetitively sending a ton in a short burst!! Send as many as you'd like as long as they dont qualify as spam.

Dont be overly sexual or romantic, please! Even "As a joke". I dont like Spamton like that and it makes me uncomfortable, and I can't really answer that in character in a way that wouldnt provoke more of that. (You can be a flirt, but not much more than that.) Thank you!!

Be respectful and patient!! I am just one person doing everything, and this got far more popular than anticipated, so i will take a long time. I try my best to get at least one out every other day but i'll need breaks eventually!!!

I cannot give/spawn/materialize things for/to Spamton if you ask because of the way it’s set up. You are really just lines of text from a computer to Spamton, BUT... You can still do a lot if you think outside the box. or,, errr,, outside the computer. More like IN the computer. Kind of. Your words and your actions affect him and his reactions to you, so word it correctly and you can get him to do something or say something. Hes not stupid though, and he CAN usually tell when your intentions are... less.. than good.

Try not to do RP as other characters please.(Thats my job…!) I literally have no idea what to do with them and i feel bad leaving them in there :frown:

[INFORMATION] :

(Optional read :-P )

[YGM!] is technically an AU!!! not only do the events of the game not occur, but this is also set before then!

Asks are put out one a day, regardless if i have more than one, UNLESS i need to connect two(or more) to complete one event. Or i feel like it. a little treat.

I am one person doing every ask and every unique frame of art, so expect 1 ask (If youre lucky, two) maybe every other day Monday-Friday depending on my workload per day.

This is just for fun!! I am using the askbox to exercise my drawing consistency, Spamton's personality, and the way he speaks and responds to different situations! This is a way I am using to improve my understanding of him as a character, so it wont be always consistent as I am growing and learning!

Just a little disclaimer, he WILL be mean. He is a sour, nasty, grumpy, bastard and I am absolutely not opposed to him responding as such. Just keep that in mind when sending an ask if you dont want that!

If you want a common outcome, talk to other people about it! go crazy! I dont mind long threads on my posts if you want to create a plan. Infact, I can even help and tell you things occasionally!!

What you say to him DOES and WILL affect the way he responds. It is possible to regain his trust, but still a little hard. He is not a trusting person to begin with and being mean certainly doesnt help. BUT.. I am not opposed to being mean. Infact, they are quite fun to do. Either way is entertaining for me, so do as you will. YOU can choose to hurt or help him, because it’s basically always reversible in a way.

Using tone tags, while not required, are really helpful and assist me in understanding the intention in your ask if you think it may be interpreted another way! (i.e. sarcasm) :-)!!

I pick and choose asks depending on his situation, or if i have a good idea for a response, so you may need to wait a bit before i can get to yours!! Ones that i have an idea for take priority, especially when its to progress a scene. Or, alternatively, i am saving your ask for something i have planned.

I WILL reuse frames and poses to get these out faster and for my convienence :-) especially for the frames where there is no need to change his pose! So like.. dont think too hard about it lol.

Also, i prefer if you specify if the ask is for me /or/ Spamton. I do still do normal asks!! If its for me, just let me know!! I can usually tell, but most asks will be interpreted as for Spamton. I appreciate ones that start with his name before said thing is asked/stated specifically!! (i.e. "Spamton, __ __ __")

I wont be consistent with the way its answered. Sometimes it's one panel, sometimes its a couple panels, or sometimes they're animated gifs!! It varies depending on what i feel, so if youre lucky you can get a gif, lol. Those take longer usually though. Ive mostly switched to a gif format rather than multiple panels in a comic style, because its much easier to view! The animation quality can vary :-)

Thats about it!! Have fun!! ^_^

[sweetly-yours-and-mine]

Summary: B reading and A watching with their chin on B's shoulder

Pairing: Jonathan Levy x Reader

Warnings: boring dialogue?, probably me self-inserting in the self-insert i wrote

Word Count: 944

When you enter the bedroom, Jonathan can tell immediately that you've been crying. There are tear tracks on your face, and your breath, usually his anchor during his asthma attacks and like the flow of the river, comes in short little tides of gasps. You're trying to calm down but he doesn't think it's working. 

Letting his book fall face-open on his chest, "What's happened, baby?" He’s chewing away at some Nicorette gum, absent-mindedly, the repetitive motion keeping his mind just faintly occupied enough so he can focus on what he’s reading. 

He has a sneaking suspicion about what it was but he doesn't want to belittle you and assume things. 

"Nothin'," you give him a weak smile, your eyes tired and glistening. Your voice breaks, "I was just watching a movie." 

"Oh?" He shifts up on the bed, resting against the headboard. With his age, he's been forced to put pillows behind his back now, otherwise he'll wake up in the morning with a knot and he won't be able to get out of bed without your help. "Which one?" 

You hesitate before looking down at the ground and murmuring, "It's a Wonderful Life." 

Jonathan's not surprised. You loved that one, no matter how cheesy. You'd showed him photos of your college dorm and there was a big movie poster tacked up on the wall across from your bed. 

For your birthday, he'd bought you the colourized CD and now like tradition, you watch it when the holidays roll around. 

And like tradition you break down into tears at the end of it. 

To my big brother George, the richest man in town. 

"It's summer, honey, what are you doing watching a Christmas movie?" 

You shrug, coming over to join him on the bed. You click into his side like a magnet. "Wanted to watch it again."

“Did you enjoy it?” 

“Mmhm.” 

He shifts and moves down again, his book sliding just that way to the left of his body. “Well, that’s all that matters then.” 

Cuddling closer, so that he feels your breath against the sensitive skin of his neck, as it starts to regain its normal music, “What’re you reading?” 

“Oh,” he holds up the cover for you to see. It’s a beaten-down, yellow, almost identical to the colour The Man in the Yellow Hat wore in the Curious George books, though that’s about where the similarities end. “The Life You Can Save. Peter Singer.” 

“What’s it about?” Your hand follows down the trail of his chest, starting from his shirt collar, and rests on his lower tummy. 

You were unlike anyone he’d ever dated after his divorce. You’d been shaped and moulded by your past like him. Craving touch and running away when it was given to you. 

You’d been hurt. A guy you hadn’t named yet but talked about sometimes, just enough so Jonathan would be able to tell just what kind of accommodation you were asking of him. 

The first time Jonathan kissed you, you didn’t even give him a chance to say good night before you were gone, the lock turning sounding like the door of a coffin closing. 

Though that had been three years ago. 

Now, you tuck your head into his neck and touch his tummy. Sometimes, you get a little scandalous and run your hands up his inner thighs. 

But always in private, always alone, sharing your solitude with Jonathan. 

“The morality of people knowing about poverty and doing nothing to stop it,” he says, flipping through the pages with his thumb at the edge of the book, before he closes it and hands it over to you. 

You take it with a frown, and for a few moments, you go quiet as you read the back of it. “Is this for one of your classes?” 

Jonathan’s just glad that you’re not thinking about the movie anymore, even if you claimed to enjoy it, he doesn’t like seeing you unnecessarily cry; another little of those funny knacks leftover from Mira, like when you stay the night at someone else’s and they tour the house, teaching you how to handle every temperamental doorknob and tap. 

“Yeah, Intro to Ethics.” 

“I didn’t know they had you teaching junior-level courses again.” 

You place the book back on his chest, replace your hand where it rightfully belongs. 

He shrugs, “I taught it a couple times during my postdoc…just trying to refresh my mind. Update the content a bit.” 

With a little sigh, “I wish I had professors like you when I was in college.”

“Yeah,” he laughs. He cups the back of your head with his hand, “I do too.” 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your reading.” 

He shakes his head, “It’s alright.” 

But Jonathan hears what you wanted to say and picks up his book, flipping back to where he was. On cue, you place your head on his shoulder and tilt up. 

Since Ava moved away to college, Jonathan’s got a lot more time on his hands. He’s finally gotten around to building you that window seat you always wanted, finishing up shows that he’s been meaning to watch for years now. Reading, writing, sleeping, eating. 

He goes on long walks with you these days, pumping fresh, clean air into his lungs and making his attacks infrequent and far between. He hasn’t touched a cigarette or a lighter in months now. 

It’s almost strange the amount of time he gets to spend on himself and you now. Maybe it’s a brief taste of what retirement is going to be like.

Thanks for reading, if you liked it, please consider leaving some feedback! I don't usually respond, but I obsess and re-read reblogs and comments constantly.

Masterlist here. Summer Drabbles here.

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 19: Lil' Beethoven (Ride 'Em Cowboy)

First of all, let this very important fact be known: the love I have for all three albums in the Lil' Beethoven trilogy cannot be overstated. I think I can safely call them my favourite pieces of art ever made. You know, when you look forward to something and it not only lives up to all your expectations but it's also just SO SO much more? Something about this neoclassical / dada / deconstruction of pop music / whatever-you-should-even-call-it approach is absolutely PERFECTLY suited for my tastes, and I didn't even know I was looking for something EXACTLY like this until I found it.

I think the circumstances of my first hearing of this album are pretty funny and something I got pretty lucky with actually (I often think about this with Sparks in general, as much as I wish I've known about them sooner I also do feel like they appeared in my life when I needed that the most. But anyway.) I was very eagerly looking forward to hearing it and finally seeing for myself what the genius of this album is all about. But I insisted that I can only do it through a physical format because yesss, let's make it even more *special*! The moment I've been waiting for! So yeah let's gooo, I need to wait until my CD arrives in the mail (that was one of the longest weeks of my life). And then I started to wonder, well, maybe I actually won't like it that much. To hype myself up to this extent and then be severly dissapointed - would have sucked!

Well, I was NOT dissapointed. Instead I was perplexed, confused, but also very intrigued and quite, ok not just quite, *completely* amazed already. That was the initial reaction and I think it's a rare but very beautiful moment when this happens - no need to *fully* grasp it right away, but enough to be all like "oh that was SOMETHING. I need more." As I said after that first listen (and I actually have my whole LIVE reaction to hearing LB written down lmao, that's how much of a big deal this was for me), I felt like it actually has to grow on me a bit still, gradually but surely with each next listen, rather than the 1st listen being THE prime listening experience. And that was very true! But it wasn't even gradual, it was very fast, seriously. And something very important that stood out to me right away too were the melodies - something about them, and that continues into HYL and ECOTD too. It's this classic feeling of: this always existed, or at least it feels like I've known it for years already. And as I listen more and become more familiar with them the magic still grows.

It's of course no coincidence to me that an album that relies so much on extreme levels of repetition is so addicting, even hypnotising. And once upon a time I thought that I couldn't like something that's too repetitive and therefore could be considered monotonous or "predictable". But nothing is predictable about LB actually. (Besides... ok, I'll get to that one bit later). But yeah, it's good for the brain. And it's been said before by others but this music definitely has this certain neurodivergent appeal thanks to all this, and, well, I love that aspect of it so much and I definitely relate to it on some level that goes even deeper than just song topics and instrumentation choices. It's in the structure and the fundaments of it all too.

I legally can't finish this without a dedicated paragraph to the 2004 Live In Stockholm performance because HOLY SHIT. Feeling so lucky again that all three of these albums got this treatment and we have recordings of these half-concert-half-performance-art pieces that we can now marvel at. I will say that like, a pretty big part of the sum of the appeal that LB has as an album is stored in this show and its visual and narrative elaboration on its themes. And also it's just so fun to watch! Sometimes I thought about how this might be an even better introduction to LB / this era of Sparks / Sparks in general than the actual album but well, never had a chance to test that and you know. Maybe shouldn't recommend Sparks with one of the most leftfield things there is to be found from them. Either way, very good, very important, felt like experiencing the power of LB for the first time all over again.

So now, please hear my exact reasonings for why I so deeply love (almost) every single one of these songs......

The Rhythm Thief

NO song made such a big impression on me the first time I heard it as this. I might have gotten more used to it after all this time but man, The Rhythm Thief, you will always be the realest one to me. This is what made me look forward to the whole album so much and convinced me that it would be like nothing else I've heard before. And that turned out to be so very beautifully true!

How Do I Get To Carnegie Hall?

I could listen to this one a hundred times in a row over and over and not get sick of it one bit. That's it, idk what else to add, beautiful and ethereal in every way

What Are All These Bands So Angry About?

Mostly I just want to direct everyone's attention to the bridge section, at the 2:26-2:52 time mark, which as far as I can say is the most heavenly piece of music ever made. Feeling like that Winnie The Pooh soul leaving his body gif each time I hear this

I Married Myself

Aromantic anthem, to me. Not that much to say actually but it's just, a very sweet and pretty song even when it might be taken as just this sort of ironic piece, I think it's this situation where a song can be taken more or less literally and it doesn't lose anything, rather the sincerity takes on a new sort of meaning? Because yes, maybe this hyperbolic situation (marrying yourself) COULD be the solution to the heartbreak of failed relationships. Ever thought about that??? Ok, stopping right here and leaving my I Married Myself analysis for another day

Ride 'Em Cowboy

My mind is blank on this one suddenly. But it's so good believe me. I love it a lot. It just has this LB spirit that makes it very addicting to listen to

My Baby's Taking Me Home

This was sort of the first Sparks song I've ever heard, or maybe that I quote-unquote purposefully listened to, and I think that's pretty important considering that it was the moment that ultimately lead to... all this. This song has always been incredibly beautiful and powerful to me, but lately it just makes me emotional to an extent that makes it hard to listen to most of the time. I WOULD sell all my material possessions for even one chance to experience this song live by the way

Your Call Is Very Important To Us. Please Hold

Earns soooo much as a live version, but even without that I think it's genius in the same way as The Rhythm Thief, and maybe the most disquieting piece here overall... If we ignore the next one maybe

Ugly Guys With Beautiful Girls

Sitting there hearing the intro of this song all like "huh, this is so chill and calm... too calm..." and then being hit with, well, everything that's going on in this song afterwards was truly THE MOMENT back in the day (and re: the predictability thing. idk though, it's not like, really an issue). Later on I decided that this sort of narrative nature of the song makes it have less replayability value than the rest (???) but I abandoned that opinion soon enough, thank god. I love it how long it took me to realize that this song and the ending of MBTMH are the only times when drums appear on this entire album (I mean no, I'm not very proud of that fact actually, as the self-proclaimed biggest LB fan in my area. And The Rhythm Thief literally saying "say goodbye to the beat"... come on man). So yes, sometimes less is more! I adore this song now it's such a treat I would gladly terrorize my neighbours with it

Suburban Homeboy

Ok, I'm sorry Suburban Homeboy fans but this is the only song here that I'm not a HUGE fan of. I still think it's brilliant and an incredibly fitting ending for the whole thing - the mood whiplash is amazing as this is the only "vaguely happy sounding" song on here, per my words from months back. And what's better than yelling WE ARE THE SUBURBAN HOMEBOYS! (I'm actually awaiting today's Sparks karaoke rating reveal very impatiently lol the reveal happened before I posted this and I'm very happy about it)

One more actually, a quick word on Wunderbar because it gave us two things that we might have not been able to do without: 1) this whole album actually (the fact that LB exists because of Wunderbar giving the Maels the idea to continue meddling with this style. Up there as one of my fav pieces of Sparks trivia) 2) anddddd the 21×21 performance of it of course

[atamascolily]

Earlier, I made some broad predictions for Walpurgis no Kaiten, but now it's time for a few more granular ones. One of the great things about PMMM thus far is its use of repetition, which allows for some pretty obvious guesses about what's to come:

An unknown amount of time has passed between Rebellion and WnK; the story opens in media res at the moment before the current system is irrevocably changed. Thus we will not fully understand the world Homura has created until it's about to disappear; however, the seeds of its destruction were present from the beginning, as will eventually be made clear.

The original series opens with a cryptic and as-yet-unexplained prologue, followed by a battle scene that segues into Madoka waking up and going about her morning routine before heading to school. Rebellion follows the same pattern, with a cryptic explanatory monologue from Homura, the first Nightmare battle, and an almost shot-for-shot remake of Madoka's morning routine.

Thus, I think it's reasonable to assume that WnK will do the same; my guess is that we'll have a cryptic Homura scene that may or may not explain what has come before and which will probably hit differently in hindsight, followed by a battle sequence (my guess is Mami, Kyouko, and Sayaka getting their asses kicked when the wraiths start going haywire and/or something with the mysterious hybrid magical girl) followed by Madoka waking up and going about her morning (but animated in the new style and with a few key differences to mark that things are the Same Yet Also Different).

It's unclear to me whether Madoka is in this "dream" or not because I'm not sure what her role is/if she's a magical girl at this point. Based on the previous two installments, the answer is "yes", but we'll see.

Likewise, there will be a Thematically Relevant Conversation between Madoka and Junko in the bathroom while they're brushing their teeth. Would be hilarious if it involved mirrors or reflections (literal or metaphorical) in any way; ditto for teamwork and cooperation, since I suspect they will be major themes in this installment. Also phones and communication.

Is Kyubey initially around? Again, TBD. Could go either way, depending on his circumstances now. My guess is no, though it would be funny to see him watching in the background.

Madoka leaves the house, meets up with Sayaka and Hitomi, as per usual. (You can see in the trailer that Sayaka has bandages around her neck in this scene, which is one reason why I think she's in Madoka's "dream"/fight sequence as described above.) Some playful & thematically relevant banter ensues. The three of them then encounter parasol!Homura as seen in the trailer.

I think the big mystery for the first 20-40 minutes is "What is going on with Homura??" There will be a number of scenes with her where she looks/acts different, and something is clearly off, but it is not immediately clear what it is or even that there are two of them at first, because only one Homura visible in any given shot. This will eventually change, of course, and the reveal where they appear together will be very dramatic and artsy, but until then, I expect SHAFT to milk the confusion and the ominous dread for all it's worth

There will also be a Thematically Relevant Saotome rant once Madoka et al. get to class, of course.

Nakazawa gets one (1) line.

the OTHER established pattern is that there's always a new transfer student on the Day Everything Changes, which raises the FASCINATING question of whether parasol!Homura is just going to roll up and start attending classes now, too. If that's the case, will the "real" Homura be present for this (doubtful, given my speculations above) or is she missing/absent? It would be so funny if WnK pulled a Rebellion and had the "real" Homura in a coma for half of the movie, but somehow I don't think that's where this is going. How does parasol!Homura explain herself? Is she here in addition to Homura (i.e., as a student in her own right) or to take Homura's place entirely? What does Madoka think??

(to be clear: there's no question in my mind that the movie's plot kicks off with the arrival of the doppelganger here, the only question is how they choose to play it. In technical terms, this is the story's "inciting incident", and, in keeping with the established pattern, it's Homura--a Homura, anyway--entering Madoka's world yet again.)

Those are my guesses for the first part of the movie, based on previous structure and established patterns. It's possible the creators might switch it up, but I feel reasonably confident WnK will continue with them, at least at first, if only to lull us into a false sense of security before dropping the ground out from under us. In both the TV series and the movie, this section I've just described is approximately 10 minutes long, which still leaves plenty of time for surprises.

After that point, it gets a little murkier because I'm missing so many pieces, and there's no guarantee WnK will follow the same structure as Rebellion beyond those required by their shared two-hour movie format. That said, here are few things I expect to see at some point:

Mami, Kyouko, and Sayaka reconvene, but they are losing their powers--probably to the hybrid magical girl, who appears to be using Mami's ribbons. Sayaka is missing her healing powers, which is why she's all bandaged in the trailer. Kyouko is probably also missing powers, which is why she looks so pissed. If WnK follows the same beats as Rebellion, this will be at about the same point as the second Nightmare fight, otherwise who knows. The point is that the world is breaking down and nothing is "normal" anymore.

Meanwhile, Homura is being haunted/taunted by her double, who is actively interfering with her and her system. I would like a jaw-dropping reality-bending fight sequence between them a la "Absolute Configuration", but we'll see if I get my wish.

I expect the double to have a lengthy monologue explaining what is going on, though in classic PMMM fashion, this will raise as many questions as it answers. (This could also be Kyubey's job, but tbh I'd rather have the double do it.) But there's no question that there were unintended consequences to Homura's actions in Rebellion and someone has to explain them to the audience.

One transformation sequence for each of the main cast, though one or two might have multiple ones.

By the end of the film, the universe is rewritten again and a new system is made. If we're lucky, this will be the happy Final Ending in which Madoka and Homura are reunited forever; if we're unlucky, it will be Rebellion Cliffhanger Hell all over again, only worse.

But, having established patterns, it's also possible to break them. I don't necessarily expect this for a lot of the big picture/structural stuff, but I can see it happening in a few places, like:

Sayaka tries to spray Homura (original or double) with a fire extinguisher, but it backfires somehow--either exploding in her face, or she hits the other one by mistake. Alternately, she does it and it SEEMS like it worked, only for Homura to loom up unexpectedly out of nowhere and gloat.

Also, this is not a structural thing, per se, but based on Rebellion, I expect there will be 2-3 major twists of ratcheting intensity, at least one of which will make a large percentage of the fandom incredibly angry, but for dramatically different reasons: one camp will claim that it "came out of nowhere" and/or "ruins Homura's character", and the other will argue that it was "too predictable" and "contrived" and therefore bad. Eventually, everyone will calm down and grudgingly accept it the way they've done with Rebellion (if only because the people who hate it the most leave the fandom, or if it's truly the end of the series).

As for me, I feel very agnostic about the whole business--while I certainly have no end of guesses about what is likely and the things I would like to see (two separate but related circles), and it would be very satisfying to be right, I'm not wedded to the idea of canon as this absolute monolith that determines whether something is interesting or not. If I hate WnK (doubtful), I'll write fanfic about it; if I love WnK, I'll write fanfic about it. No matter what happens, fanfic will be written and I will shape the established narrative as needed to suit my needs--I engage in this speculation before the fact primarily because it's fun and a useful exercise for a writer.

[spacerangersam]

I already made this post, then deleted it, but I can't stop thinking about how repetitive that last episode felt. We've done the Mike's parents are overbearing plot before (also in a xmas special no less, which handled the plotline much better), we've done Kitty being jealous that someone else is getting more of Alison's attention (but unlike with Lucy, she's in the wrong, and it only happens twice. Like, I'm glad they didn't make that a b plot but it also felt weird that it wasn't a b plot), we've had the ghosts being loud and inconsiderate and upsetting Alison so many times before, hell, there was a whole episode about it earlier in the season, Fanny literally repeats her lines of thinking Alison's a prostitute, Thomas does his same old obsession roght to the bitter end, and even Robin struggling to enjoy Christmas felt similar to the xmas special where he didn't like xmas.

I don't like to conflate 'I don't like this' with 'this is bad', and I keep telling myself I must feel this way just because I don't like it, but I can't help but feel this episode was just pretty unoriginal and unsatisfying.

Most of what they did, they'd done before in far better ways and far better episodes, and none of these felt like fun throwbacks. Even the repetition of Fanny's lines doesn't feel funny, it just feels odd. I sincerely just can't really grapple with the decisions they made.

Like, idk, that cyclical nature could, in another show, be purposeful, to show how the ghosts can't move on, they can't grow past that moment of their deaths, but its not purposeful. Its just confusing and a let down. Sure, they give Alison the all clear to go and i guess thats a sort of growth (ignoring the character growth it also undoes in the very same episode), but that's what they wanted in the first place, the very first day Alison moved in. It came full circle, but that doesn't feel satisfying, it doesn't feel thematic. It makes me look at five seasons worth of build up and developed relationships and wonder, what the hell was this evening for? Am I ever going to be able to look back and enjoy the earlier seasons knowing it's all for naught?

Alison and Mike get to move on and have a better life, but the ghosts don't. Sure, she visits, but they've lost their home to the living once again, ones who don't see or hear them. They're just in another cycle of having no control, except for those occasions Alison visits, and they'll stop eventually when she dies. Then they'll really be back to square one. It just seems so unfair to them. Sure, they have each other, but that's all they have now.

This isn't even everything that's piqued at me, and it's probably half incoherent, but I needed to get it off my chest.

[micamicster]

ma'am the people want to hear your blocking thoughts it's not something i really paid attention to but then when you mentioned it I can see how that's part of what gives letterkenny it's letterkenny vibes? anyway THOUGHTS

omg SO. okay. I am not the best person to discuss this (i know very little about cinematography and the terms etc that should be used to talk about this) but i am happy to give my thoughts!

So the video that prompted this question is a great example of it,

Just the way that wayne, like, pops up from behind that wooden structure to say his line is hysterical. The screenshots don't do it justice

here are a couple more just from like, the first 2 episodes of the show.

Letterkenny tends to pose its cast in tableau, where everyone sits in the exact same position every time and their shots are very static--they have everyone run their dialogue/bit without much movement from the established positions. I think this is likely a product of this show starting out as an incredibly low budget youtube series that these guys were filming themselves. You would set up the camera to get everyone in the shot, do the scene, move the camera. But from the very beginning they're using these static shots as part of the humor of the series, by framing the characters in unexpected or unnatural ways. (A big favorite of the series is the shot that unexpectedly cuts off the character's face and tbh it cracks me up every time like look at these!)

Even early on, this sort of attention to detail added to the shows appeal. It's evolved over the seasons into its own visual language, that they've kept even as the show's budget increased.

I think it adds to the humor of the show, and it also helps establish the small town repetitiveness of it? Like every time they have a scene at the produce stand, the characters sit in their produce-stand-positions. It really drives home how they do the exact same things every day with the exact same people. The conversations vary, the setting is identical.

Now for an even more meta take on it, I think this stiff and unexpected framing/blocking is related to our stiff and unexpected protaganist. Wayne (jared keeso you're SO fucking funny) always stands the exact same way, he moves very abruptly from one specific pose to another, he always holds the telephone the exact same way, he has specific and repetitive motions he always does in the same order, he's our autistic king and he's the toughest guy in letterkenny! The framing and blocking mimic his body movements, making us view the whole show from his perspective, inside his world. It's so fun <3

look at that center framing wes anderson who?

[joelswritingmistress]

Last Halloween: Chapter 17

Summary: After a tragedy involving Joel happened on Halloween one year prior, the town now shuns him while ignoring the details of the now closed case. You are seemingly the only one to offer empathy to a man the town is making out to be a monster.

Joel Miller x f!reader

Tick. Tick. Tick.

You had never paid attention to the sound of the clock on the wall in Joel's kitchen. Not even for a second. Right then, it was deafening.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Joel lazily proded at some rice to the side of a his barely-touched chicken breast. Each time he brought the fork to his mouth, half the rice cascaded down like a little waterfall back onto the dish before he ate whatever was left. For the first time since you'd known each other, you didn't know what to say; and it appeared as though Joel didn't feel like talking.

The constant ticking made you want to tear the clock off the wall. It reminded you of a bomb with its menacing, repetitive clicks.

"Joel, I'm really sorry about what happened to Ronnie," you told him. "And your bike."

He cut off a corner of the chicken and forked the bite into his mouth with a little thank-you nod.

"They're going to arrest him," you went on. "They have to."

"We'll see about that," Joel said dryly. He rose from where he was seated and wandered to the far side of the kitchen where the refrigerator sat encased in darkness.

Light pooled out onto the floor when Joel opened it up to retrieve a beer. He popped the top, using the top of the counter and a little slam of his hand before tossing the cap into the sink.

"They haven't found him yet." The light from the refrigerator that highlighted where Joel stood slowly crept back into hiding as the door closed shut and all you could really see was his silhouette as he lifted the bottle to his lips.

"They will." Your phone went off and it was another random number that 'just wanted to say hi'. You blocked it.

"Another one," Joel suspected, taking his time to rejoin you at the table.

"Yeah." You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "I just keep forwarding the numbers to Officer Tate."

"She's the only one on that force with a brain." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he placed the beer down beside the cold dish.

"She was really helpful." You sawed into the last bit of your chicken and let out a little sigh.

The ticking returned to the foreground as you sat there together in silence. You looked around to every stray corner of the room and did a double take when you spotted two stray pumpkin seeds near the mat at the back door that had managed to survive the cleanup.

Your chest felt heavy. The night before had been so carefree and light. It was a night you would live a thousand times over if you could. It's funny how drastically the mood can change in twenty-four hours.

"I think you should keep away from me for awhile," Joel said to break the silence. "Until this blows over."

You switched your gaze back to him across the table. "That's really what you want?"

Joel glanced up from where he stared down at his hands folded in his lap. He looked you in the eye. "It's not about what I want. It's about what's smart.. and safe."

"Well, I guess I'll have to play dumb then."

"This is serious."

"Yes, *this* is serious." You motioned back and forth between the two of you.

"You know what I mean." He looked at you more sternly.

"Why do you constantly insist on doing this alone, Joel?"

"Because everyone who associates with me gets hurt." Joel raised his voice just a little. "You. Ronnie." He extended an arm out to the side.

"I'm not hurt." You shook your head.

"Not physically," he added. "Not yet."

Your phone went off again and you rolled your eyes and slammed it upside down on the table.

Joel's eyes glanced at the device and then back to you. "See what I mean?"

"Okay, so I'll just go home and deal with all of this by myself in my room."

"At least you'll be safe there."

"Will I?" You were borderline shouting now. "Will I, Joel? Because last I checked that flyer was in my home mailbox. It was also at my work. If they want to do something to me, they can whether I'm there or here."

"They'll leave you alone if you're not with me."

"You don't know that!"

A loud crash made you jump out of your seat and you rushed to Joel's side as he did the same and pulled you against him. He then positioned his body in front of yours.

"What the fuck was that?" You breathed heavy and walked a step behind Joel, clutching him as you both rounded the corner into the living room.

The picture window behind the couch had been shattered. Jagged glass was scattered about the living room, and a brick wrapped in paper with words scribbled on it sat on the hardwood floor just in front of the fireplace.

A menacing, jovial voice could be heard from outside. "Jooooeeeel."

"Stay here," he shouted, retrieving one of the tools to stoke the fire with before rushing out the door and slamming it behind him.

It all happened so fast, leaving you inside to attempt to process what was happening. You decided not to listen to him and ran out onto the porch after him.

"Go inside!" Joel shouted at you this time as he took the stairs off the porch into the secluded front yard.

"Joel! Come back!" You shouted back. "Please, come back!"

His shoulders seemed to broaden as he huffed out loud, looking around the yard with the fire stoker in one hand.

"Come on!" Joel shouted. "You fucking cowards!"

"Joooeeeel," the same voice taunted from somewhere in the darkness. It sounded echoey and dreamlike, cutting his name into two syllables.

"Joel!" You shouted his name again and went to run toward him. At the same time someone emerged from the tree line wearing a pumpkin headed mask. The abrupt nature of it made you scream

At the same time two more emerged from the opposite side of the house wearing similar style masks, only one looked like an ugly green witch and another a vintage, rubber skeleton.

The two of you looked from side to side.

"Happy Halloween Jooooeeel," the pumpkin head greeted.

"Leave us alone!" You shouted. "Vic Champagne!"

All three of them erupted into a chorus of laughter.

You reached a hand into the pocket of your sweatshirt and discreetly hit the passcode on your phone before managing to blindly dial 9-1-1. You used your phone so much that you were almost certain that your fingers hit the correct places on the screen.

Without drawing attention to yourself, your thumb tapped the red button at the bottom and you kept it hidden between your hands in the front, oversized pouch.

"What you gunna do with that fire poker?" The witch asked in a muffled, male voice. He laughed right after and slowly paced his way toward Joel with almost no urgency.

Without truly knowing if the 9-1-1 operator had picked up, you just start rattling off Joel's address over and over again. It caused two of the three assailants to look in your direction.

Joel was to focused on the witch, who continued to pursue him with an eerie patience.

"Shut up!" Shouted Pumpkinhead. You knew from his voice this time that it was Vic behind that mask. Still, you didn't obey as you prayed someone was actually on the other end of the line.

Finally, you pulled the phone from your pocket and felt a small hint of relief amidst the immediate panic. The call had gone through and you brought it to your ear.

"Help! We need help at the address I gave you." You panicked, not actually knowing what their intentions were. "We have three intruders-"

The phone was knocked away from your hand by the skeleton who you hadn't seen charging at you from the right side. When you went sprawling to the ground Joel shouted out a string of profanities and ran toward you, only to be tackled from behind by the witch.

CLICK HERE FOR CHAPTER 18

@untamedheart81 @amyispxnk @grogusmum @ghostwritesthings @strawbunnyx @ayamenimthiriel @noisynightmarepoetry @jiminstinypinky @tuquoquebrute @pedr0swh0r3 3 @runningmom94 @mellymbee

[thegayhimbo]

Ranking The Stranger Things Tie-Ins:

Now that I've finished the reviews (for the time being), I wanted to do a ranking of all the tie-in comics, graphic novels, and books. Originally, I was just going to do a Top 5 Best and Worst List, but I figured it would be more fun to make a complete list of all the tie-ins while also giving my brief thoughts on each one (especially for those who don't want to read my lengthy reviews). Please note this is all in good fun and just my personal opinion, which can be subjected to change.

Also, this list will NOT include any of the show's episodes, video games, tabletop games, children's tie-in books, the Choose Your Own Adventure book, the Stranger Things Experience, or the stage play The First Shadow.

With that out of the way, let's begin in order from Worst to Best:

#26: Stranger Things Summer Special (See Review Here)

I never cared for Powell and Callahan as characters. They barely have anything to do with the show's main arc, they're NOT funny, and the "bumbling cop" trope is something I've grown tired of in recent years.

The premise of this short, where both of them are conveniently present at key events during season 3 in their lousy pursuit of being "good cops," all the while having constant near-misses with the Upside Down, the Flayed, and the Meat Flayer, is a repetitive joke that quickly grows old. That's not even getting into the huge continuity errors plaguing the short and creating a bunch of plot-holes. Completely unnecessary. Hard pass.

#25: Stranger Things The Bully (See Review Here)

This only ranks slightly higher than Summer Special because I like the artwork better, and it doesn't mess up the show's continuity like the previous comic did. However, that's all this really has going for it.

For whatever reason, they decided to make an entire graphic novel focusing on Troy and James (the bullies from season 1), and all I could think about while reading it is "This is a huge waste of time." I already didn't like Troy to begin with, this comic does NOTHING to improve my opinion of him, and considering that neither James nor Troy have appeared on the show since (and probably aren't coming back for season 5), I don't see what the point of this story was. This paragraph from my review sums it up best:

#24: Stranger Things x TMNT Crossover (See Review Here)

I'm sure there are fans who enjoyed this bizarre trip while embracing its absurdness and surrealism, but I am not one of them. I like TMNT and I like Stranger Things, but I draw the line at saying both properties exist in the same universe. That's not even getting into the haphazard attempts by the writers to make this comic canon with the show. Knowing the Duffer Brothers, that's likely not going to happen.

#23: Stranger Things Tales From Hawkins (See Review Here)

The idea of doing an anthology comic focusing on Hawkins residents was intriguing, but the end result was disappointing. They should have broadened their horizons regarding which characters to focus on, and not just set the stories exclusively in the first 2 seasons.

Murray's story (Issue #2) and the Pumpkin Patch Rivalry (Issue #4) are arguably the best ones. The rest are either forgettable or derivative.

#22: Stranger Things Six (See Review Here)

My first venture into Stranger Things comics. I've come a long way since then! :)

I remember looking forward to this particular comic to learn more about Hawkins Lab, Dr. Brenner, Project MKUltra, and the special kids............only to feel underwhelmed when I actually read it. I wanted to like Francine/Six, but I didn't find her interesting or compelling as a character, and the attempts to include other aspects of the show's lore (i.e. The Upside Down, Terry Ives, El and Kali, etc) felt shoehorned. Combined with the direction season 4 went, and it's a safe bet to say this comic is NOT canon (if it ever was).

#21: Stranger Things Suspicious Minds (See Review Here)

Suspicious Minds ranks slightly higher that Six for doing a better job fleshing out the experiments that were taking place at Hawkins Lab, as well as giving more details about Kali, Terry Ives, the test subjects, and El's biological father Andrew. It helps that Brenner is a threatening presence in this book, and that the narrative excels in maintaining suspense.

However, similar to Six, the events of season 4 render most of this book non-canon. That's not even getting into a major continuity error regarding El's date of birth that sticks out like a sore thumb.

Suspicious Minds serves as a cautionary reminder that if you're a creator and you've planned out a major twist for your show, then you either need to have a direct hands-on approach to how tie-ins are written and approved, or you need to be willing to share that twist with those you've hired to write tie-ins for the universe you're managing.

In any case, it is PAINFULLY CLEAR the Duffer Brothers didn't share information about Henry/One/Vecna with Gwenda Bond when she worte this book (or Paul Dichter for that matter when he helped oversee its development), and boy does it show in the final product. 😖

#20: Stranger Things Kamchatka (See Review Here)

Another example of a comic where the premise sounds intriguing, but they squander it on characters who aren't going to play a role on the show while also giving very little (and in some cases, contradictory) information about the show's lore.

While I liked the darker tone, the Cold War setting, and the spy thriller aspects, the characters didn't do much to impress me, and I was also frustrated by the lack of canon characters (Hopper, Dmitiri, Yuri, etc) who could have been in this comic and weren't. It's not bad, but it is mediocre when it didn't need to be.

#19: Stranger Things Into The Fire (See Review Here)

A sequel that improves on its predecessor (Stranger Things Six). While the comic likely isn't canon for the same reasons Six isn't, I appreciated the personal stakes this time around, I loved the creepy gothic aesthetic they did with Jamie/Nine's hallucinations, and it was nice to see Kali utilized in this story in a meaningful way. Here's hoping the Duffer Brothers wise up and bring Kali back for season 5 because she deserves so much better!

#18: Stranger Things Creature Feature (See Review Here)

One aspect of Season 4 that was disappointing was how little we got to see of the family dynamic with El and the Byers once they moved. It's hinted at, but not explored deeply. Creature Feature dives a little more into that, as well as El's struggles with PTSD, and gives a nice heartwarming scene between El, Jonathan, and Will towards the end that makes the short stand out.

However, the one-shot comic is sadly brief, and it may leave people frustrated about why they didn't go for a longer comic/graphic novel about El and the Byers adjusting to life in Lenora. I would've been interested in seeing that!

#17: Stranger Things The Game Master (See Review Here)

A one-shot comic where we get to see Steve and Nancy back together after the events of season 1 while also getting a surprisingly sweet interaction between Steve and Mike that isn't them griping with one another. I don't care much for Steve and Nancy's relationship, but I did like their attempts to help Mike feel better after El's apparent death. That was enough to elevate this short.

#16: Stranger Things Erica's Quest (See Review Here)

Not a fan of the artwork, but I was happy to witness the Scoop's Troop back together again. I also love how this short confirms Steve has played D&D before, which gives context to that scene in S4 when Dustin calls Steve asking him to be a substitute player in Eddie's D&D campaign.

#15: Stranger Things The Voyage (See Review Here)

Major improvement on Stranger Things Kamchatka. It's highly doubtful the show will include any mention of this comic (though if the Duffer Brothers decide to bring back the Russian arc for S5, I hope they incorporate Dr. Karine as the main antagonist), but the story is scary, suspenseful, and has the kind of gruesomeness you'd expect from an R-Rated horror film.

#14: Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (See Reviews Here)

Having grown up reading a lot of murder mysteries, I have a soft spot for the genre. Hearing that Hopper's backstory involved him tracking down a deranged serial killer in New York City back in the 70s while also dealing with a dangerous cult was enough to get me on board with this book.

This novel isn't perfect, but it makes up for its shortcomings in creative ways. Hopper's backstory with the NYPD is fascinating, the story's focus on issues related to poverty, crime, mental health, law enforcement, and societal woes works well (even if they drop the ball towards the end), Hopper's interactions with El in the present are a highlight, and the narrative is effective in keeping the reader invested.

#13: Stranger Things Erica The Great (See Review Here)

A light-hearted graphic novel that bridges Erica's arc between seasons 3 and 4 while expanding on her growth as a character and development as a D&D play. It was cool seeing Erica's friends get their day in the limelight (one of whom might be making an appearance in S5), and the story has enough funny moments to keep the reader entertained.

#12: Stranger Things Flight Of Icarus (See Review Here)

I know fan reaction towards this book was cold when it was first announced, and I'll admit parts of it were hard to read given we all know how Eddie's story ends. I'm not a fan of media that teases false hope to the audience, only to cruelly yank it away.

That being said, I will go to bat for this book: It's well-written, and does a good job expanding on Eddie's character and his relationships with others (Wayne, Al Munson, Jason, etc). I also appreciate the book's themes regarding "forced conformity," and its scathing criticisms towards individuals and institutions (school teachers, law enforcement, students, residents, etc) who scapegoat and punish people like Eddie for existing while allowing (or in some cases, enabling) truly vile people to get away with being vicious and cruel towards "acceptable targets."

Considering how certain individuals on Tumblr and varying social media platforms have been treating others for the past few months, this book couldn't have come during a more relevant time.

#11: Stranger Things Halloween Special (See Review Here)

A delightful Halloween comic taking place before season 1 which centers around the Party telling an urban legend about the Child Eater of Hawkins, which coincidentally has eerie parallels to Vecna. Creepy artwork, an unsettling atmosphere, and a fun twist at the end! :)

#10: Stranger Things Hawkins Horrors (See Review Here)

Same deal as the Halloween Special, except it takes place between Seasons 3 and 4, and features multiple horror stories told by Steve, Robin, Nancy, Max, Lucas, Erica, Dustin, and Mike while they're all trapped in the Video Store during a power outage. The stories are scary and reminiscent of horror anthologies like Tales from the Crypt and Goosebumps, and some of them even cheekily foreshadow certain events that occur in season 4.

#9: Stranger Things Runaway Max (See Reviews Here)

Like Flight of Icarus, this book is hard to read, albeit for a different reason: I don't enjoy stories with characters trapped in abusive situations, and this book does not pull its punches in depicting the utter hell Max suffered through living with both Neil and Billy.

That being said, I grew to have a new appreciation for Max's character because of this book, and I liked seeing her backstory, her perspective on the events of season 2, and her thoughts about the characters she interacts with. I loved seeing her relationship with Lucas develop, I liked her brief interactions with Steve, and there was a satisfying payoff in her standing up to Billy and finally regaining some control over her life. If you love Max's character, this book is for you!

#8: Stranger Things Winter Special (See Review Here)

The closest Stranger Things will ever have for a Christmas Special (not counting the endings of the first two season finales). So many little details (i.e. the way the Party explains different Christmas stories to El and how she visualizes them, the revelation about what happened to the demodog in Joyce's fridge, etc) that make this an enjoyable read.

#7: Stranger Things Lucas On The Line (See Review Here)

One thing I will say for the tie-ins is that I appreciate how they expand the perspectives of characters from the show. Such is the case with Lucas on the Line. It takes place between seasons 3 and 4, and explores Lucas's attempts to come to terms with his trauma, the growing rift between himself and Max, his attempts to balance his strained relationships with his friends and his desire to play basketball and break out of the "nerd" stereotype, and it gives a very brutal but effective portrait of what it's like for Lucas to be one of the few black kids in Hawkins constantly surrounded by people who are either outwardly racist or project their biases and prejudices in truly insidious ways.

There are two reasons I'm not ranking this novel as highly even though it's a fan-favorite: 1.) There are continuity errors that took me out of certain moments while reading it, and 2.) The third act (which is when S4 begins) does a clumsy job tying in with the rest of the book and its themes. I really wish the book had continued with Lucas's story up to the end of S4 instead of stopping halfway through.

#6: Stranger Things The Other Side (See Review Here)

I always wanted to know what was going on with Will in season 1 when he was taken to the Upside Down. This comic thankfully elaborates on that and doesn't disappoint. Will's journey to survive is both intense and terrifying, and the way the comic seamlessly connects itself with the events of season 1 is to be applauded.

I have no clue what the Duffer Brothers plan to reveal in season 5 about the Upside Down and why time froze in 1983 when Will was taken, but considering they talked with the writers and artists for this comic and gave their stamp of approval, I'm hopeful the events of The Other Side won't be retconned.

#5: Stranger Things Science Camp (See Review Here)

Who knew that when Dustin went to Science Camp, he walked right into a Friday the 13th movie? 😂

Don't want to spoil too much about this one, but I had a blast reading it. Dustin's perspective is always entertaining, the comic works as a brilliant introduction for Suzie, and the mystery plaguing the camp is genuinely interesting and has a good twist. High recommendation.

#4: Stranger Things Zombie Boys (See Review Here)

I'm still bitter that the character of Joey Kim never made an appearance on the show despite the camaraderie he had with the Party, as well as how he gave the boys some catharsis from all the shit they were put through in season 1.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed the premise of the Party making a zombie movie, and I appreciated how it handled the characters' trauma without being patronizing. The artwork was also impressive and beautiful to look at. Here's hoping we get more comics and graphic novels like this in the future!

#3: Stranger Things Tomb Of Ybwen (See Review Here)

At its core, the comic manages to explore an aspect that wasn't given much coverage on the show: Will's reaction to Bob's death and his attempts to come to terms with it. All of which culminates in a quest Will undertakes when he finds a map from Bob that (allegedly) leads to an ancient Viking treasure buried in Hawkins.

I don't want to give too much away in terms of spoilers, but the story is both emotional, sad, and heartwarming, and it does an excellent job reinforcing the friendship between all 4 boys while also demonstrating the impact Bob had on Will's life.

#2: Stranger Things and Dungeons and Dragons (See Review Here)

Speaking as someone who's occasionally crafted various fantasy scenarios in my head to cope with the stresses of life, this comic was deeply relatable. The show never shied away from emphasizing the importance of D&D to these characters, and this comic expands on that by illustrating why they became interested in D&D in the first place, how they've used D&D to cope with living in Hawkins, how the events of the first 3 seasons factor into how they play D&D, and how the game evolved with them as they continued to get older. It's like the piece of media from your childhood that stays with you as an adult. Arguably the best comic in the series (so far).

#1: Stranger Things Rebel Robin (See Reviews Here)

My favorite book and tie-in of the series. Speaking as someone who's gay, this story spoke to me on a personal level, and there were a lot of parallels I was drawing between Robin's experiences in high school and my own: The fear of being outed and ostracized. The desire to break free and explore the world. Recognizing the injustices that exist in society and wishing you could do something about them. Getting a nasty dose of reality that people you thought you could trust aren't reliable, and may even be more awful than you anticipated. Been there, done that, still dealing with some aspects of it.

It's funny because even if you take out the plot elements relating to the Upside Down, you still get a great coming-of-age story, and one that speaks to many people, LGBT+ or otherwise.

That concludes the ranking and reviews for right now! Thank you again for those who've been reading them! :)

[dvzaiosamu]

Bubble Tea while watching TV — soukoku.

University/Colleges Chuuya and Dazai :3 They're roommates and live together in a dorm. Dazai being the lazy mf that annoys Chuuya for fun and Chuuya is a simple man that lives tranquility, minding his own buissness, trying his best to avoid Dazai's stupid antics.

About: Chuuya and Dazai are going to watch a TV film while drinking bubble tea, and that's it, it's going to be fluff and their silly interactions.

Dusk was falling quickly; The orange, yellowish colors were reflected in the sky, some flying seagulls emitting their characteristic noises from their throats. There was a moon although night had not yet fallen, and it was strange, since the moon must always appear once the sun sets, the moon reflects the light of the Sun enough to be seen at all times, that is why it usually appears during the day or at dusk.

A few more hours and night would fall. Bright stars will appear, small dots in the black sky, the moon will also appear in one of its phases, weakly illuminating the asphalt streets.

Chuuya Nakahara, bored with waiting for his partner, Dazai Osamu, collapses on the couch, falling flat on his face, a sigh leaving his mouth as he turns to look at the white ceiling. At that moment he was wearing a fossil gray shirt and raven black shorts, a plain outfit to be in his bedroom, it would be unusual for other people who are unaware of the ginger-haired young man's personal details, since Chuuya almost always dresses fashionable and designer clothing with good quality.

Chuuya has his black-cased cell phone next to him and chooses to think for a few moments if he should really call Dazai, but what a stupid idea! He would never call his stupid partner just for something so simple, only if it was something crucially important or… he was just drunk. Chuuya puts his hand to his head and rubs his temples, with a grunt, still not knowing if he should pay attention to his already eminent anger, but he stops to think: Is it really worth getting angry over something so insignificant?

He takes his cell phone and looks for Dazai's contact, which he has saved as "Blue Mackerel", a slight smile appears on his lips, oh what a funny nickname, who would have thought that of all the nicknames that a human being can give another, Chuuya would choose the name of a fish.

His finger presses the call button, and immediately there is no immediate response, the repetitive sound of a toot…toot… with interspersed pauses fills the deafening silence of the room.

Finally, Dazai answers.

"Hello, shorty? Did you miss me?" Osamu's irritatingly mocking voice makes Chuuya question himself why he decided to call him in the first place.

"No, not at all, you think you're very special, believe me you're not," Chuuya responds in a firm tone, looking at the ceiling while holding his cell phone to his ear. "I just wanted to see where the hell you were, it's been a while and you still haven't come with the two fucking bubble teas I ordered."

"You know, I'm no servant, Chuuya," his voice drops flat, and a bored tone makes its presence known. "I'm on my way, don't worry so much... I'm just getting into the elevator."

Then he will arrive in less than three minutes, what almost zero relief on Chuuya's face.

Nakahara hangs up and drops his cell phone on the couch.

It wasn't going take long for Dazai to arrive, and Chuuya didn't think it was that bad either, since the series they were going to watch hadn't started yet, there were still ten minutes left, for now there were only advertisements and boring things that only stupid people would watch and actually enjoy.

Knock Knock..

That sound makes Chuuya stand up and sit on the couch, looking slightly defiant before shouting,

"Are you telling me you didn't take the keys to open the door, you idiot?"

"Stop blaming me and open the door! It's winter cold here in the hallway!" is heard on the other side of the door.

Chuuya sighs and with an amused smile he gets up to open the door, finding Dazai's pouty face with a worried expression. "Really... I should have left you out here freezing, I mean, who goes out in shorts, a baggy t-shirt and a coat? If it weren't for the fact that I need that drink because of my appetite, I wouldn't let you in."

"You're so cruel... You hurt my poor feelings, it's not my fault you made me go out like that and didn't even let me change," he complains, gently pushing Chuuya out of the way, taking off his shoes off and leaving them at the entrance. Chuuya frowns.

"You're so whiny," Chuuya replies, rolling his eyes. "Leave the drinks on the table and hurry up if you want to watch the fucking show."

Chuuya closes the door behind him and sits on the couch while he watches as Dazai leaves the bag with the two drinks on the table in front of the television and in a few moments he takes them out of the bag and leaves them on the table, throwing away the plastic bag. He then takes off his beige coat and places it on the coat rack, stretching slightly before flopping down on the couch.

Nakahara then checks the time on his phone. It's six minutes until the series starts, with a small yawn he puts his phone aside to grab his puppy-print blanket and wrap it around himself, and Dazai grimaces.

"Do you really use that thing? They're dogs," he keeps that disgusted face until Chuuya glares at him.

"Do you have a problem with them?"

"Many!"

Chuuya sighs. "Then freeze to death."

"Sometimes you really make me do horrible things," Frowning, he covers himself with the same blanket, sharing it.

The ginger-haired smirks. "Funny."

And that's when Chuuya wants to drink his drink to stab it with the sharp plastic straw and start drinking when Dazai leans sharply towards him to hug him and give him many smooches that Chuuya tries to avoid with his hands while frowning.

"What the fuck do you want... Let go of me," the ginger-haired man complains, raising his hands to his face and avoiding Dazai's affectionate attacks. "You've reached your kiss limit in the morning..."

"Let me show you my love, don't be a bad dog," trying to fight Chuuya's insistence on not being kissed, he lifts him back to his original position and simply rests his head on Chuuya's shoulder with a whine, giving up.

With a long sigh, Chuuya, still frowning, decides to kiss him on the head and then gently caress his already messy hair. "You're such a pain in the ass."

Dazai's embrace tightens, and Chuuya removes Dazai's hands from his torso this time, before finally managing to grab his still-cold drink and stick the straw into it, without difficulty or causing disaster. Seeing that the series has already started, but he had to wait for the intro to finish, he silently takes a sip, enjoying the taste almost casually.

It's Dazai's turn, he grabs his drink, with a smile he stabs it with the straw, although he splashes a few drops on both of his and Chuuya's face. Chuuya glances at him from the corner of his eye, glaring, and Dazai first wipes the sweet liquid off his face, glancing at Chuuya before reaching out to lick one of the drops, making Chuuya feel disgusted.

"You're fucking disgusting."

"But you love me," taking advantage of the approach, he gently kisses Chuuya's lips, before smirking.

"Actually hate you," he corrects.

"Rude much, lying won't fool anyone."

In response, he receives a glare from the shorter one and an audible sigh.

Chuuya's eyes stare at the series that had just started with a girl and her long-haired chihuahua, Chuuya's eyes light up slightly as he smiles. He goes back to drinking his drink.

"Hey, look, that's you!" Dazai points his finger at the screen, mockingly.

"Fuck you..." he curses under his breath.

Even after Dazai's unnecessary comments, Chuuya tries to enjoy the series even with an annoying man by his side.

Just when the young man thinks he's going to have a moment of calm without Dazai interrupting his viewing, a sound snaps him out of his mind.

Slurp.

Dazai slurps his drink loudly.

"Are you fucking kidding me..." Chuuya grumbles, a molest tone on his voice as he puts his free hand on his forehead.

"What's wrong?" Dazai asks, innocently.

"You're the wrong. God damnit, can't you just dip the damn straw deeper instead of bearly touch the liquid with that stupid straw? You are interrupting my favorite series," he complains.

"Good to know," Osamu smiles and, even though he doesn't seem to care about making noise, he still unconsciously sinks the straw to the bottom, eating some tapioca balls in the process.

Minutes pass and everything seems to relax, no sound other than the one that comes out of the episode is heard. For Chuuya it was very entertaining, although for Dazai it was more boring than watching a snail move, in fact he was the one who had finished his bubble tea first, leaving it empty, there was not even a ball of tapioca, he simply left it on the table while he boredly struggled not to fall asleep right there.

More minutes passed like this, until there was not much more time left until the episode of that series ended. The ginger-haired man watched attentively, not paying attention to the fact that he had a sleeping beauty asleep next to him. Chuuya didn't really care if Dazai was watching the episode or not, he just wanted to see how young Molly took care of her little dog.

Just as the credits of the episode rolled, Chuuya had already finished his drink, leaving it next to Dazai's, and with a yawn he rubbed one of his eyes, turning to see and find Dazai sleeping about to fall on top of him.

It was to be hoped that Dazai wasn't completely asleep, otherwise there would have no other explanation for this, a Dazai who had just slid on top of Chuuya. With a sigh, he has no choice but to tolerate and him and his hands clinging to his waist, wrapping his arms around him in a warm embrace that Chuuya found not pleasant at all.

Still, he also can't shake the warm feeling inside his heart that perhaps forces him to not be so rude to Dazai. Chuuya decides to move so he's lying down and somehow forces Dazai to curl up next to him, still holding him possessively. With sleepy eyes, he decides to hug Dazai back and kiss him on the forehead with tenderness. "Good night... Dazai."

And for sure Chuuya would be in denial when he wakes up that he ever kissed Dazai's forehead.

The night envolpes the two of them with the warmth of their bodies.

I don't know if I did right Dazai's and Chuuya's relationship slightly accurate... You guys tell me.

[pockspocket]

Why is there such a lack of star wars outlaws content istg-

This genuinely might be my first experience with a genuinely small fandom-

Like...I understand that the game had it's problems and because of that all the gaming bros have turned away every damn player from this game-

But...

I genuinely enjoyed it...yeah it's buggy...yea the ending was...ok...yeah the single style sneaking portions of the game sometimes got too repetitive and lacked the freedom of choosing the approach to the situation, considering that the game is open world, but it still felt way too linear...

But the main characters were pretty likable, in my opinion. Kay genuinely felt good to play as.

Any option that you went with felt like it was her genuine decision and not out of character.

ND-5 was awesome too! The little interactions between the two and Kay asking questions and ND-5 giving advice to her was always a delight to hear.

Ank and Gedeek were really likable too, I wish they stayed as our permanent crew. Cause one thing that I find funny is that because me and my father juggled who was playing, he tended to just shoot for the main quest and ignore side quests. And now that we had finished the main story, I'm just completing side quests that... should've been done....while doing the main quest....

So this made it so that... technically Ank and Gedeek were no longer on the ship and part of the crew... But on some of the quests they would chime in on comms as if they were-

Ok...bugs and story quirks aside... I think that even if you like the game or despise it ...

IT IS FUCKING GORGEOUS-

This game is good damn beautiful to look at-

Every environment felt so detailed and had its mood down so well. I fucking loved exploring the world's. Every cantina felt so good to walk into...THIS GAMES SOUNDTRACK IS BEAUTIFUL AS WELL OMFG-

I WOULD JUST SIT IN THE MAIN MENU GOR LIKE A GOOD MINUTE TO JUST LISTEN TO THE MUSIC UGHHH

This game, felt like a proper star wars game. Listen...I'm tired of the classic..."you get to play as a Jedi" game. As much as I love those, this was a good breath of fresh air. It felt more focused on the world of star wars rather than a single character trope.

Overall I think that Ubisoft did an ok job. The game clearly had some love put into it and definitely has opened the idea of this type of Star Wars games.

Despite it all, I obviously have my fair share of negative things to say about it too. It's not a perfect game, and I'd be lying if I said it is. But that doesn't mean folks shouldn't give it a chance.

Hopefully they make a dlc or even a sequel at some point, and when they do, I hope that they fix the problems and decisions that are making people be deterred away from the game.

[weirdbeancurd]

Attempted Apologies- ULTRAKILL Fanfic

Chapters: 1 2 3

Ao3 (Link)

Gabe gets the shit beat outta him. (but don't worry its kinda funny)

Takes place in an AU where the prime souls live, and Gabriel and V1 live on the surface as apocalyptic roommates. (oh my god they were roommates)

Summary: Gabriel attempts (key word: attempts) to apologize to Minos and Sisyphus for their executions, but it doesn't go as well as he had hoped. Chapter 1 out of 2.

Perhaps this wasn't the best idea. It certainly didn't seem like it as he traversed the endless winding halls, a labyrinth of books and furniture. Gabriel's anxiety was through the roof, and no level of self soothing was helping calm his nerves. Yet he had good reason to worry; his life was on the line, and he would very much like to keep his newfound mortality. Gabriel had left his swords and armor at their shared base with V1, hoping to show the two he meant no harm. Looking back, it was a stupid idea. A profoundly stupid idea. But tucked deep within the recesses of his mind, a part of him hoped they'd smite him on the spot, contradicting his yearn for survival.

He'd tortured, abandoned and murdered so many; Gabriel wouldn't fault anyone for hating him, especially his victims. And among those victims, he found himself ruminating over 2 notable executions: the killing of the kings.

Sisyphus put up a good fight, but was spared no mercy, liberating his head from his neck in one swift chop. He died with a smile on his face. While notoriously violent when need be, he was a just ruler that cared for his people. His existence was a morale boost in and of itself. Gabriel remembers the husk's wailing screams, their leader's lifeless body on the floor. It might’ve been for the best if the insurrection succeeded. He'd hate to face his post-mortem wrath.

Minos, on the other hand, was honorable beyond belief, his kindness knowing no bounds. His crown was filled with flowers gifted by the very people he so cherished. Out of everyone, he deserved his fate the least. Forced to watch his once prosperous city be demolished by his own hand and struck down under the false pretense of peaceful negotiation. It was cowardice. Gabriel doesn't know what'd be worse, Minos forgiving him, or the king crushing his skull. At least he wouldn't have to suffer the guilt of his actions if his head was caved in.

Guilt and regret was why he was here, after all, and he was dreading it. Gabriel heard from the machine that the two kings reformed as prime souls, freed from their respective prisons. It left them alive, if only barely, hoping it could get more blood from them later on. When V1 first told him, Gabriel nearly screamed in frustration. They sealed those two away for a reason! They might destroy heaven or hunt him down with (admittedly rightful) vengeance! Or… he could apologize and right his wrongs. He was far from redemption, but regret gnawed at his very being, and for good reason. Maybe releasing the prime souls was a blessing in disguise.

Gabriel ventured to the lust layer with shaking hands. If the two kings were still standing, they'd meet at Minos's castle. They were close friends in life despite their vastly different ideologies, and the kingdom Minos built was still perfectly habitable. The city was breathtakingly beautiful, the violet skies bleeding into every surface, pinks and blues painting the town. He silently treaded the empty roads, buildings lining every street. Gabriel made the mistake of peeking in one of the houses out of curiosity. He found two skeletons hugging one another on the bed, their eternal embrace on display for all to see, hands lovingly intertwined. He might've thrown up.

It took a while for him to get to the castle, purposefully stalling his entrance by pacing the streets. Eventually, he couldn't stand the silence and approached the castle stairs. The interior was just as stunning as the exterior, if not a bit repetitive, hence him getting lost, where he is now. Gabriel wanders for what seems like hours, whether it be from procrastination or the confusing, forking hallways, he does not know. Finally, he hears a voice: a very familiar one. They sounded like they were laughing, gruff yet jovial. Sisyphus. Another voice responded with clear amusement. Their tone was calm but regal. That must be Minos. His heart clenched in dread. What if they kill him before he gets to apologize? Would they even hear him out? Pushing his anxieties aside, he raised a quaking fist to the door and knocked thrice. 

The conversation turned into uncomfortable silence. They knew everyone else in hell was dead, apart from him and the machine. V1 never knocks, so the kings knew only one person could be at the door.

"...If you are who I think you are, you may enter. But be warned, I cannot guarantee you will leave here alive." Sisyphus drawls. His voice shakes the very foundation of the castle.

That wasn't exactly the warm welcome he was hoping for, but it will have to do (it's not like he deserved one, anyways). Steeling himself and prepared for anything, Gabriel presses his hands against the double doors and pushes. What he saw left him in shock.

He was greeted with the sight of a modest stairway leading up to two thrones, a long dining table to his right. One of the thrones looked like it was haphazardly dragged over and placed next to the other. But what really caught his eye was the figures those thrones belonged to. The man sitting on his left was glowing a pale white color, his see-through skin putting his circulatory system out for display. Gabriel's heart sank when he recognized the crown atop their head: Minos. The king was left with a gaping hole where his face was, an unmistakable reminder of when Gabriel's sword pierced his skull. His guilt weighed heavily on his shoulders.

The second man was similarly transparent, but the shining star that replaced their head glowed with such ferocity that he could barely make out their facial features. The missing head made it obvious who he laid his eyes upon: Sisyphus. Unlike Minos, he stood with barely restrained fury, likely for the other king's sake. While Minos was taller than he remembered, Sisyphus towered over both of them. A bolt of fear struck through Gabriel's body.

"Come to gloat, have you? Ever so confident, you have the audacity to face us unarmed." Sisyphus bellows. Minos stares in stern silence, letting Sisyphus do the talking for him.

"Though we have grown in power, we grant you no mercy, as you have done to us.” He cracks his knuckles. “Come forth, filth, and die." 

Like the obedient weapon he is, Gabriel does what he's told and approaches the two kings. Sisyphus readies his fists; Minos finally stands from his throne. Gabriel stares back at the two; his judges, jury and executioners. As he reaches the stairs, the kings prepare a fighting stance, and Gabriel, he-

-he kneels before them. 

Baffled, Minos lowers his hands. Sisyphus has confusion written on his face but does not relax in the slightest. Wary, yet hopeful, they listen for what he has to say.

"...I'm sorry. For your executions, for your people, for everything and everyone I've ruined. I know words will never be enough to redeem myself, nor undo my wrongs, but I hope it brings you peace to know I deeply regret my actions." 

The two share a suspicious glance. Slowly, Sisyphus turns back to him, giving a nod as if to say, "go on."

"The torment you've faced is unjust. You were just trying to help your denizens thrive, and heaven and I deemed it an offense worthy of death." His voice wavered now and then, but he willed himself to continue.

"It is with shame I say I willingly carried out their word. Now, far too late, I realize it was wrong." 

Daring to meet their gazes, he raises his head. Minos's expression is hard to read due to the gaping hole where his face should be, but his posture seems more relaxed. Sisyphus had finally loosened his stance, standing deep in contemplation. Sweat drips from Gabriel's brow as the two silently scrutinize him. His knees feel like they're going to give out.

After what feels like eons, Sisyphus descends the stairs, approaching with an uncharacteristically kind smile. He says nothing, but Gabriel knows he can see him trembling. The fallen angel rises to his feet with wobbly legs, his height barely reaching Sisyphus's torso. 

"What an interesting turn of events," Sisyphus says. “I’m tempted to say you’ve changed, Gabriel.”

The king leans in close to whisper in his ear, so close that he can feel the heat radiating off of him. 

"But it's too bad you didn't spare us when you were given the chance."

Everything happens so quickly. Sisyphus's expression turns to one of disgust, grabbing Gabriel by the neck and tossing him across the dining table. He's sent careening towards the fireplace, his body landing on utensils and plates, sending silverware flying from the force of the impact. By the time he rolled to a stop at the end of the table, he was deeply battered, with aching joints and bruised skin. Yeah, leaving his armor behind was a very stupid idea. Gabriel coughs, a hand cupping his neck to soothe the pain. His eyes flit around the room in a desperate frenzy.

In his panic, he spots Minos on the sidelines, watching on with contempt. His crossed arms say he won't help Gabriel in the slightest. 

Fuck. Nononono. 

Minos's forgiveness was integral to Gabriel getting out alive. Even if Sisyphus still had his qualms, Minos would step in, ever the diplomat. But now, nothing and no one will protect him from Sisyphus's wrath. 

"O' Gabriel. Now dawns thy reckoning."

Gabriel holds out his hand, a paltry attempt at shielding himself. Through sputtering breaths, he manages to plead, "I-I understand you both are rightfully irate, but-"

"You understand nothing."

Sisyphus advances at blinding speeds. He only manages to scramble backwards a couple feet before a palm strikes his chest, pinning him to the table. Gabriel frantically tries to pry his hands away. However, his white-knuckling is futile, for Sisyphus's strength dwarfs his own. He can barely breathe, lungs struggling to make enough room for air, ribs cracking under the pressure. Sisyphus ignores the snapping of his bones, his eyes portraying perfect hatred.

"You took everything from us!" He shouts.

"I know! And I know I cannot erase my sins, like the father once told us! But please, spare my life."

"So you've discovered the father's flaws. I'd congratulate you, if I wasn't about to destroy the very essence of your being."

“Wait-” 

The hand on his chest draws back, only allowing for a moment of respite. Sisyphus’s hand shoots out, grabbing for him. Gabriel evades him, if only barely, lunging across the table. His wings beat the air and propel him towards the door; he’s almost there, if he can just reach the exit maybe-

His hope is shattered by a violent tug at his shoulder. Sisyphus has his wing in a vice grip and he can feel its delicate bones snap like twigs. Gabriel screams as his momentum carries him forward but is held back by the king’s firm hold. Something definitely just dislocated. As if it can’t get any worse, Sisyphus throws him to the ground, which isn’t doing any favors for his broken wing. He lands with a sickening thud. Gabriel clambers away while cradling his cracked ribs, keeping one wing tucked close to his body as every little movement sends pain shooting through his shoulder. His other wing is clumsily flailing around, unable to properly balance on its own.

“P-Please, don’t.” He begs.

“Mercy is reserved for the innocent.” Sisyphus growls.

Gabriel looks to Minos for help, spotting him at the window. The king is staring blankly at his desolate city, seemingly unaware of the fight going on behind him, yet he can tell from his tense stance that Minos knows; he’s just ignoring them. Despite being a known pacifist, that doesn’t mean he won’t allow another to do the dirty work for him. Especially for filth like him.

Gabriel is thrown back into the battle as Sisyphus grabs him by the throat and lifts him off the ground. His toes reach for the floor but miss it by a mile, the king dangling him effortlessly from his hand. He feels his windpipe being crushed, lungs burning like they've been charred. No matter how hard he struggles, he can't escape. This is it. This is how he dies: slaughtered at the hands of a man whose head once laid at his feet. Maybe he deserves this. What will the machine think? Will it go looking for him? Would it even care?

"I'd tell you to say your prayers, but there is no god to hear your pleas." Sisyphus chuckles. "Send my regards to the council then."

Oh, how Gabriel wishes he could laugh. How ironic. In a rare show of generosity, the man loosens his grip just a tad to let him wheeze out his final words.

"I…I do not know where angels go when they die, but I hope to see them in hell." He manages a single huff of laughter. Just out of spite. His eyes slip close, ready for his due reward of death, and waits. And waits…and waits. But retribution never comes. Cautiously, Gabriel opens his eyes. 

He's met with the sight of his captor, utterly bewildered. It appears Minos is equally interested in his words, having moved towards their (very one-sided) fight. Air rushes to his lungs as the hand around his throat drops him, immediately gasping for breath. Stars are dancing in his peripherals and blood rushes to his head so quickly he can practically hear his heartbeat. 

"Explain. Now." Sisyphus demands. Gabriel tries his best to reply, but he can't stop coughing.  Regardless, Sisyphus requires an answer.

"SPEAK!"

"Wha-"

"THE COUNCIL. WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM."

"I killed them, alright!"

His labored panting is the only sound that fills the silence. The two kings have been rendered mute.

"They're…they're dead. All of them." He whispers. 

Brushing the metaphorical dust off his vocal chords, Minos speaks up.

"...But what for?"

They grant him a moment to catch his breath. Meanwhile, he judges their expressions. Sisyphus has gone silent, the gears turning in his head, still glaring with scrutiny. Unsurprisingly, Minos is more difficult to read, but he seems more curious than anything. Schooching to slump against the wall, he lies broken and beaten. He stares at the rafters above, drearily explaining what happened in heaven. He's unsure if his incoherent warbling even gets through to them, but he tries. The fallen angel describes his run in with the machine and the unjust theft of his light. He rambles about the council's misgivings for the father and the only way he knew how to dethrone them with the little time he had left. Between his words, sisyphus takes a seat at the dining table, facing away from them. With an elbow propped up on his knee, a fist supporting his head, he resembles the pose of a cerberus. Minos nods along to show he's listening. Eventually, Gabriel wraps up his tale, eyes shut in complete exhaustion.

"...and I don't regret it. Not one bit."

There's a beat of silence before Minos replies.

"How do we know thou art truthful?"

"Without the father’s light, I cannot teleport. If I was still immortal, don't you think I'd have left by now?" He can't help the bit of sass that comes out of his mouth. Must be the adrenaline high.

"...Thou hast merit."

Sisyphus stands suddenly, nearly knocking over his chair and causing Gabriel to flinch. The movement makes his injuries absolutely blossom with agony. He looms over the former angel as his shadow encompasses his own. 

"Let me make this clear," his tone is much more measured than before. "I do not forgive you. Nor will I ever."

He crumbles under Sisyphus's gaze.

"But, you've shown much growth from our last…escapade. You are a rebel exhumed, and for that, I can respect." 

"I never believed mine eyes would witness a day of justice dawn. Though it was by thy hand, it seems the 'holy' council has met retribution." Sisyphus hums in agreement.

Oh. They were thanking him. Gabriel felt hardly worthy of praise, but if it meant getting out alive, he would gladly play the part of a hero. Relief washed over him in waves, finally settling his nerves. His head felt strangely light.

"I understand your resentment towards me. My goal was not to be forgiven, just to apologize.” Odd. His arms are numb. “Your gratitude for ending the council’s reign is not needed, for their demise is a reward in and of itself.”

Gabriel wrenches himself up to his feet, having to use the wall for support. He takes a single step-

-and promptly passes out. Ah. That would be the adrenaline crash.

“...”

“Have thou perished?”

“...Minos, how do you feel about digging a shallow grave?”

Said man elbows Sisyphus in the side.

(Don't worry, Gabe's not actually dead, this is chapter 1 out of 2)

Still kinda in beta, so don't be surprised if I change this fic around a bit, lol.

Feedback and comments are always welcome! :D

[trials-of-a-spirit-worker]

Ghost Hunting Shows Opinions and Why

Ghost Adventures

I can’t even begin to tell you how fucking obnoxious I find them. I mean I’m sure you see it from my writing. Anyone who’s been here long enough knows how I feel about these fuckers.

“Aaron, I magically have a condition where I cannot go down the spooky basement where this aggro spirit, that I’ve managed to piss off in the last 20 minutes is lurking. He’s known for snapping necks. Go down there with a glow stick and go hump the pole, he hates that. Good luck.”

Poor Aaron though. Everyone does the dirty work and Zac just sucks up all the notoriety and shit cause he’s supposedly “conventionally attractive.” (I don’t see it. And you can’t give me the queer excuse. Cause I still like men.) And the voice he does. Annoying. Who the fuck talks like that? I'd rather hear Channing Tatum's shitty gambit do this shit.

Honestly, especially since there was all these articles and confessions about them forging evidence, I’ve just liked them less and less. Ghost hunting and paranormal things of that nature in the world of science is already seen as a joke and shit. We don’t need these chucklefucks fucking up that reputation even more cause they want to make ratings. Where’s the love? Where’s the passion? 

Hate em. 0/10

Ghost Brothers

Okay, can I talk about how much I love the representation though!? Cause its usually a joke that the Black people die first in scary movies cause we make too much sense or we just don’t end up in that situation. Which I mean…true. We don’t stay long in scary ass situations. Spooky ass shit happens we fucking leave. Point blank.  But yeah, love seeing my brothers working in the ghost hunting game.

Now they’re greenhorns, in every sense of the word. But that isn’t a bad thing. They’re adding new perspectives, are not afraid of learning. They use their feelings and their bodies alongside the technological evidence. What I really like about them is how respectful they try to be. They always err on the side of politeness and you can’t go wrong with that.

One scene that will live with me forever is when they all tried to date that one ghost who was ghosted (sorry for the pun but not really) by her lover and killed herself in despair over it. That scene will never not be funny/cute to me.

“You deserved someone who would be there for you, and I think I’m that guy.” Iconic. I want to see more of them and I heard some rumors it might return. I want the blackness so bad.

7/10 I want to see them go further.

Ghost Files/Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural

As much as I shit on both Shane and Ryan, and I love doing it. It’s my favorite one. Doesn’t mean Shane’s a good influence. I do like the idea of having a skeptic doing the hunting with you. It keeps you grounded and honestly, I respect that. What we need most in these types of these investigations is discernment. And other than the clear comedy and chemistry Shane delivers with Ryan, that's his purpose in the show. He's the reality to the hopeful in ghost hunting.

I say this as a firm believer myself (like no shit Sol, you're a death witch and a spirit communicator), we need more skeptics and people to keep the situation grounded for MULTIPLE reasons. We get excited, our desires/biases lead to looking more into results that might not have much. It's when the non believer/skeptic had nothing where we can get excited. Ghost hunting still follows the rules of science and the non excited/non believers help us being the control and the ones to demand repetition.

Now, on regards of if I think Shane is a fucking demon? I honestly just wouldn’t be surprised if he was. Cause he does some bullshit I don’t think anyone else can get away with. Disrespecting Annabelle to her face and living? Something’s looking out for that tall motherfucker. I’m checking him with holy water if I ever get the chance.

8.5/10

Ghost Hunters

The most respectful ones I’ve seen. They treat the ghosts humanely, with dignity. And from what I’ve seen they get good results. They’re the only ones I’ve seen that have been at the sites for multiple days as well. They use what they learn from their prior day to expand and get better evidence with the spirits. It's very cool to see and honestly in a way, super professional of them that way...

Another thing I like about them is they debunk when they can, sometimes right on the spot. I respect people who do this, because like I said, no one takes this type of thing very seriously because so many people take every bump and creek as evidence and that gets…annoying and discrediting. So, I have mad respect for them.

8/10  

My Haunted House

Okay, Lifetime, what the hell are we doing? This is a hot mess. The most horrifying thing about the show is the shit acting. The stories are cool though. My spouse and I make fun of this show…a lot. Its just good for entertainment. Something to listen to in the background if you ran out of true crime podcasts.

Good shit. 4.5/10

[gayf1hoe]

Part 12

I stand waiting in the lobby of the hotel waiting for the shuttle to take us to the airport. I stand by myself for a while before there is any sign of other drivers. The first to emerge is George alongside Carmen. “Morning” they both say, however Carmen's tone is more joyful and happy and George maintains a monotone voice indicating he's still half asleep. “Morning” I reply, trying to match Carmen's enthusiasm. “How are things between you and Chalres?” George asks, “how did you even hear about that?” I reposed back inquisitively. “Pierre” he bluntly answers. Of course. That little shit. He has one big mouth. “We are all good now, we just had to talk things out”.

Moments later Charles emerges, he had stayed behind to have a shower, “Morning all” he says whilst pushing his slightly wet hair back, he walks over to me an hugs me, the smell of his freshly applied cologne making its way up and infecting my nostrils with a sense of pure bliss.

Whilst we stand talking it doesn't take long for an array of drivers to come flooding in, and soon after we are told the shuttle has arrived to take us to the small airport where our plane would be waiting. On the shuttle I am sat next to Charles and it doesn't take long for us to become immersed in conversation. Halfway into the journey he asks me “So when are you going to tell Mercedes you are not with them next year?”, “Soon” I reply, emitting as much detail as possible.

I open my phone to look at the schedule for the next 2 weeks. I see that there is time set aside for interviews for ‘Drive to Survive’ and a lot of training and practice. The journey goes by fast and I feel a sense of repetitiveness in my life, enduring the same cycle again and again has become a banal and mundane part of my life.

Before I become too intrinsically confined by my thoughts, we pull into the secluded small private airport just outside the heart of Las Vegas. I pull my suitcase to the plane and hand it off to one of the boarding staff and step up onto the plane and take a seat next to the window with Charles sitting next to me and Lando and Carlos sitting opposite.

The surge of the plane as we soar down the runway always sends a little rush of adrenaline down my body. I know I drive at high speeds for a living but there's something about going 200 mph up into the air that never fails to make me feel a little sense of childlike excitement.

For the majority of the flight I sleep since it's still the early hours of the morning, I feel like cold drips on my face and don't think much of it until I feel a massive gush of water and open my eyes to see a slightly drunk Max and Daniel standing above me, with Charles next to me laughing hysterically.

I stand up and heading to the toilet whilst whispering under my breath “fucking cunts” loud enough for them to hear and as I say that I hear all laughter stop, which tells me they comprehend how pissed off I am. It's kind of well known that the thing I love most in the world is sleep. I finish wiping my face and head back to my seat and see Max still standing there and as I approach he says “M/N I'm sorry” before I can say thank you he cuts me off by continuing “sorry you can't take a joke” this sends me over the edge “No I can take a fucking joke but I don't find pissing other people off funny nor entertaining now take your child like self back to your seat and shut the fuck up to keep me sane” as I say this he edges closer and Danny pulls him back and Charles pulls me back and Valtteri who had been sitting next to all of this stands in the middle of us and say “both of you need to cool down and get back to your own seats” Daniel let's Max go and he returns to his seat and Charles guides me but essentially pushes me back in my seat.

I slump back into my seat and just turn back over to try and get some sleep and it ends up working because the next thing I knew Charles was gently tapping my shoulder calling my name and saying my name. I open my eyes and the once dark cabin was filled by the rising sun of Italy.

I groan before becoming more aware of my surroundings and immediately stand up to collect my carry on bag and head for the door. As I step down onto the tarmac the warm Italian morning heat embraces me, as I wait for Charles I see Max approaching me. Thinking he's longing for a confrontation I turn around and head towards Yuki but he runs up behind me lightly lays his hand on my shoulder. “M/N” he said in his usual tone “I just want to say sorry for pissing you off earlier”, “and I'm sorry too Max, I shouldn't of spoken to you like that” I say back to him, “it's fine I know I can be a cunt sometimes” he says as he embraces me into a bro hug.

We part as Charles approaches us and we have to part ways as our teams have organised separate rides as we are heading straight to the track and our luggage will be taken to the hotel and put in our rooms.

Me and George sit in the very aptly picked Mercedes car and sit in silence towards the track. I really like George but this is why I'm leaving the team. I don't feel any connection with any of them and I know I'm partly to blame for not making the effort but I can't force something that isn't there.

We arrive at the track and it's full of cameras as they are filming a lot of content for Drive to Survive. We step out and head into the Mercedes garage which had the AC on which is a cool embrace from the increasing temperature of the area surrounding the Imola track.

We are greeted by our engineers and Toto who guides us around the garage giving us his regular little tour and he shows us to our drivers rooms and instructs us to get ready for media photos but I ask if I can talk to him for a moment.

As he closes my door I come out clean, “there's no easy way to say this but I'm going to a new team next year, and this isn't your fault or anyone else's fault it's just I want to explore other avenues”, he stands in silence for a whole and says “I respect your decision and I will always be here for you, we will make a media announcement today, may I ask what team you are going to?” He enquires, “Aston Martin” I say and he smiles and says “It could be worse you could be going to red bull he chuckles”. “If you want you can go to the Aston Martin garage and tell them you have told me and inform them they can do a press release after we have done ours”, “okay” I say whilst heading for the door.

I wander down the paddock passing all the other garages and walk into the Aston Martin garage and in my white Mercedes T Shirt I stick out amongst the emerald green staple of Aston Martin. I somehow bypass the media Camera interviewing Lance and make my way to Mike's office and this time knock assertively. After a few seconds he bellows “enter” and I open the door to Mike who is fixing his shirt collar in the mirror, “ah M/N what can I do for you?”, “I thought I would come by and tell you I have told Toto I'm leaving Mercedes and that he said you can release any press statements after they have”, he smiles at my answer and says “i'll get the media team on it now”.

I leave the garage and head back to mine and see Toto and my media manager Luca standing right in front of me, Luca hugs me and says he's sad I'm leaving so soon. Then Toto informs me they have made their media statement and he asks if it's alright if they post it and I say yes.

They made an Instagram post with a post of me on my first day with a caption announcing my departure.

Caption : “ TEAM ANNOUNCEMENT: We are saddened to announce that at the end of this season @M/N_L/N will depart ways with Mercedes AMG PETRONAS F1 Team.

We will be sad to see him go but wish him the best in the future”

As soon as they press the post button, I can't lie a certain sense of regret goes through my body. Maybe I did rush into things and maybe I should have given the team more time but I stay somewhere where I don't feel 100% comfortable.

And then I see a post notification from Aston Martin pop up and they had almost immediately announced I will be joining the team.

They had put a picture of me and Lance where we were laughing together in the Paddock.

CAPTION: “TEAM ANNOUNCEMENT: We are delighted to announce @M/N_L/N will race for Aston Martin next season, filling in the shoes of Fernando Alonso.

We can't wait for a success together”

I begin to read all the comments and see that most of them follow the structure of “Didn't see that coming” and a lot of people are speculating why?.

So I decide to write a more detailed post:

“Hello all,

I just wanted to hop on and confirm that I am leaving Mercedes for Aston Martin next season.

Whilst I understand this has come out of the blue and quite early on in the season it has been a long process and the decision was not made overnight. I understand the shoes I have to fill, replacing Fernando Alonso one of the best F1 Drivers will not be easy and I wouldn't of accepted the seat if I wasn't 100% up for the challenge and I can't wait to work with @LanceStroll, as we are already great friends and I'm sure we will become even closer.

I want to reiterate that my decision to leave Mercedes is not due to any conflict or arguments, I have so far enjoyed my tenure with the team and can't wait to make the most of the rest of the season.

I am thankful for their support so far, that has allowed me to win 4 out of 4 Grand Prix's so far in my rookie year and I can't wait for more wins.

I would ask that everyone focuses on the present season and focus on next season when it arrives.

Thank you,

M/N”

After a while of sitting down scrolling through Instagram comments seeing news articles on me, I am called by Toto who informs me the Drive to Survive crew wants to ask some questions.

I make my way over to their studio and take a seat in front of the camera and she begins to ask me questions:

Interviewer: How are you M/N?

M/N: Very well, slightly hot

Interviewer: So just introduce yourself, say what team you drive for and then clap the board.

M/N: I'm M/N L/N Driver for Mercedes AMG Petronas F1 Team

Interviewer: So we will begin by asking you how has the season been so far? And how have you coped with adjusting to Formula 1?

M/N: Well so far this season has been really strong, I think the entire Mercedes team has done really well. We are top of the constructors Championship, I am P1 in standings and George is P3. In terms of adjustment it's been relatively okay.

Interviewer: So we just recently heard you are leaving Mercedes for Aston Martin next season, so what made you want to leave the team so early on?

M/N: I just think I need to explore other avenues of racing and find somewhere where I feel I can perform 100% at my best.

Interviewer: looking back at the past 4 races is there anything you would change?

M/N: My performance of course.

Interviewer: Since you won all 4 races could you elaborate?

M/N: Well most of my race wins have been close with gaps as close as 0.3 seconds and I need to work on being completely ahead of the driver behind, and I feel I need more work on my pit exits as they always throw me off track, quite literally sometimes.

Interviewer: Has there been a driver you haven't gotten on with obviously we saw that with Charles at the start but you two have made up now.

M/N: Obviously all drivers will argue or get into some sort of conflict at some point we spend most of our time together. Sometimes we get sick of each other's personalities.

Interviewer: What do you think of your car this year and how well does it perform?

M/N: ermm… it's really fast is the best way to describe it, there's not too many oversteer or understeer issues and has handled every track very well so far

Interviewer: Lastly, what's your goal for when we speak again at the end of the season?

M/N: To be a rookie World Champion.

Interviewer: Thank You M/N

M/N: Thanks

I stand up and walk back outside into the direct sunlight and feel my skin start to warm immediately, as I walk through the paddock it's eerily quiet which is unusual and it isn't until I walk past catering I see why. All the drivers are in there talking at a normal level over each other so it's incoherent. I open the door and they all stop and then one by one they are all coming at me asking a plethora of questions such as “Why didn't you tell me you are leaving? When did you decide? Why not Ferrari”, “SHUT UP” I shout feeling overwhelmed “I will answer your questions if you come to me quietly and one at a time” as I say that I walk back out and head to my drivers room to put on my Race suit for the Media shoot.

I put on the suit and heard a knock at my door and it's the photographer telling me she is ready for my shoot. They just have me pull a few poses with and without the car in and outside the garage and have me pose with my helmet.

After half an hour she proudly presents her work to me but I'm not fussed about photos, they don't mean that much to me. I spent the rest of the day signing merch and drivers cards bypassing a huge amount of time.

When it approaches the end of the day me and George head back to the hotel and head to our rooms a lot of the other drivers left earlier, when I enter mine and Charles’ room I see a note on the sideboard that reads “Meet me by the beach at 8, Love Charles” I quickly get changed and run out the room to head to the beach. When I arrive I see a picnic set up with lights set around it and in the centre of it all is a smiling Charles.

“Well what do we have here?” I say approaching him, “well I thought we could celebrate you joining a new team together” I smile at his heartwarming gesture and hug him tightly and he guides me to sit down.

We indulge in lots of delicious food that Charles brought, how do I know?, it's edible if Charles had cooked it then I wouldn't have been able to eat it. We stare gazing at the sunset with the sound of the lapping waves echoing around us.

After some time we make it back to the hotel where we head straight out to the pool for a swim, most of the drivers have gone out for food or are in the hotel using the facilities. The only people out by the pool are Esteban, Logan and George.

We stand in the pool with the sound of the water feature creating a light splashing sound, the lights around the pool illuminate everything. As I stand with my back against the wall, we make eye contact and Charles begins to lean in and places his lip on mine, his tongue pushing forward on my lips. As we become more passionate Logan and Esteban jump in the pool causing a seismic wave of water to engulf our faces and cause us to split apart. Me and Charles death stare at the men before heading up to bed.

Today's race day and the pre race nerves are present like always. After a horrific qualifying session I am in P3 and Charles P2 and Max is on Pole. The pressure is on me, I know the Tifosi want Ferrari to win and that encouragement provides an immense sense of duty on Carlos and Charles to do their absolute best.

David Croft: And it's lights out and away we go for the Imola Grand Prix, and Charles Lecerc gets an excellent start maintaining P1, whilst behind him Verstappen and L/N fight for P2. They go wheel to wheel into turn 1 but L/N manages to brake later than Verstappen, shooting him up to P2.

As we enter lap 36 we have Ocon, L/N, Stroll and Russell boxing for inters as this light rain has caused less grip, is this really smart of them or is it a mistake?

Onto the last lap and Leclerc is struggling to maintain his grip with L/N behind him it will be an interesting outcome.

I'm sat behind Charles and despite the fact I could easily overtake him I didn't. I know how much this win would mean for him and I know if I get P2 in one race it won't destroy my chance of winning the WDC.

“M/N you are clear for an overtake” my engineer informs me “copy” I reply as we enter the last turn I purposefully understeer causing me to create a gap between me and Charles.

David Croft: And that mistake will cost M/N L/N. As Charles Lecerc crosses the line and wins the Imola Grand Prix, that is exactly what Ferrari needed.

“Chequered Flag, Chequered Flag, that's P2, P2, mode slow on” my engineer's tone not his usual excited tone but one that sounds disappointed.

“M/N what happened?” My engineer asks “Sorry, understeer”.

As I pull into the number 2 spot of parc ferme I must say I had forgotten what it felt like to come second but seeing how happy Charles was as he enthusiastically jumped out of his car, it felt like it was worth it.

I emerge from my car and Charles immediately hugs me and I congratulate him on his win, Verstappen who once again comes P3 looks incredibly pissed off. We enter the cool down room soaked from the rain but hot from the Italian humidity. With the re-play of the race on the TV Charles approaches me and begins to whisper. “Didn't you understeer on purpose to let me win?”, “of course not” I replied wanting him to feel like he won purely because he is an incredible driver I didn't want to beat him all because Ferrari once again fucked up on their strategies.

We are called to the podium ceremony and seeing Charles on the number one spot made me smile with pure joy. After we have finished getting sprayed with champagne I head to my drivers room to get changed out of my champagne and sweat covered clothes and get ready for my interview.

I am guided out by my media manager and guided to Will Buxton who is waiting to interview me, along the way I sign the odd fan merch before I reach him.

Will: Good evening M/N

M/N: Evening Will

Will: So what do you think of today's P2 result?

M/N: Well of course P2 isn't P1 which I had hoped for but P2 is still a good result and only reinforces Mercedes’ power.

Will: What do you make of the comments saying you let Charles win because of your relationship?

M/N: Well I didn't let him win, he won because of his driving and my stupidity on the corner. My relationship with him doesn't change how I race on the track. He is the same as all 18 other drivers on track.

After my interview I receive a message from Lando informing me that I am invited to a party. I head and look for Charles who is waiting for me in my room and we both leave together to head to the party as we walk through the paddock hand in hand we have a lot of fans asking us to sign things and take photos with them.

The club is not far from the track and is brightly coloured, and has music emitting from it which can be heard as I stand outside of it. We enter and it's almost clear to see where the other guys are given Lando and Carlos are standing on the table.

We make our way over to them and they all cheer at us. They make us sit down as they go over to get some shots and a glass of Coke for me knowing that no celebration could force me into drinking alcohol.

The whole evening Charles is constantly approached by Ferrari fans, most of which are Italian congratulating him as Ferrari is essentially a way of life in Italy.

Me and George sit next to each other and he turns to me and says “So today, I know what you did”, “What?” I question, “letting him win” he retorts, “I didn't” I say pleading my case. “M/N I'm not stupid you have excelled in every testing session and simulator and Wonersh the first 4 races and suddenly when your boyfriend has a chance of winning you cock up, coincidence, I think not”, “so what are you going to do? Tell Toto?” "Relax, I'm not telling anyone” he says laughing at my panic.

The whole evening Charles is up and down from the bar celebrating by pouring alcohol down his throat and by 4 AM I am dragging him to bed.