#look it up on YouTube I dare u

[welcometohollyweird]

cc deville has announced his hard ons to his audiences on more than one occasion during his guitar solos. in case you were wondering.

[blue-jisungs]

soft-hearted jealousy

#author's note ... i love wonwoo so fucking much did i ever guys tell u that. anywho this one is for zanzan bc i got inspired when we watched the kode ep <//3 and big big biiiig shout out to my beloved @l3visbby for proofreading <3 love u mother

#summary ... you're a little jealous of wonwoo n kerias frienship<//3

#word count ... 986

pssst the fic is referencing this cute vid:( wonwoo looked so good in it btw like what the actual fuck. also keria is my height and i fainted when i saw them hug bye

the door opened with a soft click and then all you could hear was soft patting of wonwoo’s footsteps against the wooden floor. 

sighing, you switched youtube to instagram and tried to act unbothered. but how could you? a reel of a new video featuring your fiancé popped out. a video you have just watched and it made you… a little jealous. 

“bedroom?” wonwoo called, trying to locate you. 

“yea” you hummed back, loudly enough for him to hear you. scrolling down, you noticed another reel. 

the love of your life with a cute, gamer boy. 

puffing your cheeks, you decided to exit instagram as well and check if you had any mails or texts. 

wonwoo entered the room, a small crease between his brows. 

“is everything alright, darling?” he asked, voice smooth as honey. which pissed you off even more. how dares he sound so attractive when you’re mad at him? 

“yes” you grunted a little too sulkily, drawing his attention. 

“oh really? because you didn’t run up to me once i entered the house” wonwoo teased and walked up to the bed, stretching his arms. you lost the battle with yourself and watched him, biting the inside of your cheek. how could one look so good in a plain white t-shirt and jeans? 

“yeah, im fine. how was your day?” you sighed and looked away once you saw he noticed your gaze. with a small smirk, he laid down next to you. the mattress dipped under his weight but that restored the balance – it somehow felt empty when he wasn’t there before. 

“it was good. me and mingyu did a live… i talked to my new friend… we might play a bit today” he answered, eyes tracing your face “oh, the video is out! did you see it?”

you hated how excited he was. and how much you liked it. keria is… 

“cute. i liked it” you mumbled and turned his back to him, fighting a smile. this is ridiculous. 

but it’s just not fair that wonwoo looked so handsome in that video and threw some flirty comments. he was so cocky in it too… 

“cute? yeah, keria is so adorable” wonwoo chuckled and you looked at him through your arm, shooting him a glare “what? what is it?” 

“nothing” you grunted. wonwoo’s lips broke into a grin, finally figuring you out. 

“something is clearly wrong. come on, talk to me” he purred, his hand sneaking its way under your t-shirt. 

“you looked good in the vid” grunting, you tried to surpass a smile. the warmth of his skin on yours sent shivers down your spine but your tried to remain calm. and not fold. 

“really? thank you, darling. keria said he liked my jacket” your fiancé hummed and leaned a bit closer, fingers tapping gently against your ribs. 

you couldn’t control the huff that left your lips. 

“we got along really well, i like his company. he’s so sweet” wonwoo continued to tease you and apparently that did the trick. 

“if he’s so sweet why don’t you date him, hm?” murmuring, you tried to hide your face in the pillow. wonwoo’s fingers ghosting over your skin in a circular motion made you melt, making it impossible not to crack.

“oh?” 

“forget it. go play your stupid games” you scoffed and wanted to move further away from him but wonwoo was quicker. he pulled you closer, calloused hands resting on your hips. 

“are you, perhaps… and i might be wrong here… jealous?” wonwoo’s cat-like adorned his features and you turned around, finally facing him. ebony eyes looking at you with amusement but also love, so much love, in them.

“yes, you’re wrong” you finally broke and cracked a smile, poking his buff chest. wonwoo tenderly grabbed your hand, placing it flat against his chest. his heartbeat softly drummed beneath your palm, making heat rise to your cheeks.

“come on, you know i would never…” he started and you shook your head. 

“it’s stupid and not that serious” you whined, covering your face with your other hand “it’s not the way you were… so flirty… and charming…”

“oh, pretty” wonwoo laughed wholeheartedly, the warm sound of his laughter bouncing off the walls of your shared bedroom. 

you leaned closer and hid your face in his chest, the smell of cologne filling your nostrils. his tender hands moved to the back of your neck, massaging it gently. 

“i made my angel jealous… by talking to my friend?” wonwoo sighed dramatically and you could hear the smile blooming on his lips. 

“it wasn’t just talking! you were so flirty…” your voice was a bit muffled by the material of his t-shirt “or i just… don’t know. you were really something that day, you know? so what if i’m a little jealous, i just don’t want to share you with the world… that much” 

wonwoo’s heart skipped a beat and he observed how you raised your head up. eyes meeting his, cheeks dusted with pink. you were so cute like that… cuter than keria. 

“can i make it up to you?” he hummed, hands trailing to cup your face. 

“a kiss. and no flirting with others, even if it’s a cute guy” you pouted and wonwoo leaned, capturing your soft lips in a sweet kiss. 

before you had a chance to deepen the kiss, he leaned away with a small frown. 

“but you do admit he’s cute, right?” your fiancé asked and you smacked his chest lightly.

“i wish we could adopt him” you laughed, and a grin formed on wonwoo’s face. 

“i’m afraid he’s a little too old for that…'' hiding his face in your hair, you decided to wrap your arms around his waist. 

“he’s 21… still a baby…” you huffed and shortly after, the sound of your laughs mixed in harmony. you guessed you might forgive him, it wasn’t really serious in the first place. 

masterlist <3

taglist. @mirxzii ,, @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @planetkiimchi ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @mon2sunjinsuver,, @eternalgyu ,, @rubywonu ,, @haecien ,,@mine-gyu ,, @nonononranghaee

[choccy-milky]

LMAOO thank you for your efforts and also for putting this cursed image in my head....between being a beater AND making the trek up to the ravenclaw tower constantly/every morning to pick up clora, seb never skips a workout💪

@myfangirlinessononeblog BAHAHA DONT WORRY ABOUT IT GIRL!! ill admit tho when i got the preview for your ask which just showed me "id like to apologize for my previous ask" i was like oh god...what did she send me that warrants an apology???😰 but this was so funny to me LOOL esp bc i thought everyone already knew that "spoiler" of sebs "death" by now, so its always fun to see when someone hasnt been on my blog for long/reads my fic first and then gets to it HAHA. also i love the manic energy of not being able to wait between chaps and NEEDING to vent to me LOOL relatable... weve all been there girly🤝🤝 (and im glad u liked seb beating himself up over being dead for TOO long BAHAH that really is so him...😭bro needs to relax) BUT THANK YOU ALSO!! IM GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING IT!!💖💖💖

@nerdycollectionstrawdewfan i want to do this so bad!! i just still havent got around to getting to that quest yet bc ive still barely started my second HL playthru bahha, and i want to experience the quest myself rather than watch it on youtube, BUT TRUST ME ITS DEFS SOMETHING IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT/WANTING TO DO!! and THANK YOUU💖💖

@jax-the-kneecapper BAHAH AWW TYY RIGHT BACK AT YOU🫂💖💖😭 and i mean if its to keep someone alive i guess i have no choice but to continue🫡👩‍⚕️👩‍⚕️thank u for the excuse🥰

BAHA I DO!! idk if you saw my last ask but i have a pregnancy oneshot in the works!! but unlike what i say there, it probs wont be finished by this month at the rate im going😭 BUT IT IS COMING!! and after that i have a really reallllyyy short oneshot (probs like 5k words. short for ME, that is) thats kinda dark/about yandere seb. but also dont worry about pressuring me cuz IM GLAD YOU WANT MORE OF THEM, IT JUST MOTIVATES ME!! SO THANK YOU💖💖💖🥹

and speaking of motivation!! THANK YOUU im glad you liked it and that you not only got attached to my ver of seb but even to clora as well!!😭ill defs keep writing for them as long as the ideas are still there, thank YOU for reading and for the lovely message!!💖💖💖

decided to end this off with the most UNHINGED ask i have EVER RECIEVED LMAOOOOOO GIRLLLLLLLL???? ok a lot to unpack here first of all im OBSESSEDDDD with the fact that after seeing that sight, ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS YOU THOUGHT OF WAS SEB AND CLORA??? LMFAOO AND SEBS REACTION TO IT😭😭😭IM FUCKING CRYINN GGGG LIKE SERIOUSLY....and second clora will ALWAYS be sebs fav cave no matter what (how dare you make me read that with my own eyes) and also THE VAGINA IS A MUSCLE!! IT CAN LOOSEN AND BECOME TIGHT AGAIN!! ✨THE MORE YOU KNOW!! ✨ but also no seb will NOT be traumatized bc he will NOT be seeing that LMAO😇 in the pregnancy oneshot im writing he doesnt look down there😇 he already almost passes out from seeing clora in pain, so i think looking down there and seeing whats happening would actually knock him out/put him in a coma LMFAOOO (also congrats to your sister🥰🥰i hope her cave isnt too wrecked🥰(ok im sorry 💀💀but also YOU started this🫵)

[slvtforfiction]

Could you write a Johnnie guilbert x f reader where the reader deals with sh. The reader is a famous song writer and YouTuber, she gets comments about her scars and just hate comments in general and johnnnie comforts her?

Late night hate

☆ yess ofcourse x

☆ Johnnie Guilbert X Reader

☆ Fluff/Comfort

☆ Cw: Self harm

☆ Hey guys! Before anything else I would ask you to request anything you want because I've lost a lot of motivation and it would really help! :D (Please look at pinned post to see if requests are open.)

☆ Creds to @cafekitsune for dividers :)

Masterlist | Pinned post

I finished editing my video and smiled to myself as I quickly posted it. I walked downstairs to where Johnnie was sat watching TV and smiled at him as I walked into the kitchen.

“Pumpkin!” He yelled lightheartedly and I giggled at the nickname, “Yeah?” I said as I walked back into the living room, “Cuddle?” He asked like a toddler and I giggled again.

“Give me a minute and I’ll be back I just wanna make a snack.” I said to him and he nodded as I walked back into the kitchen.

I grabbed some strawberries,kiwis,apples and honeydew melon and began to cut them up to make a fruit bowl.

As I finished cutting up the last kiwi I put it into the bowl and walked back into the living room. I sat down next to Johnnie with the bowl in hand and lied down on his chest.

I ate my fruit as Johnnie took little bits for himself and I cosied up to his chest as I watched whatever was on the TV.

After finishing my fruit bowl,I sat it on the table and pulled out my phone to check how my video was doing.

Johnnie looked over my shoulder as I checked on it,equally as curious as me. This wasn’t something I usually posted so I didn’t expect much from it.

However when I looked at the videos analytics it looked to be doing better than the previous videos I’ve been doing.

I smiled as I clicked onto the comments and began reading through,though I was quickly losing my smile.

Imagine showing ur fucking scars,wtaf.

^56 replies

She’s such an attention whore 🤣

^34 replies

Fucking emo

^21 replies

Y/n don’t listen to them x

^- shut up emo

^ view more replies

What’s her issue 💀

^15 replies

Go back to wearing jumpers u fucking emo

^- Leave her alone??

^- Maybe she should stop cutting 🤣

^view more replies

I stopped reading after that.

Johnnie looked down at me and pulled me into a bigger hug as I began crying into his shoulder.

He didn’t say anything,he just held me as I broke down into his shoulder.The silence of the house interrupted by my tears.

“It’s okay.” He said softly as he lifted me up,he sat me in his lap and I kept my face in his shoulder,not daring to look up.

He rubbed my back,whispering sweet nothings as he softly rocked me back and forth. “These scars do not mean you are ugly,these scars show you’ve survived a battle and you should be proud of yourself.” He told me as he hooked his index finger under my chin to make me look at him.

I sniffled and nodded my head,wiping my tired eyes and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Are you okay,princess?” He asked and I nodded my head tearfully.

He wiped away my tears,kissing my lips softly as he held his hands around my face. I smiled and giggled as he began kissing around my face endlessly.

“I love you,loser.” I said light heartedly and he smiled “I love you too,idiot.” He said and I giggled.

If you or anyone you know struggles with self harm,you’re not alone. Please reach out to a trusted family member,friend or professional.

Samaritans- 116 123

Shout- 85258

Childline- 0800 1111

[lowkeyrobin]

I'm sorry for spamming you I'm just really excited--

Reader who also streams and just rants a lot while they play Stardew Valley?

Like mid milking a cow or something they pause the game and rant about how to kiss someone or smth?...

-🌕 anon! <3

AH OMG DONT WORRY ABOUT SPAMMING I LOVE YOU GUYS 🫶🫶🫶 but I absolutely love this LMAO I made this into a preference setup instead of a oneshot bc I didn't know exactly who you wanted and I was having difficulty finding a way to stretch it out that long anyways. idk much about stardew valley so bare with me, I rewatched Tommy's video of him playing w Molly to help me 💀💀

MCYT ; stardew valley rants

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, freddie badlinu, niki nihachu, foolish gamers & quackity

warnings ; language

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

you'll just be doing some tasks and be like "you know, I've never kissed anyone before. like, how does that work?"

meanwhile Tommy came over a little bit ago to hang out after stream and he just looks at you like 🤨😨

"youve never kissed anyone?? wait... we haven't kissed before? y/n/n, what?"

you shake your head no, confirming that you guys actually never kissed somehow, your relationship was kinda new in both of your defenses.

"we've only been dating like, 2 months, it's fine"

"ARE YOU TRYING TO BE A KISSING VIRGIN FOREVER????"

literally have your first kiss on stream bro

THE EDITS 🫶🙏 I CANT EVEN

the cutest shit ever

RANBOO

you literally paused the whole game mid-farming to rant about some restaurant you and ranboo went to the past day

chat was exploding with "oooo they went on a date" and you were just like "guys it was good food, 10/10"

they get you to join a call with them and you guys talk about it together and your whole experience and how awesome the food was

not to mention the aesthetic of the restaurant was so well put together

you got back to your stream with a little story for your viewers

BADLINU

you started ranting about a movie/show you're fixated on at the moment

went through all the lore, all the characters, background info, etc

Freddie was watching and using tts to talk to you

he encouraged it dw

like he was holding a convo w you and everything it was the cutest shit ever

the edits.

also people clipped the whole like half hour long thing and posted it to YouTube like "y/u/n and badlinu talk about ___!"

you don't even remember it within a week but HE DOES

just one of those cute relationship moments he loves to think about

QUACKITY

you were playing stardew while he was playing gta and you were on a vc together

so obv it kinda sounded crazy 💀💀

"y/n I'm gonna drive my Honda Accord over there and kill all your cows!"

"I swear to God, quackity, don't even dare"

not really ranting but you were yelling threats at him and shit LMAO

NIHACHU

you guys were playing together 🫶

you were teaching her how to do everything and stuff

you eventually went on a tangent about things you do and don't like about the game

she was agreeing to your solid points and stuff

that turns into a rant about hair color and if she can color your hair for you LMAO

FOOLISH GAMERS

"Dude, how do people do that van life shit? I'd die doing that"

straight up hour and a half rant about how much you hate van life tik tokkers while playing stardew valley

he's in your chat like "Yes 100 percent" and adding onto your points LMAO

you both share a hate for van life mfs

[doueverwonder]

The thirteen probably complain SO MUCH about the old jokes but they all are old so they can't complain, its not allowed:

Not a single one of them is capable of sitting down or standing up without groaning loud enough for the entire house to hear.

They all pull the "when I was a kid we walked five miles in the snow uphill both ways to go to school" stories like 7 times a day.

Also the "If you aren't old enough to remember the revolution, you're not old enough for your opinion to matter to me" (but they don't listen to each other either so rlly its a shitty excuse).

"When I was your age I had three jobs and seven roommates all named William and was happy as a clam, while you young states get on the tick tock and make videos complaining about everything"

speaking of put 'the' before every app name, 'the tiktok' 'the youtube' 'the google' 'the instagram' 'the facebook' it's not necessary. California loses a bit more sanity every time they hear it, NY being their bf is definitly doing it on purpose by now.

"Western States" (said in the same tone as 'kids these days') -- a true and real quote by the state of Delaware.

they eat dinner at like 4 pm. because. logic.

They all have at least 1 stereotypical old person collection, those little porcelain statues, decorative plates, stamps, coins, fucking cuckoo clocks. props if u collect that stuff its neat but dear lord.

they're all stubborn about it but half of them need glasses, the other half should start looking into hearing aids, at least two or three should really be using a cane but it's going to take not being able to read menus, hours of going "WHAT?" from like 4 feet away, and a broken hip before any of them "admit defeat" or whatever they think it is.

They all lore drop like no ones business, one second you're watching tv while daring to sit next to one of them and the next second you're getting first had details of Valley Forge, “that sounds traumatizing” “it was character building”

They also bring up decades old drama that was between people that are long dead. The states all sitting around getting to hear about the pettiest feuds the founding fathers ever had. Tell Lin to get his pen ready we need a whole second musical just about this undocumented beef.

the old jokes are the singular thing Florida keeps his mouth shut on bc he’s older then all of them and if he’s not careful they’ll come for him next.

[guabie]

Imagine caitvi singer/rapper duo au but vi is the singer and cait is the rapper.

Cuz I’m just saying vi has a banging melodious voice and she’s so emotional in the best possible way ever like she defo writes her own songs and produces music.

And ik caitlyn got that dawg in her, she literally a sniper, she’s quick with it. And British like ik her uk drill goes crazy. (No one in her private school would dare chat back to her cuz they knew she’d smoke em)

Like imagine you get rap battles where someone starts squaring up to vi thinking “oh she obv the rapper right? She looks tuff asf” just to be pushed back and be absolutely violated by caitlyn.

And singing in public or on a show and vi just starts belting like there’s no tomorrow (she’s got hailee steinfield in her voice, i just know she gets a crowd going)

Also like imagine their first viral appearance online like it’s either on a small competition show or a YouTube video or just a jamming session and yk it gains some traction.

But their friends and family know nothing about this so they do it in secret (vi’s kinda but only vague details like she joined the school choir (she prolly goes on small gigs at cafes or sum unbeknownst to them)(she defo plays guitar too) but no one in caits has even a clue that she likes rapping cuz Ofc it doesn’t match who she’s meant to be in their eyes and it’s “unladylike”)

So imagine their shock when out of nowhere they go viral and their lil secret is out. Cassandra defo finds out from like a coworker or something and searches it up pissed that this is what her daughter has been up to and even more so when she hears the absolute filth coming out of caits mouth (she’s both horrified and weirdly proud yet won’t admit it) jinx defo gets mad cuz vi didn’t tell her and cuz caitlyn obv.

Cait and vi defo violate misogynists atleast once a song, like it’s their favourite thing to do, especially in person

Homophobes even morreee like they defo roast u then peck on the lips when alternating between each other (energiser 😉)

There’s a lot more I wanna say RAAAH 👹

[toynbeck]

u have like .. really good taste in media , so do u have any movie recommendations ?

my top favorites right now (in order)

1. I Saw The TV Glow (heartwrenching "coming-of-age"/psychological horror/wait.. he's "coming-of-age" so quickly--? Time wasn't right. It was moving too fast. I was 19, then I was 20, then I was 21. Like chapters skipped over on a DVD. I told myself, this isn't normal. This isn't normal. This isn't how life is supposed to feel. I thought about r-- really good movie if you haven't seen it already)

2. Possessor (trippy, violent sci-fi psychological horror. i wrote a song about this one. ive seen it around 5 times now and not a day goes by where i don't think of it.)

3. The Poughkeepsie Tapes (50% satirical mockumentary commentating on how america glorifies its serial killers, 50% found-footage horror, you'll need to look up warnings for this one [or just ask me, ive seen it 4 times, i can give you in-depth CW's without spoilers].)

4. Horse Girl (a girl's spiraling descent into conspiracy. trippy, mystery thriller)

other favorites in no specific order

• Antiviral (another Brandon Cronenberg film, sci-fi thriller, taking parasocial relationships to a whole new level)

• The PowerPuff Girls Movie (underrated and one of my favorite PPG-related things ever next to the now-banned rock opera episode, See Me Feel Me Gnomey)

• Longlegs (paranormal mystery horror film, an FBI agent gets more than she bargained for when delving into a new case. ASK ME ABOUT OZ PERKINS AND NICHOLAS CAGE'S PERSONAL CONNECTION TO THIS FILM AND HOW IT SAVED THE FILM ITSELF FOR ME AND MADE IT GO FROM "A WEE BIT DISAPPOINTING BUT STILL GOOD" TO "TOP FAVORITE" BECAUSE OF HOW IT IMPACTED THE WAY I VIEW IT... IF YOU DARE..)

• Catsoup (silent japanese cartoon, short film, you can find it on youtube! two cats go on a magical, somewhat dark, adventure. visually stunning)

• The Brave Little Toaster (the only disney film that will ever grace my favorites list. incredible. the anthropomorphization of objects is stellar, the characters i could go on and on about-- and the songs are fucking great. shoutout to mass car suicide [Worthless]. also this movie inspired one of my OC stories [Curtain Call].)

• I'm Thinking Of Ending Things (adaptation of my favorite book, very different from the book but i think it brings some excellent things to the table and tells it in a very cool way. psychological thriller, mystery. Jesse Plemons is in it, they grabbed him off the set of Breaking Bad and forgot to tell him he wasn't still playing Todd. [< compliment])

• Baby Driver (anyone who hates this movie doesn't know how to have fun. action-comedy, incredible soundtrack that is SYNCED TO THE HAPPENINGS IN THE FILM, main character is an autistic CODA who i love very much, i have a deep personal connection with this movie because of the person i watched it with and the impact it had on us.)

• I Don't Feel At Home In This World Anymore (action-comedy, crime, awkward girl and her awkward neighbor [who just met her but would kill and die for her] get in over their heads trying to retrieve a stolen laptop.)

• Poltergeist (1982, my ma's favorite horror film and one of mine too. paranormal, visually stunning, the practical effects are so fucking cool. also im decently sure it was inspired by Little Girl Lost, an episode of The Twilight Zone, because it's like a more fleshed-out version of that concept.)

• Home Movie (2008, it's on youtube, i can't remember if it's like overall good but it's the only instance thus far in which i think the "evil child" trope is done well so it makes my favorites list)

• Whiplash (ARE YOU RUSHING OR ARE YOU DRAGGING?!)

• Nightcrawler (crime thriller, guy's spiraling descent into abandoning all morals for the sake of his obsessive new project, and the gripping horrific ways that this choice affects those around him)

• Dread (2009, violent horror, guy's spiraling descent into abandoning all morals for the sake of his obsessive new project, and the gripping horrific ways that this choice affects those around him)

• Raggedy Ann And Andy : A Musical Adventure (on youtube, an animated childhood favorite that still holds up. shoutout to the blue camel)

aaaand some others im prooobably forgettinggg..? tried to include a bit of as many genres i could think of, since most of my favorites are horror :)

[autistic-katara]

ok i might get blocked by a couple ppl for saying this but the Jackson’s Diary fandom is seriously making me wanna become a proshipper out of spite (read the post before blocking me or whatever please)

like idk if u guys have checked the fandom tag on ao3 recently but theres been a bit of drama surrounding the fact that someone posted a smut-fic of Exer (an 18yo) and David (an almost 18yo, who was aged up A FEW MONTHS for the fic) and they were harassed into taking it down and making a fucking apology post ON AO3, THE PROBLEMATIC FANWORKS WEBSITE.

and this fic was tagged 100% correctly like it was very explicitly tagged as smut n stuff yet there were still a bunch of comments being like “uhm what did i just read 🤨” and when i made a comment defending the authors right to yk, not be harassed for making not even rlly problematic content someone who clearly would suffer withdrawal symptoms if they turned twitter off for too long started arguing with me abt how “erm ackhtually we should be allowed to comment harassment under ppls harmless and explicitly tagged fics cause theres no smut in this fandom and it shocked us” and u could just rlly tell they felt they were more righteous than God in their opinions and yeah so cut to tonight when i’m scrolling through the tag and i see a post titled “i’m so sorry” in which the author made a post basically being like “i’m so sorry for posting that ik it was disgusting it has been permanently deleted” which in the comments a few ppl were telling them that what happened sucked n stuff (myself included // judging by their reply they only did this to stop the harassment which yk, completely fair) and i went back to scrolling since i wanted an actual fic not fandom drama but like 2 posts down there was another post titled “please stop” or smthn like that where someone else made a post basically being like “guyssss can we please not write smut of these characters this fandom is so wholesome i dont wanna ruin it 🥺 anyways sorry this isnt a fic this just needed to be said lol” and like dude, my guy, WHAT THE FUCK?!

this is AO3, this is a fanwork archive that as far as i know was created (at least partially) due to the fact that ppl kept getting their “problematic” works taken down from other sites and the creators wanted to yk archive all fanworks. this is NOT a social media site where u can make callout posts abt how what someone else posted disturbed ur pure wholesome chaste scrolling by daring to uploaded something with *gasp* consensual sex between 2 consenting adults?! (or canonically 1 consenting adult and 1 consenting gonna-be-an-adult-in-a-few-months-but-isnt-much-younger-than-the-first-guy but u get the idea)

like guys, ao3 is not twitter. it is not tiktok, it is not tumblr, its not youtube, its not even wattpad. it is not a social media platform, it is a fanwork archive, specifically one that lets u post whatever kinda content u want (yes, even smthn depicting 2 consenting adult/almost adult participates that are in no way related having sex, ik its crazy what they allow online these days).

and look honestly the callout post wouldn’tve annoyed me this much if it was posted on yk an actual social media. like if it was posted on twitter or tiktok or on youtube as a video essay or even on here, like sure if i saw it id be annoyed that this fandom cant handle the tiniest bit of non-puritanicalism and fuck, maybe if it was on here id even drag myself into a pointless days-long argument that causes me suicidal levels of stress but on archive of our fucking own itself?! for the millionth time, IT IS NOT A SOCIAL MEDIA! u dont make posts like that that u want the rest of the fandom to read or whatever on there because its not that kinda website!

anyways yeah i hope i explained the situation ok, u might be able to check it out urself if u feel like it and yeah idk this whole thing just kinda felt like a wake-up call for me like yes i find incest and pedophilia disgusting OBVIOUSLY and i dont like ppl romanticising it in fiction but idk i’ve seen ppl talk abt toxic antis before and show screenshots of conversations where theyve acted super shitty but idk seeing this all unfold in person and having to argue with these hardcore antis just- i dont wanna be associated with these ppl, if these are what alotta antis r like i dont want anyone to assume i agree with them like at all, whether its other antis, proshippers, or ppl like me who have a super complicated opinion on it. like they harassed a person into taking down their smut and made call-out posts on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN abt how they dont want their wholesome pure fandom corrupted by gross dirty irredeemable sex. and just yeah hope no mutuals i seriously care abt unmoot or even block me over this since ik a few of u r antis but yeah srry for this i just kinda seriously hate this fandom right now :)

also incase anyone is typing out a “kill yourself pedo” reply/rb rn; i turn 15 on Friday, i am 2+ years younger than ur innocent bb minor boy David and his definitely not already a legal adult boyfriend Exer so yk

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

any sanrin hcs :? if u do.... share :? prettty please?

This isn't a ship I've thought too much about before but here's what I came up with!

Bonded with each other over their annoyance at their siblings. It started with just one throwaway comment but soon turned into them venting with each other when they need to about their siblings.

They hang out a lot together, in bonten they'll take on a lot of the same assignments.

Sanzu doesn't really understand all of Rindou's talk about music but he likes listening to Rindou DJ

They teach each other new skills for fights, Rindou helps Sanzu to get physically stronger and Sanzu teaches Rindou how to use a katana.

They bicker over who's bike to take when they go out together a lot, they both want to drive but want to be on the same bike.

Both Takeomi and Ran have their doubts about this relationship (in the good timeline, Senju openly threatens Rindou to not hurt her brother)

Rindou gets jealous of Mikey sometimes

In the good timeline, Rindou will sometimes guest star on the Akashi siblings YouTube channel.

Rindou also watches all their videos

Sanzu kisses Rindou first but Rindou is the first one to ask him out on a date and plan it

Ran thought Rindou was joking when he first told him

Sanzu likes the quiet type of dates best, the ones where it's just him and Rindou

Rindou always buys cheesecake for Sanzu

Sometimes Sanzu will go with Rindou to the gym but instead of working out, he just glares at anyone who dares to look at Rindou.

And finally, Sanzu once offered to cut off Ran's braids for Rindou after Rindou complained to him about something his brother did (ok but imagine this is how Ran got his short hair)

[thissortofsorcery]

Hiii, Gabii 💕

For the soft fic prompt meme:

14. Phone calls

and/or

17. fixing the other persons clothes absentmindedly or like tucking their hair behind their ear U KNOW WHAT I MEAN THAT SOFT STUFF

Thank you 🫶

YAM I FINISHED IT

I'm sorry it took me so damn long to fill this prompt for you. I know you like it when they're soft! I hope you like this one.

--

Steve never feels more grown-up than when he and Billy cook together.

It started during senior year — as a dare, of all things. They weren’t even together then, Billy hiding behind a wall of toxic masculinity to protect himself from Neil. He still tracked Steve’s every movement with his eyes. Steve was completely oblivious to his feelings and why his gut twisted every time Billy gave girls that look of his.

“I doubt you can cook anything with the shit you got in your house, pretty boy,” Billy had said, lip curling derisively at the content of Steve’s fridge. “When’s the last time you bought groceries?” 

Steve proceeded to cook the best improvised scramble he’d ever done out of sheer determination to make Billy eat his words. He’d had no idea it would turn out good when he started. Usually, his cooking attempts had a 50/50 chance of turning out wonderful or having to be tossed based on the smell alone.

Two years later, and Steve’s a lot better at cooking. He can make all the basics and some fancy stuff, too, with Billy or on his own — but the favorite meals are the ones he and Billy cook together, arms brushing, hips bumping each other out of the way, spoons being offered to taste. 

Cooking together is mostly a weekend thing since their shifts end hours apart. Steve’s used to fixing something up quick when he gets home from work so it’s ready by the time Billy is done at the garage. Saturday and Sunday are the days they go all out.

So Steve is caught off guard when his phone rings fifteen minutes before his shift ends on a Wednesday, and it’s Billy calling.

“I wanna try making Ceviche,” is what Billy says, skipping the ‘hello’ and going straight to the point. “So, do you want fish or shrimp?” 

“You want to make what?” Steve frowns, barely recognizing the name. He flails toward his work computer to open Google, but he doesn’t know how to spell it out. “Wait, where are you?” 

“At the grocery store, Harrington. Keep up,” Billy snarks affectionately. “It’s, like, cooking fish with lemon juice. It’s great.” 

“What are you doing at the grocery store?” 

“I got off work early. Fish or shrimp, Steve, come on.” 

“You know how to make this thing?” Steve says. He’s known Billy long enough that he doesn’t doubt Billy’s cooking skills, but he’s never heard of this dish before or that Billy had and liked it. 

“Yeah, pretty boy, it’s called YouTube. It has cherry tomatoes in it; you like those.” 

Steve grins. “I do,” he says. “Go with fish, I guess.” 

“Great,” Billy says and hangs up immediately. Steve smiles at his phone for no reason.

He’s home half an hour later, and he finds Billy at the kitchen counter already, dicing up the fish fillets into little cubes. Billy’s freshly showered, his work clothes traded for soft sweatpants and a tank top. Steve stops to admire the curve of his strong shoulders and the swell of his biceps, his eyes following the familiar expanse of golden skin that still makes his heart flutter years later.

“Hey,” Steve says, announcing himself as he enters the kitchen, so Billy has time to put the knife down before Steve hugs him from behind. Steve buries his nose in Billy’s shoulder, breathing deeply. Billy leans back against him, humming contentedly as Steve strokes Billy’s sides. 

“Hi,” Billy says. “I’d hug you back, but my hands are gross.” 

Steve kisses Billy’s shoulder and snorts. “It’s fine. How can I help?” 

“Can you get started on the garlic?” Billy directs. Steve follows, and they fall into a familiar dance in their tiny kitchen, sharing counter space and anecdotes about their days.

Cooking together is peaceful, the way few things in their lives have been, and Steve lets the feeling of home and family wash over him. His shoulders relax, and the headache that’s been threatening to bloom in his right temple fades away, insignificant in the face of Billy’s laughter at Steve’s impressions of his coworkers. 

A light touch to Steve’s forehead makes him blink. He looks away from the lemons he’s squeezing to find Billy brushing away a lock of hair that had started poking Steve in the eye the second he got lemon juice all over his hands. Billy’s hand is light, his fingertips soft as he tucks Steve’s hair behind his ear, and a pleasant shiver goes down Steve’s spine. 

“Thanks,” Steve says, a dumb smile on his face. Billy’s eyes are soft, watching Steve with familiar warmth. 

“Anytime, pretty boy.” 

The quiet, gentle gesture spreads warmth in Steve’s chest, down his spine, down his arms, all the way to his sticky fingertips. There have been thousands of them over the years they’ve been together, but they never fail to make Steve blush and duck his head like a preteen. They’re affectionate with each other really often, but there’s something about finding the space to have these little moments in the middle of doing mundane, everyday things that strikes a deep chord in Steve. 

“I love you.” The words escape Steve’s lips, the reflection of a feeling so natural to him that they’re behind every other sentence he says. 

The corner of Billy’s mouth ticks up, expression morphing into what used to be a smug smirk when he was younger, and now is a soft, fond expression that’s only ever aimed at a very select group of people.

“Sap,” is what Billy says, but the warmth in his tone is clear. 

“I know you like it,” Steve teases, smiling.

“What I’d like is for you to be done with those lemons,” Billy snarks, his elbow brushing Steve’s.

“Alright, alright,” Steve laughs. “I’m done.” 

When they’re finished, and the glass tray is in the fridge, Billy pulls Steve to the couch so they can make out for the hour it takes for the lemon juice to cook the fish. And it comes out pretty damn good — though Steve’s pretty sure he’s biased, only because he and Billy made it together.

[n3tworksucks]

Getting drunk with Quackity hcs?

YEA SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE(I HAD TO MAKE A SCENARIO)

warnings; swear words, alcohol, and use if ma'am one time

word count; 911

-this could go a few ways

-but for different situations yk?

-like if u both were to get drunk on stream or at a party, it could get pretty wild

-but if its a special occasion or just the both of you, you know, calm environment it could be the opposite of before

-I think it depends on whats going on around you

-like with friends and stuff, being with friends can already make you more energetic so when alcohols involved.. yea

-anyways. starting off with friends like I said it could be wild(most likely will be)

-so it'll probably be for a stream like if you laugh you take a shot or something

-with the alcohol in your system it won't make the challenge any easier lol

-so you're all laughing so much you can't really pay attention to the video you're trying not to laugh at

-its one of those situations where you can't look at each others eyes or you'll burst out laughing 

-but chat being little shits keep telling yall you laughed at the video just so you can drink more lol

-but you just go for it giving the Habibs what they want

here you were, not knowing what to do today for stream. you didn't tell your fans what you were doing when you tweeted that you were gonna start streaming soon, because you didn't know either to be honest, but you were pretty sure it would be fine and they were expecting probably anything but alcohol because you didn't drink much on stream, and if you did, it was for a special occasion like when you first turned 21 or celebrating 1 million subscribers on YouTube. but that was it. but you were just bored and didn't like the way that full bottle tequila was looking at you(you weirdo🤨). so you grabbed it and made your way to find your boyfriend to ask if he wanted to come. finding him in your shared room watching braking bad for the hundredth time wasn't unusua,l thats why you checked the room first. when he hears the door open he turns to look at you then look at your hand with the tequila in it. "ma'am." he says sorta like a question towards the bottle. "I'm gonna use it for the stream. you wanna come?" you didn't have to tell him you were gonna stream since he has all your notifications on everything."mmmmmmmmmaybe" he said like he had somewhere to be." ok then" you say " ok wait im coming" he said as he got up and walked to the bathroom to make himself look more presentable for a stream. you make your way to your office and sit down preparing for stream. alex then comes in and looks it you and your chair with a slight look of disgust and a small pout knowing he has to use the broken one in the corner. could he go and grab his chair from his office? yes. but will he? no. so you ask if he wants your chair, he nods his head with a smile. so you get up and grab the broken chair, not thinking about how non sober you would act with it.

first ever time skip lol.

both a laughing mess and faces are red, and cheeks hurt form smiling too much. now, you did doubt your chat, not thinking that they would send funny videos because you keep telling them they have the humor of 7th grade boys. but the actually did pretty good this time witch surprised you to be honest.

but here you were with your drunk self and drunk boyfriend, both not even laughing at the video anymore because you both will just laugh at anything at the moment. as you calm down and wait for the next video to play, one finally starts and its a video of a little kid falling off his scooter, aka your weakness. you didn't want to take another shot even though the taste wasn't as bad anymore, you just wanted to be a little easier on yourself tomorrow afternoon when you wake up. you lean back in your chair, gripping the arm rests for dear life, not daring to look at Alex in the eyes knowing you'll laugh, but you can feel him staring at you. you accidentally make some strangely funny little noise almost like a squeak because you're trying so hard not to laugh. sending you both into loud fits if laughter, without remembering the chair was broken, you lean back in the chair still laughing, but I guess you went too far back because then. THUMP. you and your chair were on the ground. but you didn't care, you just rolled over on your side holding your stomach. you couldn't even laugh anymore, you couldn't breathe you just laid there wheezing and so was Alex. the chat was filled with "LMAOO" and "OMG". " are you ok?" Alex says whilst he laughs, all you can do is nod and cough because you were sure if you talked you'd laugh more, if that was even possible. you laid there even though you calmed down and could breathe, but you were just tired. so Alex decides to end stream and get you both ready to knock the fuck out for 15 hours. tons of clips were all over twitter the next day and you both couldn't even remember any of them lol.

[blairelythere]

Never seen ultraman

What should I watch first to see if I like it or not?

Ultraman is a tokusatsu series with a very large variety of tones and styles. Each season is distinctly different from the last, especially in the New Generation era. Some seasons are very serious and gritty, some are slice-of-life, and some are light plot/heavy action. It's up to you on what you'd prefer!

I want to preface with the three eras (and sub eras) of Ultraman, just so you're aware of these terms when they come up:

Showa (1966 - 1987)

Heisei (1996 - 2012)

-> Heisei Trilogy/Part 1 (1996-1999)

-> Heisei Part 2/Phase 2 (2000 - 2012)

New Generation (2013 - Present)

-> Reiwa (2019 - Present)

That being said, I give you 5 equally valid options to begin:

Option 1:

Ultraman (1966)

Start with where it all began!*

Ultraman (1966) is Japan's take on the Twilight Zone but with a superhero-esqe twist. If you enjoy older sci-fi like the early seasons of Doctor Who or the first Star Trek, you'll greatly appreciate the practical effects, deep but episodic plots, and the unique kaiju/seijin.

From there, watch in order of release and enjoy just how much the show evolves. All the highs and lows.

*(Side note - technically Ultra Q (1966) is the first show but does not feature Ultraman whatsoever. This show serves as a prequel to the idea of kaiju and seijin in the modern world. If you're a completionist, you can start here and be amazed at how there are *still* monsters and plots making reappearances from this show)

Option 2:

Ultraman Tiga (1996)

Ultraman Tiga is the beginning of the Heisei Era and is widely regarded as one of the best series in the entire franchise.

I have lots of love to give to Tiga specifically, and this post of mine explains why that is:

Option 3:

Ultraman Mebius (2006)

Ultraman Mebius is the 40th anniversary of the Ultra series and is a beautiful continuation and love-letter of the Showa Era timeline. It features returning cast members, monsters, and plotlines from Ultraman, Ultraseven, Jack, Ace, Taro, Leo, and 80 (which all take place on the same Earth).

This show is a perfect introductory piece to the series because it exposes you to such a large amount of lore from the past while recontextualizing it with modern effects, richer storytelling, and a more serious tone. Mebius has so much heart, happiness, and hopefulness. It's a very positive and "heroic" type show.

Option 4:

Ultraman Orb (2016)

Ultraman Orb is, even while nestled in the near-middle of the New Gen Era, a fantastic starting piece and my typical recommendation for starters. It's quite fun and light-hearted but has an intense emotional core surrounding lost love and a broken friendship. The action and special effects are top-notch, and the main villain is an ICONIC character who pops up many times in later shows.

This show introduces fusions, which become a frequent New Gen trend (Orb does it the best of all). Great choice if you're looking to get dropped somewhere not too confusing or plot-intensive yet still action-y and engaging.

Option 5:

Ultraman Blazar (2023)

Ultraman Blazar is the newest season of Ultraman and started airing back in July. As of writing this, we are currently at Episode 8.

Blazar is unique and inventive so far in both its plot and aesthetic. It has a semi-serious sci-fi/military feel mixed with amazing new kaiju and.... a really strange Ultra lol. Blazar is unlike most thus far. He's primitive and beastly, kinda like a caveman.

It may not be the most completely accurate representation of the series as a whole, but nothing beats the excitement of watching the newest season as it airs!! The Tsuburaya official YouTube channel simulcasts each new episode as it airs in Japan (with japanese or english audio and subs).

~

I wish you luck on your multiverse-spanning Ultraman adventures!

Feel free to ask more questions if you have any 💛💛💛

[cocogum]

Tot had a QnA today (Youtube). Idk if you understand/speak French, but if you do, did you get anything from it?

Hey Anon!!

Yeah I do speak and write French (given how it’s my first language)

But about the interview, yes I know about it but I haven’t watched it nor am I willing to see it.

The reason why I wouldn’t dare click on that video is because Tot is just…well he just can’t stop yapping and revealing too much. That’s always been an issue with him. When it came to doing interviews with people, Tot won’t stop spoiling and he WILL ruin the remaining episodes for you. That’s just how he has always been so I usually tend to avoid his interviews until I finish a season to see what he’s gotta say about it.

With the Ankama and Waven accounts, he obviously spoils because he’s talking about the game and the game is usually much more caught up than the show. But for the accounts it’s always easier to dodge them cuz all u gotta do is mute them or block them for a while.

When it comes to the interviews though, DO NOT WATCH THEM IF YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED THE SEASON (if you don’t like spoilers that is). Tot even said he’ll spoil a lot on that video (he said this in the description of the video but it was written in French). And even if you don’t understand French and you’re willing to watch the video, Tot WILL use scenes from the remaining episodes so you’re definitely not safe from visual spoilers.

But don’t worry once the season is finished, I’ll go take a look at it. Tot also usually talks about a lot of things that happen after a season in interviews so it would be really interesting to see what he’s gotta say for this one. I’ll talk about it if the video doesn’t have English subtitles 💖💖

[anorc-writing]

Deconstructing Daphne Greengrass

Ice Queen. Borderline sociopath.

Rich girl with a a heart of gold.

Well, in the last 20 years or so there have been many, many Daphne Greengrasses in fanfic.

And I'd just like to say, my name is An Orc, and I'm here to burn it all down. And yes, I'm aware that I've written tropey Daphne Greengrass fics.

But also, I've written, and continue to write fics where Daphne isn't quite as much of a paint-by-numbers love interest.

Though I've got a fic that deconstructs that too in the works, because of course I do. (Healer Harry and the annoying impatient. Maybe coming late 2025)

Before I dive into the details, I'll lay out some basic ground rules. Don't worry, I'll explain where this goeth eventually. Oh, and we're going to use snippets from Cursed Child, because nothing in life is totally worthless. Not even bad fanfic. (Dr Hadley on Youtube has a great vlog about Daphne, and has written Daphne into fanfic, so if you wanted background, go watch that. He's also quite funny.)

Daphne's Blonde.

Daphne's got blue eyes.

Daphne's a girl.

Daphne isn't a genderbent Draco Malfoy. There's no point in doing that.

Has a little sister called Astoria.

There's a blood malediction that's going to kill Astoria.

Daphne has at least a passing resemblance to 'Anonymous Slytherin girl extra' in the film "Order of the Phoenix"' (Who isn't that anonymous, and apparently at least at some point found the whole Daphne Greengrass phenomenon all rather funny.)

The ship is called Haphne, and it's Harry Potter and Daphne Greengrass.

Daphne Greengrass canonically has an OWL Practical just before Hermione Granger in Order of the Phoenix, the book. She never appears before or after in canon.

Daphne was in Slytherin house and is a pureblood. (That's in the Hogwarts 40, ephemera from JKR that she used in planning. Shame she didn't do some remedial maths beforehand too.)

Epilogue? What Epilogue. EWE is the fan movement that simply rejects JKR's epilogue as well, trash. I'm signed up unless I'm not.

Now, those are the things I regard as 'immutable' parts of a given OC called Daphne Greengrass. And I'm a book reader, who happened to see the films first, so I don't much care what mess various directors made of the setting.

So, first off, I'll lampshade #1 by saying that Daphne is blonde, for some value of bleach. (I have an old female friend who there's only one person alive that remembers her actual natural hair colour, and well, the extra wasn't a natural blonde either, so there you go.) And while that sounds silly, it gives Daphne some... dare we say, character. Why does Daphne change her hair colour? (It's mousy brown, honestly, she just wanted not to look less plain.)

Blue eyes at #2, because she has to have eyes, and they need a colour. Blue is, if you missed it, a colour. (And there's a sodding U in it. Get over it, Americans.) And the "Book of Names" that researched all the names in the Hogwarts original 40 list from JKR, put the Greengrass surname in Norfolk, and they're probably Saxons. So Daphne has blue eyes. And may be from Norfolk.

It would be weird for a boy to be called Daphne, so that explains #3.

Number four, well, the point of a female OC is to ship Harry with her. Seriously. JKR can't write romantic relationships at all convincingly, so Harry ended up with a lump of wood in a red wig. (And that's not picking on Bonnie Wright -- she can act, and has done so since quite well. Cloves et al are hacks, which doesn't help.) Having a Slytherin, and a Pureblood girl means she's literally from the other side of the tracks. (In keeping with the tiny tatters of CC we can regard as 'not shit', Greengrasses are fare more politically moderate than Malfoys.) We never really got to see how the SP lived, and this lets us go wild.

Badly written Regency romances are a fandom trope. I'm no less guilty, but that's jsut, like, an opinion.

There's a legend that JKR intended the Non Nazi Slytherin Students to come back from Hogsmeade with Horace Slughorn, when he leads the people of Hogsmdade as reinforcements in the battle of Hogwarts. As a writer, the setup is all there in the text, but, alas, the last three books (at least) have shoddy editing due to the massive amounts of gold they were making. So she left it out, and that leaves the implication that they're all Nazis. Literally 'Evil House.' Which is far too simplistic a view, and my god you did a personality test on eleven year olds, and now a quarter are Death Eaters. To coin a phrase, Bad Rowling, No. Being ambitious isn't evil. (And having met, over the course of many years, some quite evil people who were not ambitious, there's Death Eaters in Hufflepuff.) So Rowling left that out. I'm actually okay with the idea that the Slytherins that weren't evil hid in their dorms and common room during the Battle of Hogwarts. They'd had rubbish Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers for at least five years out of the last seven, so most of even the Seventh years were sitting ducks; just like Voldemort intended. That DADA curse is 'preparation of the battle-space,' as was making sure Snape was a bastard to Potions students. Less Aurors, less Healers. A nation weak, ready to be taken over.

Number five, having Daphne have a sister, family etc, well, there are great 'Daphne Greengrass is a penniless orphan' fics, but I'm trying to parody what's there, so she'd better have a family. And that lets Harry meet a magical family that aren't the Weasleys. That would make two families he's met. In total. (And I can lampshade the ever-loving putty out of Harry having a tiny circle of friends.)

Number six, the blood malediction, possibly a Greengrass family curse, is free conflict, so what's not to love. Also, it means there's a real risk Daphne herself may be at risk of snuffing it. And a mystery for Harry to solve. If only to discover why that Greengrass girl's trying to break into the restricted section.

(Oh, and I just had a sodding plot bunny.)

Number seven, there's a running theme in fan wish-fulfillment that Daphne Greengrass must be gorgeous. The only thing is, that surely, we'd see that mentioned in the books. Ginny Weasley is gorgeous, Cho Chang is gorgeous. And Harry's possibly a tiny bit superficial. I generally regard this is just cringeful, and I love trying to squeeze sense from the world-building. If a girl was really pretty, she'd be mentioned in the book, right? (Ignoring that JKR didn't make enough characters for the roll size she wanted for Hogwarts etc etc.) In a way, (it's called parodic deconstruction, I think?) so Daphne must either be... good looking but not stand out, or she had a glow-up after school. She's also not atrociously ugly -- she's unremarkable. I parody this in one of my worse stories with Daphne literally having a magical glow-up, courtesy of her mum. A middle ground is that like the reference face from the films, she's pretty, but horsey from some angles. Fans who've met said person in ... person say actually she is gorgeous, so there's that. That further lends weight to the 'otherwise unremarkable girl' angle, where she might age into her looks, but at Hogwarts, is... shy. (Oh god, terrible Hughes films flashbacks.)

Number eight, shipping. I ship so hard I have my own harbor. In real life, actually yes. So I'm quite prepared to have fics where Daphne shock, Horror, isn't with Harry. (I've got one (not quite released yet) where he... brace yourselves... becomes friends with her post-war. And that's all. A friend. (I'll do the screwing it up in a sequel, because I am an orc. Torturing people is our thing.)

Or... is gay. Because that's a thing, folks. Some people are. It just happens. Not going to try and take on all that crap, but hey, have a gay Daphne story. She stays gay, because that's how people tend to work.

Number nine: There's a fixed point in time in canon where Daphne Greengrass exists, and did her OWL Charms Practical at the same time as Hermione. That leaves the question open if she was even at Hogwarts in Harry's sixth year. Given the reappearance of a dark lord, maybe they fled. Lots of possibilities. Also, on the flip side, sixth year is the one year Harry could really meet Daphne at Hogwarts and change canon a little but not a lot. (Or maybe with an alternative point of view in a planning session, things could go very differently indeed.) People have done 'She's actually working for Voldemort, willingly or otherwise' to death, so I've left it alone. Harry might not be a genius at telling if someones' trustworthy, but Crookshanks, Hermione's cat, is half-Kneazle and magically gifted in this regard. (See Prisoner of Azkaban.)

There's no point arguing a single point in time, unless someone wanted her to be imaginary, and that's pretty limited as a basis for a story.

Number ten: If you make her not a Pureblood in Slytherin, make her someone else. She's an OC with a name, respect the three things we already know about her. (And I'm quite prepared to skewer any Siberian Pricness, Ice Princess etc tropes at this point.)

Number Eleven: No epilogue.

Well, unless she was over and done with Harry before he married Ginny and had 2.4 children. I've played around in this non-plot non point a bit, including skewering Cursed Child repeatedly. It's quite hard to have Harry, who only wanted a family, be an absent father and still be in character. Cursed child never managed it, but I've had a couple of goes so far.

Or maybe AFTER cursed child starts. And suddenly I'm writing 40-year old Harry Potter getting divorced, meeting someone from school... there's a rich vein to mine here. And yes, I've got a satire of a Hallmark Christmas romance with Harry and Daphne post-Harry's divorce, of course I do. Maybe released late 2025 at this rate.

Now for some freeform ranting.

One of the valuable things, as a writer about Daphne is that she can be unfamiliar with muggle Britain, and Harry's a native. So you can do the wonders of... Tesco. Basically, Harry's discovery of the magical world, upside down, and backwards. Or to be posh, holding a mirror up to contemporary Britain. See that sounds all literary, and this is just fanfic.

But like any idea, I can look at the back side, and Harry could, alternatively make a complete berk of himself, trying to show someone that already kind-of-knows muggle culture and technology things, and instead of childlike wonder she can say "I had one when I was eight, Potter. I wasn't born yesterday."

And there's even room to explore the idea that maybe she doesn't have a heart of gold.

There are some fantastic fics where she's the bad guy.I haven't written any of them. Personally, I'd rather not glorify bad people. But she can easily be the 'Slytherins will take any means to achieve their ends' character. And while I can't see the attraction about writing about psychopaths, just having someone prepared to bend the rules in the service of her own life is a nice contrast to the background characters 'who do nothing'. She could even, shock, horror, be a criminal, inasmuch as she did whatever to get through the war. (And I've got a neat fic stuck in plot development hell where she's a fraudster... but not a death eater. And Harry is a post-war Auror, so he gets to play detective and play the hypocrisy card. It may be a noir detective novel in wizards robes.)

Because so many writers have tried to make Daphne very special and extra, I've gone and written 'A very ordinary girl' where Harry slowly falls in love with someone who's... an ordinary witch at Hogwarts. While that's a short story, I feel disinclined to write more in that setting, because by the end, all Daphne and Harry want in some privacy, post-war. So they get to have it, in a way, as long as I don't write another chapter of it.

And one of the interesting things is that the very idea of 'A very ordinary witch' from an ordinary magical family isn't something that appears in the books. So ah, that's really interesting, even if it requires tricky niche world-building to fit inside Rowlings quick and dirty worldbuilding.

But, given all that, could Daphne have... interests?

She could be a music dork. They don't mix with non music dorks at school much, and they can be quite unusual sorts ... once you get to know them, though they might be quite as mice outside of doing music. And we know there's a choir. Kinda.

Gobstones is a thing, but Harry doesn't play, nor do any of his friends. Therefore, book canon Daphne Greengrass might be eighth seed in the gobstones club, and Harry would never know.

People then jump onto 'she's a genius, she's Hermione's academic rival!' But that's kinda silly. And would have had Hermione grizzling about her at some point, surely?

Hogwarts doesn't have printed class rankings on the walls at any point, so Hermione, for all we know, may not actually be ... shock horror, the brightest witch at school. She studies hard, but in seven years, hadn't invented a single spell. Snape invented several by the time he was in sixth year. (Halfblood prince, his potions journal has his own spells in it.) I'm not saying Daphne is either. But she doesn't answer questions in class like Hermione, though Hermione is suspiciously quiet about all those electives she takes and the boys don't. (Maybe Daphne's an arithmancy nerd? Could be. And what would that actually mean, in practical terms?)

It's possible, nay likely that students with special interests might do better in the classes they are interested in, but they may not necessarily be the best in the school... if they are interested in something related to the class, but not in studying hard to get good exam marks. That's just how learning works.

On the other hand, Hermione Granger doesn't attend Hogwarts for the 97-98 academic year. (maybe she goes back later.) It's possible that every other student, apart from being bullied and possibly tortured by the Carrows, also had a chance to get some house points for a change without Granger hogging all the questions in class. If Daphne attended Hogwarts after 1996, she might have actually got to NEWT level in her classes. So it's possible a post-war Daphne is better at magic than say, Hermione, at least excluding Hermione's specific skills, like Polyjuice making.

Weird worldbuilding fact. In sixth year, in 'Halfblood Prince' there are 'two other Slytherins' in Potions with Harry that aren't Malfoy or Nott. And they are never named, nor are they mentioned again. One of the ''one simple trick's" of writing is to provide the bare minimum and have the readers fill in the rest. It's... possible one is Daphne.

The curly haired elephant in the room.

Tracey Davis is possibly Daphne's best friend. She certainly is in many fics. She is... definitely in the same dorm in Slytherin with Daphne. I've settled on the idea they're neighbors out of school. It's the simplest possible solution of Daphne needing a bestie.

Which can't be Pansy, or we'd notice Daphne more.

And cant' be Millicent, because Daphne is at best a hanger-on in Pansy's gang. And... we'd notice Daphne more.

What's Tracey like? Who can say. She's a halfblood in Slytherin (according to the list.) Poached this pic from Living Dangerously, and why not have Tracy wear a brown hat?

[milyas-girlblogging-era]

(cw lobotomies, hysteria, tadpole extraction, bg3, slightly graphic? but v vague)

was tidying up my profile and saw one of my reblogs about lobotomies and baldur’s gate. ANYWAYS in short, it reminded me (possible spoilers under cut)

VOLO WAS LITERALLY LOBOTOMISING TAV. like if u chose to let him try and remove the tadpole, it’s pretty much JUST like a lobotomy.

we were looking at the history of it in class because i’m an extension english student i fuck with literature and we read this piece written about lobotomies and it explained THE ICE PICK METHOD AND EVERYTHING.

up until that point, i always imagined they cut ur head open and cut up ur brain but NO they poke the little ice pick in the corner of ur eye.

and in bg3, guess what tool volo whips out to extract our tadpole

THATS RIGHT

U GUESSED IT

an ice pick.

i thought ppl were just throwing around the term “lobotomy” without knowing what it actually really is, but no he most certainly is lobotomising us, he even uses an ice pick, the most famous technique popularised by some dickhead i forgot the name of but it was what made them much more efficient and popular among husbands whose wives dared to have an opinion or anyone who happened to feel a bit “hysterical”.

(ss from “Gamerpillar” on YouTube)

so yeah! thanks Larian for the lobotomy reference by having him use an ice pick specifically!