#look it up on YouTube I dare u

[welcometohollyweird]

cc deville has announced his hard ons to his audiences on more than one occasion during his guitar solos. in case you were wondering.

[slvtforfiction]

Could you write a Johnnie guilbert x f reader where the reader deals with sh. The reader is a famous song writer and YouTuber, she gets comments about her scars and just hate comments in general and johnnnie comforts her?

Late night hate

☆ yess ofcourse x

☆ Johnnie Guilbert X Reader

☆ Fluff/Comfort

☆ Cw: Self harm

☆ Hey guys! Before anything else I would ask you to request anything you want because I've lost a lot of motivation and it would really help! :D (Please look at pinned post to see if requests are open.)

☆ Creds to @cafekitsune for dividers :)

Masterlist | Pinned post

I finished editing my video and smiled to myself as I quickly posted it. I walked downstairs to where Johnnie was sat watching TV and smiled at him as I walked into the kitchen.

“Pumpkin!” He yelled lightheartedly and I giggled at the nickname, “Yeah?” I said as I walked back into the living room, “Cuddle?” He asked like a toddler and I giggled again.

“Give me a minute and I’ll be back I just wanna make a snack.” I said to him and he nodded as I walked back into the kitchen.

I grabbed some strawberries,kiwis,apples and honeydew melon and began to cut them up to make a fruit bowl.

As I finished cutting up the last kiwi I put it into the bowl and walked back into the living room. I sat down next to Johnnie with the bowl in hand and lied down on his chest.

I ate my fruit as Johnnie took little bits for himself and I cosied up to his chest as I watched whatever was on the TV.

After finishing my fruit bowl,I sat it on the table and pulled out my phone to check how my video was doing.

Johnnie looked over my shoulder as I checked on it,equally as curious as me. This wasn’t something I usually posted so I didn’t expect much from it.

However when I looked at the videos analytics it looked to be doing better than the previous videos I’ve been doing.

I smiled as I clicked onto the comments and began reading through,though I was quickly losing my smile.

Imagine showing ur fucking scars,wtaf.

^56 replies

She’s such an attention whore 🤣

^34 replies

Fucking emo

^21 replies

Y/n don’t listen to them x

^- shut up emo

^ view more replies

What’s her issue 💀

^15 replies

Go back to wearing jumpers u fucking emo

^- Leave her alone??

^- Maybe she should stop cutting 🤣

^view more replies

I stopped reading after that.

Johnnie looked down at me and pulled me into a bigger hug as I began crying into his shoulder.

He didn’t say anything,he just held me as I broke down into his shoulder.The silence of the house interrupted by my tears.

“It’s okay.” He said softly as he lifted me up,he sat me in his lap and I kept my face in his shoulder,not daring to look up.

He rubbed my back,whispering sweet nothings as he softly rocked me back and forth. “These scars do not mean you are ugly,these scars show you’ve survived a battle and you should be proud of yourself.” He told me as he hooked his index finger under my chin to make me look at him.

I sniffled and nodded my head,wiping my tired eyes and gave him a quick peck on the lips. “Are you okay,princess?” He asked and I nodded my head tearfully.

He wiped away my tears,kissing my lips softly as he held his hands around my face. I smiled and giggled as he began kissing around my face endlessly.

“I love you,loser.” I said light heartedly and he smiled “I love you too,idiot.” He said and I giggled.

If you or anyone you know struggles with self harm,you’re not alone. Please reach out to a trusted family member,friend or professional.

Samaritans- 116 123

Shout- 85258

Childline- 0800 1111

[lowkeyrobin]

I'm sorry for spamming you I'm just really excited--

Reader who also streams and just rants a lot while they play Stardew Valley?

Like mid milking a cow or something they pause the game and rant about how to kiss someone or smth?...

-🌕 anon! <3

AH OMG DONT WORRY ABOUT SPAMMING I LOVE YOU GUYS 🫶🫶🫶 but I absolutely love this LMAO I made this into a preference setup instead of a oneshot bc I didn't know exactly who you wanted and I was having difficulty finding a way to stretch it out that long anyways. idk much about stardew valley so bare with me, I rewatched Tommy's video of him playing w Molly to help me 💀💀

MCYT ; stardew valley rants

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, freddie badlinu, niki nihachu, foolish gamers & quackity

warnings ; language

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

you'll just be doing some tasks and be like "you know, I've never kissed anyone before. like, how does that work?"

meanwhile Tommy came over a little bit ago to hang out after stream and he just looks at you like 🤨😨

"youve never kissed anyone?? wait... we haven't kissed before? y/n/n, what?"

you shake your head no, confirming that you guys actually never kissed somehow, your relationship was kinda new in both of your defenses.

"we've only been dating like, 2 months, it's fine"

"ARE YOU TRYING TO BE A KISSING VIRGIN FOREVER????"

literally have your first kiss on stream bro

THE EDITS 🫶🙏 I CANT EVEN

the cutest shit ever

RANBOO

you literally paused the whole game mid-farming to rant about some restaurant you and ranboo went to the past day

chat was exploding with "oooo they went on a date" and you were just like "guys it was good food, 10/10"

they get you to join a call with them and you guys talk about it together and your whole experience and how awesome the food was

not to mention the aesthetic of the restaurant was so well put together

you got back to your stream with a little story for your viewers

BADLINU

you started ranting about a movie/show you're fixated on at the moment

went through all the lore, all the characters, background info, etc

Freddie was watching and using tts to talk to you

he encouraged it dw

like he was holding a convo w you and everything it was the cutest shit ever

the edits.

also people clipped the whole like half hour long thing and posted it to YouTube like "y/u/n and badlinu talk about ___!"

you don't even remember it within a week but HE DOES

just one of those cute relationship moments he loves to think about

QUACKITY

you were playing stardew while he was playing gta and you were on a vc together

so obv it kinda sounded crazy 💀💀

"y/n I'm gonna drive my Honda Accord over there and kill all your cows!"

"I swear to God, quackity, don't even dare"

not really ranting but you were yelling threats at him and shit LMAO

NIHACHU

you guys were playing together 🫶

you were teaching her how to do everything and stuff

you eventually went on a tangent about things you do and don't like about the game

she was agreeing to your solid points and stuff

that turns into a rant about hair color and if she can color your hair for you LMAO

FOOLISH GAMERS

"Dude, how do people do that van life shit? I'd die doing that"

straight up hour and a half rant about how much you hate van life tik tokkers while playing stardew valley

he's in your chat like "Yes 100 percent" and adding onto your points LMAO

you both share a hate for van life mfs

[jeepersjpeg]

u have like .. really good taste in media , so do u have any movie recommendations ?

my top favorites right now (in order)

1. I Saw The TV Glow (heartwrenching "coming-of-age"/psychological horror/wait.. he's "coming-of-age" so quickly--? Time wasn't right. It was moving too fast. I was 19, then I was 20, then I was 21. Like chapters skipped over on a DVD. I told myself, this isn't normal. This isn't normal. This isn't how life is supposed to feel. I thought about r-- really good movie if you haven't seen it already)

2. Possessor (trippy, violent sci-fi psychological horror. i wrote a song about this one. ive seen it around 5 times now and not a day goes by where i don't think of it.)

3. The Poughkeepsie Tapes (50% satirical mockumentary commentating on how america glorifies its serial killers, 50% found-footage horror, you'll need to look up warnings for this one [or just ask me, ive seen it 4 times, i can give you in-depth CW's without spoilers].)

4. Horse Girl (a girl's spiraling descent into conspiracy. trippy, mystery thriller)

other favorites in no specific order

• Antiviral (another Brandon Cronenberg film, sci-fi thriller, taking parasocial relationships to a whole new level)

• The PowerPuff Girls Movie (underrated and one of my favorite PPG-related things ever next to the now-banned rock opera episode, See Me Feel Me Gnomey)

• Longlegs (paranormal mystery horror film, an FBI agent gets more than she bargained for when delving into a new case. ASK ME ABOUT OZ PERKINS AND NICHOLAS CAGE'S PERSONAL CONNECTION TO THIS FILM AND HOW IT SAVED THE FILM ITSELF FOR ME AND MADE IT GO FROM "A WEE BIT DISAPPOINTING BUT STILL GOOD" TO "TOP FAVORITE" BECAUSE OF HOW IT IMPACTED THE WAY I VIEW IT... IF YOU DARE..)

• Catsoup (silent japanese cartoon, short film, you can find it on youtube! two cats go on a magical, somewhat dark, adventure. visually stunning)

• The Brave Little Toaster (the only disney film that will ever grace my favorites list. incredible. the anthropomorphization of objects is stellar, the characters i could go on and on about-- and the songs are fucking great. shoutout to mass car suicide [Worthless]. also this movie inspired one of my OC stories [Curtain Call].)

• I'm Thinking Of Ending Things (adaptation of my favorite book, very different from the book but i think it brings some excellent things to the table and tells it in a very cool way. psychological thriller, mystery. Jesse Plemons is in it, they grabbed him off the set of Breaking Bad and forgot to tell him he wasn't still playing Todd. [< compliment])

• Baby Driver (anyone who hates this movie doesn't know how to have fun. action-comedy, incredible soundtrack that is SYNCED TO THE HAPPENINGS IN THE FILM, main character is an autistic CODA who i love very much, i have a deep personal connection with this movie because of the person i watched it with and the impact it had on us.)

• I Don't Feel At Home In This World Anymore (action-comedy, crime, awkward girl and her awkward neighbor [who just met her but would kill and die for her] get in over their heads trying to retrieve a stolen laptop.)

• Poltergeist (1982, my ma's favorite horror film and one of mine too. paranormal, visually stunning, the practical effects are so fucking cool. also im decently sure it was inspired by Little Girl Lost, an episode of The Twilight Zone, because it's like a more fleshed-out version of that concept.)

• Home Movie (2008, it's on youtube, i can't remember if it's like overall good but it's the only instance thus far in which i think the "evil child" trope is done well so it makes my favorites list)

• Whiplash (ARE YOU RUSHING OR ARE YOU DRAGGING?!)

• Nightcrawler (crime thriller, guy's spiraling descent into abandoning all morals for the sake of his obsessive new project, and the gripping horrific ways that this choice affects those around him)

• Dread (2009, violent horror, guy's spiraling descent into abandoning all morals for the sake of his obsessive new project, and the gripping horrific ways that this choice affects those around him)

• Raggedy Ann And Andy : A Musical Adventure (on youtube, an animated childhood favorite that still holds up. shoutout to the blue camel)

aaaand some others im prooobably forgettinggg..? tried to include a bit of as many genres i could think of, since most of my favorites are horror :)

[autistic-katara]

ok i might get blocked by a couple ppl for saying this but the Jackson’s Diary fandom is seriously making me wanna become a proshipper out of spite (read the post before blocking me or whatever please)

like idk if u guys have checked the fandom tag on ao3 recently but theres been a bit of drama surrounding the fact that someone posted a smut-fic of Exer (an 18yo) and David (an almost 18yo, who was aged up A FEW MONTHS for the fic) and they were harassed into taking it down and making a fucking apology post ON AO3, THE PROBLEMATIC FANWORKS WEBSITE.

and this fic was tagged 100% correctly like it was very explicitly tagged as smut n stuff yet there were still a bunch of comments being like “uhm what did i just read 🤨” and when i made a comment defending the authors right to yk, not be harassed for making not even rlly problematic content someone who clearly would suffer withdrawal symptoms if they turned twitter off for too long started arguing with me abt how ��erm ackhtually we should be allowed to comment harassment under ppls harmless and explicitly tagged fics cause theres no smut in this fandom and it shocked us” and u could just rlly tell they felt they were more righteous than God in their opinions and yeah so cut to tonight when i’m scrolling through the tag and i see a post titled “i’m so sorry” in which the author made a post basically being like “i’m so sorry for posting that ik it was disgusting it has been permanently deleted” which in the comments a few ppl were telling them that what happened sucked n stuff (myself included // judging by their reply they only did this to stop the harassment which yk, completely fair) and i went back to scrolling since i wanted an actual fic not fandom drama but like 2 posts down there was another post titled “please stop” or smthn like that where someone else made a post basically being like “guyssss can we please not write smut of these characters this fandom is so wholesome i dont wanna ruin it 🥺 anyways sorry this isnt a fic this just needed to be said lol” and like dude, my guy, WHAT THE FUCK?!

this is AO3, this is a fanwork archive that as far as i know was created (at least partially) due to the fact that ppl kept getting their “problematic” works taken down from other sites and the creators wanted to yk archive all fanworks. this is NOT a social media site where u can make callout posts abt how what someone else posted disturbed ur pure wholesome chaste scrolling by daring to uploaded something with *gasp* consensual sex between 2 consenting adults?! (or canonically 1 consenting adult and 1 consenting gonna-be-an-adult-in-a-few-months-but-isnt-much-younger-than-the-first-guy but u get the idea)

like guys, ao3 is not twitter. it is not tiktok, it is not tumblr, its not youtube, its not even wattpad. it is not a social media platform, it is a fanwork archive, specifically one that lets u post whatever kinda content u want (yes, even smthn depicting 2 consenting adult/almost adult participates that are in no way related having sex, ik its crazy what they allow online these days).

and look honestly the callout post wouldn’tve annoyed me this much if it was posted on yk an actual social media. like if it was posted on twitter or tiktok or on youtube as a video essay or even on here, like sure if i saw it id be annoyed that this fandom cant handle the tiniest bit of non-puritanicalism and fuck, maybe if it was on here id even drag myself into a pointless days-long argument that causes me suicidal levels of stress but on archive of our fucking own itself?! for the millionth time, IT IS NOT A SOCIAL MEDIA! u dont make posts like that that u want the rest of the fandom to read or whatever on there because its not that kinda website!

anyways yeah i hope i explained the situation ok, u might be able to check it out urself if u feel like it and yeah idk this whole thing just kinda felt like a wake-up call for me like yes i find incest and pedophilia disgusting OBVIOUSLY and i dont like ppl romanticising it in fiction but idk i’ve seen ppl talk abt toxic antis before and show screenshots of conversations where theyve acted super shitty but idk seeing this all unfold in person and having to argue with these hardcore antis just- i dont wanna be associated with these ppl, if these are what alotta antis r like i dont want anyone to assume i agree with them like at all, whether its other antis, proshippers, or ppl like me who have a super complicated opinion on it. like they harassed a person into taking down their smut and made call-out posts on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN abt how they dont want their wholesome pure fandom corrupted by gross dirty irredeemable sex. and just yeah hope no mutuals i seriously care abt unmoot or even block me over this since ik a few of u r antis but yeah srry for this i just kinda seriously hate this fandom right now :)

also incase anyone is typing out a “kill yourself pedo” reply/rb rn; i turn 15 on Friday, i am 2+ years younger than ur innocent bb minor boy David and his definitely not already a legal adult boyfriend Exer so yk

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

any sanrin hcs :? if u do.... share :? prettty please?

This isn't a ship I've thought too much about before but here's what I came up with!

Bonded with each other over their annoyance at their siblings. It started with just one throwaway comment but soon turned into them venting with each other when they need to about their siblings.

They hang out a lot together, in bonten they'll take on a lot of the same assignments.

Sanzu doesn't really understand all of Rindou's talk about music but he likes listening to Rindou DJ

They teach each other new skills for fights, Rindou helps Sanzu to get physically stronger and Sanzu teaches Rindou how to use a katana.

They bicker over who's bike to take when they go out together a lot, they both want to drive but want to be on the same bike.

Both Takeomi and Ran have their doubts about this relationship (in the good timeline, Senju openly threatens Rindou to not hurt her brother)

Rindou gets jealous of Mikey sometimes

In the good timeline, Rindou will sometimes guest star on the Akashi siblings YouTube channel.

Rindou also watches all their videos

Sanzu kisses Rindou first but Rindou is the first one to ask him out on a date and plan it

Ran thought Rindou was joking when he first told him

Sanzu likes the quiet type of dates best, the ones where it's just him and Rindou

Rindou always buys cheesecake for Sanzu

Sometimes Sanzu will go with Rindou to the gym but instead of working out, he just glares at anyone who dares to look at Rindou.

And finally, Sanzu once offered to cut off Ran's braids for Rindou after Rindou complained to him about something his brother did (ok but imagine this is how Ran got his short hair)

[thissortofsorcery]

Hiii, Gabii 💕

For the soft fic prompt meme:

14. Phone calls

and/or

17. fixing the other persons clothes absentmindedly or like tucking their hair behind their ear U KNOW WHAT I MEAN THAT SOFT STUFF

Thank you 🫶

YAM I FINISHED IT

I'm sorry it took me so damn long to fill this prompt for you. I know you like it when they're soft! I hope you like this one.

--

Steve never feels more grown-up than when he and Billy cook together.

It started during senior year — as a dare, of all things. They weren’t even together then, Billy hiding behind a wall of toxic masculinity to protect himself from Neil. He still tracked Steve’s every movement with his eyes. Steve was completely oblivious to his feelings and why his gut twisted every time Billy gave girls that look of his.

“I doubt you can cook anything with the shit you got in your house, pretty boy,” Billy had said, lip curling derisively at the content of Steve’s fridge. “When’s the last time you bought groceries?” 

Steve proceeded to cook the best improvised scramble he’d ever done out of sheer determination to make Billy eat his words. He’d had no idea it would turn out good when he started. Usually, his cooking attempts had a 50/50 chance of turning out wonderful or having to be tossed based on the smell alone.

Two years later, and Steve’s a lot better at cooking. He can make all the basics and some fancy stuff, too, with Billy or on his own — but the favorite meals are the ones he and Billy cook together, arms brushing, hips bumping each other out of the way, spoons being offered to taste. 

Cooking together is mostly a weekend thing since their shifts end hours apart. Steve’s used to fixing something up quick when he gets home from work so it’s ready by the time Billy is done at the garage. Saturday and Sunday are the days they go all out.

So Steve is caught off guard when his phone rings fifteen minutes before his shift ends on a Wednesday, and it’s Billy calling.

“I wanna try making Ceviche,” is what Billy says, skipping the ‘hello’ and going straight to the point. “So, do you want fish or shrimp?” 

“You want to make what?” Steve frowns, barely recognizing the name. He flails toward his work computer to open Google, but he doesn’t know how to spell it out. “Wait, where are you?” 

“At the grocery store, Harrington. Keep up,” Billy snarks affectionately. “It’s, like, cooking fish with lemon juice. It’s great.” 

“What are you doing at the grocery store?” 

“I got off work early. Fish or shrimp, Steve, come on.” 

“You know how to make this thing?” Steve says. He’s known Billy long enough that he doesn’t doubt Billy’s cooking skills, but he’s never heard of this dish before or that Billy had and liked it. 

“Yeah, pretty boy, it’s called YouTube. It has cherry tomatoes in it; you like those.” 

Steve grins. “I do,” he says. “Go with fish, I guess.” 

“Great,” Billy says and hangs up immediately. Steve smiles at his phone for no reason.

He’s home half an hour later, and he finds Billy at the kitchen counter already, dicing up the fish fillets into little cubes. Billy’s freshly showered, his work clothes traded for soft sweatpants and a tank top. Steve stops to admire the curve of his strong shoulders and the swell of his biceps, his eyes following the familiar expanse of golden skin that still makes his heart flutter years later.

“Hey,” Steve says, announcing himself as he enters the kitchen, so Billy has time to put the knife down before Steve hugs him from behind. Steve buries his nose in Billy’s shoulder, breathing deeply. Billy leans back against him, humming contentedly as Steve strokes Billy’s sides. 

“Hi,” Billy says. “I’d hug you back, but my hands are gross.” 

Steve kisses Billy’s shoulder and snorts. “It’s fine. How can I help?” 

“Can you get started on the garlic?” Billy directs. Steve follows, and they fall into a familiar dance in their tiny kitchen, sharing counter space and anecdotes about their days.

Cooking together is peaceful, the way few things in their lives have been, and Steve lets the feeling of home and family wash over him. His shoulders relax, and the headache that’s been threatening to bloom in his right temple fades away, insignificant in the face of Billy’s laughter at Steve’s impressions of his coworkers. 

A light touch to Steve’s forehead makes him blink. He looks away from the lemons he’s squeezing to find Billy brushing away a lock of hair that had started poking Steve in the eye the second he got lemon juice all over his hands. Billy’s hand is light, his fingertips soft as he tucks Steve’s hair behind his ear, and a pleasant shiver goes down Steve’s spine. 

“Thanks,” Steve says, a dumb smile on his face. Billy’s eyes are soft, watching Steve with familiar warmth. 

“Anytime, pretty boy.” 

The quiet, gentle gesture spreads warmth in Steve’s chest, down his spine, down his arms, all the way to his sticky fingertips. There have been thousands of them over the years they’ve been together, but they never fail to make Steve blush and duck his head like a preteen. They’re affectionate with each other really often, but there’s something about finding the space to have these little moments in the middle of doing mundane, everyday things that strikes a deep chord in Steve. 

“I love you.” The words escape Steve’s lips, the reflection of a feeling so natural to him that they’re behind every other sentence he says. 

The corner of Billy’s mouth ticks up, expression morphing into what used to be a smug smirk when he was younger, and now is a soft, fond expression that’s only ever aimed at a very select group of people.

“Sap,” is what Billy says, but the warmth in his tone is clear. 

“I know you like it,” Steve teases, smiling.

“What I’d like is for you to be done with those lemons,” Billy snarks, his elbow brushing Steve’s.

“Alright, alright,” Steve laughs. “I’m done.” 

When they’re finished, and the glass tray is in the fridge, Billy pulls Steve to the couch so they can make out for the hour it takes for the lemon juice to cook the fish. And it comes out pretty damn good — though Steve’s pretty sure he’s biased, only because he and Billy made it together.

[n3tworksucks]

Getting drunk with Quackity hcs?

YEA SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE(I HAD TO MAKE A SCENARIO)

warnings; swear words, alcohol, and use if ma'am one time

word count; 911

-this could go a few ways

-but for different situations yk?

-like if u both were to get drunk on stream or at a party, it could get pretty wild

-but if its a special occasion or just the both of you, you know, calm environment it could be the opposite of before

-I think it depends on whats going on around you

-like with friends and stuff, being with friends can already make you more energetic so when alcohols involved.. yea

-anyways. starting off with friends like I said it could be wild(most likely will be)

-so it'll probably be for a stream like if you laugh you take a shot or something

-with the alcohol in your system it won't make the challenge any easier lol

-so you're all laughing so much you can't really pay attention to the video you're trying not to laugh at

-its one of those situations where you can't look at each others eyes or you'll burst out laughing 

-but chat being little shits keep telling yall you laughed at the video just so you can drink more lol

-but you just go for it giving the Habibs what they want

here you were, not knowing what to do today for stream. you didn't tell your fans what you were doing when you tweeted that you were gonna start streaming soon, because you didn't know either to be honest, but you were pretty sure it would be fine and they were expecting probably anything but alcohol because you didn't drink much on stream, and if you did, it was for a special occasion like when you first turned 21 or celebrating 1 million subscribers on YouTube. but that was it. but you were just bored and didn't like the way that full bottle tequila was looking at you(you weirdo🤨). so you grabbed it and made your way to find your boyfriend to ask if he wanted to come. finding him in your shared room watching braking bad for the hundredth time wasn't unusua,l thats why you checked the room first. when he hears the door open he turns to look at you then look at your hand with the tequila in it. "ma'am." he says sorta like a question towards the bottle. "I'm gonna use it for the stream. you wanna come?" you didn't have to tell him you were gonna stream since he has all your notifications on everything."mmmmmmmmmaybe" he said like he had somewhere to be." ok then" you say " ok wait im coming" he said as he got up and walked to the bathroom to make himself look more presentable for a stream. you make your way to your office and sit down preparing for stream. alex then comes in and looks it you and your chair with a slight look of disgust and a small pout knowing he has to use the broken one in the corner. could he go and grab his chair from his office? yes. but will he? no. so you ask if he wants your chair, he nods his head with a smile. so you get up and grab the broken chair, not thinking about how non sober you would act with it.

first ever time skip lol.

both a laughing mess and faces are red, and cheeks hurt form smiling too much. now, you did doubt your chat, not thinking that they would send funny videos because you keep telling them they have the humor of 7th grade boys. but the actually did pretty good this time witch surprised you to be honest.

but here you were with your drunk self and drunk boyfriend, both not even laughing at the video anymore because you both will just laugh at anything at the moment. as you calm down and wait for the next video to play, one finally starts and its a video of a little kid falling off his scooter, aka your weakness. you didn't want to take another shot even though the taste wasn't as bad anymore, you just wanted to be a little easier on yourself tomorrow afternoon when you wake up. you lean back in your chair, gripping the arm rests for dear life, not daring to look at Alex in the eyes knowing you'll laugh, but you can feel him staring at you. you accidentally make some strangely funny little noise almost like a squeak because you're trying so hard not to laugh. sending you both into loud fits if laughter, without remembering the chair was broken, you lean back in the chair still laughing, but I guess you went too far back because then. THUMP. you and your chair were on the ground. but you didn't care, you just rolled over on your side holding your stomach. you couldn't even laugh anymore, you couldn't breathe you just laid there wheezing and so was Alex. the chat was filled with "LMAOO" and "OMG". " are you ok?" Alex says whilst he laughs, all you can do is nod and cough because you were sure if you talked you'd laugh more, if that was even possible. you laid there even though you calmed down and could breathe, but you were just tired. so Alex decides to end stream and get you both ready to knock the fuck out for 15 hours. tons of clips were all over twitter the next day and you both couldn't even remember any of them lol.

[blairelythere]

Never seen ultraman

What should I watch first to see if I like it or not?

Ultraman is a tokusatsu series with a very large variety of tones and styles. Each season is distinctly different from the last, especially in the New Generation era. Some seasons are very serious and gritty, some are slice-of-life, and some are light plot/heavy action. It's up to you on what you'd prefer!

I want to preface with the three eras (and sub eras) of Ultraman, just so you're aware of these terms when they come up:

Showa (1966 - 1987)

Heisei (1996 - 2012)

-> Heisei Trilogy/Part 1 (1996-1999)

-> Heisei Part 2/Phase 2 (2000 - 2012)

New Generation (2013 - Present)

-> Reiwa (2019 - Present)

That being said, I give you 5 equally valid options to begin:

Option 1:

Ultraman (1966)

Start with where it all began!*

Ultraman (1966) is Japan's take on the Twilight Zone but with a superhero-esqe twist. If you enjoy older sci-fi like the early seasons of Doctor Who or the first Star Trek, you'll greatly appreciate the practical effects, deep but episodic plots, and the unique kaiju/seijin.

From there, watch in order of release and enjoy just how much the show evolves. All the highs and lows.

*(Side note - technically Ultra Q (1966) is the first show but does not feature Ultraman whatsoever. This show serves as a prequel to the idea of kaiju and seijin in the modern world. If you're a completionist, you can start here and be amazed at how there are *still* monsters and plots making reappearances from this show)

Option 2:

Ultraman Tiga (1996)

Ultraman Tiga is the beginning of the Heisei Era and is widely regarded as one of the best series in the entire franchise.

I have lots of love to give to Tiga specifically, and this post of mine explains why that is:

Option 3:

Ultraman Mebius (2006)

Ultraman Mebius is the 40th anniversary of the Ultra series and is a beautiful continuation and love-letter of the Showa Era timeline. It features returning cast members, monsters, and plotlines from Ultraman, Ultraseven, Jack, Ace, Taro, Leo, and 80 (which all take place on the same Earth).

This show is a perfect introductory piece to the series because it exposes you to such a large amount of lore from the past while recontextualizing it with modern effects, richer storytelling, and a more serious tone. Mebius has so much heart, happiness, and hopefulness. It's a very positive and "heroic" type show.

Option 4:

Ultraman Orb (2016)

Ultraman Orb is, even while nestled in the near-middle of the New Gen Era, a fantastic starting piece and my typical recommendation for starters. It's quite fun and light-hearted but has an intense emotional core surrounding lost love and a broken friendship. The action and special effects are top-notch, and the main villain is an ICONIC character who pops up many times in later shows.

This show introduces fusions, which become a frequent New Gen trend (Orb does it the best of all). Great choice if you're looking to get dropped somewhere not too confusing or plot-intensive yet still action-y and engaging.

Option 5:

Ultraman Blazar (2023)

Ultraman Blazar is the newest season of Ultraman and started airing back in July. As of writing this, we are currently at Episode 8.

Blazar is unique and inventive so far in both its plot and aesthetic. It has a semi-serious sci-fi/military feel mixed with amazing new kaiju and.... a really strange Ultra lol. Blazar is unlike most thus far. He's primitive and beastly, kinda like a caveman.

It may not be the most completely accurate representation of the series as a whole, but nothing beats the excitement of watching the newest season as it airs!! The Tsuburaya official YouTube channel simulcasts each new episode as it airs in Japan (with japanese or english audio and subs).

~

I wish you luck on your multiverse-spanning Ultraman adventures!

Feel free to ask more questions if you have any 💛💛💛

[cocogum]

Tot had a QnA today (Youtube). Idk if you understand/speak French, but if you do, did you get anything from it?

Hey Anon!!

Yeah I do speak and write French (given how it’s my first language)

But about the interview, yes I know about it but I haven’t watched it nor am I willing to see it.

The reason why I wouldn’t dare click on that video is because Tot is just…well he just can’t stop yapping and revealing too much. That’s always been an issue with him. When it came to doing interviews with people, Tot won’t stop spoiling and he WILL ruin the remaining episodes for you. That’s just how he has always been so I usually tend to avoid his interviews until I finish a season to see what he’s gotta say about it.

With the Ankama and Waven accounts, he obviously spoils because he’s talking about the game and the game is usually much more caught up than the show. But for the accounts it’s always easier to dodge them cuz all u gotta do is mute them or block them for a while.

When it comes to the interviews though, DO NOT WATCH THEM IF YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED THE SEASON (if you don’t like spoilers that is). Tot even said he’ll spoil a lot on that video (he said this in the description of the video but it was written in French). And even if you don’t understand French and you’re willing to watch the video, Tot WILL use scenes from the remaining episodes so you’re definitely not safe from visual spoilers.

But don’t worry once the season is finished, I’ll go take a look at it. Tot also usually talks about a lot of things that happen after a season in interviews so it would be really interesting to see what he’s gotta say for this one. I’ll talk about it if the video doesn’t have English subtitles 💖💖

[milyas-girlblogging-era]

(cw lobotomies, hysteria, tadpole extraction, bg3, slightly graphic? but v vague)

was tidying up my profile and saw one of my reblogs about lobotomies and baldur’s gate. ANYWAYS in short, it reminded me (possible spoilers under cut)

VOLO WAS LITERALLY LOBOTOMISING TAV. like if u chose to let him try and remove the tadpole, it’s pretty much JUST like a lobotomy.

we were looking at the history of it in class because i’m an extension english student i fuck with literature and we read this piece written about lobotomies and it explained THE ICE PICK METHOD AND EVERYTHING.

up until that point, i always imagined they cut ur head open and cut up ur brain but NO they poke the little ice pick in the corner of ur eye.

and in bg3, guess what tool volo whips out to extract our tadpole

THATS RIGHT

U GUESSED IT

an ice pick.

i thought ppl were just throwing around the term “lobotomy” without knowing what it actually really is, but no he most certainly is lobotomising us, he even uses an ice pick, the most famous technique popularised by some dickhead i forgot the name of but it was what made them much more efficient and popular among husbands whose wives dared to have an opinion or anyone who happened to feel a bit “hysterical”.

(ss from “Gamerpillar” on YouTube)

so yeah! thanks Larian for the lobotomy reference by having him use an ice pick specifically!

[anorc-writing]

Deconstructing Daphne Greengrass

Ice Queen. Borderline sociopath.

Rich girl with a a heart of gold.

Well, in the last 20 years or so there have been many, many Daphne Greengrasses in fanfic.

And I'd just like to say, my name is An Orc, and I'm here to burn it all down. And yes, I'm aware that I've written tropey Daphne Greengrass fics.

But also, I've written, and continue to write fics where Daphne isn't quite as much of a paint-by-numbers love interest.

Though I've got a fic that deconstructs that too in the works, because of course I do. (Healer Harry and the annoying impatient. Maybe coming late 2025)

Before I dive into the details, I'll lay out some basic ground rules. Don't worry, I'll explain where this goeth eventually. Oh, and we're going to use snippets from Cursed Child, because nothing in life is totally worthless. Not even bad fanfic. (Dr Hadley on Youtube has a great vlog about Daphne, and has written Daphne into fanfic, so if you wanted background, go watch that. He's also quite funny.)

Daphne's Blonde.

Daphne's got blue eyes.

Daphne's a girl.

Daphne isn't a genderbent Draco Malfoy. There's no point in doing that.

Has a little sister called Astoria.

There's a blood malediction that's going to kill Astoria.

Daphne has at least a passing resemblance to 'Anonymous Slytherin girl extra' in the film "Order of the Phoenix"' (Who isn't that anonymous, and apparently at least at some point found the whole Daphne Greengrass phenomenon all rather funny.)

The ship is called Haphne, and it's Harry Potter and Daphne Greengrass.

Daphne Greengrass canonically has an OWL Practical just before Hermione Granger in Order of the Phoenix, the book. She never appears before or after in canon.

Daphne was in Slytherin house and is a pureblood. (That's in the Hogwarts 40, ephemera from JKR that she used in planning. Shame she didn't do some remedial maths beforehand too.)

Epilogue? What Epilogue. EWE is the fan movement that simply rejects JKR's epilogue as well, trash. I'm signed up unless I'm not.

Now, those are the things I regard as 'immutable' parts of a given OC called Daphne Greengrass. And I'm a book reader, who happened to see the films first, so I don't much care what mess various directors made of the setting.

So, first off, I'll lampshade #1 by saying that Daphne is blonde, for some value of bleach. (I have an old female friend who there's only one person alive that remembers her actual natural hair colour, and well, the extra wasn't a natural blonde either, so there you go.) And while that sounds silly, it gives Daphne some... dare we say, character. Why does Daphne change her hair colour? (It's mousy brown, honestly, she just wanted not to look less plain.)

Blue eyes at #2, because she has to have eyes, and they need a colour. Blue is, if you missed it, a colour. (And there's a sodding U in it. Get over it, Americans.) And the "Book of Names" that researched all the names in the Hogwarts original 40 list from JKR, put the Greengrass surname in Norfolk, and they're probably Saxons. So Daphne has blue eyes. And may be from Norfolk.

It would be weird for a boy to be called Daphne, so that explains #3.

Number four, well, the point of a female OC is to ship Harry with her. Seriously. JKR can't write romantic relationships at all convincingly, so Harry ended up with a lump of wood in a red wig. (And that's not picking on Bonnie Wright -- she can act, and has done so since quite well. Cloves et al are hacks, which doesn't help.) Having a Slytherin, and a Pureblood girl means she's literally from the other side of the tracks. (In keeping with the tiny tatters of CC we can regard as 'not shit', Greengrasses are fare more politically moderate than Malfoys.) We never really got to see how the SP lived, and this lets us go wild.

Badly written Regency romances are a fandom trope. I'm no less guilty, but that's jsut, like, an opinion.

There's a legend that JKR intended the Non Nazi Slytherin Students to come back from Hogsmeade with Horace Slughorn, when he leads the people of Hogsmdade as reinforcements in the battle of Hogwarts. As a writer, the setup is all there in the text, but, alas, the last three books (at least) have shoddy editing due to the massive amounts of gold they were making. So she left it out, and that leaves the implication that they're all Nazis. Literally 'Evil House.' Which is far too simplistic a view, and my god you did a personality test on eleven year olds, and now a quarter are Death Eaters. To coin a phrase, Bad Rowling, No. Being ambitious isn't evil. (And having met, over the course of many years, some quite evil people who were not ambitious, there's Death Eaters in Hufflepuff.) So Rowling left that out. I'm actually okay with the idea that the Slytherins that weren't evil hid in their dorms and common room during the Battle of Hogwarts. They'd had rubbish Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers for at least five years out of the last seven, so most of even the Seventh years were sitting ducks; just like Voldemort intended. That DADA curse is 'preparation of the battle-space,' as was making sure Snape was a bastard to Potions students. Less Aurors, less Healers. A nation weak, ready to be taken over.

Number five, having Daphne have a sister, family etc, well, there are great 'Daphne Greengrass is a penniless orphan' fics, but I'm trying to parody what's there, so she'd better have a family. And that lets Harry meet a magical family that aren't the Weasleys. That would make two families he's met. In total. (And I can lampshade the ever-loving putty out of Harry having a tiny circle of friends.)

Number six, the blood malediction, possibly a Greengrass family curse, is free conflict, so what's not to love. Also, it means there's a real risk Daphne herself may be at risk of snuffing it. And a mystery for Harry to solve. If only to discover why that Greengrass girl's trying to break into the restricted section.

(Oh, and I just had a sodding plot bunny.)

Number seven, there's a running theme in fan wish-fulfillment that Daphne Greengrass must be gorgeous. The only thing is, that surely, we'd see that mentioned in the books. Ginny Weasley is gorgeous, Cho Chang is gorgeous. And Harry's possibly a tiny bit superficial. I generally regard this is just cringeful, and I love trying to squeeze sense from the world-building. If a girl was really pretty, she'd be mentioned in the book, right? (Ignoring that JKR didn't make enough characters for the roll size she wanted for Hogwarts etc etc.) In a way, (it's called parodic deconstruction, I think?) so Daphne must either be... good looking but not stand out, or she had a glow-up after school. She's also not atrociously ugly -- she's unremarkable. I parody this in one of my worse stories with Daphne literally having a magical glow-up, courtesy of her mum. A middle ground is that like the reference face from the films, she's pretty, but horsey from some angles. Fans who've met said person in ... person say actually she is gorgeous, so there's that. That further lends weight to the 'otherwise unremarkable girl' angle, where she might age into her looks, but at Hogwarts, is... shy. (Oh god, terrible Hughes films flashbacks.)

Number eight, shipping. I ship so hard I have my own harbor. In real life, actually yes. So I'm quite prepared to have fics where Daphne shock, Horror, isn't with Harry. (I've got one (not quite released yet) where he... brace yourselves... becomes friends with her post-war. And that's all. A friend. (I'll do the screwing it up in a sequel, because I am an orc. Torturing people is our thing.)

Or... is gay. Because that's a thing, folks. Some people are. It just happens. Not going to try and take on all that crap, but hey, have a gay Daphne story. She stays gay, because that's how people tend to work.

Number nine: There's a fixed point in time in canon where Daphne Greengrass exists, and did her OWL Charms Practical at the same time as Hermione. That leaves the question open if she was even at Hogwarts in Harry's sixth year. Given the reappearance of a dark lord, maybe they fled. Lots of possibilities. Also, on the flip side, sixth year is the one year Harry could really meet Daphne at Hogwarts and change canon a little but not a lot. (Or maybe with an alternative point of view in a planning session, things could go very differently indeed.) People have done 'She's actually working for Voldemort, willingly or otherwise' to death, so I've left it alone. Harry might not be a genius at telling if someones' trustworthy, but Crookshanks, Hermione's cat, is half-Kneazle and magically gifted in this regard. (See Prisoner of Azkaban.)

There's no point arguing a single point in time, unless someone wanted her to be imaginary, and that's pretty limited as a basis for a story.

Number ten: If you make her not a Pureblood in Slytherin, make her someone else. She's an OC with a name, respect the three things we already know about her. (And I'm quite prepared to skewer any Siberian Pricness, Ice Princess etc tropes at this point.)

Number Eleven: No epilogue.

Well, unless she was over and done with Harry before he married Ginny and had 2.4 children. I've played around in this non-plot non point a bit, including skewering Cursed Child repeatedly. It's quite hard to have Harry, who only wanted a family, be an absent father and still be in character. Cursed child never managed it, but I've had a couple of goes so far.

Or maybe AFTER cursed child starts. And suddenly I'm writing 40-year old Harry Potter getting divorced, meeting someone from school... there's a rich vein to mine here. And yes, I've got a satire of a Hallmark Christmas romance with Harry and Daphne post-Harry's divorce, of course I do. Maybe released late 2025 at this rate.

Now for some freeform ranting.

One of the valuable things, as a writer about Daphne is that she can be unfamiliar with muggle Britain, and Harry's a native. So you can do the wonders of... Tesco. Basically, Harry's discovery of the magical world, upside down, and backwards. Or to be posh, holding a mirror up to contemporary Britain. See that sounds all literary, and this is just fanfic.

But like any idea, I can look at the back side, and Harry could, alternatively make a complete berk of himself, trying to show someone that already kind-of-knows muggle culture and technology things, and instead of childlike wonder she can say "I had one when I was eight, Potter. I wasn't born yesterday."

And there's even room to explore the idea that maybe she doesn't have a heart of gold.

There are some fantastic fics where she's the bad guy.I haven't written any of them. Personally, I'd rather not glorify bad people. But she can easily be the 'Slytherins will take any means to achieve their ends' character. And while I can't see the attraction about writing about psychopaths, just having someone prepared to bend the rules in the service of her own life is a nice contrast to the background characters 'who do nothing'. She could even, shock, horror, be a criminal, inasmuch as she did whatever to get through the war. (And I've got a neat fic stuck in plot development hell where she's a fraudster... but not a death eater. And Harry is a post-war Auror, so he gets to play detective and play the hypocrisy card. It may be a noir detective novel in wizards robes.)

Because so many writers have tried to make Daphne very special and extra, I've gone and written 'A very ordinary girl' where Harry slowly falls in love with someone who's... an ordinary witch at Hogwarts. While that's a short story, I feel disinclined to write more in that setting, because by the end, all Daphne and Harry want in some privacy, post-war. So they get to have it, in a way, as long as I don't write another chapter of it.

And one of the interesting things is that the very idea of 'A very ordinary witch' from an ordinary magical family isn't something that appears in the books. So ah, that's really interesting, even if it requires tricky niche world-building to fit inside Rowlings quick and dirty worldbuilding.

But, given all that, could Daphne have... interests?

She could be a music dork. They don't mix with non music dorks at school much, and they can be quite unusual sorts ... once you get to know them, though they might be quite as mice outside of doing music. And we know there's a choir. Kinda.

Gobstones is a thing, but Harry doesn't play, nor do any of his friends. Therefore, book canon Daphne Greengrass might be eighth seed in the gobstones club, and Harry would never know.

People then jump onto 'she's a genius, she's Hermione's academic rival!' But that's kinda silly. And would have had Hermione grizzling about her at some point, surely?

Hogwarts doesn't have printed class rankings on the walls at any point, so Hermione, for all we know, may not actually be ... shock horror, the brightest witch at school. She studies hard, but in seven years, hadn't invented a single spell. Snape invented several by the time he was in sixth year. (Halfblood prince, his potions journal has his own spells in it.) I'm not saying Daphne is either. But she doesn't answer questions in class like Hermione, though Hermione is suspiciously quiet about all those electives she takes and the boys don't. (Maybe Daphne's an arithmancy nerd? Could be. And what would that actually mean, in practical terms?)

It's possible, nay likely that students with special interests might do better in the classes they are interested in, but they may not necessarily be the best in the school... if they are interested in something related to the class, but not in studying hard to get good exam marks. That's just how learning works.

On the other hand, Hermione Granger doesn't attend Hogwarts for the 97-98 academic year. (maybe she goes back later.) It's possible that every other student, apart from being bullied and possibly tortured by the Carrows, also had a chance to get some house points for a change without Granger hogging all the questions in class. If Daphne attended Hogwarts after 1996, she might have actually got to NEWT level in her classes. So it's possible a post-war Daphne is better at magic than say, Hermione, at least excluding Hermione's specific skills, like Polyjuice making.

Weird worldbuilding fact. In sixth year, in 'Halfblood Prince' there are 'two other Slytherins' in Potions with Harry that aren't Malfoy or Nott. And they are never named, nor are they mentioned again. One of the ''one simple trick's" of writing is to provide the bare minimum and have the readers fill in the rest. It's... possible one is Daphne.

The curly haired elephant in the room.

Tracey Davis is possibly Daphne's best friend. She certainly is in many fics. She is... definitely in the same dorm in Slytherin with Daphne. I've settled on the idea they're neighbors out of school. It's the simplest possible solution of Daphne needing a bestie.

Which can't be Pansy, or we'd notice Daphne more.

And cant' be Millicent, because Daphne is at best a hanger-on in Pansy's gang. And... we'd notice Daphne more.

What's Tracey like? Who can say. She's a halfblood in Slytherin (according to the list.) Poached this pic from Living Dangerously, and why not have Tracy wear a brown hat?

[joyful-downer]

Just me nearly crying on the train while listening to this song, imagining Jack singing this to Margaret and holding her tight while everything around their little house is blowing up. 😭

(There are too many good versions of this song on YouTube)

(Lyrics:)

I remember tears streaming down your face

When I said I'll never let you go

When all those shadows almost killed your light

I remember you said don't leave me here alone

But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down

You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now

Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound

Don't you dare look out your window, darling, everything's on fire

The war outside our door keeps raging on

Hold onto this lullaby even when the music's gone, gone

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down

You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now

Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound

[pondslime]

I was watching this youtube reaction to House of Wax and one of the guys pointed out that Bo had a whoopi cushion on his trucks dashboard and I havent stopped thinking of it since

RJFSDKJSDFKJKFSDJKFDSJ

are we talkin about this thing jfdhhfdjfhdjfds

SCREAMING!!!! I always figured it was a balled-up t-shirt or a rag or a cap but the idea of it bein a whoopie cushion is SO fckin funny hfsjdhfsdjhfsdjhjfsd 💀

also look @ that up-to-date registration sticker. boy rocked out to the baton rouge dmv to get his shit all legal. law-abiding citizen. maybe he really WILL be cawlin the cawps!!!!!

he is SO cartoon character-coded 😔

u could overlay this over EVERY single one of his scenes and nothing abt the movie nor his character would change:

this is what his brain sounds like @ all moments of every goddamn day

imagine him heehawing alone in his truck to the mere THOUGHT of leavin a whoopie cushion on the seat for some unsuspecting bitch to sit on. tryin to work a whoopie cushion into his sad weird backstory that he's gonna dump on the next batch of hapless ambrose victims. how trudy n vincent were traveling circus performers and a whoopie cushion was their downfall.........how the whole town could hear the whoopie cushion wheezin' all the way up @ the house.........

just laughin 2 himself. thinkin this is TRULY the mastermind comedic snl roast comedy central looney tunes bingo bongo joke of all time.

getting OUTRAGEOUSLY mad when he gets into his truck later and someone has placed it on his seat, tossin the joke in his face. he accuses lester and holds a grudge abt it for years. bc this was his goofy ahhh sillyboy moment!!!! how dare u clown on him when he's the court jester king supreme!!!

vincent was the one who did it. he will never find that out.

[justicerikai]

Charisma House - Superhuman Sharehouse Story “Charisma” - #61 Birthday Present

Please read alongside listening to the drama track on Youtube.

TL note:

About teru teru bouzu from Wikipedia: “A teru teru bōzu (Japanese: てるてる坊主 or 照る照る坊主, literally "shine shine monk”) is a small traditional handmade doll made of white paper or cloth that Japanese farmers began hanging outside of their window by a string. In shape and construction they are essentially identical to ghost dolls, such as those made at Halloween.“

Terra:

There he is

Terra: Ghost-kun,

Ohse: !

Terra: Do you have a moment to spare?

Ohse: Sorry, I had plans to die before the day ends.

Terra: Actually spare your life instead

Amahiko: Ohse-san, tomorrow is your birthday, right

Ohse: Eh..?

Ohse: …Ah

Amahiko: The 14th of June, that’s what you told us if I’m not mistaken

Terra: And since we want to give you a present, we’d wanna know what you’d like

Ohse: HUUH!?

Ohse: Buh… birth… birthday pres…

Ohse: EEEH!!? NO WAY!?

(Ohse panicking)

Terra: What’s wrong- just what is he doing-

(Terra and Amahiko trying to calm him down)

Ohse: F-f-f-f-for this shitty sore loser.. a b-b-b-birthday present…

Ohse: Not in a million years!

Ohse: It’d also be better for you to quit before it’s too late!

Terra & Amahiko: Huh?

Ohse: Tomorrow is a day of mourning.

Terra & Amahiko: Mourning?

Ohse: This piece of shit’s birthday shall be grieved.

Terra: What are you going on about

Amahiko: Please let us celebrate the occasion.

Amahiko: What would you like as a present?

Ohse: Eh… uuuuh…

Terra: Can’t you stop looking like a teru teru bozu on a rainy day?

Terra: What’s up with you? Are you not happy about getting a present from us?

Ohse: That’s not it! I couldn’t be happier!

Ohse: It’s more like, rather than not wanting anything… um… It’s that I’d be happy with anything instead, something along these lines, um…

Terra: Geez, that was the reason

Amahiko: You’d enjoy anything as long as we’re the ones who chose it, is what you were trying to say, no

Ohse: Yes…

Terra: That’s great then

Terra: Then we’ll go ahead and give him something we personally chose, Amahiko

Amahiko: Indeed

Amahiko: Do look forward to it, Ohse-san.

Ohse: T-thank you very much…

(Terra and Amahiko laugh, leaving Ohse be)

Amahiko: Ah, what kind of present are you going for, Terra-san?

Terra: I’m maybe thinking of cheerful clothes that Ohse-kun doesn’t usually wear

Ohse: Eh?

Terra: Gonna pick out the flashiest ones, it’ll brighten him right up

Ohse: U-um…

Terra: And you, Amahiko?

Amahiko: Perhaps I’ll give him some clothes too.

Terra: What kind?

Amahiko: Sexy ones.

Ohse: EEEH!?

Amahiko: Revealing as they can get. To make him bold and daring.

Ohse: E-excuse me…

Terra: Let’s go shopping at once, Sexy!

Amahiko: Roger, Beauty!

Terra & Amahiko: Lala lala lala lalalaaa~♪

Ohse: Please wait!

Terra & Amahiko: Hm?

Terra: What’s wrong? You’re suddenly being loud

Ohse: U-um… about the present…

Ohse: Ccccheerful clothes?

Terra: Mhm

Ohse: And, sexy clothes..?

Amahiko: Oh YES.

Ohse: …..!

Terra: What? Got any issues with it?

Ohse: No, no! Not at all!

Amahiko: Ohse-san…

Amahiko: Could it be that you aren’t glad about receiving these as a present?

Ohse: It’s not that I won’t be happy with it!

Ohse: You know you’re going out of your way to prepare a present for such a piece of trash of a human being!? It’s unbelievable! It makes me extremely happy!

Terra: You’d like whatever we choose, yeah?

Ohse: Yes!

Amahiko: We’ll be off shopping then

Terra & Amahiko: Lala lala lala lalalaaa~♪

Ohse: UWAAAAAAAAAAH——-!

Terra: Just what’s the matter with you

Ohse: U-um…

Ohse: …!

Ohse: You cannot buy clothes.

Terra & Amahiko: Huh?

Terra: We can’t?

Amahiko: What’s the meaning of this?

Ohse: Both of you, this is something for just between everyone present here.

Terra: What

Amahiko: Hmm?

Ohse: Truth to be told, this shitty sore loser, is considering leaving this lifestyle of wearing clothes behind.

Terra: Excuse me?

Amahiko: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

Amahiko: In other words, Ohse-san, you are going to be nude the whole year round!?

Ohse: Yes!

Terra: Why be that unconventional?

Ohse: I’ve realized that luxury items such as clothes are wasted on someone as shitty as me, and I rarely leave my room to begin with and neither do I see other people.

Amahiko: I understand! It’s killing two birds with one stone!

Terra: Are you sure of… that?

Ohse: How commendable, Ohse-san.

Amahiko: Terra-san, we cannot dare to hinder such a revolutionary commitment. We better give up on the idea of giving him clothes.

Terra: Eeeh~?

Amahiko: Let us look at other things instead, Beauty.

Terra: What, like, seriously? Hey, hold on, like…

Amahiko: Gosh~ this calls for a celebration. Double meaning intended.

Terra: In what way?

(Amahiko drags Terra away)

Ohse: W-what a relief~

-

Iori: WAAAAAAAH! OHSE-SAN!? WHY!?

Fumiya: Woah. That spooked me.

Sarukawa: HAAAH!? What the hell are you doin’

Iori: W-w-w-w-what is this

Sarukawa: The fuck happened, oi, explain yerself-

(PPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII)

-

Rikai: It’s a shame, Ohse-kun.

Rikai: I believed you had the potential, however- to think that you were a vulgar dunce who would stoop so low to such stupidity instead

Rikai: Live as you like. It has nothing to do with me anymore.

Ohse: Ah….

Ohse: Aaah…

Ohse: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-

[panopticon-entertainment]

The End of the World is a Freeway Exit

Mile ∞ tells the story of an old woman, Eve, who cares for the freeway exit/entrance at the end of the world. From her daily routine to a gift from a god, Eve tells of the pieces of ∞ that led her to greatest accomplishment. The story is told in four parts: “The End of the World is a Freeway Exit.”, “The Last Rest Stop on Earth.”, “The Mile Man.”, and “I Am.”

Listen on Youtube & Spotify - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEMF40m4J4A

___________

"The end of the world is a freeway exit. The end is beautiful. The end is infinite and ever sprawling. A perfect blue sky always runs above the final interstate. 

I-∞. 

Somewhere in the distance the road drops off; the normal eye cannot perceive it, but any normal brain understands what is out there.

“Wrong Way”

“No Return”

“Exit 0”

“Mile ∞”

These are some of the unique signs I daily work around. I mow the lawn at the end of the world. I am aged in years and have resided at the end of the world for a long time. I only see people at the end, and one day I, too, will board the Caravan. I want to tell whoever it may concern what life was like for me at the end of the world.

The end is beautiful; I do not know why people fear it so. Nary a storm passes over this land. No storms equal no fear, correct? Is that not what humans desire? Clear skies? Sunshine and flowers; critters and rolling fields? That is truly what the end of the word boasts.

Five patches of grass I have to mow. On my monstrous mower, it takes two hours per section–except for the narrow little one which hugs the U-Turn. Each—besides little 2.5—slopes up to hug the roaded bridge that runs perpendicular over I-∞. Steep hills are fun to mow. Vertically is the recommended way, but somedays I dare traverse the hills at such an angle anyone else would fear rolling to early demise. It is exhilarating! And that action helps checker these oversized lawns in such an appealing way. I do not always dare it.

The grass here is green. Not yellow green, nor blue green, nor light green, nor crayon green. No. Only a pure, true grass green with very few highlights makes up these lawns. Almost solid, almost perfect. The few highlights come mostly in patches of weeds. I know I ought to demolish them, but they yield the cutest, sweetest, little pansy flowers when the grass is at its wild apex. They are so lovely and so comforting, I durst not to delete them. Oh, and when I say the grass here grows, it grows! On a poor week it grows still a foot. In a week, I have seen it reach my waist. I am not large in stature, but I still find it novel. The edge of the world is so fertile. I suppose it must be due to the fertilizer the Matter Mobile brings to the world.

The Matter Mobile returns from the Beyond on Wednesday. It exits again on Thursday, or Friday. I suppose that depends on its load. Matter cannot be created nor destroyed, but what form it takes or to where it goes, I know not. Is it just carbon? Does it contain things like chalk, cut grass, and ashes: things that blow away unrecognizable in the wind? I do not know. I have never seen the form of that who drives the Matter Mobile.

That is every Wednesday. Wednesday, I walk the perimeter and area of my grassy fields picking up trash; the culmination of which I leave in bags for the Mile Man to take to the beyond. I already know what trash has befallen my lovely lawns for Monday is the day I mow. I do not mow over the trash for it leaves such nasty scatters on my perfect pastures. So, as I plug away on my mower I step off and set aside the trash on what I have already mowed for later.

Tuesday, I weed eat everything my lawnmower cannot reach. As time goes on, I wax slower and slower, but that is all right for Tuesday is the day the Mile Man crosses the bridge. Driving his mighty caravan, the Mile Man shuttles those who Time has chosen to let go. On Tuesdays, I look eagerly upon whatever horizon—the return or the exit—for the distant sight of the Mile Man so that I may do the other facet of my job.

There is no road in this whole world that truly connects the World to the Beyond. I-∞ runs solitary only transversed by the three vehicles that come from the Beyond. So, when one of these sacred vehicles must take Exit Zero, I unfurl a road—piece together a road. The road looks like a large puzzle of foam and is as brightly colored as the flower garden. I build it across my grass to the U-Turn so each vehicle may float above the grass and the laws of nature. For the Matter Mobile, it is twice a week—one return and one exit. For the Chariot, it is whatever odd time it comes. For the Mile Man, it is always once a week on Tuesday. Every other week he returns from the beyond to collect bodies with tickets for I-∞. These days always interest me for the Mile Man is a fine creature. A sweet creature who smiles and conversates when possible.

For all intents and purposes, I am the only being who traverses this land on foot, but sometimes on Tuesday, or even Mondays, I find a Traveler who dares to flee from their ride on the Mile Man’s Caravan; those unwilling to go. The homeless, debtless, lifeless bodies that try to flee from I-∞. When I find those on my land, I take them to my garden (which I tend on Fridays) and proffer them the fruit they like most in the world. I will comfort them, and I will intake the travelers’ stories until the Mile Man comes, exits the Caravan, and walks them from Mile ∞ to the Miles Beyond.

It was to the Mile Man I made the request to grow a garden on the Fishbowl (section two). It is truly the final oasis: the final beauty. The final meal at the end of the world. I grow every type of fruit and berry, and even a few vegetables. At heart, I am a simple gardener.

I love the end of the week not for it being the end, but because I do my favorite jobs. Thursday, I tend to the plants. All the trees and the flowers that hide the ugly supports of the bridge, and the little pond cultivated in that Annex. It is tender work. Of course, Friday, I tend my garden.

Saturday and Sunday, I am not on my perfect little land. Saturday, I must take care of myself. Cleaning my RV and venturing into the dusty city for sustenance and sometimes entertainment. Sunday, I rest and stay awake all night to watch the specters that haunt the last Rest Stop on Earth.

Sometimes, on these days, I am called to the freeway to build the bridge for what or whom I call Heavenly Father’s Chariot. It is a blue model-T car which comes to and from the world inconsistently and sporadically. I do not know who Heavenly Father’s Chariot brings to and from this world. I know not what lies beyond I-∞. A benevolent watchmaker? A god? Not a thing at all? A second level? Another time or another place? I know not, and I care not. All I know is that car is sacred.

I do so love my job. I love the freeway. Somedays, I work with only the silence of the edge of the world, and the powerful noise of my destructive machinery. Somedays, I do not acknowledge I am staring down all our final journey. I listen to music and human stories of love and comedy. Somedays, I cry; somedays, I do not remember. Somedays, I wonder when my weathered bones will be swept off my aching feet by the Mile Man and gently belted into the front seat of the Caravan. I wonder when will my calloused hands travel past Mile ∞ to the Beyond where the road and the sky meet.

The edge of the World is a Freeway exit, and I am the eternal grounds keeper.” - ↻