#i swear that man has an obsession with yapping

[cocogum]

Tot had a QnA today (Youtube). Idk if you understand/speak French, but if you do, did you get anything from it?

Hey Anon!!

Yeah I do speak and write French (given how it’s my first language)

But about the interview, yes I know about it but I haven’t watched it nor am I willing to see it.

The reason why I wouldn’t dare click on that video is because Tot is just…well he just can’t stop yapping and revealing too much. That’s always been an issue with him. When it came to doing interviews with people, Tot won’t stop spoiling and he WILL ruin the remaining episodes for you. That’s just how he has always been so I usually tend to avoid his interviews until I finish a season to see what he’s gotta say about it.

With the Ankama and Waven accounts, he obviously spoils because he’s talking about the game and the game is usually much more caught up than the show. But for the accounts it’s always easier to dodge them cuz all u gotta do is mute them or block them for a while.

When it comes to the interviews though, DO NOT WATCH THEM IF YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED THE SEASON (if you don’t like spoilers that is). Tot even said he’ll spoil a lot on that video (he said this in the description of the video but it was written in French). And even if you don’t understand French and you’re willing to watch the video, Tot WILL use scenes from the remaining episodes so you’re definitely not safe from visual spoilers.

But don’t worry once the season is finished, I’ll go take a look at it. Tot also usually talks about a lot of things that happen after a season in interviews so it would be really interesting to see what he’s gotta say for this one. I’ll talk about it if the video doesn’t have English subtitles 💖💖

[midnight-fables]

Entry 17: A Man Possessed

GIF credit: @maikswen

Bearblr Promptober Day 17: Dumbification (Sub: Clueless)

Summary: Carmy has girlfriend (who he calls Darling) brainworms again, and he's even more of a disaster this time. (Or: the time Carmy had to leave work to go rail his girl)

Warnings: Smut, swearing, p in v sex, unprotected sex (she has an IUD but Carmy's not writing that in his journal), Dom/Sub dynamic, calling Carmy "sir", hair pulling, obsessed thoughts, mild spiraling, fem reader/rando lass who is a trauma surgeon, she/her pronouns.

Notes: All journal entries will be titled as such and tagged with #cb journal.

Thank you for reading. Thank you to @carmenberzattosgf for putting together this prompt list.

If you want to keep following this set of works, you can follow the #cb journal tag.

Sideblog for commentary and yapping: @m-z-shoroi

This is is a two-parter. The first part is here.

Also, if random letters or words are black/white instead of the colors they should be, that's Tumblr being dumb, I've been fighting it for days.

17 Oct 2024

I handled the second incident of Darling invading my brain much worse than the first.

I couldn’t fucking focus for five fucking minutes on anything. I was pissed off at life two minutes after opening, worse so when the place looked a fucking mess from the night before. Assholes couldn’t even clean up after themselves. I don’t even know how many times I lost track of what I was doing or why because my mind went to Darling instead of staying at The Bear. Here she was, burying her face in my t-shirt again, letting out that delicious sigh, the curve of her hip still visible under the blankets, and I wanted so badly to just grab her. To squeeze her flesh in my hands, dig my fingers into the round of her ass, to drown in her soft skin and her wet kisses to my throat. I wanted to bite her. I didn’t even know what to do with that—I just wanted to sink my teeth into the inside of her thigh before soothing her by putting my mouth to use elsewhere. Why? For what purpose? How does that make sense?

Syd must’ve noticed that I was off because she started helping with cleaning—didn’t even try to talk to me. I hate that, by the way; hate when I’m so far away that people don’t even find words worth giving me. I might not talk much, but if people don’t talk to me, I start feeling like a bug on the window; tiny, inconvenient, gross, unwanted, easily forgotten until I make an irritating sound.

I had to step out in the middle of cleaning—I hadn’t even gotten to prep yet, that’s how bad it was—and I found myself dragging my hand over the side of my neck and my throat. My heart throbbed with such violence that I wanted it to escape so I’d stop being harassed by it. My hands trembled, breaths got erratic. I heard her voice again, telling me to breathe, to find sounds around me, but it came through as static. The apple leaf adagio, the skittering of dried maple leaves, her body fits so perfectly in my hands, strawberry lip balm, what’s not to love? Fuck, that feels good, Carmy. More of that, pretty boy.

Pretty boy.

Please call me pretty boy again, I’m begging you.

I struggled to make it through the rest of prep. I’m fairly sure Sydney figured out I was that same sort of fucked up again because she didn’t wait for me to fuck up a count or fail to give directions before taking over the reigns of the kitchen. I turned into a line cook, just mindlessly doing what was asked of me because it’s what I knew I could do without making a worse mess, and she had the rest under control.

Syd always had it under control; I was the one out of control.

Once again, near dinner service, just when I thought I’d be fine, I cracked under the pressure. I had stepped out to get a break from the relentless heat of the kitchen, try to get some air that wasn’t saturated with the aromas of food (it sounds nice, but trust me, when you’re hour 10 into inhaling sautéed onions, confit garlic, vinegar, cumin, black pepper, olive oil, it gets so deep into your lungs that you feel like you might cough up a prime rib steak). The snap of cold air on my face shattered the dam keeping any assertion of reality in check, and I was inundated with this… how do I even describe it? It wasn’t quite rage, but it wasn’t far from it. Like I needed Darling. I needed her so badly that if I didn’t have her, I was going to break something.

Possessed? Was I a man possessed?

I had this crawling sensation, yeah? Not quite like ants on my skin; the feeling was bigger, coarser. It started in my back, spread to my shoulders, blazed down my arms, into my hands. I clenched and relaxed my fists, trying to ward it off, but when that did nothing—and it did precisely nothing—I rubbed hard over my arms, dug my short fingernails into my skin in some faint approximation of what Darling’s nails felt like. When I thought about doing it again, even harder, hard enough to draw blood if I had to, I knew I was fucked.

I bailed on the kitchen staff again, but something tells me they would’ve hated me being there anyway.

“Sweetheart? You’re home early, what’s going on?”

She’s on the couch fiddling with yarn—I think it’s crochet? Or is it knitting? I don’t know the difference—and has the 2005 Pride and Prejudice on in the background at a low volume. I don’t even know if she can hear it with how quiet it is. I throw off my jacket, and that’s enough for her to figure out something is wrong. She puts the yarn thing on the arm of the couch and unfolds her legs to get up, but I can’t, okay, I cannot.

“No, you stay there.” I’m sorry, did I just tell her what to do? Who the fuck am I?

She froze and leveled a look at me that I can only describe as a deer in headlights. Entirely confused. Clueless. Maybe even scared.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” It’s tiny. High in her throat.

She follows my face with those big eyes as I approach. It’s weird that it didn’t bother me then. It bothers me now, thinking about it, that she was probably confused as all hell and I should’ve stopped to talk to her, but clearly, I was on one. Or something. That crawling sensation was worse, and overwhelmed by the need, the sheer fucking need to taste her. Taste that strawberry lip balm, lap at her tongue, to occupy my mouth with soft, warm wetness. Fuck me, she was wearing my t-shirt, too.

She squeaked in surprise when I crashed our lips together. Immediately shot her hand to my forearm when one of mine blanketed over her throat. The other seized a fistful of her hair, and she grabbed at my wrist. Probably startled. It bothers me that I didn’t care at the time.

“Open,” I growled.

She obeyed immediately, relented control to let me explore her mouth, and wove her hands into my hair. Fucking hell, I needed that. I was starved of her, plagued with memories of her taste for 10 entire fucking hours—fuck I needed her, all of her, I needed her hands under my skin, goddammit. I pushed her down onto the couch, wrenched her knees apart, and settled between them. She tugged my hair in surprise and then coiled her legs around me.

“Pull harder.”

“Harder? Carmy—”

I used my grip on her hair to tip her head back and aim a glare at her. “I said pull. Fucking. Harder.”

She whimpered and did what I asked. My eyes drifted shut against my will at the tension on my hair—not painful, a sort of raw pleasurable that only pain could seem to bring in that moment. It was too fucking warm. It was boiling again. Why is it always so fucking warm? It was almost as if she could hear my thoughts because she yanked my shirt up and off. I went right back to attacking her with kisses. She hooked a leg high up on my waist and tightened it—have I mentioned how fucking strong she is? College soccer player. She’s really fucking strong.—and it was enough to trigger the ache in my back and force me to pause for a moment with my lips at her neck.

“Carmy,” she gasped, “tell me where your head is, sweetheart.”

Her sounding breathless shouldn’t’ve made me feel powerful.

I yanked off her shirt. May have torn a hook off her bra when I wrested it off her. Whatever, I’d buy her a new one.

“Carmy, I need you to talk—” I cut her off with more fervent kisses. She patted my chest, squeezed her legs again. “Hey, pretty boy.”

That got me to freeze and meet her gaze. She rubbed small circles over my chest.

“Hi… hi, sweetheart.”

“Couldn’t—” Fuck me, I could barely think. “Couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Her confusion was replaced with a wide-eyed expression.

I ducked down to continue that hickey on her neck. I needed to leave some kind of mark on her. What the hell was going on with me? She trailed a hand down my abdomen and rested it on the bulge in my pants. Took her about two heartbeats to start fumbling with my fly. This wave of cool relief washed over me—don’t know what or why it was about—but it was brief, just a momentary breather in the flames of arousal consuming me. She got me free of my pants and underwear, kissed my temple.

“That better, hm?” Was she really trying to soothe me right now?

Did she not see the animal trying not to devour her?

It occurs to me now that I might’ve genuinely scarred her when I stared her down in response. She froze, searched my face, darted her gaze between my mouth and my eyes repeatedly. Had shaky, jerky movements when trying to shove off her sweatpants. It was odd that she wasn’t speaking. She tends to talk. Her voice is pretty soothing, honestly. At first, something of a regular check in and reassurance for me to know that I wasn’t fucking up, but now a familiar, comfortable, soothing riff in the soundtrack of our lives together. Of course, at the time, I didn’t register any of this because I just needed to be inside her already.

She tensed up when I hiked her leg up my side. Babbled frantically into my mouth, “C-Carmy? Carmy, be gentle. Please be gentle—oh fuck!”

How gentle do you think a wild animal can be, baby girl?

She was unimaginably tight but also impossibly wet. My head spun and it took every last frayed fiber of wherewithal to not immediately sink into her cunt as deep as I could. Forget thinking straight, forget thinking about anything other than the tight, wet heat enveloping my dick. I was pussy drunk already, and I just barely got started.

She dug her nails into my back, had one hand on my abdomen digging into my muscle. “Baby! Baby, please, slow down… fuck, that’s so good, but please—”

“You can take it,” I snarled into her ear.

She took a second, but then withdrew the hand pushing on me and busied it with my hair instead. Mumbled a small, “Y-yes, sir.”

Sir?

She moaned something of a pitiful sound when I got to work. Whatever that version of me was, it wasn’t gentle, but she didn’t seem to care. She hiked her leg up higher when I hit her deep, begged for more, clung to me tighter when I sunk my teeth into her shoulder and did just that, mumbled praises in my ear as I relentlessly fucked her through her orgasm. Good boy; that’s it, you’re making me feel so good; fuck, baby, I’m so full; I can take more, keep going. It crossed the rat’s nest of busted wires in my brain further. All I can remember is this raw, unfiltered, white-hot pleasure burning a chasm into my core, this tension winding so tight I couldn’t get enough air in. Braided steel cable creaking under a construction load? How do I describe this? Tightening rubber band? No.

Sinew tensioning as a dull knife dug into it. That’s an apt descriptor. Like with the ice cubes in the kitchen that first time. Only all-consuming, raw, visceral, centered on her—her scent, her heat, her strained breaths, her wetness, her taste. 

I hid my face in the crook of her neck when I was right on the edge.

Her lips brushed my ear. Her voice was strained but still the same kind of soothing to my soul. “Come on, sweetheart. Let go… Cum, pretty boy…”

I clutched her like a drowning man when my orgasm finally hit me. It knocked the air out of my lungs, killed a scream in my throat, set off a thrumming sound in my ears, first bathed me in flames and then abruptly flooded ice water through my veins. My abdomen screamed from how violently it spasmed, the muscles in my back seized up. Everything stopped. Everything—never in my life had my entire existence been so blank, so empty, so quiet, so at peace. I might even have blacked out for a bit (or my memory is just as shit as it’s always been) because the next thing I remember is slow, gentle caresses over my face, neck, chest, shoulder, then back up to my face to repeat the circuit. Her lips pressed to my hairline at intervals. My eyelashes brushed her neck while I tried to blink the cobwebs away.

“You with me, sweetheart?”

Nope. Not even close. I don’t even know what planet I’m on right now.

She smoothed my sweaty hair back off my face. Planted another kiss to my temple. “That’s okay. You’re safe. Take your time.”

This is going too well, right? She’s too perfect. God’s a sadist; that other shoe is going to return from orbit, and because I am willing to give my whole being to this woman, it will kill me. This love will kill me.

[theoceansluvr]

Percy Jackson x Surfer! Reader

warnings; none ! author's note; starting to notice how useful my obsession with the beach really is for writing.. thank you Amphitrite for this blessing !! my favorite sport and my favorite boy, literally perfect !

like my marnie biologist reader one, match destined by the Fates !

you probably met on the beach when percy was out at the cabin with his mom and he instantly knew he needed you in is life.

sally was honestly here for it because well, that's how she met Poseidon !

consider it a family meet cute that passes down from generation to generation

you guys collect seashells together ?

personally i'd say for jewelry making but that's up to y'all <9

you teaching percy how to surf and he's automatically good at it !!!

you think he's already done it before be he swears he's never even touched a surfboard before you met

just one of his lovely sea child traits i suppose

MATCHING BOARDS

percy def rides longboard but definitely tried shortboard once and fell into the water

def learned how to wax surfboards just for you !

goes to all your competitions if you compete

he only doesn't show up if it interferes with his swim meets

WHICH LEADS ME TO MY NEXT POINT !

he yaps about you to his team all time

like "Oh you're a good swimmer ? Well my partner is even better AND they surf !"

he's hopeless really

has grown so used to the smell of sunscreen at this point he could probably get the exact brand you use based on the scent alone

doesn't want to be in your way while you surf so he just sits in the sand and draws little hearts with your initials

you guys did that one trend where people find rocks on the beach that match their partners eye colors

you know the one

he learned how to wrap stones just so you guys could wear them as necklaces

(need someone like him so bad)

cruel summer coded relationship may i say ?

when you're just chillin' on the beach he always talks about how you could totally make it to the Olympics

you take his remarks at face value but it definitely helps with your confidence !

unironically says cowabunga now ??

you don't even use it, probably

he just thinks he's a comedic genius

freaked out a little when you turtle rolled in front of him

(i choked on water the first time so can't even blame the man)

thought you were going to drown then you popped back up and smiled at him like nothing happened

needless to say, that's how he learned that term

your first kiss was probably during sunset or something cheesy like that, sitting on your boards and he just

leans over and kisses you, ignoring the fact you tasted like saltwater because it was you

it's now a little tradition that you kiss before going out <9

ending it here because i can and will ramble about this man and surfing forever and ever😞

[38livesalone-has3cats]

could you write for the impractical jokers with an s/o that has anorexia ? if that would be too triggering for you, i completely understand!!

hihi ! thank u for the ask :) i did my best with this and i didn't mention purging or binging because that's a lil triggering so i hope this is what you were wanting !!

The Impractical Jokers with a s/o with anorexia

-- tw; eating disorders(obv), unhealthy eating habits --

Sal

-he definitely monitors your eating as much as he can(in a loving way i swear, not trying to be creepy)

-texts you casual reminders to eat throughout the day, even if he know you won't

-he has your safe meals/meals he knows your comfortable with memorized

-y'all don't go out to eat often(he def has hellofresh or smth), but when you do, he makes sure to look up the menu with you beforehand and you guys plan what you'll get together

-he's very particular about what he eats so he has absolutely no shame while the two of you are out and will send back any food you mention isn't made the way you like

-honestly you could just give the plate a weird look and he's already calling the waiter back

-makes sure you take at least a few bites, but he won't force you into anything

-anywaysss

-sitting and eating with you is his love language atp

-he's always so proud of you, no matter what !! and he won't hesitate to tell you that

Joe

-we all know this man loves to eat

-he won't hesitate to finish your plate for you(after you take a few bites of course !)

-absolutely LOVES talking about sweet treats with you and honestly that's how he get's you to try new treats most times

-he will def get you to take silly pics with him with food connecting y'alls mouths or making silly faces with the food to "trick" you into eating

-his favorite dates with you are dinner dates, because he loves to chow down and he loves to watch his partner eat

-all in all he doesn't 100 percent understand ! but he supports you, loves you, and keeps you well-fed !

Murr

-he's genuinely so caring with you

-he makes sure you ALWAYS know how much he loves and cares about you

-he loves to pack lunches for the both of you, and he always leaves you cutesy little notes !!

-he insists that you two eat dinner together every night, he loves sitting down to unwind, chitchat, and share a meal with you(no matter how much you eat !)

-he can(and will) just go on and on about how beautiful he thinks you are

-he tells the guys that he doesn't understand how he got such a gorgeous person on his arm

-He will read books and watch yt videos to learn more about anorexia and how he can help

-will always keep it real with you when you start getting bad again, not in a mean way ! he just loves you and hates to see you that way

-loves to remind you of how far you've come in your relationships with food and your body

Q

-he's had his own struggles with depression, so although he may not completely understand, he gets it

-loves to curl up on the couch with you and watch movies; he'll hand-feed you a few bites of whatever snack he's got

-he's completely obsessed with you tbh

-he often brings home your favorite takeout for dinner because it's easy and he knows he can get you to take a few bites

-always wants to remind you how beautiful you are, rarely calls you by your name; it's always "gorgeous" or "beautiful" from him

-he will also text you throughout the day; he loves to yap about how his day is going, he'll also sneak in little reminders to eat a snack of some sort

-he will celebrate every little milestone with you, no matter how small or insignificant you tell him it is(he's buying you flowers, jewelry, the whole works)

-he's just so loving with you ugh

-on days where you're feeling extra weak or tired he's so gentle with you, he spends all day coddling you and making you stay in bed while he takes care of you

[warpedpuppeteer]

Short silly Buddie mpreg drabble because I could not get the thought of Buck being obsessed with Eddie's little baby bump out of my head. And I know Buck will yap non stop at the baby bump and Eddie will simply indulge him, the love struck fool 🥹

The scratch of Buck's stubble against him is slightly ticklish but he's so used to it by now that he doesn't even move. He however does muster enough energy to pull at his boyfriend's curls. "Buck that's enough, c'mon". Buck finally stops and looks at him forlornly.

"Absolutely not", Eddie tells him sternly. Buck, the man-child that he cannot believe he's in love with, sighs sadly, places one last kiss onto his stomach and finally moves up to lie next to him, placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth, "can't help myself Eddie, it's so cute".

A smile tugs at his own lips,equal parts exasperated and fond. Buck's hand migrates down to his stomach, under the soft shirt he's wearing that might be Buck's actually, and cradles the little baby bump that has started to show. His hand is big and gentle, slightly possessive. Warmth curls down Eddie's spine.

"It hasn't changed in the span of five days Buck. Still the same size. You've literally done nothing but spend time obsessing over it", he reprimands him but the effect is ruined by him nuzzling into Buck's neck. He reaches down, placing his own hand over Buck's on the bump.

He had noticed it while he was alone at home, after a nice warm shower. He'd passed the mirror and had done a double-take when he realized that from the side, he can visibly see the bump. He had stood there curling his hands around it for almost an hour before he had called Buck.

Ever since, his boyfriend has been obsessed with his baby belly. Talking to it constantly and singing lullabies and placing a thousand kisses on it and even falling asleep on it, ears pressed close as if he could hear the lump of cells.

Eddie is absolutely positive their child is going to come out being a yapper just like one of her fathers.

"She's growing so fast", Buck says softly. Eddie hums in agreement. They hadn't really had much hope; tests after tests coming back saying their chances were slim to none but Buck is, if anything, determined, his freaky super swimmers defying science to knock him up soon after the multiple disappointing medical appointments.

They don't really know the gender of the baby yet, and Eddie is comfortable in not knowing but Buck swears up and down that it's going to be a girl. Eddie would love any baby equally but he can admit there's something sweet in the excitement of having a baby girl; about Buck being a dad to a baby girl.

He knows Buck would be an amazing dad already. Christopher is the living proof; Buck is always doting on him despite his teenage grumblings and Chris loves him to the moon and back.

He could't wait to see Buck cradling a baby in his big arms; one that he doesn't have to give away.

Buck has already baby proofed their home and Eddie has stumbled upon his online shopping cart filled with baby furniture, toys and cute onesies. Their baby is about to be so spoiled. It's going to be fantastic, Eddie couldn't wait.

He turns to his side and pulls Buck down for a thorough kiss. Buck grins at him. "What's that for?". Eddie shrugs. "Just because. Now shut up and stop bothering my baby bump, I want to sleep". Buck laughs and puts his arm around Eddie, pulls him even closer.

"I'd say the hormones are making you grumpy but I know that's not the case, it's just your natural state", Buck ribs him. Eddie kicks him on the shin. Buck doesn't even flinch, laughs louder, tucks Eddie into his chest and kisses his forehead.

There's a flutter in Eddie's belly, maybe the baby, maybe indigestion or maybe it's the love radiating from Buck, either way Eddie let's it wash over him in waves. Buck is here. And Chris is in his room. And their baby is growing everyday. Eddie is finally home, sweet home.

ib me going feral over his flat tummy:

[welovetesvkaidan]

OPINIONS ON KAIDAN EE/IF???

My honest reaction:

in all seriousness, if you wanna hear me yap about it, more under the cut

warning like, genuinely a ginormous yap, like a HUMUNGOUS, sleep-deprived yap,,, im cursed to be obsessed with skyrim + modded followers instead of touching grass

I think a lot of this is probably gonna be the same thing other people have said, so im sorry

if you feel i'm gonna be bringing up redundant points and get mad at me😓dont read

I haven't experienced and thus won't talk about the versions of EE and IF that are now separate mods from each other. I don't know anything about that.

if they're better now yayyy but this is about pre-separation

I should preface this with the fact that I've played through Skyrim 3 times with different stages of Kaidan EE/IF:

The initial Dawnguard + fixes/miscs mod

Kaidan EE/IF versions before extensive faction/NPC dialogue for Kaidan

EE/IF w/ NPC Dialogue (AKA Fratpack)

I was also part of the two different discords that were purged and created during these intervals. i don't even know if there is a discord currently?

anyway, that is to say that I have experienced the mod and it's behind-the-scenes progress, extensively so I have a pretty good idea of what I liked and didn't like

That being said, I will introduce probably my biggest problems with it: Tonal whiplash

Okay, well the most common complaint is ofc that a lot of the writing is out of character - and I agree. But it's not just ooc on paper, it's his voice too. I swear, it is very jarring hearing hushed, mild og Kaidan 2 voicelines, and then being deafened by EE Kaidan SCREAMING in my ear ALL.THE.TIME. (like... why are you yelling at me rn jeez)

Seriously. I'm not sure why they didn't just re-record everything from the original mod instead of adding more and more contradicting lines on top of the originals. It definitely could have been a standalone mod, and sometimes it almost feels like it is - because he is just so different.

My most infamous moment in my last playthrough with him happened after we defeated the dragon at Kynesgrove. His og Kaidan 2 dialogue played first, in it he shows interest and is cordial about Delphine ("I wouldn't mind prodding her mind" or whatver dialogue), THEN immediately after his Kaidan EE/IF dialogue will play, in which he walks up to Delphine and STARTS YELLING AT HER AND INSULTING HER - like they argue for quite a bit wtf. And it's like, listen, I have my thoughts about Delphine, but whether or not it was okay to yell at her isn't the problem. It would be fine - IF he hadn't just calmly told me he thought she was okay.

It is sooo confusing how he contradicts himself :(

I mean, yeah, fragments of who he is are still there, I can tell it's Kaidan, but he's warped to fit a different character. Like a con-artist Kaidan.

Anyway, besides the contradictions, it also feels out of character because of his established backstory.

Let's go over it: He's an orphan, lost his only connection to his family(his guardian) to drugs, fell into substances himself, joined a violent cult, had to escape said cult, came clean from his addictions, has been traveling Tamriel bounty-hunting, got brutally attacked by the Thalmor, rescued by mere chance. Do you honestly mean to tell me this man would be yelling, pissing, drinking, lewding, and joking his ass off?? After all that???? NO - or maybe not these levels of extreme. (maybe some other dude might, but Kaidan's characterization insists he is a brooding, keeps-to-himself man, even though he never acts like it anymore)

That man should be tired, and he did feel like he was tired in the original. He was more brooding then than he is now, usually silent, but could still have an edge of comedy/wittiness, he was smart, he had been through a lot!

In that regard, EE/IF Kaidan felt like... we are experiencing Kaidan 10 years in the past - like a Kaidan in his early 20s when he was still a drunkard low-key terrible person. He is just so energetic, always yapping - GOD he talks a lot now. ugh but most of the time it wasn't about anything, it was either inside-jokes, meta jokes, and only occasionally did we get things that added to the experience.

For example, I think most of us who have played Kaidan 2 remember at least one specific line he has said while exploring. What comes to mind for me is either "Can you smell the magicka in the air too? Smells like a rainless thunderstorm." or "Watch for the mammoth with the carvings on their tusks, that's how the giants mark their herd." Alright, both pretty nice small talk for characterization (he IS smart) and worldbuilding.

Tbh i can't really remember any iconic lines from the additions of EE/IF Kaidan... the only two lines that stood out for me were: the "elevenses" line from the clip above (started bumping into him every time he was about to say this so he would stfu... total tonal dissonance), and one he said while I looted Lucky Lorenz ("poor sod wasn't as lucky as his namesake would have you believe!") kai HOW do you know this man, and his nickname, who told you that??? (idc about it that much but its like the only other added line i remember)

I thought that maybe his ooc-iness might have been caused due to the collaborative approach of the mod, I think the mod authors created their own perfect Kaidan - and that's good for them! It takes a shit ton of work (Ik cuz i was there!!) But I think the original essence was lost with each addition. It might have been lack of direction for the voice acting too, a lot of the lines might have hit better if they weren't borderline screamed.

Okay, at some point while playing I got so tired of his constant himbo chit-chatter that I tried tuning him out and bringing other npcs from vanilla skyrim as followers. Problem: even without kaidan on your party, everything starts being about kaidan. Because the extension made it so that Kaidan either has history with/character interactions and development with different NPCs from the base game.

The main poor sods that traveled with me:

Erik the Slayer: Apparently was Kaidan's childhood friend, got inspired by Kaidan to become an adventurer. Least egregious in my opinion, they say sweet things to each other. I swear, Kaidan yells more at me than he ever did at Erik.

The Companions: dumb, dumber, and dumbest basically.. This part of EE/IF was also known as "The Fratpack" and y e a h they pretty much had Vilkas, Kaidan, and Farkas acting like immature frat boys all the time. Just,, absulutely taking away all the maturity out of these GROWN ASS MEN. im sorry, i guess i dont get the appeal. I liked it when they didn't behave like teens (Aela im so sorry, you deserved better than being part of this)

Lydia: All she does is simp for him, ALL.THE.TIME. You think she's about to have a meaningful thing to say? nope, she's checking out Kaidan's ass. Think she'll have a deep convo with another npc about one another? nope! she wants them to tell her all about Kaidan. Both the Companions and Erik will either talk down to her or have to deal with her thirst for Kaidan. i had to start leaving her home.

They also suffered from the same tonal whiplash as Kaidan, unfortunately

additionally, the mod added an "early flirt switch" - you could basically toggle Kaidan to start showing romantic affection for the Dragonborn before the amulet of mara., the interactions were good on paper, but everytime he stammered and stumbled over his words it was written in such an unnatural way... pls people don't talk like fanfics lol !!!

I did like that he gave me flowers, my inventory got full of them - but then he noticed how many flowers I had in my inventory and judged me for "picking everything i see" ugh dude you gave them to me, but also even if you hadnt... mind your business lol

Another addition was a feature that basically made it so NPCs could potentially throw flirtatious comments at Kaidan and the Dragonborn (Bishop flashbacks😨)

You can't do anything to defend Kaidan from those comments, but he WILL take it upon himself to defend your honor infront of any men, women, jarls, or criminals that even so much as find you attractive (THIS INCLUDES FARKAS AND VILKAS BTW :( ) by being rude, forthcoming, AND violent. so yea, you can guess the target audience

speaking of which, he definitely comes on too strong on you once you start the romance, and it left a bad taste in my mouth. I specifically picked the "go slow" option for the romance, and the next day or two it was him constantly complaining about having to go slow under his breath, how he wanted to do anything but slow rn... and like just, wow. :/ yikeees lmao

Maybe this is the result of "i can fix him" romance ideals? im sorry but I liked him when he was down to earth

Bonus? He comes with a campsite now, which has to be magic because its ginormous and he somehow lugs it around despite it also coming with a whole ass furnace (fine fine i'll hold my disbelief)

anyway I do like it, its basically a player house you can take anywhere (so long as kai is with you ig) also you can have a cat in there

I like that there is an MCM, I like that the MCM lets you get through the quest stages in case you get stuck

I like that he can guide you places, usually he gets stuck in a tree or rock but its the thought that counts

I think if the mod had continued in the vein as its original iteration when it was just audio/bug fixes and included these qol features it would have been better than it is now.

But it seems maybe i'm just not the target audience, and as a young woman I'm really confused as who the target audience is 😓

okay im srry rant over

if anyone else wants me to yap about other kaidan skyrim things also ask or join in cuz i like yapping about skyrim and kaidan to people!!!

[sparklingcid3r]

are you a tim and darry shipper? if so, PLEASE share some hcs of them

YESSIR I AM‼️ oh my days i’ve been dying to yap about them bc i’ve been obsessed 🙏 i won’t go into how i think they actually found out about each other’s man-kissing tendencies bc im thinking of writing a fic abt it (if it doesn’t happen then i’ll write abt it here lol) but here we go‼️ ooc? perchance🤫

- Incredibly private relationship. Neither of them want a single soul to know

- So naturally they get walked in on by Pony

- “You said you locked the door” “It’s not the same kind of lock we got at my place” “It’s a lock” “That you never even use” “Do you know how to lock my door?” “Do you know how to lock your door?”

- (It’s not Tim’s fault tho because not even Pony remembers which way to turn it, he’s just jiggling it until it clicks. Seriously, why would anyone need to know?)

- Darry’s idea of being romanced is coming home from work to see Tim doing the dishes while playing Darry’s favorite Ricky Nelson records in the background.

- Just sweep him off his feet, Tim, why don’t you🙄

- Fr tho acts of service is Darry’s love language, catch him SWOONING when Tim says he’ll pick up Pony from school and then come back to help him dig leaves out of the gutter. Most romantic thing anyone’s ever said to him

- Idk if Tim has a love language, but maybe it’d be quality time. Even if they aren’t saying anything, he just likes hanging out and unwinding with Darry at the end of the day

- If they haven’t been able to see each other for a while because of Darry’s long ass work days, Tim sometimes visits him during his lunch break at work, just to talk and catch up. He brings two bottles of ginger ale because he knows Darry can’t drink on the clock, but could stand to crack open a cold one

- They’ll go and watch the rodeos together when Dally is jockying and Soda’s doing saddle bronc

- One time he came home to find Tim, Pony, and Soda very heatedly yelling at the soap opera playing on the television. They made him swear to secrecy before letting him join in

- Lotsss of stab wounds in the coaster next to the couch. Darry only got it after one too many accidents with Tim not remembering that the Curtis family doesn’t just bury their blades into furniture when they’re particularly emotional

- Darry actually gets along well with Angela, they have pretty similar music taste. He’s also telling her which teachers she wants for which classes, and also the best spot to park to pull out of school quick before traffic builds up

- Darry wants to spend some time at Tim’s place, but Tim refuses nearly every time. His parents are always drunken, high crash outs when they’re home and the place is just a mess. He’s a purebred hood, but he’s also the only one trying to run a tight ship around there for his siblings’ sake

- Tim bounces around from job to job, he never really found a rhythm anywhere. Darry once sat down to help him hunt, but Tim’s better suited for odd jobs anyway, so that’s where his money rolls in from

- Definition of power couple. They’re mean asl in solo fights but put them on the same team and it’s lights out

- There’s an on-going bet on the East side about who would win in a fight between them

- Darry and Tim know about this and also get into arguments about it

- Love the idea of characters who are described as things such as “feline” or “deer-like” or “spider-like” etc etc also act like those animals, so the minute Tim was described as cat-like I knew that in my head he’s taking naps and when he gets up, he does the full body, hands in the air stretch until every bone has popped and he’s got just slightly longer canines than usual, “blink and you’ll miss it” slight. Darry thinks it’s hot

- They’ve mutually agreed to never accept gifts from each other because they’re too proud but also too insecure about money and don’t want to be leeching off the other

- Tim doesn’t sleep on the Curtis’ couch unless he’s in rough shape from a fight the night before or he wants to catch Darry in the morning, but more often than not it’s because of a fight. Pony and Soda only know about a fraction of the times Tim has done this and just think “damn darry ur bf’s gay asl for u”

Gang i love them sm it’s not even funny this is so serious for me😭🙏

[joltai-showa]

fic notes, From Queen to a Pawn, chapter 8 edition!

I dunno where did the entire day go lmao, I swear to god I blinked and it was already middle of the night, but I did went to check out a major research innovation laboratories cluster which was pretty fun, really fascinating what is being developed for prosthetics field. Couldn't join the work dinner with the others cuz I wanted to decorate my flat for New Year + had to cook some stuff before it all went bad, which is where my evening magically vanished lol. The tree did come out pretty cute, so I'm pretty satisfied.

Anyway, yapping about life stuff is over, let's get back to your guys' favorite yapping topic: Obito's suffering😘

(yes that's what he looks like in "Eclipse" ahaha)

- chapter's title: obviously, "Eclipse" refers to a natural phenomena that occurs whenever the moon blocks the sun's light from the Earth's point of view by being directly in the way between the sun and the planet

- and by this point I think it should be pretty obvious that this chapter is explicitly tied to the name of the entire series: "Body and Soul, Sun and Moon"

- I have seen certain interpretations of this title as Deidara being the Sun and Obito being the Moon, however, as you might have guessed, this is incorrect. "Body and Soul" is the part that refers to Obito. Maybe one day I'll write down exactly why is that in greater detail, but for now the only thing that is important is: Obito's trauma regarding losing half of his body, looking like a chewtoy for a bobcat, the reality being hell, him physically being stuck in it, while what he really wants and dreams of is the illusion. I don't think that I currently do a very good job of working the with whole "Soul" thing at this point in the series, mostly because "Mind" is more appropriate rn. Oh well

- but back to "Sun and Moon": yes, Deidara is indeed the Sun in the title, but the Moon refers to none other than Rin. No matter how passionately I hate canonic Obirin, one can not attempt to write Obito inside the canon universe without his love/obsession with Rin

- Kishimoto really managed to outdo himself with these two, because not only is Rin not a character (a cardboard cutout has a more consistent character traits than whatever the fuck she is), but also managed to make Obito both a terrible human being and a character. And these are two different things on Kishimoto's part: obviously, being the leader of Akatsuki and the mastermind behind like 80% of the shit going down in modern Naruto history, adult Obito that we meet in the story is an abhorrent man that is directly and indirectly responsible for countless horrific crimes and no amount of flashbacks to "uwu cutie patootie boi who dreamet of bekoming a hOkAgi❤️❤️❤️❤️" can ever excuse and explain that piece of dogshit that was supposed to be his "redemption arc". Seriously, the only thing that this man makes me feel in canon whenever I see him getting fucked over during the finale of Fourth Shinobi World War is "awww, you're having a bad day?🥺 I hope it gets worse!😊🙏 I hope you'll suffer far more than all of your victims combined🥳🥳"

- but that obviously only touches on Obito as a man, not as a character, and, surprisingly, even after giving him a full-blown flashback stretch of several chapters, him being the main villain for the series for like 250 (?) chapters out of the total 700 and getting "redemption arc"... Kishimoto still did not manage to produce anything coherent or even decent. I still wanna write down an extensive post regarding all of the issues canon Obito has, but for now I'll just say that he as a character is just terrible, mostly because his motivations are so fucking bad. Kishimoto didn't want to bother giving him anything beyond "I feel nothing"/"World is hell" + he literally phisycally couldn't as anything darker than the Rin death scene massacre would raise serious questions from the readers about why THE FUCK is this guy of all assholes is getting such a lazy "redemption arc", so at the end of the day Obito's motivations fall onto 2848927484 phrases on the level of iam14andthisisdeep about the state of the world and his love for a character whose defining feature in the plot is being Obito's love intrest🙂awesome stuff Kishi

- anyway, as I've mentioned here and there, as far as BSSM au is concerned, I will be changing both Obito's and Rin's characters. With Obito it's kinda already there and just me doing what I believe to be realistic about a man as bitter and traumatised as him. Also getting rid of the whole "I feel nothing" thing, because this is just Kishi's lazy writing to not deal with any of the things concerning Obito's relations with other people from that 17 YEARS LONG PERIOD OF HIS LIFE, so he's just gonna be yapping about feeling nothing, which is exactly what he wants to be (of his own volition + what Madara and Zetsus want of him). Rin being dead is a bit harder to show (LMAO), but I have some stuff in mind to give some meat to the skeleton of this character, so to speak.

- Rin and Girldara are two of Obito's crushes and, in a sense, roads with different outcomes. In the beginning (which is where we are now) they are also desires of Obito's soul and Obito's body respectively. I'm planning on having him excuse his attraction to his Akatsuki partner as "it's just physical urges, it doesn't matter, she's just something from this world, all of this belongs to this world, and it'll all be gone when the ideal world comes"

- Rin, in my opinion, has a lot of imagery assosiated with the moon as far as canon concerned. Not only does she die under the full moon, she is also Obito's ultimate goal at the end of this wonderful thing called "Eye of the Moon". I believe that even the 14 opening (Tsuki no Ookisa) of Shippuden directly shows her dead body's connection to the full moon. So, making her the "Moon" in the title was pretty obvious move.

- Deidara, on the other hand, is just a little sun bunny😙that's simply off the way she looks: lively, loud, hair bright as sunlight (regardless of the horrors of her past and current life💀). I wasn't planning on getting rid of the whole Rin thing, so it was pretty natural to kind of put them on the opposite sides as Sun and Moon

- also I find it incredibly funny that the name of the organization that both Deidara and Obito belong to is the... "Dawn" (yes, that's the translation of "Akatsuki" as it is written in the manga. The sounds in the word can be separated into "Aka Tsuki" which means "Red Moon", but this is moreso a coincidence and a pun on Kishimoto's part). Which is. You know. When the time rolls over from the night with the moon and onto the day with the sun😁

- anyway ENOUGH YAPPING ABOUT THE TITLE GODDAMMIT. and yes "Eclipse" refers to that scene when Obito starts seeing Rin as he holds passed out Deidara, as the Moon kind of got in the way of the Sun

- "Gritting his teeth tighter, Obito repeatedly attempts to locate Zetsu, no doubt in his mind regarding the thing's intentions."

The entire first half (?) of the chapter Obito is trying to find Zetsu spying on them... and Zetsu isn't even present😁😁😁😁 Yes, as the omnipotent entity of the writer as I am, I confirm right now that no cacti or weird shadows of a miserable Uchiha man followed our livebirds in this chapter. Obito's paranoia regarding that will be adressed in later chapters, maybe even in the next one, but he is playing a carefully for no one, because Zetsu isn't there and Deidara has bigger issues on her mind

- that doesn't mean that Zetsus didn't have a plan in motion for these events🤭it's just that they didn't need to be present and risk being discovered to get a confirmation of their suspictions😁😁😁😁again, stuff for later chapters

- oh and one last thing about Zetsu before we continue with the chapter: I've already been dropping mentions of Deidara's left arm festering back in chapters 6 and 7

from "Dead or a lie":

from "Unexpected discoveries":

now as for whether Zetsu knew that it wasn't Deidara's severed right arm on the ground that was rotting, but rather her left elbow is an open-ended question😁

- and yeah regarding her wounds: in the manga Deidara kind of immediately loses everything below his upper arm, meaning no hand and elbow

(chapter 249)

I slightly changed her wounds in the fic to accomodate the... necessity for something to get amputated🙂 so in FQTP Deidara loses only her hand, the elbow rots away due to infection, and in the end she ends up with the same scars as her canon counterpart, meaning Kakuzu's threads going midway through her upper arm

- and yeah Kishi you wanna explain why the fuck Deidara just doesn't fucking die in the beginning of Shippuden? jesus fucking christ, got his arm crushed by Gaara's sand (pretty sure not sterile), whatever the fuck remained was hanging there with the remains of the cloak (surely not sterile), then he yoinks Gaara from the village, walks on foot from Suna to the hideout in another fucking country (????WHY WON'T YOU FLY DUMBASS), seals Shukaku for THREE FUCKING DAYS before yoinking Gaara again and fighting Konoha, but now with NO ARMS at all. A ninjutsu specialist and a ranged fighter btw. And then he goes on a stroll around the forest looking for his arm. WHAT IS ACTUALLY WRONG WITH YOU???? CAN YOU CHILL FOR FIVE FUCKING SECONDS???? OMFG DUDE'LL HAVE A NUKE DROPPED ON HIS HEAD AND SURVIVE AT THIS POINT

- ahem. so. yeah. Deidara almost dying from infection? my attempt at trying to tone down that black air force energy that Kishi created for this character in the Kazekage Rescue arc, because some things are simply too absurd

- I posted about this on here about certain research I was conducting for this chapter and yeah that was about Deidara's condition. What has happened to her left arm is commonly known as wet gangrene and myiasis (that's the scientific name for getting maggots😘😘😘😘😘). Surprisingly there's actually maggot therapy for different gangrenic wounds because the larva of certain species of flies will actually eat only the dead tissue, leaving the living tissue unaffected. That still involves putting maggots in your wounds though

- really don't recommend googling either of these conditions unless you want to see people with blackened parts of bodies and tiny white insect larvae inside someone's wound🙂

- anyway the gangrene stuff has been planned in advance, but I was not sure about the maggot part, so I checked and yes, the most common way to get it is to have an open wound in some very hot and humid climate. I'm too lazy to pull the Naruto World map for this post, so you'll need to open the pinned post on this blog if you don't know the general stuff about it, but based of the most extreme climatic points for it (with something like Land of Snow in the north and Land of Wind with its desert in the south), I think it's fair to interpret Naruto world as somewhat Northern Hemisphere situated? if that makes sense. meaning that Land of Rivers being next to Land of Wind is pretty hot and humid (there's literally a long ass river in canon by Akatsuki's hideout + also Deidara sits in some fucking cave for 3 days straight), sooooo... yeah, who would have seen this coming *gasp*

- and one last funny fact about my life: so I posted this chapter on Friday, and following Tuesday I had my regular Chinese classes, and our study group has like an absolutely insane range of girls from different profession, because somehow we've got me the data scientist, a girl who is currently studying back at uni that I just finished, but for something like a business degree, a lawyer girl, a girl working in agriculture and a nuclear engineer of all people, but most importantly a girl who is studying to be a doctor and already works as a nurse (which translates to "she is the same age as me but to get her degree she has to study like another 5 more years"). And as usual midway through the Chinese class we start chatting about normal girl things like SEWING BACK SEVERED LIMBS. And she actually said that the limit for a severed arm to be reattached is just 6 hours, after this it is considered infected and dead

- for reference I believe I've set the time between Deidara and her right arm's departure to be about 24 hours lmao. so realistically she should not be getting this arm back either. but realistically she should have also died from shock back in Suna, so some of the realism is thrown out of the window to accomodate Naruto world's batshit crazy stuff. let's just say her right arm is alright thanks to some weird DNA changes thanks to being an active chakra user and a descendant of a major shinobi clan😁I mean the arm was lying there for just a day, it's not as bad a walking around an open wound for almost a week🙂

- also I was pretty spot on with most of Deidara's symptomps even before finishing the research, except for one thing and that is pain actually going away after the infection kills the nerves in the limb. so in the released chapter she doesn't feel anything in it (and now it's just the rest of her body screaming in pain because low on chakra + got beaten up + didn't eat or drink for days + the whole blood loss thing, so she is practically getting a first row experience into what is it like to have all of your organs shut down), but in the plan that I did for this chapter Deidara actually still felt some pain in her arm, so Tobi asks her to rate her current pain on scale from one to ten and Deidara says something like three. Obito is kind of relieved but still sus of her condition then asks how did it feel to have her arm ripped away and then this dunderhead replies with four or five and Obito just goes

😁fun stuff that didn't make it to the final version

- now onto "hey, that happened before and caused this!" part of the notes: so why the fuck Deidara's condition deteriorates so quickly after an entire day of strolling around and hiding in the bushes from possible ambushes? well, the answer is: the strangulation scene!

- I imagined that she's already pretty low on energy by the time she finds Tobi and Zetsu, but she keeps herself stable by simply conserving her energy at any opportunity. However, certain someone's yapping pissed her off so badly she does a very stupid thing and attacks them. This entire physical exertion moment is what kicks off what follows in this chapter. I believe that I even mentioned that she is struggling to stand up after trying to kill Tobi. so, er, thanks, Obito?

- and now she is simply on a clock before she'll pass out in forest because ain't no way she is making it to Ame in that condition

- another major downwards turn happenes when Deidara starts vomiting and falls over, no longer able to walk: if you notice, she actually just seconds before that rapidly turned around two times, angry that Tobi is trying to stop her from walking to Ame, but accidentally going the wrong way. She was already feeling pretty sick, and this movement is the final nail in the coffin for her poor empty stomach. so, er, thanks, Obito?

- His much wider gait allows him to quickly close the gap between him and the Akatsuki member, however Tobi never allows the distance to fall below some respectable ten or so meters

I actually mention through this walk how the distance changes between the two of them, Obito is thinking about his 927482838 things, while he is actually getting closer and closer to Deidara, first it's 10 meters, then it's 7, then 4, until he catches up to her, but not because Deidara wanted to slow down

- As the branch that Deidara previously avoided hits Obito in the chest and finally breaks in half

just me having fun with their height difference😁Deidara is at best Obito's chin level, so this is a thing that could happen

- I explained it quite a bit in the comments under the chapter, but there's a number of factors going for Obito not realizing what is wrong with Deidara: his paranoia about Zetsu, his dick still wanting some explanation to the events in "Hell", him losing touch with understanding the processes of human body because he has been that isolated from others for years, him assuming Akatsuki members won't die to some wounds and his assumption that Sasori did something about Deidara's left arm

- Besides, even with her current wounds, she has been trained by Iwagakure, so she would have a higher resistance to low-level and medium-level genjutsu

I'm trying to balance here what is known and unknown about Deidara's past, and I think it should be a common knowledge that Iwagakure has some special training in place against genjutsu (considering how broken they are), and Deidara, being Tsuchikage's student, would have to go through it, if not something tougher🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

- "Stop being so fucking daft and turn away already!" Deidara switches between passive irritation and angry outburst as quickly as her artworks go up in smoke."

So, in regards to Deidara's current mood: she is pissed at Tobi for watching her at her weakest. Like, wanna murder and bury your body right here pissed, but doesn't have enough strength to do it for the fear it'll make her feel worse. As far as Iwa's modern (I guess Mu and Onoki originated?) philosophy is that weakness is unacceptable under any circumstances. Showing weakness is crushing your pride, showing weakness is showing your worthlessness, and this cult of pride is being instilled in shinobi kids since young age. Not that people in Iwa don't naturally think very high of themselves

- "Obito's ears certainly felt hot even before Deidara started to sigh and cough while she continued to satisfy her urge somewhere at his hand level."

And another thing that I made a point to include in the first half of the chapter that goes away in the second with Deidara's quick descent into the afterlife - Obito's paranoia about Zetsu watching him and Obito's horny at the smallest things involving her, such as her drinking water. After our babygirl throws up, Obito doesn't think of the double trouble again for the remainder of this chapter.

Not only that, but Obito actually gets to undress and touch her body which would have awakened a rabid wild hog in him previously. I've actually changed Deidara's clothing a bit in the fic (all the way back in LTFG)

☝️exhibit of Deidara's clothing underneath Akatsuki cloak

to be completely honest I kind of disliked his top half of the design for years at this point. The color of the top is omega ugly and doesn't look good on him, and while practically everyone wears some mesh thingy in the manga, I can not concieve a practical reason for that. Either that's just pretty clothing (which is... why would an Akatsuki member wear something that doesn't help in combat?) or it's supposed to be some sort of body armor, but a) doesn't look to be that sturdy + Deidara rips it off his chest with ease b) it would just add weight to a ranged fighter who would, you know, rather avoid an attack on the vital organs rather than get hit and try to protect him with something.

So Girldara actually wears just a simple black top on her upper torso, no mesh or anything. Here's a photo of how I approximately imagine it looks:

Simple, doesn't restrain movement, comfy, all of which would have been pretty important for a nukenin like her. The cloaks, I think, would be enough to protect against the weather and temperature, so there's no need for her to dress anything beyond the pants, her belt bags and a top.

(and if you are wondering if she wears bra beneath it, well... I would say that no?🤣 ahahhahahaha. It would kind of get in the way and she isn't "endowed" enough to have to wear one to support her back🤣 but let's allow Obito to discover this fun little fact)

- "The eyelashes on her only visible eye shake as she gazes at Tobi in a stupor-like state, he is not even sure if she understands who he is at the moment."

an unexpected complaint, yeah, but I keep forgetting that Deidara's left eye is covered with a scope, so Obito can't actually see her eyes plural. I do remember that Obito has only one eye, but Google docs keep trying to fix both Deidara's eye and Obito's eye to plural🙄🙄🙄

also I often forget which side of Zetsu is which. Because Obito's left eye is gone, while Deidara's left one is covered by hair/scope, I constantly think that Black is the left half, when in reality it's the opposite💀💀💀💀

- "But Tobi thinks it looks okay! For a... well... limited edition limb. Sorry! Tobi's sorry! Please don't hit me, I'm just saying whatever comes to my mind!" Deidara simply makes an irritated grunt in reply, keeping her eyes closed."

If you haven't noticed, throught the entire "examination" Deidara keeps her eyes closed. She is trying to get back to her senses. But in the process she stops expecting seeing Tobi prancing around her, so when she does open her eyes, it's hard for her to focus and see things around her, her vision is getting blurry, and because she can't see clearly (and well whatever is on her mind) she freaks out

- a mild spoiler but what causes her to freak out is the color of Obito's mask. Certain someone from her past used to wear something orange and that set her off.

- I actually got around to designing this someone and I think I did a pretty good job getting them from my mind out onto the 3D model! Obviously, not showing it right now, but just keeping updated that some characters are already in the process of being developed

- okay but something actually drove me fucking nuts with the whole examination scene. so I finish writing Obito looking over her right arm, deciding that it looks okay enough and choosing to put something around it to prevent her from bleeding out later and kind of decreasing the necessity of her keeping up the chakra blocks, right? so I go open the dictionary for the word describing that thing to put around her arm and what I find is

tourniquet????

this feels like a fake word. like somebody made it up and placed it in the dictionary for funsies. why the fuck is it like that?

so I send it to my friends and ask them if it actually exist and describes the thing that I am trying to explain and they collectively reply that yeah, that's the word, sounds super fake, doesn't it?

anyway the executive decision for this chapter was to use the word "strap" because it does sound more sensible and appropriate for the context. yeah, "strap" also refers to a specific... device that a girl would wear with her freaky boyfriend (and I can't say that I haven't entertained such a scenario with Obito's bisexual ass, but anyway). in any case I would rather use the funny word rather than that one, because that feels like French propaganda that I'm not about to fall for.

- "Dumbass... a real shinobi knows how to take pain... with head held high..." Deidara interrupts Tobi's unserious musings with her croaking. "You're... worthless... if you can't handle pain..."

huh I wonder who could have told Deidara that🤭

- "No, sorry, not happening. I've got only one scarf, after all, and you've got a bunch of those cloaks that you guys don't even wanna share with Tobi. And it's Tobi's favorite too!"

This was me just messing around lmao. Tobi's and Obito's sentiments practically never coincide, but in this instance Tobi does say the truth and Obito actually values his ✨scarf✨ like a petty bitch lol

- also I believe that as chapter progresses I've been changing Tobi's speech pattern in "serious" situations, particularly by getting rid of the third person name calling (Tobi thinks/Tobi wants/Tobi can't) which actually sounds more natural in Japanese because it's not uncommon for someone to refer to themselves in third person in certain circumstances. Obito uses only "I" whenever shit starts hitting the fan

- "It was always him assuming that Pain and his people would act reasonably"

If you remember the description of the fic, the main thing around From Queen to a Pawn is Obito finally deciding to leave the shadows and join Akatsuki as their member, Tobi. This moment in particular refers to some of the biggest issues that Obito has ran into during this mission - all of Akatsuki members belonging to a suicide watch and caring only for their personal bullshit, even if that said bullshit will result in them or their fellow Akatsuki members getting killed😁so Obito will set out to watch everyone in the open and correct their movements so that Eye of the Moon doesn't end before even starting

- "Deidara's speech now sounds like an endless mess of slurred noises somewhat resembling human speech. Obito is unsure if it is becoming harder to understand her because of the Iwa accent suddenly returning to her or simply due to her tongue not following her brain's commands anymore."

I am a big fan of the whole "Five Great Shinobi nations actually don't speak the same way" idea. I would definetily say that Iwa, Suna and Kiri certainly should have civilians speaking different languages than the "common" one, which affects their speech a lot, so you can kind of guess where a shinobi is from based on the type and strength of their accent. Obito got rid of his years ago (plus I would say that Konoha's accent is by far the closest one to the "common" language of the continent), because it gets in the way whenever he must impersonate someone, he actually learned how to imitate most shinobi accents on the go. Deidara used to have Iwa one and a pretty strong one at that, but she had spent half of her life away from her homeland, so she practically never shows it. I'd say most of Akatsuki members end up losing their hyper specific accent after a few years, so their speech is pretty close to each other's.

- "I wasn't late, I am not late, I can not be late, she survived, she survived even when all believed her to be a goner, she can't die now, not like this."

One of the main ideas that I had coming into this fic is to parallel Rin's death with Deidara's aftermath of the Kazekage capture mission. Obviously, Obito was too late to arrive to save Rin, and when he goes off to find Deidara, he eventually starts succumbing to despair and assuming her to be dead as well. Obviously, she proves him wrong, and so he gets this childish and hopeful idea that everything is going to be alright, because he was not late this time. Of course, nothing is fine, as Deidara is about to die in the middle of the forest from an untreated gangrene, so Obito gets a choice: to follow Madara's (Deidara is a disposable tool ultimately not really important for the plan) and Tobi's (incompetent idiot that won't be able to do anything for Deidara regardless of how hard he tries) role or to follow what Uchiha Obito set out to do 16 years before the current events and failed at (saving the girl of his interest from a certain death). Well, you know how the rest of the chapter goes, but it is one of the first steps that Obito takes in Deidara's direction😁

- "Hey, hey, hey, Deidara-san, I'm bored. Like, sooooo bored. Can we sing a song? I know one about nine cute ducklings and a scary crow!"

I was writing that particular part during my flight after IELTS, so I couldn't google any real kids' rhythems, thus I simply ended up making up something on the go. The nine cute ducklings are supposed to be the Akatsuki members, while Obito is the scary crow lmao

- "Tobi twirls in place as he jumps onto a clearing with no grass, likely burnt down by a forest fire in the past summer, the earth beneath his feet dry and chunky, as he almost collides with charred tree stump."

The choice for "Obito tweaking the fuck out" scene was to contrast Rin's death scene. Obviously, Deidara finds Zetsu and Tobi in the middle of the day, so she passes out under the sunlight, while Rin died in the middle of the night with full moon present. But besides the whole Sun and Moon thing, I've also decided to contrast "dry" and "wet" qualities of both scenes. Obito is sitting on a burnt down clearing, the earth there is cracked and dry, sun is burning as they are in hot climate, compared to the massacre that Obito commited back then, with everything ending up wet and covered in blood.

- "The edges of his vision are trembling as Obito slowly lowers his face to finally take a look at who (not what, not what, not what) he was holding."

Another thing that I did for this scene - Deidara is no longer referred to by her name, only "she" all the way until, I believe, Obito makes the decision to try and save her with Kamui. This is to amplify that feeling of Obito no longer being able to tell apart who he is holding, because again he is having his wonderful PTSD attack

- "Obito keeps supporting the girl's back with his left arm while he is trying to tighten the makeshift strap above the now bleeding wound."

Again, I was writing this part during the plane ride, so I couldn't check the manga, but later as I was editing the chapter, I realized that I accidentaly did some very funny contrast between this scene and Rin's death.

So, what happens is Obito picks Deidara up with her right side pressed against him, meaning that for the rest of the chapter Obito is holding her back with his left arm, Deidara is supported by his still fully human part of the body

Meanwhile if we compare it to Rin's death

It's actually the opposite

Obito is holding Rin with his right arm, the one that was destroyed and replaced by Madara

:D

- "A few seconds later a strong trembling overtakes her entire body, something moves in her throat and blood begins to leak from her mouth too, painting the left corner of it red."

Also an intended simularity

- "If he glances to the right, he can see silhouettes of newborn trees, their bark shining pearly white in the impenetrable darkness of the night, bearing their first fruits clad in blue-gray uniform and masks, the air heavy and moist from the bloodshed in it. And if he glances to the left, thick forest dances in the bright rays of sun, creating a somber melody for the burnt down clearing, empty and dead and so damn cold."

Again with the whole right and left thing - to Obito's right it's his massacre of the Blood Mist ninja, while on his left what is actually taking place

- "But no matter where he looks, one thing remains the same: a body of a girl in his arms, her face covered in blood, thin streaks of it running down from her mouth, pale and unmoving, but with a bizarrely serene expression on her face, as if at long last she is at absolute peace."

This paragraph can refer to both Rin and Deidara, it's specifically vague like that

- "Where the moon doesn't reflect off of her blood-soaked brown hair.

Where the sun doesn't make her long messy bangs shine like gold against the paleness of her skin."

That's as close to Sun and Moon analogy as I could get lmao

Aaaand that's about it for this chapter? Most of the remaining stuff is self-explanatory in my opinion lmao. Now onto finishing "Obito's no-good terrible bad day"🤭

[heatwa-ves]

Wait what is jojos actually about?? Or is there no plot just a bunch of muscular gayboys running around for 1 million seasons?? I have a friend who loves jojos and they keep talking about tarot cards. Also I think they mentioned vampires at one point??

you have opened pandoras box here I'll TRY not to yap endlessly but no promises. jjba follows the joestar family the protagonist of each part are all related and all have a name beginning with jo (or gio. if you're italian) hence jojo. and the first few parts while having some things carry over from previous parts could probably be watched as standalone (tho you HAVE to have seen 1 and 3 in order to watch 6) so. quick summary of each of the parts I've seen (7 out of the 9) (part 9 is ongoing)

part 1 phantom blood (1880s or thereabouts): blonde british bisexual man (dio) is such a bitch ass hater he kills his adopted father becomes a vampire and tries very hard to kill his adopted brother jonathan joestar.

part 2 battle tendency (1920s): jonathan joestars grandson joseph is a beautiful brunette bisexual and he has to kill these four extremely cunty evil guys with the help of another beautiful blonde bisexual who he has a gay little thing going on with

part 3 stardust crusaders (1980s) : stands exist now and it's all dios fault. 100+ years later and he just won't die he's too much of a hater. josephs grandson jotaro goes on a roadtrip from japan all across asia to egypt kicking tarot card themed ass on the way while travelling with the most boring character ever, his xenophobic bisexual grandad, a frenchman with enormous tits and questionable hair, my wife, and a bitch ass dog in order to kill the immortal british blonde bisexual vampire who's ruining everyones life. I don't really like this part or rather I get annoyed thinking about it because it could be good and it isn't but my friend loves it so I guess it's a matter of taste.

part 4 diamond is unbreakable (1999) : prior to the roadtrip joseph (aged sixty something) cheated on his wife with the coolest woman alive and her son is called josuke he's the sweetest boy alive he's my baby brother and I would die for him. there are slice of life hijinks in a weird little japanese town for half this part and a really really good narrative about a kinky serial killer for the second half. joseph adopts an invisible baby he found on the side of the road

part 5 golden wind/vento aureo if you wanna be italian about it (2001) : (my favourite) dios son moved to italy changed his name to giorno giovanna and joined the italian mafia along with the only fictional character I have ever felt genuine desire towards and some other characters I adore. they kick a lot of ass and giorno age 15 becomes the boss of the mafia. it's good I swear

part 6 stone ocean (2011) : (prob my 3rd fav) jotaros daughter jolyne is arrested for a murder she's framed for. she has lesbian hijinks in jail and a priest with an unhealthy obsession with dio the blonde bisexual british vampire (he won't leave us alone) tries his best to kill her because her dad (who she kinda hates and has had nothing to do with in years) killed dio 20 years ago. they escape jail and said priest resets the entire universe. jolyne is one of my favourite characters EVER

part 7 steel ball run (1890) : (my other favourite) johnny joestar an ex jockey meets a random italian man and joins a pan continent horse race from san diego to new york in hopes of regaining his ability to walk. on the way he encounters dios reincarnation (still blonde bisexual and british but a dinosaur now. occasionally) and the corpse of Jesus Christ and kills the president.

[hyckism]

BOX. — profiles 2

𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 when i take it with the team

one juvenile pact made in chenle’s basement has kept them inseparable for years. they may constantly be at each other’s throats, but they wouldn’t trade it for anything. except maybe renjun..

JISUNG — ‘02 hamster boy, acts shy but if he wants you he’ll make it KNOWN, has an iron man shrine in his room, still says i love you 3000 after 5 years

RENJUN — ‘00 bookstore worker!renjun, loves iced coffee and people watching, talks shit and will stand on business if he’s confronted, chronically offline

HAECHAN — ‘00 swears he’s got such a dark and mysterious aura but yaps 25/8, obsessed with renjun, barista!haechan

CHENLE — ‘01 always has money but never has a job??, will challenge you to a 1v1 in basketball and bro is NOT going easy, not even kids are safe from his skills😔

profiles 1 — masterlist

[tewwor]

🎰 maybe otherside verse jiwon andddd supernatural muses pls!! 👀

Send 🎰 for me to put our muses into a random list generator then post the first five as potential ships! (accepting) @interxstitial

amaro — i got nothing, um.... i haven't really written amaro outside of other vampire interactions ( it's always bad, he's always hissing and spitting ). so idk how he usually is????? probably nicer, more like a decent person in society. maybe even helpful?? sympathetic? might try to see if he knows any exorcists or hunters that have come by whatever the hell's going on with jiwon? or there's the, 'oh no i need to feed desperately and you should really not be here' plot device as an option.

walter — .. why are we back here. i thought i got rid of him ( i hallucinated it ). is jiwon still working for this bastard? he can leave at anytime, i promise. walt won't say it, but he totally can. idk put shit on his coffin during the day, that'll be funny

simon — no! run! he will try literally everything to strike a deal with jiwon! but the outcome will never be good or beneficial to him!!!! simon's sooooo nice and bubbly at face value, but he's garbo i swear. the option of him being in a band with a normal human + parasitic angel-thing is also an option, because the idea of him using a fanbase to collect souls is... right there for the taking.

m. — if you though ravi was eccentric ( he still is in a fuckboi kind of way ), then make way for the archaic version AND his ravi's literal obsession ( one-sided nemesis ). is this actually mothman? yes, but m. will always deny it. and oddly enough? a lot people let it slide. i think the idea of jiwon being in his lamp emporium is very funny in the way that.. there are so many fragile things to shatter and if m. has even the inkling of something off about jiwon he'd be so quick to punt him outside, but also join him out there because he loves to yap so much. but also, um, m. tends to have diasters happen around him so..... maybe.. it impacts jiwon too?

clarence — hey man, you want some emotional support? here, clarence's full of it. even if he's super fucking weird and constantly glows and never really... dies. he's here for you, jiwon.

[tryhardgwen]

rs archive 10/26/2024:

hiii i just want to start this by saying that ur amazing kdjfsfhks already commented on ur fic 'all my love' but i want to yap more so here i am bothering u hahahaha when isay that that fic is my roman empire, i mean it. bec these are some of the things that suddenly crossed my mind regarding ur fic fkdjjhk

hyunjoon asking minhyung if he was sure about the promise ring and mentioning it in his best man speech, like oh my god. i know hyunjoon with his bleeding heart didn't mean it maliciously but wooje is stronger than me bec personally that shit would just kill me ksdjfhsk i would cry hahaha like damn, that was something AHAHAHAHHA that would keep me awake at night, i would have high-tailed it and never come back. screaming crying breaking down skfujhkd it was a shot straight to insecurities 😭

pls hyukkyu and sanghyeok is just <333 i love them, i will give them all my mortal possessions, i will jump in front of a bus for them. pls tell me they end up together forever happy ending period 😭 i know its not possible for everyone to just have a happy ending, bec that's really not how it goes, but plssssss tell meeee they end uppp happpyyy annddd not separateddd 😭😭😭

minhyung and minseok, i love them, go my children, be happy. so soulmate!! i cant believe gumakeria just invented love <333 butt i have a question since these two are so soulmate, did they have any instances where they got jealous of another person?? or are they literally a match made in heaven forged by god himself the angels are protecting them, that they are so secure in their relationship?? (did that make sense 😭)

ur just so awesome. if u have a fanclub, i am part of it, i will be the president hahaha like, people always say that to be a good writer 'show dont tell' and thats something that u got in the bad. like 10/10 everything is just so vivid and real!! anyy tips or advice to us fic writers who strive to be like uuuu?? hahaha

(sorry if this is too long kjfksdf)

hii!! sorry for the late response ;A; but omg thank you so much!! yes, you can yap to me anytime. i love yapping about my fics soo much and going on tangents. (roman empire is so flattering and too high praise thanK YOU???)

hyunjoon asking minhyung if he was sure about the promise ring is a fucking slap to the face HAHAHAHAH. but i think it correctly portrayed (wow "i think" as if im not the author) the confusing feelings and whatnot. like, at the time, wooje thought him and hyunjoon would be together forever. yet shown in homemade dynamite, even though he thought that he still wanted more and still wanted to leave. it was almost an acceptance but not quite what he wanted? wooje has always been envious of minhyung and minseok. hyunjoon didn't start until after he asked that and after minhyung answered. hyunjoon was going through a lot of ?? doubts at the time, because, typically dont people want more experience in romance? in the passage after, i also think its interesting because it shows that growing up everyone assumed hyunjoon was the flighty one and the one that was going to leave. wooje was the one that thought they would stay tgt forever, and hyunjoon wasnt sure. but the thing is in his mind, wooje also wanted to leave. hence why he did right? ppl were surprised bc.. well wooje doesnt tell people these things. as for woojes reaction to learning the information, hes stunned for a while. i think its a little ironic how he's hurt by it, in a way. like "what do you mean you didnt think we were going to be together forever?" when he was the one that ended up leaving. its almost selfish how he asks later--“Did you say those things to shame me?” as if it was about him. (it wasnt. sharing the story it was about minhyung + minseok and their dedication to each other, and hyunjoons envy). idk i think it was a very poignant moment i put in and im a little obsessed with it (im not narcissistic i swear im just intrigued by the things i write)

im not going to say a thing about sanghyeok and hyeokgyu. i do not want to get in trouble HAHAHAHHA . however, sanghyeok does have a spinoff in the drafts. this does not mean its coming out soon though because i have 18738234 wips.

minhyung and minseok are so sweet i finally freed gumakeria from the pain i give them in my other fics. when it comes to getting jealous of other people, nah. i dont think outright jealousy ever happened. maybe more of "spend more time with me?" from guma but not the insecurity and eating away feeling that jealousy gives. its definitely never from a place of insecurity.

as for tips and advice kajhahkr well you didnt ask advice on an indepth topic like description or dialogue so imma just skim over them all and say the stuff off the top of my head. theres the basics first. essentially, proper grammar and punctuation. every writer needs a good baseline. if you read my older fics, i struggled with this a bit--starting sentences with verbs (?? gwen why???) and having runons and such. after that its just a matter of figuring out what tone you want to convey and word choice. thesauruses are ur best friend if youre constantly looking for more specific descriptive words to use but make sure to define and make sentences if you dont know a word bcus u wanna learn it! that helps when it comes to description. sometimes when u get in the flow of a fic really fast its hard to do description so reading + rereading and adding more description as you read is a good tip! i do that a lot. figurative language is a broad field and it depends whether or not you like it but playing around with similes and metaphors can be fun! like you said, showing and not telling is important. when it comes to dialogue keep it simple and remember to properly format your dialogue..! its a big help with characterization; figuring out who would say what and who wouldnt is pretty important with that. keeping in mind characterization and dynamic between characters helps dialogue a lot too. i go back and forth in my head a lot when i write dialogue, and i also consider how i would respond as well or whats natural. as for characterization!! highlighting character motivations is important! what is their gOAL in the story, what do they want in the conversation. everything they say or do is trying to get what they want, whether its "to give up a secret" (minseok trying to talk to wooje about his college pre-reveal that he dropped out) or "to hang out."

um i spieled a lot im sorry. i too, am a yapper. but if u have any more specific questions feel free to shoot them here hehe. thank you THANK YOU for this <3 i had a lot of fun reading and respondng. i hope you have an amazing day <3

[inactiveanimeblog]

YANDERE ITACHI X READER

thinking of making an NSFW pt two for this and releasing it this week lmk :)

modern AU where itachi is a yandere, obsessed with his new little puppy.

tw : yandere, kidnapping, pet play, cage, collar, abuse and violence towards reader, swearing, reader is treated like a dog

life was pointless.

no one was coming to look for you anymore, no one cares, and for all everyone knows you could be dead.

but you’re not.

you’re in the basement of a man’s home, locked up in a small cage made for a medium sized dog, clawing at the metal to be let out, crying and begging to be let go.

you are let out every once in a while if you’re being “good.” and it feels nice to stretch out your legs and eat food at the dinner table like a normal human being, not like some pet licking food and water out of a puppy bowl.

it also feels nice to be able to use the bathroom and shower instead of being let outside to piss on the ground and be washed down afterwards by a hose.

every day it’s the same thing. you act up, you get treated like a dog and put in a cage. you be a good puppy and you get to sleep in the comfy warm bed with itachi, you get to almost be treated normally.

but none of this is genuinely ‘normal.’ living in fear with the sick man who kidnapped you is not normal.

you miss your friends, your family. you hated your old job but gosh you’d rather be anywhere in the world but here.

you wonder if you’ll ever get out someday. to see other humans, do regular things, come back to reality.

but with a man as strong and sadistic as itachi you know your chances to escape are slim to none, and you can’t really make a plan when he watches you like hawk. whether he’s in front of you or watching you from the camera’s.

he comes down to the basement to check on you. you don’t even notice he’s in the basement. it’s been six hours you estimated in the cage. you’ve screamed and cried as loud as you could the entire time, you’re surprised you hadn’t lost your voice yet.

he kicks the cage, getting your attention. you look up at him with your teary and defeated eyes. he thinks it’s cute when you look at him like that. you really are a little pup.

he crouches down to your level, puts a collar in front of your face, and smiles.

“sweetheart. you’ve been such a bad little puppy lately you know?” he starts. “if only you could be a good girl then you wouldn’t have to be in this little cage. you could be sleeping with me upstairs.”

“fuck you itachi.” you spit at him.

he chuckles at you. when will you ever learn?

“bad puppies get punished. you know you’re not supposed to bark back at your owner. so i got you a little something.” he waves the collar in front your face, it’s not like he hasn’t gotten you a collar before. this isn’t anything new.

“i know what you’re thinking. but this isn’t a regular collar, puppy. this is a shock collar. so whenever you yap out of that bad little mouth of yours, it’s gonna shock your entire body.”

there’s no way he’s seriously thinking of putting a shock collar on you.

“don’t you dare think about putting that fucking thing on me!” you shout, hitting at the cage like a weakling. his face contorts into anger and he unlocks the cage, dragging you out of it by your hair until your completely in front of him. he lands a harsh smack to the side of your head.

you gotta admit, when he hits you, you can really feel it. he’s not one to play with, but every single last bit of dignity you have, sticks to you. you can’t let him win.

and you wish you would have given up a long time ago. you wish you would have just let him have you, but there’s just one part of you that won’t let him.

the ringing in your ear and the dizziness of the slap has you completely helpless while he undoes your other puppy collar and wraps and locks the new collar on your neck, pushing you back into the cage and closing it.

“there you go pup, this will teach you how to be a good baby.” he smiles again, standing up and wiping off his hands like he just did some hard work.

“plea-” bad idea. the moment you speak your zapped with a stinging and burning sensation throughout your entire body.

trying to take it off doesn’t work either when there’s a lock on it.

“it works perfectly. i knew this would be the best gift for you. now you be a good puppy and think about your actions for the next few hours. i’ll come back to check up on you later.” he says before walking off upstairs and closing the basement door behind him.

you wanna cry, scream, beg him to take it off of you. but you know you can’t and you swear the last bit dignity you have starts to leave you.

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

heyo your imagines are amazing and i like reading them so much. i really appreciate you for writing for Alice in borderland as there isn’t a lot of content out there~ can you please write an imagine for niragi where the reader has been at the beach for quite the time and when she gets to know niragi she somehow falls for him because she sees right through him, and that he maybe starts to develop feelings for the reader too because she’s fearless and very confident. if it’s not too much trouble, could you make it a bit suggestive as well? thank you in advance~~

Of course I can! I’m not the best at writing with suggestive themes so I’ll try my best! 😅 I’m sorry but I changed the story line a little bit for it to fit more, so I hope this is still kind of what you had in mind.

Unlovable | Suguru Niragi

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

Character(s): Niragi (ft. Ann, Aguni, Hatter, Mira, Chishiya, Arisu, Last Boss)

Summary: Niragi finally finds you, who loves him for who he is, well, not exactly. And he gets a bit too attached.

Warnings: toxic relationship, suggestive themes, a lot of gaslighting, obsessive themes, a little bit angsty, threatening, choking, swearing, name calling

Word Count: 3.2k

*reader is female

Author’s Note: Sorry this took a while to post. I was busy for the past couple of days so it’s kinda rushed 😣

“Y/N! Come quick!”

You jolted awake as Ann burst into your room, shaking the door frame from the force. You blinked your eyes to adjust to the light, looking at her dazed.

“What?” you murmured, sitting up and out of the comfy sheets on your bed. 

“The executives have called a meeting. They say it’s urgent,” she stressed, rushing up to the side of your bed and ripping the duvet off of you.

You shivered and sighed loudly in disappointment. “Why? It’s too early for this shit,” you whined, rolling back onto your side and closing your eyes again. These urgent emergency meetings have become ridiculous, always taking place in the morning when everyone’s still sleeping. You would gladly have quit having the higher place at The Beach if it meant for you to have some peace and quiet.

“Now!” Ann pushed again. You groaned in annoyance and got out of bed. She seemed serious, so you didn’t want to anger her more.

You both quickly made your way to the top floor where the meeting room for the executives was located. You noticed Ann’s heavy breathing and worried expression, making you anxious as to what she thinks could have happened.

Hatter had left the night before to replenish his visa, having a big celebration as he drove off with Aguni and a few more of his men. Things had been becoming more tense as time went on. It felt wrong watching Hatter drive away so reluctantly. You offered to assist him in his game, seeing as you earned yourself a high number at The Beach from clearing many difficult games yourself. But Hatter declined, insisting that he would return to The Beach safe and sound before you knew it.

But unfortunately, he was wrong.

You and Ann rushed into the large room. You saw Arisu and Chishiya standing near the end of the table placed in the middle of the room. You strolled over to them and laid eyes on the scene before you.

There, Hatter laid dead on the table. Limbs spread out lifeless, skin pale and dead. The horrific sight made you feel sick, making you cover your mouth with your hand. The scene almost felt unreal, this shouldn’t have happened. Hatter wouldn’t be dead if you just went with him.

Ann walked over to his body to examine it, but before she even had the chance to touch the bullet wound embedded in his bare chest, Niragi barged into the room with his usual cocky and obnoxious aura filling the air like a bad smell.

“Oi, don’t touch him as you please. You dissection maniac,” he growled.

Your eyes followed him closely. Now that Hatter was gone, people like him could start dangerous trouble at the hotel. But, as long as you said something about it, you would make sure Niragi wouldn’t start any fires that he’s not willing to put out himself.

After all, you were the only person who knew his true self, and how he perceived everyone around him. It was pathetic really. In a way you took pity on him. Such a simple tactic for the brain to protect itself, become a heartless and cold monster towards others so no one could ever do the same to you again.

With Niragi, unfortunately it was hunt or be hunted.

You kept your strong gaze on him as he lifted his eyes to meet yours from across the table for a hot minute. His dark orbs glistened as they locked with yours, making the tension in the room become thicker as every second passed. He smirked in your direction before turning away.

“He was shot by a gun,” Ann stated, breaking the thick silence in the room. She looked over the small hole in his chest in fascination.

“What will happen to The Beach?” a young man asked who was standing nearby you. You stayed silent, not wanting to start anything that may end in chaos. You always had good points and valid arguments, but sometimes you knew when the best time was to bring them up. This was not it.

“I mean it’s only reasonable for the strongest to become the new leader!” Niragi exclaimed over everyone. “We need someone who can take good care of The Beach and keep order,” he yapped on, swinging his sniper rifle all around making a few people flinch when he aimed it at them.

You rolled your eyes at his behaviour. Trust him to be the most opinionated.

“I say, how about Aguni as our new leader,” he suggested, leaning forwards onto the table and watching everyone like a hawk. Aguni held no reaction, keeping his usual cold stone expression while having Niragi speak for him.

After no one reacted, all looking down to the ground to avoid Niragi’s gaze, he stood up straight and pulled a bored expression. “That’s not a good reaction,” he mocked, “Last Boss?”

You glanced over to where the hooded figure stood, watching in fear as he unsheathed his katana sword and rushed over to Ann, holding the deathly sharp blade a few inches from her throat. Your heart leaped to your mouth. If he was to try anything, you were ready to start chaos.

But nothing of the sort happened. Ann simply sighed frustratingly and held up her hand obediently. Niragi hummed, approving.

“This isn’t a majority vote,” Mira hissed from next to him.

Niragi stood and leaned his face close to hers, holding the barrel of his weapon close to her face to threaten her. “But it is! Isn’t it? After all, you’re all free to vote as well.”

One by one, he slowly circled the table, each person being scared for their life the closer he got to them. But you remained calm next to Chishiya, knowing that considering the relationship you have with Niragi, he wouldn’t do anything that would hurt you. He didn’t have the guts to.

As he moved from Chishiya, he finally locked eyes with you. He quickly strolled up to your still frame, stopping suddenly very close to you in an attempt to make you feel threatened. ‘As usual,’ you thought to yourself. ‘The old “I’m taller and bigger than you so I’m stronger” stupid tactic.’

“And what about you princess? Care to raise your hand for a vote for Aguni?” he hissed into your face. You held your neutral expression, becoming bored from this act he was putting on. It was purely for show, and yet wasn’t everyone’s personality? But Niragi, his act of this scary psychotic man angered you to your core.

“What if I don’t?” you snickered, walking towards him in an attempt of intimidation. He took a step back in shock. “It’s not like you need my precious vote, you already have so many.”

Niragi’s usual cocky smirk melted from his face, turning into a frustrated scowl. You felt him put his rifle underneath your chin, forcing you to lock eyes with him. “Be careful with that tongue of yours sweetheart, you wouldn’t want to lose it,” he growled quietly.

His threat made you smirk, almost bringing butterflies into your stomach. “I think you should be more concerned about that head of yours. You wouldn’t want to get it stuck too far up your own ass.”

You flinched as you felt his rough hand shoot from his rifle to your neck, instantly tightening around your throat making you widen your eyes in surprise. You lifted your arm and gripped his wrist in case he tightened his hold anymore. The look on his face was deathly. If looks could kill, you’d be already a few years into the afterlife.

Chishiya stood beside you watching the whole scene. He knew better than to intervene, as he could tell that Niragi wouldn’t ever intentionally permanently hurt you.

Niragi held you still as he leaned down to your ear, his hot breath hitting your sensitive skin. “Shut your fucking mouth you brat. You wouldn’t want me to hurt you too much later, would you?” You cringed as you felt his tongue slide behind the back of your ear, the piercing making you shiver.

“Niragi,” you heard Aguni say, saving you from the public embarrassment of getting felt up by Niragi in front of everyone you knew. “That’s enough, I think she gets the point.”

Niragi grunted in annoyance before loosening his fist on your neck. You sucked in a huge gasp of air, coughing slightly. Chishiya placed a gentle hand on your back in a sign of care, hoping that you’re okay.

Niragi aimed his rifle lazily at Chishiya’s face. “She’s fine, don’t touch her. A little choking is nothing she can’t handle.”

Chishiya immediately took his hand off of you, being taken back by Niragi’s comment.

You stood up straight after recovering, laying your eyes back on Niragi as he continued terrorizing the executive members.

God you hated that man. You hated how much you loved him.

*************

The room was now empty, consisting of no one except for you and Ann, who was still looking over Hatter’s body for any other injuries. You watched curiously, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed.

“Seems a bit weird, doesn’t it?” you spoke up through the silence.

“What does?” Ann answered, not bothering to look at you.

“Someone with a hundred percent winning streak dies now? Just as the tension between the militants and the others was getting to its peak?” you questioned.

Ann rolled her eyes sarcastically and turned towards you. “Took you long enough to figure out. Really? You didn’t suspect that from the start? Even after that shit-show that Niragi pulled earlier?”

You were taken back by her sudden anger. Ann never became mad at you, even if she had a legitimate reason to. You looked at her as she stared into your eyes intensely before sighing and turning back to Hatter.

“Sorry Y/N,” she apologized. “I’m just stressed. This shit is getting too heavy to handle, and now with Hatter gone and Aguni in his place, who knows what will happen to people like you, me, Mira, Chishiya and Alice. They could kill us if they want to.”

Her words hit your heart heavily. It was true. Aguni and his militants were never a particularly predictable bunch. And you weren’t exactly on all their good sides, well, except for Niragi’s.

“Sorry Ann,” you muttered out quietly. You thought it would be best to leave her alone. She obviously was quite distraught from Hatter’s death.

You shuffled out of the room, head held low in despair. Who knew what would happen to this place now? It was like a ticking time bomb only no one knew how long there was left until it exploded.

As you walked through the large door frame that led outside of the meeting room, a sudden grip on your arm brought you out of your thoughts and made you yelp. You were yanked into a hard chest, being held close and tight.

“Hey love. How are you feeling?” the person growled. You looked to see it was none other than Niragi himself. Of course it was, who else would treat you so roughly?

You stared into his ominous eyes, trying to read him. He ran his hand down your back slowly causing you to shiver. “Niragi,” you breathed out. You pushed against his broad chest to separate you. “Sorry, but I’m not in the mood right now.”

You stepped away from him and tried to escape down the hall, but he grabbed your hand before you could go anywhere. “Bullshit. You’re never in the mood. And the sass you were giving me in there in front of everyone says otherwise.” He pulled you back towards him, pushing your head onto his shoulder and nuzzling into your neck. “I didn’t like how you treated me, it made me upset.”

He was lying through his teeth, knowing that making you feel guilty for defending yourself against him would bring him more of your attention. Simple gaslighting, worked every time.

You chuckled against him then leaned back and cupped his face with your hands. He held a sad expression on his face, obviously to make you sympathetic.

“You’re such a big baby,” you laughed. “Try to act so tough and dominant in front of everyone, but look at you now. Crying into my shoulder about your feewings?” you mocked him. Niragi scowled and pulled his head out of your hands. “Shut up, as if you’re any better.”

It was true. That’s why you both clicked together. He was a gaslighting maniac who knew how to put up a fake ‘nice guy’ façade around you and you were a tough and snappy woman, who felt much too much empathy for others.

That’s how you fell into his trap. He used your empathy to his advantage, making you fall in love with him so he could have what he’d always wanted. Someone who loves him for who he is, no matter how many masks he had to put on for them.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, leaning up and pressing a small peck onto his lips. “Can you promise me something?” he suddenly asked after you pulled away from his face.

You grew anxious about what he wanted and nodded your head slowly in hesitation.

“When the chance comes, can we leave The Beach together? Like, run away?” he questioned, snaking his arms around your waist and squeezing tightly.

You laughed at his question, making him frown. He was being completely serious. “And go where Niragi? There’s not exactly a place we can go to.”

“Anywhere,” he answered sharply. “We could find a nice little hideout in Tokyo. Just you and me, no one else.” His grip on your waist tightened, making you flinch in his arms slightly.

He could see you tossing between answers. It wasn’t working, he had to try something else. He put on the fakest sad face he could do and pressed his forehead against yours while pouting. “Please? I promise I’ll take care of you.”

You practically melted as his begging. “Okay,” you sighed.

“Promise me,” he reminded you, running a hand through your soft hair.

There was a short moment of silence before you answered. “I promise.”

*************

You laid in your room with the sheets tossed lazily over you. Niragi was called to go talk to Aguni again before he went to sleep, so you were waiting for him.

Your eyes scanned your book quickly, wanting to finish the chapter you were on before Niragi returned. Because god forbid you having your attention on something that wasn’t him when he was around.

You glanced over at the door when you heard it creep open and Niragi stepped in, placing his sniper rifle carefully on the ground nearby and removing his boots.

“You took your time.” you teased, putting your book on the nightstand and sitting up in bed. Niragi groaned tiredly, stumbling over to your shared bed and collapsed dramatically face down onto the duvet. You giggled at him, running a soft hand though his midnight hair and pulling it out of it’s hair tie.

If he was a cat, he swore he could’ve purred at your touch. It made him feel warm and fuzzy inside. Not having physical affection for years on end does that to a person.

He sat up and crawled over to you. He grabbed your chin and pressed your lips together roughly, running his tongue across your mouth as he did so. You groaned into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck, making him smirk against your lips.

After a few minutes, he detached his lips from yours and started licking and sucking your sensitive skin on your jaw, slowly making his way down your neck. He felt shivers run down his spine as you gripped his shirt in your fist on his back. He loved having this power over you, and having you accept him and love him enough to not fight back.

You leaned your head back and closed your eyes, giving him more access to your neck. As you did so, he placed a hand on your lower back and pulled you towards him, forcing you to lie down on the bed with him hovering over you.

He pulled away from your neck and looked down at you, admiring your anxious expression painted across your face. He chucked. “What’s wrong baby,” he cooed, leaning down and continuing kissing your collarbones.

His voice was dripping in sweetness, so sweet it could’ve made you feel sick. It sounded fake, but you didn’t pick up on it. It was a shame. You saw Niragi as nothing but a victim of his own mind, but you weren’t able to see yourself becoming a victim of it.

“I’m just...” you mumbled out, feeling weak and vulnerable under his touch. “I’m scared Niragi.”

He pulled back again and looked into your eyes with a worried expression. “Why are you scared? It’s just me and you here angel. You’re perfectly safe,” he whispered out, stroking his knuckles down your cheek lovingly.

You knew you loved Niragi, but knowing he can change his personality in a blink of an eye unsettled you. Who knew when he would do that to you? You heard him speak up again.

“We’ve slept together many times before, why are you becoming shy just now?” he teased, lifting a hand and slowly running it up along your tummy underneath your shirt. Your breath hitched as his cold hands made contact, making your stomach muscles tense.

“So sensitive,” he cooed again, snuggling his head into your chest, just above your breasts. “I love you.”

The confession made your heart skip a beat and you tensed. Niragi noticed this, making his body fill with anxiety. Did he say it too soon?

“Sorry,” he mumbled against your shirt. “That was a bit much, you don’t have to say it back,” he gaslighted.

“No,” you cut him off. “I love you too.”

Niragi’s heart filled with warmth and he felt all his nerves tingle around his body. He hadn’t heard that since he was a kid, and hearing you say it did nothing but make him more fall in love.

“Thank you, Y/N,” he sniffed out. You looked down to see him staring at you, tears filling his eyes. It made your heart ache.

He took his body weight off you and hovered himself above you again. “I promise, I won’t let anyone ever hurt you,” he mumbled, voice cracking slightly. His arms that laid on either side of your head acted like a cage. Whether you were trapped willingly or forcefully was beyond your guess.

As he leaned his head down again and pressed his still wet lips against yours, you felt his lanky arms snake around your torso underneath you, keeping you in place.

You laid there, moving your mouths together and holding each other as close as possible. It would’ve almost been romantic and loving if it wasn’t for the context. While one was preying on their victim to achieve what they’ve so desperately wanted their whole life, the other believed that that person was the victim themselves.

Such irony, to love someone who has a ‘unlovable’ personality, when it’s not even the one that you fell in love with.

The one you fell in love with was nothing but one of his many masks. And no one could determine whether he would ever take it off in front of you.

Author’s Note: I’m so sorry this one was actually hard to write. It’s a bit all over the place but I hope it was still enjoyable to read! Also I’m not going to do a Part 2 to this fic, but if you want to read something similar to this kind of yandere theme with Niragi, read my other fic called You’re Everything You Once Hated. I’m going to be posting a Part 2 of that one soon.

[emiefaunwrites]

Okay so legit now. Someone asked an innocent question about Taka and now...NOW I can't ignore what my brain has conjured up. I would tag them but I'm not sure they'll be interested in my Ishileon bullshit!!

So yeah. Thank you very much @faustsqueeze for triggering me! I have to write this brainrot now haha! Sorry its Ishileon but they my boyyyys!

********************

• Taka likes his classical music.

• It's what he considers 'appropriate' music.

• The modern music these days are just full of sex and drugs and curses.

• As the Ultimate Moral Compass, he cannot condone such...such...THINGS.

• But ever since he heard Leon's SoundCloud rapping, he keeps hearing people listening to rap music.

• He'll pass through the halls and there it is again: that beat and that flow and those clever lyrics...

• DAMN IT!

• He can't help but ask Hiro and Makoto who they're listening to and they let him know its Eminem.

• And don't you know he heads straight to his room, switches on the laptop and listens to as many songs as he can.

• Everything about this man's music is vulgar and offensive and it goes against everything he should stand for.

• BUT HE LOVES IT!

• It's just ADDICTIVE and WITTY and FUNNY and he can't help but play it over and over again.

• And as Taka has an impeccible memory, he learns the entirety of Rap God word perfect within a couple of weeks of obsessive listening.

• But of course, no one can know.

• He is the Ultimate Moral Compass! He can't be seen to listening to inappropriate songs.

• And he's just getting to know Leon! And...he LIKES how he sticks to his morals and is pure hearted and all that. He of all people CANNOT know!

• But what he does in secret is just that. His own little secret.

• And we all know that secrets come out in the open eventually.

• Leon's on his way to the cafeteria one lunch time and decides to stop and see if Taka wants to join in.

• They went on their second date a couple of days ago and he's DESPERATE to arrange the next one as soon as possible.

• So he dusts off imaginary dust from his t-shirt as he walks over to Taka's door...

• And hears the low beat of a song coming from inside.

• Oh Jesus, he's listening to his SoundCloud again!

• Lifting his fist to knock, he finally catches some of the lyrics:

• 'This flippity dippity-hippity hip-hop, You don't really wanna get into a pissin' match, With this rappity brat, packin' a MAC, In the back of the Ac', Backpack rap crap, yap-yap, yackety-yack...'

• Of course Leon recognises the song now - Hiro jist won't stop listening to it.

• So it's not that the song is unfamiliar that shocks him...

• It's that Taka was rapping the lyrics.

• Word.

• Fucking.

• Perfect.

• Holy SHIT!

• He stands stunned outside the door for a few more moments, hearing curses and obscene lyrics coming out of his crush's mouth effortlessly.

• But eventually he knocks, not surprised to hear the music switch off abruptly with some squeaks of panic before the door opens to an overly cheerful Taka.

• 'Ah! Leon! Hello!'

• 'Hey...'

• 'Can...can I help you?'

• 'Yeah. Can I come in?'

• Lunch is entirely forgotten as Leon steps into the room, eyes scanning for the source of music.

• And the only thing he can see is the laptop.

• Taka's looking all shifty too - eyes darting over to said laptop, hands opening and closing against his legs.

• 'S-so...how can I help?'

• 'Oh. My uh...my laptop died. I need to look something up quick. Can I use yours?'

• Lies. Utter lies. But Taka isn't picking up on that as the colour drains from his face - spluttering about using the library or Mondo's or Chi or ANYONE else...

• 'I'll just be quick. Promise. Please?'

• He doesn't wait for an answer and moves towards the laptop, Taka squawking in panic down his ear...

• And sure enough, a Youtube video of Rap God is the first thing open.

• Leon hears the little squeak of shame from behind him, smiling to himself he clicks a new tab and looks up some random thing.

• And just gets up, closing the laptop and stands with - smiling at Taka, who's furiously blushing before heading to the door.

• 'Thanks!'

• 'Wait wait!'

• Leon stops as his arm is pulled back, looking at an extremely ashamed Taka.

• 'Hmm?'

• 'You're...you're not...disappointed?'

• That catches Leon off guard. Why the hell would he be disappointed that Taka listens to...

• Ah.

• A conversation at their last date springs back to his mind - a comment he made on how much he liked Taka's pure heart.

• And this is obviously something Taka thinks will ruin Leon's view of him.

• 'So you like a bit rap? It's no big deal. I like loads of different things. You think I care what people say?'

• Taka's clearly not convinced.

• 'And it doesn't change what I think. You're still cute, even if you swear to a song.'

• Now THAT brings a smile Taka's face, eyes watering with a light flush on his cheeks.

• But then it drops into an accusational glare.

• 'You heard, didn't you?'

• Busted.

• So with a swagger, Leon strides into Taka's personal space and smirks flirtily - pushing his luck.

• 'Hearing you say 'fuck' made my day.'

• Taka has NEVER gone so red so fast in his life!!

[ghostiewriter]

I am such a huge fan of your writing! I am obsessed with your Jiara fic Facades and Fabricated Feelings and your Rivusa fic Desiderium! Any change you could provide a few snippets/spoilers of either or both fics?! Also sorry if I am posting this in the wrong section...I am new to tumblr. 😅

Aww thank you, nonnie!!❤️I have nothing for Desiderium cause I haven’t started the next chapter yet🤡but take this wee snippet from Facades and Fabricated Feelings since this chapter is taking me a wee bit longer than I expected!!

Scarlet’s cheeks were flaming red, her eyes narrowed into a harsh glare.

“And this is where we depart!” JJ muttered as he quickly pulled Kiara along with him as they headed back to the table where the others were working. “Someone is feeling snappy today.” He muttered to her, lips brushing her ear and Kiara tried not to shiver at his warm breath tickling her skin.

“She deserves it.” Kiara whispered back with an innocent shrug but JJ only grinned in response. “She has been yapping on non-stop about her dance outfit all week. I swear I am one comment away from just banging my head against a wall…or maybe banging her head against a wall.”

“Have I ever told you how hot you look when you’re aggressive?” JJ commented with a small smirk, but Kiara just rolled her eyes. “So…do I get any hints on what you’re wearing tomorrow?” He asked, eyebrows raised slightly.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” She mused with a grin.

“Not even a wee teaser? Give a man something, love.”