#look i'm not gonna bother tagging everyone in this thing so just forget it okay?
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Dragon Ball Super 097
Live! At the Null Realm Fairgrounds! It’s the Tournament of Power!
80 warriors from across the multiverse slug it out! First prize: a super wish! Second prize: Death!
Plus, check out the 60′s Batmobile! On display at the fairgrounds!
And don’t forget Kids’ World, where you can meet Fred Flintstone and Spider-Man!
See KISS in a special live performance! It’s all here at the Null Realm Fairgrounds! Exit 103A off of I-69. Be there!
Okay, so we finally made it! We’re here! The part where Dragon Ball Super finally gets good. I would say “without any further ado”, but the Grand Minister makes a big entrance and insists on going over the rules one more time. So it takes about five minutes to get rolling, but this is it. The Tournament of power will start in this episode.
“Assembled gods and mortals, the Omni-Kings requested musical accompaniment for this auspicious occasion, and so we have provided it! You wanted the best, you got the best. The hottest band in the world! KISS!
youtube
I needed a gimmick for this thing, a way to raise the stakes, and this is it. While dozens of cartoon aliens and karate guys battle for their continued existence, I face a different challenge. Can I liveblog the entire Tournament of Power while also assembling a kickass playlist for the arc? A playlist made up entirely of KISS songs? I have a chemistry degree and a one million word fanfic that strongly suggests that I have no limits.
Anyway, the Grand Minister gives the signal and all these randos you’ve never heard of start fighting.
I remember during the buildup to thing in 2017, I wondered how Toei would even animate a battle royale like this. Sure, you can kind of do close-ups of just a few characters on the edge of the stage, but you have to zoom out sometime, and what happens then? Well, they solved this problem the same way Dragon Ball solves a lot of other problems: With explosions.
For the next several episodes, everybody who isn’t getting screen time in this show will be firing off huge ki blasts with little to no effect. And it’s glorious.
The Grand Zenos are blown away and we’re only a few seconds into this thing.
As for Team Universe 7, well, Gohan had a game plan, but he can only get half the team to follow it. Goku, Vegeta, 17, and 18 all rush off to fight, and Frieza decides he can’t pass up a chance to enjoy his one-day pass from hell.
From the bleachers, the gods wondered why they even bothered trying to prepare for this, which sort of proves my point about Episodes 68-96. A lot of those episodes focused on everyone talking about this tournament and preparing for it, but most of those preparations amount to nothing.
For example, there was a scene where Universe 3 showed off an enhanced fighter with special mechanical limbs designed for avoiding elimination and sweeping fighters out of the ring. But Hit wrecks that dude right off the bat.
Oh, and Basil too. Narirama doesn’t get eliminated in this episode, but it doesn’t really matter, since his whole game plan just got shot to hell. And it only took a few seconds of this episode to introduce the dude and then take him down. That other episode where he strutted his stuff was pointless.
Speaking of Basil, he manages to knock another fighter out of the ring. This is Ryelibeu, one of the few contestants who has wings and could fly under the unique conditions of the Tournament stage.
But she’s so overwhelmed by the fall that she forgets to use her wings, and so she tumbles down into the abyss until she’s suddenly teleported to the bleachers. Rumsshi is none too pleased about his team being the first to suffer an elimination, but Gowasu says there’s nothing they can do about it, which is the most Gowasu line ever. Seriously, why did he even bother fielding a team? I get the impression Gowasu would enjoy nonexistence.
At this point, the Grand Minister shows the Zenos how to use their GodPad devices to keep track of the ring-outs. Nearby, a guy in a Fred Flintstone costumes watches on as they mark off Rylibeu. Fred is eerily silent, as he isn’t supposed to say anything for this job. But if he were the real Fred Flintstone, he would surely be saying “Yabba Dabba Doo! That’s it for Rylibeu!”
Meanwhile, a bunch of guys try to gang up on Gohan’s squad, but they stand their ground and stay in this thing.
There’s not much to call here. It’s just absolute chaos. Goku really wants to pick up where he left off against Top, but other fighters keep getting in Goku’s way. When Top finally does fight back, some other guy attacks Top, so Goku’s going to have to accept the opponents that present themselves.
Goku catches a glimpse of Jiren, but before he can do anything about it, he gets grabbed by Nink, a big dope from Universe 4. Nink doesn’t seem to be long on smarts, so his plan is to drag Goku to the edge and eliminate himself and Goku at the same time. The spectators praise Nink for his smarts, as this is a great way to take out a team’s star player and gain an advantage, except, no. This is a terrible idea.
Case in point, Goku only seems to be in a pinch because he’s trying to conserve his strength. So when it looks like he’s doomed, he finally uses Super Saiyan Blue to escape, and Nink winds up eliminating himself for nothing. The problem with this sort of strategy is that U4 only has ten fighters on the board, so they can’t affort to waste them like this. Even if Nink’s plan had succeeded, that would only leave Universe 7 in a bad position. The other six teams would be just fine, and U4 would have to deal with them without Nink’s help. I don’t think that’s a bargain.
Also, U4 really had no idea what Goku was capable of, so they never stopped to consider if Goku could be eliminated this way. It’s a bad enough strategy when it’s guaranteed to succeed, but when it’s a gamble? It’s foolish.
But as Goku recovers from that near-defeat, he finds himself surrounded by Universe 9 fighters. Looks like they’ve decided Nink had the right idea, but this time they’re going to use more manpower to make it happen. What could possibly go wrong?
Meanwhile, Spider-Man is having a blast.
#dragon ball#dragon ball super#2023dbapocryphaliveblog#tournament of power#look i'm not gonna bother tagging everyone in this thing so just forget it okay?
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Stop, you’re losing me~ - two
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pairing: idol! yoongi x vet!f reader.
Words: 8,5k
genre(s): angst, hurt- comfort, slow burn, fluff, smut (+18) (not this one tho)
au(s): childhood friends - to lovers, idol yoongi, normal vet reader, entertainment industry, denial and resentment.
Episode warnings: complicated relationship with food, description of diseases, curse words, family drama, grief, loss of loved ones, damaged mental health, a LOT of struggling.
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IMPORTANT: this fic contains a lot of sensitive topics touched upon explicitly. Please, if any of the tags trigger something in you, stop reading. You are more important, and there is much more content you can consume here. Take care please! ♡
enjoy!
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main masterlist
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“Y/N, honey~”
Okay, wait. Here. It was from here where you remembered.
You were at home, in the bed that was almost yours. You cry just for that, under your sheets. Lucky you could remain silent; it was almost an empty cry at that point. Automatically, you were crying because that’s what you have to do.
You were exhausted. And you remembered having a bad feeling about all that situation.
“Not ready~”
“It's been a week.” Your mom closed the door, gently sitting on your bed and touching your back with a care that made you cry more. You were already drowning. “Did you think about a therapist yet?”
No. For a lot of things.
The first and most important is that you were already starting to improve a week ago. You haven't felt this miserable in months now, almost three. You had started to get up, eat better, and cry less. You talked, you walked, you wanted to laugh, to go out, to go back to work. Everything was fine. You didn't need a therapist.
Oh well, you did. At least you thought about going to one when you were already feeling better. You had the energy to want to be well and for this not to happen. Because the second was that now you didn't have the energy to try to lift yourself up in every way possible.
It was too heavy. But why. Why else would you have relapsed?
“How can you all be so… fine about it.” It wasn't retaliation, because everyone in that house was like that at the time, but you seemed to be the only one still there, and that frustrated you so much that it made things worse.
“We’re not.” You know. “We just know how to-“
“Live with the pain.” You end the sentence, revealing your face slowly to your mother. She looked tired and worried, but she still looked at you with love.
She brushed your hair out of your face, sighing and wiping away your tears softly. It was the only look of pity that you didn’t hate. You allowed it because you didn't have the heart to tell her that it bothered you. She was a mother; she couldn't help it.
“Your brother always told me to take care of you once he died.” She nodded, starting to cry. You haven't seen her cry in a long time. “He assured me that even if I were his mother, I would be able to understand it sooner and miss him differently than you. It's questionable, but that’s what he thought.” She took a breath, as if she had suddenly forgotten to breathe. What was he thinking when he said something like that to a mother? Many times you thought that Kija had no brains to boast about.
"'Don't let her die like this too.' " She quoted, “ ‘If I see her, whatever I end up to, I'm gonna hit her until she comes back to life." I’ll never forget how he told me that.” You smile a little. He also told you that in person days before.
“I've been remembering that non-stop all these months, but I realized that in the end, Y/N, I can't help you if you don't. Not because I don't want to; it's because I'm human, and I don't do miracles, honey.” You nodded like that didn’t hurt you, just because it was true. “I came here to let you know that we love you, we understand, and that if maybe I can’t do anything more for you, if you have a plan, I will always be here for you to help. It’s up to you from here, but you’re not alone.”
He prepared you for his death; everybody knows, what you were doing.
Why now. You were starting to make friends with the feeling that you were fine. You were in that stage of grief that isn’t too tragic.
What might have made you remember the loss as a thing in your life?
Of fucking course.
It took three days for you to use your little desire to continue like this and do something about it. Seun opened his eyes when he saw you entering the kitchen at breakfast, watching your movements cautiously.
“Where’s everybody.”
He blinks, chewing the cereal that was left in his mouth.
“All of them are in school; the rest of them are working.”
“What are you doing here, then?”
“What do you mean?”
“You still live at your parent's house without working? At 28?” He smiles. You were making fun of yourself as you said your age instead of his. He continued eating, calmer. “Embarrassing.”
“Guilty.” He says. “I needed the time, though. Things have been complicated lately.”
You looked at each other, and you thanked him for the gesture with your gaze, taking out a cup to make yourself some tea. Seun worked in Seoul. You didn't see him much, but he had been traveling home very often to see how everyone was doing in general after what happened, to see Jae too, and to be with his family more. Paradoxically, he was a lawyer, a very good and serious one, exaggeratedly contrary to what you were seeing right now, who wore a horrible duck shirt that he had worn as pajamas for as long as you can remember and always left at home, eating colored cereals in the bowl of one of your younger brothers.
When you went, nothing really belonged to you; all your things were already in your respective houses, but there was always room for you. Seun, being the second oldest, had left his room empty a long time ago, but he wore clothes that he had left in case he went.
Being there was like going back in time; you had taken your mother's clothes because you didn't go out much, and the ones you had there were no longer to your taste. The noises in the morning, hearing your mother sing from the kitchen, and seeing how they still danced together from time to time
It was nice.
You ended up eating the remains of yesterday's dinner with him at the inn, in silence. It was difficult for you to eat while like this; it was as if something in your chest prevented you from feeling any kind of human need. You left half the plate, and Seun after seeing that, took a breath.
“Eat that, and I’ll give you a prize.”
"Uh~ surprise me.”
You settled into the chair, ready to really listen to whatever it was. Seun was… you know.
“Dad asked me to take care of the garden outside.”
You frowned deeply, and you laughed because he was serious. “Great. Like when you were seventeen. I woke up with you complaining about it.” He made a face. “How would that be a prize?”
“It’s kind of fun, though. How about you come with me, hm? You don't have to do anything; eat that and just get some sun.
You didn’t eat it. But you go out still.
You didn’t even get dressed; you were still in pajamas, sitting on the grass, watching your brother cut leaves to shape bushes. Your father still took great care of that place; you could see that it was even better than before. He quite enjoyed it. You used to sit and look at him this way when you were younger.
“Didn’t know this could be emotional for you. You’re unbelievable.”
You laughed, wiping away your tears. It was stupid; you felt better, honestly.
“Sorry.”
“Sure.” He reached out to place a flower in your hair. It was small, white, the ones that fell from the tree that was right in the middle of everything. You smiled.
“How are you?”
“Better” you were, at least right now.
"Why did you get up today? What’s the occasion, hm?"
He walked away, beginning to pick up the remains on the floor. He was done.
“I just don’t want to feel terrible today.”
“Exiting.” He says this, stretching his back. “You know how hard it’s to force yourself to do that, kid? I am very happy to see you today. It's so brave of you. I'm serious.” It gave you a chill; you weren't used to hearing him talk like that. You simply nodded. “Here.” He gave you another flower; you play with it in your hands. “I'm going in to make lunch; are you coming with me? I can call you when it’s ready.
"No, I'm going to stay here."
Because it was quiet, you heard birds, and it didn't feel like your bed. You were a little desperate when your mother told you to go outside because you would feel better. The last thing you wanted was to get up, but you also hated that she was right.
You didn't open your eyes until you heard a noise that scared you, and it was almost bizarre to see Yoongi, standing with a garbage bag in his hand, looking at you without knowing what to do, giving all meaning to your search for triggers.
You blink. Maybe you were hallucinating.
Your gardens were together. His family hasn’t moved in all these years. The only thing you knew was that it was their property now, not like yours, which still rented the place. It had more floors than it used to, and instead of having old red wood walls like it used to, it was white and pretty. Yoongi had made sure that his family lived well. Many years ago, the house had been in constant repair; inside, it must have looked different too, but its patios still had no division.
Because they were neighbors, best friends, and family, sometimes they got together right there; why separate it? If they completely trusted each other, they could see each other more that way.
Why was Yoongi still in Daegu.
You couldn't find enough reasons for him to still be there. He must have been very busy doing his things, far, far from there, far from you.
And it was overwhelming to see him in that garden where you once saw him. It was difficult for you to make yourself believe that this person brought back that ugly feeling of looking like a lost cat.
You touch your chest.
He bowed. You had to cover the sun with one hand to be able to look at him better, and respond in the same way.
“You’re still here.” You say it quietly.
Yoongi had those eyes, unkind ones.
That and a sleepy look. He had always had them. If you hadn't known him since forever, you were sure that you would never have spoken to him, and if he did, you wouldn’t feel like speaking to him or maintaining any type of contact with him just because of his look. It was heavy, as if he was constantly having the worst time of his life, but by nature. His father had the same eyes and the same attitude; they communicated nothing with their expressions. At least that was what you knew—what you had stuck with.
But he looked at you in a way you didn't understand right now. That was one thing you didn't understand about the new Yoongi. Before, you used to catch him better because, although he expressed nothing with his eyes, you were the only one who could know how; you could read him in a certain way, and now he was just strange.
Softer. Almost warm but intimidating.
“Hm.” He didn’t move. “What are you doing, Park?" It was a mocking question, almost as if your brother had asked it, but with less emotion and coming from him, of course.
“Sunbathe.” You look dumb trying to look at him. The sun wouldn't let you. “It’s healthy from time to time," he tilted his head. “You need a little bit too. You’re too pale.”
He smirks, looking away, almost like taking the courage to ask. “Can I sit there, then?”
You analyzed the space with your eyes narrowed because you were trying to identify the natural division that existed between his patio and yours. Right on the floor, a few meters from you, there was a fairly thin cement line that divided the two spaces. You pointed your finger at it, moving a little closer so he could see it.
“Don't cross that line, and you'll be fine.”
Yoongi also squinted his eyes, looking at what could barely be seen on the ground. It took him a few seconds, but he managed to spot it and neutralize his gaze, lowering the hand he was using to block the sun coming from above. He snorted before approaching in silence.
You had forgotten what he looked like, and you wanted to say that during the day, with the sun on his face and casual, white clothes, he looked even better. He glows, and you want to punch him in the face.
“You don't fit in here anymore.” You said it simply. He leaned on his hands, leaning his body back, understanding that you didn't mean it with bad intentions. It was simply an observation, but he still didn't quite understand it.
“What do you mean?”
“Here, in Daegu.” He loses his eyes. “You look... expensive.”
You made him laugh unintentionally. Genuinely, he even sat properly so he could look at you. You were facing each other, a considerable distance away, divided by a line of asphalt covered by grass, but there it was.
“What?” That question makes you feel stupid.
“I don’t know, just- you look like you belong to another place. Too handsome and well dressed to be here.
“Ah~ handsome, huh?”
“Yes, Yoongi, too handsome.” It was a fact; he wasn’t stupid. He knows he’s attractive. You played with the flower between your fingers, feeling your heart begin to pound. You didn't even know why; you were sure he knew it wasn't his intention. You heard him laugh again. “You know what I mean.”
At least, you hope so.
“Maybe I don’t belong here anymore.” He says. When you looked up, he was playing with the grass between his fingers. “I don't feel welcome, either.”
“What are you doing here, then.”
He looked at you from there, raised his eyes for a few seconds, then closed them again. “I want to spend time with my family before enlisting. Hyung it’s going on his honeymoon in a few days, and... well, I'm running out of time.”
You had forgotten that.
You had to fight a lot not to ask when he was leaving, because it was two years, and although you hadn't seen him ten years ago, in a way you also had him constantly in your face, always. Now you wouldn't see him at all.
It was none of your business; why would you ask?
“That’s good.”
“You’re still living in he-?”
“Y/N, honey, hello. I thought you had returned to Busan since I didn't see you leave the house. You look tired; are you okay?”
You jumped for that.
“Hello, Mrs. Min. I’m, thank you.”
You had always been surprised by how intimidating that woman seemed to you and how much she loved you. She seemed more loving right now; maybe her age had made her softer, but in her younger days, every time she spoke to you, it was terrible for you. She always spoke to you as if she were making fun of you, with the most beautiful voice you had ever heard and the most studied words there were for a cordial conversation. Over time, you learned that it was genuine happiness, like right now.
“Then why-“
“Mom.” Yoongi stops her, and you realize.
You looked bad, perhaps unstable enough if it was at first glance. You did look tired; you hadn't slept well in months; you were still in your pajamas; and your hair was tied up. You hoped it wouldn't matter to you; you wish it were that way.
You had a flower on your head, at least.
“It's okay.” You told him, more for him than for her, and he looked at you, remaining silent for a few seconds. When you heard the woman's voice again, you were still sharing a look, surprisingly.
“Sorry. I was about to go to your house. I know your mom's working, but Seun it’s at home, isn’t he?” You finally looked at her and nodded, smiling slightly at her.
“Yeah.” It was weird, almost like she was checking to make sure you weren't alone. “Do you want me to leave her a message, Mrs. Min?”
“Oh no! It’s okay. I'll go tonight, but also," you take a deep breath. “It was just to invite you all to dinner tomorrow. Jae will be leaving in a few days, and the rest of his time will be spent with friends, so we can have dinner as a family.”
“I- don’t know. I’ll ask them-“
“I'm telling you, honey.” And you wish she didn’t. “Would you like to come? I know… You've had a tough time, and in the whole year you've been here, I've only seen you twice. We want to help.”
There it is. And just because you wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, you smiled slightly and nodded. You only had those types of reactions at the beginning, when the topic was mentioned. You hate to have them again now. It was directly a discomfort that made you want to sink into the ground because it made you cry instantly and peel off your skin in one go. It was extremely uncomfortable.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want. Just think about it, okay?”
You said your goodbyes; she kissed your forehead and left, leaving you two alone again in an awkward silence. Yoongi didn't have pity in his eyes now, but it was as if he had been reminded of something he had done wrong.
“I can tell them you couldn’t make it.”
“No need to.” You tore up the grass by a handful. Why did everyone think you couldn't do anything for yourself? “I will go. I miss your father's cooking.”
“Okay.” Another silence. “I’m sorry about that. She doesn't have any bad intentions; she cares. She doesn't even treat me the way she treats you."
You smiled a little, and for some reason, your heart started to beat less hard. Just as fast, but it didn't make you want to die. And you didn't like that.
“No problems.” You say, getting up. "It looks like I do fit in here anyway.” You shook yourself for nothing exactly; it was just to feel less uncomfortable as he watched your movements, and you looked at him as you walked to the entrance of your house. He had a lopsided smile, soft eyes, and the flower Seun had given you between his fingers. “you still have twenty minutes left.”
He smiled at you, knowing that you were running away. Still, he didn't stop you.
That was one. The next one was a little less exciting.
—
You weren’t an events' person.
Not because you felt too bad to attend social things; in fact, you had discovered that it was very efficient at not making you think too much. Being alone was the worst thing you could do, but you didn't like going. It felt almost like a charity event since Kija died; at least that's how it felt. Seun told you it wasn't like that at all, but you feel like it.
Like a charity object.
They give you extra food, extra attention, extra compliments, and the comfiest chair. And it was nice sometimes, but today you didn’t want that to happen.
"So... you want the red one or the purple one?” You held them both up, showing them to your sister in the mirror.
“What do you think?”
“I think… I like the purple one.” She didn't seem to like your decision, so you had to convince her. “ Look, it has flowers and sparkles inside. “You’ll look cool, don’t you think?”
“But it doesn't match my outfit~” Hyunji whines, and you smile, pushing away the purple hair tie to comb her hair into a ponytail again. You'd end up convincing her anyway.
“What do you mean? You have purple here.” On her shirt. It was yellow on its own, but it had purple bubbles, and even though the basic style doesn’t work like that, it seemed to make sense to her child's brain.
“You’re right… Okay!” She says, playing with her doll again.
Living with children always makes you wish life was that easy sometimes.
Hyunji has a twin too. It was because your father was a twin of another; the gene was there. They were the youngest in the family, and you had been combing their hair all year. It was complicated because every time they did it, they were together, and they reminded you of the dynamic you had had with Kija your whole life.
At that point, it didn't hurt you so much anymore. The first few times, it had been complicated for you to see, but now the other twin was in the other room, and she had no one else to talk to other than her doll. Nara, your other sister, enters the room.
“You’ll go?” You were dressed.
"Uh-hu,” you responded, checking that everything was in order in the mirror.
“Yoongi will be there.”
"I know." You spoke with the purple garter between your teeth, so your voice came out funny. “Are you going?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Yoongi will be there.” She rolled her eyes as she turned to the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub, leaning against the wall. You laughed softly.
“Not you too.”
Nara wasn't particularly a fan of his group, at least not at first. Since you hadn't been paying much attention, you didn't really know what the story was like, but apparently, she was starting to listen to them recently, and she genuinely didn't believe that this was the Yoongi she remembered. Now all her siblings were bothering her for refusing to do so.
“I didn’t know! Stop. It's almost overwhelming to see him leave the house sometimes. Last week, I met him twice! Here! In this town, Y/N! He looks like-“
“He doesn't belong in here.” You mumbled, and Nara nodded at you, wrinkling her nose.
“Nothing good ever happens here; this is too much for me.”
And for you too. But you didn’t say that out loud.
“Go on, kid. Call your sister.” Hyunji thanked you and ran off to find the other twin. You stretched your back.
“Can you tell me what happened between you two?” You scoff, sorting out the chaos you had made to find the purple ribbon in the box your mother had for them.
“Why do you want to know? It’s not that exciting.”
“There's no way.” She got comfortable, almost as if emphasizing her words. “Everybody in this family knows it's something happening to him and you, but nobody asked because they say you stopped crying about it like yesterday.” You laughed at the exaggeration. "Tell me."
“Well.” You took Ara, the other girl who had already been talking about how she wanted her hair, to sit her in the chair that you had placed on the sink counter, so you could see them better. Your mother always did it, and you didn't understand why. It was too unsafe. "The same thing as your sister?”
"No! I want them... like this.” She held up two fingers to you, and you nodded, wetting his hair and carefully untangling it. Ara liked to wear her hair long, so it took you longer, and you were already starting to get tired.
“We were friends, best friends, and things ended. That's all."
It took a second for the teen to sigh and start complaining about how little information you had given her. But you didn't like to talk about it. Not because you couldn't, but because it was something you already had behind you, very far behind. You didn't feel like it was any use to you to talk to anyone about it.
“Did you two kiss at least?"
“Yeah, we did."
Now, she looks excited.
“So you two date!”
“No. We didn’t.”
“Hm, date, but didn’t formalize anything?”
“No.”
“Friends with benefits?”
“Hm~ no.”
“Fuckbuddys?”
“Jesus Nara. How old are you? Twelve?”
She rolled her eyes, briefly looking at her cell phone”
"Haha. Why are you responding like Seun now? Don't do that; we have more than enough with one.” You responded to something the youngest was telling you, and you handed her a jar of cotton balls that she was asking for. “And I'm seventeen. “So you can tell me if you two were only fu-”
"Well, she, right here it's seven, Nara. So don’t say that ever again.” You saw her grimace in the mirror. “And we were friends. Best friends. Friends don’t- yeah.”
At least that’s what he told you. That you were friends.
“Friends don’t kiss either.”
And you told him that, too.
“I know.”
“Hm.” It seemed as if she didn't want to ask more, perhaps knowing that with the background she had, nothing could end well.
“I’m okay, though. I don't see the need to talk about it now. Yes, I suffered a lot because of it, but that's it; things are the way they are now.”
You had even realized that being around him didn't affect you like you thought. On the day of your wedding, you were sensitive; you knew it; you were predisposed to have a bad time. Now that you are at home with your family, what could go wrong?
“Do you plan to go dressed like that, then?”
“Hm?” You looked at yourself in the mirror in front of you, starting your sister's last ponytail. “What's wrong with it?”
“You’re kidding? You’re literally using mom's clothes.”
Yes, but because yours doesn’t fit in with you like they used to.
“I think it's pretty.” You defend yourself, but not really, finishing your job and taking the creature down from the inn. You heard her say thank you as Nara took your arm. "What-“
“Y/N, I won't allow you to go see your celebrity-famous ex dressed like that, without makeup and wearing ladies' shoes. You even did your hair! Come here.”
“He’s not-“
“Yes, wherever.”
She ended up dressing you in your clothes. Nice clothes of yours that you haven't worn in a while, but they made you feel pretty. Then she tried to do your makeup herself, but you knew how to do it yourself, so you ended up giving in. Your mother scolded them because they were late, and Nara left home with a smile on her face.
And you look beautiful. Yoongi thinks that when he saw you enter the house with one tween in your arms and a baby blue cardigan on you,
Of course, you were wearing baby blue.
“Do you think Seun will hit me in the face tonight if he gets drunk enough?” Yoongi asked his brother, receiving the beer he offered him. They could stop by to say hello later. The Parks had always been a lot of people; they had time to greet their parents first. Eun snorts before Jae can say anything.
“He doesn’t have to get drunk for that. You’re currently hurting the two people who matter most to him just by your existence. What do you think will happen?"
He agreed with a gesture, opening the bottle and taking a long drink. Yoongi didn't really like beer, but he would need it today.
“Well, I think,” Jae emphasized himself, shoving another beer into Yoongi's chest for him to hold. He was pulling out some to offer, he assumed. “that you can always talk to them to make them understand. Just like you did with the two of us.”
Make them understand. The problem was that neither of you seemed open to listening, which was fine, but oh well.
Yoongi had taken it upon himself all those days to fix as much as he could in that stretch of time. He had a different way of thinking and handling things, and he was too old to have unresolved issues. He didn't know if it was because he had time before he left or because Daegu and his house, his parents, and the streets where he walked for so long, dragging a useless dream, brought his emotions to the surface.
With you, it was different because he saw you, and it was difficult for him to remember all that he did wrong.
He had been thinking. Enough to have him overwhelmed in so few days, and while apologizing to Eun, for example, for having been so absent in her and her brother's lives, or to his parents, for... exactly the same thing, he saw you, and he knew that it wasn't just him who had to ask for forgiveness.
“They’re good at listening and apologizing for things they have done before. You're a lucky bastard to have to apologize to the most understanding people on earth.”
Eun had found it difficult to forgive him. She spent maybe a week talking to him, thinking about it, talking about it with Jae, and coming to the conclusion that, in fact, he had changed a lot and had given him an opportunity that he was sure he could fulfill. Yoongi was genuinely in another stage of his life, but having things to take care of was exhausting.
He realized more things that night at dinner as well. He didn't know the youngest members of the family, but they turned out to be quite shy compared to all of you, and talking to your family in general was quite easy. Not only that, but he didn't feel strange, out of place, or treated differently for who he was now; catching up with your parents and siblings was nice. Yoongi felt good”
“I would love to, Mr. Park, but I um, I return to Seoul tomorrow. I have commitments there before I leave for service.”
Nara had her birthday in a few days, and they were going to throw her a party. They were inviting Yoongi. He didn't know why his throat hurt from saying no lately. He was never a complacent person.
“Tomorrow? That soon? Will you enlist soon?”
It was impressive how those had been the first words Seun had spoken to Yoongi all night.
“No, it’s- not about that. I have work stuff. recording and practice.”
After that, he started answering questions about his life, which wasn't necessarily a bother. It was okay; he knew your family didn't have bad intentions either. He noticed it.
He also noticed that you barely touched your food.
“Can we talk?” You asked him when you were clearing up the dishes in the kitchen. ‘Sure’ and you took him outside because there was too much noise inside.
"So... you return to Seoul tomorrow."
You look disturbed, but he doesn’t hurry you.
“Hm.” He responded in affirmation. “My last concert is soon, and I have things to take care of before that.”
“Awesome.”
You look untouched by the situation. By everything. As if you were there by protocol. You hadn't laughed genuinely all night; you just smiled and responded kindly, briefly at that, knowing how much you liked to talk.
He didn't want to say that it had to affect you, but it was as if you had no reaction in your body. Quite the opposite of when he saw you at marriage, where you were with all your feelings on the surface. And he was worried. He has no right to be, though.
“I thought you missed my father’s food.” He tries, and you look confused at him.
“I did it.”
“You barely touch it.”
“Well, that’s none of your business.”
Oh, well.
You covered your face. Yoongi heard you sigh.
“Sorry.” You say.
He nodded, calm. At least trying.
“Didn’t mean to be disrespectful, either. It’s okay.”
Then he waited.
Enough. It was almost ten minutes of pure silence in which you thought about what you would say, and he smoked because you made him nervous and made him want to be doing anything but being aware that you were there.
"Okay," you say. Your words sounded loose. As if you were complaining about something. “Before seeing you that day, at the wedding," you start. “I was fine. I was feeling okay. I was- eating very well, I was starting to go out more, and I had this... silly feeling in my chest that maybe this situation wouldn't mean the end of my days, my life, and that I could do things by myself.”
Yoongi settled back in his place, attentive. It was just that he didn't understand, but he wanted to.
“I knew you would be there.”
“Yeah. Jae, he mentioned something to me.” After the weeding, of course. He would’ve liked to know that, too.
“Yes. So I mentally prepared myself for that, to see you, because it affects me to do so, and I thought I had handled it well that day. It didn't add up to me, because I spent weeks thinking about it and preparing myself for things that didn't happen and would have made everything much worse. I felt bad again, and I started to think a lot about... everything. About Kidja's death and what would happen to me without him in my life. It wasn't even about you. I had gone back to my beginning of grief, Yoongi. And I didn't understand why all the effort I had made to be well was gone so suddenly.”
He blinks. A lot of times.
“I’m- not understanding.“
“I have this theory.” Okay. “When you left, I had this same reaction. I don't really want to compare them because they are different in very big ways, but it reminded me of a lot of things, and seeing you there... I wanted to ask you not to leave. Not again, not like everyone has done it recently, so I can feel better.” His heart was a mess; this information was too much. “And it's stupid, because I don't know you, and I can't trust you, and the fact that you're here does me any good.”
“Y/N.” He insisted.
“I just want to put an end to this.” He could swear you were shaking. “Forever.”
Yoongi's head was going very fast; he felt somewhere else, something surreal. He had lived peacefully for a long time; his heart almost burst out when he heard you say a few more things, like you didn't blame him for anything, but you needed to know that he wouldn't be there anymore, and when you wished him a good life, he went a little crazy because you were leaving.
“Wait!” He was in a rush for some reason. “Just like that? May I… apologize for everything at least?”
He saw how many things went through your head, and he was desperate not to be able to know what. You took your distance before you talked.
“Yoongi, I don’t care.”
Now he was mad. You were acting like a child; resentment was speaking for you. He didn't blame you, at least not entirely, because he knew you were smarter than this. You had more valid, more accurate, and even stronger answers, but you were deciding to run away.
That wasn't what really bothered Yoongi, but the fact that you didn't tell him directly, like you would.
“If you want to live, then do it. But give me a voice too; I'm involved too.”
You snorted and crossed your arms to look at him with a smile on your face.
His blood boiled.
“You know what? Forget it. Have a good night.”
“Oh fantastic.” You move fast, getting closer to his garden but staying on the other side of the small line that divides it. Yoongi stopped, now not willing to listen to anything, nor to say anything constructive, really. “So you’re mad now?”
“It’s just—you're so stubborn! I’m trying to do something here!”
“And what do you want me to do, Yoongi?! Hug you and dry your fucking celebrity tears and tell you that the fact that you broke my heart like it wasn’t a big deal was okay? Oh, so now you want to be involved. You’re living tomorrow! And you want to fix things now? Shut up. You’re doing the exact same thing you did when you left.”
Your voice broke off as you swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat. Yoongi sighed, closing his eyes.
“We both did things wrong; I just wanted to talk about it before… that's all.”
“Everyone suddenly wants to talk about it.” It wasn't cold outside. Daegu wasn't a cold place, but you hugged yourself and cringed as if it were. “Everyone asks me what happened between us and why we stopped talking. Your father apologized to me in your place today too; he told me that whatever happened, he hoped we could fix it.”
Yes, I had told him that too, since it happened years ago, honestly.
“But I don't see any sense in it. Why talk about something that is already broken? Why do you insist? I just want to close this, okay? It was already dead; leave it like this.”
Yoongi took a moment, because it was true. But you look too real in front of him, and that makes him weak.
“So we can heal, can't we? That’s why you are doing this.” Your eyes look at him. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I had no choice.”
"Yes, you did.” You cut him off. “Do things right, or do things wrong. Those were your options. And you chose.”
Because you had always understood that he was leaving and that Yoongi had bigger things to do outside that place, and you were happy about that, but he didn't tell you until one day before he left forever.
He was completely blinded by having signed recently, by having an opportunity, by doing what he liked, and by the promises that were being made to him. Leaving everything behind, his parents, who did not believe in him, his "friends” who constantly told him that he would not make it, in that place that hurt him so much only excited him.
And unfortunately, you found yourself involved just by being part of that place.
“I know. And I’m really sorry.” You closed your eyes, and you denied it slightly. As if you didn't want to hear those words. “I understand that I made a mistake back then; I was young and dumb, and I- didn’t- I’m not the same person right now. I’m really sorry. I mean it.”
So... insignificant.
“Why.” And that was the question he didn’t want to hear. “So you can feel better about yourself, or because you're doing me a favor? Why now, Yoongi. If you hadn't seen me that day at the wedding, would you have traveled all the way here just to apologize before you left?”
No. The answer was no.
It wasn't something Yoongi thought about much. In all those years, he had convinced himself that he had done what he had done because sometimes in life, you have to be selfish to prioritize your well-being as a person. To put himself first over others because he had a dream, and fulfilling it meant sacrifices.
He hadn't done anything wrong, you know?
Now he apologized only because he saw you sick, and he felt guilty because he knew that it had affected you more than him. He was stupid because he blindly believed that the fact that he apologized would mean something less in your life, even if he didn't know how important you were to the whole thing itself. And you were sad and depressed, and you had big dark circles in your eyes, and you weren't eating well. You didn't really smile, you had a hard time getting up, and he hadn't seen you leave the house even once in all the time you had been there.
He felt responsible.
He did it because it left him and only him clean. He was being selfish.
He kept quiet. He wouldn't admit it out loud.
“I spent nine years of my life on pause waiting for you to care enough to come back to this damn city, so we could fix things. To talk about it. But that was nine years ago, and it’s a little too late right now.”
"I'm,” he stops, getting close to you, pressing his words in his throat so as not to have to raise his voice. “apologizing.”
“Well, you’re not forgiven.” He tense.
“For something I made when I was a teen? I don’t know, but you made some dumb shit back then too.
You kept quiet about that. It was true.
“You don’t seem to mind too much, though.”
“And what do you know about how I feel?”
Because maybe the fact that it didn't stop his life completely was something, but ignoring it didn't mean that it didn't hurt him either.
“Nothing.” A whisper. “I just- I don’t know, okay? But that stupid thing you did as a teen still hurts me and haunts me to this day, and you- I continued to believe that you would have the decency to come to my twin’s funeral. it’s- all that, everything, that’s just my fault.” You firmly acknowledged it. “But I would’ve to be so stupid to believe that you are still that person, because people change, and we were very young, and that’s fine, but Yoongi.” You touch his chest, or at least you had the intention because you didn't get to do it. You stopped and backed away a little. “The problem here is that you still don't care enough. You didn't even want to come here of your own free will... And that's fine, but don't come and- try to talk to me as if that were the case.
Your eyes soften, and so do Yoongi’s, because you do that when you want to cry.
When you cry, you’re completely harmless; that’s what he knows. If you cry out of anger, happiness, or even just empathy, any emotion automatically transforms into sadness. You leave yourself vulnerable; that's why you didn't allow it in arguments; it was losing instantly.
So you put yourself back together.
“That's fucked up, Min, and I don't need to forgive you to live in peace; I don’t want this; I don’t need your apologies; I don’t want to have any kind of contact with you because I don’t want you in my life anymore.”
“Then why are you still here?"
He can smell your perfume from how close you two are to each other now.
So he realizes.
It was difficult for him to have you so close. Because he felt the heat of your body, and your breathing was agitated. He remembered the touch from when he touched you at the wedding and squeezed his hand so as not to claim it again. His eyes traveled to your lips accidentally, twice trying to stop them without success, nor to his body as he moved forward, seeking to kiss you directly. He stops himself with all the strength he had and a little more, but you didn't move either.
You were both too dazed, feeling the tension in the air. As Yoongi looked at your lips again, this time closer to you, as you licked yours, trying to feel something. He breathed hard, like a bull, feeling almost dizzy. Yoongi had never wanted something so much in his life, and you weren't helping.
You looked down too, raising big eyes to the level of his before whispering, ever so slightly, to answer his question, and Yoongi couldn't believe you existed, looking like this.
He was fucked up.
“I still have a lot of appreciation for you, Yoongi.” You say. “And I respect you enough to do things right.” He closes his eyes when you distance yourself. There was nothing more to do. “I'm still here, but doing all this, doing things you don't want to do, lying to yourself, lying to me?... you're losing me.”
His eyes were wide open. You looked at him with sadness because you were crying.
“Leave it as it is, and keep the small part of me you still have with you. Because if you keep trying, I’m gone.”
And maybe that was what you both needed. A closure, a proper goodbye.
The problem was that neither of you had said goodbye, technically.
-
Big big brother, lovely and always available, Seun 💪🏻 - 1:32
‘How is it?’
‘Spooky?’
1:40
‘u’re allergic to dust, kid. You need a hand? 👋🏻👋🏻’
There were so many things you regretted in life.
One of them was to regain the closeness you had with Seun having so many brothers to choose from. Because he was sweet, yes. Maybe if you didn't have him there (knowing that you often live in fear of losing the people you love, it was very clear to you), you would miss him a lot, but he could be very annoying at times.
Don't judge yourself by the contact name by the way. He had set himself up that way, and every time you tried to change him, he found a way to make it longer.
You - 1:41
‘Sure, want you here in ten minutes.’
Big big brother, lovely and always available, Seun 💪🏻 - 1:43
‘Don't tempt meee’
‘You know I’m crazy, right?’
You stopped him immediately, telling him that you were fine, that everything looked fine, and that he shouldn't worry.
It was a two-hour trip. And it wasn't a lie that you were okay.
Moving to Busan was your idea; maybe two years before Kija relapsed and got sick, he wouldn't stop getting worse. He followed you with nothing in mind because, unlike you, he hadn’t been able to study anything. His health was weak, and that weakened his mind as well.
You wanted to get him out of that mentality, to meet people, to go out, and perhaps to look for a job that would help him understand that he could do things well. And you did it, or, well, he did. You didn't see much of the many people he had plans with; he worked in a café near your apartment that was still there; they had even remodeled it. He had a boyfriend, money; you two were together, you always laughed.
It was when you began to set up your clinic (because that was what you had gone to Busan for, aside) in the city that he began to cough very lightly, almost like a cold, and when you took him to see the place where you would start to build your first dream, he passed out at night when they were trying to clean the place. After that, he didn't stop coughing until that same cough took his breath away completely.
You thought he would get better, he looked weak but fine. He talked, he ate, and he didn't sleep as much as he does when he gets that sick. The only thing that told you that he was really struggling was the blood in his cough and that sometimes, when he got up to go to the bathroom, he would call you out of breath because just getting out of bed was too much for him. He was in serious condition, but you didn't think you would have him with you for so little time.
“Open that thing, Y/N. You have everything you need. You’re smart, you’re pretty, and your lungs work wonderfully. Sorry you don’t have any excuses.”
He spent the last days of his life there, in that apartment that you didn't want to return to, because now your whole family wasn't sleeping on the floor, nor was your mother's voice singing to him while everyone was sleeping, and he couldn't do it because the pain was killing him slowly, nor was your father offering you help to open that damn clinic.
Kija died two days before opening it, and he swore he would be there when you did. You believed him.
The door to his room was closed now. When you came into the apartment, it smelled musty, and there were many letters on the floor that were passed under the door while you were gone. His shoes were on the shoe rack at the entrance; your mother must have forgotten them when she cleaned, so you sat there when you arrived; you weren't ready.
It was when Seun spoke to you that you decided to enter the things you were missing.
And you clean the place. You dusted, packed your things, and called the clinic to inform that you were going to return to work that week. You were the boss anyway.
Maybe it was you deceiving yourself, but the more you looked for discomfort within yourself, you couldn't find it. You thought that facing that place would be more complicated, but there you were.
In Busan, and in Busan you didn't want to die.
“I trust him.” Kija could barely speak; he was intubated and medicated, sitting right where you were now, waiting for the medication to completely wear off.
You had stopped talking about it hours ago, that was when you understood that your confession had been hanging around in his head.
‘I have been thinking about Yoongi lately. I think I'll- need him when you’re gone.’
“Text him.” He told you.
You had already told him it was impossible. You had even told him possibilities of a schedule of imaginary activities that he would have at that moment.
“Kija, forget it.”
“I trust him.” He repeated. “He’ll come. He cares about you still, I know.”
You had believed him, and you had smiled slightly at the thought of a possibility.
Now you’re disappointed. It was dimly lit, it was starting to get cold, and your hands covered your face because, wrapped in, now, a gray room, you were giving Yoongi tears for the first time in years.
And Yoongi's tears were different from Kija's. They felt old, meaningless, but they weren’t automatic.
You sob, because maybe this way you could do this the last time you cry about it.
—————————•。・. ゜・。_______________
one masterlist
—————————•。・. ゜・。_______________
taglist: @constancelayon @baechugff @wobblewobble822 @honsoolgloss @alienchickenpoop @idkjustlovingbts @jjkluver7 @cuntessaiii @baechugff @junniesoleilkth
#yoongi angst#bts fic#yoongi au#yoongi fic#yoongi smut#yoongi x you#bts yoongi#min yoongi#yoongi fanfic#yoongi series#suga series#yoongi scenarios#min yoongi smut#idol yoongi#bangtang x reader#bts headcanons#bts scenarios#vet reader
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🔥🔥🔥
Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion. Bonus points if you include a topic. ( IE. shipping, roleplaying, ect. )
Okay. I struggled to come up with some topics to talk about for a while plus just issues through the entirety of this week. BUT I FIGURED IT OUT.
🔥 - PROMOS. tbh, promo's main use were to help roleplayers find other roleplayers, to spread the word about your blog and find more partners and people to make friends and broaden your experiences with learning about new and exciting fandoms. Now I just find them tedious, and annoying to make. if you aren't a popular blog the odds of your promo being reblogged and spread around is so minimal. it also just feels like clout chasing at this point. and yeah nothing wrong with reblogging your promo and having your friends hype you up, but then ppl wonder why they think the rpc is so alienating? cuz someone else will reblog their promo's expecting the same thing and they don't get it and then they feel left out. but if its just so you can get some nice thrown at you, it just feels like more clutter for my dash especially if I'm already following you. now if you're a NEW blog. if you just joined a fandom, and you want some exposure, I'm down for that because that is what a promo is supposed to be for.
🔥 - Personals. I actually like personals. sometimes personals care more about what I post than my own followers. i get ppl being upset if they reblog their threads, but liking your posts? and maybe reblogging a headcanon or something but idk i guess for me that stuff just doesn't bother me. I love when people reblog my headcanon and they agree. or they add onto it, with their own thoughts. or they tell me how much they love it. makes me feel seen. makes me feel cool. i just think people forget that tumblr is NOT a roleplay site. yes, we found a use to tailor it to our hobby, that doesn't mean everyone who comes across our blogs know that. they arent apart of our community, what makes you think they have to abide our guidelines for it? tbh, roleplayers have just gotten entitled to thinking that tumblr is supposed to bow to our whim. we share a space with non roleplayers. to demand, and just expect ppl are just going to see your rules and read them and respect it rght away?? come on ya'll. we know to look for rules cuz its what we've been doing for years, but you can't expect that from strangers who are likely mobile bound just seeing something you wrote in the tags. its gonna happen. i just dont like the mannerisms some people have with them. you dont gotta be rude about it. if its really bothering you just block them and be done. problem solved. going out of your way to make posts about how annoying they are is just unnecessary.
🔥 - duplicates. this is one is gonna get me fired but oh well. Ya'll we have GOT to love ourselves better. because it is plain and simple insecurity for why people feel they cant talk or write with duplicates. i know it does deeper in some cases, like your current partner leaving you for the shinny new roleplayer of the same muse you write. believe me I've been there. but fuck those people. when are we gonna stop letting others dictate how we feel about ourselves? i hate seeing shit when a new roleplayer pops up with the same muse and suddenly you get the vaguing posts about 'suddenly feeling very doubtful of my portrayal' like its not obvious you are threatened. and in this fandom??? we're i follow like 30 different alastors?? lucifers?? Angels"?? all different, all got something to add and share. i got news for you but your portrayal isnt the only ONE. its not the end all be all. and yes I talk to my ego all the time, cuz there are some muses i write where i'm like I AM THE GOD FATHER OF THIS MUSE. but thats me and my own pride, doesnt mean anyone else who writes this muse is less than me. or i'm suddenly less than them. and there are portrayals i dont fuck with. i simply just do not look their way. but theres always muses i love roleplaying with duplicates cuz its FUN. also being able to talk to people who love this muse as much as you?? learn to stop looking at everything like its a competition and things will not be as stressful. its what makes this hobby unfun when you let those insecurities eat you up. im not saying its not valid, and im not saying you cant be upset, but what does it really do for you? what would happen if you just went and talked to them? imagine it goes well? you make a new friend. dont deny yourself opening a door just because you are scared of what 'might' be behind it. and its something I am learning and teaching myself. our issue is we all wanna be see, and heard. we all wanna be the absolute best. we wanna have the best portrayal like this sort of acknowledgement does anything. cuz while I know ppl love my own portrayals, still doesn't change the fact that i got issues and i cry myself to sleep still. the 'love' i get on here, ain't a fix. and if you think seeking validation on tumblr dot com is gonna fix you? its not. the attention and love we seek on here is just a placeholder, its us using this as a distraction from actually fixing our problems, and turn i still see how so many of us are unhappy. let it go.
#⌜we have another caller⌟ . // answered asks#xbalayage#i love tumblr but i also hate so much about it#:D
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15 questions: Leon & Edith
AOM 15 questions continues with the first double interview (Horatio & Celia's adoptive parents). Tag: #aom 15 questions
1 - Are you named after anyone? Leon: No, not that I'm aware of. Edith: I am! I'm named after my great-aunt, who died before I was born.
2 - When was the last time you cried? [They look at each other like they're hoping the other will remember.] Leon: Midsummer? Edith: That was what I cried at, not when. But that was last week? Leon: I don't know when I last cried. Edith: You were crying at seal videos yesterday. Leon: That doesn't count. Edith: Doesn't it? Leon: [pauses like he's trying to think of a way out of this] Okay, fine. I last cried yesterday.
3 - Do you have kids? Both: We do! Edith: We have a son and a daughter, both adopted, because [she gestures between her and Leon, who is obviously not bovan] and our son is human and our daughter is ferasca.
4 - Do you use sarcasm? Leon: [sarcastic] No, never. Edith: [also sarcastic] Surely not.
5 - What’s the first thing you notice about people? Leon: Faces. I never forget a face. Edith: I'm always checking out their horns, except for everyone who doesn't have horns. Then I guess just their hair.
6 - What’s your eye color? Leon: Brown. Edith: They're brown, but they look black.
7 - Scary stories or happy endings? Edith: It's better if it's scary on the way there but still a happy ending. Leon: I don't really read for spooky stuff or happy endings per se. So, maybe both, maybe neither.
8 - Any special talents? Leon: Well, I'm a dupe witch—face specialty, if you didn't already guess. Edith: And I can tie cherry stems into knots in my mouth. [Leon looks at her straight face and laughs.] Leon: She's forgetting the part where she's not afraid of anything. I have personally seen her wrangle a venomous snake. Edith: Mmhmm, and the reason you saw it is you were gonna save me if I got bit. Leon: [shrugs] To be honest, in her place, I would have just got bit and perished about it.
9 - Where were you born? Edith: Elians, just over the mountain from Tobarsha. Leon: Myosh system.
10 - What are your hobbies? Edith: Reading, going to concerts, playing games—like, board games, but also video games, even though I'm not that good. Going for long walks around the neighborhood and bothering Leon at work. Leon: Eating celery as loudly as possible when she brings me lunch. Edith: Yeah. Leon: For me, also reading, going to the theatre, telling people the sword [he gestures to the mantelpiece] isn't for fighting, playing card games and such. Edith: Losing at poker. Leon: Shh.
11 - Do you have any pets? Leon: We used to, years ago. [He glances at Edith.] We haven't really talked about getting more. Edith: We already have one pet though. Leon: What pet? You don't mean B— Edith: Bös! It's our pet rock. [She brings back a rock from the living room windowsill.] Our son has one, and I thought it was a cute idea.
12 - What sports do you play/have played? [They give each other a look that was apparently a shared joke.] Leon: I haven't played a sport stronger than a brisk walk in years. No, wait, that's a lie. It hasn't been that long since I could be arsed to play beach volleyball for ten minutes. Edith: I used to play every kind of contact sport I could get away with. Some things are just too dangerous with the horns, though. But anything that involved running around outside and climbing trees was my favorite.
13 - How tall are you? Edith: 5' 5". Leon: 5' 7". We've reached our shrinking era.
14 - Favorite subject in school? Edith: Mm…whatever they called the ecosystems class, because they'd always take us on field trips up the mountain, or to the middle of the woods. Leon: Would you believe I hated literature class in school? I liked history, at least as long as we were talking about the launch era. Believe it or not, I was not alive for that.
15 - Dream job? Edith: My dream dream job is something cool, like a sail racer or a park ranger. But I did really enjoy being a teacher before I retired. Leon: I think the job I have now has sort of turned into my dream job, because I just love talking about poetry. But I don't know. If I could be like my son and have a poetry shop somehow, that might be it.
*Bös means rock in the local language.
#they're 70-something and have literally never been normal about each other#I love them so much#launch era was about 100 years ago#c: Leon#c: Edith#wip: aom#15 questions#aom 15 questions
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The Skateboarder
Female reader x Female orc (Morn)
Citrus rating: Lemon
Content: brief alcohol, stupid memes
Words: 9k
Morn reached between the legs of some intertwined partygoers, retrieved a beer from the strategically placed cooler, then opened it on the strike plate of the living room door. Some of it foamed out and fell on the carpet with the bottle cap but she didn't seem to care. The owners of the sorority house didn't care either.
"...so yeah, she said I stank and got up and left." Morn finished her tale of an attempted one-night stand.
"She didn't even touch you yet?" You asked, leaning in close so she could hear you over the thumping music. As was usual for parties like these, you and Morn had carved out a corner where you could be ignored by everyone else and gossip.
"Well, yeah, but not below the belt. That's what pissed me off. She was all over me all night and as soon as I say I want her to go down on me, she insults me and leaves."
"I mean..." you grinned, unable to resist, "did you stink down there, though?"
Morn punched your shoulder and chuckled.
"Fuck off, it's not like roses and daffodils are the norm. You know, it's like I always say..." It was Morn's turn to grin mischievously.
"Don't fucking say it. I swear to God, Morn. I'm going to laugh really hard and everyone's going to look at me weird. " You pleaded. You knew what would come next; Morn's favorite turn of phrase that she managed to use more often than one would think.
"—like I always say, good pussy smells like the heat coming out of the PS4."
You were true to your word. As you caught your breath between peals of laughter, a few partygoers did in fact stare at you. Despite your prior protests, the stares didn't bother you that much. Here in Morn's gossip corner, all that mattered was whiling the time away until the other half of your group was ready to leave. Dera's whereabouts were unknown but Lash was visible in the corner of the room.
"Looks like Lash's plan is all coming together." You noted. Morn turned to look as well; she was aggressively making out with an Elf boy. He licked her tusks. You grimaced.
"Goddamn. When Lash wants something she gets it."
"She mentioned that guy... what, like, yesterday?" You asked. "From staring at him across the classroom to heavy petting in less than twenty-four hours. That's a new record."
"Makes me feel like I'm not even the same species," Morn complained, finally turning away from Lash's public display of affection. "I know Orc boldness is a stereotype but it's not one I'd mind living up to."
"That's not Orc boldness, that's Lash boldness," you chortled. "Don't be down on yourself for not having it. Besides, she's not looking for a one-night deal; if that Elf doesn't call her back tomorrow she's gonna have her week ruined."
"I guess that's true..." Morn sighed.
"Morn." You firmly squeezed her shoulder and stared at her. "I love Lash to death, but you've never called me at three in the morning crying over the end of a week-and-a-half-long relationship. It's okay to not be dating a new person all the time."
"Yeah, I know." She finished her beer and smiled a bit.
"Besides, if you were hunting down an object of desire every time we were at a party, I'd have no one to chill with. Morn's Gossip Corner is the only thing getting me out of the dorm on Friday nights."
"I'm glad to be of service." She dramatically saluted. "You're right, though. I guess it's just the party atmosphere that makes me forget sleeping around and dating have drawbacks."
"Definitely the party vibe getting to you," you affirmed. "Speaking of sleeping around, though... where's Dera?"
"If I had to guess, upstairs. Text her." Morn suggested.
You pulled out your phone and opened the group chat, aptly titled "THA HOOLIGANZ 👩💻👩✈️👩⚕️🕵️♀️" and sent a message:
You: dera where tf are u, its almost been an hour
Almost immediately the indicator that Dera was typing popped up, followed by her reply:
Dera: upstairs. firbolg football player. huge 🍆
"Oh, god." You gagged. Morn pulled out her phone in response to see the cause, then had a similar reaction. She started tapping away at her phone's keyboard.
Morn: damn, dera, chill. we just wanted to make sure you were ok.
The typing indicator preceded yet another reply from Dera.
Dera: lol ok mom
"She's got an attitude tonight, sheesh." Morn shook her head and put her phone away.
"I think tonight an early exit might be a good idea. Dera and Lash seem pretty occupied," you said. You couldn't find Lash or her Elven paramour in the room anymore.
"I think you're right. Text the group and tell 'em we're leaving."
You nodded and did so, receiving 👍 responses from both Dera and Lash after a short pause.
"Let's go." You got up from your place on the sunken-in couch and helped Morn up. The two of you navigated through the fire code-violating sorority house to the front door, where you met the cool night air and the odor of cigarettes. Morn's skateboard was next to yours, propped against the thick trunk of a long-dead tree.
"I don't wanna go back to the dorms yet. It's not that late," Morn said, checking her watch.
"Pizza?" You suggested.
"Pizza."
Before long you were both skating into the night. The entire university town was built into the side of a mountain with the greek life houses at the top, making it a breeze to fashionably exit parties like this one. There were a few drunken revelers to dodge on the way down, but once you cleared the sororities and fraternities it was smooth skating. The incandescent streetlights flew past as century-old houses gave way to newer corner stores and parks. Before long, you and Morn were skating through the thick of the city on a course set for Main Street.
The pleasant sound of plastic wheels on stamped concrete was soon married with the aroma of cheap, indulgent pizza. You wouldn't have needed any senses other than smell to know you arrived at your destination: "Get Stuffed," the type of place where a slice was a dollar and you could write on the walls. As was usual for the time when Friday became Saturday, it was packed with the university crowd; too packed to even sit inside.
You and Morn shimmied to the counter and ordered your usuals. Fortunately, Get Stuffed had nailed speedy service and it was only a few short moments before you were on your way out with greasy pizza on flimsy paper plates. You set your skateboards on the curb and sat on them, side-by-side.
"Thanks for fleeing with me," Morn said, folding her slice of pizza and tucking her loose black curls behind her ear.
"Anytime, Morn." You mimicked her pizza fold before noticing something about the beanie she wore. It was oddly familiar, so you delayed your first bite. "Hey, where's that beanie from?" Morn looked at you, chewing.
"This thing?" She tugged at the chunky burgundy yarn. "You should know."
"I should know?" You mused, finally chewing on your first bite of pizza. It was just as greasy and gratifying as you expected it to be. Then, as realization dawned on you, it almost fell out of your mouth. "You kept that thing for this long?!"
"Of course. It's a good beanie. It's lasted... what, since second grade?" She smirked. "It's one of the best birthday gifts I've gotten. Thanks, by the way."
"Thank you for holding onto it," you countered. "The memories... wow."
"That was the birthday party where we had a sleepover afterward. We played tag, and—"
"Oh, no," you moaned, remembering.
"...you ran so hard that you threw up." Morn giggled. Your cheeks still burned at the vivid memory. You almost forgot crocheting Morn's beanie, but you never forget throwing up at someone's birthday party.
"It's crazy we've been friends for so long." You gracefully changed the subject and started working on your pizza slice in earnest.
"It's not that crazy. You've always been there for me."
"I mean... I try..." you were hiding your blush, feeling warm as Morn readied to shower you with compliments.
"Like the time Chrissie Becker rejected my invitation to prom. You started crying when I started crying, and I hadn't even told you what happened yet." Morn giggled warmly. "Or when our families went camping together and you let me share your sleeping bag when I forgot mine."
"I couldn't just let you sleep on the ground!" you sheepishly defended yourself against the flattery.
"Even though you knew I kicked in my sleep." Morn looked up from her plate and smiled at you, her tusks glinting under the streetlights.
"You're more important to me than my shins," you said quietly.
"Hah!" Morn laughed heartily, bumping her skateboard into yours and wrapping an arm around you. "You're more important to me than my shins."
In Morn's embrace there on the sidewalk, you melted. She had such a way of effortlessly making you feel safe and loved. She had been there for you as well several times and was damn good at it. You enjoyed the feeling so much that you just sat there quietly until she got a little worried.
"Hey, did I tease you too much?" Her wry grin had been replaced with a slight frown and sympathetic brow.
"No, no..." you reassured her, savoring the dreamy feeling. "It's all good. I'm glad you're here with me. I'm glad we're... friends," you stumbled a bit over the last word.
"Me too," she gave your shoulder a little squeeze.
You both finished your pizza in silence, enjoying each others' side and the ambiance of the city street. After a moment you both tossed the greasy plates into a trash can and skateboarded back to the dorms. The courtyard was where your paths diverged, and after bidding one another goodnight and farewell, you parted. You shared your bed that night with a familiar feeling. Embarrassment, shame, and maybe even guilt. All for the way your heart skipped a beat when she put an arm around you, or the unstoppable smile when she recounted her memories of you. You weren't super familiar with love, at least not in the way Lash and Dera were, but the way Morn made you feel in recent months was more than simple friendship. You agonized over the thought that she wouldn't return those feelings. It was a miracle you managed to sleep at all.
Saturday morning arrived, and with it, a text. You groggily pulled your phone into bed with you to read it after rubbing the sleep from your eyes. It was from THA HOOLIGANZ.
Dera: hey sorry about my sass last nite. i figured y'all left early and that's cool, i was kinda doing my own thing anyway
Lash: LOL sameeee. anyway, does anyone want to meet up for coffee or something? i’d rather be hungover around you guys than my parents 😭
You considered the offer; it would be nice to actually see Lash and Dera after missing them last night. Your moment on the curb with Morn still bothered you, and a distraction from that would be nice.
You: im down, where u wanna go
Dera: u know that cute little cafe on that corner? main street i think?? the one thats literally 100% pink???
Morn: you're thinking of tokidoki cafe! i'm down to go, that’s my spot!
You sighed. This outing wouldn't be very good for distracting you from Morn if Morn was seated across from you.
Dera: thats the one. lets gooooooo
Lash: yes. literally right now. start running
Morn: thanks, but I think I'll skate there. see y'all in a bit
You: same
The morning air was crisp and cool in the way spring mornings always were. It was a shame Lash and Dera were too busy downing aspirin and chugging water to truly enjoy it. Your skateboard served you well as a means of transport on mornings like this; you and your friends were the rare few students who didn't usually sleep in on Saturdays, so you enjoyed the empty sidewalks. The soft plastic wheels gripped the concrete well enough to accommodate any street corners.
The cafe was 100% pink, as promised. The sweet, pillowy smell of crepes mingled with the robust aroma of coffee and met you as you hopped off your skateboard. The tiny size of the place made it easy to tell you were the first to arrive. You ordered the latte-crepe combo that took up the most space on the menu and sat while you waited. You were idly scrolling through your phone when you heard the rhythmic thumping of a skateboard wheels on slabs of sidewalk.
She looked painfully good as she stepped through the cafe's front door. The morning sun made her long black hair golden around the edges and she still wore that damn beanie. Her tusks poked out from her smiling lips when her eyes met yours. Illuminated by sunbeams, her well-toned arm showed every muscle and vein as she gripped her skateboard by the trucks to carry it in.
"Good morning!" she beamed at you. The employee behind the counter smiled at her knowingly.
"The usual, Morn?" he asked.
"Yep!" She quickly answered before sitting across from you, the pins on her denim jacket jingling. "You got here quickly."
"Yeah..." you answered weakly, your conversational skills still recovering from the way Morn held you last night.
"You weren't drinking last night, were you? You alright?" Of course, Morn immediately picked up that something was the matter. It would be stranger if she didn't.
"I'm fine. Where are Lash and Dera?" You deflected. As if on cue, your phone buzzed. THA HOOLIGANZ chimed in.
Lash: lol srry, throwing up. cant make it
Dera: yeah same.
"Unbelievable. Those girls can't seem to show up anywhere lately." Morn had a slightly disapproving tone. She tapped away on her phone.
Morn: this is going on your attendance sheet
Lash: see u in detention, dera
Dera: enjoy your crepes you two!
You chuckled at the exchange.
"That's more like it. I like when you smile." Morn chimed in. "Do more of that."
The waiter saved you from needing to respond by stopping at your table with your orders. A steaming, folded crepe landed before you covered in a sauce just as pink as the rest of the cafe. A warm latte arrived with it and you wrapped your hands around the warm mug. It soothed you a little.
"Morn..." you began, not quite sure what you were going to say. Was this it? Were you going to lay your feelings on the table right here, right now?
"What is it? You can tell me anything." Morn leaned in over the table. "I can tell something's been bothering you lately."
You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. You didn't even know how to begin; should you preface it with an apology? Some sort of explanation or disclaimer?
"I don't even know if I can tell you. Like, if I can get the words out," you said before sipping your latte. You savored the taste, hoping the espresso would ground you somehow. At the very least you wouldn't be expected to talk with your mouth full.
"There's no rush. I just... I want to help. I've known you long enough that I'm sure there's something I can do." Morn hadn't even touched her crepe yet.
"Let's just, um, eat." You answered.
"Good idea. I'm sure you'll feel like yourself once you've eaten and the coffee starts kicking in." Morn nodded to herself, cutting open her fruit-filled crepe. You similarly started to work on yours. The two of you ate in silence and, for a moment, you did feel better. Fully focusing on the aromas, flavors, and textures of your breakfast stilled your trembling hands. The slightest bit of confidence grew within you halfway through the meal.
"I... um..." the words slowly formed in your mouth. Morn paused, setting down her fork and knife and looking at you intently. "I fell in love. With someone I don't think I should be in love with."
Morn listened but said nothing. She was thinking.
"How do you know it's love?"
"What?" you asked.
"How do you know it's not just a crush? Or, you know, lust?" Morn inquired. You considered the question carefully. Memories of platonic cuddles, impromptu sleepovers, and late-night conversations with Morn came to mind.
"It's love because it's lasted way longer than any crush. I trust this person, and they trust me. I'm not like Lash, pining for the new guy from across the classroom; I know this person really well."
"I see." She paused again. "Why would it be bad to love them? Wouldn't a good history make a romantic relationship easier?"
"Only if they felt the same way..." you sighed and nestled your head in your elbows.
"Ah, right..." Morn looked sheepish. "Well, personally—and I do mean personally, so it might not apply to them—if I had a long-time friend that I had feelings for, I would just tell them."
"Really?" Your eyes widened.
"I mean, yeah. If I and this person had such a long history of trust, then I would trust them to still be friends with me afterward if they didn't feel the same way. I'm sure it would be awkward for a while, but I really don't think it would be, you know... destructive or anything."
More memories came to you. More times where you felt completely open and vulnerable with Morn, and when she did with you. Times when you comforted each other and shared secrets under blanket forts and playground swings and gymnasium bleachers. Words formed inside your mouth, desperate to make themselves known to the world. Perhaps now would become another one of these memories. You'd look back on it in the future and remember the smell of pink crepes in the pink cafe.
"Morn... I have these feelings for you. I'm talking about you."
You fought the urge to cover your mouth, and you didn't stutter or stammer in the slightest. Though working up the courage was difficult, letting the words go was one of the easiest things you had ever done. Morn didn't react much; an eyebrow rose slowly as she finished chewing. The silence was agonizing.
"I'm happy you trust me enough to share that with me," Morn said calmly. You wanted to shout that's all?! but held your tongue. She took a sip of her latte, clearly in no rush to say more.
"So..." you began, well and truly lost. All your effort had gone into mustering courage and now you had nothing left. Even your anxiety and worry had gone, and you were strangely content, though eager, to hear Morn speak.
"So..." Morn parroted, "does that mean you want to... you know, date me? Like, romantic dates, not besties dates. Kissing dates."
Again, your impulses screamed duh!
"Um, yeah..." you said sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck. "I'd like that, but... only if you'd like that too."
She sipped her latte again, still calm.
"You know, over the years, I've imagined what we would be like if we were romantic with each other. Like, girlfriend-girlfriends. How could I not? We've known each other for so long."
You nodded, bidding her speak more.
"I never knew you wanted that. I can't imagine how you felt; I could tell something was wrong but I couldn't figure out what." Morn set the mug and her cutlery down, intentionally and warmly looking you in the eye. "I think...
You didn't even breathe.
"I think we should give it a shot." Morn smiled widely. "Does that sound good to you?"
"Yes, yes it does," you finally drew breath. If Morn was feeling a similar tumult of emotions that you were, she was hiding it considerably well. Morn wiped her lips and tusks with a napkin and got up from the table.
"Well, I've got to visit mom and pops tonight, but we've still got Sunday tomorrow. How about we have our first real date then?"
"Uh, sure!" You sat there, dumbfounded. Was it really going to be this easy?
"Cool. I'll let you pick where we go, just like most of our... non-date hangouts," she said, turning to the cashier. She gestured widely to the table. "Put it all on my tab."
"You have a crepe tab?"
Morn chuckled. Making her way to the door, the sunlight caught her hair and skin deliciously.
"I'm a regular. Anyway," she grabbed her skateboard, "see you tomorrow?"
"See you tomorrow." You answered. She gave you one last toothy grin and stepped out before gliding out of sight, disappearing past the edge of the window. You rested your chin in your hands and sighed like a lovestruck teenager in a coming-of-age movie. Before long, your window-gazing session was interrupted by an employee.
"All done, ma'am?" he asked politely.
"Uh, yes. Sorry, I was spacing out."
"No, it's all good. Thanks for coming by, and if you don't mind me saying..." he looked somewhat pensive.
"What?"
"Don't tell Morn I said this since she's proven that she could snap me in half like a twig, but... speaking as the crepe guy she visits several times a week, I think she's a good match for you."
"But you've never met me before. Maybe once or twice, but—"
"She's told me all about you. All good things, don't worry. It's less about you and more about how Morn talks about you. She gushes when she mentions you, seriously." He paused awkwardly then started to clean up the table. "I've said too much."
"No, thank you," you said. "It's good to know."
"Glad I could help. Anyway... um, thanks for coming in." He waved at you as you got up and left. You nodded and made your exit.
Back at your dorm, you couldn't decide if you wanted to pace or lay in bed and kick your legs. You had so much energy inside you, trapped. It was equally nervous and thrilling. You wondered how Morn kept herself so well composed; something in the back of your mind nagged at you, wondering if it was because she didn't really feel that strongly for you. Enough, you thought to yourself. Morn was your best friend for almost as long as you could remember. She wouldn't toy with you like that. Hell, she explained her entire thought process on the topic before you even confessed to her.
You decided to pace to distract yourself. Those thoughts weren't helpful. Right now you had to choose a place for your first officially non-platonic date. It was never this hard to pick a place to hang out with Morn before...
Then, an idea. It sprung into your mind out of nowhere, and it just felt right. You made sure that the place was open on Sunday, checked the ticket prices... it was perfect. You readied your phone to text Morn the details... but Lash had already sent you a private message. You opened the notification.
Lash: yo how did crepes go?? sorry i no-showed
Your brow furrowed a bit. Lash's random interest was a bit strange, even more so since she was hungover. A dehydrated, vomiting Lash was bedridden for a good half-day in your experience.
You: the cafe was cool! the crepes were good
Unsure if you should be forthcoming about your new development with Morn, you figured they could find out tomorrow once your first "real date" was underway. A change like that would likely be a big deal in your friend group, so a text message wouldn't do the announcement justice anyway.
Lash: how's Morn?
You: shes fine? did something happen??
Lash: no lol, just wondering lol
Two "lol" in one text? You wanted to indulge your suspicions and investigate further, but you decided to leave it at that. You had a date to arrange.
You: still at your parents' place?
Morn: yeah, I'll be back in town tomorrow though
You: k, cool. does meeting at the aviary at 2pm work?
Morn: yeah definitely! what made you pick the aviary?
You: idk if you remember, it was so long ago, but it was the first school field trip we went on as friends
There was a pause as Morn's typing bubble hovered on your screen.
Morn: 😭OMG YOURE SO CUTE IM GONNA CRY😭
Morn: i cant wait to see you tomorrow!!!
You: me too 💕
Your phone landed on your bed with a thump and that nervous energy returned with a vengeance. More pacing, more leg-kicking, even some giggles. This situation felt both extremely real and like a scene from a movie; you never imagined this sort of thing happened in real life, especially in yours. Against all previous expectations, things were going fine. It was thrilling, scary, and made your heart race, but it was going fine. The homework you had to do took a back seat to your excited daydreaming and scheming about tomorrow. You thought about how you would greet her, how you would hug, if and how you would go for a kiss, walking while holding her hand... predictably, sleeping that night was incredibly difficult.
In the morning, you finally executed the plans you fantasized about prior. You decided to err on the side of being overdressed, picking an outfit that wasn't formal but still a little more special than what you would usually wear. You showered, brushed your teeth, swished some mouthwash, and even flossed! Breath mints, a small assortment of Morn's favorite snacks, and an extra water bottle found their way into your bag. If you were going to overthink, then you would take advantage and be overprepared as well. Squeaky clean, dressed to impress, and with a heftier bag than usual, you skateboarded down to the aviary intent on arriving ten minutes early.
The journey was uneventful save for your steadily increasing heart rate. By the time you were waiting for her by the entrance gate, you were fully flustered. You stood still with a kind smile on your face, but anything more complex would have been asking too much of you. The mental rehearsal in your mind's eye ran over and over again: smile, say hi, hug. Smile, say hi, hug. These were all things you had done with Morn before, but with platonic intent instead of this newfound "why not?" intimacy. With how calm and composed Morn had appeared throughout this whole process, you felt as if you were at a disadvantage somehow. You worried in a juvenile sort of way that she was too cool for you.
The way she pulled up to the aviary in her car didn't help that worry at all. Her ride, an old, angular, black thing that roared like a beast, was her pride and joy. She had practically built the thing herself with the number of parts she swapped out of it. It was fully manual and she had the skills to maneuver it gracefully into the parking space. Out from it stepped your actual, honest-to-god, bonafide date.
She smiled at you and your brain melted. You held up a hand in a sort of mellow wave, offering a faint grin. By the time she closed the distance, your simple three-step plan was gone with the wind. Luckily she also decided that greeting with a hug was the correct choice and you were in her embrace quickly. You paused before realizing you should probably return the gesture and wrap your arms around her as well.
"It's so good to see you! You look great," she said, pulling away and looking you over.
"You too..." you breathed, taking your own chance to get a proper look. Her outfit was just as sleek and dark as her car: a pair of black jeans with accompanying boots, a matching leather jacket, and of course, that classic burgundy beanie to top it off.
"Shall we?" She extended a green, competent hand to you. She wasn't wearing her driving gloves today, which was good for your composure; otherwise, you would have well and truly swooned. You accepted her grasp and she gave your hand a firm squeeze before strolling with you to the ticket booth. Thanks to your student IDs, you got in with discounted admission.
The aviary itself was fairly large, and on this particular Sunday, you and Morn practically had the place to yourselves. Other than the idle chatter of a few other scattered visitors, there was only the sound of wind in the leaves and bird calls. The two of you meandered between the exhibits, chatting but not about much in particular. Instead, you were simply content to enjoy each other's company and look at the birds. The birds liked looking at you, too; at one point a pair of free-roaming peacocks followed you and Morn around the aviary.
"Looks like it's a double date," Morn quipped, gesturing to the two plumy birds. They were both mostly brown and lacking the massive, fan-shaped tails.
"They're a pair of girls too. Male peacocks are the ones with the crazy feathers," you noted.
"It's almost like having Lash and Dera tagging along." Morn chuckled. "In fact, if they keep failing to show up these birds would make good replacements."
You looked at the two peacocks, who had started preening each other's feathers.
"Do you think they're besties or girlfriends?" You playfully asked. "That's some pretty intense preening."
"Maybe they're both, like us." Morn wrapped an arm around you and offered you her shoulder. You melted again. "If you had feathers, I'd be preening you right now."
"If I knew how to return that compliment, I would." You said, deliciously rattled by her closeness and warmth.
"I have an idea... if you're cool with it." Morn kept holding you close, turning to make eye contact with you. You faced her and realized how close you were. Trapped in her gaze, you couldn't speak. You gave a faint nod.
The first thing you felt was her tusks on your cheeks. They met the corners of your mouth, pressing gently just before her lips met yours. In reality, the kiss was a quick peck. In your mind, time froze. You could no longer hear the birds calling or wind blowing, only the sound of your heart beating like a drum and a feeling like fire in your chest. Morn pulled away from the kiss with a sheepish smile.
"Sorry if my tusks poked you. I'm still getting the hang of that."
"Hey, practice makes perfect, right?" you let slip with a suaveness that surprised even you. Morn's eyes widened in surprise before she let out a hearty laugh.
"That's the spirit!" She cheered, squeezing you hard. "I'm gonna hold you to it, so be aware: I'm gonna kiss you a bunch more before we're out of here."
"That's fine by me." You couldn't do anything else but giggle. Morn gave you another peck immediately after, angling her head a bit so her tusks didn't have such a lead on her lips. Your first kiss with Morn was perfect as far as you were concerned, but this second one was a bit more graceful.
"Better?" she asked.
"Better."
Your stroll through the aviary continued in this fashion: chatting about this and that, generally gushing about each other and punctuated by more quick kisses. It was strange to have a first date with someone that you knew so well, but you weren't complaining in the slightest. Each kiss felt natural and fun, not nerve-wracking and awkward as in the dates of your past. Before all this, you scoffed at yourself for wishing that there was a switch you could toggle to go from best friends to girlfriends, but so far it seemed to work precisely like that.
To the sound of your giggling, the sun was poised to set soon. The aviary closed early because it was Sunday, and you found yourself with Morn leaning against the gleaming hood of her car. You saw your reflection in it, the two of you framed by the orange sky. She came to your side, attaching to you like a magnet.
"It's probably time we headed home, huh?" she suggested.
"Yeah, probably," you replied reluctantly. "I almost don't want it to end."
"It doesn't have to." Morn smiled. "Did you really think I'd kiss you goodnight and leave you on the curb?"
You giggled. That would certainly be the plan for a first date with a stranger, but this was Morn.
"You could come by and hang out with me in my dorm for a bit?" she asked.
"I'd love to." You answered. Her dorm building and yours were right next to each other, after all. She stood up from the hood of her car and opened the passenger side door, offering the seat to you. Not long after stowing your skateboard in the trunk, you were cruising through the city streets bound for the university. Morn's focus made the ride a smooth one, her hands expertly gripping the steering wheel and gear shifter. She wore a focused but pleased expression as she deftly maneuvered the growling vehicle.
"Oh!" Her concentration broke. "We should get food! We haven't eaten at all."
Tires squealed as she veered right, making a turn she wasn't expecting to make. You gripped your armrest and giggled. The engine roared and, within moments, delivered you to a drive-through whose location Morn seemed to know by heart. She was so familiar with it that she blew past the lit-up menu and instead went directly to order.
"Don't worry, I'll get you something you'll like." She reassured you before making it out of the drive-through, takeout bag in hand, in record time. The bag landed in your lap and delicious smells wafted from it. You were tempted to peek inside and sample its contents, but even while entranced with Morn's driving skills you knew eating in her car was a no-no. Untoasted Pop-Tarts during a late-night study session on her bed were okay but her car was like a temple. You folded the top of the bag to make it easier to resist the temptation.
After she had parked and gotten out of the car, you followed her with takeout bag in one hand and skateboard in the other. This late on a Sunday night, the sky was a deep navy. Stark white light from the lamp posts illuminated the web of pathways that connected the dorms, parking lots, student union, and myriad other places you'd typically skateboard solo to.
A few beeping locks later, you made it to Morn's dorm room. Like yours, it was spartan and tiny, but it belonged to her and her alone. You set the bag down on the solitary table and determined to chow down, but Morn caught your attention. She sat on the twin-sized bed that you had shared with her many times before; platonically, of course. She had an expression that you couldn't quite decipher.
"You okay?" You asked, not sure where to begin.
"I'm great, actually," she said, brushing her hair out of the way so she could look at you. "Sorry if I overdid it with the kisses earlier—"
"You didn't," you interjected.
"I just... It felt great to kiss you. I don't know if it's just my nerves, or the newness of it all, or something else, but... I'm kicking myself for not making the first move on you sooner." She looked away, blushing a forest green on her cheeks. You sat next to her on the bed before she could say anything more.
"Hey, don't feel bad just because I was moping for a bit. The fact I was so worried is proof that you can't really know how someone feels about you until you ask. Even if you were friends since forever ago." You reversed the usual arrangement by wrapping your arm around her. She chuckled softly.
"I can't believe I was stressing myself out over random sorority chicks at parties rejecting me. Being with you just feels so much better than the dating apps and the parties and shit like that," Morn sighed. "I know it's technically only our first date but I really think we're something special."
"We are special," you held her tighter, "we went on our first date after... what, a decade and a half of knowing each other? That kind of history sure beats cheesy Tinder pick-up lines."
"Sure does," Morn punctuated her sentence with a kiss. Instead of giving you a quick peck, she pressed her lips into yours even harder. Within the privacy of her dorm room, your heart fluttered at the notion of Morn being able to do whatever she wanted to you. You felt the beginnings of her tongue at your lips, then she pulled away and took a deep breath. Her face was inches from yours as you caught your breath.
"I really like kissing you," Morn uttered. "Now that we're alone... are you okay if I really kiss you?"
"Really kiss me?" you teased. She got even closer.
"Please?" She played along with her best begging tone.
"Go ham." She kissed you again, giggling at your choice of words with her lips pressed against yours once more. She immediately cradled your head in her strong hands, gently placing you into a reclining position. There wasn't much room, but she managed to fit alongside you in the twin-sized bed all without breaking the kiss. You opened your eyes after pulling away to breathe, and all you could see were her dandelion-colored irises.
"I'm gonna go again," She said, smiling. "I just had to get a good look at you first."
"You can do whatever you want, Morn." You grabbed her arm and placed her hand on you. "Just don't keep me waiting."
Morn kissed you hard for the third time, the hand you held now caressing your body ravenously. As her tongue gently played at your lips, her hand found its way to your chest and played with your breasts. She hardly gave you time to gasp, coming back to your mouth with fervor. Her tongue met yours in earnest now, both of you closing the space on the bed between you. Her body flush with yours, you could feel every muscle as she held you close.
You felt one of her legs settle in between your thighs, and you whined into her mouth as she teasingly rubbed you against it. Even fully clothed the sensation was electric, no doubt due to the person giving it to you. Many nights alone had involved fantasies just like this. Now they were coming true.
Desperately, you began grinding yourself against her leg. You chased the sensation as far as you could, moaning into Morn's kiss. Just as you felt yourself approaching the edge, she removed herself from you. Her leg pulled away and the kiss stopped. You opened your eyes, bewildered. Morn had gotten off the bed and kneeled just next to it, her eyes level with your aching need. She grabbed the waistband of your bottoms before looking you in the eyes again.
"You said you didn't want me to keep you waiting," she grinned, tusks glistening. "This okay?"
"It's more than okay... stop teasing me!" You whined. She nodded, pulling your bottoms off entirely before hovering in between your legs. You could feel her breathe on you through your underwear. God, she was so close; you twitched with each puff of warm breath. Her tusks brushed against the inside of your thighs. With a tentative finger she eased your underwear out of the way, gently planting kisses all around your bare mound. She held your legs in place as they twitched and reacted to her electric touch. She deliberately avoided your tender nub with her warm lips. She was playing with you.
"Morn, please," you begged. She paused to look up at you and give a toothy grin.
"You're so cute when you're frustrated," she teased, quickly going back for more. She felt unimaginably warm against your already hot entrance. It wasn't unlike all those other times you melted at Morn's touch, only now it was so intense you couldn't help but let out gasps and squeaks. She held nothing back this time. Hungrily, she lapped at your slit, each lick finishing with a flourish on your sensitive little nub. You mewled in time with her curling tongue.
"Oh! That's— ah! So good!" You moaned, your back beginning to arch as you squirmed around on the mattress.
"You flatter me," Morn uttered between licks, looking proud. You saw something in her eye before she let go of one of your thighs and brought her hand to your entrance. Her tongue didn't let up at all as she slowly introduced one of her substantial fingers. It fit comfortably inside you at first, but you gasped hard when it started moving. Morn added another soon after, stretching you deliciously.
"I'm gonna come if you keep that up," you panted, your face burning red and lungs desperate for air.
"My pleasure," Morn said before redoubling her efforts. Her fingers curled inside you, making a "come hither" motion that made your hips rock. By this point, Morn's tongue had trouble staying on you as you writhed. You gasped with every finger curl, well and truly lost in the heat of the moment.
"Ah! Morn!" You cried, rocking yourself against her fingers desperate for more. She gave up on trying to lick your nub, instead palming one of your breasts with her other hand and pinning you to the bed. With the new leverage, she worked your insides with her fingers, pumping them in and out of you with her muscular arm. You could see sweat beading on her taut green skin.
"Come for me. I wanna see you come," Morn urged. You could do little else but cry out and oblige her. Your body spasmed hard as you cried out gibberish interspersed with her lovely name. Her fingers didn't stop rubbing against your inner walls, leaving you breathless and faint and tightly wound around her. The coiling pleasure within you finally snapped. Your back arched, completely leaving the bed as Morn pressed her lips into yours. She kissed you hungrily as you wailed into her mouth. There was nothing in your mind but the feeling of her fingers coaxing you through the height of your bliss and holding you there for as long as possible. When the pleasure finally started to subside and your breath returned to you, Morn finally withdrew her fingers and lips and wiped her forehead. She smiled at you wordlessly.
"I love you, Morn," you said, panting. There was nothing else to say, nothing else on your mind. If you had given yourself that sort of bliss on a lonely night, you would be drowsy and lethargic. Instead, with Morn turning her love for you into pleasure that made you cry out and curl, you had never felt more alive. She gave you a moment to catch your breath. Leaving your lips unkissed, she sat by your side and stroked your hair.
"I love you too," she planted a quick kiss on your forehead. "Are you tired?"
You shook your head enthusiastically. Sure, you would likely be sore in a few hours, but you wouldn't dream of denying Morn more of you.
"Good, because I wanna get off too." She chuckled and pecked your lips. Undressing herself completely, she helped you out of what clothes remained until you were both completely bare. You were completely flush against her on the bed once more, your skin perfectly complimenting her green form. Her body was toned and full, muscled yet smooth. Even after all you had just been through, the sight of her still made your heart skip.
"I've always wanted to try this. Spread your legs," she commanded, gently grasping your ankles. You complied and she lifted one of your legs aloft just in front of her as if about to hug it. Still holding your leg pointed toward the ceiling, she straddled your dripping warmth with her own. She eased herself onto you and those lovely electric feelings returned. She moaned for the first time, her pleasured sounds like music to your ears.
The position was a little awkward and bent your back in a strange way, but the feeling of her slick sex pressed against yours was delicious.
"I'm gonna start moving," Morn said. She initiated a gentle rocking motion that made you both gasp. The friction between the two of you felt gorgeous and you soon found yourself reciprocating with your hips. Interlocked and sharing the same squeaks and mewls, you wanted desperately to kiss her but couldn't. You had to lay there at her mercy as Morn clung to your leg and ground herself into you. She doubled up on her pace.
"Oh, shit," Morn groaned, both with pleasure and with effort. She had the same expression as when she was driving; when her head wasn't thrown back with a sigh, she was looking at you with love but also intent. Her grinding made you moan and her glare made you shiver delightfully. You had never felt anything like this before, nor had you even fantasized about Morn pressed up against you like this.
"This feels amazing... ah! Morn..." you sighed between yelps when the friction between you peaked.
"I—I..." Morn gasped, her entire face contorted and flushed. She had brought you to your peak once already, and now you wanted nothing more than to see her reach her own ecstasy.
"Please, Morn, come," you pleaded, mirroring her own urgency when she had brought you to orgasm earlier.
"No, I... Shit, I've got a cramp." She sighed, this time tinged with disappointment as she stopped her grinding. "Ouch." She gently disentangled herself from you, rubbing her thigh. The realization that her creased brow had come from pain and not pleasure embarrassed you a bit, an emotion that Morn echoed.
"Hey, it's okay." You sat up and held her shoulder. Her eyes were downcast as she massaged the cramp out of her muscled thigh. "Just so you know, I'm having a great time."
"You were having a great time." She winced as she shifted her kneeling weight on the bed. "Serves me right for thinking I could fuck like a pornstar on the first date, huh?"
"I already came once, Morn," you reminded her. Sitting alongside her, equally naked and sweaty, there was a clarity in the air that made it effortless to speak your mind. You felt bold, yet comfortable. You felt like you wanted more of Morn's body. "Let me take care of you. I think I can make this work."
"Take the lead, babe," Morn relented. The way she said babe made you giddy inside, but you were focused on her now. "Just mind the leg, it still freakin' hurts."
"Morn, when I say I'm gonna take care of you, I mean it. Just lie down," you said, easing her onto her back. With the positions reversed, you had a moment to look her up and down. Laid bare before you and anticipating your next move, the sight of her awoke something within you. Something that told you not to hold back.
You practically pounced atop her, squarely laying yourself on her body. She met you with a kiss that you eagerly returned. You channeled all your built-up desire to please her into that kiss, at the same time aligning your mound with hers. It took a few tries, but eventually, you found the angle where your clit could meet hers without requiring pornstar-style flexibility. Pleasure jolted through both of you and she broke the kiss to gasp.
"Told you I could make it work," you grinned, focusing now on the movement of your hips. You started slowly at first as to not tire yourself out but quickly increased the pace as the coiling warmth inside you grew. Instead of kissing her, you buried your face in her shoulder so you could hear her sing. With every roll of your hips she moaned, louder and louder as you humped her harder and harder.
"Oh, god, babe," Morn panted. You could feel her frenzied breath on your neck as she cried out. You could feel your own orgasm building but all you cared about was her.
"Tell me how you feel," you commanded, maintaining your hips' pace. "I want you to come so bad."
"Keep going," Morn grunted. "I'm close, I'm so fucking close!"
You furthered your efforts, grinding your desperate nub into hers with vigor. You panted as you began to feel tingles in your extremities and your breath became impossibly tight. Morn matched your desperation, her hips weakly pushing upwards so that her mound would meet yours sooner. Just a little more! More! You shouted to yourself mentally as Morn's hands squeezed your waist to signal her impending orgasm.
You frantically let go of her body with one hand, giving up precious leverage in order to make sure Morn couldn't escape the pleasure you were giving her. There was nothing you wanted more than to reach the peak together. You gently caught her pearl between your fingers and rolled it as you ground into her, drawing out deep moans from her. She spasmed in your grasp, gasping in time with your own pleased sighs.
"Oh god!" She cried out, throwing her head back into the piled-up blankets. Her whole body tensed and you could feel each of her rippling muscles press against you in a desperate bid to ride out her orgasm. You followed soon after, the air forced from your lungs as an explosion of tingling warmth knocked the wind out of you. All you could do was cry out with her and press your nub into hers where your hand was still at work. You rubbed and rolled, trying your best to prolong the mutual climax before finally catching your breath and collapsing into Morn's tired embrace.
With your body limp and your face buried in her neck, you could feel her breasts rise and fall with each breath. You held each other loosely for a moment, just listening to her breathe. After only a few heartbeats, she started giggling.
"What's so funny?" you asked, lifting your heavy head to look at her.
"Nothing," she stifled her giggles, a tear rolling down her cheek. "That was just really, really good."
"Are you crying?" You asked, concerned but secretly proud of your handiwork.
"No, I'm not crying. I'm tearing up, there's a difference," she chuckled. "Thank you."
"Thank you. You're the one that started it," you cooed, stroking her hair. "plus, you ate me out first so I think I owe you."
"It's on the house," Morn sighed contently. "But you're still on me... could you roll over, please?"
"Oh, sorry!" you quickly shifted your weight off of her and onto the mattress.
"Don't worry about it, I just figured the bed was softer than me." She chuckled again.
You said nothing, instead opting to resume your embrace with her from the side. She reciprocated, rolling over so she could be the big spoon. She wrapped her arms around you snugly.
"Ah, shit," Morn cursed under her breath.
"What? What's wrong?" You craned your neck a bit to see her golden eyes in your periphery.
"Our food is definitely cold by now," she grumbled, "and I don't have a microwave."
“I’ve got snacks in my bag.” You replied.
Morn readied a compliment, but delayed when both your phones buzzed. THA HOOLIGANZ had something to say.
“What is it now?” Morn rolled over and grabbed her phone, reading the messages as they rolled in. You did the same.
“What the…?”
Lash: did you two kiss yet???
Dera: they did more than that 😳😳😳
Morn shot you a look of disbelief before tapping away frantically.
Morn: wtf are you guys talking about?
You: ^
Lash: the crepe date! u two are dating now right?
You: what do u mean crepe date? the breakfast u failed to show up to u mean??
Lash: lol, relax. we just thought you two needed some time alone. for the record, i was actually hung over. me and dera just agreed you two needed to talk it out
Dera: seriously, u look at Morn the way she looks at crepes, and she looks at u the way Lash looks at literally anyone
Lash: or the way u look at dudes bulges
Dera: shut up
“I…” Morn began, jaw agape. “I don’t know if I should be mad or amazed. I’m both.”
“They set us up like lonely freshmen.” You shook your head, chuckling.
Lash: u two are dating now right???
Morn: yes dumbass
You: can confirm
Lash: CUTEEEEE
Dera: morn fucks on the first date. respect.
You: wait how- what?
Dera: ur in Morn’s dorm right
Your texting was interrupted by three solid thumps coming through the wall.
Dera: i’m right next door and these dorms are made of fucking paper
Morn: hey, i’ve dealt with hearing every single time you slept with some guy. fair is fair
Dera: no judgment from me!
Lash: suddenly i’m glad i still live with my parents…
You put your phone down as you really didn’t have much to say. Morn gave up on it as well, your phones resting together on the floor. She resumed spooning you and a moment later, you felt her chest start to heave with laughter; a hearty laugh loud enough for Dera to hear through the walls. You joined her, laughing until your diaphragm ached. The whole situation, the realization that Dera and Lash knew before either of you did and that they had a master plan… utterly ridiculous. It was like something out of a movie, yet with your arms wrapped around one of Morn’s, completely real. You feared this was all a dream, and as soon as you succumbed to sleep in Morn’s cozy twin bed, it would dissolve.
Morn could tell sleep started to take you.
“I love you,” she whispered into your ear. She squeezed you tight. You had never been more sure of anything in your life that Morn would still be cuddling you when you woke up.
#exophilia#monster x reader#monster x human#romance#female reader#orc#female orc x female reader#monster love#wlw#monster romance#monster fic#wlw romance#orc girlfriend#friends to lovers#monster girlfriend
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USO Girl?
Halloween!Steve x Halloween!female!reader
Summary: Steve and reader meet at a Stark Industries halloween party, but the reader is dressed up as a USO girl. 🇺🇸
Warnings: None really, just a terrible title.
Request from: @lighterthanstardust (technical difficulties with tagging at the moment)
Putting on the last few touches of your red lipstick, your phone dings.
Nat: Are you still coming? I wanna introduce you to some people :)
Y/N: On my way
Natasha had been begging you to come to Stark's Halloween party for the past month, you kept saying no because you're content with your little tradition of buying candy, curling up and watching horror movies every Halloween. But Natasha was persistent, and adamant about you going. She would come to your workplace at shield, whether you were training, taking a call, or welcoming a new recruit, and bother you until you gave in.
You were pretty sure the reason she wanted you at the party was so she could introduce you to her co-workers? Friends? Family? Whatever she called them, you've heard her refer to them as many different things over the years. And well, you guessed correct based off the text.
Shutting your door and walking out of your apartment complex, you could hear your silver kitten heels click clacking on the cement ground. Getting into your car and checking the adress off the piece of paper Natasha gave you, you turn on the ignition and speed off.
Pulling into the parking lot of a very tall building, that you assume is Stark Tower, you see a red headed figure standing out front.
As you park your car and get out, Natasha starts walking towards you. Pulling you in for a hug and letting go, she takes a good once over of your USO girl costume.
"Damn, 'might as well take you home tonight girl!" She says as she twirls you around.
"Thanks but look at you, Kim Possible!"
Natasha hooks her left arm with your right arm, as you both start walking towards the entrance.
"What are supposed to be anyway?"
"A USO girl, it was a last minute idea because I didn't have a costume. Had to rumage through my grandmother's closet." You answer.
"Hm, it's cute."
As you enter the building she leads you to an elevator, and punches the button that says: 17th floor. When the elevator stops, and opens you notice there's not as many people as you thought there would be. It seems to be more of a small get together for Halloween. To the right there's a group of five people, and Maria Hill whom you've talked to a good amount of times already, all sitting on white couches. There's about two handfuls of some other people scattered here and there, dress in different costumes.
"Tasha' where is everyone?" You whisper shouted as she led you to her friends, The Avengers.
"This is everyone, Y/N"
When Natasha and you reached the group she stopped in front of everyone and introduced you to them.
"Guys, this is Y/N, she works for shield."
"Hey!"
"Hello."
"Nice to finally meet you!"
"So you're the girl Nat keeps talking 'bout, eh?"
You knew who they all where so you didn't bother asking for names, instead you just said your "hi's" back and settled on the couch by Nat.
"Where's Steve?" Nat asked,
"The mans is old as dirt, he's probably just walking to slow. He'll be here eventually." As Sam says this he moves his eyes to you and asks,
"So what's up with the costume?"
"Sam reall-" Maria starts to say but you interrupt.
"Ha ha, it's okay Maria. I'm a USO girl, I didn't have a costume and it was a last minute idea, I had it on hand."
"Be careful, Y/N, gonna give Capsicle a stroke there."
They all chuckle at Tony's joke,
"Capsicle?"
"Just ignore Tony" Natasha says rolling her eyes and shaking her head.
After about an hour of conversation, and Halloween music playing in the background, you volunteer to get the second round of beer from Tony's bar. But Bruce stops you,
"Oh, you don't have to get them. Sit down I'll get it."
Not stopping and ignoring his offer you say,
"It's fine, I can get them."
He smiles warmly at you as you get up to go to the bar.
When you open the small refigerator door, you grab six beers including one for yourself. When you close the door and start to exist the bar you crash right into someone's hard chest.
"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry, i wasn't lookin-"
You cut your self off looking up. Completely mesmerized by the man in front of you. Steve Rogers. You knew he was attractive, but you didn't know he was this attractive.
Chuckling Steve tells you, "It's okay."
He looks down at the beers in your arms,
"Let me grab one for myself, then I'll help you carry those over there."
Waiting for him to grab one, he walks back to you, takes three cans from you, and taps the small of your back to signal you to start walking, sending a shiver down your back.
"So, a USO girl, eh?" Steve asked.
"Oh, yup, didn't have a costume."
"So then what's that?"
"My grandmother's"
Realizing what you said you just said you look at him with wide eyes.
"I am so sorry, I didn't mean to call you old."
Steve lets put a louder laugh causing everyone to watch both of you as you and him make your over to them.
"So, I see you've already met Steve." Nat says with her eyebrows raised.
Knowing what she's suggesting you roll your eyes and say,
"Yes, I have."
"So, I guess I was right. You did give him a stroke."
Everyone starts chuckling at Tony's joke while Steve shakes his head with a goofy smile on his face, looking down at his shoes.
"Hm?" You ask after taking a sip of your beer.
"Well the loud crash?"
"Oh! No, that was me dropping all the beer."
Everyone is moving onto different conversations but you an Steve keep talking. Asking eachother question after question, inventively listening to one another.
Nat was watching both of you out of the corner of her eye.
"So where's the costume old man?!" Sam says, sorta struggling to keep his eyelids open.
"Didn't know we were dressing up." Steve answers with a shrug.
"What?!? No way. Absolutely not. Who doesn't dress up for Halloween?"
"Apparently, Capsicle."
Jerking his head toward Tony he points at him saying,
"Hey! Who're you to talk Stark, you're not dressed up either."
"When you're Tony Stark, Rogers, you don't need a costume to be cool" Tony argues in his defense, flicking off some imaginary dust from his suit.
Everyone keeps talking, drinking, occasionally dancing, and getting drunker and drunker. But Steve has the inconveniency of not being able to get drunk, and you're so caught up in his baby blues that you completely forget you were drinking.
You're definitely drunk, but not from alcohol. You're drunk off of his seafoam eyes, his charm, his kindess, his authority, his every detail.
When two a.m rolls around, and everyone is drunk of thier asses they start heading up to a couple of floors higher, most likely to whatever rooms were up there to get some sleep, already dreading the morning after.
Since you and Steve were sober, well you were more sober than the rest, You and him stayed behind to clean up empty bottles, empty beer cans, and fallen decorations.
You pickup some beer cans to go to the bar and throw them away but when you come back, Steve asks you,
"Would it be wierd if I asked you out?"
"No, no it would not be wierd"
You're both smiling at eachother, Steve is holding orange, black and purple streamers in one hand, while your holding a beer bottle.
Next thing you know he's dropping the streamers, and walking to you.
He kisses you. Lips on lips. Moving so perfectly in sync. It's igniting, it's new, it's exciting, and brilliant. So brilliant that you drop the beer bottle to lay your hands on the nape of his neck, but the bottle has other plans. It crashes to the floor and shatters, causing you and Steve to pull away from eachother and chuckle.
As you both bend down to pick up the shattered peices he grabs your hand, and tilts you head up to look at him.
"So, will you go on date with me?"
"It would be crazy of me to say no, Steve"
My first actual fic!! I hope you've all liked it, btw I THRIVE of off feedback so please tell me what you've thought.
If you've liked this fic please like and reblog. REBLOGS HELP WRITERS A CRAP TON!!!
🤍💙🖤
#steve rogers drabble#marvel#steve rogers au#steve rogers fic#steve rogers headcanons#steve rogers x reader fluff#bucky fic#steve rogers angst#steve rogers fanfic#steve rogers one shot#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#ransom drysdale fluff#ransom drysdale angst#ransom drysdale x y/n#ransom drysdale x you#ransom x reader#ari levinson#ari levinson x female reader#ari levinson x reader#ari levinson x you#ari levinson x y/n#andy barber#andy barber x reader#andy barber x y/n#andy barber x you#jake jensen#jake jensen x you#jake jensen x reader#jake jensen x y/n
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The Road to Love and Truth (Blackhill)
Rating: Teen and up
Words: 2827
Chapter: 2/2
Fandoms: Marvel
Characters: Natasha Romanoff, Maria Hill, Steve Rogers, Nick Fury
Additional tags: -
Summary: Maria struggles after her night with Natasha. She gets some good advice from Steve.
Authors note: Blackhill Bingo square I3 "Steve Rogers"
Story below the cut or in AO3 here
Maria still has a huge headache. She's been debating taking another aspirin to ease it down for the past 10 minutes, but it hasn't been too long since she took the first one and it might just not be working yet. The situation with Romanoff might not be helping either.
Without thinking she's making her way towards Phil's office. She's not sure why, she knows she won't talk about something like this to him. He's a good friend but she just can't talk about her sex life with him, less about feelings. Maybe he'll have some work she can do to distract her from the night before. She can't use her key card on a day off, (Fury has made it very clear she's not supposed to be doing work during any type of leave) so she can't go to her own office to continue work.
Phil isn't in his office. Now that she actually thinks about it, he has been on a mission since yesterday. She still needs something to distract her though. Maybe Fury would let it slide this once if she'd go do work, but she'd rather not see him right now. She decides to just go for a walk. Hopefully that'll clear her head a little.
------
The fresh air does help her headache and clears her head just the tiniest bit as well. She stands outside of the Triskelion for a short time and decides to go for a short walk along the river.
She keeps her eyes mostly on the water as she walks hands in the pockets of her sweats. She probably should've changed if she's honest, but she didn't want to go back to her room. SHIELD agents weren't that rare sight around these parts, but they definitely didn't go out in their gym clothes. She kicks around some pebbles every once in a while that are lying around the sidewalk.
She loses track of time, trying to just focus on nothing but the movement of the water. And she might have let her guard down, because she gets startled, when a hand taps her on the shoulder.
"Maria, what are you doing out here?"
"Jesus, Steve. Warn a girl next time."
"I literally yelled your name when I saw you. You're not usually this distracted. Are you okay?"
There's concern on his face and Maria doesn't like it one bit. She's fine, and even if she wasn't, everyone else needs to think she is.
"Everything's fine," she lies.
Steve gives her a long look, not quite believing her.
"You can always talk to me, you know? Whatever it is that's bothering you, I'll listen."
Damn Steve, and his kind heart.
"I know," she says.
"Okay, well I'm gonna finish my run. Come and find me if you want to talk about whatever this is," he says as he runs past her.
Maria just waves him off. She continues along the river for a while longer until her headache becomes worse again. Deciding it's best to just go back and take another aspirin, she turns around and heads towards the Triskelion again.
------
Eventually Maria realises she needs to talk to someone so she heads towards Steve's quarters and knocks on his door. He opens the door with a smile. They're good friends but it's quite rare she actually ends up on his doorstep.
"Hey, Maria. What's up?"
"I slept with Natasha," she answers as she pushes past him into his room. She sits on his bed, head in her hands. She hears the door click shut as Steve closes it.
"Not what I was expecting. How are you feeling?"
Maria groans at the question, "I don't know. I find out she's queer and few days later I find her in my bed. That's not how that should go. And worst of all I want to do it again, but I don't think I can just keep it at that."
"So you want to ask her out?"
"I think so?" She says and lays down on the bed so she can stare at the ceiling. "But I'm her superior, it's unprofessional, not to mention way too complicated. How am I supposed to be able to send her out there, if I'm worried if she'll make it back? How is Fury supposed to trust in me, if I get compromised because of her? Or what if I make the wrong decision, because I can't--" Steve cuts her off. She feels the bed dip, as he sits next to her on the bed and places a hand on her knee.
"Maria, you're forgetting one important thing, she's the Black Widow, she knows how to handle herself. Do you know how many times she's saved me out there? Because I've lost count by now. And Fury won't see you any differently if you start showing normal people emotions. Also stop worrying about 'what if's. Those are situations you can't know the answers for before it's too late. And for the record, I think you're already compromised. You care more about her than you know. Have for a long time."
"Fuck", Maria breaths the word out.
"Language."
"No, I actually fucked up."
"What did you do?"
"I just left her. She wanted to talk, and I just left her. I wasn't thinking clearly. I told her it was a mistake. Well it technically was because that was definitely not how I wanted that to go, but… I let her believe I don't want her. Shit!" She gets up quickly and starts pacing around. "I gotta go find her. Tell her that I'm sorry for how I treated her. That last night was great. Not that I really remember anything. To hopefully ask her properly out." She freezes on her tracks and turns to face Steve. "What if she says no? How am I supposed to continue working with her then?"
"Maria", Steve warns her.
"Right, won't know the answers before it's too late." She takes a deep breath. "Okay, I'm gonna go to find her. I wonder where she could be."
"At the gym with Barton."
"How would you know that?"
"Just a hunch."
------
She does find Natasha at the gym. She's beating up Barton at the mats. Maria decides to just stay by the door and watch, she'll notice her eventually. Natasha seems more tense than normal, maybe even a little angry. She doesn't move around as smoothly as she usually does. Her movements are a little more jacked, more forced. Maria realises that she's not fighting with a clear head. She's trying to push her feelings out. Maria was the reason the Widow's usually flawlessly smooth fighting style looked harsh and broken. It makes her heart twinge.
Eventually Natasha pins Barton down and he taps out. She gets up and her gaze shifts to Maria's. Maria physically flinches under her gaze. She quickly straightens her back and neutralises her face, when Barton gets back onto his feet and notices her presence.
"Commander," he coughs, eyes moving from Maria to Natasha and back again. After a couple of beats of silence he starts backing towards the men's locker room. "I'll just go then."
Maria just looks at Natasha, not really sure what she's supposed to say. Before she's able to say anything, Natasha turns on her heels and heads towards the women's locker rooms. That gets Maria on the move as well. She runs after Natasha and grabs her from the upper arm.
"Natasha wait," Maria says and Natasha stops on her tracks. "I'm sorry about earlier. Can we talk?"
Natasha turns around and Maria tries to look as apologetic as she can. Natasha just stares at her for a while.
"Fine. My quarters in 10."
Maria nods and drops her hold of the other woman. She didn't even realise she had still been holding her upper arm. Natasha eyes her quickly once more before she turns around again and heads out of sight to the locker room. Maria just stands still for a while, looking after her, until she spins around as well and heads out of the gym and towards Natasha's quarters.
------
Natasha is punctual as ever, and appears exactly 10 minutes later. Maria follows her silently into her room. Natasha sits down on her bed, one leg under herself while the other hangs off the edge. Maria is reminded of the morning. She stays standing near the door, but is faced towards Natasha. She's trying to figure out her words, even though she's been trying to figure out what to say ever since she walked out of Steve's quarters.
"Well?" Natasha prompts her.
"I fucked up. I'm really sorry for how I treated you. I panicked and I fucked up. I try my best to keep my private life and work separate, and I mostly live at work so… I'm having a hard time, to put it lightly. I also have never done this before."
"What? Been with a woman?" Natasha asks with a serious tone. It takes Maria a beat to realise she's not actually seriously asking that.
"No, Romanoff. You know that's not what I meant. I mean sleeping with a co-worker. Actually kinda never slept with anyone without being on a date first. And especially never had someone in my bed in a SHIELD facility."
"So I was your first one night stand?"
"About that, I wouldn't mind doing it again."
"Was I that good?" Natasha asks with a smirk.
"Natasha! I'm not talking about the sex. I'm talking about all of it. Everything since the mission. Spending time together at that bar and during the mission and also everything that came after."
"Wow. Is Commander Hill getting soft?"
"No,” she says. Taking a breath she continues, “I'd just like to see if this could become something. You're one of the few people around here who I can stand, and I actually had a really nice time yesterday. And I'm not regretting what happened after, so that probably says a lot."
Natasha gives her a small smile.
"What changed?"
"What do you mean?"
"You left the room in such a hurry and now you're here saying you don't regret it."
"Yeah, that. I might've talked to Steve and he had some good advice."
"You went to Steve?" Natasha's voice sounds almost scandalous.
"Who else would I go to? Fury? Do you think I have many friends around here? People who I could talk to?"
"Fair enough."
"So, if I'd ask you out on a date what would you say?"
"I would love to, but do you really want to go on a date? Because I feel like we're not the dating kind of people."
That was actually fair, she did always hate going on dates.
"What do you suggest then?"
"How about this?" Maria is really unsure about how she should feel about the smirk that follows that one simple question.
Natasha gets up and walks towards Maria. She stops when their chests are basically touching. She grabs Maria's hands and wraps them around her waist. Then she wraps her own arms around Maria's neck and rises up on her toes to kiss her. Maria basically melts into it. Eventually she lifts Natasha up and they move on the bed. Natasha seems very impressed that Maria can lift her. Maria might be a bit hurt about that.
------
When they decide to leave for an early lunch (neither remembered to eat breakfast), they're barely 100 feet down the hallway from Natasha's room, when they're stopped by a junior agent.
"Commander, Agent Romanoff. Director Fury wants to speak to both of you."
Maria and Natasha exchange a look.
"Did he say what about?" Maria asks.
"Not really," the Agent answers but there's a look on his face Maria doesn't like. It's like he knows something he shouldn't.
Maria debates for a little bit, if she should push and get some answers from him but decides against it. She dismisses the agent and starts heading towards the Directors office with Natasha.
They get a couple weird looks and smiles on the way there. They walk the whole way in silence. Both clearly trying to figure out what Fury wants from them.
Fury sees them immediately, which tells Maria that it's something important. She's getting nervous. Natasha is here as well, so her mind goes only to a specific direction, but how would Fury know?
"Director Fury, you wanted to see us?" Maria greets him.
"Hill, Romanoff. Has either of you checked the news today or any social media?"
Natasha shakes her head. She's been awfully quiet after they ran into that agent.
"No, sir. I haven't checked my phone at all today. Pretty sure it's dead anyway. I've been a bit distracted," Maria answers truthfully. There's no point in lying.
"Well, you probably should stay out of social media for a little while but that's just a suggestion. Do you have anything else to report to me?" His eye shifts from Maria to Natasha and back.
He knows. Maria takes a deep breath. She feels Natasha's hand touch hers, a sign that it's okay.
"Yes, sir. We, uh... Natasha and I are involved."
"Will it be affecting your work?"
"No, sir."
"Then I'm happy for you," he says with the slightest hint of a smile.
Maria is surprised and she can sense that so is Natasha. She lets her posture get a little more relaxed.
"Now to the real reason I invited you in," Fury says as he pulls some tabloid articles up on the screen behind himself. They're all saying basically the same thing: Black Widow at a gay bar with a mystery woman . Some of them have clearly done a better job with trying to figure out who this "mystery woman" is because a couple of them have actual pictures of Maria along with her name. And there's pictures. Pictures of them kissing, the intense looks they changed during that night and pictures of them leaving together.
"We tried to get them down before they spread too far, but clearly we didn't manage that. Anything about the Avengers' personal life spreads like a fire. I'm sorry about the situation it puts you in."
Both of the women just nod. There wasn't anything to say. Fury takes this as his answer and turns off the screen.
"Well then, you're dismissed. Hill, if you could stay for just a little longer?"
Natasha squeezes her shoulder a little before she steps out of the room.
"Sir?"
"No reason to be that formal anymore. This is just me checking on you. How are you feeling?"
"Well, that's a lot, but I think I'm fine. It's not the way I wanted things to go, but I guess it's good that it's out. If we wish to go out, now we don't need to worry if someone sees us or not."
"Okay, still I wish the situation wasn't this. I strongly suggest that you don't check any social media for the next few days. I know you think you can handle it, but there's gonna be some bad stuff there and I'd prefer the dust settles a bit first. Also if anyone, and I mean anyone, in SHIELD gives either of you a hard time because of this, let me know. I will handle it. It's out there, so everyone knows. I wish you could've handled this on your own terms, but the situation is what it is."
Maria smiles at him.
"Thank you, Director. I know I said it won't affect my work, and I truly believe and hope so, but if it ever seems like I'm putting her before the mission; pull me out of it, if possible. I know I won't be happy about it, but I need to know that I won't be making mistakes because I'm compromised."
"Of course. But I have full belief that you'll do great even then."
Maria nods and heads towards the door but Fury's voice makes her turn around before she gets to open it.
"Also, before you go. I am truly happy for you, Maria."
Maria smiles at him and nods her thanks and joins Natasha on the other side of the door.
Natasha hugs her as she closes the door. Maria circles her arms around her and presses her cheek against Natasha's head.
"That went better than I expected." She hears Natasha mumble against her chest.
"It did," Maria agrees.
"I'm so sorry about the articles though. If I would've just realised--" Maria quiets her with a kiss.
"Natasha, there's nothing you could've done about it. The second we walked in there everyone was paying extra attention to us. Those articles would be there even if we hadn't kissed. I'm just glad we did. I don't think I would've ever dared to take this step otherwise," Maria says. She looks Natasha in the eye and they exchange smiles. "Now, how about that lunch?"
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FanFic Rec List February 2021
This has been... a month. At one point I wanted to set everything on fire and forget I lived through this month. Luckily enough, at least I had these wonderful fanfictions bringing me some joy. So, I happily share with you my personal recommendations of the month! And look at that, there’s more than one fandom! I'm impressed with myself, you guys!
Star Wars Prequels
-i just want you for my own by elysian prince Obi-Wan/Anakin - 17.226 words - Rating T - Fake/Pretend relationship, Modern AU
I’ve never hidden that I’m not a fan of fake/pretend relationships, but when it’s in a one-shot I'm okay with it, mostly. And both Anakin and Obi-Wan are super adorable and basically fall in love with each other immediately. So much fluff! I also loved how I read this closer to Valentine’s Day than Christmas, yet it’s just the kind of tooth rotting sweetness that's perfect for both seasons!
-Conceal Me What I Am by Himboskywalker Obi-Wan/Anakin - 108.325 words - Rating E - Omegaverse, Senator!Obi-Wan, Arranged Marriage
I know, I know! If I keep this up, the “I hate fake relationships” is gonna become a meme. But it’s the authors’ fault for writing fics so good that I even forget about that one tag that always bothers me. I think in this one it helps that the angst isn't related just to them faking their relationship but also to them having to hide their secondary gender. Also, so many fancy clothes in this fic! What can I say, I have a soft spot for our lovely Jedi dressed in expensive stuff.
-Obi-Mom Kenobi Series by Femalefonzie Obi-Wan/Anakin - 29.275 words - Not Rated - Omegaverse, Mpreg
The thing I loved the most about this fic is the mix of cuteness and humor. This series is such a treat! I truly enjoyed the elements of their own lore the author managed to fit in the Star Wars Universe, and every side-character has their own moment to shine… A nice lighthearted series, especially ‘cause every story is under 2.500 words, so you read them in one bite anytime.
-Changing Fate by robinasnyder Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan - 18.672 words - Rated M - Sith!Obi-Wan, Angst
If you want an evil Obi-Wan, this is not the fic. BUT, if you want a Sith Obi-Wan that was actually a slave of the Sith and that craved for a chance to join the Jedi, this is perfect. I love how fragile Obi-Wan feels all along, how much he’s ready to sacrifice himself for Qui-Gon. And I adored Obi-Wan’s relationship with everyone else being kinda complicated, since he actually dreams of what happened in canon. A nice touch, truly!
-Faultlines by Chibiobiwan Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan - 24.298 words - Rated T - Mission Fic, Mutual Pining, Hurt/Comfort (TW: Hypothermia, Near Drowning)
I craved for something where Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon are both Anakin’s teacher, and despite how the focus of this fic is more on Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon fixing their relationship, there are still those sweet moments with Anakin that just made me love every single hour it took me to finish it. I can’t put into words how much I wanted to read more of their adventures!
The Mandalorian
-Who Would Have Thought? by jes12321 Din/Luke - 1.734 words - Rating T - Soulmates, Fluff
As soon as I read what kind of soulmates AU this fanfiction was, I already knew I would love it. Then I actually fell in love with the story itself. My heart melted so much because of this one! Very much worth checking it out. THAT ENDING, MAN! I WANT MORE!
-Like a Thief in the Night by Vagrant_Blvrd Din/Luke - 3.023 words - Rating G - Accidental Marriage
Guys, this does not count as a fake relationship, I swear. They just end up accidentally marrying the other and it’s obviously all Han’s fault. And the thing with the rings! Just so lovely!
-One Fine Morning by Nununununu Din/Luke - 2.605 words - Rating G - Fluff
Am I honestly gonna suggest you read this fic only for one detail that made me squee for 5 minutes straight? You bet I am! Am I gonna spoil that detail for you? NOPE. You really just have to read this. (Hint, it’s about Grogu, ‘cause OF COURSE IT IS!)
-To Build A Home by subtlehysteria Din/Luke - 44.903 words - Rating T - Modern AU, Domestic fluff, Non-Sexual Intimacy
I’m kinda picky when it comes to intimacy with these two, because I honestly feel uncomfortable with the idea of them being sexual. This fic has just one circumstance where they are really intimate, and the scene kept me on the line between making me uncomfortable and still being okay with what's going on. Just giving a heads up to anyone that might share this struggle. Other than that, this fic is absolutely lovely! I love the relationships between every character and I adored how cute Grogu was. The fluff is SO strong with this one, you guys, but I gotta admit that the humor is what touched me the most! (I have a soft spot for fanfictions that make me giggle, sue me.)
9-1-1
-vienna waits for you by mottainai Eddie/Buck - 16.406 words - Not Rated - Getting together, Soulmates, Angst, (TW: Self-worth issues, Referenced child abuse)
Guys, I’m not kidding with this one. I was literally SOBBING at one point. Am I overly sensitive? Probably! But this one just hit a nerve with me and it destroyed me in the most lovely way. I will not spoil any other details, but truly: both Eddie and Buck obviously deserve good things.
#fanfiction recommendation#rec list#fanfic rec list#star wars#star wars prequels#obikin#quiobi#the mandalorian#dinluke#9-1-1#buddie#long post
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Hello! I'm sorry for bothering, but is it okay to ask for your side on your and Pandora's love story? You guys are so sweet! I wish the best for you guys!
Well hello to you too hahah
And my side, ghm? Well,,, it's gonna be a trip since I just woke up and I'm doing this all in one go so I hope it makes sense at the end hahahah
Anyways owo
Twas a fine, lovely afternoon—
No really, it was. Like... I was scrolling through the comments of my old fics and I saw,, Bella commented hahah
And I was all "oh cool :3"
Then a lil skip and I saw her, pandora-dusk, commenting on the post I have of the fic and I was all "huh.. is this the same person??" I thought it was, she's all "I found it!" Or smth, and hey said the fic was dope and I was all "omf is this secretly a famous person—"
So I checked her blog, and I was all, "yeah okay I feel this person is famous so why is she talking to me cjskcbskdn"
But like,, yeah,, twas dope hahah
And we only get to talk in the replies because I refuse to talk to someone famous cause I'd embarrass myself owo
But then, in one of our chats in the notes and such, she mentioned how she draws and such and I was all "NFKSNDKSN YOU DRAW :D" and hey, I told her that people would absolutely love her art and such and yeah, surprise surprise, she posted her drawings and I was all ":0!!!! YO DAS SO COOL!" And then I remember reblogging it and had some on my save tag hahaha
It's so dope hahah
But y'know what happened next? The lil shit Tumblrbot messaged me and I low-key panicked cause "omf did I do smth wrong am I getting kicked out of Tumblr???" You can tell my mind was racing, but when I saw their message and they just "hey, you liked pandora-dusk's post, you should try talking to her owo" and I was all "hahah w h a t—"
Legit it took me a while to actually try to message her cause I was just "hhhHhnnn okay but what if she's busy and she finds it annoying omfs cjsmxjsm"
But hey I just up and "fuck it, if I managed to message Dee despite them being famous too, why not her?" So I sucked it up and yeah, messaged her hahaha
If you saw Pan's post, then yeah, you'd see how it went down
Anyways yeah, after that, we didn't talk much and every time I check my notifs, my thumb just hovers over her icon cause I still wanna talk to her and such, but I feel like I'm annoying her, so I just wait for replies and such hahah
Tis sad, but hey
Then that thing with Jane Angst™ happened, and good lord the reblogs jcsmjdks hahahaha
It escalated to the point we made the Knight and the Princess and we finally took it to the DM's cause hah, the reblogs were getting long hahah
AND OH MY GOD
Okay so we made progress with the lil story of the Knight and Princess, yeah? I fucking shit you not, I did not sleep because of that hahahah
I think yesterday, yeah, we were talking about this ask and it went to that thing of us with the Princess and Knight, and I told her that I didn't sleep for her just to try to finish that, that's how special she was and I didn't even know her yet–
But hey yeah, another mini skip
Then more shit happened to me, I didn't sleep and twas already two, and then.. she messaged me hahah
And then told me so many things and I discovered more about her too
And I could feel myself falling for her
Do you know how scary that was hahaha
She's so amazing.. no chance, yeah? I convinced myself that there's no chance. As if we'd meet. As it she'd like me. No one likes me like that irl, so why would she like me? She doesn't even know me.
But,,, ehhh,,, idk man. Couldn't stop myself hahah
She's just so nice and so dope and so understanding. She's so caring, so talented, and just.. she's amazing in general. And that scared me so much hahaha
Cause I'm nothing owo
I always like people with no chance of liking me back and I've been hurt so much hahah
But did I continue liking her anyways? Yep.
It didn't help that after drawing human Tumblrbot, Al— well,, star anon during that time, sent asks how Pan and I are kinda T's parents and oh my god I was all "that's so fucking adorable but hhHhhH is she comfortable with this cjskjdk" then I saw her actually draw shit for T too and I was just ":'0!!" And yeah, I started falling more and more hahah
Everyday I couldn't stop thinking about her, but I keep telling myself to just forget her cause "there's no chance. No one likes you irl, why expect she'd like you? Once she sees what you look like, she's gonna be disgusted. Disgusted probably like everyone else." And that broke me.. cause hah.. I really did like her, but yeah, we don't talk much so I just "ehh.. sure.."
But did I really stop? Nah.
Look I fell hard jcksjxksns
And hey I kept gushing about her to the GC and to my best friend hahaha
Dee actually thought Pan and I were dating and I was all "hah, I wish—"
And then my best friend was all "omf you have a gf na without telling me—" but hey I told her we weren't together and she was all "WHAT??? BUT?? YOU TWO ARE SO SWEET???"
And yeah hahaha
Another timeskip
Like,, Halloween?? Yeah hahah
Halloween onwards
We started talking more and more and oh my god I fell h a r d
I get to know more about her and the more she shared the more I fell and like,,, the more I see her as herself hahah
And god, she's so amazing
She might not believe it, but she is
And everyday I keep telling her how she's so great, basically, I was trying to flirt with her hahahahah
Cause like,, there might be a small ass chance yeah? Yeah hahah
And hey,, we talked and such, and,, hahah it seems like we were together but not. I told her that when we finally meet, I'm taking her out on a date hahah
And yeaahhhhh,,,
Another mini skip, now it's November, and hah, the eleventh came and on the twelfth, we had like this swab test and such and I was scared af and I just "hhhnnn might as well"
So take note, in my part it's like?? What?? Twelve? Eleven going on twelve am
But in hers it's the afternoon still
DO YOU KNOW HOW COLD MY HANDS WERE
So yeah, I confessed to her hahah
AND YO
SHE ACTUALLY??? LIKES ME BACK????
GODDAMN JCSKJXKSNXKSNS
And yeah owo
I messaged my bestfriend first about it cause she was still online and yeah we celebrated hahahaha
But yeah, then we talked more, we saw what each other looked like (y'all she's so fucking pretty cjskjdks like goddamn) and surprisingly, she doesn't think I look like shit, then we called, and hcksjdksjs
It was just so great hahaha
And hey, yeah, we got to know more about each other and boom, we be here now owo
I hope that suffices cause my memory be shit and I probably missed a few but hey hahah
#ah aint this a trip ncksndk#but yeah#shit often blocks the way sometimes but hey#pan and i always help each other out hahah#and yeah#i try to be better and such for her ówò#cause like.. im not really that great but for her im gonna try to be better and such hahah#bc i love her so much uwu#hahaha#an ask and an answer#anon
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falling // jeong yunho
SYNOPSIS: After experiencing countless messy break ups, Yunho can't seem to find himself to love and to be loved once again. Not until he met y/n who’s as broken as him. Sharing their stories, Yunho found out that they’re almost the same but their difference is Yunho can help himself be whole again after being shattered into pieces. But y/n? Well, maybe God has plans as to why they met each other.
PAIRING: Yunho x fem!reader
GENRE: fluff, angst
WORD COUNT: 4.5k
SONG RECOMMENDATION: falling by harry styles
WARNINGS: mentions of drinking, cheating, cursing, verbal fighting, emotional breakdowns, toxic relationships, self doubts, unhealthy way of coping up with heartbreaks
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello! This is my first work for the tag, hehe. I also have another work drafted but it's quite long so I decided to post a /shorter/ one first to test the waters since I'm too shy sharing my works because I know I'm not that great of a writer ssjdjsjk. Some character names are also made by me and doesn't exist in real life. I'm so sorry for grammatical errors as well! English is not my first language >.< Feedbacks are welcome and accepted, enjoy!
Masterlist
Silently sitting at the couch of a friend’s party, Yunho chugged down his 3rd bottle of beer for the night. Just today, his fourth girlfriend decided to break up with him through text, saying their usual “it’s not you, it’s me” line that he is tired of hearing.
As much as it’s supposed to sound reassuring, he can’t help but think that maybe there really is something wrong with him as a boyfriend. Does he not spare them enough time and attention? Does he spend way too much time with his friends? Does he always stay up late all the damn time, playing his god forsaken video games and occasionally forgetting to text his past significant others back unintentionally?
He really can’t answer his own questions but he knows.. he fucking knows that he’s nothing but a good, loyal boyfriend to those who he used to date. But why do they always leave him?
He felt someone nudged on his knee, cutting him off of his thoughts. Looking at that person, he saw Mingi with eyes full of concern. “Dude, we’ve been looking for you for the past five minutes already then I see you sitting on the couch, glaring at everyone. What’s wrong?”
San was the first one to notice their arrival and smiled the brightest smile he can muster while clapping his hands. He looks like he’s not yet drunk.
San was the first one to notice their arrival and smiled the brightest smile he can muster while clapping his hands. He looks like he’s not yet drunk.
San was the first one to notice their arrival and smiled the brightest smile he can muster while clapping his hands. He looks like he’s not yet drunk.
“There’s our Yunho!” He exclaimed which gained the others attention, some even greeting him with enthusiasm as they went back to playing. He silently sat beside Wooyoung who looked at him full of curiosity. Usually when they party, he’s one of those causing chaos but due to how he’s acting now, Wooyoung must’ve sensed that there’s something wrong.
He put his arm over Yunho’s shoulder and shook him slightly, “What’s bothering you, bud?”
That single, simple sentence seems to break all the emotions and questions that Yunho’s been keeping to himself as he felt his eyes get teary and he asked, “Is there something wrong with me?”
The chaos surrounding him suddenly became calm as the rest of his friends circled him. No one spoke and the silence was unbearable until Hongjoong decided to break it.
“Yunho, what happened?”
He took a deep shaky breath, “Eunhae broke up with me.”
A scoff was heard and everyone looked at Yeosang, “See what I told you? This is what you get for not listening, Yunho.” He said as Yunho stared at him with a hardened expression.
Hongjoong, who’s trying to do damage control, decided to peel Yeosang away from their circle but the younger broke free, “Yeosang, now’s not the time–”
“Now’s not the time to what, Hongjoong?” Yeosang spit out with so much hatred, making Hongjoong look away. The younger man proceeds to walk and stand in front of Yunho, gripping both of his arms tightly, “Jeong Yunho, what did I tell you? She’s not good for you, she’s–”
“Gonna break your heart and leave you broken like the rest of them did. I know, Yeosang. I know.” Yunho cut him off, voice full of regret, “I should’ve listened to you.” He said, this time, with a small voice.
Yeosang just rolled his eyes and pulled Yunho in a hug with his head on his chest, steadied by the smaller’s hand. The action caught him off guard and all of a sudden, the only thing he could feel and hear is his sobs breaking free from his mouth, tears falling down from his eyes as his body trembles in brokenness.
The whole pool house was silent and the only thing that’s audible is the ongoing party happening outside. His friends let him cry until he’s too tired and broken to let anything out. Wiping his eyes, he giggled tiredly, “I’m a fucking fool. I don’t want to love anymore. I just want to be loved the way I deserve.”
No one spoke but his friends’ hearts broke at what he said. Yunho is loved by everyone but he’s just too engrossed in giving away his heart to someone that he didn’t notice it.
Wooyoung removed the hair from his eyes and whispered, “Let’s get you home, buddy, so you can rest. You consumed enough alcohol.”
“I’m not fucking drunk, I want to drink more!” He tries to argue, making Seonghwa speak up, “You may not be drunk but you’re tired and have alcohol in your system. That’s not healthy. You know that drinking is not the healthiest way to cope up with heartbreak, Yunho.”
“Let me be!” He shouted as he tried to pry off Wooyoung’s grasp on him as he tried to stand up to get more alcohol.
“No I won’t let you be!” Seonghwa argued back, pushing him down to where he’s seated, the tension coming back again, “You’re broken enough and if you drink more you’ll be nothing but an unrepairable mess and I don’t want that. We don’t want that to happen.”
Sinking the older’s words in, Yunho has no choice but to agree. Seonghwa’s right, damn, he is always right. He decided to silently follow Wooyoung to his car and the drive back home was silent. No one spoke until they arrived at his condominium.
“Take care of yourself, Yunho.” Wooyoung said, “We care for you. We love you, always remember that. I know it’s tiring but we’re always here to help you be whole again.” After saying those words, he decided to drive away and go back to Jongho’s house.
Entering his apartment, he didn’t bother to turn on the lights and decided to do his night routine and lay down in his bed as he looked at the view of the city on his window, thinking about Wooyoung’s words. It helped bring a slight smile on his face as he decided to let himself slip off to dreamland.
—
The next day, Yunho decided to visit his favorite coffee shop to grab his usual favorite treats for the morning to start it well instead of moping around because he got his heart broken.
Arriving at the cafe, he was greeted by the Mrs. Kim, the lady who owns and baked the treats in this coffee shop, “Good morning sweetheart! Do you want the usual?”
“Good morning Mrs. Kim! I think I’ll grab a hot chocolate instead of cold, this time.” He replied with a kind smile as he watched Mrs. Kim fusses over the cashier (who’s her daughter) to punch his orders. Haru smiled at him when she gave him his receipt but leaned forward, gesturing Yunho to do the same.
“You see that girl over there?” She asked, pointing at the girl in the corner, “She entered earlier looking sad and all. You think you can cheer her up?”
Yunho rolled his eyes, “I’m not a clown, Haru. Also, I can’t even bring myself to cheer up when I just went through a break up myself.”
Haru was taken aback by his response then she rolled her eyes, “But you don’t look broken unlike her! You look completely fine.” She pouted and gestured to the girl again, “She looked like she’ll pass out due to sadness.”
Yunho just let out a sigh, “What do I get in return?”
“Two extra cinnamon rolls under my tab.” She said and winked at him. Yunho held his hand out and she took it to seal their deal. “Good luck, Yunho!” She singsongs and Yunho just rolled his eyes.
Approaching her table, Yunho decided to tap the girl on her shoulder and she thankfully looked up but didn’t speak. The curiosity in her eyes though, was enough to voice out her question of “who are you and what are you doing here?”
Scratching the back of his head, Yunho smiled shyly, “Hi, I’m uh, Yunho. I’m alone and have no company. Is there anyone seated there?” He asked, pointing at the empty seat in front of her.
“There used to be someone seated here but they left me.” She said in a quiet voice enough for Yunho to hear but didn’t comment on it then she proceeded to answer him while shaking her head, “No one’s seated there.”
“I hope you don’t mind if I.. sit here?” He asked cautiously, “But it’s okay if you don’t want me too! I’ll just look for an empty space.”
Y/n decided to look around and noticed that the coffee shop is a bit packed. Feeling guilt immediately eating her up just in case she rejects him, she answered, “You can sit here, it’s okay.”
Without saying any more words, Yunho sat down in front of her. They were silent for a while until Yunho spoke up, “You know, me and my friend noticed that you’re actually not well.”
“Your friend?” She asked, thinking if this guy was playing with her, that he’s with someone else even if he told her no, just like what he did with her. “You’re with someone yet you told me that–”
Her sentence was cut off by a giggle from Yunho, “The cashier is the friend I’m talking about.” He clarified and she can feel the heat of shame spreading through her cheeks.
And after that, silence was there again.
No one really spoke until Yunho’s order arrived. He was munching happily on his cinnamon roll and took a sip of his hot.. coffee? Chocolate? When he looked at her and said, “You know I heard you when you said that there’s someone seated here before. Where are they?”
Y/n looked at him with an unpredictable look and that’s when Yunho realized that it must be a sensitive topic. Immediately waving his hands that are holding the utensils, he added, “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it! I’m just a mere stranger, I know.”
The look of panic on his face made y/n smile a bit as he resembled a puppy that got caught doing something wrong. She picked on the loose thread of her sweater when she decided to speak up, “You know, it’s my dream to rant to a stranger because I’m certain that we won’t meet again and I think that time is now, though I’m not sure about the not meeting you again part. I’m y/n, by the way.”
A soft smile flashed through Yunho’s features as he understood what she meant, “You can speak whenever you’re ready.”
She let out a deep sigh and started, “You know the feeling when someone you gave your all just decided to fuck you up emotionally?” She asked and laughed humorlessly, “That’s what he did to me. I won’t be saying his name, I hope you don’t mind.” She added as she wiped her tired-looking eyes.
Yunho nodded silently and gestured to her to continue, “I’ve been living with my boyfriend, well, ex boyfriend for six months now. We’ve been together for a year and a half after I met him at my best friend’s party. We were happy, really. After dating each other for a year, he decided to move in at my apartment unit.”
“The first three months were full of legitimate happiness. There were times where we just laze around, play with each other and sometimes do some random things. I thought it’ll stay that way but I was wrong. Somewhere around April, he started to be distant towards me. I was trying to reach him out but he just kept on pushing me away.” She paused for a while and wiped the tear that fell from her eye.
Taking a deep, shaky breath, she continued, “I thought he was just stressed with college and all but no. Somewhere mid-April, I was waiting for him to come home late at night then he went home drunk. Really really drunk. We had our fair share of parties but that’s the first time I saw him like that and he didn’t tell me that he’s going to a party as well. I mean, I wouldn’t stop him but asking for permission could’ve been nice.”
“We started screaming at each other that time and it was the first ever huge fight we had. He left my apartment that very same day and I don’t know where he went. He went home in the morning and apologized to me then of course I accepted it. Those things just continued until recently, he said something that I really won’t forget which is also the very same reason why I broke up with him.”
“He was drunk that time again when he shamelessly and proudly confessed to me that he’s been seeing my best friend and that she’s the better girlfriend than me. I mean, I’m okay with breaking up with a lying, cheating asshole but my problem is I gave up everything for him. He’s my first love and she’s my only friend who didn’t leave my side. Now I have no idea on how to bring back my life from before.” Tears were now falling down her face nonstop as she tried to wipe it off her face but the waterfall from her eyes showed no sign of stopping. Yunho frantically pulled his handkerchief on his pocket and offered it to her which she gladly accepted.
“We’re stopping here, okay? I don’t want you to faint due to crying.” Yunho said as he fidgeted with his fingers and she sobbed quietly. This girl is the same as him. Broken, left alone, not appreciated. But their difference is that he has everything she doesn’t have and can do anything she can’t. He has friends to help him fix himself and welcome him with open arms when he’s too overwhelmed with sadness and that made him realize of how fucking lucky he is.
Until now here he is, conversing with a very broken girl and thinking of a crazy thing that he never thought he’ll be doing.
Silently grabbing y/n’s trembling hands into his he smiled, “Let me help you.”
She was taken aback by what he said and before she can react, Yunho explained his intentions, “We’re both broken, my girlfriend just broke up with me yesterday but that doesn’t fucking matter. Between the two of us, I can completely keep myself going. I still have friends who can help me when I’m in my most vulnerable state but you.. your only friend betrayed you and I just realized that maybe this is the time someone needs me.”
Too stunned to speak, y/n just clasped Yunho’s hands tighter, “Yunho..”
“Y/n, you don't have to say anything but please reconsider my intention. I want to help you.”
A set of fresh tears fell down from her eyes as she looked at him. This time, with a smile. The most beautiful smile that Yunho has ever seen because no smile can be compared to a smile of a broken one.
“Thank you, Yunho.” She said in a whisper but enough for the both of them to hear.
He softly patted her hand and answered in return, “Now’s not the time to say that. Thank me when you’re whole and fixed again. Deal?”
A laugh bubbled out of y/n as she agreed, “Deal.”
Six months later…
Laying down on his bed with his eyes closed, Yunho couldn’t help but think through the sudden turn of events in his life. His mind immediately flew through the memory of the day he first met y/n.
Weeks after their encounter, it was quite hard to reach out to her despite knowing her side of the story. They agreed to meet everyday at the same spot in the same cafe and just talk about their own feelings. Y/n had a hard time letting her emotions out during those times as she really won’t be able to speak without crying and Yunho has to offer his handkerchief all the time since she always seems to forget to bring hers all the time.
Right after that, a month passed by quickly and she started to smile and laugh more. She also met the boys who welcomed her into their circle with open arms but at the same time, she has her guards up just in case things go wrong. The boys never failed to notice it but they chose not to comment on it. She immediately warmed up to San and Wooyoung and they’re labeled as the chaotic trio in their circle. Y/n felt herself getting happier.
In the second month, however, despite having enough friends, she still finds herself going back and forth to the past. There are times where she had her emotional episodes and she’s just thankful that Yunho’s been there for her always. She spent most of her time staying over Yunho’s place than she spent in her own place, telling each other stories that the other doesn’t know and just laughing her sadness away.
And in the last week of the second month, y/n decided to move over the empty condominium space beside Yunho’s as she reasoned out that she can’t stand the memories made in that apartment so she decided to move out. As Yunho helped her unpack with a fair share of giggles and laughter, that’s when Yunho realized that he’s healed.
In the last month of the year, which marks the fifth month after they met, Y/n seemed to go back to her normal self and Yunho saw her as a very giggly and carefree person. Yes, there were times where she remembers her ex boyfriend but instead of wallowing in sadness like she used to do, she started making fun of that memory that left her very broken before. The first time they spent Christmas together was when Yunho realized, he’s in love.
He’s falling for her and he’s scared.
He’s scared that the same thing will happen to him all over again. That after making her happy, she’ll leave him like how they did with him. Cancelling all his plans the day after that, he decided to voice out his concerns to Yeosang.
“Sang, I’m scared.” The first thing he blurted out with panicked eyes by the time Yeosang opened his apartment door.
His friend guided him to his couch and patted him in the back, “What happened, Yunho?”
“I..” he let out a deep sigh and he felt tears pooling in his eyes, “I’m falling for y/n, Sangie.”
A breath of relief rushed out of Yeosang’s mouth and he smiled warmly, “What’s so scary about that?”
“I.. I don’t know. Maybe she’s going to leave me like all of them did. Maybe I’ll get broken again but this time I won’t be able to pick myself up and–”
“Yunho, it’s not love if it doesn’t hurt.”
Yunho was dumbfounded by his friend’s words; he opened his mouth only to find himself closing it once again, making him look like a fish gasping for air.
Yeosang stared at him intently as he took a hold in Yunho’s hand, “Yunho, listen to me. Y/n, she’s thankful for you. Though I don’t know what really happened to her the day you met but I can tell that you helped her.”
“I assure you, y/n’s not the type to leave the only person she’s relying on. She’s too grateful to do that, used to be too broken to think of that. She’s not the type to put herself in the same situation that I’m assuming other people used to put her in. And I get it, you’re scared but Yunho, the happiness she gave you is not describable by words. It’s not just me who noticed it but the other boys as well. She’s different, one of a kind.”
“Give it a try and maybe she’s the right person for you.” Yeosang said as he put finality in his words, drowning Yunho in realization.
“Yeosang..”
“I know, you’re welcome. Now go home and fix yourself. I know you had fun staying up with her yesterday.” His friend pushed him out of his apartment door and before he completely left the place Yeosang called him out once again, “If things go wrong, we’ll always be here for you.”
And that made Yunho’s heart swell in happiness.
Except, when he saw her again, Yunho just chickened out and decided to avoid her like a plague and y/n is not dumb enough to not notice it.
January is their sixth month together and it’s also been a few weeks now since Yunho started avoiding her. It made her sad to the point that she ranted to Wooyoung and San on their separate group chat on how Yunho’s not talking to her and how it frustrates her.
Y/n, unlike Yunho, is aware of the feelings that bubbled up in her heart. The way she felt the butterflies on her stomach two months ago when she heard Yunho sing for the first time and she blatantly told herself that yep, she’s in love with her golden retriever-looking friend. She immediately told San and Wooyoung about it as the two boys called her suddenly and started squealing like high school girls in the duration of their call.
She thought that everything was going fine and she kept her secret well not until Yunho started avoiding her after they all spent the New Year’s Eve together. She started to get worried, thinking if she did something wrong.
Deciding that instead of wallowing in her own overthinking tendencies, y/n went to Yunho’s apartment and didn’t bother knocking as she punched his too familiar code at the door. It’s in the middle of the afternoon and she figured that maybe he’s still at his bedroom after experiencing one of a hell week because college already started again.
Opening his bedroom door silently, y/n saw Yunho laying down on his bed with his head turned to the side of the window. Eyes obviously blank and void of emotions. She silently made her way to his bed and jumped on it and shouted, “Yunho!”
“Jesus, you scared me!” Yunho exclaimed as his arms wrapped around y/n’s torso with his eyes wide, “What are you doing here?”
She laid on her stomach and giggled as she removed the hair covering her eyes, “I came to visit you.” She replied with a pout and she spoke once again, “You’ve been ignoring me since the year started, I miss you.”
Yunho stared at her incredulously and he tucked her hair behind her ears, noticing the blush spreading through her cheeks, “I’m sorry, I just have a lot of things in mind.”
She let out a huff making Yunho raise and eyebrow at her and she smiled, “I’ll listen to you this time.”
“Y/n–”
“Come on, Yunho. You helped me a lot so now it’s my time to repay you. Maybe talking can help you get your mind out of the gutter.”
Yunho just laid there silently once again thinking through things that can possibly happen. If he tells her, their friendship might either end immediately or she reciprocates his feelings for her. But then, he can hear Yeosang speaking in his mind.
Give it a try.
He watches as she fidgets with his fingers that are laying in his stomach. He stared at her eyes and it reflected the night sky filled with stars even if it’s the middle of the day. He let out a sigh making y/n look at him and giggle, “That’s a deep–”
“I like you.”
Y/n was dumbfounded for a while as she stared at Yunho with her mouth open making the latter laugh and guide his hand under her chin to close it. She stared at him still and it’s been a minute that passed by when he confessed and Yunho couldn’t help but feel nervous so he added, “I-I understand if you don’t like me back it’s just that–”
“Idiot.” She suddenly blurted out, as she sat down beside him from her lying position, cutting his words. Yunho looked at her confused, “Huh?”
“You’ve been avoiding me because you like me? What are you trying to do? Damage control?”
“Well, yes–”
“That’s dumb, Yunho.” She said as a matter of factly and Yunho’s eyebrows were knitted, “Look if you’re just going to roast me–”
“I like you too, you fucking dumbo. Are you going to kick me out?” Her words sounded confident which made Yunho stare at her in wonder. They were silent for a while and it’s enough time for Yunho to help his mind process her words.
Giggling as he did so, y/n looked at him confused, “Why are you giggling?”
“Come here.” He said as he pulled her beside him, y/n’a face tucked in his neck, “I really like you.” He said once again then chose to proceed, “I was scared that you’ll leave me like they did if I told you.”
She hummed, “I really really really like you too. I know when we first met that I was broken but that didn’t make me afraid to love. I won’t leave you like they did.”
Yunho smiled through her hair and dropped a kiss on the crown of her head, “Let me take you out on a date?”
“We still have some time today. We can go to Mrs. Kim’s coffee shop. We can visit an arcade then eat dinner out? Maybe do a little bit of shopping?” She suggested as she looked up and their gazes met. He smiled softly at her and hummed, “Sounds like a plan.”
“For now cuddle me here in your bed.” She said in a cute demanding voice causing a laugh to bubble out of Yunho’s mouth.
“Whatever my princess wants then she gets.”
She let out a squeal and squeezed herself tighter into him as if they weren’t too close enough yet. She thought about the first time she met the light of her life and remembered a very important thing they agreed on.
“Yunho?”
“Yes, baby?”
“Thank you.” He looked down at her and booped their noses together as they cuddled in the warmth of Yunho’s bed. Yunho, smiling like an idiotic fool, immediately knows the true meaning behind her gratitude because he feels the same, he’s thankful he met her that day.
Maybe Yeosang is right as well, she may really be the right person for him, and for the first time in years, this is the only relationship Yunho had that made him feel so happy and content.
thank you for reading!
#ateez imagines#ateez scenarios#ateez x reader#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez yunho#ateez mingi#ateez jongho#ateez seonghwa#ateez yeosang#ateez san#ateez hongjoong#ateez wooyoung#ateez au#jung yunho#yunho x reader#yunho fanfic#yunho angst#yunho fluff#ateez fic#ateez fanfic
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Grand announcement ❗❗❗
Yep you read that right and no this is not a joke, unfortunately.
Honestly is it that much of a surprise?
Um I don't know when I'm actually going to post this or if I will post this considering I've been debating on whether i should actually take time off of not. But depending on the date I post this, its either going to be one of two reasons or both.
LETS GO WITH THE POSITIVE ONE FIRST SHALL WE?
First of all, Happy Ramadan! My maids going back to her old village for the holidays so I'm going to have to assist my parents in babysitting more til she gets back. Therefore I will be too busy to post or update. Or maybe my parents plan an unexpected vacation or something and I'll be too busy to communicate with anyone on my phone.
Edit: I take it back my mom fired her when she caught some cigarette ashes in her room today (my maid went back to her village yesterday btw) and now we gonna get a temporary one that comes and goes everyday at the end of Ramadan LMFAOOO more chores for me then
Also, im posting this to just inform everyone I'll be okay and I'll return somewhere in the end of May or the beginning of June considering I promised a few moots to voice call then. Man, it feels weird speaking all serious like this. It feels even weirder that I'm not even using capslock lmfao.
Okay the other reason. Im not really thrilled to think that it's finally drove me up so far i have to take a break from everything.
If you can't tell from how I've been on and off lately uh like my mental health is getting bad. Like really really bad?
I won't go into much details but for safety stuff here's your trigger warning for ED, SH, Depression, Nightmares, etc. If you don't want to read this part you can scroll down until you see some random red statement I'll write later so you can see what I have to say before i leave.
Uh okay where do I start. To sum it all up basically, my mental health is in absolute ruins? At the moment?? Uh... It's been the worst it has been in the past three to four years? I don't know anymore. I can't sleep properly because I keep having nightmares of past su1c1d3 attempts and the outcome of actually succeeding. I can't eat properly anymore. My SH habits and my anxiety is coming back (every beginning of every month though so it wasn't as bad as way way when this started) and I trying my best to stop it again. I'm almost a month clean but I doubt that I can last more than that again because everything seems to get worse and worse. I cry myself to sleep because of my thoughts being so fucked up. I tried coming forward with this so many times to my parents and my teachers but they won't believe me, i can't do anything anymore except try to get better by myself. I can't bring myself to communicate with anyone anymore knowing full well that the only thing that's keeping me alive at this moment is socializing. I keep having flashbacks of when older men stalked me everywhere I went in the past. I lie awake knowing that nothing can bring me comfort except seeing that one idol who you all probably know by now. Im literally depending on him to keep me together during the day it's not even funny anymore lmfao.
I have to do endless chores, deal with all of this at once, catch up on two semesters worth of materials for my new school, deal with my graduation ceremony which is coming around this month or next month? Somehow I developed some type of anger issues the past year so haha that's great yuh no.
To stop you from worrying, no, I don't have suicidal tendencies anymore but I don't exactly have something to be thrilled living for. I'm just vibin in life at this point lmao
I'm just tired. I'm really really tired. Id lie awake crying my eyes out while listening to renjun voice audios. I'm tired of crying all the time and I'm tired of everything. Im tired of laying in bed overthinking and stressing bout things that wouldnt normally bother as much. I promise I won't do anything stupid
I won't be gone long. I'm not okay at the moment but I will be. Because at the end i need to be okay again. I'm giving myself time to heal again before something gets bad. I promise I'll come back from time to time. I promise I'll be okay again and I'll come back as that happy hyper renjun simp who swears and uses capslock, spamming memes or whatever.
I'm not comfortable opening up about anything that goes beyond too sad in my life so I'm just going to leave it at that
You can stop scrolling now. The triggering part is over.
Thank you for all the moots who decided to cheer me up unknowingly whenever I was having a mental breakdown. Thank you for reading up to here lmfao uh I don't know what to say? God Im a mess.
Dms on both tumblr and discord will be pretty slow. I'm sorry but I'll reply to my asks like a day or two after they're sent. I won't be posting much until June and I'm truly sorry for those who were waiting for the last chapter of idni, im taking this chance to also rethink the ending so I can somehow make it better than I originally planned it literally a year ago.
Damn broken English 101.
As I said before, I'll be okay when I get back. I'll be the happy hyper angie I always was and always will be when I return. I don't know when I'll post this but hopefully I don't haha. You don't have to be worried about me, this happened before and I always come back okay again. I'll be okay, I promise. I'll be back in a month.
Do what yall do and don't forget to tag me whenever you post any renjun fics haha. I'll miss you all, don't forget about me okay? Haha.
I'll be looking forward to writing again and hopefully I'll be mentally and physically healthy then. Hopefully I'll have my motivation in writing back again by then. I'll try my best to commit into getting better and being happy. Plus I wanna start an sm au but rn it doesn't seem very likely haha
I'll be contacting my networks bout this as soon as I post this.
Thank you and see you all later
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❛ FAMILY ❜
Headcanon.
with Neron ‘Creeper’ Vargas.
Request: Oooh yes yes yeah 😁 I show u take request 🙈 I would read something with Creeper dates a girl who already have 4/5 sons of a precedent relation. Maybe about how he create relationshion with their ? Like one love bike, another by playing football ? An the older is septic but one day he understand have Creeper for stepfather is having all Mayans for family. Sorry if it's sound to specific.
BY ANON
Warnings: none.
Word count: about 1.3k
Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!
Gif credits: to the author, I found it on Google.
Masterlist.
Creeper couldn't believe you were alone in charge of three kids, when you moved onto his neighborhood. And he knew you didn't have a husband around because he had never seen him.
The problem was when he realized he was in love with you, with your scent, with the sweet tone of your voice and with that smile which could stop a war.
“Wait, wait! Lemme help you, mama!”
You hear a voice behind you, making you turn around from the trunk of your car full of bags. A man covered with tattoos and a helmet hanging from his forearm, is walking towards you.
“Oh, no, no. Don't worry. It's okay”. You mutter somewhat ashamed with a fleeting smirk on your lips.
“Nah, ain't nothing better to do”. He just shrugs his shoulders, grabbing three bags in every hand and greatly surprising you of his strength.
“Than—Thank you…” You just say, taking the three left, before closing your car.
Walking in silence straight to the porch, you open the door with some difficulties making you both laugh until it finally opens. Following you to the kitchen, he leaves the groceries over the counter, having one quick look but without wanting to look like a creepy stalker.
“I'm (Y/N), by the way”. You say then, raising a hand at him hoping it's enough for a formal greeting.
“Neron”. The man answers, narrowing it softly, a little bewitched by your touch.
“Can I… maybe offer you a coffee or something…?”
Whenever you two were free of responsibilities, you used to sit on your porch to share some drinks and talk about work, or about your lives in general. And only when he knew that it could be something serious, he just talked to you about what he really does, one bit at time.
After some months, more or less, hanging out, you two decided to introduce him to your girls. Two twins of six years old and a pre-teen of fourteen. You were aware that he wouldn't have any problem with Lia and Marta. But Carlota was another history.
Since Creeper has sat at the table, after helping you to settle the table, you can see the younger whispering and chuckling with that kind of gesture that they use when they want to ask something, but they're too ashamed. Narrowing your eyes, as the man does, you look at them.
“C'mon, girls, spit it out”. You say with a funny smile on your lips.
“Can we color your drawings one day?” Marta and Lia ask in unison, pointing at his bare arms.
You can't help but laugh rubbing your faces.
“Sounds like a cool plan”. Creeper nods pretty convinced.
“Fuck this shit”. From her silence, Carlota drags backwards her chair, getting up to step out of the living room.
“Hey, mama”. Neron says grabbing your left wrist, when you're about to follow her. “It's okay. Give her time”.
“I can't let her behave like that”. You grunt sitting down.
“She is fourteen, baby. We both know what her father did. And probably she thinks I want to replace him, but it's not. She will see it, okay?”
The months kept passing by, taking the next step when you decided to live together. At this point he has already introduced you to his brothers, being more kindly than you thought. At least, they didn't thought that Neron was fucking out of his mind, for getting related with a woman with three kids.
Lia and Marta were delighted having him at home, playing with them whenever he had five minutes, or cooking pancakes on Sundays. And of course, letting your girls color all his tattoos.
Carlota, by the other hand, started to be hard-nose. Always locking herself in her dorm when she was at home. And it was breaking your heart, trying to talk with her about what was bothering her, even if you already knew. But the worst part was when the principal of his highschool called you to tell you about a fight that involucred your daughter with another three girls.
“Hey, mama, I got this, okay?”
What you didn't know is that Neron was already conscious about what was happening. So he was to take care of that business.
Your daughter was sitting on a bench in the peak time of finishing classes, crying unconsolable with her hands covering her burning face. She wasn't expecting the loud buzz coming closer, raising her blurry gaze to the road. Nine motorbikes made their appearance, getting parked backwards next to the sidewalks. The whole student body with their parents and some teachers turned at them, mostly whispering about how good those nine men looked. Taking off their helmets, Neron's brothers waited for him, having some cigs, while he started to walk towards your surprised daughter.
As soon as he was able to kneel close to her, he knew by just one look who were the other girls. He didn't say anything, standing up to lead his steps to the three families with their eyes fixed on the man.
“I know that your daughters are teasing my kid about me, about my club and about what we do. So, lemme tell you something, as parents you are, the only thing you want is the happiness of them. Keep it in mind. Because next time my kid comes back home crying, I will not be this… polite”.
The girls were trembling, hiding behind their parents who were terrified too because of his words. Showing them a fake smile, Neron turned around to your daughter to make her a sign.
“I want you to say ‘sorry’ to her, and promise that you will never gonna fuck her up again”.
“Sir, yo—”.
“Shut the fuck up, man. I'm talking to your ill-bred kids”.
“We… We're so—sorry, Carlota”.
Your daughter looked at him, clinging to his arm, pouting a little and pulling him back.
“Good. Never forget to be kind”.
That night, Carlota didn't stop talking about how scared everyone was because of Creeper, totally freaking out too about when he appeared with his brothers in such cool motorbikes.
It was almost two am when your boyfriend came from the clubhouse, a little tired and needed for a cold beer. Taking off his boots at the entrance, to not be noisy, he walks straight to the kitchen to grab one from the fridge. Opening it with not much difficulty, he has a sip turning to the island in the middle of the kitchen.
“Jesus fucking christ, Carlota…” He whispers with his heart racing. “What you doin'ere?”
“I couldn't sleep”. She just says, having another spoon of ice cream.
“At least, turn on the lights… You're gonna gimme a heart attack, kid”.
She laughs low, shaking her head, before getting up from the stool. Walking towards him without saying a single word, your daughter hugs Creeper wrapping his waist with both arms.
“Thank you for today”. She mutters resting her cheek on his chest.
Your boyfriend doubts for a second, not knowing if it's real or an illusion, but it feels so good that he could help her somehow. Hugging her back, the man kisses her head, smiling like a fool. Being happy to see that she's finally accepting him in her family.
“Listen, Carlota…” He says then, pulling himself away to leave the beer over the counter. “I don't wanna replace anyone, okay? We don't have to play this dad and daughter game. I wanna be your friend, I want you to trust me and talk to me about your problems, if you have some, okay?”
“Okay”. She just says. “I'm sorry if I hurt you ever”.
“Nah, it's okay, kid. I just want you to be happy”.
“I am, Creep'”.
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#mayans mc x reader#mayans mc#mayans mc imagine#mayans x reader#neron creeper vargas x reader#creeper vargas x reader#creeper vargas
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Howl - Ch 2
Chapter: 2/10
Add'l Notes: As usual, fic is like 6 chapters ahead on my AO3, WizardGlick
Chapter Content Warnings: N/A, ask to tag
Trying a new thing where I force you to read the first paragraph by not including it under the cut 😇
--
Virgil slept soundly and woke up unharmed in his bed. The relative cold of the morning air bit into his face, the only part of him that wasn't buried under his duvet. Still laying down, he wriggled into his hoodie and got up to make coffee. He mentally checked himself over while he waited for it to brew, staring blankly at the French press with stinging eyes. Damn, he must not have gotten all his vampire makeup off. Ah, well. His own absentmindedness was not a curse. Maybe he had escaped unscathed. Nothing hurt, save a normal soreness in his legs from standing around watching the Halloween parade, and a quick look in one of the many ornate mirrors decorating his walls revealed nothing abnormal with his face (well, except for the smudgy remnants of last night's eyeliner).
Despite this reassuring examination, he still spent the morning jumping at shadows. He rode his moped extra slowly and took time adjusting the straps of his helmet to make sure it fit perfectly. He examined the hanging sign ("Mystick Earth: ephemera for all ages") outside his workplace to make sure it wouldn't fall and kill him. He even took high steps on his way to the register to make sure he wouldn't trip over anything unseen.
But nothing bad happened.
In fact, nothing much happened at all until just past noon, when the brass bells on the door jangled and Logan stepped in, wafting the smell of warm bread and something sweet in with him.
Virgil didn't even realize he was smiling until his cheeks began to ache. "Hi," he said.
"Hello, Virgil." Logan wasn't looking at him; he was focusing on the paper bag hooked around one wrist and the drink carrier balanced in his other arm. "Forgive me for not asking first, but I wanted to surprise you."
"Here, you can set that on the counter." Virgil already knew what Logan had brought: banh mi, pho, and bubble tea from Sunrise, Virgil's favorite café.
Before he could talk himself out of it, Virgil pressed his hands on the counter and levered himself up to give Logan a kiss. He had always known that Logan was courteous and sweet under that somewhat stiff exterior; this wasn't even the first time he had done something kind for Virgil out of nowhere. But Virgil never could get used to being doted on. "Thank you, Logan."
Logan dropped his gaze, one hand coming up to fidget with his tie. "You're quite welcome."
The bells chimed again. Virgil looked up and caught sight of Roman, who had frozen in place. Catching Virgil's gaze, he straightened as though offended. "Well," he said, "I just came by to make sure Count Virgila survived the night, but it looks as though Casanova here beat me to the punch."
Logan turned. "Roman. I hope you've already eaten, because I only brought enough food for two people."
"I can take a hint," Roman said. Virgil raised his eyebrows at him expectantly, but Roman only raised his own eyebrows back, strode over to the counter, and stole a sip of Virgil's milk tea.
"I thought you said you could take a hint," Virgil said.
"I can," Roman said, "but I'm choosing not to."
Logan sighed through his nose and passed Virgil his sandwich. "I see no need to insist upon politeness if Roman is not going to return the favor."
Roman bumped Logan with his hip. "Really, I just came by to make sure Virgil's okay "
The bells jangled. Virgil looked up again, half-surprised and half-annoyed to see Janus, clad in the extravagant tailcoat he had to wear for work, pretending rather transparently to examine the display of tarot card-themed posters by the door. "Hi, Janus," he said, making no effort to hide his annoyance. Maybe this was the curse, to never get any alone time with Logan.
"Let me guess," said Roman, "you're here to check on Virgil."
"Of course not," Janus said, now pawing through the discount t-shirt display. Ugh, Virgil had just finished re-folding those. "Virgil's a big boy; he knows how to handle himself."
"Oh, yeah?" Virgil raised an eyebrow. "For all the money in the register, tell me what you came to buy and what you plan to use it for."
For the brief moment that Janus hesitated, Virgil allowed himself to hope that he had gotten one over on Janus. In all their years of friendship, he had admitted to being wrong exactly once. Virgil kept the date saved in his phone calendar and made sure to send Janus a card on the anniversary. But a moment's hesitation was all the satisfaction he got this time; Janus faced him properly, adjusted his tie, and said, "I don't know. I'm looking for a gift for Remus."
"Nice save," Virgil said. "We'll see about that."
"Oh, I don't know why you bother trying to hide it." Roman beckoned Janus over to the counter. "Look with your own eyes: he's fine."
"I combined like five different rituals last night," Virgil said. "And I'm doing another one once I get off work." He had already paid for the bottle and the string, knowing he had a hand trowel somewhere in the depths of his spider-infested shed.
Roman quick-drew his phone from his pocket and had himself posed for a selfie with Virgil almost before Virgil could process what was happening. "Smile," he said. "Patton made me promise I'd send him a picture."
Virgil flashed a peace sign. It was better to just go with it. Despite his bravado, Roman got his feelings hurt easily, and it was never fun to try to bounce back from that. "Are we done now?"
"Pardon us for caring about you," Roman said, sticking his nose into the air. It was such a Remus thing to do that Virgil nearly laughed, but he managed to hold himself together.
"Yeah, yeah, my friends love and cherish me, blah, blah, blah."
"Also," Roman read from his phone, "Patton says to tell Janus to come over soon so they can make cutting boards together."
"He was serious about that?" Janus looked helplessly at Virgil. Ah, yes, Patton had made the invitation last night and Janus, leaning back on social niceties, had agreed. "I thought he was just being nice."
"Nope." Virgil leaned forward across the counter and grinned. "Not only is Patton gonna make you make yourself a cutting board, you're going to enjoy it."
"We'll see about that," Janus said. He shook up his sleeve so he could glance at his watch. "Well, I should get back to Bienvenue. Those suits won't sell themselves."
He turned on his heel and made for the door so quickly that Virgil knew he was forgetting something. Ding. "Wait, but weren't you going to buy something for Remus?" he called.
"Sorry," said Janus, one hand already on the door. "Can't hear you, bye." And he was gone.
Roman bounced on his toes. "Alright, alright, I'll leave you two to it, too."
"Thank you kindly," Virgil said, metering the sardonic bite in his tone so that Roman wouldn't get offended.
Roman tipped an imaginary hat first to Virgil, then to Logan, and sauntered out.
"Finally," Virgil sighed. He looked up to find Logan staring at him with evident concern. "What?"
"Are you alright?" Logan asked. "I know you take this kind of thing seriously and I would hate for you to feel like I'm not supporting you just because I don't share your belief."
Virgil couldn't help but smile as an unfamiliar feeling spread from his stomach to his chest. Ah, the warm fuzzies. He couldn't even be mad about the damage to his dark and brooding image. "I'm okay, Lo. I did my stuff."
Logan smiled back: a small, shy thing. "I'm glad."
They were quiet for a moment. Virgil took small bites of his banh mi, careful to keep one eye on the door. It had been an unusually slow day, especially given that it was the day after Halloween. The denizens of Vaillant were superstitious enough that Virgil was rarely idle behind the counter of Mystick Earth. A few groups of people paused by the door, some even going so far as to peer in through the glass storefront windows, but no one came in. Virgil relaxed a little. "How's work? Catch anyone embezzling?"
"Not yet," Logan said, pushing his sleeves further up his elbows. Virgil tried not to stare at the few additional centimeters of skin this action exposed. What was he, a repressed Victorian? "I did notice a discrepancy in the amount we spent on office supplies, but it was only because someone had miswritten a 'seven' as a 'two.'"
"No office drama?" Virgil ribbed him. "Nobody stealing pens or making out in supply closets?"
"Unfortunately, we are a building of professionals." Logan paused, straightened his tie. "The light above my cubicle went out and I had to put in an email to maintenance to get it fixed."
"Man, I could never work in an office," Virgil said.
"Did anything interesting happen to you this morning?"
"Eh, I had someone looking to curse an ex, and I had to explain why that's not acceptable. I won't bore you with the details." Virgil took another bite of his sandwich and bounced the toe of his shoe against the floor. Was he doing this right? It had been so long since his last real relationship, and everyone knew what a disaster that had been. He liked Logan, liked being with Logan, but… Well, maybe he was freaking out over nothing. He just had to remember how to do it right, and then everything would be okay.
"Ordinarily, I would challenge the notion that you could ever bore me," Logan said, "but I do have to leave soon."
"Finish your pho," Virgil said, smiling. "I can tell you later."
They finished eating and Virgil again leaned up to give Logan a kiss, balancing his weight on his hands. His heart wasn't in it, his brain a few seconds ahead. Should he come over the counter and walk Logan to the door? What should he say? ‘I love you’? Should he grab Logan's ass?
"Did you hear me?" Logan asked.
Virgil feet hit the floor, the impact driving tingles up to his knees. "Huh?"
"Just saying goodbye," Logan said.
"See you soon?"
"Let's make plans."
Logan left. Virgil stared at the door for a while, happiness ebbing away into loneliness and doubt. A small, childish part of him wanted to insist that Logan stay. Forget work. They could go to the movies and get ice cream, have a proper date. And Virgil would find some way to communicate just how much he appreciated Logan.
--
Virgil: Thanks for lunch, Lo
Logan: You're welcome
Logan: <3
Virgil hadn't gathered up the guts to respond to Logan's text message yet. It was really pathetic, how a single emoticon heart had him blushing and panicking like a teenager.
He swung one leg over his moped, but kept his weight mostly on the ground. Hating the way his heart pounded, he pulled out his phone.
Logan: <3
Virgil: <3
Before he could freak himself out any further, Virgil got on his moped properly and nearly peeled out of his parking spot. He rode home in silence, shivering a little in the wind chill and dodging potholes.
The sinking sun lit up the thunderheads on the horizon until the whole sky on Virgil's left was blue-gray and luminescent. He stared, admiring the bald cypress and tupelo trees silhouetted against the dying light, until the road turned and faced him toward the darkness. By the time he got home, it was full dark. He parked his moped in the carport and settled in for a lonely evening of curse-breaking.
Virgil wasn't usually lonely. As an introvert with several boisterous extroverts in his friend circle, he usually jumped at the chance for some alone time. But suddenly Logan's absence felt like loss in a way it never had before, and Virgil longed to have him near. Even if he just sat quietly and watched while Virgil put his own spin on constructing a witch bottle.
He went to bed early that night, earlier than usual, unable to stand the emptiness of his old house. Even the creaks and groans, even the ambient sounds of outside, even the ticking of his mantle clock, seemed to fade away into intolerable lonely silence. So Virgil crawled into bed before midnight, clutching his hoodie to his chest.
He didn't sleep well.
Strange visions haunted his dreams, almost primal in their intensity. He was rage, he was fear, he was power. He knew the earth beneath his feet, knew the deep, rich smells of the forest. He knew the moon above. It was bright but waning, pale silver struggling through the clouds that smelled of rain. So unlike Virgil, whose strength was eternal and agonizing and all. He howled.
He woke up all at once, all his senses alight. Even without opening his eyes, it was obvious: He was outside. Not only that, he was naked in the dirt.
He opened his eyes and rolled over, sitting up slowly to examine himself. Clammy soil clung to his exposed skin. He brushed it off with a shaking hand. His nails were stained with it too, all muddy and broken. And he was sore, almost as bad as the time he'd try to go jogging with Logan.
Virgil let the panic wash over him and pulled his legs in close to his chest, wrapped his arms around them. Wrong, wrong, wrong, he had nothing, knew nothing and he was all alone in the woods.
He crested the worst of the attack and clenched his trembling hands into fists, resentful of the adrenaline still ruling him. At least he seemed unharmed; his skin was free of bruises and scratches. He was just dirty. He raised a shaking hand to his left ear, feeling along the back of it for any strange marks. Finding nothing, he checked his right ear. The skin seemed wholly undisturbed, but he would see about that later. Right now, he had more pressing things to worry about than potential alien abduction. For one, there was the matter of his clothes… He got to his feet, covering his groin with his hands despite the solitude. All that surrounded him were the early-morning birdsong and the rustle of the wind in the leaves.
Spinning in a circle, Virgil found a place where branches had been broken and the underbrush had been thoroughly trampled by something much, much bigger than he. With no other leads, he steeled himself and followed the trail. It was difficult going. He had to keep his head down to make sure he didn’t step on anything sharp, and his heartbeat remained sharp and painful and panicked, beating out what-ifs beneath his skin. What if he couldn’t find his way home? What if he got arrested for public nudity? What if he tripped and broke his leg and got stranded? What if something attacked him?
The morning breeze picked up and made him shiver, drawing him out of his panicked thoughts. He just needed to keep walking. He might not even have been that far from home. He lived on the edge of the woods, so it made sense that he was within walking distance of home, right? Well, maybe not, but the belief was all he had. So he believed that he was close to home, believed that he would be fine, and continued to tread the path of destruction through the woods.
He was closer than he’d thought. Soon, the sound of tires over asphalt reached his ears and he picked up the pace. Crossing the road was a nerve-wracking endeavor, not least because the speed limit was 55 mph. He hadn’t seen any of his clothes on the trek. What would people say if they caught him darting naked across the road like some kind of feral mountain man? Traffic was sparse, it was true, but with Virgil’s luck, a pickup full of country boys would plow into him and leave him in the ditch. What a pleasant thought for a Friday morning. Pushing his fear aside, Virgil sprinted across the road as fast as his abused feet and sore muscles would let him. The trail of trampled bushes and broken branches led directly to his house, as he had feared it might, and the destruction didn’t stop there. His front door was open, bugs buzzing around the light over his kitchen sink. Several of his end tables had been knocked over and various trinkets from his many floating shelves littered the floor. His ceramic incense holder lay in pieces by the magazine rack filled with his collection of old tabloids-- the tabloids were okay, thank goodness.
“Hello?” Virgil called. No one answered, and the house was silent. He crept into the bedroom. Ah, there were his clothes. The t-shirt he slept in had split at the seams and his boxers hadn’t fared much better. At least his hoodie was okay. He pulled it on and slipped into a new pair of boxers, exhaustion finally catching up with him. He needed to deal with this, like, really needed to deal with this, but his bed…
He face-planted into it, not even bothering to straighten out or pull his legs onto the mattress. Sleep now, unpack terrifying potential supernatural encounter later.
#the formatting on this seems off but i can't figure out why-- let me know if you figure it out#sanders sides#analogical#virgil sanders#logan sanders#spicywrites#spicywrites howl
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Hi!! I'm kind of in love with your writing and I was wondering if I could ask for a scenario with Oikawa or Iwaizumi where their s/o (preferably female if that's okay) is like super clumsy. And like everyone's like shes lucky to have him. And then like a really graceful like looks like a ballerina even when she trips girl starts hitting on him. This happened to me and I was wondering if it could end with them like completely shutting her down and being like. "I already got an angel~~" Thank you❤
Ahhhh I’m sorry if is taking me so long to write your requests!! But thank you sweetie, you’re so kind! Thanks for your request, here’s yours! I hope you like it 😘💘
-L
*・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*
Taken.
Iwaizumi Hajime x reader.
synopsis: there’s always pro and cons for everything, even being in a relationship with Iwaizumi Hajime. The pros? You’re dating Iwa. The cons? You’re not the only one thinking he’s perfect boyfriend material.
word count: 1.6 K
tags: fluff
~~~
"How is it possible that every step you take you stumble? Y/N-chan, are you sure you’re my sister?" Tooru asks you chuckling, and you show him your middle finger.
“Mean, Y/N-chan!”
"Oi Shittykawa, treat her better."
"But she's the one who started!" Liar.
What can you do if you're clumsy? You’ve never pretended to be even vaguely like Mr Perfection Oikawa Tooru, your brother. Unfortunately for you, almost no one ever remembers how completely different you and your brother are: you don't have the same grace that Tooru has in doing anything, you're not able to do everything and you don't get so spontaneous to start a conversation. It doesn't come naturally to you to expose yourself as much as he does, just as it doesn’t come naturally for you to trust anyone, whoever it is, so much so that you give a nickname to the stranger as soon as you meet him.
Even your parents tend to forget about it, trying to convince you to join some sports club: you remember well how, in the last year of middle school and throughout your first year in high school, both your parents and your brother had tried to convince you to join your brother’s club as the manager, but each time you gave him a clear no, sure that you didn’t want to deal with your brother for another two years 24/7. Sport is not something for you, you are a girl who tends to be quiet and you always have your head in the clouds. You're not your brother.
Although people around you seem to forget it, there's one person you know will never let you down. Hajime, unlike the others, knows that there aren’t more different people in the world than you and Tooru: since you were children, he’s always noticed the huge difference between you two; although you seem similar, you are the complete opposites. But he also knows how much it bothers you, how tiring it is for you to be sister of some kind of prodigy and for that he has always paid attention to how you felt, helping you whenever someone compared you to a person you are not and that you will never be. You’ve always liked yourself with your imperfections, then why can't people accept you as you accept yourself? Every time, Hajime was there, ready to help you. You started to realize that as long as he was with you, you didn't care about other people's opinion.
You bend over to pick your books while your boyfriend helps you and passes you some sheets that have fallen next to him, smiling and stretching out a hand to help you get up. You smile at him by thanking him as you bring back in your class the books you had in your arms, resting the phone on your desk and pulling out the lunchbox. Once you've taken everything you need, you get out of your class and join the two boys, taking Hajime's hand as you start walking to the schoolyard to eat your lunch together.
Since they were young, Hajime and your brother had always been inseparable, and that meant that you were also involved in their small group, both of them fearful that with that behavior of you, you wouldn’t make any friends. It was actually true: you didn't have too many, better few but good, right? Your world was full of people you really cared about, and that's what mattered most to you, especially if your little world also included Hajime and your brother.
"Then Y/N, how has been your morning?" the ace asks you, and you sigh exhausted, sitting on the bench next to him, not too convinced of how it went the math test you’ve just done.
"I think I hate math." Hajime giggles at your answer and you softly punch him on his arm, pretending to be offended, but immediately the boy carries an arm around your shoulders and gives you a kiss on your cheek.
"That’s the only thing you have in common with your brother. If you want, I can help you, you only have to ask. Why don't you stop at my house this afternoon?" he suggests with a smile, and you immediately look up at him with a smile, happy to spend more time with your boyfriend.
Being in his third year and having volleyball practices quite every afternoon, you noticed that unfortunately he is no longer as free as he was before and that he has now more and more things to do. But it’s not that much of a big deal for you; you know it's for his future and you're not going to bother him with some stupid girlfriend’s claim; from next year, with a bit of luck, he’ll go study in Tokyo and you'll have to accept a long-distance relationship and be prepared for it, before you can join him in the big city as well. Rather than a problem, you see the whole situation as an exercise in practicing and getting used to not being always together anymore.
"Hey, don't act like as I’m not here! I'm coming too!" Your brother complains and you take a look at him.
"Not gonna happen."
"What? Why?"
"Because Hajime is my boyfriend." You answer him seriously and he snorts as usual.
"So? He's my best friend."
"You’re not really best friends if it’s only you who thinks so." Tooru looks more offended than before as Hajime bursts out laughing and you watch him caught up by the sound of his voice: you love hearing him speak, but you love hearing him laugh even more. Every time you look at him you get dazzled by how beautiful he is: you feel so lucky that of all the girls in your school, he chose you. You feel so special.
You look in your pockets for your phone to take a picture of him, wanting to save the moment in your gallery: you know how much you will miss him, for that reason you try to create as many memories as possible. But unfortunately, the more you check the more you realize your pockets are empty and that there's nothing but a handkerchief and a pencil inside them. You snort annoyed at how distracted you are and you apologize to the two for going back to class and pick up your phone. You try to walk as fast as possible, not wanting to waste your lunch break time nor leave him alone: you have the feeling that in your absence, girls get bolder, flirting with your boyfriend even if they know he’s taken. You try not to pay attention to your thoughts, sure that when you’re back you’ll find only girls around your brother, as usual.
But you were wrong: after going down the stairs running with your phone in your hand, as soon as you take a step outside the building, you see them surrounded by four girls, probably from first year.
"Iwaizumi senpai, are you busy after school?" One of the four girls, that blonde one, comes forward, getting a little too close to Hajime, while Tooru, who has noticed you, looks at you worried, as if you could bite her. What a fool, you'd never do that. Don’t you?
"I'm sorry I have practice." you see Hajime replaying awkwardly as your brother tries to draw attention to himself, knowing how jealous you are and not wanting you to start any fights.
But the girls don’t give him a look and on the contrary, the blonde one takes even more confidence, sitting exactly in your place.
"And after practice? Do you have anything planned on your agenda?"
"I'm sorry, I already have a girlfriend."
"Are you sure?" She asks with puppy eyes and Hajime nods awkwardly, while she rests a hand on his arm. Immediately you feel anger rise inside you, but you try not to pay too much attention, after all you’re still at the beginning of the school year, maybe they don't even know you're dating, maybe-
"Well I don't see anyone here, are you sure you don't need a new one?" you pull up your sleeves, because there’s no way a kohai of yours dares to say some things to your boyfriend, but Hajime bursts out laughing and moves her hand away while she looks at him confused but almost hopeful.
"I'm sure I don’t. Oh Y/N, you're finally here! Where were you? I thought you got lost inside school." The wing spiker focus his attention on you, smiling happily, as you reach him waving your phone in your hand and the younger girls turn to you and move to let you pass.
"Sorry, can you please move? That's my place." You say seriously to the blondie who’s sitting next to Hajime and she, not even a little scared, gives you a fake smile.
"I don't think your name is written anywhere." She looks at you with an innocent smile. You'd like to take her by her arm and throw her across the school, but you decide to be smarter: you roll your shoulder and sit instead on Hajime's legs and without giving him time to say anything, you kiss him in front of the girl, only separating once you've seen the gruop leave.
"You know, you should get jealous more often." Your boyfriend tells you with an amused grin on his face and you put your harms around him, smiling with nonchalance.
"I think I could puke." You turn to your brother just as he's pretending to retch and you rolls your eyes. Too bad you have nothing to throw at him.
"Tooru you're so childish..."
"You’re the one to talk!" You hear Hajime bursting out laughing and you can't help but join him, hugging him and enjoying the sweet sound of his laugh.
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu#haiky?!!#hq#aoba johsai x reader#aoba j?sai#haikyuu imagines#aoba johsai#anime#iwaizumi#iwaizumi hajime#iwaizumi x reader#iwaizumi hajime x reader#iwachan#hq iwaizumi#haikyuu iwaizumi#aoba iwaizumi#iwaizumi oneshot#iwaizumi fanfic#iwaizumi scenarios#iwaizumi imagine
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We are not just friends — Part 16
Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)
Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.
Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually)
This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally.
Series masterlist
She didn't even look at him, just took another drag of the cigarette her hands were shaking. God, she didn't want to do this at all.
Chris sighed and walked up to her, maintaining his distance and Sofia looked up to him, locking eyes for a moment and everything came rushing for them.
"Hi," Sofia mumble and looked down again, putting one arm over her chest. "What's up?"
Chris chuckles and leans on beside her, putting his hand out for the cigarette and she gives it to him.
"Nothing, really," He said shrugging.
"You sure about that?" She quickly asked and absolutely regretted asking him that. Sofia chuckle. "Forget about it."
"I tried," Chris spoke putting the cigarette on his month. "And I can't get over you—
"Stop," Sofia quickly interrupted him shaking her head making Chris snap his head at her. "You shouldn't even be speaking to me."
"Why? it's always the same with you. You never want to speak with me, always shutting me out at whatever thing you feeling. I can't be open with you, never."
"This is about you repeating a behavior, as usual. Came to a party with some other bitch and here you are, talking with your ex whatever." Sofia said and looked at him. "Those this whole scenario doesn't feel like a fucking Deja Vu?"With that he remembered, she was right and he shook his head.
"It's not the same,"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, because I wasn't in love with her—
"Still, you bring her here knowing that I'm here. Witch, it's worse. What the fuck is your point? are you trying to hurt me?" She asked eyes getting glossy. "to prove me something?"
"She wasn't even supposed to be here,"
"She's still here."
"I'm not trying to hurt you," Chris said raising his voice a little. "I don't wanna hurt you, ever."
Sofia was shaking as her heart was jumping on her chest, she had so much shit to say to him. There were so many things on her chest.
"I know I said a bunch of crap to you, that u shouldn't have told you. I'm sorry for that, I lashed out at you and it was my fault because I'm an asshole." She grabbed the cigarette from his hand. "I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry."
"I know you are, I haven't been easy with you either, I know I just wanna do things fast all the time and I was too selfish, I'm sorry I stop speaking with you,"
"It just backfired," Sofia sighed, feeling her throat tighten. "All my doubts, the feelings I was trying to repress. Everything that I was trying to avoid by keeping you at arms lengths, it just…" Sofia wipes her tears quickly. "I didn't want to fall in love with you, I didn't want to be vulnerable because I'm scared of people that I care about leaving me. So, I pull shit like this all the time, not only with you. Mostly I don't care because I can manage on my own, but with you…"
"Sofia," Chris said softly but she didn't acknowledge him, just keet looking at her hands, millions of things going through her head. She didn't even know where to start.
"All that I think about it's you, even when I feel like maybe I'm getting better, maybe I'm gonna be me again—boom, Chris, Chris would have laughed at that, Chris would love this, I wish Chris would be here, Chris Chris Chris," Sofia explained.
"I feel that way too," Chris mumbled. "It's unhealthy how much I can't be without you."
"And it sucks, doesn't it?" Sofia mumble again. "I hate the hold you have in me, I hate that it bothers me so much that you were holding her hand when I saw you. It really hurt, I felt actual pain on my chest."
"She's…" Chris sighed. "it's not serious with her, we are just… We've dated before, very briefly."
"You don't have to explain anything to me, in fact, I think the one that probably needs an explanation it's her," Sofia said getting off the wall and extinguish the cigarette on the wall.
"She knows," Chris said looking up, trying to get her to look at him but she was just avoiding his eyes. "I'm sorry I bring her, it was a dick move."
"Yeah, it was." She sighed again and finally looked at him. God, he was so fucking beautiful, she just wanted to reach out and touch him. "You're a good man, Chris." Sofia bit her lip, barely containing the tears. "I'm sorry I'm too fucked up—
"You're not fucked up," He reaches out and grabbed her hands, Sofia was too weak to pull away. "Look at me," He spoke softly to her and she did. "You're not fucked up, not for me, not for everyone. You're an amazing woman, outspoken, proud of who you become against your shortcomings. You deserve patience," He said wiping a tear that fell on her cheek.
"I hurt you and you're here praising my ass. You're crazy," She said and Chris laughed, pulling her even closer.
"Yeah, crazy about you." He said sliding his hand on her arms, she was cold. "as I was saying, you're amazing, you deserve all the time in the word and I wanna give you that."
Sofia looked at him, trying to find that but there wasn't. "You still wanna be with me?"
"Yeah, I never stopped wanting that. I never wanted it to end," He nods, grabbing her hands as she looked down at their fingers.
"I'm scared,"
"I know, honestly… me too," Chris shrugged. "But I don't wanna end this because of that, you're worth it."
"I don't wanna think about this now," She sighed still looking down at their hands. "Not when she's… here and it's Mandy and Luke party, we shouldn't out of respect for all of them." Sofia took a step back and pull her hands out of his.
"Yeah, you're right…" Chris sighed, rubbing his beard. "I'll speak with her, let her know and then we'll talk. What you think about that?"
"Okay," She nods looking at the door. "I should," She pointed at it.
"Me too," He said and bit his lip before she could even make it to the door. Chris grabbed her and plant a kiss on her lips, Sofia felt her knees buckle and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"God, I've missed you," Sofia said against his lips.
"I love you," He mumbles back and she just kissed him deeply. Chris pulled her close and Sofia just felt weak, she wanted him so much all the time.
"We shouldn't be doing this," She mumbles, and Chris sigh, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
"I know," Chris said. "I know we have to talk things first, figure it out… I just, can't help myself"
Sofía smile and hugged him and they stood there for a little while. Just hug it out for the time being.
~~~
"So she left," Scott told Chris as soon he rejoined him, Chris frown and let Scott elaborate. "With some very attractive gentleman, said she's gonna pick up her luggage in the morning,"
Chris made a face but couldn't be bothered, actually, this was pretty good… considering he just was kissing the actual woman he wanted to be with.
"And you have lipstick all over your mouth," Scott pointed out hiding a smile. "You two finally talk."
"A little," Chris said looking at Sofia who was happily dancing with Amanda's dad. He smiles at the scene, "We agree that we're going to figure it out."
"Fucking finally, mom's dying to meet her." Scott smiled as he affectionately punches his arm making Chris laugh.
"I'm telling you this, I'm going to marry the fuck out of her someday."
"Yeah, mom's gonna love her as we do." Scott smile.
~~~
Sorry I took so long!
Tag list:
@smediumsmeatbae
@lunaticbarnes
@firstangeldragonranch
@lovepeacefood
@thegirlwithpaperheart
#chris evans#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans x female reader#chris evans x y/n#chris evans x poc!reader#chris evans x latina!#chris evans fluff#chris evans x ofc#chris evans x original female character#chris evans x reader#Chris Evans x reader#Chris Evans x original females character#Chris Evans angst
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Head In The Clouds
Request by @ infinitew-olf : You👏know👏I'm👏always👏thirsty👏for👏some👏RKs👏 (I hope I'm not spamming you tho) how about RK900 X Reader where she's just an airhead who's completely clueless to his pining after her (he is getting frustrated and possessive 👀)
Pairing: R900, Nines x reader.
Warnings: Pining, badly written fluff I’m sorry.
word count:1407
A/N: The RKs thirst never ends, thanks for requesting this and you’re not spamming me at all! enjoy reading it, love :)
Nines was rather cold compared to his predecessor, RK800. He lacked the humanity Connor had, even after his deviancy. He wasn’t created to be social or friendly, after all. He is a combat android or was a combat android.
He worked in the D.P.D and served as detective Gavin Reed’s partner. The man was difficult, constantly acting like a toddler and lashing out every other minute. It did nothing but annoy him. Hank was their superior and a man with his fair share of personal issues, but he was a good lieutenant none the less.
Connor, on the other hand was his counterpart. He was full of all kinds of emotions; he was more human than most humans. He wasn’t, a part of Nines felt as if he was stuck being a soulless machine, he didn’t feel human enough. And for the longest time, it hadn’t bothered him, not at all.
Then she came along, she just had to ruin it all.
She was a new member of the D.P.D, a bright young officer. She didn’t mean anything to him first, just a new face around the office, nothing more. That changed when she was assigned to help him and Reed on a case.
She wasn’t the best asset, but he could see she was trying her best despite her inexperience. It didn’t change the fact that she caused unnecessary inconvenience. Gavin was much more outspoken with his criticism, to which she responded with a simple ‘Okay.’
Her company became constant after that, with her occasionally dropping by his desk to say hi. It became an everyday thing after that, and they eventually began having actual small conversations. It was nothing deep or personal, just two D.P.D workers discussing their jobs.
But before he knew it, it had changed into something more for him. It became a routine; he grew used to her soft greeting and short talks. Their conversations gradually transferred to more personal ones.
She would ask him about his day, what he liked and disliked, how the hell he put up with Reed. It was an entertaining conversation.
She told him about herself, shared details of so many things; her home life, her hobbies, her pets. It was quite endearing, seeing her excitedly ramble about those things that shouldn’t matter to him.
He felt something; this strange sense of attachment filled him. He wanted her to talk more, he loathed seeing her go back to work away from him. He felt.
It was new, it was strange, it was scary. He didn’t know how to best deal with the million thoughts that swamped his artificial brain. He continued to stare at his terminal, his thoughts somewhere else entirely.
“Nines?” she called, and he looked up. “I’m gonna go get lunch, you wanna tag along?” he stared for a moment then nodded, getting up and walking by her side.
Nines could feel himself heat up as he gazed at her, his vision focused on her and only her. She was giggling with Connor. His pining had only gotten worse, now deeming it impossible to see her with anyone else. His attraction to her wasn’t logical, he thought, he still did not understand how things ended up like this.
Him, hopelessly smitten by this ordinary woman who was nothing an aloof mess, her not noticing anything and enjoying her time with others. It made his chest ache.
He did not own her; she wasn’t something for him to control or claim. He knew that and fully realized it. Then why did he feel this sudden urge to take her away from this crowd, to make her see what he felt, to make her his?
It wasn’t logical, then again nothing he did was. He approached her unconsciously, “Officer ____” She turned and flashed that same pleasing smile, “Nines, I told you to drop that ‘officer’! we aren’t at work.” She scolded.
“I apologize.” He said, looking the RK800 who looked between them suspiciously. “Oh, that’s Miller and Jess, I’m gonna go say hi.” She said and left the two. Nines gaze lingered on her until she disappeared into the crowd.
“You like her.” It was more of a statement, “I beg your pardon?”
“You like ____.” Connor was grinning, Nines did not think he would be that easy to read. “I do not, that would be unprofessional.”, Connor laughed, “You were watching us talk, you could’ve killed me with that look alone.”
He didn’t respond, only glaring at him through a side glance. “You should talk to her about it.��� Nines scoffed, right. “I’m serious, you can’t keep scaring away her potential lovers like that.”
He was right. He was scaring them away with his expression alone, he couldn’t help this burn in his chest whenever someone got too close. He felt terrible, this was wrong, he didn’t have the right to do it.
He didn’t what else to do, he wanted to be the one to hold her close, to laugh with her but something was stopping him from even trying to reach that. He was afraid, afraid she would not feel the same.
She was also rather oblivious to how she affected him.
“Wow, your hand is really warm.” She said as she wrapped her hand around his, not realizing the cause of his heat was her.
“Hey, I brought Connor along, hope you don’t mind.” She said as she brought him to what he thought would be a private reading session.
“There is only one bed left, but it’s big enough for the two of us.” She said, they ended up sharing a room on a stakeout before, she didn’t look bothered by it at all. He opted to stay up all night instead.
God, how could someone be so... unaware?
“Nines, Nines!” She held his hand, Connor smiled and excused himself, leaving them alone. “Listen, I found this amazing spot, come I will show you!” She said and pulled him, leading him through the crowd and into a small door; it was a small balcony.
The view was breathtaking, there was a soft breeze and the music from the inside was now muffled. She stood next to him; his eyes went from the view below to her. She was staring at him, “It’s beautiful, right?”
“Yes, it certainly is.” He muttered. She somehow looked even prettier now. “I’m glad to be sharing this with you.”
“Me too.” It went quiet after that. he tried to keep a straight face.
He felt a little bit of reassurance. “Can I tell you something?” she looked at him in wonder but nodded nonetheless, “I…” He paused, gulping the invisible lump in his throat, “I like you.”
“I like you too.” Was their immediate answer, but their expression hadn’t changed. “No, I like you, ___.” He emphasized the ‘like’, wanting her to understand his confession.
“Aw, I like you too.” They said and patted his shoulder; Nines closed his eyes. “Nines?”
“I love you; I absolutely adore you, with all my heart. Not in a platonic sense.” He knew he would lose it if she somehow did not get it now. “Oh.” Was her low response.
“Oh,” she said, louder this time. The look of surprise on her face made him want to forget this ever happened. “I apologize if I made you uncomfortable, I will go back inside.” He said and he turned to leave but she caught his arm, pulling him toward her.
“Wait, I feel the same!” Her heart was racing, he could hear it. “What?”
“I’m not good at this stuff, shit.” She cursed and paused to collect herself, “This explains the whole glaring at everyone like an angry puppy thing.” she said to herself and rubbed the bridge of her nose. Nines just looked at her fumbling to get her words out.
“I like being around you, Nines, you’re special to me.” she finally said and looked at him, embarrassment was written all over her face. “I won’t mind being more than just friends, I would love to, actually.”
Nines blinked, once, twice, thrice. These were the words this troublesome human made him crave for a while now but now that it was finally real, he didn’t know what to do. So, she moved in, wrapping her arms around him gently and resting her head on his chest.
He wanted to feel this way forever.
#rk900 x reader#dbh nines#dbh imagine#lmao i tried idk what nines personality is like rip#Rk900 imagine#i need sleep
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