#look being signed up online means people might somehow see it

[britcision]

Got to talking about NaNoWriMo with a friend the other day and it’s so funny how oppositely our matching ADHD asses went about it

They’ve been writing the same story every year, doing 1k words a day when they can, and sometimes rewriting, but always signed up and putting words on the website. And, y’know, haven’t hit 50k in one month yet because that’s how 1k works

I shoot for 2k words a day because that means I can have up to 5 days off, write something different every year, and have absolutely never even signed up to the website at any stage. I have passed the 50k mark I think twice in 17 years, but neither got to the end of the story

And I mean, if I was doing the website every day, I absolutely couldn’t do 2k words/day. It’d take the time and energy away from the writing and it’s hard enough to just maintain?

We do both do fanfic for it though, which is fun, but we wound up just looking at each other like “I could simply never do it the way you do I could not function”

[deandoesthingstome]

Gothic Fantasy

Pairing: Vampire!August x Reader

Summary: Are you in over your head, little girl?

Word Count: 6.1K

Warnings: 18+, NO MINORS, exhibitionism, oral sex (m and f receiving), spanking, p in v (doggy style), anal toy/anal sex, dom!August, Sir and princess, monster fucking (which involves at least one bite, right?).

Fantasy Hotel Masterlist

You took your time with a little extra research, but the ancient myth vibe of the story you created out of your experience with Sy was a hit and your werewolf!boyfriend tale had been picking up steam thanks to the upcoming holiday. Subscriptions were rolling in which left you both excited and anxious. 

sendmeanangel: i have enough to cover at least two more stays even if nothing more comes in at this point MNstrluvr: how could nothing more come in?  sendmeanangel: look, i’m having a great time, but at some point in my life i should probably stop paying for monster sex and get a boyfriend, right? darkgothnightengale: that time doesn’t have to be right now. Besides, how will you ever go back to some regular guy? sendmeanangel: very funny. This can’t be a sustainable way to go through life. I just worry people will start feeling like they are owed new monster fucking tales every week because they subscribed to read the ones already out there. I don’t want to let people down or make them think they got played somehow MNstrluvr: what if when you get to the point where you think you're through, you make that clear to any new subscribers? And just because you aren’t fucking a new monster at the hotel every week doesn’t mean you can’t keep writing amazing stories that your followers will love darkgothnightengale: you can write whatever you want when you want. There’s nothing on the site that promises content on any kind of consistent basis and people can always stop subscribing if they feel cheated, which is stupid because they are still getting quality content. you have a voice that people like to read. It doesn’t have to be about shapeshifters or vampires sendmeanangel: speaking of which MNstrluvr: YES!!! I’m so glad you decided to try him next. I cannot wait. He looks so fucking hot sendmeanangel: yeah, well walter continues to be completely booked. besides, they all look fucking hot lol MNstrluvr: there’s just something even more dangerous in his eyes. He looks totally unhinged. In a good way. darkgothnightengale: the best way sendmeanangel: you guys are crazy

“It's lovely to see you again. Thank you for signing the T&C online this time. I hope you had a chance to look through the extra restrictions on this room. It's very important that they are adhered to.”

Were you being called out? Did the hotel somehow know your two previous hosts had broken rules for you? Hopefully no one was getting into trouble.

“We simply don't want any mishaps,” as if in answer to the questions swirling in your mind. Though it still didn't tell you if they knew.

The desk clerk handed you another heavy iron key. Where the mechanism to open the forest room last month had been fairly plain and rustic, this one was filled with intricate lacy patterns. You wanted to snap a picture of the antique gothic skeleton key and send it to your online friends but decided it might be too much like bragging. After all, this would be the third fantasy visit they'd talked you into. Not that you needed much prodding anymore. That they couldn't partake in reality was making you feel bad, no matter how happy for you your friends said they were.

You made your way down the hall after exiting the elevator and stopped before the heavy wooden arched door full of intricately carved details that matched the key in your hand. The room was dark when you stepped in, but before you could reach for a light switch, a deep voice spoke from across the room, sending a cold shiver down your spine.

"You're late."

"I only just checked in."

"And no apology, I see. It's five after. We were to start on the hour. I assumed that was clear, but maybe I'll need to remind you of the importance of punctuality during our time together."

A finger snap sounded from the place in the dark where you heard the voice and flames lit up a fireplace nearby. Your eyes were drawn there, hoping the glow of the flame would illuminate your host, but no one appeared. All you saw was the carved stone of the mantle and wrought iron candelabras filled with fat pillars that were lighting one by one as if by magic as well.

As the warm light began to bathe the room, you felt a rush of air behind you and heard the door to the room slam shut. You turned to see nothing again, though you heard the click of a lock.

"Did you at least come prepared?" the voice sounded near your ear, though again, no one was to be seen as you spun once more to face into the room.

"I did," you answered into the space in front of you, even as you peered left and right. Where the fuck was he?

“Right here,” he spoke from behind you again, and this time you could see as well as feel the hands that gripped your upper arms and held you tight against the solid form behind you. You glanced at the fingers curled around your biceps and licked your lips, thinking of where you’d rather have them. Caressing your face. Around your throat. Thrust deep inside…”Before we get there, I believe you owe me an apology.”

And now you had a choice. How would that apology go? Remain standing like an insolent brat or kneel to the man you wanted to dominate you this evening? Not that he wouldn’t dominate the brat as well, but maybe you didn’t need it to be so demanding this first time. His fingers loosened as you began to turn toward him but you sunk to your knees before you saw his face, so it wasn’t until you lifted your chin to plead forgiveness that you had the opportunity to drink him in.

He was dressed in sharp black pants with a crisp crease down the front of each leg. A neatly pressed black button up shirt with french cuffs and mother of pearl links sat behind a black silk brocade vest with mother of pearl buttons. In the light, you couldn’t tell for sure, but the pattern in the vest seemed to match the key as well. A blood-red silk tie paired with a handkerchief peeking from the front of his jet black jacket that set off his broad shoulders nicely and was buttoned at the right height to taper his waist.

But his face. You inhaled to keep yourself steady before you spoke the words requesting his forgiveness. The calming breath helped you take in more of his visage without fainting on the spot. 

His jawline was strong. And unlike the fuller beards of Walter or Sy, this man’s facial hair consisted of a five o’clock shadow and a neatly trimmed mustache. His dark hair was swept back to the side, though you could tell if he hadn’t styled it perfectly, the curl would take over. You’d love to see it sometime. Maybe even tonight.

What caught your breath in your throat was his piercing blue eyes and it took you a few moments to realize he was laughing at you. You had to fight to gain control from his mesmerizing gaze, but before you could ask him to repeat himself, he already was.

“I said," Apology accepted” and you can stand now, princess. Show me what you came with.” He helped you to stand, then drew his hand down your arm as he took a step back. He dropped your hand and motioned toward you before he crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head as if to say “go ahead now.”

You took a deep breath, suddenly unsure if you’d made the right ensemble choice. Though it matched his outfit perfectly somehow, you were hesitant to bare so much to him so soon. But there was no turning back now. Well, of course there was, but you didn’t want to. At best, you could imagine excusing yourself to use the restroom and changing into a different outfit.

You undid the belt on your long, black trench coat, then popped the buttons one by one until you could open the flaps and shrug the coat off your shoulders and down your arms. You were about to let it drop to the floor, but something made you stop and hold the fabric in your hands at your sides.

“May I take your coat?” he asked like the gentleman he was portraying, holding out a hand and you reached it over to him, before smoothing your hands down the body of your black strapless gown, worrying away the non-existent wrinkles. A few blood-red rose embellishments nestled strategically into the delicate embroidery woven along the sheer black lace bodice of the dress, your bare skin visible only in the spots where no design was found. You released the clasps attaching the hem of the dress to the waist and allowed the full length of the black silk skirt to flow to the ground. It sported a trail of matching but larger floral adornments cascading in spiral from one hip across the front and down the other side. With the matching red silk pumps, you were a vision. You felt a rush of air and as you lifted your gaze from your dress back to him, your coat seemed to have disappeared, because it was no longer in his hands. And the look on his face told you you’d made the right choice.

“You look ravishing.” At his words of praise you forgot all about where your coat might have gotten off to.

“Is this okay?”

“If this is the attire you wished to begin in, then it’s perfect. We’ve already lost so much precious time with your late arrival.”

You stood silent, unsure if he was asking for another apology. It seemed like a bad idea to let him actually ask before you offered another, but your voice was stuck in your throat, so taken were you by his demeanor. It turned out you were wrong to wait.

“I don’t like to ask for apologies, but trust that I will whenever they are warranted. Hopefully, you’ll begin to know when you’ve crossed a line. I suppose technically, you have already apologized, so I won’t ask for another. This time.” At the admonishment, you dropped your gaze to the floor with embarrassment. “I also ask your forgiveness for my rudeness. So many lessons you’re learning already and you don’t even know my name yet. Allow me to correct that. My name is August Walker and it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance finally.”

What did he mean by finally? Here, now, in this room when he finally shared his name and lifted your arm to kiss the back of your hand? Or had he heard stories about you too? 

“May I add something to your ensemble?” You could practically hear the subtle tilt of his head in question.

“Of course,” you replied, willing your nerves to allow you to look up at him again.

“It's only, well, you look so delicious. I'm afraid I'll need a reminder, or rather, a deterrent.” His hands raised, something appearing between his fingers as if from nowhere. You noticed a wide band of heavy black embroidered ribbon with metal clasps at each end. Your chin tilted almost involuntarily to allow him room to place the choker around your neck.

“You don’t want to…?” Was he not going to bite you? Did you make a mistake by not actually reading the T&C when you signed, scrolling quickly to the end of the form and checking the box as fast as you could to make sure the room wasn’t swiped from under you before you’d had a chance to complete the online booking.

“I never said that,” he replied, stepping in closer as he traced a finger around one side of your neck, down over your collarbone, and stopping just at the valley between your breasts.

“Is there a rule you’re afraid of breaking with me?” you asked, craning to bring your lips closer to his.

“I don't break the rules darling, I make them.” August returned his hand to your neck, stilling your advancement with the smallest effort.

“Well then, are you unable to actually bite me?” you asked, not sure whether you wanted him to consider this a question that crossed the line.

“Oh, I'm free to bite when and where you want. Many foolishly ask for the neck. In those moments, I usually oblige.”

“But…” you began.

“But there is a sweeter spot, more delicate, most delicious. This,” he let his finger run along the material around your throat, ”will help me make the better choice for both of us.”

You drew in a quick breath through your nose, causing a shudder in your shoulders as you realized you’d been holding your breath while he hinted at where he’d prefer to bite you. You’d chosen the dress specifically because it bared so much of your body near your neck that you’d hoped he couldn’t help but want to taste you. You foolishly never considered how much more bare you’d need to be before he was able to see the spot he wanted.

His dark chuckle unnerved you, but he quelled your apprehension with an invitation to join him at the dinner table. You’d completely forgotten that this experience had promised an evening meal, but honestly you assumed that was just some clever play on words. That you were to be the meal. He escorted you to a corner of the room near the fireplace, where a sumptuous feast had been set, and deposited you on one side of the table before taking a seat across from you.

“Would you care for some wine this evening?”

“Wine sounds lovely,” you answered, suddenly curious if he’d be drinking and eating with you. You watched as he lifted a decanted red and filled your glass, only to replace the crystal container onto the table before pouring a glass of his own from a dark brown glass bottle. He lifted his glass to toast your evening.

You watched carefully as he brought the goblet to his lips and drank, noticing that no obvious fangs appeared as he opened his mouth, though his canines did seem a little longer than you were used to. At least until recently that was. The men at this hotel all seemed to have been genetically gifted with glorious canine teeth and you weren’t complaining in the least.

“Now, what can I offer you to eat?” Cut fruit sat in open bowls alongside a tray of sliced meats and cheeses. He began to lift the covers off several porcelain serving dishes, revealing chicken and beef dishes, as well as vegetables and roasted potatoes. At your hesitancy, he smiled, as if extremely pleased, and continued. “Or would you prefer I choose for you?”

“I’d like it very much if you would recommend something. It all looks so wonderful.”

“Would you pass me your plate?” You obliged and he ladled servings of a few of the dishes. You noted with curiosity that he was choosing everything you would have chosen for yourself and none of the items you’d already determined you didn’t want to try, though you hadn’t said a word.

You thanked him as he handed your plate back and he invited you to begin, which you did. Because he’d asked you to. As you took your first bite, you moaned at the taste in your mouth and you thought you saw him lick his lips. What you didn’t see him do was serve himself.

“Is it to your liking then?” he asked.

“Oh, it’s delicious, thank you August…may I call you August?”

“For now. Now, what shall we talk about at this very civilized dinner we’re having together?” he asked, as he leaned back in his chair, goblet in one hand, as the fingers of the other drew lazy circles on the tablecloth. 

“Can we talk about how it doesn’t appear you're actually going to be eating with me?” You knew it was a bold question, but you still wanted to needle him a little, see where the line was.

“You see, it’s the insolence I mind. Not the question. There is a way to go about asking what you want to know without making it seem like you are trying to anger me. Or are you? Hmm?”

“I’m sorry, August,” you spoke as you placed your fork down. You had a sudden, unfortunate thought. What if you weren’t the only one who could call the whole thing off? What if your hosts had just as much right to pull out a safeword and end the liaison? You supposed, even though you were paying for the pleasure, they had to have a say in things as well. Otherwise, they were just…the thought made you shudder and not in a good way. “I am truly sorry. That was rude of me. Are you able to eat with me?”

“I am not. But I’m more than happy to enjoy your company and a more pleasant conversation while you dine. If you agree, of course.”

“Of course. Please, can we start over?”

“Pick up your fork and take a bite,” he commanded. “Continue your meal. And consider what you would like to talk about.” He took another drink and watched you with deeply penetrating eyes.

The meal was delicious and you finally figured out a topic of conversation that was neither too personal nor banal. When you made him laugh, you felt a small weight lift off your shoulders, as if his heavy and dark demeanor had made you nervous that this choice of hotel hosts was a mistake.

You had always been a bit enthralled with vampires. Loved reading Dracula both as published and in chronological order, as you’d heard about on Tumblr. Enjoyed the myriad of cinematic adaptations of the tale, especially the ones that played up the sensuality of the character. You really never imagined them to be real, but then again, you didn’t think werewolves or minotaurs were real either. For a brief moment, you thought back to your previous visits, letting your fork trail down with a slow descent.

“Finished?” he asked when your utensil hit the plate, eyebrow raised in question as he leaned forward preparing to scoot his chair back from the table. Before you’d even finished your nod, he was at your chair, easing it away from the table and offering you a hand to help you up.

“I think it’s quite time to get started on the rest of your lessons. Would you step to the window please?”

You turned and noticed the thick, black velvet curtains and assumed they must cover a window. You were commanded to open them, and you did, peering out into practical darkness only to see your reflection in place of any scenery. You glanced to the side of your image when you felt the fingertips at the top of your zipper, but though you knew they were attached to arms, attached to a body that was pressed right against you, adding more drag to his knuckles against your skin as he pulled the zipper down, you saw nothing in the mirrored window that would tell you another being was in the room with you.

You gasped, but he mistook it for shyness.

“I like to show off my conquests to whomever may be passing by below. We’re far enough up that no one could make out a face, but the body they’ll see,” he finished unzipping your dress and pushed it down your sides, letting it drop to a puddle of fabric at your feet. “The hint of red from these barely there panties, the silhouette of these curves.” You could feel but still not see his hands running up and down the sides of your body, his hands gripping your thighs before traveling up to cup your breasts. You watched as they bounced lightly in the reflection and smirked back at where you assumed his face would be before licking your matte red lips.

Your concentration was broken for a brief moment at the far off sound of a melancholy howl, but August didn’t let you linger on the thought. He spun you around to him and pressed you back toward the window, where you hissed when your ass came into contact with the chilly pane. How he missed the clink against the window, you’ll never know.

Then he caught your attention and you lost all concern for how exposed or cold your body might be at the moment. The change was practically imperceptible. One moment, he held your gaze with his dark and stormy eyes. In the next blink, his eyes burned red and held you rapt as he began to grin. Slowly, as his lips drew back, the fangs descended and you could swear you heard a faint click.

You probably let out a whimper when you saw him run his tongue along the sharp points and you definitely tilted your head on impulse, forgetting for a moment that he had already refused to take you there.

“I’d like you on your knees, please,” he asked, a little nicer than you imagined he had reason to be. Once you had obliged, he returned to commands. “Take me out.”

You did so gladly and without delay. Every assumption you made turned out to be right. He was just as well endowed as your other hosts, at least in human form. Which was nothing to sneeze at and you certainly weren’t kicking it out of bed.

You feasted on him as if you hadn’t just already eaten and you were happy to hear the sounds from him that told you he was enjoying it. And then he spoke to you.

“You like sucking on this cock, where everyone can see you, don’t you?” 

Truth be told, it had never occurred to you before. But there was an exhibitionism option on the registration form and you clicked it in a moment of audacity. He was simply giving you what you had asked for, right? It would feel this way for any guest he had in this room, right? That feeling of being out of control while technically being in the most control? You wanted him to take it.

“Yes,” you gasped as you pulled your head back for air before diving forward to take him down your throat again.

“I knew that you would. You like being naughty, don’t you?”

You bobbed your head up and down as you looked up at him, praying he didn’t make you take him out of your mouth just so he could hear you answer verbally. Your prayers were not answered.

“I asked you a question. Would you care to answer? Now? You know how I feel about punctuality, I trust.”

“Yes. Yes August, I’m sorry. I do. I really do like being naughty with you.” 

Another howl sounded, closer this time and you thought you detected the slightest of eye rolls before August got stern again, reaching down to take hold of your upper arm and lifting you to your feet with ease.

“You’re going to call me Sir from here on out and you’re going to be naughty another way now. First, close the curtains.” He spun you around so you could grab hold of the panels and draw them towards one another. You thought you glimpsed a pair of eyes, a deep glowing amber flame in the night before you shut out the world for good for the moment.

August pulled you close and whispered in your ear, “I’ll open them again if you want, if you didn’t get enough of a taste of that. I’ll take that as far as you want to go. But you should know,... he’ll see.”

It both excited you and made you afraid. Afraid of the feelings you knew had been stirring for weeks now. And yet, you were here. In this room. With this man. As much as you thought about what might be, you also knew you wanted to experience what you could. So you’d never have to doubt or question, because you knew you’d be getting the best in the end. Could it really ever be that way? Could he ever feel the same?

“I’m good. Thank you. That’s really kind of you,” you blinked, bringing yourself back to this moment. To August. “Sir.”

“That might be the last time tonight I will be. Are you ready for that?”

“Yes, Sir” you answered, with no more doubt.

August took you in his arms and kissed you deep and hard, one time, before he turned you by your shoulders and gave you a firm slap on the ass. “Into the bedroom.” The ‘now” at your hesitation was punctuated with another sharp crack and you were wet, there was no doubt about it. 

The hotel suite was bathed in sheer red curtains, over the window, over the ornate gothic canopy bed, draped down the black walls. Tall black metal candelabras held glowing candles to light the room. Hooks and straps and rings attached to the walls in various spots held your attention for a brief moment. You hadn’t checked that box, and now you wondered why not. 

You could only see yourself trying a few new things at once.

These things tonight would be a vampire. And you’d already exposed yourself. Only one more to go, and the bondage wasn’t going to be it.

August turned you back towards him when you reached the foot of the bed, then proceeded to undress. You watched enthralled as he unbuttoned his jacket, the vest, his shirtsleeves, his shirt. You watched as it all came off, one piece at a time, designed to torture you, you were sure of it. He was fucking with you. Keeping you from seeing everything all at once.

You bit your lip, but all you wanted to say was ‘i’ve seen your dick already it’s been in my mouth please give it back.’

He finally did, ordering you to the bed on your hands and knees as he stepped his fully naked body toward you, halting at the foot of the bed to grab your head and stuff his cock right down your throat. Like he’d heard what you thought.

You moaned around him, squeezing your thighs together for friction as you gyrated your hips and bobbed your head back and forth along his length. It would take barely nothing, just the slightest touch, if he would just, yeah, just…

“Oh, you did come prepared, didn’t you?”

You moaned again when you felt his fingers slide over your ass and pause to rub against the handle of the largest teardrop plug you owned. It came in a set of three, black silicone with a shiny red crystal in each handle. Up until this week, you'd only ever used the smallest while alone, but decided you needed to be ready and so had worked your way up to the largest just last night. 

“Yes, Sir,” you pulled off and answered quickly, eager to get back to sucking his large member.

“What are you prepared for?” He wiggled the handle a little when he asked.

“For you to fuck my ass, Sir.”

“Good girl,” he slapped a cheek again, then smoothed his hand over the sting and down in the dip to find your aching pussy and just like you knew it would, his touch lit you on fire. He had the wherewithal to slide your thong to the side and angle two fingers so you could press back into them on your withdrawal from his dick and pull away from them, though he’d chase, on your approach. You fucked back into his hand like you were possessed and you came once more because you definitely were.

This man owned you. For tonight anyway. He could do whatever he wanted to you and you wouldn’t say no. No way in hell.

He pulled away and turned you to face the other direction, ass waving in the space directly in front of him as you imagined and wished and hoped he’d just fuck you, please very much. He chuckled and you blinked, imagining you’d seen him now standing at the nightstand, now right behind you again. You felt him pull your underwear all the way off. And you heard the crinkle of the wrapper and you felt him slide two fingers back inside you, felt him rub the pads of his fingers along your inner walls and you felt him find the right spot, the one that released more lubrication which he gladly gathered on his finger and smeared all over his sheathed cock before he pressed himself into you.

He fucked you for a bit before he spoke again.

“I’m going to give you what you want me to give you, and then you’re going to give me what you want to give me.” With a slap on your ass, he pulled out, grabbed your hips and flipped you to your back. You watched him discard the condom before he climbed on to the bed and stepped his knees between your legs, nudging you further up the bed so that he could lay his body on the mattress, his head on your thigh, peering at your puffy pussy.

“Yeah, she’s gorgeous,” he murmured, dipping his head down to take a taste. His tongue trailed through your folds and as his lips closed you felt a hint of the scrape of his teeth against your delicate skin. He sucked at your clit for a moment before he drew back and looked up at you.

“You still want to feel this?” he asked, and you paused for one moment to consider, that yes, yes you absolutely still wanted to know what his bite would feel like. There was really no doubt in your mind. It’s what you came here for. And you knew you needed to answer him directly or it would all be over.

“Yes, Sir. Yes. Please. I want to feel it. I want to feel your bite.”

It was all he needed. In a flash he was at the crease in your thigh, just outside your cunt. You felt his mouth open, felt him drag his teeth back and forth before he finally settled on a spot to sink them. Your pussy pulsed around nothing but the brief rhythmic flow of your blood drawn into his mouth. 

You felt a rush of euphoria, a warmth like never before. A million stars lit up in your eyes and you could feel every molecule in your body and every one of them was in a state of bliss. You felt him take one more pull, a wave rushing across the shore of your imagination. When he stopped, it was almost as torturous as before he had begun. At least now you knew what that bliss could feel like.

It scared you a little. It felt like a drug you didn't want to mess around with. As good as it felt, you could imagine never wanting to let the feeling go. Begging for more. Offering up your body and soul to get one more taste, one more drifting orgasm.

Suddenly you were aware of the softest lick. The smallest peck of the lips. When you looked up at you, a stain of blood still remained on his lips and he saw you moan, saw you begin to writhe and strain up, even against the voice in your head that told you it was wrong, and it was all he could do to turn away. 

“Please August,” you begged, forgetting what role you were in.

“Princess, not for a million dollars. Not for ten million. There is literally nothing you could offer me that would make me break that rule.”

“What rule, August? What can’t you do for me?” you pleaded for an answer, pressing yourself up to your knees, unaware that the rush you were experiencing had nothing to do with the way you thought you felt about August in the moment, and everything to do with the essence he used to ease the pain of the skin break, numb the feeling of loss, and reseal the wound in the aftermath.

“I get the feeling you really didn’t read the T&C, darling. If you had you would know, in this room, this suite,” he emphasized, as if he’d had to make that clarification before, “I cannot feed you. Even if what you’ve scented is your own blood. It’s too dangerous for you to taste it. Full of my saliva. Mixed together, it’s too potent for you.”

You were distraught and he was … was he amused?

“But I’ve given you what you asked for. Are you still ready to give me what you want?” He waited a few moments, allowing you to come to grips with the reality of the situation. You had slipped over a line, though it didn’t sound like this was something he hadn’t experienced before. A naive young thing, determined to play out a school girl fantasy, relive the stories she made up about being ravished and taken by the Count, made to be his bride. 

With a small shake of your head, something cleared its way to the forefront of your mind. Of course he couldn’t feed you and of course you didn’t really want him to. It was a fantasy. That’s it. That’s all. You could only take this so far.

Once he saw you understood where the line was, August's chuckle was sinister. “You can still have something new. I’m more than happy to accommodate that request. As a matter of fact, I think that’s really the only reason you came here tonight, isn’t that right?”

Oh, he was good. That’s for sure. The way he was subtly shifting the priority of the night. Technically speaking, the only thing you’d really wanted was the bite. And he’d already given that to you. So if you were up for one more game…

“That’s right.”

He grabbed your chin and stared directly into your eyes. “That’s right, what?”

“That’s right, SIr.”

“Good girl. Lay back down. I’ll be right back.”

You wanted to kiss him goodbye as he let go of your face and appeared to float away from you. When he returned from the bathroom, his face was fresh and free of any temptation.

“Alright, princess. Hands and knees again, darling. Bring that ass right on over here,” he directed you back to the edge of the bed, ass once again in the air while you rested on your forearms. 

August took his time. Warmed you up with a few more light taps that grew to harsh stings that you couldn’t stop squirming for. And you squirmed again when he tugged and twisted and pulled on the handle, teasing the plug almost all the way out before pushing it back in and then repeating the exquisite torture. You couldn’t hold still until he’d finally pulled it all the way out and pressed two lubed fingers into your puckered hole, and it was only because you needed a moment. Needed to let the sensation settle. Needed to relax to let him in deeper. Let another finger in. It wasn’t long before you were fucking yourself back on his hand again. ‘Same but different’ was all your mind could cobble together.

“Please, Sir,” you managed to gasp out in a moment of clarity. If you never asked, would he have just kept you dangling like this all night? “Please fuck my ass.”

“There you go, princess. You’ve found your manners finally.” He pulled his fingers out and you heard the familiar tear of another wrapper. Felt more lube. And finally, finally had the tip of what you knew was his extremely large cock pressed against your entrance. 

It was easy to relax. He’d been prepping you for this for what felt like hours. It took nothing more than for you to release the deep breath you’d taken and he was past the now-less-tight ring and moving further inside you, slowly and with purpose. That purpose was to get you comfortable with the feeling, loosen you up further, and get you begging for more of him. Faster. Harder. Please, Sir. Please! More!

He obliged and it was not much longer before you felt the familiar coil tightening in a brand new way. It was like nothing you’d ever experienced before. You were breaking protocol and screaming his name instead of Sir, but as he came himself, he didn’t seem to mind at all.

Bonus Edit: Absolutely GORGEOUS headers made for me by my wonderful friend in fic @geralts-yenn:

Everything HC Taglist: (as always, let me know if you want on or off)

@sillyrabbit81 @mayloma @geralts-yenn @raccoon-eyed-rebel @fvckinghenrycavill @kebabgirl67 @beck07990 @itsrubberbisquit @sweetdreamsofgelato @liveoncoffeeandflowersss @alexakeyloveloki @marantha @aireraume @angelmather1 @lizzystuffsthings @enchantedbytomandhenry @omgkatinka @littlefreya @avengersfan25 @just-chirpin @thesaucynomad @valacirca @henryownsme @summersong69 @foxyjwls007 @peyton-warren @irishavengersassemble

Special tag: @kittenofdoomage (cause sometimes you love my stuff and this one's another monster fucker lol!)

Tags from Werewolf!walter (if you commented):

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[qqueenofhades]

I've been hearing some deeply worrying things about 4 surveillance/censorship bills: https:// www.badinternetbills .com/

From what I've been able to gather online, these bills (the Kids Online Safety Act, EARN IT Act, STOP CSAM Act and RESTRICT Act) all proclaims to be about protecting children online, but the evidence I've seen from various articles highlights that they all share the same serious flaws of being too overly broad and vague, with various stipulations and elements that would actually not only fail to protect children, but also outright lead to incredibly invasive censorship.

There's even been an explicit admission from far right wing groups like the Heritage Foundation and the Family Research Council that they actively plan to use the first bill (and likely the others) to silence LGBT media online.

They outright stated as such here:

https:// www.heritage.org /gender/commentary/how-big-tech-turns-kids-trans

https:// twitter.com /ButNotTheCity/status/1661560827164471296

The first two are supported by a religious fundamentalist group who used to go by Morality in Media.

And the first three bills have massive bipartisan support, with EARN IT and STOP CSAM already on the calendar to be heard in the Senate, and significant celebrity support for the first bill.

IIRC, SESTA/FOSTA also had similar results akin to KOSA, and that turned out to be a disaster.

...I can't help but be extremely worried, because any reaction to these bills has been lukewarm and lacking, with barely any significant pushback.

Basically yeah, this is what I mean when I say that regulating social media is currently almost impossible in a useful and productive way. Both left and right will talk about "protecting children online," which in my opinion is a bullshit metric anyway because it's a) so wildly unspecific and b) usually means OH NO A CHILD MIGHT SEE TITTIES moral panic, rather than actually addressing the violent extremist/far right/Nazi/other types of terrorist content that is far more of a threat. The right wing wants to use it to demonize LGBTQ content, because that's their goal with literally everything right now. The left is caught between a rock and a hard place where they want to regulate and/or punish Big Tech for all that casual democracy-destroying-for-profit that they've been doing, but haven't figured out how to apply that effectively, get it passed, or otherwise achieve the desired results. So they end up signing onto these vague "Protect The Children" acts which are extremely vulnerable to being manipulated by bad actors (and are often deliberately designed by said bad actors in the first place) to look like they're addressing the problem. Which they're not. They're not getting at the tech oligarchs who actually control these platforms, they're not putting in meaningful safeguards, they're just thinking that requiring individuals to submit age verification for porn sites or whatever is somehow going to fix this. Which. It will not.

The good news here is that every few years there's a lot of alarm about some bill that's going to Break The Internet As We Know It, and while we obviously need to pay attention to those and keep abreast of what's going on, that has not actually happened yet and even fucking nightmare-city SCOTUS recently declined to dismantle or otherwise significantly overhaul Section 230, which would have opened the door to all kinds of micromanaging/policing/bad-faith lawsuits from people who scream about "Free Speech!!!" and then want to destroy it for everyone who is not them. So yes, obviously, continue to exercise your rights, contact your representatives, make sure people know what is at stake etc -- but there are good people working on this, such as the Wikipedia foundation and others, who have been battling literal DECADES of attacks on the open web and have been in this fight for the long haul. They'll be in it for this one too, so if you're exceptionally worried, I would advise you to look into foundations/organizations working on this. They have a whole lot of structure and experience, I'm sure they would welcome volunteers, and you can join the effort that's already underway, rather than trying to reinvent the wheel and build an opposition movement from scratch. So yeah.

[artylo]

On Competitive Soulslike E-Sports and the Mind Twister

With the release of the new Elden Ring DLC, I’ve obviously been forced to enjoy the spontaneous shift in a lot of my favourite internet broadcasters and video makers’ priorities to cover that instead. People are usually more excited about a new non-Armored-Core From Software game than I am, and that’s completely fine. It has, however, as always tends to happen, elicited in me a kind of senseless confusion. I see these people, who have no doubt been swayed by the overwhelmingly positive word of mouth that the Dark Souls series and the other derived games in From’s catalogue, going in with a kind of gleeful, childlike enthusiasm. These are people who are self-described fans of the series, who have gone through various titles in that now lengthy lineage. They boot it up, stand in awe of it for a little bit, because these games tend to be quite pretty to look at, and then beeline it for the first wall to hit their head against. And by wall, I obviously mean the first godforsaken creature that has a big health bar that goes across the bottom of the screen. They then proceed to spend their whole afternoon, chipping away at the thing, until it eventually relents, and then go into other chatrooms and make statements, such as: “This boss took me 10 hours yesterday, but I finally got it.” To which the crowd pathologically goes: “Wow.”

So here’s the fundamental thesis I want to put out there. What if, you didn’t put the 10 hours in, and just turned around and looked for something else to do? What if, you, as a player, noticed that you’re having kind of a tough time getting this seemingly insurmountable obstacle down, and just for a moment, considered that this might not be the most immediate path forward? What if, there was some other objective, which could give you the boons and upgrades necessary to topple that insurmountable thing, were just somewhere else? Come back to it when you’re more prepared, have the right tools, numerically stronger, etc.

I obviously understand that there is some pride in just winning one of those “hard” fights through sheer endurance and strength of will. I also understand that it is also completely possible to beat anything if you spend enough time dodging every move it has, and then getting a swing or two in. But, most players I’ve seen, have a kind of zealous dogmatism about exactly “how” such an encounter should be tackled. There’s a machismo that comes with fighting mano-a-mano. Rules such as: No additional summons, no healing, no armour, no dodging, no spells, no level-ups, no safety nets. Now, I don’t sincerely believe the average person does all of this all at once – there are some fanatics out there who indulge in this kind of catholic self-flagellation for fun and profit, and that’s fine. But most people seem to at least agree on no additional summons, and using as little healing as possible. Those two stipulations are the bare minimum to be considered “good” and “not cheating”.

It is interesting to me how, as a communal experience, these stipulations have become such a rule of law that any defence of anything to the contrary is generally cause for mockery and sneering. This has evolved to such an extent, that the NPC summon signs of yore are somehow seen as “less cheating” than the new-age Elden Ring Ashes summons – with actual player summoning, of course, still being seen as the ultimate form of self-defeat and admission of weakness. All this, for a game, which for the most part is a single-player experience versus a lot of computer-controlled adversaries, with little to no “actual” competitive stakes.

I think a lot of this comes from the fact that a lot of Dark Souls’ and the series’ fame came from being essentially televised on livestreaming and video sharing websites. These rules spawned from the constant one-upmanship that comes with being in the actual competitive environment of online broadcasting, where you actually have to stand out to be noticed and have a financial incentive in getting more eyes on you playing said game. Titles featuring keywords, such as: “Soul Level 1, No Healing, No Items, No Walking, DDR Pad, Deathless”, are obviously a pastiche of years upon years of people wracking their brains on how to peacock that they beat the hard game, even when making it even harder.

For the average player at home, there is ultimately near zero incentive, outside of some masochistic sense of personal fulfilment, to actively engage less of the game’s mechanics, use less of the tools, and ultimately accomplish feats of great skill and attrition to achieve what essentially amounts to impressing a bunch of NPCs on their computer screen.

There is one recent example of what I’d consider to be a good approach to playing these games. YouTube user ji-mothy started publishing a series of videos titled: “Playing Dark Souls as Miyazaki Intended” about eight or so months ago. It is a somewhat practical, somewhat hypothetical playthrough of the game, where the goal isn’t to simply beat the game, but rather find a route through it, which completes all of the NPC quest, so that there is a summonable NPC before every though fight, gather items that make certain areas and fights trivial, before they are necessary, and minimise backtracking and fast-travel. In that way, you can actually see that there is some though into how the straight line of progression isn’t always intuitive in these games. Sometimes you have to run with your tail between your legs, and go to some fundamentally different place, rather than trying to brute-force your way through an encounter. Sometimes the first boss is the last boss you should be thinking of.

The only downsides to said playthrough is that it is essentially impossible to intuit as a first playthrough. The whole process simply requires too much game knowledge to be divined by someone who is just picking the game up for the first time. The NPC quests are somewhat possible to accomplish naturally, but the item hunting and the correct sequence for the path are near impossible to map out as concisely.

This is more of a personal anecdote, but I think adds something to the topic at hand:

I genuinely believe that there is some substantial merit to always starting any Souls-esque game with the Deprived class, or equivalent. Having no initial gear forces you into a state of mind where the initial hurdle is just getting something to put on your back. It inherently prohibits anything but high-risk manoeuvrers when it comes to tough fights, so it forces you to go out there and gather resources elsewhere. It even does this thing I really like, that I’ve never seen be talked about, where you can grind a lot of the early mobs to rarely get pieces of their armour and weapons, while also getting the raw currency to buy gear from the first available merchant. This gives the games a kind of Diablo-esque quality, where you’re always on the lookout for the next drop, and trying to get full sets of armour, exhausting the loot tables for every new mob you see. This makes grinding the same camp of mobs over and over an actual appealing choice to me, because I get cool loot and it contributes to something else down along the line.

Elden Ring takes this a step further by allowing you to sell items uncharacteristically early for the series, so simple actions like gathering herbs and various miscellaneous crafting items from the ground can contribute to your next level-up or your next piece of gear, even if very laboriously and menially. Suddenly, you could be out there collecting flowers and mushrooms, so you can finish the next dungeon or beat the next boss, which I find immensely cool. It almost achieves a kind of Monster-Hunter-esque MMO-lite quality, where you can gather materials on your own time, fight harder monsters with other players or summonable NPC companions, and then sell the excess gear to vendors, contributing to the overall rewards of the endeavour.

In the end, spending 10 hours hitting random mobs around the levels will generally produce more rewards per hour, that spending 10 hours to get one reward at the end of a boss. Simply put, that’s a lot more bread crumbs per button press. On that metric alone, I’d say that being a glorified mushroom picker is preferable, when I can just walk in with my horde of goons, hit the boss twice, ???, and profit, rather than tough it out and see whether I can give the 24 Hours at Le Mans a run for their money. In a very blunt “work smarter, not harder” kind of sentiment, I genuinely believe that From Software’s games can facilitate a lot of differing playstyles, but when it comes to fighting fair and proper, all strategies are created equal, but some strategies are more equal than others.

[thesilentmedium]

Fiddle Sticks || Jonas & Emilio

TIMING : Current LOCATION:  Gatlin Fields PARTIES:  @thesilentmedium & @mortemoppetere SUMMARY: Jonas runs into Emilio and gets his help CONTENT WARNINGS:  none

Tatty Bogles weren’t exactly what Jonas was used to handling, at least not on his own. Sure he could tether the sentient scarecrow to a circle but without Lil to exercise it, he would only be buying time. Which he guessed was exactly what he was planning to do now. The only problem with that was the Tatty Bogle wasn’t too fond of the medium and while Jonas had gotten half of his circle drawn on the road right next to the field, the monster had chased him into the corn before he could finish. Now he was hiding and hoping Blue was alright, the big dog had jumped out to buy her master time to hide, she was strong but eventually she’d have to give up given that she wasn’t really equipped to deal with the scarecrow either.

Without her by his side though, Jonas could only rely on the movement in the corn to see where everything was. Monster hunting was a lot more off putting when he didn’t have someone to hear for him. What was even more off putting was the movement suggesting something was coming right his way, he tensed and grabbed the heavy lucky pendant Jude had given him preparing to slam it against whatever was walking through the corn right at him. When the corn parted Jonas brought his hand down to hit whatever was in front of him, and in a moment's notice Blue was by his side again, popping out of the shadows to also assist her master only for both to pause when they saw the thing was a human. “I’m sorry!” Jonas frantically signed at the stranger to apologize for trying to hit them.

—

It was a stupid case, but most of them were. Emilio didn’t care much about the vast majority of the people who showed up at his door asking for help, didn’t care about the petty disputes that required them to hire an investigator. It was a way to keep the lights on and occasionally gather useful information, but beyond that? It wasn’t a thing he did out of passion. Like most things in his life these days, his job was a means to an end. Stupid case after stupid case, with the occasional issue he actually cared about in between. But this one? This one was stupid.

It was a farmer who came to him. That was rare enough — farmers didn’t typically have need for investigators. But the case was somehow worse. Investigating why a man’s crops were dying felt like something akin to investigating how well paint was drying. It was hardly the kind of excitement Emilio was looking for, hardly the kind of thing that could promise him that brief burst of adrenaline that might, for a second, make him feel something other than empty. But he’d had something of a drought in clientele after his latest slew of negative online reviews, and he could use the paycheck. So… here he was. Scrambling through an empty field.

At least, it had seemed empty right up until the moment he heard movement up ahead. Someone running, someone hiding, someone’s heart pounding. Not the sort of thing you’d expect from a field of corn. Emilio moved towards the noise, pushing through the corn and nearly gaining a face full of… was that a pendant? Christ. He took a step back, scowling at the man who’d swung at him. “Hey, watch it,” he snapped. The hand motions were unfamiliar to him; he wasn’t even familiar enough with the concept of sign language to understand that there was an attempt at communication being made. “The hell are you doing out here? You fucking with this viejo’s crops?” But that wasn’t right. He knew it, even as he asked the question. The man in front of him was running from something. And given everything Emilio knew about Wicked’s Rest… He was guessing it wasn’t something human. “What’d you find?”

—

Jonas was a little surprised at how the man went from seemingly annoyed to inquisitive. It made him wonder what he was doing out here in the first place, most people avoided such places once activity started to bubble up. He could be another medium, the tatty bogle had hit a few fields so it would make sense for multiple people to be hired onto the case. It wasn’t all that strange for other mediums who were a part of the ghost busters to show up either if one heard another was doing a job. He didn’t notice a salt pouch on him but then again it could just be hidden, not all mediums always had them attached to their belts like he and Lil did.

Anothing thing he noticed was the other seemed to not respond to his signs. “I am sorry for trying to hit you. I thought you were the scarecrow. Are you um another medium?” Jonas was never quite fond of talking, he knew his words didn’t sound normal even if he couldn’t hear them. “I found the scarecrow, it is definitely possessed but um I can not exercise it. Are you able to do that?” He kept signing as he talked out of habit, the lucky pendant swinging on his wrist as his hands moved. He was hoping Emilio knew how to exercise ghosts; it would save him from having to wait with the Tatty Bogle for Lil to catch up. Holding a soul tethered was easy enough as long as the circle stayed intact.

“I um have a half finished circle to tether it. I was sort of uh cut off in the middle of well drawing it.” Jonas pointed back in the direction of the road where his car was still parked on the side. Blue at this point was staring at the other man intently, she was trying to suss out just who this stranger was and if he was an added danger on top of the Tatty Bogle. Herears were flat and she was pressed against Jonas’ side, she was almost the same height as her master and was using that fact to hopefully deter the man from getting any closer.

—

There was something off about the man’s voice. A strange accent, a volume that didn’t make sense given the situation. It took a moment for it to click with Emilio, took a second for him to realize what it was. This did not, of course, mean he knew how to navigate it. He’d grown up largely around hunters, worked with a few other species here and there, but by and large his experience with people was… lacking. The man kept moving his hands as he talked, cluing the hunter in that it was some attempt at communication, but it wasn’t one he understood. So he focused on the speech. English might not be his strong suit, but he could work with that far better than he could the unfamiliar hand signals.

“Scarecrow?” It took his mind a moment to catch up and, when it did, he sighed. Right. Possessed scarecrow. They’d had one of these once, in Etla. One of the farmers had called Emilio’s mother about it. It’d been a headache in the same way anything that wasn’t undead was. “Not a medium. I thought it’d be something more…” He waved a hand. Stabbable. Wouldn’t that have been lucky? “I can’t exorcize it. But I can light it up.” That was how they’d dealt with the one back home. It wasn’t a permanent solution, his mother had warned, but it’d take care of the immediate problem. The Cortezes had always been far better at solving the immediate problem than the long-term one; it wasn’t unusual, Emilio figured, for hunters to fail to see the long-term. After all, ‘long-term’ was a difficult thing to wrap your head around when you didn’t expect to live more than forty-odd years.

He didn’t entirely understand what the man was saying — a circle, a tether — but he knew enough to know that that solution, too, would be a temporary one. His eyes darted around for a moment, landing on the black dog at the stranger’s side. Immediately, he tensed. “What is that? It with the scarecrow?”

—

Jonas kept a close eye on the man’s lips doing his best to pick up what he was saying. So he wasn’t a medium, that was unexpected. It was dangerous out here for people who didn’t know what they were doing, he was a prime example of that. Sure he’d faced a Tatty Bogle before but Lil had been there and did most of the heavy lifting for him on that part. But Lil wasn’t here, which seemed to be happening more often than not lately. He couldn’t blame her though, she was following leads on their family while Jonas himself was just trying to keep the businesses June and Jacob built running for when they got back. He wasn’t sure if it was the right call but he didn’t know what else to do. Lil was intent on keeping him as far away from the investigation as possible for safety reasons, another reminder of just how weak he really was compared to the people around him. Still now wasn’t the time for self reflection, there was an angry scarecrow somewhere out in the corn determined to harm him and probably this stranger as well.

Speaking of said stranger, when he mentioned lighting it on fire Jonas couldn’t help shaking his head, “No no no, fire will only make it worse. We would have to hunt it down again later. I um sorry, I do not mean it is a bad idea but if I can tether it my sister can come and exercise it for us once she is done with her other job.” If he could figure out a way to get back to his circle without the stranger getting hurt, that would be the best. Tethering a soul was a tricky thing to do when it was in a body. You couldn’t just call it forward into the chalk lines, you had to get the body in the circle without also getting yourself in the circle. Sometimes a good push was all that was needed but he doubted the scarecrow wouldn’t just dodge out of the way if he tried.

The young man stood with his hands on his hips looking down at the ground now as he thought about their conundrum he almost missed the fact that the stranger was talking before turning his head to see what the man was looking at, “Oh um no this is Blue, my dog. She is a little on the big side but um she will not hurt you.” Blue tilted her head to the side, more relaxed now that Jonas seemed to think the other guy was on their side.

—

The man was watching his lips as he spoke, and it took Emilio a moment to realize it was because he was using them to puzzle out the words he evidently couldn’t hear. It was probably more difficult to read Emilio’s lips than most; given his heavy accent, the way his mouth moved around words was different than it would have been were he American. He could try to speak slower, try to enunciate better, but he wasn’t sure how successful he’d be. English was already hard enough for him to wrap his head around without him having to also puzzle out how his mouth would shape the words he was speaking. “You don’t know Spanish, do you?” It was a long shot, but it’d make things easier.

Great. No fire. That made this a hell of a lot more boring, then. “And how the fuck are we going to do that?” He was frustrated, which wasn’t entirely fair. It wasn’t the medium’s fault that Emilio was the furthest thing from an exorcist. In reality, he was probably lucky the guy was here. Without him, the hunter would have had to stumble upon the scarecrow himself rather than having someone helpfully tell him what he was up against. Things always went worse when you only realized what you were fighting once you were actually fighting it.

“That’s not a dog.” The guy knew it wasn’t a dog, didn’t he? Emilio pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a slow exhale. Maybe it wasn’t too late to let the scarecrow kill him. It’d be a stupid death, sure, but it’d get him out of this conversation. That was pretty tempting. “Look, I’ll do what I can to help you… tether the thing. Okay? Tell me where it needs to go, and I’ll get it there. But when your sister comes back and gets rid of it for good, I need you to tell me.” Emilio only got paid if the job was finished, after all. And leaving the scarecrow tethered in the farmer’s field wasn’t exactly ‘finished.’

—

“I am sorry I do not know spanish.” Jonas had always left learning languages up to Lil, she had an amazing knack for it. He figured him knowing how to read Korean and how to speak and sign American English was quite alright for him. HIs skills were more people oriented as his mom had said. He was a little proud of that, he liked people and how different they all were. They were always surprising him like this random man in front of him hardly questioned him about the possessed scarecrow still out there somewhere in the field.

Jonas was about to explain just how it worked before stopping himself. The other did not really seem to want to know at the moment in fact the man seemed rather irritated by the fact Jonas shot down his idea. He fiddled a bit with the hem of his shirt as the other man stewed before the other started to talk again. “Well no… She is not but she is harmless. We have a pact so she will not do anything to harm you as long as I do not tell her to and I do not plan to tell her to. I have never told her to, I do not really want her hurting people.” Blue was fine with this as long as said people were not hurting her boy.

“Oh well to tether a ghost you need a circle drawn. I um have half of one on the road next to the crops, I kind of got interrupted. If we can lure it over there and into the circle that should do it. Oh! It is important that you do not step in the circle or it will be your soul tethered.” Jonas figured that was a very important bit of information to tag onto the end. “If you can distract it while I finish then all should be well as long as we can also lure it over. Um if you give me your number then I can text you once it has been exercised.”

—

“Figures.” It had been a long shot, anyway… and one that wouldn’t have even necessarily helped them communicate any better. Emilio might have been more comfortable in Spanish than he was in English, but he wasn’t exactly stellar at communication in his native tongue, either. His mother had never found words as important as action, and while Emilio could communicate just fine, he’d never learned how to say more than what needed to be said. Never use a word where a blade will do the trick, as his mother had always said. Stellar advice, really.

Though evidently, a blade wouldn’t do much of anything right now. The scarecrow had a physical body, but it wasn’t something Emilio could fight. This guy, with his death omen pet, was far better suited for it. Emilio didn’t like that. He didn’t like having to rely on anyone else, especially a stranger, to get a job done. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the ‘dog,’ taking it in carefully. It was certainly bigger than Perro. “Probably not a good idea to keep it around,” he said, but his tone was dismissive. Talking about this wasn’t going to solve any problems, after all. If the guy wanted to keep a death omen around until it blew up in his face, who was Emilio to stop him? He looked like an adult.

“Oh, is that all?” The fact that the other man was deaf probably meant that the sarcasm in the detective’s tone was utterly lost on him. Losing his soul definitely wasn’t very high on Emilio’s to do list, even if he didn’t think his soul was all that great, anyway. They’d have to be careful about this, then. “No. No, I’m not leaving until I’m sure this thing’s not on the loose anymore. Won’t get paid if it keeps fucking around with these crops.” Not to mention he didn’t feel great about the idea of leaving this guy to handle the problem alone, even if he was more equipped to do so than Emilio. “I can do a distraction. And I can help you shove its straw ass into the circle. But you’re going to have to take the lead here. This is out of my wheelhouse.”

—

“Oh, well she does not bring about disaster she just warns about it which can be rather helpful though I am uh afraid she only warns about when someone’s loved ones are in danger rather than the person themselves.” Jonas understood the fear of barghest, but he figured Blue could be a good ambassador to disprove the bad reputation they seemed to have. Though now that he thought about it maybe this moment wasn’t the best time to be trying to advocate that his massive hound was indeed friendly. Blue was staring off into the field which meant the Tatty Bogle was probably heading their way.

Jonas tapped his chin as he tried to think of a good plan, “You can um take Blue with you, she can help you keep it busy while I get back to the road and finish the circle. She can also lead you to it once I am done.” The big dog wagged her tail a little at Emilio to try and seem a little more friendly. If they had met in a calmer situation she would have been all over the stranger looking for attention but she understood now was not the time for pets. It would have to wait till the mission was over. Then maybe Jonas would even give her one of those peanut butter treats he had baked for her this morning.

—

“Just seems like… bad luck,” Emilio replied, a little uncertain. The superstition he’d been raised with could hardly be referred to as such when most of the things most people might think to be ‘superstitious’ were true once you factored in the reality of the supernatural world, but some things slipped through the cracks anyway. Things like being wary of this guy’s pet barghest, even if he was right about the ‘dog’ not actually being responsible for the bad shit that happened around it. A warning system might be nice to have around, but it probably wouldn’t exactly do wonders for Emilio’s paranoia to have a death omen as his shadow. Apparently, this guy thought differently.

And apparently, he figured lending that shadow to Emilio was an all right plan. Immediately, the slayer wanted to argue — he didn’t want the barghest following him — but the plan was a decent one. The dog would provide decent enough backup, and would be able to track the scarecrow in a way Emilio couldn’t. His senses might come in handy for giving him a general idea of what direction to move in, but the dog — Blue, apparently — could make it a sure thing. And a sure thing was better, he figured, even if it wasn’t his ideal. Relenting with a sigh, he nodded. “All right,” he agreed reluctantly, “Blue’s with me. She gonna know when you’re finished?”

—

“She will know.” As Jonas spoke the dog locked eyes with Emilio, piercing blue stared right at the older man before she approached and took a seat by his side. Her focus went back to the corn and Jonas took that as a sign he better get a move on. “The road is that way.” He pointed behind him, “Um if you need me before Blue leads you over that is where I will be.” He took one last look in the direction of the shuffling corn before wishing them both good luck as he started to push his way towards the road. He was moving as fast as he could without ruining the poor farmer’s crops more than they already were. He could feel his heart pounding in his ears as he ran. His legs were already tired from running before but he did not stop till he saw the pavement.

Jonas didn’t bother to look behind him putting his faith in his partner and the stranger who showed up. He took a moment to look for his car before scrambling down the road to his circle and tugging a fresh piece of chalk from his bag. He was panting but bent over to quickly work on finishing the tether. He felt oddly calm, as if everything would be fine. Then again this kind of work never seemed to stress him as long as he wasn’t getting chased. He focused solely on drawing out the symbols and connecting the lines. It did not take long before he was done and touched the golden band on his pinky.

As soon as Jonas was out of sight Blue took the lead. Humans were normally bad at tracking, leaving her to do the work. She walked at a leisurely pace so the man could keep up while still working her way around to cut off the tatty bogle who was heading in her owner’s direction. She had tussled with it earlier and left some rather big holes in it but she knew she wasn’t meant to destroy the thing, otherwise it would have just become another chew toy by now. She broke through the thriving corn to stop at the edge where the crops were now rotten. She started to growl and barked to get the scarecrow’s attention. It was also to let the man behind her know she had found it.

—

He didn’t like the way the dog was looking at him, its owner’s earlier words echoing in his ears. She only warns when someone’s loved ones are in danger rather than the person themselves. Maybe it wasn’t the kind of thing Emilio needed to be concerned about at all, in the grand scheme of things. After all, he wasn’t sure he had any loved ones left. He’d abandoned Rhett, done everything he knew how to do to push Vida away. Everyone else was already gone.

Tearing his eyes away from the dog, Emilio offered the medium a nod. All right. So he was following directions from a death omen now. Not how he thought this case would go, but he figured he’d probably had weirder. Sighing, he turned to follow the ‘dog’ as it led him on his way.

The dog did seem to know where she was going. Emilio trailed behind Blue as she made her way through the corn, picking up pace when she began to bark. “Uh… good dog,” he said uncertainly, squinting at the scarecrow. Taking out a knife, he twirled it absently between his fingers. “All right,” he muttered, more to himself than to the bundle of possessed straw or the death omen circling it, “let’s distract.”

He tossed the knife into the thing’s chest, mostly to get its attention. It seemed to work well enough. The scarecrow turned and began to lumber towards him, though it was easy enough to stay out of its reach. “C’mon, asshole. You want to fight?” A shove met his shoulder, despite the fact that the thing was still a few feet away. Right. One of those assholes that didn’t have to touch you. Great. Emilio glanced to Blue. “Hope your guy knows what he’s doing.”

—

Blue sat down when Emilio went on the offensive, as long as his life wasn’t immediately in danger she didn’t see a need to intervene. Work smarter, not harder after all. She let out a yawn as she watched the two dance, wiggling her tail when Emilio looked her way as if to say, ‘You got this buddy.’ and of course her boy knew what he was doing. He was the smartest after all. She took this moment to stretch her toes, she had been fighting the thing earlier and her beans were worn from the effort of dodging its attacks. She would have laid down if not for the prickling in her fur meaning her boy was touching the seal that bonded them. He was done and ready to go. Blue jumped back up running over and grabbing Emilio by the shirt collar, tossing him into some nearby corn before lunging forward to get the scare crows attention. Once she was sure she had it she led it past Emilio giving a bark and trusting the old fart to keep up.

Jonas was waiting patiently by the circle hands slowly adding magic, making it glow a soft blue. He couldn’t hear the corn shuffling but he did hear the barking of the ghost dog, letting him know they were coming close. It didn’t take too long for her to burst through the crops running down the road right for Jonas. The tatty Bogle was right on her tail and Blue, who was trying to run slow enough to keep its attention, had to pause several times to dodge attacks but was making her way there.

Jonas stepped aside, the circle now fully charged, he had to be careful not to step in it himself as he watched his companion charging at him. The young man looked around for a safe place to hide but there was only his car. He decided it would have to do and he slid over beside it peaking over the trunk of the car to make sure he caught a glimpse of the stranger that had come along. “Remember no to step in it!” He called out as the three went by. Thankfully the Tatty Bogle was too caught upon the furry danger to pay head to the medium staying well out of the way.

—

The dog was rooting for him. It was an incredibly strange feeling, but there was no denying the look in Blue’s eyes any time Emilio glanced her way. Like she was absently offering her approval. He’d known she’d be different from Perro, of course — she wasn’t even really a dog, after all — but this was a little weird. Still, he tried not to let it distract him. With one last glance back at Blue, he allowed himself to melt into the fight entirely.

The claws were sharp. That was the first thing he figured. They only grazed him once before that lesson stuck, and his number one goal quickly became not letting them close enough to do it again. A duck, a twist, a dodge. There wasn’t much damage he could do to the thing, but that was all right. He didn’t need to kill it. He only needed to distract it until…

Something yanked him by his shirt collar, tossing him into the corn where he landed with a huff. “Feels like there was a better way to do that,” he grumbled irritably, scrambling to his feet just as Blue raced by with the scarecrow at her tail. He kept up as best he could, though even with two good legs he wasn’t sure he would have been able to run quite as fast as the pair of them. Still, he was only a few seconds behind them when they made it to the circle. He waved the medium off with his hands, nodding his head. “Yeah, yeah. I won’t lose my soul, relax.” But he would need to work fast.

With Blue providing the main distraction now, Emilio only needed to wait for the right opening before… there.

Blue lunged at the scarecrow, and it took a step back, feet just inches from the circle. Emilio took the cue and rushed in, shoving against the straw with his hands as hard as he could and sending the scarecrow tumbling backwards into the circle.

—-

The tatty bogle stumbled across the circle and for a moment it looked as if it didn’t work as its body took a few steps outside of it before crumbling down. Jonas came out from behind the car and came over to check the circle keeping a wary eye on the spirit inside. Once he was sure it was fine he let out a sigh of relief and went over to check on his two helpers. “Are you hurt?” He didn’t want to pry into the man’s space but he did have a first aid kit in the back of his car for such occasions.

Blue decided her work here was done and rubbed against Emilio to say thanks before disappearing into Jonas’ shadow. He would have to get her a lot of treats once Lil got here, “Oh um I never learned your name, I am Jonas. I appreciate the help if you like I can um repay you in some way. Maybe a free meal? I run the bakery so if you like bread…” He was a little awkward now that the scarecrow was no longer a problem. Deciding it would probably be better to move the scarecrow’s body away from the circle just in case. He grunted a little as he dragged the heavy straw body away.

“If you um,” He struggled just a little to drag the body all the way across the road, “If you want to burn this now you are free to do so.” Jonas wasn’t sure if it would actually help at this moment but the other had seemed a little disappointed when Jonas told him no earlier. “There is also first aid and water in the back seat if you need some!” He couldn’t see what the other man was saying with this thing in his face but he hoped they would help themselves.

—

The metaphor of a puppet with its strings cut felt a little too on the nose for the situation, but it was fitting all the same. The scarecrow crumpled to the ground and though Emilio couldn’t see the spirit that had been possessing it, he assumed the medium could. He also assumed that meant the whole thing had worked. He tensed a little as the guy approached him, but he didn’t seem interested in making any physical contact. Good. That was just about the last thing Emilio wanted. “I’m fine,” he replied. All in all, the fight hadn’t been a particularly taxing one. If he’d had to keep it up more than a few minutes, maybe, but the brevity of the match made it far simpler. It was easy to fight something you couldn’t technically kill so long as you knew what the end goal was and how to get there.

He glanced down at Blue as she rubbed up against him, patting her awkwardly before she disappeared. Definitely a weird experience. Glancing back up as the medium spoke, he hesitated for just a moment before replying. “Emilio.” It might not be a bad idea to have a medium on call. The undead and the ghostly tended to mix and mingle often enough to make having someone who could deal with the latter a good safety net, and he figured Jonas might need the occasional help dealing with the former, too. “Can’t say I’m in the market for bread, but I might need a medium from time to time. I’m a private investigator in town. Some cases might call for it. And… I’m a hunter, too. So maybe we can exchange some information here. Might be able to help each other out from time to time.”

Looking down to the body, Emilio wrinkled his nose. “Not as much fun when it’s not moving, is it?” Seeing Jonas struggling with it, he limped over and put a hand on the medium’s shoulder to get his attention. “Hey, let me get it. Where do you want it?”

—

Jonas paused when the other laid a hand on him staring as he talked before letting Emilio take the body, “Oh um I appreciate it. Just uh off the road far away from the circle.” He knew it was better to just accept the help than to try and move the scarecrow on his own. Though he was expecting Emilio to take a break and did feel a little bad that the older man had to drag a scarecrow off the road after helping him get it in the circle in the first place.

“Emilio is a lovely name. A private investigator? I am um more than happy to help if you ever need it. My sister and I have worked with hunters before though um this is my first time working with a PI….”Jonas paused, a little conflicted on asking Emilio for more help but the man’s profession was something he could really use right now. ”I am sorry to ask you for more help after you have um done so much already but if you are a private investigator than I um might have a job for you.” He fiddled with the edge of his shirt as he tried to think of how to best bring the topic up. “My family… Me and my twin have been out of Wicked’s Rest for over ten years now and um well we got a call from our uncle saying our family was gone. They’ve been missing for over a month now and well police are not very helpful. I am sure they are trying their best but… Lil is struggling to find leads too.”

Jonas turned and opened the back of his car meaning over the seat to grab his sketchbook he flipped it to an almost empty page. He grabbed a pencil and showed Emilio the name that was taking up the center, before writing his number down below it. “This is the name Andy, my um coworker, gave as the last person who contacted my mother for some ghost work. This is my number. I um am sorry but I… You are my best bet now.” He tore the page and offered it to Emilio, hoping the other man would take the job. The name in the center was a strange one, it simply read ��Astra”.

—

Emilio leaned down, getting underneath the scarecrow and throwing it over his shoulder with relative ease. There was no need for Jonas to struggle with it when hunters came with built-in super strength, after all. He motioned for Jonas to walk along with him as he made his way in the direction the medium had indicated, listening to him speak.

No one had ever called his name lovely before; he wasn’t quite sure how to respond to it. He settled on a shrug, turning his head so Jonas would still be able to see his mouth as they walked. “Yeah, a private investigator. My place is Axis Investigations, over in Worm Row.” He wasn’t sure it was something anyone would have heard of; he didn’t exactly advertise. At the mention of a job, his brows shot up in interest. “Police usually are. But you need help, I can help you. I’m good at it.” It wasn’t bragging. It was true. A lot of the skills Emilio knew from hunting came in handy as a PI, too, and the transition wasn’t a very hard one. He was good at it when he wanted to be. And with this… he wanted to be. A missing family hit him a little closer to home than Jonas likely knew.

He made his way over to where the medium had indicated, dropping the scarecrow by the road and then turning to follow Jonas back to his car. He waited as the other man wrote his note in the book, taking the page when it was offered to him. “I can’t promise you you’re going to like the answers I find,” he warned. “In a town like this, the most obvious answer isn’t always a good one. But… I’ll do everything I can to get you the truth. I can do that.” He tucked the paper into his pocket. “Whatever that truth is, though, you’re going to need to accept it.” He glanced to the circle with a sigh. “First one’s free. To show my appreciation with your help on this. Okay? I’ll find your family, and I won’t charge you for it. But you need a detective after that, you pay the standard rate. Tell your sister the same.”

It was hard to say what he was getting himself into here… but it was impossible to say no, too. Wherever this road was leading, he was on it now. Might as well enjoy the scenery.

[archive-of-the-lost]

𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐂 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧

Your ideal match is…Idia Shroud!

♡ According to the criteria of people you usually hang around, Idia fits them to a T. Introverted, hidden passion and sharing similar interests as you. He's also the type to love rambling about his interests, so he'd be inclined to let you do the same. He'd genuinely be interested in hearing about your interests, especially when you talk about the fandoms you're in. If you talk about a show or book long enough to get him curious, he'll check it out to see what about it makes you love it so much. Most of the time he'll end up loving it too.

♡ The way your closest friends describe you show a caring and thoughtful side to you that you might not realize you have, but Idia sees it too! Idia is always trying to not draw attention to himself and is used to not being noticed, so having you remember things about him that not many would never fails to surprise him. They remembered? When he gets flustered, he tends to hide or run away like a frightened squirrel, so you won't know how much he appreciates your caring side until he musters up the courage to tell you, blushing and stuttering.

♡ Idia is just as nostalgic as you when it comes to the fun things from his childhood. This is due to him having tertiary Si, which is a function characterised by memory of subjective experiences, hence the nostalgia. No matter if you are an INFP or INTP, your second and third functions remain the same, and you share the same tertiary function as Idia, which is quite cute. The both of you often have movie marathons of your favourite shows growing up in the comfort of his bed, just to relive some of that childhood joy.

♡ Idia is the weird mix of a person who somehow manages to fit so many of the criteria you tend to fall for?? He's plenty unusual, even for Ignihyde, giving you that feeling of wanting to stick with him because you're both outsiders. Once you reel him in with your interest in games and movies, it's not long before he's whipped for you. It's not that hard to tell because he'll be asking to call you or even invite you to his room, which is far more interaction than 99.8% of the rest of NRC gets. But! Just because he's whipped for you, doesn't mean he makes it easy for you to start dating him! He's very hesitant, and truthfully, insecure, so he'll wait for you to make the first move. So, you'll have to work for a bit before he believes you actually like him and says yes to dating you.

♡ Your love languages match up perfectly?? Idia also loves your favorite forms of affection. Quality time is obvious, because he actually asks to hang out, as mentioned in the fourth point. Once he gets comfortable with you, he'll start inviting you over to his room more often. A big sign of trust from him. Besides being able to spend time in your presence, he also does it so he can cuddle with you. Granted, it does take him a long time to get used to touching you without his hair erupting in pink flames, but he gets around to it eventually. He really enjoys spooning (he's usually the little spoon) and pressing his face to your back while you're sitting on his bed.

♡ He really enjoys your form of online gift giving because, well, he spends a lot of time online and can never say no to personalised recommendations of articles, videos, and memes you're sure he would like. He definitely does the same for you. He started following some new tags on social media just to try and recommend posts for you to see before you check the tag and see them for yourself.

♡ Idia is the the type to like toys that most kids would steer away from, when he was young and even until now. Just look at the plushies in his room, seemingly Pain and Panic in plush form. He likes them because they're outcast, just like him. So, he wouldn't judge you at all for your hobby of collecting perhaps scary things. He'd even be interested in seeing your collection and learning more about each item.

Note: About your matching process. I prefer matching people with characters who match their energy, so it's rare that I do extrovert x introvert pairings. Honestly your type in people confused me a lot 💀. I was like "tsundere? Jack? bad boy? Leona? mm not feeling it" until I read the section on the people you would rather hang around and Idia popped into mind. And now I can unsee it. HE'S PERFECT FOR YOU!

[letterstodreams]

What About Family?

One might wonder, where is my family, in all this? Do I have a family? Or do I stay in touch and am I close? I guess for many people these days, their family is a source of conflict and confusion, or a distant, peripheral thing in their lives, maybe there some of the time and in some ways, but not close, and not a dependable source of meaning, support and deeper understanding, not a source of help when life's biggest challenges threaten to take you under. Not a source of understanding and acceptance, but a group of people who agree to support each other only in very limited ways, if all follow the unspoken agreement to conform to certain norms and not cross certain lines about what can or can't be expressed.

I guess my family falls into the latter category, for me. They provide me with a certain very strained, shallow, hollow feeling of questionable belonging, care and support. I know it's there, it's real, if I play by the rules. But what it really means and what its worth, under the surface, is very questionable for me, indeed. Even though they are for all outward appearances very gentle, kind people, sensitive and caring and generous and so on. An outside observer would likely view most or all of them that way.

But scratch the surface, cross the boundaries, and you will see the coldness, the insinuations and subtle insults and excluding behavior and veiled comments meant to criticize and reject. Scorn, hate and rejection, visible in the eyes, in the subtle differences between how different family members are treated, preference, praise, warmth, attention to some, ignoring, coldness, subtle insults to others. Even rejection and criticism disguised as praise or kind suggestions, somehow totally obvious in their cruelty and coldness, yet totally inexpressible and ignored, treated as normal and healthy. It seems that such behavior is somewhat or very common in families, based on my reading in books and online.

Part of what makes me excluded and snubbed by my family is that I have mental and physical health problems they cannot accept as even being real or valid. Another thing is my neurodivergence and unusual personality and interests and extreme introverted, highly sensitive nature and sensory issues, more things they seem to see as being unreal or a sign of my lack of effort to overcome them. I also don't look as pretty and fashionable and act as cute and lively and hyperactive as they all do, the women, that is to say.

But the men, on the other hand, expect me to act like a typical woman of the family too, and I wouldn't fit with the men's fixations on masculine things and wealth, ambition, hard physical work, real estate, cars, politics, and other such things. I don't fit anywhere in my family, except perhaps among the children, and even peripherally among them, as most of them are a product of modern parenting problems, in part.

They run around, loud, demanding, spoiled, dominant, competitive. My own child is not competitive, and manages to happily blend among the other children, accepting the role of follower and second, third or last place, when she's in their company. I can see the innocence and playful, creative, joyful heart and kindness that is still there in the other children, too. Despite whatever spoiled, competitive, selfish behaviors they might have learned, they still are in touch with their childhood innocence and kindness, as I guess most kids are up to a certain age at least. So I take comfort in their presence. They can bring much cheer, laughter, sweetness, and fun, if the sheer noise level doesn't completely overwhelm me. My own daughter plays much more quietly at home, but joins in loudly and merrily when with the other kids.

Anyway, after writing all this, my cat meowed loudly and insistently, repetitively, for attention, so I happily went to give her some attention, and then my emotions were much soothed. I then felt like washing dishes, which had piled up a bit, and after a good half hour or more of that, I felt like I'd put my world in a bit more order. I felt more grounded in the senses, the now, the rhythms of life. I started to reflect on why I had even written this post, because under the calm, grounded rhythm of life, I felt this inflammatory feeling, and I wondered was it worth it, to fan the flames of pain and discord that I feel about my family, which run so much deeper than I can express just in one post. The full pain and horror of my family history might take a whole book to explain. Not just a book, but a well-written , eloquent book that I'm not even capable of writing and expressing so clearly, on such a touchy, complex, sensitive subject that is so hard to adequately describe.

"I already know all this, so why am I writing about it?", I said to myself. And then I thought, I'm writing this to explain to others. That is part of building a consistent, solid blog story, to explain and give enough detail and background that the whole picture seems at least somewhat clear enough. But is it necessary, in this case. I don't have to tell all the details of my family, not that I've even scratched the surface of the twisted toxic mess of it, but I don't have to give as much detail as I have. I know that others likely wouldn't understand unless they had been in the same boat. Even if they kind of understood, or thought they did, they likely wouldn't really understand my own story, my own family, which has complex secrets and twists that are impossible to put into words, though they change the whole experience so much that I can't even begin to convey the whole maze of it this entrapped and entangled thing.

But I'm not exactly nor literally entrapped. But I do feel dependent far more than the average person, unable to survive without the right diet and housing and lifestyle that support a very fragile mental and physical health, without which I may spiral into total self-destruction and decay, unto death even, not unlikely to me so it seems. I actually depend on my husband for those conditions, but if I lost or disentangled myself from him one day, I could try to rely on my family for some support in this regard, if I couldn't make it on my own.

Except likely it would be a miserable experience, just surviving. The housing might make me ill, I might not be able to afford the diet I need to stay well, and I might be continually invaded and harassed by their cold and callous behavior, if not outright verbal abuse. Intense, soul-numbing narcissistic abuse and tyranny prevailed when I lived under their roof. If I moved back to the family land, I would be once more in their debt, in their sphere, in easy reach at all hours, fallen back into the pit I tried to escape. I might not make it there, but if I did manage, I don't know how bad my life might be, but maybe things would be different now, as an adult, but it feels quit iffy and unstable to say the least.

So all this darkness and decay that exists between me and my family, and back into the long painful history I have with them. Yet I still feel like there may be something good, something warm and caring, wholesome and worthwhile, that I could salvage. Or maybe it would just be the appearance, the imitation of something wholesome and salvageable, but less painful than the harm and decay with no veneer at all. I feel like there are code words and keys to use that will unlock the pretend warmth and caring of certain family members.

Or maybe it's not pretend, maybe they really do care, in these limited and forced ways, with choking strings attached, but care nonetheless. If they are truly narcissists, then the caring and love is questionable and perhaps false and imaginary, but maybe it's worth something if it comes to that, if they're all I have to depend on for help I desperately need.

So I have learned about how to make these fragile connections to people whose intentions and hearts are of questionable sincerity and purity. How to act like I love a family who might not really love me in any real way, even if they fake it for appearances sometimes. But I also learned how to act like I love and care for others in this world, other people who I might find these frail yet beautiful and deep strands of connection, ways to give and affirm and connect, even if I'm so different, so rejectable in so many ways for so many people.

It is acting, but it's real, too, in the sense I care for them from our shared humanity, but the bond may be a tenuous, frail thread, so easily broken from both sides. If I cultivate these small avenues of connection, it might come at the expense of all the other aspects of self-expression, which I have to keep under wraps since no one might accept me for my very real, full, authentic self. I feel I'm just too foreign to almost everyone. But if I can find these narrow places of true connection, it's something. Then I can create a fragile yet strong bond with others, maybe.

I've learned this is possible, and the characters taught me, but if it is possible for me is another thing. It's possible for some people, and sometimes, and I imagine, for me sometimes, but I have yet to enact it. I need to see how to really put it into consistent and convincing action, because though I care, it doesn't come across in the way others relate to and accept. But this might be a bridge to the friends I need, the family I need, my own family, and other friends. I might find some friends who I can meet at a deeper level, and these fragile inroads might expand to something more meaningful and fulfilling and whole.

But if it stays in these narrow paths of very particular shared meaning, that could be enough to at least improve things for me, perhaps. The feeling of giving, and of lifting up another's soul, heart, day, mood, life, in some small way, might be enough. I have often heard that kindness is an addictive high that provides benefits that far outweigh the apparently small, simple gestures. It's not the answer to the world's problems, since the world and I both need more than simple, small gestures of kindness. But it could be something to help me survive and find my way towards a real cure, or to survive and just survive alone if that is what I need and must settle for.

[luffyrose]

I LIED- I'm writing more now because the idea is just brrrrrrr in my brain. Microwave noises

Lex is freaking out because Danny had told him he was going to Gotham, and now he hadn't replied to anything in hours and his location is on some random street, so definitely lost his phone, hopefully only that. Doesn't help that he went technically as a ghost, so he can't very well explain how his son got over there so that he could request someone find him- Lex really regrets his decision now.

Danny, still not fully in it and definitely not thinking, just asks why his aura is so corrupted, not thinking about it until the older dude in front of him went from confused to alarmed, realizing this guy might not even know what the heck he is. More panic ensues and Danny ends up just running. He does not want to explain any of that- Plus, he is not ready for the inevitable questions that would entail after that. So he kinda just thanks the dude, jumps out a window and runs until he can find a good spot to change. Jason was so not ready for this and lost him.

Danny is also so very grounded when he gets back. Though Lex does buy him a new and better phone, he'd been using his old one anyway.

I totally was writing this right after the first part, forgot what I was doing, and now do not remember where I was going with this????? Either way, I'm bout to bs more stuff onto this blabbering

He is not going to school, at least not in person- he's in some academy online for the time being and does technically have to go to events and other school things in person, but none have popped up yet and Danny could care less. He does like school, like, he's really good at school he just did badly in Amity because of everything that happened and his parents not being good parents.

Outside of that, more shenanigans and then some millionaire things, or hero things idk, but somehow his appearance is brought not just to metropolis heroes but the JL because idk, reasons. Supervillain has a son, which is a cause for concern in general. Batman is shocked to see him because not only does he LOOK like one of his many sons, but Danny looks quite a lot like Damian. Not very closely, but close enough to remind him of the clones they'd all had to fight before.

Either way, he brings home the picture of Danny and shows the family. Most of them are staying over at the mansion because of an upcoming Gala, even Jason, though he seems very irritable, more so than ever. When they see the picture they're also a little alarmed, seeing as Lex clearly isn't against cloning, which could mean that he somehow got Damian's DNA, or he was working with the League.

Jason wasn't in the room at the time, but coming into the room, it's the spiderman meme where he's just pointing at the screen. Just, "THE FAINTING KID" and the whole family turns to him and are like "YOU'VE MET THE LUTHOR HEIR?!?!?!?" It's a confusing time. Jason eventually gets out that he met the kid exploring, then he fainted, woke up confused, then ran. They want more answers but Jason is already walking off mumbling to himself about how he gotta ask the kid something.

So clone is definitely off the table, seeing as no clones, Lex or League, have ever actually fainted. Now it's just a confusing semi-doppelganger situation, though still concerning as Lex has like an actual child. So now it's a stakeout for any sign of Lex doing something, cause to them he is totally not a good dad, even though Danny would probably stick his tongue out at them for implying something like that.

Boopity boop, more things in between but the gala happens and Danny is there because idk millionaire things. He's generally avoiding most interactions outside of the people greeting him and Lex, though he knows that quite a few of the Waynes are staring, he puts it off as like millionaire kids seeing the new kid. Danny doesn't understand rich people after all.

Though when he sees Jason or more feels his presence this whole time then finally actually sees the other probably half. Luckily being near him in the gala gave him enough time for the corrupted ectoplasm not to shock his system. When Jason spots the other, he's determined to talk to him more, but now Danny has the realization that Lex does not in fact know that he ended up with Jason(it wasn't really a secret that Jason worked with Red Hood seeing as the vigilante was usually in Crime Alley, it was one of the only actual connections the Waynes had with the Bats and Birds).

Danny had only told him that he'd gotten distracted, dropped his phone at some point, realized too late, and then came right home. Lex hadn't fully believed him, but seeing he was fine, he accepted the excuse. He hadn't even told Lex about his old medical conditions, that was going to be a time, and Danny did not plan to talk about it any time soon.

Brain isn't braining, so yeah, that's it for now, I'm tired ksdnfj

I have fallen down the ultimate spiral. Usually falling into fandoms are ones that I know well or that I will know well because I just found an interest in them. This time, this time I've fallen into the whole dc x dp. I have no idea how or why the crossover is a thing, BUT I LOVE IT.

I'm not that big a DC fan in general, mainly because I do not have the attention span to understand what is happening (ignore the fact I've watched all of One Piece-) but I have watched all of Danny Phantom at one point or another so like, halfway there kdjnshdf

N E WAY! I was reading lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood real good, go read it https://archiveofourown.org/works/40263192 BUT THEN I SAW A POST, as I casually skim through it when bored, ABOUT JASON AND DANNY MEETING PROMPT/MINI-FIC ON HERE AND I WAS SO IN LOVE WITH IT

So now, my brain as it usually does, wants to write a fic on it. this is why I have so many notes/docs, someone please remind me to organize fdksjnfj but yeah- I might write some of it, I might not- I don't know, but I will absolutely dumb random thoughts I've had about it on you all.

Okay! So I don't see much if anything about it, but I love the idea that Danny is like, a baby in ghost terms. Like no one thought about it much because it was the equivalent of the "BABY HAS A GUN" meme and because the ghosts just wanted to cause some mayhem and have fun, it took them like 2-3 years to look at the overpowered ghost and go; "That's a child-".

Keep in mind, Danny is already technically the King of the Infinite realms via defeating Pariah Dark as well, so all the ghosts are like "a child....OUR CHILD" and now panicking over the fact that this lil ghost has not had a parent(Madie and Jack DO NOT in fact count as parents to the ghosts, or Danny's core for that matter, but it's not because they're human, like, the ghosts are more concerned about the fact that his parents aren't ACTUALLY his parents.)

Either way, Danny now has to avoid Clockwork, who knows he is a baby in ghost terms but almost adult in human terms so still 100% making him king, the ancient is kind enough to alleviate most of the jobs a king has to do at least......for now-

So most of Danny's 16, going to turn 17 soon, year old life is now school, dealing with the few ghosts who still cause him trouble even if he's a baby ghost to them, he does keep in mind how they are MUCH gentler now and tend to "give up" pretty easily instead of fighting him, and 'running' from Clockwork trying to coronate him.

Clockwork knows where he is when he 'hides' but his own ghost core, ancient as it is, can't help but humor the child.

Things go wonk as soon as his parents find out about him being a ghost, surprise surprise. His dad was shoot first, ask questions later as always, but his mom was more...mentally traumatizing my child by claiming they'll fix him and telling him how they would just have to cut him open a little to see what's wrong.

Danny gets hit by one of the shots and goes tumbling into the ghost zone, another shot hitting the portal itself and breaking it as he went through. Some ghost find him and are like "THE BABY!!!!"

Personally- my brain it's Kitty and Johnny finding him because they're more like friends now then much else. Kitty being like an older sister while Johnny is the friend he probably would have dated at some point given the situation since they're both around his age in general, being younger ghosts as well.

Either way, they panic, call Clockwork, since the whole Infinite Realms knows that they're Danny's guardian. Clockwork shows up, and is like "wuh oh" and decides this child needs a parent. BUT INSTEAD OF SENDING HIM TO SOMEONE CONVENTIONAL HE'S JUST LIKE WOOPPSSYYYYY *Throws a very injured and not that conscious Danny at Lex Luthor*

Lex is, despite telling himself he's not, already this random meta-adjacent kid's dad. He's sold. Be it the obvious parental neglect/abuse like he had or the fact that he didn't know he had enough of a heart not to abandoned a hurt child who knows-

Also just as a tangent, Danny 100% talks about clones one times and the two have a long talk about the sentience of clones, because like, Lex didn't think about it in a way that Clones, albeit creations of science more so, are still very sentient beings unlike other scientific creations. And depending on the type of clone, they are much much more human. Cue Lex having a mental breakdown in his bedroom later because oh fuCK HE LEFT A CHILD WITH SO LITTLE KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORLD WITHOUT A PARENT- you can't convince me Lex wouldn't be a good dad solely to spite his own.

Danny's adopted and Lex is concerned for sure about this, apparently ghost as he quickly learned, kid that wakes up screaming sometimes. Boy is he glad to have built his whole place around keeping prying meta's out amongst other things- He's trying his best, and Danny is confused as hell about having a good parent. Even more confused because he's rich.

Lex is like "I'm totally doing this to ask about his capabilities" before panicking over Danny getting kidnapped despite knowing the kid could float through a wall if in real danger-

Cue many arguments about if Danny can go do things in general. Lex is very much stubborn about it even though he knows Danny is part ghost. This IS partially thanks to the few weeks it even took for Danny to heal from the blast he took from his parents. Either way, Danny won that argument in the end by saying he'd just float through the walls and go if he couldn't. They settled that if going as a ghost he just had to be careful about heroes and not changing in sight if at all, and if as Danny, he had to take a few bodyguards, though they could be discreet.

Either way, once Lex actually shows the world his kid, and he is so proud to call Danny his kid, Danny gets kidnapped. This is exactly why LEX SAID NO DANNY!!! Either way he gets saved by some Metropolis hero, superman or not, and he's instantly a little shit tm to them. More so because they asked a question about Lex, maybe even implying he was a bad dad, and even if Danny doesn't see him as a dad quite yet, there is no way he's standing for that!

In the end, it's a while before Danny actually goes much further than Metropolis, thank you very much Lex, this halfa knows how to do a thing or two!

Except he runs into trouble right away, that trouble being that uh oh- his underlying health issues he'd been ignoring up until now cuz they haven't messed up since his death- ignore the fact he learn that corrupted ectoplasm makes him basically have heart attacks if in human form because hey! doesn't happen if he's a ghost and he'll just switch before it happens- yeah that suddenly acts up when he runs, in human form because he wanted some coffee, straight into Red Hood. How fun.

Jason is confused because of the pit's usual anger and call for violence, upon seeing this random teen that literally ran into him, fall over in pain. Jason is worried as well obviously like this kid is definitely sick or something, but wHAT?!

He does the only logical thing obviously! taking him to one of his hideouts and not telling anyone-

Danny wakes up, sore, confused, and hella tired. Jason is equally as confused and tired, staring at the kid as he wakes up. The icky ecto doesn't actually hurt Danny from being near it, it's more like his body is thrown into cold water suddenly and it just has a violent initial reaction. So now Danny is trying to figure out why this person, ghost?, he can't tell, has the GROSSEST ecto he's ever seen, and if he's even aware of it. Let alone how the heck he's gonna help this random ghost, because by damn he's still technically the ghost king and his obsession isn't protection for nothing-

Now we have Danny, who's been unconscious for hours might I add, sitting with a very confused Jason. Danny wants to help the ghost person, he might just start calling him a halfa, but he was wrong about Vlad being a halfa, he's actually more of an ecto-possessed person, really confusing. Jason wants to know WHY this kid is making his pit rage not only calm, but worried, so he's having a time, actually having a clear head for once outside of his concern for this random child, that he's only just realizing he technically kidnaped....and definitely has forgotten to tell anyone about- Welp, he's not telling them now, his oddly comforting child now.

I have more ideas from this but I have been writing this for a while now so like- I'll tell ya more if ya want but only then- If I ever do write this it will 100% be more angsty than my blabbering here kjfsdnjkf

[hungwy]

ON THE AI ART THING

i see three main points people are making, which i think are fair: first the supposition that the products of people's labor are being used somewhere in the process of art generation in an unfairly profitable way; second the supposition that the products of the artists' labor are being stolen before they can sell it; third that the other two result in a chain-reaction down the line where nobody's an artist any more because neural networks are adjective-er than humans.

for what its worth the way AIs combine images is just not the way you think AIs combine images. machine learning is complicated. neural networks are complicated. read up on GANs; watch a few Two Minute Papers videos (like this one, which is particularly relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCf8OA4GPvI). the way they combine im its not forgery (AI are not perfectly replicating your piece and selling it as it is for their own value; at some point it might involve copying/"looking" at it), its not stealing (you still have your art with you), its not even Youtube Poop remixing. generally the hypest way to do neural networks right now is to take a collection of items the AI knows to contain similar concepts and creates an understanding of that shared concept; a good dataset will be big enough to understand all the full variations of that concept, or accurately deduce the rest of the variations, all through the natural inconsistenties that a bunch of pictures of the same thing might produce. an AI knows how to do an oil painting style because it probably knows quite well the actual qualities of an oil painting. it also knows what the sun looks like, how cloth drapes at different weights, how holes in the ceiling of a building might imply shafts of light illuminating on the floor, and other incredible stuff. beats me how it does that, and you likely won't get it either. but the point is the way people are talking about AI on here seems solely informed by imagination.

for unfair and stealing bit, there's something to be said about how certain online communities, websites, people, blogs. etc are naturally private due to obscurity while also being technically completely public; like caves hidden in valleys that take quite a bit of looking to get to and see. in the past we just assumed they would stay hidden: the art on this blog will only be seen by its followers, or people i link the blog to, surely; ill teach you the way to my little cave. unfortunately the internet has been filled with extremely informed and skilled valley-treading and cave-finding robots, and unless you have big ol' signs that say "DO NOT FIND THIS CAVE!" (i remember for forums you could stop scrapers from coming to your website, i think on tumblr there is something like a "do not show in search results" button too), or somehow otherwise avoid their path using strange internet tricks or complete luck, they will totally find your little cave and rummage through it. what i mean to say is this: your art is already part of the publicly available data, and you're in a tough spot to do anything about it. i have no solutions.

the objectionable part is not in this collection of references for analysis, nor in how the AI is usually interpreting what objects are what, but the misuse of the AI to produce things you don't like (which is part of the point i wanted to make in my first post, besides arguing for the artistic integrity of what the AI is doing with its sources). and i see how it seems unfair -- someone smarter and more knowledgeable about art, labor, intellectual property, and value could articulate this more -- that a customer of a neural network could so freely replicate someone else's work with the original stylist having nothing to show for it. it wouldn't be any better if a sufficiently skilled person was requested to draw original pieces in your style. so in that way this is less about AI and more an objection against the violation of someone's intellectual property, if that exists.

for the second point on losing artists, i understand the reasoning as following: nobody wants to be a starving artist, and to avoid that in capitalism one needs money, and if someone is dead set on being an artist (or for some reason can be nothing else) they must sell their art to make money. if no one is going to give them money for art, they will certainly be a starving artist, which we don't want. the conclusion here is, if we want artists (starving, at the very least), we should restrict anything else that makes art which might compete with the artist's. okay, that might work: we could stop having AI make art. but what if, despite our best efforts, we can't fully restrict such a thing? what if AIs are here to stay? more importantly, what if artists are actually already partnering with AI to make art, and you've just been none the wiser? What if you yourself could adapt to new technology and use it to better your own art? The improvement of this tech is, as far as anyone can tell, inevitable. Like any tool, it will be applied in obvious and creative ways. It will displace some people, it will be used by others, and further it will be ignored by the rest.

naturally we would think at least some artists could no longer be paid for what they currently do. if companies can afford a concept artist they likely could better afford a subscription to DALL-E. If their work is no better than AI and they cost more it seems clear they're out. but im simply not jumping to the conclusion that companies specifically will be replacing ALL artists with AI, since most trained artists are in fact better than AI, and come with the human factor. some companies will certainly try the switch to AI for the novelty of it, two or three might succeed, most will probably find out negotiating with an artist or two for long term projects is much easier than talking to the team of computer science geeks to see if the damn art-generating program will churn out something slightly more [quality], more palatable to today's changing tastes -- all that, IF "AI generated images" is even the zeitgeist in whatever hypothetical time period in the future this is happening. maybe by the time the tech is developed people will think handmade stuff is popular and companies will follow suit, with all their logos or whatever being painted on glass panes.

i mean, who are we even talking about, considering artists? the fandom artists definitely aren't disappearing because of neural networks. all those millionaire furry artists simply won't lose business because people are going to Midjourney and entering in "shirtless anthropomorphic tiger, [famous furry artist]-style". people who want oil paintings want some physical oil paintings and usually not a digitally-generated oil painting printed on canvas. people want a human intermediary for basically everything, and if you've ever worked retail with an older customer base you'd know that's true. id certainly prefer human-made art to neural networks if i was gonna spend money (and i apologize to our future robot overlords for such a statement).

so who is really completely losing out here? many artists are, quite frankly, not big enough to get fried. concept artists for triple-AAA shooters might take a hit, i imagine; its decently easy to generate generic cities and alien landscapes with AI. but frankly, artificial intelligence is a tool, and not a scooch-along robot replacing your cubicle in the office. you still need people who know about art, and artists willing to put in the work, for it to produce anything of commercial value. even if it gets so good that the CEO of a business can log on to ARTIFICIAL-INTELLIGENCE-WEBSITE.com and type into the text box "I wuld like to buy a compny logo for $50 please", im sure there will always be more status in having that "human touch" to your designs, and less status in those robo-packs of ugly slightly mismatched placeholders. besides, artists are already using AI to help create their products in the first place; i refer to that Two Minute Papers video again (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCf8OA4GPvI).

Edit: Considering Two Minute Papers, we do see that VFX artists and simulation scientists are trying to find ways to realistically simulate liquid, gases, fire, etc. with AI. This likely will have consequences for whatever hand-simulated stuff VFX artists have been doing.

your art is publicly available and you really don't have much control over what happens to it. unless little intranets for families and towns and cities and such become more popular, unless you start password protecting websites like forums used to do, your shits getting collected. its not a good reality and im definitely an advocate for internet privacy. for many artists the internet is unfortunately the only place they know how to get their stuff out there. its not a good situation for artists to begin with. the thing is, what's happening with modern AI art generation isn't... really that bad. unless some specific human wants to make it bad. if from this moment on we decide to push for legal-social-whatever punishments for not compensating the artists whom AI was trained on, okay, i guess. companies developing these AI probably have too much startup money anyway and most artists make far too little for the years of wrist pain. but i would say the customers requesting your art style or whatever are certainly at more moral fault, because it almost certainly wouldn't just pop out a given art style unless your prompt guided it to.

i will stand by the fact that the art of modern neural networks is more complicated, less hurtful, and way cooler than ripped off collage nonsense, and it will be exciting and scary to see where we go from an AI winning an art tournament -- for the moment you can be scared if you want, i guess, but if you didn't already lose your job to a guy utilizing a neural network then you're probably already safe. (and you might as well get on the train before you're left behind.)

[tarotmundomonde]

Next 3 months love reading quick overview

pick a number 1-5 OR pick a colour: 1-blue 2-purple 3-green 4-red 5-yellow

(ps. this reading is for practice, fun and entertainment as always)

1.Welcome to pile number 1. First month looks a little bit dramatic. Some changes could be also causing you to overthink and feel anxious. But it looks like you want to change things, to manifest change in your love life with such intensity that it's causing you anxiety. For example you are done being single, you really want to find someone and start dating. And you want it so bad that it's causing you worry, because wanting to find someone doesn't mean you'll find anyone. Second month, it looks like you are curious about someone. You see them in a bit of a romantic way. You daydream about this person. But it's like nothing much is happening. It's like you wish something would happen, you wish they'd do something. If communication is an option, maybe you are trying to say something or leave a comment or something and then you follow their reaction, but there isn't really any. Also, it looks like there could be some competition for their attention. You are not the only person, who is romantically interested in them. So it seems you'll be truly pondering your strategies on how to go about this. Third month, there is definitely someone here, it's for sure. But it's possible that all their attention and energy and passion is poured onto their work. Like they are all about their job or studies, depending on who this person is. But at the same it looks like you might be more around this person somehow at this time, or if this is online, they are more active. Because it looks like you'll have the opportunity to learn a lot more about this person and what they are like. Overall, the cards are saying you might have some age difference with this person you are interested in. Or their position could somehow be higher than yours. For example you are junior, they are senior. You could experience some competition. Also, you could be experiencing frustration. Maybe you feel like this person is a bit predictable, maybe too predictable even. Like they just do their thing and it's like nothing much is happening. There is an element of repititiveness here as well, a pattern. It could be simply that you see them everyday or on weekdays or it's your habit to check their social media, but something like that. Also, looking at the cards, maybe this person is spiritual? Like there is something here about spirituality. Also, this person comes through as very self-confident, knowing how to carry oneself. They are attractive and your type. You seem to have this strong desire to manifest something between you two. To be honest, looking at the cards it looks like you can't stand the idea of being single for any more minutes anymore and so you are ready to do anything it takes to finally start dating someone. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

Welcome to pile number 2. First month, whether you have someone on your mind or not, you seem to feel pessimistic about your love life in general. Maybe you feel like finding a good match for you is far from your reach. You are focusing on what weighs you down, instead of on what lifts you up. There is a need to reconnect with your inner fire, inner energy and inspiration. Second month somehow you'll find your power to overcome the negativity. There is a sense of overcoming some obstacles. That will be followed by an energy shift. Things will improve for you. It looks like something will happen and somehow you'll regain your power back and after that unforeseen positive changes will come in. Third month you could feel a bit more withdrawn, as it will be a time of healing and reconnecting with your higher self. You will feel peace and patience. Intuition. You could be receiving some intuitive messages and some signs at this time about your love life. Otherwise, you just are. You might also meet new people at this time. Maybe you'll be invited to some social gathering or event, maybe for some drinks like coffee, because they hope to get to know you better. People could find you to be a bit mysterious and magnetic at this time. Also, since you are in a place of allowing things to come to you and happen naturally, it could be easier for you to feel the vibes. Overall, the cards are telling you to have patience, things are going to improve. Also, even if there wouldn't be much anything going on, the universe is reminding you to stay optimistic and patient, as there are endless ways and possibilities to when and how you'll meet your person. After all, you did get the soulmate card in this spread, if you chose this pile. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

Welcome to pile number 3. First month you will be heading a certain direction. Actually, travel is a possibility, be it short or long distance. But otherwise there is this sudden change of attitude. There is clear determination, you've chosen your path and seems like things will become calmer for you. It's like you are done with the bs and now you feel much better. Second month peace makes you feel amazing. It's like you've regained your energy and you feel so proud of yourself. You might also feel supported and ready to meet someone new. So maybe you'll want to spend some time alone, before you are socially active again love wise. Third month maybe you are avoiding some people, like on purpose ignoring some messages or for example you don't check your timeline on apps, because you want to keep your peace and maintain this good vibes state of being. Overall, it seems you'll end up feeling grateful about how things turned out to be. It looks like you might have dealt with someone rather arrogant and full of themselves. Maybe you felt like it was all on you, the connection/relationship. And your absence doesn't go without notice. But this time you are choosing you. You've realized the foundation of this connection doesn't work for you or simply isn't what you want and what you want is bliss. This applies, even if you don't have anyone on your mind. Maybe it's just an observation or it's something you'll pick up on, if you meet someone, new or not. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

Welcome to pile number 4. First month you really feel the temptation. Are you perhaps in a friends with benefits commitment? Or is that the temptation? You met someone super hot and know they won't give you the ring, but still you want them? You seem to believe this can be worked on. At least you are definitely giving your situation a good deep thought and really looking at it from different perspectives. If you don't have anyone, maybe you are just considering, if you could be open to the idea. You might be thinking what it would be like and maybe you are even thinking, if such a connection can turn into something more. Anyway, something here looks good on the surface and therefore is tempting. Also, you might think a lot about someone. Second month there is expansion. You are going to be so much more optimistic than usually. A lot of hope and trust. High standards. This could be a little bit a month of testing, like testing the ice with a stick. Third month is like a month of strong will power. You will not deter from your path. You know what you want and you'll stick to it. If you are dealing with someone, it's the same with them, too. For some of you this energy will manifest itself more as staying true to yourself and your path and looking for what you truly want. For others, maybe it's going to be more about finding answers and solutions for your situation. For example simply trying to get to know someone better and observing the situation to see, if there is a chance to turn your connection into something more serious. Overall, some of you definitely seem to have options in your love life, just that these people don't seem to want commitment, but are looking for something more casual like a fling, some or friends with benefits. However, you seem to have this trust that you'll find the one or that maybe such a situation could turn into something more. Optimism is shining through this reading. Again, if you don't have anyone, maybe you are just playing with the idea of such more casual connections, but it seems like you'll end up staying on your path, trusting you'll find the one eventually. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

Welcome to pile number 5. First month there is some kind of obstacle you are dealing with. There is a sense of withdrawal. Maybe there is someone you want to be with but they are keeping their distance from you and you might feel like you should just leave it be for now. Like they know where to find you, if they want to reach out to you. Second month looks like someone new could be showing up. This could turn out to be a fling, something rather passionate. Third month no communication, no contact. There is a chance for someone to come back around. Otherwise, it kinda looks like everything is back to normal. But at the same time there is this sense of an open ending. Like when will something happen next and what will it be. Could you contact someone, would they contact you. Things like that. In other words, even if something would be over, you are still thinking they are an option, like they could come back as well as thinking about will someone new come in next. Overall, the cards are asking how teachable are you, as it seems you just keep repeating the same cycles over and over again. You always find yourself in the same outcome, same patterns. There is a connection, but also an ending. Good news is there is no drama, though. And as always, don't forget to leave some feedback, if it resonates with you.

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Disclaimer: I don't know how the law works and I am too lazy to actually look things up for now. This is just a concept that's all over the place and I will get into greater detail about it later and correct any misinformation I might have written.

Tw: abduction, stalking, violence, obsessive behavior, toxic relationship, toxic behavior, unhealthy mindset, implied toxic workplace, and this is just everywhere. An idea I wanted to share before I forget. Also mentioned drugging.

Disclaimer #2: I do NOT condone any of the actions or behaviors that take place in this piece of fiction. None of this should be considered romantic or even normal as it is extremely toxic and dangerous. This is NOT a healthy relationship.

=

Another concept of yandere! Streamer! Xiao....

There's just one difference from the one I gave earlier...

You're the voice actor of his favorite character. A limited time character in a gacha (like well... Genshin...). At first he wasn't that interested in you, as a person. Just liked the character you voiced. But then the interviews start to happen and out of pure curiosity, he watches them and he becomes... Interested.

Has this ideal image of you, places you above him for a while. Until the illusion wears off and he realizes that you are just another person. A better person than he is, clearly, because last time he checked... It's not okay to stalk someone's social media, nor is it normal to take screen shots of every picture you have or imagine what you'll he like in person in... Devious ways.

It's normal, yeah, but that doesn't mean it's okay. Because it's not and he knows that but he's too far to even care about what's okay and what's not okay. He's a shut in anyway, only going out for groceries if he needs a breather rather than buying everything on online like he usually does. Everyone needs a break once in a while, even him.

When your character return banner comes around he whales on it. Gets you to full constellation - he has the money and apparently he also has the luck. He streams it and for once he does a voice commentary but still doesn't show his face, and everyone is surprised at how... Calm his voice is. Maybe it's a bit rough but for the most part he sounds monotone... Unless he gets irritated beyond hell. It gets a bit higher when he's excited but it's hard to detect unless you're close to him (like Venti or Hu Tao).

Buys the prints you sign, watches your live streams and videos on YouTube. Buys merch of the character you voice because 1.) He actually likes them and 2.) They remind him of you.

Turns out you're a decent person in real life, have a small group of friends and try to keep your private life secret. How cute, you even wear a disguise when you go out. You even live in the same city as him!

He's not actually that dumb, when it comes to tracking people down. Or when it comes to stalking either. He learned from the best after all, and only the best is allowed when it comes to this stuff. He knows it's not okay to do this, he knows it's not supposed to be normal, he knows he's being a creep, but the way you laugh and smile while eating with your friends is a sight he can't miss out on, you know?

Somehow he manages to convince himself to get close to you. He's a good liar, good at pretending he's not stalking you when he "accidentally" bumps into you on the subway. You're in your disguise and he can see the look of fear on your face when you think your wig fell off but it doesn't and he finds it cute how you apologize for something that's not even your fault.

He seemed like a decent guy, a bit awkward like he's not used to human interaction or talking in general, but that's what makes him somewhat unique. It's what makes you lower your guard around him, once you get to "know" him - it's just by chance that you keep bumping into each other on the streets or in stores.

He's a good listener, listens as you complain about your job. You never tell him the actual details (not that he doesn't know but pretends he doesn't ), just that you barely know what's going on because they never give you the full details. You tell him that nobody takes you seriously because you're the youngest among them and how most of your coworkers are only nice inside the work place or in public. They have to maintain a good image, after all.

He knows how that feels and unlike your coworkers, he doesn't pretend to be a good person. He's tolerant of people but that's about it, and he's only close to very few people. And now you're one of them.

You're surprised to find out he's a fan of you and that his favorite character is the one you voice. You try to keep it hidden though and he pretends that he doesn't notice the shine in your eyes whenever the topic is about the character.

He plays games that you have voice lines in. He streams them too, gotta make that extra money (and also because be genuinely likes gaming... Just not Co op. But sometimes he's forced to by his small friend group and those are the few times he doesn't stream while playing). And again, you're surprised because hey, those are games you voice. But it can just be a coincidence.

Until it doesn't feel like one, anymore.

It happens, one night. He was only supposed to see you off at the subway after a day of you 'dragging' him around. It was a good day and he was happy. But you would be lying if you said it didn't feel... Off.

The sation is empty. He was the one who said he had to leave early but wants to see you off, at least. To make sure you'll be safe and all. But it's a bit weird, how he chooses a time where the station is... Eerily empty and silent. The cameras are also having technical issues which is... Odd. Scary even.

And it happens in a fluid motion.

He's not sure how effective that one drug would be (I cannot spell but it's the one in movies where they place a rag or paper towel over someone's mouth drenched in the drug and they pass out) considering he never uses it, so he hits the pressure point on your neck instead.

You pass out and he well, takes you home. To his home.

When you come back to, you realize you're all... Tied up in a bed, and the room is a bit unorganized but isn't exactly dirty. The covers placed over you smells like Xiao and now you're scared shitless.

Especially when you notice that your disguise is gone. And you can't scream with the duck tape over your mouth, either. You're not naked, at least not yet.

He wants to make it... Comfortable for you, at least a bit. He's not deulisonal and thinks you would be okay with this. He knows you aren't and he's a bit scared himself because the police will look for you soon enough. So he doesn't do anything - if he gets charged with abduction (I don't know the actual name they use for that charge but too lazy to look it up), that's the only thing he's okay being charged with.

And you are forced to watch the news with him, forced to see your face plastered on TV as your close ones and coworkers look for you. Some think that you ran off, with how stressed you've been lately. Others think you were kidnapped.

Most of your stuff was missing too. But it didn't look like anyone broke in and for some reason, your security cameras weren't working. There aren't even any finger prints from a potential kidnapper.

They think they'll find you dead in the river by next week if they don't hurry up. Others think you had enough of it and just ran away, but your friends and family said you wouldn't do that.

Until they bring up the fact your dog is missing too. And where is it?

Cuddling up next to Xiao on the bed while your hands and feet were tied up. He's not an animal abuser and he knows what it feels like to be abandoned... And a dog won't under why it's master left it.

Animals are easier to get along with than humans.

And well, they never find you. Once that news is heard, he forces you to change your appearance, somewhat. Cuts your hair and dyes it, makes you wear contacts if he ever allows you to go outside with him (which is extremely rare), and tells the vet he found the dog at a shelter which... He kinda did.

He didn't kidnapped the dog out right, he just took it and surrendered it to the shelter for a bit before officially adopting it. Of course, when your family found out, they were livid.

But your dog was legally his since you never went to claim it (not that you could). And when the police check the shelter's security camera, they can't make out any details of the person who showed up with the dog. Even the workers there don't remember how the person looked.

And well, now you're stuck with him.

[whiteqnn]

PURE [4] - Corpse Husband x Fem! Reader

A/N: I’m back. Shout-out to my sister @mojajasnoscmrokirozproszy , who encouraged me into finishing this part.

part 1 

part 2 

part 3 

part 5

PURE [4] 

Corpse was confused, to say the least. He stared at the screen with his brows furrowed, not exactly understanding what just happened, or what caused Y/N to leave so suddenly. He thought they were all having fun, or at least that’s the impression Y/N gave while interacting with other players. 

Was she just pretending she’d had fun when in reality, she didn’t want to spend time with them? 

He knew it was none of his business. They didn’t even know each other, outside of these two short games they’ve both been part of. But Corpse was quick to get attached to new people, and Y/N’s sweet voice, her innocent demeanor, and pure personality made him instantly like her... 

Perhaps it wasn’t exactly a good thing that he felt so worried when she left, given the fact that two of them have spoken maybe for a few minutes since they met each other. But Corpse couldn’t help it, and certainly couldn’t stop this weird feeling that something was wrong and that he needed to make sure that Y/N was okay. After all, he was the only one who knew that she left. Except for his audience, of course. 

So the moment her white little astronaut suddenly disappeared, Corpse went on a killing spree. He didn’t even care about that whole finish my lyrics thing he decided to terrorize his friends with, he just wanted to finish this game and check on Y/N. It was obvious that she wasn’t telling the truth. Even though it looked like she was trying really hard to contain her emotions, he could still hear her quavering voice. It was too hard to hide, and he knew it firsthand. That’s why he made it his point to at least check on her.  

“Jesus Corpse, you just went full berserk on us...” Felix murmured when the last person was killed, and Corpse could see a sign victory on his screen. It didn’t make him smile though, not how it usually would. 

“It was great though! Let’s do it again, but maybe on the other map?” Sykkuno suggested, clearly very excited about this hide and seek game they’ve come up with. 

“Sure, let’s get the first one maybe?”

“Actually, would you guys mind if we had a little break?” Corpse asked before they could start another game. “We’ve been playing for a little while now...”

“Ah, yeah! Bathroom break!” came Rae’s response, followed by a few hums of approval. Corpse sighed in relief. He was afraid his worried voice would draw the attention of other players, but they didn’t seem to notice it. 

“All right, is ten minutes good?” asked Sean, and when everyone agreed, Corpse excused himself from his audience and muted his mic. He grabbed his phone and unlocked it, only to be hit by a sudden realization.

He didn’t even have Y/N’s number. 

“Fuck...” he cursed quietly under his breath, running a hand through his hair. How the fuck was he supposed to check on her? He couldn’t use discord, he was still streaming after all... Maybe Twitter would work? Nah, she probably wouldn’t even notice his messages. What was left then?

Of course. 

Sean.

Corpse didn’t even think about any explanation as he quickly typed in a message to the said man, asking if he had Y/N’s number. The response came almost immediately. 

“Yeah, I have. Why?” 

Okay, now what? He couldn’t just tell him what happened. Corpse knew that Sean and Y/N were close, but he felt like it wouldn’t be fair towards the girl if he told Sean what happened. Maybe she didn’t want anyone to know... Maybe she didn’t want to speak to anyone. 

Him included. 

But Corpse felt as if he had to do it because that was something he wished someone would do for him if the roles were reversed. To at least show that he cared, that she wasn’t alone with whatever it was that bothered her... 

Was he being intrusive, for wanting to make sure that everything was okay? And what if she was totally fine and he’d just end up making a complete fool out of himself?

“Not that I haven’t already made a fool out of myself...” he mumbled under his breath, his fingers quickly typing the response to Sean. However, before he could finish it, the said man’s name appeared on his screen with an upcoming call. 

It was so unexpected that Corpse almost dropped the phone.

“Um, hey man” he said after picking up, his hands trembling as he tried to come up with some good explanation as to why exactly he needed Y/N’s number. “Look I-”

“Does this have something to do with her disappearance?” Sean cut him off, leaving Corpse with his mouth hung open, utterly shocked.  

“I um- no. I just wanted to call her and... cause I don’t have her number...”

“Corpse, I heard what she had told you...” Sean sighed into the phone “I was flying around you after you murdered me.”

“I...” Corpse tried once again and again found himself at the loss of words. His brows furrowed suddenly as he realized something “Wait- are you still streaming?” 

“I left for a moment to grab something to drink and call Y/N. Don’t worry, I wouldn’t say anything on the stream.” 

Corpse sighed in relief. If Sean managed to somehow play it off, then his fans maybe haven’t figured out what was going on. He didn’t want them to attack Y/N’s social media with tons of questions she obviously wouldn’t answer. 

“Do you know what happened?” Corpse asked quietly, hoping that maybe Sean knew something more that would ease his nerves. He hoped that it wasn’t anything serious, that maybe Y/N just had a bad day. “She left so suddenly and I got a little worried...” 

For a moment there was silence between the two of them, Corpse impatiently awaiting an answer and Sean thinking about the right words... or wondering whether he should tell him the reason for Y/N’s disappearance in the first place. 

“It’s- ugh.” Sean groaned, before letting out a heavy sigh “It stays between us, all right? I don’t want others to start texting her out of nowhere, asking if she’s okay. She would probably kill me.”

“Yeah, absolutely” Corpse nodded his head rapidly, even though Sean couldn’t see him. 

“Okay... So I don’t know the exact reason of her disappearance...” he began, and Corpse felt his heart sink in disappointment. “But I have some suspicion.”

“Can you be a little more specific, Sean? We don’t have much time before the next game...” Corpse didn’t want to sound rude but he was slowly growing impatient, and even more nervous when he still wasn’t able to check on Y/N and make sure that she’s okay.

“She received lots of hate after our last stream.” Sean finally explained, although his voice sounded quite reluctant. “And when I say lots, I mean lots, Corpse.”

“What?” Corpse grunted, his brows knitted together in confusion “What do you mean?”

“Oh you know, man... Comments on Twitter, on her Instagram, even under her latest video...” Sean let out an exasperated sigh “Apparently, some people are not happy that she’s playing with us.”

“Why?” Corpse managed to utter, completely shocked at the news. For some reason, it was the last thing he expected Sean to say. It didn’t even cross his mind that someone as sweet and polite as Y/N might have to deal with this kind of issue. 

She was always so kind, why would anyone hate on her? 

“You know how some people act online...” Sean murmured, his voice clearly gloomy, as opposed to his usual cheerful tone. “They think she shouldn’t be playing with us cause she’s not popular enough. Some consider her annoying, not funny enough, and so on...”

“What does popularity have to do with who we’re playing with?” Corpse almost growled these words, feeling anger slowly bubbling up in his stomach. He couldn’t comprehend why anyone would act this way towards Y/N, towards this little angel as Sean put it last time they played, towards this sweet, innocent girl, his partner in crime... 

“That’s what I told her before the stream” Sean explained with a sigh “And that she shouldn’t worry about what strangers think of her... but it’s easier said than done.” 

“You think she received another text or something?”

“I don’t know man” Sean sighed “I tried calling her like ten times already and she didn’t answer. It’s not like her to leave so suddenly, without saying goodbye. I’m worried something happened...” 

Corpse clenched his jaw, closing his eyes for a second. If Y/N didn’t answer Sean’s calls, why would she answer his? They barely knew each other, while Sean was her best friend.  

“Maybe... I’ll try calling her?” Corpse suggested anyway, his voice low and almost shy. He figured it was worth at least a try. 

Sean was quiet for a moment as if contemplating what to do. They were already running out of time, and Corpse didn’t know what to do. On one hand, he didn’t want to end the stream and leave his fans, he felt bad at the thought alone of disappearing so soon and disappointing them... But on the other, he couldn’t just leave Y/N like that. Especially, since as Sean explained, it wasn’t like her to act this way. It only proved that whatever happened was rather serious.

“Y’know what?” Sean suddenly said “I’ll give you her number, maybe she’ll pick up from you.”

“Thank you, Sean” Corpse said quietly, ready to end the call, only to be stopped by Sean’s words. 

“Look... I know I shouldn’t be asking you to do it, but... could you maybe try talking some sense into her?” he asked, clearly uncomfortable with this request “I feel like you’d be able to calm her down...”

“I...” Corpse stuttered, running a hand through his hair “I’ll try, okay? I’m not sure if she’ll want to talk about it though, I’m basically a stranger, so...”

“Corpse, she agreed to join us only after reading your last tweet.” 

Oh. 

His heart fluttered with something that didn’t seem like growing panic. And even though his face was expressing his worry, his lip corners formed a small, bashful smile. And whether he liked it or not, his cheeks turned completely red.

“I’ll... I’ll see what I can do” he managed to reply, before ending the call. 

Corpse ran a hand through his locks and down his face, releasing a heavy breath he didn’t know he was holding. He considered getting Y/N’s number a difficult task which, however, turned out to be the easiest one. Now came the real challenge. Calling her. 

For a moment, he just stared at the screen of his phone, scanning the new message from Sean, which consisted of Y/N’s phone number. It looked as if he was memorizing the number when in reality, he just felt panic overtaking his body and complete chaos in his mind. 

Let’s say she picks up the phone, and then what? Should he just say hi? Introduce himself? 

“Hi it’s me, the guy you basically don’t know and who became paranoid after you disappeared from the game” 

 Yeah, sure. Perfect introduction for the pep talk he was supposed to deliver. 

Why was it always that he acted almost as if on instinct one second, only to start having second thoughts a moment later. He couldn’t back out now when he had already got her number. Not when there was also another person counting on him. Not when he still didn’t know what the fuck happened, and for some reason was determined to find out. 

And then was the problem of his voice, which suddenly seemed stuck in his throat. It was a very weird feeling, typical for one to get while being on the verge of a panic attack. As if there was a need to talk, but the body refused to. As if his vocal cords were paralyzed and not eager to cooperate. 

As if it was him who just experienced something strongly upsetting, not Y/N. 

Corpse fidgeted with his phone for a moment, before deciding against the idea of calling the girl. He figured he wouldn’t be able to utter a single word if she picked up the phone from the unknown number in the first place. If she did though, she’d probably consider it some misdialed call or some prank. Which was the last thing he wanted her to think.

Instead, he opted on sending her a text. 

He sat still for a moment, thinking about a message that wouldn’t right away reveal the cause of his concern, but which would say enough to figure out who sent it. His thoughts drifted back to the game they were both playing, remembering his stupid comments and her gentle voice. His fingers typed out the message almost automatically. 

“Wanna jump into the lava with me?”

He hesitated just for a second, before sending the text, his heart doing a backflip in his chest the moment he pressed the send button. Corpse gripped the phone tightly in his hands, his eyes staring at the screen and waiting impatiently for those three little dots indicating that the other person is typing a response to appear. He waited and waited, and a lump slowly formed in his throat when Y/N didn’t respond immediately. 

Was he really getting paranoid? 

Maybe he was just tired. Or she had a bad day. Or she just found this game boring.

Or she didn’t want to play with them. Or she thought his comments were annoying. 

“I’m an idiot” Corpse muttered to himself and slapped a hand on his forehead, pushing those thoughts away. Deep down he knew that wasn’t the case, but the longer Y/N didn’t respond, the louder was the voice at the back of his head, telling him that her problems were none of his business and he shouldn’t be asking for her number in the first place.

But it was the right thing to do. He knew it, Sean knew it, and Corpse also hoped that Y/N did not perceive his text as some pathetic joke. He waited for a couple of minutes, before typing another message:

“I’m here, partner, if you need to talk.” 

He felt the need to assure her that despite the ongoing stream and the other players probably already waiting for him to return, he was there for her. That’s what he considered the best option, not to force her into talking, but to let her know that she wasn’t alone. And that it would take just one word from her to make Corpse drop everything and listen to her. 

After what seemed like an eternity of staring at his phone and analyzing his own messages, Corpse put his phone away, realizing that Y/N wasn’t going to reply anytime soon. He couldn’t help but feel disappointed in himself, and guilty as well. Perhaps it would be a better idea to call her, but at that moment he wasn’t able to trust his own voice. He thought about sending her another message but decided against it. Another new text was probably the last thing she needed, with her phone being drowned by hundreds of notifications from angered, and worried fans. 

All Corpse could do was hope that she saw his texts and that she knew she wasn’t all alone. He sure as hell wasn’t going to make her feel as if she was obliged to confide in him. After all, he was a stranger. 

Then again... sometimes to understand a problem and look at it from a different, new perspective, what one needed was, indeed, a complete stranger. 

-

The next two hours felt almost like an eternity. And a complete hell to Corpse. He tried his best to focus on the game and interacting with his fans, but no matter what, his eyes would drift towards his phone every now and then. Hoping to see Y/N’s name pop up on his screen, with a message saying that everything was fine. 

But then again... would it be enough to calm his nerves? Maybe she’d write something like that just so he wouldn’t worry. Just so he would leave her alone.

She might as well just tell him to fuck off...

The fact that he received so many notifications all the time, especially now, during a stream, didn’t really help. Each time his phone lit up with a new notification, he would crane his neck with the hope of seeing Y/N’s response, only to be disappointed when it turned out to be just some new comment or someone tagging him in an instastory. Something that usually made him really happy now was the reason for his irritation. 

He couldn’t focus on the game itself either, finding it difficult to do his tasks and form some logical arguments during discussions. He didn’t really care, to be honest, when people threw him away almost at the start of the game. Winning or being the best Impostor was currently the last thing on his mind.

So when he said his goodbyes after the last round of Among Us and ended the stream, after thanking his fans, Corpse didn’t know what to do with himself. The game, even though he didn’t really pay much attention to it, provided at least some distraction from his phone, which was still silent when it came to Y/N’s texts. She either didn’t see them or didn’t want to see them. Corpse could only guess what was her reaction if there was any. 

He’d exchanged a few messages with Sean though, the man asking about Y/N during the stream and after it ended. Corpse couldn’t stop the guilt from growing even more when Sean expressed his concerns regarding Y/N and her absence. He knew the older streamer counted on him when it came to checking on the girl, but, obviously, he failed at getting a simple message from her. 

What was he even hoping to achieve in the first place? That she will text back right away, telling him everything that bothered her, confessing all her problems? He would have to be a total idiot to expect this girl to react to his messages.

It was all so overwhelming and frustrating at the same time that he felt almost nauseous. 

Leaving his phone in his room, Corpse walked to his small kitchen to grab a glass of water. The cold liquid brought much-needed relief to his burning throat, giving him a momentary sensation of comfort. He tested his voice, clearing his throat carefully and mumbling some nonsense under his breath. A sigh left his lips once he realized he could talk again and this weird feeling disappeared. 

He splashed his face with cold water and returned to his room, plopping down on his chair and giving his phone a quick glance. Perhaps he didn’t expect Y/N to reply to his texts at all because at first, he didn’t even notice her name on the screen of his phone. He looked back to his computer, almost out of habit, glancing between the tabs he had opened on his screen before. 

And it struck him suddenly, making him almost jump out of his skin when he realized that she did text him back. 

Grabbing his phone quickly, he unlocked it and opened the messages, almost hitting the one with Y/N’s name on it. 

“Hey, partner.” was all the message said. And yet it made Corpse’s heart almost jump out of his chest, both from relief and a sudden feeling of panic. 

She texted him back. Now, what the fuck was he supposed to do?! 

He stared at her text for a second as if trying to convince himself that it was real and he didn’t accidentally pass out on his desk, dreaming that Y/N takes his comments and texts seriously. 

When he came to the conclusion that the text was, indeed, real, and Y/N probably expected him to write something back, he thought about the best way of asking her what happened. On one hand, he knew from Sean what could possibly be the reason for her disappearance. On the other, what obviously mattered was Y/N’s version. How to get it out of her though, without being too intrusive?

Corpse decided that the best option will be to make some dumb, small talk, which would ease her (and his) nerves.

“Y’know, I almost didn’t manage to finish the mission without you” he texted her, concluding that playing along this partner thing would maybe work. In his text, Corpse referred to the one time he was the Impostor after Y/N left, and which happened to be completely boring without her running around “Had Toast and others suspecting my every step all the time.”

This time, much to his relief, the three little dots appeared almost immediately.

“I’m glad you managed to kill’em all nevertheless.”

He imagined her saying it with that sweet voice of hers, which made him snicker, whether he liked it or not. While thinking of some right response, Corpse couldn’t help but wonder how did she know that he managed to kill every crewmate during that round... she wasn’t playing anymore then, so that could only mean she watched his stream.

“Not gonna lie though, everything would go way smoother hadn’t my partner in crime left me on the battlefield all alone :/” he texted her back. Corpse watched intently as the three dots danced next to Y/N’s name and suddenly disappeared, then appeared back again after a few moments, only to disappear again. And for a second he panicked, that maybe this text sounded passive aggressive, or that it made Y/N blame herself for leaving the game... 

However, when her response finally came, he realized he was wrong.

“Can I call you, Corpse?” 

For the first time in a really long time, Corpse was so eager to agree on a phone call.

He replied frantically, telling her that of course, she could call him, and then waiting impatiently for the call. And when she didn’t call immediately, like he expected her to, he found himself wondering if she suddenly changed her mind and decided against the idea of calling him. 

But then his phone buzzed and her name appeared on the screen.

The device almost flew out of his hands, his heartbeat quickening and a lump forming in his throat once again.

Relax, man. It’s Y/N, your partner in crime. You’ve heard her voice before. 

But this was different. The circumstances were different and the reason for a call was different too. And now it was just the two of them, as opposed to a lobby full of friends. And Corpse tried so hard to figure out how to convince her that all the hate she receives on social media didn’t mean anything, that for a moment he forgot she was still calling.

He pressed the green button carefully, as if he was defusing a bomb, and found himself unable to utter a single word, just like before. There was silence on the other line too, as if Y/N expected him to speak up first. 

So Corpse build up the courage and took in a deep breath, before letting out a quiet, almost shy:

“Hi”

 The word left his mouth almost as a whisper, and for a moment he thought that the girl didn’t even hear it, but then her voice told him otherwise.

“Hey... Corpse” she mumbled. She sounded so different, almost as if she was sick. Her calm and soft voice was so quiet that Corpse had some trouble hearing her at first. She sounded so tired, so hurt, so defeated, that he completely forgot every advice he had managed to stock in his mind before this call. 

“It’s good to hear you, partner.” he said after a moment, realizing that asking what’s wrong wasn’t the best thing he could do at that moment. He felt that she’d probably hung up on him if he did... “I didn’t think I’d hear from you after you aborted the mission.”

He heard her sigh out a laugh at his words, his tone playfully accusatory. The girl cleared her throat and wondered for a second, before replying:

“It wasn’t exactly my mission... And if I remember correctly, you were the one who broke our partnership, chasing me around the ship.” 

He could almost hear the smile behind her words, which made his lip corners curl up slightly. He was glad she still managed to joke with him. It meant that, perhaps, it wasn’t that bad. 

“Did I kill you, though?” 

“You would if you had a chance.”

“I had plenty of chances Y/N, and I never took one” he replied right away with a chuckle. “I may be the murderer, but I’m no traitor.”

“You say that after luring me to that lava pit and killing me and Sykkuno? It was a trap all along, wasn’t it?” she asked suspiciously, but he knew she was joking “I bet you were conspiring with MrBeast all this time...”

“How dare you” he scoffed, trying to hold back his chuckle “I took you there cause it’s a special place, it was no trap! It just happened to be the wrong place and the wrong time...”

“Sure, partner”

“I’m serious!” he laughed “Besides - I apologized, and if I remember correctly, I think we both agreed that I jumped into that lava pit for you after all...”

“After they voted you off! You didn’t have any other chance!”

“Maybe it was all planned?” he said, changing his voice to more mysterious “Maybe I conspired with MrBeast so I could jump into that lava pit... and the only way to do it is by being voted off. So, either way, I kept my word.”

“Fine... whatever.”

Their laughter died down and was replaced by surprisingly comfortable silence. Corpse was happy with how the conversation started - he believed it would be easier for Y/N to explain what happened now, if she wished to explain, of course. 

“Y’know...” he began after a second, deciding to change the subject and finally address the issue. “Partners are supposed to help each other... and be there when the other person is in need...”

He was careful with his words, being full aware that Y/N might find it uncomfortable to share her problems with him. He wanted to encourage her, just slightly, if his previous texts weren’t enough. 

She sighed quietly and he could sense her reluctance. 

“But only if the other person wants partner’s help.” he added after a moment, keeping his voice as soft as he could. Y/N didn’t respond right away, but she didn’t hang up either, which Corpse took as a good sign. He gave her a couple of seconds to collect her thoughts, before asking another question: 

“What made you so upset, Y/N/N?”

He could hear her inhale the air sharply as if she had trouble breathing steadily. The line went silent, not that Corpse was surprised. He waited patiently, giving the girl the time she needed to decide whether she wanted to answer that question and what words should she choose if she did. 

And when she finally spoke up, Corpse felt as if his heart could break.

“They are just so mean...” she almost whispered, her voice cracking. He didn’t have to ask whom she meant, it was obvious. “And I don’t even know why... I didn’t do anything to those people, and yet they are so mean towards me.”

Corpse hummed in response, allowing her to keep talking. If there was one thing he knew that helped coping with stress, it was sharing it with someone else. And even though he himself had a lot on his plate, he felt the need to be that someone for Y/N. 

“I... I don’t want you to think that I’m some crybaby, who takes everything super seriously and can’t take a joke, but...” she stuttered for a moment and Corpse fought the urge to cut her off and tell her that what he thinks of her is the complete opposite. “But those comments... those weren’t jokes, Corpse. I don’t think anyone would find them funny.”

His heart ached at the sound of her quiet, weak voice. And then it angered him, that some anonymous haters managed to upset this cheerful, innocent person. How could anyone do something like that to Y/N?

“I... I’m sorry for telling you this...” she suddenly trailed off, sounding rather awkward and uncomfortable. “I shouldn’t be bothering you with my silly problems...”

“They aren’t silly as long as they are problems to you, Y/N.” 

“Yeah, but... I’m sure everyone from the group has received such comments at some point of their career... or maybe they still receive them...” she murmured almost embarrassed. “Maybe it’s no such a big deal after all...”

“Let me ask you something” Corpse said, feeling anger bubbling up in his stomach. Not directed at Y/N, of course, but at the people who made her think this way. “Imagine that someone, let’s say me, calls you because of the same reason. Would you consider telling me that online hate, or any hate for that matter, is not a big deal? That those are just my silly problems” 

She was silent for a moment, thinking about his question, and probably not expecting it in the first place. However, after a few seconds of initial surprise, she replied firmly:

“Of course not.” 

“Then why are you trying to convince yourself that they are?” he asked in what would sound like an accusatory tone, but in reality was just his voice laced with worry. “There’s no such thing as a silly problem Y/N, as long as it bothers you. If you consider it a problem, then it is a problem. And the fact that other people receive similar, or even worse comments, doesn’t mean anything. Maybe just that they are longer on Youtube and they’ve learned to deal with this kind of stuff... And your reaction? It doesn’t make you a crybaby and please Y/N, don’t ever think that way about yourself.”

He said it all so quickly and almost on one breath, letting all his frustration out and trying to form his babbling into some logical statement. 

“I understand what you’re going through...” he confessed after a moment of silence between them. “I know what it’s like to go through the ocean of positive comments and find those few which say something completely different... something that is meant to hurt you and humiliate you... Something that ruins your day, or even a couple of next few days or weeks... Something that completely overshadows everything else you’ve read about yourself. Something that people write from the safety of their own computers or phones, without showing their faces and remaining completely anonymous.”

For a moment, Corpse allowed himself to speak about his own experience, thinking that maybe when Y/N realizes that he knew exactly what she was dealing with, it would make it easier for her. “And that is the key fact, Y/N, that they are anonymous. They do what they do because no one can see them because it is comfortable for them to leave a hate comment and not face any consequences. Because they don’t have to face the person their hate is directed towards.”

“Some of the accounts were not anonymous...” Y/N mumbled, and Corpse could clearly hear that she was speaking through the tears. “People were using their public accounts, with photos and everything...”

“But let me guess, those comments weren’t even about your videos, huh? They weren’t about any of your work?” 

“Well...” she whispered, thinking about Corpse’s question. “Truth to be said, no. Most of them just looked like some kind of a personal attack on me...” 

“Exactly. It’s not even criticism, it’s just plain bullshit cowards are sharing online. They probably aren’t even able to form some logical sentence, they just combine some random words which are supposed to hurt you.”

“It works...”

“Y/N...” Corpse sighed into the phone, hearing her defeated tone. “Let me ask you another question, okay?” she hummed in response, and Corpse cleared his throat. “Tell me, whose opinion matters to you the most?”

“My friends... and my fans’“she said.

“Okay.. and whom do you consider your fan?”

“Someone who finds the content I create interesting and entertaining and takes his time to watch my videos.” she replied right away.

“Okay. Do you think that people who left those comments took their time to even watch your videos?” 

“Probably not...” she replied after a second. “Look, I know what you mean Corpse... That I shouldn’t worry about it because they are not my fans and therefore their opinion shouldn’t matter... but that’s not the case. It’s the fact alone that for some reason people spend their time hating me when I didn’t even do anything to them.”

“You didn’t do anything to them.” Corpse repeated her own words in his deep voice. “And they didn’t watch your videos. It seems like they don’t have any reason to leave those comments, right?” he asked. “I know that it’s hard Y/N, I really do, but the truth is, you can’t really have everyone leaving positive feedback under your content... There will always be someone who will consider it a good idea to send you a hateful message, just because they can, not because they have any specific reason to. Now I don’t say that’s okay... but it’s in a way like some disease. The one there’s no cure for. Even though you can’t cure it, you can make yourself immune.” 

“How, Corpse? How do you make yourself immune to messages saying that you’re a fucking annoying bitch, that you don’t deserve what you have? That you don’t deserve your friends, and you are not good enough to play with them? To spend your time with them? How do you deal with comments suggesting that you should go and kill yourself, because you’re not famous enough, and you will never be?” 

Her voice suddenly rose, and Corpse felt as his heartbeat quickened with each comment she described. He gripped his hand around the phone, his knuckles turning white and his brows furrowing in an expression of pure fury. 

He considered her words for a moment, trying to come up with the best advice, but realized there wasn’t any that would satisfy her. He could imagine the state she was in, she probably wouldn’t take any of his advice seriously. And he wouldn’t blame her for that. 

“I’m sorry for snapping on you...” she suddenly said, her voice back to its soft tone. “It’s just too much for me to handle...”

“It’s all good, Y/N, don’t apologize. You have the full right to be angry and to show it. I just want you to remember that...” Corpse gulped the lump in his throat, feeling his cheeks getting warmer. “Those comments are not what define you. As a matter of fact, they’re not even about you. You know why? Because people who write them don’t know you. They don’t even take a moment to acknowledge what an intelligent and talented person you are, not to mention how kind... but I do. A-and everyone else too.”

She was silent for a moment, and Corpse panicked, that maybe he said too much, or made things awkward again. But then she spoke up, her slightly less weak than before.

“I suppose... maybe you’re right, Corpse.” she said, still sounding a little bit unconvinced. He understood, it was clear his one pep talk wouldn’t suddenly make her forget about it. It would be like telling a person with depression to stop having depression and expecting them to suddenly feel better. “Thank you. For listening to my pathetic babbling... and for not telling me to just pull myself together.”

“First of all, your babbling is not pathetic...” he began “Second of all... I know we don’t really know each other, but... If you ever feel the need to talk to someone, I’m here.”

“And for that I’m grateful, Corpse” she said, clearly smiling. “Sorry, I mean, partner.”

“Partner.” he chuckled into the phone, smiling from ear to ear. 

“It’s getting late...” she yawned into the phone. “Sorry. I think I’ll go to sleep, I’m really tired...”

“Of course” Corpse replied, hiding the disappointment in his voice. He really enjoyed talking to her, just to her alone, but he understood that the whole conversation and the event preceding it probably exhausted her. 

“Hey...” she suddenly said, and Corpse could swear that her voice sounded as if she unexpectedly became shy. “Um... it was really great talking to you, you’re a really good listener, Corpse.”

“Glad to hear that” he smiled happily.

“Um... would you mind if I called you tomorrow too?” she asked so quietly that he almost didn’t catch it, his breath hitching in his throat. “If you have time that is... if you don’t, or if you have some super plans, then I understand, it’s fine-”

“I don’t have any super plans, Y/N” he couldn’t help but chuckle, finding her nervous banter adorable. “Call me whenever you want.”

“Okay...” she sighed, almost in relief, but Corpse didn’t want to point it out to embarrass her even more. “So... let’s say, around 2 pm?” 

“Sounds good to me.”

“Great.” she said, her voice trailing off a bit. “I’m falling asleep here, Corpse... Thank you once again, for everything.”

“Anytime, Y/N.”

“Good night, partner.”

“Goodnight, partner.” 

-

Part 5 coming soon. It will probably be the last part of this series, I’m not sure yet though.

TAG LIST FOR PURE IS CLOSED. 

TAG LIST FOR CORPSE REQUESTS/OTHER FICS IS OPEN (if you want to be tagged, please send me a text)

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[deleteddewewted]

Incel!Shinsou x F!Reader fanfic idea (Part 2)

So here we are, Incel!Shinsou is back and this time with a bit of growth that he needs to make independently (While thinking about the reader of course. Thank you so much to @blossominglark for sending in such a lovely message! Also here you can find a small explanation as to why i even started the Incel!Shinsou series.)

"I think I want you. I think you're bad. I think you're good, it's like the love I never had. I think I need you. Oh God, it's true. I think I'm falling and there's nothing I can do" - Beetlejuice Chill by Life After Youth

Part 1: Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader

Part 3: Incel!Shinsou x F!Reader (1/2)

How difficult could it be? To forget that you ever existed... thats what's haunting Shinsou ever since the conversation you two had a few days ago. He cant seem to focus anymore, everything just reeks of you. (His own bedroom where you two would sit on the floor and work on your project together. You would laugh at something that came on the television, every time resulting in his face heating up and heart beating harder at the sound, the beautiful sound, of your laughter. It doesn't feel the same anymore. He cant sit or sleep there anymore.) Shinsou starts speaking with Aizawa more, to be honest its not like Aizawa gave him that much of a choice. He needed to understand what was happening with his son and you in order to help or bring some constructive input.

Shinsou goes on and on about how he mocked you to his "friends". When questioned on his "friends" he said that they were all telling him that you needed to be taught how to be a "proper woman" the "perfect girl for them".

("Hitoshi what-...why would you...?"

"I don't know! It made sense when i was young and- i... i dont understand how or why and...please just- help me i dont understand!"

"It's ok, it's ok, come here." Aizawa hugs Shinsou tightly. He starts running his hand over Shinsou's hair comforting him.

"What did you show them? What did you tell them about...her, exactly?") A mess of tears and regrets, thats what Shinsou is. A puddle which he somehow drowned you in out of a bitter rage that had nothing to do with you.

Aizawa finally holding a grasp as to how Shinsou's mind worked, he couldn't help but feel defeated. He neglected his son so much he became bitter and resentful towards the wrong people, the wrong person. (Aizawa only ever told Shinsou that his mother moved away from them because it was "too much for her". Young Shinsou couldn't grasp why his mom would leave him, but again he never really asked questions since he saw how upset it made his dad. "Dont worry Hitoshi, ill be here for you no matter what. Got it, problem child?") An intervention needs to be made now. To prevent even more damage, to keep his son safe and his sons ex-friend safe.

"Hitoshi? The posts and things you put online, you need to delete everything now." Urgency was a must, damage control needed to happen now. Who knows if Shinsou wrote about where he lived, where you lived and studied at, if he showed those "friends" of his your face. Who knows how much information he put out there to a bunch of strangers about you. "Ok, ok. Let me delete everything...yeah...thats-yeah...makes sense." He's slipping, Shinsou is slipping into a pit of shock and disgust, he needs to fix things and that only starts by wiping away years of miss informed opinions disguised as truths.

Everything is gone. No more accounts. No more pictures. No more you. He didn't make any announcements or even address why he was wiping everything. He didn't answer the piles of questions flooding his inbox about why he was doing all of this, he just didn't care anymore. He couldn't find you either. No account on any platform with any signs of you. (He should have asked for your socials, but knowing where you two started off at he thinks its better that you two didn't. It saved you from his incessant torment he saw himself being capable of.)

Week one came and went. You didn't show up for classes and people started to take notice.

"Does anyone know why y/n isn't at school anymore? Is she sick?" Midoriya asked one day. Everyone kind of just looked at each other hoping that someone might have an answer. Be it that no one other then Shinsou was in the same class as you, everyone in his friend group knew about you since you where always nice despite the way you presented clothing wise. (The clothing didn't matter nor did the labels, you were still so welcoming to everyone. Hell, you even welcomed Monoma and that guy is considered psycho by everyone.) Shinsou couldn't do anything but listen to his friends (Midoriya, Shoto, Denki, Mina, Iida, and Ururaka) go on about how nice you were. How they miss you. He misses you . He ruined this, he ruined your school experience and pushed you to lose the friends you had because of his own ignorance. He forced you to choice between showing up to school and dealing with him or not coming in at all and losing the friends you had because of him.

The Sports Festival was coming up soon, here all the students would compete against each other to show off their skills. The Festival acts more as an opportunity for the different Courses to fight each other since its focus centers on the physical strength and wellbeing of the students instead of their study of focus. It also helps with publicity by letting UA show off their students to the general public. (Shinsou didn't understand why the school would have a Sports Festival. UA was better known for being STEM and Art focused which meant that many of the students only had to take 1 year of P.E. instead of the 3 years other schools required.

"So again, what's the purpose of this?"

"Its just a chance for the different Courses to bully each other, and for the General Course to get mocked." responded Togeike. Be it that she never spent time with Shinsou, they both had a mutual attitude and just stayed away from each other out of disinterest. It wasn't after Shinsou's personality changed did she feel more comfortable being around him and started speaking to him casually throughout the day.

"So what does the Business Course do during-"

"Hey, didn't you and y/n work on that project together?" This caught Shinsou of guard. For the past week its all been about you and how you hadn't been coming to class. (You haunt him even outside of school, the guilts too much for him at times.)

"Yeah...what about it." he snarls. Just because he's changed in appearance and largely in attitude, that doesn't mean he's over the way he treats people. Cant she get to the point already-

"Geez man, i just wanted to ask if you needed her number." That...was off. Why would she assume that he needed your number?

"Why would you give me her number? Don't you think that as former project partners i would already have her-"

"You're clearly upset about her not being here, so shut up. Either take it or leave it, jackass." she bit back. How did she know? Shinsou has always had a resting bitch face which made it hard to read his emotions. How did she manage to figure it out? (God he was an asshole!)

"Yeah, please....i'm sorry. I could-"

"Please shut the fuck up, i don't want an apology from you. Take it and fix this shit. I hate seeing people mope and you're pretty much dying in a pit here." Togeike really gives no fucks and she was tired of the purple haired boy looking like a kicked puppy. She assumed it had something to do with you. When you started skipping class, Shinsou also started to look upset and wouldn't speak that often. It wasn't like Shinsou was shy, he just didn't see the need to speak all the time. So to see him become even more silent was concerning.)

He left school that day with a skip to his step. He has your number! He has a way of contacting you! Yet, he still knew that having your number wouldn't fix anything. You left him alone and it wouldn't be fair for him to barge back into your life without proving he's improving, that he's actually deserving of you're friendship at least....

The Sports Festival.....

He can prove himself to you there....

Everyone will see it, every student at UA has to be there for credit....you'll have to be there. You'll also have to participate for the start of it, so you'll have to interact with someone.

(This was it)

This was so much fun to write! Lets give this a slow build up to give him proper character development and redemption. The next part will be the Sports Festival and what he plans on doing to get you back. Let's set up that his intention is too for one, make an impression on the school for when he decides to transfer to the Art Course but also to make an impression on you and get you to notice him in a positive light. Our poor incel is trying his best ok....

[pupandangelscoffee]

Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz x Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: mention of car crash, scene in the hospital, arguing with doctors

Synopsis: When Buck realizes he is not just in love with you but also in love with Eddie and admits to having kissed him, will he lose both of you or will he get his happy ever after?

Taglist: @enterprise-medical

Turning around and feeling the cold covers next to him leaves a bitter taste in Buck's mouth as he remembers the previous night. The yelling, the fighting, him saying that you didn't matter to him unlike Chris and Eddie. He regretted it the moment the words left his mouth, because you did matter to him, he was just confused. His feelings towards Eddie had changed over the past few weeks and two nights ago, he had kissed Eddie in a drunken haze.

But that hadn't been the only thing that confused him. He had spoken to Maddie and after her questioning, she suggested that he may be in love with you AND his best friend. When telling Eddie about it, he expected the other to laugh, yet instead the other male just hummed and stated "so just like me".

So now he was waking up to an empty apartment, his head feeling like it was about to explode. Buck missed your scent, your soft voice when you're just waking up, how he brings you coffee while you whine about wanting to stay in bed for just 5 more minutes. His heart clenches at the thought of you placing gentle kisses along his shoulder, your chuckles, your laugh when he told you some weird fact that he read online.

Ever so slowly the day drags on. Eddie doesn't even spare him a second glance at work, only talking to him when it is work related. Even the whole team noticed something was up between the two best friends, though unsure of what it is. Well almost all were unsure, Chimney knew what was going on from Maddie, however, he was sworn to secrecy by his wife and despite not wanting to admit it, she did scare him just a bit. Though he just kept quiet and watched the two males with careful eyes, ready to report everything to Maddie.

Dragging his feet as he enters the apartment, he calls out that he is home, hoping to hear your voice from the kitchen. Instead he is met with deafening silence. A silence he wishes didn't exist, a silence that he hates being the cause of. Dropping his bag on the floor, he sets his keys on the table before falling onto the couch and letting out a loud groan. Just as he is about to doze off, his stomach lets out a loud growl and after debating whether to ignore his hunger or not, Buck decides to order some chinese food.

Once he has eaten, he just stares at the wall for a good 10 minutes before grabbing his keys and rushing to the only person he can think of. A quick 5 minute drive later, he ran 2 red lights but he is distracted, and he is standing in front of Bobby's house. Sure, Athena and Bobby may be having a cute date night, but right now he needs dating advice and who better to get it from than his captain. Taking a deep breath, he finally knocks and waits for Bobby to open the door, who looks rather shocked to see a crying Buck standing outside of the door and quickly ushering him inside.

It takes exactly 1 beer, 6 tissues and Athena's calming words for Buck to open up about what had happened between him, his partner and Eddie. After hearing the entire story, the married couple sits there in shock as Buck is trying to calm down. "So that is why you two were so awkward at work today?" Bobby asks carefully, not wanting to send the younger male into another crying fit. Buck nods, blowing his nose before wiping away the remaining tears with his sleeve.

"Look, I don't know whether you want to hear this or not, but you need to grow a pair and invite them both over to your place, so that you can talk this shit out. It might not end with you three together, but it will give you all some closure. And who knows, maybe it will end with you all three happily dating." Athena states gently, rubbing Buck's back. Somehow the younger male had weaseled his way into her heart and she worried about him, especially when seeing him so heartbroken. But there simply wasn't anything her nor Bobby could do about the situation, they could only give Buck the support that he needed right now.

After his talk with Athena and Bobby, Buck slowly drove home, this time being a lot more careful. Once again, he finds himself laying on his couch, this time staring at his phone as he thinks about sending the message he had typed out, asking you and Eddie to come over the next morning. Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, he presses send before shutting off his phone and rushing up to hide under his blankets.

The next morning comes and goes without a single sign of you. Eddie turned up around 9 and even brought some coffee and breakfast, because he figured that Buck wouldn't have eaten yet. Soon enough, it is late afternoon and Buck has checked his phone like a million time, though there was no message or call from you. Now he's pacing back and forth in his kitchen as Eddie tries to calm his nerves. "Hey, mi amado, I'm sure they're just busy and that is why they haven't reached out yet. It will be okay."

Hearing those words help calm Buck's nerve, though he still jumps to pick up the phone when he hears it ring. "Y/N? Is this you?" He asks quickly, only to frown when he hears Maddie deny it. "Buck, listen, I just had a call and normally I wouldn't be allowed to tell you this, but it's about Y/N. They were in a car crash and on their way to the west hospital. They're stable, but I figured that you'd like to visit them." Maddie explains gently, knowing that it would be a rather hard blow for Buck. After all, hearing that your loved one was just delivered to a hospital because of a car crash wasn't an easy pill to swallow. "Thank you, Maddie." Buck mumbles, quickly hanging up so that he can grab his car keys and Eddie's hand, explaining on his way out where they were going.

They didn't know what to expect when they arrive at your room, though certainly not you glaring at the doctors and stating that you're absolutely fine. "You have to let yourself be checked on, mi amor." Eddie says, recovering from the state of shock quicker than Buck did. "And who are you?" The doctor asks the men, raising an eyebrow at the pair. "We are their-" Buck begins, only to be cut off by you saying "my boyfriends. Now as I've been saying, I'm fine, I can leave." You continue arguing with your doctor as the two males stare at you in complete shock and confusion. You just called them your boyfriends, did this mean you like them back? That you were okay with trying a relationship between you three? They share a look before approaching your bedside, Eddie being the first to speak up again. "Listen doctor, I am a trained medic. They'll be staying with me for the night and if there is any sign that they are doing unwell, I will bring them back here immediately, okay?" Sighing, the doctor nods and excuses himself to get the papers for you to be discharged.

Finally, an hour later, all three of you were curled up under a blanket on Buck's couch with you in the middle and the two men holding hands on your lap. A small happy sigh escapes Buck as he watches the two people he loves, thanking the gods above that he was so lucky to be with both of you. Though the moment is quickly ruined, when he miscalculates the distance to his mouth and pours beer all over his chest.

[workingforitallthetime]

zombie apocalypse or accidental marriage!

ok so i am absolutely obsessed with this picture of brendan brisson and matty beniers

the boys are all drinking and it comes up that somebody got ordained online (it's thom bordeleau. the answer is always thom bordeleau.) and everybody's like "you can marry people? c'mon, marry somebody, we wanna see it. marry somebody right now."

"i'll get married," briss says, kicking back in his chair. his barely-buttoned shirt slides off his shoulder and matty's eyes catch on the curve of his collarbone. briss gestures down his body. "which one of you wants to wife this shit up?"

"matty'll do it," truss says immediately. matty kicks him under the table. (matty might be the only person on the team who has not hooked up with brendan, in spite of or perhaps because of matty's long-time lowgrade crush on him.)

"uh..." matty says. everyone's pounding the table and chanting for a wedding.

and finally briss raises an eyebrow at him. "you too good for me?" and the intimation is that he thinks matty's judging him for being kind of a slut, and matty absolutely does not want brendan to think that so he pounds his beer and says let's fucking do this.

thom pulls up a ceremony script on his phone and adds a few flourishes, and then briss plants a jokey exaggerated kiss on matty that matty is not even going to think about feeling some kind of way about. somehow thom actually gets them to sign a marriage license, probably because there's a big fight over who gets to sign as the witnesses and the boys all rock-paper-scissors for it and the winners (luke and mackie?) absolutely demand to sign something and matty gives in just to shut them up and also because he doesn't want to disappoint the rookies.

a couple weeks later the certified copy of the license arrives in the mail and matty's like oh, hey, that was for real? "no worries," thom says. "i'll just unmarry you." and matty's all uh.... i don't think you can do that.

this is the kind of mess that matty would usually just let his agent sort out, but of course matty's agent is PAT BRISSON, and matty absolutely cannot be like "oh, so i accidentally married your son." so matty's on his own with this, and it becomes a big team joke with everybody always asking matty about his wife and telling them it's time to consummate the marriage when they get assigned to room together on a road trip. (which is exactly what happens) ("we can do this," briss says, climbing into matty's lap. "we're married now." and it's good, and terrifying, and matty is absolutely not going to make the mistake of thinking it means anything.)

anyway the fic is about matty assuming that party boy brendan cannot actually be into him in a meaningful way and brendan assuming that responsible 2OA matty cannot possibly see him as anything more than a hookup, and gradually they start to realize they're wrong.

HOWEVER i am who i am and so this fic is also about brendan brisson's WEST COAST DADDY ISSUES. being good at hockey has not earned his father's respect in the way that brendan always believed it would; pat is unable to completely disguise his disappointment that brendan is a charming party boy with no head for business. and brendan's belief that matty also won't take him seriously is all tied up with the judgment he's always felt from his father.

somehow there's a trip to LA, like maybe they're not calling this a relationship but they're still spending a lot of time together and kissing a whole lot and matty ends up going home with brendan over spring break or something. while they're there, brendan tells his father about the marriage, in some kind of vulnerable way, maybe hoping for support or happiness or something.

and pat's reaction is to get mad at brendan for fucking things up for his client matty (completely not paying attention to the obvious indicators that brendan is having some Feelings here.) it all looks so stupid when his dad puts it into words, throwing cold water all over this kind of elaborate fantasy that brendan's almost started to believe in. so brendan's like fine, clean up the fucking mess then, and slams the door of pat's office behind him.

pat sorts everything out and just hands matty the paperwork to sign, and matty's like "hold on..." because part of him had started to think maybe there was actually something there. but then matty sees that brendan's signature is already on it, and well, if that's what briss wants, matty's gotta accept that's the way it is.

sadness! moping! eventual reconciliation (somehow facilitated by the umich side cast)! boys in dubiously buttoned shirts living happily ever after!

[wonderwomanfantasy]

I Hate you, lets get married

oh, you thought I was done with this? I am not part one   part two

Atsumu x Reader

warnings: smut, drinking, dirty talk, mommy kink, 

words: 2,000 (ish)

summary: you run into your ex and as awful and embarrassing as that is the next morning might just be worse. 

You fucking hated running into people you knew at the grocery store. Like all you wanted to do was get your shit and get out but then you’d always see someone you knew then you felt obligated to talk to them, you would have hoped that the people in your life would know better than to talk to you at this point but apparently not. This was a little different though, it was much much worse. 

“(y/n)?” Atsumu fucking Myia of all people called stopping you in the middle of the wine aisle. You tensed and turned to face him. You could run, but he would probably just chase after you. 

“Hey,” you said giving him the once over. He was even bigger than when you’d been to college with him, his hair was lighter too, not as brassy as you remembered. “What are you doing here?” he laughed at your bluntness and held up a bottle of whiskey he was holding. 

“The same thing as you it seems,” he gestured to the basket in your arms full of cheese crackers and a bottle of wine. “Getting adult shitfaced,” you rolled your eyes

“God hasn’t been a celebrity made you any less vulgar?” you asked. 

“They tried, didn’t work out for them,” he said with a wink. He took a step closer smirking at you, “does that mean you’ve been keeping up with my career? I could sign something for ya if you want,” he teased. You scoffed and denied his offer not answering his question. You didn’t want to mention you’d gotten really into volleyball after dating him. 

“How was the wedding by the way? Sorry again I couldn’t make it,” he said, as if he’d even been invited to the wedding and didn’t just see the engagement announcement online. You ran your thumb over your bare ring finger, it was still a little weird being without it. 

“You didn’t miss much, we called it quits before getting married,” you said, Atsumu looked like he’d stepped on your foot. 

“Oh god, I’m sorry,” he said awkwardly. Glancing down at your hand seeing for himself the empty space on your hand where a ring should be. “What happened if you don’t mind me asking,”

You did mind actually. “He was too ambitious for me, I wasn’t good enough to give up on his dreams,” you sighed. That wasn’t really it. You were a scared asshole, scared of failur,e and too comfortable in the life you already had. You hadn’t even wanted to get married, that’s what you said when he proposed to you “what’s wrong with where we are?” not quite the enthusiast yes he was hoping for. That should have been a warning for both of you. 

“I get it,” he said nodding, the two of you had split for similar reasons. “You know if you want someone to share that wine with I’m not doing anything tonight, we could catch up,” he offered. You smiled, it might actually be nice to catch up with Atsumu. So you accepted. 

Atsumu smiled at you drunkenly, you could tell the whiskey was getting to him.  “I missed you,” he whispered. You laughed and rolled your eyes. “I did!”  he defended sitting up sharply “especially after we broke up, I missed you so so much I thought I’d never meet someone as pretty and smart as you,” he said flopping back down in your lap looking up at you with soft doe eyes. If you were sober you’d get mad at him, but you just laughed and affectionately smoothed down his cheek. 

“And you know what?” he asked smooshing his cheek into your hand. 

“What?” you hummed. 

“I never did, I’m convinced you’re the most perfect person in the world,” he sighed holding your hand inhis kissing your palm lightly. You couldn’t help but heat up at his words, when on earth did he get so sweet?

“I meant it when I said I loved you, back then I mean,” he murmured against your hand

“I know,” Atsumu talked a lot, and if you caught him when he was feeling antsy he’d say stuff he didn’t mean. But he didn’t lie, not about things like that. 

“I loved you to,” you admitted shyly. 

“You have no idea how happy I was to see you today, I thought about you so much, I thought ‘no way they’re still as hot as they were in college,’ but damn you’re somehow even hotter like you’re just one kid away from being a MILF,”

“ATSUMU!” you snapped jerking your hand away making him bark out laughing. 

“I’m just saying!” he defended. He sat up so you couldn’t hit him and reached for his glass taking another sip of his whiskey. 

“Well maybe I don’t want to be anyone’s mommy did you ever think of that?” you spat. he choked. He didn’t just choke, He damn near flew off the couch with how hard he jumped. You watched stunned as he spluttered and turned bright red. Atsumu normally never showed his belly like this. 

“S-Sorry,” he wheezed, “went down the wrong way,” you smiled at him wickedly,

“Really? Because to me, it seems like mommy had a bit of an effect on you,” you purred watching him squirm. 

“No, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he whispered, you glanced down at his crotch and he quickly crossed his legs

“Awe baby you know it’s bad to lie to your mommy,”

“Will you quit calling yourself that stupid nickname?

“Or what?”

“Or- Or-”

“Come on be a big boy use your words,”

“(y/n) please,”

“Uh hu, I’m mommy right now,” he was quiet and looking down at your floor, but you didn’t break you waited patiently for him to cave. 

“Please don’t tease me, mommy,” he said finally looking up at you. A thrill ran through your body, it was a rush hearing him whine like that for you. 

“There we go,” you praised moving closer and stroking his soft hair. “Why don’t you tell Mommy what you want,” you said. He leaned up into your touch needily, looking at you desperately 

“Anything I want?” he asked. Heat pooled in your stomach, you’d knew it would go like this from the second you let him into your house, but you were excited non the less

“Sure baby,”

“I want your chest,” he said reaching out to undo the buttons on your shirt. You knocked his hand away, you’d strip yourself thank you very much.

“You want to breastfeed baby?” you asked, slowly taking off your button-down, he didn’t answer, but the blush on his face told you everything you needed you hear. He didn’t reach out for you again, even when you were half-naked he was almost drooling but he was waiting patiently for you to give him permission. 

“Go on baby, nurse,” you cooed. He settled back into your lap latching his lips hungrily around your nipple sucking surprisingly gingerly. His large hands wrapped around your breasts squeezing rhythmically. You bit your lower lip trying not to moan. 

“Is that good baby?” you asked. 

“So good mommy,” he moaned switching to the other nipple, leaving your wet bud out in the cold air. You ran your hand through his hair scratching his scalp. 

“Do you want Mommy to touch you too?” you asked. He moaned at the idea and adjusted so you could reach the fly of his pants. You reach down and pulled out his cock stroking his length while he sucked on your tits. 

“M-Mommy,” he moaned bucking his hips up into your hand. “Please let me fuck you, please I need it.”

“You’re such a drama queen what are you going to die if I don’t let you fuck me?”  You teased, laying back on the couch letting him climb on top of you. You wrapped your fingers through his hair pulling him down into a messy kiss.

“P-please,” he sighed against your lips. You saw why he’d gotten a kick out of being in charge in college, it was a rush to have him begging for you like this.

“Then fuck me Tsumu,” you whispered. He was messy, drunk. Almost couldn’t get you out of your pants, but he didn’t disappoint. He fucked you hard into the back of the crouch so hard it forced you to wrap your legs around his hips. 

“It feels so fucking good mommy,” he moaned before diving into another sloppy kiss his tongue slipping in and out of your mouth 

“I’m going to cum,” he panted, although you didn’t need him to tell you that. You could feel in the way he throbbed inside of you, the way his thighs trembled, it was all so very familiar. You wound your hands through his hair and pulled. Hard. 

“No the fuck you’re not, you’re going to get mommy off then if you’re good I’ll let you cum is that clear?” you spat, his eyes went wide, then his cheeks filled with color. 

“Y-yes mommy,” he moaned obediently fucking into you edging himself so he could get you off. 

“I’m close,” you said He sighed in relief, Atsumu wasn’t sure he could hold out any longer you were so tight and warm around him it was making his head go numb. The second he felt your orgasm hit he couldn’t hold back anymore.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered kissing you as you both came down from your highs. You smiled to yourself and nuzzled into his neck, you’d really needed that. “Let's get married,” he purred, running the moment. 

“What?” you shouted shoving his chest. 

“Come on (y/n) what’s your biggest problem?”

“I think I’m too good to work on my own problems?”

“Jesus don’t get dark on me, you get into your own head too much, so just do something impulsive for once and marry me,” 

Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe you were just tired of being alone. He looked so pretty, you’d missed him a lot more than you’d realized. “Okay,” you breathed. “Let’s get married,” you said.

“Right now, I know a guy who can do it,” he said quickly getting to his feet and shoving his clothes back on. You laughed and followed him, trying to look presentable for your wedding. 

“Let’s get married!” you cheered. 

You woke up with a splitting headache. This was easily the worst hangover of your life, you hadn’t gotten that trashed in years you who hissed and turned over burring your face in the pillow. There was a groan from the other end of the bed and you remembered Atsumu had ended up staying the night. You froze, your pain momentarily forgotten, and looked down at your hand, where there was a cheap fake gold ring attached to your finger. Fuck.