#look at me talking about choices in the year of our lord 2024 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

auxiliarydetective · 11 months ago

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End-of-Year Appreciation Post

Let's see if I can get this done before midnight - I have 36 minutes! But I really wanted to get this posted, so... time for a speedrun! This post won't nearly be able to say everything I wanna say, so, first and foremost: I love and appreciate all of my mutuals and people I've gotten to talk to this year, so thanks for coming to my corner of the internet and gifting me a little (or a lot - because lord knows I don't shut up if someone mentions one of my favourite fandoms) of your time!

With that being said, time for some special thanks!

@wheresmybloodynauglamir The encyclopedia of Star Trek and one of my closest friends on this hellsite. Thanks so much for literally everything you've done for me this year and all the lovely conversations. Let's have a lot more of those next year! Live long and prosper <3

@littlemervie Thank you for indulging my very nichest of niche interests like The Little Prince and for always sending me a kind message when I least expected it.

@fluffle-system My favourite bnuy in the whole world and a fellow FNAF enjoyer. I hope I always get to be the auxiliary to your detective (yes, this is actually sort of an accurate aitiology of how my url came to be - if you know you know). Let's solve more mysteries and riddles together.

@supermarine-silvally You may have only very recently stumbled into my corner of the internet but I adore every conversation we've had and I hope that many more are to come. If I had to make a choice to pass on my OCs to anyone, the great Donna Aurelia would be yours, and that's a great honor, so I hope you know how much I appreciate our conversations!

@carriagelamp We didn't talk too much this year and that's frankly a crime, but I still stare lovingly at every piece of art you've created for me, with me, or simply for the fandoms I'm in - and the ones for fandoms I don't know I stare at from afar. Just letting you know that I smile everytime I see you on my dash :)

@faerieroyal Dolly my beloved! I hereby sincerely apologize for all the times I've hopped into our Discord chat to ramble about my OCs or whine about my hour-long adventures of looking for faceclaims and/or names, but I'm not planning on stopping anytime soon. The amount of positivity and support you bring into my life is immesurable and I absolutely adore you for supporting each of my OCs, even if you don't know their fandom, and how you let me introduce you to my newest hyperfixations when the brainrot strikes. - To many more rambling sessions!

@come-along-pond who allowed me to participate in the fyeahonepieceocs blog and gave me a platform to launch my own little project of a OP resources blog from. - Through anon hate and plot bunnies, you've helped me and supported me through so much and I'm really, really thankful for that!

@oneirataxia-girl @endless-oc-creations and everyone else in the Discord Server, thank you so much for suffering through my countless pings and appearing when I need you most to offer your advice and help. You've saved many of my OCs in the past and I'm certain you'll keep doing so in the future.

@starcrossedjedis @bravelittleflower and @ninjasawakenedmystar aka the angels who made Cora's creation possible - and by extention then also that of Lily and La Donna! Thanks so much, my fellow One Piece girlies!

@thehedgehogat221b who has been keeping me tethered to the A-Team fandom, making sure that I never forget how happy it makes me, and who always has time to spare to hear me ramble about Kit Kelley and her conman boyfriend

@daughterofhecata @bistdueinbaum and the entire Die Drei ??? fandom. You brought me onto Tumblr and though I may not be as active in the fandom anymore, Tumblr still considers my blog a Die Drei ??? blog and I don't plan on forgetting my roots anytime soon, so I promise you more detective content in the year 2024 - featuring my beloved Jelena, of course! My token adopted side character... Maybe I'll also hop into the Tatort fandom, who knows? Also, can we make Rosenheim Cops a fandom? I feel kinda lonely and silly over here lol

@claramurphyqueenoffandoms the VoicePlay supporter. Man, was I happy to find someone who loves these dorks as much as I do. We haven't talked much, but thanks so much for enabling the hyperfixation that triggered my character development into a happier person and letting me relive those memories.

@cody-helix02 @thoughpoppiesblow @footprintsinthesxnd @kafka-ohdear and the entire Band of Brothers fandom. You've been so nice to me from day one when I first stumbled into the fandom and you still are incredibly lovely people! I'd like to give something back, so, if you ever need any research done for your fic and you can't find anything, let me know and I'll traverse my resources and my university's library to see what I can find <3 Also, I shall present to you more Anita content in the future! There's one fic featuring Luz and one featuring Bull curently in my projects list!

@maxwellshimbo @asaturnerofficial and all the other lurkers and people I constantly find in my notes - you always brighten my day. I'll have had an awful no good time but then I see you and I go: "Ah yes, my friends are still here" and I feel so much better!

Thanks to much to everyone on and off the list, and have a very lovely new year!

#end of year appreciation #thanks so much everyone <3

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littlest-w01f · 8 months ago

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Slumber Party

Feyre x Evelyn (my oc, Tamlin's sister) [Feylin ship]

For @feyreweekofficial

Feyre week 2024 Masterlist

Day 7: Free day

Summary: Feyre having a first proper sleepover with Evelyn

Cw: Fluff, slightly sad, Friends yelling at each other about their choices to make bargains

Feyre couldn't believe it, in a year she had settled in the Spring court so easily, she had Evelyn to thank for it, bubbly Evelyn who always made sure to not make her feel excluded. Evelyn and Feyre had formed a sister-like friendship soon after Feyre had arrived to live in spring.

"So, have you ever had a sleepover?" Evelyn had asked her, her eyes wide, popping a berry in her mouth. The two of them were on a picnic, eating different forms of berries.

Feyre looked at her confused, chewing her own fruit, seated in Evelyn's garden, "Well, don't we every night? We live in the same palace..."

"Oh, you did not just say that," Evelyn looked at her almost offended, "No... That's not a sleepover."

She smiled softly, "A sleepover is another step of friendship, we do each other's hair, and nails, we talk about males, we twirl around in pretty dresses or just stay in our nightgowns." Evelyn smiled brighter, "And we also kick the males out and sleep in the same bed." Evelyn turned to face Tamlin and Lucien, who were a little further away from them when she stated it.

"That sounds fun." Feyre smiled back. "And we have snacks...?"

"Of course, we have snacks, Feyre!" Evelyn gasped, playfully enraged they wouldn't be. "A sleepover is nothing without snacks that people can't finish and they have to be packed away."

Feyre looked over her shoulder to Tamlin and Lucien, "Well I could do without those two for a while." Making them send a wave of talking over each other, pissed at the two females making a joke on their behalf.

"You can paint me," Evelyn wiggled her eyebrows, ignoring her brother and their friend.

Feyre and Evelyn were soon alone in the mansion, Evelyn sprawled over a couch with Feyre standing on the opposite ends, with her canvas and paint. Feyre's brows were furrowed in concentration as she moved the brush flawlessly across the canvas.

"So...?" Evelyn had a teasing tone, "How is being a High Fae?"

Feyre smiled, looking up from her work, "I... I can see colours so much clearer, it's amazing."

"We're just better." Evelyn gave a cocky grin, the grin that matched Tamlin's almost identically.

"You are gorgeous," Feyre breathed with a soft blush, if Feyre had thought the Spring Court Fae were pretty before with their masks, Evelyn was painfully gorgeous, especially by human standards. Evelyn was a mix of soft and sharp features, something Feyre felt she could not put on paper. There was something in her emerald eyes that swirled differently than some other Fae she had seen, well, she had also seen only a handful of Fae as close as she had seen her.

"Should've chosen me over Tam, Feyre." Evelyn gave a wink, chuckling slightly. "You're gorgeous too."

Feyre was a lot fuller now, especially after Under the Mountain, she and Tamlin had managed to figure out how to make her feel better and manage being High Fae, she was a lot more powerful, just as much powerful as the heir of High Lords.

It was quite after that, Evelyn posing for Feyre as she painted, a little pain splattering on her hands. Alis had come in, setting their finger foods down on the small dining table in the room, Evelyn had asked Alis to stay with them but she had smiled and said he would be with her nephews, taking them out for dinner in a new place that had been fixed up.

"Could... Could you not include this?" Evelyn whispered, motioning to the black ink band around her ring finger on her left hand, and a tattoo of stars and swirls flowing up.

Feyre smiled a little sadly, looking at the tattoos "What does it signify?" She had never asked, seeing how Evelyn was uncomfortable with it, as Tamlin had told her, telling her it was Evelyn's story to tell. "If you are feeling up to telling me."

"Well, we do have deep conversations during sleepovers," Evelyn smiled softly, "It's a bargain I made with Rhysand." She didn't talk of the band but the rest of the ink. "I... I made it so that Rhysand would look after you... Keep you... Alive."

"What...?" Feyre set down her brush at that, walking to sit next to her, "That's why he was... Did he ever...?"

"No." Evelyn cut in, "No he never actually hurt me, even if we did piss each other off a lot."

"What did you give away?" Feyre asked, her hand holding Evelyn's tattooed one, stroking the swirls.

Evelyn smiled slightly, letting Feyre feel the magic of the bargain, "A week every month, for my entire life. I have to stay with him."

"But it's been months since then." Feyre looked slightly hopeful, "Maybe he forgot."

Evelyn smiled, moving to sit closer to Feyre, "That's just wishful thinking, the Night Court is rather... Firm... about their bargains."

Feyre looked melancholy, "Well, this got upsetting quickly."

"Ok." Evelyn shrugged, a smile forming on her face again, she picked up the pillow she was leaning against and smacked Feyre in the head with it.

Feyre's eyes widened, "Oh no you didn't!" She picked up her own pillow before swinging at her.

"Oh yes I did!" Evelyn dodged her hit. Swinging again as she got up, Feyre followed her, trying to get a hit on each other.

Feyre landed a hit, making Evelyn stumble slightly against the wall, "How could you give yourself up for me!" Feyre held the pillow against Evelyn's neck as if it were a weapon.

"Because it's you!" Evelyn yelled before hitting Feyre across the face with her pillow, "Because you gave yourself up for my brother! For me! For Lucien! For all of my people!"

"Stop yelling!" Feyre yelled back, glaring, holding her pillow like a sword.

"No!" Evelyn glared back but didn't yell anymore. "You were willing to die for my brother, and you did die. Of course I would do anything to protect you. Even if it is making a deal with Death itself."

Feyre paused, "You did it all for me?"

"Of course I did." Evelyn set down the pillow in her hands, "And I would do it again."

Feyre smirked when she put her pillow away, choosing to strike her again hard enough to make feathers fly out of it, "And I would always help our people!"

"Oh, are we screaming again!?" Evelyn glared, throwing the pillows on the couch at her. "You don't get to be the only person who scrifies something for people."

"Well, you're too gorgeous to end up dead over me!" Feyre yelled and Evelyn was surprised at the splash of dark green paint that now covered her face.

"There!" Feyre smiled, rubbing the paint in Evelyn's hair, "Now I can capture you in paint!"

Evelyn squealed as she heard Feyre mumble "Stupid gorgeous Fae" running to the paint table and throwing the bowl of pink paint.

"Shut the fuck up Feyre." Evelyn watched the pink paint run down Feyre's face, "You're gorgeous too!"

The two run in circles, hitting each other with pillows and paints, yelling aggressive compliments at each other. They end up falling on the floor of paint and feathers, giggling. Evelyn uses her magic to clean both of them.

"Is this what a sleepover is like?" Feyre asked, breathless.

Evelyn shook her head, "I don't know, It's my first too. But I liked it."

The two smile, looking at each other and the mess they had made.

"We left you guys alone for 4 hours!"

"GET LOST!"

{General taglist: @nox-ceur @lilah-asteria}

#feyreweek2024 #acotar #acotar series #acowar #acosf #acomaf #feyre cursebreaker #feyre acotar #feyre archeron #pro feyre #high lady feyre #feyre fluff

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disengagedspirit · 9 months ago

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PARTIES: @dirtwatchman, @disengagedspirit TIMING: Later the same day after this solo. SUMMARY: Mercy finds her way into a nearby cemetery, Caleb's cemetery, where he finds her lost and confused after waking from a nearly 400 year slumber. CONTENT WARNINGS: unsanitary tw (brief mentions in regards to her clothing)

Though it had been morning, when Mercy had been revived from her slumber of almost 400 years, the man she had fed from had given her enough strength to find shelter in a nearby tomb located in the cemetery she had found herself wandering into out of desperation earlier in the day. But now, with the night sky hanging overhead, the woman who only appeared to be 33 had found herself conversing with a spirit who donned clothing similar to her own, “Pray tell kind sir, what day is it?”

“Tis’ Wednesday, Madam.” He was an older gentleman who had reminded her of the man who had raised her. At least what glimpses of him she could recall. After spending century after century in the dirt everything she had tried to hang onto had slowly faded, except now, there had been gentle reminders with the fog lifted from the meal she had consumed that morning.

“And the year of our…” Mercy paused, nearly choking on the word Lord. “What year might it be?” It hurt not being able to speak of such things that she was once so passionate about and had been raised on, but to force it out would have meant an agony she couldn’t quite handle at the moment.

“Tis’ 1724.” Though he was kind, his answer didn't sit well with her. There had been so much progress with the sun captured in tiny glass containers. Melodic songs that rang out from small bright objects that shook. And numerous other things. If witchcraft hadn’t existed while she was still around previously, it certainly did now.

—

There’d been an influx of strange happenings going on around town lately which wasn’t all that alarming to Caleb. This had been happening ever since he was a kid. One thing would die down only for another crazy circumstance to take over. It was life in this beautifully weird town. But this circumstance was a little different and even he was being overwhelmed by the noises and the ghosts taking over the place. So many were in the cemetery alone. Where he used to only see a few here and there it seemed like they were multiplying each day.

As he made his way towards a gravestone that he’d noticed graffiti on earlier he noticed a woman who was talking to one of them. She wasn’t a ghost but she was almost dressed exactly like them save for the larger blood stains covering her clothes. Well…that wasn’t good.

Cautiously making his way over to the pair, he caught the tail end of their conversation. The ghost didn’t know what year it was? Hadn’t somebody told him yet? “Excuse me, miss? Are you okay?” Caleb’s eyes trailed over the fresh blood, noticing that it wasn’t limited to her clothes. It was splattered over her face as well. His caution grew but he also had ended up in situations like this so he couldn’t really judge her harshly. “It’s 2024, ma’am. He’s a little off on that. But it also looks like he’s been dead since 1724 too….what year did you think it was?”

—

Mercy let out a soft sigh. If his answer was accurate, she had only been in the ground less than a century, but that realization was soon shattered by the presence of a man approaching her. Pulling her away from the ghost’s attention, Mercy set her sights on someone who appeared to be solid and dressed much differently than she had ever seen, except on one other person who was now laying dead miles away from where she was currently standing. He was rather tall and reminded her of Thomas; at least what little she could remember of her husband. But his vernacular was all wrong, and when she turned back to speak to the ghost, he was gone.

With no other choice, Mercy turned back around to face the man again, “Forgive me, but hast thou proclaimed it to be 2024?” If her heart could beat, it would stop. With her sharp blue eyes widening, it meant that if the math in her head was correct – Thomas had taught her much about the art of mathematics – that she was underground for nearly 400 years.

Stepping backwards somewhat, Mercy reached out for a nearby stone bench and sat down. It had taken her a moment to regain herself and to be able to talk to the man. Though she didn’t want to believe it, it had made a lot more sense, with all of the new discoveries, than what the gentleman earlier had said. And with sad eyes, she looked back upon him, “1694. When thy accusers placed thee underground…”

—

As soon as she started to speak Caleb knew he was in for a wild ride with this one. This woman had definitely missed out on some time but how in the world had this happened? “Um…yea, thou is 2024…okay, yea, I don’t know how to speak old English properly so I’m not even going to try. I’m sorry.” He watched her take a seat on the memorial bench, trying not to spook her too much. Of course it was a shock, he was shocked just hearing her so he couldn’t imagine what was going on in her mind.

Did she say 1694? Accusers? The paranoia started to grow stronger as Caleb kept his distance from her even if he knew he most likely wasn’t in danger. The woman had to be dead so whatever she ate it wasn’t rotting flesh like him. But what had she done to be placed underground? And who had just become her latest meal? Were they still in the graveyard? “I think I’m going to need a little more context here so that I can try to help you. Could you explain…why you were underground and why you’re here now? Did you wake up here?”

The questions were fair. He was understandably curious but he also needed to know if there was a body that needed to be taken care of before more police started to crawl around the place. Caleb already had enough of those looking his way.

—

Mercy couldn’t help, but gaze up at him with furrowed brows at his attempt. The language spoken now was so different, but yet, still very similar. Thankfully, she had been able to make out what he was saying, and what he was asking wasn’t unfair. Though she was weary in replying. Mercy did not know his motives. Would he try to drag her back to a premature grave or hang her for her crimes? She had seen this happen far too many times, and while she wouldn’t deny being at fault for what she had done, death by the gallows was something that scared her greatly.

“Might I trust thee?” Mercy needed to know, before confessing why she had ended up buried so deeply in the ground. Humans could change and evolve, she had seen that in the short amount of time she had been roaming the Earth. She had witnessed it with Abigail in her jealousy and accusations, and unfortunately, she had only just met this man, “Many a year ago, I was betrayed and don’t trust as I once did.” Mercy looked at the man with sad eyes.

—

Her question threw him for a loop, Caleb not really sure how to answer that. Really, he couldn’t could he? Trusting him was all on her. He could tell this woman all night that he wasn’t going to do anything to hurt her but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t in her mind, especially after what she’d been through and he didn’t even know the extent of it all. “I…I mean, I guess that’s up to you. But I will point out that you’re covered in blood talking to a ghost and I haven’t thrown you in the ground yet.” He gave her a sincere look, not sure if that was the right thing to say or not.

Especially since she’d experienced betrayal before. Anyone who had been through something like that would have a hard time trusting others again but where Caleb stood, she didn’t really have much of a choice, did she? “Tell you what, I’ll introduce myself. Let you know why I’m here and then you can decide whether you want to tell me or not.” The zombie gave her a moment to contemplate that, make any objections if she wanted, before continuing. “My name is Caleb. I work in this cemetery, take care of it, and I see things like this pretty often. Though, I think you’re the first one who’s been buried for…so long.”

—

Mercy listened intently as Caleb spoke. He had made a fair point. As she glanced down to look at herself, she noticed the blood and dirt soaking her dress. A dress that she could vaguely remember being a different color when she first wore it so many years ago. Not dingy and aged and eaten by the worms and beetles that had slipped into the cracks in the coffin over the years. In fact, it had been the first time that Mercy had seen any part of herself – her eyes only having been focused on the vast changes in the world around her, “You are fair in your observations.”

As he continued, she nodded gently, her bright blue eyes remaining trained on him the entire time. When he finished, she paused thinking if it were safe enough to trust him, and when she realized he was her only option of assistance in such a dire matter, she spoke, “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Caleb.” She wanted to quickly return her name, but as the moment came up, Mercy paused. She had been buried for so long and in the dark for quite some time that she couldn't quite recall her name, at least not immediately. And when she finally did, she returned an answer, “My sincerest apologies. You may call me Mercy. Laying in darkness and rot for many a year has taken its toll on my memories.” It was strange being upright. Strange being out of her dark and dirt ridden prison and back in the land of the living. “I suppose it is only fair for me to explain myself. I have repeated my life’s story over and over again, perchance I was to be freed from my eternal prison in the ground. However, I fear I am unable to remember everything, so please forgive me, if I cannot recall every detail as it was.”

“I was born in the year 1656. I was married and gave birth to a beautiful, little girl – my sweet Sarah.” Mercy felt the girl’s name catch in her throat as she thought of her daughter and husband. “We lived in Salem town. But when the war broke out, people started to flock to Salem for refuge; our town twas no longer peaceful. I was later attacked and left for dead, but when I awoke, I had a very unusual craving for blood. In fear of harming my sweet Thomas and Sarah, I fled; hid in the shadows for as long as I could and consumed that which was offered by poor, innocent animals, until I was caught by a former friend who betrayed me. In desperation, I fled from my home and everything I knew to a town known as Wicked’s Rest. Here I was caught and forced to an eternity of rotting in the ground.”

—

“You don’t have to tell me everything...” She just kept talking, Caleb, surprised that when she finally decided to trust him the woman decided to tell her whole life story. And what a sad story it was. He could feel his heart going out to her more and more, especially after hearing her throat catch while talking about her daughter. Being turned into a vampire, losing her family, a friend betraying her and her ending up in the ground buried alive because of it…it was heavy. Something occurred to him though. The whole time she was talking, she never once mentioned the word ‘vampire.’

Did she even know what she was?

“And then you woke up in 2024…you’ve missed a lot.” He let out a deep breath that he’d been holding in, probably for longer than he should have. “I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. Do you…know why all of that happened to you? I mean, the reason you woke up craving blood, do you know why that is?” He didn’t want to mansplain vampires to a vampire but Caleb couldn’t get over the fact that she’d avoided the word. “Did you crave it when you woke?”

He knew she did. The blood on her dress was enough to tell him that but he also knew that not eating for so long was enough to throw them into a frenzy. Now he was wondering if there was a trail of bodies he needed to help clean up and maybe some he could harvest for his own needs. Caleb ran a hand over the nape of his neck and looked around them, seeing only the old fashioned ghosts that had taken to walking around the town. At least there was no one alive around to witness this.

—

“Sorry. I needed to speak it. To allow it out so that my life and the life of my Thomas and Sarah were still relevant even in…” Mercy still couldn’t process the year, “Two-thousand and twenty-four.” She looked away from him, still trying to understand how she could even still be here. But his questions caught her attention, “Excuse me?”

Mercy still didn’t understand that part of her life. She knew that whatever it was had made her an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. Any holy words spoken had burned her tongue and any time she had tried to lay her hand on a Bible, it sent a searing pain through her body. If any memory from her time previously walking the Earth that she had held onto, that was it. And it had made laying in a wooden box for centuries so much harder. Her faith not being an option to get her through the longest days of her undead life. So she made her husband and her child her faith with the hopes that she would one day see them again, but now that she was once more free and living in a completely different era in the history of the world, even she knew it was impossible.

“All I know is that I am an abomination.” She tugged at her bloodied dress in frustration. “A parasite that can still roam freely needing to take the lives of innocents to survive. Even…God’s…” She paused as pain coursed through her small figure leaving her to ball her fists, “green pastures and warm sunshine burn my skin if I am in them for too long. I assumed it must be some illness of my time, but I never recalled a name given to its description.” Mercy’s chest heaved up and down as the pain from speaking the Lord’s name slowly dissipated. “So no, I do not know the true reason why I crave the blood of a man or animal, but merely for the reason of my survival.”

—

Everything she was saying only confirmed what she was. If drinking blood to survive after being attacked wasn’t enough to clue him in, not being able to walk in daylight was the seal on what species she was. Watching choke the word ‘God’ out, seeing the pain it caused her, was only the bow on top of the neatly packaged picture she had given him. “Abomination is harsh.” But was it true? It’s what Caleb felt like most days and it’s what a lot of the undead he had met over the years felt like as well. Maybe they were all abominations. It wasn’t like they were meant to walk around this earth after experiencing a death.

“Mercy…I’m certain that I know what you are. I’ve seen quite a few of them over the years. I don’t know if the name was a common thing during the time you lived but they have one for it.” The zombie paused, hands going to his pockets as he tried to let that sink in a little. He was trying his best to be gentle. “You’re a vampire. The person who attacked you before you woke up and craved blood, they must have been one and they turned you.”

Caleb didn’t pretend to be an expert on the subject. He’d run into many while working in the cemetery but he’d never really known one personally so he was sure he didn’t know about everything that came with that life. But what he did know, he could try to help her with. “Unfortunately, blood is not an option. You’ll have to keep drinking it to survive. I don’t know if there’s any way around the sunlight thing either. I’m not an expert on vampirism but I can see what I can do to help you through this. The good thing? It’s easier to go undetected in this town. Plenty of them live around here.”

—

Mercy didn’t know any other way to describe herself. She could no longer be around people without the lingering threat of killing them. She couldn’t walk in the daylight. And worse of all God had shunned her from speaking his name, singing hymns, or saying her prayers. It was an impossible life to live, and the only reason she had been hanging onto it all before had been the existence of her family. Now, she was in a completely different time in the history of the Earth, and they had long been in the grave as she had once been, “Tis my judgment upon thine ownself.”

The small brunette held her head in shame, until Caleb had confessed to knowing what she was. And immediately, though with sorrow in her eyes, raised her head, “Pray tell, Caleb. What have I become?”

As she listened to him explain and finally put a name to what her illness was, Mercy couldn’t help but repeat the word over and over again in her mind, before saying it outloud, “Vampire…I know not of this word, but your description is accurate. I suffer from all of those afflictions; the hunger for blood being the worst of them.” If there had been more of these creatures during her time of living had it meant that the Salem Witch Trials were based on accuracy instead of accusations? It was a question she would ponder for another time. Instead, the realization that she wasn’t alone was more important, as was his offer to help her, “I am indebted to you, sir. Tis your kindness in this moment that means a great deal. The revelation of more…vampires…however, is quite the shock.”

Mercy paused for a moment, “Seeing as though you are willing to help me, how shalt we proceed?”

—

“I get that. The hunger isn’t easy. Mine’s not exactly the same but I experience it in a different way than you would…different than humans too.” Caleb didn’t exactly know if it was wise to bring up what he was to her but he also wanted her to know that he could understand in a way. He wasn’t just some random guy who didn’t know how to relate to her. Still, telling her that he was a zombie would come at another time as she was still processing what she was.

“Oh, no, you’re not…indebted to me. I just want to help. You looked very lost and…” He paused, not sure how to explain why he wanted to help her. It was something he did quite often for many different people but there was a pull with Mercy. It might have been because Caleb was also lost when he was turned. It took a long time to realize what he’d become and how to properly live as it so maybe there was a sort of kinship there. “Your story seems familiar, is all. Besides, the town doesn’t need a confused vampire on its hands. We’ll all suffer for it, not just you.” That might have been a little harsh but it was the truth. If she didn’t know how to control herself things could turn messy.

The zombie was still focused on the messy part, actually. “I think we should start with whatever body you left behind. We can’t leave it.” Especially if it was in his cemetery. Besides, he could harvest from them if they hadn’t started to decompose yet. “And then, I guess you’ll need somewhere to stay. I have extra room but I need you to promise that you won’t go into the basement of my house. It’s kind of off limits.” More than a little off limits. His stash of brains was littered across that entire basement, the supply for most of the zombies in Wicked’s Rest. It would most likely scare the hell out of her.

—

Mercy was curious, but she dared not question him. Not when he was offering a helping hand despite knowing what she was. There would be time for that, because, apparently, at this rate, she had all the time in the world, “I trust thee, Caleb. No need to explain thyself.” He was right in his assumption though, she was definitely lost. This world and all its changes had been nearly impossible to understand. And though she hadn’t encountered many people yet, she knew things were going to get a lot harder, especially in the upcoming days, until she could actually adjust and blend in more, “I fear you are correct. I don’t want to take the life of another innocent. Tis not fair nor right.”

Mercy knew that consuming the blood of the man who had freed her had been a sin. She had taken him away from his family, much like she had taken the woman who had been caring for her after being attacked, away from her family. The only right thing to do was to give him a proper burial, and it seemed that Caleb would be the one to help her, “I shall take you there. He deserves peace - the peace in which his family will never have. She hung her head in shame as she slowly climbed back up to her feet.

All the vampire had wanted to do was to pray for forgiveness and to ask for guidance, but in some ways she was at least getting the latter, especially when this man, who could have easily gone about his ways, had offered to help her. What she didn’t expect was for him to allow her a place to stay. Normally, she would have hesitated – what would it have said of her reputation, boarding with a man, whom she barely knew? But Mercy was in no position, and looking up to him with a true innocence, she spoke up, “I promise. It is your home, and I am merely a guest. It may have been many years since I have resided above ground, but I know my place, sir. And I will cause no problems.”

With that, Mercy turned away from him and began to walk in the direction from once she came. She wasn’t entirely sure how Caleb had planned to handle the body of the man she had feasted on, but just like everything else currently happening in her long and barely lived life, she would soon find out. She was just grateful to have someone on her side who, rather than shun her and point fingers, gave her the opportunity to explain herself, and if this was commonplace in the world now, then maybe life in this new time wouldn’t be so horrible after all.

#para: thou is 2024 #para: caleb #dirtwatchman #wickedswriting #unsanitary tw

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zmzebra-writes · 4 months ago

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ES Rare Pair Week 2024 Day 3: Wedding

Title: Marriage Fever Relationships: Mayoi Ayase/Tatsumi Kazehaya/Kaname Tojou Additional Tags: Future Fic, Post-Idol Career Summary: Three impulsive and impatient idiots go from dating to engaged to married all in one evening. Click here to see how!

Tatsumi always knew in his heart when he agreed to this that he would need to make compromises. His partners certainly were not short of compromises when it came to him. To this day, he was still surprised they agreed to this arrangement. He felt selfish being allowed to date his two favorite people, much less people he had already hurt so badly. Perhaps they would be better off if he left…

“Hah?!?? No way, Tatsumi!” Kaname had very loud thoughts regarding Tatsumi’s late night musings. He must have been talking out loud when preparing the tea in the kitchen. “We all agreed that all of us are important to each other and that we won’t leave because we think the other two will be better off without us!”

Tatsumi smiled at Kaname. His boyfriend was so sweet. “Yes, yes, I remember. I won’t leave you two. You and Mayoi don’t have to worry.”

Mayoi let out an “eep!” from behind the door frame, but still slinked into sight and into the kitchen next to Kaname’s side. Kaname didn’t look convinced. “You shouldn’t lie, Tatsumi. We promised to be honest about our feelings.”

Tatsumi’s smile became a bit more strained. “Ah… You know I don’t mean to lie to either of you, it’s just…”

“It’s just…?” Mayoi followed up.

Tatsumi’s smile finally fell into something more quiet. “... I visited my parents' church a few days ago. It had been years since we’ve talked, but they had taken an unusual interest in my life. Asking questions about if I had found a girlfriend and the like.”

“I remember that…” said Kaname.

“Did they say something about us?” asked Mayoi.

“Not in so many words,” answered Tatsumi, “I didn’t see much point in confirming what I already know. To them, I am still their strange son who has yet to properly follow the flock.”

“Then…?”

“... I got to see many of my old peers during my stay back home.” Tatsumi turned his eyes to the brewing teapot. “Everyone I met had already gotten married and many of them had started their own families.”

Tatsumi went quiet. Kaname pushed. “... And?”

“And I worry that I am the one holding us all back,” Tatsumi settled on saying, “I am the one who is so caught up in rules that I worry I am hurting you both with my choices. If it wasn’t for me, you two could face the world without a deadweight holding you down and keeping you from living as you like.”

Mayoi moved forward to comfort Tatsumi. “That could never be the case, Tatsumi. We are able to live happily because of your presence in our lives.”

Tatsumi smiled at Mayoi’s touch. Kaname wasn’t satisfied though. “Well what kind of rules? We’ve already gotten over the ‘being gay’ thing so is there another rule I’m missing or…? Your parents didn’t convince you that you’re actually straight, right?”

Tatsumi laughed. “No, I think I’ve reached the point that I don’t think even the Lord above could convince me to stop loving you two.”

Kaname felt more confident now knowing that this wasn’t going to end how his brother used to warn him. “Then what is it?”

Tatsumi glanced away as a blush dusted his face. “... It’s silly to admit.”

Mayoi grasped Tatsumi’s hand tightly to reassure him. “If it matters to Tatsumi, then we care as well.”

“Right!” Kaname agreed as he came over to grab Tatsumi’s other hand.

“Ah… Well if you are both going to insist…” Tatsumi felt warm as he shuffled between his two partners. “... I want us to get married.”

Mayoi and Kaname both turned red. “Married?!”

Tatsumi tried his best to hide his face in his shoulder. “It’s selfish, but while I was back home, I got to help officiate a wedding. The couple was so happy and the moment was so beautiful, but all I could think about was how much I wanted to stand there myself with you both at my sides. I just love you two so much, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you both, no matter what anyone else thinks.”

Tatsumi took a chance to look at his partners. “I’ve overstepped my bounds, haven’t I?”

Mayoi blinked to shake away his shock. “No not at all, Tatsumi! I am so honored that you would want to spend your life with someone like me.”

Tatsumi focused on Mayoi. “You think too lowly of yourself, Mayoi. I don’t want to marry someone like you, I want to marry you.”

Smoke spewed out of Mayoi’s ears as he combusted. Used to this and knowing it was usually a sign Tatsumi needed to step back and let Mayoi calm down, Tatsumi turned to Kaname who had yet to say a word. “What do you think, Kaname? I wouldn’t want to force you to do something you don’t want to.”

Kaname’s grip on Tatsumi’s hand tightened as his eyes began to water.

“Kaname?!”

Kaname brought their entwined hands up to his eyes as he choked back his tears.

Mayoi snapped back to awareness as both he and Tatsumi began fussing over Kaname, asking him what was wrong and how they could help.

“It’s just…” started Kaname as he tried to speak through his tears, “A part of me never thought I would be able to get married. I’m just… so happy.”

All three of them smiled as they embraced each other.

~~~

“So when should we get married?” asked Mayoi after they had spent a good portion of the evening being sweet to each other. “Do we need to get rings? I think we may have accidentally missed some steps. Will they still let us get married if we don’t have engagement rings?!”

As Mayoi began doom-spiraling, Tatsumi began thinking more seriously about their plan to wed. Things couldn’t be this simple, could it? There were still the laws and the more important in-laws. Would they even be able to get married at all?

“Why not right now?” asked Kaname, cutting through the worries of both his fiances. “You’re a priest, aren’t you, Tatsumi? I really don’t want to wait to get married.”

Tatsumi smiled and kissed Kaname on the cheek. “You are so smart, my darling.”

Kaname blushed as he instinctively puffed up. “Of course I am! I am the brilliant Kaname Tojou after all.”

“Are you alright with doing this now, Mayoi?” Tatsumi lifted Mayoi’s hand as he looked at him. “We can wait if you want. Despite Kaname’s words, there is no rush.”

Kaname pouted. “Don’t act like you don’t want to get married right now too, Tatsumi.”

Tatsumi continued to look at Mayoi. “Regardless of my own feelings on the subject, you also get a say in what we do together. Neither of us would want to get married if you did not feel ready.”

Mayoi fidgeted under the attention. His emotions were in a twist, anxiety soaring through the roof, but Tatsumi’s grip kept him grounded. His old self never would have made it this far without his two partners helping him. He looked at Tatsumi and Kaname and knew that this was one thing he didn’t have to overthink.

If they were together, they would make it through somehow.

“I do.” Mayoi said with a smile.

Tatsumi’s grin grew.

“Don’t go skipping to the end, Mayoi!” said Kaname.

Tatsumi laughed and beckoned Kaname over. “I’ll get right to the good part for us.”

“Kaname Tojou and Mayoi Ayase, have you come here to enter marriage without coercion, freely, and wholeheartedly?”

They nodded. “I have.”

“As have I,” responded Tatsumi, “Are you prepared, as you follow the path of marriage, to love and honor each other for as long as you both shall live?”

“I am.”

“I am prepared as well. Since it is our intention to enter the covenant of Holy Matrimony, we shall join our hands to declare our consent to one another and God.” Tatsumi grabbed Mayoi and Kaname’s hands as they grabbed each other’s to complete the circle.

“I, Tatsumi, take you two, Mayoi and Kaname, to be my spouses. I pledge to honor, cherish, and love you as my partners today and forever. You two were the first people who saw me as the person I am and met me on equal footing. For that I will be eternally grateful.”

Kaname spoke next. “I, Kaname, take you two, Tatsumi and Mayoi, to be my spouses. I promise to love and defend you both through whatever life throws at us. I’ve spent most of my life working to prove myself to be seen, but I don’t have to worry about that with you guys. I love you two and I know you love me back unconditionally.”

Mayoi sensed it was his turn and spoke up. “I, Mayoi, take you two, Kaname and Tatsumi, to be my spouses. I am yours forever and always, as I swear to love you both until the end of time. I’ve spent the majority of childhood alone and afraid, but since meeting Tatsumi and getting to know Kaname and everyone else I am no longer lonely. You both help me come out of my shell and be a better person.”

With wet eyes and a smile, Tatsumi continued the blessings. “May the Lord in his kindness strengthen our vows we have declared to each other and graciously bring his blessings within us. What God has joined, let no one pull asunder.

“Now we may have no rings, but—”

“Wait!” interrupted Kaname, “Let me just…”

Kaname let go of his partners to remove three rings from his hands. “Rings!”

“Are you sure you are alright giving these to us, Kaname?” asked Mayoi, “Your rings are important to you.”

“It’s fine, I have like ten more in my jewelry box,” waved off Kaname, “This is more important.”

Kaname handed the rings to Tatsumi. “Will these work?”

“They are perfect, Kaname.” Tatsumi took the rings in his hands and began to pray. “Bless, O Lord, these rings, so that those who wear them with deep faith and love for one another.”

Tatsumi lifted and tilted Mayoi’s hand. “Mayoi Ayase, I give you this ring as a symbol of our never ending love and our vow to you.”

Mayoi blushed and blinked back tears as Tatsumi slid the ring onto his finger. He took the remaining two rings and turned to Kaname.

He lifted Kaname’s hand. “Kaname Tojou, I give you this ring as a symbol of our never ending love and our vow to you.”

Mayoi slid Kaname’s ring back onto his finger. Kaname didn’t bother blinking back tears as he’d already lost that battle. He took the final ring and turned to Tatsumi.

“Tatsumi Kazehaya… Tatsumi Kazehaya,” Kaname mumbled to himself as he lifted up Tatsumi’s hand, “Tatsumi Kazehaya, I give you this ring as a symbol of our never ending love and our vow to you.”

Kaname slid the ring onto Tatsumi’s finger as they both teared up. Mayoi grabbed their joined hands to share in the crying fest.

Tatsumi tried his best to shakily get back on track. “Now, with God as our witness, I pronounce all of us spouses. You may now kiss!”

It was as if all of them had not seen the other in decades as they rushed to kiss and banged their heads together in the process. Tatsumi laughed as Kaname and Mayoi rubbed their heads before using the opportunity to kiss each of them on the cheek.

“Unfair! Sneaking in like that while we were recovering,” protested Kaname, “Mayoi, let’s show him what we think about that…”

Mayoi gave a slender smile and a nod before both of them attacked Tatsumi from either side with a kiss. “Don’t think we’ll let you get away that easily, Tatsumi,” he said.

“Oh, I think I can handle this punishment,” said Tatsumi with a grin, “Don’t feel any need to show mercy on my account.”

“Oh, you can bet there won’t be any mercy here,” said Kaname with the face of a cat who caught the canary, “Now that we’re married, you are never getting rid of us.”

Kaname shuffled up to Tatsumi, Mayoi following suit. “Never~!” he sang.

Tatsumi simply hugged his newly-dubbed spouses and laughed. “I wouldn’t change a thing.”

#mayoi ayase #tatsumi kazehaya #kaname tojou #mayoi ayase/tatsumi kazehaya/kaname tojou #tatsumayokana #i hope that's their ship name since i can't find a single tag to reference #enstars #ensemble stars #fanfic #my writing #es rarepair week 2024

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queenoftsage · 5 months ago

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youtube

THIS TOO!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Script:

"LISTEN, I have said before, and I will say it again.

I think a lot of discourse about media that features black female protagonists, has been ruined because of the initial vitriol of just the thought of having us at the forefront of anything from the jump.

The way ya'll treat black femme leads when a project is just announced!

I'm not even talking rolled out .I'm not even talking streamed, yet.

Ya'll haven't seen a single episode. You have not watched the movie.

I'm talking the cast list comes out, and immediately it's misogynoir. IMMEDIATELY, it's racial slurs. Immediately it's woke.

Which is just a dog whistle for 'oh my god, I'm gonna be forced to see black people, even worse black women as the center of attention.

Honestly, this goes for centering almost any marginalized identity on screen. But, I'm gonna talk about black women, because we are the ones that ya'll care about the least.

And just the announcement of a character or a cast list starts out like that and then the project is rolled out. Then some of ya'll wanna conveniently list other things about the show, other things about the movie, that makes it subpar. Supposedly.

I'm sorry but a lot of us are not convinced that that is made in good faith.

Some of ya'll, might be genuine, but a lot of ya'll just want a way to drag the project! Without being called out on your bigotry!

Sometimes, it's conveniently nitpicked to a degree that other projects featuring other different looking kinds of people aren't nitpicked to that level.

We don't fucking believe you, cause we know that some of ya'll conveniently picking other parts of the project apart were also in the comment section calling so and so a monkey.

We can't have a good faith discussion about these projects, because some of ya'll or your compatriots allegedly not you, have made the environment disproportionately hostile since before the project was even rolled out.

NO, please don't deflect, because we are not even yet talking about the quality of the writing of the project, the quality of the writing of the character.

We're talking about the black femme actors and characters, not even being welcome to exist.

So, if you're upset that 'oH wE cAn'T eVeN dIsLiKe a PiEcE oF mEDiA aNyMorE bEcAuSe oF dIvErsItY.'

BLAME THOSE LOWLIVES!!! [I agree!!!]

Blame them that are supposedly not you.

And somewhere down the road, when ya'll are not triggered just by the concept of black women existing, then maybe we can chat!

But until then... WE DON'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU. [Nicque, has said it for me! I never believe them EVER. lol]

Cause we are tired of being treated as subhuman and then being gaslit about it by some of you further down the road.

FOOD FOR FUCKING THOUGHT.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S. I love Nicque Marina!!!

P.P.S. if you're one of those people that cried about the Little Mermaid being black and hate when anything features a black person, even deep down. Like, you'll use the whole 'I cAn'T rELaTe tO tHe NaRRatIvE tHaT FeATuReS A bLaCk PeRSoN' as an excuse. I suggest you DO NOT, and I REPEAT, DO NOT follow this account.

I absolutely am fucking annoyed with those people. I'm even more annoyed that they still exist in this year of our DRAGON LORD 2024!

So... if you are bothered by this. Please, get out of here already. Leave. Use your freedom of choice. If you are ok with it, and understand the conversation being had. Then awesome. I do talk about this a lot.

Not only here, but on my channel as well, but in a very 'ME' type of way, and how I see it.

#Movies #A Discourse about Black Women as main characters #ITWR #Nicque Marina #I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING SHE SAYS in this video #She makes all the points !!!#TV Shows #Black Women #Black People #Black Men #Misogynoir #Antliblackness #About Me #B.Rivera #I speak out a lot about this in this account #if you don't like it #please... feel free to get outta of here #Youtube

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itsyourchoicedevotionals · 8 months ago

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When We Truly Love

“No one who abides in Him [who lives and remains in communion with and in obedience to Him—deliberately, knowingly, and habitually] commits (practices) sin. No one who [habitually] sins has either seen or known Him [recognized, perceived, or understood Him, or has had an experiential acquaintance with Him].” 1John 3:6AMPC

This scripture rankles denominations claiming ‘go ahead and sin, grace covers all sin.’ I will take it a step further.

When Lou and I married 54 years ago, if I displeased him, ‘he’ll get over it’ was my mentality. Marriage was about me. Over those first years, I learned to try and be pleasing— to keep peace within the confines of our home. Along the way, I fell totally head-over-heels in love with Lou. It became my desire to be part of him, an extension of his ideals, hopes and dreams. Today I have no desire to hurt or displease him in anyway.

Lou currently has bronchitis along with his other issues. I was trying to help him stand up and walk. He looked at me totally lucid saying, ‘I don’t want to hurt you. Please don’t, lifting will hurt your back. Get help.’ Then he slipped back into the fog of fever and illness. Those years of becoming a part of him reaped a harvest of his continued protection and concern for me, no matter how he feels.

My point: When we truly love— truly love God— we won’t want to sin—hurt Him. Those pet sins aren’t worth keeping around to stimulate us in the wrong manner. That addiction, desire, whatever isn’t as important as intimacy and fellowship with Yahweh Adonai. He becomes our consuming passion.

1John 1:8-9NIV “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” This appears to be the total opposite of our text. It isn’t.

In the text it’s talking about pet sins— refusing to let go of things which God has been dealing with us about. This covers sins against your own body, etc.— “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” Example——: “…For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.” Romas 1:26-27ESV. ——: “…nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,…nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers…” 1Corinthians 6:9-10ESV. ——: “…impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry…” Colossians 3:5ESV. ——: “liars, perjurers” 1Timothy 1:10ESV ——: “A woman shall not wear a man's garment, nor shall a man put on a woman's cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.” Deuteronomy 22:5ESV Cross-dressing, or transgenderism?

Sin are listed also throughout the first five books of the Bible. They cover everything besides praising God and breathing. God is HOLY. He can’t tolerate sin close to HIm. His glory burns sins up. To daily not sin— breaking God’s Laws — is impossible. Jesus died for the payment of ALL THOSE SINS to bring us close to God. Still, we can choose our pet sins above our Savior by constantly claiming ‘grace covers.’ I remember the night Yahweh said to me— ‘Let go of that sin. I won’t tolerate it in you any longer. I can’t live with your sin.’ Not once have I regretted letting go of what was wrong for relationship with God.

Are you hanging onto something which is holding you back from God’s best? Sins are forgiven. Relationships are chosen and built. Which do you want? It’s your choice. You choose.

LET’S PRAY: LORD God forgive us for choosing sin over You. Cleanse our desires, in the name of Jesus Christ.

#Jesus Christ #word of god #god #holy spirit #lord of lords #it's your choice #devotional #truly love #sin #hurt one you love #truth #forgive #grace #love #hope #faith

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zero-ek · 6 months ago

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GUYS GUYS GUYS AZKI SOLOLIVE AZKI SOLOLIVE LOOK AT THIS BEAN!!!!!!!!

YES I'M A WEEK LATE DO NOT JUDGE ME.

I am UNREASONABLY excited for this one, being that its:

• Her first solo live in 3 years

• Her first solo live in an actual venue in like 5 years by this point (not counting Holofes and the SorAZ one)

• Her biggest venue yet (i think it's like 1200 seated and 2000 standing!!!)

• Her first ever concert with an actual band like holy shoot!!!!!!

Everything about this is just so dang special on a very personal level, like, i think i mentioned this before but AZKi is someone who really belongs in the stage, like even putting her incredible singing aside, just the way that she carries herself so naturally and confidently, i'd say that she is the most comfortable i've seen a Vsinger be in the stage, whether she's alone or sharing it with someone else, and regardless of it being virtual, on a small club or even at the massive arenas of the Holofes.

Plus, and i realized i talked about this before, but it's incredibly endearing how much it shows that she adores being on stage too, like with how she always talks so dearly about her performances on the recap streams, or how she would always mention here and there wanting to go back to venues so bad for the past two years. Again, i know that there was the SorAZ live earlier this year and i was happy for that, but to not only see her standing on her own once again, but being able to do it on such a big venue, with an in-house band is just so incredibly fulfilling.

We can kind of already guess how it'll probably look like, given that her friend and fellow Victor Entertainment Vsinger MaiR also held her major debut live at the same venue, also with a live band:

youtube

But i'm still very interested to see how AZKi's songs translate into a live band. I'm assuming it's gonna be a standard 4-piece, so i'm looking forward to see if the setlist will be built around it with her more standard rock and ballad songs, or (and what i'm looking forward the most if it happens) if and how they'll arrange her more synth-y songs like "Intersection", "Time Capsule" or "Take me to Heaven"

(I'm also hoping that they do our lord and saviour Wataru Sena's godly drumwork justice but seeing how it's gonna be two performances i'm keeping my expectations reasonable)

I know this is dreaming way too big but can you imagine if she one day gets to have like a full on string section? Heck even just like a cello-violin combo would go so hard, as displayed by Ojou and HACHI. Like imagine "petal dance" or "Afterglow" or "Unmei no Arika" or "End Roll..." with live strings it would be so freaking insane, i don't know if any other holomems have done it before or if it's even feasible but hey i can dream at least.

Also also, the title of the live is "Kowairo Enthropy", "Kowairo'' (声色) means "impersonation", but the title writes it as 声音 "Seion", meaning "tone of voice". I've been really intrigued by this choice and i'm wondering if it's just a fancy title or if it's like a theme that she'll go into.

And of course, the second big news is her 3rd/Major 1st album!

(Artificially upscaled)

I wanna save any opinions on it until at the very least the XFD comes out, however, if i read the description right, it means that we're getting Inochi 2024 and another Wataru Sena song, which i cannot deny myself the excitement of, that man does not miss!

Akki is also set to have a song, they've done songs for other singers that i know and i've generally enjoyed their work, so i also have good expectations for what they might cook up. Hige Driver is returning from the SorAZ album, so i'm expecting at least 1 idol-ish song.

I don't really have much to say just yet given that i don't know or at least don't recognize any of the other composers, but if she handpicked them herself i have good reason to trust her sense, seeing that the post-INNK-pre-Victor songs (the "Pages" EP and "Ginga to Kairo") were very good. Going by the title and art i do trust, or at least hope that the songs will be made to her standards and direction, like her other friend and fellow Victor Entertainment Vsinger Asano Ruri's major 1st album was.

(Also hoping that she was allowed to do lyrics or some co-composing on any of these songs, pretty much any song that she's had writing credits on is a favorite of mine, let her cook!).

Also also, her birthday is coming up! These announcements actually caught me by surprise since i was expecting her to announce them on a 3D live, but i am aware that it's more standard for major musicians to leave like 2 or 3 months between announcement and event. So i'm like 80% certain that the big thing for this birthday will be the key visual for the sololive, since it's the only thing not revealed yet, but also, i'm secretly hoping to see either a new outfit or a remastered 1st model, as i said in my last AZKi post, not only it means a lot to me personally, but it's been getting a revival in popularity and it'd be the perfect time to bring it back.

I seriously cannot wait for the sololive and i sincerely hope she sells the absolute heck out of that venue because she absolutely deserves it!!!!

#Here's hoping this is just the beginning and she's able to go even further!#Cuz i'll say it again if i die without seeing her live in person i'll leave enough regrets in this world to curse ten thousand generations #Walpurgisnacht will be nothing but afternoon biscuits to me #hololive #AZKi #zero types a lot

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lingshanhermit · 3 months ago

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Lingshan Hermit: If you had a time machine, who would you most want to go back and make amends with?

In the final episode of "Better Call Saul", Jimmy (Saul Goodman) asks Mike in the New Mexico desert, leaning against a water tank: "If you had a time machine, where would you want to go? Ancient Rome? Or the American Civil War?" After some thought, Mike says if he could, he'd like to go 10 years into the future to see how certain people he cares about are doing. Later, while on the run, Jimmy asks Walter White the same question. Mr. White directly points out: "You're not talking about time machines, you're talking about regret. You want to ask if I have any regrets."

If time could be reversed, I believe Jimmy (Saul Goodman) would absolutely not walk into that high school one afternoon to meet Walter White, then a high school chemistry teacher just starting his meth business and future drug kingpin. He also definitely wouldn't want to meet Nacho or Lalo, or get involved in the drug lords' war. If he could choose again, he certainly wouldn't play that prank on Howard - his prank ultimately led to Howard's untimely death. This is something he's always regretted, although he hasn't shown it as obviously as his wife. This incident ruined his life, his career, everything. And it all started when he was 20, pretending to slip and fall outside a department store. From then on, he's always been smug about his own cleverness. Each time he managed to use his wits to escape danger smoothly, he became more infatuated with his own intelligence, until Howard was shot through the skull by Lalo right in front of him, shattering his delusions. But life's choices are irreversible; once we make a choice, we must bear the consequences. And what choices we make depends on our values, on our understanding of the world and happiness. It seems like we have choices, but we don't really. If we could do it again, we would probably make the same choices.

I have many regrets in my life, but the only thing I don't regret is choosing Buddhism. If time could be reversed, I wouldn't choose to have a cold war with my father, I wouldn't choose to get married, I would cherish my cat more, I would follow my teacher's words and be gentler to everyone. I wouldn't be so steadfast and uncompromising. I wouldn't take everything so seriously. This way, I might not have left those regrets. Fortunately, those things that make us regretful and uneasy also lead us to reflect and give us opportunities to correct ourselves. Sometimes I think, if there were no reincarnation, if there were no Buddhism, I might never be able to compensate them.

For Jimmy (Saul Goodman), he can only make up for his mistakes by going to prison. But this has no effect on the people he hurt. Those who died won't benefit from his imprisonment. For his wife Kim, telling the truth about Howard's death is the biggest redemption she can do for herself. As for me, I can make amends to them in many ways, even though I don't know where they are now, how they're doing, or what they look like. I can still benefit and bless them through Buddhism. I know they're somewhere in this world, with faces I no longer recognize, either as humans or covered in feathers and scales, living their own lives. I have completely disappeared from their memories. If we expand this to our entire cycle of reincarnation, we have loved and hurt every sentient being before. Our lives and theirs briefly overlap in reincarnation, then quickly separate. In the brief moment when our lives overlap, because of ego, because of insecurity, we hurt each other in the name of love, loving and hurting, until they disappear from our lives. Only then can we see endless regrets. But in the end, we will meet again in reincarnation. I hope there will be no regrets next time we meet, and next time I can lead them to appreciate the true nature of reality.

Written by Lingshan Hermit on August 17, 2024.

Copyright Notice：All copyrights of Ling Shan Hermit's articles in Simplified and Traditional Chinese, English, and other languages belong to the natural person who owns "Ling Shan Hermit". Please respect copyright. Publishers, media, or individuals (including but not limited to internet media, websites, personal spaces, Weibo, WeChat public accounts, print media) must obtain authorization from Ling Shan Hermit before use. No modifications to the articles are allowed (including: author's name, title, main text content, and punctuation marks). We reserve all legal rights.

灵山居士：如果有时光机，你最想回去弥补的是谁？

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timidey · 10 months ago

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Hi, it’s been a while since I posted on here so I figured I would give a little update. Nothing has changed. I’m still working my shitty job. And January is our busiest month so that hasn’t been fun. Every weekend I’m terrified of being called in and last Sunday I was which almost ruined my day. I finally got back on the job search and sure enough I still hate it. Even after working for 5 years, I still feel like a complete and total failure. My five years experience means nothing. I’m still struggling to find a decent job. It will pretty much be impossible to find another remote job. And every job I come across just asks for so many prerequisites that I just don’t have. Every time I look for a job, I feel like a worthless piece of garbage. Everything seems so hard and that I’m not qualified to do anything. My self esteem of course has taken another dive.

I know I talk a lot about work and how much it sucks, but that’s only because work is the worst thing on the planet. There is nothing worse than spending the majority of your day, everyday, for months or years doing something you absolutely hate. But you have no choice but to do it or else you risk going homeless, or starve, or just be a burden to people. People don’t want to be defined by their job because majority of people hate their job. Bad sadly I do think a job is what defines a person. If you look at any role model, you admire them because of their career. An author, a singer, and actor. You admire them for the work they create and that’s what they get paid to do.

So far 2024 has been a bust. Nothing exciting or uplifting for me. It’s just the same monotonous grind. I know people have it worse, but I’m still living a life I’m not happy with. I have not had a win in such a long time. I honestly don’t even remember what they feel like anymore.

But I’m still here, despite how miserable I feel, I’m still here. I just gotta keep hoping and looking. I’m sure I’m deluding myself, but I just gotta believe that one day hopefully soon, something will go my way sand that I can finally be on the path to happiness.

So please wish me good luck cause Lord knows I need it

#diary #life #me #sad #depressed #work sucks #i hate my job #I hate myself

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loveeyeslester · 6 months ago

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heres the entire thing under a cut if ur way too lazy to deal with it blocking ur adblocker

‘We’re in the midst of the Dan and Phil renaissance,’ YouTube influencer and satirical comedian Dan tells Metro.co.uk.

‘People who were teenagers five or 10 years ago are now full adults and going “we want more Dan and Phil”. What does that look like in the year of our Lord 2024?’

For Dan – who reached peak internet notoriety in the mid-2010s – his career is far from petering out but rather going in vast new directions.

The paperback version of his Sunday Times bestselling mental health guide, You Will Get Through This Night, is hitting shelves. His two-hour comedy special We’re All Doomed has landed on YouTube after a lengthy world tour.

Not to mention his hugely popular gaming channel with fellow YouTuber Phil Lester (formerly AmazingPhil) coming back bigger and better than ever.

‘Last year Phil was like, “I feel like it’s time to bring this [channel] back for the people. Nature’s healing, people want to reclaim their inner children, people are missing this light entertainment from their two favourite British clowns on YouTube”,’ he recalled.

His return to regular YouTube programming (something he has done on and off since 2017) has left fans shocked and delighted with videos consistently racking up between 300k to 600k views.

Dan is no stranger to taking long breaks from the internet.

In 2019, after disappearing from the public sphere, he made a shocking return with his viral 50-minute video provocatively titled Basically, I’m Gay.

It has since totted up 12m views.

The visual odyssey talked through his struggles with accepting his sexuality, the toxic internet gossip about his personal life (filled with romance rumours about Phil) and his battle with clinical depression and anxiety.

‘Before that moment I was deeply in the closet,’ Dan admitted.

‘Everyone was wondering “what’s going on in Dan Howell’s personal life”, all these conspiracy theories and it was this weird elephant in the room that I wasn’t talking about.’

But contrary to feeling resentment for his private life becoming fodder for rampant speculation, all Dan feels is gratitude.

‘The reality is, I was dealing with so much internalised homophobia because of my childhood, that was such a huge thing for me to confront,’ he explained.

‘I don’t think I would have ever had the nerve to actually confront something that difficult if I wasn’t in a position where I had this audience looking up to me. I think I would have gone on another 10 years. I would have been a depressed 42-year-old lawyer, deeply in the closet.’

‘It’s only because of me deciding to post funny little comedy videos about my socially awkward habits on YouTube that I had this audience that made me think, “What can I achieve” by confronting this in my life.’

The overwhelming response catapulted him into his new vulnerable online era (after a couple of false starts).

The natural next step was to publish a self-help book about mental health, punctuated with astonishingly raw anecdotes from all Dan’s personal triumphs and desperate failures.

‘The amazing thing about this book is the corners of the world this went into like nothing I’ve done before,’ he reflected about the 2021 hardback release which topped the book charts.

‘My book publishers will be like, “We’ve got a really emotional letter from someone who is a counsellor at a college in Michigan in America that recommended this book to a student and they realised they have an anxiety problem”. They just thought that’s what life was like.’

But as someone who has built a career on his self-deprecating persona the ‘sincere and personal messages’ from affected fans have been strange, to say the least.

Although Dan tries to practise what he preaches, he’s the first to admit he doesn’t uphold the healthiest habits.

‘Being on tour was amazing for me because I had no choice but to live in a constant state of freefall. My life is falling apart, my body is falling apart, living on the floor of a bus. Turns out great for my mental health. You’ve just got to go, go, go,’ he said.

One thing is for sure, this book is a rallying cry for LGBTQ+ youth to prioritise their mental health in a world that isn’t always accepting. And Dan has accumulated plenty of queer fans over the years.

‘The joke is half of the girls that watch Dan and Phil are lesbians, or some of them are boys now,’ he quipped.

‘How did we get there? Who are these people in 2014 in middle school just trying to survive at the worst time of their life? How did we find each other? Obviously I wasn’t open about these parts of my life until I was much older.

‘A lot of people come up to me and say ‘you shaped me as a person’ and I think “That’s terrible, that must have been really traumatic”.’

His rebranding from reclusive online star Danisnotonfire to comedy maestro and gay icon Daniel Howell has not been without its challenges, however.

‘I’ve accidentally been put on a pedestal and I’m just like “I didn’t ask for any of this” I’m trying to be a mess in real time,’ he shared.

‘Everything I have ever been able to write funny stuff about has been my flaws. If I’m being the best me I have nothing to talk about. I think I should be the messiest Dan anyone can imagine because then there’s content.”

But positive LGBTQ+ role models are vital as the UK government continues to target queer youth.

‘There’s such a generational divide in this country right now around what it means to be queer, what it means to be a young person, what it’s like for millennials to just buy a house and whether that will ever happen,’ Dan said.

‘It sounds crude but there is an inevitable fact that one day all the old people will die. Worst case scenario, we’ve just got to hold out for another 10, 20, 30 years and then it will be our turn to be in charge. We can’t let them break us.’

As the UK election approaches, it looks more and more likely a Labour government will secure victory, but Dan has a warning.

‘Here’s hoping they do try to actually fix things and they’re not just trying to keep things exactly the way that they are and just behave a bit more sensibly, that’s not gonna cut it.

‘If you keep punching down to all the queer people just trying to live their lives authentically it’s not gonna solve the problem, it’s just gonna make people angry until one day the lid flips.’

Although the political future is up for grabs, Dan is taking control of his own.

you know how people nowadays get news from tiktok? well I get my phan news from you. what interview

being compared to tiktok might be a new low but i love being a news source here you go

https://metro.co.uk/2024/05/10/daniel-howell-without-youtube-a-closeted-lawyer-20800874/

#dan.txt #lol I got annoyed so I grabbed this all from the html #be free tumblr phannies

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steele-soulmate · 2 years ago

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Tattooed Wings, CHAPTER 18, Peter Steele & OFC, Soulmate AU

SUMMARY: Mary Claire Bradley meets her soulmate- literally- the famous Peter Steele of metal group Type O Negative. But will obstacles including trauma, stalkers, and toxic family members get in the way of their life?

WARNING: mentions of child rape (nothing graphic) PTSD, milk kink

First rewritten reworking 06/17/2023

Second rewritten reworking 10/04/2024

WORDS: 1209

I was smiling sleepily as I locked up the Copper Penny behind me. I had told Harry to go home to his pregnant wife and three kids and I would lock up behind everyone. Peter lingered next to me, inadvertently making me feel safe with his lurking frame near me.

“Goodnight, sisters!” I called out as I set the alarm before locking the door behind me. “The bar was a church back in the early nineteen hundreds, but a devastating fire killed most who lived under the house of the lord. It’s said a group of ghostly nuns haunt the bar ever since then playing harmless pranks on those who come in,” I explained, letting out a yawn as I shouldered my backpack. “Goodness me, I’m wiped.”

Peter scooped me into his arms and began to walk over to where he had parked his car. I drifted off into a half awake half asleep state of mind as I curled myself into his chest, only waking when he placed me into the passenger seat and was buckling me in. He tugged the seatbelt, making sure it was it was tight before bending and kissing my stomach.

“I love you,” he murmured before straightening up and closing the door. He rounded the car before getting into the driver’s seat and pulling away from the public library parking lot. I didn’t know who he was talking to- me or little girl growing safe and warm in my womb, but it still made me smile.

“Hey sweetheart, I’m going to view a property in Brooklyn Heights tomorrow,” he told me. “It’s an eight acre lot, set in the middle of Blueberry Forest, right on Meadowlark Lake. It seems like it’ll be a perfect place to build a little house for us.”

“Peter, eight acres is a bit excessive, if you ask me,” I mumbled, cracking my eyes open. “What are you planning?”

“I was thinking maybe a three bedroom house for us and a bunch of small guesthouses for when our families come over,” he confessed his plans. “I know I should’ve involved you, but I’m just so excited for the future.”

“How long do you think it’ll take to build everything?” I asked, wiggling around as I made myself comfortable.

“I’m estimating about twelve weeks,” he shrugged. “Give or take.”

“How much money are we looking at spending?” was my next question.

“Hey now, none of that,” he frowned, reaching across to grab my hand. “It’s my project, I’m paying for it.” He pulled my hand up to kiss the back of it. “Don’t worry about money.”

“Sorry,” I muttered. “I cut my parents completely out of my life earlier this year- I hadn’t had an actual conversation with them in over ten years, I had to literally teach myself and my two little sisters to adult. We grew up extremely sheltered after what happened with Eric. I had to clip coupons for grocery shopping, and even then, we still didn’t have enough to eat sometimes.”

I could tell Peter was angry as he gripped the steering wheel so tight his tattooed knuckles turned white. He forced a deep inhale of breath in through his nose, holding it for a few seconds before releasing it.

“I didn’t want to cut daddy out of my life, but I honestly had no choice,” I muttered. “Wherever he goes, mom is close behind, always.”

“You never told me what they did for a living,” he changed the subject somewhat.

“Well, my daddy is Jonathan Bradley, the lawyer,” I said. “Mom is Martha Bradley and is a Mary Kay consultant. Daddy would let us triplets get away with anything, but his first love is always his law firm. He’s addicted to his work- every spare second he has he has he spends it in his office. Mom had to force him to take my sisters and I to father daughter dances in grade school, and even then, he would spend the entire night on his phone.” I snorted, shaking my head. “Mom is a control freak. She wanted to send me away to a fancy Ivy League school for college and was disappointed when I got a full ride scholarship to Julliard’s. She tried to set me up on dates with her friend’s sons and pitched a fit when I came out as bisexual my junior year of high school. The final straw came when I got wind of a wedding- she ‘arranged’ me to marry Kody Williams, even though he had been harassing me for years. I just didn’t show up to the wedding, and she simply lost out on a lot of money.”

“Fucking Christ…” Peter groaned. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

“I think she’s disappointed that she didn’t get the daughter that she always wanted,” I shrugged. “I haven’t even told her little girl’s gender because she pitched yet another fit when I told her that I was acting as a surrogate. She wanted me to marry and start popping out the grandkids. All that happened in March of this year, so… yeah, pretty recently.”

“I’m so sorry sweetheart,” he said as he pulled into the apartment parking lot. “Do you want me to come up?” I hummed out a yes, unbuckling the seatbelt as he came around to open the door for me. I swung my legs out and made to get out only to find myself in his arms yet again.

“Daddy lets us stay in his apartment for free, he just asks that we don’t bring home anyone who’d make him bring out the family shotgun,” I muttered, curling myself into his arms as he carried me up to the third floor to the apartment that I shared with Jackie and Sammi. I handed him the key to the front door and he opened the door before setting me down.

“Gramercy, Peter,” I smiled, kissing my fist and bumping it against his lips.

“What was that?” he asked me with an amused smile.

“A kiss,” I explained. “Because you’re such a giant.”

“I have a better idea, sweetheart.” He bent down and picked me up before carrying me over to the kitchen counter, where he set me down and leaned in. “Sweetheart, may I…?”

I only smiled before leaning the rest of the way and capturing his lips in a sweet kiss.

Gramercy~ thank you, Old French?

TAGLISTS ARE OPEN/ ASK BOX IS OPEN/ REQUESTS ARE OPEN/ PLOT BUNNIES ARE WELCOMED

If you liked this, then please consider buying me a coffee HERE It only costs $3!!!

PETER STEELE TAGLIST

@rock-a-noodle

@elianafilthyrose

@ch3rry-c01a

@rockstarslutt

@angelxfuckk

#Peter Thomas Ratajczyk #Josh Silver #Kenny Hickey #Johnny Kelly #Mary Claire Bradley (OFC)#Peter Steele #Type O Negative #Heavy metal #Doom metal #Soulmate AU #Real person ficton (RPF)#Tattooed Wings #Romance #Family #Humor #Drama #Friendship #Matching tattoos soulmate AU #Age gap romance

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itsyourchoicedevotionals · 9 months ago

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Words Spawn Actions

“You have wearied the Lord with your words. Yet you say, In what way have we wearied Him? [You do it when by your actions] you say, Everyone who does evil is good in the sight of the Lord and He delights in them. Or [by asking], Where is the God of justice?” Malachi 2:17AMPC

Are you aware that our words spawn actions? Words are formulated from the thoughts of our hearts. Unfortunately, too often, my words will bypass my mind and exit my mouth. It’s an area I truly struggle in, just as my feelings will show on my face, again thoughts from the heart. Proverbs 23:7NKJV “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…”

This is one reason Solomon wrote, Proverbs 4:23NLT “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

David knew the way to guard the heart was “Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in Your ways” Psalm 119:37ESV.

Isaiah asked who could dwell with Yahweh. Holy Spirit’s response was “He who walks righteously and speaks uprightly, who despises the gain of oppressions, who shakes his hands, lest they hold a bribe, who stops his ears from hearing of bloodshed and shuts his eyes from looking on evil” Isaiah 33:16ESV. Three actions correspond with our text scripture. Speaking “uprightly,” closing his ear and eye gates to evil. Guarding our hearts is guarding what we allow into our minds through our senses.

Why? Satan knows bombarding the eyes and ears will dull our minds, changing our actions. People become desensitized by seeing evil— hence planned riots, looting, murders, pornography, blatant sex sins and lifestyles. Example: We held a high moral standard in our home. Unmarried couples weren’t permitted to sleep together. Lou’s sister-in-law and boyfriend lived together… how could I not permit them? Fortunately, all the beds were filled, he got top bunk and she the bottom. Later, came others, whom Lou didn’t want to insult by separating them, saying, ‘let God be their Holy Spirit.’ Weren’t we desensitized? Or was I trying to play God?

Preachers, and church members alike talk about how they can’t understand why God is permitting such evil today. Do we turn off evil movies, TV shows, talk shows? Are we approving the evil by our actions and then discussing what we’ve seen?

Everyone is fighting and arguing about abortion. ‘It’s my body, my right to abort.’ Isn’t it the right of the life created to live? The fight is because of fifty years of satan’s indoctrination camps called schools, teaching sex-ed, and the government calling it ‘birth control.’ Surely this is evil. Yet, some churches say it’s okay, even perfectly fine to abort. When believers don’t oppose politicians who favor abortion, their actions say— “evil is good,” while words say, ‘God understands the fetus is better off, than alive with those parents.’

Those same church goers scream out “Where is the justice of God?” because of the pedophilia, child sex trafficking, murders of children, twisted perverted education in the schools. What’s the difference? Because the children were born rather than unborn? They consider Adonai a weakling because He doesn’t prevent what they’ve allowed.

Jesus said, “You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?” Matthew 7:16ESV. It all starts at the ballot box. Don’t say, ‘we can’t vote in corrupt elections.’ Vote paper ballots on election day trusting God. Simply not voting is voting for evil. Voting a party ticket because that’s ‘our party’ has voted in evil people, promoting Communism, crime by defunding police, releasing prisoners, opening borders allowing known violent offenders across without restriction— don’t accuse God for not being unjust. Shut your mouths.

Could our words be identifying us as someone other than a Christ follower? It’s your choice. You choose.

LET’S PRAY: Adonai forgive, please, our harsh words and sinful actions, in the name of Jesus Christ I pray.

#Jesus Christ #word of god #lord of lords #holy spirit #god #it's your choice #devotional #words #actions #spawn #vote #ballots #education #indoctrination #riots #believers #hope #love #faith

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