#look at max acting like a shark lol

[ethanhuntfemmefatale]

Me: *reblogs all your mi:1 posts* guess what I watched last night

Thank you for being (what looks like) the only other fucker on this website that sees the Ethan x Max possiblity and the Jim x Claire x Ethan situation

So, what do you think Ethan's response would be to finding out Max is dead? (once the fallout situation has been dealt with and he can breath)

hello hello and thank you for this ask i love it dearly. I feel like there's this inherent connection between ethan/jim/claire and ethan/max, you can't really have one without the other. anyway I did tell myself I was going to wait to answer this until after i see the max portion of MI1 tonight but i started thinking about it and then i started writing out my ideas and here we are with a rant. below are just a whole lot of thoughts and ideas, some more relevant than others--for the actual answer of your question, you can just scroll until you get to the part that says "OK NOW WE’VE GOT ALL THAT OUT OF THE WAY. I CAN ACTUALLY ANSWER YOUR QUESTION NOW."

You're not actually asking for my ethanmax treatise but i'm going to give it anyway just cause your ask got me thinking about it and i feel like writing about it. so here goes.

ETHANMAX TREATISE

Ethan/max is complicated. you're dealing with a lot of subtle facets when you try to understand them. here are some parts that interest me, im sure there are aspects im missing.

Factors at play in ethanmax—

-The acting choices. These characters, as has been commented on before by others, look like they want to eat each other. That’s significant lol. To add a complication to this, I would argue there’s a subtle edge and nervousness to Ethan when they interact, a sharpness to his acting, although that’s a personal interpretation. I’m looking at the finger-stimming behind his back (out of max’s view) in the initial scene, and also the kinda frozen, too-big smile he gives her in response to “it’s like a warm blanket” in the car scene.

-Dutch angles/blocking. In her intro scene, Max is framed with a Dutch angle, while Ethan isn’t. MI1 is deeply informed by Ethan’s POV, so I always take the Dutch angles as a sign of Ethan’s perspective or mental state. Ethan not being Dutch angled suggests that his world isn’t being turned upside down the way it is in the restaurant scene with Kittridge, he’s in control of the situation. But when he looks at Max, she’s framed as imposing, unsettling (the angle suggests instability) and even maybe frightening. The blocking of characters, specifically re height, is also significant in MI1 and something I think about a lot when analyzing character dynamics. For example, Claire is often “over” Ethan, standing while he’s sitting, suggesting that she knows something he doesn’t or has power over him in some way. That’s reversed in a couple key scenes, such as the horrible patdown scene where Ethan uses masculine sexual violence against her, and the hand kiss scene where he suspects she’s lying to him. Jim, on the other hand, is tallest in any given shot, except in the scene where Jim and Claire are sitting with Ethan leaning on them from above. Suggesting that the only person who might be able to overpower/outsmart him is Ethan. Looking at Ethan’s scenes with Max—they start on the same level, but as they speak, Max is always over him, standing and circling him like a shark. If i am remembering correctly, she even sits on the edge of her desk to be over him, which is such a weird kinda striking choice, and emphasizes that idea of her as predator and Ethan as (consciously tempting) prey. It’s not fully as simple as the idea of Max being more powerful than Ethan—she is, but there’s also an intentionality there, Ethan consciously presenting himself as beneath her to make himself more appealing. What’s crucial to me, though, is that Ethan is never presented as being above her. He is manipulating and using her, but the power dynamics are always unequal between them, she still has way more agency in the situation than he does.

-Narrative parallels. Ethan’s dynamic with Max is heavily linked to the Ethan/Jim/Claire plot in a couple of different ways. First of all, Ethan/Max as a Jim/Max parallel, Ethan following in the footsteps of Jim’s betrayal of the IMF, in order to track him down. Which is tied to Ethan’s role as Jim’s successor and the one person capable of stopping him. There’s more to talk about there but it’s not super relevant (although ‘Job is not playful’ sticks in my mind forever). Also, Ethan/Max as a Claire/Ethan parallel. The two are presented similarly in some key ways, with Ethan using “Claire techniques” to pique Max’s interest, and to be honest it’s difficult to nail down what narrative purpose that parallel was intended to serve. I have a couple theories. I think Claire/Ethan parallels serve to tie the two of them together. Second, Ethan’s seduction of Max implicates him more deeply in the corruption plot of MI1. Third, comparing Ethan to Claire helps to solidify the power dynamics of the Ethan/Jim/Claire trio, with both Ethan and Claire desperately trying to “steal” or “borrow” the narrative authority and agency of an older powerful figure through sex (my personal pet Claire theory is that she meant to use Jim’s plot to get money and freedom for herself).

-Thematic significance. To speak a little more about Ethan/Max and the corruption plot of MI1…you kinda have to start with Jim. Jim occupies a very interesting role as the pseudo-hero of the movie. The ex-James Bond, the ultimate good guy, who is framed kinda as a protagonist figure in his introduction on the plane. Jim has this Christian-patriarchal thematic framework of corruption versus purity that he overlays onto MI1 (I talked about this more in my Ethan hunt corruption rant, so I’m not going to totally get into it here). A lot of that is linked to the Ethan/Jim/Claire tensions, Ethan being Jim’s protege who is more similar to his corrupt wife, both of them having a corrupt feminine skill set of emotional and sexual manipulation. Ethan starts the movie play-acting a masculine figure, then when he strips that mask we see his hidden, corrupt love for Claire—after Jim dies, he succumbs entirely to the corruption that was always inherent within him, by seducing Max. Ironically that corruption, which Jim sees as a fatal weakness, allows Ethan to uncover the truth and defeat him. (drinking game: take a sip every time i use the word corruption when talking about ethan/jim/claire/max.) What does this mean for the Ethan/Max dynamic? To me, it’s about how Ethan sees her. Max is representative of Ethan’s final loss of moral purity by Jim’s rules. Not to mention Max embodies sinfulness by Jim's rules as a powerful and sexually assertive woman. All that is a really significant part of their dynamic. Which brings me to:

-Franchise-long separation/isolation from the narrative. I honestly cannot tell if this is an intentional McQ or TC choice, although the stuff TC said about the alanna kiss (him repeating ‘I own you’ lives rent free in my head forever mr cruise are you ok no of course you’re not) suggests he’s aware of the weight of that plotline to some degree. What is fascinating to me about Ethan’s relationship with Max and the idea/specter of her in MI is that it always happens behind closed doors, without any of Ethan’s loved ones present. The exception being the one scene in DR1, which I need to watch again to fully analyze but if I remember correctly everybody involved in that scene is kinda unanimously going “wtf is going on between these two I have no context.” Examples: well, every Max/Ethan scene, including Ethan’s meeting with that one Max-associated guy in Ghost Protocol, the Alanna/Ethan kiss. (Ilsa witnesses that scene, but Ethan doesn’t know or want her to.) Anyway my point here is: Ethan seems to have this deep desire to keep the Max stuff private. There are multiple explanations for this—Max is a reminder of the worst time in his life, of MI1, which is a carefully-guarded memory anyway. Max (and Alanna by extension) is a powerful and dangerous individual who he doesn’t want his friends involved with. Max is quite simply a bad and complicated memory due to her associations with Jim and Claire, and the complicated/horrifying world of sexual manipulation, sexual violence and sexual trauma that Ethan is inducted into in MI1. But my personal favorite explanation is shame. To my mind, the narrative separation suggests that Ethan is ashamed of his history with Max. This is really interesting! Because the narrative doesn’t shame Ethan for Max. There’s no movie-inherent negative thematic stance on Ethan’s seduction of Max or anyone else, it’s presented as kinda cool and useful from what I can tell. So if Ethan hasn’t internalized shame from the movie’s morality, to my mind that means he’s internalized shame from Jim’s. Which is—not strictly relevant to the question at hand, but deeply fascinating to me in a broader discussion of McQuarrie era Ethan.

Anyway! What’s important for our discussion is that Ethan consistently fights to keep Max and all signs of his connection with her away from even his closest friends and allies. What that represents to my mind is a discomfort around their association, and a system of shame and denial around his past “dealings” (sex) with her. Meanwhile, he is unable to escape the reality of Max and the reality of their history, his history.

OK NOW WE’VE GOT ALL THAT OUT OF THE WAY. I CAN ACTUALLY ANSWER YOUR QUESTION NOW.

I think Ethan takes losses hard. Max’s death would be a blow in that sense, but in some other ways it might even be a comfort? Ethan hasn’t known many people who lived to old age and (presumably) died nonviolently. That’s a fucking feat. It’s a testament to Max’s strength and power. Not only that, but her formidable legacy in the form of Alanna is a feat as well—Max is dead, but she kept her empire alive, and passed her power onto a successor. There’s grief and loss there largely in the sense of, there’s one more person who was present for the Unspeakable Time (MI1) that is no longer alive. Now the only witnesses left are Ethan, Luther and Kittridge. If circumstances were different, I think Ethan being Ethan would figure out a way to pay his respects anonymously. With the way Fallout unfolds, though, it’s too risky to admit that he and Max were ever connected at all, which I think intensifies the lack-of-closure, shoe-on-the-wrong-foot feeling that’s always present to me when Ethan and Alanna interact. To me there’s one more facet—Max is representative of this part of Ethan, this “corrupt” part of Ethan that wants narrative power and seduces people to get it, that he doesn’t allow anybody else to see. And with her death, I would argue that the last person who can understand him is gone.

On a different note—I love the idea of Max being alive in Fallout. Mostly cause Vanessa Redgrave is fucking legendary, and also it would scratch the constant itch of Ethan interacting with other “narrative elders,” other survivors. I love kittridge, but seeing Ethan interact with Max herself would be way better fucking electric. I do think Max being alive would make it very difficult to pull off Alanna’s introduction, though, so I can see why they made the choice to have her die off screen. That said, I would be FASCINATED to see Max and Alanna’s mother-daughter dynamic, especially with the way that Alanna in Fallout acts as a parallel for MI1 Ethan. I want to see some fucked up codependent shit on my screen.

Anyway these are my thoughts such as they are! I am seeing the max parts of MI1 tonight so I might change my mind about some things in which case I’ll post even more.

[the-firebird69]

Watch "Billy Joel - The Downeaster 'Alexa' (Official Video)" on YouTube

And our cleanse divides this plan and we told you what they may have built and how and you still don't seem to understand it but my daddy and his Uncle Paul did and he goes off as Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom person when Indiana is probably gone from your grasp looking for the ark of the covenant we find out that people have found tons of them and they're made out of certain metal and other and he says it it's not necessarily the metal so I get that and it's like Ivory he says but it's rare and it is put together in order to shield you from what's inside and he says it could be the eye of Horus. And the pyramids were theirs they built them and set them at the top Max bunkers and it's an analogy for what's below huge huge ships just like what's in Massachusetts Bay but that's not all that's there a lot of people are saying and they're going after the clones and saying the scobledygook and they're saying that there are people then they say they're gone then they end up dead. And a lot of them it has to do with the story of smog and a Disney world there's a real dragon it's not a dinosaur it's not a lizard it's not a sculpture it's a fire drink fired reason breathing dragon and it's my husband's and his brother took it captured it and used it to fake his death and Trump thinks he's gone when he's not all Trump has to do is find a hairline cut in the skull and the mystery is over and he can't seem to do it or remember that you should if they're going on for a while. Huge huge ships haven't seen and this is about either or they say but really they're trying to figure out if George has something and because he did The Big dig and he did it to sense what was below and there was stations called Vince from the tube and he was collecting data and it's going on now most of you are missing it to bothering me now Dan has been by several times trying to become a security guard the kid that my husband and it's pitiful and we want our money back so we have to take over everything because nobody sees fit to get us our money and he is father won't allow us to have any I probably won't get paid till they have to so I think expelling them works and really Billy z did it news people aren't smart enough. All the churches in synagogues and more look like it could be our clans and they sent the message back I'm trying to figure out who our people were. The Giant number of numbskulls around here rather simple they plasticized the shark and then released it what's so complicated about that well later but the legacy is huge Sanskrit Egyptian writings Latin the Bible the monks the Dead Sea scrolls they're working on all that it's going to be quite an act to follow if you just use morons when they're drink and get high with him and disturb him mentally

Hera lol hahaha Zues

He says oh I fit right in but not really

Don't care about the ACT they say they don't need one and we agree most of them don't cuz they won't be here momentarily

Olympus

[inkandpen22]

Until This Night (6/?)

Pairing: Riff x Latina!Reader

Word Count: 3.0k

Warnings: racism themes, swearing, violence

Part Summary: Unwilling to reveal the truth to the Jets and unable to stop their intentions, Riff feels he has no choice but to see their plan through despite the consequences. 

A/N: Happy 30th Mike you still look 24 max. lol party hard and go listen to 30/90

Masterlist

Y/N

As the sun begins to set, I start to close up the shop. Valentina and Tony remain downstairs, finishing up some restocking. The faint sound of Bobby Darin singing fills the otherwise silent space as I flip off all of the lights. I move on to turning all of the chairs onto the tables. My peace is abruptly interrupted by the bell and rapid footsteps stumbling in. 

I spin around to find an out-of-breath Riff rushing toward me. My eyes grow wide and I immediately worry the worst. “Riff, what’s-” 

“Could I... uh... could I talk to you... please?” He pants and reaches for me. 

“Are you crazy?!” I step out of his reach and glance down the steps leading to the cellar. “Valentina and Tony are just downstairs!”

He takes my hands anyway. “Let’s run away!” 

“What?” I gasp. 

“Let’s get out of here! Just you and me!” He practically begs. “We can go anywhere you want! Let’s just-” 

I laugh nervously. “And leave Maria and Bernardo? What if Bernardo knew you were here?” 

He cups my face urgently. “I’m not afraid of him!” 

I place my hands over his gently with a sigh. As much as I would love to go with him and act reckless, I have responsibilities here. I reluctantly shake my head. My eyes fall to the floor. “No, no, you have to go...”

“But-”

“It’s too dangerous!” I reason with a chuckle. “Do you understand what will happen if he finds out about us? Your Jets, the Sharks...”

“They don’t have to know!” I tries to convince me. 

I laugh, stepping out of his hold toward the counter. 

“At least not yet!” He explains as he follows. “Not until we have sort of plan!”

I sigh and plop on one of the stools. “Bernardo watches me like a hawk, the Sharks do! And the Jets, they follow you everywhere. We wouldn’t make it to the station before they-”

He slides onto the stool beside me and takes my hands pleadingly. “We’ll figure it out!”

“How? Everything is working against us! We...” My head falls as does my voice. “It’s impossible.”

He tucks his fingers under my chin, urging me to look at him. “Impossible or too complicated?”

I shrug. “Both.”

He lifts my hands and kisses my knuckles, squeezing his eyes shut in the process. He then meets my gaze and his ocean eyes shimmer under the faint moonlight illuminating the otherwise dark store. “I’m not saying it’s going to easy. It’s going to be annoyingly difficult, but I’m willing to deal with that because I want you!”

I shake my head repeatedly despite the desperate urge to say ‘yes.’ I wish it were simple, that we could just get out of here. 

He leans forward, resting his forehead against mine. 

My eyes fall shut as I ponder the moment, the closeness. All-day I wish we could have a moment like this without having to hide. 

“I know you’re afraid... but you have to trust me,” he mutters. 

A shaky breath escapes me as I squeeze his hands tighter. 

“Please, let’s just go! Life...” He pauses and brings his hand to my cheek with a huff. “It’ll be so much easier if we left this all behind us!” 

I swallow hard, restraining myself. “And your Jets?”

“They’ll figure it out without me!” He voices confidently. “Ice can handle things!” 

I have thought about it, what that would look like for us. It’s been such a short time, but I’ve considered my life beyond New York and I’ve begun to imagine what that would look like with Riff in it. We could be happy, far happier than we are here, somewhere far from here. We could have a life, a home, a sense of peace.

My eyes flicker open as I brush my fingers through his hair. I lean forward and plant a gentle kiss to his cheek. His arms snake around me and bring me into an embrace. He clings to me and it nearly breaks my heart. 

“I’m sorry Riff...” I whisper, leaning back to meet his broken gaze. I struggle to keep my voice from cracking. I caress his cheek softly. “I can’t. My life is here. My family is here. I want to see the world, but.... but I’m just not ready yet.”

Riff’s eyes flicker down to my lips. In a blink, he grabs my face and slams his lips to mine. It doesn’t come close to resembling our kiss from last night or this morning. It feels familiar as though we’ve done it forever, but it’s also filled with desperation and worries me. It reminds me of our first kiss when Riff was unsure of himself. Except now, he knows of my feelings for him, so why the uncertainty? Why the desperation? Why does he want to run? It makes my pulse race with anxiety. 

Rapid, heavy, footsteps up the creaking stairs to the cellar cause us to break apart. Riff flies up from his seat and paces away toward the tables, his head hanging low. Seconds later, Tony reveals himself and slows to a halt at the top of the stairs.  

Despite his presence, I have to make sure Riff is okay. “Riff I-” 

Before I can finish, the boy bolts to the door and disappears into the night. I spin in the stool and rest my forehead against the counter with a light thud. 

“What was that about?” Tony asks worriedly. “Was he bothering you?” 

I release a deep, shaky breath and do my best to not shed a tear. I rise from my seat slowly and put on a weak smile. “No, no everything’s alright.” I return to my task of setting up the tables for closing. 

“Y/N...” Tony mutters. 

“It’s fine Tony,” I assure him poorly. “Really...” 

I restrain myself and hold back any ounce of emotion that’s demanding to be felt. It’s too soon. Riff and I have known each other for a month and see each other every day, but we hardly know anything about one another but the basics. I... I’m just not ready. How can I be sure if any of this is real or just in my head?

I can’t deny that I feel something when he’s near and forget about everything else when he looks at me. Yet, I can’t ignore the harsh reality that he’s not just any gringo -- which would be hard enough. No, he’s a Jet, the Jet. To be with riff could mean losing my family. I would be betraying them. We have to be smart about this and I’m still debating whether I’m willing to sacrificing everything I love for him... Do I love him or is this just a fickle moment weakness? I don’t know. 

__________________________________

The next morning...

Once the priest closes Mass, Rosalia and I lock arms to head outside with the rest of the crowd. Anita, Maria, and the others linger a few steps behind chatting. 

Anita hollers to us. “¡No corras demasiado lejos!” (Don’t run ahead too far!) 

Rosalia snickers. “¡Mantenga!” (Keep up!)

I laugh, peering over my shoulder at Anita who sends me a smirk but keeps a close eye on us. 

“Pero sí,” I return to my conversation with Rosalia. “Tendré que ver si podemos ir más tarde.” (But yes, I’ll have to see if we can go later.” 

“¡El mercado estuvo espectacular la semana pasada!” She gushes. “¡Tienes que intentarlo!” (The market was spectacular last week! You’ll have to try!) 

We step outside of the cathedral and the bright sun illuminates us. The warm summer breezes brushes against our Sunday white dresses and makes our vails flow. 

Rosalia guides me to the top of the steps to wait for the others as we usually do. “¿Crees que Anita te dejaría ir a la tienda de refrescos conmigo?” (Do you think Anita would let you go to the soda shop with me?)

I laugh with raised brows. “¿Estás bromeando? Sin supervisión? Probablemente no, ya que se sabe que los Jets van allí.” (Are you kidding? without supervision? Probably not since Jets are known to go there.) 

“Podríamos correr allí ...” She bites down on her lower lip mischievously and searches the crowd for our families. “Son solo dos cuadras ...” (We could run there... it's only two blocks...) 

I giggle briefly check around us for Anita or my sister. I smirk. “¿Qué es esa frase? ¿Es más fácil pedir perdón que pedir permiso?” (What's that phrase? It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is for permission?) 

Rosalia takes my hand and the two of us hurry down the stairs, weaving between people. 

Rosalia squeals. “¡Disculpe!” (Excuse me!) 

I inhale with a hiss, nearly running into a couple. “Perdónanos!” (Pardon us!) 

“Y/N!” We hear Anita shout from the top of the stairs. “Rosalia!” 

We giggle and briskly jog around the corner down the alley. The alley is the quickest shortcut back to our apartment building and takes us toward the soda shop. It’s the way our group always takes after Mass to get home without having to deal with the hecticness of the sidewalk on a Sunday. 

Amongst our laughter, there’s a sudden whistling. I know that specific dragged-out tune it’s in. I halt, making Rosalia do the same. I grip her hand harder and spin around frantically in search of them. 

She wraps her hand around my forearm, stepping closer to my side. “¿Qué es? ¿Qué ocurre?” (What is it? What’s wrong?)

“Up here, ladies!” A voice shouts. 

Our heads snap back and right when they do, four pure white waterfalls come splashing down on us. Rosalia and I break apart, cover our heads the best we can. 

Rosalia screams and it’s followed by a series of laughs. 

The liquid weighs heavy on me and I’m too afraid to open my eyes in fear of what it may be. The last time this happened the paint was so close my eyes that one more inch and Valentina was sure I’d have damage. 

As I squeeze my eyes shut and fall to my knees, I scream. “Anita! Anita!” The substance gets in my mouth and I struggle to spit it all out. 

Numerous sets of heavy footsteps approach us. 

“Help!” Rosalia shouts and I can tell she’s a few feet away now. 

“Scared Señorita?” A voice mocks.  

I recognize it. 

“Maybe she needs to lighten up,” another adds. 

“Ice, Action,” I guess. 

My words are followed by silence. I must be right. 

There’s rattling and the next thing I know a palm is shoving something soft into my face. He smears it around. My screaming is muffled against their hand and the laughter. 

The unidentified Jet removes his hand. “There you go, Señorita! Send our compliments to your brother!” Once he speaks I’m certain it’s Ice. 

I wipe my mouth clean the best I can and gasp for air. I feel the substance in my hands and I blindly guess them to be feathers. I can still hear Rosalia screaming, they must still be dousing her with them. 

“Alright! Alright!” A voice directly in front of me commands with a speck of amusement. “Enough!”

The sound of Rosalia coughing and gasping for the air fills the alley. 

Hesitantly, I reach out in the direction of the voice. My fingers soon brush against denim. The alley falls silent as the laughter fades. I glide my fingers up the outside leg until I feel a hand resting on the belt. I rise from the ground to my knees, kneeling. My hand shakes as it slips over the knuckles and bumps against a chain hanging from the wrist. 

Riff. 

Tears start to wheel up in my eyes. “My brother was right...” I swallow hard and tilt my head up to him, knowing he’s right there. “If one of you was lying in the street bleeding, I'd walk by and spit on you!” 

“Y/N!” I hear Anita’s voice in the distance. 

“¡Oh Dios mío!” Consuelo’s voice follows. 

“Anita!” Rosalia calls. 

“¡Que alguien llame a la policía!” (Someone get the police!)

“Yo! Yo! They just said police, man!” Action shouts. 

“Shit!” Ice huffs. 

“Let’s get out of here!” Baby John panics from above. 

Rapid footsteps echo all around me in the opposite direction of Anita’s voice. My hand remains on Riff’s wrist and I wait for him for to run off with the rest.

Instead, he lowers himself to whisper in my ear. “Go to Valentina! Acetone.” 

The sound of heels vastly approaching can be heard faintly. 

“Boss!” I hear Ice shout from down the alley. 

“Remember! Acetone!” Riff repeats urgently. 

Next thing I know, he slips from my grip and down the alley with the rest of them. My hand falls to my lap and I sit back onto the ground. I struggle to catch my breath. 

“Mija!” Anita’s hands suddenly begin to wipe my face frantically. “¿Estás bien? ¡Lo siento mucho! ¡Siento no haber estado aquí!” (Are you okay? I'm so sorry! I'm sorry I wasn't here!) 

“Y/N!” Maria gasps as I feel her land at my side. 

“I can’t see!” I whale in a panic. “Please! I can’t see!” 

“I know! I know, Mija!” Anita’s voice shakes as she cups my face. “We’ll help you!” 

“Rosalia!” I gasp for air. 

“Constantina and Francisca are helping her! You’ll be okay!” She assures me. 

I cling to Anita’s arms and finally start to sob. Now that I’m with her and the Jets are gone, I feel safe enough to actually cry. 

____________________________________

Anita

I continue to brush my hand over her semi-dry hair in my lap as she starts to fall asleep, finally.

Three hours. Three hours Valentina and I were in the bathroom getting everything out of Y/N’s hair and off of her skin. Her clothes are destroyed and had to be thrown out. A pile of a dozen damp towels scatters the bathroom floor. Feathers cling to the tile walls and bathtub. It’s as though a hurricane stormed through the apartment. 

The hardest part was getting her home. If Juano’s mother didn’t force him to attend Mass he wouldn’t have been able to run to the boxing gym to get Bernardo and the others. I wasn’t about to send any of the girls to go get them, not after what happened. I couldn’t carry Y/N home. Who would’ve carried Rosalia? Bernardo and Pepe ran with Y/N and Rosalia in their arms to the apartments while the others ran to get Valentina. Y/N kept saying to tell Valentina ‘acetone’, she was frantic. We didn’t understand what that meant until Valentina understood. It took so many bottles to get everything off. 

I couldn’t breathe for a second of it.  

Immediately after, Valentina and I took her to bed to rest. Naturally, Y/N was exhausted and humiliated. 

Mi pobre angelito dulce. (My poor sweet angel)

Once I’m certain she’s asleep, I lean down and kiss her forehead. “Descansa, dulce niña.” (Rest sweet girl) 

Quietly, I sneak out of her steps out into the kitchen where Maria and Bernardo wait. He sits with his head in his hands. When he hears me enter, his head snaps up. 

“How is she?” He rushes out. 

“She’s been crying for hours.” I settle down beside him, still shaken up. He takes my hand and kisses the back of it with a slight squeeze. 

“Maria-” My voice is soft but still manages to crack as I slide the extra bottles of acetone on the table toward her. “Take the rest upstairs to Rosalia, she may need it. Thank God Valentina had enough.” 

The girl nods faintly and rises from her seat to head upstairs. Once we hear the front door click shut, Bernardo bursts. 

“I’m going to kill them!” He growls quietly to not wake Y/N. 

I clench my jaw, starring off at a distant tile on the floor. “Contact adhesive.” 

“What?” 

“It wasn’t just any glue they used,” I explain, meeting his gaze as my eyes wheel up with tears. “It was practically liquid cement! If Y/N hadn’t kept saying acetone and Valentina didn’t know what to do we would’ve had to cut off all of her hair! Do you know what that would’ve to Y/N? She already feels stuck and like an outsider here! And those boys they... they-” 

“They won’t get away with this! They won’t!” Bernardo promises as his face grows red. He flies up from his chair, causing it to slam into the counter with a thud. “I’m calling a meeting with the Sharks right now!” He rushes toward the front door. “We’re ending this!” 

“No, wait!” I plead. 

Before I have the chance to stop him, he’s already gone out the door. I weep, hiding my face in my hands. Slowly, my arms slide down to the table and I just cry into them. 

_________________________________________

RIFF

After the incident, the Jets and I gathered by at the docks. They celebrated our ‘victory.’ I put on a brave face, but all I truly wanted to do was be with Y/N. I lingered for as long as I could and did what I could to prevent severe damage. The boys wanted to use a stronger adhesive, something that would sting when in contact with skin. I couldn’t let that happen, but I also couldn’t let them suspect the truth. If they did... I would’ve lost control of them completely. 

When the coast was clear and the cops pulled back on their search for us, I disappeared from the gang. I wandered through the shadows and down alleys, avoiding major points that Sharks or cops would linger. 

Again, as I have so many nights, I find myself outside Y/N’s building. Hidden within the shadows of the alley, I peer up at her window. Her bedroom light is off but her window is wide. The sign signals me to check the roof. Sure enough, she’s curled up against the corner of the billboard. A brief speck against the red lights, but I’m certain it’s her. 

For the first time, I emerge from the shadows and jog over to the fire escape. So many times I’ve considered climbing the stairs to her window or the roof, to join her, talk to her, see the view that holds her attention every night. Cautiously, I sneak past the many windows on my journey up. I don’t doubt that all of the PRs have heard about the stunt we pulled today. The Sharks, Bernardo in particular, want our heads. 

I can’t exactly walk into his apartment, beg for forgiveness and try to convince him that I didn’t really want to do it. I wouldn’t even believe me. After all, I’m supposed to hate PRs and I’m the leader of Jets, I have the ultimate say. When I finally reach Y/N’s floor, I slip by the window beside her’s. For a moment, I catch a glimpse of Anita in the kitchen with Y/N’s little sister. I always wondered what their places looked like, how they differed from ours. Passing by Y/N’s open window, the white lace drapes flow in the breeze. A hint of moonlight creeps in and faintly illuminates the space. An outline of a desk, a shelf, and a bed. For weeks, I’ve passively imagined what her room looked like, whether she had posters or pictures on her walls. There’s no time to get a better look nor can I risk getting caught. Eagerly, I hurry up the stairs to reach the roof without gathering unwanted attention. 

Y/N

As I watch the sun disappear behind the skyscrapers, I wipe away the tears that fall down my cheeks. I’m not the first to cry over a boy, but I bet I have a few girls beat for reasoning. Betrayal is one thing, what should this be called? And to think I felt bad for him last night or when I got into a fight with Graziella. He’s the vilest human being to walk the planet. 

I feel the platform of the billboard shake briefly like someone’s climbing up. Then, I hear the rattling. I lean to the side to peer over and right when I do, I’m met with Riff. He pushes up one last step and our faces are mere inches from each other. 

I scoot back frantically and scream. “Bernar-” 

Riff lunges forward and covers my mouth. “No! No! Please!” 

“Help!” I scream into his palm then snap my head to the side, taking the chance to yell to the sky. “Help!” 

“Shh!” He panics, scrabbling to cover my mouth. 

I struggle beneath him, desperate to get him off of me. 

He grabs my wrists and forces them above my head. “Y/N, please listen!” 

“Get away from me!” I start to kick about, trying to knock him away. 

He finally lets my wrists go and sits back with a sigh. “Y/N, please-” 

Panting, I rush to my feet and start toward the ladder. 

He wraps his fingers around my wrist to stop me.  

I spin around and without a second thought, my palm flies across his cheek with a loud smack. “I hate you!” 

He winces and his hand falls from me. 

My chest rises and falls rapidly as I watch him squeeze his eyes shut in pain. He rubs his cheek. 

As the frustration and now hatred I have for him is building up inside me, I become overwhelmed by it and march up to him. I start to pound my fists into his chest, releasing weeks of torment and aggravation into him. All the pain he’s caused me, my family, my friends, for once I’m fighting back. 

“I hate you! I hate you! I hate-” I start to sob and fall into his chest. My assaults weaken into nothing. “Hate you...” 

Riff catches me in his arms and keeps me on my feet. He rests his chin on the top of my head and starts to rub my back comfortingly. 

“No!” I shove him in the chest, causing him to stumble back. “You stay away from me!” 

He reaches for me pleadingly. “Please let me explain! I didn’t have a choice!” His ocean eyes are glossy with tears on the brink of falling. 

“You had every choice!” I shout at the top of my lungs, stopping him in his tracks. “You had every choice and you chose to do nothing!” 

His features fall to despair and an ounce of me feels guilty for causing him pain, but I have to remind myself he deserves it. 

I cry, for once I allow a Jet to see me cry because of their actions. “You’re a coward! I trusted you, for a second I trusted you and immediately you hurt me!” I swallow hard, suppressing the strain in my throat. “And I hate you for it.” My voice is weak and the words become a whisper. 

“I lo-” 

Not willing to hear what he has to say, I raise my hand for him to stop. “Just go...” I mutter, between my teeth. Unafraid now and filled with the same disdain the Jets have shown me since Day One, I step toward him. He towers over me, but I don’t care. I look him dead in the eye. “And if you see me walking down the street you better cross to the other side or I swear I’ll send my brother and all of his men after you and you alone.” 

Riff clenches his jaw, peering down at me with a blank stare. For a moment we stay like this. The faint shimmer of the red letters on the billboard glowing on our skin. Silently, Riff turns and walks away, back to the ladder. 

I squeeze my hands into fists to steady the shaking. 

He glances over his shoulder, his gaze meeting mine one last time before he begins down the ladder. 

He can’t ever make this right, no matter what he says or does to make up for it. He claimed to care about me, but no one who cares for another could ever do what he’s done.  

I hate him. 

I hate him. 

I hate him. 

I’ll keep saying it until I convince myself it’s true. 

___________________________________

Masterlist

Tags:  @elarasstardust @ilovey0us0 @jin-neck-shaft @ashleysimmons  @septnephilim @sorryyoureoutofmyleague @emmamooney @puredicks @cxlpxrnia @mikefaistandarianadebosestan @i-am-fascinated @whisperofsong @livylululivy @ughkhag3yama @ameliamonster @peterporkpie @queen-ofbrooklyn @idga-fudgeicle @camirodrigo05 @chloe-ln4 @skyejaeger07 @leviedcharmed86 @newsiessimp @loverisi @shitemylife @lovinghunty @pillipot @littlebitof-life@p0emsandpe0nies @kater1naxoxo @electric-cabaret @poisxnedmind @inthemostauspiciousmanner @taylorsbackgroundnoiseenthusiast  @retrowannabe @a24aster @fl0ssi3 @vhscillian @ilovey0us0

[lee-scribbles-and-doodles]

S3 ep5

Current emotional status: FEAR

Cthulu Max has been on the rampage for a whole week!?

Ew, the narrator

Oh man, are they sending the airforce after him?

I really like Cthulu Max's design

Momma Bosco 💗

Oh hey, Norrington and Papierwaite are alive.

Superball are you saying you tried to send the Maimtrons up Max's--

Also he's acting president while Max is... deposed of.

Superball is only giving Sam until 6am :(

Featherly!

"Wandering around the moleman tunnels is no fun without Max."

"You got it all wrong, we're trying to help Max." "We will help him... to a generous serving of ass whooping."

"That is one rabbit who will be multiplied... into 2,000 smoldering pieces."

Carol ran off with Blustet

"I only want her to be happy, is all." Aw, Curt

Superball just admitted to having separation anxiety from Max

Ok Momma can't come but Papierwaite and Norringron can.

I like Norrington :)

GASP

Is it?

It is!

SYBIL!!!!

RETURN OF THE QUEEN

Oh, she is very pregnant

She was a wizard at one point?

She's gonna help!

Superball there's no such thing as acceptable losses

Abe has his body back

"Four score and seven tons of raw power"

HE CAN FLY NOW!?

Sybil, I love you, but why did you mod someone else's car???

Grandpa Stinky I love you

Oh, he just handed us the recipe for once.

Asdfff the spore maxes swarming Grandpa

They stole Grandpa's hotdogs

"We must feed the host! Piglets and sphinkters make us stronger!" "We regret nothing!"

Grandpa hasn't slept in three years

Sam just casually taking the last of Grandpa's corndogs

The spores are trying to get it

Lol Sam slapped them

Sal's alive!

He's hiding from Sam :(

Lol we can control Cthulu Max with Corndogs

Ew, the cornstarch got mixed in with the giant puddle 🤢 Looks gross

Love how Sybil completely ignores the Flaming Max head

Also the look of disappointment on the spore's face made me laugh

Fifth trimester???

The way the one Max spore by Grandpa's truck is bobbing in circles with his mouth open is making me laugh.

Sam showing concern for Sybil because she’s preggers 🥺

Her being pregnant with Abe's child implies that statues have working genital in this universe

She put a weiner scented airfreshener in the desoto

At least Sam and a Max spore seem to like that (of course they do)

"Sybil you're the best!" Hell yeah she is!

Sam's mind went to the color bar codes to prevent being traumatized by Sybil's oversharing

We drowned the desoto

Asdfgh Sam just botched slapped one of the spores for trying to say "that's none of your damn buisness."

Ew, Max's spine is pointing out

Oh hey, Satan and Jurgen

Why is Jurgen wearing his old fashioned clothes instead of his emo clothes?

Lol Sam snuck into frame to shout "Go Mets! New York rules!"

"--besides it's just a good and noble thing to do." "You're not familiar with my previous work, are you?"

"Sam, what happened to you to make you so cynical?" Gee, Jurgen, I wonder what could have possibly happened.

Oh so the water tower counts as vegetable oil because Momma did something to it

Pfft we can replace Satan's microphone with a corndog

Omg they jumped off the building to avoid Max

Oh, they're fine, and the oil is in the giant puddle.

I'm thankful to Featherly for giving us an egg but I'd have preferred not to watch him lay it. Granted it was just in a cartoon way but he still made weird noises

Also TRANS FEATHERLY 2021

"I desperately wanted to see that, sir. Ask him if he'll lay another one."

Oh hey, the Flaming Max heads helped heat up the giant desoto corndog

Since I'm playing this in 2021 the Maimtron's song references are super dated, which defeats Superball's efforts

Oooh! A unique opening sequence???

Oh this music is jazzy af

Sam really doesn't like the Max spores

Sam how do you already know what Max's insides look like???

"Even when he's not a collasal monster Max's food comas can last for weeks."

Ok we wake Max up with the coffee beans, right?

Yup!

The gi Max spore is so sad he doesn't get to come 😢

"But I'm a horrible monster!"

"I suppose Max's brain always looks like a living room?" "Well, Max is host to all kinds of weird parasites, and he likes to he a good host!" WHAT

No really, this brings up so many questions about lagomorphs. Are they some kind of Symbiote or something?

And a previous episode confirmed Max is amphibious

Max has tumors!!!

It shocked Sam!

"Eugh! Get away fake Max!" "Do you find my warmth... alarming, Sam?"

"What do nightmares taste like, anyway?" "Pepsi"

Max wants to be author 💗

He also writes fanfiction about Flint 🤣

I'd unironically read his books.

Tina Belcher voice: Friend fiction

Max has an experimental fusion jazz band???

"He just killed a great white shark--"

Max being completely unable to describe a woman is very gay of him. Good for him.

Max's brain teleported everyone to different parts of the body.

Found Sybil in the gym/legs

The brain is broadcasting Sam's thoughts???

Sam couldn't think of a joke for the medicine balls :(

"Wow Max is looking pretty buff. Would it be too weird if I asked him to turn around?"

Sam! Stop thinking bad things about Sybil's pregnancy she can hear you you putz!

She's upset with him now

"Can you believe this guy?" "I find the entire situation to be very contrived and misogynistic." Same spore Max, same.

Sam stop being so mean omg!

"I changed Sybil, I totally get the whole parenthood thing now." "Really now?" "Tax deductions."

In Max's inventory now

Y'know, I never really thought about it as a storage house

Hit The Road reference :3

Baby roach hatched in

"Pa..papa?" "Now I am little champion, now I am!"

Max has a Maximus shrine

Sam turned into a roomba!

Aw, he named it Sam Jr 🥺

We won Sybil back through his love of Sam Jr

Found the conjoined twins

Huh, Max lost as eye. Does that mean he has a glass one, or do lagomorphs have regenerative abilities?

Pfft we have to play twister to control his arma

The brain is messing with things again

Oh, we need a roach to operate the game because of radiation

Well, let's kidnap Sal

Oh, poor Girl Stinky. She's really going through it

Aw, Sal feels bad

Sal?

Honey, are alright?

He's dying???

He's not immune to irradiation!?

Oh no, he's gone

I'm so sad 😞

Gotta pick up Sam Jr. Before I control Max

They mad Max do a magical girl pose

Ugh the narrator is back

Wait, what?

He's Max's brain??? SUPEREGO???

WHAT

"I was always ignored" Yo if my super ego was as pretentious as you I 'd ignore it too 😤

He wants to kill himself and Max???

I know Max had a self loathing complex but holy shit

The super ego is perfectly fine with destroying half the east coast what a jerk

Just noticed Sam's tie is red. Had no idea about this while drawing PI!Sam lol

We have to help Max get his memories back to use the ASTRO projector

Skunkapes has three Sam clones imprisoned

Sam had canon ocd?

Gasp Gordon???

No, it's Sammun Mak

I love him, little child tyrant

Just make him a mobile brain in a jar and let Sam and Max adopt him

Why is Grandpa here?

He isn't talking like Stinky

Too polite

Sam sees it too

He's a space gorilla

They switched brains?

Found the cloning g chamber

Let's go to Momma's first

CONE OF SHAME CONE OF SHAME CONE OF SHAME

Superball is "wracked with guilt"

"Keep it together Superball. Sam will be able to save the day. He always does."

Ok, let's go to the cloning facility

I'm still thinking about poor Sal yo

FLIIIIIINT!

He's punching space apes!

Girl Stinky really playing up the evil Mistress role

The doggleganger has a bomb on him!!!

Wait so Girl really is a mermaid??? I thought that was just her aestetic

God I love Flint

Haha we tricked Skunkape with scooby doo villain tactics

Got the robot

Her water broke... and it was pennies

Max wants to save Sybil! 😭🥺💕

Super Ego is here

Oh now he wants to save Max

The only thing here are those records

Super Ego waved goodbye

Cthulu Max is cute when he cries

Wait What?

His head is on fire!

The maimtron hit him!

He waved goodbye... and teleported away.

He exploaded!!!!

He promised he'd take Sam with him and he didn't!!!!

AAAAAAH

I thought the dead Max thing was popular angst fanon fic thingy!

We're cloning Max?

It didn't work 😭😭😭😭😭

Superball ran off crying

Oh God the credits are just Sam walking sadly what the hell

He's not even stopping to fight any crime 😢

💔💔💔

God the way he's clinging to himself

What?

The elevator???

MAAAAX

he's back???

Past Max???

He blew his Sam up???

Wait hold on I'm glad they're together again but this doesn't fix anything

There's so much trauma from this season

All the horrible things that happened during 301-304 happened in like 3 days tops, then Sam had to deal with Max being a monster for a week before watching him die!

And the new (?) Max had BLOW HIS SAM UP!!!

And they left the franchise like that for a decade????

What the hell?

I want to be happy but this shit is going to consume my brain for the next week at least what the hell

Aaaaaaah!

Like maybe they really do just brush it off but it feels unlikely

I know Max has a connection with his other selves so it'll be easier for him to adjust but certainly Sam is going to notice the discrepancies since he doesn't get the same deal

Someone told me there were multiple endings hold on

Aw, they walked off into the sunrise together

But still

AAAAAAAAH

[moaserendipity]

We are almost 6 months in 2021 now and I have been enjoying a lot of BL drama’s I just haven’t been writing any reviews. So let me name a couple of my favorite BL drama’s so far.

1. Tale of a Thousand Stars

This is definitely my favorite so far this year. I fell in love with the story, the male leads, the kids and even the friends. I read the novel and I love that they didn’t change that much! Also the chemistry between Earth and Mix was seriously amazing. They had me wrapped around their fingers for sure and usually the story gets a bit boring in the middle but this time there was not one full moment. I laughed, cried and screamed watching these episodes and even though the ending was good and well rounded, I seriously just wanted more!

Also can we talk about Mix for just absolutely second?! Because where have GMMTV been hiding him because W.O.W this man is stunningly handsome and when he smiles it’s like I am melting every single time.

Anyway ahum I am giving this drama a 10/10

2. fighting mr. 2nd

The sequel I needed badly! Did it disappoint god no! These two have such amazing chemistry that I got pulled in every time they got close. And that one scene where Gao Shi De was drunk and poured his heart out broke me. That was seriously intense and the way Zhou Shi Yu gave him a second chance was the best thing ever!

Not to forget about the side couple, which I need to know more about because well they are interesting🥰

The storyline wasn’t complicated or that original BUT it didn’t matter because the acting was amazing and it made me long for more!

So if I have to give this a rating it would get an 9.8/10

3. Lovely writer

Now I seriously was excited about this one from the moment I saw the trailer!! And I loved every single moment of it. I loved how it sometimes mocked the BL industry and Kao & Up are an amazing duo. I have to say that I was so happy to see Kao playing this character after UWMA because this suits him so much better.

Again the chemistry between them was awesome and I don’t know how many times I felt super single, when I am not, while watching them together. Like how is that possible but I want what they have lol.

I don’t think there was anything that bothered me much with this drama except for Aey, I mean damn he was annoying but I feel like they could’ve done more with him but well🤷‍♀️

Also the last episode made me feel attacked especially near the end, you’ll know what I’m talking about when you see it, won’t give spoilers😎

I will give this a 9.5/10

4. Manner of Death

Ah the thriller in this small list. This was a rollercoaster that made you sit on the edge of your chair every single episode. Now I feel like I don’t really need to talk about Max & Tul because who doesn’t know them. They are the BL kings!

I read the novel which usually is t a good thing before you watch a drama but I loved that they did not change THAT much. Max & Tul were definitely the best pick for this drama, also can I just say that their acting has improved so much and I just loved it.

Also how fresh was this drama! Like finally no uni storyline but an adult one! It’s exactly what I wanted!

I will give this a 8.7/10

5. To My Star

This is definitely my favorite Korean drama so far. This was amazing. I loved the storyline and it was nice that they did not really rushed it even though the episodes were again way too short. I loved the chemistry between the male leads.

The way you saw them fall for each other and the way one of them tried to ignore those feelings. I am happy it ended well because I was seriously rooting for them. I loved that they were close behind the scenes as well.

The only reason this one is not higher on the list is because of the shortness.

So I’ll give this a 8/10

6. Tonhon Chonlatee

This on started in 2020 but ended in 2021 so that’s why it’s on here!! This was the light drama we needed seeing as at the same time we got Tharntype. But yeah I laughed so hard every episode & not that but sometimes I even yelled at Tonhon for being a straight up idiot.

The way to Tonhon admitting he loves Chonlatee was a long one and I felt sorry for the second male lead because he was being used to make him realise he liked chonlatee but that made certain things a lot funnier! I loved the chemistry again between the male leads and I definitely wanted more after it ended!! Also give it up to my favorite side couple Ai & Ni, they really should get their own drama!!

I’ll give this a 7.9/10

7. Gen y

Gen Y was something every confusing but also something likeable?🤔 I mean I loved the storyline between Kit & Mark. It was nice to see how Kit finally opened up to Mark and started to love him back, I did feel frustrated at Kit because he did not speak his mind but felt happy when he finally did. Also those scenes between them!! 👍

Then we get to Wayu, Thanu & Phai, this was one confusing storyline, like wtf was that between Thanu and Phai? Where are this premonitions coming from and what does it mean? Like this drama isn’t paranormal right🤔 also I know a lot of fans want Wayu together with Phi but I don’t not after what he did and also the chemistry between Wayu and Thanu is really good! I am curious to see what will happen to them.

Then we get to the last couple, which frustrated the hell out of me! Pok and Tong.... what was happening between them and why did they end up hating each other to having sex with each other🤔 and what is this that they refuse to kiss each other nonsense, so yeah I liked the drama but I was either happy or frustrated😂

This will be a 7/10 for me

8. You make me dance

You make me dance was cute but also a bit heavier then usual. Especially for the dancer because his mom literally left him alone to fend for himself which made him take out loans with loan sharks and the only good thing that came out of it was he fell in love with his loan shark.

I loved them, they were cute, clingy but again way too short because this one was definitely rushed, which was sad. Also when they shoot this in the middle of the winter maybe next time the production staff could at least turn on some heaters? Like I felt cold while watching them!

Anyway a 6.9/10

9. HIstory4; Close to you

Ah yes this one... I will start to say that this one made me uncomfortable at times, also certain tropes were being used that not everyone will appreciate. I for myself liked this drama but also not. If you have watched it, you know that one of the couples are stepbrothers. Now tbh if they hadn’t grown up together it might’ve been easier to watch but seeing as they grew up together it was hard to look passed it especially since they continuously reminded us about it. Also sex without proper consent, I do have to say here that even though he was drunk Xing Si did recognize Yong Jjie so I don’t think it’s right but that’s the only excuse I can find for it🤔 other then that I thought they were cute.

Then the second couple I loved them, the way they fell for each other could’ve been better but yeah I loved them. lichen and Muren completed each other the only scene that got me uncomfortable as when Lichen was dreaming about Muren. But other then that I loved their chemistry!!

Also the cameo of one really amazing couple made up for a lot. I won’t spoil anything but yeah that was satisfying

But because this one made me feel uncomfortable a lot of times I will give it a 6.7/10

10. Second Chance

Second chance, well was short but likeable. I loved the chemistry between the male leads and they made me feel like they were already in a relationship so when that thing happened and one of them suddenly took his distance I was surprised because well, yeah I just didn’t expect him to be like that. But yeah this drama was a short one sadly enough so that’s why it’s not high on the list because I wanted more.

I’ll give this a 6.5/10 and not because it was bad but because it was way too short and sometimes I did not get was was going on.

[winnipegpatty]

hockey is still not for everyone

putting this under a cut cus it’s going to be long.

the latest news from the HDA, basically confirming what we already knew, that the NHL will not be signing their pledge that they asked them to back in, i think, June. the HDA will continue to work separately from the NHL.

so, this really fucking sucks, honestly. it’s not surprising in the least bit, but i’m still not ready to just give up.

first off. here’ a reminder of the HDA’s Pledge, and here’s where you can buy their merch (they now have Ally merch as well which is cool), and here’s where you can make direct donations if you’d like. 

that being said, i’d like to take a moment to look at the NHL’s own initiative “hockey is for everyone” so here’s what hockey is for everyone is SUPPOSED to do:

“Across the league throughout the year, the NHL and NHLPA work to provide the sport in a positive environment for players, families and fans of every race, colour, religion, national origin, gender, age, sexual orientation, socio-economic status and for those with disabilities.”

Each NHL team has a hockey is for everyone ambassador who “All have pledged to be leaders in the locker room and in the community” Well, I think it’s pretty clear most, if not all of these ambassadors aren’t doing shit. So who are they? It’s probably important we know, at least I think it is. These are the guys in EACH team who have specifically said they’re going to set a standard, so they should be held accountable for that standard.

Anaheim Ducks - John Gibson

Arizona Coyotes - Oliver Ekman Larsson (may likely be traded)

Boston Bruins - Brad Marchand

Buffalo Sabres - Brandon Montour

Calgary Flames - Austin Czarnik

Carolina Hurricanes - Trevor van Riemsdyk

Chicago Blackhawks - Connor Murphy

Colorado Avalanche - Colin Wilson (this guy is barely even on the team)

Columbus Blue Jackets - Seth Jones

Dallas Stars - John Klingberg

Detroit Red Wings - Justin Abdelkader

Edmonton Oilers - Jujhar Khaira

Florida Panthers - Frank Vatrano

Los Angeles Kings - Tyler Toffoli

Minnesota Wild - Currently no one

Montreal Canadiens - Max Domi (welp, not anymore lol)

Nashville Predators - Currently no one

New Jersey Devils - Currently no one

NY Islanders - Matt Martin

NY Rangers - Mika Zibanejad

Ottawa Senators - Mark Borowiecki

Philadelphia Flyers - Scott Laughton/Travis Konecny (unclear who is current)

Pittsburgh Penguins - Matt Murray (rip, not anymore) 

San Jose Sharks - Evander Kane

St. Louis Blues - Ryan O'Reilly

Tampa Bay Lightning - Mathieu Joseph 

Toronto Maple Leafs - Zach Hyman

Vancouver Canucks - Alex Edler

Vegas Golden Knights - Brayden McNabb

Washington Capitals - Braden Holtby

Winnipeg Jets - Nikolaj Ehlers

Let’s note a couple things:

1. 5 of 31 teams don’t even have a representative (two because of trades, but three didn’t have one during last season)

2. Some of these guys (Seth Jones and Max Domi and Brad Marchand for instance) are terrible humans that clearly don’t uphold this standard anywhere, much less in the locker room or on the ice

3. Evander Kane, while a cofound of HDA himself, is also a terrible human who have harassed women and actively hate women of color. 

4. Many of these guys were inside of the bubble, yet still had to be prompted by people like Ryan Reeves to act to strike games for two days. 

What’s the point of pointing all this out? Really, just to show you how much of a joke this “hockey is for everyone” initiative is. It’s clearly not something the NHL takes seriously, or something most of these guys take seriously. Pride nights are cool, and support of pride or of POC players is all fine and dandy if they’re actually backed up with actions, and as we clearly see both through their empty performative allyship within the bubble and in their lack of support of the HDA pledge, there are no actions to back up this initiative. None that are going to radically change the racism that is built within this sport at least. 

Unfortunately, I was unable to find a way to directly contact local teams (like through email or something) so if you know of a way to do so, please let me know. Ultimately the only way the NHL is going to change anything is by hearing it from the fans. We are a minority of people here on hockeyblr that want to see a difference happen, and it’s sad but it’s true. The only way we’re going to see change is if we’re heard. 

While I DO NOT advocate you going and harassing the above players, I linked their twitter profiles (if available AND if they are active) so that you could KINDLY express support of the HDA Pledge and ask that, as the Hockey Is For Everyone Ambassador of their team, they’d begin to put pressure on the NHL to accept and implement this pledge. It’s really the only way I see something change, is if players within the league start pressing for it to happen. ESPECIALLY if you are a white player, PLEASE reach out. If you have a local team, try and call them or email them, or reach out via social medias of the team as well. 

MAKE. THEM. HEAR. YOU.

[laufire]

Black Sails

Top 5 favourite characters: Max, Silver, Jack, Madi, and Flint.

Other characters you like: Mr. Scott, Anne, Miranda, Idelle, Eleanor, Billy, Eme, the Maroon Queen, Featherstone, Ms. Guthrie, Muldoon, DeGroot...

Least favourite characters: Rogers, Ashe, Alfred Hamilton and Richard Guthrie are my Most Disliked People lol. Dufresne and Hornigold can suck it too xD

Otps: Silverflintmadi, Flintmiranda, Maxanne + Rackanne, Maxanor. Don’t ask me to choose lol.

Notps: Eleanor/Rogers, Silver/Thomas. Though not with the ~passion I dislike other notps of mine -I just find the first depressing in canon and the latter tiresome in fanon *shrugs*.

Favourite friendships: Silver & Max & Jack; Silver & the Walrus crew (THE LOVE THERE), Idelle & Max.

Favourite family: Madi’s family >>>>>>>>. It’s not like there’s many options to choose from lmao, but even if there was, I’d still pick them. What a gr10 reversal of one of most hated tropes *-* (aka: having a character of color save or prioritize a white character at the expense of their own relatives, to the point where sometimes it even costs them their lives).

Favourite episodes: this is one of the shows I have most difficulty picking favourite episodes tbh. Every one in s4 (I still haven’t watched the finale... I should stop putting that off lol) has hit me where I live. Same with s3, really. s1 and s2 were less !!!!! but I’ve never disliked a single episode, so. Choices, choices. To pick one of each so far (minus s4 since I haven’t completed it): 1x03 (probably a... controversial choice, but it’s when I knew the show was something else), 2x10 (I love having my heart broken and this episode provided that. And I love seeing Max & co-winning and I got that too!), and 3x05 (the Silverflint!! Madi’s family!! Flint & The Maroon Queen’s scene! Flint’s visions! Max forcing Rogers to make a place for her on the council!! Max’s “I AM Nassau”!! Spoken Spanish that didn’t make my ears bleed!!!).

Favourite season/book/movie: s4. Each episode has been just. too much xD. So thematically perfect. I hope the finale feels like that too.

Favourite quotes: oof. How to choose. Max’s quote about refusing to make enemies of those one day she could call friends; her rant about Rogers sitting “in [her] fucking chair!!”; her speech to Anne in 4x08; Silver’s “I am no one from nowhere” quote; Madi’s about the “multitude of voices”; Jack’s “did I make up a lot of ground to catch you” speech; Flint’s “no daylight between you and I” (WHO SAYS THAT. IN *PUBLIC*. I swear it’s somehow the most indecent moment of the show. It overwhelms me xDD); Idelle’s quote about Max when she confronts Anne; Mr. Scott’s “only YOU” to Madi. I’d say those are my ultimate favourites.

Best musical moment: the intro. I love it.

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: Silver and Max’s interacting again in s4 made me lose it. Also, that Look between Max and Flint and Jack confirming later Flint had argued to kill her so she wouldn’t fuck with their plans anymore lmao.

When it really disappointed you: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Saddest moment: me at the progressive erosion of Silverflint’s relationship -> DDD:

Most well-done character death: Eleanor’s, I’d say.

Favourite guest star: Idek what I’d count as guest star with this show... I’m going with Idelle. If she appears too much to be considered a “guest”, the Maroon Queen.

Favourite cast member: JPK. She blends so, so well with her roles? Sometimes I have an incredibly hard time remembering Max and Nora West-Allen are played by the same person, ngl xD

Character you wish was still alive: both Miranda and Mr. Scott, though the latter has an edge because I have the NEED of knowing how he would’ve acted if he was in s4.

One thing you hope really happens: that I get the time I need to finish my WIPs and that NO ONE, EVER, tries to do a spin-off/remake/ANYTHING like that with it xD

Most shocking twist: Mr. Scott’s reveal in 3x04, if only because it was one of the few major things I wasn’t spoiled at all about xD. But I love how it changes your perspective of his s1-2 storylines.

When did you start watching/reading?: a few months ago.

Best animal/creature: ... sharks xD. We owe them so much (if Silver’s parrot was canon here, well).

Favourite location: Nassau (aka Max’s Domain).

Trope you wish they would stop using: n/a. I love this show’s tropes and themes lol.

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: lots of stuff xD. Dialogue is one; deviating from expectations and archetypes is another.

Funniest moments: WHO’S BILLY. The Silverflintbones pseudo-triangle xD. Silver’s s1 antics.

Couple you would like to see: *coughs* I could’ve coped with Silverflintmadi going all the way xD

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: Maggie Smith should’ve had a cameo ¬¬

Favourite outfit: one?!? Have you SEEN everything Max’s worn in season four?? Or Eleanor in s1-2?? Jack’s Iconique Looks?? *sighs* I suppose I have a soft spot for Max wearing red, so that.

Favourite item: “La Galatea”, the book Flint gave to Miranda as an apology. My heart :((( (not to mention it reminds me to my own original WIPs).

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: ................ the DVDs xD. They were a little over 20 bucks total and I gave them to myself for my birthday lol (I just don’t trust Netflix anymore and I don’t want to lose easy access to a HQ version the show, so fork it). I own the Treasure Planet DVD (which came along with a computer game), but I have no idea of where I put it. And I have a copy of Treasure Island ofc (that I want to re-read when I finish the show).

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: my heart is with Flintmadi’s cause but my brain and need to win with Max’s team xD

Most boring plotline: eh. I didn’t much care for Blackbeard’s deal (though I felt for his death, because it was so fucking awful).

Most laughably bad moment: n/a.

Best flashback/flashforward if any: The Sword Flirting Sparring flashbacks ofc *-*

Most layered character: Flint and Silver ofc.

Most one-dimensional character: the one-note characters that are just there at plot devices. And of those with a little more relevance to our mains, Thomas is the least expanded-on by far *shrugs* (which doesn’t mean “poorly written”).

Scariest moment: Silver’s state when he thought he lost Madi. No wonder Flint was so worried tbh.

Grossest moment: putting aside the physically gross moments (of which this show has a few, lbr. It did not shy away from injuries, etc.)... I had my most visceral reaction to Rogers speaking with Madi. Like, fuck off dude xD. ALSO: Billy’s beard. Kill it pls.

Best looking male: Joshua was a dork and a cutie. Flint is so not my type but there are... moments xD. Same with Silver when he’s in a shippy context, even if normally I’m all ??? at his face lol.

Best looking female: now this one is a lot harder xDD. I always end up saying Max because... have you seen her. They style her so lovingly *-*. But really, which of these women isn’t absolutely gorgeous in their unique way.

Who you’re crushing on (if any): Anne. She reminds me of my ~first love lol (looks-wise at least xD). And I know I’d be drawn to her...  sunny disposition lmao.

Favourite cast moment: in my lurking over blogs to add stuff in the queue, I saw twitter exchange where Silver’s actor says Silver’s actions against Billy were revenge for the potatoes xD, and Billy’s replied he should’ve made him peel carrots, since he “likes their colouring”. LMFAO.

Favourite transportation: the Walrus, obviously. I’m sentimental :(

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): Charlestown in flames was hella pretty :))))))

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: n/a.

Best promo: I’ve seen a promo picture for s3 with Flint standing over a giant British flag on fire... very evocative.

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: 1x03. I liked the previous episodes alone, but it was Max’s insistence of rejecting Eleanor’s help that took it over the edge. I’ve said before that although it made things harder for her in the short term, to me it showed how different and impressive a character it was and, knowing that things would go really well for her afterwards, made me see just how much promise the show had.

[scribblindown]

What the Chocobros do when their S/O is on a long vacation

Noctis: 

When you tell him that you’re going on vacation for longer than a month, he doesn’t think much about it. He’s just like eh, alright. 

Even when he realizes that he won’t be able to see you for an entire month, he attempts to act nonchalant about it, but he’s really not. 

When your plane ride ends up being longer than you predicted, and Noctis sees that you’re not texting him back he will automatically assume the worst. 

“What if the plane crashed?? What if they met someone else on the plane?? WhAT IF THE NIFS GOT THEM???” 

When you finally text him that you got out of the plane he will go through a series of victory dances, cheers, and flailing around in his room before replying with a, “k.” 

If he thought it was bad, actually being without you was more worse than he originally thought. 

He tries to call you every day. 

“Noct, isn’t it like three in the morning over there?” 

Will legitimately pull the prince card, buy a ticket, and go to you just to see you again, until Ignis holds him back and tells Gladio to hit some sense into him. 

When it’s time to pick you up from the airport, Noctis would be there four hours before your arrival time and the moment he sees you, he doesn’t say anything, just tackles you down then and there. 

For the next week he’ll legitimately never leave your side. Even if you go to the bathroom he’ll either be outside the door or in there with you. 

Prompto: 

Separation anxiety to the max. 

Will legitimately cry when he sees you off at the airport. 

Like an abandoned puppy for the entire month or so. He acts so dramatically that your mutual friends will text you and be like, “Hey, are you dead? Your boyfriend was crying your name the other day...” 

Everything he sees will remind you of him. He’ll either start crying or snapping pictures of it. 

“Hey, Prompto, Ignis made roasted corn, want some?”  [Starts crying] “[Name] loved corn!!” 

Prompto wears all black not because he’s a Lucian, but because he’s mourning for you. 

You like to keep him updated on your trip with random pictures that you’d like to share with him or things that made you think of him, and he just gets so happy when he sees these, because they’re for him and no one else. 

Even if you are in a widely different timezone. You can text Prompto and it can be three in the morning, but his eyes with flash open at the sound of your text tone. 

Sends you the crying Snapchat filter with the text, “Missing you!!” every day. 

Noctis has to work double time to distract Prompto or else Prompto will die of dehydration from all the crying he does. 

Do you know those videos of army families reuniting in the airport? 

That’s how Prompto reacts when he sees you. 

Has flowers, chocolates, a poster, and enough tears to fill any river. 

Ignis: 

Probably the most well put together out of the Chocobros. But that’s not by much. 

Takes the news of you going on vacation normally, but once you’re at the airport to depart, Ignis will give you a long-winded speech about how much he’ll miss you. 

He’s pretty normal for the most part. 

He doesn’t act differently, and he still does his duties to Noctis as perfectly as possible. However, the moment he gets some leisure time, he’ll see something out of place and be like, “Oh, [Name] wouldn’t like that,” or, “I should tidy up the place for their return.” 

He ends up cleaning the whole apartment. 

He eventually runs out things to clean, so he’ll do obscure things like polish firewood or spray the outdoors with air freshener in scents like “fresh air,” because “Insomnia air doesn’t smell enough like air.” 

When you’re on vacation, he might send you texts of things like, “Remember to wear your sunblock,” or, “Don’t forget your hotel key when you leave.” 

Ignis wants excuses to talk to you, but he doesn’t want to seem needy like Prompto, so he’ll reply to all of your pictures that you send him with very mom-like comments. 

It gets so old that you end up taking pictures in shark-infested waters or on dangerous mountain hikes just to rile him up. 

But other than that, talking to him is very soothing. You’ll call him at the end of your day, and it helps you unwind because you get to hear his voice while recollecting everything that happened that day. 

Personally picks you up from the airport, but the moment you two see each other he’ll hug and kiss you. 

“Uh, Iggy? You can let go now.”  “A little while longer, dear, I missed you very much.” 

Gladio: 

The only guy that’s jokingly like, “LOL, hell yea! A month without the ball and chain!” Which makes you punch him in the stomach. 

Is very casual about it, and when he texts you it doesn’t seem like he’s missing you too terribly. 

However, Iris texts you regularly too and tells you the truth of how Gladdy is really like a teenage girl missing her boyfriend. 

Tries to bury himself in training to get his mind off of you. Even when Nyx invites him out to bars and stuff, Gladio will just sit in the corner and text you like a sulky teen. 

The month makes him question his sanity without you. 

You don’t really know what’s going on, Iris just randomly texts you messages like, “Lol, Gladdy fucked up,” throughout your trip without an explanation behind them. 

He legitimately eats nothing but cup noodles the entire time. Even when Ignis cooks him something, he’ll just sulkily turn around and slurp his noodles. 

You get him souvenirs in form of strange cup noddle flavors or camping gear. 

Gets very sexually frustrated without you, but you’re too tired at the end of the day to do anything about it. 

Once you’re at the airport and you get your stuff off the baggage carousel, you’ll call Gladio to pick you up. 

“I got it, I got it, I’m already in the airport—” And you’ll complain about how he’s late, but then you get interrupted when he whistles. “Hold on a second, I’m looking at the hottest person I’ve ever seen right now—” 

“Gladiolus Amicitia, are you hitting on someone else—?!” 

 But then strong arms wrap around you and you smell that familiar mix of cologne and musk, and your heart just swells. 

He leans down to whisper in your ear about exactly how he’s going to show you that he missed you dearly. 

[megamanxfanfics]

Did the Risk pay off?

Did you enjoy my little April Fool’s Joke? Did anyone even notice it??

Sorry about that. It’s not usually like me to joke like that, but the reason I did so was because its probably the last time I’d have the opportunity to ever pull an April Fool’s Prank about this project again.  That is to say, I am very confident that by next April Fool’s Day - 2022, I’ll be long done with Season VI.

It’s a little sad to say that, but mostly triumphant on my end. There was a little truth in that 4/1 post. I Did go on a Marvel bend and rewatch the entire MCU for funzies, and I was taking a long ass time on getting out Ep. 13, but believe me. I wasn’t over or burnt out from X at all.  I just needed a little time to figure out how to execute what I wanted to do properly.  I’m mostly satisfied with the turnout. =D

For those of you who haven’t read S. VI - Ep. 13 yet, I highly suggest you do so, because there will be Massive Spoilers ahead.  Since the tail end of Ep. 11, I set X up for a risky fanficky side-adventure.  And now that I’ve committed to it and it’s officially out there, the only question that’s left to ask is... Did the risk pay off??

First, I guess I should admit that my planning for the 2nd Arc was always hazy, even after finishing up Ep. 7, when X defeated the Nightmare Zero.

I knew in Ep. 8, we were going to have a lot of Zero getting reacquainted with the gang and that I was going to have to resolve the plot hole of X5′s Bad Ending, lining up with the way he acts in X6 - as a Zero fanboy.  So the returning Memory thing factored in big time.

Ep. 9 was Zero’s first mission out while X recovered.  My plan was to always have X get in that portal and face Dynamo.  But what would come after was a giant mystery to me.  

I didn’t want X to keep bumping into to Dynamo every time he got in a portal.  And I also didn’t want him to keep bumping into High Max either.  All of High Max’s dialogue and interactions thus far indicated that he wants X dead, and based off of the rules I set up for the Portal Dimensions, X couldn’t just leave in the middle of a fight.  That’s also not his style.

So in a way, I kind of wrote myself into a hole.  I’d either have to end High Max early, (which I didn’t want to do), or I’d have to get creative.

Then something clicked out of nowhere.  Something that could be very Nostalgic and Special, but would it work??  When X gets to the Fire Portal, he could face a Nightmare Vile from X1.  Then in the next portals, he could face Nightmare versions of his other bullies from the rest of the games. X2 - Violen & Agile, X3 - Bit & Byte, X4 - Double...  It could be great!  But what purpose would it serve other than Fan Service?

It’s a great question that I’m still asking, but ultimately - my alternative was to have X face High Max prematurely and lose [where it would be very hard to have High Max spare him.] Or to have X prematurely defeat High Max, which again I really didn’t want to do.  And Dynamo was way too injured to just keep taking beatings from X.  That’d get very boring and annoying very fast.

So I went for it.  It took 2 episodes to get there, but in Ep. 11 X took on Nightmare Vile...  And honestly, I thought it was great!  While he was doing that, Zero was facing Blaze Phoenix, which was equally exciting to me.

Honestly, in Ep. 12, I wanted to get right to it and call that one Nightmare Lane, but X & Zero needed to recover and I already had planned on them talking everything out, which I was putting off again and again.  That episode named itself once their conversation about X5′s encounter in Antarctica really got going.  I also really kinda loved that ending with X’s failure in the Inami Temple portal.

This set us up for Ep. 13, which I wanted to be an Action-Packed showstopper. So that was the plan all along for this episode, once I committed to the Nostalgic Nightmare idea.  My goal was for X to get to Double, and I made it there. It worked out.  But this is admittedly a very dense chapter.

Part of the point of these Nostalgic Nightmares is to show X’s growth after all this time.  He’s been whining and complaining this whole time about how the Nightmare is too tough, but guess what? He’s already so much stronger than he ever was to previous threats like Vile, the X-Hunters, the Nightmare Police & Double.  I felt like this could be a much-needed confidence booster for him, but also serve as a dual purpose for the bad guys to wear him down, psychologically.  Any excuse I can have to make the villains banter, I’ll also take.  I really like how this is all build up to Metal Shark, but will it pay off is the question?  Will I be able to stick that landing?  Time will tell.

I'm looking forward to writing Ep. 14. Honestly, I wanted to have a whole fight with Double and then some aftermath planned as the true closer to Ep. 13, but upon rereading, it was already dense enough.  [Frankly, it probably could’ve ended when Zero was about to set off to the North Pole Area, but that’s fine.]

Also, I really surprised myself with how good X’s meet up with Phantom was. [His Rescue Reploid name in the game was the ONLY reason for these MMZ Easter eggs.] But now I’m so happy that I’ve been including them, because I’m feeling a bigger picture coming about for when I end this Season.

Levy was just this flirty inclusion to spice up the Alia & X dialogue at first. Anything else with her would be a bonus. Fef became a very necessary device to keep Hal & Kassy safe, while they’ve been stranded in the Magma Area for so long.  Making him a junkie derelict was an interesting choice too. And of course, Phantom was in the Portal at the Central Museum revisit.  I always had this vague sense in my mind that X was going to have a very harrowing rescue mission that kept failing at every revisit, but then he’d bump into Phantom who was holding his own and he’d get this giant sense of hope. Boom. Grainy Effect. Episode ending right there on Phantom.

But of course, in execution that couldn’t happen with the rest that I had planned and that’s fine.  Still, I was surprised at their dialogue with each other. Phantom was really impressive and cool.  Just the premise of this exhausted warrior, whose resigned himself to protecting himself for days, only to bump into X and consider him a fool for getting stuck here with him.

But no. Now, Double has entered the Portal.  And X knows there’s a way out.

[I also never thought about the fact that Phantom would be stuck in the room with him during the fight, so now I’ve got some thinking to do.] lol

Harpy’s save will be next and I don’t mind spoiling that he’ll be in the Recycle Area.  [I did my best to keep to their elements, but the X6 stages didn’t really lend for that.]

Phantom was always gonna be in the Central Museum, because that is game-dictated. Levy could’ve been in the North Pole, I suppose, but the Inami Temple is ridden with females, so it made the most sense to me to make that her domain. Fef being in the Magma Area was spot on. I love that it was his old hangout spot - Dark Haven.  So teen-angsty/broody.

Harpy being in the Recycle Lab is kind of just a circumstance thing, but we’ll talk about it when we get there.

I wanted to go over the writing process to this one, but this is already getting quite lengthy.  I guess I can say that it was straight forward, writing through X’s battle against Violen & Agile. I always wanted Isoc to come in right after, to give us the hint that he’s Serges 2.0. But then, that revisit to the Amazon Area got draggy...  I did my best, but I had to make cuts.  I liked what I did once he got in the portal. His refight with Bit & Byte was pretty cool.  Bringing Marty into it was a fun choice. I did like, how X got his moment of catharsis after all.  [I know there’s a real lost-opportunity with not including iX, but honestly that’d be too much.  If I ever write iX again, I think it’s best if I save him for the Mega Missions series.]

This thing fell apart when I got to the Central Museum revisit. I didn’t want to write that at all... In my script, I had marks at the bottom of the doc for what he’d say in the other totems IF he revisited.  And here we weeeeere.   Yet again, I was in the same position as last year at this time, when I wrote out Ep. 3.  I handled it better, then!  Playing over and over again to find right parts of the stage I wanted to write was annoying.  I bet I missed out on Rescue Reploids too, or Zombie Reploids at this point, but it’s fine.  It’s been so long, they probably just died.  I could always edit that in post, that X passes a bunch of dead bodies.  That’d make for some spooky atmosphere.

At this point, I re-analyzed the entire chapter and decided it was high-time for Zero to wake up and go about his original directives.  Time to add to the layers. It brought parts to life, for sure.  It even cemented other transitions, which was really cool.  I liked that I gave Douglas something else to do other than just, be there...

Once I was actually writing Zero’s stage, it did start to feel like a different episode, but I had a goal to reach and damn it, I was gonna get there! lol What’s good about this is that it moves Zero along in the stage without it being a real pain in the ass.

And that basically takes us to where the episode left off.

For the broken Central Museum part, I wrote X’s interactions with Phantom first. Then, with every Totem, I caught up to it as I could.  Once the Zero layering came about, things pieced together.  Same goes for any extra Villain narrations. The episode definitely started a certain way, and I wanted to keep that up as much as possible.  While also having Alia commentary, when appropriate and necessary.

I like this one. There’s a decent balance amidst all the nonsense I set up for myself.  And I definitely think that all these Portal Revisits are more interesting for X’s Nostalgic Nightmare encounters.  It spins the premise around that they didn’t just create a Nightmare Zero, but also a Nightmare Vile, a Nightmare Violen, a Nightmare Bit, a Nightmare Byte and now a Nightmare Double.  The possibilities are endless.

Yes, X’s mission is a complete side-quest, but guess what?  It makes you think that if he didn’t do this, the Nightmare would be that much worse for everyone later, down the road.  It’s Preventative Action.  It’s pretty neat.

Also, again - every Investigator thus far has been relatively good, but mislead in thinking that X was the enemy.  So once he’d explain it to them, they'd be at a standstill, and pretty much at a loss for motivation.  Go figure that Zero actually battles the evil ones with Infinity Flea and Blaze Phoenix.  But he’ll get a real taste for the good/mislead dilemma soon enough with Blizzard Wolfang.

Then we’ll see how I handle Metal Shark when I get there.  I’m looking forward to it.  I can’t believe I’m almost up to the 3rd Arc already!

But that’s exactly what I was getting at at the beginning of this rant.  This is definitely gonna be my last Season.  [Unless we get an X9 that suddenly ends all cliffhangers.] So with that said, I think the Nostalgic throwback was the right thing to do.  Show us that growth and remind us of where he’s been in a short time span, before we end things proper in MMX’s final season.

I’m getting misty eyed thinking about it already. =P

I’ll see you next time for Episode 14.

[koganphrancis]

Ian Used To Do Better Stuff With Vans OR There’s Another Hour Of My Life I Won’t Get Back

This episode was dumb dumb dumb as fuck-and even more pointless than that.  The ONLY redeeming quality in it was that it was completely Terror-free.  Read on, if you dare.  My recap of Season H8 Episode Dear God Why Isn’t It Over Yet-or 11, if you want to keep it short.

As usual, I’ll get the others out of the way as quickly as I possibly can. 

Carl’s still illegally under-aged married, and this week he tells Kasammi, “I don’t think there’s any skin left on my dick.”  Yeah, they made that point last year when they had to keep taking it off after his misguided circumcision.  Not that the show is referring to THAT, of course.  They refuse to acknowledge any plot point that has gone before.  He and Kas take a wild tour through his before the show started past and I have no idea what the point is-is it to show us she’s truly insane because none of the horrors of life on the mean streets scare her?  Or to show us that Generation Z doesn’t experience reality because their whole lives have been instantly posted on screens of electronic devices?  I don’t know and I don’t care-quit trying to be fake deep, Shameless, if you even are.  I can’t tell.  The only (maybe) pertinent point of Carl’s story this week is he tells Kasammi after her hundredth shit fit on the subject that he won’t go back to military school and in the previews for next week it looks like the family (or at least Frank) will try to help him sneak away to do just that.  Yawn.

Debbie loses three toes-Frank chops them off for her.  Before that, Debbie is shown signing her 16 year old self out of the hospital-WHAT?  She’d need a parent or guardian for that.  Anyway, apparently Debbie’s not on any kind of welfare or insurance.  And doesn’t know that Ian could’ve gotten the money for her expensive surgery to attempt to save the toes by going down on the old couple just twice.  What is it with this show and cutting off toes?  They’ve done this before with the body they got to stand in for Aunt Ginger.  I’m so sick of the recycled plot points!

Speaking of which-Snore’s old man is out of prison so Lip gets him to fight him to violate his parole and send him back-did this new writer guy not see Yevgeny’s christening episode or is he just really into plagiarism?  It was such a fizzle to a going nowhere story to begin with.  I think the guy playing Snore’s version of Terry even had some of the same lines but I’m too lazy to rewatch and try to catch them.  If we were supposed to hate this guy like we hate Terry, it didn’t work.  And Lip was no Mickey showing up to defend people that mean something to him either-it was all a weak as fuck imitation.  And it was odd that Lip chose to call the guy out for “beating women” when he lets himself get beaten when he has sex with Eddy.  Who the fuck is he to judge?  Maybe ten year old Snore didn’t get that her parents were having consensual rough sex that got too violent and ended in death-but the show’s not that deep.

Snore’s telling of her mother’s death once again played like someone complaining about not getting the last bottle of nail polish in their favorite shade at Walgreens or something.  If she’s been so traumatized that she can’t put any emotion into the horrific memories that’s fine, but then I would argue that she wouldn’t be terrified of her dad coming after her either.  Snore just can’t emote OR imagine what it would be like to be in that setting, I’m sorry.  

And here’s what had me super pissed-Snore tells Lip she was 10 when her mom was killed in front of witnesses (Snore and her brother-she specifically says they both testified against him) and her dad’s already out on parole?  We don’t know how old Snore is now, but surely no older than 25 (and probably not even that old, but whatever), so the show is saying her dad got out in 15 years max, which is the time Mickey was sentenced to for NOT killing Sammi?  Fuck off.  

Also, why would the cops not even consider the father’s side of the story that Lip instigated the fight?  Lip has Eddy’s niece record the fight on his phone, and after it’s over he goes over to her and asks her how it looks or whatever, and she says Snore’s father threw the first punch.  Wouldn’t the cops question why a little girl was filming two men on a porch BEFORE a fight started?  Snore’s father must have Mickey’s public defender for a lawyer.  Fucking show should’ve shocked us all by having Lip get locked up for premeditated assault.  

Fiona meets with a lawyer (Janice from Friends, but she’s not as funny in this, sadly) and as soon as she said Fiona could lose both the apartment building and the Gallagher house I knew that storyline had jumped the shark and somehow next week all will be miraculously fixed-no way will the Gallaghers ever lose the house, that’s another plot point that’s been done to death.  At first I was thinking they’ll either come up with some fortuitous traffic camera footage showing that the guy jumped off the roof intentionally, or that Hugh Laurie would show up in a cameo as Dr. House and say that if a man “fell” off a roof that high, he’d have a hell of a lot more damage than one broken ankle, but no, the show isn’t going to even get that clever-they’re just gonna have the family cave and be willing to settle with Fiona if they get custody of her dog that suddenly she’s so worried about in this week’s episode.  She’s never shown that level of concern for any of her siblings.  

Frank has a tedious, boring couple of scenes about his “retirement plan”-he has a baggie of 3 stolen Social Security cards and anyone can see a mile off that the cards would’ve just been replaced by their original owners-they’re not like a set of fingerprints and you only get one for life and if you lose it someone else has your entire identity.  THEN they set up next week’s recycled/stolen plot to have Liam and Frank rip off Liam’s rich friend’s family just like Carl and Frank ripped off Liam and Carl’s gay foster dads-it didn’t work then, it won’t work now (and why didn’t Frank do hard time for that grand theft?).  

Svetlana and Vee and Kevin have a scene at a fancy (but not as fancy as the show was trying to tell us it was) bar that was a pathetic echo of both Ian and Mickey’s hotel bar scam AND of how funny the show used to be able to be.  Later Svet goes to humble herself to the other hand whore to find out how she snagged a rich fiance and discovers that the dude she’s about to marry is senile as fuck and Svet is going to step in to replace her, which is what I predicted the first time the hand whore showed up.  I will give Shameless credit for making me laugh unintentionally-since I’ve been picturing the “old rich dude” Svet was going to wind up with as John Wells’ fantasy version of himself, seeing the old dude in an adult diaper and thinking he’s Wells was very satisfying.  

Do I finally get to Ian now?  Do I have to talk about his bullshit?  There’s a scene of him in bed alone while the newlyweds are having sex in the same room, signalling that he’d rather be there than at Terror’s house, LOL.  Then it’s the next morning and he goes down to breakfast with his Bible in hand, but no pills.  Is that supposed to be significant?  We may never know...

He gets to the “Church Of Gay Jesus” and there’s so many “fans” there it’s like Beatles or One Direction footage.  The minister guy gets through the crowd to him with a big young guy and tells Ian the rando is “Bic” and he wants to help (I didn’t know the guy’s name till I saw it in the closing credits, I really thought his name was “Dick” and they were making a “big dick” joke, but no, I guess they were making a “Bic lighter” joke instead).  Ian and Bic instantly have more chemistry than Ian and Terror but it’s unintentional I’m sure-the actor playing Bic probably has taken acting classes and knows to look an acting partner in the eye, instantly making him more engaged than Terror’s ever been in a scene.  

The minister guy tells Ian, “Your life is no longer your own.”  Which first of all, I’m just not buying that all these youths have just been waiting for a messiah to show up and they’ll follow him anywhere, and secondly why was being with Mickey not Ian anymore, but he’ll give away his entire life for strangers?  Fuck you, Shameless.  (and speaking of his entire life, does he never have to go to work anymore?  Also, Fiona turned him down when he asked for a ride to the church-for once she had a good reason, that she had to pick up Debbie-but why is the show acting like Fi does things for him all of the sudden?  She DID give him a ride last week, and that was very OOC of her.)

There’s a kid trying to get Ian’s attention-he needs help getting away from his parents who have hired men to get him back.  At some point in the proceedings some guys jump out of a van and drag the kid into it.  Ian runs to the front of the van before it can pull away and goes all Chris Pratt in Jurassic Park, holding up his arms and not letting it advance.  The unintentional humor here amused me no end.  Then Ian lays down in front of the van and I actually said aloud to my TV, “Just run him over.”  I’m that done with this storyline and this show-just kill Ian off at this point, it’d be a mercy.  

Ian’s there on the ground with his arms thrown up over his head (not that the driver could even see him down there, right in front of the van) and we see that this time Shameless didn’t bother covering up Cam’s real life Sailor Moon tattoo.  SO LAZY.  All the other kids lay down around the van too so it can’t go anywhere  The 3 dudes in the van give up and let the kid get out.

The kid is 14 and the minister guy tries to talk sense into Ian, saying the parents have a legal right to their kid and they, more specifically Ian, can’t keep the kid.  Ian agrees to talk to the kid’s dad who tells him the parents aren’t bigots, they don’t care that their son’s not heterosexual, but he’s been living on the streets, doing drugs, and prostituting himself.  Then the father says, “We believe he may be mentally ill,” and Cameron (and yes, I mean Cameron, not Ian) makes a reaction face to that, but what it means, again, nobody knows.

Ian goes to talk to the kid where they have him hidden away in the Mickey Wedding Venue basement.  Ian tells him what the father told him, and the kid says they keep bringing him to a church (is that Ian’s trigger?  Churches? and if so, why?), plus they have him see shrinks who have put him on meds that knock him on his ass and he can’t get an erection.  He adds, “That’s what they really want-so I can’t have sex with another boy, you know?  Ever.”  Ian says, “Well you can’t stay here.  You have to find someplace where you can be safe, where you can be yourself.”  WHAT?  I don’t understand.  For one thing, isn’t that LITERALLY TERROR’S JOB?  To take runaways and provide them with a safe place to stay and a plan to get their lives back on terms that they can live with?  I don’t ever want to have to side with Terror, but this episode is basically saying that Terror’s way is right and Ian’s way is oh so wrong and misguided.  What the fuck?  Secondly, isn’t that what Ian THINKS he’s doing?  Why is he telling the kid HE has to find someplace safe?  Ian has literally been in this kid’s shoes-he knows there’s no safe places for someone even younger than he was when he got back from the army, living on the streets.  Anyway, after Ian’s lines the kid says, “Will you help me?” but Ian doesn’t answer one way or the other.  

I totally didn’t get this scene-why the writer had Ian say nothing.  I could see if it was to show Ian was getting more and more manic and now is on the downside of that and is becoming too depressed to speak to people-but then where’s his energy for doing anything coming from, plus the story isn’t SAYING he’s manic or depressed, and Cam and John Wells said Ian’s storyline is bold, audacious, great, etc and I don’t think either of them would’ve said those things if the payoff is just going to be that Ian needed his meds adjusted.  And why does Ian maybe believe what the kid is saying and not the dad?  Again, this IS Ian’s story!  Mentally ill, unable to help himself, and unwilling to take his pills!  I wondered why Ian didn’t at least give him a version of the Monica “you don’t have to change for them” speech, or his own “you don’t have to fix me because I’m not broken” speech or why in the name of all that’s holy didn’t he tell the kid, “I’ve been exactly where you are-on meds that were supposed to help but made me feel like crap plus I couldn’t get it up-but that’s because they take time-you need to take them to get stable and then you’ll find what works for you and have no problems having sex again (since apparently Ian’s never had an issue since beating Mickey up at the dugouts).”  AND the kid’s only 14-does Ian maybe want to advise him that feeling like he needs to be having sex that young to the point where he’s willing to run away and do it with anyone might be part of his symptoms?  

Ian COULD be so helpful here, but no.  At this point he is literally putting at risk kids at even greater risk.  

Later Rando Bic shows Ian that the van’s back behind the church.  Ian says, “Get the kid,” like he’s The Penguin and Bic’s his trusty lieutenant.  It was so dumb.  The kid is used as bait, and when the 3 guys jump out of the van Ian pops up behind the group and starts yelling.  “My god’s a faggot!  My god’s a dyke!  My god is trans, a junkie, a whore!’  Then the van blows up.  “We will not be victims!”  

What the hell is he on about?  That’s a serious question.  None of this is making sense.  God isn’t human, so Ian giving the Christian god human attributes makes no sense.  “We won’t be victims” of WHAT?  Gay conversion?  This kid’s dad said he isn’t trying to convert his gay son.  What is all the yelling and the explosion about?  And to get back to the explosion for a moment: That had to be Ian’s brilliant plan, and it just makes me miss Mickey talking him down from stupid shit like that all the more.  Bic is the one that actually lights the fire (get it?  BIC?) but how did they even know that all 3 guys would get out of the van this time?  Based on the first failed attempt to drive off with the kid, wouldn’t it make more sense that one of the guys would stay at the wheel and keep the van running and they’d take off the minute they shoved the kid inside before all of Ian’s disciples could block it again?   Before I rewatched the scene this morning I actually wondered if the story is going to be Ian is guilty of killing one of the guys, but then I saw it again and all 3 did get out-but I still don’t think Bic could’ve seen them from where he snuck around to light it up.  And I bet we don’t see Bic again-he was randomly thrown in because of course Terror wouldn’t have helped Ian carry out any plan that wasn’t his own.  But it’s funny that they couldn’t have him in the episode because everyone, even the shitty writers, know there’s no way Terror could talk Ian out of it like Mickey would be able to.   

In the scenes for next week, Terror shows up and asks, “Is Ian around?” and Debbie answers, “He’s not here.”  Terror says, “There’s a warrant out for his arrest.”  Wouldn’t the cops have gone to Ian’s house FIRST?  Where would they have even found Terror to be asking about Ian since Ian doesn’t officially work for the Youth Center or the Church of Gay Jesus.  More lazy writing, can’t wait for the whimpering end to this crapfest of a season.  

[riisinaakka-draws]

It has only been a little over a year since I started watching the show and joined the Black Sails fandom. I posted my first fanart exactly one year ago and it was the one above. Thus far I have drawn over 100 of them. I tried different mediums and styles, both for practice and for capturing the essence of the things I wanted to share. Some of them are great, some are silly, some are a bit out of character or not so good in other ways and some ended up surprising me in many ways. All are nonetheless very precious to me.

Under the read more there's a list of all my doodles thus far. Most of them feature Flint, Silver or both of them (there will be more of the other characters in the future, no worries). I have to admit I laughed quite a lot while going through these again. This is a really long post.

This is a list to show what sort of things there are and also for my own amusement and archiving purposes. The list is in chronological order, from first to the latest.

I tried to make this as concise as possible, but the tag/navigation page is here if you want to find something specific or don’t want to go through all this:

- Flint takes care of Silver's leg in the darkness of the captain's cabin.

- Some quick doodles of Flint, ballpoint pen

- Sharkdate cuties (really scrappy doodles of Silver gazing at munching Flint)

- Progress. A continuation to previous pic. Silver holding a cup, covered in blood and looking affectionally at Flint. Here’s a giffed version.

- Silver and Flint go for a night walk in winter and Flint finds the streetlights amusing. Modern Au, beanies and the BS logo

- “See any treasures, Capt'n?” Billy to Flint who is looking at something “shiny” with his spyglass.

- What if Silver stole that certain ponytail and made it into "a rabbit's foot"? And what if Flint had a medallion with pictures of the Hamiltons and later a lock of dark curls... I returned to this idea several times after this, lol. (still secretly wishing that anyone would write a ficlet about this).

- Overload of Blackbeard - several doodles of different adaptations of BB

- Shark hunting. Flint has the shark on his lap and Silver stands in front of him. Composition inspired by that infamous Wolwerine and Nightcrawler cover.

- A gif of Blackbeard with flowers in his beard (I share a birthday with Ray Stevenson, that's why).

- a quick sketch of displeased Jack

- The Red Lollipop. Flint eating candy which is distracting to Silver, inspired by this awesome post (x). Silver steals the sweets and peels some potatoes. Bonus: Randall and Betsy the Cat.

- Draw me like one of your quatermasters... Flint doodles sleeping Silver in the Captain's log.

- Random sketches of Silver and Flint. Learning to draw their faces

- Flint with a horrible mustache and Silver with a long braided beard. (I should redraw this someday..)

- Flint takes Silver for a ride (modern Au with motorcycles). The Walrus gang follows "the flagship"

- Black Sails moomin AU, part I (I had so much fun with these).

The domestic modern beach au serie with 15+ doodles, various characters, inspired by this hilarious post (x). - Jack takes pictures of everything and Vane ends up buried in the sand - Silver puts some lotion on Flint (Billy tosses people up in the background) - Max and Anne Bonny enjoying each other's company - Rogers is going to get hit by a beach ball "accidentally". Anne, Max, Vane and Jack in the background - Ben Gunn shows his ship kite to Billy Bones - Vane and Flint swim butterfly. Silver (*.*) - Vane flips his hair like a merman, Eleanor is drinking and enjoying the view. - Mr Scott and Mr Gates enjoy their drinks at the bar while others fight in the water. Max and Eleanor gossip together. Anne and Jack hold hands like otters on swim rings. - Silver and Flint sleeping on the sun, Flint has a book on his face - The Ranger Crew swimming. Jack is slathered in sun lotion, Anne waits for him and Vane makes a joke. + Mysterious swimming trunks. - Silver is the sneakiest shit and likes to creep underwater and drag people down by their legs. - Silver and Flint eating ice cream + some early sketches in a gif - the Fucking Warship (minivan) rides to sunset, Vane is forgotten in the sand but do not worry...

- Silver and Flint sing the song "Dynamic Duet" from Starkids' Holy musical B@tman!

- Nooooooooo! Flint shaves his head, Silver doesn't take it well.

- Silver's character development. From little shit to actual scary fuck

- A HUG. (silverflint, done before s4. I really needed a hug)

- Bloodthirsty Bunny & Squinting Squirrel, (furries, i am so sorry)

- Flint brings water to Silver, a scene from the show. <3

- Sweetness of touch. Flint gets his hair/head touched by his loved ones.

The Walrus crew acquires some chicken. A lot of them. And a parrot. - Billy and Joji are tending them - people playing board games and ignoring the chickens - a coc- I mean a rooster between Silver's legs - Silver holding some chickens and Flint meeting "the Captain Flint"

- Flint gets his ginger crown back...sort of

Chickens, part II. Flint sends his regards. Teach has taken Anne and Jack to fishing and they get a surprise "gift" from the Walrus.

Fanart about Silverfin, a thrilling and unbeliavably funny (nsfw) silverflint fic by @jadedbirch and @zoinomiko (can’t tag u for some reason..).

Go read it :D I made some (sfw) fanart inspired by it (spoilers). - a comic of the tragic night - reunion and crowns (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)

- (a recap, not really a tutorial) about some of my messy work methods.

- Anne Bonny, without her hat, ready to kick your ass, season 3

- A portait of Max

- Every fashionable pirate captain needs a hat! Silver buys some silly pirate hats. Inspired by @vowel-in-thug​'s fic (part V, nsfw) and the CBeebies Bedtime Story etc.

- "Support". Silver and Flint approaching the Maroon camp.

- A portrait of Long John Silver on his way of becoming the legend

- Swords and time. James McGraw - Captain Flint. Sword placement comparison, gif experiments etc. (I really like this one)

- A canary. Flint finds a sad-looking caged bird aboard a merchant ship and then reads books to it in his cot. Inspired by @old-long-john​'s sweet and beautiful fic (x). Also thanks to @captain-flint​ for spotting the bird cage in s1.

Inktober 2016, 20+ doodles, various characters - Silver, a sad little face doodle - A bringer of death and destruction (Flint as an angel of sorts). Quick doodle with a brush - Silver and Flint. A little doodle with an ink-dipped cotton swap - "Hungry", Silver and Flint find the whale and prepare to hunt sharks. - "SAD?" NOT TODAY! There's always Silver Lining. Silly and shitty puns. - "Hidden", The treasure has been buried. - "LOST", Silver and Flint look for a bird on board the Walrus. - "ROCK", Ben Gunn and Billy Bones play rock-paper-scissors. (sorry, still no better doodle of them) - "BROKEN", Benjamin Hornigold misses his chair. - "Lock the door", Flint on the floor of his cabin when they were becalmed ;_; - "TRANSPORT", Anne Bonny takes Jack Rackham to safety on a horse. - Madi, a little sketch - "Dufresne admires his new tattoo" - "TREE", What difference does it make? Captain Naft shares his insight. Froom and Crisp agree. Morley and Randall (+ Betsy the Cat) are not impressed (for obvious reasons...). - "RELAX", A nice afternoon at the seaside with some of the brothel girls - A little sketch of John Silver again, because I cannot resist him. - "Flint has a meeting with Death". - "ESCAPE", Flint has retired and Silver still sails the seas. Occasionally he visits James and steals some of his baked goods (with some help from his crew and birdies). - "FLIGHT", a sketch of a parrot on a napkin - "SQUEEZE", Jack Rackham enjoying his bath - "LITTLE", a little sketch of Max and Anne kissing in little rain, under Anne's huge hat. - "Surprise", Charles Vane lurking in the water - "And then! You won't believe what the.." Hal Gates and Billy Bones spend their free afternoon gossiping and having fun - "Forget-me-not" / "one dozen", Miranda finds some familiar flowers and thinks about Thomas. - "BURN", Thomas, James and Miranda, just eyes. Inspired by the powermetal duet "Wish I Had An Angel"

- Oooh, What does my reflection shoooow ~. (Lovable) Little shit.

- Accidents with the spyglass. Flint acts like an asshole, Billy and Gates are having none of it, Silver is yet to learn.

- Death builds a raft and follows the Walrus.

- Portrait of Eleanor, the Merchant Queen of Nassau

- "long johns and puns". Silver is looking for a new pirate style and Billy offers to help.

- Black Sails Moomin AU - part II

- Silver at the wrecks, light and visual practise

- Eleanor Guthrie and James Flint, looking in / out. visual practise, parallels and contrasts

- My Heart Will Go On, but I'll keep your ponytail and get a parrot for my duets. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

- Muldoon's tattoo ;_;

Some of the following have season 4 spoilers:

- Eleanor does some embroidery (of bees and fuck-yous)

- How Silver gets his new crutch (Israel Hands is handy)

- Flint and the Wanderer above the sea of fog

- Flint's mouth saying FUCK infinitely, a gif experiment

- "That's my wee lad, Gimli." Berringer's locket and asshole Rogers.

- For a moment there was a Hat Trio. Teach, Jack and Anne

- Silver and Madi, canon kiss

- The Spare Ginger. Silver doesn't like Eleanor's plan. Madi and Israel Hands try to comfort him.

- Eleanor Guthrie, a green portrait

- Long John Silver must make a tough choice, while Flint enjoys his capture at Eleanor's expense

- All those extra spyglasses in 4.08. Maybe the answer was Israel Hands' hoarding.

- Fresh air on the balcony of the Walrus. (a drawing of the ship at night). There're celebrations on the deck, Flint and Silver have a private talk.

I find it endearing how this list ends with the balcony one. Like a parallel (ha!) to the first one, where Flint and Silver are having a private moment on board of a ship, although it is a different ship and at a different time. A year ago I had no idea where this all would lead me and how much I would learn and get to experience *pats my past-self in the back awkwardly and fondly*

Looking back at them (doodles) I feel both proud and slightly embarrassed of my enthusiasm. I have never done anything like this for any other fandom. I have never felt so much and had such an urge to engage in this sort of thing.

This show, its creators and crew, this fandom. Just something unbeliavable.  I cannot find the words to say how much I appreciate you all. The brilliancy, the humour, the love in all kinds of forms. I am so glad I stumbled on this show (it was a gif or a fanvid about ep 2.05 that made me aware of this show, btw. I cannot remember it clearly anymore and for a moment I thought Crossbones was a pilot for Black Sails and almost missed everything, but that's a story for another time...)

Know this: I have loved sharing this experience (the show, the fandom) with you and I appreciate everything you have given to me or shared with me. I will treasure this. (I apologize not thanking more people individually, but this post would’ve never reached its end otherwise).

*throws hearts and forehead kisses to the best and inspiring fandom and the greatest show that broke my heart and healed my soul so many times*

All the possibilities and love to you. Thank you <3

(This is not a goodbye, btw. There’s still so much more to come!) (◠‿◠✿)

P.S. All this started as doodles so that’s why I have kept using that word eventhough it doesn’t really apply to many of these anymore...

[feverishh]

MAKE ME ADMIT STUFFFF

here it is anon, all 92 answers ✨

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? nope

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? not today pal

3. Have you taken someones virginity? i have not

4. Is trust a big issue for you? no, i’ve never had trust issues with anyone but i guess that’s because i’ve never been cheated on

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? i don’t really like anyone atm so no

6. What are you excited for? job possibilities and becoming the person i want to be i guess

7. What happened tonight? i got my nails done and i searched for jobs

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? not at all haha

9. Is confidence cute? i’m a sucker for a shy guy but i think having the confidence to be yourself and be genuine is something i really appreciate

10. What is the last beverage you had? pepsi max boisssss

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? maybe 2 or 3

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? i do

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? hopefully go watch a film with one of my best friends

14. What are you going to spend money on next? trying v hard not to spend money on clothes but will probs end up doing so haha

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? i’m single pal

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? i hope so, forever trying to improve myself

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? one of my best friends, jimmy or my best pals from uni

18. The last time you felt broken? this year was difficult

19. Have you had sex today? nope

20. Are you starting to realize anything? that i don’t owe people anything, i need to start looking after myself

21. Are you in a good mood? yeah i’m not too bad today 🌻

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? maybe ??

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? no his are brown, mine are hazel

24. What do you want right this second? more pepsi max lmao

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? i mean nothing, if we’re not together i can’t say anything

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? no hahahaha

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? i’ve done so in the past and there was definitely something missing

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? i watched the ep of the office where dwight starts the fire today aha

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? not particularly

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? sometimes

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? nope

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? i don’t have feels for anyone rn, but they’d never know anyways cos i never tell people i like them

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? i mean judging by my addiction to pepsi max, what do you think b

34. Listening to? Why by Aminé

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? yeah i rly like writing with mechanical pencils

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? nottingham??? idk

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? i’d like to

38. Who did you last call? jimmy

39. Who was the last person you danced with? my other best pal, emma

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? i was drunk and she was cute

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? um maybe july at my friends bday ???

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? nope

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? uh can i get a heLL YEA?

44. Do you tan in the nude? i don’t tan xo

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? nope

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? nope

47. Who was the last person to call you? jimmy

48. Do you sing in the shower? sometimes

49. Do you dance in the car? sometimes

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? i have actually

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? i was 16 and it was prom lol

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? most of them, yes

53. Is Christmas stressful? in my house it is

54. Ever eat a pierogi? i have not

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? winter berries or pear or apple idk???

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? actress, archaeologist and FBI behavioural analyst lmao

57. Do you believe in ghosts? i do

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? yeee

59. Take a vitamin daily? nooo

60. Wear slippers? yeee boi my feet are always cold

61. Wear a bath robe? yeee

62. What do you wear to bed? big baggy tshirts and pj bottoms cos i like being snug as a bug in a huge duvet

63. First concert? panic! at the disco

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? asda or tesco x

65. Nike or Adidas? idrc

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos babyyy

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? um... wildest dreams? idk i aint a big fan

69. Ever take dance lessons? i did ballet but then my teacher did a runner haha

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? nope, i’ve never thought about it

71. Can you curl your tongue? ye

72. Ever won a spelling bee? never been in one

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yes haha, when i passed my driving test

74. What is your favorite book? the perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky, i read it at just the right time in my life and i honestly think it’s a beautiful book

75. Do you study better with or without music? i usually listen to lo fi hip hop

76. Regularly burn incense? nah not a massive fan

77. Ever been in love? nope

78. Who would you like to see in concert? i rly wanna see the front bottoms and peach pit again

79. What was the last concert you saw? dot to dot in notts, last act i saw play that night was peach pit

80. Hot tea or cold tea? i don’t rly drink tea but i like peach iced tea

81. Tea or coffee? neither

82. Favorite type of cookie? chocolate chip

83. Can you swim well? idk

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? yeah

85. Are you patient? depends on the circumstances

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? bit o’both is always fun

87. Ever won a contest? i don’t think so

88. Ever have plastic surgery? nope

89. Which are better black or green olives? neither ew

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? go for it

91. Best room for a fireplace? tv room

92. Do you want to get married? yeah i’d like to