#longest post I’ve been working since yesterday because trash is trash

[ran-orimoto]

COol to see people who want to give Junpei a family bg but I'm so intrigued in HIS family too and the cute babies you gave these two. So I wanted to ask if there's any chance to know more about your take on a Junpei dad, headcanons? I wil, wjat for a fic about the fam though. I spy you on tw and the intention is there

My God, I know some of you want me to write something about the Shibayamas’ fam but the embarassment about my trash is too great to pollute Ao3🤣. Okok, sorry, I will come up with something but maybe I could post it here??? Like, I’ve already polluted Tumblr enough so why not posting one-shots about the Junzumi fam here at this point. I won’t tag it in Frontier unless it’s an ask reply, but it looks like a good compromise between your ideas and my deep awkwardness, yah.

Said this, I will randomly go with some headcanons. I’m not sure if you want to know generalized stuff or specific headcanons about him and each kid, so I’ve mixed a bit of everything 🤣! My Papà Junpei is a pretty melancholy one because I like playing with the fact an opera singer ends up getting a life that resembles a tragicomedy. He’s become a realistic union of his roles🤣🤣🤣.

Hm long post yeah!

• Junpei isn’t at home that often to spend time with his family, which is something he will always feel so horrible about, especially when Izumi finally manages to open a japanese-italian cuisine restaurant in Japan like she has always wanted. Izumi knows it’s impossible for him to work in Japan after having reached the top of his career working for Milan’s La Scala, so she is willing to remain in Italy but he refuses to become the one who will shatter Izumi’s dream. So he ends up parting the fam in a more evident way by allowing them to move to Japan again (Ran will remain with him for a bit more time because of reasons), and reaching them whenever he can, even if it becomes more than just difficult to keep his promises on this level because of the much bigger distance. He feels extremely guilty about having not found the courage to finally drop his career, which is a subtle wish of his creeping in his soul as the higher he gets in success, the harder it becomes for him to stay close to those he loves and be true to himself. That’s why he will eventually switch to opera singing teaching, like I said a while ago.

• When it comes to returning to Japan, as a dejá-vú, he finds it hard to socialize with other parents during group occasions. He’s not only a sturdy man, but he’s also a foreigner at that point, no matter he is japanese, and ,on top of that, he’s also a famous opera singer in Europe. He can’t really ignore the glares and hushed comments he gets from the other fathers and can perceive how mean some weird questions he is asked about by them are. On this note, Kou used to admire Papà a lot, but it becomes hard not to feel so uncomfortable about him when his classmates laugh about Junpei also because of his phsical aspect. So Kou grows a little cold to Junpei and Junpei will take such a long time to understand it’s not really his fault.

• He……Plays Scopa (an italian card game you can play on PC too XD) during his free time and the whole fam teases him about this passion of his, especially in the middle of what he calls “tournaments”🤣. It’s eventually revealed Toto is much better at Scopa than him, just like the youngest Shibayama is an ace at whatever game Junpei proposes to spend some time with him. I kinda see Junpei as a person who can never get bored at home. He is a fan of board games, puzzles, maybe even chess. Anyway, Junpei will understand it’s better to use his Scopa cards for his magical tricks.

• Having developed a theatrical side, he has many funny outfits he uses to play with the kids. Magical tricks? He MUST dress up as a real wizard. Some Venetian traditional masks and outfits? A freaking Santa outfit? Why not. …………… SOME DETECTIVE OUTFIT to play silly hide-and-seek or real interrogations (during which he will always end up being the guilty one, but whatever, Junpei. It’s obvious you steal chocolate like a child). He’s a bizarre person, so let him really believe he has got twenty seasons about his secret detective career. Izumi rolls her eyes at this craziness of his, but the kids love how weird he is and she does too🤣.

• He risks to fall in his bribery/buying affection tendecies again when he fears he’s staying far from the kids for way too long time, so he starts sending them presents every week, but Izumi will surely kick his a$$ once he comes back home, as she fairly doesn’t want spoiled kids. (And she doesn’t want to be spoiled either🤣)

• Returning to his hobbies, it’s canon for me Junpei loves model trains. He’s one of those people who can spend a whole night to build one of those, and he wishes journalists could take a look at his collection when they interview him (but they never will, for his dismay XD. Ops) . No kid ever got interested in this hobby of his until Toto arrives and he gets fascinated by trains like him. Junpei and Toto…Often go to the station to look at trains passing by because truly Toto enjoys himself like that (and Junpei follows aahahah).

• Junpei learns how to play piano when he’s in conservatory but he obviously can only play parts of arias he needs to practice. Yet when Kou is born he learns how to play some lullabies. As the time passes by, that poor piano will get super out of tune, but he will refuse to buy another one like Izumi wants to.

• He’s STILL afraid of thunders but Ran being afraid af of them just like him makes him realize he has to snap out of it for his daughter’s sake. So he will give his best to protect her from this fear of hers even if it means cradling her with his whole body shaking.

• Kids see Grandpa Shibayama rarely because Junpei hates it when his family presses their kids about their future, reminding them how important to “become rich like Dad” is in life.

• He’s an egocentric and this is so clear. It worsens when he gets where he gets. Whenever they have the occasion to drive a car, he will bring CDs of his own performances to listen to them during the journey. The worst arguments with Kou🤣, because who would ever want to listen to Verdi’s “Requiem” during a peaceful holiday to the beach, I beg you.

• Again, he’s such an egocentric a$$ he claims he’s able to do the most disparate things, even dancing ballet for Ran and risking to break a leg, but we appreciate the effort, Junpei. You only needed a tutu, Kouji said.

• Talking about Uncle Kouji, Junpei will probably find himself at the edge of the world someday because kids want to follow Kouji on his travels so badly and Junpei would even go to North Pole if it was necessary. Eventually Kouji will obviously just take them to observe deers in Kyoto. No, kids, he won’t take you anywhere dangerous🤣🤣🤣.

That’s it, Anon??? I have got ton of hcs about the fam because I always think about them, even while studying , so feel free to ask me whatever you want ahahaha. I could make 700 posts like this one, I’m serious ahahahha.

[thesewordsareallihavetogive]

no body, no crime - allison argent x reader

(gif source)

Summary: When y/n disappears after confronting her husband about his affair, Allison takes matters into her own hands. Based on “no body, no crime (feat. HAIM)” by taylor swift [x]. You can find the mood board for this fic here

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: cursing, infidelity, implied kidnapping, implied murder, murder, alleged murder, alleged/implied death of reader, reader is married to a man with a j name 🤢

a/n: hi everyone! it’s been a hot minute since i posted a new fic & this is why. i’ve been working on this since late december of 2020, so this is the longest i’ve ever spent on a stand-alone work. i’ll include more gory details about the writing process at the end if you’re interested :)

dedicated to: elle (@demxters) for all of her help and ideas! this fic literally wouldn’t have gotten finished without her, send her some love <3

this is also dedicated to caoimhe (@free-pool-trash​) for not murdering me after i gave her a preview several weeks ago and then just ✨stopped writing✨

master list

Este's a friend of mine

We meet up every Tuesday night for dinner and a glass of wine

“Hey!” Allison greeted cheerily as she met y/n at their usual table tucked in the corner of their favorite restaurant. y/n returned the brunette’s smile as she stood up to hug her friend, but it didn’t reach her eyes. Allison saw through y/n’s facade and furrowed her eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” she asked as concern spread across her features.

“I think Justin is having an affair,” y/n admitted. The statement dropped like a bomb between the two women, causing Allison to nearly spew the wine in her mouth all over the table. She coughed a few times and drank some water to clear her throat before she composed herself enough to ask questions.

“What happened? Did you see something?” Allison asked hesitantly. Her mind was still reeling from the mere concept of y/n’s husband cheating on her. Sure, Justin had never been Allison’s favorite guy, but it was normal for girls to think that no guy would ever be good enough for their best friend. Right? 

Her husband's acting different and it smells like infidelity

She says, "That ain't my merlot on his mouth"

"That ain't my jewelry on our joint account"

y/n explained what had been going on over the past few weeks. Justin had been acting distant, which wasn’t too abnormal, but when he started coming home from work much later than his shifts ended and disappearing at odd hours of the night, y/n got concerned. The day that she had planned to approach him about everything and ask if anything was wrong, she got a call from her bank while driving home from work.

“Hi Mrs. y/l/n, this is Kathy from the bank. I’m calling to inform you that there have been a few large cash withdrawals from your joint account recently under your husband’s name, as well as a pretty expensive purchase yesterday at the jeweler,” the rest of Kathy’s words sounded muffled to y/n. It was nowhere near her birthday, Valentine’s day, or their anniversary, so y/n didn’t know what he could possibly be spending all their money on.

The next incident came a few days later when both y/n and Justin were home. y/n’s husband was in the shower and his phone buzzed with a new text message alert. Typically, y/n was never the type to snoop on her husband’s phone, but she figured she should check in case it was a work message. At least that’s how she justified it in her head. Justin had saved the sender’s number under the contact name “Spam Risk.” It was clever, y/n had to give him credit for that at least. Upon further inspection, y/n quickly realized that those texts weren’t sent from a telemarketer bot.

6:24 p.m.   I can’t wait to see you tonight, baby - Spam Risk

6:25 p.m.   Don’t keep me waiting too long ;) - Spam Risk

y/n thought the messages were strange, but the picture that followed the messages was definitely what threw y/n for a loop. There, on her husband’s text message thread, was a racy photo of a woman’s body that definitely wasn’t hers. y/n was quite literally stunned to silence as she dropped the phone back down onto the dresser. For the rest of the night, y/n was numb and quiet, not that Justin noticed. Then, like clockwork, he left the house at 11 p.m. with no explanation of where he was going or when he would be back.

By the end of y/n’s story, Allison’s mouth was open so wide she was sure her jaw would hit the table. 

“What are you going to do?” Allison whispered, still in shock. y/n grimaced before clearing her throat and speaking her next words with finality.

No, there ain't no doubt

I think I'm gonna call him out

Este wasn't there

Tuesday night at Olive Garden at her job or anywhere

“Hi, there should be a reservation for two under Allison Argent or y/n y/l/n for tonight,” Allison greeted warmly as she approached the hostess stand at their go-to girl’s night restaurant.

“Right this way, ma’am,” the hostess said with a smile as she grabbed two menus and led her towards their usual table. Two menus. That must mean that y/n wasn’t there yet? Allison thought it was strange, y/n almost always was the first of the two to arrive. Allison brushed off the thought as she thanked the hostess and sat down. She had intended to look over the menu, but the strangeness of it all wouldn’t leave her mind. y/n was late. She was never late. Allison pulled out her phone to text her best friend, and it then occurred to her that she hadn’t heard from y/n since last week. Allison had been away on a “work” trip with her dad for the past six days and had just gotten back into town. After 30 minutes of sitting at the table alone, half a dozen unanswered text messages, and even more calls sent straight to voicemail, Allison dropped a few bills on the table and left.

As Allison pulled out of the parking lot, she turned on the radio in a futile attempt to drown out some of her racing thoughts. Between songs the radio host took to the mic to make an announcement.

“Hello Beacon Hills, we now interrupt your regularly scheduled listening with an urgent message from the Sheriff's department. Speaking now is Sheriff Noah Stilinski,” the host trailed off before there was a brief crackle as the audio transitioned to the Sheriff’s press briefing. Allison turned up the volume as the Sheriff’s voice carried across the radio.

“Thank you all for attending and tuning in. It is with great displeasure and a heavy heart that I inform you all that y/n y/l/n has been reported missing. Shortly after 8 a.m. this morning, we were informed by her husband that she didn’t show up for work yesterday morning and also didn’t come home last night,” Sheriff Stilinski continued speaking but it all began to sound like white noise to Allison. It took everything she had in her to focus on not veering off the road so that she could head to the Sheriff’s station and speak to Stilinski in person. 

Conveniently, her route took her right past y/n and Justin’s house. Allison didn’t know what to expect as she sped by their house, but the fact that Justin’s normally filthy truck had been cleaned and waxed definitely caught her eye. The truck and driveway were soon out of sight due to the speed she was driving at, but at first glance, it looked as though his tires and grill had been replaced.

He reports his missing wife

And I noticed when I passed his house his truck has got some brand new tires

About a week had passed since y/n had been reported missing. Allison wasn’t sure how many search parties had been held, but they all resulted in the same thing: nothing. There wasn’t a single trace of her best friend, in fact, everything in Beacon Hills looked completely unchanged and normal. Allison’s focus and appetite seemed to have left with her other half, try as she might to desperately hold onto them. Her marksmanship had even been affected, something that hadn’t happened since high school.

Allison started driving around town during her free time. She wasn’t headed anywhere in particular, she mostly did it to try to clear her mind, though most times she was unsuccessful. She’d been mindlessly taking right and left turns and before she realized where she was, she passed y/n’s house.

Allison hadn’t planned to slow down as she passed the house, it was a mindless act if anything. Seeing a moving truck backed up to the house while Justin and some unfamiliar blonde woman were unloading boxes ensured that her decision to park her car where it couldn’t be seen and spy on the pair wasn’t mindless. Despite her gut telling her not to, Allison decided to give Justin the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he needed a roommate now since y/n couldn’t pay her share of the rent? Allison tried her best to keep all of her judgments and suspicions at bay as she watched the otherwise uneventful event unfold while biting her fingernails. 

A few boxes later, Justin pulled the blonde in by her waist and kissed her with a fervor that would make most people blush. Allison’s eyes nearly popped out of her head as she sat there in shock with her mouth wide open. It took a while, mostly because the kiss lasted for an obnoxious amount of time, but Allison finally regained control of her body. It was like her brain had to go through a hard reset before she was able to face the reality of the situation.

y/n was right. Justin was cheating on her. Not only that, but Justin had cheated on y/n, spent less than a week grieving her disappearance, then allowed this to happen.

And his mistress moved in

Sleeps in Este's bed and everything

Allison found out that Justin Smith’s mistress’s name was Rebecca Baker. She was a few years younger than y/n and she worked at the same company as Justin. It didn’t take long for Allison to hack into both of their iCloud accounts. A few hours of scrolling later she was really regretting her decision, especially when she got to Justin’s messages to Rebecca about y/n.

2:47 a.m.  What about your wife? - Spam Risk

2:47 a.m.  What about her? - Justin

2:48 a.m.  Are you going to leave her or kick her out or something? - Spam Risk

2:48 a.m.  It’s been taken care of. - Justin

2:48 a.m.  Taken care of? Justin, what does that mean? - Spam Risk

2:49 a.m.  Justin??? - Spam Risk

Each new message ensured that bits of Allison’s fingernails had been gnawed off while her left hand fidgeted anxiously in front of her mouth. Allison decided that those messages were probably the most incriminating thing she’d find digitally, but the time and date stamps caught her eye. The texts were sent early Monday morning, the day that y/n allegedly left home and then didn’t show up for work or return home. 

A chill spread from deep within Allison’s bones up to the surface of her skin, making goosebumps appear. Allison didn’t know what exactly, but she knew something terrible had happened to y/n and Justin had something to do with it. She shut her laptop a little harder than necessary as a resolved look spread across her face.

No, there ain't no doubt

Somebody's gotta catch him out

Good thing my daddy made me get a boating license when I was fifteen

Allison regularly accessed her personal armory, whether it was to prepare for a job or pack for a trip to the shooting range, but it had been a while since a powerful and unforgiving feeling hung over her shoulders. Allison carefully ran her fingers over her custom silver arrowheads as she considered her options. Her father’s words from one of her adolescent archery lessons rung in her head.

“The type of bow and arrows you use doesn’t matter. As long as you use them right, you’ll be able to make any shot. Don’t get hung up on the technicalities.”

Not too long after, her bag was stocked with her essentials: a bow, her trusted black leather archery glove, as well as a handful of arrows, though these ones lacked the silver heads she typically reserved for more exotic expeditions.

The rare dark clouds in the California sky at sunset were reflected in Allison’s cold eyes. The drive to her target’s house was familiar, the turns she made were almost instinctual. Normally these roads reminded her of her coffee dates with y/n and nights they spent talking for hours until sunlight crept through the windows. Now, her mind was blank and her heart was devoid of all emotion.

Even though Allison had disabled her car’s GPS earlier, she parked her car about a mile away from his house. When she was done, there wouldn’t be any evidence that could be traced back to her. She memorized his schedule; at 5:00 p.m. his shift ended and recently he’d been getting home by 5:20. His girlfriend got home sometime between 5:30 and 5:45, but she would leave for her pilates class around 6:30 and wouldn’t get home until 7:45. Allison had just over an hour window to get the job done, but it wouldn’t take that long. If everything went according to plan, she’d be off the property within a few minutes of taking the shot.

When she arrived her target had just come home from work and was alone in the house. She waited patiently, hidden by the trees that the property backed up to. She watched as he moved around through the open curtains and then as his girlfriend entered the house and kissed him with a passion that made Allison’s stomach churn. She watched as they ate dinner together, as her target’s girlfriend got ready for her gym class, and watched as she got in her car and drove away. When Allison checked her watch it was only 6:25 p.m., she had far more time than she needed.

The plan was simple, really. Under the cover of darkness, she’d flip the breakers, effectively cutting the power. When her target came out to investigate, she’d let him fumble around in the darkness for a while. He’d always been a paranoid individual, so it wouldn’t take much to get him on edge. A rustle in the bushes here, a small snapped tree branch there, and then something that would get his attention. Allison wanted his eyes to be on her when she took the shot.

Allison’s target was watching TV so he knew immediately when the power went out, plus the fact that the once illuminated house was suddenly bathed in darkness. The high-pitched yelp that escaped his throat almost made Allison laugh. She had to keep quiet though, at least for now. As expected, the dopey man scurried around to the side of the house where the breakers were located in no time. The batteries in the flashlight he held were on their last leg, that much was evident in the way the light beam flickered every few seconds.

Just as he opened the door to the circuit breaker panel, Allison moved. A rustle here. The sound practically echoed in the silence of the night, causing the man to whip around and shine his flashlight directly at the source of the noise. There was nothing there. It’s just the wind, he reasoned before getting back to work. After a few switches had been flipped - none of them for the outdoor lights - he heard another noise. This one was much louder than the last, a small snapped tree branch there. Again, the flashlight’s flickering light beam uncovered nothing, but it was enough to make all of the hairs on the back of Allison’s target’s neck stand up straight. He hastily flipped the rest of the breakers and the outdoor lights finally came on. 

When yellow light from the backyard fixtures flooded the area, both Allison and her target were revealed. Allison stood a considerable distance away from the man, but she was close enough to see the blood drain from his face and his Adam's apple bob. When his eyes darted to the bow hung by her side, realization dawned on his face. He began to turn away with the intention of running, but Allison’s voice held him frozen in place.

“Don’t move,” she ordered quietly without any aggression behind her tone. Her face wasn’t threatening, she just looked calm and focused. Allison’s smooth features and peaceful expression was what scared the man the most.

“I- I’m sorry- I didn’t-” he stammered out, his arms and legs beginning to tremble.

“Shh,” Allison chastised as she raised her bow, loading it with an arrow. Her fingers moved with precision, her muscles knew this routine well.

“Please don’t- no, you can’t, you can’t do this!” the man pleaded. He wasn’t above begging on his knees, but Allison wasn’t about to give him the chance. Her gaze was sharply focused on her target, the view of her tightly grasped bow in her peripheral vision.

“Nous chassons ceux qui nous chassent.”

When Allison’s fingers let go of the bowstring the arrow flew smoothly through the air. The only sounds heard were the arrowhead piercing skin and the man wordlessly falling to the ground. The arrow went straight through his heart. Maybe Allison’s shot landed right where she intended. Maybe there was a metaphor in there. Allison checked her wristwatch, the numbers 6:45 shining back at her. An entire hour to spare.

Time to take out the trash.

I've cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene

The job didn’t take long at all and it was definitely one of Allison’s least challenging ones, but it still felt nice to take a hot shower and sit in front of her fireplace with a cup of tea. The fire served a dual purpose; the crackles of the burning wood soothed her like a lullaby while the flames licked around and destroyed her bloody clothes from earlier. All of her equipment had been cleaned and put away, positioned exactly as it had been before. Everything was the same, nothing changed or out of place. There was just one less heartbeat in the world that night.

Good thing Este's sister's gonna swear she was with me

On the second day of the trial,  Rebecca Baker’s lawyers were throwing whatever they could against the wall to see if something would stick. That morning they began to argue that Allison Argent might’ve abducted and murdered Justin Smith in retaliation for y/n’s disappearance. It was all speculation at best, but the theory unfortunately made sense to the jury. Before things could get too far, the prosecution called its first witness of the day to the stand.

“Mrs. Martin, where were you on the night of Mr. Smith’s suspected disappearance?” the prosecution lawyer questioned calmly. 

“I was with Allison at my house. We were having a girls night in, you can check my security cameras,” Lydia answered confidently. Lydia still had a pocketful of favors from her MIT days, so when the jurors were shown the clips from Lydia’s home security cameras, they saw exactly what they would’ve expected based on Lydia’s testimony. 

Truth be told, Lydia didn’t know anything about what happened that night; including Allison’s whereabouts and any details related to Justin’s alleged demise. All she knew was that Allison called and asked for a simple favor - an alibi for just a few hours. Lydia didn’t ask questions and Allison didn’t give answers.

Good thing his mistress took out a big life insurance policy

On the third day of the trial, Rebecca Baker took the stand. Her lawyers tried to help her as best they could, but the prosecution was ruthless. All of the evidence was circumstantial at best -  all parties, including the judge and jurors, knew that - but it was enough to make everyone reconsider the spotless image the defense had tried to create for Ms. Baker.

“Ms. Baker, is it true that you knowingly engaged in a romantic relationship while Justin Smith was married to and living with his wife?” another one of the prosecution’s attorneys began.

“Yes,” Rebecca replied meekly. Allison internally scoffed from her seat in the gallery. She found irony in the fact that Rebecca didn’t find any humility or shame in sleeping with another woman’s husband until she was under oath.

“Is it also true that within approximately a week of Mrs. y/l/n’s disappearance, you moved into Mr. Smith and Mrs. y/l/n’s house?”

“That is correct,” Rebecca said as she began to wring her hands together anxiously. The judge tapped his wrist watch and shot a stern look towards the prosecutor. The man nodded in response and continued to his final points.

“I’ll wrap up my questions for you, Ms. Baker. Can you confirm that shortly after moving in with Mr. Smith, multiple legal and financial arrangements and adjustments were made? And these new arrangements make you the sole beneficiary of Mr. Smith’s life issuance policy, assets, and investments?”

By the end of the prosecution’s final question, every jury member and spectator sat up straighter and waited to hear Rebecca’s response with bated breath. The blonde ball of nerves sighed defeatedly before turning to face the attorney directly as she answered his question.

“Yes, that’s true.”

“No further questions, your honor.” As the lead prosecutor returned to the plaintiff’s table, Rebecca’s attorney stood up to address the judge.

“Your honor, the defense would like to request a brief recess,” the defense attorney nearly pleaded. Though his poker face was much better than his client’s, it was clear that he was getting nervous.

“We’ll reconvene in 15 minutes,” the judge ordered with a stern glare cast towards Rebecca.

They think she did it but they just can't prove it

It soon became clear to Rebecca that the recess her legal team requested was nothing more than a “kiss your dignity goodbye” meeting. If she hadn’t been queasy before the recess was called, she definitely was upon re-entering the courtroom.

The rest of the trial seemed to move in slow motion for Rebecca. A few more witnesses were called to the stand, more lackluster evidence was presented, both sides made their closing arguments, and the jury left to discuss the verdict. After what felt like an eternity, the jury returned with an official decision.

Silence settled over the room as a single juror stood to address the court.

“The jury finds the defendant not guilty on count 1 of murder in the first degree based on lack of sufficient evidence. The jury finds the defendant not guilty on count 2 of kidnapping based on lack of sufficient evidence. The jury finds the defendant guilty on count 3 of insurance fraud based on…” 

The rest of the jurors’ statement sounded like white noise to Rebecca. She was just barely coherent enough to hear the judge deliver her punishment a few minutes later. $50,000 fine and 200 hours of community service.

Allison stuck around to the bitter end of the trial to hear the verdict in person. In all honesty, Allison didn’t want Rebecca to go to jail. It wouldn’t be right for her to serve time for a crime she didn’t commit, but Allison did find satisfaction in the fact that Rebecca would soon be picking up garbage in a fluorescent orange vest.

After the majority of the spectators had vacated the courtroom gallery, Allison leisurely gathered her things. Justice had been served to Justin, she personally made sure of that, and now justice had been served to Rebecca. The blonde and brunette women briefly locked eye contact as Allison made her way towards the exit. 

“You did this,” Rebecca whispered to Allison. Suddenly, it was like a flip switched within her. One moment she was numb, yet calm and collected, and the next moment she was screaming (literal) bloody murder and had to be held back by her lawyers.

“YOU DID THIS! YOU KILLED JUSTIN, YOU BITCH!” Rebecca cried, though her words fell on deaf ears. Allison exited the courtroom with her head held high as the courtroom deputy and defense lawyers did their best to calm the hysterical woman.

She thinks I did it but she just can't prove it

A week later the court case was still on Allison’s mind but the emotional scars had begun to scab. Healing was never a straight or smooth path, Allison had learned that the hard way over the years, but this was a start.

y/n’s landlord had been generous enough to allow Allison to gather y/n’s things before he cleaned out the house for new renters. As Allison walked through the home she once considered to be an extension of her own, she felt her throat dry out and tighten up. She hadn’t realized she was crying until she was wiping salty tears off of the picture frames she’d carefully picked up. Each photo unlocked a new memory, some even elicited a chuckle out of Allison amidst her tears.

A photo from y/n’s wedding day stood out among all the rest as Allison’s eyes jumped from frame to frame. It was a candid shot Lydia had taken while they were in y/n’s dressing room before the ceremony. y/n looked as beautiful as ever in her flowy white gown and Allison’s mulberry maid of honor dress complemented it well. As Allison put the final touches on y/n’s hair and makeup, y/n fastened the clasp of a custom necklace behind Allison’s neck. On a thin, medium-length chain hung an arrowhead from the first time Allison had ever tried to teach y/n how to shoot a bow and arrow. y/n failed miserably, but it was a cherished memory for both girls. Since that day, Allison had only taken the necklace off a handful of times.

Allison smiled bittersweetly at the memory and wiped a fresh tear off of the decorative frame before pulling her necklace out from underneath her shirt. She pressed a gentle kiss to the cool silver arrowhead and then to the photo frame, right above y/n’s styled hair. 

A feeling that Allison couldn’t quite explain flowed through her body just then; it was like taking a deep breath of fresh air after being stuck underwater or seeing the gentle rays of the sun for the first time after a hurricane, it felt like freedom. Allison felt almost as if y/n was right there next to her, with her head resting on Allison's shoulder and wrapping her arms around the brunette’s torso. In that moment, Allison somehow wordlessly knew with every fiber in her being that y/n was finally at peace. 

No, no body, no crime

I wasn't letting up until the day he died

a/n: AHHHH DID YOU LIKE IT? it was kind of a wild ride from start to finish and i definitely shed a few tears while i was writing it. please lmk what you think!

okay, now onto the writing process from hell: i started drafting ideas for the fic on dec. 21 or 22 of 2020, after i put together a mood board. i had written more than half of the fic when i decided i hated it and scrapped the whole thing on xmas eve (~3000 words 🤡). after that i was kinda in a rut and couldn’t decide how i wanted to end the fic so i ended up writing and deleting ~2500 words over the past month and a half. @demxters​ is an absolute GODDESS and helped me come up with the ending, so i am eternally grateful to her for that. if any of this seems a lil strange it’s probably because i finished writing it at 4:45 a.m. after working on it for 3ish hours straight. have a great day lovelies!

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[hockeylvr59]

Secret Love Part 16 || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: Super short transition chapter but a majorly important one. Here comes the fluff. It’s technically Saturday now which was when I had planned to post and I could use some serotonin so...guess that means you get it 12+ hours early. 

Warnings: none

Word Count: 1,546

~~~~~~

5 days. It had been 5 days since you’d seen Cale at your Canada Day party. It was silly and stupid, but this was the longest you’d gone without seeing him since he came home in May and you were going crazy. 

Your parents had left yesterday, but with work you hadn’t gotten the chance to see him yet. Having spent your entire day in meetings with clients, now you were wrapping up a three hour open house and you were exhausted. Just as you were about to pack up, you heard the door open again and you sighed, ill wishes for whoever decided to wait until the very last moment to show up flooding through your mind. 

Pasting a professional but ingenuine smile on your face, you turned to greet whoever had come through the door. When your eyes landed on a familiar broad figure and a set of rosy cheeks you gasped, your true smile quickly taking over your face. 

“What are you doing here?” You reacted, heart pounding at the sight of Cale standing across the room from you. 

“Thought my girl could use a friendly face to end her night.” Cale hummed. “I have ice cream in the car...wanna take a drive?” 

“Could definitely use a friendly face.” You agreed. “Let me lock up.” 

It only took you a few minutes to finish up, grabbing your things before heading out, the door locked behind you. Cale’s car was parked in front of yours and after dropping your things in your backseat you locked that as well before moving to where he was standing, waiting for you. 

His hands fell to your hips as you pressed up to kiss him, air filling your lungs as you felt like you could breathe again for the first time in days. 

“Let’s go before this ice cream melts.” Cale murmured against your lips before finally pulling away. Knowing that you could safely leave your car here until later, you climbed into Cale’s passenger seat, smiling at the cooler on the floor. As he drove, Cale talked about his day until he eventually pulled into a local park. You’d come here many times as children and the views were more appreciated now than they had been then. Grabbing the cooler, you let Cale lift you onto the hood of the car before he hopped up beside you. 

Handing you a pint of your favorite ice cream, Cale pulled out a second pint for himself. Chocolate...shocking. Giggling to yourself, you uncapped your ice cream and grabbed a spoon from the cooler.

“What?” Cale asked, his expression making you giggle even more. 

“You’re so adventurous when it comes to ice cream flavors.” You stated sarcastically. “I bet I couldn’t even get you to try mine. You hate strawberry.” You knew it wasn’t typical but you’d loved strawberry ice cream ever since you were little. Cale on the other hand, insisted that he hated it. There was no way he’d even taste the strawberry banana shortcake ice cream he’d brought for you. 

So when Cale’s spoon swooped over and pulled a large spoonful from your container, your jaw nearly dropped in surprise. Intrigued, you just watched as him he ate the bite, trying to read his expression. After he swallowed he seemed to be pondering and you waited patiently for some reaction. 

“Okay...maybe I was wrong…” Cale admitted after a moment. “That’s actually pretty good.” A triumphant grin spread across your face and you leaned back a little, basking in your tiny win. 

“Is it now?” You teased, popping another spoonful into your own mouth. “I’m so telling your mom about this.” 

“No need to be a braggart.” Cale pouted. 

“What?! This is a momentous occasion. I have been trying to get you to do this for 20 years! And every time you said you hated strawberry!” Cale snuck another bite from your container, just shaking his head at you. 

“I just can’t believe it took girlfriend status to get you to give in.” You declared, stealing a bite from his as well. Though you absolutely didn’t need to be eating a pint of ice cream, especially when you hadn’t had dinner, you relaxed on the hood of Cale’s car stealing bites back and forth until both pints were gone. And when Cale kissed you again after tossing the trash in a can nearby, you could taste the combination of strawberries and chocolate on his tongue. 

“I really needed this.” You murmured, hands sliding down along his sides as he stood in front of you. 

“I know.” Cale replied. “I did too.” He added, pulling you closer, your thighs spreading around his body. For a few minutes, you sat with him between your thighs just enjoying being together. But eventually, he stepped back, offering a hand out to help you slide down from the hood. 

Once you were on your feet, Cale pulled you across the parking lot to the closest playground. There he guided you onto the swings before starting to push you. 

“I remember when this was the other way around.” You commented, peeking over your shoulder at him. “And the time you tried to push me because you felt bad you were the only one getting to swing and you landed promptly on your ass because you were not prepared for impact.” Cale’s groan told you he remembered as well and you giggled again. “It was cute. You’ve always just wanted to take care of me.” 

Cale didn’t respond, instead just continuing to push you higher and higher on the swing, wind blowing across your face. When you finally got tired of swinging, you let your feet drag along the ground until you had slowed enough to hop off. 

“Do you want a turn?” You questioned, certain you knew the answer but asking anyway. When Cale shook his head, you turned to head back to the car, leaning against the side as you waited for Cale to unlock it. 

“That hasn’t changed you know…” Cale whispered, his hand rubbing against the back of his neck as he stood just a few steps away from you. 

“What hasn’t?” You asked, shivering as you felt the shift from a playful energy to a more serious one. 

“Wanting to take care of you.” Your tongue swiped over your lips as a soft ‘oh’ spilled from your throat. “Lately I’ve kind of been thinking I wouldn’t mind taking care of you forever.” 

Forever was a big word and you worked hard to keep your breathing steady as Cale crowded you against the car. 

“I’m ready to say it if you are.” He murmured, his fingers brushing against your cheek. “I don’t fully know why we’ve been waiting...but I’m ready. We’re not in Iceland anymore. This is our normal world. This is real life. And the way I feel isn’t changing...at least not in the wrong direction. 

“Cale…” You gasped out, tears pricking at your eyes. You honestly weren’t sure how long you’d dreamed of this moment but it was somehow something you hadn’t expected but everything you had all at once. “I’m ready too.” 

“Good.” Cale breathed, his lips teasing over yours lightly. “I love you, Y/N. I really truly love you. Not as just my best friend, but as someone I kinda wanna spend the rest of my life with.” 

“I love you too. Like I’m head over heels in love with you. This is a million times better than I ever could have dreamed, being with you.” You responded, your tears not falling far before Cale’s fingers swiped them away. 

“Think we maybe should tell our parents now?” He chuckled, the look in his eyes that you’d seen before now making complete sense. 

“Soon.” You breathed. “Give me a couple days to process the fact that you love me.” 

“Of course.” Cale agreed. “There’s no rush. After all...we’ve got forever for them to learn don’t we.” 

“Because you love me.” You whispered giddily. “And I love you.” 

“Yeah sweetheart...I love you. You’re never going to get sick of those three words I don’t think…” He teased. 

“Not falling from your lips. Directed at me.” Kissing him again felt different. Steadier, easier, open. There was nothing to hide from now. No holding back. 

A honking horn was the sudden reminder that you were very much in a public place and you buried your head into Cale’s chest as he laughed. 

“Our timing just continues to be spot on doesn’t it?” Cale sighed. 

“Eh...we can work on that...if that’s all we need to improve I think we’re doing pretty good.” You shrugged. 

“We’re doing great.” Cale replied, kissing you one more time before opening the car door for you. 

Somehow with Cale, all the little moments were also the big moments. An ice cream date had led to your first ‘I love you’s’ just like a night in with takeout had led to your first kiss. It was a reminder to never take a single day for granted because they were all important, they all meant something. 

And now you had a forever filled with little moments to look forward to. All with the love of your life by your side. 

[sk1fanfiction]

writing tag game

thanks for the tag @mistress-riddle!

WHAT FANDOMS HAVE YOU WRITTEN FOR (BUT NOT CURRENTLY)?

The Giver, Chronicles of Narnia, Ever After High

WHAT FANDOMS ARE YOU CURRENTLY WRITING FOR?

Harry Potter (lol one-track-mind)

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WRITING FOR?

Technically on-and-off since 2012 but everything prior to 2015 was utter trash and has been scrubbed from the internet.

ON WHICH PLATFORMS DO YOU POST YOUR STORIES?

FFN and AO3

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE GENRE TO WRITE?

Somewhere within the drama genre, but everything finds a way to turn into angst. Or, if not, hurt/comfort.

ARE YOU A PANTSER OR A PLANNER?

I have the soul of a pantser esp with oneshots, but I do try to plan longfics because otherwise I'll never have a consistent update schedule. So my longfics have backbone of planning and a flesh of 1 AM wait-what-if-this-happened?

ONE SHOT OR MULTI-CHAPTER?

Hard to decide. It's nice to finish stuff often, but I think I prefer multichapters (but they're very time-consuming).

WHAT IS A PERFECT LENGTH CHAPTER IN YOUR OPINION?

Depends. I think anything between 2k-10k is reasonable, but my sweet spot is somewhere between 3k-6k.

WHAT IS YOUR LONGEST PUBLISHED STORY?

Running From My Destiny by far. It's 157k with A/N's, 146k without (yes I do ramble that much). The next longest one is only 75k.

WHICH STORY DID YOU ENJOY WORKING ON THE MOST?

Probably RFMD, because it's also my longest ever and based very slightly off a fic I started in 2014 that was an absolute disaster fire and very unintentional crack-y but fun nonetheless, which is the absolute opposite of the tone of RFMD.

I also really enjoyed captor, sweet captor which is Tom/Ginny and also Ginny/Harry and the entire thing is inspired by Jean Cocteau's La Belle et la bête and also Gothic lit in general.

FAVOURITE REQUEST YOU HAVE WRITTEN AND WHY?

I've only written two oneshots on request (Quirrellmort and Mafalda Prewett POVs from the RFMD universe), so it's hard to pick between them.

ARE THERE RECURRING THEMES IN YOUR STORIES?

Angst. Or just relational tension in general. I think my fics are fairly varied such that I can't think of specific themes other than that. Miscommunication and secrecy, maybe?

CURRENT NUMBER OF WIPS

In publishing: 1

In draft: 3, 9 if you count the other parts of RFMD

In brain: many

THREE THINGS YOU HAVE NOTICED IN YOUR WRITING

1) I usually don't write two people just falling in love, I like them suffering from miscommunication, unrequited crushes, mutual pining but too stupid to tell each other, something else keeping them apart... yeah.

2) That I have a writing style? I don't know what it is, but all of my fics sound sort of similar, almost to the point where I'm worried they sound too similar but afaik it hasn't bothered anyone else so maybe so far so good. I love my em dashes. Maybe too much.

3) I'm very bad at visualization, like in my head, so oftentimes I have absolutely no idea what characters I'm writing even look like and most characters don't get a description other than a singular feature like 'a girl with pink glasses' or 'a man in an expensive coat.'

A QUOTE YOU LIKE FROM A PUBLISHED STORY

He's horrid.

He reeks of death.

She hates him.

And yet, she wanders around this dark, empty house with the wind whistling, the pale curtains fluttering as rain slams against the diamond-paned windows. Her plain white dress drags on the marble floors, and the heavy silk skirt weighs her down.

A QUOTE YOU LIKE FROM AN UNPUBLISHED STORY

Gellert — Albus likes him even less now that he is sitting at breakfast and has a name and a legitimate reason to be at Godric's Hollow — gazes at him and smiles, his eyes roving over the place below Albus's collarbone where he broke skin in their duel yesterday, and feeling inexplicably self-conscious and hot and bothered at the same time, he closes the remaining few buttons at the top of his shirt and sits, muttering a greeting to appease his mother's unwavering sense of propriety, so that he can ignore Gellert from now on.

tagging @viridianjester !

[robotgirlomatic]

Mother

Yesterday I tried to vent to my mom about how alone I feel in the household tasks. I am very pregnant and moving has been difficult and sometimes painful. My mom grew up with the mindset that household chores are solely women’s work and she has not been employed in almost 20yrs. She feels indebted to my step dad for his financial support and so even after she had knee replacement surgery she was doing the grocery shopping, cooking and laundry. In the past she has claimed that I am a nag and come off matronly towards my significant others the few times I’ve expected them to clean up after themselves.

So of course when I vented to her that due to pregnancy I was dreading all the things around the house that will need to be kept up with and needing Michael to step up to doing them - to which she felt it appropriate to question how sweetly, kindly and gentlly I was asking this of him.. (“Not exasperated or aggitated at all right?”) this is not a new issue I’ve asked him to do his part a few times and part of it is depression and I get that and most of the time decide my love for him overrides my irritation and do the silly tasks but in this one moment I wanted to be able to come home and not be expected to micromanage the mental load of having to ask him to do the dishes or laundry or garbage.

He’s an adult just like I am, it’s his apartment too and I will be in pain post labor. I told her I didn’t appreciate her tone and that I was trying to vent and didn’t like it being twisted into blaming me for how delicately I need to beg my partner to help me when I’m this pregnant - I shouldn’t have to ask he has eyeballs to see a full sink of dishes or an overflowing trash can. She then gave the most petty half hearted apology “Sorry you decided to take it that way”. I replied “sorry you don’t ever look at what you write and see how it comes off and instead blame me some more”. She then proceeded to ignore me.

This morning I got a call from my OB advising that she’d like to induce next week - I posted to fb and messaged my mother who proceeded to intentionally ignore it for hours. I went to my morning stress test and my high risk doctor was not happy with the low amount of movement baby girl was showing so she sent me to OB Triage (pregnant woman ER) for observation. They put me on multiple monitors which is when my mother finally graced me with her presence all she decided to write was that she was ignoring my comments and used a wow reaction face to my induction comment. I told her not to worry about it and that I wouldn’t message her anymore to which she responded by going off on a rant asking me to stop “Sticking Marxist terror campaigns” in her face and letting me know that she and my step dad had acquired a fire arm to protect them from the perceived Marxist terror that is Black Lives Matter... she told me I constantly posted thing that trigger her and that I was clearly easily offended and liked to play the victim by pointing out that I had just as much free speech as she did and that I’ve never voiced opposition to anything she’s posted even if I disagree since we are both adults and because I respect her. She persisted in berating me while I was on blood pressure monitoring which resulted in the highest readings I have ever given in my entire life. Doctors rushed in to hook me to IV and administer medication and I’ve since been admitted and have started the induction process.. all because her pride about apologizing and political view are more important to her than I am. I ended up blocking her entirely on Facebook for my own health and have spent most of today fighting back tears of anger that in the moment of child birth when I should have her support this is what I got instead. When my grandmother died I mourned hard because to me she was my mother and I wished more than anything that she would’ve been alive long enough to meet my children and that has been solidified completely today by the actions of my birth mother who acts like a fucking child.

I will not be telling her when this child is born. I tried to tell her I was at the ER but her screaming at me was far more important to her than my health. At this point she can keep grandmas house and I hope my cousin steps up to help her when my step dad dies because I want no contact anymore. I have been more than accommodating and silenced myself for 32yrs of my life, she has never cared about my real triggers and brings up rape everytime we talk even when there’s absolutely no context. I do not have a mother and it has been the longest day of my life. Keep me in your thoughts and if you have a good mom please hug her - what I wouldn’t give to hug grandma right now :(

[p-artsypants]

Longest Night (16) Struggling

Marinette had thought Highschool had been hard. Right now, in this moment, she'd give anything to go back to those petty arguments and gossip fueled drama. But she couldn't. Instead, she and Adrien were trapped here, being punished, humiliated, tortured, for being heroes, all broadcasted for the world to see. At least she and her kitty were in this together. For now. Whump!Fic

Ao3 | FF.net

Note: This chapter has brief mentions of the previous two chapters. We are in the viewer’s perspective.

—

Hawkmoth. We need to talk. —Salo.

Alya stared at the sentence over and over, her breath hitching in her throat. How could this happen? It couldn’t! It just couldn’t!

“I have to remove this link!” Alya stated. “Max, can I get on your computer?”

“Of course,” he stated, taking out his laptop. “It’s pretty obvious how she posted that. You are using a public server through blogspot, after all.”

“Can you prevent her from doing it again?” She asked, logging into her account.

“Of course. No problem.”

Incorrect username.

Alya clenched her fists. “That bitch kicked me out!”

“Now now, hold on.” Max assured, resting a hand on her shoulder. “Let Markov try.”

“Of course, this will be easy. One moment please.” Markov plugged into the computer, and in a few seconds, the Ladyblog’s dashboard appeared.

“Wonderful! I’ll change my email and password too. After I delete this post!”

It was right up top, in the most plain and boring formatting. Just a white box with black text.

“Huh.” Alya said aloud, staring at it.

“What’s wrong, Al?” Asked Nino.

“There’s no trash icon. No comment section, no share icon, nothing. I can’t edit it or delete it.”

“Allow me,” stated Markov again.

A red triangle with an exclamation point came up on his face. “Whoopsies, we don’t have access to the post.”

“Whaddya mean we don’t have access!? This is my blog, isn’t it?”

“Yes and no.” Said Max. “Everything around this post is your blog. But this box itself is not.”

“Huh?”

“Think of it…as Salo cut a hole in your website and has this in the background, showing through.”

“You can do that?” Asked Nino.

“Not easily, by any means. It’s extremely complicated. I’ve never tried it myself. No need to.”

“So…what do we do?” Alya crossed her arms, looking anxious.

Max screwed up his lip in thought, turning the laptop towards himself. He typed away, a next window coming up. In a flash of textual garbage, too complexed for anyone else to understand, he had a diagnosis. “Okay…well, the post has a slightly different URL, that’s associated with the blog. But it’s being hosted on a private server, which I can’t access. At least not yet. I can try to take it down, but it will take me a few hours, at least.”

“But we don’t have a few hours! Hawkmoth could see this post at any second!”

“I understand. The other thing we could do, is delete the blog in its entirety. Then the post won’t have a URL to associate with and will be unviewable.”

Delete the Ladyblog.

Alya felt sick.

What was two years of hard work in exchange for her friend’s safety? She still had all the videos, all the pictures, she could make a new website, right? One that got Marinette’s approval before every posting.

“Okay—“

“Wait,” said Nino. “Shouldn’t we see where the link goes first? What if it helps the police find them?”

Alya gasped slightly. “I’m glad you thought of that!”

“Markov, initiate Backdraft operations.” Max said.

“Backdraft initiated.”

“What’s backdraft?” Asked Alya.

“It’s simply a protocol I use if I think my presence is being tracked, or I may be counter hacked. It’s basically a fancy firewall.”

“Oh, I see.”

With the class gathered around, Max clicked on the link.

Another window popped up, with a loading wheel. It spun for a moment, then a big red ‘X’ covered the screen and the window closed.

“Hmm…how very interesting.”

“What the heck was that?” Asked Kim, resting his chin on Max’s head like a pest.

“Believe it or not, that was a video chat. But it uses facial recognition to get in.”

“So it’s not going to be helpful to us at all. Huh?”

“I can try to track it. Though it may be difficult since the page closes so quickly.”

Nino whispered as quietly as possible. “Didn’t the detective say he wanted to use your blog to help with the investigation?”

Alya scrunched up her face. Now she had to make two decisions. Stop Hawkmoth, or take the chance and maybe get a lead on Salo.

Any normal person would have gone with the absolute, but Alya was desperate.

“Leave the blog up. Do you think you can track the link?”

“I’ll give it my best shot.” Said Max, honestly.

Alya gave a twitch of a smile.

Something about her conversation with Hawkmoth earlier niggled in her brain. He had addressed her by her name, not as an Akuma. And when she asked him to leave, he left.

Of course, there was no trusting the man, that was obvious, but as far as villains go, she was much more willing to deal with him than Salo.

Alya shook her head. That was an insane thought.

Then the bell rang, and lunch was officially over. Alya and Nino found their seats, now feeling keenly aware that Adrien and Marinette were both absent from class.

“Oh,” said Nino, holding up a pink backpack. “She left it here. Adrien’s is here too.”

Alya smiled fondly. “We’ll carry them back with us.”

—

Miss Bustier was nothing if not understanding. None of the students had their homework done from yesterday, so she just cancelled the assignment. Alya and Nino weren’t given the missed work from this morning either.  

She had a feeling they probably wouldn’t be doing it anyways.

Alya had her phone out all day, plugged into a portable charger.

She constantly refreshed the page, hoping for something different.

But no. For hours now, Adrien and Marinette has been hanging by the wrists from chains.

Near the end of the day, Alya looked over to see Marinette speaking to the camera.

She rewound, found the time stamp and raised her hand.

“Yes Alya?”

“Marinette’s saying something! She’s speaking to us!”

“Are you sure?” Miss Bustier asked.

Nino was already next to her, looking at the screen.

“She’s looking right at the camera. I don’t think she’s talking to Adrien.”

“Can I turn on the projector?” Asked Max.

“Well…” Miss Bustier saw the first broadcast. She had turned away the moment Marinette was demanded to strip. She hadn’t watched anything since, and didn’t know if it was safe to show the students.

But looking around, she saw that they were all worried, and eager to see what Marinette had to say.

And so she nodded at Max.

In a matter of seconds, the website was up, and Adrien and Marinette’s states were now visible to the room.

There was a round of gasps.

No one had watched the stream this morning.

“Is that…is that Adrien?” Chloe asked, with choking breath.

Regardless of the state of room, Alya hit play.

Marinette looked around, and then looked directly at the camera. She gave a tired little smile.

“Hey,” she spoke in an absolutely broken voice. “If you’re watching this, you…you’re probably feeling a little hopeless. I don’t blame you. I feel…pretty hopeless too. I mean, I’m…I’m stuck. I’m not sure how I’m going to get out of this. But…but Ladybug always saves the day, right?” She glanced away, choosing her words. “My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I’m 17 years old, and my favorite color is pink. I’m the daughter of the best bakers in Paris, though I might be a little bias.” She smiled slightly. “Before I became Ladybug, I was a normal girl, with a normal life. What made me extraordinary, was my willingness to help others, and my kindness. So Paris, I have a favor to ask:

“Be helpful and kind. Go out of your way do something nice for someone once a day. If you can do this for me, then I know Paris will be safe until we return.”

“I promise.” Alya heard Chloe whisper.

She glanced over to Adrien, then off screen, and then back at the camera. “Maman, Papa...I’m really really sorry I had to hide this from you. I didn’t want to, and some days I thought about how much easer it would be if I just told you. How I could explain the lateness and absences, and my bad grades. But I just had to let you think I was a bad kid. It was for your safety, after all...but despite my best efforts, this still happened, and now you’re in danger. Please get somewhere safe. Leave Paris if you have to. I love you so much. I promise I’ll be out soon.”

Her brow crinkled, as she hesitated. Then, “Alya, I’m sorry too. You…you probably feel kinda betrayed right now. But, like I said, it was for your own safety. You were put in peril so many times because of me. How many more would that have been if Hawkmoth thought you knew my identity? After everything, I hope you finally believe me now...sorry, that was harsh. I...I’ll forgive you, if you forgive me. Deal?”

Alya broke down sobbing. If there was anything else to be heard, she missed it. Of course she forgave Marinette! How could she not? Marinette picked her as Rena Rouge, time and time again!

And what did she do in return?

Stab her in the back.

Some best friend she was.

“Al…” Nino comforted. “It’s alright.”

“It’s not alright!” Alya shouted, startling everyone. She hated how much of a mess she was. She was supposed to be a superhero, damnit! But at this rate, Hawkmoth would try to akumatize her again.

“She’s right, you know.” Said Miss Bustier, rubbing a hand under her eye. “It’s not alright.” She cleared her throat and spoke to the class. “I know things seem bleak right now. And it’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to grieve and to hurt. But it’s never okay to hurt others to make yourself feel better. That’s exactly what Salo is doing. That’s what Hawkmoth has done for years. I know it hurts, and things seem hopeless. But we need to listen to Marinette, to Ladybug. Go out of your way to be kind to someone.”

Alya breathed a sigh. Miss Bustier always knew what to say to make things better.

“Alya, can you come stand with me please?”

She nodded, getting to her feet. Up front, Miss Bustier hugged her, and held her around the waist, as she beckoned each one of her students forward.

“Alya, you’re so smart.”

“You’ve got a wicked sense of humor!”

“You’re really perceptive, and notice things that others don’t!”

“You always put in that extra bit of work to make a project look amazing!”

On and on, each student complimented her, as was custom in Miss Bustier’s class. But all of them were genuine, not just going through the motions.

Except maybe Lila, but still, it was hard to tell. “You are really dedicated to your blog, and put everything on it, to make it just right.”

Alya swallowed. That comment fell flat in comparison to the others.

Chloe came up, a scowl directed in Lila’s direction, then she grabbed Alya by the upper arms. “You are fiercely protective to your friends. No matter who they are. If you feel friendly towards them, you protect them. And that’s something I’ve always admired about you.”

Alya wanted to cry again, but she spared Chloe the satisfaction. “You’re just trying to be nice.”

“Me? Nice? As if!” She scoffed, but they both knew it was true.

“The reason we do these activities,” explained Miss Bustier, “is so that when you see someone having hard time, you take the time to cheer them up. It should be an automatic response.”

“For Marinette and Adrien!” Cheered Kim in the back.

“For Marinette and Adrien!”

—

After school, Alya and Nino gathered their stuff from their lockers. It was time to head back to the Agreste Mansion, for their own safety. Though, the temptation to go out and patrol was strong. Yet the heat was still on, and it wasn’t smart to risk it just quite yet.

“Alya?” A soft voice asked.

It was Choe. And she looked shy. Sabrina was no where to be seen.

“Hey Chloe,” Alya said pleasantly. It felt better to just be nice, like Miss Bustier suggested.

“I…” Chloe started, then she turned away. It took a few tries, each time she started differently. Then, she finally managed out. “I don’t know what to do.”

“What?”

“I…I don’t know what to do. Normally, when I want something, daddy just buys it for me. He takes care of everything. I’ve never been in a situation where I couldn’t have what I wanted. But…but I can’t do that with this. I begged daddy to save them. Both of them. And he tried! He talked to the chief of police and they got in contact with Europol…but basically…there’s nothing they can do. So…I have to do it myself. I have to save them.”

Alya scoffed slightly. “You can’t save them yourself.”

“I have too.” Chloe said right back, her daily stubbornness shining through. “You don’t understand!”

“Chloe…”

“I found the Bee Miraculous. Marinette dropped it, and I found it. Despite all my mistakes, all my insults and my cruelty, Marinette…Marinette let me become Queen Bee. Several times. She threw a party for me, when I felt like no one liked me. She went out of her way to help me reconnect with my mother. And…” She started to sob.

Chloe, it’s me, Ladybug. You can trust me, you can tell me the truth.

You have a purpose.

“She spoke to me in a way no one else had before. She was so…so nice! And she meant it! Only Adrien ever treated me like that! But I was never mean to him!” She sniffed and rubbed her eyes. “That’s why I have to save them! She has to know how sorry I am! How much I appreciate her! And how much Ladybug still means to me!”

Alya was touched. “Why you telling me this?”

“Because you’re the Ladyblogger, duh! You’ve got to know something! Don’t you have a hint to who Rena Rouge are Carapace are? Any way to contact them? I want to help them! As Queen Bee!”

Alya screwed up her lip. “And you don’t care about the attention of being a superhero in the limelight again?”

“Puh-lease, if I cared about attention, I wouldn’t look like this!” She gestured to herself.

Nino snickered. “I didn’t even think you owned a track suit.”

“How do you think I stay in peak physical form? By Instagraming all day?!”

“Still…”

“Fine! It’s Givenchy! Give me a break!”

Alya and Nino shared a look of understanding. Now was the time to use all the help they could get. Alya reached into her bag and pulled out a little black box. “Chloe Bourgeois. This is the Miraculous of the Bee. You will use it for good. Until such a time that Ladybug and Chat Noir are safe, you will keep it safe and protect it.”

“And you won’t put it on your snap story!” Nino added, harshly.

Chloe took the box, reverently. “Are…are you sure?”

“The guardian gave it to us, and told us to give it to you when we felt it was safe.”

Chloe, smiling, opened the lid, and a glittering yellow light appeared.

“Hello my queen!” Pollen sang.

“Pollen!” She scooped her up and held her to her cheek. Then she looked back to Alya and Nino. “When do we start our patrol?”

Alya laughed, happy to see Chloe so eager. “Soon. But we have some catch up to play.”

—

It had never been this hard to akumatize someone.

Granted, Chloe Bourgeois had put up a great fight. But it was nothing like this.

Hawkmoth had assumed Alya would be the perfect candidate to become an Akuma. In all the times he had been around her, granted it was only a handful, she had been absolutely devastated.

Lady WiFi had been amazing, and given her powers of pausing, she would have been great.

But, she was not cooperative. Sure, maybe he could have pushed her a little more, put on the pressure. But it didn’t feel right.

Nothing about this felt right.

And that’s what made him so conflicted.

Because we was willing to do whatever it took to get Emilie back. Exploiting people who were having the worst day, who were in unbearable pain.

So why the hesitation now? This was Adrien, the light of his life. The only family he had left. He loved his son, although he often had a hard time showing it.

He reached out to Nino Lahiffe, who, admittedly, was not as visibly upset as Alya had been, but his hurt was still present. Nino was unbearably calm as he asked Hawkmoth to ‘kindly f—- off.’

Next was Chloe Bourgeois. Surely she would agree, right? She loved Adrien!

Oh but she was nearly feral trying to get rid of him. She yanked on her hair and screamed and cried.

He left quickly, feeling her pain as his own.

He looked at Tom and Sabine, but didn’t have the heart to even try. Ladybug’s parents, now that was cruel.

He was beginning to run out of victims. Gorilla? Nathalie? Himself?

Lila Rossi! She was always ready and willing to be akumatized!

But then, he remembered with growing horror that she hated Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She may try to save Adrien, but she’d leave Marinette all alone to suffer. And that was almost worse.

He dropped his transformation, a dropped to his knees.

“Master? Please don’t cry.”

“I disgust myself.” He whined in the back of his throat. “Why…why can’t I do it? What makes this so different? Am I not desperate enough? Do I not love Adrien enough?!"

Noroo swooped in and nuzzled against Gabriel’s cheek. “You love Adrien plenty. Don’t beat yourself up over having sympathy for others in pain.”

Gabriel swallowed, digesting the kwami’s words. “I suppose...that means there’s hope for me yet.”

The elevator rose, bringing Nathalie into the room. “Sir, Madame Cheng has something to show you on the stream.”

“She found something?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then we’ll continue this later Noroo, let’s go.”

—

Sabine stood in the lobby, her phone in hand. Thankfully, the stream could be rewound to repeat anything that had happened. And so when Gabriel finally emerged from his office, she went to him, thrust the phone in his face, and pressed play.

“Notausgang.”

“Pardon?”

“Notausgang. Does that word sound familiar?”

“No...it sounds German though. Why?”

“It’s written on the wall behind you.”

“Like Graffiti?”

“No...it looks like it’s supposed to be there. Like a sign.”

“A German sign on the wall? You don’t think...we’re in Germany, do you?”

“I have no clue where we are, but...why else would there be German on the wall?”

“Well, maybe we’re still in France. Maybe not Paris, but Alsace-Lorraine or...”

“Notausgang is German for ‘Emergency Exit’. It’s everywhere in Germany.” Gabriel responded. “Not so much in Alsace-Lorraine. If there’s no French by it, it’s safe to assume they are in Germany.”

Sabine choked. “Oh no…no no no…”

Gabriel rested a calm hand on her arm. “Sabine, it’s alright. This is good. We know we’re looking in the wrong place, and we can tell the detective what we learned. Okay?”

She nodded, wiping her cheeks. “I just…they’re so far…I feel so helpless!”

“I feel the same.” He assured.  

And he did. Not only did he have no clue where they were in Germany, but his akumas couldn’t reach farther than Paris. Even if he were to go to Germany, he’d have to spend days hopping around from city to city. And that wasn’t suspicious at all.

Still…if that’s what it took.

First, they’d talk to the detective. Then they’d plan the next move.

[caitstandsforcaitlyn]

Triggering content

So, I know I don’t owe you guys any kind of explanation, so this is more a vent post than anything....

I probably won’t be much active here this weekend. The last hours have been the worst of my life, since I can remember. I’m having constant panic attacks for almost 6 hours, and this the longest I’ve ever had.

I really don’t know what to do anymore. A change in my routine caused this, and probably will last until monday. I’m feeling trash, I slept 2 hours this night and couldn’t sleep the whole day, because every time I close my eyes I have the feeling I’m going to die.

I know I promissed to reply to all my threads yesterday, and I did nothing but procrastinate, but now I really can’t work on them, because most of my threads will lead into a dark place that I’m not comfortable to be right now.

Though, I would appreciate if we could just talk here or on discord about silly things, maybe headcanons and stuff, I need distractions.

[poptarts-and-rainbows]

Life Update, 16 January 2019

This is a very VERY long post.

I mostly just needed to type some things out to make sense of them for myself and to put it somewhere, feel free to read it if you’ve got some weird morbid curiosity about my hot mess of a life or something, lol- but I got on to my actual laptop (very rare) just so I can add the cut to this to try to spare as many people as possible. 

Thank you for your patience, you will be returned to your regularly scheduled content shortly!

So yesterday was the day from absolute SHIT! Which is not a real saying, but work with me.

Anyways, it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, right? Like I got home and threw myself down on my bed and cried a little bit, legit like a Disney Princess.

BUUUUUT, after I logged off for the night, some surprising and good things happened!

At one point, after pouting for a couple of hours, I left home to go grab food and ran into two of my roommates very briefly as I was walking out, and then saw them again when I came home. During both of these instances we exchanged only the most basic of pleasantries (during which I was V E R Y anxious).

I’ve talked a little about it on here before, but I’ve been more or less avoid them for… close to a month (oops), because I was in a little bit of bad headspace/very stressed out about my perceived place in their lives/if they wanted me around anymore or if they would be better off without me, etc., TYPICAL garbage stuff that my stupid trash brain loves to over-analyze about and drive me crazy over.

Isolating is one of my favorite bad habits. I’m very good at it and have done it to various degrees many many times, even since I’ve moved to Washington (less than a year ago). Typically, an episode doesn’t last an entire freaken month (ok, 3 weeks), but on prior occasions I also normally had work 5 days a week, and we were just on winter break at school during this go around (ergo, no responsibilities to force me out of bed). But 3 WEEKS with like… 10 minutes of in person interaction every fifth day?? That can get to even the most introverted of persons.

Going back to last night- I ran in to two of my roommates twice, they acknowledged me and I did the same to them and made the general statement that the rest of the pizza I was leaving downstairs was up for grabs, and then scurried off to my room again, my tail between my legs, feeling like crap and a total TOOL. It’d been 3 weeks, I didn’t know how to just starting talking to them again, eventhough I have wanted to for a while.

I ate my pizza in peace (it was very disappointing… I ordered the wrong type of crust), and then I honestly think I blacked out a little.

One second I was standing by more door, trying to hype myself up to take my plate down to the kitchen, and the next thing I knew I was at the sink! With everybody else!?!! 

My boy roommate, Austin, teased me a little bit about seeing me outside of my room (he is my favorite, even though his girlfriend, Michelle, and I have known each other for 5 years and she is why I moved to Washington when I left the Army in the first place), and I made some, admittedly weak, comeback, and then busied myself with doing the dishes while they talked. I reacted at the appropriate conversation junctions and even occasionally I pipped up, but always very quiet and TERRIFIED.  

When I finished I could have scampered away back to my room again, just being downstairs with everybody else was more than I’d done in 3 weeks- every other occasion I had only run into each of them individually and only long enough to refill my water bottle- and I wanted nothing more than to go hide under my covers again, but I FORCED myself to go sit at that damn table and join them.

Simple enough, rationally, right? Not something a person is normally proud of… but that is something that is actually incredibly difficult for me, even at the best of times. I am close to unable to join any established social situations without a direct invitation because I always feel like I’m intruding- yes, even in my own house. Maybe a couple of surprised looks were exchanged, but they didn’t all immediately get up and leave, so I took it as a good sign.

It was mostly still them talking amongst each other, but I managed to add a few comments, and Michelle even talked to me a little bit (she isn’t always… super understanding of when I have these sort of issues, so I know she’s definitely mad at me at least somewhat, which is understandable and totally fair). Eventually she did go upstairs to do homework, but that wasn’t entirely unusually because she is a huge nerd/pre-med.

However, Austin ended up hanging out with me for a while! At first we just talked about school, but then I opened up a little and managed to explain, somewhat, that it wasn’t anything against anyone in the house, as to why I had been being a hermit, but that I’d been struggling with myself a little bit again. I didn’t elaborate too much, but there have been conversations about some of the issues I have sometimes before, so he told me he was just glad I’m feeling better.

I don’t know, this was really long (sorry if you’re on mobile and can’t skip the cut), but I’m just feeling really good about it and wanted to share somewhere. It’s not much, but it’s definitely an improvement over how things have been going.

One of the major reasons I’ve decided to give sobriety another serious try (besides that I come from a long lime of alcoholics and I definitely have a problem as well), is because I’m just… sick of feeling terrible and having to fight all of the time.  I’ve struggled with depression since I was probably 12, and alcohol typically makes those feelings worse- the depression, plus a genetic predisposition and turbulent childhood, etc., increase chances of alcohol abuse, and then the alcohol abuse can worsen depression, so on and so forth… it’s a vicious cycle, and I’m almost thirty.

I’m tired. I know some of it I won’t be able to fix, depression will probably be my little terrible asshole buddy forever, but I want to take responsibility for how I sometimes make my position worse (whether through self-sabotaging on “purpose” or by not putting in the effort to help myself in the places I have the power too). I want to move on to a healthier place, so I can not only maybe be happy, but also so I can maybe eventually share my life with somebody someday. I’ve never dated, because I put my friends through enough- this recent stunt evidence enough... I’ve never trusted myself not to hurt somebody I love like this too, and, you know, like I said, THIRTY. (Ok, I’m “only” about to turn 29, but close enough!)

This roommate stuff began like… just two days after my last drink (maybe that even influenced my perception of the situation that caused me to think it would be better if I just didn’t bother anyone, idk), but, because I’ve been exceptionally stressed about the roommate situation and potentially losing a very good long time friend (which may still happen, we’ll see), I’ve felt a little discouraged about giving up drinking. 45 days is the longest I’ve gone since I was 21 (with the exception of Basic Training, when I had no choice), and I don’t really remember how I felt at that time, but I hadn’t been feeling any better this time. Typically it takes 3 months for a person’s mental health to full recovery from the affects of alcohol abuse, but I expected to feel something and hadn’t been, but now I finally think I do.

I finally believe there just might be sunshine on the other side after all.

[canaryatlaw]

today was....mixed. it had some good parts and some not so great parts, and I’m leaning towards the not so great parts right now because I’m stressed of course and like....I really think I’m going to flunk the bar. like not being dramatic, I really think it’s going to happen. I wasn’t diligent enough in studying and I consistenly get a large percentage of the practice questions wrong and I can never recall the stuff even when I did study it and like....I’m so fucking stressed out about all of it and like, it’s the worst. but, let’s start with the beginning of the day. My alarm was set for 8:45, the plan was to get up and buy tickets for New York Comic Con when they went online at 9 am, then after that I would take a shower and get ready, then uber to church because I’m annoyed with my current public transportation options. well, that’s not exactly what happened. I did wake up at 8:45 and brushed my teeth, and was sitting at my laptop waiting for it to hit 9 am, and legit as soon as the clock turned to 9:00 am I clicked the link, and was set to a site telling me I’m in line and not to refresh the page, it will update when it was my turn. so I waited. I mean, I clicked it right away, how many people could actually be in front of me? WELL. turns out it was a lot. I legit sat there staring at the page waiting for it to update for over a half hour, when I legit clicked it as soon as it went on sale....and then finally at like 9:35 it updated and I was able to click through quickly and enter my information (you’re on a 15 minute clock to fill it all out) and was able to get tickets for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday as we planned. I had been talking to Jess while we were waiting since we’re going together, and she hadn’t gotten through yet and was kinda freaking out, so I did my best to comfort her until she got through like 5 minutes later. Well, at this point it was too late to make it to church on time, so fuck that, Jess was still freaking out a bit so I suggested we go get breakfast (I mean I first suggested that we go get ice cream but none of the places opened till 11, so then I suggested breakfast) at this little place that’s pretty much exactly at the halfway point between our apartments that does breakfast and we’ve never actually eaten there, so I got dressed and headed over there to meet up with her. It was actually not terribly hot out at that time of the day (it got horridly hot afterwards of course) so we sat outside and ate, I got french toast because I’m predictable and Jess got a veggie omelete because she’s also predictable, in food choices at least, and we talked about plans for upcoming cons and trying to figure things out, which is of course an ongoing conversation because there’s always another one coming, and of course she’s going to SDCC in like four days (which I am just absolutely so happy for her about and definitely not jealous at all) so we were talking about outfits and cosplays and figuring out the phone conundrum so she can actually have a working gps while running around an unknown city. So we had a good breakfast then parted ways, I was hot at that point and I had a bunch of bath bombs and bubble bars from Lush that I never actually used because I never really wanted to take a bath at night or had the time in the morning, but I had some time today and I figured it would be a good opportunity to use one, so I drew a fairly cool bath because it was so fucking hot and used a pink bubble bar, which of course turned the water pink. So I continued to take a bath, which included washing my hair, and since I used my color depositing conditioner on it yesterday it always washes out as like neon pink, and when that got combined with the already pink bath it became like, the most intensely pink bath that ever existed and I was amused lol. The live podcast episode I was on a few weeks ago was released today so I got to listen to myself on that, which was an odd experience, but I definitely enjoyed hearing myself rant about AvaLance and Sara Lance and why she’s my favorite character on all of tv, and then of course me trashing Elongated Man (I think the phrase I used was “I didn’t order this) and knock off Batman Green Arrow and how I now have to qualify my statements that GA is my favorite superhero with “NOT the Arrow version.” So that was fun to listen to. But I finished that and then went to studying, trying to knock out the lecture I had for today, it was like an hour and 47 minutes so not so bad. basically I’m going to try to do one lecture a day for the Illinois essay subjects that I missed by switching over late, so I’ll at least have something to go off of if I get a question based on it, because right now I don’t know jack shit about them, like one of them is commercial paper, what the hell does that mean??? so I obviously need to get that done. So I got through the lecture and then started working on the other review exercises when I got a message from Jess asking if I wanted to get ice cream because it was HOT and I’m weak and can never say no to ice cream, so I headed out to meet with her and then walk to the ice cream place. It wasn’t too crowded when we got there, but after we had ordered and paid there was a huge influx of people, like a group with about twenty children with them, so it looks like we hit it at just the right time. I tried their lemon meringue ice cream that I’ve considered for a bit now and I honestly wasn’t crazy about it, but oh well, it was still good because it was ice cream. So we sat at a table and ate our ice cream and talked for a bit before heading home because it was getting super crowded and we didn’t want to take up a table when we had finished eating. So, back to studying. I’m really bad at like, reviewing my notes to study because I’m so impatient, but it also makes me anxious because I know I don’t have any of this shit memorized and I’m gonna just be so fucked over. But yeah, did that and finished up the assignments for the day. I was considering doing another lecture since I had some extra time and I had thought I checked the fed income tax video and it was only like 30 minutes, but I must’ve checked the wrong thing because when I brought it up it was a full 4 hours and it was already 6 pm after a solid 8 hours of studying and like.....that’s not happening. But I kept the tab open to do some extra work when I got a chance. I had a few random things I had to do, my dad wanted me to review some blog posts one of the girls who works in his office had written because he wanted me to clean them up a bit. They weren’t anything extraordinary, it showed a bit of lack of knowledge on some of the finer points of law, and there were a bunch of awkwardly phrased sentences, and instances when it was apparent she basically used a thesaurus to get a more complicated word, except the meaning was off and I had to change it back to the simpler word that actually conveyed the right meaning. Then I did an article draft for when the legends trailer comes out for the podcast website, then finally updated the company tumblr which was WAY overdue, it had been 3 weeks, which I’m pretty sure is the longest I’ve gone without updating it (of course it didn’t effect the posts because it’s on a 6 posts a day queue) but if I let the queue deplete too much I can lose the system I use to queue the posts (I would try to explain it but it’s absurdly complicated lol). And I decided to watch Heathers the movie since I had nothing better to do and I’m quickly becoming obsessed with the Heathers musical cast recording and have been listening to it all day, so I figured I should see the source material. It was an interesting perspective to see the musical based on the movie first and then see the movie. I thought they actually stuck pretty close to the plot as far as those things go, the musical lifted a LOT of lines directly from the movie but I think they made it work for them so I can’t really complain about that. I do like that the musical gives us the part where we see how Veronica got in with the Heathers to begin with, the Martha friendship was the only other really major change, which I was kinda meh about because she’s not that big of a character. So I liked the movie a lot, Winona Ryder is awesome and she was a great Veronica. But after that I watched like two episodes of Nailed It before switching over to 30 Rock and then eventually getting ready for bed. I’m like, majorly tired now and my eyes no longer want to be open, so I’m going to close this out here. Goodnight darlings. Have a lovely Monday.

[artificialqueens]

It Just Hurts a Little (Biadore) - Whiskey Neat

AN: Okay I have a few things to say. First, this is for the person who requested a jealousy fic. This probably isn’t what you meant by jealousy but this is all I got 😂 Second, I switched from using Adore’s name to Danny’s in the middle of this cause it sounded better so I apologize if that’s annoying. And third, I used a few of Adore’s tweets in the story and I’m aware that there’s typos in them. I didn’t correct them because I wanted to have the tweets in the exact way Adore worded them. With that being said…enjoy!

“Bianca was in Seattle yesterday?” Adore asked herself as she scrolled through her twitter timeline.

She stared at Bianca’s tweet for a few minutes just to make sure she read it right. “Why didn’t she tell me?” Adore wondered, feeling a little hurt.

Adore hadn’t seen Bianca in a few months and to say she missed her would be an understatement.

She decided to shoot Bianca a quick text, on the off chance that she might not have left the city yet.

AD: Hey, you still in town?

After a few minutes of not getting a response, Adore decided to check Instagram. She lazily scrolled past pictures of her friends, liking a couple of Chris’s comedy videos and laughing at them, until a certain picture caught her attention.

Bianca had posted a photo at a café that was close to Adore’s apartment with the caption clearly stating that she had been hanging out with Bendelacreme all day.

“So she has time to see Dela but not me?” Adore bitterly questioned.

She closed the app and opened her messages again. Still no reply from Bianca.

Before she could stop herself, Adore quickly typed out another text.

AD: Unless you’re too busy to text me back now…maybe I should’ve asked yesterday when you HAD time :)

She instantly regretted that one. But she had the right to be mad, didn’t she? Her so-called best friend came to her city for a WHOLE DAY and hung out with someone else without even thinking to invite her. What would any other civilized human do in this situation? “Not fucking text them shit like that, you idiot. Shut up Adore” she mentally cursed herself.

She was scared out of her thoughts when her phone buzzed, causing her to almost fall out of bed. A text from Bianca flashed onto her screen.

BDR: No, my flight left this morning. I’m back in LA.

Adore’s heart dropped to her stomach. Bianca had really left without seeing her.

Before Adore had a chance to reply, 3 dots appeared, indicating that Bianca was typing another message.

BDR: Sorry I didn’t get a chance to see you…we had limited time.

“Limited time my fucking ass” Adore thought, rolling her eyes.

AD: So having “limited time” doesn’t apply to Dela then I guess?

Adore knew she shouldn’t be acting like this. But for fuck’s sake, they could’ve just invited her.

Luckily, Adore was interrupted by her cousin John walking into her apartment before she could say anything else to Bianca.

John wanted to go bar hopping and he wanted Danny to come with. Danny shut his phone off and shoved it in his pocket before grabbing his wallet and following John out the door.

They went to a few bars, sang karaoke, and took a few more shots than necessary. By the time they reached the last bar of the night, it was well past 3am.

While John was off talking to a friend, Danny sat in the corner alone, thinking about his texts with Bianca.

Danny knew she would’ve replied by now since it had been like 5 hours since he last checked his phone. Against his better judgement, Danny pulled his phone out of his pocket and turned it back on.

 He didn’t even check his messages, instead, going straight to twitter and letting the alcohol take over his brain as he typed out a few tweets.

3:53am

Adore Delano tweeted:

If you haven’t spoken to me in over 3 months continue it on.. I don’t want you in my life if you last that long out of it honestly. 😎

He waited a few minutes before typing out the next one.

3:55am

Adore Delano tweeted:

I mean it. Leave me completely alone if we haven’t talked it a few months. You’re nothing but highschool vibe trash. Forced to chill 4 work.

3:56am

Adore Delano tweeted:

If we only talk for work, delete number you’re ugly with life.

As soon as the last one was posted, a text from Bianca appeared at the top of his screen. That’s what he gets for letting Bianca have Adore’s twitter notifications on.

 BDR: Danny…

 Infuriated, Danny deleted the tweets almost as quickly as he had posted them, downing the rest of his beer and exiting the bar, muttering an “I’m going home” to John on the way out.

 As soon as Danny reached his apartment, his phone vibrated again. But this time it didn’t stop.

 “Oh fuck, she’s calling” Danny thought, questioning if he should answer or not.

 He decided he was feeling brave (thanks to all the alcohol he had consumed throughout the night) and hit accept.

 “The hell do you want, Bianca?” Danny said sternly.

 "Why are you making such a big deal out of this, Danny?” Bianca asked.

 “Why am I making a big deal out of it?! You’re the one who fucking came to my city without telling me a thing about it and never made one effort to hang out with me when you knew damn well how badly I wanted to see you”

 “Dan, I already told you, I had limited time there and I had to get everything ready for my show last night…what else do you want me to say?” Bianca said, the annoyance becoming clear in her voice.

 “You had time to hang out with Dela though, huh? You were with her all day, just chilling and drinking your boujee ass wine…I thought that was our thing…”

 “Danny we-“

 “No, don’t ‘Danny’ me. I’ve been trying to make plans to hang out with you and Courtney for the longest fucking time. Maybe you’d know that if you ever paid attention in our fucking groupchat. But you don’t. You’re always busy but somehow you always manage to find time for everyone but me. Even when you’re literally down the street from my apartment, you can find someone better to hang out with even though we literally haven’t seen each other in months. But it’s fine Bianca. It’s really fucking fine. I see just how important I am to you.” Adore ranted, drunkenly yelling at Bianca by the time she reached the last sentence.

 “What the fuck Danny? You know how busy I am. I’ve been touring nonstop for the past 3 years. I only get to see these other queens when I have shows with them. I hung out with Dela yesterday because we were in THE SAME FUCKING SHOW last night. I didn’t invite you because we had to make sure our set was right and we couldn’t have any distractions. It’s not my fault you and me rarely have shows together. You’ve been taking so much time off lately while the rest of us are WORKING. It’s not my fault you have so much time on your hands. And I am allowed to have other friends you know.” Bianca yelled back.

 Well that hurt.

Danny was silent for a long time. So long, that Bianca almost thought he had hung up on her.

He hadn’t though. He was just trying to process everything Bianca had said to him. That last part really stung. Especially coming from Bianca. But Danny didn’t want to fight anymore. He had started this fight so he might as well end it too.

 Bianca heard him take a shaky breath.

 “I know…I’m sorry. I just really miss you, okay?” Danny said quietly, his voice cracking a little.

 Bianca was taken aback. She had expected Danny to keep fighting, especially after that part about working. She probably shouldn’t have said that.

 Bianca didn’t know what else to say so she just replied, “I miss you too, Dan. I’m sorry things didn’t work out this time.”

 “And I’m sorry for overreacting…it’s just not fair that everyone else gets to be around you all the time and I don’t” Danny replied softly.

 “I know, but hey, my tour ends next week and I’ll have a few days off and we can hang out and have fun like we used to…if you still want to see me, that is.” Bianca said with an amused voice.

 “Of course I still want to see you, you fucker!” Danny yelled a little too loudly. He probably just woke up his neighbors…but fuck them…they’re assholes anyway. Danny was going to see his Willow soon and everything was suddenly okay in the world.

[umichenginabroad]

Go with the Flow

By: Dustin Fletcher, Aerospace/Mechanical Engineering major, German minor

Program: Technische Universität Berlin (TUB)

Alright guys, so I realized I’ve been posting for a while now and still haven’t talked about my classes. During the course of this program, we take a German course and an Engineering course. It starts off with having the German course in the morning from 8:30 to 12 every day in the first week, without the engineering course. The German course stays being 8:30 to 12 until the end of week three, when we finish the class. We had our first engineering class during the second week, which went from 1 til 5 after the morning German class. The schedule for the engineering was not consistent until we started week 4, when we started going to class from 9 to 12 and 1 to 5 every single day, and we pretty much just finished all of the class time for it yesterday (Friday week 5).

TL;DR I learned a lot while still having fun, ergo School = Fun

So first off, the German class. I was in the Advanced German course, so we spoke completely in German and talked about subject areas ranging from history to education to politics. We were expected to participate as much as we could, which really wasn’t a problem for me, since the way I learn is by actively participating. One awesome thing about this class was that we got to go on excursions into Germany, and unlike the other excursions we went on with the rest of the IPE program, these were completely in German. The two we did were the one in Kreuzberg that I mentioned before, and then we also made a trip to the Olympia Stadion. I don’t know about you, but I’m a huge fan of sports and everything athletic, so this was kind of like something out of a dream. Also with me being the wrestling nerd that I am, I just had to take pics of the large engraving that has the US wrestling champion!! Our stadium tour was in German, but there was a group of Danish people who didn’t know German that signed up for the German tour by accident instead of English. Our teacher jokingly asked if we would translate for them, and so of course I said yes. Well, at least to the best of my ability. Before this trip I had never really tried to take Germany and translate it word for word into English, so I learned pretty quick that it’s pretty dang hard. I ended up just waiting to hear the entire segment the tour guide said and telling them the summary, rather than word for word. I do think it’s pretty cool though that when I think of German, I think in pictures, rather than translating each sentence to English in my head. I think I need to credit my high school German teacher for that, so here’s a shoutout to Herr Brian Smith!!!

Olympic Champions at different weights in Freestyle wrestling (Ringen Freistil) and Greco-Roman wrestling (Ringen Griechisch-Römisch)

It’s too bad that the German class finished so early, since I was hoping to make a huge leap in my German abilities and I actually really liked the class. I’m not saying I didn’t learn anything, because I actually learned quite a lot!  I just have now realized exactly how much work my German needs to get me to the point of fluency. Yet another excuse to come back to Germany in the future!!

The engineering course I’m in is called “Aerodynamics of Experimental Road Vehicles”. This course was quite fitting for me, since I hope to either be an aerospace or a mechanical engineer one day. Currently I’m leaning towards Aero, but we’ll see what ends up happening. So the basic rundown of this course is that we take a model car and drill pressure taps into it, place it in a wind tunnel, and do all sorts of tests. Drilling the holes and attaching the tubes took FOREVER, since there were 37 of them, and then we needed to measure the position of each point in the x, y, and z axes, all by hand.

Pressure taps on the surface of the model car

Pressure taps on the inside of the car... there are 37....

Once we’re done with that, we modify the vehicle with clay in hopes to reduce the pressure drag that effects the vehicle. We also compare our results to that of the original, and now we are currently writing a lab report and making a presentation and poster. I can’t speak for the other courses, since I know basically nothing about them, but our class has been pretty rigorous. The first week and a half was pretty much crash-course aerodynamics, but rather than being lectured on them, we researched topics in groups and then presented to the other groups. In the course of a week, we had to learn about a semesters worth of  basic aerodynamics, as well as touching on a couple complicated topics. We needed to do this though, because otherwise the class itself would be near impossible. 

Even though the lab was pretty demanding, I really loved the course. We had an awesome teacher-guy (his name is Marvin, I can’t exactly remember what the job title is called though lol), and there were a total of 5 of us in the lab, so we got pretty close. We went through some frustrating moments, like recording meticulous data but not remembering what measurement it was for and needing to completely start over, and we went through some pretty great times, like when we finally got to see how much we improved the aerodynamics when we did flow visualization (as well as the aerodynamics of my head :D) 

It’s Difficult to see, but the curvy line over my head is the smoke trail for flow-vis

The lab reports that we are writing are with our team, but I decided to be a tryhard and write it on my own. No, not because I thought it would be fun to abandon my partner, but because I thought it would be a genius idea to write it completely in German. I got to my third page (725 words) and realized “Wow, this is already the longest thing I’ve ever written in German.” It was at that moment that I thought, you know, maybe I bit off quite a bit more than I could chew, and should actually do this in English. Especially since the report will be around 12 pages. But, I decided to persevere, and I’m at 10 pages!! Marvin has helped me out with a couple of the vocab words, since they’re scientific and I couldn’t find a translation that I was sure of, such as “Druckbohrungen”, which is what they call pressure taps, and “Strömungsablösung”, which means flow separation. If you were to look up flow separation, you’d end up getting something like Strömungstrennung, which does technically mean flow separation, but trennen is used more for something like separating trash, not airflow. It’s going to be difficult, but I just gotta stick with it and I think it’ll be worth it in the end.

A small taste of what I’ve been working on

Marvin’s been a really cool guy to work with with, and is actually a pretty great role model. He’s a hard worker, has his life together, and loves what he does. It was fun to ask him a question about flow dynamics and see how excited he got talking about it. He wasn’t just interested in us learning the “what”, but also the “why”, and would often run to the chalkboard and draw out picture after picture to help us understand what was going on. I honestly hope that wherever my education takes me, I find that same happiness and passion in what I do.

Aerodynamics of Experimental Road Vehicles, class of 2019 (and Marvin)

[kawaiifunhologram-blog]

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Since the Democrats are forcing Americans to buy health insurance?

Should the next Republican administration and majority force Americans to buy and maintain firearms?

How much would a Ford Puma cost to insure?

I'm 16, taking driving lessons soon after my birthday, and I'd love to get a Puma, I know insurance is a lot... But I thought that as it's a small, 2 door car, the price might drop a bit, if maybe the price is going to be quite high (Above average for a new driver) then please suggest some other cars that are cheap to insure :) But I would really like one of these x) Also considering fuel consumption and economy :) One of these - http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201228478314260/usedcars/postcode/bn72ph?logcode=kp :) Thanks very much""

How much should a Insurance CSR make?

I live in a little town in California, I have been working for well established Insurance agency since May 2012. I just recently got licensed so now I carry my P and C license. I am getting 12 an hour plus health insurance, am I being under paid? Im not getting commission even though I have brought new business in and have written policies. Your answers are very much appreciated. Thank you.""

""On average, how much is motorcycle insurance in Ontario?""

I'm 19, new rider, live in Scarborough Ontario. As a car driver, never crashed before Planning to get either a GS650F or SV650SA If possible could someone share their own experience on motorcycle insurance and how much it might cost. Some of my friends told me it's cheaper than car insurance while others told me its twice as much as car insurance""

Why has car insurance gone up?

I insured a VW Polo about 3 months ago. I got a good quote of 41 a month. We moved house to better neighborhood, and I can now lock my car in the garage overnight. Also the car is now less in use as I have access to a newer car which I use for commuting etc. The polo is for when the family really needs to make two different journeys at the same time. A spare car if you will. Now my cheapest quote is 85 / month!!! WTF? Why has car insurance skyrocketed in 3 months?""

What is the best and most cost efficient way to move?

We are moving from Atlanta, Georgia to Boston, Massachusetts. I was researching possibly renting a moving truck, but I'm having difficulty finding the best option. I was considering U-haul, but from other message boards, I got the impression that as the costs add up with insurance and mileage and whatnot, it appeared to not be the best option out there (or maybe it is in comparison to other companies, I am not sure). Does anyone have any suggestions or past experience with a good moving company? We are looking for the best price option, and possibly a company where we could pick up the truck in Georgia and drop it off somewhere in Mass. **the trip is roughly 950 miles""

Car insurance and full time employment?

After playing about on comparison websites I've noticed that with the same companies it's about 100 less if I am in full time employment compared to being a mature student with a part time job...why is this?

New driver and car insurance.?

I'm 15 and I turn 16 on dec 27 and I already have a car and I've seen a lot of car insurance companies commercials but I don't know which one is best. They say they offer great stuff but I don't know which one to go with. Please help me because I want to have my car protected I just don't know which car insurance company is the best one out there. Thanks for helping <{ *__*}>

Is it cheaper to only out me on the insurance for one night?

Is it cheaper to only out me on the insurance for one night?

Is there such thing as Bicycle Insurance?

When I say Bicycle Insurance, I mean that the insurance company will pay for repairs.""

""I own a 2000 chevy cavalier and im 17 years old and need insurance, about how much would that cost?""

Its small, green, and its a two door""

Car insurance?

got 12 months car ins due renewel in one month letter came thought door and it said ins cancelled 5 months ago but i did not cancel so really i been driving with no ins can i get full refund when i rang ins they said it was not cancelled but say so on letter the woman on phone said it was cancelled 1 month ago i said not bye me she also said the same to me and the manger going to look into it and ring back to day has not done so also they are trying to charge me 20 for cancellation and i think it should be void can i get a refund or sue them

Does fully comprehensive car insurance cover mechanical repair?

I am considering buying a car but have heard some worrying stories about engines needing to re-built and other expensive parts, if my engine went would my insurance cover the cost or would I have to pay out of my own pocket?""

Good classic car insurance proposers?

i have a Ford Fiesta L 1979 and l would like to know some cheep classic car insurence

What is the cheapest online car insurance in the market today?

What is the cheapest online car insurance in the market today?

""In Connecticut, Return Licence plates first? or end car insurance first?""

ANYONE WHO KNOWS ABOUT CONNECTICUT DMV & POLICIES! HI, i'm trying to take my car out of my insurance, do i return the plates to DMV or end insurance first???? helppppp""

""With such huge car insurance prices, how often do you pay them?""

I was looking online at car insurance and they say the average is 880 but expect anything from 1 to 2 thousand dollars. That's a lot of money!! Do I pay that every month or is it broken down into monthly payments. Or do you just pay upfront all that money. Oh, by the way what would a female driver that has never driven before in her 20s probably have to pay? If you don't know that's okay... I was just wondering about estimates..""

Best Car Insurance For ME?

I am nineteen years old, have a child, am married, and am in college. Does anyone have any recommendations on CHEAP car insurance? I plan on getting a used vehicle that I can pay cash for on the spot.""

""How cheap can car insurance go, and how long does it take to reach it's cheapest, how much do you pay?""

How cheap can car insurance go, and how long does it take to reach it's cheapest, how much do you pay?""

Is private health insurance cheaper in Louisiana or South Carolina?

Is private health insurance cheaper in Louisiana or South Carolina?

Am I paying too much for car insurance?

IM 19 years old, I pay $100 per month with geico, I have not had any speeding tickets, I have not been in any accidents, I had my license for about a 3 - 6 months now, I own a 1997 ford Taurus. Am I paying too much for car insurance?""

Best insurance company for a jewelry store?

I need and insurance company to insure my jewelry store. So far I found jewelers mutual but they're expensive.

""Can you fully pay off car insurance with one payment, instead of monthly or yearly payments?

can you pay off car insurance with one time payment ?

Car insurance?

Does your car insurance have to be under the title holder's name? And as far as that goes...does the title have to be in the name of the person with the loan? If it does, can there be another person on the title who isnt part of the loan?""

Health & dental insurance?

I'm 20 years old and I am in bad need of insurance. I really need dental insurance because I need a root canal and when I turned 18 and could no longer be on my mother's insurance I had no choice but to not get the root canal. And I desperately need it done. Where can I go to find quality but affordable health & dental insurance for my age? I live in Alabama.

What are teenage driving insurance rates for girls?

whats the cheapest in illionois? do i have to have insurance while driving w/ a permit??

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-auto-insurance-rates-based-why-do-some-companies-savoie-santa"

[flauntpage]

Simply Not Enough: Five Takeaways from Jets 3, Flyers 2

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  Well… they scored. Twice actually.

Not enough.

Nolan Patrick returned to the lineup from his “upper-body injury” for the first time in nine games. That’s a plus.

Not enough.

Brian Elliott had another really good start – that makes five in a row for him.

Not enough. 

Much maligned to start the season, the one other thing that has been pretty steady for the Flyers in recent games has been their defense, and they were relatively good again last night.

Not enough.

Hey, they earned a point on the road against a good team in a difficult building in which to play.

Not enough.

But Radko Gudas looks like he’s going to be suspended for slashing someone in the neck – although the referees didn’t give him a game misconduct until after seeing a replay – which isn’t allowed.

ENOUGH! On both fronts.

Yes Flyers fans, this was another frustrating one-goal loss. They seem to be paramount these days. Much in the way one-run losses crippled a last-place Phillies team this past season, they’re starting to plague the last place Flyers a little now too.

And maybe that’s just the sign of a team that’s getting closer and just doesn’t have that killer instinct to put a game away.

Or maybe it’s a sign there isn’t enough talent on the team to get it done.

Either way, things aren’t looking very hot for the Flyers right now, and at some point, someone is going to have to identify where the issue is for a team that has stagnated both in style and philosophy.

But for now… to the takeaways.

1) Drought’s over… sorta

It didn’t take long for the Flyers to snap their goalless streak. All of two-and-a-half minutes actually:

The Flyers scored. http://pic.twitter.com/YwyUkq0nsx

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) November 17, 2017

And then they scored again, less than three minutes later:

POWER. PLAY. GOAL. http://pic.twitter.com/Q9OnFd2ot8

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) November 17, 2017

But what do you see on those goals? Here’s a clue: it’s something familiar.

That’s right. They were scored by the usual suspects. Jake Voracek and Sean Couturier with Claude Giroux involved in the action.

Voracek’s tally snapped a 158:36 span of hockey without a Flyers goal. They were starting to sneak eerily close to a franchise record for an inability to score, and only came 41 minutes short.

But there’s a more daunting number that still exists:

263:23

That’s how long it’s been since a player – any player, defense included –  other than Voracek, Couturier or Giroux scored a goal. That’s more than four games. It’s more than 13 periods.

It’s unacceptable.

Something has to give. Dave Hakstol has to stop waiting for it to happen and he needs to break up his top line. It doesn’t need to be a permanent breakup – just until the offensive flow can start to regenerate through the lineup. But it needs to happen.

But how do you do it? How do you mix and match and keep lines equally responsible defensively as offensively?

Let’s break it down.

  2) A new lineup

First thing’s first. There’s a clog at right wing. Voracek is a lefty shot, but doesn’t like playing left wing. He prefers the off wing. Always has, always will.

I remember former Flyers coach Craig Berube telling me once that if Voracek was willing to learn how to play the left side, he would have much more lineup flexibility.

When I asked him why he just didn’t put him over there and force him to learn, he just gave me a glance and said, “I want to keep my job.”

Well, he didn’t keep it much longer after that conversation.

I wasn’t sure if that meant Voracek had former GM Paul Holmgren’s ear, or word came down from above to Berube that Voracek had to play right wing, or what the case was, but Voracek has remained on the right wing since Day One in Philadelphia, and it doesn’t seem like that’s going to change either under the Ron Hextall/Hakstol regime.

So, who do you move off the top line?

Well, Voracek. Quite simply because you need to plug another right wing there since he has to take a right wing spot in the lineup somewhere.

Conventional wisdom would tell you to put Wayne Simmonds there, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. First of all, Simmonds is in the second longest stretch of his Flyers career without a goal (11 games), so he’s pressing a bit. Not to mention, he’s still likely not completely recovered from a groin injury that has been hounding him for a month.

But most importantly, he changes the way the line is playing.

Simmonds isn’t a playmaker like Voracek. He plays a game too similar to what’s working for Couturier right now – go to the net and make things happen in front.

With two guys like that on the top line, it leaves Giroux as the only creator, and defenses would clamp down on him and force others to create the offense – which they wouldn’t be able to do with any regularity.

No, instead, Giroux and Couturier need another playmaker on the other side.

Enter Travis Konecny.

The young winger has speed to burn, is incredibly creative and is an offensive risk-taker, often forcing defenders to make a quick decision, sometimes one they don’t want to make.

His skating ability will still give Giroux some room to operate on the left side and not clog the middle for Couturier.

Now, Konecny is still prone to defensive lapses – and I know that’s what frustrates Hakstol about him – but playing him with Couturier, who is one of the top five most defensively responsible forwards in the entire NHL, will help cover for those occasional errors in judgment.

He also doesn’t have Voracek’s heaviness with the puck, which could affect puck possession a little bit, but there has to be some trade off to improve the lineup elsewhere.

Now the second line is where things would get really new.

With Patrick back in the lineup (more on him in No. 3 below), I’d love to see a line full of creative types play together, especially if you can coach it in such a way to keep them away from the other team’s top scoring line via a smart deployment strategy. Maybe give them only offensive/neutral zone starts. Maybe make a quick line change if the top unit from the other team is out there against them. Whatever… be smart about their use 5-on-5 and you could end up with something special here.

That combination would be Jordan Weal, Patrick and Voracek.

Again, three different styles, but if you want to instill confidence in Patrick’s game, and get Weal more chances to score, you play them with one of the league’s best assist men.

So where does this drop Simmonds?

Onto a third line I love for grit, puck possession, energy, and reliable defense that you can throw out with confidence against the other team’s top unit without much worry.

This line would be Michael Raffl, Scott Laughton and Simmonds.

Yes, I know I’m breaking up the best fourth line in Flyers history, but again… we’re talking temporarily here.

And yes this diminishes Simmonds scoring opportunities a bit, but it puts him into a role where he doesn’t have to press as much, and can still get to the front of the net. Put this group out there when Shayne Gostisbehere is on the point, or even Ivan Provorov, guys who know how to get the puck to the net, and watch them collect the trash and put it in the bin where it belongs.

Not to mention, Simmonds creates space and Laughton and Raffl are good enough to make things happen with a little room.

Finally, the fourth line, using players that are here mind you and not elsewhere in the organization, would be Dale Weise, Valtteri Filppula and Taylor Leier.

This isn’t a brutal fourth line and actually has a little bit of skill with Filppula and Leier that can take advantage of the fourth line of the opposition.

Ultimately, I’d like to see Mike Vecchione of the Phantoms get a chance here in this spot, but if we’re using what’s on this team right now, this is what I’d go with.

I could also swap Weise with Matt Read and not be disappointed. I don’t want to see any more of Jori Lehtera. I’ve seen enough.

Point is, something needs to change. Because this is one of the most dreadful scoring droughts for 15 of 18 forwards I’ve ever seen.

  3) Patty’s back

Patrick returned to the lineup for the first time in almost a month for the Flyers. He did so in his hometown of Winnipeg. He started on the second line, but didn’t play much. just 7:32 of ice time. He didn’t look especially good or noticeably bad. He just existed.

The thing is, he didn’t miss all this time with his “upper body injury” – a.k.a. concussion.

No, he could have played sooner. The Flyers just wanted to work on his game with him. When you hear a 19-year-old player say the things he said, I can assure you he is parroting what his coaches are telling him.

Here’s what he told the Courier-Post’s Dave Isaac before yesterday’s game:

“I think I need to move my feet a little more. I think too much out there. I was thinking instead of moving my feet and making plays. I think I need to contribute a little more offensively and stay good defensively and keep improving on faceoffs. I think those are the main things.”

Yeah… it wasn’t the concussion keeping him off the ice. It was the slow adjustment to the NHL pace.

Patrick will ultimately be just fine. The Flyers are going to baby him a little bit and only use him in certain situations, but it’s good to have the No. 2 overall pick back in the lineup. He just needs to start showing everyone why he was picked there.

  4) Steady goaltending?

Those two words are rarely used together in reference to hockey in Philadelphia, but, for a few games at least, Elliott has been really strong for the Flyers.

Brian Elliott coming up big again. http://pic.twitter.com/hrrMvn1VKy

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) November 17, 2017

O.K. he didn’t look great in the shootout last night, but most goalies don’t. But in the game, he was excellent again. He made another 31 saves.

In his last five games, he’s allowed just seven goals (1.39 GAA) and has a .954 save percentage. And yet, he has only one win in that stretch.

That’s a tough break. But, he’s keeping his team in every game. He has to with the ineptitude in scoring. I expect he’ll be back in net tomorrow against Calgary, since he was the Flames goalie last year, and probably doesn’t get a game off until next week, when the Flyers play three games in four days around Thanksgiving.

He’s been a recent bright spot for the team while the struggles have been so incredibly noticeable elsewhere.

  5) Gudas and the Stripes

Sounds like the name of a bad bar band, no?

O.K. first, here’s the play – which is definitely a penalty and probably deserving of some league discipline, especially with Gudas’ reputation:

Radko Gudas has been given a game misconduct for this play.

What do you think of the call? http://pic.twitter.com/tTL5rQnF6E

— NBC Sports Philadelphia (@NBCSPhilly) November 17, 2017

One could argue that it was just the way Gudas came down and landed on the back of Mathieu Perrault’s neck. But, you still need to be in better control of your stick there.

Gudas has dodged suspensions before, and maybe he does again here – especially since the league isn’t as quick to hand out suspensions if there weren’t injuries involved, which is stupid, but hey.

However, I think Gudas gets one here. It may be just a one game suspension, but I think it’s a send-a-message type pf suspension.

Gudas has regressed so far this season after having a very good showing for the Flyers last season. Andrew MacDonald is close to returning, and when he does, it might not be a bad idea to sit Gudas for a game or two to make him remember that he plays precariously close to the edge. When he stays on one side, he’s effective. When he plays on the other side, he’s reckless and ineffective.

But the grander scale issue here is the scoreboard officiating.

Now, full disclosure, I didn’t watch the first part of the game live. I went back and saw it on DVR after the fact, but I didn’t need to see what happened more than once.

The penalty was originally called a slashing minor on Gudas. But then, the in-arena scoreboard showed the replay of the video, the officials looked up and saw it, huddled together and decided to change the call to a slashing major and a game misconduct.

That’s not allowed.

You can not use replay to change a call – and yet these guys did.

They tried to explain to the Flyers that they didn’t, but that was some serious B.S.

Once again, Dave Isaac from the Courier Post was all over it and reached out to a league official (I’m pretty sure I know which one, because there is one who answers emails during games all the time – and he would be the right person to go to).

Here’s what the official told him via email:

“The Situation Room is unable to confirm the exact sequence of events which occurred between the officials on the ice.”

Translation: Yep. They looked at the video.

That’s a disgrace. The league needs to stop protecting these guys from continued abuse of the rule book or finding loopholes in the rules to justify their poor decisions. There have been far more egregious mistakes in the first 19 games of this season than I can remember.

Whether they ultimately got the call right or not is not the point. The point is, allowing this to happen sets a precedent for the future of the game – and a bad precedent at that.

Not only does the NHL need to do something about this, but they need to address it publicly, otherwise they will be continued to be viewed as a flim-flam operation not just by me, but scores of other writers and fans of this sport.

  Simply Not Enough: Five Takeaways from Jets 3, Flyers 2 published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

[unstressessary]

Negatively Positive

I thought about turning around with this blog and trying to post only positive thoughts and anecdotes, but I’ll be honest, it’s not really my style. I understand I need some more light in my life but I’m not going to fake it until it’s made. The whole point of this blog is for me to look back and remember that how I feel is valid and that there are reasons I’m sad and upset and short tempered. 

Yesterday, my bosses and I (I work in a law office) had to travel about 20 miles to a client with Stage 4 liver cancer’s home to sign his Will. We saw him last week for his Will consult and he was walking (obviously in pain and VERY yellow) and talking. Yesterday, he was curled over a trash can, barely said anything, his skin was even more yellow and he didn’t seem to have much motor function. He was able to sign and acknowledge what was happening, but it was obvious because of not only his appearance but his family’s that he wasn’t doing well at all. 

We just found out that he passed away morning. 

This guy was a total stranger to me, but it still makes me feel dizzy. I just spent most of my morning planning out my class schedule for the fall. That guy spent his morning dying. I know it’s not an easy or natural thing for anyone to think about but for some reason it really fucks with me. Yesterday was exhxausting and a little too close to home (re: my dad’s situation) but finding out today that this guy died less than 24 hours after we left him is a little too much. I know it’s part of what my office deals with but it seriously feels like it’s everywhere around me right now and it’s unstoppable. 

Physically, I feel exhausted. I feel a little disoriented, almost like I have tunnel-vision or those horse-blinder things. I was hoping to get into something creative or organized today, but I’m going to go home after work and nap. I’m going to eat a big fat weed cookie and pass out for a while. I need a shut-down.

This funk I’m in isn’t going anywhere. It’s by far the longest I’ve felt this out of control of my own emotions. I was given a depo shot a month ago and I almost wonder if that has something to do with it.. It’s not like I feel moody, I feel LOW and it’s impossible to move upward on my own. And I don’t want any help doing it either. I’ve been around friends for the last week and a half and it doesn’t help much either. I love seeing them, especially since they’re all so far away.. but it’s just a distraction. An emotional pause button, if you will. I talk about these traumatic things with them, but I don’t want to spend what little time I have with these people possibly ending up in a sobbing heap. It also makes me feel bad for my S/O. He is a fucking sponge, I tell you what. He soaks it all up and while he’s not super sympathetic, he is the stability in my life. I don’t give him as much credit as I should. Have I always been this selfish? 

I’m going to make an effort to be positive. At least a little bit. I found a list of topics/questions to write about when you don’t know what to write about. The first on the list was “What gets you excited about life?”

I’m excited about travelling. I’m excited to be out of my comfort zone and into something new and unseen. I’m excited for the day when it all comes together and I don’t have to worry about if I’m doing the right thing anymore. I’m excited to see my nieces and nephew and brothers grow up. I’m excited about seeing the sunshine and excited to know I have friends all over who can show me new things. I’m excited knowing that when I have the motivation, I have the supplies to make something meaningful and beautiful. I’m excited to continue to look inward and actually consider what I mean to myself.

I’m excited to continue my life.