#long way from seeing herself as failure in her relationship with him ffs

[mihrunnisasultans]

Look, look! Blood is dripping from this dome! Even rivers and oceans cannot clean your hands from all the blood.

Happy (belated) birthday Plami! @mc-critical

[ignitification]

Cold Flame

Cold Flame

A brief explanation of how Rei and Shouto's evolution have to do with the return of Touya Todoroki.

tw: mentions of violence, mentions of suicide, mental illness

1.) I think these two panels tell a whole story of its own.Touya mentions how “The only thing he taught me was how to turn up the heat” referring to Endeavour. This sentence blatantly refers to the accident where Touya’s flames could not be stopped, because his strive to show his father that he is indeed someone to be proud of, has been ignited and then never shut down. Endeavour took Touya, lighted up the flames in Touya (both metaphorically, in his drive and strive to be a hero, and be his father’s hero - and literally, to bring out his fire quirk out while training), and then tossed Touya aside. Rei, on the other hand was not capable to stop him: whether this references to his training regimen, or to him chasing Endeavour, or even his dream is highly unclear - but the sole fact that Touya blames them both (because he feels like he has been bred for this goal, and Rei agreed to it, and then had not enough power to actually put an end to this nightmare) and he is partly right, because this has hurt more people than it was supposed to and that it was necessary. Rei does not know how to stop his kid from getting hurt, which is getting her hurt in return. In this panel, she looks frightened, offended, desperate to grab at Touya (who is silently and slowly slipping further away from her and her grasp) but she cannot. Now, I am not going to go further in this, because Rei not saving Touya is a partially incorrect statement, as yes, she could have done something if herself was not in a very bad place in the first place and if actually everything that happened between Endeavour and Touya did not hinder not only the relationship between Touya and Enji, but as well the one between Rei and Touya (as he see him rejecting her, because Touya knows why he had been born and probably has been influenced into thinking that his mother is weak, as she cannot fend for herself and just blindly accepted whatever Endeavour put in front of her, and not because she did not know any better, but because she did not know how).

2.) The jealousy an older sibling feels towards the newborn is completely normal, because the span of attention given to older siblings usually decreases. But here we are talking about two kids, breaded and raised to be vessels of their’s father dreams. This is an extreme scenario, where the competition between sibling is not about skills or quirk, but instead Touya sees it as a way to regain the lost affections/attention, which since Shouto has been born have never been sent towards him. And the fact that the birth of Shouto triggers in Touya’s the abysmal feeling of being a mistake, tells us that the parents did nothing to let him feel better, or to understand that it was not that way (even if arguably, Endeavour had other kids just because he wanted a perfect kid, which means that at the end of the day, he did consider Touya a mistake). And the fact that Touya was been willing to go this far, as far as to injure himself, as to emotionally condition himself into turning his flames from red to blue, is not only a sign of the mental pressure he put on himself and his emotions (always fuelled by that grating feeling of feeling less, worse, not right), but as well of the constant disappointment he felt when his father paid attention to him while scolding him, being angry at him, scowling and not making any effort. This angry, dark face is what shapes Dabi’s memories of Endeavour - an expression he wants to wipe out of his mind because it reminds him of not being the victim of shitty parenting, but of being considered a failure, worthy to burn to death,  alone.

And these two. 

2.5.) The ‘If only..’ hurts. Because this means not only that there was a chance that Touya did think about it, but he considered it then and there - because it was too much. Because even now, it is too much for him. Rethinking about all this moments is crucial for both Endeavour (who’s memory is definitely triggered into remembering gruelling details of his behaviour towards his children of when he was younger) and Dabi, who instead wonders whether the path he took, the decision he made all those years ago and that brought him there, was actually worth it. Because when Touya died, and Dabi was born on that hill when he was 13, he made the decision to take revenge and actually prove to his father that he is not a failure. He instead, is such a big mistake that Endeavour cannot cancel him anymore. Touya wanted desperately to be noticed for being right. Dabi wants desperately to be noticed because he is wrong, and a big mistake (which is also the result of Endeavour being his father and whatnot).

2.6.) And this. It’s the realisation that Endeavour is sowing the grief and pain of his oldest son, but it is also a realisation for Dabi: he took a decision, which he is sowing now (along with all the murders and the pain he himself inflicted). Memories which are more painful, and the fact that Dabi’s only comments on the accident is actually that it was scorching hot and that he couldn’t stop is very alarming and sad. He says nothing about how he felt. He just admits to the consequences of that gesture. He is not thinking of how much pain it was, or how sad he was, or anything else but just that this event was what made him into the person he is now, and there is no going back. He maybe thinks that things might have come out better if he actually had died that day. But he never talks of what is happening inside himself, because Dabi cannot allow himself such a weakness. And so, he feels nothing.

2.7.) These two panels (below) give me chills.They are so similar in the feeling they give up: desperation, realisation, hope, terrifying anger and sadness, elatedness in knowing that there is something to hang off, that maybe now the right moment has come. And it’s a sort of revival, a feeling brewing for so long and finally exploding in the hate, and the will to drag his father down in the mud with him.

3.) Rei's involvement, in Touya’s upbringing is a problematic topic for two reasons: she feels guilty about it, and her mental state which has been deteriorated by her family and her husband, does not allow her to even look for an excuse, as Endeavour did. Instead, Rei has been driven to a point where she just wants to let go. 

I think that here, Rei, plays a very big role: she is stuck between a husband she cannot take on by herself, and a child who wants nothing to do with her because of her actions (which are inherently caused by Endeavour). And her mental health further deteriorates. Rei looks distraught. I would say even fatigued, and weighted down by everything that is happening, and how she cannot and does not want to deal with it. 

In the hospital room, in Chapter 300, when she comes back and tells Endeavour that he is not the only to have suffered, she is not only referring to Touya, but to herself as well. I think it is important to note how the change happened. For both Shouto and Rei, Touya is a central button: after the accident, things escalated so much for Rei that she ended up in the hospital, Endeavour instead got the full time he wanted with Shouto (reversing his negative feelings, guilt, remorse and strive for his broken dream) into training. 

And the fact that in this moment, she chooses to let Touya go (metaphorically) is not only heartbreaking, but also reflects the anger in Endeavour’’s eyes who’s thinking line has to go along the lines of: ffs, I have to do everything around here (which I do not want to sound rude, comes off as misogynist, but as well disrespectful and just right arrogant). However, the fact that Rei here is weak, does not define her character and instead Touya coming back is exactly what she needs to step on her feet again, and transform this

into ‘I’m here now’ and I’m going to solve this situation. Because Rei is tired of the situation, of Endeavour and wallowing in Endeavour’s shadow. It is time for her to actually intervene like she should have done years ago, and save her kid (or at least, give Touya a forgiveness sort of goodbye, and maybe tell him that notwithstanding their mistakes, and the fact that he was born because of a Quirk Marriage, Touya was still loved).

4.) But then, Shouto's has always been aware of how bad the situation in his own home is. Him protecting his mom is greatly telling in this sense: Shouto, despite being as traumatised by his father’s behaviour as Natsuo and Fuyumi (who are older than him, and are also crying in this panel - because Endeavour is a very tall, and build man and he is the Head of the family, which is also probably why they know what is going on, and no matter how many times this happened, if one or twenty but there is no excuse for Endeavour scaring his children so much they feel the need to retract in themselves (as shown by Fuyumi’s position on the floor, and Natsuo trying to be shielded by his bigger sister) and to cry as silently as possible with the hope that the angry person does not notice them. Shouto, on the other hand, while also crying actually stands up to his father (as he continued doing til today) and despite the shouts, angry stare and all the burden that comes with parent’s argument, he still tries to protect his mother, because he knows that the dominance of Endeavour’ character is too much for Rei to take. Because Rei is tired. Look at her face. Look at her eyes and her general exhaustion. The panel of point 3 stands to identify that she cannot take anymore. And instead, Shouto plays the bigger person. Notwithstanding all the obstacles he has overcome (the hellish training manu, his father’s expectations, the burden left by Touya’s disappearance, his father’s ego and anger, his mum burning him, Rei’s hospitalisation, the scattered relationship with his siblings, his empty childhood), Shouto stands tall and proud, knowing what he has to do. 

I think that Shouto’s being the Hero of his own family, is a very important ‘part’ of not only the story, but as well for Shouto, who is evolving in character and setting the foundations for an individual whose past prejudices his future, and he has to resolve the plethora of things that he carries involuntarily with him, before possibly saying that he has achieved something, and that he became a Hero. I like how Horikoshi pointed slightly out that this whole drama, even if the protagonists are Touya and Endeavour, is not only the shaping path of Shouto, but as well his stepping stone for being a real hero (through the pits of fire which once again he has to do, in order to let go of the past, and instead his future, depicted in fire and ice).

[p-st]

sakura haruno fics (ao3)

an old anon sent me on the quest of a lifetime when they first asked for sakura fic recs and my brain went “lets read every fic on ao3 in the sakura haruno tag” (also ff.net but thats gonna have to be another post in the far off future bc ff is an old giant)

fics are split into finished, in progress, and abandoned (and the fics with ⭐ are my top faves) plus every category’s fics will be in order from shortest to longest. im gonna include the original summaries along with my own separate take (really more of a reaction) and any warnings the fics need!

THIS IS A LABOR OF LOVE!!!!! which is a nice way of saying it’s long as shit, it took me forever, and i loved every second of it! let me know if any links dont work, theres typos that dont look purposeful, there’s warnings missing, if any fics arent in order, the formatting isnt right, etc.etc.

my sincerest apologies to mobile users

fair warning: im not exaggerating when i say it’s really long

(pic from naruto-manga-caps)

author’s note: im dumb and have adhd and though ive read most of these fics at least twice, i tend to skip over text. with this in mind PLEASE let me know if you come across anything in these fics that makes you uncomfy so i can either add a warning or remove it entirely

want to navigate faster? ctrl+f to search key words like: [ship], [author], bamf, mokuton, (team as) family, etc!

FINISHED

in the roots of the forest (i am birthed) by frostnesia

ship: none // words: 272 // chapters: 1/1

so little sakura walks; past the flowers, the vines, the bright red gates and enters to a sanctuary no one with a beating heart had stepped in for more than a hundred years.

au. little ficlet! OOF im always a little heart eyed about godly iconography. plotless! just a good short read that would absolutely rock my world if it was expanded into a multichapter story but it’s still good as is!

Seven or Two by grit

ship: sakura & kakashi // words: 623 // chapters: 1/1

He makes a split-second decision. Their teamwork was atrocious, but he knows who to blame, and it’s not the girl who blackmailed her teammates into giving a damn.

i really do need more fics where kakashi recognizes the similarities between himself and sakura. tbh i just need more fics where sakura gets the love and recognition she deserves. this is a good short fic for that! team seven doesnt make it through but sakura does! eventually! warning for one weird line abt the yamanakas that might make ppl uncomfy

Twelve and Sixteen by therebaeka

ship: none // words: 625 // chapters: 1/1

Twelve years old Sakura was weak. She was annoying. She cried over the littlest thing. She had no pain tolerance at all. She wanted to be strong. Sixteen years old Sakura was strong. She can split the earth. She can heal anything. She can take anything thrown at her. She wanted to be twelve again.

god i love fics that touch on all the negative effects a shinobi lifestyle has on ninja kids (like the loss of childhood innocence/wonderment). character growth and mostly a character analysis type fic which i love. sakura just loves her team but she misses being a kid (team as family!!)

Three Sentence Ficlets by Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling)

ship: narusasusaku // words: 626 // chapters: 3/3

Tiny ficlets written for various iterations of the Three Sentence Ficathon:

1) A quiet moment, after the world doesn't end. 2) Sakura reaches the valley's rim just in time. 3) The night before Naruto's investiture as Hokage.

soft and kind short fics abt my fav ot3. first chap is set post-war, 2nd is set during naruto and sasukes fight in the valley before he goes to orochimaru, and the setting of the 3rd is in the above description. these are really soft fics and im a sucker for the slice of life feelings

Another Kind of You by rhenna

ship: sasusaku // words: 655 // chapters: 1/1

"The problem with the color black is that it can't decide whether it is the color of the classically evil or the color of the bad-boy hero."

they are.. just liddle babies..team as family feelings bc that’s what really gets me in my uwus. not shippy! just sakura’s usual baby crush! surprisingly introspective

Unravel by grit

ship: none // words: 683 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura will be a shinobi soon and they know to coat their bare skin in poison.

au. sakura is a kiri nin amidst the bloodline purges. honestly just a super interesting look into life in kirigakure during this time and how its beliefs reflect on its children. warning for animal death and a little bit of an unhinged world view

I’ll Carry You by naru_writes

ship: narusasusaku // words: 701 // chapters 1/1

I’ll just rest my eyes for a bit, Sakura tells herself, slowly petting the now sleeping kitten, and then I’ll start on dinner.

i LIVE for domestic fluff and established relationships aaa. they love and care about her so much it makes my heart happy. all from sakura’s pov

Puppy Love by Dovey

ship: kibasaku // words: 852 // chapters: 1/1

It’s Sakura’s first day in the academy when she falls in love with Kiba Inuzuka.

i looooove how differently she grows as a character with just one difference. really cute baby genin crush. theyre rowdy, muddy, rough housing best friends. really short and lighthearted

Selfless Stunt by Michinokao

ship: sakura & naruto & sasuke // words: 859 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura wants to become chunin. She really does. However, after seeing Naruto’s nervousness, she decides to raise her hand to drop out with her team.

set during chunin exams. OOF babey im always here for team 7 as family fics!! short little thing and just feel good for ppl who stan sakura and love when others take her feelings into consideration :’)

What You See is What You Get, So Look Away by Dovey

ship: none // words: 903 // chapters: 1/1

a warmup piece i wrote trying to make a Kakashi who’s not so oblivious.

kakashi’s pov. lots of introspection and meta and i love this kind of stuff a lot. analysis on how different naruto and sasuke are from the rest of their team. love love love when anyone brings up sakura’s own mortality and what she had to do to get to where she is. aaa also the author notes at the end are very worth the read

Snake Tooth by Pinnacle of Failure (Cromirn)

ship: none // words: 904 // chapters: 1/1

The Forest of Death doesn't go right. Sakura can't tell what's real and what's not.

exactly as the summary says! orochimaru does some genjutsu stuff and my poor girl get severely messed up mentally. warning for implications of gore and an unstable mind. part one in a trilogy (others are on this list)

Here Are Your Bones Crossed by grit

ship: none // words: 977 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura begins recovery by unfurling her hands and giving him a tense report. Kakashi waits patiently for her to stumble through Konoha Standard, motions well-memorised but never practiced, and gently reaches out to lift her chin, making her look at him.

(Sakura blames herself. For trusting Kabuto, for not being stronger, for being here when really it should have been Naruto who survived.)

it’s fucked :( sakura is gonna need such a good therapist it’s really what she deserves. and if i did tear up a little after that last thing kakashi said? well thats between me and whoever’s reading this. read the author notes at the end for an explanation of whats going on in this timeline

Wind and Water, Earth and Rain by theformerone

ship: narusaku // words: 1020 // chapters: 1/1

Naruto almost loses himself on the Wave Mission. But in a world where Team Seven was created to prevent another Kyuubi attack, there is always someone there to remind him of who he is.

set during wave arc. MOKUTON SAKURA. not shippy at all? incredibly easy to take as platonic and just a sweet team 7 as family fic (which i did before i looked at the tags??) warning for super brief gore

⭐How Do You Tell a Girl You Want to Kiss Her? by theformerone

ship: shikasaku // words: 1084 // chapters: 1/1

Shikamaru punches a hole through Sakura’s wall. She can’t really deal with that until she has her morning coffee.

au. part three of the role reversal au (others are listed later) this is really cute and theres nothing life or death about it and i love how idk. normal it is? sakura is just tired and taking it in stride and shikamaru is a flustered mess (choji is a good wingman) (and god this is a small thing but i love the lowkey team 7 stuff. my faves are my faves in any universe)

Of Gardens and Girls by Dovey

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 1128 // chapters: 1/1

Soulmates: a person so important, so loved, and so central to your life that the universe acknowledges it. Flowers representing that love will grow inside of you until the love is requited, or you move on.

Sakura has a lot of soulmates.

au. set throughout timeline. really bittersweet, so damn bittersweet. this fic makes my heart hurt bc she’s so full of love and deserves better. (theres also a lot more ships nd every single one is platonic except for the naruhinagaa) warning for death :’(

Forgetting Something by theformerone

ship: sakukarin // words: 1130 // chapters: 1/1

Well I’m not eating you out in the kitchen like I was planning on when your daughter left.”

Sakura snorts.

“So she’s just my daughter now?”

Karin follows her into the room and sets down Sarada’s new spare pair of glasses on her desk.

“When you help her cause minor property damage before seven in the morning, yes, she’s your daughter.”

set in boruto universe. really fucking sweet. this is just a short and cute little slice of life thing w adorable sakura and sarada interactions

Smiles in Spring by Kalira

ship: inosaku // words: 1179 // chapters: 1/1

One spring day when they are very small, Ino meets a little girl with shy eyes, a beautiful smile, and pink hair, and immediately knows what she wants in her future. Ino's never had any qualms bending the force of her will on the universe to be sure she gets whatever she wants.

NOT sakura centric but i excused a couple of other fics already PLUS this is cute so whatever. it’s just short and cute and makes my heart swell

Drawing Her Back by Kalira

ship: inosaku // words: 1197 // chapters: 1/1

It's not the first time Sakura has had to lead her lover back to herself from deep in her own mind, and it probably won't be the last. She doesn't like it . . . but she can do it.

sakura is the best. have i mentioned that before? i love her more than anything if you didnt already know that about me. sakura is just making sure ino is okay and helping in any way she can and my heart is soft

Underneath the Underneath (is nothing but bones and blood) by Dovey

ship: none // words: 1269 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura has a weak heart. This isn’t metaphorical, but literal- she’s born with a heart too small to pump properly. A valve is slightly misaligned, and any strenuous activity could kill her.

set from genin era to the attack on the village amidst the chunin exam. and again! dovey delivers the good stuff! no dialogue. life kinda comes at her fast and you can almost feel her whole mindset shift

Nothing but Paint by grit

ship: none // words: 1382 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura has her hand fist-deep in Sasuke's rib cage, seriously tempted to rip his heart out like he did hers, a conflict of interest mitigated only by the code of honor her shishou drilled into her, when she realizes that Team Seven won't return to Konoha without him this time.

character exploration of team 7 surrounding sakura (my weakness) not sure where in the timeline this is but i know it's post sai and yamato joining the team. it's short but interesting as hell!! immediate warning for blood if the desc didnt give it away

Hands Reaching Out by orlha

ship: shikasaku // words: 1412 // chapters: 1/1

The price of winning the war was steeper than Sakura imagined it to be. It was a price she gladly pay over and over again but the thought of not living long enough to see this new peace burns in her chest.

post war. just a short angsty little thing abt sakura and her seal. mentions of death

Canary Bill by Pinnacle of Failure (Cromirn)

ship: none // words: 1474 // chapters: 1/1

she knows that what they did for her will come back around. she didn't expect it to be this way.

part two of the disjointed realities series! still set during the exams and my poor girl still has some residual effects of the genjutsu orochimaru put her through. it’s not clear whether it’s real or not

From Ashes by Dovey

ship: none // words: 1476 // chapters: 2/2

She hasn’t got a family, hasn’t got a team, not in any way either of those words should count. It’s time to come to terms with that.

set near the beginning of shippuden it seems? interesting implications about her family that i want more of plus emphasis on team 7 as family minus her which hurts my heart aa. warning for death, blood, and gore (not super graphic)

Boar Tusk by Pinnacle of Failure (Cromirn)

ship: none // words: 1499 // chapters: 1/1

she burns in the flames of memories of which are fake, they boil her skin and melt flesh and she is nothing more than a skeleton of what she was. she wishes she were not what she is now, what she was then, and she begs.

last part of the disjointed realities series! still during the exams! yeah she’s definitely traumatized, no question about it.

How Lame by theformerone

ship: shikasaku // words: 1527 // chapters: 1/1

Nara Shikamaru is the Godaime’s apprentice. Sakura thinks he’s a world class nag.

au. ROLE REVERSALS!! super interesting!!!!! teams are still the same but their stories and personalities are different? anyway this au is cute and i love team seven’s relationship and also sakura’s skills are cool as SHIT. plus the shikasaku interactions are cute. part one of this role swap series.

Letters to the Front by Kalira

ship: hinasaku // words: 1644 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura, as both head medic and close friend and advisor to the Hokage, is not lacking for news from back home even as she manages the field hospital at the front lines, but her most prized letters are not those advising her of news on the war and politics.

set during war time. sakura just loves and appreciates her girlfriend so much aa warning for implied nsf/w. none of it graphic!

The One With the Eye Thing by Dovey

ship: none // words: 1776 // chapters: 1/1

a one chapter story that’s 100% just sakura getting a very gross revenge on her sensei and on the shinobi class system as a whole, at least as far as SHE sees it.

that also means this is SUPER gorey. let it be said that i give the people what they want

au. bamf sakura! set pre shippuden surprisingly enough. believe it or not, there is a very gorey eye thing. sexy ass takes on the role of civilians in a shinobi village. warnings for graphic gore and a mental breakdown

I Spy by AshesFall (Cloud_Nine)

ship: none // words: 1782 // chapters: 1/1

Team 7, Missing in Action.

The aftermath of the Wave Mission gone wrong.

part one of the Lucky Sevens series. not very sakura centric but the whole series is just neat! team as family which im always a sucker for. the series focuses on how team 7 copes with being back in the village and i just think it’s neat idk! warning for mentions torture! individual warnings for every other fic in the series in the tags but most are about torture, trauma, and general violence

Ghosts in Her Blood by Dovey

ship: gaasaku // words: 1831 // chapters: 1/1

After Wave, Inner Sakura changes into a familar face to help Sakura cope with her new reality

au. set during chunin arc. tbh!! no idea this was a ship fic til i read the tags so this can absolutely be read as a shipless fic. really makes you think abt how (not) good a shinobi village is at teaching children how to compartmentalize. my girl’s a bamf but traumatized and trying. warnings for gore and death

Coming Home by Angelchexmex

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 1901 // chapters: 1/1

Kakashi isn't surprised that his little brats had made themselves at home in his apartment while he was gone, he was just a bit curious as to why.

kakashi pov! set early genin days! not much plot wise but i love fics like that so much aa i love fics that just showcase the familiarity between team 7 in more domestic settings. they love sakura!! they all care abt her so much and kakashi love his kids a lot!!! really cute short and sweet team as family fic! warning for implications of abuse and starvation

Does He Make You Feel Special? by Dovey

ship: none // words: 1905 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura develops an eating disorder, and then she recovers with help from some friends.

au. starts pre shippuden. read the tags because this realy is what it says on the tin. warnings for eating disorders, self esteem issues, and relapse. she gets mostly adopted by tsunade and everyone takes care of her in general. hinata gets the place of apprentice and sakura gets more friends and support and gets trained by anko! focuses on recovery before plot so the only “real” plot is at the very end

Ink Stains and Cherry Blossoms by Hannahmayski

ship: sai & sakura // words: 1922 // chapters: 1/1

Ice cream doesn’t solve all of the world’s problems but Sakura is pretty sure it solves most of them.

or

Sai’s having a bad day and has never had ice cream before. Sakura fixes both.

sai centric fic w sunshine sakura. budding friendship. can be interpreted as romantic if you want? i didnt see it as that, but if it’s what u want! delves a little into sai’s feelings towards danzo. just dang cute and i always love a sakura who is there for her friends. allusion to an eating disorder and emotional manipulation.

⭐What Lingers by spacefleeting

ship: none // words: 1994 // chapters: 1/1

For someone who just watched her friend get beaten to a pulp, had her head nearly punched in, and stopped her teammate from going on a curse-induced murder spree, Sakura is handling everything very well. Until she’s not.

(Or: Sakura blossomed and she’s not really sure how she feels about it yet)

set during chunin exam. trying and failing to compartmentalize and naruto trying to help as best as another kid can. it’s endearing but wow, does canon naruto ever touch on how they help get children through the trauma of shinobi life?? the answer is no. mentions of blood. she takes a bite out of a dude. like. real shit

What’s Yours is Mine by DefiantDreams

ship: narusasusaku // words: 1994 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura doesn’t quite know how it happens, but suddenly their closets are a free-for-all for each other.

au. sakuras pov. just plain soft. short and cute budding romance between my faves aaa,, also genderfluid naruto!!

Last Match in the Matchbox by Endoplasmic Panda

ship: none // words: 2071 // chapters: 1/1

In which Sakura Haruno realizes that being discontent with adult life is part of the Team Seven contractual fine print.

(got rid of the rest of the summary bc it was too many text blocks) set during boruto! just some build up to sakura FINALLY getting her own time to just travel aa. everyone supports her and that’s how it should be

How a Fire is Born by ThroughtheMirrorDarkly

ship: none // words: 2075 // chapters: 1/1

What if there had been no Ino that fateful day in the park? What if Sakura is mercilessly bullied until one day she is pushed to her breaking point, with surprising results?

starts off during early academy days. sakura came here to learn and fuck people up and she just finished the curriculum. i HATE hiruzen but i love my girl so :/ also team seven are all rivals which sounds like it would be chaotic poor kakashi. warnings for abuse and bullying

How Sakura Discovers Her Love for Fighting by smolwhite_ugly

ship: none // words: 2087 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura Haruno is five-years-old when she decides that she really wants to become a ninja. Not a paper ninja. A shinobi.

set during early academy days uvu. rowdy girl rights!!!!! sakura is the ride or die friend everyone wishes they had. sakura is that short comic “you have befriended [name], [name] will now die for you” except it’s beat someone up. sakura’s best friends are blondes uwu

What a Pain by theforemerone

ship: shikasaku // words: 2269 // chapters: 1/1

Yamanaka Ino is an S-ranked missing nin. But before that, she was Shikamaru and Chouji’s best friend and comrade.

Sakura has an easier time compartmentalizing than they do. Especially in a fight.

au. second part of the role swap au! ino essentially took the place of sasuke. pretty focused on the ino-shika-cho story but entirely from sakura’s pov. shes so FUCKING COOL I LOVE THE JUTSUS OP GAVE HER SHES SUCH A BAMF IM IN LOVE. this au is so interesting i need more

Galvanize by nerazenn

ship: narusaku // words: 2352 // chapters: 1/1

gal·va·nize (v): shock or excite (someone), typically into taking action.

::

Sakura’s victorious wail was cut short, however, as she became immediately aware of two things.

One, her hand was in a lot of pain.

And two, Ino was nowhere near Sakura.

modern au. just a short meet cute fic sjcndek honestly id expect nothing less. it’s just cute and makes me laugh. something not serious thrown into the mix of recs

Truth in Platitudes by Kalira

ship: narusasusaku // words: 2454 // chapters: 1/1

Naruto stepped in with no thought to his own safety to protect theirs; now Sakura and Sasuke are left to try and get him out of the trap in his own mind.

yeah it’s exactly what it says on the tin. not sure where on the timeline this is. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER!!!!! im really so easy please

And Then the Desert Blooms by spacefleeting

ship: sakura & gaara // words: 2457 // chapters: 1/1

Haruno Sakura meets Gaara of the Desert piece by piece, name by name.

set throughout timeline. mostly sakura’s thoughts during the few times she’s interacted with gaara. development as friends! naruto would be so happy

Little Moments by iBloo

ship: sasusaku // words: 2519 // chapters: 1/1

Sasuke, Sakura, and Sarada enjoy an afternoon shopping and spending time with each other.

set during boruto’s dad’s son’s time. sasuke just loves his girls and sakura loves her family and sarada loves her parents so much and loves to spend time with them together. just a nice little slice of life feel good fic. im a sucker for domestic “filler episode” type fics aa they make me so tender

Bumpy Future by Dovey

ship: hinasaku // words: 2553 // chapters: 1/1

It’s her last year at the academy when Sakura hits her head. When she wakes up, she has a little trouble matching memories to the people in them- but she’ll have to get it right eventually, yeah?

in which sakura pairs vague associations with the wrong people, and everyone is much happier because of it (Except Iruka-sensei).

acadamy days!! newborns!!! everything changes djsbjd ino is her rival, kiba’s her bestfriend, and hinata is her crush and her class supports all of it, it’s cute (also read the author notes at the end, the last paragraph is so fucking quality)

Hello, Bright Eyes (been waiting on you) by mouseymightymarvellous

ship: saisaku // words: 2651 // chapters: 1/1

“look underneath the underneath,” except no one has ever really bothered to look at sakura and see her. and then there is a boy (isn’t there always). maybe they’re both just ghosts, making each other real.

no clear timeline. large focus on sakura and how she’s (not) seen by other people. emphasis on sai and sakura’s disconnect from naruto and sasuke. the plot confused me a bit but im pretty positive it’s about sakura dismantling root per request of tsunade. THE ENDING THOUGH??? sai deserves so much love that really made me melt a little

Prodigal Sons by Fiction_Over_Fact

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 2779 // chapters: 1/1

Sasuke is gone and Naruto is gone and Kakashi might as well be.

In which Sakura is sad and alone but discovers she doesn’t have to be either.

set after naruto leaves with jiraiya. sort of a character analysis/coming of age type fic. touches on the disparity of who she was and who she’s becoming. also has bits of her friendship with the rest of the rookie 9!

Sasuke Discovers Emotion #4 by Dovey

ship: sasusaku // words: 2852 // chapters: 1/1

In which Sasuke manages to avoid getting a team with any fangirls, and then figures out maybe he was secretly the fangirl all along, because a little distance and the influence of Sensei Tenten helps Sakura flourish and now he’s got a big old crush to deal with on top of everything else.

set during genin days. also sasuke centric but sakura gets put into a different team and her development as a result is so beautiful even though it isnt the focus aaa. sasuke pines and it’s cute!!

⭐An Improper Apology Properly Backfires by rex101111

ship: sasusaku // words: 2996 // chapters: 1/1

Sasuke Uchiha apologizes, or at least makes an attempt. Sakura thinks he could do better than THAT.

set at the end of the war. naruto is the innocent bystander and it’s all in his pov. god i WISH this went down in canon. this fic is so fucking funny and cathartic bc sakura finally gets to air her grievances. DEFINITELY a top fave of mine and i have it bookmarked for whenever i just so happen to be in the mood

The Value of Learning to Bloom by Yourself by alunbalanced

ship: shikasaku // words: 3001 // chapters: 2/2

Sasuke asks a question and receives an unexpected answer and Sakura stands on her own two feet as she walks away.

set post war. really good self indulgent fic for ppl who love sakura and arent the biggest fans of sasuke (this fic is a bit mean to him so i wouldnt recommend to sasuke stans). this doesnt read as one consecutive fic but more like two individual one shots. sasuke is only in the first chapter and the second one is dedicated to sakura’s first time training w tsunade and shikamaru analyzing her. also the author notes are me always

San by Demeter

ship: none // words: 3046 // chapters: 1/1

When three whittles down to one. A very biased view.

set throughout pre shippuden timeline. heavy on that introspection! not all that plot focused, just sakura’s thoughts on where she stands and how she’s always left behind

The Shadows are Darker When the Sun is Bright by EndoplasmicPanda

ship: none // words: 3437 // chapters: 1/1

She remembers that Team 7, from all those years ago, and then remembers the real Team 7, with bickering teammates and bloody spars and careful, loving admonishment. She remembers the Team 7 without Sasuke, remembers the Team 7 where it was just her and Kakashi for three long years. Remembers Sai and Yamato, sets aside her guilt for not visiting them in far too long, remembers Naruto’s grin and Sasuke’s smile.

They loved her. She loved them.

Can she love herself?

set after the war. sakura becomes hokage and shes good even though shes traumatized and not moving past it (bc shes trying to live the lives her teammates shouldve had) open ending but i choose to believe she takes to wandering the lands and going back into medical things while learning how to live her own life for herself and no one else :’)

Sense Memory by KuriQuinn

ship: sasusaku // word count: 3501 // chapters: 1/1

She’s not breathing, or showing any signs of life, and that worries him.

takes place when sarada is a baby. almost all of it is a flashback to smthn that took place in their baby days and it’s all in sasuke’s pov. the non flashback bits are soft and slice of life-esque. warnings for near death and drowning in the flashback and implied ns/fw near the very beginning and the very end

Coming Undone by Dovey

ship: none // words: 3643 // chapters: 1/1

The Uchiha Massacre is world-famous within weeks. The homicide of the Haruno family, in comparison, is a barely a blip on the radar- another case of personal drama with an unfortunate end. Sakura, the only survivor of her family tragedy, tries to grow up normal, chasing after boys and running away from nightmares.

She doesn’t grow up normal.

au. she’s a bamf with trauma babey!! she uses battle axes and hammers and her summons are tigers which is cool as shit. loss of morality and unquestionable loyalty is always so interesting. warnings for gore, death, and drug use

Sakura’s Plants by ba262

ship: none // words: 3704 // chapters: 15/15 // updated: 3/8/19

Sakura was given Ukki-kun the day she was officially left behind by team 7

set throughout timeline. a story told in parts surrounding the plants in sakura’s life. no dialogue! i love sakura so much and my heart hurtsss,, we get to see more of her reaction to being left behind by her team and im in PAIN!! shout out to sakura’s newfound support group. short chapters and a nice short read! idk how to describe it but the writing flows REALLY nicely

Pinpoint by CountessCzan

ship: sakura & shisui // words: 3792 // chapters: 1/1

Shisui takes care of a child named Sakura for a mission once. Sakura never lets go of him after that.

set when shisui is a genin post-war. sakura is a cute little baby and im sobbing at the picture this fic paints. I LOVE SHISUI A LOT he’s so soft im really tender

Stars Exploding by blesseth

ship: sasusaku // words: 4098 // chapters: 1/1

Don’t get Sakura wrong, she was happy she and Sasuke were becoming friends, following everything that had happened. Ecstatic even. But hell, did he have to be on her mind all the damn time?

set post war. BYE i had the cheesiest grin the entire time i was reading this. just a cute little pre-relationship type fic and i love the little team 7 as family things sprinkled in. just another good light hearted fic to break up the serious/plot focused fics

Sharkman and Cherrygirl by The_Floating_World

ship: none // words: 4245 // chapters: 1/1

Newly five Haruno Sakura joins her parents on a merchant trip, has a life-changing encounter, and gains a new goal.

YES BABEY!!! i love my little fearless to the point of just plain idiotic girl!! there’s a surprising amount of fics where kisame becomes a bit of an inspiration to my number one fave and i love all of them! more fuel for my love of sakura who focuses more towards her water aspect// anyway! my little baby is just in desperate need for a mentor figure/someone she can base herself off of bc shes a shy little things whom i love more than life itsself aa GOD the way she gets absolutely star eyed the moment she sees kisame has my heart in fits. i absolutely support my little murder kid and her life goals to be Just Like That (read the notes)

Warmth by kosmeja

ship: narusasusaku // words: 4296 // chapters: 1/1

In which Naruto has a nightlight, Sasuke is afraid of the dark and doesn't want to admit it, and somehow, Sakura is the perverted one.

Or: Team 7 have a brief conversation in the dark.

au. not to sure where this is timeline wise, but sakura is a chunin. they love her so much, yeah im crying about it. they just want her to feel good about herself and that theyre there to support her and im sobbing rn i love team 7 so much

House Upon a Rock by KuriQuinn

ship: sasusaku // words: 4311 // chapters: 1/1

She sort of considers herself the last resort, the one to pull him through; it never really occurs to her that she’s the one that could fall.

yeah!!! literal and metaphorical support!!! sakura is so good here i love her. shes just a kid and she wants to be able to support her teammates even if that means literally carrying them after they pass out from exhaustion. i super love how kuriquinn writes ss interactions and this fic is no different aa (also i cant believe he never gave her the spar she asked for :/) can be read as platonic if you want! it’s mostly onesided any way

Sakura of the Red Sands by Dovey

ship: gaasaku // words: 4811 // chapters: 1/1

Sasori hates Hatake Kakashi. He meets a young girl with reason to hate the man too, and finds the perfect opportunity for revenge.

If he accidentally builds a family along the way, well. He always was exemplary at exceeding expectations.

au. sasori never defected. set roughly around chunin exam arc. sasori is an asshole as per usual and accidently becomes sakura’s pseudo older brother figure? it’s actually super endearing how proud of her he becomes and how much he starts to root for her sjdndk though it is a Little unnerving here and there and there are parts where sasori is noticeably less normal than the average person. also MOKUTON SAKURA!!!!! she’s op and meets gaara and they click and this whole fic is maybe a little weird but mostly interesting (also the author notes are good please read them!!) warning for maybe questionable levels of attachment? oh also a kind of coerced amputation!

⭐Into the Water by BasicallyAnIdiot

ship: none // words: 5192 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura had always loved the water.

set throughout timeline. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again but i love when people write sakura as someone who leans more towards her water aspect and this is one of my favorite fics that show that. my girl is connected directly to tobirama nd while he’s actually a bastard, this fic single handedly made me have a reluctant soft spot for him. plus she follows directly in his footsteps and invents jutsus too (god i love her shes so smart and cool) plenty of little spots about love that make me tender. god i love this fic so much and my girl kicks ass 100/10

Parsley Seed Goes Nine Times to the Devil by Mook_aron

ship: none // words: 5445 // chapters: 1/1

Slow to grow, quick to sprout, parsley seed goes nine times to the devil

When she’s six, a man murders her family.

The man is tall, and his features are burned into her mind. She won’t forget him- she won’t let herself forget him.

root sakura au! changes her whole childhood and perspective on village loyalty. kind of poetic and nice to read despite the dark themes. sai is there!! not a lot but he’s there and i love him. i hesitate to call this team as family bc it’s only just starting to develop but you can feel the potential! part 1 of a series i hope continues aa// warnings for emotional abuse, blood, mentions of gore, and murder

⭐Most Girls, or, the one Where Sakura Grows up and Gets a Fan Girl Along the Way by theformerone

ship: none // words: 5869 // chapters: 1/1

In the years between Naruto’s departure and return, Sakura develops.

Aggressively.

She also gains a second shadow.

set throughout timeline, starts immediately after naruto leaves. YEAH BABEY!!! BAMF SAKURA!!! she gets so fucking cool and she trains with team 8 and team gai (and gets close w the rest of the konaha 11 in general)!! she gets the muscles that she deserves that could only aid the fighting style tsunade taught her (and that she deserves in canon ugh) and she turns into such a powerhouse and people love her and it’s what she deserves (also sakura takes moegi under her wing and they’re good for eachother im crying ajdjdj this fic single handedly made me love moegi)

tag along fic: That Girl Thinks She’s the Queen of the Neighborhood (i got news for you! she is!) by theformerone

same au but all from moegi’s perspective and BOY OH BOY I RELATE. she’s got a huge fucking crush on sakura and it’s cute and sakura is teaching her how to kick ass and it’s inspiring *chef hand kiss* (word count: 6624)

I Won’t Go Down, Your Blushing Bride by felinedetached

ship: inosaku // words: 6186 // chapters: 1/1

(Three things come after that:

1. The moment of realisation. The moment she realises Sasuke’s left the village, gone off to do who knows what with Orochimaru-

2. Her memory returns to her - she was useless against her teammate; taken down by a pressure point and unable to do anything to prevent him from getting at it.

3. Inner rages, throws herself around, cursing and screaming until finally, finally she calms and she says Uchiha Sasuke is a traitor.)

In which Sakura gets the character development she deserved.

set throughout timeline. sakura basically gets adopted by every shinobi adult and it makes my heart so happy. not a lot of plot (minus that bit near the end), but so much depth!! she really does get the character development she deserves. she grows up scary and so op and inner is still there and she dates ino and theyre so soft im crying

Is the Real Over There More Vivid Than Here Ever Feels by falterth

ship: hinasaku // words: 6366 // chapters: 1/1

The healing process is slow.

set some time after the war. i hate this fic SO much it left me ugly crying. fucking NARUTO dies?????? naruto is eternal he's not allowed to die,, okay but aside from the fact that im in my feelings, this fic is so good in how it deals with grief and coping and other such things of dealing with the death of a loved one and how "coping" by ignoring/forgetting the emotions isnt actually coping. warning for death and therapy and a teensy bit of victim blaming? (it gets worked out tho!)

Ain’t no princess in this tower by atomicmuffin

ship: sakura & tenten // words: 6448 //chapters: 1/1

Boys are idiots. Ninja boys are idiots with deadly weapons, and it's the kunoichi's privilege and duty to call them out on their bullshit.

Or: how Tenten becomes the Konoha equivalent of a coach for kunoichi completely on accident, mostly because of her pathological inability to let shit go.

set after tsunade becomes hokage (au where sasuke doesnt immediately leave) tenten’s pov! oooo we love a girl who supports girls! she helps sakura treat her teammates like normal people who mess up and are really just dumb boys. BIG fan of fics where tenten takes up a mentor/older sis position for sakura bc she holds a really soft spot in my heart. oof im so proud of my girl’s development im really crying about it

⭐Sing as Their Bones Go Marching in Again by felinedetached

ship: inosaku // words: 6929 // chapters: 1/1

Instead, it goes like this: Haruno Sakura is the daughter of two civilians, from civilian families. She is nothing and no one—smart, yes, top kunoichi, yes, but she will never be on par with clan kids. She is teammates to an orphan powerhouse from a dead clan and the last remaining Uchiha.

Haruno Sakura is nothing and nobody, but she breathes and grows and thrives and the forest thrives with her.

(She opens her eyes to wood, grown from nothing, and Hatake Kakashi stares in disbelief at the tree where his student used to be.)

Or, Haruno Sakura should have had the goddamn Mokuton and this author is mad.

set throughout timeline. this fic has me FOAMING at the mouth!!! MOKUTON SAKURA!!! SENJU SAKURA!!! HASHIRAMA PARALLELS!!! SHE’S A BAMF AND OP AS SHIT!!! TSUNADE ADOPTS HER!!! INO IS HER GIRLFRIEND!!!!! i could sing my praises for this fic all day and still not be finished ahxndkek everything is so good, every little detail (like choji and kiba taking up healing) is so fucking delicious PLEASE read, im BEGGING

For Want of Freedom by ThroughtheMirrorDarkly

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 8908 // chapters: 1/1

Haruno Sakura may seem like she is destined for being a paper ninja, that her choice in this career was a flight of fancy or all based on a fangirl crush. The pink haired girl had no delusions about the life she had chosen, but she would rather die as a ninja then to be bled dry as a slave to her family. Lies and deceptions have built the world around her and Sakura is ready to tear it down, grabbing freedom with both hands.

au. starts off when team 7 first tries to get the bells. sakura’s entire family and backstory is altered and abusive. budding team as family and maybe even actual family between naruto and sakura? *winkwink* some implications of a heavy plot but it doesnt go anywhere and there’s no plans to continue it! warnings for abuse, child experimentation, and mentions of blood

Walk Forward, Don't Look Back by teslatempest

ship: hinasaku // words: 9311 // chapters: 1/1

After the war, Sakura is exhausted.

She decides to make a change.

set post war, some of my favorite types of fics! she goes on a literal road to recovery and it makes my heart so warm because i love her so much and i just want her to be happy and this fic makes me melt///// the hinasaku is only implied once so dont get your hopes up BUT!!! sakura makes narusasu happen and i really said aww out loud in the dopiest voice when sasuke kissed his cheek,, my favorite parts are easily when shes thinking/talking about her emotions bc im a sucker for that good good introspection! warning for mentions of trauma i guess? none of it is all that bad it’s just a good coping fic

Thank You for the Meal by theformerone

ship: narusaku // words: 9876 // chapters: 1/1

Tsunade tells him that the best way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach. Naruto leaves Sakura snacks.

au! not anywhere near as shippy as the tags and description imply? lots of little odd ships like brief mentions of nejisasu nd hinakarin (which has a bit more focus). not very sakura centric but damn beautiful regardless so im keeping it here. actually really fucking emotional with a huge focus on uzushio and the uzumaki clan. made me cry 10/10

⭐Hounds Follow Those Who Feed Them by dragonyfox

ship: narusasusaku // words: 10597 // chapters: 3/3

Kakashi knows when to outsource training, but he also knows that only he can teach them some things.

little bits and pieces of their lives before the last chapter in the first part of this series :(( my heart is soft and full of sadness **READ THE FIRST PART OF THIS SERIES** it’s a hound will die for you but never lie to you and i have it listed a little further down

⭐The Sound by LadyKG

ship: none // words:13231 // chapters: 4/4

They lost. Completely. Totally. Lost. They thought it impossible, that the fates would reject this outcome for tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. They have been punished for this belief. And for that, she will go back. Sakura-time travel AU

set post war. INCREDIBLY disorienting. really good to read when you’re existing a little to the left. im not a huge fan of time travel fics but holy shit?? this fic really is something else/ sakura needs to keep obito alive while dealing with hallucinations(?) of her family from her timeline. this is really fucking good actually and she kills danzo and ive got the second part here further down. warning for death

Gallant by Crunchysunrises

ship: sakura & itachi // words: 14890 // chapters: 3/3

On the day that he makes genin, Itachi sees Sakura. It changes the course of his life.

starts when itachi is a genin and sakura is a tiny little baby. non mass. very itachi centric but sakura is such a pivotal part of his life. itachi truly deserves better (it’s friendship!!! itachi is traumatized and dependent)

The Fury by LadyKG

ship: none // words: 15711 // chapters: 4/4

Sequel to 'The Sound'. She needs to keep moving, looking forward and fixing the problems of the past. If she doesn’t the world might just fall apart a second time. Sakura time travel AU.

sequal to The Sound (above somewhere)(read that one first ofc). just as confusing and disorienting as the first one! i love love love how the flashbacks are written where theres no discernible break between past and present. also i didnt mention it in the summary of pt 1 but yamato is so cute! im glad he’s getting better things (same goes for itachi!). warning that things kinda loop and it really is a little disorienting. like whole paragraphs repeat. warning for death too

The Lessons Change by exarite

ship: none // words: 17529 // chapters: 5/5

In another world, Haruno Sakura is known to be the best medic-nin of all time, renowned for her surpassing of her master and with a fearsome reputation for her strength and medical feats.

This is not that world.

aus. bundle of oneshots where sakura gets different teachers and how that changes things. (notes in the first chapter highlight the little issue i have w how sakura developed under tsunade) read the summaries and notes (beginning and end) for info abt the chapter! heavy warnings in chapter 4 for gore, emotional manipulation, blood, and experimentation. also in chapter 2 sakura has a childish crush on shisui and in chapter 3 theres a single line where he implies smthn

⭐Your Childhood Home is just Powder-White Bones (and You'll Never Find Your Way Back) by Dovey

ship: none // words: 24367 // chapters: 11/11

Sasuke is not the only one who worries he's getting too comfortable in his genin life. Itachi decides to add another motivator to Sasuke's revenge plans by kidnapping the teammate who wasn't a charismatic Jinchuriki. Sakura is used to being an objective for those around her, not a person, but even for her this is a little much.

In which Sakura is held captive and learns what a genjutsu specialist can do to a person's mind, that sharks can actually make great friends, joins a dying clan, and gets regifted multiple times before she's finally strong enough to fight back.

starts off when theyre genin. itachi is unhinged and sakura gets the short end of the stick :( LOTS of trauma. my girl gets really messed up and learns a lot of things purely to survive and has a loose grasp on reality. kisame isnt a good guy (read the notes at the end of chapter 10!) but he gives her sharks which is cool. kabuto is bad and so is orochimaru and kimimaro makes me sad but thats all par for the course. sakura gets some sick water things and also tsunade gets to be there and sakura makes her own family. warnings for torture, gore, dissociation, general loss of reality, blood, and death

⭐Survival of the Fittest by cywscross

ship: sakura & shikamaru // words: 24790 // chapters: 1/1

Sakura is thirteen, still a Genin, lost in the middle of Earth Country, lugging an unconscious Chuunin around, and so far beyond scared that she’s moved right on to pissed off.

au. naruto i love you but jesus christ. bamf sakura and shikamaru just trying to survive so they can get home and hopefully rip naruto a new one. really really cool to read abt shikamaru and sakura being smart and working together and plenty interesting bits of introspection. god this fic is just so good and the slow deterioration into kids just trying to stay alive while having nothing but each other and developing unhealthy codependency as a result is so damn interesting. also i cried 10/10 they care about each other so much

⭐Being Over-Prepared is Impossible (and other mottos) by Pleasedial123

ship: none // words: 40071 // chapters: 15/15

In one world, Kakashi awoke, felt grieved at being assigned a team he sees his own in, and he let that grief make him a lazy teacher. He saw himself in Sasuke, Obito in Naruto, and Rin in Sakura. He woke, saw himself in them, and took a large step back, regretting accepting them as his new team. In another world he was quite hands off, merely a watcher because it was so very painful to watch. He saw himself and all his mistakes in this new team of his.

In this world, Kakashi awoke, saw the similarities, and instantly panicked. He suddenly realized what he had done, passing a team. Kakashi was left scrambling not to repeat old mistakes and regrets. This team would not suffer the fate of his team.

In this world, simply put, Kakashi became a teacher. This is the starting of a new Team seven.

set early genin days. TEAM AS FAMILY BABY!!!!!!!! theyre all babies and dumb and reckless but theyre in it together! not as sakura centric as other fics on this list but her development into essentially team leader is so so good!! kakashi loves his kids so much aa

can be read alone but theres a sequel!: Surviving is the Same Thing as Winning (words: 22492 // chapters: 11/? // updated: 2/9/19)

⭐A Hound Will Die For You, but Never Lie to You by dragonyfox

ship: narusasusaku // words: 41065 // chapters: 9/9

Kakashi caught his breath and pretended like he was just thinking about what to say. His dogs saw through it. “I’m thinking of having my team sign the dog contract.”

Pakkun nodded thoughtfully. “That might piss off some powerful people, boss.”

au! (chapter title is the pov) starts somewhere post wave and pre chunin exam. sakura is kakashis favorite and it really makes me wanna cry when fics do that PLUS SHE GETS A HUGE FUCK OFF BATTLE AXE BABY!!!!!!!! they get different developments!!! sasuke gets to be the medic and im really happy about it because he seems sO HAPPY!!! also they get cute dogs and it’s all very sweet. developing themes of team as family which im a sucker for plus developing poly t7 (pining sasuke!) which im REALLY a sucker for aa it was such a happy fic but WOW that last chapter takes no prisoners warning for super brief mention of rape and there’s major character death in the last chapter :(

⭐Samsara by KuriQuinn

ship: sasusaku // words: 54177 // chapters: 8/8

Sakura’s words die in her throat as the man’s eyes shoot open, and the coldest red irises she has ever seen meet hers. She is hit by a wave of terrifying certainty about two things right then – that she knows these eyes better than any other and that, if he wanted to, this man could stop her heart with just a look.

set during their travels. FINALLY!!! the parallels of three that ive been needing my whole ass life!! also sasuke is doting and worried and it’s cute. super fucking interesting and half of it takes place during the Ootsutsuki time (aka naruto & sasuke’s first incarnations) warnings for nsfw and some weird loss of identity/time stuff? it’s a great fic though, easily one of my top faves

⭐A Girl in the Forest of Moss and Bone by theformerone

ship: none // words: 65665 // chapters: 6/6

Katsuyu spits acid in her eyes, and Sakura must prove herself worthy enough for the slugs of Shikkotsu Forest to heal.

Or, it doesn’t translate to ‘damp bone forest’ for nothing.

IF THERE’S A FIC WHOSE SERIES ID RECCOMEND IN ITS ENTIRETY IT IS ABSOLUTELY THIS FIC. IF YOU LOVE SAKURA (AND SLUG SAGE SAKURA ESPECIALLY) PLEASE READ THE BALLAD OF THE SLUG SAGE SERIES. IT OWNS MY WHOLE SOUL. guhh sakura is so adorable in the first chapter (kakashi.. choke) GOD. the fucking uhhhh worldbuilding??????? its Actually my favorite thing aa op’s writing style makes me wanna cry it flows so smoothly and it’s so clever and makes me laugh and keeps me enthralled and FUCK sakura IS SO FUCKING COOL AAAAAAAA /// she loves learning and she loves the world and the world loves her and MAYBE im screaming about it. and i LOVE that this fic leans into how nature is ever changing and always moving and a constant balance like it really makes me choke on love.. her friends love her lots :((( warning for blood and mentions of death. im BEGGING you guys to read the rest of this series.. my girl is worth songs :’)

Broken Glass by Emma_Raye

ship: none // words: 68800 // chapters: 29/29 // updated: 11/6/18

Naruto and Sasuke left Sakura pathetically broken, but like any good shinobi she put the pieces back together the only way she knew how: relentless training. Years later Konoha is in the midst of a war and Sakura is a force to be reckoned with. Frankly, she's not even sure if she wants her teammates back.

au. starts during the early parts of tsunades training (with a timeskip) sakura has a lot of feelings of abandonment and im proud of how much shes achieved! shes in anbu and a diplomat (theres a war going on) and she stands on her own two feet! shes got a weird relationship w morality and starts questioning the way things are run.. also she holds a lot of resentment towards naruto and sasuke but it gets worked on throughout (and they become a team again!!!) im not a fan of how they treated her like shes something to be protected however briefly. sakura needs a mental health lifetime but god damn if she isnt smart and OOF the poetic cinema of it all,, warning for blood, death, and major character death

Home is Where the Heart is by deeppoeticgirl

ship: sasusaku // words: 100849 // chapters: 26/26 // updated: 12/20/18

And with every moment together, they get just a little closer, a little more comfortable with each other. Fall a little more in love.

set post war. okay listen. barring morally repulsive ships (kksk, itsk, mdsk, etc.) any sakura ship makes me happy if it’s healthy and loving even if i dont like the ship (like i dont care abt shikasaku and canon ss is SO bad i still cant believe it happened) THAT BEING SAID. this fic is cute and sasuke cares a lot and op wrote him so emotive and i love the little family he became a part of on his trips and sakura is a lovestruck fool (which still has me gritting my teeth bc it doesnt idk. Fit with the rest of her personality) but it’s cute if second hand embarrassing,, honestly this fic is so ooey gooey and full of cheesy love and it’s damn near too much (how many times can a person blush.. like fr..) and theres annoying bits of needless drama and lack of communication but im stubbornly holding onto this fic bc i LOVE the character study type route this fic takes/// (this fic is like. really dramatic.. thats a warning in and of itself and i mean like telenovela type dramatic emotion and subtext. not plot twisty dramatic) warning for violence, mentions of blood, and nsfw

Follow the Sun by LaceyJane

ship: gaasaku // words: 106341 // chapters: 21/21

Stranded in the desert, without food, water, or her supplies, Sakura decides to head west to the land of shifting winds and scorching sands. It hasn’t even been a year since the wind nation had tried to overthrow her city, but she knows of someone out there, someone who, above anyone else, holds the best chance of finding her in this barren land. Able to only hope her attempts to raise attention aren’t in vain, she sets off across the sands towards the west, intent to follow the sun.

not super positive where in the timeline this is (or if it’s an au) but if i had to hazard a guess id say between sakura being taken on as an apprentice and before sasuke leaves. starts off w sakura by herself traversing through a desert with the clothes on her back. she suffers before she gains but at least it’s not for long (Well..) also can i say that i LOVE worldbuilding and i LOVE how different aspects of suna were protrayed here. like the scouting and political things (sakura being the hokages apprentice and how shed be treated in other villages) and temari in general? ugh! theres focus on gaara and how he’s coping with his demon too plus he’s just kinda cute in this fic. warning for violence, the general bad things that happen while unprepared in a desert, and the q slur except it’s not used in regard to gay ppl in any way. nothing is romantic so it can be taken as friendship if it’s what you’d prefer!

⭐Time Flies Like an Arrow by Katlou303

ship: inosaku // words: 240288 // chapters: 36/36 // updated: 2/1/19

Sakura traveled back in time with the intent of changing everything, but something went wrong, and now she's four years old having nightmares about impossible monsters and losing friends she has yet to meet.

time travel fic!!!!! oh my heart is soft :( starts off when theyre tiny kids and sakura stands up for naruto (childhood friends!!) sakura’s memories of her prev timeline come to her in dreams (pretty intense for a kid to be having.. ily kagami:( ) SHISUI AND GENMA ARE THERE!!! ILY BABIES,, shes literally so baby and small and full of love for her friends :((((( shisui is fanastic and also a mess, baby sasuke is the cutest, itachi deserves better, sakuras family has me weak as hell theyre so perfect, and inner sakura in this fic is prev timeline sakura (who is so fucked up holy jesus) tsunade gets a new family member and oh fuck gaara is so cute and same goes for tenzo AND BONUS MOKUTON????? the ocs are really interesting and good and i love them (the word count is a little inaccurate bc theres parts at the end of the chapters themselves that are more like authors notes) warning for trauma, flashbacks, blood, gore, death, implied child abuse (never happens but it gets mentioned a lot), and major character death (kagami… :( ) GUYS I JUST REALIZED IT ENDED ON MY BDAY

IN PROGRESS

Grit Your Teeth (and Smile) by kattenprinsen

ship: none // words: 1423 // chapters: 2/? // updated: 8/1/18

Sakura is an immigrant. Her father is an immigrant too.

au. okay okay this is a pet peeve of mine with canon itself bc sakura was team seven’s token “has parent’s that are alive and support her” except that was genuinely never shown?? we know Nothing substantial about mebuki and kizashi and their relationship with sakura and fsnsksnk im ranting. this fic is nice and yeah there’s not a lot happening so far but i love the depth op is giving to sakura’s parents so much (and they are totally different from canon btw. theyre very good ocs and her dad is a missing nin from mist with sharp teeth aaa) (sakura is also a little bit of a bamf as a result of her parents and im crying about it)

Was That Your Voice or Was That Me by grit

ship: sakura & sasori // words: 1528 // chapters: 1/5 // updated: 10/9/18

Sasori takes Sakura on as an apprentice out of boredom and keeps her because she has potential and he is pragmatic to a fault.

Spontaneity doesn't suit his plans though and Sakura has her own opinion on murder, so it goes about as well as you'd expect.

au where this story take free reign of the timeline. sasori meets sakura when shes a little kid and takes a shining to her potential (as everyone should...). kinda fucked up tbh! at least a little bit! warning for murder and emotional manipulation. the only chapter seems to just be setting up the rest of the story where sasori essentially changes her whole mentality

Tables They Are Turning (Bridges They Are Burning) by pg13

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 1555 // chapters: 1/? // updated: 7/19/18

It’s not until she’s convulsing and the heat from her neck is spreading that she wonders if maybe she should’ve listened when her mother told her to reconsider being a shinobi.

set during chunin exam. SAKURA GETS BIT INSTEAD OF SASUKE. sasuke gets fiercely protective and learns of the incredible emotion called friendship. lots of promising things happen and then it gets cut off when it REALLY starts to get into it AAA/// i Know this fic is gonna be delicious

Skin is Just a Ready Made Coffin by ulittuq

ship: none // words: 2026 // chapters: 2/? // updated: 7/27/18

The night of the Uchiha Massacre is chaos. Alarms are blaring and shinobi are flying through the street and somewhere Sasuke Uchiha is waking up from seventy-two hours of psychological torture courtesy of his big brother.

Sakura Haruno hides under her bed with her hands clasped over her mouth trying to stifle her breathing and praying that the stranger prowling her house can’t hear her heartbeat.

(read author note at the beginning to see how the timeline is changed) some faceless guy takes advantage of the disaster on the night of the massacre and kills sakura’s family to help his mom(??) and that’s literally it! starts off balls to the walls!!  feeds into my feral love of the naruto civilians and how they might resent shinobi. i LOVE fics where civilians are the main focus and how they might be disenfranchised (especially in the hidden villages) as opposed to ninjas. theres not a lot of plot yet but it’s building up to smthn good!! i hope sakura keeps that little bit distrust towards shinobi and the system in her heart! blind loyalty to the state is unhealthy. warning for death, murder, gore, and panic attacks

Daisies and Lilacs by Pinnacle of Failure (Cromirn)

ship: none // words: 2487 // chapters: 1/? // updated: 12/5/18

She's always seen them. Sometimes they scare her, like every shadow to a child should. But there's something to them that she doesn't have, something that she doesn't want.

starts off early academy days up to when they meet kakashi. might not end up being a multi chapter fic. she sees things so im clocking her as psychotic in this fic bc same hat! not a whole lot in the way of plot but the writing style is neat!

⭐To Serve Man by Dovey

ship: none // words: 3090 // chapters: 2/? // updated: 3/19/18

Kizashi Haruno was a civilian man with a simple shop, from a civilian family of simple farmers; Mebuki Haruno was a missing nin from the land of Rain. Sakura took after both her parents.

“You owe yourself to three things, in order: the ones you love, yourself, and then your village.”

au. the rest of the summary is such a mood, i wish we got actual info about her parents :/ i LOVE this fic and i want more content about this universe because im nothing if not a sucker for sakura with a missing nin parent aaa,,, mebuki is so cool and sakura learns early on that blind loyalty to a village is not a good thing to cultivate. her morals are very based around earned loyalty and death bc thats what her mom knew (and i love and appreciate that she motivates sakura to aim for “flee on sight” if she were to ever end up in the bingo book) also kizashi is so sweet and supportive djefk warning for animal death and murder

I’ve Been Waiting my Whole Life (When I’ve Only Been Dreaming) by SheBeanSheep

ship: none // words: 3329 // chapters: 3/? // updated: 7/19/18

Before she was a boy-crazy fangirl, Sakura wanted nothing more than to be a good shinobi. Afterall, that’s what the voice, Inner Sakura, wanted. But Sakura just wanted to be Ino’s friend. So all of her energy went into making sure Ino would still like her, would still consider her a friend and a rival. So, Sakura bypassed the training scrolls of her childhood and picked up a hairbrush, shutting Inner Sakura away.

Then, Team 7 got the Wave Mission.

Then, Inner Sakura got a name.

Then, everything changed.

starts during wave. INNER BECOMES A SUBSTANTIAL CHARACTER HELL YEAH. and now shes actually mito uzumaki?? fucking legendary, nothing less than the best for my queen! mito kicks sakura’s ass into high gear and starts turning her into the bamf she was destined to be (though it hasnt actually gotten to that point ajdj i cant wait for future updates aaa)

Training Sakura by Kalira

ship: sakura & kakashi // words: 3601 // chapters: 2/? // updated: 11/25/18

Two members of Team Seven broke away on their own, and in the aftermath there remains only one thing to be settled. . . That one thing is not what anyone expected.

With Sakura as his sole remaining student, Kakashi settles in to train her properly, determined to help her achieve her ambitions as a ninja and become a great one.

set after naruto leaves. gai is a real one! yeah maybe i did start tearing up by the end of the first chapter. im emotional okay. also ive read so many fics where ino doesnt GET to be sakura’s best friend and it hurts me directly so this fic really makes me happy (bonus really short tag-along fic title Mistress where sakura gets a puppy aa)

Of Which Do I Change by Pinnacle of Failure (Cromirn)

ship: none // words: 3772 // chapters: 4/? // updated: 1/16/19

It starts and it ends in confusion. There never was a true destination in life, in what she was and what actually defined her. But one thing happened, and now she is someone, her name is on the lips of the Hokage and Clan heads and now they see who she is. Too bad she can't do that anymore.

But she takes pride in that. She has pink hair and green, useless, eyes. She is an anomaly in her own right, and that makes her strong, that makes her a terror in her own right.

starts off pre/early academy days. seems to be setting up to be a longer fic? interesting bits abt clan stuff! i do feel a little bad for ino :( sakura’s drive to have a name again is really nice to read and i KNOW shes gonna be cool as shit. not much in the way of a major plot insofar but still really good!!!

The Senju Whisperer by callmeportgas

ship: sakura & hashirama // words: 4754 // chapters: 2/? // updated: 11/14/18

In which Sakura comes to fully embrace the heritage her family couldn't, with some help from her imaginary friend.

au! MOKUTON SAKURA BBY!!!!! the story is only JUST developing but i can already see the building friendship between naruto and sakura!!!

Dont Think, Just Run by alicemc12

ship: none // words: 4806 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 3/10/19

Sakura was left behind after an ambush. Left for dead by mistake, until her life is saved by a young girl. With everyone believing her dead, Sakura is left to see the world from a different side. Without thinking, she runs away from the past she can't change and to a fate only she can control. Because it's just as a little girl said, the future will never be set in stone unless you let it.

starts off in oc pov. not sure where in the timeline this is but she knows how to heal by this point. COOL PLOT!! love the fate stuff and how much of a bamf sakura gets to be even though it's very ff.net-esque

Way of the Cherry Blossom by chadsuke

ship: none // words: 5422 // chapters: 16/? // updated: 9/8/18

Healing isn't a bad profession, Sakura knows. She could do well in it. But healing means that you're the one picking up the pieces, putting your teammates back together.

Sakura wants to stop them from getting hurt at all.

starts after sasuke “dies” in wave but before they go back to the village. shes a baby and wants to be able to stand beside the rest of her team. her family is so good in this fic! and so is kakashi even though he subjected her to gai. sasuke is cute too and naruto always is. theres some sentences that arent really jokes but are worded in such a fantastic way that i end up cackling. it’s all pretty lighthearted! warning for brief mention of death

⭐Salt in the Wound by Dovey

ship: sakura/oc // words: 6033 // chapters: 4/? // updated: 3/30/18

The Wave arc, except Sakura’s flimsy attempt at protecting the client results in her accidentally faking her death. Zabuza survives and takes her along with him as an apprentice, and she grows up in the harder but more emotional life of a nin on the run.

aka I have a lot ideas of how Missing-Nin would have a different culture than the rest of Naruto-verse, that would place a high-value on youngins’ in the trade given the rarity, and Sakura gets a lot of teachers over the years for the price of lots of emotional trauma & loss.

also, she gets a big fuck-off sword.

starts off during wave arc. ZABUZA I LOVE YOU. he takes sakura in because he’s a lonely missing nin who got used to caring for another person. sakura isnt as against the idea of staying with zabuza as she tries to pretend to be. also, GOD the reactions of the rest of the konoha twelve really really break me?? sasuke spirals faster and naruto gets essentially adopted by sakura’s parents? and kakashi gets fiercely protective. warning for death, animal death, and kinda graphic murder? also theres no actual ship even a little implied so far

Sharp by ineffableblue

ship: none // words: 6309 // chapters 2/? // updated: 3/12/19

Sakura has been teased, gotten angry for that, then gotten teased for getting angry. Everything she does isn't enough. But she's observant and slowly she starts to find out that she fits in better in the ninja world than she ever imagined. The best ninja are always thought to be something else and Sakura is a master at being mistaken for harmless.

starts when shes baby. sakura is full of rage and bottling it up like a molotov cocktail (and her parent are given depth which is great! but they kinda suck which isnt so great! it's a "tough love" sort of thing but it still rubs me wrong) i love and support sakura's desire to seek out knowledge on her own! and i am SO HAPPY this fic updated i could cry,, i KNEW the title and desc were familiar when i saw them at the top of the sakura fic tag one day and i yelled when i realized it WAS the same fic i had already put under left unfished// op if you're reading this know that im filled w love and support :')

Because I Ache by Wyle23

ship: narusaku // words: 6512 // chapters: 3/? // updated: 9/4/18

Ugly are the truths of the world. Hate's competitor can jail just as blindly. Focused otherwise, though, what changes would her shift in truth bring? In which Konoha's young jinchuuriki stumbles upon not a Hyuuga, but a Haruno.

starts when theyre babies!! little five year olds who deserve better (bby sakura id do anything for you.. :’() theyve got tiny crushes and theyre so cute i wanna cry about it. ino nd sakura stay friends (thank god) and GOD i want ppl to stop being mean to naruto :((

The Shadows Claim Us by Nine_Stoic_Crayolas

ship: gaasaku // words: 6586 // chapters: 39/? // updated: 4/21/18

"You don't want to go near that one." "Why?" "...She's damaged goods."

takes place in suna! (sakura is an iwa native!) (also i have.no idea how old they are. it’s mentioned at one point that sakura’s 4 but.. idk? if there?s time skips?? there’s just lots of bits that arent worded right for them to be 4 through the whole fic.. idk. gimme ur input actually idk if i wanna keep this) gaara takes a shining to her bc sakura also gets called a monster. bro these little gremlins are fucking pissed. imagine a toddler yelling “fuck!” at you but constantly. warning for general mistreatment of children and mentions of death and blood

Serendipity by stirringwinds

ship: none // words: 6751 // chapters: 2/? // updated: 10/24/18

Sasuke had never known Senju Hashirama in person, of course. But he had grown up hearing stories about the First Hokage at his mother’s knee—about the legend who had defeated the most powerful member of their own clan. Enough stories to recognise what he was seeing—and to know he was witnessing his teammate perform the impossible.

Or, in the fight against Gaara during Suna’s attempted invasion of Konoha, the Ichibi’s attempt to kill Sakura awakens an unexpected power. It changes the destiny of Team Seven forever.

MOKUTON SAKURA BABEYYY!!!!! largely sasuke’s pov. also they’re all stupid and it’s funny and i love them// im literally foaming at the mouth and excited to see where the story goes and im :pensive:

Warmth by PotatoeGoddess

ship: inosaku // words: 7135 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 4/7/18

Sakura Haruno was born screaming and kicking and in some ways, she felt, she kind of never stopped.

starts off pre/early academy days. sakura is full of strong emotions and same hat. there’s comphet and sakura has such a crush on ino. what a useless gay. that’s not really a focus in the story (more just consistently implied) honestly dont all together know whats going on! but that’s par for the course

What Happens After by stirringwinds

ship: narusasusaku // words: 8044 // chapters: 3/? // updated: 1/13/19

Sakura deals with her feelings once she can stop focusing on stopping the world from imploding. Just what exactly is her place in this world?

This is just a lot of Sakura can't deal with life right now.

set post series. lotta sakura introspection! she’s dealing with a lot of feelings of inferiority and emotions she doesnt acknowledge bc shes a disaster bi. i  actually cried bc her feelings towards her own self worth hit me with all kinds of feelings of catharsis. canon sakura really needs smthn like this. just a chance to recover :(.. warning for lots of poly ships if ur not into that

⭐Catharsis by pastanoodle

ship: none // words: 10198 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 8/16/17

Sakura isn’t the kind of person to survive past Genin. She wears pink, fights over boys, and can’t throw a Kunai to save her life. Which is why no one expects her to live very long. To Sakura, graduating from the academy is like a reality check. Being a shinobi is nothing close to how civilian romance novels make it seem. Sakura has always been terrible at stopping when she should. So she changes pink to grey, forces herself to ignore Sasuke, and learns how to shatter bones with a single punch. Screw surviving. Sakura knows she’s going to die, but she’ll go down fighting.

starts off a little before wave except!! the full wave arc never happens and everything changes!! inner becomes a substantial part of the story and im so glad for it. oh my god this fic is so good and i love all the author notes, theyre so delicious. sakura starts developing from a calm, quiet, and accepting girl. to a shinobi who is pissed off about the hand she was dealt with and goddammit! shes gonna do something about it!!! you fucking go, girl, live your dream of being in the bingo books i love you. this fic hasnt updated in a while and im so teary eyed about it, i hope it’s not being left unfinished. i refuse to put it under that category bc im stubborn and hopeful. warning for death and gore in the second chapter

Red With Clay, or Into Fire by grit

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 10420 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 11/4/18

Headstrong, carrying her heart on her sleeve: Sakura is a smart and driven child who will fight for what's hers.

Or: Sakura gets a personality, Naruto some friends and Sasuke a childhood.

starts off during their litle genin introductions.TEAM AS FAMILY Y’ALL ALREADY KNOW! sasuke actually likes his team basically from the get go??? and sakura just wants her team to workout and they do! theyre getting there!!! oof!!!!!!!!

Breathe and Heal by Himechiiii

ship: narusasusaku // words: 11535 // chapters: 3/? // updated: 1/6/18

Two months. Two months had passed since the end of the Fourth Great Shinobi War. Two months and Sakura still hadn’t fully processed. Hadn’t fully healed. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now. I don’t know what my goal is supposed to be. You say that I’ve passed them, but it doesn’t feel like it. I close my eyes and all I see is their backs in front of me.”

Or in which Sakura realizes she is more than she thought she was, and lets herself be loved.

set post war. sakura gets well deserved time off of work to cope with things (and ino is real one :( please stop forgetting she’s her best friend) sakura loves her boys so much but god her inferiority complex makes me so sad

Promises by BombsAreForBabies

ship: none // words: 12376 // chapters: 8/? // updated: 10/29/18

It's her first kiss and Naruto's last. She promises him that she will bring Sasuke home. It's his dying wish, after all.

(Naruto bleeds out faster than the kyuubi can heal him.

Sakura learns that being a ninja is more than fancy jutsu and fun.

Sasuke does not know that he just killed his best friend and turned his most loyal comrade into his worst enemy.)

set after the first fight in the valley of the end. bamf sakura that deserves a break.. immediate warning for death :( kakashi and sakura connect in the aftermath and ino remains as the realest. sakura learns poisons from shizune!!!!! FINALLY!!! everyone cares about her a lot and that makes me happy but god can she PLEASE get a therapist

When I Grow Up I’ll Be An Avalanche (and i’ll grow up soon) by ulittuq

ship: none // words: 12900 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 12/10/18

A little civilian girl hears that genin are considered adults in the eyes of the law and she think yes please I need to get out--

The next week she starts the Academy.

Once a little civilian girl tells an orphan boy, God I wish I didn’t have parents, and she means it as a confession. A cry for help. The orphan boy hears selfishness spill from her mouth and snaps.

A little civilian girl, who has yet to see combat, wakes from nightmares gasping and clawing at her skin. No one notices.

au! naruto canon never gave us anything for sakura’s parent so fics like this own me! i like where theyre portrayed as abusive bc well canon doesnt disprove it! and projection. also. owns me inner also has more focus!! sakura just wants an out and she’s gonna do most anything to get there. also naruto love!! because he deserves it! warning for abuse (mentions of emotional and physical)  im super excited for more updates i like where the story is going!!

Mune Ga Hachikire Soude by clohsoo

ship: none // words: 15815 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 3/24/19

A deal is made between two devils and two girls share a demon.

HEY OP IF YOURE READING THIS: I LOVE YOU AND I SUPPORT YOU AND THIS IS SO GOOD TY FOR GIVING LOVE TO MY GIRL RIN,, au set mostly in rin's pov (i love the hobbies rin picks up, my little jack of all trades) danzo can still choke, sakura bby.. ily..:(((, ino is always amazing, and ANKO!! I LOVE YOU!!! OOF sakura's attempts at acting like a normal kid REALLY plucks at my heart strings// warning for child abuse bc root, death bc root, and trauma also.. bc root

⭐The Best-Looking Truth by Dovey

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 17378 // chapters: 6/? // updated: 1/7/19

Sakura doesn’t like to talk about her family. Most people assume it’s because she’s a nice young girl, and she doesn’t want to make everyone else feel bad, considering she’s on a team of orphans.

It has more to do with the fact that she killed her parents in self-defense and is desperately trying to cover up the murders, than any sympathy for her teammates- but she’s happy to let you assume what you want.

did that summary give you whiplash? because it absolutely made me collapse. set just before the bell test. also starts off pretty fucking strong. shes a traumatized kid trying to compartmentalize on her own while trying to make sure no one finds out about what she did. also she’s really smart in the way she’s dealing with the aftermath. really interesting (at least to me) is how despite her parents no longer having a direct hold on her life, she still abides by their rules. warning for (past) child abuse, murder, and occassionaly descriptive gore. godd i really want more (there’s narusaku and some sakura/oc but i dont think theyre permanent? the narusaku definitely isnt bc it was mostly an accident but im not sure abt the sakura/oc)

Control by Dragonist

ship: none // words: 17816 // chapters: 14/? // updated: 6/8/18

Kumo kidnaps a child of Konoha.

Sakura graduates from the academy only a year after starting it. There's a war going on, and she's obedient enough to stay quiet and follow orders.

Then the war ends, and it's unclear who is really giving them.

au (read notes for the changes) starts pre academy. bro??? theres a war going on and im stressed at how young she is when she graduates.. sai ily..warning for death, blood, and uh. bad medical practices

If I Live by Lalit

ship: none // words: 18344 // chapters: 9/? // updated: 8/21/18

Every action has a consequence. It took one girl to screw all of Orochimaru’s plans up, and nothing will ever be the same. “Look at you, such bloodlust. Darkness is a lovely shade on you, my dear.”

set during chunin exam. ANOTHER SAKURA GETS BIT INSTEAD OF SASUKE FIC. a little slow going in terms of timeline i guess? no timeskipping so far. love the relationship between team 7 here (esp that one scene w naruto. u did amazing sweetie!) warning for death and gore and also sexual undertones when orochimaru is there. he’s a creep and op sells it.

Black Hole Heart by LadyNyxRavus

ship: none // words: 20017 // chapters: 5/8 // updated: 2/18/19

By all accounts, Sakura is dead for the first five minutes of her life.

Yet, she continues. If she occasionally has too many, too sharp teeth then that's their business.

OKAY SO. im NOT a big of crossovers but HEAR ME OUT. sakura gets a symbiote in place of inner and she eats people and naruto is a little more feral and sasuke is the closest thing they have to handlers. warnings for cannibalism, blood, and gore. this is up there as one of the most self indulgent fics on here

Throwing a Stone in a River by theroadkillcafe

ship: none // words: 20221 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 9/7/18

When Sakura graduates from the academy, she suddenly finds her head invaded by the ghost of Uchiha Shisui. Her inner is gone, but not forgotten, and she struggles with impulse control more than ever before. But also, Shisui gives a lot of unsolicited advice - useful and otherwise - and does not shut the fuck up. He’s not thrilled about current events.

warning for immediate mentions of suicide and drowning (and implied eye gore) set just after they graduated from the academy. sakura’s got some fun mental things to deal with now that shes stuck w the ghost and seeing them kinda everywhere. have i mentioned that i love shisui? he’s really good and helps sakura out with gratuitous amounts of snark. warnings for more eye gore, blood, nightmares, and torture

If You Can't Hold on, Hold on by Fiercest

ship: sasusaku // words: 20780 // chapters: 8/? // updated: 12/4/18

Sakura always wished she could relate to her teammates better. She wishes she could take it back.

In which Sasuke acquires some unwanted roommates and a team becomes a family.

set post konoha crush. TEAM AS FAMILY!!! almost immediate warning for death :( gh// her team cares a lot abt her and want her to be okay and sasuke is making effort into being a source of support (he’s baby..) theyre all pretty traumatized (and god fucking awful at dealing with it) (not shippy at this point!)

⭐Find Your Place (Whatever it Takes) by Dovey

ship: none // words: 22296 // chapters: 11/? // updated: 12/28/18

The war lasts longer than in canon, and has only just ended. While most of the 'Konoha 12' are clan heirs and thus protected from having to go to war prematurely, Sakura is from a civilian family, with naturally advanced chakra control, and thus is thrown immediately onto the frontlines. Now she's on a genin team in peacetime, and she's struggling to figure out how to live when she's not constantly at risk of dying.

Team seven bonds in new weird ways, The Uchiha are actually all dead except for Sasuke (including war-hero itachi) who's got a chip on his shoulder the size of Konoha, Naruto isn't the kyuubi container and he finds Sakura kinda scary. Sakura would just like to have a hobby.

au. my girl deals with trauma and t7 learn to get along eventually (and unhealthily?) i love sakura’s war team a lot and they care abt each other a lot too and GOD i love shit that focuses on the advantages clan kids gets for being clan kids and especially for being heirs!! it’s just interesting as hell to read!! sakura fosters her hate and distrust for the state and GOD is that ever a good thing (kushina :(..) we’re in this shit for a REVOLUTION!! IM SO HYPE!!! warning for violence and mentions of death

⭐Building the Puzzle by ich_bin_ein_stern

ship: narusasusakusai // words: 22716 // chapters: 4/5 // updated: 8/27/18

In which Sakura feels disconnected after the 4th Shinobi War and decides to cut the string attaching her to Team Seven, if only for a few years. This does not settle well with the remaining members, past or present.

set post war. FULL POLY TEAM SEVEN BABY!!!!! there’s not a whole lot of content for poly7 that includes BOTH sai and sasuke. it’s usually one or the other which already puts this fic in my good graces uwu ino bby i love you so much they’re so tactile and close and it makes my heart melt and she cares abt sakura and wants them both to be okay. im indulging my need for a sakura who gets to travel!! she loves her team so much but she really needs to love herself first. the rest of her team learns to better themselves and it’s really nice to read. also GOD i say it often but sakura is so cool (esplecially vs the suna elders aa)

Moments of Perfection by kiwi_socks

ship: narusasusaku // words: 22880 // chapters: 6/? // updated: 5/9/18

It's a dream Sakura's had many times before. Until it is rudely interrupted by Naruto and Sasuke mistaking her kitchen window for the front door.

"Hey...we failed in so many ways before, do you think we'll get something right, or just screw up again?"

okay im NOT much of a fan of timetravel fics but everyone should know by now that poly team 7 actually owns me. theyre all stupid together (it’s solidarity). poor kakashi. there’s some fuckery happening!! perhaps i yelled WHAT!? at my phone at least once

⭐Kubikiribocho, My Love by IslitaBonita

ship: none // words: 23231 // chapters: 10/? // updated: 7/22/18

Where Sakura becomes better acquainted with Zabuza's sword, Kubikiribocho.

set mostly during wave. interesting bits of sakura vs herself. budding relationship between her and gaara (murder friends) the writing style is SUPER cool! blood, unhealthy attachment, impalement, and death. ugh! when will this fic come back from war

Believe Me When I Say I Cary All My Sins by Honestly Neptune (mypennameishidden)

ship: none // words: 24287 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 12/20/18

Sakura knew the best way to tear a man's spine out of his nose without breaking a sweat.

She didn't know how to live in a village with Minato as Hokage and the Uchiha clan as the beloved police force. She didn't know how to live as a disgraced genin in a bloody apartment with dead men knocking at her door.

She didn't know how to forgive herself for failing Konoha. Now she had a chance to save it.

au. SUCH cool take on the timetravel trope!! sakura is just angry and tired and she’s gonna make this timeline work so help her god. i love shisui and i love that he gets to be a main character here aa. warnings for blood and general violence

Dandelions Blow in Spring by capriicious

ship: none // words: 24507 // chapters: 13/? // updated: 11/25/18

sakura is in the land of waves, the seraphic, beautiful place filled with religious and cultural beliefs. her team mate is lying in front of her, dead, cold and so, so white. her sensei is bleeding out while fighting zabuza. naruto is fighting against the odds of hundred of senbons.

(or: sakura watches her team mates get beaten half to death and bleed out next to her when the fight ends and with that event set in her mind: realises that she's going to die unless she toughens up.)

au but starts off in wave during the fight w zabuza nd haku so immediate warning for blood, gore, death, and a bit of an unhinged mind bc it’s sakura pov and this is traumatic. i recommend reading the notes at the beginning of each chapter for trigger warnings. it’s a heavy fic. interesting bits about merchant business and the dark side of the village. only BARELY connected to canon. pretty much through characters alone, the whole story is different

Cut the Head off the Snake by itsthechocopuff

ship: none // words: 24601 // chapters: 8/? // updated: 1/2/19

when eighteen-year-old, post-war Sakura is thrown back into her tiny, pre-Academy body, she makes a decision. she’d had a childhood once already, and this time, she’s more interested in Not Dying when the inevitable shit hits the proverbial fan. so she will work harder, care less, kill more, and smile when she’s done.

and hey, if she ends up reviving an extinct nature transformation to attract the most corrupt, power-hungry man from her timeline, all the better for her, right?

IM MENTIONED IN THE NOTES?? UH HELLO I LOVE YOU. timetravel fic! war fesh sakura gets sent back into her pre academy self. sakura is gonna make shit work this time around and shes gonna go through root to do it! MOKUTON BABEY!!! it gets changed from a kekkai genkai to a learned skill based mostly on amazing chakra control (which my girl has in spades!!) SAI AND SHISUI BBY I LOVE YOU// im in love with shin now too and god damn it i want all of them to be okay :’( warning for death at the hand of trees, mentions of blood, and the massacre

Seeds of Knowledge by Ice_Eagle

ship: none // words: 24845 // chapters: 10/? // updated: 3/15/19

It starts with an Academy internship at the Konoha Library and Archives. The only problem is the Library/Archives has never had an intern before. Ever.

Everyone is an idiot at the beginning. There is always room to grow.

set during early academy days. first person pov and it switches from characters. i dont usually leans towards stories with lots of ocs (especially where theyre a major focus) BUT they’re all so interesting plus UM? i LOVE the detail put into the libraries aaa// sakura gets to live her strongest book nerd life. also im a huge fan of the concept of internships in shinobi villages and just of the adults caring abt the kids following them in their career choices. also sakura starts getting along with sasuke and it makes me super happy

Our Oath (We’re Expendable) by amako

ship: none // words: 27194 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 3/1/19

Apparently, Sakura is the last Haruno.

set post war, more during the recovery period. sakura gets to be part of a largely not well known clan with a secret that could put sakura’s life at risk if it got out. dont wanna spoil a lot but basically! she gets married and has to deal with clan things and letting other know

⭐If You Have the Hounds by dragonyfox

ship: narusasusaku // words: 31856 // chapters: 8/? // updated: 1/10/19

...go ahead and pursue.

can i just say.. this fic series really rips out my heart ..there were several parts i started tearing up at bc im tender and im baby! they all love each other more than anything and im crying just thinking about it. they literally built a whole fucking village because naruto is a mad man but his team loves him. literally they’re playing the longest con ever and it has me cackling. this is a hell of a fix it fic and it has me bawling itachi is really soft and team taka is there! (the way uzushio is described makes my heart swell w love im so proud of them)

These Bitter Weeds by Katlou303

ship: sasusaku // words: 33315 // chapters: 8/? // updated: 12/2/18

Sakura begged Sasuke to take her with him when he was leaving Konoha.

He said yes.

set when sasukes leaves. she somehow manages to convince him to let her join? her reasons are about as solid as they could be. in the first chapter you can definitely where it’s starting to change into unhealthy codependency. it really shows in this fic just how young they are.. all their ideals are fantastical and grandeur and it really drives a nail through my heart :( ino continues to be a real one, kakashi is going through it, and im reminded that i love kimi :(( warnings for violence, orochimaru and kabuto, and dismembered limbs. nothing shippy insofar, can be read as friendship

seek by cloverhoney

ship: sasusaku // words: 39062 // chapters: 12/? // updated: 1/15/19

Sakura disappears after taking a lifelong mission in exchange for Sasuke’s post-war acquittal. To give her the upper hand over her new targets and protect her from becoming a target herself, the world is told that Sakura is dead and gone - but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Sakura quickly finds she is still not strong enough to face her new enemies, and she seeks power in Shikkotsu forest. Sasuke, suspicious of the circumstances surrounding her death, seeks the truth regarding her disappearance, reconnecting with his childhood friends along the way.

Kakashi, the new Rokudaime, promises to keep Sakura’s secret, but with Sasuke on his heels, a council hell-bent on erasing the evidence, and the guilt of an empty grave, nothing can stay hidden for long.

set post war/pre epilogue. TAGS SAY SAGE SAKURA BITCH!!! (AND MOKUTON BABEY) shes nice but dumb and thats just team 7 (shes their single brain cell.. how dare she :(((( ) fuck the council. fuck those elders. fuck blue lives mariah carey’s skinny. my only gripe is that shes written as having small chakra reserves nd low stamina and im like. hello? Absolutely Not. whatever parts her Legendary chakra control dont cover, her seal is still there. small reserves my ass. also taijutsu is Literally one of her specialties >:( this happens in fics so often and im *teeth gritting* (FUCK. ACTUALLY. SHE’S FRESH OUT OF THE WAR. SHES TOUGH AS SHIT BY THIS POINT. im angry and annoyed and sad!!!) lol read if you want though. there are some neat bits (like when theyre in shikkotsu forest) mentions of eye gore, death, and blood (t..tbh.. i ignored all the sasuke bits :V IM SORRY I ONLY THINK THE PARTS WITH SAKURA ARE INTERESTING)

How Team 7 Came to Be by spica_starson

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 40916 // chapters: 5/15 // updated: 10/22/18

What if: -Naruto had reached out to Sasuke earlier on? -Sakura never developed a crush on Sasuke? -The team isn't just a repeat of their predecessor?

What if Team 7 stayed together through thick and thin?

Or: If Team 7 was the focus of the series.

sakura isnt in the first chapter BUT she still gets to be a focal point because of course and the second chapter is dedicated to her. y’all already KNOW im soft for team as family fics!! they’re all best friends and care about each other a lot and im really weak okay. also kakashi loves his new kids. not a cliffhanger! so dont worry if you’re not up for waiting on an update or are like me and prefer reading finished fics! (there’s a separate spinoff one shot, not canon to the original fic, titled Alone set when naruto and sasuke fight on the roof)

Crow’s Disciple by Tobi_Black

ship: none // words: 42135 // chapters: 36/? // updated: 12/9/18

Sakura's just a child, a civilian, considered harmless. No one looks at the pink-haired little girl and sees the kunoichi, the shinobi, that she could become. They don't see the calculating glint in her eyes, nor the claws hidden. They don't see beyond the shy smile and tears. They don't see the loyal heart willing to give everything for those loved. Not yet.

starts off pre academy w sakura nd naruto both in the same orphanage. UGH MY GIRL IS SO SMART and this writing style lends itself so WELL to detail ghghgh// sakura’s bestfriends continue to be blondes and ino fosters a baby crush aa. SHISUI BBY ILY (and asuma gets to be a prominent figure in sakuras life which i hadnt read in a fic before) warnings for violence, death, blood

⭐Dangerous Habits (Dangerous Girl) by Dovey

ship: none // words: 44210 // chapters: 24/? // updated: 11/21/18

After the disasterous mission in Wave, Sakura returns to Konoha with a new drive: she wants to truly earn her spot on Team 7, and be able to protect her teammates. Unfortunately, nobody else seems to be willing to support her new goal, so she resorts to teaching herself: she decides her team needs a medic, and since she doesn’t have the connections or record to earn a place at the hospital, she practices on herself.

AKA the fic where sakura gets to be as dumb and have as little regard for her personal wellbeing as every other Naruto character, & teaches herself how to heal by inflicting & then fixing her own injuries. This deals both with some major changes to the plotline given her new skills, and the overall team dynamic.

starts post wave. sakura gets that kick in the ass to get better and do it fast and she gets to be as reckless as her teammates like she deserves! no one helps her initially but god DAMMIT if shes not gonna do something anyway (flexing her smarts!! shes such a genius and yeah it’s chaotic as hell in this fic but god if it isnt cool) she gets a VERY unhealthy addiction to pain and has to deal with generally negative feelings of self worth.. BUT finds a pal and a friend in gaara :) she gets close to her teammates (sasuke bby… :(((..) and friendly w tenten and tsunade and anko! chapter 12 has a scene w cool imagery// HEFTY (and pretty immediate bc it hits u in the first chapter) warnings for gore, death, self mutilation, misuse of organs (lol), blood, implications of sexual abuse (doesnt happen, the adults are just concerned that thats whats happening and not her. yknow. doing all of uh That)

Unbreakable Company by Shyaway95 and teslatempest

ship: sakura & kakashi // words: 44407 // chapters: 4/15 // updated: 2/5/19

Naruto and Sasuke were gone. Their Village had just begun recovering from the invasion, and every available shinobi was needed. Kakashi knew it was his duty to serve, to leap back into the darkness of ANBU at his Hokage’s command. It was only the thought of pink hair and desperate green eyes that made him pause. Would he abandon his last, remaining student?

He would as soon pluck out his right eye.

They were all that was left of Team Seven and Kakashi was going to make them unbreakable.

set after sasuke defects. HONESTLY kakashi actually doing smthn about his “people who abandon their teammates are worse than scum” saying that he likes to repeat is everything i couldve wanted. sakura deserves all the support in the world and this fic REALLY delivers. this is also a REALLY good fic if you like kakashi and want him to be happy about something. team seven as family is real!! could easily be read as a one shot if you dont wanna wait for updates or read a longer fic!

⭐Early Summer Rain by orlha

ship: none // words: 50063 // chapters: 14/15 // updated: 3/5/19

Having parents doesn’t always mean it’s a good thing and just because scars can’t be seen doesn’t mean they don’t exist. The Chuunin Exams leaves Sakura an orphan and she doesn’t cry.

set post konoha crush. immediate warning for death. sakura has been through a lot and kakashi is a sweetheart. he’s still pretty awkward but his heart is in the right place! god sakura i love you much :((((( shes got a lot of trauma and feelings of inadequacy and it hurts me. sasuke is angrier and naruto continues to be amazing (and i love him for giving sakura smthn to strive for) AND GENMA IS THERE! I LOVE YOU GENMAAA (AND SHIKA)!!! sakura gets praised for her chakra control and god does she deserve it. kakashi gets a clan! and sakura finds herself a family! and inner stays! listen. this shit has me SOBBING. she’s on the road to recovery and getting better everyday and my heart is WARM!! god im so happy this story has me happy stimming at some points ghuhg// warnings for child abuse, mentions of torture, attempted suicide, self harm, relapse, violence, blood, and mentions of eye trauma. there is an ongoing “sequel” with aus based in the early summer rain universe!

Learning Curve by ishiryoku

ship: sakura & team 7 // words: 50529 // chapter: 5/? // updated: 1/14/19

This is the life she chose: the path of the shinobi. It's either roll with the punches or be left behind by her team—and Sakura's not about to let them go off on their own.

starts off during the end of the wave arc. i love the self analyzing in the first chapter and also that wake up call. in a better (more sakura loving) universe this is that turning point that we shouldve gotten :( ALSO CAN I JUST AAA!!! all the little times kakashi is there to reassure her make me wanna fucking BAWL plus this is THE team as family fic i’ve been needing in my life aa GOD sakura just loves her team so muuucccchhh// the tags say mokuton sakura and fuuinjutsu naruto but it’s not there yet! (also naruto get bit, yikes) warnings for lots of dissociation, death, self loathing, paranoia, and trauma

Satori (Between the Lines) by jaylene

ship: none // words: 50665 // chapters: 12/? // updated: 3/3/18

While attending the Academy, Sakura's field experience assignment with the Konohagakure Intelligence Division ends up being more valuable than she'd ever guess.

another fic w/ the concept of interns and adults fostering the growth of ninja kids before they graduate! my girl is constantly flexing her smarts and im so proud! (torune is just a baby who deserved better than canon gave him :() and GOD i love ino!! and so does sakura and she just loves her friends a lot and people in general bc her baby heart is so filled with love and OOF// the aburame are SO interesting im thankful for the focus they get (and the focus on ciphers and T&I and ibiki!) god theyre all kids. just little babies :((( warnings for bullying and manipulation (however unintentional, it doesnt negate the harm caused)

Ties That Bind; Break by Igot2peedou

ship: shikasaku // words: 50931 // chapters: 17/25 // updated: 8/25/18

She severs their ties, decidingly, not because of Sasuke. Well. Not for the reason Ino suspects (but Sakura never clarifies, and that is lying by omission. isn't it?)

~~~

Sakura Haruno can’t help but feel. Not only her emotions but other peoples emotions. She is always prone to crying and for good reason— she can’t shut others emotions and must deal with her own and those closest to her (relationship wise.) Because a painfully tragic incident involving her father’s murder Sakura can no longer handle her “gift” and does the only thing that will stop her suffering.

She commits social suicide, and lets her best friend think she ended their friendship over a boy. This is her story....

au. set when sakura starts her rivalry w ino. sakura can sense emotions??? warning for death mention in first chapter and wow okay thats a lot. sasuke is traumatized and it takes out sakura and oof! this story is so so interesting,, shes stumbling her way through figuring out how her small clan’s blood line(?) works (how it’s more of a hassle than anything) also it gives her a really good disposition to genjutsu which she tries to get better in (she also had an earth affinity plus all of team 7 have a petty rivalry going on) sakura has trauma and goes hard in the exams. warnings for blood, gore, disembowelment, dismemberment, animal and human abuse/death, the rivalry between t7 is baaaaadd,, also disorienting plot twist in chapter 16! 

Her Eyes Saw It All by ich_bin_ein_stern

ship: none // words: 63502 // chapters: 13/? // updated: 8/29/18

Sakura can’t recall much of the details regarding the mission in Wave, but what she does remember - there are scars left behind. The life she knows changes after this mission and, for better or worse, she accepts it and moves forward. She won’t allow herself to fall behind.

set during wave au. i love when characters continue to survive due to sheer instinct and pure stubborness. TEAM AS FAMILY!! theyre all so supportive of each other it makes my heart hurt (im soft serving it so hard. theyre SO nice to each other and theyre Actually friends and naruto and sasuke support sakura SO much it makes me cry) sncjf and the nara family is so fucking sweet also MOKUTON!! AND SHE HAS THREE AFFINITIES!!!!! (mokuton is changed here from a kekkei genkai to a learned skill tho) honestly it’s just what she deserves. also sakura is just SO level headed and smooth??? it’s really neat. warning for a healthy dose of death and gore in chp12, it picks up fast

In Death, Life by TeaFourTwo

ship: none // words: 136409 // chapters: 13/? // updated: 3/24/19

Only by reason of having died does one enter into life.

“Sakura. Just Sakura” Thats how they’d introduced her. She knew it was true, she was no longer a Haruno after all, but it didn’t stop the words from feeling like a dull knife in her side.

Or, Sakura goes to the Uchiha compound the night of the massacre and comes away an orphan with more questions than answers.

au starts when theyre babies!!! before ino nd sakura become rivals. baby sakura loves her friends a lot she didnt deserve that :((( super interesting bits tying sakura to the uzumaki?? sasuke.. :( .. sakura is traumatized and doesnt know who her family is and doesnt trust what people say to her (tenten is in the same orphanage as her! naruto too and i love him and i wanna personally hurt everyone who’s ever been mean to him) NARUTO AND SAKURA BEST FRIENDS!!! traitors are everywhere!! and the branch family get me feeling some type of way (can danzo choke.. fr…) the depth given to yin and yang chakra… ops mind…FUCK all the myths and spiritual stuff and how it’s all forgotten history?? UGH im in love/// (tsunade… mom..) warnings for the massacre, death, and blood

⭐Second Bite at the Cherry by Sakinthra

ship: none // words: 142249 // words: 41/? // updated: 3/25/19

There's been a storm brewing inside Sakura ever since Sasuke left to seek out Orochimaru, and the growing realization that she might not be half the shinobi her teammates are. She's always been the one that held back and let the boys finish the job, but it's clear she can't let herself be the weak one any longer. It's time to take her fate into her own hands...and it starts with breaking into a library.

set post sasuke rescue mission. i LOVE the introspection and worldbuilding im such a sucker for it// she gets to make rash and stupid decisions while still flexin her smarts and i am HERE for it!! she questions the state and adds skills to her arsenal (which is. tiny for a long time) shes smart and quick thinking but rash and impulsive so of course leaving the village and convincing ppl she went after sasuke is what she settles on (smh. her heart and heads in the right place bust smh) GAARA BBY I LOVE YOU SO VER MUCH (shukaku.....) (and fine.. i kinda love u too kakashi >:/) theyre a couple of dumb brats trying to help people (sai joins!!!!! his interactions w gaara especially are endearing) (hidan? is a prominent figure? i hate that hes one of my faves...... big fan of the depth given to his religion tho. it's super fascinating) BOIII NARUTO GETS DISILLUSIONED BY JIRAIYA AND GOES TO TSUNADE AND MY HEART IS BEATING OUT OF MY CHEST/// naruto's choice makes me wanna cry and sasukes little intermissions are pretty funny and get interesting (i support u karin!!) theyre dumb kids stumbling into politics and ending up going on a quest to save the world? the way all the pieces shift into place.. how the wheels start turning... the rest of the nine getting involved... poetic cinema.....warnings for death, blood, and decapitation

⭐Five Petals by PrecariousSauce

ship: sasusaku // words: 143900 // chapters: 22/? // updated: 2/6/19

Several things happen all at once in less than a minute’s time.

Sakura’s elbow slams into Sasuke’s side from an angle he doesn’t anticipate, sending him tumbling end over end off the branch.

Sasuke rights himself just a second too late and without checking where he’s going to land– When he does his knee twists, he feels a lightning bolt of pain shoot from his sole to his head, his leg gives out.

And Orochimaru’s teeth sink down to the gum in Sakura’s shoulder.

starts during chunin exams. timeline is followed pretty closely. fic is mostly centered around sasuke and from his perspective but sakura has the most pivotal change (:(). sasuke is cute, sakura is so in over her head, and naruto is naruto. sasuke loves his team a lot :(( and GOD i love when the kids act like kids even though that reminder hurts. sasuke takes up healing!! how cool is that!! AND TSUNADE IS SO FUCKING COOL I LOVE HER!!! and danzo should choke fr..... AND GOD DO I LOVE THE KONOHA 12//// warning for orochimaru, violence, death, and blood

⭐Hoshigaki by writer168

ship: none // words: 168116 // chapters: 32/? // updated: 3/10/19

When Sakura was three, her father told her he was a criminal. When she was seven, the last thing she saw of him was the sword on his back. When she was eight, she had a friend named Kiba. When they were twelve, they met Shino.

And when they were genin, they began to fight for the truth because they could no longer fight for the sake of Konoha.

au. sakura is kisame’s kid! kakuzu.. kinda sucks, konan is alright, pein is really dramatic, and sasori nd orochimaru are awful as per usual. kisame is just doing what he can to be a good dad :((( sakura is real smart and kiba is great and so is shino!! (ily baby) theyre all bestfriends and theyre all a little weird and i love them so much :’) theyre all manipulative little shits and i love them for it (and i love you too naruto) kurenai’s team develops dangerously (really starts to show in chapter 18) honestly this writing style really knows how to keep me absolutely enthralled (hiruzen and danzo.. i’ll kill you with my bare hands) i love kurenai and i love how much she cares abt her team :’( tenzo baby.. be there for them (same at you kotetsu) kisame is a good dad okay!! im not changing my mind on that! orochimaru can choke!!!!! team 8 is a family and theyre ride or die bc theyre really in some deep shit!!! i need the state dismantled and my kids are gonna do great. (bro im so fucking weak for all the world building and symbolism, GOD this fic is written so fucking amazingly) warning for young pregnancy, death, blood, gore, child endangerment, human experimentation, and eye gore/horror

LEFT UNFINISHED

Dirty Family Secrets by orphan_account

ship: none // words: 1431 // chapters: 1/?

Post-Sasuke defection to Orochimaru.

Something feels off about Sakura's parents, but before she can question them about it, they're both gone. She came from a family of civilians, there is no way both her parents were traitors, right?

Kakashi's Apprentice by Right2nowthen

ship: narusasusaku // words: 3440 // chapters: 1/1

In which Kakashi and Sakura hit the road and everything changes.

The Cherry Blossom Blooms Twice by Right2nowthen

ship: none // words: 3666 // chapters: 1/1

Who or what is Inner Sakura? As the fate of the world hinges on this question, Sakura seeks answers...

Today I Choose Joy by Nine_Stoic_Crayolas

ship: none // words: words: 5867 // chapters: 4/? // updated: 8/11/17

Sakura can See certain things. A story about a little girl, a couple of red eyes and Death.

The Company of Trees by theroadkillcafe

ship: none // words: 22646 // chapters: 5/? // updated: 6/7/17

Sakura is bullied, a dead kekkei genkai is reborn, and things go a little bit...differently.

Haruno Sakura and the Heuristic Method by MoofieLou

ship: inosaku // words: 41986 // chapters: 8/? // updated: 6/22/17

The flower that blooms last may catch the wildest wind of them all.

Alternatively: Sakura graduates from the academy, buys herself some anmitsu to celebrate, and arrives home to find her mother being beaten bloody by a thief. Things are different after that.

--

A heuristic method (/hjᵿˈrɪstᵻk/; Ancient Greek: εὑρίσκω, "find" or "discover"), often called simply a heuristic, is any approach to problem solving, learning, or discovery that employs a practical method not guaranteed to be optimal or perfect, but sufficient for the immediate goals.

set when the kids graduate. op retconned ino nd sakura rivalry and im thankful they stay best friends warning for violence in chapter 2. theres smthn i love abt blinding panic turned into survival instinct. sakura is prone to anger and i LOVE it!! also her family is fleshed out!! i love sakura so so much shes really snarky and smart (and she becomes kakashis fave! oof!!!) ggg team 7 getting along fills me with icky gooey love/// warnings for violence and blood. this fic hasnt updated in such a long time but it’s so so good and im hurt it left on a cliffhanger :((

Tempest by cywsaphyre

ship: none // words: 45233 // chapters: 6/? // updated: 7/20/12

Back in time and armed with years of future knowledge, Sakura is ready to take the world by storm. Except... she's four again, not twelve. Ah well, nobody said she couldn't start a little early. Gen, time travel, AU, Sakuracentric.

time travel fic but she baby! also oh FUCK my heart is melting naruto is baby and sakura wants her boys to be happy this time :’( and also ino is baby and i love her. GOD theyre all four years old and babies and sasuke is so cute and my heart huuuurrtss :’((((( my baby girl is so smart and she loves strongly and theyre all little brats acting like kids and im soft (team 10 feelings..) (and sakura is Literally preventing a massacre bc she fucking rules) MY TEAM SEVEN LOVE MUSCLES ARE FLEXING!! warning for mentions of trauma, mentions of kidnapping, blood, and death. this fic hasnt updated since 2012 though like.. *incomprehensible*

A Lot of Fight Left in Me by Stormwind13

ship: none // words: 73814 // chapters: 12/? // updated: 10/29/17

Sasuke deserted the village. Naruto is being taken away for his own safety. Sakura is left with the broken remains of her team and a teacher that's barely in the village, but she'll find a way to make this work. She has to, because all those lectures about teamwork had to mean something. Didn't they?

this fic hasnt updated in a while but it's so good :((( team 7 is in shambles and sakura just wants a teacher and to get better (i love iruka...) OH! and i love how close the konoha 12 are:) i love the little worldbuildy bits that give depth to the village. theres lots of ocs and a mini uzushio (that sakuras a part of!!) it's super interesting but hasnt updated since 2017 and i checked and this fic was the most recently updated fic op has :((((( it's still a good length and a great read but leaves at a cliffhanger which isnt as bad if you stop at the last break. warning for violence

[ellanainthetardis]

A much needed discussion in the Snow’s aftermarth today! I hope you like it! Please, let me know!

[ff] or [ao3]

Chapter 37 : The Worst Word

The roof was the same and yet something felt off.

Everything felt off, really.

He had lasted five minutes in the penthouse, time enough to check that the bar cart was still liquor free. The familiarity of the place felt displaced. The same but different. Difficult to explain, impossible to apprehend and fucking terrifying.

His heart was still missing a beat now and then before racing to catch up, consequence of Snow’s visit. It might have been easier if Peeta hadn’t remained locked in his room. Maybe. He wasn’t sure. Being confronted to the boy and his failed broken promise didn’t do anything for him but knowing the boy was in pain because of him…

His train of thoughts came to a stop when the door opened and he looked up from where he was sitting with his back against the low wall. Effie’s face was a blank mask of content happiness that he knew better than to believe, he looked away before she could make eye contact, fighting against a new wave of shame.

Snow might as well have cut his balls and made him eat them in front of her.

Fucking bruised pride.

It should have been the last of his worries but going head to head with the President had made him annoyingly clear-headed.

“How are you?” she asked, glancing over the wall at the Capitol beneath. He didn’t know how he felt about the surrounding noises of cars engines, horns, people talking, walking, breathing… On one hand, it was an aggression. On the other, it drowned his thoughts and that wasn’t a bad thing.

“Peachy.” he muttered, bumping his head against the wall once, as if to better convince himself.

“Haymitch.” she rebuked. A reminder that they were alone and he didn’t need to pretend, he figured.

He closed his eyes, forcing a fake levity to his voice. “Like I was tossed in a locked room with a bunch of friends I was forced to murder?”

It fell flat. So flat.

He swallowed hard, not looking when she lowered herself to the ground next to him in a puff of pink fabric. He felt her hand on his arm, light, and he made a conscious effort not to flinch or shrug it off. He felt wary of people violating his personal space. He felt… On edge. And he wanted a weapon, his weapon but the thought of asking for the knife that had killed Chaff…

He let out a small sigh. “You know, sweetheart, I can’t believe you didn’t make sure the bar would be stocked. Expected better of you.”

It wasn’t exactly a joke, more of a warning. He wasn’t remaining sober. Not if he could help it.

She snorted, a touch bitter but not quite surprised. “I need you sharp a little while longer.”

“I guess.” he sighed again. He felt her wriggle next to him and he opened his eyes to see her pull out a battered cigarette packet and a lighter from very well hidden pockets. The lighter wasn’t the silver one Finnick had gifted her with but a cheap plastic white one branded with the logo of a popular club downtown. He didn’t ask why the change. He could guess. He snatched a cigarette from the packet without waiting to be offered. If he couldn’t drink, he would take what he could get. “How many of those did you smoke while I was gone?”

She let out a chuckle and lit his cigarette before doing the same for the one she had wedged between her red painted lips. She took a drag and blew out the smoke slowly before giving him a small shrug. “Enough that we can stop pretending it is simply stress-smoking, I suppose.” She waved the lighter dismissively. “I will quit again. Eventually.”

He breathed in the smell of cigarette, letting it invade everything. It was better than imagining coal dust or remembering pure outdoor air. The city might be just what he needed after all. Polluted air that nobody would have accused of being fresh… No risk of confusing his surroundings for an arena.

He stared at the red glow of the cigarette as it consumed itself between his quivering fingers.

“How’s the boy doing?” he asked after a few minutes.

She took her sweet time answering that, debating what to say and what to keep silent to spare his feelings.

“Right now, he is upset.” she said slowly. “He had not realized… He never thought you would not want to go back to Twelve. I do not think he truly thought about the… nature of the arena.”

“Did you?” he retorted. It surprised him a little that she seemed to have grasped the problem before he had even voiced it. But, then again, it wasn’t her first rodeo either.

“As soon as they unveiled it.” she confessed, taking a nervous drag. Her fingers weren’t that steady either. “I heard through the grapevine this particular arena was a last minute decision. It was in the work somewhere, of course, it takes years to build them as you know, but… They had another one in mind for the Quell until a few months ago. Perhaps there were some malfunctions…”

“Sure.” he scoffed. “Malfunctions.” Or the possibility that Heavensbee had babbled about it to the rebels – or to some victors. “Sent a clear message though, yeah?”

“Rather, yes. For those of us who knew how to read between the lines, at least. And I suppose the Districts saw it clearly for what it was too.” she admitted. “This Quell was a hit. The ratings have never been higher.”

“Awesome.” he deadpanned, flicking ashes away. “I’m guessing I wasn’t the popular choice, though.”

“You would be mistaken, then.” she countered carefully. “Cashmere was the clear favorite on the betting boards but… After Katniss… People were rooting for you.”

It made it worse somehow.

“How much do they want a piece of our asses?” Those were important questions, he told himself. Those were the questions he would need the answers to if he wanted to play the game. The red glow of the cigarette was coming dangerously close to his skin but he brought it to his lips anyway, not quite sure if he wanted to get burned or if he was desperate for the reassuring pattern smoking involved: bring it to his mouth, breathe in, take it away, breathe out, flick ash, repeat. No room for intrusive memories.

Effie crushed the bud of her own cigarette against the ground and then tossed it away. “For now, Peeta is safe because of Katniss but I would advise on sending him back to Twelve as soon as possible. He is grieving, we can use that excuse.”

He nodded once to show his approbation of this plan. Sending the boy away would solve more than one problem. He wouldn’t have to face his failure every day for starter. “And us?”

They had been lucky the previous year because anyone with common sense had put two and two together, had realized it equaled poisonous berries and hadn’t really tried to grab anyone from the winning team. They wouldn’t be that lucky this time around, he suspected. Effie would be the escort of the season and he was the current victor. They were both attractive enough. The conclusion wasn’t a leap.

“I won’t be an escort much longer. I can navigate through that.” she hummed. “You… Well, victors your age are usually solicited for the whole package. They want the pretence of a romance not just sex… If we came out… It would go a long way into removing both of us from the playing field.”

Her voice was tentative. It wasn’t difficult to understand why. He had never reacted well to any mention of their relationship before the morning of the Quell’s Reaping, before he had thought… She was wary and she had reasons to be, he figured.

“We need to go public.” he stated, crushing the bud of his cigarette under his boot. “Snow’s counting on it now.”

She frowned. “I fail to see…”

“Oh, come on, Princess.” he scowled. “A victor and an escort falling in love? It shows the Districts you’re not all that bad, that there’s good there… Why do you think he was so ready to let me stay?” Besides the fact it was smarter to keep Haymitch close where he could watch him. He shook his head. “Never mind me being in love with an escort. I fucking won two Quells. I’m the fucking Districts' champion.”

All that talk of being in love made something flash on her face, something like awe and longing, but it was gone under a well crafted mask of blankness before he could try to analyze it.

“He was very clear about our marriage being…” she argued.

“Yeah, let’s never talk about what happened earlier ever again, okay?” he cut her off, getting to his feet with less grace than he would have liked. He paced the length of the roof, wrapping his good arm around his aching chest. “Marriage is something else. It’s too much. It sets a precedent he doesn’t want. I don’t have the same rights you do. I’m a victor, yeah, but legally that’s still a far shot from a Capitol citizen. Being together is one thing… Good for country unity… Advertising us as equal… Totally another, Princess.”

He paced back and forth. From the edge of the roof to the door. Again and again, finding some comfort in the repetitive pattern. Wasn’t that the first sign of insanity or something?

“It is more than I ever expected.” she whispered.

He kept on pacing, licking his lips.

It was more than he had ever expected too. They had gone from the best they could get being a few weeks a year to the possibility of a life together.

He thought it was a trap, a life insurance.

Because once he got that life, they would have to pry it away from his cold dead hands.

“You can still back out.” he offered.

He couldn’t do any of it alone, that much was clear to him, but he wouldn’t condemn her to share his prison. She could come willingly or…

“Are you moving in with me or are you staying in the penthouse?” she asked, as if she hadn’t heard him at all. “Nobody said you had to stay in the penthouse and if we do come out as a couple, there is no reason to expect you wouldn’t live with me. Brutus was renting a flat when he spent months in the city… It isn’t unprecedented for a victor not to reside at the Center. We should be living together, I think. We have been sleeping together for so long… I am ready for the next step. Aren’t you?”

She sounded so serious, it stopped his frantic pacing. He stood there, one arm around his chest, the other hanging limply by his side, watching the small crease between her eyebrows that meant she was deep in thought.

“My apartment is big enough, I suppose… Although perhaps we should look for something a little roomier in time. There are darling houses on the market near Main Square…” she hummed. “My father might even own a few, who knows… He is always buying and selling properties… I shall ask. And…”

“Snow threatened to kill you and you want to go house hunting?” he spat, cutting her off. She looked up at him, startled by the words.

“I thought we just agreed to never talk about it again?” she winced. She fished another cigarette and lit it, betraying just how unsettled on the issue she really was.

Haymitch’s hands were shaking badly and he bundled the one she could see in a fist.

“He wants to kill you. Because of me.” he growled. “Because I…”

His voice trailed off.

“Because you love me.” she supplied calmly. The only tell of nervousness was her trembling fingers when she brought the cigarette to her lips. “It had nothing to do with what happened before the Quell, you realize. Everyone in the business knows we are lovers. It was only a matter of time… It is as much my fault as yours.”

“He was going to kill you…” he said again and it sounded almost pleading. He didn’t know what he was begging her for. Common sense? For her to run and not look back because he would end up getting her murdered and it was more than he could bear? “He was going to…”

“You stopped him.” she said softly.

His cheeks flushed crimson with embarrassment and he turned away from her, walked straight to the wall and rested his elbows on the edge, wondering what it would be like to fall down, to… He closed his eyes. Not like it was even a possibility with the force field in place…

The mix of tobacco and perfume reached his nose before he felt her presence at his back. He flinched when she placed her hand on his shoulder and he wondered if that instinctive reaction would ever stop, tried to remember when it had stopped last time…

“You do not want to talk about earlier because you thought it was weak, that you were weak…” she whispered and he bodily shuddered in mortification. Give him a good lashing on a public square every day rather than this. At least he could still somehow get out of it with his dignity intact, with… She pressed herself against his back, not hard enough that he felt trapped, just enough that he could feel her warmth… “I thought I never saw you stronger.” He scoffed at that but she didn’t let herself be distracted. “What you did… What he made you do… It was meant to be humiliating and I understand why you feel that way, I do… But Haymitch… How can I find it anything but strong when you accepted it for me? When you went through that for me?”

He took a few deep breaths, doubting he would ever see it that way.

“Seems like I do a lot of stupid shit for you.” he muttered.

And that wasn’t him. He wasn’t the fool who did stuff out of love. He wasn’t the hero in those romance stories she liked so much who ended up defying the odds just so he could get the hot smut scene at the end of the book. He wasn’t the guy who risked it all for the girl. Was he?

“I really wanted Katniss to win.” he said just to hear it out loud, just to remind them that this hadn’t been the plan and that no part of them, none at all, should be happy at the perspective of being granted a life together. It wasn’t right.

“We all did, darling.” she promised. She leaned a little more against him, seeking comfort maybe. “We couldn’t do anything… When it happened… We knew what Johanna was planning and we couldn’t do anything… There was some money left and Peeta kept telling me we should send something, find a way to warn you, but I knew… I knew it would be too late. I knew by the time we contacted the Gamemakers and requested a parachute… I knew we had lost. It was one of those times, you know?”

“Yeah.” he sighed.

After a few Games… There were patterns. Victors with a sound brain and a few of the escorts eventually became experts in the art of predicting what would happen in which time frame. And, he figured, everyone who had been involved in the Games for long enough knew those moments when they came: the moment of clarity when you realized that, as a mentor, as someone sitting outside the arena, you were powerless to help the tribute about to meet his death on the screen. And there was nothing but grim acceptance in those moments because there was nothing else to do but watch and admit that you had lost.

“Johanna pushed the tree, it went down, Katniss screamed, you tried to step aside…” she whispered. “It is all so clear in my mind… I couldn’t watch the live feed, I could only stare at your monitor, at your heartbeat, at…” She took a deep breath. “You didn’t die and my heart soared and then… Then I realized Peeta had gone white, I realized Katniss’ monitor had shut down…” She shook her head. “I didn’t even reach for him. I couldn’t. You attacked Johanna and…”

“And I beat her to death?” he finished, feeling sick to the stomach at the memories her words were bringing back. He didn’t want to face those memories. He didn’t want to think about… He glanced down at his right hand, not surprised to see a fist but surprised that it was free of blood. Not even a scratch on his knuckles. The doctors had seen to that.

Effie sneaked an arm around his waist, buried her face between his shoulder blades. “I have never been as grateful to Chaff as I was when he came for you. I… I feel so sorry for all I said to him, about him, all those years…”

“Chaff was an idiot.” he snapped, pain and anger mixing in his voice. He wanted to shrug her off and storm out, away, but he was rooted to the spot. It was a curious paradox: the need to be alone to lick his wounds battling with the desperate craving he felt for her. He bowed, letting his shoulders slouch under the weight of it all. “He rigged it, you know. He let me win. Idiot. Fucking idiot…” He shook his head, unable to keep the edge off his voice, unable to bear it even as her arm tightened around him as if to anchor him. “What did he do it for? He had a sister, people… Why would he go and…”

His voice broke and he left that sentence unfinished.

It was a long time before she ventured a guess, sounding far too knowing for someone who had never seen eye to eye with his best friend. “He knew he was dying.”

“Bullshit.” he snarled. “All he had to do was win. They’d have fixed him. The fuck did he have to go and make me win for?”

She was very careful when she spoke next. “Has it occurred to you… What Katniss was to you, what Finnick was to Mags… Has it occurred to you that you were that to Chaff?”

“Don’t be stupid.” he sneered.

“Am I being stupid?” she hummed. “He was your mentor, wasn’t he? Perhaps not officially but… You told me enough times that you felt you owed him. He was very protective of you… Why, I lost count of all the lectures he gave me.”

“Lectures?” he frowned.

“He thought I would break your heart.” she sighed. “Either by ending up dead or by leaving you. I never wanted to listen.”

He snorted because he could perfectly imagine it. Chaff trying to threaten her into being sensible…

“Never did either.” he admitted, covering her hand with his. And he couldn’t say he regretted it. Not really. He rubbed his face with his free hand. “I’m tired.”

“You should rest, take a nap.” she suggested gently. “Mr Harwyn and Maya are coming to dinner tonight. It will be nice to have the whole team together before the Crowning, won’t it?”

“Almost the whole team.” he corrected absent-mindedly.

“Yes.” she lamented. “Almost.”

Almost was the worst word that ever was, he decided.

[thecaffeinebookwarrior]

Internal Conflict:  Five Conflicting Traits of a Likable Hero.

1.  Flaws and Virtues 

I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but characters without flaws are boring.  This does not, as many unfortunate souls take it to mean, imply that good, kind, or benevolent characters are boring:  it just means that without any weaknesses for you to poke at, they tend to be bland-faced wish fulfillment on the part of the author, with a tendency to just sit there without contributing much to the plot.

For any character to be successful, they need to have a proportionate amount of flaws and virtues.

Let’s take a look at Stranger Things, for example, which is practically a smorgasbord of flawed, lovable sweethearts.

We have Joyce Byers, who is strung out and unstable, yet tirelessly works to save her son, even when all conventional logic says he’s dead;  We have Officer Hopper, who is drunken and occasionally callous, yet ultimately is responsible for saving the boy’s life;  We have Jonathan, who is introspective and loving, but occasionally a bit of a creeper, and Nancy, who is outwardly shallow but proves herself to be a strong and determined character.  Even Steve, who would conventionally be the popular jerk who gets his comeuppance, isn’t beyond redemption.

And of course, we have my beloved Eleven, who’s possibly the closest thing Stranger Things has to a “quintessential” heroine.  She’s the show’s most powerful character, as well as one of the most courageous.  However, she is also the show’s largest source of conflict, as it was her powers that released the Demogorgon to begin with.  

Would Eleven be a better character if this had never happened?  Would Stranger Things be a better show?  No, because if this had never happened, Stranger Things wouldn’t even be a show.  Or if it was, it would just be about a bunch of cute kids sitting around and playing Dungeons and Dragons in a relatively peaceful town.

A character’s flaws and mistakes are intended to drive the plotline, and if they didn’t have them, there probably wouldn’t even be a plot.

So don’t be a mouth-breather:  give your good, kind characters some difficult qualities, and give your villains a few sympathetic ones.  Your work will thank you for it.

2.  Charisma and Vulnerability

Supernatural has its flaws, but likable leads are not one of them.  Fans will go to the grave defending their favorite character, consuming and producing more character-driven, fan-created content than most other TV shows’ followings put together.

So how do we inspire this kind of devotion with our own characters?  Well, for starters, let’s take a look at one of Supernatural’s most quintessentially well-liked characters:  Dean Winchester.

From the get-go, we see that Dean has charisma:  he’s confident, cocky, attractive, and skilled at what he does.  But these qualities could just as easily make him annoying and obnoxious if they weren’t counterbalanced with an equal dose of emotional vulnerability. 

As the show progresses, we see that Dean cares deeply about the people around him, particularly his younger brother, to the point of sacrificing himself so that he can live.  He goes through long periods of physical and psychological anguish for his benefit (though by all means, don’t feel obligated to send your main character to Hell for forty years), and the aftermath is depicted in painful detail.

Moreover, in spite of his outward bravado, we learn he doesn’t particularly like himself, doesn’t consider himself worthy of happiness or a fulfilling life, and of course, we have the Single Man Tear(TM).

So yeah, make your characters beautiful, cocky, sex gods.  Give them swagger.  Just, y’know.  Hurt them in equal measure.  Torture them.  Give them insecurities.  Make them cry.  

Just whatever you do, let them be openly bisexual.  Subtext is so last season.

3.  Goals For the Future and Regrets From the Past

Let’s take a look at Shadow Moon from American Gods.  (For now, I’ll have to be relegate myself to examples from the book, because I haven’t had the chance to watch the amazing looking TV show.) 

Right off the bat, we learn that Shadow has done three years in prison for a crime he may or may not have actually committed.  (We learn later that he actually did commit the crime, but that it was only in response to being wronged by the true perpetrators.)  

He’s still suffering the consequences of his actions when we meet him, and arguably, for the most of the book:  because he’s in prison, his wife has an affair (I still maintain that Laura could have resisted the temptation to be adulterous if she felt like it, but that’s not the issue here) and is killed while mid-coital with his best friend.

Shadow is haunted by this for the rest of the book, to the point at which it bothers him more than the supernatural happenings surrounding him.  

Even before that, the more we learn about Shadow’s past, the more we learn about the challenges he faced:  he was bullied as a child, considered to be “just a big, dumb guy” as an adult, and is still wrongfully pursued for crimes he was only circumstantially involved in.

But these difficulties make the reader empathize with Shadow, and care about what happens to him.  We root for Shadow as he tags along with the mysterious and alternatively peckish and charismatic Wednesday, and as he continuously pursues a means to permanently bring Laura back to life.

He has past traumas, present challenges, and at least one goal that propels him towards the future.  It also helps that he’s three-dimensional, well-written, and as of now, portrayed by an incredibly attractive actor.

Of course (SPOILER ALERT), Shadow never does succeed in fully resurrecting Laura, ultimately allowing her to rest instead, but that doesn’t make the resolution any less satisfying.  

Which leads to my next example...       

4.  Failure and Success 

You remember in Zootopia, when Judy Hopps decides she wants to be cop and her family and town immediately and unanimously endorse her efforts?  Or hey, do you remember Harry Potter’s idyllic childhood with his kindhearted, adoptive family?  Oh!  Or in the X-Files, when Agent Mulder presents overwhelming evidence of extraterrestrial life in the first episode and is immediately given a promotion?  No?

Yeah, me neither.  And there’s a reason for this:  ff your hero gets what they want the entire time, it will be a boring, two-dimensional fantasy that no one will want to read.  

A good story is not about the character getting what they want.  A good story is about the character’s efforts and their journey.  The destination they reach could be something far removed from what they originally thought they wanted, and could be no less (if not more so) satisfying because of it.

Let’s look at Toy Story 3, for example:  throughout the entire movie, Woody’s goal is to get his friends back to their longtime owner, Andy, so that they can accompany him to college.  He fails miserably.  None of his friends believe that Andy was trying to put them in the attic, insisting that his intent was to throw them away.  He is briefly separated from them as he is usurped by a cute little girl and his friends are left at a tyrannical daycare center, but with time and effort, they’re reunited, Woody is proven right, and things seem to be back on track.

Do his efforts pay off?  Yes -- just not in the way he expected them to.  At the end of the movie, a college-bound Andy gives the toys away to a new owner who will play with them more than he will, and they say goodbye.  Is the payoff bittersweet?  Undoubtedly.  It made me cry like a little bitch in front of my young siblings.  But it’s also undoubtedly satisfying.      

So let your characters struggle.  Let them fail.  And let them not always get what they want, so long as they get what they need.  

5.  Loving and Being Loved by Others

Take a look back at this list, and all the characters on it:  a gaggle of small town kids and flawed adults, demon-busting underwear models, an ex-con and his dead wife, and a bunch of sentient toys.  What do they have in common?  Aside from the fact that they’re all well-loved heroes of their own stories, not much.

But one common element they all share is they all have people they care about, and in turn, have people who care about them.  

This allows readers and viewers to empathize with them possibly more than any of the other qualities I’ve listed thus far, as none of it means anything without the simple demonstration of human connection.

Let’s take a look at everyone’s favorite caped crusader, for example:  Batman in the cartoons and the comics is an easy to love character, whereas in the most recent movies (excluding the splendid Lego Batman Movie), not so much. 

Why is this?  In all adaptions, he’s the same mentally unstable, traumatized genius in a bat suit.  In all adaptions, he demonstrates all the qualities I listed before this:  he has flaws and virtues, charisma and vulnerability, regrets from the past and goals for the future, and usually proportionate amounts of failure and success.  

What makes the animated and comic book version so much more attractive than his big screen counterpart is the fact that he does one thing right that all live action adaptions is that he has connections and emotional dependencies on other people.  

He’s unabashed in caring for Alfred, Batgirl, and all the Robins, and yes, he extends compassion and sympathy to the villains as well, helping Harley Quinn to ultimately escape a toxic and abusive relationship, consoling Baby Doll, and staying with a child psychic with godlike powers until she died.

Cartoon Batman is not afraid to care about others.  He has a support network of people who care about him, and that’s his greatest strength.  The DC CU’s ever darker, grittier, and more isolated borderline sociopath is failing because he lacks these things.  

 And it’s also one of the reasons that the Lego Batman Movie remains so awesome.

God willing, I will be publishing fresh writing tips every week, so be sure to follow my blog and stay tuned for future advice and observations! 

[myladyladybug]

Unreceived - Chapter 1

Rating: K+

Words: 1244

Summary: Chat Noir finally musters up the courage to confess his feelings to Ladybug... but decides to do it as Adrien. If she rejected Adrien, at least he wouldn’t have to sacrifice his relationship with her as Chat Noir. His plan was full proof! Wasn’t it?

AO3 FF hogeky buy me a coffee?

1 2 3 4 5 6

Author’s Note: This is a fic based off of a comic written and drawn by @hogeky​. Please go there to view images and support her comic!

Permission was received to write this fic.

This wasn’t the first time Adrien had written a letter to her, and it wasn’t likely going to be the last. Even still, he mentally scolded himself for his momentary lapse of will power. He’d lost track of the amount of times he told himself to stop.

“I can’t believe I wrote this again,” he groaned. Plagg looked up from his meal at the comment.

“Are you talking to me?” he asked hesitantly, only mildly concerned for Adrien’s mental well-being. Adrien shook his head and brought his elbows to sit on his desk, resting his chin in his right hand and picking up the letter with his left.

He looked tired. He felt tired. But it was the kind of tired he put himself through every time he sat down to think about confessing to the love of his life. Without responding to Plagg, he continued as if nobody had spoken.

“What if she doesn’t feel the same way? I want to tell her but, what if it ends our friendship? It’ll ruin everything.” Ladybug had been turning Chat Noir down for as long as he could remember. He couldn’t imagine any reason why this would suddenly change just because he wanted to give her a love letter.

Realization struck him. Ladybug would continue to reject Chat Noir as she always had and he had everything to lose if she began to distance herself as a result of his feelings.

But Adrien had nothing to lose.

She would at least be gentle in letting him down, if nothing else.

Making sure he had packed and held onto the newest variation of his love letter everyday had become something of an obsession for Adrien. No matter where he went, he held it with him, in case he ever had the chance to see his Lady love. The thought of potential failure plagued him very often. It was a way of bracing himself for the worst outcome, and he hoped to be pleasantly surprised instead of heartbroken.

What came as a surprise to him was that Ladybug had been swinging off to some unknown destination the very same day he decided he needed to go out for a walk to clear his head. He was staring at the ground with a strange sort of intent while he walked, trying very hard not to think about the letter that seemed to be burning a hole in his bag, and failing.

It was the flash of red that emerged from his peripherals that brought him back to reality. Flashes of red had been doing that a lot to him recently, but this particular flash or red was the one flash of red he had actually been looking for.

Adrenaline pumped furiously through Adrien. He could hear the blood roaring in his ears, nearly drowning out the intelligible thought that attempted to communicate with the rest of his body.

There she is.

I have to call her.

Call her.

Just say her name

Just do it.

With a deep breath, Adrien ripped off the preverbal band-aid.

“LADYBUG!”

He could make out the jerking motion of her body mid-swing. If it were physically possible, he could imagine her comically arresting in the air, only to turn around and return to him. Why he was distracting himself in such a way, he had no idea.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?” he continued, reaching a hand up to catch her attention.

Landing on the side of building, she pushed from it, swinging back down to meet him. She stood before him, eyes expected and waiting. Silence fell between them and both were reluctant to speak.

Adrien could feel every part of himself drop into his stomach.

“Sorry for wasting your time on something like this,” he began, turning to open the messenger bag he had around his shoulder, “but I already made up my mind.” He fumbled through his bag, nervous. Taking the letter in both hands, he all but thrusted it out toward her. “I want to give you this.” His eyes depressed a hole into the ground, too nervous too look into the blue of hers.

Ladybug’s eyes widened behind the mask and he could hear the breath she sucked in at the sight of the envelope. It took her a moment to think of anything to say. When she opened her mouth to speak, Adrien decided he could not handle her silence any longer.

“Please don’t think I’m a weird,” he continued, still refusing to look at her. I know nobody does these kinds of things anymore but, I hope you’ll accept and read this.”

The silence that followed was suffocating. Adrien could feel his lungs giving in from the anxiety. Shocked, Ladybug took the letter from his hand without a word. He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding.

With his best model smile, he grinned blindly at her with all his might, hiding any sense of insecurity he felt.

“Please read it properly.” Ladybug opened her mouth to speak, but he had no intention of being rejected before she had even read his feelings. Not wanting to stick around while she read it, he hastily walked past her.

“Adrien,” she began, but he had already walked by, the wind he created with his speed picking up the scent of her; of sugar and flowers. Blood filled his cheeks fiercely and he sped away as fast as his legs could carry him.

Marinette stared intently at the envelope in her hands, seeming to bore a hole through the paper trying to see through the writing. She could feel the tension in her face and it began to feel uncomfortable, but she couldn’t relieve herself from it. It wasn’t as if she couldn’t open it. It had been addressed to her. Or rather, it had been addressed to her alter ego.

No, it was not as if she could not open the letter, it was that she was too nervous and scared to open the envelope.

Adrien had given Ladybug a letter and she didn’t know what to do. It seemed obvious its contents, but she really hoped for anything else.  Anything but…

“Open it already,” Tikki said, flying out in front of Marinette’s unmoving eyes. She had watched for too long to let her continue to make up her mind.

“I’m really scared,” Marinette replied, her voice a whisper. “What if it really is what I think it is?” Tikki shrugged.

“You won’t know until you open it.” Marinette sighed deeply. Here goes nothing, she thought, and slipped her thumb beneath the envelope’s lip.

Her heart was racing as she unfolded the sheet.

I know this sounds really cheesy, but I really don’t have any other words to express my feelings for you. There is no need for any other words except for these:

I LOVE YOU.

I love you more than you can imagine, and I’m closer than you think.

A.A.

Author’s Note: I hope you’ve enjoyed the first chapter! I must admit that I’ve been rewording some of the text from the comic, but only very slightly to correct minor grammatical errors. 

[allienjoyz]

Sanji x Nami FF - Letting Go Chap. 3

Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece just my FF

Summary: This is a FF “Version” of the WCI-Theme set in an AU. The story differs a lot from the original

Warning: English is not my first language ;)

Link to CH 1: https://allienjoyz.tumblr.com/post/160626548893/sanji-x-nami-ff-letting-go-ch1

Next Chap:

Chapter 3:

The Location that they had send him was no unknown to Sanji: The Baratie. So they knew about his old man as well. “Man … I’m really in trouble” Sanji murmured while taking another deep breath from his cigarette. Luckily, if you could call it that way, the Baratie wasn’t too far away, any minute Nami wasn’t alone with those minutes was a minute Sanji was desperately trying to achieve. The streets were empty. In not even 2 minutes he would meet is brothers…. And Nami. An uneasy feeling spread in his stomach: Would they let her go or would they keep her just as his brother told him? At this thought Sanji squeezed his wheel. What should he tell Nami? ‘I’m sorry you got kidnapped. By the way I’m a Vinsmoke’ that wouldn’t be suffice. Also Sanji thought about how to act. If they wanted to blackmail him with Nami it’d be better to not show them the value she had for Sanji. It would defiantly would help to keep her safe – otherwise, maybe they already knew about it. What other reason should they have to take her? Sanji had to make out what he wanted to do: Hide his affection: maybe save Nami from any torture or worse, but risking their relationship or act normal and possibly endanger Nami more than he already did.

Nami regained consciousness when she heard the door slamming. After a few seconds of disorientation she remembered what happened. These two man had captured her and then… Right she felt the pain above her right eye. She rose her hands to her forehead and felt something clammy on her forehead. When she looked at her handcuffed hands she saw that the clammy something was dried blood. “Great so I’m bleeding” She looked around and noticed that she was alone in the car, lying on the rear bench seat.  She didn’t know how long she was unconscious and she didn’t know where she were. She couldn’t see through the window since they were toned black, but she heard voices and then the sound of a car approaching and the sound of squeaky wheels as it stopped. She wouldn’t just lie around doing nothing. She sat herself up and opened the door. First just a bit to see who was out there.  

When she saw the number plate of the car that has just arrived she felt relive filling up in her heart. She didn’t know how her friends find her but she was glad they did. They were a bunch of odd people, but they were also reliable. The door of the car opened. One door. And there stood Sanji. Alone. Nami still felt relive, but she also felt a bit unease spreading in her as she saw Sanjis face. There was nothing of his friendly side to be seen. His face was emotionless and his eyes empty. She had never saw him that way and it scared her. She didn’t move, didn’t know what to do. So she waited to see what was going to happen.

“Little Brother” the red haired man welcomed Sanji while spreading his arms. Nami took a sharp breath. “I’m here just like you wanted, so let her go.” There was absolutely no emotion in Sanjis voice. “You know. I think I decided to keep her.” Nami couldn’t the red haired man’s face, but she knew he was smiling. Nami could have sworn that she saw Sanjis lips tighten for a short moment, but she wasn’t sure since he wasn’t saying anything. Nami had enough. What the hell was going on with Sanji and why didn’t he do anything at all? She opened the door of the car and got out of it. “Sanji-kun” she tried to sound as happy as possible and she could see how his eyes widened, but there was no relief in them. She tried to run towards him, but the red haired man held her back by grapping her hair and pulling her right before him. Nami bit her teeth, but didn’t make any sound. “Tz tz tz, little girl. You’re staying, but don’t worry he’s…” he pointed with his chin towards Sanji “coming with you. He has received an offer he can’t decline: Vinsmoke Sanji is going to marry Charlotte Pudding.” Nami felt like the ground was taken away under her feet. That could not be true. Sanji a Vinsmoke? And he was going to marry?! Why haven’t he told his friends? Why haven’t he told her? Nami would have fallen to her knees if the man behind her didn’t grab her arm to hold her up. Instead of thinking about the pain the hard grip on her man caused, she was searching for Sanjis. She wanted him to look her in the eyes, to know if this was really happening. But all she could find was his empty gaze.

Sanji was dying inside. Namis desperate look, his shitty brother Ichiji holding her and his other shitty brother Yonji watching the whole scene with a bold smile. Everything inside of him screamed for running to Nami, kicking those bastards till they didn’t know who they were and get her out of this situation. But he knew that this wouldn’t solve the problem. He doubted that he could beat both of his brothers and protect Nami from getting harmed and even he could - they probably would blackmail him with his other friends or kill them off immediately as a punishment for him disobeying the orders. So he had to go with them and try to save Nami when there was a possibility. But even when he knew he was probably choosing the best option – it was breaking his heart.

“Well then get in the car.” Yonji said, while getting into the car on the driver’s seat. Ichiji pushed Nami in the back of the car and gestured Sanji to sit beside her before he went to the co-driver’s seat. Sanji waited till Nami was sitting properly and followed her while closing behind. Yonji hit the gas and speeded down the parking ground. Sanji tried to catch a sight of Nami with the corner of his eye. He couldn’t see her face, but he could see her playing with her fingers. With her fingers he saw the handcuffs still hanging on tender wrists as a reminder of his failure. He couldn’t help but to follow her arms up along with her torso, where he could see how heavily she was breathing – probably out of stress -, to see her face. He was surprised when he found himself staring into curious, sad and scared brown eyes that he loved so much. Again he felt like someone was kicking him right in his stomach. She was looking at him, rightfully demanding answers and searching for help. What should he do?

Finally Sanji turned his head towards her. She hoped for some answers and indeed, she could see a change in his eyes. They weren’t so emotionless anymore, but they still didn’t reflect any of his calmness and friendliness like they normally did. Normally his eyes would comfort her, even in scary or difficult situation.  She remembered how airily he seemed to be when she first met him. It was years ago, she just started visiting High School and her mother was still alive. She was visiting the Baratie with Ussop, Zoro and Luffy to celebrate Ussops birthday. Zoro and Luffy were fighting, just like they always did, when Sanji, working as a temp waiter, came to take they orders. Nami remembered how he went head over heels for her, just like he did with any other women, not caring that she was obviously making use of his affection to save some money and snap a free meal. At that time she thought of Sanji as a womanizer, a love sick dork as he treaded her friendly and courteous no matter how bad she treated him or how much she was exploiting his gentle man behavior. But that changed soon.  She later started to value the fact that he kept this manner towards her no matter what. When she went through sad times, like when her mother died, Sanji was there always offering her little attentions to cheer her up and with those attentions he always offered his comforting and happy smile which couldn’t even be blown away by her mood swings. He had always been there for her and Nami started to rely on him more than on any of her other friends. This fact made the situation even worse.

“Sanji-kun…” she almost whispered while reaching out with her still tied hands to touch his arm. Sanjis gaze got even sadder. She could see or more could she feel how he was fighting with himself. But why? She didn’t know what was up on his mind. Without saying a word he turned away his head directing his gaze towards the driving mirror. “Where are we going?” Sanji asked harshly. Nami followed Sanjis view to the mirror where she could see this disgusting bold smile appearing again on the red haired man’s face. Really what was so funny? “Home” was all he answered. Then he took off his sunglasses revealing a certain feature Nami knew too well: a curled eyebrow. She was now looking more closely to the other man and she could see the curled feature blinking out under his glasses as well. She had heard one of them calling Sanji brother, but she didn’t knew how it was meant. Now she knew, these two awful suckers were indeed Sanjis brothers. Brother he had never told his friends about and Nami could understand why he didn’t. “The old man his waiting for his favorite son” Now both of the man broke into laughter. Nami turned her head to see Sanji. His teeth were clenched together, a bit of sweat was appearing on his neck and…. Nami had to look twice to make sure she saw it correctly: Sanjis whole body was shaking.

[sunset-wishes-upon-hill]

Hwa Byung (Anger Disease) (Kuroshitsuji- Yuri Park)

Spin-off to The Liars and Soothsayer: FF

A/N: For those who have read the most recent chapter (chapter 4), there was a brief explanation to Yuri’s anger. Well, here’s the reason why.

Hwa Byung meaning

She liked to believe that although she wasn’t perfect, she had what people would say more good than bad in her. She wasn’t always kind or good, or bothered, or selfless, or nurturing but she was most of those for the most of the time. She tried not to intentionally hurt or hate someone or judge until she walked a league in their shoes and even then she was the type of person to give them as many and much chances they needed. She’s a good person. A kind person. A loving person.

Her most notable flow was her exploding temper. It wasn’t that she lost her temper so easily or it was easy to rile her up, no, her ugly side was generally reserved for her…dad. Yuri had difficulty saying the word ‘dad’. It wasn’t physical thing per se; it was more of psychological hold of what a ‘dad’ meant to her that prevented her from fully embracing the word. In front of others, she’d refer him as dad to prevent any unwanted probing from her friends. She was a good listener and a good advisor; heavy on the secret and detached from pre-conceived judgement, but she held tight to her own skeleton, pushing it further and further back to the cobwebbed closet where it’ll burst out once in a while in the presence of the trigger that was him.

They say a family was someone who’d stand by your side even when the whole world pointed fingers at you. They say the most important thing for the parents is one’s child. If a knife is coming towards the child, they carry them on their back to run. If a bullet is coming after them, the parents carry them in front to run. Yuri could apply that to her mum, but she doubted with her dad.

Saying the word ‘dad’ brought out an interesting response within her. Her tongue would get tied and twisted; she’d stutter; she’d hesitated and sometimes she’d flinch as though the word gnawed at her.

She don’t know how it feels to hate someone and she don’t know how she could describe those emotions with words what it feels like someone but she guessed how she felt toward her dad was what hating someone in a pure sense felt like; but the feeling, she found out, seemed to follow some sort of twisted version of five stages of grief. While looking through her old childhood memoirs, she discovered an old journal. It had The Hello Kitty Girls on the cover with lock pad protecting its content. Beside the diary, she found the key. Inside some pages where she had been practicing fancy cursive, her young self had written with messy, almost incoherent way: “He’ll realise.” And “Things will become better.” It clearly bothered her then about the way he did things.

Her dad racked up debt faster than a BARC driver at Silverstone, and he could never get his spending habits in check. Even if she was young, just as one can spot the indicators of stroke trouble, there were plenty of signs something was wrong. He’d split payments of his credit card bills in minimally possible amount each month, he’d use cash advances on one card to make payment on another, he’d always be on phone asking to borrow money from his friends and family, he’d always complain to her mum how he was always strapped for cash as his own way of asking her if she had any. He constantly worried about how he would scrape together enough money to pay his bills. He’d always complain yet as soon as he had his hands on whatever money he could get, he’d go on his habitual grocery shopping spree.

As soon as she was old enough, old enough to make bank account in her name, his attention shifted toward her. By that time, her and her brother’s saving has already been drained; her mum’s credit rating was rock bottom from putting everything under her name due to his ineligible for anything; they’ve been evicted several times before managing to settle in a much smaller house at the cheap area in outer London that was New Malden. She’d gotten a part time job as a waitress in a restaurant when she was sixteen and her driver’s license at seventeen. When she hit eighteen, she got credit cards and converted her bank account into student account with interest free overdraft to help out her mum. Even though she tried to hide her trails, he had somehow found out about her credit cards and interest overdraft. Now it was her turn.

At first, she helped him. When he asked to borrow, she didn’t ask any question, because she knew it was difficult time for him – for all of them – and she could see he was ‘trying his best’. Then she realised no matter how much money she or her brother or her mum lend him, nothing was being solved. The bills were constantly unpaid, the rent was unpaid, taxes unpaid, she didn’t know where all the money was going. She began lashing out at him, gone was her respect toward him as an adult or a father or a provider. She didn’t bother to hide her contempt and bitterness toward him, degrading him whenever she could. She shouted at him, hoping he’d come to his senses and ‘grow up’. She tried to have him come to open about the debt he has other than what was on the paper. She tried to help him, give him advises, begging him to listen to her or her mum for once in his life but he’d become more angrier than them, acting as if he were the victim of trying one’s best and inevitable failure. Saying how she didn’t know what was going on when she, whenever they call up any places, she had to speak to them on behalf of her parents who weren’t as fluent in English as she or her brother was. She resented how short cut her childhood has been. A twelve years old shouldn’t have known what bailiff were, shouldn’t know how tax worked or how monthly instalment worked. She’d have the rest of her adult life to live with that. But she’s been living with it for so long.

It hurt her. If she hated her dad, that hate hurt her back. And that pain dug through her skin right to the bottom of her heart. It wasn’t long until she realised he wouldn’t change. He’d never change. He couldn’t. She or her mum couldn’t raise him; he’s already grown and no one could change a man if he didn’t want to.

She avoided talking to him or interacting with him than necessary around others and even then she refused to call him ‘dad’. She blocked and deleted his number in her phone. If she saw him in the street, she’d play a stranger. It’d gotten to the point she ignored and refused to talk to him even within the house and if she did, it was usually when her temper came out. She had gotten quite good at cursing thanks to that. Oh, and her throwing skills definitely improved as well.

She was more wary with money now. She became more frugal with her expanses. Like walking because commuting in and out of London was expensive enough, the buses were luxury. Buying food was expensive so she’d pack sandwich and if she forgot to bring her food, then she opted to bear until she got home and lunch and dinner together. She tried to eat as little as possible in a day to prolong shopping for food a bit longer. She’s only been to shopping probably about ten times in her life, preferring to wear what was in her closet until it either ripped or wore out. All thanks to him she learnt valuable lessons in life.

She couldn’t wait until she went to university and graduate and get a job so she can get a small apartment for herself. She hopes he comes looking for her just so she can turn him away. Sometimes, she wished she could travel like those beautiful girls with their boyfriend but she didn’t have time for that. She studied until she passed out when her friends dated; worked night shifts when her other friends were out partying although she made exceptions for their birthdays; seldom went out for a movie and ordered the most affordable food in restaurant. If anyone asked if she regretted not doing what other girls her age were doing, she’d say no. You can’t miss what you never felt. Playing? Love? Clothes shopping? That was a luxury she couldn’t afford. What could have been spent on those, she could have helped her mum, who was always struggling to keep things afloat, to help repay the debt he left in his trails while he went and made more mess.

Sometimes she hated how her mum decided to stay with him instead of leaving him. Maybe she was just ‘comfortable’ in where they were. Maybe she wanted to but she stayed for their sake. Her and her brother already told her they felt nothing for the man who was their ‘father’; her decision’s to leave him won’t be a big deal for them – much more so now that they’ve grown up.

Hating her deadbeat dad was like hating a part of herself – it is the culmination of the most desperate form of loss and detachment that came from a broken relation with what should be a loving, nurturing and secure relationship. Hating her dad was longing for the condition of joy and happiness that you see in others and anger that she was robbed of it. It ate her away with all the self-doubt, self-blame, self-loathing and seeing in herself all the qualities she hated in him, and she hated him more for that – for breaking her. Now she felt nothing for him. Maybe this was what a real hate felt like. Nothing. Whether they live or die, became something or nothing, no absolute emotions about them. She was sure if he was hanging by the cliff about to fall; she’d look, then turn around and walk away, not looking back. Not even once.

She hoped she didn’t go down the cliché root of daddy issue path. She hoped she never have the misfortune of coming across a man like him. She hoped to never fall in love.

Her journal was etched with pain, denial and conflicting emotions she felt for him. It clearly bothered her then. Even though she don’t care now. It impacted her in such an angry and ugly way. But maybe, it also impacted her in a way that she’s yet to discover.

 “Even though I am not young, I have lived inside a prison I created. “I won’t marry a man like my dad.” I had many thoughts along that line. On his deathbed, my dad said something he never said before, ‘I’m sorry and I love you, my daughter’. My hate for him disappeared. I wished he had said those words earlier. Even parents need to put down their pride and apologise for their wrong doing so that children can break free from painful memories.” – A family friend, whose Yuri’s backstory is based on.