#long story short I wish I could sit and have a conversation with John because this is my fucking jam

[brodependent]

Sam loves Dean as much as Dean loves Sam: a meta

Much as I love reading good meta, I don’t often write meta. Thus please accept my apologies if this is mediocre, and let me start with a simple topic sentence:

Sam loves Dean as much as Dean loves Sam.

A little longer, now: Sam is even better at loving Dean than Dean is at loving Sam because of Dean’s profound and abiding love for Sam.

Confusing, right? But not really.

We all know how Dean lives and breathes SammySammySammywatchoutforSammy. It’s his defining mission, his ultimate purpose, or, as a therapist might say, his “core belief.” But sometimes I think that we allow adult!Dean too little autonomy. We assume that he can’t help himself: he’s locked into this single-minded focus, on loving and protecting the only family he has left.

That sells Dean short. (Hang in there, I promise I’ll get to Sam in a moment.)

Even people who have been forced into a certain way of life have choices. Even people who have been told who they are all their life have choices. Dean tells us, in Season 14, I’m good with who I am--and I, for one, believe him. Whether we follow canon all the way to 15x17, when Dean is finally brought back from the edge of his desire for revenge against Chuck by his love for Sam (the only thing that’s “real”), or whether we keep to season 1 when Dean said--that’s all we have...that’s all I have... and I want us to be a family again and as long as I’m around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you--Dean has always accepted his role as Sam’s big brother. Dean’s life is unabashedly Sam-centric. He’d change a lot of things, but in the end he’d change nothing, because he wouldn’t change that. 

Some fans get very het up about the codependent aspect of this. Others (in my opinion, rightly) defend it. There’s scads of meta on why the Winchester dynamic IS necessary for their mythic role in the narrative, and their human role in the narrative (more importantly), so I won’t write that meta now. All I’m saying is what I think you already know: Dean lives for Sam, his baby brother, and despite the grief, the growing pains, the occasional cruelty of desperate love, Dean said it all when he told Sam (and us), Don’t you ever think that there is anything, past or present that I would put in front of you.

So where does that leave Sam, and his love for Dean? Let’s start with that line I just quoted. Building on the above, Dean’s goal in life is to give Sam a life. He wants Sam to be happy. He wants him to be free. He also wants to keep him by his side forever, to control him for safety and comfort’s sake, and sometimes those instincts of a frightened-child-turned-traumatized-man win out. Dean isn’t perfect. Dean’s full of contradictions. But time and again he goes back to stone number one: what he can do for Sam. What he can offer Sam, by being the grunt, by standing in harm’s way. 

When we begin the story, Sam has succeeded in the path Dean helped carve for him. I’m not taking all the credit from Sam here, and giving it Dean: merely pointing out that Dean stepped into traditional parental roles and helped send Sam into adulthood, even though that meant Sam leaving him. We know that the night Sam left for Stanford was one of the worst of Dean’s life, but even in mid-season 1, Dean tells Sam he’s proud of him. You always know what you want. You stand up to Dad. Hell, sometimes I wish I--

(this, of course, is beautifully echoed in the series finale itself)

Dean is telling Sam what so many parents tell their children: you have gone places I never could, accomplished goals I never could, grown in grace and understanding like I never could. At least, I like to think that’s what the best parents tell their children.

To Dean, Sam is always the one with more hope. More wholeness. More options. To Sam, Dean is stone number one. 

You asked how Sam loves Dean, and my answer is: just look. Look at how Sam goes out into the world young, stands up to their father, makes his own decisions, fights back against Dean’s own nihilistic narrative through their primary losses and setbacks. Dean gave Sam the safety to build a better worldview than Dean himself has, and Sam turns that right back around and tries to give it to Dean. 

What do you think my job is? You’re my big brother--there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. 

I can’t lose you.

You’re not a grunt, Dean, you’re a genius.

This is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother.

I am going to save my brother. And then I’m going to kill you dead.

If you ever need to talk about anything with anybody, you got somebody right here next to you.

I believe in us.

This is just a small collection of Sam quotes showing his love for Dean. A small collection showing the persistent theme of Sam’s persistence. He knows that pushing chick-flick moments and emotional conversations can get jokes for a dime a dozen, and even the occasional punch thrown his way. He keeps at it anyway. When Sam knows Dean’s hurting, he wants to help. He’d do anything to help. He won’t sit around and see his brother turn into an embittered killer (season 2), go to hell for saving his life (season 3), take on the Trials (season 8), be irrevocably corrupted by the Mark of Cain (seasons 9-10), let him despair (seasons 11 and 13), let him sacrifice himself to an archangel’s grave (season 14), or let him lose his goodness to the whims of a vicious god (season 15). Sam fights for Dean with full use of his considerable gifts--intelligence, rationality, resourcefulness, and yes, the occasional blind rage. Sam looks to Dean, first as a leader, then as a judge, and finally as an equal. Sam has been looking up to Dean since he was four, yes, but over the course of the show he comes to look at Dean. With love, peace, understanding, humor, pain...whatever their inimitable connection requires.

The quotes I noted above also reveal Sam’s own conflicts rear up. Sam and Dean (again, in my opinion) are equally developed characters. Both have flaws and inconsistencies. Both have struggles inherent to their personalities and upbringings, distinct from those imposed on them by supernatural forces. 

Sam had a glimpse of a different life, once. He had the smarts, he had the drive, he had the sheer stubbornness to live a different life than John or Azazel or hell, even Lucifer had planned for him. But also in Sam--innate in Sam--is his core of goodness and compassion and the principle of doing right, which leads him back into the life and to soul-crushing sacrifice again and again.

Sam breaks and is broken. Sam suffers and ages and spends more time in hell than even Dean, who went to protect him.

But what keeps Sam going? Dean. Dean can’t live without Sam. We know that. The flip side is that Sam doesn’t want to live without Dean. Importantly, I think, he has more choice in the matter. Dean focused his whole childhood identity on giving Sam a life that meant he had choices, even if Dean didn’t know he was doing that. Sam can move through more crowds, more roles, more relationships. He has a better education, he has a more powerful ability to intellectually reason and detach. He would have made a great lawyer. Yet he casts all this aside out of sheer willpower, choosing instead to love Dean and live with Dean through the chaos of their lives, and to go near mad when Dean is gone. Consider Sam in season 4, Sam in season 10...Sam in season 8 trying to atone for the very choice that Dean (the best part of Dean) wanted him to make, even if the real muddle of Dean’s psyche couldn’t forgive him, for a time, for making it.

All of this leads us to the finale. 

You said you wish Sam had said I love you back to Dean in the finale. I argue that he did. He made his love perfectly clear to Dean in that moment by holding his hand, by looking in his eyes. He said, you can go now, when all he wanted was for Dean to stay. 

The best part of Dean wanted Sam to have happiness and freedom. At the end of his life, Dean was finally able to communicate that without fear or reservation. 

But the bittersweet brilliance of that moment is that Sam--the Stanford boy who went to hell and back, who saved the world, brought down one god and raised another--no longer wanted any kind of happiness or freedom that didn’t include the one person who’d been by his side all along. Dean was giving his blessing for a path that didn’t beckon Sam anymore. And yet: Sam said yes to it out of the love for Dean. Sam went out of that barn, out of the bunker, out of that day and that year and that decade and into the next and the next, out of love for Dean. Sam loved Dean by living. He loved Dean by raising another Winchester. He loved Dean by holding all their contradictions, flaws, and heroisms in his heart (in their car), until he’d done what he set out to do many times over. 

Then he met Dean on a mended bridge, dressed in old clothes that said: I was happiest at the beginning. I was happiest when we could be brothers again. I took my time getting here anyway, because I know that was what you wanted. I took my time so that we could be happiest now.

If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph! Hope you’re well :) Do you have a 5+1 rec list? It’s one of my all time favourite tropes and having just found a new one I wondered if you knew of any more? Sorry if you already have one linked somewhere, I’m still not very familiar with tumblr! (The new one I found is works/23857900/chapters/57342538 - sorry I’m not sure how to link properly on asks yet either! 😖

anonymous asked: What’s ur opinion on 5+1 fics?

Hi Lovelies!

Ahhh, sorry for the delay on this one!! I love 5 and Ones!! :D I’ve been tagging them since the beginning 3 years ago so I could more easily find them, just WAITING for people to ask, LOL. I read them a lot on FFNet (it was a BIG fad in the early noughts to have 5+1 fics, just like song fics were a 90′s thing lol)

So here y’all are, plus the one @johnlockedin221b suggested which I haven’t read yet! Please feel free to add your own here! 

I’ve also added some *CLOSE TO* five and ones, so like four and ones, I have a 7 times fic, and just one with 5 times. Hope y’all enjoy!

----

FIVE AND ONES (and SIMILAR FICS)

Once Upon A Time by ProfessorSquirrell (T, 908 w., 1 Ch. || Family, Snippets of Life, Romance, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Implied Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending) – There is a room in Sherlock's mind palace where nothing gets deleted. And it looks like this...

The Four Incidents by TheGirlWithRedHair22 (K+, 1,064 w., 1 Ch. || S1 Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, John Whump, Accident, John POV, Hand Holding, Worried Sherlock, Sherlock’s Self Esteem) – The first time John was present when someone insulted Sherlock, he brushed it off as a strange coincidence.

Five Times John Watson Remained Oblivious by thriceandonce (K+, 1,154 w., 1 Ch. || Five and Ones, Romance, Friendship, Asexual Sherlock, Queerplatonic Relationship) – ...And one time he didn't.

Five Times John Didn't Notice Sherlock (and one time he did) by somanyhands (T, 1,369 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship, Five and Ones, 221B Format Oneshots) – Five times out oblivious John Watson didn't notice Sherlock, and one time he really did. A short series of (five plus one) 221B fics, just because.

The 3x John Carried Sherlock, and Once ViceVersa by ShinkonoKokoro (K+, 1,673 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Friendship, Three and One, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Worried Sherlock, John Gets Shot) – It happens more than he suspects.

The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

Like Euphoria and Scotch by FinAmour (M, 1,856 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3 Fix It, Five and One, Alchohol / Drinking, POV Second Person Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock’s Imagination, Armchair Sex, Cracky and Fluff, Happy Ending) – 5 different ways it all could have gone + the one way it actually works itself out.

Five Times Sherlock gave John a Pebble and One Time John Returned the Gesture by grimmfairy (NR, 1,895 w., 1 Ch. || Love Confessions, Fluff, Penguins and Pebbles, Nervous / Pining Sherlock, Oblivious John) – Sherlock isn't good with words, so he decides to tell John his feelings the way penguins do, by bringing him pebbles with different meanings. John catches on.

The Perfect Place by SilverSmile (K+, 1,955 w., 1 Ch. || Humour, Romance, 5 and Ones, Fluff, Experiments, Bed Sharing) – Sherlock attempts to find the perfect place to sleep, but his little experiment proves to be far more difficult than expected.

Five Times Sherlock Realized He Was Getting Older by Mildred Graves (T, 9,215 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Old) – . . . And one time it didn't matter.

It Was All Right There In Front of Him (A Five Times Plus One Story) by bees_stories (T, 3,191 w., 1 Ch. || 5+1, Protective Idiots, Grooming, Bed Sharing, Lestrade POV) – DI Greg Lestrade is a good detective. But sometimes he doesn't trust the evidence in front of him, until there's a compelling reason to do so.

Wish I Was In Heaven Sitting Down by standbygo (M, 3,282 w. || Post-S4, Five Plus One, Missing Scenes, Parenthood, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, Declarations of Love, Fluff, Food, John Whump) – Five times when Sherlock and John ate together, and one time they didn't. A history of the boys, in food.

Atrium by kali_asleep (T, 3,460 w., 1 Ch. || 5+1, Valentines Day, Fluff & Schmoop, First Kiss) – Five times Sherlock gave John his heart, and the one time Sherlock got a heart in return (literally)

Because Your Coat is Part of You by camellialice (K, 3,705 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and 1, Canon Compliant, Sherlock’s Coat, Angst, Fluff) – Five times John wore Sherlock's coat and one time he didn't need to.

Five Times John Cooked Something with Peas and One First Kiss by 221b_careful_what_you_wish_for (T, 3,915 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Cooking / Food, Sick Sherlock, Music, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss) – After John cooks five dinners that slowly reveal their hunger for each other, Sherlock and John finally share a first kiss.

Human Body Pillow by Lunavere (K, 4,122 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Sleepy Johnlock, Bed Sharing) – A story about the five times John fell asleep on Sherlock, and the one time Sherlock fell asleep on him.

What John Doesn't Know (Won't Hurt Him) by blueink3 (NR [T], 4,392 w., 1 Ch, || S3 Fix It, Pining Sherlock, Snippets of Life, Hurt/Comfort, Scars, Fluff and Angst, Five and One, Hopeful Ending, POV Sherlock) – Five people who see Sherlock's scars before John Watson. But Sherlock's secrets were never something he could keep from his blogger for long.

Carry On by Mazarin221b (M, 4,647 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, H/C, Afghanistan, Frottage, Hand Jobs, First Time) – Five times John didn't want to be carried, and one time he did.

Bed-Sharing Between Flatmates by testosterone_tea (T, 5,053 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Bed Sharing, PTSD John, Science, Whump, Insecure Sherlock) – 5 times Sherlock had an excuse to share John's bed, and the one time he didn't need one.

Storytelling by amythedork (T, 5,126 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Past, Friendship, Humour) – Five times John Watson opens up to Sherlock Holmes, and one time Sherlock Holmes opens up to John Watson. Gen, though could easily be read as pre-slash.

Sociopathy and Other Fibs by kinklock (M, 5,314 w., 1 Ch. || 5+1, Miscommunication, Humour, Friends to Lovers, Post S3, Love Confessions) – Five times John called Sherlock out, and one time Sherlock returned the favour.

five times sherlock holmes lied to john watson (and one time he finally told the truth) by miss_frankenstein (G, 5,948 w., 1 Ch. || TAB Compliant || Homophobia, Pining Sherlock, Oscar Wilde Trials, Happy Ending) – Set in "The Abominable Bride" universe, this piece adopts a familiar format to chronicle Sherlock's quiet suffering in the wake of the 1895 Oscar Wilde trials and the particular way they affect his relationship with (and feelings for) John.

Five Times John Noticed But Didn't Really by ScandalousMinds (T, 6,383 w., 5 Ch. || Domestics, Fluff/Angst, Bratty Sherlock, Idiots, Pre-Slash, Jealous Sherlock, Love Confessions) – 5 times John (thought) he noticed something peculiar about his and Sherlock's relationship but really missed the obvious.

once upon a time by darcylindbergh (M, 6,501 w., 6 Ch. || Fluff and Angst, First Kiss / Time, Love Declarations, Christmas) – It starts with a wish. In the beginning, John comes home. Part 1 of things fairy tales are made of

Five Times by AliuIce0814 (T, 6,667 w., 6 Ch. || Drama, Canon-Compliant S1 & 2, Angst, 5 and Ones, Reunion) – ... Sherlock woke John, and one time John woke Sherlock.

Six Dates by avawtsn (E, 7,421 w., 2 Ch. || 5+1, First Time / Kiss, Post S4-Compliant, POV John) – A rather accidental 5+1 written for the prompt "is this a date?" Hint: it is.

Galapogos by anchors (E, 8,460 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Angst, 5 and 1, John Whump) – Somewhere in the depths of the universe, and somewhere in the middle of Sherlock's chest, a star goes into supernova.

All the Times Something ALMOST Happened by allonsys_girl (T, 9,049 w., 6 Ch. || POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Canon Compliant, Angst, Friendship/Love, UST) – John and Sherlock dancing around what they dance around in canon.

Illogical, even. by magikspell (E, 9,119 w., 1 Ch. || Grey-Ace Sherlock, Character Study, Growing Up, Victor Trevor, Romance, First Time/Kiss, Sherlock-centric) – Five reasons Sherlock never believed in love and one reason he does now.

A Different Kind of Love by Svenja The Strange (T, 12,357 w., 6 Ch. || Fluff, Humour, Romance, Five and One) –  The five times people noticed and the one time John did. A collection of oneshots (some short, some longer) raising the issue of Johns endless dilemma of being deemed for Sherlock’s boyfriend.

A Study in Linguistics by rizandace (T, 12,425 w., 1 Ch. || S1 Canon Compliant/S2 Divergence, Friendship, Slices of Life, Communication, Cranky Sherlock, Hospitals, Sherlock Whump, Pet Cat, Jealous John, Sherlock’s Violin, Anxious Sherlock, John Whump) – Sherlock Holmes and John Watson had their own language. It was a language of few words and minute facial expressions, and John had learned that it was nearly the only way to have an honest conversation with his eccentric flat mate.

First Response by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 13,516 w., 8 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Whump / Injury) – Five times John had to perform first aid on Sherlock and one time Sherlock had to perform it on John.

Never-Ending Cycle by orphan_account (T, 17,211 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Est. Rel., Proposal, Fluff) – Or, four times Sherlock Holmes attempted to propose to John Watson, and the Christmas Party at which he finally did. Sherlock thinks he's a miserable failure, John is confused, Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade provide some unsatisfactory advice, and Mummy is, as always, the solution. All in a lovely, fluffy holiday theme.

Just a Kiss by emmagrant01 (E, 19,695 w., 7 Ch. || 5+1, Case Fic) – Five times John and Sherlock kissed because of a case and one time they kissed for real.

EMERGENCY CONTACT: Sherlock Holmes, RELATIONSHIP: n/a by blueink3 (M, 5,533 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt John / John Whump, Five and One, Fluff & Angst, Worried Sherlock) – The first time John Watson’s emergency contact is called is the first time Sherlock Holmes finds out that he has the job. Part 1 of The Emergency Contact Series

EMERGENCY CONTACT: John Watson, RELATIONSHIP: Saint by blueink3 (M, 6,229 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt Sherlock, 5+1, Hurt / Comfort, Caring John, Scars) – The first time Sherlock Holmes realizes he needs an emergency contact is the first time he mentally appoints John Watson with the job. John, of course, does not know this and neither does the local hospital. Part 2 of The Emergency Contact Series

Caught In The Act by ShirleyCarlton (E, 7,009 w. across 6 stories || Est. Rel, Voyeurism, Character POV’s, Masturbation, Switchlock) – This is a series of six scenarios written from the points of view of six different people as they accidentally walk in on Sherlock and John having sex.

Five Times Sherlock Realized He Was Getting Older by Mildred Graves (T, 9,215 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Old) – . . . And one time it didn't matter.

The Five Stages of Mourning, Plus One by SunnyRea (T, 10,557 w., 1 Ch. || MCD, Pining / Grieving Sherlock, URT, Heavy Angst, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Drug Use, Graphic Death, Depression, Unhappy Ending) – Sherlock did not want this, did not want another stalemate with John in the middle, a gun in Jim's hand. This cannot have happened without a sign. There has to be something he missed anything which said today is the day I kill for real.

About Sleep and Coffee and the Existence of Fate by Atiki (E, 17,426 w., 6 Ch. || Fluff, Marriage Proposal, Humour, 5+1) – Naturally, John was startled when suddenly the ultimate solution occurred to him: Marriage. This was, of course, a bit of a fundamental problem rather than an actual solution. One didn't simply use the words “Sherlock” and “marriage” within the same sentence. Not even in a hypothetical context. Five times John kind of wanted to propose to Sherlock, and one time he didn’t have to.

Just a Kiss by emmagrant01 (E, 19,695 w., 7 Ch. || 5+1, Case Fic, Kisses) – Five times John and Sherlock kissed because of a case and one time they kissed for real.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w., 6 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarrassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He's charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

Five Times: Watching and Waiting by Ira Lea (K+, 23,034 w., 13 Ch. || Friendship, Post-TRF, No Slash) – Five times Sherlock didn't know John was watching, and one time he made sure of it. Five times John didn't know Sherlock was watching, and one time he figured it out. Three years of "he's dead", one moment of "he's alive", and the resulting chase through the streets of London. (Two 5:1s in quick succession and a bonus).

And A Doctor by StillWaters1 (T, 27,393 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship, Doctor John, Whump, Soldier / Doctor Dichotomy, Five and One) – It was only when people actually saw John working as a physician that they began to understand: that it wasn't just about bullets and IEDs and trauma care under fire. That "doctor" actually covered a pretty wide field. And that John was bloody good at covering ground. 5 times Dr. Watson treated others and 1 time he treated himself.

Five Times They Kissed for a Case, and One Time They Kissed for Real by fleetwood_mouse (M, 32,406 w., 6 Ch. || 5+1, Slow Burn, Fluff / Angst, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers) – A stolen ring! An artful blogger! And many more adventures for your enjoyment.

The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, 44,025 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Post-TRF, Case Fic, UST, Homophobia, Friends to Lovers, Pining John, Showering Together, Couple for a Case, Sherlock’s Bum, Fantasies, Jealous Sherlock) – Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants in the course of a case.

MARKED FOR LATER

Five Times Sherlock and John Had Realistic Sex and One Time They Didn't by pennydreadful (E, 1,811 w., 1 Ch. || Five and One, Anal/Oral, Finger Fucking, Hand Jobs) – Reality is a bitch.

A Study in Night Terrors by Dovahlock221 (T, 2,811 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Night Terrors, (Emotional) Hurt/Comfort, PTSD Sherlock, Worried John, Hurt John, Angst with Happy Ending) – Five times Sherlock suffered from night terrors and the one time he had the best dream of his life.

What Every Step Is For by Anyawen (G, 2,921 w., 1 Ch. || Five and One, Bedsharing, Injury, Illness, Cold, Lack of Beds, Fake Relationship, Fluff) – Five times bedsharing occurred due to circumstance, and one time it happened by invitation.

5 Times John Almost Told Sherlock He Loved Him, and 1 Time He Did by wanderlustmind (T, 3,006 w., 1 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Additional Tags to be added) – As adorable as a box of puppies, I promise.

The Fundamental Things Apply by Raina_at (M, 6,263 w., 1 Ch. || Five and One, Kissing) – "Kisses that are easily obtained are easily forgotten." - Proverb

Five Times Sherlock Fell Asleep in John's Arms by Accident and the One Time He Did It – Accidentally – on Purpose by WillowGrove (T, 7,201 w., 6 Ch, || Five and One, Falling Asleep, Cuddling & Snuggling, Texting, Tea, First Kiss, Dreams, Fever, Comfort, Caretaker John, Love, Humour, Fluff) – Sherlock notices that John keeps cuddling him to sleep and he rather likes it. But then John stops, and Sherlock has to result to schemes to make it happen again. Who falls asleep, who wakes up in who’s arms, and – most importantly – will there be a kiss in the end?

Dinner Conversations, a 5+1 by BakerTumblings (G, 7,559 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Blended Families, Parentlock, Dinner Conversations, Established Relationship, Family Adventures, Five and Ones) – Five times that John had something to say at or about dinnertime, and one time where John was requested to listen. Part 8 of Eyes Wide Open

The Refractive Index by NoStraightLine (E, 10,395 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, BAMF John, Crossdressing, Sherlock is Shot, Oral Fixation, First Time, Hurt/Comfort) – Five times John and Sherlock fuck in a bolt-hole, and one time they don't.

Five Christmases that went wrong and one that didn't by love_in_mind_palace (M, 11,685 w., 6 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff & Smut, Domestics, Est. Rel., 5 and 1′s, Canon Divergence, Tooth-Rotting Fluff) – John isn’t sure about most of the things in his life. Except for the fact that he loves Sherlock, Sherlock loves him back and that after years of bad luck, he is getting the Christmas he always deserved.

In Plain Sight by SilentAuror (E, 18,100 w., 1 Ch. || Post-HLV, 5 and Ones, POV Sherlock, Sex on Trains, Sex During Investigations, Sex in Offices, Unspoken Feelings, Anal, Slight Medical Kink, Public Sex Kink) – Five times that Sherlock and John have sex of some kind without talking about it and one time when they do. Part 1 of the Public Sex Kink

Just Dance by 7PercentSolution (M, 22,784 w., 6 Ch. || Four and One, For a Case, Drug Use, Abusive Boss, Ballroom Dancing, Sherlock Loves Dancing, Blackmail, Unrequited Love, Courtship) – Four dances that Sherlock taught Janine — and one he didn’t. Never mind if it leads him into dangerous territory; how could Sherlock resist a case from Lady Smallwood that lets him use his dancing skills? This is a gift work to Silvergirl, who is an inspiration to us all.

5 times Sherlock got (a) dressed like a woman, plus 1 he did not by Nauss (M, 25,719 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship and Romance, 5 and Ones, French Language Fic) – Ton regard est baissé et ton attitude ne brille pas de son habituel éclat Je-sais-que-tu-considères-que-je-n'aurais-pas-dû-mais-la-science-John. À la place, il y a tous ces petits détails que je ne parviens pas à voir, alors je m'approche de ta silhouette enrobedechambrée. Puis je lève la main, bouche bée. - John rentre en avance du travail et tombe sur un imprévu sherlockien.

Exit- An Ex Files Special by 7PercentSolution (G, 27,148 w., 6 Ch. || Sherlock/Victor Trevor, Angst Like Whoa, TRF-Compliant, Multiple POV’s, Unrequited Love, Whump, TBI and Recovery, Heartbreak, Romance, PTSD, Grieving, Five and One) – The end (or not, as the case may be), covering The Fall and its aftermath. Can be considered both a conclusion to my Fallen Angel series and a coda to Extricate and The Ex. A five plus one.

under the burden of solitude by subtext-is-my-division (E, 27,947 w., 5 Ch. || S3/S4 Fix It/Post TLD, Angst, Grief/Mourning, First Kiss, Mentions of Rape, Hurt/Comfort, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Fantasies, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Suicidal Thoughts Mentions, Five and Ones) – Five times they shared a bed platonically, and one time they didn't.

Caesura by emilycare (M, 36,608 w., 10 Ch. || Five and One, Mutual Pining, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Friends to Lovers, Past Abuse, Past Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Oral Sex, Blow Jobs, Domestic Fluff, Soft Sherlock, Gay Sherlock, Bisexual John) – The violin is a retreat that eases the quiet of Sherlock Holmes' solitude. It also speaks for him when he cannot bridge the gaps his defenses create. Moments when music helps Sherlock reach out or let others in, like his stalwart flatmate and, in time, the doctor's daughter. Five times Sherlock Holmes played the violin, and one time he did not.

Magpies Series by 7PercentSolution (T, 218,813+ w. across 4 works || Series WIP || Post TRF, Drug Withdrawal, References to Torture, Confessions, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Sick Fic, PTSD, Oblivious John) – The Magpies series covers the events of the broadcast series three and four, "translated" into my universe. I wrote a lot of it before the episodes were broadcast and made some of my themes into AU (such as the Holmes parents and the sibling). Darker, more intense and angsty than Game Theory and Fallen Angel, the Magpies stories show the effects of the hiatus on all concerned. When parts five to 8 are completed, the series will bring the Ford saga to a conclusion.

[scottfuckingreed]

It’s a Pogue Thing - Part Two

This is a JJ Maybank story :)

Requested

-

Warnings!: swearing and it gets sexual (SMUT)

-

“That’s disgusting,” Ki grunts as we watch JJ spit into an impressively far distance. Today we sailed to a small piece of island in the middle of the ocean. Between the blue sky, and the slightly green water it’s quite beautiful. Not a cloud in sight either, which is a somewhat odd thing for the Outer Banks. Some would call it peaceful, except we seem to hang around with complete animals. The JJ smirk spreads across his face. “You know you love it,” he winks. With a laugh, I sigh. “That’s even worse.”

You’d think it was awkward. I mean, how can you go from being friends, to sleeping together, back to normal again? I don’t know. Over the past week it’s been indifferent. Sure, it was a bit weird the first day. Maybe even the second. I’m still in shock that it happened. Once we cleaned up my house after the party, the ice was pretty much broken. We know where we stand with each other.

“Are you seeing Sarah today?” I ask John B. I notice Kiara roll her eyes so I flash her an ‘I’m sorry for bringing it up’ look. He clears his throat. “No... why would I be seeing Sarah today?” His tone comes off slightly defensive. I imagine it’s because Ki’s here, and he once had a thing for her? Maybe he still does. “I don’t know. Was she any help at the party?” We haven’t spoken much about the party; any of us. I, for one, am a bit relieved. “A little, but Topper started following us around,” of course. I’m not sure if she has him on a leash, or the other way around. “Still a good party though,” he nudged. If he thinks that’ll get me to throw another one, he can think again. “Thank JJ, I didn’t even wanna be there,” I laugh jokingly. “You can definitely thank me, you seemed like you had a good time in the end,” his words send shivers down my spine. I’m thankful for the concealer on my face as I feel my cheeks redden at his husky voice. “I don’t know, maybe it was the alcohol,” my head turns to his. “Maybe.”

We sail straight back to John B’s house. “You guy’s can crash here if you’d like,” he shrugs. With his dad gone, it’s a pretty empty house. I know we all fantasise about a parent-free life sometimes, but I can’t actually imagine the feeling of someone never coming home. “I’ve actually gotta go. My mum’s cooking dinner tonight... you guys hungry?” I ask. John B sends a warm smile my way. “Thanks, but I got left over pizza inside.” “Nice,” I laugh. I shift my eyes over to Kiara. “I think I’ll stay and help John B tidy up a bit.” If you visualise a teenage boy’s room, his entire house looks like that 24/7. Beer bottles, left over takeaway boxes, smelly ass clothing thrown around. “Suit yourselves.” I lock eyes with Pope, and I already know the answer. “You know my dad’ll kill me if I don’t get my ass home and check in.” A smile spreads across JJ’s face. “I’m not stupid enough to turn down mama Y/L/N’s cooking,” he chuckles.

As soon as we walk through my front door, my mum is all over JJ. She loves him. Usually the parents despise the boys like him. He’s the bad boy! But no. She still sees him as this cute, cheeky boy. “Mama Y/L/N! Long time no see,” JJ exclaims with a cute smile on his face, bringing my mum in for a hug. She squeezes him back in a tight embrace. “It’s been too long, how are you?!”

The conversation flows smoothly throughout dinner. It’s actually nice, not that I’d ever tell my mum that. She needs to think I’m embarrassed, when in reality I love that it’s so chill. “Did you guys enjoy the party the other night?” My mum asks as if it hasn’t been playing on her mind throughout the entirety of dinner. She’s asked me, but I won’t tell her anything. So, of course she asks JJ; he will answer. “Oh it was great! Y/N and I had a great time!” He smiles greatly. In a quick moment that my mum isn’t looking his way, he winks subtly at me. “Really? She hasn’t said much about it.” This is one of those moments where you wish you could send a telepathic message to someone. It would scream ‘stop before it’s too late’! “It’s probably because Rafe turned up.” There it is. I immediately just want to shrivel up and crawl away. My mum’s eyes widen. “Shit, I hate that guy.” JJ sends an agreeing nod. At least we’re all on the same page here. Like with other things, I’ve kept Rafe as much to myself as I possibly can from my mum. She knows he was nasty, but not in much detail. She knows he hurt me, but not in any specific way. In a very vague way, she knows everything she needs to. Just to hate him. “He’s a dick.” “This is why I like you JJ,” my mum pauses. Her face as she processes her possible next words. I raise my eyes brows in a warning manner.

After dinner, JJ offered to help my mum clean up. You may think it’s cute, but I know this boy’s games. He can’t fool me. “Are you staying to watch a movie JJ?” She asks, passing the boy a plate to dry. Before he can answer, I interrupt. “Can you give us a second actually, please?” I smile innocently towards her. Her eyes widen and she wiggles her eyebrows at me. “Sure.”

“What are you playing at?” I giggle. Recently, although I hate to admit it, JJ’s company has honestly been what I’m craving. Somehow a he’s so predictable, yet he surprises me every time. “I’m not doing anything Y/N, you’re reading into things.” He dries his last plate and puts the pile into a cupboard. Of course he knows exactly where they go. “You’re not staying for the movie,” I warn him. Even with my mum there, I don’t trust him. I don’t even trust myself. “What are you watching?” He asks. “I don’t know. I think my mum was on about watching ‘Now You See Me’ or something.” His face lights up. “Come on Y/N! I love that one.” I shake my head. I don’t want to want him here. “Please,” he sticks his bottom lip out. Because of my lack of reaction, he brings his head closer. He was so close that I could feel his breath on my face. A feeling that took me straight back to the party. A moment that I am trying so hard to not think about.

Unfortunately JJ has something about him. He’s painfully hard to say no to a lot of the time. So, here he is, helping bring down some blankets from upstairs. Despite the fact that our friendship should be ruined at this point. I’m starting to think that this may just be an exception. Why should it ruin everything? It was nothing. Before going back downstairs, I change into an oversized hoodie and some shorts.

My mum makes popcorn whilst we get things set up. Some soft blankets and even comfier pillows are arranged on the couch. I sit myself in the middle, with JJ on my right and my mum on my left. A part of me wanted to have my mum split us up, but that would’ve just looked strange. My eyes light up when I catch a glimpse of the popcorn bowl. “Let’s get started then.”

As the movie starts, I begin to get more excited. “I’m excited,” I smile massively. The more I think about it, the more hyped up I get. “I didn’t know this was your sort of thing,” JJ mutters with a smirk. Of course it’s a great movie, but that’s not what it is. “I watch it for the plot,” I smirk back. The plot being Dave Franco and Jesse Eisenberg. I express my love for the two beauties, only for JJ to simply state “I am so much better looking than them.” I snort at his words. “Whatever.”

20 or so minutes go by. My mum has already started nodding off, and I am beginning to get myself comfy. Without thinking, I nudge myself a bit closer to JJ. I didn’t even have to look at him to notice the growing smirk. The best thing, I thought, was to pretend I didn’t notice what I was doing. I bring my feet up, and lean them against his leg. A small noise exits JJ’s mouth, which sounded like a small chuckle. “Sorry I-” I start. My words pause at the touch of JJ’s fingertips. Even before they touched my bare thigh, I could feel their presence. “JJ,” instead of being a warning, my voice let’s put a wobbled whisper. “It’s fine,” he presses his lips together in a smile. I couldn’t tell his to move his hand away. I didn’t want him to. So I let him sandwich his hand between my thighs.

His hand, large and warm, sat nicely. It felt like an average thing. Every now and then he gently squeezed against my bare skin. Whirlpools. That’s the only way I can describe the way my stomach flipped. I thought, stupidly, that with my mum inches away it would turn everything off. Of course, that is not the case. JJ tries to be slick as he moves his hand further up my thigh. The first time, I do nothing. I’m not sure what to do. But the second, I cup my hand over his. Just as I’m about to tell him off in a whisper, my mum yawns. My heart jumps. “Shit guys, I should probably go to bed,” she stands and stretches. I try and make it look like JJ and I aren’t sitting so close. “You can stay over though JJ, finish the movie.”

My mum wanders out the room. We’re silent as we hear her footsteps all the way upstairs. Until her bedroom door shuts. “You’re not sleeping over,” I try not to smile as I say those words. The truth is, these little flirting games, send rushes through my body. Just like shockwaves. Now we’ve acted on it and I’m not sure how to resist my current urges. “Sure,” and he slides his hand up a bit higher. I grunt, accidentally making it sound slightly like a moan. Oops. That’s embarrassing. “I- uh- we-,” There’s no getting out of this one. I have no choice but to stop myself from uttering another word. I cannot even find the words to sort into a fully functioning sentence. The tension in the air was thick. So thick you would struggle to cut it with any knife; it would simply be too blunt. There were seconds of silence that just dragged on too long. As the tips of his fingers on his right hand trace along my jaw, guiding my head to turn to face him, I find myself lusting for him. “Give in to me Y/N.” Some things are just too hard to resist. Especially when it’s purely sexual. It’s as if my silence screamed for him to continue. Maybe it was radiating through my body. Even if I did speak, I couldn’t hear myself. The only noise was the dangerously loud thumping of my heart as his fingers continued on the trail. My heat was throbbing. He isn’t even doing anything. At this point, probably doesn’t need to. Am I wrong if I just let him? It feels that if I give in, I’m not only betraying the other Pogues, but maybe even myself. This was the deal. Then again, a promise that I made years ago. I was younger then. I’ve changed since then. I don’t care about that shit anymore.

That’s it. I start leaning in. To feel my lips against his, and finally give in to him. Then...

“Are you fucking kidding me?” He grunts, rolling his eyes back into his head as his phone goes off. Facetime. My body leans back in a mix of defeat and relief. I rub my eyes and my face, and hear the sound of JJ answering. “What’s up?” I pretend to shuffle up to JJ, although our legs were still touching anyway. “You’re interrupting-” “The movie,” I rush, feeling the need to cut JJ’s sentence off. “So you don’t wanna come over?” Ki erupts from the background. With a piece of pizza in each of their hands, I realize I do. Being with them, and their cock-blocking asses sounds perfect. A glace comes from the boy next to me. His eyes screamed no. Every part of my body agreed with him. My brain, however, disagreed. “Sure.” His eyes widen. Another eye roll. “We’ll be there in 30.” And he hangs up.

“Why do we need 30 minutes?” I laugh, standing up and gently folding the blanket poorly. I turn down the tv before turning it off. Like a child, I notice JJ with a rather grumpy look on his face. “Come on, you’re not that upset are you?” I ask, trying to hold in my laughter. “I’m pretty pissed Y/N I’m not gonna lie,” he says with a half smile creeping. “We still have time... 30 minutes to be exact...” His hand reaches over to my arm. His soft fingertips slide from my elbow, down to my hand. With that comes a pull. I land perfectly on his lap. A leg either side of his. I try and contain my thoughts. I cannot control my hands as they sit on his face. It’s hard to keep my head straight when JJ’s hands run up and down my thighs. All I can think about is the thin clothing between our crotches. So little, yet way too much. I close my eyes for a second. Just to absorb the sensation. Then it’s time for reality. “Not now.” I whisper. A heavy breath leaves him. “Fine, but you owe me.” As much as I’d love to deny it, it’s promise I’m more than willing to keep. I pull my head away from his, presenting my pinky finger to him. A smile, isn’t cute to me at all, gleams; it radiates. So much so that its contagious. Our pinky’s lock. “Yeah?” The blend of his smile and tone screams extreme excitement. “Cross my heart Maybank.”

John B’s house was now clean. I don’t think I’ve seen for the floor for months. Although I don’t blame him for the way he’s lived for the past few months, It was beginning to get a bit much. He very persistent. I know he’s still waiting for his father to come home. That being said, Kiara clearly was the one who cleaned. “Wow, the shitty smell has faded,” I hit JJ as those words fall from his mouth. That boy has zero filter. “It looks great, I’d love to know how much you helped though Johnny,” I assure him with a smirk, nudging John B on the shoulder. 

“So, what are we doing?” I ask. As soon as the words left my mouth, I realised that I probably didn’t want to know. John B says nothing, just simply forced a smile. Jesus Christ. Instead I look at Kiara. “He said Sarah’s information gave a lead. He wants us to follow it.” I look down at my outfit. I still have my fucking nightwear on. I should’ve known. I’m the stupid one here. Damn. I actually thought we would maybe just sleep for once. 

With John B in the drivers seat and Kiara in the passenger, it left Pope, JJ and I in the back. I found myself staring at the stars flying past as we drove. The Outer Banks is a totally different place at night. It’s beautiful. It’s also scarier and creepier, but we cross those bridges when we get to them. “Hey,” JJ nudges me gently with a whisper. “You alright?” I nod slowly. I wouldn’t say this to John B, but honestly it’s worrying. This whole thing has become an obsession. I know it’s his dad, and I know he misses him like crazy, but is there really a chance he’s alive? And why has this whole thing been so mysterious and chaotic? “What’s up with you two?” It’s only when I hear Pope’s voice that I remember that we’re back as a group right now. “Are you feeling left out?” Is JJ’s response. I try and keep my smile contained. He just has this tone, and facial expression, where you can’t take him seriously. “I didn’t know you felt that wa-” 

“What the fuck John B?” Kiara snaps in an angry mumble. Before the van even stops Ki opens the door and hops out. We haven’t been driving for long, so we can’t be far. Kiara, with an extremely miserable face, hops into the back with the rest of us. I go to ask, but I see Sarah Cameron climb into the front passenger seat. What is this boy playing at? “Oh shit,” I whisper in JJ’s direction. A slight chuckle comes out, purely amazed at the balls on this boy. “Hi guy’s!” Sarah smiles enthusiastically. I feel somewhat obligated to respond. As I’ve mentioned previously, I’ve never had a massive problem with her. “Hey Sarah.” I feel bad for both sides. John B shouldn’t put Kiara into these situations as he knows she doesn’t like her. Then again, I think Ki needs to not be so rude sometimes. Right now, that’s not going to happen. Might as well just enjoy the awkward car journey. 

Sarah and John B giggle away in the front as if they have been life long friends. The rest of us, not including Kiara, sent awkward eyes each other’s ways. Ki sulked silently. So I go back to staring outside. It’s hard not to imagine what it would be like to be free. The Outer Banks area is all I know. My family may ‘have money’, but our trips have always been within an hour’s drive. There’s a world beyond this. There is so much more to see and explore. Maybe that’s why we’re all so hung up on these mini impossible adventures. We’re craving something more.

John B’s plan, he said, was simple. A clue has led us to an area of green. “There has to be something here. We’re close. I can feel it,” his words sound hopeful, despite the wobbly tone to his voice. “Can’t we do this in the morning? We’re not going to find anything in the pitch black,” Pope was right. But John’s desperate. I would be too. “We’ll just have a quick look around,” he promises. He wanders to the back of the van, and takes out some torches. “I think we should split up into three pairs,” when Sarah speaks, I can automatically feel the rage coming off of Kiara. With an excessive eye roll, she might as well have just said something. Everyone else must’ve seen it, but it get’s ignored. Probably best not to fight in the darkness, in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by trees. I send a quick smile Sarah’s way. “Okay. So... I’ll go with Sarah. You and JJ, and Kiara and Pope.” 

“Don’t look so smug,” I warn the smirking JJ as we separate from the others in our direction. It’s pretty typical for us to be paired, but we also do make the best team. With a torch, I look around as if I know what I’m looking for. “This is going to be impossible,” I grunt already in defeat. I really want to help John B, but I don’t even think he’s helping himself at this point. How long is this going to go on for? “Do you think he’s alive?” JJ asks in a whisper. It’s a question, I think, we’ve all been too afraid to ask. John’s answer is simple. We wouldn’t be searching for clues in the middle of the night if he didn’t. I hesitate. As I shake my head, my heart breaks a little. I wish I did. It would make things a little easier. “Me neither.”

Although being surrounded by trees at night is usually the scene of a horror movie, it’s rather beautiful. Scary, but beautiful. Around 15 minutes has passed since we split from the others and no one has found anything; I assume anyway. There is zero service on our phones, so really we have no idea, but my gut is telling me that there’s nothing to find. “I spy with my little eye, something beginning with G,” I smile. For about 5 minutes, we’ve been playing I-Spy. Perhaps at the hope of us ‘spying’ something we usually wouldn’t spot. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. I’ve been the one annoyingly asking, and he’s just been playing along to humor me. “I swear to god Y/N if it’s grass...” He warns. Like I said, we’ve seen nothing but the wilderness. “My turn.” 

As someone who pretty much refused to play, I was interested to see what better he could do. There’s nothing to see. “I spy something beginning Y.” Okay. I immediately start looking around, into the darkness. This is only I-Spy, but I need to win. JJ is one cocky mother fucker. I turn to him and frown. “Y? You know you have to actually be able to see this thing right?” I finish my sentence. Two hands go to my waist, guiding me backwards. “It was “You up against a tree, naked.” And I was. Well, I was pressed against the tree. My heartbeat went from a normal pace, to almost having a sudden heart attack in seconds. I open my mouth to speak, but no words seem to come. What is wrong with me? “I make you speechless,” he leans down to my ear and whispers. I still say nothing. As I finally feel words ready to be released, I get interrupted. And no, not by JJ. 

We walk back to the van in silence. Trying to hold everything in, I restrain my need to smile and let out a giggle. I’m thankful to see the others. “How did the searching go?” John B asks as we finally become a group again. “We didn’t find anything,” A big part of me wished we would’ve found something. Not that me and JJ were properly looking, but it would’ve been nice to come back with some hope. “I’m sorry guys. We should’ve waited until the morning to look around,” Unsure if anyone else saw what I did, I glance around. Sarah - only for a second - nudged her hand against him. I can’t help but find it cute. 

Once we dropped Sarah and Pope home, we all went back to John B’s as planned. “You two can take the bed,” he, the gentleman he is, gestures towards the bedroom. John B’s dad’s room is locked. “I don’t mind sleeping-” “Just take the bed,” his voice, which was quite assertive, was joined by a smile. Without even thinking, I wrap my arms around John. “We will find something,” I assure him. He need to believe it, whether I do or not. I kiss him on the cheek. “I love you John.” In true JJ fashion, he joins in on the hug. “Wow I love you guy’s too.” “Hey! I wanna join,” I chuckle as Kiara swerves herself into the huddle. “Okay, that’s enough!”

So I lay there; just staring at the ceiling. Kiara is already asleep. I’m jealous. I’ve tried. It’s hard to sleep with all these thoughts going through my head. There’s too much going on. 

‘Are you awake?’ I text JJ. Within seconds I get a reply.

‘Do you need some company ;)’ I roll my eyes, more at the fact that he knows I do. 

‘You gotta get your mind out the gutter ;)’

My stomach turns at the response. I read it over and over, just to get it to stick. The picture those words paint in my head should be illegal. Words like that should be a crime. I’ll just read it once more.

‘I’d rather have my head between your legs’.

How does he expect me to sleep after that? I try and keep my eyes closed, but the only way they do is if I squeeze them shut. I hear quiet footsteps. When I let my eyes go, I see JJ tip-toeing into the bedroom.  My body sits itself up. “What are you doing?” I ask with haste. His face becomes clearer as he gets closer. “Didn’t you get my text?” He smirks, making my stomach flip just like a gymnast on a trampoline. I refuse stay speechless like earlier. He does not have this affect on me or my body. “Yeah but-” “It’ll help you sleep,” He shrugs, lifting the blanket slightly. “JJ.” I whisper, stopping as soon as an index finger starts trailing up my leg. I want to resist. I’m sure I can. It would be so much easier if I actually wanted to. He gets closer to the top of my thigh. I start asking myself, what if I just let it happen? Just one more time? It can’t hurt. “Y/N.” I was so caught up in my thoughts, I didn’t notice how close JJ’s head was to mine. When our eyes locked, I knew; I knew there was only one way this was going to go. 

I pull his lips down onto mine. I hate admit it, but the main thing that came to mind was ‘finally’. JJ doesn’t hesitate to start lining kisses from my lips down to my neck. Forgetting where I am, more importantly forgetting the fact that Kiara was inches away, I let out a slight moan. I immediately cover my lips. He lets out a deep but quiet laugh. “Shit,” I feel my cheeks begin to redden, and I’m instantly thankful for it being dark. “I have that affect on people,” shaking my head, I push him gently. “Yeah yeah.”

I hardly realized at first, but I was pushing his head lower. If I’m being honest, I was getting desperate now. I need him. Now. The tips of his fingers hook around the outsides of my shorts, smoothly down my thighs in the process. He didn’t hesitate removing my underwear quickly after, placing it next to the bed on the floor. 

A soft kiss gets placed on the inside of my thigh. I was already wet. Possibly the worst thing would be for him to know that he now has this hold over my body. A temporary hold. It won’t last. Another kiss, closer to my heat now. I wished to shout at him. He’s a teasing asshole. One more, the last one, gently exactly where I desired him. “Fuck,” he whispers, so attractively. His hand grips both of my thighs, pulling me closer to him. He attaches his lips to my throbbing heat. A deep breath exits my mouth. My hand goes straight to his hair, scrunching my fingers and pulling. Every fiber of my being wanted to moan. The pleasure shooting through my body was immense. As his tongue swirls with skill, he sends my body into a growing frenzy. Perhaps it’s the build up. Whatever it is, it feels amazing. His tongue starts concentrating mainly on my clit. Between every suck, every nibble, my stomach started building a tight knot already. My thighs clamp around his head, which he opens back up without interrupting his work. If I’d have known how good he was at this, maybe I would’ve given in a little sooner. “Oh my,” I whisper as quietly as I can. My breaths were loud enough. His arms hook a tighter hold on my thighs to keep my in place, as my body moving uncontrollably. I was so close. I knew he could feel it too. The knot begins to tighten, excitement growing more and more. And I let go, bringing a release that - although was only growing for a day - was much needed. I press my mouth against my arm to contain the majority of my moan. He gracefully lets me ride out my high, until I’m even more of a heavy-breathing mess beneath him. 

He unhooks himself. I can’t help but smile massively at him as his face comes into view. “Don’t,” I stop his words with a whisper. His eyebrows raise. I do wish he wouldn’t always have that fuckboy smile on his face. “Go back to the couch,” I nudge him on the shoulder. As quietly as he can, he gets up off the bed. He comes close to my ear once more. “Bet you can sleep now.” 

And I did.

Tag list:

@nevinna

If you are interested, here’s the link to Part Three :)

[deepdonutkid]

Nonsense

A/N:

This took me way too long! I’m sorry, I was stuck on the Polly part for a while after Helen’s death.

Even though there is a part in the middle, which I’m not really satisfied with, I’m still glad, I finished that chapter. I hope you like it. It’s a little sad for a story, that will later focus on... other stuff.

Tbh... I forgot, if Martha died from a disease or something else. That’s why this part is a little vague. But he will talk more about his dead wife much later in the story.

English is not my first language and this is not beta-read, just a small part of it! Thanks to @retromafia​ for helping me out on this chapter! You’re so lovely!

John as mental health issues, but it’s very different to those of his brothers!

tagging: @bonniesgoldengirl​ @theshelbyclan​ @justalonelyslytherin​

Masterlist Do you wanna touch

____________________

All fucking week he had thought about this date and her. John was distracted at work, at home and at the Garrison. His head was somewhere else, preferably with her, the beautiful Russian girl he had met a couple of days ago. He tried to keep this to himself even though he worried others would start to notice his weird behavior. Well, it was pretty hard to shut up about it, when he sat drunk next to his friends in the pub, but John wasn’t really ready to talk about this. It still felt so surreal like this encounter had never happened and it was all in his head. In addition to that, others- mainly his family- would gladly ruin this for him, before it had even begun, which was why he was so reluctant to talk about it.

They would ask him all sorts of stupid questions, which he couldn’t answer at all. He frowned and closed the book. Later he would meet the mysterious woman again and this was his only chance, since he didn’t know her full name or her address or another way to contact her. So he had to go there or he would go crazy thinking about what might have been. But there was a problem with that.

Of course there was a problem as nothing in his life could be easy. Not even once. However he refused to call his kids a problem. His dad called him like this more than once. And if John wasn’t a problem, his name was either accident or brat. Needless to say John was way nicer to his children than his father was to him. John loved all four of them. He really did, but… somebody had to look after them, while he wasn’t at home. So he had to ask either Polly or Ada and he didn’t know what would be worse.

His sister would spread the word of him having a girlfriend faster around than a disease. Maybe she would even spice up the story a little and add some drama just for the fun of it. Then he wasn’t out for a date, but to meet the woman he had impregnated or what else. And Polly, well she was the main reason he was scared to even mention his rendezvous. His aunt had the great talent to investigate his private life like fucking copper. Once she had sniffed something, she wouldn’t let go of it and kept bothering him.

Anyways he had to talk to one of them and the chat wouldn’t be a nice one. A choice between the foul and the evil. Ugh, he was in the mood to flip a coin. There were some on his desk. So why not? He looked around, if anybody was watching him, but he was alone in his office. Then he took a coin from the daily bets and tossed it. Once it was up in the air, he had made up his mind. The coin just proofed it. He should go to Polly and it would fit in his schedule as now was his lunch break and he would eat with the others anyway. If he would go now, he could still catch her alone in the kitchen. A grunt left his lips while he stood up from his chair. His pace was steady, but fast as he made his way through the betting shop. Luckily nobody noticed that he left his table a little too early.

He had never opened or closed a door as quietly as in this exact moment. “Polly?”, he had asked in a careful tone into the empty room. John heard movements from the kitchen. Suddenly her head peaked around the corner. “Yes, John?” She had emphasized every syllable as if he was stupid. Maybe he was just not ready to have this talk. On the other hand he had no chance. This was a now or never situation and he preferred now over never.

John gathered all his courage to approach her: “Would you do me a little favor?” All the sudden his hands were sweaty and no matter how many times he had rubbed them on his pants, it wouldn’t get any less smeary. Usually he wasn’t so nice and polite to his relatives. It was more like he had earned the title arrogant brat rightfully. He scratched his neck and gave her his best puppy eyes. And just to top it off his angelic smile, which had saved him many times before. Most of the times, he could avoid the consequences of his own actions with his charming smirk.

But today it didn’t help. Polly just shook her head. “What is it this time?”

“Just a little thing”, he began, then paused to take a deep breath and gain courage to exclaim his wish: “Can you watch the kids this evening? It’s really important.”

His aunt froze mid movement and starred at him. After a while she started blinking. Her glare was concerning. “Why this time? The last time was just a week ago. Another task from Tommy? He didn’t talked to me about this.”

John pressed his teeth again and shook his head. He looked at the roof and searched for the right words to explain his situation. Why was this so difficult? It was just a date. Yet it felt like so much more.

The Shelby sighed, while his hand was fumbling with his lighter in the pocket of his pants. “I’m meeting someone” was his short answer to a complex problem.

“Did Tommy ask you to?”, she asked once again. No matter if it was business or his private life, Polly liked to be up to date.

Again he shook his head. “No, not Tommy, but it’s still important. So would you please help me?”

Polly clucked her tongue and hurried back to the kitchen. John followed her and leaned against the door frame, waiting for his answer.

“Well, I got a meeting too, so you better change the appointment with said woman, because I don’t want to change my plans for you”, she replied, while stirring a pot. Afterwards she tapped the wooden spoon against the pot and turned around. “Lunch is ready. Better get your brothers, so we can eat.”

Apparently the conversation was over, because it really started, but John wouldn’t give up right away. “But I can’t”, he protested: “That’s the only night she is available and I don’t know how to reach her.”

Without looking at him, she walked right back into the living room and started putting dished on the table. “Ahh, see? I was right about the woman part… But why do you want to meet somebody you barely know?” Her question was reasonable.

John was so lost in his thought about her and yet he had no answer. No good ones. So he just said the next best thing: “I won a bet and I want to see her.”

Right when he said that his brother came in. Arthur widened his eyes and scratched his chin. “Want to see who?”, he asked. It was horrible how nosy his family was.

There was no peaceful day at the Shelby household. Never ever.

“He has a new girl, but he doesn’t know anything about her”, Polly retorted, before John even had the chance to answer himself.

Arthur chuckled and added: “Oh, Our John was never a man for talking. Right, John boy?”

They had to be fucking kidding him. It felt like he was sixteen again and started to meeting Martha. This was so embarrassing. John nodded slowly and gave his brother a false laugh.

“Well, we had other things to do”, John objected and it wasn’t quite the truth, but close enough. There was just no explanation why he was drawn to this woman, who was a stranger to him, but oh, those kisses really worked some crazy magic on him.

His brother burst out in laughter and slapped his hand on John’s back. “Oh, I know! I fucking know what you mean”, he exclaimed: “Why talk, when you can have fun with a woman?”

And right now, John couldn’t agree less. He wanted to talk with the mysterious woman, but she rushed off into the night before he could even say goodbye to her. Damn, he wished he knew more about her, maybe then he wouldn’t be so nervous right now. The Shelby didn’t feel like his usual cheeky, charming self, more like fucking train wreck.

His face got gleaming red, but he tried to act like was completely cool with it. And it wasn’t like he didn’t want to sleep with her. Gosh, what wouldn’t he give to spend the night with her?

“Pol, you see John’s face. He is red like a crayfish”, Arthur joked and pulled his little brother into a headlock.

Their aunt walked around them, very carefully as she was carrying the big steam pot. She sounded like she was mentally everywhere else, when she murmured: “Yes, Arthur, I see it- shameful red- but now it’s time for lunch, so release your brother and come sit.” Somehow Polly managed to phrase it exactly like their mom used to say it, even though she was only three years older than Arthur, but he’d still respect her.

So he did what she asked him to do and let John go again to take a seat at the table.

It was the perfect timing to beg Polly once again, because he didn’t want to have the same conversation with his sister. “Polly, Please”, he insisted: “I wouldn’t ask you, if it wasn’t really important to me.”

“What is so important about one woman, that you have the great urge to meet her?”

That was the question he was asking himself all week, but okay. Now he needed to come up with an answer or otherwise he would have to get comfortable with the thought he would never see her again.

He licked his lips as he assembled the words in his brain to a convincing answer. “She has…”, he began, but then he got lost again.

“Huge cans?”, Arthur purposed with a big smile on his face.

But John shook his head: “Not that, her tits are average, there is something else about her and I can’t say what yet, that’s why I need to find out…. Or I go crazy.”

He turned to Polly and put on his puppy eyes again. “Do you want me to go crazy, Polly?”

Pol pouted and sighed. “Fine, you get your will again, but that’s the last time and don’t ever bother me with this again.”

His eyes shined bright in the lights of success and more importantly… winning an argument with his aunt. “Thank you and I’ll never bother you again.”

The matriarch went her way around her reign and said to herself: “We’ll see about that.”

Now this problem found its solution, the next question popped up in his head. Where were his kids? Because he was so caught up with his date, he had forgotten to pick them up from school. It wasn’t a serious issue. Three of them could walk home on their own, but the youngest was a different thing.

In his memory of this day, he had left Katie here, but she wasn’t running around like usually. “Pol, where are the kids?”

“The kids?”, she observed: “Oh, the kids you want to get rid of? You mean… those kids? They are upstairs.”

John grunted. That was far from reality and his aunt should know that. “That’s bullshit. I don’t want to get rid of them.”

“Then act like you care for them once instead of fucking around and I might believe you”, Polly chided and gave him the mean side eye, while she filled the plates with stew.

And she acted like a real bitch lately, John wanted to add, but bid his lip to stop himself from saying something he would regret deeply. It was so annoying how she tried to make him feel guilty for having a night off. He was so sick of this. Either he was working or he was with his kids and he had little or no time for himself. Just the few hours when they were asleep and he could go to the Garrison for a beer or two.

“It’s just one date!”, he yelled, but then clenched his fists and swallowed his anger and repeated quietly: “It’s just one date.”

The room was quiet now. Nobody said or did anything for a while.

Then Polly started moving again and explained: “You should focus on getting a wife and not play around with some floosy girl… but you’re an adult now, John, so do whatever you want… just don’t drag me into your mess.”

John nodded and went upstairs to get his kids. Yes, he was still bitter about the things Polly said to him, but he wouldn’t let this ruin his day. After all he had plans. Maybe he gripped the banister a little too tight, well, at least he didn’t bellowed at his children, when he found them making a mess in his old room.

All four were sitting here and around them were all the toys they had. Most of them were his old toys or some from his brothers.

“Lunch is ready”, he grunted and waited for them to get up, so they would follow him. They just stared at him with wide eyes.

His oldest daughter was the first to talk: “We heard you yell at Aunt Polly…”

He didn’t answer instead he just moaned and leaned against the wall.

“You’re away tonight”, she added and tilted her head. There was curiosity in her eyes. It didn’t bother him, but something else did. She had the same eyes as her mother. Like a dagger it pierced his heart, whenever she gave him this look. Martha used to do this as well.

Slowly he nodded. He couldn’t lie to his kids at all. “Yes, but you’ll be staying here and Polly will bring you home, when it’s bed time.”

Breanna thought about this for a second and then like this whole conversation had never happened, she stood up and helped her little sister to get on her feet as well. “Well, it’s time for lunch now”, she declared and look at her twin brother: “C’mon, James, we still got homework to do.”

Now that she was standing, John could see how small she was actually. Sometimes he forgot, she was still a child, but the way she acted was different. His oldest daughter had picked up a lot from Polly and her mother, while he was in France. However he tried to not treat her like an adult. She wasn’t and her childhood shouldn’t be ripped from her. Breanna didn’t need to protect her siblings from anything and yet she still thought it was her job.

James on the other hand was quite the opposite. Loud, angry, such a brat, he picked up fight, whenever he could, much like his father at that age.

Luckily his older brother Colin was also a voice of reason and not as chaotic as James. Colin was the oldest and he didn’t actually talk much, but on somedays and with certain persons he wouldn’t shut up. Most of the time Colin did good in school, read a lot, unlike his uncle Finn who was just five years older than him. And more importantly… Colin did everything his father asked him to.

And then here was Katie, the youngest. Just three years old and a sweet girl, but she was of fragile condition. She was born prematurely and was also the reason why Martha died. John tried to ignore the fact, because even though she was the reason, it wasn’t her fault. How could she? She didn’t pick her time to be born. However from time to time, Katie managed to make him cry. After the war, he rarely shed tears, but every time she was sick and he had to go with her to the hospital, he lost his nerves. She was still his little baby and the thought of losing her too wrecked him.

They were all on their way downstairs and John followed them back. He held Katie’s hands while walking down the stairs.

The lunch was very silent. There was still tension left in the room, but John didn’t cared. Katie was sitting on his lap and they both ate from the same plate, like they always did. But it wasn’t a cute ritual, more like a space problem, with all the family members around the table, it was a little cramped. Too cramped for Katie to have her own stool. Another reason, why he needed a wife. So he and his family could eat in his kitchen and they would all have enough space again.

A part of John was worried Polly or Arthur mentioned his date to Tommy, who would gladly take the opportunity to ruin his day. His older brother would pick all the question, John had been asking all week and then make him look stupid in front of the whole family. But apparently Polly was too pissed about the fight to say anything that day and John thanked god for this.

Somehow Katie spilled the stew all over his pants, but he had no time to go back home and change his pants. He still needed to finish the books and after that, he could get dressed for his date.

So John sat in his office in a damp suit and tried to fix what he did wrong before lunch.

Maybe the luck was on his side today after all, because he managed to get everything done early. Somethings didn’t went as smooth as he had wished for, but at least it worked out so well, that he could go to the date and it was still a win for him.

As fast as possible without running he walked home and sprinted up the stairs to the master bedroom. Now he could change his cloths and he was indeed very happy about it. The stew had dried on his leg, which made his skin itchy. Basically he ripped his clothes off the second he arrived in his room.

“Fuck.” A curse left his lips, because he got stuck in his pants and almost hit the floor. Last second he got his balance back and then threw his pants in the opposite direction. He could care about this later.

First he had to clean the stains from his body. So he rushed to the kitchen, just in his underwear and rubbed his leg with a wet cloth. This had to be enough. With the time he had left, he couldn’t take a bath.

Back in his room again, he stood in front of the cabinet and picked the first suit he had in his hand. There was no discussion about this. Suits were suits and he had plenty of them, all of them looked good on him and she wouldn’t even mind, would she?

While he button up his shirt, he stopped all the sudden. What if she would mind? Slowly he walked backwards to the cabinet. Should he wear his Sunday suit? Thought and thoughts came rushing in. She seemed like a fine lady, but yet she agreed to meet with him. Maybe she wouldn’t, if it wasn’t for the bet.

He got headache since his argument with Polly and it got worse. Maybe he would go to the spot, where they should meet and she wasn’t there. The possibility, that she tricked him, hadn’t occurred in his mind until now.

Honestly, John felt so stupid, when he realized how weird the coincidence was. What were his chances to be so lucky? To meet a beautiful, wealthy and unmarried woman, who was also funny and charming and mysterious and he could find a ton more of adjectives to describe her? And then win the round and the bet, he had made with her? What were his chances for that? So either he was one of the luckiest men in this world or a goddamn idiot.

Or maybe… his mind tricked him. He was pretty drunk after all and in his twisted mind the details of this scene got lost. Maybe he didn’t win the round, but because he wished so bad for it, he had changed his memory of that said night. Maybe he was so lonely he made up this perfect woman, because he couldn’t bare his poor existence anymore.

And did he think about his stupid suit so much?

Yes, he was nervous, but this was no explanation for this nonsense.

Right now, John was freaking out about a woman he barely knew. It reminded him of a time, where he did the same thing… but with Martha, a girl he had known all his life. Back then and today he was well aware of why he was so nervous around his first wife. He loved her and he was afraid of saying or doing something very stupid.

But he didn’t loved that Russian woman. He couldn’t, not after only one kiss. It was impossible and yet the kiss felt so real. The memory of her lips was burned into his mind and it drove him crazy.

And he didn’t know, why he had this feeling, which wasn’t love and he didn’t even know what it was, and suddenly he had more questions in his head than he ever had in his whole life.

Usually, he didn’t think that much about anything. He wasn’t the guy who put much thought into every little thing that happened around him.

Everything he wanted to do now was to yell. He couldn’t even put his frustration into words anymore.  His head was full of white noise.

Barefooted he stood on the wooden floor of his bedroom, which he used to share with the love of his life. John took a few deep breaths and looked around. Everything was still the same. After the war he had no energy to change something in here, even though it was just fueling his mental health issues. There was still her cabinet with her dresses and her stuff and sometimes when he was particularly lonely, he felt the fabric and imagined her soft body under it. It didn’t smell like Martha anymore, but sometimes he wished.

It felt like suffocating. He couldn’t breathe nor cry, even though tears filled his eyes.

He walked over to his nightstand and looked at the photograph of her. “You don’t get to fucking judge me”, he whispered: “Like you always did. You died and I’m still here and I love you and I always will, but don’t ruin this for me.”

“You put all these questions in my head, so I’ll fuck up and ruin everything”, he argued… with his dead wife like she was there. And he could imagine her so well, standing next to him with her arms crossed in front of her chest and that piercing look in her eyes.

Even before she died, he talked a lot to her and about her and sometimes just to himself, but it just got worse, when he came home from France. He can’t handle the silence in the room nor the void his head. Suddenly he said with a soft voice: “I know, what I promised you back then and when I made that promise, I believed every word of it, but you can’t be the only woman I’ll ever love now. You are dead.”

He wasn’t there when she died and the worst part was… he hadn’t even known until he got home. Polly said, she was about to write a letter, but then she couldn’t, because she didn’t want to bother him, while he was in the trenches. Of course, he had worries, when he didn’t get a letter from his wife in months. John just thought she was mad at him, because she was pregnant again while he was away. And then he came home and his house was empty. No Martha and no kids. So he walked back to Polly’s Place and then she told him. His wife was dead and he was surrounded by his family, but he had never felt so lonely in the world.

To this very day, this memory haunted him in the worst way.

And yet, he refused to crumble right away. Not before it had even started. Life was going on and he refused to just stand there, while the time passed. He would walk, run away from this memory if he had to.

“Let me try it at least”, he bargained: “You don’t know her and neither do I. She could be a beast, a real bitch and maybe, just maybe I don’t want to see her again. And maybe I’ll do, but that’s not your decision. I make my own decisions now, because that’s how things work for the living people, Martha.”

It hurt to say her name, but he had to. The word had so much power over him and he took this power back, by saying it. Then he flipped the photograph over and walked back to the cabinet.

Without a second doubt he picked his finest suit and just like that Martha was gone. She would come back eventually, but right now he had other things to do. Like do his hair and drink a little sip of whiskey for confidence.

With a toothpick in his mouth, he left the house and walked the road. All alone.

[ajbwasntwriting]

Daughter!Reader x Negan, Reader x Daryl: Chapter 5. Secrets hurt

First | Previous | Next

Listen I don’t know why I decided to give each chapter an artsy title I just did. Also as anyone following this may have noticed this story isn’t gonna be regularly updated but rather updated when I have something I’m proud enough to post though I am determined to finish this series, just school comes first. I hope you understand.

I’ll only post more chapters if previous chapters get a good reaction so if you enjoy this please heart it, reblog it, and/or reply to it. Interaction inspires.

if you wish to be added to the tag list please dm me. All chapters can be found under the tag AJ’s Negan’s Daughter AU

The winter continued like that. He’d bring you food and you’d give him goods, even visiting multiple times a week. Sometimes he’d tell you about the stuff, holding up a jar of applesauce ‘from The Kingdom. The guy who runs it used to own a tiger’ or loaf of bread ‘the hilltop grows the grain, but Alexandria makes it.’ You would hum and nod along, knowing he was just trying to convince you to come back. Mainly because he’d ask if you wanted to come back with him and you would be ‘grateful but happy where you are’

You had asked him to start making lists so you knew what to find and you always tried your best to deliver. Cloths, blankets, kitchen utensils, baby bottles-

“Baby bottles?” you asked, pointing at the item on the list. He nodded.

“John and his wife are pregnant and we don’t have enough to go around.” He explained from the comfort of your couch, feet up on the table.

“But you have some?” you continued, not believing what you were hearing “You have...children? As in...babies?”

“Yea. I keep telling you we’re building a society.” he laughed at your bewilderment. “You’d fit in gr-” your mind ran as what you knew was coming ‘Here it comes again. No never works with these people. How do I get him to shut up?’

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” you cut him off, smiling. You turned to your kitchen unit, pulling out a large bot, a can of vegetable soup, and salted beef that Daryl had brought that day. “You’ve brought me so much it’ll probably go bad before I can eat it all.”

In that time he had stood up and walked over to the kitchen, now leaning on the counter. His sudden appearance made you hold your breath “When did ‘get out’ become ‘stay for dinner’?” he asked, seemingly amused.

“When you stopped understanding what ‘I don’t wanna be part of your group’ meant.” You retorted, cutting up the salted beef with a dedicated kitchen knife. “Are you staying or not?” you turned to him, stopping your cuts for the moment. He nodded with a shallow ‘yeah’, making you smile then go back to cutting. You poured the meat and soup into the pot, placing the lid on top. “Some snow on top to water it down and we’ll be sleeping with full stomachs tonight.”

You had him carry some bowls and a ladle up to the roof. Within an hour the fire outside was lit and the food was cooked atop four bricks you were lucky enough to be able to upgrade your cooking fire with, the old lamp now repurposed into a weapon. There was no conversation but you didn’t feel like you needed it. The wind was calm, letting Daryl look out over the city. “Do you know where the museum is?” He asked while you were stirring the soup.

“A couple of blocks down,” you called back. “Why?”

“Me and a few others are planning on raiding it in the summer” he answered, not turning back to you.

That’s when you realised something. You had heard about all these friends. Carol, Michone, Saddiq, Rosita, Eugene, Henry, Ezekiel, Lauren. He’d mentioned them in passing, saying how they made something he brought you or appreciated something you brought him. Yet he always came alone. It would’ve made more sense if Rick was doing these deliveries, you’d met him before the winter. Sure you stitched up his leg.

The two of you were sitting in front of the fire as it fizzled out when curiosity got the better of you. You swallowed the food in your mouth.

“Why are you always here alone?” you asked, he looked up at you from the other side of the fire. “It makes more sense to have people watching your back but for the past month or so you’ve been visiting me on your own. Why?”

“That’s how it is” he scoffed between mouthfuls.

“That’s how what is?” you snapped.

“You’re allowed to be all secretive but I’m meant to have my cards on the table.” he cut back. You thought it over a second, then went back to eating. You both finished up as the fire mellowed, taking your leave back inside. You carried the pot while he held the bowls. Back in your unit, you piled the dishes into the sink.

“I should get going,” he said, going to pick up his back.

“Y/N!” you nearly yelled. “My name is Y/N,” He looked back at you incredulously. A tense silence fell over you both “Before this,” you waved your hand to motion to the apartment “I was with a few people...including my father. We managed to secure a building, kept the walkers out but after some time new people arrived and a few of them got...Protective, I guess. Including my old man.” You crossed your arms and leant against the sink, the floor now far more interesting than the man in your apartment. “People died keeping me safe when they didn’t need to, all ‘cause my old man refused to let me help, but we were still bringing in new people but not everyone was helping, either cause they weren’t allowed to or didn’t want to. That caused anger to boil in the group and then...more people died.” Thinking back on the Sanctuary tears began to flow, but your voice didn’t shake and your body stayed firm. “I ran away and I’ve been hiding ever since ‘cause I know they’ll kill me if I’m found.” You finally looked back at Daryl who had been hanging on to your every word. You wiped away your tears. “You said I can’t be secretive, well there it is.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“You don’t wanna go home” you cut him off. “You don’t like where you rest your head, that’s why you’ve been spending more and more time out here with me. I get it.” you pushed off the sink, leaning under it to pick up a jug of water to do the dishes with. “You can leave or you can stay the night. I don’t mind.”

You turned your back on him to focus on the dishes. He picked up his things and left without another word. ‘That’s it’ you thought as you scrubbed the pot, now getting more aggressive with it, ‘you fucked up Y/N.’

The following morning you woke up, opened your bedroom door, and saw a familiar red-neck on your couch. You couldn’t stop the smile that plastered your face, but you did grab some clothes from your closet then went back to your room to dress. This time when you left he was up. “‘Morning” he croaked as he stretched. “This couch was a lot comfier the first time.”

Your relationship continued like that for the next while. He’d visit you more regularly, stay for dinner, and usually, he’d stay for the night. You got tired of the complaints about the couch and cleared out the second bedroom. You liked having him visit and were willing to facilitate it. He’d even begun leaving a few things there. Functional stuff like arrows for his bow and fuel for his bike. You found him some clothes and extra blankets, and a bigger bag to carry stuff home.

You didn’t ask why he didn’t want to be with his people. After keeping everything a secret for so long it didn’t feel right, but you could guess. Between your family and your time in the army, you had developed a skill in reading people, a skill you noticed he also had. Maybe that’s why every second didn’t need to be filled with conversation. Though you wish it was so you could know more. He was kind, there was no question of that with everything he did for you without even knowing your name. Though when he came to your apartment he was tense, and he was never happy to leave. This made you think he was going somewhere he didn’t want to be, but he had to be. He always talked so highly of the settlements, trying to get you back there. He must be going someplace else.

The winter passed, your garden began to flourish again, and the walkers thawed. You thought after the winter Daryl would stop visiting but he still showed up. He didn’t come as often for a time, saying he wasn’t gonna make the trip unless he had enough to offer you. You frowned at this “Do come out” you ordered him. “You’ve got people relying on you. Children and everything and I’m able to find stuff in the city you need.”

“I don’t wanna leave you short. Our deal ya know-”

“Screw the deal, Daryl.” you huffed “You’re my friend and I wanna help you”

“Oh we’re friends?” he commented, with a cheeky smirk “Didn’t you try to kill Rick.”

‘So Tara told them’ you thought. “Yes,” you said “In a friendly way.” normally he wouldn’t find that funny, but these past few weeks escaping away to your hide-out had given him a chance to get close to you. “Come and visit me when you can, please? I got nobody else to steal my food.” That afternoon you both search for some last pieces for Daryl, having to go deeper and deeper into the city. You talked about his group’s plan to go to the museum and raid it for seeds and old machinery. You saw first-hand what a crack-shot he was with his crossbow, you whistled as another went down “Not bad bow-boy. How’d you get so good with that?”

“Before all this” you started, walking ahead to pull the arrow out of the dead one. “Me and my brother, Merle, used to move around a lot. We used to hunt sometimes for sport, sometimes for food, but he’d always make it a competition. Decided to learn a quieter weapon so I could beat that son of a bitch.” Another two walkers approached as he spoke. He shot a bolt through one of them while you took the other down with your knife. “After that, he never helped hunting again”

“Sounds like a sore loser” you commented, pulling the arrow out of the walker's head and handing it back to Daryl. He took it and reloaded the bow.

“You have any brothers or sisters?”

“Nah” you shook your head, keeping a lookout while he reloaded. “My old man said I was a miracle baby. Mom was always sick. They thought they’d never have any. I used to hate it but after hearing how Merle left you in a cell while he ran off with your girl, I’m glad.”

“Ahh, he wasn't all that bad,” he commented, walking alongside you.

“No one is as bad as they seem when you know them. At least that’s what my superior officer said”

That evening he couldn’t stay, but he left with a heavy bag and that made you happy. As the evening descended you went back to your unit. The following week would be quiet since Daryl had his big raid coming up. Though you didn’t realise how quiet until you were in the midst of it.

You had scavenged a few things. At this stage, the apartment building had been picked dry but you had a few children’s cloths and some old bandages from first-aid kits that had seen better days. As usual, you had piled everything in Daryl’s room. As usual, you were reading another book. As usual, it failed to entertain you since you’d read it about three times now. As usual, you fell asleep on the couch, not completely though because you heard the front door open.

You sat up sharply. “Dary-”

Thwack

~ Tag List ~

@softsebastian​

[tsarisfanfiction]

Fic Recs: Thunderbirds

A while ago I did a Scott!whump Fic Rec.  This time there’s no theme.  Just Thunderbirds!  Characters and genres vary wildly.

Got put in the mood to do this the other week, and after trawling through all my AO3 bookmarks/FFN favourites, and then the archives themselves because I’m terrible and forget to save fics, here are a bunch of my personal favourites.  As always, only complete fics feature (there are many fantastic ongoing ones, but I’m lazy and don’t like having to update fic statuses).

This list is also long.  100+ fics long.  So it’s under a cut to save everyone’s sanity.  There’s also a spreadsheet version of it that I’ll make available if you wanna search by character/genre/universe etc.

Ratings are all using AO3′s Gen/Teen/Mature, so for FFN “K+” fics, I shoved them in either Gen or Teen, depending on my personal opinion.  Likewise, genres are done using FFN’s method for conciseness, so AO3 ones I just kinda guessed.  Only the major characters are listed.

I’ve tagged (attempted to tag, tumblr please behave) authors where I know their tumblr.  If there’s any I haven’t tagged that anyone knows, let me know!

And one last thing before the recs: If there’s anything in particular you want recs for, whether it be a character, a theme, a trope, a fandom, etc. just let me know and I’ll see about putting one together!

Δv/Δt by @tb5-heavenward [Gen; Family; John, Scott; 4k] Deceleration is a function of velocity over time.

A Break In Routine by @loopstagirl [Teen; Family/Hurt/Comfort; Scott, Virgil; 15k] They put themselves in danger time and time again. That doesn't mean they can always walk away from it again though.

A Father by rosefields [Gen; Family/Hurt/Comfort; Scott, Jeff; 3k] Scott Tracy has been under a lot of pressure since his mother died. But he can cope, it’s not a problem. Jeff know that, his oldest is strong and capable and he doesn’t need his father. Right?

A Guide to Valentine's Day (and how to exploit it) by Silverstar [Gen; Friendship; John, Penelope; 1k] In which John and Penelope pretend to go on a date to make the most of the discounts offered on meals for couples, because Valentine’s Day is about all kinds of love, including the platonic kind. A Seed Once Sown by @darkestwolfx [Gen; Friendship/Humour; Ned, Tracy Family; 4k] Believe it or not, they did have a garden on Tracy Island. It looked a little like a… tip. And that was being kind. A Son By Any Other Name by @space-baegel [Teen; Family/Angst; Scott, Tracy Family, Penelope; 83k] [AU] Cursed as a child, Scott Tracy lives a life in which everyone he encounters must follow all of his given commands. A Summary of Events by PanicPixieDreamGirl [Teen; Family; Tracy Family, Kayo; 3k] This is best described as ‘a look at how IR might function in the real world’ except obviously it’s not quite the real world because it’s several decades in the future and also after a war. A Typical Morning by @louthestarspeaker [Gen; Family/Humour; Tracy Brothers; 6k] The Terrible Two are scheming, Virgil just wants to be sleeping, and the brothers are faced with a bit of a situation. A typical morning in the Tracy household.

Access Denied // The Subject of Virgil by @gumnut-logic [Mature; Angst/Hurt/Comfort; Virgil, Scott; 5k // 8k] He found a way. All Alone by @loopstagirl [Gen; Family/Hurt/Comfort; Scott, Grandma; 5k] Scott reaches breaking point for looking after his brothers so Grandma Tracy takes charge of the situation, and her son. Babies and Brothers by @loopstagirl [Gen; Family; Scott, Jeff; 3k] He may grow into the world's most protective big brother, but even Scott needed time to get used to the idea of younger siblings. Back Story by @thunderbirdcarebear [Gen; Family/Hurt/Comfort; Scott; 6k] That rock slide while rescuing Kat Kavanaugh has left Scott with more than just a few bruises. Bedtime by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Family; Scott; 1k] “They’re my family.” Bring Our Starman Home by @lenle-g [Teen; Hurt/Comfort/Family; John, Scott; 28k] When a meteor hits Thunderbird 5 while shields are down, the Tracy family think John is dead for sure. Scott has prepared himself to fly up in TB3 with Alan to retrieve a body, for John couldn't possibly still be alive after that... could he? Bruised by @gumnut-logic [Gen; Hurt/Comfort; Scott, Virgil; 2k] Sometimes the prescription is simple, if unexpected. Buckle by Teobi [Gen; Family; Scott, Grandma; 1k] She finds him sitting at his father's desk, when everyone else has gone to bed. Candy Strippers by Chobrowny [Gen; Family/Hurt/Comfort; Scott, Virgil, Gordon; 1k] The boys are unintentional candy stripers, visiting a childrens hospital in IR gear. Career Day by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Family; Outside PoV, Alan; 7k] It is Career Day at school for eleven year old Alan Tracy. He has just lost his father. Who will he invite? Communications by nhsweetcherry [Gen; Adventure/Humour; Tracy Brothers; 4k] Random, short snippets of conversations between the guys. Some funny, some more serious. Coping Mechanism by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Hurt/Comfort/Angst; Virgil, Gordon, Scott; 7k] “I get you guys are busy and I’m spoilt that you all visit when you can, but honestly, this isn’t about me. This is out of character for Virg.” A pause. “And I miss him, okay?” Dare To Hope by i_amnerd [Gen; Family/Hurt/Comfort; Scott, John; 1k] Not for the first time, Scott wishes that little brothers came with some kind of training manual or instruction booklet. Denied by @thunderstorm-bay [Teen; Family; Gordon; 4k] Gordon is frustrated after "Deep Search" and "City Under The Sea". Different by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Family; John, Kayo; 2k] John Tracy is different. Dinosaur Dilemma by @godsliltippy [Teen; Action/Adventure; Gordon, Alan; 14k] Never in a million years would International Rescue have thought they would be rescuing victims from dinosaurs. Alan's excited, Virgil is... well, Virgil, John's out of his element, and Gordon is terrified. Edge of the World // Here Be Dragons by Corbyinoz2 [Teen; Hurt/Comfort/Adventure; Gordon, Virgil, Scott; 47k // 114k] When returning from a rescue mission, Thunderbird Two is attacked by an unknown force. As Virgil and Gordon plummet towards the ocean, their chances of survival will depend, as it always does, on each other. Every time it snows by allandmore [Teen; Hurt/Comfort; Scott, Gordon; 5k] A simple mountain rescue goes wrong for International Rescue. Gordon battles the elements and his memories, and Scott has a tough decision to make. Exhaustion by @sugar-fiend [Teen; Suspense/Angst; Alan, John, Scott; 9k] A rescue mission in space is interrupted with deadly consequences… Expected & Unexpected by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Family; Gordon, Virgil, Scott; 1k] He had brothers. It was inevitable, but sometimes unexpected. Facts of Life by Kaeera [Teen; Drama; Scott; 5k] There are some situations – lying on a floor in a pool of your own blood, for example – that really put things into perspective. Famous Last Words by @loopstagirl [Gen; Family; Scott; 2k] All Scott wanted was for everyone to be quiet so nothing else could go wrong. That was apparently too much to ask. Fires of Adversity by NKala99 [Teen; Family/Hurt/Comfort; Alan; 39k] Not everyone is supportive of Alan’s new and improved attitude towards school. First Times by @loopstagirl [Gen; Family/Humour; Scott; 3k] In which Scott forgets the speed of Thunderbird One, Virgil and John come up with a new form of torture and Gordon is after revenge. Just a normal day in the Tracy household then. Five Times Alan Flew Another Thunderbird by Silverstar [Teen; Hurt/Comfort/Family; Alan; 61k] ...and the one time he didn't. Five Times The Floor Was Not Lava by Silverstar [Gen; Humour/Family; Tracy Brothers; 5k] ...and the one time it was. Flat Packed by @hedwigstalons [Gen; Humour; Scott; 600] A simple mission leaves Scott minus two brothers and plus one headache Game On by @loopstagirl [Gen; Family; Scott, Virgil; 12k] As their future Field Commander, it was up to Scott to make sure his brothers were ready for duty - physically as well as mentally. Grudgingly Human by Yarnaholic [Mature; Angst; Scott; 4k] Scott faces some old demons while trying to talk down a man standing on a building ledge after a rescue. He Is, They Are by ThatGirlSix [Teen; Family; Tracy Brothers; 90k] Fixing what was wrong with their family was going to take longer than the span of a Disney movie, but they'd get there eventually. They lived on an island. It wasn't like there was anywhere else to go. He's WHERE? by @loopstagirl [Gen; Family; Virgil, Scott; 1k] Virgil's reaction to finding out that the Hood is in Thunderbird Two... His Part by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Family, Angst; Scott, Virgil, Tracy Brothers; 4k] It started off as a mild annoyance. Holiday From Hell by @loopstagirl [Teen; Family, Hurt/Comfort; Scott, Virgil, Jeff; 158k] It was supposed to be the break they all needed to put the last year behind them and take a step forward. But things never do work out that easily for the Tracys. Homecoming by @loopstagirl [Gen; Family; Scott, John; 2k] There are times when only a big brother can help. When something seems to be on John's mind, Scott steps up to the challenge. I Dream of Genie by @godsliltippy [Teen; Action/Friendship; Penelope, Gordon; 50k] Penelope stumbles across a treasure that could bring more frustration than she bargained for. Illusion of a Saint by AlternateReality1 [Teen; Spiritual/Suspense; Scott, Hood; 92k] There’s an enemy admist their ranks. He’s hidden in plain sight. The question is… when will the illusion be shattered? In Enemy Hands by Claudette [Gen; Adventure, Drama; Scott, John; 62k] When the secrets of International Rescue are offered for sale to the highest bidder the Tracy family must act quickly. However, their secrets are not the only thing that is at stake. In The Trunk by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Family/Hurt/Comfort; Scott, Virgil; 1k] “Why don’t you ever listen to me?!” It Wasn't Me! by @janetm74fics [Gen; Family; Gordon, Scott; 3k] It's not like it isn't the first time Gordon had accidentally hurt one of his brothers, but this time? When his dad doesn't believe him Gordon decides to find the one person who will make everything better. John Tracy hated taking public transport by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Friendship; John; 2k] Every trip he buried himself in his own world whether it be his work, research, a good book or even a movie. He shut the world out and more importantly anyone who sat next to him.  Sometimes this was not possible.  Because sometimes they spoke to him. Just Another Rescue by teddy0bear [Gen; Family/Adventure; Scott, Virgil; 16k] A rescue turns into a hostage situation Just Let It Go by @angelofbenignmalevolence [Gen; Family; Scott, Gordon; 1k] Scott was just trying to get a little work done. Alan and Gordon were working on Alan's schoolwork. What could possibly go wrong? La tarte aux pommes d'or by Yarol2075 [Gen; Friendship; Scott, Mechanic; 400] Scott needs to thank the Mechanic - it really shouldn't be so hard. Labyrinth by TB's LMC [Mature; Horror/Supernatural; Scott; 12k] One minute Scott Tracy’s at Mobile Control directing a rescue. The next, he’s in a fight for his life. Line 'Em Up Bartender by @madilayn [Teen; Friendship; Scott, John, Colonel Casey; 800] Scott, John and Colonel Casey find a way to cope with one of Jeff's speeches at a Charity Function. Living Like Kings by CLynnB [Gen; Family; Tracy Family; 35k] The world wants to know more about the Tracy brothers. So Lady Penelope takes it upon herself to show the world just who they are. Through YouTube. Making Changes by @madilayn [Teen; Family/Hurt/Comfort; Tracy Brothers; 17k] Jeff Tracy has gone missing and International Rescue has to make some changes to cope with this. Merman by @janetm74fics [Gen; Family; Gordon; 700] He'd always wanted to be a merman. Ever since he was old enough to swim and read, his life had been filled with the sea and the things in the sea. A twist of fate may just give him that wish. Missing Scene: The Uninvited by Juud18 [Gen; Family; Scott; 2k] In between Scott being found by Lindsey and Wilson, and the scene where Scott, TinTin, Virgil, Brains, and Wilson and Lindsey are sitting at the campfire. Mission Impossible by @loopstagirl [Teen; Family/Adventure; Scott, Gordon; 55k] Being selected for his first solo mission should have been exciting for Captain Scott Tracy of the Air Force. But there was something else at play. Something dangerous and deadly. Something that could cost him more than his life. Monsters in the Dark by @loopstagirl [Gen; Family; Scott, Virgil; 3k] Scott was used to checking for monsters to keep his little brothers happy. He just wasn't so used to actually dealing with said monsters. More Than I Bargained For by puppetonalonelystring [Teen; Action/Hurt/Comfort; Scott; 13k] Scott attends a Yale reunion party thinking that it cannot turn out any worse than the last one. Unfortunately, things are never simple for the Tracy brothers - when things turn complicated for Scott he has to depend on his brothers to help sort the situation out, or the secrets of International Rescue will be exposed Never Too Late // Never Too Lost // Never Too Long by @loopstagirl [Teen; Hurt/Comfort/Family; Scott, Jeff; 58k // 75k // 138k] As the family deal with grief, Scott must face his fears and grow up, whilst Jeff battles between being dad and being a successful businessman. But what will it take to bring the two of them back together again? On Their Side by @gumnut-logic [Gen; Family/Humour; Colonel Casey, Gordon, Virgil; 1k] She trusted these boys with a great deal. Once In A Blue Moon by WhatHaveWeDone [Teen; Hurt/Comfort; Virgil, John; 3k] It was an aligning of the planets when John and Virgil got to work together. Out of Your Mind // All in Your Mind by @loopstagirl [Teen; Family/Hurt/Comfort; Gordon, Tracy Family, Hood; 75k // 149k] They can defy the odds and snatch people from the jaws of death on a daily basis. But sometimes, not all dangers come in a physical form. Over and Out by @thunderbirdcarebear [Gen; Hurt/Comfort/Family; Scott; 5k] An incident at an earthquake rescue leaves Scott frustrated when he’s injured. Parameters by @drdone [Teen; Family; Scott, John; 1k] “Just pretend to be my date” with John and Scott - in a non-shippy way. Picnic by ThatGirlSix [Teen; Family; Gordon, Virgil; 13k] Every Tracy has a type of job they hate, be them car crashes, hotel fires, mine collapses, whatever. Gordon absolutely hates tornadoes with a passion. No, really, he hates tornadoes. His life would be so much better if they never did another tornado job ever again. The rest of the family is starting to think so, too. Plus One Tracy by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Humour; Tracy Brothers, Kayo; 2k] So which Tracy is right for you? Pranks and Tempers by shadowfox8 [Teen; Angst/Family; Alan, Scott, Gordon; 8k] It was only supposed to be an innocent prank, but Gordon didn't bargain for more. Questions Like A Whirlwind by @darkestwolfx [Teen; Family/Hurt/Comfort; Scott, John; 6k] He couldn't put it into words. He wasn't sure they'd understand if he did. He felt like a child, he felt like a murder, he felt… like he'd lost something and had no clue how to put it back in place by himself. Rescue by taralynden [Gen; Hurt/Comfort/Drama; Scott; 26k] On the way home from a rescue, Thunderbird One crashes and it’s up to Scott’s family to save him. Scott Series: Fallen Brother by QuestRunner [Teen; Family/Hurt/Comfort; Scott, Alan; 11k] In a rare chance to bond with his youngest brother, Scott takes Alan with him on a simple mission to repair a damaged satellite. With tempers running high, the boys find themselves arguing over the roles they play in International Rescue. When Alan slips off a cliff, it’s up to Scott to save his brother and mend their broken relationship. Scott Series: Hidden Pain by QuestRunner [Teen; Hurt/Comfort/Family; Scott, Virgil; 4k] Scott suffers from a mysterious pain in his abdomen, but continues to push the limits on and off the field. Scott Series: Negative Split by QuestRunner [Teen; Family/Adventure; Scott, Virgil; 6k] Scott recruits Virgil as his fellow running partner for an upcoming 10K. When a mission takes a turn for the worst, Scott must put his running skills to the test before his whole world comes crashing down around him. Second Helpings by mcj [Mature; Family/Romance; Gordon, Alan, Grandma, Tin-Tin; 10k] Gordon Tracy's point of view of a VERY precarious romantic situation! Second Round by @darkestwolfx [Gen; Family/Humour; Virgil; 4k] All he wanted was a shower. Why did shopping have to be so complicated? And why did he always end up going? Next time, Scott could be lumped with the responsibility, smaller craft or not. Shattered by @singmetothesun [Gen; Hurt/Comfort/Family; Scott, Gordon; 2k] One Tracy brother leaves his feelings bottled up, until the smother hen catches him out. Shiver // Smacked by @loopstagirl [Teen; Hurt/Comfort/Family; Scott; 44k // 4k] When one of the Thunderbirds is infecting with something deadly, will the rest of the Tracys be able to save one of their own? Or are they about to be torn apart by grief again? Sidelined by @drdone [Gen; Family; Scott, Alan; 1k] Scott's sidelined for the time being and decides to ask Alan about college. Six Point Five by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Humour/Hurt/Comfort; Virgil, Scott; 1k] “So, Mr Tracy, on a scale of one to ten how would you rate the pain you are in?" Sky Candy by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Humour/Family; Virgil, Scott, Gordon; 4k] It was a pterodactyl sized bird. Possibly an elephant with wings. Sleeping Wounded by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Family/Hurt/Comfort; Scott, Virgil, Fischler; 14k] Scott Tracy punched Langstrom Fischler. Sometimes by @loopstagirl [Gen; Family; Scott; 1k] Sometimes, Scott hates being the oldest. But are there some hidden perks... Stuck Like Glue by @drdone [Gen; Family; Scott, Virgil; 2k] Scott is stuck to Virgil like glue. Literally. Summonings by @loopstagirl [Gen; Family; Scott, Jeff; 2k] Alan isn't the only one in trouble at the beginning of Spring Break in regards to the 'birds. Swamped by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Family; Virgil, Gordon; 1k] So here he was standing in his undershorts on top of his 'bird in the middle of the ocean for all nearby female aristocrats to see. Take a minute by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Family; Virgil, Scott; 2k] A mechanical fault forces Virgil to take a minute in the middle of the Australian Outback. Terror After New York by @loopstagirl [Gen; Family; Scott, Gordon; 2k] It was all over. The rescue complete and everyone back safe and sound, finally. Yet it didn't seem as if everything had yet been put behind them entirely. The Antarctic Incident by @space-baegel, @tb5-heavenward [Teen; Adventure/Drama; Tracy Brothers; 9k] Thunderbird Two goes down in the middle of an Antarctic blizzard. The Assignment by Kaeera [Gen; Humour/Drama; Scott; 10k] Twelve year old Scott struggles with a writing assignment. Honestly, when you have four younger brothers, it can be hard finding time for yourself. The Bite by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Angst/Hurt/Comfort; Virgil, Scott; 1k] “I need my big brother, not his sacrifice.” the devil vs Gordon Tracy by @tb5-heavenward [Teen; Family; Gordon, Scott; 6k] Being a discussion about the namesakes of some lizards. The Fire by mcj [Mature; Family; Tracy Family; 22k] “Sometimes all you need is a little quiet reflection." The Hardest Thing by eriphi [Gen; Family; Scott, Jeff; 5k] How do you manage a billion dollar business and parent four growing boys at the same time? It takes something serious to make Jeff realise that he isn’t managing as well as he thought. The Most Dangerous Game by @godsliltippy [Teen; Action/Adventure; Scott, Gordon; 23k] Scott and Gordon find themselves unwilling participants. The One Where John Gets a Hug by Silverstar [Teen; Hurt/Comfort/Angst; John; 21k] Spending months by yourself has never been advisable behaviour, and John's never been good at asking people for help. Or: the Tracys learn the magical art of communication, with a load of hugs thrown in for good measure. The Proof is in the Jello by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Family/Hurt/Comfort; Gordon, Alan; 3k] “Call it what you want, but I’m not going to let you rot in that room.” The Silent Conversation by mcj [Teen; Hurt/Comfort; Scott; 5k] The sound of sirens, a flash of light and waking up under a pile of rubble. How can Scott survive knowing help just might not come? The Spider Incident by Silverstar [Teen; Humour/Family; Virgil, Tracy Brothers; 5k] It takes a certain kind of bravery to save the world... it takes a different kind of bravery to remove a spider from the shower. Or: there is a spider, and the Tracy boys are disasters. The Splinter by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Family; Virgil, Jeff; 1k] Now he had backup. The Venetian Venture by @tb5-heavenward [Teen; Romance; Gordon, Penelope; 11k] Penelope takes Gordon on a mission to Venice the waffle house blues by @akireyta, @tb5-heavenward [Teen; Family; Tracy Brothers; 5k] Wherein a bunch of boys sit around a restaurant, eating breakfast food and dozing on and off and talking about life. To Raise Havoc by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Family; Havoc, Hood; 1k] They had to come from somewhere and he was more than she ever expected. Tomorrow Never Knows by Silverstar [Teen; Hurt/Comfort/Angst; Gordon, Alan, Scott; 110k] Things had not gone according to plan, to say the least. Now they were trapped on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere with no hope of rescue and increasingly slim chances of survival. To make matters worse, the Chaos Crew had shown up. This was not going to be a fun week. Triple Jeopardy by Purupuss [Teen; Drama; Tracy Brothers; 217k] One inventor and one set of plans. But triple trouble for the Tracys and International Rescue. V.T. Green by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Family; Virgil; 23k] “Did you discover this, Brains?” He frowned. There was something familiar about this. Maybe they had discussed it recently. “Oh, no, this is V. T. Green. The man is brilliant.” We'll Be Home For Christmas by @gumnut-logic [Teen; Family/Friendship; Virgil, Tracy Brothers; 68k] The boys can’t fly home for Christmas, so they have to find another way. Weathering the Storm by tiylaya [Teen; Adventure/Angst; Scott, Gordon; 102k] When an unexpected storm shipwrecks a holidaying Jeff Tracy and three of his young sons, they’re thrown into a situation far more dangerous and complex than anyone initially realises.

[jawritter]

When The Lights Go Out

Chapter 4

Summary: Life hasn’t been your best friend lately, you lost your job, and are on the verge of losing your apartment. Who knew when you decided to join a Sugar Daddy app that your best friend suggested ina last ditch effort to save your apartment, and not end up on the street, your first and only client would turn your whole world upside down.

Pairing: Mobster!Dean Winchester x Virgin! Reader

Word Count: 2846

Series Warnings: Mob level violence, injured Dean, description of injury, creepy Godfather John Winchester, John is pretty much a double bag, escort services, virgin reader, lose of virginity and all the insecurities and fun stuff that come with it, age gap (23 year old reader; 40 year old Dean), angst, unrequited/requited love?, language, smut, unprotected smut.

Chapter Warnings: Shy!Reader, angst, John is number one douchebag, talk of escort services, language, I think that’s it y’all.

A/N: Beta’d by @deanwanddamons! Thanks so much love!! Please don’t copy my work!! Feedback is golden! Hope you all enjoy this one!! It’s gonna be a little bit of a slow burn y’all, but just hang in there!

(This fic is based on this request: Could you do a Dean x reader where she is 23 and lives alone in her apartment, she gets fired and can loose her house, her friend tells her about a sugar daddy app, she makes a profile and Dean 40, contacts her, she is virgin and don’t offers sex, Dean is billionaire business man and needs a girl for his business parties,the reader is really shy, blushes a lot, they fall in love, he takes her to a trip and makes love to her on a private island, could it be a series?)

Want more? Check out my masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***SERIES MASTERLIST***

“Relax, you're gonna be just fine.” Dean said soothingly as he stood in the doorway of your small apartment bathroom, watching you fuss over your makeup. 

Giving him your best bitch face in the mirror, you check your hair one more time before turning to him, letting your arms fall to your sides in a huff. 

“Well, I guess it’s gonna have to do, because this is as good as it’s gonna get.” you tell him, fighting the urge to throw up, scream, and run away all in one. 

True to his word, Dean had stayed at your place all night, and even though you hated to admit it, you did feel a little more comfortable around him now that the two of you had spent all of last night, and most of the day, together. 

If you were being honest, you weren’t sure what you were feeling as a whole. It did feel nice to cuddle with Dean last night, and it did help you a lot that he now knew you were a virgin, and didn't fire you from this strange job thing you had between you, or laugh in your face, but he was still a Winchester, and you were still in way over your head. 

If you fucked this dinner up today, you were both fucked, and that wasn’t something to take lightly.

Dean crosses the floor in one, maybe two strides, picking you up as if you weighed nothing at all, and sat you on the sink in your bathroom before slipping between your knees, his large hands on your waist in order to keep you from falling off, and your hands making their way around his neck to stay balanced. 

“I want you to do me something,” Dean said, leaning down and catching your lips in his in a swift peck to get your attention. “Stop worrying so fucking much!”

Leaning your head down on his shoulder, you closed your eyes and attempted to take a deep cleansing breath. You knew you were overthinking this.All you had to do is sit there and look pretty, much like at the party Friday night. 

Dean had gone over the “details” of your relationship over breakfast this morning, and now, at least, you had  a story of how you met. 

Dean had said since you were an accountant at JPMorgan, he would tell the family that he’d met you on one of his basic runs to the bank, and gotten your number.You were a few dates in, and had only been dating close to two months, which would explain the fact that you don’t know each other very well, and cover up the fact that you were still a little awkward around each other in some aspects. 

As far as the lack of job now, Dean said that you picked up a job as an editor for a local publishing company, and worked from home so that you could study graphic design on the computer. Something you always wanted to do. 

Dean also told you that he could help get you on at the publishing company to work from home reviewing different transcripts next week, so that everything would be legit. He also promised to pick up the slack in whatever money you needed, so that you would want for nothing, seeing as he was technically still your client, even though this had taken a turn far surpassing escort services, and client, clientele relationships. That ship sailed the moment that you had to be introduced to John fucking Winchester. 

“I just don’t want to fuck this up.” you tell him, searching his mossy green eyes as he searched yours. 

“Pretty girl, you’re not gonna fuck this up. Everything is gonna be just fine, just follow my lead, nothing bad will happen, and I have already told you, I will pay you very well, you know that. “

Nodding your head, you let Dean give you another peck on the lips before helping you down off of the sink, and lacing his fingers in your own, leading you towards your apartment door, and down to his car that was parked on the street. 

When you came to a stop you couldn’t help but drool over the sleek black ‘67 Impala that was waiting for you both there. Dean gave you a smirk as he opened the door, his features shifting to an almost playful, boyish smirk that seemed to wash away some of the years that he held so close to the surface, yet so out of reach. 

“You like?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you playfully. 

“Dude, she’s beautiful!”

“She’s my Baby,” he said, helping you off the curb and into the car, shutting the door, before jogging around to the  driver’s side. 

Baby purred to life, as Dean turned the key in the ignition, and pulled onto the busy New York street. Reaching over he grabbed your hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

‘You can do this Y/N,’ you thought to yourself, ‘just act natural.’

God, you hoped you weren’t lying to yourself, because if you fucked this up, there was no word in any language that would describe just how fucked you were.

-------------------------------

A short drive later, and Dean was turning onto an expansive estate in Upstate New York. Rolling hills with green grass, a long paved driveway, and a large house that looked more like a castle sitting on top of a hill greeted you as Dean pulled up in front of the house, and put Baby in park.

“Okay sweetheart, you ready?” Dean asked, giving you a reassuring smile as he put his hand on the door, ready to open it.  

“As I’ll ever be,” you tell him in what you hoped was a confident tone. Dean smiled at you, giving you a peck on the cheek and whispering in your ear.

“It’s already show time Y/N. People are watching and there are cameras everywhere, but it’s okay, I’ve got you, and I’m not going to let anything happen to you remember that.“

Nodding your head, you lean over and boldly give him a peck on the lips, which caused a grin to spread across his face. His eyes sparkled as he kicked the door open, and made his way around the car to open your door. 

You weren’t even out of the car all the way when Sam came to a stop in front of the two of you with Jessica in tow. 

“Dean, Y/N, It’s good to see you again.” Sam said, greeting you warmingly and Jessica smiled at the two of you. You managed to give Sam a tight, nervous smile as Dean pulled you closer to him. 

“Where is everyone Sammy?” Dean asks, turning Sam’s attention away from you, and to his older brother. 

“Out back in the garden. Dad said he wants to have dinner out there. He’s been in a mood all day, you know how he gets. He’s not happy about that deal that didn’t go over so well this week with you, so get ready for that.” Sam warned, and Dean let out a heavy breath. 

“Yeah, I figured as much.” Dean said, as he and Sammy started making their way towards the garden in the back part of the estate with you and Jessica in tow. Jessica gave you an encouraging smile as you both rounded the corner, and you wondered just how nervous you looked to her. 

You didn’t really have time to  speak to her before the booming voice of John Winchester crossed the lawns, as John, Rufus, and another man in a ball cap came into view. Rufus excused himself, heading towards the other side of the house, as the four of you approached the long table that was already set with plates, beers, and wine. 

“Dean, I was wondering where the hell you got off to when you got home from that job I sent you on, I should have known this pretty little thing would have had something to do with your disappearance.”

You blushed deeply as you hid slightly behind Dean, wishing John would find another target, and just leave you alone.

“Easy old man, you're gonna scare her off, and then I’ll be down to the only girl amongst all you boys.” Jessica chided, as she flopped down at a chair at the table. 

“Jessica, so nice of you to join us this evening.” John said, giving her the side eye before turning his attention back towards Dean, who was helping you sit down in a chair before taking a seat next to you, Sam sitting down next to Jessica.

“So boy. What the hell happened?” John asked, jumping right to business as waiters appeared out of nowhere and started plating food for everyone at the table. 

“He didn’t like your terms, so I executed the order you gave me before I left.”

“You could have at least tried to change his mind.” John said, taking a bite of his food, eyeing Dean like a wolf that was eyeing his pry. You hated the way he looked at Dean. Sure you didn’t know much about their business, but you certainly didn’t feel Dean deserved the way John treated him.

“That’s not really a conversation for dinner Dad,” Sam said, stepping in for his brother, “Dean’s the best we got. If he said the deal didn’t fly, it didn’t fly, it’s that simple.”

John gave Sam an irritated look, but didn’t press the issue.

“Oh, Y/N, where are our manners, so wrapped up with business and all that I almost forgot to introduce you to our guest! This is my friend Bobby. He’s going to be opening up a garage in the area, so he’s here scouting property, and Bobby, this is Y/N, Dean’s new girlfriend."

Bobby gave you a smile and a nod, but said nothing, letting the conversation fall away a little as everyone tucked into their food. What conversation did flow was a lot lighter. Sport, cars, family members that John hadn’t seen in a while.If you didn’t know better, they almost felt like a normal family. Almost. 

One thing you had to say for sure was that you did very much like Jessica.She bit no bones with the large, dangerous men at the table around her, and had no problem putting each and every one of them in their place if they needed it. Especially John. She was like Sam’s personal pitbull, and you made a mental note to make sure that you stayed on her good side. 

Soon enough the dinner was over, and Bobby had excused himself, saying he needed to get back to work, leaving only you and Jessica with the Winchesters. John wiped his face, and threw his napkin down on his empty plate in front of him, his eyes dancing across the table at Dean and you, a smirk that would make the devil blush on his face, as his dark gaze stuck on Dean. 

“Sammy, why don’t you take Jessica in the house and do something to entertain yourselves, I want to have a word with your brother and Y/N in private.” John said, and you saw Dean and Sam exchange a confused look as Sam and Jessica got up from the table, making their way towards the house. Dean shifted closer to you, lacing his fingers through yours to stop your hands from shaking. 

Whatever John had in mind to discuss with the two of you, you had a feeling that this was going to be uncomfortable at best, and humiliating at worst. 

When Sam and Jessica were no longer outside, John turned his full attention to the two of you. 

“So, Y/N. How long have you been seeing my son?”

Swallowing hard, you try to speak past the lump in your throat, your voice coming out a lot smaller than you would have liked it to.

“About two months.”

John nodded, biting his lip and running his hand over his beard. 

“Two months, hmm. So I assume you know by now the line of work our family does.” 

Dean made to say something, but the distinct sound of a gun cocking behind you made you both stop dead in your tracks. Your shaking became visible, but Dean stayed calm, giving you a reassuring squeeze. 

“She knows in theory, but she doesn’t know any details.” Dean said, completely unbothered by the gun that was pointing at his back.

“Let the girl speak for herself Dean.” John said, leering at his son from across the table.

“I don’t know a lot sir, nor do I want to.” 

John nodded his head, chuckling to himself before reaching in his pocket and pulling out his phone, throwing it down on the table in front of you. The picture of Your Sugar Daddy app on full display. Your eyes went wide, and your mouth went dry. Even Dean sat up a little straighter next to you.

“You two want to cut the bullshit and explain this, because you know I don’t like to be lied to Dean.” He said, his voice dripping with venom. “Did you bring a fucking whore into my house Dean? To my dinner table?”

“No.” Dean said, eyes locked on his father.

“Then what the fuck is she doing on the site son?”

“It’s not like that.” Dean said, shifting in his chair.

“Really, because there are DM’s on this account asking her to escort you to your brother’s party last Friday night. Did you think I wouldn’t do a background check boy?”

Suddenly your brain that had turned to a mush of fear started working, an idea hitting you like a lightning bolt. 

“Roll play,” you blurted out, and both men looked at you with shocked expressions, before Dean’s became slightly amused. 

“That’s right father, it’s just, roll play, nothing more.” Dean said, licking his lips sensually, throwing his arm around you, and running his teeth over your ear, sending a visible shiver down your spine that landed somewhere deep in your belly.

The shock faded from John’s face, and pure amusement took its place as he clapped his hands together, throwing his head back in a laugh as the man with a gun behind Dean disappeared. 

“I’m sorry you two. For a moment I thought you were actually an escort.” John said, still chuckling to himself.

Dean gave a tight laugh, and you blushed deeper than you ever have in your life.

“Well father, my sex life isn’t something I like to brag about, I like to keep what happens in the bedroom between the two of us.”

John nodded, still looking very amused, but you thank any God that was listening that he bought it. 

“Speaking of your bedroom, that’s something else I want to talk to you about.” John said, and Dean sat back seriously in his chair.

“In order to keep your girlfriend safe, and keep the high table off of your ass, I want your girlfriend to move onto the estate with you.”

Your eyes bugged out of your skull, and Dean stiffened next to you.

“Dad, this is, sudden, I’m not sure that’s necessary. We’ve only been together two months.”

John raised his hand, stopping Dean mid sentence.

“It wasn’t a request. I expect you to have her completely moved in by tomorrow morning. I know you said she doesn't know a lot, but a little is too much these days.” 

You didn’t know whether you were going to cry or pass out, but John seemed to have sensed your upset state. Placing a hand on your shoulder as he came around the table that made your skin crawl, you leaned in closer to Dean.

“It’s for your protection Y/N. Trust me. Also it won't be so bad here! Most women would give up everything to find themselves in your shoes! Now Dean, take her and get her settled in, you can go and help her collect her things tomorrow.”

With that John left the two of you both sitting alone as the dark sky spread over the expansive lawn.

For just a moment you thought you were going to succumb to tears, but Dean’s hand around yours, lifting you from the table, and leading you through the house that would now be your home kept you grounded and in character.

Dean said nothing, just led you through the overly done halls, and rooms filled with expensive furniture. 

 You got to his bedroom. It was a large room with a fireplace of its own, the same expensive furniture that lined the whole house, and a huge king sized bed. With the door safely closed, you fell into his arms,letting the tears wash over you, and he let you cry it out, picking you up, and laying you down on the satin sheets that covered the bed. Shushing you, and kissing the top of your forehead. 

“I’m sorry sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Forever Tag List: @lyarr24 @amandamdiehl @love-jackles-37-blog​ @miraclesoflove​ @waywardsistershy​ @deanwanddamons​ @imabitch4jensen​ @rvgrsbrns​ @bi-danvers0​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @i-love-superhero​ @akshi8278​ @lyss-dw79​ @magssteenkamp​ @lemondropirwin​ @squirrelnotsam​ @hobby27​ @spnbaby-67​ @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @defenderrosetyler​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @thecreatiivecorner​  @aflamboyanceofgays @vicmc624​ @busy-bee-angel-misska​ @justanotherwinchester​ @brilovesdeanwinchester​ @idksupernatural​

[afriendlyblackhottie]

Ransom Drysdale Must Die (Chapter 2)

Summary: Ransom Drysdale is a serial cheater. The only way to get him to pay for what he’s done is for him to die. Or at least be extremely humiliated. As long as you don’t fall for him.

Pairings: Eventual Ransom Drysdale x black!reader, Ransom Drysdale x Multiple OC’s

Warnings: Swearing. Eventual smut.

(Author’s Note: I was watching John Tucker must die and it made me think of my favorite sweater wearing murder daddy.)

Words: 3.4K

It was true that you didn’t really have much of a life in Boston. Having to move around a lot really affected your people skills. Not that you weren’t a nice person or at least you tried to be, but it became a little difficult to know how to talk to people when you grew up thinking that none of it would matter in a few months. 

Your mom had called you asking for you to visit which you hadn’t done since college. You weren’t even sure what state she was in now. Hell for all you know she’d given up completely and moved to a different country. Besides you didn’t really have the space to host someone. Not that your apartment was too tiny for company, but your mom didn’t pack lightly despite being a nomad. 

She’d talked to you as you drove to work. Telling you about another guy that she’d met that she was sure was the love of her life in whatever new place she was in. As much as you wished you could tell her to stop, all you could do was listen and mhm on occasion. 

The Ransom Drysdales of her life were going to keep doing what they do to her and whatever woman they could get their hands on. You just wished she’d make better choices so she didn’t get hurt.

You felt a little bit of relief as soon as you’d arrived at work. Talking to her always made your stomach turn now which you hated, but there didn’t seem like there was much you could do. You kind of understood. She didn’t want to spend the rest of her life alone. Except since she’d jumped around so much she’d kind of made you want to.

You went through the employees entrance stopping at the breakroom to put your stuff away. “Hey,” Andy the assistant golf director greeted you. You didn’t really see him much, but he was always friendly when your paths would cross. He was a really handsome guy, super nice. 

You shoot him a small smile as you close your locker. “Hi,” you said. 

“So, did you hear? Harrington’s on a good one,” he said. “Something about the yoga studio that most of these women go to had to shut down.”

You raised an eyebrow. “What? Damn.”

“I know. Today has been something else.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “Gonna have a lot of pissed off fitness gurus all over the place.”

“Just what I needed in my life.” You sighed. “Well, I better get in there before Harrington rips my head off.”

“Good luck,” he said. 

“You, too.” 

Just like Andy had warned you Harrington was on a good one. You walked into the clubhouse dining to see him chewing one of the other waitresses out, causing her to burst out into tears. You gritted your teeth because it was hard to watch. 

“Jesus Christ, what happened?” You whispered to Britt.

She shook her head. “Well, there was an emergency shut down at the Porter’s Studio which means they’re all coming here which would be fine, but Vida has to combine two classes into one each session.”

You raised an eyebrow. “What? What happened?”

“Apparently Ransom’s amazing good looks,” she started, exaggerating her tone, “made her swoon so hard that Lucy had a misstep on the stairs and she proceeded to totally eat shit.”

You gasped, covering your mouth. “No!”

“Oh, yes. I barely missed all the action.” She pouted in disappointment.

“Is she okay?”

“She’ll be fine, but Harrington had to send her home for the day.”

“Miss L/N, Miss Lin will you mind being useful and getting to your jobs,” he was now turning his fury to them. 

“Yes, Mr. Harrington,” the both of you said in unison, as you suppressed the urge to tell him to fuck off. 

“Actually, Miss L/N, I’ve already assigned you to help out Vida in the yoga studio,” he told you. Of course you’d end up dealing with it. Maybe it was a good thing he trusted you enough to move you between sections.

“Will do, Mr. Harrington,” you said.  

How Vida was still able to keep that zen exterior despite having to take on Lucy’s class and the women that normally went to the Porter’s studio. You weren’t sure if you believe the story about what happened to Lucy, but it was kind of funny to think about. At least she was okay.

You moved everything around on the refreshments table to make it look presentable. This was what he needed you to take care of. At least you’d get to sit all day. 

Vida laid on her mat needing a break before the next class arrived. Dealing with that many of these women at one time was draining. Even if on the outside she hadn’t broken a sweat.

“Ugh, I’m so jealous!” The squeaky voice of a woman said as she walked into the room. “He’s so hot!”

“Shhh, not so loud,” Chloe shushed her as they stopped at the table. “We’re supposed to be keeping it on the low. He doesn’t want his grandfather to find out while he’s redoing his will.” She grabbed a water bottle and a complimentary towel.

“Yeah, but c’mon, Ransom of all people,” she whispered this. “He’s so dreamy.”

Chloe bit her lip. “I know right. And, it’s so different because Jeffrey could never do the stuff we do. It’s insane.” She sighed wistfully.

Your eyes widened as you listened in on their conversation. Was it bad that you were making mental notes to tell Britt after. It’s kind of sad. Closest you’ve gotten to making a friend and you’d managed to bond over the scandalous shit rich people do. 

“You lucky ass bitch I swear.” Her friend laughed as they walked over towards the back of the class.

You weren’t going to lie. You were kind of curious as to what else they were saying as you tried to listen in. You were honestly so fascinated by this whole ordeal. 

Your attention on Chloe and her friend was cut short when Marissa walked in. You didn’t know this many of these girls took their yoga classes here. You scrunched up your face as she went to the last spot in the front of the class to unroll her mat. 

“I already told you, Baby. We can do it later tonight.” She twirled a piece of her hair around her finger as she stopped at your table, her Airpods in each ear. Chloe had come up beside her to grab another water bottle glaring at the other woman as did so. “I can wear one of those sets you like if you promise to do that thing I like.”

Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest seeing them this close together. God you had so much to gossip about. 

Just as the two of them had went to sit down, Amber walked in with her two friends on each side. Holy shit. There really was no way for you to expect this. You know maybe it was a good thing you were always the first one Harrington moved in between sections.

Finally the class had started. You were only half paying attention as Vida had doing warm-ups. “Alright, ladies, give me a nice deep breath and then....” she breathed out dramatically, “exhale.”

This went on for a minute and to be honest listening to her soft commands were making you sleepy. Everyone was following her directions as she broke her own pose to walk around to help help someone who wasn’t stretching deep enough. 

As she had them grab the small yoga balls next. You loved yoga. Yoga was relaxing. You’d rather watch paint dry than watch other people do yoga and yet here you were. 

“Ow! What the fuck, Amber!” Chloe shrieked knocking the room out of the peaceful atmosphere. 

Your head snapped up to see what the hell had happened.  Amber shrugged a smile plastered across her face. “Sorry! It slipped!” She replied in a sickly sweet tone.

Chloe rubbed her cheek as her friend came over to look at it. “Are you okay?” The other woman asked.

Right as Chloe was nodding, another ball flew hitting in her face. This time a lot more deliberate making her losing her footing. When she stood up there was this fire in her eyes. “What the hell is your problem!” She yelled at her.

“You’re my problem. Trying to push up on my boyfriend, Bitch!” Not to be outdone, Amber got into the other woman’s face.

“I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about!”

Amber rolled her eyes. “Oh whatever, everyone knows you’re a fucking gold digging whore.”

Chloe’s jaw dropped before slapping the other woman’s face. Your hand went to your mouth. Wow you really really did have a lot to tell Britt.

Amber not to be outdone, retaliated by doing the same. Everyone watched from the sidelines with shocked expressions as things progressed. Marissa was the only one to come over trying to break it up.

Oh god.

“C’mon, guys! Really?” She stood between them. “Fighting over a man. It’s not worth it.”

“There’s nothing to fight about! Ransom is mine!” Amber pointed at herself.

You were pretty sure your heart was going to beat out of your chest now.

It was Marissa’s turn to react now except she kind of looked like she was malfunctioning as she blinked way too many times in one second. “What?” For a minute she kept her cool, clenching her jaw.

Then she grabbed a ball throwing it at Amber’s stomach. “What the fuck!” 

“I’m dating Ransom!”

Boom.

There it was.

Finally.

You stood up trying to get out of dodge as hell was unleashed. Chloe threw a water bottle hitting you in the back, making you fall as Vida also unsuccessfully tried to run.

The wind had been knocked out of you, but you could hear the three smacks that they’d given each other before getting up. They were fucking animals. How good is this guy’s dick for them to be acting like this.

Instead Vida tried to break it up like Marissa had done, but it didn’t really work as Marissa pushed the refreshments table into the four of you before tripping over one of the towels that had fallen and landed on your stomach. 

The three of them tried fighting on top of the two of you when you grabbed the whistle around Vida’s neck to blow into it. The harsh shriek penetrated the air, making them cover their ears. “He’s cheating on you and instead of taking it out on him, you’re beating the shit out of each other!” You yelled.

“Miss L/N!” Harrington walked in red in the face.

Oh shit.

--

You were going to have a giant water bottle shaped bruise tomorrow. Maybe you could write a thank you note to Chloe for that one. Or for all of the various bruises that were given to you by Marissa. At least, Amber hadn’t done any damage to anyone, but them.

You’d been told to clean up this mess as Vida was able to go nurse her wounds. Could you sue? Was that possible? Sue this club and the three of them. Cuz fuck this hurt.

Harrington had chewed you out pretty hard. Of course he’d come in at the right time which must have made him think you had something to do with it even if you’d just been caught in the crossfire. Maybe your mom had a point. It wasn’t all that bad to pack up and move from place to place. Except instead of doing it over men, you could have like a jobs theme or something.

You’d just lifted up the table that had flipped over during the scuffle when Andy came in with a whistle. “Damn. I heard it was bad, but nothing could have prepared me for this.” He looked around with his eyebrows raised. 

“Yeah, it was pretty great.” You sighed puffing out your cheeks.

“What the hell even happened?” He asked, cringing as he saw the cracked mirror that looked a moments away from shattering. 

“Chloe, Amber, and Marissa happened,” you replied, getting down to start gathering the bottles.

“Harrington must have been pissed.”

You laughed. “He was. His face was so red.”

“Did that little vein in his forehead pop out?” He asked with a smirk, raising his eyebrow.

You nodded. “Oh yeah. Looked like his head was going to explode.”

Andy laughed. “Damn. I would have paid to see that.”

“Yeah,” you shrugged, “well I would have paid to not get hit with a full water bottle.”

“No! They did that?”

You nodded. “Yup. I’m going to have one hell of a bruise tomorrow.”

He shook his head, but before he could say anything the three women were escorted into the room with a security guard. There arms crossed and somehow perfect. How the hell did they manage to fix themselves first.

“I better get back.” He half-smiled. “Try not to get caught up in any trouble.”

“I’ll try.”

Security had left for some fucking reason which caused the three to do the expected as they took a seat on their mats which had remained on the floor. You were pretty sure you were about to witness round two, planning an escape plan out of the room this time.

“So,” Amber broke the silence, “I talked to Ransom.” She smirked. “He said he felt bad for you because you’re clearly jealous that we have something special.” She put her hand over her heart. “Something that doesn’t need a label because it’s-”

“Our own unspoken bond,” Chloe cut her off with her eyes narrowed as she rattled off that part of Amber’s speech.

“And,” Marissa took over, “I just love how secure you are and it hurts to hear you question it.”

“Because you’re the only girl for me!” The three of them finished in unison.

The three different expressions on their face was interesting. Amber looked like she was ready to fight someone all over again, while Marissa looked like she was one wrong move from crying, and Chloe looked like she was ready to murder.

Amber clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “He really said the same shit to all of us.” She looked like she was in disbelief. Like she’d been punched in the gut. Or possibly hit in the back with a water bottle. Or maybe smacked in the stomach with a yoga ball.

Chloe huffed. “Okay, so what? He gives me the same lines he gives you guys and then hooks up with m-” she started in on a rant until Marissa cut her off.

She shook her head waving her hands to stop her from talking. “Wait, what? You hooked up with him in between that time?” Marissa asked with an eyebrow raised.

“It was in his car!”

Amber guffawed. “Like a fucking high schooler during homecoming?”

“As if that makes it better?” Marissa laughed sarcastically.

Chloe glared at the other women with her lips puckered. “We share an unspoken bond,” she retorted. “Besides weren’t you all oh yeah baby I’ll wear that set you like, like two hours ago?”

“Oh, I’m sorry that I have sex in a bed like a normal adult,” she argued back.

Amber coughed. “Boring.”

You didn’t mean for that snort to come out, but it did. Then their attention snapped to you. Three very intense eyes were on you. “Excuse you?” Amber challenged you, her head tilted to the side.

You cleared your throat as you picked up the balls. “Sorry.” 

“If you have something to say, say it,” she pressed. God she looked angry. Not that you could really blame her. If you were in her position you’d probably be ready to go off at any little thing. Of course you didn’t want her going off on you again.

You opened your mouth to say something before closing your mouth again and second guessing it. “You know what. No it’s none of my business,” you replied. You didn’t need to get mixed up in their drama again.

“Just say it,” this time it was Marissa who was trying to get it out of you. Chloe wasn’t saying anything, but you could tell she was daring for you to say something.

You licked your lips before groaning. “Okay, ummm,” you took a deep breath, “does he always call you pet names? You know. Baby, sweetheart, honey.” You rattled off. “Yeah it’s not out of affection.It’s so he doesn’t mix up your names. And, he’s all about that unspoken bond or something special, but never ever about a relationship.  And, then he'll make this whole arrangement feel like it's your idea so feel guilty that he cheated because this is something he really wanted.”

Amber scoffed throwing her head back. “Oh my god! You’re dating Ransom, too.”

“No. He doesn’t mess around with the help,” Chloe said.

You raised your eyebrows. “Okay that was rude, but no. I’m not. I’ve just dealt with someone like him.”

Marissa pursed her lips, looking down at the ground now. “He does always make me feel guilty,” she reflected.

“I guess I feel like if a guy was making me feel like that, I’d-”

Amber cut you off, rolling her eyes. “Yeah you’d break up with him blah, blah, blah.”

Chloe scoffed. “As if he wouldn’t get a new girlfriend in like five seconds.”

“Which is why I wasn’t going to say that. If it were me dealing with a man like him, I’d get even.” You shrugged, finally picking up the last bottle of Evian which had rolled over to the other side of the room.

“Wait, who are you?” Chloe asked.

Before you could answer, Harrington had stomped back in right as the mirror shattered. The three women stood up screaming from the noise as you covered your mouth. Yeah wonderful timing.

“Y/N!” He yelled. “Get your shit and get out. You’re fired.”

You weren’t really shocked. At least your last day was memorable. Normally you would have went in there to clean things up. Except it didn’t feel worth it. You’d been caught up in enough fights for the day and al you wanted was to pop open a bottle of wine and drink until you puked.

The three of them only watched as you walked out. As if this wasn’t their fault. You could always get another job, but it still felt shitty. Unlike Amber and Marissa you didn’t have rich parents to fall back on. While Chloe also had her deceased husband’s fortune to get her through. Why were they even doing all of this over a man like Ransom. They could have anyone they wanted.

You hated job hunting. It was so stressful and annoying. You were surprised you’d even landed this gig. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, though. At least you wouldn’t have to deal with Harrington.

“I can’t believe he’s letting you go.” Britt shook her head.

“I know.” You sighed. “It wasn’t even my fault.”

She shrugged. “It’s not like you told Ransom to be a serial cheater.”

“Is it bad that I almost feel bad for them?” You didn’t want to. All of them could have left him today and find new boyfriends in an hour and yet no one deserved what Ransom was doing.

“Don’t forget to text me, okay? If you need anything I’m so there.”

You smiled softly. “Thank you.”

One of the security guards walked in ready to escort you out. The two of you rolled your eyes. “Alright, we’ll talk later. I need you to tell me everything.”

“I will.”

As you were walking out Ransom was talking to some girl at the front desk. You glared at him, not that he noticed. Not like he was paying attention anyway because apparently Ransom didn’t care about the help. 

Fuck that guy.

When you’d finally gotten to your apartment, you showered and changed just wanting to wash the day away. The soreness had started to settle into your muscles. 

You tried watching TV with your glass of wine in hand, but all that did was make you think about the impending doom of not having a job. So you found yourself doing what you normally did when things were shitty. 

You’d gotten lost in the soft blues so easily as your brush sweeped against the canvas. You weren’t really sure what you were going for, but at least you felt a little better.

As you took a step back to see what was missing there as a knock on the door. You groaned going to look through the peephole and your jaw dropped seeing Amber on the other side. 

[pregnant-piggy]

Secret Summer - part I

George Weasley x reader

Words: 7600+

Warnings: none

A/N: Ah, I want the summer so bad. This is my first George fic and I fell in love with him. I know this one’s long but the next one is shorter. Oh and happy pride month, my loves! 

---------------------------------------------------------------

Summer had always been your favourite season. The sun and heat were not your enemy. You loved tanning at the beach and diving into the cold water afterwards. Eating ice-cream three times a day, reading a book in the shadow of a tree and staying up late to look at the stars. The late, hot nights were your favourite.

The only downside to summer was the break from Hogwarts and more specifically the break from your friends. Of course you would try to meet with them, but it was hard to find a moment that everyone was available. A lot of your friends went away on vacation to countries far away and when they got back, you were gone with your family.

Nothing was any different this summer, except one thing. Last year you had missed your friends, this year you missed your boyfriend.

You and George had been together for five months now and you had never been away from him for so long. At Hogwarts you were always around him, in class, going on dates or just studying together. Now he was home and so were you. It killed you. Your parents had decided to go on a holiday with just the two of them and you were supposed to go to your aunt and uncle.

Now that was something you were not looking forward to. Your uncle and aunt were... different from you. They were very strict, always following the rules. And of course it wouldn't just be your aunt and uncle, they also had children. Three. Three little, snitching children. The oldest one was eight years younger than you, so there was not much to bond over.

However, everything would change the day before your parents’ departure. You were packing your bags for your stay with your family when your mother called you downstairs.

‘What's the matter?’ you asked when you entered the living room.

Your father was sitting on the couch browsing through a book called Ten Things To Know When Travelling Through Canada. As an answer to your question he gestured to the kitchen where your mom was busy making dinner.

‘An owl arrived for you,’ you mother said and she pointed at an old brown owl. Around its leg a letter was tied. You tried to untie the letter without hurting the owl but the owl didn't even seem to notice you were touching it.

‘Who is it from?’ your mother asked while stirring in a pan.

‘George,’ you answered.

‘Ooh, what did he write?’

Your mom knew of your relationship with George. As soon as you came home for the summer, you couldn't help but tell her. She was really excited for you and with every owl that came from George she wanted to know what he had written.

‘I remember when your dad used to write me such things,’ she had sighed when George had sent you a letter saying how much he missed you in the first week of the vacation.

You quickly read the letter and a smile broke on your face.

‘He is asking if I can spend the summer at the Burrow,’ you answered your mother's question.

Your mother dropped her spoon and clapped her hands excited. She began to dance around the kitchen. Her squeaks made your dad come into the kitchen, looking suspicious from his wife to you.

‘What is going on?’ he asked.

‘Our daughter is spending her summer with her boyfriend!’ Your mother sing-sang and pulled you into a hug.

‘Mom!’ you giggled and tried to free yourself from her embrace.

Your father looked at your mother and tilted his head.

‘What about Margaret and John? They are expecting (Y/N).’

‘Oh, I'm sure they will understand,’ your mother said and you sent her a thankful smile; she knew how much you hated staying at your aunt and uncle's.

Your father said nothing else for dinner and also kept his mouth when you sat with your parents in the living room. The TV was on and even though your father was staring at it, you knew he was having an inner debate. He knew that you didn't like to spend with his brother’s family and if he let you go, you would have a much happier summer. But then you would be staying with your boyfriend.

It was not like you were actually waiting for your father's approval. You were going anyway, whether he wanted it or not.

‘Dad, it won't be much of a difference than the time we spent at Hogwarts for the past half year,’ you pointed out to your father. ‘And his whole family is there.’

That seemed to do the trick because before you went to bed your dad told you that he would drop you off at the Burrow when he and your mom left for their trip.

- -- -

The next morning was hectic. Now you knew you were going to your boyfriend you had to make some changes to the clothes you were bringing. Your mother helped you pick out some stuff.

When you were packed and ready to close your bag your mom slyly slipped a pack of condoms in it. But she failed to hide it from you.

‘Mom! What?’

‘Oh, come on! You're staying at your boyfriend!’

‘And his family!’ you pointed out. ‘They don't even know George and I are dating. They just think we're friends.’

‘Oh,’ your mother said and she sat down next to you on your bed. ‘You didn't tell me.’

‘It's nothing,’ you shrugged. ‘Actually it is kind of exciting, isn't it?’ you added with a small smile.

Your mother kissed you on your head and closed up your bag.

‘Don't tell your father, he’ll have a heart attack,’ she said before taking the bag and walking downstairs.

- -- -

The ride to the Burrow took forever. It was still early and not many people were awake yet. The roads were almost completely deserted.

The song on the radio didn't reach to you and neither did the conversation of your parents. The trees on the side of the road flashed by and your mind dozed off to the last day of school.

It had been the hottest day of the year and everyone was outside looking for some shade. Some seventh year Hufflepuffs had charmed the greenhouses so that it was cooler there. They had only let a few people in and you and your friends belonged to those people. The sun had shone bright on the glass roofs and lit up the plants around you. The morning you spent with your friends but the afternoon was reserved for George. He had wanted to show you something. He took you to the furthest edge of the school grounds. You had never been there before and was surprised with what you found. There, far beyond Hagrid's hut was a small pond. The sun was reflected by the water and all around the edge of the pond there were pink and blue flowers. You had spent the rest of the day there with George and returned late, almost too late for dinner.

A smile appeared on your face as you thought back of that day. You couldn't wait to see George, though it would be hard not to kiss him in front of his whole family.

After an hour your father drove his car in front of the Burrow. Nervously he looked at his watch. This had not been his plan. He had planned to be at the airport by now.

‘You only have to drop me off,’ you reassured him. ‘Say hi to Mr and Mrs Weasley and that's it.’

Apparently the sound of the car had aroused the Weasley household because Mrs Weasley was walking towards you, followed by Ginny and Ron.

‘(Y/N)! Good to see you! I am happy you could make it on such a short notice!’

Mrs Weasley embraced you and then turned to your parents. You let them talk and said hello to Ginny and Ron.

This wasn't your first time at the Burrow. You had been there quite few times now, but every time you stepped foot on the Weasley's property you were amazed by their house. It was completely different from any house you had ever been in and that’s why you loved it so much.

You said goodbye to your parents and wished them a happy and safe trip. You waved them goodbye until you couldn't see the car anymore and then turned to the house.

‘Fred and George are still in bed,’ Mrs Weasley said while she began with breakfast. ‘Ron, go wake up your brothers! Have you eaten yet, dear?’

‘Oh, yes. I had a quick breakfast before I left,’ you answered and watched Ron ran up the stairs to wake the twins.

‘Do you want something?’ Mrs Weasley asked. She was busy with four pans at the same time and you saw eggs, bacon and sausages.

‘Just tea, Mrs Weasley.’

Mrs Weasley pointed with her wand at the kettle and the water started to heat.

You chatted with Ginny about how her vacation had been so far and you discovered that she, just as you, missed her friends. They were all away for the summer.

‘I'm lucky to have you here now,’ Ginny said and you smiled at her. The age difference between you and her had never been an issue. You got along very well with Ginny.

Ron came back down followed by Fred and George. When you met eyes with George you felt butterflies in your stomach. He sat down next to you at table and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

‘I didn't know you would be here so early,’ he admitted, suppressing a yawn.

Under the table his hand found yours and he squeezed it. You hummed softly as a reaction and from the corner of your eye you could see the smile on your boyfriend's face.

Meanwhile Mrs Weasley had finished breakfast and with her wand she placed the plates on table. She gave you a cup of tea.

During breakfast stories of the vacation so far were being exchanged until the conversation was interrupted with Mr Weasley entering the kitchen.

‘(Y/N), good to see you!’ the man exclaimed when he saw you. ‘George has begged us for the past two weeks to invite you!’

Next to you, George's face turned red. Fred laughed into his plate with eggs and his twin kicked him under the table.

Fred was the only Weasley that knew about you and George. Hiding something this big from your twin brother is impossible. You knew that it would be a tough vacation with Fred's dubble-meaning jokes. They had been there at Hogwarts too and you were surprised not more people knew about George and you.

 - -- - 

‘I missed you,’ George said after he checked the door. He was showing you your room, you were staying in Bill's old room, that had been turned into a guest room, but actually just wanted to be alone with you.

‘I missed you too,’ you replied and placed a soft kiss on George's lips. His hands slid to your back and he pulled you closer. You wrapped your arms around the boy you had missed so much these past weeks.

‘So you haven't told them yet?’ you asked after parting. George laughed a bit nervous.

‘No, I'm sorry,’ he said against your skin.

‘No need to apologise, babe,’ you said and placed a small kiss on his nose. ‘We'll tell whenever we are ready. Until then we just have to be careful.’

And like it was planned, Fred burst through the door. You and George quickly let go of each other and Fred laughed at your shocked faces.

‘You're not gonna keep this a secret longer than a week,’ Fred grinned. George threw a pillow at his brother, who ducked away letting the pillow fall on the ground with a thud.

- -- -

You spent most of the day with Ginny. She had claimed you at breakfast and you didn't want to disappoint her. Besides, you would have the whole vacation to spend with George, one day less wouldn't hurt.

Majority of the day was spent outside in the hot sun. The activities included teasing the gnomes and playing board games in the grass. Mrs Weasley brought you lunch halfway through the day and Ron joined you and Ginny in a game of exploding snap. Fred and George were nowhere to be seen. You slyly asked Ron about them but he said he hadn't seen them.

When it got colder you went back inside. The sun had shone brightly and you could already see the light tan lines on your legs.

After a short shower it was time for dinner. Mrs Weasley had done her best to create the best welcome-dinner you had ever seen. She made all the things you liked and even more.

‘We have to celebrate your stay here!’ Mr Weasley said when you sat down at the table and a sheepish smile grew on your face.

As you started your dinner, conversation quickly changed to plans for the rest of the summer break. You listened mostly; you had nothing to add. You did find out that Harry and Hermione would arrive in two days and would, just as you, spend the rest of their vacation at the Burrow.

‘Harry will sleep with Ron and Hermione with Ginny,’ Mrs Weasley explained.

‘Why not with (Y/N)?’ Fred asked and you could see the mischievous glint in his eyes. ‘She's got much space in her room. Not like she has someone to share it with.’

There it was, a joke that made you want to sink into the ground. George's face turned red and he kicked his brother under the table. But his family didn't understand the joke. They didn't even notice it. Molly just went on to explain that Hermione would be perfectly fine in Ginny's room.

‘Fred is just worried he won't be able to visit Hermione like that,’ you teased Fred. He turned red and his brows frowned; he would take revenge.

Fred was not the only one to react to your joke. Mrs Weasley frowned curious and Ginny chuckled into her chicken. But the most remarkable reaction was from Ron. He had choked on his food and his face was as red as his tomatoes.

‘Wha- what do you mean?’ he asked you in between coughs.

‘Nothing,’ you laughed and patted his back. ‘I'm just kidding.’

Over the table you shot a look to George who shrugged. Was it possible that Ron was jealous at your lie?

You had watched him and Hermione over the past years whenever you were in the same room as them and you had to admit that there was chemistry. But when you asked George about it he said that Ron always denied he had feelings for Hermione, or anyone. Maybe that was not the truth.

Without any more jokes that people could misinterpret dinner finished. You offered to help with the dishes but Mrs Weasley pointed out that you were on vacation here and told Fred to do the dishes.

‘I'm on vacation too!’ he sputtered but his mother already left the room. You laughed and that delivered you an angry glare and a hit with the dishcloth.

- -- -

In your pyjama shorts and sweater you lied in bed. The sun had set a while ago already but you couldn't fall asleep. You had left the curtains open and was staring at the night sky. The little, white dots shone luminous on the dark blue canvas.

Above you the floor squeaked. Someone must have left their bed. You listened to the sound of the soft footsteps that disappeared quickly. A shiver ran over your spine. You knew you were safe but still that feeling of slight fear filled your head. There is nothing to be afraid of, you said to yourself. It was probably just someone who had to go to the bathroom or maybe it was that stupid ghost.

But the feeling didn't decrease as you now heard footsteps on the floor your bedroom was on. And they got louder and louder. You sat up in bed and your hands clasped the bedspread.

The handle of your door went down to reveal a dark silhouette. Your eyes were focused on the figure and you didn't move.

‘(Y/N)?’ the dark figure whispered and you recognised George's voice. ‘Are you awake?’

You relaxed and sighed as you reached for the light next to your bed. It popped on and revealed George in his pyjamas.

Apparently the scared look was still on your face because George said: ‘Are you alright?’

‘Yes, you just scared the living crap out of me,’ you said and turned your face into a smile.

George hurried over to your bed and sat down. He cupped your face with his hands and placed a kiss on your nose.

‘I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake anyone. Maybe I should've warned you.’

‘Yeah, maybe you should have,’ you chuckled and let George kiss you. ‘Now to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?’

‘I missed you.’

‘You just saw me two hours ago!’

‘I know.’

‘How have you survived the past two weeks?’ you asked giggling.

‘Barely,’ George breathed in your ear.

His hands slipped from your face to the bottom of your sweater, pulling it over your head to reveal a tank top. In the small light you could see the surprise on his face, but he recollected himself and again reached for the hem of your top. This time nothing was covering your naked chest as he pulled your tank top over your head.

At the sight of you half-naked in his hands, George moaned softly. You could feel the excitement rushing though your body when you pulled the boy closer kissing him passionately. You had missed him. You had missed this.

The night was filled with moans and giggles, so soft no one else in the house heard them. And when you fell asleep, peacefully in the arms of the boy you loved, you mentally made a note to thank your mother for her addition to packing your suitcase.

- -- -

The bed was empty when you woke up the next morning. You knew George had to wake up in his own bed to not raise suspicions but it still made you feel sad.

Silently you got dressed, letting the impressions of last night wonder in your head. In a daze you walked down to the living room. There, Ginny was sitting on the couch in front of the fire, still in her pyjamas, looking just as tired as you. You sat down next to her and said nothing. Together you watched Mr Weasley get ready for his work with the help from his wife.

‘See you tonight, girls!’ he said before stepping into the fire saying ‘Ministry of Magic' and disappearing.

Ginny went upstairs to change and Molly gave you a cup of tea. She looked at with piercing eyes and for a minute you were afraid she had heard you and George. That she knew everything and you had to spend the rest of your summer with your stupid aunt and uncle.

But Mrs Weasley said nothing and walked away, leaving you alone in the living room. You stared at your tea, a bit shocked by your own paranoia.

Before you could finish your tea, Fred entered the room. He sat down opposite of you with a smug smile on his face. You rolled your eyes at him. Of course he knew about last night, but some part of you had hoped that George had managed to escape his room without his twin noticing.

‘Fun night?’ Fred asked and you shot him a dark look but you couldn't answer because Ginny walked in.

She looked a bit more awake now she had changed and probably freshened up. Still the bags under her were clearly visible.

‘Didn't sleep much?’ you asked.

‘No,’ Ginny yawned, like your question reminded her of how little sleep she got. ‘Probably because we did so much yesterday.’

‘Hey, that's funny! (Y/N) didn't sleep much last night either!’ Fred exclaimed.

‘How do you know that?’ Ginny shot back at him, despite her lack of sleep still sharp as always.

‘I heard-' Fred started but you cut him off.

‘I came across him on my way to the bathroom.’ You gave Fred another angry glare and smiled at Ginny hoping she wouldn't notice you were lying.

‘Okay,’ she said and changed the subject of the conversation. ‘What do you want to do today?’

‘I dunno,’ Fred mumbled sinking into his chair. ‘We could play some Quidditch, we don't have even numbers though, maybe (Y/N) can be the referee.’

‘I'm fine with that,’ you said, knowing that your Quidditch skills count for half a person, if not a quarter.

- -- -

After breakfast you and the Weasleys walked to the open field behind the house. The morning sun was already shining radiant and the five minute walk left everyone sweating.

Two hours of Quidditch later everyone was melting away under the heat and the game was stopped. You walked back to the Burrow to find some shade under one of the trees that surrounded the house. Fred disappeared into the house and came back with bottles lemonade kept cold in a bucket filled with ice cold water.

The lemonade was quickly finished and when Ron grabbed the last bottle, Fred took the bucket and emptied it over your head.

Though the cold water was a refreshing and actually quite nice, you quickly turned around and started to cast spells on Fred, wetting him with water jets.

Your attention was on Fred but from the corner of your eyes you could see George looking at you. Or better said, at your shirt. The water had not only made your head and hair wet, it had left you completely soaked. Your shirt was sticking at your body and you were aware of it showing your bra in a not-so-concealing way.

Fred had fled to the house and Ron and Ginny had followed him afraid of also getting wet if they stayed any longer. You were left alone with George and he was not even trying to hide his looks by now.

After quickly looking around and seeing no one he took two steps to stand in front of you, lifted you and pushed you with your back against the tree. His mouth caught yours and his hands squeezed your thighs. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer.

God, you loved everything about this boy. His kiss tasted like lemon and toffees and after a while his mouth opened and his tongue slid into your mouth.

Now, you were only vaguely aware of your surroundings. Anyone could have stood next to you and you wouldn't have noticed. All you could focus on were George's hands and his lips.

After what felt like a way too short time, you had to break apart to both catch your breath. You lowered your legs but stayed locked between your boyfriend and the tree. The bulge in George's pants could be felt through your own shorts and you captured his lips in a sweet kiss.

This moment could have lasted forever if it was up to you, but unfortunately Mrs Weasley's voice broke the comfortable silence. You were hidden behind the tree and she could not see you but at the sound of her voice George took a step back. His face expression changed so fast you were afraid someone had actually caught you but when you looked around the tree you only saw Mrs Weasley in the door frame far away.

You turned back to George but he was already walking towards the house. You ran after him, shirt still sticking to your body and your shorts wet and uncomfortable to walk in.

‘What happened to you?’ Mrs Weasley asked when you stepped foot into the kitchen through the backdoor.

‘Fred and I had a water fight,’ you said and smiled to show her there was nothing to worry about. ‘It'll dry.'

Mrs Weasley pointed her wand at you and you felt your clothes dry. You thanked her and sat down at the dining table. On it there were sandwiches, the reason Molly had called you inside.

You looked around to find George but he had disappeared. Maybe to freshen up?

You spent the rest of the afternoon in the backyard, with your attention in a book. Ron and Fred were playing with a ball, throwing it back an forth. Mrs Weasley was working in the part of the garden that wasn't terrorised by the gnomes.

After a few hours in the sun, you felt like your skin was burning off your body and you decided to go inside. You hadn't seen George since before lunch and you were wondering what he was up to.

‘George? Are you in here?’ you asked and knocked on the door of the twins' bedroom.

‘Yeah.’

The door opened and George came to your sight. He let you in and you sat on his bed.

The floor of the room was scattered with laundry and papers. Just like his dorm at Hogwarts. But here the walls were bright green instead of the dark red of the Gryffindor Tower.

‘Are you alright?’ you asked trying not to sound too worried.

‘Yeah, I'm fine,’ George answered and he sat down next to you. His hand quickly found your hip and he pulled you closer. You rested your head on his shoulder.

‘Okay, you just disappeared and I was wondering if I did something wrong,’ you admitted.

George chuckled. ‘Believe me, you did nothing wrong. I just needed a break from my family, that's all.’

You nodded understanding; you loved the Weasleys but they were a lot to take. Always around and in for a talk. It was nice, but if you wanted some time alone it was not.

‘You want me to leave?’ you asked and already got up but George put his arms around you and pulled you closer to him.

‘You're not going anywhere,’ he whispered in your ear.

 - -- -

‘Do you really have to go?’

George wrapped the sheets over you and placed a kiss on your forehead, in a way only he could. In the dark you could see the regret in his eyes. He didn't want to leave you, but he was, just as you, scared that someone would find him in your room in the morning.

‘It's only-' you looked at the clock on your nightstand ‘-five,’ you grumbled.

‘(Y/N), if I don't leave now, I'll never. I don't want them to find out like that,’ George said, referring to his family.

He got up and walked to your door. You sighed but didn't ask further; you knew this was no discussion. George made his point and the conversation was over.

‘I love you,’ you whispered in the dark.

‘Love you too,’ was the answer before the door closed.

With closed eyes you listened to the footsteps that walked back upstairs. You heard a squeak when George stepped into his bed and then everything got silent again.

But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't fall asleep anymore. You tried everything: meditation, counting sheep, just closing your eyes and thinking about happy things. Nothing worked.

The sun came up and lit up your floor. The curtains were open; you hadn't closed them last night. Usually you slept with the curtains open. At night you loved to gaze at the stars from your bed and you liked waking up with the sun shining on your face. However, not when it was this early.

‘I thought this was vacation,’ you grumbled to yourself when the rooster crowed.

When after ten minutes you really couldn't lie in bed anymore you got up. While you got dressed your eyes fell on an empty piece of parchment on the desk. Your parents must have arrived at their destination by now, maybe you should write them. Merlin knows how long it would take before your letter got to them.

Hesitantly you started to write. What should you tell? You knew your mother probably would want every juicy detail, but your father would read the letter too and you didn't want to give him a heart attack.

After you finishing your letter, the house was not so silent anymore. Mr Weasleys wouldn't go to work today. Instead he would pick up Harry at his aunt and uncle's. Hermione would arrive somewhere in the morning.

‘(Y/N), good morning!’

As you walked into the kitchen, you were greeted by Mr Weasley and George. They were both sitting at the dining table. Arthur was reading the newspaper and George was staring outside.

‘You're up early!’ Mr Weasley exclaimed when you sat down opposite of George.

‘Yeah, I couldn't sleep anymore.’

‘Is it that rooster? I have tried everything to make him stop, but he just won't,’ Mr Weasley said and looked over his shoulder outside.

‘No, it wasn't the rooster,’ you mumbled and over the table you felt two eyes on you.

Mr Weasley turned back to his newspaper and you dared to look at George. He shot you a worried look and mouthed: ‘me?’ You shook your head and averted your eyes from him.

Yes, actually it was because of him, but he didn't need to know that.

‘There is a post office in the village, right?’ you asked.

‘Yes, but you can use our owl,’ Mr Weasley said.

‘No, my father doesn't appreciate owls. Or birds in general,’ you added and thought back of that one time your friend had sent a letter with a dove that wouldn't leave your father alone. ‘I think I'll post it the muggle-way.’

‘I'm sure George will take you,’ Mr Weasley said, already turning back to his newspaper. ‘Right, George?’

‘Yes, of course,’ George quickly said when he saw his father's look.

- -- -

‘I'm sorry about this morning,’ George said and bumped your shoulder.

‘It's fine,’ you mumbled; you didn't feel like talking about it now.

George put his arm around your shoulder after looking around suspiciously.

You held the letter tight in your hand and thought about what you wrote. Even though you had written only about innocent things to save your father from any harm, you had thanked your mother for helping you pack. She would get the meaning behind it, while your father just would think it was a sweet compliment.

The village was still asleep and only a few people were awake. The baker, the postman and a few people on their way to work. On your way to the post office you stopped for coffee and muffins at the bakery.

‘Sweets for my sweet,’ George said when the baker gave him the muffins and you cringed at the cheesy words.

Around people he didn't personally know, George had no problem showing his affection. But once he was around familiar faces that attitude changed and the most affectionate thing he would do was his hand on your back, after making sure no one could see it. At first you hadn't mind it, you had thought it was cute and exciting to have a secret relationship. But as the months passed by, and George still didn't show his affection in public, you feared that maybe you were something he was ashamed of. You had never talked about it with him and just brushed it off every time the thought entered your mind. But now, with his family, it suddenly came closer than ever before and you couldn't ignore the feeling anymore.

A bell tinkled when you opened the door of the post office. It was an old building on the outside and the inside matched the exterior. With wood on the floor and the ceiling the room was dark and felt cramped. Behind the counter stood an old woman.

‘George! How are you?’ the woman crowed.

‘Good, Mrs Mavisson,’ George answered. ‘How are you?’

‘Well, my knees hurt more every day and Craig-' she gestured with her head to the door opening behind her ‘-claims we should modernise our system.’ You bowed forward a little bit and saw a mature man in the shadows. ‘Who is this beautiful lady you brought with you?’

A blush crept on your face and you stared at your hands that were wrapped around your letter.

‘This is (Y/N),’ George said and placed his hand on your shoulder. ‘She's my girlfriend.’

Your cheeks turned even more red and you looked up at George. His cheeks were pink but he looked confident.

‘Well, isn't that wonderful!’ the old woman exclaimed and she took your hand. ‘Look at you, you're gorgeous! Craig! CRAIG!’

The man from the shadow stepped in the light. He was younger than the woman. Young enough to be her son.

‘Craig, this is (Y/N). George's girlfriend!’

Craig was way less impressed than his mother. He glanced at you, conjured a forced smile on his face at George and stepped back in to the darkness.

‘Oh, don't mind him, sweetie,’ Mrs Mavisson said and she waved her hand. ‘What can I do for you?’

You gave her the letter for your parents and explained where they were. It was quickly taken care of and after a jovial goodbye, you stepped outside the office into the sun.

‘Mrs Mavisson has worked her entire life in that store. The only way she'll leave is in her coffin,’ George chuckled and he took your hand.

Maybe you were wrong, but it felt like a weight had been lifted of George's shoulders. On the way back to the Burrow he talked happily and smiled, a lot more than this morning.

However, when the Burrow came in sight he let go of your hand and his smile faded. You immediately missed the convivial boy but you understood it too. Though George would never admit it to someone, home was not his favourite place. It was the place where his mother would scold at him for not doing his best at school or for not cleaning his room. The place where he was one of the Weasleys, the other twin. He was not George, he was a son.

‘If you liked this morning, we can do it more often,’ you suggested.

‘That would be nice.’

‘It would.’

A small smile returned on George's face and this time it stayed there, even when he stepped inside the kitchen and was surrounded by the whole family.

- -- -

The fire was burning and the heat spread through the whole living room. How wonderful the weather had been the past few days, so bad was it now. Though you didn't mind, there was something cosy about the rain and thunder outside while you sat in a sweater and woollen socks in front of the fire.

Ron and Harry were playing chess, with the help from Fred and George, on the floor at your feet. Mrs Weasley was darning socks in a rocking chair in the back of the room and Mr Weasley had disappeared in his garage. Hermione, Ginny and you were sitting on the couches talking.

‘Did you know Pansy is dating that Ravenclaw with the big eyebrows?’ Ginny asked.

‘But I thought she and Malfoy were a thing!’ you said.

‘No, I thought so too, but Luna said that the boy had confirmed it the last day of school.’

‘How awful must it be to date Pansy,’ Hermione sighed and you agreed with her.

‘Speaking of dating,’ Ginny started and you felt like she had been wanting to tell this for a long time. ‘I heard our sweet George is dating someone.’

A high pitched sound escaped your mouth but you hid in behind a cough. George looked up when he heard his name, not knowing what Ginny had said. Fred however had been following your conversation and was staring at you with an expression you didn't trust.

‘What's with me?’ George asked and you tried to sign to him not to. But he didn't see you and now turned to Ginny.

‘I heard you're dating someone,’ Ginny repeated.

George's eyes widened and he turned red. ‘I'm not dating anyone,’ he muttered and stared at the ground.

‘Come on! We're family! Tell us!’

‘There is nothing to tell.’

George got up and rapidly left the room. You felt bad for him, but figured it would only add to the rumours if you went after him now.

Fred got up too and walked after his brother. When he passed you he whispered, but so soft no one else heard him: ‘Don't tell.’

Nothing in Fred's behaviour showed he had said that and you almost thought you had imagined it, but before he disappeared you made eye contact with Fred and nodded.

Maybe Fred wasn't such a joker when it came to you and George after all.

‘I don't care what he says,’ Ginny said after Fred had gone upstairs too. ‘Amy saw him with someone on the last day of school. She didn't see who, though.’

‘Maybe it was just Fred with a wig,’ you joked and hoped Ginny would drop the subject.

‘Well, he must write her,’ Ron said from his position on the floor. He had beaten Harry at chess and was now involved in the conversation. ‘What if we got one of his letters?’

‘Or one of hers?’

You smiled at their plan that was doomed to fail.

The clock stroke eleven and Mrs Weasley, who had fallen asleep, scared up. She sent everyone to bed, but not before scolding at them for letting her fall asleep.

- -- -

You wanted to lie down in your bed, but there was already someone in it.

‘George!’ you whisper-yelled and George put his hand on your mouth.

‘I thought this was easier than waiting for everyone to be asleep,’ he explained.

You lied down next to him and breathed in his scent. The rain was slamming down on the window and muted the other sounds of the house. Everyone once in a while the room lit up and five seconds later the house shook from the thunder.

In silence you lied thinking about the conversation earlier in the living room. You were tired but you wanted to talk to your boyfriend. At night was usually when you and him caught up on each other's day. You had missed talking to him. Of course you had missed the romance, but in the two weeks at home you had realised how big of a deal George was in your life. At Hogwarts he was always around and you could talk to him any moment of the day. It was at home that you realised how much those little moments meant to you.

‘We don't have to talk,’ George said like he could read your mind.

You smiled sheepishly and buried your face in his neck. There was something about doing that that was comforting. You felt like the whole world disappeared for a moment when you hid in George's neck.

His hand was caressing your hair while you dozed off. The thunderstorm was still going on but you didn't even hear it anymore.

- -- -

A loud banging on your door woke you up. You slowly opened your eyes. That hollow feeling of loneliness filled your heart when you reached for the empty space next to you.

The banging continued and you felt the sound in your chest.

‘Who's there?’ you asked and the door opened.

Ginny was standing in your room her face glowing with excitement. She ran to you and dropped herself on your bed. Hermione appeared as well and she closed the door.

‘Gin, it's seven in the morning!’ you groaned and rubbed your eyes.

‘No time to be tired!’ Ginny exclaimed and she sat up straight. Only now you noticed the letter in her hand. She was waving her arms but you could read to who is was written.

‘Oh no, Ginny!’

‘It must be her! Who else would write him?’

‘His friends?!’ you asked and lifted yourself up.

‘I already woke up Harry and Ron,’ Ginny spoke, ignoring your comment. ‘They should be here any minute.’

And not long after she said that the two boys entered your room. The room was not big and with five people there was not a lot of space left. Ron sat down at the foot end of the bed and Hermione on the edge of it. Harry kept standing.

‘Ginny, what is so important you have to wake us this early?’ Ron grumbled at his sister.

She held up the letter and waved it in front of Ron's face.

‘She wrote him! I waited for the mail this morning and this letter was addressed to George!’

Ron's expression showed exactly how you felt.

‘Ginny, it could be one of his friends. And it is definitely not worth getting up for this damn early!’ he said.

But Ginny didn't listen to him. She ripped open the letter with excitement on her face. That didn't last long though. As she read more of the letter her face turned less happy and more into a frown. After she finished it she dropped her hands and stared at it.

‘And?’ Harry asked, but Ginny didn't answered. Ron took the letter from her hand and searched for the sender.

‘Lee,’ Ron said plain. ‘It's a letter from Lee. Not his girlfriend.’

‘It could have been his girlfriend,’ Ginny said with a low voice.

‘But it's not. Nice job, Gin,’ Ron said and got up. He left the room with Harry. Hermione placed her hand on Ginny's shoulder.

‘Don't listen to him. You are right; it could have been his girlfriend. Right, (Y/N)?’

‘Yes,’ you lied and put the letter back in the envelope. With your wand you closed it and gave it back to Ginny. ‘You might want to put his back before he notices.’

Ginny nodded and left your room swiftly. Hermione stared at you and you felt like you knew what was coming.

‘It's you, isn't it?’ she asked and squeezed her eyes.

‘Yeah,’ you smiled. ‘But please don't tell anyone. George- I mean, we haven't really told anyone, so...’

Hermione just smiled back at you and left you alone. Your groaned and fell back down on your bed. Great way to start a day.

- -- -

Your mood didn't get any better as the day went on. Ron apparently decided not to communicate with Ginny in any way but shooting her angry glares and George was silent the whole day, sitting in the corner of the room with a book in his hand. However, not once did you see him turn his page. And on top of it all, it was still raining.

You wanted to talk to him, tell him that there was nothing to worry about. Ginny would get bored by it within a few days and everything would turn back to normal.

However you couldn't talk to your boyfriend until the end of the afternoon. Mrs Weasley had asked her son to go to the store because she had forgotten something and you had offered to join, under the excuse of wanting some fresh air.

So now you were walking with George under an umbrella, arms hooked as soon as the Burrow was out of sight.

‘I love the smell of rain,’ you said. ‘And how everything looks right after it has rained.’

‘Hmm,’ George hummed and you looked at him.

‘Are you alright? Please, don't feel bad or forced to do anything because of Ginny's comment. Don't worry, she'll get sick of it in a few days.’

‘I know. I just don't think I am ready to tell them,’ George confessed.

‘Can I ask why?’ you asked insecure.

‘You saw how Ginny reacted! I can't tell them anything without it being blowed up. And then it is you!’

You held still and looked at George sharply.

‘What do you mean?’ Your voice was demanding and not as soft anymore.

‘They would freak out! (Y/N), I have been hiding our relationship for seven months! If I told them now they would- they would- I don't know! They would laugh at me, at us.’

George's words hurt you. You were standing in front of him with tears welling up in the corners of your eyes. It didn't matter, it shouldn't matter what his family thought. But now it just sounded like you were not enough for his family.

‘So you are just never going to tell them?’ you snorted. ‘I don't care what they think George, you know that. I love you and that is all that matters.’

‘I love you too but-'

‘No, apparently not as much I do. Guess I am an idiot for not noticing after all this time.’

You stepped away from George into the rain. For seconds you stared at each other. The cold rain drops wet your shirt but you didn't care. You were focused on George's eyes and tried to read the expression in them. But you saw nothing. His eyes were empty.

The hot tears mixed with the cold rain on your face. The dark sky was lit up by a strike of lightening and thunder immediately followed. You turned around and started to walk away, back to the Burrow, half hoping George would run after you, the other half of you wanting to be left alone.

And he let you go.

[adultswim2021]

Ephemera Week (2002)

It’s still ephemera week, and we’re still talking about John K. I said most of my piece on him in the last post, so don’t expect there to go full bore on this one, except I forgot to say he’s animation’s Jerry Lewis. His current stuff is basically Hardly Working. I will not elaborate, because I’m being mean to you0.

MARCH SPECIALS!

In March, Adult Swim advertised a run of one-off specials. A couple of them were already covered because they fell under the parameters of “Adult Swim original production”. They were Welcome to Eltingville (March 3rd) and Saddle Rash (March 24th).

Day in the Life of Ranger Smith | March 10th 2002 - 11:00 PM (Originally aired on Cartoon Network in 1999)

This was one of two specials commissioned by Cartoon Network re-imagining Yogi Bear. The artist what took this assignment was John K, who I REEEAALLY skewered in last night’s post, didn’t I?

This is about Ranger Smith harassing animals and writing them up for violating park rules, basically. It’s short! I remember liking it at the time! Okay, maybe I’m going crazy here, but I distinctly remembered a part at the end where Ranger Smith is in bed and he solemnly confides in the viewer that the noises of wilderness give him nightmares and then it just ends. Did I imagine this? It does end with him in bed, but this doesn’t happen in the version on YouTube (which is from the Adult Swim airing). Huh.

Boo Boo Runs Wild | March 10th 2002 - 11:15PM (Originally aired on Cartoon Network in 1999)

Boo Boo Runs Wild was another one of these stand-alone Yogi Bear John K specials. This one was 30 minutes long. The Ranger Smith short was a brief 7 minutes; I’m guessing they aired a couple Capt. Lingers or something to fill time.

This one is about Boo Boo reverting to his feral nature and causing BIIIIG problems! This special would later go on to be kind of a weird trolling thing Adult Swim would do where they aired it every Sunday for a few months, even promoting regularly. This was like 2006, I think? They’d also air it as part of April Fools. Is that Adult Swim admitting this special sorta sucks? Does it sorta suck? Again, I liked these at the time and REFUSED to actively rewatch these for this write-up. Sorry.

The Jetsons: Father and Son Day/The Best Son | March 10th, 2002 11:45PM (Originally aired on CartoonNetwork.com in 2001) Our John K rock block ends with a pair of Jetsons shorts, Father and Son Day and The Best Son respectively. This is kinda the same deal as his Yogi Bear shorts, but these were exclusive for Cartoon Network’s website. I remember watching them on there. They are as bad as you’d expect late-period John K internet shorts to be, though the second short is a superior version of Spielberg’s A.I. (in that it’s shorter).

Night of the Living Doo | March 17th, 2002 - 11:00PM (originally aired on Cartoon Network, 2001)

Night of the Living Doo originally aired as wraparound segments during a Halloween Scooby Doo marathon on Cartoon Network. It’s kinda like an episode of the Scooby Doo Movies, which shoehorned in a guest star each episode. Suddenly my man Dick Van Dyke be running a carnival and shit. That’s the Scooby Doo Movies. At the end of the night they played all the wraparound segments in one uninterrupted sitting, so the viewer could appreciate it as an actual full-on Scooby Doo episode. Night of the Living Doo functioned both as an extension of that series as well as a parody. The guests were Gary Coleman, David Cross, and the very cool band Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. It was all very self-deprecating and had jokes about the absurdity of Scooby Doo tropes. Well trod territory by this point, sure. But this is better than most irreverent Scooby Doo things. It didn’t hurt that I was a HUGE David Cross fan when this aired. Is this where I tell the stupid-ass story about getting mad at a message board guy for not liking David Cross? Sure. Okay, yeah. When this aired on Adult Swim a guy on Kon’s (hi Kon) message board posted something about not finding David Cross funny, shrugging that he didn’t get the hype. He cited this and his appearances in the Men in Black movies, and nothing else as proof for his lackluster comedy skills. It’s kinda like deeming Eddie Murphy as a bad comedian after watching Dr. Doolittle.

The point of this special is that David Cross is a little wooden and stilted, like in the old Scooby Doo Movies episodes. This poster revealed that he never heard David Cross’s stand-up or seen Mr. Show, explaining “I don’t watch puppet shows” A response that still baffles me to this day. Why Mr. Show isn’t a-- WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT? I’m not even sure if there was EVER a puppet on Mr. Show*. David wasn’t even a guest on Crank Yankers at this point! SO WHAT THE FUCK? To this day whenever mutual pals from that board get together and watch a movie or show and a puppet appears we make a joke about this guy. Good story? No? Fuck you.

Other stuff about this show: When it originally aired on Cartoon Network it was a little bit longer than the Adult Swim version. There’s a missing scene. I think it’s David trying to play an improv game with a mummy or something. At one point I had it on tape, but I’m not sure I kept it. Sorry.

*sorry to be coy here, but I do know of at least one puppet on Mr. Show, episode 204 there is brief footage of Grass Valley Greg putting on a puppet show for his staff. This CAN’T be the source of the confusion, can it? It’s literally like, 5 seconds.

MAIL BAG

This’ll teach me to skip a day cuz this really piled up. Thanks, guys. I love all the attention. It is my favorite thing.

I never really saw oblongs as something for the hot topic set. They had Invader Zim and Squee for that kind of shit. Oblongs feel like it was always directly targeting me: the shut-in comedy nerd who would appreciate will ferrell and the sklars being in a thing. Since they ended up doing the exact same show with Janeane Garofalo and David Cross a few years later it seems like that was the goal.

Yeah, I guess that also makes sense. There were a few elements that were kinda gothy but this show was mostly just Angus Oblong ahem, clowning around (puckering mouth to stifle laughter like Chris Elliott in Cabin Boy)

What are your thoughts on the other adult animation blocks of the past couple decades? Spike's notriously failed attempt. Animation Domination. Apparently Syfy has had their own going?

Spike was irredeemably bad. People think this shit is easy. Animation Domination is sorta legit, but it’s anchored by mostly crap. That ADHD thing was kinda good and underrated. Is that still going on? I wish I were more diligent about watching/recording that. Some of them bumpers were good. Also, we mustn’t forget MTV’s oddities. They were kinda the first cable network to court Adult Animation as their thing. They deserve some kind of credit for that. I’m sure they’re doing fine.

I'm having a nice big thing of spaghetti for dinner with some chicken parm? Jealous?

I’ve never had those are they good

What does Ephemera mean? Why is this happenening? Why aren't you talking about 10 Home Movies episodes in a row like a good boy.

In dude time, my friend. In dude time

What would be your Adult Swim dream come true?

Having a complete archive of Adult Swim blocks on a harddrive like Don Giller has with his Letterman archive. Even the commercials and shit. I know of a guy who was a regular taper of the entire block from night 1 but I’m not sure he kept up with it when they went nightly. I should ask him if he still has his tapes, huh?

That or they bring back the BUILD YOUR OWN DVD thing but with blu-rays and you can make your own bumps, which was a different thing they had. THEY SHOULD COMBINE THEM. And you can master it in SD if you wanna put 10 hours of stuff on a disk.

All this is archival bullshit dork shit. Real answer: Clay Croker comes back from the dead and every block is hosted by Space Ghost. That’d be it, right?

If anyone has genuine/better answers please write in with them I wanna keep this conversation going. ‘kay?

McDonalds reintroduces limited edition Adult Swim Toys. You can get them all (plus an extra to keep wrapped for collectors purposes) but you have to spend 20 dollars at McDonalds to grab them all. This is the last day of the promotion. You have to personally eat everything you buy but you can take it home. You can only buy one of each food item. What are you getting? I know the longer the mailbag message is the quicker you are inclined to give some glib remark but indulge this one for once.

Oh wow. I’m literally going to take this seriously. I’d roll in as breakfast was ending. Get myself a McChicken Biscuit and a Bacon Egg & Cheese McGriddle, hashbrowns and a Coffee. Gobble that knob on down. Wipe my mouth with a napkin. It’s lunchtime, bitch. Big Mac, Large Fries, BIG ass soda. You feel me, dude? Lemme tally up. Okay, probably need more. 20 piece nugget. Take that home cuz I’m probably gonna have to save some for dinner. That’s probably 20 bucks right there, especially if you go to the McDonalds on Burnside where all the menu items are more expensive because of the amount of security they have to hire (did you know that different McDonalds have different prices even in the same city? I didn’t until very recently). If this somehow doesn’t satisfy my price point I get a Vanilla shake and eat it anally DURING my BIG D squirt sesh, so it’ll spend as little time in my body as possible. Wait, do I get something for this? I might do this tomorrow just cuz. It sounds like a funky thing to do

Do you think you'll open an Adult Swim mueseum at some point? You seem to be the only steward of its history.

Unless I’m hired to by a large corporation, probably not. Also I don’t think I actually have much in the way of merch other than DVDs. I stopped being a DVD completist at some point around Freaknick The Musical. Oh, I never EVER bought a Robot Chicken DVD, EVER. I literally had a nightmare once that one appeared in my collection.

Hey! Please keep us abreast any time you put more of your garbage on eBay. Maybe you can put your wedding dress on there, you big girl.

Fucking sexist/trasphobic behavior.

Check out my eBay auctions I got season 18 of NCIS up there and some other things :)

The Ripping Friends blow chunks. I don't care if a rapist or the opposite of a rapist (a virgin who volunteers, lol) made it. It sucks a high hard one like when Ozzy banged the Cheiftan's Wife in that Black Sabbath TV Funhouse cartoon. Tell me more.

Tell you more?

Name one rap song you tolerate lol. You can't say anything by weird al or marky mark.

I guess I like the song the pest sings from the motion picture The Pest

Are there any good podcasts on adult swim?

The official one hosted by Matt Harrigan is good, but I’ve only bounced around on it. I don’t know if there’s any formal recap ones. I simply don’t know!

HE'S GIVING HIGH HARD ONE TO CHEIFTAN'S WIFE? UH OH!

Buddy, you are BANNED for LIFE from my MAIL BAG! You drive me CRAZY!

[fangirl-writes]

Enough

Young!Roger Taylor x Reader

Queen is my latest obsession

Warning(s): Domestic fight, violence (Roger punches a wall), swearing. Angst. I used a gay slur in there once (f*ggot). It’s not an important part of the story, but a warning anyhow because I know some people aren’t comfortable with the word.

Notes: Angsty stuff here people. I hope I pulled on those heartstrings, but I added a happy ending so all’s well. Also I have no idea how record players work but I wish I did. Also I don’t think cheating is ever okay, but we all know Roger did it and I wanted to try something a little eloquent and angsty.

Summary: You and Roger get into a fight because you want to know why you aren't enough.

Roger threw his keys onto the table. “You’re being ridiculous, Y/N!”

“I am not! Roger why won’t you just give me an answer!”

“Because I shouldn’t have to! We’ve had this conversation before I don’t know why you’re getting so upset about this!”

“And I don’t know why you won’t just answer me!”

“I’ve already told you-”

“You haven’t told me anything!”

“I’ve told you enough!”

“Which isn’t anything!”

“Why the hell does this matter so fucking much to you!”

“Because I want to know, Roger!”

“It shouldn’t matter!”

“But it does matter!”

“Just to you!”

“Yeah because you won’t fucking tell me anything!”

Roger turned with an angry shout, flinging his fist into the wall behind him. The sound as the drywall cracked made you scream and Roger turned to you, hand still curled into a now bloody fist, the action not lessening his anger.

The silence that filled the air was suffocating as you stood there staring in horror at the look on his face, the blood coating his knuckles, and the gaping hole that was now in the wall behind him.

Roger walked passed you towards the door and gave it an angry slam on his way out.

You broke down, dropping to the floor and sobbing. You were still angry, still hurt, and still scared.

After about an hour had passed you finally got the strength to get off the floor and make your way to the phone.

You dialed the number that you knew by heart and waited as it rang in the otherwise quiet house.

“Hello?”

“Brian?”

“Y/N?” He said, hearing the heartbreak in your voice. “What’s wrong? Has something happened? Did Roger-”

“We had a fight. He walked out and hasn’t been back for a while and I’m starting to worry about him.”

“You’ve had a fight and you’re worried about him?”

You sniffed, wiping at your wet cheeks.

“God, Y/N, he doesn’t deserve you.”

“Would- would you just find him? I-I don’t think he wants to see me but he punched the wall before he left and his hand was all bloody-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, love. It’s not your fault he blew a gasket, okay?”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you, and felt even more tears falling down your cheeks.

“Y/N?”

You hummed in response, your throat tight.

“We’ll bring him home.”

That was the last thing he said before hanging up and you choked out another sob, letting the phone drop from your hand and swing from the cord as you found yourself on the floor again, back against the wall as you sobbed into your knees.

Thinking back on it now, it had been your fault the fight had happened.

It had been about Roger’s endless groupies you knew he fucked every time he was on tour.

You’d talked about it back when you first started dating and you’d told him you were okay with it. You’d talked about it with your friends and family who’d been concerned about it and you’d told them you were fine with it. The other Queen members had asked you about it, offering to watch him for you while on tour, but you’d told them it didn’t bother you.

Hell, eventually you’d convinced yourself you were fine with it.

It was fine. I’m fine. What he does when I’m not around is fine because at the end of the day he always comes home to me. I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine.

Then why. Why. Why did it take that stupid tabloid article to finally make you realize that you weren’t.

You don’t even know what compelled you to pick up the magazine. Usually you avoided picking up anything that even remotely mentioned the boys because you knew most of it would be slander. Calling Freddie a faggot or Roger a slut or John an absent husband. You hated those articles.

So then why? You asked yourself again. Why did you pick up that stupid tabloid?

Maybe it was because it was one of the few that mentioned you on the cover? Maybe it was because you were bored and wanted something to flip through? You didn’t remember and it didn’t matter now because the moment your eyes landed on that article it was over. And, at the moment, it felt like your stupidest decision.

Roger Taylor, Queen’s Sex Machine, Back At It Again.

After deciding his current girlfriend, Y/N L/N, wasn’t enough for the famous rock star, Roger Taylor was seen acting more than friendly with various groupies during his last tour. Our sources were not able to find a reaction from Y/N, making us suspect that she either doesn’t know about his sexual escapades, ignores them, or doesn’t care. How long will their relationship last if Y/N can’t fulfill Roger’s sexual needs? And how long will it take Roger to come to the conclusion he’s had enough of her?

Enough.

That was the word that kept playing back for you in your head. ‘Deciding his current girlfriend wasn’t enough’, ‘come to the conclusion he’s had enough.’

Why weren’t you enough?

You didn’t know how long you sat there, no tears left to cry and a whole in your heart. You felt numb. Whatever anger or sadness you’d been holding onto before was gone and replaced with an ache in your chest that wouldn’t go away.

It took a knock at the door to finally let all the emotions come flooding back to you.

Was that Brian? What if he didn’t find Roger? What if he did? Were you ready to face him again? Would he still be mad? Of course he’d still be mad. What would you say? Would you apologize? No, you don’t have anything to apologize for. Then what? If he was still mad, he certainly wasn’t going to apologize, that much you knew. What if he did apologize? ‘I’m sorry I caused you the worry, I’ll change how I live my life because you want me to’? No, that’s not what you wanted, you didn’t want him to change because of your outburst. What if he broke up with you? What if he kicked you out? You didn’t think you could stand going back to your family or friends and their pitying looks and ‘I told you so’s. ‘That’s what you get for dating a rock star’ they’d say. He finally decided you weren’t enough. Enough. Enough. Enough.

The knocking came again, this time harder and more persistent.

You rose from your spot on the floor and made your way to the door, every scenario going through your head as the knocking repeated.

“Y/N, darling, if you don’t open this door right now I’m going to break it down.”

You couldn’t help the small smile that made it’s way to your lips as you turned the knob and opened the door.

“I’d like to see you try, Freddie,”

Freddie Mercury stood on the other side of the door, a sad smile making its way to his lips.

“Brian told me what happened.”

The smile you tried to keep on fell at his words and soon you were in tears again, wrapped in Freddie’s arms.

“Oh, darling, oh, it’s okay, it’s okay.” He soothed, stroking your hair as you cried into his shoulder. “I saw that stupid article. I thought something like this might happen.”

You weren’t sure whether his words made you feel better or worse.

He brought you into the living room and sat you down on the couch, wrapping you in a blanket before leaving your side to approach the record player sitting on a shelf near by.

You and Roger spent many hours listening to Jimi Hendrix or The Beatles, sometimes even Led Zeppelin if you could talk him into it. He even danced with you to ‘Since I've Been Loving You’ on your anniversary.

You smiled as he flipped through the albums before deciding on one of their own: A Night At The Opera. The one that, arguably, put them on the map.

You closed your eyes as ‘Death on Two Legs’ started playing softly. It wasn’t their most relaxing song, but their music had a way of calming you down. Freddie knew this after seeing you in the studio with them multiple times, absolutely relaxed in the creative environment.

He occupied the seat next to you again, pulling you to his chest as an offer to snuggle into him.

You accepted the offer and smiled softly as you listened to the angry and bitter song. You remembered them telling you it was based on their nasty former manager, Norman Sheffield.

“His loss,” You’d told them back then. “He’ll be forever known as the man who lost Queen.”

“That’s exactly what I said!” Freddie had exclaimed. “It was like a movie scene! You should’ve been there, Y/N. It was a perfect exit.”

“Yeah and then we threw a brick through his window.” Roger added with a smug grin.

“Not our brightest idea.” Brian said.

“Never said any of you were the smartest lot.”

They’d shoved you around for that comment with laughter and good natured retorts.

The memory made you smile, the bad thoughts from before being driven away from your head as you remembered and snuggled against your favorite piano player as his voice drifted through the air.

You wondered if the song would’ve made you angrier if you didn’t know what it was really about and didn’t have the memory attached to it. You supposed it would have but you could only giggle at the lyrics now. It was bitter and mean, as Freddie once called it, but it was a great song.

‘Lazing On A Sunday Afternoon’ came next and you released a breath at the softer tone. The song reminding you of Alice in Wonderland and Singing in the Rain, films that you had watched as a kid. It was a short song, but it did wonders for your mood with its playful and happy tune.

It wasn’t until ‘I’m In Love With My Car’ came on that you realized he’d put the record on the B-Side.

You sat up from Freddie, a frown on your face, mood brought down again. 

“Change it.” You commanded.

“Sorry, dear, too comfortable here.” He replied, a smirk on his face.

You bit your lip, near to tears again, as Roger’s song played along in the background. The song he’d fought himself into a cupboard for and that you relentlessly teased him about.

“Freddie, please, I-I don’t-”

A knock interrupted your sentence and Freddie practically launched himself over the couch to get it.

The limber bastard.

You followed him reluctantly, knowing who would be on the other side of that door. The man singing a song about his car.

Freddie pulled open the door to John Deacon who was stood with a frown on his face that disappeared into concern as he noticed you enter the room.

He moved to hug you, which you happily accepted. Hugging Freddie and Deacy was a comforting feeling that you desperately needed.

“Why’s this song playing?” He wondered aloud, more confused than anything.

The comment made you laugh.

“Y/N.”

You pulled away from John to face Brian who was giving you a similar look. It wasn’t pity, but rather a sort of concern. It warmed your heart to think that they cared for you so much.

Were you enough in their eyes?

“We found him walking. Had to take him to the hospital for his hand, but-”

“Is he still angry?”

“No.” Brian said, catching you by surprise. “I don’t think he’s been angry for a while.”

Your eyes swelled with tears as Brian motioned for Roger to come inside.

If you were in a better mood, you would have laughed. Roger Taylor waiting for permission to go inside his own home.

He walked passed Brian, avoiding everyone’s eyes and staring at his shoes.

The song changed to ‘You’re My Best Friend’ but nobody paid any attention to the music.

Freddie had an annoyed expression on his face and opened his mouth to say something until Deacy put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. Silently telling him it wasn’t appropriate and that they’d lectured him enough for one night.

“Happy at Home” the song chimed, normally earning a snarky comment from Roger, but it seemed he wasn’t listening or at least not caring about the line for once.

“Come on, boys, I think we better leave these two alone.” Brian spoke up after a minute of silence. “Fred, I’ll take you home.”

Freddie seemed reluctant to leave. Whether that was because he was concerned or because he wanted to witness the drama of it all was unknown, but he followed the other two band members out the door.

You stood in silence for another minute as the song in the background faded into 39. A song you loved.

It seemed to be the kick Roger needed to finally look up at you with his gorgeous blue eyes.

“Hi,” He said.

“Hi...” You replied.

“I’m sor-”

“No.” You shook your head. “No, Roger, please don’t apologize, I don’t want an apology for something I started. No, Rog, all I want is an answer.”

“An answer for what?”

You blinked back tears as you asked the dreaded question again. “Why aren’t I enough?”

Enough. Enough. Enough.

Roger’s eyes swelled up with his own tears and he shook his head with a small laugh.

“Ridiculous, really. You’ve always been enough, Y/N. Always.”

“Then why?” You said, tears streaming freely down your cheeks again. You felt like you’d cried an ocean. “Why sleep with all those groupies on tour? Am I not pleasing you enough? Is that it?”

“No!” Roger exclaimed. “God no, it’s perfect! You’re perfect.”

“Then why?” you asked again, voice raising before dropping to a murmur as you hung your head. “Why?”

Roger took your face in his hands. “Please, don’t cry, love.”

You shook your head, palms digging into your eyes to try to get rid of the tears.

He hugged you to his chest and you felt your heart ache once again because, as mad as you were at him, you longed for his comfort.

“I think I do it because- fuck it, I know I do it because I’m afraid.” He said.

You sniffed. Afraid? Afraid of what?

“I’m afraid that one day you’ll you realize what a twat I am and I’ll come home and you won’t be there. I do it because I’m afraid of getting attached to you, even though I know I already have, because what if you leave me one day? What if you decide that I’m not enough for you?”

You looked up at him. “You're afraid of that?”

Roger feigned laughter, not meeting your gaze. “Yeah, the bloody rock star has feelings. Ha ha.”

“No.” You pull his gaze to you again, feeling about a thousand emotions at once. “Roger, I’ve spent the entire day wondering why I wasn’t enough for you and you’re here telling me that you did all this shit because you think you’re not enough for me? Me?”

You took a deep breath, trying not to cry again.

“I love you, Roger Taylor. And you will always be more than enough for me. No matter how many groupies you sleep with or how many times you hurt me or whatever the fuck those fucking magazines say about you because I love you more than I hate you and sometimes I really fucking hate you.”

Roger smiled sadly at you. “I love you more, Y/N L/N, and I don’t deserve you, not at all. You have always been enough for me and I promise that I will try harder to show you that instead of being the dickhead that keeps breaking your heart.”

You sniffed, burying your face in his chest again.

“Always.” He whispered into the top of your head. “You are always gonna be enough for me.”

“Write your letters in the sand for the day I take your hand. In the land that our grandchildren knew.”

You snuggled into Roger’s chest as ‘39 came to a close, his hand squeezing yours in a sort of reassurance that he wasn’t going anywhere again.

“All your letters in the sand cannot heal me like your hand. For my life. Still ahead. Pity me.”

“I love you,”

It was a whisper, barely above his breath but you heard it and you savored the sound of his confession in the sudden silence.

Roger pulled away from you, much to your displeasure and confusion and walked into the living room, making a beeline for the record player. You followed him, hoping not to look too much like a lost puppy.

He flipped the record and adjusted the needle.

He held out his hand as ‘Love of My Life’ started playing.

You’d have cried if you had any tears left.

You took it and he pulled you into a sloppy sort of waltz that made you laugh. The boy could sing, but when it came to dancing he was no John Deacon. You leaned your head on his chest, taking in his scent (cigarette smoke, scotch, and the smell of his lingering cologne).

“I really am sorry. For everything. I’m a terrible boyfriend.”

“I know. And I’m not going to forgive you, not for a while, maybe not ever, but we can move past it. Just hold me, yeah?”

And he did. He held you for as long as he could.

[michaelgrayyy]

One of us (8)

Michael Gray x Reader/ Peaky Blinders x Reader

Master list - https://michaelgrayyy.tumblr.com/masterlist

Aberama hangs out on the side of the car as we near our destination, the further into the countryside the more Michael seemed to sulk. You keep looking over at him feeling his eyes on you as you sit beside Bonnie facing him while Bonnie faces Polly. Polly gets out first followed by Bonnie, who turns to help you down and then you turn back to help Michael but decide against it seeing his expression. You step out onto the woodland floor looking around, it made you miss your cottage, you hoped you’d be able to get back there when this was over, whenever that was. 

“No! No, fucking way” you hear Michael complain from behind you and Polly meets your eyes, you stifle a giggle quickly covering your mouth and keeping your back to him. 

“You ever eaten Hedgehog Michael?” Aberama asks seeing his reaction and you can’t contain the giggle that leaves you. You look back at Michael who sends you a glare before carrying on.

“I’m getting back in this car” he states pulling a cigarette out to smoke 

“Michael, you’re number two on Luca Changretta’s hit list” she looks at me. “Well maybe three” she debates before carrying on. 

“Yeah and I’ll stay in a hotel, we’ll stay in a hotel right, y/n?” he says trying to get you to side with him but you just raise your hands showing him you aren’t getting involved.

“You stay in a hotel, I’ll know where you are, so will the people who take you there, so will the people who work in the hotel, and hotels don’t move around. They don’t even know where they’ll be tomorrow, they follow the Patrin and the crows.” Polly argues back to him, silencing him. He knows she's right he just hates to admit it. 

“And should anyone come for you, Michael, the Palmers and the Boswells will put up a fair fight” Aberama adds as Polly gets Michael medicine.

“Why are they talking as if you aren't coming with me, y/n?” he asks with a clenched jaw. Oh boy! 

“I’ve got unfinished business with the Italians”

“And I don’t?” he snaps back instantly pissing you off. 

“Right now, you don't.” you reply as Polly continues to go through his medicine looking between you both. 

“Your painkiller..” Polly says passing them to Bonnie.

“The healers up there, will heal you much quicker” 

“It's true, pretty sure I’d be dead without them healing me after getting me from Luca” I add trying to reassure him but Michael just looks over at you annoyed. 

“Fucking witches, the lot of them” Michael grumbles earning a chuckle of Aberama who shakes his head at him.

“Show some respect, Mr. Gray. They’ve agreed to welcome you on account of your blood” Bonnie replies to him, you shake you head at Michael as he glares back at Bonnie not responding. You walk away getting yourself in the carriage, with the help of the men at the steps, having heard enough of Michaels complaining. Soon Bonnie joins you and not long after Michael joins you as well, you blow a kiss to Polly as the door shuts and she smirks.

“Will you quit sulking. These people are risking their lives to protect you” you break the silence after so long having had enough of his moping. Bonnie looks over before quickly looking back out the window guessing this is heading for an argument. 

“Why are you coming with us if you aren’t staying?” he asks changing the subject.

“Because I thought you’d help you settle in, clearly that was poor judgment on my behalf.” you reply

“How are you going to get back to Small Heath?”

“Bonnie has a boxing match tonight, I’m going” you reply and Michael starts to work his jaw again so you turn the conversation to Bonnie. “You ready for your fight?” you call out to Bonnie who walks back over to sit down with you both.

“Sure am” he replies.

“Have you met Goliath yet?” he nods with a smirk. “Are you worth betting on?”

“Mr. Shelby seems to think so” he replies.

“Honestly, I can’t tell if Tommy is a genius or mad” you state. “But, I reckon you’re a good bet” 

It's not long till the cart is pulled up and Bonnie opens the door, telling you that you’ll need to start making a move back to Small Heath in an hour before he walks off to help the others set up their camp. This is only a temporary camp until they make it to their main base, a part of you felt a bit gutted you wouldn’t get to see it but you needed to get back. You turn round motioning for Michael to come with you as you step outside, he reluctantly follows you both walk over to a fallen tree. He sits down and you slowly lower yourself next to him closing your eyes as you do.

“Still bad isn't it?” he asks watching your movements. 

“I’ve had more fun” you respond. “Look, Michael I know you aren’t happy about this. But, please try and be nice to them, they are part of your heritage whether you like it or not and they are good people. This is better than you being shot again...we’ve already lost John” you plead with him and he softens ever so slightly before sighing.

“Alright, alright. I'll try, but I don’t like this.” he agrees mostly just trying to shut me up but I'll take it. “You and Gold’s son are awfully friendly” he tries to sound nonchalantly about it but fails miserably. 

“He did save my life by getting me away from Luca, that's a good way to become my friend in my book.” you reply with a shrug before looking at him as he looks ahead of him with a hard expression. “Are you jealous?” you ask with a  smirk. 

“It was just a question, y/n” he replies in a clipped tone and your smirk grows into a cocky smile.

“You are!” you exclaim with a little laugh.

“I’m just being cautious is all, not like you who just befriends anyone and everyone” he replies and your smile fades.

“Is there a reason you are trying to provoke an argument every-time you speak to me?” you question running out of patience with his mood. He doesn’t respond just pulls out a cigarette to smoke, he takes a drag before you reach over taking it from his lips and taking a drag yourself. You both let out a sigh as a peaceful quiet settles amongst you both.

“As much as I hate to admit it, I do miss the fresh air” he says breathing in and you laugh watching him puff on the cigarette.

“What were your family like?” you ask him and he pauses before realising you are talking about his adopted family. That’s how you pass the time until you need to leave, Michael tells you about climbing trees and playing games with his little brother, about the pies and cakes his mum would make and how he used to help his father around the house doing jobs like cutting logs and fixing up the sheds. You smile as he talks not seeing this side of him before, part of you wishes he never came back to Polly so he could still be there but then you remember the stories of him blowing up the village wishing well and the priest and you know he would have come sooner or later. 

Bonnie walks over to tell you its time to leave and you nod at him as he stands away so you can speak privately to Michael again, you lean over placing a kiss to him lips, you pull away looking him in the eyes with a serious glare. 

“You stay alive, alright” you tell him

“You too, no running at guns or getting kidnapped. Deal?” he replies and you roll your eyes with a smirk. 

“Deal” you agree as he kisses you quickly again before you get up off the tree walking over to join Bonnie. “Ready” you tell him as he nods.

“We’ve got a short walk until we get to where my father is picking us up, is that okay?” he asks looking at me apologetically. 

“That’s okay” you reply walking alongside him, feeling better for the fresh air. 

///////

Its a few hours later when you walk down the stairs wearing a emerald sparkling dress alongside, Polly, Linda and Lizzie ready for the big fight, Ada also joins as you go try find Finn in the crowd, you try to spot Tommy but he’s nowhere in sight. Looking back where the girls were you see they've also all moved, great, at least you know they’ll be in the toilet as you head that way. You walk in to see  Linda setting out a line beside Polly and Ada at the sinks, while Lizzie is across the other side. 

“Ah, good. Y/n, we’ve been looking for you, Lizzie’s got some news” Polly greets you as you walk in, Ada turns seeing you and smiles brightly at you before noticing your pained movements. 

“I’m pregnant” Lizzie announces.

“Oh, and who’s the father? Have you managed to narrow it down?” Linda comments before taking a line of snow at the same time you let out a little squeal walking over to Ada to give her a hug not being able to resist. She grins at you carefully hugging you back as she raises her eyebrows at you at Linda’s comment. 

“Yes. It's Tommy’s” Lizzie responds and you notice a glass of gin on the counter taking a swig.

“Congratulations. You’ve won the raffle at last” Linda remarks and you ignore her going over to give Lizzie a hug and kiss on the cheek. 

“Congratulations, Lizzie” you say sincerely as Linda rolls her eyes you just glare back at her. Lizzie, Linda and Polly head back in as you stay behind with Ada, she sits on the counter as she asks how you are not having seen you since you were taken by the Italians. 

“It makes you tougher” she says and you nod

“It’s the only thing it can do in this line of life” you reply as she agrees, you pull out a hip-flask of whisky passing it her after you take a swig. She fixes the rest of her make up before heading back out the door, you stay behind gathering yourself, just enjoying the peace and quiet before you have to go anywhere. Taking some of your painkillers alongside the whisky, walking outside ready to carry on watching the fight when you hear a gunshot followed by Tommy yelling in the hallway not far from you. You head off in the direction rushing not caring about the pain in your ribs, you round the corner seeing Polly up ahead being held by Tommy. He looks up noticing you and they both turn.

“What? what's going on?” you manage to say

“Arthurs dead. He’s dead” Tommy says coming over to you

“What no, he's not. Stop this” you say trying to shove past him “HE’S NOT” you yell out trying to hit out to get him away from you. He hold onto you until you stop fighting him, you push back from him walking back. He follows after you.

“Polly, go tell Linda” he shouts back rushing behind you as you run through the halls.  “We need to tell Finn” you call out to him before trying to weave your way through the crowd, its not use everyone is jumping around excited about the win in the ring, Tommy grabs onto you pulling you with him over to Finn. Finn smiles at you both patting Tommy on the back for his win, but Tommy grabs onto him pulling him close to whisper to him, you see his face drop as Tommy pushes him away towards Isiah. Tommy goes over to tell Lizzie before disappearing off again and you try get over to Charlie (old) in the ring beside Aberama and Bonnie but the crowd is too lively. Charlie see’s you struggling through the crowd and jumps out to come help you get through, he gets you to the side of the ring and you look over seeing Polly and Lizzie with a sobbing Linda.

“Arthur’s dead” you say to Charlie who looks at you in confusion before Tommy jumps up into the ring firing a gun in the air. He tells the crowd Arthur is dead before crouching down as he takes a breath, Charlie quickly rushes over up into the ring and you walk over to the girls, Lizzie stands up pulling you into a hug. 

///

The next few days pass by in a blur you find yourself permanently glued to the bar stool in the Garrison, joined mostly by Finn and Isiah. It’s not like your usual drinks where they’d try and pick up girls while you’d dodge the advances of men that didn't realise who you were, no this was just drinking with the intent of numbing it all. You don’t remember how but you some how end up sat in the family home beside a silent Tommy, Ada and Polly waiting for Michael’s arrival. You’re heart breaks even more when they tell you the plan, but you nod having guessed bits off it all along, but not wanting to believe it.You hear him walk in the door and see Polly walk over to greet him but you don’t move, just sat swirling the cup of Tea Ada made you. Micheal walks over to you squeezing your shoulder in comfort as he looks to Tommy. 

“Tommy, I’ve been trying to find the words” Michael says and you get up walking over to the drinks section.

“Don’t. Words don’t work” Polly cuts him off as you pour a glass of whisky. “Micheal we’re in a grave situation. But, Tommy has a plan. Instead of going to Australia you're going to go to New York.”

“Why?” he asks in shock

“Because the company has business to attend to in America” Ada responds, Michael looks over at you and then to Tommy, the only two not to speak to him yet. 

“Will I be coming back?”

“You’re train leaves in an hour Michael.” Tommy breaks the silence. “You made a choice. You knew I was going to be shot and you chose not to tell me” Michael looks over to Polly. 

“I chose my mum” he responds.

“When all this business is over, we’ll all be free to make our own choices” Polly says to him with tears in her eyes, you wipe away some of your own that have managed to slip.

“So is that it?” Michael asks looking at the back of Tommy. 

“You get the train to Liverpool then the SS Monroe. The boat sails tomorrow.” He passes him the tickets “Now you can go”. 

“Y/n?” he looks over at you and you bite your lip.

“Please just go” you plead wiping some more tears. “Please” you croak out and he closes his eyes in regret before turning to leave. 

[highpope]

Silver Keys - Ch. Two

JJ Maybank x oc ? Soulmate AU / Topper x oc

warnings: none, if there ever are let me know? :)

word count: 2k ish

notes: hello hello im back from the dead for one night only. This chapter is from JJ’s point of view. I promise the drama will have been worth all this wait. (hopefully) as always feedback and reposts are encouraged.

There are two other parts! Read them here - Masterlist.

JJ Maybank was never one for soulmates. Coming from a household of two broken people didn’t make him feel like there was hope for him like the universe was created so people could find their other half or their missing piece. Why isn’t a person whole to begin with?

 His parents weren’t soulmates. He didn’t need some magical musical force to tell him that. One questionable decision and nine months later, a blond boy was brought into the world, helpless. JJ tries to give them the benefit of the doubt, they didn’t mean to have a kid. But then his mom left before he could remember what her face looked like. Before he could memorize the sound of her laugh. He resented her for it, leaving him with his dad. JJ’s dad, who selfishly turned the world upside down and told him to walk through walls to make it out the other side. 

JJ never bothered to ask his dad if he had heard the music. He figured if he had ever, it was long gone now. 

Now, he leaned against the wall, a half-empty beer in his hand, surveying the crowd. He had long ago lost his friends and he was starting to wonder why he did this. Go to parties, that is. If he wanted to be drunk he could sit at John B’s and then pass out on the couch. If he wanted to listen to shitty music and watch people lose at beer pong, he could do it with people he liked. Instead, he was in a sea of kooks and faces he vaguely remembered as people he graduated high school with. They were getting too old to pretend like this was still fun like the universe hadn’t already projected the rest of their lives. But again, JJ Maybank was never one for all that universe shit.

The sunlight through the blinds shined into JJ’s eyes, making him groan and throw a pillow over his face. He had slept on the pullout last night, giving Kie the spare room. Pope was either on the floor or sprawled out on one of the recliners, JJ couldn’t remember. He went to check but was matched by a searing headache. Closing his eyes again he noticed the sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Not two seconds later, June was opening the door to the Chateau. She let the screen door close behind her, making a noise loud enough to make JJ want to crawl inside his own body. 

“Good morning, Sunshine,” June said when he had finally made his way to the kitchen.

“It’s too early for that shit.” He squinted. 

She had left a bottle of water and some ibuprofen on the counter and he made a mental note to thank her when he wasn’t feeling like death itself. 

“Hungry? I can do french toast, there’s bread.” 

“Please,” Pope groans (from the recliner) as he rubbed his eyes.

“Tough night?” June asks, starting to bring another water bottle and meds over to the spot next to JJ. He watched as she walked back to the refrigerator, grabbing the half-empty carton of eggs and milk jug. She placed everything on the counter before standing on her tiptoes to grab a bowl. He noticed her shirt rose when she lifted her arms, exposing her stomach. JJ blinks, hard, and then instantly groans, reminded of his headache.

“I'll take that as a yes.”

Pope had since joined them at the table. He seemed to be handling his hangover better than JJ. The two of them talked about last night while JJ tried to piece it all together. 

Just then John B stubbles into the kitchen, his hair sticking up in every direction, “Morning” he mumbles before taking his seat at the kitchen island. Like clockwork, June sets down medicine and a bottle of water, and JB thanks her. 

“Hey, J, where’d you go last night?” John B asks.

“I just came back early,” JJ says truthfully. 

June chimes in, “What? No lucky girl?” he narrows his eyes at her and she winks in response.

JJ clears his throat, “Nah, got all summer for that. Tourons aren’t even here yet.”

“Really?” Pope questioned, “You walked back?” 

“Yeah, pretty sure I talked to Kie before I left,”

As if right on cue, Kiara comes shuffling out of the bedroom. Her eye makeup from last night is smeared and her hair is falling out of the bun on the top of her head. 

“Speak of the devil,” JJ says when she joins them in the kitchen. 

June, again, gets a bottle of water out of her bag and shakes out some ibuprofen from the jar, “Morning sleeping beauty,”

She narrows her eyes in response. No one messed with Kie in the mornings, especially when she was hungover. JJ wouldn’t be surprised if she hissed at them. There was one time they had all spent the night at the chateau and the next morning she was woken up by the rest of them doing something stupid in the yard. JJ could have sworn fire came out of her mouth. It physically hurt to be yelled at by Kiara.

Now, Kie takes the medicine from June and downs half the bottle of water, nods her appreciation, and walks over to the pullout where she rolls over, pulling the blankets over her head, falling back asleep. Safe for now, he thought.  

The five of them had spent the rest of the day at the chateau. The girls had dedicated the afternoon to watching movies in the living room, while JJ, John B, and Pope sat around on the hammocks, swapping stories from last night. John B had allegedly won at flip cup three times, but Pope called bullshit. 

The two of them had left to get some firewood to build a fire and pick up some food. JJ wandered down to the dock, took his shoes off, and stuck his feet in the water. The sun was starting to set and the reflection on the water looked like something out of a movie. He would never admit that to anyone though. He was just about to go back inside when June sat down next to him. 

“Hey,” she started.

“Hey, how’s Kie? She chill out?”

She laughed, “Yeah. You know how she is.”  JJ nodded. He knew.

“You doing okay?” June asks, bumping her shoulder against his. He could feel her eyes on his. 

“Yeah, just. Rough night like you said.” 

She must have accepted that response because she turned her gaze back to the water in front of them. 

“What about you? Survive your birthday dinner, Ju Ju?”

She rolls her eyes, “barely. My aunt pestered my mom all evening. We were seconds away from the table being flipped.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish I was. Happens every time.” 

“I’m sorry,” 

She shrugged before speaking again, “can I tell you something?” 

JJ nodded. 

“I think I heard my soulmate yesterday. Right after you dropped me off. It was the weirdest feeling.”

“Really? How do you know?” JJ’s head was spinning with questions. It’s not like he couldn’t talk to Pope or John B about this, but it was different. They weren’t quite as open as June could be. Or maybe JJ didn’t want to be as open with them. 

“I don’t know. I guess you just do. It’s not even like I knew the song or could even tell you what I thought it sounded like.” She breathed. 

He looked at her now, her face was calm but her eyes were whirling. He could see her formulating her thoughts, trying to wrap her head around what she had heard.

JJ shook his head, “that’s crazy and so fast,”

“Right? I thought so too.” She paused, “J, it was so weird.”

“Good weird?” 

“Yeah, comforting almost.” She was cracking her fingers, something she did when she was nervous. He noticed that she was still wearing the bracelet he had given her in the truck yesterday. He wondered what she thought about the whole soulmate thing. Her parents were still in love, there was no reason for her not to agree. 

“Do you think-” he started, only to be interrupted by Kie yelling at them from the backdoor, “Pizza’s here!” 

“Coming!” June yelled back, pushing herself up and slipping her shoes back on. She reached a hand out to JJ, who was still seated. He took it, even though he didn't need the help and the two of them started back to the rest of their friends.

It had been a week since the pogues had last hung out. JJ had picked up an extra project at the garage and was spending most of his time there. When he wasn’t, he was sleeping in John B’s spare room. But tonight, he was off and everyone was going to the boneyard. 

Almost instantly, JJ pulled out a blunt and his lighter. The sun was in the weird period before it set and was completely dark and the waves were almost louder than the music. Almost. John B and Kiara carried down a few chairs and beach towels to the usual spot just south of where most people congregate. While Pope and June went to get drinks, JJ leaned against a tree, surveying the crowd. It was mostly people they knew from around the island. He recognized a few people from when he used to work at the country club, but the rest were new faces. He caught a girl looking in his direction from across the party. She was short with dark brown hair. He noticed she was alone, too. With one swift nod of his head and a hand through his hair, the girl was already walking over to him.

“Yeah, I really just couldn’t stay in the house any longer, you know?”

JJ nodded his head.

“Anyway, you’re from here?”

“Born and raised,” he replied with a smirk. JJ was trying to pay attention to the conversation, but he wasn’t sure he remembered her name and he definitely couldn’t tell how old she was. Was it Jess? It starts with a J he reassured himself. 

“Are you here with anyone?” Jamie asked.

“Few friends of mine are hanging out over there,” JJ motioned, pointing Jackie in the direction of the pogues. He smiled slightly at all of his friends huddled around a fire. The moment was cut short when JJ noticed Topper and Kelce walking toward them. Almost instantly he got to his feet, muttering an apology to… Jade, and joined the others.

“JJ!” Kie sang when he walked over, clearly the drunkest of the five. She got up from where she was sitting to hug him only to stop short when she noticed the other boys.

“What the hell do you guys want?” She spits. John B stood up slowly.

“Hey, hey,” Topper starts, raising his hands in surrender, “just here to talk,”

“So talk,” Pope said. He was sitting next to June behind the rest of them.

Topper cleared his throat, “June? Can we-” He nodded toward the trees where JJ had just come from. Everyone’s eyes shoot to June who furrows her eyebrows before nodding her head and beginning to get up. Pope stands up with her.

“Look, I just want to have a conversation,” Topper states. 

“It’s fine,” June says, starting to walk off. She 

John B calls out, “You sure?” 

June just nods her head. 

“You better not fucking touch her dude or I swear to-” 

Kie grabs his arm, “JJ,” she urges. June turns her head and gives him a look before walking off with Topper.

tags: @allycat449-blog @ifilwtmfc @sarcasticsagittarius1998

[operationcavill]

Untangled - Part 6

He parks the car outside of her apartment and sighs heavily, “Let’s talk upstairs,” He walks around the front of the car to open her door, looking around with a scowl on his face. Neither of then say a word until they reach the elevator.

Inspired by: Butterflies // Kacey Musgraves

Y/N - Your name

S/N - Sisters name

B/I/L - Brother-in-Law

B/N - Brothers Name

B/F/N - Best Friends Name

Y/N turns her shower on and really looks at herself in the mirror for the first time in hours, “You just got laid, bitch.” By Henry Cavill no less, but what does that even mean? Was he actually that into her? He seems to be but he is an actor. He asked her to lunch, though. And technically, for another date. Did last night actually happen? The hot water feels renewing, refreshing. Should she tell B/F/N? Hell, she wouldn’t even have told her S/N if she hadn’t walk in on them. She can only imagine what was going through her sisters head. Who wouldn’t go nuts if they saw a practically nude man like that? Stepping out, she grabs her phone and decides to text B/F/N.

Y/N: I have something to tell you.

B/F/N: Please do not scare me.

Y/N: It’s nothing bad. I slept with someone last night!

B/F/N: OMG WHO

Y/N: That’s the part I’m having trouble with

B/F/N: What

B/F/N: Jesus Christ, you didn’t sleep with [Your Ex] did you??

Y/N: Bitch. No.

B/F/N: Why are you being so weird then?

Y/N: Because he’s kinda like famous.

B/F/N: Excuse me??

Y/N: You CAN NOT tell anyone ok?

B/F/N: Lmao did you sleep with a superhero or something? What’s with the secret??

Y/N: Funny you should say that 🙃

B/F/N: Ummmm what

Y/N: I may or may not have slept with the guy who plays superman.

B/F/N: Stop it.

Y/N: I did.

B/F/N: Seriously?

Y/N: We’re going to lunch in a little bit.

B/F/N: I’m fucking dying right now.

Y/N: How do you think I feel!?

B/F/N: You gonna give up the deets?

Y/N: I will later. I need to get ready.

B/F/N: bitch 😒

Y/N: You love it 💕

B/F/N: You know waiting on this is gonna kill me

Y/N: I’ll get text you soon!

Henry has a large smile on his face when Y/N arrives, “Hello there,” they share a quick cheek kiss before sitting at a cozy table by the window. They make small talk and Henry takes a picture with a little girl who said that wonder woman was her favorite but he’s second. He was sweet and gentle, he asked for her name and if she’s excited for halloween. He told her to try not to eat too many sweeties, which is much cuter than saying, ‘candy’.

“You’re somethin’ else,” She’s sure her face is going to get stuff in a permanent smile.

His face slightly twists, “Why? What’d I do?”

“You’re kind. You were so sweet to her.” She can practically feel the tug on her ovaries.

The waiter arrives to take their order. He was visibly starstruck and tripped over his words, “It’s so cool that you’re on a date with Geralt!”

She amuses him. “I know. Although, I think I prefer the grey hair.” Once they all have a laugh, the waiter trots off to the kitchen.

“Are you a nerd, Y/N?”

She attempts to be serious, “I’ll show you my Fifth Element miniatures later. How was your little trip?”

He bites his lip, “So, I got some news while back at the hotel,”

“Oh yeah? Anything scandalous?”

He nervously laughs, “I wish. I, uh,  have to go back home for a week to do press.”

“Are you excited to go home for a bit?”

“Yes, and No,” he pushes a fork around and focuses on it, “I love going home, and I like working.”

She senses that there’s something else, “But?”

Henry continues, “But I’ve met a girl in a bar and I wasn’t finished getting to know her,” he wonders how many times he can make her blush, he’s sure it’s never enough.

“Wanna make a deal, Cavill?”

He perks up his eyebrow, “What you offering, Y/L/N?”

“How about, you let me know when you get back and I let you know where to find me.”

He doesn’t hesitate, “Deal.”

The waiter brings their sandwiches and they enjoy their meal while poking each others legs under the table like children. In this moment, he completely forgets who he is. Right now, he’s just Henry. He’s Henry who likes to eat sandwiches with cute woman and talk about his dog and the show he’s been trying to watch for months. He feels good.

Y/N almost chokes on her food laughing at story concerning an unfortunate tongue biting accident that occurred during his first kiss, “What did you do?”

“I jumped and kind of yelled in pain, and I think she cried. She never looked at me again.”

“I’m happy to report my first kiss was not as tragic,” he asks her to go on and she grins, “I was about 14 and there was a boy who would visit his grandma a few times during the summer. I had known him forever, his grandma lived across the street so we’d play together. One day, we were playing spotlight with a bunch of the neighborhood kids and he just kissed me. Kissed me right there beside Mr. Hoffmans car.”

“That’s very cute,” he could get a stomach ache with how sweet she was.

“It was,” She takes a sip of her water, “I have no idea what happened to him, either.”

Henry watches her, a habit he doesn’t plan on breaking, “You wanna go for a walk?”

“If you buy be coffee first,” Y/N and her addiction to warm drinks is what makes this her favorite time of year.

“You got it.” After some deliberation, Henry finally convinces Y/N that he’s paying for her food, and coffee, too.

They begin their stroll around the chilly city, stealing small looks at one another, “So, When do you leave?”

He sighs, “Tomorrow evening,”

“That sounds like an awful time for a flight,” Y/N’s head gravitates towards his shoulder.

“I’m a little used to it now. Leave late on the east coast, arrive in the morning in the UK,”

“Don’t you get tired?” She asks him so genuinely, with so much concern.

“I’m always tired,” Henry gives her a soft chuckle.

Y/N searches his face, “You seem to sleep pretty good to me,”

“There’s an exception, Darling,” Henry can’t help but feel a little bashful.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you, it was nice and your blankets are so soft.”

She giggles and leans into him again for a short side hug, “You’re a cliche that I have no problem with,”

“I am not,” He flicks her nose.

“Wha—!” She flicks his in return, “How very dare you?”

He kisses the tip of her nose and apologizes, “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“You’re lucky you got me coffee,” She pants jokingly after taking a large sip.

“You’re quite the caffeine addict. Late night tea, 16 ounce coffees,”

“What can I say? I’m a starving artist, it was either cigarettes or giant cups of piping hot coffee, I chose the coffee,” she pulls on the collar of his shirt and he’s tempted to kiss her again, but if he kisses her now, he doesn’t know if he can find the will to stop. There’s just something about her.

They decide to circle back around and Y/N pulls out her phone to get a ride, “I’ll take you home, why didn’t you drive today?”

She looks slightly embarrassed, “Oh, my tail light went out the other night and the garage won’t take it until Friday. They ticket you for everything up here, so I didn’t wanna risk it.”

Henry escorts her to the car, politely opening and closing her door. Just a few minutes into the drive Y/N’s phone goes off, “Oh god, it’s my mom.”

He turns the radio down and whispers, “I won’t make peep.”

She answers the phone as if she’s alone and not with a world famous actor, “Hey, mama,”

“Is there something you need to tell me?” There’s no way her sister would have told her anything, even if she threatened to do so. Y/N is taking too long and her mother repeats herself.

“No? What do you mean?” She notices Henry look at her and then look back at the road.

Her mother sighs “The boy who cuts our grass showed me a picture of you with a certain someone.”

“A picture?” If they weren’t already at a stop light, Henry thinks he might have slammed on the breaks.

“Y/N, theres a bunch! He’s kissing your nose and rubbing your leg while you eat a sandwich. Why didn’t you tell me you were seeing someone? And HIM?”

“I’m not,” she collapses onto her couch, “I just met him.”

“Are you lying?” Mothers always know.

The light turns green but he’s still looking at her, as if he’s trying to hear the conversation, “No, mother,” She mouths to him, ‘it’s green,”

But accidentally lets out a, “Oh, sorry, Darling.”

Her mother gasps in disbelief, “You slept with him!”

Her eyes practically fly out of her skull, “What! How—no I did not!”

“He called you ‘Darling’. That’s some sweet talk, I don’t think this is a good idea. You always say you like your privacy.” Her mother always knew what her girls were really up to. Mothers always know.

“I know, ma, but you’re reading way too much into this,” She exhales, “can we talk about this later?”

And just like all mothers, she refuses to let up,“No, how did you even meet him?”

“We were at Benny’s and he was there.”

“Out of all the bars,” She just knows her mom is rolling her eyes.

“He’s kind, fun to talk to.” Henry actually blushes and can’t contain his smile.

“I googled him.” Oh, of course, “He’s 10 years older than you.”

“You’re older than dad.” He tenses, he’s a little familiar with this, and he understands, but Y/N was very grown and very independent. He liked her for her, not her age. Ok, so her being attractive was a plus, but he had no intention of ‘playing’ her.

“I’m one year older than your father, thank you.”

“I’m very aware of my age,” She hated this. It didn’t matter how old Y/N was, she was the baby, the little one, the one protected one in her family.

“Honey, I’m serious.” Mothers.

She knows her mother means well, but can’t a girl live? “Why are y’all so worked up over this? I—,”

“Who’s y’all?”, Y/N spilled the beans, “You said you just met.”

“S/N met him that night I did,” and saw him practically naked the next morning, “and B/I/L...and John.”

“Well, now the whole world knows you’re sleeping with him.”

“I’m not sleeping with him,” He snaps her a look and she gives on in return as a warning to him, he better not make a sound.

“Are you being safe?”

“Oh my god! Yes, I’m being safe!” Henry has to stifle his laughter by covering his mouth.

“Ah-Ha, you are sleeping with him,” Great.

Y/N throws her head back on the headrest, “Jesus, ya’ll are being really intrusive. You know that, right?”

“I’m your mother. It’s my job to worry about you.”

“And I’m fine, Mama.” He finds it endearing that they call her ‘Mama’. It’s sweet and brings out her accent. “Can I call you later?”

She stalls, “I guess, but I’m not done talking about this. It’s not every day your daughter get’s involved with a warlock,”

“It’s a Witcher, Ma, not a warlock.” Henry can’t keep his laugh in this time, causing Y/N to slap his arm.

He clears his throat, “Sorry,”

She can feel her mothers glare through the phone, “I’ll talk to you later, ok? I love you.”

“I love you, too. Bye,” She turn towards him, “Well, we’ve been had.”

“I’m so sorry.” He looks all too apologetic, “I wasn’t thinking about it. I’m sorry.”

While she is nervous, she knows it’s not his fault, “Don’t be sorry. I still had a good date with you, Her phone buzzes for was seems like a dozen times in a row, “Oh,”

Henry’s mood has completely shifted. He already felt as if his feelings for her were escalating too quickly, and now this? It had only been a couple of days, “Don’t look at them.”

She scrunches her nose, “Huh?”

He parks the car outside of her apartment and sighs heavily, “Let’s talk upstairs,” He walks around the front of the car to open her door, looking around with a scowl on his face. Neither of then say a word until they reach the elevator.

She clicks her tongue a few times in hopes that he breaks the silence first, he doesn’t and she finally speaks up, “What did you mean don’t look at them?”

He waits until the doors open to her floor, “Don’t look at those things they tag you in. Some people are cruel for no reason.”

Henry can tell she’s nervous and getting a bit worked up. She’s struggling with the keys and can’t get the door unlocked. She gets so frustrated that she lets out an all too loud, “Fuck!” Her elderly neighbor, Mrs. Timmons, opens her door to see what causes the ruckus, “Sorry, Mrs. Timmons.” The woman disappears back into her apartment with a huff.

Y/N tries to open the door again and flings it open, closing it and leaning against it after it’s closed, “I’m so sorry for today.” He truly looks sorrowful and guilty.

“It’s not your fault,” She takes her coat off, then her shoes, and plops down on the couch, “I’m just—overwhelmed, I think.”

“You don’t deserve to be spied on like that,” He sits beside her and rests his elbows on his knees, “have you picture taken without you knowing.”

She scoffs, “You don’t either. Just ‘cause you're in movies doesn’t mean you should have to get you privacy violated.” She takes the hair tie from her wrist and begins to braid her hair, “I can’t believe I told my mom I slept with you.”

He laughs, “Am I really that bad?”

She falls to the side, groaning as she face plants the cushion, “No, I just don’t talk about those things with her. I mean, not really.”

“I can barely hear you,” He pokes her head and she sits back up.

“Do you tell your mom who you mess around with?”

“I can’t say that I do,”

“I need to turn off the notifications. That noise is going to drive me crazy.”

“You don’t have to but maybe making stuff private would help,”

“It’s all private already, these are like, people I don’t even really talk to or I haven’t talked to for years. Stupid Facebook.” She tosses her phone onto a chair and looks at Henry, who still has a solemn gaze, “I’m pretty good at covering my tracks, you know? I don’t use twitter, my instagram is private. Whatever this is, all of that stuff isn’t gonna get in the way.”

He shrugs, “I understand if you don’t want to deal with it,”

“It’s not exactly normal, is it?”

“No,” His tone has changed. It’s no longer chipper, just melancholy.

“Do you still want to see each other when you come back?”

“If you let me,”

She kisses his cheek quickly, “I wouldn’t have asked,”

“I do like you. Last night was just a huge bonus,” He hisses, “That sounded kind of gross,”

“I know what you meant,” She gives him a light and comforting smile.

“I have to ask; Are you pissed?”

Y/N tilts her head to the side, “Just unprepared, I guess.”

“Yeah, you can’t really prepare yourself for your mum to ask who you’re sleeping with,”

“I’m sorry my family is,” she pauses, “dramatic.”

“They’re not,” He admires a strong family bonds, he strives to create one of his own one of these days.

“Henry, it sounds like my sister wants to punch you and my mom freaked out, too.”

“Any chance I can get in good with your dad?” She gives him a blank stare, “I’m only joking.”

“B/F/N is gonna shit a brick.”

“And B/F/N is?”

“She’s my best friend. She’s practically our sister,” she remembers their text conversation, “oh, god, my mom probably called her.”

He chuckles, “You’ve got quite the circle.”

“I know, I’m sorry. They’re just protective and, yeah.” She’s tried not to show her embarrassment but it’s written in her body language.

“It’s not a big deal, I understand. It’s a tricky situation,” Tricky, indeed, but if anything this just made Henry want to further prove himself.

Y/N’s phone begins to ring and she excuses herself, “Sorry, I have to answer this one.”

Henry simply nods, interlacing his fingers and relaxing into the couch. He watches her walk around a small room, her hands up in the air and at times, writing things down. He leans to the side to get a better look. He doesn’t mean to be nosy but something catches his eye, its a painting. He can only see part of it but he already loves it. Some colors blend and others are blocked together, there’s lines and shapes. If she lets him, he’d love to explore more.

She reappears and gets back to her spot on the couch, “That looks like a fun room,”

“It’s where I paint,” She fiddles with her pant leg, “I have a show coming up,”

“Oh, yeah? Where?” She’s taken aback by his enthusiasm.

“It’s called Desmond’s,” She grins so widely that Henry notices a small dimple beside her mouth, “it's my second show there.”

“That’s amazing,”

“Thank you,” The shyness that overcomes her when she talks about her work, it’s akin to enchantment.

“Will you show me your work one of these days?” Henry looks as if he’s glowing at the possible opportunity.

“Hmm,” She taps her chin, faking thought, ”maybe.”

“I’ll take a maybe.” He’s more than glad for the maybe.

“I don’t think any of these are yours,” He waves his finger around happily.

“Hmm,” He’s correct, these are gifts or purchased from other artists, “I wanna see if you can spot them.”

He points toward her studio, “And I can’t look in there?”

Y/N shakes her head, “No, that doesn’t count.”

“I just want to see what you got in there. I know where I can spot one.”

She wants to call his bluff, “You do, do you?”

“At the bar,” He states it so matter of factly, “there’s a really cool mural on the back wall where the tables are.”

He figured it out too quick, “How did you know that was me?”

“It looks like you,” He shrugs, as if that’s not a completely sweet thing to say.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, it has the best colors. Your colors.” Wow.

“Stop that.” He looks away and looks back to her, confused as to what he did, “You cannot be so cute when you’re so, I don’t know, that.” She wiggles her fingers at him and he get’s all too playful again.

Henry knows he’s good looking but it’s funny how she doesn’t even attempt to hide how it affects her, “And what’s that?” He refuses to break eye contact. If she likes how he looks, then he’s gonna make her look at him. She looks away and he catches her cheek in his hand, slowly turning it back to him, “Hmm?”

This is another one of his unfair games. She knows what he’s doing, and he knows she knows. His thumb traces her mouth and she bits the tip of it, but he doesn’t flinch. His hand travels down to her throat, feeling her breathe, “You know what you are.” He smiles in a way that could make her collapse if she wasn’t already on the couch. “Charming,” He leans forward and pulls her closer by her throat. An act so suggestive, yet gentle, “Handsome,” He signals her to come closer by pulling again, this time she’s brushing her lips against his chin, “Magnetic.”

He holds her there, so close but not close enough. His eyes look down into hers, only inches away but enough to make her feel small, but safe. She feels slightly dominated by it, and she likes it. “Such a pretty girl,” he can feel her swallow, letting him know her mouth has ben watering for him, “my girl”. He kisses her forehead and lets her go but stands up, “I’ll let you know when my flight gets in, Sweetheart.” He walks to the door with a smirk, knowing what he’s just done.

Y/N’s mouth is left agape, even after the door closes behind him, “Motherfucker.”

[Tagged: If you’d like to be tagged, just shoot me a message or ask!]

@igotkatiepowers  @xxxkatxo  @lunedelorient  @heartfelt-pen​ @omgkatinka​ @viking-raider​ @summersing69 @hell1129-blog

i had so much fun writing this! I left it a bit open ended in case I felt like coming back to it

[perpetualoverthinker]

New In Town (JJ x Reader)

(not my gif!)

Summary: It’s junior year on the Outer Banks and a new face shows up in town, catching the attention of a particular blunt rolling surfer...

Warnings: underage drinking, swearing, weed

WC: 2.3k

A/N: Sooo I’m not really sure what this is...I just had a really strong urge to write something and so I just wrote whatever came to mind (aka Outer Banks because that’s all I can think about rn lol). Most of this first part is exposition (I’m sorry!!) but hopefully things will spice up in the next chapter, even though I plan on making this a slow burn. Also, I’m not sure how often I’ll update this story, but for now I plan on continuing to write it! This is my first time writing fanfic, so please go easy on me lol. I love getting feedback on the things I write, so don’t hesitate to leave some (or write anything you’d like to see in following chapters)! 

When your dad told you he was uprooting the whole family away from the city and down to the Outer Banks, you felt your heart drop. The thought of leaving New York, the only home you had ever known, and moving down south filled you with dread. How were you supposed to adjust? You wouldn’t see your friends, you would be leaving the high school you knew so well, and you didn’t even like the beach that much. You had nothing to look forward to in North Carolina.

Your dad had told you and your sisters that it would be a fresh start. He said that he had some friends down there and that this was your chance to begin anew. After your mom had died, your father had felt there were too many memories in New York. Too many fresh wounds. You felt differently, of course, and fought him on it. Sometimes it felt like you were winning the argument and other times it felt like you had no chance. Ultimately, you lost.

The summer before junior year was coming to an end as the car pulled up into your new driveway. The house was fancy and absurdly big for your four-person family. It perfectly blended in with the large, luxurious houses scattered throughout the neighborhood. You laughed at the gaudiness of it all. You quickly jumped out of the car and waited with your sisters as the moving truck slowly parked along the curb.

“Girls, help me with the boxes while I unlock the door, will you?” your dad shouted as he headed for the front door.

You made your way to the truck and started heaving boxes towards the house, your sisters trailing behind you, lugging whatever they could. You made sure you picked up the boxes labeled “y/n’s room” first. All you wanted was to escape to your room and wallow. As you were about to step inside the house, you noticed a girl about your age running up your driveway. Dressed in a floral summer dress, long blonde hair flowing behind her, she shouted, “Hey!” You watched her wearily as you dropped the boxes at your feet.

“You’re the new neighbors, right?”

“We indeed are!” your dad exclaimed as he came up behind you and placed his hands on your shoulders.

“I’m Sarah,” she said as she extended her hand out to your dad, “I live just around here and thought I should introduce myself.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Sarah.” He shook her hand, smiling. “We’re the y/l/ns. This is Nicky and Jo.” he said while gesturing to the two little girls (who were already getting bored of the conversation) sitting cross-legged on the ground, picking at the grass. “And this is y/n.” He shook your shoulders gently as you smiled awkwardly at the pretty girl.

“So, do you go to Kildare High School?”

“Ah, no. I go to the private school around here. But I have some friends who go to the public school.”

“Maybe you could introduce them to y/n!” You wished your father would stop talking sometimes. “Well, I should start hauling those boxes in. y/n, just bring up your boxes when you’re done.” He kissed you on the side of the head, waved at Sarah, and walked back inside, Nicky and Jo scampering behind him.

“I should probably head back,” Sarah pointed her thumb back and started to walk away but stopped midway. “Hey, um, I don’t know what you’re doing later tonight, but my friends are having an end-of-summer party down at the boneyard if you want to come?”

“Boneyard?”

“Oh, it’s just a beach. You’re welcome to come, though. Get to know some people on the island. It’s around 10.”

“Sure, I guess. I’ll see you then…”

“Great! I’ll meet you back here!” At that, she turned around and walked back down the driveway.

• • •

Soon enough, 10 o’clock came around and you were standing outside your front door. You weren’t sure what you were doing. The girl seemed nice enough, but how badly did you really want to make friends on an island you wished you weren’t on?

“Hey! You ready to go?” Once again, Sarah came jogging up your driveway and held up a six-pack of beer.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

As you strolled along the road headed towards the beach, you admired the environment surrounding you. Being in the city your whole life, you weren’t used to seeing mass amounts of trees or hearing crickets chirp through the night. The steady hum of the night seemed to ease some of your tension. You took a moment to close your eyes and take it in while you walked. The girl beside you glanced over at you and smiled.

“I think that’s the most I’ve seen you relax. Earlier today, it looked like you couldn’t wait to run away from me,” she chuckled.

“Sorry about that. Let’s just say moving wasn’t my idea.”

“So why did you move?”

You felt your throat go a little dry. “Um, my mom passed away about eight months ago.”

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” She grabbed your hand and squeezed it.

“So my dad thought it would be a good idea to move here and get a new start. Me on the other hand, I thought we should’ve just stayed in New York.”

“Well, you’ve already made your first friend.” She smiled at you and kept holding your hand as you stumbled down to the beach.

Right away, you noticed an unusual split between partygoers. Scattered on one side of the beach stood people dressed in pastel polos, khaki shorts, boat shoes and designer bathing suits. On the other side, people were dressed in less expensive and more casual clothes.

A group of kids surrounding a beer keg looked over towards you and Sarah and started waving at the girl next to you. Sarah tugged you along towards the group. Letting go of your hand, she went to hug each kid. You suddenly felt out of place with the absence of your new friend’s hand.

Within the little huddle stood three boys and a girl. Sarah had gone up and kissed the brunette boy wearing a bandana around his neck and a button up shirt (in which the buttons seemed highly unnecessary, for he nearly had all of them unbuttoned). Stood beside him was a darker skinned boy wearing a snapback. He had his arms around the two other members of the group while he laughed along to whatever Sarah was saying at the moment. The girl had dark curly hair and friendship bracelets lined both of her wrists while the last boy was blonde and wore a cutoff shirt. He held a blunt in one hand and a beer in the other. You couldn’t help but notice that they were all obscenely attractive.

Where the fuck am I?

“Alright, alright, everyone. We have a newbie here! She’s my new neighbor.” Sarah announced as she gestured towards you. Suddenly all eyes were on you.

“Well hello there…” the blonde boy said while he sauntered over to you. You could tell he was trying to flirt, and your cheeks went red.

“JJ cool it. Don’t freak her out.” The other girl came up to you and grinned. “Don’t mind the horndog over here. I’m Kiara, but you can call me Kie.” You shook her hand. “And that’s John B. and Pope.” She pointed at each boy respectively. “And now you know who this idiot is.” She playfully shoved the blonde’s arm.

“I’m y/n.”

“Beer?” John B. asked, holding up a red solo cup. You nodded and moved closer to the group. “So y/n, where you from?”

“New York.”

“So a city girl, huh?” JJ laughed and raised an eyebrow at you.

“Yeah, not much of a beach person I guess.”

“Not a beach person and she moves to the Outer Banks. I think you’ve chosen the wrong place to live.” Pope laughed as he downed the rest of his beer.

“What’s with the preppy kids separated from everyone else?” you ask, looking back towards the polo clad group. All of them except Sarah scoff at the mention of them. “What?” You looked at Sarah, confused.

“Listen, here on the island there are the kooks,” John B. paused to point over at the group, “and the pogues.” He made a circling gesture towards his friends.

“The kooks are rich entitled assholes who live on Figure Eight and pogues are the low-lives who live on the Cut. It’s war, my friend.” JJ stated while he glared at the kooks.

You tried stifling your laughter at the absurdness of it all after seeing the serious faces which had fallen upon the group. Your attempt to hold it in was feeble. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard!” you burst out.

“Thank you! Finally someone who agrees with me!” Sarah beamed.

“It’s not stupid! They really fucking suck!” JJ exclaimed.

“Well don’t you think it’s at least a little stupid? I mean come on. Only people in movies or celebrities have rivalries.”

“You’ll change your mind once you speak to one of them…” You only shook your head and chuckled to yourself. That is, until you noticed a few of the kooks heading over towards the keg.

“Jesus, here we fucking go.” JJ complained as he stepped in front of you. “What do you want Rafe?”

The tall blonde boy approaching smirked. “I heard I got a new neighbor,” he said while eying you up and down. All you could do was make a face. “Just wanted to make sure she wasn’t making the same mistake my sister made, hanging out with you losers.”

“And why does who I decide to hang out with concern you?” you asked as you sidestepped out of JJ’s protective stance.

“Woah, fiery. I like that…” he chuckled. You noticed JJ’s body tense when Rafe took a step towards you. You rolled your eyes and stepped back to avoid him getting any closer.

“Listen, not gonna happen bud.” You turned around and started walking to the keg, hoping to just end the unwanted interaction there.

“Whatever, your loss!” he called out. “Hope you enjoy whoring yourself out to these dirty pogues.” You stopped dead in your tracks, whipping yourself around. Before you could let out a response, JJ charged Rafe and punched him square in the jaw. In one swift moment, Rafe’s goonies and the pogues behind you rushed towards the two squabbling boys. Rafe threw some punches and busted JJ’s eyebrow, but JJ soon had Rafe beneath him and was throwing punch after punch. You could see blood dripping down the kook’s face, splattering after each blow. Beside you, Kie and Sarah were yelling at the boys to stop. John B. and Pope both rushed to wrangle JJ off of Rafe as the kooks attempted to drag him out from under.

“You’re fucking dead, pogue!” Rafe pointed at JJ as he retreated with his friends.

Looking over at JJ, one wouldn’t have thought he had just gotten into a fight. Sure, scrapes littered his face and you could see purple starting to blossom along his cheek and eye but plastered on his face was a shit eating grin. “Why the fuck are you smiling?”

“Because I won,” he smirked and winked at you. You shook your head, laughing nervously.

Turning to Sarah, you said, “Listen, I think I’m gonna head home.”

“What? But you just got here!” she pouted, running up to you and grabbing your hands.

“I think I’ve seen everything I need to. There was beer, banter, a fight. I’m already partied out.” You chuckle, more to yourself than to Sarah.

“Alright, fine. You want me to walk you home?”

“I can do it.” You and Sarah turned to look at JJ as he raised his hand slightly. “I’ve got to clean up anyways,” he said, gesturing to his face.

“Ok, sure.” You looked at him, once again blushing, as he moved towards you.

The walk home was mostly silent, with the exception of you giving directions every so often. JJ had rolled another blunt and the two of you were passing it between each other, huffing out smoke as you walked. You weren’t sure why he had volunteered to walk you home. Maybe he felt bad for you, you thought. Or maybe he just wanted to get in your pants. The thought made your cheeks flush. All you knew was that the silence was eating away at you.

“Hey, thanks for tonight,” you mumbled, looking down at your feet.

“For what?”

“Defending me, walking me home…”

“Oh, no problem.” You saw him blush a little. “Rafe’s an asshole. He had it coming.”

“You probably didn’t need to punch him,” you said as you glanced at his scraped-up face.

“What’s the fun in that?” The smirk from before reappeared.

“You find getting punched in the face fun?” you asked incredulously.

“Nah…I find the punching fun.” He took a drag of the blunt and passed it to you. As the two of you were approaching your house, you found yourself wishing you hadn’t walked so fast.

You slowed down at the end of the driveway and turned to JJ. “Well, this is me…” JJ stopped and stared at the house before him, letting out a low whistle. “What?”

“When Sarah said you were her neighbor, I knew you were rich, but I didn’t know you were rich rich.” You scoffed at the remark, rolling your eyes.

“I swear to god, if you call me a kook, I’ll kick your ass,” you said in a serious tone, but you couldn’t help but smile.

“Is that a threat?” He bit his lip and cocked his eyebrow.

“Maybe…” you said slyly as you walked up towards your front door, JJ still following. Slipping your key into the lock and opening the door, you looked back at him. “I’ll see you around pogue.” Then you shut the door.

“Jesus…” JJ mumbled under his breath, turning the other way and laughing to himself.

Leaning against the door, you smiled ear to ear. Maybe you did have something to look forward to on this island…

CH 2

[theonetheycallhannah]

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter Eight: Heat/Ice

Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)

Summary: Playing hooky leads to more delicious food (Sy cooks! Swoon!), some deep conversation, and new revelations about Shane’s past.

What? You’re behind? Don’t worry! CLICK ME to catch up before reading this chapter!

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings:  Language, mature themes, more food sluttiness, shameless nerd speak, unfettered and shameless sappiness.

Author’s Note: So, guys, I’m sorry. I really wanted to get this chapter to you Sunday. Life has just been a bit disheartening of late. Between being upset over some personal turmoil some friends are going through (two of my oldest friends are getting a divorce!) and coming home from work utterly exhausted on all possible levels, it’s been hard to write about lovey dovey things. As I said in my recent reblog of my masterlist, though, I’m working on some prologues, one for each character. I don’t plan on them being terribly long, but I want you guys to have some more back story.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

Tags: 

@onlyhenrys

@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

@omgkatinka

@thisismysecretthirstblog

@misslaland

@speakerforthedead0

@tumblnewby

@suavechops

Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)

It was hard to feel guilty for calling out of work for the afternoon under false pretenses when she was curled up on the sectional in Sy’s “nerd lair” with his head in her lap as they watched John Wick on the massive TV he had down there.

“You mean to tell me we watched the entire Bourne franchise upstairs on that…that iPod Touch, by comparison, when we could have watched down here on this majestic monolith!? In what is essentially a theater!?” She’d asked immediately, derailing the grand tour of the museum of things she would soon find amazing.

“Hey, I haven’t been coming down here a whole lot since I hurt my knee. Stairs haven't exactly been easy or, ya know, possible. I had my gaming computer down here for weeks, too, couldn't do a damn thing about it, because I didn't trust a'one of my buddies or my neighbors to haul her up the stairs for me. Leia's a custom machine worth thousands a' dollars. If she's getting' broke, it's all gonna be on me."

"You named your gaming computer? Leia?" So many emotions were flooding her. Adoration, sympathy, lust, and just a sheer need to squeeze the bejeezus out of him.

"Yeah, it's a common thing. And…not to be that guy, but…you do know who Leia is, right?

"If by Leia, you mean Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan, true daughter of Darth Vader, adopted by Bail Organa at birth, sister of Luke Skywalker, hero of the Rebellion against the Empire?"

"Hey, I thought you wanted to take things slow, sunshine." he pulled her close, flush with his body. "Then you go talkin' all sexy to me like that." he lingered at her cheek with light kisses.

"Well, you did the same with your baseball talk the other night." she moaned into the contact with relish.

"I can't help it if certain sports terms have made their way into everyday speech. Your…exposition there, about my boyhood crush was intentional."

"You had a crush on Leia?" he nodded, shyly. "I had a crush on Han! Heck with Cap and Widow, THERE'S our couple's costume for next Halloween!" she said, excitedly!

"Oh, I didn't know you were talking about costumes for public use." he said, a naughty smirk in his eye.

"Stop it, you. Finish your tour. I want that soup on the stove." she said, patting her tummy.

He showed her the various memorabilia he'd procured over the years. Posters from a few of her favorites, and a few others that she recognized but wasn't as excited about. Die Cast models of several famous film vessels and vehicles, and a "life size" LEGO R2-D2 which would have had her salivating even if she hadn't been hungry. Apparently it took him almost a month to assemble the droid, but he did it all by himself.

"Aww…I wish I could have helped." she lamented.

"Maybe I'll pick up the Death Star and we can do that one together."

She nodded excitedly, eyes wide, rubbing her hands together in front of her chin with greed.

"Okay, little mouse." he chuckled. "Let's fill that belly and start this movie."

They filled massive bowls with generous portions and took the crackers down stairs so they could start the marathon. If they wanted to get through all three films tonight, they'd best get started.

They were both fairly quick eaters out of habit given her often truncated lunch breaks and his typical ten minutes in the mess hall. Even savoring the delicious creamy, cheesy concoction, as she tried to do, it was hard to slow down on. It did give her something to focus on during the first, emotionally devastating part of the film though. Once she finished, she expressed a final  groan of delight and thanked Sy, kissing him on his cheek as she held the other. She felt the smile bloom across his face as she prolonged the contact.

They were about halfway through the movie, a big fight scene in a night club, when something dark and grim hit Shane in the chest. Watching Keanu Reeves pretend to beat up and kill all of these actors and stunt men, it occurred to her that the man with his head resting gently on her lap, long body taking up the rest of that side of the sectional, had fought and killed. The man letting her play her fingers through his hair and beard had shot and blown up people. He was told to do it. Ordered to do it. But even though he was doing it lawfully and by military order, as far as she knew, it was still his job…at least some of the time. She knew that was an oversimplification of the function of the armed forces, but…sometimes, it was an apt description.

She had never thought of Sy like that before. Someone other than the strong but gentle teddy bear that had come to be such a comforting presence in her life. She needed that, after all she'd been through…she tried not to think about the hurt of her last relationship. She hadn't discussed it with Sy. It was history. Ancient history. But she was, after all, a believer in the fact that those who knew nothing of the past were doomed to repeat it. She'd tell him…one day. Everything that Elliott had done to her…had put her through. But not tonight. Suddenly, she thought being on the arm of a soldier, someone who'd lived the kind of life that Captain Logan Syverson had lived, might make her feel more safe than she had in ages.

"You're awful quiet, sunshine." he said, cracking a beer open and handing it to her before doing the same for himself and sitting down with his thick arm around her.

"Just…trying to be respectful of the movie experience. You know." she smirked at him as the menu music to the second movie played.

"It ain't that. I know this is still new, what we're doin', but I've watched enough movies with ya over the last few weeks to know that you don't keep quiet for a full length feature." Shane worried the tab on her cold Miller Lite. She wasn't sure how to bring this forward. "Spill it, sweetheart. What's eatin' ya?"

"What…what do you think about when you're watching movies like this, Sy?"

"Guess, same as anybody. How awesome the fighting and driving is. Wondering when Keanu got to be a badass. And if there's really an underground society of assassins. Why, hon?"

"I, umm, I only wondered if it…it doesn't make you miss…your job?"

The smile he gave her was both bemused and amused. "Come 'ere." he prompted her to lean her head into him, and sat his beer down on the buffet behind the couch so he could better hold her. "Do we need to go over the function of a captain of the Army of These United States? Because as flattered as I am that you think so highly of me, I'm no John Wick, nor do I know anyone like John Wick. Or five guys that would make one John Wick. Ten guys. Maybe twenty."

"The fighting doesn't bring anything back?" she smoothed the creases in his shorts as she tried not to act like she was over thinking his past.

"That fightin’s…it's like dancing. It's choreographed, precise, and the outcome is predetermined. Real fights are the exact opposite. They're chaos, unpredictable, and the right guys don't always win. Trust me, I've seen a lot of them go south in a big way." they both let a moment of silence pass before Sy broke it. "What’re ya really askin’, Shane?"

She wanted to ask so many things. The questions seemed to clog the ventricles of her brain like leaves in a rain gutter. Bottlenecked traffic.

"I just…couldn't help but think…about things you must have had to do when…when you were active, and I just…if you need to talk about anything, I'm here." She imagined that taking someone's life, no matter how personal or impersonal the act itself seemed on the surface, would create some level of emotional scarring.

“Oh, sweetheart." he kissed the top of her head, making her feel as warm and cozy as the soup had…perhaps more so. "You are important to me for so many reasons. You've shown me how to smile again. Laugh. Real, genuine happiness. No sarcastic shit like I had to use on my men in my squad. But although I'd feel comfortable talkin' to ya 'bout near anything, there's a counselor on the base who's specifically trained to help guys like me. Who've seen what I've seen and been through…similar situations. He makes sure I don't feel like less of a man for what happened to me. You make me feel…like more than a man…something stronger than I thought possible."

She was straining hard to corral the tears within her waterline, but they broke free when he squeezed her tightly to him with both of his massive arms.

"So…that HEP I gave you is working?" she laughed, knowing full well that his home exercise program had no bearing on the strength he meant.

"Come on, Shane." he raised an eyebrow at her, challenging her to see herself the way he saw her. "Them handouts you give me don't mean a hill o' beans in this conversation and you know it. The way you hold yourself, speak to others. There is so much quiet strength in your kindness that comes right out of your beautiful little heart. Some days I'll see you working with kids, if I get in early, and I know they annoy you and freak you out, but you never let that show." He looked into her eyes, misty from emotion, and he wiped away the tears from her cheeks. "I'll never be able to explain it right, the way you inspire me to be a better and stronger man. And my heart just breaks to hear you put yourself down. And don't say you're just kidding, because I know you think you are, but behind every one of those jokes is a truth, at least as you see it." He'd seen her make to argue and knew her tactic before she had attempted it. "Give yourself some credit, Shane."

"I'm too busy blaming myself for the bad stuff to give myself credit for anything good." she sniffed. "You're the first guy I've…I've been involved with that's acted like I was worth anything more than a meal ticket. Someone who was only suitable for enough sex to make it an official relationship just so they could have a place to live, and do whatever quasi-job was a thing. First serious boyfriend was a freelance writer, but he never seemed to be writing. Then there was the guy with the internet start-up…but he could never tell me in a satisfactory way what the company actually did…so that was brief."

He seemed to know she was bracing for something big. Something difficult. He gave her silence and stroked her shoulder in encouragement to continue. She took one of her deepest ever breaths.

"Then came Elliott. Elliott Thomas. My last boyfriend. The worst of them all. Most useless and greatest offender. I ignored all of the signs, of course. He had a YouTube channel and an Instagram that he was trying to gain followers on and become a so-called "influencer." she rolled her eyes. "He had no life skills. He had a bit of an eye for photography and he could find humor in uncommon places, which he thought made him insta-famous and vlog-worthy."

"I hate him already." Sy growled.

"Well, maybe I shouldn't tell you the rest, then." he asked her to go on. "He always seemed to find these ways to cheat on me and lie to me that I couldn't quite prove, but I was just certain of. But I just…I didn't want to believe it. I wanted THAT one to work. Well. I came home one night after work, and he had another girl in our bedroom. I told him he had until the next day when I got home to leave. Things got a little physical, but I can hold my own." she said, proudly, "and I bolted with my purse. I stayed with Heather, our evening secretary, and we hashed it out, and got a little blitzed on moscato, and cried together."

"Wow."

"He was gone the next day. All I heard from my landlord was, 'you shouldn't be hearing from him anytime soon.' so I guess he had his cop buddies send him a message. He blocked me on all social media and I haven't heard a peep from him since. That was five years ago."

"What a scum bag." he stated, obviously.

"Yeah, I haven't been able to really think about a relationship since then…until…" she let the word hang there, knowing they both knew what the end of the sentence was. "Until I met you." Drifting unsaid in the ether of the unspoken.

"It's been a long time for me too. I mean…I haven't quite been a monk, but I haven't…I haven't cared for a girl since…actually, I've never felt this way about anyone."

"I didn't mean to unpack all of that tonight when we're only a third of the way through our marathon. I really wasn't even going to bring it up at all. It's just…been on my mind. Ya know. I once heard a very poignant parable about keeping your mouth shut if you're warm and happy. I was attempting to do that." she chuckled.

"Yeah, but we need to be able to open up to people in this life. Keeping a bottle stopped under pressure ain't no good for the bottle. Or what's inside."

"Such wisdom. You know just what to say to me." she grinned into him.

"Just seen what keeping yourself closed off can do to a person. And the people they love."

Love…there was that word in the air. Not officially said, but felt in all ways. They held each other close as the opening to the second movie played.

Up Next: Chapter Nine-Group Therapy