#long live takeoff

[cantcatchmeee]

[brownskinella]

Long live Take! 🚀

[pastaseason]

🙏🏾🚀

[greatsublimewizard]

OEbN0M

CLICK HEAR TO HAVE SOME FUN!

[killapee]

Long Live The Rocket 🚀

[mintytrifecta]

Thinking about my pookie bear Lenore and how deeply she needs a hug <33

[ienjoywritingfilth]

a sinner i am

If its so wrong, why does it feel so good?

trope: Boyfriend's Dad PP character: Joel Miller x f reader summary: Your boyfriend Shawn Miller and his dad Joel bring you along to Hawaii for Christmas vacation. Things don't go as planned.

warning: 10/10 on the sexual tension scale, slowishh burn, kissing, grinding, cheating on your bf (but it’s cool, cuz its with Joel and everything is fictional in this universe), alternative universe b/c daddy miller stays alive and hates golf and he has a son named Shawn, no Sarah. rating: E

words 6.8k

wanna see my other stuff?

part i : takeoff

The best things in life are the people we love, the places we’ve been, and all the memories we’ve made along the way. - author unknown

"Loving him is a sin; of that I'm fully aware. But a sinner I am." - Bella Jewel

Your boyfriend Shawn brings over two iced coffees as the two of you work on a crossword together at your local coffee shop. You have been filling in the squares quickly.

"Thanks babe," you say warmly as you take the coffee from him. He presses a kiss to your temple, taking a seat next to you. 

"Damn, you're fast this mornin'," he says when he sees all you've filled in. It's a tradition for the two of you; weekend crosswords over coffee. It's nice. It's domestic. 

It's a little boring. 

You're college sweethearts who met your sophomore year and have been inseparable since. And while the love is still very much there the butterflies have unfortunately been hibernating for a while. 

It's normal, you tell yourself when you sometimes zone out during sex. It's normal when you've been together with someone so long. 

"It's so nice to be doing this instead of college essays," you say. 

"Fuck yeah it is." 

This is your first summer of freedom without the threat of schoolwork looming in the near distance. Shawn is starting his master's in the fall and you've just accepted a position at the local museum. 

“Just think I’ll actually be able to enjoy Christmas this year,” you tease. “Unlike someone who’ll be working on essays.”

“Hey now,” Shawn says with mock offence. “I’ll be able to enjoy my Christmas just fine. Actually, my dad wants to celebrate Christmas somewhere warm this year. He's talkin' about some resort in Hawaii."

Shawn comes from money, the son of the infamous Joel Miller of The Miller Company, the premiere construction firm in Texas. This means expensive vacations, nice cars, all of that is normal for him. You meanwhile have had to work hard for everything you have.

Being left behind at Christmas seems strangely unkind for the normally thoughtful head of the Miller family. Shawn's dad has always treated you like one of the family so this news is unexpected.

"Have a great time," you say trying not to be jealous. "Bring me back some chocolate macadamia nuts."

You can admit that even though both Shawn and his father are humble, kind men, you're always a bit bitter that they live so nicely. Leaving you out of their holiday vacation seems especially unkind. 

"He's taking both of us babe," Shawn says with a grin. "You think he's gonna leave you behind on Christmas? After you’ve spent the last six with us?" 

Christmas in Hawaii? Is this a dream? Your pencil lays forgotten on the table as you gape open-jawed at your boyfriend. 

"Are you serious?"

"Babe," Shawn says meaningfully. "My dad likes you better than he likes me. Of course you're invited."

You've always gotten along with Joel. It's impossible not to. He's friendly, funny and charming. There's a reason he's good at his job. And you're a good girl, a kind girlfriend to his son with clear career ambitions. 

A smile breaks out over your features and you pull Shawn into a tight hug. He chuckles, embracing you back, kissing your cheek. 

"Make sure you don’t overpack, okay?" He murmurs in your ear as you giggle. “I don’t feel like helping you haul six bags of shoes for a week-long trip.”

Thoughts of lounging by the pool with a drink in one hand and a magazine in the other while the Hawaiian sun beats down on you is all too enticing. You kiss him fiercely, imagining the time together.

"I can't wait." 

The two of you finish the crossword puzzle all the while talking about the drinks and food and the excursions you'll both take. 

"Maybe once I've got a handle on school we can think about findin' an apartment in the new year," Shawn broaches, his hand over yours.

Sex fades, but this? This domestic stuff you have with Shawn? That's special. That's love. 

“Yeah, I’d love that.”

He gives you a smile, that dimple poking out of his cheek that makes you swoon.

"Ready to go?" Shawn asks, extending his hand to you when your coffees are drained. 

"Yeah," you say with your hand taking his. "Let's go."

When December twentieth announces itself with a thunderstorm you couldn’t care less because you’re at the airport. Your large rolling bag bag is stuffed with cute outfits, swimsuits and even some snorkelling gear. 

"Feels like you got a dead body in here," Shawn laughs as he struggles with the two bags, handing you yours before swinging an arm around your shoulders. 

"I wanted to be prepared."

"Let's go my little Girl Scout," he laughs with a gentle kiss to your temple. You both check in and then find your boarding gate. 

"I'm gonna grab breakfast, you want anything?" Shawn asks as he parks you and the suitcases by the gate full of noisy travellers. 

"Nah, I'm good." 

Shawn jogs off in the direction of a Starbucks you passed on your way in. 

Out the larger windows you can see planes taking off. You've never flown before; you thought that you'd be excited. But at the first view of those planes out the window you feel your stomach drop. 

They’re so big and bulky. How does it fly properly? It couldn’t. What if people shift around too much in their seats? Surely this can’t be a safe form of travel!

You pull out your phone, distracting yourself with a game. You try for several moments but your eyes keep being drawn to the huge planes outside. You grimace, wondering if you should have gotten your doctor to prescribe you something for anxiety. 

"Cheer up," a voice says. "You look like you're goin' to prison, not a five star resort." 

You glance over to see Shawn's dad, Joel, at the other side of you, an amused look on his handsome face. He's wearing jeans and a faded grey Longhorns t-shirt. You're momentarily thrown as normally you see him in dress pants and button downs for work. 

"I'm excited for the resort, just not the giant metal death box hurling through the air that is my only means of getting there." 

"Touche."

Shawn jokes about Joel liking you better then he likes him, but the truth is you and Joel are very similar. Your senses of humour, your ability to read people, your tendency to see the worst in people before they prove themselves worthy.

Shawn is more like his mom, sweet and naive at times, always seeing the good in people. It's ironic considering which parent stuck around to raise him and which one escaped the country six years after Shawn was born. 

Joel takes the empty seat next to you, his kneecap kissing yours as he pulls out his phone. 

"Never flown before," you explain. 

"Ah, I see," Joel puts his phone in his pocket, his attention fully fixed on your face. "Well what if I told you it's actually the safest way to travel?"

"I'd call you a liar."

Joel chuckles richly, his hand falling to your knee and squeezing as he laughs. 

"I promise you, I wouldn't take you on anything unsafe. And if all that's not good enough, you'll have Shawn beside you holding your hand the whole time."

You grin at that, nodding. The thought of Shawn being there does help your anxiety. Joel smiles back, eyes crinkling in the corners. 

"Thank you so much for inviting me along in this trip, Joel. I've always wanted to go to Hawaii."

"S'a beautiful place," Joel nods. "And you don't need to thank me. You're practically family at this point." 

Shawn returns with a muffin and two coffees in hand. 

"Hey dad, got you a coffee," Shawn says handing it to his father. 

"Thanks," Joel says gratefully. Just then the intercom alert sounds 

"Good afternoon passengers.This is the announcement for flight 82B for Oahu, Hawaii. We are now inviting passengers to begin boarding. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Thank you.”

“That’s us.”

The lineup goes uncomfortably fast. You stand beside Sean who is talking to Joel behind you, the two of them deep in conversation about football, a subject you couldn't care less about. You are still too preoccupied with the flight, being surrounded by almost all strangers sailing through the sky. 

You're not a fan of heights. So when you get to the door of the plane you hesitate, willing your foot to move. When it doesn't and the flight attendants shoot you a confused look, you feel yourself start to panic. 

Shawn has gone on ahead to grab your seats and place your carry-on bag in the overhead bin, not noticing that you're not behind him. A large hand flies to the small of your back, a comforting gesture. Joel. He rubs there, soothing you. 

"You'll be okay darlin'," he rumbles in your ear. "Remember, it’s safer than drivin' a car."

“Liar.”

Joel’s deep chuckle makes you grin and you allow Joel to gently prod you onto the plane, shooting the waiting attendants grateful looks for their patience. He takes his seat near the front, watching as you make your way to your seat next to Shawn. As you buckle in a thought occurs to you and you move your voice to a whisper.

"Isn't it gonna be kinda weird with us being there all week with just your dad? I mean, sharing the place and all?" 

"Nah, he made sure the rooms were far apart. Plus, he invited his girlfriend to come along so I doubt we'll see much of him."

Joel is a chronic workaholic, often pulling late nights and working on his phone. You’ve seen him out and about with beautiful women at the events Shawn takes you to but never formally dating them. You always assumed to be a lifelong bachelor. You wouldn't blame him, especially after what he's been through with Shawn's mother. 

"I didn't know he had a girlfriend," you say honestly. "Good for him."

"A couple months now," your boyfriend tells you. "You know my dad, mister private. But he took me to dinner and told me about her so I think he's getting serious." 

"That's really sweet," you say honestly. You want nothing but the best for him. 

All of a sudden the plane starts to jiggle, sending people stumbling down the aisles and others gasping in surprise. You reach over and grab Shawn's hand, trying to regulate your breathing. 

"Not so tight, babe," Shawn complains before gently sliding his hand from under yours. "You scratched me with your nails."

"Sorry," you mumble, eyes closed as the jostling of the plane continues.  

You tighten your seat belt before gripping the seat arms so tightly that your knuckles are white. Sean squeezes your kneecap, murmuring that everything will be okay and that you’re safe. You keep your eyes closed, trying to focus on the soothing sounds of his words.

Eventually the plane enters smooth skies and the seat belt sign is turned off. Despite this you remain keyed up, sitting stiffly as Shawn fades into a nap. 

"Excuse me, Miss?"

You crack open an eye to see a beautiful redheaded flight attendant bending down towards you with a glass of what appears to be whisky in her hand.  She extends it towards you and you take it confused.

"This is from the gentleman in A-1. He says to take this and you'll be relaxed for the rest of the flight." 

You look up a few rows to see Joel giving you a brief wave. You thank the women before raising it towards Joel in a Cheers motion. 

Drink it. Joel mouths. 

Yes, sir. You mouth back complete with a stiff fake salute before tossing back the drink. 

He grins at you before settling back in his seat. 

The drink does the job. 

"Here we are."

The cab drops the three of you in front of the beach resort. When you step out the air is fragrant with the scent of flowers. You wait while Joel checks you all in before he's back, motioning for you both to follow. 

There's the main section of the resort with luxurious hotel rooms. The more secluded section contains a variety of self contained houses that dot the waterfront. Its reserved for people who have unlimited credit card limits and drive cars that cost more than your parents first home.

When you arrive to your unit, your eyes are ready to bug out of your head. It's massive, as far as vacation rentals go. When you all step into the air conditioned unit you have to take a moment to take it all in. 

The beach house is beautiful with floor to ceiling windows, stunning tile floors and tasteful furniture. All of this is topped off with spectacular views of the beach outside your door. 

A plate of sliced pineapple and chilled wine sits on the kitchen table, along with a note that Joel reads when he wanders over. 

"Welcome note," he explains when he sees you looking at it. "I knew the owner back in trade school." 

You and Shawn nod, your boyfriends hand trailing down your back gently. It's much the same as what Joel did back at the airplane, but it feels different. You trail your suitcase behind you hearing the clack of it against the stone floor as you move around the room. 

"Wow." 

It's all you can utter as the three of you tour the rest of the unit. There’s a simple kitchen with an expensive looking coffee machine and a brand new bag of kona coffee waiting to be used.  The living room holds a table and four chairs, a few board games and a list of nearby places to visit along with the wifi code.  The couch is simple, placed in front of a large television that you’re sure you won’t use.

"My bedrooms on the right," Joel tells you both. "Yours it's on the left. We're sharin’ a bathroom, sorry about that. Pretty common in these places." 

Who cares about sharing a bathroom when you're in one of the most beautiful places you've ever been? Even the bathroom is beautiful with its high waterfall shower head and sleek marble. This place must have cost a fortune for the week. 

Joel encourages you both to take a look at your room down the hall and you don't hesitate to take Shawn's hand, dragging him there. Shawn pushes open the door to the bedroom and you can't hold in your shriek. 

"Holy shit! It's gorgeous!" 

The big windows overlook the ocean, the late afternoon beach beckoning to you. The bed is large and plush with white sheets, and framed prints of Oahu sunsets. Its spacious, the bed so large it looks like two giant beds pushed together. The closet is spacious and boats dozens of wood coat hangers.

“Wood, because it’s classy,” you tell Shawn in amusement who is already unpacking his suitcase while you continue to stare in a daze. 

"You like it?"

Joel is standing at the door frame, a shoulder balanced against it, watching you take it all in. He's smiling at you in that gentle, sweet way of his that makes you feel cared for. 

You're suddenly overcome with gratitude and you streak over to him. 

"Thank you, Joel!" You say, throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him. "This is the most beautiful place I've ever been."

Joel laughs along with Shawn at your embrace and enthusiasm, holding you around the middle and hoisting you in his arms. Your face presses into his neck as he squeezes you, and the scent of leather and sandalwood envelops you. 

You've never really hugged Joel before. Maybe a polite side hug during family events, a high-five during baseball games and even once a hard push to his shoulder when he made fun of you for being afraid of a spider that had gotten into the house. 

But you've never had your front pressed to his, never really felt the muscles of his back and arms, seen the tendons in his neck or realized just how big his hands are when they squeeze your waist before lowering you.  

"I guess that means you like it," he says, red-faced. You pull back, embarrassed at your overzealous response. 

Shawn and his dad are very similar in their looks. Except Shawn is clean-shaven while Joel has a beard and Shawn's eyes are hazel like his mom's while Joel's are the darkest brown you've ever seen. You've never really noticed how dark until this very moment. 

You shoot him a cheery thank you again before smiling and skipping over to Shawn announcing that you'll unpack as well. 

"You two enjoy, I gotta make a few calls but then we can head out to dinner."

"Sounds great," Shawn says as he searches for his phone charger. 

Joel closes the door behind him and you turn to your boyfriend. You can't explain it but you feel turned on. The Hawaiian air must be doing something to you because

You crawl towards where he kneels unpacking. You grin, feeling the pulse of desire hitting you below the navel. You kneel beside him, dropping your voice to a husky murmur. 

"Should we break the bed in?" 

An hour later the three of you are sitting at a local eatery. Joel and Shawn are talking with one another while you scan the busy restaurant. 

Couples, families, all laughing and cheerful. And why wouldn't they? This is Paradise after all. But you don't feel anything like it, if anything, you feel like a little black rain cloud. 

Shawn turned down your earlier advances, citing that he was too tired. The problem is for the past three months Shawn has been too tired most of the time. At first he blamed grad school but when you pointed out he still made lots of time for gaming with best friends Brian and Kevin he'd been quick to explain that gaming relaxed him. 

That conversation had gone over about as well as a turd in the punch bowl. You remember being so hurt at what you felt was a slight against you. Weren't you relaxing? Weren't you something that made him happy? 

So yeah, you had hoped that this little vacation might stir some of that old spark back. But maybe you were too eager. You had just arrived at the place after all. Maybe you were being unfair. Still, the rejection stung.

"Thought we could do all the tourist-y shit while we're here," Joel says after you've all placed your orders. "Luau, sunset cruise."

"Snorkelling?" Shawn offers. 

"Hell yes," Joel nods grinning. "ATV tour too."

The Millers like to have fun. They also like to keep busy. It's like second nature to them to be off on adventures or activities. You meanwhile plan on spending lots of time by the pool or the beach, reading and drinking. 

"What about you, darlin'?" Joel asks between sips of whisky. "What're you hopin' to do?"

You know exactly what. The thing you've been dying to do since you were a kid at the aquarium. 

"I wanna swim with the turtles."

Shawn bursts into amused laughter beside you, and if you weren't already irritated with him before, you certainly are now. He grins at you not understanding that you're secretly furious with him. 

"Turtles? Really?"

"What's wrong with turtles?"

"Seems kinda babyish doesn't it?"

"What's babyish about liking animals?" Joel cuts in. "You forgetting about the time we wouldn't let you in the petting zoo and you threw your shoe at me?"

"I was five, dad."

"Yeah well, some things don't change," Joel says with a smirk. "Still throwin' tantrums when you don't get your way."

"Fuck off old man," Shawn says through chuckles. “Don’t forget I’m your only child. I pick which retirement home I’m gonna stick you in when your mind goes.”

“Little bastard,” Joel mutters, trying to hold back a loud laugh.

He settles for tossing a drink umbrella in Shawn’s direction, chuckling when Shawn dodges it easily. You can't help but laugh along with him, your bad mood fading. 

By the time dessert arrives you're all several glasses of wine in reminiscing about Shawn's last attempt at surfing. 

"I've gotten better," he exclaims. “I swear.”

"Yeah well we'll see about that," Joel says paying the check. "Alright team, let's head back and get some shut eye. This old man needs it." 

You roll your eyes at that. Joel isn't even fifty and even if he was he's about the best looking man his age bracket and younger. You've seen the way women stare at him, whispering, blushing when he looks their way. He is not what you’d qualify as old.

The three of you arrive back at the unit to the sound of nighttime creatures croaking and buzzing. 

"Alright I'll meet you two out here tomorrow morning around nine. We can go to the excursion desk and plan the week. Sound good?"

"Sounds good, night Dad."

"Night Joel."

The three of you part ways into the opposite bedrooms. Shawn nuzzles your neck gently kissing there. He always does that when he's been drinking. You smile delightedly at this, eager to get into bed.

When the lights are off and the two of you have slipped off your clothes and under the covers you roll towards him, peppering his face with soft kisses. 

"It's late, babe," he murmurs, kissing you sweetly but with finality. 

"We're on vacation," you remind him, slipping your hand under his boxers.

You feel him slowly start to harden in your grip. You hear his breath hitch and you smile, knowing those sounds so intimately. You tug off your panties and slide onto his lap, preparing to ride him. 

"Fuck me," you whisper, hips grinding against his. "Wanna feel your cock in me."

“Baby, no.”

Shawn pulls you off of him and you tumble into the bed next to him, feeling your cheeks grow hot with humiliation.

"My dad is right across the hall," Shawn hisses. “I don’t want him hearing us.”

Rejection never sits well with you and immediately you feel yourself growing defensive. 

"You're dad is gonna be across the hall the whole week, Shawn,” you whisper angrily. “So what, we're not going to have fuck this entire trip?"

"We'll have sex," Shawn said rolling his eyes. "Just not when my dad is ten feet away sharing a fuckin' bathroom with us."

Bullshit. Another excuse to put off the intimacy that’s been dwindling for months. You push yourself from the bed, tugging on your dress from earlier. Shawn leans up on his elbows, giving you a look of concern.

"Where are you going?"

"A walk."

"I'll c---"

"No," you say sharp as a knife. "I want to go alone." 

You stalk out of the house, eyes glossy with hurt and anger. That's the thing they don't tell you about relationships that have gone on so long -- both partners need to work to keep the fires going. 

You make your way to the beach along the softly lit pathway. Its well after midnight and the resort is quiet; the lights dimmed or off entirely. You take a seat on a nearby rock, listening to the gentle sound of the evening waters lapping by the shore. You're very excited to go swimming tomorrow. To feel the warm sand underneath your feet. 

You can hear noise coming from the far end of the resort. You remember over dinner Joel going through the resort map on his phone, letting you know what amenities they had. He had told you both about the dance club the resort had.

Shawn had immediately laughed, stating that he’d take a pass on it.  Shawn hates dancing. You tried to get him to do dance lessons with you once but he wouldn't even give it a shot. 

Right now it seems all you can do is focus on Sean's flaws. You know that he's a decent man, you know the treats you well, but there are these bugaboos these irritants that can't help frustrate you right now. 

"Fuck it," you murmur to yourself, raising yourself from the sand and brushing it from your sundress. You follow the sound of the music, stopping in front of a door with blinking lights. A man in a blue Hawaiian shirt smiles at you when you approach. 

"Aloha, may I ask your Unit number?"

"Number 4, under Miller."

The man types into his computer before nodding, opening the door for you. You step into the darkness, letting your eyes adjust to the blue lights and colourful dance floor. The speakers are playing typical vacation music with a heavy bass.

Bodies writhe on the dance floor, half naked in revealing dresses or in the men's case, unbuttoned shirts. You order a drink at the bar, taking it with you as you scout the area for a free chair. A hand on your wrist surprises you.

"Joel?"

Joel is seated at one of the small circle tables nursing what appears to be a tumbler of Scotch. He motions for you to take the free chair next to him and you do gratefully falling into it, your arm bumping his. 

"What are you doin' here? Since when does Shawn dance?" He asks over the bass, grinning. He looks a bit tipsy, his neck red. 

"He doesn't, I'm here alone. I needed to blow off some steam," you tell him over the music. 

"Me too," he says loudly back. "Couldn't sleep. Too excited, I guess." 

You nod, looking back at the dance floor wistfully. Everyone looks like they're having such a fun time, their worries and concerns far away from them as they undulate to the rhythm of the music.  Joel takes another sip of his drink, watching you from the corner of his eyes. 

You wish Shawn was here with you, you wish he was spinning you around on the dance floor. You wish it was like those early years where you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other.

"You and Shawn doin' okay?"

Joel's voice cuts into your confusing thoughts. You glance his way.

"Why do you ask?"

"Cuz I'm a dad," Joel. "And I've been married. And I know what tension between two people looks like." 

You sigh heavily, your mind drifting to earlier. You don’t answer Joel because what would you tell him? You can’t tell your boyfriend’s dad that you’re worried his son is growing distant. You can’t tell him that your sex life has been disintegrating for the past several months. Instead you just shrug.

"You two talked about marriage?"

"What? No.”

You and Shawn have been together a long time, but you have no intention of settling down anytime soon. Sean is still doing his masters and you're loving your job at the museum.

"Good. No, not like that," Joel amends when he sees your stricken expression. "I just mean you're both so young."

"You were younger than us when you got married.”

"Yeah and look where that got me," he says with a scoff. 

"Yeah, well, I think it's just been a long time and we're hitting a rough patch. Nothing we can't overcome," you add quickly. "It's just hard sometimes, you know?"

"Yeah," Joel nods. "I know." 

The two of you lapse into silence, watching the twirling, shouting, laughing people swan around you. You shouldn’t be glum, you should be experiencing life!

"You wanna dance?"

His voice is low and husky in your ear. You start, surprised to see Joel inches from your face. You know he's speaking so close to you because it's so loud in here, but it doesn't stop your pulse from ticking at the shock. 

"Don't really know how.”

"Shit reason. C'mon."

Joel throws back the rest of his drink and drags you onto the dance floor. You laugh as he spins you, both of you almost knocking into an older couple who are taking the dance very seriously. They shoot you both a nasty look and you and Joel have to work hard to muffle your laughter. 

"You're gonna get us kicked out!"

"Nah," Joel shakes his head, spinning you again but closer to him. "I'm too charmin’."

"You think pretty highly of yourself don't you?"

Joel shrugs, laughing as the song ends. Another quick one begins and Joel looks serious. 

"I'm gonna teach you some moves Shawn's mom taught me."

"Okay."

You're surprised, he doesn't really mention Shawn's mother very often. 

You watch as Joel attempts to teach you some simple dance moves. You don't know if it's the stuffy club, the drinks running through your veins or the fact that you're dancing with your boyfriend's dad, but you can't really focus on the steps.

"I give up," you moan after the fifth failed attempt at a two-step. 

"You ain't a quitter," Joel assures you, trying to spin you slowly so you can get your footing. 

You never realized that Joel was such a good dancer. Watching him move his tall body is strangely hypnotizing, mainly because you never expected a man that broad and muscular to move so fluidly. 

"Atta girl," he says proudly when you get some of the footing correct. 

You smirk when you see the women nearby watching him, shooting him smiles. But his focus is on you, teaching you the moves and assuring you: it's alright darlin', we'll get you there just take your time. 

You're having so much fun with him you barely realize that an hour has gone by and you can only tell when you realize the back of your neck is damp with sweat. 

You're about to announce your heading back to the unit when the beat slows and many trickle off the dance floor. It's a slow song, and only the couples remain in the glowing dance floor. 

You go to step off when you feel Joel spin you again, back into his arms. You smile breathlessly up at him, the two of you shiny from perspiration from the dancing and the warm crowded space. 

Joel is looking at you strangely, his eyes luminous in the reflection of the twinkling club lights. When he slides a hand at your lower back and urges your hands around his neck you don't hesitate. You lace your fingers there, shifting from foot to foot.

You feel strange to be dancing with Joel. And not because he makes you feel uncomfortable, it's the opposite, actually. You feel almost too comfortable. Joel’s eyes are trailing over your face, sometimes highlighted by the flash of the DJ’s lights.

“You talked to Shawn about all that’s botherin’ you and this rough patch?” Joel asks out of nowhere.

He looks vulnerable; unlike the Joel you know who is all smiles and jokes.

“Kinda,” you say shyly, looking over his shoulder. “It’s just hard. . . We can both get pretty defensive. Plus, I wonder if I’m maybe being unfair. He’s in school and everything.”

“Uh huh, and you started that museum job didn’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Pretty demanding job, ain’t it?”

“Yeah.”

Joel gives you a look as he rocks you both from side to side

“Can I say somethin’ you might not wanna hear?”

You nod.

“In my experience, it takes two people to make a relationship. Not one puttin’ in all the effort while the other one has his or her head in the sand.”  

You nod slowly, absorbing his words. The song ends and Joel releases his hands you’re your waist before he announces he has to hit the washroom. You head to the bar for a glass of water and to wait for him. 

"Hi beautiful." 

An Australian man around Joel's age with a moustache is leaning against the bar next to you. His eyes are bleary and red-rimmed, his cheeks ruddy. He’s obviously very drunk. You give a forced smile before going back to wait for your water.

"Can I get you a drink?"

"No thanks," you answer quickly. "Just getting water." 

"How about a dance then?"

"I'm good," you say forcing a polite smile. You’re facing away from him, eyes on the bartender hoping he notices you.  

"C'mon beautiful," the man insists, eyes sliding over your chest in a very obvious way. "I'm a good dancer too. Could give you lots of lessons." 

"She said no."

Joel's voice is there, having clearly come back from the bathroom. You step backwards and before you know it Joel is sliding his arm protectively around you.  You glance up to see Joel's face contorted into a mask of fury. His teeth are bared like some wild animal and he grips you tightly to him. 

"Sorry man," The guy says holding his hands up in surrender towards Joel. "Didn't know she was taken." 

Joel sneers before leading you out of the club. The cool air is a welcome reprieve when you step outside, breathing deeply. 

"That place is nothin' but perverts," Joel growls as the two of you make your way back along the beach in the direction of your unit. 

"Joel,  you were there," you say giggling. "That make you a pervert?"

"Ha ha."

You walk quietly along the shoreline, confused as to how you can feel this good when just an hour ago it felt like everything was falling apart. Maybe it’s the drink in your veins, maybe its Hawaii, or maybe it’s just Joel.

"Watch it--"

Joel takes your hand when you stumble over a rock in the semi darkness. You let him, not dropping it even when your walking evens out. It feels nice to walk hand in hand with him, it feels safe. He doesn't let go of your hand either as you continue along, your shoes making dual footprints in the sand. 

"Thanks for in there," you say. “I hate creepy guys like that.”

"Was nothin'," he says, then he drops your hand after a moment. "Shawn would have done the same."

"No, he wouldn't have." 

It slips out before you can stop yourself. Joel stops in the sand, his concern there in his face. It’s clear that what you’ve said has upset him.

"What?"

"He doesn't like confrontation, you know that," you say with a shrug. "And I like that about him."

"You do?" Joel challenges. "Really?" 

"Sometimes." 

Honestly you’ve never enjoyed the men who start fights for no reason, who act like cavemen when someone looks at their girlfriend. Shawn is too smart for that, too above it to engage with assholes like that. But you have to admit that there was a part of you that found Joel’s actions inside the club to be a bit attractive. Is that the word? Would you really call your boyfriend’s father attractive?

You look at him standing there, his grey t-shirt clinging to his muscles and wide shoulders, the muscular thighs in denim and you think, fuck, yeah he is attractive. You knew he wasn’t ugly, you’d just never looked at him like that. Like he was a man outside of being Shawn’s dad.

"I come from a time when you take care of what's yours." Joel runs a hand through his messy curls. "If you were mine I wouldn't let anyone talk to you the way that man did, let alone touch you." 

If you were mine. 

You can't understand why but you're nipples tighten under your dress at those words. The possessiveness in Joel's voice is so dark and husky. He’s looking off into the dark like he’s really upset.

"If I was yours," you murmur. 

His glazed eyes move from the beach over to your face. You’re standing so close to one another and you can see his chest rising and falling quickly as he breathes. His scotch-coated breath huffs over your cheeks and you swear you’re getting drunker just inhaling it.

You must be, because why else would you be putting your hands on his shoulders. Why else would you be pressing your mouth to his? Why else would you be tracing his plush lips with your tongue and whimpering when he groans into your parted mouth?

And he must be drunk because he doesn’t pull away or hesitate. He dips his head and his hands wrap around your waist, bringing your body against him tightly. His palms slide over your skin, desperate to touch you everywhere as he tilts his head, deepening the kiss. You welcome it, going gooey in his arms, allowing him to take what he wants from you.   

He’s so fucking broad, so strong, so masculine. You gasp into his mouth when he grips your ass with his big hands, pulling your hips against his, circling them as he kisses you. You feel his hardened cock through the layers of fabric, straining against the zipper of his jeans, desperate to bury itself in your slick heat.

To be desired like this feels powerful. It feels like years since Shawn wanted you like this much. It makes you lean more into Joel, desperate to keep the sensation going. His hands are sliding under your dress, up your silken thigh and you tremble.

A splash sounds nearby in the water, a fish or something startling you both and you simultaneously break apart. You both take a step back from one another in the sand, eyes wide. Joel looks completely crazed.

“The fuck—what are we doin’?” Joel whispers, the regret clear in both your faces.

You bring your trembling hands to your warm cheeks and tears immediately spring to your waterline.

What have you just done?

“Oh my fuck, no no, I don’t – I don’t know why-“

You bend at the waist, hands braced on your knees as you start to hyperventilate. Joel is pacing up and down the sand, his silhouette barely seen in the darkness of night. You can see his feet pacing back and forth. . . back and forth . . . He stops when you let out a hiccup, on the verge of throwing up.

“Honey stop,” Joel says, a hand on your back, rubbing gently along your spine. “Calm down. Calm down, its okay.”

“I don’t know why I did that,” you say, tears streaming down your face and dropping into the sand below. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“S’not your fault,” Joel says, his voice even and calm. It makes you feel calm. And yet, guilt still bubbles up in your lungs, making a small sob escape.

 “I have to—you need to—I need to tell Shawn. Right now.”

“Hold on,” Joel says roughly, gripping you by the shoulder and urging you to stand. He peers into your face with a grim expression.

“You cannot tell Shawn anythin’.”

“I have to,” you whine.

“It’ll just hurt him,” Joel insists, nodding and hoping you’ll do the same. “It was a mistake. It was nothing, it was just the booze. We just drank too much and we were all hopped up on that asshole inside the club and we weren’t thinkin’.”

“Right,” you agree, relief sliding through every vein you possess as he lays it out for you. “That’s totally what it was. The drinking. We’re drunk.”

“Completely.”

“Okay. Good.”

You’re still shaken up by what just happened, still tipsy from the drinks. Joel runs an anxious hand through his curls, looking utterly wrecked.

“Let’s go back.”

The two of you walk the rest of the way back in silence. You still cannot believe what you did. You kissed your boyfriend’s father. You kissed him and he kissed you back. Fuck, you both must be utterly wasted. Maybe if you’re lucky you’ll both forget it even happened. You would welcome the hangover from hell if it could erase the last fifteen minutes from both your minds for good.

Joel tugs open the sliding glass door, not able to look at you as you both pad towards the opposing doors. You glance over your shoulder to see Joel staring at you as you enter the bedroom where his son sleeps. You give him a sorrowful smile before closing the door.

You crawl under the covers, thankful that Shawn is asleep. You slip off the dress, your hair wild from dancing, your skin sticky with sweat, and your mouth still tasting of scotch. Your cunt flutters at the memory of the noises he made.

You roll onto your side, trying to drift to sleep. Shawn, still half-slumbering snuggles up against your back. His arm slips over your waist and he holds you, as he often holds you back home, gentle and tender and full of love.

“I’m sorry about before, babe,” he murmurs into your hair.

You feel tears burning the back of your eyes. You blink rapidly, closing your eyes and trying to swallow the guilt.

You know that Joel is in his bed right now similarly afflicted, thinking about how he did something so unforgivable and to his own son. Joel is the kindest dad you know; he loves his son more than anything. You know that what you both just did was awful and disgusting.

You also know that there is something deeply wrong with you because as you lay there in Shawn’s arms your pussy floods with memories of his father’s mouth on yours still vivid in your mind.  

do you guys want more of this? or should it be a one-shot? also trying a new aesthetic what do we tthink?

[b1asho]

While it's on the mind, here's my wings of fire designs too. Not as much of a brainrot but still fun. Bad take or am I cooking with some of them? Let me know in the comments. Here's some (too many) notes:

I really liked the original designs when I first read these books, but I wanted to try my hand at uhh changing them a little. Mainly making them more distinct from each other (even if this irreversibly breaks canon XD)

-Sandwings live in a mixed savannah and desert habitat and have bodies adapted for resource scarcity, effective hunting, and heat dispersion. They have large ears to help cool off and listen for stuff. They can fly, but pretty weakly in comparison to some others, mainly using flight to navigate their large territories , get onto cliffs, and scan for prey. They typically climb up somewhere and then jump off. They are built like felines, and use a solo stalk and rushdown hunting approach coupled with a sting instakill. They live in family groups, with a ‘queen’ title going to the alpha female 💪 and everyone else hunting and living together. They are immune to their own venom, which acts very similarly to a scorpion’s but in a massive dose, causing numbness, breathing difficulties seizures, and eventually death. It takes time for them to make more once they’ve expended the dose, so they rarely use it outside of hunting or life/death situations (though the prospect of being stung is very scary to everyone else, and they will instinctively raise their tail when startled or threatened)

-Skywings live in high mountainous and forested areas, with some living in the lowlands. They are powerful flyers and very acrobatic due to their tail, though this comes at the expense of their agility on land and the strength of their non wing arms. They have long legs with powerful talons for grasping prey midair or snatching them from off the ground. They hunt and live alone unless they have a partner. Communities are made up of a loose group of related individuals who rarely collect in one place at once(queendom structure are a more recent and ‘unnatural’ thing for them, but very useful for organizing military efforts and empire building). They stay aloft for long periods of time and usually only land on their cliff homes. They need a sprint or a takeoff point to get flying, though. Unlike every other tribe, they have a noticeable difference between male and female (being a nose horn and red face for males.) males are prized for these features, and having a pretty husband is seen as an attractive trait for a queen.

-Seawings live along the coast. They normally only venture out of the water for trade and other resources, since they can get everything else they need underwater. Their large neck houses gills protected by thick pads that will close when on land, while their lungs are in their mid chest. Primarily adapted to swimming, they have very strong tails and webbed fingers and toes. They will also use their wings to steer and paddle, as well as manipulate things their other arms can’t reach. They will hunt in packs, corralling fish and other animals into a kill zone. They are very clumsy on land and in the air with their short limbs and weak wings. Their bioluminescent spots can be flashed for communication, and compared to the other tribes they have pretty poor vocal ability (due to the gills in their neck getting in the way) and will supplement with other spot/sign signals. Every individual has unique spots, though their glowing ones come in consistent numbers, sizes, patterns, and places on their body so they can use them for common language across their group. However, Different groups from different parts of the ocean have different numbers of spots in different areas, making cross communication via only spots difficult. Their whiskers help navigate in close or dark areas, and are seen as a status symbol.

-Mudwings live in warmer areas, specifically marshes and other wetlands (though sometimes in some forested areas too). Their thick armor helps protect them from other mudwings/competition, while also acting as an insulator that allows them to easily venture a wider range than other tribes from warm climates. Physically, they are the strongest and bulkiest. They typically use the element of surprise and their overwhelming size and strength to take down large prey. However, unlike other tribes they tend to eat more plants too due to their large size (all of them are technically omnivores, but meat makes up the dominant part of their diet because of their energy needs and their ancestors). They are also the poorest flyers out of the bunch, having sacrificed that for size and strength, though they can do short bursts similar to a chicken to get to hard to reach areas or to surprise attack prey faster than them, they’re similar to hippos and are adapted to living in the water too, using powerful webbed arms to propel themselves and dig through the mud, and their large lung capacity to stay submerged and hidden for long periods. Their nostrils, ears, and eyes are located near the top of their head, which also gives more room for Tusks. They use these to root around occasionally defend themselves. Tusk maintenance and appearance is very important to them. They live in large groups of families in the same area and have more communal social standards than other tribes.

-Rainwings live in tropical areas and have a very small habitat range. This has caused them to look and act very different than most tribes, leading to poor perception of them. They use their long claws, strong grasping fingers, and prehensile tail to climb around, and are pretty much arboreal. They have wings meant for quick takeoffs and flight in dense areas, and are pretty agile and swift. They and aren’t that great at sustained flight or dealing with high altitudes and winds though . Their frill is delicate and used for emoting (probably originally for mating purposes) Their skin is packed with chromatophores that they can use to match their surroundings, and they have loose ridges in their skin that they can raise to enhance the effect. Their skin is constantly changing color due to their brain activity, though they have set patterns/colors for emotions and communication. They can also choose to focus on organizing their skin patterns to get coordinated colors and patterns, since normally it’s pretty disorganized. They eat a lot more plants due to their environment and due to social standards, but arent herbivores. They have the ability to spit acid out of hollow retractable fangs, and use precise shots of this coupled with their camouflage ability to get prey. They can also spray it at higher velocities for defense and offense, though this expends their supply much quicker. They don’t recognize a queen in their communities and are fairly disorganized into different cooperative groups.

-Nightwings are the result of a group that split off onto an island, though the volcanic activity on their original island escalated to the point where they had to emigrate. They are great fliers, using their wings and tail extensions to travel great distances to track prey and ambush from above. When on land, they aren’t particularly fast or strong, and instead are built for persistence. Their hunting tactic involves getting an initial bite onto prey, then waiting for it to succumb to infection. Their spines, horns, muscles, and talons are mainly for defending their kill from other Nightwings rather than hunting it in the first place. As a result of this competition, they aren’t naturally very social like other tribes, They are mainly nocturnal.

-Icewings live in the colder tundras and snowy forest environments. They are pack hunters, using their speed and persistence to take down prey, similar to wolves. Their long overlapping scales help them trap heat and survive in the cold, and while the guy i drew here is pretty skinny they also store fat much more readily than other tribes. Their bowed wings are mainly used to swoop in in prey, and like falcons they often take steep dives to grapple it. Their antlers only grow in at a certain time in the year, but royalty will wear embellished artificial ones in the meantime.

[roostersgirlfriendlovesf1]

new light | charles leclerc

charles leclerc x reader

prompt: y/n wolff is new to the f1 world, being mclarens first female f1 driver. her teammate is lando norris, her father is toto wolff, and her mentor is daniel riccardo. she could not be more immersed in the motorsport. the person most helping ease her into the world is none other than charles leclerc. his interest in her seems to be deeper than just the sport; so y/n invites charles on a trip back home over the summer break to get a feel for how a life with him could be without f1.

y/n shuffled in the plane seat, nervously awaiting takeoff. Charles hummed next to her. She did not like the takeoff aspect of a flight. She was also nervous about them being seen together.

“How long have you two been together?” An older lady asked, sitting in the row next to them.

“Oh, we are n-” 

Charles interrupted y/n. “Two years.” He smiled. “We met through work.”

The older lady smiled before giving them a nod and turning her in-flight tv on. y/n shuffled as she felt the plane begin to move. “I’ve never been to Oxford, I’m excited.” Charles smiled. y/n kept her eyes shut, holding her breath. “y/n?” He looked at her. Her hand shook as she moved it closer to his. He realized why she was nervous and quickly grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. The plane reached its height and the seatbelt sign turned off. y/n opened her eyes, looking down at their hands. Her face flushed as she looked up and realized Charles had dozed off. His face was slightly red as he nuzzled deeper into his sweatshirt. She leaned her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes.

Y/n felt a hand rubbing her shoulder as she slowly lifted her head. “We’re landing.” Charles whispered. She nodded as she came to consciousness. “I just didn’t want the plane touching the ground to frighten you.”

“Thank you.” She sat up, fiddling with the bracelets on his wrist.

“Y/n.”

“Yes?”

“Are we staying with your parents?”

“We’re staying at their house, but they won’t be there.”

“Alright.” He zipped up his bag as the plane hit the ground.

Y/n turned their rental car into her family’s drive. “Horses?” Charles exclaimed looking out the window.

“Yes, horses.” She smiled. “That’s Shumi and the other one is Niki.”

“Those are very special names.” He laughed, “Ever tried racing them?”

“No, never. They’re retired race horses. We take them here to live out their last years in peace.”

Charles glanced over to her in the driver's seat. His head was full of new possibilities and the excitement of learning who she was. He looked forward and saw a beautiful old-stone house. “And this is home.” y/n parked the car. “There’s a creek out back, a nice porch, and privacy.” She climbed out of the car and Charles grabbed their bags. She slowly closed the trunk, watching him walk up the steps to her home. She hopped up the steps, unlocking the door with giddiness. Charles dropped the bags off in the entry room. 

“It’s beautiful.” He scanned the interior of the house.

“Thank you.” She blushed. “I’ll show you to your room.”

He paused before nodding, not knowing what to expect for sleeping arrangements. 

“I mean I just didn’t know where you would want to sleep so I figured I’d give you the garden-view room” He carried his bag, following her down a hallway. She opened the door and he gazed at the garden outside his window. 

“This is amazing.” He glanced around with stars in his eyes. He’d been everywhere and stayed everywhere, but nothing compared to this.

“And I’ll be across the hall if you have a nightmare.” She joked.

“What are we doing today? Do I need to change?” Charles asked.

“I was thinking of feeding the horses, checking on the bunnies, and then watching a movie. I think it is going to rain around 3. Is that good with you?”

“Yes.” He smiled. “Do you think I should change?”

“Just put a hoodie on, it’s chilly.”

Charles opened the door, allowing y/n to guide him towards the horses. “I bet Christmas is beautiful here.” 

“It is.” She nodded. “Freezing, though.” Charles glanced at her. He noticed her nose turning slightly pink, and the way she watched her feet as she walked. She had a navy sweatshirt on with a pair of white pants. “Care to help me bring them to the stable?” She pointed to a wooden building, vines embellished the outside of it as the light inside of it contrasted to the gloomy UK weather.

“What do I do?” 

“Grab the lead and guide her to the stable.”

“I-”

“Just follow me.” She grabbed the lead of Niki and placed the one of Shumi into Charles’ hand. His warm hands brushed her cold ones, contrastingly making him shiver. They led the horses into their stalls and y/n began to carry a bale of hay into each stall. 

“Do you need some help?” Charles peaked into the stall.

“I’m good,” y/n said in a distressed voice before tripping over the bale, landing on her back. Her eyes turned wide before she started cackling. Charles rushed over to the girl, offering her a hand up with a worried face. She took his hand, yanking him into the hay with her. He laughed, trying to climb off of her while she was wheezing. His hands were placed over her shoulders as she went silent. He rolled next to her. 

“Who’s your best friend, y/n?”

She smiled, “Why do you ask?”

“Just getting to know you.”

“I’d say Lando Norris.” She positioned herself on her side, facing Charles. Did she not have others? Maybe some before her F1 career. 

“No childhood friends?” He questioned.

“Nope.” 

“That sounds lonely.” His watercolor eyes glanced over her face. 

She sat up. “What makes you think that?” 

“D’know, just does.” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

y/n sat on the couch, flipping through different streaming apps. “Anything specific you want to watch?” She yelled, hoping her voice echoed into the bathroom Charles was showering in. She heard the creak of a door and looked up. He was topless in loose, blue pajama pants. 

“Do you happen to have an old sweatshirt lying around? The one I packed has hay all over.”

“Yes…It might be big on you.” She stood up, digging through a coat closet. She pulled out a Mercedes sweatshirt. Charles laughed, shaking his head. 

“No way. I can’t.” 

“Come on, big guy.” She taunted him with it. “No one will see you in it.”

“There has to be another one.” He reasoned. 

“Nope.” She shook her head. Charles begrudgingly took it and pulled it over his head. “So handsome.” She placed a hand on his chest, where a Mercedes emblem showed.

“y/n.”

“Yeah?” She smiled.

“Please don’t let your career change you as a person.”

“Huh?”

“Formula One has a way of dulling some people’s light. I’m sure Danny has told you. Please don’t let everything get the best of you.” Something caught his eye behind her. A line of rainbow marks. “What’s this?” He changed the subject. 

She was still flustered by his first words. “It’s the chart of my height since I was two.” 

“It needs to be updated.” He smiled. She handed him a marker and lined herself up with the doorframe. She looked up at him while he stood over her, carefully drawing a line above her head. Her mouth slightly opened as she held her breath. “Perfect.” He looked down at her. His eyes staring directly at her lips. Their noses were touching, a slight movement and their lips would be touching. “I wish I could have you.” He whispered.

“You do.” She nodded. She smelled his freshly washed hair and felt the heat of his body from underneath his sweatshirt. “Do you believe this is worth it?”

“I believe this could be my everything.” He spoke. She stood, frozen. He kissed her, hands embracing her waist. She kissed him back, hands tangled in his hair. His hands cupped her face as he pulled away. She heard her phone buzz on the counter.

“You should probably get that.” 

“It can wait.” She kissed him again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

y/n’s eyes opened slightly, light from the window welcoming her. She smiled, memories of the night before making her giddy. She had been drunk on kisses, giggling softly as Charles kissed her goodnight, retiring to his room across the hall. She opened her phone groggily, turning the brightness up. She read texts from the night before, catching up on real life. After responding to a few emails, she then turned her phone off, climbing out of bed. She pulled on a sweatshirt as she creaked open her door. The stone house had a chilly draft in the mornings. She was faced with the sight of Charles sleeping peacefully in the room across from her. The sun highlighted the freckles and moles on his face and the perfectness of his complexion. He didn’t look real. It was so tempting for her to want to climb into the bed next to him. Instead, she put her slippers on and started to brew some tea. She opened the door to the porch, the sound of the babbling creek creating a calming atmosphere. She brought her mug of tea outside and cracked open a book.

“Well this is a beautiful view.” Charles stretched, stepping outside. He glanced at her long hair, cascading past her chest. He placed a kiss on top of y/n's head. “Call me by your name and I’ll call you by mine.” He quoted her book. “Quite the story.” He yawned.

“Would you like some tea?” She asked.

“I’m not a huge fan.”

“Would you fancy orange juice or milk?”

“Orange juice sounds nice.” 

“Okay-” She went to stand.

He placed a hand on her shoulder, “I’ll get it. You stay here.” He poured himself a glass and peered outside again. He reached into his pocket and took a photo of y/n before sitting down at the table. “I hate to ruin this moment, but how is this going to work?” He twisted a lock of her red hair with his finger. 

“I mean the media already hates me so what if we just came right out and said we were thinking about dating.”

“How do you think it would affect those close to us, though? I mean your dad-”

“My dad isn’t like that, Char.”

“I’m just worried. Should we wait?” He sighed.

“It’s ok if we keep it private…” She whispered. “It's not like we can do a soft launch or anything…not too many people have red hair. Everyone would know it was me.”

“Thank you.” He used a hand to massage the back of her head. She stared at him for a moment, their chairs facing each other. “Actually…screw it.” He smiled. “I’m going to take you out to dinner tonight.” 

She smiled before pecking him on the lips as he pulled her into his lap. “I know somewhere.” She nuzzled her face into his neck. He grabbed her book and began to read it to her.

[holylulusworld]

Designed by pain (1)

Summary: Broken hearts are hard to put back together. 8 years ago, Dean lost something he didn’t even know he had in the first place. Will he get a second chance?

Pairing: former AU!Dean Winchester x fem!Reader; Arthur Ketch x fem!Reader

Warnings: angst, language, implied break-up, time jumps, strong reader, Dean being a douche (implied), unplanned pregnancy

A/N: This was an alternative idea for the first chapter of my Bucky story: Monster-in-law masterlist. I decided to use it for a story with Dean.

Designed by pain masterlist

Designed by pain (Prologue)

One night of passion, a life-long responsibility. The words you wrote echo in your mind. It’s only a few days since you left Dean and the house, but you are already falling apart. 

You spent the better part of the drive back to your shared home being scared of the future. 

Having a baby so soon into your relationship wasn’t in your plans. Neither was it to raise the child alone. Even though you know, there is no way you’ll not love the life growing inside your body.

“Fuck, what do I do now?” You slam the door shut behind you and immediately sink to your knees. You choke out a sob and hide your face in the palms of your hands. 

Six days and Dean didn’t even try to call you, nor did he come home. 

He’s over you already, and Lisa will take your place. Maybe it never was your place. You were only a placeholder until she came back into the picture.

You grit your teeth and huff. “Fuck you, Dean Winchester.” Something breaks inside of you, and you don’t know if it’s a bad thing. 

The part of you loving Dean unconditionally already starts to fade, and the bitch in the back of your mind taking over whenever you got hurt wins the upper hand.

You straighten your back and look at the woman in the mirror staring back at you. You smirk and put your hands on your hips. “I guess this means we are going to leave and start all over again. Don’t worry little bean,” you lovingly run your hand over your belly, “we are going to fucking rock this…”

One last step and your new life can begin. This is it, the point of no return. Your life with Dean is over, and you are not even sorry anymore.

You gave him time and space to realize what he was about to lose. In the end, you and his baby weren’t important enough to him to even try to talk things out.

Even if he didn’t want to be in a relationship with you any longer, he could’ve at least tried to be a father to his child.

Now you will be a father and mother to the bean growing in your belly. You’re strong and won’t back down, or cry over spilled milk.

If you look back at this moment in a few years, you will clap your hands and cheer for yourself. You’re stronger than Dean or anyone else gave you credit for. Everyone believed you’re only the cheerful and soft girl who loves to bake cookies and dreams of marrying the man you love.

A week ago, you were this person. 

Today you are someone else. An Amazon, who will take her life in her hands and move on from a man who never loved her…

The takeoff is both exciting and terrifying. You are flying to another country, to live on another continent. Your old life will be in the past, and you can only think about the future from now on. 

Holding your old plushie in your hands, squeezing it tightly you take deep breaths. “In and out,” you tell yourself to calm your nerves. Flying always makes you nervous. This didn’t change.

“How do you like first class, Miss Y/L/N,” your new boss asks. He paid for a first-class ticket so you could talk about your new position and the house he rented for you.

“Thank you for inviting me,” you give him a quick smile. Arthur Ketch is a very polite and charming man, but you cannot appreciate him at the moment. 

“I have to thank you for accepting our job offer,” he says and dips his head to watch you nervously run your hand over your belly. “How far are you?”

“Oh—” heat creeps into your cheeks. You should’ve told him that you were pregnant before accepting his company’s offer. “I…I should’ve told you.”

“Most of our employees are mothers and fathers, Y/N. We are a family-friendly company with family-friendly work conditions. And the boss likes you, and your reputation.” He smirks now and leans closer to look at your belly.

“Do you think he’ll like that I didn’t tell them about my pregnancy? I didn’t do it on purpose. I got to know about my pregnancy only a few days ago, and I didn’t intend to accept the job offer at that time.”

“You know that I’m the boss, right?” Ketch grins. 

“You are the boss now?” Your eyes round. “Since when?”

He shrugs. “I was the one behind the job offer. Robert Singer talked highly about you when we last met. From that moment on, I wanted you to work for us. If I told you back then that I was the CEO of the BMOL you would’ve never accepted our offer.”

“So, you tricked me,” you chuckle. “Lately all men seem to lie to me.” You sigh deeply. “Sorry, that was inappropriate. I didn’t want to…” You sniff. “Sorry.”

“You accepted my job offer because of a bad break-up I assume,” he pats your hand. “It’s alright, Y/N. London is the perfect place to start over. I will show you the town, and help you settle in. If you need help, I’ll be there. We care for our employees.”

“Is that a British thing?” You quirk a brow.

“It’s an Arthur Ketch thing,” he replies. “If you ask me, he’s a fool for letting you go. Sorry. Now I was the one saying inappropriate things, Y/N. You can punch me if you want to.”

“No, you’re right,” you hastily reply. “I gave him a choice, but he just gave up on us after meeting his ex-girlfriend again. The job offer was tempting, but I couldn’t imagine leaving the man I love. He made things so much easier for me. I got a new job and a new life. Maybe I should thank him for being the douche he is.”

“You deserve better,” Ketch softly says. “I know that we barely know each other, but believe me, he’s not worth a single tear. A gentleman should never make a woman cry or hurt her. Especially the one carrying his child.”

You give Ketch a sad smile. You’re embarrassed how easily he saw right through you. It wasn’t your intention to talk about your pregnancy and broken heart with your new boss.

“Y/N don’t worry. Everything we talked about today won’t leave this airplane,” he pats your hand. “If you need a friend, I’ll be there…”

Part 2

[cantcatchmeee]

[numinousmysteries]

24 - He/she called for him/her in his/her sleep.

super quick and dirty. no edits, just need to grease the old writing gears. s8 for some reason even though i hate it.

She’s not afraid of flying. Being afraid would be irrational and she’s not an irrational person. Commercial air travel is orders of magnitude safer than driving, she knows. Especially safer than driving in the middle of the night on unlit backroads with a Mulder who hasn’t slept in 36 hours behind the wheel, which she’s done on multiple occasions. Experience does nothing to allay her fears. Even before arriving at Quantico, she’d racked up thousands of international air miles as a Navy brat. Seven years as Mulder’s partner tacked on thousands more. 

And yet. And yet, she can’t rationalize away the surge of adrenaline she feels every time the engines start to fire up for takeoff. Recalling statistics doesn’t calm the drop in her stomach whenever the wheels rise off the tarmac and she feels the ground recede beneath her feet. 

Early in their partnership, she cursed Mulder for being able to drift off to sleep in a cramped coach seat while she was left alone to white knuckle the armrest and monitor every rise and fall in altitude as if she knew enough to assign any significance to them. Of course, as the years went by, their hands would find each others and she’d be able to rest with her head on his shoulder.

Don’t fall asleep, she wills herself now. She doesn’t want to show any weakness in front of her new partner. She doesn’t trust Doggett yet. But somehow the first trimester fatigue catches up. Where is this deep exhaustion when she’s lying awake in bed in the middle of the night, her mind racing with fears for her child and guilt that she hasn’t found Mulder yet? 

She twists the air vent all the way open hoping the cold air will keep her awake. The flight attendant offers coffee but she’s already had the single cup she’s allotting herself these days at home this morning so she asks for water instead which does nothing to allay her exhaustion. 

As much as she despises turbulence she wishes this particular flight hit a few more bumps but instead it’s a smooth ride over a cloudless Midwestern sky that only makes her eyelids feel heavier and heavier.

Now she’s lying on Mulder’s couch, leaning her back against his chest. His arms wrap around her and he’s resting his hands on her belly, now heavy and round. His long fingers dance across the taut skin chasing a protruding foot or elbow. “Incredible,” Mulder says quietly, not so much to her or their baby but to himself. Slatted sunlight filters in through the window shades and she feels warm all over. Warm from the sun, Warm from her partner’s body wrapped around her own, warm from the life growing within her. She brings her palms to cover his, holding him in between herself and their baby.

Suddenly, the ground starts trembling beneath them. The window is wide open now and the soft sunlight has been replaced with an unnaturally bright glaring white glow. She feels Mulder’s body rising from behind her and watches helplessly as he drifts toward the window. She’s paralyzed on the couch, the weight of her belly pinning her down. “Mulder!” She tries to scream, but no sound escapes her throat and he keeps being pulled away from her. “Mulder!” 

“Mulder!” She calls again. This time she hears her voice as her hand involuntarily reaches out for him. 

But it isn’t Mulder next to her. His living room has dissolved into the cabin of a plane quaking with turbulence and she’s immediately mortified to find her fingers gripping John Doggett’s dry-skinned hand. She gasps and pulls her hand away but his eyes are already locked on hers. 

“I’m sorry,” she mutters under her breath. 

He gives her the grace of a silent nod and then turns back to the newspaper in his lap. 

She’s too keyed up to sleep for the rest of the flight so she just stares at the casefile she brought to read. She can’t absorb a single word, though. Her mind is running in a loop berating herself for being stupid enough to let her guard down. 

She avoids looking at Doggett the rest of the flight. When they land, he retrieves both of their bags from the overhead compartment and she whispers a quiet thank you. 

“We’ll find him,” Doggett says stoically before turning his back to her and walking up the aisle as she follows behind. 

She still doesn’t trust him, but she wants to believe him.

[neomujinjja]

Our love is magnetic

Pairing: Myung Jaehyun x reader

Length: 487 words Genre: fluff, soulmate au, first meeting

Warnings: first meeting, airplane setting, live at first sight type shit, 3rd person pov, song lyrics in fic, mentions of lots of eye contact, strangers holding hands, onedoor reference (as wonder)

Synopsis: At the last minute, your friend drops out of y'all's two week trip. Which means you'll be spending your vacation in Europe with a stranger. You're dreading how awkward the next 14 days are going to be. But this trip with a cousin of a friend might surprise both of you.

Note: another one i was sitting on for a good minute (like since this album drop; long enough for them (both groups funnily enough 😂) to have a comeback 😬). just writersblock and no time at its finest, but soulmate myungjae is officially done. really hope fellow onedoors love it like i do

── ⋆⋅ಇ ⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ಇ ⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ಇ⋅⋆ ──

I see it in your eyes - electric

'25 B, 25 B, 25 B' Y/N repeated in their head, looking for the number as they went down the aisle. While their seat was most likely at the back of the plane, it was a force of habit. Y/N grinned as the plaque displayed that very number before then, settling into their seat. Luckily, Wonder's cousin was already in his seat so Y/N wouldn't have to stand up again until after takeoff. They turned to the distracted male, taking in his side profile before speaking. "You must Jaehyun; I'm Y/N, Wonder's friend."

Jaehyun abruptly turned his head at the sentence; the two of them made eye contact as he did. Y/N's breath hitched as the feeling of electricity passed through their body. "Yeah, nice to meet you," Jaehyun said, his words coming out airy like his breath had been caught.

Pulse is racing, love runnin through our veins

Y/N's heart was beating at top speed, it would be a reason for concern if the flight staff could hear it. But that wasn't any of their concern, the situation had both parties on a high. Neither of them had felt such emotions for a stranger like this before, but that was to be expected with their soulmate connection. The same as how they couldn't bear breaking their established eye contact. Beeping of the intercom broke the tension, the duo finally looking away from each other as a flight attendant began talking about the safety procedures. Y/N was unable to fully pay attention, instead sneaking glances over at the man next to them. They couldn't resist the magnetic pull they were experiencing with Jaehyun.

Pushin me like Superconductor, I'm pullin you like Superconductor now

Their pinkies converged, hooking onto one another, over the shared console. The pull of their new connection was powerful, despite the soulmates avoiding direct eye contact now. But that didn't stop them from stealing glances at one another; new emotions and curiosity also played a hand. Y/N froze, cheeks heating up, as Jaehyun caught them peeking. Jaehyun smiled unabashed, intertwining Y/N's hand with his while staring into their eyes. They wondered if he'd be the same in a long-term relationship; delicate, affectionate, and confident like he acted now.

"Jae?.." Y/N watched as said male gained a blush on his face at the nickname. The casualness of it resulting in Jaehyun being left speechless. He opted for a hum in response and a head tilt that reminded Y/N of a puppy. "How do we do this?" Y/N looked down to where their hands laid on the console together.

His thumb lightly rubbed the back of their hand as Jaehyun reinforced eye contact. "Slowly," he said with a reassuring smile. Y/N gently squeezed his hand as they nodded and smiled back in agreement.

"I'd like that."

[soapoet]

W.I.T.C.H. pick-a-card reading

Hay Lin; next big change

like & rb if it resonates ♡

01.

Shufflemancy: 7 rings by Ariana Grande

ready for takeoff? well, buckle up, buttercup! you may have experienced delays in relation to your passion projects, studies, work, or side hussles, but things will be picking up speed soon. the more thought, intent, effort, planning, or work that you have put into things even during a stalemate, the greater the speeds you'll be reaching once things finally get going. you might experience this is as an easy breezy walk in the park or a roller-coaster ride, all depending on how much faith you've poured into this. you may hear back from that job or school with positive news, or have a successful launch to a passion project. there could be a raise or a promotion of sorts in store, and you seem to find yourself at the right place at the right time a lot. you feel luckier than ever before and things just work out in your favour. this is a huge relief considering you've had to work twice as hard as everyone else or deal with more setbacks and variables.

you'll be experiencing a very different timeline overall, especially with all the nuisances and heaches that just always found their way to you to take away your focus and drain your energy. your schedule may get a little crazy and hours start to feel like the most valuable currency. this effect is likely to be long-lasting and keep you busy for quite a while. do remember to afford yourself some celebratory rest, too, you've certaintly earned it. but all in all it seems like you'll be enjoying the change of pace and the various doors that finally open up for you, and you've been so ready to explore new opportunities and uncharted territories for so long that it's no surprise you'll want to do and see it all and be on the go.

02.

Shufflemancy: Lavender haze by Taylor Swift

whether or not you have travels planned, be it near or far, there is a distinct element of newness, adventure and exploration coming in for you. something may have had you feeling stuck in the daily grind and routines and had you bored out of your mind. you're about to gain some freedom and independence, almost as if shackles come undone and you get to run wild and free. you'll be meeting new and interesting people, some of whom quickly turn from strangers to lifelong companions and partners in crime. soul family members are headed in your direction and you'll look back to this time later in life and joke about all the funny little synchronicities and how within a couple weeks you could've sworn you've known each other your whole lives.

besides platonic connections, you may find yourself in the spotlight attracting many admirers, especially if you've felt like the sea has been emptied of all the fish. some of these are just fun and flirty encounters that serve mainly to put a pep in your step and make you hold your head up high. there may be drama in store, but nothing too messy. in fact, you may actually enjoy the telanovela of it all. one or two of these will stand out to you, and you might find yourself weighing pros and cons between two people you would seriously consider for something more. so long as you let things happen to you rather than trying to force anything or play private detective, you'll be sure to make the right decision as events and information unfold themselves to you naturally. you may even be surprised by how things turn out when you don't let bias or expectations tip the scales one way or the other and simply observe how the tables turn all on their own.

03.

Shufflemancy: Sleep alone by Two Door Cinema Club

you may sigh in relief as you finally make it out of a stressful situation. whilst everyone else seem to be making plans, you're clearing out your calendar. you may want or truly need to recharge, reconnect with yourself and get some peace and quiet. the world is looking a little brighter and it's easier to breathe again. when was the last time you had the chance to just sit and pay attention to your own thoughts and feelings?you may feel like you've been sleepwalking, living life for a while fast asleep and going about your days on autopilot. now you're awake again, and it's not to go wild and crazy but to reflect on yourself and how you feel. you may be doing quite a bit of soul searching at this time and asking yourself a lot of important questions. and not just asking, but really pondering and seeking answers. who are you? what do you want? what do you need? this journey of self discovery will make you feel so at peace and you'll find yourself unfazed by things that previously would have cost you your peace of mind and good night's rest. turbulent emotions calm down and the pendulum swing slows. you find the grey between black and white, rise above to see the big picture, and make a home in the in-between.

some people may try to rile you up, and others can be disappointed by, or even judgemental of, your newfound calmness. when you no longer show up to fight wars that aren't yours and decide to do what feels right to you, some will take that as betrayal, even when your values still align with theirs. real ones will see that you're achieving more good through love instead of hate and commend you for your new approach and how much it let's you grow. you may be taking a step back to connect with hobbies you've had to drop previously. through working on your natural talents and honing your skills you may find yourself collaborating on a project regarding something important to you. and it doesn't feel forced or like a burden when it's on your own accord for once. allow yourself to enjoy your own company and honour your feelings and interests. even if your change in course ruffles some feathers at first, you will gain a lot of respect and admiration for choosing your own path and staying true to yourself.

[icyg4l]

PAC: How Can You Attract More Clientele?

hello beautiful people! i wanted to do something different today! this is for my business owners out there, this one is for you. if you need some extra reassurance/advice on how to gain more traction, this is for you. without further ado, please pick the image that resonates with you the most.

Top Left-to-Bottom Right: (1-4)

Pile One: I heard “something’s brewing” as I was shuffling for this pile. Pile One, do you know how lucky people are to have your talents in this world? Why don’t you take your talents where they belong? I feel like you aren’t really pushing yourself the way that you’re supposed to. You’re all talk but when it comes down to actually putting in the work, you get scary. There’s no point in planning for the future if you don’t live in it. So do what you have to do in order to be known! Another thing about you is that there’s some shame around your work. It’s like you’re embarrassed to show off your stuff so you’ll just hand it off to people that you know and when you get compliments, you won’t necessarily take them as one should. You need to celebrate your work forreal. Your work needs to be seen. You need to be around other creative people so that you can have personal muses in your life. You need to know that your talents will be recognized as long as you let them. All in all, in order to attract clientele, you need to be willing to put yourself out there.

Cards Used: Princess of Swords, The Hermit, Prince of Cups, Knight of Swords, 2 of Wands, 7 of Swords.

extras: shuffle. coffee brewer. sodastream. alliteration. mime. pasties. original invention. 

Pile Two: Aggressive marketing is a tactic that you need to take on, Pile Two. This is a pile similar to Pile One in the sense that you are being too coy. I am seeing a fast-paced work environment. You deliver your products fast and you come up with ideas pretty fast. The thing is though, you do not really sell yourself. When I say this, I mean that you are too calm and humble with the way that you market yourself. People tend to overlook you because you’re not really showing off your product/brand. Invest in your brand and you will see better results. If you have a TikTok or Instagram, I’m not going to lie, talking fast or talking in a bubbly manner will help your clients flock to you. I am feeling a little chaotic right now as I type this. I feel like you need to unleash your chaotic side into this marketing. People would be more willing to buy the product if you show off your authentic energy. 

Cards Used: Four of Swords, Temperance (RX), The Devil (RX), The Hermit, 9 of Wands, Ace of Swords, Prince of Cups, Eight of Wands

extras: panda express. takeoff. funeral. egg sandwich. sadistic. clueless. “you are the visuals baby.”

Pile Three: There is nothing wrong with getting shit done, Pile Three. I feel like this pile thinks that they do everything right, or do you? I think you need to stop caring about the validation of other people. Do you actually like what it is that you’re doing/selling? Is it fulfilling to present this product to other people? If so, then you need to just be patient. You are very impatient to the process of gaining sales. You need to let more time pass. Your business hasn’t taken off because you do not let shit marinate. If you let time pass by, you would actually gain more clientele. As you await for this moment though, take everything as a learning experience. If you do not feel fulfilled/personally rewarded, then it is time for a rebrand. You need to figure out how this product resonates with you. What is your personal connection with it? How can you connect to other people through this product? What lasting impact do you want to leave on people? I also see that you do need to get involved with people offline as well. Posting flyers up around your neighborhood would really benefit you, my love. 

Cards Used: The Emperor, Strength, 4 of Swords, The Devil, The Hanged Man, Judgment, Prince of Wands, Queen of Discs 

extras: orlando. drill rap. ohio. “earthy scents.” twisted tea. green giant. 

Pile Four: I actually feel like this pile is super close to meeting their goal number of clients. You have been putting in the right amount of work and therefore, you have been getting rewarded. But you need to learn how to network. I feel like this pile just needs to be at the right place at the right time. If you find yourself getting invited to an event that needs your skills, you should check it out. It’ll be the key to your big break. I also think that you should consider trading with other creatives to gain more clientele. Consider promoting other creatives’ work so that more people can come to you. I think it really all comes down to the timing of it all. But your time is pretty soon. You’re already eating good but soon you’ll be eating real good. There’s not really much you have to do but just show yourself off. 

Cards Used: Wheel of Fortune. The Magician. Queen of Discs. King of Wands. 7 of Discs. King of Discs. The Emperor.

extras: dill pickle. onion rings. pastel colors. breakfast foods. sizing issues.

[the1975attheirverybest]

I Miss You

A/N: based on this request.

Warnings: smut.

***

Matty's body jolted awake as the plane hurtled through another round of turbulence. The first thought that popped into his head as he woke up was that he missed her. He blinked slowly. The sunlight from the airplane window pierced through his eyelids. His headphones were still playing the music that he'd been listening to at takeoff. He'd only been out a few tracks so it can't have been that long of a nap. He can't wait to land at Heathrow and rush home to her arms. It's all that he can daydream about. All that he’s been dreaming about for a while. 

Every single piece of him ached for her. He's missed her voice. The signature scent of her body lotion. The roll of her eyes whenever he made a lame pun that she tries (but fails) not to laugh at. The feeling of her fingers running through his hair, lulling him to sleep.

He's really missed her.

Back at home, she'd missed him, too. She'd been counting down the hours until she could finally see him again. She'd even called Dirty Hit to ask what time the car was picking him up at the airport twice.

It'd been tough without him. It always is. But especially whenever work gets hectic, or she gets sick, or sad, and simply living her life feels overwhelming without him in it. Most of all she'd missed him in their shared bed. Missed sex. She couldn't wait to feel the weight of his body pinning her down. She couldn’t wait for his fingers to be wrapped around her neck, or pulling her hair. Or to drive him mad with a simple touch from her. To bring him to his knees and hear him moan and whimper for her. Things had gotten dire recently. A simple photo of him could send her head spinning.

Which is why he'd hardly made it all the way through the door before she was glued to him, kissing and moaning into his mouth.

Matty let out a shaky breath. "H-hi darling." He swallowed harshly. "Missed you."

"Missed you too." She whispered against his lips, kissing him again. "Missed you so much... need you so much.”

***

"You hungry?" She asked, scrolling the delivery app,

"I could get us something to eat."

Matty threw his travel clothes into the hamper, feeling several tons lighter. 

"Not really. The flight's kinda made me a bit- I dunno." He shrugged. "Nauseous, or whatever."

"My poor baby." She pouted, putting her phone down to look at him.

"Think I'll just shower and call it a night."

The words "shower" and "night" conjured up, in her mind, images of steam and rolling in bedsheets. She bit her lower lip. "May I join you?" Her lashing batted at him. 

The thought of her in there with him, wet skin to wet skin, her washing his hair for him, holding him under the torrent of hot, relaxing water. He could melt. "Of course. Always."

***

Matty stepped out of the bathroom, the cool air of the bedroom causing a shiver to run through him. He reached for his boxers, but she nudged them away.

"you won't be needing those just yet." She sank down to her knees

he smiled. "Is that so?”

“Tell me something, Matty.” She mused, her hand absentmindedly stroking him, fiddling with his third orgasm at her fingertips. “How often did you think about me while you were away, hmm?”

“Wh-what?”

She wasn’t sure if he was asking her to repeat because, in his struggle for self-composure,  he hadn’t heard her, if his ‘what?’was rhetorical, or if he was genuinely confused by her question. 

“I’m just asking.” She shrugged. “Because I dreamt about this for weeks. Could we get an orgasm out of you for each week? To, you know, make up for lost time?”

Matty swallowed harshly, shaking his head. "please. Please, may I cum? It's been- it's been so long. I'm so-*

she felt his cock twitch in her hand, precum bubbling at his tip.

"please, darling. Please. I- I'm so dizzy, I need- i can't anymore."

"Yes, you can." She stated calmly, admiring the way that his body shook in response to her touch.

"n-no. No, I mean it." He attempted to pull away from her but she squeezed him harder. "I- I can't hold it anymore- I'm gonna- I- need- to tap out. Stop. Can we stop? R-red. I'm calling red, please! Please, no more. I’m sorry- stop. Stop.” Matty let out a sob, repeating an endless string of words. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, no more. Please. No more. I can’t do it. I’m sorry.”

her blood ran cold hearing the safe word coming from him. For the first time ever. She paused instantly, retracting her hands and putting them up in the air where he can clearly see them. 

“Hey, hey, hey…look, look. Matty, look at me. We’ve stopped, okay?” She voice trembled.

She was stunned by how blank her mind had gone, instantly. Theoretically speaking, she knew what she ought to do. They’d spoken about it before. Endlessly. What should happen if one of them ever needed to stop. Logically, she knew that she needed to, first, make sure he wasn’t physically hurt or injured. Then, she needed to help calm him down. Those were the top two priorities that, in the clear minded agreements of the past, they’d both promised to abide by. Right now, though, all she could feel is all-consuming guilt and concern. Had she hurt him? Is he okay? Would he ever forgive her? Is she a monster? Why is she so selfish- worrying about herself when this is clearly about him?

“M-matty, baby, can- I ask what’s wrong?” She finally mustered after way too long. 

He blushed, sniffling, trying to stifle his cries. “I’m fine…it’s fine. Thank you for stopping. I just-“

“Was it too much? Are you hurt?” The thought made her physically sick “have I hurt you?”

He shook his head. “No, no. I’m alright. I just…I dont think we should’ve done that tonight.”

“Sorry, what?” She looked baffled. “I- don’t think I understand.”

Matty sat up straight, wiping at his face with the back of his hand and attempting to force himself to look into her eyes. “I’m not sure I wanted sex tonight. Or….i think-“

“What? You didn’t want-“

“I think I did- I do. Just….i had a different idea in my mind about what it would look like.”

“Did I force you- did you not-“ she caught herself getting angry and tried to breathe. “Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt. G- go on. You were saying…”

“Nothing. That’s it. I just mean- I want to be with you. Just maybe slower? Softer?” He blushed at his own words. “Sound like a fuckin virgin, don’t I?” 

He managed to pull a smile out of her. 

“I think we moved too fast. I- I’m feeling a bit vulnerable. But you were so excited and you said-“

“Fuck. I wouldn’t shut up about how long I’ve been waiting.” Realization hit her. 

“- and I thought that I’d get there eventually. If I just went with it, maybe my headspace would shift.”

“But it didn’t, did it?”

Matty exhaled a breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in, his shoulders feeling lighter. “Sorry.” His eyes look down. “It got more and more difficult as we went on. I- don’t know. It’s confusing. Usually, sex makes me feel close to you. This felt like I was farther and farther away. Scared myself a bit.”

She reached her hand out to caress his cheek as he spoke but decided against it, unsure if touching him was the right move right now. Matty saw her hesitation. He pulled her hand to his face, placing it there, kissing it out of the corner of his lips. 

“Can I ask- what do you need right now?” Her cheeks flushed as she spoke. 

Matty looked her dead in the eyes. “I need you.”

His words went straight to her head, making her dizzy. She loves him more than anything, it was terrifying sometimes. 

“Please? Just…gently this time? Is that alright?”

***

“Ready for me?” She waited for his eyes to flutter shut after he gave himself a tug and she placed small, soft kisses to his eye lids. 

“Mhm. So ready. Wanna feel you all around me, please.”

Slowly, she moved to straddle him, her hands placed on his abdomen for balance, she sunk down gradually, biting her lower lip. She didn’t want the sound of her own moans to take away the beauty of his. She reveled in the gasps he let out the further that she took him, hearing his voice get caught in his throat, watching his face scrunch up, his breath shake in his chest. 

“Ohhh…fuck- ing Christ!” He mumbled. 

“Almost forgot how tightly you fill me.” She whispered as if wanting it to stay a secret between them. the initial, slight, tinge of discomfort quickly fizzling into pleasure. “I’ve missed you so much.” 

Her hands rested at the base of his neck, her lips kissed along his jawline, hips rolling instinctively against his the more heated that she got. 

Matty groaned, surprised by the sudden movement. She felt it in the way that his jaw suddenly stiffened. 

“Shit- sorry. Too much?”

He giggled, shaking his head. “N-no. It’s good- Feels good.” A smile flashed across his face as he relaxed, letting himself be handled by her. “I can…take over, if-“

“No, no. I like this. I like being so close to you. On top of you. Filled to the brim with you.”

He’d attempted to reciprocate, but all that came out was incoherent moaning as her hips suddenly began to build momentum. Not that she minded. His words slurring with pleasure was the best compliment he could give her. Absolute music to her ears. 

She rested her head against his chest, tucked tightly underneath his chin, placing small kisses to his skin wherever possible as she rode him, breathlessly. 

“Matty, baby? Do you think- do you have it in you- I mean, I know that I’ve already made you cum before, but-“

“Mhm. Can do it again.” He nodded, beads of sweat dripping down the sides of his face. 

“Together, then?”

He smiled, feeling her clench around him, at this rate, he’d burst at any moment. “Y-yeah.” His arms wrapped around her, pulling her closer and pressing their chests together. 

“You feel so good it makes my head spin.” He whispered into her ear. “I swear it’s like you were made for me.”

She blushed, unable to help the smile that overtook her face. He knew what praise did to her. Her fingernails clawed at his chest desperately, sure to leave a mark. “I think I’m gonna- I’m ready to-“ she whispered. 

“Cum for me, darling. Let me feel you. Fuckin missed you. Missed this. Don’t think I’ll ever leave again.”