#long introspection is also really terrible for my attention span

[simkjrs]

can i ask you what your favorite tropes and dynamics are to read and to write in fic?

time-travel fix-its, especially ones where the protagonist completely upends the plot and rearranges events to their liking and to the confusion (and benefit) of everyone else 

nonhuman narrators!! when they’re done well, it’s just so funny. as an example, i propose you read always watching by burneraccount, which i consider to be the only good thing to ever come out of the gravity falls archive. and it is very good.

actually, i might as well modify that to interesting and immersive narrators. this, you protect by owlet is a great example of this, i love going back and soaking myself in the unconventional narrative voice of the story. 

characters written with mental illnesses, disorders, disabilities, etc. in a respectful manner, or by someone who has actually lived it themselves. (i particularly love the immortal nart fic in good company by weialala. dead-eyed tsuna by @micronecro​ is also super good and really fucking funny, and full of really great drama and worldbuilding. i say this very confidently from my position of never having watched or read KHR. quality transcends fandom though, i highly recommend it.) 

crossovers that end with everyone extremely confused, bewildered, and overwhelmed by the new turn of events. i hold up there may be some collateral damage by metisket as the pinnacle of all crossovers.

OC/SI stories. when written well, these stories really give rise to a thoughtful exploration of worldbuilding, character personalities, etc. and, as with crossovers and time-travel stories, they usually provide hilarious and ample opportunity to shake up the status quo. (see: faux by photojourney, freedom above all things by hellbeast)

trauma narratives. people dealing w/ trauma? people learning about their friends’ trauma and deciding to help? people having hard conversations about the stuff that’s happened to them? i’m fucking THERE. rewind (be kind) by donutsandcoffee, for example, or your helpful red hand by @truereset​ (my favorite ut fic ever). 

beyond that... i like fics that don’t take themselves too seriously, and manage to cause a lot of chaos while changing things for the better. 

[gaycatwizard]

I feel like "bad/flawed characters that are still likeable" are just some of the Best characters and tend to have a bit more emotional staying power, that they're more relatable and more interesting, more memorable. We need more of them, but they're really... hard to do? Not necessarily hard to make, but hard to do well. Because the amount of flaws and Badness (in a moral/philosophical sense, not quality of a character's design and personality) can vary so drastically, along with the amount of redeeming traits and their potency. It can be hard to want to "copy" or mimic the exact ratio from the character that inspired you. Tangent: it's fine to be inspired by one or more works. It's fine to allow it to influence your works. It's hard distinguishing from "I want to do x, but that's basically just rewriting one of my inspirations but with a palette swap" and "this inspires me so I want to use certain elements/themes/ideas/technical aspects of it." That's not the issue here, y'know. But like... I think the sheer variety you can have in Loveable Asshole characters like that, in the ratio of how bad and how good they are, is part of what makes them so interesting, so realistic, so powerful. Like... there are characters who are overall pretty good people, but are rough around the edges in a way that clearly makes them sympathetic and likeable. There are characters who are basically layer upon layer upon layer of mistakes, hatred, and bile with the tiniest nugget of good at the center, that you rarely get a glimpse of, but feel something raw and enthralling because of that. Like... I think Bojack Horseman is a good example, especially because it has a lot of different Likeable Bad People varieties and it does them all really well. Also Bojack Horseman is a good show and, not unlike JoJo's Bizarre Adventure, I want to talk about it at every given opportunity. Bojack himself is a cynical, selfish, destructive, defensive, spiteful, jealous, vain, self-loathing, stubborn piece of shit. He's a bad person and that's... kind of the point of the show. But his entire character, his entire arc that spans the whole of the series, revolves around the diamond buried deep in that rough. He wants to change, but he's so set in his negative ways (and so used to being surrounded by such negativity and toxicity) that he doesn't really know how. Every time he wants to change, he doesn't know how and fails to keep up with his new habits. Every time he's doing well and making progress, some external factor comes in and pushes him violently back down the mountain, back to square one. But he makes an effort, it's very obvious that he doesn't like being this way, that he regrets the things he does, that he feels remorse for the pain he's caused, and he does finally change and improve, things do finally get better for him. His foil (who has such an AMAZING dynamic and relative arc with him I could write a whole essay just on that), Mr. Peanutbutter, is sort of the exact opposite. They have similar careers and positions in the world, but everything goes right for Mr. Peanutbutter. Everyone likes him, everything is handed to him on a silver platter, he's perfect, he's happy, he's attractive, he's popular, he's everything Bojack isn't, and yet somehow he's drawn to Bojack and always wants to try and be his friend. But as Bojack slowly improves over the show and the softer, nicer, Better side of him becomes more and more prominent and common, the negative side of Mr. Peanutbutter slowly gets revealed over the show. He's also selfish and stubborn and stupid and persistent and dangerously disconnected from reality and his interpersonal skills are absolute shit. He puts on that act to make people like him. As the show goes on, it's slowly revealed that he doesn't really pay attention to the wants or needs of others, like, at all. That he only ever really cares about himself and just wants to do and be everything and anything as long as people like him and it makes him happy, regardless of who it hurts. It's amazing. It's in F is

for Family, too. Netflix Adult Animated Sitcoms are very often hit or miss, but these two are absolute homeruns. Frank, the protagonist, of F is for Family is selfish, violent, short-tempered, arrogant, judgmental, ignorant... but he's remorseful and introspective and intelligent and, in a very convoluted and misguided way most of the time, incredibly caring and devoted. He is a piece of shit and he's terrible, and a lot of why he's still likeable, why he's allowed to be so politically incorrect and abusive is due to the setting. Parenting norms were different back then and, now with hindsight, we know that those norms weren't good and you should NEVER hit or yell at or emotionally degrade your kids. The show is a perfect mix of "everyone is a product of their time and environment" and "no matter the time and place, people are people and we have the same thoughts and feelings and struggles," all without glorifying or excusing the terrible actions of the characters with the excuse of the time period or due to being "protagonists" or having redeeming traits. They're human, flawed, some incredibly so, and that's what makes it so good. It's part of why I like F is for Family more than most Adult Animated Family Sitcoms. You've got the typical stupid, selfish, arrogant, etc. Bad Dad and his Housewife, but there's still chemistry. They're still unique, three dimensional characters that clearly love each other and have a reason to still be together despite arguing and hardship. Same with how Frank and Sue treat their kids. They're not great parents, but they're trying to do their best (which isn't always good) and they do clearly love their kids and want the best for them. Their kids are resentful at times and hate their parents for some of the things they do, but they do stick together at the end of the day because there's that underlying realization that none of the mistreatment is done with malicious intent. That doesn't excuse it, but they're all just fucked up and trying to do their best. And they do have sad, relatable characters that are clearly bad people and aren't likeable, despite having sympathetic traits. Like Ginny. Her husband, that she loves dearly, is gay and simply doesn't love her the way she loves him, their marriage is hollow and empty. But she constantly forces her suffering on others, regardless of whether they want to hear it or are emotionally equipped to do so. Attempting to leave the conversation or explain that other people have problems too means, to Ginny, that you're a terrible human being who can't be there for someone in pain or that you're selfish and disgusting and never stop thinking of yourself. She has every right to be upset, but she takes it out on others and manipulates them, and that's not okay, and the show depicts it that way. There are so many options for character arcs with these characters, too. They don't even have to be related to their flaws, they can be entirely external or related to something like relationships or interests. You can show someone working on their flaws, acknowledging that they're not perfect and they might be bad, but that they want to do better and actively try to do so; they don't avoid responsibility or blame others, they own up to it and do their best to improve. Hell, even just coming to the realization that you are responsible for your actions, not anyone else, and that you have to put in effort to change could be that arc. You can have someone get worse, whether an intentional path of bad decisions without regard for others or a failure to understand which decisions are right. Some people have redeeming traits, but still aren't redeemable. Some people don't get better. Some people still get better, but get worse first. There are so many real, relatable options that show the darker, uglier side of life that we so desperately want to experience and perceive (likely due to the cathartic and taboo aspects), and bringing up flaws and shortcomings and anything else in this context can start interesting conversations and challenge

us to think about things we may not have before, or from a new perspective.

[coquelicoq]

39 & 55 please ^^

ooh, thanks! you have come through for me again!!

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

okay, do i believe in them like i think that the date i was born has some kind of bearing on my personality? no. (this could be because i’m Big Salty about how, as a capricorn, i’m supposed to be sooo ambitious but am actually...the opposite of that lol.) i think we all have a mix of traits and we like being able to place ourselves within some kind of organized model of traits, and it’s nice to have a shorthand for talking about aspects of personality that we find salient. but like, if i see a “the signs as” post, often i relate to some other sign more than capricorn (but if i DO relate to the capricorn part, i get excited and reblog it haha). (also - the only zodiac i know anything about is the greek one, so idk enough about any of the other systems to have an opinion! but if they are also based on when you’re born, then i think my thoughts would be the same.)

but do i find value in horoscopes? yeah, sometimes. i don’t think that the capricorn horoscope has anything to do with me personally, but i will sometimes use it as a prompt for introspection. (i imagine i could do this just as easily with the horoscope for any other sign, but i don’t have the attention span to be reading 12 horoscopes lol.) when i come across a horoscope in the paper, i’ll read the one for capricorn (and then, out of habit, the one for my ex-boyfriend’s sign) and i’ll think about whether it seems relevant to my life and whether i want it to be true. i find that an interesting exercise in making myself reflect on my life in ways that might not always occur to me on my own. but it depends on the horoscope - this really only works with the more philosophical ones.

55: When did you feel happiest?

wow, tough question. i think i would have to say a road trip i took with my friend in high school to crater lake, where we camped for a couple of nights. it’s one of the most beautiful places i’ve ever been, and i felt very content and at peace while i was there with her. i don’t even really remember many details - i remember we went hiking, and we watched the sunrise, and she was teaching me to french braid hair, and there was a sign on one of the paths that was supposed to say CAUTION but the N had worn away so it just said CAUTIO, which is a latin word and i was really delighted by that for some reason. probably the biggest part of it though is that i was spectacularly in love with her, and i was just so happy to have a couple of days to spend with her in a calm and beautiful place. we had a terrible falling out years later and aren’t friends anymore, and for a long time i couldn’t think about this trip or other happy memories without pain, but i’m to the point where i can appreciate it again and i’m very glad for that, because it was a happy time in my life no matter what came after it.

[makeste]

self-promote as if I were to die

Hey guys, so I’m going to do something I don’t think I've ever done this blatantly on this blog, which is to shamelessly self-promote my own fanfics. And the reason I am doing so is because I have actually written a new fic (see the bottom of this post for more details), for the first time since 2010 (I'm not counting the crack stuff in this case). And I am very excited, but also nervous, because after eight years of inactivity, I’m basically diving into an entirely different fandom landscape. And I think I am currently “known” (so to speak) mostly for my recaps and crackfics, as opposed to a bunch of character studies and angst pieces I wrote like ten fucking years ago lol.

So! These are my fanfic archives:

Archive of our Own

Fanfiction.Net

Livejournal

Themes I tend to write about (and some recs):

Character Studies: When I first started writing KHR stuff, I did a bunch of these. This was back before I had the attention span and confidence to try writing longer fics, but I think these are still pretty good.

Rec:

Dieci Anni - introspective piece on Gokudera and the contrasts between his 14 and 24-year-old selves

Gen: SO MUCH GEN. I love friendship. I mean, like romance too, but I just don’t write much of it.

Rec:

Invincible - 8059 car chase in Italy, because it’s the mafia and you gotta have a car chase at some point damn it

8059 Gen: Yeah I’ve written enough of this that it probably warrants calling it out as a specific genre fave of mine. I will take 8059 friendship in any and all forms. Friendship, fluff, rivals, brothers in arms, partners in crime, shoulders to cry on; you name it and I’ve probably written it.

Rec:

Indeterminism - um. This one is a bit harder to describe. It’s Yamamoto first-person POV, and the premise is that he’s somehow died?? Apparently?? but somehow Gokudera can see and talk to his “ghost” self, and then after a bit they get it into their heads to try and go back in time to stop Yamamoto from ever dying to begin with, and things get really kooky from there because time travel physics yep yep. This is currently my favorite thing that I’ve written up til now.

Angst: For the most part nothing too extreme, but I really dig characters having minor emotional crises and being bailed out by their loyal friends (and/or pragmatic but secretly loving infant tutors).

Rec:

Please Give the Name of the Person Who Referred You - this takes place immediately post-Future Arc and features Tsuna freaking out because he killed someone (Byakuran! Yeah, this was before he inexplicably returned) for the first time ever

First Kills: Another specific genre for you. I’ve written three of these, one for each of the main trio. Idk. They’re in the mob and sometimes I just want them to act like it (but then freak out and wrestle with their emotions after).

Rec:

The Test - and here we have Yamamoto’s first kill, during which he freaks out about how much he is not freaked out, because lol natural born hitman and all that

Being Mean to Yamamoto: The most specific genre of all. I don’t know why I’m so compelled to fuck around with this kid all the time. Probably because he’s so naturally angst-resistant that I just can’t help but want to throw terrible situations at him just to see how he would react if shit ever really hit the fan.

Rec:

Down the Stairs - this is an alternate-timeline fic in which Yamamoto’s dad was killed by the Ninth’s son Enrico, resulting in Yamamoto siding against Tsuna and Gokudera in the resulting Vongola civil war. I will also tell you right now that this features a major character death so if that’s an immediate ‘no’ from anyone I completely understand

Lastly, here’s a barefaced plug for my soon-to-be-posted new fic, because I’ve had this idea in my head for more than six years, and I’ve finally managed to get it all on paper, and it's very, very long, and I put a lot of love and thought and planning into it so fuck modesty. I am a strong, independent woman who... uh...

...SO YEAH, I WROTE A NEW FIC, AND IT FEATURES:

805927 Gen - That's right, all three of these losers. The last two canon arcs did not focus on this trio much, due to having too many additional characters to keep track of, so you can be damn sure I aimed to do otherwise, because I love them.

Post-Series Plot - One of the good things about KHR having ended (sob why does the wound still feel fresh) is that I can take the story in any direction I want to from here and not have to worry about canon trying to undo all of my hard work for once. So this takes place about three months after the end of the series. There are new bad guys and a new threat which is more personal than in previous canon arcs.

Italy - This takes place in motherfucking Italy

Headcanon - Ohhhh man. Okay so have you ever had a headcanon so powerful that you couldn’t escape it and it just grew and grew and eventually became canon!canon to you, but it was also so fucking convoluted that you felt like you couldn’t ever explain it to someone else without writing a 50k word fic about it so you could show how it all would make sense? I’m sure that’s a problem everyone has had. Anyway yeah so this features my giant headcanon which I’ve held secret and safe for more than half a decade but am now finally presenting to the world for approval and/or sound rejection.

Gokudera’s Past - Oh right, and the headcanon is all about Gokudera’s past

27 Character Development - So I also have some thoughts on Tsuna and his steadfast refusal to accept the title of Vongola X even after everything he’s been through, and what it might take for him to begin to change his mind. And this is another thing that I for some reason found easier to explain via a novel-length story rather than just writing meta like normal people. So yeah.

5927 (Friendship) - For ten fucking years I’ve insisted to people that while I endgame 8059, I also totally support 5927. And then I’ve proceeded to write nothing but 8059 content. The problem is that I’ve always thought there was some development missing between Tsuna and Gokudera that was needed in order to truly make it work. But to make that development happen, I needed a massive, angsty plot to act as the impetus. So that’s literally the only reason why I’ve never written 5927 before, but now it is finally happening so strap in. (Though I should repeat that in terms of story this development is strictly gen, like every other damn thing I write.)

A Yamamoto Fight - Oh you bet

Angst - Of fucking course

So! I will be posting part one of that tomorrow. Ha ha ha I hope there is some interest, but if not at least I finally got it out of my brain and it feels fucking good.

ETA: Here's the link to part 1 of Blood of the Covenant over on Archive of our Own: Link.

[solscript-solitariusscriptor]

8.8.2018

 Been avoiding writing for a long time. Seems to be the case when it comes to it. I like it though, but what I don’t like is the person I encounter along the road of writing. Myself. I tend to really be super introspective when it comes to this sort of thing. Lately I’ve been trying to be more positive in my actions and aware of what I need to do to stay on the right track. I want this to be short, but Idk. So much has been going on in my mind that I don’t know where to start.

From going from job to job, being unemployed, failing at school, generally sucking at life from years back. Being a horrible person in small ways that have stacked themselves overtime to affect me in different thought patterns and manifested through actions. These ranged from being a terrible boyfriend, a terrible friend, and an even shittier person. I’d beat myself up for it in different ways through neglect, mental anguish, and physical neglect as well (I literally lost weight and nearly got muscle atrophy). Refused to eat sometimes, didn’t socialize, just felt like I as generally broken in a lot of ways. Perhaps I was, but I kept blaming myself instead of taking responsibility of it. I don’t know, and I don’t want to get into the details of each one, at least not yet. This spanned years, and I’m just taking my time to actually write some of them out.

I am really trying my best to do things one step at a time. I’m going back to doing what I enjoy (exercise, reading, writing, drawing.) I’m working my goals, (got a Driver’s License so I can travel more and perhaps get better jobs as well), no longer on Academic Probation and passed out 2 levels of Remedial Math this year (Summer 2018, got one last level in Algebra and Trig now if I pass that I’ll be College Level ready, Precalculus). Did I mentioned that me a math-phobe doing well in math. Ah thank you Barbara Oakley her book A Mind for Numbers really changed my thinking in many different ways for academics. I just gotta keep the ball rolling.

Being attentive to people’s needs is also one I’m trying to get better at. Actually taking the time to listen to people’s problems, have conversations, encourage dialogue of sensitive topics (mental issues, body issues, emotional distress, etc.) I’m no psychologist but I do my best to try to be there for those who at least want to have an ear my friends are my priority. I also am working on realizing that not everyone who talks really intends to use your time well. I’ve wasted my time with people before, intimately/non-intimate it may happen again, but I’ll just be more careful in how I react to it, and just be more responsible.

Been reading more, the books I went through/working my way through are helping me really realign my thinking in more constructive ways. I don’t want to be forgiven for the things I’ve done, because I cannot take those things back, but I really hope that I can do my best to try to be a more positive influence in other people’s lives. Krishnamurti Think on These Things, Mark Manson’s The Subtle art of Not Giving a F*ck. Viktor E Frankl Man’s search for Meaning, among other titles and articles. I’m just trying to really just work on my self-improvement more. Slowly but surely I’m taking my time to get back into the ways of getting working out the big wrongs that I am doing so I can be less wrong. I’m not perfect, no one really is, I’ve got a ways to go.

Art is a part of my life now, it always will be and I have made good friends through it. I started an Art Group for it, and met amazing people through it. It’s not really an escape anymore as much as it is something that I want to have in my life for the rest of my life. I don’t know how I want go about it yet. Perhaps making a little sketchbook of sorts for people to view will be great. It’ll help people understand what I enjoy and also help me figure out where I could go. I’ll try to make it appeal to as wide as an audience as I can. It’s just a little goal I hope to achieve by the Winter of this year.

All in all, I hope everyone is working towards their goals, little by little each step forward is an accomplishment.

Thank you for reading.

[chiefcupcakeavenue-blog]

Reading

Intelligence is a fascinating topic to me. 

Man distinguishes himself from animals by his superior working memory, logical-mathematical thinking, and abstract thought. Many are also aware that intelligence considers many other domains such as emotional intelligence, which all-together influences not just our capacity for achievement, but our very perceptions of self and others. It also affects our capacity for deep introspection, to develop the complex moral principles and nuances we call “our humanity”.  Man defines himself very much by his intelligence, albeit in different aspects of it at different times. For someone to be proclaimed as being more intelligent is to encounter someone who is seemingly inherently superior in many of the attributes by which we define ourselves. 

Despite knowing otherwise, we also naturally hold great expectations of these geniuses, expecting their potential to be fully realised as great achievement. In societies built on (and many times, saved by) achievement,we can’t help but be curious about precisely what intelligence is, and perhaps, how to obtain more of it.

While reading this book, I’d like to make sure I remember this quote I found online a few months ago.

“ It's easy to trick ourselves into thinking that "being smart" is what determines our performance. In so many ways, it's the easiest possible explanation because it demands so little of us and immediately explains away our failings. You are facing this tension without recognizing it. You are blaming your intelligence but you undermine yourself by saying you received good grades you didn't deserve. You recognize your lack of motivation as a factor in your lack of extracurricular activities but not in your SAT scores.

You got A's because you studied or because the classes were easy. You got a B probably because you were so used to understanding things that you didn't know how to deal with something that didn't come so easily. I'm guessing that early on you built the cognitive and intellectual tools to rapidly acquire and process new information, but that you've relied on those tools so much you never really developed a good set of tools for what to do when those failed. This is what happened to me, but I didn't figure it out until after I got crushed by my first semester of college. I need to ask you, has anyone ever taken the time to teach you how to study? And separately, have you learned how to study on your own in the absence of a teacher or curriculum? These are the most valuable tools you can acquire because they are the tools you will use to develop more powerful and more insightful tools.

MIT has an almost 97% graduation rate. That means that most of the people who get in, get through. Do you know what separates the 3% that didn't from the rest that do? I do. I've seen it so many times, and it almost happened to me. Very few people get through four years of MIT with such piss-poor performance that they don't graduate. In fact, I can't think of a single one off the top of my head. People fail to graduate from MIT because they come in, encounter problems that are harder than anything they've had to do before, and not knowing how to look for help or how to go about wrestling those problems, burn out. The students that are successful look at that challenge, wrestle with feelings of inadequacy and stupidity, and begin to take steps hiking that mountain, knowing that bruised pride is a small price to pay for getting to see the view from the top. They ask for help, they acknowledge their inadequacies. They don't blame their lack of intelligence, they blame their lack of motivation.

You're so young, way too young to be worried about not being smart enough. Until you're so old you start going senile, you have the opportunity to make yourself "smarter." And I put that in quotes because "smart" is really just a way of saying "has invested so much time and sweat that you make it look effortless." You feel like you are burnt out or that you are on the verge of burning out, but in reality you are on the verge of deciding whether or not you will burn out. It's scary to acknowledge that it's a decision because it puts the onus on you to to do something about it, but it's empowering because it means there is something you can do about it.”

Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults by Dr James T. Webb

Many independent thinkers are incorrectly diagnosed as having disorders. They are given stigmatising labels that result in unnecessary, harmful treatment, and they do not receive the unique education they need. Others are able to compensate for their disorders with their intelligence, letting others mistake them to be simply quirky or strange. These misdiagnoses stem from the ignorance amongst caregivers, peers, and healthcare professionals about the characteristics of gifted people. 

Characteristics of gifted individuals

Gifted individuals are those who demonstrate outstanding achievement or ability to learn in specific domains. There is great diversity in the abilities of gifted individuals. Generally, the characteristics listed should be present more frequently and intensely in a gifted child, at an earlier point in their lives. Moreover, we must remember that IQ scores should not be equated with either mental disability or giftedness.

Behavioral

Unusually large vocabularies and complex sentence structure

Greater comprehension of subtleties of language

Longer attention span and persistence

Wide range of interests

Curious

Divergent thinking and action

A few of these characteristics increase the probability of socioemotional difficulties:

Drive to challenge personal ability

Search for understanding and consistency

Perception of alternative possibilities

Emotional intensity

Concern with social and moral issues

Therefore, the talents of gifted individuals frequently become detrimental to their adjustment. Nonetheless, giftedness should not be used to excuse inappropriate behavior. Rather, it reframes preexisting problems for targeted solutions.

The gifted are also more likely to have heightened experiences of /responses to stimuli, perceived as overexcitability.

Intellectual

Enthusiasm towards problem solving, theoretical thinking and introspection.

Imaginative

Detailed imagination, dramatic perception, resulting in fantasy play and unusual use of metaphor.

Emotional

Strong emotional attachments to their surroundings.

Auditory sequential and visual spatial learning have replaced traditional left right brain models, but they continue to be overly simplistic metaphor to understand learning, with no legitimate neurological basis.

Idealism combined with the intensity of gifted individuals can lead to disillusionment, interpersonal tension and depression. They can envision how things ought to be, but also how far things fall below the established standard. They can be profoundly disappointed to discover how the people around them fall short of their ideals and the hypocrisy or inconsistencies in their actions, becoming cynical or depressed and choosing to live in private spheres within their means of control.

They experience frustration to know that their peers do not share their interests. They may respond by reading or seeking adults as interest peers rather than age peers.

Gifted children frequently have great variations in abilities within themselves, because they do not develop equally across various skills, to the point where they may have below average aptitudes in other domains. They are often keenly aware of this asymmetry. They are also likely to regard tasks that come easily to them as trivial and only value those they find challenging intensely due to their perfectionism, which makes them vulnerable to learned helplessness.

The development of judgement might lag behind intellectual development in gifted children, resulting in smart children who seem to lack common sense. The maturation of the frontal lobe responsible for complex mental processes is delayed in gifted children, yet it occurs at a faster rate once the process begins. One should not expect equivalent socioemotional maturity in gifted children. Their delayed maturity and the lack of exposure to interpersonal situations may instead lead to a below average interpretation and prioritisation of unwritten social rules. The intellectual curiosity or moral concerns of gifted individuals may also override their judgement of social scenarios, leading to inappropriate behavior.

The wide variety of interests they have may cause them to be fragmented as they are unable to commit to ambition. Their plans are difficult to perceive as they seem to be intensely interested in different areas at different times. They struggle with multipotentiality, where they see opportunity in diverse disciplines but struggle with scheduling the required training. This may manifest in the form of multiple career changes. When they do find interests, they pursue them with a focus bordering on obsessive. 

Their interests and behavior are  more androgynous than that of their peers, being widely distributed across genders, in turn causing peers to question sexual orientation.

While there is significant likelihood of misdiagnoses if there is educational misplacement or lack of peer understanding, gifted individuals seem to have lower risk of developing disorders when their needs are met.

Their emotional intensity and idealism makes them vulnerable to adverse childhood experiences and exploitation.

Misdiagnosis and dual diagnoses

The frequency of misdiagnoses are unknown but perceived as substantial, which imply terrible implications for those diagnosed with disorders medicated with behavior modifying drugs with unknown long term effects.

The tendency for professionals to overdiagnose is partly due to a great increase in the number of disorders documented in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, with a parallel increase in prescriptions for psychotropic medications.

Besides the aforementioned professional ignorance, emphasis is placed on individuals who function slightly below average in ability during clinical training.

Gifted children may have a history of conflicting diagnoses where each captures some aspect of their behavior while reinforcing the perception that their behaviors are symptoms of pathological disorders, especially ADHD, ASD and OCD 

ADHD

The report of gifted behaviors overlapping with ADHD may prompt a medication trial. Medication may change problem behaviors, resulting in the assumption that the diagnosis was correct, even though ADHD medication improves the attention span of anyone. One should also beware the reliability of checklist driven assessment instead of neuropsychological evaluations.

Hyperfocus is an anomaly in ADHD sufferers where they show unusually high concentration. Hyperfocus is more likely to occur during events that are inherently engaging. Preservation is the inability of one to be sensitive to relevant environmental feedback, leading to difficulty in changing between states of mind and tasks. This may manifest in the pursuit of failing strategies. ADHD is thus defined by the inability to regulate attention to tasks not inherently rewarding or those which require conscientious effort, and the inability to prioritize. 

A point that distinguishes the gifted from those with ADHD is that ADHD sufferers are highly inconsistent in the quality or efficiency of their performance in a task at multiple sittings. They are usually unaware of when they are inattentive or impulsive, preventing self remediation based on consequences. 

Anger

Gifted children have a strong sense of self and expect to be treated as adults. Their independent will makes them more likely to be judgmental, oppose adult instruction or argue, and to have strong beliefs about morality. They can be black and white in thought and rude and dismissive in style to stay faithful to their beliefs.

Protracted conformity requires great expenditure of mental and emotional energy for the gifted that hurts all who are involved, known as deviance fatigue. There are many gifted children whose selfishness, manipulation, rebelliousness, etc are a result of boredom and humiliation.

They often respond well to appeals to empathy. Caregivers should sidestep the oppositional behavior of gifted children, allowing them the freedom to integrate their experiences with their knowledge, so as to develop maturity independently.

Narcissism

Narcissism can be benign or malignant. Some degree of benign narcissism is a normal developmental characteristic amongst teenagers. To develop one's abilities to make a difference takes substantial time and effort and an intense self belief that imply self-centered introspection and selectively ignoring the duties and people around them, leading to a loss of intimacy and perceptions of narcissism. To the narcissist, how things appear are more important than the reality, while gifted individuals are concerned with far reaching implications of real world actions. The gifted tend to develop their abilities without regard for others' opinion, with an idealistic drive towards self actualisation

OCD

A gifted person may not see certain peculiar rituals as excessive or unreasonable, instead being able to describe elaborately how her actions rationally contribute to established goals. These rituals tend to be engineered rather than unproductive or therapeutic.

ASD

When with others who share their interests, ASD people will continue to exhibit social ineptitude with a wide range of peers. The gifted are more likely to be socially sensitive, with peers and some satisfying social interaction. They also have great insight into the perception of others, manifested  perhaps in the struggle of making choices toward achievement which affect their need for affiliations, therefore showing Theory of Mind. Even gifted introverts who is socially satisfied with 1 friend will be aware of and possibly distressed by her differences. They can talk about their interests with evident excitement instead of monotone, elaborate on the cause of their interests and react to peer response. Introverts can demonstrate insight instead of trivia when asked, and good social skills when with interest peers or good friends.

Schizoid personality disorder

A sufferer is unable to prefer companionship over isolation, while the gifted actively make choices which best fit the situation. The choice of isolation may be frequent and seem pathological when the child has no interest peers. The desire for solitude seems to not only be a frequent characteristic of the gifted, but an essential aspect of adult achievement. The gifted also show a distinguishing sensitivity to praise and criticism not shown by those with schizoid disorder.

Bipolar

Bipolar disorder is generally recognised as affecting adults, with average age of onset being 18-25 years. With relatively little research and no diagnostic criteria for children, diagnoses of BD in children are questionable.

The mood swings of the gifted occur as responses to external stimuli instead of being due to a pervading mood, hence changing rapidly in a single day or on a regular basis, similiar to that of borderline personality disorder. Behaviors such as outbursts, depressive moods, or anxiety can be caused by exhaustion when gifted children suffer burnout, since their perfectionism makes them vulnerable to pushing themselves beyond their abilities.

Learning disabilities

The gifted can be learning disabled as well, which should not be dismissed as an effect of asynchronous development. Those able to compensate learning disability with giftedness in early to secondary education have both their giftedness and disabilities overlooked, even when they struggle with increasingly challenging work. 

The effect of disabilities on later performance prompts others to question their giftedness instead of supporting their disabilities. Their tendency for introspection make them vulnerable to imposter syndrome from the irony of being gifted, yet having great difficulty with seemingly easy tasks. 

The key diagnostic criteria for these twice exceptional people is achievement much lower than measured potential, even when the "low" achievement is average amongst peers. 

Comprehensive testing is needed to determine appropriate interventions. Standard IQ tests alone will not effectively differentiate giftednedness or learning disabilities.

If ability and achievement within specific domains are substantially different instead of differing between domains indicating asynchrony, there may be learning disability.

Early evaluation and identification of the twice exceptional child saves years of frustration and prevents plummeting self esteem.

Relationships

On the whole, the gifted are generally mentally and emotionally healthy, with wholesome relationships. However, gifted individuals may exhaust their family members with their unique mental and emotional needs, annoy them by questioning and challenging them, or simply intimidate them.

When parents first recognise the giftedness of their child, they do not know the typical characteristics to expect. Their deviant interests and strong willed pursuit of them make it difficult for parents when they fail to influence their child with their personal hopes or when they do not want their child to pay the price for deviancy. Nonetheless, discipline is needed to develop talent. Major parental involvement is important for the development of exceptional talent. In discipline, gifted children respond best to consistent intellectual argument. They must not be more a friend than a parent, or manipulated by the admiration of their child's abilities. Being gifted does not excuse socially inappropriate behavior.

The expectations of gifted children about friendships tend to be different from their peers, some of them forming unique concepts of or requirements for friendship.

Many misdiagnoses occur when only symptoms are used to make them without considering origin or context. A pediatric neuropsychologist looks at different functional areas instead of focussing on issues within their area of expertise. Management of symptoms without understanding origin of behavior must be avoided.

Seeking an appropriate specialist is difficult, but they can be an enduring resource well worth the cost when intervention prevents potentially prolonged frustration faced by the patient and her peers. When seeking treatment, clear questions and goals should be established.

[nerdyskeleton]

ALL of the author asks

all right, you anonymous rogue, let’s do this. under the read more for length. I’m answering this instead of doing my accounting homework mua ha ha. But thanks in advance for asking for these it made me feel really nice and it was so fun!!!

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

Ah I mean not really? I have a bunch of ideas bouncing around, but I don’t have the time or the energy to sit down and start another multichap really. Still recovering from the last one haha. Plus I need to have the main story planned out before I start writing, as well as most of the big details, so I don’t want to start something without knowing where I want to ehh vaguely end up.

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

oh my god. Everything that’s on ff.net. I wrote SUCH garbage from like 13-16(?) it’s just all such a disaster. But there’s quite a few multichaps there that are complete so I’m proud of little me completing those haha. But it’s all SO cringe-worthy.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

(lol “““““book”““““) I do write from beginning to end! Sometimes if there’s a scene I suddenly have a really good idea for I will sit down and get most of it out, or at least jot down some notes for what I want to happen. But I try to write in the order of the story so that I can update consistently! And I try really hard to write ahead, like I didn’t start posting School Daze until I had a few chapters as back up, so I could work on the future ones as I updated weekly, like a bad ass.

4) favorite character you’ve written

I LOVE writing Trucy. She’s one of my favorite characters in the whole AA series - she’s just so fun and lovely. Plus it’s fine to like write a regular person instead of prissy ass Edgeworth or Blackquill.

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

I mean I personally never expected to go as hard with Blackmadhi as I did and in such a short time span either!! I’ve written 80k of Blackmadhi in 2 months like girl can you cool it for a minute? Also I didn’t like Blackquill AT ALL while playing DD so the fact that I’m such a thirsty bitch for him is surprising to me. Here we are though.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

tbh I don’t tell anyone really! Well, not people who are already confirmed dorks like me. Mostly because I don’t want to get into the “oh what do you write?” conversation hahaha. “uh…..gay lawyer fanfic?”

8) favorite genre to write

Hmm…….I mean I’ll go for angst and hurt/comfort all day long, because there’s nothing more satisfying to me when I do something terrible to the characters, everyone gets mad at me for it, and then I fix it later on with a happy little scene of pure love and compassion between the characters.

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

Hm. I’ll normally put on some Disney music, because that has been my go-to inspiring music for a very long time. Sometimes I’ll go back and reread some parts of whatever I have written recently to be like “Look! You actually like this part! Write more so you can keep feeling this way!” Or I’ll read the last bits of the last update to remember where I was even going with the plot line LMAO

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I like to write with music! It has to be very specific music though. Being with people who are also writing/being productive helps, so then I feel obligated to get stuff done too haha.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

??? man I have no clue. I guess I’m pretty good with like……not sweating the little stuff. If I feel like I don’t have much sentence variation in one paragraph, I leave it, because it’s okay. Not everything has to be poetic (literally NOTHING I write is poetic). I feel like I make up for it later on with a paragraph with better flow. I hope. Idk these things, friends.

12) your weaknesses as an author

I guess like……descriptions?? Both like physical background descriptions like where they are, because I feel like knowing the scenery can be pretty important. but also like facial and behavioral descriptions too? Like sometimes I’m too lazy to find the exact word I want so I just pick a generic one and move on. I love getting things done, so sometimes the quality isn’t what it could be because I just like finishing things hahaha.

13) your strengths as an author

I’m pretty good with writing things out the way I want them the first time, because if I’m going to write I want it to be right (hehe). Obviously I go back and edit things to tweak it, but if I’m sitting down to write something, I don’t want to half-ass it and come back to it later. I HATE finally finishing some huge ass 12k chapter and then remembering I left a scene unfinished because then that means I’m NOT DONE AHHH.

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

Not really! Mostly because I can never just like listen to whatever music I want. I listened to Hozier for a month straight as I finished up School Daze because for some reason that smooth hipster really did it for me.

15) why did you start writing?

Who knows man!! But it’s fun!! I got super into a book series called Skulduggery Pleasant like it was my first HARDCORE FANDOM that I wrote for. My ff.net is under the same name if anyone wants so suffer through it. Let me know if you do because it’s all disgusting and I want to laugh about it. But ALSO it’s all really problematic so please don’t judge 13 year old me okay thanks.

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

LMAO WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THIS.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

oh man…..keep on sticking with it man. I’m glad you are writing (even if present me thinks it’s god awful) because you made so many friends and really learned a lot, actually. Good on you for doing what you want to do. Maybe also stop thinking of yourself as the greatest fanfic writer of all time I mean just maybe, girl.

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

Yeah, Skulduggery Pleasant again! The author, Derek Landy, writes so sarcastically and I guess kind of simple (not like bad simple haha). I would just crack up every few minutes reading the series so I wanted to be that funny author with clever little deadpan lines like him. idk if I succeeded haha.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

I have a separate document where everything is planned out. Well, not everything, but the majority of stuff. For School Daze, I always wanted to have the next two chapters planned out from where I was currently. I just always gotta know where I’m headed so I don’t get anything mixed up or forget anything.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

It depends! Both usually just depending on the time. I write for a looong time on weekends like a loser with nothing else to do, but if I have like twenty minutes to kill between stuff I’ll think up some lines or finish planning out a scene.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

I literally cannot stop laughing at it. I guess it’s not BAD like my grammar was always good and I tried really hard but just like…….I know I thought I was the fanfic SHIT back then so I’m just like “Laura like how could you ever let other people see this???? it makes no sense!!!!!!”

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

I guess kind of the usual suspects…..No non-con, incest, underage stuff. I don’t write it, so I’m never uncomfortable with it!

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

Hmm not really?? Not too obscure, but I took a looong break from writing mostly because I fell out of that Skulduggery Pleasant fandom and I got super depressed in high school. So now that I’m way better, I really enjoy writing again because I remembered the old feelings of being SO happy when I got a review on ff.net. Makes me feel 13 again, which is actually pretty regrettable.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Ah not really! I don’t write too much stuff that needs expertise (and also tbh I haven’t written that much like idk what I’m doing here) but also I’m just a lazy shit and will look up the minimum required information for what I need to get done hahaha.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of“Meaning, Miles concluded, that she expressed a very high level of care and compassion for nearly everything in her life. Soon, her thousands of questions in class made sense, because she just wanted to understand the information to the highest degree. And now that Miles was witnessing nearly a private glimpse into the art teacher’s collage project, he saw the same level of attention that Trucy bestowed on her own projects in Phoenix, as well.With this knowledge, Miles assumed, logically, that Phoenix had been the one to impart this trait into her. And from their date, he now knew the man had taken her in unexpectedly and still managed to raise her right.Phoenix Wright was clearly not only an amazing father and art teacher, but also a wonderfully kind, considerate, and determined individual. How could Miles not be drawn physically and mentally to the man?” I really liked this paragraph, because this was a part of the first time that I had written as Miles Edgeworth and had taken a very long chunk of time to go into some gay-ass introspection. Thought it turned out pretty well???

[norihisahyuga-archived]

An Arrangement (4/?)

Matsuoka Masahiro/Nagase Tomoya Tokio 2000~ words. Sfw.

Masahiro Matsuoka is an incubus who just wants a casual partner, too tired to hunt down his meals individually and leery of those who form attachments too easily. Tomoya Nagase laughs at the idea of attachment; everyone has always sent him away when they are done with him, so he has no reason to try anymore. Their situations suit each other perfectly. Unfortunately, they also suit each other perfectly, and that was something neither of them expected. For @chlance​ of course.

Their first week together is peaceful, more a process of getting to know each other than anything else. It’s also a process of stealing Mabo’s clothes and rolling himself around in them until Mabo never leaves the house without smelling at least faintly of Tomo’s scent.

Mabo has a beautiful house, certainly, and it’s lived in, which is nice to see considering how many houses Tomo has seen in the past that have been lovely but cold and sterile, more of an illusion than a home. It made him nervous to make mistakes, to touch without having had permission first, as if even a single smudged fingerprint might shatter the entire illusion.

Not so here at Mabo’s. Tomo is stretched across the couch when Mabo returns from making a run to the store to pick up a few things. He leaves the houses as he pleases to roam the city and meet up with the occasional friend— usually Tatsu— but he’s also grown fond of lounging on the furniture.

Shige had promised to come by and check in on them tomorrow, and Tomo is excited to see him. Though Shige lives in the city— at least, for now— he keeps to himself. He’s been quieter and more introspective lately than he ever has in the entire time Tomo has known him.

Tomo supposes he understands, though. He’s lived a long life himself, and though he’s found ways to change things, to make things exciting, everyone experiences that lulling period of time stretching out in front of you infinitely, and everyone has to figure out how to deal with that.

He wants to ask Mabo how he had come to deal with it, because Tomo had dealt with it… Less well than he would have liked and only the fact he wasn’t human kept him out of a mental hospital. They can only commit their own, a law that had passed when it became clear that humans could not be trusted where vulnerable supernatural beings were concerned. Tomo can relate to that in more ways than one, though he doesn’t much like to linger on those thoughts.

But Mabo is smiling, hair ruffled from the wind outside, so Tomo pushes himself up off of the couch and comes to meet him, peeling his scarf away from his throat so he can kiss the warm, soft skin beneath. Ironically, he might have been the one who told Mabo he needed to be held to make their agreement work, but now he finds himself intent on touching Mabo as much as he can, everything from their fingers brushing to out and out wrapping himself around the incubus. He can’t help but notice the way Mabo leans into it, and he wonders what kind of intimacy a sex demon has been able to achieve when Tomo is, as far as he knows, the first partner to stay.

From experience, he knows that it’s different having someone to come home to as opposed to just someone to warm the sheets. It’s a service he didn’t realize he’d be fulfilling when Mabo had come to him, but he finds he doesn’t mind so much because Mabo pulls him close, hands smoothing up and down his back. He hadn’t pegged Mabo to be a cuddly type, had figured he’d have to nudge him into remembering his duties, but Mabo has performed admirably in that department.

“It’s starting to get cold,” Tomo muses, brushing his nose against Mabo’s, which is cold against his skin, and he frowns down at Mabo’s light sweater. “You bitch at me about keeping my ears and tail warm and you go out like that? You’re not a fire demon, Mabo, I know your kind still get cold from the fact you wrap around me like an octopus every time you fall asleep.”

Mabo rolls his eyes but smiles just the same. “I never said I wasn’t a bit of a hypocrite.”

“I’ll just have to warm you up.” Tomo wraps himself around Mabo, much like Mabo does to him at night, and then he notices the bag, making grabby hands for it. “What’s in there? Lemme see.”

“Your attention span is terrible. Here.” Mabo hands the bag over and Tomo releases him so he can rifle through its contents, tail waving softly through the air behind him.

“My attention span is fine,” he grumbles, then goes back to the bag.

He had asked Mabo to get him some chocolate on a whim and he snatches the chocolate bar out of the bag as soon as he sees it, holding it between his teeth as he continues to riffle through the bag. Most of it doesn’t interesting him: deodorant, another box of condoms because they’ve gotten tired of having to clean up at the end of the night, a few assorted odds and ends.

“I told you what I was getting before I went, remember?” Mabo asks when Tomo hands the bag back to him so he can tear the wrapping off of his chocolate. “You can’t be that curious.”

“What if you had gotten something else while you were out? I wouldn’t have known about that. Besides, cats are known to be curious creatures.” Tomo breaks off a piece of chocolate and pops it into his mouth before sitting back down on the couch, stretching out across the surface of it and giving Mabo the warm kitten eyes he’s perfected over the years. “Shige called to let me know he’s going to come by and check on us tomorrow to see how things are working out.”

The mention of Shige is enough to get a proper smile out of Mabo before he heads upstairs, most likely to empty the contents of the bag and place everything where it belongs. Tomo could follow him, make himself even more of a nuisance just to see the adorable way Mabo rolls his eyes and wrinkles his nose at him. There have been instances over the past few days where they have annoyed each other, but nothing that hasn’t been smoothed over with a few quick words and a few soft kisses. Tomo is frankly surprised they work half as well as they do together.

When Mabo returns downstairs, he pauses at the end of the couch, stroking Tomo’s ears gently. “Anything in particular you want to do today? You look a little bored.”

“I’m not bored, Mabo, I’m just generally drowsy and I don’t want to do anything.” Tomo smiles up at him, then lifts himself into a sitting position. “If you want, you can sit down and let me use you as a pillow for a while. You’re comfortable, and I like the way you smell.”

It doesn’t sound like a compliment, not really, but it is, and Mabo sits down as he asked.

As he’s getting himself comfortable, Mabo clears his throat. “Am I allowed to ask about the others?”

The question makes Tomo still and tilt his head back, a piece of broken-off chocolate inches away from his lips. “What others are you referring to?” He pops the chocolate into his mouth, chewing slowly and quietly to make sure he doesn’t miss a single word that Mabo says.

“The ones you stayed with who came before me.” Mabo’s voice is low and quiet, as if sensing he might have found a sore spot and not wanting to prod it too much just in case.

“I guess.” Tomo heaves a sigh, pops another piece of chocolate into his mouth. He tries not to think about them, but it can’t hurt, can it? “Ask me whatever you want to ask me.”

There is a long pause during which Tomo thinks Mabo might have dropped his query, deciding it was not worth asking about before he clears his throat again. “I just�� Who were they? What were they? Were they human?” The way Mabo says the word “human” makes Tomo smile; he’s never been a big fan of humans, either, but Mabo must truly hate them.

Tomo can understand. Humans have been less than friendly to most non-humans; it’s in their nature to hate what they do not understand, and their lives are so short they act as though they have to protect them with all they have even though so few of them are in danger. But he’s had his run-in with more than a few bad humans in his lifetime, so he understands hating them, too.

“No humans,” he says, and he feels the precise moment when Mabo processes his words and relaxes behind him. “No sex demons, either. I’ve shared beds with them, but you’re the first I’ve stayed with. It’s been… A variety, I guess? Some other cats, like me. A few vampires, you wouldn’t believe how hard some of them bite. The last one was a chimera, very testy.”

If he leaves out mentioning Tatsu, so be it. He separates Tatsu from the rest of his experiences because Tatsu had been good to him, had treated him with respect and consideration, and Tomo had done the best he could for him, for the anguish he lives with. It had been too much, though.

Mabo hums and wraps an arm around his waist. “I’m surprised no one’s swept you off your feet.”

“Many have tried, but… Most of them don’t really meet my standards or they just want to use me until they’re done with me.” Tomo tries to keep his voice light, but the memories still sting.

“I see.” Mabo is quiet. “I hope you don’t see what we have like that, Tomoya.”

The words startle him, but he realizes how Mabo might have read those words and shakes his head quickly, wrapping his tail around Mabo’s wrist. “No, no, this isn’t the same as those instances. I agreed to this with the understanding you weren’t looking for a permanent partner, and neither am I. You can’t take advantage of me like that because we know ahead of time, y’know? And you’re not using me, Mabo, you’re giving me plenty in return.”

Mabo’s hand twists in the grip of his tail, fingers soothing along the fur there, and his lips are warm against the back of Tomo’s neck. “You were looking for something permanent once, then? Shige hasn’t told me anything about you other than enough to pick you out of a crowd.”

“That’s because Shige is a good person.” Tomo lets himself be comforted by Mabo’s arm around him, Mabo’s lips on his skin, Mabo in general. “Yes, I was. We aren’t meant to be solitary creatures, I don’t think, but… No one has ever wanted to keep me once they were done with me.”

“That’s too bad. You’ve been nothing but delightful since you’ve been here. You’d make a wonderful mate for someone, I think,” Mabo whispers against his skin.

Tomo shivers a little because it tickles and then shrugs his shoulders. “Yeah, whatever. I’m not so concerned about it now. It’s not like I’m suffering without someone to hold me at night.”

A scoff. “You have me to hold you. I don’t think I’m that bad at cuddling with you.”

“You’re not.” Tomo smiles, lounges against Mabo’s side and looks at up him, nuzzling against his jaw. “But yeah, I’m okay! I’m really okay, I promise. If I find someone, I do. If not, oh well.”

Mabo’s arm tightens around his waist, pulling him close against the incubus’s side. “I think you will. You may have had a bad run of luck looking, but I think you’ll find someone to be with.”

“Exactly. Besides, it wouldn’t do anyone any good to show up now because I’m not voiding this until you’re ready to let me go.” He twists around, presses a kiss to Mabo’s jaw.

Tomo is content to remain curled against Mabo’s side while Mabo pets him, warm and oddly safe here. When Mabo makes a familiar noise against his skin, he smirks and stands, taking Mabo by the hands and drawing him up, across the living room and up the stairs. He’s learned his way to the bedroom quite well since coming to stay here, but he’s still surprised when Mabo picks him up just outside of the doorway, carrying him inside like he’s small and precious and important to him.