#long chapter time bc I’ve never heard of word limits

[silverstarfics]

hey, here's a little something...

Yesterday's Promise - Chapter 108 - Silverstar1 - Thunderbirds [Archive of Our Own]

[ot3]

Sorry to bother - feel free to ignore. I’m trying to write an orv fic bc. I like them. And I’m having trouble understanding why with the regression depression it’s the happy memories that get yjh the most. Best I can figure it’s bc he can use the bad memories to propel him forward - like he’s doing this to avenge them. But the good memories force him to realize these people are gone and he’ll never see them again. Do you have any thoughts? Thanks!

i think that's definitely more or less accurate! i think the 'those people are gone and he'll never see them again' bit you've pointed out is the critical piece here. ill stick my further thoughts below the cut. this is really long because i've pulled a LOT of long chunks of text from the novel to shore up this point. i just got home from work so my thoughts are gonna be a little bit incoherent here. skip to the end if you're not interested in reading all the segments i pulled from the text. spoilers all the way up through chapter 508

first things first, let's just go back to the novel and look at all the bits where YJH's depression gets brought up

“Maybe Yoo Jonghyuk-nim has already repeated a few lives. You have fought against terrible enemies and struggled against the beings of this world to save people. Enduring alone, lonely memories… We respect your sublime spirit.”

This jerk, such skillful flattery. Yoo Jonghyuk would be moved to tears if he heard. Later when he was depressed, I would have to tell him these words.

“But Yoo Jonghyuk-nim should’ve realized it from your past regressions. Even if you have an outstanding miracle, you alone can’t fight against the disasters that will come.”

Plus, he was right.

- from ch 48

「 Everything is twisted because of this person. 」

「 It is different from what I know in the earlier regressions. The amount of information available is too limited. I can’t save the world like this. 」

What was this?

「 The reason I was hurt by the Salvation Church was because we spent too much time in the last round. It was a mistake to train for 100 years then. My mind was permanently damaged. 」

「 Maybe it was a mistake not to get the Absolute Throne.  」

「 I will start from the beginning again… 」

Dammit, the regressor’s depression had begun. Was it due to the mental attack? I cried out in fear of what he would decide. “I’m hurt you jerk!”

- from ch 140

「 Those people can’t save the world, even with 100 trucks. 」

「 Once again, the answer is regression… 」

“Now now, our Supreme King isn’t in a good mood right now so back off. Do you want to die?” I personally stepped forward to get rid of any causes of depression.

- later on in ch140 as well

This jerk, he was always so impatient. He had been given time to rest but he was still busy thinking. Regardless of his depressed state, Yoo Jonghyuk was Yoo Jonghyuk.

“Before that, let’s take a moment to breath. The view is great.” I said while sitting on the roof railing.

Yoo Jonghyuk asked me, “What are you up to?”

“I’m just looking at the world. Isn’t it beautiful?” The city of Seoul was destroyed by the monsters. I quickly added, “It was originally a beautiful place.”

“I don’t like landscapes.”

“Why?”

“They are things that will disappear someday.”

I thought I had a bit more understanding of the third regression Yoo Jonghyuk after fighting against Shin Yoosung. I wanted to believe he was a person who could love this world without giving up or feeling despair.

I told him, “However, we need to protect these things.”

“Kim Dokja, you don’t know.”

This might be my misunderstanding. Yoo Jonghyuk could give up at any time because he was still in the midst of his regressions.

In the end, Yoo Jonghyuk’s purpose was to prevent the ‘destruction of this world.’ Paradoxically, he could give up on this world at any time. His essence was regression and this fact would never change.

“No, I know,” I replied.

“What?”

“The fact that you can regress at any time means that death is meaningless.”

I looked down at Lee Seolhwa caring for the injured. Lee Seolhwa was feeding her boiled soup to an unknown person. Despite her efforts, there was a high probability that the character would die. Even if they lied now, they would die tomorrow. If they miraculously survived tomorrow, they would die the day after tomorrow.

It was the same in the fourth regression and the fifth regression. There would always be ‘death’ in the world of Yoo Jonghyuk, even after passing the 100th regression.

“If there is no sense of death then the value of life also disappears.”

- ch141

There was the vague belief that he could do better in the next round with more information. It was easy for him to give up on this regression if something went wrong.

This was the precursor symptom of ‘regression depression.’ Some of the contents of Ways of Survival passed through my head.

It was around the 48th regression. Yoo Jonghyuk had consulted with an incarnation of the constellation ‘Discoverer of the Subconscious’ on the ‘regression depression.’ At the time, he seemed to be speaking like I was now.

I continued speaking, “Yes. It might be as you say. If you repeat it 10 or 20 times then it will surely get better. You’ll be exposed to more scenarios and see more of the future. The real problem is when you someday save the world in this manner.”

“What does this mean?”

“At that time, do you really think you saved this world?”

“…”

“Do you think you will be able to keep the same mindset after repeating it 100 or 200 times?”

“I won’t regress that many times.”

I silently stared at Yoo Jonghyuk.

「 …Don’t tell me? 」 Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes slowly widened.

I kept speaking, “Are you having nightmares these days?”

“…”

“You won’t be saved, even if you save the world. The moment you save the world, the worlds you have forsaken will come to you. Despite saving one world, all the other worlds you abandoned will drag you to hell.”

- from further down in ch141

「 Yoo Jonghyuk felt lonely as he saw these watches. They got their time back but he still wasn’t

living in this time. Yoo Jonghyuk suddenly thought. If so, where do I live in those countless hours? 」

It was the monologue of Yoo Jonghyuk, who once saved the Demon World. It was also one of my favourite scenes from Ways of Survival.

I suddenly seemed to understand a bit of his mind. To the regressor Yoo Jonghyuk, the time in these worlds didn’t belong to him. In a life that could go back over and over again, the present time was meaningless.

Once this was over, I would ask Aileen to make me a watch. If he had something like this, he might become more attached to this world. Maybe the regression depression would get better…

- ch 207

A person who regressed more than a thousand times. A spirit that had become insensitive from the hundreds of suicides and tragedies that an individual could suffer. The extremely widespread regression depression…

「 Yoo Jonghyuk of the 1863rd round is the despair of the world itself. 」

- ch 285

Abnormal condition? There was no way. Who was the 1863rd regression Yoo Jonghyuk? This was Yoo Jonghyuk who was the Ruler of the East Hell and killed the Devil of Principles. There was no one among the constellations who could place an abnormal condition on the present Yoo Jonghyuk.

Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes were blank.

I felt uncomfortable like something was stuck in my throat. No, there was. There was only one person who could cause an abnormal status in Yoo Jonghyuk.

+

* The target is suffering from ‘regression depression’ due to an unknown cause.

+

It was Yoo Jonghyuk himself.

Regression depression. The spirit of the man who had been broken over 1863 lives made the regression depression almost a passive, low level skill. Once he fell into the depression, his consciousness was caught in the weight of his memories and he couldn’t wake up.

[Kill him! He isn’t invincible!]

The ruthless strikes caused Yoo Jonghyuk’s body to bleed little by little. It was strange. Originally, the regression depression shouldn’t occur in this situation. In the 1863rd round, Yoo Jonghyuk had learnt how to manage this disease.

- ch 286

then this REALLY LONG BIT from 287. it has stopped letting me indent for some reason so i guess ill bold this.

I knew how to wake up Yoo Jonghyuk from his regression depression. In other words, it meant I also knew how to sink him deeper into that melancholy.

I saw Yoo Jonghyuk’s fingertips moving and opened my mouth. “Do you remember? The 33rd round. You cleared the 40th scenario and Lee Jihye said this.”

Yoo Jonghyuk’s eyes dimmed and his moving fingertips stopped.

「 “It would be nice if Master didn’t have to go to the next round.” 」

“Think about it. You weren’t always unhappy. Right? In all the rounds, there were moments when you were happy.”

Yoo Jonghyuk’s expression was becoming stiffer.

“The 173rd round. You protected Earth for quite some time. You also saw Lee Jihye receiving her high school diploma and Lee Seolhwa smiling at someone’s child.”

「 “Jonghyuk-ssi, are you happy that you’re alive?” 」

Every time I spoke, Yoo Jonghyuk’s expression collapsed. It wasn’t despair that broke down Yoo Jonghyuk.

“The 383rd round. You finally cleared the 75th scenario. Fortunately, nobody died in that round. That was the first time. Then Lee Hyunsung told you.”

「 “Jonghyuk-ssi, I won’t forget today until I die.” 」

The feather-like memories sank into his head.

“Then the 498th round…”

Yoo Jonghyuk’s palms moved to cover his ears. The usual Yoo Jonghyuk wouldn’t have fallen from this much. Now it was different. I held his hands and kept talking. “That happened 10 times.”

A human sank deeper into the water just because of the weight of these feathers.

“Twenty times.”

My breath clogged up and my lungs tightened. I could feel what Yoo Jonghyuk was going through. Only I could feel it. The most primitive darkness at the bottom of one person was swallowing his ego greedily.

“100 times. It repeated over 1,000 times.”

All those words were destroyed. All the happy memories flowed back to a time they could never return to. Through the countless regressions, the meaning of happiness faded. All the values he preserved became pieces of torn paper.

“Yoo Jonghyuk.”

Yoo Jonghyuk’s self was sinking into the deep sea. It was to a place that he could never come up from without someone’s help.

“Have you protected all the things you wanted to keep?”

I looked at Yoo Jonghyuk’s miserable face and thought: Don’t worry Yoo Jonghyuk. I’ll do the rest. You stop and rest.

[Your understanding of the character ‘Yoo Jonghyuk’ is increasing explosively.]

Yoo Jonghyuk’s empty eyes were showing memories of losing his master. I didn’t use Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint but it wasn’t hard to read.

「 I want to die. 」

「 I want to finish all of this. 」

「 If only I can never wake up. 」

A few drops of rain fell from the sky. It was black rain made from the blood of the demon kings and constellations. Liquid also flowed onto Yoo Jonghyuk’s face. Yoo Jonghyuk’s gaze lowered and finally fell on me.

I was looking at the moment a human’s spirit collapsed. There was a broken voice. Like a creaking machine, Yoo Jonghyuk stammered, “Wh,at… should, I, d…o?”

i think this one is obviously very important.

then, the 'have you protected all you wanted to protect' stuff obviously reaches its culmination in the finale

⸢The regression depression.⸥

That was the only weakness of Yu Jung-Hyeok, who had repeatedly regressed for a very long time.

[In the 173rd turn. You managed to protect Earth for a pretty long time. You got to see Yi Ji-Hye receive her high school diploma, and you even got to see Yi Seol-Hwa smile with another’s child in her arms.]

The light in Yu Jung-Hyeok’s eyes was wavering.

⸢It wasn’t despair that could defeat Yu Jung-Hyeok.⸥

⸢Small feather-like memories settled down inside his head one by one.⸥

The ‘Dokkaebi King’ was using the exact same method I relied on back then.

⸢The breathing got harder, and the lungs were getting tighter.⸥

⸢A man drowning in water would sink even deeper under the surface from the weight of a mere feather.⸥

I couldn’t afford to idly watch on anymore. I shouted at Yu Jung-Hyeok, telling him to wake up, and not to fall for such an illusion.

However, my voice couldn’t reach them as if a non-conductive barrier was set up between us. And the ‘Dokkaebi King’ was smiling away, perhaps to mock this entire story.

[Yu Jung-Hyeok, have you protected all that you wanted to protect?]

Slowly, Yu Jung-Hyeok’s knees sank down.

I roused the Status of Fables. I needed to undo that ⸢Stage Transformation⸥ right now, But, how should I…

Grab.

There was a hand still tightly clutching mine. It was Han Su-Yeong.

“That’s not a battle you can interfere in.”

“But, if he’s left alone….!”

“….Even a star that can’t be seen still emits light. You said that, right?”

….A star that can’t be seen?

Her words made me look back at Yu Jung-Hyeok once more.

His gaze being lowered had come to a stop. Blinding sparks were completely enveloping him.

Tsu-chuchuchuchu….

Something was waking up his fading consciousness.

[Great Fable, ‘Ones that Remember the Apocalypse’, has begun its storytelling!]

That was a Fable I wasn’t aware of.

As the sparks lessened gradually, several silhouettes revealed themselves. Now that I took a closer look, Yu Jung-Hyeok wasn’t alone. No, four others were standing beside him.

A tall man, a young man with blonde hair, a girl with a ponytail, and finally…

[[He couldn’t protect anyone. That’s why he now stands in this place.]]

….An Archangel with blindingly-pure wings.

Astonishment quickly dyed the Dokkaebi King’s expression.

The Fable from the destroyed 999th turn was now burning brightly like the conflagration of end times on the edges of the Archangel’s blade.

[[Because he believes there are still things left to protect.]]

- from ch 508

Now here's a couple of tidbits about depression when it comes up for Other entities:

The fastest thing to get shaved away after becoming a Constellation was their own ‘Fable’. The more a Constellation depleted its story, the weaker its power would get. They would grow bored, disinterested, fall into depression, or lose themselves in tedium.

Constellations would desperately seek out other Fables in order to escape from such a quagmire. In other words, they would search for a new tragedy to escape from this horrible eternal cycle, even if it was only for a brief moment.

- ch 498

⸢[Constellation, ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’s’ ■■ is ‘Something that can’t be found’.]⸥

I had read what his ■■ was from the original novel. His description showed up when he became Yu Jung-Hyeok’s ally for a little while during the 1863rd turn.

⸢The evil dragon suffering from the worst possible depression in this <Star Stream>.⸥

The reason why the ‘Abyssal Black Flame Dragon’ believed his age to be 15 was simply that he’d not be able to continue on if he didn’t.

A life stretching for thousands, no, tens of thousands of years, made an originally solitary dragon into such a creature.

In order to stop itself from decaying, he chose not to age. He chose not to lose his curiosity of the world. He chose to torment Incarnations or play bizarre pranks. And for his final prank, he even chose to betray the ‘Absolute Evil’, too. He stood on Yu Jung-Hyeok’s side and while mocking the <Star Stream>, breathed his last.

- ch 503

okay so

i think there are a couple of different ways to look at the regression depression in line with each of orv's 'themes'. of course despair at losing his comrades is the main primary emotion here, but there's subtler stuff going on here too.

for starters, the foundational components of any creature within the star stream is its stories. the more your stories are known and shared the more powerful they are, etc, etc. time and time again their shared stories are the thing to save them and ground them. but as we see with the hellscape of eternity, yjh begins to become isolated from the interpersonal aspect of the story as he loses the people he originally formed these stories with. the stories are how people communicate. as YJH progresses through his regressions he is unable to relate to the 'story' in the way you are supposed to, and this essentially causes a complete ego death. life no longer has any meaning for him, because he is fundamentally incapable of connecting with people. the [impossible communication] of a life and a burden that can't be shared.

then there's the [samsara] aspect - being worn down by the endless repetition of fate. everything is the same, over and over again, and yet we still delve into it hoping to get something new out of it. maybe the story will be different this time. ABFD was able to stave off depression by keeping himself in a state of permanent novelty - there was still something left to discover - but as YJH progresses through the regressions and falls deeper and deeper into repeating the same pattern, the tedium becomes too much. he has nothing new to experience. he has repeated everything this reality has to offer - or so he thinks - and it shows no sign of ever changing. if it's the same every time, why stick around? why not go again? it doesn't matter. none of it matters. you are just part of the wheel.

and if we think of it in terms of [good and evil] we see yjh slowly become something that almost any human being would call a monster. as kdj says in that conversation with anna croft near the end, "can you really call someone a human if you have to look so hard to find their humanity?" as far as it goes. yjh commits some atrocities! Because of said aforementioned removal from reality and ego death, he is able to fully justify any action it takes no matter how horrendous. and yet his noble goal never changes. undeniably, what he is by the end is some sort of monster. but still, of course, just a man. and he knows this. he feels himself slipping a little bit more, every regression. he knows its coming. and he doesn't want it. he wants to maintain his humanity.

but really i think we can almost best think of yjh's regression depression as almost his equivalent to the [fourth wall]. whereas the 4th wall is a unique passive skill that protects kim dokja by preventing him from fully conceptualizing what's happening to him as 'reality', the regression depression harms yjh by preventing him from conceptualizing what's happening to him as 'reality'. in a sense, his friends and loved ones have almost become 'characters' to him as well, as he already knows the way this story happens. he is an outsider, observing these beings interact with each other but not quite the same as them. he is an anachronism. this isn't his present. this is a present, one he can take or leave at any time. the thing yjh does in his later regressions - using people as tools - is something kdj does in the beginning of his journey. because, well, it doesnt matter if this isn't the 'real world'! they mirror each other.

that ended up being so much longer than i thought it would im sorry. i hope this was even like 10% helpful.

[seventeensarmy]

(4) Stuck With You (Hybrid AU)

Pairing: OT7xReader, Jungkook x Reader, soon Jimin x Reader x Jungkook; rest will come in the course of the story

Warnings: mentions of smut, domestic living and fluff, also don’t know how you wanna call Jimins behaviour, also not eating and like bad self image (bc reader and Jimin don’t eat and wanna lose weight)

Words: 3.560

Summary: You decide to show Jimin your dance studio, while Jungkook leaves the two of you to go to a job inerview for the famous underground photographer ‘Vante’.

A/N: I’m sorry for not uploading in a while, but school was like, “let’s give her three exams per week, one week pause and then start again for as long as we stay open”. I’ll try to write more, but I can’t promise anything :/

Previous / Next 

Chapter four

"You didn't tell me that y/n makes such a mean Carbonara, Jungkook-ah.”

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Taglist: @imezz​ @anxietylovesme​ @holaaaf​ @ot7purple​ @calling-dips-on-j-hope​ @greezenini​ @givebuckysomelove​ @leejongsukly433        @sweeneyblue1​ @kookiebbyxx​

One year ago (Reader 20/ JK 20/ JM 22) You groaned as the light hit your face and turned around. "Baby. Wake up" you heard Jungkook mumbling next you, but then proceeded to pull you closer. You didn't know anyone who took longer to get up in the morning than your boyfriend. You were now facing Jungkooks bare chest, your fingers were tracing his muscles and you looked up to him only to see him already looking at you. "Seeing something you like?" he asked, looking amused as your cheeks started to heat up, "Yes" you whisper with a small grin. A hand came around your waist and pulled you even closer and before you could actually react Jungkook was already leaning over you, one hand next to your head to hold him up. You looked up to him with big eyes. "You wanna be my good girl? Letting me have you before making breakfast? So I can have my breakfast first?" He started to nibble on your throat, leaving big bruises that you knew were going to be so hard to cover up. "Yes, please" you whimper throwing your head back to give Jungkook more space, your hand gripping his hair. You moaned when you felt his hands cupping your breast, pinching you nipple. "Good girl" Jungkook praised. You didn't know, that Jungkooks main goal was to let Jimin know, that you were his. He had noticed how Jimin had that big dominant aura, it had intimidated him, but Jungkook couldn't let the new guy see, that his dominance had effects on him, when he wasn't even trying to. If it had already bothered him so much, how would you react? You, who is so easily manipulated? After you and Jungkook started your day, you quickly feel into your usual routine. Jungkook went for a quick morning jog while you started preparing the breakfast he insisted you'd have together. You stood at the stove preparing three dishes, because you vaguely remember Jungkook bringing someone home? The realisation that you are now alone with a stranger at home, hit you as you heard light footsteps approaching. "You are a dancer, aren't you?" came a soft voice from the doorway. You looked over and saw a blond man leaning against the frame, his tail softly swishing from side to side. You didn't know enough about cats to point out his mood, so you chose to just keep it cool. "How did you know?" you asked a bit surprised. The cat chuckled and pointed at your feet, "You're making breakfast in fourth position." You looked down at your feet and saw that you were indeed standing in a typical ballet position; you looked up to the man a bit embarrassed. The cat stepped a bit closer and him holding his eye contact with you was making you nervous. You looked down again, breaking the contact and missing the smirk that creeped on his face. "Do you dance as well? I've been living with Jungkook for years and he never mentioned it?" The cat scoffed, "I've been dancing since I was little. My previous owner owned his own studio here in town." You smiled at his words, Happy, that you were finally talking to a dancer again, its been too long. "Then if you want, you can come train with me later, after breakfast. Jungkook wants to together, so we gotta wait. Are you eating? Oh I don't know if I introduced myself yesterday, I'm Y/N" The hybrid slowly nodded at the information you were giving him. "I'm Jimin", he said in a smooth voice, "Are you eating before practice? I won't be eating lunch though." You grinned at the revelation that Jimin also wasn't eating lunch. "Yeah, Jungkook wants me to eat before I start the day, but I'm not eating lunch either. I'm mostly practicing at that time" You were stirring the porridge you were making and Jimin hummed in acknowledgement. "You're on a dancer diet too?" he asked and it was as if you understood each other without saying something. A little voice in both of your heads told you, that the 'diet' the two of you were on, wasn't good or healthy, but you felt connected through the knowledge of doing the same thing. You nodded, "And he doesn't like it?” Jimin asked again and you nodded again, remembering the arguments you would have about your eating habits. Jimin smiled, his eyes scrunched together, "That's okay, he just doesn't understand, but don't worry, I do." You started to fill the food in bowls, giving yourself and Jimin smaller portions than Jungkook and Jimin started to set the table. The timing was perfect; Jungkook came through the door just as you put the last bowl down. He spotted you and Jimin and smiled at the both of you. "Morning Jimin-ah", he grinned and Jimin scowled, you all had sat down and started eating. "I'm older than you, you brat" Jungkook grinned cheekily, "Morning Hyung" and you chocked in your first spoon of porridge. "You're older than Jungkook?" Jungkook grinned and sat himself down teasing you, "Were you hoping you'd be a Noona, Baby?" Jimin raised his eyebrows, "You are younger than your hybrid?" It wasn't common for people to adopt hybrids that were older than one, because humans liked that age gave them a superior feeling. You pouted, "Age has nothing to do with behaviour. I'm still the owner." Jungkook snorted, "Yeah, only on paper though" Jimin choked on a laugh, while you just grabbed your empty bowl, head red. Before you left you smacked the back of Jungkooks head making him turn around with a face that said 'try that again and see where it brings you'. You stood in the kitchen scrubbing the bowls clean when Jungkook entered, holding his and Jimins bowl in his hand. "You didn't have to say that", you whisper shouted and him, hitting him with a wet rag. "Try that again. I dare you. Also, he already knew that you are mine. You smell like me, especially after this morning" you could hear the smugness in his voice and felt the blood rushing to your cheeks. "You are unbelievable" you groaned, making him snicker. "You know what? You can do the dishes then. I'm gonna go change" "Aw don’t be like that, little dancer", was the last thing you heard before closing the door to your shared bedroom. You quickly changed into your sports Wear and also grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a shirt from Jungkook to give to Jimin, who was sitting at the kitchen counter watching Jungkook do the dishes. "Here, I thought maybe you'd like to dance in something a bit more comfortable" you said, giving the cat the clothes. Jimin quickly thanked you and disappeared in the guest room he was staying in. "So you gonna practice together then?” Jungkook asked, putting away the rest of the dishes into the cabinets. "Yes, it’s been so long since I practiced with someone who also danced for a long time" and you really were excited. Since your parents death you hadn't been taking any more dance lessons from your private teacher. You always wanted to be taught again, but there was so much going on in your life, you didn't feel like dance lessons should be taking over so much time. Instead you practiced what you already knew, sometimes you learned from YouTube videos, but it was hard trying to learn new stuff, when you boyfriend isn't a fan of you overworking yourself. You tried to explain to him, that new moves were hard to learn and that you were used to staying up late to perfect them, but he wasn't having it. Jungkook felt bad about limiting your practice time, but he knew it wasn't healthy to stay in the dance studio for the whole day, practicing the same move on repeat. He tried to tell you, that maybe you should take it slower, leaving new things would take time, but overworking yourself wouldn't to you any good, especially since you still had school work to do. "That’s great, I'm sure you'll be making good progress then" Jungkook said with a bright smile, relieved that someone who knew what they were doing was with you. Jimin would probably say something if he saw, that you were going too hard. Jimin appeared gently, but Jungkook was sure he would be strict and make sure you would take care of yourself. "I actually have something I'd need to do today, meaning I wouldn't be at home till late", Jungkook started making you look up to him confused. "Huh? Where are you going?" "Do you remember that 'Vante' flyer we saw a while back? Remember that I called there and they said they would get back to me? Well they did, just while you were changing, they would like to meet today" A huge smile broke out on your face, and you jumped into Jungkooks arms, who caught you with ease "That’s amazing Kookie. I'm sure they will hire you." A while back, while you went on a walk with Jungkook, you came by a flyer, offering a job as an assistant to 'Vante'. The offer was only for hybrids and when Jungkook read who he could be potentially working for he couldn't stop himself from calling. Vante was apparently a huge underground photographer, who is famous for his pictures capturing social unjust against hybrids or other minorities. You didn't know there was someone who expressed their feelings for the hybrid situation through art and Jungkook explained to you, that he also just heard of him, after hearing other hybrids talk about him. Vante was apparently a big deal in the hybrid community, but no one has ever seen him. This is why it was an even bigger shock that he was looking so openly for an assistant. Most humans don't know about Vante or what goes on in the hybrid community in general and Jungkook explained to you, that you didn't have to feel bad for not knowing him. Since you and Jungkook only really spent time with each other and only leave the house when you have to, you didn't really have any other friends. This was also the reason why Jungkook was so out the loop with everything concerning the hybrid community, he's been with you since you were children and never really met with other hybrids. You often felt bad and told him he should go to the park and try to meet people and that you'd be fine, but he never wanted to. He claimed that you were all the company he needed and while you didn't necessarily believed that, you couldn't bring him to change his mind. But he too was the only company you needed. Still, now that you found out he had the chance to go meet people you were happy for him, especially because you knew, that Jungkook would love to have something to do and not sit around the house the whole day. "You guys gonna be fine without me here?" Jungkook asked, looking at you and then at Jimin who had just stepped out of his room. Both of you rolled your eyes and you were glad wasn't looking at you. "Don't worry Jungkook-ah, we'll survive" said Jimin with a cheeky smile. It wasn't that Jungkook wasn't concerned about leaving you with a stranger in your own home, he was. But something about Jimin made him feel at ease. Yes, Jungkook kinda felt threatened in his position as 'alpha' of the pack, especially because he, a rabbit, let a cat come into his territory. But Jimin didn't appear like he wanted to take you away or destroy the dynamic, it was more like, he wanted to belong. And Jungkook understood that, he too wanted to belong, and it wasn't like you didn't have the space for one more person. It was just the power dynamic that was still undecided between the both of them, but then again, Jimin hadn't even been staying with you for a whole day. Power dynamics still had to wait; maybe Jimin didn't even plan on staying, though Jungkook didn't believe that. Also you and Jimin seemed to get along well, so he trusted his gut on this one. "I should be back around 10pm from what I understood" Jungkook called out to you and Jimin. You quickly rushed to him hugging him tight. You played with the silver chain around his neck that had all the information about him. If hybrids had to go out with a collar, it could at least look good. "Be safe, and text me when you arrive and leave and stuff. I'll prepare dinner for you and if you don't like it you can just come back home yeah? Don't feel like you have to get a job. We don't need the -" Your rambling got interrupted by a set of lips on yours. Jungkook looked at you with soft eyes, a bit amused how much you worried about him, but he knew you meant well. "I'll be just fine, Baby, don't worry okay?” he asked as gently cupped your cheek. "I'll text you, I even have my tracking on, so don't worry. But I have to leave now or I'll be late. Don't forget to eat. Jimin, watch her. See you guys, love you", Jungkook listed to calm you, looking at Jimin while telling him to watch you and then at you, telling you he loved you. You quickly tell him the same before the door falls shut. "He said it like I'm some kid to watch", you playfully pouted, looking at the cat that had watched that whole interaction with an amused smile. "We'll see at the end of the day how much of a pain you are", Jimin said with a laugh. The both of you were in your studio warming up and you enjoyed the fact that Jimin seemed to know what he was doing. Training with Jungkook was always playful, because you explained to him what each stretch was doing and he would whine about his thighs burning, but Jimin wasn't like that. He could match pace and take the stretch as deep as you could. A bit clueless as to how to start you decided both if you would just dance for the other, so you'd know what you could work on together. You explained that you were trained in classical ballet, always had strict teachers and never really learned it another way. Jimin listened and remarked that he'd love to learn a bit more about classical ballet, you then told him, that you started to teach yourself a more contemporary style, but haven't been taught it, which is why you'd probably needed some help there. The hybrids eyes smiled as bright as his mouth when he told you, that he had learned contemporary since he was a child, so he wouldn't have a problem teaching you. You beamed at him, happy that you found a way to dance that made both of you happy. "I'm warning you, I've never taught anyone before", you said while getting ready to start teaching Jimin. The cat looked at you, "What, the bunny doesn't like dancing?" You shake your head, "Jungkook likes dancing, but not the kind I'm able to teach him. He said if he'd dance it had to be modern and I don’t know, he called it street style" Jimin snorted, "Well, I didn't take him as a classical dancer anyway. Should we start?" Teaching Jimin was easier than expected, he easily caught onto what you were trying to say, when you didn't know how to say it. Both of you lost track of time, lost in your own world that was dance. You quickly got reminded of time when your phone started ringing, Jungkook. Taking a few deep breathes you answered, you looked at yourself in the mirror, your top clinging onto you, drenched in sweat, and you haven't trained this hard in quite some time. Your gaze wandered to Jimin who looked as sweaty as you, his hair sticking to his forehead, so he ran a hand through it, exposing his forehead. "Hey Kookie. How is it going?" you asked as you answered, you looked at the time, it was 4pm, Jungkook wouldn't be home in while and you and Jimin have already been dancing for five hours. "I'm on break right now. They are showing me what kind of pictures I would have to take and stuff. It’s really interesting, they also told me I could make videos of I'm more comfortable with that, it just has to have a message", you could feel Jungkooks excitement through the phone and a huge smile took over your features. Your bunny was still so cute when he got excited, even Jimin, who heard the whole conversation, no doubt, was smiling to himself at Jungkooks rambling. "I'm happy you're having fun. What are you doing after your break?", you asked and absently started stretching, bending over while still holding your phone. "Oh they're gonna teach me Photoshop and video editing and how to upload pictures, so they aren't traceable by the police." That line worried you a bit; you looked up and locked eyes with Jimin behind you, who was already looking at you, through the mirror. He was also frowning at Jungkooks words. You knew that that Vante guy was publishing critical pictures to raise awareness, but was it so bad, that the police would get involved? "Don't worry; it's just so they won't know who published it. The police could think that you are part of a radical group and stuff. It's easier to stay anonymous", Jungkook explained, probably feeling your worry and confusion. "Anyways, did you guys eat already? You probably ate an hour ago or so. I can hear your heavy breathing are you still training?" The blood in your veined ran cold. You hadn't eaten, you weren't even planning to before Jungkook called, and you haven't made a break. Jimin seemed to see your panic and quickly jumped in. "Hey let me talk to that punk that didn't use the proper honorifics today." He then grabbed your phone and put it on speaker. You could hear Jungkooks giggles coming through. "Oh I'm sorry Hyung" came Jungkooks reply and Jimin took over before Jungkook could say more. "You didn't tell me that y/n makes such a mean Carbonara, Jungkook-ah. We almost didn't left anything for you", the lies came out so easily, that you would've believed Jimin if you hadn't known better. "Oh really?” Jungkook asked and you could tell he was pleased, thinking you listened and actually ate. There was a sharp pain in your heart and you felt incredibly guilty for lying, because even though you weren't the one speaking, you also weren't interrupting Jimin. "Yes, but don't worry, we left something for you", Jimin send you a cheeky wink, easing your worry a bit. "Alright I'm glad.." there were some background noises, before Jungkooks voice came back. "I just got called to come back, so I'll gotta leave. Maybe I'll meet Vante. Though I probably won't. Maybe if I really start working for him, you know he never shows his face. Anyways. Bye love you. Have fun you guys. Bye Hyung." And with that the line went dead. Jimin mustered you. "Shouldn't I have lied?” he asked, afraid he overstepped. Jimin was here for one day, but he was already so at ease with you, he maybe interpreted too much into your shared love for dance. "No it's not that..  I just hate lying to him." Jimin watched you, "Okay. But.. Did you want to eat?” he asked and you shook your head, eating while practicing didn't help,  especially if you wanted to lose weight while you were at it. "See that's okay. Do you want to eat now?” his voice was soft and lulled you in bubble were you felt comfortable. He was asking if you wanted to eat, not telling you that you should. You shook your head again, even though the thought of Jungkook let you feel guilty, you still didn't want to eat. Jimin smiled, "That's okay and completely normal. I also don't want to eat. How about we eat something later this evening?" "Yeah, that sounds good", you said quietly, Jimins voice was so soft and gently, you didn't want to burst that comfort bubble. Also he told you that it was okay, and he also didn't eat, so how bad was it really? "Then let's eat later. Jungkook doesn't need to know. Let's practice till 8pm, then we can shower and I'll help you make some mean Cabonara. How does that sound?” Jimin smiled at you and you smiled back. "Sounds good." "Okay, and then let me start teaching you, but watch out. I'm a strict teacher." Jimin warned, but that only gave you more motivation. "That's good, I won't learn if you aren't", you answered, not knowing how someone couldn't be strict while teaching. And Jimin was true to his word, pointing out every mistake and making you repeat the move till you perfected it. But you wouldn't want it any other way.

Next 

(Leave me your thoughts)

[thejamesoldier]

Every Tomorrow

AO3 Link

a/n: Did I write this fic bc I slammed face first back into the inuyasha fandom after the premiere of yashahime? Absolutely. Did I write this fic so I could get those g o o d domestic inukag feels? Absolutely. Did I write this fic as a way to come to terms with the fact that one of my first crushes as a kid happened to be an animated dog man? Absolutely. Enjoy yall xxx

(this goregous gif isn’t mine!) 

rating: explicit 

pairing: inuyasha x kagome

tags: protective inuyasha, jealous inuyasha, emotionally constipated inuyasha, honestly whats new, youkai mates, soulmates, youkai culture, mate bonds, mate rituals, touch-starved inuyasha, shippo is kagome’s son dont talk to me, mirsan as parents, sesshoumaru is still kinda a prick but we like him now, angst and smut and fluff, domestic bliss, srsly this shit is so soft i should be arrested, non-canon compliant with yashahime, shit ton of inukag being cute tbh

summary: 'Kagome smiles through tears of insurmountable joy as a shadow passes over her. She tilts her head back and finds a familiar silhouette bending over the ledge of the well. The figure is still for a moment, as if frozen in utter disbelief, before a clawed hand reaches down to her and with a shuttering exhale, Kagome takes it. Inuyasha hauls her up into the light and suddenly, he's in front of her -- he's real. His silver hair, his ears, his red haori, those eyes of molten gold that stare up at her with nothing less than his very soul bared for her to see. Kagome observes such belonging in him, such love, and it completes her.'

or

my excuse to write some indulgent domestic inukag and explore their happy ending

Chapter 1 - mizpah 

The day is grey.

Clouds rumble low and thick over the skyline, swallowing the tops of buildings in the distance and casting deep shadows across the shrine grounds. Kagome is supposed to go out today, a few friends asked her to grab lunch at some new bistro that's opened up near campus. She'd been contemplating how to work the impending downpour into an excuse to stay home, never really having the energy for much these days. Parsing out when to expend the limited energy she did have had become a constant chore since being cut off from --

A familiar pain twangs through her chest, the ache almost welcome. It's all she has left of him.

Maybe it's the rain, maybe its the gloom of the day pulling out the worst of her longing, but regardless she finds herself pushing silently out of her room, walking downstairs, slipping outside, and standing before the closed doors of the Bone Eater's well. Drawn back once again to what was stolen from her. Kagome had promised herself she'd stop doing this, stop torturing herself -- stop giving in to the inexplicable sorrow of living a life without him. But just like the other times, the temptation to let the true weight of her loss pour into the gaping hole in her soul and fill her to the brim, make her so heavy with it that she's brought to her knees, is a poison she's unable to resist. She does this more regularly than she knows is healthy, but its the only way Kagome feels whole anymore. If she's not drowning in loss then she's empty, and Kagome isn't sure which is worse. Without a word she shoulders the doors open and descends the rotting stairs.

The familiar musty smell of earth and something not quite alive but not quite dead hits her. Kagome's eyes water at the memories the scent yields. Before she can stop herself her fingers come up to caress the splintering lip of the ancient well. It feels...empty, same as it always does when she comes in here. The sensation is akin to a sense of hollowness, that the shaft of negative space that runs down the well's center is truly all that's left of the magic that used to come alive for her. A silent sob wrenches down her throat, rendering her vulnerable to the torrent of emotion that swells in her. She let's each gasping breath tear her open, tear out all that's left of her. A sick relief floods her as the sorrow emerges fully and, as always, she crumbles to her knees under the burden of it.

Inuyasha...

Just saying his name, even in the privacy of her own mind, tares something vital out of Kagome's core. She hopes he knows, hopes that despite it all he knows that she is still his in every way a person could be. Disassembled and broken as she is, Kagome offers her anguish to the well praying that if it wouldn't return her to him, then it could at least take her devotion instead.

Carry it to him, remind him he's loved...

For a moment she considers descending the well and curling up at the bottom of it, willing her feelings to reach him, but the thought of her mother finding her like that again...she couldn't bare it. Her mom had been so heartbroken, so overwhelmed with worry when she found Kagome lying at the bottom of the well, cheek pressed to the dirt and eyes seeping tears that wouldn't stop. She wouldn't do that to her again. With that thought Kagome tries to rally herself, to yank her heart away from the addicting agony of missing him and prepares to push her mind into the nothingness she utilizes to numb the pain. She had allowed herself this much and it had to be enough for now, anymore and she'd send herself into a deeply harmful depressive state.

Kagome closes her eyes and uses the well to help heave herself to stand, movements slow and body sore, feeling like her limbs are made of lead. Before she turns to leave, Kagome grips the well as fiercely as she can with both hands. A feeling of intensity overtakes her in that moment and she's unable to think of anything but:

Inuyasha, Kagome declares to the emptiness of the well, I want to see you.

What happens next astounds her. Fate smiles in glee as -- finally -- the threads of time align and pull taught. A gentle breeze smelling of sunshine and wildflowers drifts up to Kagome, it's warm fingers brushing tenderly through the hair that hangs in her face. Kagome's eyes open with an audible gasp. Her heart blossoms because there, lying at the bottom of the well, is a cerulean sky -- a few wispy clouds floating lazily by. The sound of birds singing echoes up to her and suddenly, the Bone Eater's well bursts to life. Kagome is embraced by the energy of the well like an old friend as it resurrects in silent sparkling splendor around her. It soaks into her skin, her soul, filling her with hope instead of sorrow. It's pure life, and it beckons to her with such surety that it breaks Kagome's heart.

"Kagome?"

Her mother's voice forces a sharp exhale out of Kagome, she hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath. Kagome can't look away from the impossible sky below her though, she's frozen in shock and wrestles with the possibility that this isn't a dream. She's had so many that happened just like this. Kagome...Kagome doesn't dare to hope...

"What's wrong?" Mrs. Higurashi asks as she makes her way down the stairs and comes to a stop behind Kagome, concern strangling the usual softness of her tone into an unsure waver.

"Mom," Is all Kagome is capable of saying, and it comes out in a hoarse terrified whisper.

Kagome hears her mother give a small gasp of disbelief, before Mrs. Higurashi steps up close beside her daughter and peers down the well too.

"The sky," Kagome hushes, still unable to fully accept what's happening but slowly becoming afraid that this will all be ripped from her. Again.  

A gentle hand wraps around her shoulders and pulls Kagome back from the ledge. Kagome lets her mother do this, lets herself lean into her mother's warmth in the face of all this crushing possibility.

"Mom I," Are the shaky words Kagome tries to preface her departure with, not sure what to even say -- lost in how she's meant to articulate the avalanche of emotion she's feeling. Because even if this is a dream she can't bare to wait any longer, she needs to know if...if maybe the well heard her and is by some miracle answering her prayers.

Mrs. Higurashi turns Kagome around to face her, hands soft as they frame her daughter's shoulders.

"Kagome," Her mother says her name and it holds all the world in it, Kagome looks up and is immediately swept away by the love in her mom's eyes. Mrs. Higurashi smiles at her then -- kind eyes closing on tears that are beginning to fall, and Kagome nearly collapses, "I understand."  

With a sob Kagome embraces her mother for the last time.

"Tell Sota and Grandpa that I love them," Kagome murmurs in a rush.

Her mother only squeezes her tighter and nods. They shake in each other's arms for another breath before both pulling away.

"I am so proud of you Kagome," Mrs. Higurashi says, voice trembling with emotion but warm, always so warm.

"I love you Mama," Kagome responds as tears begin to swell in her eyes.

"Give this to him for me," Her mother requests as she takes Kagome's face in her hands, and leans in close to press a searing kiss to her forehead.

"Oh Mama," Kagome weeps as her mother's love wraps around her heart and fills her with a kind of joy she hasn't felt in years.  

Mrs. Higurashi leans back a little and uses her thumbs to wipe the wetness off of Kagome's cheeks.

"Tell him that I love him, that I've always seen him as a son, and that I am proud to have him be apart of our family."

Kagome deteriorates into a watery mess as the sentiments her mother just shared wash over her. Wordlessly, Mrs. Higurashi helps her daughter climb up onto the lip of the well before they simply stare for a moment, taking each other in one more time. Then her mother bestows her one last parting gift.

"Live Kagome," Her mom hushes, fierce happiness triumphant in her voice, as she releases her daughter's hands and watches as she turns to leap down the well, body disappearing from sight moments later.

Goodbye Mama, Kagome calls back as she sinks into time.

Kagome relishes the sensations traveling through the well give her -- a fierce nostalgia gripping her chest at the bursts of cobalt light, the galactic vastness watching her fall past, the light at the bottom of the well welcoming her home...

When she lands on solid ground a part of her fears so intensely that she's still in her time, that she refuses to open her eyes. What if she were to look up and see her mother staring down at her? Kagome hesitates for a moment, eyes closed, standing so still, terrified that this isn't real, and then something throbs in her chest --

She feels him, feels his youki hurtling towards her and suddenly, Kagome is no longer afraid.

Inuyasha!

Kagome opens her eyes and squints at the sky above her, the breeze she felt earlier encouraging her towards her future. She makes it about three fourths of the way up the well when she hears him. The pounding of his feet against the earth as he races closer, his aura a brilliant thriving thing that feels like the sun against her skin. Kagome smiles through tears of insurmountable joy as a shadow passes over her. She tilts her head back and finds a familiar silhouette bending over the ledge of the well. The figure is still for a moment, as if frozen in utter disbelief, before a clawed hand reaches down to her and with a shuttering exhale, Kagome takes it. Inuyasha hauls her up into the light and suddenly, he's in front of her -- he's real. His silver hair, his ears, his red haori, those eyes of molten gold that stare up at her with nothing less than his very soul bared for her to see. Kagome observes such belonging in him, such love, and it completes her.

"Inuyasha," She says his name, says it just for him, and he inhales, "I'm so sorry, were you waiting here for me?"

Inuyasha's expression shifts and Kagome gasps softly at the chaos he's trying to contain, but then he says her name. Says it just for her.

"Kagome."

A wet laugh escapes her lips at the sound of his voice, at how she used to long to hear him say her name, just like that.

"Inuyasha," Kagome murmurs again just because she can as her fingers play with the ends of his forelocks, eyes jumping all over his face trying to take in every part of him at once.

Unable to help herself, Kagome wraps both arms around his neck, relishing in the feel of his hair threading through her fingers, and presses her lips to his with a sigh. Inuyasha remains still for a moment, like his brain is one beat behind, before he clutches her to him so hard her lungs squeeze in her chest. Kagome doesn't care, in fact she doesn't feel like they're close enough. She wants to crawl her way into him and stay there forever, never to be separated again. The kiss feels like coming home, and it makes the part of her that sat empty for the past three years steadily fill. Inuyasha's lips are slightly chapped, she notes, and he kisses her like she's the only kind of devastation he'd willingly submit to. Impossibly, her love for him deepens further. Kagome pulls back with a gasp, trying to catch her breath as Inuyasha carefully sets her down on the ground, their lips brushing while the two of them tremble in the wake of such sweeping passion.

"Kagome," Inuyasha whispers her name again, like its the only word he knows, and dives back down to reclaim her lips.

She lets a soft noise shake loose from her chest when he tilts his head to deepen the kiss, his claws snagging on the material of her cardigan as he holds her close. Kagome feels a fang nip at her lower lip and, smiling into the kiss, she happily opens up for him. When their tongues meet, Inuyasha's hands raise to cup both sides of her jaw, mindful of his claws near such delicate skin. With something between a groan and a growl, he breaks their kiss to turn her head to the side, smoothing one reverent hand down the exposed length of her neck. Her heart beat picks up when in one long inhale, Inuyasha traces his nose in a steady line from her collarbone up to the patch of skin just below her ear. He makes a tender noise then, nearly a whine, and without preamble presses his face firmly into the arch of her neck, taking deep unhurried breaths through his nose. Kagome leaves one hand wrapped around the bulk of his shoulders, but brings the other one up to hold the back of his head in place against her. One of his ears flicks against her cheek and in a moment of raw delight, a giggle bubbles up from her throat as does a fresh wave of tears. Inuyasha flattens the offending ear against his skull but Kagome remains undeterred and drops a sweet kiss on to the delicate appendage, the soft fur tickling her lips a little. She holds him even closer as he melts against her at the intimate display of affection.

Oh kami she'd missed him so much.  

"Kagome!"

It takes a second for the two of them to come back down to earth, but the call of Shippo's voice encourages Kagome to turn towards the sound of approaching footsteps. Inuyasha makes a firm noise against the skin of her neck -- a warning, like he wasn't ready to let her go yet. He tenses when she ignores him and stiffens even further as Shippo continues to barrel closer. In the span of a heartbeat Inuyasha has Kagome behind him and lets a true growl rip from his throat. Kagome startles against his back, realizing belatedly that he'd just threatened Shippo.

--

"Inuyasha?" Kagome's words come out sounding like an odd mix of admonishment and worry.

Shippo looks genuinely shocked at being challenged with such a territorial threat display, having slid to an abrupt halt at Inuyasha's feet. Inuyasha comes back to himself after a few beats, brain catching up with his instincts, and his aggression falters.

"Slowly," Inuyasha grinds out as he steps to the side to allow Kagome to come forward, working furiously to relax his muscles.

Respecting Inuyasha's warning, Shippo moves very carefully towards Kagome, though he only manages to take two steps before Kagome is crashing to her knees and hauling him into her arms.

"Shippo!" She cries and Shippo immediately starts bawling.

The young kitsune grabs tuffs of her hair in his tiny fists and smashes his face into her neck, repeating her name over and over again unable to help himself. Inuyasha stiffens again at this, but grits his teeth against the instinct to tear the runt clean out of Kagome's arms. She wouldn't like that, and honestly neither would Inuyasha, he knows how much Kagome means to Shippo.

What's wrong with me?

"You, you made it back!" Sango bursts as her and Miroku catch up and come to a stop a few feet in front of them, kids in tow.

"It's been much too long Kagome!" Miroku calls in absolute astonishment.

"Miroku, Sango!" Kagome all but weeps as she rises from the ground, Shippo still held tight in her arms, and rushes to embrace them.

Inuyasha feels that angry tug in his gut again at the idea of so many scents polluting Kagome's skin so soon after getting her back, but the larger part of him can only smile as he watches his woman hug Sango then Miroku -- mindful of the kids in their arms and murmuring little 'hello's to them as well. He can smell the depth of their rapture as they all rejoice Kagome's return. It puts Inuyasha's heart into a state of profound contentment, and he realizes then that he's never felt this way before. Who knew anticipation could be a good feeling? Because damn was he ready to experience every single tomorrow with Kagome by his side.

--

The rest of the afternoon is spent celebrating. Kagome reunites with Kaede, the elder priestess nearly speechless with elation at seeing Kagome push aside the noren of her hut. To Kagome's surprise Rin is also there, the young girl delighted by Kagome's return as well, and hadn't hesitated to gush about how lonely Inuyasha was without her. Inuyasha had only shrugged at this, not denying it but still sent a betrayed glare Rin's way as color rose high on his cheeks. Kagome is welcomed back by the people of the village too, townsfolk she'd gotten to know during her time collecting jewel shards being especially pleased to see her, though they knew not where she'd gone. Kagome and Inuyasha stuck to each other like glue through it all, unwilling to part for even a moment. No one blamed them.

At one point Kagome started to panic because she had to pee of all things, and the thought of loosing sight of her hanyou if only for a minute terrified her. The fear that this was a dream kept gnawing at her, and the possibility that this could all be taken away at any moment made Kagome feel physically ill. She'd held it in as long as she could before walking nearly knock-kneed to relieve herself. It turned out Kagome needn't have worried at all because without a word Inuyasha had followed her, giving her true privacy for only as long as it took to empty her bladder before he was within her sights again. Kagome had blushed furiously when it occurred to her that him being so close while she used the bathroom probably meant that he could...smell it. When she tried to shoo him away he only stared at her, firmly shaking his head no once, and waited. After Kagome had finished she'd made her way back over to Inuyasha, feeling incredibly sheepish about the whole situation. The moment she was close enough though he'd pulled her into a desperate hug and whispered,

"Please bare with me Kagome, I-I can't..." He'd trailed off but Kagome was already hugging him back, refusing to let go. She understood.

They shared a grand feast with Sango and Miroku that evening, Kagome using the time to properly acquaint herself with their children. Shippo sat in her lap for most of the meal, and its as she stared at her friends -- her family, that Kagome realized that she'd been given something truly precious and everything in her vowed to never let it go. This was more than she could have ever hoped for, and the fear that this was temporary strangled her multiple times throughout the reunion. But Inuyasha was always right there beside her, and having him close ended up being the only way to ease the worst of her anxiety. After everyone finished their food and caught up on each other's lives as much as they could in one sitting (the serious questions being left for tomorrow), the pair said their goodbyes for the night. Shippo had fought to retire with Inuyasha and Kagome, but was stilled by Miroku's hand on his small shoulder. Kagome embraced Shippo before delivering a soft peck to his cheek, letting him nuzzle back for a beat or two more before promising to come back first thing in the morning.

Now Kagome and her hanyou are getting settled in a hut the villagers had built for Inuyasha that's set on the outskirts of the village. It's quite obvious to Kagome from the state of the place that Inuyasha hardly uses it, though she knows how lonely he gets by himself and she figures he probably spends most of his time with Sango and Miroku who live more centrally to the village. Inuyasha's hut is mounted at the peak of a sloping hill, the tallest in the surrounding area besides the shrine itself. At first she wondered if the villagers meant to ostracize Inuyasha by putting his hut so far from everyone else's, but as they reach the hill's zenith, she realizes it isn't a sign of disrespect but quite the opposite. The vista from his home has views of the entire village and even overlooks a decent portion of the forest. On the opposite side of the hut, miles of stunning countryside sprawls under the hazy light of the setting sun all the way to the horizon. Inuyasha would be able to spot danger days before it arrived, or gain minutes to whole hours of advantage if the threat was a youkai. The villagers aren't keeping him at a distance, they're treating him like their Lord, giving him the highest ground, the most control over the land -- trusting that he will use it to protect them. It makes Kagome's heart clench with raging pride.

"It's beautiful," Kagome finds herself murmuring as they stand side by side overlooking the village together, the wind shifting their hair about their shoulders.

"Yeah," Inuyasha says, sounding distracted.

His tone makes Kagome shift her gaze over to him but she finds that he's already staring at her. Before he would have turned away with a blush and started spouting some blistering nonsense in order to cover up the fact that he'd been caught, but now he lets himself look. It makes something in Kagome's lower stomach go tight. They take each other in for what feels like a bracketed infinity, the moment sacred somehow, and neither of them are willing to break it. Inuyasha takes a step closer and reaches his clawed hands down to gently collect her smaller ones. He brings her hands up to his chest, cradling them there, not once looking away from Kagome's eyes.

"I promise I'll protect you with my life." Inuyasha declares, his voice low and quiet and meant only for her.

Kagome takes an uneven inhale and her heart skips a beat as she realizes he's repeating the same vow he gave to her in her room the night her family was away at the hot springs all those years ago. It hits her then how utterly hers Inuyasha is, how devoted to her he was in the past and how he has remained that way since. It's his way of telling her nothing has changed. Inuyasha watches this epiphany play out on Kagome's face and his expression softens around the steadiness of his gaze.

"I will allow nothing to take you from me again, and I will never leave your side."

Shuddering in the wake of his oath, Kagome shuffles closer to him and finally says what she's always regretted never telling him directly.  

"I love you Inuyasha," She watches as his pupils drag wide at her confession, "You will always have me, and I will happily spend the rest of my life with you to prove that."

Inuyasha slowly lowers his head until their foreheads touch through the hair of their bangs, his eyes closing as he takes a deep breath in through his nose. Kagome feels a wave of peace come over her then that she finds she's quite content to drown in. She stays like that with him for another moment before pulling away just enough to catch his eye.

"My mother," Kagome hushes and Inuyasha instantly stills, "She asked me to give this to you."

Exactly as her mom did, Kagome extracts her hands from Inuyasha's and reaches for his face, fingers tender as they slide against the warm skin of his jaw. Panic flits across Inuyasha's features then, startled at being handled like he was something precious, and realizing he's horrifically unprepared for whatever is about to come next. Kagome's smile is nothing but fond as she tilts his head down enough so that she's able to lean in and deliver her mother's kiss to his forehead. Inuyasha's hands come up to wrap around her forearms, not to move her away but, Kagome suspects, just to have something to hold on to. His ears flatten under the gravity of the gesture. Kagome closes her eyes and remains there for another beat, before pulling away and lifting his face back up only to touch the tip of her nose to his.

"She also wanted me to tell you that she loves you," She murmurs.

Inuyasha releases a wet sounding exhale and attempts to move away -- overwhelmed by the rawness of all of this, but Kagome holds his face firm and presses on, wanting desperately for him to hear the rest because he deserves to know.

"She said she has always seen you as a son, and is proud to consider you family."

"Kagome," Inuyasha begs, his voice a wobbling mess as he nuzzles closer in defeat, unable to stand the depth of Mrs. Higurashi's gift to him.

After a long moment of them just breathing, he shifts his head and quietly slots their lips together. He releases his grip on her forearms so he can snake his arms around her middle, hands wrapping as far across her back as possible, before pulling her flush against him. Inuyasha keeps the kiss chaste -- utterly humbled. Kagome can only imagine what this must mean to him, and she hazards her mother must have known too.

They stay joined under the warm evening sky as the stars begin to shine through dusk's heavy golden canopy. The sun finally sinks all the way under the horizon, having delayed itself in order to cast as much light as possible onto the pair standing atop the hill -- presenting fate's masterful work to the heavens. A sudden gust of wind picks up around them, and it causes the two to sway a little. Hands clutching tight, lips molding softly, and hair floating around their heads as if submerged in deep water, they know nothing in that moment except each other.

Somewhere far beyond this world, a priestess -- no, an ordinary woman, looks down on Inuyasha and Kagome and smiles.

--

Kagome arranges the light summer quilt Sango lent her over the futon set in the back corner of Inuyasha's hut. She would have to do something (many somethings) in order to make this place livable. A shy glee erupts in her chest at the thought of decorating it, organizing a home for both her and Inuyasha to live in felt surreal to consider even in her own head. She used to daydream about this kind of thing, the fact that she finally gets to fulfill her fantasy -- that it's her life now, takes her breath away.

"Inuyasha?" She calls once she's finished fussing with the quilt, folding one corner down, ready to get into bed.

The hut is dark, the night outside is still, and the fireplace remains unlit so they don't overheat. Kagome tries to swallow the fear cloying up her throat. Ever since she spent a small eternity trapped in endless darkness with the Jewel of Four Souls, she finds she can no longer stand to be alone in the dark. Back in her time, it had to be either her mom, Sota, or Buyo sleeping beside her each night or she wouldn't be able to get any rest at best, and at worst she would descend into an anxiety attack. It wasn't until her grandfather had suggested installing a night light that she was finally able to brave the long nights alone, though she still prefers to have a warm body to cuddle. It was in moments like those that she'd longed for Shippo the most. Once she'd been able to sleep on her own she had the nightmares to contend with, and those always left her feeling as close to true panic as she'd felt when facing Naraku. There are no night lights in the Feudal Era, but Kagome figures she'll be okay as long as she has Inuyasha with her.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome says again, this time unable to keep the quiver of fear out of her voice.

In an instant she feels a rush of air hit her as he drops to a crouch beside her, like he'd bolted to her from across the room.

"Kagome? What's wrong?"

She melts into him and he accepts her weight against his chest easily, strong arms shifting forward to box her in.

"Where were you?" Kagome hopes she doesn't sound as small as she feels.

Inuyasha stills against her for a beat before wrapping his arms around her completely, securing her in his embrace. Kagome accepts this improvement with a grateful sigh.

"Just checking the window." He pauses, then very carefully, asks, "Is...are you alright?"

He sounds worried, crap.

Kagome feels a stab of guilt for freaking him out.

"I'm fine," Kagome assures quickly, "Just, um, I-I'm ready for bed."

Cringing internally, Kagome wonders if that was convincing enough. With that sharp nose of his, she hopes he doesn't pick up on her lingering (but quickly diminishing) fear. How on earth could she convince him to sleep on the futon with her? Surely he won't object? Not after everything that happened between them today?

"Okay, well, I'll uh see you in the morning then," Inuyasha stutters as he begins to untangle himself from her and pull away --

Kagome's panic skyrockets, and before she can say or do anything, Inuyasha must smell the spike in her fear because he immediately winds himself back around her body.

"Woah hey," He hushes, becoming even more alarmed as Kagome all but crawls into his lap.

"I-I can't be alone, at night," Kagome struggles to explain as she takes shelter in his renewed embrace, "The darkness it --,"

She cuts herself off when she feels Inuyasha pillow his cheek against the soft hair at the top of her head.

"I'll hold you till you fall asleep then," He promises in a soft voice, as soft as she's ever heard him speak.

She can feel his words vibrate through his chest, and it calms her nerves some. Kagome wants to argue, wants to push for more -- sleep beside me, hold me all night -- but she doesn't. He doesn't seem to want that, even after promising her he'd never leave her side. Kagome's anxiety gets the better of her and it seals her lips shut. She settles in the circle of his arms and is resolved to be satisfied with this, at least for now, knowing she's much too shaken to negotiate with him tonight. Kagome knows without a shadow of a doubt that she'll wake up the moment he sets her down on the futon, but she doesn't tell him that. Hopefully she can fake being asleep well enough to fool his hanyou senses, and hopefully the knowledge that he's nearby will be enough to stop her from having a full blown episode. If she can hang on till the early hours of the morning, maybe the fragile rays of first light will be enough to cling to. Kagome can admit to herself that she won't be able to maintain this routine for long, but she hopes it lasts until she's plucked up the courage to ask Inuyasha, point blank and without room for misinterpretation, to share her bed.

--

Inuyasha knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight, no way would he risk making Kagome vulnerable to any kind of attack so soon after getting her back. His instincts wouldn't have allowed for any other course of action, and on this front Inuyasha is in rare agreement with his youkai half. But he doesn't expect Kagome to share the same determination. He'd panicked earlier when he smelled how fast and how sharply her fear had spiked. Inuyasha vowed to himself at that moment to never allow her to feel that way in his presence again, not if he could help it. She had held on to him so fiercely, and still is even after hours of being in the safety of his arms. Its like she's afraid he'll leave again. This knowledge makes something in his chest shatter and his gut ache. Unable to stop himself, he rubs his cheek where it rests against the top of her head and takes a deep inhale, letting her scent soothe him. Each time he hears her heartbeat slow and she starts to drift off, he waits a few minutes before trying to lay her down on the futon. Without fail though she's yanked back from sleep every time, as if his touch is vital in order for her to rest. A part of him relishes in this level of dependency on him, his youkai half preening at the fact that his mate --

Inuyasha grunts and stands, unwilling to entertain any thoughts about that, and makes his way swiftly out of the hut and into the mild night. He's careful not to jostle Kagome in his arms too much as he lowers into a measured crouch, and launches himself into the air towards the roof. Landing effortlessly on the balls of his feet, Inuyasha pauses as Kagome sighs in her sleep and twists her fists tighter into the material of his han-juban. Inuyasha blushes to himself thinking about how he had all but tripped out of the hut earlier when Kagome started changing out of her day clothes and into a yukata Sango had lent her in front of him.

With a firm shake of his head he banishes that particular train of thought from his mind, and lowers himself down to sit on the angled roof. After a minute of cautious shifting, he gives up and lies flat on his back, arranging Kagome's sleep-pliant body so she's tucked snuggly between his arm and his side. He tells himself this is different than sleeping on the futon with her, that this isn't breaking any 'rules of propriety' Kagome used to always yell at him about.

Screw it, he thinks, if I get sat for this in the morning it will have been worth it.

Inuyasha tries not to think about how much he sounded like Miroku just now, and grumbles under his breath about stupid delinquent monks and confusing female sensibilities.  

The stars are a dizzying pattern above him, the moon is a sliver in the sky, and Kagome is curled safely into his side with her cheek squished against his chest while one of her leanly muscled arms has thrown itself securely across his waist -- Inuyasha couldn't feel more at peace if he tried. Everything is as it should be. He hasn't felt rightness like this since...well, since Kagome left three years ago. A cool evening breeze floats over them then, shooing away the insistent press of the summer heat, and kisses their temples before moving on. Inuyasha lazily picks apart the different scents the wind carried -- sap from the trees in the forest, ash from the chimneys in the village, wet earth from the banks of the nearby river...he lets it all wash over him, one sensation at a time. He remembers Kagome caught him doing this once years ago, and when she'd asked him about it he'd told her it was kind of like how humans count sheep when trying to fall asleep. A self-soothing exercise is what she concluded it was similar too. Inuyasha didn't elaborate that the habit was an old one he'd developed during his childhood. Back when he was too weak to fight any of the youkai that hunted him, he'd find somewhere to hide and rock himself in time with his breaths, carefully combing through the scents in the air until he was sure the threat had passed. There had been a brief pause before Kagome asked what he could smell, no judgment or disgust, just innocent curiosity and a hint of fascination simmering in the umber of her eyes. No one had ever asked him about his sense of smell like that before. Inuyasha's heart had clenched in his chest, and it does so now as the memory unfolds before him only this time without the promise of pain. Reliving cherished moments of his time with Kagome used to only bring him anguish, but now...

Inuyasha turns his face into Kagome's hairline that's level with his nose, flares his nostrils, and proceeds to take a sleepy inhale. Her scent shoots straight up into his head and a sensation that feels bizarrely like dizziness makes his skull feel light, and his mind feel like its floating. Inuyasha attempts to turn away once the moment passes, but his body refuses to comply. Instead, before he really knows what he's doing, Inuyasha finds himself nosing down her forehead, over the bridge of her nose, past her slightly parted lips, and under her jaw. Kagome mutters something unintelligible in her sleep in response to all of his tender nudging (Inuyasha resolutely ignores the way it makes all of his insides go soft), but ultimately allows her chin to be directed up, exposing her neck to him. Something in Inuyasha flares hot at the action, and he's instantly compelled to guide his nose into the notch of skin between her neck and her jaw. This is what he'd been searching for.

Safe, something inhuman in his head rumbles, only here is safe.

Inuyasha couldn't agree more, Kagome had always been ineffable to him. He had known Kagome by her scent before he'd known her by her features, it's what first caught his attention when Kikyo's spell keeping him pinned to Goshinboku started to falter. Inuyasha hadn't realized it then, but he'd belonged to Kagome the moment she'd told him her name. Inuyasha smiles like a complete love-struck idiot as he remembers the way she had puffed out her chest and demanded that he say her name right.

Ka - Go - Me!

He allows himself to continue grinning like a fool against the skin of her neck because no one's around to mock him for it, and because it feels good to be happy. He's happy --

"Inuyasha..." Kagome suddenly hums, his name on her lips the sweetest thing he'll ever hear.

Inuyasha pulls his face back just far enough to take in her expression, and something glorious surges in him when he finds that she's smiling in her sleep.

--

Phew that was hella soft lol, lemme know what you thought down in the comments below if you'd like! I embellished certain moments a little bit to make them more dramatic bc i couldn't help myself, i hope you didn't mind! Tbh it felt so good to write inukag, like im not gonna lie, I grew up watching the show and it feels a little like coming home to get into these characters' heads. Ok I'm gonna go continue my re-watch of the show now xxx

Masterlist

[jesusmick]

Sad Boy Hours in Mexico

I have always wondered about the deleted scene from s9e6 where Mickey meets a guy wearing a Gay Jesus shirt. Here is a little drabble I wrote to try to fill in some gaps and explain how Mickey decides to go back to Chicago and prison. Featuring Mandy bc I love her. (2000 words).

It is dark by the time he turns the key to his apartment, the faint click of the lock rattling the loose doorknob. He doesn't know why he even bothers to lock it. He has nothing worth stealing, the drugs and the cash both locked up safe in Alonzo's apartment across town. Even if he did have something of value stashed away in his shitty third floor apartment, nobody in the neighborhood would dare try to break in. The people here, his neighbors, they left him alone. Come to think of it, his coworkers did too. Maybe it was because getting in with the Sinola cartel had been his dad's idea. He had been working with them for over a year now selling overpriced party drugs to stupid American tourists, but the other dealers still called him "El Menor". The younger. The lesser. Even 2000 miles away in Cabo, Mickey was still living in his father's shadow.

He kicks the door shut and toes his shoes off, dropping his backpack by the door. He's exhausted. The fog curling around his mind begs him to collapse on the bare mattress in the corner of the room and sleep until he forgets. He has done too much remembering for one day.

Instead, he moves to the beat-up mini fridge in the other corner of the room. Besides the mattress, the mini fridge, and the broken dresser that had been in the room when he moved in, he is alone. The single bare light bulb hanging from a wire in the ceiling does little to make his home for the last 14 months feel lived in.

Opening a beer, Mickey steps out onto his balcony and folds himself into a plastic picnic chair he inherited from his neighbor when she moved out.

Elena. She had been nice, Mickey thinks. Young and terrified, she had reminded him of Mandy. They would occasionally sit out on their balconies together and smoke. She didn't speak English, and Mickey's Spanish was fairly limited, but they got on. She had moved out a few months ago after getting pregnant with her drug addict boyfriend. Mickey knew he was in jail now. He also knew that he was the one who had sold Hernesto the drugs he had been on when he robbed the liquor store down the block. Mickey suspects that Elena knew too, but she never mentioned anything. She never blamed him and when she moved out, she gave him a potted plant and the plastic chair.

The plant had died weeks ago. Mickey wonders if Elena had her baby.

Taking a sip of his beer, Mickey's mind wanders to Mandy. He knew she had left Chicago years ago. They didn't talk much, but last he checked she was in Los Angeles working as a cocktail waitress in a bar frequented by the same trust-fund babies who made up the majority of his clientele. In a way, he was jealous of her, but also incredibly proud. She had gotten out. Out of their father's clutches, out of their shitty neighborhood in the Southside, and out of her own way. She was making something of herself, all by herself, even if that something was watered down appletinis.  

Mickey, he could never be that person. He needed others too much, he thinks. He was too soft, too lost in his own head, too attached. Those first few weeks in Mexico had been some of the loneliest of his life. That was why he fell in with the Sinola cartel in the first place. Well, that and the fact that he was in the country illegally, making holding down a regular job impossible. His father had connections and he was desperate for a distraction. He wasn't stupid enough to call his group of dealers and distributors a family. He knew that they wouldn't think twice about killing him if he did something he shouldn't. But Mickey wasn't stupid, and so far, coasting along in this new life had made things easier. He had a job, a purpose, and a small shitty apartment to come home to at night. It was enough.

Until it wasn't. Until today.

He thinks that maybe he was a little bit numb. That being on his own for so long had turned his head to business and buried his anger, his sadness, his fear under a thick layer of dust and cheap Mexican beer.

Suddenly, he realizes that he is crying. He doesn't know when it started, maybe since he sat down on the porch, but if the dotted teardrops soaking into his shirt are any indication, he has been silently crying for a while now.

He rubs his eyes with the heels of his palms and pulls out his phone. He doesn't know why he does it. But he finds himself scrolling through his contacts and pressing call before he can think twice.

She picks up on the 4th ring. Mickey thinks maybe he would have preferred it if it had gone to voicemail.

"Mickey?" She sounds like she is somewhere crowded, Mickey can hear car horns softly in the background and the sound of high heels clicking on the sidewalk.

"Hey, Mandy." His voice is softer than he intended.

"Hey." There is a long pause before she continues and Mickey thinks that maybe this was a mistake. "I thought you were in Mexico."

"I am. How's LA?" God, this is awkward. Fuck, he and Mandy had never been good with words, even at the best of times. Now, after not speaking in years? What was he thinking?

"It's good, I'm good. I'm on my way to work actually."

"Oh, right. Do you want me to call you back? Sorry, I should have texted first."

"No, no, its fine. I still have a bit of a walk. What's going on?"

And that's it, isn't it? Nothing is going on, at least nothing that should have any affect on Mickey's life. But here he is, sitting on his shitty porch, drinking his third beer, and trying to keep his voice from betraying the fact that he's been crying.

It's just not fair. It's not fair that he should be out there, moved on to some new chapter of his life. Some new partner. While Mickey is here, still somehow waiting for him.

"Mick, you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm still here." He rubs his eyes again, pressing hard until he sees spots. He keeps them closed.

"You heard from Ian?"

It's out there now. The reason he called Mandy. The reason he was so distracted and irritable after seeing that college kid from Chicago wearing the "Gay Jesus" shirt. Alonzo had shoved him out of his apartment while they were counting the day's profits and told him to go fuck himself after his fourth nasty remark.  

"Yeah," Mandy answers, "I've heard from him."

"And?" Mickey asks, suddenly frustrated. He stares out across the balcony railing, streetlamps flickering and the warm glow from neighboring apartments illuminating the street below. They should be staring out at the street together.

"He called me a few day's ago. I guess you heard about the whole Gay Jesus thing. He stopped taking his meds, got in with the wrong people, blew up a van. His sentencing is on Friday."

"Jesus Christ." Mickey exclaims softly.

He's quiet then. He can hear the sound of a crosswalk through the phone and Mandy's heels on the pavement. He thinks she might have pressed the phone to her chest because he hears her greet someone softly and the background noise suddenly fades.

"I should go." Mickey says and he hates how his voice breaks. Hates that he let himself get this affected. Hates that he is here, alone, in his shitty apartment with his shitty job stranded in fucking Cabo of all places.

He is about to press end on his phone and go grab a fourth beer when Mandy's voice, suddenly clear, speaks again.

"He misses you, Mickey." And that is just too much.

"If he misses me so much," Mickey's voice wobbles dangerously, "why did he leave me in fucking Mexico?" And he is openly crying now. He knows Mandy can hear it. And he hates that too.

Mandy sighs. "He's fucked up Mickey. Just like we all are. But he does miss you. He's pissed at himself for going off his meds and embarrassed that he let it go so far, but I think if you called him, he would listen."

"But he wasn't off his meds last year. He was himself. Or maybe he wasn't, I don't fucking know. He kept saying that he had is life together. He said he had a boyfriend."

"Some fucking boyfriend he turned out to be." Mickey thinks he hears real anger in her voice then, and he reminds himself that Mandy cares about Ian too. That Ian's sentencing was probably just as hard for her to hear as it was for him.

"He didn't even notice that he was off his meds, Mick. He just let him spiral until it was too late to do anything about it. He didn't even go to his hearing."

Mickey could hear the sound of metal scraping in the background and he thinks maybe Mandy was opening her locker before her shift started.

"What should I do?" He knows he sounded desperate, lost, but he doesn't care. He is desperate and more than a little lost.

"You love him, and even though he may be shit at showing it, he loves you too. Figure it out, my shift is starting."

"Yeah," Mickey sighs, "Okay. Thanks, Mandy."

"Bye. Call me later if you want."

She hangs up and Mickey drops the phone to his lap.

This whole day was just too much. Mickey isn't sure what he had expected Mandy to say, but hearing that Ian had gone off his meds and blown up a van wasn't it. When he saw the kid's shirt, he assumed that Ian had taken a job as some sort of gay preacher or social media activist and was now living a cushy life with his boyfriend in one of the hipster neighborhoods up in Chicago. His boyfriend who was probably just as smart and attractive as Ian. Someone who appreciated craft beer, who wrote poetry, and drank soy milk. Not someone with a lengthy criminal record, a fucked up family, who didn't know how to love someone without driving them away.

Somehow, knowing that Ian's life was falling apart, that his boyfriend as a piece of shit, and that he was going to prison gave Mickey a sick sort of vindication. He would never have let things get that crazy. He would have noticed Ian's mood swings and erratic behavior. He would have taken care of him and set him straight before he could have hurt anyone. Before he could hurt himself.

But Mickey knows that isn't fair, and truthfully, he is more worried for Ian than anything else. He has no idea what mental state he is in or how long his sentence will last. And prison is no place for someone like Ian. He's too soft. Too caring. Too proud.

With a new resolve, he wipes his hands on his jeans and picks up his phone. He doesn't really know who to call about something like this, so he finds the phone number for the public defender's office.

The call is quick and to the point. He knows what he wants and he knows what he is going to risk.

He agrees to meet them at the border in Tijuana in two days.

In the morning he will have to get a bus, a nearly 24 hour drive up the coast. But now, for the first time in over a year, a calm settles over him.

The plastic picnic chair strains as he stands, scraping against the concrete of his balcony.

He's not scared of prison. Looking around his room, he realizes that he has been practically living in a prison cell since arriving in Cabo. He is scared of Ian, though. Scared that Mandy is wrong. That Ian doesn't love him and that he is giving up his freedom, his future, for a man who has left him heartbroken so many times before.

As he crawls into bed, arranging his limbs under a threadbare blanket, his mind jumps back to a lifetime ago.

What you and I have makes me free.

Mickey thinks that he was right, back then. There is no freedom for him without Ian Gallagher.

[momentofmemory]

it’s almost the end of october, which means one of the greatest, most terrifying exploits known to writers is upon us: NaNoWriMo.

there are plenty of super good survival posts out there, but as this’ll be my seventh time participating (six wins, hoping for a seventh), i thought i’d drop my own set of tips into the mix. i’m going to focus mostly on the practical details of how to write; if you want tips on the writing itself either search the writing/reference tags or pester me to do another one later :P with that said, ~on with the post~

Step One: Figure Out Your Goal

i know, i know, obviously it’s to write 50k, but what does that mean to you? are you expecting

polished prose, ready to send off to a publisher?

being able to write every day? 

just throwing up a bunch of ideas?

a mix of everything?

all of these are valid, but they’re going to require different approaches. if you want jaw-dropping writing, you’re going to need in the ballpark of five or more hours each day, if not more. if you want consistency, you’ll want to look at your normal schedule and set up a couple times you know you can write at. if just you want words, pretty much all you need to make sure is that you squeeze writing time in whenever.

your goal will probably change as the month progresses, and that’s totally fine. just check in every so often to remember a)what you’re working for and b)if it’s actually plausible. speaking of...

Step Two: Realize Your Limitations

1. Typing.

imma get super practical here: your typing speed dictates how fast you can get done. if you write 40wpm (the average), you cannot write the full 1667 in a half hour any more than you can run a mile in under three minutes. it’s honestly not a bad idea to check out your own speed, if only to help you understand yourself better. in my experience, actual writing then works like this (using my max speed, 89, as an example):

Absolute Max: 89 wpm (baseline)

Warring: 70 (75% of baseline)

In the zone: 45 (50% of baseline)

Taking my time, concentrated: 22 (25% of baseline)

anything lower than your max/4 probably means you’re spending a lot of time either researching or staring at the page, so just be aware of that.

2. Time & Focus

this kinda goes without saying, but best case scenario this is at least 1-2 hours of your life a day, or dedicating full Saturday/Sundays if you’re a weekend warrior kind of person. it’s so, so worth it if you can make time for it, but also don’t feel bad if you can’t! doing a half nano (25k) or whatever you want is also a fully acceptable plan.

that said, if you do have time, figure out your focus too. if you’ve never been the kind of person that can type for six hours straight, you will probably not magically become this person when it hits Nov. 1 (though with practice, you might be by Nov. 30). i like trying to write at least 300 before work and another 300 during lunch. that way there’s only 1k left for the evening, and having words on the page just makes me feel better. experiment with different ways of blocking out your time in the first few days and see what works best for you.

3. Don’t Forget You Live in a Body

writing is hard work, you will need to eat brain food! hunching over wrecks your back, stand up and stretch every so often! you will hate existing if you forgo sleep for days! and for the love of charles dickens, patron saint of getting paid by the word, take care of your mother-effing wrists!!

seriously on that last one. i’ve ignored it in the past and thoroughly screwed up my wrists one year; don’t be me. keep in them in a neutral position, do regular stretches, and if you need to, get wrist wraps (i recommend these).

Step Three: Actually Doing the Thing

the previous steps have had pretty broad advice, but now it’s time to get down to the nitty-gritty. these are mostly things i know work for me, and therefore may not for you—adjust to your own needs!

1. Write for 15 Minutes Every Day, Non-Negotiable.

i don’t even mean this is a “write 15 min and then your brain will be tricked into writing more” kinda way, but like, literally. you’re probably not going to be able to do 1667 every day—sometimes you’ll be tired and just won’t have the time. you’re very likely, however, to have 15 minutes, and you’ll want to use them. Doesn’t matter if you write 50 words or 500 in that time, at least you’ll have done something, and that’s usually enough to keep you from feeling like just giving up the next day.

2. You Might Need Physical Spaces

i’m a pretty sensory person when it comes to writing, and having a dedicated writing space is so helpful for me. going back to the idea of being an embodied person, it’s a lot easier to get your brain into a writing mode if your body’s already there. some good options include:

coffee shops (cozy! food!)

a specific room in your home (easily accessed! do what you want!)

libraries (free! quiet!)

a friend’s house (writing buddy! easy access to sounding board!)

all of these places usually have access to wifi, which is a positive.

3. You Definitely Need Digital Spaces

i pretty much always write in the same processor, once again because it helps set the mood. the main options include:

google drive (solid choice, cloud backup, mobile accessible)

dabble writer (cloud backup, links to nano, dark mode, chapter options)

write or die (only for actual writing—a scary but effective motivator; save elsewhere)

word/pages/etc. (ready to go on your computer, formatting options)

scrivener (great plotting tools, detailed interface)

i use dabble writer myself (they’re a nano sponsor, so you can get it free for this month, and as a double bonus you get it half off for the rest of the year if you win). and no, i’m not getting paid to wax poetic about them, but honestly i’ve used it to win the past two years and i adore it. 

anyway my biggest tip here is that i SUPER SUPER DON’T RECOMMEND NON-CLOUD OPTIONS. it’s very risky, but if you must, do a proper back up at least once a week. that shiz is not worth it.

4. The Timer is Your New Best Friend

because i’ve heard this argument before: no, it’s not a crutch, and no, it’s not cheating. it’s literally best practices. i’m personally a big fan of this online timer, and i let it run for 15 min every time i write. after each session i check how many words i wrote, then after maybe a quick 1-2 min break, start over.

you can totally set the timer for longer or shorter periods, depending on what works for you. i’m a fan of the 15 min sessions bc it’s just long enough to get a bit of flow going, and just short enough that i can convince my spacy brain that we can get through it without wandering. it’s also a fantastic length for warring, if you’re down for that.

5. Write That Idea Down for Lewis’s Sake

the original idea for the chronicles of narnia came to c.s. lewis when he was at a restaurant, and thank the lord, he wrote it down on a napkin. he wouldn’t write it until some time later, but if he hadn’t written it down, he might’ve forgotten it. why is this important, you ask?

BC YOU WILL FORGET THINGS.

if you have an idea, write it down in your phone or your notebook or the waterproof paper in your shower, because i don’t care how sure you are that you’ll remember it, you super won’t. i’ve forgotten many solutions to plot holes in my time and i still hold vigils over their graves. don’t be me. write it down.

Step Four: Managing that Inner Critic of Yours

all right, pay attention. i’m not going to tell you not to edit, because i would be a massive hypocrite if i did. i totally edit during nano. the important part is letting your editor help you win, not hurt you. and that means gaming your critic’s system.

1. Have a Dedicated Deletion Section

many people hear “don’t delete anything” and baulk, because for some of us it’s distracting and we want to rewrite that section until it matches our vision. so, i’m here to tell you: delete it!! rewrite entire chapters!! just save the original content as part of your word count. this is another reason i love dabble, bc at the start of nano i just make a separate part of the book, label it “delete”, and any time i’m writing and dislike a sentence/paragraph i just dump it into that folder and move on. this way you still get to keep the numbers (and why shouldn’t you? you wrote them!) while also writing words you actually like. plus, sometimes that line you deleted in ch. 1 winds up being supremely pertinent in ch.15, and now you can just copy/paste it instead of having to try to remember what exactly you’d said.

2. Acknowledge Ranting as a Time Honoured Tradition

think there’s no precedent for that 2K diatribe you wrote on the london underground? well fear not, because you can’t possibly do worse than hugo’s entire chapters worth of content on the french sewer system! or melville’s frankly terrifying obsession with the finer features of whale biology!

like, yeah, maybe you’ll decide later you don’t need it, but for now, embrace that soap box. dead white guys have been doing it for centuries and still get places in college syllabi. the least you can do is give it a place in your word count.

Step Five: Have Fun!

i know, i know, it’s cliche, but seriously. if this isn’t fun, or at least rewarding, why are you doing it anyway? so enjoy it! send passages you’re proud of to your friends! daydream about it in the car on the way to work/school! cry over a notebook about the twist you just came up with! nano’s a time of fun and exploration, and you shouldn’t miss out on it because you’re thinking too much.

also, this might be counter productive to put at the end of an essay on nano, but don’t obsess over reading essays on nano :P there comes a time when one must simply do, and nano is pretty much the definition of that.

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

MCs background chapter 8: Resurrection

Honestly, this chapter is just as nonsense as it was in my head. It took me awhile to write it bc what the hell. How did I even wrITE THIS DJWJW. I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense bc honestly idk what was going on in my head. I still loved the idea tho. Plus, i don’t even know exactly what happened and I wrote it. So, I’m just gonna go with what Julian said from The Arcana...It’s mystical malarkey! As in, no one has ever experienced that and don’t know how it happened, so there isn’t exactly an “explanation”. It’s just kinda bs XD. Anyways enjoy! Plus, there is some information at the bottom.

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Zosk and Sarah had gotten really close. He had wished he was alive once more. She was 14 and strong. She was in 8th grade and dealt with all of her anxieties. She would talk to him about them in her dreams, even if she didn’t remember what he told her when she awoke. She was happy to be with him as he was with her. He didn’t know why he suddenly felt like this. Why did he get close to her? He never got close to any other person he visited. To be fair, he hasn’t visited many people. He couldn’t remember what happened after he died, but he just awoke one day and knew he had to pass on his power. He visited around 8 people? He always stopped when they were 25 or sometimes even younger. So, he knew his time was limited. He had been like this for 200 years, so he may have found his person. Or maybe not. He would have to wait and see.

“What happened today?” She jumped up and down. They were standing in a forest area once again. They were at the same bridge she was at when she was 8. He would bring her here sometimes, to see the fish and calm her down, or just talk to her about magic. “I went to school and I met a boy!” Zosk immediately laughed. Was he going to have boy talk with Sarah? That made him uncomfortable, but he would wait and see if it came to that. He hoped it wouldn’t. He isn’t good with emotions since he rarely feels them. He only feels them with he was with Melody and Sarah. That was it. It was weird, but that’s how he felt. “Hmm, and what happened with this boy?” She blushed and curled some hair around her ear. She did that from time to time when she was nervous or shy. “Nothing really, we just talked and stuff.” Zosk smirked at her. “You feel feelings already?”

Sarah laughed. “I don’t know yet, but I do like to be around him, and my heart does race when I’m around him.” She looked at him with a confused look. “What is that feeling?” He sighed and thought for a few moments. It could only be love. “Love. But, you better ask your mom. She’s better at feelings than I am.” She nodded and hugged him. “Thanks for doing this.” He hugged her back but looked down at her. “Doing what?” “Talking to me and being with me. I wish I could see you in real life. It would be a lot easier. I wouldn’t even have to forget you!” He got a bit sad at that. She would have to forget him. He couldn’t let her know about all he was yet, and all about magic. Her mother wanted to keep it away from her, so he would listen to Melody. He may have been an empire ruler, but he was a nice man. He sighed and ruffled her hair. He couldn’t tell her the truth just yet. “Yeah, I guess you wouldn’t.”

She pulled back from the hug and they both began to walk back to the beginning of the forest, still holding hands. It was something that never changed. They always held hands. Well, not always, but he held her hand for her comfort, but he couldn’t deny that it was also for his comfort. It just kept him grounded and at peace. He wished he could really be with her. Not just to make his decision, but to spend time with her. He’s been dead for so long, and with no one to be with him, it began to become lonely. He didn’t know what he would do when he had to leave her. He shook his head. It wasn’t the time to think of that. For now, he just needed to enjoy the moments he did have with her.

A few months had passed and Sarah kept asking about magic. She always seemed to want an example or a tale of Zosks. It wasn’t that weird since she did ask from time to time, but it was more persistent recently. He just took it as her growing up and wanting to know about magic. She was a very curious kid, just like her mother, so it made sense. However, it just seemed...out of nowhere.

Sarah was in her room, sitting on the bed, crisscrossed, and Zosk was sitting in front of her doing the same position. “Why do you want to know so much about magic?” He asked her. She looked away and began to curl some hair around her ear, uncurl it, and repeat the process. “Sarah?” Zosk said, with a serious tone. She looked at him and sighed. “It’s because you want to offer me your power, and I don’t even know what it does. I’m worried that I might mess up, or I might do something horrible because of it,” she said, her voice getting softer after every word. She looked back down at her lap. “I feel kinda scared. It’s why I want to know more about it so I don’t mess up what you might give me.” He looked at her and could hear the vulnerability in her voice. She was scared. Really scared. She’s kept it down for so long and dealt with it, but now has gotten it out. It made his heart ache that he put this much pressure on her and anxiety. But he couldn’t help it. This much power would cause anyone to have anxiety and worries. However, he did feel a slight relief. He was a bit happy that she didn’t remember everything when she woke up. Happy that she didn’t have this burden on her 24/7. Now that would put him in pain.

He got closer to her and pulled her into his lap. He now felt like a father helping his daughter. “Well, if you decide when you’re older, then I’ll help you. I’ll teach you about it, I’ll tell your family, I’ll help you through it. You won’t have to do it alone. I promise,” he said to her, and he meant it. She was scared and he hated it. He wanted to help her and protect her and he would do so as long as she’d let him. Sarah felt tired and her head fell onto his chest, her eyes closed, and her breathing relaxed. He knew it was almost time for her to get up, so he put her back to sleep. “I wish I had the power to bring you to life once more,” she whispered to him. He felt like crying. She was too pure and innocent, and she was wishing for the impossible. He can’t bring himself back to life, and no one else could either. He had been dead for too long and didn’t have a body. He felt his shirt get wet and looked down and realized Sarah was crying.

However, something was different.

Her tears...were bright yellow. Like a sun drop. He’s seen her cry before, and they didn’t look like that, but now they did. It was weird and he didn’t understand. He’s never heard of that happening before. He looked back down and saw more tears of yellow colored falling onto his shirt. They seemed to dissolve and he saw his skin start to turn back to a color. It wasn’t shadowy anymore, it was turning back to regular skin. He looked at his shoulders and noticed his hair coming back to a color as well. It was blue and just past his shoulders a bit. His clothes seemed to come into color as well. His long robe coming back into his view. However, it all seemed so big to him. As if it didn’t fit him. He looked down at his body and realized...he was a child. Well, he had a teenager sized body. He stared at his body in shock and horror.

“What the hell, what the hell, what the HELL.” He said. His body was back completely, and he noticed Sarah wasn’t crying anymore. Did her tears do this? She was just a human, so it didn’t make sense to him. He shook his head and knew he had to go somewhere else. To Melody. He watched over her and knew she wanted to see him again. “I guess this is as good as ever to see her.” He put Sarah back under her covers and he closed his eyes and ended the dream. His body was back, so he felt the cold air of the room when he entered Melody’s room. Melody woke up and looked at him. She didn’t have a choice to not wake up, since whenever he enters someone’s dream, he wakes them up instantly. “Who are you?” She looked at him with a look of confusion.

She got up and walked over to him. She poked his arm and didn’t feel a shadow. She felt an actual arm. She looked at him with confusion. Before she could say anything, Zosk spoke. “It is Zosk, but your daughter, Sarah, did this. I’ve been with her for a long time. I never told you because I thought you would get mad but now Sarah has done the impossible and I didn’t know who else to come too.” He was rambling. Melody looked at him with so much confusion. She wasn’t really angry at him. He didn’t really have any control over who he discovered. It just happened by chance. She nodded but stared at him. He was a teenager. A literal fucking teenager. She didn’t know how Sarah was able to turn him young again, but she did it.

She started to pace as she thought. She didn’t know how this was possible either. Sarah was a human, while her siblings were all magicians. She assumed that this was caused by light magic, but she didnt have any! It didn’t make sense. Maybe she really did have magic? Melody didn’t know. She just sighed and looked back at him. “Let’s just say, it was a miracle. I can’t think of an answer, and if you’ve never heard of it, then it’s most likely never happened before.” He nodded and looked concerned. “What am I going to do?” Melody suddenly got an idea and smiled. “Well, we first have to tell my husband, then we get you a makeover. These clothes don’t fit you anymore.” Melody giggled into her hand. Zosk seemed irritated but he was excited about a makeover. He didn’t want to admit it, but he didn’t really want these clothes anymore.

He was an empire ruler in the past and didn’t want reminders of it. He looked at her and nodded. “Tell your husband when he wakes up?” Melody looked at him. “How? You only enter in dreams.” Zosk shook his head. “I’m real now. I’ll have to come back in this body. So, when you wake up, I think I’ll be there.” Melody looked at him for a minute. She had to make sure she woke up before Gabriel. She didn’t want Zosk to get hurt because her husband didn’t understand why a random teenager was in her house. She didn’t even know if he’d believe her about all of this. She shrugged and just went with the plan. She hoped it would work.

She woke up around 7 am and looked in the corner of her room. She saw Zosk, sitting on the floor, sleeping. He had a peaceful look on his face. “I bet he had girls swooning when he was younger,” Melody said with a little laugh. She looked over and saw Gabriel, still fast asleep. She didn’t want to wake him up, but knew she had to. But first, she had to get the kids up for school and then do the talk. She got up and got the kids up and did everything for them. “I love you!” She said as she kissed them all on the forehead before they ran outside to the bus. She sighed. It was very difficult waking them up in the morning, but she still dealt with it. She basically ran back into her room and let out a sigh of relief as she saw both Gabriel and Zosk sleeping. She walked over to Gabriel and gently shaked him. “It’s time to get up, baby.” He groaned and looked up at her. “Why do I need to get up? We’re both off today, why not join me in bed,” he said with a suggestive tone. She laughed but knew this had to happen. “No, I need to talk now, please?” She gave him the same puppy eyes she did when they first met. She always pulled them out in case of an emergency.

He sighed and sat up and rubbed his eyes. Melody walked over to Zosk and woke him up too. “Hmm?” Zosk said to her. He opened his eyes and noticed her in front of him. For the first time in a long time, he felt sleepy and wanted to continue sleeping. However, he quickly realized the situation. He saw Gabriel looking at him with a shocked face. “I know you’re shocked but we have to talk about something. You’ll probably think I’m insane after I say it.” Gabriel looked at her, then at Zosk, then back at her. “Who is this kid?” “That’s what we have to talk about, and he technically isn’t a kid.” Melody walked over to Gabriel and sat in front of him, grabbing his hands to hold them. “You know about Zosk right? The powerful black magic magician? You told me about him a long time ago,” she told him, rubbing her thumb on his knuckles. He nodded and looked back at Zosk as he got up and walked a little bit closer to the bed. “Well...this is him,” she said. He tried to speak, but was cut off by Melody panicking. “Yes, I know I seem crazy, but you have to believe me. Also, you need to believe me when I say that Sarah did this. She brought him back to life, but as a teenager.” Gabriel just stared at her. He saw her honest expression and tried to believe her, but it was so hard too.

“Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?” “She’s not lying, I promise,” Zosk said. Gabriel looked at him and seemed irritated. He did sense a power coming from him, so it’s obvious he wasn’t a human. But being Zosk the Unconquerable?? It seemed impossible. Plus, how was he supposed to believe that Sarah did this? She was human and that was that! “Are you sure you didn’t do anything to my wife?” “No! He’s been with me since I was young, and now he’s moved on to Sarah. He needs someone to pass his power on to and he went to me when I was young. I said no and that I didn’t want it. So, he must’ve went down the line and just chose Sarah.”

Melody and Zosk spent the next hour talking about their pasts and explaining it to Gabriel. Gabriel just sat there, taking it in, with a few questions sometimes. He didn’t understand it, but he knew she wasn’t lying. Melody never lied to him and he had to believe her. Plus, Gabriel asked questions that almost no one knew the answer to, and he knew that only Zosk would know the answer. He answered them all correctly and just had to believe them. “So, you’re back again? And you’re stuck here with us?” Zosk nodded. Melody smiled at Gabriel and kissed him on the forehead. “Thanks for believing me and taking this better than I thought. I wanted to tell you when we got married, but I didn’t want to seem insane. Plus, he went away for some time and I didn’t know he was with Sarah, so I assumed I didn’t need to tell you.” Gabriel looked at her as she rambled on and kissed her forehead. “It’s fine. I’m just glad I know now. Especially since it involves our child.” “Well, we were close in her dreams, is it possible that we will still be close? Even if she doesn’t know me?” Melody and Gabriel both looked at him. “Only one way to find out.”

Sarah came home around 3:15 PM. Christopher came as well, but Alexandra and Jacob had to stay because they had a club meeting. Sarah and Christopher were too young to be in a club just yet. They were at the end of the year for 8th grade, so next year they would be able to join a club. However, that didn’t matter. Sarah and Christopher came into the house and saw Gabriel and Melody still talking to Zosk. Sarah looked at him and got excited. She loved to meet new people, even if she was very shy. Christopher looked at him and just looked confused. Why was there a random person in their house? Melody looked over at them.

“Guys, this is Zed. He just moved here. I think you’re gonna make great friends.” Sarah walked over to him and held out her hand. “It’s nice to meet you!” Zosk looked at her and smiled. He shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you too, Sarah.” His wish came true. He was alive and able to be with her. Hopefully he will be able to protect her like he promised.

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Yes. Zosks new name is now Zed because I believe that he would just call himself that to Sarah instead of Zosk. Also, I didn’t say it in the writing I think but

Zosk doesn’t get to choose who he goes to. He just wakes up in their dreams. Fate chooses it.

NO Zosk does not feel romantic feelings towards her. I keep thinking that people will see it like that, but I don’t mean it to come off like that. I just want to show that he wants to be close with her and protect her. Like a best friend bond sort of. It’s creepy to imagine them together. A 200 year old magician in love with a 14 year old girl? That’s called pedophilia and disgusting so no.

Also, when they do get older, they both gag at the image of them together. It’s just a fact I decided throw in here to.

Yes. Next chapter there is gonna be more sibling love! All of the siblings are gonna be shown more and stuff. They weren’t shown much in these chapters because I was just explaining the beginning of Zosk and Sarah and how Zosk (or Zed whatever fnwb) is involved in this. Plus, idc what canon is, I imagine Zosk as an actually nice guy. Very kind XD.

I don’t mean Zosk to come off as weird or creepy. He is bound to people when they’re young to see how they will grow and change and handle situations. It wasn’t really his choice. It’s just what happens. He just needs to see who is actually worthy of his power and what they would do with it. It’s just the only thing I could think of. I mean, being bound to someone when they’re like 25 and already grown and stuff wouldn’t exactly benefit him. I just fjsjsj. I just needed for him to somehow be close to her as a child so this was the way I could think of. Plus, it was just my original idea, but I didn’t mean for him to come off as creepy or anything.

Anyway, I’m sorry if this was bad. My writing is kinda bad in this part bc explaining this part of her backstory is kinda weird. It’s just hard to write so I hope this is good!

[boogiewrites]

Choking On Sapphires 20

Title & Song:  No You Girls

Characters: Alfie Solomons x Genevieve (OFC)

Word Count: 5000+

Summary: Genevieve is a force to be reckoned with. An intelligent, independent and brutal businesswoman. She’s been intrigued by Alfie since she met him. But where will she draw the line between business and pleasure now that they are working so closely together? Alfie hires Gen to help him end the blackmailed politician’s pull in London. He’s promised her the bloody good fight she’s been itching for, will the evening deliver?

Warnings/Tags: Language. Fighting. Gore. Blood. Nameless character deaths. Seduction. 

A/N: Every chapter of this story will have a song to work as the title and as a soundtrack. Chapter song is No You Girls by Franz Ferdinand.

Positive feedback is MUCH appreciated! Reblogs, likes and comments feed this artist to write more!

My Masterlist. (Includes Parts 1-19)

You had been invited out tonight for a hit on a club. When Alfie had asked you who you'd suggest hiring to help fight your way in, you could tell by the way his lip disappeared under his mustache when you said your Arthur and the Shelby's, that he wasn't exactly sold on the idea himself. But after telling him no one fought with you better, he reluctantly trusted your choice. 

You were to be handsomely compensated for your skills which would be out in full form tonight. You'd been excited and nervous as the date approached for the job, but now that you were walking in through the back entrance of the club as it was closing, to sneak the door keys and bring them back and wait in the car for your targets to arrive, you felt back in your element.

The director of this group of painfully mediocre wannabes just so happened to be the man who had tried to fuck Alfie over that you had helped steal the blackmail for. Now you found yourself in a position of immunity from the blackmail working like a dream. He can't report the hit, Alfie gets the last word. Everyone who mattered was happy. Alfie still having bones left to pick with this man and since you were involved already, he brought you in as your addition would make the night go much more smoothly, he suggested. He was taking part in this fight, as it felt it was personal at this point. Saying that he needed the opportunity to blow off some steam as well, like old times.

You're slinking across the street in your long, off the shoulder dress. Hidden split up each thigh for ease of movement hugged your curves in thin, soft red fabric to accommodate the summer's heat. Your makeup, the usual dark eye, and red lip, your hair pulled back at the nape of your neck so it wouldn't interfere with your sight or movement. You were very much dressed to kill.

Tommy and Alfie are sitting in the second row of the benched back seats of the large Rolls Royce watching you walk away in the direction of the club.

Alfie's nose twitches, readjusting his grip on his cane. Tommy had lost count of how many times he'd done this. Solomons was moving enough to almost be deemed twitchy. Tommy looks back over to the newspaper he's been skimming while they wait for your return.

"Do you not trust her to do her job?" Tommy asks in his even, cool tone.

"Eh?" Alfie gruffs, looking over at Tommy with a furrowed brow. "I wouldn't've hired her if I dinnit." he says obviously, one hand moving off his cane to express himself.

"Then can you stop fidgeting?" Tommy hides a small half smile with a slight tilt of his head as Alfie leans away from him in a pout. "You've worked with her on jobs before, haven't you? Or are you always this nervous when it comes to her?" he doesn't hide the smirk on his face from his words.

"I 'ave but none this dangerous." he states, thumbing his nose.

"From that statement I take it you've not seen Gen fight before have you?" his eyebrow rising in interest.

"I saw 'er at The Garrison." he offers.

"No that wasn't a fight." Tommy shakes his head. "I mean in the sort of spot you'll find yourselves in tonight." he clarifies, slowly turning his head towards Alfie who's enjoyed the subtle puzzlement on his friends face.

"No." he says, his hand punctuating his sentence with a wag. "But I did see her come home after getting the shit beat out of her by two men a few weeks back." he says with a bad attitude. "So forgive me if I'm hesitant to let her loose on her own."

"Is she your's to let loose now?" he says with implication.

"Don't be fuckin' daft Tommy." he growls. "But I'm the one hirin' her ain't I? She wouldn't be back out doing this so soon if I hadn't asked her to." he elaborates.

"Gen knows her limits, she wouldn't take a job if she thought she couldn't deliver."

"I'd be inclined to believe that." he solemnly nods.

"How's living with her going?" he breaks the silence growing in the car.

"Well you know." he pauses for a moment, "Place is fuckin' huge, innit? She's lovely. Good girl, very hospitable." he says with a firm nod of his head, still looking out the window in the direction you should appear.

"She is." he nods, looking back to his paper.

"She's never boring is she?" he says in a tone that tells Tommy he's become well acquainted with your big personality.

"Not in the years I've known her," he says with a small smile. "I heard you took her out to the Opera?" his voice full of suggestion

"She asked me to," he says with a hint of defensiveness. "What was I gonna do? Say no?" he lets out a gruff laugh.

"So you weren't taking her out?" his question inflects with interest at the end.

"No, mate. Weren't nothin' like 'at." he shakes his head as the words groan out.

"Nothing like that?" he insists.

"If there is from her end, I'm not aware of it." he plainly states, motioning out with his hand. "That is if she is in fact as affectionate with her good friends as she says she is." he pauses, places his hand on the other man's knee, leaning towards him with a look that is supposed to signify he's being impressive, "Which apparently we are now. Just so ya know, mate." He nods as if in sympathy towards Tommy's defeat. "So she has said to me, yeah?" he returns back to his normal sitting position.

"Good friends, eh?" he says with a subdued expression of amusement that would have been visible if it hadn't been dark outside.

"But she ain't like 'at wif you? Is she?" he says, his finger pointing out at Tommy, side-eyeing him.

"She has never been," he says, his face back to indifferent. "She is that way with Arthur and John. Arthur specifically."

"Why not you?" wondering if he'd done something to make her not want to be as close to him.

Tommy swallows before he speaks. "I've always assumed it's because she was a friend of Grace's." he says, the usual micro-lilt of her name as he forces it out of his mouth.

"Ah." he nods in agreement. "Now that would make sense, yeah." he ponders it a moment before quickly moving back to his questions. "Her and Arthur seem strangely close what with how she talks about 'im, what's the story wif 'at 'n all?"

"They're not fucking if that's what you're asking." he says with a bit of a tired drag to the words.

"That's not what I said, Tommy." he says a bit with the hint of offense.

"No but it's what you meant, wasn't it?" he says knowingly. Alfie gives him a strong side eye after turning his head from his direction. After a few moments of Alfie's silent treatment, he continues, "I believe they talk about art mostly. They're both very good to have on your side in a fight and they're both also very emotional. Seems that makes a friendship these days." he says with a short sigh.

"Well that checks out, dunnit?" he mumbles, still looking out the window.

"Seein' as he's married 'n she's watchin' the kid 'n all." he clarifies to himself mostly. "She didn't seem like the type of woman who'd do that sorta fing." he says more quietly, his eyes narrowing in consideration.

"She isn't." he agrees flatly. "She's a good woman, Alfie." he adds with more sincerity, nodding his head as he looks over his paper.

"It's hard to believe she's as good as she is, Tommy." he admits, his voice not showy, his hands not moving. "Hard to believe there are any women left like 'at all."

Tommy's eyes slowly look up and forward, taking in his words and what they told him about how he felt. "It is very hard to believe." he quietly agrees. They both sat in silence with heavy thoughts about the women on their minds. ---------------------------------------- Tommy leaves the car, going to a street over to wait for John and Arthurs signal that all the men had all arrived. You're turned around in your seat, on your knees. Your forearms crossed on the back of the seat, facing Alfie.

"What's wrong with you tonight?" you ask, your eyes narrowing as he keeps his eyes on Tommy leaving. "You've been acting odd." you pry with a tilted head.

He turns his eyes your way for a moment, before moving them back out the window. "What are you on about?" he huffs out.

"I know you Alfie, I can tell when something's off." you hum at him, resting your chin on your arms. "What is it about me that's throwing you off tonight? Let's fix it before we get in there bc I don't want it distracting me." you insist with a nod of your head.

"Well you were beat all to hell not that long ago, weren't ya?" he bites a little too harshly at you, looking back at you. You give him an attitude-filled glare.

"So you think I shouldn't be doing this." you say with a slow nod, pursing your lips in disappointment. You sit back up, lifting your chin from your arms.

"Don't be puttin' words in me mouth." he says, shaking his finger at you. "That's not what I said now, was it?" he lets his shoulders fall as they'd tensed while he spoke.

"Fear born from worry, then?" your expression softens as you stop your attempt to turn away from him. Your eyes aren't defensive when he meets them again.

"Now I just told ya not to do that, dinnit I?" he looks back out the window. No longer revving up, his face was set in an angry sort of pout.

"I'm a big girl, I can handle it, Alfie. Don't worry about me. Worry about yourself." you say poking him in the chest, limp-wristed and playful. "Look on the bright side." you offer which a much more subdued and charming expression, "This is the only time you'll ever be nervous for me before a fight because once you see me in there, you'll apologize for having doubted me." you give a challenging grin.

"Now there. That." he points at you. "That's the woman I hired for this tonight. You. Now?" he taps your nose and you can't help but roll your eyes at him. "You. Stay." you commands gruffly and you smile at his playfulness.

"You'll get your money's worth out of me tonight, Solomons, don't worry." you say with a cutesy wink, throwing your head back in a laugh as you turned around in the seat. His eyes give a very slow blink your direction, his head shaking back and forth with a deadpan face at you before you've even turned. -------------------------------------------- The signals are cleared. Everything is in place. Now it's on you to make the first move. Arthur and John are clearing the front guards and the lobby. Alfie clears out the guard in the back. Tommy is the controller, watching outside and making sure no one leaves or enters during the fight. You'd snuck in from the roof. You take a very deep breath, feeling it move through every part of you. You initiate the distraction.

Your heels clack loudly in the most empty club. A large room with hanging chandeliers, huge columns separated a dance floor with an ornately designed ceiling above it. The boys, numbering around fifteen to twenty, all greased up are spread out around a few pushed together tables in the dance floor. Some notice you slink across the landing before your heel hits the stone of the first step, but after that, all eyes were on you. They don't speak for a few steps, you're prim and posh and have all things you hold in your charming arsenal of distraction at full volume. The hit of your metal tipped heels echoes across the cavernous room as they move slowly across the floor to the men. You hear the murmurs begin.

"I think you're in the wrong place, lady." one of them says, this is the one that's just put the target on his head. Lucky boy.

"Quite the contrary," your voice is smooth and velvety, your face set like you know a secret no one else does. "I believe I'm exactly in the right place." you-you laugh, moving one shoulder with the sound, one hand to your chest. The mood shifts slightly in the room. Bait set.

"Oh are ya sweetheart?" he chimes in. You stand between them, still turned away from the back exit.

"You're here aren't you?" you say with a wink as you put your hands on your hips. He gives you a dumb laugh in retort.

"Oh you here for me, doll?" he asks, leaning back in his seat.

"I greeted her first, she's mine." the original speaker almost growls at you, his hand rubbing up and down the back of your thigh.

"Oh I'm here for all of you, handsome." you give a cheeky grin, jutting your hip out in his direction. "Me and my friends were sent here to entertain you boys tonight." you say, putting your shawl around his shoulders. "But I happen to be the first to get here and I'm not one to keep a party from starting."

"That right? he says, looking you over and licking his lips.

"Something about a celebration I'm told? A little something," you shimmy your chest at him with the word, "for a job well done?" you say with warm praise.

"Told ya he wouldn't be mad." the second speaker adds in a defensive tone.

"Guess so." the boy with his hands on your thighs says. "What are you planning on entertaining us with tonight, baby doll?" his fingers grip into the soft flesh under your ass.

"I'm known for my dances." you purr at him.

"You reckon I could get the first one of those?" he suggests, leaning closer and smelling you.

"Thought you'd never ask." you whisper leaning in close, your prominent breasts in his face. "Turn this seat," you say with a kitten like delivery. He raises himself and does as you command. "Now, sit back, luv." you bat your lashes, your hand pushing him back into the chair.

You loom over him like a vulture, taking a moment to look for the men you'd come with tonight. You see Arthur and stretch, letting him know you've seen him. You don't see Alfie yet so, you continue. "You'll all get your chance tonight to dance," you announce to the group, you move back to the boy in the chair. "and I never disappoint." you coo as you push his knees together, standing on either side of them. "But it is much better one on one. Don't you think?" you tilt your head and ask almost innocently.

"Amyfing you say, darlin'." he says in a chuckle, hands already on your hips.  You sink down on him, hands rising above you in and inhale, grinding against him on the exhale. You hitch up your dress, sliding your knife into your hand as you raise it. You look up to Arthur as you lean in close to the boy's ears. He gives a nod and raises a gun from his hiding spot. That was your signal that you were clear and lucky for you, these boys were unarmed. You assume their egos became quickly out of check when free alcohol was involved, and in their pissing contests, they would threaten each other with their guns and that character head boss of theirs couldn't have word getting out about things like that. So he made them start leaving their guns at the door, assuring they wouldn't use them on each other. Guess he didn't think that plan through.

You hold his face in one hand, running your hand over his neck and jaw and pushing his head back when you made your rounds of doing this, his eyes were closed, his life is literally in your hand and you felt the rush of knowing you were about to spill the first blood of the night. You take his chin into your hand and kiss him. He was terrible at it to no surprise, but not surprising in the least is that he's easily distracted. You stand over the boy, your hand holds his head up, looking like any other part of the dance. You hear the footsteps behind you. You tighten your grip on your largest brass knuckle knife. You didn't want to use guns tonight,  but you did have yours to intimidate. You didn't need the attention on the place until you wanted it that way. Alfie had his brass knuckles, along with his hands, adorning crowns and his biggest rings, fists backed by strong arms and broad shoulders. The boys both had their hats. Arthur liked to use the environment instead of planned weapon if he wasn't using guns. He was currently holding a broken bottle. Typical Arthur. John preferred bare knuckles, as he was a powerhouse tank that knew how to take a man off his feet in an endless number of ways. You move your hand now holding your knife to your chest, acting as if you're going to grope yourself and move your occupied hand up his chest quickly. You retrieve your snubnose from your chest and hold the gun to the head of the man next to you as you slice the throat of the man under you. The blood flows down his chest as his hands reach up to his throat, you don't look away from the man in your crosshairs, and you rise off the dying man. The group is wide-eyed in their naivety and still, despite the whispers and curses you hear.

Alfie takes your right. Arthur circles to your left, John finishes the shifting square you've created. The orders were to keep it as quiet as possible and kill all the members of his wannabe gang. That's it. You had intentions on getting messy tonight. Thus the red dress. You needed desperately to work out your tension and that was your intention. Take out as many as possible. The room is quiet except for the gurgling and sputtering of the man who had fallen out of his chair and was now face down on the ground. His wet hands slapping against the intricately tiled mosaic floor as the blood spread out along the cracks mimicking their natural movement in the body like it was flowing through a different set of veins now.

"'Fraid you've made some very poor decisions that's led ya here tonight, boys." Alfie nods as his booming voice echoes around the room. "The worst bein' the decision to work for your bastard of an employer and that decision will be the fuckin' end of ya tonight." he states with a strong nod. "So say your fuckin' prayers to who the fuck ever and let's this get this over with, shall we?" he says with a charming grin, adjusting his grip slowly on the dusters in his hands.

They stay still, some standing in defiance but carrying those actions no further. These men really were pathetic.

"Are you just going to sit there like a bunch of fucking pigs waiting for slaughter or are ya gonna fucking fight?" you shout loudly, taking a few steps back, your arms out at your side in exaggeration.

You hear Arthur curse  with impatience and the broken glass hits the mans face as his friend jumped to his defense and it went from there. You and Alfie picked them off from behind. You struck, stabbed and hit at temples, throats, noses and groins. Each leaving you with more and more blood on your person. The way these boys loomed over you in your fighting stance led to attack from above, making any throat slice, if deep enough, spurt out another gush of blood, dripping down your dress after soaking the upper half of your body, before you could get out of range.

They begin to notice you're picking them off and they start to move in numbers towards you and Alfie. Then it became a true brawl. You have your knife, it and the combination of the knuckle dusters were enough to temporarily disarm most in just a few well-placed hits. You see the lack of form these fellows have, lumbering and easily distracted. Your speed and knife to their panic, swinging chairs, and broken bottles wasn't the fairest fight to them but it allowed you to enjoy yourself. The more you take down, the more they seem to want to be the one to take you down.

You hear things crashing around the room, but you can't pay much attention as they start to swarm and you have to switch gears. You go low, taking their feet out from under them in kicks and hits, your legs striking high at chins and guts as your skirt flies out in a pleasing floral, fluid visual amongst the dark moving forms of men on the floor around you.

By the end you're underneath the last man who happened to be rather large, giving you a bit a fight to finish. You've got the knife pushed through the top layers of his body where his neck used to be, now just a deformed mess from the struggle as you shout in frustration and effort to shove him off of you.  He'd had his hands around your throat, you'd matched this with the knife across his and a thumb in his eye. Once you see your boys standing and watching you, each look a bit predatory in its own unique way, you let your shoulders slump as you move to all fours to standing, in realization it was over. Arthur looks like the runner-up in being covered with the most blood, behind you who was literally sopping with it. You rise, moving your dress as it makes heavy wet squishing sounds as you do so.

As you stand and look down as you  notice none of their eyes were meeting yours, you see the fabric of the dress really wasn't made to have gotten wet as it is leaving nothing to the imagination. Your nipples being hard from the blood coursing fast through your veins are painfully visible as they do look hard enough to cut with the way the fabric sucked to your skin as you moved. Your arms especially, caked in fresh and clotted blood are the same color as your already red, blood-soaked dress giving the illusion of not wearing anything at all, really. You let out a grunt of frustration as you fling the gore from your hands and move towards them slowly, especially thankful now for the previously concealed slits in the thighs of your dress as without them, walking would have been really damn difficult. The moisture in the fabric making it so heavy.

"You could've stepped in at any time on that last one ya wankers. Ruined my bloody dress." you grumble, you are met with silence. "I'm gonna start fuckin' charging all of you if you don't stop fuckin' gawkin' like some schoolboys." you bark at them, making them stand at attention. They were all wound up from their violence and you weren't actually mad. You were just annoyed at the shift in the mood around you like this, being bothered more by how it bothered others rather than the nudity itself.  "Jesus Christ boys, pull yourselves together." you say in a higher pitched voice, pulling the off the shoulder dress up as it was starting to shift.

You looked like a statue carved from red marble by the most gifted artist known to man, he thought. Although this statue of a goddess was real and moving and breathing heavily, perfect proportions shown in their rhythmic movement that could steal your words from your mouth and make it go dry. He was still grunting and heaving, his fists just starting to remember how to unclench, wanting to act on the thoughts that formed in his mind at the sight of you that matched his animalistic current appearance. Your scolding tone snaps him out of his hungry gaze as he clears his throat and puts the brass he wore in his pockets, moving towards you.

"C'mon, boys," he groans, taking off his coat and wrapping it around your shoulders, his hands resting on your shoulders. "She'll make us pay for the gift of sight if we keep using it to look at her." he says with a chuckle, having taken out a lighter and cigarette as he spoke, he hands it off to you. You look him over, as he helps you, hair damp from sweat, just the least bit of blood on his white shirt. His hair flopped about before he wiped it back with this hand, you always found it charmingly boyish when you caught the rare chance to see it in its natural state.

You slide your arms into the oversized coat and accept it, lighting it between your fingers with narrowed eyes. Thinking this gesture felt like an odd sort of power move from him, although his eyes were passive as they turned from you. You couldn't help but notice Arthurs displeasure at Alfie being the one to do your post-fight aftercare he'd been used to handling.

You regroup swiftly, the brothers gone, leaving you and Alfie to depart together.

"You mind if I take a bottle, boss?" you say, hoisting up your dress as you walk towards the bar.

"You got all the liquor in the world at home, luv." he says, moving his hands back and forth, dismissing the idea but your back is already towards him.

"I know but I want it for the drive home. I prefer my hard liquor to be earned after a job nowadays." you say with a laugh, leaning over the bar and grabbing a bottle of whiskey and walking towards the back door. "That got us?"

"That's got you, you sneak on to the car and I'll be out after I sort this out." he says, shooing you off with his hand.

"Yes, sir." you say with faux enthusiasm, hoisting up your dress in your arms to make it easier to get to the car.

Once you settle in with a swig and your cig, letting out a loud, pleasurable exhale of a job well done, you wait for Alfie. As you sit in the dark, having spent all your energy inside, and having still been so close to recovering from your last fight, you found yourself absolutely exhausted.

You rouse as he slides into the car with a grunt. You yawn as he settles. "Good?" you ask with a stretch.

"Should be, yeah." he says with a nod as the car starts.

"That went pretty well I think." you say optimistically, settling your back against the seat, and into the coziness of his coat. Drinking from the bottle, looking miniature in the oversized coat and sleeves that hid your hands as they grasped at the bottle.

"Yeah it did." he says with an enthusiastic nod.

You nod in agreement, taking your shoes off and pulling your legs underneath you and your turn to face him, the side of your face on the back of the seat. "Alfie?" you ask, in that tone you know he recognizes.

"Yeah, luv?" he says with a half smile, voice holding amusement for your call of his name, reminding him of a cat meowing for treats.

"I'm completely fucking knackered." you admit with a lazy smile, your eyelids resting lower than usual.

He laughs at you. "Ya sleepy there little one?" he teases.

"Yeah,  little ones sleepy." you say with a slow lazy chuckle, your head leaning back on the seat, you rest the bottle in the floor.

"Well ya earned your rest after that in there tonight," he says supportively. "I believe my personal apology is in order after that wonderful show you put on. I shouldn't have questioned your judgment on the matter." he expresses genuinely, you feel him moving, speaking with his hands despite your eyes being closed. "Since ya keep goin' on and bein' right even with the odds stacked against ya." he says, not hiding that tone of being impressed and confounded at your behavior. "You'd think I'd learn." he tsks himself playfully.

"Now's not the time for praising pillow talk, Solomons, I'm tired." you smile, your eyes staying closed with your tilted back head, a smug grin on your face. -- You wait until you're out of the city and away from the lights. "Safe to unbutton this coat now?" you ask, breaking the quiet of the cabin of the car.

"Yeah, take it off if ya want, we won't run into no trouble now." he says in a tone that tells you not to be silly, do what you want. You run with this unverified permission.

You unbutton all the buttons on the long jacket, feeling better as the air hits you, cooling you immediately. You fan it a few times until you shiver, scooting closer to him and putting your head on his shoulder.

"What's this now?" he says in a laugh. "Never had a business partner do this after a job." he teases.

"Well the jobs over." you state in a bratty tone. "And I'm very tired and it's a long drive." you explain in a small voice, invading his personal space.

"You're right. Jobs over, innit?" he says readjusting how he sits to accommodate you.

"You know if my doing this truly bothers you I'll stop. Just tell me." you say almost short with him. You were genuinely fighting to keep your eyes open.

"Go to sleep." he whispers in a gruff tone you reply with a short laugh and you curl up in the seat.

Pt 21 Stand By My Girl

Tags! Let me know if you’d like to be added or dropped! Thanks!

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[the-lupine-sojourner]

Takara Yamada’s Hero Academia, Season 1 Episode 3 [Eijiro Kirishima/OC] [Female!Aizawa/Hizashi]

Just a warning, this might be the longest chapter yet. Just because I tried to fill in gaps between the last episode and the entrance exam ten months later, as Takara wasn’t involved with Izuku’s training. 

Takara Bio link: Here

Prologue : Here

Episode 1 link: Here

Epsiode 2 link: Here Anyway, hope you all enjoy! 

Quick taglist: @dailyojiromashirao, as usual. I love you, sweetie! Also, I’d like to tag @elite-guard-hardygal bc they are the SWEETEST ever and I really loved talking to them! If anyone else wants in on the taglist, please just let me know! 

For now, let’s get to the story!

God Bless and Good Day!

~The Lupine Sojourner

The next few days, Kāsan and Otōsan didn’t let me out of their sight at all. That meant I did homework at Otōsan’s radio station until Kāsan picked me up, and I hardly saw Toshin-Oji at all. They were both mad I let myself get wrapped up in a villain attack without a license and even a plan beyond backing Izuku up. I was also featured on the news as a ‘brave young woman’ and ‘a real hero’, even being recognized on the street, which was always weird.

Regardless of how heroic my actions were, my parents said during one of their multiple lectures, it was reckless and could have gone badly. I’d accepted their words and explained that I’d just wanted to help my friend, but it didn’t help. By the time half a week had gone by, we’d all sat down and talked it out. I’d promised not to involve myself in any more heroics and they agreed to ease up a bit.

Now, I sat with Toshin-Oji and hummed as I wrote in definitions on a worksheet. “So...your parents were mad?” He asks. “About the sludge villain situation?” I nod glumly.

“Yeah, but at me, not you. They wouldn’t let me out of their sight!” I sigh and put the paper aside for the moment. “They didn’t like that I ran into such a dangerous situation head-first without thinking it through too much. They do appreciate my heroic attitude and willingness to help, though.” I muse.

“Well, they were worried you’d gotten hurt.” Toshinori points out. “As your adopted parents, they’re in charge of you. They must’ve been terrified when they heard what happened and were most likely keeping you in their sights because they wanted to keep you safe.” I blink. I hadn’t thought of it like that.

“Oh…”

“Takara, it’s very admirable to want to be a hero, but you have to understand that, right now, there are a lot of situations you aren’t prepared for. While helping those who need it is what a hero does, you also have to consider your limits.” Toshinori eleborates. “Most likely, that’s what worried your parents so much; they were afraid you’d gotten involved in a situation beyond your limits.” I squirm. He was talking like Kāsan and Otōsan had.

“Yes, sir.” I mumble. He ruffles my hair.

“That being said, the way you handled yourself and your Quirk was outstanding!” He cheers. “I saw you ready to attack, but you held back, knowing it was illegal. That was smart thinking, finding what else you could do, instead.” I giggle.

“Thanks, Toshin-Oji.” I reply. He then stands.

“Now, I’m making rice and sausage for dinner. You like Yum-Yum sauce?” I nod eagerly.

“Yeah!” He laughs and begins making the rice.

“Alright. I’m gonna give you the recipe. It’s up to you to make it, okay?” I nod.

“Yessir!” I cheer and set to work. Toshin-Oji turned on Dad’s radio show, and I caught Dad replying to a few callers wanting his opinion on the villain situation I’d been involved in. It was still a hot topic, even half a week later, mainly because the city hadn’t seen any incidents like it since. And the fact that it was my Dad’s radio show and his daughter been involved in a dangerous situation.

Of course, despite Mom advising against it (villains might try to hurt her to get to us, she said), Dad couldn’t resist telling people for long that he and his wife had adopted me and as such I was sometimes brought up on the show.

“Well, listeners, I’ll say this; my little girl showed amazing initiative, but could have easily gotten hurt, and the boy would have likely been injured, too. Luckily, she was able to defend herself and the boy as best she could and the situation didn’t get out of hand, but it scares me to think what might’ve happened if All Might hadn’t been there.” I blush. It was reassuring that, once Dad had calmed down, he was proud of what I’d done, despite being terrified of the unknowns. I knew Mom felt the same way, deep down.

“You best believe that little girl will be a great hero one day.” The caller muses. Dad chuckles.

“I couldn’t disagree there, my friend. She’ll be one of the best. Now, unfortunately, we’re out of time, but call again sometime, okay?” Dad replies and the man thanks Dad before hanging up. The next few callers are actually commenting on All Might’s punch changing the weather briefly. After all, there’s only so many times Dad can essentially repeat himself before he stops answering that type of question. I frown.

“Did you really change the weather?” I ask. Toshin-Oji chuckles.

“Yeah. My smash swirled the clouds closer and somehow that made it rain for a few seconds.” He explains. I grin.

“That’s so cool!” I cheer. He grins.

“Thank you.” A comfortable silence settled over us as I resumed making the sauce. Soon enough, we were seated and eating.

“...Mom said you were going to be teaching at UA.” I note, to resume conversation. Toshin-Oji nods as he finishes his bite.

“Yes. I can’t spend as much time as All Might anymore, and this is as good a way as any to ease out of the spotlight somewhat.” I nod.

“I’d say so.”

“Speaking of UA, are you going to take the entrance exam in February?” He asks. I nod.

“Yup! I’m graduating middle school this year, and Mom and Dad both work there now, so it’ll be easier for everyone.” Toshin-Oji smiles.

“There’s nothing wrong with that, but if you don’t want to, I’m sure they’d let you go to a different- -” I shook my head. Shinso didn’t say much, to anyone, but I liked to think we were growing closer as this last year of middle school progressed. And, as his friend, I had to be there to support him and make sure he didn’t have to put up with the ‘brainwashing villain’ thing anymore.

“No!” I interject. “I want to go to UA. There are a lot of kids from my class that are going to try out for the top school. My friend, Shinso, wants so badly to be a hero, but he’s always treated like a villain because he can brainwash people. I feel really bad because there’s not much I can do to change their minds. They always think he’s got me under his spell or something, so I want to be there to encourage him and help him prove to the world that he can be an awesome hero. And it’s where Mom, Dad, and you went, so it’s gotta be the best, right?” He chuckles.

“You sound like that young man.” He says. “Young Midoriya’s always rambling about wanting to be a hero and wanting to make it to the top.” I raise a brow.

“You’ve talked to him?” I ask. Toshin-Oji nods.

“I’ve come up with a plan to help him get in shape for my Quirk before the entrance exam, actually.” My eyes go wide.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I admire the kid’s spirit and ideals. He’ll make a great successor.” I smile. I’d given it some thought and I’ve decided I don’t care about the spotlight. If I got it, great. If not, too bad. As such, I wouldn’t be a good successor for him.

Whatever gave Toshin-Oji that amazing power, I didn’t want to ruin it. It deserved the spotlight, so let Izuku have it.

“So, how are you getting him ready?” I ask.

“He’s cleaning Dagoba Municipal Park.” I nearly choke on the bite of food in my mouth.

“Wait, what?!” I’d passed it numerous times and it was just a gross pile of trash now.

“Yeah. He’s a hard-worker. He can do it. I planned out a routine for him and everything. He’ll be done by the exam.” I suddenly realize that I need to start practicing myself. Maybe get better with earth before February. Yeah. That’s it! I’d practice in my spare time and try to get a lot better so I can fight even without water. Of course, I should look up hand-to-hand routines, too. Never know what’ll be on the exam. “Hey, Takara!” Toshin-Oi cries, drawing me back to reality.

“Yes?”

“You gonna finish your food?” I nod, resuming my meal.

“Yeah.” I’d go to Dagoba and maybe help Izuku a little. Not much, but whatever I can do, I’ll do. Maybe I’ll try to freshen up the sand or something, make it look like it used to. I had to get used to bigger formations, anyway, if I stood a chance at UA. Determined, I finished my food, helped clean up, and wrote in the last few definitions before the time Dad was picking me up. Then, I got in an hour or so of TV time with Toshin-Oji before Dad rang the doorbell continuously. I sprang up and all but wrenched the door open to make it stop.

“Hey there, Tik-Tak!” I roll my eyes at the nickname, but leap into his arms.

“Hi, dad!” I squeal, letting him kiss my cheeks repeatedly before returning a single one to his cheek. “How was work?” He chuckles, putting me down and ruffling my hair as we walk into the apartment.

“What? You didn’t turn on the radio?” He asks with mock hurt

“Of course I did! We didn’t catch all of your show, though.” I reply.

“That’s alright.” Dad replies. I hug him again.

“I did hear the part about the sludge villain.” I murmur. “Thanks, dad.” He hugs me back, scooping me up and plopping me in his lap when he sits down.

“I meant every word, Tik-Tak.” He then looks at Toshin-Oji. “Sorry about not letting you see her.” He apologizes meekly. “We felt it best not to let her out of our sight til we cooled down a bit.” Toshin-Oji smiles, hands up.

“I respect that. It was probably best, really. I sometimes can’t help getting involved in things I probably shouldn’t.”

“Yeah. I do the same thing sometimes.” Dad replies, bouncing me slightly. “It’s just that Shota and I panicked a little when we saw our kid on the news, in the middle of a fire and a villain situation. Can’t tell yah how relieved we were when you showed up.” Toshin-Oji smiles, putting a hand on the back of his neck.

“I should’ve leapt into action the moment I arrived, but I hesitated. The kids didn’t.” I sigh.

“All I did was put out some of the fire and try to protect Izuku.” I point out. “I probably could’ve done more. I might’ve even been able to get the hostage out, if I’d used my Quirk on the villain.” Dad wraps me in a hug.

“And that would’ve gotten you, and most likely us, in serious trouble, young lady.” I knew that, but it didn’t make it any better. “That’s why I’m so proud that you restrained yourself to the legal limits on what you could do, Takara.” He says genuinely. “But you have to understand; as your parents, when we saw you in danger, your mother and I were so afraid we’d be too late and something would happen to you.” I nod meekly, not up to a verbal response. He then goes to stand and I get off his lap quickly. “But enough about that; it’s your mom’s debut anniversary and I cut the show a little short so I’d be able to surprise her with dinner and a nice cat-themed chocolate cake for afterwards. She’ll be back in two hours. You up for it, Tik-Tak?” I grin, nodding with determination.

“Let’s do it!” We wave goodbye to Toshin-Oji and Dad drives home as fast, but still safe, as possible.

=#=#=#=#=

The door opening is our cue. We know better than to jump out at her, so we sit on the couch (using the sound of the TV as cover) and pretend we’ve been there as she approaches. “Hi, Kāsan!” I cheer.

“Hi, Musume.” She replies happily as I get up to hug her. “You father behave himself?” She teases, knowing we can be a little crazy around the house sometimes without supervision. I nod.

“Yeah. I kept him in line.” She smiles as Dad walks over, playing it as cool as ever. All that’s left is to suggest dinner and head into the kitchen. We hadn’t done much decorating, just a hand-made ‘Happy Debut Anniversary’ banner, but still we turned off the lights.

“Oi!” He protests with mock offense. “I resemble that remark, thank you very much, young lady!” He drops the facade and grins at Mom, kissing her soundly in greeting. “Have a good patrol, Tsuma?” He asks, hugging her. It was a pet name he’s been calling her for years now.

“I did, Otto.” She replies, smiling. Dad nods, slowly ending the hug.

“Well, hope you’re hungry, cus Tik-Tak and I are about to eat the house.” He cries, clutching his stomach over-dramatically. Mom tsks at him as she walks toward the kitchen. Dad winks at me and we follow.

“You’re so over dramatic, love.” She scolds fondly, shaking her head. He grins.

“I know, but you love me.” He wraps his arm around her shoulders and pecks her temple.

“I do- -wait..” She takes in the banner for a split second before Dad spins her around.

“Happy debut anniversary!” Dad exclaims, plopping her down. She genuinely laughs, a rare treat.

“You’re amazing, Otto!” She says, kissing him again. “You remembered the day of my debut.”

“Of course! It’s also the day I knew I was in love with you for real. You took that gang out single-handedly before I got there!” I hug Mom as she tries (fails) to hold back her emotions, snuggling into Dad’s chest.

“It’s also the day you proposed after just a month of dating.” She adds, chuckling. I’d heard the story before and grin every time. They were too cute!

“Well, when you know, you know!” Dad protests happily. “I knew I wanted to marry you and, for some reason, you said yes!”

“I said ‘fine, Hizashi’ because your screaming had nearly deafened me and I wanted you to stop talking. I then played along with the wedding cus it seemed easier than refusing at the time.” It was Mom’s ultimate tease, but Dad knew she was teasing, so it was a bit of a draw. Still, she liked to poke him with that every once in a while.

“Well, it was spur of the moment, but then you said ‘fine’ and I was in too deep to pull out, so I rolled with it.” He replies petulantly. It was his usual response. They then laugh and ladle out soba. I grabbed a bowl and two rice balls and we ate in comfortable silence while watching some movie on the TV, Dad nuzzling against Mom and Mom reciprocating.

All in all, a perfect evening.

=#=#=#=#=

“You’re up early, Musume. Where are you going?” Mom asks two days later, sipping her before-work coffee. I grin.

“Running!” I reply.

“Really?”

“Yeah! I wanna start getting in shape for the entrance exam.” I explain. She smiles.

“Alright then. Don’t go more than thirty minutes, alright? You need to get your body used to exercise.” I nod, tying my shoes.

“Yes, ma’am!”

Turns out, running is no joke! When I get back, Mom and Dad were gone and I am shaking and almost regretting starting this. Maybe thirty minutes was a little much for just starting out. But that’s the price I’m willing to pay to be ready to knock everyone’s socks off at the entrance exam! 

I go through some stretches and drink chocolate milk as suggested and let my breath catch up with me before I go to the garden. I then do some more stretching while making different formations like rods, blocks, and walls. Keeping them maintained while stretching, I hope, will end up making me better at multitasking in a fight. I had no idea what was waiting on the exam, but I knew I wanted to be ready.

Unfortunately, I felt a draw on my energy pretty quickly, but doggedly kept trying.

=#=#=#=#=

After ten months of exhausting training, as well as trying to get a handle on my earth Quirk, it was the morning of the exam. Of course, Mom and Dad were able to drive me. I walked with them, knees shaking as I stepped through the gate. “It’s so...big!” I breathe in awe.

“And you’ll be a student, after today, Tik-Tak.” Dad replies, clapping my back with a solid ‘thunk’ and ruffling my hair. I chuckle.

“That’s provided I pass the exam.” I point out. Dad waves absently.

“It’s a piece of cake, really. You just gotta beat some bots. That’s it!” I pale.

“Oh…”

“Kara, you’ll do fine.” Mom assures me. It was rare she used her nickname for me, so I can’t help smiling.

“Right!” I had to start thinking positively, or I’d never get through this! I happen to spot my school’s group and jog over, waving goodbye to my parents. One of the teachers and kind of an aunt of mine, Nemuri, or Midnight, was passing out test cards to everyone with numbers for assigned seats and the battle center we were going to. I happened to be in A. I look over and notice Shinso. I walk over as we head into the testing hall to take the written exam. “Hey.”

“Hey. Good luck, yeah?” I nod. 

“Yeah!” We find our seats and within minutes, we begin. It was harder than I thought, but I had a decent grasp of the material discussed and finished soon enough. Ectoplasm, another teacher here, was using his multiplying Quirk to proctor the test. I passed my answer sheet to him when I was finished and waited at my desk. Shinso was done minutes later and we smile at each other and I try to think of formations that could help in the physical exam coming up. When Ectoplasm dismisses us, we head as he directed to an auditorium and find our seats.

“What’s up UA candidates?” Dad calls as upbeat music plays in the background. I smile. He was going full-on DJ mode. I wonder where Mom is. “Thanks for tunin’ in to me, your school DJ!” The lights around the outside of the ring came on and Dad was revealed. “C’mon and lemme hear yah!” I was too embarrassed to start a response, and no one else did, so echoing silence filled the room. “Keeping it mellow, I see.” Dad chuckles. I feel bad for him, a little. “That’s fine. Let me get straight to the main show.” Maybe if he acted more like a teacher and less like a radio host, he’d get more of a response, but I suppose it’s also just Dad’s personality. He was too hyper for nervous students. “Let’s talk about how this practical exam is gonna go down, okay? Are you ready?!” He calls in a sing-song voice and I nearly reply, but catch myself. I’d single myself out if I did. People weren’t likely to join me and I can hear Izuku going geek-mode at Dad and smile. “Like your application says, today you rockin’ boys and girls will be conducting ten-minute mock battles against faux villains in super suburban settings! After I drop the mic here, you’ll head to your specified battle centers, sound good?” Still no response. “Okay?” He presses. Finally, I roll my eyes. If someone didn’t reply soon, he’d go nuts.

“Got it!” I call back. Dad beams up at me.

“Thanks, listener friend!” I was grateful he didn’t go further as he gets back to explaining. “Okay, okay, let’s check out yer targets!” On-screen, pixelated models appear for each type of robot, with labels ‘1P’, ‘2P’, or 3P’ on them. “There are three types of faux villains in every battle center. You’ll gain points depending on the level of difficulty, so choose wisely. Your goal in this trial is to use your Quirk to raise your score by shredding these villains like a mid-song guitar solo. Buuut, check it!” He continues, pointing a finger into the crowd to emphasize his point, shaking it back and forth. “Let’s make sure we’re keeping things heroic; attacking fellow candidates is a UA no-no, yah dig?” About five rows in front of me, a student stands up.

“Excuse me, sir, but I have a question.” He calls. A single bulb is turned on to illuminate a young man with black-blue hair (undercut barely visible from the angle I saw him from) and tan school uniform on.

“Hit me!” Dad replies eagerly.

“On the print-out, you’ve listed 4 types of villains, not 3.” I roll my eyes as the guy points out what he means on the sheet. Great. A stick-in-the-mud perfectionist. “All due respect, but if this is an error on official UA materials, it is shameful.” I bite my lip, irritated. I’m sure Dad would have explained that other type of robot soon enough, if this guy had been patient. However, Dad listens attentively, nonplussed at the insult to his workplace. “We are exemplary students, and we expect the best from Japan’s most notable school. A mistake like this won’t do.” He then turns and points behind him to Izuku. “Additionally, you with the unkempt hair; you’ve been muttering this entire time. Stop that.” He demands tersely. Izuku looks mortified and Shinso has to put his foot on mine to stop me rising. “If you can’t bother to take this seriously, then leave. You’re distracting the rest of us.” Izuku claps his hands to his mouth and offers an embarrassed, muffled ‘sorry’ as the student then turns back to Dad to hear his reply.

“Alright, alright, Examinee number 7111.” Dad replies, waving his hands up and down as if to calm the student down, then gives him a thumbs up. “Thanks for calling in with your request.” On-screen, the final robot appears with the label ‘0P’ above it. “The fourth villain type is worth 0 points, so that guy’s just an obstacle we’ll be throwing in your way. There’s one in every battle center, kind of a hurdle for you to avoid. It’s not that it can’t be beat, but there’s...kinda no point.” I don’t think Dad’s saying everything there is about that robot, but keep my mouth shut. “I recommend my listeners try to avoid it and stay focused on the ones topping the charts!” The student bows.

“Thank you very much. Please, continue.” He says, sitting down again to a few murmurs about this new development. Dad raises his arms and silence falls.

“That’s all I got for you today, so I’ll sign off with a little present; a sample of our school motto. As General Napoleon Bonaparte once laid down, ‘A true hero is one who overcomes life’s misfortunes’. Now that’s a tasty soundbyte. You ready to go beyond?” I can’t help the hype I feel at the prospect of testing myself in the battle center as Dad finishes with a ‘let’s hear a Plus Ultra!’. I can’t help shouting it out and, surprisingly, a few others join in. “Good luck out there!” With that, Dad steps off the stage. We stand and make our way out of the auditorium.

This was it. Just a short bus ride, and the physical exam would begin! My knees shake so bad, I might end up knocking them together.

How would I do? What would I do?!

[moonbittern]

im exhausted and have been dealing with sensory overload all day so it seems like a great time to make an unnecessarily long-winded post about gallifreyans + language

(before we start i want to clarify that i largely operate on my own sense of canon so this is going to be part actual canon, part ignoring canon, and part making shit up) (but largely the latter)

doctor who likes to do the “one language per species/planet” thing, which is a very common scifi pitfall but it’s wrong and im against it. if you’re going to pull out any sort of “one culture/language/etc per species/planet” thing and there’s more than 10 people in your species/on your planet - well, first of all, you’re wrong, but second of all there is going to be a story behind why things are so lacking in diversity, and it’s not going to be a good one.

now, honestly, gallifrey is a better fit for the above than most scifi planets, if only because rassilon is The Worst and gallifreyan society is pretty strictly controlled. it’s easy to imagine that there is, at the very least, one Proper Gallifreyan Language with some other Less Acceptable Gallifreyan Languages that the prescriptivists all turn their noses up at, and that the end result is very little in the way of linguistic diversity.

HOWEVER.

i would like to suggest the exact opposite - that gallifrey is extremely linguistically diverse. like, ridiculously. like, how in the world can you even sustain that language:people ratio.

(honestly, i only really thought of this bc it gives me the opportunity to come up with a lot of fun language headcanons and to make a lot of conlangs, but i think my explanation makes sense, and everything’s more enjoyable for me this way and do i need an excuse?)

i’ve seen people interpret the 1-2 comments the doctor makes about language as them not being fluent in very many and largely relying on the tardis translation circuits to get around, but given that we’ve heard them speaking languages that are just as alien to them as they are to us, i prefer to think that the doctor is legitimately fluent in a ton of languages and that they have some amount of control over what languages onlookers hear them speak via the translation circuits. nine made a comment about knowing billions of languages, which is almost certainly an exaggeration but still evens out to “a fuckton”, and im willing to take them at their word.

my point being is that even if you gave a human being centuries with which to do nothing but study languages, they wouldn’t be able to achieve fluency in that many (even if we’re assuming said human being was cognitively wired in a way that was compatible with those languages, which isn’t a guarantee but, you know, scifi) and obviously the doctor does a lot more with their time than learn languages. i tend to think the doctor is naturally good at languages, but being good with languages doesn’t bridge that sort of gap, and imo the logical conclusion is that gallifreyans are extremely quick to take up new languages and on top of that likely never lose their language-learning sweet spot (humans lose this...well, it’s complicated, but it’s around the age of 7, which is why it can be so hard to learn new languages as an adult).

so, then, how might that affect linguistic diversity? imo it’s likely to sort of trickle down into rapid linguistic evolution (well, maybe just relatively rapid, but still), and while there are theoretically ways they could force standardization, i ask: would they want to?

the destruction of minority/marginalized languages - intentionally or otherwise - is a distressingly common occurrence here on earth. but we’re a species that loses its ability to acquire native fluency in new languages after our first decade of being alive and struggle to acquire any sort of fluency in the less than a century we have to live after that. if we take everything i’ve said until now to be true, gallifreyans - with an average lifespan up to at least several centuries if not several thousands of years, depending on your feelings about who can regenerate etc - can easily acquire fluency (possibly even native fluency, if their brains don’t distinguish between the first language they learn and the ones that follow) throughout their entire lifespan. which, again, may make their languages evolve and differentiate quickly, as presumably it makes basic things like picking up new words and phrases easier as well. it also means that high linguistic diversity doesn’t create many communication barriers, bc you probably speak every language you need anyway, no matter how many that is.

(not as many as the doctor, bc the doctor’s a deviant who willingly associates with aliens; but still)

so we’ve got a situation where the chapters are almost certainly divided by language. socioeconomic classes are likely divided by language, at least to a point. individual houses may cluster into language groups, and likely have their own dialects. you probably have a distinct idiolect that you only use around close friends/housemates/family - bc said idiolect would have developed around them, so they’ve had the chance to learn it. there’s a lingua franca (or two, or three, or ten) used for inter-chapter and inter-class (and possibly inter-house) communication. you speak A Lot of languages and all of them are gallifreyan and they exert a lot of influence on each other, but you’re also very aware of what languages are appropriate to use with what people.

which brings me to my next point: gallifrey is kind of awful and very much a dystopia, and not trying to actively stamp out certain languages doesn’t mean certain languages aren’t looked down upon or that language isn’t used as a tool of oppression.

the first point is familiar to us and probably speaks for itself. aristocratic prydonians probably think the languages that are associated with cerulean shobogans are awful and ugly and inferior, and so on.

the second point i think deserves a bit more discussion. gallifreyans are big on education, but there are limits to who gets what sort of education, and even if you acquire languages easily, you can still be denied access to learning those languages.

i imagine the higher up you are on the socioeconomic ladder, the more languages you have the opportunity to learn. depending on who you are and what sort of job you’re planning on getting there may be some languages lower down on the ladder that you need to learn, but honestly a lot of people probably don’t bother; classism runs deep, and you always have the cross-class lingua francas. you do probably learn languages at your level that are spoken in other chapters, just in case, but obviously your chapter’s languages are the best (plus those handy lingua francas!) so again, why bother speaking the others much?

what you are not allowed to do is learn languages that fall above you on the social ladder. im sure some people get past that restriction, but for the most part it doesn’t happen, and there is oh so much that can be done with that. people can have snide conversations in your presence that you can’t prove have anything to do with you; certain educational materials/scientific journals/etc are written in languages you’re unfamiliar with, therefore effectively blocking you from learning about subjects considered above your station; you may not be able to read signage in certain areas; the possibilities are endless and if you’re thinking that any of that sounds suspiciously similar to real-life things that happen on earth, well, you’re not wrong.

(a lot of the above probably also applies to writing systems and there’s also probably unique things to say about that but honestly im not super knowledgeable about scripts and im tired so i will leave it at that)

(could also probably make a whole ‘nother post about how gallifreyan society handles aphasia (i.e. not well) but again, tired and not my area of expertise)

language, guys. language.

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

Yaaay!! Thank you Soraya's inbox, sorry i blamed you on eating the last ask😂😘. You did great. Nono, he wasnt a torero, he looked like a prince. (Which is not better bcs i dont like any of those  figures but... whatever). Ooh, talking about suits, did you see the ranking hsfashionarchive did of the suits he wore this tour? Bcn was winning, pink suit was second and Mdd was third!! (1)

[I hope this works 😜🙏🏻, bc this was TOO long, jajajaa.]

Ohhh. Your mom is the best. So supportive! Petition to give her that award. She is clearly the winner. (1D clinex? capitalism in its pure state 😂. Did they really made those? Glad i didnt find it on time bcs i would have definitely brought them as a joke to my sister or something). You are already playing Niall’s songs to her? Did she like them? Does she have anything similar to “pikachu get away” she had for SOTT?. (2)

JAJAJAJJA. Netflix always does that to me too. Dont know why. I started watching Black mirror backwards bcs of that. Did you understand anything of chapter 7 os ST? (Did you finish the show??). Yep. The 8th season is the last one, and i dont know hoe to feel about it. Dissapointed by the shows? As in with the ending?? Or how? (3)

You sound like a devoted cat lady, yes. Ooow, i have little cousins too, though they are reaching the age of “too cool to be seen with you, old girl” Of course they make me laugh. Honey is a menace and i appreciate it. JAJAJAJAJAJAJA. He ate the chorizo?? Honeeey!! 😂😂😂 that made me laugh at loud int the train and now my neighbour is looking at me weirdly. I see, you’ll never get bored with him. (4)

When i was younger and + close minded, i didnt like tattos. Considere also that the ones I had saw in real life were the tribal ones, so there’s tgat. But then i grew up and started liking them (you can partially blame larry for that). Nobody in my family (cousins and so) has one, and thats kind of a encouragement, I’d love to piss them, but my dad has threaten me to disinherit me (we dont heven have that, lol) and i dont have any tatto on mind, so i wont do it… maybe in the future, yes. (5)

I MISS LOUIS TOO! I hope he is fine. Resting and so. Im sure that creating the album that will destroy us all takes a lot of effort. (Seriously, where is heeeee?). Heeey!! I wont get bored. Or mad! I have such a great time talking to you. If i dont talk more its bcs of the character limit and bcs im always worried about pressuring or imposing. Dont be dumb. If i dont answer its bcs im busy with finals and so. Nothing more. Promise. (6)

THANK YOU FOR UNDERSTANDING. i know i know. It makes sense and its a smart move, but… i cant stand raeggeton/latino, its not for me. Sad. I havent lost hope though. Maybe ill change my mind later Yeah, i have the same problem with my friends, they only listen to trap and raeggeton and i die everytime. We mostly agree to put something neutral like pop or the radio. (Disney songs never get old😂). (7)

Ay. I just saw that i wrote “heven” instead of “even” and now i want to delete myself. I was walking while writing the asks and i didnt proofread it. I feel so dumb. Anyway, sorry for sending so many asks (today i made a record xd) and, as always, good night!!————————————————————————-Hi!!!! Yes! I saw the ranking. But it isn’t exactly a ranking. It’s more to like chose wants your favorite suit. I did it and guess what? My first choice in the Madrid one, jajajaa. Second the kilt. And third the jumpsuit. Very accurate.

Oh, you’re telling me! My family bought me a bunch of 1D merch (unofficial all): the clinex, a hair brush, a bracelet, 2 books!, one perfume (this I love it, it smells so good), a make up box… I can’t even remember everything. Ah! A birthday card too!! Where they talk when you open it. I always use to wish happy birthday to people (the audio) 🤣🤣🤣🤣. I had to tell them to please stop wasting money on those things. I don’t even know where I have it. And if a can ask, I’d rather they give me the money so I can go to their concerts,jajajaja.EDIT: I can’t believe I forgot the poster!! I have it beside my head right now,jajaja, and I only realized it was there when I looked at the boys to ask for inspiration,😅😅)

Oh, my mom loves Niall’s album too. But I don’t think she “knows” any of the lyrics,jajaja. Though, she knows the hmmmm in This Town. But that’s all. She and my sister, both separately were like: “oh! who’s him??” When they heard Fire Away. And I was like: “ehhhhh, it’s Niall’s album, so guess who’s it?? What, you like it? See, Harry’s not the only one who can sing…” jajajajja. It’s because of comments like this, that they think I don’t like Harry. And I get so offended when they hint at it! Like, of course I like Harry. But I like all of them too!! God!! I love Niall’s album so much (I’m hearing it right now, bc I couldn’t remember what song was the one they liked it so much, and now I can’t stop 😅). Harry’s and Niall’s albums have been lining in my car since they were released. I had Harry’s playing in a loop till I got Niall’s one and I interchanged them. Then Harry’s came back a month or so before his concert. And now it’s time for Niall’s again. (You can’t imagine how hard it’s being writing this with honey laying on my arm!! Jajaja, I can’t barely move my fingers😅).

AND WHAT DID YOU DO WHEN YOU REALIZED YOU WERE WATCHING BLACK MIRROS BACKWARDS??? I’ve watched canter 1 and 2 of ST afterwards, but I hadn’t gotten to watch the whole thing yet. I can’t stand to be looking at a screen for 50minutes without doing anything. And don’t get me wrong, lol, I can be on tumblr for hours, jajaja, but a have to move my hand, and I can go from a blog to another… y'know, jajajajaja. And when I watched chapter 7 of ST i was like, okay… now they have to investigate what happened… or a guessed they would be doing flashbacks… jajajajajaja. Then I realized my mistake and thought I was stupid, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣“I see you from a different point of view🎶🎶” ( sorry, that’s me singing,jajajaja, Seeing Blind. I LOVE that song)And shows have disappointed me in the sense that they turn out to have an awful ending (seriously, I know you do it for the audience, but end a show how it deserves it, don’t turn it into shit just for a handful of money); or bc they just end it bc they don’t have enough audience. It’s always a matter of audience,jajaja.if they have a lot, they want to explode it. And if they don’t have enough they finish it ASAP. 😒

Honey is a menace, yeh, I couldn’t love him more,jajajaja. He can’t see me petting Liam, he gets jealous and comes to me and headbutt my hand so I pet him too. And Liam is so patient with him. They’re totally like liam and Louis, jajja. Hey! did I tell you the story about when I got Liam? no!! Well, someone gave my dad 4 kitties (they were sooooo small). So, guess their names (it was post March 25, 2015…) yes!! They were named (by me) Louis, Niall, Harry and Liam, jajajajajja. But Harry died a couple of days later, because he was really really young. He couldn’t survive without his mom ☹️. And the other three, my dad took them to a place we have were he has a little garden (?) with vegetables and chickens and proper farm-y, jejeje. I wasn’t too (any) into cats back then, so… Then he brought home one of them, to have our home free of mice. AND IT WAS LIAM!! And I adopted him. I took care of him. We started loving each other. And he became useless with mice, jajaja. He’s totally domesticated now 😝. And that’s his story. The rest? Louis became a big alpha male at their new home. But s car ran him over last summer, and he died 😔. And Niall is a female, jajajajaa. And I hate her. Because she hasn’t been able to keep her kitties alive once!! (She’s pregame again, and we’re praying this time she knows who to be a mom🙏🏻) Ah!! And Honey had siblings the other day!! The guy who gave it to my dad is my brother’s friend and he show him a pic. There are two white cats!! I WANT THEM!!! But they don’t let me have anymore cats! Jajajajaja.

Hey, we might have in common the reason why we started liking tats, jajajjajaa. And, well, to piss off the family is as good a reason as any other,jajajaja. And why are dads like that?? When my sister and I got our lips pierced he went to pick up at the train station and as soon as he saw us he turned around and walked to the car without saying a word,jajajajja. I HAD TOLMY PARENTS WE WOULD BE DOING IT!! I asked my mom:hey mom, if a get a 10 in maths, can I get a piercing?? And she say okay. So I got a 10 (I might cheated or not on this, bc I already knew I had a 10, but wel…), and I got a piercing.my sister only got it, bc I was 16, she had to go with me as an adult, and giving she was already there, she got one too,jajajaja. (My granny almost kill us 😅)

Oh, louis has a BIG responsibility on his hands. He will be killing a lot of people when he puts out his album. He has to chose the proper songs to do it. It will be considered a massive destruction weapon, so he better be careful. But god, for real, when will Louis and Liam release their albums. At this pace, Harry and Niall will be releasing their second one before LiLo has finished their respective tours. And when they finish, Narry will have release their second one, and will be promoting them. So Lilo will start working in their seconds one. And… and… AND ONE DIRECTION WON’T COME BACK EVER BECAUSE THEY CAN FIX A DATE WHERE ALL OF THE BOYS HAVE NOTHING TO DO, AND WHAT WILL I DO??? 😭😭😭😭😭 (sorry, I panicked a bit there,oops).

Uggggg, I can’t stand raeggeton either. I can’t stand the music, argggg. Or the culture of it (the how it treats women, and glorifies sex). I can’t I can’t.and you can’t go out without hearing it. My friends and I went on road trip once. And it was my friend’s car. And she only listens to raeggeton. And after 10, 15, 40? minutes I had to ask her “will this song ever end???” And she told me it was already a different one. And I swear I almost jump out of the car,jajajajaja. We were crossing a bridge, and I wanted to jump out of the car!!!!! I couldn’t listen to that any more!!!!!  Ejkbvwirbfeuirnfrvoieefvnv The she caved and we switched to movie’s soundtracks,jajajaja.

Ha! Don’t worry about sending a lot of ask, I learn something, you’ll see,jajajajaa.Also, I forgot to ask early. Is your sister a 1d fan too, then? She goes to concerts and knows the song… how lucky! you have someone to talk about all the gossip!! (And they know what you’re talking about…) or is she a “casual” fan, and doesn’t get into fandom drama? She just likes the music and doesn’t care about their lives?are you both into drama?? God, I don’t discuss drama very much online, but if had someone face to face to talk about it… I would be the happiest person in the world,jajajajaa (what an exaggeration 🙊).

I think this is all. I LOVE ORPUR CONVERSATIONS!! Jajajaja( I hope I did it correctly and all this is under read more, jajaja)Byeeeeee!!!! 😚😚😚😚

[khunsetare]

ODIUM

CHAPTERS PRIOR : 1 , 2 , 3 , 4

 TAGS : @kenzieam , @jaihardy , @pathybo , @elaacreditava , @tigpooh67 , @beltz2016 , @lostinthebeans 

I KEEP SAYING THANK YOU BUT THANK YOU AGAIN FOR READING MY WORK. This does contain mature theme, and will eventually only increase with the more chapters I post. If you find mature themes, and triggers to be overwhelming, I would not recommend continuing to read this story. I love feedback, and would love to hear your thoughts. 

I DID HOWEVER ADD A NEW LEADER INTO THE MIX, AND IT’S ONLY BC I HAVE AN OBSESSION WITH TOM HARDY AS WELL. ‘MAX’ !!not the leader of the faction !! can be whatever you picture him to be, but in my head he’s tom hardy (: . let me live vicariously through my protagonists. Any who, eNjoy!!!!

Chapter 5.

         “Does one of you want to explain or should I just get started on punishment?” He replies dryly.

 “Punishment?” I frown. “For what! He started it,” I groan as Max puts up a hand to silence me.

 “I don’t care what kind of problems you guys have going on. It needs to be solved immediately. Work it out, and do what Jeanine tells you. That’s it. Trust me, you don’t want Jeanine to hear of any of this,” I roll my eyes, and cross my hands over my chest.

 “Get to training; I’ll figure out what punishment is in store later,” Eric hasn’t said a word, but I don’t think Max expected him to. I walk up a few flights of stairs following Eric, until I’m at the roof. There are initiates lined up with ear mufflers, and guns in their hand.

 Four hands me an unloaded gun, and two magazines. He stares at me wearily. Probably questioning if giving me a potentially loaded gun was a good idea. I tilt the gun, and push the magazine in clicking it and aiming straight at the plastic dummies. I take a deep breath, and aim for the main spots. I hit the target spot on in every location, every time. I keep hitting target until my gun clicks, but Four is quick to take it from me before I can reload the next magazine.

 My chest is still rising rapidly as I stare at him through hooded eyes.

 “You’re already top of your class, I don’t think it’s necessary for more physical training,” He pauses, staring over my shoulder at something. “Maybe its best you take a few laps, and call it a day,” He says, as he crosses his arms over his chest.

 “Fine,” I huff, and walk down a few flights till I’m outdoors. I exhale, and briefly wonder to myself if this was all worth it. I contemplate finding a way back home, but decide it’s too risky. Eventually I’d go back home; When, and for how long was debatable.

 .           .           .          

    The last few days of physical training weren’t tough as I wasn’t actively taking a part in any of it. I found that consciously telling myself to not try and strangle Eric in his sleep got harder day by day. However, saying that we weren’t actively avoiding each other at all costs was a lie. During the few days of limited training, I had gone over to Erudite, and grabbed as many book, and files on Divergents as possible. They were all cluttered in a corner near Eric’s bookshelf to the far back, and most of them were useless.

 Mindless reading seemed to get worse as every minute passed till I heard the click of the door. There’s faint laughter, and it’s a woman’s voice. I don’t pay much mind, and grab headphones on the counter top near me, and wirelessly play some songs on shuffle. As the music booms in my ear, I feel eyes on me, and I look up to find a woman’s. She had dark brown hair that reaches her mid shoulder, and she’s staring at me with wide eyes. What’s wrong with her? I pull a earbud out, and stare back.

 “Um, my names Kimberly. Kim for short,” She smiles, and I still stare at her wearily.

 “Okay, can I help you?” I ask her.

 “I, uh sorry. You probably don’t know who I am. I’m just waiting for Eric; It’s date night,” I nod, and put my headphones back in.

 Never pegged Eric to be the dating type. Especially with someone so nice, and gentle looking. I shrug the confused feeling off, and continue to read through another volume of divergent info. As I skim through it a name catches my eye.

 COULTER,N. | STATIONARY PATROL | DAUNTLESS FORCES RECRUIT

       ERUDITE BORN | FULL ACCESS TO ALL FACTIONS

________________________________________________________

 INDRA SCARLETT VIDAL ; CORO VIDAL : 2ND ERA GENERATION

 INDRA SCARLETT VIDAL

 LOCATION: UNKNOWN

 GENDER : FEMALE

 AGE : 28

 HEIGHT : 5’4

 HAIR COLOR: DARK BROWN

 EYE COLOR: BROWN

 STATUS : DECEASED

 FACTION BORN IN: ERUDITE

 FACTION CHOSEN : DAUNTLESS

 SPOUSE : CORO VIDAL

 OFFSPRING : NONE

     CORO VIDAL

 LOCATION: UNKNOWN

 GENDER : MALE

 AGE : 32

 HEIGHT : 5’10

 HAIR COLOR: BLACK

 EYE COLOR: GREEN

 STATUS : DECEASED

 FACTION BORN IN: DAUNTLESS

 FACTION CHOSEN : DAUNTLESS

 SPOUSE : INDRA SCARLETT VIDAL

 OFFSPRING : NONE

   SUN RISE 4TH WEEK OF THE 4TH ERA : Subjects have been detained, but are not complying with protocols or testing. Immune to shot, and resistant. Female subject may be pregnant with Male’s child.

 SUNSET 6TH WEEK OF 4TH ERA : Both Indra and Coro have fled Erudite testing hall. Subjects were seen on train towards Amity, but no signs of any whereabouts. Dauntless, and Erudite are to patrol fence until found.

 SUNRISE 7TH WEEK OF 4TH ERA : Subjects have still not been found, guarding the fence will begin immediately. Blood faction relatives are alerted, but have no information on whereabouts even after using truth serum created by Candor.

 SUNSET 20TH WEEK OF 4TH ERA : Documentation, and further research on VIDAL’s are terminated. Coulter, N. confirmed elimination, and both subjects upon resist. Vidal Family have been notified. Eldest daughter of Reva and Freyr James has gone missing; Eldest son Tove still stands, and is being prepped for initiation when eligible.

 .

.

.

.

.

.

.

KEY NOTES : COULTER,N.- UPON TESTING OF FREYR, AND REVA BOTH CHILDREN’S DNA SEEM TO COME UP INCONCLUSIVE. DNA MATCHED BUT NOT BIOLOGICAL PARENTS.

  My blood runs cold, and I stare at the piece of information. I add some event’s up in my head, and realize that around the time of my parents escape my mother was pregnant with me. I try to force myself to understand, and filter the information but I couldn’t. None of it made any sense. My parents weren’t dead, they were alive. They moved outside the wall, and away from the US Government. Our community lived off the grid from both sectors of civilization. I keep skimming over the words, trying to put some information together but I couldn’t remember the events. Possibly because I wasn’t old enough to be aware of my surroundings.

 I remember being in the fields of Amity often, with no trouble. I remember playing with Amity children but I also remember having friends from Erudite too. A small group, but nothing I could forget. I just couldn’t remember who they were. I stared at the open page blankly, trying to take in the information. Why would Jeanine want me to research my own family?

 “Lia,” A deep, demanding voice spoke to me, and I snapped out of my daydream.

 “Huh, oh. Hi,” I look up and see Eric standing a few feet away staring at me oddly.

 “What were you reading?”

 “Document’s on event’s prior to the rebellion,”

 “Did you find anything?”

 “No, Eric. It takes time,”

 “How much time?”

 I stare up at him blankly. He seems annoyed, but I look past him and see the girl that was here prior behind him. Ah, I see. He doesn’t want me here. I nod my head, and grab a bunch of books to take with me. I place my jacket loosely over my shoulders, and push my feet into my sneakers that laid by the door. He watches me intently, but doesn’t say anything as I leave. I bit the sides of my lips as I figure out a place to stay, and study without anyone bothering me. My mind flashes to the roof when we did gun training.

 After walking up a few flights I push open the roof door with my shoulder, and find a corner to sit near. I plop down, and lay my books in a neat pile by the corner. I re-open the books, and skim through more pages hoping for something that could satisfy Jeanine enough to stop thinking Divergents were threats. I don’t know how long I keep reading but my eyes are heavy, and I feel myself drifting off to sleep.

.          .           .           .           .

 I wake to birds chirping, and I feel soft covers over me. I’m shut my eyes to continue sleeping until I realize that the last place I remember being was the roof, and this was not the roof. I sit up, and stare at my surroundings. It’s not Eric’s so it must be another leaders. Fuck. I search around, and spot my books neatly stacked on a nearby counter. I sigh in relief, but still keep my guard up. I push myself out of bed, and sit at the edge.

 “Sleep well?” A thick voice from behind me speaks. I turn my head to the side, and watch as he walks by me concentrating on something he was doing in the kitchen. He’s tall, and built. Alike Eric, but completely opposite in features. He has medium, thick black hair that faded on the sides, and a lightly grown beard. I’ve yet to meet him up until now. I stop analyzing him, and nod silently.

 “You’re Tove’s sister?” He asked, I looked at him curiously. How does he know I’m related to Tove. He laughs slightly as he stuffs a piece of bread in his mouth. “I saw your badge card in your jacket, you both have the same last name,”

 “I’ve yet to meet him. I don’t even think he knows I exist,” I laugh to myself.

 “He speaks of a sister. Is that not you?”

 I shake my head no. “I have an older sister, but I was born after we were separated,” His squints his eyes at me, but drops the subject.

 “I found you sleeping by the roof. So I brought you here, do you not like to sleep with the initiates in the living quarters?”

 “Oh, uh. I have to stay with Eric till initiation for safety. But, he had plans so I didn’t want to be an awkward third wheel. I must’ve dozed off and forgot where I was. I’m sorry about that,” He shakes his head as if it’s no big deal.

 “Ah so you’re the reason why there was blood all over the training room,” I don’t respond, but I continue to watch him. “Well, if a situation like that happens again and you have nowhere to go, you can always come here,” He says, and I’m filled with a light buzzy sensation.

 I nod. “I’ll keep that in mind,” I smile to myself, before straightening myself out.

 “Your shirt was covered in gravel, and dust so I put it with your jacket by the table near the door. You can keep the sweater if you want,” He smirks lightly, and I take notice that I’m wearing his baggy sweater. I fiddle with the sleeves, and smile to myself again. Just take the compliment, and stop blushing. I scold myself.

 “I should go, but thank you again,” I smile up at him as I put my shoes on.

“I’ll walk you down to the pit. There’s no training today ; Ranks go up soon. You’ll see where you stand, and if you move onto to the next stages of training,” I nod.

 “Okay, thank you,” He grabs his jacket, and I grab mine stuffing the old shirt into one of the pockets.

 Our walk down to the pit is silent, but not an awkward silence like it is with Eric. Within a few minutes we’re in the pit, and there’s a swarm of dauntless initiates. I continue to follow him all the way to the front where I see Em, and Zephryine together. They glance at me, and then at the man next to me and wriggle their brows. I roll my eyes at the suggestion, but continue to stick with him till I’m at the front. “I never got your name,” He laughs next to me.

 “Lia,” I outstretch an arm, and smile at him.

 “Max, I’m one of the leaders,” He states, and I take that there are a few other leaders who aren’t participating in the initiation process. As I step forward to see the board, I spot Eric, and almost immediately he spots me. He looks pissed, but then again when is he not pissed. His eyes stare at me, and then flicker over to Max beside me. He glances over both of us a few times, and I can see he’s deep in thought. He clenches his jaw, and turns back towards the board.

 “You see,” I hear Four boom. “This board will be ranked with all of your names by tomorrow morning. To your right, you’ll find clothes for the war games tonight. See that you make it to the train in time. That is all,” He ends his short speech by turning on the board. Empty name slots appear all numbered, and I hear chatter about it behind me. Max pats my lower back, and instinctively wrap my arms lightly around his neck.

 “Thank you, again,” I smile, and he returns the embrace tightly before heading back out of the pit. I follow my fellow initiates towards the pile of clothes, and feel him walk up next to me.

 “Didn’t think when I went looking for you that you would be fucking another leader, but I guess I don’t really know you that well,” I shoot an angered look at Eric.

 “That’s the nicest thing you’ve said to me so far. I guess fucking leaders is my calling,” He clenches his jaw hard, and he turns himself to me as I stop.

 “They only want you for your body, and your looks. Nothing more,” I scoff at the statement.

 “Thanks for the clarification,” I sneer, and walk away from him. I walk over towards where Em, and Zephryine stand. They’re both rummaging through the clothes gathering up sizes.

 “Here, I grabbed you some things in your size,” I smile.

 “Why thank you,”

 “These look terrible, how will I look nice in this,” Zephryine heaves, holding up her pairs of clothes. “I can’t win in this faction,” I laugh at her comment.

 “I don’t think we’ll be dressing like this forever,” I reply.

 “It feels like forever!” She exclaims.

 “So besides the fact that you keep befriending all the hot leaders, we have most of the day off, and need to get tattoos and gossip!” She jumps in excitement.

 “Yeah, you need to tell me where you find them. Maybe they’re all hiding from us until after we’re done,” Em squints her eyes, while nodding her head.

 I roll my eyes, and laugh. “I don’t think it’s like that. Let’s go get some new ink, and we’ll talk about who’s hot and who’s not, then,” They both shake their head, and lead me towards a red lit room. There are a bunch of glass flash tattoo’s all over the room, and a few people with big black patches on them. I stare at it oddly, and continue to watch as one of the female artists pulls up the material, and reveals a fresh piece.

 “That’s so odd,”

 “What’s odd?” Em asks,

 “They patch tattoo’s on. An odd concept,”

 “What do you mean?” Zephryine turns to listen to Em, and I’s conversation.

 “I have a bunch, but they were all made with a machine gun. Or hand poked, but I’ve never seen them patched on before,” I stare at a female artist in the back who keeps her eyes on me.

 “You have tattoo’s? Since when!” Em’s facial expression is surprised, but it soon fades.

 “To be fair, she does look like the type to get tattoo’s, and piercings,” Zephryine adds, and I feign shock. In return, she lightly slaps my arm. Her eyes move to something behind me, and her eyes move back to mine. “It’s like he likes to follow you,” She raises her brows in my direction, motioning to look behind. I turn my head to the side, and see Eric. His attention isn’t on me, but his arms are crossed, and he’s speaking to an artist. He motions to his neck tattoos, and I overhear that he wants his last round of touch ups. I turn back to the female artist in the back, and smile at her. Her face, and stance is stoic, but I’m not afraid to approach her.

 “I’d like to get a small henna style tattoo on my my middle finger,” She stares at me, and nods her head showing me a few styles, and I agree to pick one. I hear a scoff from the end of the room, and see Eric with patches on his neck.

 “Typical,” He says in a lower tone, but I can still make it out.

 “It’ll only take a few minutes because it’s a small tattoo. The bigger the piece the more time it takes,” She explains cleaning the patch, and placing it on my finger.

 “I’d like to get both of my nipples pierced too,” I add, and she looks up at me with raised brows.

 “I’m the piercer, so I can do it while we’re waiting for your patch to finish up,” She nods, and instructs me to take my sweater off. I look up as I pull Max’s sweater over my head, and place it on the side. Em, and Zephryine are staring at me like I have ten heads, but quickly put two, and two together. They both smirk, as they get sized for their own tattoo’s.

 “Are you comfortable with taking everything off here, or do you want to go into another room for this?” She questions me, and I shake my head no.

 “No, here works just fine,” I respond. My eyes slowly meet with Eric’s, and he looks a little tense. Whether it’s from the tattoo or the fact that I’m making him witness my first nipple piercing. I unlatch my bra, and lay it off to the side as I sit down onto the chair behind me.

 “Who did these?” Her eyes roamed some of the tattoo’s I had on my forearm, and some peeking out from my leggings.

 “Um, it was traditionally done. I don’t think you’d know him,” She continues staring at them, but then stares back up at me.

 “There’s only one person I know that does tattoo’s like that,” I look down at her, and assume it’s fine to tell her who put their artwork on me.

 “Tom Cilard,” We both spit out in unison. She stares at me with wide eyes, and realization of where I may have come from hits her. She nods, and continues to sterilize her needle, and clamp.

 “Okay, the clamp will be the least of your pain. The needle pain will only last for a few seconds, but discomfort may last for a few days up to a week. Count to three,” I nod.

 “One, Two,” I pause taking a deep inhale deciding that if I wanted Eric to suffer I might as well stare at him straight in the eyes. “Thr-“ I wince slightly as she had already inserted the needle before three. I pry my eyes away from Eric’s, and look down as she slides the needle out, and the piercing in. “Last one,” She smiles up at me, looks back briefly, and spots Eric. A smirk begins to appear on her face as she tightens the clamp around my nipple.

 “You’re the only one ballsy enough to taunt him like that. I like you,” She laughs, and stares intently at my nipple making sure to get an even level when piercing me. “Same as last time,”

 “One, Two,” Before I can finish two she’s already pushed the last needle through. I sigh a small breath of relief, as I feel her move the piercing in. I bite the side of my lip as she rummages for paperwork.

 “You already have piercings so I’m sure you know the protocol, but in case you forgot here is all the do’s and don’ts. Here is something to clean it with,” She plops a brown spritzer bottle in front of me. “Try not to have any harsh impacts on the breasts, and in the next few days you should be able to go back to a normal routine. However, keep a good eye on it for the next few months. If anything pops up, just stop by here,” She begins to pull off the patch on my finger, and I completely forget that I had gotten a patch art done too. I smile at the small design, and thank her.

 “Elisa, and it was a pleasure,” She smiles, shaking my hand as I get ready to leave.

 I pull the sweater over my head, and stuff my bra into one of the sleeves in my jacket. Em, and Zephryine are done, and gathering their stuff as the artist that’s working on Eric begins to remove his patch on his neck. The color is darker, and more prominent than it normally is. As we all get ready to go, I lean down a bit as I pass Eric.

 “Hope it wasn’t too typical of me,” I shrug, and smirk to myself. He grabs ahold of my bicep, and pulls me closer to him.

 “Be careful who you play with. You won’t like when I play back,” Heat rushes through my body, and I manage to snatch my arm back before there is evidence of my arousal. Em shakes her head, but continues to walk with me.

 “You like to play with fire, girlie. Make sure you don’t get burned,” She warns, but I sense it’s from a sincere, and genuine place so I smile warmly at her.

 “I’ll try not to,” I chuckle, and Zephryine is chuckling in the background.

 I see Caleb running up to us, and we all stop. “War games, 30 mins. Meet near the train,” We all nod in unison, and head off to change.

 Let the War Games Begin.

[ao3-writer]

Black & White; The Invitation

     Yo, so I’ve decided I will start this series and before anything else, I am going to state that my updates are most likely going to be random, but I will try and post a new chapter at least once a week. This will keep you guys on your toes and (hopefully) not bored. This is entirely told from the 3rd POV, but if you guys/gals would rather it be 1st person, I can do that too.

     Also, I will continued to answer asks and such every now and then, if you want to stick to the consistent updates of this series, I suggest you turn on notifs for me just in case. 

    Don’t forget to vote. I’ll set a limit of 72 to 120 hours (three to five days) from when the fic was originally posted. I’ll throw in a reminder and a time stamp at the end of each update too.

     If I messed up in some way or if something I wrote is alarming and such, don’t hesitate in telling me. I really want this to be a good experience for everyone that reads :)

     How long will the series take? I’m not sure. School’s starting back up again so I hope to finish this before/around October. Maybe. We’ll see. 

    That’s all I have to say on the matter. So, without further ado- Enjoy!

[Side Note: This’ll probably be the most boring chapter bc a lot of intro and such so bear with me on this one, Great.]

 The second the letter slid through their doors, they all felt goosebumps raise. Who even sent letters anymore besides the IRS? Nobody. Except grandparents. But do they ever write to their grandkids anymore?

 Jack was the first one to open his. He tore into it, the curiosity being a normal attribute of his that never stopped him. The actual letter had a red trim along the edge, shiny and fancy. The words were written in big, loopy cursive that could only be predated to that of a fancier age in history.

 Mark stared at his own card, almost startled by how clean it looked. Elegant, some would say. But... for what purpose? He couldn’t tell. The other nine invitees couldn’t figure it out either.

 It was simple. A little invitation to a “fun gathering” of some sort in what appeared to be a small estate upon looking at it, but once up close, it resembled a mansion. The walls pale and brown, the front steps a soft gray that could’ve resembled plastic but it was clay. The road into the estate was neatly paved, as if it was polished clean day in and day out. 

  “I’m sorry.” Mark interrupted the silence of the car ride. “Where exactly are we?”

 The chauffeur look into the rear-view mirror and glanced at Mark and Amy where they sat quietly. 

  “Or... not,” Mark mumbled quietly as he looked back out the tinted windows to see they had entered a set of gates. Multiple cars all came around a large fountain that stood in front of the mansion, the chauffeurs all exited and opened the doors unanimously, like clockwork. 

 Mutters of “thank you’s” and “goodbye” were what was left before the cars drove off in file. The ten invitees all stood at the foot of the steps that led to the great, white doors that awaited them. One by one, they all clambered up in fancy gowns and attires as they reached the doors. A small doorbell called to Mark’s name, he pressed down on it once. Seconds passed before the doors opened majestically to reveal decor that came from a fairytale.

 A sparkling chandelier hung above their heads at a great height, the diamonds and shards of glass that twinkled had them mesmerized. The floor was marble, intricate designs of the most wealthy of symbols and twirls were outlined in different shades of marble. Standing in the center stood a man with slightly tanned skin, almost caramel, his hair swiped to the side magnificently and a smile that reflected his bright white teeth.

  “Welcome. I’m glad you could arrive. How was the ride?” He asked, voice high and cheerful. This set off alarms in Ethan’s head. 

  A chorus of compliments came from the guests and the man spread open his arm, pointing toward an entrance toward what must be a dining room.

  “Right this way, folks.”

 Everyone mumbled and spoke amongst themselves. Their conversations hushed and confused.

 Eventually they found their way into a large room with a long dining table, some small appetizers placed along the narrow path, some people made their way to the table almost immediately.

  “Please, seat yourselves and dig in to what food is there. The main meal will be served in just a moment,” the man said, smile bright and friendly.

  “Is it just me or is this place kinda creepy?” Ethan mumbled to Amy. She shrugged as she popped a shrimp into her mouth.

  “I don’t know, but the food is good,” she said chewing another shrimp that she’s manged to take down. The rest of the guests are all familiar faces that he’s seen and met before. 

 There was Dan and Phil over to the right of him, analyzing the lettuce wraps as if they’d jump and bite them. There was Rosanna, from Nerdy Nummies, talking to Mathew and Stephanie from Game Theory. Signe and Jack were staring at the decorations on the walls behind them. Then Ethan, Amy and Mark hovered next to the dinner table as Amy and Mark ate the food. 

 Ethan had came for Tyler, he had gotten sick and couldn’t make it but gave his invitation happily to Ethan. Which, he now regretted considering he got chills all over the second he got into that car.

  “Please, take a seat. No need to stand and meddle. Let’s get to know each other, how about that?” The Kind-Man asked. Everyone took his advice, finding a seat and sitting down. “I’ll start. I am your host, my name is Lucas and I am newly engaged. I help run a catering business with the love of my life in town.”

 Everyone stares at him and he nods his head over to his right.

  “Oh, uh, my name’s Dan. I know all of you, thank God, and presumably we all do YouTube here? So let’s get that out of the way first. Secondly, I am single and ready to cry.”

 They each go down the table, one by one. Phil was nest, and they followed order until they reached Signe, who sat on Lucas’ left. By the time they finish introducing themselves, as if it wasn’t an everyday normality, a maid and a butler walk in from a swinging door, presumably to the kitchen with trays of food.

 And all of the food that was soon placed on the table was mouth watering. 

  “A toast,” Lucas said, raising his glass before everyone reached simultaneously for trays of food, “to a night of fun surprises and reckless memories.”

 Everyone raised their glass and cheered weakly, before taking a drink and setting them down to start eating. The food was even better than it looked. In just a few minutes, Ro stole half the cornbread and Jack was stuffing himself with all the sausage links on his end of the table. Lucas’ plate seemed almost empty with few contents on it while the rest seemed to have loaded theirs up.

 In the middle of chatter and witty banter, Signe excused herself to go touch up on makeup. She left the table and quietly walked off, asking the maid in the process where the restroom was.

 Down the hall and to the right, she entered, locking the door behind her. She stared at herself in the mirror, seeing she had smudged some of her lipstick and her wing was starting to droop. She snatched a wipe from her clutch, wiping away the rest of her lipstick since they were eating after all. Tried to touch up her wing, scoffing as she did so when she wiped off too much. 

 She spent a good minute or two attempting to reapply it when she heard a knock.

  “Occupied!” She said, trying not too move too much as she came close to finishing. Another harsh knock and she sighed. “Just a minute! I’ll be out soon!”

 Once successfully saving her makeup dilemma, Signe closed her clutch and opened the door. 

  “Jaysus, someone’s impatie--” She began to mumble before being struck on the head. She groaned, hand on her temple where she was hit as she stumbled back into the bathroom. The figure followed her and closed the door behind them, locking it in the process.

 The chatter in the dining room continued, everyone carrying on their conversations happily as they ate, unaware of the sounds of Signe’s sudden despair. As the minutes ticked by and Jack grew lonely, he spoke over everyone else at the table.

  “Hey, can someone check up on Signe?” Jack asked, looking at everyone else. “She’s been gone for a while and I’m just worried she didn’t get lostin this big house.”

 Everyone exchanged glances, many of them silently begging not to leave the amazing food behind.

  “Sure,” Ethan replied after the conversations stopped.

  “No, I’ll go,” Dan said, “I need to use the loo anyway.” The two men stood up almost simultaneously, they stared down one another awkwardly before looking at Jack who suddenly felt the pressure.

 He didn’t understand why this felt like such a big decision. He’s sure Signe’s fine, but he’s just worried. What could he do?

V O T E :  Dan Howell or Ethan Nestor to find Signe

Voting Polls Close in 48 hours (2 days)

[So this is what the voting will end up being like. A scenario is given along with a question. You guys are given two to three options to vote for, do so in the comments/reblog. Don’t just like it. There’s the time limit before I close the polls.]

[todokori-kun]

WELCOME BACK!

 <3 I really missed you, and it’s so great to hear you had fun! (and omg yes so ready to see all those beautiful pics)

Yaaayyyy join me in MCU feels hell. And oooh, you have a ship for the fandom now! Like, Stoki’s still my favorite Steve pairing but Stony’s really cool too…you know I ship almost everything XD (also am I the only person who sorta hated almost everyone by the end of CW? Like, of course they’re still my favs and there are still some cinnamon rolls, but, come on. Why couldn’t you all just get along ;-;)

Speaking of Illumi, do you know that Hisoka/Illumi is an incredibly popular ship in the HxH fandom? Probably because both of them are so horrible that they have like 0 friends other than each other. Nobody else wants to hang out with these losers. (Chrollo tolerates Hisoka and the adults in Illumi’s family seem to spend enough time with him to give him orders, but that’s about it.) It’s a trash ship with two trashy people and tbh I love it XD

So continuing with the eye jokes, imagine. Hisoillu version of Helpless. Hisoillu version of Satisfied.

“Look into his eyes and the sky’s the limit”

“Intelligent eyes in a hunger-pang frame”

(I know you did thise one before but still) “But when I fantasize at night, it’s Illumi’s eyes”

just, I’m imagining animatics for this with the ‘camera’ zooming in on Illumi’s dead fish eyes every time the lyrics mention them. It’s hilarious and also mildly terrifying

(though I guess if we’re actually making a Hamilton AU Hisoka’s way more likely to do something like Say No To This…)

idk if I’d want to be a parent either really LOL. Kids are adorable but I don’t think I’ll ever be responsible enough to raise one…

If Ishida makes a plot twist or something about it being someone else pretending to be Hide I'm actually gonna get mad. Dude. Not only would that bring the Hide feels right back it’d just make absolutely no sense omg

(also you read the new chapter, right? So, let’s talk about Juuzou and that huge death flag)

I’ve heard of Soul Eater and considered reading it but it’s not really the kind of thing I’m into…artwork’s cute, though, and Death the Kid seems like an interesting guy so maybe someday XD

AGH I’M ACTUALLY SORTA JEALOUS BECAUSE WOW I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA HOW TO WATCH THAT LEGALLY HERE IN KOREA. (unless I ask my dad for help but he doesn’t like manga/anime at all, so…) But yes, I’m really happy Lizzy finally got her moment this time! Now anime-only fans can’t complain about her being a ‘shallow’ character so hopefully there’ll be less fighting over Lizzy in the Kuro fandom :D

FINALLY. Fellow Death Note fan <3333 Who’s your fav? Do you have any ships? Are you done with the anime??? :D (also do you know…you picked a really interesting time to join the DN fandom. The American live-action movie just came out and it sucks so freaking bad, like I haven’t even watched it yet and just from the reviews/clips, here’s what I got:

-They turned Misa into this Harley Quinn-type character. Only without any depth.

-Light/Misa is an actual canon ship, like, it’s not abusive or one-sided like it is in the anime/manga, it’s just…a thing. Light loves Misa. Misa loves Light. It’s like every cringey high school romance movie ever, only with more murder

-They freaking bent the Death Note rules just so Light could get away with all sorts of ridiculous stuff

-L cries, L rants, L is overly emotional

-Light tells L where he hid a page from his Death Note. Light doesn’t deny being Kira. Light shows Misa his Death Note when they like barely know each other and she’s still a complete stranger to him. Light acts like an idiot.

-Oh sure, he’s Kira, God of the New World, but he still cares about going to prom with his girlfriend and making stupid faces as they pose for pictures

-So much unnecessary gore. Heart attacks are Kira’s thing, Light isn’t that emotional about his kills, he doesn’t care as long as the 'villains’ are dead, so why???

-Apparently Rem does not exist. Sayu doesn't exist either. Light’s mom is dead (probably so he can angst over her)

-Light Turner. Light TURNER. Out of all the surnames they could have chosen…

-And now, for the most unforgivable sin:

How dare they not include the Potato Chip scene)

And then random things: JJ and Light have the same voice actor. Yurio and Mello (imo…have you met Mello yet?) could be long-lost twins.

Also:

I’ve fallen into Steven Universe hell and now I’m imagining so. Many. Gem AUs. Have you ever heard of SU?

(look:

1- don’t stress about the messages, and come on, I’d never get mad at you over something like this! You’re way too awesome.

2-  I don’t really know what to say 'cause I’m bad at comforting people, but ugh, it sucks to hear that school’s tiring you out! Queen Luna’s gonna get through this, though. I mean, you’re great at so many things and you’re freaking smart and…this is awkward but maybe you understand Evans Language by now? XD Guess I’m just trying to say that I’m sure you’ll do great, and if you ever need someone to talk to I’m (almost) always free *hugs*

3- Um. So, other than tumblr, I think the only way I can talk with you right now is if we email each other? The email address I used this time is my real one (or rather, my dad’s, since I don’t have one of my own yet…) so maybe we can talk about this more through email and find a better way to contact each other? If that’s ok with you can you send me a message there?)

P.S:

I’ve started college and have no idea what I’m doing

*slams head against keyboard* guess who managed to get sick. It’s only been a week since school started. Whatever, I’m still going to school, but I woke up breathing like a fish on land, bc asthma. Yay.

I’m definitely gonna upload the pics today!!

Okay, but one thing I’m wondering about, is How? Not in a malicious way or anything, I’m genuinely curious to why you ship Stoki (and where it began). Was it that redemption fic you told me about or did you ship it before? 

Tbh, I didn’t hate the characters in CW, I hated the situation. Because there’s so so much pointless conflict that could easily be solved if everyone sat down and talked like normal people. But nooo we have to go around attacking each other. ((ALSO CAP’S LETTER TO TONY, I AM DEAD))

I’ve already learned (and experienced) that shipping is a very weird and unusual thing, so I’ll be honest and say I’m not even surprised that ship exists. At least it has some basis XD

I’m actually tempted to go through the lyrics of the whole musical and find every single eye line there is, only to replace it w Illumi’s eyes.

Not only zooming in on the eyes, the word itself is louder than the rest XD man if only I could draw…

Tbh I’d say I’m responsible enough (HA, that’s more or less a lie), but I’m honestly way too irritated with the little ones to be able to have one of my own. My cousin recently celebrated her 3rd bday and I was stuck looking after her during the party, bc all the adults were talking among themselves and I swear to god, I haven’t moved that much since I had to run 2km for PE. Where do they get their energy. Not to mention the adults thought it would be a good idea to leave me w her, because I’d already drunk 3 glasses of wine (i was bored and not allowed to do anything other than stare at emptiness or look after a 3yo). Turns out my tolerance isn’t that bad after all.

Lol let’s be honest, Ishida would totally do that. He knows the fandom would riot and that’s the whole point.

All the death flags. Tbh I don’t know how I feel about it. It’s obvious that either Touka or Juuzou are probably gonna die and I wan’t neither (If I have to choose tho, I’d rather Juuzou survives.) Also Naki. HNNNNNNGH

I think you’d actually like the manga? It takes a pretty dark turn compared to the anime and deals with lots of mental issues (the whole theme of the later volumes is Madness). Also, lots of death XD Well, the artwork changes drastically, so which one are you talking about XD

The girl in the coat (left first pic, middle 2nd) is the same person for reference. Death the Kid was one of my first anime crushes. The guy has OCD and is a total badass. 

MUHAHAHAHA I think someone uploaded the Lizzy fight to youtube so you can probably find it there, but I am in love. The animation is beautiful, so that’s also a huge plus. All in all, it was handled really well.

Death Note

So last I’ve watched is ep 25, aka the one WHERE L DIES. And i am not okay. I am nowhere near okay. Nope. Not at all.

Oh i’ve heard all about the adaptation. Tbh I find the whitewashing hilarious. Setting the movie in America removes so much of the series’s logic, so why? L being the way he is is probably my favourite mistake. They took the best character and ruined him completely.  POTATO CHIP SCENE NOOOO But my question is: did everything go just according to the keikaku?

Have fun w SU! I’ve watched it for a while, but gave up at some point. I might pick it up again if I have the time ^^ Word of advice, watch out for the fandom, they’re among the most toxic ones I’ve ever encountered. One time, they almost drove an artist to suicide because she didn’t draw Rose ‘thick enough’. So yeah.

What did I do to deserve you as my friend TT^TT Thank you so so much, those words mean more than you can imagine.

Um. Looks like we’ll be staying here, because I never, ever check my mail, despite getting school assignments there, so yeah. If we used mail, you’d probably get a response every leap year.

How does the education system work in Korea? Like, at what age do you start going to which school?

Also, I’ve told you about Mystic Messenger? I think you’d like the newest update, because damn, it’s creeping me out. Also, it’s in Korean, so + ((My thoughts during the prologue of the new route: Nani the fuck))

[theteaisaddictive]

can I send a few? if not, feel free to just go with your favorite :) 1, 9, 14 and 20 for Adam and Belle (maybe 2017?) sorry for sending so many but you know I love your fic and I'm always desperate for more Adam/Belle fic :)) -danstevensgrowl (bc I got ask limit haha)

thanks! i’ve already done 20, but i’ll have a go at the rest (and to reiterate, i’ve only seen the remake once so if they’re a little ooc that’s why) (also these are going to be a lot shorter than the last post was but that’s ok, right?)

1. things you said at 1 am

Adam looked over at Belle, who was still gamely reading even though it was long past midnight. 

“Darling?”

“I’m almost finished with this chapter,” she said. 

“You said that an hour ago.”

“I’m on a different chapter now.”

“Belle! It’s past an hour after midnight!”

She shut the book, pouting in that way she only did when she was teasing him. “And here I thought you loved my eccentric reading habits.”

“You know what they’ll think, the two of us up so late, unchaperoned.”

Belle actually laughed out loud. “The wedding is in two days, sweetheart. Do they think that if we’re left alone for as much as five minutes, I’ll magically produce a child seven months after the wedding instead of nine - despite neither of us so much as touching the other, might I add?”

“They’re just worried,” Adam said. “They know I was … well, you know.” Belle did, in fact, know - the morning after the curse, both of them had had a long, frank discussion about each other’s pasts. 

She hummed thoughtfully. “Come over here,” she said, patting the space beside her. Once he shuffled over, she manhandled him so that his head rested on her lap as she read.

“I could sleep like this,” he said. 

“Good. If they’re going to talk, let’s give them something to talk about.”

9. things you said when i was crying

The Beast had transformed. They had kissed - one magical, earth-shattering kiss. And then, much to Belle’s embarrassment, she had burst into tears.

“Belle!” the young man said, rubbing her shoulders soothingly. “It’s alright, I’m here. I’m alright.”

“Are - are you sure?” Belle sobbed. “Because I’m pretty - pretty sure you got shot in the back three times - three times, my - my dear, dear -” 

She had dissolved into tears again, and the Beast - the prince, she supposed - pulled her close against his chest. She heard the strong beat of his heart, and it was inconceivable that less than a minute ago she had heard it stop, seemingly forever. 

But here he stood, kissing the top of her head and stroking her hair.

Eventually, she calmed down enough to stop sobbing, although a few stray tears still fell. “I’m sorry - I’m normally never like this.”

“I know,” he said, and it was less an assurance of her emotional state than a proclamation that he did know her.

14. things you said after you kissed me

Belle and Adam broke away from each other, and the congregation exploded with cheers. Maurice, a few steps away, had whipped out a handkerchief. Lefou and Stanley, along with the other villagers, were on their feet cheering. The castle servants were just as joyful, and on cue the maids opened the balcony doors to the wide sunlight, as Belle and Adam smiled and nodded their thanks to Pere Robert for marrying them.

The gold ring, adorned with a luminescent opal, was nowhere near as ornate as Belle had feared it would be. The matching thick band on Adam’s hand seemed to suit him immensely - and Belle was hit with the realisation that she would get to see that ring on his finger every day for the rest of their lives. They walked sedately to the balcony, having been prepared by Cogsworth the night before. 

“The Crown Prince, Louis-Alexandre Vincent Adam Christophe, and his bride, the Crown Princess, Marie-Isabelle Beaumont!” 

“It’s going to be loud out there, darling,” he said - their first words as husband and wife. “Are you ready?”

“For you, dear husband? Always.”

He smiled that blinding smile she had seen more and more as she got to know him, and they stepped out on the balcony together, to greet the people of France.

ship prompt meme

[kootenaygoon]

Nobody knows the Kootenays like Greg Nesteroff.

A celebrated historian and journalist, he first made a name for himself as a columnist and reporter for the Nelson Star, eventually moving up to the editor position. He then became news director of Juice FM, a gig he inherited from veteran broadcaster Glenn Hicks.

Last year Nesteroff decided to take some time off to work on two full-length book projects — one will be a collection of his popular Place Names columns, while the other will be a biography of Sandon founder John Morgan Harris. Meanwhile he started a blog: The Kütne Reader.

Kootenay Goon caught up with Greg to chat about the world of blogging, his obsession with the past and the future of journalism.

#1. For many of the posts on Kütne Reader, a historical document or photograph ends up being the jumping off point for a deep dive into the life of some historical character most have never heard of. (I loved your story about "The Midnight Nurse", by the way.) Your investigative skill-set is honestly staggering — I can't believe you successfully dredge up some of the information you do.

It seems to me like this would be a lengthy process, and I'm curious what your strategy is when building these stories. What are your go-to sources? Are you constantly haunting the archives, or looking this stuff up in books, or some combination of both?

Gee, thanks! My hat will no longer fit. 

I had a stockpile of unpublished stories I was able to drawn on initially. I've exhausted most of them, so now I'm putting up new posts at a slightly slower pace. Although I have no shortage of ideas, it takes longer to assemble each post. You're right about a single photograph, document, or artifact inspiring a post. It doesn't take much to get me interested and headed down a proverbial rabbit hole.

Go-to sources: ancestry.com plus the ever-expanding list of digitized newspapers, particularly the early Kootenay papers available through UBC's BC Historical Newspapers site and the ones on newspapers.com. The recent addition to the latter of The Vancouver Sun was particularly exciting. I visit archives and libraries less often than I used to because so much is available online now. But I spent 20 years taking notes from newspapers and local history books (the room where I write is groaning under the weight of those books), so there is lots I can search even on my own computer desktop.  

Even though an amazing number of books have been written about this region (with more added each year) there is no shortage of subjects left unexplored or under-explored. The digitization of newspapers and books is giving us the tools to explore topics and questions in previously impossible ways. It's fun to be part of the first wave of historians to take advantage of this technology. 

Some of my posts are wholly original; you won't find anything about those subjects in any history book. Others are a matter of presenting existing information in a new way. My post entitled "15 curious things about Peter (Lordly) Verigin's death" contained nothing that hadn't already been published, but it was presented in a novel way. Whereas "A phony dentist in the Slocan Valley" recounted the life of a career criminal which had never been presented in full. 

#2. You took 2018 off to focus on writing your books. Now that 2019's staring us in the face, how much progress have you made?

Alarmingly little. I blame the blog. 

I can throw something up in a hurry without worrying too much about being artful and get instant feedback. Whereas the books are long-term projects that require more care and thought and will not bear fruit for a long time. So the quicker, shorter stuff is much more attractive. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and makes me feel productive in spite of the lack of progress on the books.

I will say that I have reorganized my Johnny Harris biography in a way that should make it more compelling. But I haven't added very much. It still sits at about 43,000 words with a huge amount left to do.

The place name series is more a matter of compiling and condensing than writing, since the basis for it has been a series that has appeared in local newspapers for the last six years. But even then, all I've accomplished so far is a sample chapter for letters P and Q.

Fortunately, my literary agent and wife are both prodding me to get going on the books before my nest egg runs out.

#3. Your other big project has been this blog, and you've been churning out content on the regular. How does it feel to switch mediums, to switch from your home in the pages of the Nelson Star and unleash your work online? Obviously there's no word count limits, which is nice, but what else inspired you to make the jump?

It was probably just a procrastination tool. 

It seemed more fun than what I was actually supposed to be doing. I had no goal initially and didn't give a lot of thought to how it would look or what it would contain. I didn't even really envision anyone reading it. (Which is not unusual, since I've written lots of things for my own amusement and never bothered to share them. Some have since been posted on the blog.) 

Now I do pay more attention to what I'm doing and actively try to increase page views, although I view it purely as a game.

#4. In a number of your historical posts you write about about the First Nations residents of the West Kootenay, including the Sinixt and the Ktunaxa. (Cool postcard of those pictographs, by the way.) This is a subject I don't know much about, and surely I'm not the only one. In your research, what have you learned about their history and how do you feel it informs your understanding of First Nations issues today?

I don't pretend to be an expert on local First Nations. But I am very interested in overlooked stories and overlooked people. 

The First Nations of West Kootenay certainly fall in that category. For generations we experienced a sort of collective amnesia, with descendants of European settlers claiming there never were any First Nations people here, or that they were only transient. That attitude started to shift about 30 years ago, and today you will hear aboriginal acknowledgements at the start of city council meetings, but we still have a long way to go in recognizing local indigenous history. 

Other visible minorities have also been given short shrift in local history, including Chinese Canadians and Japanese Canadians. For many years their stories in this area were not well told, but that has changed in the past few decades, thanks to a few key writers and curators. There is still much untapped ground: for instance, no one has ever written in detail about South Asian pioneers of this region, but I would like to. There were many Indo Canadian sawmill workers in our area, and there is even a West Kootenay connection to the Komagata Maru.

#5. I know you have a special relationship with Sandon, the ghost town just outside New Denver. (For those of you who haven't been, it's worth it just to check out the fleet of historic Vancouver buses randomly parked there.) If memory serves, you've been researching the founder — who was apparently quite the character. What is it about Sandon that initially won your attention?

Sandon has held generations of history buffs in thrall, probably because of its setting and the heights it reached before its lengthy descent into a ghost town. I am no exception. I was taken by it during my first childhood trip. Even though it was hardly an attractive place at that time, it still made a deep impression on me. I recall thinking that I'd somehow like to contribute to the study of local history, but assumed everything there was to know had already been discovered. Well ...

I became particularly interested in John Morgan Harris, the subject of the biography I am writing, when looking into myths about Sandon. There was a story he killed someone before coming to the area. I didn't believe it, but it turned out to be true. I spent a few days in the Wallace, Idaho library reading newspapers about that incident and the rest of his exploits there. 

I've also been to his birthplace and grave in Virginia.

#6. You spend a lot of time living in the past, but you also produce stellar journalism about the present day. Is it hard to switch back and forth, and do you think the two pursuits influence and inform each other?

It's not hard to switch. 

But it is nice to bring a historical perspective to a current news story, to tell your reader how typical or atypical an event is, the last time it happened, or just supply some trivia that enlivens your copy. 

In writing history I use the genealogist's toolkit more than the reporter's. The same resources people use to compile family trees I use to pursue obscure historical figures. Most of the time my subjects are long dead, so I'm not able to interview them or anyone who knew them. But I use ancestry.com and the BC archives vital events index nearly every day in addition to the aforementioned digitized newspaper sites. 

Thank goodness for those pioneer papers. Despite their biases and blind spots (those visible minorities mentioned earlier were routinely condemned when they weren't ignored), without them we would have a much poorer understanding of what went on around here.