#long ass post as usual i'm sorry but i do refuse to put it under a readmore on principle

[cospinol]

time for the summer 2024 isekai log☆! the count of actual, by-the-books isekai this season was surprisingly low, on about even footing with the number of single-wold rpg sludge settings; it's purely an academic distinction, but is nature healing...? both populations' crops were pretty decent this season either way, though, so maybe there's something in the water

far and away the best of the bunch is of course isekai shikkaku. this show has essentially the perfect premise, because probably the most interesting aspect of the genre as a whole - and always, by design, completely unaddressed - is the way it so often functions as a suicide fantasy. miserable about your everyday life? bullied at school or beaten down by your shitty job? Don’t worry, the perfect solution is always waiting for you, just a half-step away - all you have to do is die! it’s quick, painless, and also obviously always accidental (whether truck or random heart failure) because you can’t just admit that the power and joy of your escapist fantasy make the death of the ‘real life’ proportionally appropriate, desirable, and necessary; most shows move past their premises as quickly as possible to escape the implication but that doesn’t make it any less present.

so isekai shikkaku’s dazai (who is coincidentally hit by a truck moments before going through with suicide, establishing a Narrative for all the other characters who are coincidentally hit by the same truck while at the lowest points in their lives) is the perfect lead for a show about drawing portraits of the circumstances that lead people to seek that kind of escape, hearing them out, and sending them home. it’s an incredible anti-fantasy, and I could easily see myself outright hating it in a slightly lesser work, but this show is sympathetic and clever enough in its character depictions that the payoffs of characters being returned to their everyday regular lives for a second chance always feels satisfying & well earned.

it’s still not the perfect show by any means; it takes several episodes before it actually gets to the point, and not all of its standalone stories work (tama’s focus arc is unfortunately weak, for example), and although most of its comedy/antics work, it has an equal amount of gags about vestigial genre trappings that aren’t any funnier than they would be played straight (don’t show me those goddamn dialogue boxes). Still, this series has way more meat on its bones than any of its peers and is among the best of the season, even outside of the genre!

of course the other show I kind of liked is its polar opposite iseyuru, new reigning sovereign of No Thoughts Head Empty. once you’ve read the sentence ‘average op isekai protagonist adopts two equally op kids and takes them on low-stakes adventures’ (which is also the series’s title, incidentally) you can easily picture every single thing that happens in this show’s entire run.

the only thing that’s unusual to any degree about this show, given how overwhelmingly by-the-book it is in every other respect, is the absence of 50% of the usual hax-and-harem staples granted to mc-kun. totally excising any ecchi inclinations is not only reasonable but imo necessary to the success of a show with this specific premise, of course, but the absence of any romance on any level was a little surprising to me and, in the void left behind, left me feeling like this might actually be a sleeper Gay Isekai. beyond just being love-interest-less, it’s almost entirely homosocial; all but one of the adult characters takumi spends any amount of time with are men, as are the majority of the supporting roles, not to mention the divine co-parent who saddled him with the kids in the first place. Like…

this is where the main heroine goes in the op, right? also, there is a subplot with an explicitly gay character who wants to kill takumi for supposedly trying to take his man, and the whole thing is just brushed off as kind of a no-harm-no-foul situation. much to consider

i initially assumed that konofuka would end up in a much higher position on this list since it was one of my most anticipated shows of the season and the energy its first few episodes generate is honestly a rare treat. the atmosphere is incredibly rich for a simple trapped-in-vr-mmo story (with an intentionally simple storybook aesthetic), and the tension is electric; the power dynamics/interplay between player groups operating under limited information & the carefully-placed moments of horror/violence in its semi-cutesy setting all work together to raise its stakes in a way that feels natural and immediately immersive.

unfortunately, at the show's approximate halfway point, that just...... stops. it's not shocking for first-arc villains to be dispatched at the end of the first arc, but once our main party foils the enemy debugger team, there's simply nothing left. it has places left that it wants to go, but is content to meander there with no sense of urgency at all. i'd be less bothered by this if the first group of opponents our main party was facing felt like less of an urgent threat, but what sold me on this show was the real sense of danger that suffuses the first arc, and the pivot to kind of half-hearted stumbling-into-danger-that's-not-danger that ensues just isn't compelling in the least in comparison.

it doesn't help that none of the characters have any skin in the game after amano's gotten his (kind of...) revenge; it's a real killer combo of lack of character development, plot progression, or really any sense of purpose at all. there's a little bit of growth for nikola (and haga, by association)... and then a glimmer of akira's nascent maybe-my-team-is-evil arc, though curiously that one doesn't seem to be pointing in the direction of her PKing tendencies (i guess her murdering that man in cold blood was just fine) and instead is just about her getting teleported into a dungeon by alba in a random accident, and i have major issues with the premise of that entire arc and its main villain's villainous activities being a partial retaliation (and also an incidental straight up accident) against tesla, who initiated aggression and is actively trying to harm him. her (& haga's) rigid dedication to enforcing the game's rules to the detriment of others is an interesting setup, but with so little else going on in the back half of the show it can veer into slightly repulsive (i don't really know how else to describe the yamanaka situation and its conclusion), which would be great but i also don't think it's intended at all. so... meh (regretfully)

annnnnddddd at the bottom of the barrel, in every sense of the word, is failure frame, of course, lol. i can't even muster any real contempt for this show the way i can for a shield hero or even an arifureta; it's mostly just a little pathetic. you can tell that it's really aiming for the grimiest depths of those shows at every turn, but while it is almost always at least a little unpleasant, it's also incompetent enough that it's almost endearing; there's just something about how badly it wants the viewer to believe that mc-kun spamming the same three status effect spells and defeating the strongest man in the world before the show is even half over that makes me want to... just pat it on the head and send it on its way, i guess. there are so many little things that add up, like the ugly cg models of the two leads that the designers were so proud of that the entire op and ed sequences are dedicated to showing them off, or the fact that the protagonist has to tell us and his party multiple times not just that they are his found family, but which of his family members back home they individually remind him of. anyways, i'm not actually going easy on it, this show's shockingly badly made and never actually fun to watch, but it's at least not quite as repellent as its peers in the subgenre. also to be honest it gets 1 extra point because misaki watada voices a lead <3

andddd a brief lightning-round for the ‘all the required tropes except the isekai part’ light novel sludge:

mobkara is bad and looks bad but, in the season’s most shocking heel-turn, paid off the previously near-despicable secret-keeping drama between the two leads with a very charming moment of real character growth and mutual understanding. also, the real point of interest is whatever happened in this series’s production that resulted in the character voiced by kanahana regularly singing songs provided by nana mizuki, it’s so funny and jarring every single time

nazeboku looks bad and is bad, and somebody involved in its production should at some point have taken action re: the fact that its character designs/art style are complicated beyond its means to animate, & as such the sheer effort of trying (and failing) to keep them even close to on-model prevents the characters from ever emoting correctly. just nothing but stone-faced staring in all the most emotional scenes lol

and that's the state of the season, more or less! well, i guess i forgot i parry everything which is also genre slop but very pleasant about it. also i feel like i'm slowly dropping my pretence of caring about anything except seiyuu content here so it should be clear i wasn't paying attention to anything in that show except for toshihiko seki playing a smug blonde character. that's what watching anime is about, thanks for playing

[saucyjothoughts]

What would reader do with a bratty Nace??👀 Praise him and pet his hair until he’s behaving himself again😇 or punish him to make him learn his lesson😈

Dearest Anonyboo, I'm so sorry this one has been sat in my ask box for so long! I've been waiting for inspiration and oh boy did Nace being an annoying little shit in the recent Jance interview deliver.

(nsfw under the cut)

You have to be up early and don't have time for your usual morning cuddles. It isn't a problem at first but your self control has always been better than his and the cracks begin to show in his resolve soon enough.

He's desperate for your attention, getting up in your personal space, trying to get a rise out of you, but this little game is the most fun when you refuse to give him what he needs. Despite the sparkling in your chest when he's being so clingy and ridiculous, you remain stoic, never flinching, arms crossed. He's got that glimmer in his eyes he only gets when he's thinking with his dick, but you're out in public and he knows you can't indulge him, you can't put him in his place here. He's running his mouth, being loud, touching your hair and your neck without permission while all you can do is tighten your lips and keep your cool. He knows exactly what your stern countenance and narrowed eyes mean; you just wait until we're alone. You'll pay for this.

When you finally get home, he's playing innocent.

"What have I ever done?" he teases you. "I've been on my best behaviour all day, wouldn't you say so?"

Everyone thinks he's so innocent, so angelic and wholesome. Only you know the truth, only you know how naughty he is, how far he's overstepped the mark today. Only you can see his half-hard cock pressing against his clothes. And now, finally alone, you can put him in his place.

He tries to kiss you and finally you can give him the slap his cheek deserves.

"I would not say so," you scold him. "I would say you've been misbehaving all day."

He could overpower you if he really wanted to but he doesn't, not even when you're rough with him, shoving him onto the bed and gripping your nails into his wrists to remind him to keep his hands to himself.

"I'd go so far as to say you've been very bad."

He earns another slap when he tries to grab your ass with his free hand while you're securing the other one to the bedpost.

Yes, you are. But he doesn't yet know quite how mean you can be.

"No!" He's feigning pain, claiming injustice, wriggling underneath you while you pin him down with your body, straddling him so that his clothed cock pushed painfully up against your groin. "You're being mean!"

His other hand secured to the bed post, he kicks out at you as you undress him, peeling his trousers down first so that you can see the outline of that fat cock you love pressing against his boxers. Then his shirt, slowly unbuttoning to show off his chest instead of tearing it off him like you know he wishes you would. He's flexing for you but you ignore it. You won't be teased, won't be manipulated.

"I've done nothing wrong," he claims as you slip your fingers beneath the band of his underwear and wrestle them down over his fighting hips.

"Shut up or I'll shut you up," you tell him, his cock slapping back against his belly. It looks delicious but you won't give him the satisfaction.

"You wouldn't dare."

He's wrong. You rise to his challenge, wringing his dirty boxers into a twist and stuffing as much of them into his mouth as you can fit. He's gagging on the sensation, his eyes watering, groaning muffled pleas into the fabric, thick with his musk and already wet with his drool.

You climb off the bed and take a step back to admire your work. He's looking at you with big pleading eyes, ready for his punishment, ready for you to use him. Even like this, his eyes are looking over your body disrespectfully. His cock twitches, jumping for your attention.

"Who’s gonna sit on that thing now, after you've been such a nuisance? No manners at all."

His expression drops, his body stilling. You're not playing into his game.

"Now I can finally get some peace. You’re going to think about how you've behaved today until I come back and decide whether you’re good enough for me to ride.”

He's whining pathetically into his underwear, rock hard and leaking, when you leave the room and shut the door behind you.

[tarraxahum]

Hi op. Your post has been haunting me for a few days now, and I think I will explode if I don't interact with it. That being said, don't worry, I'm agreeing with you here.

And a panel that I would like to slap on here is this one from one of the Daydream Hour additional comics:

Falin has absolutely zero problems with firmly saying 'no' to Marcille. She only goes along with stuff she wants to or at the very least doesn't mind. That's very much a counter-definition of a pushover or a people-pleaser.

I'm putting the rest under the cut, 'cause as per usual, I got long.

That's not to mention that, as you've pointed out in that one reblog thread, if she was a desperate people-pleaser, her attitude towards school or even people of her hometown would hardly be what it is. She's a weird kid who fully realized that she's seen as weird and went "Ah, well" about it. Sure it makes her kinda sad, especially at the Academy pre-Marcille, but she's not going out of her way to change the way that people see her. Their loss, she has her grasshoppers.

And then she has two people who are actually fine with her being herself, and she likes being with them, so why not spend time with them?

As far as the Toshiro thing goes, well.

(Sorry, didn't find a better quality)

You're also correct, as per Adventurers' Bible Falin considered his proposal more out of the practical "Well, I don't exactly have a line of suitors waiting for me, maybe I should?" than feeling bad about refusing. If anything, she felt bad about potentially accepting (which is. a totally healthy reason to feel bad). So her considering it is not selfless - it's, in fact, selfish.

I think the misconception about her is heavily based on her role in the story, where everyone is trying to save her, and then, naturally, as you've also pointed out, fusses about her. Because who wouldn't fuss about a dear person revived from the dead?

Marcille is actually the one sometimes subjected to the same mistakes in canon, as seen in her assuming that Laios stole Falin against her will. And it's also spelled out very much in canon that being from a long-lived race, plus having known Falin since she was shorter than her, colors Marcille's perception in a certain way. Hell, she calls the Touden parents "kids" when she hears how old they are. Combine her point of view with Laios', who is Falin's older brother, and the fact that they're both worried, and it's no wonder Falin's mistaken for infantilized.

When in actuality she firmly gets in Marcille's face to say "No, it was my choice to leave", and with Laios... Well, they look for each other in the equal measure at the very least. (Love your observation that she names at least one of the dogs and therefore kicked his ass at least once as a kid, by the way.)

I also think the little drawings of Marcille fussing over Falin's hair or (in the Daydream Hour) nagging her choice of clothes or haircuts adds to the feeling of "Ah, so she lets herself be pushed around" and... first of all, none of those are canon per se, and second of all, even if we assume it translates in canon somewhere... Did Falin change her clothes because Marcille voiced her opinion? No. Just as she didn't stop eating berries or catching bugs. If anything, she influenced Marcille much more than Marcille did her. Moving on.

Stealing the image from your own post, sorry, but I felt it's needed here for context--

I do think it's not accidental that Falin's character arc, what there is of it, ends up with her wanting to explore the world regardless of Laios and Marcille. I do, however, also think, that it's more so her own desire than the dragon's (maybe they're just in agreement).

When Marcille met Falin, she was this girl in a dirty uniform with leaves in her hair, who would run away to explore the forest and the dungeons instead of studying. When we meet Falin in the post-canon omake, she's... got leaves in her hair and has been exploring the nearby natural dungeons. Her wandering habits are exactly the same.

We already know that she's not attached to Marcille at the hip 'cause she ran away once and vanished for 4 good years with only "Ha-ha, has it been that long?" to show for it (which, again, people-pleaser where?). I don't think she'd do that now, of course (whatever the relationship interpretation, poor Marcille would get a heart attack, considering all that had happened), but still, she's not likely to hide her desire to travel either.

And as for Laios, well, he says it himself. He learned to be open to people, dared to show himself more, he got friends now who actually consider him a friend. Before, if Falin left him, he risked to get malnourished again, get accidentally eaten by a monster or get in any other amount of trouble, since she used to be the only one who understood him. Not that it tied her to him by force, she clearly loves her brother and enjoys spending time with him (they're both weird together! they respect each other and see each other as amazing!), but also "Oh no if he leaves like that he'll probably die" was definitely a factor in her ditching the Academy without a second thought. (which one are we infantilizing, again?) (<- that is a joke, our autistic king is not a child either)

Now she knows he's in good hands, loved, respected by the people, and she will always know where to find him.

But also he's now tied to one place, so if she wants to wander free like she was always prone to, then she has to do it without him.

So I personally love that her personal arc ends up in her wanting to see the world and be herself beyond just merrily hanging out with Laios or/and Marcille. And the fact that the dragon probably amplifies that desire.

But she was never shackled by them and never denied herself because of them. This is just the first time in a long while where what she wants branched out from where they're going, and it's time to find out what that means. They got separated, Laios and Marcille got to do some personal growth without her, now it's her turn. That's just how life works, isn't it.

She's done it once already, alone at the Academy before Marcille, when she found a crack in that wall, and she's already doing it again, climbing the dungeons and eating Senshi's food with literally no one else being aware of what she's up to.

Altho this time, wherever she goes, she always knows she can come back to the place where people will gladly eat together with her. (And she likely got a lot of such people around the world now, considering how glad everyone was to see her in the final chapter!)

(Side note - I think that with a considerable part of Tumblr being the 'traumatized neurodivergent website' a lot of us are either people-pleasers ourselves or have friends like that, so we see a character being nice and smiling to everyone and then sacrificing themselves for others, and immediately assume them to be this self-sabotaging martyr who will keel over before they stand up for themselves in fear of upsetting anyone ever and... yeah that's just not who Falin is, at all.

Hell knows I almost fell into this trap myself - which is why your post got me thinking this much. Always good to analyze something that gets you a knee-jerk defensive reaction at first. So, uh, thank you, if you read this far, it helped a lot!)

not to be annoying but i do think a lot of people mischaracterize falin. shes got the most drastic canon v fanon thing going on. which i guess makes sense bc 1. we dont see much of her and 2. lot of the fan stuff are anime-onlies that have seen even less

but i think like a good 90% of the time i see falin-centric art or posts im like hrm hrm hrm thats all wrong no nope no-siree

she's just a cool chick that takes life as it comes, doesn't hold grudges even against a mother that apparently was trying to beat the magic outta her, finds her older brother the coolest person in the world, and has autism about observing life (and death, she loves the ghosts she has a connection to) and nature and taking care of things (including taking care of her brother, which is why she's even in the dungeons; she saw her scrawny mess of a brother and decided she had to fix that).

and i think my favorite part that people don't talk about is... she would have done the same for marcille or laios if it were one of them that was eaten. you could see it in her eyes:

it's what shuro misunderstands about her. it's easy to see her feminine, cute, good girl pieces and forget the rest of her. but she loves things to an ends-of-the-earth extent; the kind of caring that makes you a little insane. and that's how I think she and laios end up on the same page with their weirdness. they have different interests, but they are the same level of committed to those interests.

it's easy to love her, because she probably loves you just as much, if not more.

EDIT: for the love of god stop reblogging this only to add some comment or tag or reply saying 'op you forgot [BLATANTLY FANON INTERPRETATION]'. falin as we know her is not a pushover/people pleaser/infantilized, see this version of my post. also stuff like 'female shuro was in love with laios in the genderbent comic' and 'falin was going to marry shuro because she felt bad' are just things you made up in your head

[moondirti]

← chapter 1

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Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader Rated: Explicit Word Count: 3.5k Summary: Moving in with the Mandalorian involves way more sexual tension and boredom than you'd originally presumed. Warnings: Language, brief mentions of masturbation, just some more pining (I'm sorry) Notes: I got around to editing chapter two! My first version of this was a little rough and didn't align with the characterization I had planned. If you missed my last note, just know that this was originally posted on ao3 (you can see that here). There are a few more chapters out on there if you want to check it out. Additionally, thank you so much for all the love on chapter 1! Your likes, reblogs and comments mean so much to me

One thing about the Mandalorian is that he can not sit still.

It’s been a week since he bust your door down and tried to die tragically in your arms (though he’s insistent you’re dramatising it all, it truly did feel that way to you). Theoretically, he could have been fully healed by now - what, with all the bacta you’ve been slathering onto him - but his refusal to take it easy has had some adverse effects. For one, he almost immediately began sporting the beskar get-up again, despite your insistence on it not being a very good idea - you know fully well from your inept attempts at polishing it that it is heavy. It came as no surprise to you, then, when you found that his newly-formed scabs reopened under the strain the armour put on his back. Even he recognised his error upon witnessing the tempered rage you barely kept at bay while sanitising the area, his helmet premeditatively turned the other away to avoid your glare. 

You seriously wonder how he hasn’t torn a muscle yet; your shoulders ache after slouching for too long, to carry upwards of 50 kilograms in pure metal at all times should be considered an extreme sport. 

‘Probably why he’s so grouchy all the time,’ you grumble to yourself.

Because yes, Mando is grumpy and irritable and a pain in the ass. He boldly returns any painkiller he doesn’t deem necessary, can constantly be found doing manual labour around the house for all your instructions to rest, and sleeps on the other side of your very thin bedroom wall, meaning you can do little to relieve the ache between your legs that’s settled since his arrival. The thought of his toned back haunts you wherever you go; in the shower (apparently too small a space to get off), on your supply runs; hell, even when Mando is around do you catch yourself reflecting on the rest of his body, and whether it matches the portion you’re allowed to see. 

Your assessment so far is as follows: living with the man is torturous. That conclusion is suddenly brought to glaring importance when you’re reminded of your promise to move onto his ship. 

“Pack your things.” You’re plating freshly-grilled frog skewers for the kid when his father speaks from behind you.

“Huh?” The child grins in thanks; you pinch his cheek as you turn to Mando. 

“We should leave soon. Been here too long.” When he isn’t on the verge of death, Mando’s sentences are always clipped, as if he has a limited amount of words he’s allowed to use per day. Perhaps that’s the case in his creed - speaking too much might risk revealing more than one should. 

You don’t have time to shoot him the incredulous expression you’ve grown so accustomed to using in his presence before he’s walking away. “You’re not healed yet!” You vainly call after him. He resorts to his usual, handy response - nothing at all. Not like you expected him to actually acknowledge his weakness, though. He seems intent on getting off of Nevarro as soon as possible, in spite of both you and his wound. 

“Wanna know a secret, stink?” You brush your thumb over the kid’s fuzzy head. He babbles back at you. “You’re my favourite.” 

You discover rather quickly that you don’t have much to pack. The house you’ve decided to hold on to for practicality, meaning all of the furniture and knick-knacks you’ve collected over the years were to be kept as is. That left you with only your clothes, medical supplies and blaster to stuff into your duffel bag, alongside an old threadbare blanket you opt you can’t live without. You’re done that next morning, freshly showered and a surge of thrill circuiting through you. 

When Mando leads you out towards the Razor Crest, there’s a particular lack of sorrow in saying bye to your home. 

It may be that something deep within you that caused you to question if you are really cut out for a bounty hunter's life, bound to tuck your tail between your legs at the first sign of trouble and come skipping back to where it’s safe. Or maybe it’s the bitterness at those several, several, lonely nights you’ve spent here in silence, rotting on your couch while perusing through mindless holodramas, trying to get a taste of something more. There’s nothing for you here; your life has been a series of translucent meaning, stuck in a perpetual loop of charged static particles - buzzing, buzzing, buzzing. It’s misery fit only for the girl you were back on Corellia.

Nevarro’s rocky terrain and sinking black sands made it so that your group didn’t reach the Razor Crest until hours later. You briefly ponder on how Mando managed to get to you in his injured state when his ship is parked so far away, but you know better than to ask; tension radiates off him in waves today. You really don’t want to be on the receiving end of his killer cold shoulder. 

“I’m going into town to collect bounty pucks from Karga. I should be back by nightfall.” Mando declares before inputting something on his left vambrace that releases the ramp. You dodge the lowering gateway, grumbling when he steals your duffle bag to throw it onto the docking port of the Crest. 

“If I unpack to a broken jar and spilled salve, you’re paying to have my closet revamped.” You huff. 

“Can’t be of much help there.” He begins to usher the child’s floating pram onto the Crest. 

“Oh, being stingy with where you got that cuirass tailored?” You clamber up behind him. “What if I want the latest Mandalorian fashions?” There’s a second where he wavers, helmet turning to face you with a fixed look. 

Snorting, you pull away to look around. A narrow cage against the wall adjacent from you captures your attention, gas canisters and a system of wires adorning the inside. A carbonite freezer, you realise with a shiver; a model very similar to the one you used in the academy to transfer specimens through space. From your disjointed memories of your time there, you recall it has a sixty-percent survival rate for carbon-based beings. Truly, it’s a heartless piece of equipment, never the best choice unless one is going for convenience. 

But of course, Mando is a bounty hunter. You forget that fact far too often when it’s just the two of you. Convenience, ruthlessness, is key for him. 

Suddenly, you’re very aware of just how much he lets you get away with. You even have half a mind to apologise for your joke, especially while watching him take stock of his weapons closet. He handles the artillery with skilled precision, fingers locating each switch and clasp with little difficulty, like he has practised it in his sleep. 

He’s good with his hands. You jot that mental note for later.

Blinking, you shake away the tangent and carry on with your self-led tour. On your right is the docking port, an area of space crammed with crates, toolboxes and old machinery; on the left, two doorways. You assume one leads to a bunk and the other to a refresher when you notice a distinct lack of the two in your inspection of the second level. All you find up there is the cockpit and a storage room for his frozen quarries. Overall, it’s a regular ship, save for the cold store on the lower deck. 

You just had one question: “Mando? Where will I be sleeping?” 

Scaling down the ladder, you appraise his armed form. He was a step away from leaving the Crest. 

“On the bed.” His helmet nods towards one of the two doors to the front of the ship. 

“That’s yours.” You don’t mention that the thought of sleeping next to him every night makes you want to combust - partly because you know that isn’t what he meant, mostly because your tongue is stuck in your throat.  

“We’ll take turns.” That’s the end of the conversation for him. He turns to exit but falters when you stammer out:

“Erm… Is that alright with you? I don’t wanna intrude. I’m okay with sleeping on the floor, you know.” You sleep like a loth-cat in hibernation - hardly anything can get you out of it. And this is his home, you’d feel terrible if he couldn’t so much as nap because you were hogging his bed. 

“It’s fine. I hardly sleep anyway.” His tone softens, his helmet bowing down at you. Although it’s barely noticeable, his inflection isn’t that of a liar. Somehow, his telling the truth is worse, if not for anything but the dysfunction of what he just admits to. 

You frown. “That’s not good for you.” 

There’s a modulated hitch of breath, a shake of his shoulders. Was he laughing at you? For what? You aren’t the idiot, not when he is the one parading around guns slinging with few moments respite. You open your mouth to expand on your point, only for him to interrupt with a hand at your shoulder. 

It’s steady - comforting, and debilitating all at once. Then, Mando dryly remarks. “Yes, doctor.”

And he trots off, leaving you with only the sarcastic retort to turn over in your head until he comes back. 

No sooner than when the ramp closes shut, you practically melt, knees entirely too weak given the distance you just trekked. Stars, the way he said it - the way he tauntingly used your designation and sauntered off like it didn’t itch the unreachable part of you so desperate for validation. He can’t have known, he can’t have known of the way it renders you a pile of useless putty in his hands. Still, he was entirely too confident with the taunt, infuriatingly self-assured for someone with a deficit in social skills. It's ridiculous.

The pressure at your core returns, broiling. You need to get this situation of yours in check before he comes back, for everyone’s sake. 

You almost forget to tuck the napping child into the hammock you spot above the bed, too intent on finding release up in the cockpit. 

Hyperspace is a marvel to behold. It’s all the light in the galaxy passing by in blurs of blue and purple, surrounding - engulfing - you in its infinity. The cockpit of the Razor Crest is absolute metal and mismatched parts, ugly in every sense, but in hyperspace, it reflects every colour, every shape. And seated in the passenger's chair, you are smack dab in the centre of it all, fascinated - for the first hour of travel - by the kaleidoscope that overtakes you. 

Now, however, it’s been three. Three hours, and the beauty has begun losing its charm. 

Maybe you’re salty. Each time you readjust or shift in the slightest, you’re reminded that you never got to cum. There’s a pulse that twinges with the least bit of friction, tucked away in a spot you didn’t manage to hit, a spot that Mando can probably dig out with ease. Pathetic. It’s like all you can concentrate on is how hard he’d fuck - pressing you up against some unknown surface of the Crest - or how desperately he probably needs it. Shit, is this going to be the death of you? This sexual frustration, that multiplies and stretches and grows exponentially whenever you are in his presence? You scowl to yourself, just as well, it would be a suitable end for a woeful life.

The man in question sits diagonal to you; arms crossed and legs spread. You already mistook him for asleep, having idiotically waved your hands and pulled faces at his visor for five straight minutes before he decided enough was enough and pushed your head away. You don’t think you’ll ever live down the embarrassment of it, in all honesty; you make a point to pointedly avoid his amused glances when he turns to check if the kid is still satisfied with his metal ball. 

When his back is to you, however, you can’t help but be transfixed by his lap, captivated in his pose, his thighs, his-

You really need to cut it out before you start frothing at the mouth. 

“What do you usually do for fun around here?” Your voice is rough with misuse. You cough to get rid of the scratch in it. 

“Man the ship.” His helmet still faces the vast nothingness outside.  

“That’s not fun.” 

“You asked.” A smidgen of annoyance eclipses your incessant need for him. You gorge on it, chasing the irritation. You have more of a chance at satiating that, at least. 

Leaning forward, you flick his pauldron, accomplishing nothing but hurting yourself. “Forgive me for expecting you to actually entertain me for once. I thought it safe to assume, given you’re literally doing nothing, either.” The remark escapes harsher than you intend it to be. Deep in your gut, where only doughy, vexing empathy exists, there’s a twinge of guilt. All the same, you hold your ground, resting your chin on a propped arm as you lour at the back of his head.

He hums, flicking a switch on the overhead panel instead of gracing you with a response.

“Do you wanna play a game?” The suggestion is not at all light-hearted, and is solely made to introduce a scenario through which you can channel your displeasure. Mando must pick up on this, for he shuts down the possibility before you get too ahead of yourself. 

“I don’t like games.” 

You clench and unclench your teeth. 

“I can make it worth your while.” You grit out. “How about… one of us hides something and the other has to find it, hm?” You’re hinging on desperation here; you can’t help the optimistic lilt at the end of your question. 

“I’m a bounty hunter. Finding things is my specialty.”

“That’s the fun part. You can go first.” That will occupy you for sure. He’s familiar with his ship, is intimate with every crevice and cranny, and if he were to give his all into concealing an object, it’d take you years to uncover it. 

“You’re going to make a mess.” He waves. That’s off the table, then. 

“Okay, message received. No sabacc?” You are not good at sabacc. You briefly recall losing about 500 credits on it at the academy, actually. 

“No.” Probably for the best. You’re quickly running out of ideas, though, and you desperately need something to help you ignore the effects his drawl has on you.

“So does The Way say no to having fun?” 

He sighs. “I play with the kid, sometimes.” The concession throws you off guard, your face abruptly warming with a flush at the domesticity of the act. His care for the kid hasn’t escaped you - you’ve picked up on it in the way he keeps a hand on his pram at all times and washes his mouth after meal times - but playing is another thing altogether. It’s one more point towards the new portrait you’re conjuring of the man beneath the suit. A kind man, a loving one. 

“I’ve tried that. He’s too preoccupied with his… toy, to pay me any attention,” You side-eye the babbling green monster, who sits slobbering over the ball. If he wasn't so cute, you’d cringe at the mess he’s made of his romper. 

“Try painting yourself silver, maybe then he’d be interested in you.” 

You can’t help the giggle that erupts from you. It’s irrepressible, bubbling up from nowhere, stirring your chest with an unknown feeling. "Told you; I need me some Mandalorian armour. He exclusively likes metal things.” 

And then he’s chuckling along with you, and you’re able to pinpoint it as a school-girl type of giddiness. What’s best is that you’re hardly horrified at the prospect, either. You like it, this flutter that racks through you. It’s so different to the heat - of both ire and lust - you feel when you’re around him. It emboldens you to keep talking. 

“What do you say about answering a few questions of mine. I know your blood and bones better than I know you.” You simper, “You can ask me whatever too.”

“Alright.” He flicks on autopilot controls before kicking back to face you. You beam at the receptiveness. 

“Hmm…” Pointing to the blaster at his hip, you ask, “Your first weapon, what was it? And how old were you when you mastered it.” You’re familiar enough with Mandalorian culture to know that weapons were part of their religion; it was as good a place to start as any.

Cocking his head, he deliberates for a moment. “Must have been a spear.” If the vague gesture he makes is anything to go by, the artillery doesn’t hold much significance to him. You can’t say you know much about them either, compared to your ingrained index on blasters and rifles. “I was put in a spar with it at ten, but I haven’t really used any since.” 

You process his words, searching for an acknowledgement that wouldn’t offend. “That’s… really young.” 

“Mandalorians by birth start younger.” And though he nods, there’s a subtle hesitation in his statement, like he's ashamed to admit it. You can't decipher why; he’s the best damn warrior you’ve ever come across, regardless of status. Curious, you attempt to prod further.

“You’re not a mandalorian by birth?” 

“I was rescued by one as a child.” You consider biting the dust and bringing up the elephant in the cockpit, but you are already breaking new ground with the guy. You don’t want to make him relive his trauma just yet. “I’m a foundling.” The kid coos. 

“Takes one to know one, huh, stink?” You toss at the baby, who now reaches for his father. Mando picks him up with one swooping movement. “Where are you from, then?” 

“Aq Vatina.” It’s said so quietly you almost feel bad for asking. He pauses. “Are you from Nevarro originally?” 

“No, and thank goodness for that." You break off for a moment. It isn’t like you are proud of your birth planet either. "Corellia.” 

The air shifts. The Mandalorian’s hand stills upon the child’s chest, his visor now solely trained on you. You can’t blame him, your home planet truly does have a reputation for being an awful place. Yet with the way your cheeks tingle, you think he might be reassessing the tell-tale arch of your nose, the dimensions of your face. More than anything, you feel the cogs in his brain turn as his perception of you settles. 

“Born and raised there, went to the medical academy when the Empire was still around. Jus’ moved later in life.” 

“Hm,” This hum is much more thoughtful than the dismissive ones he’s thrown your way before. You don’t like it, being perceived like this, with this past. Not to mention, the uncomfortable reminder of why you really left Corellia leaves an ache in your bones. An image of your father’s face flashes to the forefront of your mind. “Explains the mouth on you.”

Shaking it off, you mumble. “What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?” 

“I’m not answering that.” 

You roll your eyes. “Fine. Longshot anyway.” You reconsider, landing on a generic question that’s been clawing at you for ages now. “How old are you?

You’ve tried to guess in the past, based on a multitude of factors you’ve observed. He has the exemplary stamina of someone still in their prime. Initially, that placed him in his twenties. That is, until more of his personality made itself known and you found he acts like a senior citizen greatly dissatisfied with the view in their nursing home window. That raised him to a solid forty in your head. 

“Lost track. Probably in my late thirties.” Close enough.

You chortle. “Old man.” 

He shakes his head. “I’m getting there.” Something in his timbre reminds you of his back, of the skin that warms up so easily under your hands. His muscles pulse with life whenever you touch him, flourishing under the small instances of physical touch. The life of a Mandalorian must be an impoverished one, to go without all the things people needed to live - that pure, skin-on-skin contact. For almost forty years, no less. 

You’re suddenly extremely honoured that he’s taken to you as his doctor. 

“I’m about a decade your junior.” You try to fill the silence; he didn’t ask, and you don’t manage to catch onto his reaction, mind too addled with a snowballing jumble of emotions that you race after, trying to untangle. Yes, there is the ever present desire that seems to be a condition of being his companion, but there’s also an effervescent centre to it all, sparkling in and out of existence all too rapidly for you to place. 

“Kriff…” You perk at the curse. “You’re just a kid.” His cadence has drawn to a gentle murmur, as if everything has just fallen into place for him. 

Your heart twinges, frightened that his opinion of you has degraded, somehow. He likely regrets inviting yet another responsibility, another addition to his burden in trying to survive the galaxy while remaining as morally sound as possible. You’re not just a kid, no, but you are all of those other things. Useless. A liability. More trouble than you’re worth. 

If Mando senses the change of tone in your next words, he doesn’t mention it. “Only in spirit.”

You need to mean more to him, you conceive. 

chapter three →

[randomfandomz]

GET READY FOR A LOT OF HUSK HEADCANNONS

Im not sorry–

Depressed as f*ck so he doesnt have the modivation to take care of himself

He drinks mainly to forget, and to releive stress

Not only that but he H A T E S water(not as much as Baxter does, but he still avoids it like the plauge)

He never showers until he absolutely has to

Like his fur is always matted and alchohol scented

And he thinks licking himself clean like non-demon cats do is absolutely out of the question, it is gross and undignified, he doesnt want to lick himself and water makes his fur feel heavy and cold and he w i l l argue with you about this

He hates having fur. He just hates it. Its hard to take care of and things get stuck in it, it gets caught in things and just hhhh h h h H H - NO

Will straight up refuse to shower until Charlie makes him

Everyone in the hotel knows about shower day

The day when they make Husk take a shower because e w g r o s s o l d m a n -

Baxter somewhat sympathizes with him about his hatred of water

Not like he actually shows it or does anything to help him though- because 1) Bax really doesnt give a flying f*ck, he just wants to do science and this doesnt concern science so he couldnt care less, and 2) He doesnt wanna speak up because s o c i a l a n x i e t y . S o c i a l i n t e r a c t i o n ? N o t h a n k y o u .

Hes literally a cat, so he hates water with a burning passion

Husk's self image is kinda... ehhhhhh- I mean, its not like he really is that bad looking, if anything he looks pretty damn cool, but he honestly finds himself pretty unattractive. "The fur and wings d o n t h e l p "

Doesnt care if you call him old unless youre trying to be offensive; Hes proud of his age and experience

Even though he acts like an old man(well, he kinda is, but-) hes actually younger than Baxter, Mimzy, Alastor, Angel, and Nifty

Only Vaggie and Crymini are younger than him

When Husk first arrived at the hotel he didnt really wanna interact with anyone; New places kind of stress him out, so it took a long time for him to adjust and not snap at every little thing

Dont get me wrong, hes still a pissy alchoholic^tm, but the anger is less serious/genuine and more just because thats how he is

Husk fought in the vietnam war, and he attempted(and failed) suicide multiple times after the war until he was eventually beaten to death outside of a bar

He turned to alchoholism and gambling as a coping mechanism

Husk suffers from PTSD(Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), along with the obvious alchoholism and gambling addiction

He is very salty/sad that he's a war vet but died in a bar fight, and wouldn't be remembered for his fighting but rather for being beaten to death in a bar while trying to drink away the feelings he had about not being welcomed home because of the way the media portrayed him and his fellow soldiers that fought in Vietnam

Upon learning that Husk is a vietnam war vet(he mentioned it while drunk off his ass- more than usual) one patron who attended the hotel for a short time told him "Welcome home doc!". Husk was surprised, as he had come to terms with the idea that he would never be thanked or welcomed for his services, but he did make sure to be maybe a bit less pissy to that particular guest. He will never forget them. It meant more to him than he would like to admit.

((I can't really think of a better reason as to why Husk would bring it up, but having seen one or two instances of someone saying "welcome home" to Vietnam war vets, I really wanted to add this. The "Welcome home doc" thing was me referencing a specific instance of this ive seen. Im so sorry if I'm wrongly portraying this in anyway, I tried to do enough research first before typing this part out, but I just wanted to point out that I tried my best to be respectful while talking about the subject.))

Moving on- L A S E R P O I N T E R S

One time Angel was just casually messing around with a laser pointer, out of boredom or something

HUSK'S RESPONSE WAS IMMEDIATE

HE WILL CHASE THAT RED DOT TO THE ENDS OF THE GODDAMN EARTH

"That DAMN RED DOT where the FUCK did iT gO!?"

He HATES that he does this, but he really cannot help it

Being a cat demon, and being Husk, his hunt and kill instinct is through the roof(hunt and kill instinct is why cats chase laser pointers btw)

Was VERY pissy for the next few weeks after this incident

Husk will purr involuntarily whenever someone pets him or strokes his fur

He WILL murder anyone who attempts to pet him or make him purr without consent(*COUGH COUGH* ANGEL *COUGH*)

Same goes for the wings DO NOT TOUCH THE WINGS, JUST DONT-

In his room, Husk's bed is literally a mound of blankets and pillows inside a box

Even he needs to get warm and comfortable after a long day

He never lets anyone in his room

Like n e v e r

Angel snuck in one night- Husk's half asleep drunken a*s shoved him out and yelled at him, waking up practically all the hotel staff and a few guests

In his defense, Angel, upon seeing the sleeping Husk, scratched behind his ears. Husk started to purr, but then snapped to somewhat conciousness, and realized what the f*ck was going on-

Yes, Husk is v e r y defensive

Give him a compliment? He wont accept it under any circumstances. He will probably be flustered and claim that the other is either lying or just kissing up to him

"You know you dont have to kiss my a*s to ask me something, right? The fuck do you want?"

Charlie honestly finds his reaction to compliments very sad

Has a kind of "well ya didnt need to point it out" attitude towards insults

Alastor insults him with the worst names in the book? He accepts it and couldnt give less f*cks

Even if its someone either than Alastor insulting him, usually even if he acts offended and p*ssed off, somewhere in his mind he just accepts it

Usually Alastor is the one insulting him, but in a "best friend rights" kind of way

He likes being creative when it comes to colorful language

"Look out to my sea of f*cks, and see how it is barren"

Doesnt have a "soft spot" for kids like Angel, but doesnt mind lessening the swearing a bit and doing a few magic tricks for the occasional child that somehow found their way to the hotel

He HISSES

If Husk is hissing at you you better f*ckin rUN-

He usually refrains from hissing- its part of him rebelling against his cat-like nature, but if he is openly hissing at you it means he is at his wits-end and is honestly P * S S E D .

sERIOUSLY, F*CKING R U N -

Crymini has a blog documenting all the cat-like things Husk does, and she sometimes does the classic "THIS IS A HUSK IN ITS NATURAL HABITAT" or "LETS SEE HOW THE KITTY REACTS TO THIS NEXT THING" bit, and Husk honestly finds it insulting as f*ck

Crymini pranked Husk with a cucumber(you know how cats on the internet are terrified of them) and Husk was actually scared of it, and he ran up a f*cking tree and wouldnt come down for a solid hour, partly put of legitimate fear, and partly out of spite from seeing the slightly guilty look on Crymini's face after the first 20 minutes of him hiding up there

Being a cat demon, alchohol is actually slightly toxic to him, and he is prone to alchohol poisoning. He usually drinks beer, which has low ammount of ethanol(5-7%)[ethanol is what makes alchohol so toxic to cats]

Baxter has a spray bottle to use on Husk if he is being particularly stubborn or bothersome. Charlie sometimes uses her own spray bottle for similar purposes, but she usually says something like "Bad kitty! No!" Along with it to tease him. Husk finds it humiliating and hates when his fur is wet, so surprisingly the spray bottle thing usually works.

He is demi-panromantic and asexual

H A T E S being touched, like under any circumstances

"The last time I voluntarily made physical contact with another being was in 1970 and it was while I was loosing a bar fight. It was also the day I was beaten to death and setenced to hell."

Bonus:

Angel: Hey kitty~! Wanna cuddle~?

Husk: The last time I voluntarily made physical contact with another being was in 1970 and it was while I was loosing a bar fight.

Angel: Oh really? *snickers* And how'd that work out for ya'?

Husk: Well, it was also the day I was beaten to death and put in hell. So I dunno. You tell me.

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Was reading your response to the Okumura Ryuji/Morgana fight, and the way the person worded Ryuji's character made me wanna ask... Do you think a bad fanbase is a fair reason to dislike a character? I've heard people say things like "no look at the character too", but... For example, I'm very neutral on Ryuji. When he's good, hes SO GOOD, EXCELLENT BOY, but Ann is my favorite girl. Guess who he pervs on exclusively and is rude to all the time? I've never seen his fans talk about (1/2 sorry)

His rude behavior, or his pervy tendencies, or his more selfish desires regarding the PT. That's fine!! Not everyone wants to constantly talk about bad things their fave has done!!! But people referring to him as a "woman respecting king" so insistently rubs me the wrong way, since he treats Ann Like That. That, and (more personal) i remember making a post/ask thing once about my grievances with Ryuji, esp his perv stuff, and the fans that interacted very aggressively denied his behavior (2/3)

And it even turned into a big discourse on the blog I submitted it to (it was that one confession blog). All the people that responded and just tried moving the arguments to "well Yusuke did this-" or even tried to push blame on Ann "she was asking for it" just kinda cemented my already growing dislike for Ryuji. Super sorry this is so long!!! Final question: is a bad fanbase a fair reason for disliking a character? (3/3)

Don’t say sorry about multiple sent asks, I don’t mind kfdsjla;fja As for the answer, I want to say yes and no, but really it’s just “yes with a side note attached.” Yeah, it’s ok to not like a char because of their fans, but I think it’s as long as you know why you dislike the char beyond the fans (well tbh, imo it’s usually the crazy fans so I think stans is a better word, but even then there’s diff stans). And tbh, I....can’t....think of a character I don’t like that the fandom/fanbase does....but I know nothing about the char all the while (closest and most recent example this....is....I know people dislike that grey haired moe blob on twitter even tho I don’t think they watched the show, and while I’m not a fan of the moeblobness I don’t know anything about the char so I’m personally not upset). I can only name chars I don’t like because of what happens in the text, fandom be damned (but sometimes they don’t help). Which is why it’s a yes with a side note. If you don’t like the char despite not knowing them.....probably get to know the char first even if your impression is clouded by the fandom....at least you gave the char a chance. 

Under cut cause length (first few sentences in the first paragraph under the cut/tldr at the end gives you the answer a bit more in depth, the rest is rants related to that and why I get frustrated in a similar sense too, but yeah sorry if I repeat myself, I kinda jumped all over + my tendency to try to nail a point home I feel like might’ve had me repeat a bit more than usual akslfjdakfjaf):

I say this because.....it’s hard....it’s hard to keep them separated, unless you completely isolate yourself from the fandom (which is basically impossible if you wanna keep up with news, even the comment section is part of the fandom tbh...and you might be looking down their for diff reasons). And then.....well...the big reason....sometimes seeing the fans really highlights the reasons you dislike the char. That’s what happened to me and Makoto, specifically cause of....a certain fan (and buddy if you happen to see this, nothing against you, no bad blood, def won’t mention your name I respect you and the debates we had)....AND TO THE TUMBLR READERS WHO GET NERVOUS: It wasn’t on this website in case anyone is freaking out so if you’re thinking “Oh god it’s me” it is most likely not you (tho I think we do know each other on here cause of usernames/saw each other in passing but we def aren’t mutuals last time I checked), and while I do respect that person.......my god did they highlight the reasons I had issues with P5 and Makoto. Ironically in trying to defend her and show off her good sides, I realized the writing issues more and more and her bad sides became more glaring. It turned my frustrating dislike and attempt to try to work out my issues with her and P5 (ironically “working out” in hindsight would’ve been me....denying and refusing to look at P5′s flaws) into....well......the salt factory you know today. (same thing happens with like......Yukari and Junpei fans too tbh...that’s more recent tho, it feels like they are just downplaying their negatives constantly and I’m not about that). Basically, you probably have issues already, they are just more pronounced now. 

As for “look at the character”....you kinda already are doing that, and that’s probably where your existing issues originated from (tho if someone wants a more in depth reason as to why, while you DON’T OWE them an explanation, it is also hard for someone to understand your feelings and reasons if you don’t try to explain). 

As for Ryu, yea, I getcha, I like the guy, I’m neutral positive on him....was my best bro but he’s 2nd best thanks to post-Kamo writing. I like him because of his positives, but I always keep his negs in mind because. Cause like while I agree with the fans IT MAKES NO SENSE! P5′S WRITING IS BAD! it happened, same as I agree that Anne kicking Ryu’s ass, along with the other girls, is shitty. Hate the scene, and I accept that it happen (low key gonna start some kinda 2nd wave war with this bs cause the fandom be like that, but I’m really surprised no one took Anne smacking Ryu behind the neck cause he was being too loud as super offensive and abuse.......it’s def something a friend might do, not like belting him just a tap, and it’s framed as chill and also as warning him to reign in the volume control, but high key surprised no one has tried to cancel her cause of that). BUT that DOESN’T mean it erases all the creepy stuff he’s done. Is he the goodest boi when he’s being good? The best. Is he always a good boi? No, he def is not. And hearing that he is can be frustrating to people that do see his flaws (cause they are there). And like....you are 100% able to like a character despite and because of their flaws, while also accepting they have those flaws. I do it with Yosuke, Ryuji (for the most part), Teddie, Shinji, Ken, Kanji (when he’s not around Naoto, then he’s in a trash can for me), P1/2 casts, Aigis, Mitsuru, as long as the flaws are within reason and are treated pretty well....then I’m ok with it. (again, Kanji/Ryu have moments when I’m like....NOPE! but when they aren’t doing the bad thing I’m cool with them). As long as the flaws are withing reason (aka they aren’t making a jerk person out to be the person in the right, or the writing is trying to sweep what they did under the rug, or trying to force us into empathizing with them despite what they did while also trying ot sacrifice empathy towards another char.....*cough*Makoto/Yukari/Junpei*cough* if the writing isn’t doing that...... I’m probs neutral to pos on them). 

Like I’m fine if they are criticizing the writing and being like “Him doing this makes no sense cause it conflicts with the good boi we’ve already seen!” That’s a-ok! Not only do you recognize your char has flaws, you also are able to identify issues with the writing. But saying “so I’ll choose to ignore that scene” isn’t....ok. Because sadly it did happen, as contradictory it did happen. AU it all you want, but you have to accept it happened outside of that AU. Like, I don’t like the Mika conflict in Anne’s CoOp, by which I don’t like how it went down (100% fine with Mika, and there being conflict with her). How it the whole thing started doesn’t make sense if you put MainStory!Anne in her CoOp. MS!Anne can read the room and other people’s emotions (only other person capable of that is Haru, or at least with Mona), hell she was so good at it she noticed something was up with Shiho without Shiho telling her about it! The issue was the fact Anne’s not a mind reader and could only assume the issue Shiho was going through that Anne was aware of (and that was her spot on the team). Now MS!Anne is not like Yosuke, she doesn’t put her foot in her mouth. She’s not like Naoto who can’t read the room. She’s not super eloquent, but can empathize and when she can interact with people she can do it pretty well. So why the hell does she basically not think before talking and insult Mika? Sure Anne’s not GREAT at school, but she’s not a moron, she can talk to people. But her CoOp makes her a moron all around, 100% airhead, and that’s how her issues with Mika start, by not thinking before talking and accidentally insulting her via blatantly “not caring” about the job to a full time person......it’s stupid, it makes no sense, I hate it. But it’s there, the flaw might not be present in the main story, but for the all around character (cause CoOps are included) it is now and I just have to deal with it. We can bitch about it all day (and trust me I will) but it happened. Basically never frame it as “it didn’t happen,” but instead “It SHOULDN’T HAVE happened.” One is denial, the other is critiquing the text. 

Anyway my rant aside, yeah I hate it when...well Ren/Ryu/Yusuke (no one’s said Mona yet, cause....well yeah...which is good they haven’t labeled him as it yet tho), are labeled as “drinking respect women juice” and I’m like “I have one to a few women who would disagree.” I know some people will argue Goro is drinking it, and imo he’s not....he’s just eating the “I don’t discriminate sandwich” which is different. And yeah the “But Yusuke-” yeah yeah we’ll get to him, but right now we’re talking about RYUJI. I’m not a fan of derailing a topic *war flashbacks* *shivers* anyway. But yeah I remember that debate, I was probably one who was like “We’ll get to Yusuke but right now we’re talking about Ryuji” and pushing the blame onto Anne is disgusting and Kamo Arc!Ryuji would be very upset. >:( (btw high key I think I was the first one who started the first anti-makoto war wave with me saying “yeah Anne shouldn’t have apologized Makoto started it and blah blah she was an ass” not the exact words but basically just calling her out on her shitty behavior cause the game certainly didn’t......tho as Miley Cyrus would say.....”I didn’t mean to start a waaaaaar~!” I actually wrote my first Persona Problems on that topic.......but it got lost in the drafts....my photo examples kept getting messed up which is bad considering the whole post really relied on them....I should try to dig it up tbh....)

Tldr/short answer: Yeah, you probably already have issues with the char to begin with tbh, and the fanbase can highlight those issues more. It’s also hard to escape the fanbase (I see stuff I don’t wanna see despite trying my hardest to avoid certain circles, it just happens).

[xsecretblastsx]

1x06 - The handmaiden's tale

I'm kind of excited that I finally reached this one, I remember I liked it a lot the first time I've watched it and the next two episodes are some of my favorites in the whole series so... yeah.

Thoughts I had while watching

Blair really tried so hard with Nate.

'If Serena asked me I wouldn't deprive her of my company' I know the guy is having a case of nervous verbal diarrhea, but seriously Dan🙄

Great Vanessa is here! Said no one, ever

So I'm kind of confused about the timeline now, because Vanessa was gone only for a year, and Dan confessed his feelings to her but she rejects him, granted I didn't paint attention to this during my first watch, but I always thought he became obsessed with Serena after Vanessa. Go figures.

I love how passionate Blair is about getting Serena a date for the ball. I also really like her outfit here, we rarely got to see her wore shorts.

Instant messaging on a laptop, I feel so old.

Those scenes were Dan is looking to his laptop or phone with his surprised face at something gossip girl posted are so hilarious. I guess he really was a method actor

Really Nate you called Blair, she didn't answer so you decide to go and pay a visit in person... to Serena you could have gone to Blair's house you know.

Vanessa's outfits are awful.

I had totally forgot about Rufly's plot this episode

I've always loved the montage they did of everyone putting on their mask.

It may have been one of his usual lines, but I don't doubt for a second he really didn't need clues to find her even then. He always noticed her didn't he.

'Beautiful and mean, I got chills' again a line, but the truth none the less. Funny how random lines can be not so random after all

Gotta give it to Jenny I really love how he played Chuck on this episode.

Ah the Vanderbilt ring, gotta be honest I don't like it.

Rufly finally kissed!!

Dan and all his lies 🙄

Sorry Chuck, but you totally deserved that one.

'He should know how it feels to lose you, is not fun' i have all the rufly feels.

Serena looked so pretty at this ball.

Blair are Nate were really depressing to watch at this point, refusing to admit the obvious.

I actually would have like to know how Chuck got that suit, it may have been a funny story.

I remember how glad I was the first time when Blair left Nate standing on the street and how frustrated I was with him for just not ending it. Now I kind of wonder how things would have play out if they had broke up here. 🤔

Happy endings by Mika to end this episode, oh the irony

Now that I think of it, this is the last episode where it was all about Dan and Serena, I feel like pointing it out because I've seen comments where people mentioned that when rewatching they start a 1x07.

I think I may have like this episode much more the first time around, and I think that has a lot to do with the fact I don't like Derena anymore, and this episode is heavy on that front with the introduction of Vanessa, another character I'm not a big fan of. I also noticed that while this episode advances the Nate and Blair plotline, Blair's actually not that much in this episode. Considering the next episode I think that was on purpose.

Honestly I ended up liking really two things from this episode: Jenny's little revenge on Chuck, and this:

She did looked ravishing and he looks quite devilish. I would tagged #couplegoals but we're not there yet. They also look like they could kill you. Though Nate really couldn't cared less, I mean Chuck didn't even had a reason to and yet he went to talked to her, I've always felt he was always entertained waiting for the Nate and Blair fiasco to crash, in part for his own amusement but also because it needed to happen. I bet he thought his life would get simpler: a less broody Nate and less complains from Blair.😂

Random bits I've noticed

This is the first episode were Blair's room looks like we know it. Hello Marie Antoinette, I missed you.

That yellow shirt Chuck's wearing under that pink sweater looks almost like the same one he uses later on for one romantic rendez-vous with a certain brunette. Should I be concerned that I remember this stuff.

Not relevant but I'm feeling Nostalgic (and old) so here's Serena's IM friends:

P.S i apologize in advance for the long ass post that my recap of 1x07 will probably be.

[ais-n]

2| and where is the trauma? both hsin and boyd were severely sexually abused. and emilio's illness is always treated as a joke. look Ais, your series has done me so much good between the bad it did. i found i'm gay lmao and i'm grateful for that. i'm grateful that you wrote this ok. but there are things that were offensive, and maybe it was unconscious, since i doubt you wanted to be racist or write a mlm relationship but more like hetero. i wish i could just enjoy the books but my heart breaks

3| idk what the one who questioned that could possibly mean between all the things but thats what i mean. i appreciate you a lot. i hope this didn’t make you feel worse or whatever. but some people really did end up hurt badly after reading icos and im one of them. with all respect, and hope that i didnt disturb you much, farewell.

++++++++++++

Aha I just realized I can put both 2nd and 3rd asks in one! Which is good because, again, the gay comment makes me laugh out loud XD As I said in the other post, thank you again for reaching out, for explaining your concerns, and for the courage you no doubt had to bring forth in order to do so.

I’m getting right into the answers in this one although I will probably ask more questions for clarification on some of the points, as I did on the first one, to make sure I’m not misunderstanding or misinterpreting anything.

More below the cut! :)

EMILIO’S ILLNESS

I’m really sorry but I wasn’t sure what you meant by that. Which illness? How is it treated as a joke? Could you clarify? 

TRAUMA

So this I thought was super interesting that you felt there was no representation of trauma in ICoS, or I assume you also mean its aftereffects. That’s actually one of the few points I feel pretty confident saying the series does portray a lot of, both in some cases the experience of it and in other cases the repercussions. 

One of the reasons both of them are so severely dysfunctional individually and together is because of trauma.

I don’t want to muddy up this post with a huge tangent but someone had asked a few years ago about the result of the Aleixo mission on Boyd, if he was diagnosed with anything, and so on. If you’re interested, I wrote a long ass reply about the psychological effect of sex trafficking on survivors/victims and talked about some of the things you see Boyd do that are a bit reflective of that. More info at https://aisness.wordpress.com/2015/01/28/boyd-aleixo-psychology/

I think there probably would be more information on all this by now, or at least I certainly hope there would be, but at the time of writing Fade that was the sort of research that was available. 

Although, full disclosure, I don’t tend to write characters looking up the DSM symptoms for this or that; I write what feels right for them psychologically, mentally, emotionally, and oftentimes later look it up and realize they would have likely been diagnosed with this or that thing or they could be displaying traits of this or that.

At any rate, with Boyd, his trauma started early on, and pretty much everything about him is a reflection of that in some form. I don’t see trauma as specific to sexual assault; it’s most certainly a result of that but also of many other things. Boyd dealt with a lot of neglect and/or emotional abuse as a child, he was bullied by his peers, and generally speaking it was difficult for him to feel like he belonged anywhere. He was very often judged by others, often negatively, for things completely outside of his control, like his parents, their jobs, his home, the amount of money his family had, his looks, etc. 

If you look at the Mayo Clinic’s list of child abuse, Boyd falls pretty well under emotional abuse and a bit under neglect, and you can especially see the toll that had on his personality by reading the signs and symptoms of emotional abuse in particular:

Loss of self-confidence or self-esteem

Social withdrawal or a loss of interest or enthusiasm

Depression

Avoidance of certain situations, such as refusing to go to school or ride the bus

Desperately seeks affection

And general symptoms:

Withdrawal from friends or usual activities

Depression, anxiety or unusual fears, or a sudden loss of self-confidence

An apparent lack of supervision

Self-harm or attempts at suicide 

If you look at Complex PTSD, and in particular Developmental Trauma Disorder (DTD) you can see a lot of Hsin:

Attachment – “problems with relationship boundaries, lack of trust, social isolation, difficulty perceiving and responding to others’ emotional states”

Behavioural control – “problems with impulse control, aggression, pathological self-soothing, and sleep problems”

Dissociation – “amnesia, depersonalization, discrete states of consciousness with discrete memories, affect, and functioning, and impaired memory for state-based events”

I wouldn’t say Hsin dissociates quite that extensively but I feel like he does display some dissociative tendencies at times.

Boyd has some too, like

Self-concept – “fragmented and disconnected autobiographical narrative, disturbed body image, low self-esteem, excessive shame, and negative internal working models of self”.

I think in some ways you could argue they both display aspects of:

Affect or emotional regulation – “poor affect regulation, difficulty identifying and expressing emotions and internal states, and difficulties communicating needs, wants, and wishes”

When Boyd was little, he often wondered why other people were treated better than him - why, when he was getting perfect grades, he was going above and beyond whenever possible, when he was trying to be “a good boy” all the time, when he went out of his way to stay quiet and not bother anyone – why, despite all his attempts, other people were celebrate yet he was reviled, even if the people being celebrated were awful people doing awful things. He used to study other people relentlessly, trying to understand what it was about them that made them acceptable and what it was about him that made him not.

That’s why, despite being such an introvert, he’s good at blending in and going undercover; it’s why he can adjust to new situations and, in a way, act - because he always had to monitor and adjust himself his whole life just to feel seen and loved. His dad loved him on his own so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but with the trauma that came from the loss of his dad, and what happened with Lou, plus everything afterward, it really messed everything up.

Boyd was not a victim of childhood sexual abuse, but more of emotional abuse. Well, I guess, I should say for the most part he wasn’t.

Hsin was definitely a victim of childhood sexual abuse and probably physical abuse (that bit I can’t recall for sure). He was raped even as a small child, and that led into different aspects of his life. One reason, for example, he would go berserk and was seen by the Agency as unreliable in cases of him seeing sexual assault was because he saw, in some way, himself in those victims. It was probably his way of protecting people when he hadn’t been protected, himself. 

I can’t speak too much on Hsin’s specific mental health status or repercussions because I didn’t write him so I’m not fully in his mind, but I do know that sort of berserker aspect is part of what came from his sexual abuse and physical abuse and just generally how he grew up. If I recall correctly, a lot of that led into why he was so unstable and dangerous when Emilio first found him; why it took so long to get Hsin to find a way to deal with the violence and aggression and anger in him, in addition to everything else that would have happened regardless of that childhood trauma. Why, too, it was such a huge deal when Boyd was able to earn Hsin’s trust, because he had learned in his life to trust almost no one.

You can see some of the way they both display aspects of C-PTSD as adults as well in the list at https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder#Adults

I should be clear: I am NOT a psychiatrist or psychologist so I’m not suggesting that they would be specifically diagnosed with any of these disorders were they to get official diagnoses. However, the reason I bring it up is to show that a lot of the series reflects the way their coping mechanisms lead them to interact within themselves and with the outside world, all of which is often directly or indirectly tied to trauma.

Why is Boyd so terrified of anyone seeing him without his shirt in the beginning? Trauma. Why is he depressed? Trauma. Why is he suicidal? Trauma. Why does he go out of his way to avoid a certain block? Trauma. I would have to look at specific symptoms of different things but I would guess that you could also tie back some of his instability and his sometimes inconsistent reactions to trauma as well. Sometimes he does things or says things that may seem a bit reckless, or cold, or some other unexpected thing at that time - and a lot of times it’s probably in part related to how he learned to cope with things and what his levels of defensiveness are or his fears are at that moment. But he also has a complete inability to see the good in himself for a long time which also ties back, I would think, to some of the things he experienced growing up/previously.

Boyd is an incredibly unreliable narrator. He spends most of his narration thinking about how awful he is, how he should just die, how he isn’t doing a good enough job, and so forth. Yet, that fails to show the impact of some of his choices and decisions. Boyd was pretty much the first person to treat Hsin like a normal human being, to not see him as a surrogate of anything or anyone, to not have any ulterior motives or expectations of him (no matter how well-intentioned), and to truly gain his trust as a result. Yet, Boyd didn’t really see it that way. He didn’t see how important it was for Hsin that he ended up in his life; he didn’t get why Hsin was exasperated the times Boyd said he (Boyd) should just die, that there was no value to his life. He didn’t believe he could be loved so he couldn’t see it was even a possibility at first. Therefore, he spends a lot of his narration over the series belittling himself and downplaying any of his own achievements while simultaneously rewarding or acknowledging what others around him are doing. Not every moment of his narration, of course, but his default state of self is to think he sucks and others are probably better.

Conversely, Hsin is a confident narrator. He often doesn’t doubt himself, doesn’t care what other people think, and is very sure of himself in a lot of aspects like his physical prowess which, itself, is already above and beyond nearly everyone else. Yet he also learned not to trust or rely on anyone else in his life, so he’s incredibly suspicious of others because that’s how he had to learn to be. So, especially in the beginning of the series, in his narration he tends to be very factual about his own achievements and not shy away from acknowledging the things that are powerful about him (even if he doesn’t always see it as anything that special), while simultaneously seeking out anything untrustworthy, unreliable, incompetent, or unworthy about those around him. His narration tends to point out the flaws of those around him because he learned that if he doesn’t protect himself, he’s vulnerable, and when he’s vulnerable he gets hurt.

The result of that is, if you read their narrations straight as if it’s all perfectly reliable, Boyd seems even more unreliable and Hsin seems even more perfect than they actually are, because their default states of being overlap in a manner which magnifies the flaws in Boyd and the merits in Hsin. 

Both of them learned to be how they were because of how they were raised, what they went through, and more. Same as how they react to various things throughout the series.

I can’t more specifically comment on anything without knowing what in particular you were thinking of when commenting in the ask about trauma and sexual abuse. But I think generally speaking, they already start the series having learned coping mechanisms that work for them based on trauma they already individually experienced. Those coping mechanisms end up oftentimes being challenged and at times destroyed or reworked throughout the course of the series. That is what leads to a lot of their ups and downs as individuals and as a couple; why their story isn’t a straight arc going up but instead derails a lot. And why they both spend the entirety of the series coming to terms with who they are both internally and externally, and what that means for their relationship, and how they can find a way to grow as a person and a significant other. They both ultimately have to work on trust; Boyd has to learn to trust himself, Hsin has to learn to trust others, and they have to learn to trust each other.

The way people deal with trauma is not the same for everyone. Sexual abuse doesn’t result in the same reaction for all people. I’m not sure if maybe one of the things you were thinking is maybe about sexual abuse during the series itself? I already linked something that goes more in depth on Fade so I won’t touch on that book, and I really can’t speak for Hsin because he isn’t my character so I don’t want to misrepresent his thought process as hidden behind narration or actions at different points.

The only other thing I can think of that maybe you’re thinking about is Boyd’s valentine status, and how he doesn’t seem to have overtly strong reactions to anything until Fade. If that’s one aspect of what you were thinking about, part of that is just how Boyd deals with things. He tends to avoid things that are difficult for him or he has difficulty focusing on, and oftentimes shuts down emotionally. 

I think honestly he probably dissociated to some extent during a lot of things; kind of separated his body from his mind and felt like whatever happened, happened. For a lot of the time that he was a valentine early on, he had such little love for himself that regardless of how upsetting anything was, how little he wanted to do certain things, he felt on some level like he deserved it. Some things were probably a subconscious form of self-punishment for being born, for being who he is, for surviving when Lou didn’t, for surviving when his dad didn’t, for never being enough for his mother, for just plain existing. Then as time went on he grew to rely on Hsin and find strength in him. It’s also not like every mission he had was a valentine one, or even that every valentine has to end in anything physical. 

That’s why he was able to find ways of dealing with things in some form, even if he didn’t like it or was uncomfortable at times, until the Aleixo mission. He thought he knew how to handle things; he thought he had found apt coping mechanisms. But that mission tore that all apart and nearly destroyed him. His coping mechanisms didn’t work the way they had and now he had to find a new way to survive, and from there came a lot of his instability and more that you see in Fade and as I mention in that blog post.

But in short, I feel like the majority of the series ends up touching, indirectly or directly, on some form of trauma as experienced currently or in the past by one or more of the main characters, and their resulting actions then drive the plot. That is one thing we were very specific about doing: having the plot adjust to the characters rather than force the characters to adjust to the plot. That’s why Afterimage exists, actually; the original plan was sort of like 3/4 of Evenfall and then kind of jumping into aspects of Fade. But we realized at the end of Evenfall that certain things would occur which would then lead to Afterimage and Afterimage then led into aspects of Interludes, which then led into aspects of right before Fade, which then affected a huge part of Fade itself, which then informed 1/27. We didn’t set out to write a series specifically about trauma, it’s just sort of one of those things that happens if you take two characters who have been treated so cruelly or poorly for so much of their lives, and put them together as any sort of team - but especially a team that becomes a couple, and a couple that becomes all but married.

+ +

Regarding the other stuff, I haven’t had a chance yet to check if you answered my question about the hetero relationship comment, so I can’t comment on that until I know more of what you mean. But I would say that generally speaking, I don’t know that I believe it’s necessarily fair to label anything as strictly “hetero” vs “m/m” vs anything else for a relationship. That brings with it a lot of assumptions of what it means to be not only gay or LGBTQIA+, but also straight. It seems to suggest there is only a single way or a very strict set of ways for a cis male and a cis female to be together both in a relationship and to have sex, and I guess I don’t feel like that’s necessarily reflective of reality. People are very complex and so are their relationships, as well as their sex lives.

I’m not sure how specifically the series ended up hurting you but I’m very sorry you felt hurt by anything. That’s a terrible feeling to have to experience. I hope that in whatever way, however it may work best for you, you have the time and space to reflect and recover and rejuvenate. You, like everyone, deserve it.

And honestly, if that means you have to leave the series completely in your past, never to think about it again, if that’s what’s healthiest for you, I truly wish you are able to do so. Stories are there to connect with other people, to share our thoughts and sometimes help us work our way through our own while reading. No story is worth your mental health being put in question. If it is truly upsetting to you to think about the series, it is absolutely not worth your energy. You are more important than a story will ever be. Everyone is. And I say that despite how much I love and rely on stories to get me through life.

If part of your duress is you like aspects of the writing style but the series itself and its contents upset you, you could try reading some other stuff. I have some things I wrote solo that you can find on my AO3 if you want. But also you can find other writers entirely. Depending on what you’re looking for in a story, and the sort of topics you’ve learned work well for you or don’t work well for you, you should be able to find a ton of great series out there and great authors out there who will leave you with the happier aspects of your reaction to ICoS without anything more detrimental like it sounds happened for you with ICoS.

Regardless, I truly wish you the very best. As I said in the other one, please stay healthy and safe! And, if you’re in a place to manage it, stay happy as well :)

Brightest of blessings to you and yours, my friend!

[zutaralesbian]

I'm greedy... all the questions for the ask meme

I’m sorry that this took so freaking long. Between thinking about my answers, work, school, and my laptop getting pased around, it’s been hard to get it done lol. But thanks so much! 

I answered 6, 11, 25 here: http://lukesandwalker.tumblr.com/post/173277826118/6-11-25

And 30 here: http://lukesandwalker.tumblr.com/post/173275820343/i-would-like-30-please-because-i-live-to-see

But here’s the rest of them:

1: Top 3 heroes/protagonists

To narrow it down a little, i’m going to consider this as meaning MAIN protagonists.

Luke Skywalker (Star Wars) (Surprise surprise) I’ve already gushed so much about why I love Luke so i’ll keep it short this time. But I love that he’s a male lead in a science fiction movie series heavily geared towards dudebros that defies so many of the toxic tropes that usually come with male leads in that genre. Luke’s journey is about refusing to succumb to the darkness even while people from both sides of the conflict are urging him to do so. And he ultimately wins via compassion and his belief of inherent goodness. He’s a male lead that’s ultimately led by his heart, which is so refreshing. I remember being so surprised by how much I loved him the first time I finally sat down and watched Star Wars.

Buffy Summers (Buffy: The Vampire Slayer) Buffy was one of the first female protagonists of a TV like BTVS that I was ever fully invested in and she was a good place to start. Buffy doesn’t fall into the typical trope of being emotion-free or hateful towards other women like so many people believe a “badass” female character like her needs to be. Buffy loves and cares about her friends and family and even craves romance, and none of that detracts from the fact that she’s also the slayer and kicks ass. She’ll always be one of my role models.

James Flint (Black Sails) I’ll admit that calling Flint a hero is a stretch since…he’s done some bad things, but I couldn’t not include him in this. He’s such a rarity…I don’t know of any other lead protagonists that are like him. The writers could have easily made him the typical straight douchebag that are usually in shows like this (a la Jax Teller). But instead, he’s a gay man with a lot of righteous anger towards the world for the unfairness of homophobic society. And he’s NOT ashamed of being gay! One of his most iconic speeches is about refusing to apologize to England because in his mind, he did nothing wrong. And he has multiple profound relationships with women that do not boil down to him wanting to fuck them and are actually filled with respect. I just….James Flint man. I could talk about him all day.

Honorable mention to Harry James Potter, who I love a lot as well.

2: Top 3 villains/antagonists

Azula (Avatar: The Last Airbender) One of the most complex and well written female villains ever. She’s never redeemed, but she was still given enough genuine qualities and backstory to feel sympathy for her. But at the same time….she’s also just really twisted and awful at times. “Don’t flatter yourself. You were never even a player.” How iconic??? (Also, the reason Zuko is not on this list is because I don’t really consider him a villain. At least not in the classic sense).

Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars) He scares the shit out of me and actually has enough of a story and background to be interesting. Kylo Ren who?

Cersei Lannister (ASOIAF/GOT) Such an evil bitch….but once in a while, I find myself rooting for her lol. She’s the only typical villain that I really love in ASOIAF though.

3: Top 3 supporting characters

(Oh god….in no particular order. And i’m not even 100% sure of these answers lol. And for this, i’m assuming they just mean not the #1 main character.)

Bonnie Bennett (The Vampire Diaries)  I don’t talk about her much anymore because i’m pretty much over TVD but she was the first character I ever stanned in a typical fandom way and therefor will always have a special place in my heart. I’ll be forever angry about how that demon show treated her.

Sansa Stark (ASOIAF/GOT) I’m not sure who would be considered the main character of ASOIAF. (I think Ned might have been the main character in the first book but after that….idk) but i’m going to go on a limb and assume that Sansa would be considered a supporting character lol. I love my survivor wolf daughter who is underestimated but manages to outsmart everyone.

Max (Black Sails) I pretty much love all of the female characters in Black Sails but Max would have to be #1 for me. (Although Eleanor is a veeeeeery close second. And sometimes they’re tied). I love how much of an enigma of a character she is. She’s manipulative but also one of the most genuinely compassionate characters on the show. And she has one of the most profound overall arcs on the show imo. Also….a lesbian icon.

Honorable mentions: Eleanor Guthrie (Black Sails), Tara Knowles (SOA), Arya Stark (GOT/ASOIAF), Michonne (TWD), Faith Lehane (BTVS), Leia Organa (Star Wars)

4: Top 3 background characters or side characters (Skipping this one because I honestly have no clue what to put lol)

5: Top 3 romantic relationships between characters

(So….i’m only going to include relationships that are already explicitly romantic in canon. So that excludes ships like Zutara, Bamon, and Fuffy).

Max & Anne (Black Sails) My tender pirate lesbians. I love them so much

Chloe & Max (Life is Strange) The childhood best friends to lovers trope. They’ll literally go to the ends of the earth for each other.

Ian & Mickey (Shameless) Siiiiiiigggggghhhhs. I hate Shameless.

7: Top 3 fictional families

The Starks (ASOIAF/GOT) It’s a hard life being a Stark stan but…I really do love my tragic wolf family so much. And I only hope that the surviving members of it can one day find some semblance of peace.

The Skywalkers Obviously not a traditional family, but I love my trashy dramatic space family. And i’ll forever hate Disney for killing them. No Star Wars without Skywalkers imo.

The Weasleys (Harry Potter) Weasley stan forever and always. They took Harry under their wing as much as they were allowed to and probably would have adopted him if Dumbledore had let them. And they did all that even though they weren’t well off themselves.

8: Top 3 fictional parents

Ned & Catelyn Stark (ASOIAF/GOT)  (Although if i’m being honest, mainly just Catelyn lol.)

Stef & Lena Adams-Foster (The Fosters) My beautiful lesbian moms

Jack & Emily Spier (Love, Simon) Going by the movie and not the book. But they were lovely

9: Top 3 fictional siblings

Luke & Leia (Star Wars) My beautiful space twins who absolutely adore each other

The Starklings (ASOIAF/GOT) And this includes several different combinations. Arya/Jon, Sansa/Arya, Sansa/Jon, Robb/Jon, Robb/Bran, ect.

The Gallagher siblings (Shameless): They’re trashy and downright awful to each other sometimes but…I still get the feels. My favorite pairs are Fiona/Lip, Ian/Lip, and Fiona/Carl.

Honorable mention to Damon/Stefan from TVD (Trash, trash, trash but still….feelings). And once upon a time Bellamy/Octavia would be on this list if I hadn’t stopped caring about The 100 lol.

10: Top 3 child characters

(I’m going to define this as meaning really little kids, not teenagers)

Lilo (Lilo & Stitch)

Rickon Stark (ASOIAF)

Boo (Monster’s Inc)

(I feel like I cheated my having 2/3 of them being Disney characters but…I don’t have a lot of child faves)

12: Top 3 fictional animals/pets

Appa & Momo (Avatar: The Last Airbender) (They’re both pretty prominent and sort of go together so i’m counting them as one.)

Hedwig (Harry Potter) (RIP :( )

Ghost (ASOIAF/GOT) (Along with all of the direwolves tbh. Where is Ghost @GoT?????)

13: Top 3 fictional locations

Hogwarts (There are sooo many HP answers in this, I know. Even though I don’t like J.K R*wling anymore, I can’t erase the years i’ve spent loving this series).

Ba Sing Se (Avatar: The Last Airbender) (Not so much because of the location itself but because some of the best and most intense episodes of ATLA took place in that location).

Winterfell (ASOIAF/GOT) (The origins of my wolf family :( Although….my love for it probably stems more from the books now.)

14: Top 3 fictional gadgets/devices

The Skywalker Lightsaber (Star Wars) (RIP…..I hate Disney/Lucasfilm)

The Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) (Not really a device or gadget since it’s a space ship but….i’m going to go ahead and count it anyway.)

The Marauder’s Map (Harry Potter)

15: Top 3 character backstories

James Flint (Black Sails): I will never get over the fact that not only did they make their lead character on a violent TV show like this gay, but that they also made a lot of his motivations revolve around his sexuality and the loss of a man that he was in love with. Sometimes I wish I went into this show completely blind because the “Flint and Thomas reveal were in love” reveal would have hurt and shocked me in the best way. It’s one of the biggest reasons why Black Sails is one of my favorite shows despite the issues I do have with it.

Zuko (ATLA): His backstory is really sad but his character wouldn’t have been the same without it. The two prominent episodes that showed his backstory (The Storm and Zuko Alone) are both in my top 5 ATLA episodes. It also makes his eventual happy ending seem even more rewarding.

Severus Snape (Harry Potter): I’m not a Snape apologist but i’d be lying if I said that the reveal that he was a double agent against Voldemort the entire series didn’t fuck me up for months after I finished reading Deathly Hallows lol. I did not see it coming, I was so shocked.

16: Top 3 characters who die

Eleanor Guthrie (Black Sails) Sometimes I legit have to pretend that she didn’t die in order to fully enjoy my Black Sails experience tbh. My biconic queen deserved so much better :( I’ll die mad about it.

Poussey Washington (OITNB): Her death was the final nail in the coffin of me caring about that show. They killed her off when she was finally getting some semblance of happiness :(

Tara Knowles (Sons of Anarchy): All she wanted to do was protect her sons and she was rewarded for it by being brutally murdered by Gemma and being taken for granted by Jax for seasons. FOREVER BITTER

17: Top 3 non-human characters

Ahsoka Tano (Star Wars: The Clone Wars/Rebels)

Katherine Pierce (TVD)

Rebekah Mikaelson (TVD/TO)

(Lol I feel sort of wrong for including any TVD characters that aren’t Bonnie Bennett since….I really don’t care about the majority of it anymore. But once upon a time I did love Katherine and Rebekah.

18: Top 3 fictional worlds/universes

The Avatar Universe/Four nations (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

The Wizarding World (Harry Potter)

The Star Wars universe (IDK what else it’d be called lol)

19: Top 3 animated series

Avatar: The Last Airbender: I’ve loved this show since I was a kid and still love it immensely. Such a good show with a great plot and amazingly developed characters. The only thing that sucks about it is the majority of the canon romances lol)

Star Wars: The Clone Wars: I’m not a prequel hater but….this show had soooo much better writing in terms of developing Anakin’s character. Also….Ahsoka Tano! And the tragic friendship between the two of them will forever make me emo.

And I think the third would just be comprised of some of the cartoons I liked as a kid. Hey Arnold!, Rugrats, Kim Possible, American Dragon, Spongebob, The Wild Thornberries, and ect.

20: Top 3 live-action series

Black Sails

Buffy: The Vampire Slayer

How I Met Your Mother (even though that god awful finale ruined it for me for a long time)

21: Top 3 animated movies

(Ooooooh boy. The only one i’m 100% sure of it the first one. And yes, I know i’m cliche for it lol)

The Lion King (Disney)

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (Dreamworks) This movie is sooooo underrated

Anastasia (Idk the studio that made it…but I know it’s a Don Bluth movie)

22. Top 3 live-action movies

(Again, not completely sure of my answers here….there are a lot of movies that I love)

Love, Simon God this movie was so gpoy

The Parent Trap (1998)

Juno

23: Top 3 books

The Harry Potter series by J.K Rowling: Siiiiiiiggghhs

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

The Abyss Surrounds Us by Emily Skrutskie Evvvvvveeerrryone should read this book! It has such a good f/f slow-burn romance.

Honorable mentions: The Storyteller by Jodi Piccoult, The Darkest Powers series by Kelly Armstrong, The Outsiders by S.E Hinton, A Song of Ice and Fire series by G.R.R Martin

24: Top 3 comics/webcomics

Top 3 obscure series/movies/books I recommend

Idk I don’t think I have any answers for this one either? Most of the stuff i’m really into is at least kind of known.

27: Top 3 musicals or plays

The only musical i’ve seen in person so far has been The Lion King. But it was fantastic. I also watched all of the A Very Potter Musical plays on YouTube if that counts.

28: Top 3 songs from musicals

I’m going to go by musical movies for some of these.

Breaking Free (High School Musical) (Lol)

Summer Nights (Grease)

Defying Gravity (Wicked) (This one is actually from a musical. I listened to it on YouTube and loved it).

29: Top 3 funny moments in fiction

1.That scene in Prisoner of Azkaban when Ron used a phone for the first time to call Harry over the summer and ended up screaming into the phone when Vernon answered it lol. (Harry Potter)

2. Katara: You’ve been hallucinating on cactus juice all day, and now you lick something you find stuck to a wall of a cave?!

Sokka: I have a natural curiosity (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

3. All of the Catherine and Henry scenes in that one episode of Regin when Henry accidentally killed that noble lady and they were trying to cover it up. (Reign)

31: Top 3 heartwarming moments in fiction

1. Sansa and Jon’s reunion (Game of Thrones)

The only good Stark reunion on the show so far (Sansa and Arya were cute until they ruined it with that bullshit storyline). It has everything. The slow approach after they first see each other, the initial shock slowly melting away as they leap into a hug, all while the Stark theme plays in the background. I have hopes that all the Starks will get better reunions in the books but until then….I truly do love this scene.

2. Zuko and Iroh’s reunion (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

This scene makes me emotional….pretty much every time I watch it. Zuko approaches Iroh cautiously out of a shame for his betrayal of him and because he’s positive that Iroh is going to be furious with him and reluctant to forgive. But then he doesn’t even have to fully finish his apology before Iroh is pulling him into a hug. It’s the unconditional love that he never got from his biological father.

3. Flint and Thomas’ reunion (Black Sails)

The fact that the very last shot of James Flint was him reuniting with the man he loved after ten years of believing him to be dead is something that I will never forget. 

(I realize that all of these moments are reunions but….ohhhh well.)

32: Top 3 scary moments in fiction

I can’t really think of too many scary moments because I don’t watch a lot of horror stuff. I’m sure if I thought deeply about it I could come up with stuff from shows like The Walking Dead or Hemlock Grove but since it’s been so long since i’ve watched either of those shows, my mind is coming up blank.

But I will say…that scene where Matilda and Miss Honey were trying to escape Trunchbull’s house always used to scare me as a kid lol.

33: Top 3 awesome moments in fiction

(Another one where i’m very unsure of my answers because there are a lot of awesome moments in fiction that I love. But i’m just going to list the ones that come to mind first.)

1. Zuko leaves the Fire Nation and tells off Ozai (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

For so long, all I wanted was for you to love me, to accept me. I thought it was my honor I wanted, but really, I was just trying to please you. You, my father, who banished me just for talking out of turn. My father, who challenged me, a thirteen-year-old boy, to an Agni Kai. How could you possibly justify a duel with a child?

The scene goes on longer than that but i’m not going to post the full transcript for the sake of not making it insanely long. But I loved it because it was a full display of how far Zuko had come in his character development. And he finally, after almost the full duration of the series, came to fully understand that his abuse wasn’t his fault. And got to fully confront his abuser. I just…this scene is so important. 

2. Max’s speech to Anne in 4x08 (Black Sails) 

I remember when I first met Eleanor, how stunned I was. A woman who spoke the way she did, who had no fear of the world or the men who reigned over it.mWhen I became her lover, I watched the decisions she made and resolved to learn from them. When I became her rival, I watched the mistakes she made and resolved never to repeat them. But at the end, when I felt I had surpassed her in every way, it seemed as though there was something she was still trying to say to me. Surrendering everything she had sacrificed so dearly for, because it would have come at the expense of the one she loved. She was trying to tell me, I just could not hear her, about what is truly important. I said no to Marion Guthrie’s plan, despite having no alternative and at the risk of losing the entire endeavor, because I refuse to situate a man in a position where he might interfere one day with my ability to repair things with you.  You are the bravest person I have ever known. The truest person I have ever known. And I betrayed you and it sickens me. I’m so sorry for trying so hard to protect the wrong things. For failing to see that there is nothing important that does not include you.

I’ll always be upset that Eleanor died and that this was the last Maxanne scenes of the series (side-eyes the finale) but I will forever love this scene because it represents so much about what I love about the Maxanne and Maxanor relationships. The fact that Max, a lesbian character, had her arc and development throughout the show so beautifully shaped by her relationships with two women (both of whom were her lovers at some point) will forever make me emotional. 

3. Luke refuses to fall to the dark side (Star Wars)

Never. I’ll never turn to the Dark Side. You have failed, Your Highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me.

I’ve already talked at length about why I love this scene so I won’t go into it too much. But it represents everything I love about Luke’s character. The ending of his journey is not the typical violent fest that most male protagonists in this genre end with it, it’s refusing to fall into the same trap that Palpatine had lured Anakin into years before. I just…freaking love Luke Skywalker. 

[bungou-stray-dogs-indulgences]

May I request HCs for Chuuya, Tachihara, Mori and Dazai with an s/o who's an idol (similar to AKB48) (my love live ass needs this tbh I'm so sorry)

I don’t know that much about idols and the surrounding stuff but I did my best♡

Nakahara Chuuya

Forget any dance coach or any of your other group members; your best practice happens when Chuuya’s the one guiding you through routines. Even if he doesn’t know the ins-and-outs of your dances, if you’re uncomfortable with a move, he zeroes in on that immediately. “You’re doing great,” he assures when you ask for advice, “but you need to work on these bits here.” If he can wrap his head around how the move’s supposed to go, Chuuya does it, walking you through the motions. If not, he simply makes a mental list of what you need to work on with your dance coach. Consulting him is the perfect solution when your routines need a bit of fine-tuning.

Fuck group transportation; Chuuya ensures that when you’re on the road, you’re kicking it in one of the most spacious limos or private jets money can buy. Naturally, if you want to travel with the other members, he lets you, but in case you just need your own space he ensures privacy is always an option. Chuuya makes sure your personal transportation is always well-stocked with everything from your favorite foods to entertainment systems with a built in wifi hotspot to a few changes of clothes. Chuuya knows first hand how much road trips can suck, and he’ll be damned if you’re anything less than in the lap of luxury. 

Since your busy schedules mean that you’re away from each other a lot, Chuuya ensures every date you have is absolutely private. No matter how many strings he has to pull to make sure you’re not mobbed by paparazzi the second you pull up to his house, he’ll do it; no one’s going to risk the Mafia’s wrath just to catch a blurry picture of you. Often, he rents out an entire building if you want to have a date there; the last thing you need is crazed fans ruining the moment by screaming “Oh my god it’s ______!!!” just as Chuuya’s leaning in for a kiss.

Tachihara Michizou

No matter how embarrassing a piece of merchandise might be, Tachihara unashamedly buys it. He has every single officially licensed t-shirt, poster, key chain, album, etc. that exists scattered somewhere around his house (for a while he considered putting it all together to make a shrine for his awesome idol girlfriend but then rightly decided that was bordering on serial killer territory and decided not to). He has some random merchandise from promotions your group did for different companies, too; his favorite is the shower curtain with you on it. “This way you can take showers with me even when you’re away,” he points out. No matter how embarrassed you are he refuses to change it.

Despite the fact that being so public with your relationship isn’t a great idea, especially considering he’s in the Port Mafia, Tachihara shamelessly uses your relationship to gain a gigantic following on social media. Don’t trust him when he’s aiming his phone camera at you for a ‘cute selfie’ or ‘candid shot for his phone lock screen’ because the image is probably going to end up on Instagram with some cheesy caption about how you’re his whole world. Anyone that posts a negative comment immediately gets blocked; depending on how bad his mood is, they may or may not end getting shot in the kneecap in a back alley.

Tachihara knows every single bodyguard that’s ever worked within a two mile radius of you. Somehow he got it into his head that all security guards are raging creepy pervs and they’re just lying in wait to steal away his precious love; naturally, the logical response was to start stalking all of them ‘just in case’. He’s actually straight up punched a few because he thought they were staring at your chest. Regardless if Tachihara’s gotten in a fist fight with them or not, he’s got beef with every last one of your bodyguards. 

Mori Ougai

One of Mori’s favorite things about the whole situation is your cuteness; sure, he knows a lot of makeup and contact lenses and not even remotely practical clothing go into creating the perfect, adorable idol persona, but he can still appreciate your look. Some of his favorite pictures of you are images of you performing onstage, dancing in all your glamorous glory; he has a few photos of you in one your idol outfits framed in his office.

Not long after Mori brings Elise to see one of your concerts, the girl develops a bit of an obsession with the idol scene, something Mori’s endlessly pleased about. Of course, you’re her favorite idol (Mori wouldn’t have it any other way, of course). Elise’s passion for you absolutely melts his heart; naturally, he ends up feeding it a bit too much. Before long, replicas of your performing gear line her closet and she has way more than a reasonable amount of your merchandise. When you ask Mori why he’s letting her go a bit wild when it comes to adoring you, he simply puts on a sweet smile and shrugs; it’s almost like he’s using her as an outlet to show how much he adores you.

Appearing as your lover in the public eye is an absolutely horrible idea; who knows how many people would be hunting you and your group members down if they knew you crawled in bed next to Mori every night? Even if he can’t publicly show off you relationship, he certainly does it in private. Mori often subtly (and not-so-subtly) references your idol status while chatting with his subordinates or in meetings. He’s endlessly proud of your talent and fame, and he’s not afraid to sing your praises at every opportunity.

Dazai Osamu

Without exception, Dazai shows up to every single performance sporting a T-shirt with your name on it under his coat and a gigantic sign reading ‘________ is the best one’, followed by a ton of exclamation points and scribbled hearts. He claims a spot in the front row (he’s your boyfriend after all; scoring prime tickets is a breeze) and screams how much he loves you the whole time, usually in the most high-pitched, annoying voice he can manage. Dazai claims to be mocking your crazed superfans if you call him out on his wild behavior, but honestly, he might just be one. If it bothers you, he’ll tone it down a few notches; he still brings the sign every time, though.

After downing a few shots before coming to one of your performances Dazai decided that throwing a pair of panties onstage would be a hilarious way to imitate the fanatics. The only underwear he could find was yours, though. Naturally, noticing your favorite panties hurtling at your ankles while you’re finishing up a song isn’t the best way to end a show. You never did find that underwear again, after that.

This is the same performance that he ripped his shirt off and begged you to sign his chest. The only reason he wasn’t escorted out is because the security guards recognized him as your boyfriend.

Dazai always scores backstage passes and chills with you and the rest of the group before and after performances. He always brings your favorite snack—not too much, of course, he doesn’t want your stomach upset onstage— and cuddles with you to calm your nerves. Sometimes, if you have enough time before you have to go on stage, he sneaks an Xbox in and lets you kick his ass in a few games (of course he claims you’re cheating when you win) to squash the stage fright.

One of Dazai’s favorite pastimes is trolling shady people from social media. If he’s bored, the first place he turns to is Instagram comments. Anyone that posts a hateful comment immediately becomes victim to Dazai’s ire; he messes with them mercilessly, commenting on all their photos, their friend’s photos, especially their significant other’s photos, until they’re on the verge of deleting their account. Once in awhile he loves to leave completely inappropriate comments on your posts, just to see if you use the official page to respond.