#lolololol in your fucking ass

[jaikoyaki]

WIPED OUT! (Hold still.)

//Skater!Minji x Reader//oneshot/sneakpeek//

WORDCOUNT✮ 🛹⊹ 1.8k

WARNINGS ✮🛹⊹܀⭑ Injuries/Graphic Descriptions, Blood, Ex-relationship

TAGS ✮🛹⊹܀⭑ Hurt/Comfort, Med Student!Y/N, Skater!Minji, minji is your ex,

SYPNOSIS ✮🛹⊹܀⭑ You open the door to your ex, and for a moment, you hesitate. Her messy hair, blood pooled on her knees, and countless scratches tell you everything you need to know. But it’s her eyes—those eyes—that stop you from shutting the door.

NOTE✮ 🛹⊹܀⭑ This is just a little teaser for the actual oneshot lolololol

-Crawling back to you.

Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?

'Cause I always do.

She’d done this trick a hundred times before. A heelflip down the ramp—easy, in theory. But tonight, she wanted to record it, perfect it, land it clean.

Minji sucked in a breath, shaking out her hands before bending her knees over the deck of her skateboard. The streetlights buzzed softly in the empty skatepark, casting long shadows over the concrete ramps. Her phone, propped up on a makeshift stand, blinked with its last few percent of battery. 

One more try. Just one more.

She pushed off, rolling toward the incline. Pop the board. Flick. Catch. Land. She repeated the steps in her head like a mantra, muscles tensing in anticipation. As she reached the edge of the ramp, she crouched, snapped the tail of her board down, flicked, and sent it spinning beneath her feet.

And for a second, it felt right.

Until it didn’t.

The moment the back wheels hit the concrete—

crack.

A sickening jolt.

The bearings gave out.

Her skateboard shot out from under her like a bullet, and before she could brace herself, her body twisted midair. She didn’t fall properly. Couldn’t tuck, couldn’t roll.

Her wrist smacked against the pavement first. A sharp, searing pain shot through her arm, followed by a rough scrape of asphalt against her skin as she skidded across the ground. The impact rattled her ribs, knocked the air from her lungs, and left her lying flat on her back, staring up at the night sky.

"Shit—” she hissed, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to move. Her wrist screamed in protest, her knee was wet with blood, and when she flexed her ankle, a sharp, burning ache shot up her leg. Not good.

Gritting her teeth, she forced herself up, groaning at the sting in her scraped palms. She staggered toward her phone, each step sending fresh spikes of pain through her leg. When she finally grabbed it and tapped the screen—

Black.

Dead.

Fuck.

Her head tipped back with a groan. Perfect.

She looked around the park. Empty. Not a single person around.

Limping back toward her board, she bent down to check it—

Sure enough, the bearings were completely shot. The wheels hung loose on the trucks, useless.

She couldn’t skate home. Couldn’t walk properly. No extra bearings, no tools, no working phone.

Great.

She was actually going to bleed out in this damn skatepark.

Her eyes flicked toward the row of houses just beyond the fence. The closest one—the one she knew all too well—made her stomach twist.

She inhaled sharply.

This was a terrible idea.

But between knocking on that door or passing out on cold concrete…

Yeah.

With a frustrated sigh, she muttered, “This is gonna suck.”

And then, gritting her teeth, she limped toward the last place she ever wanted to go.

___________________________________

The glow of your desk lamp barely softened the ache behind your eyes. Your laptop screen flickered with the same dense paragraphs you’d been staring at for the past hour, words blurring together in an exhausting mix of anatomy terms and pharmacology notes.

You exhaled, rubbing your temples. Med school was kicking your ass, but at this point, suffering through it had become second nature. You just needed to power through—just a few more pages, just a few more—

Ding-dong.

Your head snapped up.

The doorbell? At this hour?

You checked the time on your phone—past midnight.

Frowning, you pushed back your chair. Your family was asleep, and you sure as hell weren’t expecting anyone. A part of you considered ignoring it, but then the bell rang again, more urgent this time.

Weird.

Rolling your shoulders, you stood up and made your way to the door, flipping on the porch light before cautiously pulling it open.

And the sight on the other side nearly made you choke.

Minji.

Your ex.

Leaning against the doorframe, clutching her wrist, leg smeared with blood, looking one breath away from collapsing.

"Hey…im sorry. I didn’t know where else to go."

Your mouth opened, but no words came out.

Your brain lagged, stuck between shock and something dangerously close to concern. The first thing that finally slipped out was,

"You’re bleeding."

Dumb. Obvious. But it was all you could process.

Minji let out a breathless, half-laugh. “Yeah. Noticed that.”

She shifted on her feet and winced. “Look, can you—can you patch me up real quick? I swear I’ll be out of your hair after. Just… wiped out on my board, can’t really walk, my phone’s dead, and you were the closest—”

"Jesus, stop rambling," you muttered, already stepping aside. "Get in before you bleed out on my porch."

She hesitated, just for a second. Then, with a quiet nod, she limped past you, the scent of asphalt and sweat trailing in her wake.

This was a bad idea.

But you were already shutting the door.

___________________________________________________________________________

The first aid kit sat open on the coffee table, the familiar mess of gauze and antiseptic wipes spread out like an old routine.

"Why do you always do this to yourself?"

Minji didn’t answer, too focused on chewing the carp bread you’d shoved into her hand earlier. She sat slouched on the couch, one leg stretched out, the other bent awkwardly to keep her bloody knee from pressing against the cushions.

You kneeled in front of her, rolling up the hem of her jorts. The moment you got a clear look at the mess underneath, you grimaced.

"You’ve torn off like, two layers of skin."

Still, nothing from her.

You glanced up. "What, did the crash make you mute too?"

Minji barely blinked. Then, as if she had been waiting for it, she swallowed her bite and said,

"I missed your nagging."

A few seconds of silence.

Something in your chest twisted.

You gulped. "...Yeah, well, you’re gonna miss your leg if this gets infected. Hold still."

You focused on your hands, not on the way she was watching you.

"This is gonna sting," you warn, gripping Minji’s knee lightly to keep it steady.

"I’ve had worse."

You press the wipe against the scraped skin. She hisses through her teeth, legs tensing.

"Yeah?" you ask, wiping more thoroughly.

"Okay—ow, ow, I get it, you’re evil," she mutters, flinching slightly.

You roll your eyes and keep working, making sure to clean out any dirt or debris from the scrape.

_____________________________________

Once the wounds were clean, you reached into the kit and pulled out a handful of bandages. Not the boring beige ones—no, the colorful, ridiculously patterned ones you always kept around. The ones with cartoon sharks, rainbow stripes, and neon smiley faces.

Minji blinked. “You still have these?”

You sighed, peeling one open. “Of course, I do. You always whined when I used the plain ones.”

Minji huffed out a laugh. “because they’re way better.”

You pressed a bandage over her scraped left knee—bright blue with little dinosaurs. Then another, pink with tiny hearts.

____________________________________________________

"Hold this," you say, pressing Minji’s hand over the gauze to stop the bleeding

Your fingers brushed. Just for a second. Barely anything.

And yet, a flicker of something ran down your spine, something you shoved away the second it sparked.

"Am I gonna lose the leg, doc?" she asks,. snickering

"Tragic, really," you deadpan. "Guess I’ll have to amputate."

She snorts but keeps the pressure on.

_______________________________________

After that, you turned your attention to her wrist.

"Okay, now let me see your arm."

She hesitated.

"Minji."

Reluctantly, she lifted it. The skin was already swelling, an angry shade of red and purple.

"Jesus. Did you land on it?"

"maybe..?"

You lightly pressed around the area, checking for any obvious fractures. "Does this hurt?"

"Not really."

You pressed a little higher.

Minji flinched. "Okay, yeah. That hurts."

"hmm…Move your fingers," you instruct, watching her flex them.

She does, but winces.

"It’s probably just a sprain," you muttered, reaching for an elastic bandage. You carefully wrapped it around her wrist, not too tight, but firm enough for support. "Keep this on for a couple of days. And don’t use your hand too much."

Minji raised an eyebrow. "How am I supposed to do that?" "

"Figure it out," you deadpanned, turning away to put the kit back.

It was an excuse to turn your back. To put some space between you. To stop looking at her.

You wanted her gone.

Didn’t you?

____________________________________

You fully expected Minji to take the hint. To struggle to her feet, make some snarky remark, and limp her way out the door.

Instead, when you glanced back, she was still there, picking at the edge of her bandage like she had all the time in the world.

"You’re done. You can leave now."

Minji hummed, leaning back into the couch. "Yeah… about that."

You narrowed your eyes.

"I kinda—can’t walk properly," she said, lifting her leg slightly, wiggling her foot in demonstration. "Still hurts, you know? Might take a while before I can uh leave”

You crossed your arms. "You got here just fine."

"I got here limping plus adrenaline’s a hell of a thing," she shot back. "Wore off the second you wrapped me up"

You exhaled through your nose, tilting your head toward the door. "Minji."

"Y/N."

Silence. A stare-off.

Then, she sighed dramatically, slumping further into the cushions.

"Look, I’ll leave eventually. Just… let me sit for a bit. I swear I won’t be a bother."

You clenched your jaw.

You should tell her no. You want to tell her no.

But you don’t.

And that’s the part that pisses you off.

a few moments later—

"Hey, remember when I used to sleep over?" she mused, stretching her arms over the back of the couch. "Your couch still sucks, by the way."

"It’s not meant for you to get comfortable."

"Oh, so you want me to be uncomfortable?" she gasped, pressing a hand to her chest in mock offense.

"I want you to go home."

That part was a lie.

Minji ignored that, eyes scanning the room. "Kinda miss this place. You changed your posters."

"Yeah, people tend to move on."

She clicked her tongue. "Ouch. That was a little pointed."

You rolled your eyes and turned toward the kitchen, deciding you needed water. 

"Hey, while you’re up, can you get me a drink?" she called after you.

"You have legs."

"Not functioning ones," she shot back.

You considered ignoring her. Really, you did. But when you walked back with your own drink, you sighed and wordlessly set a glass of water on the table in front of her.

Minji smirked. "Knew you still had a soft spot for me."

"Shut up and drink your water."

She grinned, taking the glass with her good hand.

And somehow, she still wasn’t making any moves to leave.

And somehow… you still weren’t telling her to.

Because you didn’t actually want her to.

___________________________________

Funfact: Minji's accident is based on something that happened to me last week <3 Luckily, I only ended up with scratches and bruises on my arm and legs😜😜🙏🙏

[gremlingottoosilly]

konig with a partner that deliberately pisses him off/acts bratty just to get punished with spanking/mean sex??? bro would take a hot minute to catch on lolololol

Embarrassing him in front of his troops because you know the sex is going to be soul-crushing after this. You won't be able to walk for days - just because Konig has a very simple of logic that you wouldn't be able to yap around and find out if you're tucked away safely in his arms - so, it's only natural he would fuck you as hard as he can. Imagine trying to make fun of him or his technique - if you want your hips crushed in his hold, you can just whisper to him that he become kinda too fast lately - god, this man would fuck you for hours after this, not stopping until you're an overstimulated mess and his dick is getting practically tortured. Poor, poor guy( it's hurting him more than you, he swears on god!! and other entities too, for a good measure. He would spank you after an important strategy meeting - you weren't present, of course, being a civilian, but you were annoying with your messages and naughty photos while he was trying to concentrate on the war efforts, and now he comes home frustrated and pent up...prepare your sorry ass to get spanked and bruised by his large hands, with his degradation and praise mixed up and adding to a good measure.

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

♡ extra #3 : fire vs feline ♡

in which : your boyfriend battles for your affection with an unknown rival

a/n : and its back after decades !!! tysm to @sorrowfulrosebud for this suggestion and im sooo sorry it took me so long to get to this next part :(( still, i like this a lot and i hope yall did too ! aaaghhh dragon katsu i missed you tehehe MUAH MAUH

fluff n cats !!, cooking but nothing bad but like you slap katsukis ass once lolololol

it's 8:45 pm, and you're still not back from work.

you usually tell katsuki when you're running late before hand, or you call him from work to warn him. it makes him grumpy, sure. but he's at least glad you let him know.

but tonight you didn't and it makes him even grumpier.

at this point he's thinking about heading out and finding you himself. he picks you up from work sometimes, but you don't like it because apparently he 'mean mugs your coworkers.' your words not his. he looks out of the window, the rain is beating down against them. it's pouring outside, he frowns.

maybe, you're running a little late at work and you just forgot to warn him. sure, it happens. and you are an idiot (but you're his idiot). but..there's a small, little doubt buzzing around in his head like a fly. and it annoys him.

what if something happened to you ? just the thought makes his whole body buzz in anger.

fuck it. he practically jumps up from the couch and prepares to put his shoes on when he hears knocking on the door. katsuki's ears perk up and he's zooming to the door, faintly catching your scent. he hears the jingling of what he knows are your keys but he's already faster than you. you're absolutely soaked, holding onto a grocery bag and cradling your work blazer to your chest. katsuki's just about to scold you, when he sees something..furry in your blazer ?

you don't respond when he asks you anything and push past him. he stays frozen by your front entrance while you run around your apartment until you stay in your room. and he swears he could hear you talking. he's jumps slightly when he hears you call for him.

immediately he barges into your bedroom, and despite being soaked down to the bone your all smiles. beckoning him over to you, his eyebrows furrow.

"what the fuck are-"

"shh, shh!!" you hurriedly press your finger over your lips, beckoning him over to the blanket in front of you. he holds back what he wants to say and the closer he gets the more the furry little mass comes into view.

"look at him, isn't he cute ?!" you whisper yell, cooing softly when the little animal meows at you.

a cat.

he's not completely unfamiliar with them. he sees them sometimes while he's out on runs or doing the groceries. you always squeal loudly whenever you see them and rush to pet them. the one's he sees are usually fatter, bigger than this scrawny little thing.

"where'd you find this thing ?" he squats next to you, scowling as the little furry beast mewls, eyes squinted closed. you send him a look.

"i found him..in an alley all alone in the rain, i couldn't just leave him there !" you pout at him, katsuki squints at you despite his heart kicking in his chest at your cute expression "doesn't he look cute ?"

he looks back towards the little creature. it's nuzzling it's head against your hand you've got pressed to support its blanket dome. "it's small." he settles. you roll your eyes "he's a baby." you shoot back.

"is the shit you dumped in the living room for him ?" you look back at him like you'd been caught, eyes immediately darting back to the kitten. "it's just until i can find him a new home, he's in rough shape.." your eyes droop. one thing katsuki will never admit is that he truly admires your empathy, you seem so saddened about the frankly poor state of the little creature. you'll get sick if you stay in your wet clothes any longer yet all you focus on is chatting with the little kitten, baby talking back at it.

it does look pitiful, maybe because of it's fur sticking up every way because you had just dried it off, or maybe its still shivering little form curling up in the blankets. katsuki doesn't care about anything or anyone in the human realm except for you, but his heart squeezes just a bit at the tiny sounds the kitten releases. he doesn't think he could get used to how small every creature is here. even what you qualify as a big dog here doesn't even come close to what he'd classify as one.

tentatively, he reaches one big finger towards the kitten. it looks like it could fit in his whole palm. " fuck, it really is small."

his words earn him a giggle, your eyes soften as you see them both interacting "what, you finally realised ?" he scoffs, his eyes not leaving the cat as it curls its head towards his finger, obviously attracted to his warmth. you can't blame him. "aw, he likes you !" you squeal. katsuki only huffs, his nose scrunches up at your words. " it wouldn't survive a day back where i'm from, too small and weak."

"don't be mean," you reach to pinch his cheek, and he ducks away from you with a growl. he slowly pulls his finger away from the cat to knock his forehead against yours, you grumble and he smirks, of course. ever the little shit.

"go shower, yer fuckin' soaked. gonna catch a cold." he grabs you by your shoulders to walk you out of the room despite your protests of wanting to watch over the kitten. "i got it." is all he says, pushing you out the door. you sigh, shaking your head, a smile grows on your face. you forgot to get a change of clothes, but you know katsuki will get some for you later, and you hurriedly walk over to the shower. as much as you want to spend time with a cute kitty and your dragon man you're more than happy to get out of these cold clothes.

when you're done showering, you've changed into the fresh clothes that katsuki had indeed dropped in while you were showering (not before scolding your dumbass for forgetting, of course). you're met with the sweetest sight. your boyfriend holding the little bundle of blankets in his arms while he's watching tv. you try your best to squeal quietly so as not the startle the kitten. you snatch your phone from your bedroom to take a picture, your boyfriend growls lowly at you, it seems like he doesn't want to startle the kitten either. you decide to use this to your advantage.

"shh, shh don't scare him !" you smirk. the shifter glowers at you.

"cut that shit out." he grits out.

"what happened while i was gone, katsu ?" you coo. you don't know if it's the camera on him, the petname or your tone of voice that has pink blend onto his ears, but it makes the sight that much cuter. you can't help but giggle.

"fuckin' thing didn't want me to leave, kept whining." he explains.

"i mean, you are warm." you shrug, he is not happy with your answer. clearly. because he growls again. "what am i, a damn heater ?!" you both hold your breaths when the tiny ball of fur yawns, but doesn't wake up and readjusts in katsuki's lap. you let out a sigh of relief while the blonde huffs, relaxing just a bit, he scoffs to himself.

"you gonna keep standing there or are you gonna bring your ass over here ?"

"i'm thinkin' about just staying here, i'm really liking this view." you giggle at his eye roll, tucking your phone into the pocket of your sweatpants and slowly making your way onto the couch. you manage to cuddle up next to katsuki without disrupting the cat and sigh happily when he bumps his nose into your hair. a deep rumble comes from his chest that resembles a cat's purr and it makes you giggle. you decide not to comment on it lest katsuki feels insulted for being compared to something so small.

the groceries you'd made last minute for the cat have been tucked away on the kitchen counter and you smile, kissing your dragon man's chin. who chuffs happily despite not looking away from the tv. you close your eyes, happy that your boyfriend was okay with the kitten staying for a while.

you've fallen asleep after a while, he knew it was coming, but katsuki knows it'll be a bit annoying to have to tuck you into bed while also not waking up the tiny little creature. he sighs, running his nose to your eyebrows. you and your stupid empathy..

but in the time you took to shower. the clingy little feline managed to make katsuki's heart squeeze just a bit, it shouldn't flatter itself though. he can it admit that like this, fully dry, quiet and asleep. it doesn't look all bad. dare he say kind of cute.

the worry from earlier finally catches up to him and he knows he should just bring you all to bed, but he can't be bothered to wake you up right now. besides, he might wake both you and the cat up. he'll only close his eyes for a bit and wake up a bit later.

before he falls asleep, katsuki can admit that that's major bullshit.

nevermind. forget anything positive he said before. katsuki hates this mangy fucking cat.

it's only been two days. two. days. and the pest (or tofu, miso, mochi and every other food related name your dumbass uses as a place holder name) thinks it's just the king of the house now. the bastard thinks he's earned the right to prance around like he owns the place just because his face isn't unbearable to look at, fuckin' bastard.

he's hyper, he whines when you don't let him sleep in the bed with you, so katsuki's earned himself a scratch on his cheek from the mangy demon deciding to attack his face first thing in the morning. he's bossy and greedy, and so loud. and those god forsaken "zoomies" drive him up a wall. especially when he wants katsuki's food knowing damn well he's got a bowl of perfectly good cat suited food waiting for him. you claim he's just a chattier cat and it's so annoying. the cat loves to act like it wasn't sent from hell just to torture katsuki when you're around. curling up to you and meowing at you, and you meow right back like you're having a riveting conversation ( if he didn't hate the damn thing so much he'd think it was cute..and he still kinda does unfortunately..)

what probably pisses him off the most though is that you spoil the little furball to the ends of the earth.

and yeah, sure, he's a baby. he needs to be nurtured and taken care of. whatever, big. fucking. deal. katsuki's been a baby before and he's sure he wasn't this insufferable..maybe a bit--but not that much !

you squeal oh so loud when the vile creature does literally anything, swooning when he purrs as you scratch behind his ears. when he does a big stretch, when he yawns, when he eats, when he breathes. you're on him, and it pisses him the fuck off.

and, no. it's not because you spend way more time with the cat you've known for two days than your own mate. it's definitely not because you cuddle and fall asleep with the cat, it's not even because you coo at tofu/miso/mochi/the fucking demon like he's just the most precious thing the world. not because you giggle and smile at him, and he's not mad because you're only supposed to with him. at all.

...okay so maybe he was a little mad about it, so what ?! dragons are naturally possessive creatures. and no matter what it is, katsuki doesn't like it when it takes your attention from him for too long. you wouldn't get it, fuck you.

so here he is, shivering to death while you're cuddled up with your cat from hell. he hears the stray purr loudly, like he's taunting him. he scowls.

katsuki's actively sitting as far away from you on the couch as possible. which you find weird because you'd brought out you're cuddle blanket, although with katsuki around every blanket is the cuddle blanket.

his arms are crossed and he scowls at the movie he'd picked out. immediately you could tell something was wrong, your katsuki senses tingle. you stop playing around with tofu as you call out for him. katsuki offers you a side glance and a side glare at the kitty and a grunt in response.

you'd sensed this animosity between him and miso since the day he'd woken up with a loud scream because the stray had decided to pounce on him. a pretty rude awakening you can admit, and katsuki had been grumpy the entire morning until you'd given him a get better kiss and a little band aid. ever since then you'd catch him and mochi having staring matches and you could feel the tension in the air, like static crackling.

and you could in fact feel the burning against your back of what he probably thought was his subtle glances at you and the kitty when you'd play or so much as interacted with it. but c'mon, who could blame you ?! he was the cutest cat ever !

but you should've known with your boyfriends clingy streak, and his dramatic ways, this wasn't bound to end well.

"come sit next to me, baby," you coo, pouting your lips. you know the offer is tempting to him, but your boyfriend is nothing if not dramatic, he scoffs at you.

"'m not sitting nowhere near that fucking demon." he sasses, you snort. "mochi is harmless, you just need to learn to get along."

he turns to you, insulted "i was fine with the little beast until he decided to wage war on me !"

"i'm sure he didn't mean to scratch you, he was just excited !"

"he fucking drew blood ?! he wants me dead !" he scoffs, before adding a challenging "good luck with that." scoffing as the kitty stays curled up next to you. you can't help but snort.

"he's a baby, suki."

"so ? you're just saying that 'cus he's attached to your hip. the damn yowler's even tryin' ta steal my mate from me." you laugh then, startling tofu and making katsuki roll his eyes. you slowly unwrap yourself from the blanket, wrapping it around tofu who blinks at you. you crawl over to your boyfriend, placing your head in his lap. you smile up at him as he scowls down at you, huffing hard.

you put your palms on his warm cheeks, his eyebrows furrow harder as you coo at him "my dragon man's feeling a little left out isn't he ?feeling a little touch starved ?" you tease, rubbing at his cheeks.

katsuki growls at you, his eyes droop just a bit at your touch. "you're fuckin' crazy. i hate you." you laugh hard, hands dropping from his face. he leans down to huff in your face, chest rumbling as you blow in his face as payback. he presses his palm to your face complaining that 'your breath stinks', having trouble hiding his smirk.

you lean up just enough to press your nose to his like he always does for you, his eyes widen "dummy.." he mutters, pink taking over his ears. he presses his nose to yours affectionately and kisses your lips roughly.

" i'm your mate, yeah ? you don't have to worry about anything. miso just needs to be taken care of." you reassure. katsuki squints at you, looking away again with a pout. "i know that. and i wasn't worried."

"yeah ?"

"yeah." he huffs, knocking his forehead to yours "stop calling him that name, it's stupid."

you scoff, revolted "it's adorable !"

"it's stupid." he reiterates "you can't even settle on one."

" shush," you take the opportunity to scratch at the spot behind his horn. watching as he melts, chuffing happily into your neck. you smile to yourself, not worried your ass.

you feel his strong arms wrap around you as best he can in your position, trying to keep you away from a certain kitty. unfortunately, he seems to forget how little the feline is as it manages to squeeze itself right in his arms. katsuki's head flies up and you jump.

"who the fuck do you think you are, hah ?! think you can just get comfy on me after drawing first blood ?!" miso is unbothered, lifting his head up to yawn at your boyfriend causing you to snort. your dragon man doesn't find it the least bit funny though "oooh, you're just soo comfy, huh ?" he turns to you "see ? i swear he wants to fuckin' fight me."

you laugh again, placing your hand against his back and rubbing slowly, reaching for the cat with your other hand but katsuki intercepts it, showing it off to him and taunting him about how you were his mate like a child. you shake your head affectionately, having two boys fight over your affection like this was not something you expected to happen in your lifetime.

you wake up the next morning a little later than usual, free of work, and your welcomed with a lovely surprise. your dragon boyfriend cooking you breakfast, covered only by his kiss the cook apron and with a little fur ball perched on his shoulder. which could be a little dangerous since they're both perched right above the stove, but they both look pretty comfy.

"you gotta wait thirty more seconds before you flip the pancakes. if you flip 'em even a second before or after they'll be fucked, got it ?" the kitten meows in response and katsuki grunts, turning back to his food. you pad over to the kitchen, phone in hand, katsuki glares at the sound of a camera shutter, not being able to turn fully with miso on his shoulder. "what the fuck are you doing ?"

"wondering when you guys got so chummy !" you giggle, getting closer knowing he can't do anything to shoo you away. katsuki grumbles but focuses back on his food to flip his waffles. "what happened ?"

"we talked it out, bastard isn't as bad as i thought, i guess."

you tuck your phone away to press a kiss to his cheek and say hi to miso. you don't know what he means by talked it out, but you're glad they ended up settling their..differences.

"fenrir said he doesn't like the names you picked out for him either." your boyfriend adds after a pause, he smirks when you freeze.

you're flabbergasted when you register his words, "he didn't tell you that, you liar ! and who the hell is fenrir ?!" katsuki shrugs at the shoulder the cat is perched on, and miso/mochi/ tofu/ fenrir ?? meows like you'd called him for attendance. he does seem to like it, katsuki smirks even wider.

"you named him fenrir ?!"

"he likes it." is all katsuki offers you, obviously proud. you shake your head and you can't help but laugh "you're unbelievable." you giggle, and katsuki rolls his eyes with a smirk. telling you to go brush your teeth because you're not getting anything he made with nasty breath. you smack his ass as revenge and run off. before he can get his hands on you, not that he could. you hear him complaining to fenrir about how annoying you are. you hear a meow and a chuckle.

your new cat and your dragon boyfriend are talking shit about you, but at least they're getting along.

THEHEHEHE THE RETURN !!!! iLOOVEED this i rlly hope yall enjoyed, should we keep fenrir as a pet throughout the series ? supposedly reader n katsu r gonna find a new place for him, but he's kinda growing on me ! lmk !!

taglist *if your name is pink i unfortunately couldn’t tag you :(( @doofusarena @queenpiranhadon @rosemarygalaxy @slashersl0t @andysdrafts @berryvioo @erenstitanweave @chuugarettes @stardyedkatsuki @atinytiredpanromantic @zaiban2989 @annepamgkrth @mxpl3s-castle

[aphroditedahlias]

What if Bully Eren Victim is self-harming because of him or even worse commits suicide?

Yandere bully eren x self h4rming reader<33

woahhh, never wrote anything like this before, but i gave it a try! ps. masterlist updated!!!

TW : Self harm, skin carving, blood, and light non con ( not full scene)

This is a little short and not proofread lolololol the last time i posted a fic was in july 2022 so if this is trash lmk.

The heat of your room is suffocating as you drop your bag and tug at your jacket. June is approaching and a new month means new opportunities to wear cute new outfits for most people. You on the other hand have no choice but to make the awkward switch from heavy winter clothes to lightweight winter clothes. The ugly lines that cross your arms , stomach , thighs, and even hips are stinging reminder of why you couldn’t even think of wearing something other than hoodies and sweats. Not only are they the only things that conceal your scars, they don’t tug and irritate them throughout the day which is another plus.

Eren had been feeling particularly irritable all week, naturally deciding to take it out on you. Although you finally made it through the week you flunked yet another test. Your grades have been taking more of a toll then ever, lowering your gpa to an unredeemable average. You were numb to the disappointment of your grades at this point and the only thing that allowed you to feel alive was the secret you kept tucked away in the privacy of your room. after grabbing your coping mechanism and taking off your sweater you slid down the wall, taking your time to enjoy the coolness of it against your too hot skin. Your thighs were running out of room. Faint lines cross your biceps and so today you’d decided on your lower forearm to bare the weight of your week. You lowered the blade and slowly withdrew your stress. As little beads of blood came about, each one releasing just a little of the darkness Eren had created inside you. You were so lost in your comfort and hurt you started and nicked yourself particularly hard when you heard banging at your door.

Quickly you threw on the sweater from today and made your way to the front door, looking out the peephole.

“ Open the fuck up y/n, what did i tell you about making me wait.”

Eren.

Your heartbeat double in pace. You wondered what would be your demise first, your heart stopping from fear of the angry look on Erens face , or the way you just knew he would choke you out for making him wait.

You swiftly swung the door open while midnight a small apology.

“ I’m sweating like crazy so why are you sitting in this hot ass house with that sweater on?” he sneered, using his t/shirt to wipe his upper lip dry.

“ i had the ac on in my room i got a little chilly.”

“ so why is it still so hot in here? and there’s no Ac in that fucking hell hole of a school and you still had it on today, what’s your deal.”

“ Nothing I-“

He interrupted you by kicking the door closed behind him and pushing you against the wall before lowering his face to your neck.

“ Mmm baby you smell good.” he said, licking your neck.

Panick arose once again becuase the broad daylight would allow eren to see everything. The last few times he’d assaulted you had either been in a dark empty class room or with the lights off in the dead night of your room.

Before you had the chance to protest he was pulling the sweatshirt off of you.

You both stood in silence as he peered closely at your body, watching as you began to subtly quiver.

“ Y/N, what the fuck is this? “ He seethed, grabbing your arm, not caring about the blood clearly still oozing form your open wounds.

You had no answer, and you kept your head bowed in shame.

He pulled you by the arm into your bedrock before pushing you down on the mattress.

Wasting no time he stripped you free of the rest of your clothes and examined all the scars you’d given yourself.

He laughed to himself as he flipped you over and pushed your head down into your pillows before pulling you up the hips.

“ Count ” he said.

you felt a harass smack and jolted forward, trying to escape the assault.

“ one!”

you silently said a prayer to anyone who would be looking down on you.

Smack after smack you counted and cried out.

Just when you thought it was over, you heard something click and felt the sharp coolness of something against your ass.

“ Eren? what-“ you said sniffling.

You let out a whimper as you felt what you know knew was a blade lightly digging into you.

The agony was much worse than anything you’d put yourself through , you skin had a second heart beat and you could feel the blood dripping down your legs concerniny fast. You cried and begged for him to stop but he paid you no mind as he continued carving your delicate flesh.

Minutes passed by and you swear that you’d lost consciousness, fading in and out of black a few times.

Eren chuckled.

“ I’ve thought about doing this so many times. You have no idea how many times i’ve fucked my hand, making my cock cum over and over until i was sore thinking about making you permanently mine.”

Still dazed and confused, you had no reaction to his words or to the shutter of a phone that meaning he’d definitely photographed his work.

His finger spread your lips, using his thumb to tease your hole before spitting into it. He didn’t bother much foreplay before impaling you his thick and veining cock.

“ Fuck.”

His voice dipped and his breathing got heavier.

He used one hand to rub at the little nub that had you quickly seeing stars from the pain and pleasure mixed together. He used his other hand to pull you up by the neck so that tori back was touching his. He kissed your neck hard, biting and suckling at the skin to leave even more bruises. Tears fell down your eyes and whines left your lips as he pounding into from behind. You could feel the blood starting to dry and crust up on your ass making it even more discomforting to feel his movements.

removing his hand from your clit, he picked up his phone from off your bed and flashed you the screen.

In big red bruised letters red

Erens whore.

His sultry voice was almost tuned out by combination your ringing ears and the slapping of his hips against your wetness but you still heard him in your ear

“ Your heart , body, and soul is mine. Your skin belongs to me, and the next time you think about cutting what’s mine you won’t live to regret it.”

Eren never made empty promises… if you’d ever decided to hurt yourself again, you’d be signing your death certificate.

Ask box is open, send in lots of requests because i’m gaining motivation to post!!!

©️aphroditedahlias 2024

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[pakunod-a]

Silly Prom Night

Prompt: It's prom night! What do these men do in the ballroom? ���

Pairing: Overblot boys x Reader

Riddle, Leona, Azul, Jamil (I) [here]

Vil, Idia, Malleus (II) [here]

CW: Random stuff, not really fanfiction-ish, more like drabbles, some shorter than others lolololololololololol Reader is referred to as You and Yuu. Reader is described to wear a gown, other than that it's gender-neutral if you don't mind the fabric gap. Bad English because I'm not a native English speaker :( not proof-read, random as FUCK and characters might seem very ooc if they do I blame my not-so-American education

Notes: entire work is based off of stuff that happened to me last night at prom, and i was thinking about various characters that would probably fit the profile of all the mishaps that happened to me last night lolololol

Work under the cut :)

Riddle Rosehearts !

You were sitting at your table, waiting for the buffet service to end so you could take the dance floor.

Well, it's not like anyone's dancing with you.

To be fair, you were supposed to be partnered with a first-year, who got sick the night before, so he couldn't make it. Poor lad.

It was horribly long, it felt like a very, very long time.

It took around thirty minutes for the dance to start, and everybody's got a partner.

All, except for you.

What a bummer.

Wait, is that the housewarden of Heartslabyul, in the corner, without anyone asking him to dance?!

Let's go fix that. 🏃

You ask him if he wants to dance, and he simply says;

"No."

"Come on, it's a ball, you're supposed to dance. You're getting there whether you like it or not. This long ass dress won't stop me from dragging you on the dance floor."

You ended up having a half-hearted Riddle dance with you.

Honestly, the way he held you felt like he wasn't interested at all, let alone happy. It felt like he was disgusted by your presence.

Every time you'd look at him, he would have an unpleasant look on his face, and aim his gaze elsewhere.

After the dance is over, and everyone returns to their seats, and you get a notification from your phone on Magicam. It was Cater, tagging you in a post.

"So cute! I'm vouching for RiddeYuu next year. #RiddeYuu #YuuRid"

..huh. Attached to the post was a video, and a bunch of hashtags you swear you didn't care about. You clicked the video, thinking that it was some kind of impractical prank being played on you.

Oh boy.

Boy, were you wrong.

In the video, it was you and Riddle dancing together on the dance floor. Riddle was a mess, blushing and shying away from all the lights. He had a small smile, as he evaded your gaze whenever you looked at him. He seemed genuinely happy to dance with you.

Maybe he wasn't disgusted after all.

Maybe he really did love dancing with you.

Leona Kingscholar !

You couldn't count the number of times this guy stepped on the hem of your train.

It's like your hair being pulled out of your skull, except it's your entire body being pulled back like a slingshot.

It wasn't the most fun experience.

Then, you had to pick a partner to dance with for the nth time this evening.

Your feet hurt already, how much more dancing?

Surprisingly, even though you had little to no interest in dancing, a certain sleepy lion approaches you with a scowl on his face.

"C'mon herbivore, chop chop. Vargas says I gotta dance for extra credit. You look like you could use it too."

This feels and sounds condescending.

He's pretty nice to dance with, doesn't step on the hem of your train anymore, nor does he step on your feet.

On the contrary, he scoops up the longer part of your train whenever you'd have a hard time walking somewhere.

Other times, he straight up carries you like you're a cat.

It's funny, really.

There was this one instance where you mentioned you wanted ice cream.

He set you down on his chair near his party's table, and disappeared. He actually came back with half-eaten ice cream

You love your sleepy lion, even if he seems a little TOO catty at times. :)

You eventually got too tired to dance, and just sat down. Leona napped on your shoulder.

How sickeningly cute.

Azul Ashengrotto !

Where there is bank to be made, Azul Ashengrotto's the merchant's name.

Seriously, this guy's part of the catering group for the buffet.

Bro did NOT stop making deals at a school function. The grind never stops, respect for that.

You'll probably end up selling your kidney and a lung if you stayed there any longer.

Buuuuut, he does need a dancing partner.

So what say you, if he offered you a slice of mango graham cake and a cup of coconut jelly with a side of gelato in exchange for a dance?

Hell yeah. sorry to the readers that dont have a sweet tooth, have some roasted garlic and onions.

He wasn't too bad honestly, never stepped on your feet once.

You do remember having two gold bracelets on your hands.

He admired one for a quick moment, and it seemed to disappear.

Now, he wouldn't go around stealing stuff from anybody.

No no.

He found it on the floor, while you were too busy dancing.

You want it back?

"Three more dances. Then I'll give you your bracelet back. After all, what's a precious bracelet in exchange for a few dances, no?~"

"You're wasting my time, screw you."

You ended up dancing with him, ten times.

Not thrice.

Ten.

Bro just exploited the jewelry glitch, and wore you out all night.

"Oh, poor Yuu, however will you get back home? If you promise to help out at Mostro Lounge, I'll have you home in a jiffy—"

Thud.

You fell on the ground, snoring.

Oh. You're asleep now. That's convenient.

Don't worry, he'll carry you back home to Ramshackle, free of charge.

After all, dancing with him all night must've tired you out.

He'll just repay the favor.

Surely, that would be the more gentlemanly thing to do.

Jamil Viper !

Would you believe me if I said this guy was in the corner, squinting his eyes as he looked for someone?

Oh. Dude must be looking for Kalim. Fortunately for him, he's over by the second-year's table, away from him.

Hold on.

Away from him???

But the Octotrio sits at that very table.

The Leech twins and Azul Ashengrotto himself?!

Hell no!

Jamil sprints half a mile across the ballroom in an attempt to sweep Kalim away.

"You shouldn't be sitting with them. They're not exactly the type of people you should be socializing for this type of event."

Not even a few seconds later, Kalim trips on a giant camera stand.

He face-planted into the ground, his nose bleeding from hitting the ground too hard. He still has that stupidly goofy smile on his face.

It honestly gives you cuteness aggression.

He had to be brought to the infirmary.

Poor Jamil, he really doesn't get a break.

It's not until he gets dragged to the dance floor, does he leave Kalim's side.

Let me tell you, once this guy relaxes, DAMN can he dance.

He could be blindfolded and spun around five times, and he'd STILL have the balance and elegance of a ballerina.

Work it girl, show those students who's boss.

note: "which events were these inspired from?" oh wow i thought youd never ask let me give you a tour of my brain juice i used to write this real quick and indulge myself in an immersive storytelling 🤜💥🧱

For Riddle: when i got called up for my award, there was a boy who also won the same award in the male category. we were instructed to dance together, for the Royalty dance. i thought he was disgusted because i was holding him, so i felt uncomfortable dancing with him. in a video posted by my schoolmate, they tagged me in a video of him looking at the camera and smiling as he waved. he looked half pale and half pink.

For Leona: while dancing for the "waltz" part of the prom, i felt hungry and told my dancing partner i was hungry, but they wouldnt let me back into the buffet because my dress almost took up the entire line for the buffet, so i either had to ask someone to get it for me or have my homeroom teacher get it for me. he eventually sat me on a chair, and ran back with ice cream from the dessert bar. he did eat the whipped cream and cherries, so i made him go back and get another.

For Azul: this one student was working behind the counter at the buffet, and he was jokingly stealing his dance partner's earrings, necklace, and bracelets while she wasnt looking. he said it costs three waltzes for a singular piece of jewelry to be reclaimed, but if she danced to a budots remix, she'd get everything back. she waltzed for more than seven times until she collapsed onto a couch and snored for an hour straight. she did get her jewelry back, and she resumed dancing with our Azul-like classmate.

For Jamil: i saw someone slip and their friend was scolding them for not being careful. he sat down at the table full of people who dont like him, and he got an earful from his friend on why he shouldnt sit there. his friend reminded me of Jamil so much, i had to write him like that.

[ineffablecabbage]

Non-spoiler reactions TO 1;00 PM OF THE PITT:

Collins, my beloved, I'm so sorry. But I enjoyed all your interactions with Robby so much, even when he was being an ass. All the hate fucking, I do want it. Noah Wyle, continuing to have better chemistry with people when he is furious than when he is ~madly in love~ lol.

I see all the attempts to make me think Santos isn't a fucking supervillain, but lmao, nah. The bar is in hell. Congrats on passing the bar fucking minimum.

MEL AND FRANK ARE GREAT TOGETHER. I LOVE THEM. MEL WAS SO GREAT WITH THAT PATIENT. I LOVE HER.

and now!!!

spoilers ~ for 1 pm of The PITT:

OH MY BOO IS ALREADY UPSET ABOUT DR. COLLINS GETTING ASSAULTED. HE'S READY TO FIGHT. AWWWW. I LOVE HIM.

Oh, the Supervillain is going to try to get info on Langdon. Girl, are you going to try to set him up as a drug addict? And that's going to ruin the special thing that Robby nominated him for? Girl, you are evil. Robert Romano would love you.

OH LOLOLOLOL. Are they tryign to make me have sympathy for the supervillain because she cares about victims of incest? Nah. The bar is in hell, my friends.

ALSO LMAO. I SEE THAT ROBBY HAS ALL OF CARTER'S BAD HABITS TOO WHEN HE IS MAD. THAT IS FUCKING GREAT. I LOVE HIM.

But guess what! Collins is correct. :)

WHAT IS THIS GIRL DOING. GIRL. lmao. what are you doing. oh, you can't even be against the incestuous creep correctly.

Ugh, now they are trying to make me have sympathy for this girl because of her sad history. Sorry, but nah. Like good on her for scaring the dude, but will it work once he gets out of the hospital? No. And all it will do is probably make thingns worse for the daughter. That's how real life works. Stupid girl.

ANYWAY

OH NO, COLLINS MY BELOVED.

[anxi-aashi]

high seas and gnoses (pt 1)

current chapter | next chapter

tartaglia x gn!reader

words: 1.9k

warnings: cursing, scary tagtag, thats pretty much it tbh

summary: somewhere out there is a dragon that thinks you stole its treasure. who better to help you return it than a pirate captain with an addiction to adrenaline?

a/n: this is the 1st chap of a series i came up with while watching a youtube vid on pirates of the carribean and i remembered how much those movies slapped and thought "what if i slapped genshin on this and made it even better" so here's the beginning to a pirate au you didn't ask for but I'm delivering anyways. super exited to see where this goes, i have some ideas for how its gonna work out already!! maybe smut later on but i haven't decided ;);) didn't proofread this so good luck lolololol

They came at the crack ass of dawn.

As you slept (read: tried not to throw up and embarrass yourself) on the damp floor underneath a stranger who was practically sweating through his hammock, the scout above deck screamed his warning:

Pirates. 

The crew around you burst into action as if none of them had been snoring loud enough to rival a warhorn just seconds before. A menacing alarm bell pierced the frenzy of orders that suffocated everyone below deck. What remnants of drowsiness you had were officially gone. 

Pirates. You hadn’t even been on sea for a full 24 hours and you were already being raided by pirates. They couldn’t have at least waited to board and slaughter you all until you’d had some breakfast?

The men and women of the Alcor scrambled about. Your hand flew to your trouser pocket— it was still there. With your conscience slightly eased, you grabbed the shoulder of a young girl as she rushed past you. She turned, clearly a bit irritated at your interruption; you were only a passenger, of course. You weren’t one of them. “Can you—” she began.

“What do you need me to do?” Your voice shook while you said it. You weren’t even sure if she could hear you over all the noise. But you knew if you sat still long enough, the panic would take over and devour you whole.

Her gaze softened a bit. “Follow me.”

It was in the middle of lugging a cannonball under the young girl’s instruction that you were caught.

A large hand grabbed a fistful of the back of your shirt, forcing you to drop your load. It slammed into the wood boards below you, narrowly missing your toes, and forming a little crater in the floor. 

You tried to wiggle out of the stranger’s grip. “Hey! Get the fuck—” 

A slap, and suddenly your head was turned to the side, your cheek tingling. Your jaw hung open in shock. “Stop squirming,” your captor grumbled. He was a large, heavy-set man, his face almost completely obscured by a mask and hat. 

To your left, the young girl hung over the shoulder of another pirate, dressed and built similarly to the one that handled you like a mother cat to her kitten.

The both of you were carried to the top deck and plopped unceremoniously in line with the rest of the crew. On the horizon, the sun peeked above just enough so that its rays shone directly into your eyes.

You squinted and hung your head down to let your eyes adjust. A few of the pirates muttered amongst each other while the rest carried crate after crate of food and valuables from the ship's hull. Their heavy footsteps creaked on the deck. It only made the silence of the sea that much more deafening. 

You took a deep breath. Focused on a hole in the wooden plank below you. Though you weren’t a sailor by any means, the gentle swaying of the ship managed to calm your nerves a bit.

As your eyes adjusted, your eyes settled on the wood-carved narwhal heading the massive vessel. It formed a majestic arch, its horn pointing proudly at a perfect 45-degree angle. 

Your heart sank. The relic in your pocket suddenly felt infinitely heavier. Of course, the first pirates you ever encounter are the crew of the Childe of Abyss.

“Fantastic! Is that everyone?”

The cheery voice ripped you from your thoughts. You glanced to your left. The crow’s nest scout, Kazuha, kneeled next to you; a few people down from him, the Alcor’s captain, Beidou. She glared up at the man who stood in front of her.

At first glance he was short. He was a short man with obnoxiously orange hair that you quickly realized was natural and not dyed. But then you took in the way he leaned over Beidou, towered almost, and it dawned on you that this man was not short, the rest of the crew was just freakishly tall. 

And when Beidou aimed her angry, “Fuck you,” at the lanky ginger, it clicked that this was his crew. 

He let out a laugh that almost sounded genuine. “You’re not my type but I appreciate the compliment! Now,” he scanned over you all and placed his hands on his hips, “empty your pockets.”

“What, are the three chests of gold you dragged up not enough for you?” Beidou snarked. 

No one moved. A pirate sporting a hood and mask that covered the bottom of his face had his dagger at her throat in an instant.

The ginger chuckled and placed a hand on the man’s arm that held the dagger. Slowly, the dagger was put away. “A bit antsy today, aren’t we?” He cocked his head. “Normally I’d love to fight this out with you, comrade, but unfortunately, I didn’t sleep too well last night. Why don’t you take a look around you instead?” 

Beidou held her glare, then glanced around at her crew. When she looked at you, a twinge of remorse appeared. 

The ginger bent down to catch her eyes. “You’re a good captain. I can tell you care for your crew. You want what’s best for them.” He straightened up and crossed his arms over his chest. “I want what’s best for mine. And I’m nothing if not thorough.”

The captain of the Abyss didn’t reiterate his command, but it went unsaid. Beidou gave a short nod, almost imperceptible if you weren’t looking for it, but it was all her crew needed.

Everyone shoved their hands in their pockets, dredging up the last of their wares for the awaiting hands in front of them. Lockets, trinkets, crumpled pieces of paper— Kazuha even produced a pendant and a blunt.

You, however, were frozen. You only had one thing in your pocket, and it was something you could most certainly not give up. 

The pirate in front of you brandished his gun at your forehead. You tensed, but kept your gaze forward. 

“Pockets,” he repeated. 

“I don’t have anything. I’m a civilian.” It was only half a lie.

He cocked the gun’s hammer.

“Ah, a stubborn one so early in the morning?” 

Your eyes flicked up to see the captain resting an elbow on his subordinate’s shoulder. It was a little too high up for it to look natural. Despite the gun to your head, you couldn’t help but let out a quiet laugh. 

The captain cocked an eyebrow. “Somethin’ funny?”

You averted your gaze and shook your head, smile fading.

He crouched down to your level. This close— without the sun as a backlight— you could see him better. An expensive-looking red earring dangling from his left ear. Freckles blooming across his face from hours spent in the sun. Eyes like the ocean; deep, dark, and holding secrets you probably didn’t want to know the answers to. 

He held out a gloved hand. 

You held his stare. You kept your hands where they were. 

He frowned, no, pouted as your defiance, then stood up. “Kill her.”

“Wait!” you blurted out. “I—” You looked to everyone surrounding you, enemy and ally, then back to the captain. He held a hand up to the man holding the gun, looking at you expectantly. 

“Can I speak with you? In private?” you asked. 

The captain sighed and looked at you. And looked. And— “Okay.”

He strutted off to the captain’s quarters without another word. 

You blinked and shot a glance at the man still holding a gun to your head. He shook his head in a way you’d only ever seen tired dads do around their rambunctious toddlers, but holstered his gun. You took that as your cue and dashed after the man who held your life in his hands. 

When you opened the door to Beidou’s quarters, the captain was waiting for you, leaning against the desk that centered the room.

The door automatically closed behind you with the motion of the ship, making you jump.

The captain watched you curiously, but the way his fingers drummed against the rim of the desk told you his patience wouldn’t last forever. 

You steeled your nerves and reached into your pocket, hesitating.

The captain huffed out a laugh. “Jeez, you really know how to up the suspense, don’t you?”

You glared at him. “I’m nervous because I know you’re probably going to think I’m crazy when I tell you what I need to. And my life quite literally depends on whether you do or not.”

He held up his hands in mock surrender, but his amused smile didn’t fade.

You pulled the relic from your pocket and showed it to him.

Amusement dropped into a blank stare, directed at the small, golden pillar in your hand. “What the fuck is that?”

You ignored him. You expected this. “Have you ever heard of the Seven Gnoses of Teyvat?” you prompted.

He snorted. “You think I've managed to live my entire life as a pirate and not know what a gnosis is?”

You rolled your eyes. “It’s a yes or no question.”

“Fine. Yes,” he amended.

“This is the Geo gnosis.”

The captain stared at you in what could only be described as bewilderment. Then a laugh bubbled out of him. His shoulders shook as he dragged a hand down his face. When his laughter subsided, he spoke. “What’s your name?”

Your eyebrows furrowed. Did this mean he was going to let you live? “(Y/N),” you replied.

“(Y/N), sweetheart, I hate to be the one to tell you, but that is a chess piece,” he concluded.

Before you could launch a tirade, he cut you short. 

“A very fancy chess piece, I will say! But, still a chess piece. You’ve been duped.” Pity was written all over his face.

You collected yourself. The last thing you needed was to piss him off while trying to convince him to keep you alive. You clutched the gnosis with an iron grip. “Don't patronize me. Whether you believe me or not, the point is, I’m not supposed to have this. And there is someone— some— the owner of this chess piece,” you spat out, “is looking for it. I’m trying to return it before they find me.”

The captain reached up to scratch behind his ear, making the red stone in the earring flicker in the dim light of the cabin. “And what does this have to do with me not killing you?”

“The owner of this… relic is very, very rich.” Not technically a lie. An estimation based on what you had read about dragons. “Personally, I just want to drop this thing off and be rid of it. Which means, if you take me where I need to go, whatever treasure we find is yours for the taking.” A lie. You had spent all you had on passage aboard the Alcor, which was now in the hands of one of the worst pirate crews in Teyvat. You would be taking at least one thing for yourself. 

The captain takes a moment to assess you. Then, “Okay.”

Again? “... Okay?”

He huffed a laugh. “What kind of pirate would I be to turn down the promise of a haul like that? This is the most interesting conversation I’ve had in months. And of course—” The captain waved a hand about flippantly— “If you’re lying, I can just kill you later.” A smile.

You gulped. Though you knew you weren’t lying, something told you this voyage wouldn’t go anywhere near as simple as he was making it out to be.

“Somethin’ wrong, sweets?” And all of a sudden he was very close to you now. 

Your eye twitched at the nickname, but you avoided his eyes, afraid they might somehow see your thoughts, and answered. “No. Sorry. Thank you… um…”

A hand reaches into your line of sight, prompting you to look up. A grin stretched across his face, revealing faint crow’s feet at the corner of his eyes. “Tartaglia,” he winked. “Welcome aboard.”

[bisharp-that-likes-chips]

The main group reacting to the person being 5'1 in height, please?

Okie

Hank:

He thinks you’re adorable

He likes to pick you up and carry you around everywhere.

If anyone makes fun of your height, they’ll be sorry for even attempting.

He makes sure not to crush you when hugging you, the most dangerous man in Nevada has his gentle side you know?

Sanford:

Bro’s heart is melting faster than the ice caps (I’m sorry)

Likes carrying you around and holds you like a plushie

He’ll give anyone the death stare if they insult your height

Nah fr if anyone gets cursed by the stare of Sanford then they might as well write their last will and testament

Deimos:

Teases you from time to time (that usually ends in you giving him the slap of god)

He just does that cuz finally he’s no longer the shortest member in the group, meaning his ego has risen from 90-100

Cocky Deimos aside, he does think you’re precious and cuddles you whenever he feels kinda down

If anyone makes fun of you for ur height, he challenges them to a roast battle. Sometimes he wins, but other times, he legit gets owned so bad that u have to come in and kick the other guy’s ass and comfort him (he acts like he’s cool as a cucumber but he does need it and really enjoys being comforted after getting burnt)

2BDamned:

Kinda scared of you because you’re so tiny that you can sneak up on anyone and scare them so much they see heaven or hell

Other than that he does enjoy your presence, especially if you’re clinging on to him while he’s working. It makes him feel relaxed and warm whenever you’re there just being an affectionate lil bean

Dude gets passive aggressive whenever someone makes fun of your height. Like: dumbass: lMaO sO sHoRt Ur LiKe An AnT lolololol 😂😂😂😂😂 2B: you say that shit again and I’ll throw you into a white van with a free Candy sign on it with your fucking face tied up, so don’t make fun of my love okay good sir 😇?

Also holds you while sleeping

Hell yea new request finished after so long. I’ll work on others asap

[urrameshi]

A Shot of Espresso

takami keigo x f!reader ≧◡≦

authors note: okay hiiii been writing for a long time, but never really posted before but i’m gonna try! didn’t proof read this ok xoxo also this is a repost from my old blog lolololol

Being in a secret relationship with one of the most famous heroes in the world, really boosted your ego. That meant sneaking into your place outside of the city after late patrols or pretending to ‘save you’ only to sneak you away somewhere hidden for a quick lunch or a quickie.

Was it ideal? Fuck no, you wanted to be shown off. Keigo wanted to show you off like a shining diamond. You were amazing, strong, and just stunning but he was also terrified. The city was just getting more dangerous and while he knew you could handle your own, he couldn’t help but be protective of you.

This morning was different, he told his sidekicks to amp up patrols today, that he would be out of town for a bit. Nothing major, but just long enough he wouldn’t be able to do anything heroic that morning. He had stayed the night with you a few times before, but he would always leave before the crack of dawn.

Early bird gets the worm, or whatever.

He was yours. For the first time, since the start of your relationship he was yours. You weren’t the most romantic person, But this was something you needed. You didn’t wanna have to share him all the time. You were both heroes, you both had busy

You felt his body move next to you. He was trying to be sneaky, was he really trying to sneak out like a teenager?

“Keigo? It’s too early for you to leave. You’re mine this morning, not the world’s.”

“Oh little bird, I’m sorry I know I said I would stay but you know I have a huge day, and that big interview tonight!. Still gotta keep the Commission happy.” You rolled your eyes, rolling over as he threw the covers off. Not before sneaking a peak at his ass you loved so much.

Best of both worlds came with Kegio Takami. He was your world but he belonged to the world. There was never truly enough of him to go around and he knew that. Didn’t stop him from trying to make it work though.

You weren’t anything special enough you guessed for the commission for you both to be seen together. You questioned when the news would break and both of your worlds would be shaken up. Maybe he needed some shaking in that area of his life. You weren’t one to be insecure about anything but with somebody like Keigo, it was hard not to get in your head sometimes.

-

The rest of the afternoon passed without seeing Keigo, “he was such busy, busy bird.” you thought to yourself a bit sarcastically. You wouldn’t see him till much later tonight after he would sneak into your place, and get something to snack on and depending the time, just get in bed and wrap himself around you.

After the rest of your day was much less eventful, you decided to turn in early and watch this interview with ‘The Number 2 Hero, Hawks!!’ Social media was busy, you couldn’t wait.

“Ha! I know him more than you do.” you held the last syllable on the do, stringing it out longer to sing. Joking with yourself out loud and in replies to tweets you were scrolling through helped you feel bad. you swore it did.

The interview was finally starting.

“Tonight everybody we’re here with the best up and comer we’ve had in awhile! Hawks!” The cute host gestured to the entrance where Takami walked out, and the crowd went insane. Everybody loved the flying hero! You couldn’t even lie to yourself, feeling your whole body grow hotter as you watched him on your screen.

You laughed it off, ‘God! You’re acting like a teenage fangirl! he was literally in your bed this morning!’

“Thank you so much for having me tonight! I remember watching my favorite heroes on the show when I was younger!”

“Oh Hawks, you’re always the people’s hero! So you know me, let’s get the cat out of the bag! A lot of rumors are around lately, who’s the lucky girl?”

Oh no! the moment your anxiety had been dreading, he wouldn't say a word to just keep up appearances and it would honestly crush you. maybe you just didn’t know what it was like, but pro hero or not. It shouldn’t have mattered.

Takami threw his head back laughing. “Wow! Really coming in hot, huh?”

“You know, i always come in blazing!”

“It’s funny actually, and i’m gonna get some flack for this but yeah i am seeing somebody actually.” Your mouth dropped! The crowd cheered and screamed, the energy in that studio must have been off the charts!

“That’s how we start a show, ladies and gentlemen! With news you don’t get anywhere else! Tell us about them, Hawks, pretty please?”

You were hugging a couch pillow close to your chest now, “Yes hawks, tell us about her.”

It took him a moment to reply, getting himself more comfortable in his chair. “Well you know, i’m protective so I'm not actually gonna say who it is.” He told her, getting a bit of whining from the crowd. “but I can tell you, they’re like a shot of espresso. it’s like feeling sunshine for the first time. it’s really something special i don’t know if i’ve ever had for myself before, if i’m being honest.”

A Shot. of. Espresso.

It was official you were acting like a teenage fangirl, absolutely swooned by Takami. What a cheesy way to explain it! Every doubt of your relationship had melted away almost immediately.

You were prepared to return the affection when he snuck in after the show. Dealing with everything that could come from this would have to wait till tomorrow. When Takami was here with you, its the only world that mattered.

[sinnful-darling]

how i think levi would handle someone raging and insulting him after he wins a match:

games included: cod + dbd + apex + siege

tws: toxic gamers are a tw of their own, slurs sent by said toxic gamers, levi is called a weaboo and otaku in a degrading way, kys is used (not by levi), rando wishes death on levi’s mom (he doesn’t have a mom), insults sent and received, at the end levi gets a lil toxic bc he’s fed up

COD WARZONE:

levi using proximity chat after having a godly KD ratio: gg guys!

some random person that was on the other team: kill yourself, i bet you hack and camped for that win. i hope your mom fucking dies, you piece of shit.

levi trying not to laugh as he cracks his knuckles: lolololol ur so mad bro. if u got better, maybe u wouldnt have lost. gg tho.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

DEAD BY DAYLIGHT

a survivor that levi hooked post-match: ur a hacker bro imagine not being able to hook survivors without hacking 😂

levi after hooking all of the survivors within five minutes in a dbd match: u mad? lol

the same survivor from before: lmao u fr think i’m mad u hooked me wen ik u hacked tht?

levi laughing his ass off: lolololol u just suck.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

APEX LEGENDS

some rando on the second to last team: worthless cocksucker. you are a waste of oxygen. enjoy your life never amounting to anything but a piece of shit no one likes. do your best to try and piss me off. i make 100k grim a year. work out everyday. and have a girlfriend. worthless fuck.

levi zeroing in on one comment in specific: u want me to degrade u ? lolololololol u a masochist or smth? lolololol

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

TOM CLANCY’S RAINBOW SIX SIEGE

a player levi no-scoped: i bet u hack you piece of shit. u look like i suck dick all day long and never brush ur teeth. i bet u smell like onion and cup ramen u weaboo otaku fuck.

levi fed up with shitty players insulting him: listen here you toe-eyed cabbage, i wasn’t born into this world so your fat ass could choke out low level insults to me. i hope you stub your toe in the dark and have to crawl around your bedroom at 3:47am in horrific pain after going to the kitchen for a midnight snack of cheese and crackers you absolute gormless minger

the player levi no-scoped in siege: sorry

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

some of these i had help with bc i have no idea what toxic gamers say. the last two are from screenshots my friend sent me when he looked it up for me.

[bigdsgirl]

I need to scream into the void about this show so please enjoy:

"what can I do to make you smile?" - he is killing me ily sir

this man just wants her to be happy and AHHHHH

I am still not over I will get 6+ episodes with this man wearing a ring. every close up shot of hand will send me into space

the family! the BIL crying! his parents!! grandma! they love our babies!!!

fuck u mommy dearest, your end is coming and I will be cheering my girl on

him saying good night to the door, i'm sobbing

i wasn't sure if they'd follow the webtoon here, its interesting

THIS MAN ON THE BEACH! THE BEACH! HE'S SO BEAUTIFUL!

i forgot to say she is beyond exquisite -- every outfit has me deceased

her IGNORING HIM PAINS HIM?????????????????? bye.

beach confession *whispers* beach confession

me: *sees the shitty ex* DIE

Sister and ex kissing has me VOMITING

the SHOWER LOOOOOL I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THIS -- its even better in TV form. and icon!!!

SNEAK PEAK GIVE IT HERE SIR!!!!!!!!!!

he said honey! bye! send me into orbit! his internal chuckle at her faking being asleep has me rolling. okay now say sweet nothings to her 😏

stupid ex is like "omg dreams come true" -- oh shitty mcshitface you have a big storm coming (and I have a front row seat!!!)

yes ma'am!!! chew his ass out! ya dun fucked up

them walking on the beach, what a GORGEOUS shot. frame it and hang it pls

ma'am pls just hold his hand, he is just a sad panicked puppy

HAND KISS I AM DECEASED

he just wants to hold hands and SLEEEEEEEEP

"you might pounce on me??" this man is a genius, this is COMEDY

"so if i cross the line..." man is ready to JUMP

HEART TO HEART YES HONESTY!!!!!!!!!

SHE KISSED HIM SHE KISSED HIM

he is basically like "ill love you enough for the both of us" and oh fuck I am gone

want me to take your mind off it??? OH BOY DO I EVER!!!!

oh.... sir..... the hands... oh... my lord... i will never recover from this.

the PAINTING!!! also lolololol @ surprise gift comment (iykyk)

grandfather, you shithead

the SWITCH OF BOWLS, my king

yes girl, you grab that gallery - also LOL at dad chewing out Yoo Ra

mic drop get them Yi Joo!!!!!!

uh oh mommy slapped her, (good)

"I'll lose my mind for good" - ok sounds great, let's do it

MIL and niece relationship is adorable

MIL the dramatic hug has my rolling -- and the swish of her outfit, she is a VIBE

ugh - ew. they are doing this now. GO AWAY Yoo Ra!!!

now i can see my HALLOOOOOOOOOOOOO (freaking banger)

now i must suffer for a week waiting for this gem to return

[silviakundera]

Joy of Life S1 Ep 39 liveblogging

wow Yan Bingyuan is such a fun guy to be around, and so cheerful too 😝

CAN SOMEONE GAG HIM

lmaooooooo I like this girl, just tossing Fan Xian's arm around her neck with the knife. Hilarious. She's too good for sourpuss over there

ok I will actually like Bingyan if it turns out the 6 Department heads ARE spies 😆

this girl repeatedly trying to get captured and ML delicately handing back the knife is a great bit. Let's bring her home instead! (So what if she's maybe a spy, nobody's perfect)

"I'm popular" lolololol I love him

Hi Saintess! Missed u bb 😘

So Shen Zhong is willing to defy the emperor's mandate but not the Dowager Empresses' ... yet

Adorkable bodyguard is still going at it! What # is he on?

So the wild rumor about the saintess and & Fan Xian is gonna be a cover for the alliance w the emperor

We keep being reminded about how scary Long Tao, so this will be interesting

finally some emotion from Yan Crankypants! "Is Xiao En still under your control?"

Fan Xian's face journey: 'er do u mean literally or in that way I high key collect frenemies like they're pokemon?'

They really do make an amusing duo. FX the nonchalant rogue, Bingyuan the morose & rigid patriot. Can FX chill him the fuck out by the time they reach home? Only time will tell

hah, mr doth protest too much Fan Xian IS planning to kill Shen Zhong for lil emperor. The rescue is ON.

Bingyuan wants me to care that He Daoren is gonna die due to this favor but idk why he expects FX or me to care that much. Dude is a powerful weapon on the enemy's side who was blackmailed (?) to perform 1 act and was clear he wouldn't help in the future. Plus he simply wasn't very interesting

Now if he murders the lil sis, I'll be sadface

Yan Bingyuan: and like nobody would believe you have any relationship with Shang Shanhu

Bodyguard enters, 'hey Shang Shanhu sent someone to ask when we're making a move.' FX, " Go back and tell him we'll respond in the next few days" 😂😂😂

Why would Ugly Beard think FX can find his dad? well idk Bingyuan but he found your cheerless ass

lol yeah what I just said. me & FX are like this 🤞

wheee more Saintess! They make a great frenemy pair. Same with the emperor.

"Xiao En was once an important official of Beiqi. Shang Shanhu is Qi's renowed general. .. So you formed a secret alliance with my county's famed general to break into prision, and you're letting His Majesty hear this?"

Fan Xian: "I'm not saying this to let His Majesty hear it, I am asking for help."

Beiyi emperor smiles.

FX, "We can be considered accomplices."

😂😂😂

Honestly, FX have you considered just defecting from your united qing uncles and just settling down in beiqi? Clean house and you'll feel right at home. OH RIGHT THE GIRLFRIEND. Fine she can come too.

shouting to His Majesty's back and saluting, "congratulations your majesty, we can now be considered accomplices!" emperor points a finger at the sky lmaooooo I love these 3 together.

Is Shen Zhong gonna figure out the plot?😱

omgggggggg Fan Xian leaping on the back of Ugly Beard's horse and hugging his waist Im dying he's iconic

so Shen Zhong also has A Clever Plan 😬

[mysicklove]

I'm delusional so your last bit about big! bro Sukuna bein strong was my motivation to get my ass to the gym today (i was planning to skip the day) so thank you💕💕💕

LOLOLOLOL UR SO VALID FOR THIS

this is me whenever i see mikasa ackerman. im like fuck okay time to hit the gym ig

[tricornonthecob]

At least I now have less stuff going on

LK 119: Along the Delahow?

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)

Who could have known this would happen??? Not me!!!

Man is *gasping* he didn't know the first rule of Colonialland. Those magnificent cheekbones can't save you now!

She wasn't readyyyyyyyy.

timeout here but why do american conservatives like flags so much. Is it because they're loud and flap about?

"not exactly" girl shut up, you said "Do we have a chance" and "God help us" like a month ago.

Oh fuck you, art department, for making this look cute. I know its probably not supposed to be an S/J moment but I swear to god y'all were torturing us.

oh my god Y'ALL ABOUT TO LOSE ONE IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR FROSTBITTEN MULLETY ASS IN FRONT OF THE FIRE, HUGHES.

Ok but this is kind of cute in a Brothers Being Bros kind of way.

Well he certainly didn't pull you straight, amirite

He just fucken. Leaves. No goodbyes, no verbal cue that he's leaving the convo. Just turns around and walks away. Wow we must be related

You should probably share your intel with the rest of the agency, James.

LOLOLOLOL that kid who leaked US military shit in that forum NEVER watched LK and it shows.

And yet you still haven't answered my question about the kettle corn!

There we go.

Why is he allowed to do this, Retreats Georg wasn't done.

Sarah: "Are you fucking kidding me rn"

He ships it.

Hey now! Baltimore's all right! ...Sort of!

She has a point!

Quit. Gazing. At. Each other. Actually pls continue, its making my inner 11-year-old squeal.

Honestly the battles of Trenton and Princeton have gotta be in Amrev's top ten most Roadrunner/Wiley Coyote moments. A true benny hill vibe.

why the fuck does this 15-year-old-18-year-old have a miniature of George Number 3 and why is it making eyes at her.

Anyway byeee

[thatboomerkid]

Team Murderhobo Continued

Cleric: (deep sigh) goddammit.

Wizard:

Wizard: ... uh? who, me?

Cleric: For the love of fuck, what are you doing and why isn't the paladin stopping you?

Wizard: Ah-ha! Well, my religiously-motivated friend, the answers you seek are "selectively crossbreeding bulettes, beholders, and mini-mimics to produce a type of fancy hat that can shoot an eight-ton landshark as an eye-lazer on command" and "BWAHAHAHAHA, the dumb idiot is too busy trying to get the sorcerer off of TikTok now that it's illegal! LOLOLOLOL suck my ass dick and balls!"

Cleric:

Wizard:

Wizard: uh oh shit i meant "nothing" and also "no reason"

Cleric:

Cleric: fuck it just keep it down to a dull roar, i have a hangover.

Barbarian: (pops head out of the Wizard's cauldron, eating a carrot) Really?

Bard: (also pops head out of cauldron, naked, scrubbing feet with huge pink loofah) AGAIN!?

Wizard: OH NO MY MOST SUBTLE WIZARDRIES! NINE HELLS DAMN YOU FEISTY RAPSCALLIONS AND YOUR ILL-ADVISED SHENANIGANS!

Wizard: (begins hitting Barbarian and Bard over the heads with large ladle; the two scamper off, comically splashing soup everywhere)

Wizard: HAVE AT THEE! (attempts to give chase on flying carpet; flying carpet immediately malfunctions and crashes into cauldron at eighty miles per hour, spraying hot soup all over everything else)

Tiny Mimic-Bulette: (calmly floats out of overturned cauldron, shooting eye-lazers in every direction; any object struck immediately turns into a carnivorous hat that burrows into the floor)

Wizard: (now on fire) DAMN YOUUUUUUU!

Cleric:

Cleric: YES. ALWAYS.

[stinkylittleanon]

Levi and his xbox

Contains: She/he pronouns for Levi, Transfem Leviathan, shitpost, mentions of eating change from a car and fucking moms, terrible insults/comebacks

Leviathan would get an Xbox from MC as a gift from the human world

And she would be so happy!!! A gift!! For her!!! From his favorite human ever!!!

Until he actually starts to play

She's getting BEAT by HUMANS in a VIDEO GAME!!!

How could they be better than her? He's the idol of the shut-in world!!!!!

Everyone can tell that Leviathan is getting stressed out because he keeps losing to 'mere mortals' in CoD

And one day she gets a dm from another player

Which turns into a full argument...

Which turns to Leviathan saying the following:

"I fucked your mom, you normie LOL"

"LOLOLOLOL Ok (insert IP address)" "You pussy I bet you'd eat the change in my car ROFL" If the player brings up the fact that he's trans he just: "Trans and still more likely to get bitches LMAO" (It's all terrible but that's the best he can come up with, really)

Mc doesn't help either, they're egging him on

SO DOES MAMMON

But Lucifer decides that enough is enough, it's been a month of his sister shutting herself in her room to get better than these "normies"

When the Xbox is taken away, Leviathan cries to MC that her precious gift was taken!!!!

Except MC is giggling their ass off while patting Levi's head because they know damn well they were a part of it

But Levi doesn't wanna play with those normie humans anyways!!! She has the most perfect most special most non-normie human with him now <<334

Or at least that's what he says after Mc teases him about "Aw, you don't wanna play with humans? What about me :((("

Mammon is the one to make fun of her for losing her Xbox, in which Lucifer reminds Mammon about his credit card