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thekidultlife · 4 years

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Through the Seasons | Seungcheol (COMPLETED)

Author’s Note:

Please read this before continuing on to the fic! 😊 If you’ve read the first part of this story which I posted in a rush during my birthday, please. scrap. all. your. thoughts. about. it. Having completed it now, I truly regretted rushing to post it just to meet a deadline; that won’t happen again lol. 😂 I plan to write more slowly and carefully from now on because I want to be able to look back and read my stories without too much regret over how I could have written them better. I hope that you enjoy this one, and please look forward to this series! My plan is to alternate writing “The Return Of Superman”, “The And” and “Through The Seasons” during the coming weeks/months.

Birthday Greetings: This fic is one that I wrote as a gift, not only to our amazing SVT leader and my ultimate bias who deserves THE ENTIRE WORLD, Seungcheol (🥺❤), but also to my good friend, @peekabooseoksoon! Belated Happy Birthday! 🙆‍♀️ I hope you get to love this fic!!! 😄

Tags: I’d like to mention @coupsiekkuma, @minkwans, @eclvpe, @haven-cove, @nrhfzh, @iwalktheline97, @woozisnoots, @shoshishua, @toxicsocial, @elcie-chxn, @yslmingyux, @gostickywombat, @uglyratlmao, and @starlightshua!

Plot: Two people form memories, navigate through hardships and—most of all—learn to love each other more through the seasons of their relationship.

Warnings: Marked 18+ for suggestive content

Word Count: 10,386

1 | summer, as the night wind whispered

Bright lights flooded the town square through the colorful lanterns that hung in lines and swayed idly. The air was filled with the smell of mingling perfumes, food and beer. The cobbled streets were packed with people, of different ages, walking through the stalls that sold native handicrafts and trinkets. Tables that were laid out in the center of the square kept getting occupied as the twilight dissipated into a dark sky full of stars. Music from guitars, bagpipes and dulcimers wafted around, competing with the blare of jukeboxes playing songs from eras long past, classics that everyone still loved to sing and dance to.

One month ago, no one would have thought that this town would be celebrating like this.

A violent storm had hit and destroyed almost everything in its path, and a sense of despair had engulfed the people living there. The winds and the heavy rain had been bad, but the landslides really made things worse. Even at present, as the town held its celebration, helicopters could be seen hovering above the mountains that surrounded the town proper, their searchlights flashing here and there, aiding rescuers who made their way around the dark, slippery terrain, looking for missing people or houses that had vanished underneath mounds of trees, dark rock and soil.

Despite the tragedy and the uncertainty that hung in the air, however, the townspeople had been resilient. Pooling their resources, and seeking help from neighboring towns and cities, they managed to recover most of their losses and found cause to celebrate as houses, businesses and landmarks began to be restored.

Sitting on one of the tables, watching the merriment all around them, were three men, sipping on their beers, wearing jackets that identified them as university students hailing from a city five hours away. They, along with a group of other volunteer workers from their uni, had come to help and were now celebrating the last day of volunteer work. Just across the street, by the small parking lot of the town’s only hotel, vehicles were lined up, readied for the departure in the early morning. These three men expected to be on the first bus going home tomorrow.

The first two sitting across each other kept commenting idly about how hectic the day had been, but the third guy, nursing his drink close to his lips, was scanning the flow of people, his huge, sparkling eyes flitting to and fro. He could not process what his friends were talking about. He was too busy watching who came and went as the festivities rolled on.

“Choi Seungcheol, have you found her yet?” Yoon Jeonghan asked, lazily grinning. His dark brown hair fell down his eyes and he raked them back with his fingers. He glanced at his friend before turning back to the buoyant scenery. A crowd seated on the table next to them roared with laughter.

“I haven’t,” Seungcheol replied lightly, taking another swig. “But I will.”

Seungcheol’s seemingly dogged determination made the guy sitting across Jeonghan chuckle. “This will be a very interesting night,” Hong Jisoo said softly, smirking at Jeonghan’s direction. “Cheol won’t let up finding this mystery woman.”

“I, for one, think that we’ve had an interesting day already,” Jeonghan answered dryly, leaning back on his metal chair, “and an uncomfortable one at that. I didn’t like the fact that we had to follow someone for a whole day, all because some guy couldn’t just walk up to her and ask her out.”

At that, Seungcheol turned to Jeonghan and glared at him playfully. “Shut up.”

“Cheol is acting funny,” Jeonghan teased. “Isn’t he, Jisoo-ya?” Jisoo laughed and clinked bottles with Jeonghan in agreement.

“I have my reasons,” Seungcheol said defensively, turning back to the crowd. “I couldn’t find the right timing.”

“Oooh,” Jeonghan cooed. “The right timing.”

“I said shut your trap, Jeonghan. I think you’re drunk.”

“I will be if you still don’t find her.”

“You could dance with some of our other friends out there while we wait.”

“You know I’m too tired for that.”

Jisoo laughed again. “You could not find the right timing? After all the days you’ve spent here?”

“Complete bull.” Jeonghan grinned.

Suddenly Seungcheol stood, setting his beer bottle down so hard on the wooden table that Jisoo and Jeonghan could not help but complain in unison about the abrupt movement. However, they quieted down when they saw Seungcheol’s expression.

“That’s her.” Seungcheol pointed somewhere in the throng of people, his eyes wide, his countenance suddenly alight and stone-cold sober. The night breeze blew on his close-cropped hair as he looked on.

His words were almost drowned out by the cacophony of voices and music all around them, but Jisoo and Jeonghan looked at each other knowingly, hearing his words perfectly.

`“Well?” Jisoo brought his drink to his lips, eyeing Seungcheol with a devious glint in his eyes.

A few moments passed, with Seungcheol simply standing there.

The right timing.

He broke off into a run.

He ran past tables and stalls and dancing couples, startling people along the way. His feet took him flying across the cobbled streets lined with lanterns, towards a spot by the exit of the square where stalls sold summer flowers. His heart pounded within his chest as he sprinted, his eyes never leaving what they had been watching for throughout the young night.

As he ran, he forgot how silly he had felt when, exactly five nights ago, he had hopped onto one of the buses leaving campus for the volunteer program. His only reason for joining had been his need for an adventure away from the city. He would have no other time for anything extracurricular in the months to come. The bar exam was looming over his mind, and before he poured himself solely to the task of preparing for it, he wanted to get away.

He remembered how you had stretched out a hand to greet him even before sitting down beside him.

Hi. You had smiled and he had felt like he was staring at the sun as you told him your name. Classical composition. You?

Non-music major, he had replied with a quick, albeit apologetic smile to return yours. I got on this bus by mistake.

Oh, that’s okay, you had said good-naturedly, winking at him, you don’t have to worry. We’re very good company.

And you were.

As he ran, he forgot how tired he was. He had followed you and the other volunteers around all day, up and down the mountains, giving out boxes of food and clothing to the families that had been affected by the calamity. The first four days hadn’t been as grueling as this last one. But it had been worth it.

He forgot, too, how sorry he felt for his friends, who didn’t know what they had signed up for when they followed him to this town to check up on him.

All he could remember was the flush on his cheeks when he had watched as your fingers strummed at a guitar, and how he could not help but hang on to the sweet lilt of your voice when you opened your mouth to sing.

"Deep breath and wipe those tears // Take heart and face those fears // We'll find a reason, // something to cling to; // We won't abandon // you. // There's hope in this season, // too."

All he could remember was the comfort that washed over the faces of the people who were listening, back at the orphanage in the mountains, where evacuees had taken up temporary residence.

He forgot about everything else and just ran, ran, and ran towards the only thing that mattered in his mind.

He had found you.

There you were—your hair rustling in the wind, wearing a billowing white dress that came down just beneath your knees and a knapsack that hung loosely on one shoulder, laughing with little children who were selling what looked like different sorts of flowers. You bent down to reach for a bouquet, and then lifted it to your nose, closing your eyes as you inhaled the scent.

Seungcheol drew to a stop as he neared you. His breaths slowed into pants, but his restless heart still fluttered faster than it would normally do.

Before he could lose his courage, he walked slowly to you.

He didn’t know what to say to you yet. After the bus ride, he only saw you every now and then, among the hundred volunteers that had joined. And all day long today, when he knew that he could not put off speaking to you anymore, he had been thinking about how he could approach you without scaring you off. There was one point this evening, after a little bit of beer, when he had felt like he could be brave enough to speak to you the moment he finds you.

But now, standing before you, he was tongue-tied, unable to say anything at all.

Sensing his presence, you turned, looking directly at him, still laughing, your hands holding a bouquet close to your face.

For precious brief seconds, the both of you just stood there, the night breeze beckoning as it made its sweeping touch upon both your clothes, trying to unchain you from where you both stood—whispering, it seemed, as it touched skin, Closer.

It was you who broke the ice.

“That was quite a run,” you commented humorously, your eyes filling with a gentle light. “Did I drop my wallet or something?”

Seungcheol laughed, blushing at the same time before scratching his head. He didn’t know that you had noticed him running. “Uh, no. Sorry. I must have startled you.”

“You told me during our bus ride that you came just to have some fun,” you said softly, your eyes taking in this handsome man before you and the jacket he wore. “But I saw how you worked hard, especially today. Thank you for coming with us.”

“And thank you for your songs,” Seungcheol replied, smiling. There was no flattery in his voice when he said this to you, only interest and admiration and another emotion that he himself could not clearly define at that moment.

Your eyes widened. “You listened?”

Seungcheol cocked his head to the side, hands in his pockets, still smiling. “All three songs, the whole afternoon.”

You grinned. “Ah. I didn’t know that I was in the presence of a fan. So…” one corner of your mouth turned up playfully, “…you ran all that way—” you motioned at the brilliant lights of the festival that was behind you both, “—not because I dropped my wallet somewhere around the bazaars and you picked it up by chance…but because—you loved my songs,” you grinned as you said this, “and you wanted my autograph. Was that it?”

He stifled a laugh, but it still bubbled out of his lips. “No. To be honest, I was going to ask you something else.” Seungcheol’s kind, hooded eyes smiled along with his lips. Courage surged inside him, just when he needed it. “Would you like to dance with me?”

Your slow smile answered his question before you even spoke.

“Yes.”

Closer, the wind whispered as you ran, laughing, with Seungcheol, back into the bright lights where the lanterns swayed, his hand not letting go of yours. And as Seungcheol pulled you close to him by the waist, your body arched up against him, and you threw your arms around his neck. You danced to the slow music, with Seungcheol’s eyes lighting up like the lanterns and his delighted laughter as melodious as the strings that strummed soulful tunes through the night.

Not far from where you danced, watching and making funny but adoring commentaries about how Seungcheol sucked at dancing, Jeonghan and Jisoo clinked bottles.

“It did become an interesting night.”

The town, in the morning, was greeted by blue skies and the young heat of summer. Business went back to normal, with the townsfolk reverting to their quiet, slow-paced lives in the fields and the mountains where their houses and livelihoods were nestled. The square held its usual number of regulars, some laying on the soft grass and others spreading colorful cloths around for picnics. Bicycles and occasional cars passed by.

There were no more buses that lined outside the tall, eighty-year-old hotel that was the pride of the town. No more guys wearing university jackets, no more stalls that lined the cobbled sidewalks.

Everything had gone back to how they were.

But traces of the festival night still popped up here and there in that sleepy old town.

High up the mountains, in the orphanage, children sang your songs and your words lingered on their lips. Some of them still had chocolates and candy from yesterday, leftovers from what their volunteer friends had given them as treats before heading back to the city. A plaque commemorating those who donated and came to help could be seen inside the town hall. And the gratitude people felt in their hearts as they watched their town being rebuilt made them remember their friends who had left in the early morning.

Some traces, too, weren’t just found in town. Some you brought home with you.

In that morning, you and Seungcheol were already five hours away, on a bus terminal, getting woken by the driver, who told you that you were now back in the city.

You had both missed the bus rides back to campus, but that was okay.

With your bags slung on your backs, you talked about Seungcheol’s upcoming bar exam, your major and getting breakfast somewhere. The impress of his touch on the small of your back as he gently guided you through the crowded streets reminded you of how you had felt when you danced with him all night. You blushed as he playfully protested about how his arms had gone numb when he woke up with you in his arms. Laughing with him as you both strolled along the hectic streets of the city, you found that you liked how Seungcheol’s voice sounded and how he would look you in the eyes intently whenever you would start to tell him something, no matter how interesting or uninteresting it would be. There was something intuitive and perceptive about him, something that you don’t normally see with guys that you had tried to get to know before. You liked that uniqueness in Seungcheol.

Sitting across him, eating your burger as you watched him type his number on your phone, you felt something new begin. And when he unconsciously reached out to take your hand while inside a cab that morning, you just knew, that you had both found in each other a memento from that summer night up in the mountains, in a town slowly recovering from a calamity, a town of cobbled streets and music and the wind that had teased and whispered, Closer.

2 | autumn, beneath the glowing streetlamps

Almost every sunset since the leaves started falling and the sky started to become painted in reddish-golden splendor, as people hurried along sidewalks or streets or in their bicycles and cars before rush hour set in, you would find yourself racing, racing and racing into Cheol’s waiting arms, warm and safe from the dropping temperatures and the cruel life of being an assistant producer for a crueler entertainment company.

There would be times when you would immediately look up from burying yourself in the warmth of Seungcheol’s embrace, smile sweetly up at his face and say in cute tones, “Hi, baby!”

There would be times when you would wrap your arms around his neck and stand on tiptoes to treat him with kisses as he laughed and whispered, “I missed you” in your ear.

And there would also be times when you would linger beneath his coat, shutting out all the bustling noises around you, eyes closed, and your words an almost unintelligible murmur on his chest. “Let’s stay like this for a while, please?”

You would then feel him kiss your hair, nuzzle your face, replying softly, “Bad day?” before hugging you tighter and tilting your head up so he could give you one of his infamous pep talks. He would then be kissing you with a laugh when you would start to complain that he sounded like a lecturer you had back in your uni days.

It had been three years since you danced with the wind during that summer night, and your sunsets during this third autumn season with Seungcheol by your side usually consisted of these sweet embraces and small but meaningful whispers of affection.

But today, the sunset was different.

You are still racing through the streets, running, running and running, your coat and hair flying in the wind. But Choi Seungcheol—always standing out anywhere he went with his height and broad shoulders, huge coats and quick smiles—was nowhere among the crowd. And you now halted to a stop, catching your breath, eyes frantically searching for taxis as the dark blue and violet shades of the nighttime sky started to replace the golden sheen of the sunset.

Once you could get on one, you immediately gave out the address, telling the driver as nicely as possible to step on it. Then you leaned back on the plush leather seat, sighing loudly, looking through the car window as you sped past the city’s grey skyscrapers and its lights and the rush of commute. You listened to the noise of cars honking, of motorcycles zipping past your cab, and chatter from commuters as you sometimes halted at crosswalks. You observed these people rushing to and fro, eager to be where they needed to be. You engaged in pleasant talk with the driver, complimenting his choice of music, even confiding in him that you had helped make the second song that played.

Soon, you came to a place where the pulsing, white and yellow lights of the city softened into golden hue as the skyscrapers were replaced by townhouses and apartments, homey restaurants, little shops and an occasional clinic here and there. Passersby were not rushing in this part of the city. Rather, families were walking hand in hand, dads sometimes carrying their kids on their backs, laughing as they entered diners and restaurants. Old women in flowery dresses shuffled up the steps of their apartment, with their husbands or cats following closely. Lovers and students with their friends laughed softly as they quietly strolled down the sidewalks, amazed at the beauty of the coming night and the sighing of trees as their leaves fell. You smiled at a woman you knew as the cab slowed. And when it stopped, you got out, blinking as your eyes adjusted beneath the glowing light of the streetlamps, looking around.

This was your neighborhood. This was your world when five o'clock came and you were released from the pressure of work. This was your safety net when you felt like drowning. This was your home turf.

And there he was, just as you knew he would be. He probably went straight home after court. He probably thought he could mask everything that had happened when he had rested enough. He probably didn’t want you to worry.

Yes, there he was. Walking slowly to his car, shoulders slumped, his phone in his hand, probably going to shoot you a message that he was on his way to pick you up, he just ran a little late today. His head was bent down as he scrolled through his phone. His other hand was holding his briefcase, his most prized possession as a criminal lawyer. He didn’t see you coming towards him yet. But as he looked up from his phone to open the car door, his eye caught sight of you and he stopped, his hand on the door handle.

Immediately, Seungcheol’s despondent expression changed. His face lit up into a smile that almost didn’t look tired, his shoulders straightened up and he cocked his head to the side like he always does when he sees you looking at him, his now ash-blond hair touching his forehead. “Baby!” he called out endearingly, his free arm wide open.

There, beneath the glowing streetlamps, you ran up to him and wrapped him in a tight embrace, your feet on tiptoes, one of your hands raking through his hair, the other caressing his back, whispering his name over and over in relief. He’s here with me. Everything’s going to be alright.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, worried about you even at this time when you knew that he needed you more than you needed him now. “Did something happen at work?”

“No,” you whispered in his ear, still smoothing his hair, holding him close. “And let’s not talk about my work tonight.” You leaned back so you could look into his face. Your hands ran through the soft, ash-blond locks on his forehead. Now that you looked at him closely, you saw that he looked pale and drawn, utterly exhausted with his day. “Oh, baby.” You touched his face and he held your hand close to him like that, closing his eyes as he let out a huge breath.

Standing on tiptoes as the streetlamps glowed brighter and brighter in the night, as the trees shed red, gold and brown leaves and as people passed you by, each off to their respective evenings, you gave Choi Seungcheol a tender kiss.

He sighed shakily as your lips touched his. He trembled underneath your touch; it was as if all his carefully put-up defenses might fall apart in that moment.

And they did, right when you whispered against his lips, as gently as you could, “It’s not your fault.”

Tears fell from his closed eyes like the trees lining the sidewalk, weeping away their precious foliage. You felt his body heave into choking, unmanly sobs as he buried his face down your shoulder, his hold on you so tight that you felt just how much pain he was trying to release. The briefcase lay forgotten at your feet as his arms pulled you as close as he could to him.

Seungcheol couldn’t say anything, but you knew about everything already; the city may be vast and diverse, but news travels fast. There was no need for him to explain. You knew enough, and that was all you needed.

“Shhh,” you whispered, tears falling from your face as well, your chest aching at the sight of your man—this man who liked to look okay in front of you all the time—bent, broken, and crying. “You’ll be alright.” Your arms tightened around Seungcheol, and you closed your eyes. “You’ll be alright.”

There was a comforting lull as you both stayed that way for a while, not minding who saw you, not minding the time. Tonight, he needed you, and you wanted him to know that he could hold you for as long as he wanted. For as long as he needed. When you had felt like he had calmed a bit, you asked him, “Bad day?” Even though you already knew the answer, he wouldn’t be able to talk about it freely if you didn’t ask.

You felt him smile sheepishly on your neck. “Yeah.” He sighed and buried his face onto your shoulder. “Bad day.”

“Oh, baby.” You hugged him tighter.

“I’m sorry. I know that I’m not usually like this—”

“—I like it better when you lean on me, too.” You patted his back comfortingly, over and over. “I know that you don’t want to talk about it yet, at least, not right now, but I’ll always be ready to listen, okay?”

“Okay.”

“No rush. But you can tell me everything when you feel ready.” You pulled away to stare into his puffy eyes. “I must say, though,” you commented with a bit of humor, “that red does not suit your eyes when it’s like that.” You smirked at him as his expression softened and his laughter came. You took out a handkerchief from your coat pocket and dabbed it underneath his eyes and his cheeks. “Doesn’t matter anyway,” you muttered lightly, knowing how much your nonsensical words would make him smile, “you still look good even when you cry.”

Seungcheol groaned. “Stop.” Then he kissed your forehead. “Thank you.” For making me feel better. You saw the words in his eyes, which began to sparkle again with a gentle light. He grinned at you, and a little bit of the sadness painted on his face seemed to dissipate.

You grinned back at him, and you held out a hand.

“Can we go home now?”

Seungcheol grasped your hand tightly and smiled. “Yes.”

The streetlamps glowed brighter as the dark ink of the night swallowed the brilliant colors of the dusk, and you both blended in with the people who were around you, walking towards whatever lay ahead for them in the coming night.

Seungcheol didn’t tell you about what happened that day in court. He didn’t tell you about what had made him cry like that when you found him. He didn’t offer any explanation.

And you let it stay that way. You watched him from your perch on the duvet in your living room. He sat on the couch, poring over binders that held one-inch-thick documents and every now and then scribbling something on a legal pad. You watched him whisper to himself as he typed incessantly on his laptop. Paraphernalia from whatever he was working on was scattered on the floor in an order that only he could understand. You watched him for a time as he kept on working. This was how he was whenever something from his work would haunt him: he would meticulously go over where he went wrong (or where he thought he went wrong), and he would passionately redo that area until he was satisfied. He would anxiously (and sometimes even a bit obsessively) review each argument, each line, over and over again.

Judging from his expression and from how he couldn't seem to stop doing this cycle of reading/writing/whispering, you knew that whatever piece of courtroom action he had brought home with him had truly gotten to him.

You watched and watched, and then you gave up watching him. You hated seeing him become so immersed into a case because you've seen him like this before, and you hadn't liked how it affected him physically and mentally.

You wondered about what you could do for him. Nothing came to mind.

Sighing, you rose up from your seat, a bottle of beer in your hand. You padded softly towards the other side of the room, where an unvarnished upright piano was.

You lifted the cover and you let your fingers run across the ivory keys. You sat down. As you stared down at the keys, a melody you’ve never sung before formed on your lips. You found the right key, and you began to play the melody that you hummed.

Slowly, scenery came to life in your mind, along with the words that painted its description beautifully.

“Autumn days of glory // autumn days of peace // red and golden splendor // in the sky and trees…”

You didn’t know where the words would lead, but you let your hands and your heart take flight. You let them come straight home where they needed to be. You let them express what you couldn't do in any other way.

“Fall is often like // a season of pure bliss // But fall is also when // change happens to things.”

You remembered the moment you shared with Seungcheol a few hours ago, outside. You let your hands play on as more lines went out of your lips, giving voice to the emotions you had felt and painted the picture in your mind with.

“Let me touch your face // let me dry those tears // let me help you brace // for the colder winds…”

You heard footsteps behind you, but the song still flowed out of your lips as your heart poured out what it wanted to say through the music's timeless language.

“Autumn days of glory // autumn days of peace // let me stand on tiptoes // let me give you a kiss…”

You felt his arms around you, and you felt the touch of his lips on your neck.

You found the last chord, and you leaned against him.

You stayed like that for a long time.

Your hand caressed one of his arms as you sang softly, “I will hold you close // I will dry your tears // I will help you brace // for the colder winds…”

You felt him breathe deeply, and you felt his arms tighten around you. And when he turned your face to him to give you his most tender kiss, you knew that he had chosen to leave his books and legal pads and that case that haunted him. You knew that he had chosen, no matter how hard it was, to put the bad day behind him.

As he carried you up from that hard, unvarnished piano bench where you sat and onto the soft satin comfort of your bedroom sheets, you just knew. You just knew that no matter how bad days in the future might get, as long as you had each other, there would always be peace at the end. That both of you would always choose peace at the end.

That night, as the last of the leaves on the trees fell, and as Seungcheol's bare skin cleaved to yours, he bared his thoughts to you. You both stared at the naked truth of his anxiety, his worries. Hesitantly, at first, he let you in on his deepest fears.

That night was the beginning of honesty at its purest between you two. That night, you treated each other like the Bible where you had seen Seungcheol swear the truth and nothing but the truth countless times. That night, you both found safety in each other as you unmasked the pretenses that you both still put up for the sake of looking brave.

That night, too, you both decided that there was no other way to overcome bad days, except to overcome it together.

When the streetlamps stopped burning brightly and another day came around, you both stepped out of the apartment, hand in hand, the warm glow on your faces obviously not coming from the sun, which had risen in a useless effort to bring warmth against the cold.

You both went your separate ways, disappearing amongst the thousands of people who rushed about as the sleepless city burst with renewed life.

Well, bad days, fire away, you thought to yourself as you tightened your scarf around your neck. After that night, the impending doom of a long day failed to break your spirit.

You had Seungcheol, and Seungcheol had you. Everything would be okay. You both just knew: everything would be okay.

Later that day, another golden dusk settled across the skyline. You raced down the busy sidewalks of the city again, looking out for a cab. The holiday season was almost upon you, and the air already had a festive spirit to it. As you glanced up and down the lanes of vehicles halting at the red light, your eye caught a figure to your left, among the crowds.

Waving his hand, his eyes alight, his smile as bright as it was during those first few days that leaves fell from trees, there was Seungcheol, wearing his huge coat, holding his briefcase and waiting, as he had always done, for you.

Smiling jubilantly, you ran to him, pushing against crowds of people, eager to become enveloped into his safe, warm embrace.

You were tired. It had been a very busy day: meetings, songwriting sessions, planning music video sets with other staff, and doing final checks on a concert stage took up most of your energy. But in Seungcheol’s arms, the fatigue you felt slowly washed away.

"Baby," you whispered, closing your eyes as you leaned against his chest. You felt his kisses on your hair and you smiled. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but does that smile mean that you helped save the world today?"

At your words, you felt Seungcheol drew in a sharp breath. You felt his teeth sink into your shoulder playfully as his body reverberated with giggles.

"Please stop making me blush in public, babe!"

The forecast had said that temperatures would be at its lowest yet, but as you kept making jokes while basking in the music of Seungcheol’s laughter, you never felt the cold during that last sunset of autumn.

3 | winter, by the hearth

“And everything in time and under heaven finally falls asleep // Wrapped in blankets white, all creation shivers underneath.”

Like magic, the words you sang out perfectly described the hushed, dreamy landscape that unfurled before Seungcheol's eyes. Snowflakes in their different designs fell softly on the ground and on your nose as you walked, hand in hand, wrapped in your warmest, heaviest winter clothing. You were walking towards the huge family house that belonged to your maternal grandparents, and you were both enchanted by the frozen beauty of the vast garden you were walking through. And as if the sight of imposing life-sized statues and the creaking, barren trees lining the footpath wasn't enough, the series of mountains to the left of the property also peeked out from the stone walls, revealing their snow-covered peaks and adding a magical feeling to the scenery.

It was the first time that you would bring Seungcheol to a dinner with all of your extended family, and Seungcheol knew from the way that you smiled at him a lot that you were excited.

Excited, and something else.

Despite the mixed expressions on your face that he could not quickly decipher to get a clear understanding of, Seungcheol returned your smiles. “How long has it been since you came here?” he asked, stepping over a mound of ice and snow that had formed along the pavement.

“Years." You looked up at him again, and you smiled wider. "It shows on my face that much, huh? How thrilled I am at having my whole family meet you?"

Seungcheol smirked. "I don't know how to get my family together like this. Do your grandparents hold gatherings like this often?"

"Not really. But they've been missing their children and us grandchildren, so…" you cleared your throat and paused. "Baby, do I look like Christmas lights are strung up on my face? Because my cousins tease me about my smile whenever I get excited.”

The brightness in your voice had dropped a notch, and Seungcheol examined your face again. “Well you do look excited, but I wouldn't worry about your face. You always look beautiful…"

You probably did not hear him, because you had let go of his hand to run ahead, towards the widespread arms of a very handsome old man who seemed to have the same light like yours in his eyes and the same humor on his smile like yours.

Seungcheol hurried towards you and your grandfather, and he bowed respectfully.

"So this is the lucky man," your grandfather commented humorously, shaking Seungcheol's hand heartily. "Come in, come in! Best to get out of the cold." Your grandfather shivered animatedly, and you laughed, leaning against him as you walked in.

You seemed fine. Seungcheol smiled and entered the double doors after you.

The house was spacious and welcoming, designed with warm wood tones and bursting to life with patches of greenery here and there. The wooden beams and pillars that supported doorways were intricately carved with floral swirls and patterns, and the furniture style accentuated the vibrant yet homey tones. The smell of food and wine and the sound of logs being thrown into a fireplace filled Seungcheol's senses. Holiday music played in the background, and soft laughter from one of the rooms to the far right of the hall made Seungcheol guess that some family members have already arrived before you did.

As he walked on, straightening his clothes, he ran smack-dab into a woman who looked a lot like you but was very much unlike you either. Seungcheol would never see you wearing a power suit in bold colors like this woman. The man behind her smiled at Seungcheol and offered a hand.

"Oooh, so this is my cousin Y/N's boyfriend!" The woman grinned. She held out a well-manicured hand. "I'm Sana, and this is my husband, Minhyuk. You’re Seungcheol, right?"

"Yes. Very nice to meet you," Seungcheol answered, his face lighting up when he saw you with a smile on your face, walking towards Sana. Sana is one of my favorite cousins, you had told him earlier. She's the loudest among all of us, but she's a really good person who took care of me a lot when I was younger.

Sana leaned close to Seungcheol, and he was once again struck by how her brown eyes looked a lot like yours. But hers, he observed, had a mischievous glint, while yours always had a gentle light in them.

"You'd better be prepared for this family dinner," Sana whispered conspiratorially, "and don't let your guard down. Watch your manners--"

"--oh, come on, Sana," you groaned, pulling Seungcheol away, laughter in your voice. "It won't be that bad!"

"Don't say I didn't warn you! And sit beside me during dinner!" Sana's red-lipped smile made Seungcheol suddenly wonder what you both were talking about. You were both inside the parlor now, where drinks were being served and the people inside were more formal: quieter and older members of the family were either seated or standing around, wine glasses in their hands, conversing as they studied the portraits that hung around the room. A young man sat by one of the massive floor-to-ceiling windows of the parlor, his fingers flying across the ivory keys of the grand piano. The fire crackled as a man added more logs. Your grandfather was nowhere in sight.

Seungcheol wondered why your smile did not reach your eyes once these people started to come and greet you with their hugs and kisses. He wanted to ask if you were okay because you had grown quieter. Occasionally glancing at you as he introduced himself to members of the family, he noticed that your whole countenance had changed.

The smiles and the laughter coming from you still rang true in his ears, but as your hands clasped before you as you engaged in conversation with an aunt of yours, you showed him a side of you that he had never seen before: very composed, very somber, very careful. The only relief that seemed to show on your face was when your parents finally came in, and Seungcheol was glad for the respite from your strained expressions and gestures. Your smile at them as they embraced you warmly was the only smile that reached your eyes throughout the whole introductory phase of the gathering.

"I'm so glad you're here, Seungcheol!" your mother said cheerfully, adding a warmth that Seungcheol hadn't felt in the room since you had both walked in. In fact, of all the people he had greeted today, nobody he'd met in this side of your family eased the tension he had been feeling since your voice changed on the way in. "My family has been waiting to see you for ages!"

Seungcheol kissed your mother's cheek and shook your father's hand, engaging in pleasant small talk with them. He had spent a lot of holidays and vacations with your parents, and they had been very enjoyable ones. In this fifth year of your relationship, though, you had quietly asked him if he wanted to go see your grandparents with you. He had known from the expression on your face that seeing your grandparents was an important family affair; and he knew now, too, why you had looked so anxious.

Everyone walked into the dining room once the clock in the parlor struck six o'clock. A long table heaped with food and beverages on glassware greeted all of you. Seating yourselves, Seungcheol held your hand underneath the table, squeezing it reassuringly. You squeezed his back.

Seungcheol's eyes caught Sana's on the far side of the room. She was sitting on the opposite end of the table with Minhyuk, and she cocked her head to the side, mouthing words that looked like, "Sit here, you two!", gesturing at a couple of seats beside them that soon got taken by another cousin and his parents. Sana made a face, and Seungcheol grinned. You were busy talking with another cousin, Samuel, who had also brought his partner with him. Seated at the far end of the table, near the empty seat of your grandfather, Seungcheol waited for dinner to begin.

Clinks of glasses and forks and knives slicing through meat and spoons ladling soup were the background music to the words that this huge family exchanged. Laughter rippled through the room, and slowly, the tension and formality that shaped conversations a while ago stopped.

"Is that Counselor Choi from the City Prosecutor’s Office?"

The matronly voice made everyone's heads turn, and all laughter died down.

Seungcheol saw your grandmother for the first time.

Dinner had long since started, but the way she gracefully sat down and the way her shoulders were set back made everyone excuse her for being late. Your grandfather silently took his place beside you, and you exchanged sweet smiles with him. Seungcheol watched as your grandfather leaned towards you, and he heard words like, “…talk to her…” come from his lips. Nervous energy engulfed the dinner table, and Seungcheol's ears must have been fooling him, because every clink and scrape of knives, and even the music, seemed to stop.

Your grandmother, beautiful despite her age, laid her eyes upon Seungcheol. Her eyes were neither kind nor cruel. The aloofness there could have thrown any stranger off, but the spark of interest that lit up her eyes compelled Seungcheol to return her gaze and to answer.

"Yes, ma'am." He could have called her something else, but this aura she exuded seemed to ask for something that formal. "Thank you for inviting me."

When she smiled, her expression was guarded as well. "My granddaughter is very fortunate to have met you. And you're welcome. Please, eat."

After greeting the other girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives seated around, the rest of the conversation was directed at other members of the family. Seungcheol learned that this side of your family was involved in medical and tourism careers. You were the only one he knew that had a different path from the rest of them. This hadn’t been obvious when he spent time with your parents, but on this table, careers and what you are doing to succeed in that career seemed to be very important. Careers steered the conversation.

"Ahyoung is planning on setting up a pediatric practice, Mother,” one aunt said as she set down her spoon. “She wasn't able to come because she had to tie up some loose ends with the clinic renovation."

"Working through the holidays? Ahyoung must be wanting to surpass my record as a workaholic." Chuckles around the table could be heard at this amusing remark from Grandmother. "The president of the hospital in that town is a friend of mine who could help her establish her practice. Tell her to give me a call so I can help her get in touch with him. How about you, Jaemin? I saw you on TV a week ago. You announced the opening of a...what was that...a museum?"

"A shrine recreation, Grandmother. We're currently in the process of recreating an entire temple from the Silla era. My archaeology team hit a huge find down south when they found the remains of what we initially thought was a hidden metropolis in the mountains. Turns out that was this temple where priestesses tried to read the stars—”

“—if you need a priestess to make your shrine look more realistic, you can hire me." Sana broke in as she winked at Jaemin, who immediately looked flustered. Younger cousins of yours immediately began doing their best to hold back their laughter and Seungcheol felt you giggle quietly beside him, too, as you drank your glass of wine.

"Sana, instead of ridiculing your older brother, why don't you tell us about the latest findings of your research? And congratulations, darling. My former colleagues in Gynecology have been telling me that your research will be of a huge benefit to their practice.”

"Well, we are still working on developing this fertility treatment, as you know already, and we have the goal of obtaining a much higher success rate than in vitro fertilization. So, for example, if the success rate of a thirty-five-year-old woman is only at thirty-nine-point-five per cent, we would try to raise that bar by giving her a fifty per cent threshold of success. It’s still at a very experimental stage at this point, Grandmother, but the labs have been working on it incessantly...”

Seungcheol stopped listening at that point. He focused on his food and on not letting go of your hand. Their topics were interesting and he would occasionally get roped into the conversation, but Seungcheol couldn't help but despair about the fact that there wasn’t talk about anything else except work and their different professions and future plans for their businesses or companies. It was the holidays, for goodness’ sake. There weren't many other stories shared aside from work life. Everyone seemed to be comfortable with that kind of setting, but it cut through Seungcheol deeply. Especially when he noticed that the questions didn’t get to you.

The dinner passed like that.

Grandmother rose from her seat, her height, willowy frame and white dress making her look even more imposing. Silence once again reigned, and she spoke.

“Y/N, may I speak to you in private for a moment?” It wasn’t a question. She spun on her heel and left.

Seungcheol knew that she expected you to follow. And you did, whispering, “I’ll be back” before rushing out of the dining room. When his eyes roamed around the table, he saw that everyone was looking at him, and he put his fork down. He didn’t know what to think of what just happened. Your mother followed you out soon after.

"Don't worry," Samuel said reassuringly. "Grandmother may look like a very hard woman, but she's actually soft on the inside--"

"--and she has the softest spot for Y/N." Sana smiled. "She would never admit to playing favorites, but we all know in this table that she loves Y/N the most."

At a later time, while relishing dessert, your history with your grandmother began to unfold from the table, where only your closest cousins remained, and Seungcheol listened to them intently.

They told him the story about a grandmother who wanted nothing but the best of life for her family. A grandmother who had done her best to live a life that she knew would become a good example to everyone who followed her. Despite her stern appearance, she wasn’t the rich and evil grandmother who forced everyone to do things her way. Surprisingly, she was one who encouraged her family members to pursue what they loved to do.

“You see, even though most of us work in the medical field, we didn’t get these jobs because someone told us to, or because the woman we look up to in this family. We became doctors and businessmen because we wanted these jobs. Our paths turned out this way, and we’re enjoying ourselves.” Sana paused, letting her words sink first. “All our parents and our grandparents asked of us was that we pursue our dreams intending to succeed. And that was where she and Y/N took a bad turn.”

“Everyone in this family had turned out to be exactly who they wanted to be.” The unspoken words after that sentence held weight. All except one: you.

“Grandmother just couldn’t understand why Y/N did not choose to become the singer that she wanted to be. And what made her more furious was the fact that she doesn’t see how good she could be.”

Music from the piano drifted into the dining hall. Someone was singing carols, and Seungcheol was jolted from his reverie when he heard soft laughter coming from the parlor as well. It was then that he realized that most of the family had gone back to the parlor, where it was evident that they all loved to spend time together.

“Only one person plays beautifully like that,” Jaemin remarked. Seungcheol noted the ring of envy and admiration on his voice as you all listened to the strains of a piano. “You’re a very lucky man. My cousin isn’t just someone you meet out there.”

“Which is why she’s the favorite,” Hyorin, another cousin of yours, commented. “In a family of doctors and business magnates, she stands out.” Hyorin stood up, bringing her glass of wine with her. “I’m going there to listen.”

Sitting on the piano, fingers making music in a way that spoke to the soul, was you. It was one thing to just play music. It was another thing when that music communicates with its listeners, making them feel something. People were humming the carols that you played, but you didn’t pay heed to them. Seungcheol knew that once you were seated on that bench, you were in another world entirely. You smiled at your relatives as they all sang out songs and gave her requests. Music tied you all together and brought out the beauty of the human inside. Work was forgotten as you sang together. From the corner of his eye, as he joined the men in belting out “Smile Flower” by a classic boy group from more than fifty years ago, Seungcheol saw your grandmother smiling—genuinely—and nodding with your parents, who were also looking at you.

A change of key quieted the room, and everyone tried to figure out what the song you were playing. But nobody could tell what it was, only that it was in A minor. They waited for you to sing.

And when you did, a song they’ve never heard before, a song Seungcheol had never heard before from you, rose from your lips.

“Tossing out the lines that were never truly mine // Throwing to the fire what was never truly fine // I am in a place where no doubt and fears can get me // I am safe tonight with lover and family // by the firelight // by the firelight // I could be me.”

Later, when you and Seungcheol had gone home and you were both staring into the hearth which served as the only light in the living room and warmed you both from the cold of the night, Seungcheol mustered the courage to ask you what your grandmother had told you when she pulled you aside right after dinner.

You smiled and said simply, “She doesn’t want me to become an assistant producer anymore.” Your hand laced with Seungcheol’s underneath the pale blue quilt wrapped around you both. “She wants me to get my music out there to the world. She said she wanted me to stop hesitating about my future.”

“And what do you think about her advice?”

You turned to him, and your eyes were moist, your lips trembling with emotion as you smiled. “Baby,” you said gently, leaning on his shoulder, “it’s not that simple.” You sighed. “And I know I might sound like such a coward to you, but I have a reason for not pursuing a singing career. Besides, I think I’m already too old for that kind of life.”

“Yeah,” Seungcheol playfully acknowledged, “twenty-seven is too old for that kind of life.”

You laughed, but your eyes remained sad. “Consider that a sub-reason as to why I don’t want to be a singer. I know that I’m breaking my family’s heart by choosing not to become one because they want to see me actually doing something that I love. But you see, I’m not really in that bad a position. I’m doing something close to what I truly love. And for me, that is enough.”

Seungcheol held you closer with his one arm. “But what is the reason why you don’t want to be a singer? I’ve always wondered why, too. I didn’t ask you before about this because I didn’t want you—”

“—I don’t want a life where my most beautiful escape—my music—will most likely end up being my darkest prison.” You weren’t looking at him, but Seungcheol knew from your voice that you meant your words, and you wanted him to understand. “I’ve seen it happen. Every day, I work with talented people who were brave enough to let the world see their lives and listen to their music. I help them shine like the stars they are, but I always witness them burn too brightly and die out too fast in the end. And I don’t want that kind of life for myself. I want my music to be mine alone and to whoever I want to give it to. I don’t want my art to be pressured by people’s expectations and desires. I don’t want that kind of life.”

“Tossing out the lines that were never truly mine,” he sang. “Throwing to the fire what was never truly fine. I am in a place where no doubt and fears can get me. I am safe tonight with lover and family. By the firelight, I could be me.” Seungcheol looked at you. “Is that why you sang this to your family? So that they won’t worry about you being miserable because you haven’t fulfilled your ultimate dream?”

You looked at him humorously. “My ultimate dream is to be your wife and the mother of your children, dummy.”

“Oh.” Seungcheol blushed. “I forgot about that part.”

You let out a huge breath. “But you’re right. I just wanted them to know that I’m okay with my life. At the same time, though, I can’t stop wondering if I am missing out on something that I know I want to try deep in my heart.”

“So try doing it.”

It was when you hesitated when he said those words that Seungcheol knew.

He kissed your temple gently. “Baby, I think you should at least try.” Seungcheol stared at you as you pondered what he said in your mind. He knew that a million thoughts, pros and cons and other factors were probably racing around in your head at this point, and he didn’t want you to do that. “Come on. On the count of three, answer my question: do you want to sing your songs out there in the world or not? One.” You didn’t budge. “Two.” You gripped his hand tighter. “Thr—”

“—yes.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and you looked at him, staring deeply into his eyes. “But I’m afraid of the cost it would ask of me.”

“The greater the risk, the greater the joy,” Seungcheol commented casually as he laid you down on the couch, smiling as he kissed you. “Try it.”

“Don’t you think I’m too old? Or that I look too—”

“—This is not about what I want. This is about what you want. Your life. Your future. Your dreams.” He gazed at you again, and he felt the same flush that had crept on his face when he first heard you sing, up in the mountains, in an orphanage. So many things had happened since then. And he pictured you in his head, living your dream, casting the same spell that you had enchanted him with on thousands of people.

A performer, not a producer. That’s who my granddaughter is. Your grandmother’s last words before you both went home lingered on his head as he kissed you. Making music and performing that music is what she does best, and what she has always wanted. Help her get to her dreams. Don’t let her give in to her fears.

By the hearth, as he made love to you—his hands planted on your hips, his painfully delicious rhythm bringing tears to your eyes—he could not get over the truth that, with or without the spotlight on you, you were an amazing woman already. And he knew that he would continue seeing you grow into someone he will always be proud to love and to be with. But in his mind, he could not shake off the image he saw of you, of who you could be if you just became brave enough to.

“What does your heart say?” he asked you, his hand running up and down your bare skin, your limbs tangled together. The fire in the hearth had gone down into sizzling embers and the quilt barely covered you both, but your skin pressed against each other was warm with the afterglow of your lovemaking. “What do you truly want to do?”

You looked up at him with no hesitation, his heart stopped to beat for a moment that felt like forever: because there, in the sparks of light that burst to life in your eyes, he could see the woman you are, and the woman you could be, evolving into one.

“Baby, I want to try.”

4 | spring, and through the seasons after

The train of your dress fanned around you in its lacy magnificence, and the sun could not help itself but touch the beautiful, delicate material with its glorious beams. The soft grass underneath your feet sighed as you passed, and bursts of color from the petals strewn by your nieces gave a beautiful contrast to the peaceful green of the grass and the muted white tones of your dress. You hear people’s voices as you pass them by, their whispers of congratulations and the flashes of cameras. You looked to the horizon, on the sleeping waters of the early morning ocean, which reflected the rosy blush of the first dawn of spring.

You heard the piano start its music, and you hear the viola and the cello in their sweet duet. You smiled at your friends and your family as you passed them by. The crown of flowers in your hair rustled as the wind blew, and your veil flowed along with your hair as that touch of breeze passed.

One more step until you reach him.

When your eyes locked with the man that you will vow to love and to cherish and to be with forevermore, flashes of seasons past appeared in your mind: summers where drops of sun would scorch your skin, and where the smell of petrichor would linger after brief showers of rain; the crunch of leaves beneath your boots, and the colder winds that you would brace against during autumn; the calming hush when everything falls asleep and shivers under blankets of ice and snow; and the first days of spring, like this one, wherein what was frozen through would turn back to healthy shades of green, awakening with a new purpose.

As more memories came to your mind, a song formed in your heart and became written on your mind as you took in Seungcheol’s smiling eyes, brimming with tears as your hand touched his.

“Hold me close, darling // never let go // make this feeling last forever and a day // let’s stay.” These words, for that one summer night, in an old town, where you slow-danced to guitar and dulcimer strings as lanterns swayed with the wind. “Run your fingers through my hair // say you won’t care // if this feeling lasts forever and a day // let’s stay...”

“I love you so much // that I couldn’t keep it in anymore. // I need you so // like the air I breathe to live one more day, so stay…” These words, for that time when you remembered yourself frantically running across sidewalks as the golden glow of streetlights blended with the colors of an autumn dusk, and crashing into the safe, strong arms that will continue to hold you for as long as this life lasts and after.

“You keep setting my soul on fire // you make everything worthwhile…” These words, for that winter night when you felt the blazing sparks of the fire by the hearth of your house, where you decided to take the risk of burning brightly like the stars with your music. “You’re the sun that made me shine like this, // you’re the love that I just can’t resist, so please stay…” These words, for all the moments that you had doubted and he had believed in you as you made your dreams come true. These words, because from the privacy of the firelight by the hearth to the adulation of thousands as you stood beneath spotlights, he had been there.

“Love, let’s stay…Stay this way.”

Each memory and each turn of the seasons that passed through your mind evoked a variety of emotions within you. And you know in your heart that the reason why you could recall them so vividly and feel them so profoundly is that you did not create them alone.

Your eyes take in the man whose companionship had completed the scenes in your head. Through the seasons, he had been with you. He had laughed with you. He had cried with you. He had grown with you. And unlike the seasons which come and go, he stayed.

And he never left.

As you said your vows and exchanged rings and as you sealed the promises made with a kiss, you knew: through the seasons, he had truly, and sincerely, loved you.

- Super-Late Leanne. ⏰

#seventeen #svtcreations #caratwritersclub #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #svt fluff #svt angst #seventeen choi seungcheol #svt choi seungcheol #svt scoups #seventeen scoups #cheol #seventeen hong jisoo #seventeen yoon jeonghan #HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!!!

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buckys-other-punk · 4 years

Text

Don’t You Dare Say Goodbye

Summary: Being together for what feels like a lifetime, comes crumbling down on you and Bucky.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: ANGST (i mean look at the title), bleeding, cussing, death, fight scene and Endgame spoilers? (i feel like we’ve all seen it by now)

Word Count: 1K (a lil short but woo sadness!)

Prompt: “I will protect you with my life.”

A/N: This is the first Endgame fic I wrote because I pretend like it didn’t happen. I feel like this was a bit cliche (but fuck it). Thank you @stuckonjbbarnes for letting me join your Angst vs Fluff writing challenge. Also small thanks to my babes @thorfanficwriter and @lostinthoughtsandfeelings for helping me decide how to attack people with angst lol. Lemme know what y’all think of this (feedback is very much appreciated). If you wanna be tagged in my future works shot me a message and I’ll happily add you! Please ignore the minor mistakes in this lol.

Fighting in a battlefield with aliens didn’t seem like the craziest thing when you first joined the avengers. You fought aliens before and even robots for god's sake, but this time seemed different. Everything had changed after Thanos’ snap five years ago. Everyone was trying to find their way back to ‘normalcy’ but you couldn’t bring yourself to what was done. Your best friend sacrificed herself to help your team make everything right. She wanted you to be happy again. She hated seeing you not act like your normal self. Natasha knew that you needed to be with the one you loved the most.

Bucky.

Prior to the snap you fought alongside Steve in Berlin, when he and Tony had their little argument. Though when you had to fight against your best friend, with the help of Clint, both of you were trying to go a bit easy for one another. You and Nat were practically sisters when you first joined the team, the two of you glued to the hip. Each of you knew the consequences when you had to choose sides, but it didn’t matter because the two of you knew that in the end you both would still be best friends.

When you sided with team Cap you grew close with Bucky. He told you some stories about when he and Steve were younger. It was nice to hear about how they defended each other back in the day and how their friendship reminded you of yours and Nat’s. Slowly the two of you began to have feelings for one another and if Nat was with you she would have teased you hard, but Clint was there to do the job. You and Bucky shared more and more things about your past, interests, dislikes and etc.

Sam was the first to actually do something because he was so annoyed with the two of you constantly flirting with one another. He actually went out of his way to make dinner reservations for the two of you. While Bucky was peeved about what Sam did, he was very grateful. For what felt like ages in that fancy restaurant you and Bucky felt complete. You both felt like you were the only people in the world. No universe. You couldn’t even describe how you both were feeling at that exact moment, but you knew that you both were meant for each other.

Now here you were killing aliens left and right with your trusty dual ended glaive, which could be taken apart and turned into two combat blades. You were getting tired of fighting these stupid things. When you felt like you had lost hope and that Thanos had won again, you heard Steve yell something behind you. Pulling out of your blades from the dead alien you turned around. You saw all these portals and many people come out of them charging towards the aliens you were fighting. You first saw Sam fly right out passing Steve and you from above. Your heart was racing, your friends were back. That must mean.

Bucky.

You ran past people fighting off Thanos’ crew. You needed to find him. You held both your blades conjoining them back to your glaive. you fought past aliens and rushed over trying to find him. You pass Wakandan soldiers and those who practiced the magic or the mystic arts like that man Tony talked about when he went to Titan to fight Thanos. So many things were happening around you and you honestly didn’t know when or if you’ll find him. Then that’s when you looked eyes with the man you have been looking for. The man you wished wasn’t dusted by the mad titan. The man you knew you were gonna marry if things didn’t go to shit.

“Bucky” you gasped, staring at him with tears in your eyes. It was like your prayers had been answered. You both ran towards each other like something out of a romantic movie scene. Both of you rushing over to finally be together after being apart for what felt like eternity. The two of you weaved around the people who were fighting trying to get closer and closer. Just when you both were a few feet apart you felt like you were getting slower and Bucky seemed like he was still far from you.

You began to feel lightheaded and you knew for sure you were slowing down. Looking down, as you could feel your combat suit getting wet. Bringing your hand to the spot and lifting it up to examine it you saw crimson liquid. You looked back up to where Bucky was then you fell to the ground.

“Y/N!” he yelled, running as fast as he could to get to you dodging everything and everyone. Right when he got to you he fell to his knees pulling you onto his lap.

“Hey doll, you’re gonna be just fine.” he smiled at you as he brushed the stray hairs out of your face looking down at your wound. You smiled at him with tears in your eyes knowing that his comment wasn’t true. You knew that whatever wounded you had no way of recovery.

“I missed you so much Bucky.” you said with tears now falling. You raised your hand to caress his cheek wiping away the tears that escaped his eyes.

“I missed you too, but you’re gonna be fine. We’re gonna get you out of here and get you back in shape ok.” he cried looking into your eyes.

“Baby, I don’t think I’ll make it.” you whispered as he held you closer.

“No, you will.” he exclaimed. “Remember I promised I would take you to Coney Island where we would ride all the rides and have different types of fair foods.” he smiled recalling the thought. You nodded yes in response. “We were supposed to go on the ferris wheel and that’s where I would propose to you.” he sobbed reaching in his pocket and pulling out a ring. You were crying at the thought. “And your response would be you teasing me about how cheesy a proposal on a ferris wheel is.” he chuckled.

“You know me so well Bucky.” you sniffled and you brought your hand up to the ring. He slid it down your finger and held your hand. Looking back up to your face he saw you were growing paler and paler by the minute. He didn’t care about the entire fight scene that was happening before the two of you. All he cared about was you. He finally got back. He can finally hold you in his arms again, but this isn’t how he wanted it to be.

“Doll, stay with me. Don’t close those beautiful eyes.” he cried. You were slowly blinking and tried your best to stay conscious for what little time you had left. You needed to be there for one last time with Bucky.

“Bucky, you need to promise me that you help Steve and the others fight Thanos. You need to promise me that you will help everyone.” you began crying.

“Doll.” Bucky said, trying hush you.

“No, Bucky. Promise me that nobody dies when I go because I can’t part with the idea of another member of my team dying.” you sobbed staring at his blue eyes.

Shaking his head he said, “If you die now, then I die too. I will kill myself to stay with you.” Placing his hand on your cheek wiping your tears away. You shook your head as you weakly leaned into his touch.

“Bucky, stop.” you said as your voice began to shake. Your eyes watering as you squeezed his hand.

“I will protect you with my life.” Bucky whispered as he placed his forehead on yours closing his eyes.

“No, baby. I need you to keep everyone safe, please. Do this for me. I don’t know how long I have left, but I know that everything will be fine. I’ll be ok because Nat is waiting for me. She’ll be looking after me until we meet again.” you whispered as you could feel all your energy and pain slip away.

Bucky leaned back to stare at you. “No doll, don’t you dare say goodbye. Y/N! I LOVE YOU PLEASE! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!” he sobbed as he watched you getting physically weaker.

“I love you, Bucky.” you shed a tear as you said your final breath. Bucky stared down at your lifeless body, held you closer and tighter as he cried harder.

A/N: Sad right? Did I make you cry? because I did when I wrote this. Man I love writing angst it brings me joy...god it sounds like i have no heart. Anyways please lemme know what you think of this sadness!

Crackhead Tags: @kitkatd7 @mr-skyline-r34 @chaoticpete @cheeky-foxx @msgreenverse @babygurlbarnes @hermionesalvatore84

Forever Tags: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @aquabrie @amour-quinn @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan @princess76179 @anbrax5553 @sebtheromanianprince @hailmary-yramliah @miraclesoflove @caplanbuckybarnes @saiyanprincessswanie @fandomsandxfiles

^lemme know if you wanna be added (or removed) to my tags^

#angstvsfluff #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky angst #reader insert #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #reader x bucky #reader x bucky barnes #marvel fanfiction #marvel angst

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sadaveniren · 4 years

Text

Annual Writing Evaluation 2020

Ssssssh I know it’s the beginning of January. I’m late. I was tagged by @daggerandrose and @lululawrence to do this. They were two slightly different ones so I just... Mashed them together. Whoops

1. List of Stories published this year: Did you let him leave a necklace (yup)

Fellowship of Eroda

Can we pretend (honestly reality bores me)

Tastes like strawberries

Just for tonight (I can be yours)

Fun time candles

The animals play

Knife’s edge

You’re outta control (what is your mind)

When you’re good to mama (he surprises you)

One shot two shot (you and me)

Clean up, clean up (everybody have some fun)

So wonderful and warm

Here comes the men in black (my soulmate)

Here to stay (here to play)

The happiest season

2. Word count posted for the year: 161,374 (jfc)

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Taste Like Strawberries

Bookmarks: Just For Tonight (I can be yours)

Comments: The Happiest Season

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): That’s tough. I know in another post I was like EVERY FIC I POSTED WAS A VICTORY and that’s true. I think I’m most proud of Here to Stay (here to play) because for an entire month every night I sat down and wrote start to finish a whole fic. Sure some of those Fics were 400 words but listen... I come from fandom of old where there were the 100 fic challenges and even trying to write 100 word Drabbles is HARD. You’re making a whole story every day and it felt good! I felt accomplished!!

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): I really really wish Here Comes the Men in Black (my soulmate) had come out different. I had much bigger plans and they got scrapped and I just. Wish things had gone different. But I was writing it as I struggled with the dreaded 4 month sleep regression which lasted TWO WHOLE FUCKING MONTHS AND I DID NOT GET MORE THAN 4 HOURS OF SLEEP AT A TIME FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS AND GOD IT WAS THE WORST SLEEP DEPRIVATION IS A SERIOUS HEALTH CONDITION. So the biggest thing to fall away during that time was my writing. And that fic sadly suffered because of it 😔

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: Every reviewer who commented during Kinktober and said that they weren’t usually a fan of the kink of the day but they trusted me enough to give the chapter a shot. A special shoutout to those who tried the rape fantasy chapter because of that trust.

A special SPECIAL shoutout to the asshole who asked me to tag every time I wrote girl direction for kinktober and told me they refused to read any of the chapters on the off chance I surprised them with a vagina or something.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: Literally all fucking year. March-April-May was a particularly fuzzy time for me. I think any writing I got done was on my phone, half asleep, with my fingers cramping

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Louis in Fellowship to Eroda was a lot of fun to write. That fic overall was really fun to write because I got to include a lot of DND stuff and some of my favorite dialogue was there.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: From You’re Outta Control (what is your mind)

“You wanna ride daddy’s cock?”

The train was barreling along and Harry knew he didn’t have much time to make his decision. He quickly nodded.

Louis made quick work of unzipping his fly and turning Harry around so his back was facing his chest. He pulled him back by his hips and settled him down on his cock.

They both moaned at the sensation, and being so exposed. And then they started to fuck. It was wild, erratic, and desperate.

“Just think,” Louis groaned, “if I had an alpha cock. How we wouldn’t be able to do this if I knotted you.” Harry’s breath caught and he wiggled his hips. “Or maybe we would. You stuck on my knot through fuck knows how many stops. People coming and going. Seeing you there. Squirming like a little slut.”

Harry gasped. His mouth hung open as he tried to suck in air and ride Louis’ cock at the same time.

“Louder,” Louis demanded. His voice was beginning to sound strained. “Want your moans to fill up the whole car.”

It took effort but Harry was helped along when Louis reached around and wrapped his fingers around his cock. Then he moaned and it echoed in the empty train car.

“That’s right. Fucking yourself on daddy’s omega cock. So much better than some alpha’s knot isn’t it?”

“Daddy,” Harry whined. He bounced faster, eyes closed. He knew if he didn’t come before the next stop he wouldn’t be able to stop and anyone who came onto the car would see.

“Think how much come you’d have to hide if I was some alpha. It would leak out. Drip onto the floor.” Harry gasped. He was so close and his cunt squeezed around Louis’ cock as he tried to pull Louis with him. “Instead you’ll be pumped full of my omega seed-“ Louis’ voice cut off as he came, pulling Harry down flush against his hips as he came in him.

Harry watched as his own cock squirted come onto the floor and he cried out in embarrassment and lust.

The train was still running as they both caught their breath and it only started to slow down for the next stop as Louis edged Harry off of his cock. Harry could feel the mix of his slick and Louis’ come starting to slide out of him as Louis pushed him to the ground.

“Clean daddy off,” Louis said. His fingers tangled in Harry’s hair as he pulled Harry’s mouth to his slick covered cock.

The train was slowing down. Harry’s heart was pounding in his chest as he got to his knees. He caught Louis’ eye. The lights from the station were starting to filter in through the window. Louis squeezed his fingers in his hair.

“What are you waiting for? These are expensive trousers and I don’t want your slick ruining them.” Harry could see the stain his slick had already left around the zipper of Louis’ trousers. “Clean me off.”

They jolted to a stop and the doors hissed open. Harry wrapped his mouth around Louis’ cock, licking him clean. He spread his legs as Louis’ come leaked out of him and onto the floor.

The doors dinged, singling they were closing and Louis pulled his mouth off of him. Harry stared up at him from where he was kneeling on the ground and Louis smiled.

“There’s a good omega. Come sit up next to me.”

Harry looked around. The car was still empty. His entire body sagged from adrenaline and he turned to kiss Louis. “We would have been in so much trouble if we’d been caught.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: I lost…. a lot of fucks. I used to agonize about the fics I put out, and I still did, but this year I waded through writing a lot of stuff that normally I wouldn’t just because I didn’t feel ~motivated~ that day. But between Kinktober, and my advent fic, and just, forcing myself to finish fics even when I felt uninspired, I produced a lot more than I planned and that’s really important to me! But it also means that I learned to let fics go a lot earlier.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: Continue to just… write. I don’t have any big things I want to work on. Maybe crafting overall non-romantic plots? I’m trying that out for my big bang…. we’ll see how that goes.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): @lululawrence and @londonfoginacup are literally my rocks in writing at this point. They were so helpful while I cried about not being able to finish any fics ever, and reminded me constantly to be kind to myself. Jenna and @becomeawendybird were also just so so encouraging and I think without them I would be absolutely lost.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: lol. Yes. Next.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: write smut horny, edit after. (or don’t like… fuck it no one reading your smut is gonna care when they’re getting off to it)

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: I’m focused on my big bang which I hope people will enjoy. And then… Man if I could finish my eternal WIP that would be EXCELLENT. But who knows!! Maybe a plot bunny will hit me.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. I think everyone has done this cause I’m late. Whoops.

#meme #my writing

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allforhader · 4 years

Text

Dream a Little Dream of Me

Bill Hader x (F) Reader

Requested By: @designersophisticate

Warnings: Langauge

[ e/c : eye color]

Having those second thoughts after years of a commitment you thought was going to last until you’re buried six feet under...yeah. As much as that is dark. I never thought I’d feel this way about someone again.

“Hey, Y/N did you see that TMZ article?”

“Kristen the fact that you’re saying TMZ, I’m already disinterested”

“Well yeah. But if it’s about you, shouldn’t you read it?”

“What’s so interesting about my life that’s got TMZ all over it?” Y/N laughs at the thought because besides being a married successful actor, what interesting thing can they get?

“As much as TMZ isn’t the best source the fans should look at, this stuff can still hurt actors” Kristen states showing Y/N the article off her phone.

Y/F/N Y/L/N seen with Bill Hader without their significant others—Is there something there?

Y/N gave it a neutral look before handing Kristen her phone back. “Textbook rumor, hell. It was probably a teen that wrote that”

“Are you going to tell Bill or have him find out himself?”

“Knowing him and media, I’m gonna have to tell him” Y/N laughs before pulling up the article on her phone and sending it to Bill.

Bill: Wow. Haha, that’s a textbook rumor

Y/N: Thats what I told Kristen lol

Bill: So...You’re already in New York for SNL Saturday right?

Y/N: Right?

Bill: You want to grab drinks? Night before of course

Before Y/N can say anything more she stops herself from replying when her husband texted her. A smile formed on her face loving that he did but there’s so much more to it...

Evan: Hey baby!

Evan: Hope New York ain’t that humid like it is here. Honestly if it weren’t for our careers, we would totally be in a colder state. Can’t stand the heat

Evan: but yknow. LA is home lol

Evan: Speaking of LA, TMZ made a ridiculous article lmao. If I didn’t know already that you and Bill are just friends, I’d be worried. But again...It’s TMZ

Evan: Anyway! I love you

Y/N: I love you too

Bill frowns seeing she hasn’t responded and feels like he’s come on a little strong when...it’s just drinks.

“Hey, you gotta get going or you’ll miss your flight” Maggie smiles handing Bill his coat before he left.

He of course kisses his wife goodbye, but the lingering feeling in his chest grew.

When Bill was in the air he decided to shoot a text to Y/N indicating that he invited their friends but Y/N didn’t receive it. Reception and everything. But—

Y/N: I’d love to

was sent before Bill’s when his plane landed and he didn’t realize until it sent.

Bill: I invited Kate, Kenan, Fred, and Kristen...John is a maybe and Seth isn’t going to be in town.

“Shit. Should’ve—-fuck” Bill frowns waiting in baggage claim when Fred scared the man out of the blue. Even if Bill did know he was his ride.

Y/N sat in her hotel room staring at the text for a minute before checking the time and suddenly getting a semi crazy idea.

Y/N: You told me the other day you got a late flight...wondering if you want to order in some room service at my hotel room. If you’re not tired

Bill: Fred picked me up from the airport if you don’t mind him tagging along

Y/N: More the merrier :)

More the merrier...

After arrival and ordering in, Fred and Bill had already started to argued with each other about true crimes as Y/N sat back watching the two go back and forth. She laughs as she drinks her wine.

“So does it always end with her snapping?”

“No but when she snaps-“

“She snaps”

“Okay” Y/N laughs setting down her glass as Bill couldn’t help but smile enjoying her laugh.

“Well. I’m gonna get some sleep. I’ll see you two tomorrow” Fred got up giving Bill a look before leaving the two alone.

“Damn and I was just starting to enjoy your talk about true crime. I’m more into medical dramas”

“Like Grey’s?”

“Oh definitely Grey’s” Y/N smiles laughing as Bill moves himself beside her on the bed leaning against the headboard. “Did you even start it when I recommended it to you?”

“Okay I got up to season...eight and that is a shitton of Drama for me to handle”

“And yet you watch Snapped like it’s something you can’t live without”

“Ok ok...Snapped. Is the greatest show that I don’t even have a valid reason to explain why I like it so much.” Bill states looking over at Y/N as he...found himself lost in a thought.

Can’t really say the thought hasn’t crossed my mind. What if my life would’ve been different if I met Y/N before I got married? It clearly would’ve been different but would life have gone the same route as it is now...I’m lucky. Fuck. Lucky she’s in my life as it is...just

Friday rehearsals went by fast, Bill got a kick out of watching Y/N take off the liquid latex off her eyebrows. He laughs as he hands her the makeup wipes to get off the residue. Y/N rolls her eyes flicking Bill in the forehead for laughing at her.

“Y/N, John is looking for you. Wants to run lines again” Fred smiles watching Y/N clean up a bit before going to find John.

“Didn’t John leave before the rest of us?”

“Yeah but I wanted a minute to ask you”

“Ask me what?”

“I don’t know. Guess I’m stalling” Fred wasn’t stalling, he honestly wanted to be nosey asking if anything more happened when he was gone. He didn’t think exactly that. But the thought did cross his mind. “Uh. So about drinks tonight. That’s still down?”

“You really has to ask without Y/N present? Yeah it’s still down” Bill laughs patting Fred’s back before grabbing his things.

Soon the gang was hitting the bar late and really just enjoying each other’s time. Fred handed Kristen and Y/N their drinks as Kenan handed Kate and Bill theirs.

“You owe new a game of darts Fred”

“You are so on” Fred laughs at Kenan as he immediately got up from the booth.

“So Y/N, how’s your life in LA?” Kate smiles. “I have a role down there and wanted to know if there’s anything worth it”

“Well if you’ve in LA as long as I have, it’s pretty much worth seeing everything. When you have the time of course” Y/N smiles taking a sip of her wine catching Bill’s gaze on her which instantly made him look away.

“None of us have been in LA as long as you have. Literally. The phrase that “no one is from LA” is true when it comes to you” Kristen smiles watching Y/N shrug. “What’s stopping you from leaving?”

“Yeah, and don’t say career. Because you can easily live here and become a full on regular for SNL. Also get a few gigs here” Kate states as Y/N rolls her eyes smiling.

“I would do anything to get out of LA...but yknow. My husband is the reason.”

“God I hate that” Bill says out of the blue catching all three of them staring at him as he quickly downs his scotch. “Um. Y’know. If they really love and support you. You can do anything. But if they don’t...”

“They aren’t the one for yeah” John cuts in sliding into the booth beside Y/N. “Sorry for coming late. Had to get a few last minute ideas run by Lorne”

“You’re all good. But Kenan and Fred have beat you to the dart board”

“Shit. I call winner, re-fills?” John asks catching a nod from everyone but Y/N. “Want a new drink or?”

“Or...I’m gonna walk back to my hotel. Not feeling that great”

“Already? Damn...well at least get drinks with me when I’m in LA?”

“Of course Kate, see you guys tomorrow” Y/N smiles grabbing her coat and leaving the booth.

Bill watches her go giving John a look as he shrugs pointing with his eyes. He immediately got up going to catch up with her. She wasn’t far...but he hesitated for a second.

“They aren’t the one for yeah” Thanks John. I’ll be thinking about that for the rest of my life. Or well...the rest of my marriage.

Y/N froze when she heard fast movement behind her indicating the short run Bill made. She looks at him confused as he gave her a concerned look.

“We...are in the same hotel. Want to walk with me?”

“Yeah..I do” Bill states catching a very light tint of pink growing on Y/N’s cheeks as she quickly looked away. “Um. Are you only leaving because of what I said?” he asks as they started walking side by side.

Yes. Because...well what am I supposed to say to you? I can’t live to you. You’re one of my best friends. Someone I can be honest with. But you...make my mind go blank for a good minute. Forgetting that I’m married. Married to someone I’m just trying to make it work with at this point...I love Evan don’t get me wrong...but god what would I do—

“Uh. Can I lie saying it didn’t bug me?”

“So it bugged you”

“Little bit”

“I’m sorry” Bill frowns wishing he didn’t say it at all or let his emotions be a factor in it all.

“Be honest with me?”

“Always”

“Are you and Maggie okay? Because there....um. Must’ve been more to it personally than the obvious” But what’s the obvious? That I’m in love with you? Shit.

“Well, she loves me. I love her. But...the feeling is mutual. We haven’t talked about it entirely but when...the spark dies. It dies” Bill said bluntly making Y/N think too hard about what he just said. She didn’t want to feel bad, a part of her felt differently. “We really just yknow what to get everything in order before officially”

“Yeah no...I get it. Well. Yeah I do. I get it” Y/N frowns before flinching to the sudden boom.

Bill looks at Y/N freak a tad to the boom which was the sound of thunder. It’s not New York without one day of rain. Let alone lightening. He instantly wraps his arm around her out of instinct directing her under an awning.

“Should’ve...taken a cab”

“Mm. We can make it. If you trust me out in the rain”

“If we get electrocuted. It’s God hating me” Fuck.

I trust him.

I know she trusts me.

He wouldn’t have said that...if there wasn’t something.

She doesn’t like talking about Evan. Could there...

There’s something else

Fuck. Be true.

I’m...Ive been....

After all these years...I can’t just call her a friend.

“Fuck. Even in a jacket I’m soaking....fuck” Y/N was shaking but not because of the rain. Being afraid of thunder is a completely different story that she didn’t have the time to explain, when her mind is wondering.

“Come on...you should get out of the wet clothes” Bill says as he rests his hand on her cheek catching her gaze. Her beautiful e/c eyes looking up at him catching a whole other feeling.

After getting out of her wet clothes, Y/N opens her hotel room door looking up at a very distressed Bill. She frowns letting him in and once the door closed, he turned back to her taking her face into his hands kissing her.

I shouldn’t have done that.

...mutual

Fuck

Y/N shortly after pushed Bill off giving him a worried look before suddenly laughing and breaking down into tears. I’m sorry.

“Y/N—“

“I-...God. You have no idea Bill Hader. No fucking idea”

“What do you mean?” Bill frowns trying to comfort her but Y/N retracted herself.

“I feel so out of place here. Like. God. You drive me insane! And I don’t mean in a negative way. It’s never in a negative way. I’m just—-terrified!” Y/N laughs as she choked up on her tears. “I’m...I’ve been in love with you ever since we got close. But I’m married—you’re married—-and adultery is a fucking....sin? Hell I’m not religious but it is! Like Bill don’t get me wrong” She states resting her hands on his chest looking up at him as he continued to have a worried look. “I...I want to be with you. But I can’t...can’t do that to Evan.”

Bill watches her continue to cry as he takes in a deep breath before exhaling and resting his hands on her cheeks making her look at her. “It’s terrifying...falling in love again...especially to someone who has already locked that down. You’re...not alone in that boat. And I....I don’t want to give you an ultimatum or whatever the right word is called but...”

But?

“I’m willing to wait until the end of my lifetime to be with you. I know the next chapter in my life and my wife is on the same page. But the one after that...I’m willing to wait forever if I have to. If it means being with you. I’m not going to force you Y/N. You mean the world to me, but I don’t want to hurt you for eternity by forcing you”

And that’s that. He said that and Y/N took it to heart. Knowing exactly the next thing she does.

Is her choice.

The two haven’t seen each other in six months the after that SNL night, let alone talk to each other. Bill got a divorce, and he has set time for himself until he got a role at the end of that six month period heading straight for New York. Pretty common place for movies to be shot but he didn’t want to go anywhere crazy at that moment. Stepping onto set first day meeting the people you’ll be working with for months wasn’t a hard thing to do, but being handed a physical script that has the character list within it. Bill took his seat at the table read opening the script and reading-

“Hey Hader” Y/N smiles sitting beside him setting down her copy of the script and her tea. “It’s been a while”

“It has...you cut your hair” Bill smiles admiring the new look of hers. Y/N shot him a smile before elbowing him.

“Working out for Barry still Huh?” Y/N smiles catching a laugh as Bill nods crossing his arms. “You’re perfect no matter what. Y’know that right?”

“I do, do you?”

“Of course” Y/N smiles as the two straighten up when it got time for the actual read.

Afterward...

“You have a ride?”

“Rental”

“Oh shit. Hold on. Did you pay for a hotel room yet?” Y/N asks confusing the fuck out of Bill as she laughs at the confused look. “Just answer it Bill”

“Not yet. I just got in to be honest”

“Stay with me then” Y/N smiles. “I live in a loft on 408 Greenwich Street...it’s not that far and I have plenty of room”

“Lead the way?” Bill tosses her his keys as Y/N smiles nodding.

She’s...still the same happy girl when he first met her. Even if they both been through a lot the past six months. A lot has changed but the one thing Bill worried about...hasn’t changed. Because she doesn’t want their relationship to change until...then

Bill looks out into the street from her loft’s window. It’s not that bad of a neighborhood. Makes him wonder if it’s ever crazy loud at night or if it’s safe. He wants her to be safe.

“So, how long have you been here?”

“Uh. A month. But I put a down payment two months ago. It’s nice right? Not too big. Not too small. Just right...” Y/N smiles walking over standing beside him. “How are you? How’s everything in LA?”

“I’m good. Everything is good” Bill smiles. “And you? Evan?”

“Well, the decision wasn’t mutual. But it brought more things to light. So...Yknow. It was a matter of time” Y/N shrugs. “But hey. We are finalizing it. He’s still in LA and I’m here. Kinda...starting over. Turning a new leaf” she laughs at how that can sound but he understood. He understood completely.

“So, I know...the wound is still fresh. But baby steps huh?”

“Yeah” Y/N smiles taking his hand into hers feeling him gently squeeze. “Baby steps”

#bill hader #bill hader gifs #bill hader x reader #sorry it took a while lol

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writingsofmyimagination · 5 years

Text

Conjecture |12|

Idol Reader Au, Enemies to Lovers AU

Summary: Your management refused to renew your contract unless you collaborated, so you ending up working with Min Yoongi. A guy you’d disliked from before both of your debuts. There is more to their past than meets the eye.

Links to other parts: | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |11|

So this will be the penultimate chapter :)

Hope you guys have enjoyed the series.

Words:4600

Rating:18+

Warnings: SMUT!! (BDSM themes, Sub Yoongi, Slight exhibitionism maybe, squirting, pegging) Swearing, alcohol comsumption. General sass.

Permanent Tags: @msunnsstuff @rosey-roseu @eyelessmin @backtonormalthings

Reblog, Like, Comment

I’ve done some Domme reader stuff that I haven’t done before so please comment on how i did :P

It’s been two months since Yoongi heard those three words slip past your lips from your lips in the hotel room. He made love to you that night like you couldn’t believe. He didn’t let you lift a finger because you were exhausted, especially after the performance and the emotional drainage loaded onto you that day. He worshipped your body, like the goddess he truly believed you were. Everywhere your body liked to be touched received his lips in the form of a kiss or light nip. Your body was subject to wave after wave. You were left a wrecked, exhausted shaking victim of his tongue technology.

It had been a week since Yoongi had heard you mutter those words in person. You’d been in the in the States. You’re reunion was going to be at a house that you knew pretty quickly you’d wanna excuse yourselves from. The … had been gently stroking at your walls since you left the airport. You were slowly getting needier and needier and every bump and damn pot hole was making it worse. If Yoongi had been good and done what you’d asked then he would have a smooth silicon butt plug making him just as needy.

Why do I do this to myself

-How long are you going to be?-

-Missed me huh? :P-

-Is it a crime? And besides Tae keeps trying to get me to dance and linking arms with me…help-

-Lol, I will pay extra to see this. I’m here anyway-

The bass could already be felt through the lit porch. The wide white door with gold embellishments; the window to the party inside. The house was extravagant, so says Greek god of music Apollo posing for the stone fountain you passed on the way to the porch.

“About time you showed up, pretty sure Yoongi is swamped with Tae affection and needs you” Lee chuckled welcoming you inside.

“I’ll make sure I take my time getting a drink then, thanks for inviting me by the way”

The annex floor war marble, the black pattern laced in the white marble resembled mosaic, this room was clear but the noise flooded out through the open living room door.

“Oh please, how much have we worked together these past two years. You basically lived in my here for two months this year” He wasn’t wrong he’d near enough help you produce most of your last album.

“Alright! I was just being polite jeez!” he slid your coat off your shoulders storing in in the cloak room large enough to be a childs room.

You followed him through to the king sized kitchen. The flurry of people drifting in and out, in addition to the smalls groups conversing conveniently next to the generous snack table the kitchen appeared to be much more cramped. You responded to a few smiles and waves in turn; there was a fair share of Idols around; as well as dancers, producers and various other roles from the music industry. All the alcohol bottles were shoulder to shoulder along the back of kitchen unit.

“Mixers all in the fridge, you good?”

“Yeah, yeah” you were already eyeing up the different flavour gins. His only response was a thumbs up and he merged seamlessly through the people and out the back sliding doors.

Mid pouring the lemonade arms wrapped round your front and you were squeezed tightly, all with added sound of a high pitch squeal.

“Oh my god I’m soo glad to see you” Sophie squealed. When you were released you turned to find her and a couple of the hair stylists from your company equally brimming with slightly drunk infused glazed over eyes. Karen was already handing you a shot. Sambuca! The worst!

When your sambuca disgust face twitching stopped you followed the girls outside. The sun was low in the sky, ready to pass the illumination baton on to the tall lamps dotted around the pool. The swimming pools lights were already glistening below the calm blue as perfect yellowy ovals. The calm blue was disturbed by a couple of splodges of green, white and pink; an inflatable dinosaur and unicorn ring were happily bobbing on the surface. Untouched, for now at least. You didn’t need to scan the mass of smart casually dressed people around the pool for long until Hobi’s laugh pierced through the music yanking your gaze to where your legs were now taking you.

Of course, it was right next to the music deck. Underneath the permanent veranda. ….. had moved his music deck outside, as far as you could tell there was no one actually manning so the music must be from the speakers with just the option to mix. You clapped eyes with Tae, a grin and an amused shake of your head greeted him. He chuckled, Yoongi’s hand captured firmly under his arms. You shushed him. You wanted to enjoy every miniscule reaction up close. Yoongi was naturally trying to pull away from affection to find solace in the chairs in front of him. When you were easily within range Tae let go stepping behind for you to come darting behind Yoongi wrapping your arms around him.

“Seriously, I swear to god I will end you!” Yoongi warned, blind to the more feminine hands at his waist. The other boy’s mouths dropped which hastily got covered to shield their amusement.

“Rude!”

His body stiffened before fighting in your grip to turn and face you

“Babe.. I’m so sorry I thought you were Tae” You kept your face straight for as long as you could to enjoy the panic washing over Yoongi’s face. It was a mere and feeble few seconds before you erupted into a giggle. You could feel eyes migrate onto you; as much as you were amongst your own industry and there were no paparazzi the two of you were still pretty big news.

“Hey” the saccharine low voice melted into you like butter on a hot crumpet.

“Hey” you replied, his hands dropped to envelope yours into a squeeze. His lips were screaming to you, begging for yours to comfort them but you were not a huge PDA fan. Yoongi who seemed more than happy using you as an excuse to go sit down and out of the zone of dancing Tae; who’d now moved onto Jin who was much more pliant.

“You look nice” Yoongi spoke plainly clambering through the glasses on the table until he reached his wine.

“I look nice?” You mocked teasingly

“You haven’t seen me for a week and you just say I look nice?” you goaded further. His eyes rolled, smile twitching at his lips.

“God! you’re sooo demanding what do you want me to say?” he whined sparkle glinting in his eyes.

“I missed you, can’t wait to have what nice clothes you are wearing on the bedroom floor while I fuck you until your begging me to stop”

The remainder of your mouthful of drink sprayed onto the stone, darkening Infront of you. Your glance quickly scanning your immediate surroundings for potential heard ears. Your core clenching around your toy. The dampness of your underwear becoming mildly uncomfortable.

Did he just?...out loud? Where has my shy Yoongles gone

“Well… I mean that’s certainly more… interesting”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, not bad, if it was me though I probably woulda said… missed you can’t wait to have my mouth round your cock drinking down your cum”

“Ooof touché. Now no more otherwise you’ll start giving me…issues. Where’s Sophie and Karen disappeared off to?”

“Well we wouldn’t want that would we” pecking him on the cheek.

“No doubt to get me more shots to catch up, has Lee played your track yet?”

“Not yet he’ll, he’s got my memory stick”

“You trusted him with the password? Bitch you don’t even give that to me!” you whined.

“Damn right I don’t last time I did you put our private videos on there, I don’t need that kind of distraction when I’m at work”

“Not my fault you have no restraint”

You were right. Sophie and Karen had fought their way back over to you each with two glasses in their hands. Jaegerbombs.

“The hot tubs freee and has our name on it…” You’d packed your bikini in your overnight just for this. You wrote some of your favourite tracks from your last album in that hot tub.

“You saw Lee wave at Yoongi flagging him over

“You guys go I’ll be like 5 mins, got to hear what my boys made”

“Babe, you’ll hear it wherever you are, you go I’ll catch you in a bit” The kiss to your forehead signalling finality

“Fine!” you huffed squeezing his hand off your waist

“Sure it’s not just because you want me in a bikini quicker?” you teased out loud.

“You flatter yourself way too much” He countered acting disinterested; the glint of insincerity clear as day through his eyes. The hand he’d refused to let go now slid from his grasp.

The appeal of the hot tub was it was embedded into the floor. You stepped down into the shimmering warmth. A square area immediately around the circular pool the floor matched that you’d find in a sauna. You’d be on your knees on the seat of the tub, relaxing undulation of bubbles swarming your skin while you’d be writing lyrics on the wood, elbows growing sore with how fast your ideas were flowing out. The biggest appeal was the one-way glass, you could see the pool and if the patio pool area was free of swarms of people you had an aesthetic view of the skyline. The blanket of lights from the sea of buildings of Seoul.

The flow of water was circling and bubbling away, diffusing weakly into your tired muscles. The condensation had made the room soothingly stuffy and warm. The one-sided glass leaving the three of you in a tranquil heat filled space. You’d initially packed an overnight bag as you weren’t sure if you’d be staying at Yoongi’s or yours. You’d packed a few… extra things for Yoongi which you made sure were coated underneath the pyjamas.

The music filtered through the speakers in the top corner of the room, your ears alert for Yoongi’s new music that he’d refused to share with you. You’d tried every legal blackmail your mind could possible to torture Yoongi. When it came to music you’d very quickly learned he was as stubborn and private as you. You’d only hear it when he was happy for everyone to hear it; the only way you’d hear something before was if you were actually collaborating.

“Don’t you think Kihyun is looking damn good tonight” Karen cooed.

“You’d eat that boy alive” you chuckled

“How do you know I haven’t already?” she challenged from the side of the hot tub, the thin waves of steam failing to cover her deceptive smirk.

“Oh come on! you know Wonho would have told me” triumph filled the air. The three of you shared amusement

“You still talk to him then?”

“Not as much, but we’re still close”

“Well that’s hardly surprising most of your messages were absolute filth.”

“Well, there is that” you laughed, Sophie blunt as always.

“Anyway cheers girls, you bitches are the best” Glasses klinked, the beat of a song you’d never heard before started seeping into the room

“Oooh this must be it” you buzzed, the lower tones and bars of music ringing true of Agust D.

Your heart thumped to the bottom of your stomach, lead weighted. Blood plummeting southwards leaving your face drained. The sounds reaching your ears unbelievable.

“Well that’s erm different” Both girls eyes on you to gauge your reaction, you’d not moved. Face frozen eyes stuck wide.

“Wait…that’s not you…is it?” Your stiff expression face obviously confirming. The whole intro of the song he’d mixed in was the unmistakeable sounds of your moans. You completely blocked out anything when the lyrics started.

“I’m going to kill that asshole” Your shock morphing into pure anger out of embarrassment and self-preservation from m completely falling into tears.

“That’s a fucking dick move, he didn’t even ask?” mouth falling into a O.

“Would I want to hurt him if he did? I mean Jesus how could he, that’s so humiliating”

“He’s an artist right, you guys get soundbites from everywhere, people won’t even think it’s you. No one would expect Yoongi to do something like that. And it’s remixed pretty good, it’s pretty sexy actually”

“Don’t you even dare support this”

“I’m just saying” Karen shooting to defensive mood

“And anyway, that’s beside the point! How could he do that to me”

He is going to learn the full meaning of in dog house back home and he’d be a fool if he didn’t know that already.

When the songs was at its end the crept open. As soon as you saw his face you made sure you gave him daggers, right now you hoped they were primed and sharp. His hesitant movement into the room, sheepish aware of the wolf’s den he knew he was sacrificing himself to. Swim shorts over his shoulder.

“We’ll just go” Karen elbowing Sophie.

“What the actual fuck Yoongi! Your joking if you think you’re getting in” you seethed. He took a small step forward but no further. The barrier of your blood boiling giving him no choice but to choose wisely and come no closer.

“I’m…sorry, it was a complete accident, please let me explain” He rushed.

“An accident?” you scoffed.

“You don’t make a whole fucking song by accident, I don’t even wanna hear it. Do you know how embarrassing that was?” His head drooped low, eyes regretful looking up desperate at you.

“No one knows it’s you…I”

“You don’t know that! That’s besides the bloody point, you used something private without even asking for permission” He slumped himself down on the wooden bench that ran along half the room.

“I know I’m sorry, it wasn’t meant to be played”

“Oh the song you’d made that Lee Asked if you could play at his party you mean?” you snapped.

“I made two versions!” his voice never even raised but it strongly spoken.

“I thought I’d removed that one off the memory stick, he obviously played the wrong one” You churned the fact that actually he’d never meant the song to be heard through the grinder of your thoughts.

“Please forgive me I never meant to…” he pleaded

Fine!

“You know what fine! If you didn’t play it on purpose… just get out I’m too angry, I need to cool off” he stood without a word of contest. He knew by now how hot blooded you were. Eyes never leaving the floor, the now wounded sheep made his way towards the door. His face wringing the anger from your body as quick as it had flared. Leaving you empty with just guilt for company.

“Yoongi wait”

“Want to make it up to me?” He recognised your tone, he recognised the devilish smirk slowly creeping across your face.

“I’ll do anything you want” Instant submission.

Good boy

“Well that’s exactly what I want, lock the door, get changed and come in”

He joined you in simple black swim shorts, his V-lines more prominent than the last time you saw him. As soon as he settled you straddled his lap. A spring recoiling in his arms looping round your waist to hold your hips. He shouldn’t get to touch you, you wanted to pin them but you’d missed his touch too much to argue with yourself. You let it be, for now.

“You need to stop working out” You delayed his reply

“Wh..y” you went onto his lips, hard; catching his bottom lip between his teeth with just a much force. You heard the soundless exhale, a soft breeze from his lips. The growl was stuck in his throat but your hand felt it where it was resting loose on his throat.

“You can’t be hotter than me. Now are you ready to be a good boy and do exactly as I say?” his amused smile switched to an open mouth whine; dragging his hair back in a short tug.

“Well that’s impossible and yes I am yours to use” to hear those words roll off his lips was just…

“Sit up on the side I can’t have you make me cum with all this water” You clambered off him to resume the same position.

“I’ve missed those hands and I know how much you like to use them but to make it more of a punishment I won’t be moaning for you or calling your name” Your ability to do this was partially his fault, when you’d stay at the dorm with the others Yoongi actually wanted to keep things quiet from his brothers. You would always make sure you’d seduce the fuck out of him so he couldn’t refuse. You’d test how quiet he could be and he did the same. So in short it was actually mostly your fault.

You pulled at the bow at the back of your neck, the top flawless in the way it fell from your skin. You held it up biting your lip letting it fall from your hand. Yoongi pulled at the tie just below your hip, bottom lip also disappearing becoming victim of a bite. The lustful coffee swirls of his eyes focused on yours waiting for approval before he removed it from your glistening skin.

The grip of your hands tightening on his shoulders, his hand dipping, tracing his fingers from your neck down, your chest rising under his touch, through the valley of your breasts. His palms flipping up when they reached between your thighs. Pursing the heavy breath through your lips, dissipating the moan in your throat. Both your foreheads pressing together eyes challenging each other in a battle of unbridled lust. Throwing your white flag back with your head when his finger pressed to the front of core, too quickly finding the precious velvet wall. The double hit being in this position his palm was also pressed against your even more precious bundle of nerves. Your neck quickly succumbed to a wave of open-mouthed wet kisses; each igniting a different line of nerves rerouting them between your thighs. Your chest pressed to him your back arched in a perfect crescent. He tilted you back slightly leaning further to you. His fingers could go that much deeper. His palm pressed to your clit with just more pressure. Before your head buried in his neck the unknowing hustle of the people received such an arrogant devilish smirk before a harsh thrust of his hand had you clamping down on his shoulders. He was trying to make you lose your own game. All your moans you made sure were caught in your throat.

“Fuck this is infuriating without you moaning” Yoongi breathed in your ear. His fingers pumping harder.

You could support less and less of your own weight; you became heavier in his hand and lap. He knew he had you.

You fell completely apart, your legs tensed so hard convulsing around his thighs. His fingers still pressed hard to the front of your walls; palm still snug on your clit. He hooked his finger harder inside you, the next pulse of your muscles with the pressure of his fingers right there caused something deeper to release

Your cry flooded past your lips, the moan and expletives loud and breathless in Yoongi’s ear. If his shorts weren’t wet from the hot tub, they’d definitely be soaked with you.

“Did you just?” he asked through heavy exhale, smugness caked on his face.

“I did just”

“That was…so fucking sexy”

“Great punishment” he toyed like a brat.

“Oh babe I’m not done” The glint in your eyes made sure he knew. You tugged his hair dragging his head so your mouth was next to his ear

“I’m going to fuck you from behind while you look out at everyone. I want you think how much of a good boy you are”

“What? You can’t?” you’d already got yourself out of the hot tub.

“And why not?” You challenged, fully prepared for his response.

“Don’t you need…”

Yes I do you thought to yourself holding the harness in your hand

“You brought that to a house party?” the wideness of his eyes briefly sheltered the mischievous creases that built in the corners of his lips.

“Well I was hoping I’d be coming to stay at yours”

“But seriously…here?” he still challenged

“Oh so you don’t mind making me squirt like that, but fucking you is a bit too far?”

You butted in before the guy had a chance to respond

“Now stop being a brat, I want those off and you bent over the side of the tub” The lack of smile and piercing eyes dissuaded any more backchat.

The gold metal buckle lightly pinched the skin at your hip as you stepped into the pool. Yoongi’s head already resting on his arms. He exhaled through his teeth, your hand gently reached around and wrapped at the base of his cock.

“Are you so hard it hurts yet?”

“Getting there” he admitted, the colour fading back into his knuckles when you let him go

“Well you’re not going to cum from this” you warned.

“That’s never not happened” The complaint coming through a low echo with his head weighted on his hands

“You’ve been doing sooo much better. You’re just going to try extra hard for me today. Promise I won’t make it too difficult”

“If you do then you’ll just have to go without making me cum for a month. And you know I’ll make you watch when I do it myself”

“Ready?” hand slick with raspberry lube stroking the thin purple silicone shaft.

“What do you say?”

“I’m sorry for playing that song…ugh!” If he was going to say anymore, he didn’t with you teasing

“Thank you, now ask for it. Ask for your punishment like a good boy” His head took a quick glance up soaking up the view. He couldn’t deny it had definitely become quite a kink. The danger and the audacity of it just ruffled his feathers in all the right ways.

You deemed the silence too long. Fingers skipping up his spine, twizzling in his hair. Sharp tug.

“Ugh!”

“I’m waiting”

“Fuck me…please… I won’t cum…I don’t deserve it” His words hitting you like honey, sweetening right in between your thighs

“God, you drive me crazy when ..” Your leg propped up, hand resting at the base of his neck. Another hand tight on the masterpiece of his ass.”

His head dropping, groans deep in his throat. Hips slow pressing into him.

“Head up, look straight” Knocking your hips in a jolt against him

“I want you looking at all those people while I fuck you”

“Do you think they’ll be surprised to know how much you love it when I have you from behind” You leaned as far forward as you could, slithering your words at the top of his spine. Feeding into his love for you dirty mouth.

He was attempting to choke his moans away, half conscious of the open space of the room. He was struggling to hold himself together. When he’d whine a certain way, you knew he was close so you’d stop and give him a moment to control himself. You weren’t feeling cruel enough to actively try and make him fail.

Your hips had slowed now, and the long drawn tortured moans you were rewarded with. Oof. You could have quite easily stopped and wrapped the mouth he loved so much around his cock and given him the release he so desperately needed. You didn’t.

“I…can’t…anymore” he panted, exhausted. You still inside him pushing your hips to meet his ass once more

“Say please”

“Fuck please!” he cried. The desperation calling your punishment satisfactory. The top half of his body collapsed onto his arms. A beautiful panting mess of your own creation.

“Now I’m so hard it hurts” he breathed, muffled. Buckles undone, harness carried to the bag. Satiated smirk solid on your lips. You made no attempt to hide it when you re-joined him back in the tub. He shuffled round and slid fluidly onto the seat. The creases around his eyes glistening with tears. You swept them away with a gentle swipe of your thumb.

“Such a beautiful boy. Such a mess for me”

“I’ve been good, please…let me cum…Babyyy” Oh god the whine was sounded so perfectly with need and beauty. You were actually impressed he managed it. He’d normally come undone pretty quick.

“Fine, you can cum but… you have to tell me, and you only get my hand” His hands excitedly grabbing your hips as you sat on his lap; gasping when you most definitely on purpose guided his cock through you as you lowered yourself.

He really was desperate.

He breathed a curse as your thumb rolled over his tip. Eyes automatically firing warnings your way. Inhaling your bottom lip between your teeth, the evil smirk responding. You are still in control and you are not done.

Back arched into his chest, hand spread at the base of his neck. Lips dangerous, finding that spot he loves you to clamp down on.

“Fuck, I’m not going to last long” he breathed already flushed trying to contain himself. The small bulge of his adams apple bobbed underneath your lips, his legs stiffened in between yours. You kept your hand movements slow and deliberate. Wanting to drag each long groan past his lips that you could.

“Is that nice baby?” Asking the obvious you knew but you wanted to hear it.

“Mmm so…” his words choked as your hand worked faster. His fingers locked tighter onto the outside of your thighs, head dropping back mouth agape stuttered soundless whimpers. Your hand constricting the side of his throat coaxing him to just topple off the edge.

“I’m going to…” Your hand abandoning his cock before his hips started spluttering. Even though you still had pressure on that beautiful milky throat of his. The sweet exasperated groan and breathy curses tweaked the sides of your lips up. His tortured pupils looking so feebly at you, devastated you’d just ruined his climax that he was gagging for. The water settling around you, your arm dragging droplets round his scapula, rolling down his chest perfect little drops.

Wet hands toying with the bottom of his hair line.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that” his chest still rising and falling in rapid undulations beneath you.

“And you know you can’t get enough of it” you countered pressing an adoring kiss on his plump lips.

“Babe you seriously gotta stop trying to leave me like this” it was a weak tired plea more than being a brat so you forgave him. If you ruined him just right, he’d stay hard; giving you plenty of extra play time. You retrieved your bikini halves from where they were shamelessly dropped. Facing the gap in the wall towards the changing area wringing out your hair; your ass a full spectacle to him to enjoy.

“Well I won’t because we’re not finished and you’re going to come and fuck me against the wall”

He followed you through into the changing rooms like the absolute love-struck horny puppy you know he is and you wouldn’t change him for the world.

#ksmutclub #smutcentralnet #sub-bts-network #bts #hyunglinenetwork #kwritersworldnet #mygsnet #bangtanarmynet #networkbangtan #btsguild #kpopwonderlandtag #BTS suga #bts smut #bts x reader #yoongi x reader #conjecture

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eshrii · 4 years

Text

Meeting Emitsun!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ah. okay. It’s been awhile since the event so I have had some time to gather my thoughts, but honestly I’m still not over it.

First off, I’d like to say that I’m so glad I didn’t go through this alone and that I had a friend with me ^.^ Definitely made it a lot more fun (Thanks Lucy!)

On February 21, 2021 at 4am Eastern Standard Time I met Emitsun through a zoom call.

So here’s the set up:

Emitsun and her team at EmiRing◎ planned to have their annual bus tour around Nagano around this time, but because of the current circumstances, they wouldn’t be able to do it in person, so they thought of a way that they could still have fun and spend some time with everyone. Thus, we had a virtual bus tour. There were two types of tickets for the bus tour, just the regular viewing, and premium tickets. The premium tickets allowed for a one minute zoom call with Emitsun, and additional goods. There were only 90 of these premium tickets, and they would be given out through lottery.

At first, I wasn’t going to attend, but when I saw how affordable it was, I immediately tried to apply for the premium tickets.

This was the first event I ever applied for, and I remember freaking out with Lucy about whether or not we’d get chosen.

As luck would have it (or though Gushi san’s intervention) Lucy and I won premium tickets to get to speak with Emitsun!!!! Everyone who got a ticket was freaking out because…what are you going to say to her??? There’s so much and you only have one minute. Plus. Neither Lucy nor I were native Japanese speakers so we also had the double panic of not being able to converse properly from our lack of knowledge.

As the date drew closer our excitement and tension rose; We speculated what the event would be like, and what our experience meeting Emitsun would be. Spoiler alert: it was nothing like our expectations.

A week before the event, we got an email which dictated our position for the Zoom meeting. As fate (or Gushi san) would have it, Me and Lucy, the only two English speaking, western foreigners, would be the two last people that Emitsun would speak to in the Zoom call. I was 89, and Lucy was 90.

I was freaking out because two things, we’d be last so that means we’d be able to make an impression on Emitsun, also being last meant that I would have to stay up until 4am my time, and Lucy would be up all night until 9am her time.

Here’s the structure of the event:

the Bus Tour would start at 2pm JP time

the tour would last for around 2 hours, after that Emitsun would starting meeting with the premium ticket holders in the zoom link that was provided for us

Me and Lucy planned to sleep off as much as we can during the day so we’d be able to stay up all night. We also practiced speaking Japanese on zoom with a twitter mutual.

At first it was around 7pm my time and some of our online friends were playing Cards Against Humanity and it was a lot of fun ^.^ Afterwards, some said their goodbyes because they were normal human beings that knew the definition of sleep. Our friend Luka was kind enough to hang out with us while we waited for the event to start though, so we got to watch μ's First Live, cried over that, and just enjoyed hanging out together.

After this, the main bus tour event started, and we were all really hyped. Everyone on twitter was saying that it was time to board and ‘I’m on board!’ etc. It was a really fun atmosphere. Emitsun took us around her hometown and showed us a lot of really cool sights that I hope I’ll be able to visit in person some day. She then played a little katakana game with us, and as non-native Japanese speakers Lucy and I were so lost lol. I did manage to sort of get one question though! I was ridiculously proud of that.

After the bus tour ended, the long wait began.

The tension was palpable, and our hearts started racing as one by one, people started entering the zoom link. There was this sort of silence as we waited for the first few people to finish, and eagerly waited their stories so we would have some idea of what to expect as well.

After the first few people finished, it was like a floodgate had opened; emotions were overflowing and it became hard to discern what was happening. Twitter was a whirlwind of emotions; wanting to cry, shaking from anxiety, excitement for the awaited moment.

Everyone who came out of the zoom link were overwhelmed with Emitsun’s kindness and how cute she was speaking with each and every one of them. There was a bell that signalled the end of the one minute, but Emitsun would take the time to finish speaking with them properly, and it made every one of them feel special.

Cue me and Lucy freaking out because at the this point, we still had 2 hours to go.

We started hyping ourselves up, as well as trying to control our nerves. We both got dressed and started getting ready for our turn.

We both had things that we wanted to say to Emitsun written down, things we’ve thought of for the past few years, and finally we’d have the chance for these thoughts to reach her.

As the time drew nearer, Lucy and I fell into this silence as we waited. We provided a good balance, I think; I was fairly calm and Lucy was very energetic. I’m really grateful I had someone to bounce off of while we waited, I don’t think it would have been nearly as reassuring as if I had done it on my own.

When our time came, we entered the zoom link together, and patiently waited for the host to let us in. My turn was first, and when my screen changed to the meeting room, I could hear Lucy scream in the other call, and I could swear my heart stopped beating.

Being able to talk to Emitsun was a surreal experience. She was really kind and really patient while listening to me speak. She wrote down the names of every person she spoke with on a name tag to help simulate the bus tour which I thought was a really cute touch. I told her that I was participating from Canada and that it was 4am and she was really surprised. She said that she was grateful to have this opportunity to meet, even in this situation. She had a really friendly and calm aura to her, and in a different situation I knew that she’d be a person I could get along with and listen to for ages.

My minute was quickly over. I took a deep breath and wished Lucy best of luck in my head.

After Lucy’s turn, the two of us could barely breathe, and although we hadn’t slept in almost 18 hours it was the most energy we’ve ever felt.

From the very beginning: freaking out over getting tickets, planning out what to do, having fun while we waited and that special moment meeting Emitsun; All of those things together was such an awesome experience that I wouldn’t trade for the world. I can’t wait for the day that I will hopefully be able to participate in an event live and get to tell Emitsun in person how much I appreciate her and her music.

OMAKE:

March 2, 2021

Apparently Lucy and I made an impact on Emitsun as well!!! On the 79th episode of Tsunraji, her main radio show, she mentioned the two of us!!! Not by name of course, but she said that a Canadian and a British person were able to participate and that she was amazed by it. Cue Ash and Lucy being uncontrollable messes....again

#Meeting Emitsun #it was so much fun I loved it #I don't think I'll ever forget that feeling of just hanging out with friends and getting to meet one of your favourite singers #this was a completely self-indulgent post for me #one where I can look back on a sad day and read #truly a special moment #新田恵海 #えみつん #nitta emi #emi nitta #emitsun #personal #art

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thisisthehardestthing · 4 years

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wait r u fr? tumblr ate the ask? pls i’m so fuckin mad i literally typed paragraphs about how much i loved it so here we go i’m gonna try to be more coherent this time:

this mafia fic is my favorite haikyuu fic i’ve ever read and one of my fave fics in general. like the amount of hard work and research u put into it is so clear and it shows in the amazing quality of the fic. ur pacing, the flow of ur words, ur characterizations of tanaka and val, the way u pull off that last scene. everything is so well done and all of those things are super hard to pull off on their own so props to u for being able to do all of those. like wow i really am in awe of ur talent and i’m so thankful for ur hard work and the fact that u posted this like u rlly took me thru an emotional ride and gave me such a good piece of writing to enjoy and i love that.

okay so: details. i love the way u include the little things in the fic. stuff like the name of the designers and the names of organizations and stuff in the fic helps me picture the scenes so much and it just really adds to the extravagant feel of the fic.

with symbolism, i could literally write paragraphs about how well u included symbols in this fic. like i deadass gasped when the viper necklace was crushed in the final scene at the end right before tanaka did it. the parallels!!!! god ur so good at writing and obviously ur brain is huge to have thought of that and seamlessly included it into the fic.

okay so idk what the proper term for this is but like, the way that action happens in the fic is so well done and not predictable but still in line with what you’ve revealed to us about the characters. like ofc tanaka would pull the necklace out of his pocket at just that moment as a way to reveal to daichi what he felt. it’s just so perfect and so true to the person he is in the fic. about his characterization, god i love it so much. all of the pain and yearning and sheer want in his person were clearly conveyed thru his perspectives and his actions. like that boy just wants to be loved and that’s why it made such good narrative sense to have daichi ask him who he loves more in the scene right before the ending. like i saw the tag for death and expected a million things but u somehow managed to surprise me and yet still stay true to the world and characters u created and ugh, it’s all so perfect.

speaking of, the pacing of this fic is so good. like u manage to take us thru a whirlwind time period that doesn’t feel fast or drawn out or anything other than perfect. u have such a good awareness of pacing that it makes me so jealous and yet so pleased as a reader. like nothing about their love confessions or trysts felt rushed or forced. it felt so natural and true to the people they were and the world that they live in.

also i said before in the other ask how i love the way u utilize sex scenes in the fic. u sprinkle them in at just the right moment and they manage to be hot but they also reveal so much about the characters involved. like i’m specifically thinking of the scene in tanaka’s home where she asks why he won’t touch her and he says that she didn’t give him permission. like the love and devotion in that way of thinking felt so true and yet in the end he still did it and ugh that breaks my heart in the best way bc i know my pain as a reader is nothing next to his pain as a character. i would actually love to pick ur brain about how u decided on the ending. did it come to u in the moment or did u set out writing the fic knowing it would end up like that? so many questions rlly bc u created a world and a cast of characters that are so interesting like i would literally read books about them. (esp val. i loved how headstrong and proud she was but also how weak and emotional she could be. her ending made me sad but u kno, it made sense) and i’m especially curious to find out how tanaka copes after. like i can’t imagine that daichi would just accept his loyalty again but u do manage to surprise me in the best way so who knows. but i also mourn for him which is a little odd for me bc after finding out that he knew about daichi’s affair i felt betrayed and it hurt for some reason which is so interesting bc i trusted him and felt like i knew him, but u still managed to keep parts of him hidden, which is so cool.

oh and despite the tragic ending, u fed us so good with scenes of the two everywhere. like i love how we got to see tanaka and val in their own homes and at parties and we truly got to see how they act when they’re alone and when they’re comfortable and when they’re playing the part of loyal bodyguard or loyal wife. ugh it’s all so good and tbh i only finished it like maybe half an hour again but i already want to read it again bc it was so fucking good and the way u write emotions like yearning and heartbreak is so good like ugh. everything about the way u wrote this fic was so amazing and fuck tumblr for eating my ask but i hope i at least manage to repeat the majority of what was in the og ask lol.

hello anon <3

It is the weekend so I finally have enough brain power to reply.

I wanted to be selfish and keep this in my inbox forever, because this might be the kindest, most appreciative thing everyone has ever said to me about my writing. Toska is a piece of my heart and my soul in written word, and to have received something like this? It’s... indescribable. You have picked up on so many of the small details, symbols, and more that I littered throughout the fic, and you’ve called out the things that I was excited about people reading and reacting to.

Fic Spoilers below the cut.

everything is so well done and all of those things are super hard to pull off on their own so props to u for being able to do all of those.

Thank you so much. I constantly worried that it was too long, too boring, that there wasn’t enough smut in there to be sexy, or that the plot ultimately didn’t make sense. This means everything to me. Pacing is one of the most important things in a fic to me, because I am the kind of person that easily loses interest when I read.

details. i love the way u include the little things in the fic.

ahhhhhhhhh!!!! I’m glad this helped you to picture everything! I actually used real life dresses, shoes, locations (google Villa La Vigie, it is STUNNING). I was a fashion student, and I now work in the fashion industry so small details to convery luxury is extremely important to me. I love that it made all the difference to you.

i could literally write paragraphs about how well u included symbols in this fic.

fuck, wow. this. This is what I was truly hoping for. I love figuring out foreshadowing in movies, in books, in tv series. I try to write things that foreshadowing what going to happen in the end throughout of every one of my fics, but this is the first time someone called it out, and I am truly grateful for it. The viper necklace thing is a moment I was very proud of. and when Tanaka tells Val to stop talking about Daichi when they’re alone on the bed together: that’s the first instance where we see his guilt that he knows. Also, when Tanaka says “why dont i finish what I started,” is another thing I linked to the ending.

the way that action happens in the fic is so well done and not predictable but still in line with what you’ve revealed to us about the characters.

kasjsdfhksjdfsd I always thought people could see right through me and how I was going to end it!!!!!!! This means so much thank you! I kept thinking, “fuck people know he’s going to kill her, this is so predictable, all these extra scenes are so boring, is it even worth it?” so AH thank you!

thank you again for the pacing comment <3

i love the way u utilize sex scenes in the fic. u sprinkle them in at just the right moment

hehehehehehe this makes me very happy. tbh, I wasn’t expecting there to be SO MUCH PLOT when I wrote this fic. I had mapped everything out and planned for it to be about... 5k? words? It ended up being 21k all together lmao. I actually thought there wasn’t enough smuttiness in the entire thing, so thanks for letting me now that it was just the right amount. I was worried because the only time I actually describe them fucking with Tanaka’s dick inside her, is that measley one paragraph at the Monte Carlo Casino. When I realised that, I was in utter shock. I was texting @mindninjax in the discord server like “FUCK. I can’t believe I haven’t actually written sex sex.” Then I went into thinking how disappointed people were going to be and phew, it was a whirlwind of a night.

i would actually love to pick ur brain about how u decided on the ending. did it come to u in the moment or did u set out writing the fic knowing it would end up like that? so many questions rlly

ask away, send in questions. I built this world beyond what I’ve written. I have character layouts and plans for every person I introduced, and have ideas for fics on all of them.

To answer your question, I knew exactly how I wanted it to end before I began writing. That end scene is what I thought of first. Exactly like that, with it being cut off mid-sentence to represent her being shot. That sort of “boom” or feeling of shock where you just stare at the screen is the exact reaction I wanted to get when I finished writing, so I hope that is what happened.

So just, thank you so much anon. For everything, for taking the time to write out this ask a second time after Tumblr ate the first one. It has kept me going since the day you sent it. I really appreciate you, and please, chat to me anytime x

Thank you.

Spasiba x

#spasiba #claudia rambles #toska asks #fic spoilers #spoiler #i love you so much #thank you

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shnuggletea · 4 years

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I got this amazing review that really inspired me. I was just going to write a nice little bow on the end of this. But they really showed me the potential as well as showed me there were a lot of strings still left to tie up! I really hate they left it as a guest, I want to give them credit. So, dear anon, this chapter is for you! Thank you for your review and I’ll be answering all your questions in this chapter and ones to come!

I hope this is funny in places. I thought it was lol. Anyway, here is a Prequel chapter showing you were the boys came from a little bit more. I might show more later, a sister story was requested. Idk if I’ll get to all that. Maybe next year for sins week, we’ll see.

Keeping with ‘tradition’ I wrote this today! So many other things I should be working on but what am I gonna do yeah? Maybe more reviews on this will make me write more lol. Yes, this is rushed but I wanted consistency and also, I wanted to get it to you all. It’s also in third person because it’s all past tense to when the original story began. It just felt right to me. I hope you like it anon and if I didn’t answer a question, no worries, I’m getting to it!!

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Nominated for best comedy for Feudal Connections Fourth Quarter 2020!!!

“A story has no beginning or end: arbitrarily one chooses that moment of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead.” ― Graham Greene, The End of the Affair

Miroku

The water crashed against the cave's opening, waking him from what was, otherwise, a delightful sleep. It had been centuries of the same, crawling into his cave as early as his body would allow all so he could drift off into a world of 'make-believe'.

He knew it was more than that; that it was more than just his wishful thinking. It was the same scenery most nights but he relished slipping into his unconsciousness each and every night. It made the days drag on so long now.

Pulling himself out and into the open, he glanced up towards the high cliff above. It had been so long since the Monk Miroku and the children had come to the edge to learn and play. Many years, in fact, but he had long ago lost count of all that. So he was surprised when a young girl sat close to the edge. He climbed up the side to get a better look and listen.

"Oh god… please…." she cried. He wished he could comfort the girl but what could he do with his tentacles? "Please… I love him so much. Help him to love me in return or… let me move on…"

Her eyes danced to the water below, the deadly waves hitting the rocks hard for emphasis. This girl wanted to end her life over love? Was it truly that great? It was hard for him to imagine love being that powerful but he only had his dreams to go off of.

The girl sat for a few more moments, sobbing before slowly pushing off the ground. She stood, looking over the edge and he feared she would run over it, ending her life and suffering the easy way.

"Christine!" The girl spun, and his demon hearing allowed him to hear the hitch in her throat. A boy, who looked the same age, bounded up to her. "What are you doing here?"

She shook her head and looked away, "I could ask you the same thing?"

"I'm looking for you!"

The squid demon took in their appearances for the first time. Their clothes were strange. The girl wore pants and not a skirt. And the boy wore a small shirt with words printed on it. It had been a long time since he had come up from the cave but he was delighted to see the clothing matched the girl in his dreams. Made it seem less crazy and also… meant the time was near.

The girl pressed her face into her palms and sobbed. "I'm sorry. I.. I want to be… happy for you but I just can't…"

There was nothing else said, the boy stomping up to the girl and wrapping his hold around her hard. A few moments passed with them like that and then, the boy whispered, "Let's be happy together then?"

The girl tried to pull away to see or fight, the demon wasn't sure, but the boy refused to let her go, no matter what she did. "You… you were with her! I saw you! You love her!"

"No, I don't."

This was the boy she was pining for and now that he was here for her, she fought against him hard? Pushing and hitting? The boy didn't let go and the squid was close to stepping in. The girl may have wanted the boy but she wanted him to let go now! Just as he pushed off the rock he had camouflaged himself to, the boy pulled the girl back and she jumped up to kiss him. The squid watched on in awe, completely confused about what was going on.

The girl, Christine, wanted this boy so much, she considered ending her life when he wasn't in it. Then, when he comes for her, she tries to push him away? All ending with the two of them intimately pressed together? The squid made his leave when the two started taking off clothing, slinking back down to the water. But the scene never left his brain, not as he caught his dinner or swam back to his cave.

Is that how women were now? Wearing pants and pretending to want one thing when they really wanted the other?

The question was still buzzing in his brain when he laid down, safe from the current and crushing waves deep in his dark home. He had barely closed his eyes when he saw her, his sweet girl. She had stopped being sweet long ago, now bitter and scorned. He longed for her, just like Christine did for that boy. Only difference was, Christine wanted to die for the boy while the squid wanted to live for Sango. It pained him to watch over the years as she was used and abused by men. He would never do that to her.

Now he watched as she left a place full of tables and white cloth. She looked amazing even if the dress wasn't what he was used to. He could tell, she was trying hard, the curls dying in her hair proof. He knew her better than anyone, Sango was trying to look really nice even though she was gorgeous no matter what she did.

Sango returned to her home, sitting beside her friend. He liked Kagome. She was smart and strong, he could see it through Sango's eyes sometimes. The dreams varied from him watching to him seeing. Tonight, he watched. But he could still see the disappointment and heartbreak on his dear Sango's face. He would never do that to her.

That was when he saw the book.

Every demon knew of witches and their abilities. What humans called witches, demons called dark Priestesses. But it was the same, good or bad, their witches were our Priestesses. In fact, Sango's dear friend Kagome had a little Priestess in her. It was one of the reasons she searched books like the one Sango held now and why the squid liked her so much. Deep down, the squid demon always knew Kagome would be the one to bring him to his mate.

Right there, in Sango's hands, was exactly how he could be with her. Years, he had spent alone and then the dreams came of Sango. He, at first, felt the dreams of her were enough. But as she grew into a woman and started seeing other men, he needed to be by her side. He didn't fault her for having a love life. For being with other men. But he didn't like the men she chose, breaking her and making her sullen. Those men were ruining his mate.

Sango shed a few tears he wished he could brush away for her and flipped through the book. More than ever, he wished he could affect these dreams. Be heard or seen or something.

Sango was nearing the right page and had turned from truly reading to glancing idly. If he didn't do something, she was going to miss the spell that would bring them together. Christine, the girl on the cliff, came to his mind. So the squid knelt down next to his love, silently prayed to the above, then whispered.

"I can be yours, Sango. Just read the next page."

It was all he could do. And he knew this already, his dreams may have given him a human body but they didn't allow him to do anything human. Like touch or smell his mate.

If Sango skipped over the page, the one with the incantation for a mate, he was going to lose his mind. He might actually throw himself off the cliff! But that wouldn't kill him, he already tried back before Sango was alive.

He watched with bated breath as her fingers gripped the frail paper, pulling it up and over, revealing the page he had been waiting years for her to see and discover. Not moving an inch, not even breathing if that was really a thing in this dream state, he listened. Sango didn't push on past the page like she had the others. Instead, she read. Intently.

Her breath caught, just like Christine's on the cliff, and Sango read over the words again and again and again. So he leaned into her ear again and whispered. "This is it. This is what you've been searching for."

Reaching out, he pretended to brush her hair out of her face, holding his hand off her skin just enough for it to seem real. If he actually tried to touch her, his hand would go through her like the illusion it all was. But with this page in her hold, it wouldn't be long now. Sango would show this to Kagome and the two of them would be compelled by fate to enact it.

It was only a matter of time, and for the first time, he didn't detest the thought of the ticking clock.

oOo

Naraku

"Ah… ah… oh Naraku…. AH!"

Naraku didn't stop his rough thrusts into the girl under him until he came, just as she had. He made sure to pull out but didn't hesitate to get his cum all over her sheets. He didn't want the attachment to this woman, like a bastard child, but he did want to mark his territory. Naraku would never see this woman again but she would think of him long after.

She was cooing on the bed behind him as he got to his feet and to his clothes. "That was… amazing…"

The woman was drunk, what did she know? He had gotten his release, that was all he cared about. It wasn't amazing in the least but it would do for now.

Naraku already had his slacks on his hips when she caught on to his hurried movements. "Wait… you're not staying?"

Glancing back, he caught the genuine disappointment on the woman's face and he huffed. "As… Lovely as this was, it was far from the best for me."

"Excuse me?"

Releasing a frustrated sigh, Naraku turned back to the woman. "Look, I've already forgotten your name. You're not the one I really want and that's a good thing for you. You got to have a nice evening and great sex. I, however, just got to cum on your sheets."

"You're an asshole!"

Turning, he went for the door, "yes, I know."

The truly important thing about all of this was keeping himself awake. The last thing he wanted was to sleep lately. His nightmares were the worst. All he ever dreamed of lately was his mate fucking other men. Who wanted to sleep while that was going on in their head?

Now out on the small and empty street of the tiny town, he lived in, Naraku stretched his human arms over his head high and shook the fatigue out of his bones the best he could. He had been up for… fifty-one hours now? He really wasn't counting. That was one thing he lost when he gave up his demon body for a human one, he tired.

He did love sex though, and the human women made it so easy for him. Practically threw themselves at him. The Priestess that gave him this body included.

Pausing for a moment, he drew a hand through his golden locks to straighten them and rubbed some of the sleep out of his bright blue eyes. Sometimes he missed his darker coloring but beggars couldn't be choosy. And this body was nice, slender and strong. It would do, it got him what he wanted. Fucking the Priestess hadn't been planned but when she offered him his immortality with his human body, he banged the old hag, giving her his 'virginity' as she put it.

So really, although not how he saw himself, this body was perfect. Except for the hunger and need for rest.

This was the first time he had pushed his body so long so hard ever and the sidewalk was starting to sway beneath him. It made his stomach turn, all of it reminding him of when he first moved his soul into this body. It hadn't been that long ago and the memory of it was still fresh. Just like a nightmare, he found himself fighting the feeling. He didn't want to go anywhere, not into another body, and not to sleep. The last thing he wanted was to ever see his damn mate.

Now he was running. Down the street and stumbling as he did. Where could he go? Back to the woman he just left? He doubted he could talk her into another round after how he treated her. It wouldn't be the first time he weaved his honeyed words and twisted his lips into a devilish smile to get his way. But he didn't have the energy. It was draining from him fast.

The last thing he did was fall. It was into an alley that was at least clean. A homeless man hovered over him, asking him if he was alright but his mouth refused to move to answer. That was it until he found himself standing in a strange place with two strange men.

They were naked but so was he. Searching his body, he found his skin was no longer pale and instead of olive. Then, a dark lock fell over his shoulder and into his view. Touching the foreign strand, it felt coarse and textured. His hair had been short to his scalp and soft. Not to mention light blonde. Now his hair was mahogany brown.

Looking around, Naraku decided he had to be in an apartment. It looked similar to the one he left moments ago. Wait.. had it been moments? It was nearly dawn when he stepped back on the street but now the sun was setting.

Stomping around the couch and the other fools taking in the place, Naraku found a clock on the stove. It read seven but he had to guess that it meant seven pm. Next, he found a bathroom. Inspecting himself in the mirror, he couldn't complain. This was body was more aligned with what he expected the first time he was given a human form. The old Priestess had given him a body that matched her fantasies. Not his.

The two fools were still looking around the place. Naraku looked at the two of them. One had white hair and dog ears while the other had dark features, like him, but a strange-looking penis. Naraku only had his to compare and he was flawless. The poor fellow had a gnarly looking dick.

Not Naraku's problem though.

"They did it." The odd cock fellow whispered. "They actually did it! We're here!"

"The hell are you talking about?"

The strange penis man looked at him with a grin. "Our mates; they summoned us."

The man with the ears made a strange yipping sound and went to the door. Then he just stood there, silent and happily waiting. Naraku, on the other hand, was seething. "Why the hell would they do that?!"

"Because they wanted us?" Odd cock answered. "Just as we wanted them."

"I didn't want my mate. I didn't want any of this!"

"You didn't want to be human?" The one by the door asked, cocking his ears to the sides.

"I already was human! I had a life, one I enjoyed. Now I'm stuck here in this body with a slut for a mate!"

"You can't blame your mate for what they did before they knew you…" Weird prick started.

Naraku cut him off, "I can and I will. I'm going to fuck my mate and move on. Then she'll move on as that is what she does."

"You know her better than anyone, do you really think that's true?"

Naraku glared at the one with ears. He was still by the door, acting like a dog. Perhaps that's where the ears came from? Being a dog first while Naraku was human had made his transformation seamless while these two still had animal features. Must have been a weak spell or Priestess. Or one that wasn't dark, it was a spell for a Dark Priestess to do, not a good one.

But the dog was perceptive, even for a mutt. Naraku did know his mate well. All about her past. How her father left her and her mother beat her for it. None of it was ever Kikyo's fault but she took the blame anyway. And then she tried to replace her family with anyone willing. They never lived up to her standards as far as a lover. Kikyo had many missteps with her friends throughout the years but had finally made some good ones.

Whether they had anything to do with him in this damn body now, Naraku didn't know. But Kikyo would have told them for sure, she trusted those two more than anyone.

But none of that mattered. "Look, pup, I had a life and a body. An immortal one. And now I'm stuck in this one. It will age and I will die thanks to my damn mate. Nothing she can do will make up for that."

It was clear on their faces that they didn't agree with him but they remained silent about it. All that was left was to wait. Their mates would enter and he could take his away to show her what she'd been missing. Then never see her again.

These fools. They wanted to be tied to their mates and this life.

Naraku had something to lose, something he did lose. While these two freaks didn't know what they were missing. The one with the funky johnson was going to find out soon. No way his mate would accept that messed up schlong inside her. The guy was going to die a virgin. Some life.

The mutt started going nuts so Naraku had to assume that meant their mates were there. Chunky phallus took a deep breath to steady himself while the puppy scratched at the door. The first one to enter, the dog jumped on. Naraku recognized her from his dreams, a close friend to his mate, Kagome was more than just another woman. That much was clear to Naraku and to peculiar peter as they both slightly bowed to the woman on instinct. He couldn't control it and Kagome didn't even notice. Too distracted by her new pet.

When his mate entered, he felt light-headed. Never had a woman affected him as Kikyo did and he hated it. Her eyes went to him and she offered him a coy smile. So he smiled back, knowing just what she wanted from him. He would supply it in spades but she wouldn't be satisfied by another ever again.

That was his revenge for taking him away from his perfect body and shoving him into a mortal one.

oOo

Inuyasha

He took careful steps, the pads of his paws pressing into the pavement and stinging slightly from the heat of it. Inuyasha hated the crowded city life but he had no choice. This was where he was needed.

Inuyasha was behind his prey, and they were yet to take notice. He was an excellent hunter, it was how he found her so far from his and her home. Would she recognize him? Would she be scared? It was far from the first time he had found her and approached but it had been a few years.

Creeping up, he watched her bend over to pick something off the ground. Studying her hindquarters, head to stop himself from mounting her. But he did stick his muzzle against it, feeling the plushness of it against his nose.

She shrieked and turned, ready to swat. But all of her anger melted away when she took sight of him. "Awwweee, hello there, Puppy."

Getting down on one knee, she held out a hand for him to smell but he knew her scent better than anything. Inuyasha quickly licked her fingers before she could pull away, getting a sweet giggle out of her.

"Where did you come from? Are you lost?"

He was right where he was supposed to be, pushing headfirst into her arms. Inuyasha was a little too eager and she fell to the ground from her perch, onto her lovely ass.

"Whoa, I like you too."

Kagome was laughing, letting him lick her just as she always did. But he pulled back to let her return the affection, scratching him behind his ears. She sighed softly, happy, and he wished more than anything to always make her feel this way. But he couldn't, not in this form. Inuyasha was pretty sure she would freak if she knew the truth about him. He was a dog demon.

Thanks to his human mother and the curse put upon half-demon children, Inuyasha got to spend the first five years of his life in a human body, only to be forced into a dog form for the rest of it. That way, he knew what he lost and had no way to fix it. Oh, how Inuyasha's mother had wept.

Even knowing he was hurting himself and his mate, he just couldn't stay away from Kagome.

The last time he saw her, she was just becoming an adult. And she was crying. Over some asshole that broke her heart. It tore at him greatly, never wanting to share his mate with anyone, but it wasn't her fault. It was all Inuyasha's.

Now, she looked better. Older and happier. But there was still an underlying sadness to her. He could see and smell it. And he could see it in his dreams, how she often cried when she was alone. It broke him even more to see it. So he pushed deeper into her and Kagome wrapped her arms around him fully, allowing him to nuzzle her neck.

"You remind me of a dog I once knew. But, he would be long dead now." No, he wasn't, I'm right here in front of you. "He was gorgeous, just like you."

Only Kagome ever made him feel like this. Like he wasn't a monster. He licked her ear tenderly as a reward for her kindness. She repaid him with another giggle.

When she pulled back from him, a sad look on her face, he knew what she was going to say. "I wish I could take you home with me. But my place doesn't allow dogs." Just as he thought; she was going to leave him soon. "I have a few minutes right now if you want to take a walk with me?"

He wagged his tail so hard, it might fall off. Kagome laughed brightly and got to her feet. People passed them, giving her strange looks, but Kagome ignored them as usual. Never had she ever made him feel lesser. It was one of the many things he loved about her.

Kagome sat on a bench in the park she led him to. Inuyasha recognized the place as Kagome visited it often. To relax and think. He had watched her for hours over the years, never being too far from her if he could help it.

Hopping up, he joined her on the bench and sat in her lap as much as he could. Her laughter returned, welcoming him even as he overwhelmed her with his size. They soon fell into a comfortable silence, Kagome running her fingers through his mane in a tantalizing and relaxing manner. If he were ever to die, this was where he wanted to be when he did.

The more time that passed, the more fear crept up into his belly that she would soon leave him. Or that he would leave her, unable to stay with her like this for very long. It killed him but it was how it had to be. Until the curse of his form was broken, he could never be with a human for long. They always met misfortune. Kagome was different but he didn't dare chance it.

She sighed and he knew this would have to end soon. Her fingers were tracing around his ears so things were about to get dangerous if he didn't leave soon. For both of them.

"The last time I saw that dog you remind me of… I was such a mess. I should have taken him in and I always regretted it. But, stupid me, thought that he would be a replacement. You see… my boyfriend had just… dumped me." What she meant was, she found out he was seeing another woman at the same time and Kagome left him, but she was trying to save face in front of Inuyasha. Kagome didn't know he was the same dog and her mate, and that he knew all. "I didn't want to take the responsibility lightly or on a whim. But I wish I had, he was so sweet. Just like you." She found his chin and scratched, making his foot dance. "I feel like… dogs like you are always around when I need them the most. You've always been there for me haven't you?" It was as if, Kagome looked into his soul through his eyes, looking for the answer he couldn't answer. "What if… I just snuck you into my place? You could live with me for as long as you like. I would take really good care of you, I promise."

His heart leapt in excitement no matter how much Inuyasha told it to calm down. He couldn't live with Kagome no matter how much he wanted to. More than anything, he wanted to tell her this. Tell her he loved her and wanted to be with her but that he couldn't. He couldn't risk giving her his curse. And that he would always want more. Inuyasha was sure he could never live with Kagome while she loved other men.

Inuyasha would risk that to be with her forever though.

As it were, the worst that would happen is he would outlive her. He would have to watch her age while he never so much as shred a fang. That would be the worst curse of all.

She carefully pushed him back and got to her feet. "Stay here. I'll be right back."

Kagome ran, skipping as she fled. Inuyasha watched her as long as he could before leaving the bench and the woman he loved behind. A few feet away, he watched from the cover of some trees as she returned. His heart fell with hers, watching her slump with a sob to the bench they had shared.

Reaching into her bag, the plastic one she had returned with, he caught sight of the red collar in her hands. Running her fingers over it, Kagome took another moment to mourn and then left. While he would never stop mourning.

#inuyasha fandom #inuyasha fanfiction #sinfully human #inuyasha sins #inukag #miroku x sango #kikyo x naraku #prequel #explaining some things #thank you anon #tell me to write more folks

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peaceisadirtyword · 5 years

Text

Just friends (Alex Høgh Andersen/Reader)

A/N: This is pure drama. Angst, tears and awful things. I wrote it because I needed some drama, and I wasn’t feeling good, so it was the only thing I could write. I cried a bit writing it. Hope you like it though♥️

Warnings: Angst, drama, Alex is a sweetheart, I want to hug and protect him forever.

Words: 1650

gif belongs to @whenimaunicorn

It could seem childish. It could be stupid, and you might have been acting like a spoiled child. But it hurt a lot.

And you dealt with it the only way you knew. Eating the chocolate chip cookies you had baked on your own and watching really bad Christmas movies in your couch with a warm blanket and tears on your eyes.

It was your day, the day you had been waiting for since the summer ended. The day when you and Alex would cancel all of your plans and spend the day listening to Christmas carols, decorating the entire apartment with lights and garlands, putting on your matching reindeer pajamas and bake cookies, order pizza (Alex always ordered one with extra cheese for you) and watch awful movies the whole day. The best plan ever.

You were sure he didn't even like Christmas as much as you, very few people did. But he knew it made you happy, so he never complained. His only condition was that you left him take photos of you as you decorated everything. It was the only time you would let him mess around with his camera and not cover your face.

But this year was different.

When you arrived home, after waking up early to go to the store and buy the ingredients for the cookies and some beers for Alex, he was already dressed... And taking his coat.

Your smiled had faded a bit, while looking at him in confusion.

"Where are you going?" You giggled "Hurry up, these cookies aren't going to bake themselves"

"What?" He had frowned in confusion, and then groaned, rubbing his face "Fuck, it's today, I forgot"

You stopped smiling then.

"Yeah, do you have to work today? I can wait for you" you tried to smile again, but it didn't work.

"No it's something else..." He bit his lip "Remember the girl I photographed a few weeks ago?" His beautiful eyes lit up and you felt your heart break a bit. Again "Well, I gave her my number, and we've been talking and... Wow, Y/N, she's..." He smiled widely "She's an actress too, and an amazing model, and she sings too, and is funny, talented... She goes to university too, it's amazing" his eyes lightened up while talking about her, and his lips were curved in a stupid smile "We're meeting today, for lunch and then a walk around the Christmas market and... I got tickets for the theatre"

"Oh" you were trying your best to hold back the tears "Okay... Well, I..." You shrugged, not really knowing what to say "Have fun, then"

You hurried to the kitchen, careful so he wouldn't see your eyes full of tears.

"Hey" Alex softened his tone "I'm really sorry, I forgot, it's my fault, don't be mad at me, okay?"

Then he decided to make it even worse by hugging you from behind while you put the bags on the kitchen counter.

"It's fine, I... I understand" you managed to make your voice sound like you only were a bit upset.

"You can still decorate and bake the cookies, don't you? Call Marco!" he proposed, you could hear the smile on his excited voice "He loves Christmas, or maybe Ava, I'm sure she'd love to spend the day with you"

"Yeah, I'll see what I can do" you muttered.

Alex kissed your temple and got away from you, walking to the door and picking up his coat, whistling excitedly.

"See you tonight, have fun!"

________________________________________

You had to pause the movie when the main characters started kissing, in a too romantic setting with mistletoe and people cheering around them.

Your head hurt from crying, and the cookies weren't as delicious as they were when Alex baked them and the both of you shared them.

Rubbing your eyes, you took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself down. It had been like that for years, and it was worse when you moved in with him. Alex was your best friend since you could remember, and you had been in love with him since you both were teenagers. And never said anything.

When the both of you were all alone, it was easier. You could cuddle him, kiss his cheek, tease him and joke around with him and it wasn't weird, because you were friends. But then he'd meet a beautiful girl, one of those you only can admire and gasp as they pass next to you on the street. And he'd leave, have a couple of dates, although it never worked out. And your best friend was back and you could have him all for yourself, you could pretend that he knew about your feelings and that he felt the same.

You had tried moving on, maybe not hard enough but you had tried. It seemed impossible, you couldn't even look at other person in that way. Yeah, you had met nice people, you had made out with some of them while partying. You even had a couple of dates, but it wasn't the same. Not even a romantic dinner in a beautiful restaurant or a nice walk under the Christmas lights could make you feel what Alex made you feel with only looking at him.

And, in some way, you hoped he returned your feelings.

Obviously, he didn't.

You unlocked your phone. Your best friend, Ava, had messaged you, sending you a couple of photos of her dog -you were in love with that animal- and some meme she had found on the internet.

You entered Instagram, immediately searching Alex's username and entering his profile. He had posted a photo of that last shoot with that model, and you remembered you thought she was beautiful.

Her profile was one of those that made you bit your lip and frown. Your profile was full of photos Alex took of you, and though they were absolutely stunning, her photos looked much better.

Well, Y/N, she's a model and you're an stressed student, it's normal.

Though you knew you'd start crying again if you kept looking at her Instagram, you scrolled down, careful not to accidentally like any photo.

She was more than beautiful, and you could understand Alex being so excited about a date with her that he forgot your Christmas decoration day. They made a lovely couple, both being ridiculously good-looking.

Just when you were about to start crying again, Alex interrupted your self-pity stalking moment by calling you.

Quickly, you dried your tears and cleared your throat, drinking some of the water you had in a glass next to the burnt cookies. He would know that you had been crying. He always knew.

"Hi" you answered, your voice sounding almost like you were completely fine.

"Hey" you could hear the smile in his voice. That big smile that nearly made you sob into the phone "How are you?"

"I'm... Fine" you sighed "How's...." You weren't capable of saying the word 'date' "How's everything going?"

You could hear some noise, so he was still in the street.

"Amazing, Y/N" he giggled into the phone "It's amazing, she's amazing I... I think I really like her"

You bit your lip, closing your eyes and nodding softly.

"I'm glad" you whispered "I'm really happy for you, Alex, you deserve this"

You meant that. You were happy he had found someone, you were happy if he was happy, just a bit heartbroken.

"Are you okay, Y/N?" He asked, and you just knew he was frowning worried "Are you too upset with me? I'm sorry I left..."

"It's okay, I'm not mad" your lips curved in a small, sad smile "I understand, it's not like it's the last Christmas we spend together"

"Yeah but still... I should have remembered, you were so excited... I'm really sorry"

"Well, you can fix it by bringing me pizza for dinner"

"About that..." He sighed, and your smile faded "I might have to bring you breakfast, not dinner"

Oh, god, please, no.

"She invited me to her apartment" he added, quickly "To have dinner, maybe watch a movie... I said yes because I really want to spend more time with her, but I promise I will bring you waffles in the morning, with a lot of chocolate and I have bought you a gift" he said excitedly "It's not a Christmas present, it's more of a forgive-me-for-being-the-worst-friend-ever kind of present"

You stood silent for a few more seconds, until you were sure you wouldn't start crying as soon as you opened your mouth.

"Okay"

"I called Ava, too" he insisted "Told her to go and spend the night with you, I know you hate sleeping all alone... She told me I'm an idiot"

You couldn't help but giggle at his words.

"Okay, thank you" you muttered.

"Come on, don't give me that lost puppy voice, I'm feeling like the worst person here" he whined "I'm really sorry, Y/N, I will make it up for you, okay? I'll cook breakfast for two weeks, and I'll clean your room and I promise I'll let you choose the movies every night for one month"

You smiled sadly.

"Alex, you don't have to do that" you sighed "Just go, have fun and get to know her, I'll be here waiting for you to tell me all the details... Well, not all of them"

"Alright" he chuckled, and you could hear the relief on his voice "Hey, she's coming, I'll text you, okay? Ava should arrive in a few minutes, call me if you need anything"

"Okay mom" you chuckled, though you were drying some tears that were already falling down your cheek.

"Bye, Y/N, love you"

He hung up, just when the doorbell rang.

"Bye Alex" you muttered to the silent line "Love you too"

_____________________________________________

Tags: @mblaqgi @alicedopey @lol-haha-joke @naaladareia @tephi101 @captstefanbrandt @love-hate-love @titty-teetee @readsalot73 @moondustmemories @thevikingsheaux @therealcalicali @chimera4plums @blushingskywalker @awkwardfangirl02 @credulouskhaleesi @gruffle1 @justacripple @heartbeats-wildly @inforapound @winchesterwife27 @hecohansen31 @xinyourdreamsx @funmadnessandbadassvikings @tgrrose @jadelynlace @flokidottirsstuff

#alex høgh andersen #alex høgh imagine #alex høgh x reader #vikings #vikings imagine #vikings cast #vikings cast imagine

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sociallyawkward--fics · 5 years

Text

Mistletoe Isn’t The Only Thing That Brought Them Together

So my brain wouldn’t let me work on the late IDGADAYR chapter until I wrote this makeout monstrosity, so here you go lol.

Also, I am more than aware that I am very bad at writing about kissing and making out so if y’all got any constructive criticism feel free to share it lol (keyword here being “constructive”)

(also @podcastsandcoffee I am tagging you because you had to listen to me ramble about this all morning for the three or so hours I spent writing this lol)

ALSO ALSO, this is 100% unedited, I just wanted to yeet it the second it was finished

Ship(s): Analogical

Warnings: Making out, lots of kissing, hickeys, sex-repulsed asexual characters making out(?)

(I’d say this fic is rated teen because there’s no actual smut, but like?? Let me know if it should be rated higher than teen lol?? I talked to some people and I don’t think it needs to be, but as a sex-repulsed asexual I don’t know where the NSFW line lies sometimes)

Word Count: 4240

[ao3 link]

Summary: Virgil is wildly anxious about Patton's annual Christmas party after being told that he was planning to deck his whole apartment out in mistletoe. Not only has Virgil never kissed anyone before, but he's terrified that he's going to land under one of those infernal plants with his roommate and long-time crush, Logan. Logan, however, is equally anxious about going to the party with no kissing experience either and thinks he has a rather solid plan to help them both. Why not try practicing a bit before they had to do the real deal?

--------------------------

The clacking of Logan’s keyboard was the only sound throughout the room, making it seem much louder than it was. Virgil bit at his lip as he watched the tense lines of Logan’s back, wiggling his fingers anxiously so that he wouldn’t feel the urge to start tapping at something and make noise.

This was all Patton’s fault.

Well, Virgil was honestly pretty sure that Roman had helped. Patton wasn’t devious enough to come up with such a plan on his own. Unless he somehow had completely innocent motives and the outcomes his plan was having were completely unexpected.

“Virgil?” Logan asked, making him jump and look back up at Logan, who had turned to face him. “I can feel your anxiety from the other side of the room.”

Virgil ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, L. Didn’t mean to distract you, it’s nothing.”

Logan stood from his desk chair and crossed the dorm, joining Virgil on his bed. “It’s never nothing, Virge. What’s bothering you?”

“I--I mean it’s--” Virgil stuttered through a few different ways of trying to start his sentence, trying to find one that he was sure wouldn’t somehow give away his crush on his roommate. “It’s just the party, it’s no big deal.”

Logan cocked his head to the side. “Patton’s party? It’s really more of a small get-together than anything, just our friend group. If you get too anxious, we can leave whenever--”

Virgil tried not to focus on the use of “we” and waved his hand through the air to stop Logan. “It’s not the people, I’m actually excited to get us all in one place, we’ve all been so busy lately. It’s just… Patton said his apartment would be completely decked out. In mistletoe.”

Virgil opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to figure out how to best continue, trying to fight past the anxiety that was choking him and trying to steal away his voice. Logan waited patiently for him to finish, laying a hand on his knee in support. All it did was make Virgil’s heart beat faster, but the attempt was still appreciated.

“I’ve, um, never kissed anyone before,” Virgil said, deciding part of the truth was good enough. “And I don’t want to be… bad at it.”

I’m terrified I’d have to kiss you in front of all of them and you’ll discover my feelings and run away, Virgil didn’t say.

Logan adjusted his position on the bed until they were mirroring each other, facing each other while sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce, knees just barely touching. “Maybe we can help each other, then.”

It was Virgil’s turn to cock his head to the side. “What do you mean?”

Logan’s cheeks went a little pink, barely noticeable, but Virgil always noticed everything about him. He rubbed the back of his neck, a habit he picked up from Virgil. “I admit, I have never kissed anyone either. It seems like neither of us knows how and neither of us wants to make a fool of himself. We could… practice? We have a few hours still until the party.”

Virgil’s breath caught in his throat and he felt his face go warm. He didn’t want to take advantage of Logan, but… It was just two dudes being bros, nothing romantic about it. As long as Virgil didn’t make it weird, everything would be fine. It would prepare him to kiss at the party and prepare him for what kissing Logan was like so he wouldn’t expose his crush to everyone there.

What could possibly go wrong?

Well, a lot of things, according to the anxious thoughts screaming at the back of Virgil’s brain, but he ignored them, taking a deep breath.

“Okay,” he said.

Logan nodded. “Okay.”

The two of them lapsed into silence for a few moments, just staring at each other. Virgil was the first to break, slapping a hand over his mouth as giggles started pouring out. Logan broke almost immediately after, covering half his face with his hand and laughing lightly.

“Okay,” Virgil said, getting a hold on his laughter. “How do we start this?”

Logan took a deep breath and cleared his throat, schooling his expression back into something neutral, though a smile still tugged at the edges of his lips. “I guess we just… lean in? Try to replicate what we’ve seen in various forms of media?”

Virgil nodded and took a deep breath, slowly leaning in. Logan followed suit, tilting his head to one side. Virgil took the hint and tilted his head the other way so their noses wouldn’t bump. They met for a quick, awkward peck in the middle before pulling back. They stared at each other for a few moments before breaking down into giggles again.

“That was… not good,” Virgil said through his laughter.

Logan shook his head, grin wide and slightly embarrassed. “It really wasn’t.”

“I can’t believe both of our first kisses were so bad.”

Logan laughed again, throwing his head back. It was obvious that the nerves and awkwardness of the situation was getting to both of them. They usually weren’t nearly so giggly.

“Okay,” Logan said, trying to compose himself again. “Would you like to try that again?”

Virgil pressed his lips together to try and swallow the remainder of his laughter and nodded, scooting forward a little. “Maybe we should try more touching? I mean, in the movies they’re always holding hands or cupping faces or, like, combing through each other’s hair, right?”

Logan nodded, reaching for one of Virgil’s hands. “That is true, let’s try it again.”

They intwined their fingers with one hand. Virgil’s other hand went to Logan’s jawbone, while Logan’s free hand slid into Virgil’s hair as they leaned in close again.

This kiss lasted a little longer, felt a little more natural. It still wasn’t more than a still press of the lips, barely any pressure coming from either side, but it felt way better than the last. It made Virgil’s stomach flutter with butterflies, just like he’d always read about. He could feel his cheeks flushing again and hoped Logan couldn’t feel the heat radiating so near his face.

After a few seconds, they pulled back, dropping their hands from each other’s heads but keeping their fingers laced together.

“That was… better,” Virgil said, still trying to get his heart back under control.

Logan nodded, clearing his throat. “It was. We should still probably keep going, though. I mean, practice makes perfect, right?”

Virgil nodded far too eagerly. “Oh yeah, definitely.”

They leaned in much faster this time. Virgil shifted out of his sitting position so he could scoot closer and Logan followed suit, bending their legs off to the side and leaning in until their torsos were inches apart. This time, Virgil’s hand wound its way into Logan’s hair and Logan’s hand rested on Virgil’s waist. The grip turned more firm as their lips met and in Virgil’s surprise, he curled his fingers into Logan’s hair, tugging it a little. Logan made a surprised little questioning sound, but didn’t pull back to tell him to stop, so Virgil left his hand as it was.

The kiss was firmer this time. Virgil was never sure what all those romance fanfictions meant when they said “they moved their lips against each other’s,” but he decided to give it a try, doing whatever felt natural in the moment. After a moment, Logan copied his movements. It felt… really nice, in Virgil’s humble opinion.

This kiss lasted much longer than the past two. When they finally pulled back, Virgil’s eyes fluttered open and he watched Logan’s do the same. They stared at each other for just a moment before leaning back in, eyes fluttering shut once more.

Logan put more pressure into the kiss this time, making Virgil have to lean back a little just to keep his balance. Out of instinct, his hand unlaced with Logan’s and traveled up his arm to wrap around his back and pull him closer, pressing their torsos tightly together.

Virgil sucked in a breath through his nose when Logan’s lips started moving in a different way, more-open mouthed, but it felt really nice so he tried to mimic it. It took a few moments of mimicking for Virgil to place the action. It was how actors moved their lips when kissing on screen. With that in mind, he did his best to mimic what he always saw, and based on Logan;s reaction, he was suddenly doing much better at it.

The hand on Virgil’s waist moved around to his back. It helped keep him steady as Logan began pushing more and more, making Virgil have to keep bending backwards. Virgil went along with it willingly, letting Logan help lower his back to the bed so his head landed on the pillow. He brought his legs up to stretch across the bed and felt Logan plant his on either side of Virgil, hovering over him.

Virgil slid his hands across Logan’s body and down his neck to wrap his arms around Logan’s neck. Logan’s own hands were constantly moving, rubbing up and down his side, sliding from his jawline and into his hair before reversing and repeating the process. Virgil could feel himself getting lightheaded, but not from the lack of oxygen.

He pulled back just enough to get a breath and test out his next move, one he’d also read about in fanfictions. He gently drew Logan’s lip between his teeth, sucking on it a little. Logan made a little whimpering sound in the back of his throat, seemingly completely involuntary based on the blush Virgil immediately felt radiating from his face. When he went back to kissing Logan, he couldn’t help the smirk he pressed against his lips.

Logan made a challenging sound at that, moving away from Virgil’s lips. Virgil barely bit back his noise of protest, already knowing the game they were about to start and not wanting to lose.

He expected Logan to move back down to his lips quickly, maybe trying out a few new things of his own to get Virgil to make some sort of sound. To Virgil’s shock (and almost loss of the challenge), Logan began kissing down his jawline down to his neck. Virgil’s eyes shot open in surprise before fluttering shut again, barely holding back a hum of approval.

Not getting the reaction he wanted, Logan switched to open-mouthed kisses. His breath was hot on Virgil’s neck, his lips warm and smooth. Virgil was sure if his heart would beat any faster it would explode, if the butterflies in his stomach were any more fluttery he’d just float away. He was barely holding back all the pleased noises that wanted to escape from his throat. He moved his hands up to clutch at Logan’s hair for balance.

Logan made an aborted noise deep in his throat and then growled. Virgil barely had time to grin before he was letting out a gasp and a broken whimper as Logan started biting and sucking on a spot low on his neck near his collarbone. Logan made a noise of triumph, sitting up just enough to grin at Virgil and give him a wink, before going back to working that one spot over. Virgil could feel his smirk against his skin as he finally moved on.

That would probably make one hell of a hickey.

Logan kissed up his neck, this time moving over to the side so he could move to kiss around Virgil’s ear. Virgil’s eyes shot open and he squealed at the feeling of Logan’s breath and lips around the sensitive part before he started giggling again.

Logan sat up and laughed. “You have ticklish ears? How did I not know this? That’s undeniably adorable.”

Logan leaned down to blow a ticklish stream of air against the ear he tormented before kissing across Virgil’s neck and jaw to reach the other and give it the same treatment. Virgil clutched at Logan’s shoulders as he giggled and squirmed. The ticklish feeling was unbearable, but the kissing itself felt really nice. He was torn between letting it continue and wanting to push Logan away more than anything.

Luckily, Logan seemed to get the hint and pulled away, smirking down at Virgil victoriously. This time, Virgil growled in challenge, quickly flipping them so that Logan was the one pinned under him. Logan stared up at him with wide eyes and Virgil smirked, immediately leaning back down to capture his lips.

Logan seemed to be trying to hold back his sounds again as Virgil nipped and sucked at his lips, pressing heavy open-mouthed kisses to them. His arms wrapped tightly around Virgil’s neck, toying with the hair at his nape and making Virgil shiver. Virgil’s own hands slid up and down Logan’s body, one eventually landing to grip his hip and the other moving up to tangle in Logan’s hair once more.

Virgil decided to try something new, too, and also kissed his way down Logan’s jaw to his neck. He found a ticklish spot on Logan just under his jaw and decided to leave his own hickey there, biting and sucking and licking at the skin to try and make it extra dark so it would be hard to hide.

Logan cleary couldn’t help the little gasps and noises of pleasure he was making in between his giggles. Virgil eventually granted him mercy, kissing around his neck a little longer (and leaving a second hickey down near his collarbone that made Logan start tugging at his hair) before making his way back up to Logan’s lips with a smirk.

Logan must have decided he was being much too smug, because he immediately flipped them back over. Virgil, despite being stronger and probably being able to resist it, let Logan do as he pleased, sitting on top of Virgil once he got them flipped.

He started implementing the lip biting and sucking at Virgil had been doing to him and Virgil couldn’t help the noises that came out as a result. After a few more minutes of their lips being locked, a thought occurred to Virgil that made him feel like he was thrown in a pool of ice. He pushed gently against Logan’s shoulder until Logan reluctantly pulled back.

Virgil almost lost his train of thought just looking at Logan.

His hair was a mess from Virgil’s hands, his tie loose and polo shirt unbuttoned as far as it would go so that Virgil could have access to his neck. His lips were swollen, and the sight of them just made Virgil want to kiss him more. Virgil’s dark lipstick was smeared all over his neck, jawline, and lips, and the hickeys were just as dark as he hoped they would be.

It took a few moments for Virgil to find his voice after that, and when it finally worked he was shocked at how wrecked it sounded. “We aren’t… practicing anymore, right?” He asked hesitantly, in the smallest voice possible.

Logan leaned down and gave him a soft, chaste peck on the lips before sitting back up to give him the most fond look Virgil had ever received. “I think we stopped practicing a long time ago.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Virgil sighed, tugging Logan back down and wrapping his arms around Logan’s neck, tugging at the short hairs at his nape.

Logan huffed a small laugh against Virgil’s lips before capturing them once more. Virgil’s toes curled and he felt like he was flying. The kissing felt amazing before, but now that Virgil knew they were on the same page, that Logan liked him back, everything felt a million times better.

It only took a few more minutes of making out before another anxious thought caused Virgil to stop it again. “You aren’t-- I mean like, you--this--” Virgil struggled to find the best way to word what he was trying to say. “This isn’t like… doing anything for you, is it?”

Logan stared at him like he’d grown two heads. “Virgil, you dumbass. We’re both sex-repulsed asexuals. It’s not doing anything for either of us. It’s just fun and it feels good.”

Virgil relaxed again and smiled. “Okay.”

Logan leaned back down and had just barely connected their lips again when Virgil got another thought, pushing at Logan again.

Logan laughed a little, shaking his head. “Do you wanna talk or make out? I’m getting mixed signals, here.”

Virgil let out a little nervous laugh. “Definitely would rather be making out, but I gotta know: Are we dating now?”

Logan gave him a teasing smirk and leaned down until their noses were touching. “I’m not sure. Maybe you should ask me.”

Virgil grinned and his stomach fluttered. “Logan Berry, would you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?”

Logan gave a fake gasp that made Virgil giggle. “Why, Virgil Storm, are you asking me to go steady with you?”

Virgil’s grin widened and he flipped them so he was on top again. “I do believe I am.”

Logan let out another small laugh. “Then I believe my answer is a resounding yes.”

“Good.”

Virgil leaned back in and started kissing Logan again, starting off slow and light, barely anything more than little pecks, to tease him until Logan growled and flipped them yet again and started devouring Virgil’s lips. Virgil didn’t even bother holding back the noises his body wanted to make, simply moving his hands across Logan’s body and letting him do as he pleased.

At some point, Logan moved back down to his neck and gave him another hickey, probably to get revenge and make them even since Virgil had given him two, but then he kept going. As he was working on his fourth, Virgil laughed and tried to force out some words through the daze Logan had drawn him into.

“Come on, L, I don’t have this much makeup, I can’t cover all of these.”

“Good,” Logan hummed, nosing along his jaw, letting his hot breath puff against Virgil’s neck and make him shiver. “Maybe I want everyone to know you’re mine.”

“That is unfairly attractive,” Virgil lamented, pulling Logan up to his mouth when he started pressing kisses to the same spot over and over like he was about to leave another hickey.

Virgil wasn’t sure how much longer they made out for before Logan’s phone started blaring on the other side of the room.

“You should get that,” Virgil mumbled between kisses, still holding Logan close and not letting go.

Logan hummed against his lips. “Just an alarm.”

“For what?” Virgil asked, pressing a few kisses down Logan’s neck to hear him sigh before moving back to his lips.

“For when we have to leave for the party,” Logan said distractedly, deepening the kiss immediately after.

Then they both froze, pulling back and looking at each other in horror. They weren’t dressed for the party, Virgil’s makeup was smeared all over Logan’s face, their hair was a mess, and they had to leave for the party right then.

They launched off Virgil’s bed, Logan moving to scrub the makeup off his neck and face with the makeup wipes on Virgil’s dresser while Virgil picked out both their outfits as quickly as he could. They switched places and Logan got dressed as Virgil wiped his face clean of makeup.

“Guess we’ll just have to be fashionably late,” Virgil said as he started his makeup over again, seeing Logan walking up behind him in the mirror. He hummed. “I’ve got a good eye, you look gorgeous in those jeans.”

Logan rolled his eyes but the blush that had faded since they stopped kissing flared up again. “Shut up,” he grumbled.

“Make me,” Virgil teased with a grin, eyes dancing with mirth as he met Logan’s in the mirror.

Logan moved up even closer behind him and wrapped his arms around Virgil’s waist, tugging him close. He started pressing open-mouthed kisses to the back of Virgil’s neck and Virgil shivered, closing his eyes with a sigh.

“If you give me another hickey, I swear,” he grumbled.

Logan laughed against the skin. “I won’t I promise.”

After a few more minutes, Virgil tried to pull away. “Come on, let go,” he said, though his body wanted nothing more than to melt back into Logan and start making out again. “I gotta finish my makeup so I can cover your hickeys.”

“Let’s just not go,” Logan said before gently scraping his teeth against the knob of Virgil’s spine.

Virgil darted out of his arms. “You said no more hickeys!”

Logan wrapped him in his arms again, but didn’t start kissing again. “Not my fault you’re the most beautiful man in the world.”

Virgil blushed, his ears going red. He didn’t reply, he simply went back to finishing his makeup as quickly as he could. The moment he was done, he did a quick job of covering up Logan’s hickey’s with some powder and concealer before darting across the room to get dressed himself.

They rushed outside and and off campus as quickly as they could, more grateful than ever that Patton’s apartment was so close to the university. They ran up the stairs, figuring it was faster than the elevator, and were both wildly out of breath by the time they got to the fourth floor.

They rushed down the hall and into Patton’s apartment, thankful for his open door policy meaning they didn’t have to knock and bring even more attention to them being late. Making eye contact, they somehow silently decided to not walk next to each other and avoid the mistletoe as much as possible. Virgil didn’t want to get lost in Logan again in front of everyone.

Trying not to bring attention to themselves was futile, however. Everyone was gathered in Patton’s living room, all trying to fit on his single couch. Remy, Roman, Thomas, and Joan were all holding Wii controllers, and Virgil could hear the unmistakable sounds of Mario Kart coming from the TV. They all turned to look at him and Logan when they came in.

“Sorry we’re late,” Virgil said breathlessly, still winded from running up the stairs. “We got caught up.”

“I’ll say,” muttered Roman teasingly, eyes wandering over the two of them.

Virgil gave him an odd look and cocked his head to the side.

“What do you mean by that?” Logan asked as he hung up his winter coat by the door and took Virgil’s to do the same.

“Didn’t quite have enough time to let that makeup set, did you?” Roman asked.

Both of their eyes went wide and Virgil quickly turned to Logan, looking down at his neck. While the makeup hid most of it, some of it had come off in their mad sprint to get to Patton’s. Normally, that wouldn’t be an issue, but Virgil suddenly regretting wanting to make the hickeys as dark as possible in the heat of the moment, because now the bruises were just barely visible under the layer of coverup.

“Um,” Virgil said eloquently. He felt himself go bright red, his face and ears getting incredibly warm, and watched Logan do the same.

“Oooh, you get it, gurl!” Remy hollered, only embarrassing Virgil and Logan further. It only made Virgil feel a little better when Emile swatted at Remy’s arm and told him to be nice.

“Even better, kiddos,” Patton said slyly. “Look up.” And Virgil decided that maybe Patton was devious enough to come up with the mistletoe plan all on his own (he was the only one Virgil had told about his crush, after all. Virgil was just glad they got the awkward part out of the way before they had to kiss in front of all their friends).

Dreading what he would see, Virgil turned his gaze upward.

There was the mistletoe, hanging right above where he and Logan stood. They ended up standing side by side anyway in their dance to get their coats off, and now they were trapped. Virgil just hoped he could keep his head on straight (who was he kidding, he was far too gay for that).

“At least we got plenty of practice,” Logan muttered, low enough for only him to hear.

Virgil snorted and clapped a hand over his mouth to keep the laughter at bay. He dropped it in surprise when Logan grabbed him tightly around the waist and swept him into a searing kiss. Virgil rested his hands on Logan’s shoulders and made a quiet noise in the back of his throat.

But just as quickly as it began, the kiss stopped. Without his input, Virgil’s lips chased Logan’s as they pulled away, but Logan stepped back too quickly for Virgil to capture him in another kiss. Virgil’s eyes fluttered open and he was certain his expression was dazed. Logan just gave him a wink and walked toward the couch.

“Oh, you asshole,” Virgil grumbled, following after him.

They settling onto the couch together, Virgil having to sit in Logan’s lap for them all to fit, and rolled their eyes at the good-natured ribbing they received from their friends. They locked eyes in the midst of all the teasing and one thing was for certain.

They were so doing that again when they got back to their dorm.

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