#lol sometimes I get asks and I’m like oh great time to expose myself for having really only watched the movies | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

anisespice · 9 months ago

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“ the fuck-it list ” || hq! pt. 4

one || two || three

synopsis: there’s a list going around consisting of hot guys on campus that are deemed “fuckable” with theories as to what they’d be like in bed. it’s all fun and games until somehow your boyfriend ends up on this list.

pairing: seijoh4 x gn!reader [ oikawa, iwaizumi, mattsun, maki ]

warnings: mature content. MDI. cursing, suggestive language, mild objectification, the word “dick” said over a million times lol this chapter is basically bigdick!4 supremacy, corny behavior, camboy!maki, slight mentions of degradation, iwa’s is the shortest (I’M SORRY), some minor errors probably and i think that’s it :] !!

notes: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT :'))) life was kicking my ass and the last thing i could think about was getting metaphorically dicked down lol but hope you enjoy, thank y'all so much for your patience, and the last couple parts coming soon!

tagged: @daedaep69 , @ahahadumbo , @viktoryn , @mdsb , @ourgoddessathena , @ushygushybaby , @hyori2 , @lumpywolf , @fantasycantasy, @captaincyberqueen , @tsukiran

OIKAWA would be the reason the list even exists, let’s be honest.

But, for the sake of the plot, we’ll pretend otherwise.

Once again, without fail, after another grand win for the great king, he’s swarmed by his devoted groupies—Shoving their phones, gifts, and themselves in his face hoping to catch even a sliver of his attention.

And once again, you stood on the sidelines, impatiently waiting for him to leave the spotlight; irked your soul sometimes.

It’s not that you were against him being praised or anything, even though his head was fat enough to begin with, you loved the admiration people had for him. But there’s a fine line between being a fan and being a straight-up weirdo.

And right now, they’re tap-dancing on that line something fierce.

“Tooru!~ will you sign right here?”

One pulled down the collar of her shirt, exposing more of her breasts that were pushed up damn-near to her chin whilst wearing a sultry smile. You caught a small glimpse of panic flash across his features before he covered it with a nervous laugh, eyes subtly shifting over to you as he replied. “..How 'bout a photo instead?”

Things went on like that for the next few minutes. Someone would even take it a step further by flat out asking for his number, or if he was single. They already knew the answer to that, it was the same every time, yet they continuously tried their luck as if someday, through the power of delusion and manifestation, his answer would miraculously change despite you always attending his practices and his games, wearing his spare jersey, holding his hand, shoving your tongue down his throat, didn’t matter—Them hoes were relentless.

But, so were you.

“Oh, Tooru!~ If you don’t wrap this up, you’ll be walking home!~” You sang, mirroring the tone of the girl from earlier. The semi-empty threat made the setter perk up like a hound, eyes wide as that same panic returned as well.

Although this time, he wasn’t so quick to play it off.

“U-Uh,” he squeaked, then immediately covered by clearing his throat. “Yes, uh, well, it’s been great chatting with you all tonight. Thank you again for your love and support for the team, it's always appreciated. I hope you’ll continue to cheer us and myself oninthefuture—WAIT! [____]-chan! Don’t leave, y’know my poor legs won’t survive the walk back! Baby, c'mon, wait up!”

Oikawa whined as he scrambled to catch up to your retreating form, no longer concerned with the crowd of disgruntled faces he left behind as they watched their object of affection slip away yet again. A small part of you wanted to turn back and stick your tongue out at them in petty victory, but you refrained. The sound of their great king pleading for your attention was satisfactory enough.

You barely made it outside before his long arms wrapped around your front, locking you to his chest as he leaned almost his entire weight on you. You could feel his heart thrumming against your head as he panted. Eventually, he huffed, no doubt pouting as he gently swayed you in his arms. “You’re mean.”

Keeping your gaze forward, you frowned. “And I have the right to be. You said you’d tell some of those ‘fans’ of yours to chill out—it’s getting way out of hand, Tooru. That one girl practically flashed her damn tits at you, and you gawked like a virgin.”

He chortled, incredulously, “I did not! She caught me off guard..!”

“And yet, you rewarded her with a photo instead of calling out her inappropriate behavior. Make it make sense.”

You attempted to shrug him off only for his hold to tighten, spinning you around to gaze at you with chocolate brown eyes resembling that of a puppy out in the rain—One of the unfair tactics of Tooru Oikawa to get back on your good side. You had full intent of ignoring him, standing your ground…but how could you possibly stay mad at that adorable face?

Easy. By not looking directly at it.

“Nuh uh. I don’t think so,” you gently pushed away the setter’s face, earning another whine in protest. “You’re not getting off the hook that easily. I’m really upset with you.”

“Buh I dinit do anyfing,” he said through smooshed lips.

“And that’s the problem. You need to set boundaries with them, Tooru. Things’ll only continue to get out of hand the longer you enable it. Next thing you know they’re clawing and biting at your flesh so they can take a piece of you home with them under their nails and in their teeth.”

Oikawa grimaced, leaning back. “Ew. Graphic. They’re fans, baby, not rabid animals. I think you may be exaggerating.”

You cocked a brow. “Am I now? Well. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

—

The team had never seen their captain move so fast in their entire season. This was the first time he’d just straight up avoided his entourage and head straight for the showers after practice, scurrying off like his ass was on fire. Questions would spark around the gym about this drastic shift in behavior.

“What’s his deal?” One player voiced. “Usually he sticks around at least another hour to entertain his cult.”

“Not sure. After our last game, he’s been skittish.” Another replied.

A third jumped in after taking a swig of his water. “Think it’s got something to do with that..thing we saw the other night?”

The small group thought back to when all of their phones went off at the same time, social medias in a frenzy about their very own star player. At first glance, they figured it was just highlights of their game, specifically highlighting Oikawa. But, upon further inspection…it was something else entirely.

'Tooru Oikawa. 6’3ft King of the Court, and also our hearts. Being notoriously known as the campus pretty boy, loved by many and envied by the rest, it wouldn’t be far-fetched to consider him the blueprint—The default setting of everyone’s wet dream. He’s a tall, talented, smooth-talker with playful eyes and a panty-dropping smile, a textbook definition of ‘Prince Charming’. Everybody and they mama, daddy, even bald-headed granny would kill to jump this man’s bones. Many would see him as the romantic type, but there’s something more…unhinged hidden beneath the pretty-boy persona. After much debate, our beloved setter is to be dubbed a whole SWITCH, no nintendo. At first he’ll play the dominant role, but edge him long enough and you’ll bring the Great King to his knees, quivering, drooling, you name it. He’s shameless. 9.5/10 - half a point deducted for his inferiority/superiority complex. Get some therapy, babe. ♡’

They didn’t think much of it at the time, when it came to their attention whore of a captain, it wasn’t completely unexpected, especially if his groupies had anything to do with it. The players looked at one another, then back at the gaggle of hormones waiting for the brunette in question by the doors. It was unanimous.

“Yep.” “Uh-huh.”

The third player snorts. “‘bout time it sucked to be him for once.”

When Oikawa eventually exited the locker room, he did everything in his power to appear small, tip-toeing across the floor with his head down and shoulders hunched in crouching tiger-like fashion. He would’ve gotten away scott-free…if not for his petty teammates.

“See ya tomorrow, captain!”

It bounced off the gym walls, the setter grimacing as his devoted followers instantly looked in his direction, predatory gazes stunning him like a deer caught in headlights. Oikawa shot the players a nasty glare over his shoulder, flipping them off and continuing for the exit. He attempted to stiff-arm his way through the hoard, ducking and dodging their grabby hands and shutting down their…bolder advances.

“Tooru-chan!~ Let me show you what I’m capable of, I’ll have you begging in no time, just say the word!~”

“Unhinged men are so my type—Step on me, spit on me, call me names until I cry, I want it all!~”

“I bet it’s bubblegum pink, right? Does it curve to the left or right?”

Oikawa blanched. “Ladies, please, this is ridiculous! You all know I’m in a relationship with-”

“They don’t have to know.”

One had tried reaching out to touch him, but was quickly thwarted when the setter grabbed her wrist. Not tight enough to hurt, but enough to get the message across—Too far. Everyone came to a hush at the sudden display, cowering slightly at the intensity that pooled in his eyes, dark and cold as he fixed the whole group with a stern expression. You were right (obviously). Things escalated the second they were given an inch, with complete disregard to his boundaries and what you meant to him.

These weren’t fans. Not real ones, at least.

Oikawa deeply exhaled through his nose, calming himself down to keep from saying something he’d regret. Releasing the girl’s wrist, the setter gently moved her out of his personal space, resadjusting his bag and sporting a rather disinterested expression.

“It appears you all have misunderstood your place. I’ll forgive that disgusting comment only once. But, if this obscene, rude, and down right shameful behavior continues, I’ll have no choice but to inform the coach of your harassment and have you banned from future practices and games. Do I make myself clear?”

When you arrived to pick up Oikawa per usual, you were surprised to see that he was already waiting for you, not a single group ie in sight.

Skeptical, you looked around as you approached him, thinking those buzzards were still in listening distance, just waiting to pounce. But, when all you’re welcomed with was a big hug and kiss, you relaxed. Oikawa pulled back and gave you a sheepish smile. He explained everything that had happened, rubbing his the back of his neck in embarrassment. When he finished, he looked down at you with those same puppy eyes he gave you the other day.

“Please don’t say I told you so?”

You cooed, reaching up to fiddle with his hair at his nape. He leaned into your touch, content. Until you said, “I told you so.”

He frowned. “You’re MEAN.”

Once IWAIZUMI learned it involved Oikawa in any way, that’s all he needed to know to have no interest in the list. Sort of like Sakusa, if the topic gets brought up, he finds himself tuning out. The last thing he needed was to get dragged into whatever mess his dumbass best friend got himself involved with. But, unfortunately for him, one doesn’t simply choose to be on the list…the list chooses you.

And one afternoon, the former ace was the unlucky winner.

‘Hajime Iwaizumi. 5’10ft hunk made of pure Husband Material. We’re talking the man who’ll open doors for you, pull out chairs, hold your bags without fuss, give you massages, cook you hearty meals, the whole nine yards. With that information in mind, you can’t tell me he’s not an absolute DOG in the bedroom. I’m talking about a man who’ll bully your insides, manhandle you and call you his “favorite cocksleave” or his “pretty little whore”. He’s the type to say the nastiest shit in your ear and tease you for the cute reactions you’d give him before shoving his tongue down your throat, while his dick kisses your appendix. Definitely a Hard Dom who only rewards good behavior, so if you plan to be a brat to this man—Good luck. But, as soon as he’s fucked that attitude outta you he’s back to being such a sweetheart! So so so attentive, so devoted, and will do anything for you. He’s God’s favorite. 1000000/10.’

“Oh? .. Hey, babe.” You said, curiously. Iwa grunted in response. “You know that list thingy Oikawa-?”

“Nope.” He easily answered, eyes focused ahead and he continued bench pressing the heavy bar.

You slap his chest. “You didn’t even let me finish!” He responded with a playful smirk, making you lightly slap him again.

Straddling his lap while he pumped iron was routine. It consisted of him doing what he does and you keeping him company, soaking up his presence until you inevitably left for your next lecture. Sometimes you kept count for him, other times you’d happily just be a distraction; today you did both.

“Haji,” you whined, wiggling a little. He ignored you on purpose, stubbornly refusing to indulge the topic. But that didn’t deter you from pestering him. “Ha-ji-me!”

“Ba-by-doll,” he echoed, grunting shortly after when he placed the heavy weight back on the rack, finished with the set. Panting, he sat up and readjusted you in his lap, hands resting on your thighs as he finally looked at you, amused at your scowl. “I don’t get why you’re so interested in that shitty list.”

“I’m not…until now.”

“Why?”

Turning your phone screen to show him the updated post, Iwa’s eyes scanned it before his brows furrowed in confusion, then tightened with irritation, jaw clenched and annoyance clear on his face. He let out a heavy sigh, closing his eyes to unsee it and merely laying back down on the bench. “Block them.”

You gaped. “What? No way!”

“It’s nothing but perverts with too much time on their hands,” he grunted, lifting up the bar and beginning his set. “It’ll rot your brain. Or what’s left of it, anyways.”

With a dramatic gasp, you retorted with, “Jerk. I’ll retweet and tell them you also love sucking on toes, how ‘bout that?”

Iwa paused mid-push. He eyed you from his laying position, voice dangerously low as he said, “Try it and I’ll bench press you next.”

“Hm.”

Through squinted eyes, MATTSUN briefly scanned the bright screen of Maki’s phone displaying the updated post that started circulating around their group for the past few minutes. Without much reaction, one would think he was too buzzed to be able to even comprehend it.

But he understood all too well.

‘Issei Matsukawa. 6’2ft lazy ass with a third leg. Doesn’t matter if he looks like he uses 5-and-1 body wash, he smells DELECTABLE. And don’t get me started on the gray, low-hanging joggers he usually wears around campus—He needs to be arrested walking around with a concealed weapon in those sweats��sir, put it in me AWAY. The literal embodiment of “If it slaps his thigh when he walk, I’ll listen when he talk.” The ultimate brat-tamer tbh. You can’t get under his skin, he’s so nonchalant and laid back, your attitude would just be foreplay for him (HIS FREAKY ASS). And if you think he’s already big on soft??? Bitch. Gon head and call outta work for tomorrow. 50/10.’

“Uh..congrats?” Kindaichi gave an awkward thumbs up.

Maki snickered, tongue in cheek. “Yeah, man, how’s it feel being ‘dick of the week’? They’re even givin’ it nicknames ‘nd shit.” He scrolled further into the depths of debauchery. Peering from over his shoulder to see for himself, Kunimi‘s face scrunched in mild disgust.

“Someone called it ‘The Door-Knocker’? Fucking cringe.”

“Fucking retweet.” The strawberry blonde hummed in approval. “Oo, I like this one—‘The Punisher’. That’s badass.”

Yahaba snickered only to then start choking on his drink, snatching Kyotani by the front of his shirt for support as he hacked for air. The wing-spiker merely glared, winding his hand back to beat the shit out of his back. “Ack! Kyo—fuc-! BRO STOP.”

“I’m helping.”

“You’re killing me!”

“Same thing,” he grunted.

Mattsun snorted, taking another swig of beer. After skimming through the thread, he lowly drawled out, “Cool, I guess. No big deal.”

He didn’t know much about the list, only that if you ended up on it you were pretty much an ace in the game of dick-slanging. But, he didn’t need some thirsty randoms on the internet telling him that he fucks. He had you to attest to all that, and your opinion was the only one that truly mattered. Not that either of you would kiss and tell.

His friends, on the other hand, felt otherwise. As far as they were concerned, Mattsun was a single man. And right now, he was shitting on a blessing sent from the gods. Maki halted his sip to eye his best friend, beer can lowering suspiciously. “No big deal?”

Mattsun shrugged. “t’s what I said.”

Yahaba finally caught his breath, chiming in with a winded, “Yeah right…you’re probably itching to check your DMs. Tell me ‘m wrong.”

“Ok. You’re wrong,” he replied, chugging the remainder of his beer can before crushing it. Yahaba went to argue, but Mattsun cut him off by speaking through a burp. “Don’t got the energy…to entertain someone who just wants my dick.”

“Don’t you mean, ‘Door-knocker’?” Kunimi teased.

“I thought it was ‘The Punisher’..?” Watari asked, uncertain.

“I saw ‘Horse Cock’ on there.” Kindaichi grimaced.

Mattsun shook his head. “Whatever. Point is, ‘m not interested in racking up my body count anytime soon, so those DMs will just go unanswered. Hell, maybe even deleted.”

“Bullshit,” Maki challenged. He points an accusing finger. “There’s another reason. It’s ‘cause you’re already screwing around with someone, aren’t ya?”

A silence fell upon the group, all eyes instantly honing in on the taller male with metaphorical ears raised high in scandalized curiosity, some (read: Kindaichi and Yahaba) more obvious about it than others. Mattsun merely gave a halfhearted shrug, neither denying nor confirming the information. “Aha! See, see, look at ‘em, dodging the question! He’s so cuffed.”

“No shot,” Yahaba deadpanned, “mister ‘Noncommittal’ himself?”

Mattsun glared. “Oi. I commit to stuff.”

“He’s gettin’ defensive.” Kunimi pointed out with a wry grin.

“Must be true, then.” Kyotani nodded, mischievous glint in his eye.

The others hummed in agreement, theorizing about his type in partners and how there could be a potential special someone in their senior’s life, while the bastard behind it all watched smugly on the couch, sipping his drink like a gossiping old biddy. Mattsun squinted in annoyance at his best friend. “Et tu, dumbass?”

Maki raised his hands, “Hey, don’t get mad at me. You basically told on yourself. No guy in their right mind would ever pass up on that many opportunities unless he’s A) Stupid, B) Aro/Ace, or C) Spoken for. Now, my vote’s between A and C, but feel free to update me on your sexual orientation.”

Mattsun flipped him off, sporting a sarcastic expression.

His phone then began to vibrate on the table. As quickly as they looked at the former middle blocker, everyone’s gaze shot toward the offending device, then back on him; expectantly. Despite his calm exterior the brunette felt his heart-rate spike, brow twitching at the childish looks and jeers he started getting, borderline peer-pressuring him to pick it up.

After a few seconds of continuous ringing, Kunimi huffed in mild annoyance for him to, “Answer it, already.”

Maki added fuel to fire by saying, “Unless you want one of us to answer for you-” Mattsun snatched the phone off the table.

With the grace of a gorilla, he stood from the couch and quickly shuffled to the corner of the room. Answering it, he cleared his throat, face flushing at the chorus of snickers coming from behind him as he greeted you with a simple, but elated, “Hey.”

“Hey, ‘sei!”

“Hey,” he said again, breathing out a small chuckle. “Can’t sleep?”

You responded with your own chuckle. “Yeah, actually. I was wondering if you’d wanna maybe…ride around with me? I’m thinking McDonald’s. Oo! Or that wing place by campus, y’know, the one with the teriyaki flavor you liked? I think they don’t close until, like, 2am. Or…was it 1am?”

Mattsun snorted at your rambles, leaning against the wall as he let you continue. Unbeknownst to him, the guys were practically stacked on top of each other, stretching their ears to hear your voice. From what they could pick up, you sounded so upbeat, animated as you spoke. They watched in awe as their senior barely spoke but was engaged in whatever you were saying, nodding along and humming to let you know he was still listening. If he wasn’t faced the other way, they were certain they’d see a smitten expression on his face.

“Mhm.. mhm. Yeah, ‘m sure that squirrel really appreciated you sharing your almonds, baby.”

“BABY???” The group exclaimed.

The brunette jumped slightly, completely forgetting where he was for a moment there. He briefly looked over his shoulder before turning back towards the wall with a groan—Every single one of those bastards were either grinning or gaping in shock. Mattsun cursed under his breath. You made a noise of confusion.

“Are you with the guys? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt! We can totally chill another night if you-”

“Nah, was just about to leave. Think I’ve entertained these assholes long enough.” He grumbled, walking over to grab his jacket, but not before thumping Maki on the head; the latter hissed through his teeth in pain as he held the throbbing spot. “Rather be with you anyways. I’ll send the address, lemme know when you’re outside.”

“O-Oh, okay then!” You giggled, flattered. “I’ll see you soon. Love you!”

He turned back to look at the group, smug as they still watched him with disbelief painted on their faces as Mr. Non-committal was ditching them to hang with his commitment. Like he tried to tell them before, he didn’t need some thirsty randoms on the internet. He had you, and that’s more than enough.

“Love you too, [_____].” Then, he walks out. Leaving the room in even more chaos compared to when he first answered the phone, immediately on his ass as the scrambled after him for answers.

“[______]?????”

Who would’ve guessed their sweet, beloved volleyball manager from high school was the one getting visits from “The Punisher”.

Within his inner circle, MAKI is usually overlooked. He’s not popular like Oikawa, nor jacked like Iwa, and he’s doesn’t have the whole ‘sexy aloof’ vibe like Mattsun. He’s just…tall. And funny—The ‘Pete Davidson’ of the group. At least, that’s what your friends called him. Somehow, once again during your outing with them at the mall the topic of your relationship became the focal point of the conversation, stretching their brains for why you were so enamored with a guy like him.

“He gotta be packin’. Like, I’m talking anaconda.”

“Type shit. Y’know what they say about them tall and skinny ones.”

You rolled your eyes, wry smirk spreading across your face as you busied yourself sifting through a clothes rack. The conspiratorial discussion had been going on for the past ten minutes, throwing anything and everything at the wall until something stuck—Meaning, waiting for you to confirm. “[_____]. Be honest. It’s ‘cause of his dick, right?”

A lady standing on the other side of the rack gasped in shock, face twisting up in revulsion as she clutched her purse before stomping away, scandalized. You snorted, peeking over your shoulder to raise an eyebrow at them while they struggled to suppress their childish merriment at the poor woman’s embarrassment.

“Quit it before they kick us out.” You attempted to sound stern, but there was no hiding your own amusement. One friend playfully nudged you while the other began to snicker. “And no, it’s not because of that. It’s a bonus, though.”

The first gasped, then exclaimed, “So it is big!”

“’m not finna start with you,” you replied looking back at the clothes, pretending not to know them as nearby customers gave the side-eye. Neither one paid any mind as they continued to gossip. “We have this conversation every time we go out. Give it a rest.”

“Not until you tell us what you see in him.”

“I mean, I get it, but then I look at his friends and…” she hissed through her teeth, shaking her head. “I’m just saying. You fumbled.”

“I’m not taking that from someone who slept with a door dasher just because they got the restaurant to put extra sauce in your bag.”

The guilty party gaped, “It wasn’t included in their instructions, they were a real one for that!”

“Still don’t know why you did it,” the other friend sighed. “The food was cold, and I’m certain they took some of my fries.”

“Shut up, we’re not talking about my poor life choices, we’re talking about [_____]’s.”

“Fuck you,” you laughed. “You two need to get off my man. You haven’t even properly met him yet. He’s a sweetheart, he treats me like royalty, and I don’t care what y’all say, that man is fine.”

“Please. You’re just dickmatized.”

“Enough about his dick already!”

Your outburst drew the attention of a nearby employee; the store manager. Even though she wore a professional smile, you could see death in her eyes. With a nervous smile, you gave an apologetic wave before quickly grabbing your friends by their arms and escorting yourselves out before you got banned. Your closet was getting full, anyways.

“Look…I know the guys I’ve dated in the past were…questionable. But, I really like this one. And I swear the pictures I showed you don’t do him justice, his goofy ass just never sits still.”

They looked skeptical, having heard that one before. You huffed.

“Alright. How about I invite him over tonight? That way you have a chance to get to know him better. And if you’re still iffy, then…then you’ll have to get over it because you love me dearly and want me to be happy and just because you don’t think he’s attractive doesn’t mean I don’t, he is very gorgeous to me-!”

“[_____], honey, breathe.”

You stopped to inhale, then concluded with a small, “Please?”

They exchanged another look of skepticism, until the second added one condition. “He better not show up empty-handed.”

—

When the doorbell rang, the mood instantly shifted in the room, your friends going silent and gazes sharp as they looked at your door. Unbeknownst to all of you, on the other side of the door, Maki shivered, confused where that sudden chill came from. You gave them an eager, though strained, smile before scampering over to greet your awaiting guest. Upon opening the door, your smile slowly dropped at the sight of Maki sipping out of a large styrofoam cup with the words 'Big Gulp' written on it, dressed casually in sweats and a beanie, appearing very empty-handed.

After he swallowed, he gave a drawled, "Yo."

Your eye twitched. "Takehiro." He hummed, taking another sip of his drink. "Remember that important thing we discussed over the phone? Literally the only thing I asked you not to be when you got here?"

He thought about it, taking note of the daggers you were shooting at his cup. Maki made a noise of realization. "Oh, right. I bought snacks too, buuut I accidentally ate ‘em all on the way. My bad. But, look," he shook the cup, "technically still not empty-handed."

A small part of you wanted to be mad, frustrated at the least...but there was no hiding the giggle you rewarded him with, of which turned into more giggles. With sigh, you stepped forward to wrap your arms around his middle in a hug. "You’re so dumb."

"Missed you, too." He playfully rolled his eyes, returning the hug and craning his neck to kiss your forehead. The two of you stood there for a moment, just basking in each other's warmth. But, the moment was short-lived when he gave a long, exaggerated exhale through his nose before murmuring, "Ready?"

"...No." You groaned.

"Damn, do they bite or something?"

"No, they’re just...unfiltered. I love them, don't get me wrong, but they can work on your nerves to an olympic degree. You'll see once we get inside...They're gonna ask about your dick, by the way. Just ignore it."

Maki snorted, bewildered. "I'll try my best."

"Also...try not to mention that...other thing."

"What other thing?"

"You know," you raised your brows, looking over your shoulder in case they were eavesdropping before softly continuing, "that post."

It took a second, but he eventually caught on to what you meant.

‘Takehiro Hanamaki. 6’0ft shameless manslut (affectionately) who’s taken the campus by storm with his rather...interesting side hobby that pretty much has every student reaching for their wallets and switching to incognito mode on their browsers. Who would’ve guessed that lanky, low-eyed beanpole had the talent to film such erotic content and put a whole industry to shame with just his smartphone and a couple LED lights? After getting past the paywall and binging his videos (for research) it’s safe to say this man is very much a power bottom, maybe even a top depending on his mood, with a fowl mouth that’s not afraid to moan like a porn star. Best $200 I’ve ever spent (FOR RESEARCH). Highly recommend if you’re interested in having the best guided orgasm of your life—Link is in the thread! Get that bag, king. 10/10.’

A shit-eating grin stretched across his face instantly. He bounced his eyebrows, leaning down to teasingly say, "Ohh. That post. What? Don't want 'em to know how I make my living? Or, you scared they'll find out you're my number one supporter, always touching themselves just behind the camera-"

"Hiro!" You hissed, face set ablaze as you looked over your shoulder again, anxious. He found your reaction cute, using the straw in his cup to poke your cheek. You huffed at him. "I don't want them to pry. I doubt they've seen it since they go to a different uni, and I'd like to keep it that way. Okay?"

He easily shrugged. “You’re the boss.”

You exhaled, relieved. “Thank you.” You turned to head back inside, knowing your friends were just itching to bombard Maki, however you were stopped when he grabbed your arm.

“But.”

“…But?”

“I’ll let the dick-related questions slide and keep my side hustle under wraps, but you have to do something for me in exchange for my good behavior.”

You tilted your head, nervous. “Like what?”

His grinned mischievously, eyes half-mast as he used his free hand to hold your jaw, making you gasp softly when he tilted your head back. “Instead of being behind the camera in my next video…my number one supporter has to be the star.”

You rapidly blinked, heat traveling throughout your body once you registered his words. Fumbling over your own, you didn’t have time to protest when the door behind you opens wide, revealing your impatient friends. Maki let go of your jaw and settled for wrapping his arm around your shoulder, pulling you close as he waved at them with the hand that still had the large cup in it.

“‘sup.” He flashed them a sly grin. Maki took in their shocked faces, hoping they were a good sign as he introduced himself. “[_____]’s told me a lot about you guys. Hope you didn’t mind me crashing your get together.”

They absolutely did not mind.

You weren’t lying—Those pictures you showed did him dirty. Nothing could’ve prepared them for the uno reverse that was Takehiro Hanamaki. From his lax posture and cozy demeanor, sleepers build and cute smile, it’s no wonder you were drawn to him. Plus he’s funny with a big dick (allegedly)?????

After you composed yourself, still reeling from your conversation earlier, you eventually mustered up a triumphant smile at your friends as they gaped up at Maki, speechless. “So? You guys still think I fumbled?”

#🍁wasabi #SEIJOH 4 FOR 4 #WITH A LARGE FRY AND DRINK PLS #hq #hq!#hq smut #hq scenarios #hq x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu smut #haikyuu scenarios #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #matsukawa issei #hanamaki takahiro #the fuck-it list

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polite-pandemonium · 3 years ago

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I’d marry you with paper rings - part 1

Prompt: Taichi and Mimi run a seemingly harmless con where they pretend to get engaged in restaurants so they can get free dessert, only to be caught in the act when her parents witness one of the fake proposals and 100% believe it. Pairing: Taichi/Mimi, others will show up I think Rating: T Notes: This is for @piedrpiper, who gave me this killer prompt, which I then ran away with and now who knows what I’ve gotten myself into!!! Also this is unbeta’ed and I wrote it all in the span of an hour so who even knows if it’s good!! WHO EVEN KNOWS!!!!!

Chosen Chat Thursday - 2:01pm

Daisuke: uMMMMM ╭( ๐_๐)╮ @taichi-san, @mimi-san, do you want to explain what the hell this is? https://www.tiktok.com/@minakolovesyou/video/87362956028361822

Yamato: …what the hell is this?

Sora: …I feel like we are missing A FEW chapters?

Koushiro: Um? Did I miss a memo? Or a several years long relationship?

Daisuke: You mean again? ( º﹃º )

Koushiro: No one asked you, @daisuke-san.

Miyako: WHAT IS THIS? HOW DID I NOT KNOW?

Takeru: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Miyako: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME? ＼(｀0´)／

Hikari: Onii-chan, what is going on?

Miyako: Seriously, WHY? Why did no one tell ME?

Takeru: LOLLLLLLLLL

Miyako: STOP LAUGHING, TAKERU-SAN.

Yamato: Takeru, stop.

Hikari: Takeru-kun, this isn’t funny!

Taichi: Oh my GOD, stop blowing up my phone, seriously. It’s just this thing Mimi-chan and I have been doing.

Sora: I’m sorry, what??? A ‘thing’ you’ve been doing with Mimi? You call *getting engaged* a thing??

Miyako: SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL?? @mimi-san WHERE ARE YOU? HOW COULD YOU STAND FOR THIS?

Taichi: NOT FOR REAL! I found a list on Reddit of restaurants in Tokyo that will give you free dessert if you get engaged there. So Mimi-chan and I have been going around to them.

Yamato: …You’re getting fake engaged? So you can get a free dessert?

Takeru: LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Hikari: Oh my god, okaa-san is going to kill you.

Taichi: Stop, it’s all in good fun. Plus she’s never going to find out? Don’t understand why someone filmed it, though.

Miyako: This happens all of the time! This is TikTok!! People film beautiful, random moments and share them! They thought this was a beautiful, random moment! BUT IT’S NOT IT’S FAKE (ノ-_-)ノミ ��┴

Koushiro: This is so unnecessarily deceptive. You guys are both doing fine financially. You don’t need to lie to get free dessert.

Yamato: Seriously, what the fuck? This isn’t cool. An engagement is an important moment.

Taichi: Oh, calm down lover boy @yamato Not all of us have been envisioning our engagement since we were fourteen.

Sora: Taichi!

Mimi: LOL I see our game has been exposed.

Taichi: It has, unfortunately. The jig is up.

Mimi: On TikTok, too? Ugh, I wasn’t even wearing my cutest outfit that day.

Taichi: I think you looked great.

Mimi: Aww, shucks, thanks hubby.

Taichi: Of course, wifey.

Daisuke: （●≧艸≦

Hikari: 乁༼☯‿☯✿༽ㄏ

Takeru: LOL?

Yamato: You’re both ridiculous.

Mimi: Oh, Yamato-kun, you don’t mean that!

Yamato: Given that you’re both running around getting fake engaged? For dessert? I do.

Taichi: OK, look, it isn’t just the dessert that we do it for.

Yamato: ?

Hikari: ????

Taichi: Sometimes they give us free drinks, too.

Mimi: One time, we got a whole bottle of Veuve Cliquot!

Taichi: The big one!

Mimi: The BIG one!!!!!

Koushiro: You guys, really?

Taichi: The big one, Kou!!!

Mimi: 100,000 views, huh?

Taichi: Is that a lot?

Mimi: I mean, it’s not not a lot But it’s not viral

Daisuke: Well, it’s only been up for a few hours And it’s popular enough that I ended up seeing it

Miyako: That’s cause you’re chronically online, Daisuke.

Daisuke: Takes one to know one, Miyako.

Hikari: Well, you both better hope it doesn’t accumulate any more views I doubt you want to explain this to people who aren’t us Like your employers

Taichi: Oh, GOD, no thank you

Mimi: Um do NOT put that out there But I don’t think we have to worry about it Even if it gets more views, the chances of someone who knows us seeing it are so slim You have to be addicted to TikTok Like Daisuke-kun

Daisuke: Look, this isn’t dump on Daisuke, hour I’m not the one going out getting fake engaged for dessert I go to Lawson like any other respectable adult

Miyako: Konbini betrayal!! (ง •̀_•́)ง

Mimi: My point is!! That we don’t have to worry about it going more viral. Viral is subjective now a-days. Everything’s viral. No one will likely see it.

7:23pm

Ken: Ah, man I miss everything

Friday - 1:47am

Jyou: Same But I’m glad I wasn’t here for this Seconding Yamato, you’re both ridiculous

The next morning, Mimi stood in her kitchen, eating natto over rice and running a facial roller over her cheeks. She had been out a little late last night with Sora and Miyako, drinking wine and chattering about their weeks into the wee hours, and it was showing on her face.

Where had she put her collagen powders? She thought to herself as she surveyed the small kitchen in her Aoyama apartment. There were only so many cupboards for her to tuck them away into and yet they were no where to be found. Maybe if she was able to blend them into her coffee, they could perk her up a bit. Or better yet, a green juice - they were special ones she had brought back from her last trip to America. Surely in green juice they would make her glow.

But she didn’t know where they were and Mimi didn’t like green juice anyway.

Sighing to herself, she unlocked her phone. Swiping away from the notifications in the Chosen group chat (Takeru and Hikari were asking the group to settle some sort of debate they had stayed up till 4 in the morning arguing about - the old marrieds), she opened up her calendar. She scanned her meetings for the day: 8 in total, 3 on-site, 5 remote.

Too many, she groaned, and closed the app.

Opening up TikTok, she swiped through a few videos. A couple of reviews of local cafes, three videos about the latest season of Stranger Things, and a handful of fashion videos. She paused on one, inspecting the blouse the girl was wearing, before favouriting it as a reminder for her to pick it up later.

Then, suddenly, Mimi was met with the sight of her own face, blushing and teary eyed as Taichi knelt down in front of her in the dining room at Narisawa.

She sat up a little straighter.

This had been restaurant number eight on their list and overall, it had been a pleasant experience. Mimi had worn a bright pink linen dress she picked up from Reformation in Toronto on a recent buying trip with simple gold hoops. Taichi wore a well tailored black suit and white dress shirt, no tie. He rested his hand on the small of her back when they walked in.

For over an hour, they laughed and talked together, recounting their days and weeks. The best part about this whole ruse was that they genuinely enjoyed each other’s company; it was easy to pretend you absolutely adored the person across from you romantically when you did adore them platonically. Taichi hammed it up, taking Mimi’s hand and pressing a kiss to her knuckles in between courses, and Mimi answered in kind by reaching over mid-conversation to brush a strand of hair off his forehead.

The food was delicious and the wine even better and near the end of dinner, Taichi had cleared his throat before getting down on one knee and launching into his (well rehearsed) speech about how much he loved her and how much he couldn’t live without her and could she do the greatest honour of his life by agreeing to marry him?

Mimi’s eyes welled up with tears (she had pinched her thigh hard under the table) before she nodded enthusiastically and said a choked-up ‘yes’. Taichi slipped the ring on her finger, they both rose, and embraced to the sound of both enthusiastic and uncomfortable applause. They kissed each other on the cheek (they were in public, after all), before sitting back down and beaming at each other.

Their server congratulated them and then offered them a bottle of one of their finest wines, on the house. They gratefully accepted.

From her kitchen counter, Mimi chuckled to herself. The whole thing had been so fun - it had been Taichi who had sent the list to her when bored at work one afternoon and jokingly said, ‘Want to pretend to agree to marry me for free dessert?’ But it had been MImi who answered, seriously, ‘Um, heck yes.’

Together they devised a plan to work their way through the entire crowd sourced list. They would go to one restaurant a month and they would make up a new backstory for how they met, how long they had been together, and other various details for each restaurant, just in case. They took a quick trip to Liquem in Hanakawado and selected a sparkly, slightly gaudy ring for under ¥3,000.

From there on, it was showtime.

Looking at the view count on the video, Mimi’s eyes widened. Since Daisuke had sent it the day before, the video had now amassed over 4 million views and over 10 thousand comments.

“Oh my god,” Mimi mumbled, opening up the comments section and scanning them.

“Holy shit the way he looks at her, I’m —”

“Her face!! She looks so in love!!”

“If my finance doesn’t look at me like that then I don’t want it!”

“Ew, people like this? It’s so public. No thanks.”

“Her dressssss? Mommy? Sorry. Mommy?”

“Crying in single over here.”

“Who gets engaged at NARISAWA are you SERIOUS? I would be mortified.”

“He’s so hot.”

Flustered, Mimi closed the comments and focused on the video. On screen, she watched as her hands flew to her face as Taichi looked up at her, nervously, beaming, a Harry Styles song playing over them. The Mimi on screen nodded excitedly and the face of the Taichi on screen split into a grin. Mimi suddenly felt like she had to look away.

They really did look happy.

Before she had a moment to think about it further, her phone began to buzz in her hand. A text from her parents.

Family Chat Friday - 8:34am

Mama: Oh, Mimi!!!! We just saw it!!! https://www.tiktok.com/@minakolovesyou/video/87362956028361822 We’re SO SO EXCITED FOR YOU ( ´•̥̥̥o•̥̥̥`)♡(˘̩̩̩̩̩̩ ⌂ ˘̩̩̩̩̩̩)

Mama: Why didn’t you tell us you and Yagami-san were dating? We would have been so happy!!

Papa: Mimi, darling, you have some explaining to do. But we are VERY VERY HAPPY!!!!! ( ‘́⌣’̀)/(˘̩̩ε˘̩ƪ) CALL US!!!!!!

Mama: CALL US VERY SOON!!! AS SOON AS YOU CAN!!!! CALL US!!! ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

Papa: ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

#digimon #fanfic #taichi x mimi #michi #taichi/mimi #otp: flew to japan for a soccer game #fic: mine #fic: I'd marry you with paper rings #part two coming this week or someday idk!!!!

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mypoisonedvine · 4 years ago

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Exchanging Gifts | chubby!Bucky Barnes x reader

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARINA!!! @ballyhoobarnes you’re such a sweet person and so talented and a great friend and ily and also ur hot, which is less relevant but still worth mentioning

summary: chubby!bucky takes you out for your birthday, and even though he’s inexperienced, he knows how to show you a good time if you know what I mean... listen it’s pretty much fluffy pwp idk what to tell you

warnings: smut!!, oral (m receiving), loss of virginity (his, of course lol), some fingering, overstimulation, creampie kink, praise kink, morning sex, bucky being insecure?? FLUFF it’s FLUFFY you guys but somehow it turned out filthy too idk i couldn’t help it.

word count: just under 4k, hot damn how did that happen

Even though you'd insisted he didn't need to do anything special for your birthday, Bucky had shown up with a dozen roses and dinner reservations. "Get dressed up fancy," he instructed you the moment you'd opened the door. "This place has a black tie dress code."

He was a true gentleman the whole night, until he walked you back to your place. The second you were on the other side of your door, you couldn't keep your hands off of each other.

"You're so wonderful," you murmured between breathless kisses as you stumbled back towards the couch.

"This better not be you thinking you owe me anything because I paid for your dinner," he chuckled, "on your birthday."

"Oh it's not that at all," you smiled, running your hands over his chest.

"What is it then?"

You smirked. He always seemed to need a reason, as if 'you're my boyfriend and you're hot' wasn't reason enough. "Can I be honest with you, Bucky?" you asked quietly, licking your lips subconsciously.

"Always!"

"It's times like this that I'm just really in the mood to suck your cock."

He stammered a little, running a hand through his hair nervously.

"Really?"

"Yup."

He laughed for a second, then got serious again, then just looked horrifically nervous. "Oh, well I, uh…"

"We don't have to do anything about that, I just felt like saying it—"

"What if we did do something about it?"

You raised an eyebrow. "Would you want me to?"

"Of course I want you to," he sighed. "I know we've been taking things really slow— and I'm so glad you've been patient with me— I just… god, you're perfect," he laughed.

"That's far from the truth," you dismissed. "But I've been happy to take things slow with you. Even when sometimes it felt like I would die if I couldn't get my hands on you…"

You ran your hands over his chest, feeling how warm and soft he was beneath the shirt he was wearing.

"Ah, I've been there," he replied wistfully.

"Really? You relate to that?"

"I barely made it through dinner," he admitted with a laugh. "All I could think about was… doing this…" he trailed off as he leaned in and began to lick and suck at your neck; his arms wrapped around your waist and you were like putty in them.

"Oh god, Buck," you moaned.

"Say my name like that again," he pleaded.

"Make me," you challenged.

He growled a little as he pulled you back to straddle him on the couch. You couldn't stop yourself from grinding down on him, moaning again when you felt the hard shape of his cock rubbing right against your clit through your dress and panties.

"Mm, take this off," you purred, tugging at his shirt and tie.

"C-can I keep it on?"

You got a little more serious. "Of course you can, if you want to. But I'll admit that I wanna see you."

"And if you don't like what you see?"

"Unlikely, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I'll take mine off first if you'd like?"

"Obviously I'd like," he chuckled, "but that's easy for you to say. You're, you know, sexy and stuff."

"As if you're not?"

"I'm not," he informed you.

"Bucky, I'm gonna level with you: you are so fucking sexy it's actually gonna be the death of me someday," you laughed. "Don't you realize I think about you all the time?" you asked, getting a little more serious. "Bucky, those times where you came over and we made out, or fooled around? As soon as you left I was getting myself off right here on this couch— even when you'd already made me come while you were over. That's how horny you make me— and when you're not here and all I can do is imagine you, I always call out your name when I—"

"Baby," he groaned, "you'd better stop talking like that or this is gonna end a lot sooner than I want it to."

You chuckled before you started to slip off the straps of your dress, loving the way he watched you do it: enraptured.

You were taken by surprise when, the moment your breasts had spilled from the dress, he leaned forward to suck your nipple between his lips.

With a gasp and a moan, you gripped at his hair and let your head fall back. Either you were really sensitive, or he was really good at this-- probably a little bit of both, but fuck if you weren’t beyond needy and desperate at this point.

"Please, Bucky," you whimpered.

"What is it, angel? Anything you want, you can have it," he mumbled as he switched to the other side (symmetry is very important with these sorts of things) and you rubbed your hips against his absent-mindedly.

"Please, please, I need to taste you Bucky, oh my god please let me taste you—"

He nodded and you sighed with relief, beginning to slide down his body as you loosened his tie and opened his shirt. With each button you exposed more of his body, lathing every inch of skin with kisses.

"How's this?" you asked him softly, looking up at him through your lashes. "Is this okay?"

"It's very unfamiliar," he answered, "and much more than okay."

"Has nobody done this to you before?"

"Nobody's ever wanted to."

You smirked a little. "Oh, I doubt that." You palmed his cock through the suit pants, grinning when he jerked a little under your touch. Slowly, you opened the fly and pulled it out.

Of course you'd seen his cock before, but not for very long and not up close like this. It suddenly seemed intimidatingly big; you weren't sure you were going to be able to get much of it in your mouth… but you were excited to try!

You weren't sure you had the heart to tease him very much, but you wanted to give it a try at least. You licked the head first, then down the shaft, then back up slowly. He was quiet at first, too busy watching you to say anything, but you knew he was losing patience when his fingers brushed over the side of your face; you could feel his restraint, you could feel that urge to grab your hair and guide you.

"Go ahead," you encouraged, "tell me what you want."

"Put it in your mouth, please," he whimpered.

When you obeyed by pushing his cock all the way to the back of your throat, he made the most beautiful sound: like a gasp and a moan all at once. His hips bucked up into your throat ever so slightly and the sensation of choking made you grow even wetter.

"Fuck," he sighed, "'s so good…"

You moved up and down, savoring every ridge of him as it slid over your tongue. Each movement grew a little faster as you used your hand to stroke what your lips couldn't reach.

"Baby," he moaned, "oh my god, s-slow down, please— 'm so close, ah fuck yes—"

You stopped for a moment and used only your hand, catching your breath a little as you took a moment to appreciate how good he looked like this.

"Is it okay if I make you come?" you asked.

"Is it okay if it doesn't take you very long at all?" he returned, already sounding positively wrecked.

“I’ll take it as a compliment,” you decided.

“You should,” he confirmed, whimpering again when you took him back into your mouth and let your tongue explore whatever it could reach.

The taste of his pre-cum made you moan, and the vibrations of that moan made him grip your shoulder tightly.

“A-angel, please,” he begged, as if he was worried you would stop for some reason. Your attitude was entirely the opposite, though. All you could think about was how much you wanted to taste his orgasm and swallow it down. Fortunately, that dream came true not too much later when he grabbed the back of your neck and moaned your name loudly— loud enough that you were a little worried the neighbors might hear.

But honestly? You kinda wanted them to.

You kept stroking and sucking until every drop was on your tongue. You smiled up at him and almost spilled some of it but thankfully avoided that fiasco.

“Show me,” he requested softly; it was a relatively mild show of dominance, but it still sent a shiver down your back as you stuck out your tongue and let his seed gather on it. “Fuck,” he whispered, “that was… wow.”

You swallowed before answering, because it seemed like a good order to do things in. The bitter taste as the back of your throat was a small price to pay for him looking at you like that.

“You look drained,” you informed him.

“I am,” he nodded. “Oh, wait, you mean tired? Yeah, that too.”

You laughed a little. “Can we lay down for a minute?”

“It’s 10 p.m., I think it’s acceptable to lay down for more than a minute.”

Deciding to turn in for the night instead (and, of course, have a sleepover), the two of you got ready and changed into pajamas, snuggling up into each other’s arms.

It was an easy sleep after that, and a long one. Bucky woke up first, the very early light of sunrise being less of an influence on his wakefulness compared to you bumping up against him. He didn’t mind, though, he liked to watch you for a minute before you woke up anyways, to appreciate how peaceful you looked.

He heard you hum through your sleep, cuddling up closer to him. It was just cute at first, but then your ass pressed back against crotch and goooood morning…

"Hi there beautiful," he cooed, gently kissing on your temple and down to your neck. You stirred but didn't wake just yet, though you did smile; and he smiled too, loving the way your lips curled— he could remember how those lips looked wrapped around his cock, swollen and slick with spit and come. It was a good memory.

His hand slipped down to your hip, holding you firmly against him: by this point he was so hard he was worried he was going to injure himself somehow.

Finally you woke up, your eyes fluttering open as your sleepy smile turned to a wide, flirtatious grin.

"This might be my favorite way ever to wake up," you informed him.

He chuckled softly, beginning to kiss along your shoulder. "Agreed."

His fingers moved down at a teasingly slow pace; you unabashedly opened your legs, hoping to egg him on. Thankfully, it worked. He started to suck a mark onto the back of your shoulder as he slipped his hand into your panties, instantly discovering how drenched you were and how swollen and sensitive your clit was.

“Oh you poor thing,” he grinned. “When’d you get so wet, angel?”

“It never stops around you,” you explained with a shiver.

It didn’t take much more until you were a begging mess, his fingers working their magic and making your whole body alight with energy.

"Bucky, please—" you whimpered.

"What do you need, angel?" he asked with only a hint of coyness shining through his tone.

"I just— I want more, please…"

"We've tried a lot of new things today," he reminded you. "And it was amazing. And I wondered what you would say if I told you I want to try something else…"

"Oh really?" you purred. "What did you have in mind?"

"This might not be the, uh, most hip language but… I want to make love to you."

Your eyes went a little wide. "Really, Bucky? I mean, you're sure you want me to be—"

"Yes, I'm so sure, I've never been more sure of anything. You've been so amazing and I can't think of a better person to have as my first."

I don't just want you to be my first, I want you to be my only, he added internally, too afraid to say it aloud.

"I wanna be your first, Bucky," you agreed softly, brushing your fingers through his hair. "I'm really— I'm honored you want it to be me. And also I'm very turned on right now."

He laughed and kissed you again, pulling you close. As his body settled between your legs, you revelled in how warm you felt— not hot or sweaty (yet), just warm, and safe, and comforted. He still gave you those butterflies in your stomach, sure, but for once that didn’t seem to just be a cute way of repackaging your anxiety.

With your panties pulled to your ankles and your shirt (which was, of course, actually his shirt that you’d stolen) tossed to the side, he kissed his way down your chest and stomach until his face was buried between your legs.

“Buck, I— fuck I thought you were gonna oh god just like that yes—”

“Wanted to return the favor first,” he explained, his words muffled.

“Didn’t anybody ever tell you it’s rude to talk with your mouth full?” you giggled.

He smiled but kept going, almost gentle at first but quickly finding a few favorite spots and stimulating them mercilessly.

You didn’t mean to pull his hair so hard but he didn’t seem to mind, moaning every time you forced him onto you harder. "Bucky, oh god, don't stop please!” you sobbed.

Of course he didn’t; he wanted you to come, he was a man on a mission and not much could stop him at this point. Just as he began to suck on your clit even harder than before— just hard enough to make the threat of pain tingle up your spine— he pressed two fingers into your opening. One little curl into your g-spot and you were gone, biting down on your lip as your body spasmed uncontrollably.

He moaned as he coaxed you through it; you tried to tap out but he went just a moment longer and for that one moment, you thought your body might just crumble into little pieces from the overwhelming pleasure.

Before you could even catch your breath, he was kissing you again. Your taste on his lips was divinely filthy.

“Need to be inside you,” he explained with a whisper as he started to take off his boxers.

“Please,” you sighed, too weak to even put a full sentence together.

Even with a very thorough warm-up, you couldn’t help but gasp as he pressed into you. Your walls fluttered and flexed as they made way for the intrusion, both of you moaning softly while you arched your back to take him deeper.

“Fuck, you feel incredible,” he whispered as his face buried into your neck. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders— you loved how broad and strong they were— and he pushed up from behind your knees to spread you open for him, the new angle forcing the head of his cock to press right into your spot.

“Fuck!” you cried out. He sat up slightly and looked a little concerned at first. “No, it’s good,” you reassured him, “it’s so good, Bucky, right there—”

He pulled back only to quickly push forward again, setting a pace that wasn’t quite rushed but was certainly a bit desperate. Even so, you were on the verge of begging for more, you needed him so badly.

“Harder, please,” you moaned. Okay, maybe you were a little past being on the verge.

“Is that how you like it? Rough?” he asked darkly.

“Maybe,” you grinned. “Is that how you like it?”

“I don’t know yet,” he responded, his grip on your legs tightening until you were almost tempted to struggle against him just to see if he was strong enough to hold you down, “but I like you telling me how to make you feel good.”

“Then fuck me,” you demanded through your teeth, moaning louder when he obeyed and began to pound into you. The slapping of skin filled the room, as did the revealing sound of your arousal, and it made your face burn even though you were pretty sure he didn’t mind at all.

You were so sensitive from the last time you came that you were already making quick progress towards the next. Didn’t help that your swollen clit was brushing against his cock every time it speared into you.

“You’re— fuck— you’re squeezin’ me, angel,” he hissed. “You gonna come already?”

You couldn’t even speak anymore, just nodding wildly. He leaned forward to kiss you and you were nearly folded in half as he kept his grip on your legs. You weren’t sure anything had been so deep inside you before; you were sure you had never made a sound like the one you made in that moment.

“Fuck, s’that good, huh?” he teased in reaction to the way you were nearly screaming already.

“God, you are the cockiest virgin ever,” you laughed, hoping you could delay the inevitable just a bit longer for the sake of your dignity. You tried to angle your body so he wouldn’t be so deep, so it would be so much, but he held you firm and fucked into you even harder.

“Ah ah ah,” he corrected with a smirk, ��no running away, angel. Gonna make you come on my cock.”

“Oh fuck,” you whimpered, “fuck, Bucky, I’m close…”

“Me too,” he murmured back, kissing you deeply one more time. You hadn’t even imagined how perfect it would feel to come around him with his tongue still in your mouth, your moans blending with his, his fingers digging into your thighs while your nails were sure to leave marks on his back and shoulders. But even if you had tried to imagine how perfect it would feel, you couldn’t have ever come close. The moment you were tumbling over the edge, he was right there with you; you could feel him flexing against your walls as he came, and you were afraid if you let your eyes roll back like you so desperately wanted to, they’d get stuck there or something.

You just barely heard him murmur ‘angel’ as he kissed all down your neck. His body relaxed a little on top of you, though you still felt sensitive and tingly from where your bodies were joined.

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” he admitted, looking down at you as his cheeks turned a little pink.

You couldn’t, though, and he sat up with a sigh as you smiled back up at him. He held your legs up as he pulled out, watching with wide eyes as his come leaked from your hole. You gasped when he reached down to push it back in with two fingers; your whole body jerked when he moved those fingers inside you and started to rub your g-spot again.

“Bucky, what are you—?” you asked breathlessly, but you were already subconsciously pushing back to ride his fingers.

"I wanna see you come one more time," he explained. "You just look so perfect when you do it— and it's the best feeling when I'm doing it to you."

“We can definitely agree on that,” you mumbled. He rubbed little circles over your spot, using his free hand to hold your hips down, forcing you to take all the sensation he was giving you. Knowing that his come was the lubricant for all this made your head spin. “F-fuck, right there,” you whimpered.

“I know,” he smiled. “I can tell you’re close again.”

It wasn’t so much that you were close than that you never got a chance to come down from the high of the last one.

“You’re so perfect, my perfect girl,” he purred, watching you squirm from the praise. “You wanna be my good girl, don’t you? You wanna come for me again?”

“Yes,” you groaned, “god, yes, Bucky—”

He pressed against you harder and your moan quickly shifted to a slightly-embarrassing choking noise. His fingers pumped into faster and faster and your sore walls burned but you still wanted more. He didn’t let up until you were tightening around him with another orgasm, this one burning brighter but shorter, taking all the energy from you at once. He watched your face as you came, loving the way you held your breath, the way your eyes fluttered shut, the way you bit down on your lip—

"Bucky— you said one more—" you whined in confusion when you realized his fingers were still moving, if a little slower, and his thumb was reaching up to press into your clit.

"I never said just one more…" he smirked.

"Fuck, I— I dunno if I can take it!" you sobbed, the sensation nearly too much to handle.

"Oh you can," he purred. "You're so strong, you're so good for me— I know you can. I know you can give me one more."

You literally squealed when he pulled out his fingers only to put his cock in you again. You hadn’t even realized he was still hard.

“Oh my god, Bucky!” you cried out, gripping the sheets for dear life.

"You wanna call out my name like you did when I wasn't around? I bet that's not all you did. I bet you begged, and pleaded, screamed for me to let you come. Am I right?"

You nodded feverishly; his laugh in response had just that hint of condescension, that edge of degradation. Even though you knew he wouldn't judge you for it, admitting it felt dirty in a delicious way.

“‘Cause you wanna be my good girl,” he posited.

“I— I am your good girl,” you stammered, feeling a little silly referring to yourself that way.

He laughed a little, still rubbing your clit as he fucked you hard and fast. “Yeah, you are, angel.”

The petname, even though you’d heard it a thousand times, was what sent you over the edge the last time. You nearly kicked him off you as the pleasure finally reached the point that you truly were at your limit, but thankfully he got the hint before that and pulled out, giving you a much needed break.

“Dear god,” you chuckled through your exhaustion, your eyes falling shut, “that was— you are— I can’t—”

“Was it good?” he asked softly as he laid beside you and pulled you into him.

Your eyes shot open again. “Was… was it good?” you repeated incredulously. “Buck, it was incredible. It was life-ruining. I thought your first time was going to be about you.”

“It was! Making you come four times is me spoiling myself,” he explained, kissing your shoulder. “What’s about you is me letting you shower first.”

“You aren’t gonna join me?” you asked coyly.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, angel,” he warned. “I think you need a rest.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” you grumbled disappointedly. The last thing you needed was to pass out in the shower from him doing that to you again. “Is it really a whole year until my next birthday?”

“Yeah, sadly that’s how those work,” he smiled.

“What about your birthday?”

“Not ‘til March.”

“...that means your half-birthday is just a week away,” you realized.

“So?”

“I think we should start celebrating those.”

He laughed a little. “You wanna get me a half-present?”

“Yeah,” you decided. “I think I’m gonna pay for half of your dinner. Then I’m gonna fuck you halfway to death.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x y/n #chubby!bucky x reader #chubby!bucky smut #chubby!bucky fluff

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fluffymcu · 4 years ago

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Ik you've probably been getting a lot of prompts, but I was wondering if you'd feel inspired to write this one?

So platonic Steve x reader, where she has a sticker or something stuck to the side of her shirt, and when Steve starts trying to get it off, she squirms and he notices. Then he can tell that she's trying so hard to hide the fact that she is super ticklish and he exposes her and thinks it's so cute! (And of course wrecks her)

Sorry if this is bad lol

———

“Our school is making us come up with our own glue adhesive as a school project. We have 2 weeks to turn it in and have to use these laminated papers to put the adhesive on. I’m so gonna use bits of my web formula to make the best sticker!” Peter chortled, telling everyone about his project at dinner.

You nodded with a hum, taking another bite of spaghetti. “Cool. How much have you gotten done?” You asked.

“I’ve done many samples dealing with different strengths and thicknesses. All I have to do is apply them to the papers.” He nodded.

——

The next morning you woke up extra early due to Thor coming in and asking you where the PS4 controller was at. You told him it was where you left it last but he proceeded to say it wasn’t there and made you get up and look for it with him; claiming that Korg was waiting for him to join the ps party. After that, you just decided to stay up and make yourself some coffee since you were still more than half asleep.

Once you made your mug, you lazily sipped and laid your upper body flat on the island, sighing in content at the cold feeling of the counter on your face. Just then, Steve walked in the kitchen and gave you a bright smile. “You’re up early!” He grinned, wiping off his forehead with his towel even though he was barely sweating. That man could spend hours at the gym and come out without a drop of sweat.

“Sarcastic thanks to Thor for that.” You jazzed your hands. Steve chuckled and patted your back.

“Go back to sleep then, sleepy head!”

Right as you were about to agree, Peter walked in the kitchen, overdoing his safety gear. Goggles, gloves, an apron, and even a hair net. All that for glue?

He stopped in his tracks once he saw you. “Uhh, y/n? Did you lay on my stickers?” He asked, a nervous tone is his voice. You furrowed your eyebrows and leaned up to check your side. You had indeed laid on his sticker. Your eyes widened.

“Oh, goddd.” You groaned. “Can it come off easily?”

“I mean, I did use the same components as my web formula so, I’m guessing it’ll be really... sticky?” He shrugged apologetically.

“Why were you doing your school project on the kitchen counter?” You cried.

“In my defense! None of you are up this early except Steve so I was planning to be done with this by the time you’d all be up!” He raised his hands defensively.

Steve bit his lip and stepped toward you. “Here, lemme see if I can take it off.” He said, taking a seat on the island stool and motioning for you to come close.

Since the sticker was stuck on your side, right under your armpit and on your ribs, when he began to try to pull it off, the constant scratching at it was tickling a lot. You pursed your lips and tensed up, closing your eyes and trying to steady your breaths.

“In the mean time, I’ll go see if I can find my web dissolving solution. Hopefully that could help!” Peter said, running up to his little mini lab Tony made for him.

“Why didn’t he just do his experiment in his lab?” Steve chuckled. You shook your head along with him.

“But have you seen his lab? It’s a mess. I’d be surprised if he’d actually be able to find that solution in that pile of storage boxes.” You sighed, jerking a bit when he started to scratch harder.

Steve smirked as he quickly realized what he was doing. He’s seen Bucky tickle you sometimes to tease you and he’s seen that he usually targets your ribs and gets a big reaction. He found it cute. “Am I hurting you?” He asked, pausing what he was doing. You shook your head quickly.

“No. Just- no.” You shrugged, hating yourself for not being able to think of a good excuse. Steve nodded, hiding his smirk while continuing to pry at the sticker. It was so hard to keep your arm up!

After a minute you felt his thumb scratch at your lower rib which made you pull your arm down out of reflex. “Woah, you okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah I’m great! Just... umm maybe I can try to take it off myself.” You said, trying to walk away but Steve gently grabbed your arm.

“Hang on, it’s ok. No need to get frustrated or impatient. Let me help you. Peter should be here with the solution soon if this doesn’t work.” He said. You sighed and lifted you arm again, letting him try to peel it off.

A few moments passed of you trying to desperately hold in your laughter and keep your arm up. Steve has smirking behind you, knowing how hard you were trying. Finally, he spoke up.

“You think I don’t know what you’re doing, y/n/n? You’re hiding your laughter.” He teased, smiling widely when you turned to look at him with slightly wide eyes. “Yeah, honey. I know you’re ticklish.” Right then, he pounced, pulling you to his chest and instantly pinching all around your waistline, chuckling as you let out your laughter. “Thaaat’s it. Let those little giggles aaaall out.” He grinned, laughing when you threw your head back on his shoulder.

“STAHAHAHAP!” You cried, trying to escape from the super soldier’s grasp. But he had you caged against him and basically sitting on his lap. You were done for.

“But this is too cute! Look at you giggling your worries away, I bet you’ve forgotten about the sticker already, yeah?” He teased, blowing a raspberry on your neck, making you scream.

“AHH! HAHAHAHA WHO TOHOHOLD YOU I WAHAHAS TICK- HAH! TICK- HAHAHA!! STEHEHEHEVE!” You squealed, kicking out your legs.

“Yes, y/n?” He sang, wiggling his finger in your belly button. You arched your back with a squeal and fell into silent laughter. Steve took it as a sigh to let you breathe and let you go. You went limp in his arms and panted, a smile on your face and letting out residual giggles. Steve held you close to him with a smile and gently rocked you. “Your laugh is adorable, y/n.” He smiled.

You groaned in embarrassment and turned a bit to hide your face on his shoulder. “You’ve heard it beforeee.” You grumbled.

“Yeah, but not like this!” He whined, mimicking your tone and pinching your hip, causing you to flinch with a giggle.

“Hey guys, I found the solution!” Peter squealed, running down the stairs. “I got it! This can probably take it off!”

“Probably?? Peter with what I just endured, it better work. I wanna get out of here and go back to bed.” You sighed tiredly.

“What did you endure?” He asked. You hummed in thought, hesitating to answer. He smirked. “Just kidding. I heard you from upstairs.” He said cheekily.

You narrowed your eyes at him as you felt heat flush through your cheeks, making Steve chuckle.

“Just put on the damn solution.”

——-

#ticklish!reader #tickle fight #tickle fic #avengers tickle #marvel tickle #tickle fluff #avengers #marvel #marvel mcu #peter parker #bucky barnes #peter x reader #peter parker x reader #steve rogers #steve tickles reader #steve x reader

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glowingbadger · 4 years ago

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SFW and nsfw request for Hilda, Marianne, and Dorothea pls!

Three lovely ladies coming right up ~ (I'm keeping things a tiny bit more brief than some other posts for each character since we have three this time around so this doesn't get too crazy long lol- I'm trying to pace myself a little better these days)

SFW (nsfw below the cut)

Hilda:

- Hilda is so fun as a partner, since she always knows how to have a good time without stressing the little things (or the medium things... or the big things...). She fully encourages you to join her in her lifelong effort to live as easily and comfortably as possible, and she hates to see you anxious or stressed. When you're in a bad mood, few people are as relaxing to be around, as she probably has a cute little craft she could use your help on while reminding you that "we're together, right? So between the two of us, we can get as much done with half the effort- so don't worry about the boring stuff!"

- She's the type to have really cute, thoughtful ideas for dates and gifts, but then to play it off completely when you thank or compliment her. She'll downplay gifts with a glib, "Oh, well, I was just in the mood to throw something together- it is nice though, isn't it?" doing her best to hide the please flush across her cheeks. She's confident, of course, but she doesn't immediately want to let on how much effort actually goes into her shows of affection. Overall, she's a little concerned by how her feelings for you make her want to put in effort, so if anyone comments on it, she'll do her best to disregard the conversation and act like her 'normal' self.

Marianne:

- As you might imagine, she needs a lot of assurance that you're sure you want to be with her- it simply seems too good to be true, when she harbors so many deeply seeded doubts about herself. With a good amount of encouragement though, she's a very loyal and affectionate partner. She's great at remembering birthdays, anniversaries and the like, always putting her whole heart into finding just the right token to show you the strength of her feelings. She'll also do her best to say it aloud, but she tends to murmur and stutter her way through her attempts- at least until a good while into the relationship.

- in a sort of cat-like way, her main way of showing her affection is to simply be near you (though of course, she asks over and over whether it bothers you to have her around). She loves to spend time quietly together, resting her head on your shoulder or your lap. The cutest thing is that, when you're relaxing together like this, if you brush her bangs aside and kiss her forehead, or simply smile warmly at her and tell her something simple and sweet, like how lovely her eyes are- and she just melts. Her face burns bright crimson, and she'll try to hide behind her hands, but it's obvious she's just overwhelmingly flattered.

Dorothea:

- Being with Dorothea is sometimes like dating a celebrity- you're asked for details about her and your relationship with her all the time, and you're considered more of a catch simply for being with her. She is, of course, aware of all of this, and simply rolls her eyes at the attention. For as glamorous as she seems, and as 'wild' as others assume your relationship must be, Dorothea actually has a rather classic idea of how relationships go. She enjoys all of the sweet little gestures and day-to-day expressions of affection- even just casually holding hands as you walk through town, or taking a bite of a pastry you hold out for her over tea.

- It's going to take a lot to make Dorothea feel secure enough to truly settle down with one person. It's always been her ultimate goal, of course, and her feelings for you are true and strong- but she's so accustomed to being self sufficient and independent. Best practice is to assure her that she's still more than welcome to exercise that independence as much as it suits her, and that you'll always be there when she does need your support. That level of understanding is a huge comfort to her. Perhaps paradoxically, knowing that she's free to do as she likes actually makes her far more willing to compromise here and there, and be giving and generous to her partner.

NSFW 18+ v

Mostly Gender Neutral, some AMAB

Hilda:

- It might not be a surprise that Hilda loves being coddled and spoiled in bed- but her absolute favorite is receiving oral. Her clit is very sensitive, and going down on her will have her moaning blissfully and arching up from the bed. If you're really devoted, it won't take long to learn how to get her to squirt like this. Pressing the flat of your tongue firmly to her clit and pulsing against her, moaning as you hold onto her thighs make her cum hard, her vision going white as she whimpers out your name.

- In general, Hilda likes to be with a soft dom. She likes a lover who takes the lead and directs her, but isn't too demanding or harsh, instead cooing to her about what a good girl she is for you, how wonderful her body feels, how cute she is when she moans your name. Her favorite position is to have you fucking her from behind with her lower body propped up on a pillow- and with time, she even discovers that she loves having you grab a hand full of her hair and tug on it while you thrust into her. It's a gorgeous view as well, since she has a nicely defined but plump ass that bounces beautifully against you as you buck into her.

- Hilda is quite fond of cockwarming and similar kinks, and the occasional slow, lazy love-making session with you spooning her in bed as your hips sway against her. She likes this relaxing, low-pressure way of feeling intimate with you, and given her clit is so sensitive, it's not like she requires a huge amount of stimulation to cum. She'll gladly spend a night in bed casually chatting as you slide into her and just savor the warmth of her wet cunt swallowing you.

Marianne:

- You're likely to be her first sexual partner, and it's going to take a long while for her to even feel comfortable exposing herself to you. With enough reassurance and a lot of pre-sex fooling around (one night you may just touch each other a bit while making out, then she may be comfortable with your fingers the next time, and so on), she eventually gains the confidence to realize that you do truly want her, and she wants you dearly as well. Eventually, the trust itself becomes oddly arousing to her, and while it will take a long time to discover this, she actually adores being blindfolded while you take your time touching and savoring her body. Being forced to focus so intently on physical sensation clears her mind of her anxieties.

- Marianne is surprisingly vocal in bed, though she doesn't want to be. It's honestly adorable, the way her hands cling to the sheets or to your body, her face a bright pink as she bites on her lip to stifle an adoring moan. Even light touches down the small of her back or up the curve of her inner thigh cause her to catch her breath, looking up at you adoringly with those big, shining eyes. Trying to hold back her moans is something she's not likely to 'grow out of' with experience, but she's so precious when her eyes roll back and she's whining and whimpering just to keep from crying out your name, it's hard to be upset about it.

Dorothea:

- Dorothea knows what she's doing, and she knows it- and she knows that she's tempting. While not an outright Dom by default (though she can definitely be encouraged into that role and she takes to it marvelously), she is confident and direct in bed. She'll smirk as she straddles your hips and runs her hands down your body, commenting on how she just can't wait to see you completely cut loose. In particular, she loves when you try to play cool and act as though she's not driving you mad with desire, only to fall apart as she pleasures you, gasping her name and leaning into her touch, or even breaking your sense of restraint and pinning her to the mattress to ravage her.

- She's not terribly loud in bed, much more likely to whisper sweet, sultry flattery into your ear. When she does let out an earnest moan, it's luxurious and lustful, almost song-like in its own right. Dorothea is also not shy about telling you what she likes or about trading notes on different positions or kinks you may want to try. She knows that everyone has unique desires, and she sees sex as both a bonding experience for the two of you, and as something that should be fun and easily enjoyed by you both.

- Dorothea loves giving tit-jobs and she is incredible at them. Even if you're just using a strap, she loves showing off her body to you, watching the expression of awe, admiration and a touch of disbelief as she puts on a lewd show of bouncing her breasts around your length. Her technique is impressive, and she's good enough at reading people that she'll easily figure out what you like best. Do you want to see the tip of your length pushing up from her cleavage, or would you prefer the warmth of her lips around your tip? How tight do you like her to squeeze her tits around you, and what pace gets you panting and bucking against her? She'll have you figured out in no time.

#hilda valentine goneril #marianne von edmund #dorothea arnault #hilda x reader #marianne x reader #dorothea x reader #fire emblem #fire emblem headcanons #spicy headcanons #fire emblem smut #fire emblem imagines #fe3h #feh #fire emblem three houses #x reader #fire emblem x reader

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moonstruckwytch · 4 years ago

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43. are you an avid reader?

i am absolutely an avid reader. both of fanfic and original fiction as well as nonfiction. i’ve got certain style preferences, but overall if you put it in front of me i’ll read it. my tbr list on goodreads is 225 books long, and that’s just what i’ve remembered to add. i’m constantly in the middle of multiple books at once, especially because school often cuts into my reading time, and things i want to read have to be set aside in favor of working.

i’m currently actively reading the following:

This Is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone - a sci fi epistolary romance between two agents on opposite sides of a time war. it’s queer, and the style is wonderfully declarative and succinct. i’m only a couple chapters in so far but it’s fabulous. was recommended to me by my harry potter phenomenon course professor, whose opinion i value greatly

The Body, a Guide For Occupants by Bill Bryson - a nonfiction exploration of the human body, from a cellular level upwards and outwards. dry humor, witty beyond belief, full of weird facts to text your friends and make them ask “cori, what the fuck, why do you know that?” for example: did you know that our bodies don’t have wetness receptors on most of our skin? we rely on temperature cues to let us know, which is why sitting down on something cold often feels like sitting on something wet. it’s wild. i’ve been meaning to read some of Bryson’s work for a while now, and this seems like a good one to start with. i’m also looking forward to digging into his books on other subjects.

Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? and Other Questions About Dead Bodies by Caitlin Doughty - this is actually my second read through of this & it’s for a purpose. i’m annotating it to pass off to a friend, in a weird sort of informal asynchronous book club we’re doing. it’s a casual walkthrough of questions kids have asked california-based mortician Caitlin Doughty and her answers. Doughty is a personal hero of mine, and her writing is sharp, witty, and conversational in all the right ways. i was exposed to her through her youtube channel Ask A Mortician, and reading her writing feels incredibly similar to watching her videos in the best way. though the book is written in answer to children’s questions i think it’s great for all ages - lighthearted but still serious it’s a great intro to conversations about death for those who aren’t entirely on the Death Positivity train the way i am. i’ll stop rambling about her now because i could talk for hours - feel free to message me or shoot another ask if you’re curious for more about her and her work

things i’ve read this year i’ve enjoyed:

The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune - oh so cute gay romance between a social worker for magical children and the caretaker of a remote magical orphanage that houses the strangest assortment of children. LOVED IT LOVED IT LOVED IT

Harry Potter 1-5 by she who i revile and will not name - took a course on the series impact on society in a literary and social sense. was supposed to read all the books. only managed to get through 5 before the rest of my course load swamped me. will probably launch a full reread through soonish, once i get through the 26 other books i want to finish in 2021 (lol as if cori)

Still Warm, Still Warm by @tsauergrass - read today, hugely atmospheric, lovely portrayal of draco and harry, they’re both idiots and they’re in love and it’s just really wonderful to sink your teeth into

The Ordeal of Being Known, and its sequel The Rewards of Being Loved by @lou-isfake - read a few weeks ago and have not stopped thinking about since. rich world, beautiful relationship build. competent yet anxious draco, magically powerful harry, it’s all there. and the writing... oof. lou makes me want to be a better writer myself

Telling the Bees by @cibeewastaken - yes i know how it’s tagged i promise it is worth it it’s so lovely i keep revisiting the last bit for how harry confesses to draco. it’s just. wow. just trust me on this one

there are literally so many more fics i could tag or rec but i will limit myself to the 3 (4) i have here because this is already too long and all you wanted to know was if i read, not what i’m reading or recommendations. i hope you check some of them out anyway, and i hope you enjoy them if you do. in another life i’m most certainly studying to be a librarian, and that impulse takes over sometimes, oops?

ask me questions from this list!

#this really well and truly got away from me #cori book recs #cori fic recs #new tags yay!#to the three fic authors i tagged i hope that was okay!!#cori rambles #seriously tho ask me about caitlin doughty i will love you forever #cori replies

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obeymeplz · 4 years ago

Text

one of those days ll mammon x gn reader

LISTEN guys... I’ve peeled through every single fanfic and one shot of my boy boy that I can find.

I’m done, finished, kaput. And I need content. So I decided to make my own.

2k words, ft. Belphie my salty homie

Warnings: mean(ish) mammon (because I’m a hoe for angst, highly implicative of smut...?, cussing...?

Enjoy ig ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry if I suck LOL

It was one of those days, and it all began when you dropped your plate of pickled pancakes (it’s an acquired Devildom taste) all over your crisp, white shoes. Beel involuntarily frowned at the waste of food, while the other demon boys snickered at your inherent clumsiness, Lucifer merely rolling his eyes before excusing himself from the table. But someone was missing that morning.

From that moment on, you knew nothing would be going your way.

Your bad luck followed you to second period, where you received a colossal “F” on your scrying test, and then to lunch where Satan and Asmo had to pull you out of a fight with a succubus who had thought it her business to label you a “suck up whore”. This was a name you were used to; from the moment you arrived, every demon and unthinkable hoard in the Devildom believed you to be sleeping with every brother in the House of Lamentation, playing through all of them with zero consequences. Despite the utter falsity of these accusations, they hurt no less every time you had to hear them.

And to top today’s cake with a juicy red cherry, the one single person who could make all your worries melt away with just a smile had been nowhere in your sights all day. Mammon was indeed the sunshine you needed on this dreary afternoon, with his dumb tinted glasses and cocky remarks, yet endearing eyes and wondrous grin.

Staring out the window of an empty chem room, waiting for someone to be available to walk you home, you realized that it was an odd day - such a new world you’d been thrown into, yet so quickly you had familiarized yourself with your new “normal”; and now that normal wasn’t there. There were certain things you knew, day in and day out.

The sun will (sort of) rise.

The sun will (kind of) set.

You live in Hell.

Mammon will always be there.

These things you counted on to be true, because if they weren’t, you weren’t entirely certain how you’d keep your sanity intact.

“For a human who’s supposed to be completely inferior to our kind, you sure do seem to think a lot”.

Belphie.

“Gee, Belphie, you know, “you sure do” have a way with words. Thank you! I just feel so much better”, you scoffed a retort as you swung your legs over the ledge of the window to face the cow-haired boy, clearly having just woken from sleeping through 7th period. He only smirked at you.

“I heard you need a warm body to walk next to, and I figured I could use the company. Home?”

You smiled smally as he helped you to your feet. “Yeah, home sounds nice”.

He reciprocated the smile.

“So, what really has you down in the dumps?”

You shrugged as you tried to formulate a thought that might make sense to him.

“Well… I guess I-”, you had to cut off mid sentence, because something familiar began to tickle your ears — a laugh, one you’d been aching to hear all day.

“Belphie, is that… is that Mammon? Where has he been all day?”, you were asking the question, but your legs were already moving you out the door away from the answer. He replied, but you could only piece together bits as you got further away from him, following the voice of the snow-haired boy instead. Argument, Mammon left, crashed with friends, all night, definitely in trouble. That’s what you processed.

“Mammon-” you rounded the corner, but halted in your tracks, backing behind it when you came near face-to-face with a group of demons much taller and much stronger than you, energies darker than the ones you were used to being surrounded by.

He hadn’t heard you.

“Bro, that was a riot. You gotta swing with us more often my man”.

“Ya know Lucifer wouldn’t even think ‘bout lettin’ me ride with you guys on the day-to-day. ‘Sides, I got things to do”.

“You mean a human to babysit?”, your breath caught in your throat. You heard Mammon scoff.

“No! I do what I want. They’re cool.”

Your heart pounded into your throat (but that’s something you’d never let him know). You were just friends, and you weren’t sure if you’d ever be more. Sure, he was terrible at hiding how much he cared about you, and sure, he was ridiculously possessive over you, but he’s also the Avatar of Greed, so how much of that is him needing you versus his sin needing you? The way you saw it, neither of those things amounted to relationship-worthy love.

The conversation was droning on, and you’d almost forgotten you were listening.

“So, you fuckin that then or what?”

Your head snapped back into full awareness, the tone of your feelings completely changing every second, anxiously awaiting your favorite demon’s reply. Why were you so nervous? He wouldn’t lie about you, he wouldn’t slander your name — not with what people already thought of you because you lived in a giant house with 7 painfully-attractive, desire-filled, and experienced, rulers of Hell.

“Yeah, the rumors true?”

Mammon’s voice came next at a grumble.

He stuttered it.

You almost didn’t catch it.

You must not have.

“Y-yeah. No, I mean absolutely. I mean, how could a human even turn down The Great Mammon? They couldn’t, and they don’t.”

You must not have heard it — but you did, and you almost wished you hadn’t

Before your thoughts could catch up with your limbs, you found yourself rounding the corner yet again. “Yeah, how could they not, Mammon?”, your voice cracking at the end, despite all your efforts to come across smooth and level-headed.

“MC..”, Mammon’s mouth instantly hung open, his chill facade easily melting away. He looked almost identical to a lost puppy within moments.

“Oh you can bet, Mammon fucks me every single night — no feelings involved, because that’s just the kind of big man he is. He’s even fucking me RIGHT NOW. Right, Mon?”, you seethed his nickname through your teeth. Tears were starting to puddle at the lids of your eyes, threatening to expose just how much you really cared for him, and just how unspeakably broken you felt in that moment.

“M-MC. Pl- please don’t —“, he was already approaching you, pushing past the group of boys. You turned on your heel, catching the watching eyes of Belphie at the end of the hall. You ran for him until you were in reach to yank on his arm, pulling him behind you, as fast and as far away from that school, and Mammon, as possible.

“MC!”

Mammon will always be there.

Mammon would not always be there. This was a new truth you heartbrokenly added to your list.

———————————————————-

Your room was icily cold, numbingly so.

You always kept it like that when you were sad, hoping maybe some of the lack of feeling in your body would translate to your heart.

Hoping you wouldn’t feel so shattered.

You trusted him. And he broke it. He broke you.

These are obvious statements, but as you laid solemnly tucked under a heap of blankets, you couldn’t help but run them, and the scene from today, over and over again through your brain.

Maybe you were overreacting?

Mammon had always been the brother, despite his tsundere attitude, who protected you. He never lost his cool with you, and he never treated you poorly. Maybe he made a few callous remarks here and there, but they were gentle underneath, and just his own way of showing you a glimpse of the angel wings he’d lost a long time ago.

Mammon had become your home.

“MC?”

The voice was muffled through the door, but it was undoubtedly him. You weren’t sure if you were shocked, happy, angry, or assured that he had come, but either way, you wouldn’t dare leave your covers to open the locked door. Not yet.

“MC. Please. Open the door. I-I just wanna talk to ya…”

You didn’t budge.

“I will kick this down, ya know”. You were both quiet until you heard some shuffling outside. Your eyes went wide, ready for a foot to come flying through shards of your door. You scrambled to your feet, stumbling over to the rusted knob.

You cracked it open.

“Please don’t. I don’t want to sleep in Beel’s room another week because my room needs renovating for the millionth time.”

Mammon smiled shyly at you, apologetically more than anything.

“Can I.. ya know, come in?”

You pulled out of the way, making just enough room for the tall, lean demon to slip through the crack in your door.

The moment he stepped in, he was engulfed in darkness, nothing but dim threads of moonlight that seeped in through your curtains to highlight the sharp features of his face and body. He’d shed his jacket since earlier, leaving him in his fitted black tee and jeans.

So beautiful.

You mentally slapped yourself for even thinking about it.

You were mad at him.

“So. Please talk. I’m exhausted and wasn’t planning on even looking at you tonight.” You were curt. But you had to be, or else you wouldn’t be able to hold anything back, whether that be anger, or adoration.

He looked taken back — hurt — too. He glanced at your bed and the candy wrappers strewn about the floor. Mammon wasn’t too bright, but he knew enough to know when someone had been crying for well over an hour.

On a normal occasion, he would’ve thrown himself onto your sheets, rolling until he found a comfortable position to scroll his D.D.D. and poke at you for hours.

But tonight, he awkwardly crossed his arms and shuffled his feet, clearly unsure of what to say first — or at all, for that matter.

“I-“

You raised a tired eye, cueing him to spit whatever excuse he could possibly say out.

“I get a bad rep sometimes.”

What?

“For liking ya.. Hanging with ya.”

If this was an apology, it was the worst one you’d ever heard in your life.

“Oh? Sorry. I didn’t mean to be a burden to your bravado. Let me continue to take myself out of the picture.” You pointed at the door for him to leave, ready to break down the moment he walked through.

“No! That- that’s not what I meant.” He made eye contact for a mere moment, silently begging for you to see his sincerity.

“Is anything ever what you mean, Mammon?” The use of his full name in a mix with that tone clearly set him back, but he shook it off hurriedly.

“Yes! I mean, I don’t care. Usually. I’d-I’d just had a rough day with Luci. Rough life, more like, and I was tired of feelin’ like shit ‘bout myself. Nazriel’s question jus’ threw me off. I-I wanted to seem cool, so I said what I knew would make me, and-“

“And you’re a piece of shit for it”.

You weren’t wrong. And he knew that.

“... and I’m a piece of shit for it.”

There was a pause before he hesitantly continued.

“I wound up bein’ exactly what I was tryin’ not to be. Scummy.”

He raised his eyes to meet yours, blue hues morphing into gold flecks like waves crashing on the beach. Your breath hitched and caught in your throat, only now realizing that the whole time you’d been arguing, you’d both been slowly edging together. Now, you were dangerously close.

“You aren’t scummy, Mammon…”, you began to tenderly look at him.

“Yeah.. I am. But that’s just me, I guess. I can’t mind it.”

He took one step, leaving you toe to toe. Though one of the shorter of the boys, he still towered over you.

“I jus’ can’t be scummy to you.”

You tilted your head, heart and body language softening as he spoke.

“I shouldn’t be, and I don’ wanna be”.

His hands cautiously made their way to your shoulders, and you shuddered at the feeling that made its way through your bones.

“Mammon?”

“Yeah?”

“That apology shouldn’t have worked.”

He chuckled, “you’re right.”

You smiled, a true smile. The first one all day. And what came next, you knew probably shouldn’t. But you also didn’t really care.

“Mammon?”

He hummed in response, and you stood as high as you could on your tip-toes to kiss his cheek. His face deeply rouged the moment your lips met his hot skin.

His eyes were wide as you lowered yourself down, leaving a hand lingering on his arm.

In that moment, his aura shifted, and everything was suspensefully still. Within seconds, his arms wrapped you in a crushing hug, his breath heavy and warm behind your ear.

You sunk your weight into his, relishing the relief from the chill of your room, as you snaked your arms behind his back.

You weren’t entirely sure how long you stood like that, but you knew it must’ve been a while, because his grip was starting to affect your breathing.

“Mon- air”,

He lightened up and pulled back from you.

“S-sorry!”

Your lips turned up at the sight of his cute embarrassment. He scowled at you, knowing what you were thinking, but slowly started to laugh.

He leaned his forehead against yours, the sudden proximity causing you to let out a slight squeak.

“Ya drive me nuts, ya know?”

You searched his eyes, trying to make sure he was saying what you really thought he was.

This was a bad idea. For so many reasons.

But truthfully, neither of you gave two shits.

So he ghosted his lips over yours, his left fang biting his bottom, waiting for the sign to move — the sign that you wanted him, the sign that he would be enough.

The second you tilted your nose to the side of his, he crashed his mouth into yours.

From all the “first kisses” with your “first man” that you’d imagined, this was like none of them.

It was so

so much better.

It was fast, it was hard, but it wasn’t rough. It wasn’t brutal. It wasn’t empty. It was a cataclysm of feelings — pent up tension, pent up love.

As he dragged his mouth over yours, he hooked his hands under your legs, lifting you to wrap around him in one, swift movement. Then, he was on the move, backing himself toward your bed until the back of his knees met the mattress, and he collapsed, pulling your legs to straddle his lap. You hadn’t disconnected from his lips the entire time, still fervently needing more of him. You knew he felt the same. The demon of greed would most certainly never have enough of you. He tasted sweet and smelled strongly of an expensive cologne you knew he probably couldn’t actually afford. One of his hands stayed splayed on the top of your thigh, while the other worked to bring you even closer to him (if that was possible), pressing underneath your shirt to the skin on your back, two fingers edging their way into the beltline of your shorts.

He was careful not to take himself too far, to not lose control, and you could tell, so you worked your tongue past his lips. He sucked in a breath as the complete access to your mouth made room for him to deepen his greed for you. Slipping his tongue to meet yours, he nipped at your bottom lip, working his entire mouth in a blissful harmony.

He pulled back, heaving air, seeping desire from every muscle, just enough to speak to you,

“MC… I-I can’t… I can’t handle this... well... for much longer. I don’ know what I’m gonna do to ya…”, he began to pepper wet kisses down your neck, unable to keep himself off you long enough to even hear your reply.

You weren’t sure what else you were expecting, or if you were expecting anything else at all.

You were making out with a demon, after all.

You moved a hand to rake your nails through his frosty hair, and he leaned into the palm of your touch.

“It’s okay. I want you. All of you...”, it was only a whisper, but you were afraid if you spoke too loud, you’d snap the moment in half.

He did nothing but growl before reattaching his lips to yours, bringing his slender fingers to tug up at the hem of your shirt.

“I’m gonna do my best not to hurt ya…” he mumbled on your lips. You simply nodded, running your hands against his abs. He shivered at the contact, before helping you remove his own shirt.

Somewhere in the midst of him sliding on top of you, and the complete sight of the demon boy you had always longed for filling your soul, you heard the faintest of three words. You almost tricked yourself into believing they never entered the air, that they’d never left his lips.

But they were impossible to ignore.

“I love you”.

The sun will (sort of) rise.

The sun will (kind of) set.

You live in Hell, with 7 boys you dearly love,

but one holds you in the palm of his hand.

Mammon will always be there.

That night, he proved that truth to you over, and over again.

fin.

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cudan2 · 4 years ago

Text

We’re Only Human

Spring Break Shadowing Part 4

Carlisle Cullen x Reader

Word Count: 2,040

Summary: It’s the last day of shadowing with Dr. Cullen, but you’ve come to realize a little more about how you feel towards him. Cue crushes and a little bit of chaos along the way.

A/N: I finished the semester and can actually dedicate time to writing this again because instead of being on spring break, I’m now on winter break. I also chopped this part in half because it was probably going to be over 6,000 words otherwise and that’s just a lot compared to the previous ones. Bear with me, guys. Another note - I’m thinking about posting this on Ao3 but will rewrite it because I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote this in present tense lol.

Anyways, this is #8 on my headcanon list.

Masterlist

XXX

You don’t know how it happened, but time is on your side and you’re running early this morning. The sun has just risen and casts a warm glow across the hospital as you make you way to the Starbucks, determined to be the one to buy Doctor Cullen his drink for once.

Meeting him here every morning has become a tradition, a tradition that involves him getting you breakfast every day you’ve shadowed him this week. The two of you would chat about various topics while walking to where ever he had to be next. Sometimes you would prod his brain with more medical-related questions, occasionally he would tell stories from his past, but regardless, his every word had you captivated.

Alright, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to finally admit that you may or may not have developed a tiny crush on Doctor Cullen. To be fair though, this is your last day shadowing him and it’s not like you’re ever going to see him again anyways. You feel a pang of disappointment at the thought, but it soon disappears when Emily greets you at the counter.

“Hi, Y/N! Where’s the doctor today?”

“I was running early today, so I figured I’d grab both of our drinks.” You place your order and ask the barista what Doctor Cullen’s “usual” was.

“Oh that?” she laughs. “He gets boiling water. It’s a little weird, but I just assumed he makes tea with it.”

Boiling... water? You think back to the last several days and try to remember what Doctor Cullen even did with his drink. He definitely never made tea with it. In fact, you don’t think he’s ever taken a sip out of the cup before throwing it away.

“Then I’ll be adding a grande boiled water to my order,” you tell Emily and thank her before she moves on to the next person in line.

You wait to the side for your food and see Jaime standing there too. He’s wearing a backpack and a faded college sweatshirt thrown over his scrubs, and you’re reminded of how many years left of school you have before you can even call yourself a doctor. You wave to him, and he pulls an earbud out from his ear with a sleepy smile.

“Hey, what’s up?” he greets you.

“Nothing much, just grabbing something to eat before the day starts. I’m surprised to see you here though. What happened to morning rounds?”

Jaime lets out what you can only discern as a mix between a hollowed laugh and a groan and tells you about forgetting his coffee at home. “Don’t even get me started on this morning. My car died on me, so I had to get an Uber. Lo and behold, there weren’t any Ubers around either, so ya boy eventually took not just a taxi, but a taxi and the train. By the time I got here, I realized my coffee was still on the counter at home, and so now I’m here.”

Damn, and you thought mornings were rough for you.

“Sorry to hear that! Did you get in trouble for being late?”

“I called Doctor Cullen myself and told him what was happening. He was so understanding, god bless, so I’m in the clear for now.

At the mention of the doctor, your thoughts instantly go back to blond tresses and a brilliant smile you already know you’ll miss when you leave the hospital for the last time today.

“Yeah, he’s pretty great, isn’t he?” you say a little too dreamily. Jaime gives you a knowing look and you rein it back in, hoping you haven’t exposed yourself already.

“You know, I think he’s going to miss you the most when you leave.” You don’t even get the chance to react when Jaime continues on, “Don’t get me wrong, Lily and I will definitely miss having you around, but the man really took a liking to you a lot faster than he did with us.”

“What do you mean?”

“He always kept us at an arm’s length before you came around. All of that personal stuff you get out of him would have taken him weeks to tell us before, and that’s if we’re lucky. He just seems more comfortable around you,” Jaime shrugs. His coffee is then called out, cutting off anything he wanted to say next. “That’s my cue. I’ll see you later!”

You take a moment to mull over what Jaime said. From your perspective, Doctor Cullen has treated you exactly the same way he does with everyone else. You don’t dare to over think what Jaime could be saying – over thinking never leads to anything good. And yet, the damage is done. The seed has been planted and now you can’t help but wonder about what made you stand out to the doctor.

Your own order is called, and you’re pulled from your thoughts with the smell of warm food.

Now armed with two beverages and a pastry bag sandwiched between your fingers, you make your way to a nearby table to wait for Doctor Cullen. Your wait is soon cut short though, as you see him walking towards you out of your peripheral vision. The clouds shift and the sun shines through the windows again. Its golden rays pass over the doctor, and for a second, you swear you could see him shimmering in the sunlight.

You squint strangely and blink a few times. Get it together, you tell yourself. Over thinking is clearly playing some weird psychological tricks on your eyes, and you still needed to be on your A-game.

“Hey you,” he flashes that familiar smile once more when reaching the table you are settled at. “You’re early today.”

“I am. It even gave me the chance to get you your water.” You hand him the cup with a smirk, having made sure to put a sleeve on it earlier because unlike Doctor Cullen, you actually have hands that hold the risk of being burnt.

“Ah, I see Emily has divulged one of my secrets with you. Thank you, Y/N, you really didn’t have to.”

“It’s nothing,” you insist. Seriously, water is free at Starbucks. “Think of it as a small thank you present. It’s the least I could do for the amazing surgeon that let me follow him around for the week.”

“Hmm, I think you may have meant the amazing, extremely kind, highly skilled, and not to mention, quite dashing–”

“Okay! No need to flatter yourself,” you laugh, trying your best to refrain from rolling your eyes. In all honesty, you can’t describe him any better. Add in attractive, intelligent, compassionate, way too humble sometimes, and it would be the perfect recipe to recreate another Doctor Cullen.

From there on, your daily routine at the hospital continues without a hitch. It’s a morning filled with back to back surgeries and question after question thrown at you from the doctor. There is no doubt that he is keeping you on your toes – literally and figuratively. You have to admit though, you are pretty proud of yourself for being able to answer the majority of his questions.

Your feet swing aimlessly while you spin around in a padded chair in Doctor Cullen’s office. Your laptop is open on his desk, displaying a blank document that’s meant to be your personal statement. It has been a little over an hour since he left you here to attend a mandatory meeting and you are starting to get antsy.

Aside from several stacks of files and other various papers, the desk lacks the small trinkets you would expect to see. As a matter of fact, the office itself is surprisingly void of anything personal. There aren’t any pictures of family, friends, pets, not even of a possible wife. There are no decorations on the wall either, and if it weren’t for the leather briefcase leaning against the side of the desk, you’d never believe this office belonged to him. No wonder he spends as much time as possible outside of this dismal room.

As you continue spinning in the chair, you bring up a paper fortune teller made earlier from a sticky note. You choose a color, two subsequent numbers, and flip open the flap to reveal the fortune.

Brunch date with Dr. Cullen.

The things you do to kill time. Your friends would never let you live this down if they could see you now.

Just as you’re about to go another round with the fortune teller, the door opens and Doctor Cullen walks in. The fortune teller goes flying out of your hands and onto the floor next to you as you jump in surprise and halt the spinning.

“Sorry about the wait, Y/N. I’m afraid the meeting took longer than expected,” he says, his words laced with a hint of bitterness. Luckily, he didn’t seem to notice you nearly jumping out of your skin. Not wanting to draw attention to the fortune teller on the floor, you leave it there for now and start packing up your stuff.

“I presume you found a way to entertain yourself?”

“Kind of? I tried starting my personal statement again. It’s really not coming together,” you laugh dryly. Too preoccupied with turning off your laptop and putting it away, you don’t notice that Doctor Cullen walking around to the head of the desk where you are until it’s too late.

Oh crap, the fortune teller. Of course, he just has to notice it too and picks it up with a curious expression. You look up, and he’s standing there with it in his hand.

“Did you make this?”

You leap up from the chair and snatch it out of his hand before he can examine it any closer. There is no way in hell you’re letting him open it.

“Uh, yeah... It’s just something we used to make in elementary school – nothing special!” You try to play it off as cool as possible and slip the fortune teller into the small trash can underneath his desk. “So what’s next on the schedule?”

He takes a moment before answering you. You see his eyes study the way your fingers nervously fidgets with a loose thread on your shirt. He seemingly brushes off the interaction that occurred and responds, “Pre-op. I believe this one will be much different than the others you’ve observed this week.”

“What’s different about it?” you ask. Doctor Cullen starts to leave and holds the door open for you.

“You’ll see.” You don’t have to look at him to know he’s smirking.

He shuts the door and you start walking towards to the surgical department when a hand abruptly pulls you back just a little too hard. You trip over your own feet in the process and in some miraculous, but also really unlucky, sadistic, cruel-of-the-universe sort of way, land in Doctor Cullen’s arms. Goosebumps form up your arms where he’s holding you, and you can’t tell whether it’s from the temperature difference or the fact that your face is only an inch away from his chest.

You are absolutely mortified to say the least. Heat begins crawling up your cheeks and if there was a witness, they would have seen you quite literally jump out of the doctor’s arms.

“I’m so sorry, Doctor Cullen! I didn’t mean to trip and fall and–”

“No, no, please, Y/N. It was of no fault of yours. I admit, I wholly underestimated the extent of my strength in that moment.” You stare at him, still dismayed at what happened, but it seems you aren’t the only one feeling like a deer in the headlights. “Can you find it in yourself to forgive me?” he asks, smiling meekly.

“It’s fine, these things happen. We’re only human after all, right?”

“...Right.” There’s a moment of silence that goes on for longer than you prefer, and you can’t help but feel like you’re the punchline of some inside joke. You don’t dwell on it though. There’s really only so much social embarrassment you can handle in one day. “Now, if there aren’t any more near-accidents,” he points in the opposite direction and says, “we’re headed to the children’s hospital.”

Oh.

#carlisle cullen #carlisle cullen x reader #carlisle cullen imagine #twilight imagines #twilight fanfiction #twilight saga #twilight #twilight renessaince #twilight revival #twilight reboot #it's like 3:30 am #school ended but my sleep schedule still sucks #maybe it's cause I still feel the need to be productive #the next part is the one i struggled with for the last 7 months #which is why i just chopped the part in half #ugh i jsut have to get through the next part and ill be in the home stretch #the quality of my writing really declines when i have to write actual plot LMAO #doctor daddy cullen #twilight renaissance

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taehyungsgrowl · 4 years ago

Text

Duncan x Sugar Babies Angst Pt 2

Can we just appreciate this gif for a moment? I forgot how much I love Duncan Shepherd.

Thank you all for hanging in there for a year for part 2 lmfao! I hope you enjoy it!

Italics to signify time jump! I hope it makes sense lol

love you!

also...... the fact that this..... is finally out a YEAR after part 1.... what am i?? a hollywood script writer? ugh i hate myself.

also.. this is really just one version of how the met! i know we’ve talked about different scenarios of how they came together but i liked this one for the storyline :’)

tw: duncan kink shames piss kink (as he should) jjnkdvjskv, a smutty mention, but genrerally pg-13, a lot of fluff.

word count: somewhere over 4,000 words i think

Duncan huffed as he walked down the narrow aisle of the plane. How the airline mixed his first-class seat for an economy one was beyond him. But after a stressful conference and being away from his home for so long, he didn’t have the energy to fight them. All he wanted was for this flight to be over.

He glanced at his boarding pass and back up to the numbers above the seats. 18 B. A middle seat. As if this could get any worse, he thought to himself.

Duncan’s sharp blue eyes found where he would be seating; he held in a sigh as he noticed his seat mates were already in their designated seats.

Y/N peeked up at the man who stuffed his carry on in the overhead compartment. She tried not to stare as his shirt rode up his tummy exposing a bit of skin. She looked over at her best friend, Jim who was watching out the window with his headphones in.

“Excuse me,” the older man offered her an almost shy smile as he asked her to stand so he could take his damned middle seat.

“Oh! Sorry!” Y/N stood from her seat allowing Duncan to squeeze in between her and Jim.

After Duncan was seated, Y/N reached over his lap to tap Jim on the shoulder, “Sorry, sir,” she told Duncan - he lifted his hands and nodded, “You’re good.” he flashed her a quick smile.

“What time do we land again?” she asked when Jim removed his headphones. Duncan glanced between the two; curiosity took over him as he wondered whether they were a couple. They were both very attractive, roughly around the same age, and had arrived together.

“10:00 p.m” Jim shook his head at his best friend. He loved her to death - truly. No one else could convince him to fly across the country with so much uncertainty.

“I’m sorry,” Duncan interrupted, “If you two are.. Together, I can switch seats with one of you.”

“Oh no! We don’t mind, sir! Thank you.” she glanced at him once again.

Duncan tried to get comfortable before the plane took off - he had a long day and an even longer flight ahead of him.

The flight attendant started to make her way down the aisle

“What would you like to drink,” she set down napkins on each of their trays.

“I’ll take a Sprite,” Jim answered, giving her a sweet smile. “Me too,” Y/N echoed.

While she worked on getting their sodas, she turned her attention to Duncan, who was taking out his AirPods, “Anything for you, sir?”

“Scotch; neat.” he nodded, putting his earpiece back in.

Thinking back to that flight, it’s hard for Duncan to recall how one thing lead to the next.

Y/N, always the extrovert in Jim and Her’s duo, asked Duncan what brought him to Washington D.C.

He told her he worked for a company there, being careful not to divulge too much personal information (like the fact that he was the heir of the company in question).

“And you two?” Duncan glanced at Jim. Duncan wasn’t used to small talk on planes - but he had a few drinks on an empty stomach making him looser than he’d normally be.

“Uh..” Jim hesitated, giving Y/N a panicked look.

“Work!” she answered,

Duncan gave her a puzzling look, but decided to not press it.

What Duncan had expected to be a long flight, literally, flew by, with conversation with Jim and Y/N.

They were careful not to give each other any information that felt too personal, but it was easy to just listen to his interests.

Before they knew it, the flight was over and they parted ways.

Duncan lingered with them as they gathered their bags. It’d been so long since he had real conversations with people who weren’t just interested in his power or company.

Duncan watched out the window of the car that his chauffeur picked him up in as Jim and Y/N stood by the curb, fumbling with their phones for an Uber.

‘I should have offered them a ride’, he thinks as the shrink off into the distance.

Not a week had gone by since Duncan arrived back home when he already had another event lined up for the weekend. Perks of being the face of the Shepherd Foundation often times felt more like chores.

At least the Gala was just out of a D.C and he didn’t need to worry about an airline messing up his seat again.

He smiled and waved at the flashing cameras.

As the night started Duncan made his way through familiar faces and strangers. A glass of champagne secured in his hand as he made rounds.

As elegant as these events were, they were often a bore - especially when he came alone. He found himself seated alone at the bar waiting for his eyes to land on someone he found vaguely interesting enough to chat up.

His eyes scanned the room until they fell on a pair that seemed to be new comers. The woman wore a silk red gown with a low back, tracing over her figure. When Duncan turned his attention over to the man that stood by her, he realized he recognized them.

Jim fumbled with the cuffs of his shirt, trying to keep himself together before his “date” got back to him.

Duncan recognized them from his flight back a few days ago. Truly, D.C was smaller than he realized. He picked up his drink from the bar and strolled over to them, easy grin on his face.

“Hey, 18 A and 18 C, right?” he glanced them up and down a bit. He almost could have gone the whole night without realizing who they were - they cleaned up so well from the old t-shirts and sweats they were wearing on the flight to the designer clothes they wore now.

Jim felt his face go hot. Both he and Y/N had gushed over the handsome man they sat next to after that flight.

“Hope our first clients are as hot as that guy...”

“HA!” Y/N let out a humorless laugh, “If only...”

Y/N kept her cool demeanor, offering Duncan a sly smirk. “Hi stranger,”

“Duncan.” his lips. tugged up into a smile, “Duncan Shepherd.”

Y/N and Jim had assumed right to think Duncan was just the kind of guy they sought after as a client. The way he carried himself screamed wealth and power.

“And you two are...” he raised a brow, waiting for their names. He hadn’t seen them at any other gala or even so he knew they were new comers. Maybe heirs to some fortune 500 company. His eyes wandered around the room wondering who their parents were. Duncan had the reputation of getting “inside information” on some of his competitors by pulling his charms on their trust fund babies.

“Working,”

Duncan chuckled, raising his champagne flute, “Work hard, play hard, right?” his gaze flickered between her eyes and her lips.

“Duncan,” his attention was called by a big name politician that had appeared at Y/N’s side. “It’s been too long,” he extended his hand out for a shake. “Tell me, how is the development of your app coming? We really could use someone like you before reelection,” he laughed.

Duncan didn’t fail to notice his hand on Y/N’s waist (or the tight lipped smile she had as soon as the man appeared).

“You’ll be the first to know when it’s ready,” Duncan answered, tearing his eyes away from his hand.

“James,” another man approached them. Duncan had seen him before at other events. The man looped his arm in Jim’s before handing him a drink. He leaned in and whispered something in Jim’s ear, making him blush.

Duncan lingered between them, easily making conversation until both men made their rounds for more drinks, leaving him with Y/N and Jim again.

If he knew anything, he knew the game the powerful in D.C played. And he knew well enough to know what kind of work Jim and Y/N were doing.

“Working,” he gave them a knowing smile. He raised his flute to them before taking a long sip, drowning back his champagne.

He watched the color flood to Jim’s cheeks again and it only made him chuckle. It wasn’t past Duncan to hire an escort. Dating as an up and coming business mogul doesn’t always allow him the time for dating or anything other than business. Sometimes, he just needed to secure his own private deals. Much less of a hassle than having to deal with the entanglements of relationships.

Duncan wasn’t a callous man. He planned on settling down at some point. He was an older bachelor. Well seasoned - he didn’t mean to sound cocky but it wasn’t that he didn't have the opportunity. He didn’t want that - not yet at least.

“Walk with me,” he nodded his head towards the hallway.

Y/N looked over at Jim, both exchanging in a silent conversation before following alongside Duncan. They turned the corner into a quiet hallway away from the gala.

“You both clean up nice,” he smirked, “Although, I personally loved your airport wardrobe,” he winked.

Y/N mirrored his smirk, reaching forward to adjust his pristine tie, “Are you wanting to talk business Mr. Shepherd? If not... our clients are waiting.”

Duncan chuckled. “I’d like to propose something more... exclusive.” He searched their eyes, smile tugging on his lips. He remembered enough about his flight with them to know he liked them. And now, seeing them look so... sexy. “Let me take care of you.”

Jim shifted back and forth on his feet. He was sure the offered only stood for Y/N. He looked down at the floor, chewing on his bottom lip.

“Both of you,” Duncan met Jim’s eyes.

“You two made for great... companions on the plane. If you’re willing to,” he coughed awkwardly into his fist for a pause, “extend your uh... companionship -- I can be very generous.”

“Like a sugar daddy!?” Jim finally spoke up, his voice dripping in a mixture of surprise and interest.

Duncan shrugged easily, his thumb running over his bottom lip. “That’s one way to put it,” he bit his lip. He reached into his card holder and handed them a beautifully embossed business card.

“Give me a call if you need to think about it. Unless you’d rather go up to my room to... discuss it further,” he chuckled.

Y/N and Jim remember ditching their dates to follow Duncan to his suite. Hushed whispers between them as they got the courage to take up Duncan’s offer.

None of them knew the love that was about to blossom for them that night. They sat out on the balcony of his suite, letting the cool breeze hit their skin. Always the gentleman, Duncan didn’t initiate any advances that night. He bought them room services and gave them a safe space away from the former clients.

They curled up in the California king bed just talking like they had on their flight.

“Uh so... what exactly do you like,” Y/N asked. She fidgeted with the gems on her dress. It was beautiful - beyond what she could ever afford, but it was starting to become uncomfortable.

“Cashmere and fine wine,” Duncan laughed, making Y/N roll her eyes. He caught her struggle with getting comfortable. He got off the bed and found his small suitcase they’d brought up for him, digging for his pajamas. He placed a few comfy items on the bed, “If you two.. wanna get more comfortable,” he smiled sheepishly.

Y/N sat up on her knees sorting through the clothes and tossing a tshirt at Jim. “Seriously like... we have to know what you... enjoy, daddy..” she pouted, playfully testing the waters.

It was his turn to roll his eyes, but there was no hiding the fact that he did like the sound of that. “I don’t have a piss kink or anything like that,” he scrunched his nose, “But,” he got closer, tilting her chin up, “I’d like to hear you that again for me some time.”

Y/N and Jim floated back down from cloud 9 a few days later when they were back in their not to luxurious apartment.

After that first night, they spent the next two days at Duncan’s penthouse slowly going over what the arrangement would entail (although, if they were being honest most of the time was spent between Duncan’s bed and sharing sharing pastries with Duncan on his balcony).

Duncan pulled up up to their run down complex. He’d been having so much fun during the past few days, he didn’t want it to come to an end yet.

Duncan didn’t say what he wanted to say, but he felt a strong distaste for where they were living.

They’d just moved to the city and started working when they met Duncan - they were still hoping to make enough money to find a nice place. This was just a temporary stay.

It wasn’t long before Duncan gave them an extra key to his place...

“I figured if where you’re staying is just temporary... you’d rather stay here..”

Duncan knew he could easily get them their own loft or apartment, but he was enjoying them being there more than he realized he would.

He knew starting this arrangement would be fun. He knew he liked them. He just hadn’t realized how lonely he’d been before.

He looked up at the ceiling as Y/N and Jim slept on either side of him... reminding himself that for them... it was just a job. A way to get their things paid for. But then again... it was he wanted, right?

Another realization that came far later for Duncan Shepherd was that to Jim and Y/N... it had also become much more than a job.

For Jim, he remembers the moment he knew he was falling for not only Duncan, but his friend of many years, was on one of the first trips Duncan ever took them too. Jim had always wanted to be near the ocean. He had such bittersweet memories connected to it. But for him now, the sweetest one comes from laughing in the sand after convincing Duncan to try and surf. Y/N was rubbing sunscreen on their backs soon turning into a pile of kisses on to one another with the sunsetting softly over the horizon.

From the beginning, it never felt “mechanical” or “strictly business” with Duncan. Not like their first few clients. It’d always been easy with Duncan. Maybe it was the initial crush Jim had developed on the plane that made the difference. Either way he knew he loved Duncan.

Y/N would be lying if she said she didn’t have feelings for Jim before the whole affair started. She often brushed it off as just a friend crush -- but after being with him and Duncan things began to develop quickly. She loved them both so much in their own way. They each filled different parts of her heart to make her feel whole.

The moment she knew -- the moment she took them to uncharted territory by being the first to say “I love you,” was after she’d spent the day in bed crying. Feeling so vulnerable after a hard day. She felt herself isolating herself from Jim... from Duncan.

She remembers them silently coming into the room to hold her. Duncan let her cry on his chest while Jim played with her hair. In that moment of safety, she whispered, “I love you,” and there was no question as to who it was directed to -- because they knew she loved them both.

“You want to what?” Duncan spoke, his composure faltering. “I don’t - I’m sorry.” he felt loss for words. He hadn’t noticed that his hands started to shake until Jim reached forward to take his hand in his own.

“Shh,” Jim cooed. Duncan wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t used to being the one who needed to be babied. He wasn’t the one who needed his hand held, for Christ’s sake.

“Hear us out.” Jim led Duncan down on the chair.

“Duncan.” Y/N’s voice was clear and steady. “We don’t want to be your sugar babies anymore. We don’t want this to be…” she searched for her words, “an exchange.”

Jim rubbed her back reassuringly. “You mean so much more to us than the nice things you buy us. We want you, Duncan. We want to end the arrangement because we want to be with you. Like, as a real relationship.” she peeked up at him from her lashes, “If you’ll have us,” she nodded her up towards Jim, who was all but vibrating next to her.

Duncan blinked back tears. The knot in his throat made it hard for him to say anything. All he could do was nod - nod and let the tears fall freely from his eyes.

Y/N reached up to his face, wiping it clean. “Is that a yes?” her lips tugged into a smile.

Duncan cleared his throat and took both of their hands in his, “Of course. Yes. A million times yes.”

The way they made him feel so loved - after years of feeling like he wasn’t capable of it, and here he was -- madly in love with two beautiful souls. They wanted - they loved him for him!! He knew it in his heart before that morning but hearing it sent his heart into overdrive.

He called into the office that morning to be able to spend the day with the people he loved the most. The idiots back at the Shepherd Foundation could figure it out on their own.

After that restless night, they all needed all the R & R they could get.

After a few mimosas and waffles, Y/N and Jim dragged Duncan out to their hot tub on their back patio. Duncan had that hot tub long before he met Jim and Y/N, but didn’t start to truly enjoy it until they moved in with him.

Duncan sighed as he slipped into the hot water, the jet pressure working against his calves. “Well,” he smiled up at them, “Are you not going to join me?”

Y/N smirked at him right before grabbing the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head. She exposed herself completely stripping down to nothing before she slowly made it down the steps into the water, “Mhmm,” she sighed as she took a seat next to Duncan.

Duncan chuckled softly, shaking his head, “Baby?” he called over to Jim, his hand, already wandering up Y/N’s thigh.

Jim followed Y/N example and stripped off his clothing before climbing into the tub, on the other side of Duncan. “You’re overdressed,” Jim mumbled into Duncan’s neck, snaking his hand into the waistband of the little black trunks...

Duncan told himself he wouldn’t cry. After everything they’ve been through - it had led to this...

His toes dug into the white sand as he looked out into the sea. He couldn’t have chosen a better place - his their beach house was their haven. Their little slice of paradise. It was only natural for them do it there.

Every thing was picture perfect. The sky was a beautiful array of purples and pinks, reflecting on the clear water. To his left, a gorgeous set up of candles, blankets, twinkle lights, and a picnic of his babies’ favorite treats.

Jim and Y/N knew that Duncan had been planning something for weeks now. When he booked a getaway to their beach house, he didn’t allow them to lift a finger packing. Told them he’d take care of it all. And he did.

He had their outfits laid out on their bed for them. For Jim, he had a thin pair of linen pants in a light sandy colored with a baby blue shirt of the same material. Y/N’s wasn’t too different. He had a white dress of the same fabric. It was soft and flowy - perfect for the beach.

They made their way down to the beach where Duncan waited for them. He turned to face them, his hands behind his back, biting down on his lip to try and keep it together,

He knew they were his life and he was spending forever with them.

“Duncan,” Y/N breathed out, her eyes going over the set up. She reached for his hand, “This is beautiful,”

Duncan squeezed her hand, and took Jim’s in the other one.

“I have something for you,” he dropped their hands and dug a little velvet bag out of his pocket. “I know there isn’t anything... traditional,” he laughed, “about our relationship, but” he pulled the string of the baggie and dumped the contents of it into his palm. He played with the cool metal, shifting them around his hand.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way and,” he paused to look into their eyes, “I’d want to spend the rest of my days with you,”

He took his time, placing a finger on Jim’s finger and then YN’s. “Since we can’t really do a courthouse wedding,” he laughed, taking both of their hand again - this time adorned with the precious jewels he gifted them, “I figured, we could do something more our style,” he gestured towards the romantic scenery he’d set.

“Will you take me to be yours forever?”

Without an ounce of hesitation, Jim and Y/N replied their “I do”’s over each other. When Jim noticed the tears pooling in Y/N’s eyes, he reached over to wipe her cheek.

Duncan couldn’t smile any more if he tried. Jim loved the way the corner of his eyes crinkled when he smiled that big. Duncan’s hair blew softly in the gentle breeze. His peppered hair matched his graying beard, but like the fine wines he adored, he aged well.

He pulled them closer, caressing their cheeks before kissing them.

He loved them. Duncan Shepherd had found love.

Y/N and Jim embraced him with everything they had. They never wanted to let each other go - but when they finally did, Duncan popped the champagne, loving the way Y/N giggled when the bubbles poured out of the bottle.

By the time they downed the champagne and cake on the beach, the buttons of Duncan’s shirt where messily unbuttoned. He had sand in his hair and lipstick marks on his neck.

The sun was close to being gone, but the candles and fairy lights were enough for them. The were covered in the soft glow of the moon.

Duncan’s heart felt so warm as he watched Y/N feed Jim another bite of cake. Jim’s laughter like music to his ears. Jim caught his eye and crawled over to Duncan. He swung his legs over Duncan’s thighs and sat on him. Jim took his face in his hands and kissed him tenderly.

Jim found his place.

He found a home with Duncan and Y/N - a home with nothing but love to offer and he was ready for it.

They each had their space in each others hearts and it melted perfectly into who they were.

Who would think that a day would come when Duncan Shepherd would be thanking his lucky stars for an economy flight seat?

Tags: @desertsunflower00 @xavierplympton @quillanpie @spoo-per @langdons-pinkyring @little-grunge-flowerz @sexwon131 @leatherduncan @royalblueviper @shenevertricks1831 @sadhoecentral @chloelucia13 @shyvirgoanon @langdonswhoreprobably @littledemondani @bitchchatter @rpwithjayn @chloelucia13 @agonydearest @midnightontheearth @7-wonders @prophecy-is-inevitable @wroteclassicaly @ritualmichael @wickedlangdon @fckinsupreme @michael-langdon-appreciation @jimmason @brattylovee @dark-mei-rose @lovelylangdonx @blakewaterxx @dyns33

sorry if i missed someone!

and please LMK what you think 🥺

#duncan shepherd #duncan shepherd x reader #duncan shepherd x sugar babies #jim mason #jim mason x reader #cody fern

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your-local-vamp · 3 years ago

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I disappeared off of the face of the earth for a while, but I’m back ya’ll!! I need to get used to the whole writing and then posting it thing haha. Anyway! I’ve had this idea for a really long time, but was very much procrastinating on writing it. Whoops. But here it is! It’s honestly mostly focused on the whole conflict within the vampire’s mind. I like to show different sides of them. My last one was straight up a stalker, but this one is a liiiiiiitle different, you’ll see :)! I need to shut up before I spoil the entire thing out of excitement lol. Oh and also! I finally took it upon myself to research how I can write better, make it easier to read and stuff. So if there are some errors or if anyone has advice for me, please do leave a comment! Also also, I have a habit to listen to badass vibe songs while writing/reading, so if you’re interested in some recommendations, hit me up! Okay that’s really it. Have fun reading!

Again, this story contains some explicit themes (blood, character death, overall just being angsty af) so make sure to check the tags before reading!

—————

Running From Death

I once again find myself drinking in the bar located a few blocks from my apartment. That intoxicated feeling I get after a few glasses is amazing to me. It’s pleasant to feel good for a change.

Being here also allows me to converse with the humans. Which is… Interesting to say the least. Their different personalities, lifestyles, stories. I happen to eavesdrop into conversations from time to time, which results in me hearing the most outrageous stories sometimes. May they be true or not, they interest me.

I try not to attract too much attention to myself, but I fail in doing so most of the time. Blame it on my charismatic vampire looks, I guess. Humans often strike conversations with me, but I’m not one to complain. I like talking to them when I get the opportunity.

The bell attached to the front door rings. A woman enters the bar. “Oh god, it’s her again,” someone in one of the booths behind me sighs. Hmm, must be a regular. I come here embarrassingly often, enough to call myself a regular as well, but I haven’t seen her before. She’s very handsome looking.

My hand covered with a leather glove tightens around the whiskey glass.

“Control yourself, please. You’ve practiced this many times before.”

It repeats in my head over and over again. Unfortunate things usually happen when I’m drunk. It saddens me, because I wish to not hurt anyone. I was a human once too. And I want to remember the memories from back then. Try to do ‘human’ things. But it’s hard, especially with-

“Hey, how are ya doing?” A voice interrupts my intrusive thoughts.

I look up and see the handsome woman sitting on a stool next to me. Her voice is lively and confident. But it’s probably just the liquor talking.

“Just thinking.”

“Abouuuuut?”

Oh god. She’s totally wasted. I now notice that she can barely even sit up straight without falling over. I can’t help but smile at her actions though, it’s almost endearing in a way.

“Just contemplating life, really.”

“I came here to do the exact same thing!” the woman says.

“How so?” I ask, now completely interested in her story.

“Ugh, where do I even start? My shitty boss fired me today. And you know what the most fucked up part about it all is? The fact that I’ve been working there for years! I did so much for his company, but he decides to just fire me, because ‘he’s gotta cut some people down’. So, I came here to drink my sorrows away. Well, I may have already visited two other bars, so I’m kinda far gone already haha.” The woman keeps on rambling, without actually making eye contact with whom she’s talking to. But I happen to listen to every single word.

“Why did he have to cut people off?” I question the woman.

“Pfshh, I don’t even know. Not enough money, I guess. He could’ve fired literally anyone else, but-“ she interrupts her own sentence, while her eyes make contact with the bartender, “-Hey! Can I have uhhhh. Whatever he has?” she finishes, while she absentmindedly points at my own drink.

She seems to have forgotten what she was talking about before, she’s just staring at the bartender until her drink is ready.

“And what’s your excuse for being here?” she asks, while taking a sip of her whiskey.

“Just taking a break from drinking blood and killing people.”

Well, that’s what I should’ve said if I really wanted to be honest. But being honest isn’t my reality. Lying has become my forte over the many years I have been a vampire. I don’t exist in the eyes of humans. And it should stay that way.

“Just taking a break from life.”

Yeah, that should do it.

“I come over here to share my entire life story, and all you’ve got for me is that? Damn.”

Or not.

“My life is really not that interesting,” I quickly add, trying not to blow my cover.

She takes an observing look at me. I have never felt so uncomfortable in my entire existence. She gives me the feeling like she can look right through my lies. “Hahaha, I’m just messin’ with ya. I don’t like to pry into people’s lives like that anyway,” the woman smiles.

Phew, I barely got away with that one. I return a signature smile to her. The one that makes everyone all the more invested in me, it seems.

*a few hours later*

The handsome stranger and I have been talking for hours. I lost track of time a while ago. Talking, or rather listening to her, reminds me of my human days. I used to help my elder neighbors with chores around the house, but ended up listening to them for hours and hours. I knew that when I had finished the chores, there would be a nice hot cup of tea and cookies waiting for me. The elder couple loved to share their stories with me. I know now that most of them were of pure fantasy, but at that time they were something I would so eagerly wait for to hear.

This woman gives me that feeling of nostalgia. The excitement of finally hearing the story I have longed for. It’s odd, since I have only met her a few hours ago. But somehow I feel like I’ve known her for a really long time.

“Nghn, my head hurts…” She snaps me out of my thoughts. “Woah there, don’t fall off that stool now,” I say, while carefully taking a step towards her. “C-Can you take me home?”

I look at her with disbelief.

Did she really just ask me to walk her home?

“U-Uh, I can call a cab for you? Or ask one of your friends to come pick you up maybe? I’m sure that-“

“Please.”

She looks at me with eager eyes. Her intention is really for me to take her home. If only she knew what I really am. I sigh. “Let me go to the toilet first, then I’ll walk you home.” I finally surrender to the human.

The entire way to the toilet I ask myself what I’m getting myself into. I shouldn’t be doing this, I know that all too well. But I can’t just keep hiding my true feelings all the time. I want to live amongst humans. I know that we can coexist. As long as I control myself, everything will be fine.

I sigh, take my gloves off and use the toilet. My head is suddenly throbbing like hell. I can feel that my body is trying to fight the urge to kill every single soul in this bar. Everything spins.

Shit.

“Hey, you ready or not? I feel like puking!” I hear the woman urgently knocking on the door. “Y-Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec!” I shout back.

I quickly finish and go back to the bar. “Let’s go,” we hurriedly exit the bar. She does so, because she needs to get home asap. And I do so, because of obvious reasons.

I can feel that I’m starting to lose control. It was a mistake drinking this much. I’m usually okay with drinking a few glasses, but this woman has a certain effect on me. And it’s not a positive one. Not while I’m drunk, at least.

The woman is currently walking behind me, laughing at her own jokes. All I want right now is to drop her off as fast as I can.

“Ah, shit!” I hear a loud thud.

I look back and see that she is now sitting on the cold concrete.

“What happened?” I ask, clearly concerned.

The woman shakes her head. “I’m so clumsy, I literally just stumbled over my own feet haha.”

God, we’re never going to get anywhere like this. “Oh nooo! My new pants! Ugh, this stuff always happens to me.”

I take a quick look at her leg and notice that the fabric is ripped open. She took a great fall apparently, otherwise that wouldn’t have happened.

“Damn, I’m bleeding too.”

That’s all she had to say to make my eyes turn red and making my fangs expose themselves. I quickly turn around, hoping that she didn’t notice my weird behavior already.

“Are you okay…?” she asks, proving my thoughts wrong. I disregard her question and return it with my own.

“Is it bad?”

I don’t know why I’m asking her that. No matter of how bad it is, the mere smell of her blood is driving me insane. All I can think about is that right at this moment.

“Uhm, no I think that I’m okay.” I can hear that she’s getting up and has started to walk towards me.

“Please, don’t come any closer.” I say this with a serious tone, hoping that she’d cease to move instantly.

“What’s wrong? It’s not even that bad.”

Fuck fuck fuck.

I can’t hold the urge back anymore. I never want to hurt humans, but I also can’t forget of who I have become. I’m a vampire. To stay alive, I need blood. Alcohol has terrible effects on me.

It’s like drinking water with salt in it. You’re drinking, but it worsens your thirst because of the salt. Alcohol only enhances my thirst for blood. I’m learning the consequences of that now.

The woman has come even closer to me. I turn around, only to see a reached out hand with blood on it. I try to fight the dark side of me with everything I have. That side of me gives in, eventually. I resist the urge and grab her wrist, only to warn her to stop.

However, this action suffers a great consequence. The woman looks at me. The white of her eyes turn dark red.

Wait… I look at my hand, having a firm hold on her wrist.

“My gloves!” is all I can utter at this moment.

I have forgotten my gloves in the toilet area. How can I be so stupid… I’m unable to touch any living being with my bare hands. If I do so, it dies. Everything I touch turns into dust. It’s a curse I have carried with me ever since I turned. It has barely posed as a problem the last few years. But I… I touched her without gloves on.

“W-Wait. No. I’m sorry, please!” I beg for my actions to reverse themselves. But what happened cannot be undone.

The woman’s eyebrows furrow and her eyes look back into mine, filled with betrayal. “H-How cou-ld y-ou,” she chokes on her own blood. She is in immense pain, I can tell. I let go of her hand, terrible guilt now washing over me.

She takes a look at her shaking hand, which gets covered with popping veins inch by inch. The sounds coming from her are agonizing. She stumbles backwards, now nearing her end. Tears roll down my cheek, as I carry her.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know my gloves were…” I’m unable to finish my sentence, as my non beating heart breaks seeing her mouth all covered in blood clots.

It’s ironic, really. I was barely able to resist the smell of her blood before, but now even though I’m covered with it, I don’t seem to mind.

Her body shivers uncontrollably, until it stops moving at all. I hold her limp body, watching my tears fall on her veiny cheek.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I keep repeating it, somewhere having a wishful thought that I could go back before all of this happened.

But her body stays unmoving. I scream and I scream, all of my human feelings washing over me now. This shouldn’t have happened. My ignorance allowed this to take place. And I will never forgive myself for it.

I hear sounds of a crowd nearing by. In total panic, I let go of her body and hide in a nearby alleyway. I crouch and hold my hands over my own ears, trying to ignore the screams that are coming from the spot where I just killed a human. The tears are now streaming down, my thoughts racing. What have I done? I should’ve never went to that bar in the first place.

Fuck, I need to get out of here before they find me. I try to leave the guilt there and run from myself as fast as I can. I am a monster. And no matter how hard I cling on to the little humanity I’ve got left, I will always remain one.

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tinybibmpreg · 3 years ago

Text

a oneshot as a birthday gift for myself lol. was going to be more adult themed but then i got sidetracked by angst & lore and then a happy fluffy family resolution. so. lmao.

my temperamental prince character Gaelwin and his elf knight (future) husband, Tasnear, working out some misunderstandings and family secrets about their daughter. past/post mpreg

Blykren: Getting to Know You

Gaelwin smirked down at him, mismatched eyes blazing with some emotion Tasnear wasn’t sure he wanted to know the identity of. Gaelwin shoved him onto his bed and climbed on top of him, like a predator holding down its prey- ready to kill. Tasnear resisted the urge to throw off Gaelwin, to fight against him and escape. It wouldn’t do to hurt a prince of East Atalan. He was already in such low standing with the King, Gaelwin’s grandfather. He quite liked being allowed back in the palace, being with he and Gaelwin’s daughter. It wouldn’t do to get himself exiled again.

He’d just have to hope that Gaelwin was just being mischievous, trying to scare him, one last thrill before he went off to sleep. The prince’s siblings were quite vocal at times that that was what their brother did- terrify people. For fun or out of cruelty. He’d scare them into obedience, go into wild rages and smash everything around him, destroy their things, hurt himself in the process. But he’d never lay a hand on them unless he was grabbing them and carrying them off to what he believed was safety.

Tasnear wasn’t sure if that applied to him, seeing as he wasn’t one of Gaelwin’s siblings. He wasn’t even sure Gaelwin actually believed he really was Orwina’s mother.

Which certainly wasn’t good. Gaelwin could be downright violent towards people who he didn’t see as family, especially with his new powers. He could rip people to shreds with a wave of his hand if he wished, and he’d done so before. Having spires of ice erupt from the ground to skewer an assassin through, using wind to send projectiles of dirt and rocks to go through a man who had swore at him. Everard had told him how Gaelwin, before getting his powers, would throw and stomp on people who offended him. He always had a reason for reacting so badly, Averil insisted, even if the reason didn’t seem strong enough, or obvious enough. It wasn’t violence for violence’s sake, even if it really seemed to be.

He wasn’t sure what he had done to offend Gaelwin. Perhaps Gaelwin was finally convinced he was lying about being the one to give birth to their daughter. Perhaps he’d gotten sick of him befriending his siblings. Tasnear couldn’t think of anything he could have said to upset Gaelwin. He was always kind to his siblings, and never said a bad word about him to the children nor to anyone else. Orwina loved her father, and though Tasnear feared the man and the danger he posed to everyone around him, he would never try to change his daughter’s mind.

So Tasnear didn’t dare speak now. He just stared up at Gaelwin, bracing himself for whatever the prince might do to him. But the man did nothing- he just kept him pinned, that devilish smirk on his face.

Minutes passed and Tasnear found himself growing bored. With a different person, he might have thought that they were waiting for him to let his guard down, but Gaelwin didn’t seem the type to try that tactic. He just seemed to be thinking, rather, barely breathing or blinking, eyes losing their intensity and glossing over as time dragged on and on. Tasnear debated internally on whether or not to snap Gaelwin out of his thoughts. He opened his mouth to speak, then hesitated. Before he could make up his mind on whether or not to say anything, Gaelwin blinked rapidly and shook his head. With a huff, he pushed himself up, now only kneeling with his legs on either side of Tasnear.

“Huh. Got lost in my head for a while there.” Gaelwin rubbed his eyes, blinked a few more times, and looked down at Tasnear. Confusion flickered across his features, only to be replaced by a grin. “Hello, Sir Tasnear.”

He didn’t bother correcting Gaelwin that he wasn’t a knight anymore. “Is there something you need of me, Prince Gaelwin?”

“No, not really, Tas.”

Tasnear chewed his lip for a moment, not expecting the diminutive from Gaelwin, then asked, “Ah… Has Orwina has begun calling me that to you?”

Gaelwin placed a hand on Tasnear’s chest, fiddling with a clasp on his tunic. He nodded, then undid the clasp. He continued down the elf’s tunic, undoing all the clasps until he could expose his undershirt. Tasnear didn’t know what to think of being undressed. Was Gaelwin merely curious about his clothing? Had he just wanted to do something with his hands, like a nervous habit of picking at buttons? Gaelwin’s siblings had assured him Gaelwin had no interest in anything but keeping them safe or indulging basic curiosity and harmless impulses. Tasnear didn’t fear being taken advantage of by the prince.

“Tell me, Tas,” Gaelwin started in his questioning tone that demanded an answer no matter when or where or to whom he asked. Pale, bruised fingers drew down Tasnear’s front to stop on his belly. “Are elves as humans? Is a mother’s body marked forever by its pregnancy?”

Not at all what Tasnear expected to be asked, though if he was honest with himself, he’d had no clue what the prince was going to ask. At least it was something he could answer easily. “Yes, typically. If an Elvin mother shows during their pregnancy, they will have marks, just as a human would.”

“Tas.” The way Gaelwin said his nickname was… odd. Tasnear felt embarrassed, and he wasn’t sure why. He was fine with the nickname, had grown up being called that by family and friends and people who were familiar with him. But the way the prince said his nickname, as if in knowing it he’d indulged some great curiosity, made his ears twitch. Gaelwin’s eyes flicked to the movement and he moved a hand to Tasnear’s left ear, pinching the point of it between two of his fingers.

He swallowed at the prickles of sensitivity. His other ear twitched involuntarily, though Tasnear tried to suppress it.

Gaelwin tilted his head, his messy blond hair falling into his eyes. He finished unbuttoning Tasnear’s tunic and pulled it open, then shoved up his undershirt. Tasnear bit his lower lip, his face growing hot.

A cold hand spread out over his belly. Tasnear glanced down and saw as Gaelwin traced his thumb over the stretch marks on his abdomen. Though they’d somewhat faded over the past few years, they were plainly visible. Grinning, the prince suddenly was over him again, a wicked look in his eyes.

“Prince Gaelwin? Mmph!” Tasnear jolted as Gaelwin surged down and kissed him, their teeth slamming together painfully. His hands went up to push Gaelwin off reflexively, but he managed to stop himself and instead held onto the front of Gaelwin’s tunic, closing his eyes.

The kiss was more of a bite than a kiss, far too forceful. Tasnear wasn’t sure what to think of it at first. Surely, Gaelwin wasn’t attracted to him. His siblings made it obvious that Gaelwin would never view anyone as desirable, and Tasnear had figured that for himself through watching how Gaelwin treated people. Gaelwin only viewed people as threats or as things beneath him. He didn’t make friends, much less take lovers.

Still, the kiss was thrilling in a way. During moments in his pregnancy, he’d imagined what it would be like for the father of his child to be there with him. He’d wake up to fleeting dreams of a charming prince holding him and touching his belly, claiming him. Tasnear hadn’t tried to entertain ideas of what it’d be like if the 15th princess’ son had taken him as a lover instead of just requesting a child of his own when his mother asked him what would make him happy, but he’d been emotional and overwhelmed and couldn’t help himself.

It wasn’t the gentle embrace he’d dreamed of, but it certainly felt like he was being claimed. Being pressed into his bed, Gaelwin biting him as if he were trying to devour him…

Definitely not what he’d imagined while he was pregnant, but still something he, surprisingly, would have and did enjoy.

Tasnear’s hands moved from clinging to Gaelwin’s tunic to wrapping around him, one hand going to holding the back of his head. Gaelwin dipped his head down to bite his neck and Tasnear’s fingers tightened in his hair, which only made him bite harder until it drew a whimper from Tasnear as he felt the prince’s teeth slice through his skin and draw blood. Gaelwin hummed and lapped at the blood. When he pulled up, leaving Tasnear catching his breath beneath him, his teeth were stained red. He ran his tongue over them.

“G-Gaelwin…”

“Hm. I believe you.”

Tasnear furrowed his brow in confusion. “What?”

“I said I believe you, Tas,” Gaelwin repeated, shrugging. “I didn’t before. But now I do.”

“Ah… about…?”

“About what you said. About Orwina.” Gaelwin rolled his eyes as if Tasnear was being ridiculous. “My mother never told me where she came from, just that by using magic, she was mine. So I guess your whole story about a knight telling your family your exile would be lifted if one of you did a favor for the son of a fifteenth princess wasn’t made up, and you really did carry and give birth to my daughter for me.”

“Oh. I’m- I’m glad.”

“Sorry my mother lied to you. She did that sometimes to make things easier for me.”

“It’s… alright. I’m very fond of Orwina. I’m glad I’m her mother.”

Gaelwin climbed off of him and sat on the edge of the bed. He looked over his shoulder at Tasnear, an impatient look on his face. Tasnear scrambled up and perched next to him, pulling down his shirt and starting to button up his tunic.

Before he could get too far, Gaelwin made an unhappy sound and reached to yank his shirt back up. “Hey, I still want to look at you. Do the marks go on your sides? Is there anything else?”

He felt his ears go hot and start twitching again, which he didn’t bother trying to suppress. He was too flustered. Gaelwin raised a hand to one and pinched it again.

“Why are your ears moving so much?”

“They do that when I’m…”

“When what, Tas? When you’re aroused or embarrassed?” Gaelwin asked, twisting Tasnear’s ear curiously. Tasnear’s whole face felt hot hearing Gaelwin ask if he was aroused. Not something he’d ever expected from the prince. Seeing his face go red, Gaelwin tugged on his ear and huffed, asking, “Are you going to answer anything?”

“S-sorry. I’m just… just flustered. I’m not used to- to any of this.”

“Neither am I. So your ears twitch when you’re flustered?”

Tasnear nodded slightly. “Yes. Elves’ ears can also twitch when they’re angry or upset or- or aroused. Any strong or sudden emotion, really. Joy or surprise, as well… As adults, we try to suppress the twitching. If we hear something in the distance, sometimes, as well.”

“And my other questions?”

“It would be easier to… to show you, I suppose.” At that, Gaelwin raised an eyebrow and sat back, waiting. Tasnear couldn’t believe he’d offered that, but pulled off his tunic and shirt, setting them aside. He looked down, refusing to meet Gaelwin’s eyes.

Gaelwin put both hands on his abdomen, leaning in close. “Wow. You’ve got a lot of stretch marks.”

“They were quite red, during the pregnancy… I used salves to try and help, but it didn’t do much…”

“Did they hurt?” Gaelwin picked at a larger one with his nail.

“They itched. The salves helped with that, at least.”

He brought his hands up to Tasnear’s chest and traced the lines on the underside of his breasts. “Oh. You’ve got some here as well.”

“Mm, yes. My chest developed a bit during the pregnancy as well…” His chest was still somewhat soft. “I used to be quite flat-chested.”

Gaelwin tilted his head. “Hm. A bit redundant, since you didn’t get to keep Orwina very long after she was born.”

“Excuse me?” Did Gaelwin think he’d gotten to be a mother to Orwina when she was a baby? That couldn’t have been right.

But Gaelwin ignored him. “I know my mother lied to you about the reward you’d get, but it’s still quite surprising to me that anyone would agree to have a baby knowing that it would eventually go to a different realm entirely. For all you knew, you’d never get to see her again.”

“But I never got to see her.”

Gaelwin sat up, confused. He stared at Tasnear, searching his face. Finally, he asked, “What do you mean? Didn’t you give her to someone acting on behalf of my mother after she was born?”

“You… you couldn’t tell how old she was when you first got her?”

“I wasn’t allowed to see her for three months after my mother received her.”

That was mind-boggling to Tasnear. Aghast, he asked, “Your mother didn’t let you see your own daughter until she was three months old?”

Gaelwin shrugged. “She never let me near my siblings when they were babies. She didn’t trust me.” Tasnear couldn’t help but give Gaelwin a horrified expression. Gaelwin waved it off and explained, “I don’t blame her. My mother loved me, she really did, but I was dangerous. Once my siblings were weaned my mother would help me hold them, and once Orwina could walk I was allowed to hold and play with her with my mother or father watching.”

“You didn’t get to hold your own daughter until she was old enough to walk? Prince Gaelwin…”

“Is that… bad? I didn’t really like that Everard and Averil and Eberlein got to spend more time with her before I was allowed to, but once she was old enough I would always hold her and carry her around. She really loved riding on my shoulders when she was a toddler. I should ask her tomorrow if she still likes that, in case she’s just been too busy to remember to ask.”

Something about the story didn’t seem right. “Why couldn’t you spend time with Orwina for so long?”

“Oh, because there was… an accident, with Averil. I was left alone with my siblings for a while, and my guardian took Eberlein away to change him or feed him. Everard and Averil were only about three… We were playing a chasing and hiding game in the library, and then I fell into a bookcase. Everard will swear now that I did on purpose, but I didn’t, and it landed on Averil’s leg.”

Gaelwin’s sister was missing half of one of her legs and walked with a crutch and prosthetic. Tasnear had a bad feeling about where the story was going.

Continuing, Gaelwin told him, “My father’s library was very old, and that bookcase was very tall, top-heavy, and crumbling at the bottom, and I fell very hard against it. I couldn’t get it off of Averil and she wouldn’t stop screaming and there was all sorts of blood, and my guardian wasn’t much help when we tried to lift it off of her. So I grabbed one of my father’s swords and cut off her leg to free her. It was mostly severed anyway. The doctors said it would have been removed eventually. But… my mother believed Everard.”

“So you weren’t allowed to spend time with Orwina until she was older.”

“As I said, my mother didn’t trust me.”

Then why did she trick me into bearing you a child to make you happy if she thought you were so dangerous? She could have lied and said it was impossible and you would have shrugged it off and thought of something else to wish for. It makes no sense, Tasnear thought but didn’t dare voice. Gaelwin seemed to be agitated by the story, even if he spoke of his mother’s distrust casually. Gaelwin and his siblings’ conflicting stories about their parents bothered Tasnear.

At least now he understood why Gaelwin was so misinformed about the real age Orwina had gone to live in the other realm with her father and grandmother.

He almost didn’t want to bring it up anymore.

But the prince brought it up anyways, “So what did you mean by you never getting to see her before we got off track?”

He swallowed, nervous about telling the story. It had been so upsetting when it happened, the depth of deception and the omission of details when he had agreed to carry a prince’s child to restore his family name. Gaelwin grabbed his hand, squeezing it to coax him into speaking. After taking a deep breath, he started, “After my family was disgraced and exiled, we didn’t think there would ever be a chance for one of us to restore our family name and reverse the king’s decision, not even after my father’s death. But one day a knight from the royal guard showed up at my family’s door and announced that the fifteenth princess, the daughter of the King who my father had betrayed, was willing to take away our disgrace if we did a favor for her and her eldest son. I accepted, even though my family begged me not to, afraid that the favor would be too great or impossible since my father’s betrayal had been unforgivable to King Ataria Erwyn.”

“You didn’t know what the favor was?”

“No. The knight took me to see a few of the royal mages, who told me that the fifteenth princess, your mother, wanted to choose someone to be the mother of her son’s child. I could have backed out, but I thought it was a blessing. All I had to do was bear a prince’s child, and my family name would be restored, I could return to my position in the palace as an honor guard. I even asked if I could do that, once the child was old enough for me to return to full-time service in the guard. They simply said I would be rewarded as your mother had promised.”

Gaelwin seemed to get where the story was going, nodding. “So you thought that you would become a consort for a prince, essentially. That by being a mother, you would be bearing and raising a royal child.”

“That’s exactly what I thought. The spell took a few days to perform, and then it took a week before the mages could test and see that I was with child. After they confirmed it, I thought they would take me to see the prince in the palace, so I asked if I could be with my family for a while instead, and they told me they’d intended to bring me back to my family anyway, that I’d stay with them until I gave birth.” He took another deep breath. “The pregnancy went by fine. Any difficulties I had, the mages provided remedies for. They checked on me frequently. My family and I prepared for the birth, prepared for the baby… we thought that the baby and I would remain at the family home for a few months until the baby was strong enough and I had recovered enough to make the journey to the palace.”

Gaelwin scoffed. “I can’t believe they let you think that. It just seems cruel.”

“...It was,” Tasnear said softly.

The prince moved closer to him until they were sitting pressed together. Gaelwin wrapped an arm around him and leaned his head against his shoulder.

Taking that as an invitation to continue, Tasnear did. “Things seemed alright when I went into labor. The mages were alerted and they stayed largely out of the way as my family helped me. Elvin children are born earlier and at a smaller size than human infants, and Orwina took after you. It took a while… but when I was pushing, the mages…” He stopped, biting his lip.

As he waited for Tasnear to finish telling him what had happened, Gaelwin took his hand again and played with his fingers.

“Um, they forced my family to leave and barred the entrances to the room with magic. As I finally gave birth to Orwina, they readied a spell. When she was born, one of them caught her and told the others that she was a girl and they cut the cord and covered her up and- and another two held me down and they used a spell to vanish with her. I never got to see her, I barely heard her cry… I first saw her when she and your siblings arrived in the forest of this realm, but I wasn’t really sure if it was just wishful thinking for a while until Everard started telling me about your letters from your mother…”

“I don’t know what I’d do if someone took away Orwina or one of my siblings from me.”

Seeing as how Gaelwin had tried to destroy the kingdom when he’d gotten separated from them upon first arriving in their realm, Tasnear had a pretty good idea of what the prince would do. “My family tried to help me forget about it. We weren’t even sure if she was alive, or who her father really was.”

“Not a prince, that’s for sure. At least not until we showed up here.” Gaelwin sighed heavily and flopped backward, Tasnear’s hand still in his. “Goodness. Those were upsetting stories.”

Tasnear wiped his eyes, finding that he’d teared up a bit while telling the story. He took another deep breath, trying to calm himself down. He didn’t have to be so upset anymore. Orwina was alive and well, very happy in her new life in the palace with her family. Tasnear got to see her every day, as the children’s unofficial guard. He couldn’t be a parent to her, but it was enough, knowing she was safe, seeing that she was happy and well cared for.

Even though Gaelwin was dangerous, Tasnear didn’t believe he’d ever hurt their daughter.

He laid down next to Gaelwin. The prince lifted his hand to inspect it as he fiddled around with his fingers.

“Are your nails naturally this color? Orwina doesn’t have black nails.”

“Yes. Elves have dark nails. Black nails are a trademark of my family… Usually, anyway. I guess hybrids don’t inherit that.”

“They’re nice. I like them better than mine.” Gaelwin’s nails were short and chewed on, bruised and scabbed underneath. “I wonder if we had another baby if she would have black nails.”

Prince Gaelwin was full of surprises. Any lingering upset over bad memories was quickly overtaken by shock. Tasnear turned to stare at him, eyes wide.

Seeing his expression, Gaelwin looked confused once more. “What?”

“What?” Tasnear repeated. “Is that- is that something you’ve thought about, Prince? Having another child?”

“No! I didn’t even believe that you were Orwina’s mother until I saw your body.”

“But- but you said she.”

“I just figured if we had another it’d probably be a girl since Orwina is. And I don’t know, I think another daughter would be nice. I mean, I’d be just as happy if it was a boy, but I’d prefer a girl. Not that I’d be upset at all if it was a boy.”

“Are you… trying to convince me?”

“I don’t know. Do you think you could be convinced?”

Tasnear wondered how it could have gone from him thinking that the prince was going to attack him to now, with Gaelwin possibly asking for a baby. It was due to this whirlwind that he found himself saying, “I- I suppose I could be.” Upon realizing what he’d just said, he quickly added, “But- but we barely know each other, Prince Gaelwin! Now I’d prefer to know the father of my child better. I’d rather… have a relationship with that person.”

“Well, we can’t get married,” Gaelwin said plainly.

“I didn’t-!” Tasnear felt flustered all over again. “That’s not what I meant, Prince Gaelwin. Um, why not, though…?”

Gaelwin gave him an exasperated look. “Tas, I’m married.”

“What?” The prince’s siblings had never mentioned that.

“You know that. To Queen Fractura?”

“Oh. Is that marriage actually binding, still…?” Tasnear felt relieved, for some reason. Gaelwin had been tricked into marrying a queen in order to receive his powers, and she’d tried to use him to destroy the kingdom of East Atalan, where his grandfather ruled. Thanks to his siblings and Tasnear, that hadn’t happened. He’d figured that with the evil queen in a dungeon somewhere that Gaelwin’s marriage to her would have been nullified or that the King would have insisted on a divorce.

Gaelwin nodded solemnly. “Yes. We’re still husband and wife.”

“You’re not seeking a divorce, Prince Gaelwin?”

“No. I don’t have any reason to.”

Tasnear could think of a handful of reasons off the top of his head, namely that the queen had tried to kill Gaelwin once he’d seen past her deception, and that she’d tried to use him to destroy a whole kingdom.

He kept quiet about that, though. Instead, he clarified, “I just meant getting to know each other better, Prince. Becoming friends, spending time together… building a measure of trust.”

“I trust you not to hurt my siblings if I’m not around.”

“And- and I trust you, not to purposefully harm me nor our daughter,” he told Gaelwin, finding that he was telling the truth.

The prince was quiet for a moment, and then asked him, “Do you want to go check on Orwina? All this… I wouldn’t mind making sure she’s tucked in.”

“I’d like that.”

Both of them got up and Tasnear pulled his shirts back on. He followed Gaelwin through the palace to the royal family’s living quarters. Gaelwin let him into a decent-sized room with a large bed- his own room. Then, the prince brought him through another door into another living space connected to his bedroom, where two smaller bedrooms branched off. In one room Tasnear saw Gaelwin’s brother and sister Everard and Averil on their beds, who eyed the both of them warily. In the shared space, Gaelwin’s youngest sibling, his brother Eberlein, was laying on his stomach on the floor, writing on a few pieces of paper, with an open book beside him. And in the other small bedroom, there was an empty bed that belonged to Eberlein, and another where Orwina was sitting and looking at a book, her blanket and pillows all shoved aside.

“Hello, Gael,” Eberlein greeted, not looking up from his writing. “Hi, Tasnear.”

Tasnear returned the greeting quietly. “Hello, Prince Eber.”

“Studying, dear Eberlein?”

“Mhmm. My tutor wants me to learn more about war history, so I’m writing down all the interesting battles I want to hear more about or anything that I want explained.”

“Good boy. Don’t stay up too late. That goes for you two as well, Everard, Averil.”

Everard scoffed, but his twin shyly replied, “Yes, brother. We were just talking.”

“Anything interesting?”

“We were waiting for you to get back and wondered what was keeping you, that’s all,” the girl admitted. “Eber went looking for you, but a guard told him you were in Tasnear’s room, so he came back.”

“We were worried about Tasnear,” Everard added, narrowing his eyes. “I guess we didn’t have to be. He looks fine.”

Suddenly aware that he was likely covered in bite marks and bruises around his lips and neck, his hair and clothes probably ruffled. Tasnear felt humiliated.

Gaelwin, who had no such marks and permanently ruffled hair, wasn’t ashamed. “Of course you didn’t have to be. You knew all along he was telling the truth. I was just making sure of it, and he was!”

“Oh!” Averil clapped her hands together. “I- I’m so glad, Tas! Now Gael doesn’t have to worry about you being our friend. Eve and I were worried he wouldn’t ever believe you.”

“Y… yes, there’s no need for anyone to worry, now.”

“Are y-you going to bed now, Gael?” Averil asked. “We’ll help shut off the lights.”

“Just a moment. Poppet, are you still awake as well?” Gaelwin stepped into Orwina’s bedroom, Tasnear close behind. “Oh! You’re reading?”

“Gael!” Orwina sat up in excitement. “And Tas!” She slid off of the bed and ran up to Gaelwin, hugging his legs.

“Hey, ‘pet.”

“Eber said you two were spending time with each other! Does that mean you’re friends now? I hope so!” Tasnear couldn’t help but smile at how earnest the little girl was. She looked thrilled at the idea of them being friends.

Gaelwin lifted her up. “I don’t hate him anymore.”

Orwina beamed. She turned to Tasnear and told him, “You’re friends with Gael! If he doesn’t hate you then he really likes you!”

Even a seven-year-old could tell Gaelwin was very difficult. “Oh? I’m glad…”

“I’m happy! Gael, are you happy?”

Gaelwin pressed his forehead against hers. “I’m happy to see you.”

She giggled and hugged his neck. “I’m happy to see you too!”

All of the bad feelings from before melted away seeing his daughter so happy with her father. Tasnear was so grateful that Orwina was such a happy child, always overjoyed to see her family and friends. Even if he could only be a friend to her, he was thankful.

“Tas and I wanted to come to say goodnight to you.”

Orwina’s eyes widened. “You called him Tas!” She looked back at Tasnear. “That means Gael really likes you a lot!”

“Do you want a hug from Tas, Poppet?”

The surprise on her face would have been comical if Tasnear wasn’t sure that his own expression mirrored hers. Glancing out of the bedroom door, he could see equally shocked faces on Gaelwin’s three siblings.

Prince Gaelwin didn’t let anyone else but his siblings touch his daughter.

Orwina reached out for him, the dull points of her ears twitching with excitement. He took her in his arms and she squeezed him tightly, making a happy noise against where she buried her face against him. Tasnear hugged her tight as well, relishing getting to hold his daughter for the very first time. He closed his eyes, feeling tears welling up, and tried to burn the memory into his mind so he wouldn’t ever forget it, so it would make up for the past seven years, for the grief he’d gone through when she’d been taken away as a baby.

“Poppet, do you want to sleep in my bed with Tas and me tonight? We both had a bad day…”

She popped up, ending the hug sooner than he wanted. “Yeah!” she answered, and Tasnear was glad that Gaelwin wasn’t immediately taking her back, instead just reaching to pet her hair as the elf held her. “Oh! If you had a bad day, can I read to you both before bed? Gael, my book-”

“I got it, ‘pet.” Gaelwin grabbed the book. “Let’s get to bed. Goodnight, everyone.”

A trio of goodnights, two confused, one normal, followed them. Tasnear felt a bit too embarrassed to look back at the twins, sure that they were feeling rather odd at knowing someone would be sharing their brother’s bed. But that embarrassment was just in the background. Being able to carry his daughter in his arms, feel how she settled against him, a weight that belonged there- that joy shone above everything else.

He couldn’t wait to write to his family and tell them that at last, he’d found his daughter. Something he’d been keeping from them in fear that he’d never get to be close to Orwina and would eventually be sent back home, returning to exile.

After setting Orwina down in Gaelwin’s bed, he took off his boots and tunic and set them on a chair. Orwina directed him to take the left side of the bed, as Gaelwin always slept on the right where there was an abundance of pillows. The prince went into his bathroom and came out in sleeping clothes, then climbed into his nest of pillows and handed Orwina her book. She flipped to the front of it and started to read.

A few pages in, Tasnear realized that Gaelwin was staring at him. He bit his lower lip, glancing at Orwina’s book to try not to think about it.

Midway through, Orwina was yawning and Gaelwin was still staring. After a few more pages, the book flopped over with a soft thud as their daughter fell asleep. Tasnear carefully picked up the book and set it on the nightstand. He tucked Orwina in, and Gaelwin turned out the lights with a wave of his hand, a breeze going around and blowing out all the lanterns. The two of them settled down, Gaelwin’s cold stare returning.

Somehow, Tasnear managed to fall asleep despite it. And when he woke up in the morning, Orwina had sprawled out with half her body on his chest and arm, and Gaelwin was awake, bags under his eyes, watching.

“Ha. I told you Gael would stay up all night.” Everard’s voice startled the both of them, the boy standing at the end of the bed with a tray of food in his hand. Tasnear kept himself from jumping, not wanting to wake up Orwina. Gaelwin hissed and glared at his brother.

Averil gave them both an apologetic look. “Oh, Gael. We told you Tasnear is safe. Why’d you let him stay here all night if you were worried?”

“It’s called trust-building. He slept all night and didn’t do anything to Orwina, so he passed a test. Ugh… Now I’m going to bed.” Gaelwin turned over and buried his face in his mound of pillows. He grumbled until his breathing slowed and he fell asleep quickly.

Everard rolled his eyes. “We brought breakfast. Avie’s got a kettle and we’re going to make some tea in our common room.”

“You’re welcome to join us once you’re free.”

“Free?” Tasnear echoed.

“Orwina has you trapped. You’re stuck under her for a while.”

“We can just wake her up.”

Averil laughed a little. “Okay. If you think you can bring yourself to. Only her tutor is stronghearted enough to wake her, and Eve asked her not to come since you’re here.”

“Yes. In bed with our brother, bruised up. That kind of gossip will spread, and Gaelwin doesn’t like rumors.”

“S-sorry. I’ll cover up before I go.”

As nice as it was to have his daughter sound asleep on top of him, sometimes embarrassment could win out. The twins snickered as his face reddened and walked to their living room, leaving him trapped under Orwina and keenly aware of how the bruises on his face and neck were aching.

In his letter to his family, he would definitely have to leave some things out.

#mpreg #past mpreg #just a warning this story has a brief mention where tasnear is worried gaelwin will attack or assault him but very quickly he realizes #that he wont lol. and also mentions a past child injury (princess avie is fine now) and a baby being taken away (orwina is now back with Tas #original story #oblio's fics #Gaelwin 'Gael' Blykren #Tasnear 'Tas' Lyreale #Everard 'Eve' Blykren #averil 'avie' blykren #Eberlein 'Eber' Blykren #Orwina Blykren #Blykren - story tag

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asteriismos · 5 years ago

Text

Sunshine Riptide - Eddie Kaspbrak

Warning(s) : virgin! eddie, eighteen! losers club, smut

Authors Note : okay okay idk if i like how this turned out, we’ll see lol. i wanted to post some kind of fic because it’s been a while and i love you guys

Words: 2.6k

Request :

I love your writing so much!!! 😍 I was hoping for some Eddie action- maybe down in the quarry where it’s just him and the reader? ;)

I have a request for a fic! An Eddie smut . Where you find out he's a virgin and you offer to help him out with that and it leads to him confessing his feelings?

I have a request for a fic! A smut with Eddie , where you go down on him for the first time

The sun shone down on the crystal blue water of the quarry, it’s waves brushing up against the steep wall of rocks that lined around the lake at the bottom. It was a hot day in Derry, the high today was going to reach almost 100 degrees Fahrenheit and the low being only 89. Summers in Derry always seemed to reach a point where the heat was almost unbearable, and it had been a little late this summer, considering it was almost the last week of July.

Deciding that there was no way to get rid of this heat at home, you and Eddie decided that it would be fun to go down to the quarry to cool off. Despite the heat, it was a beautiful day. Not a cloud in the sky. You couldn’t just waste this day. And there was no other loser that would come with you, some of them were stuck inside the house because of their parent’s fears of heatstroke, or they were hanging out with family.

There was only one other person in the group who could go outside today, and that was Eddie.

Well, Eddie wasn’t exactly allowed to go outside either. His mother was increasingly anxious that he would die if he even set foot outside in such extreme weather. It was pretty common for him not to be allowed to hang out with the group for whatever reasons. But today you had practically begged your best friend to come out to go to the quarry with you. And he did, sneaking out of his bedroom window with a bag that seemingly had his swim trunks and a towel.

Now here you two were, alone at the quarry, standing at the edge of the cliff. You were a little nervous about this whole thing, being here with Eddie alone. Mostly because you thought that Eddie was very attractive, kind, caring, and funny. It was a crush, a big one at that. And the fact that you were now standing with him alone, him only in his swim trunks were not making things better.

“We should probably jump before we die of heatstroke,” Eddie muttered to you, turning to face you. You looked over at him and laughed, taking a moment to take in his sppearance once again. His hair, which had now grown curly, was almost golden brown in the sunlight. And the freckles that peppered his nose and cheeks. His toned chest also made you swoon even harder. You couldn’t get enough of him.

Leaning over the cliff to take a look at the water, you said, “You should go first.”

“Oh, come on Y/N. You’re scared?”

“And you’re not? You’re telling me that you, Eddie Kaspbrak, aren’t freaking out about jumping?” You said to him. Eddie liked to freak out about the most random things, and you knew that the jump scared him half to death.

He played it off cool though, his hands wringing together and nodding. “Nope, not one bit.”

You smirked. “Then you should jump first.”

He gulped. “Fine,” He looked at you one more time, walking backwards so he would have a running start. He took out a deep breath and then suprisingly, ran forward and jumped right off the cliff into the water. You watched him fall and splash into the water, waiting for him to get far enough away from the splash site and then you too jumped off the cliff.

Feeling the water on your sunsoaked skin, you sighed out in relief. Eddie heard it and looked towards you, almost as if that noise had caught his attention. You shrugged it off, not thinking of it when you felt him splash water in your direction. “Hey!!” You yelled, arms raised up and splashing him back.

This went on for a little bit longer, you two gradually getting closer to each other with each splash. There was a moment where his hand grazed your arm and you blushed like crazy, going under the water to hide it.

It was truly the best day to be at the quarry. And somehow, no one was here with you guys. Because of the opening of the new Derry pool, many people didn’t come down here anymore. Usually it was just the Losers who were down here to swim. Not that you minded, that just made the quarry all that much more special to your little group.

Now Eddie looked even more beautiful. His curls were now soaked with water that dripped down the front of his neck all the way down his torso, glistening in the sunlight. You had to physically stop yourself from your jaw dropping at how hot he looked. And the funny thing was, he didn’t even know how hot he actually was. Eddie didn’t think that anyone liked him, which couldn’t be more from the truth. You heard the way that some girls would talk about him, about how hot he was, smart and funny. Some of them even wondered what he was like in bed.

You too have had thoughts like that, thoughts that were starting to plague your mind every single passing second you spent with him right now.

You wanted him.

Scratch that, you needed him.

And by the looks of it, he seemed to want you too. You pretended not to see it at first, like the first time he had looked at you when you let out that moan of relief from the water. But as time went on, you could feel his eyes on you when you weren’t looking. It excited you to think that the boy of your affections was thinking the same thing you were.

So you started to toy with him, see how long it would be before he broke.

You two had retired to laying on your towels by the water. You were laying down on your back with sunglasses on facing the sun. You made sure to puff out your chest as much as you could in your bikini, wiggling sometimes so that your breasts would move a little bit.

Seeing that that wasn’t enough, you decided to go even farther.

Sitting up, you reached behind your back and untied the back strap of your bikini, feeling the ends fall down to your side. You used your arms to keep the material along your chest in place while turning around so your exposed back was facing the sun. You heard him take in a sharp breath, making you smirk behind your sunglasses.

“What? I don’t want any tan lines on my back,” You said in a sweet, innocent voice. Even though your intentions were anything but that.

After a few more minutes, you turned back over, not caring as your swimsuit top fell off of you, exposing your chest to the sun.

Eddie must’ve been drinking water, because you heard him breathe in and start choking on something. A smirk still not leaving your face, you took off your sunglasses and turned to face him.

“Something wrong Eddie?” He motioned to your chest through his coughing fit, trying to attempt to shield his eyes from you. But you could see he was struggling, and there was a growing buldge in his swimwear.

Just what you wanted.

“Y/N, you should . . .” He trailed off, losing his train of thought. You cocked an eyebrow.

“I should what?” You asked innocently, scooting closer to him so you two were only inches away. You blinked, a sickly sweet smile appearing on your lips.

Eddie breathed out, his breath fanning your face. His cheeks were dusted a light rosey color, his breathing unsteady. It was silent for a few moments between you two, making you more and more anxious by the second. His eyes glanced down at your chest, then to your lips, and then back to your eyes. He opened his mouth, saying, “You should cover up before I can’t control myself anymore.”

That was enough to make you lean forward, your hands falling onto his chest. He met you halfway, pressing your lips together for a heated kiss. Being this close to him was making you get more aroused, feeling the bare skin of his chest against your hands. You had gotten what you wanted, and it seemed that he was as well.

Eddie moved so that he was on top of you, hands coming to each side, still kissing you. Your hands trailed up to tangle themselves in his hair, pulling at the curls, earning a groan from him. Your stomach flipped in excitement, that groan was incredibly sexy, and you could not get enough of him. His lips were intoxicating, Eddie tasted better than you could’ve ever imagined.

Your mind, which had once been thinking about Eddie as a friend, were now consumed with lust for the person above you, wanting to see him. To feel him. The need was forever growing.

“Eddie,” You breathed out, pulling away from him. “I need you.”

He twitched in his swimsuit against the inside of your thigh at your words. Eddie looked into your eyes and took his bottom lip in between his teeth. Suddenly, he looked nervous.

“I want you too Y/N, but what if someone comes down here?” He said.

You put your hand on his face. “We’ll be fine. No one comes down here.” That was usually the case. However, there was still the chance of there possibly being a person coming down here to fish or something. But then again, the whole idea of getting caught was kind of hot.

That seemed to convince him, his lips pressing against yours for a split second before pulling away yet again. You groaned out, missing his touch. What was holding you back?

“Eddie, what’s wrong?” You asked, an almost annoyed expression on your face. If he was just nervous about someone catching you two again, then you didn’t know what else to say to him.

“Y/N, I’m . . . I’ve never done this before,” He sputtered out.

Your eyes widened, expression softening. Oh. “You’re a virgin?”

An embarrassed blush came to his cheeks. “Don’t say it like that.”

You shook your head, smiling at him. “It’s okay Eddie, I’m just suprised. You’re so . . . well, you’re so you.” How could you explain how great of a person he was? There was no real way, not enough letters in the alphabet. “I can help you with that, if you want?”

He looked at you with wonder in his eyes, a hint of lust if you looked hard enough. He wanted this, Eddie wanted you. You just about melted right then and there. Slowly, he nodded. Yes.

You pushed him onto his back, crawling up his body to lay on it. With care, you kissed his lips, trailing all the way down his jawline, neck, and then his torso. Every single kiss was calculated, making sure to take your time as you got closer and closer to his waistband. Your hand teased at the edge of it, pulling the fabric and having it snap back onto his skin. Eddie’s hands flew to your hair, moaning a little bit at the contact.

You took your time to slide his swim trunks down, pulling him into your hands and pumping. He was breathing heavily now, the hands in your hair pushing you towards him desperately. You laughed a little bit, “Eager much?”

He didn’t respond, instead smiling sheepishly. You licked his tip, still pumping him with his hands. A few seconds later you opened up your mouth and stuck your tongue out, looking up at him. Go ahead.

Eddie got the memo, pushing you onto him. You felt his cock go all the way to the back of your throat, sliding your tongue under it. The sound that came out of him was enough to drench your swimsuit bottoms. You glanced up at him, seeing his head thrown back with red cheeks puffed up. Your name slipped out of his lips like it was the only thing that he could say.

Bobbing up and down on him, you felt spit drip down your chin, feeling the need to breathe. Pulling off, his hands in your hair came and held your face, his thumb rubbing circles on your cheek. It was so sweet and caring, you’ve never felt this connection with anyone else you’ve had sex with.

You leaned in to continue your previous actions, but he pushed your face away and instead rolled you over again, so you were on your back. He kissed you, his hands coming to take off the rest of what you were wearing. The kiss was sweet, passionate with lots of emotion. He wasn’t nervous, he was confident in himself.

“Tell me how to make you feel good,” Eddie whispered to you. You nodded, grabbing his wrist and guiding his hand down to your clit. He experimentally swiped over it, making you shiver, gripping his wrist and leading him further down to your enterance. A finger idly swiped against it, seeing a positive reaction.

Feeling that same finger enter you, your hand gripped his wrist tighter, keeping him there. His thumb stayed rubbing against your clit.

“Fuck, Eddie,” You moaned out, kissing him again. Once he got more confident with one finger, he added another one, stretching you out. The pressure was building up, making your moans more and more desperate for him. “I’m going to cum.” You looked at him in the eyes and he watched as you reached your high, feeling that familiar sense of euphoria wash over you while he still thrusted his fingers in and out of you.

He pulled the two fingers out, both of them slick with your arousal. You looked so beautiful like this, spread out before him, your hair surrounding your head like a halo. You took his breath away.

“Okay, I’m ready,” Eddie said in a moment of confidence. You spread your legs, waiting for him to push into you.

It wasn't long before he did, giving you a moment to adjust to him bottoming out. He thrusted in and out, finding a steady pace. Your legs came to wrap around his waist, making him hit a deeper spot in you that sent you screaming. You were so tight. Eddie started to get louder as well.

Right away you can feel that chase towards your high forming in you again, getting closer and closer as you heard Eddie muttering your name. His hand came and started to rub your clit again, just how you had showed him before. He was so hot, thrusting into you out in the open. Pleasure took over, along with lust, guiding you both to that peak.

His name rolled off of your lips like a mantra, kissing and nipping at his neck to make a few marks.

“I’m-” He started, but you interjected with, “Me too.”

His thrusts got harder this time, out of rhythm with each other.

And you both saw stars.

You two rode out your orgasms together, him eventually stopping and stalling inside of you. For just a moment, you two just sat there against each other.

Eddie pulled out of you, rolling over to lay beside you. Your breathing steadied and you turned to face him.

“Eddie?” You asked, putting your hand on his cheek so he would turn to face you.

“Yes?”

You smiled, kissing his cheek. “I didn’t just do this to be your first time.” He raised an eyebrow, staying silent as you still spoke. “I guess . . . I guess I’ve always had feelings for you.”

You bit your lip, awaiting some kind of answer.

Him pulling you into his chest for a hug, kissing your cheek was an answer enough.

#eddie kaspbrak #eddie kasbrak x reader #eddie kaspbrak smut #richie tozier #stanley uris #mike hanlon #bill denbrough #ben hanscom #beverly marsh #IT movie #it movie imagine #it movie 2017 #it movie x reader #it movie 2019 #pennywise

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imaginaryhuman · 4 years ago

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Insecurities, Fortitude and the Unfortunate Phenomenon of Gatekeeping

Note:

1. I'm trying to not be afraid of my own opinions (this will probably get a different word wall)

2. This isn't a hot take or a "permanent opinion". It's just...current. I think opinions fit a dynamic mold. Or I think it should since circumstances change and experiences can change thought processes.

3. My initial draft for this was a lot more aggressive and angry. When I started writing, I thought I would only tackle the one thing I was very familiar with (insecurities), then I read an article that miffed me a bit because of the gatekeeping vibes, and for a while, I was angry about it but then I realized how common it was. I've heard it from my brothers, I've experienced it with fandoms, with books, with cooking, and with running. There's even a subreddit for it! 👀

It's not like I'd wake up one day and it will be gone. Still, it does push me a few steps back when it comes to conquering slight misanthropy. But it matters to me to say this cause I grew up seeing myself as some last draw.

_____________________________________________________________

"I feel most responsible for myself when I'm insecure" I've wanted to expound on this for a while so here goes:

I've grown to have an intimate (and rather painful) relationship with insecurities. I was a sickly child so I would be in and out of hospitals so frequently that establishing young friendships didn't come easy. Some kids didn't take kindly to impermanence too and it's not anyone's fault. It just happened to be that way. Growing up, I came to realize that I wasn't exactly great at anything. Had I not been exposed to extraordinary minds, maybe I would have come to terms with it much kindly except I wasn't. I always thought that people around me were brilliant, smart, and talented (until now). To the point where I felt the need to alienate myself from it all so I could remain in the forefront of my own mind.

Comparisons come naturally but having them weigh on you is a different ball game altogether. Learning ways out of it is always challenging because insecurities aren't just a singular form of monster-- Sometimes it's about the future, sometimes it's body image, sometimes it's the gripping idea of not being enough for anything you love and it's all so cursed and horrible.

There was that time when more things were piled up on the mental shelving. I was talking shit about someone. Sure, people do it all the time but I think that time I was... viciously and purposelessly nitpicking. Everything I could say about that person, I said it. Totally not proud of that moment and a friend thought so too! First, they told me to shut the fuck up. Just like that, really. Next is they pointed it out. As in told me "V, you have a problem and it's really fine being a total hater but you're not usually like this with other things you dislike. What's wrong?" and then we EXPLORED. Doing this can be so cringe a lot of times but hey, we face the music in this club! I was happy to not be thinking about it alone and the experience made me learn a new way of confronting things and issues that make me feel insecure.

We talked about the whats, whys, and hows of being one hell of a hater and how even if certain reasons are justified. Like, okay, someone did something bad to you and you hate them for it? That's totally valid. Do you find certain traits a bit off your tastes? that's valid too! But even if they are valid feelings, most of the time it's not enough to justify certain actions. The thing is, we don't really have the right to be so up in someone's business about every little thing they do. It's frustrating and I feel like a hypocrite saying this sometimes because I have the obsessive compulsion to keep everyone at arm's length but I feel like there's a parameter where peoples' businesses either become something welcome or becomes a blip on a radar that I'd aggressively shoot down. Although I know that my radar can get too wide and that I need some willpower to hold back snark and suspicion. What can I say, I'm weak to any notions of ill-intent (a byproduct of assault).

But fortitude would sometimes come from borrowed words:

"Don't deny yourself what you think but don't do yourself a disservice by not figuring out what it really is about"

I was told then. To be truthful but exercise tact (I'm neither tactful, clever nor silent hence the trouble that follows) and to be mindful of the undercurrents of my thoughts. I think it's important to take a step back and at least ask yourself the most honest and genuine whys.

Insecurity has a bad rep and is too often used derogatorily for something so common and rather natural. But I feel that ultimately, insecurity stems from an understanding of what you don't have and the frustration of having aspirations. Having aspirations being a good thing but the frustration makes us people act up in so many different ways. For me, insecurities have primarily manifested themselves through the urge to just hide everything that makes me happy because I couldn't (and it's still hard to) stand digs at the things I do to keep me sane. Plus I've always thought them (happy things) few and temporary so that's that. Younger me was weird about it omg.

The rule in this house now though is to express what makes me happy and I think I've saved up a bit of grit to not allow myself to be gatekept (by others and by myself**) from those happy things! I love a lot of things (baking, running, reading, pets, anime & manga, drawing...) and the gatekeeping going on with all those? Surprisingly plenty! A totally different word block (that I won't write because I think this has to be put to rest here), really, and also a total nightmare. But how it applies in the realm of insecurities is... Oh, boi. Ignore it-- it's just bad news as it is strong fuel to a fire you don't want to keep going. If you love doing what you do and you're not hurting anyone then just keep going. I know for a fact that the things I love doing are loved by many others too because running? Creating things? Reading? These are things worth loving without it having to be a competitive chore (If you wanna challenge goals though then hey! Good on you! YOU CAN DO IT!)

Draw your lines, plan your layering in a way that fits your style. Use the tools that work for you. Put on your shoes and get going. I'm only particular with speed because I want to get better (and lol I am not fast) but just being out there and moving? That's already running. Fail some recipes or nail em, whatever happens, just try. Fangirl over what you wanna fangirl about! Post it on your IG and all your other socials. A rather horrifying realization is that no matter what you do, someone's gonna take a dunk at ya. Worse, you can be intentionally approached and engaged for that purpose primarily. It's okay (not really but... if it happens, it happens ). Even if you're used to it, it will still get to you but maybe less and less through time. When the voice of apprehension guides you to retaliate in the most painful way you know, just keep the fear at bay and be strong to not let that urge take over your words and actions. Be frustrated! It's fine! And I really don't support self-harm so please don't misunderstand when I say that when it comes to fear and insecurity, there's a lot you have to take on yourself so you don't hurt others. A lot to unpack between you and your brain. There are people who can love you without patronizing you and those you can trust to reign you in when you lose better judgment. Be honest and let them in.

Have that conversation.

Extras:

- AH! But I got to say this cause I also saw a post that said "if you haven't ran 50 to 100 miles, you don't know what a hard run is" wow. Fuck that guy. Actually, don't. He's probably not a fun date.

- this: "you can be intentionally approached and engaged for that purpose primarily" is from experience. An extra worse thing is to be vilified for retaliating. Like...was I just supposed to sit there and take it?

- I used to not like motivational quotes! I mean, I'm alright with them now for sure! We were talking about them and I was asked "What's wrong with properly credited borrowed words? You use them all the time since you like referencing songs." and it was like a tunnel of light appeared before me! Sorry for those whose post I've frowned at! I had an angst phase! I am very genuinely sorry 🙏🏻

#personal #self indulgent #insecurities #word wall #writing #opinions and commentary #fuck gatekeeping

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propertyofnikkisthighs · 4 years ago

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She’s My Collar pt. 5

So I was gonna try to upload an update for both fics, but I’m still feeling yucky so have this chapter for now which I’m sorry if it’s not great, the next one will be better I promise lol.

Tag List: @nowhereiswhereibelong @littlemisscare-all

“Miss did you hear me?” The officer in front of me grunts.

“I’m sorry could you repeat the question for me?” I ask shyly focusing on him and not Kevin shouting and thrashing as the other cops are shoving him into the police car.

“I asked you if you could give me your recount of the events that took place tonight.”

“Oh right. Well…”

The flames are starting the consume the curtains and spread across the carpet as Tommy and I round the corner from my bedroom. I make a beeline for the kitchen to grab the extinguisher I had luckily purchased when Nikki started lighting himself on fire in their apartment. I toss it to Tommy and he gets everything currently on fire doused with the foamy liquid.

“What the fuck?” He wonders aloud as he reaches down picking up a broken bottle out of the mess. “River who the fuck would throw a moltov cocktail in your apartment?”

It’s like Loki the God of chaos himself is answering him when my door is kicked in and Kevin sways in full of intoxicated rage. He spots me frozen with fear against the fridge and begins to stomp towards me.

“You fucking good for nothing cunt I should’ve killed you when I had the chance” He screams and lunges towards me but is knocked to the ground by Tommy tackling him.

Tommy’s fist is covered in blood by the time I can get him pulled off Kevin and he spits on him as I get him pulled out of there just in time for the police and fire department to be pulling into the parking lot.

“We’ll be in touch.” The man hands me his card with his info on it before getting in his car and leaving.

Tommy is silent as we walk back to my apartment for me to inspect the damage done. My plants near my window scorched and my carpet destroyed is enough to send me over the edge. I collapse in the fetal position and let myself break down for the first time since the chaos began. I feel Tommy lay on the ground next to me and wrap his arms around me letting me have my moment.

“Thank you.” I hoarsely let out.

“I told you that you were stuck with us guys for the rest of your life especially me.” He pressed a small kiss to my shoulder and butterflies filled my stomach.

“Let's get off the ground.” I sniffle the both of us sitting back up slowly and eventually clambering back into my bed.

He pulls me against his body and rests his chin on the top of my head, the soft movement of him breathing lulling me to sleep.

“It’s the goddamn principal of the matter.” Nikki ranted as he paced through my living room while I tried to enjoy my morning coffee.

“So tell Vince you’re pissed.”

“No I can’t let him think he won. He needs to think I never wanted Beth in the first place.” He scoffed.

“Did you want Beth?”

“She gives great blowjobs. That’s why I suggested a threesome in the first place.” He plops into one of my chairs looking up at the ceiling.

“Listen Nikki I’m gonna be brutally honest since we’re friends and you would be with me, this is your fault for opening up your girlfriend to Vince Neil.”

“I hate it when you’re right you know that?”

“You’ll find a new groupie to fuck Nikki you’ll be fine. Now we gotta get to the studio you boys have photos for the album we need to take today.”

The boys had finished recording their first album by the grace of God himself. They spent the entire few days in the studio drunk and pissing off their sketchball manager, but by the end of it they had a full blown album that didn’t take much money to produce. They even got to save money on photos for the album since I was their personal photographer, which aforementioned sketchball was thrilled about. His name was Alan, but I didn’t have a good feeling about him so I rarely referred to him by his name, not to his face.

“My hair isn’t going to show!” Vince pouted in front of the (awful) white background Alan had thrown together for their album pictures.

“It’ll be fine Vinnie we’re gonna get them edited by a professional.” He quipped from beside me.

“Excuse me?” I ask unaware he was having somebody else edit my photos.

“Well yeah sweetheart you expect me to trust the work of an amature to look good enough without editing? You’re out of your mind.”

“Listen here you sweaty ass-” I’m cut off by Tommy’s hand covering my mouth blocking the next slew of insults I had prepared.

“Let's take 5 for a cigarette break” He says cheerfully and leads me away still covering my mouth.

“You can stop licking my hand thinking that is gonna make me move it from your mouth you know.” Tommy says after dragging me outside the building we were shooting in. I pull away from him and fix him with a death glare that he just chuckles at lighting up a cigarette.

“I don’t want someone else to fuck with my photos Tommy. They’ll ruin it, I just know it.”

“It’ll be fine Riv. Besides if it’s fucked up then next time Alan can pay you more to do the photos and the editing.”

“Yeah that cheap bastard isn’t about to pay me more for jack shit Tommy.” I roll my eyes and pace back and forth in front of him. “Are you guys sure you want him as your manager? He gives me a weird feeling.”

“I think you’re paranoid babe” Tommy pulled me close and placed a kiss on my forehead. “Now lets get through this photoshoot so we can party it up later alright?”

“As much as I hate The Troubadour sometimes, yes I’m willing to get through the rest of the photoshoot so that we can go ‘party it up’ with the boys there” I tease and lean in close to him.

Tommy’s intoxicating scent of leather, cigarettes, and the men’s body wash I’ve been getting him to use pulls me in and I tuck my face into his neck and place a soft kiss there. He hums as his hand plays softly in my hair and he pulls slightly to tilt my head up. Our lips connect in a soft peck and he pulls away to stroke my cheek with his thumb.

When I walk back in Alan was nowhere to be found, which was perfect for me so that I could get my work done faster. Vince it seems has also finished his little temper tantrum as well. The rest of the shoot goes by without a hitch and we get our final shot for the cover of the album, which was just a close up shot of Vince’s crotch. By the time we get done and piled into my car it’s about time to get ready for the party the boys were throwing for completing the album and releasing it themselves on their own record label.

“Are you Nikki Sixx?” A voice off to the side of Nikki calls and he turns from our conversation with a shit eating grin giving her a single “no” in response.

“Oh well that’s a shame cause I was going to split this quaalude with him.” She shrugs and goes to move on, but Nikki quickly stops her and confirms he in fact is Nikki Sixx and he was just fucking with her.

I watch her smile and bite her drug in half placing the other half onto Nikki’s tongue and he looks like he just might be falling in love for the first time. I look around and see Vince and Beth wrapped up together and Mick nursing his bottle of vodka, but I can’t find Tommy. I make my way through the crowd up to the bar and I don’t spot the tall brunette anywhere. He could just be outside smoking a cigarette, I tell myself feeling the bits of insecurity start to blossom in my head.

“Two Jack and Cokes please” I say to the bartender when I finally get his attention. I figure if I go to find Tommy with a drink in hand it makes me look less like a crazy person.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing ordering your own drinks?” The man to my left says and I have to put effort into not rolling my eyes.

“Well nothing on me is broken so I’m more than capable of getting my own drinks” I shoot back trying to walk away, but his hand comes up to block me from going forward.

“I’m just saying if you got a man he should be catering to you. What’s your name goddess?” His sickening grin shows teeth all too white against far too tan of skin.

“Her name is none of your business.” A deep huff comes from behind me and I turn to see Mick casually leaning against the bar.

“What are you her fucking dad?” The overly bronze man snaps.

“I’m trying to help you, but if you don’t want to keep all your fucking teeth that’s your dumbass decision.” Mick chuckles and tips his head to Tommy making his way towards us already sending hate eyes to the man next to me.

“You should listen to the man.” I shrug. “He fights.” I nod toward Tommy for emphasis.

The man looks like he’s about to argue when I feel Tommy slide his arm across my shoulders.

“This guy bothering you babe?” He asks sipping the drink in my hand never breaking eye contact with the strange guy with a look that said ‘one wrong move and I’ll kill you.

I smile like a cat that just caught a mouse and sip my drink as well.

My back hits the back wall of the closet as Tommy tries to find a secure place to hold my body so he can kiss me and grind into me at the same time.

“Fuck can I get this kind of reaction everytime I stick up for you.” Tommy pants breaking away from our kissing to catch his breath.

He hisses as I grind against him while pulling his hair back to expose his neck to me. I take the opportunity to nip at the skin there and feel the rumbling of another groan pass through him. Tommy begins to unlace his pants and suddenly the realization of how public we are hits me. Right as a worker opens the closet door to be exact.

“Ah I’m so sorry!” I yelp climbing off Tommy and rushing out of the closet and out the back door. Tommy is hot on my tail quickly catching up with the help of his long ass legs.

“Come on.” Tommy begins leading me to my car. “We’re going to your apartment to finish this.

#she's my collar #tommy lee fanfic #mgk!tommy lee fan fic #mgk!tommy lee #Tommy Lee #nikki sixx fanfic #douglas booth!nikki sixx #douglas booth!nikki sixx fanfic #nikki sixx #vince neil fanfic #daniel webber!vince neil #daniel webber!vince neil fanfic #Vince Neil #mick mars fanfic #Mick Mars #iwan rheon!mick mars #iwan rheon!mick mars fanfic #motley crue fanfic #the dirt fan fiction

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a-shakespearean-in-paris · 4 years ago

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Writer’s Review Tag

tagged by @muse-of-nightmares to do a tag she came up with, which is pretty awesome. Honestly I’ve been toying with doing something similar.

Rules: Post two snippets of your writing. The first should be one of the oldest examples of your work that you can find (the older the better!), and the other has to be an excerpt from something more recent. Compare the two side by side to see the difference between what your writing looks like now and how it did then.

tagging @galadrieljones @lechatrouge673 @idrelle-miocovani @thevikingwoman @ma-sulevin

onto exposing myself

Originally I was just going to share the first chapter of my first fic in fandom, but I can offer you even older original fiction.I thought most of this story got lost in my last computer (RIP) but I found some pieces on my flash drive. A lot of it is horrifying but some of it is just mediocre. Here’s a snippet from what 18 year old me thought was going to be a part of the next great American novel (featuring 2 characters from England. Rowan is an actor and Ophelie is a writer who wrote a play Rowan starred in. though at this point Ophelie is still writing it. Also they were childhood lovers till he packed up and left for America, how Wuthering Heights of Rowan. Also, this takes place during WWII.)

And then, she thought she could take it no longer. “Why did you leave me?” She asked in a breathless murmur. “Why did you ever want to leave me?”

“What?” He said, but he heard her. Oh, he heard her, he was only stalling so he could think of a response.

“Why did you leave me? I loved you Rowan Hartley. I would have given everything for you. And you left me. I can still feel the pain after these years. I can still remember waking up and trying to find you, then realizing you weren’t there.”

“Ophelie, I didn’t do it to hurt you. I didn’t do it because I didn’t love you. I wish you knew how much I did.”

“All evidence is toward the contrary.”

“I did it because I wasn’t worthy for you!”

She could feel the fresh tears. “No. You were afraid of what you were feeling. That’s why you left. You didn’t know what would happen if you would have stayed, so you left me.

“Maybe I left you because I started to wonder what would happen if I stayed. Maybe you would have changed your mind again and decided you didn’t really love me.”

She bit the inside of her mouth so hard she tasted blood. “I wouldn’t have changed my mind again. Ever. I wrote you a letter Rowan, you never got it, but I wrote a letter. For all intents and purposes I was pledging myself to you, and asking for you to have me again. But you never got it.”

“That’s your answer to everything is it? To write it out? And if you loved me so much, then why didn’t you find me?” He demanded. “You knew where I was going. You could have tried to find me if you loved me so much.”

(cut plot related dialogue for brevity)

“Let’s forget about the past. Let’s just work together to make something wonderful. And when it is I promise I will bring you from backstage and tell everyone in the audience, and all of the critics how you were the one that wrote this,” Rowan said.

She nodded, after a while. “Alright.” She murmured. “I’m sorry I brought…that up.”

“It’s alright.” He said, his hands still on her. “Do you think we can forget this ever happened, and forget about the past?”

“I don’t think I can forget the past.” She admitted.

In her eyes, there were tears. He wanted to wipe them away.

“I don’t think I can either.” He admitted as well. “I don’t think there has ever been a day that passed were I didn’t think of you.” And then he kissed her on the cheek.

It was only supposed to be a gentle sign of friendship, it was only to set them at ease again, so they could work. But Rowan was lying to himself. As soon as his lips touched her cheek she could hold it no longer. She threw her arms around his neck and sobbed.

And here’s something from this August, my DA modern AU. Light spoilers but after fake dating for a bit so Cullen could have a plus one for his family reunion, he asked her to marry him so he could protect her under the Inquisition. (long story, it’s just relevant she said yes and now they’re talking about their wedding and their plans after.)

“Would you like to indulge in… after wedding activities?”

She looked at him with a mixture of bemusement and pure joy, if that was even possible. Then she laughed and laughed, grabbing and linking their arms together.

“I thought my sexual attraction was obvious.,” she said, still chuckling.

“It is?”

She laughed again and reminded him about the two times they danced, and every little touch she initiated with him. He put the pieces together, along with the fact that she did say yes to his question of marriage, along with the fact that yes, she wasn’t afraid of touching him, and then je supposed he was one of the stupidest men in Thedas.

“I like verbal confirmation,” he defended.

“Do you want me?”

The question burned. He had been so concerned with her, caught up in the “standard” of what wedding nights and honeymoons usual entailed that he didn’t think of what he wanted.

But he realized it was never a question. She unlocked something in him, set a spark that was now a fire. He wanted.

“Every time I see you, every time we touch,” he told her, “I feel…”

She waited. He saw his want as a fire, but could not bring that fire to a spark. He settled on “interesting.”

“Interesting?” She repeated, mildly amused. “Cullen.”

“I want to discover every little piece of you,” he said, damn it all if it was too much. “I want you in my arms…all the time, except sometimes we have clothes on but most of the times we don’t…”

Want continued to burn. He never really felt it like his before. He had small instances of infatuation in his time, the only notable one being Neria when he still lived in the Circle at Kinloch. He imagined himself taking her to a field of flowers, holding her hand and kissing her. Boyish fantasies, but ones that were his. Yes, sometimes he thought lewder things, but the shame of it all—she was one of his charges—prevented any daydreams from growing wilder.

His daydreamed wildly about Lydia. He was on fire at night when she stirred next to him, and he imagined what she would feel like sans clothes with bodies pressed together, imagined what she would taste like, and what she would say if he kissed her everywhere. He touched himself previously of course, though he hadn’t since he was home, but if there ever was a time where he wanted…

He didn’t. He waited, leaving himself cold at night, though still burning. It was torture.

Well. Judging by her conversation, he wasn’t going to have to wait for long.

“I wonder when you’ll kiss me,” Lydia muttered, and Cullen sensed her fire, burning brightly as his.

“You know,” he saw fit to point out, “you can just as easily kiss me.”

“True enough.”

He waited. He fully expected it then, but she indulged him with only the briefest of kisses against the corner of his mouth, but not his quite mouth. He tried not to completely sink into the earth, too defeated. The feeling of her lips however, though too brief, was divine.

“Today,” she said, a delicate and smooth finger caressing the line of his jaw, “you’ve satisfied me by saying you want us together naked, eventually anyway. I can wait.”

She kissed his cheek before propping him up so his mother could see his new battle scar.

Analysis: It’s the theatre in me, I like to tell stories through dialogue. In fact, I remember starting my red dead fic with the intent of improving my storytelling without so much of it, as I really wanted to focus on description. (Another story because there’s still a lot of dialogue in that fic, lol.) But I picked these two dialogues to talk about together because I have since learned dialogue scenes should be a gradual unraveling. It’s more apparent in the second scene, where the build is gradual. there’s also description and thoughts mixed in more tactfully, with the first scene escalating with no build. And sometimes that happens in real life, but I feel the dialogue isn’t as natural. I think though it is important to mention that the first scene is a drama while the second is more romantic comedy, which even veers to the screwball romantic comedy territory.

let’s not even get started on much better my smut is now.

#oh god #please dont laugh lol #i was so stuck on rowan and ophelie #or Rophelie #but alas I think the story wasn't meant to be #I have a new fresh OTP I'm developing no #*now #hope to see them in writing soon

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