#lol not me posting another one at 3am on a sunday

[flower-cage]

To Serve

by @flower-cage Ao3 | Masterlist Aemond Targaryen x Servant!Reader Summary: That morning, the crown Prince entered the young Queen's chambers and changed your life forever.

Words: 3,768

Warnings: explicit sexual content, dubious consent, power imbalance, humiliation kink, voyeurism. Minors, do not interact.

Your new role of serfdom started not unlike that of attending to the needs and whims of the Dragons. Up before dawn, you ensured that dresses were washed and perfumed, jewelry and shoes polished. In the late morrow, you served tea to the Queen and her mother. At luncheon, you would have taken the chance, in their absence, to clean and tidy their chambers, had it not been for your newest promotion.

That morning, while his sister and mother broke their fast, the Prince entered the young Queen’s chambers and changed your life forever.

He had always paid you close attention. In truth, only seldom were you ever in the presence of the one-eyed Prince, but whenever chance brought you together, you felt his lingering, insistent gaze on the hairs in the back of your neck. Always. 

It did not take long for others to take notice of it, too. Often the maids would tease you for the interest you had awakened in the Prince known to be harsh and cold and cruel like a winter storm.

“You are fortunate he does not take after his brother’s depraved malversations,” you would often hear.

This was what the whole of Westeros knew of him back then, before the Dance.

That morning, you had twisted your hands in your apron, standing outside his door and garnering the strength to raise one of them to the wooden slabs.

“It is unlike my son to show interest in a lady,” the Dowager Queen had told you, clinking a silver teaspoon against fine porcelain, “or anyone at all, for that matter.”

Your guts knotted of their own accord. Your spine shuddered cold.

“I would like you to tend to his needs from now on,” she had announced easily, breaking apart a piece of crusty bread. “All of his needs.”

Now, you often wonder if she would have offered you so unashamedly if she had known he would mature into such an unscrupulous man. Or, you wonder most often, perhaps she had always known. Perhaps she had hoped he would satisfy his dormant savagery, then inhibited by a pretense of duty and propriety, if only she delivered him a feast before it fully wakened.

And feast he would, though his hunger would never be sated.

In the end, he would teach you everything you learned of this world of carnal indulgences.

That morning, he had risen leisurely from his seat of leather, strode to you lazily, smiled self-assuredly. You stood stoic, hands fidgeting and sweating behind your back, a half-step past his chambers’ door after courage and fear had finally coaxed you in.

He stalked toward you until his nose brushed yours faintly and your back rested against the cold wood. His eye roamed you freely, his masculine scent of leather and cedar crowded your senses, and your body shuddered beneath his desirous stance.

“I shall not take that which is not freely given,” his whisper tickled the shell of your ear, “and I shall not award what is not yet desired.”

His promise stretched on for days on end.

You tended to him much like you had his sister: tending to his chambers, washing his clothing, learning his habits. You served him wine at supper and tea in the morrow. You dressed him before Small Council meetings and bathed him after his daily practices.

Until you didn’t.

“Prince Aemond requests your services,” a familiar knight announces after rapping on the door.

You rise from where you have been sitting at your vanity table, combing your hair to a shine as is your Prince’s preference. You fix the sleeves on your dress, but it does not grant you any decency whatsoever, not when its translucent, iridescent silk ostensibly reveals the shape and shades of your bare body, not when the slit that travels up your right thigh cuts up to your hip bone. 

Such are and have always been your Prince’s preferences.

“Where is your uniform?” he asked you sternly when you met him at the training grounds.

He took the cup of fresh water from the tray you carried, gulping down its contents to then wipe his face and short hair with the towel you brought him.

“M-my Prince?” you asked timidly, breathless at the abrupt inquiry and at the sweat that glistened his pale skin.

“The dresses I gifted you,” he pressed, displeased. “I thought I made myself clear - you are to wear them henceforth. You are to solely wear them.”

His sharp gaze was menacing, surely, but the disappointment was there, too, hidden in the glint of his blue eye to chastise and guilt you. Though mortified at the improper implications of his demands, the thought of disobeying him was what truly shook you to the core.

The White Cloak takes you to a set of heavy doors which he pushes open to reveal King Aegon II’s Small Council. He was once the depraved son of King Viserys I, but he is no longer the exclusive bearer of such a title.

Your Prince sits to the left of the King now, across from the Lord Hand, in a great position of power. The Dance had reshaped many things in the Realm, and he had been no exception. 

He doesn’t cover his monstrous gash and sapphire stone like he used to when his mother was still alive. He hasn’t held many habits of propriety since. More scars cut across his milky skin, some even crawling from beneath his collar, and the long white mane he used to proudly maintain in honor of his heritage is kept short to enhance all of his additional, menacing features.

His body is that of a man, now: no longer slim and taut but large and burly from battle, and yet his most striking transformations had not been merely bodily.

You walk toward him surely but quietly, eyes fixed on him whilst he does not award you a single glance. He is engrossed in the scheming that does not halt at your entrance, but you know he wants you when you see his parted knees, when you see leather pulled tight over his stiff shaft.

His jaw is clenched tight and the fingers on his right hand fiddle around thin air, so you know to step silently between his parted legs and descend to your knees underneath the table. The rough fingers that do not worry over it snake around the back of your head to gently thread through your hair. He needn’t say nor command anything else.

You stroke him to full hardness, grazing your teeth against the base and running your nose along the shaft, to then unbutton him quietly.

He is as silky and warm as always against your tongue. He drags against your cheeks when you hollow them and his skin, taut around his swollen tip, pulls back and forth when you suck on it. You don’t recall when you first enjoyed his weight in your mouth this much.

You risk a glance at him. He pays you no mind, and his stoic façade gives away nothing, but his chest moves up and down rapidly and you know it means you’re being good. You suppress a whine at his modest appreciation.

He is impossibly handsome as he towers over you, gaze sharp and jaw tight as he ignores you. You want nothing more than his praise and attention, so you lick and please him slowly, lazily and patiently. He is busy, you remind yourself, and he will reward you when the time comes. He always does.

Between your thighs, your skimpy dress slickens with your arousal as it builds steadily to an insatiable ache. It has become second nature for your body to give in to him in this way, even when he has yet to touch you. He has trained you this way.

“Have you kept it wet for your Prince?” he whispers against your neck each time he comes back to his quarters in the early evening. 

The question is often accompanied by a slithering hand, like a snake that seeks warmth, it buries itself in your cunt to confirm it is to his standards. He hums in satisfaction each time.

“When in my presence,” he had told you once, depositing you in an armchair across his desk, “I want to marvel at my cunt freely,” he explained as he hooked your knees over the armrests and bunched your skirts around your waist.

And you awakened breathless, hours later, with his tongue licking inside you and his nose on your pearl of pleasure. 

You had stood no chance. To you, he is intrinsically bound to that feeling that crawls under your skin, that under his touch erupts in elation.

Now, you are wide awake and it is you who tastes him eagerly. 

When he begins to drip, hot and salted, your fingers grip his thighs harder as your own quiver in a need you haven't been able to control in a long time. You look at him again. His cheeks are hollowed, jaw locked shut, eyes slitted in fury.

The lords in the Small Council haven’t halted their discussion despite your interruption and it is clear what they discuss displeases your Prince greatly. If not, he might have not summoned you.

This is not the first time the Prince has had you in their presence, it is not the first time he has had you in the presence of others at all. If it had been, perhaps you would have been capable of greater shame.

When he took you in and you proceeded to tend to him exclusively, little of your customary routine changed. But when his demands started to reflect his true intentions, his true desires, it couldn’t be said you were a simple maid of the palace.

That first time, you had been brushing your hair at your vanity, as you often now did, and applying to your skin the feminine oils your Prince preferred. In an immodest lavender dress of his choosing and delicate jewelry he appreciated, you tended to yourself as he demanded.

The doors to his sleeping chambers push open to allow a small entourage of maids to set his breakfast - your breakfast. Your jerk reaction is to look away from them, the people who had once been your colleagues, and hide your healthy, pampered face. 

Your eyes land on his lavish, sunny balcony where he leans against the railing directly across from you. He loves to watch his beast terrorize the city below with her sky-bound rounds first thing in the morrow. But he watches her no longer.

He shines brightly and god-like under the sun; his messy short hair glows a halo above him, and the sapphire lodged on the left side of his face glints to highlight the cut of his scar like thunder. Despite the warmth of the morning shine, he is cold, white-cold, with his silver hair and porcelain skin, his milky chemise that reveals his milky chest, and his silky pants that bulk to reveal his salacious musings.

Your breathing quickens as you take him in fully, in all his terrifying, improper glory. Your hand holds your brush halfway through its path and your lips hang parted as he holds your gaze intently, as you watch him with a hunger that escapes your agency.

When he pushes off the stone ledge, you let your brush hit the floor. Such is the effect he has on you, such is the extent of his influence.

He drops to frame you within his arms, leveraging against the cushioned seat of your vanity desk, to take your lips in sloppy teasing, giving you just enough of a taste that something within you quivers wantonly.

Behind you, the porcelains and silvers continue to clink against the wood, chairs scrape across the stone, and heavy cloth slaps in the still air.

“What’s this, then?” he whispers and deprives you of his tongue too quickly. You grasp onto his strong arms to center yourself, breathing heavily against him. 

Fingers run up your inner thigh and you shiver violently, desiring him violently.

“Are you ashamed of serving your Prince?” he grins maliciously.

“O-of course not my-” you choke on a gasp when he brings his hot lips to your neck, sucking on the spots that have you dripping under your skimpy gown.

He takes your left knee and hooks it around his hip, pulling you flush against him as he presses you down on the long chaise. A yelp escapes you when you feel his hot girth against your cunt.

“Or are you ashamed of how thoroughly you enjoy it?” he grunts against your lips, thrusting his clothed bulge against you. You bite your lips closed painfully as you are painfully aware of the people behind you.

“I didn’t say you could leave,” he barks, glancing upward to your utmost horror. You hear the servants scurry behind you, imagining their bowed heads and embarrassed looks. Your own embarrassment grows until tears gather in the corners of your eyes.

“Not until she comes,” he adds, looking at you, grinning widely, while he snakes a hand between your legs and burrows his fingers deep inside in a swift stroke.

You burn in shame when your eyes roll to the back of your head and a long whine is forced out of your lips.

“It won’t be long now,” he continues, watching your tears spill, fucking your cunt fast, “she is wet and swollen already.”

Indeed, the noises coming from between your legs are excessively obscene. And he is right, he knows your cunt - his cunt - too well.

When he plugs you with his thick girth, you whine and moan in complete abandon. And when he plows you fast enough to make the chaise scrape against the floors, you scream and beg for him before soaking his cock in your unlimited ecstasy.

The first time he’s ever had you in the presence of others was long ago.

Now, you know that when his fingers tighten on your nape you are to release his hard cock quickly. You know to mount it instead.

You make quick, silent work of it not to disturb him and the processes of the court that still unravel behind you. You straddle his thighs, tuck your toes behind his knees, grip his leather vest tightly, and hide your face in the crook of his neck. The hand that had been in your hair now rests on your hip, thumb hooked under the scandalous slit of your dress to bury in the crease where your thigh meets your hip.

You count the time that passes in the drops of sweat that roll down your temple, in shaky breaths you rein against his skin, in the thrums of your blood.

Your cunt, dripping and dripping, quivers weakly around him. Though you refrain from moving and driving yourself to your insanity, it throbs on his shaft as you feel the mere ghost of his touch on your most pleasurable spot.

Your body aches with the effort of keeping composure, keeping quiet, keeping from breaking. And every time your Prince has input on the session that stretches on, his chest rumbles and you must refrain from mewling in satisfaction.

It is not until your mind is hazy with exhaustion and your eyes spill tears of agony that the heavy chairs start to scrape against the stone floors, one by one. Your heartbeats pick up their rhythm from where they had rested in patience. 

And when footsteps follow, he pulls your face from hiding by the sweaty hairs on the back of your neck.

A small yet immensely condescending smile plays on his sculpted lips. It makes you aware of your humiliating conditions: a servant, chosen to fulfill the pleasures of her liege Prince, at the brink of insanity from entertaining her own pleasures instead.

You are lost in his mismatched blue eyes, so much so that you are caught off guard when he starts shoving your hips back and forth to grind on his cock. Instantly, it drags a long gasp from you, crosses your eyes, waters your mouth.

“Hm?” he questions patronizingly, looking down with a raised eyebrow that mocks your lustful reaction.

His ministrations are excruciating, his cockhead bullying hard and unforgiving on your most pleasurable spot. In this way, you are violently driven to ecstasy, just shy of peaking with the same intensity, when he halts all movement without warning.

But you are given time to neither cry nor beg for his mercy, for he hugs you tight to his chest, angles your hips up and away from his cock, and thrusts.

You gasp painfully against his leather-covered pecs when he does, and he soon pulls your head back by your hair to place your chin against it instead.

Through your pleasure-hazed eyes, you see his mirth and his composure. And it is always this way: regardless of how eagerly he takes you, no matter how passionately he desires you, you are always the one debauched and he is always the one untarnished, always viciously becoming of his royal status.

“Go on then,” he murmurs when he watches your tears roll the sides of your face, your lips parted in unbearable pleasure. “Go on and cream on it.”

Because his growl electrifies you from within, because you’ve learned to be promptly obedient, because you cannot help it, you do as he commands.

Your cunt contracts so tightly, for a second his cock gets trapped mid-thrust before he repeatedly shoves himself inside you to forcefully ride the surges of your orgasm. Your loose chin bumps against his chest, leaving sloppy trails behind, and your breasts spill, little by little, from the flimsy restraint of the fabric that skates down between your bodies.

He loves to debase you in this way.

He doesn’t stop, and you are unable to determine when your first orgasm ends and the second starts to mount.

But he can.

He hisses when he feels it - your cunt throbbing again, dripping relentlessly - and bares his sharp teeth in a sneer, watching your glimmering, dopey eyes.

His grip on your hip strengthens, the arm that loops around your back to grasp your hair tenses, and he rises to his feet only to drop you unceremoniously onto the stone surface behind you.

“Gods,” he growls, slows his ministrations, and you savor every excessive inch of his, so evident now your cunt is hot and swollen from the long wait, from the incessant grinding. “I would keep you on my cock from sunrise to nightfall.”

He holds onto your hips, forcing them down against the table so that you don’t slide away from his calculated, powerful pushes, and watches his shaft disappear within you attentively.

“I would keep you on it,” he licks his lips, “at tea with my sister,” he meets your eyes again, after appreciating the uncoordinated bouncing of your breasts.

“On my morning flights,” he continues, lowering himself to hover above you, a hand pressed next to your head. “And I would carry you, and display you on my hard cock, all over this castle.”

He picks up his brutish pace again and you gasp and whine unabashedly, and new tears spill from your unfocused eyes, and your bottom lip quivers. Such is the effect of his praise.

“What’s that now, huh?” he coos, forcing a little sob from you, but you are unable to communicate. Instead, you part your lips and plead with big, wet eyes.

He lets go of your hip to support himself fully on his forearms, hovering a bit closer now. You can feel his warmth, now, you can scent his luscious exertion.

His nose brushes lightly against your own, just beyond reach, and you can’t avoid bending your back, tilting your chin, or your tongue poking out between your teeth, desperate for a taste.

His eye darkens significantly and he tuts in feigned disappointment.

“Needy little thing,” he murmurs, only to plunge his soft tongue right where you yearned for it.

His kisses are supple and sloppy and not enough to sate you. When he pulls away and you whine in agony, he lets his drool slide down his tongue and onto yours. And the debauchery of the act drives pathetic moans from your lips and desperate rolls of your hips.

Above you, your Prince moans and hisses, then plunges himself against your sweetest spot with renewed, unstoppable vigor. And yet again you cry pathetically, eyes crossing and mouth hanging open, tits flying and slapping, cunt gushing and thrumming.

“I fucking love it when you get like this,” your Prince grunts viciously behind gritted teeth, shoving his girthy length in and out without mercy for your sanity.

“Wet,” his hand lowers to grope your plump bottom, “hot,” he forces you against his unforgiving plows, “utterly dimwitted for your Prince’s cock.”

He loves to debase you in this way, and the response you manage is a string of blabbering, dimwitted pleas.

“If I didn’t know any better,” he grunts again, panting above you as his crazed movements and your lascivious reactions burn his muscular body, “I’d think you’re falling in love with it.”

“Oh, I am!” you yelp, long and loud, mind entirely lost in the bliss he fucks into you. “I love it… I love my Prince’s cock,” you whimper timidly against his lips and he angles his cock to bully that spongy, swollen button of yours.

“Yeeess,” you moan again. “There, there,” you beg with your cries and beseeching eyes.

You come on a scream that reverberates through the tall, stony walls of the Small Council room. And though your walls contract viciously, your Prince pushes through them determinedly, driving you to an immediate third peak that absolutely floods your cunt before he even dumps his hot seed inside you. 

You come on his cock long and hard, and you come still when he too finishes. And when he drops his weight onto you, finally, and his head thumps against the table next to yours, your cunt still flutters from the sensorial memory of the onslaught it endured.

Your skin is impossibly hot and sweaty, and your body impossibly exhausted.

And yet.

“Tonight,” your Prince starts after long moments of silence, raising his head only to meet your eyes, “we will hold a private audience for the King.”

Your body shivers cold, your eyes bulge out, but your cunt contracts around him meekly.

He watches you closely, with his eye delighted and a wide grin, malicious. 

“I want you just like this,” he warns, taking your jaw in a firm grasp, “on your best behavior.”

He loves to debase you, and you love to serve him.

[slutouttanowhere]

Pairing: Randy Orton x Mavis Pete x LA Knight

a/n: I am coming to y’all in the midnight hour lol it’s literally 3am, and yet again I so desperately want to post more of this story. So, if y’all didn’t know Sheamus is 1. Going by his real name Stephen instead of his in ring name. 2. He has a fitness YouTube channel called Celtic Warrior Workouts, I highly recommend those even if you’re not a fitness person, it’s a pretty interesting yt channel ft wwe superstars. This part of the story was inspired by three episodes of Celtic Warrior Workouts one of which featured the Browling Brutes, an episode that ft Bayley, and an episode that ft Austin Theory. Um also, I guess I’ve created a Sheamus x Austin Theory feud???

⏮️ Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Chapter 3

It was an early Sunday morning. While this wasn't my designated gym day, I typically planned on Wednesday's; however, I made an exception. That being Stephen practically begged me to come film for his YouTube channel. I originally told him that we would be doing something simple like weight training, but unfortunately for him I got my days mixed up. When I walked into the gym, he’s already there with his camera crew, and when he looked up from his phone I was met with a warm reception. I dropped my gym bag, and leaped into Stephen’s large muscular arms. He squeezed me in a tight bear hug, it wasn’t so tight that it would hurt me, but enough to let me know he genuinely missed me. “Petey!” He shouted as he gently put me back on my feet, I let out a squeal at the mention of the nickname he adorned me with long ago. 

“Sorry I’m late, like, at the last minute I couldn’t find my gym shoes. Then I found them by the end of the bed, I guess you could say they…sneaked away.” I looked at Stephen expectantly, he rolled his eyes, but didn’t fight the smile that crept onto his lips. 

He playfully shoved me out the way, signaling to the camera guy, “Dork.” He quickly shot at me before pivoting towards the camera to do his intro. “Today we have a special guest, whom I've been trying to get to come aboard for a while. Well today we finally got her, and boy is she a bit bubbly today. Ladies and gentlemen, Thee Hot Girl Mavis Pete, aka Texas Pete, yes like the hot sauce, aka Money Makin Mavis.” He side stepped to make some room for me to slide into frame, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, and giving me another squeeze.

“Ayee wassup everybody, it’s your Hot Girl Coach here.” The grin on my lips stretched from ear to ear, bouncing on my toes, and blew a kiss to the camera. 

“Alright, alright, I see you’re ready to get going. But first, what’s the most embarrassing thing in your playlist?” He asked, it didn’t take long for me to think about it, I slapped my palm to my face. My cheeks warmed up, I pressed my lips together trying to contain my composure.

“Gosh, you’re really asking me that?” A chagrin expression etched across my face, I wrap my arms around my midsection hugging myself. 

“Aw c’mon you watch the channel, or well you better be watching the channel.” Stephen playfully bumped my shoulder. 

“Ugh, fine, I listen to you guys' theme songs. Right now Cody’s, Punk’s old Killswitch Engage one, and John Cena’s are in rotation, especially when I work out.” I shrugged my shoulders, suddenly feeling shy under the scrutiny of the camera lens. Working in front of a camera while out of character felt odd to say the least. Stephen didn't make a huge deal out of it, he looked down at me with a grin, but quickly moved on. 

He clapped his hands then pointed to me, I perked up like a puppy, the smile growing across my lips showing my teeth. “What are we calling this work out?” He asked, my eyebrows shot up in surprise, I didn’t know I got to name the workout. 

My brain scrambled for a clever answer, “Petey’s Poper?” I rushed out, which revived a deep chuckle from Stephen. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder, which turned into a playful headlock. To his demise he let loose on his grip which I pulled out of, and I turned it into an arm lock. 

“Oh shite! Why are you so strong? Jesus, let me go.” He cried out, not willing to give up yet, I tightened my hold. 

“Tap! Tap out Sheamo.” I laughed evilly, without hesitation he reached around, and tapped his shoulder desperately. When I was in my developmental days, sometimes Sheamus would come train with the guys, but I would weasel my way to the front, eager to train with the strongest talent. I’ve had his respect ever since then, and even in horseplay he doesn’t take me lightly. 

“Now that I’ve got my arm back, let’s go do a bit.” When he made his way over to the weights, I paused, looking at him sheepishly. When he realized I wasn’t talking, he looked up at me, upon seeing the expression on my face, he rolled his eyes. “What now?” His eye squinting, a knowing look in his eyes, and  a hint of a smirk on his lips. “I know when you’re up to bullshite Petey.” 

I took a half step back, he faked a punch at me, but I dodged away. “Listen, listen, listen. Don’t hate me but…today is Pilates day.” I whispered towards the end, his eyebrows shot up, and his head fell back dramatically, I turned to the camera, “Sheamus is known for being quite the primadonna guys.” I mumbled into the mic attached to my tank top, he shot me a glare, and I threw my hands up in defense. 

“Mavis, please tell me you’re joking?” He groaned, regret already morphing onto his face, and for a second I thought he was going to cry. I tried to hold in my laughter, I did feel bad, only a tiny bit. 

“Sheamus…you lift men, three times my size, and beat them on their chest, surely you can handle this. I believe in you fella!” I playfully chopped him across the chest, but he was not amused. I repeatedly chopped him, increasing my strength, still not hitting him nearly as hard as I could have. I knew he could take it, after the fifth one he finally caved. 

He chortled, “Fine, ugh, is that why you picked this gym?” He asked, watching me closely.

I bursted out a breath of laughter, “No! I genuinely thought today was my heavy day, you know I love you. I’d never put you through hell on purpose.” I said through giggles, he held the glass door open for me as we entered the opposite side of the gym with all the pilates machines.Which for  the most part was deserted with the exception of an employee changing the trash. 

“For the record, I’m complaining so much because I’ve seen Petey’s Pilaties workouts, and she tells me how much they hurt. Everyone has a different kind of muscular strength, and I highly doubt my body is ready for this at all.” Stephen explained, I rolled my lips inward, nodding my head in agreement, and placing a hand on his shoulder. I smiled up at him sweetly, from my peripheral I caught Austin Theory lingering, but I turned my back to him. He asked me out on a date two weeks ago. When I rejected him, that somehow made him more persistent, and for some reason delusional in believing he would wear me down enough to eventually say yes to him. 

“Any who, we’re gonna start with some stretches, and warm up, because god knows you’re gonna need it.” 

“Ha ha.” Stephen laughed humorlessly, and let me pull him by the arm over to an open area meant for yoga, and stretching. “So, we’re gonna do some toe touches, that’s gonna pull our hammies–

“Hamstrings.” He clarified for the viewers, a small smirk on his lips, then nodded to me, allowing me to continue.

“Mmhm, and then we’re gonna do some sumo squats, that’s gonna stretch the inner thighs, but the main goal is to loosen up your hips. Now me, I’ve been doing these for almost a year, so my body is used to getting that low. But please don’t hurt yourself babes, get as low as you can go comfortably. I don’t suggest forcing it.” As I explained, Stephen listened intently, and watched as I demonstrated each stretch for him. “I love how you’re always open to learning something new.” I laughed lightly, our friendship is so special to me, Stephen is one of my friends that just gets it.

“I love learning, in all of my 40 years–

“Damn you’re 40?” I didn’t mean to outburst, but I was truly baffled by this revelation. He took a pregnant pause, I think the realization just hit him too. 

“Yes…what are ya tryin tah say?” A grin growing on his lips, he watched me with a weary glance.

“Like where did the time go? I feel like it was just yesterday I was watching you for the first time, that means I’m getting older too.” I wanted to cry, I could feel myself getting choked up, and it didn’t help the way he peered at me. His discernment often filled in the blanks of what I wouldn't say out loud. Damn him being kind, and empathetic. 

“I’m okay, I’m okay. Whew, got a little heavy, but don’t think you’re getting out of this workout! Petey's Popper workout.” I clapped my hands together, and dropped into a squat popping my ass back. Anything to shake off those spiraling thoughts. 

“I hope twerking isn’t part of the warm up.” 

“Baby! You ain’t ready for that.” I said, whipping my coils, and winking into the camera. Stephen was rendered speechless, instead of trying to speak, he gave up completely, and just dropped into the sumo squats. I shrugged my shoulders, dropping down to join him, staring him right in his eyes, and just like that we both burst out into laughter. 

“Jesus, can you not stare into my soul?” Stephen stood from his squatting position, I mirrored his movements coming up the same time he did. 

“Sorry.” I giggled, then moved into the next stretch, and he tried his best to copy my form. 

“Weirdo.” He mumbled, shaking his head, but going back into his focused head space. We finished up the warm up then moved to the first round, five minutes in Stephen’s face is cherry red. Both our shirts were off, and a layer of sweat covered his face. Me being the only one conditioned Pilates, it would take a bit more work to get me to really sweat. It wasn’t until the last round that I actually started to feel my glutes, and thighs burn. 

“Agh, fuck that burns.” I cried out as my muscles finally came to a rest after I finished the set. Stephen a few seconds behind me looked more distraught than I did, he always gave it his best no matter how much it may have hurt. Even in the ring he doesn't give up easily, and that translates into his workout routines. 

“Jesus Christ, why does it hurt more after the fact?” We both crawled to the ground rolling onto our sides, we both took a moment to catch our breaths before either of us spoke again. 

“Alright last thing, what’s your favorite cheat meal?” 

“So I like to eat a lot, but I also like to stay in shape so I only eat one cheat meal a month. I throw all the calorie counting out the window, I’m consuming all the sugar I want, and I know we both have a really bad sweet tooth. So I’ll do chicken tenders, fries with chili cheese, and an Olliepop. Then I’ll have ice cream and a brownie, with caramel syrup. And sleep like a baby.” When it comes to eating, make no mistake about it, I can eat a man out of their house, and home.

 Stephen chuckled, deeply wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “Yea I know your love for chicken tenders, it’s like your comfort food.” Patting me on the head with his other hand, he closed out the video, and then cut the camera. 

“Shit I’m tired, and hungry, wanna go out to eat?” I offered as we were walking out of the Pilates room. Before he had a chance to answer, Austin butted into our conversation, and of course Grayson wasn’t too far behind him. 

“Of course baby girl, my treat. Anywhere you wanna go ya boy is paying.” A grin spread across his lips as he spoke ever so arrogantly. His eyes shamelessly getting an eyefull of my body, making sure to slow up at my exposed thighs. Stephen visibly grimaced at the two younger men, Austin in particular got under the Irish brutes skin effortlessly. I’ve heard about the countless altercations they’ve gotten into backstage, and on more than a few occasions Austin started the arguments. 

“What’s crazy is that you really are cute.” I shifted my weight from one hip to the other, I let Austin soak up my compliment, because it was true. I did find Austin physically attractive, and maybe I would let him hit one day if he could prove that he can keep a secret. Grayson slapped his bestie on the shoulder, already giddy, that tiny bit of attention enough to make them excited. 

“But you’re cuter when you’re not talking.” 

“I bet, but let’s be honest, you’re just more interested in tryna be someone’s sugar baby.” 

Stephen pushed past me getting up in Austin’s face, Grayson took a step forward ready to back his friend up if necessary. While Austin is in great shape, Stephen wasn’t just a hunk of muscle. He didn’t take disrespect, to women especially, lightly at all. “Better watch that smart arse mouth of yours.” He warned, I was taken aback by his domineering tone, his eyes darkened, and his hands balled into fist. I didn’t realize how serious the heat between the two was until now, and Austin wasn’t backing down, kudos to him though. 

“Man, you ain’t  nothing, but talk. I’m not even surprised you got in my business this time, I see the way you look at Mavis, just admit it bro. You want a piece just like everyone else.” Before Austin could take the next breath, Stephen snatched Austin up by his shirt in a tight grip. His breathing heavy, I coughed trying to catch my breath from choking on my spit. There is nothing that could have prepared me for this, but I tried to gather myself. 

Austin didn't seem phased, he was satisfied with his work, but he topped it off with a cheshire grin. Stephen’s words came out in a growl, “One of these days, you’re gonna cash a check you’re arse can’t cash.” Stephen had let him go, but not before he shoved him, Austin grinned, but was quick to shove him back. 

“Oh my god, okay, okay. Calm down, he’s not worth it, Sheamo.” I quickly stepped between them, pressing my hands to his chest, I could feel his heart beating wildly underneath my palms.

“See man, ya always take it too far, shame on you.” Grayson clicked his tongue, scolding their older peer. Austin chuckled deeply, I looked up to Stephen, he tore his gaze away from the two idiots to me. 

“You good?” 

“I’m fine.” He forced out, his lips pressed together, and his eyebrows drawn. He was not fine. I turned to Austin, and Grayson who had put some space between us. Smart move on their part, because I had no doubt Stephen would take on both of them in the mood he was in. 

“Can y’all just like, get fucking lost or something?” I turned to face them, I didn’t care to waste anymore energy on them, and I definitely didn’t want the situation to blow up anymore than it already was. I could already see Hunter’s facial expression in the back of my mind when he found out I was in the middle of yet another incident between superstars. Thankfully Austin was bored now, and decided to give up. He blew me a kiss as he walked away laughing like a badass toddler. 

“Hey man what the hell?” I slapped his shoulder, his eyebrows shot up, shocked that I  reprimanded him. 

“He’s a jerk Mavis, he’s always being a tool.” 

“Yes, and?” It was easy for me to dismiss idiots like Austin, guys are always trying to press me, it came with the gig. 

“And, he always talks about you like you’re just something to check off a box. Women aren’t objects, you know how I feel about that, I wasn’t just gonna stand by, and let him disrespect you.” Stephen was an Angel in my eyes, he could do no wrong, and if anything this just validated that even more. He spoke passionately, his hands on his hips, and his gaze held mine. 

“Stephen, you know I love you, but I can’t allow you to get into trouble for me. Then I’d have to deal with your wife scolding me, and sending me paragraphs because your grumpy ass got suspended.” We wandered over to a nearby bench, and sat facing each other. He looked down at his hands, squeezing them close, and opening them as if to release the built up tension in his body. 

“I can’t help it, ya know you’re like a sister to me, a little sister. ” He joked, glancing at me, a crack of a smile on his lips. 

“Jesus, do I even wanna know what you’d look like defending your actual siblings?” I laughed playfully punching him in the shoulder, he smiled sheepishly. His hand scratched the back of his head. 

He chortled, leaning in, “Actually, my record back home is pretty nasty.” He watched the expression on my face morph from confusion to a look of interest. Letting out a spout of boisterous laughter, his hand fell to his stomach, holding himself. 

“Say whattt?” I gasped, I’m not totally surprised, but he’s never told me this. I felt like I was just told the biggest secret, which is a rare moment. Stephen is the kind of guy you could be knowing for years and not find out he’s a serial killer til he’s standing over you with a knife. 

“Only Drew really knows the details of that night, but that doesn’t matter right now. Sorry if I gave ya a scare, but something has to be done about that guy..” Stephen’s previous upbeat demeanor tarnished. I’ve never known anyone to get underneath his skin the way Austin did. 

“Don’t worry about him, trust me, Theory is all talk.” I stop up from the bench, Stephen following my lead. The gym was just now starting to get busy as we were leaving, and I’m thankful that we’re done for the day. I don’t really like crowded gyms. 

“So, back to what I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, wanna go get some food?” I offered, we took our time walking through the parking lot, my adrenaline from earlier finally coming down. My body felt the after effects of the workout, I felt heavy like I was carrying another person. 

“Yea, if you don’t mind Drew tagging along? We planned on hanging out today.” Stephen leaned against the inside of my open driver's side door after I hopped in. I threw my things into the passenger side, and started the car, pumping the AC. 

I’m not around Drew much, but since he’s a friend of Stephen’s, I automatically trusted him, “Of Course! I’m gonna head back to the hotel real quick to change, and then we can meet up.” 

“Where do ya wanna go?” He asked, and I wasn’t really sure, I just knew I was hungry. 

“Mmm, you guys can pick. I’m good with whatever right now.” I said abstinently, I was too hungry to make my choice right now, and I knew Stephen would pick a good spot. We said our last goodbyes, and then he let me be on my way. 

After I made it back to the hotel to shower, I changed out of my sweaty gym clothes, and into something more comfortable. I was standing at the elevator waiting, and when it finally opened Randy was on the inside with his head down. He seemed to have been deep in thought, “Look at what the 80s drug in.” I mumbled, his head shot up, when he recognized it was me, and not some asshole stranger his lips curled into a grin. 

“Ohh, someone’s in a zesty mood today, what’s wrong didn’t have your bottle before bed last night?” Randy rebuttal quicker than I expected, and I struggled to repress what I really wanted to say. 

“Know a thing or two about babies don’t you?.” I mumbled, he didn’t find that amusing at all, but willed himself to let out an airy chuckle. 

“Real mature, bringing up the baby mama scandal, you’d think coming from someone who has nothing but rumors surrounding her, she’d show a little empathy.” He spoke as a matter of factly, I pressed my lips together, and exited the elevator in silence. “Speaking of which, I was going to say sorry for the joke I made last night. That’s all it was, a joke, but I didn’t know how much of a sore topic it was for you.” I was walking towards the lobby when he grabbed me by my arm, then let his hand slide down my forearm, and squeezed my hand. I knew I was visibly upset, it was the way his eyes softened when he finally got a good look at me, and the way his demeanor changed. 

“I know.” I tried to speak but the emotions caught me once again like they did earlier. I swallowed it down, and attempted to get through it again, Randy didn’t interject. 

“I know what some of the guys say about me, and I know what they think. That I’m some busy body, that sleeps with all the guys, and if you’re nice enough to her she might keep ya around. The truth of the matter is…I’ve only ever slept with three of the guys on the roster out of all the ones that tried to get with me.” I took a pause to let my words sink in, he did somewhat look shocked by the revelation. I’m not sure what the hell people have been telling him, but I guarantee none of it is true. 

“I’m telling you this, not because I have to justify what I do with my body, but because the next time someone tries to drop some bullshit in your ears, you’ll know the truth. From the source.” Randy doesn’t really engage in gossip, because of that, most people just skip him all together when spreading the rumors around. Now that he’s directly associated with me, people are prone to skip their happy ass’ over to him and say anything to make me look bad. 

He nodded his head, his eyes swept the ground before they found their way back to me. “Shuan said the same thing, that I shouldn’t believe whatever lies people tell me, and that you have your head on your shoulders.” 

I couldn’t help the tiny smile that crept onto my lips. He's another one that doesn’t let people bad mouth me, even if it’s not in front of my face, Shaun was more of a low key guy. Which is one of the reasons we’re still cool, he knew how to keep his chill about us around others, and it was no huge secret that maybe we were something more than friends. If you paid close enough attention. “Mmm sounds like something he’d say.” I mumbled in a soft voice, expressions in Randy’s eyes were unreadable, so I didn’t dwell on it. My phone buzzed, I glanced at it quickly, it was Stephen letting me know that they chose Chipotle for lunch. 

“Off on an adventure again?” Randy drew my attention away from the phone, when I looked up he was wearing a playful smile on his lips. 

“Nothing too big, just grabbing some food with some besties.” I explained vaguely, I couldn't give Randy too much ammunition, that’s something I recently had to learn.

“Mmm, I see. When are you gonna let me break you in, training I mean.”

“That’s right…you are supposed to be my mentor aren’t you? I’m free till the next show this week. I have a hair appointment Thursday, so what about Wednesday?” I offered, I felt his finger twitch, and that’s when I realized he was still holding onto me. My heart pounded in my chest, I wasn’t sure if I should pull away, but by the time I had the thought of doing so, he had already let me go. 

“Hmm, let’s try Saturday, we’ll be back in Florida. That way we can just go at it in the PC, how’s that sound?” He asked, and I’m not sure what it was, but I suddenly got caught in a hypnotic gaze where I couldn’t look away from him. If he would have asked me to bark like a dog, I would have. 

I found the will to verbally respond, “Yea, yea sounds cool to me.” I agreed as briefly as possible, his eyes caught how my fingers fidgeted with the hem of my shit. I’d like to think I hide my twitchyness well, but under the gaze of such observant eyes, it didn’t go unnoticed. 

“Right then, I’ll let you go, I know you can’t stand in one place for too long.” He joked, his lips cracked into a half smile, and watched me as I awkwardly shuffled away from him. Amusement danced in his icy eyes. 

“Yup…see ya later.” I backed away, then turned on my heels heading in the direction of the hotel’s entrance. I let out a much needed breath as I finally got out into the fresh air. As soon as I got into the car I rolled the windows down, and pulled out of the parking lot.

[effielumiere]

The Companion 3

Pairing: Park Jimin x Reader

Genre: Romance, Idol AU, Drama, Comedy (hopefully lol)

Summary: A year after all their world tour was cancelled with the announcement of the pandemic, Jimin goes through a roller coaster of emotions and he can barely his emotions and he's trying so hard to stay happy. Namjoon and Jin suggested to get a puppy when they got drunk but Joon thought a human companion sounded funny to his drunken brain, not knowing that Jimin took his word seriously. When he finally finds the one who's going to be his human emotion companion, he wonders if she's up for it? And most importantly, he wonders how things would play out with him being Park Jimin and her being... well, a fan... an ARMY to be precise.

Warning(s): Fluff. Bit of pandemic talk. Sentences in italics are Korean words translated to English. UNEDITED!

Word count: 2k

A/N: We're back to Y/N's pov. I was supposed to post this on Sunday but I fell asleep too early, my sleep cycle is fcked because of insomnia.

Fun fact: this was supposed to be a hybrid!Jimin fanfic. 👀.... I can turn it into that we still got time i guess.. lemme know what you think, comment down beloowww. Search author_effie on the birdapp.

Sorry it's pretty short. Enjoyyyy

< twopointfive | masterlist | threepointfive >

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I stare at the empty lobby of Hybe waiting as per the instruction of Jimin. It's been two weeks since the trip to the grocery and the last time I saw Jimin, and within that time Jimin and I settled for phone calls and when he had the time, video calls usually before midnight. But little did he know I slept past 3am due to the what seemed to be never ending jetlag.

"Ms. Y/N?" I heard a voice call my name, looking up I see the receptionist bowing. I bow back as I greet her "Good morning,"

"This way please," she says as she leads me to a door guarded by security. She reaches over to the guard who hands her an ID with a black lanyard that she hands to me. It had my picture from my resume and my name in English under the Korean characters, along with my job title, Executive Secretary. If they only knew...

Before entering the elevator, she teaches me how to use the biometrics system to clock in whenever I arrive and to enter the code I'll receive from Jimin. The ride up the elevator was silent and quick, as soon as we arrived at our designated floor she leads me towards another door that had another security guard waiting outside.

"She's Park Jimin's personal assistant," she informs them as they nod and open the door for me. I say my thanks and walk in as quietly as I can. The room was filled thumping, squeaking and loud music playing on the speakers of an English song I didn't recognize, but the voices I definitely recognized. Eyes gazing around the large, somewhat dark room that looked a basketball court inside the building I find seven men singing and dancing to a new song. Their manager walks up to me and greets me with a smile, hand extended to shake my hand.

"Welcome," he smiles bowing his head "First day, right?"

"Yes, it is, " I nod, enthusiastically smiling through my mask "this is amazing," I gesture at the room in awe, he chuckles.

"They wanted a big open space in the building to rehearse and have fun in," he sighs "the basketball hoop was a suggestion of Yoongi and Jimin's."

"It's a good touch," I agreed as I look at the floor that did match a basketball court "At least they could goof around here without having to be watched by the public eye."

"Yes" he nods "and no one but us, gets to hear the new songs" he grins.

"I can't believe it's another English song. They're gonna flip," he chuckles at me last comment.

"Is that what you think how the fans are gonna react?" he asks knowing the answer

"Sir," I began "my jaw dropped the moment I heard it an saw them singing and dancing to it when I walked in, I'm pretty sure they're going to react more than I did."

"Hopefully your jaw won't drop too many times in the next two weeks or so." he smiles

"Oh? Why is that?" I asked surprised

"He didn't tell you yet?" he asks eyebrows furrowed "The music video shoot starts in two days"

I stare at Jimin's manager in surprise, "he could've given me a warning" he smiles.

"As long as you keep doing what you're doing making him happy and smile the way he did a couple of weeks ago," he stares happily at the boys "I think it's us that need a warning. You seem to be the best addition to the team do far. I haven't seen him smile and be talkative for a while before the idea of you came along."

I stare at the boys as well who were making their way towards us, rehearsals finished.

"Ya~, Jimin-ah!" Jin yells at him, he was across the room grabbing his things before heading out direction "Introduce us to your girl." he grins as the other members and their manager snicker at his comment.

"Oh, I'm not Jimin's-" I say hurriedly as Jimin speaks at the same time "Hyung, stop it. She's not-" leaving the other members in splits

"Was there something wrong with what I said?" he playfully asks Namjoon who was laughing "She's a girl and she hangs out with our Jiminie, it made sense right?" he giggles asking for Namjoon's approval who tries holding his laughter in, giving him a thumbs up.

"Ignore them," he sighs defeated, cheeks showing a tinge of pink "they didn't sleep well and they haven't eaten yet. Their blood sugar is probably dropping,"

"Probably" I smile.

"Hey, kid." Yoongi calls out "some of us haven't met her yet" he grins at me.

"Ah," Jimin face palms himself "Right.

"Everyone," he addressed all the staff in the room "this is Y/N, she's my assistant. It's her first day, please be nice to her." They all greet me and I return the greeting bowing at them as I do.

Jimin then turns to me then to his groupmates, "You've already met Taehyung, Jungkook and Namjoon hyung," they wave at me as the other three guys gather in one side and shake their heads.

"I can't believe these kids met her before we did" Yoongi shakes his head dramatically, making Hobi chuckle "Trouble, trouble, trouble,"

"Hobi hyung this is-"

"Y/n-ssi!~" Hobi squeals as he pulls me in for a hug

"-and Y/n-ssi this is-"

"Hobaaaahh~" I squeal with the same enthusiasm as we squeeze each other.

"Ya, move over, Hoba" I hear Yoongi from behind Hoseok and he reluctantly lets me go when Yoongi pulls me in for a brief hug.

"Y/n-ssi, Yoongi hyung." Jimin says behind us and when he let me go Jin was the last one to hug me.

"And that's Jin hyung," Jimin muttered loud enough for us to hear "I still don't understand why I had to formally introduce you all to her, she knows you and you all know her from sneaking in when she and Namjoon hyung had meetings,"

"Because the three of them never really had the chance to talk to her while the calls happened," Joon explained "Something about being shy or busy. Taehyung, Hobi and JK were the only ones that really took the time to join in on my meetings with her, that's why they're familiar with her."

"Was the pantry of the apartment full of food when your arrived?" Jin asked me as he leaned back from the hug but not fully letting go of me yet, "Don't lie."

"It was full," I said trying so hard so that they won't know I was lying.

"You're just as a bad liar as Jungkook is," Yoongi laughs as Jin let's go and Jimin holds my arm and pulling me, but stood behind me as if to hide.

"Ya~, Jiminah!" Jin calls out to him "Be responsible, yeah? You decided to push through with this idea, you better be responsible for her." Jin sounded like a parent scolding their child who unexpectedly brought home a puppy.

"I will..." Jimin shyly whispered behind me, before wrapping his arms around my waist and playfully dragging me to the door and I let him "Let's go~"

"Feed her real food!" Namjoon yells as we made our way out of the room only to hear Jin and Yoongi ask him "What do you mean?" "What did you say?" making Jimin look at me with wide eyes, grabbing my hand and making a run for the elevator laughing.

~~~~~~~

"Hot.. hot!" Jimin breathes through his mouth as he chews the freshly cooked tteokbokki from his bowl, making smoke come from his mouth and into the wind.

"Calm down, Jimin," I chastised "Blow on your food to cool it down, it's not going anywhere" I giggled at how adorable he looked. Half of his cheeks were resting on his face mask while the rest of his head up to his eyebrows were covered by his black beanie. Under his dark green and brown jacket he wore black joggers and a gray sweater that he changed into when we spent time in his apartment before wait until midnight to eat street food at Itaewon. Somewhere behind us were his security personnel undercover, eating but alert.

"Must eat plenty~" he says through a mouthful, covering his mouth then fanning it to cool it down "Delicious~"

I laugh at him as I take another bite. We had ramyeon for dinner and it was obviously not enough, so ended up eating out for samgyupsal and here we are, the third dinner waiting for that dessert, I half hoped dessert was next as I chewed thoughtfully.

Sipping the soup from the cup where his fish cake was he watches me, "Are you enjoying your time here? I know you haven't been able to go out much but I could take you to places you want to visit."

"I'm alright Jiminah," I reassure him "Besides touring around town can wait. I don't really know a lot of places except what I see on the flyers and I'm enjoying my time with you.

What I'm trying to say is, I'd rather spend time with you and the boys than go around town alone." I smile at him as I watch him hand me another serving of tteokbokki and fish cakes. He smiles at me and slowly nods sighing, taking off his mask and putting it in his pocket.

"I believe you, I'll try to find a way to make you visit places," I was about to object but he beat me to it "You can't stop me. I'm your... boss, remember?"

"As true as that is, I hate that Joon called you my boss," I air quoted making him chuckle as he takes a bite out of the fresh, hot tteokbokki "I swear to God, Jiminah..." I watch him breath out the hot air from his food making him look like an adorable little dragon. Leaning forward, I wipe a tissue that was in between us on the table on the corner of his lips where the sauce was dripping and he stopped chewing as I gently wiped, puppy eyes as he watched me.

"You're like a baby eating your food," I smiled "happy, but messy"

"That's what happens when the food is delicious~" he sings happily.

"When was the last time you ate out like this?" I asked "A pretty long while, we've been to busy then the pandemic happened. I didn't really feel like leaving the dorm." I nod in understanding, no one really felt like leaving their houses up until lately when news of vaccines started popping up.

"Well, at least you got out today"

"All because you're here," he says "if you weren't here, I would probably be at the dorm with the boys waiting for time to pass and watching TV. You make me think a lot lately."

"Not in a bad way, I hope"

"No," he smiles happily "not in a bad way. You make me think of where or what I should do the next time I see you, it makes me active. Which reminds me, you have to join me the day after tomorrow. I need to retouch my rainbow highlights for the music video."

"You didn't tell me about the music video"

"Really?" he asks, midway of taking a bite of his fish cakes "I guess it slipped my mind. But now you know." He chews and smiles at me innocently, "I guess I also have to share my schedule with you, so you know what my plans are." I nod sipping my soup through the cup.

"I promise dessert is next, I just want another round of tteokbokki and fish cakes." he covers his face adorably like he's facing a mini crisis "Would you like another serving?"

Somehow knowing he's not gonna eat another round of tteokbokki without me, I agree to a last serving so he wouldn't eat alone. And just as he promised, we had bingsu before he drove me home to the apartment.

~~~~~

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[daisylincs]

hey! we just wanted to know, in a TOTALLY non-stalkery way of course, if you and Kat are still, you know, okay? because we may or may not follow your AO3 comment exchanges on each other's fics almost as obsessively as we're binging AoS, and we noticed that you haven't commented on one another's things in a long time. of course, you could just both be busy, but you could also be having a fight or... worse, and we'd hate that so bad we can't even begin to describe. in short, it is sending us -

Oh my gosh 🥺🥺🥺😍😍 Anon, that is the sweetest thing I've seen all year! And yes, I'm going to be making that joke for the rest of the week, it's 2021 and it's unbelievable but we can make the most of it, folks. But anyway, back to it: fsklfsgjdhkksdhs, anon, Kat and I are SOOOOO flattered!!

And, dear heart, you don't have to worry at all - except, you know, for our sanities. But that's always in question, no? 😝

Case in point, Kat and I are totally fine - more than fine, actually, lol. She has, in fact, recently acquired MORE material to mock me with, so that's just... great.

You're not wrong that we haven't been commenting on each other's things, though (just so you know, we had a long awwww sesh about how sweet it is that you NOTICED that, ahhhh.) Anyway, there is actually a reason for the comment war - and a pretty good reason, too.

One night in early December, when we were both supposed to be writing our Secret Santas, I told Kat, who had like zero time left before she had to start her Actual Adult Job - "look, if you don't go write right now, I won't comment on another of your things until next year."

Kat... did not go write, and so I, being the stubborn asshole wife that I am, did indeed not comment on a single one of her fics for the rest of 2020.

I have, however, been writing out the comments in the little floaty box on AO3, and saving them to the notes on my phone - I even had this grand plan of posting them all en masse on the first of January and being like, cheers, it's 2021!

Unfortunately, though, life (specifically: my family Zooming till 3am and beyond on the 31st) got in the way, and I haven't been able to read and comment on Kat's two latest fic updates (the last chapter of her Dekesy Roadtrip AU, and her Secret Santa fic, aka, yup, the thing that started this whole mess in the first place.)

And since, as it has been established, I am a stubborn ass, I wanted to post a flood of comments on all her things - so what's going to happen instead of my original grand plan is that I'll post all the comments on this Monday for her to wake up to before her job, as a kind of burst of cheer to say "good luck with 2021!"

(I'll probably ask her to post my comments next Monday, or Sunday evening her time, so I can start my first work week of 2021 with the same zing of happiness. Sound good, @aleksandrachaev?)

So, long story short, dear anon, the wife and I are completely fine 🥺🥺💜 As insane as ever, lol, but fine. For a tiny little bit of proof, here's a snippet of our conversation from last night:

Thanks so much for your incredibly sweet concern (AND COMPLIMENTS!!! ahhhh) it's really made my year. Oh my gosh I'm so sorry But seriously, anon, this is lovely of you, and I hope you'll enjoy the return of Kat And Lily's Comment Craziness on Monday 💜

[dirtydobrik]

a week apart - d.d.

plot: you and david are dating and you’re also a YouTuber. you come up with a video idea of spending a week apart from each other with no communication and make a bet to see who will be better at doing so.

requested: yes!  i received two different requests about essentially the same concept: 1. can u do one where the reader and david see who is better at ignoring the other lol idk of it makes sense but and 2. can u do an imagine where the reader and david have a bet to see who can ignore the other the longest ?? i feel like you might’ve done it before so sorry if u have lol

author’s note: hi! this was requested anonymously so hopefully it was something similar to what you wanted. 

if you want to send in a request for an imagine, send me a message! i am super behind on requests right now but i have a few pieces in progress that i am working on. i am hopefully back to posting daily because i am trying to get caught up. 

word count: 1400

masterlist

"Okay, just hear me out," you started and David rolled his eyes. He knew you had a crazy idea for your next video and he had a feeling he wouldn't like it. "What if we tried to spend a week without each other?"

"Babe, why on Earth would I agree to that?" David questioned, grabbing your hand and pulling you on to the couch next to him.

"I think it'll be an interesting video. You and Jason talked about doing something similar on the podcast a while back and I think we should try it." You gave him a small pout and puppy dog eyes that he couldn't say no to.

"Fine. When do you want to start?" he asked.

"Right now," you stated, like it was obvious.

"But you promised you'd be my date to the movie premiere on Thursday," David reminded you, and you sighed. You had agreed to do that and it was only Tuesday.

"Okay. We'll start on Sunday."

The week passed by slowly and David secretly hoped you would have forgotten about your video idea. But on Sunday morning, you rolled over to face David since you spent the night at his house.

"Good morning," he mumbled, leaning in and giving you a kiss.

"Morning, bub," you smiled, curling into him to cuddle for a few minutes.

"What do you want to do today? I got a good amount content yesterday so I don't need to film."

"Did you forget about my video? We're starting today," you smirked and David let out a groan.

"No, I didn't forget. I was just hoping you would forget."

"Absolutely not," you said as your fingers ruffled his messy hair.

You got out of bed and took a quick shower before making breakfast, David joining you in the kitchen after his shower. You set your camera up to introduce the video.

"Hi guys, welcome back to my channel. Today's video is a little bit different, it's going to be vlog style. David and I are going to try and see if we can ignore each other for an entire week," you started, before leaning in closer to the camera and dropping your voice into a low whisper, "In case you guys didn't know I'm dating David Dobrik."

"I am completely against this idea," David added, but you brushed him off.

"Anyways, let's go over the rules. Number one, no communication of any kind. This means no calls, no texts, no DMs, and no trying to talk to each other through other people. Like we have Natalie pass messages for the other to get. Number two, we can't hang out together or be seen in the same place together. And number three, if an emergency happens, we have a code to send to know that it's serious and we call a pause," you explained, David pouting the entire time.

"Do we have to do this?" he groaned, and you nodded.

"Oh, and also, we aren't telling anyone that we're doing this challenge so hopefully they freak out and think we broke up so I get some good clickbait," you chuckled and David rolled his eyes.

"Should we make this a bet?" David asked, needing motivation to participate in this video.

"Sure. The loser has to give the winner twenty thousand dollars, and the winner gets to plan date nights for a month." You pulled your phone out to check the time, 12:48pm. "Okay, guys. Starting now, David and I can't interact with each other for a week. Bye, bub, see you on Sunday," you said, waving goodbye to him before turning your camera off to say a real goodbye to him.

You wrapped your arms around him and stood on your toes to give him a kiss. "Miss you already," he whispered, hugging you tightly.

"I love you. See you soon." You gave him another kiss before heading out to your car and driving away.

"Okay guys, I just got to my apartment and usually I send Dave a text that I made it home safely, but I can't do that. So David if you're watching this, I'm home," you said into your camera, and you were surprised that David hadn't lost already. He was ridiculously clingy and hated being away from you.

The next time you took you camera out was at 3am. "Guys, it's 3am and I can’t sleep because I don’t have David to cuddle with," you pouted. "I'm starting to regret wanting to do this and it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. How am I going to do this for a whole week?"

On Monday you went out to brunch with Corinna and then shopping with Carly that afternoon, and you knew David was busy on set all day, so you didn’t really have time to miss him. But around dinner time, you wished you could bring him dinner and talk to him about your day. And again, you had trouble falling asleep because you had gotten so comfortable cuddling with David.

Tuesday went by similar to Monday. You hung out with a few of the girls and went hiking with Jeff, knowing David was busy and wouldn't have been able to talk to you all day anyways.

Wednesday was when fans started asking questions about your relationship. They knew both of you were in LA but you hadn't been seen together in a few days and it was starting to worry them. A few of your friends saw the tweets about it and asked you questions, but you lied and said you two were just busy. They were suspicious but not to the point where they were worried. They knew the fans spread rumors like wildfire.

Early Thursday morning was when you heard a knock on the door to your apartment. It was just after 2am so you grabbed your camera, assuming it was David. And sure enough, he was standing in the hallway, awkwardly shifting his weight from foot to foot as he swayed. You swung the door open, David tackling you into a tight hug and peppering your face with kissed.

"I missed you so much, baby," he murmured between kisses.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, pointing the camera at him. "It's the middle of the night and we're only halfway through the week."

"I couldn't do it. I missed you too much," David confessed, holding his hands up in a surrender.

"I missed you, too," you said, turning the camera off and pulling David into your bedroom.

You woke up with David next to you and let out a sigh of relief as you curled up next to him.

After getting breakfast and catching up on the last few days, you took your camera out to record the ending of the video. "So, as you guys just saw, David was the first to crack. What do you have to say for yourself, babe?"

"I admit defeat. I guess I just can’t stay away from my girl for too long," he said and you blushed at his words.

"What did you learn from this challenge? Because I learned that I can't fall asleep with you when I know you're in LA."

"I learned that it's impossibly hard to go out of my way to not talk to you. Like anytime something happened and my first instinct was to call or text you I had to tell myself that I couldn't do it. It got to the point where I made a note in my phone of things I wanted to tell you," he rambled and then suddenly stopped, like he had just processed what you said. "Wait, you can't sleep without me?" he asked and you nodded.

"No, I've gotten so used to cuddling with you and falling asleep next to you that I can't do it anymore."

"Aw, someone's whipped for their boyfriend," David teased.

"Says the one who came over in the middle of the night," you retorted with a sarcastic smile. "By the way, I believe you owe me, you know, since you lost the bet."

"Isn't getting my love and affection and multiple FaceTimes a day enough?" David whined.

"Nope." You shook your head, before leaning over and giving him a quick peck. "You still owe me twenty thousand dollars. Getting your love and affection and FaceTimes back are just an added bonus."

[swampgallows]

blizzcon recap, basically a big stream of consciousness text dump while i still remember things and i will make a refined post later i think

Thursday morning I went to bed around 3am, woke up at 630am, and then again at 730am to board my 840am train bound for anaheim. I had originally intended to drive myself to the con but decided against it, as I didn’t want to pay $60 for parking nor endure the stress of driving on the freeway solo for the first time. 

I took a lyft to my hotel and met up with sun​ (who gave me kandi!!!) and their husband aaron, then we went to claim our badges and make some store purchases.

after feverishly texting reglei we caught sight of each other in line, got tired of waiting, then made our way to disneyland. there we met up with zach and kept missing fitze by mere moments; finally caught fitze & friends at the river belle terrace (a place i have never been in before because despite my many years of being a passholder, there was never a reason or time for a sit-down restaurant experience at disney, so when i opened the door i IMMEDIATELY closed it thinking i was intruding on a private dinner event LMAO). we knocked out everything on the western side of the park (including a fry-filled splash mountain) and got some good pics. the ride on indy was one of the best i’ve had in years: no stalling, great speed, and tons of jerks that nearly threw me out of the jeep hell yeah. perce made it to disneyland in the evening and we got to enjoy space mountain, star tours, a second round of pirates, a VERY invigorated spin on the teacups, then left at closing. zach generously dropped us all off at our individual hotels before heading out himself.

around 2am i woke up convulsing with an anxiety attack and took half a med. i was scared i had woken up sun and aaron but they were coincidentally also awake. after some talking and goofing off with them we made the very informed decision to postmates some del taco to the hotel at 3am. my god was it worth it. i had selected the “fries and secret sauce” option, unaware that these ingredients were not sides, but components to be added to the inside of the burrito. wasn’t bad!

7am wake up for day 1 of the con. met for “breakfast” with perce and reg at the hilton starbucks, which said that they accepted rewards but then didn’t :| i sincerely dont even remember what we did first as everything in the con was so purely awesome and overwhelming. The opening ceremony brought tears to my eyes, of course, as it displayed “WELCOME HOME” on every stage. We mostly just traveled around the con, taking pics, learning the layout, and mentally digesting everything. We attended the VA panel in the early afternoon which was a GREAT decision (no spoilers if you haven’t watched the virtual ticket stream yet!!!) and then made our way to the main stage, where we parked for a good 5-6 hours for the WoW and HotS “What’s next?” panels, then the following WC3 reforged insight panel and, finally, the entire community night. i really want to make sure i grab clips of some of darin de paul’s mcing that night because the man was sawing at my heartstrings like a viola bow. i got very close to crying many times. have no fear put on another amazing performance—this time a wow track called “war mode”—and won the talent contest! we had the privilege of running into them after the performance to congratulate and get some pics w them. i also met up with hinz who i haven’t seen in forever and we got to talk about his brewing and the con! had blaze pizza for dinner then passed out.

breakfast at coco’s for day 2 of the con, this time with sun and aaron in tow. all i needed was hot cocoa and a slice of dark chocolate chip cheese pie. it was...so goddamn good. we started off the con with the warcraft sounds panel featuring the zone of drustvar and concluded with some great performances by david arkenstone and the tavern band. they performed the zandalari zocalo music and bloodsail, an old favorite! we puttered around the darkmoon faire until the build-a-panel featuring zone design in warcraft but couldn’t hear anything due to the acoustics of the stage, so i left to pick up my blink purchases with fitze. there i met a girl wearing kandi and traded with her; she gave me a rubber bracelet from a podcast she’d attended called ‘pwncast’ that reads ‘we bow to no one’ which is VERY garrosh. other than that we had a grand old time of waiting in a line we didnt have to wait in and then made our way back for the warcraft Q&A. the second i saw metzen i immediately screamed with awe and terror and then sobbed into my lap. perce and reg comforted me, and the rest of the panel was fairly uneventful. I think i was the one human being who shouted ‘woo!’ at the scott johnson’s mention of his interviews with metzen, lol. we were waiting for meggo to have a chance to ask her question but she didn’t get the opportunity :(

after the q&a we went over to the unofficial tumblr meetup organized by questifer which was a huge privilege and a lot of fun, and we even made some new friends. i spilled my spaghetti about garrosh to actual blizzard quest developers and im very embarrassed that i did. lmao. i really liked the casual atmosphere of just chilling on the floor though. fitze had to leave halfway through :( but the quest discussion went on for almost 2 full hours. it was really a humbling opportunity.

by that time, the closing ceremonies were underway. reg and i missed out on the hots finals so we just bummed around the overwatch arena for a bit just to see the thing and catch a few minutes of kristian nairn’s set. again, cool stuff, but nothing i can go nuts to lmao. it’s questing music to me. on our way out of the hots stage i ran into a dude wearing KIKWEARS and gave him kandi!! it was awesome lmao. we spent some ducats at the darkmoon faire, but the real prize was won as we were walking out and scored the literal actual absolute last three available boxes of lucio-ohs!!! mine had a hole punched in it so we ate a bit of it before returning to blaze pizza for dinner again. the cereal tastes like lucky charms to me! it’s very sweet, but good!

sunday morning perce, reg, and i secured a breakfast at dennys. when i went up to pay the check i saw the cashier was wearing a piece of kandi and i had the perfect piece for her, the “short stack” piece with the pancake eraser. she traded me the one piece she was wearing (!) which said ‘insomniac’ (obv haha). i made that kandi a while ago and it feels like it was fate for this moment to arrive. reg and perce and i all parted ways back to our individual hotels. i was just chilling in the lobby when i saw a woman wearing kandi, so i went over and introduced myself. she traded me a piece that said mermaid on it, due to my “mermaid hair” :> we started talking about phat pants and she said her daughters now wear the pairs she used to wear! and the kandi she chose was the “a book for ants” with the miniature bible on it, as she found it appropriate for her halloween “christian protest” where she blasted tchami and malla and had a totem that encouraged ‘sinners’ to dance with her, lol.

i excused myself for the restroom and she invited me to “come back and hang out!” so i did!! and when i returned the group was playing a fun card game called chameleon. and have no fear was playing with them!! daniella, one of the performers from the talent contest (they sang the song about vanilla wow), had also joined us. so i got to play the game with a few members of the group and made some new friends, leigh (who gave me kandi) and jaime/ace, who i talked to about old school raving and kandi for a bit. there was a point where everyone but ace went up to the room for their luggage so it was just the two of us sitting there talking, and a pair of guys came up to us holding some merch. “Do you guys want these? we bought too many loot crates.” i was stunned!! they handed me a shadow plush and a clip-on ganymede to ace.

when they all returned, they were trying to plan what to do next, and i told them i had to grab a lyft and start heading to the train station. leigh offered me a ride there!!! i really felt PLUR for the first time in ages, lmao. we all hugged each other and said our goodbyes.

arriving at the train station, i ran into other blizzcon people and we talked about wow the ENTIRE ride home. for the first leg of the journey it was a super full train and we all had to stand but it was okay. we were all enthusiastically talking about wow with zero awkward pauses or any points of contention. it was so amazing just thriving on each other’s hype. at one point another person on the train said “do you guys play this game or MAKE this game?” because we were talking about it in such detail LOL. we all traded battletags before i had to go. it felt really amazing to be able to just literally talk to strangers about something i love and have such an amazing conversation like that. it felt so awesome to just be connecting to people so deeply all the time. 

im going to try to preserve the memory of being able to connect to people like that, as i came home and felt isolated and disconnected from everything again. i want to keep riding the coattails of this positivity as long as i can so i’m not going to go into the details of that. a lot of us really felt we could come out of our shells; i kept stressing how “safe” blizzcon was; with all of the focus i’ve been making in therapy on vulnerability, connection, isolation, and the need to feel worthy of being loved, i want to keep these memories at the forefront while i try to forge a better future for myself.

i really hope i can go again next year!

[remembermemorablememories]

Saturday, January 5, 2019

post #362

main points:

- oatmeal for breakfast

- practice piano

- wawa lunch from parents on their way back from philly

- moar piano practice

- smash online, getting captain falcon into elite and then inkling snake and mario

- dinner with the family + ben for sheena’s birthday

- smash online to get ganondorf into elite smash

- hang out with trevor josh bryan and chris at trevor’s

- uber (out in the suburbs??) to a bar near by

- hang out at bar/dance floor

- late nite wawa run + the office at trevor’s

- drive home and get gas and pass out at like 3:30~4am

typing this on sunday january 6, 2019

today i:

- woke up around 11:30am and then went downstairs to eat breakfast which was oatmeal + pb + banana. i was home alone cause sheena went to symphony practice and mom/dad went shopping for stuff at home depot/getting haircuts

- i went back upstairs and ordered a new phone case (cause my old one’s crusting). also watched some smash vods of NickC

- went downstairs and practiced piano for like 30 minutes from 1:30-2pm ish. then my parents came home with a wawa sandwich. i asked them to get me a chicken salad club sandwich but they got me a hoagie. oh well :p i didn’t mind too much

then i went back to practicing piano some more. i went over maple leaf rag, deux arabesques, nocturne, and claire de lune (the most). it was nice finally being able to play again after a long long time. i’m hoping to play some more over break. i wanna learn fantaisie impromptu the whole thing. not sure how realistic that is though

- played smash online and finally got my captain falcon into elite smash. then i was kind of scared to play in elite smash in fear of being booted out again (cause i have like a 33% win record in elite smash). so i decided to just try to get other characters in elite smash LOL. i got in inkling, snake, mario. then tried with roy and marth and sucked and failed. ben and sheena came back from a coloring pot place and then we left around 6:30pm to go to dinner for her birthday!!

- i got to meet ben and talk with him about film stuff, school, etc. he’s a really sharp and motivated high school senior. it’s very admirable how he’s built up a small business for freelancing and it was nice getting to meet him/talk to him. sheena showed me some of his stuff before and the quality is so cinematic and he’s all self taught. not just in film but also music. mad props to that guy

we got dinner at a fancy place (w penn) and i got a filet mignon with two crabcakes. we also had a salad and bread at the beginning i was so full at the end. my stomach was a happy stomach

- we drove home and got back around 9pm. i played smash online for another hour with marth (failing) and then got ganondorf in elite smash. totaling 6 characters in elite :D 

- left the house around 10:30pm to go to trevor’s. met up with trevor bryan josh and chris. they were hanging out in trevor’s basement making some moosic and messing around. we listened to one of their old songs that they made before and it was pretty cool. also meteor josh. they were drinking some coke+rum before going out

- we called an uber around 11:45pm to go to a bar in a nearby town. i’d never been to a bar in the suburbs before. or call an uber in the suburbs. i was surprised we were able to get an uber XL. i talked with josh a bit and learned he had a gf and was doing long distance for the past year

we got to the bar and went in. bryan and trevor got some beer. there was a dance floor on the other side but we first chilled on the bar side. then went to the dance floor to get drinks and then chilled on the dance floor side lounging area. i got some angry orchards cider and josh got a mixed coke and rum thing i think. trevor and bryan got some more beer. chris didn’t want anything. we just kind of hung out for a bit and i talked to josh about how his college experience went the past four years

also trevor and i tried to go to the bathroom at some point but the door to the men’s room was locked. so trevor went to the woman’s bathroom and this really drunk girl came over and wanted to go in. i was waiting outside and she yelled at me like “YOU LOOK LIKE THE GUY ON THE NEWS. YOU’RE THE GUY ON THE NEWS” i was like ???. she went to get her friend then her friend was like “he’s not you’re being racist”

once trevor came out of the bathroom she went in. we still couldn’t get the men’s restroom door unlocked. trevor was saying what if someone died in there cause the door was locked earlier when we first came in to the bar. the drunk girl heard what he said and then started kicking at the men’s restroom door, saying that we should open it if someone died in there. there was also another dude chilling with me and trevor waiting on the bathroom so he was like, you don’t need to kick down the door calm down. she went to the bar to get someone to check it out and i went into the woman’s bathroom to pee

when i got back the bartender unlocked the men’s restroom door and it was empty. someone must’ve just locked it on the way out or something

then we sort of went to the dance floor. chris didn’t really wanna dance. trevor was okay with it after getting enough drinks. bryan josh and i did so we partially migrated and just kind of danced for like 30 minutes. it was a chill time

- we left the bar around 1:45am and then walked to a nearby wawa to get food. i got mac and cheese + chicken fingers. then we called two separate ubers cause we couldn’t get an uber XL. we watched an episode of the office called crime aid while eating our food and then we left around 3am

i stopped by a gas station to fill it up with a few gallons of gas cause my parents wanted me to fill it up just a bit

- got home around 3:30am and went to sleep at 4am

the end

whew what a long day

also HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHEENA

[thedivinefish]

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My 6 year old grand daughter Charlie was visiting this past Sunday and was petting our new shiny kitten Lily. Charlie, looked up at me and said, “Grampa, Lily is almost 100 percent cute.”  Wow, as I thought for a minute; is a kitten lacking in cuteness? Truly this was a meeting of the minds and quite the conundrum.  But as funny as it was to hear, I took it from spirit that there is always room for improvements and we’re all striving to improve - so just know that.  You must stay out of perfection or I’m not doing this, that, or the other thing until the timing is 100 percent.  The Wright brothers would have never flown if they continued to work until it was all perfect.  I’d have never written and published 9 books if I held tight to 100% perfection.  For today... strive towards your goals, stretch, dream and accomplish.

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Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

 Tampa Office Sessions

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions Friday October 16th from 10am-4pm  403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS 

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online.   3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa ☎️ (813) 999-1874 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[divinefishingtips]

TGIWednesday and joining tonight's global prayer gathering

TGIWednesday News

My 6 year old grand daughter Charlie was visiting this past Sunday and was petting our new shiny kitten Lily. Charlie, looked up at me and said, “Grampa, Lily is almost 100 percent cute.”  Wow, as I thought for a minute; is a kitten lacking in cuteness? Truly this was a meeting of the minds and quite the conundrum.  But as funny as it was to hear, I took it from spirit that there is always room for improvements and we’re all striving to improve - so just know that.  You must stay out of perfection or I’m not doing this, that, or the other thing until the timing is 100 percent.  The Wright brothers would have never flown if they continued to work until it was all perfect.  I’d have never written and published 9 books if I held tight to 100% perfection.  For today... strive towards your goals, stretch, dream and accomplish.

Only 1 WEEK LEFT to take advantage of this month's DISCOUNT AND FREE BONUS!  Receive 20% OFF ALL DIGITAL EBOOKS through Wed. Sept 30th USE THIS LINK and go through to Checkout page OR type in code FISHSCHOOL   For those that are looking to become better healers, empathic without the pain and more intuitive, Click here for our online Mastery course in My Liquid Fish® Change made simple®?  And also through Wed. Sept 30th, our special MyBeliefWorks™ for Clearing Educational Blocks MP3 will be 20% OFF OR you can GET IT FREE when you sign up for either the Mastery or Practitioner Certification Course this month.   

TGIWednesday Download

~ COMFORT IN MEETINGS ~ (Zoom or in-person) Today I will know when to speak and when to remain silent.  I believe, think, know and feel that I can be comfortable in meetings.  I am ready, willing and able to partake in meetings without nervousness, or any misspoken words. I know, when, where, how and why to stay centered, grounded, focused and I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.  

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.  

 LAST CALL!! When you sign up for either the Mastery or Practitioner Certification Course by Sept 30th you'll GET THIS FREE! MyBeliefWorks™ for Clearing Educational Blocks and Traumas MP3/PDF   

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library. 

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Clearings Creative Spark Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality *MySwitchWorks Videos

Monthly LIVE Zoom Event

WED. SEPTEMBER 23rd LIVE CALL 7:30pm-8pm Register to attend live & get replay - $22 https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/sept-switches-event

===================

Theme for September: Teaching, learning, meetings, speaking, studying...

Do you need help in un-learning the following?: laziness, overwhelm, judgment, fear, distrust, overeating, under exercising...

Do you need help learning?: Patience, tolerance, perseverance, stick to it attitude, courage, fearlessness, endurance, resilience, how to give and accept love...

Submit your Top 3 to support@jimmymackhealing.com

Sign Up Now - $22

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

JOIN ME TONIGHT FOR THIS SPECIAL HEALING EVENT 7:30pm Eastern The Global Gathering

 with host Dipal Shah. The Gathering is an online spiritual event in which multiple healers, lightworkers, catalysts and spiritual teachers come together as ONE to support humanity by anchoring love, light, joy, wellness and optimism.  Free to Register & Watch Online TONIGHT at 7:30pm ET

For nearly a decade, more than 6 million people have been attending the You Wealth Revolution and the ALL NEW Global Awakening Project™ online event, starting this month, is going to impact millions more!  Join nearly 1 million people who will experience a ‘high vibration’ energy field as 40+ top teachers, healers, and scientists (including myself in November) will reveal their #1 quantum energy activations to instantly help YOU and  Get Your '639 Hz Abundance & Harmony Kit™' Gift + The Global Awakening Project™ LIVE Event Access — FREE Register here & Get Your Free Gift!

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack SEPTEMBER 23rd "Today when I least expect it, a miracle will occur. I will experience deja vu, time traveling, mystical, magical experiences that I will count on beyond all knowing that for this rare moment in time, I have been given a clear sign."

From the Fish Box

Q&A WITH JIMMY:  

Q) "Dear Jimmy, I listened to a recording of a recent show and you offered for us to write in regarding layoffs due to Covid. It is time to reinvent myself!  I am giving you a little background because this is the first time I don't have another new great thing I am excited about. Usually I have an idea and run with it. I have been waiting for direction on my new path. I have considered some receptionist type positions but not with great enthusiasm I must say.  Is it too broad of a question to ask for guidance here? Do I need to write back with specific job options? Thanks for all you do and for your help." - Nancy A)  "Correct, specific options work best……………too open ended in this email lol If someone asks, engineering, law or medicine? We can tell them with strong certainty what could be best." - Jimmy UPDATE: "Thank you so much Jimmy for your quick response! Just after sending my email to you, I was asked to submit my resume for a leasing agent position for a local apartment complex. (a close relative is the exec there, she is the one who offered it up.) Any feedback for this?." - Nancy

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

NEW VIDEO FORMAT! WATCH IT LIVE  TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT Watch and Participate (via Comments) during the Live TV Show streamed on Goldylocks Productions YouTube Channel, Facebook Page and Periscope.   NOTE: You will need to log into your YouTube (Google) or Facebook accounts to comment. If you watch the Live show from any other location other than the 3 listed below, your comments will not be seen by the Show Host or Producer. https://www.facebook.com/GoldylocksProductions https://www.pscp.tv/Goldylocks168/follow Or watch all live and replays in the archives here: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Instructions for the VIEWERS: 1.    One reading/message per person. The first question posted will be answered, so please think about your question carefully before posting it.  2.    If you want a longer and more detailed message, please book an appointment with the Show Host.  3.    Spirit does come through and gives messages that can apply to many, not just the person asking the question. 4.    It is not required nor should be expected that every question or comment will be addressed by the Show Host. 5.    If you have any issues with the show host or show format, please contact the Show Producer... not the Show Host. 6.    Contact the Show Producer, Rev. Tiffany White Sage Woman via email: goldylocksproductions@hotmail.com Yesterday's Show - Watch the replay here! Special Guest Ayla Murray | Tarot/Angel Cards and intuitive readings https://www.facebook.com/harmonicperspective/   September 29th  Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

October 6th  Psychic Joanne Leo | Numerology/astrology/angel cards reading from the heart www.psychicjoanneleo.com

October 13th Jeremy Riden | Cards and intuitive readings https://divinesparkministries.com/about-jeremy-riden

October 20th  Gosia Lorenz | www.gosialorenz.com

October 27th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

  **Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

 Tampa Office Sessions

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions Friday October 16th from 10am-4pm  403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS 

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online.   3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa ☎️ (813) 999-1874 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[365dailyaffirmations]

TGIWednesday and joining tonight's global prayer gathering

TGIWednesday News

My 6 year old grand daughter Charlie was visiting this past Sunday and was petting our new shiny kitten Lily. Charlie, looked up at me and said, “Grampa, Lily is almost 100 percent cute.”  Wow, as I thought for a minute; is a kitten lacking in cuteness? Truly this was a meeting of the minds and quite the conundrum.  But as funny as it was to hear, I took it from spirit that there is always room for improvements and we’re all striving to improve - so just know that.  You must stay out of perfection or I’m not doing this, that, or the other thing until the timing is 100 percent.  The Wright brothers would have never flown if they continued to work until it was all perfect.  I’d have never written and published 9 books if I held tight to 100% perfection.  For today... strive towards your goals, stretch, dream and accomplish.

Only 1 WEEK LEFT to take advantage of this month's DISCOUNT AND FREE BONUS!  Receive 20% OFF ALL DIGITAL EBOOKS through Wed. Sept 30th USE THIS LINK and go through to Checkout page OR type in code FISHSCHOOL   For those that are looking to become better healers, empathic without the pain and more intuitive, Click here for our online Mastery course in My Liquid Fish® Change made simple®?  And also through Wed. Sept 30th, our special MyBeliefWorks™ for Clearing Educational Blocks MP3 will be 20% OFF OR you can GET IT FREE when you sign up for either the Mastery or Practitioner Certification Course this month.   

TGIWednesday Download

~ COMFORT IN MEETINGS ~ (Zoom or in-person) Today I will know when to speak and when to remain silent.  I believe, think, know and feel that I can be comfortable in meetings.  I am ready, willing and able to partake in meetings without nervousness, or any misspoken words. I know, when, where, how and why to stay centered, grounded, focused and I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.  

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.  

 LAST CALL!! When you sign up for either the Mastery or Practitioner Certification Course by Sept 30th you'll GET THIS FREE! MyBeliefWorks™ for Clearing Educational Blocks and Traumas MP3/PDF   

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library. 

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Clearings Creative Spark Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality *MySwitchWorks Videos

Monthly LIVE Zoom Event

WED. SEPTEMBER 23rd LIVE CALL 7:30pm-8pm Register to attend live & get replay - $22 https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/sept-switches-event

===================

Theme for September: Teaching, learning, meetings, speaking, studying...

Do you need help in un-learning the following?: laziness, overwhelm, judgment, fear, distrust, overeating, under exercising...

Do you need help learning?: Patience, tolerance, perseverance, stick to it attitude, courage, fearlessness, endurance, resilience, how to give and accept love...

Submit your Top 3 to support@jimmymackhealing.com

Sign Up Now - $22

LIVE Appearances - Free Healing

JOIN ME TONIGHT FOR THIS SPECIAL HEALING EVENT 7:30pm Eastern The Global Gathering

 with host Dipal Shah. The Gathering is an online spiritual event in which multiple healers, lightworkers, catalysts and spiritual teachers come together as ONE to support humanity by anchoring love, light, joy, wellness and optimism.  Free to Register & Watch Online TONIGHT at 7:30pm ET

For nearly a decade, more than 6 million people have been attending the You Wealth Revolution and the ALL NEW Global Awakening Project™ online event, starting this month, is going to impact millions more!  Join nearly 1 million people who will experience a ‘high vibration’ energy field as 40+ top teachers, healers, and scientists (including myself in November) will reveal their #1 quantum energy activations to instantly help YOU and  Get Your '639 Hz Abundance & Harmony Kit™' Gift + The Global Awakening Project™ LIVE Event Access — FREE Register here & Get Your Free Gift!

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack SEPTEMBER 23rd "Today when I least expect it, a miracle will occur. I will experience deja vu, time traveling, mystical, magical experiences that I will count on beyond all knowing that for this rare moment in time, I have been given a clear sign."

From the Fish Box

Q&A WITH JIMMY:  

Q) "Dear Jimmy, I listened to a recording of a recent show and you offered for us to write in regarding layoffs due to Covid. It is time to reinvent myself!  I am giving you a little background because this is the first time I don't have another new great thing I am excited about. Usually I have an idea and run with it. I have been waiting for direction on my new path. I have considered some receptionist type positions but not with great enthusiasm I must say.  Is it too broad of a question to ask for guidance here? Do I need to write back with specific job options? Thanks for all you do and for your help." - Nancy A)  "Correct, specific options work best……………too open ended in this email lol If someone asks, engineering, law or medicine? We can tell them with strong certainty what could be best." - Jimmy UPDATE: "Thank you so much Jimmy for your quick response! Just after sending my email to you, I was asked to submit my resume for a leasing agent position for a local apartment complex. (a close relative is the exec there, she is the one who offered it up.) Any feedback for this?." - Nancy

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

NEW VIDEO FORMAT! WATCH IT LIVE  TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT Watch and Participate (via Comments) during the Live TV Show streamed on Goldylocks Productions YouTube Channel, Facebook Page and Periscope.   NOTE: You will need to log into your YouTube (Google) or Facebook accounts to comment. If you watch the Live show from any other location other than the 3 listed below, your comments will not be seen by the Show Host or Producer. https://www.facebook.com/GoldylocksProductions https://www.pscp.tv/Goldylocks168/follow Or watch all live and replays in the archives here: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Instructions for the VIEWERS: 1.    One reading/message per person. The first question posted will be answered, so please think about your question carefully before posting it.  2.    If you want a longer and more detailed message, please book an appointment with the Show Host.  3.    Spirit does come through and gives messages that can apply to many, not just the person asking the question. 4.    It is not required nor should be expected that every question or comment will be addressed by the Show Host. 5.    If you have any issues with the show host or show format, please contact the Show Producer... not the Show Host. 6.    Contact the Show Producer, Rev. Tiffany White Sage Woman via email: goldylocksproductions@hotmail.com Yesterday's Show - Watch the replay here! Special Guest Ayla Murray | Tarot/Angel Cards and intuitive readings https://www.facebook.com/harmonicperspective/   September 29th  Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

October 6th  Psychic Joanne Leo | Numerology/astrology/angel cards reading from the heart www.psychicjoanneleo.com

October 13th Jeremy Riden | Cards and intuitive readings https://divinesparkministries.com/about-jeremy-riden

October 20th  Gosia Lorenz | www.gosialorenz.com

October 27th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

  **Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

Sign Up for 30-Days - $99

 Tampa Office Sessions

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions Friday October 16th from 10am-4pm  403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS 

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online.   3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa ☎️ (813) 999-1874 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.smbeconnected.com  

Stay connected!

  Our mailing address is: Clearwater Florida 33756 USA

[advancedthetapractitioner]

TGIWednesday and joining tonight's global prayer gathering

TGIWednesday News

My 6 year old grand daughter Charlie was visiting this past Sunday and was petting our new shiny kitten Lily. Charlie, looked up at me and said, “Grampa, Lily is almost 100 percent cute.”  Wow, as I thought for a minute; is a kitten lacking in cuteness? Truly this was a meeting of the minds and quite the conundrum.  But as funny as it was to hear, I took it from spirit that there is always room for improvements and we’re all striving to improve - so just know that.  You must stay out of perfection or I’m not doing this, that, or the other thing until the timing is 100 percent.  The Wright brothers would have never flown if they continued to work until it was all perfect.  I’d have never written and published 9 books if I held tight to 100% perfection.  For today... strive towards your goals, stretch, dream and accomplish.

Only 1 WEEK LEFT to take advantage of this month's DISCOUNT AND FREE BONUS!  Receive 20% OFF ALL DIGITAL EBOOKS through Wed. Sept 30th USE THIS LINK and go through to Checkout page OR type in code FISHSCHOOL   For those that are looking to become better healers, empathic without the pain and more intuitive, Click here for our online Mastery course in My Liquid Fish® Change made simple®?  And also through Wed. Sept 30th, our special MyBeliefWorks™ for Clearing Educational Blocks MP3 will be 20% OFF OR you can GET IT FREE when you sign up for either the Mastery or Practitioner Certification Course this month.   

TGIWednesday Download

~ COMFORT IN MEETINGS ~ (Zoom or in-person) Today I will know when to speak and when to remain silent.  I believe, think, know and feel that I can be comfortable in meetings.  I am ready, willing and able to partake in meetings without nervousness, or any misspoken words. I know, when, where, how and why to stay centered, grounded, focused and I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.  

Go deep sea "fishing" with Jimmy!

Level 1 is open to ANYONE at anytime! Click here to watch the Mastery video playlist

The Certificate of Mastery Program includes 2 best-selling ebooks and 2 clearing audios plus written & video instructions, AND one-on-one time with Jimmy ALL for about the cost of a single 1-hr session! This online course is for anyone who is familiar with OR new to "fishing" and is ready to dive into the deep end & get results that are beyond the ordinary! It includes The Tackle Box & The Dowser's Handbook ebooks PLUS 2 MP3s "Clearing Dark Energies" & "Increasing Your Intuition" to help clear, strengthen and prepare your energy field for optimal “fishing” results. This is a work-at-your-own-pace curriculum that will TEACH & CLEAR you at the same time! In under 2wks you will be finished with the program and ready to fish on your own with greater results! Level II offers Practitioner Certification for those who qualify.  

 LAST CALL!! When you sign up for either the Mastery or Practitioner Certification Course by Sept 30th you'll GET THIS FREE! MyBeliefWorks™ for Clearing Educational Blocks and Traumas MP3/PDF   

LEARN ABOUT CERTIFICATION HERE

For those who aren't familiar, here's the list of the MyBeliefWorks™ audio library. 

Find a topic that addresses your issue(s), click on the link to read more. We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better. Don't forget... you can share these with your immediate friends and family.

Abundance Abuse Addiction Body Scan: Head to Toe COVID-19 Clearings Creative Spark Daily GPS Reset Dark Energies/Fears Decision Making Diet & Exercise Education & Learning Family & Relatives The Gold Coin Healing Physical Body Healing Mental Stress Holiday Stress

Increasing Intuition IRS & Tax Time Love & Romance Money Mindset Moving Forward Pain Relief Pet Healing Sales & Success Improving Sex Improving Sleep Traveling w/Ease Work & Career Weight Loss Windfall Youth & Vitality *MySwitchWorks Videos

Monthly LIVE Zoom Event

WED. SEPTEMBER 23rd LIVE CALL 7:30pm-8pm Register to attend live & get replay - $22 https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/sept-switches-event

===================

Theme for September: Teaching, learning, meetings, speaking, studying...

Do you need help in un-learning the following?: laziness, overwhelm, judgment, fear, distrust, overeating, under exercising...

Do you need help learning?: Patience, tolerance, perseverance, stick to it attitude, courage, fearlessness, endurance, resilience, how to give and accept love...

Submit your Top 3 to support@jimmymackhealing.com

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Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack SEPTEMBER 23rd "Today when I least expect it, a miracle will occur. I will experience deja vu, time traveling, mystical, magical experiences that I will count on beyond all knowing that for this rare moment in time, I have been given a clear sign."

From the Fish Box

Q&A WITH JIMMY:  

Q) "Dear Jimmy, I listened to a recording of a recent show and you offered for us to write in regarding layoffs due to Covid. It is time to reinvent myself!  I am giving you a little background because this is the first time I don't have another new great thing I am excited about. Usually I have an idea and run with it. I have been waiting for direction on my new path. I have considered some receptionist type positions but not with great enthusiasm I must say.  Is it too broad of a question to ask for guidance here? Do I need to write back with specific job options? Thanks for all you do and for your help." - Nancy A)  "Correct, specific options work best……………too open ended in this email lol If someone asks, engineering, law or medicine? We can tell them with strong certainty what could be best." - Jimmy UPDATE: "Thank you so much Jimmy for your quick response! Just after sending my email to you, I was asked to submit my resume for a leasing agent position for a local apartment complex. (a close relative is the exec there, she is the one who offered it up.) Any feedback for this?." - Nancy

The Jimmy Mack Healing Show

NEW VIDEO FORMAT! WATCH IT LIVE  TUESDAY'S at 4pm EDT / 1pm PDT Watch and Participate (via Comments) during the Live TV Show streamed on Goldylocks Productions YouTube Channel, Facebook Page and Periscope.   NOTE: You will need to log into your YouTube (Google) or Facebook accounts to comment. If you watch the Live show from any other location other than the 3 listed below, your comments will not be seen by the Show Host or Producer. https://www.facebook.com/GoldylocksProductions https://www.pscp.tv/Goldylocks168/follow Or watch all live and replays in the archives here: https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Instructions for the VIEWERS: 1.    One reading/message per person. The first question posted will be answered, so please think about your question carefully before posting it.  2.    If you want a longer and more detailed message, please book an appointment with the Show Host.  3.    Spirit does come through and gives messages that can apply to many, not just the person asking the question. 4.    It is not required nor should be expected that every question or comment will be addressed by the Show Host. 5.    If you have any issues with the show host or show format, please contact the Show Producer... not the Show Host. 6.    Contact the Show Producer, Rev. Tiffany White Sage Woman via email: goldylocksproductions@hotmail.com Yesterday's Show - Watch the replay here! Special Guest Ayla Murray | Tarot/Angel Cards and intuitive readings https://www.facebook.com/harmonicperspective/   September 29th  Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

October 6th  Psychic Joanne Leo | Numerology/astrology/angel cards reading from the heart www.psychicjoanneleo.com

October 13th Jeremy Riden | Cards and intuitive readings https://divinesparkministries.com/about-jeremy-riden

October 20th  Gosia Lorenz | www.gosialorenz.com

October 27th Rev Debbie | Our resident trans medium communications with your loved ones in spirit. Visit her Facebook page

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Nightly prayers include COVID-19. Each night we work on scrambling the frequency for everyone on the prayer list. Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you.  

In addition, throughout the full 30-days, Jimmy will be dialing into your energetic signature each day upon rising and make certain that you are a clear yes, unclear to no and running forward before you start your day. He is doing the heavy lifting for you around 3am NY time while most of you are asleep in order to smooth out your way and increase your most favorable life outcomes.

The 30-day service is now being offered exclusively  and you also have the option of selecting an ongoing subscription ($95/month) which is managed through PayPal only.

Upon written email request, for each new order we offer a one-time email analysis via the intelligent healing software that Jimmy uses on your behalf.  Most clients have had amazing results and outcomes!

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers. *NOTE if the MDP Service was purchased via a special telesummit or radio show offer, prayers will be limited to BUYER ONLY - and will not include family members or pets.

You can run this monthly and stop at any time after the 30 days is up, you will have the opportunity to renew and update your list each month but are under no obligation. I believe you will experience magical transformations and make progress every day! 

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 Tampa Office Sessions

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s NEW office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions Friday October 16th from 10am-4pm  403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $38 or 30-minutes $68. If you’re new to working with me, I suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

FRIDAY KODAWARI YOGA STUDIOS 

Friday sessions are back to being phone-only for folks that I usually see at Kodawari until further notice. You can book time with me in the shop and schedule online.   3965 Henderson Blvd Suite C Tampa ☎️ (813) 999-1874 http://www.kodawariyoga.com/

TGIFunny

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Jimmy Mack | Appointments Skype: Jimmy.Mack55 Clearwater Florida USA Book a 15 minute session Book a 30 minute session Book a 60 minute session ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Download the My Liquid Fish® Starter Kit (*Updated May 2019) Audio MP3 Downloads​ and books​ to improve your life! Get Certified in ​My Liquid Fish® Change Made Simple® Watch Free Videos on YouTube Weekly Radio Show Archives Shop for ​Supplements ​ http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com www.jimmymackhealing.com Copyright ©1998-2020 All Rights Reserved  

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[kriscynical]

Health Update:

I saw my chiropractor for the fourth time in five days this past Saturday, and I was not in a good headspace when I got there. I felt that I was making absolutely no progress and wasn’t getting any better at all, and I was (am) far beyond tired of being in constant pain. I’ve tried my best to keep my spirits high, but I’m still human so I have bitchy backslides now and then.

More in-depth bitching and updates to how I’m doing under the cut to spare your dashes, especially for those of you who dgaf. lol

Up till Saturday my chiro had been doing gentle pressure point adjustments on my back using her activator (a little handheld punch tool for focused adjustments) rather than doing drop adjustments using the table, and after that she had been putting me on ultrasound to help calm the deep tissue, which I hated. 

There isn’t a “nice” way to put this: my pain is centered in the right side of my butt, right in the middle of the cheek and extends to just below the cheek with some pain extending to the side toward my hip. As I told my mom, this whole ordeal is quite literally a pain in my ass. In order to get the ultrasound where it needed to be, I had to pull my pants down considerably far, and I did not like doing that in a group therapy room, curtains/coverings or not. Dignity: gone. Besides that, by the time the treatment was finished I would be so stiff it made me hurt even worse when I’d move to get up off the therapy table. This is besides the fact that I did not feel like it was doing anything beneficial at all, and I was leaving her office feeling worse than I had come in and spending the rest of the day in even worse pain. 

I told her all of that, and she relented. No more ultrasound. Thank god.

I told her that putting pressure on the spot during pain spikes had seemed to help at home, so she started doing much more rough drop adjustments on the table. They hurt just as much as the gentle prodding with the activator (if not a little more), except after the drop adjustments it was actually considerably easier for me to sit back up on the table when she was finished. 

She also switched me from ultrasound to something called rapid release therapy, which is basically like an industrial strength vibrating wand of sorts that’s meant to break up deep scar tissue and stimulate blood flow to promote healing. After five minutes of having that done the muscles, again, felt considerably better than they did before the treatment, and it was quite a bit easier for me to move afterwards, especially in comparison to how stiff I had been after the ultrasound. I felt pretty good leaving her office that day, all things considered, and I was definitely in a much better headspace.

I was sore yesterday just like she said I’d be, but overall I feel like the pain was lower down on the scale (holding at about a 4-5 instead of 7) and the one pain spike I had Sunday morning was a 7-8 instead of a 9-10. Still incredibly painful, but a hell of a lot better than before. I spent all day Sunday on my tens unit with periodic icing of my back, which I’ll be continuing with for the foreseeable future. I’m having another pain spike as I write this (3am Monday) of about a 7 but, again, it’s not as bad as before and I’ll take any improvements I can get at this point. I’m scheduling this to post in the morning when more people are likely to actually see it. 

I just happen to have my six month appointment with my regular doctor today, and I’m going to let him know what’s been going on. I see the chiro again on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday of this week, and I’m really hoping that the new treatments she’s doing will continue to show improvement for me because holy shit am I ever tired of this, figuratively and literally. I haven’t slept this much since I was depressed, but I’ve been told that being in constant pain is really draining on the body. I believe it. I’m spending 16-18 hours at a time in bed with alarms set every four hours to take my pain meds so it doesn’t get out of control again, and I still feel like I need a nap when I make it to my desk.

I was finally able to start the rough sketch for my Born to Shine Yuuri zine piece last night, too, which I’m happy with so far. Yuuri took pity on me and cooperated when I sat down to sketch, bless him.

So that’s all I got for now. All I’ve been able to focus on is how much I hurt and how long it’s been since I took my meds, and I’ve barely left the house in the last week or so save for going to doctors. That’s not going to change for at least another week from now. It’s a pretty boring existence. 

My parents have been angels through this, too, driving me to my appointments since it’s far too painful for me to safely drive myself right now and doing lots of small things for me so I don’t have do do anything more than is absolutely necessary. I don’t even have to ask; more often than not they bitch at me to stop doing whatever it is I’m trying to do and to let them do it for me instead, go sit down before you make yourself spike again, have you taken your meds lately? What’s your pain at right now? Is it better or worse? Do you want your ice pack? They worry.

I am blessed. ♥

Also thank you to those of you who have reached out to show concern and/or check on how I’m doing. I appreciate it a lot. ♥♥♥

And also thank you so much to @lesbianmilababicheva and @lightgirlification for letting me vent and bitch when I’m spiking and for distracting me in general with fluffy Victuuri headcanons and fic talk. Y’all are helping me stay sane more than you know. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

[shunbunnohi]

Kyoto Trip!

So I decided that I would hold off on updating this blog until I feel like I have something worth sharing. I didn’t want this to be filled with sad memories, because this journal was ultimately supposed to be a way for me to look back on happy memories of JSP. So now that I’ve experienced happiness again for the first time in a couple weeks, I should document it!

This weekend (September 21-23), the JSP crew took a trip to Kyoto! It was arranged by the school, but I think it was done by a third party tourism company. I think it was really good! We stayed in a ryokan right outside the station, and I got to room with three of my friends! There were four people to a room. The futon was surprisingly comfortable. There was also an onsen in the basement! 

We all had to get up at around 6AM because we had to leave Ikebukuro Station at 8AM. I decided to walk to the station instead of taking my bike since I didn’t want to have to deal with leaving it there for three days. It was a tiring trip, but I made it to Ikebukuro, met up with my friends, and then slept on the Shinkansen. 

We had lunch at a nice restaurant near the station! It was (I think) pork cutlet, rice, some miso, and some vegetables. We also had some fish, both cooked and raw, and some of those egg cakes. It was really good! I drank my Monster with the lunch cause I was falling tf asleep. 

After that, we went to the Fushimi Inari Taisha! 

It was my first time going there. We explored the many many torii gates, but we didn’t have enough time to go all the way up the mountain. I found that the dates were inscribed on the torii, and I was very impressed with how old some of them were! 

Taisho, November 1918

Meiji, February (?) 1877

Showa, July 1989

There was also a cat! He seemed to like us. 

After the Fushimi Inari, we went to Yatsuhashi to learn to make wagashi! Yatsuhashi is one of the most famous wagashi companies in Kyoto. Here’s a picture of the wagashi I made! It was really hard. Wagashi maybe isn’t my favorite candy, but I can appreciate the art of it. I’m not sure what the one on the far right is supposed to be. We were just told to put a bunch of little pieces on a ball of anko. 

There was an embroidery museum above Yatsuhashi, and it was filled with impressive pieces like this one!

We had dinner at another nice restaurant, which happened to be a buffet! I didn’t eat a whole lot, but this was the dessert that I got. It was all peach flavored! Personally I think I liked the jelly the best. 

That night I did my nails with my friends in my room! Turns out I’m better at doing other people’s nails than I thought. It was really fun! We also played a Disney song guessing game, and I guess I kept winning lol. We ended up staying up until 3am, which wasn’t super great, cause we had to get up early the next day. 

Sunday, September 22

Our breakfast was really nice! Except it was at 7AM, and we had gone to bed at around 3AM. I opted to sleep a little longer, and also let my friends sleep in a bit since they didn’t even come to breakfast. We planned to go to Nara at 9AM, but things changed a little bit. I went to Nara with only two of my friends and they left early so I met up with another group that was also in Nara. We fed the deer! I was very excited, since I’ve wanted to see the deer for a long time. As I was warned, the deer were a little aggressive. They would headbutt me and other people a lot if you weren’t feeding them, and it was a little scary cause sometimes it would hurt. However, they did bow for you! There was also a couple babies that were still nursing from their mothers. Unfortunately, you couldn’t feed them since they were still scared of people. Some of the males would pursue the females and get them irritated. I got a few videos of them yelling! I can’t post videos within text posts though. Maybe it’s tumblr’s fault, or maybe I’m just stupid, who knows. 

Look how many deer there were! 

I spent about $7 on deer senbei. I tried some of it... it tastes like communion. It started raining while we were at the park, but it was okay. A lot of the kids were actually quite scared of the deer, which was understandable. The deer also weren’t limited to just Nara Park. I went to the Todaiji with my other friends, and there were deer all over the temple grounds as well. The Todaiji was huge! The building itself was amazingly large, and the Buddha inside filled the whole thing. It was $6 to go in, but I think it was worth it. 

Here is the outside of the front gates. 

This is the Todaiji temple itself! It has horns! I really can’t express how absolutely massive this building was in just a picture. 

This is the Buddha himself! Absolute legend. 

My friends crawled through the hole in a pillar which is supposed to bring good luck, but I was too scared of getting stuck to actually go through it. I bought a couple charms to protect my kabuto mushi and I also found a necklace and some washi tape! The washi tape is deer patterned, which I think is really cute. I was very surprised that I was able to find the necklace that I did at the Todaiji of all places. But anyway, it’s one of my favorite necklaces now. 

I also happened to lose my umbrella at the restaurant we had lunch at the day before. But I bought a new one that looks like a samurai sword! I think it’s really cool, but some people were staring at me. I guess some people couldn’t tell that it wasn’t actually a real sword. 

This is just the handle, but you get the idea. 

Monday, September 23

Monday came faster than I expected. I was very sad to have to leave Kyoto. We went up to have breakfast at 7AM again, and then set out to go to the Tenryuji in Arashiyama. It was a really cool experience! One of the monks taught us about Buddhism, and the process of becoming a monk. It took us a while, but we finally got to the exciting part where he taught us how to meditate! It was very relaxing, and I’m honestly surprised that I didn’t fall asleep, despite struggling very hard to stay awake throughout the rest of the presentation. I was actually a bit more awake after the meditation than I was before. Monks meditate for many hours a day, and part of it kind of makes up for the fact that they only get 4-5 hours of sleep a night. It’s a very vigorous lifestyle. The monk that was teaching us went around whacking some people with what looked like a wooden paddle-stick in a way. That’s tradition for monks during meditation; it’s supposed to hit a pressure point to wake you up. It also prevents monks from actually falling asleep during the mediation, but the monk that was teaching us said he often did fall asleep anyway. I was too scared to get whacked, but honestly I kind of regret it. 

After the presentation, we went to have lunch! It was a very tasty lunch, but most of it was vegetables. I liked the little tofu bean cake that we got though. I’m glad that I finally know what it is, since we had it at the Kawagoe Daiichi Hotel and I never figured out what it actually was so I could get it again. We had free time for a couple hours, and many of us opted to go back to the temple to explore the garden. We also had pre-paid tickets to get in, so we might as well have gone to see it. It was very peaceful and pretty!

Here is the lake!

Another view of the lake with some flowers. 

There was also a bamboo forest! 

After this, we had to go home. I went to dinner (kinda) with my friends, and that was fun, though! I’d like to go back to Kyoto again sometime. 

[proofsaretalk]

rapidly barreling toward that 1k mark

The title is not what this post is about. (cw: five pages of boring navelgazing)

------

Sometimes, when I get really close to going to bed after staying up for far too long, I will say things like “What are you doing?” And I normally think about that as just my not-quite-totally-mentally-healthy ass’s way of saying “go to bed bro”

But somehow when I said it tonight the question sounded a lot more urgent. A lot more confused. A lot more like a question, in other words.

And I think best in writing.

So here are the basic facts:

I am very tired right now (4am)

I was (less) very tired about four hours ago

I intentionally chose to not go to bed four hours ago, 

After watching a really good SGDQ run.

I actually very much enjoy SGDQ runs.

But I did not spend the intervening four hours watching SGDQ runs.

Primarily because I knew I would not stay awake by doing so.

I more or less knew, when I made that decision, that I would be awake at 4am.

See 3.4.

I have been going to bed around 2-3am for the last couple days.

This schedule initiated by me staying up way too late on Sunday of last week, for reasons that were equally unreasonable but at least more familiar.

I need to be awake in 3 hours, or, at most 4 hours.

I have known for several days that I would need to be awake at 7am on Monday morning.

Less basic facts, with notably more reporting bias, probably:

The reason that I need to be awake at 7am on Monday morning is because I am going on a road trip with my dad and my roommate.

I am mostly going on this road trip because I want to spend more time with my dad.

And also because I want to signal to him that I want to spend more time with him.

Which I definitely feel like I have not, although I have had dinner with him for three nights this week; in no small part because I was in Montreal when he arrived and have not done a lick of work to help care for my grandmother while he was in town. 

In particular I don’t really care about where we’re going or what we’ll do there.

I intended to drive both ways— which I never told anyone that I was intending to do, which I suppose was good because I will certainly not do that now.

Maybe we’re approaching the actual reason I am doing this obviously stupid thing, Part I:

My main goals this summer are, in priority order

to get a fucking advisor, 

a.k.a. to work hard enough and deep enough on commutative algebra to determine whether it is a good idea to be Christine’s student, and

if so, to then decide whether I should work with Vic anyway.

to reach the 1k posts in 1k days goal with OTAM, 

which requires essentially exactly two posts per day every day for the remainder of the summer

which is, to an unbelievably strong level of consistency (like literally I do not believe it), four hours +/- 40 minutes of work.

that’s it

i fucking hate it when my family asks me “what have you been doing lately” because it’s like

I’M READING

I’M BLOGGING

THAT’S IT

Anything I do beyond this is— though it be, to some extent, necessary for keeping my sanity— something I perceive as an annoyance and do with a fair bit of guilt (which I do try to put off until after doing the thing, usually pretty successfully).

and you know what, yes, if I’m being honest, that includes spending time with my family

even though this is 110% my own damn problem and if I had locked myself in my room this week, my dad (in particular) would totally have understood

although he lives 1600 miles away, and is only here for two weeks, and his birthday is tomorrow, and I missed out on seeing him the first week because Montreal, because my dad is a pure cinnamon roll lol no but is (in particular) genuinely understanding about this stuff; the whole midwesterner guilt trip passive-aggressive thing is very much not his aesthetic

and also I really haven’t spent that much time with my family besides this week so. [ At most 3hrs/week previously ]

I have two blog posts scheduled for tomorrow and another one besides; that is, enough that I can go on the trip and wake up late on Tuesday and I won’t experience any interruptions

I was highly embarrassed that I had to miss the second Friday post this week

I spent a lot of time on Saturday working with the specific intention of having a large enough buffer to make sure that this did not happen again on Tuesday.

aka 4 blog posts

aka 12 hours of blogging, because the rate of 2hr/post only applies to the first two posts in a day, after which the evidence suggests (more on that below) that it’s a complete shitshow.

aka nothing else got done, which is relevant because

For the first time on our regularly scheduled Thursday meeting time, Christine actually gave me something to do — previously it was mostly entirely me being like “I’m reading the book, here are my questions”.

I have done essentially no work toward doing that thing.

See 3.4

See also 2.2 from the previous section.

I have never felt happy about the amount of time that I’ve been devoting to the algebra 

See 1.3.5 oh god this is becoming a labrynth isn’t it

Christine seems oblivious to this, or perhaps thinks that, since I bring it up every week, I am just trying to preempt any criticism she might make

which to be honest isn’t wrong but

I have experience with being advised by someone with fairly low expectations of me and yeah it drives me right up the fucking wall

and I am definitely keeping my eye on her essential silence w.r.t. progress

In particular, I don’t feel happy about the fact that I have been spending so much more time on the blog than on the algebra because the latter is clearly infinitely more important for my continued ability to support myself by doing the thing that makes me incredibly happy.

There are good reasons I have made this choice but I definitely expected that these would disappear after returning from Montreal

which they have, and hence my continued inability to spend time doing algebra is even more disappointing to me

despite the fact that new reasons obviously exist that are also obviously temporary since dad will leave on the 4th.

and that I also do strongly value my familial relationships and am extremely bad at showing this; and I understand that what I have chosen to do for the past week is a very shrewd calculation to maximize the number of people who have firsthand experience with my show of commitment (however obviously performative it may be)

to be clear, I do not know if it is obvious that it is performative

I do not even know if it is performative

The fact that my algebra assignment for the week came from Christine, and not from a vague sense of “you should probably finish this book”, adds a particular urgency to the task... 

...and what seems to be my inevitable failure to complete it, since I have only Tuesday and Wednesday; and Tuesday is the 4th of July so that might as well not exist, productivity-wise; and I still have to write the usual two blogposts for Wednesday so it’s not like I can cram a 14-hour session (which I have done before).

I do not know whether I am more concerned about potentially disappointing Christine or myself

(even though the former is so unlikely that it is almost certainly anxiety)

Okay that’s nice exposition but doesn’t actually explain why you’re awake at 4am (hint it’s 5am now), Part II:

When I walked out of Christine’s office on Thursday, I definitely did not think that I would be spending all of Monday, and essentially all of Friday, and a good half of Sunday, to be spent with family. (Of course, I still expected Tuesday to be shot.)

However, all of that was clarified by Friday afternoon, so I’ve had a couple days to mull on this.

I certainly did not make the decision to stay awake in hopes that I would get any work done.

In fact, if I am being honest, this was an intentional part of my thought process and I made the decision in spite of this fact.

What I did not consider is that, if I have to cancel the plans for today because I did this stupid thing, I certainly will not be able to fucking do anything tomorrow since I will have to sleep through everything. 

Dear God, the sun is rising through my window

I closed the blinds, whew

What I did end up doing over this four-hour period is mostly read career posts on math blogs, and reading PhD, with a little bit of SGDQ and a pinch of assorted internet clicking thrown in.

It is perhaps not obvious to anyone else that this has the feel of a self-care session to me.

The only thing that I could possibly have been consciously self-caring for, though, was the expenditure of energy at my dad’s birthday party today.

(Anxieties about the Christine reading only started appearing in the later phases of this period.)

And surely sleeping would have been equally good dramatically better self-care.

I definitely have a sometimes-useful tendency to want to do a single thing for as long of an uninterrupted period as possible, up to and including completely destroying my sleeping rhythm (which accounts for much of the ‘sometimes’ in ‘sometimes-useful’).

The part of me that likes to make needlessly grandiose statements and read into shit too much, is squawking about how I probably feel like I had expectations for how I would be spending my time (I did), and feel like I’ve been forced into a time-consuming alternate direction (which, again: no), and therefore making this stupid decision is a juvenile way of exercising control by breaking from what would probably be “expected” of me (i.e. fucking going to sleep before a day-long road trip)

I am currently convinced of this but also

I am even more tired than when I started writing this post and

I don’t trust my tired brain to be right about anything of this scope (based on extensive experience with incorrect sleeping decisions).

That’s all I got.

No alternate theories.

So, shit, that’s gotta mean it’s right, huh?

Lambda

Actually, continuing on the sleeping-as-control riff, I am quite experienced with (and, if I may say so, fairly good at) managing an awful sleeping cycle. Perhaps the stupid decision was not about controlling how I spend my time but rather more direct: demonstrating control in my life via crisis management w.r.t. sleeping.

This is actually a testable theory, at least in the sense that if I have something similar come up soon, I could replace “not sleeping” with “playing Starcraft”

[ it’s not perfect because I would also not be sleeping in that setting, but then the not-sleeping is a side effect rather than the actual display of control; and I think that I could (after the fact) actually distinguish between those two. ]

(and arguably, this has already been played out in prior incidents, but I am way too tired to examine whether similar issues were at play in those cases.)

And finally

I am equally concerned with the fact that this post has cost me two hours of sleeping as it has cost me two hour of algebra work,

which is to say, not at all, in either case

although I do perceive very little of value was gained by my writing it

which is a very confusing triplet of true statements, to me, at this moment.

I may have to cancel the road trip.

Perhaps this was my subconscious goal all along.

But I’ll go to sleep take a power nap and we’ll see.

If your sorry ass thinks that I’ve been writing this shit for two hours without theorizing how I could sanitize it into an OTAM post then frankly you don’t know me at all.

[blackbrian6-blog]

2018 - Leg 4 of the Worldly Chicks Transformation

Yesterday, 03:08 AM   #1  

Senior Member

Thread Starter

 Join Date: Jan 2002

Location: A Kiwi in Aus

Posts: 5,762

S/C/G: too much/going down/just right

Height: 157cm

Use this new thread to post from today. We are believe it or not into October. To go back to the old thread click here. 2018 - Leg 3 Back to post after I sort out the other thread.

  Yesterday, 03:20 AM   #2  

Senior Member

Thread Starter

 Join Date: Jan 2002

Location: A Kiwi in Aus

Posts: 5,762

S/C/G: too much/going down/just right

Height: 157cm

It's a bit like a revolving door around here. People come, people go, people stay for a while. Anyway all is peaceful at the moment, the dog has gone home, the cat is inspecting the fence removal I have done today - not that it will meet with his approval. I've cleaned the bathroom, laundry and hall. Made the beds, done 4 loads of laundry, painted a couple of walls and sorted and filed a whole bunch of recipes I, for some reason, thought I couldn't live without. Looking at the file, I may need to live for another 30 years to get through then all. Some will go out as I prune them as I file. I busted the paper shredder yesterday. Don't make things like they used to, so I put the last papers into the bbq and burnt them - shouldn't have such a huge amount to do again although I still have a couple of drawers to go through. I've found a whole load of stuff I thought I had lost and I have what looks like a million cards. that I have bought over the years. I'll be back later to do personals. I will have to go through the posts to find out how far behind I am.

  Yesterday, 10:44 AM   #3  

Choose your hard

 Join Date: Jun 2002

Location: A beautiful and peaceful place in the woods

Posts: 8,678

S/C/G: Stuck/Working on it/Good 2 Go

Height: Fun Size

Good morning to yahs,

Well a week has literally flown by in the blink of an eye and DH is enroute home already. That sure passed by much quicker than I would have liked it to do. Of course I barely touched most of the projects at home I was going to make so much progress on.

But I did get a few things done and at least started to make some progress. It was supposed to be a heads down day on Sunday and then I realized that October was looming on Monday. I had to enter the sales for the Thrift Shop for the month so the accountant can pay the sales tax bill. Then I had to type up the driver lists for the Meals on Wheels recipients at the Senior Center. They redid them and gave me a hand written piece of paper with the new lists. They also had to be ready to go out with the drivers bright and early Monday.

Saturday I had started going through piles of papers, sorting and organizing them. Among them was this hand written list. I started panicking as I knew exactly where this list was WHEN it was in a pile on the counter but now that I organized things, I could NOT FIND IT ANYWHERE!!! A "pile" person should never organize themselves. I searched for over an hour. By the time I entered the sales into the spreadsheet and looked for the list it was going on 3am Monday morning. I told myself to go to bed and get some sleep and I'd start fresh in the morning. Woke up at 6:30, went to the toilet and tried to get a bit more sleep but it was on my mind and the cat was seeking out my attention. So I got up, made a coffee and resumed my search. I finally found it after 3 more rounds, some fervent prayers and a bit of cussing! I somehow overlooked it in the place I had looked through twice. I typed the list, had a bunch of leftover people, called the kitchen manager to straighten it out and then sent it off to the Center's receptionist to print and take upstairs. Just in the nick of time. I went over there for lunch and one of the ladies was expecting me to be trained as a fill in on the lunch reservation desk. I begged off and said not today. I needed to get back home and focus on the house. Came home to a bunch of emails of demands from the thrift shop crew. Decided this is getting to be a bit too much. I am also under the gun because a friend has decided to drive into Chicago for a short trip this coming weekend and invited me to ride along. I'd rather not go at the minute - our fall colors are just blooming, there are cranberry and apple festivals I'd love to go to and I just want to be home to do things quite honestly. However my sister's birthday is tomorrow and my Mom's 92 birthday is the end of the month so I feel like I should go even if it's a short trip. She wants to leave early Friday morning - I'd also rather not go on Friday and arrive right at rush hour peak commute time on a Friday when everyone is crazy driving but she is driving so she sets the rules. Anyway I won't be working bingo on this Thursday or next and while my partner is not holding it against me, it does put pressure on him if the other guy gets sick at the last minute. Besides getting the house in order, I need to focus on packing and getting everything ready by Thursday. Seems like all I do is hurry lately... I am debating very seriously about stepping down from the Board at the Shelter as well as my Thrift Shop responsibilities. There's a couple of people who really annoy me there and it's no fun being a part of that any more. As for the Senior Center, I will help them out until the new year when they should be out of crisis

So in reality, not much new with me - same old stuff just a new day

Shad - thank you for setting up the new thread. I was thinking it was time to do so. Sounds like you are making steady progress on your projects around the house. Amazing what we can accumulate in a house, isn't it? I too am finding boxes of papers tucked away - so many of them - where did they come from and why did I think it important to keep them hanging around. I know what you mean about recipes. I have a bunch I printed from the internet as well as some favorite magazines that I haven't cracked open in well over a year. I laughed at your comment about having to live 30 years more in order to make all those dishes. I tell myself that as the cold weather approaches I will be more akin to cooking again. I have to - I have 2 freezers that are chock full - DH will not have any room to store any frozen meals if he decides to pick up something while I am gone. Have you got the garden all turned over yet?

Annie - how goes it with the job. Have you been told anything definitive yet? Are you looking and applying for other things? Prayers and good wishes on the job hunt.

Laura - what did the new doctor say about your foot? What kind of surgery were they considering? Are you getting the bike out for rides in the woods now that fall is coming? How was dinner out with Mom? If you are the kind of person who will be more motivated to work out if you are spending the money, then get a personal trainer. A good one can help you in many ways. It's like a doctor though, get one who will listen to you and work WITH you. Some of them just aren't good with working with the public. My sister had a twenty-something that chose not to care that you need to adapt routines for people's individual ages and fitness levels.

Susie - how is hubby doing? Are you back in your routine?

Ceejay - has autumn come to Missouri yet? How are you doing on selecting an eating plan? How are your allergies?

Dee - we don't have any other indoor pets other than the 2 cats. But we have a whole yard outside full of deer, turkeys and wild birds that are DH's other pets.

I'm sure they will be happy he is home today because the bird feeders are empty and I can't reach the pole they are hung on. Yay for the win on the homecoming game!

Well ladies this house won't clean itself so my coffee cup is empty and I need to get rolling here. I will try and post more before I leave.

  Yesterday, 10:50 AM   #4  

Senior Member

 Join Date: Oct 2000

Location: Chicago, IL, USA

Posts: 3,262

Morning all.

Shad – Thanks for starting our new thread. We don’t post nearly as much, so I bet we could have continued on the old one without hitting the max 500 posts by 12/31, but fresh starts are good for us!! Just glad you didn’t title it “Last Leg”, as in “on our last legs” – that’s not a positive thing, lol. Like your shredder being on its last legs and then – it died. Hope you get a sturdy replacement soon. The neighbors might not appreciate burning papers on a regular basis. LOL re the recipe stash. I have one that I need to finish going through, but lately I’m tempted to chuck everything and anything. In my mind, anyway, not in reality. Dee – Must have been fun to be at the homecoming game and see your g-daughter cheering. Brings back memories - I cheered in grade school. Ceejay – I didn’t realize stores are keeping cough syrup locked up these days. I thought it just had some booze in it. On second thought, booze definitely doesn't leave me groggy like Nyquil does.Annie – Saw FB photos of you at your reunion – looked like a fun time. You’re looking fabulous, BTW. Susie – Prayers that your dh doesn’t have any further complications and the healing process is otherwise going well. Happy – Is your dh home yet? Saw a couple of his pics on FB – wow, great shots. I need to go back to Colorado someday!!

==

Nothing much to report on my end. The scale was up a pound last Monday and was down two pounds yesterday. I’ll take it, even if I don’t feel I deserve it, LOL. I’m still posting my eating on MFP, but I’ve gotten haphazard about it. I need to get back on track.

What else? Last days in this office. The coffee/copy room is barren. They removed all the federal/governmental posting notices and other postings on the walls, and all the coffee and tea pods have run out. We must be going to a different beverage system in the new place. Good thing I use my own tea bags…

That’s it for me, so I’ll get this posted. Have a good day everyone!!

Last edited by Laura705; Yesterday at 11:01 AM.

  Yesterday, 10:51 AM   #5  

Senior Member

 Join Date: Oct 2000

Location: Chicago, IL, USA

Posts: 3,262

Okay, everything is smooshed together with different size fonts. Sigh. And Happy was typing over my head. Be back later to catch up.

  Yesterday, 11:20 AM   #6  

Senior Member

 Join Date: Dec 2002

Location: Missouri

Posts: 4,798

S/C/G: 200/189/165

Height: 5 ft 1 inch

My week has taken shape.. Going to eat lunch today with a friend and then need to go somewhere and get some loppers to trim the bushes. Think my nephew has borrowed them but he say's no. Suppose to go with niece to get the airbag fixed on a recall but I do not hear from her and I hate things at last minute. Thursday my cousin from Fort Lenard Wood, MO is coming. I''m expecting them to spend the night. I'm not a very good hostess or cook. Need to freshen up that room. I don't even have a coffee maker and will not buy one just for this. My dad's people were/are heavy coffee drinkers. I haven't gotten completely over this allergy attack yet. Think it had turned into a sinus infection and is taking longer to get over. I'm not coughing as much so that's a good thing. Silly me was walking in the house bare foot and my caught second toe on the edge of the room sized rug I have dining room. It hurt like crazy. This morning its black and swollen. but does not hurt. Think I sprained it. The moral of this story is wear shoes. I'm not sure about going to WW. But I do like the idea of it being a wellness center. So I'm calling this last journey my wellness journey, Don't know why I can't be comfortable in my own skin. as long as my labs are with in range. --------

Happy Really can't blame you for cutting back on your volunteering especially with winter coming on. Yes, I think autumn is starting. I saw some Maple trees turning on the way to church Sunday morning. Shad Thanks for getting us started for the month of October. You are one busy woman. Laura I haven't been on the scale this month. I keep forgetting. I'm still trying to post of MFP. Really do not like the WW website. They have changed it too. Susie Hope the Dh hasn't had any more complications from his surgery. Hope he continues to heal. Dee How is MeeMee?

Last edited by ceejay52; Yesterday at 11:23 AM.

  Yesterday, 03:30 PM   #7  

Senior Member

 Join Date: Jun 2004

Location: Ohio

Posts: 2,763

Height: 5'7"

Hello Ladies!

I started to post last night and in the middle of typing my post, something refreshed on the computer and I lost it all....so I just went to bed.

DH is doing very well. If you saw on FB that he had a trip to the ER on Saturday it was due to a seroma that has developed but it is draining very nicely and he says he feels pretty good. He does tire easily; I took him to the grocery with me on Saturday and he last 30 min.

He had his 2 week check-up yesterday and they said he is doing great. He goes back on October 30 and should be released to retun to work on November 5.

Anne: Saw the H.S. Reunion pictures on FB...you looked stunning! Any word on the job and the changes that are coming?

Laura: I have been getting back to posting everything on MFP and it sure does help. I'm glad to hear you have a new doctor for your foot and it sounds like he has a plan.

Ceejay: I hope you didn't break your toe! I like what you are calling your "journey".

Shad: I hear you on the paper pile up. It is easy to do. I just went through the file cabinet and purged manuals for things we don't own anymore. That freed up a lot of space. And I am right there with you with the cards. I'm always picking one up here and there to have on hand......and then I still buy more of then.

Happy: You sound a lot like me, taking care of all the things that others need before doing my own things. It is a bad habit to be in. Remember we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others. (Picture the stewardness and the oxegyn mask demo!

)

It is hard when one is on the computer to spend to much time on a task. At work, I have been finding that if I write down my start and stop time of what I am working on, even if I don't finish it, it helps keep me on track and helps be go back and finish up. Maybe give that a try? I also schedule time for things that I'm not on the computer. So, I might work for 1-2 hrs on the computer and then get up and do something else for 30 min. It helps me to fresh and at the end of the day, I can see what I did.

Dee: How nice you got to go see the grandaughter cheer. I cheered and was on dance team...some of the most fun times of my life.

I must get back to work. I wanted to be sure I posted today. See you all later

  Today, 12:18 PM   #8  

Senior Member

 Join Date: Oct 2000

Location: Chicago, IL, USA

Posts: 3,262

Morning all.

Happy - Of course your week went quickly – don’t they all? I don’t know how you keep track of all you do. == I don’t envy you doing your paper purge. I will be going through that myself soon enough. Tomorrow I take home the monitor, keyboard and docking station and need to clear space in the home office for them. I need to stay strong. How much of that paper have I *ever* needed to look at a second time? Paid bills, credit card change of terms notices, privacy notices, etc. == Anyway – I’m glad you found that one thing you needed to find. == Wow, that’s a last minute trip home! I hope you get everything you need to do taken care of before leaving. == Re the foot – the new doc’s x-ray even more clearly showed the fracture is still there, unhealed. He of course agreed that it was unusual for a fracture to not heal after all this time. He asked if I did all the typical things – wearing the boot, staying off the foot, etc. I hate to think I kept this thing from healing because I didn’t do enough of that. I’ll have to ask the next time I see him. Or maybe it’s moot. I’m seeing a rheumatologist next week, and after that, the next consideration is surgery. Which would be scary – bone graft, screws, etc. == I haven’t been out for any bike rides recently. I hope the weather permits a ride soon. == Yeh, finding the right personal trainer would be the key. I’ve taken group fitness classes with a couple at the recplex and neither were the type that I could work with. One was flakey and hyper and the other is too zen, LOL. At this other fitness center I currently use, the one trainer/employee is the one that makes the sounds when he was doing his own workouts. Nope. Ceejay – How was lunch with your friend? == I hope you’re ready for your houseguests. == Please don’t do anything strenuous outdoors – you don’t need to have more allergy issues. == Ouch! How’s the toe today??

Susie – So glad to hear DH is doing well!!

Hellos to the rest of you!

==

Sort of distracting around here today – the movers are here to pack up the department file drawers. Too bad for the boss – he was still squirreling away papers in those department drawers…not anymore! Tomorrow it’s just our personal spaces, which we pack up ourselves. Workout yesterday wasn’t the greatest – the stair climbing machine took it out of me first thing – started off too fast, got an unnecessary phone call from bf, ended up doing more time than I intended, etc. After about 12 minutes of that I moved to the upright bike for 15 min. and that was it for cardio. I did some mat work – pushups, crunches, lower ab and obliques but not as much as usual, and no plank. Bleh. I have a hair appointment tomorrow evening, so I won’t get to the fc then. But – I have no work on Friday so I’ll try to go in the morning before going shopping with my mother. If nothing else, it’ll be interesting to see how many people use the fc on a weekday morning. Okay, after many stops and starts, I’ll get this posted. Have a good day and stay out of trouble. TTFN!

  Today, 02:44 PM   #9  

Annie - Indiana

 Join Date: Aug 2004

Location: Indianapolis, IN

Posts: 5,527

S/C/G: 303/143/165

Height: 5'9"

Not in a great place at the moment. Nothing on the job end date yet but I expect it anytime soon. Boss is asking for things from me that are not due until the end of the month. Me thinks he wants them before the transition. I sent him an email and asked if he knew something I did not as he was quite anxious for things. Nothing back yet. Usually I am begging for receipts and numbers for reports. Weird.

C had a cancerous spot removed from his back this morning. Also got a shot of some sort for exzema (sp) that is supposed to clear it right up. C also got 4 injections of something into the cancerous spot. That better be it as we will soon not have insurance.

I started a AA workshop last night. Seems to be a good one. It is called the 12 and 12. (Step work). I really need it not that I am having issues with drinking just that I need "my kind" of people in my life right now.

HAPPY...stop volunteering, I think mentally and physically it is all taking a toll on you. Retirement is supposed to be about you not the rest of the world that annoys you. Yes, I have applied for other positions elsewhere but nothing yet. Only been 3 working days.

DEE..how is kitty?

SHADDIE...busy as a beaver per your norm. I would have to guzzle expresso to keep up with you.

LAURA...moving is quite a mess maker. Even when you think you have it all organized the movers make a mess. Good Luck.

SUSIE...glad to hear DH is doing so well. Genny too! Keep working on YOU!

CEEG...hope you are feeling better head and toe. I did the same thing to my little toe just before vacation and then again once we got home. Could barely stand to wear shoes on that foot.

Sorry if I missed anyone. My brain is real scattery. hugs all.

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Source: https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/support-groups/316036-2018-leg-4-worldly-chicks-transformation.html

[guardiandae]

OKAY it’s time for that write up about my trip to Boston

aka Why I’m Glad I’m Still Alive and also Dae Makes Bad Life Choices And Needs To Be Grounded :c 

(long, long post)

okay so, my friend H takes a trip down to Boston every year to visit her friend D who goes to college there. She invited me to go a few days beforehand, and as luck would have it I managed to arrange to have Friday & Saturday off work, and Sunday closing shift, so I could make it down there and back.

Of course, I had a runny nose and stuff beforehand... and then the night before (Thursday night, I think) I had a really hard time at work bc I felt feverish... I got home and my temp went up from 99.6 (which is already 100% a fever for me, my temp runs low) to 101.3 during the night. I kept waking up every three hours, and I had to get a bag of ice to press against my head. I went to bed early but slept in longer than I expected so I got like 13 hours of sleep and felt a lot better in the morning, aside from a sore throat. Actually, my throat does this fun thing where from time to time, it will close up on me and I can’t breathe. It can happen even from drinking water. So I took cough syrup and my throat closed up. Yikes. No more cough syrup for me, just cold & flu tablets! I can’t remember the other incident, maybe I drank something harsh, but I remember it did that twice, two times in two days. So, yeah. Gotta be careful what I drink with this sore throat.

Friend wants me to spend Friday night at her house so we can leave at 3am Saturday. So I go to H’s house, with her boyfriend T. My throat is like, raw as fuck. We hang out, they pack, and we all take a nap before we leave. I get like another 3 hours of sleep, then we all get up and hit the road.

We pick up T’s friend, S.  My friend H keeps trying to hook me up with S despite the fact that I am 1. gay 2. asexual 3. not interested in douchebags. And she’s been teasing me about the fact that, S and I will have to share a bed at the hotel. My god. Mind you, the plan she has in Boston is to take me to a strip club and I’m like, sdgkdfkgjd. No? Maybe. No.

We stop at a gas station and I get myself a big powerade for my RAW AS FUCK throat. Swallowing is seriously painful at this point. My friend swaps seats to sit beside me in the back, so now T and S are in the front. THEY FUCKING START CHAINSMOKING ALL THE WAY DOWN. So they have their windows cracked, freezing cold air pouring in, secondhand smoke making my eyes water and lungs burn, all the way down. Maybe at most they would stop for two minutes and then, boom, another FUCKING cigarette. On top of that, they listened to really gross rap music on the way down, like violent, sexually-explicit, drug-endorsing songs that were just honestly annoying lyrics aside, total crap, lol.

My friend and I show each other memes (she pronounces it me-me and I think it’s too funny to correct her) all the way down. We arrive at her friend D’s campus at about 6am. He has keys to all the buildings and has to make rounds, so we’re going to walk with him all across his campus.

D is a really interesting dude. My friend H told me, “he’s a bible-thumper” beforehand and I was like, eh. great. But he’s this 40-ish year old guy going to a religious college studying to be a minister. He’s super friendly and considerate as soon as we meet him. It’s 6am in January, fairly warm considering the time of year, but I’m still in just my hoodie and SICK, so while I was kind of excited for the experience, my body is so not. We’re going from building to building, up flights of stairs and back down again, and I am wheezing. My voice is pretty rough at this point too.

But let’s talk about the school, and the setting, because... I love it.

In Maine (my state) the trees here are mostly pines, maples, oaks, etc.

But in Boston, I’m not sure what kind of trees they might be, but my gosh. It’s a grey, chilly day (my favorite weather 100% honestly, too bad I was sick) and the trees are bare. Their branches are all twisted in different directions, like the fingers on an old man. Ever seen those kind of forests from creepy horror movies? They are just like that and it’s absolutely gorgeous. Most of the buildings on campus are very old, so some of them still have old fashioned latches, like the thumb-latches in my grandfather’s house.

The other thing I really loved about the campus, is that the students attending are actually very liberal and diverse, despite the religious focus. As D put it later, the other three people in our group, H, T, and S, doubled the population of straight (and cis) students by being on campus. Haha.

Anyway, I survive running around campus, and then we head down to catch the Green Line subway into town. At this point, I really wish I had realized we were going to be gone from the car for several hours, because I would've at least grabbed my hat. :c

This is the first time I've ever been on anything like a subway and I'm so glad that we had D with us to be our guide, because it was so confusing. The car was packed with people because of the Women's March going on. I don't know how this compares to other subways, but this went pretty fast and had a lot of hills and turns, and with every change in momentum I'm hanging onto the rail for dear fucking life trying not to fall over. My friend H has a lot of anxiety, especially around crowds of people, and riding this subway itself, so she is SHAKING and trying really hard to just hold on and get through the ride, and so am I. We get off a big station and decide to go up and walk the rest of the way instead of waiting for the next car, because my friend and I are curious to see the march going on.

We ended up walking around a lottt down all of these different side streets. H, T and S wanted to find a big tall building to go all the way to the top floor and take pictures, so we kept trying to enter different buildings at random, and most of them were locked and one we were politely told to leave, lol.

The whole walking around event was kind of more random than planned... we ended up at Bruins arena which I think was my friend's only actual goal, so she could buy her brother a gift. We saw tons of protesters everywhere and I got one of the pink hats from a nice lady who brought extras. But after that, our wandering was pretty aimless. We headed towards Boston market (still trying to find tall buildings) and accidentally stumbled onto the Holocaust memorial.

H and I were like 'oh... damn' and of course, I had to go in. The memorial consists of four towers made of panes of glass, with steam inside rising up. When I walked into the first one, the panes of glass had quotes from survivors of the Holocaust written on both sides in side, and on every single pane of glass, going up to the sky, there were the serial numbers the nazis tattooed onto people. I took a few pictures, but once I entered that first tower I put my phone away because it just didn't feel right. We walked through and read each quote... I was trying not to cry because the two guys with us (D excluded) were pretty douchey and I wasn't sure they even would, y'know, care. But when I read one of the quotes about the homosexuals being put into the death camps, I definitely cried and I was like, yeah. This is why we fight. This is why we can't stop fighting.

When we left, H was pretty shaken too (the quotes about children were the ones that got to her the most, I think) and D suggested that we head to the farmer's market to try to lighten up the mood. While we were walking there, S decides to ask a question, in a suspiciously condescending tone of voice, "I wonder what the founding fathers would think about all of this."

The rest of us were like, ???  "Think about what?"

S: "You know, the protests that are going on right now."

Guys, my voice was half gone but you know I clapped back.

"They'd probably think that they're exercising their CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS??? What do you think the founding fathers did against the British???"

Then he said something about how, people keep pushing and pushing for more rights, and he thinks that's a bad thing because it just ends up dividing people into more and more different groups and takes away rights from others. At this point I was like, HOLY SHIT, this fucking white boy is one of those people who thinks that EQUAL RIGHTS means his rights are somehow being TAKEN AWAY from HIM. Like, you DO realize that my great-great grandmother and your great-great grandmother didn't have the fucking right to vote??? and in MY lifetime, I had to go fucking vote on my  right to get MARRIED??? It didn't take away SHIT from poor helpless straight white men, it just GAVE more people the SAME FUCKING RIGHTS. HOLY FUCK.

So anyway we headed on to the market area, checked out the Newbury Comics store and I was exciiited bc I found a cute pair of knee-high socks to buy (my new aesthetic). But while in pursuit of my knee-highs, I wandered too close to the Dick's bar, and at this point everyone was ready to drink/eat and had been searching for a bar for a while. There were sooo many to choose from, including really nice looking Irish bars, and historic old bars, which I actually wanted to check out. But which bar did we go to? The fucking cock-themed bar.

They ordered drinks. I just sat by them kind of uncomfortably bc everything is not only "I love dicks" but the mascot is a sleezy overweight balding man and the waitress makes fart jokes. Like. For real. But I'm watching the tv, making small talk with D (who is awesome) and H, while S and T get drinks and fries. Some guy brings his CHILD into this establishment, and is apparently very familiar with their theme bc he plays right along with the waitress's fart jokes like he sees her every Saturday or something. What the hell. Then the party at the opposite end starts putting on these huge condom hats made out of white paper. I can hear a child crying on the other side, maybe the same kid. Why the fuck. And then the waitress starts kind of badgering ME now, like, "Why are you just sitting there without a drink?" I tell her, in my really hoarse voice, "If I have any alcohol I'm pretty sure I will stop breathing" and she's just like "Well it's not like you can't have a water or a juice"  (me: where the fuck is there water or juice advertised ANYWHERE on this shitty menu??? also the food was ridiculously overpriced otherwise I would've been happy to order >_< )  and then I look over and realize that, S has already had two beers, but he JUST ordered a fucking THIRD. Now I'm angry and I tell my friend I don't wanna sit in this (shitty) bar all day, so I'm going to head to the comic store again.

Comic store is right across the street.... but... I'm legitimately pissed off right now, so as soon as I step outside I'm like, actually, lol, fuck off, bye, I'm gone.

And I just keep walking, back the way we came in. I sit down at a bench for a while, half thinking that D or H had followed me, but nobody had. So I'm like, cool, and contemplating actually buying a train ticket home if I had to. But I'm sick as fuck and my legs are killing me and my lungs are wheezing and it's cold and I know that no train goes all the fucking way home, so I'm like, :)))

I decided to go and see something that *I* wanted to see so I looked at my phone and saw the Samuel Adams statue was nearby. They texted me "where are you" and I told them Sam Adams (of course, knowing them they probably looked for a damn bar). But I got lost getting to the statue, lmao, bc it was RIGHT BESIDE ME and I was expecting something larger and headed towards a crowd of people instead. By the time I circled back, I hung up on like three phone calls and ignored several texts, just texted back again "sam adams" when they asked where I was. Took a picture of the statue, then sat down again and waited. Still more texts and calls to not respond to. Finally I was really annoyed but got up to go back to the bar and was thinking, if they aren't here, I'm fucking off again, lol. But they were there and ... my friend H was in tears.

Uh oh. Nice going, Dae.

I put my frustration aside and just fell back into step... she didn't talk to me for a little while. I felt like such an asshole. It was only later I saw some texts that hadn't come through then... half of them already had their phones dead, the others were almost dead, and they'd texted me that they were going to head to the car without me and pick me up in a couple hours. Of courese, my phone was low battery too. I almost fucking stranded myself in Boston, extremely sick, with no cellphone, please ground me.

We went back to the subway (there was another station right near to us, thankfully, so no long walk), and rode all the way back to our original station. Then we had to trek back UP the hill we came down from the campus... I was wheezing hard.

Everyone crashed in D's room for a while. I collapsed on the couch and they all went into the bathroom to smoke pot. I considered leaving to the car to get my phone charger but was like, if I do they'll probably think I bailed again. and then I could literally hear them talking about me, and S saying, "I bet when we come out, she'll be gone again" and I just... felt so angry at him but also like such an asshole bc I'm sick and having a miserable time when I WANT to have fun but instead I'm being a bitch and I can't help it. And they want to drink and get high and I don't like either of those things even when I'm NOT sick as a dog and barely able to breathe, so fuck no I'm not doing that, thanks.

I think after that we finally went to our hotel bc it was check in time (3pm). My friend had reserved the room but they wouldn't let her pay because her card didn't have her name on it, and the others only had cash, so I stepped up to put the room on my card. It made me feel better about being there at all, because they literally wouldn't have had a place to stay (this was a fairly long drive away from Boston).

We went out to eat and this is where S shows once again how much of an asshole he is...

I'm not sure WHERE this came from, but out of the blue while we're sitting in this restaurant, S says something like, "If a drunk girl tells me to fuck her and then she passes out, I can tap that without getting in trouble."

Yeah... I'm positive I didn't remember that right but the statement he made didn't make ANY sense.

All four of us (D, H, T, and myself) were like, ???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. That is RAPE.

D and I start trying to explain, for one, UNCONSCIOUS = no, and two, in this hypothetical she gave her "consent" while drunk, and you cannot legally consent while drunk!

"But what if we're both drunk"

We're trying to explain that technically neither could consent, it's a risky situation, and then he goes,

"So what if my ex texts me and says 'come tie me up and have your way with me'."

D is like, "I can't even begin with how many variables there are in that situation."

Me: "It depends. Is she sober? Is it actually HER texting? Is she going to say no when you get there?"

S: "She'd have to prove that it wasn't her texting..."

We kept talking about this and trying to explain like, the limits of consent and finally T is like, "Why are we talking about this?"

D and I: "Because it came up and it's worth talking about! There are a lot of people who don't understand."

But anyway, we pretty quickly dropped the topic, but I cannot get over the fact that S randomly said that he'd fuck an unconscious woman. And I am expected to share a bed with him at the hotel.

I was super super pissed with S at this point like, this actual FUCKBOY, first he thinks that equal rights means his rights get taken away, now he's stated that he'd rape somebody?? like?? get the fuck away from me, permanently.

We had to drive D back to his room and it's dark outside now.

I haven't yet mentioned, but as beautiful as Boston is to walk around, the roads are crazy and driving is a fucking nightmare. There are some normal streets but almost everything connects directly onto a highway (at least where we were... and I'm not sure if highway is the right word bc fuck if I know anything about driving but they are SCARY multi-lane roads). The highways are like 4, 3, or 5 fucking lanes of people driving like there's no speed limit, cars constantly switching lanes and assholes flying past us.

All of that is scary enough, but worse is that:

- T is the one driving, because H is too scared to drive in Boston traffic. - T does not have a license. - The car's left blinker doesn't fucking work, so switching lanes to the left is a deathwish. - Did I mention the drinking and getting high? Yeah. - Also, the chainsmoking resumes and I am in fucking misery.

We manage to drop D off, and they had mentioned the fact that they HAVE the lightbulb for the back blinker, but didn't take the time to install is before leaving. D had mentioned that he could probably do it. So I'm like, hey, how about we do that?  D takes a look and realizes that it'd take some time to take apart, but he'd be able to do it with some assistance. T is like, nah it'd take some work, and I'm disheartened (bc I want this car to be as legal as fucking possible bc if we get pulled over I'm 100% sure that I'm fucked on getting home, best case scenario. Worst case scenario, I might charged with something just for being with these guys. Idk if that's even rational but honestly.) but they agree to just deal with it later.

We get back to the hotel and H and I decide to go swimming in the pool. It's honestly one of the highlights of the trip for me bc I rarely get to go swimming, so we enjoyed ourselves for a while, talking about how T and S were kind of annoying both of us. The guys were getting alcohol and stuff while we swam, and they drank some and then joined us. It was kind of funny bc H had worn her bikini bottom but also swim trunks over them, and S didn't have anything to wear to swim in, so she gave him her trunks. They fit him so tightly lmaoo. The guys were splashing around, goofing off, and at this point I'm less angry and more just like, letting it all go, I know I don't like S whatsoever, he's fucking dumb, but I don't want to be hostile and I'm trying as much as possible to not be a huge bitch and a wet blanket, so it's whatever. We joked around a lot, and had fun, and finally got out of the pool when it was closing. But it was really awkward bc they had to go to change and T had gone into the women's room with H so I had to stand outside and wait to change my clothes... and I could hear H yelling at him about... peeing wildly everywhere? Oh my god. I don't even wanna know. It was one of those moments where I was like, there is nudity beyond both of these doors and I am probably forever going to be not comfortable with that. It's kind of a bizarre and shitty realization that everyone else is on a different plane of existence. Like, I'm the weird one because I don't wanna see dicks flopping around. Huh.

Rinsed off, changed clothes, went back upstairs, blow dried my hair and flopped onto the bed. At this point, I'm physically worn down but.... not.... tired. So I'm not sure if I'm going to fall asleep. But they want to run around, and ask about the strip club plans, and my friend is like, "Dae said she didn't want to go" (which is true, I told her no because I'm very sick and felt uncomfortable about the whole idea anyway) but the guys are like, "You're killing us, we're not going?" and she's like, "Are we?" and I'm so sick and tired at this point that I'm like, "Actually yeah let's go" and get up and get dressed again, ready to impress, ready to jump in and see some ladies and titties and see how uncomfortable I feel about it all.

We get into the car, and all of us have been trying to see what the nearest strip club is... there really isn't one. What the nearest bar is... eh. We're trying to find something really close by, because the guys have been drinking and T has no LICENSE and the car blinker is broken so instead I'm like, "Where's the nearest Walmart?"  over 100 miles away jfc. "Where's the nearest target?" Less than a mile away. Awesome! My mood is UP bc we're going to Target, now this is my idea of a good time.

Yeah, no. My phone is a piece of SHIT and they refuse to even look at it, but their phone won't update fast enough while we're driving and we CAN'T FUCKING MERGE LEFT because we'll be killed in this traffic, so we have to go to the right. We see other stores and want to go to them, but the problem is, when we turned right we already missed that opportunity. And this road merges directly into a fucking interstate. And we cannot turn off of it. And now we are going 80 mph in the wrong direction and have to take the next off ramp.

For the next fucking 30 minutes at least, we are desperately trying to get our fucking phones to tell us where we are and where we need to go. Everything loops in circles, because of the highways and off ramps. We keep missing fucking turns and ending up in even more of a tangled mess. Our phones did not charge up much at the hotel and are on the verge of dying once again and we cannot fucking turn LEFT. T and S are getting frustrated, I'm convinced I'm going to fucking die, and H is having an anxiety attack, texting me like, "This is my car and if we crash everyone is going to get hurt and it's my fault" and I'm like... can we please fucking stop somewhere and just fix the fucking light.

By the time we finally make it back to where we belong, we just go straight to the hotel. So fucking much for strip clubs, or bars, or even Target. Fuck that noise. We aren't driving anywhere after all, we all agree on that and we're all really frustrated and stressed.

I ask again like, even if it takes a while we should really fix the light bc driving down to Mass we had the same problem, and we're going to keep having that problem until we fix it, but the guys are like, we'd have to take apart the whole back end, if it were a quick fix we'd have done it already. In the daylight it'll be okay, it's really just at night that's the worst because all they see is our tail lights, and a lack of left blinker means someone might get killed. So I'm like, alright and let it go.

We get snacks from the vending machines, and crash in the hotel room again. Despite all the hyped talk from the guys about drinking and drugs (seriously, S was like, "Let's go  get some ecstacy or heroin" before we left on that horrific ride, and H was like "UHHHH NO, NOT HAPPENING."  He also talked about forcing girls to choke on his dick, so if anyone was wondering if he learned anything from the Consent Discussion, the answer is, probably no. And people wonder why I have sex anxiety jfc.)

Thankfully, I crashed on one bed, and H, T, and S all crashed on the other bed... probably bc they didn't want to catch my germs tbh. I heard S saying "bacterial pneumonia" to his phone.

Sleep was... hellish. I woke up at 4am, SHAKING uncontrollably and had to turn up the heat for a while. I think I was running a fever so it didn't help me at all.. after that I had to press a cold drink against my forehead and didn't fall asleep again until 6am, and we all get up around 8:50am.

Btw, the hotel was pretty shitty... a bunch of ants were under my shoes at the indoor pool when I picked my shoes up... they were coming up from the vents because I guess I stepped in something sugary. H freaked out a bit. Then in our 3rd floor room, there was another of those ants on my pillow. Nice. The breakfast service was shitty. The only edible thing for me was the apple juice, the rest of it was awful cheap stuff. We went to burger king instead, which H had wanted for breakfast anyway. My voice was nearly gone at this point and I had to type my order onto my phone and let the cashier read it. The burger king was also super shitty lmao it was under construction but the bathrooms were just, awful and unkept. We realized we had to head straight home now in order to get back in time for everything H and I had to do, so we got straight onto the highway.

Once again... terrifying traffic, and the difficulty of merging to the left. Every time T had to merge, I had to close my eyes and post facebook statuses like "pray for me because I am going to die." At this point, T and S are like, "We should've just fixed the light before we left" and I am like, internally fucking screaming BECAUSE I SAID THAT ALREADY OH MY GOD. Also, CUE THE CHAINSMOKING AGAIN.

I got dropped off directly at my work a couple hours before my shift, and then worked my closing shift.

Remember, at this point I've had very little sleep and fevers every night since Friday... my voice is just a whisper, I spent hours walking around Boston, hours awake at night, I should be exhausted but I am wide the fuck awake. By the time I finally got home, I still didn't even fall asleep until almost 2am.

So yeah.... I'm not even sure how to summarize my trip to Boston and how it made me feel. Everything was really random and accidental. It took a long time for it to occur to me, holy shit I am in BOSTON, historic Boston, and should be taking pictures and seeing the Freedom Trail and actually interesting stuff like that, but it didn't seem to occur to any of us until the day we had to go back and H wwas like, "I wish I'd taken more pictures."  I wish I had too, especially of the march, but since I ws sick before I even left, I actually wasn't even aware that the marches were going on, I was completely out of the loop. It's something I was super excited about and would've never been able to go to normally, but somehow I accidentally happened to end up there at the right time.

In all it was, frustrating, miserable, beautiful, surprisingly nice and diverse, historic, terrifying, stupid, and extremely lucky. Lucky that we managed to arrange the trip on short notice, lucky that we didn't die on the way down, lucky that I happened to be there for a huge protest event that I was able to partake in at least a tiny bit, lucky that I didn't have to go to the strip club after all, lucky that we didn't get arrested, lucky that we made it back safely, lucky that I didn't chop S's dick off and shove it down his throat. I think I might've used up all of the luck for the next ten years, and I'm a bit frightened.

For those keeping score at home, 

Reasons Why Dae Needs to be Grounded:

- going on a trip with sketchy drug dealing wannabe-gangsters who are racist, transphobic, homophobic, misogynistic dumbasses - going on this trip while extremely sick - ditching my friend and the group while extremely sick, in a strange city, with all of our cell phones dying, and ignoring their calls - swimming in the pool while extremely sick (I broke the pool rules whoops) - getting BACK into the defective car with a driver who had been drinking and has no license, at night - going to work directly after this trip, while extremely sick - still trying to talk while my voice is 99% gone - not cleaning my room (it’s so messy help) - staying up late at night to type this instead of sleeping

and now my throat feels much better but I’ve 100% lost my voice and can only communicate through strained whispers and interpretive dance.

but I have tomorrow off and I plan to finally.... rest. 

assuming that I can even fall asleep.