#loki: ''....I changed my mind this is the WORST thing that's ever happened to me''

[statisticalcats2]

omg I just realized at some point after Tony and Peter have gotten married, Tony is absolutely gonna call Loki "mom" because it's too funny to pass up gfyrheiuwdwi

[vines-of-mine]

Awakening as an Alhaitham Fictionkin

I'd sort of felt this coming for some time, though I couldn't put a name to it. It started when I realized Sumeru was my hearthome. The first thought I had was "Well, it has to be psychological because if fiction can be real somewhere then I have to change how I view fanfic writing and that's scary. It also can't be related to a kintype because that's new and scary." I've started to learn that when my first thought upon learning something about myself is what it can't be, it's just what it is in disguise.

The rest of the post will be under the cut, because this is a WALL of text. This was hours of meditation summarized, so it's a pretty big post.

So I eventually reshaped my worldview to be a little bigger. I may have needed a lot of help from Loki, and it took some time, but honestly it's the most on-brand worldview I could adopt as a witch that works with Loki. Fiction just being reality somewhere else, infinite realities that sometimes find each other in fiction; it's a very chaotic idea, and a very Loki way to handle reality.

I knew it was a kintype, I just didn't know what. Of course; I started in Sumeru. I don't use meditation in my practice as much as I would like to, especially since it typically gets me some pretty good results. In part, I'm pretty sure that's why I don't utilize it more often. It gets... overwhelming. Plus, I'm still dismantling internalized societal bullshit that tells me that my own spirituality is "crazy." That being said, I meditated with one major location in Sumeru in mind at a time.

First, the city. It was mostly things I had already known, but this time it had this air of... an almost oppressive atmosphere, because of the Akademiya. I hesitate to say that I had a negative view of the Akademiya, because I think there's room for much more nuance than that. It's just something that, no matter where you are in Sumeru, you can feel the weight of. We are the nation of wisdom; where answers are sought. If we don't have them, no one does. The worst thing one can hear in Sumeru is "I don't know," and it's also the worst thing one can be forced to admit.

Then there was Ghandharva Ville. It was....interesting, in a way I have yet to figure out. I would say it was an experience of Tighnari, if I thought I might also be him, but I feel very strongly that that's not right. I felt an ear flick when a twig snapped in the ambience video I was listening to, and suddenly I was tuned in harder than I've ever been before. I got overwhelmed. My senses were heightened, but they weren't in my room anymore. I could feel the breeze, feel everything happening in the forest around me. It was nonhuman in a way I've never been before, something far more animalistic than my draconic kintype. It felt like I was aware of the tiniest creatures scuttling on the forest floor and the birds in the trees, all of it. I had ears and a tail, which is yet another reason why I'd say I would call this an experience of Tighnari except I've confirmed with my cards (tarot for those confused) about 15 times that, yes, it was an experience of mine as Alhaitham. I had ears and a tail, supposedly, though I'm not sure what kind. Then why are the Seelie court statues winged? I have questions. So many of them.

Gods, this is such a wall of text and I haven't even gotten to the parts where things became clear. I apologize for the attention span of anyone who stumbles into this.

Vimara village was uneventful aside from the detail that I had boots, which was ridiculously specific and a random thing to be so sure of. Pardis Dhyai was where things got interesting. First I was kicked out of my own meditation because Sumerians apparently ward their conversations and I wasn't invited to my own damn memory (long story, I'm not bothering with the details unless someone wants them.) When I went back, I was brought into a back room for scholars by someone that I couldn't tell who at the time. By the time I realized it was Kaveh and got some details of his appearance, it was clear that the fuzzy conversation was frustrating to me as it happened. He eventually moved from across from me to beside me, and put his hand on my arm and was so clearly worried. It was some sort of "We're here for you" conversation. ("We" including Cyno and Tighnari, because we were at the very least close. Possibly others, but I'm not sure.)

I'll be honest, I panicked and left because it felt like a private moment and then I felt like a bit of an idiot when I realized that it's my own memory. Whoops. Oh well! If I was avoidant of feelingsy things in that lifetime, I'm allowed to be in this one too. Rip me.

By then I was sure in my identity as Alhaitham. I knew who and what I am, and after a break I knew exactly what the next memory was going to be. Next meditation was me talking to Kaveh in our home, and telling him what I was. Because I'm not canon-compliant Alhaitham, no, that'd be too easy- I come with Seelie baggage! Yippeeeee /s

I'll leave the explanations to a minimum, but the way I work as a Seelie is that I do still have a Court. Not a statue, but a person. Mine is Kaveh. I can't sleep, save for when my body hits utter exhaustion or when I'm near my Court. I spent a lot of my early life in Teyvat sleeping in classes I shared with him and generally infuriating my teachers by getting high grades anyway.

Teling Kaveh what I was/am, and what he was to me, though... didn't go particularly well. I don't think I understood then, but looking back at it is pretty clear. He just kept emphasizing his own autonomy and personhood, that he was his own person and he had a life outside of me. Back then I was agreeing, caught off guard by the reaction, not sure what he was getting at. Now I can see that it was because to a human, "You are my Court" doesn't translate so clearly as "You are my soulmate" so much as it seems objectifying, like a demand that one be a resting place.

It's not a particularly satisfying place to "leave off" but it's where I am. I have no idea how that turned out, but I trust that it ended well somehow. No matter how it ended, really, I'm in this life now. So now I'm working on integrating what I know about myself, and hopefully this weekend I'll be able to read or do some project to feel more myself.

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

'Loki' Head Writer on Season 2 Finale and MCU Future (esquire.com)

I think this more than enough proof how unsalvable this entire series always was going to be. Because they made the TVA fascists, they were based off of 1984 and had straight up nazi coding. Remember all the art promotion? But then they honestly call Mobius someone who's like a company man, who sometimes breaks the rules, but really he just wants to live his life. Mobius was a fascist for hundreds of years and never spared a single person or even tried thinking of another way. I don't understand how some can be so unaware of what they've written.

Oof, that interview was painful to read.

The bit about Mobius just comes to prove these people don't understand the ramifications of the stuff they have written. We saw Mobius as that "company man" in S1 and I have no idea what they have done with him in S2, but if he didn't have his own beliefs challenged then this character is in the exact same spot as the first S1 episode.

Most of the time, these writers keep moving their characters from one place to another but when it comes to characterization, they always end up the same way they started. The character is taken from point A to B but... has said character really learnt anything about themselves? Or are they just going through the motions, reacting to stuff happening to them and taking on roles that don't ever develop their own personal story?

Mobius is never challenged, he was a company man who in his own words didn't get hung up on "believe, not believe", he just "accepted what is" - which basically means he took everything the TVA said to him as the absolute truth - so he NEEDS to have those beliefs challenged. He has to be written as someone who feels guilt, regret, remorse, who understands his role in the machine, and who is changed by the story. But the writers never did that because it wasn't in their plans to tell a story against the TVA - as Wright said, the TVA is their Shield. They're the good guys! 🤦‍♀️

Now, what Martin says about Loki: "The big idea was taking Loki from a lowercase-g god, to a capital-G God" is slightly insulting. Loki IS a God. But the rest is even worse: "[...] he gets his throne—but it's not a throne he wants anymore. This is a duty. He's doing this so everyone else can have their lives. He's giving up the thing that he wants most so that everyone else can have their free will."

So, that's basically the worst possible story you could tell about him? He "gives up" what he wants most? So this is yet another case where Loki doesn't get what he wants? He gets a throne, that he never wanted in the first place and we've known that since Thor1, and he has to sacrifice himself, his life, his future, his needs... so that everybody else can have their lives? It's a confirmation of this...

I don't know what to tell you. As a Loki fan that is not what I wanted to see. I haven't watched S2 so I have no idea if he takes on that role willingly or not, but this is Loki sacrificing himself yet again while those who did A LOT more damage than he ever did get away with it scot-free. And probably even the TVA is saved and protected and not burnt to the ground, right? Ugh.

Oh, and there's one more thing that blows my mind in that interview. This part:

Q: On a macro level, where would you say Loki Season Two fits in within the overall Marvel story? Eric Martin: "I actually don't know what the overall story is going to be. Things are so siloed off."

Marvel should be telling the head writers of their series what the overall story is. The MCU is supposed to be a "connected" universe. It doesn't surprise me that the latest phases are all over the place when these people have no idea what the main story is.

[anukulee]

Go Home With Him (Loki One Shot)

A/N: Keep in mind this was the first Loki one shot I ever wrote and released, six months ago on Quotev. So please excuse the poor writing, I promise the idea will be worth it.

Drinks with the other avengers weren't Loki's idea of fun. He could barely tolerate some of them normally, but drinking sounded like the worst idea. The only avengers he truly got around with were Wanda Maximoff, Vision, Bucky, Banner, and Rogers at times. He didn't dislike the Parker kid, but he wasn't the problem it was mainly Stark, Romanoff, and sometimes Barton. Stark had been a pain in Loki's behind ever since New York had it not been for Thor Loki was sure that Stark would ensure that he remain trapped in his room except for missions. Much like he had tried to do with Maximoff when she first came. So while Loki would rather skip drinks he was going all because of Emilie Harrison. She was the fire to his ice, his other half even if she insisted on fighting him, she was still there especially when Loki had first arrived at the compound. She was the one who had seen him for his attack on New York as she seemed to take an interest in psychology. Loki was her favorite subject as she would ask questions about what it was like on Asgard and what they thought. Loki was his usual grumpy self through and was bickering with her. Yet for all of he had fallen for the stubborn girl who had made a place in his heart despite Loki's very disinterest in the idea of drinking. As of now all of the avengers were in a bar that Tony had rented out in case things got chaotic as often did with them. This is where everything began.....

Loki mostly chooses to be near Thor not because Thor was his favorite company. Thor could get on his nerves despite how much Loki loved the oaf. He was better than the current options: Stark, Barton, and Roger. Wanda and Emilie were sitting together sharing shacks the sound of Emilie's laughter was one he could hear even from where he was. Hearing the laugh and the way that Loki's heart was doing flips he knew he was doomed. Norns I am screwed for a Midgardian of all people he thought. As he let out a cruel chuckle at the irony of this. Thor had already cracked open some of the Asgardian ale he brought along given the Midgardian drinks didn't fill them as much. Once Loki let out a cruel laugh Thor nudged his brother Loki wearing a smile on his face. "Brother care to tell me why you have that look on your face."

  "You must be mistaken brother."

  "Brother I may not be as smart as you, but I do know what love looks like."

  "Love and me you are mistaken brother."

"I don't think I am brother. I think you are interested in her, so you have two choices you can continue to try and hide this from me or you could admit it."

  "Why would I do that?"

  "Well, that leads us to our second set of choices brother. You can either tell her or I can tell her."

  "You wouldn't brother."

  "But I would because finically brother if I can see pinning others will surely notice it. So would you rather it be me to notice of the man of iron?"

  "You I suppose, but it's not much better."

"Well brother what could be the worst that could happen?"

  "Brother surely you aren't that dumb. Do you not forget I am half frost giant, I am the very monster parents tell their children at night, and I tried to destroy your previous Midgard for a throne."

"I know brother, but let us not forget you had things going on and you do know that despite your fights with Lady Emilie she was the one who noticed your change in eyes something that not even I noticed brother. I am the only few who can see through your illusions."

  "Brother, do you not forget how you always fall for my double appearance?"

  "Yes, but other than that I can see through you brother. Besides you could always blame it on the ale." At this Thor picked up a bottle and held it up. Knowing if Loki had a chance to back out he would take it. Despite all of the front that Loki put up he was still like any other man who could be nervous around their crush.

  "Fine if you stop pestering me, brother. I swear if she rejects me you will own me and you know what happens when you own me. I also get to erase her memories and I will expect no protests."

  "Fine brother, but I think you might be surprised by her feeling."

  "Whatever you say brother now hand me that ale. I need a little drink for this."

Thor got a spare glass and poured a small glass as Loki took it and drank from it. He took a step toward Emilie, who was now alone as Wanda was elsewhere.  His heart pounding so hard as he did. He even went so far as to conjure her favorite flowers. As Loki was trying to think of something to say anything, he just said the first thing on his mind when nothing came. "Come home with me."

  "Loki seriously," Emilie said with a small chuckle.

  "Not Loki."

  "If you aren't Loki then who are you?"

  "The man who is going to marry you."

  "Is that so?"

  "Yes."

 At that Emilie got a serious look on her face. "Seriously Loki, I am not in the mood for jokes. Besides, I have met far too many men like you. People who say sweet words, but can't uphold them."

"What if I could darling?"

 "Loki I know you and I know that you aren't serious. So enough with the jokes, because it isn't funny."

  "And if it isn't a joke what would you say?"

  At that Emilie's face changed once more to one full of hurt. Something that Loki had no desire to see on her face. Something that he had never wanted to see on her face especially put on his face. "Come on Loki we both know how this is. You somehow found out my feelings for you and some reason despite my protection of you. Still, you seek to torment me."

"Darling what would make you think that I would do that to you of all people?"

 “Perhaps because no matter how much time passes. You still manage to surprise me."

  "Well, darling maybe I can show you that I am different when it comes to you."

  "Oh, how would you do that oh great, Loki burdened with glorious purpose?"

  "I regret mind-controlling Barton."

  "It's too late now isn't it sweetie?"

At this Loki's face went red he couldn't remember the last time he had been called anything sweet. "Perhaps it is so what do you say would you be up for marrying me?"

  "No."

At this Loki, face fell in fear of rejection. "I suppose I will take my leave you can forget this ever happened." At this Emilie grabbed his hand stopping him from doing so.

  "While I might have said no that doesn’t mean that it will never happen.”

 “If not never then what do you mean?”

” It means why don't we try some dates before we decide on marriage? You may decide that don't want to marry me."

"I highly doubt that darling I am far too gone on you now. If anything you may lose interest after all I am the monster parents tell their children at night," Loki added with a cruel laugh at the end. As Emilie got a look of concern on her face, yet in it hid something that Loki almost could see as love.

  "You aren't a monster Loki, that was just the thing that was controlling you honestly if anyone is really to blame it is your adopted father gaslighting."

  "Seriously you accuse the allfather of gaslighting? Isn’t that a mortal term?”

 “Yes, it is, and rightfully so.”

Upon hearing this Loki let out a light chuckle. “Darling, I don't think anyone has said that."

  "Well, then I suppose I am the first.”

 “And that is a good thing?”

 “Yes because your adoptive father gaslighted you rather than see how great you are despite his shitty parenting."

  "How great can I be if I am merely the god of mischief?"

  "Loki you were on Captain's side when it came to Bucky. You helped Wanda settle in and even defended her when you didn't have to. While you do choose to be grumpy and closed, you are still there for those you care for including your brother.”

  “Am I?”

 “Yes especially with Thor despite you constantly trying to stab him.”

  “Well then keep going what else might you see in me,” Loki asked taking great joy in hearing such praise from a woman such as her. 

 “Fine but you better not get a big head about this.”

 “Me never you wound me.”

 “Whatever you say.”

 “Now continue,” Loki prompted.

”As I was saying, you are smart, well-read, and always find something to say. Not to mention once they get close enough you accept others for who they are and if I must say you aren't horrible to look at."

  "I don't know if I should be offended or not by that comment darling, but I suppose I will take it."

  "Good and besides if there is anyone who should be worried it should be me.”

”And why is that?”

“Because I can't seem to hold someone down for more than six months,” she said in a teasing voice Loki could hear the slightest bit of hurt behind it.

So upon hearing this, Loki took Emilie's hand into his and put his lips to it. "That's their fault darling because you are mind-blowing to me. You accept everyone for who they are. You never just see one side I mean it's not just me but Bucky, Maximoff, Barton, and others. Sure you are stubborn but I love how you always have something to say and that you aren't afraid to speak up when needed. You are so intelligent, always having something to say, forever surprising me, not to mention you aren't bad-looking, darling."

   "Is that so?"

 "It is so what do you say marry me?"

At this Emilie let out an eye roll that had love in it despite eye roll. "As I said before mischief dates before marriage."

 "Fine, I suppose I can take it. So how about we get out of here and have one right now?"

  "Right now?"

  "Yes darling or did you mishear me?"

  "But what about the others?"

  "I am sure Stark will handle it."

  "I suppose but still...."

At this Loki unleashed his secret weapon his puppy dog eyes. "Don't make me beg darling?"

A smile slowly crossed Emilie's face seeing this. "Maybe I should make you beg, people would love to see it for a change."

  "You are like me aren't you darling?"

  "Perhaps you have corrupted me." Emilie's voice was full of teasing and love.

  "Who is to say? So what do you say?"

  "I suppose I can, but break my heart and you will pay."

  "I don't doubt it, darling. So how about we get out here," he said as he offered a hand to her Emilie took it. The moment she did she could hear a loud cry from someone. 

  "I win you own me man of iron."

"Same for me Stark," a female voice said. As Loki and Emilie looked to see that Wanda and Thor were wearing cheeky grins, the others groaned before handing over some money. 

  "You bet on us," Loki and Emilie said in unison.

  "Yes, we were all tired of your pinning, so we figured that someone would need to do something," Tony said.

  "Say that again Stark and what you may call your iron balls might just vanish. How would your partner like that."

  "Not my iron balls," Tony cried as he cupped over his pants. As Loki let out a mischievous laugh Loki may go far, but not even he would take it that far, but it was nice to know he had something on Stark. it could prove useful in the future. 

  "We will deal with you all later right now my love and I have a date to get to," Loki said as he took Emilie out of the place as the cheers of the members filled as they left. Once they left Emilie leaned her head into Loki's shoulder.

  "You thinking what I am thinking?"

  "Who knows love your mind always surprises me."

"I think we should get some money since they choose to bet on us. What do you say?"

  "Sounds good to me, but enough about them why don't we enjoy our date?"

  "Alright, where shall we go the first mischief I don't know what is open this late."

  "Whose to say, but it doesn't matter as long as you come home with me."

@mochie85 @lokisbirdofhermes @lokisprettygirl @lokisgoodgirl

[jazzythursday]

Okay I’m sorry but nothing will ever beat the pure tragic poeticism of that one shot in Thor 2011 of Loki looking down at his hand in total shock during the battle of Jotunheim as he tries to rationalize why This Thing That Is Happening Cannot Be Happening.

(If I may…)

Like, just to reiterate, Frost Giants are able to burn Asgardians through touch alone with severe frostbite that even healing stones can’t fix completely (Or, technically, anyone who isn’t a Frost Giant I guess, but I imagine the results are far worse). And like fuck if that doesn’t say enough. Because those guys are made of some strong stuff.

But Loki fully expecting to burn, doesn’t.

Not only does he not burn, but his arm is forced into a form he’s never taken before, one that he didn’t cause or choose intentionally. It just did it. For him.

HE KNOWS. He knows what it must mean, but the fucking SHOCK of it. It can’t mean that. He must be thinking. It can’t be. But there’s no other immediate explanation!

And he doesn’t have time to think about it. He’s in the middle of a fight! This guys trying to kill him!So he has to snap out of it. And then he goes on to save literally almost EVERYONE ELSE!

But then.

But then.

This fucking tableau. This fucking tableau!!

Look at it! Actually, just stop reading this post and go watch this part of the movie! I won’t even blame you! Like holy fuck.

This shot gets me every time. It (unfortunately) goes by so fast in the actual movie but it is SO GOOD. This just. Dawning horror of taking a moment to process that that really just happened. The breathing. THE BREATHING. And he looks at his arm like it’s not even his. Like it’s something entirely alien to him. Because IT IS.

This kid is not ready for this information. He’s so very much not ready. He’s panicking, he’s in denial about it. He’s questioning absolutely everything he knows about himself and trying to make sense of it against this new reality that he’s just been dropped into. He’s wondering what am I? and formulating an answer that’s impossible to comprehend. And the worst part is, it makes sense.

It makes sense in the most awful way possible. And when that last bit of hope that he might be wrong— that last doubt— dies, when that thin steel rod holding him together finally snaps, he can’t even say that he doesn’t understand. Because, to Loki, this is the confirmation that not only are all his worst fears correct and 100% founded, but that they are a part of him he will never be able to circumvent. It’s all been in vein. And they’ve all known. They’ve known all along.

Everything he’s worked against himself for, everything he’s done, the way people have treated him his whole life, all the things that in his mind make him less than what he’s supposed to be…

And he can’t change a thing.

…Anyways, that shot of him looking at his arm might be one of my favorite cinematic moments of all time, and I’d just like everyone to appreciate it. That’s all.

(Also… how anyone can watch this movie and not view his attack/attempted genocide against Jotunheim as a metaphor for his own self destruction/ self hatred and a manifestation of his inability to accept himself as he is is completely beyond me. But that’s a post for another time.)

[waitimcomingtoo]

The Hint

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Synopsis submitted by @jasmine11685: Peter gets jealous when you have to flirt with someone on a mission

Masterlist

“Wow.”

That was the only word Peter could say as you descended the staircase in a form fitting black dress. The slit up the side added an elegant touch, something needed for the ball you were going to.

“You look pretty “wow” yourself.” You smiled shyly as you lifted the hem of your dress to walk towards him. “The suit is a nice change from the flannels, though I do love those.”

Peter opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no words formed in his brain. As soon as you put your hands on his collar to tuck it under his suit jacket, his name was lost on his and all he knew was yours.

“So this is what it’s like to be speechless.” He chuckled nervously as you straightened his jacket.

“Shut up.” You giggled as your face flushed. “Your ties a little crooked.”

“Thanks.” Peter whispered as you adjusted his tie. “You look beautiful. Like, the kind of beautiful that makes you want to cry when you look at it.”

“Thank you.” You laughed again, out of habit. You looked at Peter through your eyelashes as your shaking hands slid down his jacket.

“Nervous?” He asked softly when he noticed your unsteady demeanor.

“A little.” You smiled weakly. “It’s uh, it’s a shame I’m gonna have to waste all this beautiful on some douche who won’t appreciate it.”

“Well I appreciate it.” Peter assured you. “All of it. What is your mission exactly?”

“I just have to get some information out of Harry Osborn. Apparently he’s the only one who knows what’s his father has been doing up at Oscorp. We have to find out his plans before he does something dangerous. Could you help me with this?” You asked as you handed him a diamond necklace. You turned around and Peter carefully moved your hair off of your back.

“Oh.” He said in surprise as he clasped the necklace around your neck. “And how are you planing on getting that information?”

“I’m gonna flirt with him like my life depends on it.” You said confidently as you turned back around. “Because who knows? It might.”

Peters face twitched in confusion as his eyebrows knit together. He felt a white hot jealousy run all the way to his scalp when he learned about the plan.

“You have to flirt with that asshole?” Peter laughed nervously and cleared his throat. “He’s a total playboy. He’s probably never done his own laundry a day in his life.”

“I think I can handle him.” You winked at him as you touched your your lipstick. “And his laundry.”

“I have no doubt in your abilities. I just wish you didn’t have to use them on him.” Peter said, mostly to himself.

“It’s fine, Pete.” You assured him. “I’m actually excited to do it.”

“Excited?” Peter began to sweat.

“Yeah.” You grinned in excitement. “This is the biggest role I’ve ever had in a mission. I really want to do a good job so I can impress my dad. That means I’m gonna have to pull out my best flirting.”

“Your best flirting?” Peter was really beginning to panic now.

“Yup. I need this boy to fall in love with me.” You told him. “Watch, by the end of the night, he’ll be putty in my hands.”

“I don’t think you should do this, Y/n.” Peter blurted. “I think we should get Natasha or someone else to do it. You shouldn’t have to be the shiny object we use to distract the enemy.”

“I’m fine with it, Pete. My dad didn’t give me this role because I’m pretty. He gave me this role because I have good communication and manipulation skills. Plus, I’m closest to Harry’s age. It all works out.”

“He could be really dangerous.” Peter protested. “You could get hurt.”

“I’m really dangerous.” You stated. “And he’s definitely gonna get hurt.”

“Just be careful, okay?” Peter sighed, making you look at him. You walked over to him and cupped his face in your hands, making his breath hitch in his throat.

“I got this, Petey.” You said gently. “I know you’re worried about me, but you have no reason to be. I can do this. And you, Sam, and my dad are gonna be listening the whole time. We’re gonna catch this guy. I know it.”

“I just don’t want you getting hurt. If things go wrong-“

“They won’t.” You cut him off. “Go ask my dad. He drew up every possible outcome of this plan and they all end with Harry getting his ass kicked.”

“Okay.” Peter nodded and gave you a smile. “I’ll go talk to Mr. Stark.”

~

“You just had to believe in her.” Peter grouched as he barged into Tony’s office. “You just had to recognize her talent and trust her enough to carry the mission.”

“I’m sorry. Is that anger directed towards moi?” Tony touched a hand to his chest. “Are you mad at me?”

“Yeah, I am.” Peter said. “You know I like Y/n and sent her off to flirt with the richest playboy in New York City?”

“Hey.” Tony said sternly. “Playboy is my thing.”

“Why did you have to make her do this job?” Peter whined. “She’s gonna fall in love with him and forget all about me.”

“He’s a criminal, Peter.” Tony reminded him.

“So? Girls love that!” He protested. “You remember how she acted around Loki.”

“Don’t remind me.” Tony rolled his eyes. Peters face shifted back to his forlorn expression and Tony saw how much this was hurting him.

“Look, kid, don’t sweat this mission.” He said as he put a hand on Peters shoulder. “She’s just gonna get the information she needs from Harry and you’ll never have to worry about him again. You can go right back to your little will-they-won’t-they bullshit or whatever it is you’re doing.”

“I have a plan.” Peter insisted. “And Harry is going to put a serious wrench in my plan, thanks to you.”

“You have a plan?” Tony doubted. “Ive been watching you pine after my daughter for years. When is this plan going into action exactly?”

“I’m just going to think really hard about how I’m in love with her and wait until she realizes.” Peter mumbled as he adverted his eyes.

“Yeah?” Tony cocked his head. “And how’s that going for you?”

“I think she’s just about to get the hint.” Peter said and Tony let out a groan.

“Kid, just ask her out.” He reasoned. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“She could hear me.” Peter stated. “And then say no.”

“She’s never gonna take the hint unless you actually give her the hint.” Tony reasoned. “Why don’t you try tonight? She’ll be all giddy from successfully completing the mission. Perfect time to confess those bottled up feelings.”

“I don’t know.” Peter sighed. “Maybe.”

~

An hour later, you were making eyes at Harry from the bar. After locking eyes a few times, you signaled for him to come over.

“Hey.” Harry knocked on the bar twice and looked down at you. He sized you up before smiling in approval and sending you a nod.

“Hey.” You gave him a sultry smile as he sat down.

“You all by yourself?” He asked as he drummed his fingers on the bar.

“I was.” You took a sip and looked at him through your lashes. “Until you came along.”

“Mind if I stay?” He raised an eyebrow as he flagged down the bartender. You made a face as he ordered a drink before smiling at him.

“I prefer it.” You flirted.

“Good.” He accepted his drink and took a long sip. “I don’t like being told no.”

“Then you better give me something to say yes to.” You leaned on your hand and leaned towards him. Inside, you were gagging at his arrogance. On the outside, you were eating it up.

And that made two of you.

“Oh God.” Peter gagged as he listened to the banter through his ear piece. “This is torture.”

Sam, who was standing next to him as they both kept an eye on you, gave Peter a look.

“Relax, kid.” He sighed. “She’s just doing her job.”

“You’re a pretty bold girl. I like that.” Harry cupped your chin before releasing it. “Just not as bold as me.”

“Oh yeah?” You raised an eyebrow, grabbed his drink, and downed the rest before slamming the glass down. “How about now?”

“Oh, you are going to get me into trouble.” Harry chuckled and he scooted closer to you. Peter watched in disdain as the jealousy coursed through his veins again.

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” You crawled. “Don’t you like trouble?”

“I love it.” He insisted as he held out his hand. “My names Harry Osborn. You’ve probably heard of me.”

“I have.” You smirked as you shook his hand. “I’m Y/n.”

“Why is she talking like that?” Peter whined upon hearing your flirty tone. “She never talks like that.”

“Because she’s not trying to sleep with you, dummy. Thats why.” Sam snorted as he continued to watch.

“What?” Peter snapped his head towards Sam. “She’s not trying to sleep with that guy. She’s just getting information out of him.”

“Yeah well, guys tend to talk a lot more once you’ve tired them out.” Sam shrugged as he sipped his own drink. Pete’s face fell as he stared Harry down with daggers in his eyes.

“She wouldn’t do that.” Peter mumbled.

“Shhh.” Sam waved his hand. “I’m trying to listen.”

“So,” you took another sip from your drink, “Whats it like being the son of one of the most powerful men in the city? Wasn’t your dad like, 25 when he founded Oscorp.”

“23, but who’s keeping score.” Harry shrugged as he looked around the room. “I’ll probably do something like that soon. Maybe something even bigger. I already have a lot of ideas. Pretty impressive, huh?”

“Totally.” You egged him on but rolled your eyes when he looked away. “Do you ever get to watch his experiments?”

“Baby, I’ve seen just about all of them.” Harry bragged as he played with your dangling earrings. “He’s done things you wouldn’t believe. Things that aren’t even legal.”

“Yeah?” Your eyes widened in excitement and you leaned in closer. “Like what?”

“I can’t tell you here.” Harry pulled away suddenly and sighed. “I don’t want anyone hearing.”

“Alright.” You purposefully took the bait. “Then let’s talk somewhere else.”

“Do you know a place?” He played nonchalant as he put a hand on your knee. Peter watched the scene in front of him and looked away.

“Yeah. My bedroom.” You smirked and stood up. “Let’s go there.”

“Bold.” Harry rubbed his hands together and stood up as well. “You’re dangerous.”

You took his hand and lead him towards the elevator, feeling the gun that was strapped to your thigh brush against your leg as you walked.

“You have no idea.” You mumbled. You passed Sam and Peter and gave them a nod as you lead Harry towards his interrogation. Peter looked like he was ready to fight someone and Sam looked entirely amused. You gave them a thumbs up before leading Harry upstairs.

~

“What’s the craziest thing your dad has done?” You asked as you sat down on the bed. You flicked your leg out and pretended to examine your heels to draw his attention. Harry took the bait and held your ankle in his hands, admiring the fancy shoes Mr. Stark had given you for the mission.

“Why do you want to know?” He asked coyly as he looked up at you.

“Because I like to get a little crazy myself and I want to know how much you can handle.” You shrugged as you shook your hair out. Peter gulped as he listened, feeling his jaw tighten in anger. Tony joined him and Sam at their post and looked around for you and Harry.

“How’s the mission going?” He asked when he didn’t see you anywhere.

“Horrible.” Peter grumbled.

“She didn’t get him to the secondary location?” Tony worried.

“She did.” Sam cut in. “Peters just mad that his girlfriend just found herself a boyfriend.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Peter snapped. “Maybe she would have been if Mr. Stark wasn’t a destroyer of young love.”

“Parker, quiet.” Sam commanded. “I’m trying to listen.”

“How do I know I can trust you?” Harry folded his arms as he looked down on you.

“You can trust me.” You told him as you reached up to grab his tie. You used it to pull yourself up and off the bed before planting a kiss right on his mouth.

“What was that?” Peter touched his fingertips to his ear piece when he heard silence from your end.” Why did she pause?”

“She didn’t pause.” Sam shook his head as he checked his watch.

“Then what-“

“She kissed him.” Tony cut in while giving Peter an apologetic look.

“She kissed him?” All the color drained from Peters face and Tony felt he was to blame.

“You know the Green Goblin?” Harry asked once you pulled away.

“Yeah.”

“That’s my dad.” Harry admitted, and Tony and Sam quickly wrote it down.

“No way.” You pretended to be impressed. “I don’t believe you.”

“It’s true. He was dying so he invented this serum to keep himself alive. It ended up giving him all these crazy abilities.” Harry boasted, incriminating himself further. “And he’s got this glider that he can fly around on. You’d love it. It’s very shiny.”

“Wow. I love shiny.” You gushed, fighting the urge to punch him in the throat then and there. “How much serum did he make?”

“He has one more vile that he said he’d give to me when I’m older.” Harry tweaked his eyebrow as he smirked.

“So you’re gonna be the next Green Goblin? Isnt he a bit of a bad guy?” You continued to draw information out of him as your fingers danced around his collar.

“Maybe I am bad guy.” Harry shrugged. “Like father, like son.”

Harry leaned in to kiss you again but you dodged it and laughed as you moved away.

“Bad, huh?” You composed yourself so you wouldn’t be suspicious. “What else has he done?”

“He gave one of our scientists these metal arms. They can rip a person in half. Ive seen it happen.” Harry continued to brag and you recorded every word of it.

“Dr. Occtavius.” Tony realized. “That’s how he got his weapons.”

“Thats crazy.” You gasped and played with his hair. “What’s your dad gonna do?”

“He’s basically forming a league of bad guys.” Harry shrugged like it was no big deal. “Guys way worse than the Avengers.”

“Does he have a problem with the Avengers?” You wondered.

“My dad hates them. I hate them too.” Harry scoffed and you held back a laugh. “That’s why we’re gonna wipe them out. New York can’t rely on a bunch of guys in dress up, and we’re gonna show them that.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“With an attack on New York City on the 8th.” Harry told you, and Tony immediately wrote it down. “The Avengers won’t know what hit them.”

“That sounds pretty scary. Will you keep me safe?” You batted your eyelashes at him and he ate it up.

“I can’t listen to this.” Peter took out his earpiece and slammed it on the counter. “I’m going in there.”

“Parker! Stay where you are and - you know what? I don’t care.” Sam shrugged it off and continued to listen to your conversation.

“Of course baby.” He cupped your face in his hands. “It’s gonna be a direct hit on the Avengers tower. A pretty thing like you won’t be anywhere near there.”

“Actually”, you took his hands off your face and dropped your smile, “I will.”

“What?” Harry’s face faltered at your sudden mood change.

“Did you get that guys?” You touched your fingers to your ear piece and waited for the confirmation. “Copy that, dad.”

“What?” Harry’s face twisted in anger. “You’re an Avenger?”

“Look at you! So smart. You figured it out.” You said sarcastically.

“No.” Harry shook his head. “I don’t believe you. There’s no way you’re an Avenger. You’re my age and a chick.”

“Not just an Avenger. I’m a Stark too. Want me to prove it to you?” You asked casually.

“How?” Harry raised an eyebrow. You gave him a swift punch to the throat that knocked him on his back.

“Like that.” You blew your hair off your forehead as you checked your nails.

“You bitch.” Harry wheezed from the floor.

“You see, I can’t have you and your father attacking my friends.” You crouched down beside him and shrugged. “I’m gonna have to take you in.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” Harry swiped at you but you dodged it.

“I know. But this cute little microphone recorded everything you said and sent it to the police.” You pouted and pointed to your mic. “They should be here soon. You might want to wipe the lipstick off your face before the get here.”

“I’m not going to prison.” Harry grumbled as he sat up.

“Aw, but you are.” You said as you pulled him off the floor and put his hands behind his back. “Daddy can’t bail you out of this one, like how he bailed you out of your 17 parking tickets.”

“How do you know about that?” Harry asked as he looked over his shoulder at you.

“I know everything, bitch.” You leaned into his ear to growl.

“No. I’m not going down for this.” Harry broke out of your hold and swung at you. You dodged the first one, but he got you right in the jaw with the second one. You stood up and got ready to fight him as he put his fists up.

“You’re not even that pretty.” He exclaimed as he swung at you again. Right as his fist collided with your face, Peter burst in the door.

“Yes she is!” Peter shouted as he jumped on Harry’s back. Harry threw Peter onto the bed and lunged for you again. You close-lined him with your arm and dug your heel into his back once he was on the ground.

“Peter? What are you doing here?” You asked as you stepped on Harry’s back harder with your heel. “I got this.”

“There’s something I have to tell you.” Peter panted as he got off the bed.

“You won’t get away with this. I will sue!” Harry writhed around beneath your heel.

“Can it wait?” You asked as you pulled Harry off the ground. “I’m a little busy.”

“It can’t wait.” Peter shook his head as you shoved Harry against the wall. “There’s something I’ve been holding in for a long time and I need to tell you.”

“I wouldn’t even bother dude.” Harry said with his face squished against the wall. “She’s a total bitch.”

“Was I talking to you?” Peter growled before shooting a web at Harry’s wrists to handcuff him.

“Ohhh I see.” Harry laughed humorlessly. “Spiderman is mad that I stole his girlfriend.”

“Can you shut up? I’m trying to have a conversation here.” You barked at Harry. “I’m sorry, Peter. Please continue.”

“I didn’t want you to flirt with Harry tonight because you can do a lot more than just sit still and look pretty.” Peter began.

“I know that, Peter.” You nodded.

“I also didn’t want you to flirt with him because I was jealous.” He confessed.

“Jealous?” You asked as you put Harry in the hotel chair and began to tie him up.

“He likes you, stupid.” Harry grumbled. You shot Harry and angry look, but when you looked back at Peter, he was nodded.

“He’s right.” Peter admitted , taking you by surprise.

“You like me?” You lips twitched into a smile as you tightened Harry’s rope. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was scared you wouldn’t like me back. You’re my best friend, Y/n.” Peter said softly. “If you didn’t like me back, everything would change. We’d still be friends but it wouldn’t be the same. I didn’t want to risk that.”

“I’m sorry.” You frowned. “I should’ve been more clear then.”

“Do you seriously have to do this here?” Harry whined and you smacked him on the back of the head.

“Clear about what?” Peter wondered.

“That I like you too.” You smiled sheepishly at him. Tony listened to the confession over the ear pierce and smiled to himself.

“There you go kid.” He mumbled to himself. “She got the hint.”

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[on-the-outside]

orange spice tea

For Peter, the worst kind of nightmares aren't the bad ones. They aren't the ones where the buildings fall or the aliens come pouring from the sky.

Those ones haunt his mind and leave flickering images behind his eyes, but they're not the worst.

The worst nightmares are the happy ones.

***

He’s sitting at the dining room table, spooning his favorite pasta onto a chipped ceramic plate, patterned with roses. Ben cooked that night, so the food is good, and Peter is excitedly explaining to Ben and May about what he learned in Science that day. Peter knows that they don’t understand, but they nod along and at least try to pretend. When he talks about his new friend, Ned, who likes science too, Ben and May give each other soft, happy smiles. Ben cracks a joke, which sends Peter into a fit of giggles. May looks at them fondly.

That night, after Peter has brushed his teeth and changed into his favorite Iron Man pajamas, May brushes his hair off his forehead and kisses his cheek as she’s tucking him in.

“Goodnight, Petey Pie,” Ben whispers from behind her. May takes Ben’s hand.

***

And then Peter wakes up.

He always wakes up.

His room at Stark Tower is the size of his old apartment, so full of empty corners and shadows that it makes him paranoid. He still hasn't decorated, so the walls are plain white. It feels like he’s drowning in his comforter.

It takes a moment for him to realize where he is. The emptiness comes, then. The feeling that he’s missing the biggest part of himself. Peter can still feel May’s kiss on his cheek and smell her coconut shampoo. If he concentrates, he can hear Ben’s faint voice, wishing him goodnight.

Sobs wrack his whole body, shaking his shoulders and rattling through his head. Peter curls in on himself and soaks his pillow, knowing they will never be there to comfort him again.

The happy nightmares are the worst, because he can push every building off his shoulders and he can defeat every otherworldly attacker, but no matter what he does, he can never get his aunt and uncle back.

****

The first thing Natasha asks when Peter stumbles into the kitchen at three in the morning is,

“What kind of tea do you like?”

Peter looks up, eyes red and stinging, still breathing hard. Nat smiles back softly, waiting for his answer.

“Orange spice, please,”

She nods and rips open a packet. Peter slumps on one of the stools next to the island.

“Want to talk about it?”  Nat asks while she fills the kettle with water. She looks more relaxed than usual in red pajama bottoms and an oversized black shirt instead of her usual

weapon-loaded bodysuit.

“.... Ben and May.” Peter mumbles. He avoids her eyes and instead stares out the floor-to-ceiling windows. He’s never noticed how bright the city looks at night.

Nat pours hot water into a mug with the Captain America shield on it. The tea bag floats to the top and slowly sinks back down, sending plumes of orange into the clear water. Nat waits until he’s taken a sip before asking, “Did I ever tell you about Phil Coulson?”

Peter shakes his head, “Who is he?”

“Phil helped train me when I was first recruited . He was one of my best friends at SHIELD. Coulson, Hill, Clint, and I. We were unstoppable. They were my family, for a little while,” She smiles, remembering.

He sadly realizes she’s talking in the past tense.

“What happened?” He questions tentatively.

“Loki. Coulson tried to stop him, but…well, a human against a god isn't a fair fight. The scepter went straight through his heart. We got to him too late,” her voice is matter-of-fact, like she’s describing the weather, but there’s a current of sadness under it all. Peter knows that forced-casual tone well.

“I’m sorry, Nat,” Peter whispers.

“Phil was one of the bravest people I knew. He joined SHIELD after his parents died,

because he wanted to make the world a better place. You remind me of him, you know,”

Peter looks up at her. “Why?”

“Not many people can see the things you have and choose to keep going. After everything, you’re still out there, fighting and protecting people, every day,”

Peter supposes this is true. But it's not like he can take credit. He doesn’t do it for himself.

“It’s not… There have been plenty of times I've wanted to give up. But, I can't. My uncle died trying to help someone. I owe it to him to continue what he started. He said to me, before he died, ‘with great power, there must also come great responsibility’. I've spent every day since then trying to live by that. I know It won’t change anything, or bring them back, but…I don't know,”

Natasha looks up at him. “Won't change anything? Маленький паук, you have helped all of us in more ways than i can count. I promise you, wherever your uncle is, he’s proud of you.

Peter blinks hard, a sudden wave of grief consuming him. He lets the tears spill. Natasha comes around the island and wraps her arms around him. She smells like lavender. Then Nat kisses his head, and something inside him dissolves. He can't tell if it's good or bad, but it makes him cry harder.

“I-I just miss them-” He chokes out between sobs. He thinks Natahsa is crying a little too.

“I know, Маленький паук,” She mumbles into his hair, “I know,”

Eventually, they move over to the living room and finish their tea. Peter talks about May and Ben, tells stories about holidays and trips to the science museum. Nat, in turn, tells him about living with Coulson and Hill and Clint, and later, funny stories about her time with the Avengers, before Sam and Peter and Wanda. They fall asleep on the couch together, Natasha’s arms still around his shoulders.

****

They wake up the next morning to find several snickering Avengers grouped around them. Nat glares at them all until they scatter, and the two snatch up plates of breakfast.

“Here, паук,” Nat says softly as she hands him his plate.

“Thanks, Aunt Nat,” He replies on refex. He see’s Nat’s eyes widen and turns away, smiling slightly.

His old family might be gone, but maybe, just maybe, he can make a new one, all on his own.

[love-is-a-dagger]

Little ones

Masterlist

Loki x reader

Summary: reader finds some eggs abandoned and takes them home where Loki is not happy.

Sorry I haven’t posted anything for a while, school’s started and it’s been bit hectic. Also not proofread, so sorry if anything is a bit off

You had been gone for a while, making Loki worry. But he knew you could handle yourself if anything were to happen.

When he hears the door open after two hours of your departure, he expected a quick shout to let him know your not dead.

But all he got as silence.

He’s heaves a sigh, deciding to be moody in that moment. He jumps off the bed, and stomps down the stairs, to be met with you fixing a lamp on something on a pillow.

“Y/n, darling”

“Loki, sweetheart”

He eyes are stuck between focusing on the eggs them at your face.

“Care to explain why you have eggs?”

You give him a cheeky smile, his first thought was you were planning to bake or cook something, but then he remembers all the times you’ve burnt anything you’ve tried to make.

“Y/n” he says sternly, a bit of fear in his voice.

“Okay-okay! I found some eggs at the park and, uh, you know, the mother duck wasn’t there and I didn’t want them to die-“

“Why are they here?” He deadpanned, sounding annoyed.

You deflate a small bit, your smile now gone, you thought he’d want to keep them as soon as he saw them.

“They were abandoned” you answer in a small voice, making him regret sounding stern.

“I’m sorry, my dear” you smile reappears at his apologies.

“It’s okay. I’m keeping them” he signed looking up at the ceiling, taking a deep breath before responding.

“Along as they don’t bother me, I don’t care” he starts to walk away but hears you talk to the ends that he doubts at even duck eggs.

“Don’t worry about daddy, he’s always grumpy”

***

Loki can practically feel your happiness, he’s happy you’re happy, don’t get him wrong. But those eggs are taking up your entire life.

You’ve made little houses for the three little eggs, you’ve named them (one being Loki jr that he can’t help but feel giggly about) and worst of all, you’ve been ignoring Loki, the one that was here first.

You’d be downstairs reading to them as if they were children, while he was upstairs doing his nightly routine, as you did your new one.

It’s been like this for two weeks, you still spend time with him but he knows your sole attention is on them, you have an attachment to creates without parents.

“Loki?” He looks up from his book to look at you, raising an brow at you being half hidden by the door frame.

“Yes, dear?” He can’t help but grin qt the small blush that sets in your cheeks.

“Can you watch the eggs? I need to get a few things from the shops” he frowns lightly at your small explanation, normally you’d tell him very little detail.

Like that time you said you had to go your brothers house because you thought you caught a virus on your phone after clicking on a link on a website he doesn’t remember the name of, something to do with corn?

“Why?��� You blush, biting your lip looking down before replying, “I, uh, wanted to make us a nice dinner, something I hopefully don’t burn, because we haven’t been spending any time together” you slowly look up to meet his eyes, a grin on him face.

“Of course, my love. But we don’t need to have a dinner, as long as I’m with you, I’m happy”

You match his grin, practically dancing over, giving him a kiss, as his hands glaze over your sides.

“I’m happy with you too, mr odinson” your grin as he rolls his eyes.

“I suggest leaving soon before I change me mind” you send him a final grin before leaving the room.

***

Flipping the page, Loki casts a quick glance at the eggs you had moved into the living room so he didn’t have to move.

He’s started to warm up to the idea of the little duck, chickens- what ever they were. He doubts there is anything in them.

He goes back to his book after checking the time in the phone you had gotten him.

When he reaches the of the chapter, he starts to hear a little chipping noise, he thinks nothing of is as he returns to his book. He manages to read halo a page when he hears it again.

He sighs, placing his book down. Looking around the room his sees nothing, then his eyes land on the eggs you had adopted. His eyes a quick fo move onto something else, but quicker when he realises what he saw.

He stands up, stalking over to the eggs were there seems to be a little crack in one of them. He’s frozen as he figures out what to do, before picking up his phone and calling you.

“Hey lo-”

“Darling, the eggs are hatching”

He doesn’t hear a reply, making him wonder if he muted himself, he seems to seems to accidentally do that when he’s in the with phone to his brother.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m here, I just dropped something, I’m coming back now, as fast as I can” Loki doesn’t think he’s ever heard you speak that fast. He takes no offence when you hang up on him.

He watches curiously as the eggs start to shuffle, wiggle and waddle. They shift lightly side to side, making him fear they may fall off the table.

He slowly moves to the eggs, one of which have a massive crack on the side. As he approaches them, slowly and Cautiously, he begin to have a spurge of confidence.

As he arrived at the table that was on the other side of the room he was originally sat, he adjusts the light, getting it out the way so the little creatures won’t be blinded in their first moment of life.

He can’t help but let a small smile slip when he sees a little beak crack from the egg, it’s beak breaking away the shell, clinging for life.

He lets out a small huff of laughter as the creature, that he now realises is a duck, break out of it shell.

It’s sibling soon follow him, one after another. Loki grins as he stares at the three little ducklings, slowly picks the oldest up.

“Hello there, my son” he lets out a boyish giggle as his own joke, finding comfort in this little creature in his palm.

“I missed it?” He turns around to see you with a pout, giving him no toe he option other than to smile, hopelessly in love with you.

“I’m sorry, my love” he apologises softly, not wanting to disturb the newborn duckling in his hands.

You can’t help but give him a childish smile, seeing a god that almost took over the earth holding a little, harmless duckling.

“It’s okay, my king” he returns your smile with a little grin, making you giggle, as you take steady steps to your beloved.

“Hello there” you coo softly as the little duckling, stroking them softly.

You choose not to tease him over the fact that he said he would never hold the creature.

You look up to loki to see him quietly swooning over the little duckling.

“I love you” he stops, slowly looking towards you, a small grin on his face.

“I love you too, my queen”

***

You watch with a broken heart as the three little duckling follow Loki around, the three little ducks had imprinted on Loki, meaning they saw Loki as their mother.

You wouldn’t admit it but you were quite envious of Loki, you wanted to be see as their mother, depict that, you found it quite cute. After they were first hatched he’d be reading then get angry at them for following him.

You have tried everything to try and get them to treat you like they do him. You’ve tried putting Loki’s aftershave in, trying to smell like him, to even trying to sound like him. Loki of course found the whole thing hilarious.

“I’m sorry, my love” Loki said as he burst into another fit of laughter, watching your pointless attempt of trying to trick the little ducklings to thinking you were him.

“I give up” you laugh a sigh out, finding it a little funny. Turning around to leave the room you accident hit the side of the table with your hip.

“Oh sorry love” you mimic Loki in a final attempt to get the ducks attention. You don’t even bother looking around, knowing it was fruitless. 

Loki watches amused as the little duckling wobble behind you, as Loki does ,after all, call you love a lot.

[anonymousfiction211]

Seven minutes in heaven

Summary: After a party the team (which includes Loki) has another drink. They decide to play seven minutes in heaven. Loki, who you have a crush on, and you are pick. But the whole situations makes you uncomfertable. Luckily, Loki knows a solution.  Word count: 2.252 words Warnings: Smut

The party was dying down a bit. The last guest who wasn’t an official part of the team had just left. Most of the night you spend with Loki, judging the other guests and laughing about the way some of them danced. And the rest you spend laughing with your other teammates. You liked that Loki was a real member of the team now. It took a long time, but he finally fitted in. You were one of the first persons that Loki connected with, and you had developed a crush on him ever since.

Whenever the two of you weren’t together at the party, you couldn’t help but glance in his direction. He was wearing his black suit and he looked way too good in it. Sometimes he would catch you staring at him and you quickly turned your head back to a conversation, you weren’t really listening to. You were hoping he didn’t saw the blush on your face. The only person who knew you liked Loki was Natasha. She wasn’t understanding at first, but once she was okay with Loki, she was pushing you to do something about it. ‘What is the worst thing that could happen if you tell him?’ she always said to you. The worst thing was Loki rejecting you, of course. ‘And what is the best thing that could happen?’ was always her follow-up. That would be Loki returning your feelings.

But even if it was worth a shot, you never could tell him. You were always shy when it came to guys you like. And this was not a guy you liked, this was a God. You were pulled out of your thoughts when Tony clapped in his hands. ‘Guys, afterparty!’ he boomed. The whole team grabbed another drink while sitting on the ridiculous large couch together. You ended up next to Natasha, which was great, but unfortunately Loki was on the other end of the couch. ‘Why haven’t you told him already?’ she asked you. ‘I- I can’t’ you whispered back. She rolled her eyes at you. ‘Let’s play a game’ you heard Tony suggest. Everyone agreed, a game could be fun. That was until you heard Natasha ‘Let’s play 7 minutes in heaven!’ she gave you a subtle wink.

‘What’s that?’ Thor asked. ‘Two people are chosen to spend seven minutes in the closet, and what they do in there is their business’ Tony explained to the people who didn’t know the game. ‘How do we choose?’ Steve asked. Natasha was already writing everyone’s name down on paper and putting it in a bowl. ‘I’ll pick from the bowl’ she said. You didn’t like where this was going. She put her hand in the bowl, playing with the tickets. She pulled the first one out ‘Ah, Y/N!’ she said slightly too happy for your liking. You glared at her, but she just smiled back at you. She pulled another ticket from the bowl ‘Loki’ she said. Everyone else was whoo-ing like a bunch of children and you felt yourself become redder and redder.

Loki looked a bit confused but stood up and walked towards you. He held out his hand. Now it was your turn to look confused. But you took his hand and he led you to the closet. The rest of the team was still snickering on the couch and you tried your hardest to ignore them. This felt really uncomfortable and forced. Loki opened the closet door for you, and you went inside. He closed the door behind him. The two of you were silent, you could still hear the team in the background, but couldn’t make out what they were saying. The closet was pitch black and you barely could see him. ‘Okay, I still don’t understand it. We’re locked in a closet for seven minutes. What are we supposed to do know?’ Loki asked. You didn’t answer him, how could you? You felt a hand on your shoulder and you immediately tensed up. ‘Are you okay?’ he asked you.

‘Ehm.. yeah’ you stammered. You took a deep breath and tried to relax. ‘This game is mostly played by teenagers. You can do whatever you want.’ you explained to him. ‘Alright, and what is it most people do in here?’ he asked. ‘Like I said, it is mostly played by teenagers. So, mostly the just fool around in here’ you answered a bit meekly. ‘I see’ Loki replied. ‘B- but like I said.. ehm.. you can do anything. Talking is also good’ you went on. That was when you heard Tony yell from outside ‘Loki and (Y/N) are awfully quiet, not much talking going on in there’. The rest of the team started whoo-ing again. You were standing in a dark closet with your crush, while the people outside thought you were busy getting it on, people you had to face in the next five minutes. This was the most uncomfortable moment of your life.

Suddenly you felt two hands grabbing your waist, Loki pulled you a bit closer. If you weren’t already tense, you would have tensed up now. ‘Close your eyes’ he said. Even tough it felt like you were going to be sick, you did as he told you. You felt a breeze around you and noticed that the team suddenly got quiet. ‘Open your eyes, love’ Loki told you. When you opened your eyes, you noticed that you were in Loki’s room. The moonlight lit up his room and you could finally see his face. He looked concerned at you. When you realized that the team was practically on the other side of the building you relaxed. Loki let go of your hips, something you hoped he wouldn’t. ‘You looked really uncomfortable, so I teleported us back here. You can leave if you want. Sorry you got stuck with me’ he laughed awkwardly. You furrowed your brow at that last comment. ‘Thanks, but it wasn’t you. Just the team outside made me feel a bit nervous’ you explained.

A smile formed on his face. He was beautiful when he smiled. Loki took a step towards you and put his hands back on your hips. ‘Hmm, in that case I quite like to finish the game’ he said. The most inappropriate thoughts crossed your mind, making you blush hard. ‘I love it when I make you blush’ he whispered in your ear. He grabbed your chin with one of his hands and you felt his lips almost touch yours. ‘May I?’ he asked. ‘Yes’ you whispered, your mind was racing, and you couldn’t believe this was happening. His lightly kissed you and your eyes fluttered shut. He tasted like pepper mint. Now you know why they called the game 7 minutes in heaven, he really felt like heaven. When he pulled away you put your hands behind his neck, pulling him back in. You felt him smile against your lips. The kissing became more heated. His lips felt right against yours and you felt his tongue sliding against them. You opened your mouth and his tongue slid inside of you. It was slowly circling your own tongue and you felt yourself become aroused.

Loki broke the kiss and tensed up a bit. ‘My love, if we continue now I’m not going to be able to stop’ he whispered to you. You looked into his eyes. They were filled with admiration and lust. You saw him clench his jaw, waiting for you to answer. You were ready to let him ravish you, but you loved that he waited until you actually told him that you wanted this too. You put your hands on his chest ‘Loki, don’t stop. I want you’ you told him. As soon as those words left your lips you felt his lips back on yours. He was kissing you passionately. You felt him move you backwards until your legs hid the bed. He put you down gently and crawled on top of you. You pulled his jacket of him and started to work down his buttons. Loki threw his shirt across the room and started to kiss you neck. You could feel his abs through the fabric of your dress and loved the way his back muscles moved beneath your fingertips. He let out a soft moan and you couldn’t help but giggle a bit. You undid his belt and he pulled down his pants. He was only wearing his boxers now, a sight to behold.

He suddenly grabbed your hips and flipped the two of you around. You were straddling his lap and felt his erection clearly against your core. You instinctively rolled your hips, making the God beneath you gasp. ‘Take off your dress’ he told you. You slowly undressed yourself, taking your time. You saw Loki become impatient and loved that you had that effect on him right now. Your dress was on the floor and the only thing you had on was your bra and thong. Loki grabbed your ass while changing in a seating position. He immediately undid your bra clasp and took it off. His tongue found your nipple and he started to circle it, making it hard. His hand found your other nipple, slightly pinching it. When he was satisfied with his work he laid back down. You started to kiss his neck, trailing downwards. You felt his breathing speed up when you got lower and lower. Your hands found the hem of his underwear and you pulled it all the way down. Loki was know laying completely naked underneath you and you took your time appreciating the sight. He rolled his hips making you gasped and fall forward a bit. Your hands were on his chest and your legs opened a bit wider. You could feel his full erection through the fabric of your thong.

You started to ride him slowly. When he wanted to protest that this wasn’t enough, you swallowed his words with a kiss. When you broke the kiss, you heard him growl. His hands found the side of your thong and he easily ripped the fabric. ‘Take me, now’ he said. He grabbed his cock and lined it up with your entrance. You sat down on his cock, slowly taking every inch of him inside of you. Once he was fully inside you started to move your hips. Loki grabbed your hips, guiding your movements. It didn’t take long before the two of you were moaning and panting. One of his hands slid from your hips and found your clit. He started to trace slow circles around it, smirking and mapping every reaction you had. You felt your orgasm build up, when suddenly Loki flipped the two of you around.

He grabbed one of your legs and threw it over his shoulder. The new angle made it able for him to pound deeper inside of you. He quickened his pace and started to play with your clit again. He was watching you intently and grinned widely when you started to moan his name. ‘I will never grow tired of that’ he huskily said to you. ‘Loki.. I’m close’ you panted. ‘Me too, come fore me (Y/N)’ he panted. Loki thrusted two more times when you felt your wall clench around him and an incredible sensation spreading from your core to the rest of your body. You came moaning his name loudly. After a few more thrusts Loki reached his own high. He collapsed on top of you, but after a few seconds supported himself with his arms, not wanting to crush you with his weight. You stroked his hair and he kissed you slowly. ‘I’ve been wanting to do this for a very long time’ he said to you. You smiled at him ‘Me too’. Loki got up and handed you a towel to clean yourself up. He gave you a pair of his boxers and a dark green t-shirt. He himself was in a pair of black pyjama pants.  

He laid back in his bed, pulling you against him. He laid on his back with you on his chest, starting to stroke you, and playing with your hair. When you remembered that you were at a party playing 7 minutes of heaven you tensed up. The team surely would be looking for the two of you right now. ‘Something wrong?’ he asked you. ‘Ehm.. aren’t you afraid they come looking? Shouldn’t we go back?’ you said to him. ‘No worry, my love. I left a note saying we were tired of them and that we left’ he said. Your heart fluttered when he called you ‘his love’. You relaxed in his arms ‘Thank you’ you whispered. ‘Anything for you’ he replied. It didn’t take long for you to fell asleep. You barely registered Loki kissing the top of your head, pulling you closer and wishing you a good night.  

[strsburn]

destiny led me to you | loki

pairing - loki laufeyson x female reader

synopsis - driven by the heartbreak of losing your entire world by the hands of thanos, you set out to find him, leaving destruction in your path in multiple universes; thus creating a horde of branches in the timeline and catching the attention of the TVA.

but you would do it all again if it meant you could see him once more.

notes - this is hopefully going to be a series, depending on the feedback i receive, i plan to follow the episodes only slightly because i dont want it to be an exact copy of the show.

[THIS WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR LOKI SERIES]

idea credit ( @horrorisunknowntoyou ) thank you for the inspo and allowing me to run with it!

warnings - death, violence, angst, and possible smut (in later chapters?)

wc - 2.4k

MASTERLIST • AO3

"Dread it, run from it. Destiny arrives all the same." A wrinkled hand reaches for your chin, running prune colored fingers along your jawline, doting; mockingly.

Your heartbeat pulses loudly in your ears, eyes glazing over with exhaustion and pain as you attempt to glare, the notion in vain as the titan merely chuckled amusedly.

"I can see great power in you, little one. An infinity stone pulses beneath your every vein. Tell me, where is the tesseract?"

You remain silent.

"We don't have the tesseract, it was destroyed along with all of Asgard." Thor interjects weakly from where he lies, his body held tightly in the arms of the black order.

Guilt sweeps across your being as you make eye contact with Loki, sharing a single nod as you both know what you must do.

Thanos grows annoyed with your unwillingness to comply as he walks over with loud steps, his footprints visible as he raises his gauntlet up, the power stone shining threateningly close to Thor.

"The tesseract, or your brother's head. I assume you have a preference." It's not a question. Merely a statement, one that Loki knows he must prove unbothered.

"Oh, I do. Kill away." To anyone else it would seem he couldn't care less about his brother's demise, but you know your love better than he does himself and you catch the glance of fear that washes over cerulean eyes.

You can only watch in trepidation as the stone makes contact with the God's head. Agonized cries escaping as his skin is burned by the mere power of the stone.

Loki does his best to look unaffected, but you catch the hitch in his breath as he batters inner turmoil. the universe, or his brother.

"Alright, that's enough!"

Loki turns his palm up, as a familiar blue cube materializes in his hand. The eerie blue glow casting a shadow upon his face.

Thanos steps away, smug. You force yourself to look away from Thor's accusing gaze.

"You truly are the worst, brother." Thor shakes his head, eyes disappointed but not surprised.

As Thanos moves to take the stone from his hand cerulean blue eyes make contact with your own and you feel a wave of fear wash over you as you recognize the look in Loki's eyes.

"I assure you, brother. The sun will shine on us again." He does not move his gaze from your own and you can't help but feel this is an unspoken goodbye.

"Your optimism is misplaced, asgardian."

"Well, for one thing, I'm not asgardian. For another, we have a hulk."

In a blur of color you are shoved from where you lie, a slithe figure covering your own as you breathe in the familiar scent of cinnamon and leather.

"We don't have much time, my love. I just want you to know that I love you dearly, and I am grateful for the time I had with you. May I see you again, in Valhalla." His eyes are teary and you barely process his words, as his hands grab hold of your face and pull you into a kiss.

The kiss is desperate, filled with love and grief and you can only briefly kiss your love back as he steps closer to Thanos, rambling on about undying fidelity.

You catch a glimpse of silver behind his back and you gasp as realization sets in.

You move to reach him just as he leaps for Thanos, the knife poised for his head, frozen in mid air as the stones across his knuckles pulse.

"Undying fidelity, you should choose your words more wisely."

You cry out as Loki struggles in his grip, his skin fading blue. You crawl forward, legs aching as you reach for him, your progress hinged by your inability to walk.

"You will never be a god." The rasped words are followed by a snap as his neck gives out beneath Thanos' hands.

A tortured scream rings out and it takes you a second to realize it's your own. A broken sob leaves you as you crawl forward to reach where Thanos has carelessly thrown the body of your love.

You heave as your shaky fingers caress his face, his lifeless eyes staring ahead as you clutch him to your chest.

You rock back and forth knotting your fingers in his hair as you plead for the nightmare to end.

"No resurrections this time."

A portal opens and closes behind you, yet you make no motion to move.

You simply close your eyes and welcome the sweet release of death as the universe explodes around you.

N E W Y O R K 2 0 1 2

"'Coordinates for search and rescue, on my way now.' I mean honestly, how-" Loki is promptly shut up by the mouth guard that decorates his face, courtesy of his brother.

Displeasure makes an appearance as Loki is led to the elevator followed by the avengers that quickly file in. The only source of entertainment being the temper tantrum the green beast throws as he is denied entry. Loki can hardly contain his glee as he waves mockingly as the doors close.

As he is led to the ground floor his cuffed hands clinking annoyingly with every step he glances wearily around himself, dreading the lecture that is sure to come once he reaches asgard. He has no doubt in his mind that Odin will find perfect reason to throw him to the wolves, lest his mother get involved.

As he contemplates, his attention is caught by the sound of his brother calling for help, the guards holding him, attending to what he perceives to be a heart attack, to none other than the man of metal.

He watches, confused as a small stature kicks the case holding the tesseract away from view as the others tend to Stark.

Looking around bemused he watches to see what will conspire next. Before any other move can be made a shout is heard as the doors to the staircase along with the wall is torn apart, the hulk making his distaste for the tedious activity known.

For once since meeting the beast he feels thankful, as the case holding the tesseract is knocked open, the familiar cube sliding towards his foot.

A beat passes and grabbing a hold of the familiar cube he glances around, vanishing in a thin cloud of blue.

T V A U N K N O W N

Hurried footsteps echo down the corridor as the man moves with barely contained excitement. Tie swinging to and fro, a slightly wrinkled hand pulls at the collar of his neck nervously.

Mobius had seen many variants in his time at the TVA. Yet, none had ever come close to interesting as the file he currently held in one hand. Variant L1130 or Loki, as he was called, was perhaps one of the most complicated cases he had come across.

Born as a legend of mythology it was quite unbelievable to know that not only was he real, but he happened to be in their custody for creating a new branch in the timeline. Mobius could only hope Renslayer would agree to allowing him to be the God's superior.

Entering the courtroom, Mobius sits down and watches with rapt attention as Loki attempts to bargain with Ravonna. His plans are foiled as he tries to call upon his magic in a last effort to escape.

Mobius feels it's time to intervene when Renslayer makes it clear he is to be executed.

"You have no idea what I am capable of!"

"Actually I might have an idea of what he is capable of." He offers as he makes his way up to the stand.

His plea must be written across his face as Ravonna leans over to look at him directly.

"Whatever you're planning, it's a bad idea." She warns.

Nonetheless she reluctantly lets him go and Mobius has to fight off the urge to fist pump the air as he escorts Loki down the hallway.

"Oh, I'm Agent Mobius by the way." He offers a hand that is quickly ignored.

He can practically see the distrust written on Loki's face, his eyes calculating every move he makes.

Mobius is hardly surprised that as soon as he enters the room, his back turned to the God as he adjusts his projector, Loki is surging forward to attack. He doesn't even bat an eyelash as he clicks a button on his remote, resetting the God as if the action never even happened.

"C'mon, let's take a look at some of your greatest hits." Mobius waves a hand, as Loki curiously sits down, eyes trained on the projector.

He finds himself staring back at a hologram of his attack on New York. His blue eyes darting back and forth with glee as chaos erupts around him.

A feeling of something akin to shame runs down his spine as he recalls his reign of terror on the city, an illusion of preying on the weak to hide his own fear, lest he fail and succumb to Thanos and his minions.

Loki clenches his jaw, arms crossing over his form in an attempt to hide himself as he turns to avoid the screen.

"I see no point in this-"

"No, no wait, this is just getting good." Mobius grins as he points to the screen and Loki finds himself once again face to face with another variation of himself.

He briefly recalls the time he had lost a bet to Thor and had to change his form into that of a ginger haired man wearing a clean three piece suit, claiming he had a bomb and required over two hundred thousand in midgardian money just to see if he could pull it off. He did, in fact, pull it off, but his mother was not happy as well as the midgardians who failed to solve the case, naming him D.B. Cooper as they had no clue as to his real identity.

His attention is pulled to the screen as a familiar voice of silk enters the scene and he watches as his mother speaks to his future self, his eyes drawn into her face.

"Then am I not your mother?" He hears her ask. Yes, you are.

"No. You are not." Loki's eyes start to mist as he watches the look of hurt pass over his mother's features before she schools her expression into one of contempt.

"Always so perceptive, about everyone but yourself." She decides.

The screen flickers and he sees himself talking to an intruder, his voice amused as he suggests the monster to take the stairs to the left.

Then, his mother, Frigga, lying on the cold ground, a puddle of red growing rapidly beneath her body as her eyes remained closed.

His breath hitches, anger now licking up his spine. He turns sharply to Mobius who smartly remains silent.

"What is this! Some cruel joke? Where is she?! Where do you have her?"

Mobius steps forward, expression neutral as he speaks.

"She's dead Loki. This is the future, it's destined to happen, again and again because that's how it should be."

Loki falters his eyes narrowing as he spits "You're lying! I'll kill you!"

"What? Like you killed your mother."

There's a split second of silence before an angered shout is heard, a chair splitting the air as it crashes into pieces along the floor.

Before anything else can be said Mobius is summoned by Hunter B-15, his eyes falling to Loki who remains silent and he leaves with a slight tinge of guilt burrowing in his chest at the haunted look in the God's eyes.

"You think yourself so sly don't you." Loki looks up at the unfamiliar voice as the projector suddenly comes to life, a new image flicking gently on screen. His eyes catch upon your form and he watches in awe and wonder as you sit beside his future self.

"I don't think, love. I know." He grins leaning in to steal a kiss from you that leaves you both breathless.

He watches as your eyes are filled with nothing but love and adoration for him as you lean into his side.

"Loki?"

"Yes, darling?"

"Do you believe in soulmates?"

Loki tilts his head in contemplation as he looks to you, before a soft grin pulls at his lips.

"I didn't until I met you. I know that no matter who or what tries to tear us apart, we will always find a way back to each other."

A smile breaks out onto your face and Loki watches in stunned silence as the clip ends with the two of your voices fading into laughter.

"You two are meant to be together."

Loki turns as Mobius slowly comes to a stop behind him, his expression thoughtful.

"I don't enjoy hurting people you know." He responds, motioning towards the screen in reference to his attack on New York and the death of his mother.

Mobius doesn't respond, and he takes that as a sign to continue.

"I do it because I have to. Because I've had to." He looks down as he fiddles with his fingers.

Mobius hums as he replies.

"Why? Why do you think that is?"

"It's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear."

Realization lights up in Mobius' eyes as he answers back.

"A desperate play for control. You do know yourself."

"A villain." Loki sums up.

"Not the way I see it."

There's a mutual silence between them before Mobius sighs.

"Look I can't offer you salvation but I can offer you something better. A fugitive variant has been killing our minutemen."

"And let me guess, you need the God of Mischief to help you stop him."

"That's right."

"How could I possibly be of use to you?"

"That's the thing. The variant we are hunting, we believe is y/n." Mobius looks towards the projector where your image is still.

"I beg your pardon?"

U N K N O W N

Mutilated bodies line the floor as a hooded figure steps over them, eyes glowing an unnatural hue.

"Is it finished?"

"Yes."

A wicked laugh fills the empty space as a portal opens in the deserted land, a set of footsteps following through.

"I'm coming for you, my love."

[iamanartichoke]

I wasn't sure if I was going to post this, but I may as well.

I keep starting to reply to things and then stopping bc the words just aren't there, and I suppose I figured out the core of what bothers me so much (and is making me have such a rollercoaster of a fan experience) about the show.

(cut for length)

It's not well-written. My opinion is my opinion, so I'm saying this subjectively, take it or leave it, but ... I feel that it's not well-written. The overall story is fine, and the plot is fine, but I don't know if it's because of the limited number of episodes not being enough to house the story, or because of the relative inexperience of the writer/showrunner+director, or both, or something else, but -

In an earlier reaction post to episode 4, I mentioned really wanting to sink my teeth into all of the subtext I picked up on. That was what made me initially enjoy the episode so much - there were a lot of little moments that I initially felt revealed so much about the characters and about Loki, and I wanted to analyze them. But at some point, as I gathered more information, my perspective changed and now I no longer want to analyze the subtext bc ... subtext = good. Subtext w/out payoff = not as good.

I'll go into more detail in a moment, but I think the tl;dr of it is that I feel like the narrative requires the audience to work way too hard to put together all of the moving pieces here and, like, I kinda just don't want to do that work? Not so much of it, and not in vain. A lot of the enjoyment of Loki's characterization is coming from fans who are rationalizing why he's behaving as he is, but the narrative never actually confirms those rationalizations. It's asking us to figure it out and maybe our conclusions will be correct but maybe they won't, though. At some point, subtext isn't enough without explicit follow-through.

I thought my issue was with the lack of character development - that is, not having enough narrative space to really earn the big things that are happening now, like Loki/Sylvie or Mobius turning against the TVA. And that's still true, to an extent; I still feel like the pacing is all very off and it seems like most of these things kinda came out of nowhere (but are not unbelievable - just undeveloped).

But, yknow, it is what it is, it's a limited series, and I can excuse some things. Ultimately, my issue isn't a problem with what the narrative isn't doing, it's a problem with what the narrative already failed to do and probably cannot recover from at this point.

The narrative has left out significant details that should at least help us do some of the work here. If a person turned on Loki and started episode 1 and had no background knowledge of the character besides that he tried to take over New York - how would that person interpret Loki? Would that person say, oh, well, he's been through X, Y, and Z, and plus A happened, not to mention B, C, and D, so really, it makes sense that he seems off-the-rails, or that he'd want to get ridiculously drunk at the worst time ever.

Maybe we'd like to believe they would, but how would they be getting to that conclusion? The narrative hasn't led them in that direction so, no, they would not say well we have to consider this, this, and that. It would be impossible to really understand Loki as a character from just what we've gotten in the series. The general audience would probably interpret Loki as being out of his element and so it becomes, I wonder how this character is going to get the upper hand here. And, while that's not wrong, it's just so limited.

The narrative at face value does not address Loki's identity crisis from Thor 2011. It does not address his hurt and devastation at being lied to, nor does it address how complicated his self-image is (bc it sucked to begin with and that was before he found out he was part of a race of "monsters," as he'd been taught his entire life). It does not reference Loki being so broken at the end of Thor 2011 that he deliberately let himself fall into the void of space (aka tried to kill himself). It does not reference that he was tortured by Thanos or even that he went through a seriously dark time in between Thor and Avengers, and it absolutely does not reference or address any influence or control of the mind stone.

These are all things that we, the fan audience, know because we've already invested our time into this character's story. But tons of people, the general audience, wouldn't know these things. Or if they did, bc they saw Thor and Avengers, they wouldn't be thinking about them as deeply as we would, nor contextualizing them with how Loki is behaving now, or why it would make sense that he needed to get drunk, or why it's understandable that he needs to keep going-going-going in order to not have a spare second to think or feel.

They'd probably look at Loki, again, as a character who was a villain and is now getting his comeuppance in a place where he has no power or control, and no literal powers, and even when he manages to escape and catch up to the variant, he proceeds to fuck up their plan for seemingly no real reason except that he wanted to get drunk bc he's hedonistic. Which Sylvie even berates him for! I mean. This is not exactly a complex character breakdown, nor a very flattering one, but that's what the narrative has given us.

(If the narrative has addressed Loki's mind control, his torture, his mental breakdown, his suicide attempt, and his general shitty self-esteem as a result of his upbringing, please point it out to me. If the narrative has explicitly acknowledged and referenced these things anywhere and I am missing it, please show me where. Please explain to me how the casual viewer would know any of these things that they need to know in order to actually understand what's happening in this story.)

So I mean, okay, we have a narrative that doesn't paint a full, accurate picture of Loki. Fine, sure. But because the general audience starts out on the wrong footing, they're not going to get out of the overall story what the writers probably intended them to. For example, in episode 3, a lot of us theorized that Loki had some kind of plan - that he broke the timepad on purpose, for some reason, bc otherwise it wasn't believable that he'd be such a failure. But episode 4 revealed that no, there was no bigger plan, Loki just plain old messed up. Which is fine if, again, one is only considering the surface-level portrayal here, but it's not true to Loki's actual characterization.

I mean. Loki is not perfect and Loki actually fails a lot, this is true. He fails for a lot of reasons, but incompetence has never been one of them. Usually it's that either things grew beyond his control, or there ended up being too many moving parts, or he had to change his plan at the last minute due to some roadblock or another being thrown his way, or even that he got in his own way - whatever the case may be for his plans' failures, he was always at least shown to know what he was doing.

That wasn't the case here. The "plan" to fix the Timepad failed as a direct result of Loki's actions, which were careless and made him seem incompetent, like he couldn't even handle this mission. "You had one job," etc. And there were pretty big consequences for this; they were not able to get off-world in time and would have been killed had the TVA not shown up at the last second.

And maybe none of these things matter bc the writers never intended any of this to be a reflection on Loki's character, positive or negative. The situation exists solely because the writers needed to put Loki and Sylvie together in some kind of hopeless scenario so that they could get closer, and thus the narrative could set up their romance. I get that - but, there were other ways to do it that didn't require Loki to look foolish.

Furthermore, the whole reason they needed to set up the romance is to show Loki eventually learning to love himself (like, figuratively but also literally). The audience is supposed to gather that Loki and Sylvie fell for one another, possibly due to the high emotional aspect of, yknow, being about to die (in addition to the variant-bond). The intent is clear: Loki and Sylvie almost die but get rescued at the last minute, having now created an emotional bond --> Loki and Sylvie team up and the narrative further establishes that Loki, at least, has caught feelings --> Loki might confess them but is pruned before he gets the chance --> he somehow survives, he and Sylvie are reunited and don't want to lose one another again, and the combined power of their love is enough to break the sacred timeline and spawn the multiverse, and the reason that the power of their love is so, well, powerful is because it's about self-love and self-acceptance as much as it is about having the capacity to love someone else. The end.

I get all that. The writers more or less said all that. And, I mean, it's certainly not the way I would have chosen to go about it, but it's a fair enough arc to explore. I don't really have an issue with the intent - but my question, however, is this: if the narrative has so far not addressed Loki's background issues (as outlined above), and has furthermore kinda gone out of its way to portray Loki as hedonistic and narcissistic, among other things (like kinda incompetent), and the context the audience starts with is that Loki's this villain who deserves what he gets -

- my question is 1, why should the audience care whether or not Loki gets to a point of loving and accepting himself (thus to make the theme of self-love, via the romance, hold weight) if they don't know that he hates himself to begin with and 2, why should the audience root for Loki to reach that point when so far the perception of him is that he's "kind of an asshole"? if he's a hedonistic narcissist, he probably already has a pretty inflated sense of himself, right? A misplaced inflated sense of himself, at that, because, again, the narrative has made him out to be not that capable of much of anything. (And it didn't start out that way! It seemed to start out with Loki being capable and intelligent but it's like episode 3, in trying to set up the romance, just jumbled it all up somewhere. I think this is why I'm harping on the Loki/Sylvie aspect so much - it's frustrating bc it kinda messes up the whole story and can't even accomplish what it's supposed to anyway.)

Anyway, that's beside the point. What I'm ultimately getting at is, at what point is the audience supposed to get invested in Loki's personal growth journey?

They can't, not really. Without understanding and having the context of everything Loki has been through up until now, and why he hates himself, and why it's so important that he learn to love himself, then the "payoff" becomes kinda pointless bc the significance of it is lost in translation. So suddenly we're left with this romance that comes off as either "Loki loves Sylvie bc of Reasons" (best-case scenario) or "Loki loves Sylvie bc he's vain, narcissistic, and kinda twisted" (worst-case scenario). Neither of these conclusions are what the writers intended or were going for, I'm positive, but there we are, regardless.

In order for the writers' intent in these storylines to land, they need to address the context of what makes these particular stakes high for Loki. So far, they haven't done that. They're asking the audience to pick up on all of these things, and they're showing things that subtextually make sense and are relatively in-character - but only if you realize there's subtext in the first place.

But you can't expect the audience to do all of the work for you. If you don't want the audience to think that Loki is a narcissistic asshole and instead you are trying to convey that, worst-case scenario, he thinks he's a narcissist but is an unreliable narrator, then you have to address that. If you need the audience to understand why you're going the selfcest route and why it's important to explore Loki's capacity to love himself and others, you have to address where that exploration is starting from and why it matters. Etc etc etc.

The narrative isn't doing any of that. And it isn't like it'd be that hard to do it. They don't need to reinvent the wheel here; a lot of the pieces are already there. A few lines of dialogue for context, a brief scene here or there addressing the issues, a little more care and consistency in how Loki handles things - these are all little things that could go a long fucking way in making the narrative stronger.

I'm rambling. My basic point is that my rollercoaster of emotions with this show is because

- as a part of the fan audience, not the general one, I can contextualize and analyze the subtext and come to the conclusions the show wants me to, and thus find the story and the characters more or less enjoyable,

- but I am also going to be using the subtext to come to conclusions that aren't there but probably should be (I think it would be a better story, for example, for Loki to confuse platonic love with romantic love bc it would pave the way to explore just how fucked up Loki's understanding of love - whether of other people or of himself, and the different forms it can take - actually is)

- and when they're ultimately not there, then I think, okay why am I bothering doing all this work just to ultimately feel very unfulfilled? They don't even have to write it the way I would, I'm not saying that, but they do have to do something to make the story feel rewarding.

If we don't get some confirmation of what Loki's been through, and where his headspace is, and why it matters for him to love himself, then the story remains pretty shallow and, for me, it's not fulfilling enough. It's not engaging enough. There isn't actually anything to sink my teeth into, so it becomes kind of boring. Maybe it's rewarding to other people, and that's great for them, but like - I need more than whatever this is.

So I'm just like - well, I had a lot of worries about this show, but my being bored wasn't one of them and now there's only two episodes left and am I really not going to get anything out of this, in the long run? No new canons, no new depths or layers, no new information on Loki's experiences? This is it?

I don't dislike it. I didn't start out disliking it, and I probably wont end up disliking it. I mean, there are a lot of good moments, and good things, and fan service-y things that I appreciate. As far as inspiration for fic goes, it's a goldmine, both plot-wise as well as aesthetic-wise. All of that is great. I don't dislike this show.

But I am disappointed in it, and I feel like I'll be watching the next two episodes lacking the sense of anticipation that would make it exciting. I'll still enjoy them, probably, if for nothing else just the sheer Loki content, but whatever it was I felt watching episodes 1 and 2 is gone and I'm sad about that, too. Because I really wanted to feel fulfilled by this series; I wanted it to fill up the void that Loki's death in IW created three years ago. And I just ... don't feel it. Maybe, maybe that'll change over the course of episodes 5 and 6. I don't know.

Everything that I end up enjoying long-term, I think, will come about as a result of my own interpretations and analysis and while theoretically there's nothing wrong with that, if I had known all I'd get out of this series was more headcanons or support for my current headcanons then, well - that's fine, I suppose, but I'll definitely a little bit robbed.

[lowkeyorloki]

lbd

After a fight with Loki, you wear the smallest dress you can to an Avengers press event...

(smut smut smut)

~

The party was awful.

Stark’s press events often were. It was interesting, how the media had changed over the past eight years. In 2012, you and the rest of the Avengers would only be seen on news stations. Now, it wasn’t out of the ordinary to for your names to be in tabloids next to celebrities like Taylor Swift or Noah Centineo. The team wasn’t just heroes anymore, you were public figures as well.

Hence the formal attire, the flashing cameras, the expensive wine. These events only happened about once a year- they were manageable. Just a pain. Besides, you always had Loki to endure them with.

Except, not tonight. And so, the party was awful, not just boring.

The argument you had with Loki last night carried over into today, and when you were asking him about the event, he gave you no answer. Never in a million years did you think he would ignore during this. The press, the world, had never really forgiven him for New York. He was hated by the general public. It didn’t help it was a well-known fact he was with you: you, the youngest Avenger. You, who had been America’s golden girl until Loki corrupted you.

That was what everyone liked to say. Really, you just got older. And cynical. You couldn’t fight the worst of the worst throughout the universe and remain idealistic. 

You and Loki had to stick together for public appearances. The reporters tore you to shreds if you didn’t. And besides that... You didn’t like not being around the god. It was so much better to face things with him. You were together. Even when things were tense, the two of you could always lean on each other. That was the nature of your relationship.

And yet, here you were, halfway through your third glass of champagne, giving Steve a half-hearted smile as he spoke. Every so often, your eyes scanned the large hall, eventually falling on Loki. He avoided your gaze each time.

You wanted to be angry, or bitter. That’s what you felt earlier today when he wouldn’t speak to you. Loki wordlessly dressed in his suit, looked you up and down in your floor length dress, and left your shared room. In a fit of rage, you had dug through your closet for something that would anger him. No, not anger. That wasn’t the right word.

Entice him. Make him protective. Despite your life with him, you were still seen as the innocent Avenger. The normal girl who stumbled into justice. You never wore short or form fitting clothes anywhere there would be cameras. You were modest. That was the role you were pidgeonholed into. Social media, combined with constant interest and exposure, ensured that. In 2020, half of being an Avenger was perception. Every team member was an archetype. Every team member adhered to that. Outwardly, at least.

So when nothing in your closet would accomplish what you wanted, you raided Natasha’s. She helped you pick out something no one would expect you to wear: A silky black body con dress. When you tried it on, it barely came halfway down your thighs. There was little left to the imagination, considering its length and low neckline. 

You paired it with heels, and painted your nails Loki’s shade of green. Natasha gathered your hair into a messy bun, leaving your neck exposed. Even Wanda joined in, brushing sparkles over your collarbone. You looked unlike you ever had before.

Honestly, you looked like Natasha did on a daily basis. That brought you some amount of comfort, knowing you wouldn’t be sticking out. But it went without saying you didn’t look like yourself, and no one had ever seen you like this. The press would have a field day.

But it wasn’t them you cared about. The only person you were thinking about was Loki.

And he didn’t even do a double take. When you first walked into the room, his eyes rested on you just a second. Then he turned away.

So you didn’t find yourself angry like you were just a few hours before this. When Loki ignored you, you only felt... Sad. Empty, almost. You had been upset with each other for less than a full day, but you missed him. If there was no animosity between you two, Loki’s hand would be on the small of your back right now, and he would be whispering into your ear. Sharing jokes about everyone at the party, wrapped up in each other.

You fought so little. It was something you weren’t used to. 

“Hey.” Steve sticks an elbow into your ribs, pulling you from your thoughts. Next to him, Bucky wears a worried expression. “You okay?”

You sigh. Tipping your head back, you drain the rest of your drink and then nod.

“I’m fine, Steve.” he looks uncertain. “I mean it. I can last one night without him. Just because I’m in a relationship doesn’t mean I’m any less independent.”

“I believe that.” Steve agrees.

“You only believe her because that’s how you are.” Bucky grins at Steve, leaning over to steal a quick kiss from Captain America. Steve smiles, just barely, and holds Bucky’s hand in his own after the dark-haired man pulls back. Your eyes flicker away, but a genuine smile grows on your lips. You love to see your friends happy. They deserve it, your whole team does. 

It’s moments like these, when Steve is focused on Bucky and you on Loki, you remember you and Steve used to date. It seems like a completely different time, but it wasn’t even ten years ago.

You were with Steve when Loki attacked New York.

“I’m going for a refill.” you state. Both men look uncertain. You pay it no mind. “Do either of you want anything?” 

They shake their heads in response, so you make your way over to the bar. There’s no one there, not even the bartender, which bothers you at first. Then you realize it’s exactly what you need. Just a few minutes alone to clear your head. The bar is in same room as everyone else, so classical music and conversation are all around you. Still, you manage to find solace.

It’s quickly interrupted. 

“Hello, darling.”

Loki.

His breath tickles the back of your neck as he speaks. As soon as you’re aware of his presence, his smell envelops you. You shiver, noticing how close he must be to you.

You don’t turn around.

“Hi Loki.” you greet him back, eyes forward. You voice almost shakes, and you exhale, willing yourself to keep cool. Loki was always so calm and collected, something he used as a weapon. Clearly, even against you.

Loki hums, and his fingers softly begin to dance over your bare shoulder. 

“You look different,” he states. “With those shoes, you almost reach my height. But darling, you have never looked so small.” Loki’s voice drops on that last word, and a wave of heat flashes through your body. You set your glass down on the counter next to you, worried whatever Loki does next will cause you to drop it.

“Funny.” you say. “I don’t feel small.” You know Loki, know what the word small is code for. “Or weak.”

Loki tuts, and his large hands slide from your shoulders to your hips. Your dress is so short that his pinkies lay on your bare skin.

“No, I suppose you don’t.” Loki leans in, his lips brushing the shell of your ear as he talks. You can’t help it, you tremble, your surroundings beginning to fade away as you focus on the god. “I bet you felt quite powerful, teasing me in this dress. Talking to Steve Rogers.” Suddenly, Loki pulls you into him, and you gasp. His length presses completely against your ass, and you are barely able to bite back a moan.

This is harder than you’ve ever felt him. Your breathing becomes hitched, but Loki’s strong grip keeps you glued to him. His fingers dig into your hips, and you’re sure there will be bruises tomorrow.

“Did you think,” Loki rolls his hips against you, causing a mewl to escape your lips. “...that I would forget your past with Rogers? That it had just, slipped my mind that he is the only man you have ever laid with besides myself?” Loki’s lips connect with the crook of your neck, pressing wet kisses there that are anything but gentle. “Or was that the point? To make me jealous?” Loki’s next words shake you the most. “Can you even count the amount of times I have been inside you?”

Just like that, his hands relax, and you begin to catch your breath.

“Smile.” Loki points, and you notice the groups of reporters making their way to you, cameras flashing. Loki pivots, turning both of you so you face the them. He drops one hand to his side, but the other snakes around your waist. It won’t be obvious in the photos, but his fingers are dangerously close to your heat, filling you to the brim with want.

Just as you manage to get yourself under control, the cameras begin flashing. You force a smile, and when you look at Loki, he’s staring straight ahead, expressionless.

You hated getting photos taken, knowing the headlines they would be paired with. But Loki hates it even more. You were always the victim in the media’s eyes, but Loki had never outgrown the villain. He worked so hard to be good, so hard to change. And for what? No one believed him, save for you and his brother.

Your heart grows heavy, and despite the fight, despite the teasing that left you melting in his arms, you want Loki to know you appreciate him. 

You tug on the front of his suit jacket, capturing his attention. Loki looks down at you, confusion in his eyes. You reach forward, placing your hand on the back of his neck and tugging him down so his lips met yours.

It was filthy, the way he kissed you in front of the press. Loki once again pulled you to him, your chests pressed together. He laid his hand on your back, and thank god he did, because it kept you grounded. Your teeth clacked together more than once, and Loki gave you no opportunity to gather yourself before he sucked on your bottom lip. Your were eyes closed, but you still heard as the reporters went wild, cameras snapping as they each tried to get the juiciest shot.

Loki was the one who ended the kiss, tugging away from you. He took your hand in his, waving with the other. In the crowd, you could see Steve standing in shock, arm around Bucky’s waist. Stark was next to them, looking furious.

Loki makes eye contact with you before he briskly walks away, tugging you with him. You have no time to ask where it is he’s taking you before you somehow slip into the kitchen unnoticed.

The kitchen staff stops, and you realize what this must look like to them. Loki, with a hungry look in his eyes, and you, swollen lips and practically half-naked. Jesus, was this where you thought the night was going?

“Get out.” Loki addresses the staff. They share glances, unsure of whether to listen. Loki sighs. “We are two hours into a four hour party. No one ever comes for food, they just want to drink. You are no longer needed. Now, get,” Loki’s irises flash green. “...out.”

They listen then, rushing out of the doors and through the backroom that will lead them from the building. The locks on each door click shut, surely a result of Loki’s magic. 

“You.” you squirm under the god’s harsh gaze. “Are a very. Stupid. Girl.” with each step Loki takes forward, you take one backwards, until your back is against the tiled wall. Your heart begins beating fast. You look to Loki’s pants, taking in the tent. Your heart rate accelerates even more.

He places his hands on the wall, one on either side of your face, trapping you with him. Wordlessly, Loki begins sucking on your collarbone, his lips moving down your breasts until they hit the neckline on your dress. Your eyes roll back, and you grip Loki’s hair tight. He rams his knee in between your thighs, and you cry out. 

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” he rolls his hips, and now that you’re alone, you can feel and experience it to the fullest expense. Your mouth falls open as Loki presses his clothed length against your clothed sex, moaning and letting out a string of curses. “Look at me, darling.” You listen, obeying Loki as he removes his knee. 

Loki makes full eye contact as he takes your left breast in his hands, kneading and massaging you as he gauges your reactions. You begin panting, and soon enough, Loki grabs the front of your dress with both hands and rips it, exposing your bare breasts.

You hiss at the sudden cold, but it doesn’t last long as Loki sucks on your nipple, running his calloused thumb other the other. Loki swirls his tongue, and you whimper, arching your back. As the sensation builds inside you, Loki takes a steps back, drinking in the sight of you.

“The media won’t soon forget this. Until now, the worst they had caught us doing was holding hands.” he growls. His lips are redder than usual, and his hair was messy because of your fingers in it. “I can imagine the scolding from Stark.”

“Who cares about Stark? You just ruined Natasha’s dress.” you say, your voice strained. His absence is noticeable, and your body aches for Loki’s touch. He raises an eyebrow.

“Sweet girl, whose fault is that? None of this would ever have happened if you simply dressed appropriately.” the hair on your arms stands up. Loki hums. “I think you should make it up to me. You got us into this mess, did you not?” Loki smirks.

The feeling in your stomach builds up again, lust taking over you. You take off you heels, and sink to your knees. Loki’s pupils dilate as you move closer to him.

You unbuckle his belt, sliding it off and discarding it on the floor next to you. Slowly, you unbutton Loki’s dress pants, your fingers catching on the tip of his underwear as you do.

You want to draw this out, to tease Loki as he teased you. But when you see his hard length, and the damp spot on the cloth holding it, you can’t bring yourself to. Loki is a god, much stronger and faster than you. When you turn to dust, Loki will be as young and full of life as he is now.

But his needs are the same as any other man’s. You’re determined to fulfill them.

You brush your mouth over him, causing Loki’s eyes to close momentarily. When they do, you waste no time exposing him. Loki fingers run through your hair immediately, grasping tightly. You can hear his breathing become just a bit irregular. 

You keep your eyes on Loki’s as you lick him, from shaft to head. You lap at the precum there, then slowly take him into your mouth.

Loki lets out a sigh, his lips parting, and you rub circles onto his hipbones with your thumbs. You bring your arms against your chest, pushing your bare breasts up to make them appear bigger. You want to give Loki the best view possible.

It must have worked, because Loki’s hips buck forward. The tip of his cock hits the back of your throat, and you almost gag. Instead, you moan around him. setting a slow pace. Every so often, you flick your tongue across his head, and Loki tugs on your hair when you do.

Loki quivers, and he’s thrown his head back now. His eyes are squeezed shut, his mouth open, and he looks so pleased. Pride washes over you at the thought of you making him feel this way.

You bring your hand up, taking the parts of Loki that your mouth just can’t reach. With the added freedom, you circle his tip, switching up the pressure and surrounding him with your warmth. Carefully, you cup his balls, making sure every part of him is paid attention to.

Loki groaned as you fucked him with your mouth, cheeks hallowed. He begins panting, holding your head even tighter. His shirt has ridden up over his navel, and the sight nearly drives you crazy.

“I’m going to-” you don’t let him finish, picking up the pace until Loki jerks forward, spilling his seed with a curse.

There’s so much, some dribbles out the corners of your mouth before you can swallow it all. Your chests warms at the idea of part of Loki being inside you. You’ve barely leaned back to catch your breath before he’s pulled you up and into a kiss, groaning as he tastes himself on you. Your body becomes slack, relying entirely on Loki’s for support. 

“You’re insatiable.” he says into your mouth. He picks you up, and you wrap your legs around his waist. Loki carries you to a nearby counter and sets you atop it.

Your dress is hiked up to your hips now, leaving you covered in just a g-string. As Loki begins to take it off, you stop him.

“Wait.” you say. He stops, giving you a surprisingly soft look. “I just...” you splay your hands across Loki’s strong chest. “I want to see you too.” your voice is quiet. 

Loki places his hands over yours as you unbutton his shirt. You slide it down his shoulders, then trace his collarbones and curve of his abs. Under the fluorescent lights of the kitchen, Loki looks even more pale than usual, the sharp contours of his body illuminated and exposed.

You never grow bored of the sight of him.

Now fittingly bare, Loki’s fingers travel up your thigh and stop at your sex. Similar to you, his gives you a few strokes over your thong before he rids you of it in one fluid motion. He angles himself to you, his tip teasing your entrance as he smirks at your noises. 

He enters you all at once. You bite down on his shoulder, nails raking down his back. You hold tight to Loki as he sinks into you, moving in a slow and almost tantalizing way. There’s sweat on both of your bodies, and despite your exposed state, you feel yourself heat up. 

Loki’s rhythm increases as you adjust to him. His hips move back and forth, and your bodies move in tandem, made for each other. You coo into Loki’s ears, moaning about how good he felt. How breathless he made you, how only he knew how to make you feel this way. No one knew your body like Loki.

The coil inside you finally snaps as Loki hits a pleasure spot deep inside you, and you let out a cry into his shoulder. Loki cums not long after, his body going tense as he rides out the wave of pleasure.

He holds you, rubbing your back as the aftershock rocks through your body. You shake, exhausted and satisfied as you close your eyes for a moment of rest. 

Eventually, Loki sets you back down on the floor. He tugs your dress down over your legs, and tucks stray pieces of hair behind your ears. You watch him wordlessly, allowing him to take of you.

After Loki is dressed himself, he gives you the jacket of his suit to wear.

“Oh.” you look down, remembering he ripped your dress. You slip the jacket on, buttoning it to protect the little modesty you have left.

He takes your hand, leading you to the door and back into the party. Before he does, you stop.

“I’m sorry about our fight.” you say. Loki lets out a chuckle, making you feel silly.

“Oh, sweet girl. After a tryst like this, I can assure you all is forgiven.”

[loving-all-for-loki]

Your writing is so wonderful! Could I maybe request something comforting? I’m currently recovering from a surgery to repair my foot with bone anchors and I’ll be bed ridden for 6 weeks. Maybe something with Loki being very supportive and caring for the reader 24/7, moving into her room etc. and the team are just surprised at how helpful he’s being to her. 🤗.

A/N: I’m sorry if I posted this at a weird time, but I have the next chapter to my series Voiceless Love coming out and I wanted to give this fic some time to be seen before that got posted. It’s also a little short, but I felt like this was perfect as a short and sweet fic, instead of a 2k+ story, haha. Also, I know it isn’t 100% exactly what you wanted, but I get stuck with one idea and run with it, oops. I hope you are getting better with your foot. That stinks so much and I’ve been there with my own ankle injuries. If you have any requests for some fics while you recover, send them my way! I always need some inspo and if I can give you some entertainment during your recovery, that would be great. Now, read this, get some sleep, and drink some water. I hope you heal nicely <3

Lucky

Loki x reader

Word count: 1533

Warnings: Pure fluff, just fluff, fluffiness, maybe a bit of sexualizing Loki (I couldn’t help myself)

Seeing your friends carrying big heavy boxes for you swells your heart. It’s also hilarious to see Thor actually struggling to carry something. Tony finds it amusing too given that he’s not doing any of the work but it’s sipping mimosas next to you. Thor grumbles about getting all the heavy boxes, but you also know Sam and Bucky purposely avoid the big ones.

If someone were to tell you ten years ago that you’d be saved from getting tortured by Hydra and become an Avenger, you’d tell them they’re delusional, but this is your life. Even after years of torture and pain, you considered yourself lucky. You could have been the new Soldat, ruined over and over again to be a war machine, but now you’re a trained assassin like Bucky and Nat with a broken leg.

You lean yourself against a wall in your room with your crutches beside you (along with Tony, of course, that lazy bum). Steve, Bucky, and Thor are carrying in boxes while Sam, Nat, and Peter help unpack some things. Today is the day you officially move into the tower with the rest of your teammates and due to your current disability, the other avengers offered to help you. Another reason why you consider yourself lucky.

Peter is by far the most adorable on the team. He’s fully unpacking for you, even arranging the frames on your shelves and the organizers on your desk. He at point made your bed when Steve brought in your blankets and sheets. Bucky has been super sweet, too, giving you funny looks every time he passes by and asking where the best spot for the box he is carrying to go.

But the one “avenger” you didn’t expect to be as helpful as he is, is Loki. The others told him to move out of the way, not wanting his condescending attitude to ruin the fun day, but Loki started to carry boxes in as well. The first time, the avengers were stunned by him, but then they were gracious because he used his magic to transport them, making the job go by quicker. Loki just stands at the bottom of the truck outside and wipes his hand over each cardboard box, sending it to your room.

You really are lucky.

-

Two days pass by and you decide to ignore your laziness and finally unpack the rest of your boxes. You attempt to push some photo boxes on the top of your shelves, but you find yourself stretching so hard to reach the top. Your foot injury really is stupid and you just want to be able to normal walk, or jump, or even go on your tip toes.

Then you hear a sly chuckle coming from behind you. You let out a frustrated sign knowing exactly who it is.

“Loki, if you’re going to stand there and laugh at me, could you least help me and laugh at me?”

“Of course, darling.” He jokes.

He comes up behind you and takes the box from your struggling fingertips and carefully paces it on top of the shelf.

“Is there anything else you helpless being needs help with?”

“I could use help with hanging my window curtains.”

You point to the box in the corner with your large sheer curtains folded in them. He chuckles and goes over the box, carefully picking them up and hanging them on the frame. You can’t help but notice his figure as he hangs them. He is a marvelous being and who are you to deny your eyes of such a sight?

The sight in front of you proved that you are lucky

-

Tony gathers the group for a game night and it results in everyone becoming drunk and children. At some point, it becomes a truth or drink game night and everyone has their poison. You have your legs laid over Loki’s lap, who was really hard to convince to join the game, and a bottle of Smirnoff Ice in your hand, only because Tony didn’t have anything else. Loki’s slowly running his fingers over your legs, but higher than your cast.

“Okay, Steve,” Natasha coos, “your turn. Have you ever done drugs?”

“I did marijuana in high school once.”

The whole team gasps and whistles at his answer.

“Captain ain’t so wholesome, now, is he?” Sam cackles.

“I remember that night,” Bucky laughs, “You were so high.”

Steve chuckles and nods his head before looking to see you cuddled up next to Loki and gets a wicked idea.

“Loki, you’ve been quiet. Your turn.”

“Please no, I’m beyond your little games.”

“Aw come on, brother! One question won’t hurt you,” Thor laughs.

“Who in this room would ever kiss?”

Tony whistles and takes a sip of his drink as everyone else laughs. You can feel the ice giant get slightly warm out of embarrassment. His face is flushed with a rose pink color as you get nervous, lightly chuckling to himself.

“I uh…”

“Answer it. Answer it. Answer it.” Sam chants.

Everyone chuckles at the clear uncomfortableness of the god, not seeing him like this often.

“Y/N.” He whispers, almost too quiet for you to even hear.

“Louder, brother. I couldn’t hear you,” Thor says innocently.

“Y/N.”

You smile up at Loki in shock. He won’t look down to meet your eyes but stares straight out the window past Tony. The entire team cheers and chuckles.

“Oh, we’re never letting that one down.”

“How lucky am I?” You laugh.

-

You attempt to cook yourself some lunch but your stupid cast is getting in the way of moving around. It’s getting tiring to pick up your crutches every time you need a tool two feet away from you. Letting out a frustrated sigh, you hit the edge of the counter with the spatula in your hand.

“What is wrong, dearest?”

You turn your head to see Loki standing behind you with a concerned look on his face, this time not here to make fun of you.

“I’m tired of my stupid foot getting in the way of doing normal activities.”

“Darling, sit down. I’ll make lunch for you.”

“Loki, you really-”

“I know I don’t have to, but I want to.”

Loki picks you up and sets you down on the couch while also handing you the remote. He goes to the kitchen and attempts to resume your lunch.

“Sweetest, what are you cooking?”

You laugh really hard at his confusion.

“Fajitas.”

“What are those?”

“See Loki, it’s fine! You really don’t have to.”

“And I’m not going to. I’ll make Stark do it.”

Loki orders JARVIS to get Tony and finish making lunch for you. You laugh and shake your head at Loki as he sits down beside you on the couch. He starts to run his fingers through your hair but keeps getting caught in the tangles.

“Why is your hair like this?”

“It’s hard to do anything while standing up. I can barely brush my teeth without falling over.”

“Well, it looks like I’ll do that for you, too.”

“Loki, I swear if you-”

“No point in arguing. I’m going to assist you.”

You rolls your eyes at the cocky god as he smiles at you. Nuzzling your head into his neck, Loki holds you tightly in an embrace. Tony comes in to see you two cuddling and shakes his head.

“You are so lucky we love you.”

-

You wake up the next day to see Loki sleeping beside you on your bed. You try to remember anything that happened last night, but you were so tired, nothing comes to mind. If you didn’t have a broken foot, you would be concerned about waking up next to a god, but you also know he wouldn’t have done anything with your injury. He’s too kind (much to some disbelief).

“Good morning, darling.”

Loki leans over to you and kisses you on the forehead. He wasn’t as asleep as you thought he was, but you’re not complaining. Waking up beside this adonis isn’t the worst way to spend a morning.

“Good morning.”

“I don’t care what you say,” Loki smiles, brushing a piece of your hair behind your ear, “you’re staying in bed and I’m waiting on you.”

“That’s very sweet. Thank you.”

“I’m glad someone learned something last night.”

“Actually, I don’t remember a lot from last night. I was tired.”

“We bickered about me waiting on you, hand and foot.”

“Hmm, that sounds about right.”

“So, today I’m treating you like a proper princess.”

“Does that mean we’re together?”

Loki looks at you confused, but his face lights up when he realizes what you’re implying.

“I suppose so. In that case, my princess, I will wait on you.”

You watched as the god all day served you lunch and dinner. He brushed your hair and teeth. Helped you change clothes. Played your music to cheer you up. Even carried you to the bathroom when you had to go.

Thinking about all the things your friends have done for you and all of the things that Loki, your prince, has done, all you can say is how lucky you are.

[heyheyloki]

The Thought Of You

Summary: Not remembering the night before, the reader distances himself from Loki.

Loki x M!Reader

It was always one thing. Perhaps it was Tony and Steve arguing, or maybe Thor bothering Loki, and maybe it was you making fun of the spider boy. Whatever it was, it was exciting for others to watch. However, between all the fighting, Loki and you never did. It was odd to everyone else since they had this deep hatred for the God of Mischief. To you, you didn’t care, you enjoyed Loki’s presence and always knew if you needed a break from the others, you’d go to him. He was always there, even if the two of you started out on a bumpy road since he was hesitant of you when you first came around. 

Loki thought you’d be like everyone else, so it wasn’t totally personal. Though, after your many attempts to get to know him, his wall eventually fell around you and then, the bonding started.  Everyone around the two of you thought it was weird, after all, Loki was the man who wanted to take over Earth and sent an army onto New York City. Even with that fact, it never seemed to bother you.

Tony Stark always thought something would happen between the two of you, and Thor was more than supportive is it came to be. Steve had some issues since he was close to you as well and just wanted the best for you, and, well, he just didn’t think that ‘best’ was Loki. Nat and Clint seemed indifferent, but were happy with anything you decided. Banner, on the other hand, flipped from Tony and Steve’s perspective at times.

You always told them that Loki and you were just friends, but Loki never seemed to comment on it. In the back of your mind, you knew the god had looks but you cherished the relationship between you and him now. You didn’t need to progress it further since you were quite comfortable where it was. Though, perhaps that was about to change.

After a late night of drinking and dancing courtesy of Tony Stark, you were out for the count. By the time your hung over eyes had opened, you noticed it was almost noon. A groggy groan escaped your chest as you sat up from your rather large bed, again, courtesy of Tony Stark. Your body didn’t even take up half of it, and speaking of your body, when you gazed down at it you noticed your fluffy, grey night robe.

You didn’t exactly remember putting it on, but you didn’t care much. At least, you didn’t care then. When your ears started to work once more, you couldn’t help but notice the sound of your shower running. It was connected to your room and when you gazed towards the door that was shut, the light underneath was shining through.

“What did I drink last night?” You mumbled to yourself as you collapsed back into the bed, your body bouncing a bit.

As your mind tried to figure out what had happened the night before, you heard the shower faucet squeeze close and the water stop it’s pattering. You didn’t bother to look, not that you weren’t curious who you probably slept with last night, but you just didn’t care. It wasn’t common for you to have one-night stands but it wasn’t something you didn’t participate in from time to time.

You could hear the person turn the doorknob before it creaked open, their bare feet stepping across your hardwood tile getting louder as they stepped closer.

“Are you up yet, [Name]?” The stranger asked. Though, that voice wasn’t a stranger to your mind.

Your eyes fluttered open to get a look at a man half naked in your room, the towel around his waist poorly done as if he’d never done it before. The long, black hair he had was wet and textured with like curls. His body had little muscle but his thin figure made up for it, the muscle he did have off subtle lines about his body that was beyond a godly sight.

“Uh, Loki?” You mumbled out, his eyes looking at you as if waiting for you to continue moving your lips.

Though, when you didn’t, he answered with a confused, “Uh, that is my name.”

“Right, right.” You uttered, his words snapping you out of your mind. Without even a second thought, you hopped out of your bed. You quickly tied up your night robe since you didn’t seem to be wearing anything underneath except for a pair of boxers. “I’m, uh, gonna go talk to Tony.”

“Stark?” Loki questioned. “Why?”

“Oh, yanno, Avenger stuff.” You chuckled out as you slowly began to inch for the exit.

“I can occupy you, if you wish.”

“No!” You screamed. Your voice startling both you and him. You cleared your throat to quickly say, “I think he wants to do a few tests on me. You know how those are, very private. I’ll see you later, ya? Okay, bye!”

Your hand reached around for the door handle and slipped yourself into the hallway before slamming the door shut behind you. Your back soon going against it as you took in deep breaths. It could have been anyone else, anyone in the damn place and you would have been fine. But, Loki? Why did it have to be him that your drunken self choose?

“I’m so gonna get shit for this,” You uttered as you began to travel down the hallway towards the main area of the building.

“Morning, [Name].” Nat said as she and Clint sat on the couch watching movies.

You nodded in her direction before shuffling into the kitchen. You needed something cold, or hot. No in between for this one. As you were pouring yourself a cup of coffee, you heard footsteps make way towards you.

“What’s up with you?” You heard. Your eyes gazing over at Nat who stared at you with crossed arms.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” she started out saying. Her body slowly making way towards yours. “Normally, every morning, you say good morning back. You never give a simple nod. So, what’s wrong with you?”

Your eyes blinked rapidly for a moment before letting out a sigh. You knew there was no way for you to get out of this one, but than again you didn’t want her to spill anything to Steve, Banner, or Clint. So, you gave a half lie.

“Just not to happy with who I found in my bed this morning.” You laughed off. “Nothing to worry about.”

Nat stared, her eyes moving up and down before giving a simple, “Okay. Just make sure whoever the mystery man is is out before Tony comes back.”

“He’s not here?”

“Nope. He went out for a bit, but he’ll be back soon.” Nat explained.

You nodded before grabbing your coffee and heading out. You weren’t sure where to go. You wanted to go back in your room, but you didn’t know if Loki was still there. You wanted to go sit in the living room, but you didn’t want questions from the others. So, you choose the next best thing. Wonder about the halls. It wasn’t as bad as you thought, in fact, it was quite therapeutic when gazing out at the birds that flew about. You seriously thought you’d get a break, well, that was until you felt a tap on your shoulder. 

You turned around, the soft smile on your lips dropping, your body grew hot at the God of Mischief that stared back.

“Are you alright?” Loki questioned. “You seem.. off.”

“Wha, um, what?” You asked, your throat going dry as your mind thought about what could have transpired the night before. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

Loki tilted his head as he eyed you up and down. You noticed every single, tiny detail about him to the point were you noticed the small flicker of his eyes, the tiny redness of the tips of ears. Not to mention the explosive feeling when his hand came to rest on your lower back way too casually.

You quickly grabbed his wrist, your grip tight but not tight enough for Loki to notice a difference. “What are you doing?”

“What do you mean?” He questioned. For he first time since you’ve met him, he sounded completely innocent. “Would you like me to take you back your quarters? You look rather flushed, are you sick?”

“N-No, I’m not sick.” You stuttered out as you pushed his hand off of your body. The lingering effects causing your mind to turn foggy, it was the first time in a while that you felt such an effect from a simple touch of another. “I’ll go to my room by myself.”

“I don’t mind the trouble, really, allow me to occupy you.” Loki stated. His body ready to move right along side yours.

“No, seriously.” You stated as your hand came straight flush against his chest. The moment it hit, your words ceased to exist. It felt odd, to fell his heartbeat. You never thought in your lifetime would you be able to feel it, much less this clearly. Though, something was off with it cause you swore for a single second that you felt it skip a beat.

“I, um,” you hummed out as you placed your hand back at your side. “I’ll go by myself.”

When you turned away from the God of Mischief, it was like your entire body became cold. The feeling of him slowly slipping away from your presence was almost the worst feeling you’ve ever experienced before. It was like moving away towards the perfect, most handsome looking sun you’ve ever laid your eyes on.

When your back fell into the bed, it was like everything you were feeling hit you at once. All the things you kept towards the back of your mind came to the front, center stage. All these questions entered your mind.

What did you say to Loki while drunk?

You know he isn’t effected by Midgardian liquor, so, he was completely sober. If so, did he take advantage of your drunk state?

Sure, he was Loki and tried to take over Earth at one point. But you wouldn’t call him evil, at worse you’d give him the ‘bad boy’ label.

Did you really sleep with him?

“Shit,” you grumbled to yourself as you began to bite down on your bottom lip. You knew you had some kind of feelings for Loki, and yes you shut them down as quick as they came for obvious reasons, but you didn’t want everything to come undone just from some liquor. If anything, you at least wanted to tell him at the right time when you were sober.

Turning on your side, you pressing your knees into your chest. It really was nagging, this unknown feeling. You knew the only way you were going to get answers was from Loki himself. However, the thought of that was too much. It was like you were ripping off a bandage that you had just placed on. You were frightened that when it came undone, the painful ripping would completely tear away at what relationship was already there.

“Sir,” Jarvis called out. This wasn’t uncommon since Tony had made sure to install Jarvis in every aspect of this place. “Dinner is ready. Everyone is waiting on you.”

“Okay, thank you.” You hummed out as you gathered yourself before heading out once more. Was it too much for you to be left alone today?

When you made your appearance at the large set table, everyone finally began to eat. Steve made it top priority that everyone must be present before eating, for some reason unknown to Tony and you.

You were seated next to Tony and Thor, Loki sat across from you with Natasha and Steve on either side of him. The food that was presented to you was a simple meal. Take-out. You knew everyone had kitchen duty at least once a week, so you began to believe it was Tony’s week thanks to this being the third time take out was for dinner. Though, you were impressed how he managed to make simple take out so impressively set out like it was from a five-star restaurant.

“How was everyone’s morning?” Steve asked politely. This was routine.

“Fine, just woke up with a massive hangover.” Tony said with a funny-looking smirk that made most of the people sitting around him laugh in amusement.

“Same.” Natasha said. “Remind me never to drink at your parties.”

“Eh, it was still fun. Even if I don’t remember most of it.” You commented. Your eyes going off on their own for a moment before connecting with Loki. Except, his eyes were already on you. With no expression on his face and this certain look in his eyes while staring, it made you zip your mouth quickly. Your eyes darting back down towards your food.

Loki raised a brow quizzically before his attention was brought back to Natasha when she asked you, “Did you manage to get the mystery man out of your bed?”

“What?” You flinched, your hand even lost hold of the fork. The noise it created as it rang the glass plate caught more attention than Natasha’s comment.

“You okay, [Name]?” Steve asked with a curious look.

“Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be?” You questioned back. If they didn’t know you, they’d drop it. However, they did know you.

“Is it someone we know?” Tony asked with a sly smirk. The look he gave made something turn uncomfortably in your stomach. “Or, maybe the same guy from last time?”

“No,” You lied. “He was a stranger.”

“That is quite exciting.” Thor chuckled as he tried to learn more about the human customs of ‘one night stands’. Something he, for some reason, doesn’t know.

“It really isn’t, but thanks.” You reassured.

“I would disagree.” Tony commented. “I think they’re rather.. thrilling.”

You rolled your eyes as you began to eat once more. Your eyes desperate for another peak at the man across from you. In the back of your mind, you told yourself no. It wasn’t worth it. Just ignore him. Though, your body denied itself to listen to your brain and gave into the desire. In that moment, everything froze. For some unknown reason, it was like everyone else in the room disappeared. The only ones left where Loki and yourself. That look in his eyes, the way his hand held up his head. Everything told you this was a dangerous game you were playing.

“[Name]?” Thor asked, his voice pulling you out of the void and back to reality. “Are you going to eat that?”

“What?” You mumbled before gazing down at the food that you haven’t eaten yet. You shook your head before pushing the plate towards the God of Thunder.

“You sure? You didn’t eat much.” Steve asked, his eyes growing to big puppy eyes filled with concern.

“Yeah, I’m not that hungry anyway.” You waved off. Your body soon standing up from your chair as you dismissed yourself from the others.

You didn’t bother to wait around for good nights or goodbyes from the others. Your feet aimlessly moved around until you rounded the corner. The quick footsteps that grew closer to you the furthest thing from your mind. So, when you felt your body get pressed into the wall, you couldn’t help but let out a loud gasp. Your mouth quickly getting covered by a rough, large hand.

Your eyes quickly began to analyze everything in front of you. Your mind processing the face and body that belonged to Loki, the hand that pressed against your mouth his. He eyed you down for what felt like a decade, that was until he broke it to gaze down the hall for any incoming Avengers. When he didn’t see anyone, he slowly released his hand from your face but still kept you pinned to the wall.

“What are you doing?” He asked, his question rough and demanding of answers.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Dont play dumb with me.” He hissed out. “You’ve been avoiding me all day, what is wrong with you?”

“I’m not avoiding you.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Loki huffed, his patience wearing thin. “Then why did you run away this morning? Or when I saw you earlier, and how do you explain not even capable of holding eye contact with me at supper?”

“That was nothing.” You mumbled out, your head turning to the left and down so you didn’t have to look at him. Though, you suppose that was pointless.

His hand was quick to grab onto your chin to make you face him once more. “Don’t look away from me.”

You could feel your body temperature rise, the feeling brutal to the point were you had to bend your leg a bit and tap your fingers just to calm yourself a bit. Everything in your mind ran so quickly that you began to believe you would have a malfunction up there. Though, instead of a malfunction you ended up just blurting out, “Did we sleep together?”

You watched as nothing but pure confusion twisted in Loki’s face. You weren’t positive yet if that was good or bad, but something deep within your stomach told you not to make any false moves. Not to assume anything until you hear his words.

“Would that really be so bad?” He asked, his voice low.

“I don’t mean it like that.” You corrected. “I’m just asking cause I don’t remember anything from last night and when I wake up you were in my shower.”

Loki sighed, his body taking a step back to allow yours to breathe. “No, we didn’t.”

You wanted to desperately to let out a sign of relief. However, you were smart enough to read the look on his face and know this wasn’t the right time for that.

“Then, why were you there?” You asked.

Loki sighed, his eyes making contact with yours before beginning to explain. “I took you back to your room since you were probably more drunk than Stark. I didn’t mean to upset you if I have, I just thought it would be best to keep an eye on you until you fell asleep. I suppose at some point I did as well.”

“So, you took care of me.” You stated as you took an unconscious step closer.

“I suppose so, yes.” He said. “Was that wrong of me to do?”

“No, no.” You ushered out quickly. “That was fine. I’m glad you it was you.”

“You are?” He asked, his eyes staring into yours.

You nodded. Another step closer taken. Both pair of eyes danced with the other as each of you stared at the other. It was this moment of silence that you appreciated the most, cherished the most. It was an intoxicating feeling to sit in silence with Loki, to allow no sound of voice to flow between the both of you. The way your heart beat so intensity, the thoughts that crawled out that always made a shiver go up your spine, well, it was nothing but pure ecstasy.

“Come to my room.” You blurted out, the afterthought not even in question. You meant what you said, and Loki could see that as well by his silence nod and questionless lips.

As the two of your traveled, Loki following behind you in silence, your heart began to pound faster. The wonder of what would come to pass filling in your veins and by the time you came upon your room, you didn’t waste time to lock your door just in case.

“I want you to know something.” You said as you sat down next to Loki on the edge of your bed.

“What is it?” He questioned, his eyes never leaving yours for a second. After all, that would be too long for him.

“I wasn’t in regret or anything, I just wanted to know the truth.” You stated clearly. “If I ever did that with you, I rather remember the time clearly.”

You noticed the adam’s apple in Loki’s throat bob quickly after your words. The way his eyes now going frantic about your body without shame made your hand grip onto your pants. It was a new feeling, but one you enjoyed. Having him look at you felt nothing like anyone else in the past had done, when it was him and only him, you felt like he was looking at the stars.

“Allow me to be frank?” He asked, his question answered with a simple nod.

When Loki leaned in, he stabilized himself by moving one of his hands on top of yours, his fingers snaking in between the spaces in your hand. You felt him grip a bit harder, in a relaxing way before speaking his mind.

“I find myself thinking of you even at the most.. inopportune moments of the day. I feel as if a link exists between your heart and mine and should that link be broken either by distance or by time, my heart would cease to be and I would die.” Loki freely spoke. His voice soft, and low as he spoke so that only you would hear this side of him even if no other soul was nearby to hear. “And you.. you’d soon forget about me.”

You leaned your head, a plethora of emotions washing over you at once. Though, you needed to address this one thing as if life and death hanged in the balance. Your body scooted closer to the God, your hand that connected with his now placed on your lap before saying, “Loki. I’d never forget about you.”

The God let out a dry chuckle. “I acknowledge that. I just suppose that’s my fear speaking.”

“If we’re being so open, I’d like to say something as well.” You said, his eyes looking at you with such patience that you’ve never found before. “You make me feel.. you make me feel vulnerable. Every time your eyes meet mine I can feel you looking at my very soul, and I don’t like it. Do you know?”

“Do I know.. what?”

You smiled softly, your hand squeezing Loki’s as you ask, “Do you know what it’s like around you? It’s like.. It’s like I can’t breathe when you’re around and everything stops. When everything stops, I can only focus on you.”

You’ve never really seen Loki smile, but he had granted you the privilege of seeing a few times. However, you instantly knew this kind of smile, the soft and sweet kind he directed towards you was your favorite yet. Sure, the causally smirk or smile was nice, but this one was for you and you alone.

And you loved it.

[loki-hargreeves]

Loki x Reader - Thanos controls You

Warnings: angst, mentions of torture, mind-control, fighting, choking, blood and gore, more angst (it's a lot ok)

Word Count: 5,8K

Summary: After failing to deliver the Tesseract, Loki has been living in fear that Thanos will one day find him again and seek revenge. You have been missing ever since Loki was imprisoned after what he did in New York. Little did Loki know that you were with Thanos all along. During the events of Infinity War, Thanos makes you battle Loki in order to obtain the Tesseract

Author’s Note: I know Thanos doesn’t have the mind stone at the beginning of Infinity War but it’s fiction and I’m gonna do what Marvel does best, ignore canon. Let’s blame the Other’s powers, okay? Please enjoy this angsty little thing! :)

YOUR POV

“There’s room for more!” Loki yelled over the cries of scared children and their crying families. There was no way he would send a half-empty escape pod on its way to Midgard. That’s when he saw a child all by herself a little further away. She was clinging onto the wall for dear life and the ship trembled due to the impact of getting shot at. Her parents were nowhere to be seen. Dead. Loki felt sick to his stomach when he knew they were most likely dead. Thanos’ children were slaying kids and their parents heartlessly and they had the audacity to say they were being rescued. That their deaths were part of something bigger than life itself.

They viewed Thanos as a god who was being merciful even when he ripped a beating heart out of someone's chest.

Loki’s heart clenched in his chest painfully. Before it would be too late, he made his way to the tiny child and picked her up carefully. She seemed to recognize the prince but she wasn’t afraid of him. Instead, she hugged Loki so she wouldn’t fall out of his grasp.

“Where’s mommy?” The girl sounded absolutely petrified.

Loki didn’t know what to say as he made his way to the pod. Once he reached it, he saw a woman by the entrance.

“You’ll be safe here,” Loki promised the child as he handed her over to the lady. That’s all he had time for as he returned to the corridor. A particularly loud blast made him stumble over his feet and he had to catch his balance by taking support from the metal wall. The lights flickered, which meant the electronics of the ship were injured. There was a strange smokey smell in the air, which lingered with the irony stench of blood.

Loki couldn’t believe this was happening. Had Thanos finally come for him? Or did Thanos somehow know of the tesseract? Either way, if Thanos succeeded, he would kill two birds with one stone. The thought of this being all his fault made Loki nauseous. Guilt was nibbling at his skin and he knew it would eat him alive in the end. He never wished for this to happen!

As he ran down the corridors frantically searching for Asgardians that needed help, he heard different kinds of cries. People were letting out guttural screams. Others were pleading for their lives. Listening to the massacre that was taking place was worse than any nightmare Loki ever recalled having. They were all drained after Ragnarok and now Thanos had found them. It was haunting how ruthless fate could be.

Footsteps began to approach Loki and they were awfully close. Too close for his liking. He was quick to grab his daggers and turn to face whoever dared try to sneak up on him. When he saw a familiar figure, he nearly dropped the blades from his hands. Seeing you there was like shock itself punched him in the face.

You were there, real and clear as day.

How long had it been since the last time he saw you?

Ever since Loki had found out about his true nature, his life had gone downhill. After he ended up with Thanos and went through pure hell with him, he had changed. During his time away from Asgard, he had only missed one person truly - you. You, who had been by his side through everything. You, who hadn’t loved him any less when you saw his deep blue skin and those crimson red eyes that in Loki’s mind resembled blood. You, who had seen him as the rightful king of Asgard when everyone else betrayed him. The light of his life, the angel that had cared for him even when he felt like a monster.

You, who hadn’t been on Asgard when Thor brought him back to face Odin in trial. Loki had spent a lot of time in his cell, alone. He waited for you to appear but you never did and no one ever told him why. They rather left him to drown in his own vicious thoughts. It wasn’t until Loki pretended to be Odin that he began to learn what had happened on Asgard during his exile.

The people at the palace loved to gossip. Some claimed you had stolen a ship and left Asgard behind for good, that living as Loki’s widow had been too hard for you. In Loki’s darkest hours, he wondered if you truly felt ashamed for being associated with him. So ashamed in fact, that you had left it all behind and started anew. Sometimes, he believed that, but it never stopped him from trying to find you. He had searched night and day but it seemed like you had vanished into thin air. It had killed him more every day living in the unknown. His only wish had been that you were okay.

Now there you were, looking like you had never left. In a moment of pure shock, Loki couldn’t even begin to comprehend how you appeared on the ship - seemingly out of nowhere. He was happy to see you, despite how appalling everything else was at that moment.

“Y/N,” Loki spoke your name softly and dared to blink. When you were still there as he opened his eyes, he felt goosebumps all over his skin.

You looked at him so innocently, but then he noticed that something was off. The look in your eyes was cold. You weren’t in your typical Asgardian gear. Instead, you were dressed in dark armour that Loki could’ve sworn he had seen before, but he didn’t know where. Nevertheless, it made him feel uneasy.

“It’s been a while, Loki,” You attempted a smile as you walked closer to him, your husband. It still counted since he had never truly died, right?

Loki didn’t stop you as you walked right up to him. His eyes never left yours. Part of him wanted to kiss you, to hold you and feel you were real, but the shrieks in the background reminded him of how dangerous everything was. The daggers disappeared from his hands and Loki held you by your shoulders. He needed to see that his hands wouldn't go right through you, that he hadn't lost it.

“You need to get off this ship, Y/N!” He told you seriously. There was profound fear in his voice.

Instead of being worried at all, you just smiled back at him.

That was so unlike you.

“Y/N, do you hear me?”

“Oh, I do,” You confirmed nonchalantly, “I’m not going anywhere. Not yet.”

A bloodcurdling cry startled Loki. They were coming closer and closer. The two of you wouldn’t be safe in that passageway for long. By now, his heart was racing with his thoughts. He felt panic settling into his bones.

Before Loki could say another word, you cupped his face rather gently. The fact that you didn’t seem disturbed by what was happening was eerie to Loki. He knew that you had a heart much bigger than anyone else he knew of. The version of you he remembered wouldn’t have been so calm. Something was terribly wrong.

“I need something,” You admitted and batted your eyelashes. Before, Loki would’ve found that quite adorable, but at that moment it was so wrong. He had been so ecstatic to see you and know you were alive, but now he almost wanted to run the other way.

“What?” Loki barely found his voice at that point. He felt sick and heartbroken. This had to be a nightmare, the worst kind.

“The Tesseract, Loki. I really need it,” You blurted it out.

Shivers ran down his spine. How did you know about it? Why did you even care? He was unsure if he could even trust you with the knowledge that he had it in his possession. Usually, he would’ve trusted you with his life without any hesitation, but you had been gone for years and returned like this, with bizarre motives.

You returned at the same time as Thanos and you were looking for the tesseract. Loki wasn’t a fool. He finally put two and two together and the realization was too arduous to believe. The idea of you and Thanos even meeting was something Loki could only see happening in his worst nightmares, but he was afraid it had already occurred. If so, he needed to hear it from you,

“Is Thanos making you do this?”

The tone of his voice seemed to offend you as you sent him a nasty glare. Your softness turned harsh and you pushed Loki against the metal wall with a loud thud. Before he could get out of the way, you grabbed your own dagger and pressed it against his neck so it was ever so slightly pressing against his exposed skin.

“He is not making me do anything. I am glad to serve the all-mighty Thanos. I won’t fail him, unlike you,” You snarled at Loki spitefully.

Never in a million years had Loki imagined this moment to happen. One where you would be fighting against each other. It was supposed to the two of you against the nine realms. Being held like that by the one person he loved more than anything was tearing his heart to shreds, but he tried not to show it.

Deep down, he knew it wasn’t truly you. He knew exactly what Thanos had done to you so you would act like this, and it only made it hurt so much more. It felt like someone was pouring salt into an open wound, and his entire body, heart and soul were wounded.

“Now give me the tesseract and we will be on our merry way,” You tried to obtain it again. This time you seemed more serious. Was it the tone of your voice or your weapon pressed against his pulse? Loki didn’t know.

“I don’t have it,” Loki lied as smoothly as he could because even thinking straight at that moment felt impossible. The world was caving in around him at supersonic speed.

You pressed the sharp edge of the blade closer to him, feeling how just a little bit more pressure would've broken his skin “You’re a great liar, my dear, but I know that’s not the truth.”

Loki didn’t want to fight you, but he didn’t see another way out. And it was good for him that you had learned most of the tricks from him. Your every move would be more easily predictable for Loki. He had to find a way to distract you.

“Why do you need it?” That was a foolish question. He knew damn well what Thanos would do if he got his dirty hands on the infinity stones.

“Why do you care?” You didn’t answer his silly question.

Suddenly, Loki grabbed your wrist tightly and yanked your arm to the side. He tried to be as gentle as he could, but Loki knew you wouldn’t go down without a fight.

At least your weapon fell out of your hand, but you knew how to defend yourself without it. So did Loki.

Loki tried to turn things around so he would have you pinned down against the wall, but you didn’t let him get that far. As he turned you around so your back was pressed firmly against his chest, you kicked your legs against the wall hard, pushing both of you back. Loki took the biggest impact as he fell on the floor, with you on top of him. Quickly, you rolled out of his grasp, turning around in one swift movement so that you were now sat on top of him, with your legs tightly against both his sides.

A powerful orb of magic grew above your fingertips and you brought it closer to Loki’s face - so close that he could feel the heat of your burning powers. The magic created an electric sensation on your skin. It felt like you pushed your fingers deep into warm sand. Toying with it was exhilarating, and seeing the astonished look on Loki’s face made it so much better. The green light of your powers cast light in his eyes, only deepening the look of disbelief that was painted all over him.

“It’s sweet that you’re trying not to hurt me,” You taunted him at that point, “but that doesn’t mean I won’t hurt you.”

“This isn’t you, Y/N,” Loki groaned. He was so sure of himself.

You tilted your head and smirked, looking at him like a cat would at a mouse. “I don’t know, Loki. It’s been a while,” You explained casually and leaned closer and closer to his face, stopping when your noses brushed against one another. By now, Loki was frozen on the spot. He was trying to come up with a plan and he felt hopeless.

“I’ve changed,” You whispered to him and felt tempted to kiss him, to taste him. Would you taste his fear? His heartbreak? You were sure it would taste sweet.

“The torture must’ve been painful,” Loki pushed his feelings aside. Yes, he felt like his heart had been ripped to shreds, but he had to do something. He had to surprise you, even if it would hurt. Words could hurt more than actions, and if Loki wanted to survive and to help you, he needed to reach the real you even if the only way to do so was cruel.

How did he know? You narrowed your eyes and surprisingly, found yourself waiting for him to continue.

"I was trained well."

"Trained?" Loki spat out harshly, "I know you're afraid. He has promised you something worse than the pain he has inflicted on you already. It won't happen. If you let Thanos continue his reign, he will not care about your loyalty!"

"Shut up!" That was too much for you. With tears brimming your eyes from anger, you put your hand over his mouth to silence him. He didn't budge and you didn't know why.

You pushed the memories aside. The painful memories of the time Thanos first found you. It was wrong to think of it as torture. No, he had shown you what you're truly capable of. It was training. Training to become a stronger person after the hell you endured on Asgard.

But now that you found yourself thinking about it, it seemed like the memories were all blurred as if you were looking into the past through a broken lens. Someone had spilt oil all over it and the pictures were warped.

"I know you have it," You needed the tesseract. "Give it to me and then this will all be over," you removed your hand from his mouth because it looked like he wanted to speak.

Loki knew that if he’d push you, your magic could burn him, but at the moment he couldn’t come up with another plan. He couldn’t just stay on the ground as people were being killed on the other side of the wall!

"Okay," Loki blurted out. Okay?

For a moment, he had you surprised which was the perfect distraction.

Loki grabbed your wrists tightly and pushed you to the side, but not quickly enough. You released your magic and it graced the side of his face, making him growl out either in pain or frustration - or both. The two of you rolled over and this time Loki was on top, holding your arms pinned above your head. You were trapped because of one mistake. You couldn't believe Loki had used the element of surprise to turn the situation upside down.

Furiously, you tried to kick your legs free, but he had you pinned down beneath him and Loki was strong. There was no point in squirming, you had to come up with another idea.

The two of you faced each other and Loki revealed his face and the damage you had done. Your magic had burned his skin and left a bloody cut on his eyebrow. It had just barely missed his eye. If he lived, it would surely leave a scar.

You flinched when a drop of his blood hit your cheek and it rolled down the side of your face.

"What are you going to do, kill me?"

Loki could never bring himself to kill you. He wouldn't be able to live with himself with your blood on his hands. No. He had other ideas. Loki remembered what it was like to be under Thanos' control. He remembered how much it hurt to even think about the torture. He had to remind you, he had to make you see that this wasn't the real you.

"This version of you, or I certainly hope so," Loki replied mysteriously. Before you could ask him to elaborate, Loki released your wrist and slammed the palm of his hand against your forehead. In a split second, you were in a different place - in your head. You could've sworn you heard him mutter "I'm sorry," before everything turned black.

It was hot, burning hot. Metal chains were attached to you and they were glowing red. Torching. You could only scream in pain as the metal sunk into your skin, your bones, your nerves. It felt like he had chained your mind and with the tiniest movement of his finger, he could make you do his dirty work.

He, Thanos, was sitting on his throne. He was the puppet master and you the puppet. He didn't look at you fondly. No. He was smiling as he watched you cry your lungs out, letting out animalistic growls as the pain got worse. It was so overwhelming that every once in a while, you would scream until you passed out. But every time, one of his children would be there to wake you up.

It was time for another round. And another. And yet another. Would it ever end?

Each time you tried to resist the chains, the strings that were sewn onto you and connected to his fingertips, it hurt more. Eventually, you learned that allowing the strings to tighten around you made it hurt less. It almost felt good, like a long embrace after a long day.

"I don't want to hurt you, my child."

Lies. You knew that all he said were nasty lies, but sometimes it was easier to believe lies than the truth.

"Make it stop!" You would beg him. How long had you been there?

You could remember Thanos touching your face gently, which was so comforting after everything you had endured. At the same time, it made you sick. You couldn't believe that the one who had caused you distress could have such a gentle touch.

"You're ready," Thanos had realized. The Other had appeared right before you and his fingertips were pressed against one another, making him look like he was deep in thought. You had no idea what they were doing, but the next thing you knew was that you no longer felt pain.

The chains, the strings, they were all invisible. It looked like you were free, but the weight of the metal was still pressed against your skin. Had you imagined it?

No,

Deep down you knew that the strings were still attached to you, but they had only made it seem like you had a choice.

"Excellent," The Other's voice surprised you. You merely blinked and you had returned to the vessel. Loki was above you and the Other was standing right there, "You found him."

The Other used his powers to push Loki off you. Shock had made your entire body numb and you couldn't scramble up to your feet. It felt like your limbs had been turned to stone and you were anchored to the floor.

Loki got up slowly with his arms raised in surrender. He was well aware of the powers the Other had and Loki wasn't going to fight him now. If he followed you for long enough, then maybe just maybe he could come up with a plan. Loki looked at you as you finally got up. As you stood next to the Other, you couldn't believe your legs carried you. Something was so wrong. You felt sick and you couldn't shake it off. It felt like something had snapped within you, but you didn't know what.

"He is waiting for you," The Other explained as he turned to walk away, most likely to wherever Thanos was waiting.

Loki had no choice but to follow, and you walked behind, making sure he didn't try to escape.

Why did Loki make you remember that? What did he think he would obtain with making you relive something so awful? It hadn't worked, right?

There he was. Thanos was standing by a hole that had been ripped into the side of the ship. Magic was keeping it sealed so the vacuum of space wouldn't suck everyone into it. But still, the emptiness of space wasn't frightening at all compared to the titan who was standing right there.

Loki swallowed thickly as he saw him again. It had been years but he remembered everything like it had happened yesterday. Seeing Thanos standing in the middle of the piles of bodies, in the room that smelled like smoke and blood, was sickening. Thanos hadn't just killed a part of Loki. He had just slaughtered these innocent Asgardians with the help of his so-called children. He had taken you.

He will make you long for something as sweet as pain

Loki closed his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. They had stayed true to their threats.

"I know what it’s like to lose," Thanos turned around now that he knew Loki was there. At long last. Thanos had not forgotten what Loki had failed to do, and Thanos was a man of his words.

"To feel so desperately that you’re right yet to fail, nonetheless," Thanos continued dramatically and slowly made his way closer to Loki. He saw Thor on the ground, bloodied and weak. The brother of Loki. As tempting as the idea was to torture Thor right in front of the god of mischief, Thanos had different plans. If there was only one way Loki would ever give him the tesseract, it was going to be in order to save you. You were Loki's true weakness.

"It’s frightening. Turns the legs to jelly. I ask you, to what end?" Thanos looked Loki right in the eye. He could see that Loki was afraid, yet Loki never looked away from him. He was either too proud or fearless. Thanos had liked that about Loki initially. But he had failed Thanos greatly. It had cost him infinity stones.

"Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same. And now, it’s here. Or should I say I am," Thanos finished his dramatics because it was time for action, to turn the wheels and see the bigger picture. This was the end of an era and a new beginning for a different universe. In Thanos' mind, only he could bring balance and order. He gestured for you to walk up to his side.

Too afraid of the idea of what would happen if you disobeyed, you walked right up to Thanos, feeling like a fly that was willingly flying into cobwebs. When you were close enough, you kneeled and dipped your head so he wouldn't see the worry in your eyes. It wasn't there before.

"I didn't obtain the tesseract from him, but I am sure that he has it, father," You muttered quietly. Why did you say that? There was a pounding headache growing within your skull. You didn't know what was right or wrong anymore and you couldn't fight it either.

Father

Loki clenched his jaw as he followed the situation closely. Hearing that made his blood boil. He wanted to rip Thanos apart after this. Never in a million years had he imagined this, to see you pledge your alliance to Thanos, kneeling before him and respecting him. Thanos didn't deserve that. Hell, Thanos didn't even deserve to look at you. It was wrong.

At that moment, Loki worried that his trick hadn't worked. That the memories hadn't awakened anything within you. That it was all too late now. This was the end, the one thing in life that was inevitable.

"I know, my child," Thanos let out a sigh. Then he grabbed you by your jaw like he had done before, forcing you to face him. "I know he has it," He repeated and suddenly his touch turned violent. He closed his hand around your neck tightly and you gasped for air helplessly. Your hands - tiny compared to his - grabbed his fingers and you tried to pry them apart, but he was tougher than you. Panic shot through your entire body when you realized you couldn't breathe. It turned your blood to ice and your poor heart was beating so hard you were afraid it would explode.

What was he doing?

The moment he pulled you to your feet, so high that you had to stand on the tips of your toes, he spoke, "The tesseract or her life," Thanos smiled devilishly, showing no remorse. He didn't care about you. You were a pawn in his game and if you would die at his feet, he would just walk over you and carry on.

"You choose," Thanos put the weight of the world on Loki's shoulders.

Loki wanted to rescue you from that monster, but he wasn't stupid. With all of Thanos' children surrounding him, he knew that he would be dead before he could reach you. Nonetheless, it didn't mean he wouldn't try. Seeing you clawing at Thanos' hand, fighting for something as simple as air and not getting it was heartbreaking. Loki's body was trembling with hatred and hurt. Tears blurred his vision and he struggled to keep his composure.

How had it all come to this?

The thought of Thanos with the tesseract was haunting. Soon he would have all the stones and he would destroy reality as they knew it. But Loki could live with that. He couldn't live knowing you had died when he had a chance to save you. Perhaps he was selfish for choosing you over the entire galaxy, but Loki didn't care. Nothing mattered if he would lose you again.

"Alright, stop!" Loki made up his mind. "I choose her," Finally, Thanos released his grip on you and let you fall on the cold ground. Your hands wrapped around your throat gently and you coughed painfully. It took you a while to finally breathe again, which was a huge relief for both Loki and you.

And now Loki was holding the tesseract. It was so bright that it painted the space blue. It was almost too bright to look at. The power within the stone was so strong, you could sense it like heat from the sun in spring after a long and cold winter. Loki was tempted to use the tesseract to grab you and escape, but he quickly shut those thoughts away. Thanos would follow him for the end of all days.

"You...you really are the worst, brother," Thor was following the situation to the best of his abilities. He spat out blood as he watched Loki holding the cube. It made him sad. Everything they ever knew was destroyed in the name of power, pure and raw power that the tesseract could offer. Was it worth it?

Loki glanced at Thor who was too weak to even get up. He didn't care too much about what he had to say. Then he looked at you. There you were, on the ground struggling to breathe after Thanos had crushed your windpipe. There was bruising on your skin that would only deepen with time. Time that you possibly wouldn't have after this.

He saw the tears running down your face, but you didn't sob and whimper. It seemed like you were as still as stone. You couldn't bring yourself to face Loki.

"I assure you," Loki found his voice and he addressed both you and Thor with his words, "the sun will shine on us again."

What did he mean by that?

You were ashamed to tilt your gaze to see him, to see the tesseract. The damn infinity stone had ruined it all! It was why Thanos had wrecked Loki, why he had destroyed you too. Why so many people were now dead. If you had one wish that could come true, you would wish for the tesseract to be destroyed forever.

Thanos had his back turned to you. Loki was slowly but surely making his way closer to the titan, almost like he was afraid to move but he forced his body to comply. Why? Why would he trade the tesseract for your life? It seemed like whatever spell you had been under had worn off. You were free, but it was more terrifying than being under Thanos' control under these circumstances. He didn't need you, and soon enough the vessel would be blown to bits. All of you, even Loki.

Would you be able to tell him how sorry you were?

"Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian," Thanos wasn't fond of Loki's strange choice of words.

"Well for one thing I'm not Asgardian," Loki replied quickly. It sounded a little bit witty, which was confusing. Where did the boost of confidence come from? Was he up to something?

"And for another," He continued dramatically. This time it was Thanos' turn to be confused.

"We have a Hulk."

Everything that happened after that happened so fast that you could hardly keep up with it. Loki dropped the tesseract and he leapt toward you. Thanos barely had time to turn around when a huge, green beast appeared out of nowhere and it seemed angry. It was eager to fight the titan.

Loki had you up on your feet in no time and the two of you ran away from the immediate danger. He led you to one of the many corridors on the vessel until no one could possibly see you. They were too distracted by the Hulk to even think about Loki and you. It wasn't until he was right in front of you that you could comprehend what was going on. He was kneeling on the floor and you were sat against the wall for support. Your hands were trembling so hard, it seemed like you were freezing up and you couldn't make it stop.

Loki had tricked Thanos.

He was relieved when you didn't fight him, yet he was unsure if it meant you were no longer under Thanos' control, or if you were simply too tired to fight.

He cupped your face gently and searched for answers in your expression. Back in the day, he had been able to read you like an open book.

You put your hands around his wrists and pulled him closer. You were desperate for the comfort he could bring in the midst of the living hell you were stuck in. How did he not hate you?

"I'm s- I'm sorry," You whimpered, finally cracking like a plate that had fallen on the floor. "I'm sorry."

"Shh, it's okay," Loki couldn't possibly let you apologize for what had happened. He was possibly the one person who understood exactly what you had gone through and what it was like to follow orders from that monster. There was not an ounce of judgement to be found in his heart.

What mattered now was that you were together again. You could come up with a plan, but you had to work fast. As much as Loki wanted to hold you and comfort you, to feel that you were real, he knew there wasn't enough time for that.

"We need to get off this thing," Loki's mind was running a marathon as he tried to come up with an escape plan.

"They're gonna blow it up," You explained, feeling how bad your lips were quivering as you spoke. The moment Thanos had what he came for, they would leave and destroy everything they'd leave behind.

Shivers ran down Loki's spine as he heard that. It only confirmed that you had to act quickly. Loki wasn't sure how long the Hulk could fight Thanos. Would they be able to rescue Thor? How much time did they have?

The blood in the wound you had caused on his face was beginning to dry. It looked gnarly and all you wanted was to make it all better. Knowing that you had hurt him made you sick with guilt.

"I'm sorry, Loki. I didn't w-want to fight you," You sniffled, breaking Loki's train of thought. For the first time, he felt lost. He didn't really know what to do. Were there any escape pods left?

"I know," Loki assured you. "I know that. I was in your shoes when I was on Midgard," He explained briefly, unaware whether or not you knew of it. Had Thanos talked about him to you?

A sense of impending doom weighed you two down. If this was the end, then at least you were together, right? You and Loki against the nine realms, you would face the end together if there wasn't another way out. Whenever you had pictured your final day, you had imagined something entirely different than this. You would be old together, with hundreds of stories of your shared life. You would be surrounded by people you cared about. It would be calm, the exact opposite of this.

"I love you," You needed to tell him that. Any moment could be your last. The world would cave in and you would be gone forever.

Loki hated how much that sounded like a farewell, but at the same time, it had been so long since he had last heard those three words, let alone from you. Perhaps it was sick and twisted, but it made him smile.

"I love you too," Loki was sure of it. He had never stopped loving you and he didn't think he was even capable of that.

It seemed like you acted on instinct. You found enough strength to push yourself right against Loki. There was no hesitation in your actions as you kissed him. Loki closed his eyes when he felt your trembling lips pressed against his. Your scent, still sweet and familiar despite it all, punched its way into his lungs. He held your face gently but the kiss was passionate, almost despairing.

You wanted to scream out in agony because at last, you were reunited with Loki but not in the way you imagined. You felt like the shell of the person you were before, and now you knew for a fact that Thanos had done the exact same things to Loki. That titan had killed your souls beyond repair. But all you could do was kiss Loki and hold him and hope that he could feel how sorry you were. You didn't want to let go, afraid that if you did, it would all end. Just like that.

Loki broke the kiss, and for a moment you rested your foreheads against one another like you had done so many times before. It was comforting. You both wanted to stay close like that, but you recognised that you couldn't. Letting go of each other and getting up on your weary feet was so incredibly difficult, but it had to be done.

The world around you began to glow brighter. You quickly held onto Loki, startled as the mysterious light surrounded the two of you.

Loki held his breath as he studied the warm glimmering magic that had swallowed you. In between the bright rays of light, he saw all the colours of the rainbow. Shimmering. He saw reds and blues, yellows and greens, shining brighter than the other and it changed smoothly.

The Bifrost

He didn't know how or why, but he knew for a fact that you were in the magical portal. He couldn't see beyond it anymore. He couldn't feel the floor beneath his feet. It was like he was levitating mid-air, with you tightly in his arms.

Heimdall must've conjured the forefathers, letting their powers flow through him one last time. Where to? Loki assumed that anywhere would be better than where they had been mere seconds ago.

And it was a miracle.

A/N: I think it would've made more sense for Heimdall to send Thor or Loki to earth rather than the Hulk. So that's why I ended it like that

I'd absolutely love to hear your feedback! <3

TAGS:

Loki: @yuna-belikova @ornella0910 @castiels-majestic-wings @lucywrites02 @myraiswack @prettysbliss @weirdfangirl2416

Forever Taglist: @iraniq  @embrycallsgirl  @blackroseyaz @badass-psycho @r-alexandra01 @p3aches13 @your-pixels-are-showing @disasterren @iamsuperjenna @yuna-belikova @ornella0910 @optimisticpeacecollector5 @thehumanistsdiary @your-pixels-are-showing @klanceiscannon14 @i-have-arrived-bitch

[gaitwae]

Deserving [|] Loki x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of emotional infidelity

Summary: You talk to Loki while preparing him for his “trial.”

Tags: @make-me-imagine @thorfanficwriter @bwemph @myraiswack @rorybutnotgilmore @loki-snape-our-hero @wolfish-trickster @lucywrites02 @mostly-marvel-musings @winterfrostsarmy @superheroesandstardust @castiels-majestic-wings @geekns @natandersonnla @cozy-the-overlord @megthemewlingquim @frostedgiant @whatafuckingdumbass @thebookbakery @delightfulheartdream @twhiddlestonsstuff @lokistan @the-emo-asgardian @amwolowicz @itscomplicatedx @sophlubbwriting @darkacademicfrom2021 @lilyofthesword-writes​

Justice was never about the truth. That’s all Loki ever found out when serving in Odin’s court, and it was all that was true now. Here he stood, heart heavy, body weighed by chains, and whatever cavity where he soul laid was empty. He couldn’t think much past Thanos’s torture; past a pair of eyes he couldn’t remove from his mind; past his wife, Sigyn, and all she hadn’t asked for.

She never asked for a Jotun for a husband.

She never asked for a minion of a Titan.

She never asked for a spouse with a wandering heart.

You stood by him now as they shackled him up in as many cuffs as they could find. You tightened the restraints on his wrists. “Please,” Loki begged, “say something. Say anything.”

“What am I supposed to say?” you asked, your voice hollow. You sounded as if you had been crying. That was quite unlike you, so it couldn’t be true. You wouldn’t look at him; his wife had not spoken to him since this whole ordeal happened, yet your refusal to even meet his eyes was what hurt the most. The dungeon was dark. “Am I supposed to express my pity? Confess some undying love from our youth? What is it that you want, Loki?”

“I want…” Loki trailed off, sighing deeply. He wasn’t sure what he wanted. He did not know what to say to his long-time friend, nor did he know how to express the depths of his heart. He wanted to say many foolish things. He wanted to cry, to hold you, to whine like an unfed infant and cling to you. Y/N was not the faithful woman who had stood by his side, but instead a friend. He felt too ashamed to entertain the thought any further. “I want you to know I was not in control of myself.”

“Loki, enough of your lies,” you said quietly. You finally met his gaze. Your eyes were moist and red. You dropped his wrists. “It’s unfair to Sigyn. If you want to lie to yourself, that is fine, but do not lie to your wife.”

“I lie enough to her as it is,” he murmured. He blinked repeatedly. “Every time I say I love her, I feel so much guilt. Nothing I have done has proved that to her. I was forced to live through so much pain… yet I did not think of her.” 

“No; you thought of ruling Midgard and Asgard,” you spat. The rest of the guards had left by now. They were alone: alone to argue; alone to cry; alone for Loki’s secrets to say secret. He wanted to confess to you, just once, to make it go away. If he was going to live in solitude, at least his wife wouldn’t have to see his face or hear his true feelings. 

“I didn’t,” he said, just as harshly. “I couldn’t. I thought of running away to my love every day, but it was not her. Father thinks I am a monster; why shouldn’t I play into his prejudices and condemn myself? I have not kept my heart true; I have not deserved the love come from her!” He was getting too emotional now. He took a deep breath, then said lowly, “You must tell Sigyn to dissolve our marriage and to take a different husband.”

“Why must I do that?” you asked. “Who do you truly love? Does she not deserve to know?”

“She does,” he said quickly. “She does…”

“Then who is it?” you pressed, anger filling the tension between them. Loki swallowed, allowing the word to collect on his tongue before he spoke it. You were patient. Sigyn had always been patient, but you knew what he was really like. You had seen him after every outburst, every meltdown, and you were still here to speak with him. Sigyn had seen the charlatan and dubbed him  “husband.” You had seen the man and dubbed him “traitor.”  

So why did he love you?

“Forgive me,” he whispered, saying everything he needed to in the apology. Within the second he uttered it, you were crestfallen.

“Who is it?” you repeated.

“You already know!” he answered, a sob mixing in with his words. “Y/N, I’m so sorry I never said anything to you… I never wanted this to happen to us.”

“Oh, no,” you cried quietly. You shook your head, keeping your hands at your sides. Loki didn’t know if you wanted to throw a punch or grip him by the shoulders and shake him out of his nonsense. “Loki, no! Say it isn’t true!”

“I can’t,” he whispered. “I can’t…”

“You cannot love me!” You stepped back.

“I do!” he insisted. He kept his eyes on you, and Y/N didn’t look away. “Would I lie to you now, when I could very well die tonight?” 

You cupped his face with both hands. After a moment of contemplation, you spoke. “No. No, you wouldn’t. You’re too afraid of what people would think to lie about something so serious.”

“You mustn’t tell her,” Loki pleaded. “Sigyn was the only one who ever warranted my love… I would change it in a heartbeat if I could…”

“I don’t want you to,” you sighed bitterly. “That is the worst thing. I do not want you to love her; it’s selfish, it is horrid, but I want you, too.”

Loki gasped at that. “Stop it.” He shook his head. “Stop, Y/N, you’re better than that.”

You pulled him down to rest your forehead against his. “I know.” You gave a shaky breath. “I should have kept you by my side. I should have stopped the wedding, but… You are married. Odin might kill you, but if we’re lucky you are going to spend your life down here.” You closed your eyes. “Focus on Sigyn. She needs you. She is loyal. She loves you.”

“I love you,” Loki reminded you. “I have since we were children. The poor girl should never have met me.”

“Loki, don’t say dangerous things.”

Loki nudged your nose with his and stole a sweet kiss. His chest was on fire with misery, but he could allow himself this one pleasure. This one last pleasure. It was all he wanted… “I am the God of Mischief. Saying dangerous things is in the job description, my dear.”

You stood still. You cupped his neck. “Focus on Sigyn…”

Loki said nothing. He couldn’t. They just stood in the forbidden air they had created. As the time for his trial grew nearer, You pulled away from him and held his shoulder.

“Let’s go. Time for justice.”