#logging off before i burst into tears

[kaisollisto]

[makoodles]

ミ sex education

part one. | part two.

🍓 pairing: jake sully x human fem reader x neytiri

🍓 tags: nsfw, best friend!jake, dilf jake cause i can't help myself, jealousy, allien cultural misunderstandings,size kink, alien genitalia, human x na'vi, oral sex (fem receiving), fingering, vaginal sex, threesomes

masterlist

reblogs are always enormously appreciated!

You have no idea how you’ve managed to get yourself into this position.

Well, that’s not strictly true. You suppose it all started with your best friend stuffing you full with his fingers until you had trembled apart in his arms. 

You awake the morning after, loose-limbed and jelly-jointed with a sense of bone-deep satisfaction, naked limbs tangled with Jake’s big blue ones. He’s comically overlarge for your bed, his legs hanging off the edge of the mattress, and one of his big arms is looped lazily over your back. 

You had expected things to be awkward afterwards, but when Jake finally stretches himself awake he just greets you with a yawn, slaps your ass, and asks if he’ll see you later on for dinner. When you agree he kisses the top of your head, wiggles his way back into his loincloth, and gives you a cheeky wink before sauntering out to return to the village.

You’re left bewildered and alone in your room. Truthfully, part of you had expected him to freak out a little over awaking naked in your bed after indulging in inappropriate activities with you the night before; maybe panic and call it all a crazy mistake. You certainly hadn’t expected him to act as though waking up with you naked in his arms was the most natural thing in the world.

You spend the day alternating between overthinking and relishing the memories of Jake’s hands on you. Good god, had you been missing out on that all along? He had seemed so casual about it all, as though it was simply a given that he would finger you to climax if that’s what you wanted. 

You have to take a cold shower shortly after Jake leaves, partly to calm yourself down and partly to wash off the scent of Jake that still clings to you. If your dull human nose can pick up on it, you can only imagine that you must stink to a Na’vi, so you make sure to scrub at yourself with your berry-scented shower gel until you smell of nothing but artificial human soap.

You’re still a little nervous when you wander into the village later that day, but you’re greeted as enthusiastically as ever by the whole Sully family. Jake ruffles your hair and winks at you before clapping Neteyam on the shoulder and leading him off towards the cookfire to gather meat for the family. 

You’re left with Kiri and Lo’ak, and you can’t help but smile as the kids start to shepherd you towards the usual spot where you all usually take meals.

“– and then Lo’ak fell all the way down and landed flat on his back,” Kiri is telling you a story with great relish, walking close to you. “And all the girls he had been trying to impress thought it was so funny–”

“It was on purpose.” Lo’ak blusters, picking up the pace so that he can come up on your other side and interject. “I was trying to make them laugh–”

“Oh yeah? Did you mean to burst into tears too–?”

“Shut up!” Lo’ak hisses at his sister, but it comes out as more of a whine. “I did not burst into tears!”

The familiar sound of their bickering soothes away the last of your nerves. Your shoulders loosen, and you start to smile as you follow the kids towards their usual spot for dinner. Neytiri is already sitting there with Tuk, brushing back her youngest daughter’s hair and murmuring softly to her. 

Your stomach clenches at the sight of her; you have no idea how she’s going to react to you, and you have no idea how you should act around her. You’re still trying to wrap your head around the fact that Jake pleasuring you like that had been her idea, and you feel yourself start to sweat at the thought that she might act differently around you now.

As Kiri and Lo’ak approach the log where their mother is sitting, she looks up and smiles when she sees them. She really is very beautiful; her amber eyes are bright, the skin at the corner of her eyes crinkling up with joy at the sight of her children. She’s graceful even when she’s sitting down, her long limbs corded with lithe muscle as she stretches out next to Tuk. 

Just the sight of her makes you feel clumsy and ungainly, and you feel your cheeks heat as you approach.

Her eyes flick from her kids to you where you’re following behind them, and you tense a little as you wait for her reaction. To your surprise, her face doesn’t contort into an expression of disgust like you had been expecting – her smile gets smaller, almost knowing, but no less genuine as you come to a halt by the log she’s sitting on. 

Lo’ak and Kiri are still bickering as they flop down on a log next to their mother’s, but Neytiri is still looking at you. Her eyes flicker from your head to your toes rapidly, as though checking you for injuries.

You’re wearing the Na’vi clothes that have been gifted to you again today, and you shift a little self-consciously under her gaze. You feel more exposed than ever, and you’re hyper-aware of the subtle bruising around your tits from Jake’s teeth; you just pray that they’re not obvious to anyone else.

Neytiri reaches out to you, and you blink in bewilderment as she grabs at a string of broken beads on your top that you hadn’t even noticed before now. She peers at it critically, before looking up to your face with a small frown. For a moment you wonder if she’s angry at you, and feel your stomach sink rapidly until she speaks.

“He was gentle?” She asks quietly, and you twitch when her palm grazes the side of your breast. “He forgets himself, sometimes, and you are very weak.”

“I–” Your tongue feels too large in your mouth. You stumble over your words clumsily; your whole world has narrowed down to that one, confusing point of contact between Neytiri’s hand and the underside of your tit as she studies the broken string of beads. “He was– it was good.”

Neytiri hums, and you swear her mouth twitches as though she’s holding back a laugh. “You should have asked for it earlier. You know we would not have left you feeling neglected.”

You make an odd noise in the back of your throat, mortified. You dart a panicked look towards the kids, but Tuk has wandered over to Lo’ak and Kiri and they’re all laughing together a few feet away, blissfully ignorant of your conversation.

“I– I didn’t–”

Neytiri chooses to ignore your fumbling, instead leaning down closer to your chest so that she can tie the snapped string of your top. The back of her hand brushes over your nipple and you tremble, confused as warmth blooms in your lower belly.

“You have needs that must be met,” Neytiri murmurs, her voice low enough that it’s just for you. “You do not need to look elsewhere to have them maintained.”

Your heart leaps and your stomach flutters, and you hurriedly lower your gaze. This is far from the reaction you had expected from her, and it makes you nervous. 

Stop it, you think furiously to yourself. They’re your friends! They’re married!

“Right.” You choke out, cheeks burning. “I– um… thanks.”

She nods, but then pauses. Her face is hovering close to your chest so that she can look closely at the snapped string of beads on your top, but she leans even closer as her nostrils flare. A small frown creases her brow, and her pretty golden eyes snap up to look at you. She’s so intense, and being caught up in her gaze like this has you feeling like a fly trapped in amber.

“You have used the demon soap.” She notes, still frowning. 

One of her knuckles brush over your nipple as she fiddles with mending your top, and you end up jolting at the sensation as blood rushes to your face. You can only pray that she didn’t notice your reaction.

“Oh, yeah.” You choke out a reedy laugh. You know that the Na’vi don’t like the artificial, acrid smell of human soap, but you had figured it was the best way to get the scent of your activities from the night before off you. “I, uh… I reeked of Jake. Thought it would be best to wash it off before, um… coming back to the village.”

Neytiri hums with a frown, and with one last deft movement of her fingers, the broken tie on your top has been temporarily mended. However her hands linger somewhat strangely, and when she withdraws from you her wrist ends up rubbing a little oddly over the side of your neck. You have no idea what’s going on, and you have no idea how you should be reacting. 

All you can do is swallow thickly, your throat bobbing against the warm skin of Neytiri’s wrist before she pulls away from you.

“It is good that Jake pleased you,” She says simply, turning her head to look casually towards the fire. When you follow her gaze, you see that Jake and Neteyam are returning from the cookfire with their hands full of food. “I worried that he would not.”

That makes you choke out a surprised laugh. “Wow. No faith in his abilities, huh?”

“It is not that,” Neytiri hums, though you can see the corner of her mouth curl in a repressed smile. “He was watching you all evening, getting worked up. I thought he may not be able to last long enough to satisfy you fully.”

That makes you laugh properly, surprised enough that you’re not able to hide your delight at hearing Neytiri roasting Jake. Your conversations with Neytiri alone don’t often poke fun at Jake, and you feel oddly thrilled by it. She offers you a small smirking smile, and you bite at your lip shyly as you return it. 

You’re still stifling laughter when Jake and Neteyam reach you all again; Jake steps over to you and Neytiri as Neteyam carries his food over to the other kids.

“Hey, what’re my girls giggling about?” Jake drawls, sitting heavily next to you on the log. He’s holding several nikt'chey filled with sweet meat and vegetables in one large hand, and a little wooden carved bowl full of teylu in the other.

Neytiri grabs at a plant-based nikt'chey, but instead of eating it she passes it to you. You smile, flattered; teylu is an important food for the Na’vi, but you’ve never enjoyed the texture of the little grub worms. You’ve spent so many years sharing meals with the Sully’s, but it still surprises you when she shows that she’s noticed your preferences.

“I was asking about your performance,” Neytiri says casually, her expression growing coy. “Tawtute believes you could have been better.”

If that pricks at Jake’s pride, he doesn’t show it. He just laughs as though Neytiri has told a very funny joke, before he turns to you. He wraps an arm around your waist and hauls you up into his lap, still clutching his food in the other hand – the motion is so familiar for the both of you that he’s able to situate you across his thighs with ease, even one-handed. 

Jake has been pulling you into his lap at mealtimes for a long time now, and yet this time feels different. His hand lingers around your waist, coasts briefly over your thigh. He’s always been touchy, but this time your brain keeps offering up memories from the night before; his big hot hands touching you, his mouth devouring you, his low voice murmuring insistently in your ear. 

Your face burns, but you’re determined not to show it. You don’t want to be the one to make this weird.

“Now I know that’s a lie,” Jake croons, his breath warm on the back of your ear as he leans towards Neytiri. “You should have heard her cry–”

“Oh my god,” You hiss, whirling in Jake’s lap to slap at his chest hard enough that your hand stings. “I did not cry, you unbearable jackass–”

“It is normal to be overwhelmed by pleasure after so long of…” Neytiri pauses, her brow pinching just slightly as though she’s trying to remember specific phrasing that she’s heard before. “‘Not getting any.’”

Your jaw actually drops. The sound of the human phrase dropping from her lips is jarring, even more so when you know that it’s Jake she heard it from.

“Oh, you guys are the worst.” You grumble, curling into yourself in mortification.

The two of them snicker together as you scowl, and Jake pats your flank as though trying to calm an irritated cat. Neytiri, at least, bites at her lip and tries to hide her amusement.

“No shame in it, honey,” Jake says, and you can hear the stupid grin in his voice. “I’m just very good.”

You roll your eyes so hard that it almost makes you dizzy, and when you glance to the side you see that Neytiri has a similar expression on her face; this time, it’s your turn to laugh with her, with Jake as the subject of your snickering.

“Do not get too confident, ma Jake,” Neytiri croons, leaning in so that she’s resting her body against his side. “You have only pleasured her once, and it cannot have been that good – she has not said much about it.”

Jake makes a sound of pure offense even as he wraps the arm that’s not holding you around Neytiri’s shoulders. “What? Nah, she loved it. C’mon, honey, help me out here.”

Neytiri’s eyes slide to you as she takes a dainty bite of her food, and you can see the conspiratorial little smile that she’s trying to hide. Your own lips start to twitch in response, and you hide your own reaction behind your nikt'chey.

“Oh,” You say lightly, keeping your expression as neutral as possible. “He was okay.”

Instead of wounding his pride, your ribbing just makes him laugh. His arm tightens around your belly, holding you close to his chest as he ruffles Neytiri’s hair – she hisses playfully at him, though he just grins at her.

“Oh, you asshole,” He murmurs into your ear, his chest rumbling against your back as his bulk looms over you, “What, I wasn’t nice enough to you? I wouldn’t have known it from all the whimpering.”

Blood rushes to your face, and you barely suppress the urge to hide your face completely in your hands. You hold the nikt'chey up in front of your masked face in an attempt to hide, mortified when Neytiri chuckles softly.

“Alright,” She says, reaching out to pat at your thigh with her large, slender hand. “Enough. Tawtute is embarrassed.”

Jake just snickers, but mercifully gives up on his playful bantering in favour of taking a large bite of his own nikt'chey. His hand stays firmly planted across your middle, large thumb stroking over your exposed skin there every couple of moments. His touchiness isn’t anything new, but your skin is hot and sensitive and you have to fight back shivers every time he caresses your bare skin. Your stomach is alive with butterflies, shy arousal simmering at a low boil deep in your belly.

You’re antsy, and it’s only made worse by the fact that Neytiri still hasn’t removed her hand from your thigh. It just lingers there as she leans into Jake’s side, as though it’s just perfectly natural and comfortable for her to allow her touch to idle around the exposed skin of your thigh.

You wonder distantly if you’re reading too much into this. Jake has always been touchy, and it’s not that unusual that Neytiri has left her large, soft palm resting against the expanse of your thigh with her fingers curling absently around the sensitive skin of your inner knee. 

Sure, it might feel as though you’re boiling up a little on the inside from the overwhelming contact of their big hands on your exposed body, but you push your reaction down the best you can. Maybe you’re just super conscious now that the nature of your relationship has changed. It seems like you’re the only one that feels that shift though, because Jake and Neytiri are so casual about the way they’re touching you, as though nothing has changed at all.

You’re so busy trying to appear calm and measured and entirely unaffected that you hardly notice when Jake pauses his eating to turn his face towards you with a curious frown. He sniffs at you once, twice, before glancing towards Neytiri and raising an eyebrow with a barely stifled smirk. 

She just blinks back at him innocently, though there’s an unmistakable look of mischief about her eyes – whatever they’re communicating about silently, Jake seems to find it amusing. 

The interaction flies mostly over your head, too distracted with the way Jake’s thigh flexes beneath you when he shifts on the log and the way Neytiri has started to draw absent-minded little patterns around your kneecap. While Jake has always been clingy, Neytiri has always been more reserved in herself. Now, with her touching you like this, you feel absolutely thrown. It’s like someone has turned on a white noise machine in your head; all you can hear is static.

“Sa’nu,” Tuk warbles from a few feet away. “Lo’ak is being mean to me.”

“I am not! Tuk, stop being such a snitch–”

Neytiri’s eyes turn sharp, and she whirls to glare at her children. “What is happening over there?”

Jake rests his chin on your shoulder as he allows his wife to take the lead on dealing with the children. It’s comfortable, and you allow yourself to melt back into his embrace, like usual. Everything feels so normal, as though last night was just a fever dream.

As Neytiri scolds the children, Jake turns his face so that his flat, cat-like nose is nuzzling into your temple. It’s almost like he’s heard your thoughts and wants to brush them away.

“You okay?” Jake murmurs in your ear. “Last night wasn’t too much?”

You laugh a little wheezily. “No, it– no. It was… it was great. I was only joking, before.”

“Yeah, I know.” He snorts, “You’ve never been a good liar, anyway.”

“Fuck off,” You grumble, wriggling on his lap and nudging your elbow back into his stomach. He groans, but you can tell he’s exaggerating the amount of pain he’s in. “Your dick isn’t nearly as big as your head is, you know that?”

Jake lets out a startled, full-belly laugh at that, his head tilting back as his arm tightens around your middle. He seems to find that very amusing, and he’s still snickering when he leans in to press a kiss to your temple under the strap of your mask. 

Your stomach trembles a little, and you can’t help yourself from leaning back into the warmth of his chest – Jake has always expressed his affection physically, satisfying your own desperate skin hunger, but now that you’ve experienced his touch more intimately you find yourself craving more in a way that’s beginning to freak you out a little. You’ve never really thought about Jake like this before, and you can’t help but feel guilty. 

After all, you’re the one who’s looking at him differently now – as far as you’re aware, nothing has changed for Jake. Though he seems very flirty, that’s the way he always is! The only reason he had touched you like that last night was because he wanted to help you out.

Neytiri turns back from the children after giving them one last warning glare, shuffling a little closer and tilting her head so she’s peering down at you. Her hand is still on your knee; it hadn’t shifted an inch even when she had turned to hiss at the children, and now she squeezes at it a little to get your attention. 

“What is funny?” She wonders.

You clear your throat, a little flustered, and mutter, “Your husband is a moron.”

Neytiri’s lips twitch, and she darts an amused look over your head at Jake as his head looms over your shoulder. 

“Yes,” She agrees. “He is a skxawng.”

“Alright, alright,” Jake says hastily, adjusting you on his lap so that you’re pulled right back against his chest, “No ganging up on me, thanks. Besides, I know you both love me.”

Neytiri makes eye contact with you, then gives you a conspiratorial little eye roll. You giggle, impossibly pleased with the sense of camaraderie between the two of you. You even push your knee a little further into her hand, enjoying the contact.

“Will there be more dancing later?” You wonder, turning to look back at Neytiri with a smile. You remember the wondrous dancing from the night before, and find yourself hoping to catch a glimpse of the mating season dancing once more.

Neytiri hesitates, her head tilting to the side like she’s confused. “You are very interested in mating season,” She says slowly. “Even still.” She turns and gives Jake a strange look – one that’s almost chiding.

You’re not sure you know what she means, so you just shrug. “The dancing was pretty. I enjoyed watching it.”

Neytiri hums thoughtfully, her mouth twitching. Her chiding expression turns playful, and she leans in to murmur to you, “We will dance for you later, if you wish to see it.”

You almost do a double take at that, eyes growing wide as you choke on your own saliva in surprise. Behind you, Jake laughs at your reaction, his fingers stroking absently over the soft skin of your belly. It takes a moment for you to register that Neytiri must have been joking, and then you laugh nervously, unsure how to respond.

Jake just snickers, and leans over to nudge at Neytiri’s shoulder. You’re still not used to how beautiful Jake and Neytiri are, how perfectly matched. They ebb and flow against each other, always communicating with just looks or gestures. Jake has always been pure raw passion, while Neytiri is more intimate and reserved about her emotions. They compliment each other so well, something you’ve always admired about them. 

You’ve always thought that you would love to find something like that for yourself, but now it’s like your thoughts have taken a turn. Now it’s like you’re looking at them and wanting them; it feels as though your brain is rotting from the inside out.

The village is bustling full of life, the smell of sweet meat sizzling and the sounds of the People laughing and children squealing filling the air for dinnertime. You force yourself to relax in Jake’s arms, trying to act casual in the face of his and Neytiri’s teasing – fucking your friend was one thing, but now you find yourself utterly flustered at the thought of him and his wife dancing for you, of thinking about where things might go from there.

It’s a mercy when Lo’ak shuffles over, his presence promptly putting an end to any suggestive conversation. You’re almost desperately grateful; you don’t think you’d be able to survive much more of their teasing.

Lo’ak is quiet when he settles next to Jake, a little moody. It seems that he’s come over less because he actually wants to talk to his parents, and more because he’s trying to escape Kiri, who is still teasing him over whatever embarrassing mistake he had made while training.

Undeterred by Lo’ak’s scowl, you lean over and give him a little smile. You’ve always had a soft spot for Lo’ak – you love all the Sully kids, of course, but Lo’ak has always been your secret little favourite. The kid is funny, so like Jake, and so starved for recognition in a way that you recognise from yourself. When you reach out to pat his head, he leans into your touch with a little pout.

“Are they bullying you?” You ask teasingly, brushing his braids back in an attempt to neaten them.

Lo’ak just scowls even fiercer, but he doesn’t move away from your hand. “Kiri’s being an asshole.”

“Hey!” Jake says sharply. “Don’t talk like that about your sister.”

You offer Lo’ak a sympathetic little smile, before leaning over to whisper, “Are you still upset about falling out of that tree?”

Lo’ak’s ears pin back as he winces, clearly embarrassed. “I didn’t fall. I slipped.”

“Ah,” You murmur, fighting a smile. “Of course. Completely different.”

From there, the evening mellows into a familiar, laid-back atmosphere that you’re familiar with. Spending time with the Sullys like this has always been easy, and you find yourself almost deliriously relieved that nothing has changed. You had been so anxious that sleeping with Jake would have totally ruined the dynamic between you and the whole family.

To tell the truth, you’re not quite sure what to make of the fact that it hasn’t.

You sit sprawled across Jake’s lap all evening, with one of Neytiri’s hands settled over your knee. Jake is always pulling you across his large striped thighs, supporting you with a massive arm around your back, but this somehow feels even more intimate than usual; or maybe it’s all in your head.

You try not to think too hard about it. After everyone has finished eating, the children all come to gather around Jake as he tells stories. Both you and Neytiri exchange eyerolls frequently – Jake is predictable, and always chooses the same tales to tell.

“—Your mother tried to kill me when we first met. She thought I was a moron, but I thought she was beautiful.”

Tuk looks absolutely enchanted by the story, despite having heard it a hundred times. Even Kiri, at the peak of her teenage angst, is listening with a little smile on her face. 

Neytiri snorts, but she’s smiling too. “I still think you are a moron, yawntu.”

The kids laugh, and you hide a smile of your own. You feel at home here, with Jake’s family like this. That usual sense of pervasive loneliness that usually haunts you is entirely absent, chased away by Jake and Neytiri’s warm touches. 

“What about um’ma?” Tuk asks, shifting closer with a bright smile on her face as she turns her attention towards you. “Tell us about how you met um’ma, dad!”

You had been getting sleepy, but her question wakes you right up. The kids have always called you um’ma, for as long as you can remember. It’s like an affectionate name for mom, as far as you’re aware. You’ve always sort of assumed that it’s somewhat teasing. You know it’s not entirely unusual for Na’vi children to refer to older female figures in affectionate terms like that – the school children had called Grace sa’nok, a much more formal name.

“Oh, god,” You breathe with a little wince. “No, that’s not–”

But it’s too late. Jake is only delighted to tell that story, too.

“The first time we met, your um’ma walked right past me.” Jake says, launching into his story before you can stop him. “I was trying to catch her attention, and she didn’t even look at me once.”

“I didn’t see you–!” You attempt to protest, but Jake steamrolls ahead.

“I was in my wheelchair, so I was shorter than her–”

“Shorter than um’ma?” Tuk whispers in what sounds like bewilderment, her big eyes swinging towards you as if she wants to double-check your height.

 “–and she didn’t see me when she turned around, so she actually elbowed me in the face when I tried to get closer to her to talk to her. Gave me a bloody nose and everything.”

To your horror, the kids are acting as if they’re already heard this before. Neteyam is nodding along with Jake, and Lo’ak is already snickering. Tuk looks as enchanted with this story as she did with Jake’s story about meeting their mother, starry-eyed as she leans on Kiri. Your stomach flips – how often has Jake told them this story?

“I was trying to impress her, and she didn’t even look at me once.” Jake is still laughing, leaning forward over your shoulder so he can see his kids properly. “So you can imagine how embarrassed I was, after the pretty girl I had been trying to chat up completely ignores me and then nearly breaks my goddamn nose–”

You blink, startled. What? 

Jake has teased you about your first meeting several times over the years, always delighting in the fact that you had been so awkwardly clumsy, but you had never actually heard him recount the full thing from start to finish before. You had certainly never heard it told like that before.

“You were flirting with me?” You blurt out. For a moment you’re worried that you had misinterpreted what he meant and that he might laugh at you, but no such thing happens.

Instead, Jake tips his head back and lets out a groaned little sigh. “Oh, come on. You didn’t even notice?”

Lo’ak looks delighted with this news, and nudges at Neteyam. “Dude! Dad has no game!”

Jake shoots Lo’ak an irritated sort of look, his pride clearly somewhat stung, but his youngest son doesn’t even seem to notice. Lo’ak seems to be too busy reveling in the fact that his father isn’t as smooth as he thought; in fact, he looks far too pleased about this little revelation.

“I have loads of game.” Jake argues, turning to the rest of his family as though seeking backup. Neytiri looks down, visibly hiding a smirk, and says nothing at all. “Your um’ma is just a difficult woman to impress.”

You’re still gawking at him, bewildered by the turn of the conversation. You’ve been friends with Jake for a long time, and he’s always been playfully flirty – that’s just his character. He makes cheeky jokes, he’s touchy, he calls you teasing nicknames, he gives you affectionate little kisses. That’s just Jake! He’s always been like this! And yet right now, he sounds as though he’s being serious about his flirting. 

You look at Neytiri, still a little bewildered, but she has a wry sort of smile on her face as Jake defends himself. And that confuses you even more. Her hand is still on your thigh, her fingers stroking absently over the soft skin there. The caress is sure and unhurried; it’s a kind of patience possessed by predators who are sure of their prey. You’ve never experienced a touch like this from Neytiri before. Your skin is a little too tight, your breaths a little too shallow.

You feel like you’re losing your mind. It’s almost a relief when you’re interrupted, although you hardly even notice Ola’netu’s approaching figure until he’s stopped only a few feet from where you’re all sitting. 

It’s Neytiri that notices him first, as evidenced by the way her hand tightens around your thigh, but you soon feel Jake tense beneath you as well.

“Olo’eyktan,” Ola’netu greets, his head dipping as he greets Jake with the traditional greeting gesture. “I see you.”

Jake’s hands flex at your hips, but he offers Ola’netu a stiffly polite smile all the same. Foregoing any greeting of his own, Jake simply says, “What can I do for you?”

Ola’netu straightens, and his big golden eyes land squarely on you. It’s unnerving to be on the receiving end of his sharp gaze, and you swallow nervously as your cheeks flare red. It’s… a surprisingly bold move on his part, approaching you like this when you’re having dinner with the Sully’s. Jake has always been a little overprotective of you, on account of you being so much smaller and more fragile, and right now his brow is drawing into a scowl that’s honestly intimidating.

“I wish to speak to tawtute.” Ola’netu says. Though his tone is perfectly polite, the fact that he’s not actually looking at Jake is clearly making your friend antsy; he shifts under you, adjusting you on his lap, and holds you tight.

The silence that follows is awkward. You had been so blown away by the exciting strangeness of having messed around with Jake, and then the way that Neytiri had been caressing you, that you had forgotten about Ola’netu entirely.

At your side, Lo’ak straightens up from where he had been slouching lazily. He’s got a little frown on his face, though he’s clearly a little confused, and he looks so much like Jake in that moment that it’s a little bewildering. He leans in a bit closer to you where you’re sitting on Jake’s lap, and all of a sudden it’s like you have two Sully guard dogs with their ears pricked up.

“Yeah,” You say, suddenly awkward. “Right, of course.”

It’s a bit of a struggle to get out of Jake’s lap. Not only do you have his hands holding onto your waist, but Neytiri is holding your thigh and Lo’ak keeps shuffling closer into your space. You actually have to practically worm your way out of their grip, before you stand in front of them all panting with the effort. You scowl a little at Jake, and he purses his lips in that way he does when he’s annoyed about something before he offers you a quick shrug.

Ola’netu leads you a couple of steps away from the family, before stopping just out of earshot and turning to you with a smile. He even bends down so that he’s at eye level with you. The village is bustling full of life, and the sounds of the People laughing and children squealing fill the air. Despite the hive of activity around you, you’re hyper aware of the stares of the entire Sully family burning into your back.

Ola’netu must notice the fact that the two of you are being watched closely, but he gives no indication of it. “I am pleased to see you here. Can I get you food?”

“Oh,” You get a little flustered at his offer, trying hard not to look over your shoulder at the Sullys. “Um… I’ve already eaten.”

Ola’netu glances over your shoulder, presumably looking at Jake, before his eyes fall back to your face. It’s a little difficult to read him; there’s a friendly little smile on his face, but there’s a small furrow in his brow that suggests he’s confused.

“Jakesully watches you closely.” He notes, his tone careful. “He is… always looking.”

“Oh, he’s a little protective.” You laugh nervously. “Don’t mind him.”

Ola’netu’s eyes linger on your face a moment. There’s a beat of silence as nostrils flare; you’ve seen Jake do this often enough to realise that he’s scenting you. It’s an embarrassing thought, made even worse when his brows furrow. 

“Ah.” He says after a moment, his head tilting a little. He looks confused, as though he doesn’t quite know what to make of you. “He has scent-marked you. Neytiri too.”

Your hand flies up to hold your neck. “They what?”

Ola’netu hums, and reaches out to brush his fingers over the spot where Neytiri’s wrist had brushed earlier. Had that been an accident? Surely she would never have done such a thing on purpose.

He’s still watching your face closely. “I do not want to… misunderstand. You always smell of Jakesully but… they have not yet claimed you?”

You nearly do a double take. Claimed you? You don’t even know how to begin unpacking that. You wonder if there’s some sort of cultural nuance that you’re missing here. Your fluency in the Na’vi language is advanced, but even still you sometimes mistranslate or misunderstand things.

“Jake is my best friend.” You say with an awkward smile, hoping that answers his question. 

You think of the way Jake had stuffed your pussy full with his fingers the night before, and the way Neytiri had been so subtly brushing her fingers over your tits earlier that evening, and you wonder how on earth to explain your relationship with them. Not even you fully understand it. They’re your friends, but even you have to admit that it often feels like… more than that. They feel like home in a way that the human outpost never has, and yet you have to admit that the dynamic feels a little different now.

“They look after me.” You continue stupidly. It’s the only way you can think of to explain.

Ola’netu looks thoughtful, but he nods slowly. “I see. But they have not…” 

As Ola’netu trails off, his brow furrows in a contemplative frown. It seems as though he’s thinking about his next words very carefully. 

You dart a quick glance over your shoulder. It’s not much of a surprise to find Jake and Neytiri watching you closely (just like they had the last time Ola’netu had approached you), but it is somewhat of a surprise to see that the kids are all watching you with hawk-like eyes as well. You offer them an awkward, close-mouthed smile to try and ease the tension. The only one who returns it is Tuk, who throws in a cute little wave as well.

Finally, Ola’netu seems to find his words. “They have not yet mated with you, have they? I cannot… I cannot tell from your scent. You smell like Jakesully… but you always smell of him.”

Your mouth flaps open and closed moronically. Oh god. The bold line of questioning leaves you completely flustered. You hadn’t expected him to be so forthright about things, and you’re certainly not prepared to admit that you had let Jake finger you until you were limp and drooling in his arms only the night before.

“I… I don’t- I mean, no, they haven’t mated with me.” You say when you finally gather yourself enough to answer. “They’re- they’re mated with each other!”

That makes Ola’netu crack a smile, as though amused by your reaction. 

“It is not unusual for a mated pair to take on a third. Jake and Neytiri have not discussed this with you?” Ola’netu asks. When you shake your head, his big golden eyes dart over your shoulder towards where Jake and Neytiri are sitting behind you. “I had thought… they act as though…”

Ola’netu doesn’t finish that thought, though you wait for him to. The resulting silence is a little awkward, but then Ola’netu creeps forward a little. He doesn’t reach for you, though it looks as though he’s thinking about it.

You shift on your feet a little awkwardly, and scratch at your elbow. Now that you’re actually in front of Ola’netu, you feel incredibly awkward. You’ve been looking at the Na’vi in a rather hungry way for a while now, and yet now that you’re faced with a male who actually seems interested in you, all you can think about is the way Jake had touched you the night before.

It’s like the floodgates have opened inside your brain. You’ve been around Jake and Neytiri for years now, and yet now you feel shivery and bubbly with simmering arousal after experiencing their attention all evening. You wonder if there’s something wrong with you. 

This is your best friend and his wife! You feel like a weirdo for thinking about them like that. 

“You are interested in Na’vi?” Ola’netu’s tail lashes behind him as he watches you. 

You swallow thickly. Oh, you feel totally out of your depth now. You can feel the eyes of the Sullys boring into you as you speak with Ola’netu; you’re just grateful they can’t hear what you’re saying, because you don’t think you’d be able to live the embarrassment down.

“Um… Yeah.” You say faintly.

 Your brain decides unhelpfully to offer up memories of Jake’s big hands and pretty blue skin from the night before, and the ridiculous size of his dick. Jake may have only touched you like that so that you could experience being with a Na’vi for the first time, but you think he may also have unintentionally ruined you for anyone else. Your mind just keeps replaying the encounter in your head like it’s a damn slideshow.

“But… you do not accept Jakesully and Neytiri?” Ola’netu speaks slowly, as though approaching a sensitive topic.

All you can do is blink, wondering if you’re misunderstanding what he’s asking you. It sounds as though he thinks that you’re the one making the final decision here, as though you’re the one with the power. The thought is comical.

“I’m not sure I…” You trail off, bewildered. “What do you mean ‘accept’ them?” 

“As mates. They seem to be waiting for your decision.” Ola’netu murmurs, his eyes darting back over your shoulder towards when Jake and Neytiri are no doubt still watching. “But you must be a difficult creature to impress.”

That’s so similar to what Jake had said earlier that you find yourself floundering. That couldn’t have been what Jake had meant though, surely? You feel as though you’ve been struck dumb – the connotations of what Ola’netu is suggesting is almost more than you can handle, and yet he keeps on talking before you can actually wrap your head around it.

“Perhaps it is that you are not ready to take on a mate?” Ola’netu says, his big golden eyes peering into your face. It seems as though he’s having difficulty assessing your thoughts thanks to your alien human features. “I, too, am not ready for a mate. But if it is exploring you are interested in–”

You’re hardly listening to a word he says. You think back rather frantically to every reaction you’ve had with Jake and Neytiri for the past several years. It’s true that you’ve always been close, probably closer than any other relationship you’ve ever had in your life. 

You spend almost all of your time with them when you’re not at the human outpost, you sleep in their bed when you stay over with them, their children call you um’ma. And that’s not to mention the tactile nature of your relationship with Jake. But that’s how Jake has always been, even when he was human!

Okay… maybe you can see where Ola’netu’s coming from with his assumptions. 

“Wait,” You choke out, interrupting whatever the hell Ola’netu had been saying. “Hang on, are you… are you saying that everyone thinks that I’m– that Jake and Neytiri are–” You can’t even figure out how to put your thoughts into words. You end up just standing there, gawping at Ola’netu like an idiot as your brain tries to sort all of this out.

Ola’netu frowns, tilting his head in honest confusion. “I had thought that you were mated for many years. But maybe they are just courting you?”

You positively goggle at him, struck dumb. You don’t think you could form a reply even if you wanted to. 

It should be a ridiculous notion. Jake has been your friend for years! Sure, you might be closer than most friends, but that’s just how you two have always been. And Neytiri has become your friend too, treating you like family and even welcoming you into her and Jake’s bed whenever you happen to stay the night. If Ola’netu had told you this a week ago, you might have even laughed at his questions. But now, after your experimentation with Jake and all of his and Neytiri’s suggestive touches and comments today, you find yourself baffled. 

You never get the chance to respond. Footsteps sound from behind you, and Ola’netu’s eyes flicker above your head as a warm body presses close to your back. You glance over your shoulder, expecting to see Jake – you’re surprised to find that it’s Neytiri who’s standing at your back, watching Ola’netu with sharp eyes.

“Come,” Neytiri murmurs to you, but her eyes remain fixed on Ola’netu. “You have not finished eating.”

You hesitate for a moment, staring up at her. You wonder if you’re losing your mind – Neytiri is so beautiful, her features sharp and bold and her golden eyes intense as she stares down Ola’netu. There’s an awkward silence, but then you start to nod.

“I’ll, um… see you later.” You say to Ola’netu, but your heart’s not in it. You’re distracted, sending uncertain glances up at Neytiri. Ola’netu nods and raises a hand to wave, but you’re already stepping after Neytiri as she leads you back towards the family with a large slender hand pressed between your shoulderblades.

Jake is sitting on the log where you left him, but he’s leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees as he watches you return with Neytiri. He’s frowning, his ears twitching; he looks strangely alert, although some of the stiffness in his shoulders eases as you and Neytiri join him again. The kids are all gathered nearby, and you can see them exchanging looks with each other in a little silent conversation.

You feel embarrassed that they all just witnessed you chatting with Ola’netu, but you try to shake it off. You’ve got nothing to be embarrassed about, after all, and it’s not like they heard you.

“What was that all about, sweetheart?” Jake asks when you get close enough, already reaching out to try and pull you into his lap.

But for the first time, possibly ever, you resist. You pull your arm back, refusing to go, and Jake blinks at you in bewilderment. You feel sort of guilty, but your head is spinning so fast that you feel dizzy – you need space, and time to think and sort out all of these bizarre thoughts and revelations.

“I’m… I’m going to head to bed, I think.” You blurt, taking a step back. 

Hurt flashes across Jake’s face, and he sits up straighter. In all your years of knowing each other, you’ve never pushed Jake away like this.

“You are not staying with us tonight?” Neytiri asks with a discontented frown. She sits down next to Jake on the log, and you think you see her nudge him hard in the side.

You shake your head, swallowing thickly. Normally, you’d be only too delighted to spend the night, but everything has happened so fast and you need time to think.

“No, I’ll just… I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” You murmur, forcing a smile as you step back. 

Your expression can’t be very convincing, because the kids exchange another look before turning to look at their parents. Lo’ak stands, looking between his parents before turning to look at you.

“I’ll walk you back, um’ma–” He starts to say, but he’s cut off when Neytiri grabs his shoulder and pulls him back down.

Jake stands instead, and rests his hand on your shoulder. “I’ll walk you back.” He says, squeezing lightly.

You can’t bring yourself to refuse the offer — the forests of Pandora are deadly for a human alone, and you can’t afford to go without an escort. You bite your lip, before nodding jerkily. This is fine. Jake is just looking out for you as a friend, like he always is. You’re the one that’s acting weird! You need to pull yourself together.

The walk home is awkwardly silent. You’re lost in your thoughts, replaying every interaction you’ve had this evening and picking them apart obsessively in your head. Meanwhile, Jake ambles along at your side, matching your pace perfectly. He’s equally as quiet, but he keeps darting looks at you out of the corner of his eyes. Jake is many things, but he’s never been subtle.

By the time you reach the outpost, hardly a word has been shared between the two of you. Jake has started tapping his fingers against his thigh, and the frequency of his glances have increased yet again. He clears his throat, and finally speaks up.

“So, uh… did you enjoy dinner, honey?” He asks. The levity in his voice is rather forced, and it contrasts with the little frown creasing his forehead.

You hum, but you’re distracted. “Mm, sure. It was fine.”

Jake bites at his lip for a second, obviously thinking. His nose twitches, nostrils flaring. He leans a little closer, and you can see his pretty golden eyes dart to your neck.

“Did he touch you there?” Jaks asks. A scowl creases his brow as he reaches out to brush his fingers over your throat, right where Ola’netu had touched where Neytiri had scented.

You jerk back, and then it’s like the floodgates open. You’re unable to keep your thoughts to yourself any longer.

“What the fuck is going on, Jake?” You blurt, eyes wide and bewildered as you take a step back. “I don’t– I’m so confused. Last night was– but then today! You were so– and then Neytiri as well! I don’t understand, and then Ola’netu said– but I don’t get it–”

Jake’s expression drops, all pretence at cheerfulness abandoned. He takes a knee instantly to put himself down at your level, his eyes wide and a little panicked.

“Whoa, whoa, slow down, sweetheart. What’s the problem? Deep breath.” He says, his voice low and soothing as he tries to shush you. He reaches out and puts his hands on your shoulders, his thumbs stroking delicately over your skin.

You push his hands away, still reeling. “Ola’netu thought we were mates. As in, you, Neytiri, and me.”

You wait for a moment, and allow that to sink in. You’re not entirely certain what you’re expecting his reaction to be; will he laugh at that ridiculous notion? Will he be horrified? Disgusted? 

But instead, Jake’s face wobbles, as though he can’t hide his expression fast enough.

“He… and yet he was trying to put moves on you anyway?” He says, his nose scrunching in distaste as his fangs glint in the moonlight.

You gape at him. Jake misses the point so damn often it’s like he does it on purpose, but the fact that he doesn’t see that you’re being serious about this infuriates you.

“Jake!” You hiss, fists clenching at your side. “You’re not even listening–!”

“I’m listening, I’m listening–” Jake throws his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

“You said that you’d help me– or, or that you’d help me experience Na’vi… um, bodies, and it was… it was really good, but– I thought that– I don’t know, I just– you said that you were going to guide me through it before I went messing around with other Na’vi–”

Jake’s ears have folded back against the side of his head, and he listens to you with a frown. “I didn’t think you’d actually want to mess around with other Na’vi after I took care of you–”

“Oh what, you think your dick is just that good?” You fold your arms across your chest immediately, scowling. 

Jake pauses for a moment, and you see his mouth begin to twitch into a smile. Your temper flares, and you glare furiously at him.

“Don’t you dare.” You warn, already knowing that he has some smart remark planned.

Jake breathes a soft laugh, but then hastily wipes his expression clean when he catches sight of the glint in your eye. He sighs, and reaches up to scratch the back of his neck. He looks a little ridiculous kneeling in the dirt and bending over so that he’s on your level, his expression open and conciliatory.

“Honey, I don’t understand what’s wrong–”

“Stop calling me honey!”

Jake gapes at you. You’ve never shouted at him like that; in all the years you’ve known each other, you’ve never gotten so mad at him that you’d yell, and you’ve never once told him to not call you by his cutesy nicknames. For the first time, Jake seems to actually realise that you’re in turmoil over here.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” He says, and his voice has lost all trace of levity and humour. His expression is serious now, as though he’s dedicating his full attention to solving this problem.

You groan, reaching up to scrub at your face. You can barely even sort through your own thoughts in your head, you have no idea how to effectively go about communicating your feelings here. Throwing delicacy to the wind, you take a deep breath.

“I think I have a crush on you!” You yell close to hysterics. “And it’s ruining my life! I mean, fuck! I’m ruining everything just cause I can’t control myself–”

Jake’s ears twitch and his tail lashes wildly, as though he momentarily loses control of his extremities. His eyes go big and round, and you wonder if this is it – have you fucked everything up? 

You had such a good thing going with the Sully family, and the thought of you ruining it just because you got flustered over Jake and Neytiri touching you in a way that was probably meant to be friendly anyway makes you feel ill.

“Baby, come on. We’re practically married anyway, a crush is a good thing.” Jake says, reaching out to take a hold of your elbows. He shuffles closer on his knees, his back bowing as he ducks down to look you in the face. 

His expression is open and earnest, and there’s a faint trace of urgency in his eyes as he watches your reaction, and yet you find yourself rearing back and searching his face desperately for any hint of a lie.

“What do you–” You start to say uncertainly, but Jake keeps going before you can finish.

“The kids call you um’ma, you sleep in our bed, you do everything with us. You’re– I mean, we’re crazy for you. Can’t you see that?” Jake’s forehead is all creased up as he tries to keep your attention on him. “We’ve– we’ve been together for years–”

“What?” You blurt, bewildered. “We– no. We’ve been friends. You called me your best friend last night even when you had your goddamn face between my legs–”

“We always call each other that! It’s like… it’s like a bit or something–” He looks helplessly confused. “When you talked about Ola’netu I thought you were just curious, or that you just wanted to experiment or something–”

“Why would you not tell me!” You shriek, throwing your hands up in the air. You feel like an absolute madwoman, and Jake is regarding you like you’re something fragile about to shatter. “Oh my god– so, you and Neytiri have been married for years, and the whole time everyone has thought that I’m just some sad loser that follows the two of you everywhere–”

“No!” Jake says, and now he’s raising his voice too. “No, that’s not what I meant! I meant that you’ve been part of our family this whole time. You must have known that–”

Oh god, you’re getting overwhelmed. Confused and embarrassed tears begin pricking at your eyes, and Jake’s entire face drops when he realises that you’re about to cry.

“How would I have known that, Jake?!” You’re shouting loud enough that you’re certain the scientists inside the outpost can hear you, but mercifully no one comes to check what’s going on. “You’ve never said anything! The only time you’ve ever touched me in a way that suggests we’re more than friends is last night–!”

“It never occurred to me to say anything!” He’s clearly fighting not to raise his voice, trying to keep calm and composed. “I didn’t realise that you didn’t– baby, I have plenty of friends. How many of them spend the night in our bed, or sit on my lap? How many of them do I kiss–”

“I don’t know! You’re a friendly guy!” You yell back, painfully aware of how stupid you sound right now. “But– it doesn’t matter how touchy you were, you never actually did anything! And yet now you expect me to believe that you really wanted me all this time–”

“I didn’t think you were interested!” Jake bursts out. “You never talked about sex, not until last night! I’ve been hinting for years, I just thought that you weren’t into sex or intimacy that way– which is fine by the way, me and Neytiri never minded that, you know that we’d take you anyway we could have you–”

“I’m only human, Jake! I have– I have needs!” Your cheeks are absolutely burning, but you manage to hold eye contact with him. “I mean, you never said anything! So I’ve been sitting lonely in the human outpost while you and Neytiri have been having babies–”

“You–” Jake’s ears flick desperately, “You want a baby?”

“NO!” You yell, flustered and frustrated.

“What?” Jake breathes to himself so quietly that you nearly miss it. He shakes his head quickly, as though trying to clear his head. “Okay, okay, I screwed up, obviously. I should have been more upfront, I should have talked things through with you, I shouldn’t have just assumed we were all on the same page, I get that. But honey, you’ve always been a huge part of our family, we’ve been bringing you gifts of jewelry and clothes and food for years–”

Fuck, you feel so mixed up and confused. You run your hands frustratedly over your face, already shaking your head. Jake is getting steadily more frantic as he talks, clearly seeing that you’re beginning to withdraw. 

He tries to take your hand but you step back, chewing at your lip.

“Stop. Jake, stop for a minute.” You groan, turning away from him so that you can breathe for a moment. Your breath rasps through your mask, and abruptly you feel incredibly claustrophobic. 

You can’t wrap your head around any of this. Truthfully, you had been perfectly content with your life on Pandora up until a few weeks ago. Jake had satisfied your skin hunger with his caresses and cuddles, Neytiri had always made you feel welcomed around the village by providing you with pretty Omaticaya style clothes and jewelry, and you’ve always been so close to the children that you never craved any of your own. The fact that you had gone so long without any sexual intimacy is surely a testament to how happy you were with the way things were, and yet now you find your head spinning. 

Does this mean that you could have had more this whole time? That all those months of craving sexual intimacy, of your growing interest in Na’vi biology, was entirely useless because you had two enormous sexy Na’vi who loved and cared for you very much just sitting right there the whole time thinking that you weren’t interested in sex? What the fuck?

“I can’t do this right now.” You whisper. You’re breathing heavily, as though all of your overthinking is taking an actual physical toll on you. “I have to– I can’t. I have to go.”

Jake’s expression drops entirely, and he pushes himself to stand, already reaching out after you. “Hang on, please. Look, kid, why don’t you just come back home, huh? We can talk things out properly, all three of us–”

You shake your head as you step backwards towards the outpost door. You probably should talk this out, but you just can’t right now. You need to get this mask off, and you need time to think to yourself about all of this and what it means for your relationships going forward.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jake.” You whisper.

You don’t let yourself listen to the way he calls your name as you escape into the outpost; you already know that if you see the look on his face, you’ll crumble.

The heavy door swings shut behind you, the hiss of the hydraulics drowning out the last of Jake’s pleas. You’re finally alone for the evening, but for a very long moment you can’t move at all. You just stay leaning against the heavy door as the oxygenation chamber begins to work, finally allowing you to tear your mask off and toss it to the floor. 

You take deep, heavy breaths, before hiding your head in your hands. You can’t help but feel as though you’ve handled that rather poorly.

For the next several days, you don’t leave the outpost once. Ostensibly, you’re helping Norm with his research. In reality, you’re likely just getting underfoot and annoying all the other scientists that are actually trying to do work.

It’s cowardly and immature, but you just don’t think you can face Jake or Neytiri right now. You can’t stop thinking of the looks and whispers that the two of them had exchanged when you had talked about possibly being interested in Na’vi men and mating. You’re so damn embarrassed, and you feel like a total idiot.

And yet at the same time, you feel so prickly and irritated. After so many years of friendship, how ridiculous is it that they didn’t speak to you about this? Your irritation bleeds over into your mood as you sit around the base, and soon enough everyone else in the outpost starts to avoid you as best they can.

Three days may not seem like an extraordinarily long time to avoid your friends, but it’s the longest you’ve gone without seeing them in… well, possibly ever.

Jake knows you well enough to know that you need space to think things over, which probably accounts for the fact that he hasn’t yet shown up to bust your door down. But while Jake may be giving you space, no one seems to have given that memo to Lo’ak.

“Whatever dad did, I’m sure he’s sorry.” Lo’ak blurts on the afternoon of your third day of self-imposed exile.

The two of you are sprawled out on one of the couches in the meagre corner that Max has attempted to turn into a recreation area – the couch Lo’ak is laying across was originally designed for Avatar bodies, and he spends enough time in the outpost that he looks perfectly at home here with a CO2 respirator hanging around his neck for him to sip at the air.

You sigh, avoiding his eyes. You know you’re not meant to have favourites among the children, but you’ve always had a mushy little soft spot for Lo’ak. He’s always so hungry for recognition and validation, and yet he can be so damn sweet. It’s no surprise that he’s the one that’s skipping his duties in the clan just to hang out with you at the outpost because he’s worried about you.

“Your dad didn’t do anything, Lo’ak.” You murmur, though you’re still having a hard time looking at him.

Lo’ak’s brow puckers. “... Mom, then?”

“No!” You say quickly, before taking a deep breath and continuing in a calmer tone of voice. “No, it’s not– look, it’s just… sometimes, grown-ups just need some time apart to think, that’s all.”

Lo’ak is quiet for a moment. He’s staring down into his lap, his brow drawn together moodily as he fidgets with his thumbs. He’s obviously thinking hard, lost in his thoughts, though you couldn’t begin to guess what it is he’s thinking about.

Lo’ak is more like his mother than anyone gives him credit for; just like Neytiri, he does a poor job keeping his thoughts and feelings to himself for too long.

“Spider said that Norm told him about a human thing called divorce.” He bursts out, finally raising his head to look at you. For the first time, you see the glimmer of panic in his eyes. “Are you– you’re not doing that, right?”

You rear back, struggling to hide your shock from him. Oh god, now the guilt is starting to set in. In all your panic and embarrassment, you hadn’t really considered what the kids must have thought about all this. 

Lo’ak’s ears are pressed flat against the side of his head and his tail is coiled tightly against his body, giving you an insight into how vulnerable he’s feeling right now.

“Oh, no, kiddo!” You blurt, sitting up on the couch and leaning over to place a hand on your shoulder. “It’s not… It’s not like that.”

Lo’ak’s eyes are suspiciously glassy, and he immediately shuffles over to hide his face in your shoulder. The hug is a little awkward; he’s not nearly as small as he used to be as a small child, but he’s still trying his best to curl his much larger body into your chest. It’s like cuddling a golden retriever that doesn’t realise how large it is.

“Mom and dad have been arguing since you left.” He mumbles into your shoulder. “Whatever they did to make you mad, they’re sorry about it.”

Your heart aches, and you close your eyes and sigh as you kiss his forehead. Damn, now you really feel like an asshole. You never expected this to impact Jake and Neytiri’s relationship at home, and to hear that they’re actually in conflict comes as a surprise to you. They’re usually a united front, so to hear that there’s cracks in that front because of you is somewhat jarring.

“... What are they arguing about?” You murmur, feeling a little guilty for prying.

Lo’ak shrugs, as though the way his parents think is utterly mystifying to his brain. “Mom thinks dad fucked up somehow, I dunno.”

He darts a quick look up at your face as though trying to check whether he’s going to get scolded for cursing, but you hardly notice. You’re too busy thinking. You can’t help but wonder exactly how Jake had recounted your little conversation to Neytiri, and you feel your cheeks burn at the thought of what she must have had to say about it. They probably both think you’re a total moron.

You sigh through your nose and pet Lo’ak’s braids absently. He seems happy to burrow close as you think, relaxing into your arms as though he’s not comically large for a fourteen year old. 

Truthfully, you wonder if you’re overthinking this. Because if you’re being honest with yourself, the thought that Jake and Neytiri think of you romantically sends a thrill of excitement so pure running through you that it feels as though it’s going to knock you off your feet. 

You’ve spent so long moping about being alone that you didn’t even realise that you have two big sexy Na’vi sitting there interested in you but thinking that you weren’t interested in sex? Fuck, how could you have misassessed the situation like that?

“Hey, um’ma?” Lo’ak mumbles, his voice all muffled by your shirt.

“Yeah?”

There’s a pause. Then Lo’ak says, “Ola’netu’s a loser.”

“Lo’ak!” You scold, swatting at his head. 

“It’s true!” Lo’ak complains. Your light smack to his head is so inconsequential that he doesn’t even bother moving his head out of the way, choosing instead to shuffle even closer until he’s practically crushing you.

“It’s rude to call people losers.” You sigh.

Lo’ak just grumbles. “Not when they’re trying to steal one of your moms.”

“That’s not–” You start, before falling silent. Na’vi mating practices and culture still throws you for a loop sometimes, but to hear Lo’ak say that he considers you a mom leaves you feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. You had known he viewed you as some kind of role model figure based on how he used to follow along behind your ankles as a young child, but to hear him come out and say it is something entirely different.

“Aw.” You whisper, unable to help it as you wrap your arms around his shoulders and hug him tight. “You’re so sweet, aren’tcha?”

Despite the fact that Lo’ak was literally just burrowing his way into your side, he starts rolling his eyes and leaning away. “Um’ma, quit it!”

You’re still laughing when you hear the sound of a door opening somewhere behind you, and you don’t even bother looking around. It’s Lo’ak who looks over your shoulder instead, and his face goes slack in surprise as his mouth drops open.

“Mom!” Lo’ak says, pushing himself up onto his knees on the couch so he can stare wide-eyed behind you.

You whip around at that, and feel your heart actually skip a beat at the sight of Neytiri picking her way through the narrow walkway of the outpost. You’re certain that your own expression matches Lo’ak’s surprised bewilderment perfectly. 

Neytiri has never visited the human outpost before; she mostly tolerates the presence of the humans living beyond the boundary of the Omaticaya village, and is understandably wary of most of them. The sight of her walking towards you as she fiddles with the respirator around her neck is surreal.

Your stomach trembles at the sight of her. You’re not sure you’re ready to have this conversation with her, but you already know there’s no escape. If there’s anyone that can match Jake in pure hard-headed stubbornness, it’s Neytiri.

“Lo’ak,” Neytiri murmurs as she approaches. “Go home. Your father wants you to go foraging with Kiri.”

Lo’ak groans loudly, and Neytiri shoots him a look so sharp that it practically cuts. He gets the message almost immediately, and obviously decides it’s in his best interest not to argue any further. He stands up off the couch and skulks off, though he glances over his shoulder at you before he rounds the corner.

“See you at dinner, um’ma?” He calls, his eyes gone soft and hopeful.

You hesitate, glancing nervously at Neytiri. “Uh… I’m not sure.” You say non-committedly, smiling weakly. 

Lo’ak frowns, stopping dead-still as his ears pin back. “Um’ma, please.”

Ah fuck, you never could deny that kid anything. You sigh, reaching up to rub at the space between your eyes. “Right. Yeah, okay. See you later, Lo’ak.”

As soon as Lo’ak disappears around the corner, Neytiri steps towards you. Flustered, you stand up to meet her as she stops just short of the couch. She’s watching you closely, her honey-coloured eyes tracking over every inch of you. 

You’re so thrown by the fact that she’s actually here, in front of you, in the human outpost, that you barely even know what to say to her. 

“Um… hey.” You say stupidly.

Thankfully, Neytiri decides to ignore your weak little greeting. 

“I wish to talk, tawtute.” Her voice is soft, as though she’s trying not to scare you away.

Right. Of course she does. Your eyes dart around the little rec area, all shifty. Towards the back of the open space of the outpost, you can see some of the scientists sending you curious looks. You can’t really blame them; while the Sully kids are regular visitors around here, the sight of Neytiri must be rather startling.

“We can talk in my room.” You mutter, stepping back and hurriedly leading the way towards privacy.

Neytiri follows along silently, though her attention is mostly taken up with looking around the building curiously. You usher her into your room quickly, your heart rate already picking up nervously.

It’s more than a little unnerving to watch Neytiri’s tall, willowy figure stepping into your cramped, windowless room. She looks so out of place amongst the clutter of your stuff, and yet she steps forward and sinks down to perch herself on the edge of your bed as though she belongs there.

You barely manage to stifle a squeak at the sight of her sitting right where Jake had sat only a few nights earlier, right before he had fingered you within an inch of your life. She’s watching you as though she knows what you’re thinking, and you feel your face grow warm under her regard.

“Jake said that you needed space,” She murmurs, breaking the expectant silence that had settled over the two of you. “And I trust him with many things. But he has already made a mess of this, hasn’t he?”

You swallow thickly, fidgeting with your fingers. You can’t help but feel guilty; it was you that had made a mess of this by hiding yourself away like this and refusing to face them after your obvious misunderstanding. 

“I’m sorry.” You say stiffly. “I didn’t mean to… well. I just needed time to think.”

Neytiri hums, though she doesn’t appear too convinced. “Jake tells me that you did not realise how we valued you as a mate.”

She says it as though she thinks it’s ridiculous, which certainly doesn’t help things. She leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she watches you. Her delicate little chest covering sways forward, and it takes everything in you not to stare at her tits.

“Why would you wish to mate with someone you cannot connect with?” You ask, your voice quiet. 

It’s probably not fair to throw Neytiri’s own words back at her from the conversation you had had about Ola’netu on the first night of mating season, but you get a twisted sense of satisfaction from the way her expression cracks into surprise. She looks taken aback, her ears flattening. 

“That was not what I meant.” She protests, her brow creasing into a frown.

“You were asking me to find “release” with the other humans!” You burst out. It might not be fair to get frustrated at her like this, but all of these thoughts have been brewing since your little argument with Jake and you finally get the chance to express them.

Neytiri’s tail lashes, revealing her own restlessness. 

“You never approached us for…” She trails off, then takes a breath. “I assumed that you were seeking pleasure from your kind. It is like I said; sex is a way for bonding in mated pairs as well as outside of them.”

You blink at her, bewildered. You had thought that she was just making a sweeping statement about Na’vi sexuality. It hadn’t occurred to you that she had been telling you this because she was including you in the mated subsection of the population.

“Jake thought that you were not interested in sexual intimacy at all, because you never mentioned anything to him.” Neytiri says. “But I had thought that you just preferred intimacy with your own kind. And that would be fine, tawtute. There is much diversity among Na’vi mating bonds, and there is almost no mating bonds between Na’vi and Sky People. We are learning as we go.”

She’s doing the same thing that Jake had done; keeping her voice carefully low as though trying not to upset you. You’re a little torn; you can’t decide whether it’s sweet or aggravating that they treat you like you’re something delicate that needs to be protected. You decide to settle on aggravated, even as she keeps talking.

“There are other forms of intimacy; sitting in laps, grooming, cooking for each other, sleeping in shared spaces, spending quality time together. We do all of this, syulang.”

“If you aren’t interested in having sex with me, just say that.” You say, crossing your arms defensively over your chest. You know that you sound like a little brat right now, but you can’t help it. “You don’t have to come up with all these different excuses.”

Neytiri’s eyes widen, her hairless brows raising.

“We did not think we were–” Neytiri struggles for a moment to find the right word. “Compatible. Sexually. We are too big, tawtute, we could have hurt you.”

“But you never even tried.” You say stubbornly, a frown creeping onto your face. “Jake wasn’t too big when he fingered me the other night.”

You might be stretching the truth a little there, because Jake has fat-ass fingers that had stretched you until you had been an actual sobbing mess, but you’re trying to make a point here.

Neytiri reaches up and presses her fingers against her mouth, and it takes you a moment to realise that she’s trying hard not to laugh. 

“If you wanted to be touched, all you had to do was ask.” She murmurs, before reaching her other hand out towards you.

You hesitate for a moment. You’re not sure if you’re ready to let go of your annoyance so easily, but you step towards Neytiri all the same. Her tail is twitching, a clear sign of her anticipation. As soon as you get within arm’s reach, she takes you by the arms and pulls you right up into her lap.

You squeak, flustered at the sudden movement. It’s not like it’s strange for you to be hauled into a Na’vi’s lap, but it’s never been Neytiri’s lap before. You grab onto her shoulders without thinking to try and steady yourself, and out of the corner of your eye you see a pleased smile playing about her lips.

“What did you think of Jake?” She asks, her voice low. Her long, slender hands wrap around your hips to keep you in place across her thighs.

“Um…” Your brain has stalled a bit, completely distracted by the way your own thighs are spread wide so that you’re straddling her hips. 

Neytiri’s tiny little smile is knowing, as if she knows that your cunt is growing wet and hot just from the feeling of your thighs being stretched wide over hers. Even more distracting is the way her long fingers are tracing over the exposed skin of your thighs where your dress has ridden up over your hips. 

“You wanted to experience Na’vi bodies, hm?” She murmurs, her fingers pushing higher as she traces little circles over your hips. “What did you think of Jake’s?”

“It was– he was… great.” You sound like an absolute idiot, and you feel like one as well. It’s like your brain is actually grinding to a halt, as though every ounce of your awareness is narrowing down to the points of contact between you and Neytiri. 

Neytiri hums, her eyes dropping down over your own body and lingering. She’s clearly curious about your cotton dress – you almost exclusively wear your Omaticayan style beaded top and loincloth when you’re in the village, and Neytiri hasn’t actually seen you wearing your own human clothes in years. She tugs at the back of it with a tiny frown.

“Good.” She murmurs, her fingers tangling in the soft fabric of your dress. “But just as you were unfamiliar with Na’vi bodies, I have never experienced the body of a Sky Person.”

You take a sharp breath. You’ve clearly been painfully oblivious of any signals that Jake and Neytiri may have been sending you over the years, and you’re not prepared to miss out on anything else just because you’re not willing to take a risk.

“D’you want to?” You ask in a whisper. It comes out more breathless that you had intended, your excitement causing your lungs to squeeze tight.

Neytiri’s smile widens, the delicate skin around her eyes creasing right before she leans in and presses a full-mouthed kiss to your mouth. 

It’s messier and more heated than you had expected from her, and you moan without meaning to when her sharp canines tug at your lower lip. Neytiri kisses like she's got something to prove — her mouth is firm and unyielding against yours, and her teeth nip lightly at your lips in a way that sends a shiver rippling down your spine. 

As you gasp into her mouth, her hands grip at your waist and haul you closer to her until your chests are pressed tight together, your thighs spread wide around her hips as she pulls you tight to her.

You whimper against her, unable to help yourself, and then to your immense disappointment she pulls back. Her mouth is wet and swollen, but she looks so pretty when she grins at you. When she tugs at your dress again, you pick up on her unspoken request and immediately begin tugging your dress over your head.

You’re left in just your bra and panties, but you’re not given a moment to feel self-conscious. Neytiri���s big golden eyes are taking you in hungrily, but despite that hunger there’s also a gleam of curiosity in her eyes. When you unclasp your bra and let it fall to the side, her eyes land on your breasts as though you’ve just unwrapped a gift for her.

She reaches for your tits immediately, and her big hands practically swallow them whole. You’re reminded of the way she had brushed her hands against your tits when she had fixed your top in a way that was almost casual, but in hindsight was unmistakably erotic.

“Ah,” Neytiri murmurs, sounding almost surprised as her hands close around your tits. “They are softer than I expected.”

“Are they?” You breathe a little dazedly. 

She hums, and you bite back another squeak when she reaches up and pulls off her pretty chest covering. You’ve seen Neytiri’s breasts before, of course; the Na’vi are not modest about their bodies, and those beaded tops the women wear are mostly just for accessory. 

But seeing is different to touching, and your breath catches when she takes your wrist and guides your hand to one of her tits.

Neytiri’s breasts are small, in proportion to the rest of her tall svelte body, but they’re firmer than you had expected. It shouldn’t be too much of a surprise, you suppose – the muscle structure of the Na’vi is insane, and there’s almost zero softness to them. Neytiri’s breasts are probably the most pliable part of her whole body, but even still the flesh doesn’t yield as much as you might have expected. You can certainly understand why Neytiri is so fascinated by the cushiony softness of your own chest.

Neytiri lets out a small, pleased sound when your thumb rolls over her nipple, and she lifts her CO2 respirator to take a quick sip of air before dropping it and clasping your jaw with one hand. She pulls you into another kiss, and you sigh happily as her tongue slides against yours. The size difference means that the kiss is a little awkward, but her enthusiasm makes up for that.

It feels like the world is spinning, and you let out a soft noise of surprise when her teeth sink into your lower lip. It’s not hard enough to hurt, but the sensation has you shivering in her lap. You almost whine when she breaks away from you, but she just starts to trail kisses down your neck and across your chest.

“Oh, fuck.” You breathe, your whole body jolting when she bites at the curve of your breast. It stings, and you look down at yourself to find a reddened bite mark at the top of your tit, right where it starts to swell.

“So soft and pretty, syulang.” Neytiri mumbles, sucking a bruise on the top of your other tit. 

She’s the oddest mix of rough and gentle with you; she’s obviously very conscious of how much bigger and stronger she is, because she’s holding you like you’re made of glass. But even as she strokes her thumbs over your hipbones, her hot, hungry mouth nips and kisses at your sensitive skin and leaves purpling bruises behind. 

When her mouth actually closes around your nipple, you let out an absolutely mortifying sound of confusion mixed with arousal. She can fit so much of your breast in her mouth that when she actually suckles on it, your eyes practically roll back at the stimulation.

“God,” You whimper, your hips twitching against her lap. The lace of your panties drags over the soft buttery fabric of her loincloth, and the friction against your clit leaves you shivery. “Neytiri, will you please– can you–?”

Neytiri hums, reluctantly releasing your tit from the wet heat of her mouth. You shiver as the cool air of the room hits the spit-slick skin of your breasts, but Neytiri quickly places her hand over the spot she had been sucking, warming your skin as she squeezes lightly.

“So eager, tawtute.” She coos, smiling at you like she thinks that you’re just adorable. She reaches her much larger hand into your panties, her long slender fingers sliding through the slick folds of your pussy with ease.

You groan like you’ve just been punched, and drop your head down against her shoulder. Her thumb rolls over your clit and your hips jump, grinding in her lap. She chuckles at your reaction, and watches your face closely as she presses one of her fingers inside of you. While a single one of her fingers is much larger than yours, it’s still smaller than Jake’s and you find yourself wanting more.

“Another one.” You beg, already humping your hips into her hand.

Neytiri laughs softly, but does as you ask all the same. The second finger is a definite stretch, but you’re so aroused already that it only stings for a moment before your body adjusts, squeezing tight around her.

“Pretty, pretty girl.” She whispers, ducking her face back down to your chest even as she fingers you.

Oh god, she’s bitey. The wet heat of her mouth leaves trails of stinging bruises across your tender chest and shoulders, which she then soothes over with her large, catlike tongue. There’s going to be no covering the marks she’s leaving behind, but you can’t bring yourself to care. 

You’d likely let her do anything to you right now; you feel overheated and shivery, and you can’t stop your chest from heaving as you rut your hips into her fingers, moaning as the heel of her hand grinds into your clit. Her hand is much too big to fit properly in your panties, but you’re far past the point of caring if she stretches the fabric out.

The only thing that could actually bring you out of the sweaty, horny haze you’ve found yourself in is the sound of your bedroom door opening, and you freeze in Neytiri’s lap with your breathing embarrassingly loud in the silence. 

For a wildly horrifying moment, you think that Lo’ak had returned for something, and you think about just dropping dead on the spot.

But then you look reluctantly over your shoulder, and you see Jake’s big body standing hunched in your doorway, and you want to drop dead for an entirely different reason. 

Jake is looking between you and Neytiri with wide golden eyes, his eyebrows raised so high that his whole forehead is creased. His stare lingers on your bare chest, then on Neytiri’s, and then drops down to where Neytiri’s hand is stuffed down the front of your panties.

“Oh shit.” Jake breathes once he manages to get over his surprise. His expression brightens and he hastily shuts the door behind himself, shuffling quickly over to your bed to join you and Neytiri.

The little room you had claimed as a bedroom is far from large, but it feels even smaller now that you have both Jake and Neytiri’s nine-feet-tall big ass bodies joining you on your miserable, rickety little bed.

“I guess that your little chat went well, huh?” Jake murmurs, a shit-eating grin on his face as he settles next to Neytiri, leaning in close so that his hungry eyes can rove over your almost naked body.

Neytiri hums, though she hardly even looks up at her husband. She’s too busy nuzzling little kisses into your throat, pulling helpless little gasps out of your mouth every time her lips close over your sensitive skin. Her hand doesn’t stop moving either, and you feel like you’re going weak in her lap every time the thick pad of her thumb rolls over the little bead of your clit.

“You handled things badly, ma Jake. I told you I would sort it.” She says, and you can feel her lips curving into a smile against your throat.

Jake just snickers, and you can feel the warm weight of his palm land on your back. He strokes over the bare length of your spine, and then you feel his fingers tug playfully at the back of your panties. He purposefully tugs the lace fabric so that it’s wedged uncomfortably between your asscheeks, and you let out a soft yowl of complaint before half-turning and slapping at his hands.

“Ah fuck, you’re wearing your sexy panties, huh?” Jake’s laugh is a little hoarse as he tugs at your underwear.

Neytiri hisses at him in aggravation when his messing about leads to her hand being forced out of your panties, but Jake just grins. The two of them are so fucking big, they’re practically looming over you right now. Even perched in Neytiri’s lap, you feel tiny in between them.

“The fabric means something?” Neytiri asks, her attention now caught on your red lacy panties.

“Oh yeah.” Jake mutters, his chest pressing up against your bare back, which consequently pushes your breasts against Neytiri’s. “Why don’t you tell her what your panties mean, honey?”

“Jake.” You complain, though it comes out more whiny than you had intended. 

He just ignores you, his chest rumbling quietly in amusement against your back as he leans down to murmur in your ear. “Means she was hoping someone’d take her clothes off to get a peek at her, isn’t that right?”

You don’t get the chance to respond, because Jake wraps an arm around your middle and plucks you right out of Neytiri’s lap. You end up sprawled in his lap with your thighs spread wide over his, your back plastered against his chest. One of his hands rests against your belly to keep you pinned against him, keeping you firmly in place against him.

You half expect Neytiri to be irritated over being interrupted, but if anything she’s brightened even further. There’s a gleam in her eyes as she pushes herself off the bed, landing on her knees in between Jake’s spread thighs.

You feel ridiculously exposed like this; it’s almost as if Jake has maneuvered you into this position with the express purpose of showing your body off. Your thighs bracket his, and when he spreads his legs yours are forced wider too, giving Neytiri an eyeful of your scarlet red panties and the absolutely humiliating wet spot that’s currently soaking through the crotch. 

Your back is arched too thanks to the way that he’s holding you tight against him, which forces your tits out and gives him a good eyeful of the nips and bruises that Neytiri’s greedy mouth had left behind.

“Damn, you did a number on her, didn’t’ya?” Jake’s big fingers trace over the tender marks across your breasts, and you swear it feels like the contact sends a little zap of electricity racing through you.

Neytiri just giggles, her cheeks dimpling as she smiles up at you and Jake from between your spread thighs. The close proximity of her face to your pussy almost takes your breath away, and your breath catches in your chest when she rubs her big thumb over the wet patch on the fabric of your panties.

Some part of you wonders if you should try to slow things down, to talk things out, but then Neytiri hooks her long fingers in the band of your panties and tugs them clumsily down your thighs and all sensible thought completely abandons you.

You let out a soft, wanting sound when Jake’s fingers run through the slickness of your pussy, spreading you wide so that Neytiri can get a proper look at you. She even leans closer, and the heat of her breath against your oversensitive, damp skin has you twitching.

“What do you think, baby?” Jake asks Neytiri, leaning over your head and looking down at her with a grin. His fingers roll a teasing circle over your clit, and you groan as your head falls backwards to rest against his chest.

“She is so small.” Neytiri coos, her own big fingers joining Jake’s in stroking over you. 

All you can do is lay there in Jake’s lap, with your eyes wide and your chest heaving as their big fingers press into you, stretch you wide, and rub at your clit. It’s like they’re trying to outdo each other, trying to unravel you with their fingers alone. Their hands are so big that the combination of their touches feels overwhelming, as though the heat of their fingers is stealing the breath right out of your lungs.

God, you love how they make you feel so small and delicate. Getting manhandled and pinned down during sex is exciting normally anyway, but with two Na’vi twice your size that excitement turns into an outright thrill.

Neytiri kisses the inside of your thigh. It’s such a sweet little motion, her plush lips dragging gently over the thin sensitive skin of your inner thighs. It’s not much of a surprise when her lips add a little suction, a little nip of her canines, just so she can suck another little lovebite at the juncture of your hips and thighs.

“So pretty, syulang.” She whispers, but her voice is muffled as she trails kisses tantalisingly close to where you want her mouth.

“Neytiri,” You whimper. You try to squirm, but Jake keeps you still. “Please-!”

Jake chuckles, his chest rumbling pleasantly against your back. “C’mon, Neytiri, baby, help me get her ready.”

“She’s so wet already.” Neytiri murmurs, her cheeks dimpling so prettily as she leans in and finally lays her mouth on you.

The wet heat of her mouth has your head tilting back onto Jake’s shoulder with a moan, earning a quiet laugh from Jake as he presses a kiss to your shoulder. His big hands keep your thighs spread, and you end up with your legs spread wide and thrown over Neytiri’s shoulders as she latches onto your clit and sucks.

“Fuck!” You yell, your hips jerking. But Jake keeps your hips pinned down so that your ass is pressing against the hardened bulge in his loincloth, his arms wrapped around your belly as he watches Neytiri eat you out from over your shoulder.

“She tastes good, doesn’t she, baby?” Jake croons to her, snickering when Neytiri moans out a garbled response, all muffled into your cunt.

Even from the corner of your eye, you can see the excited smile that’s tugging at Jake’s lips as he hooks his chin over your shoulder to get a better look at Neytiri hungrily licking you out. Judging by the stiffening of his cock pressed against your ass, he is more than enjoying the view.

Na’vi tongues are so oddly textured, like a cat-tongue almost, and Neytiri’s licks against you are rougher than they would be with a human partner. It also means that when her wide, rough tongue rasps over your clit, sparks practically burst behind your eyes as you cry out.

“That’s it, honey. Just relax.” Jake whispers to you, his wide palm cupping your tits and squeezing a little.

Neytiri’s tongue slides down the lips of your pussy until she reaches your slit, and then her tongue is wiggling inside of you and you’re turning your head to the side and whining into the pretty blue skin of Jake’s neck. He just hums, obviously enjoying the sight of his wife tongue-fucking you as you’re held spread open in his lap.

Jake’s cock is pressing into the dip at the small of your back, scalding hot and hard as a goddamn rock, and you alternate between rocking against the length of his hard dick and back into Neytiri’s greedy mouth. She mouths along your pussy, her teeth grazing and scratching at the sensitive skin just right. 

You let out an overwhelmed sort of sob, the air catching in your chest as you heave for breath, and you can feel Neytiri smile against the soft flesh of your pussy. Neytiri’s tongue traces your folds, pulling them into his mouth and suckling. You arch your back and moan into Jake’s neck, though your own little sounds of pleasure are mostly drowned out by the soft, breathy moans she keeps making into your pussy everytime she licks into you.

The two of them are caging you in with their big bodies, holding you so gently even as they push you close to the edge. The sweet, hot tension in your lower belly coils tighter and tighter until you’re a trembling wreck, ready to shatter apart.

“Oh… oh god.” You whimper, squeezing your eyes shut tight as your head rests back against Jake’s chest. He just chuckles, and smooths some of your sweaty hair back off your forehead.

“Gonna come, honey?” He whispers, his voice all coy and teasing in your ear. “Oh shit, you crying?”

You are tearing up, just a little bit, from all the sheer stimulation of Neytiri’s mouth on your pussy and Jake’s enormous hands groping at your tits. You still manage to smack Jake’s bicep for that comment though, a weak little slap to his hard muscle.

“Shit, I’m… I’m gonna–” You start to say, your eyelids fluttering shut in anticipation as that beautiful, toe-curling tension starts to coil sweetly in your lower belly.

But right as you’re about to tip over that precipice into bliss, Neytiri pulls away and you nearly start crying for real.

“No! Wait, don’t stop–” You whine, your hips humping into the air in an attempt to follow after Neytiri’s mouth.

“Shhh, mawey, syulang. Calm.” Neytiri purrs, another little kiss placed on your soft inner thigh. “So perfect, yawntu.”

The pupils of her eyes are wider than you’ve ever seen them, and she keeps leaning her cheek against the plush flesh of your thigh. She looks drunk almost, even as she keeps kissing all along your thighs and up over your tummy, before returning to your cunt just to give you slow, kittenish licks right over the bead of your clit.

Your entire body jerks with every kiss. Her tongue is hot and wet as she licks at you, and it feels like liquid fire erupts through your nerves. Your hips twitch and chase after her touch, but Jake keeps you in place with his firm grasp on your thighs.

You’re desperate, frantic for any kind of release. This feels as though it’s been building for years, as though your body has just been waiting for them to touch you like this. God, it feels good. They’re so much bigger than you that any wrong move could end up with them actually crushing you between them, and yet they’re so sweet and careful. You feel as safe with them as ever.

As if he senses your impatience, Jake kisses the spot just under your ear. “You want more, sweetheart?”

“Yes!” You hiss, already squirming in his lap. Your ass rubs against his dick and he groans, his arms tightening around your waist to pull you back onto him so that he can grind against you.

“What d’you think, huh?” Jake’s voice is rough and gravelly as he speaks to Neytiri, his arousal obvious. “Is our little lady ready for it?”

“She is so small, ma Jake. It will be a tight fit.” Neytiri murmurs, her voice all muffled as her fingers dip back inside you. You roll your hips against her fingers, whimpering a little at the mouth-watering stretch as she pushes a third long finger inside. 

“She’ll take it,” Jake murmurs, his flat nose pressing into your temple. “Won’t you, beautiful?”

One Na’vi finger is probably the equivalent of two of yours, so the stretch is enough to send your head spinning. You barely even comprehend what he’s saying to you, but you nod blindly anyway, gasping wetly as Neytiri fingers you.

“Uh huh, yeah, please.” You say stupidly, wiggling on his lap.

Jake lifts you a little higher, holding you close to his chest as Neytiri pulls his loincloth off. And fuck, you had almost forgotten how big his dick was. He’s so hard, the delicate little glowing white freckles along the length of it twinkling like little stars, just like the ones splashed across Neytiri’s tits.

“Hush, honey, we’re gonna look after you.” Jake soothes you, kissing your temple. “Gonna be so good to you. Fuck, been waiting so long for this.”

Jake grunts a quiet moan when Neytiri’s hand closes around his cock, and he muffles his appreciative noises in the curve of your shoulder. Neytiri presses a playful kiss to the tip of his dick, earning another groan from Jake, before she looks up at you again.

“You are okay, syulang?” She whispers, setting one heavy hand on your waist and stroking her long thumb over your stomach.

You’ve never been so eager for anything in your life. It’s like your body remembers the feeling of Jake’s fingers and the weight of his cock on your tongue, because it feels like every nerve is aflame as you wait for him to press into you and stretch you wide. You’ve been thinking about this since that night, lying alone in your quarters and stuffing yourself full with your fingers trying to imagine it was his dick. No matter what though, it never feels like enough.

You nod, and lean forward in Jake’s lap to try and kiss Neytiri again. You’re a little shy about it, still a little thrilled that you’re allowed to do this, and she ends up sitting up on her knees and placing her hand on the back of your head to pull you into a sweet, lingering kiss.

As she kisses you, the thick head of Jake’s dick drags through your folds and you shiver in anticipation. Even just the tip of it feels big when he’s grinding it against your clit, and you wrap your arms around Neytiri’s shoulders for stability  as Jake positions himself at your entrance.

“Fuck,” The groan is punched out of you when you feel the insistent pressure of Jake’s cock pressing into you. “Jake… Your dick is too big, it won’t fit–”

“You think I gotta big dick, sweetheart?” Jake laughs, cause he’s an asshole like that. His teeth flash in a grin. 

“You’re such a dickhead.” You complain, but you find yourself laughing breathlessly anyway. 

His intention was to make you relax a little, and it works. Jake and Neytiri’s big fingers have been stretching you out, and you’re so horny and eager right now that it’s now or never.

Jake just snickers, and reaches over to your bedside locker. He opens it up and reaches inside, and pulls out the tiny plastic bottle of lube you have hidden away in there. You can't even think about how he knows it’s there because Neytiri keeps kissing you stupid, and you don’t have any brain power to spare.

Neytiri trails kisses down your neck and chest, pausing at your breasts again. She takes a hasty, shaky breath from the CO2 respirator around her neck, before dropping it and leaning forward to wrap her lips around your nipple again while massaging your other breast with her free hand. Her gentle but eager touches feel genuinely addictive, like she’s leaving trails of pure heat along your oversensitive skin with every brush of her lips.

Jake’s cock, slick with lube, presses up into your cunt, and you let out a garbled whimper at the feeling of intense dull pressure. “Oh, fuck.”

You jolt when Neytiri lets your tit go with a soft, wet little pop. She coos softly at you, cupping your cheek with her hand and brushing her thumb over your cheekbone. Her eyes are so big and golden and pretty, and she’s looking up at you with an awed sort of smile, as though she can hardly believe she’s seeing you like this right now.

Jake begins to press into you, stretching you wide and slipping inside inch by inch. 

You gasp desperately as you’re speared open inexorably slowly, tears pricking your eyes as your mouth drops open. Your hips twitch, unsure whether to press back into him to get him deeper inside of you faster or to jerk away from the intense stretch, but his hands are clamped tight around your hips to restrict your movement.

“Fuck, so tight.” Jake grunts, pausing. “Strangling my cock. Shhh… your pussy was made for this, honey. You’ll stretch.””

The noise you make barely sounds human, an incomprehensible mix between a moan and a squeal as Neytiri steadies you, her big hands settling on your waist. She’s staring between your legs, obviously transfixed by the sight of Jake rocking his cock into you in steady increments. Though you can’t see yourself, you can only imagine that it must be quite the sight.

“Just– put it in all at once!” You burst out, gasping as you squeeze your eyes shut. You feel as though you’re about to get totally overwhelmed, the breath driven right out of you as the shocking girth of him stretches you wide.

“Easy, baby girl.” He rumbles into your ear, breath coming in short puffs. He bites at the junction between your neck and shoulder as he slides another inch deeper inside of you. “You’re doing so good.”

You try to calm yourself, taking your deep breaths, but for a heartbeat or two you can’t breathe at all, hovering on a knife's edge of pain and pleasure as your body could only yield – it doesn’t even feel like there’s room in you even to inhale –

“Be gentle, Jake.” Neytiri murmurs, her thumb landing on your swollen clit and rubbing tight circles against it to soothe you.

“I know, I know, I got her.” Jake grunts.

Each ridge on his cock rubs against your inner walls, the slick, throbbing friction never flagging. His rough hands wander erratically, raking up your rib cage, over one breast and down again, grasping as if a handful of you is not enough as he moves his hips in slow humps to get his cock as deep in you as he can manage.

“Fuck!” You moan throatily, dropping your head to hang low as you rock your hips experimentally back on his dick. “Jake, you gotta… gotta move.”

It doesn’t all fit inside of you, but Jake doesn’t seem to mind – he’s grunting out quiet curses, his voice rough and deep as his cock rocks into the tightness of your cunt. The stretch is achy, but the weight and girth of his cock rubs against every goddamn nerve you have. Even though it feels as though he’s splitting you in two, you still find your hips rocking insistently against him, mewling at the sensation. 

“Oh honey, you been practicing?” Jake grunts, his sharp canines dragging along the side of your throat. “Goddamn, look at you. Sucking me right into you, aren’tcha? Look, baby, you seeing this?”

“I see.” Neytiri hums, still playing with your clit. She shoots you another smile, before leaning in and kissing at your tits again. “So soft, syulang. So lovely. Doing so well, yawne.”

“Fuck,” Jake groans as he watches his wife touch your tits and marvel at how soft they are. “That’s hot.”

“Go faster.” You whine, tilting your head back to rest against Jake’s shoulder. “Fuck me properly, I can take it, I promise–”

Jake chokes out a laugh, and pulls your back tight against his stomach as his dick grinds deep inside of you, stealing your breath and promptly shutting you up. The moan that’s torn from you is absolutely filthy, your cunt fluttering around him as you fight to take him in, every nerve firing as Neytiri suckles at your breasts.

“Shhh, just take what I give you, gorgeous. Feels like you’re gonna squeeze my cock off. So fucking tight, mama, goddamn–” 

You try to lift yourself up, determined to ride him, to take some kind of control over the pace, but Jake holds your hips tight to keep you exactly where he wants you. 

It’s so frustrating, because you’re so desperate for more. You know you can take it, you’ve been fucking your fingers just imagining this for days now, gradually stretching yourself out, and Neytiri has already ensured that you’re good and ready for this. You feel like you’re going to lose your mind if Jake doesn’t just fuck you properly already.

Neytiri’s tongue rolls around your nipple, pulling a soft whine out of your throat, before she releases your titty and kisses her way up your neck, pausing by your ear.

“He can be mean, can’t he, pretty girl?” Neytiri whispers in your ear, her voice all teasing and playful. “You musn’t let him tease you. Take what you want. Do you want me to show you how?”

You nod, your mouth dropped open as you pant, your stomach fluttering in excitement.

Neytiri gives you a sharp, hungry smile, before pushing herself to her feet once more. You crane your head back to watch her, your breathing picking up. You must have missed her taking off her loincloth, but now she’s entirely naked in front of you. Your eyes trace over her small but firm breasts, her toned belly, the impressive musculature of her legs, the pretty curve of her pussy. The beautiful bioluminescent freckles all over her jewel-blue body twinkle in the dim artificial light of your quarters, and your mouth goes dry as you’re seized with the desire to trace them with your tongue.

But she’s already climbing onto your rickety bed, and shoving roughly at Jake’s chest. He lets out a low, wanting sound, and lets her push him flat. Now that he’s laying flat on your bed, Neytiri coaxes you to turn – you have to bite back your laughter as you spin around on Jake’s dick so that you’re facing him, and you can see the way he’s clearly fighting his own snickers too. 

But Jake never gets to make a joke about the way you just spun around on his dick like a top, because Neytiri swings her leg over his head and straddles his face as though it’s nothing, her body facing you as she simply sits down.

“Ah,” She moans, her eyelids fluttering as she grinds herself against Jake’s mouth. “He talks so much, doesn’t he, syulang?”

You wheeze a laugh, hardly able to believe this is happening. Jake does talk a lot, but he seems very happy to be forced into silence like this judging by the way his cock is twitching inside you. His groans are muffled but no less pleased, one hand coming up to wrap around Neytiri’s thigh and encourage her to rock into his mouth.

Neytiri lets out a soft pleasured sound, before raising her eyes back to you. Her smile is lazy, her eyes half-closed as she relishes the feeling of Jake’s mouth against her pussy. She reaches out and takes one of your hands, intertwining your fingers before she leans forward and kisses you so sweetly.

“Go ahead and move how you want to, tawtute.” She whispers, her tongue gliding over your lower lip.

You mewl a little, but do as she says. You place a hand firmly on Jake’s belly for balance, before lifting yourself on shaky knees and dropping back down again. You groan at the feeling, and in the same moment Jake’s hips rock up into you and his belly visibly tightens. His obvious pleasure buoys your confidence, and you do it again.

Your thighs burn – Jake’s cock is long, and you have to lift yourself higher than you’re used to in order to ride him properly. But it’s a challenge you’re willing to take because even though the stretch of him burns, it feels delicious. You feel drunk on it, your mouth falling open as tears over overstimulation begin to leak from the corners of your eyes.

Neytiri watches you through her half-lidded golden eyes, a lazy smile pulling at her lips as her tails sways in the air behind her. One of her hands is squeezing absently at her tits, the other holding your hand tight as the two of you rock against Jake. 

"Hah," You gasp out as you involuntarily squeeze around the girth of his cock. “Ah… oh god, I’m…”

“How does it feel, syulang?” Neytiri breathes, watching the way your hips undulate over Jake’s stupidly big cock, trying to get it to hit just right.

“Feels– shit, so big, but so good–” You sob, overwhelmed yet so needy. Your legs are tiring already, thighs burning as you grind against him. “Want him to move–”

Neytiri hums, before reaching out and smacking at Jake’s hip. He groans into her cunt, the slick sounds of his mouth against her enough to heat your cheeks up, but he gets the message loud and clear because his hips jolt into action.

Each thrust shakes your bed, the springs of your mattress coming to life as Jake’s hips thrust up, fucking you from below. Your pussy is drenched, aiding the lube he had soaked his cock as he glides in and out of you effortlessly, your body opening up for him as though you had been born for this.

His cock reaches something within you that has a sob ripping from your throat, your head tossing back as you wail towards the ceiling.

"Oh my god," You cry out, his cock spearing into you and hitting that spot with precision over and over again, "Fuuuck."

“Is that how you like it, yawntu?” Neytiri breathes. She’s getting close herself; you can tell by the jagged rhythm of her hips as she humps against Jake’s face, and the wide blackness of her pupils.

“Uh huh, yes!” You whine, your vision blurring. It feels like your body is drawing tense as a bowstring, your toes curling so hard it almost hurts.

You’re not sure if Jake can actually hear you or not, considering Neytiri’s thighs are closed tight around his ears, but the hand that isn’t holding onto her leg travels down to your hip and holds you tight. His thumb strokes over the swell of your ass even as he encourages you to rock against him. All you can do is grind against him every time his hips piston up, the thick swell of his cock settling so deep inside of you it feels like it’s in your stomach.

Your pussy is already fluttering, your belly tightening as your rising orgasm begins to prickle at the edges of your body. Fuck, you already feel as though it’s about to shake you apart at the seams, like you’ll never feel whole again without the delicious stretch of Jake’s cock. 

To your surprise, it’s Neytiri that comes first. She cries out, her big hand encompassing yours as her eyes roll, her head dropping forward to nestle into your neck as her body shakes apart. 

Beneath her, Jake’s chest rumbles with a low purr of arousal as she comes all over his face – but he’s a man devoted to his mission, because he somehow manages to keep fucking into you all while he licks Neytiri through her own orgasm.

You’re actually quaking at this point, grinding yourself desperately on top of Jake as his hips thrust up into, the friction so damn good even though you can tell that he’s trying so hard to be careful with you. This particular position isn’t super conducive to your own pleasure, but being fucked like this while having such strong visual stimulation is nice – you can hardly tear your eyes away from Neytiri as her body goes lax, her eyelashes fluttering wildly as she humps lazily against Jake’s face to ride the last shivery shocks of her orgasm out.

God, it feels as though you’re never going to get over this. You feel as though your nerves are right on the edge of frying, your lungs and muscles burning and your skin slick with sweat as you rock and writhe wildly, taking a cue from Neytiri and seeking your own satisfaction. You can’t imagine ever feeling better than this; it feels as though you’re blooming under all of the attention that’s being lavished upon you.

Once Neytiri stops shaking, she takes a moment to just gasp for breath even as her hips roll slowly over Jake’s tongue. Slowly, she blinks back to herself, then her eyes fall back upon you. A slow, lazy smile spreads across her face, and then she’s reaching out to you all over again, her fingers landing on your clit to rub over it in a teasing circle.

Her long fingers barely brush the fraught nerves before ecstasy settles between each of your vertebrae. Your pussy flares, gripping onto the throbbing thickness of Jake’s cock. Shaking violently, your thighs squeeze Jake’s slim waist as everything tightens, pulses, spasms. 

Overwhelmed, whimpering sort of wails pour from your lips in a deluge, your jaw is slack, the waves of ecstasy rendering you utterly helpless to the instinctual rutting motions of your hips. You're rocking up against him while simultaneously attempting to escape the sensation, choking out gasping moans as you fall apart.

You must tighten up like a vice when you come, because Jake yells out, his hips bucking. His shout is muffled by Neytiri’s pussy as you squeeze down on his dick, trembling. 

The way your cunt constricts around him proves too much for Jake’s poor cock. You can feel the hot, thick spurts of cum as as he empties himself inside of you, his soft tummy twitching and trembling as his hips flex. You're exhausted, powerless to do anything other than bathe in the sensation of your cunt convulsing around Jake’s twitching cock as he shakes under you, moaning into Neytiri’s cunt as she grinds lazily on his tongue.

When your thighs finally stop trembling, your over-fatigued body starts to go limp. It feels as though your muscles have been liquefied, and you start to slump over a little. Neytiri seems to take sympathy on Jake, because she finally lifts herself off of Jake’s face in order to cup your face, kissing your cheeks and forehead.

Below you, Jake just groans, pausing to give himself a moment to breathe. He only takes a moment though before he starts slowly rocking his hips again, as though he’s just trying to fuck his cum deeper into you. It was too much, leaking out of your hole and over his cock, soaking into the sheets below.

“Oh my god.” You pant, your lungs overworked as you try to catch your breath. “Oh, holy fuck.”

Jake laughs, wheezy with his own disbelief. However wrecked you feel, Jake looks absolutely destroyed. His chest and stomach are glossy with sweat, his hips drenched in lube and your own release. His dreads are in disarray, his eyes hazy and a little dazed as his chest heaves. His mouth and nose are shiny slick too from both his own saliva and from Neytiri coming all over his face. 

Despite his dishevelment, he looks impossibly pleased with himself as he fumbles for his respirator, taking clumsy breaths even as he smiles dopily to himself, his eyes glassy and unfocused.

Neytiri helps lift you off Jake’s dick, which you end up being extremely thankful for when you find that your knees are watery and weak. You try to pretend you don’t notice the sheer amount of come that’s leaking out of you, thick and a little iridescent in the artificial light of your quarters.

You’re so fucked out that you hardly even twitch when Neytiri pulls you back against her chest, settling comfortably back on the mattress beside Jake. You end up squished between them in a pile of sweaty slack limbs. You feel so tiny next to them, especially considering the two of them don’t even fit properly on the bed – their legs are hanging right off the mattress, their feet planted on the ground as they nuzzle against you and each other.

Now that all the adrenaline is wearing off, you can certainly feel the ache left behind from all of your activities, and the sting from the sheer stretch of Jake’s cock.

“Ow.” You mutter absently, though it comes out muffled as your face is currently squished against Neytiri’s firm breasts.

She coos at you, her big hand stroking over the back of your head before she reaches out to smack at Jake’s forehead. “You were too rough with her, skxawng–”

“I was not– ouch, damn!” Jake flinches back, ducking down and using you as a floppy sort of human shield. “Okay, okay. You alright, honey?”

“Mm. Tired.” You mumble. You feel like you’ve just had all the thoughts fucked right out of your head, because you can barely string a sentence together right now.

“I have balms back at home,” Neytiri ensures you, her lips dragging over your temple. “Where you should be.”

You manage a breathless sort of laugh, your toes curling at the sound of that. They’ve always invited you into their home, but you’ve always been a little worried about overstaying your welcome. Now, all wrapped up in their naked embrace in your little blissful post-coital puddle, you find yourself almost deliriously thrilled about going back home with them.

“You hurt?” Jake asks, his voice rasping pleasantly in your ear. It sends a pleasant tingle down your spine, but that disappears almost instantly as his big fingers prod at the oversensitive lips of your pussy.

“Ow! Fuck, Jake, what is wrong with you-” You grouse, slapping his hand away from you. “No, I’m fine, but I’m sensitive down there. I don’t need your fat fucking fingers poking inside of me again.”

“You loved my fat fucking fingers before.” He grumbles, but there’s a teasing edge to his voice as he places a tiny kiss on the back of your neck. “Neytiri’s too, huh?”

Your cheeks heat in embarrassment, but there’s no point denying that. You just grumble incomprehensibly, burrowing deeper into their arms. Jake snickers, shuffling closer so that he’s completely plastered against your back, his big arm wrapped around both you and Neytiri.

Neytiri hums, enjoying Jake’s arm around her as her own hand trails over the valley of your waist and hips. “No need for others, syulang. You have us, yes? We look after you.”

You breathe a weak laugh, but your answer is interrupted by an ominous creaking noise coming from beneath you. There’s a brief pause, and then an almighty crash as your rickety old bed breaks from the weight of the two full grown Na’vi bodies laying atop of it. You squeal, but there’s really no need because Jake and Neytiri hardly flinch at all. They just glance down as though the wreckage of your bedframe is nothing more than a mild inconvenience.

“Oh my god.” You squeak, sitting up to try and see the damage.

“Does not matter.” Neytiri says dismissively. She’s stretching out, her lithe body elongating as she yawns like a big cat. “You will just stay in our bed.”

There’s a pause. You nearly start laughing, though you manage to bite back your reaction. Oh god, you’ve just fucked your best friends. It feels as though Jake has managed to screw your braincells right out of your skull, because all you can do is gape at their big, sexy bodies like an absolute moron. Not only have you just fucked your friends, but they’re also clearly expecting you to come back home with them. 

“Lie back down,” Jake murmurs, reaching out to beckon you back to their sides.

“I should shower,” You mumble, but you’re already laying back down. Your hips are sore from being stretched so wide, and you have no confidence that you’re actually able to stand without your knees buckling. “I feel gross.”

“Bathe with us back at the village.” Jake says immediately, his wide nose burying itself into the back of your neck. He breathes deeply, and his chest rumbles in a quiet purr. It sends soothing little reverberations down your spine, encouraging you to relax into his big body.

You have a feeling that he just wants you to walk around the village, stinking of the two of them. You also have a feeling that it’s the same reason behind Neytiri leaving all of those throbbing hickeys behind on your body wherever her mouth could reach, and you can’t fight the tired smile growing on your face. You’re too tired to argue, and just flop bonelessly between the two of them, enjoying your warmth. It’s so familiar, laying in their shared embrace. You’ve been doing this for years, although admittedly it’s usually with the rest of the family and you’re usually clothed, but it’s still comfortably domestic and intimate.

You suppose you’ll doze for a while, napping in wreckage of your shitty old bed in the pleasant afterglow of what was probably the best sex of your life. Jake and Neytiri have burrowed so deep into your life, your mind, your body, that everything feels so bizarrely natural with them.

You won’t sleep long, you think as you cuddle up against Neytiri’s smooth skin, with Jake’s bulk curling around your back. Dinner will be soon, and you’re hungry.

Besides, you had promised Lo’ak you’d be there.

[upsidedownwithsteve]

Steve Harrington x fem!reader PART ONE [35K] another year at summer camp, more broken kayaks, a change of plans, a lot of wondering. meet us in the afterglow.

Tell me that you're still mine

The drive was the same, if not quieter. 

The roads hadn’t changed and maybe the trees were taller, the sun was still too bright, too warm, a little mocking considering your mood. Your car was still shit and it still protested when you took corners too quickly. 

The sign welcoming you into the forest was the same, a little weather worn, familiar and like home. The car park was emptier than usual, but then again, you’d never arrived this early before. Robin was by a delivery truck, hat on backwards despite the way she squinted into the sun to see you roll to a stop. 

She grinned, waving but you saw the confusion there and your stomach dropped and twisted, that same awful feeling that had sat in the pit of your stomach for the last month. 

Camp Upside Down seemed far too quiet when you finally opened the car door and set a foot on the old pine needles. Like something was missing. 

“Hey,” Robin rushed in with a hug, warm and sweet. “You’re here early.” She gave that same frown, lips set into a confused smile as she looked through your windscreen, at the empty passenger seat. “Where’s Steve?”

You swallowed, the pit in your stomach opening up into a yawning thing, a wide open canyon that swallowed everything nice. It rolled, a storm between two cliffs and it made your bones ache. Acid touched your tongue and it only burned more when you tried to push it back down. 

“Uh,” your voice broke, just a little, enough for Robin's eyes to widen. “We broke up.”

——————

“What happened?”

Robin hadn’t wasted much time, closing your car door for you before taking you by the hand. Your bags were left in the trunk and neither of you looked at Hopper’s office cabin, eyes set ahead as you let the girl lead you through the trees. 

The paths were the same, worn down and more dirt than gravel, and they twisted through the oak trees in a way you knew like the back of your hand. The lake was on your left, eerily still, the kayaks stacked to the side. Nausea rolled in your stomach like waves. 

“I— we— fuck,” you were laughing, a wrecked, desperate sort of noise that didn’t match the way your eyes were watering and Robin looked back at you, more serious than you’d ever seen her. 

“C’mon,” she murmured, squeezing your hand. She walked a little quicker, down the path and past a fallen log, through the empty cabins that would be bursting with kids and noise and laughter in two days. “Almost there.”

She already had keys to your cabin, the door opened to air it out, the familiar smell of pine hidden under the mustiness of the last year. There were faded outlines on the walls, marks from sticky tape that would never come off, a reminder of the photos and the postcards that lived there over summer. 

You knew if you pulled out your bedside table, there would be etchings on the back of it, lines made from a penknife that wasn’t yours, a name next to your own, a heart drawn around the letters. 

The cabin you’d spent five years in suddenly didn’t feel like yours anymore. 

But then Robin had you by the shoulders and she looked so worried, brows drawn together and you wondered if you counted the freckles on her nose, that maybe you could stall the conversation that was about to happen. She drew a finger over your cheek instead, catching a tear you didn't know was there. 

“Tell me everything.”

[AFTERGLOW BY TAYLOR SWIFT]

You’d know something was wrong when Steve had called you. 

It had been late enough that when he asked you to come over, you’d frowned and made a joke about a booty call. But the boy hadn’t laughed and he didn’t answer when you asked what was going on. 

So you made an excuse to your parents and said you wouldn’t be too late, slipping out the front door in your pyjama shorts and a camp sweatshirt that had Steve’s name stitched on the front. Your bare feet were stuffed in your sneakers, uncomfortable and too cold despite the way the weather in Hawkins was starting to warm up. Your car grumbled as you drove to Steve’s like it knew something, like it was warning you.  

Steve met you in the driveway, hands in the pockets of his sweatpants, his hair messier than normal, like he’d been running his hands through it. When you killed the engine and smiled at him through the windscreen, he smiled back, but it wasn’t the same. 

Something was wrong. 

“Hey,” you’d greeted him warily, hands out to reach him, pushing on your toes to kiss his cheek. 

He’d caught you off guard when he turned, your lips skimming over his skin until his mouth met yours with a neediness you hadn’t expected. His nose was a hard press to your cheek, his hand squeezing yours like he was scared you’d disappear, his breath mixing with your kiss in a huff that seemed full of an emotion you really couldn’t place. 

“Steve?” You whispered when he eventually pulled back, gaze heavy and brows knitted together. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”

He tugged gently on your hand then, taking a step back. “Let’s go sit out back, yeah?”

The lights that came through the Harrington’s kitchen windows let you know his parents were home, an abandoned dinner left on the dining table, half eaten but the wine glasses were empty. You let Steve lead you to the sunloungers, dusted off and taken out of the pool house for the start of summer, the newly cleaned pool pouring out heat and the smell of chlorine, steam swirling in the evening air.  

The sky was lilac, a violet kind of twilight that made the first of the fireflies linger at the edge of Steve’s backyard fence, right by the treeline. The hum of the pool generator was the only sound and it set you on edge. 

“Steve, what’s wrong?” Your voice came out a little weak, anxiousness creeping up your chest and neck in a dangerous heat, the kind that prickled your skin and made your throat feel too tight. 

The boy was sitting across from you, your knees bumping his between the loungers, both of your hands clasped tightly together in your own laps. You wanted to reach out to him, but something told you that you couldn’t, not like you used to. 

You’d only seen him last night. A kiss against the side of your car, his knuckles under your chin, sweeping your jaw as you both laughed into open mouths, whispering about how his parents were due back from the airport any minute, how’d they’d catch you both in their drive, lovesick and melted together. 

What had happened?

You watched Steve blow out a breath, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he pushed himself to speak. “Uh, my dad got me a scholarship.”

You blinked. “What?”

Steve cleared his throat, his voice rough, like he’d been yelling, like he’d been crying. He leaned back, hands pushed into fists on the seat cushions. “Yeah, my dad came back and told me he’d gotten me into a Finance course. Full ride.” Steve barked out a laugh, like he didn’t believe it. 

“What?” You couldn’t help repeating yourself, brows stitched together in confusion. “Finance? That’s— that’s not what you wanted— wait, how?”

Steve made a face, nose wrinkled and he stared at the ground. He shrugged. “He had an old colleague that knew the Dean. He pulled some strings, I guess.”

Your stomach dropped and lurched. A sardonic laugh crept up your throat that you tried to tame, a choked splutter coming out instead. You shook your head. “You mean he flashed his wallet.”

Steve groaned, his hand running through his hair, making more of a mess of it. “Babe—” 

“Are you doing it? Finance? Steve, that’s, that’s the last thing that interests you! Why are you even telling me this? You can’t be serious. Tell me you’re not serious?”

Steve dropped his chin to his chest, eyes closing. He looked like he was in pain. “It’s in Arizona.”

You’d always heard the expression, of someone’s blood running cold. You’d thought it silly, a weird and twisted exaggeration. Up until now, anyway. Your body turned icy, a sharp chill that ran through you and it made your bones feel brittle, delicate enough to splinter. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears. 

“Arizona?” You mumbled it, a clumsy thing in your mouth that didn’t seem like a real word, too bulky to wrap your tongue around. “Steve—?”

“The scholarship is for Arizona State.” 

The fireflies on the edge of the yard had gone and the purple skies were inkier, too big above you and despite the lack of clouds, you still couldn’t see any stars. Your throat was getting tighter. 

“Arizona? Arizona. Steve, that’s, fuck, that’s the other side of the country. What? You’re not actually considering going, are you?”

“Princess,” he said it without his usual warmth, the affection still there but Steve sounded tired, drained. “It’s paid for. It’s all - shit - my dad’s organised all of it.”

You laughed then, an awful, bitter, nasty sounding thing but it was only to cover up the fact that you were ready to cry. Tears pricked hot in the corners of your eyes and your voice was sharp, biting. “So, what? Daddy’s decided then, yeah? That’s it?”

Steve flinched before straightening up, shoulders rolling as he prepared himself for the fight he knew was coming. You pretended not to see that his eyes were glassy too, matching yours. 

“It’s a good opportunity, alright? I can—”

“Bullshit, Steve!” You snapped, rising to your feet because you couldn’t sit there and listen to what was about to leave your boyfriend's lips. “Don’t feed me the same lecture your dad drilled into you, okay? This can’t be what you want. No, I know this isn’t what you want!”

“What am I supposed to do, huh?” Steve’s voice got a little louder, taking over the hum of the pool, the insects that were buzzing from the bushes. “Turn it down? Spend the rest of my life in this shitty town, wondering what the fuck I’m supposed to be doing? Hoping that one day, maybe Keith will be kind enough to promote me to weekend supervisor?”

“I don’t know!” You were pacing, moving away from Steve to walk circles around the loungers, your gaze hardening when you saw his mother at a window, the curtains quickly drawn. “I don’t know, okay? But we were supposed to figure it out, we were supposed to do it together.”

You broke then, a hiccup breaking from your throat that turned into a sob that not even your palm could muffle. Your breath stuttered into your hand and the tears fell hot and fast, salt gathering between your fingers. Steve crumbled, shoulders dropping he was in front of you, hands reaching around your wrist to pull it away. 

“Shit, princess, no, no, I know,” Steve blinked, water gathering at his lash line, turning you blurry, the pool a mosaic of blue and white. “C’mon, come here.”

He had you sitting again, nudging himself into the space between your legs, kneeling in front of the sunlounger. His thumbs were frantically trying to catch your tears, his hands cradling your face as he made soft noises, hushing you, soothing you. 

“We still can, alright? Listen, baby, listen,” Steve seemed a little frantic now, wide eyed as he tried to calm you, hands cupping your jaw, thumbs stroking under your reddened eyes. “You can come too, we can work something out, we can get a place and—”

“What?” You squinted at the boy, confused. “Steve, I don’t want to move to Arizona. There’s nothing in Arizona! Not for me, not for us! My, my family is here, my job is here, fuck, we were saving up, we were gonna move and get our own place.” The tears were falling again, breath catching in your throat and panic clawed at you, vicious and unrelenting. “A place somewhere pretty, remember? Somewhere by a lake, with— with mountains and a huge garden—”

You broke off as Steve cursed, sniffing and only letting go of you to swipe at his own cheek, doing his best to pretend that he wasn’t crying too. 

“You don’t have to go,” you let your forehead drop to his shoulder, face pressed to his chest where it smelled like his cologne, like mint and cedar and home. “You don’t have to leave.”

A splash hit your head, warm, another following when Steve let his face hide in your hair. Tears. “I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to leave you.”

“Then don’t.”

“I have to go.” Steve sounded broken, breath ragged and voice cracking. You didn’t dare look up at him. Not yet. “My dad— my parents. They said if I’m not getting myself an education, then I gotta find myself a place to stay.”

You moved them, head ripping back so you could stare at the boy, anger crawling up your chest. It simmered, a burning heat that felt almost unrecognisable. “Then leave, fuck, Steve, babe— you don’t have to sit and be blackmailed into this!”

Steve swiped at his face, broken down and tired, the bags under his eyes becoming more obvious as the evening grew into night and the pool lights sharpened his features. “It doesn’t work like that. Where am I gonna go, huh? We haven’t saved nearly enough, not for a deposit on some shitty apartment, never mind anything else. It’s just— Arizona… it’s the only solution right now.”

You shook your head, face crumpling and you tried not to cry again, but it was no use. Your cheeks felt too hot, vision blurring as you watched Steve sit back onto the other lounger, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. 

“You can stay with me,” you sniffed, voice a thick thing, bubbling and sticky with sorrow. This wasn’t happening. This was a bad dream. That’s all. “You can move in with us, until we save. We’ll work something out.”

Steve let out a huff of laughter, sad and a little mean. It landed on the patio between you both and you watched him shake his head. “You know that’s not realistic,” he swore under his breath, lip trembling. “Baby, I want to make this work, I do, but your parents— and you have your aunt staying with you all, and it’s just… it’s not gonna work.”

It felt final, the way he said it. 

You stood again, shooting to your feet as if suddenly the idea of sitting too close to the boy was causing you pain. Maybe it was. 

“So that’s it?” You laughed through your tears, a sharp, pitched noise that didn’t sound like it was coming from you. You sounded mean, cruel. You couldn’t help it, you couldn’t stop. “Daddy just writes a check and you jump? He has your future planned out for you and you just… go along with it?”

“That’s not—” Steve’s eyes flashed, dangerous. A warning you took no heed of. 

“Yes it is, Steve! That’s exactly what’s happening! Fuck me, right? Fuck us?”

Steve reached for you, a hand trying to catch yours but you moved back, head shaking, eyes wide. “You don’t want to study Finance, you don’t want to move to Arizona. But you’re going to ‘cause your dad is a fucking bully and he’s somehow convinced you that you need a piece of paper and some letters by your name to make you a man.”

Steve grinned, a flash of his teeth more than a smile, and he stared right past you, jaw flexed. You hadn’t argued with the boy like this before. Biting remarks and cruel words sure, but not in such a serious way. Not about something that could end you both. 

“You think you know?” Steve shot back, “you think you’ve got it all worked out? What am I supposed to do, huh? Yeah, he’s an asshole, but he’s still my dad, princess. He’s, fuck, he’s trying to help, okay? Am I just supposed to stay in this same town and save and save and save until maybe, just maybe! We hit forty and we can leave? Having a college degree will help me. It will. Finance, I don’t know—it’ll at least get me a good job.. One that’ll pay well.”

“That’s your dad talking,” you told him, voice impossibly sad. “None of that ever mattered to you.”

Steve didn’t listen. “This is what’s best, alright?”

“No, it’s not, Jesus, Steve, just listen to me!”

“If— if you don’t wanna move, we can do long distance. I’ll visit, you can come on holidays, we’ll make it work.” Steve sounded as panicked as you felt, talking too fast, like he could fix it if he just kept throwing out suggestions. “It’ll be okay.”

Another sob ripped from you as you spun away from him, head tipped to the sky as you tried your best not to yell. Frustration leaked through the cracks of your anger. “I’m not letting your dad dictate our future.” 

Steve paused, breath caught in his throat. You heard him step closer before he stilled. “What?”

You closed your eyes as you spoke, like it would help. Maybe it would hurt less. “I’m not letting your dad decide our lives. Not mine, anyway.” You turned, watching Steve turn blurry from your tears. His cheeks were pink, eyes glassy, his bottom lip still trembling. “You want to be apart? For what, four years?” You hiccuped, sniffed. “Steve, please don’t go. Don’t go. Not for something you don’t want to do.”

The boy took your hand, clasping it tight as it hung from his in the space between you both. It felt huge, the distance, a wide open thing. 

“Tell me you want to do this and I’ll support you, I swear,” you told him, choked up but determined. “Tell me you’ve always wanted to study Finance, tell me you’ve always wondered what it’d be like to live in Arizona and get a job at a desk where you punch numbers onto a screen. Tell me all that and I’ll support you the whole way. Tell me this is what you want, not what your dad wants.”

Steve was silent. His cheeks were damp. It was the seventh grade science fair all over again. 

“When do you leave?” You whispered. 

He let go of your hand. 

“August.”

He watched you turn to your car, a five second delay as he realised you were walking away, away from him. Steve chased you across the drive as his parents watched from a crack in the living room curtain, shouting your name with a choked up voice, panic making his words crack and break. 

He held you in the driveway, your arms wrapped around each other uncomfortably tight, an alarming fear in the air around you both. It felt awful, heavy, like the end of something that wasn’t yet finished. So you tried again, tears running down your cheeks, pouring openly as you begged, asking him to stay, to try with you, promising him it would all work out and this wasn’t the life that he wanted, you knew that, Steve knew that. 

Didn’t he? Right? Right?

But the boy was shaking his head, swiping a hand meanly over his eyes as he brushed away his own tears, trying his best to get you to understand that he didn’t have a choice. He dropped his voice, an agitated whisper as he hissed about families and business, expectations and being written out of wills, written out of a family name, how money was supposed to equal happiness, and maybe his dad was right, maybe he needed to get a job that required a suit and tie, and maybe - just maybe - he could live a life like his parents. Money in the bank, a big house, a fat cheque every month. 

That’s what being a Harrington was, right?

Right?

You sniffed, lip quivering, brows raised and your voice mean. “Yeah? Is that what you want, Steve?” You stepped back, a hand on your car door. “You want to be just like your dad? Get the briefcase and the business cards and fly out of town every week? Maybe you’ll pick up a trophy wife in Arizona, huh? Then find a girlfriend in another state and hope your kids don’t find out? Flash your wallet and make problems go away? Have a son and make him feel as shitty and empty as you do?”

Steve was silent. And then, an ugly smile, a smirk that was cold and a little dead. “Sure, princess, that’s exactly what I fucking want. And hey, fuck, maybe I don’t have a choice in this, but at least I’m getting out of this town. Can you say the same? Weren’t you supposed to be saving for college too, princess? What happened to that, huh? Reality is real ugly, isn’t it?”

“Fuck you,” you laughed, angry and sad and in no way amused. “We were supposed to get out together.”

“I told you to come with me!” Steve barked out, sharp, an almost yell. You tried not to flinch. “Fuck, god, you could come with me… we could do this together.”

“It’s not together! Jesus, Steve, can’t you see that?” You were beyond frustrated, hands balled into fists by your sides before they flew up to grab at your head. You were in disbelief. Was this happening? This was happening. “None of this is us! Not for us, not planned by us, not wanted by us! This is all planned by him!” Your hand shot out to the front door of the Harrington’s house, grand and regal and dark behind the window. “He’s dictating it all, throwing money and hoping it lands, just so he can say his son went to college!”

Steve was stone faced, eyes on the tarmac drive.

“I don’t care if you go to college,” you whispered, watery. “I just want you to be happy.” 

‘I want you to stay with me.’ You didn’t say it. 

Steve didn’t answer but you saw his shoulders shake, miniscule, and then the streetlight caught the tear rolling down his cheek, flashing. He didn’t stop you when you got into your car and drove away. 

—————

Robin was wide eyed when you finished, kneeling on your unmade bed with you, the sheets folded and sitting at the foot of it. Her hand was still holding yours, fingers twisted together, her thumb running over your palm. She sucked in a breath. 

“Shit.”

“Shit,” you agreed. 

“So it’s over?” Robin asked, letting go of your hand when you flopped backwards, head hitting the pillow. Your own one was still in the backseat of your car, a brand new pillowcase on it ‘cause the old one somehow still smelled like Steve. “That’s it?”

You shrugged, staring at the ceiling until the beams of wood blurred together and you sniffed. “I guess, yeah.”  

Robin nudged you, crawling up the mattress until you shifted, leaving enough space for her to lie next to you on the narrow bed. You were shoulder to shoulder, head sharing the same pillow and you could smell her sunscreen, the lemon and lavender perfume she always wore. You turned into her, nose pressed to her shoulder, revelling in the comfort it brought. 

“When did this happen? How long has it been?” 

“Three weeks,” you mumbled into her shirt, the corners of your eyes stinging again, tears making your throat thick. You were shocked you had more in you, all you had done since that night was cry. “Feels like it’s been a fucking year.”

“And you haven’t spoken since? Is he definitely going? Fuck, I can’t— Arizona?”

“Fucking Arizona,” you agreed, sighing. “I tried to call him the night after. His dad answered, said he was in the shower and he’d tell him I rang.” You sniffed again, pressing the heel of your palm to your sore eyes. “He never called me back.”

“Dude,” Robin sounded morose, your pain now her pain and she dropped her head on top of yours. A small comfort, considering. 

“Dude,” you agreed. You sighed, world weary and already tired, despite only being awake for four hours. “Do you think I blew it out of proportion? Was I too harsh?”

Robin opened her mouth to answer, and then closed it again, thinking it over before she spoke. She smacked a kiss to your forehead before talking, her voice soft and more gentle than usual. 

“I think you’re totally right. Steve doesn’t wanna study finance, or go to Arizona. Shit, he once thought Dustin’s pocket calculator was some kind of gaming console. But I know he struggles with his dad.” Robin sucked in a breath, wary. “And I know his dad is a certified asshole, but that little scrawny version of Steve at the science fair? He's still there, y’know? And he probably still wants to make his dad proud.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I know. I just don’t get why.”

Robin shrugged. “Me neither, but that’s on growing up with somewhat normal parents, I guess. I know he loves you though. A lot. Maybe he’ll change his mind.”

You were openly crying now, tears soaking Robin’s shirt sleeve, but she didn’t seem to mind. Her lips were against your hair when she mumbled, “You don’t wanna go to Arizona with him?” 

You sat up, chest heaving, hands swiping clumsily at your face to rid yourself of your damp cheeks, your swollen eyes. Your breath stuttered, a gasping, awful sound because it hurt being told that Steve loved you. It ached to be reminded. “No.” You were final about it, voice softening only when you continued. “Fuck, I thought I’d follow him anywhere you know? We were saving up, working stupid shifts and we had this stupid map and— and I would laugh at him ‘cause he’d circle these weird places no one had heard of, said we’d buy a house there and get a dog and… if I move to Arizona with him, we’re just starting a life that’s going to be dictated by his dad.”

Robin looked sad as she gazed at you, listening quietly, her feet resting against your knees as she curled up by the headboard. She nodded, knowing. 

“Because Steve will graduate, right? And then his dad will be the one to set him up with interviews and jobs, and fuck, maybe this new Steve will even join the family business - which, by the way, I know he doesn’t wanna do.” You sucked in a breath, wide eyed at the possibility of this kind of future. “We won’t get a dog, ‘cause his mom says animals don’t belong in a house, and I’ll be left at home to press all his suits, with like, six kids that all look like the husband I don’t even get to see anymore, because he’ll be on business trips with his dad and dudes called Tony and Chase and he’ll meet a girl with a name like Britney, and you just know she was head cheerleader when she was in college and—”

You were cut off abruptly, Robin’s hands pressed to your cheeks, squishing them a little as she stared at you, concern in her eyes. “Babe. Breathe.”

You blew out a shaky breath and tried to smile, but it was watery and weak. “So what’s been happening with you?” You tried to joke. 

—————

The rest of the staff arrived in drips, Eddie’s van parked dangerously close to Billy’s shiny Camaro, Eddie cackling and flipping the other boy off when he snarled obscenities about his paintwork. Nancy and Robin had picked up Chrissy on the way, Argyle following in a new VW bug, sunflower yellow with giant, green plants painted on the side that he told Murray, ‘s’just nature, my dude.’

 There wasn’t any sign of a maroon BMW. 

And then eleven o’clock came and everyone had to pile into Hopper’s cabin. The man was sitting behind his desk as usual, already looking tired as he watched you all trail in, taking up too much space. You’d managed to squeeze yourself on the old sofa between Robin and Nancy when the door opened at the last minute. Eddie trailed in with a guilty smile, another boy behind him. 

Steve.  

You felt Robin tense beside you, patting your knee when you slouched into the couch cushions a little further. The soft smile Eddie sent you as he passed told you that he knew everything too. 

The two boys sat across the room, perching on the windowsill and Steve didn’t look at you. In fact, he didn’t look anywhere but the old carpet, his hands shoved in his pockets. He looked as tired as you felt. His hair was a mess, like the wind had caught it, one curl sticking up from his forehead and you wanted to reach out and fix it for him, stand between his legs and let him touch you, let him give you a kiss as thanks. 

Fuck.

Everyone shuffled awkwardly, glancing from you to Steve and back again, each staff member wondering why you weren’t sitting together like you normally would. Even Murray was frowning, holding an open bag of trail mix, peering at you over his glasses. You looked away. 

“Okay, welcome back, glad to see some of you have managed to avoid jail time for another summer. Congrats!” Hopper stood with his clipboard, shooting a glance at Eddie, who grinned, smug. “You all know the drill by now, so let’s get into it. I’ve got a five ton delivery of Lucky Charms that nobody asked for to deal with.”

Murray took front and centre then, busying himself with paperwork and staff files. “Okay you bunch of delinquents, look alive, roll call!”

It went like it always did, Murray listing off familiar names, assigning them back to their usual stations, reminding them that they needed to hand in their up to date first aid certificates and that staff uniform was mandatory and not a matter of opinion. 

Billy, lifeguard duties. Robin, kitchens with Bob. Jonathan, photography - and if he had time, could he help Hopper work on the website design for the new summer? Argyle, wood shop. Nancy, crafts and more time in the office with Joyce, so she can learn the ropes with admin stuff. Jason, lake games. Chrissy, gymnastics. 

“Edward,” Murray announced, turning to hand the boy some sign up sheets. “Music. We’ve moved you to a bigger cabin for your lessons this year, we got way more sign ups than anticipated. Keep it up.” Murray clicked his finger and pointed at the boy, like he’d almost forgotten something. “Oh, and tell your girl we’re all proud of her. An architectural internship in Philadelphia is no small feat.”

Eddie grinned, chest puffed out, cheeks pink and looking full of pride. “Right?” He agreed. “She’s gonna be running her own firm in no time.”

“Harrington, Hawkins, you’re both on games—”

You couldn’t help it, it rose up like panic, acidic and bitter, bile in the back of your throat. “Can I be placed somewhere else?”

Everyone stared. Murray choked on a piece of trail mix, a too big pumpkin seed that hit the wall near Argyle. 

Your eyes met Steve’s and you saw the flinch of hurt there before his brown eyes hardened and his jaw tensed. He stared hard at the floor, toeing at the carpet. 

Murray looked confused, scanning the list of staff members to see if it were possible, but Hopper interrupted, frowning. He was gruff about it, gesturing to the schedules in the other man’s hands. “These have been written for weeks kid, we’re not fucking about ‘cause of a lovers tiff, we’re all adults here—”

“Actually,” Murray interrupted, gaze flicking from you to Steve and back again. He levelled you with a stare that looked like a challenge, a dare, a question. Like he was testing you. “We could do with someone else on the lake this year. More kids. You’ve been on life guarding duties before, right?”

Oh shit. You nodded. 

Beside you, Robin exhaled, a curse under it as she pulled her cap down low, hiding under the brim of it. Across the room, Nancy stared at you, wide eyed. “What’re you doing?” She mouthed. 

“Up to date on first aid? CPR?” Murray continued, ignoring the tension in the room. 

You could hear a pin drop. “Yeah,” you muttered. 

Eddie swore. 

“Great!” Murray was too cheerful, whacking his pen off of the clipboard. “Congrats, Hargrove, you’ve got a buddy for the summer.”

It was awful, the way your stomach sank, the way Billy cackled, white teeth flashing as he made a show of looking you up and down. It was gut wrenching, the way Robin looked at you with sympathy, the way Steve was tugging a hand through his hair and looking anywhere but at you. 

Everyone filed out, back into the sun, collecting new staff shirts and sets of keys for the gym, the music room, storage cabins and equipment cages. Hopper held up a hand to stop you, gesturing to the couch. You sat back down, heart racing as he did the same to Steve, not speaking until the last person had left. 

The jar was still on his desk, sticky label over sticky label, each one with a new name on it, everything from ‘kayak money’ to ‘therapy cash’ a scribbled out note from Eddie that said ‘lovebird fundz.’ Your stomach tumbled over, a sticky, hot nausea creeping over you when Steve sat down too, right up against the other side of the sofa. 

Hopper leaned against his desk, already looking world weary. He sighed, running a finger and thumb over his moustache before pointing at the obvious space between you both. “Listen, I don’t make a habit of getting into my employees personal lives, and I don’t need to know what happened but—”

“I’d be interested in hearing, actually,” Murray interrupted. 

Hopper ignored him. “All I wanna know is that you’ll be working together like professionals, when the situation calls for it, alright? No funny business. No arguing. No fighting. No breaking anymore of my goddamn kayaks.”

Steve was picking at a loose thread on the hem of his t-shirt and you were staring at your nail beds but when the man cleared his throat, sharp and jarring, you both nodded. 

“Good.” Hopper nodded, “get going then, get settled and all that. I don’t wanna hear any trouble.” The man made a point of glancing at the empty jar on his desk, a fresh piece of tape on the front, yet to be labelled. 

It took two seconds for Steve to round on you, your shoes barely hitting the grass outside, Eddie, Nancy and Robin bearing witness to the explosion. They stood off to the side, sat balancing on the porch railing of the medical cabin, pretending they couldn’t hear. 

So Steve made sure his voice was loud enough to reach. “Really?” He all but yelled, “lake duties, huh? A summer with Billy fucking Hargrove? That’s what you’d rather deal with than me?”

You were quick to fire back, a familiar fuse lit inside of you as you snapped, eyes flashing as you went toe to toe with Steve. It made your heart hurt, knowing this argument was going to end without a kiss. “Oh, grow up, Steve! You really wanna spend all summer with me? Wanna hold hands and tell me all about Arizona? Show me your class schedule and talk about the weather there?”

The words were nasty tasting as they left your tongue, metallic and coated in invisible armour, meant to protect you more than hurt the boy. But it did the latter more than the first, Steve’s jaw clenching as he stared at you. 

‘You didn’t call me back,’ you wanted to say. You wanted to yell it, sob it. ‘Why didn’t you call me back?’

“I’ve to grow up? That’s real cute, princess, you’re not even gonna try and be civil about this? Go back to being friends?”

You wanted to laugh at that, but the tightness in your chest might’ve been tears and you weren’t willing to let those out in front of Steve. You couldn’t stop. Poison dripping from your tongue, costing your teeth, sharp and barbed. You just kept talking. “Yeah, like we were friends before.”

Steve scoffed, nodding. “You’re right. We were never friends, were we?” He backed away, his eyes trailing over you like a reflex, like he couldn’t help it even now. “Have fun with Hargrove, princess, enjoy your summer.” He stalked off, sunlight hitting off his shoulders, making his hair turn auburn. Eddie jumped off the railing to trail after him, both boys heading towards the lake as Eddie sent you a regretful look over his shoulder. 

Nancy and Robin approached as you did your best to even out your breaths, a pain catching between your ribs that felt all too familiar, an ache that had lived weeks for weeks now. It had wrapped around your heart like weeds, vines with thorns, squeezing at you until you wanted to cry. You sniffed, head ducked from your friends view. 

Someone’s hand pressed between your shoulder blades and you looked up to see Nancy, a sad smile there. “I’m supposed to be working on the cabin groupings, but, uh,” she raised her brows at Robin, “I have a couple of bottles of wine hidden in Jonathan’s trunk. Why don’t we grab a few and pretend we’re not on the clock…”

You nodded, pretending there weren’t tears nipping at your eyes as you watched Steve’s retreating figure, the boy kicking angrily at a rock on the ground. 

Tell me that we'll be just fine

You didn’t see Steve again before the kids arrived. 

The two days before the official start of camp were spent hauling out the equipment, dusting off crash mats and kayaks, pumping up the sad, deflated balls and hoping to god the old dock would last another year. The June weather came with the usual force, blue skies, cloudless after sunrise, burning away with the morning haze until all that was left was an endless heat that lingered into the night. 

Camp Upside Down without the kids was fireflies by the shoreline, feet in the lake after lunch, breakfasts in your cabin, stolen banana muffins and fresh peaches, music that toed the line of too loud before bed. 

It still felt like home. But it was a house with a room missing. Steve’s lack of presence hurting like an open wound. You caught glimpses of him here and there, between the trees, on the edge of the lake, helping Eddie lug amps and drum kits from one cabin to another. 

Jealousy flared when you saw him talking to Chrissy outside the gym, a friendly distance between them both but it twisted in your stomach like a knot, sickly and unwelcome. Robin had dragged you away by your elbow, telling you that you were being stupid and, shouldn’t you go talk to him?

“If he wanted to talk, he would’ve called me back, remember?” You reminded her sullenly, walking towards the middle of camp together to prepare for the hoards of buses and cars that were soon to flood in. 

You stopped talking as you joined the cluster of staff members at the unlit fire, the unofficial heart of the camp. The logs were already arranged around the pit, ready for s’mores and stories. Steve was standing between Eddie and Jonathan, staff shirt sunbleached and loose around his frame, his jeans cuffed at the ankles to get some relief from the morning warmth that would only climb higher. 

Chrissy was with them, ponytail bobbing animatedly, smiling too pretty. You’d never had a problem with the girl before, in fact, you’d even call her a friend. But she reached out and slapped playfully at Steve’s arm when she laughed at something he said, and suddenly you were wondering how deep the lake was. 

Maybe Steve would sense that you were staring, maybe he still knew when you were near, ‘cause his head shot up and his gaze found yours immediately. He didn’t look away and neither did you, but he frowned when you lifted your chin, defiant. 

“Hey, uh,” Nancy appeared by your side, looking uncomfortable as she said, “you know you’re wearing his sweater, right?”

“What?” You looked down, the forest green sweater suddenly swamping you as you realised it definitely wasn’t your own. Steve’s name was stitched on the front, small and neat across your heart. You felt your cheeks burn. “Oh, for fuck sake.”

That’s how you ended up arguing via the kids, the campers arriving in a flurry of colour and noise, yelling about lost rucksacks and the youngest crying as their parents drove away, consoled by Joyce and some animal crackers. 

Max Mayfield found you in the midst of the chaos, tapping your shoulder as you turned around with your clipboard, interrupted from taking note of Will Byers new allergy medication. 

She was holding Steve’s sweater, looking at you unimpressed. “He said he doesn’t want it,” she sighed, already bored of the back and forth. 

“What?” You squinted at her, disgruntled and confused as to how Steve could reject his own sweater. “Why?”

The redhead rolled her eyes, shrugging. “I don’t know! He said that you should keep it.”

Panicked, you shook your head, coaxing the girl back into the crowd. “No, nuhuh, tell him I don’t want it. Lucas, hey, Sinclair!” You waved down the boy, confiscating the slingshot that was sticking out of his pocket as you did. “Go with Max, it’s important.”

And while you got rid of two kids, another came barrelling from out of nowhere, arms wrapped around your waist. You caught the attacker with an ‘oomph,’ your hand on the back of a familiar head of curly hair. Dustin Henderson stared up at you, a little taller than last year, but eyes just as innocent and earnest. 

“Is it true?” He whispered, shell shocked. “Steve said—”

You groaned quietly, eyes closing briefly because this was exactly what you didn’t want. You nodded, smiled tight and tried to look sympathetic, patting at his head. “Yeah, listen, it’s just—”

“I’m a child of divorce!” He wailed, interrupting whatever explanation you were about to give him and garnering far too much attention from bystanders. 

Before you could peel Dustin off of you, Max and Lucas reappeared once more, Steve’s sweater still with them. You sighed, wondering if this was how the entire summer was going to feel. 

“Yeah, he won’t take it,” Lucas explained and you groaned when Max tossed it over your shoulder. You hadn’t worn it since the night you’d walked away from him, throwing it in your case instead of yours, an accidental nightmare. It still smelled like Steve, you weren’t sure how you hadn’t noticed before. “Steve says he doesn’t want it.”

Over the heads of the kids, you found Steve, uncharacteristically stone faced as he listened to something Joyce was saying. He was nodding, not really listening, ‘cause his eyes were on you and he watched you take the sweater off your shoulder. You couldn’t bring yourself to let it drop to the forest floor, you just couldn’t. So you tied it around your waist and tried to pretend it wasn’t there. 

—————

[WORK SONG BY HOZIER]

Eddie found you bright and early on the dock the next morning, a carton of orange juice offered. 

You smiled and said your thanks, knocking shoulders with him as he stood next to you, the water lapping at the old planks, the sun making the sky tangerine. “Her majesty has risen early,” he quipped, not looking at you as you both pierced your straws through the little carton. “Can’t sleep?”

You shrugged, staring out at the lake, hoping the day would be quick so you could fall back into bed. You craved sleep, longed for your head to hit your pillow each night in the hopes that you wouldn’t dream about a summer before where you could spend it with Steve. It hurt more waking up in a place so familiar, so important to what you once had with the boy. 

“You could say that.” You smiled, but there wasn’t any humour behind it. You could feel Eddie watching you from behind his curls, big brown eyes earnest, worry rolling off of him in waves. “How’re you, Eddie? How’s your girlfriend? Missin’ her yet?”

Distract distract distract. 

The boy nodded, sucking noisily from his juice box, citrus in the air. “I’m good, yeah - we’re good,” he added. “Got an apartment downtown together, we’re getting by. Hop let me use the phone yesterday, let her know if arrived, y’know? She’s doing good…”

Eddie nudged you again, an affectionate touch. “Are you okay?”

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak, your throat too tight. So you bit down on your straw and waited until the carton was empty, orange juice tasting too bitter against the toothpaste still on your tongue. “Yeah,” you sounded tired. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, sweetheart,” Eddie said kindly, his voice still quiet, matching the morning. “You volunteered to spend the summer side by side with Hargrove, I don’t think you gotta lie to anyone.”

You blinked, not surprised when tears blurred your vision. The sky melted into the lake, white-blue into peach, pink clouds nothing more than cotton candy, the lake reflecting it all back. “It would just suck, you know?” You explained, whispering. “To be with him all day and not—” 

Touch him, kiss him, hold him. 

You swallowed, the motion a struggle. “—it just, it would hurt. And I don’t want it to hurt any more than it already does, so…”

Eddie didn’t say anything, not right away. But he let his free hand drop between you both, covering your own. His fingers didn’t twist between yours the way Steve’s did and his rings were cold against your skin. It didn’t make your stomach summersault and there wasn’t a scar on the back of his hand when your thumb touched it, but it was nice all the same. 

Kind, caring. Worried. 

“He’s hurting too, you know,” Eddie murmured, fingers squeezing gently around yours. “I know you’re mad at him, that you hate he’s leaving—”

You bit down on your lip at that, hard enough to taste metal, glassy eyed and turning to Eddie. You shook your head, suddenly feeling a little manic. “No, no, fuck,” you sucked in a breath, trying not to cry. “Well, yeah, I hate that he’s leaving but— Eddie, shit, it’s his dad. He’s letting his dad decide his future and he’s doing everything he used to say he hated and- and I don’t know why.”

Eddie’s brows knitted together as he watched your lip tremble and he nodded, scrubbing the hand that held his squished juice box over his face. “I know,” he admitted, “I know. I asked him, but he’s just talkin’ bullshit. I don’t know what’s gotten into him. Says it’s best for him, or some shit, keeps talkin’ ‘bout six figure salaries and, well, fuck if I know.”

“S’like he’s been brainwashed,” you mumbled, feeling very much like one of the younger campers as you said it, juicebox in hand. You wanted to stomp your feet and cry, you wanted to yell at Steve until he snapped out of it. “Like his parents came home and suddenly managed to convince him that he needed to do everything he hated.”

Eddie’s lips twisted, downturned and sad. “He said he’d get thrown out the house. Cut off. Sounds like emotional blackmail more than brainwashing, sweetheart.”

You sniffed, turning back to the lake so you could swipe at your eyes. “Yeah,” you croaked. “It does.”

You stayed with the boy until the sky turned blue and the clouds rolled away, the tannoy signalling it was time for breakfast. The camp came alive minutes later, kids clambering out of cabins, half dressed and with one shoe on, racing for a seat with their friends, hoping they’d be lucky enough to get some pancakes before Bob ran out. 

Then Billy was sauntering towards the lake, already shirtless, red shorts and a whistle around his neck. He grinned as he approached, eyes hidden behind sunglasses, biting noisily into an apple. 

“Been waiting long for me, darlin’?” His voice was a drawl, raspy from the morning, from the cigarette he probably hung out his cabin window to smoke before his shift. 

You rolled your eyes and didn’t gift him with a response, silently thanking Eddie with a bump of your hip to his. Eddie seemed to puff out his chest a little as he passed the other boy, his smile anything but friendly as he narrowed his eyes at him. 

“Piss her off, and we’ll have a problem, Hargrove,” Eddie’s voice was soft and lilting, an almost sing-song, but the warning was clear. 

Billy merely grinned wider though, sharklike as he brought his hand to his chest, feigning innocence with a gasp. “Who, me?” He tsked, frowning at Eddie. “Don’t know what you’re gettin’ at, Teddy bear. And besides, she’s not your girl.” Billy turned to you and smirked. “In fact, last I heard, she’s not anyone’s girl, seems like fair game to me.”

You shook your head at Eddie who’d taken a step back towards Billy in response. ‘Not worth it,’ you mouthed. 

So Eddie glared instead, his gaze only softening when he turned back to you one final time. “I’m in the music cabin all day, if you need me,” he said, “and Steve’s gonna be by the pit.”

The rest was unsaid, but understood. Loud and clear. ‘If you need him.’

You didn’t argue, you just nodded. 

Billy didn’t speak again until Eddie was out of sight, a few kids racing towards the dock for their swim lessons, for their turn being taught how to control a kayak. He grinned at you as the small stampede started clamouring around him for life jackets. 

“We’re gonna have fun together, princess, I can already tell.”

—————

You and Billy, in fact, did not have fun together. 

The boy was boorish and mean to the kids, lazy when it came to actually working and he constantly made jokes about letting the campers drown. He spent much of the morning and afternoon on a deck chair, legs spread wide and his eyes closed behind his glasses, his skin growing more tan by the hour. 

“Why do you even work here?” You’d eventually snapped at him, exasperated and breaking your vow of silence. 

“Money ain’t bad, free food and well, I get to spend my time with you, babe.” He’d winked at you, sliding his glasses down his nose before pushing them back up again. 

You somehow managed to stop yourself from kicking his chair into the lake. 

The rest of the day went like that, ignoring Billy and the murderous thoughts he invoked, all while attending to the kids and making sure they didn’t swallow too much lake water. And when the session was coming to an end, Lucas had convinced you to jump in too, the water warmed only slightly by the sun, the skies above it turning back to tangerine as evening set in. So you jumped off the end of the dock, sandwiched between kids, El’s hand in your right, Suzie’s in your left. 

And when you let the water roll over your head, feet barely touching the bottom, you wondered if you’d be okay soon, if by some miracle, you’d wake up tomorrow and the ache in your chest would have stopped. And if it hadn’t, you wished someone would tell you when. And maybe that same person could tell you what you were gonna do with your life too. 

Your hair was still damp when you walked into the mess hall for dinner. Most of the kids were finished, running past you with yelled ‘hello’s’ as they made their way back to their cabins, pockets stuffed with treats they’d no doubt hide for midnight snacking. 

One table was still occupied, most of the staff tired and lashing across the benches, just starting their dinner. Steve was between Robin and Eddie, a few slices of pizza on his tray that he didn’t seem interested in. You thought about turning around, going to bed hungry. You thought about being entirely pathetic and sitting at a table all on your own, preferably on the other side of the hall. But Nancy caught your eye and waved you over as Bob handed you your plate with a smile. 

It was awful, the way the conversation trailed off as you approached, eyes flicking between you and Steve and back again. But the boy kept his head down, nodding at something Eddie was saying, and Jonathan slid closer to Nancy for you, letting you sit next to him. 

“Did we mean to go for a swim or was the idea of a watery demise better than working with Hargrove?” Jonathan joked, his eyes kind as he smiled at you. 

You snorted, picking off the greasy pepperoni that dotted your pizza slices, grimacing when Eddie held out his own plate for them. “The kids wanted me to join them,” you explained, “but now that you mention it, lake sludge and the possibility of a leech or two seems better than another day with Billy.”

Robin frowned, concern knitting across her features. Her nose was already a little burnt, her afternoon off spent napping under an old oak tree behind the gym. “He wasn’t too creepy, was he?”

Your eyes met Eddie’s over the table and you shared a look. He shrugged, letting you know he wasn’t going to say anything. Not that it would have mattered, you decided, Steve hadn’t looked up since you sat down, his fingers busy making knots out of a paper straw wrapped. 

“Nah, no more than usual,” you assured her.

You took a bite of your pizza, if only for something to do, the awkward quietness making your anxiety gnaw at your chest and your bubbling stomach made you wrinkle your nose at the pools of grease the pepperoni left behind. It seemed more unappealing than usual. 

Jonathan noticed. “Oh, here,” he pushed his own tray towards you. “I have Hawaiian leftover if you wanna—”

“She’s allergic to pineapple.”

The voice came before you could speak, ready to explain the same thing. Everyone turned, looking at Steve as he looked at you, a small frown on his face, as if he was annoyed that no one else seemed to know that. 

“Oh,” Jonathan looked horrified, quickly pulling the slice away from you. “Shit, m’sorry, I didn’t kn—” he was talking to Steve more than you, because you still hadn’t said anything, too busy looking at Steve with your mouth agape. 

But it didn’t seem to matter, ‘cause the boy stood up suddenly, eyes just barely finding yours before he tossed his own tray on top of the trash cans and headed outside. The huge doors slammed shut, echoing in the silence. 

No one spoke, glancing between each other and the tabletop as you groaned, your hands covering your face. You weren’t going to cry. You weren’t. 

And then, breaking the silence, Robin: “So, we’ll plan a meal schedule then, yeah?”

—————

The first week of camp quickly bled into the second, the days going by slow and lazy by the lake, the older kids happy to be watched diligently as they paddled around on the kayaks. Each boat had been checked over for any cracks and splinters that might’ve occurred the year before. You held a sandcastle competition with the younger group on a hot morning, lakeside in the grainy sand that was more in-depth than you imagined it would’ve been. 

You ignored Billy throughout, leaving him on his deck chair with his sunglasses and whistle, pretending you didn’t hear him scoff when Steve walked by, your eyes tracking him with his own group until he disappeared behind some trees or another cabin. 

The summer got hotter and you felt lonelier, longing for the familiarity you felt when Steve was nearby. You missed his touch on your back, a hand there when the kids were around, chaste enough that no one squealed and yelled about cooties. 

You missed spending nights in his too small bunk, music playing low, feet touching under the sheets. 

You missed seeing him across the camp, surrounded by kids who loved him, waiting for him to lift his gaze to yours, ‘cause no matter what, he always seemed to know when you were close. You missed the way that even after two years together, your stomach would dip and swirl when he inevitably winked at you, boyish and charming, a promise of a kiss later when he could get his hands on you. 

Now, you either ignored each other or argued with each other, egos in the way, stubbornness winning over silence when you both fell too easily into your old ways. You both found that winning a fight against each other was much harder to do when you couldn’t make the other person concede with a kiss. 

But at the end of the second week, a whole new kind of emotion took over when you saw Steve and his group come back from a hike, a smile on his face as he chatted to the camp counsellor next to him. 

Strawberry blonde hair, tied up in a bow, pink this time. 

Chrissy. 

It was awful, watching them together, hands swinging side by side, not touching in the slightest, but far too close to it for your liking. You watched Steve say something, making Chrissy laugh, a musical giggle that had your teeth set on edge. You forgot what you were supposed to be doing, new logs for the fire pit frozen in your stagnant arms. Nancy must’ve noticed, ‘cause she looked up from the pit at you, face screwed up in confusion. 

“What’re you doing—? Oh.” She watched your face fall, eyes studying every move as the two led their kids back into camp. “You know it’s not like that, right? Steve and Chrissy… it’s not— it’s nothing.”

You heard none of it, logs clattering to the forest floor, a mumbled excuse to Nancy about how you’d be right back and then you were taking off across the pathways, heading for a cabin that you hoped would be empty. The crafts room luckily was, the door shutting behind you, the tables clean and void of glitter, for once. 

[DON’T LEAVE BY FAITHLESS] 

You perched there, collecting yourself, wondering once again when it was going to stop fucking hurting so much. But your thoughts weren’t yours for very long, interrupted by the door opening again. You were ready to tell Nancy you were fine, that it was just a headache, a bee sting, anything. But Steve walked in instead, wary as he looked at you. 

No one spoke, the silence deafening and the closer Steve moved, the more you could smell his aftershave, the same one still lingering on the sweater he refused to take back. He was more tanned already, cheeks freckled from the sun, flushed from his hike. He was staring at you like a wild animal, scared to get too close. 

So he stopped a few feet before you, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, the cuffs of them a little dust covered from his hike. He looked good, awfully so, as pretty as the night you left him in his driveway and it fucking ached to look at him. 

You wouldn’t cry. 

“Uh, Nancy said you were upset.”

You blinked, his voice reverberating through you like a fifty watt amp. You buzzed with it, forgetting what his voice sounded like when he wasn’t yelling, arguing, when he was talking only to you. 

You sniffed and lied. “I’m fine.”

Steve knew better than that. He looked like he wanted to come closer, one heel digging into the old carpet, debating on stepping forward. He didn’t. “Look, Chrissy and I—”

“I thought you were supposed to be hiking with Argyle?” You interrupted, unapologetic. You sucked in a breath, heart on your sleeve, openly vulnerable and waiting to be hurt. “The rota said Argyle.”

Steve shrugged, cheeks tinged pink. “Yeah, I was.” He looked at you, eyes nervous. “But Chrissy showed up at the safety meet, said she’d swapped ‘cause she wanted to plan something for a gymnastics competition the day she was scheduled.”

You just stared at the floor. 

Steve whispered your name, a crack in the middle of it, his voice awfully familiar. He sounded so much prettier when he wasn’t trying to hurt you. “It’s not like that. It’s not.”

You shrugged, staring at a piece of broken off crayon that had been squished into the floor forever ago, a sickly green that wouldn’t come out. You stared at it until it blurred. “It’s not any of my business, Steve, it’s fine.”

You practically heard the boy frown. “What do you mean it’s not your business, prin— I’m not interested in Chrissy. You’re— we only broke up a couple of weeks ago, I’m not exactly looking for something new.”

It hurt to hear him say it, even though you knew it already. But something about Steve’s words made it seem more real, more final. So you tried to keep your expression neutral as you finally lifted your gaze to meet his. 

His jaw was set tight, brows ticking up to meet in the middle, like he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Are you still going?” You asked, and god, you sounded small, scared. You hated it. “To Arizona. Are you still going?”

Steve nodded, jaw tensing. 

Something inside of you shattered all over again. You blew out the breath you’d been holding, smiling tightly, like it hurt to look happy. “Well, don’t let me stop you from another summer fling, like I said, it’s nothing to do with me—”

“Another?” Steve's voice hitched up, confusion and anger leaking in. “What do you mean another? Is that all we were, is that what you think? A two year summer fling? That’s real cute, princess.”

He said the pet name the way he used to, sarcasm mixing with malice, no affection behind it and it made you square your shoulders. It was like a battle call and you were ready for action. 

It hurt less to fight. 

“I didn’t say that,” you bit back, “don’t twist my words, Harrington.” 

Steve’s eyes narrowed. “Is that why you wanted to work with Billy, huh?”

“Oh my god, get real,” you laughed, sliding off of the table so you could shove past the boy. “You really think that little of me?”

Steve’s hand caught your elbow as you tried to head for the door, a touch you knew well. He wasn’t rough about it, but he pulled you back with ease, your body against his as he set you with a look. You knew he was mad, you’d pushed too many buttons and this time, you couldn’t kiss his anger away, you couldn’t push yourself up against him and whisper pretty apologies as you loved on him.

Fuck. 

“You started this,” he reminded you, “clearly you think I’m ready to forget all about you and jump into Chrissy’s bunk so don’t—”

You slipped up then, unable to help it, ‘cause Steve was staring at you with hard eyes and all of a sudden you couldn’t help but imagine him with Chrissy in her cabin, the lights off as he pushed her against her desk, moaning when she wrapped her thighs around his hips and gasped out his name…

“Please don’t.” It ripped out of you in a sob, tiny and cracking. You pressed your lips together so no more noises would come out, eyes turning glassy even though you tried to stave off the tears. “Please don’t do that. Don’t jump into someone else’s bunk.”

‘Please don’t forget me,’ is what you really wanted to say. ‘Please don’t forget about us when you leave.’

You felt too warm, exposed, blinking back tears and trying not to show the hurt but it was too late. Steve knew what you meant, read between the lines and watched tears gather at your lash line. You were too stubborn to let them fall but he softened, the anger leaving him in a rush of adrenaline until he felt tired, sore with it. 

Steve let your arm go, hand trailing down until fingers brushed your wrist. He stepped back, eyes on the wall behind you, blinking until his own eyes stopped watering. 

“I won’t,” he promised, words coming into a soft gasp, like he was shocked that you think he could’ve. 

Words unsaid hung in the air, glittering with the dust motes in the sun, slipping between the shadows from the trees across the walls. 

I miss you, I’m sorry, don’t leave me, I love you. 

You sniffed again, eyes on the floor, shoulder to shoulder with the boy and not wanting to move away. “I have your sweater,” you whispered.

Steve shrugged, wondering if you could hear his pulse, how it seemed to thump in his neck, his chest. It was an awful thing, heartbreak. No one told him it would ache this much to see you, to be so close and not hold you. 

The boy’s gaze dropped to your lips, saw the shine there and wondered if you’d still taste like cherries, or if even after so little time, that had changed too. 

“S’alright,” he mumbled. “I have an extra one.”

“It’s yours,” you replied, your bottom lip wobbling again. Steve didn’t know how to stop it. He looked away. “I shouldn’t have your stuff anymore.”

He frowned, knowing you were right, hurting all the same. “Did you bring yours?” He knew the answer, knew how you could get disorganised when you packed, bleary eyed in the early morning hour before camp. You shook your head. “Keep it. In case you get cold.”

And then he left. 

The second week went by the same, melting into the third with climbing temperatures and the threat of rain that never actually fell. You stayed away from Steve, tried to smile civilly when you did get too close, bumping into each other at mealtimes, on walks with the kids as you passed each other on the trails. 

Will Byers was a little taller than last summer, but he still took your hand at the front of the crowd, looking up at you with a sad smile. “My mom always says it gets easier,” he told you, whispering it like a secret. “Eventually, you don’t have to think about it too hard anymore. She says it’s like maths.”

You laughed at that, a watery thing that made you smile and squeeze the boy’s hand. And that night, around the campfire, you snuck him an extra marshmallow for his s’more, winking when he beamed at you. 

Even when I lose my mind

The staff party was an impromptu thing, thought of by Jonathan and Argyle, encouraged by Robin, alcohol run courtesy of Eddie and his van. 

You hadn’t wanted to go, thinking there couldn’t possibly be anything worse than spending your time off the clock with Steve in a small cabin, or huddled around a fire by the lake. But Robin insisted and the promise of wine lured you in, the idea of numbing the ache that still hadn’t left more inviting by the minute. 

Then Nancy was at the cabin door, a staff shirt swapped for one of her boyfriend's sweaters, bottles of wine in her hands. She gave one to Robin, twisted your fingers with her own and then you were being led through the woods, to the split in the shrubs that only the counsellors knew about, the tiny, hidden trail that led to a patch of sand that was far away from the dock and Hopper’s office window. 

There was a fire going, a pile of shoes by the rocks, people treading water up to their ankles, music playing from a boombox that crackled with static at the same time the flames popped on the logs. 

It was fine until it wasn’t. It was nice until the wine became too much and the lake started to blur with the sky and suddenly, there were stars on the sand, fallen and forgotten and everyone danced over the top of them, left feet tripping over right.

You swayed, head pounding to the beat of the bass and the forest seemed to tilt on an axis as you left your shoes behind and slipped off into the night. You were tired, tongue coated with tequila that Eddie made you shoot with him, stomach swirling with bad beer and jealousy whenever Chrissy wandered close to Steve. 

Nothing happened. Just like Steve said. But you wanted to drop yourself in the boy’s lap and press your nose to his neck, find the spot that made his hands grip your waist a little tighter, dozing there until he’d laugh at you, sticky sweet and fond, telling you it was time for bed. 

So you took yourself there, unnoticed by the rest of your friends, all of them too busy, too drunk. The shadows between the trees were dark but the lights on each porch led you home, back to your cabin that smelled like lavender body spray and spilled vodka, the raspberry remnants soaked up with a bath towel, forgotten on the floor. 

You tripped up on it in your mission to get to your bunk, bare feet cold and hazily. You wondered where your shoes were. But you stripped, struggled with your sleep shorts and dug under your pillow for the sweater you knew you’d folded there. 

It was forest green and too big, and it smelled like the boy whose name was stitched on the front. You hiccuped and pulled it on, asking yourself with a mumble, why was the cabin spinning? You thought maybe it was the pizza rolls you had instead of a proper dinner, ‘cause it certainly wasn’t the alcohol. 

Of course it wasn’t.  

And then, teary eyed and suddenly overwhelmed, you gasped, a heaving breath that stuttered into a sob. You groaned, eyes closing, your head thumping on the cabin wall as you fell back into your pillows. Your stomach gurgled, rolled and dipped. 

You absolutely were not going to be sick. You hated being sick. 

You were not. Going. To be. Sick. 

Your body made a sound of disagreement. 

“No,” you whispered to yourself, sitting up to take some deep breaths. It didn’t really help, a too hot flush rushing over your chest and up your neck, settling over your cheeks until it was so warm you were cold. “No, no, no.”

You didn’t really think about how much time had passed since you left the party. It could’ve been twenty minutes, maybe two hours. The night was still dark, with the morning not in sight, the skies above just as inky as before. But when you opened the cabin door, there weren’t any stars on the ground, not anymore. 

You didn’t know how long it had been since you left the beach, but you knew it had been five long weeks since you walked away from Steve Harrington and his backyard. 

So you went looking for him. 

Bare feet, cold and damp in the moss, sticking to the wilder parts of the woods, drunkenly complaining when you stood on something with thorns. You would’ve been a sight, a sure way to receive a warning if found by Hopper or Murray, but you found you didn’t really care. You wondered if the boy was still at the lake, if anyone was. 

The moon was still high and the stars were back where they should be but when you stopped too long to look up, the world swayed a little, your stomach jumping with it. 

You groaned, mumbling a little about the toadstools by the trees, how you needed to not squish them, ‘cause Argyle would be mad. And then there was a familiar cabin set back from the path, the lights off and cloaked in silence. You walked up the porch steps anyway, remembering to knock, not walk in, even when the alcohol made everything cloudy. 

You waited, stomach churning, breath bated, lips turned down into a too dramatic frown, but you had decided you didn’t want to be drunk anymore and you certainly didn’t want to be alone. The silence stretched on, loud enough that it buzzed and you hiccuped again, tummy jumping in protest. You hushed yourself, curling the too long sleeves of the sweater into your fists, ‘cause you decided you needed something to hold onto. 

You absolutely were not going to fall. 

You wobbled, bare feet standing on top of each other, toes squished, a curse on your lips. Steve opened the door. 

He said your name, surprised but warm, fond like he used to, the way you wanted him to. Your gaze shot up, toes forgotten about as you took him in, soft and sleep, hair a riot, chest bare. 

“Hi.”

“What’re you doing? Are you okay?” He’d noticed your absence soon after you’d left, your shoes forgotten on the sand. But Robin had disappeared too, so he assumed you’d left together. The lake didn’t hold much interest for him after that. “Is something wrong?”

You wanted to laugh at that, you wanted to tell him everything was wrong. 

But instead, you hiccuped, nose wrinkled. “I feel sick.” Another hiccup, a small groan to accompany it. “And I don't wanna be sick.”

Steve frowned, that soft kind of grumpy where his brows crinkled together and he looked at you with too much concern. His hand cupped your elbow, too gentle, like he wasn’t sure if it was allowed. But the world righted itself again with his help and when you stumbled, just a little, Steve sighed. 

“Okay,” he said, mostly to himself. “C’mon.”

He led you into his cabin, the space still dark and smelling like boy, like his aftershave and Eddie’s, the tangerine peels that Steve had left at lunch, the cherry twizzlers Eddie stashed in his desk drawers. Steve flicked the lamp on, a flicker that turned into a dim glow, too weak to make your eyes hurt but you squinted anyway. 

“I’m gonna be sick,” you complained and you sounded panicked, the floor dipping and tilting as you walked. 

Steve’s hands found your shoulders, wide and warm and taking up so much space. He led you to his bed and sat you on the edge, his sheets still warm from where he’d been lying, half asleep and thinking about you. 

“You’re not gonna be sick,” he told you, pushing you back until you were comfy, kneeling before you to scrub at your poor, dirty feet with a towel. He fussed, inspecting your soles for injury. “Jesus, you could’ve cut yourself, you dummy.”

“I might be sick,” you replied, morose. “You don’t know that.”

“Yes I do,” Steve huffed back, keeping in the laugh he wanted to let out. “You’re never sick. S’like your superpower.”

You paused, as if remembering. He was right. But still, you felt unsettled, skin too warm and clammy, but the idea of taking off your sweater - Steve’s sweater - wasn’t an option to you. At least, not to drunk you. 

You blinked as the boy rolled socks over your feet, too big and sporting a soccer team logo that you hadn’t cared to remember. You wiggled your toes, eyes still a little unfocused. 

“S’like I have clown feet,” you murmured and Steve rolled his eyes. 

“Alright, stay there.” 

He disappeared only to come back seconds later with a bottle of water, not quite ice cold, but cool enough that you chugged it with enthusiasm, gasping when you finished it. You blinked again, lashes fluttering until the cabin came into a clearer view, if only just. Steve was leaning against his desk, arms folded and smiling like he couldn’t help himself. 

He’d slipped a t-shirt on when you weren’t looking, a threadbare thing that was stretched out at the collar and you knew from wearing it to bed too often, that there was a hole in the hem. He looked softer than ever, that kind of sleep mussed that you loved, where he looked like summer and Sunday mornings, long lies and breakfast in bed, toothpaste kisses and the promise of a day being lazy. 

Your heart hurt as much as your stomach. 

“Better?” He asked. 

“A little,” you nodded, head feeling too heavy to be on your neck. You slumped, socked feet curling under yourself, your head falling to the foot of Steve’s bed. His sheets smelled like him and you groaned like it was an awful discovery, your eyes closing in protest. “M’sorry.”

Steve didn’t acknowledge your apology, but he did come to sit by you, up by his pillows where he could watch your chest rise and fall, lips parting as tequila flavoured sleep tugged at you. 

[COPING ALL ON MY OWN BY BELUGA LAGOON] 

“Why’d you come here, princess?”

You were sure you smiled at that, the soft way he said his name for you. Maybe you hid it, maybe Steve didn’t notice. He definitely did. “Didn’t feel well, Stevie.”

“No, I know, but—” 

“Wanted to feel better,” you sighed, as if it were obvious. Maybe it was. You yawned, cheek rubbing against the comforter, the cloying, sickly heat you’d once felt slowly disappearing. “So I needed to come see you.”

Steve didn’t say anything. Didn’t think he could, not when his throat felt tight and you were stretching a leg out, bare and with an already bruised knee from doing god knows what. His fingertips brushed over your ankle and he received a soft sigh from you in return, lips curling into a sleep smile as you felt your eyes shut. 

“You always make me feel better,” you added, feeling the need to explain. 

Steve’s hand wrapped around your ankle then, warm even through his socks. You hummed, a sleepy, upset sound, soft enough that it made Steve’s heart stutter and he clung to you a little tighter. 

“M’so sad that you’re leaving, Steve.” 

He heard his heart break, he was sure of it, the boy sucking in a breath as he tried not to let his emotions out. It wouldn’t have mattered, you were drowsy, still too drunk, face pushed to his sheets and your foot in his lap. But you didn’t look as peaceful anymore, brows stitched together, lips downturned. 

“I don’t want you to leave me.” 

The boy sniffed, lips parting with a gasp because he was crying before he realised, silent tears rolling down his cheeks that you couldn’t see and he nodded, swallowing hard to keep himself in check. “I know, princess,” another heaving breath, “I don’t wanna leave you either.”

Your face crumpled a little more then, leg stretching out until your toes dug at the soft of Steve’s stomach and he smiled, watery eyed but just so pleased that you were close. That he could touch you. 

“Then why are you?” You asked him, quiet and gentle and so much softer than you’d asked before. There wasn’t any yelling. It felt more dangerous this way. “Why’re you leaving?”

Steve swept a hand up your calf, careful and wary, waiting to see if you shoved him away. You didn’t, you curled into him instead, pushing your leg into his touch, seeking out more and you sighed when he tucked his thumb behind your knee. He drew hearts there, on the sensitive skin, and smiled when you shivered. 

“My dad,” Steve explained and his voice sounded a little wrecked, croaking and splintering. 

You hummed again, knowing, your eyes still closed as you said, “Don’t tell him, but, I don’t like him that much.”

The boy snorted at your honesty, not seeing much point at reminding you that he was already very aware of that fact. You’d never tried to hide your dislike for the man, speaking politely when spoken to, but keeping it short and civil. You always made a point to place your hand in Steve’s under the table at dinners, squeezing his when his father droned on about futures and business deals and how spending six weeks at a camp in the middle of nowhere didn’t get people places. 

“I don’t like him all that much either,” Steve whispered back, like it was all some sort of secret. “In fact, I don’t really like him at all, right now.”

You opened your eyes then, blinking at Steve in the low light. You saw his flushed cheeks, his red rimmed eyes, the tears that he’d not yet managed to swipe away. 

“Steve,” you mumbled his name like you were going to cry too, fumbling clumsily to your knees so you could make your way up the bed, letting him catch your hands when you reached for him. 

“I’m sorry,” he croaked, not questioning it when you folded yourself into his arms, his face finding the crook of your neck like he always did. Your hands knitted into the mess of his hair and the boy wasn’t sure how someone could feel so happy and so helpless all at once. You were in his lap now, bundled there with his socks and his sweater, smelling like campfire smoke and you. “I’m really fucking sorry, princess. I don’t know if I said that yet.”

You shook your head, tequila and wine colouring your edges but Steve had his arms wrapped around you tight and he still smelled the same, like cedar and mint and sunscreen. “I miss you,” you mumbled, voice wavering as you blinked away tears, not noticing how they fell into his hair anyway. “I really miss you and m’sorry too, I— I don’t know what to do.”

Steve nodded, like he knew what you meant. Maybe he did. Maybe he understood all too well what it was like to feel lost, to be somewhere that felt more like home than his house did, yet still feel like it wasn’t the same as it used to be. 

He wrapped his arms around you tighter. He shouldn’t have said it, knowing that tomorrow you’d both wake up and he’d still be leaving for Arizona in less than two months. He shouldn’t have suggested it, even with Eddie’s empty bed, the boy probably passed out in a hot boxed van with Argyle and Jonathan.  

He shouldn’t have said it but he did. 

“Stay?” His breath stuttered, a messy thing, as he pulled back and gazed at you. He wanted to lean in, rest his head against your own. But that was too much, too dangerous. “Stay tonight?”

He only meant to sleep, to lay next to each other and let the other be held, maybe for one last time. The idea of it stung, but the way you nodded and lay your head against his chest felt better, an overwhelming surge of dopamine that tricked you both into thinking everything would be okay. 

Maybe that was just the tequila. Maybe it was just the feeling of being close again. 

So he shuffled you both until he was against the pillows and you were against him, legs tangled and head on his chest. You hands made fists in his soft shirt, fingers twisting there like you were scared to let go. Steve thought maybe you were. So held you a little closer, his hand cupping the back of your neck and his nose skimming over your hairline, the closest thing he’d get to kissing you. He couldn’t cross that line, you were both drunk and god, he’d never recover from it. 

He wouldn’t be able to leave you if he got to put his lips to yours again. 

“Alright?” Steve asked, a whisper that stirred the baby hairs by your forehead and you nodded. 

“Feel better now,” you slurred tiredly, nuzzling your cheek against his chest, sleep dragging at you. “…hey, Steve?”

“Yeah?” 

“Why didn’t you call me back?” 

The boy frowned, wondering what you meant. Call him back? When? When did you call? “What?” He tried to crane his neck to see you, but you’d pushed your face into his shirt, lashes fluttering. “When? What’re you talkin’ about?”

You didn’t answer, breath evening out into soft puff, your body lax against him. 

“Princess?”

You were asleep. 

—————

You woke up before Steve, slipping out of his arms and his bed before he could wake, the early morning hour and last night's beer keeping him pressed into his pillows, eyes closed, lips parted. 

You stood aimlessly in the middle of the cabin for minutes too long, Steve’s socks sliding down your ankles, his sweater smelling like him more than ever.His chest had been pressed to your back all night, his nose buried in your hair. Eddie’s bunk was still empty, a sigh of relief leaving you your lips as you realised that there was one less person to explain to. 

Robin was going to have an aneurysm. 

Your face crumpled all over again as you watched Steve one last time, heart beating too fast for such an early morning hour. He’d taken to hugging a pillow in your absence, nose pushed into it, eyes closed and lashes fluttering, like he was dreaming. His hair was a mess, wonderfully so, and you fucking ached to run your hands through it, to sooth back the strands that fell across his forehead, to kiss the skin you revealed underneath. 

You didn’t. You couldn’t. It would hurt too much. 

So you left. 

The pain behind your eyes distracted you just enough from the fact you still didn’t have shoes. Steve’s socks gathered pine needles and dirt as you tried to tiptoe down the pathways, hobbling past any particularly muddy areas. The camp was still asleep, only the birds just waking up, that ultraviolet morning light creating navy shadows between the trees, birdsong starting from above the canopy. 

You guessed it was about six o’clock, maybe earlier, maybe five. There was no sign of anyone stirring, the curtains in each cabin still closed against the rising sun. So you paused at one of the crossroads, looking left and right as you decided what you wanted to do. 

It would be mean to wake Robin, your cabin door far too old and squeaky to allow a silent entrance and honestly, the idea of your own bed didn’t entice you nearly as much as Steve’s had done. You wondered if Bob was in the kitchen yet, if there was food to be scavenged, something that would soak up the tequila and beer that was rolling around in your empty stomach. 

Unsure, you headed towards the lakefront instead, socked feet trailing through the damp grass, morning dew collecting at your ankles. You were seriously rethinking your life choices, swiping a hand over your face as you tried to bring yourself back to life. You should go back to your cabin. 

You should go back to your cabin and tell Robin you fell asleep in your car, or something, fuck, in a tree, you didn’t care. You should go to bed and sleep it off and never talk about how you ran to Steve Harrington ever again. 

He was your ex. He was leaving. You were only going to keep getting hurt. 

The other side of your brain told you that it wasn’t his fault, that he was trapped, stuck, as helpless about the situation as you felt. You remembered him telling you that he missed you too and that he was sorry. 

There was a really fuzzy recollection of him whispering that he didn’t wanna leave you. 

You kicked a stone, groaning through pressed together lips as you realised too late - you still didn’t have any fucking shoes. 

“Hawkins.”

Fuck. 

Murray stood in neon gym shorts and the most ancient camp staff shirt you’d ever seen, sweatbands around his wrist and his glasses hanging from a beaded chain around his neck. His socks were pulled way too high up his legs but shit, at least he had shoes. 

“Murray. Hi,” you waved a little awkwardly, toes pushed together and hands dragging at the hem of the sweater as if you could hide the fact you were wearing sleep shorts and a top that was most definitely not yours. “Nice morning for a run, huh.”

He stared at you blankly, eyes catching your lack of attire. He sighed, turning around and waving for you to follow. “C’mon.”

It was surprisingly easy to follow Murray to the mess hall, his keys clinking together in the quiet as he unlocked the kitchen door. The place was still empty, the metal worktops gleaming, the overhead lights humming to life when they were switched on. 

Murray turned to you, shrugging, his arms held out to the full refrigerator, the large cooker, the overflowing pantry. “Pancakes?” He asked and there was a small smile on his face when you nodded. 

It was even easier to tell the man everything, perched on a countertop as Murray donned one of Bob’s white aprons, the material tied in a bow over his running shorts. He listened and nodded as you ranted, flipping pancake after pancake, stacking them on the plate beside you, only interrupting to coax them into your hands. 

And when you were finished talking and your socks were almost dry, Murray nodded to the fork in your hand, the still full plate of food. “You done?” He asked, not meanly— just, well, just like Murray. You huffed, nodding. “Good, eat.”

So you did as you were told, dipping your breakfast into the puddle of syrup, eyes closing briefly as you chewed, the hit of sugar helping the impending hangover. You both ate in silence, Murray leaning against the kitchen sink and when you were both done, he handed you a large glass of water and waited until you drained the last drop from it. 

“So, you want my advice?”

You stared at the man, unsure. Did you? 

“Couldn’t hurt, right?” You shrugged, defeated and tired. It couldn’t ache anymore than your head, or the hole in your heart. “Lay it on me.”

Murray smiled and shook his head, rinsing off the dishes as he spoke. He was serious about it, surprisingly so, his voice losing that usual sarcastic cadence, his gaze set on the sticky plates before him. 

“You love him, right? You don’t have to answer that. It’s fairly clear to see.” Murray sighed, like telling you this was tiring, like this was all old information. “And he loves you - that’s even more obvious. And I don’t know a lot about what you guys get up to back at home but… I’ve met Steve’s dad before.”

You frowned, confused. “You have?”

“Years ago,” Murray noted. “Think it was Steve’s last year as a camper. Think he’d come second in the relay race or the boat contest, or something. Anyway, before pick up, we did an award ceremony. Steve came up, got his little plastic medal, waved out to the crowd. His parents were actually there - usually it was some nanny in a black car, y’know?”

You did know. You’d see the same woman at school, handing Steve his backpack and lunch, kissing the spot on the crown of his head where his mom should have. 

“Kid was proud as punch. Ran over to his parents waving this stupid medal around. His mom gave him a hug. His dad saw that that little piece of plastic was silver and not gold, and well…” Murray trailed off, a furrow between his brow as he remembered. “I think the chief had to go over and remind Mr Harrington that it wasn’t the time for a family dispute. And that his son had worked hard and was a damn good kid.”

It sounded so familiar, so much so that it hurt. You’d seen that kind of thing before, even now when Steve stood as tall as his dad. “What did his dad say?” You asked, not really wanting to know the answer. 

Murray turned and smiled at you, but it was sad, coloured blue by the story, the memory. He wiped his hands on a towel and sighed. “He said he wasn’t interested in a second rate kid. That Harrington’s were winners.”

You didn’t say anything, you didn’t need to. You were left with the stickiness of maple syrup on your fingertips, on the flat of your tongue, but something still tasted bitter, a sensation that made you wrinkle your nose and frown. 

It tasted like guilt. 

Tell me that I'm all you want

You didn’t see Steve for the rest of the day. In fact, you didn’t see him until the next afternoon, late into the Sunday, once the sky was pink and purple and the kids were eating s’mores around the fire. 

You felt awful for leaving him in his bed alone, the covers thrown back where you’d slipped from his side and snuck out the door. Murray’s words had only made you feel worse as the hours stretched on, but you had convinced yourself it was the hangover, the sour taste of last night's beer. And when Robin had finally cornered you, you avoided her gaze and her questions, letting her shake her head and tut at you until the bell for dinner rang. 

And the next day went the same, turning corners and weaving through woodland paths in the hopes that Steve wasn’t around the corner. Because you didn’t know what to say, you didn’t know how to fix it. Maybe he wouldn’t be mad, maybe it didn’t really matter - because he was still leaving, right? This didn’t make a difference, did it?

But then you saw him by the fire pit, head and shoulders taller than even the oldest of the kids, handing out Graham crackers and telling Max she wasn’t allowed to play with the fire. You caught his eye without meaning to, unable to pull your gaze away and you thought about smiling, you thought about going over, you thought about saying sorry. 

For everything. For all of it. 

Until Steve’s pretty face contorted into a scowl, his eyes narrowing into a glare that you hadn’t seen directed at you in years. He looked pissed. Worse, he looked hurt. But he was doing his damn best to cover that upset with anger, lips curling at you until you glared right back. 

“Jeez, did we travel back in time?” Mike Wheeler appeared at your elbow, his hand held out for the giant marshmallows you were supposed to be handing out to your group. “Why do you and Steve hate each other? Again?”

“That’s none of your business, Wheeler,” you replied witheringly, making sure you squished his marshmallow as you handed it to him. 

“They don’t hate each other,” Dustin materialised at your other side, melted mallow dripping down his fingers, sticky sugar coating his hand. He looked up at you from under his curls, wide eyed and earnest. “Right?”

You looked down at the boy with sad eyes, a smile that was even sadder. You shrugged and pulled at a curl, watching as it bounced back. “Right,” you told him, even if you weren’t sure you believed it yourself. 

“My mom says that all couples go through their differences,” Suzie joined your group, two sticks at the ready, waiting to spear her marshmallows on for roasting. She grinned at you toothily, one missing after an incident with Max and a dodgeball. “She said it’s normal. But then she drinks a lot of wine and sleeps a lot so she forgets in the morning.”

You didn’t really know what to say to that, so you stared at Suzie with a strained smile and nodded anyway. “Sure, exactly. Yeah.”

“I heard Steve’s moving away,” Mike chipped in again, blissfully ignorant to the way your frown returned at his words. “Will he work at a new camp in Arizona?”

“What?” Dustin was aghast, chocolate dripping to the forest floor without him realising. “No! He can’t!” He spun back to look at you, as if you could fix it all. You wish you could’ve. “He can’t, right?”

You didn’t answer. Instead, you stood amongst the kids and stared at Steve through the crowd. He wasn’t smiling, shoulder to shoulder with Eddie as they continued to hand out snacks, and whenever the boy looked up and caught your gaze, the furrow between his brows reappeared. You thought about Steve in a new state, across the country in a dorm room that had a bed you’d never sleep in, one that was open to other girls, girls you’d never know about. 

Maybe there would be another camp, there’d certainly be another job. And there would be classes and lectures, campus coffee shops and student bars, all overflowing with new people to meet. Maybe Steve would find someone there, someone he didn’t hate at first, someone who he could flirt with, someone who didn’t know about his parents, his past, his daddy’s influence. 

Maybe he’d be happier there. Without you. 

Dustin was still looking at you, waiting for a response. You tried to smile, you did. But it was tight and watery, and not believable at all. “I don’t know, bud,” you shrugged. “It’s… whatever.”

If Steve could decide that he didn’t care anymore, that he could go back to glaring at you across the forest, you could too. What did he expect you to do? Wake up in his arms and suddenly decide that you were okay with moving to another state? That you were happy to obey his fathers orders, just like he was?

It didn’t make a difference. Nothing would change. It didn’t matter. If Steve wanted to play enemies again, fine. You’d give as good as he did. 

—————

When Dustin and El found you later that day, you were glad for the distraction. The lake had been quiet after swimming classes, the forest shrouded in shadows after heavy clouds rolled in, hiding the sun. The two had run towards you from the centre of camp, sneakers kicking up dust as you watched them, ignoring how Billy was trying to edge closer, fingers teasing at the straps of your swimsuit. 

You’d told him to leave you alone, you’d told him to fuck off. You’d even tried to ignore him. Every option only made the boy grin wider. So you left your post on the dock and made your way towards the kids, smiling up until you saw their worried faces, panic in their eyes. You moved faster, meeting them by the shoreline, concern growing like a knot in your stomach. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked, already searching over their heads for some kind of danger, for an emergency. 

“Will needs help!” Dustin urged as El grabbed your hand, tugging at you, waiting for you to follow. 

“What? What’s wrong? Where is he?” You were already running with them, following them past the mess hall, past the gym, towards where the cabins grew older, damp and unused, overgrown with vines and weeds. 

“Uh, an allergic reaction!” Dustin yelled. 

“Asthma attack!” El told you at the same time. 

You slowed, just a little, your pace stumbling at each answer. You looked down at the girl, her flushed cheeks and wide eyes, wondering if you’d heard them both right. “Wait, wha—?” But then Dustin was grabbing your other hand and pulling you with determination, feet tripping over fallen branches until a cabin came into view. 

Lucas and Max were standing outside of it, waving their arms like they were trying to flag you down, as if you could miss them.

“He’s in here!” Lucas told you, worried scrambled with what you thought was panic. “We think it’s a snake bite. Maybe a tarantula!”

Again, you stopped, looking between the four kids with confusion wrinkling your features. “What? A tarantula? Guys— shouldn’t we get Hopper? Someone needs to—”

“Mike and Suzie are getting him,” Max assured you, smiling too sweetly as Lucas and El placed their hands on your back, pushing you towards the door. 

The cabin was dark, most of the windows boarded up, broken glass on the forest floor. Why the fuck was Will in there? Before you could ask, you were shoved one final time, the door slamming shut behind you. You made a sound of protest, turning to wiggle the handle but it was already locked.

“Guys! What the hell!” You thumped on the door with a fist, rattling the wood until the old hinges squeaked in protest. It wouldn’t budge. “Are you kidding me?”

 There was nothing but the sound of birds, insects that buzzed and the distant sound of kids on the lake. “Guys! Dustin! I swear to god, you’re gonna be in so much trouble. I know this was your idea—”

The rusting of leaves, a twig snapping and then more voices. Hushed whispers that were interjected with another voice, an older one.

Male and annoyed. 

No. 

The cabin door opened abruptly and before you could barge your way out, another body was shoved inside, clumsy and disorientated. The figure was tall, broad shouldered and wearing a camp counsellor shirt, the forest green cotton sun bleached and faded. The boy’s hair was a mess, his cheeks already freckled from the sun, his brown eyes squinting into the dim light as he adjusted out of the sun. 

“You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“What the fuck?” Steve stood in the middle of the empty cabin, scowling at you even through his confusion. But the door had already been slammed shut again, the metallic clunk of a deadbolt sliding into place. “What’s going on? Those little shits told me they found a fucking bear cub.”

You rolled your eyes, stomping over to the door to bang on it again. “There’s no bears in Indiana, Steve, we’ve been over this.” You huffed when Steve swore and suddenly the cabin felt five times as small. “Dustin! Max!”

Silence. 

“Then how’d they get you here, huh?” Steve spat, marching over to one of the boarded windows, doing his best to push the planks free of the rusted nails. “Did they tell you Hargrove was wet and waiting or something?”

You stared at him, gaze withering as you attempted to ram your shoulder into the door. It did nothing but bruise your arm and your ego, the wood refusing to move. “Get over yourself, Steve. Just because you’re happy to let Chrissy follow you around with her pom-poms out, doesn’t mean I’m ready to jump the next guy I see. Lucas! I know you’re still there! El, open the door!”

The space outside the cabin was silent and for a horrified second, you were almost sure the kids had left. 

“I told you, it’s not like that,” Steve growled, slamming his palm into the board one more time. 

“Yeah, well, despite me being repulsed by Billy Hargrove for the last five years, you don’t seem to get that it’s not like that either,” your voice was poisonous, your glare just as deadly. “So let’s not play that game, Harrington.”

Steve let out a bitter laugh, forgetting about his escape plan to round on you instead. “Oh, so it’s Harrington again, is it?”

[EXILE BY TAYLOR SWIFT FT. BON IVER]

It felt awfully familiar, the sharpness in his tone, the mocking laughter, the way he glared at you. ‘Cause despite the anger, the annoyance, the frustration, a tension was still there that you’d recognised from your first year at camp with Steve. 

A feeling that followed you home to Hawkins, one that greeted you every time you bumped into the boy in the supermarket, every time you spotted him at the pool, the arcade, the bowling alley. A tension that fizzed and popped, your own personal storm that crackled everytime Steve Harrington was near. 

Except now - just like the beginning - you weren’t able to do anything about it. 

“I can think of names that are a lot less nice than that,” you snapped back, turning away from the door to face him. “Take your pick, I’d be happy to oblige.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you would, princess,” Steve was closer now, toe to toe, another achingly familiar position. You could smell his cologne, his sunscreen. You could see the way new freckles had gathered across the bridge of his nose. “No need to get bitchy about it though.”

All thoughts of kissing him, of lunging forward and pushing your lips to his to try and end this mess - to fix it - left your head at his words. You gaped at him, anger rising, blood boiling. Steve looked at you like he knew he’d overstepped. 

“Bitchy?” You repeated, your voice getting higher in pitch and volume. “About it? It?”

“I didn’t mean it like that—”

“What’s ‘it’ Steve?” You steamrolled him, arms crossed over your chest as you took another step forward, your converse kicking at the toes of his sneakers. “Our breakup? I'm not to get bitchy about that?”

“Hey, you’re the one who broke up with me,” Steve shot back, an accusatory finger pointed in your direction. “So don’t act all high and mighty about it.”

“I broke up with you?” You scoffed, letting the annoyance buzz at your skin like a swarm of wasps, anything to stop yourself from crying. “You’re leaving, Steve. You’re leaving me, remember?”

“You left me the other night!” Steve burst out, throwing back his response like it was suddenly a competition, a contest to see who hurt the other more. To see who’s heart was the most broken. “You left. I woke up, and you were fucking gone, so don’t start yelling about being left alone.”

You weren’t sure who was winning. 

“You’re moving across the fucking country!” You yelled, finally snapping, tears stinging at the corners of your eyes. “You’re really, really leaving me.”

You took a step back then, and another and another, clumsy through the cabin until your back hit a table. Steve’s hand twitched at his side, like he wanted to reach out, like he wanted you to hold onto it. He didn’t move. 

“What do you want me to do?” Steve said, his voice more serious than you’d ever heard it. In fact, he sounded a little like his dad. “You want me to say no to him? Huh? D’you want me to say fuck it to the last opportunity I’ll probably ever get? Want me to stay unsuccessful with a shit job and a shit wage and just hope one day I can do enough for you? For us?”

Your eyes turned watery at that, despite the anger his words ignited in you, the frustration. “You’ve always been enough for me, Steve.”

The boy came closer then, like he’d wanted to. His footsteps were unsure, nervous and slow, but when he realised you weren’t backing away, you weren’t running, he was suddenly toe to toe. He was taller, tall enough for you to have to tilt your chin up to meet his gaze and you didn’t try to hide your tears. You held your head proud instead, refusing to look away. Your stubbornness made the boy smile, a little knowing, a little sad. ‘Cause he wanted to wipe your eyes, sweep his thumb under your lash line and pull you close. 

“So what do I do, princess? Rip up the acceptance letter and mail the pieces to my dad? Hope he doesn’t kick me out of the family? Hope I have a bed to go back to? Do I get down on my knees for you here? Do I beg for you? Do I ask you to be mine again and hope to fuck that what ever comes next works out for us? Do I go back to Family Video and wait for you to work out what you wanna do with your life too?”

Steve wasn’t teary eyed like you were, but his expression seemed worse. His brows knitted together, his gaze helpless, sad, worried. But his hands were frantic, suddenly on your waist and pulling you close, chests bumping, his fingers twisting into your shirt.

“Do I kiss you now? Do I fuck you over this table and call you princess? Tell you that-- that,” Steve choked on his words, shaking his head at you like you were the one asking for him to say it. To admit it. “To tell you that I love you and it’s gonna be fine no matter what?”

You could help but feel the pull in your stomach at his words, the hook there that seemed to be tied to the way Steve kept his hands on you, your body pressed against his. He leaned in and you kept your eyes on his, noses bumping, lips hovering. It seemed so long since you’d last kissed him, years and years and years. You wondered what would happen if you gave in, if you pushed yourself onto your toes and pressed your mouth to his. Would it fix things? Would it change his mind, would it change yours? Would it make you feel better, even just for a second?

“Are you happy?” you asked the boy instead and you watched his bravado crumble in front of your eyes. “Are you happy about Arizona? About college? About finance and your future and leaving?”

Steve let go of you and stepped back, his warmth and the smell of his cologne fading. You should’ve stopped talking, you should’ve pulled him back and kissed him one last time, let him pull off your clothes, clumsy and desperate, you should’ve begged for him to make you come one last time, you should’ve made him feel so good that he’d never forget the way you felt wrapped around him. 

“Would you be happy if I came with you? If I let your dad buy us some condo in Phoenix? If I went to college too, to study a major I didn’t want? Maybe get a job in an office where I gotta wear some tight, little pencil skirt and too high heels, but shit, it’s good money, right?” You were breathing harder now, trying not to cry, trying not to give in and say fuck it to all of it. “Would that make you happy, Steve?”

‘No,’ he wanted to say. ‘No it wouldn’t.’ He wanted to tell you that he wanted none of that, that none of that would make him feel any better. He wanted to yell out and kick the wall, kick the door. He wanted to grab you and pull you close, ask you to kiss him until he felt better, until he had enough courage to tell his dad that he wasn’t fucking following his rules. Until he felt brave enough to take your hand and let the pieces fall where they may.

Instead, he turned and made his way to the door, opening it easily, like the kids had heard enough and realised that this wasn’t going to work. Steve stopped then, his back to you as he paused in the doorframe, the forest empty and quiet before him. Like it was waiting for him, like you were. 

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” Steve murmured sadly. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” 

“I just want you to be happy, Steve,” you whispered back. “I want you to do what makes you happy.”

Steve walked away. 

—————

Steve didn’t know where he was going, just that he needed to get away from the cabin, from you, from the way you looked at him, the way you sounded. Like you were broken and hurt and it was all his fault.

Like he couldn’t do anything about it. 

He passed the kids who were lingering by a broken log, kicking stones and looking guilty. Steve didn’t say anything, just tried to smile a little sadly at Dustin when he mouthed an apology, eyes wide and sad. 

The wild roots and the overgrown bushes eventually gave way back to the normality of the camp, well worn pathways and the sounds of the lake. If you’d followed him, Steve didn’t know, he didn’t hear, he didn’t look back. His father’s voice was in his head, an echo from weeks before, a mantra about what it took to become a man, six figure paychecks and the white picket fence dream. 

He didn’t want to go to Arizona. He didn’t want to leave you. 

Steve kept walking. 

A fast car, an office with a view, a mahogany desk, a custom leather briefcase, a pretty wife and a prettier secretary. Kids you didn’t talk to, a cheque book you could bargain with, a house that was bigger than your neighbours, a pool out back that was deeper than everyone else’s. 

Steve kept walking. 

A promotion, golf on the weekends with your boss, business cards with your name embossed in gold. Arguments at Christmas, couples therapy on your tenth wedding anniversary, a secret email address for the woman nobody knew about. 

Steve kept walking. 

A life like his dad’s, his parent’s. 

“Is that you, Harrington?”

Steve groaned, turning to see Billy walking up the dock and towards him. The kids in Billy’s swim group were just leaving, variations of soaking wet and shivering as they all ran past Steve with towels bundled around their shoulders, greeting him with enthusiasm. 

“Yeah, it’s me,” Steve huffed, levelling the other boy with a glare that told the other counsellor that he was less than pleased to see him. Steve waited until the last camper ran past them, stumbling towards the mess hall with wet feet. “Don’t cream your pants.”

Billy grinned, that wide spreading smile that made him look more dangerous rather than friendly. He was spinning his whistle from one finger, shirtless and tanned, sauntering towards Steve like he had all the time in the world. “I’ll try not to,” he snarked, eyebrows raised. “But word on the street is you’re the one who’s not gettin’ any.”

“Get fucked, Hargrove,” Steve snarled, immediately on edge, shouldering his way past the other boy so he could continue walking to god knows where. Maybe he’d find Eddie. Maybe he’d let him sulk in the corner of the music cabin. 

“Always trying,” Billy answered gleefully, ignoring Steve’s bad mood. “What about your girl?”

Steve stopped. 

“My bad, she’s not your girl anymore, is she?” Steve didn’t need to turn back around to know Billy was still grinning. He could hear the laughter in his voice, the pleasure at his twisted words. “Either way, I’m pretty sure she’ll be gagging for it by now, right? You guys were always at it. In the gym, your cabin, fuck— I bet she’ll jump on the next guy who offers—”  

If Steve was surprised he let Billy talk that long before launching himself at him, well, so was Billy. Steve’s fist landed on the other boy’s jaw with a crunch, a satisfyingly, sickening noise that only urged Steve on. He managed to grapple at the boy pushing him over until Billy tumbled into the dirt, skin smeared with wet sand and pine needles. 

It didn’t take much for Steve to land on top of him, anger and frustration coming out as quickly as the blood from his knuckles. He managed to aim one more blow at Billy’s nose before the boy pushed him back, the breath knocked from Steve’s lungs as a fist caught his cheekbone, a crack resonating through his face, making his head buzz, his ears ring. He let out a yell as he tried to bring his knee up, catching Billy in the groin with it, pushing him back even as Billy tried his best to push Steve’s head into the forest floor, pine cones piercing his shoulders, his neck, his cheek. 

And then the pressure was lifted from his chest as Billy was hauled away, tattooed arms lifting the boy off of Steve, Eddie yelling obscenities as Billy thrashed. 

Steve scrambled up, launching himself forward without a care, ignoring Eddie’s warnings as he raised his arm again to try and land another hit but Jonathan caught his wrist, wrenching him backwards. 

“Fuck, man. Let it go, yeah?”

Steve was panting, blood on his knuckles, a split in his cheek that was angry and red, pine needles and sand on his shirt and in his hair. “You didn’t hear what he was saying,” the boy managed to ground out. “What he was sayin’ about, about—”

“She’s not your fucking girl, Harrington,” Billy yelled, cursing when Eddie elbowed him in the side, never letting go of the hold he had on him. “The only person you’re gettin’ fucked by now is your daddy—”

Steve managed one more hit, a crack to Billy’s nose that Eddie winced at but said nothing. Unfortunately, Hopper had a lot to add to the conversation as he marched towards the group, yelling before he was even within hearing distance, moustache twitching as the campers that Steve didn’t even see, parted as he got closer. 

“Harrington! Hargrove!” 

Eddie and Jonathan stepped back from the accused, hands raised to show their intact knuckles, how their hands were clean, not bloodied. 

“My office! Now!”

—————

Eddie jumped up from where he was lying on his bunk when Steve finally entered the cabin. The boy was flustered looking, knuckles wiped clean of blood but the cuts on his fingers and face were angry looking, red and fresh. 

Hours had passed since Hopper had led the two boys into his office, both covered in blood and pieces of the forest floor, glaring at each other as they walked into the cabin.  

Steve stripped off his dirty shirt as Eddie eyed him warily, dropping the comic he’d been reading in order to sit at the end of his bed and wait. When Steve finally pulled on a clean staff shirt and sighed, Eddie threw him an ice pack that he’d managed to wrangle from Joyce’s office. 

“Did he fire you?”

“He offered me a job.”

Eddie blinked. “What?”

Steve groaned, letting himself fall onto the bed, his hands scrubbing at his face, hissing when he caught the Billy inflicted cut on his cheekbone. “He offered me a fucking job, dude. Didn’t even yell.”

“Like, a new job? An actual job?” Eddie moved to the end of Steve’s bed, shoving at his friend's legs until there was enough room for him to sit. “What the fuck?”

“He dealt with Hargrove and told him to walk it off,” Steve murmured, wincing when he brought the ice pack to his face. “Then he sat me down and asked me what the fuck I was playing at. He wasn’t even mad about the fight, he told me he’d heard about Arizona—‘bout my dad.”

Eddie just waited, breath held as he wondered where this was going, if Steve was going to crack. 

“He said it was a real shame I wouldn’t be back next summer and that it was an even bigger crime that I was listening to Michael Harrington.”

Eddie’s mouth fell open and he picked at the bedspread, suddenly feeling awkward. “Shit.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “Shit. Told me he knew my dad from school, apparently they played football together or somethin’. Said he was sad that I was doing something I didn’t wanna do.”

Eddie paused then, waiting. Waiting for Steve to admit it to him the same way he’d get to admit it to himself.  “What did you say?”

“Nothing at first.” Steve shrugged. “But he sat and stared me out like some kinda cop and fuck, I dunno. I started rambling.”

With raised brows and an expectant expression, Eddie waved his hand at the boy. “About?”

Steve squirmed, pink cheeked and embarrassed. He stared at the bedsheets, shrugging. “Everything, I guess. Anyway, he said he and Murray have been planning to open this kids club thing for a while, some kind of community centre. S’open seven days a week, all through the year. Not just summer.”

Steve stood up then, pacing, his hand going to his hair to pull ag the strands and Eddie had to turn to watch him, up and down, up and down the cabin. 

“He wants me to run it.”

“Shit,” Eddie was quiet, shocked. 

“Shit,” Steve agreed. 

“Like, a manager?” 

“Yeah, like a manager. Full time.” Steve let out another sigh and he sounded tense. Stressed. “It’s in Shelbyville.”

Eddie let out a low whistle, flopping back onto the space Steve had vacated. His head hit the pillows and he smiled, unable to help himself. “That’s near Hawkins, right?”

“‘Bout a half hour out,” Steve confirmed. 

“Hell of a lot closer than Arizona, huh?”

“Yeah, sure is.”

“So, he offered you it, just like that?” Eddie snapped his fingers and stared at the beams across the ceiling, not sure how far he could push Steve. “No degree needed?”

“No degree needed,” Steve repeated. He sounded dazed. “Good pay, healthcare, dental, pension. Everything. Hop said he thought I’d be really good at it. That he couldn’t imagine asking anyone else.”

Steve didn’t say anything about how his manager’s words made him realise that his dad didn’t know him at all. Less than he’d originally thought. 

Silence took over, just for a few minutes and Steve did the same as Eddie, flopping down onto the other bunk with a soft ‘oof’, his arms stretched out the mattress and his eyes trained on the ceiling. In the quiet, he could hear the kids by the lake, wrestled into order by another staff member, someone who sounded like Nancy. A whistle blew, shrill and sharp and then splashes, happy shrieks. Steve lay until the sun warmed his face, until he had to squint and sit up, the cabin filled with that golden kind of light that only appeared around dinner time. 

The same light hit off Eddie’s rings, silver turning even brighter and rainbows bounced off of them, tiny and scattering across the walls when Eddie moved. He sat up when Steve did, both boys peach and pink coloured in the sun. 

“So, what’re you gonna do?” Eddie finally asked. He said it softly, like he was scared to ask, like he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer. 

“I’m not sure,” Steve replied honestly and he didn’t try to hide the distress on his features. He felt tired, too heavy. A little lost. “But I don’t want to fucking go to Arizona.”

PART TWO

[peachesofteal]

Ghoap x reader zombie apocalypse AU? 👀 just gonna leave that here...

Ooh anon you got me with this. Thought about it all night. A full fic of this dynamic in an apocalypse setting would be so good. Sadly, I don't have it in me to write an entire fic for this but I scratched it out as a dead disco au down below on my phone (I took bits and pieces of zombie media and smashed them together as I like):

18+ MDNI / angst, death

It was an accident.

All you had wanted to do was try to find some mushrooms. You knew this part of the woods usually had a fair amount to forage, and you were pretty good at distinguishing the good ones from the not so good ones. You hadn't meant to get distracted.

You knelt down to the forest floor, picking at a piece of bark on a downed log when you heard the rustling, the suspect sound of something moving through the brush near you.

You expected one of the slow ones. The ones that usually found themselves this far from the city, wandering aimlessly, looking for the next meal. Decaying and rotting flesh hanging from their limbs, a sign they had been long infected, the decomposition marking them as something easily escapable.

You did not expect a runner.

You screamed- a huge no no, as Simon had been drilling into your head- when you saw it, far too late, tripping over yourself to try to get away, your hunting knife pressed into the palm of your hand.

You stood little chance against a runner. They were fresh, muscles still intact, lactic acid burning through their bodies, movements fast and sharp, able to take down an entire human in one fell swoop. They even looked like you, still holding their pallor, their posture, their fine motor skills.

Only their minds were gone. Addled by the infection, brains turned to hot mush inside their skulls.

They had one objective.

Eat.

You managed to clear the log, sprinting as fast as you possibly could, trying to take long, deep breaths through your nose just as Johnny taught you.

"More oxygen that way, love. It'll help your endurance, keep you runnin' longer."

They were always doing that now, equipping you for survival. Trying to train you like a solider, teaching you the finer points they thought you should know.

"We're gonna make it, together." Simon had said, the morning they showed up in the middle being away for work, clad in full tactical gear, guns in hand. "As a family."

"Ye have to listen to everything we say, alright darling? Everything's goin' to be okay." Johnny promised at the same time as you tried to pack some essentials into your backpack with trembling fingers.

They were obsessed with trying to instill as much of their knowledge into as possible, trying to prepare you, help you, listing off rules they thought were key, ensuring you knew to follow them.

One being: don't get distracted.

You curse yourself, feet flying underneath your body and heart thrumming in your chest with panic. You're too slow, and you can hear it behind you, sprinting just as fast as you are, preparing to launch and take down it's next meal.

You don't see the snare of brambles until you're in them, nearly slamming to a stop, thorns scratching against your skin as you fight against the thicket. It's too dense, slowing your ability to get away... and the runner is still hot on your heels, working its way through the mess, snapping its jaw like a shark.

Simon comes out of nowhere. One second you're hacking away at the branches and the next, there's a massive, solid warmth at your back, standing between you and the snarling monster. He's facing away from you, brandishing a knife, engaged in a full fight with the runner, taking it to the ground in an attempt to get the blade into its temple. You watch mouth wide, frozen, holding your breath until the job is done, and Simon is hauling himself upwards, pulling you into his arms before stepping back to look you over.

You burst into tears. You've always told them, you're not for this kind of world. You're too gentle, too sensitive. You're a painter, for fucks sake. Not a killer. You're too soft to survive.

They say it doesn't matter. That you can be as soft as you want, because you have them, and they'll be the killers. They'll be the hard ones.

"Did it get you? Let me see, c'mon-" He checks your arms, your neck, the tear on your shirt but finds nothing. "Alright, you're alright." He's telling you, and himself, relief exhaling from his body with each syllable. "You're alright, darling. I've got ya. Come here." He holds you tight, rubbing your back, kissing your cheek, your forehead until you're calm, breathing deeply and wiping your face.

You believe the worst has passed, until you blink up at him, and see the blood on his neck.

The bite.

"We need to make a plan."

"We're nae makin' a bloody plan." Johnny hisses, and Simon closes his eyes like he's tired. "We keep goin'. We'll make it to the rendezvous with Price and they'll have a solution. We dinnae even know how fast it spreads."

Simon lets loose a sigh, heavy with exhaustion. With the toll that this life has become. With the weight, of everything. He tucks you into his body, wrapping his other arm around Johnny, and holds the two of you close. Tightly. Tighter than he ever has before.

"Alright."

The next morning, everything is different.

You woke up last, fire still barely smoldering, little energy bar on the ground next to you. The guys sleeping bags were already rolled up, stacked neatly with Simon's pack, and the long gun that Johnny carries.

But they were nowhere to be found.

Confused, you slid free, stretching with a silent groan, scanning your surroundings until you spot them on the edge of the woods, locked together on their feet, Johnny's face mashed against Simon's neck, strong arms holding him close.

"What's going on?" The question comes out confused when you get close, and Johnny pulls away with wet eyes, hands shaking. What's happening? Why are they both crying? Fear screams through your body, red alert systems firing up as your brain struggles to put all the pieces together.

"Simon-" Johnny begins, but stops abruptly, eyes slamming shut, lips pressed together in agony.

"'m not feelin' too well." Simon explains gently. "You and Johnny are gon’ start on ahead, and 'm gonna stay here for a while." Something, something logical, something smart, is shouting at you from the back of your mind but you shove it away, opting for delusion instead.

"Okay, you're going to catch up though, right? You said. We'll find-" You frowned, looking from him to Johnny as a sick feeling grew in your stomach. "Johnny?"

“Look at me.” Simon combs through your hair with trembling fingers, unsteady for the first time in your entire existence. “I love you, darling. I love you so, so much.”

“S-stop, we're supposed to stay together, you- you said-“

“You have to go with Johnny now, okay? He’s gonna take care of you.” He jerks you forward, closed mouth pressing against your forehead. "I love you."

“No, Si.” You sob, fingers curled in his vest. “You have to come with us. You have to, we’ll fi-find a cure, they’ll be help, somewhere.”

“Johnny.” He chokes, and a strong arm wraps around your waist, Johnny’s heavy, tearful breathing echoing just above your ear. Someone works your fingers free, pulling your hand away but not letting go, holding onto you like a lifeline.

You look up between him, to his face, to Simon’s and realize. They’ve already said goodbye.

Simon strokes the back of his fingers down Johnny’s cheek, tears dripping down his own.

“I love you both, more than anything. More than life.” He squeezes your hand, rubbing a thumb over the back of your knuckles, and then steps away, pulling the handgun from the holster on his thigh. "Take care of each other."

"NO!" you scream, but Johnny is dragging you backwards like a rag doll, away from where Simon stands in clearing, gaze never breaking from the two of you, face wet with tears. "Johnny!"

"Darling-" he chokes out amidst a sob. "Shhh, please. Please." He begs you to be quiet, to hush, but you can't, you can't stop screaming, or fighting him, trying to get back to Simon, to reunite your family, to stay together. You scream and scream until Johnny’s hand claps over your mouth, his own words clogged by his cries, pleading and begging until he's cutting off your oxygen with a desperate apology and lifting you over his shoulder like dead weight.

The last thing you hear before you lose consciousness is the sound of a gunshot.

[nomoreusername]

Insomniac

Pairing:Newt x female reader

Summary:When you find yourself unable to sleep again, Newt helps you in a way only he can.

I would never need to go to hell. It's already inside my own head that seems intent on torturing me. I’m not even exaggerating. Keeping someone from sleeping is actually considered actual torture.

That means I’m both the victim and the abuser.

I don't exactly know what I have. I don't know the reason. I don't even know if there is a reason. Maybe I’m just paranoid about living here. Maybe my brain chemistry is just off balance. Maybe there's just something wrong with me as a person. Maybe it's karma for something I don't remember doing.

It doesn't matter. It's most likely insomnia, but that doesn't mean anything. It doesn't take away the fact that sleeping is essentially impossible for me.

I don't tell anyone. I don't see the point in talking about it. It won't fix it, and unsolicited advice makes me want to scream. Yes. I’ve tried just walking around. I’ve tried exercising a little before bed. I’ve tried drinking lots of water and eating enough. I’ve tried sleeping in warmer clothes. I’ve tried sleeping in lighter clothes. I’ve tried everything there is to try.

Newt knows but not by choice. I was sitting by the fire pit a few months ago in the middle of the night. I had officially given up. He had gotten up to use the bathroom and saw a mysterious shadowy figure. He carefully approached and saw that it was just his sleep deprived girlfriend. He asked me what was wrong, and the exhaustion sent me into full blown tears. He wrapped his arms around me and comforted me. When I could breath again I spilled everything.

He slept with me that night. He laid in my hammock and held me until the sun came up.

After that, he said to wake him if I ever need him again.

I do need him to cuddle me to sleep again. I have needed him for weeks.

I have not asked. I haven't woken him up. Why would I? He’s got his own things going on. He has to help look after the Glade, do his work in the gardens, check up on the Runners, go to Keepers meetings, help out the Greenies, and more. He doesn't need me bothering him.

I was walking around again. I kept going in pointless circles while gritting my teeth in frustration. Resisting the urge to pull my hair, I kept my hands in my pockets. I swear I was going to burst into tears yet again if something didn't work soon.

Dropping to the ground and sitting on a log just like that night, I buried my face in my hands as I took deep breaths. I just want to sleep. All I want is to sleep. That's all. It's so simple and so easy, but I can't do it.

“I thought I’d find you here,”a familiar voice remarked. Too tired to even be caught off guard, I groaned as I stared at the Maze wall. “How long haven't you been sleeping again?”Newt sighed, taking a spot beside me.

“It's fine,”I mumbled.

“Your eyes are getting dark again. It's clearly been a while.”

“Just go get your rest. You need it,”I insisted.

“So do you. Come on, love. Let's get you to sleep,”He said, holding his hand out.

“It’s fine. I won't bother you.”

“You will if I know you're out here torturing yourself for no reason. Why do that when you can climb into my hammock, close your eyes, and doze off in my arms?”

“That does sound nice,”I absentmindedly admitted.

“I know it does so let's go do that,”He said, still holding his hand out. Giving in, I took it and let him pull me up.

The second I did I almost stumbled as that pounding headache came back. Grabbing me before I could fall, he pulled me off of the ground and close to him. Burying my face in his chest, I shut my eyes as he carried me back to the only place that would ever fix my problem.

Sneaking past everyone, he slowly approached his hammock. While still holding me, he climbed in.

As he stretched his legs out I curled up to his side. Resting my head back on his chest, I tucked my legs to my stomach as he wrapped an arm around me.

“I’m always here for you. For anything at all at any time of day or any time of night,”He said gently yet firmly.

“I know. I just don't like bothering you.”

“You're the furthest thing from a bother. Besides, I like sleeping beside you. It means you're safe and is one of the only times we can actually cuddle,”He reassured me.

“I love you more than I could ever say,”I murmured, my eyes fluttering shut.

“I love you the same, but moments like this are more than enough to prove that,”He whispered, kissing my temple. With my breathing evening out, I fell into a genuine, deep sleep for the first time in what may as well be forever, with him whispering sweet nothing's to me the entire time.

[i-thirsty-boi]

700 Follower Special ~ Platonic Yandere Mo'at X Fem Human Reader

~A/N: This idea had been plaguing me while I was trying to sleep, so I decided to tie this in with a follower milestone. I hope you guys enjoy this!

Masterlist

CW: possessive behavior, obssessive behavior, adult fem reader, kidnapping, forced body modification (you'll see), forced proximity

~

-You had been part of the first people going to Pandora to study the things there. You were the youngest person to go there. You had made quick friends with some of the other scientists, like Grace, Norm, and Max. And you also got along well with Jake Sully, though he wasn’t exactly a scientist. 

-You had loved getting to study the plant life on Pandora, though you were a rather small person and the massive size of most of the things on the planet made you nervous. Especially having to be accompanied by the people in avatar bodies. 

-You knew they were there to protect you, but having them standing around you made you kind of scared. You were dwarfed by everything there and you hated it. 

-So, because of that, you tried to stay in the labs as much as you possibly could. And it worked because you didn’t have to take much of a plant to have enough of it to work with for weeks. 

-But, you were running out of your current ones and had to go on the trip outside the labs with everyone. 

So, here you were, one of the only people moving through the forest as a human. You hadn’t thought much when rejecting the offer of an avatar, liking your body and wanting to stay in it no matter how much easier it would be if you were in a navi body. 

You had been in the back of the group, occasionally stopping to gather more samples, when you spotted something you didn’t have a ways off of the path you guys were on. You turned to the group and asked Jake to come with you to get some of the plant that you saw. He agreed and barely remembered to tell the rest of them before following after you. You had walked for longer than you had expected before being able to get some of the plant, Jake standing behind you and looking around. Though, neither of you had noticed the massive six-legged creature coming your way. 

You had just closed your bag with the samples in it when you heard something. Jake heard it too, and both of you slowly turned to look at the predator stalking you. It didn’t take long for it to lunge at you two, making Jake snatch you up into his arms and run away from it. You had been clinging to him while being chased before suddenly feeling weightless, before looking over your shoulder and screaming as you fell down in the air from the cliff Jake jumped off of. You had buried your face in his neck and clung to him as hard as you could, and he wrapped you with his body as you hit the water below you. 

-As you both got to the bank of the lake you landed in, you curled up and coughed up some water as Jake flopped onto his back next to you. As soon as you stopped coughing you slapped his arm and yelled at him. But you immediately apologized afterwards and thanked him for saving you. 

-He accepted your apology before looking around you, trying to find out if he could get you both back to the labs. But, he just stood back up and helped you to your feet before starting to walk away from the lake. 

-As you followed after him you started to hear more concerning sounds around you. You grabbed onto Jake’s pants before more creatures jumped out and surrounded you. You were dragged onto the ground as he fell back against a log next to you. 

-Though out of nowhere, an actual navi came to your rescue and killed them. You were still trembling on the ground as Jake tried to get help from her. 

-You quickly got up and went with them as they walked away from you quickly. You caught up while balancing on a log and peeked around Jake’s leg as you tried asking her to help you make it to the lab yourself. You felt like bursting into tears as she hissed at you. Though Jake put his hand on your shoulder to try and comfort you when he saw your reaction. 

Though before anyone could speak again, you looked up as white things came floating towards you and Jake. He backed up in his confusion, but you were rooted in place, standing still while looking up at them. They came closer to you and eventually landed all over you, one was even right in the middle of your forehead, almost caressing your face. It didn’t take long for them to start drifting away from you, you glanced back and saw the same had happened to Jake. You turned back and saw the woman looking at the two of you with an amazed expression on her face. 

You backed up into Jake as she walked closer to you. You were almost hyperventilating as she tried to touch your face. Luckily, Jake put his hand on her shoulder and said that she was making you nervous, and that you rarely chose to leave the labs. You were very out of your comfort zone and were glad that he was sticking up for you. You went back to being slightly behind him as she said she had to bring you two back to her clan to meet the leaders. You almost teared up hearing that. 

She continued along the log, you two following her. However, you were brought down with Jake again as his ankles were caught in something. And again, he shielded your fall with his own body. You looked up after he landed and actually started crying when seeing multiple navi men on Pandoran horses. You flinched when the woman dropped down next to you and started talking to the apparent leader of the group. She obviously reached a solution because she came back and cut the rope tying Jake’s ankles together. 

-Once he was cut free, she told him that he must follow them to the heart of their clan. You were trembling as you tried to keep up with everyone. 

-She noticed and went back to snatch you up and carry you. You flinched hard when she touched you, letting out a few tears while trying to not look at the rest of the natives in the group. 

-It was embarrassing to be held by her like a child, though you supposed you shouldn’t be surprised with how small you were compared to her. 

-You looked around in wonder as you made it to their home. You wondered if you truly looked like a child to them at that moment. Probably. 

-You quickly made your way to the center of their home, their leader coming down from a tree to stand in front of you. You were set down and quickly went to be beside Jake again, and buried your face in his pant leg, trying to calm yourself down. 

-You were listening to them, the woman and their leader, go back and forth before Jake said something about fathers and stepped away from you. You felt the color leave your face as they were all eyeing you. 

-In the midst of your renewed panic, a woman in a shall came down from the tree as well and silenced the crowd. 

Once she was in front of Jake, she talked to him, in english! You perked up at that and paid attention to her. She asked him some questions, to which he answered. Then she moved to you and crouched in front of you to ask you some as well. 

Your eyes widened in fear as she looked you up and down. She asked you what you were doing there, and you said that you were a scientist, like Grace, and that you just needed more plants to study, so you came into the forest. Then looked down while saying that you ventured to get one and got lost, and that Jake was with you to protect you. When you were done talking, she used her hand to lift your face. 

You looked into her eyes curiously as she asked how you changed her daughter's mind about leaving you, so you told her about the floating white things that covered your body. Then asked what they were. She said they were seeds of eywa, and you just raised your brows at that. Your reaction amused her, apparently, as she dragged you with her as she went back to where Jake, the woman, and the leader were standing. 

-You curled into yourself as she inspected Jake closer, even pricking him with the knife hanging from her head. You prepared for the same to happen to you, but she seemed much more gentle when doing it with you. 

-Once she was done, she addressed the whole clan, telling them that eywa had given her a sign. That the two of you are to learn from them and prove your worth. You teared up at the message, knowing you wouldn’t be back at the lab anytime soon. 

-You tried to go back to Jake, but the older woman grabbed you and brought you up the tree with her. You frantically looked back at Jake, but he was being taken in the other direction by the first woman. 

-You were taken into a hut higher up in the tree, and forced to sit down in front of her. You continued trembling as she grabbed a few bowls and some scraps of fabric over to you. 

-She said that you had to change into different clothes before she put some salves on your injuries. You just nodded before reaching out for the clothes she had. She just set down the bowls before helping you stand up and grabbing at your clothes. 

-You panicked and tried to push away from her, but she just reprimanded you like a child, before taking your clothes off herself. 

-You covered yourself as she untangled the fabrics. And once she saw you covering yourself, she huffed at you before moving your arms and helping you into the top first. It barely covered your chest, making you blush. 

-She looked from the loincloth to you, then went to grab another piece of fabric and sewing it into the back string of the loincloth, then tied it around your waist for you. You were thankful for the extra piece that was now covering your butt. 

-You continued staying still as she grabbed one of the bowls and got some of the salve and rubbed it on your scrapes. Then used a different one for the bruises you had. 

-You quietly thanked her as she put the bowls back in their places. She smiled at you before coming back over and picking you up into her arms. You harshly gasped, but chose to grip her as she walked back down the tree with you. 

As she got back to the ground, you saw Jake making his way back to the other woman and sitting on a log, also wearing navi clothes. You waited for the woman to set you down so you could go sit with him, but she just took you with her to the leader. She sat down on a log next to him, with you settled in her lap, and you curled into yourself. She just patted your hip before asking you for your name. You looked up at her before introducing yourself. She repeated your name back to you with some navi words, and you nodded after she was done. 

She introduced herself and her husband, as well as explaining that they were the leaders of the clan, the olo’eyktan and tsahik. Their names were Mo’at and Eytukan. You just nodded at them before saying that it was nice to meet them. You almost flinched again as he got up and came back with some big leaves. She unwrapped it revealing some food. Meat. 

You just looked at it from behind your mask. You couldn’t smell it, but it did look good. She grabbed a tiny bit of it and brought it up to your face. You just looked at it before looking back at her. She looked almost demanding, so you carefully lifted your mask so she could feed you. As soon as her hand was far enough away from you, you brought your mask back down and sealed it to your face again. 

-You chewed it as she looked down at you. You told her that it tasted amazing as soon as you had swallowed it. You also asked what the other woman’s name was that had helped you. And she told you it was her daughter Neytiri. 

-You just smiled and nodded at her. She took a couple of bites herself before giving another to you. 

-This routine continued until the food was gone. She handed the leaf to her husband before pulling you to lean against her. You tensed as she rubbed your side. 

-You asked if you could go to Jake, which she immediately shut down. You just nodded while looking in his direction. But he was focused on Neytiri. You sighed before relaxing against Mo’at. 

-She hugged you to her as you saw people going into a multitude of hammocks in the trees. Which you had to admit was interesting to see. 

-You yelped when you were abruptly lifted up. Mo’at was looking at you and told you to hold on tight, which you immediately did. She then began climbing up a tree, following her husband, and made her way to a more open and spacious hammock. 

-You nervously looked at him as she laid down with you. Luckily, it wasn’t between the two of them. You just nervously cuddled into her side and slowly went to sleep. 

-Eytukan just asked his mate what she saw in the little sky person. Mo’at said that eywa gave her a sign. That you were like her oldest, alive again. She said she had the chance to protect you, like she couldn’t with her first daughter. Her mate just sighed before putting his arm around her, resting his hand against your side. 

… 

-Jake woke up back in the link pod to Grace in front of him. 

-He excitedly shared where his other body was, and that he would be learning the ways of the people from the olo’eyktan’s daughter. 

-Grace said that it was wonderful, then asked where you were. 

-He just went silent, then said that you were at the same place as him. In the clan’s home. But he wasn’t sure where you went after dinner. Though he did see you with the tsahik. 

-Grace just sighed before putting him back in his wheelchair and pushing him to where dinner for his human self was. But she said he would have to get you back here soon, considering how scared you probably were there. 

-He sheepishly admitted that he forgot about that and told her he would try his hardest to get you back to the labs. 

… 

The morning after, Jake was able to steal you from Mo’at, saying he wanted to get some fruit for you. And that he had missed you last night. 

He grabbed you and your bag and headed off into the forest in the direction he was pointed to. He also pretended to not notice Neytiri following you two. That was until she stopped the two of you to ask where you were going. Jake looked her in the eyes before saying to get some fruit again. 

Neytiri huffed at him before saying that he wouldn’t have your bag if that were the case. He just sighed before holding you tighter and saying that he knew you were terrified in the village, because you had always been scared of things as big as the navi. Plus, Grace made him promise that he would get you back to the labs as soon as possible. 

Neytiri just looked him up and down before moving her gaze onto you, who was hiding in his neck and trembling. She said she could get you there, but wasn’t sure how her mother would think of it, since she clearly likes you. He just barely smiled and said that he was sure she would understand. Neytiri huffed but started to guide them to a big clearing and made a loud noise, which made you flinch. 

In almost no time a massive winged creature touched down near her, and she got on it. She directed Jake to get on behind her so he could guide her to the human building, and bring him back after. He quickly hopped on, still holding you tight. She went up into the air and Jake told her to fly in the direction they came from last night. Following that path, they made it to the labs quickly. Once you saw the building, you hopped off the thing, grabbed your bag from Jake, thanked them, then sprinted to the doors, going inside as quickly as you possibly could. 

Neytiri squinted at you, and Jake huffed before saying that you would probably go to your bed and cry. She looked concerned, but he just said that even being around him in that body made you nervous, so he couldn’t imagine how scared you were while with the rest of the navi. She nodded at him before making her way back to her home. 

-They see Mo’at waiting for them before they even land. She’s immediately on him, asking him where you are. 

-He put his hands up and said that they took you back to the labs, where you wanted to be. He continues talking, saying that you must have been so scared being around so many navi at once. And that things that big had always terrified you. 

-Mo’at’s tail was angrily swishing behind her, and she growled at him after he finished talking. She yelled at him that he shouldn’t have done that. That eywa had given her a sign that you were meant to be with her. That you were like her first daughter. 

-Neytiri was just looking between them with a conflicted expression. She wanted to follow the will of eywa, but she had seen how scared you were. And how relieved you were to be back with the other sky people. 

-She got roped into the lecture with Jake before they were sent off to start training. Mo’at just said that they will be forgiven when they bring you back. 

… 

-Meanwhile, you were back in the lab, getting back into regular clothes after a nice shower. You had eaten a regular meal before crawling into your bed and going right back to sleep. 

-You woke up around lunch time and chose to tell Grace what had happened to you. You told her how uncomfortable it was being treated like a little kid by the tsahik of the clan. 

-Grace just listened to you before comforting you once you were done talking. You melted into her for the entire time she sat with you. 

-But, you eventually went back to your bed to grab your bag and get your samples to bring to your lab station. You had enough of them to not need to go outside for at least a month, maybe two. 

-You happily continued your research, documenting it along the way. You were just happy that you didn’t have to go out of your comfort zone for a while. 

… 

-Things continued that way for the time until your samples ran out. You happily did your experiments. 

-And Jake had been going through tough training everyday, at the orders of Mo’at, until he could bring you back to the clan. He told her it would be a while until you thought of going outside again for more samples. 

-She just said to tell her when you were going out so she could go get you herself, for once thankful that he went back to his human body at night. 

-It took too long, in her opinion, for him to reluctantly tell her that you had run out of samples and would be going outside to get more the next day. 

-She was so relieved that she had brought him into a hug. She absently said that she had to get ready for you, hurrying to her hut to do something. Jake couldn’t help but be concerned for you. 

… 

You had put on a mask and grabbed your bag before going outside for more samples. Making sure to let the others know where you would be going. You carefully made your way down the path, occasionally stopping to grab a part of some of the plants. You would occasionally stop and look around, thinking you heard something and feeling watched. 

You grabbed a plant to fill your final sample container, before hurrying back down the path you came from. You keep thinking you hear something, but brush it off as you jog back towards the labs, getting faster as you go. 

You’re about to break the treeline when one of the winged creatures lands in front of you. You screamed and fell to the ground, crawling away from it. You’re immediately sent into a panic as the navi woman who had babied you hops off of the creature. You just continued backing up as she came towards you. You just breathed heavily as she kneeled in front of you and gently picked you up. She rubbed your back as she got back on the creature and flew away from the labs. 

-It didn’t take you long to make it back to the clan, to your dismay. Once you were in front of the people, you saw the apologetic and guilty look on Jake’s face. You knew what that meant and don't really blame him for whatever he did. You just subtly nodded at him as you were carried into her hut again. 

-Once you were in the hut she put you on your feet and took your regular clothes from you, and didn’t put them in a place to take them back this time. 

-She put you in a navi top again, a new one that fit you better, and a new loincloth as well. They both seemed to be made with you in mind, which made you very nervous. 

-And instead of stopping at just the clothes, she put some accessories on you as well. A necklace, two anklets, and a decorative headband. You just squirmed as she dolled you up. She shushed you as she adjusted everything, smiling at you once she was done. 

-She stepped back to admire you before picking you up again and making her way back down the tree. 

You made it back to the crowd of people, clinging to her the whole time. Once you stopped moving, you lifted your head. She said something in navi to the crowd, and got cheers in return. You were just looking up at the treetops when you saw one of the floating white things coming down to you. As it got closer, everyone else saw it too. And, once again, it landed directly on your forehead, caressing your face, before floating off again. 

The entire clan was in awe from the sight. It was one thing to hear about the signs from eywa, and another to see one with their own eyes. They immediately started cheering again, knowing for sure that Mo'at saying you were her daughter returned was true. You were suddenly held up in the air facing the people, which just made you tense more and widen your eyes. 

-Though it didn’t take long for you to be brought back into her arms again. Cradled like a little kid. You wiggled in her arms as she held you to her chest. 

-She just shushed and cooed at you while staying in front of the clan. Looking to the side as her mate made his way over to her. 

-Eytukan stopped next to her and looked down at the human in his wife’s arms. He looked into her eyes and was starting to see what his wife was talking about. You were cute to him, there was no denying that, but he didn’t feel as strongly about you as his wife.

-Mo’at herself just stroked your back with her free hand, before unconsciously sniffing you. She was displeased that you smelled overwhelmingly like sky person, though figured it couldn’t be helped. She just huffed before telling her husband that she needed to bathe you. 

She stopped by her pod to grab the bathing supplies before heading off to the bathing pool with you still in her arms. Once she got there, she set down the pouch at the edge of the pool before quickly undressing you again. She set you in the pool before undressing herself. She looked at you treading water in the pool and smiled before hopping in herself, but she was able to stand in it. She grabbed the supplies she would need to wash your hair, then turned to see you facing your body away from her. Mo’at huffed before gently grabbing you and pulling you in front of her and beginning to scrub your hair and scalp. She was pleased that you were finally relaxing against her. It didn’t take her long to wash and rinse your hair before she moved on to washing your body. You tried to squirm away from her, but she just held you in place while washing you with her other hand. Even with your whining, she was finished quickly. She brought you out of the water and quickly redressed you before dressing herself. 

-She was very pleased that you no longer smelled like one of the sky people. She had a pep in her step as she made her way back to the clan with you. 

-She arrived again, very pleased with herself. You looked adorable to her, but the mask you needed to breathe bothered her a lot. It made your cute face look nearly unpleasant to her. 

-She told her husband that she would be going to pray to eywa with you, and to let the other healers know to take over while she was gone. 

-And with that, she made her way to the spirit tree with you to consult with eywa about her new daughter needing a mask to live. Hoping that eywa would be able to help her and give you a small blessing. 

-She had finally made it to the tree, and saw the look of awe on your face, which made her smile

-Mo’at made her way to the center of the tree, and placed you down on the ground, firmly telling you to stay in place. She then connected her queue to one of the glowing vines to connect with eywa and make her prayers known. 

-She had been facing a way that she could look at you and saw you laying with wide eyes as tendrils from the ground connected to your body. She continued her prayers and pleads until the tendrils retreated back into the ground. 

-Mo’at quickly went over to kneel next to you and gently removed your mask, keeping it close if you struggled to breathe. But you surprised her by taking a few big gasps of air, before your breathing slowed and you looked confused, because you were breathing fine without your mask. 

-You looked up at her with the most adorable confused look on your face before Mo’at engulfed you in her arms after throwing the mask away from you. In your confusion you ended up clinging to her while softly crying. 

-She was so thankful that eywa had heard her prayers and granted you this ability to live free of that mask. 

She picked you up into her arms again while making her way back to her people for the final time that day. Once she arrived with you, people immediately took notice of the change that had happened. Some of them gathered around her and asked what happened. And Mo’at gladly told them that the great mother had blessed her new daughter with the ability to breathe their air. They all congratulated her before going back to what they were doing. 

She was making her way back to her healing hut when she crossed paths with her daughter and Jake. He looked at you in complete shock, immediately asking what happened with your mask. Mo’at told them that she had prayed to the great mother, and she had given you a blessing that rid you of the need for the mask. You sighed into her neck, since you had defeatedly cuddled into her side since you had left the tree. Jake had wide eyes, and had put a hand over his mouth in the shock of the news. Neytiri was just smiling before going over and rubbing her new sister’s side, giving her congratulations. 

She then noticed the atmosphere between you and Jake and grabbed him to talk to him separately to not ruin her mother’s good mood. She was happy that her mother was happy, and that she could have a sister again. But she had to know why Jake was so upset about it first. 

-Once they had made it a bit away into the forest before she turned and asked him why he had reacted like that. 

-Jake just sighed, putting his hands behind his head and tipping it back. He said that he knew you would have never wanted this. You were content to be in the labs here, working with the plants. You were scared of almost everything outside of the labs, and now you most likely couldn’t go back without it majorly affecting you. 

-He saw the defeat in your eyes and knew that it was, a good bit, his fault. And he felt so guilty for doing that to you. 

-Neytiri was, again, torn. She now knew how much you didn’t want to be here, but also knew it was the will of eywa for you to be here. She sighed before pacing in front of Jake. 

-She told him that understood his pain a little bit, but also insisted that eywa worked to maintain the balance of life there. And you being here was a part of that balance. But, she could make sure that you got some time to yourself every once in a while, with the excuse of sibling bonding. 

-Jake looked in her eyes, before nodding. He told her that he wasn’t upset at anyone but himself. And that he was very thankful for her suggestion. 

-She smiled before saying that they should go and spend some time with you. 

-He just barely smiled before taking her hand and walking back to the village with her. 

They made it back quickly and went to Mo’at’s healing tent to go see you. You were sitting on the floor while Mo’at was mixing more salves and balms. You looked up at them as they walked in, still looking very disinterested in what was happening around you. Neytiri greeted her mother before going to sit next to you. Jake said hello to Mo’at before going to sit on your other side. You had curled into yourself as they settled next to you, not wanting any of them that close to you. 

Neytiri had raised her head and asked her mother when they could have some sister bonding time, to get to know each other. Mo’at looked up at her oldest daughter while thinking. She said that since she had work to do before dinner, you could go with them until then. She received two nods before you were picked up by your new ‘sister’ and brought out into the forest with her and Jake. 

-You weren’t even holding onto Neytiri as you were carried, just limply laying against her. And Jake was just watching you with such guilt in his eyes. 

-You all quickly made it to a clearing next to a river, and were set down in the middle of it. You immediately laid down where you were set and touched all of the plants around you. 

-Jake sat down next to you and watched you play with the plants. He was amused by your love of plants coming out in a low point of life for you. 

-He broke the silence by saying he was sorry. He said that he wouldn’t have told Mo’at what she asked of him if he knew that this would be the result. And that he felt so guilty for it. 

-You looked over at him and told him that you didn’t blame him at all. You understood why he did it. And that you forgave him, so he shouldn’t be feeling guilty for complying with someone higher up than him. 

-He let out a big breath and flopped down beside you before pulling you into the crook of his arm and ruffling your hair. 

-You slapped his arm while laughing. He was chuckling with you, having so much weight come off of his shoulders after hearing what you said. He was glad that he could goof around with you like he did in the labs. 

-Neytiri was watching the moment between you two with a smile on her face. It was nice seeing you not be tense for once. 

She cautiously made her way over to you two, and crouched in front of you guys. She didn’t try to touch you, but formally introduced herself to you. She looked to the side while saying you didn’t have to see her as your older sister, but she knew you needed time away from the clan to relax. It had been explained to her your fear of large things like navi, and she thought you would appreciate this time away from everything. 

You looked over at her before hesitantly reaching over and patting her arm. Telling her that you appreciate her effort. She smiled at you and fully sat down beside you. You sat up again and reached out to touch the plant sitting in front of you, inspecting it. 

Jake made a comment about ‘you and your plants’ before laying down next to you. Neytiri looked between you two before asking what that meant. You were more willing to talk, and explained your love of, and research of, plants. She smiled before saying that her mother and the other healers knew almost everything about all of the plants and their properties. You shrugged before getting up and walking around the clearing to see all of the different plants. 

-You did that for a long while before going over to the bank of the river, sitting and dipping your feet in the water. 

-Jake looked over at you sitting there, before getting up, running, and jumping into the water right in front of you. You gasped because of getting splashed, yelling at him when he surfaced, even if he was just laughing. 

-Neytiri was, once again, smiling at you two getting along, before she also ran and jumped into the river. Jake cheered when she resurfaced, with you giggling along. She just smiled before having fun in the river with the two of you. 

-Once she realized it was about time for dinner to happen, she guided you guys back to the clan. Though she stopped before you would be seen by anyone and told you her mother would want her to be carrying you to show how you’ve bonded. 

-You sighed before saying it was okay and reaching up to her. You even wrapped your arms around her neck once she got you settled. 

-And Mo’at was so happy to see both of her daughters getting along so well. She had such a big smile while walking up to the group of you. And once she made it to you, she put a hand on each one of your cheeks and kissed the ones she wasn’t holding. 

-Neytiri had a big smile on her face, while you only just barely smiled. 

-Mo’at then led all of you over to the log that her and her husband would be eating, wanting to be with family, with the arrival of a new family member. She even let Jake tag along. 

Pretty much as soon as you made it over to the log, Eytukan came over with enough food leaves for everyone there. He gave one to everyone there before sitting next to his wife. His daughter, the dreamwalker, and the little human were sitting on the ground in front of him and his wife. And he was happy to see all of them talking with each other while eating, and looking at his wife told him she felt the same way. 

Mo’at was smiling while watching her daughters get along so well, relieved that giving them some time to themselves granted them the bond that she got to witness. 

-The meal went well, with everyone helping clean up before making their way to go to sleep. 

-Neytiri and Jake go to the individual hammocks, and Mo’at goes to her and her husband’s hammock with you in tow. This time putting you in the middle of the three of you. You took a while to fall asleep, but ultimately slept well and deeply. 

…

-Jake woke up in the link pod to Grace in front of him once again. 

-She asked him where you were, and he just sighed and put his head in his hands before telling Grace everything that he knew. 

-She sighed with him before putting him in his wheelchair and took him to have some food. 

-She sat with him while he ate, asking him more questions along the way. 

-She was just shocked at what happened to you, along with being sad from hearing Jake’s description of the defeat on your face. 

-She and Jake went to sleep frustrated and defeated. 

… 

-The next morning, you were at breakfast with everyone again. Actually being relaxed with the navi you had gotten used to. 

-Afterwards, you went to the healing tent with Mo’at, and were given a lesson on the navi language. 

-And you had picked it up surprisingly fast, which made Mo’at very proud of you. She hugged you once you were done and peppered your face with kisses. You even laughed when she did it. 

-You still didn’t quite feel comfortable around her, but she was a sweet woman, and you knew she was still grieving her first daughter. You were just very unsure of being the replacement. 

-However, you could get used to all of the positive attention, even from a species that scared you. 

It didn’t take long for the clan’s lunchtime to roll around, and you were once again carried down the tree like a toddler. You faced her shoulder, once again feeling embarrassed to be carried like a child when you were technically an adult. Though you also hadn’t told them how old you were yet. You just figured they would ignore you anyway. 

You made it to the log that Eytukan and the man who argued with Neytiri were sitting on. And as Mo’at sat down with you in her lap, Jake and Neytiri came from the forest and immediately made their way over to you four. You perked up when seeing them, from your spot relaxing against Mo’at. They quickly made it over to you, and Neytiri kissed the top of your head before sitting on the ground in front of you, and Jake ruffled your hair. You scoffed and slapped at him while he smiled and sat down next to Neytiri. 

Eytukan and the other man got up to go get food for everyone, and you started asking the two in front of you what they did that morning. They told you all about the training they did, and before you knew it the other two men were making their way back over to the group with enough leaves of food for everybody. One being noticeably smaller than the rest. Once they rejoined the group you reached out for your leaf, saying a ‘thank you’ after it was handed to you. 

Once everyone was settled, the leaves were opened and all of you started eating. Though you and the other man were side-eyeing each other the whole time. You with apprehension, and him with curious disdain. Neither of you liked each other, but also didn’t even know each other’s names. Neytiri had noticed the looks exchanged, and took the initiative to introduce you to ‘Tsu’tey’. You looked him up and down before telling him it was nice to officially meet him, and he said the same to you. 

The rest of the meal continued without fanfare, and you were sent with the other young people to do more language lessons before dinner. You had hopped onto Jake’s back, given a piggyback ride into the forest to make it back to the clearing from before. You were set down and immediately walked around to the plants you didn’t get to see the day before. 

-Jake and Neytiri were smiling at you while sitting in the middle of the clearing. And Tsu’tey was still eyeing you suspiciously. 

-You had turned and asked Neytiri what the name of the plant was. She took a peek at the plant and explained all she knew about the plant to you. 

-Tsu’tey looked between them before Jake noticed and explained your role in the labs, stemming from your love of plants. He just nodded while leaning back on his arms and looking over at you. 

-You finally made your way back over to the group and sat in a spot that would complete the circle. Then you went over more of the navi language until you got bored. 

-Jake agreed with you, so he reached over and took off the accessories you had on, which made you narrow your eyes at him. Even if you didn’t stop him. 

-You started protesting when he threw you over his shoulder and started walking towards the river. It was worse because you could hear Neytiri giggling behind you. 

-Jake got to the edge of the river, taking you off of his shoulder and dangling you above the water, with you clinging to him the whole time. Meanwhile, he just smirked before bringing you closer… and then throwing you into the river. 

-You were shouting at him as soon as you surfaced, just hearing his chuckling before getting splashed in the face. And you just knew that that idiot had jumped in too. 

-You shrieked when he grabbed your ankle on his way back up to the surface of the water. But you couldn’t help but laugh with him while treading water in front of him. 

-You had faintly heard feet hitting the ground before another splash hit the back of your head, Neytiri popping back up behind you. At this point, you were having such a good time with these simple pleasures of life. 

-You stopped laughing, then saw Tsu’tey perched on the bank of the river looking at you guys. You rolled your eyes before diving under the water and swimming towards him. When you were right in front of him, you perched your feet on a root under the water and used it to launch yourself out of the water. Using your momentum to grab onto his arm and drag him with you back into the water. 

-You laughed at his scowled, aimed at you, when he got back above the water. Neytiri and Jake watching with wide eyes before starting to laugh with you. Tsu’tey eventually huffed before relaxing his mouth into something resembling a smirk. Then he splashed you. 

-You gasped before splashing him back. The other two exchange a look before joining in, creating an all out war between you four. 

-It didn’t take long for you to get tired and go sit on the bank, watching the other three continue swimming around while relaxing against the ground. And it didn’t take you long to fall asleep, laying against the soft moss with your feet in the cool water. 

None of the three still in the water noticed Mo’at making her way into the clearing, having gone there after she had finished her duties for the day. And what she saw had warmed her heart. She crouched in the middle of the clearing, seeing all four of you’s accessories laying on the ground, with the three navi playing around in the river, and you laying on the edge of it. She quietly got closer, seeing you asleep while the other three still swam and splashed around. 

She just smiled more before going and retrieving your things, before going over and gently picking you up. She cradled you in her arms before standing up, finally gaining the attention of the other three, before waving and walking off with you. She looked down at your peaceful face as she made her way back to the village, kissing your forehead as she basked in the warmth enveloping her heart. 

~

(To be continued…)

[overtail]

'You're not helping." - Sokka x GN!Reader

🪃🌑

Summary - (Y/N) has always struggled with their bending prowess, never having anyone to teach them. After being given some advice by Aang, they still can't seem to focus on controlling the earth nearby. Even though he doesn't know what it's like, Sokka still tries to help.

Contains - Fluff, Flirting, Joking, Sarcasm, and silly fun.

Reader Info - Earthbender, new member of the Gaang, quiet, sarcastic, and VERY ambitious.

TW - None!!

No use of (Y/N)

'Breath.'

𝘉𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩.

'You have to focus on what's in front of you. What it is you want to comtrol.'

𝘍𝘰𝘤𝘶𝘴. 𝘐𝘯 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

They dragged their back foot through the dirt. The crunching sound of rocks against their shoe helped them connect with the world beneath them. They could feel it, the buzzing in their chest, mind, 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭. They closed their eyes, shakily letting out a breath.

Breath. Focus.

Shifting forward, they stepped with their movement. The dirt below them began to rise, shaking vigorously as it slowly moved upwards. Their eyelashes fluttered as their eyelids twitched. The rocks stopped in place for a moment as their calmness weakened but resumed to it's upwards movement as they took another breath. They let out a low growl before abruptly opening their eyes and throwing their hands forward. They yelled as they did so, trying to hit the target - which happened to be a large rock -- in front of them. Instead of it breaking into a million pieces with the power and force of a true bender, little pebbles bounced off of it, and dirt coated the side.

"God!" They yelled, turning away from the embarrassing sight. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" The peace was gone, and the only thing they felt was rage. True, pure, rage. "Why do I even try anymore?!" They stomped over to a log that sat only a few feet away. Their brows were knitted together, and they were practically fuming with anger. They would fit perfectly in the fire nation.

Sitting down with a 'thump!', they groaned, muttering a few curses under their breath. The one thing in their life that they've been waiting to master is being practically thrown out of the window because they don't know how to properly seize the opportunity.

They thought to themself, why even try? They won't ever be as skilled at Aang; hell, even Katara! Sokka could even find a way to be a better bender than them. They moaned, letting their head go limp and fall in between the space between their legs. They had only started their travels with the group a month ago, but they still wanted to fit in. Aang was the only chance they had of learning to be a powerful bender, and they were failing.

There was the sound of footsteps and gravel crunching behind them, but they didn't even bother to look up. It would be Aang, who was secretly watching from the bushes, coming to give them advice, again. The space on the log beside them pressed flat against the ground, lifting them up slightly.

"How's it going?" It wasn't Aang, obviously. The voice was more mature, more quiet, more calming. "I hope it's better than what I can see."

"Hello to you too, Sokka." They could recognize that sarcastic tone from a mile away, not like they minded it. Their was something comforting about how ruthless he was when it came to making jokes and poking fun. "Clearly, it's horrible. Can't even make a dust bunny!" They said with a groan. Sokka laughed, shoving their shoulder lightly.

"As expected, you really do suck." Sokka retorted back, smiling down at them. He couldn't see their face, but a grim look was spread across it. They felt like they would burst with tears any second, begin crying at how much wasted potential they had. They let out a small sniffle, a single tear running down their flushed cheeks. Sokka's eyes widened at this, quickly leaning his head towards them to check up on them. "Woah woah, I was just kidding! You're not that bad!"

Sokka wasn't the best at comforting, a trait inherited by his dad. Sokka never really accepted, but mainly deflected his and other people's feelings.

More hot tears began to fall from. their eyes and onto the dirt below them. They were full-on crying now, letting out small whimpers. They felt like such an emotional wreck.

"Hey - urm," Sokka looked around, maybe to find Aang or Katara to help, but they were nowhere nearby. It was just him and a crying person. "It'll be fine, Katara used to suck, and look where she is now!"

The person blow him looked up, eyes red with tears. "Y-you think I suck?" Their voice was shaky, and their nose sounded like it was filled with snot from crying.

"No, no! You're good for a-- uhm-- a starter?" Sokka didn't really know what to say or how to say it.

"I've been practicing for years!" The other was crying even harder now, and Sokka felt bad. He actually felt bad.

Sokka wrapped an arm around them, bringing them close to his chest. "Well -- I'm gonna shut up."

They leaned into his chest, shakily grabbing onto his coat with their hands. His face flushed red at the physical touch, looking up at the trees and trying not to focus on the feeling. "Yeah, you're r-really bad at this." They let out an airy laugh, which made Sokka even more flustered. Sokka just smiled, fully pulling them into a hug.

...

EXTRA!

"Are you sick, Sokka? You're awfully hot." Katara placed a hand on his forhead, looking at him curiously as he stood outside the earthbenders tent. He grabbed her wrist lightly, taking it off his face.

He stopped back, taking a quick glance at Aang, who was smirking viciously. "I'm fine." He was still red from the previous events.

"You suuuuuuure?" Aang wiggled his brows, and Sokka kicked him in the shin.

[leeknow-thoughts]

could we get a longer piss kink drabble w jeongin >_< 🤭🤭🤭

MAY I DO FEM JEONGIN ?!?!? BC I HAVE SOME INAPPROPRIATE THINGS I WANT HER TO DO TO ME HEHE

GOLDEN HOUR

TW(s) : pee duh, fem!reader, fem!jeongin, cunnilingus, petnames, dom!jeongin, sub!reader

You were exhausted from hiking, but by gosh you were going to keep going, you had to. Your girlfriend just wanted to hike a few more minutes and then she swore you both could go back to camp. You obliged, you knew how much she loved hiking after all. But you couldn't stop the ache in your stomach that had been there for almost ten minutes.

You had to pee, and you had to soon. "Jeongin can we please just go back to camp!" you plead with the girl in front of you.

"Please just ten more minutes! Then we can turn back!" she whines.

"Please I have to pee!" you exclaim.

"You coulda just said that! I'd stop and let you pee behind a bush!" she huffs, turning around to face you.

Her long hair was put up in a messy bun, she had no makeup on, she looked so beautiful like this. "I'm not peeing behind a bush," you huff.

"Fine lets keep going down the trail there has to be a bathroom somewhere," she figures.

You both keep walking forward, moving under an area covered by trees. The sunlight poking through the leaves. Not another person in sight. "It's so pretty here," you can hear the smile behind Jeongin's voice.

You hum in agreement. "There's no one around," she points out, turning around to face you again, a devilish smirk on her face.

She closes the space between the two of you, her hands holding your jaw as she kisses you deeply. Your own hands roam around her face, holding her head in your hands. "Innie we shouldn't, what if we get caught," you mumble between kisses.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" she smirks, pulling you back in for another deep kiss, "you.... wanna... be seen hmm.... want everyone to watch..." she mumbles between kisses.

The pressure in your bladder becomes stronger when Jeongin presses her leg in between yours. "Jeongin I still have to pee," you whine when she moves to mark your neck.

"I know baby," she coos, "here let me take your pants off yeah?"

She shimmies your pants down, helping you step out of them and tossing them to the side. You feel her hand cup your clothed cunt. "Atta girl, so wet hmm just from a bit of kissing," she chuckles, standing up straight so she is looking you in the eyes.

She moves your panties to the side and her long fingers slide up and down your folds. You buck forward when her fingers start rubbing your clit just right. Your eyes snap shut, lips falling into an 'O' shape. "Aww you like that don't you," she coos, kissing the top of your head.

The feeling of fullness in your bladder just keeps getting worse and worse, you feel as if you're gonna burst. "I have to pee!" you squeal.

"Yeah?" she coos, "c'mere."

She removes her hand, she pulls you to a cut down log and makes you put your right leg up. Your pussy on display, "go on pretty girl," she urges you.

"But- but my panties," you whimper.

She rolls her eyes, slightly annoyed, her hand comes down, pulling your panties to the side. "C'mon baby, think of how good it'll feel," she urges you.

"C-can't!" you squeal, embarrassed, "too embarrassing!"

You feel tears brimming your lash line. Before you can say anything else her free hand is between your legs, rubbing your swollen clit ever so gently.

And that is all it takes, you immediately let go.

You watch the golden liquid come out of you as Jeongin groans beside you. "There you go, let go just like that," Jeongin praises.

She keeps rubbing your clit as you pee, you snap your eyes closed, enjoying the intense feeling of relief. You whine and Jeongin shuts you up with her lips on yours.

You feel the stream end, you slowly open your eyes to see Jeongin looking down at you, her eyes full of lust. Without another word, Jeongin pulls your propped leg down, moving you to the center of the trail, before she gets on her knees.

She is eye level with your pussy. She keeps her eyes on your face when she attaches her sweet lips to your puffy clit. Your hips buck into her mouth as she does such, a small whine leaves your mouth too.

Her lips stay focused on your clit, knowing it brings you close fastest.

She alternates between long drawn-out licks to short kitten licks on your puffy bud. Your hands move into her hair, tugging lightly. The knot in your belly growing and growing until it snaps with a whimper leaving your lips.

"There you go sweet girl, cum on my tongue," she mumbles against your skin, licking up your cum with her tongue.

Fuck, you'd have to go camping with her more often.

[alrxiin]

so... thanks for the idea @mokozroach , now that I'm done with my winter break, I have done it :3

(not proofread)

TW's : 'Cheating', fighting, mentions of character getting hurt, character death, su!cid3 mention.

Sam x Darlin' (GN reader) | angst

•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈

"I'm Losing Hope In Our Lives Apart."

•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈

A week. It's been a week since the death of William, other Vamps speculate the cause was Demon Blood, but even after such long time there's nothing sure.

The death hit Sam hard, to say the least, especially after the Summit and the other murders... but Darlin' has been next to him every day, making sure he was fine and taking care of himself.

This day was different though, Sam had told them he's going on a walk, which isn't actually that unusual for him. What was unusual, is that when they went out to get him – since they had made food and didn't really like eating alone anymore – he wasn't in his usual spots that he would end the walk in.

Not in the small spot where tree's didn't grow and made a perfect place to watch the stars.

Not anywhere near the hills he would sit on and watch Dahlias lights shine at night.

Nowhere. He seemingly was nowhere.

Worried for their mate, they made sure the house door was locked before heading out to look for Samuel carefully sniffing around to catch his scent – which was fairly easy considering the time they had spent with him.

2 years, they have been together for 2 years, and they could recognize his scent anywhere.

Following his trail, they stumbled through the woods mindlessly, going into Vamp territory just like the first time they had met when they were after Quinn.

Close, they felt him so close now, looking around through the trees, and finally they saw a blonde tuft of hair.

Relief washes over them and they quicken their pace, going around the trees to him, only for shock to go through their body when they do.

There he was, Samuel Collins, sitting on a fallen tree, and on his lap, Alexis. A nightmare come true.

Since the very first time Sam has told them about her, they hated her for what she has done, and – to a point – feared that she would weasel her way into their lives. Exactly like she had now, and it took every ounce of self respect they have not to burst into tears, but it had brought them into being violent yet again.

Hitting something that would definitely hit back.

Walking out and up to them, hands balled up into fists, they spoke up finally.

- "You absolute bitch..." —

- "Alexis?.." — Sam's voice came through weakly, like he was disassociated, the hold Alexis has on him still strong.

- "What did you just call me?" — She scoffed, getting off of him to face them, irritation showing on her face.

- "I called you a bitch. What are you, deaf?" — And with that, she lunged at them.

They knew they stood almost no chance against her, they found that out so many times before while fighting off Vamp after Vamp, she overpowered them with ease. Yet they had no intention of stopping, putting up a fight like they had always done before.

Every bit of emotion getting out of them as they fought, taking hit after hit from the woman, and striking back when they had the chance, taking it as far as turning to try and get their chances up.

They knew that Sam wouldn't do something like this on his own, that she had to do something to get him to be with her.

They hated it so much.

Lost in thought, so many emotions going through their head – betrayal, anger, confusion, whatever the hell else there is – and before they knew it, Alexis struck again, landing a final blow.

They gasped, finally conscious yet again, and instead of giving her the satisfaction of looking at her, they instead looked at Samuel.

It's like something snapped in him, the invoking she had done going loose, and he was looking back at them again.

- "Wait... no." — His voice quivred, and he got up from the log, quickly jumping into action and running up to them as they fell back, already too dizzy to stay up.

- "Darlin'!.. shit, please don't do this!.." — He took their hand, shaking ever so slightly as he panicked. His powers had weakened from the sort of trance she had put on him, and he would have no way of healing the damage Alexis had done, not like this.

And in the end, it was too late, and Darlin' layed limp on the ground..hand so cold in his.

- "Awhh... poor little puppy. All bark, and yet, no bite." — She put on a pity face, only a giggle escaping from her as she stepped closer, putting a hand on Samuel's shoulder.. only to have it pushed off in a hurry, with anger on his face and tears in his eyes, he gazed up at her.

- "Why, why do you always do this?! Why do you always take everything I have away from me?.." — His voice broke at the end, unable to maintain the threatening tone, as a sob ripped through him.

- "Oh Sammy... you must realize they were a downgrade from me, do you not?" — Her voice, terrifyingly calm and collected. She put a hand under his chin, lifting it up to face her properly, with a touch so gentle...

- "They were just a lost puppy, that turned everyone away and clinged to the first person that showed a little care. But now, you don't have to worry.. you know well that we're a gorgeous match." — The smile, meant to pull him in, only made him come to his senses.

Sam pulled his face away, and his eyes turned a copper red in anger and disgust.

- "I would rather die, than be with someone like you, Alexis." — His voice came out muffled, gritting his teeth to try and keep his composure.

The woman, was left in a form of shock and he took that chance, picking up his mates limp and pale body into his arms, before speeding away back to their house.

•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈

Not even a week later, the Shaw Pack got worried from the lack of contact from Sam, knowing how heartbreaking it is to lose someone – a lover nonetheless – so tragically, without even as little as a goodbye. And it wasn't until Vincent had called, that they had gotten the news...

"Samuel took his life." — was what he said.

He couldn't have gone on without them, without the only true spark of light in his nocturnal life that he had.

He had no one.

And now, he hoped he would see them again in their next life... Together, in every universe, every form. Forever.

[sarahisslytherin]

•❣•୨୧ 𝙩𝙤𝙩𝙖𝙡 𝙚𝙘𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 ୨୧•❣•

vincent renzi x reader

summary: vincent comes over to watch the eclipse and a secret gets out.

contains: fluffy fluff.

a/n: not me writing a fic about some random pathetic white middle-aged french man just cos of one movie what.

word count: 0.7k

The snow falls softly upon your little impromptu bonfire. There’s going to be a solar eclipse tonight, so you thought you’d make a night of it. You fished two beer bottles out of the fridge and invited Vincent to join you. He’d been a good friend to you for years, though you couldn’t help but harbor a small crush on him; it was harmless, really. So maybe you felt butterflies’ wings flutter in your stomach when he smiled, felt your cheeks heat up at the slightest touch. Maybe you’d spent many late nights drunk on wine and on him, philosophizing about the most asinine of topics deep into the early morning. Tonight will be one of those nights. 

“What a fine establishment!” Vincent chuckles, unintentionally startling you. “I’m sorry, did I scare you?” His feet fall silently upon the thick coat of snow beneath you, leaving a trail from the cabin up to the bonfire. He’s carrying a mug of hot chocolate in each hand (you quickly ran out of beer), the steam visibly wafting up into the winter air.

“Only a little.” you admit sheepishly. He smirks, and your heart melts in spite of the biting cold engulfing you. Vincent’s gentle gaze lingers a moment before finally turning toward the fire, which he bends down to throw another log on. His silver hair seems white from the snowflakes gathering atop it, something like an angel. You take a seat on a nearby log, sipping on your hot chocolate. 

“Why so quiet tonight?” he asks as he sits at your side.

“I’m not being quiet.” you frown defensively.

“Non, pas du tout.” he tuts: No, not at all. “You’ve barely spoken since I arrived. Have I done something wrong?” 

“No, Vincent.” you insist, try forcing a laugh and hope he doesn’t notice. “I promise you I’m fine.” You hadn’t noticed until he mentioned it but he’s right. Tonight feels different. Perhaps it’s because of the eclipse, perhaps it’s not. You’re not quite sure what to think and then you’re not even sure you recall how to think when Vincent begins absentmindedly tracing his fingers across your back; his own quiet way of comforting you. You watch as he lights up a cigarette and takes a drag, cheeks hollowing out with the inhale and smoke puffing out with the exhale. 

“That’s gonna end up killing you one day, you know.” you sigh at him, shooting his cigarette a nasty look.

“Hopefully you’ll have told me what’s going on with you before that.” he retorts, a cynical brow arched as he takes another drag. “Come on, now.”

“Why are you pushing this?” you stand, suddenly defensive. Vincent stubs his cigarette, his undivided attention all for you. 

“Because you’re my friend and I care for you.” he says as if it were a universal truth known across the globe and accepted as an irrefutable fact. 

“That’s just the problem, Vincent!” you burst, tears threatening to brim in your eyes as you look down to where he sits by the fire. “I’m your friend! I’ll only ever be your friend!”

Vincent stands now, puzzled eyes now widening with realization. “What are you saying?”

“What do you think, Vincent?” you ask, the sarcasm practically dripping off your tongue. “I’m tired of being just a friend. I can’t take it anymore!”

“Don’t be ‘just my friend’.” he says, desperation catching in his throat. “Be something more.”

“What?” you stand as if frozen to the snow, stunned. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I’ve loved you since the day we met!” he admits, the sound of his voice like a tree falling in the woods. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say it back.”

He strides his way towards you, his hand cupping your rosy cheek. “Je t’aime.” His lips press against yours softly, growing in intensity with each passing second. You pull away a moment, look into his sweet eyes and finally say it back to him. “I love you too, Vincent.” The kiss resumes, and your breath is taken away all over again. It’s as if the world has shifted, gone silent; you feel your sight go black. Vincent must feel it too, because he pulls away and looks around only to find that the world has indeed gone black.

“Vincent, the eclipse!” you squeal, pulling him close. “It’s so beautiful.”

You don’t really notice it, but when Vincent recounts the story you learn he was looking at you when he replied. “Oui, beautiful.”

[sapphirerogers]

Back Rubs

Steve Rogers x female!reader

Warnings: talk of periods, specifically cramps, fluff, slight dirty talk, no smut.

The mattress dipped behind you, and one strong arm wrapped around you from behind. A hand brushed your hair away from your neck before you felt a warm breath on your shoulder.

You sighed, lazy smile on your lips. "Baby, not tonight. Please."

Steve gently tilted your face towards him, blue eyes full of adoration and understanding. "Okay," he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. The two of you shifted your positions so that you were on top of him now, your head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.

You reached out to touch his hand, and he responded by lacing your fingers with his. His other hand constantly brushed up and down your back. You tried to relax, you really did, but the nagging ache in your lower back was proving to be too much. You had taken painkillers, but they did little to ease the discomfort.

"Steve," you said quietly, "are you good at back rubs?"

He frowned a little at the seemingly odd question. "Yeah. Why, you need one?"

You laughed, slightly embarrassed. "I could use one. The cramps are terrible. I don't know if it will help but..." you didn't even get to finish the sentence before Steve jumped into action, making sure you were comfortable lying on your stomach and asking you where it hurt.

He proved to be efficient at it - knuckles and finger tips moving in smooth circles and easing the muscles in your body. You heaved a sigh of relief.

"Feel better?" he chuckled without stopping.

"Oh, much better. I haven't felt this great in ages." You turned slightly to look up at him. "I think that'll do," you said after a while, pressing a quick kiss to his lips as he settled back into his previous position and secured you against himself.

"Thank you," you murmured into his chest, then looked up at him, "I love you."

"I love you so much more, sweetheart. I'm happy to help." Another sweet peck to your hairline.

You reached a hand up to his cheek, feeling the slight scratch of his stubble under your fingers. "You haven't shaved in a few days."

"I know," he sighed, absentmindedly rubbing his jawline.

"You could try growing it out."

"I'm sort of obliged to shave. I have an image to keep up," he told you ruefully, "but maybe on our next vacation..."

"Yeah, no, I'm not saying right away, but I am imagining it..." you trailed off.

"And what do you see?" he teased.

You scrunch up your nose in thought. "I see...a very handsome...lumberjack?" you giggled.

"Lumberjack, hmm?"

"You'd make a good one. Look at you. Splitting logs and pussies since the 1940s."

He cocked his head towards you so sharply you almost thought you'd overstepped with that joke. But then he burst out laughing, clutching his stomach as he tried to recover. You found tears streaming down your own cheeks as you hid your face in his chest. "That was so terrible. I don't even know where that came from."

Still shaking his head in amusement he rolled over, trapping you under him. "Well, I don't know about wooden logs so far, but..." he winked, his lips melting into yours.

***

I haven't written in ages good lord-

Shoutout to my girls @breethebee7 and @mainly-marvel for inspiring and helping me write this.

Thank god I was in pain yesterday because it sparked the conversation with Bree that gave me this idea.

Constructive criticism is well appreciated ❤️

@royalwriteroftheuniverse @nana1000night @jamneuromain @sarahrogersevans @peace-love-fanfiction @nekoannie-chan @hawkeyes-queen @georgiapeach30513 @imaginedreamwrite @slut-for-chrisevans @heli0s-writes

[neverchecking]

hello! would it be possible to request yandere sage to a reader who got split from the chain but has a switch with them?

I adore your headcanons for him and I honestly would just love to see some more of him, perhaps he's trying to figure out if they're yiga or not since y'know only they see him as link without zelda and they just show it off reluctantly?

SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE SAGE-YOU ABSOLUTELY FUCKING CAN.

Ahem. Yes, you very much can request my precious baby boy.

For those of you who don't know, Sage is the Hero of the Zonai, A.K.A. The Link from Tears of the Kingdom-- if we go down the route that he's a different guy from Wild. So TotK spoilers.

Anyway, look whose got his own banner! SAGE DOES-

CW: Talk of death, but nothing happens (Bc Sage won't let it happen)

He was very...unsure of you, to put it lightly.

Which was rare in and of itself since he knew most things. He knew how the Gloom hands would react should he hit them with a Dazzlefruit. He knew the exact force he would have to throw a splash fruit for it to burst in a splash of water. He knew the exact amount of force required to bend a Yiga's arm before it snaps a lot.

But he didn't know anything about you. Which put him on edge.

You came out of this weird...void thingy that he had never seen before and you dressed weirdly. You had began to call out desperately for names the second you had collected yourself (He had no clue who Wild or Twilight or Wind were, but whoever named those poor fools needed to be fired. Those names were awful.) . He watched you stumble like a newborn fawn, full of naive innocence and blind trust in the world around you.

What a fool you were.

Still, he couldn't look away. He didn't move from his place perched in a particularly tall tree, but he didn't let his attention wander from you. He couldn't. It was like you were...magnetic, drawing him in to your orbit just to keep him there.

Somewhere above him, the light dragon let out a warble. His ears flickered in that general direction, but otherwise he paid it no mind, clicking the claws on Rauru's hand against the bark of the tree.

You seemed so hopelessly lost, wandering about. It certainly didn't seem like you were the traveling type, so why you were out here, he had no idea. You would killed before long. He wondered how you would die. Something fast and quick? An electric arrow from a Lizalfos? (They had been getting unexplainably stronger now that he thought about it.) Maybe one swift hit from a Horriblin? Or maybe it would be something long and drawn out. Maybe a Frost Gleeok would freeze you so badly Hypothermia took over your limbs before freezing your lungs. Or maybe a Fire Gleeok would roast you alive before you even had the chance to register they were there. Perhaps the King himself would do both before shocking your battered form to hell and back. Or maybe the Gloom hands would grab at your flailing arms and legs, holding you still while they drained the life force right out of you.

Something full of anger lit up in his gut at just the thought of you getting hurt. He had no reason to get so livid at even a scratch on your form, but for some reason it had him snarling to himself, as if daring the universe to test him.

He wouldn't put it past Hylia at this point, that vengeful bitch.

It seemed she took his challenge to heart anyway, just as you slipped out some strange device about the same size as his Purah pad. You were so immersed in the damned thing that you didn't even hear one of the trees moving around behind you. Which was beyond him since they weren't quiet.

You didn't even look up until the shadow was looming over you and he was jumping from his tree. Riju's power sparked to life as he pulled out his bow, stunning the tree with enough power it fell with a pull of purple smoke. Something began leaking out of the discarded log, black and viscous, as it always seemed to do these days. It didn't make any difference to him, they all died the same anyway.

You had fallen onto your ass as he approached, watching him like prey would watch the predator. Nothing but wide eyes leaking with fear as he loped upon you. It made his gut swing with something foreign as he eyed you. He wasn't stupid. He knew the Yiga would go to some, frankly, extraordinary lengths to have his head on a stick. Whose to say they wouldn't set up some form of act where they attacked each other just to garner his attention?

He held out his weapon towards you, the Lynel horn glinting in the light as it prodded against your neck. You vulnerable and fragile little neck. You looked like you were about to cry at the action.

Unrelated, he pulled back just a bit. His snarl remained just the same. "Who are you?" He barked, daring you to avoid his question. Your...device was discarded at your side, which you quickly grappled onto as some form of protection. He'd have to remain weary of that. If it was anything like his Purah pad, it would be of an annoyance. Especially if you were a Yiga. They were able to replicate the Thunder Helm for Din's sake. (That was a mess and a half to retrieve.)

You swallowed hard, wincing away from him before fighting the urge to look up at him. His heart stuttered at the positively broken look you showed. You were so scared and so frightened.

He was supposed to be a hero.

(A part of him argued that he was the hero. Had been the hero. And look where it got him? Right back at the start. Fighting for his life once more. Fighting for someone who wouldn't do the same for him. Fighting for a Goddess who only used him as a pawn only to discard him when he was done.)

There was no way you were Yiga. You couldn't have been. None of them would've ever looked up at him like that. Nor could you have been a puppet of Ganon. Puppets and Yiga would burst out into an offensive attack the second they caught sight of him.

You didn't pose a threat.

But that didn't clear your name. "I asked you a question. I expect an answer." He allowed ultrahand to light up Rauru's arm in a warning red.

You blinked before shakily swallowing, holding your device to your chest. "...Y/N."

So that was your name. It was a nice name. Suited your features well and rolled off the tongue. Each syllable seemed built for your very being. He repeated it, using the tip of his weapon to tilt your chin up to face him again. That same, Goddess damned, look was sprawled on your features as he looked over you. You didn't seem injured outside of a bandaged wrap around your lower neck and left shoulder.

You had been hurt. Perhaps it was under that Wild's watch, whoever they were. They were unfit to care for you it seemed. He would happily take over if it meant you didn't get hurt any longer.

"You're...Link, right?"

He blinked, weapon staggering for a second. How did you know who he was? No one knew who he was anymore. Not without that wretched Zelda beside him, giving him a title he felt disgraced his very being. The swordsman. it was all Mineru called him and it burned something bitter in him.

He pushed the weapon further against your skin, watching it turn a harsh red before flashing to white. "What's it to you?" His teeth were bared as you tried to pull away, if only to breath just a little. He didn't let you. While it made his gut rot and knot at the thought of hurting you, he couldn't risk his own life. Not when he had a duty, Not when he had a vengeance. A vendetta.

"I can explain!" You hurriedly called, making him pull back once again.

"I would do so quickly."

You shook in your spot as your showed him the device. It seemed to have a selection of boxes, each holding a different picture. The one you hovered over read something in a language he couldn't read, but there was a picture of him. Right there. This was your explanation? It was pitiful. He almost did away with you, if only to move on, but you spoke before he could.

"You're Link. The wielder of the Master Sword. I- I'm from some other world. I, along with a group of others, are travelling to fight a dark magic that has been effecting many Hyrules across time. It's evidently effected yours." You gestured to the log, which now had an inky puddle beneath it. "We're here to help."

He pulled the weapon away, but didn't raise his glare from your form. "I don't need help."

"I never said you did." You let out a sigh full of relief. "But sometimes having someone watch your back is nice. I know you haven't had that person for you, which breaks my heart. This adventure is your second, third if we count...Ya'know..." You trailed off as his eyes narrowed. Were you talking about the Calamity? The Calamity he fell to? "You haven't had help, which I can only imagine as exhausting."

You were speaking nonsense. Nonsense that made him bubble with understanding of a sort. It was a clumsy attempt, but you were trying to offer support to him. Support he had never had previously.

He could kick his past (Three minutes ago) self for ever dreaming of hurting you, even if it was for his own personal safety. The thought of having someone offer just a tad bit of help to his battered and broken from, riddled with gloom, had him feeling a bit lighter.

He wouldn't trust you right away, he had gotten burned one too many times from doing that, but he would get you to a stable. Ensure you were safe from infection and whatever else before he made a decision regarding you and him in any sort of capacity.

Maybe take you to your group if only to see if those filth were worthy of your presence.

He would ensure you were safe in his, nevertheless. If he had to do away with the others, then so be it.

If he wanted to keep something, he would need to cling to it.

And this was just the start of his grip on you. Whether you knew it yet, or not.

[obxsummer]

Lean on Me // JJ Maybank

pairing: jj maybank x neutral!reader

summary: as much as you love being the go-to person for your friends, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. all it takes is a shitty week and an argument with your boyfriend for your strong exterior to break.

warnings: angst, arguments, brief wound description

a/n: i lowkey hate this bc it didn’t turn out how i intended but whatever. enjoy!

navigation

--

The Outer Banks was lucky to have you. That’s what JJ would say within a heartbeat. He knew there were a lot of deserving people amongst his friends, but man, you were way too good for the Pogue life. He owed you so much in the year and a half that the two of you had been dating. You were his rock against all odds, between his shitty dad and the raising anxiety in his chest after almost losing John B, you kept him grounded.

JJ loved watching you interact with your friends at the current kegger on the beach. You were so gentle and weaved your way along them them like it was second nature. The smile on your face was addicting, you seemed so carefree under the glow of the bonfire. The summer air, warm on your bare skin.

“Hey there, handsome.” You plopped on the log next to JJ, elbow nudging him gently as you made yourself comfortable. “You okay?”

JJ could really only force a nod and pushed a smile onto his face. He leaned close to press a kiss on your temple and let his arm fall around you shoulders. “Just love you, a lot.”

You were a little shocked at his outward affection but smiled nonetheless. “Love you too. A lot.”

--

You fell into a caregiver role naturally. Growing up, you had to learn how to take care of yourself first and foremost and when you did enough of that, you went for those around you. The broken bits of your upbringing reinforced your selflessness but increased a lot of anxiety and stress at a young age. You tried to never let it get to you, and if it ever did, you handled it in private.

Your friends adored you in every way possible. You were always there when they needed you - a reassuring rock to lean on at any moment. You were the best listener and always gave such great advice and the best hugs. Your overall presence could comfort a room without any words. They were internally grateful for everything you did.

It was very rare the Pogues saw you lose your cool, but in all honesty, this week was creeping up on you. Tensions were on the rise with the investigation of the Cross of Santo Domingo, and as much as you loved your friends, you were growing exhausted. You missed the way life was before the gold, when you would all just mess around without any worry while doing stupid teenager things. Your anxiety was growing and it felt like you would break at any sudden noise. You knew you needed some space, maybe a good cry if it came to it, but there was a lot going on right now.

“Y/N, hey!” John B came barrelling through the door with a burst of energy. You winced at the loud noise but forced a smile regardless.  “Are you able to make a quick grocery run really quick? You can take the Twinkie. We just need some basics.”

You had just settled down on the couch and wanted nothing more than to lay there in silence. “Yeah, yeah sure!” Pushing yourself off the couch, you grabbed your own keys from the table, opting to just drive yourself in hopes that it would lessen your stress. “Just text me a list!”

The day didn’t seem to ease up as the grocery store was packed, not to mention one of the bags ripped and spilled chips and yogurt across the parking lot. You managed to keep it cool until you were back in the safety of your car, letting a few tears slip before taking a deep breath and moving on.

After loading everything into John B’s kitchen, you set to work prepping dinner knowing everyone could use a home cooked meal and some quality time together. Shoving a pack of beers and a few wine coolers into the fridge for later, you decided spaghetti and meatballs sounded entertaining enough. Putting a pot of water on for the noodles, you managed to find some garlic bread in the freezer to heat up too.

The chaotic noise of your friends soon filled the room, lots of laughing and conversation filling the suffocating silence. “There you are!” JJ’s voice overtook the others as he came sliding towards you. You smiled at the motion, letting him wrap his arms around you as you stirred the noodles ahead of you.

“Hi,” You murmured, leaning back against him in comfort for a second to press a kiss on his lips before he disappeared right after. The beer was soon discovered, Sarah grabbing a seltzer and kissing your cheek in thanks before joining the rest of the crew on the patio. 

Normally, you didn’t mind them having fun while you busied yourself with something for them. It just felt like the pressure in your chest was building and you didn’t know how to slow it down.

Opting for a cup of water in hopes that it would help, you started grabbing dishes from the cabinets. One of the glass cups slipped past your fingers, a sharp gasp escaping your lips as it shattered against the worn hardwood floor. You stepped back in shock and managed to land right on a shard of broken glass, slicing through the skin of your foot in a second.

“Shit!” Being a bit more cautious, you avoided as much glass as possible and grabbed a wet paper towel to handle your foot. Admitting defeat, you sat on the ground and tried to slow the bleeding.

“Hey, babe? Food ready?” JJ slammed the screen shut behind him as he entered the room. Eyes scanned the room for a moment before he realized you weren’t in the kitchen. “Babe?”

You winced at the harsh cut in your skin and put pressure on it. “Down here.” JJ’s face came into view seconds later, taking in the scene of you on the floor.

“Hi, hey.” He carefully avoided the glass, although his boots could withstand some damage, and made his way over to you. “Let me grab something.” He returned shortly after with a hodgepodge of supplies from John B’s cabinet in hopes that some of it would work.

You took some peroxide and gauze from him before cleaning the scrape. “Thanks, J.”

JJ busied himself with cleaning up the broken glass while you did your best to stop the bleeding. He watched you for a moment, concerned about your lack of reaction. “Are you okay?”

You nodded, refusing to look at him because you knew you were holding on by a thread. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault and you felt bad for making them think that - if they even did. Grabbing some gauze, you laid it across the scrape before wrapping your foot and taping it off as a temporary fix. “Dinner’s almost ready if you want to get everyone.”

Everything seemed to move smoothly. Dinner was great, all of you laughing and joking around with some delicious food. The summer air was warm and the sound of crickets chirping was calming. You had hopes that this was just a momentary flicker of weakness and you’d be fine before bed tonight.

Sarah joined you in the kitchen to tackle cleaning dishes. “So, Y/N… are you joining Kie and I for our vacation weekend whenever life blows over?”

A question you’d heard many times before. Kie and Sarah had been joking for a while now about a getaway weekend since all the three of you did was spend time with your significant others. Of course, it was always pushed back for the chaos of your lives and would probably never happen, but it was a comforting question nonetheless.

You laughed in response, nudging her gently as soap splashed from the sink. “You know I’d be there in a heartbeat, Miss Cameron.”

“What trip?”

You turned to glance at JJ, the smile not leaving your face as you stacked the plate in the strainer. “Nothing. We’re just joking.”

JJ obviously had lost his fun mood and stared at you with an incredulous face. “You’re going on a trip out of OBX? When?”

Tossing the towel on the counter, you moved to fully face JJ. “J, I’m serious, we’re just-” You didn’t get a chance to explain before someone interrupted you.

“You’re leaving?” John B’s voice came in next, looking at his girlfriend with a goofy smile. “Do I finally get a weekend to myself?”

You shook your head aggressively, not suspecting the sudden third degree. “No, we’re not leaving and no, you don’t get a weekend to yourself. JJ, what’s going on?”

You didn’t know what had been set off in him, but this was not the same JJ that pulled you into his side five minutes ago and held you like no other. JJ aggressively ran his hands through his hair. “I just don’t understand why you’re hiding things from me.”

“Excuse me?” Your shoulders tensed at the tone of his voice, knowing this wasn’t going to end well. “I’m not hiding anything!”

JJ tossed his hand out. “First, you won’t tell me what’s wrong and now you’re jumping on vacation when we have some serious shit going on here? What the hell, Y/N.”

“JJ, nothing’s wrong! And we aren’t going right now, John B and Sarah literally just got back and we have the cross to look for.” You put your hands on your hips. “Why are you starting an argument with me over a joke? That’s so unlike you.”

“Yeah, well maybe you don’t know me!” His voice rattled around you. Your friends were quick to seclude to the pullout and create their own conversation to give you space. “You’re so busy fucking taking care of everyone else that I barely see you anymore, and when I do, you barely talk to me!”

Shaking your head you didn’t break eye contact with him. You had no idea where this change of heart was coming from, but you were already on a thin sheet of ice today and knew you couldn’t argue with him all night. “JJ, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m here literally-”

“I’m talking about the fact that you’re not here for me. If you’re going to leave me, Y/N, just fucking do it. Rip the bandaid off. I don’t need you to linger and make it hurt worse.”

“You know what JJ… you’re right.” You folded your arms across your chest as tears burned in your eyes. You weren’t fighting over this, not with him. “You’re right. Don’t know why I even bothered. Sorry for trying.”

You left the words in the air and brushed past him, trying your best to walk on your injury. A heavy sob broke rattled through you as soon as you made it out of the Chateau. Your chest burned with pressure, unable to let enough emotions out at one time. You needed to stop doing this.

Climbing in the car, you slammed the door shut and immediately curled into yourself. You tried so hard to keep everyone happy. You did everything you could to keep your friends, your family together as much as possible. Always putting everyone first, never saying no if you could help it. Everything you did was for everyone else and it still wasn’t enough. You wouldn’t ever be enough.

Back in the Chateau, JJ knew he fucked up. When the screen door slammed shut behind you, he let out a loud groan and slammed his head against the counter. “Okay,” Kie was up in a second and pulled him away from the possibility of sharp objects. “Let’s not give yourself a concussion now.”

“I fucked up,” JJ whispered as he dropped to the floor and covered his face with his hands. “I fucked up so bad.”

Pope let out a scoff. “Really? I didn’t think so,” He answered sarcastically. “Seemed like such a loving conversation.”

JJ didn’t have the energy to glare at his friend. “I just… Dad got in my head earlier and I totally just reacted instead of talking it out.” He knew he shouldn’t have stopped at the house, but he knew even more to never listen to what his dad had to say about him.

“You don’t need to tell us,” Sarah tried to guide him as best as possible. “I’ve never seen Y/N that close to tears, in all honesty.”

JJ pulled himself off the ground and peeked out the window to see your headlights still shining across the grass. He surprisingly avoided eating shit on the rug and took off outside, scrambling to talk to you.

Your vision was blurry as you tried to blink tears from your eyes. You couldn’t even bring yourself to drive home, knowing it would be too difficult with everything going on right now. The whole argument was more dramatic than you intended for it to be, and maybe if you weren’t already upset, you would’ve just walked away instead of yelling back.

Your car door was suddenly ripped open as you flinched away in shock. JJ’s form appeared a second later, his heart dropping at the sight of you so upset. He took a moment, observing the rapid movement of your chest and your tear-stained cheeks. He could curse himself a million times over for doing this to you.

“Babe, you gotta breathe,” JJ’s voice was gentle as he moved your seat back so he could get closer. He knew the telltale signs of a panic attack a little too well.

You let your head relax against the headrest and forced yourself to take a deep breath. It was shaky, but it was enough to start calming your racing head down. When you were young, you were taught to never show weakness in front of anyone, no matter how bad it got. You hated that JJ was seeing you like this…vulnerable, weak.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Tears of his own were building in his eyes. He hated to see you in any pain, but knowing he was the cause of it was even worse. He rarely ever saw you cry. “I saw my dad earlier a-and I took it out on you what he said… Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Your voice cracked as you looked away from him in an attempt to break eye-contact.

JJ’s fingers were gentle as they turned your gaze back on him. “No, it’s not. What I said in there, it’s not true. You do so much. For me, for our friends. We don’t deserve you, not one bit. You never expect a thank you, never ask for anything. I am so grateful, I’m so so lucky, to have you in my life. Don’t ever think differently, please. Even if it comes out of my own mouth. We all know I can be pretty dumb every now and then.”

“Don’t say that,” You whispered. You hated when he talked down on himself like that.

“See, proving my point. I hurt your feelings and you’re still being nice to me even if I don’t deserve it,” He countered. JJ reached over to turn your car off and took your hand to guide you out. “Come on, let’s get some ice cream and I’ll make it up to you.”

Sniffling, you climbed out with his help and let him close the door behind you before wrapping you into a hug. Another shaky breath escaped your lips as you clung to him, letting him hold you tightly until you could catch your breath and calm down fully. You were so grateful for JJ and his bubbly energy. Sometimes, it was hard to keep up with their busy lifestyle but you wouldn’t change it for the world. As long as you had your chaotic boyfriend with you at the end of the day, everything would be fine.

--

navigation

[redcoralpot]

Smudged (6) Rodrick Heffley x FTM! Reader

Summary: You fulfill your promise to Daniel, but Rodrick insists on coming along.

Warning: Talk of knives

Word Count: 1.1K

-

Crickets hummed a tune as you turned your headlight on, gripping your camera as if a bear would rip it from your hands at any moment. Daniel leaned against the hood of your car, flipping through pages in his binder, exchanging a few words with Rodrick. They were cautiously neutral, you noticed, despite Rodrick’s typical behavior. He was nosy and in Daniel’s personal space, trying to peer over his shoulder with a smug grin. You shined your light in his face, and he backed down with a hiss, “Are we gonna get started or just wait for the vandalism to come to us?”

“I’m pretty much ready, you?” Daniel responded.

You huffed, leaves crunching underfoot as you moved away from the car, “You already know my answer.”

“Dangerous, blah, blah, blah, squatters–”

“C’mon, don’t be a pussy,” Rodrick patted your back, pushing you onwards, “this is tame shit.”

“You wouldn’t know tame shit if it was right under your nose!”

Shaking your head, you kicked rocks off of the overgrown trail. The moon was high and the cool summer air kissed your cheeks with a gentleness you hadn’t expected. Fog whispered amongst the bushes, sticking close to the ground, swirling around your shoes. You could feel the warmth of the other two lights on the back of your neck, forcing you to adjust your collar in order to escape it. Owls stared down from their nocturnal perches; there was no privacy in the woods. 

You scanned each and every piece of bark you could find, even stooping to check fallen logs. There were plenty of grooves, but none were short of natural, and you were cut off by Daniel. He put his hand on your shoulder, leaning in close to whisper in your ear, “So, I have an idea– hear me out.”

When you nodded, he continued, “We’ll get clearer pictures if we focus only on smoother trees. Like, beech and musclewood and… stuff.”

That’s all Daniel managed before a body pushed between the two of you, proud and arrogant. Daniel shot him a glare, but Rodrick returned it with just as much venom, “Muscles? Yeah, I got plenty of those!”

One look at his stick arms and you burst out laughing, “Dude, seriously?”

“What?”

“Do you even know what we’re talking about? Look around you.” You threw your arms outward, embracing the scenery, “Trees! Trees, trees, and more trees!”

Daniel noted, snickering as he watched Rodrick’s mouth twitch, “Wood. Vandalized wood that we need to find. Preferably before my ass gets frostbite.” 

“It’s not even that cold out,” Rodrick scoffed.

You backed away as they argued back and forth, their voices fading ever so slightly. Yeah, real tough decision from the guy who was insistent on caution, but what could you do? Honestly, it was your fault for bringing two clashing personalities. Now, none of you were getting work done which, as Daniel stated, you preferred to finish swiftly. Your leather jacket had gained at least a few more signs of wear and tear since you started, scraping against trees that were a little too close to the trail. The bark of a tree lit up, bleached pale by your headlight, without many grooves to make shadows. On its surface were two initials surrounded by a heart; K+A, carved for eternity. Or, at least until the tree grew its skin back. Which, according to Daniel, wouldn’t be for years. He wasn’t shy about rambling tree facts to you after the projects were announced.

Taking a step forward, you raised your camera. Snap! Brushing your fingers over it and peering at it closer, it seemed less… fresh than you had initially thought. Certainly not from some lovesick high schoolers that ran off for some private time. Carved with a serrated pocket knife, the letters were lopsided and jagged, but medium-sized. Looking over your shoulder, you called out, “Hey, I found something!”

The two boys snapped out of their quarrel, with Daniel fumbling to get his camera out of his pocket. You grinned, tracing the letters with your thumb, pointing out the obvious, “See? It’s not hopeless.”

“Sure, but I need a few more or I’ll lose ten points for lack of visuals,” he sighed, snapping his own picture. 

“Couldn’t you just fill it in with graphs or some crap?”

Daniel shrugged, “Not according to the rubric. If there’s something here, then chances are there’s bound to be another one up ahead, right?”

“Worth a shot.”

You pushed Rodrick ahead, keeping yourself to the back of the line and flipping through the camera roll. It was mostly just Daniel with his family, or flowers, or– okay, he looked super nerdy there– his first day at work. Glancing up to compare the awkward dude in front of you to the acne-prone fourteen year old in the photo, it was pretty believable. A branch smacked your shoulder and you jumped, glaring at Rodrick when you heard a snicker escape his mouth. What an asshole. 

Trees started getting more and more scarce, and soon, none were present. A small clearing emerged in front of your group, opening up to an idle road in the distance. You heard Daniel sigh and Rodrick grumble, so you glanced over their heads to witness what was probably the most annoying thing that night. Lines marked the packed dirt, a few benches beside them, and inside was a parked car that was too familiar for your liking. 

“So this was rad and all but,” Rodrick chuckled, “you two are shit navigators.”

Daniel scoffed, and you circled around to your car, “Like you’re any better.”

Rodrick mocked his mouth with his hands, “Chit-chat.”

His demeanor was cool, relaxed, and smug. Otherwise, Rodrick looked nothing short of a mess. Your eyes traced down his figure, landing on his legs, where a dark brown bruise made itself known. You squinted, “Uh, man, what’d you hit your left leg on?”

“Huh?” His shoulders stiffened as he looked at his right leg.

“My left.”

You watched in slow motion as his face changed; Rodrick’s lips parted to show tightly shut teeth, his eyebrows raised, and he jumped in the air. He shook his leg repeatedly, yanking on your jacket to keep himself balanced. The not-bruise got flung in the air, landing on your car and shuffling into the wheel, as you stumbled backward. Finally, Rodrick screeched, high-pitched and girly. 

Your ears were left ringing after, “Ow– dude, what the fuck? Get off!”

He didn’t, only gripping onto you with more strength. You could feel the fabric of your jacket straining against his fists, but before you could say anything more, Daniel interrupted, “Wow, I didn’t know Rodrick was scared of spiders.”

“I am not!”

You tugged him off by his own shirt, opening the car door, “C’mon, guys. Let’s quit it for the night.”

-

[morihaus]

Breath

"I thought it would make for a good story!"

A son of Skyrim sits on a log far, far away from the snowy shores of his birth. Beside him sit two fellow warriors, one from this land of dragons in the East, and the other from a land of swords even further East than that. When Njorri bellows out his explanation, the Yokudan cracks a small smile, while the Tsaesci's eyes bore into him.

"It's a lovely fine country you have here. It's hot! But not as hot as Morrowind, so it suits me more! And I ain't got any ash in my beard, like my cousin Holf is always complaining about."

"That's why you're interfering with our sacred hunt?" Siek-Shirue asks, eyes sharp like her tongue.

Njorri laughs and waves a massive hand. "Oh, nooo, I wouldn't say 'interfere!' I'm fit to help you! My da use to hunt dragons all the time."

A laugh bubbles up from Ensaf, the third who has merely played the spectator up til now. "Quite the name to live up to."

"Ain't nothin' special. Not like traveling all this way out East-- across that cursed ocean no less!"

The armored Akaviri turns to Ensaf now. "And why are you here?"

The trained fighter can recognize an itchiness about her 'host's sword-arm, the way her hand sits on her opposite thigh, inches from her scabbard; she knows that, even without any apparent weapon, Ensaf could produce one out of thin-air with only a breath.

"Me? Well, I'm looking for a story of my own." She adjusts herself on the log, easing up on her posture to try and relax the other woman. "You see, in the land where I come from, just about every swordsman's done something incredible. There's nothing left to make a name for yourself. But here... I can do something no one else has. At least no one from Yokuda." Leaning back, she tears her eyes away from her host and looks up at the clear skies of the steppe where the day is giving way to nightfall. "I'd heard rumors from sailors about an island full of dragons to the West... wasn't sure they were true until today."

"You've got no dragons back home?" Njorri asks, leaning over Siek to do so.

Ensaf shakes her head. "Afraid not. Plenty of serpents, but none that fly through the air like that... I would've picked a better opening if I had realized how fast they move."

"No dragons??? Skyrim used to be lousy with dragons, and so did this place, I hear, before Sek here and her pals--"

At this junction, Siek shoves the tall Nord back with a sudden burst of force, barking out a single syllable as the thrust of her hand sends him spilling across the grass of the camp. "Siek." She affirms, curling her lip up at the boisterous foreigner. Her fellow blades look over at the commotion, hands at their swords before she waves them off, assuring them things hadn't broken down... at least not yet.

Ensaf narrows her eyes in the split second it takes place, perking an ear and trying to tune in. As Njorri's dusting himself off, she leans forward again and looks to the Tsaesci. "That was the same technique you used to disarm my Shehai, wasn't it?"

Siek turns to face her, but defensive walls are clearly still up. After a moment of eyeing her up, she replies. "Yes. The Kiai is the greatest power we wield as Tsaesci."

"It's a lot like the Thu'um!" Njorri remarks, unbothered as he returns to his seat.

Siek whips her head around to him, riled up by that notion. "NO, it is not!

"You shout, things happen, sounds like Thu'um to me."

"You are a moron and an interloper! Your know nothing of what you say!"

Ensaf interjects. "Care to explain what it is then?"

"Ooh, please! I'd love to hear a story from a Tsaesci!" Njorri enthusiastically chimes in, the two warriors looking to their interrogator with inquisitive eyes.

She stops and takes a breath to center herself, finding it important to tell this story right, even if it's only for the benefit of two strangers who meddled with their hunt.

"Long ago... these lands were ruled by dragons. Our ancestors worshiped them as gods, fearful of their power, but in truth, their power came from the spirits of the world itself. Our arbitrary masters had stolen it with their domineering language. Our Mother, Tserida-Shak, learnt this from the Teacher, Boesha, who taught her the path of Tsaescence and the secret language of creation. Using the world's alphabet, Tserida-Shak spoke the first Kiai into the world, using it to kill the word in the dragon's throat. With our new martial art, we began our hunt to destroy all dragonkind and our duty to defend creation."

Njorri and Ensaf listen intently, poring over the words of this legend.

Predictably, the affable Nord replies first. "Not a bad story, but, it's a little tired, ain't it?"

"What?" Siek asks, disgusted.

Njorri waves his hands to and fro as he talks. "Men ruled by dragons, someone teaches them how to fight back, they do-- I mean, we Nords for example, we learned it from Paarthurnax, since Kyne told him so--"

"'Paarthurnax?'" Siek grows suddenly inquisitively, as well as revolted. "A dragon??? You were taught by a dragon???"

"Well, sure! How else do ya expect a man to learn dragon’s talk?"

Siek suddenly regards Njorri with an odd mixture of pity and loathing, wondering whether his people were still living under a different sort of tyranny, or if they were all-too willing servants who traded their dignity and humanity for power over other mortals.

Ensaf cuts through the tension. "It's actually not too different from how we learned sword-singing..." She offers, successfully distracting Siek from her disgust. With both of the other warriors looking at her, she elaborates. "Our people have always had many enemies, without and within, and many gods of the sword took pity on us. Onsi taught us how to make them, but it was Leki who sang us the secrets of mastery. She made the sword our soul. From there, we learned to make our souls to swords."

The Yokudan stretches out her open hand and begins to speak, or sing, her own language, belting out a few syncopated notes. A bright glow emanates from her whole body before beginning to coalesce, traveling down her arm and taking shape in her hand. With a flash, she now holds a long, curved sword that seems to shimmer like the surface of a pond. Even as Ensaf stops singing, Njorri and Siek can still hear the blade humming the tune.

"That's..." Siek begins, her voice fallen to a hush.

"Shor's Bones! You're doin' that all on your own???" Njorri interjects, leaning in closer to inspect the weapon. "That right there's some clever craft if I've ever seen it! Never thought of usin' the Thu'um for somethin' like that!"

Ensaf laughs, taking the Nord much more lightly. "I'm not sure it's all too similar to what you two do with your voices... I'm not communing with any spirits. Put simply, this is all me." She takes a moment to admire her Shehai, a great point of pride for her as a Sword Saint. Even if the battles she's won or the quests she's gone on pale in comparison to many of her illustrious peers, this sword still stands as her one grand accomplishment, totally unique to herself.

"You're right..." Siek is still quite amazed at the display. "We use our own spirits in the Kiai as well, but we don't... at least, I have never heard of a Blade who could call upon such a well of power from within." She manages to tear her eyes away from the still-singing sword and look Ensaf in the eye. "That aerial slash of yours-- I thought Ilni's winds had carried it for you, yet it was this 'Shehai' of yours?"

Ensaf nods. "Though now that you mention it, I suppose I could've used some help in landing it. Maybe next time I'll ask them." She offers Siek a smile along with this well-meaning jest. In all honesty, the woman's story had piqued her curiosity. It could be interesting to bring a few of her tricks back to Yokuda with her.

Njorri loudly concurs with Siek's observation. "I've heard rumors-- tall tales and all that, not so trustworthy as they are entertaining-- that some Tongues can use the Thu'um to change themselves, the way we can change the Qethsegolle by arguin' with 'em."

"Arguing?" Siek interjects, glancing back at Njorri as he once more leads her to question his morals.

"Aye, arguin'. Y'see, we Nords can't go about it exactly like dragons. With dragons, they just shout so great and loud that the Qethsegolle go 'alright, alright!' and do whatever it is they want. Blast this mountain over there, blow these clouds away, set that man on fire-- that sorta thing." The way he describes the interaction so simply, like a children's game, rubs her entirely the wrong way. Whether Njorri is blissfully ignorant of this or simply affords fellow men the same irreverence as he does the spirits, she does not know, but he continues speaking nonetheless. "We men ain't as loud as dragons by nature, so we've got to be a little more subtle, eh? Persuade the spirits! It's all about spinning the right words with the right tones, making this-do-that or you-go-here or whatever it is you're tryin' for! The Qethsegolle aren't a prickly sort-- 'least most of 'em aren't. They're busy keepin' the house Shor built standin' upright, so they're distracted most of the time. It's easy to slip things by 'em if you say 'em right."

It sounds like just another deceit to Siek, but Njorri, of course, views it all in good fun.

He turns back to Ensaf and guffaws. "Guess your sword-singin' cuts out the middle man, eh?" The Nord bellows out a laugh.

Ensaf joins him, but she also notices Siek still hasn't quite come around to the two strangers just yet, fascinated as she may be by her Shehai. If they were going to have any chance of sticking around and seeing this hunt through, they'd need to find some more common ground.

Her spirit sword still singing, Ensaf looks up at the stars above them. "We have a lot in common... but there's an old saying in Yokuda: 'you can't see the view from atop his feet.'" She gracefully turns the point of her blade down to the ground, resting it against the earth. "No two people can really, truly see the same thing the same way. Right now, we can't see the same stars, because I can't sit where you're sitting. I don't know anything about dragons or earthly spirits because we couldn't be farther apart when we were all children. We could spin yarns all night and we'd still be no closer to understanding it all."

Njorri easily accepts this treatise on subjectivity given his cultural proclivity towards tale-telling, though Siek waits to hear where the Yokudan is going with this.

"But different as we may be, I've always seen two things that all us folk have in common." Ensaf smiles. "We breathe, and we sing."

"Sing?" Siek raises a brow.

"Oh yes! We Nords love to sing! I s'pose I should've guessed Yokudans do, given the sword and all!" Njorri cranes his neck down to look at their captor. "What of you, Siek? Do the Tsaesci sing?"

"Well of course." She replies almost defensively. "But I don't see why that--"

"Go on, share a song with us." Ensaf urges. "All this talk of your great hunts and dragon-slaying, you must have some raucous ballads."

At the continued insistence of these two interlopers, Siek-Shirue relents. She begins to regale them, softly at first, with some anthems of war, rhythmic lyrics that sing to the glories of Tsae and the noble cause of the Tsaesci. Njorri begins to slap his knee to the beat, while Ensaf nods her head and taps her foot. The two even start to pick up some of the words.

Their impromptu and largely unintentional revelry does not escape the attention of the rest of Siek's unit, who become easily gripped by the infectious songs of their people. Before Siek knows what's happened to her, she's leading her whole company plus two foreigners in the devotional ballads of Boesha 1-13.

It's only natural that a Tongue and a Sword-Singer would take to song so easily, learning more, perhaps, from the joint fervor of this merry ritual than they ever could have through idle conversation. As the night wears on and tensions subside, they even share some of the songs of Skyrim and Yokuda with their new fellows, and just as they had learned, now the Tsaesci learn of their new companions through the most expedient method: their breath, and their songs.

[imholtorf]

JD tells Branch about their parents

During a camping trip as Branch asked John Dory about their parents that John Dory had waited for years.

_____________________________________

John Dory is sitting on a log as he is looking at book which is a family photo album. He looks at the photos of him and his brothers, and keeps turning the page every time until he stops at one with a photo of him, his brothers, and two trolls. The male troll had light cyan skin, John Dory's teal hair, and yellow eyes. The female troll had cyan skin, Branch's blue hair, and blue eyes.

The troll couple were his parents, Rowan Basil and Rose Willow. They were everything to him and his brothers, John Dory sadly sighs as he misses them. He hears a twig snap as he turns his attention to the source and saw his brothers, Poppy, and Viva "Hi, JD" Viva said "Are you alright, John Dory?" Bruce asked.

"I'm fine, I'm just...looking at our family photos" John Dory replied as his brothers come to look at photos and Branch's eyes widen at the sight of the troll couple "Is that...Mom and Dad?" he asked "Yes, it is" Clay replied as Poppy and Viva joined them. "Your parents look familiar as if I've seen them before" Viva said.

"Our mother, Rose Willow is friends with Queen Sunny, Poppy and Viva's mother. And our father, Rowan Basil is King Peppy's right-hand troll" John Dory explained "Now, I remember: Rose Willow was my babysitter when Mom and Dad go off on a date or something" Viva explained.

Branch glances at a photo of his parents, brothers, and him as an egg then something struck him "Hey, John Dory...I have a question that I wanted to be answered for all these years...What happened to Mom and Dad?" Branch asked. John Dory became hesitant before replying "When it was last time you asked that question?"

"To Grandma when I was little and she told me that to wait until I'm older" Branch said "Well, it's a good thing, she did because you were too young to understand what happened to Mom and Dad" Bruce added. As John Dory began "Years ago, when you were just a baby, just six months old..."

(Flashback)

Young John Dory was practicing his band song and choreography as he is unaware of a bergen approaching "I was so busy with by practice, I didn't hear my parents trying to warn me" John Dory said as Rowan and Rose Willow saw the bergen approaching their oldest son "John Dory! Watch out!" Rowan shouted as he and his wife rushed towards him, but the young JD didn't listen to him and the bergen is getting closer "Watch out, son!" Rose Willow shouted.

John Dory turns around as he saw his parents then the bergen as was about to grab him until his father shoved him out of the way as he and his wife were grabbed instead "Mom! Dad!" young JD shouted as he extends his hair for his parents to grab on as they did.

"Hold on, I got you" young JD said "John Dory..." Rose Willow said "Don't worry, I'll get you out!" young John Dory exclaimed "John Dory" Rowan said "What?" young JD replied "Just let go" Rowan said. "What? But, I need you guys, so do my brothers, and so does Branch" young JD protested "Your grandma will take care of you and your brothers" Rowan replied.

"John Dory...take of your brothers, do you promise?" Rose Willow asked as the young John Dory is bursting tears "I promise" he replied "Here's something to remember me" Rowan said as he removes his face goggles and tossed it to John Dory as he catches it "Tell your brothers that we love them so much" Rose Willow said "I will" young JD said as his parents let go of his hair. John Dory watches the bergen walk away with his parents as he glances his father's face goggles then he began walk back to the pod.

At the pod...

John Dory arrived at the pod as Grandma Rosiepuff and his brothers saw him, they were happy to see him until they saw his sad expression "What's wrong?" Grandma Rosiepuff asked "Are those Dad's goggles?" Spruce asked "Where's Mom and Dad?" Clay asked. John Dory answered as he explained what happened and his brothers became heartbroken as Grandma Rosiepuff comforts her grandsons despite being heartbroken.

The brothers were asleep in their beds as they are woke up by Branch's cry. John Dory got out of his bed and pulls Branch out of his crib "You miss Mom and Dad, don't you?" JD said as Branch continued crying which he takes it as a yes. "I miss them too...I wanted to save them" he explained as Branch stopped crying and listen to his oldest brother "but they told me take care of my brothers especially you" JD said as he bursts into tears and Branch placed his baby hands on JD's face then JD brings Branch closer to him and snuggles him "And I will keep their promise, Grandma and the four of you are what I have left, and I will make our parents proud, Baby Brother" JD said as Branch smiles and goes to sleep.

(Flashback ends)

"Then that day when Brozone broke up, I felt like that I had failed our parents' promise and blamed myself for all of this. A failure as a band leader, a brother, a son, and a grandson. For years, I've been living with that guilt, and I let Mom, and Dad, even Grandma down as all of this is my fault" John Dory explained as he bursts into tears and sniffs then wiped his tears away. His three younger brothers comfort him as Branch stood there in shock from everything that John Dory told him before replying.

"I can relate to that, John Dory" he said as everyone looked at him and Poppy knew what Branch is going to say "I know what is like to lose someone you love and blame yourself for this...When I was a little kid, I was in the song, I didn't hear my grandma trying to warn me. She saved me from being taken away from the bergen chef and gets taken instead. I was heartbroken when she was took away that I lost my true colors and became gray. For 20 years, I lived with trauma and believing it was my fault for Grandma's death" Branch explained as he wipes his tears.

His brothers were surprised by this, Branch had already told them what happened to her, but they didn't knew he was responsible for her death. John Dory placed his hand on Branch's shoulder "No it's not...It's not your fault grandma died" he said as Branch listens to John Dory "Grandma sacrificed herself to save you so you can live. And, I now realized that our parents' death is not my fault either, they sacrificed themselves so I can live too, if weren't for them you and I wouldn't be here today" he explained as Branch smiles then hugs John Dory and John Dory is touched by this gesture as he hugs him back then Bruce, Clay, and Floyd joined in.

Poppy and Viva were bursting into tears and trying to hold their sobbing "This is the most beautiful family moment, I've ever seen" Poppy said "Me too" Viva added. "Let's take a photo to remember this" Bruce suggested as everyone gather around to get ready for photo. Viva readies the camera then she quickly runs to the group as the camera took their photo.

John Dory steps out of the group and approaches the camera, the photo prints out as he pulls it out to examine it "Is it good?" Viva asked as John Dory gave her a thumbs-up "It's perfect" he replied.

As he looks at the description of the photo: he, Branch, and Poppy were sitting on the ground. Viva, Clay, Bruce, and Floyd were behind them. The photo reminds him of another like this, he picks up the family album and founds the photo he is looking for. It was him, his brothers, and his parents.

He, his mom, and Bruce/Spruce were on the floor. Clay, Floyd, and his dad were sitting on the couch as he was holding Branch. "I'm made you very proud, Mom and Dad, and we are now looking out for each other, I wished you met Bruce's kids, you would be more than excited to become grandparents" John Dory said.

Rowan Basil and Rose Willow (c) @rootsbe4branches-trolls