#logged on to make sure there was no comments about warnings or tags i should add to the previous post. so far there hasn't been.

[crystalkitty1220]

Is Drew just a bush now? Is he sentient? Will Nevin ever be able to get hugs if he’s calm enough?

I knew I forgot something. Gonna break my temporary one-post-a-month rule to give you this, in hopes it'll answer your questions. It's a couple months old and I wrote it while avoiding writing poems in Creative Writing class.

Heed the tags.

[foomoosworld]

The Raven and The Firefly

CHAPTER 6

"SOUNDS LIKE EVERYDAY."

MINORS DNI

Pairing Joel Miller X Reader. No use of Your Name

Summary: Joel is transporting you across states during the outbreak in order to use you as a bartering chip for a cure for the infected called "Bacta" that a man named Poe, the father of the woman you are transporting, has. Joel thinks you struggle with mental health issues as you speak, randomly , about your space travels with your father, Poe. It makes him hesitant to hand you over to your father as he becomes more and more attached to you. Even though you are a pain in he ass consistently.

Crossover: Peli Motto, Poe Dameron

Let me know if you would like to be tagged in future posts for this in the comment section.

You woke up and were surprised that Joel’s arms still hung loosely around you as he gently slept.

The bright light through the dusty, fractured window made you squint as you groggily sat up and shielded your eyes with your forearm, listening to the birds chirp their awakening.  A soft tug pulled you back down to the bed and you found yourself laughing as Joel pulled you back into him, still half asleep and grumbling incoherently.  He took a deep breath of your neck and centered himself for a moment before he rasped, “We’re not moving yet.”

You wanted to turn around and kiss him.  To hold him.  To stay in this bed for days with him, but you knew this may just be what your father had warned you about… your “heat”.  This may not be real, just a hormonal chemical reaction.

You push up from Joel and turn to him, seeing his dismay as you step away and slowly gather your clothes and put them on.

“We could…  you know….” He starts with a quirk of his eyebrow as he squints from the sunlight through the window, “...stay here for a few days.  We’re safe here.”  Joel arches his eyebrows at you.  You turn completely away to avoid his charisma as you dress and pack.

“No.  We have to keep on track.”

There’s too long of a pause and it makes you turn back just in time to see Joel attempt to hide his hurt.

“You’re right.”  He gruffs as he gets up and puts on his underwear.  Your eyes can’t help but trace every inch of him as he does so.  Too quickly, he’s standing next to you, clothes on, rifle slung over his shoulder and his usual hard exterior taking the driver's seat.  You sigh and look up at him, not sure what to say.  Thinking, maybe you should discuss what happened.

“You gonna open that door or should I?”  He nods curtly beyond you at the door and snarks.

Oh.  Shitty Joel is back.  Well, that didn’t take long.

You side step with a small head shake of your disbelief of how fast he got over that and let him walk past. 

The two of you make your way down the stairwell and push out a rusted door out back of the hotel to be blinded by daylight.  Joel is shading his eyes with his hand as he surveys the horizon of forgotten fast food chains and crumbling on-ramps of the highway.

“We’ve got a long way to go today.”  He says as if to no one in particular as he scans.

“Sounds like everyday.”  You say emotionlessly.

Joel looks down at you, feels a pang of fleeting empathy and takes your hand, squeezes it, then lets it go as he gruffs, “We can do this.” and begins climbing down the giant shards of concrete from the collapsed hotel steps into the long grass of the field that used to be a golf course.  You sigh, throw your hands up, exasperated and follow him.

Hours passed of walking in the hot sun.  The forest scenery seemed to repeat like a cartoon background.  You stopped.

“I need a break.”  You announced.

Joel looks back, somewhat surprised but nods and scans around for a good place to rest.  He chooses a log a few feet away and after huffing down on it, offers you a swig of his canteen with a nod of his head and arch of his eyebrows.  You nod and take a swig, panting, passing it back then leaning back and stretching.

“I feel like shit.”  You cringe into the sunlight.  Joel quirks his head at you curiously  but doesn’t respond. “Do you ever feel like shit for no reason?” you ask.

Joel grabs a stick and traces it around in the ground beneath him.

“Yeah…”  He grunts, “It’s called ‘getting old’”

“Yeah…”  You trail off and sit next to him.  You take the stick from Joel and draw a happy face in the dirt. “Maybe…”

There’s a snap in the bushes and Joel grabs his rifle in a flash, aiming it at where he heard the sound.  You both freeze for a long moment but the sound doesn’t repeat.

“Could it have been a deer?”  You whisper hopefully to him, hoping you can get some food.

Joel hesitates then shakes his head at you,

“No.  Deer don’t hide like that.  It’s a person.”

He shoots off a shot into the forest towards the sound.

“I know you’re there!”  Joel calls out, “Don’t make me shoot you.” 

There’s a hesitation then a voice calls back,

“Hey there!  I’m not a threat!”  A woman in tattered rags, covered in dirt with frizzy hair and a missing front tooth slowly raised up from the brush and walked out.

“That’s exactly what a threat would say.”  Joel rasps as he aimed his gun directly between her eyes..

“I have ammunition for the same gun you have.  I’m gonna toss it at you and you can take it.  Would a threat give you bullets to shoot me?”  She says as she tosses a box of ammo to Joel.  It bounces and slides towards Joel.  He hesitantly  takes it, tosses it to you to take a look.  You open it and shrug.

“It’s bullets.”  You confirm with a shrug.  Joel lowers his rifle.

“What are you doing out here?”  Joel asks the woman..

“Just trying to survive, same as you.”  She states jovially as she happily walks forward with her hands open, “I’m Peli.”  She confidently juts her hand out to shake Joel’s.  He hesitates but when you nudge him shoots you a cold look then takes her hand and shakes it.  She looks to you and offers her hand but you feel like there is a sudden shift in her gaze that looks a little too happy to meet you.  You suspiciously take her hand and say through your side-eye,

“Amy.”  with an air of caution.

“Amy”  Peli rolls her name around in her mouth, calculating it.  “That a South American name?”

You look at her oddly and instantly question how she may know part of your heritage from a very American name..

“No.” you say suspectfully.

“Ah… well there's so many worlds out there it’s hard to keep track of the vernacular.” Peli chirped, “Where are you two headed?”

Joel is stone faced and offers no response however, you chirp up,

“To find my father!”  Joel hisses a tisking noise at you to stay silent and you immediately shrink back and look at him not knowing your infraction.

“Aaaah, looking for your Papa, huh?”  Peli puts her hands on her hips and gazes with a stretched back around the forest, “Know which way he may be?”

Joel outstretches a hand and pushes me behind him.

“Where you goin’?”  He asks suspiciously.

“Well, really, anywhere you are.  I’ve been out here for months by myself and really, I don’t have a destination.  Just looking for company, to be honest… But I’m useful!  I’m a mechanic.  Can fix anything.  And I speak a lot of languages.  Great with directions and maps.”

Joel stares at her.

“Not a talker is he?”  Peli smiled at you and motioned to Joel with her thumb.  You stare silently and curiously at her as well. “I have food. Ration packs.  Maybe we can gain some trust over a nutritious meal?”

Joel and I lock eyes.  We were low on food and game was hard to come by in this area.

“You just earned your bed in this camp tonight, Peli.”  Joel said as he lowered his rifle and slid off his pack.  Peli smiles brightly, showing her missing front tooth, “Get fire wood.”  Joel grunts to me.  I roll my eyes and mumble under my breath,

“Sure… we’ve been walking all day, you’re tired, I’m tired, but let me just wander alone in the forest to get firewood.  Makes sense…”

“I fucking heard that!”  Joel yells at you as you merely flip him off and head into the brush to find wood as he sits across from Peli.

“What kind of name is Peli?” Joel snarks.

“Short for pelican.  It’s a nic name.”  Peli happily responds.

“Hm.”  Joel takes out his sleeping bag and unrolls it then takes out mind and unrolls it for me, “Don’t be thinkin that I’m going to sleep tonight.  You gave us resources, which I’m grateful for, but I don’t trust you.  She just… will take issue if I don’t sleep.  Then she may not sleep.  So we’re gonna pretend we’re all friends here.  Got it?”

Peli raised her hands submissive and bowed her head, “As far as I’m concerned we are friends.”

Joel busies himself with the sleeping bags and packs to avoid talking to Peli before she breaks the silence,

“So she’s looking for her Dad?”

Joel freezes, unsure if he wants to answer.  He decides that since you already told her there is no harm in confirming.

“Yes.  We’re looking for her Dad.”

“I’ve met a lot of people in my travels.  Maybe I know him?”  Peli chirped.

“I doubt it.”

Peli inspects Joel for a long moment, searching his face that he tries to hide from her inspection.

“You’re looking for it too, aren’t you?”  She leans forward and whispers.  Joel merely flicks his eyes up to her and pauses, “The cure they have.  I’ve seen it.  I’ve used it.  It’s real.”  Peli confirms solusolumnley  Joel is still frozen in his motions as he turns his head and looks at her.  “It’s a bandage patch that goes over the wound.  Cures it instantly.”  Peli pulls up her pant leg to show a bite wound, obviously from the infected, that has healed over.  Joel turns slowly and looks at her leg as she becomes serious, cautious and lowers her voice.  “They call it Bacta.  It fixes almost any wound.”

“Here’s your stupid sticks.”  You say dumping an armful of timber at Joel’s feet. “Can we eat now?”

…………..

You, Joel and Peli sit around the fire eating some of Peli’s “ration packs” that were heated under the fire.

“These don’t taste like anything.  It’s like eating texture.”  You complain.  Peli laughs.

“Yeah, they’re not gourmet, but they keep you alive.” She admits.

“I’ll be right back.” Joel quietly mumbles to you.

“Where you going?”  Peli questions loudly.

“He’s peeing.”  You tell her. “He’s weird about it and doesn’t want people to know he’s not a robot and actually has bodily functions.”  You smirk as Joel walks towards the forest edge but not before prominently holding a middle finger up to you.

“Soooo…”  Peli scuffles over to sit next to you. “You and Joel, huh?”  She smirks.

“What do you mean?”  You pretend to play dumb.

“Come on!  I can smell the hormones dripping off you both from a mile away.”

“We’re just trying to find my father.”  You reassure her.

“Right… Poe.”  Peli mumbles.

Your eyes turn wide and you shift suddenly to Peli.

“How do you know my father’s name?!?”  You frantically ask.

Peli suddenly realizes her faux pas and tries to back pedal,

“Uh, just guessed… Poe could be a common name, I mean IS a common name…”  You give her a look of disbelief and Peli sighs, “Fine.  Poe asked me to come here and checkmyou and Joel out. Sess out the situation.”

“You know where my father is?”  You hunched excitedly forward at Peli.

“I do.  But this may not go as smoothly as we once thought it would if you and Joel are… you know… bonded.”

“Wh-what do you mean bonded?”

“Bed time.”  Joel commanded as he stomped back into the camp.  He pulled your sleepingbag open on the other side of him and pointed for you to get into it.

“I-I was just talking with Peli.  Can I have a few more minutes?”  You asked frantically.  Joel picked up on your tone and instantly didn’t like it.  He glared at Peli then back to you.

“No.  Bed.  Now.”

You shot Peli a look that apologized, “I’m sorry” and scuffled into your sleeping bag.  Joel then sat on top of his sleeping bag and stared at Peli angrily.

“I don’t have a sleeping bag.”  Peli shrugged and looked longingly at your blankets.

“Then I guess you’re used to sleeping on the goddamn ground.”  Joel huffed as he undid the safety on his gun and sat up against the tree behind his sleeping bag, “Sweet dreams.”  He mocked.

Hours passed.  Joel shook himself awake in a frenzie, unaware that he had fallen asleep at some point in the night.  He frantically looked around for you and was put at ease when he saw you breathing easily in your sleeping bag next to him.  He then motioned his gaze around for Peli, who was nowhere to be seen.  She had left a giant stack of her “ration packs” but that was all that was left of her.

“Hey…”  Joel nudged you to try to wake you but you merely mumbled and rolled further away.  He caught a whiff of your scent and it engaged a primal feeling in him, again.  He laid next to you, outside of the sleeping bag and nuzzled into your hair burying his face in the back of your neck, “Hey, you… time to get up.”  He felt you stir and stretch all your muscles out as long as they could with a long moan.  You shifted and squirmed under the sleeping bag as you woke your body up but it seemed irresistible to him.  His large arm wrapped around your waist over the sleeping bag and he pulled you back into him.  You could feel his breath on the side of your neck.

“Mine” he huffed quietly, to himself, as he pulled you into his body.

You moaned and slowly woke from his embrace.  

“Where’s Peli?”  You asked, bleary eyed.

“Took off in the middle of the night, seems.  Just you and me now.”

“Mmmm… WAIT-”  You jolted upright.  “She left?!?”

Joel raises his hands to quell you.

“She disappeared at some point in the night.  Why do you care?”

“She said she knew my father!”  You cry, heartbroken.

“Okay, okay ,baby girl. Look - “  He points to her tracks in the mud, “We can track her.  And she’s going in the direction we wanted to go anyways.”

Tears are streaming down your face but you don’t even notice.  Joel crowds you and wipes them from your cheeks.

“Don’t worry, baby girl.  We’re going.”

[dreamdropsystem]

I can help with toyhouse! I'm sorry if this is too long and wordy :( (I'm on android mobile, so I'll help as best I can from there)

To make a character: go to the main bar (the bar at the top of the site that says toyhou.se on the left of the screen with the three lines on the right), click the three lines, find the "submit" dropdown, click that, then click "character." It'll bring you to a "create character" screen. From there, you can upload an avatar, type the name in, put it in a folder, change it's visibility, add tags, make and fill out fields, and do the description. You can also upload your first image for the character. After you've done all you need to do for your character, you click "create character" and TA-DAA you have your character!

To upload an image: go to the main bar (the bar at the top of the site that says toyhou.se on the left of the screen with the three lines on the right), click the three lines, find the "submit" dropdown, click that, then click "image." It'll bring you to an "upload image" screen. In the "Basics" box, click "choose file" and select the image you wish to upload. You can optionally make a thumbnail for this image using the zoom slider and you can select "watermark thumbnail" to add a watermark. You can also make an optional caption! On the "Privacies" box you can choose who gets the see the image and how (eg: logged in users get full access, logged out get watermarked), you also get to select the watermark type. It's worth noting you can upload your own watermark. Then, you can select content warnings. The next box below, allows you to select what character the image shows. Select the button, then select "select," and choose the character you wish. Finally, select upload image.

To upload writing: go to the main bar (the bar at the top of the site that says toyhou.se on the left of the screen with the three lines on the right), click the three lines, find the "submit" dropdown, click that, then click "literature." It'll bring you to a "create literature" screen. In the "General" box, you can choose a thumbnail by clicking "upload file" and selecting the image you want. You can use the slider tool to adjust how close or far the image should be. Type the title and the summary (under blurb). In the "settings" box, you can select if the writing will be multiple chaptered, one chaptered, or an collection and the progress of the writing. You can allow or disallow comments, favorites (likes), and subscriptions. You can change the visibility, listing, and maturity level. You can also add warnings. The last box allows you to add the cast of characters. Select the "add charcter" button, then select "select," and choose the character you wish. Repeat for each character. If one character is the protagonist, you can click the box that says "main character." If you select "quick publish," you can write the chapter and publish it with the stuff you just done. Finally, click publish literature.

To create links (relationship link) between two characters: Veiw the character's profile. At the top right of the screen, below the toyhou.se label, click the menu pull out. Click the "link" button. It'll bring you to the character's links. Click the "select" button and select your desired character. Click the "request link" button below the character's profile. Finally, write how the character's feel about one another. Make sure to click "edit link" when you're finished with one!

To make folders: go to the main bar (the bar at the top of the site that says toyhou.se on the left of the screen with the three lines on the right), click the three lines, and select your profile picture. Find the "folders" button and click it. It'll bring you to a screen labeled "folder management." Click new folder. Choose a thumbnail if you want, choose the privacy, choose the sorting, and the style. Make a description if you want! Then select "create folder." When you make multiple, you can nest a folder inside another!

To create a world: go to the main bar (the bar at the top of the site that says toyhou.se on the left of the screen with the three lines on the right), click the three lines, find the "submit" dropdown, click that, then click "World." Make a name for your world, then it's privacy level. Then, select "create world."

To make a profile warning: go to the main bar (the bar at the top of the site that says toyhou.se on the left of the screen with the three lines on the right), click the three lines, and select your profile picture. Click anything under the "manage" (folders, tags, characters, sort characters, designs, or images). At the top right of the screen, below the toyhou.se label, click the menu pull out. Click profile warning. It'll bring you to a screen that says "edit warnings." Turn on the account wide warning if you want and write your warning! Click "charcter warnings" to veiw warnings on characters.

I'm so sorry this is so, so long. I covered as many basic things as I could think of. If there's anything else, just ask around! I'm sure someone will happily answer! Have a wonderful day!

we will be saving and using this we want to make profiles fod our paras plushie and regular paras /OCs on there but it'll take time. cheese will probably be first haha.. we will do our best - HoneyLily+others

[hookingminor]

“i hate what i’ve become.” with mat? ty 🫶🏻

“I hate what I’ve become.”

this got very real and deep very fast don't ask me if I'm mentally okay after reading this because I'm clearly not

warnings: intense talk of insecurities

-

Social media was your worst nightmare even after years of handling it, you thought you had it mastered. You thought you could step back and block out negative comments and everything that made you feel like shit, but it was so much easier said than done.

And as much as you hated to admit it, Mat only made it worse. Being with Mat only made it worse. It was bad enough before you were his girlfriend, but now that you were officially public, it was exponentially worse.

The doom scrolling was the worst part of it all. You were so wrapped up in the toxicity of it all and couldn’t let it go. For hours you’d sit on Instagram, scrolling through the comments on his posts of you. Even if the positive comments outweighed the negative ones, you could only focus on every criticism of you. How you weren’t the typical WAG standard, how Mat must be cheating on you, how much better he could do.

Then came his tag posts, which were sometimes filled with vapid remarks about his alleged hookups or hateful judgements of your profile. Not to mention all the women he still followed that were stick thin and blonde and clearly got paid just to post bikini photos. You weren’t one to be bitter and misogynistic, but it was hard when everywhere you looked there were reminders of every beautiful ex Mat had or how ugly you were next to him.

It was all consuming and to the point where you just couldn’t handle it anymore. Like physically, you feared this comparison and criticism of yourself would be the death of you.

Realistically, you knew there was only one solution to this problem.

“We need to break up.”

Mat could not have been more blindsided by your words, his whole body coming to a dramatic halt at your blunt words. He was in the middle of making a sandwich for god’s sake. “Is this a joke?” Never in a million years would Mat have expected you to spring this on him.

“No,” you stated. “I think we should break up.”

The silence felt like it lasted hours while Mat’s brain tried to catch up with what you were saying. It was out of the blue and made no sense, and Mat still half believed you were just fucking with him.

“Why would we break up? Is there something wrong with us?” If he weren’t so genuinely confused by your outburst, he might be mad, but he was just lost. As far as he was concerned, you two were solid. Nothing big had happened to warrant a fight, let alone a breakup. “What’s going on, babe?”

“I just can’t do this anymore. I hate what I’ve become, and I can’t stand being like this, Mat,” you explained, which only confused him even more.

“What the hell are you even talking about? What can’t you do anymore? What’s wrong?” He walked to you in two long strides, enveloping your face in his hands while he scanned it for something. Anything.

“I can’t do being your girlfriend anymore,” you said. “All the comments and trolls and you being the literal hottest man to ever grace hockey while I’m just some girl.”

“Woah, where is this coming from? Who said this? Where are you getting this?” His questions came out at double speed, real fear setting in now that you might actually leave him.

“Instagram, twitter, those stupid blogs, I’m tired of it all, Mat.” Your voice broke on his name.

“When did all of this start?” He asked.

Mat never spent much time on social media anymore except to post something then log off, and you were sure he somehow had notifications set so only his friends showed up in his mentions. Of course he wouldn’t be focusing on all the bullshit they were saying about you.

“The day we met,” you snorted humorlessly. “We’ve been dating publicly for months now, and they’ve never slowed down. They’re never going to stop. As long as I’m with you, I’m always going to be hearing this shit and comparing myself to other girls.”

“As long as you’re with me?” The anger was starting to hit now. “I’m sorry, but am I missing the part where this is my fault? Have I ever made you feel like this? It shouldn’t matter what other people think. They’re all spineless assholes who have nothing better to do with their time but tweet insulting shit. I think you’re amazing and wonderful and hot and sexy and incredible. Doesn’t me loving you count for something?”

“Of course it does, Mat. And I love you, but this shit never stops. You don’t get it. You don’t get what it’s like to look at every single woman and wonder if you’d be more attracted to them than you are to me. To wonder if you’re just waiting until you find something better.” And he didn’t get it. Not when he looked like that and had all that money and fame and success. He would always be too good for you.

“Jesus Christ.” Mat’s heart broke at your confession. “How long have you been feeling like this?”

It was painful to hear about your insecurities, and that was the reason you never brought it up. It wasn’t Mat’s job to reassure you every time you were feeling down, especially when your bad days greatly outnumbered your good days. You felt like a burden when you told Mat about your problems.

You shrugged. “A long time.”

“And you really think breaking up will solve this?”

“It can’t make it any worse.”

Mat rethought his strategy. He clearly wasn’t letting you call off nearly a year-long relationship over something you hadn’t discussed more than just this one time, but it was also clear your mind was made up.

“Okay, well, I’ll just delete my Instagram then,” Mat said casually. So casually your eyes snapped up to his.

“What? No. You can’t do that,” you said defensively.

“If it’s the only way I can keep you then yes, I can,” he shrugged.

“Mat, don’t be stupid,” you scoffed, pushing him away with a hand though he wouldn’t budge.

“If anyone’s being stupid here it’s you,” he said without hesitation. “If you think I’m letting you breakup with me having not even discussed this with me, you’re insane. Clearly, this has all been taking a toll on you, and you won’t even tell me about it so we can handle it as a team.”

“There’s nothing to handle. I’ve already figured it out.”

“Totally.” Mat nodded. “You know that in a relationship we handle things together, right?”

And maybe he had a point, but this wasn’t his battle to fight. It’s not like he was the one whose self esteem had taken drastic hits.

“I just don’t see how this can work out when I’m constantly thinking about how awful I feel or look,” you said.

“Well, I can tell you how we can work this out,” Mat replied confidently. “First, you tell me when things get bad like this so you don’t have to be alone. Second, I will tell every single bastard online to fuck off if you want. Third, we both take a step back from social media. No name searching or doom scrolling or even posting, if that’s what you want.”

“It won’t work, Mat.” You tried the whole ‘taking a step back’ and ignoring shit. It doesn’t work.

“Have you tried it with me?” You shook your head. “We’ll spend our evenings learning new hobbies like it’s the 1800s or something. You can teach me how to crochet or bake bread. We’ll start new shows and explore the city doing stuff we never thought we’d do. We can go to every single bagel place in New York and rank them.”

“That’ll take years.” You couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out.

Mat continued on, a smile tugging at his own lips. “We’ll go on vacations to the most remote places in the world with no cell reception. We’ll take pictures on polaroids and disposables like old people so that the only pictures we have are just for us. We’ll buy a house in the woods where we can go to escape whenever we think it’s all too much. When I retire we’ll move to the most secluded small town in Canada and put all of our efforts into starting a small business. There are so many things we haven’t tried yet.”

It all sounded so beautiful coming from Mat, and you couldn’t fight the smile that crept across your face as he listed off a million things for you to do. “You’re planning quite a far way into the future.”

“That’s because you are my future. I love you, and I want this to work. Your bad days are my bad days, and we should be handling this together. Like a team,” Mat said.

“We’re not qualified to start a small business,” you remarked, and he scoffed.

“Then we’ll both go to business school,” he teased. “We have years to plan that out.”

You knew he was joking about half the things he listed, but the fact that they were mostly all plausible options had you pausing to consider.

“Just give it a chance for us to work this out,” Mat pleaded.

And maybe it was the thought of hiking through South American mountains miles away from civilization or the thought of settling down with Mat in a home with your possible future children or the fact that you just loved Mat with all your heart, plain and simple, but you nodded in agreement.

“Okay,” you said softly. “We’ll work it out.”

[nevereverlandboys]

Drunken in charge

A/N: So I already posted this on wattpad a while ago. I was busy with learning for my exam, but now I finally managed to edit everything so I can post it on tumblr for those who don't read in wattpad

If you want to get tagged for my oneshots DM me ❤

Pairing: Ouat Felix x Reader

Warnings: Smut, NSFW, fingering, oral, unprotected sex, consuming of alcohol, swearing, really unrealistic sex scene lol, unprotected sex

Summary: Felix is being left in charge for the camp while Pan is absent, so games are off along with every other game. What is there else to do than drink? The second in command uses this opportunity to finally get closer to the reader after being so distant for a long time.

word count: 9968

The Island was harsh and cruel to everyone in an unfair but equal way. Even though the lost boys lived free on Neverland, they still were ruled by the mischievous leader named Peter Pan. Each of them had their own suffering they would not mention to anyone, rather feel the pain alone and the loneliness followed them with every step. But if someone caught Y/N's eye the most, it was the quiet second in command, Felix. He always stayed close to his leader and would always follow his command. His cold facade never told her a single thought, making him special in his own way. He would leave the girl alone and only joined her on missions, but even then, the second in command would remain quiet. Pan on the other hand, tormented Y/N with thousands of useless tasks, while the lost boys worked on their own duties that seemed to make way more fun. No matter how hard she tried, Y/N would never fit in the group of lost boys, their name alone excluded her. None of them treated her fair, always left her out and acted like she was their servant. At first, the boys all seemed curious, and also a little intrigued about her appearance. They wondered why the shadow brought a girl to Neverland and if she would stay forever or just for a while. Their vicious behavior scared her off the first days, keeping her distance in a small tent. There was nothing special about Y/N, and she wondered why Pan brought her here from the beginning. Soon they boys learned that as well, treating her harshly like everybody else. They mocked her for being too weak, being too emotional,- they mocked her for not being a boy. After a while Y/N stopped asking questions and simply agreed to her new life. There were many good things to mention, nothing here was all bad. No one cared about her exploring the island during the day, at least if she did not go too far. If she wanted to cook for herself, there was no one in the way, and if she wanted to read in her tent, they would not enter- also because she was definitely sure Pan forbat it. The lost boy's feared and loved their leader at the same time, the way he let them live the free life they always wanted and not even seeing how dangerous it could be had convinced them. Y/N had distanced herself from them and their cruelty, rarely appeared to any big occasion and rather traveled along the river that ran it's way through the meadow and pastures. It was a surprise when one boy asked her one day to join a game, leaving her startled and unable to answer since no one ever really attempted to talk to the girl. It woke a piece of hope inside her, some of the younger boys already liked Y/N, yet, there was always something suspicious around the older ones.

"C'mon!" The thin boy yelled excitedly and waved his hands through the air, gesturing to follow him.

"This will be fun!"

Y/N avoided the demanding boy and tilted her head while her eyes wandered through the group before they stopped at the second in command, his eyes already burning on her skin when she detected him on his log, not far. His gaze made her nervous, uncomfortable and she questioned the decision to join the game. Something inside her shook the thought off, that Felix would approach her one day for some other reason than Pan made him, or that he would ask her to join a game.

"No…" Y/N answered nervously and looked back to the lost boy, trying to ignore Felix in the back. She did not trust that boy the slightest.

"I have to clean the kitchen." She  lied and dropped her gaze to the ground. The boy left as quickly as he came, not even trying to convince her further as if the interest was faked like everything else on this Island. After a while she sat alone in silence, watching the smaller boys play with sticks and some older ones preparing some meat and stickbread for the bonfire. The feeling of being watched did not let go. Y/N tried her best not to look suspicious and quickly let her eyes wander further when she found the guilty boy, Felix. 

Why is he still staring at me?

She never found out. The boy stayed exactly where he was and so did Y/N. He would constantly steal a glimpse and for a moment goosebumps spread all over her body, as butterflies rumbled in her stomach. A few days went on and she had catched the second in command staring at her over and over again. Whenever she looked at him, he quickly shifted his eyes somewhere in hope not to be catched. Sitting at the dining table she would catch him, when she did the laundry or cooked in the humble kitchen. The lost boy woke some curiosity inside the girl, the urgent need to know why he would always steal a glimpse, whenever she walked by. He never slipped a nasty comment, definitely strange compared to the other lost boys and their vivid temper. He never approached her or tried to keep up a conversation either. As soon as the sun went down, Pan appeared in front of Y/N's tent, calling her to come out and get some firewood. His second in command stood not far, leaning against the bark of a tree and chewing on a toothpick. He didn't need to wait for his leader's command, already knowing he had to join her. 

"Be quick." Pan ordered sternly, pressing his brows together before strutting back to the other boys. Her eyes instantly shifted over to the lanky, blonde boy, a smirk plastered on his pale face. If Pan knew that this was not a good idea? Felix turned on his heels and led the way through the trees uphill where the bushes covered the edges down to the abyss, not looking back once.

"C'mon, girlie." He said.

'Don't call me that!' She snapped back and paced up. The lost boy's camp disappeared on the ground, the higher Y/N followed the path before Felix stopped in front of a dark forest, the leaves swallowing every light before it could touch the ground. 

"Princess." Felix corrected cockily, watching her step between the trees. She started to blush and was unable to say something, so she decided to simply ignore the giant boy's nickname for her, no matter how flattering his words seemed. She tried to act tough, tougher than she actually was, in hope he would recognise it.

"How in the hell should we get wood in the dark?' Y/N mumbled as she stared into the pitch black.

"Are you scared?" Felix teased and gave her a smirk. His voice was deep and rough, unsettling but still going like honey through her ears. The girl scoffed at him and rolled her eyes, then led the way with firm steps, not even seeing the ground and suddenly tripping over into a mess of wood. 

"Fuck!" She hissed and held her hands to check the unbruised skin. The lost boy started to laugh darkly to himself, before he stepped closer. 

"This wood is full of chunks." Felix explained and bent down to pick up the wood. Y/N rose to her feet and grabbed some wood, not saying another word. Felix remained silent as well, heading with heavy back to the camp. After a while he stopped and turned, watched if she could catch up and continued when the girl was close enough. All the time she wanted to talk to him, using the moment all alone with him, but as she hurried to follow the second in command, no single idea for a conversation came to her mind. It was like someone wiped every thought away and replaced it with the heavy drumming of her heartbeat. As soon as she reached the clearing, Felix dropped the wood onto the ground and left them for the other boys to take care of it. Her chunks landed right next to his and she paced up to catch up with the gloomy second in command, when a tight grip on the girl's wrist stopped her. 

"Where do you think you're going?"

Y/N tilted her head and faced Dave, a tall chubby boy with messy brown hair, his eyes dark and soft like marbles. The lost boy looked like a bear, warm and welcoming, nevertheless it were his words that often scared her off. He only had nasty comments for Y/N, threats and if Pan wouldn't protect her for being a weak girl, the lost boy would probably harm her physically as well.

"The potatoes won't cook themselves!" Dave barked and pushed her harshly away before his eyes wandered over to the kitchen tent. Y/N bit her tongue to stop slipping a nasty comment, marched over to the humble kitchen and let out a growl when she saw the mess inside. 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She whined as her eyes wandered over the dirty pots and Pan's, knives and forks along with every spoon. At least it was not stinking and disgusting, easy to wash, yet an avoidable effort if every boy would clean after themselves. But why should they? They had Y/N. Deciding to only clean the essential goods and shoving the other things aside, she opened a little basket with potatoes in it and placed them on the little counter. Like she expected, no one came to help her during the cooking, only one boy showed up to ask if she could hurry up. The same boy did not even thank her when she finally gave them the cooked potatoes half an hour later. The selfish behaviour of these boys was the thing Y/N hated most, more reason to focus on the second in command, the only boy who had never shown her this nasty attitude. While every other boy slowly gathered around the bonfire after they ate, Felix stayed where he was. He did not dance like the others and Y/N was not even sure if he could hear what the boys claimed to hear. Pan once said, his flute was special and the girl was supposed to hear her too. None of them had an explanation, still, it did not seem like the first time for Pan, seeing something like this. 

The girl's eyes darted back to Felix, his eyes already burning on her skin and she instantly moved her head to make it look less obvious. The tempting idea of walking over to him burned inside her guts, but with all those boys around, she was like being frozen in place. The second in command never talked to her when it was not necessary, not even one muscle in his face twitched when he interacted with the others. Still, something inside Y/N pulled her towards him from the beginning, as if his attempt to block her out was even more tempting. When she distanced herself from the bonfire back to her tent, Felix stayed at his seat instead of following her like she had imagined he would do. A little disappointed she went to bed and kept twirling all her thoughts around the mysterious second in command. There were so many questions about him. No one ever understood Felix, maybe not even Pan, although they were closer to each other than no one else on this whole Island.  

The following days Pan left Felix in charge, going on a mission by himself. The absence of Neverland's leader made itself noticeable first, when the lost boys stopped playing their big games and went directly to their duties, almost no words slipping from their usually loud mouths as they worked in silence. The day had started boring for everyone on it, Pan was already away for a few days, so Felix was fully in charge. Games were off, along with parties and especially dances in the evening. If Y/N could tell, the dances were the most annoying thing to the second in command, the thing he hated the most. Felix did not like the idea of taking care of anybody else but himself. So it came that even after weeks, Y/N had barely exchanged some words with him. He would simply avoid her and in case of sharing a task, just stare at her in curiosity. It was a lie to say he did not make her nervous, even when it was not in a scary way. The second in command was weird in any way and whenever he built himself up in front of her, she and broad, he made her look even shorter than she actually was. A feeling almost pleasant instead of scary. It was like something pulled her towards the cold lost boy, but the lack of courage would not let her talk to him. If he felt the same?

Felix was intimidating to look at, it was like something was wrong with his face but Y/N could never tell what. His high pitched cheeks were sharp and narrow and there was an awful scar running along his left cheek up to his brows like an 'x'. The most creepy things were his eyes though, whenever she looked into them, she was willingly drowning in a cold puddle that dragged her deeper in. They pierced her, as if he knew every secret inside the girl's head. Nevertheless, he was not ugly, rather pretty to look at. When his blonde hair hung messy over his face and the way he smelled. Whenever she walked past him, she would smell pinewood and musk. Even though he was well known for his cruelty, the lost boy never raised his hand against Y/N, nor called her nasty things like the others did. She was not even sure on how to do it anyways. Felix always looked busy or like he did not want anyone to speak to him. When she thought of it, the girl could not remember one single boy really talking to the second in command except Pan, but then again,- they only talked about plans and other secrets. He was a mystery of his own, a riddle for Y/N to solve. She glanced over to him and saw that he was carving something into a piece of wood. The lanky lost boy had distanced himself from the other boys, having his seat on a log as closest to the forest as possible. Maybe she could strike a conversation about his passion for carving? He was doing that almost everyday without talking about it and when she thought about it, she had never seen the final results. After a while, courage overcame her, so she stood up and walked slowly into Felix's direction, already noticing in the corner of her eyes the disapproving and concerned looks of some boys. They started to talk quietly to each other and she instantly knew it was about her. Their eyes burned more on Y/N's skin with each step further towards Felix, making her feel nervous and jumpy. Rolling with her eyes at them, she still marched to the lanky blonde boy, stopping when she was close enough to him. The heads of the lost boys instantly shot away, as if they felt too scared to let Felix know about their curiosity when he lifted his heavy head from his broad shoulders.

Felix's eyes darted up, his mouth shut tight and his facial expression went blank like always. His look told Y/N that he was strong, but never how he felt. She tried to say something, but the words got stuck in her throat. Unable to speak, she stared with a deadpan face back at the second in command, trying to find an excuse for her behaviour. The idea with the wood seemed so dumb suddenly and she wished she could just melt into the ground or simply disappear as the lost boy stared back at her, locking their eyes and waiting for her to say something.

"Have you seen Pan?" Y/N choked out and sounded calmer than she expected to be. The blonde boy raised an eyebrow suspiciously and nodded behind him into the dark forest. Big trees hovered high up into the sky, all around the clearing, hiding every view. It was pitch black. Y/N swallowed at the sight of the dark woods and she shook her head slowly, feeling so scared of the unknown dangers. There was no reason for her to see Pan, the leader was not a pleasant person himself and the lie only made her more anxious. 

"I think it wasn't important anyways." She mumbled unsure and turned around, feeling how her whole face heatened up at the fact that she talked to the mysterious second in command. Suddenly, the tall boy grabbed her by the wrist, causing her to turn and face him again.

"I'll bring you to him, if you feel scared to go alone." He said dry and rose to his feet, tall and intimidating. The girl was so small next to him, peeking up to him again as her limbs lightly started to tremble. Felix glanced down at her and again, she shook her head slowly. The girl did not know if he simply did not notice it, but when the lost boy shoved her into the pitch black, terror overcame her. What was he doing? Not daring to say a word, before the light around her vanished, she only felt the lost boy's hand on her back as he pushed her gently forwards. Her heart was pounding so hard, she feared he might feel it. Where the hell would he bring her? Where was Pan all the time? 

"Don't." Y/N winced and turned on her heels, running past Felix back into the camp. The lost boy instantly jumped around and stormed after her, chasing her across the clearing towards some big trees. She tripped over one of their big roots, almost crashing down but still finding her balance. This was the moment Felix jumped at the girl, crashing down with her, his heavy weight pressing the air out of her lungs. The lost boy spun her around and pinned her arms down on the floor before she could take a sharp inhale. Y/N tried to free herself in panic, but she could not move at all, when the slender boy straddled her and held her down. The colours in Y/N's  face faded away and her heart pumped wild inside her as if it were about to explode, unable to tell if she felt excited or scared. Maybe a healthy mix of both. She was sure he did not want to hurt her. Frankly, he never did.

"Why in the hell are you running from me." He asked angry, slightly confused and she thought even a bit hurt as he pressed his brows strictly together. 

"Don’t hurt me." She muttered and the pale boy frowned. He loosened his grip and swiftly rose to his feet and pulled his hood back over his head, then strutted quickly away, not even giving her a last glance. 

That was strange, she thought. Her heart was still beating furiously. What happened? The lost boy scared her and made her feel like burning at the same time. She took a deep breath and raised to her feet, wiping the dirt off her clothes. Felix was a strange guy and he only confused Y/N. Why did he just stand up and leave? She was not dumb and clearly could add two and two together. But it could not be that the second in command had some interest in her, why should he? The boy barely spoke to the girl, even when they had chores together. Y/N remembered one of the first days, when Pan sent them both to get some dreamshade and the tall blonde did not even let her near one of those plants, not even mentioning why. When he held the filled glasses, the boy walked a big distance between her back to camp, giving her the feeling of not being wanted. Later she had learned the dangers of it and Felix's strange behaviour now. It was an easy addition but she needed to be sure, not even knowing how to deal with this information.

If I am right.

The next day Felix clearly avoided her. Whenever he felt like she was too close, the lost boy would quickly find another place to go. She did not want to ask any of the boys about it, not wanting them to know, but it was obviously something off. They would not answer her anyways, only giving her questioning looks. After that weird situation in the evening before, the second in command completely vanished. There was no big effort to look for him and when the girl went to bed, she completely forgot about him. He had not given her any duties yet, so she took her chance and left the camp to take a shower and later gather some fruits and seeds, everything edible the Island would offer her without having to kill. She did not know how to hunt and was not sure if she could even catch an animal. Peter once told her that his best man would teach her to hunt, but Felix always seemed to be so busy that she simply never asked him to. At first she had avoided the blonde, lanky boy, not knowing his temper. He had scared her so much but now she could not stop thinking of how he had straddled her and how much she liked it. This was stupid. She barely knew Felix and still Y/N pictured herself with him in so many daydreams now. It was always easier to dream about someone and she was not crazy enough to consider anything about the rough boy. But where would he be? What is he doing right now? God, she needed to stop thinking about Felix. She was overthinking. 

The time passed by and Y/N found herself at the clearing again, watching two boys fight in the distance, with a small crowd around to cheer their violence. Her eyes wandered over the whole area, searching for the second in command. He sat far away next to a few older lost boys that hollered around while drinking some rum. Since Felix would not let them do anything, the only possible solution for the boys was to drink and do stupid things that would not bother the tall scarred one. They were drinking more alcohol than any adult could ever handle. The girl's eyes shifted over the group, seeing how they stumbled and swayed around. Felix sat on a log with his own bottle of rum in his hands, he kept his distance from the other boys, observing them with a blank expression but it was visible that he was drunk, too. When he saw Y/N entering the camp, the second in command's head spun around, meeting her gaze and she could swear his face lightened up.

"Y/N!" Someone big yelled excitedly and jumped at her from the side, almost swaying her off her feet before she could even think of the name "Felix".

"Drink with us!" The chubby boy cheered with a dizzy voice. His dark, bushy eyebrows hung deep over his small eyes and he wrinkled his nose, making a nasty, slimy sound, reminding her of a mull. He was not pretty to look at, mean and vicious, sometimes insulting for no reason. He was that kind of a boy who would mock one and still complain when they did not want to be his friend. 

"No, tha-"

"DRINK!" The chubby boy repeated himself more aggressively and grabbed Y/N's wrist to stop her from leaving before she could even try getting away. His fat fingers would definitely leave a mark later as she furiously tried to yank herself  free.

"YOU ARE HURTING ME!" Y/N whined and buried her nails into his wrist, but the lost boy would not let go.

"It will be fun! Don't be such a lame ass." He gave back and tightened his grip. Felix, who had watched the whole scene from a distance, immediately jumped to his feet and stormed towards them, yanking the boy away and threw him violently into the mud. He gave him the most powerful kick that his anger would provoke, that the sound of the fat lost boy's scream caught everyone's attention. 

"I will snap your fucking neck!" Felix threatened so calmly that the other boys would not even hear it as he pressed his jaw together, his hands forming into fists that his knuckles turned white. The chubby moonface groaned dizzy and turned onto his stomach, trying to lift himself drunkenly out of the sludge. With a closer look, Y/N understood why they all called him Piggy, instead of Mull. He turned his head confused around before he would drop back onto the ground again. The girl's eyes widened at the sight of this cruelty, even though she felt relieved and maybe a little entertained to see Piggy like this. He truly deserved it. On the other hand, she wondered why Felix came so quickly to help after he had tried his best to get out of her way. Y/N's cheeks burned up and she knew it would be the perfect moment to talk to him.

"Go." Felix said. He turned to her and shoved her gently away from the boys towards the tents. His big hand warmed her comfortably on her back, waking the butterflies in her stomach and causing her to shiver. The second in command rested one one of his arms on the girl's shoulder to keep his balance as he swayed between the tall bushes forwards between the trees.

"You should go to sleep." The lost boy said huskily, stopping in front of her tent, his grey eyes staring at the closed curtains. The excitement inside Y/N turned into disappointment when she saw where this actually went, so she stared irritated at the tent as Felix pulled his arm away and stepped away, slowly heading back. 

"I am not tired!" Y/N gave back and knitted her brows together, confused why he just left her now. He could have stayed at the camp instead of joining her in the first place. Why come all this way up here? Felix's head spun around before turning back to stop right in front of the girl. He bent down to face her and made it possible to smell the alcohol in his breath as she stared into his gray eyes illuminated by the pale moonlight. The messy, ashen hair hung half over his face,- Y/N liked so many things about him and right now he was so perfect. He has never been that close before, except when he had tackled her.

"The boys aren't so well behaved," The second in command snickered. "Especially not in that state."

Y/N giggled when she thought of Felix acting like he was a good boy, after all those terrible things he did. There was a reason why he was second in command of this brutal gang and he proved it by the way he treated Piggy. 

"And you're not?" She gave back quite bravely, raising an eyebrow cockily. Felix chuckled low to himself, slightly shaking his head before he gave her a smirk, showing his white palette of perfectly lined up teeth.

"If you want me to," Felix purred and wiggled with his brows. "I'll be whatever you want."

The girl felt goosebumps spread all over her body at his words and for a moment, she just stared speechless back at him, unable to say a word and wanting nothing more than kissing those pink lips. Felix was drunk, he could not think straight and definitely did not mean what he said. The lost boy's breath tickled hers and she noticed how close he was and how she just had to lean in, to steal a kiss. There was no way she would risk it, well aware that Pan loved games and she could not let the thought go, his best man would love them as well. 

"Do you have any suggestions?" She asked as her nose touched his, her lips almost on his as she gently ran her hands over his chest. Felix ignored the question, moving instinctively and rough, grabbing Y/N's neck and pulling her in to close the distance between their mouths. His tongue was warm and tasted like liquor, still it did not bother her at all, when he vividly explored the inside of her mouth. Felix's hands vanished under her hair, grabbing her head and pressing the girl firmer against him while his intoxicated mind led his actions. Y/N gasped surprised into the kiss, not expecting him to do this even though it was what she wished for. Felix was way taller than her and for the moment he was forced to bend down at her height, holding her in his broad arms that pressed her tightly against his chest. When Felix’s pulled away, his eyes were still shut and he ran his thumb over Y/N's lips, licking his own and let out a gasp when he realised that he did not only imagined to do that. Then his eyes widened and she could see that he realised for the first time what just happened, what he just did.

"Sorry…" Felix mumbled unbelievingly and shook his head with widened eyes. He pushed her harshly away and rose to his feet, quickly checking full terror if someone had watched it.

"I was-" Felix spoke hoarse and slowly took a step back, then another one, a few more, until he turned on his heels and sprinted quickly away,  not finishing what he tried to say. 

Y/N stood there for a moment as if she were stuck in place, not able to process what just happened. With a swift movement she stormed through the curtains of her tent towards her bed to hide under the covers. She grabbed a pillow, held it against her face and screamed inside it. It was hard to tell if she felt excited or embarrassed. Felix kissed her, so why should she be worried about something? Maybe it was a test and she failed? Hell no, that would be some serious bullshit if that were the first explanation and she had seen his reaction. The way he held her and how he tasted heatened her up. Every cell inside her body craved for more.

No, what are you doing, she thought and shook her head, replaying that scenario in her head over and over again like a broken record. With a swift move she rolled onto her back and stared up at the curtain ceiling, hoping to find an answer to what her next step could be. If the lost boys would find out, they would never stop talking about it, maybe even start to think she was easy to have. Y/N gulped and squinted her eyes at the thought of them all trying to hit on her. Felix was different though. He was tall and intimidating, his cold stare would pierce through her with a burning desire and his smell intoxicated her mind. Whenever he was around, she could barely think straight, desperately wanting to figure out what laid beneath that cold facade. Never in a thousand years, she could have guessed that he liked her back. On the other hand, he was not able to make proper decisions drunkenly and maybe Y/N was encouraging herself too much. There was almost nothing she knew about the tall boy and falling for him that fast could only harm herself in the end. 

Y/N closed her eyes and brought her fingers to her lips, touching them, while imaging to feel Felix's on them again and remember what they tasted like. The second in command barely spoke to her and now that? There was definitely more behind it. It had to. Her other hand slowly wandered over her stomach to pull up the dress, slipping a finger inside to play with herself. It was not the first time she thought of him while touching herself, but this time something was off. Deep inside her something stopped Y/N, no matter how aroused she already was. She needed to talk to Felix. Under no circumstances she would let him ignore her for days again. Yanking the blanket away, Y/N jumped out of the bed and eagerly left the tent, turning her head furiously around to find the tall boy. He did not sit next to the others anymore and when she walked downhill to his cabin, she could feel her heart pumping furiously inside her chest. The girl stopped in front of the wooden door to knock and when no one answered she knocked again. 

"Felix!" She tried to be as loud as she could be while still not attracting someone else's attention. There was still no answer and she felt dumb for even thinking it was as easy as this to find him after the previous events. He could not be far, the lost boys still needed someone who had an eye on them before someone could get hurt. Their hollering was still audible and the bonfire in the distance let Y/N see a few of them behind the bushes. For a moment she thought of going back to the clearing again, hoping to find Felix there, but the thought of meeting Piggy alone now was no good. 

"Y/N." The girl suddenly heard Felix’s raspy voice behind her and she turned dazzled around, the warmest smile sitting on her lips. 

Felix swayed dizzily into her direction, closing the gap between them two while he tried to keep his balance. The lost boy's head was too high up, making it impossible to steal a kiss from him now. 

"What are you doing here? I told you to sleep." He asked nervously and pulled her away from his cabin towards the trees, his head constantly turning to look if someone watched. When he placed his hand on the girl's back again, his touch sent electric waves through her spine and she wondered how his slender finger would feel on her bare skin.

"Did you drink more?" She asked, noticing how he swayed more and the second in command vividly shook his head in response, grinning like a small boy on a sunny day. 

"You have."

"No."

"Yes."

"Uh-Uh."

"I can cleanly tell-"

"I am-," Felix grabbed Y/N gently by the back of her neck and pulled her in, his face coming closer again. "-Not. Drunk."

She started to laugh and leaned into his grip, bringing her own hand up to touch his scar. Felix's blue eyes melted when he felt her fingers, closing them and relaxing as her touch traced as light as a feather down his skin. He relaxed for a moment and enjoyed the touch on his scarred skin, before he suddenly woke out of trance.

"The boys better not see us." He cleared his throat and broke apart, letting go of her.

"No one saw us, Felix." His name echoed through the dark forest like honey and Y/N grabbed his hand tight- she was way smaller than his. The girl felt Felix's breath in her face, how his nose almost touched hers and before he could do anything she had already closed the gap between them two, pressing her lips against his. Felix moaned surprised into her mouth but instantly grabbed her cheeks and slid his tongue inside. She could still taste the liquor and wondered if she might have taken advantage of this situation. The tall boy's moans told her otherwise. He moved his hands slowly towards the girl's waist down to her ass, cupping it rough while her smell intoxicated his senses. 

"We shouldn't." He whispered and she heard him move even though it was too dark to see. Nevertheless Felix pressed himself harder against her and she felt through his pants how hard he already was from only kissing. 

"Why not." She breathed against his neck, leaving a trail of kisses.

"The boys," Felix said, his eyes rolling back with a soft moan when he felt her tongue on his throat. It was enough to convince the second in command, his fingers wandered over her delicate body, burying them inside her tender flesh. It's been a long time since someone touched Y/N and she could not resist the lost boy's demanding hands. He lifted her dress and wandered with his palm over her skin to the rim of the underwear, enjoying the small moans when his fingers wandered further to her inner thigh, drawing invisible circles on it.

"Felix…" His grip tightened when he heard the girl purr his sweet name in the most delicious way and he almost could not hold himself back to tear her clothes off right at this place. The lost boy dared to slip one of his fingers inside Y/N's panties and when she did not complain, he pushed his slender index inside of her, feeling how her soft walls tightened around him. If Felix had not realised it earlier, he knew at least by now how much she craved him when he felt how wet she already was. Y/N let out a gasp when he started to push his long finger in and out of her, causing the girl's legs to tremble and her knees to shiver in excitement. She closed her eyes, giving up trying to see something in the dark as she melted into Felix's arms, her face sliding down onto his shoulder. She found her balance by grabbing the lost boy's leg and then she realised that he was kneeling in front of her. Y/N was actually glad that the surroundings were pitch black, feeling her cheeks heating up in embarrassment from her uncontrollable sweet moans. Before she would absolutely lose her mind, the girl managed to push the lost boy slightly away from her while her hands moved down to his belt. Her fingertips ran over the leather and the lost boy instantly frowned at her touch, his whole body stiffened and he stopped moving for a second.  

"W-wait." He stammered, the adrenaline pushing the dizziness of the alcohol away. "I-I… never…" he continued and stopped, his hands wrapped around Y/N's wrist, insecurities overwhelming him as he held her in a safe distance. Now she really wished to see his face, well aware that he must look like earlier when he kissed her, startled and somehow shy.

"Well," she replied after a small pause, her voice echoing clear through the night, "Neither have I."

There was an awkward silence between them two and if the lost boy would not hold her by her hips, she would probably believe he was gone by now. The second in command was embarrassed for no reason, what did he fear? Y/N had no clue how to do this and if she was honest, it was way more appealing that Felix was a virgin, too, even though she did not expect that. All the time she thought he was so confident and now he was so vulnerable to her. The lost boy still did not speak, so she bent into another kiss, hoping to catch his lips in the dark. Felix gasped when he felt her lips on his scar and pulled the girl back in.  This was good, they did not need to talk- should not talk. It would only make this weird. Talking would come naturally. Felix grabbed Y/N's hands gently and brought them back to his belt for her to continue what she had started. She let her fingers trail over the leather to his buckle to open it, enjoying the moment when she opened the button of his pants and slowly pulled down his zipper. The lost boy moaned inside her mouth when she slid her hand into his pants, pumping his hardened cock as best as the tight cotton would allow her to. Felix noticed her struggle and broke apart from the kiss to lift himself up and take off his clothes. Y/N heard how each piece of clothing dropped onto the ground while she waited to be told to do the same. 

"Should I keep my dress on or-"

"Keep it on." Felix ordered and chuckled to himself, then pulled her back against him, his cock pressing against her stomach. The lost boy let his hands slide under the girl's dress and pulled down her panties for more access, then kneeled naked in front of her while his fingers did their magic. They felt so long and strange, making Y/N wonder if she could even handle Felix's cock. He already felt so big in her hand when she touched him again, fully exposed and hardened. The lost boy lifted one of her legs over his broad shoulder and before Y/N could even figure out what he was doing, Felix pressed his tongue against her clit. She let out a surprised gasp and giggled at the ticklish sensation. The lost boy felt how tense her leg was and reached for the girl's hand, holding it and drawing invisible circles on her palm. 

"Relax." He lifted his head and lightly squeezed her fingers, caressing it a little, then pushed his mouth against her slit, his hot breath warming her as his tongue slid over her clit. The comfort of his touch relaxed Y/N instantly as if the lost boy had enchanted her somehow. He pressed his rough tongue harder against her, burying his face between her legs as he ate her out. The girl could not control herself to keep her from moaning, but led the boy's pace with it, whenever something felt good. He buried his nails into the tender flesh of her thighs and with a swift move he pushed the girl down onto the ground, pushing his fingers faster into her. She could not tell which was tongue or fingers, the overflowing sensation spread inside her body up to her eyes as she felt how she got closer to her orgasm. When Felix’s jaw started to ache he broke apart, breathing heavily and leaving Y/N craving for more on the cold ground in the exact moment she would almost finish. Without saying a word the lost boy pulled himself up to her, placing some sloppy kisses on her mouth before placing his arms next to her, so that his weight would not be too much.

"I want you so much." He panted while he slowly let his thumb circle over her aroused clit. 

"Felix-" She pressed her lips onto his and stroked his hardened dick and pulled his torso closer to lead him to her wet entrance. The lost boy let out an uncontrollable moan as he pressed his dick against her dripping slit that already craved him so hard, slowly gliding in to make the girl feel every piece of his mighty cock. He stayed in this position for a moment to adjust this feeling and Y/N felt herself tighten around him, excitement overwhelming her body along with the smell of the lost boy intoxicating her mind.

"Fuck!" Felix hissed as he started to move in a steady motion. His lips caught her once more, pulling her into a long, passionate kiss. Y/N took a sharp breath and pushed her hand against his abdomen, when the lost boy moved, feeling like getting torn apart by him. The lost boy stopped for a moment, shoving one arm under her neck to hold her while his lips softly traced over her chest. After a short moment,  Felix moved again. Y/N buried her nails into his skin and rolled her eyes back as the lost boy thrusted into her core, slowly feeling herself relaxing in this position after a few strokes. The pain faded away and she melted into Felix's body as if he was meant to hold her. The sweetest words kept unsaid, too embarrassing, too emotional, still, there was something inside them both that felt more than just enjoying sex. It was Felix who took her virginity and the thought of being the one who took his let her heart skip faster. The second in command felt like a dream,- his sweaty, hot skin pressed tight against hers, his abs flexed and hardened during every move and he was just so fucking tall. Felix moved both of his hands down and cupped her naked butt, lifting Y/N up and pressing her against the bark of a tree. He buried his fingers into her tender flesh and left a trail of kisses on her neck as far as he would reach her. The lost boy held Y/N as if she weighed nothing, pressing her body tightly against his skin. She could not resist sinking her teeth into his neck, sucking on the delicate spot until she was sure he would not leave without a mark. As soon as Felix realised what she was doing, he pulled her head back by her hair. To his own surprise, she let out a light moan, feeling even more excited from his big hand in them. 

"The boys can't know." Felix purred into Y/N's ear before he licked over her neck, sinking his teeth lightly into her shoulder to hold him back from letting out another moan. 

"Harder!" The girl commanded for Felix's surprise, who had already thought he was already being too rough with her. The lost boy followed the order, pressing himself tighter against her before he paced up, pumping in and out. The sudden sensation flooded Y/N's body and she knew there was something building up inside her, an indescribable feeling of being high. Felix moans got higher, sometimes even stuck in his throat and she was sure he was close too and that he desperately wanted to climax. Before she could realise it, Felix swayed them back onto the ground, gripping her ankles and pressing them against his legs as she wrapped her arms around his neck to capture the lost boy in another kiss. 

"I am almost-" Felix spoke in a hoarse tone. It was so dark and Y/M really wished she could see his face at this moment. Felix was so vulnerable right now and even though his moans were the most beautiful melody in her ears, just the thought of a short glimpse of his face made her feel hotter.

"Felix." She purred when he suddenly hit a spot that would not stop making her feel like being on ecstasy. 

"I-." She gasped when the knot inside her stomach released and she felt her orgasm roaring through her body with thousands of tiny, electric waves. Jaw clenched and eyes pinched, Felix gave it to her in short, powerful bursts, filling her up with throbbing pumps. His abs flexed and his hands tightened around her ankles. He cursed. His body tensed, and she swore she felt his cock pulsing inside of her as he came in waves, thrusting in and out until he felt himself getting soft.

"Fuck…" Felix let her legs fall to the side as he bent to rest his head on her sweaty chest. "That was…"

She combed her fingers through his messy hair, almost out of words how incredibly good she felt. "That was something."

"Yeah." He kissed the spot between her breasts, "It was."

Felix pulled his dick out, not even seeing the mess he made but still wanting more. Neither of them wanted that night to end and for a while, Felix tried to find his clothes and Y/N thought of how she would clean herself up.

"C'mon." Felix whispered and she heard him step away. 

"Wait!" Y/N called and quickly grabbed her underwear- well, the only choice right now-, cleaning herself with it, before running after the tall blonde and crashing into his back.

"Easy, love." He chuckled and grabbed her under one of his arms and strutted towards the dark in one direction, knowing this place perfectly, even drunkenly and without light. 

"Where are we going?" The girl asked after what felt like an eternity for her, but in reality it was just a few minutes. The trees left some space for the moonlight now and gave her a chance to take a peak from the second in command's happy face. His cheeks were dyed a deep scarlet and his hair hung messy and full sweat down his face. 

"Trust me." He said and paced a little up before he came to halt in front of a big tree, the ladder up to it vanished behind some leaves. Felix climbed up first and lifted the girl up into the tree house when reached the trap door. Felix moved towards a small night desk and lit up a candle. As soon as the light flooded the room, Y/N saw the small cot and a self-made desk under one of the closed windows. 

"I built it myself." The lost boy grinned and proudly watched the awe in her face. She swirled around and looked at some little carvings that were placed on the wooden table. Some of them looked like her. When Y/N's eyes detected the little sculpture, she finally understood why she never saw the results and why he burned one earlier. The girl turned around to say something, but Felix stopped her immediately. Before she could say anything, Felix dropped down onto one knee and pulled her into a kiss. His tongue slid over her lips, begging for permission to enter. Without thinking about it, she opened her mouth and felt the lost boy's hand on her hips, pressing her against his body. 

"I never thought you would like me too." Felix moaned and eagerly kissed his way down her neck, back to her face and lips, repeating the same thing on the other side and showing how hungry he still was for the girl. Felix clearly had not been touched in a while, just like Y/N, so it was quite natural that they immediately would have a moment like this sooner or later. But why Felix? What was about him that made Y/N constantly crave more, causing her to feel like an addict without his drugs, whenever his lips left hers? Her cheeks heated up and she smiled in the kiss, thinking of the previous events, how Felix's hands felt on her skin. It was special to be with him and the girl's instincts told her that it was more than just sex, that Felix wanted more, too. 

"I want you again." Felix licked over his lips and looked at Y/N through half-opened eyes before he slowly melted back into another kiss, this time slow and passionate, synchronising with her while his hands moved down her hips and legs. He gently rubbed his hand against her inner thigh and wandered towards her crotch, to shove a finger inside her still wet hole. He smirked dirty when he felt his mess. Y/N wanted him so much, just like he craved her, maybe even a little more. 

"I want to get naked all night long." Felix purred as he pushed his fingers inside and out of Y/N, her light moans echoing in his ears. Without further commands, the girl slipped the dress over her shoulder, letting it elegantly slide down her now exposed body. Felix's cheeks flushed up into the deepest red, his eyes admiring every sight of her that he desired for so long, and truth be told, he was in awe. When the cotton touched the floor, the lost boy grabbed for the hem of his own shirt and ripped it off, then quickly unbuttoned his pants before he crossed them with his underwear through the room. When Felix pinned her down and pulled Y/N into another kiss, he was already hard again, his hot skin burning against hers as her mind drifted off into a feeling of ecstasy. The way Felix's hands trailed down her body gave her chills once more, kept her warm and made her feel wanted. 

"Pan would kill us for this." She mumbled into the kiss when the girl thought of how he protected her earlier, something he never did before and sure did not keep unnoticed to the other boys as well. It worried Y/N for a moment, thinking about how Pan always found out every secret, no matter how little it was. And this was definitely not a small secret, something that could be obvious to others. Or maybe Y/N was just paranoid. 

"Relax." Felix said, frowning at her words as if the same thought had bothered him for a while now, too. "He isn't here. He won't find out."

The blonde boy rolled over onto his back, pulling the girl with him so she would straddle him. The light of the candle danced over his sharp features, letting it shine in an orange light that spread down to his muscles, constantly catching her eyes as if they were glued on him. Felix always looked beautiful in the orange light of the fire. Every night she would catch herself staring at him. He was perfect. 

"You look so beautiful." Felix whispered more to himself than to her, then wiped some hair out of her face. "Unbelievable that someone like you chose someone weird like me."

Before Y/N could correct him, the second in command already captured her lips with his own, burying one hand in her hair while he kneaded one of her breasts with the other one. His words only flattered the girl and she felt the burning desire to finally be one with him again and melt into his body. Felix gasped at her touch and moaned into her mouth when she wrapped her hand around his dick, slowly pumping up and down while gently rubbing at the delicate tip. His member felt long and thick in her hands, but did not scare her off like earlier. Placing the tip at her wet entrance, she slowly slid down onto him, relieved that the lost boy did not push against back,. The stretching feeling made her feel like getting torn apart all over again and she  gave herself a moment to adjust to the size. The lost boy rolled his eyes back and shut them with a loud moan when he felt her walls tightened around, rubbing his thumbs against the tender flesh of her  hips, when she finally started to slowly move up and down. Seeing the ruthless second in command like this was really stunning and lovely to look at. Felix's mouth was slightly agape and the muscles on his forehead were constantly twitching, moving his eyebrows constantly around. Never had Y/N seen so much emotion in his face before. She  pressed her body against the lost boy and sucked at the tender part of Felix's neck. The lost boy used that moment as a chance to turn her over, holding Y/N tight in his arm, the other one holding his weight so he would not suffocate her while he was pumping in and out. Y/N moaned in ecstasy and ran her hands over his muscular back, feeling his skin against them and how his sweat dropped onto her body. She placed her legs on each side of his, clearly noticing the height difference and feeling like a delicate doll as he embraced her. Felix paced up and she rolled her eyes back when he entered in another angle to come even deeper. She never wanted this to stop and kept feeling how the lost boy filled her with his thick manhood, smelling his scent and feeling his hot skin burning against hers. Felix kissed his way down to her chest and caught one of her nipples between his lips, lightly starting to suck on them and intensing it with each time he thrusted in. These were the final strokes that caused Y/N's legs to shiver and tense up every muscle in her body as her climax roared through her whole body, up into her eyes into the back of her head. The lost boy grabbed Y/N's shoulders and when he came, too, the light of the candles danced in his beautiful, scrunched up face. It was a lie to say she did not like that view and the squeaking sound he made when Felix felt his orgasm deep inside her with throbbing pumps. Felix rolled next to the girl, trying to catch his breath and when he did so, he grabbed a towel from the bed for her. 

"We could have used the bed." Y/N broke the soothing silence after a while and Felix chuckled, then nodded in agreement.  

"Next time." He grinned, pulling his boxers up and placing himself back onto the ground. His eyes did not stop looking at the girl while she grabbed her dress and pulled it back over herself. For a long time they just looked at each other, laughing and giggling, kissing each other but remaining silent. This was clearly something none of them expected to happen. 

"What do you see in me?" Y/N suddenly asked, caughting the lost boy off guard, his facial expression went into full confusion. It took him a moment to think about her question before he simply smiled. His eyes would always melt at her sight and in that moment she needed no words from him to realise how much he was in love with her. The lost boy pulled Y/N closer to him and placed her head against his chest, lifted her on his arms and carried her to the bed where he would let himself fall onto the soft mattress. His legs hung over the wooden frame as he gently rubbed his hands over her back while listening to the beat of his heart. 

"I would never let anyone harm you." His voice was just a warm breeze on her earlobe, tickling her like a gentle kiss. 

"What about Pan?" She asked after a while and took a glimpse at his relaxed face and how her question did not seem to have woken any worries inside him now. He had brushed it off earlier.

"I think, actually, he knew way before me." Felix chuckled low and shook his head unbelieving. "He gave me a chance I got wasted."

[theladyofdeath]

The Viscount Who Loved Me {Eighteen, Part II}

TVWLM Masterlist

CHAPTER WARNING: NSFW 18+

An A Court of Thorns and Roses fanfiction, inspired by the first 2 seasons of Bridgerton.

Written alongside @snelbz

Ships: Nesta x Cassian x Elain - Feyre x Rhysand - Elain x Azriel x Gwyn

Summary: (see TVWLM masterlist!)

A/N: Thank you for reading! The most heartbreaking of smut...

Tag list is at the end. If you’d like to be added, please comment below or submit an ask. :)

My Loyal Readers,

The Viscount has finally found his match! The Diamond of the season has captured his heart and their wedding is being held by the Queen herself.

Even so, did anyone notice that the oldest Archeron sister disappeared right after the announcement of their engagement? Perhaps she is jealous that she was not the one who won the Viscount's heart all those years ago.

Pity.

The Suriel

Nesta was dropped off at home but she watched the carriage depart before going to the stables and preparing her horse.

She was at Cassian’s manor within the hour. 

With the ball still ongoing, she figured Cassian would still think her there, would not be expecting her for hours yet.

But when she got to that spot in the woods where he had comforted her, where they had kissed, there he was.

A heap of blankets was strung across the ground. Candles littered the fallen logs, creating a glow. Cassian sat on one of the blankets, legs outstretched and ankles crossed, his back against one of the tree trunks. He read a book in the candlelight.

When Nesta came into view, his eyes were immediately on her, the pages he had been studying long forgotten.

“I hadn’t expected you to be here,” she breathed, gathering up her skirts, careful not to get too close to the small flames. He’d stood as she approached, book tossed to the side.

“I wasn’t sure whether you’d attend the ball tonight.” He took in her attire, knowing the answer. “Anything happen that I should know about?”

She should have told him about her hand in his best friend’s sudden engagement to her sister, should have told him that his name was being dragged through the mud while Elain had come out of their engagement unscathed, should have told him about her encounter with the queen.

But instead, Nesta shook her head, taking a step closer, and said, “I don’t want to talk about the ball.”

Reaching for her hand, Cassian breathed. “Neither do I. You look…” His gaze dipped, leaving her face and skimming down her body. “I can’t even find the words to describe how beautiful you look.”

From anyone else’s lips, Nesta would have rolled her eyes, but as Cassian complimented her, her cheeks heated. “It’s Feyre’s dress. I’ve packed all mine.”

Cassian’s eyes flashed, but he brushed his thumb along the back of her hand. “I wish you did not plan to leave.”

“Me either,” she admitted, quietly, “but I must.”

“I know,” he said, and brushed her hair back behind her ear. Nesta leaned into his touch. “I understand, but it does not make it any easier to endure.”

Nesta nodded and stepped closer to him. “I do not wish to speak of that right now, if that is okay with you.”

Cassian nodded, his other hand snaking out to grab her waist and pull her closer to him. Her heart leapt at his touch. “Then what is it you wish to speak of?“

“I don’t want to speak at all,” she breathed, and his eyes darkened as a small smile graced his lips. 

“I am afraid I do not know what you’re implying,” he said, although he surely did. 

She nudged his shoulder. “You are insufferable, my lord.”

“As are you,” he quipped, arms tightening around her, “my lady.”

She kissed him.

Before that smart mouth of his could say anything more, she jolted on her toes and pressed her lips tenderly to his. 

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she clung to him, molding her body to his. It was nothing like the kiss they’d shared the night before. This was the kiss they’d been longing to share since they first laid eyes on each other. The kiss was an undoing, yet at the same time it was as if everything was finally clear.

Nesta loved him. She loved this impossibly frustrating man, who had turned her entire world upside down. She wasn’t supposed to love him and he wasn’t supposed to love her, but Nesta had no doubt that he did, not as he cupped the back of her head and tightened his arm around her waist, carefully lowering her to the blankets.

Even though Cassian laid his body over hers, she noticed that he kept himself off of her, not putting any of his weight on her.

That simply wouldn’t do.

Nesta wasn’t a short woman. She was a good two inches taller than most women, and Cassian was nearly head taller than her. His height had been one of the things that captivated her from the beginning.

Her arms left his shoulders, instead gripping the front of his shirt and tugging him down until he lay atop her.

Cassian’s grunt in response gave Nesta only a second of notice before his kiss became savage.

She had kissed men before in the past - well, boys really, in her adolescence. But Cassian did not kiss like a boy. He had a hunger that sent chills through her body, a hunger that only a man would know, a hunger that can only be satisfied by that of a woman. She ran her fingers through his hair and moaned quietly as he nipped her bottom lip between his teeth.

That little sound only intensified his movements. His tongue pushed its way between her lips as his hand trailed down the side of her body, to her thigh. He inched her skirt up until he was touching skin, pulling her leg over his waist. He sank into her and Nesta had never felt so alive. 

She clawed at his tunic, pulling it loose from his trousers before making quick work of the buttons. His lips never left her skin. They trailed across her jaw and down her neck, over her chest to where the swells of her breasts peaked out above her neckline.

The throbbing between Nesta’s thighs was nearly too much to handle. 

When his buttons were loosened, Cassian peeled off his shirt once he pulled himself back. With his knees on either side of her hips, he looked down at her and the gleam in his eyes was feral.

By the Mother, he was going to devour her.

She had never longed for anything more.

Before he could move, Nesta found herself reaching up, longing to touch him. She’d seen men shirtless before, in art pieces or competitions or even at the occasional boxing match she’d sneak off to. But the men had never looked like this.

Cassian’s body looked like a statue she’d seen once before, supposedly depicting a long forgotten god. His muscles seemed to be carved from the stone itself. Letting herself explore, she brushed her fingers along his abdomen, feeling the hard muscle and deep grooves that ran between each of them.

If she didn’t know better, Nesta would have thought she felt him shudder beneath her touch.

His hand closed around her wrist and she inhaled sharply, eyes immediately finding his. They glowed in the candlelight. It was clear he had no intention of pushing her hand away.

“Have you ever touched a man before, Nesta Archeron?” His words were soft, not meant to tease, but a genuine question. She shook her head, the use of her voice momentarily lost in her need for the man kneeling before. “And you’ve never been touched before?” Another shake of her head. His throat worked as he swallowed, his free hand finding her knee. The simple feel of his thumb drawing slow circles there nearly drove her mad. “I won’t pretend that I don’t want you, in every sense of the word. I need you to tell me you want this, want me.”

Nesta knew what he was saying without actually voicing it. But she was never going to be a wife, so her virtue was of no consequence at this point.

“Of course I want this, want you,” she breathed, and as if it were the most ridiculous thing to think otherwise, she added, “you fool.”

Cassian grinned, his eyes sensuous as he pushed himself up and stood. He held out his hand and Nesta took it with no hesitation.

“Good,” he whispered, and his fingers trailed along the top of her bodice. They lingered there as he stepped around her body. His fingertips trailed after him, over her shoulder and down her back until he was tugging at the bow in the middle of her back. Once hanging in ribbons at her sides, he undid the buttons beneath until the bodice was loose. He came back around to the front of her and Nesta could scarcely breathe as he pulled off one of her silk gloves, then the other. With her arms bare, he pulled down her sleeves, the dress falling with it until she was stepping out of it. Her undergarments were nothing too extensive, nothing too fancy, but his eyes still flared at the sight. 

Then he was on his knees before her. 

Without a word, Cassian pulled one of her feet onto his lap and unlaced her heeled boot. His fingers moved slowly, and with each passing second, Nesta’s heart began beating a little bit faster. Once her shoe was discarded, he reached up her thigh and rolled down her stocking. He repeated the same routine with her other leg. Once they were bare, his lips trailed kisses up each and Nesta gasped with each light touch. He trailed them up her leg, her abdomen, until he was standing again. Swallowing, Nesta’s breath hitched as he turned her around and began unlacing her corset.

“Is this okay?” he whispered.

“Yes,” she breathed, amazed she was able to get the word out.

He worked her corset with ease until it was another layer added to the heap on the ground. Even so, his hands continued to move but Nesta turned around. She placed a palm against his chest.

Instantly, Cassian stilled, hands falling to his sides. 

“Sorry, did I—”

His question of concern broke off as she stepped back and, looking him in the eye, removed the rest of her undergarments. She wanted to see his face the first time he saw her bare.

What a beautiful face it was.

His lips parted as his body tensed, those hazel eyes that she had spent restless nights dreaming about roamed her body as if there was not enough time to memorize every inch. She stood poised, with her chin held high and her back straight, loving the power that standing bare before him brought. 

“You…” he began, stepping forward, and she noticed the hardened bulge beneath his trousers that she so desperately wanted to set free. He shook his head. “Beautiful is not a strong enough word.”

So strange to have someone feel the same way about her as she did him.

“I want to see you.” She reached for him, her fingers blindly finding the ties and stays of his trousers.

Slowly pulling them loose, Nesta’s eyes were trained on him as he stepped back, bending to unlace his own boots, and then standing before her again. But when he hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his pants he paused. Nesta waited, but when she looked up at his face after a few seconds, she found him smirking at her.

As soon as he had her attention again, he pushed his pants over his hips, taking his undershorts with them, and then he stood before Nesta, as naked as she was.

And Nesta… Nesta had forgotten how to breathe at the sight of him. He was unbelievably thick, long and hard and even from across the blankets, Nesta had no idea how he was going to fit inside her.

As if he could read her thoughts, he quietly said, “I’ll be gentle.”

Her eyes snapped up to his face again and she found him watching her, eyes soft.

Feeling far more bold than she really felt, Nesta stepped forward, clearing her throat. She grazed a finger along his cock and he winced. “And if I don’t want you to be gentle?”

His eyes darkened, lust in his gaze, but he took her hand in his and brought it to his lips. “I will be regardless, at least at first. No matter how brave you’re acting, I know you’re nervous, and I also know that I won’t be getting into you until you’re good and ready. I want this to be an experience of pleasure, not of pain.”

Nesta knew there would be pain her first time, had learned that from the friends she’d had that had married and from the romance novels she hid from her father and sisters, and had accepted it as inevitable. She hadn’t known that during her first time, there could be pleasure that would override the pain, but knew if anyone would take care of her, it would be Cassian.

She reached up and took his face into her hands and kissed him. It was not gentle, not in the slightest, but she had never felt as safe as she did then, bare and wrapped in his arms. He led her back to the blanket, laying her down carefully before covering herself with his body. The kiss deepened, and it was a clash of teeth and a dance of their tongues. Nesta couldn’t get close enough to him.

With her fingers twisted into his hair, his mouth left hers and trailed down her body. Nesta closed her eyes as his lips found her breasts. He palmed one, brushing his thumb over her nipple as he sucked in the other, and at Nesta’s moan, his body jolted. He nipped at the sensitive nub and Nesta gasped, those fingers in his hair tightening, only urging him on. When he was done with one he switched to the other and when they were both left satisfied, his lips continued down her abdomen. With every inch he moved, Nesta grew more nervous, more excited. A thrill controlled her body and she feared she would soon combust.

Cassian stopped at her waist and spread her legs as wide as they’d go. Nesta suddenly felt vulnerable, but she was not afraid, not even as Cassian settled himself between her thighs and looked up at her.

She met his gaze with swollen lips and flushed cheeks as she asked, “What are you waiting for?”

The grin he gave her had that ache between her legs intensifying. 

“I would say that a please wouldn’t kill you,” he said, quietly, and she could feel the warmth of his breath against her most sensitive parts, “but I honestly don’t believe that to be true. It just might.”

She felt the need to reach down and shove at him, but she didn’t get the chance. His thumb ran between her folds, finding a warmth and wetness that had him groaning, deep in the back of his throat. He parted her and stared, memorizing the masterpiece that was before him before leaning down and running his tongue along the same path.

Nesta’s body tensed, but Cassian’s hands were there, holding onto her thighs, fingers brushing along her skin. “Relax,” he breathed, before repeating the motion again and again. Then he reached up, one hand abandoning her thigh and leaving it cold as he settled it between her breasts. She took his hand in hers and clung to it. 

His tongue explored, slowly, indolently, and Nesta’s eyes fluttered closed at the sensations it ignited in her. Once it reached the bundle of nerves, she gasped, hand tightening in his. He repeated the motion again, his thumb circling in the back of her hand at the same time. Licking her lips, Nesta admitted, “That feels…good.”

There was a pause and Nesta looked down at him, meeting his eyes. He trailed his tongue down her core again, stopping to tease her entrance, before gently sucking her clit between his lips.

Nesta was unable to stop the moan that tore from her, thankful that no one was around to hear her. She felt Cassian’s fingers tighten on her thigh at the sound, before releasing it all together. Just as she was about to beg him to touch her again, there was a slight pressure at her slit. One of his fingers slowly pushed into her, just a bit, until Nesta’s legs locked up, thighs closing around his head.

Turning his head, Cassian pressed a kiss to her inner thigh. “Breathe, sweetheart. Relax for me.”

She tried, she really did, but her body wasn’t listening to her.

“Look at me.”

She wouldn’t have been able to disobey if she wanted to. Her eyes found his and he pressed a kiss to her opposite thigh.

He was being so gentle.

There was a time when she would have never thought that this man could resemble anything close to gentleness, but that was another lifetime ago. He would take care of her, would guide her and give her what she needed. Her legs relaxed, as much as she could manage, and he pulled his finger out only to push it in again. He repeated the movement, slowly, each time going in a little deeper. Her hips began to shift beneath him, began to roll, that ache growing more agonizing by the second. Cassian’s lips were back on her, working in tandem with his plunging finger. 

That growing ache developed into something more. She couldn’t control the sounds that escaped her, not as an overwhelming feeling began to control her body, making it writhe, making it tremble. Around Cassian’s head, her knees shook, and it only urged him on. His movements grew faster and he did not stop, not as Nesta’s body locked up and she felt as if she would explode if he continued to do what he was so expertly doing. 

Which is exactly what she did.

She was pushed over the edge, crying out as she fell into nothingness, her entire body reacting to the intimate things Cassian had done. He continued to do them until Nesta’s body relaxed and the second he propped himself up, Nesta felt cold from the absence of his hand, his mouth.

She could see her release shining around his mouth, on his chin, as he crawled up her body. He licked his lips and Nesta shuddered.

He leaned down on his forearms, framing her face, and lowered his lips to hers. “Are you okay?” 

For a moment, Nesta just stared at him, as if she hadn’t understood his question. Blinking, she asked, “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

His lips tipped up, a smile that lifted just one side of his mouth. It was the cockiest damn expression she’d ever seen. “I just gave you your first orgasm. I wanted to make sure it hadn’t overwhelmed you.”

“I’d hate to disappoint you, my lord, but that was not my first orgasm.” The words were out before Nesta could rethink them, and her eyes flared as that smile grew.

She expected him to tease her, to point out the fact that she was clearly embarrassed, but instead he reached down, found her hand, and brought it to his lips. He kissed each of her fingers, before guiding it between their bodies. They skimmed over his erection, Nesta’s eyes growing wide, but he barely even reacted, a different goal in mind.

When he settled her hand over her own wet cunt, she swallowed roughly. He lowered his head until his lips were at her ear. “Show me how you touch yourself, Nesta.”

It was the most erotic thing someone had ever said to her and she nearly gave into the request. Instead, she lifted her hand, wrapping her fingers around his thick length. “I’d rather touch you.”

“Plenty of time for that later, love,” he grunted, not expecting her to be so bold. It was stupid of him, honestly.

His words made what they were doing more sharper, because no, there wouldn’t be plenty of time later. She would be gone in a matter of days, and while she wanted to explore his body, there was one thing she needed more than she wanted.

With her free hand, she threaded her fingers into Cassian’s hair, pulling his mouth to crash into hers in a brutal kiss. When she released her hold, both of them gasping for breath, she begged, “I need you to fuck me, Cassian.”

A low growl rumbled out of his throat as her words rushed over him. He searched her face for any trace of doubt but found none. 

Nesta had a feeling that this would be the moment that changed her life, that changed her. She had no idea if she would see Cassian again after this night, but this was how she wanted to remember him. She wanted to remember him as her first, wanted to remember him beneath the stars, in the candlelight, giving her something that no one else could. She was giving him this gift, her innocence, and she had never wanted to gift anything more.

“If you ever want me to stop, you tell me,” he whispered.

“I won’t,” she promised, her fingers brushing down the hard lines of his back. “Please don’t stop.”

His chest heaved as if every word she spoke made it more and more difficult for him to keep control. He teased her entrance with his finger, seeing how ready she truly was, and cursed. With her eyes locked on his, he replaced his finger with the head of his cock and pressed against her entrance. Nesta sucked in a breath and although it was natural for her to close her eyes, she did not. They remained on his, on the adoration and love that dwelled within them. No one had ever looked at her in the way that he did, in the way that he was now, and she swore that no one ever would again.

With a gentleness that made her want to weep from the purity of it alone, he leaned down and captured her lips with his as he pushed into her. He filled her, not at all at once, but slowly, inch by inch. All the while, he kissed her. It was nothing like the kisses that had led them to this point. No, they were kisses of comfort, him letting her know that he cared about her first time, that he wanted her to feel good, that he didn’t want to hurt her in the slightest. He pulled himself out and did the same thing again, this time going a little bit further, and he continued to repeat that until her body had relaxed, until she began to sink into his kiss, into the hold he had on her.

Then he slid into her further until she was full, and Nesta moaned at the feel of him. He leaned back to meet her eye, and all he found was lust and want and need. It had been uncomfortable at first, as he stretched her, as he had gone where no one had before, but she was ready. Gods, she was so ready. She needed him moving, needed him to do what she just knew he was good at.

“I’m okay,” she breathed, his forehead against hers as she began rocking her hips, pushing him up and sliding onto him once more. He groaned, and this time their kiss was not gentle, not at all. 

He sucked her bottom lip between his teeth as he set a steady pace, but Nesta’s head fell back and her eyes fell shut. She did not even try to stop the noises that escaped her, and she assumed Cassian liked those noises when his mouth explored her, his groans muffled by the skin of her neck. He wasn’t going fast, wasn’t going hard, not yet, but with each pass it felt better and better. 

Her hands swept across his back, into his hair, down to his waist until she was grabbing his ass. She couldn’t stop feeling him, wanted to feel all of him at once, never wanted her hands to leave the warmth of his skin. 

He murmured something against her neck, something she couldn’t quite comprehend as he ravaged her body, until he said it again, pulling back until he was gazing down at her.

“Don’t go.”

As he slid in and out of her, Nesta took in a shaking breath, not expecting his words. She framed his face with her hands and he leaned into her touch. “I have to.”

“You don’t,” he argued, gripping her hip and rocking into her. The way his pelvis rubbed against Nesta’s clit had her groaning, eyes fluttering shut. “Stay.”

Fighting against the oncoming orgasm, Nesta blinked, trying to clear her head. When she spoke, even she heard the disbelief in the slight laugh in her voice. “Stay? Stay where? My sisters despise me, the ton considers me an old hag despite being years from thirty, and the Queen uses my failed status as the Diamond to belittle me. Where in Velaris would I ever be welcomed?”

“Right here, with me.”

The sincerity in Cassian’s tone nearly broke her, nearly making the tears threatening to spill over her lashes unleash.

But she managed to stop herself, to keep those tears from running down the sides of her face, and pulled his face down to hers. As if it were a sin to speak it out loud, as if it were the dirtiest secret to ever be whispered, Nesta’s lips brushed Cassian’s as she breathed, “I love you.”

She felt his entire body, his entire being, shudder and then he was kissing her, giving her more of his weight, hips pinning hers to the blanket beneath them, grinding against her. He only moved to pull his hips out, slowly, inch by hard, thick inch, before thrusting back into her, harder than he had before.

Nesta’s mouth tore from his as she cried out, and he relished the sound of his name on her lips. “I love you.” His words were punctuated with the snap of his hips. “I want to fall asleep with you and wake up to you every morning. I want to know how you take your tea and what books you’ve read a dozen times.” Still, his hips snapped into hers relentlessly and Nesta thought she was going to combust. “I want to know every inch of you, inside and out. I can’t do that if you leave. So stay, Nesta, please.”

She could hold back those tears no longer. They fell down her cheeks and he was there, kissing them away. She didn’t know what to tell him, didn’t know how to let him know that there was no hope for her, for them. Even if it was what her heart desired, she simply could not stay in Velaris, not now, not after all that had happened.

Nesta clung to Cassian and cried out as she came, her release making her entire body tense. Cassian kept moving, his hips continuously thrusting into hers. As she came around him, he swore, the filthiest of curses tumbling from his mouth in a reverent plea. He found his undoing just after, pulling out and spilling onto her abdomen as Nesta watched, seeing just what it was she had done to him.

When he could not give anymore, his body fell on top of hers and they caught their breaths, slowly. She did not speak, nor did he. The words she held inside of her were unworthy of this moment.

I have to go.

I’m sorry.

This cannot be.

Nesta held onto him, her arms around his shoulders, as his mouth kissed her cheek, then her neck, until his head rested against her shoulder.

Neither of them said a word.

They simply remained in the silence of the aftermath of what they had done, of what they had accomplished, of what they had said with their bodies. They remained there as the night went on, both eventually falling asleep in the comfort of one another’s arms.

And Nesta knew that when Cassian woke, she would be long gone.

____________________________________________________________

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[kingexpl0sionmurder]

Body Electric - Kaminari Denki - Smut

Author: @kingexpl0sionmurder Pairing: Kaminari Denki/F!Reader Rating: 18+ (contains smut) Words: 5,491 Warnings: Sex work (Cam boy/girl), Quirkless AU, Aged-up Adult characters (someone is in grad school! wow!), mentions of masturbation (both male and female), mentions of casual ShinKami, established KiriBaku, Idk they are all just really sexually liberated and don’t care about watching each other cum. Is that voyeurism? I’m bad at tagging things. Title taken from a Lana Del Rey song. AN: Another BNHarem collab piece! The theme was sex work, and I have wanted to do a camboy Denki for a long time so here we go. This was really smutty in my head but Denki makes me soft and it turned out really cute in the end, I’m sorry? He’s such a dork I feel like any sexual encounter with him would just turn out like this in some way, idk.  Thanks to @unbreakablekiribaku​ and @sailorsero​ as usual for being supportive of me. Happy birthday to @lady-bakuhoe and @burnedbyshoto​ 🎂🎂 There is no one else I would rather be birthday triplets with!

Please check out the Collab Masterlist: HERE Look 👀 at My Masterlist: HERE Buy me a Kofi if you’re scared of clowns too: HERE

---

Sighing, you sat up on your elbows, squinting at the chat on the screen, willing your heart to stop pounding and your breath to even out. The donations were pouring in, the chat moving so fast you couldn’t even read it. “Alright, lovelies, I hope you enjoyed that. Be right back and we’ll chat a little bit, okay?”

Donations popped up, the chat slowing a little as the clients who only came to jerk off to you left, leaving those who considered themselves true fans. You stood and made your way to the bathroom to pee, rinsing your toy off in the sink and washing your hands. You went back to your room, pulling on a hoodie and settling in front of the screen again.

“Alright, I’m back! I have some time for a few questions and then I have to go for the night. Let me see what we got!” You scanned the chat, ignoring the normal inappropriate questions. Mindfucker:  Do you know who Chargebolt is? Cause I heard he watches your stream.

Your heart, which had finally slowed to a normal rhythm, picked up again. You most definitely knew who Chargebolt was. You gave him a good amount of money from your donations when you watched his cam shows yourself. “I do actually, he’s pretty popular on here, isn’t he?” You sat back a little, furrowing your brows. “How do you know he watches me?”

RedDaddy: He did a Q&A and mentioned your channel! Told everyone to check you out.

You recognized the names of the viewers and knew they were also regulars on Chargebolt’s streams as well, so you believed them. Chargebolt was gorgeous and funny, just your type. The knowledge that he was interested in you enough to watch you get off on camera was flattering. You hoped your blush wasn’t showing on your face. 

“I’m surprised he knows who I am!” You had missed the last Q&A he’d done, since it hadn’t been on his normal streaming day, and you’d been stuck at work late. Leaning forward again, you bit your lip, looking into the camera from under your lashes. “Can I tell you guys a secret? I watch him, too. Why do you think I never do shows on Thursdays? That’s Chargebolt day.” With a wink you sat back, trying to will the blush from your cheeks. Mindfucker: I knew it! I bet he’s watching right now. You smiled, shrugging. “I hope he enjoyed the show, then!” You tried to hold it together, suppressing the urge to burst into a fit of giggles at the thought, answering a few more silly questions from your regulars, before signing off for the night, promising to be back again the following week.

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, leaning your head back and groaning. It was wild that the guy whose cam shows you watched on the regular, the one who had inspired you to start your own, who you thought of half the time when you were filming yourself getting off on camera for strangers, knew who you were and was one of your viewers. 

It brought you down a whole rabbit hole for a second, wondering if he got off on you getting off. Why else would he watch? Did he ever donate? You assumed he had a secondary account so you wouldn’t know it was him even if you tried to look at your past viewers, just like you had a secret account so you could watch him as well. 

Cracking your eyes open, you clicked to view the donation tallies for the evening. You’d made enough to pay the rent on your apartment for the month in just one night. Sometimes you wondered how you ever managed to survive before you started doing this. It was meant to be a temporary side job, but you’d been running this cam channel under the screen name Neko for over six months, and you had clawed your way out of debt in such a short time, it didn’t make sense for you to stop.

You viewed a few more visitor stats with interest, before logging off the computer and shutting the laptop. You had to get to sleep for your real job in the morning, so you figured it was time for bed, pushing thoughts of Chargebolt to the back of your mind for now.

It wasn’t until later when you were lying down to sleep, that you thought of him again. Your eyes closed as you ran through a scenario in your head, wondering if he would mention you on Thursday, and what would come of all this? You had noticed your viewer numbers had spiked that day, so it was definitely beneficial that you’d caught his eye. You just weren’t sure what would happen next.

--

Denki was grinning into the camera, wiping the cum off of his abs with the towel he kept beside him, his chest and cheeks flushed pink. He adjusted in his chair, tugging the toy out of his hole and chucking it to the side, pulling his boxers back up over his softening cock. “I hope it was as good for you as it was for me, babes.” 

He chuckled at the comments flooding the chat as he reached for his water and took a sip. 

Tapeman: As always, you never disappoint me, Chargebolt.

“Hey thanks, Tapeman! I appreciate you always coming to hang out...get it? Coming?”

Mindfucker: Ridiculous.

“Aw, you love me, Mindfucker.” He winked at the camera. “So, did you guys enjoy my Q&A the other day?”

The chat filled with praise, making him grin. He loved to talk to his fans, and sometimes they had some great questions for him. He knew a lot of people just watched him as a way to get off, but he liked to give a little piece of himself to them because he knew that most of the people who watched were probably lonely, and he wanted to help with that in some way. He kept things laid back, joking and laughing with his viewers before and after the show, taking requests and doing his best to remember some of the regulars. Some of the few who had been with him from the beginning he’d made into moderators to help with keeping things somewhat orderly in the chat. Some of them he actually knew in real life, like his roommate Hitoshi, who used the alias Mindfucker.

Mindfucker: So are we going to talk about Neko? Denki’s eyebrows rose. “Oh, you mean the stream the other day? It was…” He made the appropriate motion as he said it. “Chef’s kiss, immaculate. She’s so beautiful…” Trailing off, he let himself think back to the way your chest heaved and the face you made when you came. “I would do anything for her, man.”

RedDaddy: Dude, I agree! She’s also super sweet, like, the total package.

Sighing, he leaned his elbow on the desk, his cheek resting on his palm. “I am a simp, my guy.” He sat up, squinting at the chat. “She said she watches, right? Is she here right now?” He scanned the names of the viewers, frowning. “She probably has a second account. Well, if you’re here, Neko, you should hit me up. I read all of my DM’s okay?” He grinned, winking again. “Alright, I have to go feed the cats so I’m outie 5000, thanks for hanging out and I’ll see you guys next week!”

He said his goodbyes, ending the stream and sighing. He wiped off his toy with the towel and clicked through his stats for the day, smiling at some of the comments that came with the donations. Hitoshi came into his room a few minutes later, holding one of the cats, an orange tabby named Miso, in his arms. “I fed them, you don’t have to.”

Was it weird that his roommate watched him fuck himself on toys and jerk off on the internet on a weekly basis? Nope. Denki had forgone all sense of modesty when it came to sex a long time ago, and Hitoshi was the same. It helped that they fucked around on occasion, best friends who got lonely and lived together sometimes did that, he guessed. Or maybe they were weird. It was whatever, he didn’t like to think about it too much. 

“What would I do without you, Toshi?”

“Kill the cats, probably.” He deadpanned, leaning in the doorway. “Burn all the toast you try to make, buy the wrong peanut butter, eat Cheese-Itz for breakfast every day, forget to pay the cable bill.” He raised his eyebrows. “I can keep going.”

“Fuck off, I got the all-natural peanut butter once, it was an accident!” Denki threw his soiled towel into the laundry basket by the closet and picked up the toy he’d used, waving it around a bit. “Did you enjoy the stream?”

Hitoshi snorted, eyeing the dildo warily. “I didn’t really watch, I had my eye on the chat. I was looking for Neko.”

“Man, I can’t believe she’s a fan!” He waved the dildo some more, watching as it jiggled. “I would let her do unspeakable things to me.”

“Look out, your sub is showing, Denki.” Hitoshi teased. “But I agree, she’s pretty great. I wonder if she’ll ever do private shows.” Pausing to scritch Miso behind the ears, he continued. “I’m sure they’d be in high demand.”

Denki stood, pointing at Hitoshi with the dildo. He really needed to put it down somewhere and stop brandishing it around like a sword. “Don’t even, I’d spend all my money on that girl.” 

“I know you would.” He chuckled. “I did try to go through the usernames and see if I could find out who she could be, but I didn’t have any luck.”

“It’s okay! I’m leaving it up to fate now, man. If the universe wants us to know each other, we will.” He stuck his thumb towards the ensuite. “I’m going to wash my ass and then we can play Among Us if you want.”

Hitoshi, completely unphased as usual, nodded. “I’ll get a team together. Check the discord when you get out.”

Humming, Denki made his way to the bathroom, picking up his phone on the way. It buzzed as he closed the door, and he glanced down to see he had a message from his other moderator and friend, Eijirou, aka RedDaddy. Tossing the dildo in the sink, he looked down at the screen and opened the message.

Eiji: No luck on finding Neko on the stream, but she said she never misses a Thursday, so I bet she was there.

Denki: Thanks for keeping an eye out, man. I appreciate you. Among us in 30?

Eiji: Bet. I’ll ask Kats to play too.

--

Your next stream day had you feeling nervous. Chargebolt had talked directly at you on his last stream, asking you to slide into his DMs, and you had yet to take him up on it. You didn’t know what you were so scared of, Chargebolt was a nice guy. You chalked it up to the fear of the unknown. If you sent him a message, what would you even say? ‘Hey dude, nice cock?’ It was bound to be a disaster.

Pushing your nerves back down, you made sure you were ready for your stream, excited for the news you were about to drop on your viewers. You were needing a little extra cash due to some unfortunate car trouble, and you’d figured out a way to make up what you needed in record time.

“Hey everyone, welcome!” You smiled at the camera, waving your fingers. “Thanks for coming! I see a lot of familiar names here tonight. Hi Mindfucker, Dynamight, RedDaddy, Tapeman, LightningMcQueen!”

LightningMcQueen: Hey, beautiful! I’ve been looking forward to this all week.

Dynamight: Chill out, McQueen, you look desperate.

RedDaddy: Be nice, Dynamight. Hi, Neko!

Dynamight: Fuck off, Shittyhair.

Mindfucker: How’s your cat, Neko?

“Be good, Dynamight. You’re lucky I know you don’t mean that!” You giggled at the antics of your regulars, smiling at the question about your cat. “Ichigo is doing good, Mindfucker, thanks for asking! I’ll bring her on camera after the show if you want to say hi!”

Minfucker just sent a cat emoji and you laughed, shaking your head. “I’m beginning to think that you’re just here for Ichigo and not me.”

The chat went crazy with people denying it, telling you how much they loved watching you every week. You lit up, feeling more excited about your news.

“So I have something I want to discuss before we get started today. I’ve decided I want to try out doing some private shows, so I’m going to be offering up a few spots. I’m going to give some of my longest and most frequent supporters a shot first, and if all goes well, then I’ll open them up to the rest of you! I’ll be adding a signup link at the bottom of my page after tonight’s stream, so if you’re interested you can apply and I’ll pick a few of you and we’ll work out a schedule! How does that sound?”

Dynamight: McQueen already has his credit card ready I bet.

“Aw, you don’t want to play with me, Dynamight?” You teased, giving the camera your best pout.

Dynamight: You couldn’t handle me, Princess.

LightningMcQueen: Hush. You’re a bottom, Dyna.

Dynamight: Die you fucking extra.

LightningMcQueen: Love you too, blasty.

“I was going to let you pick the toy today, Dynamight, but if you can’t behave then I’m just going to have to let someone else have a turn.” You gave the camera a disapproving look, frowning. You’d picked up that these guys were friends, so you knew they were just messing with each other.

A donation popped up from Dynamight with a comment attached. 

Let McQueen choose this time, babe.

“It looks like Dynamight is going to let you choose, McQueen. Which one?” You pulled over the box you kept your toys in and showed it to the camera. “Pick a color.”

LightningMcQueen: Yellow

You pulled the yellow silicone out of the box and showed it to the chat, smirking. “I call this one Chargebolt because it’s the same color as his hair. Are you sure this is the one you want me to use?”

--

When your stream ended, Denki leaned back in his chair, taking a deep breath. The fact that he’d watched you fuck yourself with a dildo that you’d named after him was the hottest thing he could have imagined. He was jealous of that piece of bright yellow silicone more than he should be. He’d still enjoyed it, if the mess across his abs and chest were any indication. 

He cleaned himself up and pulled on a shirt, clicking on the link for the private show signup. It was pretty straightforward, listing the price and how long the show would be, and asking for his username and what he would be interested in doing or seeing and what day would work best.

Staring at the form for a moment, he contemplated his options. He could sign up with his LightningMcQueen account, and he might have a chance. He was the first one out of his friends to find your channel one night when he was bored and horny. Then he’d shown it to Hitoshi and then shared your info with Eijirou, Katsuki, and Hanta. He would be considered one of the longest and loyal viewers like you had said.

However, if you got a request from Chargebolt? What would you do? Would you ignore it? 

“Toshi!” He called out, knowing his roommate would hear him without him having to get up. “I’m having a crisis!”

The door opened, and the purple-haired man stood in the doorway. “I am not prepared to handle your bi panic right now, Denki.”

“Are you going to put in for a private show from Neko?” Denki pushed on, ignoring his friend’s exasperation. 

“I spoke that into existence last week, you know. You’re welcome.”

Flopping back in his chair, Denki closed his eyes. “Should I send in the request with this account or with the Chargebolt one?”

Hitoshi shrugged, watching their cat Sashimi wander into the room. “You’ve wanted to talk to her for ages, man. You could have messaged her forever ago and you wouldn’t be playing this game with her. Sign up with your actual account.”

“I mean, she must think I’m cute, right? Otherwise, she wouldn’t watch.” He sat up, logging out of his secondary account and into his main one. He had a few unread DM’s, so he clicked, his breath catching in his throat. “Dude, look.”

There was a message from you, short but sweet.

Hi, Chargebolt. I don’t know if you saw the stream today, but you should check it out if you haven’t. I left it up for you.”

“She wants you to see her use that dildo she named after you.” Hitoshi patted his shoulder, and then bent down to pick up Sashimi. “I signed up but I told her I just wanted to have a date with her cat. She probably won’t pick me.”

“She will, she loves cats.” Denki clicked on your page and scrolled down to the bottom where the signup was again, letting it populate his main account in the information, and writing ‘any day except Thursday’ in the section for the time that worked for him. “I’m going to get this girl to date me, just you watch.”

Snorting, his roommate closed the door behind him as he left. “I believe in you, Pikachu.”

Once his request was submitted, he went back to his DM’s and sent you a message back.

“I was there, Neko. I never miss a stream. I submitted for a private show, so I hope you’ll pick me. I’ve been one of your viewers since the beginning, you know.”

---

In your head, you tried to plan what you would say once you were face to face (via camera) with the one and only Chargebolt. Everything your brain seemed to come up with fell short. What did you say to this guy, who you’d been simping over for over 9 months, who lit up your screen every Thursday with terrible puns and panty-dropping smiles? You knew exactly what he looked like and sounded like when he came. It was a strange thing to think that you knew that but you’d never actually spoken to him before.

It made you feel a little better when you realized he knew just as much about you. That he watched you fuck yourself on a dildo you’d named after him, and then spent the rest of the stream showing off your fluffy white cat Ichigo. 

It was time to put on your big girl panties. You could do this. 

Chargebolt had been one of the few that you’d chosen to do these shows with. He was also the last one. You’d met with 4 others, the ones who were the most active in your chat, the ones you assumed were actually friends. 

Your first one was with Tapeman, who asked you to call him Sero. He was cute, with the widest, prettiest smile you’d ever seen. He made you laugh, and called you beautiful, and spoke to you in Spanish. You didn’t feel uncomfortable once with him, and the experience gave you hope that the rest would be just as nice.

Mindfucker was next, whose name was Shinsou and lowkey your favorite one. He didn’t want anything sexual at all, which surprised you. You sat with him and drank tea and you got to meet his two fur children, Miso and Sashimi, while he told you about his roommate. You let him admire Ichigo, and talked about music. He was sarcastic, but not in a mean way, and you were pretty sure he was going to be your new best friend.

RedDaddy and Dynamight had asked to do theirs together since they were dating. You wanted to question why they both watched your stream but RedDaddy, who was actually named Kirishima, answered it for you.

“We’re both bi, and we think you’re cute!”

“Yeah, plus McQueen has a thing for you so we like to be in the chat to help him out.” Dynamite, aka Bakugou, added in his gruff voice, folding his arms across his chest.

“Aw, that’s sweet!” You smiled at them. “He didn’t request a private show though, so I guess he doesn’t like me that much.”

Bakugou coughed and Kirishima grinned. “Maybe he was nervous! I’m sure you’ll meet him in one of these someday!”

“Enough about that dumbass.” Bakugou leaned forward, his hand on Kirishima’s knee. “Give us a show and we’ll give you one in return. Use that orange and green one for me, Princess.”

And give you a show they did. You got lost in how they looked at each other while they jerked each other off, and you were pretty sure they forgot you were even there at some point. When it was over, you suggested that they start their own channel.

Bakugou scoffed, but you could tell he was blushing a bit.

“I don’t know, Neko. I don’t think I could share him with anyone else. Except you, you’re the exception.” Kirishima grinned, winking at you.

But now it was Chargebolt’s turn. You made sure you had everything you needed, making sure Ichigo was out of the room, and then signed into your account. 

Chargebolt was online, so you made the private room and sent him the request. You felt like you were shaking, and you checked yourself in the camera to make sure you didn’t look like a wreck.

You barely had time to breathe before he entered the chat, his camera screen coming to life and showing you his smiling face. You melted a bit, biting your lip, gazing at how attractive he was. 

“Hey, Neko!” Chargebolt was as vibrant as ever, tucking his hair behind his ears, the black lightning bolt in his hair dark against the bright yellow of the rest of it.

“It’s nice to see you, Chargebolt.” You tried to relax, rolling your shoulders back. “It’s kind of weird knowing you can see me too.”

He laughed, leaning back in his chair. You tried not to stare at his arms in the tank top he was wearing. Chargebolt had a small frame, but his muscles were defined. You’d seen him plow through an entire bag of chips on stream once, without pausing to breathe, so you assumed he must be one of those people with amazing metabolism that you envied. “You can call me Denki if you want, kitten.”

You choked on air at the nickname, trying to compose yourself. “Kitten?”

“Well, Neko means cat, doesn’t it?” He raised an eyebrow. “I won’t call you that if you don’t like it.”

“No!” You practically shouted. “No, I mean, it’s fine. I like it.”

“Sweet.” He grinned. “Man, I’ve wanted to get you alone like this for so long, and now I’m just feeling really nervous.”

“You’re nervous?” You were surprised. The always cool but super dorky Chargebolt was nervous because of you? “So am I.”

Chargebolt- sorry, Denki, rested his elbow on the desk, propping his head in his hand. “Well, glad to know I’m not the only disaster here. I’ve been trying to get the courage to talk to you for months, and then finally Hitoshi got me to talk about you on stream a few weeks ago, and now here we are.”

“Who’s Hitoshi? One of your regulars?” Knowing that you weren’t the only one who was sweating bullets had you relaxing a bit. 

“Oh yeah, Mindfucker! You know him right? He did a thing with you the other day, didn’t he?”

Eyes wide, you stared at him. “Shinsou?”

“Yeah, that’s my best friend and my roommate. He said he showed you the cats.” He shrugged. “You picked all my friends for your private shows. Sero, Kiri, Bakugou, Shinsou.” He paused, smirking. “I forgot that you don’t know that I’m LightningMcQueen.”

“That’s you? I was wondering why they didn’t send me a request, but it all makes sense now.”

Denki shot you finger guns and winked. “Kachow!”

“Oh god, stop it.” You rolled your eyes.

He chuckled, grinning at you. “So, did Shinsou talk about me?”

You giggled, remembering back. “He told me a story about how his roommate mistook a fuzzball for a spider and spent the afternoon sitting on a table waiting for him to come home and kill it.”

“It looked like one of those freaky poisonous ones from where I was sitting. I was afraid to let it out of my sight in case it got away and then multiplied and killed me in my sleep or something.” He took a deep breath. “Spiders are terrifying.”

This man was amazing. “You are everything I always thought you’d be, you know that?”

“I’m going to take that as a compliment.” He sighed. “You have to have some kind of embarrassing story to tell me so I don’t feel like a fool. You’ve got to make it even.”

“One year my dad hired a clown to come to my birthday party. He walked in the front door and I jetted out the back door and hid in the garden until he left. Clowns are just as terrifying as spiders.”

Chargebolt laughed, and the sound made your stomach do a somersault. It was just as bright and happy as he was. “That is the cutest shit I’ve ever heard!”

“I’m glad my childhood trauma is amusing you.” You deadpanned, trying to keep the smile off your face.

“Aw, don’t be like that kitten! I’m glad we can bond over our irrational fears like this, you know?” He 

You shivered happily. “Okay, okay.” You cleared your throat. “So, you didn’t write anything down here for what you wanted out of our chat today.”

“Oh, okay, down to business then.” He sat up straight. “Well, I wanted to tell you myself instead of submitting it on the form.”

Intrigued, you raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t want to give me a chance to back out?”

Snorting, and shook his head. “Nah, I think you’ll like it, kitten.” He folded his hands behind his head. “I want you to tell me what to do. I’m at your mercy.”

Swallowing thickly, you blinked at him. That was...really hot. “You like being told what to do?”

“I would love nothing more for you to pull my hair and peg me within an inch of my life while calling me your little cock slut.” He stared at you with an eyebrow raised, looking pleased with himself when he saw your expression.

Your thighs clenched together involuntarily. “Fuck.”

“Yeah, right? I mean, I’m a switch, I’d do the same to you if you asked.  But we can save that for next time.” He smirked. “So, you down?”

Next time? This man was going to kill you. “Take off your shirt, Denki.”

“Fuck yes.” He groaned, reaching behind him and tugging the garment over his head. 

His chest and abs came into view, and you let your eyes linger on the barbells through his nipples. “Pants too.”

He pushed his chair away from his desk and shimmied out of his shorts, kicking them to the side. You gazed at him in his blue boxer briefs, eyes lingering on his thin waist, strong thighs, and the outline of his cock. He was a sight to behold, honestly.

You held the fangirling back, leaning forward to get a better look at him. “Do you have any toys, Denki?”

“Of course, Kitten.” He moved out of view for a moment, coming back with a box. 

“Let me see.” He tilted the box towards the camera, your eyes flitting over the different colors and shapes inside. “The pink one.” 

“Okay, hang on, let me-” He cut off, standing up and throwing the pink toy on the bed. He picked up the laptop and moved it, laying down beside it and angling the camera so you could see what he was doing.

“Did you stretch yourself, baby?” 

He made a noise that sounded like a whine in the back of his throat at the pet name, obviously pleased by it. “Yeah, of course I did.” He glanced at the screen. “You should, uh, take your shirt off too.”

“I thought you wanted me to tell you what to do, not the other way around.” Teasing him, you crossed your arms over your chest.

He pouted slightly. “I’ve been good so far though, right?”

“All you’ve done is take off two items of clothing and move to the bed. You’re gonna have to work harder than that!”

Huffing, he lifted his ass off the bed and tugged his underwear down his legs, kicking them off, his hand already moving to wrap around his already hard cock.

“Did I say you could touch yourself, Denki?” It was getting hard to keep up the stern act you were putting on, but you knew it was what he wanted. You wanted to watch him touch himself, watch the way his eyes fluttered closed when his thumb brushed over the leaking head of his cock, and the way he would bite his lip when he moved his wrist a certain way.

You could be patient though, so you continued.

“If I was there right now, what would you want me to do first?”

He stilled, blinking at you a few times. “I would want your mouth first, I think.”

Humming, you sat back, pulling your shirt over your head, letting him admire the lacey purple bra covering your chest. “You’d want my mouth on your cock? Trace my tongue along that vein along the underside and suck on the head a little?”

Denki groaned, closing his eyes, his grip visibly tightening around his shaft. He looked like he was trying not to get worked up too fast. You were amazed at how your words were affecting him, so you pressed on.

“I’d take you all the way down until I was choking on it, and I’d let you hold onto my hair and fuck my face. God, you don’t know how many times I've dreamed about doing that for you. What would you say to that?”

The blush spreading down his neck and chest made him look so pretty. “Ugh, fuck kitten, you’re killing me.” He swallowed hard, opening his eyes to look at you again. “I’d tell you how good you made me feel, but I wouldn’t let you finish me off that way.”

“Oh no? Tell me what else you’d do.” You took the opportunity to move to the bed yourself, pulling off your leggings and panties all at once. 

Eyes glued to you while you unclipped your bra and threw it across the room, he continued. “Fuck, um, I would...god, you’re beautiful.”

Flushing at the compliment, you looked down shyly, breaking character. “I’ve heard you say that before and I still don’t believe it.”

Denki scoffed. “If you need a daily reminder, I’d be happy to be the one to tell you, kitten.” You could hear the sincerity in his voice, and it made your heart do a little flip. “I might seem like a dumbass but I’m using this camboy money to pay off my student loans for my masters in English lit so I can quote you entire sonnets from Shakespeare without hesitation if that will help you believe me.”

Your eyebrows shot up, impressed. Realizing you’d ruined the moment, you sighed, covering your eyes with your hand. “I’m sorry, I’m crap at this. I really just want to watch you cum.”

Chuckling, you heard him shifting on the bed. “Okay, how about this? Forget the toys. Just close your eyes and listen to me.”

“Okay.”

“If you were here with me right now, just like that, I’d spend so much time exploring every inch of you with my tongue. I’d start with your lips, your jaw, your neck. Collarbones, shoulders, your chest, those cute nipples-”

“How are nipples cute?” You interrupted with a snort.

You could hear him trying not to laugh, his voice pitched a bit higher. “Shh, don’t ruin it.”

“I think you just did when you said ‘cute nipples’.” You’d never had this much fun with someone in a situation like this. “If I had a dick, my boner would have just died.”

Denki wheezed, and you opened your eyes to look over at him. He was gazing back at you, his eyes bright as he laughed into his palm. “God, I like you so much, kitten.”

Your grin softened, your heart pounding at his words. “Me too, Denki.” 

[bontenten]

Bewitch

Pairings: Osamu x F!Reader x Atsumu; Miyacest WC: 7.4k Genre/Warnings: smut, fairytale retelling (Hansel and Gretel), magic au, dubcon/noncon, incest (miyacest), fear, knife, monster, bondage, snuff, vore, gore/blood, object insertion, body horror, a bit of size, tummy bulge, oral (m.receiving), anal (m. receiving), masturbation (f. & m.), voyeurism, arson...

Summary: The unexpected guests at your cottage have a mysterious past and hidden agenda. Will they allow you to accompany them on their journey?

Travelers are advised not to spend the night in the Dark Woods. It's said that beyond the last hiking trail, past a brook, lives an Evil Witch. That witch is vile and merciless; often, fools lost in the woods are never seen again. It's said that she must be over 800 years old, feeding off of the essences of children and young men unfortunate enough to cross her paths. It’s said that she even eats fellow witches. No one really knows. After all, no one who has seen her has lived to tell the tale.

It's been a few months since your teacher has left you to fend for yourself here in the woods—your first time alone during this apprenticeship. She said she had to attend a big conference with a whole bunch of other grand witches. You asked if you could tag along, but she insisted that you stay and watch the cottage. The lack of company is about to drive you insane so you often resort to conversing with yourself or the forest itself.

The soft moss muffles the sound of your footsteps as you begin the trek back home, a faint off-trail path away from the main road that no one else would usually notice. On any other day, you would just go home without a fuss, but loneliness makes people do some bizarre and odd things. For instance, the desperate longing for companionship leads to you dropping a not-so-hidden trail of fancy pebbles to inadvertently lead someone to your abode.

For most travelers, going off-trail is akin to a death sentence as any wrong turn might lure them into the forest's deadly maze. Not for you though, you know this place very well: every fallen tree, overturned log, the wanted signs nailed to the trunk...

Wait. A wanted sign?

You can make out from your distance that there are two heads on it, but the details are fuzzy, and the bounty looks smudged. Before you can get a closer look, you hear the birds caw in the trees, signaling the beginning of sunset. You pull your attention away from the poster and continue on to your way home.

The cottage is extremely cozy and warm. The windows are bejeweled and the door is solid wood. You live here comfortably with your teacher, after all, learning about the principles of magic and what it means to be a witch. It's much more than curses and spells, as your teacher would tell you, witches have character and a moral compass. Although there are certainly those who decide to experiment with the darker arts.

While you get a fire going in the huge furnace and boil some water on the stovetop, you hear two voices squabbling outside followed by three raps on the door. You're stunned by the noise, turning to face the shut door wondering if you were just dreaming about the noise. Is it? Visitors? No, you must have heard wrong.

"'Samu, I bet it's a farce, let's not." The voice sounds both tired and weary, almost out of breath.

"Let me just try again, I can smell a working kitchen in there, someone is definitely there," another voice insists. Three more knocking sounds. "Excuse me! Is the owner of the house available? My brother and I followed a path of colored stone and came upon your establishment...could you spare us some water? A bite of food?"

Two men, though they sound friendly. You're frozen in the kitchen, staring at the door that remains between you and the strangers.

"Is there someone home?" The second voice tries again. "Please, my brother is not feeling very well."

Your initial wariness for the stranger melts when you hear about the brother, which does not sound like a lie based on the raspy voice you first hear. A witch's character is fundamentally kind to all sentient beings, especially those in need. But you're still nervous, so you end up grabbing a metal ladle before carefully going to open the door. When you crack the door open, you see a pair of twins. Beautiful men, one blonde and one grey-haired. The former, with a quirky grin, although his eyes certainly look lackluster. But the other seems like he's at the right place, eyes peering past you into your home, fixated on your kitchen.

"I'm Osamu. And this," he gestures to his twin, "is my brother Atsumu. We're a bit lost, you see."

You nod your head in a casual greeting and introduce yourself as the resident apprentice at this cottage. As a good host should, you open the door to the weary guests preparing to welcome them in.

"Are we welcomed in?" Osamu asks, not moving from his spot. Atsumu isn’t budging either, arms crossed and only looking at you from the corner of his eye, waiting for your answer.

Without giving much thought you nod and open the door wider. "Both of you are most welcomed in."

"Then we thank you for your hospitality," Osamu says, taking a step inside, dragging his twin with him.

Words, especially spoken words carry power and hold intent. And a witch's words, no matter how careless they slip out, contain magic. Welcome, as you say. So welcome, they are.

You shut the door behind them and prepare to go give your first-ever guests some water. When you turn around, you notice Osamu already in the kitchen, the sleeves of his tunic rolled up past his elbows.

"Your food is about to burn. Heat's too high," he tells you, expertly taking control of the sizzling pots and pans. "I got it, don't worry."

Feeling flustered at the faint smell of scorching food, you hurry over to see if you can be of any assistance. "Let me help out."

"No, it's quite alright."

How can a host let her guests do all the work like that? And the first company in a while too! What an utter failure.

"How—" you try to argue back, but you're cut off by Atsumu tugging on your wrist, dragging you over to the sofa in the corner.

"Don't worry about him, he loves to cook." Atsumu brushes out the wisps of his bangs with a huff. "And actually quite good at it. Anything that goes through his hands...well, in short, all become part of his design."

Like his twin, Atsumu's frame is broad and huge, but there is a quality of emptiness of sorts. Osamu's shoulders are wide but there's more substance to it, whereas Atsumu's form seems contained. You can't help but use your learnings to see if you can figure out just what's off about Atsumu. He's slowly walking around the living room and studying the portraits hanging on the wall. He picks up a frame that is set above the fireplace and comments, "None of these are you. How come?"

"Oh, they're my teacher. I'm just a witch-in-training at the moment, so—"

"A witch?" Atsumu questions, clenching the frame tightly. His hands begin to shake, the glass under his thumb beginning to crack.

You did not expect Atsumu to display such a visceral reaction upon the mention of witches. After all, witches normally stayed far away from ordinary human society and when they do mix, it's often a role of healing. But the look that sparks in Atsumu's eyes, it's almost—feral.

"'Tsumu!" Osamu yells while stalking over quickly from the kitchen. He throws his arm around Atsumu's neck and drags him off into the shadows. You can't make out the muffled voices and deep growling noises that are coming from down the hall.

It's their private matter, so you go back to the kitchen. True enough, Osamu's hands are almost like magic. The bubbling pot of broth doesn't seem to be on the verge of overflowing, the onions caramelizing beautifully, filling the air with deliciousness.

Moments later, the twins come back. You notice that Osamu clothes are wrinkled from tugging Atsumu around, but at the very least, Atsumu is looking much better than before.

The three of you set the table for dinner. Osamu brings out the plates as though he knows the kitchen inside and out already. Atsumu comes emerging from the cellar with two bottles of fine wine that you didn't even know your teacher had stowed away. Surely, she wouldn't mind? With Osamu and Atsumu sitting to the left and right of you at the round table, it almost feels like a more familiar, cozier gathering between friends than a situation of a host and her guests.

They tell you that they have been traveling across the lands for a long time now, looking for a cure for Atsumu's illness. It reminds you of the hollow, repressed form you saw earlier and your curiosity gets the better of you. They don't tell you the nature of the malady, but what they do share is that they are looking for a witch to undo the curse on Atsumu, a result of dark witchcraft.

"I am a witch!" you exclaim, feeling your call to action at the moment. "Please, is there truly nothing for me to help to undo the spell?"

Osamu leans in close to you, and wipes a bit of sauce staining the corner of your lips with the pad of his thumb. He smiles. "We're looking for a very high-level witch. One day, maybe you'll get to the level of magic needed."

"You're too weak," Atsumu bluntly points out. You're sure Osamu means to say the same thing, but Atsumu's words are really sharp.

"I know," you sigh. "My teacher tells me that all the time. So, I'm really trying. I'm sure there's at least something I can do."

"I definitely think that. Don't be so hard on yourself," Osamu comforts. "Have you been living alone here for a long time?"

You feel two pairs of eyes glued onto you waiting for your answer. You smile reflexively before your eyes trail to the empty plate and carefully choose your words. "Yea. Just me and my teacher. She's a grand witch...maybe if you wait here for a few days, you can meet her when she comes back from her conference."

"We—"

"We'll be gone tomorrow!" Atsumu snaps, staring into Osamu's eyes.

Osamu doesn't pay any mind to Atsumu, and puts an extra piece of dessert onto your plate.

"We have a long way to go. Atsumu's condition isn't getting better, so we can't stop in one place for long."

It makes you a little sad, because you were hoping to spend some more time with the twins, both of whom you have grown fond of. Osamu and his gentleness. And even Atsumu, despite his quick remarks and outbursts, adds a particular spice to your mundane life.

"Maybe we'll bring you with us," Osamu comments lightly, "'Tsumu, wouldn't that be nice?"

"She'll just be dead weight," Atsumu retorts. You wonder if he absolutely hates you. Is that why he is always so against you being next to Osamu?

Osamu puts an arm around you and blows on the shell of your ear. It tickles and you can feel his body enveloping you. "But she's so sweet," he tells Atsumu and whispers into your ear, "Aren't you?"

You find your wandering gaze looking into his half-lidded grey eyes. His face is right next to you, lips just hovering barely five centimeters away. The overwhelming presence of him is undeniably alluring. Your breaths become shallow as your heart rate speeds up with desire.

"I'm exhausted! 'Samu you too. We're going to bed!" Atsumu drops the silverware onto his plate and stands up. He comes around the table, muttering curses under his breath. Atsumu grabs Osamu by the wrist and drags him off towards the guest bedroom you have shown them before.

You didn't quite catch Atsumu's angry mutters, but you hear "slut" and "harlot" thrown around a few times. Were they directed at you? No, you're not like that, you tell yourself. Atsumu must have been thinking that you are trying to seduce his twin. After you clear out the table, you decide to clear up any misunderstanding.

You tip-toe down the hall to the guest bedroom prepared to knock when you hear muffled sounds coming from inside. You carefully press your ears to the crevice of the door and clamp a hand around your mouth upon hearing the stream of moans.

"'Samu, 'Samu please, ah—"

That's Atsumu? Your eyes are wide and still trying to process the shock of what you're hearing. You tell yourself you shouldn't be here. You should not be listening to whatever is happening behind the closed door, but you can't help it. Hearing Atsumu's moans makes you want to squirm.

You slightly jump when you hear a slap, followed with a pleasured groan. The sound is so clean it feels as though the phantom hands are touching your own heated skin.

Osamu's chuckle nearly makes your knees weak.

"Don't get cocky, if it were any other day ngh—, any other day, I would be the one pushing you into the mattress."

Slap. "Shut up, cute 'Tsumu. I like you being so needy for me like this. What do you want from me? Tell me."

"Fuck me, 'Samu."

"With pleasure."

The wood creaks loudly and you tell yourself, you really need to get out as you back away and try to quickly walk down the hall back to your bedroom.

You throw the door open and lock the door behind you with a click. With your eyes closed, you try to steady your breath and the building heat in your core. It's quiet. There's no noise coming from their room. But they are twins! 

You remind yourself that a witch is all-accepting and kind. There are so many circumstances beyond your understanding, judgement is not a part of your nature. And if what they are performing is wrong, what should you say about yourself? You peel off your clothes and step out of the soaked panty that is proof of your lust.

Pillows are fluffed and covers are pulled over your body. You try to sleep, but each time you are about to drift, Atsumu's cries of pleasure come back into your head. Your hand trails down your navel until the fingertips trace over your clit. Gathering some slick from your cunt, you drag it across the sensitive bud.

You shudder from the touch as images, constructed in your fantasy, cloud your mind. You imagine Atsumu's hands spreading your legs apart and Osamu's teasing words next to your ear. He would tell you to open wide and shove his cock down your throat. You suck on three of your fingers until lips wrap over the knuckles, your saliva pooling from hunger. And slip your fingers into your cunt easily, curling them against the plush walls.

"F-fuck me," you moan into your pillow.

With pleasure.

You quiver, clit pulsating, and your pussy juice dripping into your palm. The wash from the high soon takes you into sleep. All throughout the night, you squirm and feel the phantom sensation of being watched. Not just observed, but studied, by two pairs of glinting hungry eyes. You can almost imagine them on either side of the bed, trapping you into the mattress no matter which way you turn.

A few times the weird feelings almost pull you awake, but you don't dare crack an eye open to confirm your suspicions until the morning light begins to filter through the windows, rousing you from sleep. The air is filled with fragrant herbs and the sizzle of delicious brunch from someone awake before you.

No doubt, it's Osamu, because who else can it be? Atsumu? Please. The twins....

You climb out of bed and stretch your neck on the way to the washroom. Your bedroom door is open, but it's too early to notice that detail.

"Morning!" Osamu greets you from the kitchen. You find a fresh mug of coffee shoved into your hands from him.

You mumble thanks and sip at the brew while watching Osamu fry the eggs. Osamu looks to be deep in thought, probably thinking about something pleasant from the faint smile ghosting on his face. You feel a pang of guilt from both listening to their private lives, and also the strange feelings that maybe they heard your private life too—it's all your paranoia talking.

"You're so talented," you blurt out, fisting the fabric of your long skirt.

"Thanks, but better not let 'Tsumu hear ya, he gets jealous super easily."

Even if Atsumu hears, it's fine. You really mean both of them. Both of the twins both seem super talented as a duo; like they've been out there and seen the world. Meanwhile, you're still stuck here, without company. Would it be possible...if they simply stayed?

Osamu senses the words that are stuck in your mouth and answers them for you. "We're gonna be leaving right after breakfast. There's still lots of ground to cover today," he explains, plating the pancake before preparing to ladle a spoonful of batter for the next one.

"Do you have to leave?" you ask, almost pleading.

"It's cozy here and comfortable. We enjoy your company too, but we have to go. Your teacher would hate us, immensely, and on top of that...let's just say, we're always on the run."

"You say it like you two are fugitives or something."

Osamu chuckles and leans closer to you, hot breath flaming your cheeks, or maybe it's just the heat from the stove. A teasing grin pulls his cheeks up slightly as your eyes flicker over to see his lips spell out, "Maybe. Scared?"

Embarrassed, you take a defensive step back, squeaking and bumping into another body.

"MORNING!" Atsumu announces behind you. He's in good spirits and he has his hands on your waist to steady you; he sniffs your hair and smiles before letting you go. "I smell something delicious."

"Breakfast is ready," Osamu says, plating the pancakes. "Hungry 'Tsumu?"

"Tch." Atsumu shoves past you and knees Osamu, mood doing a complete 180. You're almost left like a fly on the wall as you watch the scene unfold.

Osamu is quick to catch his balance while keeping watch on the stove. "Not awake yet?" Osamu grins and passes him a plate of pancakes, essentially telling him to shut up and eat. "Who shoved a stick up your ass? Go eat."

"Fuck you."

"Hm."

Atsumu grumbles but digs into his food anyway. Osamu catches your amused expression in the corner and explains, "It's always like that between us. It's our...way of showing how much we care."

"I know." It's sort of endearing, the banter between the two brothers. Even if the world turns against them, no matter what the odds are, at least Miya Osamu will have Miya Atsumu, and Atsumu will have Osamu. Perhaps it's exactly that sort of bond the two share that you're envious of. Body and soul. Because if only you could have just an ounce of that sort of familiarity with another. But you're just an outsider without an invitation to join in.

While you're mulling over your thoughts, you don't catch the darkening gazes being exchanged between the twins. At some point, Atsmu's plate is already emptied and the wooden table is cleared while you're still lost in your mind. Osamu is fiddling with the metal tea strainer, bobbing it up and down to brew a mug of tea. He threads a cotton string in and out like it's a plaything.

"Do you really want to be with us?" Osamu asks nonchalantly. "'Tsumu and I were talking about it. If you do, maybe we can work something out."

"I just..." You feel like this is your final chance to tell them that you don't want them to go. None of the going around circle hinting that you have been doing. This is the moment to just tell it to them. If you miss this chance, you feel like you won't have another. And even though a pit pulls at your inwards telling you to reconsider, you're brave. "I just want to be together with you all, and help you cure Atsumu. My teacher is so talented, I'm sure she'll have a remedy."

They grin.

Osamu is a great cook, he can do that. Atsumu sometimes seems lazy, but he's super strong and quick to help too. And you can pick up all sorts of other tasks in the area! Maybe because they're so helpful, your teacher will even let them stay once Atsumu is cured. Maybe they can learn magic too! You have heard of warlocks who are powerful with spells too. And you can already imagine, the three of you, like a team, eventually going out into the world to fight demons and monsters and—

"Open wide," a sultry voice sounds next to you. Backing away automatically, you find Atsumu standing right behind you.

"W-wait," your voice shakes, stuck in your throat. "What are—"

His fingers reach for your mouth, prying it open. Before you can voice your distaste, a warm, metal ball gets shoved into your mouth, the thin chain quickly tangles into your hair. The faint traces of tea seep out of its small holes down your tongue and throat, while some spill out the corner of your mouth like trails of drool down your jawline.

Osamu smiles and wipes the liquid away with his thumb, relishing in how your widening eyes gape at him in confusion.

"Being together," he answers the question you wanted to ask, "is what you want isn't it?" He takes a spool of kitchen twine and begins to secure the tea strainer in your mouth. The thin cotton threads wrap around your head over and over again, tightening the steel against your tongue.

You shake your head and try to take another step away from the man you're beginning to become wary of, but the strong grip of Atsumu's hands on your shoulder prevents you from squirming at all. His fingers dig into your flesh, and when you turn to look at him you catch a glint in his eyes, glowering down at you.

"No, no, no, behave," he taunts you, "listen to 'Samu. He'll make you feel real good, trust me."

With the gag in your mouth, all you can let out are weak, warbling gargles from the back of your throat. Why are you doing this? You weren't like this before? Loud snorts flare out your nostrils from the fear screaming through your body.

Osamu comes back with a paring knife, examining the edge under the sunlight filtering in through the stained glass. He presses the cool blade along your cheek, dragging with the dull edge just enough so the sharp end doesn't cut your skin. You feel your knees growing weak and if not for Atsumu's hold on you, you would sink into a shuddering heap on the floor.

"You know, I think you might be the best meal yet," Osamu compliments, blade trailing down to your collarbone. The tip of the knife toys with the first button, pressing tension on the x-cross stitching. Snap. The first button pops off, dropping onto the wooden floor and rolling away to an inconspicuous corner. "I'll prep you well."

Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap. The knife flicks again and all the buttons clatter on the floor before running away for refuge.

Atsumu has cleared the table already and you find yourself hoisted up and laid onto the surface like a slab of meat on a cutting board. The cold surface presses against the back of your shoulder and ass. Osamu ties your wrist together with a hemp rope and secures the other end around the table leg. He also secures your ankles to two other anchor points.

You're utterly exposed and ashamed at your body's display, mortified at how your body is reacting when you catch sight of Atsumu, his eyes dilated, looking at your slit that you know is drenched already. The rough texture of the rope presses painfully into your skin from how tight the bindings are. You can only let out gagged whines in complaint, chest rising up and down from the loud breaths.

"Can't do, love," Osamu chides, kissing the knot at your wrist, satisfied with the results. His fingertips trail down to cup your jaw and his thumb runs across the tea strainer. You close your eyes and groan at his touch. Osamu murmurs, "I won't let anything go to waste."

Atsumu is growing impatient at the sight of his twin treating you like the finest specimen ever. You're not the first one. You won't be the last one, but he still can't stand the sight of someone looking just like himself having first tastes while he's missing out himself. He wants to shove Osamu aside, but he knows that Osamu absolutely hates it when he ravages the meal when it's not ready.

Atsumu unzips his pants and lets his hardened, leaking cock spring free. You stare at Atsumu who is fixated on his own pleasure. His hand wraps around his cock and pumps the length up and down.

Osamu turns your head to look at himself instead. "Someone there is impatient, but let's not learn from him, okay? I want to take you slow, make sure you'll be ready. I don't want you stressed, you release too much cortisol and that toughens the meat."

Anything that goes through his hands...well, in short, all become part of his design.

His hand kneads your breast and toys with your nipple, circling and tugging on the tiny, erect bud.

"Relax," he whispers into your ear. "Just like you did last night."

You try to clamp your thighs shut from reflex. Immediately the resistance from the rope ties stop your movements. Osamu squeezes your thighs and pushes them apart once more.

"Right here isn't it, after hearing me fuck 'Tsumu..." Osamu's finger runs down the sides of your labia. "You just couldn't help touching yourself too huh?"

He knows. They know. You feel your cheeks burn at the realization.

"There's nothing embarrassing about it. If anyone should be, it should be us twins, " Osamu's fingers easily slip in, your pussy already dripping with arousal. "Oh woops, I shouldn't need to comfort you. You're clearly not shy."

Osamu's fingers are thick and long, able to reach far deeper than you ever can. Your tongue is still struggling against the gag while your saliva steeps the tea leaves trapped in the ball.

"Oi," Atsumu cuts in with annoyance. "I thought you said to not play with food. What the fuck are you doing, chef?"

Osamu stops his finger in you for a moment before dragging them out. You're trembling at the sudden emptiness and desire to fill the space immediately. The lack of stimulation is irritating and you are desperate.

Osamu walks up to Atsumu, bringing his drenched fingers covered in your slick to his lips for a taste. Before he can do so, Atsumu grabs Osamu's wrist and takes in those digits, sucking on them gingerly.

Osamu smiles and runs the other hand through Atsumu's hair.

"Patience is a virtue, 'Tsumu, I was just getting her fully prepared for you. I'm giving her all to you already, you couldn't even let me have a taste of her?"

Atsumu releases Osamu's fingers with a pop. "I never said I wasn't going to share," he mutters before pulling Osamu in for a kiss, passing the taste of you along their tongues.

Your body jostles as you finally get a visual matching what you heard last night. You feel your pussy leaking with more excitement, the arousal drips all the way down to your asshole. And the more you squirm, it's as though the rope ties become tighter and tighter, rubbing your skin raw. But even that pain is incomparable to the need to quell your fire.

Atsumu pulls away and presses one last kiss on Osamu's nose. "I always love what you serve, thank you 'Samu." Your heart rate rapidly speeds up as Atsumu comes towards you. He's positioned between your legs, both hands on your thighs, marveling at the display of your body. His hands feel hot.

Atsumu grins. "You probably didn't expect me to be the one taking you, huh?" He guides his cock to your entrance, the bulging tip prodding along your puffy lips. "Did you want Osamu to be the one fucking you?"

No? You want to argue, straining your head up slightly, but only tea-laced saliva drips out from the corners of your mouth.

"'Fuck me, 'Samu. Fuck me, please.' Is that what you heard? Is that what you wanted to say too?"

Your screams are muffled whimpers.

Osamu snorts off to the side, watching Atsumu do exactly what he accused Osamu earlier of: playing with his food. Hypocrite.

Atsumu glares at Osamu before turning his attention back to you. "You'll be begging for me, Atsumu, after I'm done with you."

He lines himself at your entrance and inches himself in, groaning at how your cunt is somehow just sucking him in. You're so warm and tight inside, wrapping perfectly around every part of him. He sits in you for a moment, just enjoying being blanketed by your muscles and chuckling how you tighten around him every now and then.

You whine, urging Atsumu to move a little.

"Okay, okay. Geez, and 'Samu says I'm impatient." Atsumu slowly draws his cock out and snaps his hips forward, the base of his balls slapping against your ass. He delights at how you squeeze your eyes shut and continues rocking into you at a comfortable pace.

Osamu enjoys standing off to the side for a while. He always liked watching Atsumu savor and delight the food he prepares. Atsumu always eats with such gusto. It should have always been that way, until the witch ruined everything. The curse, an experiment with the dark arts, should have never happened. Above all else, it should never have been on Atsumu. Osamu can only wonder if the reason they are subjected to this fate is because they are twins. Until a cure is found, Atsumu, his most beloved other, will have to replenish himself in this way.

A sharp pain rips through you and tears well up in your eyes. You feel Atsumu's cock suddenly begin to pulsate and grow in size. At first, you thought it was because you're clamping down on him too hard and will yourself to relax. But the cock, the thing, is certainly unnatural now. And between your tear-stained vision, you can just barely make out... Monster.

You begin to thrash wildly, head tossing side to side, back arched as much as you can in a futile escape attempt. Atsumu's claws rest on your hips while he pounds into you furiously. His groans, now deep growls, send vibrations that you can feel within your throbbing clit. You fear that you'll actually be ripped in half by the way Atsumu is thrusting into you. The engorged cockhead hits your cervix each time and his ball sack, even heavier, bowls and knocks against you.

Osamu unfolds his arms and comes over.

"It'll only hurt if you don't relax," he tells you, reaching out to press on your clit. "Just let him have his way."

"Go fuck her somewhere else," Atsumu snarls. His voice is warped and bellowing. Your mind is getting foggy as Osamu's fingers on your clit don't stop teasing the bud while having a petty talk with Atsumu. And Atsumu, ticked off by Osamu, picks up his speed.

"There we go, now that's beautiful," Osamu comments, taking his hand away and watching you unfurl in your pleasure. Your abused cunt is puffy when Atsumu pulls out, and you feel the thick liquid start to flow out when you take breaths.

"No, don't do that," Osamu chides, taking three fingers to gather the cum spilling out and stuffing it back in. "Better keep it all in. 'Tsumu isn't done with you yet."

Not yet? You can't even voice your thoughts except weakly shaking your head and moaning into the steel gag. In the moment, your stomach rumbles loudly.

"'Samu, she's hungry," Atsumu points out, rubbing your tummy. "You feed her and I'll stuff her."

Osamu ruffles Atsumu's long hair and gives his new, erected horns a teasing squeeze. Atsumu yelps at the touch. "'Samu!"

"Okay, okay," Osamu relents and stands next to your head. You see him take the paring knife again and slide the icy blade between the cotton ties and your hot cheek. A quick slice and you feel the pressure of the gag release. Osamu removes the tea strainer from your mouth and tosses it into the sink.

"Must have been so over-brewed, I apologize for that," he says. You know he doesn't mean it at all.

"Why?" you croak out. Your jaw and cheeks are sore from being held in position for so long. There's so many things you believe you can ask why about. Why they are prepping you like a meal, fucking you like a toy...Why Atsumu is the way he is. Why Osamu is not who you think he is either. Why you.

Despite Atsumu's grotesque figure, you're sure that you fear this twin more. Osamu's thoughts are so well-hidden behind his eyes; he never gives away what he's thinking or planning. You can only accept his decisions from the receiving end.

"Because of Atsumu," Osamu answers. Everything is for 'Tsumu. "I'll feed you."

Osamu cradles your head with both hands, his fingers tangled in your hair. He prods his cock against your lips. Feeling your resistance, he grips your hair tightly, painfully pulling on your scalp, and presses the tip of his cock to force your lips open. You nearly gag at the length entering your throat and your hands ball into tight fists. Your nose is buried in the base of his cock, pressing into his balls. Each breath you take is heavy with his musky, hot scent.

It's easy to focus on Osamu's cock fucking into your throat, leaving an unamused, monstrous twin off to the side preparing to turn your attention back to him by force.

Atsumu rubs himself against you, preparing to enter you again. You're sure that he has become even bigger. When the tip pushes through, your body attempts to fight the intrusion in self-preservation. The claws at your hips dig in and Atsumu all but pulls you onto his length like a sock. You scream around Osamu's cock, throat clenching around his thick length, and nearly black out from the stretch.

You never had anything this big in you before. Atsumu lifts you up slightly, his grasp becoming large enough to encircle around your whole waist. Your ankles are still tethered and tug on you, much to Atsumu's annoyance. He easily slices through the bondages with a sharp claw. Now free of restraints, Atsumu can cradle you more easily, finally pushing the last section into you. 

Crack!

You can’t cry while you're stuffed with Osamu’s cock, but tears stream endlessly from your eyes. You’re sure your pelvic floor is broken, completely forced apart in a futile attempt to accommodate Atsumu stuffing you beyond your physical capacity. Your hips give out as your two legs, bone out from their sockets, dangle grotesquely.

“Just focus on me,” Osamu wipes your tears away and continues to pump into you. But you cannot focus on the human object in your mouth when your whole lower half and inwards are broken, stretched or squashed.

"Hey look ‘Samu! It's bulging," Atsumu marvels at the imprint of his tip pushing your flesh out from the inside. “Look, my cock is saying ‘hello’.”

Atsumu excitement translates into messy thrusts, treating your body like a game. “Maybe I can even touch your dick through her!” 

Your whole body is numb, the brain shuts its pain signals off completely, and hormones pour through your bloodstream in overdrive. The broken climax spasms through your body like the last bits of a faltering system.

“Better hurry...she’s...she’s fading soon,” Osamu warns between his grunts. He clasps your head and spurts his seed into you. You mindlessly swallow every drop of him, letting the contents slowly flow down your throat. You can’t process anything nor recognize any of the murky images. Who are you? Where are you?

Your memory fades in and out as your eyesight drifts between black and white. You can’t do anything about how the monster is now on all fours over your body, unrecognizable as Atsumu. You don’t feel any fear towards this grotesque figure. You don’t register how his tongue licks your neck.

Your mouth is now empty but you can’t formulate syllables.

“I’m sorry,” you hear Osamu whisper before sharp fangs pierce into your jugular, digging in deeper and tearing a chunk out. Red sprays across your body in fast spurts, drenching Atsumu and covering Osamu. The teeth at your throat gnaw at the flesh, starved, tearing through the skin, fat, and tissues like a child crunching fruit. 

You can feel the droplets falling onto your face like fresh rain after a storm. You vaguely remember your teacher and her warning of strangers. She always reprimanded you and you wanted to make her proud. There will no longer be any chance of that now. You weren’t a good student, and only an utter failure.

Osamu waits for Atsumu to finish you off. Atsumu always gets messy at this point. Osamu tried to help Atsumu section his prey off by cutting and organizing the limbs and even attempted to debone the meal beforehand, but Atsumu has his preferences, and Osamu respects them. So, Osamu delegates cleaning duties to himself instead. 

You’re already beyond recognition when Osamu comes back with barrels of oil. All that is left is a kitchen stained with blood and a pile of bone with chewed connective tissue left. Atsumu sometimes eats the bones too, but not always.

“‘Tsumu, are you full now?” Osamu asks, reaching out to cradle his twin. Atsumu has now transformed back to the way he is supposed to be. Osamu threads his hand through Atsumu’s blonde hair and inhales his twin’s scent.

Atsumu doesn’t respond and tugs at Osamu’s collar, trailing down his arm to bring Osamu’s hand to his own cock.

Osamu grins and kisses the top of Atsumu’s head. “Do you want to fuck me ‘Tsumu? I know you like to, after your meals.”

Atsumu whines and nips at Osamu’s jaw, pushing the twin down on the blood-stained floor.

“Okay, okay.” Osamu unzips and pulls down his pants before crawling onto all fours.

Atsumu’s hand cups Osamu’s ass and pries the cheeks open before curiously fingering at the specimen plugging Osamu’s hole. Atsumu holds onto the base and turns the object, before laughing.

“‘Samu, what is this you have in your ass,” Atsumu teases. “I like this presentation.”

This time, Osamu is the one embarrassed. “Last meal, it hurt like hell. So...I wanted to prepare a little.”

“With an egg holder?” Atsumu cackles again, fiddling with the ceramic object. “Should’ve just told me ‘Samu, I could never bear to hurt you.”

Atsumu holds onto the base and slowly pulls the object out before tossing it aside. He smiles and teases Osamu’s enlarged hole that’s opening and closing around nothing. Gathering up some saliva, he spits onto Osamu’s asshole before lining his cock at the rim and slowly pushing in.

Along with the curse comes a near insatiable lust. Atsumu knows that if he doesn’t fulfill his need to fuck or be fucked, he will snap. He doesn’t really care who he kills during a frenzy of that sort, but it’s too risky to get Osamu caught up in the collateral.

The witch that wanted to create the perfect weapon, failed. She failed because she underestimated the twins’ bonds for each other. She failed because the twins discovered that witches excrete a very special hormone in their body after climax, and it is exactly that substance that is slowly curing Atsumu. With every witch eaten and absorbed, Atsumu is healing and gaining magical powers. He is even capable of passing those essences to Osamu. One day, everything will be the way it's supposed to be.

Osamu plays with a few strands of Atsumu’s hair. Atsumu’s softened cock still buried inside of him. Atsumu has his jaw resting on Osamu’s shoulder.

“You make me feel so good,” Atsumu sighs, enjoying the quiet moments after his high.

“And what about her?” Osamu asks, gesturing to the table where your remains are still at.

“She made me feel good too. The best one yet, but don’t be jealous.”

“Come on, let’s clean up and get out of here.”

After washing their bodies and changing into clean clothes, Atsumu and Osamu are ready to say goodbye to the cottage they have overstayed their welcomes at.

"Let's go 'Samu, we're already behind." Atsumu finishes dumping the last bucket of oil along the edges of the room.

The clamor of boots stride across the creaking wood. As though with the passing of its owner, the cottage itself has lost the will to live.

"Coming," Osamu calls back, walking past the makeshift funeral pyre for you. He notices a flash on the ground and bends down to pick up a button.

"'Samu! Get the fuck out or I'll burn ya down too!"

"Yea, yea."

Osamu drops the button into his shirt pocket and joins his twin outside. Atsumu strikes a matchstick and tosses the small flame into the cottage. Fire meets oil and spreads in an instance, engulfing the cottage in an angry blend of orange and red, devouring all contents and remains within. The smell of scorched wood reaches the twins who are looking at the sight from a distance.

"She was good," Atsumu comments, looking at his twin unsure about what Osamu's grey eyes are thinking about. Atsumu realizes that he didn't specify what good exactly means. But it doesn't seem like Osamu is paying much attention. Is Osamu thinking about you? Is he unhappy? Does he regret what happened to you? Although what's done is done already, if time can go back, would Osamu choose? You or Atsumu?

Osamu slips his hand into Atsumu's, erasing the unspoken worries away. He gently leads Atsumu onto the trail, leaving the burning cottage behind.

"Stop thinking such nonsense," Osamu mutters, squeezing Atsumu's hand. No matter what happens, Atsumu will always come first. His needs, his desires. That's what it means for Osamu to love Atsumu. Even though the rest of the world may not understand the relationship the twins share, calling it depraved and disgusting, it's still selfless on their part. What sin is there to honestly love? What sin is there to try and save his loved ones?

While Osamu admits to himself that he does feel a deep attraction to you and knows that Atsumu feels the same pull as well, there's nothing that can be done about Atsumu's condition. But it's not as though you are completely gone. Your essences and core are within both twins, being absorbed as one with their bodies and soul. You'll forever be with them in that way, even if you no longer have any sentient memory of it.

Osamu fiddles the button in his pocket; there's still a physical reminder of you in that tiny form.

It must be about a twenty-minute trek from the burning site. Although the flames are already far from eyesight, the scorching smell and embers still drift over. The twins pick up their pace, eager to exit the forest before nightfall and make it to the next destination. On the way, they pass by the tree trunk with a wanted poster.

"They never get my best angles!" Atsumu complains, ripping a wanted poster that is nailed to the tree trunk.

"It's not like you have a good angle, ‘Tsumu."

"Shut it, we look the same ‘Samu. You're just calling yourself ugly too!"

Osamu shrugs and continues his trek down the main trail. Atsumu huffs, tearing the parchment into indistinguishable pieces before throwing the shreds up into the air like confetti.

"Wait up!"

Osamu stops in his tracks. "Hurry up, loser. We still have a long way to go."

Atsumu takes a few wide strides and swings his arm around his twin's shoulder. Behind them, a very light drizzle falls from the sky.

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Nine. Minecraft Dating 101

warnings: swearing, mostly super freaking fluffy but some oopsies at the end (which is the barely-there angst that i mentioned before!!), pet names?? if that bothers you??? (like...... one or both of them might use baby.........) word count: 5.3k (not including pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

A/N: HEHEH SORRY ITS SO LONG SORRY hope you guys like it!!!! hope it lives up to your standards of minecraft dates lol also thank you guys all for all your suggestions!!! i loved all of them so much!!!! i would have added every idea except this was already 5k words so its much less “flirting” and more so “oh gosh im so nervous what am i supposed to do” from both of them so hehe i think thats more endearing anyway

**********

The familiar sound of a FaceTime call connecting rang in Y/n's ears and she held her phone up to her face. "Hi, Karl," she sighed.

"Y/N!!" he said with a cackle. "ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR DATE?!"

"Shut up, I'm doing this for you."

"I already gave you the tour though so really you could back out. You're choosing to stay." His voice was teasing and giddy. "Why's that, hmm?"

Heat rose instantly to Y/n's face. "Because I'm a woman of my word?"

"OkaAaAyy," he sang. "Or because you liiiiikeee himmm."

"Shhhut up, Karl. No, I don't."

"Suuuure."

"Is this why you called me?"

He giggled. "Yeah, but—"

Y/n disconnected the call and set her phone down with a small laugh and a shake of her head.

With her stream started and her chat greeted, the donation limit raised to $100 (both because she didn't want to be flooded with questions on the date and because she didn't want people to donate their hard-earned money), Y/n logged onto Dream's SMP and found the voice call Dream was in, George's name right under his.

After she clicked it to join, a small gasp emitted from her headphones before she heard Dream mutter something. "Get out, get out, leave."

George's voice was normal. "But I wanna—"

"GEORGE!" Dream yelled, making Y/n giggle.

"Fine!" George yelled back. "Have fun you two," he sang like Karl did before a sound from Discord told them that he left.

It was silent for a second before, "Hi."

"Hi." She giggled. "What was that about?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing. Just some last minute, uh, setting up."

She hummed, amused at the sound of his frantic voice.

"So, um... are you ready for our date?"

"I don't even know where you are. I'm still in my house."

"Knock, knock," he said with a laugh. Y/n turned to see green peeking through the cutouts on her oak door and she laughed.

She ran to the door and opened it for him, revealing Dream in a slightly altered version of his Minecraft skin. He looked the same, except the white blob appeared to be wearing a necktie of some sort. "You look ridiculous," she admitted with a smile. "Wait, is this a fancy date? Should I change my skin?"

"It's not fancy, I just wanted to look my best for the prettiest girl in the world."

"Ohmygosh," she muttered to herself, hoping that writing off his charming words and actions as annoying would make her face not heat up as much. So far, it hadn't worked. Two minutes in and she was already blushing like a schoolgirl whose crush asked her to play tag at recess. "So, I'm not underdressed?"

"No, you're always perfect."

She didn't comment, opting for an eye-roll instead. Truthfully, she wanted to flirt back with him, try to make his heart beat fast like hers already was, but she was worried her words wouldn't come off joking and that the true intention would be obvious, that he'd be able to breeze right past the jovial tone and hear the sincerity in her words. Wait, true intention? What was her true intention? Her true intention should obviously be to just joke around and have some fun, but deep down she knew the motivation for teasing him came from somewhere different, somewhere more meaningful.

She wanted to tease him because she wanted to be the one to make him blush, to make him trip over his words and not know what to do with his hands.

Why? Well, she was still figuring that out.

"If you're ready, follow me, ma'am."

"Where are you taking me?" she asked as she followed his character down prime path.

"Hmmm..." he mused. "A secret, obviously."

"Obviously," she scoffed. She noticed that he was several blocks ahead of her and she smiled to herself. "Hey, Dream?"

"Hm?" he asked, spinning to face her as he ran backward.

"I don't know how many dates you've been on, but usually people walk together. You know, gives them an excuse to maybe hold hands or at least enjoy each other's company?" She made sure her voice had just the right balance of teasing and seriousness, curious as to how he would respond.

"I, uh... oh."

"Unless you want me to just meet you there. I mean, you're practically running away from me."

"I'm just excited!" he excused, stopping briefly so she could catch up with him.

"But look at how many beautiful things there around us to look at while we get to where we're going!" she told him. "Well, maybe not that," she said with a laugh as she punched her fist towards Tommy's dirt house. "But other things."

Dream laughed and continued to walk next to her like she requested, pausing if he ever got too far ahead. "How can I look at all those when the most beautiful thing is walking right next to me?"

She's never rolled her eyes so hard in her life. "Shut up," she mumbled as she punched him.

"OW! BUG!"

"That was supposed to be a pat on the arm but Minecraft only has one level of hitting and it's a punch. Sorry."

Dream wheezed briefly before containing his laughter. "This way," he instructed, getting off the path and starting into the woods.

"Oh, really you're trying to kill me. That's why you didn't want me to wear anything nice. Didn't want me to ruin any of my fancy stuff."

"Foiled my plans," he joked lightly. "Okay but really, um, I was thinking—well, so you already have a house but I was thinking we could build one together. Or build something, I don't know. But you're really good at building and I know you really enjoy it so I thought maybe you could show—like, teach me and then later I'll teach you something and then we can have a little picnic dinner."

Y/n smiled at her nervousness. "Hey, that actually sounds really fun!"

"What? What do you mean actually?" He laughed. "What, did you expect me to plan something boring?"

She laughed over his dramatic pouting. "No, but I mean, I didn't know what to expect," she said shyly. "I do have to say, though, I'm not sure what you plan on teaching me. I'm pretty much a master at all possible Minecraft skills, so..."

"Oh, really?" he taunted. "Everything?"

"Mhm," she hummed, her confidence wavering at his smooth voice.

"We'll see about that..."

"Unless you mean you're gonna teach me how to code Minecraft. That's a Minecraft skill I will admit I know nothing about."

"No, no, nothing like that," he said with a laugh.

"Good, save the programming talk for later."

"For laaater, hmmm?" he sang flirtatiously.

"Oh my gosh," she said through a laugh. "You would think that's what I meant."

"Hey, you're the one that said you think it's cute when I talk about coding. Maybe you're into that."

"I was saying it's sweet hearing you talk about stuff you like, you nerd. Why did you immediately think—what, is your idea of dirty talk talking about... like... computer viruses?"

"WhAT?"

"Hey girl, lemme clean out your motherboard," she mocked in a deep voice. "You overclock my processor. Lemme program your, uh—uh...hAHA, nevermind, ew, no."

"BUG?! WHAAAT? What is wrong with you?" His gasps for breath between wheezes made her laugh with him. "Don't ever talk like that again, pleASE."

"I won't, I won't, I'm sorry. Oh my gosh."

"Is that your idea of flirting? You are bad!"

"No, no, no!" She laughed. "I was making fun of you. No, I'm actually really good."

She couldn't stop giggling to herself for a few minutes, embarrassed but also proud of the reaction she got from Dream. She loved hearing him laugh as if he would never stop, it made her heart so happy to hear, especially when she was the one who caused it.

Though she feared her horrible pickup lines, if you could even call them that, were already clipped, ready to be used against her for the rest of her life. Worth it. Probably.

They approached a cleared-out area in the woods and Dream stopped and turned to Y/n. "So, we're here. What should we build?"

"Oh, so now I have to plan? Wow, you are so underprepared," she joked.

"What, no! I originally... I wanted to build a, like, a house together because I didn't— I forgot you made your—your house already and—but since you already have one—"

"We can still build a house," she interrupted with a soft voice. Him fumbling over his words was very endearing but also very confusing. How serious was he taking this bit? Or was he... actually nervous? She was actually nervous but she had reasons to be: a huge live audience to entertain and not ignore, and the weird staticky, itchy feeling in her tummy every time Dream spoke to her. Both valid reasons to be nervous. What was his excuse?

"Really? You wanna build a home together?"

Heat rose to her cheeks at his wording and she hummed. "Mhm. You can be my secret lover I hide in my vacation home. Like a second life kinda deal."

He scoffed. "Oh, now I'm just your side piece, Bug?"

"Nah, you're my main bitch, baby. I just wanna hide you away to keep you for myself because I'm selfish."

There was silence on his end for a few moments, making Y/n's face practically catch fire as she thought about her words. Why did she say that?? How can he flirt all the time but as soon as she says something: dead silence.

"Well.... shhhhhit," he finally mumbled definitively.

"You wanted me to flirt with you, Dream. You literally asked me too!" She laughed, trying to cover up her embarrassment. It had been less than 20 minutes and she already made a fool of herself.

"I did, I did, I just—wow. Come on, that was... I didn't expect you to go from never flirting to calling me baby!"

"Too much?" she bit her lip as she waited for him to explain if it was a good or bad thing.

He paused again. "....no."

She laughed loudly, pulling her hoodie collar up to her face in an attempt to rid herself of the giddiness and heat on her face. Like anyone could see anyway.

"So, a house?"

"A house."

"What kind of house do you think we should build together, Dream?"

"Maybe...." he thought as he ran around the area. "Maybe, like, a log cabin? Since we're in a forest. It's fitting..."

"Very true, very true..." she thought. "I was thinking a castle was more suited for you, king, but a cabin works too."

"Bug!" he yelled, laughter bubbling up in his voice. "What is wrong with you?"

"What?" she said defensively, giggling.

"You're a handful today," he groaned under his breath and she smiled. Though his words said one thing, Y/n could tell he was enjoying her energy.

"So, a dinky, old cabin, or what?"

"Whatever you want to build," he sighed.

"You always this agreeable?"

"Only to you."

"Well, I honestly don't have much practice with building cabins and since I want to show off my skills, I mean, that's the whole point of this, right? For me to impress you with my skills?"

Dream laughed so she continued.

"I think we should build a treehouse."

"A treehouse?"

"Mhm. What do you think? I make a pretty bomb treehouse."

"That sounds awesome!" he agreed. "Oh, and it could go from, like, one tree to another and, like, connect with a bridge! Like, the living room on one and the bedroom on another."

"Yeah, exactly! Okay, it's settled."

"What do we need? What do you want me to do?"

"I'm thinking.... we use cobblestone?"

Dead silent. Literally no noise until a few moments later, ".......Bug. This might be a deal-breaker."

"I'm joooking! You think I'd build something out of cobblestone? Who am I, Tommy? No, what's your favorite wood?"

"Dark oak."

"GOOD. Me too. So.... we need dark oak. Or, wait! Okay, hear me out."

"I'm hearing..." Dream prompted as he pressed A and D on his keyboard back and forth, earning a giggle from Y/n. He character was bouncing left and right is excitement.

"Dark oak planks..." she started.

"Mhm."

"Stone bricks..."

"Go on."

"And green wool for accents."

"Well, now you're just pandering."

"No!" she laughed. "Not, like, lime wool. Green wool. It's close to you but not as... obnoxiously blinding."

"I trust your vision. I'll go get materials."

"Perfect, you're the best, Dweam."

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled before laughing. "You pick out a tree you think would be best for the main part."

40 minutes later, they were nowhere near being done. Y/n had shown him how to make a good house layout after he placed the floor in the shape of a square. She had yelled at him for it first, of course. They also had the frame of the walls and one bridge but nothing on the other side of said bridge. Not wanting the stream to last six hours since this was only the first part of the date, Y/n made a suggestion.

"What if...."

"What if what?" Dream asked, pausing to look at her character, who had stopped fixing his mistakes. "Did I mess something up?"

"No, I was just thinking. What if we make this the whole house and do a little garden on the other side of the bridge? Or like a little cute thing."

"A little cute thing?" Dream laughed.

"You know, like a thing," she said, knowing she hadn't clarified anything. "I forgot this is only date one, you can't read my mind yet."

"Oh, so there are gonna be future dates? I thought this was just to pay off your debt?"

She paused, playing with her hoodie strings between her left hand. "Well, I guess we'll see."

Dream laughed. "So, what little cute thing did you want to make?"

"We could put a bench facing the sunset and have some potted flowers and hang lanterns and stuff."

"Oh, like a romantic spot?"

"I guess if you wanna think of it like that."

"Sounds cute," he said. "So, we have to change the layout in here then?"

"Nah, I mean, we can just not add a kitchen, we obviously don't need one anyway."

"True. Then all we need is to put our bed down, right?"

"Beds," Y/n corrected.

"Well, when they're together it looks like one big bed."

"Who said we're putting out beds together?"

"Buuuuggg..." he whined. "Come on... lemme put my bed next to yours."

She giggled again. What was with all the giggling, sheesh. "No. There's plenty of space, put it somewhere else." She placed her white bed down in the corner and went across the bridge to bring her idea to life, or, to Minecraft.

It only took about ten minutes and she finished when Dream spoke again. "I think I'm done."

"I am too! Let's take one final look around." She went back inside and immediately noticed his bed right next to hers. She stared at his character and he laughed.

"Whaaat?" he asked shyly and she just sighed, letting it happen. They took a look around and agreed that it was basically the best treehouse in the entire universe, both in Minecraft and real life.

"Bug, you're so good at building," Dream complimented as he ran around the house. "What's your favorite part?"

"Ummm...." She looked around before deciding on the bridge. "I like how you made the bridge. And I like the little touches you added to it. It's nice."

"Thanks! I think the 'little cute thing' you did is the best part."

"Shut up, I can't stand you," she scoffed. "But thanks."

"Hey, Bug?" Dream asked, leading her back into the house. He faced the two beds placed together and she prepared herself for the worst joke of all time. "Is this where all the programming talk happens?"

"I knew it! I knew you were gonna say that! Shut up!" She punched Dream as he laughed loudly and she couldn't stop smiling. "You're such a nerd. You're so annoying."

"OH! I have an idea, wait here."

***

It had been a solid eight and a half minutes of Y/n waiting for Dream and he showed no signs of returning. He was silent too, so she resorted to saying random things to get him to crack.

"When will my husband return from war?" she joked, her voice laced with sadness and longing.

There was a small suppressed laugh from his mic, but still no words.

"Sometimes I think I can still hear him laughing at me."

He must have gotten reeeaaalll close to his mic, because his next words, the first ones he had spoken in almost ten minutes, were whispered but she felt like he was in her ear. "I'll be home soon, baby."

Once again, she was so glad her chat couldn't see her because she literally shivered and her face was so warm she felt like she was glowing.

For the first time all stream, her eyes betrayed her and she looked at her chat as she pulled her hoodie collar up to her face.

user18: BUGSY BEIN REEEAL QUIET

user4: i think i just passed out

user11: wHAT ON EARTH DREAM ADKXKH

user7: BUGSY ON GOD BE REAL WITH US WTF IS GOING ON RN

user2: hey bestie i cant do this rn

user9: they can't talk to each other like that and say they're just friends pleASE

Also for the first time all stream, someone dared to donate at her limit (which, again, was ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS).

karakatara donated $100 I had to donate bc I just HAD to tell you how cute you and dream are! honestly my favorite couple ever and I was just wondering how long you've been dating??? love you and your videos!!!!!

It was $100. She had to answer it. Meaning, she had to use words after Dream said that like that and she wasn't sure that was physically possible right now.

"Aren't you going to answer?" Dream taunted.

"Wha—what, are you—you stream watching, you weirdo?" she forced out. "Why?"

"I wanted to read your chat, they're really funny."

"I haven't been reading it."

"What, why? They've been so funny this whole time."

"I've been too scared to."

"Too scared? Of what?"

Of the jokes that she wanted to be real? Of seeing something so cute only to break her heart when she remembers it's all a joke? Of seeing someone hate her for being so close to Dream? Many things.

"Of seeing something... that boosts your ego."

"What? Oh, come on. Hey, answer the dono. Someone gave you their hard earned money for that."

"Yeah, wait, chat, I had the limit that high so you DON'T donate! Why on earth would you—"

"You're avoiding the question."

"We aren't actually dating! Not actually a couple!" she said with a laugh, though something in her heart was very much against laughing at that fact. "Obviously not."

"Well, it's only the first date, so, we'll see I guess, but..."

"I cannot stand you. Thank you so much for the dono, though, Karakatara. You're insane for... yeah. Thank you so much." She turned her attention back to Dream. "Actually though are you ever coming back?"

"Yeah, what, I'm almost there. I see the you staring out the window. ."

When he got inside, he dropped a blue cornflower for Y/n and stepped back. "Okay, now, give that to me."

She followed, not understanding. "For you, Dream." She dropped the flower.

"Aw, Bug! That's so kind! Aw! Thank you! Here's a flower for you, too!" He dropped her a red poppy and then put two item frames on the wall above their beds. He put the blue cornflower above his bed and she followed by putting the red one above hers. "Now that's my favorite part of the house."

"You didn't want to use the real ones? What, did you lose my flower or something?"

"Hell no!" he defended loudly. "No, I just don't want someone to steal that one. It's in my enderchest for safe-keeping."

He said it so casually like it was no big deal, but her heart soared. She too had his flower in her enderchest.

"This," she said dramatically with a sigh, "is now a treehome."

***

"I already told you I'm the best PVP player out there."

"Bug, honey, I've seen you play Bedwars. You're trash."

"Hey!" Hehe, honey. Shut up brain.

"But that's okay! I'm here to teach you."

Y/n's character stood across a makeshift battlefield from Dream's, an axe in hand and armor that was definitely donated by DreamXD on her body. "This is kinda sexist of you. Assuming I know how to name a cute house but not fight."

"Oh no, that's not—crap. Bug, I'm only basing this off of your streams, which I watch all the time—"

Once again, he said something so casual and yet it still made her heart skip three beats and once again, she grabbed the collar of her hoodie and pulled it up to hide her face. This thing had to be stretched by now from how often it was yanked on in this stream alone.

"—and don't get me wrong, you're great! But you're also good at a lot of stuff and—"

"Dream!" she giggled out. "I'm teasing. I admit you're much better than me."

"I wouldn't say much better but... it's the only thing I could possibly teach you anything about because you're just so good at Minecraft." His tone was sarcastic at this point but she knew he was meaning what he said.

"Whatever. Come on, Dream, show me how it's done."

He actually had a lot of very useful tips that Y/n otherwise would have never thought about. I guess when you tryhard Minecraft, she thought, you learn a thing or two about pvp. It was a complete joke, but she still kept it to herself.

"I could basically beat anyone now," she said confidently.

"Yeah, basically. Except maybe Technoblade."

"Nah, even him."

"Let's see how good you really are. To the death."

"What?" She laughed. "You're gonna try to kill me on our date?"

"Yeah, scared?" Seconds later, a creeper exploded near Dream and he screeched, jumping back. Y/n lost it. She laughed loudly, clutching her stomach.

"Dr-Dream!" She laughed. "What the hell was that?"

"It scared me!" he argued. "Here, I'll protect you," he offered, running past her and killing a skeleton that was shooting towards her.

"I don't need protecting, especially from you! Besides, if you're trying to kill me, you'd let the mobs get me."

"No," he decided. "No one's allowed to kill my Bug."

She was literally going to explode. "Wh—"

"Only I get to."

"Dream!" she scoffed, running to kill the skeleton first. She succeeded and he pouted.

"Hey—I did more damage than you, you just had the final hit."

"Really? Cause to me it looks like I'm your knight in shining armor."

"Nuh-uh," he spat.

"Dream. F5 right now, you're covered in arrows."

There was a pause. "Oh whatever." He hit her once and that's all it took for them to start fighting, throwing jokes and taunts at each other the whole time, eventually resulting in a satisfying win for her.

Dream was slain by Bugsy

"WHAT?! HOW?"

<Tubbo> i thogt you were on a date <Ranboo> well definitley not anymore <Ranboo> is that canon <JackManifoldTV> WOMEN

"What was that about you being better than me?" Y/n teased.

"Oh, come ON! I still had damage from the skeleton, and besides, I taught you everything you know!"

"That just makes you a very good teacher, Dream," she said sincerely and he paused, probably expecting her to insult him instead of compliment him.

"Yeah, suck up now that you've murdered me."

***

They were finally at their final stop, three hours into the stream. Not too bad on time, though this was probably the longest Minecraft date in the history of Minecraft dates. Also the best, but maybe Y/n was biased.

There was a huge tree, obviously built instead of naturally generated, with lanterns hanging down and lighting areas of the dark world around them. Under that was a checkered pattern of carpet, a single chest in the center with a potted plant sitting next to it.

"The carpet is supposed to look like a, uh, what's it called... picnic blanket?" Dream explained as they approached the scene, clearly not happy with how it turned out. "It looks weird. Nothing compared to the treehouse you built."

"We built," she corrected. "And this looks awesome, Dream," Y/n complimented. "It's is also my favorite colors."

"Yeah, I had some help from Karl on that one."

She leaned back in her chair in real life and pressed her hands to her face. Oh, it was so unfair how cute he was when he was shy like this. She glanced at chat, which only made her face go from the temperature of molten lava to basically the sun. She was going to explode.

She hummed, a little giggle coming out as well. "That's cute."

She sat (crouched) on the picnic blanket (piece of carpet) while Dream put a disc in the jukebox off to the side.

"Is that a Tommy disc?" she giggled and Dream laughed.

"No, no, no, don't worry. There shouldn't be any continuations of wars interrupting our date."

"Shouldn't be," she emphasized, noticing someone approaching them from the distance.

Dream was about to speak when Quackity reached them and quickly joined the voice channel.

"Oh no," Dream sighed. "We've come so far."

"AYYEEE WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?!" Quackity yelled in his Mexican Dream voice, his voice bubbling with laughter. "IS THIS A DATE OR SOMETHING, MAN?"

"Quackity, go AWAY!" Dream ordered, punching the character who had stripped to his underwear. "YOU'RE INDECENT! THERE IS A LADY HERE!"

Y/n laughed, enjoying the scene of fancy Dream hitting naked Quackity away from their picnic dinner.

"I'm your waiter, I'm your waiter!" Quackity said in his normal voice, still laughing. "DREAM! WILL YOU STO— QUIT HITTING ME!"

This had turned chaotic very quickly.

"We don't need a waiter," Dream informed him.

"Then I'm the singing gram you ordered." He started singing a song and Dream groaned. "HEY THERE DELILAH WHAT'S IT LIKE IN NEW YORK CITY—"

"No! You're being a clout chaser, go away!"

"I'm honestly impressed we made it this far without anyone coming into the voice channel," Y/n admitted.

"I paid them," Dream joked.

"You did not!" Karl's voice suddenly came through and Y/n laughed. "We were all just being polite and staying away but we're getting bored! We've been so patient!"

"Yeah, hurry up! We wanna play!!!" Sapnap whined. "Dream, it's not fair for you to steal Bugsy from us for so long."

"Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed with a laugh as Dream laughed along.

"Just ten minutes! Ten more minutes!" Dream bargained but none of them would have it. "Just so I can say goodbye!"

"No!" George insisted. "Right now!"

"Look, wait, wait, hold on—"

<Sapnap joined the game> <GeorgeNotFound joined the game> <KarlJacobs joined the game>

"—hold ON!" Dream begged, watching as the three boys ran and joined Quackity by the picnic blanket.

Y/n could not stop laughing at all the avatars around them. The date had been so peaceful and cute but all good things must come to a chaotic end.

"Wait, come on, Karl, Karl, Karl," Dream said quickly. "Come here. Bug, just a sec, please. Stay right there."

"Okay," she agreed, curious to see his plan.

Karl followed him and of course Sapnap couldn't help but also join them.

"Okay," Dream whispered loudly, clearly wanting everyone to hear his offer. He crouched and the other two copied. "Just give me ten minutes—"

"Ten?" Sapnap asked loudly.

"Shhh!!! Yes, ten minutes, to say goodbye and, you know, end the date."

There was a long, thick pause. "What exactly are your intentions with Bugsy Games," Karl asked seriously, matching Dream's whisper.

"Well, I wanna make sure she gets home safe, you know, so I'm gonna drop her off and, I don't know, see if maybe.... maybe she'll give me a hug?"

Karl and Sapnap both gasped dramatically and Y/n giggled, sparing a glance at her chat who were all freaking out.

"What the hell?" Quackity said while laughing. He and George were still standing near Y/n so they were just watching the goons with her.

"Bugsy is not that kind of girl!" Sapnap protested. "You think she's just gonna give you a hug?"

"Sapnap! Do you not know how to whisper???"

George let a loud laugh slip before slapping his hand over his mouth, which his mic picked up.

"Okay, Dream, wait, so you're gonna try to... hug her?" Karl clarified. "She won't even let me hug her. Good luck."

"Well, I'm not going to force her into anything but, I don't know, she said something about holding my hand earlier so I just thought maybe there's a possibility—"

"WHAT?" Karl yelled before going back to the whisper. "Okay, okay, don't panic, but that's huge. Dadnap, a word?"

He and Sapnap broke off from Dream and formed their own huddle, except their whispers were incoherent mumblings that weren't even English.

"Oh my gosh," Y/n groaned loudly, an unmistakable laugh behind her words.

"Okay," Sapnap said, rejoining Dream. "We'll give you five minutes but if you take any longer, we're barging in and killing you."

"Yes, sir!" Dream said. "Thank you, sirs."

"Mhm. Okay, break!"

They all uncrouched in sync before Dream ran back to Y/n.

"How did it go?" she asked as if she didn't hear the entire conversation.

"Bad news," he started. "Your dad's want you home."

"Shame, I was quite enjoying my time."

Dream slowly turned towards the boys as if to glare at them for ending the date before turning back to her. "Then, maybe, I don't know, we could do this again sometime?"

"I.... think I'd like that," she said slowly, trying to tease him.

He giggled and told her he was going to drop her off at her house, even though when the date was over, they were all probably gonna mess around together anyway so there was no point in them leaving the group. But it was the thought that counted.

He ended up taking her back to the treehouse, which warmed her heart. She also noticed when they faced each other at front of the door, she could see the four other boys watching them.

"Goodnight, my sweet Bug," he said poshly.

"Goodnight, Dream." He turned away but she stopped him. "Wait!" She moved to his side and made a loud, MUAH, sound before stepping back in front of him. "A kiss on the cheek," she clarified, not wanting him to think she gave him a real kiss.

"Cute," he said under his breath, almost like he didn't mean to say it out loud. "Night night." He turned away and ran down to the others, screaming the whole way. "GUYS, DID YOU SEE THAT? BUG GAVE ME A KISS ON THE CHEEK!! OMG DID YOU SEE, DID YOU SEE?"

Chat was gonna have a field day with that. Actually, with a lot of things that had happened. Oh, she could see the clips and edits now.... oh boy.

**********

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[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Chapter 43: Fuegoleon has a discussion with Nozel about what to make of the title of the Wizard King, ad later on Solara asks about it from Fue; exactly that. What are they planning on doing.

Tag list: @succulentsunrise​ @loosesodamarble​

Keeping in mind that this series contains themes and topics some may find uncomfortable, thus, reader discretion is advised. 

Warnings: There are references to Nozel’s and Selena’s ordeal when they thought that she was pregnant, but in fact wasn’t, mentions of alcohol and drinking, Nozel does get drunk but he’s just sleepy because of it, also there’s a suggestive scene for Fuelara

Length: ~4.2k

Chapter 43: What to say and what to not

Snowflakes. Large, light flakes floated down from the sky as if a thin curtain which would soon coat the world in white. Soon, but not yet, for now they still melted as soon as they hit the stones that paved the road to a bar that had been booked for a private function. This time, however, that function was not a friendly meeting for all of the Captains.

Instead, it was a meeting between just two of them.

Fuegoleon and Nozel had agreed that they should have a conversation, such as the one they were going to have, in a place that was neutral ground, so to say. They shouldn’t talk in the office of either of them, and the meeting rooms of the castle seemed… too official, strangely. As if they would be there to make a definite decision, when in fact they were only supposed to talk about it; about what to do with the title of the Wizard King. If they’d be willing to take on the position.

But. It wouldn’t be an easy discussion, because there was so much to consider, so much weight on the entire topic that Fuegoleon couldn’t help but feel a heavy sigh leaving him before he set his foot inside of the establishment, and was shown to a booth where Nozel already sat with a drink in hand.

“I trust that I’m not late,” he commented while taking a seat.

Nozel’s eyes closed in a slow blink as he took a sip from his glass, and let out something that was nearly a shrug. “You’re not. I’m just early.”

Fuego nodded. Nozel nodded. And they ordered drinks along with a few side dishes for the discussion. Because they were certain that they’d be there for a while, and it had been a log day for the both of them until then already.

“How have you been?” Fuego asked, trying to make small talk.

Small talk. Neither of them were great at it. And the thought that they needed to have something as hollow as small talk, would have seemed ludicrous if not for the setting. But. This time it was welcomed. This time it felt like a bumper, a cushion, between the silence, and the discussion that would follow.

Plus, it wasn’t that they didn’t have catching up to do, or that they wouldn’t have been interested in how the other was doing. Because even if they saw each other quite often, it didn’t mean that they would have talked about personal matters.

“I’ve been… We’ve been fine,” Nozel corrected himself as a hint of a smile appeared on his lips.

“Good to hear,” Fuego nodded. “I hope that married life is treating both of you well.”

“Likewise. I hear that… there has been discussion of … family planning.”

“Correct. I have heard similar discussion between the two of you, and I wish that you shall be blessed.” The sentiment was genuine. It was sincere, because Fue still felt the swirl of his own, consuming feeling of joy within his chest.

Nozel nodded, still wearing a faint smile on his lips as he stared ahead of himself. “I wish that… this time it will be for real.”

“Oh? You mean to imply that…”

“I don’t mean to imply anything.”

Fue wasn’t quite sure how to take the remark, as a result of which, he raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment on it.

“I… simply wish that… now that we’re again hoping for a new addition to the family, that our wishes would be fulfilled,” he explained.

And Fuego understood. He had heard about how they had gotten their hopes up, only to discover that Selena hadn’t in fact been with child, but instead burdened with stress, and thus, there had been a disrupt in her cycle.

“I hope so too,” he replied, but felt the need to add: “for us both”, as an afterthought that made Nozel glance at him, but as the drinks and side dishes arrived, he didn’t ask. Not about the added remark, but instead another thing.

“How are you?” The question felt clumsy, but, held genuine sentiment as well.

“We are well. Enjoying life as newlyweds,” Fue said with a gentle smile, trying to not let the secret seep into his expression, not too much at least.

Nozel hummed in agreement. “It is… quite something,” he agreed as his smile widened, for a short moment. Only a little one, as there was something else to discuss as well. “But that is not why we’re here,” he cleared his throat as they had been left alone, just the two of them.

“Indeed,” Fuego agreed, taking a sip of his drink. “So, what are your plans about accepting the title of the Wizard King?”

The question was perhaps a bit more forward than Nozel would have liked, simply because there was no clear answer to give.

“There isn’t a solid plan, yet. Unless you do.”

“I have been thinking about it greatly, as of late. And though there would be a clear merit in having a leader among us, during these times, changing one so abruptly from the public’s point of view could cause uneasiness. Not to mention how, during the last battle, I cannot say to have performed in a manner that I would expect from a Wizard King myself.”

Nozel nodded, because he agreed, and shared the sentiment for himself.

“And… if I may be as frank as to say, that I … would have preferred to have settled into married life before taking on such a position.” He continued, thinking about how he wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of becoming a new father, only to take onto himself so much work that he wouldn’t have time to spend with his wife and child. And trying to piece together what had become of the kingdom due to the battle, and the upcoming winter, as a king, would surely take him, even more so, away from those he held most dear.

“I understand the sentiment,” there was another nod, the words spoken with a tone that was careful, but soft. This was one of the sentiments he could understand. “I would have wished to have more time to spend with my wife in the early stages of our marriage. Granted that we haven’t been married for long either.”

“But there never seems to be a good time to settle down either, for it seems that there is always a new issue at hand.”

“Mhm.”

The men took another sip from their drinks, taking a moment to themselves.

“So,” Fuego continued after the brief pause. “Are we in an understanding if I say that neither of us is eager to accept the position.”

“We are,” Nozel agreed. “None of use performed in Spade in a manner that would be fitting for the Wizard King.”

“But do we suggest someone else for the position?” That was the next issue at hand. “There is clear merit in having someone lead us through the winter, which would have been a difficult one even without the added pressure of the Devil situation that currently exists in Spade, along with the battle that took place. But on the other hand, there is the very likely fear from the public, that whatever or whoever was able to make Julius disappear, would pose a threat to the country, which would make an already bad situation worse.”

“Not to mention the concern of Julius possibly double-crossing us, which poses another set of issues.” Nozel pointed out.

“Precisely, which is why… I’m wondering it’d be, for now, better to still keep up appearances of Julius being in charge, or not.”

“Rumours are already going around,” Nozel continued. “But we could claim him to be unwell. We have already done so once with Owen.”

“We have.”

“Which would allow us to focus on making it through the winter.”

“I am going to propose suggestions for that, which does involve Thea.”

“Good. Sound sensible,” Nozel nodded with a heavy sigh.

There was another pause that lingered between them, as they simply focused on taking a few breaths, eating the side dishes and sipping their drinks. There was a weight in the bottom of both of their stomachs that twisted and turned in the most unpleasant kind. But they would manage it. They had to manage it.

“So, our suggestion for the rest of the Captains, and Marx, is that we keep the title of the Wizard King as it is, for now, and manage the country the best we can together with the rest of our peers?” Nozel glanced at Fuego from under his brows, speaking out the conclusion.

“I think the public would take well managing them closer. Thus, if we ask each Squad to look into their own quadrants of the country, and see what they have, and what they need, they’ll be more present from the public perspective. And that can bring a sense of comfort. That would also allow each of us to have a smaller workload, because we’d need to only focus to a portion of the country.”

“And we could then have a discussion of how to distribute good between those regions, which isn’t very different from what we’re already doing, since we are overseeing our territories within the country.”

“Precisely, we’d just be expanding the concept to more than what it currently is.”

Nozel finished the drink, but the glass remained in his hand. The heavy, sturdy glass tried to glisten in the dimly lit room, but only managed so much.

“It requires more planning, but I believe it’s a viable solution to present at this time,” Fue continued, finishing his own drink as well.

“It is,” Nozel sighed. “But I need another drink before we continue there.”

“I don’t oppose another round. Solara stated that she’ll be meeting with some friends today.”

“Does your wife not condone you staying out late?” There was a smirk on Nozel’s lips, as he couldn’t resist the remark.

“Do you not want to go home to your wife?” Fue shot back.

“She is out as well.” This time the tone was far more serious, the smirk having wiped off.

“Which is why there is no hurry; to an empty home.”

Nozel let his silence be his reply to the statement. And neither felt the need to continue with remarking how it was pleasant to go out with a friend, every now and then, even if just for drinks. Granted that this was more than just drinks. Or at least, that was how it had started. But. Perhaps it’d be nice, if it would become just having a casual meeting, a drink, with an old friend.

They both needed it, more or less.

---

Just a little bit more… Just, walk normal… Normal. Normal. … I shouldn’t have had that last-, drink. Nozel tried to breathe steadily, and walk in a straight line through the halls of the Silver Eagle’s Headquarters.

Damn the Vermillion alcohol tolerance…

The journey seemed long, and short, at the same time. His pace was quick, but as he was concentrating on his breathing and steps, he couldn’t focus on the passage of time; just taking one step at a time.

A little further… he thought while turning the last corner to the bedroom door, and placing his hand onto the handle.

The door opened, he stepped in, and he closed the door. There…

He stumbled forward, trying to take off his cape with a single motion, but ended up tugging, pulling, and ruffling it as he went on. The cape became thrown onto a chair haphazardly before he sat onto the bed, trying to be as careful as he could. And he did think that he was being careful.

But as he leaned forward, and begun taking off his shoes, there was a sound of sheets ruffling, and a quiet, gentle voice coming through the dimly lit room that basked only in whatever moon’s luminescence trickled around the drapes.

“Did you have fun?”

“It w..as… pleassshant,” he managed.

“Good to hear,” she giggled as he was trying to undo his other shoe.

“I jusht want to sssleep…” he mumbled.

“Mhm,” she hummed, pushing the covers to the side from his side of the bed so that he could simply crawl into bed.

But as he turned, and begun climbing into bed from Lena’s side of the bed, instead of continuing onto his own side, he stopped over her, lowered down, and pressed his head against her chest.

She smiled, and combed her fingers through his hair, dethatching the hairclip as she did so. “Don’t you want to take your clothes off first?”

“The …damn shoes… were… The straps didn’t want to come off…” he frowned while nuzzling closer to her.

The mumble, the words and the meaning behind them that she could make out, made a quiet and muffled chuckle escape her. “Zel?”

“Yeah-, honey…”

“I love you, I really, really do, but… you have he worst taste in shoes…”

“Mmm…”

“You should wear the boots,” she tried, while still running her fingers trough his hair.

“Your feet are cold…” he mumbled as his hold of her grew stronger.

“So are yours,” she giggled.

“You should-, wool socks would be good…”

“Then I’ll make you a deal. I’ll start wearing wool socks at home, if you wear boots outside. Fair?”

“Mmmm… hm…” he shifted over her, rolled next to her and nuzzled close. “I love you…”

“I love you too,” she smiled, looking at him, nearly having drifted off into sleep. “And I take that as an agreement,” she pressed a kiss onto his forehead, still running her fingers through his hair before his breathing steadied, telling her that he had fallen asleep.

Her smile widened at the sight as she pulled the covers over him.

“We’ll talk about it in the morning dear,” she promised, settling down next to him and allowing her own fatigue take over her now that he was home.

---

Fuegoleon walked through the halls of the Crimson Lion Kings, feeling a bit lighter headed, but nothing to worry about. The state would soon subside anyhow, and didn’t compare to how tired he felt due to the workload and his schedule. But. He didn’t have regrets about staying later, and having a few drinks.

It had done him good, both of them good, to get out, to get to talk about official matters, as well as much more casual ones. Catching up had done them both good.

But still, as he reached his bedroom, and he was able to push open the door, comfort set in him for good. Because what greeted him, was the sight of his wife lying in bed, eyes closed.

There wasn’t a conscious thought running through his mind, but what took over him, was a feeling of how that was right. Everything was in place. Even if only within that room; their room. Everything, was as it should be.

He closed the door behind him, trying to close it as silently as he could; sneak across the floor, as quietly as he could. Undress as q-

“How was it?” The question flowed through the air with a soft, tender tone, which felt like home.

“It was good,” he smiled, making his way to the bed and taking a seat on the edge of it. “Did I wake you?”

“No..” she uttered while turning on her back and looked at him. “I was just resting my eyes,” she assured him. “I sleep better when you’re here anyways.”

He didn’t have a reply, not to the statement, and not one that could be given with words. So, instead his hand found hers, and he gave it a squeeze.

There were still so many things he felt that he had to say to her, a swaying ocean of things, sentiments and utterances to give. But none of it came out. All of it needed to be said and didn’t. It was both.

It was both.

“[I love you],” he told her as his thumb drew circles onto the back of her hand. “I’ll come to bed soon,” he assured her with a tender smile.

“Hurry,” she urged him with a slight tease. “Can’t wait to have you close.”

“I’m not very far,” he smirked as his gaze still cascaded over her.

“Not very far is still too far,” she grinned, making him chuckle.

“So, I promise to hurry back,” he told her while leaning closer and pressing a kiss onto her forehead.

I promise, to always find my way to you. To hurry, to you.

---

Fuegoleon sat in his office, trying to concentrate on writing down his suggestions for a plan of action when it came to distributing resources for the upcoming winter, which involved requesting some aid from Thea. Though he would have preferred to have at least one year of partnership before requesting for aid. But. The times called for them, and he supposed that it was more than understandable due to the war they had just gotten out of. In fact, he didn’t simply suppose. He knew so.

It would be more than reasonable. He would be a fool to not request aid, and by doing so not use all the options at his disposal.

And, even if the situation was difficult, out of the decision to make, this was easier to settle. Because, for this one, he had a plan. There had been harsh winters before this, and there would be harsh winters in the future.

This issue he knew how to deal with. But… what to make of becoming, potentially becoming, the Wizard King under these conditions he… didn’t know. He still didn’t know what to make of it, even after his discussion with Nozel.

Neither of them, had an idea on what to do.

There was a knock on his door, but before he could answer, the sound of wood scarping against wood flowed through the air. And the sound, with the flutter of mana that came with it into the room, brought a smile to his face.

“Hey,” she greeted, with a smile, and a tone that was soft, and gentle. A tone that held no hidden meanings within itself.

“Hey,” he greeted back, glancing up from the paper.

She closed the door behind her, and made her way to his desk, sitting at the edge of it, without a word. Because she had just heard a rumour, and though she knew that rumours would be better left at their own value; this, she thought, would conceal, perhaps, a hint of truth in it.

“How was your day?” She asked with a smirk that wanted to be a grin, but which she tried to suppress.

He let out a hum as he thought about it, but nothing quite noteworthy had taken place. “It was relatively uneventful,” he concluded. “We held a meeting in the morning, and I’m making a list of propositions concerning the upcoming winter and how we’ll manage through it, which does involve some aid to be requested from Thea that I think you should be aware of once they become topical.”

“Mhm,” there was a hint of tease in her tone, to which he quirked an eyebrow, but didn’t comment.

“How was your day?” He inquired in return instead, while quietly wondering what was to come.

“I heard an interesting gossip in passing,” she grinned.

“Oh?”

“That the kingdom is in the middle of choosing a new Wizard King.”

He sighed with a slow blink, as if trying to take a moment to set down a burden from his shoulders. “That is one matter that is currently being discussed.”

“And?”

“And it’s being discussed.”

She stayed silent for a while, this time the smirk having turned into a frown, and she simply looked at him. “I thought that this was… that it’s being finalized that Julius isn’t coming back?”

He paused as well, thinking what exactly to say, but the truth was, that he wasn’t quite sure what to say or believe himself. “Nothing is finalized. Yet,” he added.

Her lips parted, just a little, but they did, only to close again as she didn’t really have anything to say.

“For…” he begun, putting down the pen and looking at her. “For you Theans it might be convenient, when dealing with your other allies, to say that Julius is no longer the Wizard King for whatever reason, which is why his questionable behaviour won’t be a problem in the future. But that is not the case for us-“

“I know,” she replied. “Thus, you should choose a new one, right?”

He lifted his hand, and let his eyelids to fall in yet another slow blink, as if to request her to give him a moment. “I know that you know,” he clarified. “But choosing a new one so… abruptly, isn’t quite as simple, and it would mean having to make a public claim that Julius has… either betrayed us, or that someone strong enough has managed to make him disappear. Both of which are deeply unsettling for the public.”

“Isn’t the Wizard King being… even if he was on just a long outing out of his own whims, wouldn’t that be concerning to the public as well? That their King is more interested in pursuing his own interests than those of the public?” She frowned with the question, which, in all honesty, was understandable. The question was a reasonable one.

“The public… don’t know how much time Julius spent on his expeditions. Most of them have very little knowledge and perception of what’s going on with the Wizard King, which is why it was possible to conceal his sudden… lack of aging, but to announce that we’ll be prematurely choosing a new King is a sign of something being wrong.”

She looked at him, still keeping quiet.

“Even if we’re, to put it less than mildly, living in highly unconventional times.”

“So… you’re still not saying anything definite and hoping that he’ll come back?” She had to ask, but he hesitated. And she saw that he hesitated.

“I’m… unsure of what to wish for,” he admitted. “By now, I don’t think there are particularly good options on that front, because even if Julius does come back, there is the question of why was he gone for all this time.” He let out yet another deep, deep sigh, one of the too many that had left his lungs as of late. “Which, even in the best of possible worlds, would make his motives and priorities questionable.” He concluded while picking up the pen again.

“Meaning that… it’s being under discussion, but not exactly a favourable solution? The choosing of a new Wizard King?”

“Nothing is a favourable option,” he repeated with faint melancholy dripping through his tone. This was not how he wanted to start their first year as parents.

She crossed her arms in thought, or she seemed like she was in thought, when in fact, there wasn’t anything concrete running through her mind. No solution to give him.

And yet, he asked: “What are you thinking?” Which, under any other circumstances, would have made her smile. But this was not a small matter.

“I think… that I’m going to take a shower,” she said with a sigh, glancing to the ceiling. The syllables left her, as if shedding a burden.

“Mhm,” he uttered, with a tone that didn’t seem to imply anything. It was a tone of acknowledgement of her statement. Nothing more, nothing less. Even if there, within his mind, was quiet amusement, because there was nothing that could be done about it at this instant. So, taking a shower, and some time for her too, to process this, was as good of a choice to make as anything else.

“A long… shower,” she spoke, this time the syllables dripping from her lips as her eyes turned to him through a half-lidded gaze.

“Mhm,” he repeated as his pen still danced over the document he was working on. The scratching of the pen without even faltering.

“A long… soapy shower,” she continued, taking a step towards the desk. Then another, and another.

“Mhm,” he replied, as the pen, still scratched the surface of the pen.

“You’re welcome to come too,” she purred, leaning over the table, letting those soft, silken syllables flow from her tongue and coat her lips like honey, as her gaze still cascaded over him.

The scratching of the pen ceased. As if having hit a wall. And his eyes turned to her.

His chin stayed where it was, creating an image as if he was looking at her from under his brows, questioning if he had heard right.

But… After the pause that had lingered in the air, him having concluded that he had indeed heard her right. He smirked, shaking his head, and turned his gaze back down to the document, continuing the sentence in the middle of which he had been.

“Well,” she spoke with a flutter in her tone, pulling away. “You know where to find me,” she teased on her way out of the door, swaying her hips a bit more than she otherwise would.

And his eyes… glanced at her, following her as she went, hoping that he’d be able to write down the paragraph as soon as possible.

[chilligyu]

info: lee jihoon/gender neutral reader, pg, best friends to lovers au genre: fluff, romance | word ct: 5.5k warnings: none summary: when it came to love, no one was prepared. not even jihoon, who could spend hours turning words into magic, especially when love was mysteriously delivered in the form of a letter to his locker. note: heavily inspired by to all the boys I've loved before, but with a twist! no love triangles or anything like that, so just enjoy awkward people falling in love! and thank you to @dreamystuffers and @starlightjoong for taking a sneak peek and telling me what you think!

tagging: @xfirebenderx, @moriiyun, @ohmygoshcheese, @gyu-log

Lee Jihoon, a genius in many ways, was never good when it came to words. At least, not the spoken kind. The kind that you had to think up on the spot, responses, answers, comebacks, small talk, he was absolutely terrible at it. But if you gave him the time to think, to really dwell on his thoughts, he could create something truly beautiful. Which was why he preferred to express his feelings with letters. And while, yes, he could pen something magnificent, the next great classic novel perhaps, he typically kept his messages short and to the point. Much like the man himself.

There was one time that he wrote a “letter” that was simply—

F U C K Y O U

—printed out on seven separate sheets of paper and taped to a row of lockers. All in response to a teacher confiscating his iPod. No one could prove it was him, though, and nothing happened in response to it. He never admitted to his crimes, and despite it being painfully obvious who the author of the message was, there was no hard proof pointing to the culprit. It became the most well-known secret at their high school. And Lee Jihoon became somewhat of a living legend because of it.

The only one who knew the truth was you. His best friend. You were his go-to when it came to proof reading all of his letters. He was the writer, you were the editor. Half the time you were also a berating parent, chastising him for trying to assault people with words. Which was also why, more often than not, his letters never got sent. He would sit in his room for hours, writing letters that were either half the length of novels or only a few sentences long, and after giving it over to be edited, it would get tucked away in his desk drawer. Never to be seen or heard from again.

See, Jihoon was an emotional person. Not in the sense that most people would assume, he didn’t get offended easily, one mean comment wouldn’t leave him crying, he was simply—emotional. Whatever he was feeling, whether it be good or bad, it was powerful, sometimes overwhelming. So instead of erupting like a hormonal volcano, which he had already done plenty of, he put his emotions to paper. At the behest of his aforementioned best friend.

“You can’t go around yelling at people.” You began one afternoon just after entering high school. “Even if you’re writing it down, you’re still yelling at people.”

Jihoon, the definition of “hard to read”, was visibly pouting. “You’re the one who told me to write down how I feel. Now I can’t even send these to anyone?”

“I mean, you can.” You backpedalled. “I’m not your mother, despite Seokmin’s insistence. I can’t stop you from doing anything you’ve set your heart to. All I can do is advise you not to because you’re going to have a terrible few years here if everyone hates you.”

He clearly wasn’t thrilled by your logical response, but he admitted defeat anyway. “Fine. Don’t send the letters that I write. I get it. No one wants to read them.”

You groaned loudly. “You are so dramatic. I’m saying don’t send the literal hate mail to people. Don’t send the stuff you write to vent out your feelings. But if there’s something you want to say to someone, something that you can’t bring yourself to say out loud, by all means! Send the thing! I know you loathe the idea of talking to people, you also hate being misunderstood more.”

He also hated how well you knew him, not that he would ever say that out loud.

That was also something he wrote down in a letter, one he decided to send.

You crumpled it up immediately and threw it back at his face.

“Letters are powerful things, Jihoon.” You added. “They can break hearts, mend souls, and change lives with nothing more than words. Because words mean so many different things to so many different people. You just gotta say the right ones.”

At first, he was only humoring you. Honestly, he thought you completely senile until he gave it a shot. After spending hours hunched over his desk writing things no one else would see, he was starting to realize that maybe you had a point. Instead of roaming the halls shouting obscenities in his head, he was able to reassure himself by knowing he could write about it later. Even the smallest grievance, he would write it down. He would sometimes scribble it down on the margin of a textbook if he was feeling particularly overwhelmed in the middle of the day.

The letters became his therapy, his outlet, eventually he could stroll past some annoying upperclassmen and not feel rage coursing through his veins. It was—nice, almost. Not being subjected to his own hectic imagination at every turn. Feeling at peace for the first time in what felt like ages.

Until he found a letter in his locker, one addressed to him during his senior year. From a secret admirer. The contents of which would be seared into his memory for the remainder of time.

Lee Jihoon, it began.

I have never been able to tell you how I feel, in person or in a letter. For several months now, I’ve tried. I’ve tried to write letters like you for so long, and I just can’t get the words right. I don’t know how you do it. So I’m going to do something different. I’m going to stop being scared. If you meet me in the courtyard after school, I’m going to be brave for the first time in my life. Please help me be brave, Jihoon.

Again and again, he read that short letter. Practically baffled that someone out there wrote an honest-to-god letter that was addressed to an honest-to-god person. And that he wasn’t the writer, that he was the recipient. The thought alone made his heart race, and to comprehend that this secret admirer perhaps harbored feelings towards him? It was next to impossible. But no one writes a letter without true emotion behind it. That’s a fact he was coming to understand.

“I need you to come with me.” He told you after showing you the letter. “I’m—I’m not sure I can do this alone.”

You rolled your eyes. “Jihoon, obviously this person doesn’t want to make a public event out of their confession. You should really do this without me.”

“I know, and I’m not asking you to stand at my side or anything.” He reiterated. “Can you like—stand in a bush or something? If I know that you’re there I won’t feel the need to—"

“Did you just ask me to stand in a bush?” You guffawed. “You did not just ask me to stand in a bush Lee Jihoon because if you did then you’re about to get your ass kicked into next year!”

“I didn’t mean literally!” He quickly denied when he did, in fact, mean it literally. “Just—stand around the corner, okay? Be my moral support!”

Pursing your lips, you knew that there was no getting out of this. “Alright, fine. I’ll come with you. But I’m not happy about it.”

“I’ll pay you back, I promise.” He swore. “Have I ever told you that you’re the best?”

A smirk teased at your lips. “You could mention it more.”

“Consider it done.” Jihoon grinned, gathering up his things and heading for the door. “Don’t forget! After school! Courtyard! Don’t be late!”

Once he was gone and you were completely alone, your face fell in disappointment. “I wouldn’t dream of it…”

By the time that school was finally over for the day, Jihoon was a bundle of overactive nerves. He was excited and terrified and anxious and nauseous all at once. The bombarding sensations kept him cemented in place, gripping the edge of his desk until his knuckles were about to burst through. He had been like that for the entirety of their last class, still as a statue as a cold sweat broke out across his brow. You were standing in front of him, head tilted and wondering what he was planning to do next.

“Class is over.” You reminded him. “Everyone’s left.”

Very slowly, he nodded. “Y-yeah. I can see that.”

His voice sounded as if it had been completely stripped down. Like he had screamed himself hoarse by saying those few words.

“Your secret admirer is probably waiting.” You tried to spur him. “We should get going before I change my mind and head home.”

He audibly swallowed past a lump in his throat. “Well—maybe that’s best. Yeah, I can wait until tomorrow.”

You eyed him incredulously. “You’re going to stay here until tomorrow. You’re insane, get up.”

“I’d rather not.”

“And I’d rather not grow old and die here.” You countered. “C’mon, Jihoon. Your admirer asked you to help them be brave, how exactly is this helping them?”

He had to admit, you had a point. If they were brave enough to put their feelings out there, he had to at least meet them half way.

Sighing loudly, he started to pry his fingers off his desk. “Alright, fine. We’ll do things your way.”

You rolled your eyes for perhaps the hundredth time. “You’re absolutely insufferable. Why do I hang out with you?”

“Because I’m funny.” He said with the most serious face in the world.

Which actually made you laugh.

“I hate you.” You chuckled. “C’mon, let’s get going while we’re still young.”

Jihoon inhaled and exhaled deeply to calm himself down.

This is just the beginning.

Except—it wasn’t.

He stood in the courtyard, seemingly alone, with the note that brought him there clutched tight in his hand. As his moral support you were keeping your distance, as promised, but no one else joined you. Minutes passed and he did his best to remain hopeful. It was hard, especially when a familiar voice nagged at the back of his mind. The same one he struggled with every day to ignore.

No one would ever like you, so why did you bother thinking otherwise?

While the negative thoughts slowly took over, Jihoon didn’t know what to do next. He was defeated, almost destroyed. And even though you walked up behind him and took his hand in yours, it did little to stop the bitter tears from welling in his eyes.

“I should’ve known…” He whispered angrily. “This was all just—a joke. It’s always a joke. Who could ever like me?”

“Stop it, Jihoon.” You hissed at him, squeezing his hand tighter. “They said they were scared, maybe they couldn’t follow through with it. Maybe they were afraid of being rejected. You never know what’s going through someone’s head. Don’t beat yourself up, okay?”

Nothing you said was going to make him feel better. He quickly wrenched himself from your grip and backed away from you.

“I’m going home.” He clipped. “Bye.”

Before he left, he made sure to crumple up the note and toss it at your feet. When his heart was broken, he wore it on his sleeve. You understood what Jihoon was feeling, he had been living with an extremely low self esteem due to his height and his general inability to make friends for as long as you knew him. He was quiet, shy, reserved, he was slow to open up to others and hesitant to trust. That’s why you tried to be excited for him, and now that things hadn’t gone as planned in more ways than one your heart ached just like his.

The next day, Jihoon strolled into class like a drunk zombie. By the looks of him, he hadn’t slept a wink. Too busy being destroyed by his own thoughts to bother with anything like sustenance or sleep. He took up his seat beside you, and you immediately shoved your desk into his.

“Still upset?” You asked, even though you already knew the answer.

Sluggishly he lifted his head up and then quickly dropped it back down.

It was worse than you thought.

“Are you going to talk to me today?” You teased in an attempt to get a reaction. “Or am I going to have to go bother Hansol?”

Grumbling slightly, the barely responsive mass that was your best friend raised his hand and dropped a crumpled wad of paper on your desk. At first, you assumed it was just another one of his letters. They weren’t uncommon when he was feeling—unwell.

But it was another note from his secret admirer.

You were startled because he didn’t usually stop at his locker in the morning.

Lee Jihoon, it started similarly.

I’m sorry for not showing up yesterday, I was scared. I couldn’t bring myself to face you, please don’t be mad at me. I’d like to keep writing you letters, if that’s okay. Let’s get to know each other and maybe one day I can be brave again.

Once you were finished reading, you immediately began analyzing Jihoon’s face again. You had never seen him look like this before, completely vacant. While he was hard to read to the entire world, he was always an open book to you. Now reading him was nearly impossible even with your expertise.

“What are you gonna do?”

He shrugged lazily. “I don’t know. Sit here for the rest of eternity. Wait for the soft embrace of death.”

“Jihoon.” You exasperated. “We both know you’re not actually going to do that.”

Except he actually might and you actually couldn’t take that chance.

“Are you going to write them a letter?” You tried, again. “Maybe that will work out better.”

“I already did.” He murmured. “I don’t think they want to read it though.”

“Jesus Christ…” You groaned loudly, taking Jihoon’s face in your hands and looking him dead in his lifeless eyes. “They still like you, they’re scared and human like the rest of us, it is not the end of the world! Give them another chance and stop being such a goddamn drama queen!”

Silence. Pure unadulterated and perfectly aggravating silence.

“Alright, you leave me no choice. I’m bringing out the big guns.”

Being careful to keep an eye on the teacher, you pulled out your phone and started texting Jihoon’s mother. According to your message, you and Jihoon were going to be studying late at the library, and he would probably need to spend the night at your house. Which wasn’t a complete lie, maybe you would get some studying done. But, in all honesty, you had other things in mind.

“Take your pick.” You instructed, a box set in each hand. “Descendants of the Sun, or Record of Youth.”

Immediately after school, you dragged your best friend to your house and sat him down in front of the TV. Your parents didn’t even question it when you told them this intervention was a matter of life and death, that the patient might need to be admitted for the night. They simply let you do what needed to be done.

Jihoon, who had been relatively catatonic for the past 24 hours, finally showed a glimmer of something. He gave the slightest suggestion of a nod towards Descendants of the Sun and you happily popped in the first disk. As you claimed a spot beside him, popcorn and banana milk in tow, he naturally relaxed against you. You were the only person who got to see him unguarded like that, the only person he himself would allow. And while he was typically someone who kept his true self hidden from the world, there was a part of him that would forever belong only to you.

“Thanks.” He practically whispered, resting his head on your shoulder. “I—I needed this.”

“I know.” You smiled. “Are you ready to talk yet?”

He sighed heavily. “No. Not really. I still have a lot of thinking to do.”

“Well, if you need help thinking you know where I’ll be.” You offered without wanting to seem pushy.

If you weren’t mistaken, you could’ve sworn he actually chuckled.

“Yeah. I do.”

Little by little, your best friend was slowly returning to normal—or as close to normal as you’ve ever seen him. Eventually he started getting sucked into the drama, going rigid when things got tense, and actively pretended he wasn’t crying whenever You Are My Everything played. It was, overall, a job well done. You could sleep easy knowing that Jihoon would be just fine. As you drifted off, you felt him hold your hand and squeeze it gently.

Everything was going to be okay.

And if only to prove that point, the next day was nothing like the one before. Jihoon was back to his old self as if nothing had happened at all. Just another Thursday without a word or whisper about the chaotic tornado his secret admirer had unleashed onto your day-to-day life. He even had a letter for you to read by the time lunch rolled around. Apparently, some freshman irritated him over something seemingly small. At least—to you it seemed barely worth mentioning. But nothing ever really felt small to Jihoon. It was all or nothing, always living in black and white. Which meant that almost everything was important to him in some way. So you read the letter, and you edited it gladly.

Once you were done, he had something else for you. Another note from the admirer.

“This is the third one, right?” You murmured, glancing it over once before looking up at him. “Have you written back yet? Besides the one where I assumed you insulted their very existence with your entire arsenal of hurtful words.”

The blush crawling up his neck was an answer in and of itself, but the thick stack of paper he pulled out of his backpack solidified it.

“I’ve tried a few times.” He admitted hesitantly. “Nothing I write is good enough.”

“Oh, only a few times?” You teased, knowing full well that Jihoon’s definition of a few was the same as calling Jane Eyre a short shopping list. “What’s got you so stuck? Usually you have no issues penning essays over trivial things like cracks in the sidewalk.”

His brow furrowed defiantly. “Hey, proper sidewalk and road maintenance is important to modern infrastructure. If we start overlooking cracks in the pavement, then what? What about traffic lights? Can we afford to allow a single bulb to go out? No, of course not. That’s anarchy.”

You couldn’t believe your ears.

“Jihoon…” You started with an exasperated look. “I was joking.”

Trying to hide the fact that his blush was turning a deep crimson, and failing quite miserably, he pulled a paper from the stack and put it back in his bag. Also something he tried, and failed, to hide from you.

“Are you kidding me!” You laughed, raking a hand down your face. “Did you seriously have a letter in that pile you were going to send to our congressman?”

“No—yes—ugh!” He groaned. “Can we forget about the stupid sidewalk for a second! That’s not important right now! Help me! How do I do this?”

Deciding you had teased your best friend enough, you placed your chin in your hand and smiled at him. “How do you do what, exactly? I’ve never had anything to do with the letters you write, I just read them so someone knows how you’re feeling.”

Who were you kidding, you could never tease Jihoon enough.

He rolled his eyes so hard that he rolled his whole head with them. “Like you’ve ever needed further insight into my head, you always know what I’m thinking before I do.”

True.

“But I don’t understand the first thing about—this.” He finished with a labored sigh, gesturing sharply to the handwritten novel in front of him. “You know that better than anyone.”

Again, he was telling the truth. In the years you had known Jihoon he had never developed serious feelings towards someone else. He had barely entertained the notion since entering high school. He always talked himself out of it because feelings were complicated and bothersome. Plus, he was terrified of being rejected. Like most people are. His intrusive thoughts just so happened to be louder than most.

“I hate to break it to you, Jihoon,” You started in a whisper, “no one knows the first thing about this. Not even me. The only person who can help you is yourself.”

His sour expression made it obvious that he obviously didn’t like your response. “Great. Super helpful. Thank you for your continued wisdom.”

When he moved away from you, you grabbed him by the sweater and pulled him back in. “Why do you always stop listening to me when I’m about to make my point?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Because it takes you forever to fucking get there.”

“Alright, you got me there.” You chuckled. “Listen, I’m not kidding when I say that you’ve got to do this one on your own. As much as I can usually sense what feelings are doing somersaults in your stomach, this is a first for you and therefore a first for me. I’ve never seen you like this before, so unfortunately you’ve got to discover this one on your own.”

As you spoke, his features slowly softened until all that remained was a very nervous teenager who didn’t want to screw up his first real chance at love. That’s all Jihoon was at his core, that’s all anyone was.

But you had to admit he almost looked kind of cute.

Almost.

“How do you always know what to say?” He grumbled while crossing his arms. “It’s annoying.”

“You’ve got a really weird way of saying thank you.” You smirked playfully. “Well, maybe this last nugget of advice will get you started in the right direction.”

“Why are you always—” He seethed through his teeth. “How are you still not at whatever your point is!”

You shrugged, because you honestly had no clue. “I'll get there when I get there. You want to hear it or not—”

“Spit. It. Out.”

“Now is that anyway to—”

Wow. You stopped, suddenly fearing for your measly life. If looks could kill—

“Alright, alright, you win.” You conceded. “If you’re having issues writing a letter to your secret admirer, here’s my advice. Stop trying to put words to your feelings and start putting feelings into words. You’re spending too much time trying to say it perfectly that you’re not saying it at all. It doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else, it doesn’t even need to make sense to you. So long as you put them out into the world, they’ll be heard and one day they’ll be understood. You get me?”

The look on his face was—strange. You had a hard time placing it, which should’ve been weirder than it was. In fact, you were seeing lots of different sides to Jihoon lately, sides you never thought existed. This time his eyes widened, the aforementioned scarlet blush had disappeared, and there was a radiance to him that you had never seen before. Like suddenly he could see clearly through the storm of his thoughts.

“Thank you.” He exhaled with a smile. “I’ve never thought about it like that before.”

Feeling triumphant, you wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “I’m starting to wonder what you’d do without me, Jihoon. Three days and you’ve been completely undone and redone by this letter.”

“Letters are powerful things.” He muttered. “They can break hearts, mend souls, and change lives. You taught me that.”

“I guess I’m a pretty good teacher.” You boasted, giving him a squeeze. “Despite the fact that I’m actually quite terrible with words.”

He shrugged off your arm. “Except you always know what to say, how exactly does that work?”

“Just because I can make you see reason doesn’t mean I’m good with words.” You laughed easily. “That simply means that I’ve perfected the art of understanding the impossible. Lee Jihoon. I can’t use words like you do. Trust me I’ve tried, I can never get the words right.”

For a moment, he didn’t have any sort of response. Which was definitely weird. It was a well-known fact that he was terrible with the sorts of words he had to speak, but he didn’t have issues when talking to you. That’s because you were friends, best friends. There had never been this sort of unnerving silence before. Not that you could remember, anyway.

What is going on in your head, Jihoon? You found yourself wondering since you couldn’t read his face. Have you started to figure it out?

“Sorry, I was thinking.” He muttered suddenly, shaking his head. “But I know what I need to write now. Will you read this one too? Even if it gets pretty long?”

“Of course!” You exclaimed with a smile. “When have I ever shied away from a challenge?”

The soft glisten in his eyes made your heart flutter.

“Never.”

When the bell rang and you parted ways, you wondered if Jihoon had ever written you a letter.

Well there’s a first time for everything.

For the next week, he was in full writer mode. And there were no more notes from his secret admirer, not that you expected there to be any. Every chance he got he was scribbling something down on whatever surface he could get his hands on. Textbooks, paper, his arm, he was more inspired than you’d ever seen before and nothing was going to stop him. He didn’t even come over to your house over the weekend, a ritual you hadn’t broken in the ten plus years you had known each other. It was a lonely week, for sure, but you knew it was for a good cause.

Then, after what felt like an eternity of silence, he approached you in the courtyard with a single sheet of paper in his hand.

“Hey…” He started uneasily, his grip tightening. “How’re you?”

Seriously? You mused to yourself with a smile. “I’m good, how’s the writing?”

“Done.” He clipped. “And—I think I covered everything.”

“Are you sure?” You asked, eyeing the sheet of paper. “With all of that writing I thought you’d have a novel for me.”

He shook his head, while a blush crawled up his neck. “Sometimes being concise is more effective than being overly wordy.”

“That’s true.” You grinned. “Easier for me to edit anyway.”

Nodding, he shoved the paper into your hand. “Here. Take your time, I don’t want you to rush it.”

“I won’t.” You promised, resisting the urge to start reading right away. “I know you put a lot of thought into this.”

With that, he turned around and walked off without another word. Leaving you holding something that looked like little more than pen ink on paper, but felt like a confession on fire. Once he was out of eyesight, you exhaled a breath you had been holding unintentionally and started reading.

To the person I have never loved before. It began, and you weren’t prepared for the roller coaster you had willingly climbed into.

This isn’t for the person I’ve loved all along, no. This is for you, someone who managed to stir my emotions more than a raging monsoon with only a few words and the hint of a promise. Who are you? I wondered to myself, because you were without equal. How could I have missed you? You were extraordinary. You didn’t have a face, all I had of you was a letter slipped into my locker, you were a ghost and I was set ablaze by your words. I had never felt like that before, my heart was unprepared. As was I. You made me question everything, and made me realize things I had never seen before.

What I felt for you wasn’t love, even though I thought it was at first. You presented me with feelings I decided I would never feel, so I could only assume that it was love. I felt like a live wire, ready to spark at a moment's notice. All I could think about was you. The infinite options and scenarios I dreamt up, all because of you, was astronomical. It was exhilarating, and I found myself drunk on the endless possibilities that you presented me. What else could make me feel that way, if it wasn’t love?

The answer was one I didn’t expect, and it hit me like a tsunami. I started to feel that way towards someone I already know. Someone who has cared for me more than anyone should, they have been my best friend for years so how could I suddenly feel the same way? How could my friendship for them become intertwined with the love I thought was solely reserved for you? And how could I have missed it after being enveloped by their warmth for so long?

You changed all of that. You made me see clearly for the first time in years and I was completely undone. Everything I knew was suddenly challenged, my feelings towards the most important person in my life changed without any warning, and I didn’t know what to do. How could I ask them, a friend, to see me as anything more? I was lost, trapped in an endless loop of destructive thoughts and desire. Desperately wanting to scream my feelings from the rooftop while fearing the voice that would have to put words to them. Your feelings for me awakened my feelings for them, and suddenly the words that have given me comfort for so long escaped me.

Still, you helped me.

In ways I can only thank with this letter.

You helped me because you are the one who told me to start writing letters. It’s always been you. You are the one who has given my thoughts meaning when I struggled to communicate with the world. One that could never understand someone like me. You are the one who wrote me a letter, asking a coward to help you be brave. It took me a while to realize that you were one and the same, but I picked up on the hints you left behind. I’m sorry it took me this long to figure it out.

Would you have showed up had I not asked you to come with me? I think about that often, were you only afraid because my initial thought was that there was no way it could be you? The impossible notion that my best friend could love me anymore than they already do? I have a thousand more questions I want to ask you, but I think I’m brave enough now to ask you in person.

So I’m going to end this letter here, because you deserve so much more than the words I’ve hidden behind for years. A letter I started to write for someone I thought I didn’t know, to the person I’ve never loved before. Funny, how it ended up being a letter to the person I’ve loved all along.

As you read the last line, tears already streaming down your face, you had never felt happier.

“You figured it out.” You whispered, almost in disbelief. “For a second there I thought you never would.”

You don’t know when Jihoon came back, but he was suddenly standing in front of you taking your hand in his. “It really shouldn’t have taken me that long, I’ve only seen your handwriting a thousand times before.”

Laughter bubbled past your lips as you dried your tears with your sleeve. “I was terrified that you would’ve figured me out from the very beginning. Looks like I really give you too much credit sometimes.”

“You do.” He agreed. “So, what did you think of the letter? Any edits you can think of?”

“This isn’t the type of letter that needs editing.” You stated plainly. “It would take away from the author’s meaning.”

“What would that be?” He asked, clearly teasing you. “Enlighten me.”

You shook your head defiantly. “No, no way. It’s your letter, why don’t you tell me what it’s supposed to mean?”

Part of him didn’t want to make it easy, that much you knew with absolute certainty. But, for the sake of time and your poor heart, he would let you off the hook. Just this once.

“That I love you.” He said softly. “More than anything else.”

Choking out a sob, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in close.

“I love you too, Jihoon.”

In the end, neither of you were good with words, but you only needed to know what to say to each other.

[netheritenugget]

How To Fandom

Okay I’ve been really really wanting to write a masterpost about how to stay sane on this website for a while now, and I think it’s time.

So You Joined The Dream SMP Fandom/Basically Any Fandom.  You Feel Like You Are In Hell.  How Do You Keep Sane?

The block button is your friend.  Unless the person who has been blocked tries messaging you or interacting with your posts, then they’ll never find out they’ve been blocked.  You can also do something called “softblocking,” which is blocking and then unblocking them to make them unfollow you.  Chances are they might not even notice you’re no longer on their feed.  Block people who annoy you.  Block people who give you bad vibes.  Block everyone and anyone who makes you uncomfy.  It’s worth it.

Tag filter tag filter tag filter.  Tumblr has its own tag filtering option.  If you block the word “gore” it won’t block “gore tw” but it’s good to use because it will synch all your filtered tags between mobile and desktop.

If you use Chrome, you should install the New Xkit extension.  It has lots of different filtering options, like the option to block individual posts and all variations of them, blacklist words, hide advertisements, and more.  There’s also additional accessibility options.  Seriously I cannot reccomend being able to block posts enough, it’s extremely helpful for clearing your feed of the same annoying rants that keep popping up over and over again.

Turn off anon unless you’re comfortable with having it on.  Anon is a nice way for friendly shy people to message you, yes, but it’s not worth it if there’s people flooding your inbox with hate.  You are not a coward for wanting to see the faces of the people who felt the need to take the time out of their day to bait and harass you.  Anons harassing you this way want you to post their answers for others to see, because if it was just about making you feel bad, they’d PM you directly to tell you how much they hate you.  No, it’s about the fact that they can do it with zero repercussions.  Don’t let them get the chance.

Take breaks.  Log out of the app and have some food and water.

If you see a post that makes you angry, ask yourself if seeing the same topic in a week will make you just as angry.  Ask yourself if it’s worth it to spread that anger to others.  Is the information in the post verifiable?  Does it need repeating?  If the answer to any of these questions is “no” I suggest not spreading it.

If you’re about to argue with someone over their stupid opinions, ask yourself...  “Will this argument die out after five minutes?  Am I prepared if it goes on longer than that?  Is this person probably too stupid to comprehend that they’re a moron?” and if the answer is “yes” then just take the moral high ground and leave.

If you have a post you’re not sure about (maybe it’s controversial, or maybe you’re just feeling extra anxious today), save it to your drafts and come back to it later.  It may also help you find typos.

Posts that have already been made can be changed to “private” which will allow you to see them, but nobody else.

Alright Those Are Cool Tips!  How Do You Make Tumblr Better For Others?

Be respectful of other’s boundaries.  Unless you’re friends with a blog, do not assume they’re comfortable talking about absolutely everything with you.  The big blogs on this site don’t have social media managers, they’re not therapists, they’re just normal people who didn’t need to wake up to requests for feet pics.  Please be nice to them.

Don’t put unrelated character tags on your posts, it’s especially rude when I’m scrolling through the Eret tag and see unrelated fanart of different characters entirely.

Leave the “#m*neblr” and “#m*necraft” tags alone.  It’s not for us.  Use “#mcyt.”

When you trigger tag things like seizure warnings make sure you’re actually using the correct tag for such things.  For example if you’re tagging gifs for epilepsy warnings, “#epilepsy warning” is better than “#epilepsy” since the first tag is a warning, and the second tag is just the name of the medical condition itself. (Don’t have epilepsy, it’s just a good example)

I love it when people leave nice things on my posts!!  I love it so much!!!!! Putting things in the tags is nice if you think your comment might be cluttering, but you want others to see it don’t be shy about slapping it into the reblogs :)

Remember that there is a myriad of reasons someone might not have answered an ask you sent!  Tumblr really does eat asks sometimes for unknown reasons, the contents might not have made the recipient comfy, or they might have cleaned the inbox out, or they just might not have wanted to answer it.  The recipient might not be comfortable with you sending an ask about where the first one went, but if they are, please be polite and know they don’t have to answer you if they don’t want to!!

Sometimes fandom drama can get out of hand.  You know the author of the Dream Apologist Manifesto?  They got death threats.  Don’t contribute to harassment, no matter how much you think it’s deserved.  Don’t be that guy.

If anyone else has anything useful to add, feel free!

[viking-raider]

Hoist the Colours - Part II

Summary: You try and survive being Henry's captive, while your father plans on how to get you back.

Pairing: Henry Cavill/Reader

Word Count: 7,629

Warning: PG-13 - Pirate!Henry, Some Dark Themes, Language, Kidnapping, Ransom, Captivity, Possible Trigger Warning, Unwanted Physical Contact, Angst, Fluff, Bondage

Inspiration: Pirates of the Caribbean and Henry Cavill!

Author's Note: Gotta love Pirates!

Tag List Blog: @viking-raider-taglist

Henry woke with the sun glittering off the ocean and into his face and groaned, rubbing at his bearded cheeks and sat up, rolling his stiff neck and shoulders. His body was sore after the battle the day before, he crossed the swaying room and poured himself a stiff drink and quickly downed it with a groan.

Splashing some water in his face from a small basin, Henry peeked through the narrow gap between bed curtains and saw you sound asleep, before a light knock sounded on the still locked door.

“What is it?” He asked, opening the door to his first mate, Benjamin Nullings.

“Morning to you too, Captain.” Nullings greeted him back, with a smile.

Henry shook his head at the man, a smile tugging at his lips. He and Nullings had known each other for a good many years, back when they were both crewmen on another Pirate's ship, before Henry acquired the Crimson Jersey, a Spanish Galleon, and he made Nullings his First Mate, being one of the only men that he trusted.

“Good morning, Benji.” He replied to him.

“Well, good is going to depend on how you take the news I have for you.” Nullings answered, his brow creasing.

“What news?” Henry frowned, not liking the tone or the look Nullings was giving him.

“It's Valentine.” Nullings said, clearing his throat and rubbing the back of his bald head. “He was injured in the skirmish yesterday, took a musket ball to the arm. The surgeon had to take it off during the night, but he ended up bleeding out and died early this morning.”

Henry's head dropped back with a growl. “Fuck.”

“Exactly.” Nullings nodded, pressing his lips together. “You know old man Norris entrusted us with his son to try and straighten the boy out, not get his arm blown off or him killed.”

“He's going to kick up quite the fuss back at the Island for this.” Henry groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Has Quartermaster Astley tallied up the new loot?”

“He has, and we should make a very tidy profit of ten thousand pieces of eight.” Nullings informed him.

“Divided by a thirty man crew.” Henry squeezed his eyes closed and did the math. “Three hundred pieces per man. Norris will want his son's portion plus compensation for his death. Give him Valentine's portion and I'll compensate Norris for the death of his son.” He told Nullings, pushing his jaw forward.

“Once we get back to the Island, that is.”

“I'll have Astley make a note of it in his logs.” Nullings nodded, agreeing with his Captain and friend. “How's our bargaining chip holding up?” He asked, with a knowing smile.

“Stubborn and feisty.” Henry replied, glancing over his shoulder.

“Typical of all women.” Nullings laughed, his head thrown back.

“True enough.” Henry agreed, looking back at him. “Have Ellis keep us on course for Tortuga, but we won't be harboring there. So, have him anchor us off shore and the men will row out to it. They've earned a jaunt on shore after being at sea for the last eight months.”

“When we get the girl's ransom, do we still intend on returning to the Island?”

“Yes, we won't be able to hold anything more and we're already starting to ride lower in the water than we should.” He commented, running a hand through his hair.

“Well, we'll be in Tortuga within two days.”

“Excellent.” Henry nodded, pleased. “Have Valentine's body put in a shroud and we'll pay our respects to him this afternoon.” He instructed him, hearing you start to stir, disturbed by the sound of their voices.

“Aye, Captain.” Nullings nodded his head at Henry and went about his duties.

Henry closed the door as you pulled back the curtains, whimpering as the bright sunlight hit your unprepared eyes. “Good morning, pet.” He purred, smirking at you as you brushed your sleep tousled hair out of your face.

You huffed at him, rolling your eyes at his continued nickname for you, but didn't answer his greeting.

“Someone is a grumpy morning person.” He chuckled, openly teasing you.

“Only with bloodthirsty pirates.” You growled at him, trying to soothe the wrinkles in your skirts.

“Well, they don't call me Henry the Red for nothing, pet.” Henry grinned at you, unashamed and proud of himself. “We'll anchor off the coast of Tortuga in two days' time.” He informed you, combing his fingers through his messy curls.

“Tortuga?” You frowned up at him, surprised. “Why not Lockemirth?”

“I'm not going anywhere near Lockemirth until your dear papa has your ransom.” He replied, pulling his hair back with the leather string. “I'm not a stupid man, if I was to go near that island before hand, it would give him and the Crown amble opportunity to try and overtake my ship and crew. So, we'll wait in Tortuga.”

“Then, how will you know my father will have it?” You asked him, lifting a brow at him. “Tortuga and Lockemirth are eighty kilometers apart.”

Henry smirked at you, impressed. “A woman that knows her cartography.”

“I'm an educated woman, not the plague ridden whores you gallivant with.” You hissed at him, venomously.

“I have much finer tastes.” He replied, his stormy blue eyes scanning you for a long moment. “Anyhow, I have my ways of getting messages between the islands. So, you don't have to worry about that, pet.”

You glared daggers into him, wishing you had some means to wipe that smug look off his face. Henry stared back at you, he could see the thoughts flitting across your mind, you were either terrible at hiding how you were feeling or you weren't bothering to do so. Either way, he wasn't threatened by it or worried that you could pull it off or even attempt it to begin with, and he let that show on his own face.

“Enter!” He shouted, just as a knock came, causing you to jump at the sudden sound.

His cabin door opened and the same man from the night before entered with another silver tray with food upon it, he paid no attention to you as he bowed his head to Henry, set the tray down on his desk and left again.

“Are you starving this morning as well, pet?” Henry asked, picking up a few bits of food off of his plate and popped them into his mouth, making a big deal out of chewing and how good it tasted.

You watched him eat and felt your stomach rumble in your stays, you hadn't eaten since early afternoon the day before and were parched beyond belief. Henry lifted a silver goblet to his nose, swirling its contents and taking a whiff of it with a satisfied hum, before taking a deep swallow.

“Mmm, simply remarkable.” He said, after rolling the mouthful of wine in his mouth for a moment, before swallowing. “A 1681, Spanish Red.” He spoke, licking his lips. “I've always loved red wine, so it works out in the end.”

You gulped, feeling your hunger start to break down your willpower as you watched him enjoy the wine and food, purposely taking his time and making a show of it. With every bite of food and sip of wine your hunger and desperation grew, to the point you almost became unhinged. Henry set his goblet down and picked up yours, holding it out to you, a playful and teasing smirk and expression on his face, continuing to poke holes in your weak resolve.

“You know you want it, pet.” He hummed, lowering the deep timber of his voice, taunting you. “Wet those sweet lips of yours.” He purred, his tone teasing more than one meaning of his words. “Be a pity to let yourself go to waste.”

Gulping and licking your lips, the last of your will dissipating as you shot forward and snatched the goblet from his hand, making him laugh, as you hastily downed it, your mind not taking a moment to ask your taste buds how it tasted. Henry picked his own goblet back up, slowly sipping his wine, while you started to gorge yourself on the food. He plucked up the uncorked bottle of wine on the tray and refilled your goblet, the rich and deep red liquid splashing onto the stained oak wood of his desk as the ship bucked on the waves.

“Easy, pet.” Henry cooed at you. “Don't make yourself sick.”

You slowed down, looking up at him as you swallowed down the bit of food you had been devouring, the look in your hungry and exhausted eyes shifting, then you gulped down, audibly. A broader smirk crossed Henry's face and he rolled his eerily blue eyes at you.

“I ate the same food off the same plate, pet. It's not fouled up.” He laughed at you, increasingly amused at your silliness at thinking he, or the cook, had some how poisoned the food. He touched his fingers under your chin, smirking at you.

“For Lord's sake, you're no use to me dead or damaged.”

Another knock sounded at the door and it opened without Henry's permission, revealing Nullings. “Captain, Valentine and his shroud have been prepared, all we wait for is you.” He informed Henry, lifting a brow at the two of you.

“If you aren't busy.” He added, clearing his throat.

“I'm not.” Henry replied, dropping his hand from your chin. “Just making sure the Governor's daughter had her breakfast.” He chuckled, gently patting your cheek, then polished off his wine and set it down on his desk. “Come along, pet. All aboard are required to attend.” He told you, starting for the door.

“Attend what?” You asked, staying where you were.

“One of my men, Valentine Tash, was injured in the skirmish yesterday.” Henry replied, pulling on his jerkin. “He died, after having his arm nearly blown off.” He explained to you, settling the garment on his body.

“What's that matter to me?” You snapped, narrowing your eyes at him. “You were the monster that attacked my ship. It's your fault, he's dea--”

Henry bolted across the room, the back of his big hand connecting to your surprised cheek in a harsh smack; if it wasn't for his desk, you would have crumbled to the floor, instead you fell upon the desk, sending the tray of food crashing to the floor and spilling your goblet and the bottle of wine across it.

“Every man, and woman, on this ship knows the difficulties and dangers of being on these seas and in this occupation. Death is part of that expectation, no matter who they are. If they die, from whatever the cause, they have been cautioned and informed of it, and still they chose to come. That isn't on my head or on my heart.” He hissed at you, face twisted with rage.

“So, I suggest you watch your tongue, especially when you speak of things an insolent and ignorant girl does not understand.” He grabbed you by the elbow and yanked you up onto your feet. “Do you understand what I've said?”

You looked up at him, sniffling, eyes brimming with tears and your cheek welted with his knuckles. “Y-e-s.” You hiccupped and gulped thickly.

“Good.” Henry replied, tense. “Now, we're going out there and you will behave yourself, and if you try anything stupid, you won't leave this cabin again, until I have everything I want from your father in three days.” He warned you, shoving you in the direction of the door.

You tripped over the threadbare rug on the floor, but was thankfully caught by Nullings, before you fell. He gave you a soft and sympathetic smile, supporting you until you managed to right yourself, then kindly let you go. Henry moved in behind you, making you shiver as you followed Nullings out of the Captain's cabin. You blinked at the bright light of the morning as you stepped out onto the main deck of the ship, it seemed by the amount of people there as well, that the entire crew was out and waiting for the ceremony to send Valentine off to his watery grave.

It would be a lie, if you said you weren't interested in how pirates dealt with their dead. You had spent much of the voyage on the Kilmartin dreaming up scenarios about pirates and their ways of life on the high seas; but being kidnapped and held for ransom wasn't one of them though.

You saw a canvas wrapped body on a long wood platform that was balanced on the edge of the ship with two men holding onto it, so it wouldn't prematurely fall into the roiling sea below. The men gathered around their Captain, removing what hats they were wearing and bowed their heads. Henry stood tall beside you, his broad shoulders straight and tense as he surveyed his crew, his expression hard and unreadable.

“We gather here in honor of our mate, Valentine Tash.” He said, speaking loudly over the waves crashing against the hull. “He was a good man, a hard worker and a sound fighter. It is unfortunate that we have lost him, but he will forever be remembered.”

The crew let out three cheers in agreement and honor of their fallen comrade, before Henry gave a stiff nod of his head and the two men holding the body, lifted the platform and the shrouded body of Valentine Tash slid off of it and into the abyss below, never to be seen again. The crew lingered for another moment of quiet, before silently returning to their stations. You stood beside Henry as he continued to stare after the now vanished body, you saw, now that his men were gone or distracted by their duties, the look in his ordinarily hard and guarded eyes was one of a raw heart, one that had lost many men over the years and, even after telling you he felt none of it, was a man that had felt all of those deaths as if they were his own.

Henry caught you staring at him. “What?” He snapped, regaining command of his face.

“Nothing, just enjoying the sunshine.” You replied, blinking up at the blue and cloudless sky. “You?”

His eyes narrowed, then blinked at you, softening slightly. “Same.” He answered, his voice calmer. “It won't last though.” He added a second later, squinting into the sunlight.

“Why do you say that?” You replied, frowning and trying to see what he was talking about.

Henry dropped his eyes to you, amused. “I've spent my entire life either on or by the sea.” He replied, moving to the railing. “All that experience teaches you the language and nature of it. Even if it looks calm, sunny and beautiful, there's always something brewing just beyond the horizon.” He told you, leaning his forearms against the worn and sun faded railing.

“There's a storm coming.” He whispered, narrowing his eyes at a very thin strip of dark clouds. “But, we should be off Tortuga by the time it arrives.”

“Will we make landfall then?” You asked, gulping at the thought of being on the ship, any ship, with a storm going off.

“No.” He chuckled, shaking his head and looked over his shoulder at you. “We'll be as safe on the ship as we are on land.” He could see the fear and anxiety in your face and eyes. “Don't fret, pet. I've sailed this ship around hurricanes and she hasn't sunk yet.” He grinned at you, giving you an odd feeling of safety, but also a feeling of uneasiness.

“Then again, she can't.”

“All ships sink.” You frowned, shaking your head at him.

“Not this one, pet. Not this one.” Henry replied, still grinning as he looked his beloved ship over. “She's special.”

“Special how?” You answered, starting to worry for the pirate's mental soundness.

Henry pushed off the railing and caught your chin in his fingers, tipping your head back to look up at his amused face. “That's nothing for you to worry about, pet. There are some things beyond your innocent understanding in this world and beyond it.” He told you, his eyes darkening with an almost sinister delight.

You jerked up with a gasp as a crack of lightning struck the water, so close to the Crimson Jersey that Henry's cabin lit up like broad daylight. You gripped the blankets of Henry's bed as the ship tilted and swayed at nauseating degrees under the heavy winds, the torrential rain hammered every part of the ship, pattering against the glass of the stern windows like small pebbles. You gasped again as a hiss filled the cabin, but slightly relaxed again, a spark of light flared to life and illuminated Henry's face as he leaned over his desk to touch the flame to the blackened wick of his tallow candle.

“I didn't mean to wake you.” You spoke, barely audible above the storm.

“You didn't.” Henry replied, crossing the room with a small struggle.

“I'm impressed how well you and your men can walk across the room or deck, when the ship is bucking like a wild animal.”

“It's land that tends to be tricky for most sailors.” He chuckled, pouring a drink, unphased by the glasses moving across the table. “Your body gets so used to the sway of the ship, it doesn't know how to react when you're finally on unmoving land again.” He told you, picking the glasses up and crossed over to you, holding one of them out.

“It's like watching a newborn babe try to walk for the first time.” He laughed, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I'm supposing this is your first time at sea.” He said, sipping his drink.

“It is.” You nodded, staring into your own glass for a moment, before lifting it to your lips. “I would have rather stayed in London.”

“With your mother?”

Your eyes jerked over to him.

“You were the only woman on board the Kilmartin that my men and I encountered.” He clarified. “I doubt your father had you himself, so that leaves your mother still in London herself.”

“She is still in London.” You nodded, chewing on your bottom lip and trying to hold back the overwhelming wave of tears that wanted to overtake you.

You were so consumed by all the events of late, being forced to leave the only home you had ever known, to sail half a world away to a teeny island, where you knew no one other than your father. Then to be kidnapped by Pirates and held for a ransom, that you feared if your father didn't or wasn't able to pay would only end badly for you. It was all adding up on you, especially when you were still trying to deal and come to terms with your mother's passing.

“I doubt we could have brought her, even if we wanted too.” You mumbled into your glass.

“Did she not wish to join you both?” Henry asked, head slightly tilting as he noticed the cloud that crossed your face, even in the crepuscular light of the cabin.

“I'm sure she would have come with us, if she could have.” You looked up at him, eyes shining and red. “But, sailors already believe a woman on board is a bad omen, I shudder to think what they would have said about transporting the dug up coffin of one.”

Henry's mouth dropped open for a moment, before he regained his composure. “She's passed on then.”

You nodded your head, dropping your eyes back to your barely touched drink. “A year ago, this past month.” You whispered, ringing the tip of your finger around the rim of the glass. “She was sick for a very long time.” You sniffled and gulped, feeling your strength start to waver.

“I'm very sorry.” Henry whispered, softly. “It must still hurt you deeply.”

His words were the keys that opened the floodgates to everything you had pushed behind it. The walls of your throat closed and your eyes burned with the liquid fire of your tears, your breathing hitched, catching in your throat, and your shoulders trembled as tears washed over your cheeks, dripping into the glass still in your lap. Henry sighed, his face pinching in concern and sympathy as he watched you melt into sobs. Setting both glasses on the rocking floor, Henry reached out for you, resting his hands on your arms and gently pulled you into his arms and lap, tucking your head under his chin and rubbed your back, letting the sway of the ship rock the two of you. You clung to him and cried yourself out in his arms, drenching the shoulder of Henry's shirt, but he didn't care, he was a pirate after all and used to being wet.

He gently traced the outline of the whale bones sewn into your corset, beneath your dress, feeling the steadily growing weight of your body on top of his as you calmed down and fell half asleep. Biting and pressing his lips together, then sighing, Henry stood with you in his arms and leaned over the bed, gently laying you down and covered you up, before tugging his tear stained shirt off over his head, tossing it on his desk. He studied your sleeping form in his bed and sighed again, before taking the two neglected glasses back to their tray, then returned to the bed, sitting down on the edge and stared out the stern windows as the storm continued to rage around the ship.

“Look after us.” He muttered to himself, before getting into bed with you and pulled the curtains closed against the bright lightning flashes.

Henry stiffened as you whimpered in your sleep, at a rumble of thunder, before rolling into his side and relaxing again. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, but didn't move away from you, not that he could to start with, he was already laying on the very edge of the bed, so if he wanted to get away from you, he'd have to go back to where he'd been sleeping below the stern windows. So, he didn't move or push you away from him, knowing you would likely only find your way back up against his side, figuring if it gave you some measure of comfort, he might as well enjoy the warmth of your body pressed up against his, being the first woman of any standing to share a bed with him in many months, even since the last time he was on land.

“Land ho!”

The cry woke you from a sound sleep and for a moment you forgot what ship you were on, until you opened your eyes and saw Henry pulling on his discarded shirt and his boots, before unlocking his cabin door and stepped out onto the deck.

Glancing out the stern windows, you saw the mid morning sun was shining and there was even the cry of seagulls, as if the storm had never happened, and the first real sign there was actually land nearby. Excitement blossomed inside of you and you jumped to your feet, quickly going out of Henry's cabin, hot on his heels. Henry was standing on the starboard side of the ship, a spyglass held up to one of his eyes as he swept it over the glittering water.

You didn't need a spyglass to see the approaching stretch of land and felt your heart and spirits soar as high as the seagulls beginning to circle the masts. Tortuga. You heard several of the men aboard murmur across the deck as they gathered, grinning and clasping each other on the back and shoulders, excited at the prospect of touching down on land again, getting their hands on quality booze and ladies of the evening. You couldn't wait for the opportunity to sneak off the ship and find safety somewhere on the island, surely some kind soul would point you to the Mayor or Governor, a British Subject, who would then give you safe passage to your father in Lockemirth.

“Nullings, have Ellis anchor us close enough off the island that the men can row out and enjoy themselves.” Henry barked the order, snapping the spyglass shut.

“Aye, Captain!” Nullings shouted back and ran up to the helm to relay the message.

“Drop the long boats once we're anchored offshore, men!” He yelled to the gathered men on the deck.

“Aye, Cap'n!” His men roared back, throwing up their hands in cheer.

“You.” Henry called, turning towards you.

You started and looked at him as he strode over to you, catching your elbow and turning you back towards his cabin, marching you through the door.

“From this point, until your father gives me my ransom, you are not leaving this cabin.”

“Why!” You protested, planting your hands on your hips.

“Because, I know in that little head of yours, you're already plotting on how to get yourself to that island and I'm not losing my bargaining chip, and if my men have to spend their first time on land, in months, looking for you, they'll bitch about it until we get home.” He told you, sternly.

“Now, stay put and behave.”

“And if I don't?” You retorted, lifting your nose at him.

“I'll tie you to a fucking chair for the rest of your time here.” He replied with a growl, then slammed the cabin door shut, the sound of it locking following.

You let out a frustrated shriek and stomped your feet, before angrily pacing the cabin, mumbling under your breath about how much you hated him and his stupid pirate crew, hoping your father and the Crown sunk his unsinkable ship with him on it. You soon felt the ship slow and the scrapping of the anchor chain unwinding from its storage as they dropped anchor, no doubt close enough to the island for the crew to row the longboats out to shore and enjoy themselves.

“I hope they all get the bloody pox!” You shouted at the cabin door, picking up a glass from Henry's desk and launching it at the door.

“I want you to employ our usual method of message running for our ransoms.” Henry told Nullings as they stood on the deck, huddled together.

“Aye.” Nullings nodded, taking the heavy pouch of gold coins Henry held out to him. “The auction should be bustling, taking in all the ships currently in harbor.” He observed, glancing at how packed Tortuga harbor was. “I'll have Barnard and David take our messenger to Lockemirth Island. With any luck the Kilmartin survived the storm and is already anchored in their harbor. But, if they're late getting in, I'll have them wait.” He explained to Henry, running a hand over his smooth, suntanned and sweat drenched head.

“That leaves one other thing.” He sighed. “What if they wrecked in the storm? What do we do with the girl?”

Henry rolled his jaw, mulling over the possibility. “We'll deal with it, if it happens. Until then, act as if its still sailing.”

Nullings nodded. “Aye.”

With that, Nullings boarded the first long boat that had been lowered into the water and rested as the men manning the oars rowed them ashore. Once they landed, Nullings marched up the crowded beach, smiling as a few of the Crimson Jersey crew called out to him or made lewd gestures before vanishing into the streets to find the taverns and whore houses. As much as Nullings wanted to do the same, he was on official ship's business, so it would have to wait until later in the day, once his task was completed.

It only took a handful of minutes for Nullings to find the place he wanted to be, the Tortuga Slave Auction, melding into the crowd that pressed in on the auction block, voices from various positions in the crowd shouting out prices. He waited until he found one of interest and joined the chorus, not allowing the other buyers to push him out, until he finally won the bid and left the crowd to pay and collect them.

“You understand English?” He asked the teenaged boy, pulling him into a quiet and discreet corner.

“Yes.” The boy replied with a mild accent, and a nod of his head.

“Excellent.” Nullings smiled. “What's your name?”

“Hany.”

“Well, listen here, Hany. I'm the First Mate of the Crimson Jersey, and I have a task for you; a task that once you fulfill, you'll gain your freedom and a passage to any place you wish to go or a place on our crew, that will be left up to you.” He explained to him.

“Do you understand me?”

“Yes, I do.” Hany nodded again, blinking at Nullings, wide eyed.

Nullings removed a small, rolled up piece of parchment out of his pocket. “You will take this to the Governor of Lockemirth Island, two of my men will take you there, then wait for his reply and return here with it. You will find me at the Golden Mermaid, ask for Nullings.” He said, handing him the note.

“Any questions?”

“No, sir.” Hany shook his head, tucking the note into the pocket of his filthy and tattered pants.

“Great! Follow me.” Nullings nodded, then took the teen to the boat where Barnard and David were waiting for him.

With that done and nothing else to do, Nullings went to the Golden Mermaid tavern in central Tortuga and ordered a room, a pint and a woman to fill his time, while he waited for Hany, Barnard and David to return with Sir Thomas's reply.

Thomas was a mess after Henry had taken you for ransom, going from spurts of violent anger to deep depression and lamenting. Captain Davis tried his best to keep the new Governor's spirits up, but more often than not, failed at it.

“The vile things that damned pirate and his men could be doing to my beautiful and innocent daughter.” He raged, pacing the cabin in a highly agitated state. “I swear, if he harms a hair on her head, I'll hang the bastard thrice!”

“You must keep your composure, Thomas.” Davis replied, watching his friend pace from his seat behind his desk.

“Composure!” Thomas roared, stopping before the Captain's desk and slapped it with his palms. “I don't have to do any such a thing! You are not a father, you do not know the pressure and responsibility it is for one to care for their children, especially their defenseless daughters!”

Davis sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut. “You know my meaning, Tom.” He replied, exhausted. “We'll be in Lockemirth harbor in a couple hours time, then we can muster what we need to rescue her, in safety.”

“Yes, we will.” Thomas growled, starting to pace again. “I'll be damned if I give that abominable pirate a cent from anywhere! The only payment he will get will be to the hangman's noose.”

A few hours later, the HMS Kilmartin docked in Lockemirth harbor and Sir Thomas disembarked from the ship, meeting the welcoming party the gentry of the island had put together for him, and you had you been with him. But, Thomas was in no mood for a welcome party and good cheer under the circumstances. He demanded to be shown the base of his operations and have all the top officials of the island to be assembled there, at once.

Several people branched out from the large group that had congregated around him, to set about his orders, while the rest of them showed him the Governor's office.

“What is the meaning of this?” One of the officials demanded as he entered Sir Thomas's office.

“Yes.” Chimed another, entering behind the first.

“We have serious business to conduct.” Thomas snapped, glaring at the full room of officials.

“What business can be so urgent that you must conduct it the moment you've stepped on the island?”

“While we were sailing here, we were attacked and boarded by pirates.” Thomas replied, his temper mounting more and more.

“Pirates!” Several gasped.

“Yes, pirates!” He barked, impatiently. “They've not only stolen several valuables from the HMS Kilmartin, they've also kidnapped my daughter and are holding her for ransom.”

A murmur went through the collection of men in the room, agitating everyone.

“What is the pirate's demand for her back?” One of the men asked, lifting a brow at Sir Thomas.

“Three-fourths of the islands money and goods.”

“Absolutely not!” The man roared back. “You can't just show up here and give them almost all that we have, I don't care if the pirate has your mother!” He protested, several of the others agreeing.

“I have no intention of giving them anything, you fools.” Thomas hissed, banging a fist on his desk.

“Then, how do you propose we retrieve your daughter back?”

“That—what is it?” Thomas barked as the door to his office opened to his clerk, Samuel.

“There is a boy here to see you, Sir.” The clerk replied, sheepishly. “Says, he has a message for you.”

“Tell him to wait.”

“But, Sir, he says it's from a man on a ship called the Crimson Jersey.”

Thomas stiffened at his words. “Let him in.” He said, pushing off his desk.

The clerk pushed the door open and stood out of the way, omitting Hany into the office. He looked around at the full room and gulped, slowly removing the note Nullings had given him out of his pocket and held it up, looking into the face of everyone in the room, not sure which of them it was meant for.

“Governor?” He said, hesitantly.

“Yes, that's me.” Thomas replied, stepping from behind his desk. “Hand it here.”

Hany took a couple steps forward, meeting Thomas halfway and allowed him to take the note from his hand. “I wait for reply.” He informed your father, uncomfortable.

“Yes, yes.” Thomas nodded, breaking the wax seal and unrolled the stiff paper.

“To the Governor of Lockemirth Island. I send you this note to inform you that I and your daughter, who is in good health and condition, are quite nearby to your island of Lockemirth. I send this messenger and expect him, and your answer, back before first light tomorrow morning. If he, or your reply, do not return by that time, I will take that as a sign of your refusal to pay her ransom and your leaving her to my mercy. Captain Henry Cavill of the pirate ship, the Crimson Jersey.”

Thomas read the note aloud, his hands slowly starting to shake with the multitude of emotions he was struggling to keep at bay.

“What is your plan, Governor?” One of the men asked, watching him restlessly pace the room.

He paced the room for several more moments, trying to gather his thoughts and form some sort of plan to get you back from Henry. Stepping up to the globe that was beside his desk, he studied it for a long moment, before turning to his desk and took up a quill and a piece of parchment paper, scribbling down his reply to Henry's note, and sealed it, pressing the signet ring on his pinkie into the cooling wax to make it official.

“Take this back to him and tell him we'll be waiting for him at that location.” He told Hany, then dismissed him to return to Nullings with the reply.

“Sir?” A man impatiently growled.

“We'll be meeting the pirate on Hafstead island.” Thomas replied, meeting the group's eye. “There is only one likely place that the Pirate and his men would make harbor in, and that's Tortuga. It's the only Island close enough to us and is friendly to their kind.” He explained his logic.

“Putting Hafstead island between Tortuga and Lockemirth, a perfect neutral ground for our transaction.”

“You stated you wouldn't be giving them their ransom demands? How then, are you planning to get your daughter back from them?”

“Misdirection.” Thomas smiled at him.

“We'll fill two crates with the goods and the rest with something else that will weigh roughly the same as the real two. They'll demand to see proof that we have their demands, so when they do, we show them the first two. Once they've handed my daughter over and move to start loading the ransom onto their long boats, we'll have guards from here attack, and all will be well.”

“I'll have my daughter back and the island will lose none of its profits.”

“You're sure this will work?”

“Yes.” He nodded, confidently.

With what men who wanted to go ashore gone, Henry let some of the tension go out of his shoulders, before heading back into his cabin. He opened the door just as you were opening one of the windows at the back of the ship, crouching in it, poised to jump into the water blow.

“Don't you dare!” Henry barked between clenched teeth, pointing a finger at you in warning, his lip curling with anger.

You looked over your shoulder at him, heart racing in your chest and hands shaking as you gripped the open window frame. Both of your hearts paused for a frightful moment, and everything became slow-motion; Henry taking a slow step forward as you gradually let go of the window and tipped forward out of it. Reality caught up as you slipped out the window, free falling countless meters, just as Henry stuck his head out the open window to see you crash into the foamy waves.

“Fuck!” He shrieked, enraged and concerned.

Glancing behind him for a moment, Henry tore off his jerkin and boots, before swan diving out of the window and into the water after you. Making it into the water, Henry saw you slowly sinking and struggling to swim with the weight of your clothing bearing down on you. Bubbles rose towards him as you struggled to hold your breath and quickly losing the fight. Kicking his feet harder, Henry reached you and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you against his sturdy body, buoying both of you, before his fingers dug into the ties of your corset and dress, ripping them open and letting the heavy garment slip off your body and sink into the oblivion of the ocean below. Kicking his legs in unison with yours, Henry propelled you both to the surface of the choppy waves.

“You fucking brat!” Henry hissed, shaking his head, his long hair coming free from its tie, before sticking two fingers into his mouth and let out a shrill whistle, right beside your ear, uncaring if it hurt you as you coughed and sputtered for air.

A shrill whistle sounded back as he guided you around to the side of the ship, the remaining crew leaning over the railing, to see the two of you treading water.

“Man overboard!” A call went out, the men jumping to action.

“Captain overboard!” Another corrected back.

Several of the crew helped Henry haul you back onto the ship from a small ladder built into its starboard side. You stood on the deck in nothing but your shift, hugging your arms against your chest and shivering violently in the strong breeze. Henry finally set his soaking feet onto the deck, the men huddled around him for a moment, to make sure he was all right, but his blue eyes were burning holes into you.

“Go back to your duties!” He bellowed at his men, who paused for a moment, then scattered out of sight.

Henry snapped across to you, his hand raised and stopping a centimeter away from your cheek, you scrunched up your body, wincing and turning your head away, anticipating the slap. He shook, throat bobbing up and down as he struggled to control his white hot anger. His hand unclenched and squeezed around your jaw, in a bruising grip. He jerked your head forward to look up at him, making you whimper. Your frightened eyes looked into his furious blue gaze, like he was tearing you apart with his sight alone.

You shivered again and whined, cold and scared, the suspense of not knowing what Henry was going to do to you, for your open and continued disobedience.

His hand moved from your chin and grabbed you by the neck, making you yelp with alarm, terrified he was about to kill you. But he growled deep in his throat; dull nails digging into your skin. Henry jerked you sharply towards him, crushing you against his soaking body and crashing his lips to your cold ones, in an angry and sloppy kiss, his other hand coming up to tangle in the back of your wet hair. You struggled against him, squirming, beating and clawing at his chest, but Henry wasn't deterred, his continued to kiss you, for a long moment, before breaking it, then, with his hand still in your hair, Henry dragged you back into his cabin and shoved you onto his bed, uncaring that you would get the blankets and mattress wet.

Stomping across the cabin, he retrieved a coil of twine that was on a sideboard and crossed back to you. Yanking your arms up, Henry tightly weaved the rough twine around your wrists and tied it off, leaving a length of it hang from it, before cutting the excess with a small knife that was in his belt. Taking the lead of your bonds, Henry tied it to one of the bed posts.

“You're a fool.” You hissed at him as he picked up his boots and jerkin, closing the window as well.

“Am I?” He laughed, tossing his jerkin over the back of his chair.

“My father doesn't suffer Pirates.” You replied, jerking on your bonds. “He never has and he never will. You may think you'll get what you want. But, the moment he has me. He will kill you.” You told him with a deep conviction.

“He's been killing Pirates, better than you, before you were alive.”

Henry turned towards you, eyes wide with focus as he regarded you and digested your words, but before he could answer you, the door flew open and Nullings came flying in, skidding to a stop as he noticed you tied to the bed, then looked to Henry with a questioning look.

“What's the word?” Henry asked, ignoring his expression.

Clearing his throat, Nullings replied. “The Governor has replied to our ransom, he'll meet us at Hafstead island with our demands in exchange for the girl, tomorrow afternoon.”

Henry gripped the back of his chair, drumming his fingers against the carved dark wood, then glanced over at you, before pushing off his chair and hustled out of the cabin with Nullings, closing the door behind them.

“It's a set up.” Henry told him, keeping his voice low.

“What?” Nullings snapped, brow and forehead creasing. “Why do you say that?”

“Something she said.” He replied, carding a hand through his drying curls. “I want you to go back into town, find a girl her height and appearance..”

“I'm sure the man knows what his own flesh and blood looks like, Hank.” Nullings huffed, shaking his head. “Be real.”

“Listen to me.” Henry growled back, chest heaving. “Cover her head, so they don't see her face. That way, we find out just how truthful the dear old Governor is being. Take everything they bring for the ransom, only after everything loaded, will you give her to them.”

“And where will she be?”

“With me.” Henry replied. “I know Hafstead island, I know a good place to keep her. If anything goes wrong, I'll take her back aboard here, we'll all come back to the ship and head for our island.”

“You want to take her back to Shipwreck Island, if something goes awry?”

“That was the deal.” Henry barked at him. “His refusal to pay, would forfeit her to my mercy.”

“What do you bloody plan to do with her?” Nullings asked, exasperated.

“I'll figure something out.” He replied, unperturbed. “Do you understand the plan, Ben?”

Nullings tapped his foot, antsy, as he ran through the plan in his head, things were getting so much more complicated than he anticipated.

“Yeah, yeah!” He sighed, giving in. “I got it, Hank.”

“Great, get about it.” Henry smiled, patting his friend on the shoulder and going back into his cabin. “You and I, my sweet pet.” He grinned, tilting your head back to look up at him.

“Have a date tomorrow.”

[matth1w]

Tribulations

Pairing: Michael Langdon x Reader

Summary: Catching the eye of the interviewer, you face trials of temptation and faith.

Associated Verse: Blessed is the one who reads and those who hear the words of the prophecy, and heeds the things which are written in it; for the time is near. Revelation 1:3

Warnings: Death, Violence, Blood, Nightmares, Mental Manipulation, Blasphemy (Michael Langdon and all his fuckery)

Rating: All, but it’s a darkish fic

Word Count: 3,070 Words

Note: I very intentionally did not use his first name

Note 2: I’m not back... just finally finished & edited something for once 😅

Forever Tags: @captainrogerss // @banditthewriter // @fics-not-tragedies // @commander-writergirl // @zodiyack

Tag Lists Are Open / Requests are Closed

D O  N O T  R E P O S T  M Y  W O R K

The crackling embers calmed you and guided your heartbeat to slow to a steady tempo. The warmth that radiated from the fireplace threatened to bring a slew of memories from what felt like a past life.

You knew you should turn to face your interviewer, that you probably seemed rude ignoring him to instead stare longingly into the warming fire but something kept you there.

You felt... safe.

For the first time since the sirens sounded, you felt safe.

That thought brought you peace and you finally sighed in content and smiled as you turned to face the man who claimed to be your savior.

Mr. Langdon simply raised his eyebrows at you, not commenting on your actions of the past few minutes. The only other movement was his fingers slowly stroking the underside of his chin. They seemed to sparkle from the light catching the shining stones and golden metal.

He seemed more at ease as well, like he was able to experience the thoughts of peace and happiness that had been running in your mind. Or maybe the fire brought its own kind of warmth to him as well.

The sound of a log crumbling into ash turned your attention back to the fireplace. Your eyes only rested there for a moment but when you turned back the man in front of you had changed.

No longer a beautiful man leisurely sitting by the fire, Mr. Langdon instead had a furrowed brow with a matching grimace and leaned forward the moment your eyes met his once more.

You found yourself wondering what could have brought this sudden change. Before your thoughts could spiral any deeper into questions, you saw him open his mouth to speak. The low timber and plush lips brought an unwilling blush to your cheeks.

“How are you... enjoying things at the outpost?” Mr. Langdon’s pause and scrutinizing eyes made you nervous. Like he was a seasoned hunter laying a perfectly placed trap and he had no true care for your enjoyment, and instead was hoping you fell for the trick.

Despite the countless warning signs blaring in your mind, for some reason you wanted to tell him the truth. How much you hated Madam Venable for ruining an already depressing situation, how you wanted to scream every time a petty argument broke out over dinner, how many nights you laid awake wondering why you were facing this tribulation. Were you chosen or simply damned?

Oh, many times you wished you could escape this sadistic stone tomb.

Recalling his assurance, rather threat, that he would know if you dared to lie to him, you settled on the truth... just more simple.

“This isn’t how I imagined the apocalypse would go.”

A weighted statement full of multiple meanings but the truth nonetheless.

At that, you saw his lips flick up into a quick smile and his eyes glimmer in the low light dancing around the room.

“Is that so?” Mr. Langdon leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs and clasping his hands over his knee, the simple movement somehow seductive.

A flutter in your heart brought warmth to your body. Maybe it was the fact that you seemed to amuse Mr. Langdon, got him to smile in a way that didn’t seem malicious. Made him turn into the man you had seen just moments before.

You let yourself smile in return. For some reason, your tense body relaxed as if you were two friends casually conversing over a shared humorous experience.

Instead of laying out your reasons, something reckless inside your soul emboldened you to taunt him with a vague truth. Something about his pretentious demeanor intrigued you, especially after Gallant mimicked his line about being able to sense the darkest things about a person. You were desperate to see what he was hiding in the shadows of his own being.

“Yes.”

You looked him in the eyes, watching as he stared back blankly, his mask of aloof superiority now back. You knew it then to be a mask — you could feel his genuine self itching to be shown.

He was genuinely pleased to have someone make him feel something. For a moment, you wanted to continue your thoughts, share every thought and feeling and secret, but you wanted to see how far the game would go.

Your rational side knew it would likely end with you being left to rot in the outpost. It didn’t matter much. You accepted your death long ago and this entertainment finally brought some life back into your veins.

After nearly a minute of a scrutinizing glare, Michael removed his hands from his knee and laid them flat on the arms of the black leather chair.

Your attention was brought to the ringed fingers drumming lightly, as if he was pondering his next words. Something inside you didn’t quite believe him. As if it was an act for show. That he knew exactly was he was going to do next. He was simply... waiting.

Toying with you.

Seeing if you’d crack under the silence. Fill the lack of noise and if so, how you’d do it.

With an apology?

An insecure question?

A babbling attempt to say what you think he wants to hear?

Or something... else?

You thought forcing Michael to speak next would surely annoy him but instead when he opened his mouth, he seemed as if he was amused by your resolute rebellion. His teeth shined from the flickering fire, making him seem like a hungry beast.

The warmth seemed to increase from your side, like the flames were growing, intensifying, as you pressed on. You wondered if your words or his were the fuel.

“Venable told me you caused quite a ruckus when you got here.”

You grimaced, recalling your punishment of starved time in the cell below.

“Is that a question?”

His eyebrows raised at your snarky retort, his mouth a thin line. He must be getting impatient. You didn’t like this look of him.

“I’m sorry.” You murmured out with a well placed sigh.

“I just... didn’t, and don’t, agree with that rule.”

He hummed noncommittally.

“This outpost has a quite extensive library. So why bother yourself with stealing something as silly as fairytales?”

There was an challenge in his eyes as he continued speaking as he stood.

“Now, at least it wasn’t some cute version, I’ll give you that.”

His steps resounded as he moved to circle behind you. Daring you to follow him with your eyes or a turn of your head but you stayed still.

“How many days did Venable keep you in that cell?”

He placed his hands on the arms of your chair, leaning over to encircle you even further. His presence smothering you as the heat suffocated you even further. You couldn’t tell if it came from him or the fire.

“Hmm? Tell me, was it worth it?”

As his last words left his mouth in a whisper, he leaned in so his mouth was brushing against your hair.

Your breath hitched from his proximity, your skin raised in what felt like a strange mix of fear and anticipation. Your mouth felt dry as you forced yourself to swallow.

“Yes.”

The simple response and all its weight hung heavy in the air as only the sound continued to be the still lively fire to your right. You knew it to be no ordinary thing. Mr. Langdon made no movement, staying torturously close.

After what felt like an eternity, he took in a deep breath through his nose, seeming to breathe you in as much as he was refilling his lungs. You wondered if he even needed to breathe.

You could sense the satisfied smirk and feel the hot air as he leaned in to the shell of your ear.

“Good.”

You were unsure how to respond. Even more unsure if you should.

Mr. Langdon stood upright again, the soft brush of cool air hitting the back of your neck, relieving you as it sent shivers down your spine.

His left hand came into your view and you finally looked up at him, hesitant to instantly take it as much as you wanted to. There was still a part of you that was weary and unsure. Unwilling to not question.

Seeing a polite, disarming smile on his lips, you placed your hand in his, surprisingly warm and soft, and rose from your seat.

He turned your body towards him, the proximity once again sending mixed signals throughout your body. More so excitement now, but still laced with the ever present tendrils of trepidation.

He took his hand from yours but then moved to place it under your chin. Not cupping it in a romantic manner, but like how an adult would do to a pitifully naive child.

Your skin flushed where it met his, like he had the same power as the fireplace before. Something in the back of your mind noted how it had simmered once more. The flames calming as you accepted his extended hand.

Mr. Langdon cocked his head and let his eyes be overrun with clear pity. He even sealed what felt like the overly faux emotion with an empathetic sigh.

“Although life isn’t the fairytale you wished for, try to make the best of it, princess.”

You had to control every muscle in your face to not scrunch your nose at the words that stung like a patronizing slap despite the show of emotions that accompanied them.

Not trusting your tongue, you silently nodded. His fingers dug in for a moment like he was dissatisfied you maintained your composure and was about to lose his. He ripped his hand from your chin with a snarl and turned around to step behind his desk, his eyes roaming the wooden surface as he flexed his fingers, perhaps your touch had pained him.

He pulled out the thin black chair before he paused and looked back up at you, once more a different man than moments before. A Cheshire grin was clear on his face and that same glimmer of mischief back again.

“Oh, one last thing.”

“Yes, Mr. Langdon?” you forced out evenly, trying your best to control the whirlwind of emotions pounding on the door inside your chest to be let out.

“Remember, heed the warning of Snow White. Never trust witches or beautiful apples.”

His sing song voice sounded light like another taunt with his dismissive wave but the look in his eyes turned dark and intense as he lowered himself into his chair. Like he was spurring, no demanding you to remember his words, this moment.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The somber warning that felt like a thinly veiled threat haunted your bones. He made no other comments to you that day or any other, didn’t even bother to look at you when you two were in the same room or hall.

You thought he had forgotten about you. His amusement snuffed out and attention passed to the others... until the night before Halloween. Or simply, what you were told was Halloween.

You opened your bedroom door to find an unfamiliar book lying open on your pillow. Its golden edges shined in the candlelight as you cautiously stepped forward. A Bible - open to the first page of the Book of Revelation.

Blood red words stood out, written in the margins. You leaned over to get a better look, not daring to touch the holy object that felt tainted with darkness.

‘Was this how you imagined it?’

There was no name nor did you recognize the handwriting but you knew for certain this had come from Mr. Langdon. The smallest amount of heat tickled at the back of your neck.

You laid down, unsure how to react, still unwilling to touch or even close the book. Your skin prickling as though it could sense the heavy feeling of dread in the air.

Once you finally succumbed to an uneasy slumber, you dreamt of the bombs.

Sirens wailed from above as you trekked across an endless forest. Calling for help, voice hoarse as none came. The land turned barren with every step, an ashen land of death. Each moment, the sirens twisted more and more into tormented wails. A torrent of winds coming from each direction, bitter and sharp as knives against your skin.

With a pain in your chest that you could only describe as your heart being torn out piece by piece, you finally crumbled - broken and unable to continue. Weak and unwilling to fight any longer. You looked to the sky to beg for mercy when you saw an open door, its glowing insides the halls of the sanctuary promised to you. As you ran with energy anew, the sultry voice you heard was like a holy instrument carrying through the air.

Mr. Langdon came into vision, still blurred around the edges, you were unable to see him wholly. His forehead and golden locks bloodied from the thorns that encircled his head. One hand extended to you, another behind his back, his words coming to you clearly now as the thorns twisted into sharp horns.

Let me save you.

Let me save you.

Let me save you.

As you reached out your hand to his, the light faded from behind him, instead bringing forward his hidden hand that held a beating, bloody heart. Its steady tempo drowning out his plea as you felt a seeping emptiness consume your chest.

You woke with a start, body drenched in sweat as if you had been hugged by the sun itself. Your mind spun, consumed with a single thought - if the dream had progressed, would you hesitate to take his hand, despite what he had turned into before your eyes?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Your heart was beating so fast you barely heard a word Venable was sprouting, only snippets of sounds came through between the coursing blood that filled your ears.

Your mouth was practically watering at the sweet smell, the feel of the smooth skin in your hands, the taste you knew would be yours if you only took a bite of the shiny red treasure held within the palm of your hand.

But that voice in the back of your mind was screaming at you, back away into the shadows slowly and whatever you do, do NOT eat the forbidden fruit. It will bring no knowledge, only suffering and agony beyond compare.

Something even further hidden away is telling you to run. Run as fast and as far as you can from this evil place and never, ever look back.

You hear Mr. Langdon’s words over and over in your mind. So powerful, you can almost feel his breath tickling your ear once more, his enticing warmth overtaking your body.

‘Remember, heed the warning of Snow White...

Never trust witches or beautiful apples.’

In what felt like the final step of a test, you decided to pause before sinking your teeth into the apple alongside all the other residents and instead slowly backed into the shadows of the hallway toward the kitchen.

The silence hung in the air, and you were a moment away from turning around when you heard a cough, then another and another, the sounds of shared agonized death building in a crescendo confirmed your fears.

It confirmed that Mr. Langdon somehow knew. And if he knew... why didn’t he stop it?

A thought ran through your head, a darker one biting at its heels, so fast you were unsure it was your own.

Why didn’t I?

...Because they deserved it

You desperately shook your head to rid yourself of the thought and suddenly realized the truth with resolute finality. There was no where to go. No where to run. No one to run to. No matter where you fled, it would be a dead end. Even if you escaped this cave, you would only be thrust into another wasteland, wandering the purgatory above.

You found yourself in the kitchen, unaware your feet had even brought you there. In what seemed to be a final act of mercy, or perhaps penance, you spotted a large butcher knife hanging on the wall.

The metal held tightly in your hand felt like an extension of your body from your place in the corner of the darkened pantry. You had locked yourself in, backed yourself into a corner. But where was there to run - truly, to escape to?

A desperate prayer silently fell from your lips. Not for peace nor forgiveness. But for Mr. Langdon’s capsule of pain free salvation.

Nonetheless, you figure even a knife to the heart would be better than suffering the death forced upon the other residents. At the first sound or sign the killers have noticed your absence, you’ll take yourself out. Death was no longer fearful. It was the undeniable ending you had accepted many months ago.

The sounds of steady steps broke through your contemplation. Your hand stilled as you raised the blade above your chest. Your body was unable to move for some unknown reason even though everything inside you begged you to move already.

This was the end.

Accept it.

Instead, all you could focus on are the sounds of the footfalls. Light but purposeful. Steady and strong, unlike Venable’s wavering trio of steps.

Calm, almost casual. As if they were taking a stroll in a park or admiring paintings in a museum. Unlike the rushed, quick steps of an always determined Ms. Mead.

As your mind caught up with what your heart and instincts knew, a smooth voice broke the silence, its undeniable comfort charging your body with its light.

“You can come out now, Princess.”

You looked up, a mixture of wet and dried tears on your cheeks, and saw a magnificent sight.

There was your savior, a circle of candlelight cradled his golden locks and danced around like a halo on fire. Tears sprung from your eyes once more. Not out of fear, but out of pure awe and admiration.

The knife fell with a loud echoing clang in the now empty stone halls. You could only stare on as Mr. Langdon shifted to lower himself to you.

He brought his right hand from behind his back, and extended it to you.

Without hesitation, this time, you accepted it.

You accepted Him.

[fourmarkdove]

Fawn - Part 5

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |  Part 4 |  Part 5 | Part 6 | Masterlist

Title: Fawn - Part 5

Words: 2.1k

Summary: Plans to return to your ancestral home are halted by an accident that nearly costs your life. Angst. Hurt/comfort.

Pairing: Geralt x reader

Warnings: Suicidal ideation. If you’re triggered PLEASE skip ahead. Please check out the trigger warnings (tw:) in the tags!

A/N:��I appreciate you sticking with me this far. Comments welcome. Thanks for reading as always!

The crack of thunder shook you awake from a dead sleep atop Roach. You gasped, lifting your head from the bicep you’d been using as a pillow for hours and bolted upright. 

“You’re safe,” Geralt soothed in a tone so deep that you felt the sound rumble in his chest pressed against your back. He’d tucked you completely inside of his cloak with him while the rain patted rhythmically on the fabric all around you. Although it was completely dark, your cheeks were so warm and the scent of leather and him was so comforting. Closing your eyes again, you settled back and felt his thumb stroke your hip indicating that’s exactly what he wanted you to do. The gentle motion of the horse under you and how his hips rolled with yours… you wanted to think more about it but you nuzzled against his bicep and were gone again in seconds.

“What’s she doing?” Jaskier asked hours later when your head poked out of the cloak swallowing your frame. Everything was now covered in a thin layer of white as the rain turned to snow. 

Geralt cocked his head to the side, amused by your attempts to catch snowflakes on your tongue.

“So thirsty,” you choked.

“Now how is that possible?” Jaskier complained, receiving a sharp side eye from the Witcher. “I’m just saying… she’s already had yours and mine.” 

The Bard was right. But you’d also used up every last drop of fluid in your body to expel the inky poison just the day before. And the elevation change couldn’t help. 

Inhaling deeply, he caught the scent of a nearby stream and tugged on the reins toward that direction.

The moment that Roach paused, you pushed aside the black cloak. You became completely enraptured by the tinkling sound of ice forming and breaking along the banks, the gentle rush of the water flowing over well worn rocks, and the sparkle of what little light reflected across the surface. This mesmerizing scene caused you to all but launch yourself at the ground and race towards it. 

Geralt caught around your hips mid-leap and dragged you back over his thick thigh to his solid chest with a ‘thump’, nearly knocking the wind out of you.

“Let me go!” you squealed, your hands attempting to pry his solid forearm away from your ribs. 

He grunted, tugging off his cloak and wrapped it around you. He didn’t say so out loud, but he was troubled by how long you slept, how quiet. You’d been draped over his forearm all day and barely woke a couple of times in a daze mewling for water before dropping again. Admittedly, he shifted his weight in the saddle more than once just to check and see if you’d wake and we’re still breathing.

Stepping down, the Witcher led his horse to drink and then lifted you down to sit at the edge as well. 

It didn’t take but a moment for you to scramble onto your stomach and reach out to touch the water, bringing your fingertips back to taste. 

Jaskier filled his water jug and frowned. “Mm… Geralt I think your friend here is still unwell.”

Clearing his throat, Geralt refocused the gaping bard.

“So what’s the plan then? Pause a moment here? Then move on to the next town? I don’t feel much like sleeping out here tonight.”

The Witcher huffed and shook his head. “Give her a moment; then we’ll see..”

As the two men talked, they didn’t see you lean forward and stretch your neck out to drink like Roach. The cool water tasted so good going down your parched throat, you just couldn’t get enough.

With a yelp and a splash, the powdery snow gave way and you slipped right into the frigid water, dragged under with his heavy cloak gripping your neck.

“Fuck.” Geralt growled, knowing immediately what had happened even before he turned heel to run downstream. Racing ahead of you, he planted his feet in the water that didn’t reach quite over his knees and leaned way over to collect the writhing mass of arms, legs, and fabric tumbling underwater toward him.

You came up coughing and it took him a moment to figure out which end was up. “Let go of me!” you cried out, hot tears welling up, threatening to spill down your cold cheeks. 

“Hmm,” he grumped, stepping out of the cold water. Catching under your legs, he noticed the pleats of Jaskier’s borrowed pants were already beginning to freeze, stiffen, and stick to your skin. 

Standing you on a clear spot he made with his boot, his cloak dropped in a heap around your legs. You trembled uncontrollably, from the shock of nearly drowning, the frightening cold seizing your body, and terror of the scowling Witcher tearing clothes from your body for the third time in as many days.

“Jaskier. Build a fire.”

“What? Why? We are headed to the next town, remember?”

His eyes narrowed and he growled, tugging the hem of Jaskier’s borrowed tunic right up over your head. 

“She’s not going anywhere if she’s dead.”

“Alright, alright,” Jaskier sulked, turning away, beginning to collect firewood. He wasn’t too keen on staying out in the forest any longer - not when there was a warm bed and any number of supple breasts waiting for him in town. 

The Witcher looked deadly serious though, his jaw set and gold eyes alight with focus. Feeling through his bags, he retrieved one of his own black tunics.

“Take it,” he rumbled, pressing the worn fabric into your shaking hands clutching your elbows. Left shuddering, you were slow to move. Every muscle in your body ached and the cold had sucked any reserve of energy you’d gained during your long sleep.

The Witcher busied himself tearing apart firewood with his bare hands and tossing them in a pile, making Jasker’s meager armful look like kindling. He could hear your heartbeat slowing the moment he dragged you from the icy water. Even from a distance now, he could make out the faintest sound of your muscles seizing up.

With a hefty sigh, he returned to you and plucked his shirt from your frozen grasp. You’d made no progress peeling off the remainder of the icy fabric, now stiff and sticking to your tender skin.

“Come here,” he husked, bending down from behind you. The rumble of his voice so close to your neck made you gasp.

“I can do it.”

“If you could do it, you’d have done it by now.”

His large hands wrapped around your waist, pulling the fabric down your body. It was a relief to be released from the frozen solid garment and you exhaled deeply in appreciation.

Next he reached around to your belly and tugged at the frozen solid knot of your bottoms. The knot gave way in his fist and they dropped from your hips. Suddenly feeling very exposed to more than just the cold, you folded your arms across your chest like an embarrassed bride.

His black shirt dropped down over you like a sail, skimming below your knees. It was soft and surprisingly warm. As soon as your arms unfolded and slipped into the too long sleeves, he scooped you up under your knees. All you wanted to do was rest your head on his shoulder and curl up against his chest while he stroked you all over but then you remembered the violet-eyed Yennefer. And how he kept the wedding a secret. Embittered by the betrayal, you pulled away when he settled you onto the saddle blanket near the fire just flickering to life and went to repack his saddle bags.

You watched him silently, letting the warmth of the fire gradually thaw your limbs.

“I’m going hunting,” Geralt announced, returning to the flickering fire.

Sitting across from you, Jaskier rubbed his belly. “Not particularly hungry at the moment.”

You shook your head indicating you were fine too. 

He frowned sharply, disapproval furrowed his brow. Without saying a word, his attention snapped to his weapons and stalked into the woods alone.

“Did I say something wrong?” 

Jaskier’s gaze followed his friend until he was out of sight. “Wha… no. He’s just worried about you and it’s made him extra grumpy.”

By the time he returned with several large rabbits in hand, the Witcher’s cloak was tented over a low hanging branch and Jaskier sat near the fire plucking. 

Geralt nosed toward the tent before dropping heavily onto the log nearest the fire and set to work preparing the rabbits.

“She is resting,” Jaskier over-enunciated, still just shy of a whisper. “Are we done traveling for today because I sure would love the feel of a warm bed and soft thighs around my head.”

“Hmm,” he grunted. In truth, Geralt was only half listening, and more focused on turning an ear toward the makeshift tent. “When did you last look in on her?” 

His tone was threatening and it made the bard incredulous, putting his hands up. “A while I suppose? All I did was help put some stones down so it wouldn’t blow away when the wind picked up.”

Geralt huffed, nodding slightly. Still, he always heard your racing heartbeat; something felt wrong. Pinning his knife in the log where he sat, he lifted heavily and crunched through the dusting of snow accumulating around the campsite.

“Jaskier!” he bellowed, tearing down his cloak, revealing only his saddle and empty blankets.

“Listen, Geralt, I swear I didn’t know,” he pleaded, following the seething silent witcher. “How can I help? What should I do?”

“Jaskier - you’ve done enough. Go into town like you planned.”

The Wolf followed your boot prints in the muddy snow until there were no more feet to follow. Fortunately, he recognized your scent trail wafting along the underbrush. Stalking in stealth behind you, it didn’t take long to catch up.

Wielding his silver knife overhead, an otherworldly shriek escaped your lips as you dived onto the Drowner, slicing into its sickly flesh. 

He dashed forward into the fray as a second and third, escaping your notice, heaved themselves onto shore. 

Once the fallen creature lay hissing, you leapt atop its writhing body, pinning it to the ground between your knees, and gripped the stolen blade you’d concealed in your boot. 

Dispatching both deadly creatures quickly with his heavy sword, his hair spun like a riptide about his face as he looked for you in the near dark. 

A gasping shriek from the nightmare fodder pinned under his fawn gave way to slick, gouging sounds as you mangled the putrid flesh over and over until you were breathless.

Catching your hand, he pried the blood slick blade from your grasp. Ripping your slippery hand from his yielding grip, you leaned over your gaping kill and released a soul wrenched, hate-filled scream.

Geralt gripped under your arms and dragged you away from the water's edge. Collapsing back against an oak tree with you barely contained in his constantly readjusting grasp, he exploded in anger.

“What the fuck are you doing out here?! That fucking thing could have killed you. Stop - Stop struggling and answer me!”

Letting out a howl more feral than alliterative, you squirmed and elbowed his ribs as hard as you could. 

He easily overwhelmed your attempt to flee and flexed his arms around your body, dragging your back to the solid wall of his chest. Panting, nearly breathless yourself, he gripped you tight and stroked back the hair clinging to your sweaty brow; you relented more out of pure exhaustion than anything else, letting your head willfully dip back against his shoulder.

He frowned severely, glancing side eyed at you as you trembled with every breath and clung onto the forearm pressed across your breasts. 

“What. Happened,” he rumbled, dropping his voice to a more intimate tone.

Your head rolled slightly on his shoulder, licking your dry lips. “I don’t know.”

“Why do you have my knife? You’ve told me how nervous they make you.”

Releasing the grip of the mud underfoot, you began to rest your weight back against him. Feeling your clammy forehead against his cheek, he sighed. And waited.

“I was going to end it, Geralt. Right here by the water. I want to be swept away.”

Jaw clenched, he fought the immediate eruption of rage threatening to explode deep in his belly. 

“But those things appeared and ruined that moment in time when I was at peace with the idea. I got so angry because I was ready but they took it from me. Finally a decision all my own and it was taken.”

“Despair is an ugly look on you,” he seethed through clenched teeth.

Conceding to his blunt objectiveness, you wilted. “Unwanted daughter… Bride. Whore. What else do I have to hide my shame if not despair?”

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |  Part 4 |  Part 5 | Part 6 | Masterlist

[pixxiesdust]

Pieces of You • Kirishima Eijirou

Summary • Sometimes, you see a stranger so captivating that as they disappear from your sight, they take a little piece of you with them. Kirishima learns this all too well over one scorching summer. Little does he know, you learn the same.

Pairing • Kirishima Eijirou x Reader

Word Count • 8.0k

Tags and Warnings • Aged up (early 20s), class 1-A are all sidekicks and haven’t gone Pro yet, fluff, accidental meetings, strangers to lovers.

Note • I had the privilege of joining the summer sfw collab with the wonderful members of bnharem! Feel free to check out other talented writers and their summer-themed works here. There’s also a little reference in this to @justabstractthings​’ fic for the collab with Tetsutetsu! A huge thank you to @simplybakugou​ @sugacookiies​ @wakaoujisenhime​ @add-a-teaspoon-of-heroism​ and @justabstractthings​ for betaing and providing tons of constructive feedback. This fic wouldn’t be where it is now without them!

–

The first time you meet, it’s raining. You don’t notice Kirishima, but he notices you, and you easily take the first piece of his heart with you.

You quickly slip into the stream of people on the sidewalk, clutching your bag of signed documents to your chest. The sun beats down on your head, heating the humid air, and quickly causing your business clothes to stick uncomfortably against your skin. 

The heat is nothing new. Although it is the start of summer, the whole city of Esuha has been burdened by relentless days of a cloudless sky. 

But today, with the humidity making the air thick, and with the darkening clouds rolling across the sky, you know that the city will finally get a reprieve from the sun.

There’s a low rumble that lasts for multiple seconds. A little droplet splatters onto your arm, darkening the fabric of your shirt. Another hits the sidewalk. The air is heavy and still. Then the skies open, and water starts to fall down in sheets.

As the rain falls, quickly darkening concrete and asphalt, pedestrians pick up the pace. Some start sprinting for cover, not having the foresight to bring an umbrella. Those who are better prepared pull out umbrellas and don raincoats, energized by the cooling air.

And you? 

You stand there, eyes closed and face tilted up toward the sky, disregarding the people that rush around you like the flow of water in a river that is parted by a single stone. The rain falls hard, soaking into your clothes and your hair, droplets splashing onto your face. It’s cold and refreshing and washes away the seemingly endless days of heat. So you smile, lips curling up just the slightest bit as you stay under the downpour, taking in the constant pounding of raindrops hitting buildings, cars, streets.

There’s someone else that is motionless on the edge of the street. Another rock that divides the flow of water. Kirishima stands under the overhang of a skyscraper that lines the sidewalk, people rushing around him to enter the building for shelter. And though he should finish his patrol and return to Fat Gum Agency, he is captivated by the sight of you. 

You look so at peace, unlike the others that hurry to get out of the rain. You don’t mind that your hair is now heavy and soaked, that your clothes are clinging to your body.

Kirishima’s lips part as he watches the smile grow on your face, an expression so in the moment that he can’t help but feel a bit like a voyeur, watching creepily from afar. He holds out one hand, stretching it beyond the cover of the building, and huge droplets immediately splash onto his palm. 

It’s refreshing, yes, a bit of coolness after the long summer days, but he can’t tell why you’re so fascinated by it. 

Nonetheless, a smile grows on his own face as he continues watching you.

Someone bumps into you as they pass by, and you jolt with a start, eyes flashing open. Your eyelashes are weighted down with glittering spheres of rain, and droplets roll down your cheeks. You look down at yourself, taking in your soaked business clothes, and you know that you’ll have to get them dry cleaned or wash them yourself when you get home.

Then your eyes widen at the wet bag in your arms that contains the documents you had gotten signed just minutes ago by a Pro Hero ordering new gear for members of his agency. “The papers!” you cry out. Then you throw yourself into motion, hurrying down the street, no longer a rock breaking the flow, but now part of the stream of pedestrians.

Kirishima watches as you rush away until he no longer can pick you out from the others on the sidewalk. He, too, snaps to attention, realizing that he had been watching you for at least a couple of minutes. “My patrol!” He was supposed to be finishing up!

As he steps into the rain and heads back to Fat Gum Agency, he tilts his face toward the sky, looking at the skyscrapers that stretch up and at the rain that falls down. Warmth blazes in his chest, heating him from within even as cold raindrops hit his skin, and he smiles.

If there’s an extra bounce to Kirishima’s steps as the sidekick returns completely soaked to the agency, well, Fat Gum just grins and doesn’t mention it.

–

The second time you meet, it’s brief. But Kirishima makes a lasting impact on you, and a fragment of your heart is his forever.

You return to Esuha two weeks later with a briefcase of Hatsume’s finished products for Fat Gum, the Pro Hero that had signed those papers that thankfully hadn’t gotten too wet from the sudden rain. The sun is just as bright and hot as it was last time, although there is a bit of a breeze.

Keeping the briefcase in hand, you step through the agency’s doorway and make your way to the receptionist sitting behind a large desk. She looks up at you with a polite smile and asks, “How may I help you?”

“I have a meeting with Fat Gum at one o’clock about some gear that he requested.” You hold up the dark case. It’s nondescript and rather heavy, but it’s better to not advertise what you’re carrying, especially since it’s for Pro Heroes and sidekicks.

The receptionist nods and types something into her computer. A few moments later, she pulls open a drawer and takes out a lanyard with a guest pass dangling from the end of it. “Please take the elevator up to the top floor. He’ll be waiting for you there.”

“Thank you.” You accept the pass, slip it over your head, and head toward the elevators on the other side of the lobby. 

Pressing the button with an arrow on it that points up, you step to the side to wait, holding the case in front of you with both hands. A few moments later, the elevator chimes, the doors slide open, and a couple of people exit. You don’t pay them much attention, and you step into the elevator, hitting the button for the top floor.

But then you hear it: a loud, carefree laugh, deep and gravelly at the same time. Your head jerks away from studying the buttons, and you look out beyond the elevator doors. Immediately, you catch sight of a head of spiky, bright red hair, tilted back as laughter travels through the lobby, the person’s shoulders shaking with the force of his amusement. 

Kirishima laughs at a comment Amajiki makes, throwing his head back. The other sidekick ducks his head down into the cloak that drapes around his shoulders, and Kirishima grins fondly. His senior has certainly grown more confident in the years since he graduated from U.A, but some things didn’t change.

However, despite his amusement, Kirishima can’t help but turn his face just a little back toward the elevators. He thinks he saw someone familiar waiting by them when he walked out with Amajiki, and Kirishima's eye widens as he catches sight of you, now in the elevator, waiting for the doors to close. His smile turns softer as he thinks back to the first time he saw you—drenched with rain yet looking so at peace.

Amajiki says something, slightly muffled by his cloak, and Kirishima takes his attention off you and responds to the other sidekick. By the time he looks back again at the elevators, the doors have closed, and you are gone.

The sound of the laugh warms you and brings a smile to your face. You assume that he’s a sidekick at this agency, eying the hero gear that drapes over his body and frames his muscles. The stranger turns to talk to the person next to him, another sidekick in a white cape, and you get a glimpse of a sharp jawline and an observant red eye just as the elevator chimes and the doors slide close.

He’s handsome, you think to yourself, closing your eyes and replaying the sound of his laughter in your mind. A shiver runs up your spine, but then you quickly shake your head to clear him from your thoughts. You have a meeting to attend, and your mind certainly didn’t need to be occupied by a red-haired sidekick with a mesmerizing laugh.

–

The third time you meet, it’s awkward and silly. But it makes both of you smile, and both of you have a friend that starts to realize there’s someone who is capturing pieces of your hearts.

Hatsume sits across from you, nursing a hot cup of black coffee in her hands. You don’t understand how she can drink a hot beverage in the middle of summer, although you suppose the cold air conditioning in the coffee shop does help to make it manageable.

You take a sip of your own drink and set it to the side, pulling out a tablet from your bag. 

“It’s nice to get out of the workshop sometimes, isn’t it?” you ask as you power up the tablet and start logging in.

The inventor nods. “I just can’t bear to leave my babies alone for too long! Who knows what trouble they’d get into on their own.”

Your lips twitch, but you hide a smile. In the years you’ve worked with Hatsume as a legal business manager for Hatsume's Babies, and even when you both were studying at U.A, you’ve grown used to her references for her inventions. “I’m sure they’ll be fine, Mei. Did you remember to unplug the machines you were using?”

She purses her lips in thought, and your eyes widen with worry, but she snaps her fingers as she remembers. “Yep, sweetie, sure did! The lab should be explosion-free when we return. Although…” Hatsume trails off, thinking.

You laugh but return to pulling up the documents you wanted to show her on your tablet. “I’m sure the assistants back at the lab will be able to handle anything that may come up. Now here!” 

You turn your tablet so that both of you can see the screen and enlarge the document with your thumb and forefinger. “Since we finished our last client’s order, we’ve already had three others request to work with us. They aren’t all from Pros, but I do think you’ll find some of them interesting and challenging!” 

You slide the tablet across the table, so it sits in front of Hatsume, and she scrolls through to take a look at the various requests. “There’s no rush to accept them, especially since we’ve already reached our goal for the month, but–”

“Ooh!” Hatsume squeals, flipping the tablet around so you can see it. “This one just sparks the imagination.”

You take in the request sent in from a sidekick, eyes widening when you see the name. Then realization flashes, and you roll your eyes, but smile at Hatsume. “Very funny, Mei. Although if he heard you refer to his quirk as sparks, he’d blow up in your face—both figuratively and literally.”

She returns your smile, then scrolls down on the tablet to the next request. “I want to do this one, too. Actually, let’s take all three! They’re such exciting projects, I can’t wait to start working on them!”

You take the tablet back and mark down some notes to remind yourself to contact the clients and let them know that Hatsume had accepted their request. “Got it. Anyway, with the last order we completed, and these three that you’ll start working on, Hatsume’s Babies will continue to grow! Before long, we’re going to have the best support equipment in all of Japan.” You grin at her excitedly, spreading your arms wide to emphasize your statement.

Hatsume clasps her hands together in front of her, a dreamy sigh escaping her. “We’ll be known as the best support equipment company all over the world!”

Then both of you look at each other. Hatsume unclasps her hands, and you drop your arms, and both of you start laughing in amusement at your over the top and exaggerated actions.

“Only a couple years out of U.A, yet we’ve already come this far,” you say, before taking another sip of your drink.

“Mhm! And we have a lot further to go.” 

Hatsume stretches out a hand across the table, and you grasp it. Eyes flashing in determination, you cheer, “To the top!” 

“To the top!” Hatsume echoes, and shakes your hand energetically. 

You break apart and start laughing again.

In your excitement and laughter, neither of you notice the figure standing on the other side of the coffee shop window. Kirishima’s trying not to be so obvious in looking, but with the way you’re so caught up in whatever you’re discussing with Hatsume, he doesn’t think you’d notice him anyway.

Kirishima was on his way to meet up with Kaminari, intending to plan a trip to the beach with the rest of his friends from U.A. But as he walks down the busy street, eyes wandering from store to store, he stops short when he catches sight of you. His eyes widen in recognition when he takes in the person sitting across from you. How do you know Hatsume?

Kirishima definitely remembers Hatsume from his first year at U.A; she definitely was memorable at the sports festival. And even after that, he noticed the talent Hatsume had in designing support gear for heroes, and occasionally sought her out to get some upgrades on his costume.

Even now, he still gets parts of his hero outfit from Hatsume, although she’s come a lot farther than a workshop at U.A. She has a full business now, called Hatsume’s Babies, and Kirishima has already heard a lot of positive things from other heroes. That praise is well deserved. Just a few days ago, on that same day that Kirishima had spotted you in the elevator, Fat Gum handed him a newly designed head guard that Kirishima requested. He’s only had it for a few days, but it’s been holding up better than his old one, and it’s more comfortable too.

Though he wants to know how you are so familiar with Hatsume—perhaps you went to U.A. too, although Kirishima wishes that he had seen you before if that were the case—he’s more interested in the way your eyes seem to sparkle as you animatedly converse with Hatsume about whatever is on your tablet.

His lips curve up in a smile as you wave your hands around, mouth moving at a fast pace. Then your arms stretch wide, and a grin spreads across your face. Kirishima’s face feels hot. It’s as if you have some quirk that makes him captivated by whatever you do. He’s stupidly happy to see you so excited, although part of him wishes that he is the reason for your expression.

“Hey, move it, buddy.” Someone runs into Kirishima’s shoulder, and the sidekick stumbles forward a step, bringing him closer to the window of the coffee shop. 

Kirishima blinks and shakes his head. “Oh man, what am I doing?” he mutters to himself, running a hand down his face. “Staring isn’t manly.” He hopes he hadn’t been standing on the street, staring, for too long, and he definitely hopes that you and Hatsume didn’t notice. 

It’s time for him to go. Kaminari is waiting for him, after all. But as he starts to turn away from the sight of you laughing, you open your eyes and reach out to grab your drink–

–and your eyes lock onto his.

Your mouth falls open, and you seem to recognize him, although Kirishima never would have thought that you remember seeing him at Fat Gum Agency.

Kirishima freezes for a moment, unsure how to react. But then a fond smile spreads across your face—a bit warmer than the usual ones you’d give to complete strangers—and you wave your hand just a little. 

He’s pretty sure that his face is as red as his hair, but he gives a toothy grin and returns the wave. 

Then another pedestrian brushes past him on the sidewalk, and he realizes that he really has to go, even though you’re just right there, on the other side of the window. He juts his thumb out and points down the street, an apologetic expression settling on his face.

You just nod, smile growing wider, and wave again in goodbye.

Kirishima waves too. He forces himself to turn and walk away, and tells himself to not look back. 

He fails, of course, and looks over his shoulder after taking a couple steps down the sidewalk. You’re still looking at him, and when you catch him turning his head, your dreamy smile turns sheepish, and you wave again.

Kirishima grins, faces forward, and continues walking toward his meeting spot with Kaminari.

“You’re late!” Kaminari cries, when Kirishima finally arrives. Though Kaminari was planning on teasing his friend about being late even further, he immediately notices the soft smile on Kirishima’s face.

“What’s with that look?” Kaminari asks. He wiggles his eyebrows. “Is it because of someone special?”

Kaminari is only teasing, and certainly doesn’t expect Kirishima to flush red. Kaminari’s mouth falls open. “It is!” he cries.

“It’s not what you think!” Kirishima protests.

Kaminari slings an arm over his friend’s shoulder. “I think,” he drawls, “you need to tell me how this crush stole pieces of my best friend’s heart, or else I’m going to get jealous.”

As the two of them start walking toward Kaminari’s apartment, Kirishima tells of the three instances he saw you. And after lots of good-natured teasing from his friend, Kirishima sheepishly admits that he might just have a crush on you—a stranger, who somehow captured parts of his heart without even knowing it.

Back at the coffee shop, you’re under similar interrogation by Hatsume, who had easily noticed the exchange between you and Kirishima.

“Kirishima Eijirou?” His name rolls off your tongue, and you rather like the sound of it.

“Yep, that’s him! He’s one of Midoriya’s adorable classmates from U.A!” 

“Ah, so I was right.” At Hatsume’s questioning look, you explain further. “I saw him at Fat Gum Agency when I was delivering their order, and he was wearing his hero costume, so I assumed he was a sidekick at the agency!”

“Ooh, is he the reason you came back to the lab with a dreamy look on your face?”

You sputter. “No- I- What- Dreamy?” 

A wide smile spreads across Hatsume’s face. She clasps her hands together and leans halfway across the table. “Does someone have a little crush?” she asks in a sing-song voice. 

You roll your eyes and flick her forehead, trying to hide the small smile by ducking your head down. “And what if I do?” you ask back.

Hatsume pouts and rubs her forehead, then answers you. “That would be so cute! Almost as cute as my favorite babies. You’ve only seen him twice, yet it seems like he’s taken little pieces of your heart with him!”

“It’s not that dramatic!” you protest. But Hatsume gives you a knowing look, yellow eyes shining, and you sigh. “Okay, maybe you’re right. But it’s not like I’ll see him again.”

Hatsume vigorously shakes her head. “You’ve seen Kirishima twice in five days! With those odds, you should expect to see him pretty frequently over the summer!”

“But- but what if that’s just a statistical error? An outlier?”

“Do you really think that’s the case, sweetie? If you don’t accept that you might have more than just a little crush on him, then I’ll force you to sit through my calculations for the probability of you meeting him again in the next week!”

You gasp in mock horror. “Oh no, not the calculations!” Then you turn serious, although a bit of hope sparkles in your eyes. “I would like to see him again, though. Maybe I’ll be able to talk to him next time.”

Hatsume grins and pats you on the shoulder as she stands up. “Now that’s the spirit! Anyway, let’s get going. I have to get back to my poor babies—they’ve been without me for so long! And come to think of it, I may have left one of my more volatile babies plugged in.”

Your mouth falls open, and you quickly stand up. “Mei!” you cry, picking up your drink with one hand and holding onto your bag with the other. “You told me you didn’t!”

The inventor just laughs, links her arm with yours, and pulls you out of the coffee shop and into the hot summer air. 

–

The fourth time you meet, you finally talk to each other. He does something silly and cute, and so do you, so when you part ways, more shards of your hearts have been captured by each other.

Cold waves crash onto the beach, foam rising up on the sand. Seagulls fly overhead, letting out loud cries as they swoop down for morsels of food dropped by the hundreds of people that cover the beach. It seems like everyone has the same idea as you and Hatsume, who you managed to convince to get away from the city and take a well-deserved break.

Except, she’s not actually taking a break.

“You didn’t tell me to leave my babies at home!” Hatsume says as she tinkers with a metallic contraption in her hands. 

“I didn’t think you’d actually bring them to the beach!” You throw out one arm and gesture at the waves, the sand, and all the people. It’s your mistake to assume that Hatsume wouldn’t have brought her precious inventions along with her. “Won’t the heat and the sand ruin them?”

Hatsume looks up from her work, eyebrows furrowed. “My babies are built to withstand even the hottest temperatures! A little bit of sand won’t do them any harm. And do you seriously think I haven’t prepped these cuties before coming here?” She pats the side of the invention she’s working on and starts fiddling around with some wires on the inside.

You watch her work with a fond smile on your face. After a minute or two, you get to your feet and step out from the shade of your giant beach umbrella. “Mei,” you say. 

Hatsume doesn’t look up. 

“Mei!”

Her hands slow, which you know is a sign of her paying attention, so you continue speaking. “I’m going to get something for us, okay? It’s a bit of a walk, but I’ll be back soon. What do you want me to get?”

Hatsume finally looks up from her work. “Orange slushie?”

“An orange slushie? Sure!” As soon as you answer, she ducks her head back down and keeps fiddling with her invention again. “See you soon, Mei!”

You dig out your wallet from your bag, slip on a pair of sunglasses, and start walking across the beach toward the kiosks and small shops a little distance away.

The sand is hot and sifts through your toes whenever you take a step forward. Children race around on the beach, splashing each other in the water. Plenty of people sit under large beach umbrellas, but just as many lie out under the hot sun as they try to build up a tan. The sun shines bright and beats down on your skin, but the breeze from the ocean helps to keep you cool. You really could use some ice cream, though.

When you arrive at the kiosk, there’s already a long line of people ahead of you. You join the back of the line and wait. By the time you get to the front, sweat has beaded up on your forehead, neck, and other places you don’t even want to mention. 

You look at the teenager at the cash register, ready to take your order. “I’d like an orange slushie, and uh–” You do a double-take at the small sign someone had taped on the menu board with ice cream flavors on it. “There’s no ice cream today?”

The teenager pulls his lips in a pained smile. “Unfortunately, our ice cream machine broke and won’t be fixed for another day.”

“Ah, okay. Could I also have a...” You read over the menu board again. You just want something refreshing to cool you off, even if it isn’t ice cream. “A strawberry popsicle, please.”

“That’ll be 300 yen,” he says.

You pull out the right amount of money in coins and place it on the counter. The cashier slides it toward himself and counts them, before putting it into the register.

“One moment.”

You stand off to the side to wait for your order, and a couple minutes later, a slushie cup and a wrapped popsicle slide across the counter toward you. “Thank you!” you say as you pick up the items. 

Stopping at a nearby table, you unwrap your popsicle and throw the wrapper in the trash can. With Hatsume’s orange slushie in your left hand and your strawberry popsicle in your right, you continue on across the beach.

You slip the tip of the popsicle between your lips, sighing in relief as it cools your mouth. It actually doesn’t taste half bad, even though the food coloring dyes it an atrocious bright pink. 

You’re so focused on your popsicle that you barely notice anything that happens around you, until a familiar laugh draws your attention. Your head snaps up, the popsicle leaving your lips, and you scan the beach around you.

Bright red hair catches your eyes. It’s Kirishima, as you expected—as you hoped—and he’s sitting on a beach towel, surrounded by his friends, who all laugh as they watch him press something to the center of his forehead. He takes his finger away, and a small black dot is left behind. Your brows furrow. It’s in a tear shape, and after noticing the pile of watermelon rinds on a paper plate, you recognize it to be a watermelon seed.

His friends are still laughing at him as he stares in front of him in concentration. But as he looks ahead, you’re in his field of vision.

You freeze, your strawberry popsicle a short distance from your mouth. 

Kirishima freezes too. 

His friends notice, and they turn to see what has his attention, and all at once, five pairs of eyes are locked onto you.

The attention flusters you, especially since you know now that it’s Kirishima and his fellow hero friends—and you know that you’ve delivered gear to the agencies that they all work for.

Since your hands are full with Hatsume’s slushie and your popsicle, you can only manage a nod in greeting.

Then with nearly comedic timing, the watermelon seed on Kirishima’s forehead falls off and lands on his swim shorts. His face grows red, and he quickly picks up the seed and drops it in the pile of watermelon rinds.

“You’re supposed to make a wish before it falls off!” he calls out in explanation. Kirishima’s heart is pounding so loudly that he’s sure his friends can hear it, but his voice is surprisingly steady as he finally talks to you for the first time. “I learned it from a friend!”

An expression of fond amusement spreads across your face. “Hope your wish comes true!”

Out of nowhere—or maybe Kaminari’s fake suaveness has rubbed off on him—Kirishima winks at you and says, “It came true when I saw you!”

Your eyes grow wide, and your breathing quickens. He pulled that off so smoothly that it seemed like he’s practiced it before. But Kirishima blushes again, and his smile turns into a look of embarrassment, so you know that it was completely unrehearsed. 

A cold and sticky droplet lands on your hand, and you look down as another drop of pink hits your skin. Your popsicle is melting under the heat of the sun, and you’re pretty sure Hatsume’s slushie is turning into orange-flavored water. You wrinkle your nose at the pink drops. Your tongue flickers out to lick them off your skin, and you lick the popsicle too, from bottom to top, to keep it from dripping even more.

Then, with your mouth around the cold treat, you come to your senses and realize that you’re still standing before Kirishima and his friends. 

You pull the popsicle away and let out an awkward laugh, looking down at the sand between you and Kirishima. “Sorry about that,” you say, “but my popsicle is melting on me. I- um- I should get going! Hatsume’s still waiting for her slushie!”

Without waiting for a response, you start walking away.

But Kirishima cups his hands around his mouth and shouts after you, making you stop in your tracks. “Before you go, do I get to know your name?”

You turn slightly. “Make a wish to see me again! I’ll tell you next time!” Then you continue on, hurrying across the sand and leaving Kirishima and his friends behind.

Kirishima watches you retreat, until your figure disappears into the crowds of people on the beach. 

His friends snicker at his soft expression, and Kaminari slaps a hand against Kirishima’s back. “Better get another watermelon seed! Let’s see if Tetsutetsu’s method will help you see the love of your life again.”

Kirishima doesn’t respond, still caught up in thinking about how adorable you looked in your casual beach clothes. And your embarrassment at getting so caught up in eating your popsicle was cute as well. Then his mind wanders to the image of your lips wrapped around the pink popsicle, slightly swollen from the cold. Was it unmanly that it made him want to kiss you?

Seeing Kirishima lost in his thoughts, Mina flips her sunglasses up, so they rest on her curly pink hair and leans toward Kaminari. “So that’s the crush you were talking about? You told us that she made Kiri act all dopey when he met up with you to plan this beach trip!”

Kaminari nods in confirmation. “You should’ve seen the look on his face. He might call it a small crush, but there’s no way that’s the case.”

Bakugou grunts and finally joins the conversation. “Can’t believe your crush works for that crazy inventor chick.”

This catches Kirishima’s attention. “Hatsume?”

Bakugou waves his hand in the air dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, if that’s who the inventor chick is. Your crush sometimes brings the finished items to the agency.”

“Oh!” Kirishima says, eyes widening with realization. “So that’s why I saw her at Fat Gum’s, and why she was at the coffee shop with Hatsume.” 

“Anyway,” Sero interrupts, holding a watermelon seed between his fingers. “Show us how to make a wish again.” He grins and passes the seed on to Kirishima, who accepts it.

“Okay, okay! I’ll do this until I see her again!” He cheers and pumps a fist up in the air.

“To Kirishima seeing his crush!” Mina shouts, raising a fist too.

“To Kirishima’s crush!” Kaminari and Sero laugh and punch the air.

They all look to the one person that hasn’t joined them.

“What?” Bakugou snaps. “Shitty Hair can see her again without making one of those stupid wishes. You know who she is now, and you can meet her again.”

Kirishima’s eyes widen. “You’re right, Bakubro!”

“Of course I’m right.”

Kirishima gets to his feet and brushes sand off his shorts. “It’s really hot right now,” he says as his friends watch him slip his wallet into a pocket. “I’ll go see if there’s something cold at the kiosk. Anyone want to come?”

His friends look at each other and shake their heads, turning down his offer. Kirishima shrugs and leaves, giving them a quick wave. 

As soon as Kirishima has walked far enough that he won’t be able to hear them, Bakugou points at Mina, Sero, and Kaminari, catching their attention. “Hey. Don’t go off and do something dumb. But I know where that crush of his will be in three weeks.”

Everyone’s eyes widen, and Mina squeals, clapping her hands together in excitement. You’re Kirishima’s crush, but now they’re all rather invested after meeting you in person. So they lean in eagerly, and Bakugou starts talking. 

–

The fifth time you meet, he finally gets your name. The night ends all too soon, and you have to part ways, but you both ache to meet again.

The venue is crowded with sidekicks, Pros, employees from support companies, and many other types of people who are important and can bring success to one’s career. Although the networking event is mainly for the sidekicks to make connections with already well-known agencies and companies, you and Hatsume were invited to spread the word about Hatsume’s Babies and get some new clients.

So you work your way around the large room, summoning up the energy to hand out business cards from your handheld purse, and talk to as many people as you can, as Hatsume does the same elsewhere. 

As you finish up a conversation with a new sidekick that recently graduated from U.A, someone with a head of green hair approaches you. He’s smiling, and a genuine smile spreads across your face.

“Izuku! Who picked out your outfit?” 

“I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight, but I’m glad I ran into you! Is it that obvious that I didn’t choose this?” He gestures to himself, and you take in the black suit with a forest green tie that matches his hair and eyes. Since you’ve gotten to know him through Hatsume, you’ve learned that he doesn’t always have the best sense of fashion. “Ochako helped me pick it out,” he says sheepishly.

“Well, it looks good! How is she doing, by the way?”

Midoriya offers his arm out to you. You take it, and let him guide you wherever he wants to take you. “She’s here today, actually, and so is Shouto and Tenya. I can take you to them.”

You nod and smile. “That would be nice! I haven’t seen Shouto since I last delivered his gear to him, and it’s been ages since I talked to Ochako and Tenya in person.”

Midoriya brings you to his group of friends, who all greet you with smiles. You converse with them for a while, catching up on the latest events that happened in their lives. The conversation flows easily with the familiarity of friends, and it doesn’t drain you to talk to them. Your chest is warm, happy to be surrounded by wonderful friends that care so much.

Then a girl with short pink hair appears, wrapping an arm around Uraraka’s shoulder. She looks familiar to you for some reason.

Your eyes widen as it clicks. 

“Oh! You’re–”

“I’m Ashido Mina, nice to meet you!” She shakes your hand energetically before moving across the circle of friends to stand next to you. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Kirishima,” she says with a mischievous smile.

“Oh gosh, I hope he doesn’t think I’m creepy or strange or something.”

Mina laughs. “It’s quite the opposite, actually!”

At your hopeful and questioning look, she only winks and says, “That’s not my secret to tell. But you should know that he constantly has a dreamy look on his face, and he’s wanted to see you again ever since the beach.”

“Is he here?” Your voice is bright, and you completely perk up before your friends’ eyes.

Mina nods, an excited smile on her face. “Want me to take you to him?”

You look to your friends, who all wear some sort of amused expression as they look on, and you give them a small wave. “Please excuse me then. I have a stranger to get acquainted with!”

Your steps are bouncy from nerves and excitement as you follow Mina through the crowded room. 

Mina suddenly stops and turns around to face you. “They’re on the other side of this group of Pro Heroes,” she says, taking one of your hands in hers. “I just want you to know that Kirishima’s a sweetheart, and I really hope you’re not just here to play with his feelings.”

You know that she’s serious and that she genuinely cares about her friend. You nod solemnly. “We’re only strangers, but I- well, he already means quite a bit to me. I’m here to meet him and get to know him more, and if he wants to continue things further, I would gladly do that. I’m not interested in games, and would never play with feelings.”

“Good.” Mina smiles again, and the mood feels a lot lighter as she starts guiding you around the group of conversing Pro Heroes. “I didn’t think you were the type, but one can never be too careful.”

You return the smile. “It’s great that he has such a wonderful friend like you.”

“Aw, you’re so sweet! I can tell why he likes you.” 

Your eyes widen, and Mina giggles, covering her mouth with one hand. “Oops! Was I not supposed to tell you that? Well, anyway, here we are!”

She hooks her arm with yours and pulls you to a group of well-dressed people that you recognize from the beach. Your eyes immediately lock onto Kirishima, whose back is toward you, but you know it is him because of his spiky red hair. You stop moving. His black suit fits him well, hugging his broad shoulders and large biceps. It’s pulled in at the waist, emphasizing his athletic figure.

Mina lets out a soft laugh, and you realize that you’re staring. You look at her, embarrassed. “Don’t tell him, please.”

She only winks at you, which is not reassuring, before pulling you along to the group. Mina clears her throat, catching their attention. “Gentlemen, I brought a guest!”

Everyone except Kirishima immediately grins when they see you, and one of the blondes wiggles his eyebrows and elbows Kirishima to turn around.

Your breath catches in your lungs as he finally faces you. You don’t notice as his eyes widen and his lips part in shock. Instead, you’re focused on taking him in from the front—finally, you can just stop and stare.

He’s wearing a red shirt under his black suit that clings to his muscles and makes his red eyes pop. A black tie is knotted at the base of his throat, but it’s a little rumpled, and he’s clearly pulled on it multiple times throughout the night.

Kirishima is speechless as he drinks in the sight of you in formal attire. He never expected to see you at this event, although he probably should have anticipated that you would be invited. “Wow,” he breathes, eyes scanning you from head to toe and back up again.

Sero and Kaminari snicker from behind him, but even that doesn’t stop Kirishima from staring. 

After another silent moment, Mina decides to take the lead. “This is Bakugou, Kaminari, Sero, and I hear that you’re already familiar with Kirishima. Everyone, this is–”

You pull your thoughts together and step forward, offering a hand out to Kirishima to shake. He takes it, even though he’s still rather stunned, and you tug on his hand. He’s not expecting it, so he stumbles a few steps until his chest is pressed to yours. A smile flickers at the corner of your lips, and you lean in so your mouth is by his ear.

And then you whisper your name.

Somehow your voice comes out with no hint of the butterflies in your stomach, and it definitely makes Kirishima more than a little flustered. When you pull away, his cheeks are dusted in pink, and his eyes are wide and glazed over.

“I- I’m Kirishima Eijirou,” he says. His eyes widen. “And Mina just told you that, so–”

“It’s okay, Kirishima.” You smile at him, warmth and amusement dancing in your eyes. “I’m sure you’re just surprised that your watermelon seed made your wish come true.” 

His name rolls off your tongue smoothly, and he likes the way it sounds with your voice. It takes him a few seconds before he pulls himself together and gets out a response, this time with a bit more confidence, his voice low and a little rough. “I would’ve made a thousand wishes if that’s what it took for me to see you again.”

Now it’s your turn to be flustered, and you duck your head down. 

Kirishima, confidence growing by the second, gently tilts your chin with a calloused hand to look into his crimson eyes. “Since I can finally put a name to the face, would it be manly for me to ask if I could see you again?”

You smile at him, raising a hand to grasp onto the one he has under your chin, gently stroking your thumb across the back of his hand. “I’d love that.”

Bakugou coughs, making both of you jump. He sticks his hands into his pocket and scowls at you both. “I’m not gonna stand around and watch this lovefest you’re putting on.”

“If you don’t like it, no one’s stopping you from leaving,” you immediately shoot back. Then your eyes widen in horror as you realize that you just snapped back at one of Kirishima’s friends.

But Kaminari, Sero, and Mina grin widely, and Mina wraps her arms around you in a side hug, making you move away from Kirishima. “That was great!” she squeals.

You look at her out of the corner of your eyes. “T-that was?”

Bakugou steps in front of you, looks you up and down, and then nods. “You’re not afraid to stand your ground. You’ll be fine.”

Kirishima grins at you. “Looks like Bakubro approves!” His smile is wide, and his eyes are bright, and you can’t stay upset.

“I do have to go, though. I’m supposed to keep networking for Hatsume’s Babies, and as much as I enjoy everyone’s company, I can’t stay in one place for too long.” 

You don’t like the way Kirishima’s face falls, but then he pastes on another smile that’s less bright and more forced. You frown, then look through the clutch you’ve been carrying around all night, taking out one of the business cards you’ve been passing out all night, and grabbing a small pen as well. You flip the card over to the back and write down your cell phone number, then tuck the pen back into your clutch.

You reach out and take his hand, turning it over to his palm faces up. Placing the business card on his palm, you curl his fingers over it, and pat his hand with a soft smile. “Text me, okay? Then we’ll be able to plan to meet up instead of you having to wish for it.”

Kirishima’s smile brightens, and he withdraws his hand, tucking the card into his suit’s small pocket right above his heart. “I’ll text you soon!” he says.

You step back and nod. “I’ll hold you to that!” Then you look at his friends, who have been eavesdropping rather obviously, and you smile. “It was really nice to meet you. I hope to see you again in the future.”

Mina laughs and waves. “Don’t be a stranger!”

Kaminari and Sero nod and wave too, saying some variation of “See you soon!” 

Bakugou just nods, but his red eyes aren’t narrowed in a glare, so you’ll take that as a win.

You wave to them and take one last look at the redhead, whose eyes are soft as they watch you interact with his friends. “Bye, Kirishima.” 

You turn from then and walk away, quickly disappearing into the crowd.

Kirishima and his friends are quiet for a long moment, then Sero shakes his head and mutters, “Dang. Kirishima, you’re one lucky guy.”

Kirishima looks at his friends, who all give some form of agreement to Sero’s statement. He laughs and rubs at the back of his neck. “Yeah,” he says, “Yeah, I am.”

–

The sixth time you meet, it’s as if you’ve known each other for a long time. You’ve spent hours texting and have gone to bed late because you were so engaged in a conversation over the phone. So when you finally arrange a time to meet at a cute bakery in Esuha—just as friends, you both decide, to get to know each other more—you’re not as nervous as you are excited.

When it’s time to go, you do so with a bit of sadness in your heart. You feel a bit more empty, and Kirishima does too, but both of you have gained another piece of each other’s heart.

–

The ninth time you meet, it’s your first official date. Butterflies turn somersaults in your stomach, but they calm when you finally see Kirishima. The two of you take the train to a town by the coast, and though the train ride takes an hour, there’s not an awkward moment between you both. By the time you arrive, the sun casts everything in a golden hue, and your excitement grows as Kirishima leads you to a grassy cliffside that looks out at the endless expanse of the sea.

He sets down his picnic basket and spreads out a blanket, holding out a hand to help you sit with an excited grin on his face. You enjoy a dinner under the setting sun that paints the sky in pinks, oranges, and golds, and dessert under the silver stars that glimmer from the midnight blue sky.

Your heart is full when you return home, and you each settle down on your beds with a content smile. Though your bed feels just a bit empty, thoughts of him keep you company until you drift off to sleep.

–

The twenty-seventh time you meet, it’s Christmas Eve. Kirishima’s classmates from U.A. have rented out a couple rooms at a karaoke place, and Kirishima invites you as his plus one. He waits for you at your front door, and a huge grin lights up his face when he sees you. 

When you walk into the karaoke room, hand in hand, Kirishima’s classmates cheer and hoot and point at something above you. A sprig of mistletoe hangs from the doorframe, green with white berries, and everyone chants for you to kiss. 

Kirishima protests, saying that you don’t have to kiss in front of everyone if you don’t want to, but you turn to him, grab fistfuls of his jacket, and pull him toward you so your lips meet.

Everyone cheers and whistles, but you don’t hear them. You only focus on Kirishima’s mouth brushing over yours, on his lips that soften as he deepens the kiss. Breathless, you reluctantly pull away, and smile at the blush that dusts his cheeks. 

He drops you off at your home way past midnight, and both of you stand in front of your door for many minutes, laughing and kissing and basking in each other’s presence. When Kirishima finally pulls away from you and walks away to return to his apartment, you touch your swollen lips and smile softly.

You realize that he’s taken more pieces of your heart with him, and you’d gladly let him have the whole thing.

–

The two hundred and forty-second time you meet, it’s been three years since he first saw you in the rain, and Kirishima drops to one knee. At this moment, you realize that you’re in possession of his whole heart, and he is in possession of yours. It started from a few small slivers, but now, he has all the pieces of you in his gentle hands. 

You smile at him through the tears that well up in your eyes.

You say yes.