#lobie talks

[lobie-the-cartoonist]

i think ppl should start shipping Dot the Design Gal and Jet Pack Guy for the sole purpose of calling it ".jpg"

[lobie5]

confession: this entire time i thought beat from jet set radio was a butch woman

[coulroworld]

being a clown looks really really fun, but i'm very autistic and scared of children and balloons </3

i'm bout to, like, go on an anime protagonist journey to overcome my shortcomings and become the Honkage

[coulroworld]

hello!! 👋🤡

going through my art to pick one made me realize i don't have a lot of finished art of my characters. 💀 nonetheless, here's one from about a year ago:

my commissions haven't been open for a quite long time, but for something as polished as this, i'd probably put it around $95-$120.

happy collecting!

Calling All Clown Artists!

Hello, hello! Are you an artist that loves to draw clowns? Please read on!

I want to start putting together a masterlist of artists for clown collectors to find easily. If you want to be added to this list, please do this;

Reblog with an image of your clown art you're proud of

Include how much you would charge if it was a commission

Feel free to include a hyperlink to your commission sheet if you have one!

Everyone that shows they can and will do clown art and clown ocs will be included 💖🤡 I don't do commissions myself but I used to buy and collect other people's art and I'd love to get started on that again. I'm sure a lot of clown keepers agree, so let's see your art.

Thank you as always clown enthusiasts, I very much look forward to putting this together!

[notafunkiller]

For someone who spoke so fondly about an ex when they are supposedly ‘dating’ is 🫣 let’s just say that Seb and AW are dating, you would be a bit worried with what he said the interview even said he looked hard in thought, he then said it was a simpler time then that’s also weird.. did he mean that now it’s a harder time to be in love as in it’s not easy anymore? and then said that’s the first time he was in love nothing about his supposed current ‘love’ no story’s no antidotes nope nothing everyone else but her? Strange! I get everyone has an ex one you think about a bit but not when you are suppose to be in a loving relationship and not to say it so publicly. And not to be so deep in thought about it in an interview. The Deux was revenge definitely why now? Why wait for this time to say anything, you wouldn’t unless you want to make a statement, not unless you want control a narrative could it be used for future reference to reason why this ‘relationship’ ends. We know Seb has friends who follow deux so we know this will get back to Seb so he will know about it hell they probably listened to the podcast/ i think in my eyes sebastian act single. Its the mentality of a person, when you single you live for yourself and dont watch out for other person and you dont need to think about other peoples feelings and all. And thats how seb act, if he thought about aw feelings and how she might be seen he wouldnt talk so much about his ex, plastic surgeries, addiction to sm and all, he would think that his gf do all of that and people might see and compare her to it what happened yet he didnt care. Because even if aw is around seb in his head is not in rs, he think about himself as single and thats how he act, not commited at all. Aw is the one who reach for him every time, he is just there, she is the one who mention bf, post him and all, and he had a chance to say something about her but never did, he never defend her from anything, hell he couldnt even open the door for her, push her in at last party and drag her threw hotel loby in cannes so fast she need to fast walk to keep up. Its really sad and i would feel so dissrespected if i was aw i would cry. But i guess she whant that because she whant the attention, but the irony is the longer she stay the less she get, people are droping like flys, no likes, no press attention, no articles, no new fallowers, and even her new movies are not talk about or gave negative comments.

And also to the other anon who say about private couple. I totally agree, there is difference in privare and pr. If someone is private they dont bait all the time, dont call pap, dont scrool threw ig just to find and like the commemts that mention your bf, provate is staying silent going to events together as a couple and maybe talking about each other in interviews. What they do is oposite of private, the fact seb dont allow her next to him on most of his work events is telling, he couldnt even pose with her in cannes and he had time for that. Plus the articles, they are so pr it hurts, all of them use the same terms: private couple, loved up, in love, going strong, all of this and aw and seb still dont act like couple, they even sometimes use a pic of them looking unhappy as hell and call it love or try to bend the reality like when they say they walk the canes read carpet together, that they make the apperence yet only if you saw the vid you know that never happened. Everything is stage and bought but still suprose me why they keep this up.

And now aw get less and less attention, sebs movie flop in box office, adm also dont do that well, the deux add too, plus seb is going around making all this big statement yet still is around aw who is oposite of whar he whant, it dont paint good picture of him now, its like he dont practice what he preach. I just whant to know how long and where this will go

!!

[redhatmeg]

The final reconciliation between Sanji and Luffy has some parallels to Robin's declaration of will to live, but there are few obvious differences.

The main similarity between Robin in Ennies Loby and Sanji in Whole Cake, is that they are both in desperate situation which they don't see any way out to. They both also were ready to just sacrifice themselves to terrible fate, believing that it's the only way to save their crew (and in case of Sanji - also Baratie), only to learn in last second that the bad guy doesn't intend to keep their end of the bargain and they're going to kill everybody either way.

And then comes a moment when Robin and Sanji face their captain once again, and even though they tell him to just leave, Luffy has none of it and tells them to state outright what they want. He asks Robin to say if she wants to die, and he asks Sanji to say what he really want.

Now, the main difference is the setting. Robin is on the upper level, surrounded by enemies and wearing seastone handcuffs, while Straw Hats just burned down the World Government flag to show they will go to war for her. Meanwhile, Sanji talks with Luffy on a desolated area, only with corpses of defeated soldiers around them; Sanji managed to sneak out of the Whole Cake Chateau to meet with his captain.

There is also the fact that Sanji points out reasons why he can't go back: because he attacked Luffy, because Baratie is held hostage and because his family is going to die. Because he and Luffy are alone, they can have a conversation like that, while Robin couldn't (partly also because a lot was happening around her, with Spandam, Franky burning Pluton and all).

I've read that people draw comparisons between the two arcs, but I actually think it's good. I've realized long time ago that there is a trend with female Straw Hats' arcs - Nami, Vivi and Robin - when they are dealing with terrible situation on their own and Luffy basically tells them it's alright to ask for help; that he will risk his life for them, because they are friends (maybe it's not as pronounced with Vivi, who - for most of the Arabasta Saga - hangs out with Straw Hats and tells them what they should do, but at some point Luffy has to remind her that during the fight people die and she shouldn't be the only one staking her life on the line to prevent it).

Meanwhile with guys, most of the time things just happen. Luffy says he's going to help them fight and the guys are like: "Okay, thanks!" This was how they defended Syrop Village, Baratie and Drum Kingdom etc. Well, maybe Franky was a dick at first, and Brook told the Straw Hats he doesn't want to risk their lives for him on Thriller Bark, but they quickly move past that, becuase hey, they have common enemy and they may as well fight with it together.

Bottom line is that for once we have a male Straw Hat in a situation which he originally wanted to deal on his own, but he soon realized that he can't do anything about it alone. This time it's Sanji that is told by Luffy to ask for help, because he has friends. And I think it's a nice change of pace.

[coulroworld]

for real, tho. when i first started to practice juggling, my forearms were sore for like three days

Just noticed my health app lets you log juggling as exercise

[egpenrose]

EG Penrose, Writblr Intro

Heya, I'm EG she/her. I'm just getting into Tumblr in general and started seeing these intros, so here's mine.

I write mostly fantasy with maybe a touch of scifi. I've been inspired by many authors, notably: Anne McCaffrey, Mercedes Lackey, Patricia Wrede, Philip Pullman, Tamsyn Muir.

I have been a hobby writer for years, but I'm working on a novel I intend to publish. I'm discovering there's a lot of process in professional writing that isn't in writing for fun (redo your whole plot, anyone?)

I would love to get more involved with the writblr community, so asks, tag games, all that I would love to be included. I apologize in advance if I mess up the tumblr etiquette (also please feel free to let me know if I do)

My WIP

Touch the Copper Skin of Frog--Work brings Alexander to the recently annexed Noegrad province where he discovers the lobies, a group of individuals unable to talk. Infuriated that more isn't being done for them, he takes it on himself to find a cure (well you know, get medical professionals involved). But he can't make progress until he discovers what took away the lobies' voices.

[f1cha0s]

Ladies and gentlemen..... you are very pessimistic) Let's find the answer to one question: why did he choose Melissa?How is she different from others? I can't understand. And so I do not know – either this is really the very relationship that Fer has been waiting for all his life, or it will end badly again...

My thoughts:

1. She is mother of three children. I don't mind, she looks amazing. But children are always hindrance to relationships, especially if they are small. And she has three of them! Fer does not look like someone who is ready for the fact that attention is paid not only to him.

2. Relationship began with deception of their previous partners. Why? Big passion? Lack of adrenaline? Tired of living without problems? He hid relationship with Melissa and apparently for good reason, story in Monaco is confirmation.

3. Good s*x? Yes, it's convenient NOW. But there are too many inconveniences and unnecessary reputational losses, wouldn't you agree?

4. Are we sure their relationship didn't start in 2022? If you remember, he stopped being active with Andrea in November-December. Didn't post photos, stopped putting likes. In January, he didn't post anything from his vacation with Andrea, even though she was with him. It was at this time that they were constantly working with Melissa. Shooting of program, presentation AMR23, interview for DAZN.

*•* Does DAZN have anything to do with this? Whole Lobi thing? I have a few thoughts, but I don't think it's worth talking about now...

He was really happy with the DAZN renewal lol

[masihangat]

aku kira gak akan secepat ini

Ayah, kali ini aku nangisnya bukan lagi karena gak bisa selesaikan tugas matematika atau karena sebel dijailin teman sekolah, jatoh dari sepeda, tertinggal di kedai kue, atau salah pegang tangan ayahnya orang lain waktu asyik memilih buku di toko, tidak diberi es krim padahal adik adik dibelikan, tidak bisa ikut teman2 bermain karena harus tetep kumpul bareng keluarga lainnya, dan hal remeh temeh lainnya yang sering ku tangisi di masa kecil

Kali ini aku nangis lihat ayah kesulitan solat karena kaki yang bengkak, kesulitan makan karena pengap, kesulitan beraktivitas karena jalan sedikit aja udah kecapean, tidur sambil duduk karena harus menormalkan ritme jantung, setiap hari disuntik untuk cek kadar gula dalam darah, tubuhmu semakin ringkih dalam waktu secepat ini yah... kukira akan ada hari hari pertama di perkuliahan atau di pekerjaan yang akan ayah bersamai seperti sebelumnya, kukira akan ada makan malam sembunyi dari ibu lagi, kukira akan ada bersepeda 30kilo lagi, kukira akan ada hiking cape yang bikin kita jatuh berdua lagi, kukira akan ada nasi goreng campur bahan makanan di kulkas dan jus campur buah buahan yang ada di kulkas lagi, ternyata hal-hal itu tidak diperbolehkan dokter untuk kesehatan jantung dan diabetesnya yah gapapa biar makan rebusan tapi tetep kita barengan ya? biar jajan jajan di mall kita cium aromanya saja tapi kita tetap jalan barengan ya? biar alarm di rumah dipenuhi jadwal makan obat ayah tapi kita tetep punya jadwal olahraga barengan lagi ya?

Yah, aku udah gaperlu dianter kesana kesini aku udah bisa melakukan semuanya sendiri, aku udah gaperlu ayah cariin baju buat pergi lagi karena aku udah bisa bikin matching tampilanku sendiri, aku gaminta ayah selesaikan soal matematika lagi, aku ga minta ayah buat pecat guru yang berani-beraninya bikin aku nangis sesenggukan didepan ayah, aku ga minta bread talk di setiap 15 juli lagi, aku ga minta ayah pegangin sepeda untuk berani ke jalan raya, aku ga minta buku setiap bulan dan memaksa ayah belikan buat adik2 juga, aku ga ikut ikut ayah meeting dan tertidur di sofa lobi, aku udah ga tidur didepan tv lagi, udah gak harus ditelfonin ditengah rapat organisasi, udah ga harus ayah tanya tentang dosen dosen pembimbing yang ada aja kelakuannya tapi kalau masih mau tanya gapapa nanti kita ketawain bareng lagi aja ya?

Aku udah bisa anter ayah kemanapun ayah mau, bahkan banyak diskusi diskusi kecil terjadi di tengah macetnya kota bandung dalam mobil dengan semerbak kopi kesukaan kita!, aku bisa dana akan bisa kapanpun ayah mau, ayo kita pergi ke kedai kedai tempat beristirahat kita dari capenya gowes sepeda berkilo-kilo, ayo kita pergi ke kajian lagi, sebentar lagi ramadhan yah, ayo kita beli banyak parcel untuk dibagikan, kalau dulu aku yang ngantre di kasir ayah yang cari barang-barang kali ini boleh deh ayah aja yang nunggu sambil jaga troli biar aku yang lari-larian cari barang sampai troli penuh, ayo sehat lagi! biar diskusi panjang kita bukan hanya terjadi di perjalanan menuju rumah sakit tapi perjalanan-perjalanan asyik menghadiri pameran buku atau tempat kreasi yang seru!, ayo sehat lagi ya ayah! 

-awal tahun 2023 yang maasyaallah

[lobie-the-cartoonist]

y'know, i don't think i ever got to check out Club Penguin Island for the brief time it was open, but like

why does jetpack guy have big naturals.

[lobie5]

people who draw object heads are the realest

[coulroworld]

i love my ocs :o]

[bmwiid]

I never learned his real name - he was my 2nd in command in our WoW guild and we called him Lobi.

I spoke to him for multiple hours a day for 3 years. When SWtOR came out, we moved over to that - but it wasn't quite the same. He got engaged and stopped playing as much, (very healthy TBH considering how much time we spent online) then our WoW server got moved and I lost all contact with him.

I was.... 15?

He was about 25 or so and was such an important part of my life - nothing flirty ever, he was just a cool fuckin guy who talked to me about raids and helped me work out some school stuff like if university was something I wanted to do, and stuff like that. I'm 39 now and I still remember how much fun we had with stupid memes and dealing with weird shit like when our healer went through a divorce and was struggling with it all...

If you are out there, Lobi, you were cool as fuck and I still miss running through raids with you and Biggers (he's doing better now he's not in the army, we've even met a couple times) and Daunte. Alex is still crushing it, and it's really odd how he's like a grown ass man now, and not a 12 year old elf hunter.

Miss ya, man.

online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.

[ejharawk]

Paris Jackson Berkembang dengan Sendirinya

Musisi tangguh berusia 24 tahun ini tetap setia pada dirinya sendiri.

Penulis: Pamela Chelin

Fotografer: Robert Ascroft

Sumber: Majalah Spin, 25 Agustus 2022

“Saya tidak menganggap diri saya seorang penyanyi,” kata Paris Jackson. “Saya bisa membawakan lagu. Saya bisa menyanyi dengan kuncinya…tetapi ada orang-orang yang merupakan penyanyi profesional dan mereka akan membuat Anda terpesona. Saya tidak melakukan hal-hal seperti itu.”

“Saya dapat mencapai nada yang sangat tinggi sehingga terdengar seperti saya sedang bersiul,” tambah penduduk asli L.A. ini. “Tetapi saya menggunakannya hanya ketika menyanyikan lagu Van Halen. Saya bisa berteriak seperti David Lee Roth, tapi ini lebih merupakan trik pesta. Itu bukan cara saya mengekspresikan diri. Saya seorang penulis lagu lebih dari apa pun.”

Saat itu sore yang panas di tengah musim panas. Musisi, model, dan aktris berusia 24 tahun—satu-satunya putri Michael Jackson yang legendaris—duduk di kursi berlengan di lobi sebuah hotel di Hollywood Barat.

Paris, yang rambut pirangnya berlapis-lapis dengan sedikit garis merah, mengenakan pakaian berwarna gelap dan longgar, blus merah marun yang tidak dikancingkan di atas tank top berwarna coklat, dan celana abu-abu sepanjang tiga perempat dengan sepasang sandal. Kecuali sentuhan riasan pada mata hijaunya yang mencolok, wajahnya telanjang.

Dengan selera fesyen Paris yang tajam, tas Prada-nya, kacamata hitam ala John Lennon, cincin di hampir setiap jari, tindik hidung, ditambah kalung, gelang kaki, dan cincin di jari kaki, dia tampak seperti bintang rock bohemian yang anggun.

Selama beberapa tahun terakhir, Paris, yang bermain gitar sejak usia 13 tahun, telah membangun karir musik yang solid, bermula dengan The Soundflowers, sebuah duo folk indie dengan pacarnya, Gabriel Glenn.

Pasangan ini bertemu di Rainbow Bar & Grill yang terkenal di Sunset Strip pada tahun 2018 dan segera mulai berkencan. Dalam seminggu mereka tinggal di mobil Glenn dan membuat musik bersama.

Pada bulan Juni 2020, mereka secara resmi meluncurkan mini album The Soundflowers dan serial dokumenter yang terdiri dari enam bagian, Unfiltered: Paris Jackson & Gabriel Glenn, memberikan gambaran mendalam tentang pasangan tersebut dan perjalanan musik mereka.

Namun, dengan perselisihan yang muncul dalam hubungan mereka di episode terakhir, pasangan itu putus tak lama kemudian, membuat Paris patah hati.

“Itu adalah cinta terdalam yang pernah saya rasakan pada seseorang. Itu adalah pengkhianatan paling intens yang pernah saya rasakan sejauh ini, dan pengkhianatan paling intens yang pernah saya rasakan dan alami sejauh ini…,” kata Paris kepada Willow Smith di Red Table Talk tahun lalu.

Paris enggan membahas perpisahannya saat ini, lebih memilih untuk berbicara melalui karya seninya. Dengan sopan, dia mengatakan jawaban atas pertanyaan tentang hubungannya sebelumnya dapat ditemukan dalam musiknya, di mana dia berpaling, menulis lagu untuk menyalurkan rasa sakitnya.

Berakhirnya hubungan Paris memicu dimulainya jalur musik solonya, dan tidak butuh waktu lama sebelum dia mendapatkan kontrak rekaman pertamanya, menandatangani kontrak dengan Republic Records pada musim gugur 2020.

Dari sana, dia hampir tidak membuang waktu untuk merilis album penuh solo debutnya bertajuk Wilted. Sebuah rekaman konsep folk alternatif yang melankolis dan halus tentang cinta, patah hati, kesedihan, dan kelahiran kembali.

Disebut sebagai “indie pop yang dibuat dengan baik” oleh Rolling Stone, Wilted mencapai nomer satu di deretan tangga Album Alternatif iTunes AS. Single utama “Let Down” memperoleh 1,5 juta streaming dalam dua minggu pertama peluncurannya dan disertai dengan video musik gotik yang diproduksi secara eksekutif oleh sutradara horor Eli Roth dan disutradarai oleh Meredith Alloway.

Video dibuka dengan suara detak jantung saat Paris menyeka darah yang mengalir dari matanya. “Head hanging down / Shredded evening gown / Eyes painted black / A tragic paperback,” dia bernyanyi dengan sedih, merenungkan kisah cinta yang tragis.

Mengenakan bunga di rambutnya dan gaun Victoria, Paris menari bersama kekasihnya di pesta topeng. Saat malam semakin larut, keadaan berubah menjadi gelap, meninggalkannya dalam kesedihan dan sendirian.

“Let me down again / Break me, flush me down the drain / Let me down again” dia bernyanyi, bersatu kembali dengan kekasihnya untuk tarian terakhir yang berakibat fatal ketika sang kekasih menjatuhkannya, merobek jantungnya, dan selanjutnya meletakkan mayat Paris. Membiarkannya tergeletak di lantai.

“Dia seperti, 'Inilah rasa sakit dan perjuanganku dan apa yang telah aku lalui dan, boom, inilah lagu-laguku.' Semuanya sangat pribadi dan aku menghormati dan mengaguminya,” kata penyanyi/penulis lagu Manchester Orchestra Andy Hull, salah satu dari Pahlawan penulisan lagu Jackson, yang ikut memproduseri Wilted dengan gitaris utama bandnya, Robert McDowell.

“Saya menyukai siapa pun yang bersedia mengungkapkannya secara terbuka, terutama seseorang seperti dia yang berhak mendapatkan privasi sebanyak yang dia inginkan.”

Memang benar, ini adalah bukti kekuatan karakter Paris yang ia tulis secara tidak hati-hati, dengan kualitas yang membumi yang tidak memungkinkannya tumbuh dalam sorotan. Dengan lirik yang mentah, pribadi, dan sungguh-sungguh, Paris mengartikulasikan rasa sakit dan kerinduannya dengan metafora yang kaya dan gambaran yang jelas, secara efektif menyampaikan lintasan emosional dari patah hatinya, dan diekspresikan melalui vokalnya yang manis, hangat, dan penuh perasaan.

“Saya ingin menjadi deskriptif dan puitis,” katanya. “Saya suka menjelaskan secara mendalam dan melihat apa yang bisa saya dapatkan darinya.”

Selama bertahun-tahun, Paris menyimpan lagu-lagunya yang mengungkapkan perasaannya untuk dirinya sendiri, takut untuk mengungkapkannya secara publik: “Lagu yang saya tulis sangat rentan, dan kita semua mungkin takut untuk berada pada tingkat rentan tersebut—tidak hanya dengan orang lain yang sudah menakutkan—tapi dengan kerumunan orang, itu cukup menakutkan.”

Yang lebih menakutkan lagi bagi Paris adalah berencana merilis musik sambil memikul beban warisan ayahnya. Saat dia mengukir jalur musiknya sendiri, dia menghadapi tekanan yang dapat dimengerti.

Namun, sepenuhnya tidak adil, baik dari dalam maupun luar, untuk memenuhi standar yang mustahil. Intensitasnya naik turun: “Tergantung harinya,” katanya. “Beberapa hari saya merasakan tekanan itu, dan beberapa hari saya merasa… ya, musik yang saya buat benar-benar berbeda. Saya tidak membuat R&B, soul, dan funk.”

Media sering menyebut Paris sebagai “bangsawan pop”, tetapi dia sendiri sangat berbakat. Saat teringat akan sebutan nepotis tersebut, dia berkata tanpa basa-basi, “Saya tidak menggunakan label.”

Paris dengan cepat meluruskan gelar ayahnya ketika dia disebut sebagai "Raja Pop". “Pop, rock, dan jiwa. Itu sebenarnya nama lengkap yang diberikan kepadanya,” katanya.

“Ketika dia menerima penghargaan [di Soul Train Awards 1989], adalah Liz {Taylor} yang menjulukinya 'Raja Pop, Rock, dan Jiwa.' Semua orang memutuskan untuk menyingkatnya menjadi 'Raja Pop,' tapi ia sebenarnya lebih dari itu. Dia meminta Eddie Van Halen dan Slash bermain di beberapa [musiknya] dan Carlos Santana. Itu belum tentu pop. Memang tidak ada yang salah dengan pop, tapi ada lebih banyak lapisan di dalamnya.”

Ada juga lebih banyak lapisan untuk menjadi musisi yang merupakan keturunan dari sebuah ikon selain ditanam dalam bayang-bayang yang jelas. Meskipun sebagian besar pemain memiliki kebebasan untuk mengembangkan keterampilan mereka secara anonim, Jackson berada di bawah pengawasan sejak awal.

“Beberapa tur pertama yang Anda ikuti adalah tempat Anda menghabiskan waktu, menemukan jalan, merasa nyaman, dan belajar cara menangani kesalahan,” katanya. “Setiap artis yang akan melakukan tur dan tampil memiliki pengalaman itu, tetapi bagi saya… kesalahan yang dilakukan semua orang… kesalahan saya akan semakin besar.”

Namun, bertekad untuk terus mengembangkan kemampuannya, Paris bertahan. “Saya tidak melihat gunanya melakukan hal sebaliknya,” katanya dengan tegas.

Faktanya, hampir setiap tindakan yang dilakukan Paris menjadi perhatian publik, menjadi berita utama, spekulasi, dan analisis — apakah itu makan di restoran bersama temannya, yang memicu rumor percintaan, atau komentar tentang pakaian yang dikenakannya (gaun mini berwarna tembaga, stoking jala, dan sepatu tempur) selama penampilannya baru-baru ini dalam "The Tonight Show" yang dibawakan Jimmy Fallon.

Umumnya, dia menghadapinya dengan tenang, baik mengabaikan pengawasan yang tiada henti atau menggunakan Twitter, di mana dia menghadapinya secara langsung atau mengalihkannya dengan lelucon. Namun, dia membatasi waktu yang dia habiskan di media sosial, secara keseluruhan, untuk menjaga ruang pikirannya.

Ini adalah bukti ketangguhan Paris bahwa dia terlibat secara online dan masih mempertahankan selera humor yang sehat. Ketika dia berusia 15 tahun, dia mengambil jeda dua tahun dari media sosial setelah menjadi korban cyberbullying dan berulang kali disuruh bunuh diri, yang menyebabkan upaya bunuh diri yang didokumentasikan secara luas pada tahun 2013.

Bukan rahasia lagi bahwa Paris telah menanggung lebih dari sekadar tragedi, trauma, kehilangan, dan rasa sakit. Tanggapannya setelah melalui begitu banyak kesulitan di masa mudanya adalah, “Siapa yang belum?”

Paris baru berusia 11 tahun ketika ayahnya meninggal secara tiba-tiba pada tanggal 25 Juni 2009, kurang dari tiga minggu sebelum dimulainya rencana konser "This Is It" di O2 Arena London.

Wajah Paris, yang selalu ditutupi ayahnya di depan umum untuk menjaga anonimitas anak-anaknya, pertama kali dilihat oleh seluruh dunia pada upacara pemakaman sang ayah yang disiarkan televisi dari Stadion Staples Center, L.A., 12 hari setelah kematian Michael.

Dengan ribuan orang yang hadir dan jutaan orang yang menonton di seluruh dunia, dia berdiri di depan mikrofon, dikelilingi oleh keluarga Jackson. “Sejak saya lahir, Ayah telah menjadi ayah terbaik yang pernah Anda bayangkan,” kata Jackson, sebelum menjadi terlalu emosional untuk berbicara. “Dan aku hanya ingin mengatakan aku sangat mencintainya,” lanjutnya sambil menangis, sebelum membenamkan wajahnya di pelukan bibinya Janet Jackson.

Ibu Paris Jackson, Debbie Rowe, seorang asisten dermatologi yang bekerja untuk dokter kulit Michael. Telah bercerai dari Michael kurang dari 10 tahun ketika Michael meninggal. Rowe menikah dengan Michael pada tahun 1996 ketika dia sedang mengandung kakak laki-laki Jackson, Prince.

Hampir satu setengah tahun kemudian, pada tanggal 3 April 1998, Paris lahir. (Michael dan temannya, Kathy Hilton, membuat perjanjian untuk memberikan nama tersebut kepada putri mereka masing-masing.) Namun, di antara teman-temannya, Paris dikenal sebagai “PK” yang berasal dari nama lengkapnya, Paris-Michael Katherine Jackson.

Rowe dan Michael baru menikah selama tiga tahun, dengan Rowe melepaskan bagian hak asuh atas anak-anak mereka ketika mereka bercerai. Adik laki-laki Paris, Bigi, yang selama bertahun-tahun dikenal sebagai “Selimut,” lahir melalui ibu pengganti pada tahun 2002. Paris juga menganggap Omer Bhatti, 37 tahun, putra mantan pengasuh Paris dan Prince, Pia Bhatti, sebagai saudara laki-lakinya.

Seperti yang diharapkan, Paris tumbuh dalam lingkungan musik, tenggelam dalam rekaman ayahnya dan beragam campuran musik yang dia nikmati, termasuk radio Top 40, Motown, funk, rap jadul, musik klasik, Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, soundtrack film, dan The Beatles.

Sejak usia sangat muda, Paris sepertinya tahu dia ingin mengabdikan hidupnya pada musik. Dalam interaksi menyentuh yang terekam dalam video rumahan yang direkam pada ulang tahun Paris yang keempat, dia memberi tahu Michael bahwa harapan ulang tahunnya adalah menyanyi dan menari seperti dia.

Paris mengatakan dia melihat video itu lagi baru-baru ini. Diminta untuk menggambarkan bagaimana perasaannya saat menontonnya, dia tersenyum manis, menunduk, dan memiringkan dagunya ke bawah. “Aku tidak tahu,” katanya pelan. Setelah jeda, dia menambahkan, “Itu lucu sekali.”

Tumbuh bersama ayahnya, Paris, seorang yang rajin membaca buku dan puisi ketika masih kanak-kanak. Bersekolah di rumah. Pembelajaran dimulai pada pukul 09.00 dan berakhir pada pukul 15.00, diselingi istirahat makan siang.

Dia dibesarkan dalam kemewahan tetapi ayahnya yang penyayang juga tidak ingin memanjakan anak-anaknya. Mereka sering kali mendapatkan mainan dengan membaca buku dan diuji isinya. Sebagai seorang ayah yang sangat terlibat, Michael juga memperhatikan pola makan anak-anaknya, dengan menawarkan gandum utuh, tebu, dan gula merah, dibandingkan tepung putih dan gula rafinasi.

Michael juga bepergian ke banyak negara di dunia bersama anak-anaknya, memperkenalkan mereka pada beragam budaya dan semua lapisan masyarakat. “Saya tumbuh besar di jalanan,” kata Paris.

“Kami tidak pernah menghabiskan lebih dari setahun di satu tempat.” Dia sangat mengingat Irlandia karena kehijauannya. Pada akhirnya, mereka kembali ke California di mana Michael menghabiskan hari-hari terakhirnya dalam latihan "This Is It".

Di luar beban yang hampir tidak dapat diatasi dalam mencoba menyesuaikan diri dengan kehilangan ayahnya yang mengejutkan, ada transisi penting lainnya dalam kehidupan Paris setelah kematian Michael.

Awalnya, dia dan saudara-saudaranya tinggal bersama nenek mereka, Katherine Jackson, yang menjadi wali sah mereka. (Sepupu Paris, Tito Joe, menjadi wali bersama pada tahun 2012 dan bertahun-tahun kemudian diangkat menjadi wali tunggal.)

Terlebih lagi, untuk pertama kalinya dalam hidupnya, Paris bersekolah (The Buckley School di Sherman Oaks), di mana dia merasa lebih terhubung dengan guru daripada teman sekelasnya.

“Saya mencoba beradaptasi sebaik mungkin dan akhirnya hanya berteman dengan para guru, mungkin karena saya sudah terbiasa dikelilingi oleh orang dewasa selama saya bersekolah di rumah,” katanya.

“Saya berkembang sedemikian rupa sehingga saya dapat berkomunikasi lebih mudah dengan orang yang lebih tua. Itulah yang membuat saya nyaman karena itulah yang saya tahu.”

Namun, tumbuh tanpa teman sebaya, menghabiskan seluruh waktunya bersama ayah dan saudara laki-lakinya, memasuki dunia baru ini merupakan penyesuaian yang sangat sulit bagi Paris—dan hal ini menambah kesedihan, kecemasan, dan depresinya setelah kematian ayahnya.

Dalam Unfiltered: Paris Jackson & Gabriel Glenn, Paris mengatakan dia beralih ke makanan rumahan di rumah neneknya, yang tidak memiliki pantangan makanan, dan berat badannya mulai bertambah.

Dia juga menceritakan bahwa setelah sepupunya memberitahunya bahwa dia gemuk, dia mengganti kecanduan makanan dengan tindakan menyakiti diri sendiri—memotong dan membakar dirinya sendiri. Secara signifikan, lagu pertama yang dibawakan Paris secara live adalah lagu "Hurt" dari Nine Inch Nails versi Johnny Cash.

Dia juga berbicara terus terang tentang upaya bunuh diri di masa lalu, yang pada akhirnya menyebabkan Layanan Perlindungan Anak mengancam akan membawa Paris pergi dari sekolah asrama mengubah perilaku di Utah pada tahun 2013.

Pada waktu yang hampir bersamaan, dia berhubungan kembali dengan ibunya, hubungan yang masih ada, namun ini topik yang Paris enggan diskusikan.

Ketika dia kembali ke Los Angeles dari Utah, dia menyelesaikan sekolah menengahnya sebelum menyelesaikan satu semester di community college.

Paris mengunggah tentang pengalamannya di sekolah mengubah perilaku via Instastory Instagram-nya dua tahun lalu, mengungkapkan bahwa hal itu membuat dia dan beberapa teman sekelasnya menderita Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), mimpi buruk, dan masalah kepercayaan.

Tahun lalu, dia juga mengungkapkan di Red Table Talk bahwa dia menderita PTSD karena diinjak saat masih kecil di tengah kerumunan paparazzi yang mengejar ayahnya yang superstar.

Dia akan gampang dterpicu oleh suara gemerisik kantong sampah, mengalami halusinasi pendengaran saat mendengar bunyi klik kamera, paranoia, dan pernah mengalami serangan panik di acara-acara publik.

Pada bulan Mei, 2022, Paris menarik diri dari kerumunan orang saat menghadiri pembukaan Hard Rock Hotel New York di Times Square. Dia menjelaskan alasannya melalui akun Twitter: “Jika saya tidak merasa aman karena seperti dikejar-kejar di tengah kerumunan selama beberapa blok, dan saya harus menyingkir, maka saya akan melakukannya. Dan saya minta maaf jika itu membuat kalian merasa saya seolah tidak peduli padamu. Saya peduli. Sangat peduli. Tapi saya juga peduli dengan keselamatanku.”

Lalu ada musik—satu-satunya tempat teraman baginya. Selama momen-momen tergelapnya, dia mencari perlindungan melalui band-band favoritnya—termasuk Manchester Orchestra, Radiohead, dan Bright Eyes, yang semuanya dia abadikan di antara sekitar 90 tato yang telah dikumpulkan Paris sejak remaja. Beberapa rajah di antaranya untuk menghormati ayahnya, contohnya sampul album Dangerous milik Michael.

Karena musik selalu menjadi penyelamat bagi Paris, sangat penting baginya untuk membantu orang lain dengan lagu-lagunya. Dia sering kali diliputi emosi ketika para penggemar berbagi kenyamanan yang mereka peroleh dari hubungan tersebut.

“Cakra hati saya selalu terbuka ketika saya mendengarkan musik Anda. Terima kasih atas penyembuhannya,” komentar salah satu pengikut Instagram Paris, sementara penggemar lainnya memposting “Suaramu adalah obat.”

“Tidak ada kata-kata untuk menggambarkan perasaan saya,” kata Paris. “Jika saya harus memilih beberapa kata: lengkap, utuh, dan punya tujuan.”

Tidak mengherankan jika musiknya sangat menarik, mengingat keaslian proses penulisannya. Dia duduk dengan gitar akustiknya hanya ketika dia benar-benar terinspirasi: “Saya telah mencoba untuk duduk dan memaksakan diri untuk menulis, dan tidak ada hasil yang baik.”

Bahwa Paris tetap setia pada inspirasinya juga terlihat dalam evolusinya sebagai seorang seniman. Hanya beberapa bulan setelah merilis mini album berisi tiga lagu melankolis, The Lost (di mana ia berkolaborasi dengan trio folk Caamp yang berbasis di Ohio), Paris beralih ke gitar rock tahun 90-an yang ia sukai di sekolah menengah pertama, merilis “Lighthouse” yang terinspirasi grunge, plus menampilkan gitaris Pearl Jam, Mike McCready. Sementara videoklipnya adalah penghormatan kepada klip “Sliver” milik Nirvana.

“I’m the flask in your pocket on a rainy day / And she’s the one that you share it with on the train,” Paris bernyanyi, sebelum memasukkan vokalnya dengan geraman yang kuat di tengah gitar listrik yang renyah dan berirama serta ketukan drum yang mantap.

“And you burn your throat / Intoxicated on what could have been our love,” lanjutnya. Saat dia mencapai bagian refrain, vokal Paris yang memohon melambung di atas gitar yang berputar-putar: “I can feel the lights go low / But I don't wanna let go now / Maybe if I turn around, you'll see me / And what you used to be."

“Paris punya lagu-lagu yang perlu digemari,” kata Butch Walker, nomine Grammy, yang memproduseri, ikut menulis, dan bermain gitar di “Lighthouse,” bersama dengan beberapa lagu lain yang masih akan dirilis.

Paris adalah penggemar Marvelous 3, band lama Walker era 90-an, sebelum pasangan ini berteman enam tahun lalu dan menjadikannya produser yang ideal untuk membantu mewujudkan visinya dalam memadukan musik folk dengan gitar rock pada era tersebut.

“Itu merupakan bagian dari saya. Jadi kombinasi itu mudah dan tanpa susah payah saya lakukan,” kata Walker. “Dia akan mereferensikan hal-hal tertentu untuk lagu-lagu tertentu, seperti yang dilakukan semua orang di studio, dan saya sepenuhnya setuju dengan semua referensi dan pengaruh tersebut—semua orang mulai dari band saya hingga The Smashing Pumpkins, The Cranberries, Foo Fighters, dan Nirvana. Saya menemukan semua hal itu, yang tidak jauh dari jalur saya. Dan saya mengetahui bagaimana cara merekam lagu-lagu seperti itu.”

Selain gitar yang lebih keras, Paris telah melepaskan vokalnya, menambahkan lebih banyak volume dan sikap kurang ajar. “Mempelajari cara memproyeksikan dan berteriak adalah alasan saya melakukan ini,” katanya. “Saya telah belajar bagaimana bersenang-senang dengan suara saya dan berhenti berusaha terdengar cantik, dan hanya mengeluarkan suara keras yang ingin saya buat.”

“Dia hebat dalam memproduksi vokalnya sendiri dan berkata, 'Aku harus memukulnya lagi dan aku harus memukulnya lebih keras.' Terkadang dia menyanyikan ulang seluruh lagu karena seiring berjalannya waktu dia akan menemukan sisi dari suaranya yang belum pernah dia gunakan sebelumnya,” kata Walker, mengingat etos kerja Paris yang kuat. “Dia ada di sana untuk setiap hal sampai saya berkata, 'Semuanya sudah oke. Kamu bisa pergi sekarang.'”

“Ini terutama karena saya peduli,” kata Paris. “Saat kita peduli pada sesuatu, sangat mudah untuk termotivasi.”

Sementara itu, saat Paris terus menulis lagu tentang perpisahannya, dia menyadari bahwa liriknya yang suram tidak mencerminkan keadaannya saat ini. “Saya adalah orang yang paling bahagia dan sehat,” katanya, “dan lagu-lagu saya menjadi jauh lebih gelap dalam setahun terakhir.”

Paris tidak yakin mengapa liriknya menjadi lebih berat, meskipun tampaknya wataknya yang lebih ceria disebabkan oleh perubahan gaya hidupnya. Dia mengganti kebiasaannya yang “sangat aktif di malam hari” dengan rutinitas yang berorientasi pada siang hari, memberinya lebih banyak waktu untuk menyelesaikan sesuatu dan melakukan hobi baru, seperti panjat tebing.

Dia juga menjalani terapi, tidak lagi merokok setengah bungkus sehari, dan, yang paling penting, mulai mencintai dirinya sendiri setelah bertahun-tahun diganggu oleh rasa benci pada diri sendiri.

“Ketika saya bercermin, saya tidak lagi membenci apa yang saya lihat, dan saya tumbuh menjadi cinta diri…Saya mencoba memperlakukan diri saya dengan baik,” katanya.

“Saya mengalami hari-hari buruk di mana saya tidak sebaik yang saya inginkan… Saya tidak melakukan apa pun dengan sempurna, tetapi saya mencoba untuk maju setiap hari.”

Paris juga mengelilingi dirinya dengan orang-orang yang membuatnya bahagia, belajar menangani situasi antarpribadi dengan lebih konstruktif, dan memprioritaskan kebutuhannya daripada menyenangkan orang lain.

“Karena saya melihat diri saya sebagai seorang teman, ketika saya tidak menjaga batasan atau tidak menetapkan batasan, itu seperti memberikan jaminan kepada seorang teman,” katanya. “Saya merasa tidak enak jika saya memberikan jaminan kepada seorang teman, jadi jika saya melakukan hal tersebut pada diri saya sendiri, saya juga memberikan jaminan kepada seorang teman, dan rasanya tidak enak lagi.”

Satu hal yang selalu menyenangkan bagi Paris: menikmati musik live. Selama musim panas, dia telah menghadiri banyak pertunjukan, termasuk Bob Dylan, Bon Iver, Tash Sultana, dan Bright Eyes, yang penampilannya membuatnya menangis.

“Saya menangis mungkin selama 50 atau 60 persen pertunjukan. Itu adalah salah satu pertunjukan terbaik yang pernah saya lihat dalam hidup saya,” katanya.

Paris juga suka melukis dan menonton film, dengan kecenderungan pada genre horor dan fantasi. Dia menganggap film The Lord of the Rings sebagai salah satu film favoritnya, dan dia memberi penghormatan dengan menamai kucingnya Frodo. (Dia juga memiliki seekor anjing bernama Koa.)

Namun, dia juga memiliki pengalaman di sisi lain kamera: Paris mulai berakting ketika dia berusia 17 tahun dan telah muncul di beberapa acara TV dan film, termasuk Star, American Horror Stories, dan Gringo. “Akting selalu menjadi hal yang mudah bagi saya,” katanya. “Itu hanya sesuatu yang menyenangkan untuk dilakukan, bentuk ekspresi lain.”

Namun, modelinglah yang dianggap Paris sebagai pekerjaannya. Dia menghiasi sampul majalah Vogue; dia berjalan di peragaan busana di pertunjukan terakhir perancang busana terkenal Prancis, Jean Paul Gaultier; dan baru-baru ini, dia muncul di kampanye Kecantikan SKIMS dan KVD.

Meskipun dia mengapresiasi fesyen sebagai bentuk seni dan ekspresi diri, tidak selalu demikian. Paris—duta Elizabeth Taylor (yang notabene ibu baptisnya) AIDS Foundation dan Heal Los Angeles Foundation (didirikan oleh saudara laki-lakinya Prince)—awalnya mulai menjadi model untuk mengembangkan platformnya dan menarik lebih banyak perhatian pada aktivismenya.

Di atas panggung di Grammy Awards 2017, dia menyuarakan dukungannya terhadap para pengunjuk rasa saluran pipa Dakota Access dan, pada akhir tahun itu, dengan keras mengecam kekerasan dan ketidakadilan rasial di Charlottesville sebelum memberikan penghargaan di MTV VMA.

Pada tanggal 4 Juli, dia mengunggah video dirinya ke media sosial: “Selamat Hari Genosida Nasional semuanya, alias Hari Kemerdekaan,” kata Paris. “Tentu saja bukan kemandirian masyarakat adat atau siapa pun yang memiliki rahim… teriaklah ke Mahkamah Agung,” tambahnya, sebelum mendorong semua orang agar aman.

Sebagaimana yang ia lakukan, terkadang aktivisme Paris mendapat tentangan, bahkan ketika ia menganjurkan perdamaian. “Saya berada di garis depan ketika saya melakukan protes selama protes Black Lives Matters,” katanya. “Saya bertatap muka dengan beberapa polisi, dan saya merasakan panas dari beberapa mobil yang terbakar, dan saya mendapat penolakan karena berkata, 'Hei, mungkin protes damai adalah caranya.'”

“Tidak peduli apa yang saya lakukan—saya bisa ke kiri, saya bisa ke kanan—seseorang akan marah,” lanjutnya. “Jadi sebaiknya saya menjadi diri sendiri dan tidak menimbulkan bahaya dan saya akan baik-baik saja. Begitulah cara saya melihatnya.”

Secara umum, etos Paris berkisar pada spiritualitas yang berakar pada kebaikan, rasa syukur, dan kesatuan. “Saya pikir kita semua selalu terhubung dengan segala hal,” katanya. “Ada kesatuan yang ada, dan kita bisa memutuskan untuk memperhatikannya atau tidak, tapi kita semua terhubung dengan segala sesuatu di sekitar kita.” Sebuah foto yang diposting ke akun Instagram Paris menunjukkan satu set cermin di belakang tempat tidurnya yang berbentuk seperti berbagai fase bulan, dan dia senang berkomunikasi dengan alam, berkemah sebanyak mungkin sebelum musim panas tiba.

Pada musim gugur, Paris akan merilis single berikutnya, “Just You” (diproduksi oleh Walker), sebelum ia memulai debutnya pada bulan November, mengisi slot pembuka dalam tur dengan rocker alternatif asal New Orleans, The Revivalist.

Paris senang bepergian dan mengatakan bahwa dia sangat cocok untuk hidup tanpa membawa koper karena pola asuhnya yang suka berpindah-pindah.

Gagasan untuk tampil di depan penonton yang lebih besar di tempat berkapasitas 2.000 lebih orang adalah hal yang menggetarkan sekaligus menegangkan, namun Paris beralasan bahwa hal itu adalah bagian yang tak terelakkan dari kurva pembelajarannya. “Anda menjadi lebih terampil, namun tantangannya semakin sulit seiring Anda naik level,” katanya, yang mirip dengan video game Super Mario Bros.

Hingga saat ini, ia telah melakukan satu tur solo, pembukaan untuk Patrick Droney, yang diikuti beberapa pertunjukan di SXSW Music Festival pada bulan Maret.

Paris juga bermain di set sore hari pada akhir pekan Memorial Day di Boston Calling Music Festival, di mana dia tampil di depan 1.000 orang—penonton terbesarnya hingga saat ini. Kemudian pada hari itu, dia bergabung dengan Cheap Trick di atas panggung untuk membawakan lagu “Surrender.” “Saya sangat senang melakukannya, tapi saya sangat gugup,” katanya.

Untuk meningkatkan kepercayaan dirinya, Paris bersandar pada band pendukungnya (gitaris Michael O’Grady, bassis Nick Diiorio, dan drummer Anthony Nino Salazar), yang menurutnya dia percayai dalam hidupnya. “Mereka adalah beberapa sahabat saya,” katanya. “Sungguh manusia yang luar biasa dan juga musisi yang sangat luar biasa dan sangat berbakat.”

Sebagai tambahan, Paris juga menyimpan karangan bunga perak kecil di tali gitarnya—mengacu pada lirik Bright Eyes, yang dia ucapkan: “She took a small silver wreath and pinned it onto me / She said, ‘This one will bring you love’ / And I don't know if it's true but I keep it for good luck.”

Mengenai masa depan, Paris mengatakan dia tidak berpikir terlalu jauh ke depan. Sebaliknya, dia menjalani segalanya hari demi hari dan membiarkan perjalanan artistiknya terungkap secara organik. “Saat ini, saya sangat menikmati membuat apa yang saya buat,” katanya.

Paris membuka jalan bagi karier solonya dengan kisah cintanya yang hancur, namun hubungannya yang tak terpatahkan dengan musik memberinya tujuan yang tunggal dan teguh.

“Musik adalah saya,” katanya. “Saya tidak tahu apakah saya dapat menentukan jalur utama. Kira-kira, apa yang menjadi dorongan utama lumba-lumba untuk berenang? Itu yang mereka lakukan karena itulah mereka."

[myafterlifeisbetterthenyours]

I saw your "The I.M.P family finding out your Girlfriend abuses you." and i thought it was great. so, if it's not too much trouble, could you do some where instead of I.M.P., could you do it for others, such as the Hazbin Family, Goetias, and/or Overlords? I just love your work and how you just NAIL these characters, and I'm just so intrigued on how other characters would react to this kind of scenario. I also have more ideas, so please message me for the ideas. love the stories and i love you.

Hazbin hotel family finding out your Girlfriend Abuses you

You walked back into the Hotel, forced to slam the door to keep out the increasing harsh winds.

You'd left to get a few things, but ended up taking a lot longer than you'd intended.

You entered the loby, various bags of groceries stuffed in both arms.

As you fumbled with the door, Angel walked in, the large arachnid clearly bored as he wondered the Hotel, a lazy expression upon his face.

Upon seeing you, he immediately lit up. "Aye kid, good to see ya back!" he said all to cheerfully, walking up to meet you halfway.

You made it to the front desk/Hotel Bar together, placing your groceries down with a heave before you looked them over. "Hey Angel, whats up?" You huffed, glancing up at the Arachnid.

Angel looked down at you, patiently waiting before he cocked his hip and asked, "Did ya' get it?"

You paused, looking up at him your raised a brow. Angel stared right back, extending a hand before asking, "Dah Vodka and Cream?"

You instantly sighed, running a hand down your face.

"I'm so sorry Angel, I totally forgot." You groaned, clutching your head, clearly frustrated with yourself.

Angel looked down at you, thoughts swirling in his head.

You were an odd case.

Youd showed up to the Hotel not long after that "Grand Opening" and while you had no intention of being redeemed. You made it clear, you wanted to help.

Apparently you'd spent much of your mortal life volunteering with charities and aid groups, going to war zones and such.

Regardless, it was impressive how much you seemed to know about helping people, Charlie eagerly hiring you to work at the hotel.

From there you seemed to fit right in. You were a practical person, letting minor things slide, while calling out the big stuff, finding a healthy balance. Kind of like the neutral ground between Charlie's blind optimism and Vaggies utter bitterness.

Angel cocked a hip, giving a little shrug.

"Aw well, getter next time." Angel told ya, leaning against the bar. "Where were ya anyways, you was gone for hours. Thought ya was just getting some things and coming back?" He asked, peaking into your grocery bags.

You released an awkward chuckle, rubbing the back of your neck.

"Yeah, I was. But since I was out, I figured I'd stop by my place and grab a few things I'd forgotten. Aaannnd..." You drew the word out, looking away. "My girlfriend was there. We... we ended up talking for a bit. That's about it."

You looked anxious telling him as much, the spider quickly smiling. "All ya did was talk?" He asked, practically purring in your ear.

You quickly stepped away from him. "Yeah... just talked..." You said with such a somber tone the spider couldn't help but worry.

"Ya know, now dat I thinks about it." he began, doing his best to lighten the mood. "Ya ain't told me much about dat girlfriend of you's. Wat gives, I thought we wuz friends."

Angel always played up his accent when he was trying to lighten the mood. He knew you loved it.

You chuckled, the sound seeming to clear the air just a bit. "Well that's for a good reason." You told him coldly, taking a seat and leaning against the bar.

"She works for an overlord." You told him plainly, fixing your attire.

That instantly peaked his interest, being well aware of what sort of demon worked for Overlords.

"She's an enforcer. A good one." You glanced over at him, "One of her rules for our relationship is 'I don't ask about her, what she does... and I most definitely don't talk about her on a personal level." You finished with the slightest bitter curl to your lip.

You did your best to hide your frustration. Angel saw right through it. He was something of a professional when it came to hiding your emotions.

And it was just as he went to comfort you in some way, maybe try to relate to you, let you know you weren't alone.

That was cut short when a new voice chimed in.

"And whom is it we can't talk about?"

Angel swung around, finding The ever dapper Alastor standing before him.

"Geez Al, I'll need ta tie a fuckin Bell around your neck." Angel grumbled, hand to his chest in exaggerated shock.

Alastor chuckled a radio filled chuckle. "My apologies Angel dear, I was just curious of what you were talking about."

You just smiled, Angel letting out a scoff, "Ah, we wuz just talking bout the usual shit, ya know?" Angel chuckled.

Alastor raised a brow, but seemed to let it pass, Alastor asking you about your day. You spoke shortly, as you looked through your bags.

Which was odd, you were usually quite the chatterbug, you and Alastor having many a lively conversation about this or that.

From the outside, it almost appeared as though you were the best of friends. So even the Radio Femon could tell something was wrong.

Angel reached over and looked into one of the smaller bags. Peaking into it the bag, he found what looked like a packet of something serious, the spider going to stick his hand in and grab it.

You looked over the bags, and upon seeing him about to reach in, you lurched over and snatched the bag out of his hand.

Standing back up, you stuffed the bag under your arm, you and Angel just staring at each other for several moments.

Clearing your throat, you went back to the bags, doing your best to ignore the way the pair were staring at you.

After another few moments you looked up. You glanced at the pair before clearing your throat. "It's... it's personal stuff.

You didn't look at them, wrapping up the bags before giving them a brief nod, turning and walking away.

Angel and Alastor just stood there, staring at you as you walked away.

"That was weird right?" Angel asked, resting an arm on his hip.

"Yes it a was." Alastor Hummed. "What was in the bag?"

Angel sighed, telling him. "Its personal Al, didn't ya hear?" A little smile crossing his lips as he glanced at the radio demon.

Alasstor snorted, glancing over at him.

"Some kinda package or somethin'." He told him, face scrunched up in thought.

"I think I know what its for... I just hope I'm wrong." He told him uncharacteristically serious, the Radio demon taking note.

The two of them just stood there for a moment, neither of them particularly happy about what just happened.

You shambled out of the loby, moving down to the kitchen, dumping the bags onto the counter.

Placing down the bags you looked about, making sure the coast was clear. With no one around, you walked over to the fridge, opening the freezer and grabbed an Ice pack.

Pulling open your collar, you tentatively placed the pack on your shoulder, letting out a deep sigh at the sensation, gently rolling your shoulder.

You stood there for a second, just enjoying the sensation against your sore flesh.

Your moment was cut short when the kitchen door was suddenly swung open, the sound causing you to jump, dropping your ice pack into your hoodie.

Before you could do anything, however, you heard Charlie behind you. Spinning around, you found the Hotels proprietor walking with Vaggie, her... Significant other. You were never really sure what their relationship was.

You tried the grabe the pack, only to cause the Ice pack to slide further down your side.

You just stood there, back Ridged as you watched them walking by.

Charlie quickly noticed you, the girl perking up before striking up a conversation.

You stood there, giving her short, curt answers. Vaggie pointed out how long you'd been, you just telling her youd stopped by your place and got caught up with your girlfriend.

Vaggie instantly soured at that news.

She didn't know why, but the way you always sounded so sombre when talking about her.

You were supposed to sound happy when talking about a girlfriend, like she was with Charlie. But you always sounded like you were talking about an association, not a lover.

The whole thing left a sour taste in her mouth.

Charlie quickly brought up a new strategy shed been cooking up.

The two of you had long been strategising a step by step process to redemption. The two of you having spent many long night talking and throwing around ideas.

You were doing your best to stay calm, the ice pack becoming colder and colder against your tender ribs by the second.

Vaggie watched as you stood there, clearly off. You kept adjusting your hoody, trying and failing to look inconspicuous.

Looking down, finding bags of groceries on the counter. Wasn't all that strange, you had said you were going out.

Besides the various brown bags of foodstuffs, was a smaller bag, all rolled up at the top.

So, stepping forwards, she began unrolling the bag, and just as she'd gotten it open you saw it, darting forwards.

In your haste to snatch the bag, you unintentionally tore it in half, a mess of medical supplies spilling out.

Bandages, painkillers, needle and thread, disinfectant. The medicine littering the kitchen floor.

You froze, before falling to the floor, desperately gathering up the medical supplies.

You went to grab a bottle of disinfectant, when A hand suddenly grabbed it. Looking up, you found Charlie holding the bottle.

You stared at her, Charlie read the bottle before looking down at you. "(Y/N), what's all this?"

Picking yourself up, the icepack decided now was a good time to fall out.

After several moments of silence, you cleared your throat. "I've seen what infections... what wounds and sores can do. I don't want anyone here to have to suffer like that."

You went over to one of the counters. Putting down the supplies. Opening one of the draws, you found another paper bags.

Putting the supplies into the brown bag you picked it up and walked back over to Charlie.

Taking the bottle out of Charlie's hand, you placed it into the bag. Looking at the pair one more time, you just left without a word. Leaving Charlie and Vaggie in the Kitchen, completely unsure of how to react.

"Hes been getting worse." Vaggie told her girlfriend coarsely, crossing her arms.

"I know, I just don't know what's happening." Charlie told the Moth Demon, the girl was genuinely concerned.

Vaggie let out a displeased humm, reaching down she grabbed the ice pack, looking at it then to her girlfriend.

"I've got an idea." She let out a displeased humm.

It had been a week since the grocery incident, and things seemed to settle, everything going back to normal.

More or less.

Sick of spending all his time Angel had managed to convince you to take him out to lunch.

"So why couldn't we just eat at the hotel again?" You asked him, sliding into the red booth of the very noir dinner Angel had insisted you eat at.

"Cause, the food at the Hotel is too damn... good." Angel told you, wearing a mix of both disgust and confusion across his face. "Besides, they serve the best hamburgers here. I mean for real."

You smiled at the spiders antics, glancing out the window. "That good, huh?" You asked, raising a playful brow.

Angel scoffed, "Hell yeah that good. Honestly, its so good, if I found out they was dragging johnys off's the street to turn em into ground beef, I'd still eat 'ere."

You smiled at him, asking. "Youd really go full cannibal?"

Angel pfft'd, telling you, "Please, ya say that like there ain't a bit of someone mixed in with most food down here. Hell, even Alastor chows down on his fellow demons." He told you, to which you just nodded. Cannibalism was far from rare down here.

"Besides." Angel began with a smirk, "It aint like it would be the first time I'd had some strange mans meat in my mouth."

At that you had a good laugh, Angel quickly joining you.

After calming down, you looked out the window again. You'd been doing it since you'd entered the neighbourhood, this time Angel asked about it.

"Why ya keep lookin over ya shoulder like that?" He asked half playful, half serious. "Scared someone'll see ya with Lil ole' me and you'd lose your street cred?" He finished playfully.

You snorted. "What street cred?" You chuckled, getting a smile from the Spider. "Besides Angie, your like my best friend. I'd never be embarrassed to be seen with you."

Angel paused, face flushed as he genuinely had no idea how to respond to such a comment.

You hadn't seemed to notice, to busy fiddling with your finger.

"Besides, this is my Girlfriends terf. I'd prefer if she didn't see us together." You told him, staring out the window.

"Whys that?" Angel asked, the slightest edge to his voice. You sighed, telling him. "I didn't tell her before hand that I was coming."

"It's one of the rules of our relationship." You turned away, looking out the window. "I have to tell her everything."

There were several moments of silence, the awkward air just hanging between you like cigarette smoke.

That was until the waitress showed up, taking your orders with a resigned attitude. This was her life, and she knew it.

You waited a while, you and Angel exchanging casual banter, all the while Angel was thinking.

Now, Angel wasn't the most sentimental guy, the closest thing to a healthy relationship would probably be his friendship with Cherri, mostly due to the simple fact he hadn't seen his siblings in, shit, years? Maybe a decade?

But you, you were an odd ball.

You joined the hotel seemingly for no good reason. Sure Charlie paid you, and it was a fair wage from what he'd heard, but put simply.

You did too much.

You helped Charlie seemingly any way you could, using your many years of experience helping people around the world, this was priceless information. Hell being essentially one never ending, ever shifting battlefield. Your experience was priceless, and yet you put a price on it, and a fairly humble one at that.

And on top of that, you helped Charlie with all kinds shit, and all that redemption shit.

But the most important part, you actually helped people.

You helped him more thn once.

With his hangovers, or withdrawal. You'd gotten Vaggie off his back more times than he could count, and gotten him out of trouble plenty of more times.

You helped him, the spider opening up to you, and even with all the shit, you still stuck around.

So, he supposed you were his friend. Friendship being a strange sensation to the spider.

The two of you spoke some more, joking and babbling about this or that until the waitress brought you your food.

And too Angel's credit, it was an amazing burger.

It was big and juicy, and you could practically feel your arteries clogging with each bite.

Good times.

You were about halfway through your meal, Angel having just finished a hilarious story, and as was appropriate when listening to a hilarious story, you burst into laughter.

The two of you slowly settled down, but as you did a figure came up besides you.

You turned, expecting to apologise or tell the waitress you didn't need anything, only to freeze.

Angel quickly noticed your frozen gaze, and matching your gaze, he came face to face with a towering Hound looking demon.

Now, while most would likely have to do a double take to realise the Demon before them, was in fact, female.

Years of sex work had ensure Angel could tell a demons gender by a glance.

She stood before you, large chest heaving. "B-Babe!" You glanced at him, before turning back. "Babe this isn't what-"

Before you could finish however, she spoke. "What. Are You Doing. Here?" Her voice was calm, but held a dangerous edge, the tone instantly making Him think of when Val was angry with him.

You were almost shaking now, in a voice uncharacteristically frail, you told her. "We just wanted to get out of the Hotel. Thought we'd have some lunch." You told her, looking down.

Your girlfriend just snorted, before coldly telling you. "Your supposed to inform me of when you do something like that. We have rules."

"I know we do Babe, I just though-" you tried to explain to her, but she just slammed her hand onto the table the force and shock of which caused you to clamp up.

"I DONT GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU THOUGHT!" She snarled, "You broke the fucking rules."

She grabbed you, pulling you to your feet. "Your coming with me. NOW!"

Angel stood up, intent on telling her off, when you turned to him and told him firmly, even through your shaking voice.

"Stay out of this, Angel."

Your girlfriend dragged you out of the dinner, you barely getting on your feet as she pulled you along.

And just as you were stepping out the door, you glanced at him, looking up with an expression that almost said, "Its alright. I understand."

And that just made him feel even worse.

He wanted to follow after, Lord knows he wanted to, but he just couldn't.

He didn't know what to do.

He was scared. And he hated that.

He sat there for, he didn't know for how fucking long, this deep pit of dread bubbling in his stomach.

Eventually he stood up, storming out of the restaurant as he ignored everything.

Getting back to the hotel was a blurr. He marched right up to the bar, Husk began asking him something, but before he could, Angel pushed him out of the way. Snatching up a bottle of something and taking a violent swig, Slumping against the counter.

Flashes of memory ran through his mind like some kinda fucked up picture show.

Images of Valentino dragging him away, abusing and having his way with him. He took another violent swig, desperate for forget, the drink just burning his throat.

The worst parts of the memories, though, were the fuckers that just watched.

Those that stood on the sidelines, watching as he was abused and violated.

And you know the worst part? The very worst fucking part, was knowing he was now one of them.

One of the watchers that just stood there and didn't do shit when someone needed help.

He felt rotten. Feeling worse then he'd ever felt before.

He ignored Husk, desperate to get away, running away to his room.

He slammed the door behind him, collapsing against it before bursting into tears.

He just sat there, feeling like shit, hating himself, a single thought running through his mind over and over.

"I should have done something."

It had been a few days since you'd been taken by your girlfriend, and Angel had become a mess.

He felt like shit. He missed you and the bottle just didn't help.

Didn't stop him from trying though.

He stared down at his phone, slumped against the bar.

He'd tried calling you, tried texting you. But he got nothing in return.

He knew what had likely happened. She'd taken the phone from you, either breaking it, bit more then likely looking through and listening in on your calls and messages.

He knew because that's what Valentino always did.

So he made sure to keep his messages light and vague, asking how you was going, wondering if youd like to invite your GF to see the hotel, making sure his messages were as innocent as possible.

He sat there for a while longer, staring at his phone.

"H-hey Angel. How are you doing?" The surprisingly sombre voice of Charlie asked from his side.

Looking over he gave a snifle, resting his head on one of his arms. "How am I?" He asked. Looking away, he gave a deep sigh, telling her. "I ain't doing well, to be honest."

Charlie sat beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Its alright, Angel. I miss him too. And I'm sure we'll hear from him soon." She finished, clearly trying to chear herself up as much as cheer him up.

Angel was probably gonna say something to sour the mood, but didn't get the chance.

The sound of the Hotels front door swinging open quickly got there attention.

Spinning around, they found you walking in. It was hard to tell it was you, wearing a hoodie, the hood up and covering most of your face.

Angel instantly perked up, jumping to his feet as he approached.

Reaching you halfway, he went to speak.

But just as he went to speak. You just...

Walked past him.

He was stunned silent, unable to do anything as you just walked past, avoiding eye contact.

He stood there for several seconds before his mind did a full reboot, allowing him to act again.

Spinning around, he found you gone, Charlie looking just as shocked and confused as he felt.

With a frown he stormed past her, knowing where you'd be.

His guess turned out to be accurate, as Angel found you right where he expected.

In your room. Packing.

He found you stuffing your things into a backpack you'd set on your bed. "Where have you been?" He asked softly, hoping you'd actually answer.

You just kept packing. That made the spider angry.

Storming into your room, he pinned your bag shut, stopping you from packing anything else. "Nothing?! Your just gonna say nothing?!" He snapped.

There was several moments of silence before you reached for your bag, trying to yank it out from his grip.

Angel put a stop to that quickly, scowl flaring acrossing his features. "So that's it. No 'Hi'. No 'sorry I disappeared'. No 'sorry for ignoring your calls'. Nothing?"

You didn't look at him.

He couldn't even tell what you were thinking, your expression hidden by your hood.

You went to grab your bag again only for him to pull it away, holding it behind him. Your breathing was getting agitated, fists balling

Seeing this Angel's face softened. "(Y/N), please, I know what your going through. Let me help you."

Getting no answer, Angel slowly raised a hand, intending to cup your cheek. Hoping you'd allow him ot remove your hood, allowing your connectionto be reconnected.

But just before he touched you, you smacked his hand away, snarling at him. "I don't need Help, especially from a whore like you!" You scowled, angry eyes peaking out from the hood.

You went to walk past him, Angel managing to snap out of his shock, and just managing to spin around and grabbing your hood.

It pulled off, pulling you back with it as you left, whipping around he got to see you as you stumbled back, landing against a cabinet.

Angel instantly froze.

The left side of your face had a giant bruise across it, right eye straining to open.

Realising he'd seen your face you instantly scrambled, running out the door.

Angel quickly chased after.

You may have been quick, but Angel had longer legs, and caught up with you fast.

You were mid lobby.

You'd barrelled past Charlie, the Princess being comforted by her S/O.

Youd made it halfway across the lobby before Angel caught up, tackling you to the floor.

You began fighting, desperately trying to squirm out of his grasp. But with him having four arms, bringing out his extra pair, it was virtually impossible.

When it was clear you weren't escaping, you began begging.

"Please Angel, just let me go. She's right outside! She's expecting me back!" You practically wailed, desperation increasing by the second.

Pinning you too the floor, Angel growled out. "No! No... I'm not letting you go back to her."

Through frustrated tears, you growled out. "Whats it to you?! Why do you even care?!"

You squirmed even harder, trying one last desperate attempt at escape.

Once that failed, you became furious, hot tears building in your eyes. "What right do you have you bastard!" You growled at him. "You, the whore that runs back to Valentino every chance he gets!"

You glared up at him, Angel stared right back, and suddenly... he just got up, letting you fall back.

This is when Charlie and Vaggie stepped forwards, Charlie crouching besides you.

You were unable to meet there gaze, laid there on the floor. Sitting there, a swarm of emotions razing your insides.

Charlie crouched down, asking you softly. "Are you alright (Y/N)?"

It was an innocent question, but that didn't stop your scowl. And I certainly didn't stop you from spitting out, "No. I'm not. I just want to go back to her."

You just sat there, looking away from her. Looking away from all of them, unable to meet there gazes.

Determined to refuse their pitty.

"That's not happening." Vaggies voice suddenly cut in.

Looking up at her, you found the girl wearing that serious look she always wore when she was set on something.

"Damn straight." Angel added, you looking up at him. You looked back at the ground, "What the Hell do you even care?" You growled out.

Vaggie just cocked a hip, telling you. "You just compared your girlfriend to Valentino, one of the most notoriously abusive demons in Hell. I can't in good conscience, let you go back to her. Especially with the state your face is in."

"And I'm guessing thats her handy work too." She told you dryly, signalling to the left side of your face.

You just sat there for a moment, before looking up at Charlie, then Angel. "I'm guessing your with her?" You asked dryly.

When you only got nods from the pair you looked away, staring back at the ground.

After another few moments, you scrambled to your feet, bolting for the door.

Of course, you didn't make it, reaching the door only to find Alastor standing there, the radio demon just shaking his head, single hand raised.

You stumbled back, breathing steadily getting heavier.

Suddenly you were surrounded, the members of the hotel all standing around you. You suddenly feeling like you were being smothered.

"Its alright (Y/N), were trying to help." Charlie began, sound far too understanding for your liking.

"We just want to help (Y/N). You can trust us." vaggie added, her voice far too genuine.

Why were they so kind. So gentle.

Why did they have to be so fucking good!

You began turning around erratically, desperately looking for a way out, but there was none. You couldn't escape them.

So you stopped.

Looking up, You found Angel just staring down at you. A calm look across his face.

You held back tears, your breathing picking up, staring at him until you slumped to the floor, letting out a strangles sob.

"Please..." you you begged, your voice whinny, desperate. "You don't know what she'll do to me."

Silence hung in the air like smog.

You sat there drawing in fear and sorrow, when suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder.

Looking up, You found the spider looking akin to an Angel.

"Its alright (Y/N). I'm here. I got you." He told you softly, pulling you to his chest.

Feeling his warmth, his arms wrapped around you. Knowing that he actually cared about you.

You didn't even care how his arms pressed against your stinging bruises.

Just having him hold you, his warmth, his care. It broke something in you. You burst into tears.

You clung to the spider, releasing deep guttural sobs, face buried into his fluffy chest.

Charlie quickly jumped into the group hug, squeezing you into a hug.

Vaggie joined next, mostly hugging her S/O, but still trying her best to comfort you.

Alastor just stood on the sideline, sombre at the sight of you in such pain.

Alastor was by no means a good man, and typically revealed in the misery of others.

But you were a good fellow, and he wasn't fond of seeing such a beloved acquaintance suffer so.

You cried an ugly cried for a long time. And slowly, but surely, you began settling down.

After a while you pulled back, wiping your nose.

You felt tired, so, so very tired.

You hadn't slept much in the past few days, stress and fear keeping you up, and when you did sleep. It wasn't very well.

You apologised, to all of them. Apologising for being such a prick.

Angel just shook his head, just pulling you against his chest, telling you it was fine.

You just sat like that for a long while, Angel holding you close, gently comforting you.

He'd stopped rubbing your back upon the first flinch, the spider understood you'd likely been beaten.

Charlie clung tight, the girl really wanting you to know she was there for you. The same went for Vaggie, although the girl had pulled back, keeping a hand on her girlfriends back.

Your little moment of tranquillity was shattered when the door was suddenly smahed off its hinges.

"I gave you 5 Fucking minutes, and you couldn't even do that!" She yelled. "You just can't do anything right can you, you dumbass!"

Hearing this, you froze up. Clamping up and practically shaking.

Without even looking, Alastor summoned his cane, slamming it at against the floor.

A tendril spilled out of a portal, shooting out and grasping your girlfriend.

Angel could tell you wanted to do something, likely feeling you needed to defend her.

Angel put a stop to that right quick, pressing you into his chest.

Alastor spun around, and in a haunting voice told her, "Sssh... cant you see were having a private moment." His voice steadily becoming more filled with radio static.

"Haven't you done enough." He asked, symbols manifesting through the air.

Angel covered your eyes as Alastor gruesomely squeezed the life out of your girlfriend, covering your ears with his lower arms as your GFs bones began to snap and pop out of there sockets.

And suddenly, she disappeared.

Gone without a trace, Alastor just standing there calm and happy.

Angel lowered his arms, letting you pull back after a few moments.

Wiping your nose, you softly asked, "What's next?"

Charlie pulled back, wiping her own eyes, she spoke up. "You stay with us. Your family (Y/N), and we're gonna take care of you."

You looked at her, giving her a little smile before you looked up at Angel, the spider telling you, "Well, I was thinking a shower, maybe a check up... but I like her plan as well."

You smiled, letting out a little chuckle. "Yeah, uh, I'd like that." You finished with a little chuckle, the sound of your laughter instantly lightening the mood.

"Come on then, let's get you cleaned up." He told you, getting up and helping you to your feet.

He gently led you our of the lobby, and just as you reached your room, you turned to him. "Angel?" You asked.

"What's up?" He replied, looking down at you.

After a moment of hesitation, you leaned up and kissed his cheek. "Thank you." You told him softly, a dusting of red across your cheeks.

Angel blushed in turn, before he kept moving, quickly bringing you to his room. Raising a brow, Angel told you, "You need a proper shower, I'll get you some clothes."

You smiled, rolling your eyes, but you still stepped in, turning and telling once more. "Thank you Angel."

Hey Hey, Sorry it's so long, I couldn't put a read more because it was just so damn amazing.

Hope you like it and thanks for checking my work out.