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lomlkenji · 6 months ago

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༊*·˚ half a heart | saul silva

summary : after the mission in aster dell, saul thinks the best thing for you is for him to leave.

warnings : ANGST ANGST ANGST, mentions of stabbing, blood and cuts & signs of panic attack. pls lmk if i missed anything!

word count : 1k

author's note : BYE I SUCK AT SUMMARIES okay so uh this is a bit of an au, after the whole aster dell thing, saul stabs sky's father bla bla bla. this was actually so fun to write might do a part two LMAO i love pain </33 hope yall like this <3

── ⋆⋅☆ main masterlist

"What happened?" you asked, with furrowed eyebrows, and a face full of confusion.

It was a typical day, you were waiting for your fiance to come back from his classified mission. When you heard the door you jumped in excitement but the moment he stepped foot in the house you knew something was wrong.

His eyes had lost their light, he looked so tired, he didn't wear his signature smile that makes butterflies appear in your stomach, he didn't greet you with a kiss and he was uncharacteristically quiet.

His figure was trembling so you quickly made your way to him. You placed a hand on his arm, and the sudden contact made him flinch.

Your heart broke at his reaction. "You okay?" you asked again, "Hey talk to me sweetheart." but he didn't say anything.

The sight of his partner with a sword in his chest haunted his mind and he was so fucking scared if you'd see him as a threat when you know what he did.

His shirt was covered with dirt and grime. He had a few cuts of his face and he smelled like ashes. The bags under his eyes were red, it looked like he was crying. But before you could ask him more questions he stormed towards your guys' bedroom.

It startled you with his sudden movement so you waited a few seconds before following him.

When you got there, he already took out two bags that originally were used for a vacation. Some of his clothes were thrown in the bag and some of them fell onto the floor.

"What are you doing?"

You quietly asked, you were sick of asking questions that were never answered but you needed to keep trying. He started to move to the closet grabbing an arm full of his clothes and stuffing it in the bags.

You were so confused, your mouth was closing and opening, as you felt tears stung at the corner of your eyes. What was he doing?

"I'm talking to you." your tone was stern but you both could hear the shaky-ness of it.

He finally stopped what he was doing and turned around meeting your glossy eyes.

"Can we talk about this first?"

"There's nothing to talk about." he mumbled. His eyes met yours just as fast as it averted to something else in the room.

You scoffed in disbelief, "What the hell does that mean? You waltz in here, pretending like I don't exist, start packing and then you had the audacity to say that 'there's nothing to talk about'? "

Your hands were making weird gestures, trying to get your point across and you finally took a deep breath, calming yourself. "You're not going to leave me right?"

Saul lowered his head, staring at his feet, still not answering your question.

After an awkward long painful silence he finally said, "I can't do this."

“What-“

The sight of him taking off his engagement ring made a lump form in your throat. You can tell his hands were shaking, hesitation on pulling it off but he still did. It made your stomach drop as your breathing became choppy.

“I’m sorry.”

Your sadness replaced itself in anger as you snapped, "You're sorry?! What? I don't even get an explanation? After everything?"

He didn't reply to your question, only choosing to stare at his ring that was placed on the bed. You took a deep breath and aggressively wiped the tears that went down your cheeks.

"I genuinely thought you're my person." you spat.

The countless days where you guys would cuddle up together, talking about kids and buying a house in the countryside. All of the mornings where you would discuss names for your kids that would always end up in a friendly wrestling match because one didn't agree on a name. Plans for a garden wedding.

It was all for nothing.

"You deserve better than me." he mumbled, finally looking into your eyes. His heart broke when he saw the tear that escaped your eye.

"Isn't that for me to decide." you stated in a more softer tone. "Please don't go." you begged. The sniffles that hit his ears makes him want to bring you into his arms, telling you that everything's okay.

But he can’t.

He won’t.

"I have to, you'd be safer." he said, looking directly into your eyes. You could feel the pain reflecting in them, the battle his mind was having and the fondness he still held every time he looked at you.

He looked at you like you hung all the stars and the moons.

"What does that supposed to mean?" you confusedly asked. It didn't make sense.

"I can't risk hurting you."

He knows deep down he never will. He would never in a million years, in his wildest dreams hurt you like that.

"What do you think you're doing right now?"

That hit him like a truck. What was he doing right now? He continued to convince himself that you'd be better off without him. Convincing himself that leaving the person he loves most is a good decision.

You numbly nodded your head, “It’s stupid how I actually thought that you’d stay.”

And with those last words, he left and closed the door, taking half of your heart qith him.

Your knees became week as reality sets, making you drop down onto the floor.

He actually left.

Your fiance left.

Ex-fiance.

How are you going to explain this to your family and friends?

“Oh! He just left with no explanations, breaking my heart and my soul at the same time!”

Sobs wracking your frame, tears coating your cheeks, your vision was blurry and all you felt was endless pain. Your breathing starts to become shallower, and you know you're lacking oxygen. So, you tried to regulate your breathing, pulling your knees to your chest.

Saul didn't leave as soon as the door shut, so he could hear the first sob you let out. But he couldn't take it anymore, so he quickly rushed to his car.

Throwing his bags in the back as he sat down at the driver seat, hot white anger flooded him.

He made you cry.

How could he?

The only thing that made his life brighter. The only thing that kept him going.

He lost it.

He started banging the steering wheel in anger as he let out heart wrenching screams and sobs. The both of you lost half of yourselves that night, and you weren't sure if you're going to get it back.

reblog for a kiss! 💋

#⋆⋅☆ hana’s writing!#fate the winx saga #ftws #saul silva fic #saul silva blurb #saul silva #saul silva x reader #ftws silva #ftws x reader #ftws imagines #ftws fic #fate the winx saga silva

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asahicore · 2 years ago

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iced matcha latte - sjh

part 2 of the coffee mini-series // prompt 70 of the 100 kisses list, an accidental kiss that confuses you both, but only a moment passes before you crash your lips back against each other’s

pairing. coworker!junghwan x fem!reader synopsis. Neither you nor Junghwan have said anything since he confessed to liking you at the end of January. You like the way things are slowly progressing, and anyways, you both know that the other likes you - or at least, that's what you think. Even though he's staying quiet about it, Junghwan might not be as reassured in your feelings for him as you think. genre. spring au, coffee shop au, just lots of fluff, they go on a date and are in love basically, also noona!reader word count. 4.5k a/n. hello lovelies sorry i took a thousand years to upload this second part but hope you guys like it <33 @zreamy cried beta reading so hopefully that means it's good 😣 as always lmk ur thoughts!! will try not to take three months to write the next parts next time lol

spring.

Flowers in bloom. A slight rise in temperatures. That weird in-between season where winter fruit isn’t good anymore but summer fruit isn’t quite ripe yet. Going to school or work when the sun’s already up, and heading back home before it’s gone down. The first rays of bright, warm sun making everyone shed their winter coats and wear lighter jackets instead. Turning down the heating a few notches. Maybe even having a picnic outside.

Where you lived, these were all signs that spring had arrived. They were all punctuated by a general sense of relief that the harsh coldness of winter was over and of anticipation for the even warmer days of summer. But for you and everyone else that worked at the café, as well as your regulars, spring made itself known through yet another sign.

“Six separate people have ordered iced matcha lattes. Six. We opened two hours ago.”

This was how your manager had greeted you as you came in for your shift, a look of worn-out exasperation on his face that you chuckled at. Yeonjun had turned his dislike of iced drinks not only into a personality trait of his but into a feature of the café as well - from early October to late March, no iced drink may be sold in his shop. Every spring, he acted like pouring hot drinks over ice cubes was costing him his life, even though those drinks made up most of the profit of the café during the spring and summer months. People particularly loved your iced matcha lattes.

“It’s a nice drink, Yeonjun. Refreshing,” you shrug, heading to the back to drop your stuff there and put your apron on.

Yeonjun’s still sulking when you come back out. “Milk shouldn’t be consumed with ice,” he almost hisses. You’re thankful for the customer that comes in then and unknowingly puts a stop to this conversation that you’ve had a thousand times before.

You give them an apologetic smile when Yeonjun lets out an audible groan upon hearing their order - an iced matcha latte.

What can he do? It’s spring, after all.

“Y/N, it’s been two months since the guy told you he likes you. How much longer are you gonna make him wait?”

If your manager complains about iced drinks every chance he gets, this is how Jayoon decides to fill the silence as soon as there are no customers during the shifts you share.

“Have you been counting the days, or something?” you say, trying to get her off the subject. You have to fight back a smile, though - the simple mention of Junghwan makes your heart skip a beat.

She’s right, though. It has been two months since Junghwan’s quick confession as he got on the bus, and neither of you have really mentioned it since. But the air between the two of you has changed - if before, you forced yourself to think of him as a friend because you didn’t think he saw you as anything other than that, now, you let all the eye contact and every discreet touch linger and let yourself bask in them.

With the way you react to every little thing he does, you don’t think there’s any way Junghwan doesn’t know you like him back. You’re not even doing it on purpose, you just can’t help but laugh at all of his jokes, funny or not, ruffle his hair (which is very, very soft) when he does something cute (which is often), or keep casting glances his way when you work a shift together.

You like that he’s not pressuring you to give him an answer. Of course, you want to date him, and you have no intention of leading him on, but you just want to cherish those heart-fluttering, innocent moments before things get more serious. You like how it all feels new, how his good morning and good night texts still surprise you twice a day and how your heart still skips a beat when he beams at you. Although, you have a feeling that even if you do get used to it, you won’t get bored of it.

Jayoon rolls her eyes impatiently at you. “Whether I have or not is not the issue here,” she says in a way that makes you think she has. “I have to admit I just don’t really get it. You know he likes you. You like him. He probably knows you like him. Why don’t you guys just date already?”

The volume of her voice increases as she speaks, garnering amused looks from customers in the café, and her frustration at someone else’s love life gets a chuckle out of you too. “You know that two of our regulars have straight up asked me if you guys were together? That means that plenty other people have thought the same, just didn’t ask.”

This fact makes your cheeks heat up. Were you and Junghwan really being that obvious? You couldn’t tell Jayoon that you’d also been asked about Junghwan by regulars that had noticed your recent chumminess - she’d only use it as another argument against you.

“I like the way things are right now, Yoon. It’s nice. We text everyday and hang out or study together when we’re not on the same shift. We’re just… progressing from colleagues to friends, if you will. That takes time,” you explain with a sigh. A customer comes in, and because they’re paying more attention to their phone than to you, Jayoon continues grilling you as you prepare their oat latte.

“But you like each other!” she whisper-yells. “Why can’t you progress from colleagues directly into boyfriend and girlfriend? You already act like it anyway. The guy walks you home, texts you cute shit, and I saw those heart-shaped cookies you gave him for his birthday. How come I never got heart-shaped cookies? Or any shape cookies, for that matter?”

You ignore your friend for a short moment as the customer pays for their drink. When they’ve walked away, you turn to her with another sigh and feign a concerned expression. “Is that what this is about, Yoon? Do you want me to make you cookies?”

“Of course I do, but I’m not letting you change the subject.”

“I swear this is at least the fifth time we’ve had this conversation. I’m telling you, it’ll happen naturally. I don’t want to force anything.”

“But aren’t you scared your spark will fizzle out?” she asks with a pout.

You think for a second. Every time you see Junghwan, your feelings for him grow. He manages to make you feel all giddy inside but wipe all your worries away at once. So, no, you don’t think your spark will fizzle out - you think it will grow slowly but steadily until it becomes warm and welcoming like a fireplace fire, the kind you want to bundle up in front of and feel the flames of on your face during cold winter nights.

As the pleasant thought crosses your mind, Junghwan enters the café, big brown eyes finding you immediately and lips coming up in that boyish grin of his you love so much. You return his smile, then look back at Jayoon. “No, I’m not,” you reply, smiling at her too. She shrugs, and you hope this was the last time she branched the topic.

You turn back to Junghwan as he crosses his arms over the counter, bending down on his forearms so that he’s the one looking up at you. The two of you probably look like idiots, smiling at each other like you’ve just shared amazing news, when all you’re happy about is simply seeing the other. “Your usual?” you ask, and he nods.

You get to work on his latte - two shots of espresso and one pump of vanilla syrup - then ask him what he’s doing here, since he’s not working today.

“I didn’t want to go to the library to study. I’m so tired, I’m probably just going to stare at my computer screen for a couple hours then call it a day. Being around people who are hell-bent on getting their essays done will just stress me out,” he explains with a sigh.

You chuckle. “Yeah, I get that. Students working to make a deadline are some of the scariest people I’ve ever seen. You don’t need that kind of bad energy.”

As you start on your latte art (he likes it when you make a bear, so you’ve perfected your bear-shaped milk foam drawing over the past weeks), another smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “Plus, I wanted to see you.”

Junghwan always says things like this, and yet, it manages to make your brain stop working every single time. Your hand freezes and the hot milk continues pouring into the cup, effectively ruining the bear’s face.

Jayoon’s loud groan snaps you out of your daze. She then says something about not needing your kind of bad energy and heads to the back storage. You laugh at your friend’s dramatic antics, but when you lock eyes with Junghwan, you grow shy again, finding sudden interest in the marble countertop. You vaguely notice Junghwan’s smile only getting bigger at your reaction.

“You look really pretty today, noona,” he says, voice dropping in volume so that only you can hear him. You purse your lips together, making it obvious that you’re trying to suppress a smile, but you can’t help letting out a small giggle at the compliment anyway.

“Go study,” you say, handing him his drink then shooing him off with a smile and a tilt of your head. Three teenage girls have come in, and you don’t want Junghwan’s presence messing with your concentration. They look like the type who won’t say anything even if you completely mess up their order, but you’d still rather get it right.

“Yes, ma’am,” Junghwan replies, standing up straight and picking up his drink. Your eyes follow his movements, and you’d be lying if you said his height and the inches he has over you didn’t make your heart flutter.

It’s a slow afternoon, and Jayoon takes over for you once you’re done with the girls’ drinks (two vanilla fraps and one iced matcha latte - Yeonjun would throw a fit if he was there), so that you can go sit with Junghwan until the usual five p.m. rush. He complains that you’re distracting him, but even when you stop talking and busy yourself with your phone, he’s the one who breaks the silence or tries to get your attention again. You feign exasperation but he’s too adorable for you to pretend for long - all it takes is a smile from him and you simply melt.

“Noona?” he calls out suddenly after ten minutes of studying. You look up and hum, waiting for him to go on. His smile makes its way back to his lips before he speaks again, and you mirror it almost unconsciously. “Do you wanna do something together when your shift is over?”

Your grin widens, and you rest your forearms on the table, leaning in closer to him in a conspiratory-like manner. “What do you have in mind?” you whisper.

He imitates your position, and even though the sudden proximity takes you aback, you try not to let it show on your face. The way his smile turns into a slight smirk when he notices your eyes quickly darting to his lips doesn’t help you in the slightest. “Get take-out somewhere and eat at a park? The weather’s nice enough.”

Your face lights up even more at the idea. “Sound good?” Junghwan asks, seemingly relieved at your excitement.

“Sounds perfect,” you reply with a giggle, leaning in close enough to bump your forehead against his before sitting back in your seat. The small action takes the both of you by surprise, but if Junghwan’s growing blush is anything to go by, it’s a good kind of surprise.

Then, Jayoon calls you for help, so you send Junghwan an apologetic smile, to which he responds with an understanding nod of his head. For the better part of an hour, the constant stream of customers keeps you occupied, but the last quiet minutes until the end of your shift seem to drag on and on. As soon as the clock strikes six p.m., you hurry to the backroom and take off your apron, looking at yourself in the mirror to fix your hair before coming back out.

Usually, you’d stay an extra hour to keep Jayoon company and help her close the store. For once, you’re glad that your friend is such a fervent supporter of your and Junghwan’s relationship, so she lets you go easily - actually, she’d been telling you to just go for the past ten minutes.

Junghwan is already waiting for you outside when you leave the café. The sunlight of the late afternoon turns his dark eyes a golden color and reflects against his hair. You make sure to commit the sight of him like this, beaming as he holds out his hand for you to take, to memory. You gladly take his hand, heart swelling at the feeling of your fingers interlacing for the first time, and yet so naturally. He leads the way and tells you about the different spots you can pick up food at. You decide on a fried chicken place nearby that’s only a two-minute walk away from a nice park. Both of your stomachs are growling, so something you can eat quickly is the best.

Ever the gentleman, Junghwan insists on paying for your food. Once at the park, you find one of the last unoccupied patches of sunny grass and set camp there. Junghwan lays a blanket down, and with a small blush, admits to having thought of this before getting to the café. “I was just hoping you’d say yes.”

You tease him for about a minute, until his bright red face and the hunger in your stomach make you relent. You both dig in, letting out satisfied hums at the crunchiness of the chicken. He seems to go for all the pieces with bones, and although you like those too, the sight of him happily eating them is enough for you to gladly accept all the boneless ones.

Usually, people are quiet when they eat, and start talking afterwards; but for some reason, you and Junghwan are the opposite. You talk so much as you eat that it takes you over an hour to finish your food, and by the time you’re done, the sun has started making its slow descent in the sky.

These are your favorite moments with him - laughing as you share silly childhood stories and tell each other about the many stupid things your friends have done, or getting to know the other better as you listen to what’s been weighing on their mind lately. You just love hearing his voice and talking to him, no matter the topic. You also like pretending to be mad at him when he steals some of your fries, even though he has a lot of his left - if you pout hard enough, he’ll feed you to make up for his theft.

Either a food coma hits the both of you at the same time, or you’ve both decided to admire the sunset peacefully, but a comfortable silence falls over you.

His legs had been stretched out in front of him, upper body resting on his palms, but after some time, he decides to lie down completely, hands coming up behind his head in a makeshift pillow. You stay in your cross-legged position and try not to pay him too much attention, but the thought of snuggling up to him and using his body warmth to protect yourself from the growing cold is pervasive in your head. For a minute, you’re so caught up in the idea of being close to him, of being able to touch his hair and bury your head in the crook of his neck, that when he touches your hand, you jump back in surprise. This makes him laugh, but you feel too much like you’ve been caught red-handed to smile too - you barely even register as he intertwines your hands together and brings them to his chest, right atop his heart.

“What were you thinking about?” he asks. As if intent on betraying your thoughts, your eyes swipe over his upper body before you can stop them. You look away, hoping he doesn’t notice the flustered look on your face, the slight crease of your eyebrows.

“Nothing,” you huff in reply.

“Are you sure?” he insists, giving your hand a slight tug, and another one when you don’t react. “Wanna know what I’m thinking about then?”

When you look back at him, a playful smile is dancing on his lips. “What?” you ask, trying to keep a disinterested tone, even though you’re hoping he’ll have the same thing on his mind as you.

His smile widens. “Come here,” he whispers, releasing your hand to reach out to you. A sort of relief washes over your body as you let yourself lie down against him, head resting on his bicep and hand circling his middle. He’s kept one of his hands under his head to hold it up, but the other one rests on your shoulder, fingers sometimes trailing up and down your arm. You hope that he assumes the shivers that rake through your body aren’t due to his actions but to the chilliness in the early evening air.

Indeed, after some time, he sits up for a second to get his jacket out of his bag. “You must be cold,” he says with what sounds like genuine worry in his voice as he places the denim over your body like a blanket before returning to his lying position. He brings you closer to him, and your head shifts from resting on his arm to his shoulder. You just need to turn your head to brush your nose against his neck and breathe in the warm scent of his skin. Instead, you lift your head slightly to admire his face in the orange glow of the last minutes of sunset.

His eyes are closed and he has a peaceful smile on his lips. You’re suddenly overcome with affection for him - all you can think is that you want to keep seeing his smile, and you want to keep being the reason behind it, for as long as possible. You’re also grateful for all the moments spent together, for all the times he’s made you laugh or done something in the hopes it’ll make you happy, for his patience and his understanding.

You’re not thinking much, more letting your body do what it’s been longing to do when you bend down to press your lips against his cheek.

“You know-”

Whatever he was about to say is stopped by your lips against his, and you both lean back immediately with wide eyes. You’re not crazy, right? You had been aiming for his cheek, but the gods of bad (or perfect) timing had decided he should turn his head to look at you and speak just at that moment.

After the initial shock has subsided, you both burst into giggles. Even though embarrassment makes heat rise to your cheeks, you’re glad that Junghwan doesn’t seem to mind the incident, just lightly pinches your shoulder and continues laughing. You bury your head in his shoulder to hide your face from him.

“Well, that wasn’t how I was expecting our first kiss to go, but I’ll take it, too.”

The playfulness in his tone tugs at something in you, and your insides twist at the thought of him thinking of kissing you, much like you had over the past couple of months. You force your shyness away and look back up at him, a similar smile to his playing on your lips.

“Oh yeah? How did you think it would go?”

His eyebrows raise at your uncharacteristic forwardness, but you can tell that he likes it. His eyes drift down to your lips and stay there as he speaks, and his voice is so low, you almost don’t hear it. It makes you feel like it’s really just you and Junghwan in the whole park. “Should I just show you?”

“I think you should,” you reply, voice just as low as his.

So he does. He lifts his head to find your lips with his, on purpose, this time. The kiss is slow and tentative as you focus on finding your rhythm together, but it’s perfect. It makes you feel all fuzzy at the edges, makes you feel like your fingers are filled with electricity. As your lips move against each other, settling into a nice, comfortable pace, you can’t help but smile. Now more than ever, you’re glad the two of you hadn’t rushed into anything, because every single moment that has led up to this has been worth it and makes this moment even better. Your noses bump into each other, and you’re not sure where to place your hands, and you’re both so nervous you sometimes have to stop to let some giggles out, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Everything is just right. The last warm sun rays and the slight breeze picking up, the soft blanket underneath you, the chatter in the park, the boy who has stopped kissing you only to leave quick pecks all over your cheeks, nose and forehead as he hugs you close to him. He finds your lips once more, pecks them once, then a second time before kissing you properly again. You’re not in his head, but it’s like he’d tried to control himself when you started kissing, but now the nerves and excitement and giddiness have caught up to him and he can’t help but shower you with affection. You remember your hands and bring them up under his head so that you can rake your fingers through the soft locks of his hair. That seems to calm him down instantly - he hums against your lips and you fall back into your previous, slower rhythm. You can’t help but laugh at this, pulling away slightly to look at him. His eyes are filled with adoration, and his expression is nothing but bliss.

You peck his lips one last time before laying back down next to him to take a breather. He whines at the loss of your warmth and presses a kiss to your forehead, then to the top of your head, nuzzling his face against your hair. After a few quiet moments, you remember he’d try to say something before your happy accident, so you ask him about it.

“Oh, that…” he starts, but says nothing more. You look back up at him, even more curious now.

“That?” you echo. His eyes dart all over your face as if trying to commit every millimeter of it to memory and a smile grows on his face.

“Yeah… I was gonna ask if you, um, if you remembered what I said that day at the bus stop.”

How could you have forgotten? “You mean, as you got into the bus and gave me zero time to say anything in return?”

His cheeks flush slightly but he keeps on grinning. “Yeah, that. I didn’t wanna say anything, but you also haven’t mentioned it, so I was getting a bit worried…”

Even though he’s smiling, his words alarm you. Had Jayoon been right? Maybe, all along, you were sure you were being clear, but Junghwan had no idea what you were thinking.

“I’m sorry, Hwan. I was sure I was making it obvious.”

“Making what obvious?”

How did he not know? “That I like you, too.”

His eyes light up at your words. He shoots up, almost knocking his head against yours in the process, but is too excited to notice it. You sit up too, his jacket falling off of your shoulders as you do. He looks at you like a kid whose parents just told him they were going to Disneyland. “You do?!”

You giggle, pushing away some hair that had fallen in his eyes. “Of course I do.”

He pulls into a hug so tight, you can barely breathe. This boy really needs to learn to assess his own strength. “This is the best day of my life,” he says, making you laugh again. You wrap your arms around his middle, bunching up some of the fabric of his t-shirt in your hands.

“Did you really not know?” you ask.

“Well, I thought you might. Or at least, I really hoped so. But I wasn’t a hundred percent sure…”

“I’m sorry,” you repeat, but he stops you quickly.

“Don’t be.”

“But I am.” You pull back to look at him but keep your hands where they are. “I just… I really liked the way things were going.” You’d never been in a serious relationship before, never found someone that you really wanted to take that step further with. But now that you had that someone, you realized you had no idea how to take things from here.

His smile softens. “Nothing has to change. I like the way things are going, too.” He takes a breath here, as if trying to steady himself before saying what he wants to say next. “I just want to be able to call you my girlfriend at the same time.”

It takes you a second to process his words, but when you do, you smile so hard, your cheeks start to hurt. Was it that easy this entire time? Just say, hey, let’s be boyfriend and girlfriend now, and everything could go on as it had been before?

“Your girlfriend?” you echo, half to make sure and half to tease him.

He nods fervently. “Mh-hm.”

You press a chaste peck to his lips. When you pull back, he’s kept his eyes closed, as if savoring the moment. “I’d love that, Hwan.”

He opens his eyes as his smile gets impossibly wider, and engulfs you in a tight hug once more. He holds your face in his hands as he kisses your cheek, then the top of your head. You think you hear him mumble “my girl” against your hair, but the sound of your giggles is louder than his muffled voice.

The two of you stay at the park until almost everyone has left, chased away by the cold, chatting and holding onto each other for warmth. As always, Junghwan walks you home, but this time, he doesn’t let you walk through your door before getting one last kiss or two. You only break away when the upstairs neighbor has to awkwardly clear his throat to be let through.

Junghwan texts you not even a minute after you’ve exchanged goodbyes to thank you for the amazing afternoon. You reply immediately, and the two of you text the night away, until your phone screen starts to hurt your eyes in the darkness of your room and you really need to start sleeping.

Tomorrow, you’re doing the closing shift together - you already know that it’ll feel like an eternity, waiting most of the day until you see him again. But you know you will, and that’s all that matters. So you fall asleep with your phone on your heart and a smile on your face.

permanent taglist: @zreamy @sunghoonmybeloved @lalalalawon @sd211 @w3bqrl @raikea10 @wntrnghts @moonlighthoon @4imhry @rikisly @loves0ft @iamliacamila @theboingsuckerasseater9000 (ask to be removed/added!)

series taglist: @ineedsomezzz

treasure taglist: @mosviqu

#treasure x reader #treasure fluff #treasure scenarios #yg treasure #treasure imagines #so junghwan #junghwan x reader #junghwan fluff #junghwan scenarios #junghwan imagines

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l0ve-bug-m1les · 2 years ago

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Spider-Band With a S/o Who Hyperfixates on Things Hard

Miles Morales, Hobie Brown, Gwen Stacy, and Pavitr Prabhakar (separate) x Gn!Reader

Warnings: None! (Except my attempt at British talking—)

Summary: Really what the title says—

A/n: This is actually an idea i had when i first fell into the spider verse fandom but didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. Glad ya’ll picked this one! Enjoy!! Also lmk if any of ya’ll wanna be on a tag list!! I know i don’t write all that much but still—

Miles Morales 🌻🎧🌻

Bby is here for it

Always listening to what you have to say and never complaining

I have a feeling he’d be just as excited as you even if he’s got no clue what you’re talking about

He’d try to get into your interests with you no matter how outlandish they may seem

(I mean he’s basically a spider what’s so weird about fnaf lore—)

Definitely draws you things based off of the subject

“You said they were your favorite, right?”

Is always sending you memes and funny videos about your interest

Asks you for updates on your interest if it’s a series

Holds you when something bad happens and you’re sad

“Shh, shh…Hey, at least they existed, right?—Oh, no that made it worse—“

Going back to rambles, he’s always listening but maybe not always looking at you

But trust me

That boy could recite what you say perfectly

He just likes to listen while he works or draws

Has definitely made a mural of you and him in the world together (used it as a date spot. It’s true, he told me)

Overall

20/10 boyfriend

(I mean they all are but like—)

Hobie Brown 🎸⚡️🎸

Will spend hours learning songs related to your interest

But then he’s like

“What? Oh, i been knowin’ this song, luv. What’re ya on about?”

Say for instance, you dive deep into an artist or band

Obviously, Hobie’s gonna ask you about them

But would never ask you for your favorite songs because he’s “Too busy writing his own”

So he just pays really close attention to the songs you talk the most about

(As i previously stated, he learns them all and plays it off)

When you figure it out he’s just like:

“Took ya long enough, luv”

He also listens to your rants about whatever it is (much like Miles and everyone else here but shhh)

But here’s why he stands out

This man can keep up

He can and will remember all about it, and basically know about much as you do

Steals things from stores that are from the series or whatever it is

“Hobie, how’d you get this?” “It was on display and i knew you’d love it.” “Wow! I thought you didn’t buy things from brands..” “…” “You stole it…”

You’re too busy loving whatever it is to stay mad

(But we all knew you weren’t mad)

If you think your interest is cringey then you’re WRONG

“But it’s for kids—“ “And? So what?” “Well…uhm….hm.” “Yeah. Thought so. Now keep goin’, I’m invested.”

(But also in general, bby. Love what you love and come to me if anyone says it “weird” or “cringey”. I’ll beat them up bestie<33)

All in all, a king<33

Gwen Stacy 🩰🥁🩰

I’m gonna be honest

She is lost

Even if you go over things twenty times she still won’t get it

And that’s okay!

She takes notes and tries to keep up

Definitely proud of herself when she gets a detail right

“And then—“ “Wait, wait. Let me guess…He…he burned the pizzeria down, right” “Uhm—yeah, actually!” “*insert proud face*”

(Woah look at the trans flag colors^^^)

Definitely binge watches or reads your interest and learns as much as she can

She keeps a notebook full of her notes that she refers back to whenever you two are on call

She played it off as writing down some notes for school

But one day, she asked you to grab her suit from inside her drum set, and you found the notebook

It caught your eye because it had the name of your interest on it and you were like:

“Hey, Gwen? What’s this?” You showed her the notebook

I wish you could see my vision

When i tell you Gwen stood there for a good minute

I mean she stood there for several

Anywho

She just admitted to it and was all red and fidgety

Since this is her world, she was cast in mostly pink and red hues and the space around her fluttered yellow

You end up going through it with her, and talk about your favorite bits

Overall? She deserves several gold stars and cookies

Pavitr Prabhakar 🍵☀️🍵

Bby is here for it

Whenever you get excited he’s excited

When you’re on the verge of tears he’s already crying

He is your favorite character’s number one supporter

He’s always going on and on with you about your interests

Because unlike the others, he manages to actually get into whatever it is you’re talking about and not just keep up

It’s honestly a skill of his

I feel like Pav also has special interests that he dives deep into

Deep deep

Same as you so you two get along well :D

He’s always looking for the newest content and sending it to you always

“Hey! They said the next episode would be released next Tuesday!! :DDD” “There’s a new theory for the last volume!”

It’d be cute if that’s how you met and became friends

You spend sleepovers diving into your shared and separate interests with eachother

You know what’d be funny?

If he also info dumps onto the villains he fights

Hear me out

Pav tying up a villain who tried to rob a place and just going

“Yeah, so me and my partner have a theory for why—“

And the villain is just like

Stfu??????

But they’d never say that because it’s Spider-Man

All in all, your number one hype man and best friend :]

———————————-

YA’LL I DID IT :DD

#i literally just sat down #opened tumblr #and boom #ya’ll #spider man: across the spider verse #miles morales #hobie brown #across the spiderverse #headcanon #pavitr prabhakar #gwen stacy #gn reader #Love ya’ll<333 #spider-man across the spiderverse x reader #miles morales x reader #hobie brown x reader #pavitr prabhakar x reader #gwen stacy x reader

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rosey-chaos · 1 year ago

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Okay so I play volleyball and I have played for 3 years now and I just lost miserably in a game and suddenly got the idea of writing about the greasers on a volleyball team because there's 7 of them and that's perfect for at least one sub and I'm a total genius.

Okay so at my school we just have random numbers for our jerseys so I feel like they would too because my school is a public school and I'm assuming it's like that for most public schools considering every team we Olay is the same

Dallas would really want to be number 1 but darry would obviously have it instead.

Dallas would grumble and complain but would settle for number 17.

Johnny would be 33

Ponyboy would be 11

Sodapop would be 50

Steve would be 46

And two-bit would immediately choose 69 because for some reason the school thought it'd be a good idea to have a jersey with that number.

Of course, to everybody's dismay, the boys do not wear spandex like girls do. They just wear basketball shorts that match the jerseys.

I can totally see oneof those fuckers showing up to practice in short shorts or spandex just to be funny

Oh I should probably explain volleyball for those who haven't ever played!

So there's 6 people on the court at a time and you rotate every time you gain a point for the opposing team losinga point. There's two rows or 3 people, one front and one back. There's 6 positions which are simply numbers. You can set, bump, spike, and serve the ball but you can't lift or carry it. Your not aloud to touch the net either or go on the other side of the court. It's pretty simple but I'm horrible at explaining so I suggest looking up the rules

Ponyboy can barely get a serve over the net underhand BUT he's really good at setting the ball for Dallas who spikes it down so hard the other team stares back in fear.

Darry has a scary ass overhand serve that always hits very close to the back line which causes him to score tons of aces for the boys until he fucks up and serves it into the net. He's also really good at literally everything and he's a ball hog but we still love him anyway <3

Steve is loud and always cheering and his sportsmanship is actually terrible.

He'll fuck up a serve or something and he'll scream "SHIT" and the coach (Mr curtis if he was still alive) would sub him out almost immediately for sodapop or Johnny.

Sodapop acts so sweet and his sportsmanship is really good and he's great at digging the balls in the back row and popping them up for everybody else. When they lose he's all cheery and has the "well get em next time don't worry it was a good game!" Attitude but that boy is actually so angry and upset and is secretly wishing death upon the opposing team.

He rants to Steve about it after games all the time.

Johnny, despite being a scrawny little guy, is actually so intimidating in games. He takes it so seriously and his overhand is TERRIFYING. He's not the same level as darry but he does surprise the opposing teams a ton because who knew this scrawny kid could hit that ball so hard?

Two-Bit takes nothing seriously and he's always messing up to make people laugh. He always cheers the boys on from the sidelines (he's rarely ever in the game because the boys really really want to try and win) and he's so loud too. He's like a supportive mom level loud and he will sometimes argue with the ref or the lines people because those motherfuckers call out when the ball is OBVIOUSLY IN.

I'm not sure what else to write but lmk if i should do more???

#the outsiders #the outsiders 1983 #greaser #books #1980s movies #se hinton #dallas winston #johnny cade #steve randle #ponyboy curtis #darry curtis #sodapop curtis #two bit mathews #volleyball #60s 70s 80s 90s #60s

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doodleybugg · 3 years ago

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🎁 ~ Camilo Madrigal X royalty!nervous!masc!reader

i shall reveal myself when it’s there I promise I’m a cool dude.

it’s okay if u can’t write it

i LOVE this idea AAA i hope i can do it justice! <33 also let's just pretend y/n and Camilo were writing letters to each other like penpals, oki? nobody knows how, but that's where the relationship starts

summary: what happens when the boy Camilo's fallen head-over-heels for is actually royalty, or when the royal family is visiting their town?

tags: my writing, friends to lovers, slight cussing, mentions to making out, i'll be trying to write about royal legacies and shit without any actual clue what i'm doing so bear with me 😭, lmk if i missed any and as always enjoy!

CAMILO’S POV

Nothing. It's been nothing for a week now. No letters, nothing. I was worried. Just when I thought we were getting closer, Y/N decides to ghost me? Why? Was it something I said? Or had Y/N realized that he shouldn't be talking with someone as weird as me? Either way, this sucked. I mostly stayed in my room, every knock at the door left me running to see if there was a letter addressed with my name. But there never was. I was in his room now, writing my eleventh, no, twelfth letter to Y/N. Was I getting too annoying? Maybe that was it? As this thought came to mind, I ripped the letter in half, threw it in the trash can, and leaned back in my chair, mind blank, eyes rolling back in my head like they always did when I was stressed. Dolores hated when I did that, said the sound was disturbing. A knock sounded at the door downstairs, this time I didn't respond. Just left my desk and went to sit on my bed. Well, less sit, more-so curl up in my blanket and mope. Gasps and rushed footsteps could be heard from downstairs, then a knock at my's door, too rough to be Dolores but too gentle to be Pepa. The door creaked open, and I rolled over to scowl at whoever dare enter this den. Abuela, much to my surprise, stood in the doorway, looking very flushed, probably from running up the stairs. Her eyebrows furrowed, silently motioning for me to follow her, which I did, after a groan, slipping on my ruana on my way out the door.

The family was led outside to the breakfast table, where three other people sat already. 2 adults, I assumed they were married, and one boy that looked around my age, who's gaze kept fluttering around the room, resting on my face only a second longer than anyone else's. Everyone was sat down hurriedly, Luisa needed to bring 3 more chairs, and introductions were passed down the table. Abuela introduced the Madrigal's first, pointing to everyone in turn from her seat, then mentioning for the lady next to her to speak.

"Well, I'm sorry to bring you all here on such short notice" Pepa nodded. "My name is Ms. Y/L/N, this is my husband, and my son Y/N. We've traveled quite a lon-"

But I wasn't listening. Y/N? Was that what she said? I must be hearing things. Dolores looked wide eyed to Y/N, then to me, a small nod of her head assuring me that she knew what was going on, and that it was, in fact, the same person.

My mind was racing. And you could tell Y/N’s was too. The boy fiddled with his fingers, eyes still exploring his surroundings, and if you looked closely enough you could tell his jaw was tensed.

Y/N was quite obviously a quiet person, only talked when directly spoken too, and barely even picked at the food on his plate. I was the opposite, I took this awkward breakfast as an to, well, be myself. Y/N was seated next to his mom, two chairs down from Camilo, but I still needed to make his presence known. I leaned back in his chair, back, back, back, bang.

And I was on the ground, curls slewn about where my head landed, ruana messily over the top half of my body. Everyone stood up to check if I was okay, which I was, just an ache at the small of my back. As everyone got settled back into their seats, and I nodded openly to Y/N, to which the boy murmured to himself and turned away quickly, back to stabbing his food with his fork.

Y/N’S POV

That damn boy. He’s so confident, it’s silly how I’m both annoyed yet intrigued. Camilo, his name was? Odd. I thought I knew someone by tha-...

Oh. Oh shit. Oh shit shit shit shit shit.

Camilo.

Camilo? Yep, he was introduced as Camilo.

Oh god.

A bang interrupted my thoughts, and I look quickly to where the sound came from. There he was. On the floor, his legs sticking out from his torso like a dead spider. He recovered from his fall quickly though, dismissed everyone’s worried murmurs with a smile and let them sit back in their respective seats. As he stood back up and dusted off his ruana, his eyes landed on my face. My eyes widened in response as he smirked, confident and beaming, I needed to turn away before his honey-coloured eyes could pick up the blush on my face. My fork finallly proved useful for the first time this morning as I shoved all my attention into stabbing the food on my plate, eyes nervously glued to the cloth on the table as breakfast continued.

2 hours later, CAMILO’S POV

The door shut behind me almost sharply, and I heard Dolores groan from downstairs, but my mind was preoccupied. Y/N. He seemed so much more nervous in real life than he did over the letters. All I did was smile? A small voice, so quiet I almost missed it, was sounding at the door, and Y/N’s figure jumped back when I opened it, sheepish expression on their face.

“Camilo?” the boy said quietly.

“Hey”

“I’m sorry- about, yknow”

“Don’t worry, it’s cool! Uh.. Come in?” I asked, smile clear on my face as I led him into my room, both of us sitting on the bed. “What’s up? I thought your parents were leaving?”

“Oh! Yeah, uh, they wanted me to stay, something about it being important our families are connected? I don’t- I don’t know, it’s all dumb. I din’t even know anyone here- it’s just”

“You know me?”

I could see Y/N's face light up at my words, a small smile playing gently at his lips as he turned to look at me, quaint and content, my hand unintentionally moving to cradle his, not that he flinched back or anything. Not this time.

"OH! I just realized, that's probably why you weren't responding!!" I shouted abruptly, epiphany clear on my face.

"Huh?"

"I sent so many letters, I just thought you were ignoring me! uGh this feels so much better"

"Camilo!! I'm sorry" the boy chuckled, hair falling into his eyes. "We were in the road for a week, I didn't even think!"

"Eh, it's okay. You're here, so"

And another smile lit his face, so blinding my eyes closed as I leaned in, pressing my lips to his.

acK I'm sorry it took so long it's not even that good so

#camilo #camilo encanto #camilo fanfic #camilo fluff #camilo headcanons #camilo imagine #camilo madrigal #camilo my beloved #camilo supremacy #camilo x reader #camilo x you #encanto camilo #camilo x male reader #camilo angst #madrigal

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mortedeveles · 4 years ago

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Bookworm.

SUMMARY: You’re lucky enough to meet your favorite Pro Hero Red Riot at your local libraries a few times and you slowly begin to pin after him but you’re not a fool- he’s a Pro Hero and you’re a simpleton civilian, nothing could ever happen- which is why you decide to go on a blind date. You’re stuck in a loud and noisy club, and Kirishima’s the last person you expect to see there, sliding into the stool that was once your date’s.

PAIRING: ProHero!Kirishima Eijirou x fem!reader

THEME/GENRE: romance, pining? [ONE-SHOT]

TW: mentions of drugs, cursing and attempted physical and sexual assault.

A/N: I wrote this oneshot with this prompt!

- “Hey,” A says, sliding over on the bar stools to get B’s attention. “Don’t drink that. I think your date’s trying to drug you.”

this is my first Kiri fanfic! lmk what you think! if you enjoyed, please leave a like, reblog, follow and/or comment! i really appreciate the support! fb is always welcomed ^^

as for my mha anonnie, i’ll start working on your request! afterwards i’ll be focusing on finishing the bonuses of model for me, then resume with ‘a letter to my love’! i also have a secret project coming up <33

‘’In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.’’

You bite your lip in excitement as you flip through the pages of the book, feeling your heart soar at Mr. Darcy's words. However, your peaceful moment was quickly interrupted by a loud voice. You sigh in annoyance and strain your ears in a pitiful attempt to block out the bothersome voice, but it only gets louder.

''Where is it? Darn it...'' Slowly, you raise your gaze from the book. You spot a guy in the aisle in front of you, that you managed to see through the empty spots of the bookshelf and once you recognize the guy- you freeze.

It's Red Riot. One of the top Pro Heroes and your favorite Hero. He's the manliest hero in history! You make sure to inhale and exhale shakily before you pass out from shock.

You pinch your arm to make sure you aren’t dreaming. Red Riot, a top Pro Hero, fussing in the same library as you?! A small sting of pain confirms your suspicions- it’s reality.

If it wasn't for his red spiky hair and teeth, you wouldn't have recognized him. Slowly, you take a deep breath and walk into the aisle he's currently standing in. A smile breaks on your lips when you see him searching through several books, fussing and muttering under his breath.

''H-Hey,'' your voice is low and you stutter more than you'd like, but it's loud enough for him to hear. He immediately raises his head and smiles brightly at you.

''Hi there!'' the toothy grin on his face makes your cheeks warm up.

''I, it looks like you're struggling with something. I don't work here but,'' your eyes dart to his outfit. He's wearing a black hoodie of Ground Zero and a pair of black sweatpants with red sneakers. It's simple but looks irresistibly good on him. You quickly avert your gaze.

''I thought you could use some help. Is there anything you're looking for?'' your grip on the book tightens.

His face brightens- more than possible, you believe- and he nods.

''Thanks! Yeah, I'm looking for a book called Pride and Prejudice?'' your eyes widen.

''Oh,'' you say. It's the book that you're holding.

Kirishima seems like an eager reader- who are you to deny him the book? You've read it twice, it won't harm you to share it for once.

''Here you go,'' you raise the book with a smile.

Kirishima raises an eyebrow. He doesn't accept the book and you cough awkwardly. You hadn't even mentioned which book it was.

''Oh! I'm sorry for not explaining earlier,'' you feel like an idiot as your face warms up. ''I had the last copy of Pride and Prejudice.'' The Pro Hero's face immediately lights up and he takes the copy in his hand. His finger brush against yours and the touch makes you slightly shiver. Not in disgust nor pleasure but...something else. Though short-lived, it’s a pleasant feeling that makes your heart speed up.

You quickly retracted your hands with a strained smile.

''Wow!" he stares at you and then at the book with awe. ''Thank you so much! That's so manly of you!'' your heart flutters at the compliment. ''Are you sure you don't want it?''

You're quick to shake your head with a polite smile. ''No, it's fine! I've already read that book two times...'' you laugh awkwardly and much to your surprise, Kirishima laughs with you. His laugh isn't forced and sounds like music to your ears- masculine but so cheerful that it makes your body relax.

''Okay then,'' he smiles toothily. ''Thanks um....,'' you quickly realize that he's asking for your name.

''Y/N!'' you make sure that your voice is clear and confident. ''I'm Y/N L/N. It's a pleasure to see you around, Mr. Red Riot,'' you cringe at the odd honorific but Kirishima smiles warmly.

''You can call me Kirishima,'' he walks past you and squeezes his hand on your shoulder.

''It's a pleasure to meet you, L/N! See you soon.'' he shoots you one last toothy grin before pulling up his hoodie and walking away from you.

You're speechless- you've just had a proper conversation with your favorite Pro Hero- and barely manage to wave in response.

The next week, you were back at the library. You had been a bookworm since a child and while some found solace in friendship and social gatherings, you found peace and solace in books.

This time, you unconsciously made sure to not look like a homeless like you usually do- and wore a pair of skinny jeans, a loose t-shirt, and a pair of vans.

A part of you said that it was in case you bumped into Kirishima again, but those were just silly fantasies. He was a busy Pro Hero, defending the citizens of Japan. What chances did you have of bumping into him again at the same library?

Turns out that you had every chance in the world since you spotted him slouched in a chair, a new book in his hands. You smile warmly at the sight of him. His red hair makes him even more noticeable but thankfully, the area he's in is pretty much empty so no one has noticed the Pro Hero.

''Hello, Kirishima,'' a smile plays on your lips as you look down at him.

He immediately perks up at your voice and quickly rises from the chair, greeting you with a lovely smile.

''Hey, L/N! I'm glad I caught you here. How are you doing?'' his voice is earnest and you fight back a blush.

''I'm doing great, thank you. How are you doing, Kirishima?'' you sit down on the chair next to him and he quickly repeats your actions.

''I’m doing okay, but I feel better now that I’ve seen you,'' you can't help but stare at the faint blush that covers his cheeks. Did he blush because of you? Was he...flirting with you?

You giggle at the thought and smile at him with confidence.

''So, what did you think of the book?'' you inquire. You notice that his right foot is tapping the floor repeatedly- is he nervous?

''The book?'' he sounds confused for a couple of moments. ''Oh! I loved it! The writing was so alluring and I think it was quite romantic,'' he grins widely and you can't help but agree with him.

''I'm glad to hear that,'' you smile softly. ''Are you here for another book?''

Kirishima nods vigorously and you laugh quietly. He seems like an eager child.

The two of you engage in some relaxed chatting- exchanging some gentle touches and by the end of your conversation, both of you are blushing.

You continue to visit the library weekly and so does Kirishima. He's incredibly kind, respectful and such a gentleman, you can't help but develop a small crush on him.

It brings you immense joy when he asks you out on a date. It's nothing too fancy, he told you with a sheepish smile. The two of you would meet at a park and perhaps get some coffee.

You wait impatiently for the day of your date. And finally, you're starting to get dressed for your date when your phone rings with a message. The contents make you frown.

Kirishima: Good evening Y/N,

Kirishima: I'm so sorry, but I won't be able to make it for our date today. Some Pro Hero business came up.

Kirishima: I hope you can forgive me. Can we reschedule?

Your heart drops and all your insecurities begin to seep into your heart. A part of you wants to believe him- he's a Pro Hero, after all, his agenda must be pretty busy- but the insecure part of you suggests that he decided that he wasn't interested in you anymore.

You type out your reply with a heavy heart.

Y/N: It's okay, Kirishima

Y/N: Sure, let me know when.

Once you send the message, you immediately call your best friend. Your date being canceled has put you in a foul mood and your best friend always knows how to cheer you up.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

''I think you should try going on a blind date, Y/N?’’

‘’You two aren't dating after all and I think you should still have your options open,'' your friend suggests but you frown. By the way, she phrases it, sounds like she's considering your romantic partner options as objects.

''Actually, I know just the guy!'' your friend exclaims. She drops her yogurt on the table and claps her hands together.

''You do?'' you ask absentmindedly, swirling your yogurt with a wooden spoon. Your eyes drift to the customers that are entering and leaving the yogurt shop.

''Trust me, you'll love him. He's extremely attractive, charming and I can guarantee that at least if you don't date, you'll have a great night,'' she winks and you laugh briefly.

Maybe your friend was right. There was no reason why you should limit your options.

You're a nobody, a mediocre citizen, the insecure part of you whispered. He's a famous Pro Hero. Did you expect a date with him? He’s way out of your league.

The insecure thoughts make you swallow visibly and shove yogurt into your mouth in an attempt to distract yourself.

Your friend's words lead you to your current situation- standing outside of a loud club. Clubs weren't particularly your favorite spot, but the guy had told you to meet him there. He said he would show up in a denim jacket, black tee-shirt, and jeans. His hair color was a light brown.

You patiently waited for him to arrive since you had arrived early. Once you spotted him between seas of people, you wave vigorously with a forced smile.

The moment he spotted you, he smirked and waves back. You've only known for a couple of seconds, but there's a feeling of dread and fear boiling in your stomach.

''Hi!" you eagerly greet him once he's in front of you.

There's a confident smirk on his face and he introduces himself as Fumihiro Bando. The two of you quickly slip inside the club and linger at the bar, having a light conversation.

Even though he hasn't done anything wrong yet, there's something about him that you can't wrap your finger around. Something about him makes you want to run away, but he's been nothing but polite to you, so you decide to brush the feeling away.

''Here,'' he speaks loudly over the booming music and hands you a drink. ''I'll be right back, I'm going to get more drinks,'' You open your mouth to disagree but he quickly turns around.

A sigh escapes your lips as you toy with the straw of your drink. He was attractive- you couldn't deny it, but you didn't feel any type of connection with him. Not to mention that something about him didn't feel...right.

“Hey,” A voice speaks up next to you. You stop nursing your drink and turn to the left, and stifle back a shocked gasp. An oddly familiar bulky redhead is sliding into onto the stool next to you.

Kirishima is sitting next to you and the look on his eyes makes you furrow your eyebrows. Being so close to him makes you blush and goosebumps rise on your skin, he's so close that you notice how he smells like. It almost feels...intimate.

You aren't strangers with the man, he's talked to you before in the library but this is different- it feels different. The environment isn't like before. You're not in your usual baggy clothing and neither is he- you're wearing a revealing skin-tight outfit that accentuates your body and he's wearing black jeans, a white tee-shirt that presses against his muscles and to top it all of it, a black leather jacket. He's oozing seduction.

It seems that all the confidence you gained from the alcohol evaporates and for a few moments, you feel painfully sober as you attempt to speak.

''H-hi...'' is all you can manage. Even though you sound like an idiot, Kirishima offers you a sympathetic smile before his gaze drifts to the drink in his hands. His eyes narrow.

“Don’t drink that. I think your date’s trying to drug you.” his voice drops down to a whisper. Your eyes widen and your hands immediately loosen around the glass you were carefully holding seconds ago.

''What...?'' you swallow nervously and search for an answer in his expression. He seems to be on alert- his eyes are constantly changing focus- surveying the entire club.

''How do you know that?'' you murmur. ''Why...um,'' your voice dies down when you spot your date from afar. He hasn't spotted you yet and he's weaving through crowds but it feels like someone dumped a bucket of insects on your head. You can feel goosebumps crawl all over your skin.

Kirishima seems to notice this and presses his hand on your back, steering you away from the bar.

''Let's go,'' he whispers in your ear as you rise from the stool. ''It's best if you lose him. I'll get you somewhere safe, okay?''

You can barely walk and keep up with his long strides, your legs are trembling and your toes feel numb.

During the entire time, Kirishima keeps his hand on your back- it doesn't lower or move at all, but he keeps his grip firm as he helps you weave through the crowds of dancing bodies.

Once the two of you are outside of the club, you breathe in the fresh air and feel your body tremble harder.

Kirishima begins to rub circles on your back and whisper comforting words. You can feel your breathing regulate and you slowly regain your composure.

''There you are.'' the cold voice of Fumihiro Bando makes you freeze.

Kirishima turns around to face him and places you behind him.

''Hey there,'' Kirishima's tone is friendly, but his eyes are narrowed. ''Do I know you?''

Fumihiro scoffs and looks at the redhead with disgust.

''Ditching me for another guy? I've barely met you for a few moments and I can tell you're a fucking whore,'' he snarls.

Your pride stings with his words and Kirishima stiffens at his words.

''That isn't very manly,'' he says calmly. ''Apologize to her. It's unmanly to disrespect woman.''

Fumihiro snickers and steps forward, glaring daggers at Kirishima.

''Why don't you shut the hell up and fuck off?!'' Fumihiro pushed Kirishima, but he didn't even budge. The push did absolutely nothing to him. Fumihiro seemed to notice this, as he swallowed visibly and took a step back.

''Do you realize who you're talking to?'' Kirishima said coldly. ''I would calm down if I were you.''

He scoffed and glared at the redhead.

''What? Your gym muscles aren't scaring anyone, buddy.''

''Those aren't gym muscles, you dickhead,'' a new voice growls. You jump and tighten your grip on Kirishima's arm.

A tall, lean but muscled guy with spiky blonde hair and blood-red eyes steps out of the club and glares at Fumihiro- and it takes you a minute to recognize who it is- Pro Hero Ground Zero!

Oh dear, you think. Your legs are jittery- meeting two Pro Heroes in one day? You're ready to faint.

''You're disrespecting the Pro Hero Red Riot, you piece of shit,'' Ground Zero growls. Fumihiro's eyes widen. ''And me, by being here. Now fuck off before I get angry.'' Fumihiro scowls but scrambles away and once he's out of your eyesight your body relaxes. Kirishima brings you forward, a hand on your back. Ground Zero's narrowed eyes drift to you.

''Thanks, Bakugou!'' Kirishima says with a toothy smile.

''Tch. Whatever. Who's this?'' his tone is brash and rough, but you can tell he's good friends with Kirishima.

''Oh! This is Y/N, a friend of mine,'' your cheeks feel warm.

Bakugou grunts and gives you a nod of acknowledgment which you return with a small nervous smile.

''I'm going to walk Y/N home, Bakugou, so I'll head out early today. See you,''

The blonde grunts in response and retreats into the club. Once he's gone, the environment is oddly silent. The faint echo of the music inside the club makes the walls vibrate. You swallow nervously and raise your gaze to Kirishima, who's already watching you with a comforting smile.

''Thanks,'' you murmur. And then you realize how everything must've looked like- the moment he canceled out on your date, you left to leech onto another guy. God, you slightly cringe. This is not good.

''It's not a problem,'' Kirishima's voice is smooth and lighthearted, a big contrast to yours.

You sigh and pinch your nose. ''I'm sorry, Kirishima, I...'' you trail off. Kirishima clutched your right hand and squeezes it. He offers you an understanding smile.

''It's okay, Y/N. I don't want to imagine how you felt and I'm sorry for canceling. I was really busy that day.''

Your heart feels heavy at his words. He's so sweet and nice your heart feels like it's about to explode.

''I know Kirishima but, I shouldn't have gone on this date. My friend convinced me into going and the dude tried to drug me...'' you groan and force down the desire to cry. ''I'm such an idiot. I'm sorry. I'll understand if you don't want to see me again...''

Wiping your eyes harshly, you lower your gaze to Kirishima's fancy shoes and sniffle.

''Hey, hey,'' he grabs your chin gently and presses a hand on your shoulder.

''Don't feel bad, sweetheart. It's not your fault. I'm not mad, you don't owe me anything, okay?'' he murmurs the last few words, brushing his finger on your chin.

''Th-thank you.'' without hesitation, you lean forward and wrap your arms around his back.

''You were free to reject me or decide to move on. I won't judge you, because it's your decision and not mine. Okay?''

His bright red eyes are staring directly into yours. Your entire body feels body and you sniffle.

Your hug takes him by surprise- he tenses before relaxing and wrapping his arms around you. He's so tall you can barely reach his collarbone. You sniffle and bury your face in his chest.

''I'm sorry for crying... I've just had a long day.'' Your words are muffled but Kirishima understands them perfectly.

''It's okay,'' he rubs his hand in circles on your back. ''You have nothing to apologize for.''

The two of you stand there for a few minutes until you gain back your composure. His arms are warm and strong, you feel at home in his hold.

Sniffling, you pull back and rub at your eyes. ''Thanks for watching out for me, Kirishima. I don't know how I can ever repay you.'' you bow politely.

Kirishima chuckles. He smiles crookedly and crosses his arms over his chest.

''Of course.''

''Well...you could repay me with a date.''

Your face warms up and you smile.

Kirishima's grin widens and he steps forward. You giggle at his actions.

''I'll be looking forward to our date. But for the moment, I think I'll walk you home. Is that okay with you?''

''So...'' you fiddle with your keys. ''Thanks for everything, Kirishima.''

You nod and smile brightly. Kirishima smiles and the two of you begin to walk towards his car.

The two of you exchange a comfortable conversation during the car ride and before you know it, Kirishima and you are standing at your doorstep.

He smiles in response. ''Call me Eijirou.''

Your eyes widen but you nod in response. Before you can lose the little amount of courage you've gathered, you stand on your tiptoes and press a kiss on his cheek.

''Thank you for everything, Eijirou.''

His eyes widen and you giggle as you watch his face redden and his hand hovers over the spot you kissed him.

''No-no problem!" his voice is squeakier than usual but there's a bright grin on his face.

''I'll text you in the morning?'' he asks uncertainly. You nod and unlock your door, stepping inside your house.

''I'll be waiting for your message,'' you say with a teasing smile.

Kirishima smiles and nods. ''Good night, Y/N! Sleep well.''

You softly bid him goodbye and close the door behind you. With a smile, you lay on your sofa and press a hand over your beating heart.

The way Kirishima makes you feel is a powerful feeling- scary to an extent, but you're more than ready to explore this feeling with him.

a/n: as always lovelies, please leave a like, reblog, follow and/or comment if you enjoyed! <3 have a good day!

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starmakerdotcom · 4 years ago

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summary : peach doubts himself once again.

characters : kwon baekhan , han jaeyi , rest of botanica ensemble mentioned (side note ; daniel’s korean name is jiwon and elliot’s is hanryeol , which is who jaeyi is referring to)

genre : tryna be angst but once again i cannot write angst but i tried

warnings : they say shit like twice , implied mental illness ?? maybe ?? he lowkey has a mini panic attack at the start . i don’t know if you can think of a better way to put it lmk also if u have a problem w the way i’m portraying this pls dm me !!! i’m always looking to learn more and i don’t wanna offend anyone <33

words : 1.5k

[ july 2019 , 1:34 am , SMK building rooftop ]

baekhan burst through the doors from the stairwell, immediately taking a gulping breath, taking in as much fresh air into his lungs as he could. he couldn’t breathe, he felt suffocated, like the roof was caving in around him. he needed fresh air, he needed to go outside, away from everything for just a minute.

he knew jaeyi would come looking for him eventually, he just needed a break, to get away from everything around him that made him feel like he wasn’t good enough.

take a break! jaeyi would say, you’re pushing yourself too much, you’ll regret it when you get hospitalized by passing out from exhaustion. that was ridiculous, he’d know when to stop himself. we can come back tomorrow! they’d say, but by that time it already was tomorrow, so he might as well stay the rest of the night, right? he was debuting in two weeks- oh god, he wasn’t ready for that. the others didn’t have to work as hard because they were gifted, naturally talented, and good enough to debut already. they didn’t understand that baekhan didn’t belong here. he was a fraud, he shouldn’t have made it as far as he did.

a fraud, untalented, not worthy, a fraud, a fraud, a fraud.

baekhan made his way over to the ledge, gripping onto the rail as his way of keeping himself grounded. the cold midnight breeze and the view of the entire city below him was strangely comforting. he exhaled for what felt like the first time in an hour, and just stood there for a second, his elbows supporting his body as he leaned on the railing, trying to clear his mind.

he hated the fact that he just got up and left instead of trying to calm down. even when he couldn’t breathe and it felt like the panelled ceiling of the practice room was falling and caving on top of him, running away from his problems wasn’t gonna fix them. bolting out of the practice room and hiding wasn’t gonna do anything, it just made him look like a coward.

he lowered his head, trying to calm his shaky breathing and trying to take his mind off the fact that the word kept dancing around in his head. fraud, fraud, fraud.

baekhan wasn’t that hard to find. after jaeyi convinced tian to go back to the dorm and sleep after he snuck out for much longer than he was supposed to, the rooftop was one of the first places he checked. although he was deathly afraid of heights and his legs shook every time he went up there, jaeyi had to somehow convince him to come back down and go back to the dorm with him.

he breathed a sigh of relief when he carefully pushed open the door to the roof and saw baekhan standing near the edge, leaning on the rail.

“baek?” he called as he made his way over to where the older stood, trying to block out the sound of cars rushing below them that made his head spin. baekhan whipped his head around quickly, but softened seeing it was just jaeyi. his eyes looked puffy.

“shouldn’t you be back at the dorm?” he asked.

“i came to look for you, you know i wouldn’t go back without you.”

“i know my way back,” baekhan replied cooly, “or are you trying to make sure i don’t off myself.”

jaeyi hesitated, “kind of? anyway- i’m talking you back to the dorm now. you need rest.”

baekhan sighed, “can we just stay out here for a minute? i need some fresh air, i promise i’ll come back after.”

jaeyi gulped, surpressing the urge to projectile vomit down the side of the building onto an unsuspecting driver below for the sake of his friend. “yeah, we can stay for a minute. i’m staying with you to make sure you come back.”

surprisingly, baekhan nodded in compliancy. “that’s fine,” he replied, turning around to slide down to a sitting position with the rail supporting his back, “i just need a minute.”

jaeyi sat down next to him, and the two sat in silence for a few minutes. although jaeyi was worrying about the possibility of the rail somehow giving way from the weight of the two scrawny boys and sending them tumbling over the edge, to eventually land in a sad pile as a gift to some poor pedestrian that just so happened to be walking at the wrong time.

“is there anything that’s bothering you? you don’t have to tell me, i just don’t want you to keep everything from me- i guess?” jaeyi asked.

“nothing that you can really help with,” baekhan mumbled.

“well- just tell me what’s on your mind, please? i might not be able to help, but maybe having someone listen will make it better?”

baekhan sighed, “maybe. it’s kind of complicated though.”

“try me,” jaeyi replied confidently.

nervously drumming his fingers on the concrete of the ground, he quickly said, “i’m not ready to debut.”

jaeyi blinked, “you’re being serious?” when baekhan nodded quickly, he continued, “you’re more ready than all five of us combined, where’d you get that from?”

“...because i’m not ready?” baekhan looked at jaeyi like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “have you seen my dancing? daniel has tried to help me so many times, and i’m still a horrible dancer. i don’t know how he’s so patient when i want to punch myself in the face every time i mess up the choreography.”

“i think your dancing is good...” jaeyi said quietly before baekhan continued, his eyes glossy from welling tears.

“i’m not ready, i don’t want to debut yet, i don’t even deserve to be here. you and daniel try to help, straighten your back, stick this move with your arms, chest out, neck straight, and i can’t fucking get it. i don’t know why i’m here. i’d probably be working at a fast food restaurant or something if i wasn’t here. i don’t deserve it, i’m not talented enough, i’m a fraud.”

jaeyi stiffened, not sure how to respond. he felt horrible knowing that his friend was going through this right under his nose and he had no clue. this wasn’t the confident, talented baekhan jaeyi thought he knew when he joined the company a few months prior. seeing him in a weak, vulnerable state like this filled him with an intense feeling of sonder. everyone around him, although they may have appeared fine, were living their own set of problems right underneath the surface that no one, or just a select few people even know about. but one thing was for sure, if kwon baekhan was anything, a fraud was most definitely not one of those things.

“you’re not a fraud,” jaeyi replied, and quickly added, “never were, and never will be.”

“you might think so,” baekhan quickly wiped a few stray tears away that had leaked down his cheeks and lowered his head again, letting his hair obscure part of his face, “i feel like it though. don’t bother asking why. i don’t know but i also do know.”

“i see,” jaeyi nodded slowly, “sorry- i’ve never been good with stuff like this.”

“no, it’s okay, it was actually good to get that off my chest, actually. i’ve never really said any of that out loud to anyone before,” baekhan reassured the younger.

“well- if you ever need to get anything else off your chest, come to me,” jaeyi said, “or jiwon, or sangwoo- eh no maybe not sangwoo, hanryeol- eh- tian- eh? maybe? me or jiwon would probably be your best bet, actually.”

baekhan laughed, and when he saw that jaeyi was starting to yawn, he said, “should we head back now? it’s late.”

“yeah, no shit it’s late,” jaeyi laughed with him, already starting to get up, “if you’re ready to go back, then yeah. i’d love to get off of this roof.”

“right,” baekhan followed, standing up as well. he almost felt lighter, like he could stand slightly straighter now, “that was refreshing.”

“you need sleep, i swear, have you seen yourself?” baekhan touched his face at that, and although he couldn’t see himself he could practically feel the dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep he’d gotten that past week.

“before we go back, c’mere,” jaeyi held his arms out, and when baekhan cautiously scooted closer, he grabbed him and enveloped him in a tight hug, baekhan immediately stiffening.

“you smell like sweat,” baekhan laughed, crinkling his nose.

“so do you,” jaeyi replied, “and can you please come to me next time you’re having trouble with something?”

“i’ll try,” baekhan mumbled into the taller boy’s chest, “oh god, what would i do without you, i swear.”

“ew, enough of that sappy shit- let’s get back now, or i’ll pass out in the elevator on the way back!” jaeyi said, loosening his grip around the shorter boy’s torso.

as the two boys walked off the roof and down to the elevator, baekhan felt a strange sense of relief that he hadn’t felt in what felt like years. and the rest of the night he’d stay up thinking- what in the world did he ever do to deserve a friend like han jaeyi?

#group.botanica #botanica.scenarios #peach.dev #jaeyi.dev #koc #idol!oc #idol!au #idol!group #kpop oc #oc kpop group #kpop imagines #fake kpop group #idol oc #starmaker entertainment #made up kpop agency

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mousehole5000 · 4 years ago

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tgcf lb the fourth chapter 23 - 33

“hmmm looks like theres people in the fertilizer. i shan’t say a word” ok king of minding your business i guess

oh looks like it has a long tongue. oh i dont care for that at all

The build of their bodies were similar, and atop their shoulders, all of them carried cudgels that were densely covered in sharp wolf teeth. It created an illusion that a pack of wolves had transformed into people. attack of the furries? okay.

It was easy to comprehend after thinking about it. This person had been buried in the desert sand for fifty to sixty years. The flesh of his body had long been transformed into nutrients for those Kindred Moon Herbs. He had been entirely consumed until the only thing remaining was a mere skeleton. when this book isnt being very funny its being very grim!!! yikes!! also this was an episode of hannibal

Ke Mo definitely had never heard someone ask to go first in this place. His eyes widened and looked like bells as he asked in astonishment, “You want to go first? For what reason??” Xie Lian naturally couldn’t reply and say it was because he wasn’t scared. Thus, he chose an answer that conformed with the norms of society. “General, these are merely innocent merchants just passing through. They even have a child amongst them.” - love watching the immortals trying to act like humans. would have been funny if xie lian had just hit em with “well i cant die so its chill”

That young man had crossed his arms. With an indifferent gaze, he thoughtfully sized up the deep Sinners’ Pit.　　 A bad premonition sprung up unbidden in Xie Lian’s heart. “San Lang?”　　 When he heard Xie Lian call him, San Lang turned his head. He smiled faintly and said, “Everything’s fine.” - edgy bastard lets go

What Ke Mo had been cursing was, “It’s this slut again!” - me when a corpse gets up and knocks all my soldiers into the sinner’s pit what a relatable reaction

oh now im switching translations here we go

does hua cheng just straight up transform in the darkness? edgy bastard. also hualian having their little discussion while ke mo keeps trying to attack im still amused by these kinds of shenanigans

banyue guoshi ma’am your backstory.... rough. im on your side im sure you had your reasons

why do the soldiers keep her up near the top of the pit of death if she keeps getting up and knocking them all in? am i missing something? or are they just that dumb/dead fjdf;adjsf

fu yao: y’all alive? lmk. if not ill guess ill go back to the the merchants who totally promised to stay put in the circle. in case its not clear i do not care what happens to said merchants.

hua xie... of course thats the fucking name he picked. also looks like that wasnt so much a parallel being drawn between xie lian and the general as it was the same exact line

fasdlkfjsldfdsf god xie lian really has a hard time. you help some orphans, you try to keep people from dying, you try to save an orphan and you trip and get trampled but you cant die so you wake up in a river full of corpses and just float away. actually tbh i really appreciate him as an immortal character this is the shit i like to see. love xie lian ready to defend himself from the slander of being completely flattened. he was only mostly flattened

cunty vibes so strong all the wildlife in a 10 foot radius just chuck up the deuces and split

ITS RAINING SCORPION SNAKES. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO PUSH A REVEAL. love that the umbrella is just always on hand

okay i guess fucking. everyone is here now why not. we’re all in a hole covered in scorpions and everyone knows each other but not everyone is admitting it but we know. we know. still not 100% sure what is going wrt pei su/pei ming/general pei/pei junior im a bit confused idk

okay i cant explain it but im attached to him now.

i like banyue. i feel like theres going to be a few background female characters i really like but im not so sure theyll get a lot of development. wind master come back you and your lady friend i would like to know more of you. anyway fuck this pei guy(s?). also they just put banyue in a jar? fair enough

is xie lian another mc who cant cook? so much so that everyone who knows him just leaves if he offers? love that for him

okay we’ve got ONE identity admitted. i liked how casual it was. i wonder if hc was waiting for this bc yeah he was not subtle i feel like he definitely wanted xie lian to know. if he didnt then bruh. get lessons in how to act human please

screaming. no words. cant wait to meet him. and hua cheng please keep up the good work. i love that now we’re just. sitting. chatting. chilling. okay.

yeah it makes sense that hes an immortal i think you would have to take this attitude after 800 years

this authors note about not writing ugly characters.... fjkdalfdjfa obviously i dont think holding beauty as such high standard is good it warps our views and values etc etc but also i would expect nothing less from a story like this. yes we know everyone is going to be beautiful theyre immortal and beautiful and young forever

lmao at exile being a temporary banishment for crimes.... yeah that sounds about right tbh. rich elite fuckers

oh good we haven’t forgotten about human face disease boy. im wondering when we’re going to find out how important he will be bc he clearly matters otherwise he’d have been resolved already also yeah how tf does he have that disease that sure sounds like an issue

i dont like him. pei ming i also wish you to die of syphilis. also of fucking COURSE xie lian’s cultivation method doesnt let him read dirty books

im just saving this because its funny

okay lang qianqiu i see you falling asleep at the meeting. i like you already but you are not above suspicion. actually you know what i suspect you already. crown prince of the kingdom that conquered xianle? idk if youre good or bad but you know something i learned this lesson from beloved morally grey huaisang

okay last comment for this post. mxtx’s little authors note about everyone being straight except for hualian but you can make up headcanons as long as you dont split hualian up fjdlfakdj. i just find it silly to write a story thats so clearly for an audience that understands shipping and ships often and say not to split a specific couple up but i mean to be fair i kind of get it that sentiment as an author and not wanting people to do certain things with your work, although again i think its silly

i guess the point of this note is just to be clear that no one else is going to get together so no one argues about it and i dont actually know much about how this was published but it seems like it was serialized so i can see why that would be an issue. personally i dont really care for knowing stuff like that ahead of time but i know a lot of people do and it seems to be thing in other cnovels ive seen to know whos going to get together as far as major characters are concerned i guess thats part of the draw and i guess i kind of get it

not sure how much other romance will be in this but also i think its kind of ridiculous to be like “these are the only two gay characters” in a cast that just keeps growing but whatever shes really leaving that work up to the readers to make it happen which they’ll do anyways so whatever. also there had to be at least one of the 33 officials who fought hua cheng who thought he was hot. theres no way that didnt happen

#if theres a note that explains why some of the immortals have a whisk can someone point me to towards it?#im assuming its not actually a kitchen whisk although that would be something #is it like the feather dusters songxiao carry?#tgcf liveblog #mouse mumbles #i guess this is what im doing with my time now

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oidheadh-con-culainn · 6 years ago

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is cú chulainn an incarnation of lug mac ethlenn? probably not.

okay so i said i’d talk a bit more about how the cú chulainn-is-an-incarnation-of-lug theory is totally whack and based on a scribal error, so here goes. there’s an article that talks about this called the textual tradition of compert con culainn, which is in celtica 21 for anyone who has academic library access, but i’m assuming the majority of you don’t and/or can’t be bothered to go look something up which is valid

anyway for those who aren’t familiar with cu chulainn’s birth story, it’s a little bit weird, because he’s kind of conceived multiple times. there’s a boy whom his mother adopts, but who later dies; while she’s mourning said child she drinks and a small ‘creature’ goes into her mouth, at which point lug comes to her in a dream and says she’ll be giving birth to his son sétanta (and by the way the boy who died was his son too); she’s due to marry súaltaim but she’s already pregnant with this unknown child so she induces a miscarriage, marries súaltaim, and gets pregnant again… and this third child is cú chulainn (well, sétanta, he gets his other name later)

so that’s how he was conceived; the circumstances concerning his birth are also a little complicated and vary according to different stories, as well as being contradicted in places by little references to his childhood in other stories. for example, the táin says that he was raised by his mother and father and then left for emain macha at the age of about five, whereas versions of his birth story have him being immediately fostered by the ulaid, and yet another story has it that he’s nursed by láeg’s parents (láeg being his charioteer) so that they’re raised together from infancy (which is ADORABLE and I LOVE IT)

what does any of this have to do with whether or not he’s an incarnation of lug mac ethlenn? well basically the scribe messed up and confused two lines – one line featuring lug identifying himself to dechtire, and one in which he identifies his son, saying that he’ll be called sétanta, and from this concluded that lug-cú chulainn was an incarnation situation, and wrote a verse accordingly which has confused people ever since

now it’s always dodgy to ‘correct’ medieval texts according to what they think they ‘should’ say, but in this case we can be fairly sure this is what happened because there’s more than one manuscript of the story, so can compare them to see why they’re different, and come up with a working hypothesis about how that came to be

so the problematic version is the one from the book of leinster (LL), whereas we also have the slightly older version from lebor na huidre (LU). a verse in LU therefore says “and he [lug] himself was lug mac ethlenn” and then “and the child would be called sétanta”, or something, which the author of the LL version clearly muddled up and thought it said “and he [the child] himself was lug mac ethlenn”, so inserts a verse after that saying “and lug mac ethlenn was in the form of the child […] he was cú chulainn”

because this idea isn’t in the other versions of the story, we can see that something weird’s going on with LL, and if you’ve ever seen a medieval manuscript you can imagine how easy it would be to confuse two lines while reading and draw the wrong conclusions (hell, i’ve done that with tumblr posts, and those aren’t written in insular miniscule)

essentially, this whole confusion appears to come from what we call ‘scribal eye-skip’, i.e. a scribe was tired while reading the story, got muddled, tried to explain the text based on how they’d read it, and resulted in several hundred years of people trying to argue that cú chulainn is an incarnation of lug

(i mean that may also be down to the whole ‘cut-price jesus’ idea, which is… a whole thing i’m not gonna get into right now, but basically, if you’re trying to find more parallels between cú chulainn and jesus other than the fact that he died aged 33 and also one time slept for three days – possibly in a tomb – to be healed by his divine father, then the idea that he is an incarnation of that divine father is going to help considerably with doing that)

now obviously this is an ‘error’ that’s made in the book of leinster, which was compiled some time in the twelfth century, probably by around 1160, and is our major source for various texts, including one of the two main recensions of the táin. it’s not a new, recent thing; it’s older than some of the other material we’ve got. because of this, we need to ask ourselves whether we can really make a value judgment on how valid this interpretation is. i mean, if everything we know about medieval irish texts comes from these manuscripts and it says this in one of those manuscripts, then even if we can see where they might have got that idea from and think it’s probably a mistake, is it not just as valid as anything else in that manuscript? we wouldn’t argue that something from r2 of the táin is an error just because LL differs there from LU; we just say that it’s a different recension and treat it as such

it’s difficult because it involves lug and whenever anything involves gods it starts becoming A Thing, and since people are intent on extricating pre-christian mythology from medieval texts, they want to know whether or not you can consider cú chulainn an incarnation of lug. and then that in turn has a bearing on how you read lug and, indeed, whether you consider cú chulainn himself to be a god of any variety, so that’s when it starts mattering whether or not the scribe got it ‘right’ … like if you want to take that approach, then you’d probably say that no, this idea doesn’t belong to any pre-christian mythology (NOT THAT WE CAN ACTUALLY RECONSTRUCT THAT), it’s just LL getting confused, so we shouldn’t incorporate it into reconstructions now

(i will not here get into the question of whether or not such reconstructions are a useful way of looking at this material because that’s just. a whole can of worms, both academic and theological.)

honestly, for me as someone who isn’t super engaged with the texts on, like, a mythological and/or religious level and tends just to treat them as literature, it doesn’t really matter to me, but the fact that this whole interpretation hinges on what looks to be a very simple scribal error is part of the reason i don’t buy into it and will never write about cú chulainn as if he’s an incarnation of lug

i hope all of that made sense but if you have any questions lmk and i will attempt to clarify. in the meantime i hope you enjoyed this 1200-word post, personally i’m thinking i need to start an Actual Srs Academic blog (like a wordpress or something) to post this stuff on if i’m gonna spend this much time on it, but there we are

main source for this post if you wanna know more / check that i’m not talking complete rubbish: Ó Concheanainn, Tomás, “The textual tradition of Compert Con Culainn”, Celtica 21 (1990), pp. 441–455

#lug mac ethlenn #cu chulainn #irish mythology #celtic mythology #medieval irish #tain bo cuailnge #tc does academia

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