#lmfao thats his first wall breaking down

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think one of the biggest misunderstandings that effects people even within the DEPTHS of this fandom is that people dont realize that saiki STILL has a mask on around toritsuka, aiura, and (less than the other two but still) akechi.

hes not being his perfectly true and honest self around them, hes not even being his perfectly true and honest self around his own mother, HES NOT EVEN HIS PERFECTLY TRUE AND HONEST SELF WHEN HES ALONE. because even in his own head hes constantly contradicting himself and denying himself everything he wants 😭 itd probably take the guy a few more YEARS of development to get close to that point with even himself let alone anyone else

idk i just feel like i see a lot of people inferring that since saiki isnt ever that happy, doesnt laugh, isnt very open, etc with those three that that means he wouldnt at all, ever 😭 but this is a saiki natural reaction when he thinks no ones watching

this is also why its annoying when people call literally anything that we wouldnt see him do in the show "mischaracterization" even though we literally dont know what he will be like when more of his walls break down 😭 you can interpret it how you want, but we dont. know. we only know that he hasnt yet opened up much to anyone, which leaves lots and lots of room for interpretation

[gokubrain]

are you aware of the hit vegeta image song ‘love is like a ballad’ from the fusion reborn soundtrack where it’s essentially a kakavege love song 😭😭

https://www.animelyrics.com/anime/dbz/ainobaraado.htm

and i’m 99.9% sure it’s about goku too because it uses the word ‘yatsu’ which is only used by men to refer to other men in a derogatory way… it drives me so insane

OH YOU ALREADY KNOWWWW IM WELL AWARE OF THIS LMFAO thank u for giving me the chance to talk about it HAHA

under here cuz its kind of a lot:

lets break down the lyrics shall we ..

right off the fucking bat. starting off STRONG. for vegeta to even have the thought “on this small earth life must be protected to the end” is such a good line but pairing it with “but whenever i look at you i feel like a fool” CRAAZYYYYY. insane. protecting the earth is a huge part of all the earthlings’ characters, and without goku, vegeta wouldnt have those feelings. to talk about protecting earth in one line and then immediately talk about goku next is wildddd. “i want to protect the earth, you taught me the importance of that, and yet when i look at you im reminded that it’s because of YOU that i hold these feelings about this planet.” like okAAAY alright okay!!

“why do i treat you so harshly? why do i hurt you that way? yet still fight against great evils” GRAAAHHHH this is insane right LMAO

vegeta displaying confusion as to why he treats goku the way he does when they share the same goal.. when they fight the same battles.. this self aware-ness is literally what early-stage kakavege IS dude. vegeta feeling conflicted about his actions vs his emotions is the first step to realizing he’s in love with goku.. haha. lol

“for the sake of love […] i would even throw away my rank” VEGETAAA. WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUTTTTT LMFAO….

vegeta suggesting he would disown his own ranking, his pride, something very near and dear to him.. this is also early kakavege core LMAO i mean come on. thats just an insane fucking thing for him to say. unreal.

IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER….!!!

“IN TRUTH, THIS POWER IS NOTHING. ALL I KNOW IS YOU.” VEGETA……..!!!!!!!!

ALL I KNOW IS YOU? ALL I KNOW IS YOU???

“although i pretend to be a steel wall […] all i know is you” is just. i mean. EXPLICITLY kakavege. this is kakavege poetry. this is vegeta’s struggle perfectly put into lyric form. i cant believe this fucking song exists lmfao

NOW. NOW..

“the smile you give me is always warm” is wild when thinking about how the entire fusion reborn movie consists of 45 minutes of goku smiling lovingly at vegeta LMAO DONT EVEN THINK VEGETA DIDNT NOTICE. !!

“here i am, offering myself completely if we can be together”

AINT THAT JUST THE ICING ON THE CAKE FOLKS. DONT THAT JUST BEAT ALL LMFAO. ANYONE ELSE FEEL SUPER NORMAL RN?

offering myself completely. giving my all to you. devoting myself to you. THIS IS ONE OF THE FUCKING BUILDING BLOCKS OF KAKAVEGE DUDE. THIS IS ONE OF THE RUNNING THEMES, A KAKAVEGE LEITMOTIF. THIS IS SO VEGETA. I WANNA DIE LMFAO

“if we can be together” …. i mean. what even is there to say about that. how much more explicit can he be here. this is the most straightforward thing vegeta will ever say in terms of kakavege lmao this is it folks. this is IT !!!

its just unreal right. that a song like this even exists.. i mean its so obviously about goku, talking about training together and vegeta being mean to him and protecting earth together and throwing away his rank….. if you think even for one second that this is about bulma you are BLIND. like lets all be serious a moment lmao

and i love that this is related to fusion reborn of all things. that movie is the fucking kakavege bible dude i SWEAR. this whole song makes so much sense if you see fusion reborn as a love story, it all fits so perfectly with how vegeta would theoretically be feeling during the (vaguely referenced) place in the timeline that this movie takes place. this is buu arc shit baby its the point of no return for vegeta its the beginning of the end.. he is realizing his feelings for goku.. i live for this shit man seriously this is what i thrive on

also the goddamn song is called “love is like a ballad” i mean what else can even be said lmfao ..!

[tmntxthings]

woahh matchups?? by grace no less??? raced to the askbox 🫡

im decently tall(?), like 170cm last i checked three years ago lmfao. I love cooking food, but my way of measurements is to literally just throw in whatever my heart desires and pray it turns out right. Im supposed to wear glasses but i dont because i look cooler without them and luckily my eyesight is decent. What am i even supposed to say for a matchup this has become a mini storytelling session about myself ???

I enjoy flirting with my girl friends because its genuinely how i show love to them lmao, i literally call them babe/jagiya (like honey in korean)

oh! there was this one time i met a mutual friend for the first time and immediately winked at her in the train as soon as we made eye contact. ill never forget it.

ikr ?! who would’ve guessed, im being bombarded with them now xD i didn’t realize what I was getting into heheh

MY DEAR PUMPKIN, it should come as no surprise that I match you with Leonardo Hamato

(it took me a ridiculous amount of time to find this god damn gif of this shit head winking for the ultimate effect)

And here are my reasons <333333

I’m once again going against what I initially said, I like the whole opposites attract or yk finding someone who compliments you, like a ying/yang thing BUT

I couldn’t stop imagining you immediately flirting with the Face Man, and him at first being completely taken off guard, you?? flirting with him!?!

but better believe that moment only lasts seconds before his smirk is taking over that face, confidence up to the max as he winks back at you, anddddd don’t think you’re just walking away after that! Now he’s gotta talk to you, spit game so-to-speak hehe, and the two of you are fast ‘friends’ (he totally thinks the two of you are dating as soon as u flirted with him)

and then his world comes crashing down when he sees that you do it with your girlfriends too, he’s having a mental breakdown- what- wait- im not special?! T^T *crying in the club* but now he’s all the more determined to win you over for real, pulling out all the stops to see a sweet blush appear on your face, I mean it’s only fair since you get that reaction out of him too, though he does his best to cover it up (quite literally lifting his hand to his face, pretending to cough, and sometimes drastically making a getaway portal before you see how completely beguiled he is)

hehe I imagine he has the same kind of cooking methods as you too, fuck them measurements! tho you may have to hold Leo back from dumping a whole load of spices/flour/whatever ingredient into the mixing bowl xD

and i imagine he would make you ten times more confident as well, he’ll tease you for not wearing your glasses, for sureeee, he will wear them himself, “Don’t I look cute?? Tell me I’m—“ though glasses have the opposite effect on him, he’s totally running into poles, walls, practically breaking your poor glasses, but I guess thats one way to convince you to wear them??? Don’t worry he absolutely adores the way you look with them on, he’s just a tease ya know? And a dummy! But your dummy c;

and that’s all I got my dearest pumpkin <33333 I rlly hope you enjoyed hehe

[wazzappp]

A FEAST. A BANQUET BEFITTING A LORD. HOLY S H I T. who do I have to fight to get you more 4 day weekends dude I'll do it. I'll fucking do it. I wont hesitate betch.

/--Chris would probably dismember them both and cremate them in an oil drum. Heck, he could probably skip the cremation step and just leave their corpses in the house. No one would find them for years./

The whole Chris introduction is GREAT. Yeah no theres a healthy fear for the man who punches boulders into submission thats fair thats very fair. But also ROBBIE. HE. YOU CANT. YOU WONT GO DOWN IF YOU GET SHOT YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT??? the boy being oblivious is. my fucking favorite thing. And you write it SO well theres so many great little 'wink wink' moments in this it has me CHEWING MY FINGERNAILS OFF AAGGHHHHH. Deadpool breaks the fourth wall but you play tennis with it dude and that is SO impressive.

/Mr. Redfield seemed like he wanted to appear harmless. He generally arrived in a nondescript rental car, biceps straining the sleeves of his polo shirt, bearing some comics or Cholula hot sauce or something else he thought would endear him to them./

CHOLULA MY BELOVED peak hot sauce I fight and die on this hill >:] Ah yes, ridiculously ripped Chris is quite the important plot point. Dude is just built different. Built Ford Tough. Absolute UNIT of a man.

Robbie going into a full dissertation mentally about how bikes work and comparing them to cars was so fucking funny to me. Like yes my dude this is the most important thing to be thinking about at this very moment good job.

/“It’s big,” he remarked.

“The seat’s not hard to adjust.”

Crap. Mr. Redfield must think Robbie was complaining./

OH HE JUST LIKE ME. HE JUST LIKE ME FRFR.

/Robbie was already sprinting around the Tacoma, between the endless shrubs, down the rocky slope after Gabe, who was hurtling toward the ocean at ten, fifteen, twenty miles an hour—toward the ocean and the rough cliffs that led down to it./

Press X to doubt about the speed dude but also PANIK. Yeah no I could see how that would freak him tf out; no idea what your little brothers newfound capabilities limits are (I feel like I fucked up that grammar a little but whatever) and he just goes NYOOOOOOM.

/“Whoa, little dude, safety first,” Mr. Redfield called, waving the boxed helmet in one hand as he overtook Robbie without obvious effort. Maybe he was some kind of bioweapon./

FIRST OF ALL: DONT FUCKING TEMPT ME, IVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT. SECOND OF ALL: AHA. AHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAAAAA. pot calling the kettle black moment. THIRD OF ALL: llololol lmfao being made of fungus cant fix your poor cardiorespiratory health dude. Hop on a bike and get on that shit <33

/Robbie grasped desperately for some way to explain his panic besides, every time you show me something new you can do I get scared you’re possessed again./

OK O W YEAH THATS PRETTY. OW. FUCK. OK.

/“If you cracked your head open I’d be so sad I might die.” Then Gabe slumped and let Redfield tighten the chinstrap according to the diagrams./

If he cracked his head open it would probably fix itself in about a week but theres no need for him to know that yet :] also FJDKSLF:JKDSLJFKLDS THATS ONE WAY TO CONVINCE HIM LOL

Oh my GOD. The whole bit about Jack teaching him how to ride, Eveline treating him like a toy. AGH. Its so so very cool that he can ride a bike now but the CIRCUMSTANCES. REQUIRING 'DECONTAMINATION' HOOGHHHS. AAAAAAAAA. FUCK. Oh boy Robbies separation anxiety is about to be put through the fucking ringer isn't it. Congrats, he can now very quickly and easily leave not just your area of sight but your area of HEARING. The 'are you fucking kidding me' was well earned Chris XD

/Why was he acting shocked. He’d read their file. Foster kids couldn’t haul bikes from home to home. “Who was gonna teach me?”

“Me,” Redfield muttered. “Now. Apparently.”/

Don't make me emotional about them oh my god. oh my GOD. I gotta. Bonding session bike riding drawing time. Fuck. Come on Chris talk about teaching Claire how to ride a bike. Discussing your younger sibling with him would make leaps and bounds in your relationship. Hnnnggjdkflsa get cared for idiot. Get CARED FOR.

/“Is it a requirement?” Robbie checked.

“No, not like firearms training,” Redfield said, confirming one of Robbie’s previous suspicions and raising more questions at the same time. “But I figure you want to keep up with him.”/

Yayyyyyyyy being groomed into a weapon momenttttt just slightly more humanely I guess. At least he has Chris instead of Krauser lol.

Anyway, I need to turn your writing into soup so I can drown myself in it thank you

Ghost Rider/RE7 AU fanfic: Skills

Follows directly from this fic. Set in @wazzappp's Ghost Rider/RE7 fusion AU, during the period that Robbie and Gabe are living in an isolated BSAA-provided safe-house, watched by intelligence agents and also by Chris Redfield.

At least until the thing with Mia, Ethan Winters and Chris Redfield seemed to be friends, and Ethan seems to have looked up to Chris. I don't see this happening with Robbie. Not to say anything bad about Chris -- I'm not familiar enough with his character -- but his wiki page has his full career and this man has spent twenty years professionally shooting things. I just don't see Robbie getting that cozy with him, not without a long adjustment period.

Anyway, here Chris is being friendly. He's got a soft spot for orphans.

Mr. Redfield (like hell was Robbie going to call the private military contractor on whose word they had been extrajudicially deported to a Spanish-speaking country under false Mexican passports, and who had probably trained the guys who trained the guys who disappeared people for the cartels down south, “Chris”) showed up a couple times a month to supervise Robbie practicing with his illegal BSAA-issued firearms and make nice with Gabe. Gabe liked Chris. Robbie had to let them think he liked Chris, because if Chris ever decided that Robbie and Gabe were more trouble than they were worth, presumably as witnesses against Cutting-Edge Health Connections or whoever it actually was that had snatched Gabe up for his life-saving experimental “therapy,” then Chris would probably dismember them both and cremate them in an oil drum. Heck, he could probably skip the cremation step and just leave their corpses in the house. No one would find them for years.

Career-choice aside, Mr. Redfield seemed like he wanted to appear harmless. He generally arrived in a nondescript rental car, biceps straining the sleeves of his polo shirt, bearing some comics or Cholula hot sauce or something else he thought would endear him to them. Today, he trundled down the miles-long gravel drive to the house in a Toyota Tacoma. Robbie didn’t know they sold those in Spain. As he approached, Robbie spotted something mechanical and spindly in the truck bed, which resolved itself into a pair of bicycles.

“Got something for you two,” Mr. Redfield announced, getting out and lowering the tailgate. He vaulted into the bed, and motioned for Robbie to grab the bicycles as he handed them down. Robbie had to take a moment to identify a secure place to grip them; bicycles were about 80% moving parts. Robbie steadied them both awkwardly by the handles to keep them from toppling over, and Mr. Redfield jumped down with a large brightly printed box under each arm. “Casco para Bici de Montaña” and “Casco Juvenil para Bici,” the glossy boxes read. The price stickers were still in place; the helmets had each cost over fifty euros.

Mr. Redfield waved for Gabe to come over, and Gabe ran up and grabbed his helmet with both hands—“Is that for me? Do I have to give it back? Does Robbie get one?”—while Mr. Redfield used his foot to depress a metal brace near the bottom of the frames that allowed each bike to stand upright so Robbie could let go of them.

“They’re a little old-fashioned and I had to guess on the sizes,” Mr. Redfield apologized, gesturing to the bikes. “I figure they should be good enough to have some fun on, though.”

Robbie couldn’t guess what about these bikes was old-fashioned; the paint and seats had a few scrapes and there were stickers plastered to the frame of the smaller bike, but they both had actual shocks with springs and pistons and everything. Each handle had its own cluster of levers and cables. Robbie wasn’t stupid, he knew a bike was basically a big pair of gyroscopes that steadied you as they rotated and he could deduce that the levers and gears and chain served the same purpose as a manual transmission for whatever fraction of a horsepower a human’s legs produced, but understanding how one worked and actually operating one were very different. These weren’t the small one-speed bikes his peers back home might meander along the city sidewalks or pull wheelies on; these looked like the kind grinning sweaty white people rode down mountains on TV commercials for allergy medication. The saddle on the larger bike was taller than Robbie’s hip. If he tried to sit on it, neither of his feet would touch the ground. “It’s big,” he remarked.

“The seat’s not hard to adjust.”

Crap. Mr. Redfield must think Robbie was complaining. Robbie had no opinions about bicycles—no, maybe he did. Bikes were quiet, inexpensive to operate, difficult to conceal tracking devices on, simple to repair, and while they couldn’t compete with cars on the freeway, they were the next best thing for long-distance travel. And they didn’t require ID or registration. If the BSAA had meant to trap Robbie and Gabe in this off-grid house, maybe Mr. Redfield was offering them a plausibly deniable escape. Or maybe he was just irresponsible. That left only the major problem. “Gabe doesn’t know how to ride a bike.”

Mr. Redfield made as though to punch Robbie in the shoulder, and Robbie flinched before he could stop himself. Redfield completed the punch slower, lightly, the same way he insisted on manually adjusting Robbie’s posture when he supervised firearms practice, like he was doing Robbie some kind of favor by pushing his tactile boundaries. “Well, lucky he’s got you for a big bro, huh?”

“Uh, about that,” Robbie started, then froze when he heard a crumbly hiss of tires on sand, and a scream moving rapidly downhill. “¡Ay! Gabe!”

“Thought you said he didn’t know—” Mr. Redfield started, but Robbie was already sprinting around the Tacoma, between the endless shrubs, down the rocky slope after Gabe, who was hurtling toward the ocean at ten, fifteen, twenty miles an hour—toward the ocean and the rough cliffs that led down to it.

“Gabe! Stop!” Robbie stumbled on a loose rock and gasped for air. “Gabe!”

“Whoa, little dude, safety first,” Mr. Redfield called, waving the boxed helmet in one hand as he overtook Robbie without obvious effort. Maybe he was some kind of bioweapon. “Come on back here, let’s get this fitted.”

Gabe arrested his headlong course toward certain death by some kind of miracle, and turned his bike around a mere five hundred yards from the cliff. (It looked closer from Robbie’s perspective.) He stood up on the pedals to put his weight into climbing back up the hill, just like he’d had full use of his legs his entire life, before swinging down off the bike and walking the rest of the way, panting. Robbie wheezed and braced his hands on his knees when they reached each-other.

“Cliff,” Robbie managed. “Gabe. Don’t go down the cliff.”

“Wasn’t gonna,” Gabe protested. “That’d be stupid.”

“I know, I know you’re not stupid. But.” Robbie grasped desperately for some way to explain his panic besides, every time you show me something new you can do I get scared you’re possessed again. “This ground is a bad surface for braking. You could skid and lose control at high speeds.”

“I want to try on my helmet,” Gabe said, passing his bike to Robbie as he jogged up to where Mr. Redfield was opening the box. Robbie watched closely as Redfield set the helmet on Gabe and stuck little strips of foam to the inner rim wherever Gabe said it chafed him. Gabe kept trying to loosen the chinstrap until Robbie admonished, “If you cracked your head open I’d be so sad I might die.” Then Gabe slumped and let Redfield tighten the chinstrap according to the diagrams. Redfield was following the English language instructions, but Robbie noticed that he’d had to turn to the middle of the guide pamphlet to find them. The front pages were all in Spanish.

“Thought he didn’t know how,” Mr. Redfield remarked, not bothering to lower his voice despite Gabe being right there.

“Uh,” Robbie said. He still knew almost nothing of what Gabe’s life had been like while the Connections had had him, but he doubted it had included many outdoor activities. Gabe was looking away, picking at a sticker on his bike’s handlebars. “He was...away...for a while.”

“Daddy Baker taught me,” Gabe explained. His voice was quiet. “He taught Evie first. Then me. She really liked it, she made me ride for her after she got too old.”

Robbie swallowed. “You, uh. Are you happy to have your own bike now?”

“Yeah.” Gabe was still absorbed peeling off the previous owner’s stickers, but Robbie watched Mr. Redfield watching his brother with a blank, analytical expression. “Evie was really sad she couldn’t play with her real body anymore. She was nicer when I let her play with me.”

Did Gabe mean play together or play with, like a toy? Hopefully Mr. Redfield would assume Gabe meant the first one, because the second option might have left traces that might require more aggressive decontamination. “I’m really proud of you for learning how to do this,” Robbie said, trying to change the subject. “But you gotta tell me before you go out riding, okay? And stay where I can see you. I don’t want you getting lost again.”

“I wasn’t lost, I was turned around,” Gabe protested.

Mr. Redfield laughed. “Great comeback. Okay, dude. To keep from getting turned around, you just look for your major landmarks. Right here, that’s the water, that’s always gonna be South. You climb up the nearest hill, and you look for either a downhill slope, a river, or the sea itself, and you can figure it out from there.”

“See?” Gabe said, raising one eyebrow at Robbie.

Are you fucking kidding me. Robbie glared helplessly at Mr. Redfield. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Now you two can do some sight-seeing. Or,” he said, winking, “zip into town for groceries in an emergency.” What was that wink for. Was Redfield trying to warn and prepare Robbie for something, or just playing Friendly Paramilitary Babysitter? “Don’t act too excited, now.”

“Right, thanks,” Robbie said. “I, uh. I rode a motorcycle once. Bike can’t be that different?”

Redfield frowned. “You never rode a bike?”

Why was he acting shocked. He’d read their file. Foster kids couldn’t haul bikes from home to home. “Who was gonna teach me?”

“Me,” Redfield muttered. “Now. Apparently.”

“Is it a requirement?” Robbie checked.

“No, not like firearms training,” Redfield said, confirming one of Robbie’s previous suspicions and raising more questions at the same time. “But I figure you want to keep up with him.”

“Yeah.” Ahead of them, Gabe mounted his new bike again and squiggled back and forth up the hill toward the driveway. “Thanks.”

[musubiki]

limochi first kiss?

ooh gosh,,..the pressure...,,...ill jus talk about one beta version that i keep thinking about,,,,,

- so this definitely happens during the main story, most likely post-timeskip because im 100% taffy is there too and also on their side

- its also a mermaid episode because theyre called sirens for a reason

- but anyway, it happens in the middle of a fight with the mermaids. why are they fighting?? i dont know. the witches and mermaids hate each other. its just one of those fights.

- but the mermaids specialize in a siren spell thats capable of entrancing/hypnotizing males (has no effect on females), and it CAN be broken other ways, but in the middle of a fight the fastest way is a kiss

- and the spell becomes a huge problem because 1) 3/5 guild members are boys, and without them only coco is really equipped for any combat next to water, and 2) these boys will be drowned if theyre lured deep enough into the water

- and when mochi tells coco how to break the spell, cocos is like “Oh, no problem!” and she just grabs taffys collar and JUST KISSES HIM, and then DOES THE SAME TO OSCAR!!!!! (and theyre both broken out of it but also like “?!???!????/////?!?/?!/” taffy is not okay.)

- and coco shouts over to mochi something to the effect of “Now go take care of lime!” and mochi like. clamps up. her face is all red. shes panicking about stupid things in the middle of a huge problem. arguing back like “me??! with lime?? right now?!”

- and coco turns into the bad cop mom friend YELLING scoldings at mochi like “THIS ISNT THE TIME TO GET SHY WHATS WRONG WITH YOU” while mochi yells back about how theres gotta be another way or something

- and coco is like, “Damn it, mochi! if you dont get over there and kiss that boy IM GONNA DO IT and NO ONE WILL ENJOY THAT-” which mochi follows up with a frustrated and embarrassed “FINE!!” as she stomps over angrily to lime, (who, by the way, is being lured into the dark water with each passing moment )

- so mochi grabs him by the front of his jacket, and forces him to turn his head to her, and she mutters out a quiet “This is not how i wanted this to go.” and the next moment she pulls him down and props herself on her tip-toes and kisses him.

- the spell breaks and he regains consciousness as soon as her lips meet his, but the kiss lingers. for lime its one of those “for a moment i had no idea whats going on, but the love of my life is kissing me so ive lost all ability to think or reason why,” and he enjoys it. a lot.

- his hands fall on her waist and he leans into the kiss. squeezes her up against him. his lips follow hers when she pulls away. she broke the spells but now hes dazed for another reason. he unconsciously mutters out a soft “Oh...wow...” and theres hunger dripping in his tone.

- he tries to lean in to kiss her again, but theyre actually reminded that they are, in fact, in the middle of a fight, when some projectile almost whacks them in the head

- the fight ends up okay. mochi and lime. are not ok

- catch lime sitting on the floor outside the beach house where theyre staying for the episode, leaning against the wall, trying not to think about it but failing horribly. horny energy

- the Awkward Interactions(tm) that follow, complete with accidentally brushing each other resulting in frantic, loud, and embarrassingly overt apologies, making eye contact for .2 seconds and whipping their heads the other way, fidgeting, barely talking, and coco just eating popcorn in the back giggling evilly

- (taffy and oscar were also Not Okay(tm). coco was fine. shes was just “what bro its just a kiss lmfao” and taffys trying not to just. implode.) 

- mochi keeps thinking about the way he kissed her back. the way his hands clutched at the fabric of her sweater. what he muttered afterward. she kinda wants to talk about it to clear the air but theres nothing to say.

- i dont know how this episode ends i just know this probably happens 

[remade-stopframevevo]

can you tell us more about fawnstar? he is epic

he is pretty epic in a nuclear explosion kind of way

the strategy of answering oc asks by just talking until i couldnt anymore seemed to work pretty well last time so im just going to do that again. ive also been putting this ask off for too long cuz i knew it was going to take forever to answer LOL, i will note though if some things dont make sense theres a good chance im just dancing around spoiling things because hes One of Those types of ocs, you can still ask about certain things (the way im typing this has the 3 times ive said the word things lining up and its really throwing me off) but theres no guarantee i’ll be able to answer them, at least truthfully (theres like a 50% chance im going to intentionally lie about shit when answering this ask btw. just so you know <3)

anyway, fawnstar (he/they nonbiney; no last name, groveclan leaders have their surnames revoked upon leadership) is groveclan’s leader and has been for about *papers shuffling sfx* four-ish years now but dont take that as final because i just realised i dont like the age they wouldve been when they became leader lmfao

fawnstar doesn’t have any known surviving biological family. his mother, eveningeye (she/her), died two years after he became leader and was given a brief and detached funeral. their biological father was a kittypet (which is also where they got The Mane Genetic from) although fawnstar was never told that and to this day doesnt know, not that they care either. also *inserts pic of eveningeye i dont remember even drawing*

fawnstar was made leader after the previous leader, buckstar (he/him tom, also important note: groveclan leaders are chosen at birth and are named after the current leader. this is a tradition that ended with fawnstar), was killed in an ambush. around half a day after buckstar had left camp and not returned, fawnstar - fawnfur at the time - who had been in and out of camp sporadically for the past 2 months, had returned to camp alone in the midst of literally dying, said some incomprehensible shit about rogues and collapsed in the medicine cat den and was left under the care of marblepaw whilst half the clan went out looking for buckstar or any signs of rogues. buckstar’s body was never found, although rogue scent was detected on the outskirts of groveclan’s territory. as a result of this incident, the clans have become much more unforgiving and hostile toward rogues.

as the search for buckstar or any rogues was going on, marblepaw had officially declared fawnfur as dead. no one’s ever let marbleheart live down the fact they declared a cat dead only for said cat to get back up three minutes later, but they still stand by the fact that there would’ve been no way for a fatal neck wound like that to just fix itself, or for them to fix it either.

after the incident, fawnfur became leader and appointed cranecloud (who passed away about... 2 years ago from present day) as their deputy. cranecloud had to do most of the work for the first 3 weeks as fawnstar took time to physically and mentally recover from the event, their voice never fully recovered and four years later they still permanently sound like they need to clear their throat. they never really recovered mentally either.

anyway! that fun stuff aside, fawnstar is a very, very very very very lenient leader to an irritating extent to his clanmates who actually care about the warrior code, ie the hopeheart thing and how when one of his clanmates openly brought in a half floodclan kit his reaction was to shrug and go, “not my problem”. fawnstar’s only concern with the warrior code is avoiding any conflict with the other clans, to the point where he’s pushed his boundaries with each of them far enough that he’s figured out how each will react toward a public break in the code and who he’s safest to fuck up with.

speaking of the clan he’s safest to fuck up with, floodclan and groveclan have a very amicable relationship. this is more of a floodclan thing so i’ll talk more about it when i get to them/the leader, but floodclan has a very... inhabitable territory during the winter. long story short it gets flooded when the rain gets to its worst who’d have thunk it in a place where “flood” is in the name, floodclan’s way of dealing with this is splitting the clan in two and sending half of them to groveclan, who’s camp is on higher ground, until the rain passes since the Still Habitable part of the clan is too small to hold *papers shuffling sfx 2* ~26 cats all at once. usually the deputy and leader would take it in turns to visit each year, but shadowstar (he/she/they tom), floodclan’s current leader, is almost always the one to visit, unless there’s a new deputy who hasn’t taken the lead on the trip before.

there have been challenges to fawnstar’s leadership and how he’s running the clan in the past, but none ended well. despite his apparent lack of care toward anything, fawnstar is still... a very big and very intimidating cat, and a very openly “if you fuck with me im going to crush you like a bug” type of cat. he’s not dictator-like in any way, he doesn’t care enough to be, but any standoffs he’s been made to have against his own clanmates have ended in said clanmate being almost literally backed into a corner and forced to back down.

additionally they’re a very scary cat to have to come into contact with in battle. they don’t take part in them often in the rare occurences they have to happen, but groveclan has a heavy focus on training their warriors to be as effective and strong as possible which is also applied to cats who are Assigned Leader At Birth as fawnstar was. fawnstar was personally given very extreme training, and it’s one of the few things they keep from their younger life and actively makes an effort to keep in the shape they are, even despite their age. oh theyre also very scary because of the apparent immortality and not caring about pain thing! thats scary too.

anyway jesus i just noticed how long of an uninterrupted wall of text this is. im not done but here’s a warrior age fawnstar to break it up a little

to talk more in length about his relationships with others since i havent done it very specifically already heres a few i can think off of the top of my head:

rainwatcher is fawnstar’s deputy and adopted son who they took in after banishing his biological mother on grounds of neglect. even in adulthood they’re still very close. some groveclan residents think it’s a total joke that in the first election for deputy they’ve ever done it’s just a ~coincidence~ the leader’s son wins but fawnstar still refutes there would have been literally no way to fake a winner, they werent even the one counting. if anything fawnstar would have been more comfortable with someone else coming out on top, it’s not that they think rainwatcher is a bad deputy, but they’d rather anyone else in the clan be in such a “precarious” rank than their own son.

marbleheart... does not like fawnstar at all... i feel like it would be very easy to be furious (and terrified) at someone who not only seemingly died and got back up, but made sure everyone thought you were an idiot who was “hallucinating” it. there’s other reasons marbleheart doesn’t like fawnstar but you know 💅 that’s their business *touch tone telephone starts playing, but anyways*

they also have a pretty close relationship with silvermoon (she/her molly), floodclan’s deputy. i’ll talk more about silvermoon when i talk about her in her own post (she IS little ms protagonist herself after all), but silvermoon has been visiting during every winter migration to groveclan since she was a kit and has come to view fawnstar as some weird uncle figure, which is also encouraged (for lack of better word since its 8am right now and i cant think anymore) by shadowstar, silvermoon’s mentor, since he has a.. fairly close relationship with fawnstar too

i know you want me to talk about fawnstars relationship to shadowstar now after saying what i just said and im intentionally not going to <3 you will simply have to ask or wait <3

less specifically, fawnstar is typically very distant from his clanmates, apart from frequently visiting the nursery. it’s one of the only times he makes an effort to leave the clan’s garden (ill talk about what i mean by garden some other time its a territory thing lol) apart from gatherings (and seemingly wandering out into the night sometimes, but that’s his business, i guess...), he’s very watchful over the nursery and the kits and cares very deeply for each of them. arguably the only rule in the warrior code they care for is the one about protecting any and all kits.

anyways, theres definitely more but my brain isnt letting me remember other things to talk about so heres some fun little trivia facts

they have a pet family of snails in the clans garden

this story takes place in the same universe where the canon clans exist in a “what if we took the clans and pushed them (made new ones) somewhere else” way but key figures in clan history are still remembered. one time someone remarked to fawnstar, “hey, youre orange like that firestar guy apparently was” and its the hardest fawnstar had laughed in literally years

they’re gay in a “he never married” way. dont worry about what i mean by this

their least favorite ~historical figure~ is brokenstar, for obvious reasons. if he could he’d kill him three times.

he has adhd

ok thats all i have for now! feel free to ask me about anything here but ive only been awake for like 3 hours and also im very hungry so if any of this is incomprehensible it is simply not my problem!!! thank you for asking about my little war criminal!!!

[expired-blueberries]

coool coool coooooool, just realized that tumblr has a tag limit after ive already written a miniature essay in the tags of both this post and the other post and ive lost a lot of both of them. gonna try and recall everything i said now lmfao (plus the tags that DIDNT get deleted out of existence, so the part thats formatted weird is bc of that and sorry for the wall of text lmfao - the commas were tag breaks)

the way u put it abt kevin dying alone just like a rat in the gutter and ben waking up and looking for him… GOD kill me thats SOOOO good n emotional ARGH, im having so much trouble imagining how gwen would react bc like… she has NEVER gotten that close to a situation like that, like ben has gotten pretty close. hes killed ppl before (even if cannon never mentions it :/ ) and been killed, and hes left ppl for dead and been left for dead, and whether the show acknowledges it or not hes pretty well versed in this stuff, we can guess how he would act pretty easily, but gwen…. gwen to me kind of seems to live in a tower to speak, shes been around dangerous and in danger and been threatened and seen her loved ones get hurt many times , but she also seems to have lived a relatively sheltered life, whether by the way she was raised or by her own anodite heritage just. making her mind somewhat different from humans, something more free and less easy to be hurt, so then if u have her kill somebody COMPLETELY ON ACCIDENT while simultaneously being COMPLETELY AT FAULT, (and yes in canon i think shes also killed ppl but she never rly had any reaction to it), man… how would she react? to killing one of her only friends? to killing her boyfriend?, ben starts yelling at her and does she freeze or does she argue or does she break down?, i think she doesnt face any "official" consequences - like u said i think its swept under the rug, i think at BEST ben petitions to have her put on trial but its a closed trial in plumber court, no cameras and handpicked jury, rook at least seems to be friendly with kevin tho that was at the car show and friedkin, and max… well. max has signed many a death warrant, he was the one that both opened the null void portal for kevin and he barely reacted when phil was thrown into the void in os, if his granddaughter killed somebody well…, frankly even tho max acted hospitable to kevin in uaf it never seemed that he particularly cared for him to me, he acted like an adult should meaning he was hospitable and welcoming, but there wasnt any genuine attempt to reach out or anything, so i think while he might think it sad that kevin died and might think his manner of death particularly gruesome, his first and only thought is about gwen and ben (and also how to not let this get out), and then… would kevins mom (i never count harvey since it seems he and her are long divorced and i accept kevins retelling of his past as truth and not harveys), but anyway would kevins mom even BE told?, certainly not by the plumbers whom quite frankly we KNOW did nothing for her after devins death, at least not anything substantial - they dont keep tabs on her and kevin, which is why max didnt know kevin or his whereabouts, and she seemed completely forgotten about after devin died, so i think she would just be left in the dark again. it would have to be ben who tells her, and i say that bc i genuinely do not believe that gwen would have the guts to face her ,

forgot to mention but i think even if gwen were put on trial for it, and even if she completely admitted guilt, i dont think she would get in trouble for it. or, if she did, it would be like lowest possible security plumber jail lmfao. it would be declared a tragic accident that she had no way of knowing would happen and that would be it. it wouldnt even mar her record, or if it did it wouldnt affect any of her prospects in the future and would be completely hidden from all official public records. max is powerful enough for that lol

oh - my agenda was like... an anti-shipping agenda actually? lmfao. basically, i dont think gwen and kevin should be together, and gwen killing kevin would only further that lmfao, especially if it was, say, subconsciously done - she was mad at him, she shoved him out the ship "as a joke", causing his gruesome death... well, you might see how that furthers my agenda lol. but no, i think gwen and kevin were an awful ship, even in cannon - gwen often ignores and disregards his thoughts and feelings, constantly seems to not think about how his past might have affected him and the way he thinks and acts in the present, and seems to enjoy, well... hitting him. or, at least, getting physical with him. kevin, for his part, isnt as bad, but he refuses to open up and he is a very poor communicator and allows gwen to walk all over him. all of my points have cannon basis, but i, personally, am very bad at formatting my thoughts and writing them out, and that, combined with the way that fans of gwevin often come for my head when i so much as suggest they might be better with other people, has sort of dampened my desire to create a post about it lol. this opinion might come as a surprise since i do on occasion rb gwevin art, but its for the art and not the ship lol.

I don't have the emotional fortitude to write it, but the brain does sometimes mosey over to the potential aftermath of simple shit like 'the Omnitrix is programmed to prevent its wielder from dying', 'Ben is known to occasionally get the wrong alien', and 'falling from great heights is very bad for your health' coming together after Gwen shoves the boys out of the ship during Showdown to result in one dead Kevin.

Like damn but that could be one dramatic and painful storyline.

[rhodesmystery]

um. smutfic. i joked about 3hrs but then got embarrassed about posting until i bought my vow hoodie from bungie and got such a rush and now here we are lmfao 

2.5k words of pwp. god bless. charlie x mc

Charlie finds her standing by the window. Not so unusual, all things considered. One of the first places he always thought to look, whenever they happened to be together. Something about staring out, letting her thoughts get away, eased her. He knew that much. 

However, Charlie had mostly found her clothed in the other times. Or as close to it. A shirt of his that was barely hiding anything wasn’t passable, and it wasn’t the first time he was thankful they had enchanted his windows to be one-way only. He didn’t want to think what would be said about some poor soul walking past and seeing Natasha the way she was. 

With a yawn, loud enough to alert her, and a roll of his shoulders, Charlie steps completely into the room. Mismatched, with parts kitchen, living and dining, all in one. Not that he minded, as it was his. Much like her, as he happily thought, when Natasha turned. Never a hint of sleepiness in her, with bright eyes and lips half turned up into a smile. Yeah, he knew she already knew that he was awake, but it was the entrance that mattered. Especially when he scratches his chest, stomach, only to rest his hand idly on his thigh.

“Morning.” Once, Natasha told him that she loved his voice in the morning. Didn’t tell him what exactly it was she loved, but he had made a note since then to take full advantage of it.

Natasha is surprisingly quiet with her response. A tumble of ‘morning’, that’s soft and private. Charlie might’ve thought something was wrong, if her eyes weren’t pointedly south. That gets a smile out of him.

“Thought you’d still be in bed.” Idle conversation, to fill the gap between him and her. Until he took those seven exact steps to stand before her. “Missed you.”

“Did you now?” Natasha is facing him now, and he can see his shirt was open, not even buttoned in some vague attempt for decency. Like this was some grand scheme of hers (and he was playing right into her hand). “I’m sorry.” Her lack of sincerity was hilarious, and his laughter was infectious, as she giggles to herself. Enough to distract him again. 

Charlie always liked her tits. Or, maybe he should call them breasts outright, to add some politeness to the conversation. But Natasha clasps her hands behind her back, purposely jutting them out at him, that he can see the swell of each, and how the shirt was barely holding on to cover her nipples. He was definitely going to commit this to memory.

“You should be.” Still trying to keep his tone vague. Not focus on how he could almost follow an arrow that pointed down, between her breasts, over her stomach. Like everything was shouting look at me, and he ate it up. Taking a lot for him not to just sink to his knees and eat her until she screamed his name. Forecast was telling him that was his immediate future.

With a fleeting look back at Natasha’s face, to gauge where she was at, Charlie gets a rather satisfied smile. Yeah, yeah, she read his thoughts, thought herself to be so smart about it too. Not like he wasn’t being obvious about it, cock at half mast already just thinking about her. Natasha, in his shirt, unbuttoned and open, and legs spread just enough, leaning against the window, a hand idly running down her front. Like he hadn’t already had that image in his mind since he’d walked out the bedroom.

“What ever can I do to make it up to you?” And the lines were corny, something out of the really bad movies she was fond of mimicking, except with the way she punctuates her words, making it different. Implications abound.

Charlie moves in a bit closer, a half step forward. Until there’s not else in his vision except her, her lips, her eyes, the spattering of freckles over her nose and the mismatched scars along her jaw. Practically swims in the green, noticing they were darker than any other day. And he loved why he knew that happened. Natasha kisses him, and it’s slow, deep, the only touch. Just the tilt of their heads, the slide of their tongues, and each other. Nothing more, nothing less.

Eventually, it’s his turn to make the move. And not to romanticise their positions, knight takes queen, pushing her against the window, pressing against her entirely. Never breaking the kiss, just hands trying to pull the shirt off, to find skin, only to end up with it tangled around her elbows. To trace along the curve of her spine as she arches into him. Natasha moans against his mouth, her nails burning into his shoulders, Charlie please. Please, the real magic word. Held a lot of weight, when applied properly. Like how it sits pleasantly on his head, as he begins a trail down.

Soft kisses, trying to catch every inch he could. Charlie could never tire of this, even if he knew how embarrassed she got. How she insisted on reciprocating. Not that he minded that outcome, of course, but there was something to be said for how Natasha’s face would look, when he looked up at her. Always partway there to covering her mouth, eyes heavy and hair a mess. Chest heaving, and a flush that coloured her pink. He didn’t know how many times he was up to, with calling her beautiful, but he was bound to crack a thousand eventually, surely. 

Natasha just snorts, trying to play off her embarrassment. Hand on his head, edging him down further. Charlie can only grin, kneeling as comfortably as he could, hands on her thighs. Encourages her wider for him, further still. Fingers tease her nipples, and Charlie can only savour the first strong lick in response. 

Something almost like a hiccup escapes her, and Natasha visibly shudders. With two fingers, Charlie parts her lips, and finds exactly what he wants. What he knew would have her all but shake on him. Charlie sucks, nips, laves her clit with attention, trying desperately to keep his eyes closed, but unable to stop from looking up. He loves when she looks like that, flustered and letting control go. 

Fingers that had spread her move to touch, to feel. Dragging across her seam, barely pressing against her. Charlie has to stop from smiling, when he feels the telltale buck as with one finger, he drives in a little further, but never quite enough. So soon? he thinks, but doesn’t complain. Not like he wasn’t in the same boat. At that thought, Charlie runs a hand over himself, pulling away from her clit only to look down, notice he was leaking. 

Not that he wanted to hurry, but with another twist of his wrist against his cock, he turns back. Ah well, he could make it up to her later. 

Tongue pressing against her, Charlie edges in. The slick sounds, normally off-putting in any other circumstance, always made Natasha a little weaker in the knees. Or it might’ve just been his good work, as she’s saying his name, muffled only by the sleeve of the shirt. Fingers circle her clit, and his free hand pulls at her cheek, massaging, spreading. A barely there teasing touch, against her ass, until he leans back again. 

Switching hands, replacing tongue with fingers, Charlie turns to watching her carefully. How her face may contort into something other than pleasure, when he presses one finger in. Slow, turning, brushing along her inner walls. Last night she’d mentioned that she was sore, a little more than usual. Perhaps Natasha knew what he was looking for, in how she meets his eye entirely, whispering his name as a second finger joins the first. No outward signs of discomfort, especially not when her fingers twist in his hair, tugging strands with a certain amount of force.

“Feels good?” Charlie has to ask, anyway. Can’t help himself. 

Natasha huffs, sending hair flying up. “Yes, Charlie, Merlin’s beard, if you don’t make me come, I swear—”

Even though he’s laughing, he cuts her off. One somewhat satisfied customer then. Curls his fingers, thumb pressing against her clit, and laves attention on what skin he could find with his tongue. Scissors his fingers, free hand perhaps the only thing holding her upright as she all but presses her weight down on his shoulders. From how she bent over him, Charlie could hear her whispers clearer, her pleads. 

Nope, not letting go until she’d come, good and hard. She's shuddering, Charlie yes please right there god yes. Charlie knew about the muggle god that her father’s family worshipped. It was oddly satisfying to hear that name mix in with his, to the point where he didn’t know who was who, as he pumped his fingers in and out of her. 

Natasha comes with a low, long moan. Not her first orgasm, no sir, but definitely one that has her lock up and quiver all at once. Charlie rides her through it, slow circles drawn out, just how she liked. Knew exactly where to touch, where to hold, as she comes down. Time isn’t a concept, as Natasha struggles to push herself back up, eventually leans against the window for support.

And then she says: “You’ve gotten better at that.” As if she’s not heaving in air, sensitivity overloading with how Charlie can’t seem to run a hand up her legs without her nearly giving out.

“I’ve had practice,” is what he says instead. If only because he’s getting a kick out of how he splays his fingers over her stomach, and she has to close her eyes. Bite her lip. 

Puffs of air that resemble try to resemble a laugh leaver her. “Oh, really? What’s her name?” Natasha tries to keep the conversation light and teasing, but Charlie knew. Probably a light draft would have her tumble over once again, if aimed right.

“Natasha. You probably don’t know her. Great gal. Fantastic tits.”

When she laughs, it’s the best sound Charlie had heard in months. Head thrown back, genuine kind of laugh, that ignores the situation and encompasses it all at once. Natasha grins, slack and easy, running a finger over his lips. Charlie chases it, nibbling on the tip, which earns him a pointed look. One he was quite happy to keep around. 

Leaning in, Natasha kisses him. Hot and wet, far too much tongue, and he knows that she can taste herself. The knot in his stomach tightens, acutely aware of how he was running warmer than usual. Along her lower back, Charlie drags his nails, finds her hips. Palms her into turning around, breaking the kiss despite her noise of disapproval. And he might’ve told her that if she just asked him to come on command, he would’ve then and there, except Charlie manages to get her with her back to him, hands firmly planted on the window. 

As Charlie rights himself, one hand firmly stroking his cock as he lines himself up, does he notice how Natasha turns to look over her shoulder. As if regaining some bravado in that moment, she smirks, wiggles her hips. 

“This is new for you.” 

With a snort, Charlie can only settle for giving her ass a light slap. “Shut up.” Perhaps he was a little mollified. Not to say that he was the most adventurous, as he knew he wasn’t and more often than not blushed his way into Natasha all but dominating. Definitely not his fault that he was far more favourable of the lower end of the scale. 

Fine, fine. If she was going to be all smarmy about him branching out, then he'd show her! As long as he could figure out how to stop his ears from burning as he eased his way in. Charlie moans, as she's twitchy and wet around his cock, not helping how Natasha pushes up onto her toes, fingers pressed against the glass. With a few blinks, Charlie is able to see just how the glass steamed in front of her, with every breath she took.

“I’m gonna move.”

“Thank god.”

Chuckles dissolve into pitches in breathing. Like there was just not enough oxygen in the room, and Charlie was definitely a little dizzy, enamoured, whatever, when he grips her hips and pulls her back to meet his thrust. Pushes a hand up, moving the damned shirt up with it, following the arch of her back. Until he lets it fall back again, settling for her shoulder to hold instead. 

Natasha isn’t quiet. Not by a long shot. Settled for thanking her later that she’d been the one to soundproof the house on her arrival. Faster harder Charlie pleasepleaseplease. And he tries to keep up what she’s saying, how he lets go of her hip to palm his way to her front. Find her clit and rub at it furiously, which does nothing except have her cover a moan with her arm. Even as she twitches, tries to pull away, tries to keep meeting him thrust for thrust, Charlie keeps at it. Nothing if not consistent. One of her hands joins his, Natasha’s fingers slipping along his, brushing what was exposed of his cock as he continued to move inside her. 

It's when he presses his forehead between her shoulder blades, does Charlie struggle. Hand slipping from her shoulder, he finds her hand against the window, threading fingers and gripping until his knuckles turn white. Embarrassingly so, holding her firmly against him as he comes. Moans against her skin, something that was definitely her name if a little garbled, until she follows only seconds later. 

Charlie doesn’t know how to move. Limbs felt heavy and light all at once, as if he moved even one foot, he’ll just fall flat on his face, either way. Blinking, the world doesn't stop spinning. Not yet, but he gingerly slides himself out. Regrettably, and “sorry,” when he spies the telltale spill begin to trail down her thighs. Too bad he was tired, or it might’ve been able to roll him into action, strangely so (except, he was acutely aware that his lower half was almost numb, brain fuzzy, eyes only trying to find her face).

As she turns, Natasha faces him with heavily lidded eyes, and a very pleased smile. “It’s fine.” But she’s leaning against the window, as if she didn’t trust her own legs too. With a blush that spread to the tops of her breasts, hair mussed and eyes dark, Charlie knew she was beautiful. And told her just that.

Eventually, she slides down, landing on the ground with a grunt. Charlie follows suit, wobbly and flushed, bumping shoulders when he’s beside her. Natasha kicks a leg over his, idly playing with what he could now consider her shirt, until she pulls it up and holds it at her front. Tilting his head back, Charlie closes his eyes, finds her hand, and squeezes it fiercely. 

For several minutes they sit just so. Until, with a sigh, Natasha rolls her head towards him. “Want breakfast?”

Charlie grins, one that slowly builds, that doesn’t even try to hide what he was going to say next. Opening one eye, he looks at her. “I already ate.”

[tamiddyinyourcity]

2:01pm.

Not feeling very cash money at this moment, but I'll get in the swing of things later today. :)

Tuesday, April 28th of 2020.

Let's seeee....

Got complimented by three very awesome women lately on the videos and content I've been making lately. Yessssss! I love it so mucccccchhhh!

That literally had me waking up with a smile, honestly.

Got mildly annoyed reading up on hypergamous stuff. I love it, I just hate that I never knew it sooner. Or, that I did, before I foolishly decide to care about men when I was 16 or so, aaaaaaand that lead to many problems.

But my experiences have their ups and downs. The first guy was okay until he was a salt at the end, second guy did some gross coercion AND turned into a salt, the third guy... I think that mildly obese white guy was okay, just extremely passive aggressive about me wearing a pretty tame blazer to a restaurant.... (Sorry I didn't opt for a jean jacket and a mini skirt, to a high class restaurant, idiot?) Then the Dr Rex guy, who I guess I could've kept the interest of a little longer, if I kept him in the "She's not even pretending to like our date! I must impress her at all costs now and obsess over her!", stage, buuuut a girl needed extra money, so, I got extra money. Thats that. And then that one prick tech guy who decided to stand me up completely out of the blue aaaaand I wasted time getting all dolled up, moisturized, and shaved juuust to spend what little cash I had on the uber and train to the area.... I legitimately had a panic attack, plus a few dudes kept staring at me, since yknow, young lady in a black satin trench coat and heels looking stressed out against a wall for like 30 minutes, or borderline crying in a Carl's Jr, is a little eyecatching, so I feel you bro. Aaaaaand of course then there was that weird flaccid guy that pretty much put on a random and tried to dryhump my vulva/clit with his limp weenie..... (Which then was an attempted rape, but I kicked him in the chest, got home, aaaand posted about it onto a forum and on here so other women would be aware.) Then after a long break from the bowl, I got another guy who seemed nearly perfect.... until he ALSO attempted sexual assault, and I left immediately. Theeeen that date with some famous philosopher and writer, who basically spent the entire date loudly talking about how none of his wives wanted to bang him since his dick was too huge, (lmfao,) and all the escorts and threesomes hes done for hismself.... He's a fucking weirdo and we never ended up having an arrangement. Which was a shame, since he wanted a high amount with me and liked my inability to see much taboo. And that other guy who was a millionaire or something, but refused to actually give me an allowance... Food and a movie with 140 bucks just to hold your hand is cool, but asking for kissing and heavy petting while not having the spine to actually give a full allowance estimate? Fuck that shit, man.

So overall, gonna raise my standards impossibly high and never lower them. I want dates in lovely and elegant settings, polite and attractive men, and not having a hassle from whoever I be with whatever, period.

And probably gonna see if abstaining from sex is possible. It should be, since men are fucking disappointments no matter if romantic, strictly sexual, and even as friends can kind of piss me off.

The Adam and Eve shit I bought is.... Well, let's just say that internal bleeding isn't fun for me. And fake dicks do not feel as good as real ones. At least they're not attached to men who will be stuck in my thoughts for months. So, there's that. And no STDs. No risk.... and yet no fun.

Really hard to sit in a room by myself and be horny, but then have all arousal go away at the idea of using a non-realistic sex toy inside of my hoohaa. Penetrative sex doesn't do it for me, never liked it unless it was either a rare moment where a man had good fingers, or simply, a real ass dick.

Plus, I challenged myself to grow my nails out in quarantine, to look more feminine..... Its impossible to... yknow.... feels like Freddy Krueger giving me a handjob or something. Ouch, dude. Why oh why, why why why why why why why

No wonder I'm so stressed lately. No sleep, no fap + no fun, make mia go crazy

When's the part where I break out of my house during quarantine with an axe?

Anyway.

I feel incredibly close to having my shit together.... So close.... yet still not fully there yet.

Mainly just due to being in my bedroom and not knowing when it will finally be complete, and when I can wake up, play the guitar, sing a song, or set up my YT studio.... versus, when I'll be having just another day of a cluttered floor and drawers upon drswers of things I dont wanna touch, paralyzing me in bed with stress, for days on end.

Sigh.

Oh well. Still doing pretty awesome. Glad to be alive and existing on the planet today. The sun is out here shining and its bluer than a..... (insert blue object here) in the sky today. It makes me happy, knowing that maybe someday I'll be able to go back outside again.

2:37pm.

I need to take a little better care of myself......... hygiene wise, sleep wise, and some healthy food....

But cleaning nonstop and purging my bedroom all the time gets to me, so I'll take it easy on myself. Things happen, I just should give myself the luxury and privilege to unwind, since I truly do deserve it after all the impressive work I've done in the past few weeks. And even days. :)

I'm living in one of the best possible timelines, right now. :)

Its so cool.

Peace out yalls.

[kosmicdream]

Temp. FFAK Official Timeline

This is a very rough, temp timeline for FFAK. It mostly covers events that have already happened or at least have been mentioned. I dont really cover anything that is happening in the present day timeline lol. I might make edits to this in case i fucked up in places or maybe ill just do a totally new one at some point! you dont even know how messy my actual one is like my god its an ever worse horrible clusterfuck of text. (Also remember, the ffak story has no time travel so dont be worried about that sort of mindfuckery!) enjoy

Years before 1414: Whenever was 600 million years ago i dont want to do the exact math: Evil Mother is born but shes not called that at all cuz she adopts that name later in life but just know she is here and readt to party Lots of stuff happens. like idk. evolution and life. 600 mil years is a long time ok -LALALA -HUMANS AT SOME POINT COME TO BEING.and form civilization and.. all that -modern human society exist! ppl have tvs and such. -Mandragora Worms have gone ‘extinct’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ooooo -??????????? a ton of other stuff. isnt history cool?? kicks legs, yells -mysterious worm break outs all over dmtia. bombs fall. wars. despair!  -Grant Lumberman gets a doggy at some point and loves it but then it dies and so does his family and friends and his whole city he is relocated to the Auseklis moon colony (on Dmtia’s moon!) along w/ other Vena Cavian kiddos !!!! (in yr 1414)

YEAR 1415 [Scene From Ch. 11: Pages 3161-3196, 3400-3401] Characters: Randall Aiguille - Age 20 Mr. Rotten (Which was named “Aeschylus” at the time, created by Randall) Crosshatch Unit (sort of) Rembrandt Aiguille - Age 22 Grant Lumberman (Aka, ‘Good Leadman’) - Age 14 Octavian “Otto" Silverberg - Age 15 (I was gonna type up every referenced scene like this then i was like fuck it thats too hard! lol)

Years 1416-1425 ?????????????? (most events likely will be mostly covered in a prequel series.) YEAR 1420: Crosshatch Unit first programmed/built by Randall/Rembrandt Aiguille leadman and evil mother fall in lurv at some point

YEAR 1426 Miracle Baby Crimson is Born (From Good Leadman/Evil Mother worm fuck action yeehaw)

YEAR 1427 -Crimson’s 2 eyes are removed + Evil Mother Believes they are dead and leaves Leadman to work with Tricend -Canary is Born (From Evil Mother, and a King Worm) -Hekatons are made (From The King worm that made Canary, concept of Hekatons is from Evil Mother) -July 8th: Perkons Hatches and will not let anyone near the other 4 eggs!! stay away

YEAR 1428 - Good Leadman (Age 27) and Perkons (6 months old) Meet (Happens in Jan) (Multiple scenes in ch10, continued in Ch11) Perkons turns 1 in July. -Perkons gets a hold of 1 of Crimson’s eyes at some point, turns it into a Knife.

YEAR 1429 - Perkons turns 2 in july and is a fully matured adult. Rest of the 4 hekatons eggs hatch sometime after in that year. -Dievas assumes protective guardian role for his siblings.  -Dievas meets Aeschylus. (ch11) YEAR 1430 Perkons turns 3. The rest of the first hekatons are one. During this year they mature to an adult. YEAR 1431 Lauma meets Velns, who is imprisoned. Then shortly after, Perkons confronts Lauma, she is 2, he is 4. So It took place after July 1431. He transforms the 2nd crimson eye into a Spoon in front of her.

Years 1431-1448 (specific dates not all disclosed sry): -Velns/Lauma, Dievas/Laima begin making children. baby baby baby! YEAR 1438 - Crimson (Age 11) is eaten by a Hydragora Queen worm - loosing her human body in the process but gaining a worm one instead. -Crimson runs around in a destroyed city, holding a corpse. Meets Velns who taunts them. -Lauma and Dievas make up, and have their first nest together- a Batch of A/B hybrid eggs. -Lauma is killed by Perkons -Velns is killed by Perkons (Which was also on Dmtia’s Moon, so the moon is destroyed.) -Laima is “killed” by Perkons. (Actually survived, as part of Dievas’ plan.) -Perkons confronts Dievas with the Crosshatch Unit and mention they fight for Peace and under the “Thumb” alliance. Perkons kills Dievas. (scene in ch11) -Laima escapes with A/B Eggs, as well as other hekaton eggs. (and will later form the Ghost Kingdom, which she rules as queen.) ????? many other things happen????? these were some busy years folks

YEAR 1449 -Crimson meets a Helper, Galore the Hekaton, and a Bunny worm (who will later grow up to be agent Paper) in the forests of DMTIA (Ch9) -Galore “meets" her first parents, Lauma and Velns, in some mysterious coma dream thing from listening to crims sexy magical heartbeat (also Ch9) ??????????more events happen??????????? -Galore “Dies” by exploding. Crimson witnesses it. -Bunny wormed named Cirrus “Dies” and is buried in a grave. However, she was only injured she later climbs out only to witness Crimson and Celadon leave in Crimson’s truck and it was the saddest thing ive had to draw ok. i am crying even remembering it ??????????more secret events this was yet another busy and traumatizing year for crimson????????????? -Months later, Crimson (age 23) has a conversation with her third mandragora heart, and ends up having a period sex masterbate-y fantasy that made many readers scream in terror when they read it.(Ch11)

Years 1450-1904 god so much stuff happens during this time, lays on the ground. i mean just fucking look at how much time that is. thats over 450 years lol nbd right

YEAR 1905 -Agent Knife is sent on a remote mission (back to Planet Dmtia) to hunt down one of thumbs most wanted criminals, a man named “SIMON MCGOLD” -After months of searching/failed attempts at locating him, Knife confronts and is stung by Simon’s close personal bodyguard, a queen worm named Nail who is famous for killing over 50,000 Hekatons. (Gaining him the nickname “Hekaton Hunter.” (CH12) -?????????? more stuff happens like you dont even know????????

Years 1906-1924 ??????????? lots of stuff??????? lets laugh at some spoon stuff together tho -Spoon thinks Knife is stupid but weirdly interesting i guess -Spoon tries to pretend hes not in love w/ knife cuz thats like??? g...ay??? -Spoon realizes he’s totally hot for Knife and decides hes gonna totally seduce him -Spoon realizes flirting isnt going well with knife and is actually rly deeply hurt by rejection and so he tries to sleep around w/ other ppl  to pretend hes fine cuz w/e!! who cares -Spoon realizes hes totally in love w/ Knife and is devastated by Deeply Gay emotions -Spoon moves in w/ Knife and spoon tries to pretend he is fine w/ just being Knife’s obsessively devotedly loyal but not romantic/sexual partner. just ttly... platonic.. best dude pals..!!! who murder together -Spoon realizes he cannot handle just being friends and attempts to move out cuz he just is having a meltdown -Knifes like chill we’re already dating and Spoon is like “wtf we are?” and knife’s like “why else would i let you move in w/ me” and spoon just stares at a wall for like 12 hrs in shock -They start to officially for real date™ after spoon regains contact with reality -???????stuff??????? -Spoon dresses up as AGENT BEE!!!!!!!!!!!! THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENT IN ALL OF HISTORY HANDS DOWN MARK UR CALENDARS 

YEAR 1925 July 8th - Simon (now Agent Spoon) has been in a relationship with Knife for 20 years. He meets Celadon #1. Location is the forests on the moon THUMB HQ. who is rightfully pissed as fuck at him. kick his ass, girl (she does btw) (ch11)

YEAR 1926 -Knife Adopts a tiny perfect adorable fluffball c-type and names him Kurt. -Spoon hates it like more than anything ever -Spoon and Knife end up having to live separately, causing a huge strain in their relationship.

Years 1927-1936 -feeling neglected, Spoon starts to sleep around, including the Crosshatch unit and becomes p close friends w/ them! its actually a positive thing for once. wtf (ch11) -Kurt becomes Agent Fork and works alongside Agent Knife on missions and its adorable and great but knife’s depression is also growing bc he misses spoon

YEAR 1937 Cash Leadman is born! :D

YEAR 1938 Rome Aiguille is born! he doesnt even hate worms at this point! Years 1939-1955 more stuff. ect. 

YEAR 1956 -Locket confronts Knife. Knife is so traumatized from meeting a surprise biological child that he has a meltdown and vanishes. he is then believed to have died. -Spoon Explodes from sadness of the news, but does not die. Half of him leaves to Cash Leadman’s house, who convinces him to keep living. He becomes “Scissor”, using her former crosshatch robot body. (ch11) -The other half meets Locket and has his Spoon stolen from him. very sads. Also cant wear thongs anymore (ch11)

YEAR 1957 -At some point during this year, Spoon kills Agent Rock’s dad and also prevents Fork from being able to enter Wibbleworld (his dream). (Scene in ch8) -Fork goes back to prison (guess what, it wasnt his first time goin’ there!) 

YEAR 1958-present -the death of rock’s hot dad springs a chain reaction of all his sons trying to kill spoon and getting revenge. Spoon successfully kills them all though lmfao. dont fuck with the leg.  -fork breaks up with dollop and she starts stalking him

YEAR 1961 -Dylan and Agent Knife meet in Wibbleworld moon, on July 8th (his birthday) He reveals secrets to her. (ch11) -Dylan/Celadon and Antony believe they are successful at killing Agent Knife on this same day.

YEAR 1962 -Feb 2 - Aeschylus wakes up in LEVEL K of the Crosshatch Colony (The Aiguille Moon) and is escorted by Antony Aiguille (Age 21) and Celadon #1, #2 and #3. Dylan and Barfy show up. (Ch 11) -Dylan tries to convince Antony not to get eaten (and fails) (ch12) -March - A mysterious earthquake and worm outbreak kills 20,000 residents in the Crosshatch Colony. O_O  -July 7th - Fork meets Dylan for the first time. :3 (Another serving episode one!) -July 8th: This is where the present timeline begins! Canary wakes up on a platform. Hooray! we made it. i dont feel like typing out the events u can just read the comic i guess lol. farts! 

YEAR 1963: Hasnt actually happened yet, but the final feast is said to occur this year!!!!!!! O_O ooo  EDIT: one of the events were out of order, but this has been fixed (8/19/2017) 

[cerealmonster15]

Overwatch for the meme? Or Rvb if you'd prefer~

since i just did rvb i’ll do overwatch !!

my all-time ultimate fave character: LUCIO IS MY BOY AND I LOVE HIM WITH MY ENTIRE HEART AND ALSO SOULa character I didn’t used to like but now do: hmmmmm i guess i was a little more intrigued about symetra after reading her comic but im p indifferent about her / my feelings about most characters stayed pretty static?but maybe i like dva more than i initially did as well? shrug??a character I used to like but now don’t: shrugsa character I’m indifferent about: i just keep forgetting a lot of characters that arent lucio exist-ACTUALLY: WINSTON. I FORGET WINSTON ALL THE TIME BC NO ONE TALKS ABOUT HIM EVEN THO HES FAIRLY BIG IN SOME OF THE CINEMATIC STORYLINESa character who deserved better: i want lucio and dva shorts plz tell me more backstory, or at least a comica ship I’ve never been able to get into: non platonic mccree/reyes kinda rubs me the wrong waya ship I’ve never been able to get over: haha lucio/junkrat was kinda my first ow ship so i still like it :”)a cute, low-key ship: genji/zenyatta is soft and sweetan unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: actually i think reinhardt/torbjorn was my first ow ship bc theyre old friends with fun banter lines lmfao let me livea ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: the only one that i know of that’s happened is tracer and her gf but that is pure and good and wonderful somy favourite storyline/moment: when lucio does the woosh  woosh with his skates on the walls. thats my favorite plotlinea storyline that never should have been written: im not deep enough into the lore lol i forget a lot of detalsmy first thoughts on the show game: “eeeeehhhh is it worth $40 dollars tho”my thoughts now: OH LET’S BREAK IT DOWN

[okwilliamson]

should be doing homework but im sexting my boy and answering survey questions

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? - ummm i really dont know, syd, seany, evie, luke or bae at home lol 

2. Are you outgoing or shy? - mostly shy but when something i want is in the sights i might as well be outgoing to get what i want 

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? - BAE 

4. Are you easy to get along with? - I think i am easy to get along with, i look mean at first i think and i have trouble controlling my facial expressions lmfao 

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? - yeah i think so 

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? -  fucked up sad boys who will crush my heart / boys in general im straight af to clarify/ but boys with big lips and nice eyes / someone whos funny / someone who will watch shitty movies w me/ BUT if this is just about people in general im attracted to shit lords like myself 

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - um actually maybe? 

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? - my bab 

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - no i love talking about sex 

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - umm i have deep convos with everyone lol so probs today with syd and clayton 

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? - ‘omw’ 

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - oh sheesh idk ive been listening to throwback shit from middle school and also hamilton 

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?- honestly the thing i like most in the world 

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? - luck yes, miracles not really bc i feel like that has a religious connotation 

15. What good thing happened this summer? -  i slept with someone new 

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? - would i? yes...should i? not at all lol 

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? - there has to be right 

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? - bro what how would that even be possible 

19. Do you like bubble baths?- yeaaaa but never have the chance i dont have bathtubs in my dorm room 

20. Do you like your neighbors? - i dont even know my neighbors at all i know the girl next to me is named jackie and shes nice 

21. What are you bad habits? -  im a mess all the time like i dont clean up after myself, i dont even care if im living in trash ill just keep adding more trash to the pile. i dont shower enough lol, and im obsessive 

22. Where would you like to travel? -  anywhere!! i wanna go west 

23. Do you have trust issues? - yes kinda, i have a hard time being vulnerable with people bc i build up this wall to keep myself hard and safe away from potential sadness x d 

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? - umm makeup probably :) 

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - probs my double chin lmfao but i can take selfies and look good anyways 

26. What do you do when you wake up? - i like have to pee as soon as i wake up 

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? -  im good with my skin tone tbh but it would be nice to be able to tan vs burn 

28. Who are you most comfortable around? - syd, evie, luke, mik, bella, my sister 4 sure, 

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? -  no lol 

30. Do you ever want to get married? - ummm idk im not really like super hype to the idea but it could be cool 

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? -  ya girl has a buzz cut lol 

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? - wowwie idk 

33. Spell your name with your chin. - miss me w that 

34. Do you play sports? What sports? - literally no sports are like the least interesting thing in my opinion 

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? - shit idk thats so hard bc i use tv as like back ground noise a lot of the time but music helps me with everything else i cant choose 

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - ummmm yes 

37. What do you say during awkward silences? - depends on why its awkward 

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? -  xd i dont need this 

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? - lovesick, xxi?? thats about it oh and thrift stores!!!!! 

40. What do you want to do after high school? - bitc im doin it im in art school 

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?- yes for sure i give everyone a lot of chances 

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? - im sick/sad/angry lol

43. Do you smile at strangers? - i try to 

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? - outer space 

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? - classes bb 

46. What are you paranoid about?- money all the time 

47. Have you ever been high? - yes lol 

48. Have you ever been drunk? - also yes 

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? - ummmmmm yikes idk no not really 

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? - green 

51. Ever wished you were someone else? - i used to but not recently 

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? - work ethic 

53. Favourite makeup brand? - sheesh i think jeffree star cosmetics & lime crime 

54. Favourite store? - not sure 

55. Favourite blog? - probs claudias 

56. Favourite colour?- pink 

57. Favourite food? - pizza i think 

58. Last thing you ate? - pizza lol

59. First thing you ate this morning?- i didnt eat this morning 

60. Ever won a competition? For what? - no i dony think so 

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?- nah 

62. Been arrested? For what?- nope 

63. Ever been in love? - i believe so! i fall in love with people all the time lol 

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?- i was in 8th grade and his name was garrett and he was my first bf ever and we kissed on my front porch it was very cliche 

65. Are you hungry right now? - for the first time in a while actually yes 

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? - literally no i dont really have tumblr friends 

67. Facebook or Twitter? - twitter 68. Twitter or Tumblr? - this is tough bc i frequent both but probs tumblr 

69. Are you watching tv right now? - nope

70. Names of your bestfriends? - claudia, syd, evie, luke, mik, bella 

71. Craving something? What? - HUMMUS 

72. What colour are your towels? - one is like peachy and the other one is purple but i never use that one bc i cleaned up fruit juice off the floor w it and never cleaned it lol 

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? - a lot like 3 pillows and i use blankets as like body pillows for that snuggly vibe 

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? - just one hello kitty lol 

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? - total i have quite a few but i dont bring them to school with me 

75. Favourite animal? - ummm i really dont know tbh 

76. What colour is your underwear? - black 

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla for ice cream / chocolate for like cupcakes or cake 

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? - tbh mint choco chip or phish food by ben and jerrys 

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? - currently just chilling in my bra fam 

80. What colour pants? - black leggings lol 

81. Favourite tv show? - right now the office for sure / but also my 600 lb life 

82. Favourite movie? -  i have so many , django unchained, perks of being a wallflower, across the universe, i lowkey love the twilight series?? idk im not well versed in classic film just shitty films that have a special place in my heart 

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? - this is an ugly quest but the original mean girls 4 sure 

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? - mean girls lmao 

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? -janice lol 

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? - bro idk finding nemo is not something i think about a lot lolol but probs the badass fish jawn w his ripped up fin 

87. First person you talked to today?- my sister 

88. Last person you talked to today?- just now syd 

89. Name a person you hate? - donald trump 

90. Name a person you love? - claudia <3 

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - um not currently except maybe if my illness was personified then i would punch that bitch 

92. In a fight with someone? - i dont fight w people lol 

93. How many sweatpants do you have? - literally 1 pair i think 

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? - SO many lol 

95. Last movie you watched? - twilight last night lol 

96. Favourite actress? - hmmm, i love charlize theron, kristen stewart but not bc of twilight her other movies are fire 

  97. Favourite actor? i love tom hardy, eddie redmayne, john boyega 

98. Do you tan a lot?- not at all 

99. Have any pets?  - one cat named Bo 

100. How are you feeling? - kinda shit but ok 

101. Do you type fast? - pretty fast, working in call centers get ur typing skills on fleek lol 

102. Do you regret anything from your past? - a few things of course but at the same time whats the point in regretting things you know, it just gives you more baggage to carry around and that shit sucks 

103. Can you spell well? - for the most part i think but sometimes shits questionable lol 

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? - ummm no not really 

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? - yes i have it was a strange experience 

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? - no way bruh people break my heart all the time tho it seems lol 

107. Have you ever been on a horse? - yes but i was like 8 i think i was sooo young 

108. What should you be doing? - im chillin 

109. Is something irritating you right now? - BEING SICK  

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? - yessssss 

111. Do you have trust issues? - not so much trust issues but i have a hard time putting my walls down for people 

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? - ummm syd and luke hahah 

113. What was your childhood nickname? - liv, livy, liver, livy loo ( my mom calls me this when shes salty at me) my dad has always called me scooter crunch i have no idea what thats from, or any variation sometimes its just scooter and recently he called me scooter mc crunchy and that was even a lot for me lol , oh and olive!! 

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? - yes ive been out of ohio but not to anywhere very exciting 

115. Do you play the Wii? - i did once upon a time 

116. Are you listening to music right now? - yes frank ocean’s blond album 

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?- i mean its fine 

118. Do you like Chinese food? - i love it but only from like select places bc mediocre chinese is always kinda a let down 

119. Favourite book? - harry potter series, perks, sula, 

120. Are you afraid of the dark?- sadly yes 

121. Are you mean? - i am sometimes lol i cant even lie 

122. Is cheating ever okay? - i dont think so 

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? - dude no 

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? - this is always a question in these 

125. Do you believe in true love? - ofc 

126. Are you currently bored? - nah im cool 

127. What makes you happy? - makeup, photography, my friends, my sister 

128. Would you change your name? - no ive never thought of something that suits me more than olivia, which is why im cool with my nicknames 

129. What your zodiac sign? - scorpio 

130. Do you like subway? - as in sandwhiches yes lol 

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? - i would be shocked lmfao 

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? - ummm idk ive been kind of mia recently from being sick but probs syd 

133. Favourite lyrics right now? - the whole wiped out album by the neighbourhood 

134. Can you count to one million? - ive never tried and i probably never will but on principal yes i can count 

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? umm idk that im ok? i try not to lie about trivial things but if im sad or something and someone im not comfy w asks me about it ill just be like yeh im good 

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? - closed i live in a dorm room lol 

137. How tall are you? -5′6 

138. Curly or Straight hair?- i have a buzz cut so neither 

139. Brunette or Blonde? - is this an opinion question bc i have blue hair so like 

140. Summer or Winter? - man im more of a fall/spring type 

141. Night or Day? - day i think 

142. Favourite month? - november but im really tired of my friends trying to kill themselves in my birthday month tbh LOL 

143. Are you a vegetarian? - no but maybe i should be so i wouldnt be so fucking sick all the time 

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk 

145. Tea or Coffee? - i really like both 

146. Was today a good day? - my day hasnt even really started 

147. Mars or Snickers? - snickers i guess  148. What’s your favourite quote? - i dont really have one tbh 

149. Do you believe in ghosts? - yuh 

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? -  the only book i have with me is my science book and thats not interesting at all so lol imma skip this one 

[wejustsurvive]

1-150

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? i actually think its haley XD if not her then sam2. Are you outgoing or shy? im in between. new people make me shy, but i can be outgoing with people im comfortable with3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? meh4. Are you easy to get along with? i think so5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? i can take care of myself thanks6. What kind of people are you attracted to? the wrong kind7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? who knows8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? nope9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? not at all10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? probs emily11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? thank you 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? 

Clairvoyant, you used to say, dead bird, how does it feel, i think your nose is bleeding.13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? i LOVE IT14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? yes 15. What good thing happened this summer? i camped my life away16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? isnt that what a boyfriend is?17. Do you think there is life on other planets? obv.18. Do you still talk to your first crush? nope19. Do you like bubble baths? nope20. Do you like your neighbors? yeah my neighbor is my grandma, we have tea every morning

21. What are your bad habits? seeing the good in people after they have fucked me up. Always trying to help people.22. Where would you like to travel? all over canada, and greece, and thailand23. Do you have trust issues? yup24. Favorite part of your daily routine? lmao blazing? idk i dont have much of a routine25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my stomach26. What do you do when you wake up? hate my life27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? darker28. Who are you most comfortable around? sam29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? ummm not really, kyle said we could of worked through our shit when we first broke up but i believe we were made to be friends30. Do you ever want to get married? yes i do, i want my papa to walk me down the isle31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? soooo long32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Any and all Avengers. JS33. Spell your name with your chin. hnaqy7l4eyu34. Do you play sports? What sports? LMFAO 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? tv36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yee37. What do you say during awkward silences? well this is fun38. Describe your dream girl/guy? someone willing to go the extra mile just like i am39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? second hand stores40. What do you want to do after high school? die41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? yes i do42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? im v sad and anxiety43. Do you smile at strangers? yes44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? bottom of the ocean45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? my animals46. What are you paranoid about? people hating me and driving with weed47. Have you ever been high? all day er day48. Have you ever been drunk? YUP XD49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? not really, i wish people would actually find out about some things...50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? black lol51. Ever wished you were someone else? every second52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? lol everything on the outside53. Favourite makeup brand? urban decay54. Favourite store? i dont have one55. Favourite blog? not anymore56. Favourite colour? pink57. Favourite food? sushi58. Last thing you ate? some chippies59. First thing you ate this morning? People eat in the morning????60. Ever won a competition? For what? LOL NO61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? nope62. Been arrested? For what? nope63. Ever been in love? is this love?64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? jon browne, caught on video. Was not expecting it65. Are you hungry right now? no66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i dont have tumblr friends anymore :’(67. Facebook or Twitter? twitter68. Twitter or Tumblr? twitter69. Are you watching tv right now? nope70. Names of your bestfriends?kyle  haley suzie emily71. Craving something? What? ugh72. What colour are your towels? grey72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 273. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no real animals74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? too many for a adult75. Favourite animal? tigers76. What colour is your underwear? leopard print XD whoda guess77. Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla78. Favourite ice cream flavour? ????? something fun79. What colour shirt are you wearing?light blue night with cats 80. What colour pants? i never wear pants when im home81. Favourite tv show? supernatural 82. Favourite movie? fuck too many, something avengers83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? mean girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21 jump street85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? janice86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? the turtles maybe87. First person you talked to today? my Dog and yes hes a person88. Last person you talked to today? ive only talked to my dog XD89. Name a person you hate? My uncle90. Name a person you love? my Aunt Mary91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? YEEE 92. In a fight with someone? Like maybe? ask them, theyre the ones sending anon hate93. How many sweatpants do you have? 2 pairs, need more for work94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 595. Last movie you watched? ant man and the wasp96. Favourite actress? honestly no clue. i dont pay attention to that stuff97. Favourite actor? if i have a favourite its not for their acting skills so98. Do you tan a lot? nope and nope99. Have any pets? i have a zoo. And honestly im so proud of my family i wish i could introduce everyone i care for to them100. How are you feeling? honestly tumblr, not great. Ive been down the last couple months and i keep trying to get back where i was mentally but i having a hard time. Many things are getting me down and i want to fix them but somethings are out of my control. And i never taught myself how to cope with that101. Do you type fast? pretty fucking fast i work on the computer A LOT

102. Do you regret anything from your past? I regret little things, like not speaking up and telling people how i feel from the start. Its fucked up a lot in my life. But without going through and doing what i did i wouldnt be the compassionate person i am today.103. Can you spell well? sometimes when i dont overthink it104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yes105. Ever been to a bonfire party? YES AND I WANT TO GO TO ANOTHER106. Ever broken someone’s heart? honestly, i have a couple times. Im not proud of it and i wish it could of been different but life happens107. Have you ever been on a horse? yes i love horseys108. What should you be doing? moving on and letting go109. Is something irritating you right now? yeah thats one way of putting it110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? lmao yes111. Do you have trust issues? so many112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Sam, always sam113. What was your childhood nickname? bird114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes i wanna go back to alberta115. Do you play the Wii? not anymore116. Are you listening to music right now? i was117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? yes118. Do you like Chinese food? YES119. Favourite book? acheron or Fahrenheit 451120. Are you afraid of the dark? not anymore121. Are you mean? people perceive me as mean sometimes because i like to be honest these days122. Is cheating ever okay? no its not.123. Can you keep white shoes clean? bitch i dont buy white shoes124. Do you believe in love at first sight? hahaha i belive in lust in first site 125. Do you believe in true love? yes126. Are you currently bored? umm not the word i would use so no127. What makes you happy? when my animals are healthy128. Would you change your name? i wanted to when i was young but nah129. What your zodiac sign? gemini130. Do you like subway? yes131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? tell him to cool his jets. Been there done that. Did not work. We are happy as friends and get a long way better132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? honestly probably emily133. Favourite lyrics right now? i love this question

This is your life, there's no way to run from itThe doubt in your brain, or the pain in your stomachI only have the one complaint at the momentDon't paint me black when I used to be golden. 

 134. Can you count to one million? nope, dont have an attention span that long135. Dumbest lie you ever told? i work for telus136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? open for the cats137. How tall are you? 5′5 and a half138. Curly or Straight hair? wavy139. Brunette or Blonde? blonde140. Summer or Winter? summer141. Night or Day? night142. Favourite month? june143. Are you a vegetarian? nope144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk chocolate145. Tea or Coffee? tea146. Was today a good day? i just woke up, no147. Mars or Snickers? mars148. What’s your favourite quote? its on my wall

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift. 

 149. Do you believe in ghosts? yup150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?  the books close to me are all notebooks. page 42 is blank

[calvinlepesh]

Interpret how u please but know it saved my mind and soul.

SUMMARYWe have primitive speech in comparison to aliens/ superior being/s/ {Our God self]DONT FUCKING READ THIS IF U ARENT OPEN MINDED! DEADASS FUCKING SERIOUS UR GONNA MISS OUT.to become open minded you must have some form of empathy. Some form meaning you must have to have either the almost perfect understanding empathy based on your ability to place yourself in somebody elses position along with all of their past tramas, what they just fucking ate, basically whatever relevant to the situation apparent or not. I.E do I help this guy for gas hes asking the clerk hes begging he says hes got no money has to get home to his family. seems like a good dude. not making a fuss. being very nice about it. I paid for his fucking gas. Thats good energy right there. sent away and returned in ways that probably already occured but I don't reconize them as a direct result from helping. If you did what you thought was right or whatever you wanted to do actually. Which is what you're going to do anyways cause thats what you fucking decieded you wanted yourself to do. So if this doesn't hit you like it hits most people and myself included. Then just close the book and call me insane. If being insane is living content in my beliefs and my tommorow during the today but with passion for the future. then im fucking insane. Because thats what my program has done for me Truly search for good and if it isn't what you want to spend your time trying to help or doesnt concern you. You weren't meant to be concerened by it and thats okay because it will concern someone else at the right time. etc considered and making a choice based off of critical information secured from a display of empathy. If you cant show empathy practice please fucking practice before you continue reading. Actually idgaf you do you. Your life do what you desire.Speech is used to manifest things into reality of time. Typically faster if done consistently. Tested and proved. By many. My barber for example. little over 7 months ago living in a 1 bed room dumb girlfriend cat and hes cutting hair in his kitchen. The entire time throughout the year  hes telling me about this house hes getting his own very first house brand fucking new completely taylored to him. He told me saying Lep yeah my mom is helping me buy a house and get my career moving finally. After long periods of being told to basically fuck off his mom basically has a change of heart randomly. Hes got a 3 bedroom house. A barber room with checkered floot. 3 tvs niceass fucking interior furniture hes painting the house and has done many renovations over the last few months of him having this house. Just returning there earlier tonight actually I had walked in and had to check if he changed the paint in his front room again! Truly He doesn't even realize it completely. Hes almost so dumb hes smart. in a sense that being happy is being smart. He isn't stupid tho. My barber is on some of the same shit I am. Some. thats a different story tho. The point is he talked to me everytime he cut my hair for 6 month. Not just me I know for certain. He would talk motherfuckers ears off im sure they hated it. Honestly I hadn't been enlightened at this point. I fucking hated it. OMg yeah we fucking get it bro u want checkered floors. So many motherfuckers are talking nowadays. But do they always talk the same shiteveryday? Ill say it again. Do you talk about the same thing everysingle day? Do you talk to someone every single day? I don' t even have to ask what or why you do it. You're doing it because you have the desire of the company of that person. or their opinion, Whatever they have of value or beneficially or mutually beneficially to you or both. My barber talked about all the cool shit he was gonna do with his house. Having a pit bike track in the back. making a fire bit. building a deck. Making a TV back drop out of stained wood stained nailed and cut by him and I. Painted the entire house. CHECKERED FLOORS MOTHERFUCKERS. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO is MANIFEST IT IN YOUR LIFE. The sooner you start talking about and creating this lifestyle and figuring out how you're going to do it one day at a time. Talk to the person ur nervous to talk to. If they fall in love with you. THATS FUCKING KICKASS. if he thinks u dont belong in his universe right now understand thats a huge fucking positive in your life. Now you can live in this moment in time and know in this moment in time that it isn't happening because if it isn't meant to happen yet if at all. For all you know you could meet  him in 5 years and get married have 3 kids live happily ever after. Straight the fuck up! Right now im consistently talking to a girl i had the hugest crush on but never did anything about it. WHY DIDN'T I DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. CAUSE HOW FUCKING AWKWARD WOULD IT HAVE BEEN in minnesota when im visiiting and havent been home for christmas in 5 years that we just so happen to go get breakfest at a taveren like wtf? and its where she works serving. Top it off while we are walking in I see the sign of the place and reconize it from an instagram post that she posted and I had liked and inturn she liked my picture. whatever not important. all im trying to say is the future is 100% unpredictable in every sense. but at the same time it will be 100% guarenteed with my mindset program if applied properly. You never know tomorrow and that may scare you but what if you already had chosen what happens tomorrow long before anything existed? Do you trust your own judgement? The best part is you dont even have to trust your own judgement. YOU DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING YOU DONT WANT TO DO. But sometimes doing them is what you're meant to do typically for your benefit anyways, if not its a punishment, and if it isn't your benefit its somebody elses and they may or may not know that you're the direct cause. you may or may not know ever. But I believe that when we die we are enlightened and are shown the purpose to life. whether a test or a simulation. multiple tests inside one another or something uncomprehensible to myself or anyone. But thats different. What I do know is that a key to a good life Is a good mindset. Choose the mindset of I'm the shit. Cause I am, Cause I decieded I am, Im good fucking looking, People may call you a slut or whore but honestly it may be disgusting a little bit but they're probably jealous of all the hot people you've been with. Or even the fact ur getting laid. most single people hate on girls anyway. aint no boy in a nice healthy relationship talking shit on females and if he is he probably likes u and is trying to hide it. anyways besides the point. You need to develop something you say to yourself {I recommend} outloud {especially for getting started} whether written or set as an alarm for your phone ur background to your phone it could be a picture with a completely hidden message behind it. just associate something or have something that has things you know deep down in your soul you need to say to yourself. For example for me, Ive always been sensitive, still am a lot less than I was alot, But over time After being outcasted from my family at 15 being legally kiddnapped, and broken down on all aspects of self with many failed although maybe not completely failed attempts at bettering myself to the way that works for normies or the purposefully chosen people to be uneducated of the power of speech. They were esentially taking me in at 15 with a metaphorical emotionally broken leg. { ie i hate myself and im a bad person i dont give a fuck and i just want to die cause i dont understand the world} that was my attitude ie the broken metaphorical leg that I came into the school but for the sake of this metaphor this hospital with. However pretend in our metaphor the break in my leg is un noticeable. if ur slow as fuck just know the broken leg is a metaphor for my fucked up thinking. The hospitol or treatment center/school I was at cant fix my leg without me telling them my leg is broken. Now they knew something is wrong or else I wouldnt be there. Many claim at that hospital upon recent arrival that there's been a mistake and they don't need to be there. many times I laughed with everyone else at group along with the director Parker. Parker I believe knows alot about this but would never share with the group for possiblities of the kids claiming they're being brain washed or told to believe such things without an adult or atleast enlightened soul and mind these practices may sound slightly lucritive. Anyway back to the story. Metaphorically I tried many times to dodge and weave around questions asked in therapy sometimes even hamming it up to seem cool because of how insecure I was. trying to seek acceptance from my therapist lmfao very dark times. Which got darker with small light at the end of the tunnel. Thats the thing about parker he never took away full hope and if he did he had a good reason for doing so. I completely trust his judgement even to this day. Lying to ur therapist or even if they think you're lying to your therapist which usually they're right. The only reason they were ever wrong with me lying was because the decision was made based on previous situations of past lies. Lied before you'll lie again? possibly. Anyway, the darkness brought upon u metaphorically and almost not was the wall/work crew. ADAYONTHEWALL In a way this is tramatic but it almost shouldnt be. It was trautic because I put myself there many times. Purposefully yes in a sense but not the living sense. I wanted to be the perfect student at Liahona. Be the leader everyone looked up to. Be the family fucking leader. But I literally just was to immature and weak in all aspects. Too much so to do any of those things. Now that I think back the beauty of it Is I did eventually get all of those things. Because I manifested them. I desired both with my words and the vibes my words created in my body that the universe recieved. My body had translated what I wrote in my daily evals every night at Liahona. I attended Liahona for 711 days. 9 Days short from 2 years. The program is 9 months long. Back to the main subject. The wall. 6 am wake the fuck up. HEADCOUUUUUNT!!!. Big ass motherfucking dude named Quando shouts it at the top of his lungs. LMFAO pretty funny to think but this guy would scare the shit out of new kids in the mornings. shouting out of their beds. I definitely woke up thats for sure. The whole facility of 50-60 boys come out of there room pretty much as fast as possible although groggily everyone dressed in the same navy blue shorts and grey liahona t-shit tucked into our gym shorts with either white black or grey solid socks. No designs or wild shit. All the rules at Liahona were created over the years it had transitioned from an old house to the facility to the newer facility. Everything from tuck in ur chair at all times to. turn off the lights when you leave a room. Hundred of rules probably around over a thousand actually. I hated it off the bat but what was I gonna do? anyway. After everyone lines up in a U- formation with quando standing in the open portion of the U. He would say the same things every morning. Almost as if he was designed to say the same or relatively the same thing. One thing was for sure the message was clear every morning. Go back to your rooms  Today is a new day its a beautiful day make your beds and start studying your quote or doing whatever you're aloud to do until you go for the morning run and breakfest. Now quado probably used a great deal more broken english being from the pacific islands one of em sorry dont actually know. anyways. we dismiss. or atleast. everybody else does. perusual here I am. I sit down in my LIFETIME costco chair sitting mere inches from the head of my twin mattress. I will now sit in this chair for the remainder of the day unless instructed or allowed otherwise. 6-7 morning shift arrives. Can't look away. I think to myself staring at the wall. The desire to look is bad but even the thought of having to write another 300 word essay although they've become easy now, pointless to get one for something so easily avoidable. putting my elbows on my knees I duck my head do as If to pretend im studying the quote (a passage of around 100 words- alot of fucking words that must be memorized in full word for word straight the fuck up and recited to either a very trusted upper level or staff member who will tell you when you mess up and must stop and either use one of 2 hints allowed by parker to figure out whatever word u forgot or fail and take a 300 word essay, However if the quote is failed to be passed off before friday then your points for that week will be cut into half basically prolonging your stay to an extent given points are used to determine not in full but definitely play a large part in even the opportunity of you being recommended to get your next level Ie the quote is very important, very difficult, and I fucking hated it so fucking much you have no idea, Fuck the fucking stupid fucking quote. Parker is smart for the fact that he knows theres got to be something that seems and may possibly be a punishment that is time consuming and benefits those who work harder and faster destroying room for socialism. Basically parker created the quote to see who the fuck is really trying and how hard. Based on when you pass off the quote, If you pass off the quote, and how long of the quote is and whats in the quote. Parker can determine your loyalty to the program and therefore your recovery) Sitting in my chair and ducking my head between my armpits I can finally look around in a small area on each side of my body without getting too ballsy. This is my entertainment for the remainder of the day. Besides playing with my hand/feet. Tapping my feet/hand. looking at the US map{ and sometimes if they put u on the other wall or farther down you got the south america map. To this day can name the south american countries for the most part in alphabetical order. Crazylol. I can do the states right now. anyways. } Eating Oats and water with 2 of the gnarliest fucking red delicious apples every fucking morning. YO WHERE DID U FIND THOSE FUCKING APPLES MARK AND WHOEVER THE FUCK SHOPPED? jesus christ. Still don't eat red delicious apples THERE NOT FUCKING delicious. liars anyway. Before that when morning shift arrives typically shortly after if not immediately after their arrival we do another headcount. Of course yelled much less.... whats the word.... manly lol. Derek had the lamest headcount call. His unenthusiastic Severous snape from harry potter like almost moan like noise. anyways fuck u derek. Derek would take us to get our shoes, at both the new and old facility there are shoe closets that contain every students single pair of running shoes. The new facility also has our never to be touched til we leave or go on a visit personal items. After getting our shoes on. We went outside. line up on the concrete basket ball court in 5 lines spanning accross the entire court each student assigned to a 'family' upon arrival in no paticular order I hope but idk. Usually it was the one with the lowest amount of students but some family leaders would try to boost by trying to speak with newer students asap and within the rules. Communication of any kind with any student not directly monitored without being directly told otherwise is strictly forbidden. No form of communication head bobs nods winks smiles smirks laughs even eye contact for long periods of time. Although of course these rules were broken many times over the course of my stay. I definitely stopped talking to kids. Literally it taught me and im kinda glad it did it taught me to not ask my peers but elder people with wisdom and knowledge for help. However in therapy groups they allow us to communicate freely with the presnence of the therapist who was 1 of two therapists. However he would quickly correct any advice given from a student to a student to not only teach us the correct way to solve whatever issue being discussed  or shared. but almost in a way indirectly teaching you that experience and age are similar but not the same and to seek those that give the best advice and help the most which tend to be the people u want anyways. I did learn many many many many useful things that I still use today from Liahona. Because of going im now 1000x ahead of an average person my age. Given my experiences and newly found and enlightened self. Given to me when I was ready to give it to myself. When I learned I control this reality with how I feel. And I tend to feel how I talk. Because my talk conveys my emotion. Talk good feel good do good deserve good. Lined up on the basketball court right my bad Im side tracked for the millionth time. gimme a break lol anyways. We line up in  5 columns of anywhere from 10 to 13 students typically ten atleast. 50 jumping jacks Go!" 1..2..3..4..5..6..7- ......49..50.  50 laps chop it up. At 8 laps a mile  50 laps was common but not that common. For awhile it was daily. All of our days depended on how all of us acted as a whole. If one person tried to run and doesnt succeed obvisouly never have never will. Everybody goes on lock down. No talking no moving everybody sits  in a circle. study a gigantic quote for that week cause homeboy tried running. or whatever the case is. Basically if you dont pull your weight somebody else has to and that weight is only their cause you are inturn now they hate u lol. Definitely was unlike for a vast majority by the vast majority however luckily in the end all works out as does all things in this universe in my world or currently my world.story sorry again 50 pushups now in unicen aswell 123-49-50 Then he tells us to go run and sometimes he'll tell u how many laps and sometimes hed tell u when you get to his standing spot at the finish line after your first lap. He does this to guage how and when certain students put in more effort. Shorter run? more harder runners? longer run? Whos putting in effort regardless of circumstance ie whats going on in ur life. Ie how many laps you got How are you moving before you know what your next move is. Are you jogging that first lap until derek tells you to save your breath cause you're banking on it being a longer run. Have you been running slow for 3 laps but the run was only 8 today so ur wasting ur time being lazy. Derek would see when you would run hard. who made u run harder cause u wanted to beat them. how many laps does it have to be minimum to run on the first lap. Whos running hard the first lap regardless of circumstance. They could tell who you were and what you could offer before you even knew anything about any of that. Because honestly you didnt give a fuck about trying before. atleast I didn't. I soon did. Over those 711 days I ran 95 percent of the week day mornings. was in niceass shape too for 17. weekends we got off thankf uckign god. After the blisters heal and you get calices on ur feet from running in the beginning being a new student it sucks alot don't get me wrong and it'll suck for awhile but you'll eventually learn to adapt and conquer by anymeans. I quit after 6 laps my first run. Not even a mile. sat down said I needed my inhaler. I didn't even have one.