#lmfao i have a JOB i have a LIFE
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i don't know how to explain to my doctor that the fact that it is so goddamn hard and annoying to get my prescriptions refilled is part of the issue for managing my adhd. it's never easy! it can never be easy!
#istg i had no issues til i moved to MN but i also know its bc of recent regulatory stuff that it's been getting tougher#and also the pharmacy strikes/general worker treatment for pharmacy employees and pharmaceutical companies pulling so much bullshit#bc they can#but also it's making it sooooooooo hard to force myself to deal with the process. i have to. i need to. but i dread it so much.#and that's just the one medication my T has been a hell of a lot harder to deal with recently#so one medication is on order and we'll see if they can even fill it#and next week i have to get the other filled and we'll see if they have it (they won't) and if they can order it (might not b able to)#and we'll have to see if i'm going to spend the entire 2 weeks prior to a trip trying to scramble to every pharmacy n ask if they can fill#lmfao i have a JOB i have a LIFE#who the hell wants to be spending every morning of every day trying to figure out how to get this shit come ONNNNN#personal stuff#sorry im cranky
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congrats on baby #2!🥰👍 part 2 to this post bc seb is a smug ass bitch when it comes to getting clora pregnant. and ty @rednite-dork for sending me the original pic ages ago LMFAO... i knew as soon as i saw it that i had to redraw it eventually 👼
#anne 1000% took the picture LMFAO......lewis-induced vomiting#i wanted to have the design of their kids out before drawing this since seb has to be holding their firstborn....widdle chubby ceweste#choccyart#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#clora clemons#hogwarts legacy#also ive started on the seb and clora as curse breakers oneshot🥰im still only on the outline and still ironing things out but#im excited to start writing it hehe......protective adult seb does stuff to me....🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️#the premise is them investigating a town that has a bunch of strange occurrences going on that might be bc of a cursed object#AND THATS ALL ILL SAY..............clora living her sherlock life fr#OMG WAIT thats actually a cute idea LMFAO i should legit have clora try to channel sherlock when shes investigating BAHAHA😭😭#if anyone has any ideas/things theyd wanna see abt them as adults on the job lmk send me an ask/anon or reply im open to suggestions#the oneshot is gonna be pretty lighthearted and slice of life so#tho there IS a smut scene at like the very beginning that i wasnt planning on BAHAHA but thats just what happens when u write seb...😮💨
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when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this
#rare WIP preview from me#this is in like. 10 episodes. lmfao#its been really hard working this far ahead#my editor isnt giving me any feedback and my friends are very busy so it's felt quite lonely#which is fine! for my friends I mean. but its my editors job to give me feedback...#but the webtoon editors are extremely extremely extremely overworked and my series is set to end so I understand its low priority#its not her fault its webtoons fault. however. its still demotivating...#oh well l m a o#I should be much further ahead ngl LMFAO I want like 12 done but I come back in 2 weeks.#we'll see#when I get really stressed out I go full gamer mode#and usually I'll sink like 60 hours (like 5 days) into a game and then I'm good and move on#but this recent game that grabbed me is. its too much actually#bit uncontrollable ngl I think its an ADHD thing I mostly have just quit playing videogames at all#cause its like yeah being stressed cause theres too much work to do is not going to be helped by losing a week and a half to a game...#and yet.#anyways the game is satisfactory#my friend bought it for me and we've been playing together#and our shared file has. 100 hours on it. and we still havent beaten the game#we're close to beating it and it's not like we're rushing or anything#cause its fun to fuck around and zap eachother or whatever#but it's got me doing math. the exact kind of math I love to do. optimization#and its reminding me yeah in another life id have been an engineer#I'm glad I'm an artist but its always weird like yeah this is easily a path I could have gone down#'artists hate math' speak for yourself doing math calms me down! I love math!#I love math and I love business. I'm almost the perfect artist but I hate advertising so. we can't have it all#anyways theyre so fucking cute its sickening. I love them so much. I could cry#WIP#lineart#time and time again
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I call monthly to fill my ADHD meds and because it is so controlled I'm legally not allowed to get extra (context: I am currently on the branded because I've met my deductible for the year (surgery) and the generic isn't in my pharmacy).
The pharmacy places a refill for the generic. The generic is still widely out of stock and won't get in for weeks. I call to ask if they can switch it to branded, they have done so in the past. I cannot, it is so controlled I have to get a new prescription. I get a new order and for the next three months I'm okay. I forget the headache and then it's time for a new set of three months and I hope my provider has sent in the branded request. The pharmacy places a refill for the generic. The generic is still widely out of stock and won't get in for weeks.
#stupid rant is stupid#ADHD#rinse and repeat#well i have one last three months of medication covered by my insurance#or i should#that's three months to find a pharmacy that does carry the generic#once my insurance resets i dont have money for a $400 a month drug lmfao#i would not be on this if it didnt massively improve my quality of life and make it so i can actually DO my job
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How did you get your job on sunny? I really wanna go into the entertainment industry.
iv told th story b4 but i got onto th show bcuz i just happened to b n th right place @ th right time
was working on smthn completely different nd drunk on th camera truck during one of our wrap days me, the DIT, nd the loader wer talking abt fave tv shows nd when i said tht always sunny was mine th loaders just like "oh lol funny im the 1st AC on that. i can get u some days if u want" ???
so i...did some days...then i did a season...and now im core crew i guess
#FUCK this just reminded me that i ghosted him a week ago after starting the conversation OOPS ty anon#but yea the entire industry is CONNECTIONS and luck. i never know how to give advice on that. its who u know.#college is a waste of time nd money but also one of th best places to make industry connections. hellish conundrum#working as a grip or a PA is a good way to get in on stuff bt doesnt always provide a ladder upwards or into specifics if u have an end goa#its honestly...a terrible industry....i wdnt actually recommend it to people lmfao its a super unstable way to exist theres no job security#im unemployed for most of my life and just gotta pray i work enough hours to keep my health insurance#newsflash! havnt had that in years!#but yea its....idk man. im lucky for my opportunities but overall its really dire out here#and its just ben getting worse and worse#the motto in the industry going around right now is 'survive until '25' bcuz of just how few job opportunities there are#literally everyone is struggling lol.....do something else#ask#ramblings#anon
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[looking at old art] Damn, I really peaked in 2021
#like what was I on that it was that good and why can't I replicate it now#it's still my own style but what the hell changed#why is drawing so hard#why don't I have motivation#why is my job so stupid#these are the questions in my life#(for the job thing - at least I'm not a legal assistant anymore lmfao that shit sucked)
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im so sorry to ask again, things have been really tough for me financially and bills keep getting taken out at the worst times 😞 if anyone can help me get out of the negatives i'll be eternally grateful 🙏 plz only help if you're absolutely sure youre able to ofc
if 4 people sent me $25 id be set, anything at all helps! if i dont get this straightened out by the end of today i'll get an overdraft fee. im getting paid on wednesday but its going to be a short check and i need to pay my rent 😭
vnm: tobias_leviathan
pp: paypal.me/bewearrr
thank you 🙏
#work has just been. stupid. i keep getting my hours cut and when i ask why i get no answers and it sucks that this is a recurring theme#of my employment life. the most impossible challenge on earth is being audhd and trying to hold a full time job lmfao#the world is not built for us#even just reblogs help 🙏 if youre interested in a commission lmk i just have a pretty long wait list rn so itll be a few months
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hot take? i don't think blurryface is going to be "defeated" by the end of the lore. he might be the villain of the story but at the same time he's a living part of tyler as well. i think they'll win, but not completely eradicate the existence of blurryface. they might suppress him, or learn to peacefully coexist with him, or outgrow his influence or whatever - that's the "managing the tension" part. we also have to keep in mind that tyler is still struggling to some extent with his insecurities and vulnerabilities (though he's gotten much better ofc) and i think that aspect will be reflected in his art.
besides, they've said that some people might not like the ending, which insinuates we won't be getting a perfectly hunky-dory happy ending. i also don't think tyler is the type to give this kind of story a sunshines and rainbows type of closure.
the core message of twenty one pilots, although it has certainly evolved over the years, is that it's fine to be not okay, but you must fight for your survival. i think that the lore ending will leave us with the message that broken as we are, we have to stay alive AND push on through - and before you know it, you'll be in a much better place than when you first started.
#i feel like ive said this before so apologies if it sounds repetitive#i just had to get it out#and to add#i was in a godawful fucking state when i first started listening to tøp#but i am doing much much better now#i have friends i have a job i graduated i function fairly normally in life#but that doesnt mean my blurryface is gone#i still struggle and some parts of me feel perpetually broken#whats comforting though is that my ability to regulate my feelings and life have gotten much stronger#sometimes i do feel like ive relapsed and its terrible#'ive been praying for my elasticity to return to the way that it was'#but when that horrible moment passes i realize that i actually have become better and stronger#i keep myself alive and push on through#im still working on learning to lessen the burden i put on myself#and coexist with my blurryface#but i am getting somewhere#sorry for babbling and venting but what i wanted to say is that#i relate to where the trench story is going and itd make sense for blurry to still be there by the end of it all#just with less power over tyler#tøp#twenty one pilots#clancy#blurryface#my god these tags be so long lmfao
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💬
#artists on tumblr#art#oc#rkgk#procreate#my art#tian#babies au#hi wheeze#nothing funnier than wanting to draw + knowing u have to look down to do it = all the snot in your head is sooo subject to gravity#actually what’s funnier is me acting like it’s anyone’s fault But my own that i don’t have a sketchier style like ???#u could just not ritually overwork the drawing??? u could just stop???#anyway pls have some scribbly baby tian at his various jobs... working hard... minding his own business... saying fuck all#he has a rich inner life. if u even care........#i try to draw him leaner than big tian bc he gets less to eat like when i tell you all he wanted at this age was three (3) square meals#and one (1) snack#and also to be bald bc he hates paying for conditioner#if he knew big t gets TWO (2) snax per day + is only 50% bald But zhuzhu diffuses his hair on wash day......... 🆗🙏🏼#ok luv u bye i need to lie down lmfao
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i think i got accepted into the 2D animation class at my university #win #success #awesome
#talks#all of my other classes this semester are kind of boring. we kind of got the worst professors/teachers for every class too lmfao#our first semester teachers were so passionate about their job and now we only have teachers who have the personality of a cardboard box.#i really looked forward to illustration but our first seminar yesterday was a huge disappointment#and i'm lowkey trying not to have a crisis about it lol.... it's not even the class. it's the teacher & the way he chooses to teach us#which is just. sketching from real life. realistically. no room for creativity whatsoever. WE WONT EVEN HAVE A FINAL PROJECT#i'm mad about it because the other groups who had illustration last semester had assignments that sounded really fun#illustration class is the reason why i chose to study here in the first place.... and we got a teacher who doesn't gaf about it. grrrrr#anyways. i'm hyped about 2D animation!! it's the only class i really look forward to :D
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"im a magician, i just dont bang on about it"
missing marvin the magnificent hours </3
#jacksepticeye#marvin the magnificent#septicart#just like art#fun fact: this pose (???) and inspiration to draw marv again came from a comedy panel show my parents have gotten super into recently#hence the caption: its just a line from the bit this is from lmfao#also hello! im still waiting for uni to start up again#and im trying to be productive before it starts#so im going for my licence sometime soon (april lol)#and im currently hemorrhaging money from seeing doctors about this long term pain ive had for YEARS#going into the city to see one and its gonna be $300 bc life is nothing but agony and suffering#so im thinking about opening commissions???? its still super up in the air#ive only done commissions from people i know lmfao and even then it was stressful tbh#either that or i get another job lmfao#but besides that: ive been good! and i wish the same for you! good night!
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the ✨fickleness✨ of the heart
#second interview somehow went even worse than the first lmfao#was almost late due to public transport (1 and a half hour journey from town wth) got pretty overwhelmed with the interviewer and i just.#forgor to ask more questions about the job role aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#also on my way out the dude in the guardhouse didnt see me trying to get free (the gate out was one of those push a button to exit things)#so i was only able to escape when someone tried to drive out by following the car out through the vehicle gate#but then. i tripped and dropped one of my shoes. so i had to double back and grab it before the gate closed on me so b s#idk if the guardhouse dude saw me then (tinted windows and all) but i can never go back.#i hope the upcoming fellow interviewee does really well!!!!!!! you can have the job my dude!!!! it’s all yours!!!!!!!!#as for me. hm. i think the shut-in life suits me best~~~~~~~~~ no need to touch grass~~~~#to think that i talked too much in interview 1 and too little in interview 2… i think i should just sew my mouth s h u t.#anyways!!!!!! just another hour and a quarter till zakenna liner notes!!!!!!#i think i need to drown my sorrows in a bookstore 再见大家~~~~
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sometimes it’s just… ‘oh had so much fun on vacation!’ ‘went to a cool concert!’ ‘had a fun day out with my friends!’ cool??? don’t remember what the fuck that’s like since i’m constantly the one forced to be in charge of everything ever.
#ooc. o kaptain.#[i have a car? of COURSE I must be the ride if anybody wants to do anything. that’s my fucking JOB. birthday? figure out my own plans. can’t#exactly make them because Mia’s sick. have a devastatingly depressing birthday in my house trying not to cry all day. vacation??? lmfao I#haven’t gone anywhere in three fucking years what’s that like??? I am absolutely bitter and exhausted and fucking angry. I have no family#left because they all died. and the last person I DO have is so sick the only enrichment I can receive is taking care of her. until#hopefully she gets better. but when is THAT guaranteed in my shithole fucking life??? I love spiraling with no way to remedy the issue#because I literally live with the fucking issue and she’s the last thing I have. basically: fuck life and fuck this. I don’t even know what#it’s like. I don’t even know how to fucking enjoy anything anymore because I CANT. THERE IS NO OPPORTUNITY TO. I DO NOT HAVE ONE. In fact I#have to do MODULES FOR WORK. THAT. THAT is the most FUCKING stimulation I can get. whatever. I fucking hate everything. I fucking hate#everything everything everything. and this is purposeless because it ain’t gonna stop! anytime soon! ever!]#medical /#negativity /#negative /
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KINGDOM HEARTS IS ON STEAMMMM LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO IT RUNS LIKE A DREAM ON THE STEAMDECK THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY FUCKING LIFEEEEEEEEEE
#And holy shit it's on SALE at release???#Square you shouldn't have!! You spoil me baby....#Pro-tip: Buy the bundle with all three collections for an even bigger discount.#The entire Kingdom Hearts series to date (except Melody of Memory lmfao) for only $70??#It's a goddamned steal#If you buy each collection individually it'll run you like. $120 even with the current discounts. So I have no idea why you would do that.#ANYWAY GO PLAY IT#This is not sponsored content.#But like#Square. Hey. Listen. If you WANT to sponsor me?#Hmu babygirl. I've been shilling your products my whole life. If you wanna pay me for that? I'm down. >_>#I know you're on tumblr and I KNOW you're looking at my blog sooooo#*twirls hair flirtatiously*#Anyway this is a beautiful port of a beautiful set of games. Excellent job all around. I'm so thrilled to have them now.
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Someone just applied to my job ad and cited… torrenting cds online as “archival experience” and I am tempted to interview them purely because I’m impressed by the sheer audacity wtf
#which is in itself a joke i guess because i have used audacity the program to torrent!!!!! lmfao yall#i died i was like i am not familiar with these are they MARC or something– OH MY GOD#gotta do what you gotta do in this job market lol#work life
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#all-staff at work abt *waves hands*#specifically reminding/offering up the like free counseling for employees that we have access to#and being like. we will continue to do our work and to help the public as best we can w/in our sphere etc etc#professional life gonna get crazy (/neg) over the next year i think. live laugh love public service#anyways. i might take up the free counseling offer (and tbf i probably should've reached out like. months ago)#doing a presentation on the economic impact of immigrants and how the economy would melt if we didnt have them on friday. lmfao.#going to eat something that isn't halloween candy in the hopes of feeling less despair#i like. know if i can pick myself up and collect the pieces. well i have no choice but to pick myself up do i. so it's a when not an if#but i know the sooner i can the more of a positive impact i can have like both professionally and in my community and personal life#but it's really hard to pick up the pieces at speed. when i just want to go home to my parents and be a child again#n spreadsheets are fucking hard to read thru tears. even spreadsheets that i can see the clear line from my work to fighting fascistic govs#i have a spreadsheets job but i have a spreadsheets job where the bottom line is helping the public.#so every day that i can't pull myself together is potentially a delay on helping others. so i need to pull it the fuck together like Now#so i a) dont lose my job and b) dont end up causing problems where we are meant to help
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