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#lmfao I’m kidding but u know
gralixe · 7 months
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One Piece has so much gall giving so much screen time to characters I truly do not give a fuck about
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theloveinc · 1 year
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taking Bakugo and your kid to an Easter party of some sort and your baby walks into the kitchen right when the ham is coming out of the oven and says “it smells like daddy in here”
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cartoon-skeleton · 7 months
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I hate school so fucking much lol and I always just thought I was taking too many credits but this semester I finally took a normal amount of credits and it doesn’t matter. It’s not the amount of classes, it’s just having any classes at all. I feel like there was definitely a time where I could handle it but not anymore lmfao… this place was crazy. Sent me into my first real and scary panic attack, broke me out in stress hives, ruined my sleep, turned me into a mega hater…. smh. I know it could be a million times worse so I feel bad for complaining but it was not cool. All I can hope for is that my degree and good grades that I damn near died trying to get for literally no reason do me some good in real society tho I doubt it lmao
#like why did I try so hard lmfao…… I don’t need a 4.0 I’m not going to grad school I’d rather kms#I don’t know. I didn’t realize I was trying that hard I just thought that’s how hard I was supposed to try#IDK!!!!#I have never been good at knowing how much effort to put into things my entire life#I give everything 110 percent when it feels like I’m giving it like. Idk. 80 percent#everyone calls me a perfectionist and IM NOT TRYING TO BE LOL I don’t know how to gauge what I can or can’t be dismissive of!!!#it’s hard for me to discuss this problem I have without it sounding like I’m being like ‘omg I’m so smart that I do everything perfect by#accident’#THATS NOT WHAT I MEEEEAAAN#whatever#some people’s mental health issues make their grades tank but I have never had below an A- in my life and if u ask me that is also#indicative of an issue like LOL. if your child is like that then get them help for fucking real#ugh I love my mom and it’s not her fault but when I was a kid I was literally bawling and having stress headaches and canker sores DAILY#after school and being unable to sleep because I was so afraid of going the next day#and she was just like. ‘I was like that too :) it’s normal. you’re just a perfectionist’#ACTUALLY IM SCARED OUT OF MY MIND FOR NO REASON but okay#ok sorry let me just shout out some gratitude tho to the handful of teachers I had who were epic and had swag#I loved them#they didn’t make up for the rest of this bullshit though LOL
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Text
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peapod20001 · 1 year
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Sometimes I think about the girl in like 7th grade who was a furry and drew furries boinking it and apparently SO many people saw it and they were telling me about it and all I could think was how I, probably the only other open furry at school, wasn’t shown these
#random post#we were friends too! she was the one who acted as a bodyguard in the bathroom after some chick threw milk in me#but I digress. anyways she was. how u say. very ‘developed’ for being in the 7th grade and that was smth ELSE ppl talked about#anyways I think of her when I design younger girl ocs cus I often forget that not everyone was built like a hand puppet like me LOL#she was nice. she moved before high school and I never saw her again. I hope she’s doin good for herself :3#I will never not find it funny how if u saw my yearbook photos from 2009-now. I look exactly the same#except that one from like first grade. cus my hair was parted different and I was wearing a denim jacket and someone told me I smile with#too much gum so as spite (and maybe self consciousness a bit) I smiled in a way that hid my gums#but OBVIOUSLY it looked weird. I had an overbite I SMILED BIG TOOTHY WITH GUMS. I point and laugh at it cus that’s the only time that has#happened lmao. I like to spite people. like in primary school when there was a lesson on like manners?? and we were told to sit like a lady#with legs crossed at the ankles with our knees together?? and in true 5 year old fashion. I tapped my classmates arm and told them to look#at my protest. which was me man spreading LMAO proud moment. I’ll sit how I want that you very much Texas school system 👌🥰#I keep getting off topic I apologize but also I don’t cus I’m a walking contradiction. anyways the school didn’t know proper picture day#routines for a few years lol. like making the wear neon spirit day the same day as pictures (and the picture day reminder telling us not to#wear neon LMFAO) or when kids would have gym class and THEN take pictures all red and sweaty. my hair was fucking ROUGH after that lol like#a very small braided tumbleweed in my head. still cute tho obviously but you would think people in charge of educating would have at least#SOME thoughts about things before they do them. lmfao got off topic again but that’s ok <3
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clydesdonovan · 1 year
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Hi sorry I’m being a menace rn I haven’t been in the sp tag in so long and there’s so many good posts!!! Also I love u all
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sammygender · 2 years
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im so sick of rich people whining about being called rich. or upper middle class WHATEVER. just saw some stupid tiktok about how people with airpods and. like. those fancy rich fridges with filters that make water. are not the enemy. and like well yeah i suppose so but it’s not hurting anyone for people to make fun of them. some delusional idiot in the comments saying “a family on 200k a year is not rich” are you actually fucking kidding me rn
#200k a year is so fucking much lmfao what WORLD are u living in#im literally like. like i consider my family decently well off these days we get huge food shops and like i have a fucking iphone 11 now and#its weird to get my head around that. like. we do not struggle#for money at the moment we can mainly just… get stuff! so weird#so i’m not even coming at this from a poor angle these days even though i was sorta poor#growing up#but no offence (full offence) but if youre happily spending £200 on a pair of shitty headphones and you have two kitchens and an endless#wardrobe of clothes that cost like over twenty quid and you regularly go on fancy ass holidays abroad and-#YEAH im bitter. i am i can feel it and i’m not really that ashamed. sorry!#ur rich. not a crime. just admit it#sorry sorry sorrryyy im getting bitter cause everyone i know spends like £40 on jeans but £4 is too much for me to spend without feeling#immense guilt and i just know these were the sorta kids whove never experienced being shouted at for taking a couple pieces of dairylea and#some bread not because ur parents were shitty but because that was an entire lunch meal for you and youd just messed up a whole thing of#food planning. or having cheap sainsburys own brand school cardigans which didn’t have the logo on and everyone always looked at u a little#funny cause of it. or having everyone look at u like ur mental cause you’ve never been on a plane before. like#augh. i wasn’t even poor that’s the insane fuckinf thing i can’t#imagine how annoyed id be 24/7 if i had less money like#‘the people u call rich have way more in common with you than with the 1%’ ok and?? and??#it’s not my responsibility to force rich people into class consciousness when ninety percent of them think homeless people are a disease#anyway.#the airpods thing is so stupid anyway yeah you’re not necessarily rich if you have airpods but bro they’re like at least £100 and if ur#casually spending £100 on headphones that ain’t that great ur either rich or stupid😭#oliver talks
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sunrizef1 · 2 months
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What happens in Vegas pt 15
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Fem!Driver!Reader
Authors Note: IM ALIVEEEEEE
Warnings: Cursing “kys”
Masterlist
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logansargeant
I don't think that's in your meal plans
yourusername
Shut up Logan 😐
logansargeant
😂😂😂😂
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lewishamilton
🫶
yourusername
🫶
——
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yourusername
📍Spain
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liked by charles_leclerc logansargeant and 6,888,009 others
yourusername te amo
load comments…
user1 OH MY GOD SHE POSTED SHE POSTED
user2 her first insta post since Vegas we cheered 😭
user3 LMAO dating Charles leclerc and only posting the top of his head I love her sm
user4 that's where they went 😭
user5 viva la españa
user6 🇪🇸🇪🇸🇪🇸
user7 awww I love them
carlossainz you come to Spain and don't see me?
yourusername I don't like you
carlossainz 😔
user8 wait I love that this is her only post and its Charles 🥹
user9 can we see the rest of that photo??? 😭
user10 EL GATO EL GATO EL GATO
user11 🐱🐱🐱
user12 WAIT ✋ “TE AMO”?????
user13 I LOVE YOUUUUUU
user14 I adore them
user15 my fav championship leaders
landonorris Im still mad you abandoned me
liked by yourusername
user16 te amo???? 😭
lilymhe my fav girl 🫶 (and her bf or whatever)
yourusername 🫶🥹
porscheracing dont have too much fun 🤓☝️
liked by yourusername
user17 I love them sm its not even funny
logansargeant whats that Taylor swift song??? Come back… be here????
yourusername I don't even live in London
logansargeant well actually, you have a London house 🤓☝️
logansargeant (i know that because I have broken in multiple times)
yourusername oh so its your rat-looking-ass that's been triggering my ring doorbell
landonorris oh so you'll ring doorbell the London home but not Monaco 🙄
user18 wait her brother is lowk in the likes…
user19 oh to be on a Spanish vacation with Charles leclerc
charles_leclerc te amo 🤍
yourusername 🤍
user20 alright now, its been two weeks, lets get to imola
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logansargeant
WOAHHHHH
THATS RUDE
yourusername
I’m not a fan of you as a person
logansargeant
And if I said that made me sad then what
yourusername
Kys
logansargeant
😱😱😱😱
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georgerussell
That’s not nice
yourusername
Blame Lando for knocking my drink over
georgerussell
But I didn’t do anything 😔
yourusername
You watched it happen and that’s bad enough
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landonorris
I ALREADY SAID IM SORRYYYY
yourusername
🖕🖕🖕🖕
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lewishamilton
What did I do?
yourusername
I’m so sorry you’ve been caught in the crossfire of Landos actions 😔✊
But nope
You don’t
So sorry unc 🙏
lewishamilton
😔😔😔😔
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charles_leclerc
I don’t even get a tag?
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logansargeant
WHAT THE FUCK
ARE YOU KIDDING
YOU LIKE ME MORE THAN HIM
I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS
yourusername
Lmfao that’s my boyfriend
Ur my annoying little brother
Why would I tag you 🫶
logansargeant
Kys
🖕🖕🖕🖕
I will not forget this
yourusername
Love u ☺️🫶
logansargeant
I hate u ☺️🫶
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landonorris
Oh I see how it is
yourusername
“How it is” is me posting my bf
Whats ur problem
landonorris
😔😔😔😔
We don't need a reminder of your happy relationship pls die
Not all of us have found our soulmates
yourusername
☺️🫶
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georgerussell
Oh okay
yourusername
🙄🙄🙄🙄
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lewishamilton
yourusername
I don't want to hear it grandpa
lewishamilton
Woah now
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charles_leclerc
🤍🫶
yourusername
🤍🫶
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sturnsslut · 4 months
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better - matt sturniolo
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a/n - this is a filler until i’m done with my chris smut 😔. i’m sorry there’s a lot of yapping but the backstory matters !
contains - soft dom!matt x sub!reader, fighting (barley), unprotected sex, mirror sex, praise, fingering, begging, oral
summary - reader and matt make a bet !
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‘ i seen your love, you got me baby ‘
it was a friday night and my boyfriend had just canceled on me last minute for the 3rd time this week. i was literally all dressed up, waiting for him to come and pick me up. i sighed when i read his message saying that he " had something come up "
bullshit.
i had a feeling he had been cheating on me for a while, but i didn't have any solid proof so i just stayed quiet. i was about to get into my pajamas when i got a text from nick saying how theyre having a party at their house tonight , and how matt would pick me up.
nick 💗
HEY
we're having a party tn
can you come
pleaseeeeee
matt can pick you up
i feel like i haven't seen you in forever
you
nick it's been 4 days 😭
but i mean
let me see
i pulled out my phone to text liam, my boyfriend . i had to make sure that we really weren't going out , so i was just double checking.
liam
Can't go
Something came up
you
bro what ??
im literally ready
why tf is this just now being brought up
liam
I don't know what you want me to do lmfao
you
im going to nicks party then
liam
Says who?
Your staying at the house
you
why are you being weird 💀
yes i am
lmfao ok dad
liam
That fucking matt kid
Your always looking at him
And he looks at you like he's
in love or some shit so no your not going
you
bro
u can't be serious
i never look at him
liam
K well
i don't want you close enough to him
so that there's even a chance something could happen
you
k.
read 10:39 pm
i laughed and rolled my eyes, he really thinks he's in control of me...i scrolled back to nicks contact and texted him
you
come get me 😝
nick
YAYYYY
we're like 5 mins away
can we come in so i can say hi to ur cat
you
omfg 😭 yea
im ready anyways cause
ofc my bf cancelled on me again
nick
girl.
you can do better
i feel like everyone knows
he's cheating on you...
you
yea me to
i just don't have any proof yet
anyways lmk when ur here
nick
okay
we're like abt to pull up
you
doors unlocked 😛
i waited until i saw their van in my driveway, and opened the door watching them walk up to my porch
immediately hugged nick and chris, but i just smiled at matt and he returned the gesture.
there had always been something, weird between me and matt. it wasn't friendship, but it wasn't hate either. it was weird.
i led nick to my room and picked up my cat, kiko, handing her to him
i walked out of my room to see chris sitting on the couch and matt just leaning against the door on his phone, like he couldn't wait to leave.
“uh you know you can sit down matt...” i said awkwardly, causing him to look up from his phone and just respond with “i know”
i shrugged it off and went back to my room where i'd left nick, and asked him what he thought of my outfit.
i asked him if he thought it was ' too formal ' for a party since it was originally an outfit for my date.
i was wearing a short black dress with spaghetti straps, my hair down and some light makeup
“girl you look hot. don't change” i smiled and went to the bathroom to touch up my makeup a little, once i was done i grabbed my bag and asked nick if we're ready to go “you ready?” i questioned, putting my bag on my arm
“yeah let's go” he said before saying bye to kiko and putting her down
“come on guys” nick said walking out of my room, resulting in everyone making their way to the door.
once we got into the van i was in the back , with nick while chris and matt were up front obviously. on the way there, i just had the urge to look up from my phone
i looked up and caught matt starring at me through the rearview mirror, he immediately looked away once he saw me though.
we eventually got to the triplets house and it was already packed. we all got out of the van and while we were making our way to the door, i asked nick “you let all these people here without you guys home?”
“yeah, justin and nate are here so it should be fine.”
i hummed in response and walked behind nick and chris, with matt behind me for some reason.
nate opened the door and dapped up matt after i walked in, and i heard him say “hot date bro”
“she's not my date” matt replied sounding slightly annoyed. nate raised a brow in confusion
“then…why..were you walking behind her? and starring at her ass, like, the entire time you were walking up…me and justin literally saw you through the window.”
i turned my head around for a quick second to see matt shushing nate and punching him (sort of) playfully on the shoulder
i felt my cheeks heat up, but why? why did i care how matt was looking at me? whatever.
i made my way to the kitchen where nick and chris were, we just gossiped about random shit.
nick was talking to chris and while i waited for my turn to speak, i looked around and saw...my boyfriend? what? he said he had an emergency?
and of course, he was making out with some skanky bitch from my school who knew we'd been dating.
i told nick i'll be right back and made my way over.
“fuck you. family emergency?? your fucking unbelievable.” i shoved him then faced the girl “and bitch as for you, he's gonna do the same shit hes doing to me right now. you aren't gonna fucking last.”
he looked totally wasted and was slurring his words, but i heard him say “you were just a good fuck. get over it.”
i looked at him in disbelief for a moment before i said something back “can't say the same for you. you have a small dick.” and with that, i walked off.
tons of people were starring at me of course, but i was too mad to even care. i made my way to the bathroom to calm down, before i heard a knock on the door.
“what the fuck do you want” i blurted out without even thinking who it could be.
“um..it's matt, can i come in?” i instantly covered my mouth feeling bad about how i had spoken to him
i unlocked the door and opened it, letting him in. “i'm sorry. i didn't know who it was” i apologized
“no no, it's okay. i just wanted to check on you and see if your okay.”
i sighed and sat down on the toilet seat while he leaned against the wall in front of the mirror
“i mean..not really, just pissed at how much time and energy i wasted on him.”
he stayed silent and didn't say anything, waiting for me to finish what i was saying “i knew he was cheating but i didn't wanna believe it, i feel fucking stupid” i continued
“your not stupid” he shrugged and continued “he's stupid for loosing someone like you.” i thanked him and sighed, resting my head in my hands
“and…if he has a small dick he's nothing to cry over” he smiled
i laughed, “he wasn't even good in bed either oh my god.” i added and laughed
"really?” matt turned his head to look at me, furrowing his brows for a second and smiling, while crossing his arms
“yeah. sorry if this is too much but like..i never finished when i was with him” i giggled at the embarrassing confession
he laughed and paused for a moment before saying “you would if you were with me”
i giggled thinking he was joking, and replied with “doubt it”
matt raised his eyebrows and locked the door, “wanna bet?”
that's when i realized he wasn't joking, i stood up and leaned against the sink infront of him " how much " i smirked at him
“ $50. i know how to use my hands, mouth, and dick. im confident i could make you cum, that's a promise.”
“fine, prove it then” i said nodding my head
“don't start shit you can't finish. im serious.” he said looking me in my eyes
“so am i, i wanna see if you can put your money where your mouth is”
“ y/n ,” he said smiling and shaking his head , leaning into me, resting one of his hands on the sink
“matt.” i responded teasingly
he grabbed my hand and placed it onto his dick, making me feel his giant boner
“you see what your doing to me? i will fuck you until you can't even remember his name.”
“do it then” i smirked, ' he's all talk ' is what i was thinking, until he firmly placed his lips on mine
it was quick to turn sloppy, he picked me up and set me on the edge of the sink so i was perfectly aligned with his dick
he started making his way down slowly by leaving hickeys all down my neck, i wrapped my fingers in his hair and tugged it slightly, but not too hard
that's when he lifted up my dress and placed one of his hands on my waist, while the other rubbed my clit through my underwear
he was looking me in my face but i was so needy for more of him, that i couldn't even look him in the eyes.
“what? you can't take it anymore?” he smirked at me, still making eye contact and then inching his hand fully down my panties sticking two fingers inside me
(guys i giggled at panties but i didn't know what other word to use)
i bit my lip slightly taking a deep breath in at the amount of pleasure i was in. even tho all he did was tease me, it felt amazing. like he had this power over me.
he started moving his fingers slow, but picked up the pace fast. i threw my head back in pleasure, while my hands grabbed at his shoulders.
fuck. maybe he could make me cum after all .
as good as it felt, i needed a break because if he fingered me for any longer, i would've lost $50.
i grabbed his hand and pulled it away and hopped off of the counter, immediately getting on my knees
i began to unzip his pants when he suddenly stops me and grabs my chin, raising my head and making me look at him
“i don't know if your ready..” he said looking at me with a smirk
i rolled my eyes smiling slightly, and continued undoing his pants "okay..." he answered, throwing his hands up in surrender
i pulled his pants down to his ankles and then looked up to see his boxers, and i could obviously see his giant print
i pulled down his boxers , revealing an easy 9 inches. i started at it for a few seconds before shrugging and shoving in 6 inches or so
as i switched between my hands and my mouth, i swirled my tongue around his tip causing him to let out a low groan
“shit ..” he threw his head back in pleasure and grabbed a fistful of my hair, pushing himself further into my mouth
i felt it in the back of my throat. i heard him mumbling all types of swear words, and at that point he's basically just fucking my throat
“how was that” say standing up to face him, smirking up at him still catching my breath
“your really good” he smirked at me, before picking me up and setting me back on the sink again “your turn”
he pulls out of the kiss and bends down slightly, resting his hands on my inner thighs, spreading my legs a little
“let me do this for you, all you need to do is hold your legs up. but if you can't handle it, just put em on my shoulders, okay?” he says looking me in my eyes, all i could do at that point was just nod eagerly, hopefully showing how bad i needed him.
and with that, he starts to go down on me. i arched my back unintentionally, i don't know what came over me, but i couldn't help myself. it just felt like he belonged there
this man wasn't lying when said he knows how to make a girl beg, not even close to a lie.
i grabbed a handful of his hair and arched my back again when i felt him start to suck on my clit
i slapped my hand over my mouth, remembering how there's other people around.
he took his hand off of my thigh and removed my own hand from my mouth, “don't cover your mouth sweetheart. i wanna know if im doing good”
i shook my head in agreement and grabbed the back of his shirt, needing some sort of support
i can't explain it, but i swear i felt him smirk when i grabbed him, like he knew he was pleasing me so good.
i never knew i needed him, but i do now. his tongue felt so good on me, it just felt right.
i moaned slightly louder than before “shit…” i threw my head back and bit my lip slightly
i started whimpering out of pleasure trying to catch my breath, his tongue was going everywhere and somehow he made every spot feel amazing .
i felt myself get close, but i needed to feel him inside of me. “wait wait wait” i mumbled trying to catch my breath
“what is it baby?” he said looking up at me “ i…fuck hold on.” said panting
“ i want you to fuck me , please matt.” i said in between breaths
“how bad?” he said smirking at me and looking me in my eyes, “tell me how bad you want me.”
“i need you so bad, please” i pleaded, i just wanted him in me and nothing else, him and him only is all i needed.
“good girl.” and with that, he fully stood up and grabbed his dick
he held his tip up to my entrance, running his head up and down my folds causing whimpers to leave both of our mouths. he knowing how bad he was teasing me, but this man was rock hard.
“matt, i want you to fuck me and i know you do to , stop teasing please” i was literally begging this man to just destroy me
he shrugged “i'll try not to stretch you out too much sweetheart.” and with that, he pushed himself inside me without warning, and wow i wasn't ready.
it's like i was so horny i forgot how big he was.
he shoved all of his length inside me , all 9 inches. i cried out in pleasure
he placed his hands on my waist so he could go deeper and guide me , “oh fuck” i muttered and immediately clamped my eyes shut
that's when i felt matt's hand on my chin, making me look at him. “look at me, i wanna see how good i make you feel . do i make you feel good, pretty?”
“mhm” i whimpered and shook my head because i couldn't even speak.
“use your words baby. do i?” he spoke firmly, still not breaking eye contact
“yes, yes you make me feel good” i mumbled
“good.” he spoke in a fierce tone as his tip hit my g-spot perfectly each time, making me throw my head back
i heard him say “hey baby, you wanna take off that dress?” he suggested
i nodded while he pulled out and i hopped off of the sink, slipping my dress off
i looked over at matt who was literally starring down my body, “what?” giggled getting flustered
“nothing…you just amaze me. your body is so perfect” he said, still starring me down
i laughed and rolled my eyes and asked if he was ready again, “for you, always. are you?” he emphasized
i bent over the sink and replied “obviously.” he snickered and grabbed my hips, making sure he was perfectly aligned.
i felt him pound himself into me, which, i again for some reason still wasn't used to how big he is.
i had my hands on the sink for support, and when he put himself inside me, i put my head down because it felt so good
that's when i felt matt's hand on my chin again and lifted up my head , looking at me through the mirror.
“uh uh. i want you to see how good your taking me.”
i nodded looking at him in the mirror
i watch him look down and smile while furrowing his brows
“you didn't tell me you had a back tattoo baby . it looks good”
“you never ..” i paused as i struggled to get my words out “shit!...asked me” i whined, almost too loudly
“fair enough ..oh fuck” he threw his head back and his thrusting started to get more aggressive
his hand crept up to my neck, placing a firm grip on my neck which sent me over the edge
“matt..baby i can't do it” i said shaking my head while looking at him in the mirror
“yes you can, take it like you said you would.” i nodded and did as he told me
i suddenly felt that knot in my stomach, so i reached behind me and grabbed matts hand from my waist and put it on the sink so that his hand was over mine, and we interlocked our fingers
“you alright? are you gonna cum already? come on, your too easy to please baby .” he asked in a teasing tone, looking at me and smirking
like of course i was. and he obviously knew, he just thought that it was funny to tease me.
“fuck ..matt im gonna-“ i was cut off by me releasing onto his dick, “oh shit” said looking down, i was relieved that a man had actually made me finish, but now i needed to give matt $50 i didn't have ...
“good job baby, you did great” he was literally panting at this point. i could tell was close, just trying not to show it.
i decided to tease a little and see how long he could last.
“you make me feel so good baby” i said looking at him in the mirror
“thats g..fuck” he threw his head back and starting thrusting harder
“you look so good from here” i teased a little more since he thinks when he does it, it's hilarious. i saw him open this mouth to say something but instead just bite the side of his cheek and stay quiet
“i don't care how long it takes you baby, my body is all yours.”
“fuck .. mm oh shit ...in or out”
without answering, i got on my knees and began to jerk him off to his release while looking up at him
“oh shit. fuck..fuck” he lets out a huge loud of cum and i swallow, i dont need a mess.
i get back up and try my best to fix my hair while looking at myself in the mirror, while matt's leaning against the wall panting
i pickup my shoes without even bothering to put them back on , i just re-adjust my dress and forget about everything else.
my hair is all out of place, my lipstick is smeared, my mascara running down my face..i was a mess. but it was totally worth it.
i sit on the toilet seat while matt puts his pants back on.
“i don't need the $50.” matt said suddenly smiling at me, “you ready? you still look good by the way.”
“whatever. let's go” i laughed and rolled my eyes, opening the door
“liam's gonna be so pissed.” i laughed looking back at matt
“i know” he smiled “can't wait to see the look on his face.”
i giggled as we made our way over to liam, who was making out with a different girl.
we stood infront of him and looked at eachother laughing, and as soon as we did we opened his eyes and looked like he'd just seen a ghost
“hi” i said in a teasing voice, tilting my head while doing so
“what the fuck?” he looked back at me and matt in confusion, furrowing his brows like he didn't know what was going on.
“yea so you were kinda right about me and matt ...” i said trying not to burst out laughing
“you fucking whore!” he yelled, gaining the attention of tons of people. they started recording the situation because of how loud he was. “i knew you were cheating on me you slimy little b-“ he got cut off as he got sent to the floor.
matt had punched him.
i covered my mouth in shock but also resisting the urge to not laugh “your...” liam paused , feeling his nose as it gushed blood everywhere “dead.” he continued
“okay, well it's kinda hard to take that threat serious when your on ground”
everybody around us started laughing, apparently nobody liked liam , but it's obvious why.
“your not a real man! y-“ i cut him off before he could finish his sentence, “well he fucks like one. get up and get over it. truth hurts.”
i pat his shoulder and flashed him a faux sympathy smile, before he swatted my hand away causing me to laugh
we walked over to chris and nick who were recording everything on their phones “hey uh, are you guys ready to pack this up?” matt asked them
“yup, i'll get nate and justin to get everyone out.” nick said as he walked away
“dude what the fuck ...” chris giggled as he looked at me and matt " i fucking knew it! nick owes me $20".
“you..made a bet?” i asked, confused
“fuck yea we did” he replied stuffing his mouth with food before walking off
“so like..do you wanna be my girlfriend...or whatever” matt asked me, looking down at the ground
“duh.” smiled and kissed him before going to find nick so i could help clean the mess up
“we're literally never having a party again.” nick complained as we all shoved trash into trash bags
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a/n - um lmk if you wanna be on my tag list 🤗.
@mattssluttygf
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midnightwriter21 · 11 months
Note
can we have the first meet soulmate thing for sorcerer! reader please?? w gojo only
jjk hcs: satoru meeting sorcerer!soulmate!reader
characters: satoru gojo x reader, megumi (mentioned), yuji (mentioned), nobara (mentioned)
warnings: u kill a cursed spirit, possible injury but not rly, mature language (reader cusses gojo out lmfao), the kids & reader lowkey bullying gojo lol, gojo is kinda suggestive at the end
AN: soulmate au where the first words your soulmate says to you are tattooed somewhere on your body!! read the non-sorcerer version HERE
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SATORU GOJO
being called in as back up for a mission involving a 2nd grade cursed spirit was not on ur to-do list today
but guess where you are!!
an empty mall!!
an empty mall where you’re currently watching 3 teenagers run around like headless chickens
the curse is ugly… as most of them are but..
this one is NASTY looking
several different colored eyeballs sticking out of various places on its body
it’s oozing some sort of greenish brown liquid
and the smell
dear lord it’s bad
the poor pink haired kid is simultaneously holding his nose and trying to fight the curse with one hand
and it’s main attack seems to be the ability to spit that greenish brown liquid at whoever it’s attacking, rendering them immobile
almost like a glue trap for mice
the curse backs the three kids into a corner and prepares to spit that sticky liquid at them
and that’s when you decide to make your entrance
jumping from the second floor of the mall, in front of the kids, and drawing your weapon
you block the attack and jump towards the curse
severing it’s head and therefore exorcising it in one quick movement
you sheathe your weapon and turn to the kids, “why the hell are you three taking on a 2nd grade mission?”
the pink haired boy from earlier explains, “our sensei was supposed to be with us but when we split up he went to the food court… and uhhh… we haven’t seen him since.”
you give the kids a sour look, “your sensei must be a complete moron”
all at once the kids agree
“he is” -the girl with the hammer
“yeah, pretty much” -the boy with the black spikey hair
“i mean.. kinda, sometimes” -the pink haired boy
you sit the kids down on a bench so that you can check over them and access any possible wounds
mama bear mode activated.
you ask the boy, who you now know as megumi, to get in touch with his sensei
when his sensei answers the phone, megumi explains that the curse has been exorcised
but before he can explain about your presence, you snatch the phone from him and let out a string of expletives directed towards the man on the other end
“you must be a fucking idiot huh? your kids could’ve died taking on a 2nd grade alone and you’re off being an irresponsible jackass somewhere-“
before you can continue you hear the dial tone
he hung up on you
without even saying a word
nearly growling in anger you shove the phone back to megumi and move over to yuji
you take his hands in yours and begin to wrap his hands in bandages saying, “you know, if you keep punching through walls you’re going to end up really hurting your knuckles”
as you wrap his hands you’re not really paying attention to your surroundings, so the smug voice coming from behind spooks you a little…
“it’s good that a pretty little thing like you came to the rescue or else my kids could’ve died since i was off being an irresponsible jackass”
he’s throwing your own words back in your face
whipping your head around fast enough to give yourself whiplash, you prepare to launch into another ass chewing
but your words get stuck in your throat when you’re met with a tall, blindfolded, white haired man
a man known to everyone in the jujutsu world
Satoru Gojo
in response to your stunned silence he lets out a chuckle, “what? cat got your tongue, pretty?”
his mocking snaps you back into reality as you fire back, “no, i’m just surprised on how someone like you can be such a complete and utter dumbass!”
“awww cmon is that the way you’re supposed to talk to your soulmate?” he smirks down at you
you give him a confused look before it hits you
his first words to you from earlier…
“it’s good that a pretty little thing like you came to the rescue or else my kids could’ve died since i was off being an irresponsible jackass”
those exact words are printed on your back underneath your shoulder blade in neat handwriting
looking up at him with wide eyes, you watch as he turns his back to you, pulling off his uniform jackets and lifting up his shirt
ignoring the faint gagging sounds from his students
and there it is, printed in the exact same spot as yours, in your handwriting
“you must be a fucking idiot huh? your kids could’ve died taking on a 2nd grade alone and you’re off being an irresponsible jackass somewhere-“
“no. fucking. way.” you say in disbelief as he turns back to face you
“you have a dirty mouth, sweetheart,” he leans in and whispers softly in your ear, “can’t wait to see just how dirty it can get,” he leans back and says in his normal voice, “but we’ll save that for later!”
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lundenloves · 1 year
Text
a mixed selection of headcannons for ghost, not all dad ones although 50/50 ‼️
I was pacing around my kitchen as I wrote these. Back and forth, and back and forth. I need him like Man City need Gündogan. Tears.
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This bitch is awful at having his phone on him. Like he ain’t never got it, yet always jumps to his own defence when you bring it up. “You never fucking pick up the phone.”
“Yes I do.” Complete with a frown.
Go into his missed calls and it’s just you 💀
Sometimes you have to phone Johnny just to get a guaranteed where a-bouts of your husband. They’re always next to each other anyway, “Oh he’s right next to me, aye.”
Road. Rage.
He cannot handle the slightest bit of traffic. Like a two minute setback? Overtaking. Sometimes even undertaking. This man is above the law.
He’s the person who steals money in Monopoly.
Tries his hand at every dad activity with full confidence in himself. Getting violently humbled when he can’t understand how to heat up baby milk. “It doesn’t have clear instructions.”
“It’s milk, not liquid nitrogen. It doesn’t need instructions.”
“Fuck off.”
Uses his height to the best advantage, holding shit above his head like an evil fucker.
His kids ask him to do their BeReals and he’s like what the absolute fuck— before being shoved into them anyway. The comments were encouraging to say the least. “Dilf”
They definitely have Soap on BeReal.
His are the best.
THE DRIEST TEXTER.
“Ok.”
“R u mad?” His kids getting fucking trust issue from his texts when that’s just the way he types 💀
Seen
And then his excuse will be “I was driving” or some shit, knowing fine well he just couldn’t be bothered replying.
He’s probably a car nerd to be honest. Lmfao. Look at him. I know that man could tell me about my wheel rims.
I know he can tan WELL. Like the sun hits him for one second and he’s already been on a two week holiday to the Maldives. Albeit primarily a t-shirt tan that you make fun of, it’s still impressive.
Will pick up your FaceTimes (when he’s got his MF PHONE) on occasion and just have a huge laceration 💀
So concerned for him.
His kids try and show him Animal Crossing on your switch. They invite him to their islands and he’s so unimpressed it’s ridiculous 😭 Bro just runs around and accidentally shakes the trees. “Dad. Stop.”
“I don’t know what i’m fucking doing.”
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simon 'ghost' riley taglist: @vamppxncess @freakonfilm @crowbird @misshoneypaper @tallrock35 @fluffmonster @islanderr @blueoorchid @abbugaduu @lea3773 @coldflapjack @rayhawk05 @han11dh @liishook @melovetitties @fallonx @rvjaa @fuckmelifesucks @bhayatsara @takeomisbitch @local-spidey @konigsblog @penutjuice @babychoi03 @sheluvzeren @sparklingtragedy @maviee @wiserebelpartypie @daddylorianisastateofmind @bhayatsara
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cat3ch1sm · 9 months
Note
hihi! i saw ur requests were open and i was wondering if u could do killua and gon with a reader whos a silly, clumsy, and kinda dumb mf <3
except readers very powerful, on level or even more than them bc reader is a boss fr 🙏
this can be hcs or a oneshot or whatever u want!
(SORRY IF THIS MAKES NO SENSE LMFAO)
☘️~ DW POOKIE I UNDERSTOOD U PERFECTLY!! thanks 4 requestingg ily <33
gn!reader
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𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐨𝐧 𝐰 𝐚 𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 <𝟑
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୨⎯ 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐚 ⎯୧
killua usually doesn’t have a lot of patience for people with your personality , but he’s honestly seen what you’re actually capable of so he’s more like.. weirded out
as in like, killua knows you’re crazy powerful and generally super capable- so how the hell do you literally manage to trip over every minor obstacle in your path
but tbh gon has kinda warmed him up to those kinds of people. outside of battle situations it’s basically him making sure you and gon don’t get kidnapped or killed or something
and the contrast between your personality during battle and your personality on just a regular day chilling with him and gon is like insane to him. one minute you’re covered in blood and utilizing blazing nen in ways he didn’t even realize were possible, and next you’ve pulled up like a really stupid meme or picture of a cat on your phone and just giggling like an idiot while showing him (and very much still bloodied).
killua asked you about it once and you just kinda gave him that thousand yard stare and he was just like… nvm
apparently your higher functions just shut off after a certain time 😭😭
but back to the clumsy part. because it’s genuinely insane how careless you can be on a daily basis. worse than gon.
“watch out for the fucking pole, y/n!”
“are you even paying attention?”
“what the hell did you even just trip over, you dumbass? there’s nothing even there.”
“holy shit can you be careful for once??”
“I literally watched you take down 10 chimera ants without breaking a sweat and you can’t even pull a push door, you idiot?”
“no, i’m not letting go of your arm because that’s the tenth time you’ve tripped in the past fifteen minutes. you’ll probably kill yourself if i don’t hold your ass up.”
“way to go, dumbass, now you cut your leg. maybe you’ll be less stupid next time” (while begrudgingly fixing you up)
along with being clumsy you can be super absent-minded and get distracted easily. like gon and killua will just be walking and talking and then suddenly stop and realize you stopped like ten feet ago to stare at absolutely fucking nothing.
when they backtrack to get you they’ll be like “wtf are you staring at” and you’ll just snap out of a daze and they’ll realize you weren’t even staring at anything in particular, you just…zoned out😭😭😭
“y/n. y/n? hellooooo? ugh… nevermind.”
⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝐠𝐨𝐧 ࿐ྂ
we all know gon isn’t actually the silly, slightly air headed kid from the early days of hxh, obviously- but when he’s just with you and killua and there isn’t any danger, you both basically act the same way. believe me yall got killua stressinggg 😭😭
u guys just fuel each others’ silly antics. and while he isn’t as clumsy as you can be, when u guys are together you guys r genuinely a two man wrecking team. you guys are constantly doing silly and sometimes stupid stuff and not at all focusing.
far too many times you both have been walking or running beside each other and just stumbled over each other’s feet and fell to the ground like actual idiots.
you and gon both have the same tendency to get distracted easily. so basically the same scenario from killua’s hcs but you and gon lmfao
he’ll be walking looking at his phone or something and realize the both of you aren’t even beside him anymore.
“y/n? gon? where… you gotta be kidding me. guys. what the hell are you even looking at?!”
little Christmas head canon- you guys absolutely knocked down the tree at least twice.
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luvrrgirl444 · 2 months
Text
chapter 27: models off guard
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INSTAGRAM, TWT!
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liked by bigcheesuslvr, sashluvsfood & 453,500 others
👤 horseface, planety/n, historiareiss & 6 others
bigcheese4000 NEW VIDEO FT THE BRIT GANGGGGGGG GO WATCH NOW 💂💂🇬🇧🇬🇧
comments
username oh it was serious for them ijbol
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username google how do i get a friend group like this
view 30.2k others…
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liked by jaegerbomb, hotgirlsluvy/n & 329,680 others
👤 jaegerbomb
planety/n true religion fein
comments
📌horseface GO WATCH THE NEW MF BIG CHEESE VIDEO
⤷ planety/n YOU HEARD THE MAN
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conman69 i think u mean TEMU religion fien 😂😂😂
⤷ planety/n ho.. the things that you’ve lied about
username connie’s such a hater omg 😭😭😭
username STOP FLEXING UR MAN PLS SOME OF US ARE SINGLE
lifearlert fit’s soo fire
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sashluvsfood face card accepted ✅
⤷ historiareiss ALWAYS
⤷ planety/n MY GIRLS 💗💗
jaegerbomb my pretty baby
⤷ planety/n come home the kids miss u
⤷ jaegerbomb i’m literally beside u rn
⤷ username IM GONNA SCREAM PLS
view 19.3k others..
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🫧
- HELLO HELLO
- the way im neither american nor british LMFAOOOOO
taglist <3 : @greeniegreengreen @bakuhoes-bxtch @itzgabz22 @princess-jaeger @marsandsaturn @violenthots @roses-arerosies @conniesbbymama @llovergirlll @iheartamajiki @clipperlighter @liliorsstuff-blog @hoohoohope @akvrae @rinslutz @miniaturelunar @sheluvzeren @shigamiryuk @chamomilespetal @booistoleyou @asp7n @heartz444skz @thatartistshar0n @vintagexparker @tsukkisukkii @venusinx @seeingivy @cyberkitty1 @anitatvd @blamemef0rit @crvzy-fujoshi @dazaisfavgf @bubbabobabubbles @erenspersonalwh0re @imaniitheoneee @dndjxkskcn
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quirklessidiot · 11 months
Text
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title: Y/N and her boys [sneak peek] pairing : Upper classman/popular kid!Gojo Satoru x F!reader, Exchange student!Eren Jaeger x F!reader, MMA Fighter/Celebrity!Ryomen Sukuna x F!reader, Childhood Bestfriend!Aki Hayakawa x F!reader, Varsity football player!Itoshi Rin x F!reader (use of she/her pronouns) Genre: Alternate Universe-University setting, romance, fluff, angst (if you squint), slice of life, drama, all cliche romance genres unite! (Based on the Manhwa, Bunny and her Boys)
Summary: Y/N’s denied the existence of pretty boys and god forbid she’d ever end up dating one yet with one horrid break-up, she decides that relationships aren’t just meant for someone stupid like her but the problem is — five of them suddenly appear and god, why does it seem like they can’t get enough of her?
General warning for the story: mild sexual content, cliche tropes (help), mahito is his own warning, minor character death, mentions of depression, a lot of second-hand embarrassment from y/n's part (shes not a cool girl, SHE IS A BUBBLING MESS AND THATS OK <33), insecurities, bullying, and mentions of cheating Notes: english isn't my first language! (dont judge me) this multi-chaptered story will probably be 20-30 chapters (idk) in ao3. you can totally tell this story is rooted from self-indulgence LMFAO. Im not sure if i should cross post it but im leaning towards ao3 more either ways, can't wait to release this on friday!
also can u guess who she ends up with :P rb’s are appreciated yay FULL VERSION IS RIGHT HERE!
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SNEAK PEAK
“Maybe…Maybe we should break up.”
There's another round of silence between you two, and you know that you can’t exactly take it back anymore since you had said it loud and clear, “Woah, woah, I told you I wasn’t with Misa.” his voice turns louder, and the background noises are good as gone as if he had left the noisy place, “Where are you? I’m coming to get you-”
“I said,” you try to control the stammering of your voice, trying to avoid the stares of the people who cast odd glances, “We’re done. I don’t want to see or hear from you again.” and before he could let another excuse out of his mouth, you end the call. It is only now that you notice how your legs have been quivering and your mouth has gone dry, seemingly like a pup who had just been born and trying to walk. You lose your footing and sit down on the dirty pavement.
No tears were shed at that very moment, probably because you were only stupefied, and it was written clearly on your face that this wouldn’t be something you’d recover anytime soon. Heck, you couldn’t even grasp the idea entirely that someone you’ve been friends with for years and, eventually, a lover would do that to you.
Was it as easy as a snap of a finger?
“Miss? Miss?” someone calls out, but it only bounces back to him like an echo in a cave. You remain still, eyes blinking rapidly while the rest of your face is slack. Everyone around you continued to move, but you remained there like a decorated statue.
“Miss? Christ, you’re about to be–” the husky voice also stops, and it’s only now that you look up to find a man. He seems stocky but, simultaneously, smaller, as if he didn’t want to come off as intimidating when he maintained eye-to-eye contact. 
He is incongruous with everyone who walks by since he desperately tries to hide his features with a baseball cap and a dark face mark. The only thing you can see are strands of his bleached hair, his eyes that resemble the sunshine that peeked through the glasses of whiskey, and the swirls of ink becoming visible underneath his coat when he stretches out his arm.
If this were any other day, you’d run in the opposite direction because he looked like an unscrupulous loan shark, but your body remains in a state of unknown fatigue that you just wanted to stay still. 
You watch as his face softens, the lines on his forehead somewhat disappearing when he watches the color bleed from your face. “...Alright…” he stops, squinting as he crouches to your level. His thick thighs encompass the rough expanse of his straight jeans, and you wondered if he had been an athlete or something. Aside from his built, his presence was rather invigorating,  “oh…” he continues, “Sorry, you-uh…” The confidence he had to throw you off is gone like the evening dust as he motions his index finger up and down his face.
At that moment, you feel something wet running down your cheek. It seemed like the waterworks were late.
You didn’t want to be a pity party in front of anyone, and you’d expect there to be only bystanders, not ‘good samaritans’.
You sniffled, violently wiping the tears away as you felt your ribs were too tight when you took one long breath, “I’m fine…” you respond monotonously.
Who were you even fooling? 
“Right…” you carefully watch him take out a handkerchief, “Fine, sitting on a dirty pavement near my car doesn’t make you look fine, Miss.” he prodded.
“Well, what do you care, anyways?” you tried to keep your voice from cracking, but the stranger showed no qualms of anxiety or fear, nor did he seem mad at your snappy attitude. The blue handkerchief is laid on his palm, waiting for you to take it, yet you exhibit no signs of accepting his kindness. Instead of forcing you through like the usual status quo, he returns it to his pockets.
The odd man.
“Well, for one, I don’t want to run your feet over since I’m parked over here,” he thumbs towards the black jeep that’s parked in front of you, “And my mom didn’t raise me to leave a girl sitting alone, crying her eyes out…”
“Well, did your mom tell you to mind your own business, as well?” your body remains heavy and distant from the stranger, not minding if it came off as rude, but you’ve always been wary of them, especially the ones who claimed to be nice. You wouldn’t be swayed even if you were in a vulnerable place.
He sucks in a deep breath, quite surprised that you had the energy to exchange a vehement response to him. Weren’t you just about to bawl your eyes out?
“Well, you honestly looked like you deserve some niceness after whatever happened.” he conceded, remaining suspiciously friendly, “Piece of advice, though, if it’s a guy, he’s not worth it.” 
“I-what makes you think it’s a guy?” there it goes again, the unknown tightening of your throat and the way the gummy lids on your eyes would heat up as if a pipe of water was about to burst and flood the segways any moment.
“It’s always an asshole who doesn’t seem to know how to treat a woman right.” he lamely explains, and slowly but hesitantly, as if he was waiting for you to move away, he places one hand on top of your hand. 
Unlike a while ago, you weren’t as hostile, but you were confused about why the stranger suddenly did this and didn’t seem to tilt away like you usually would, “So go home tonight, Miss. Cry it out and wake up tomorrow for yourself. You’ll be fine.”
You don’t even see his entire face, but the way he gently caresses your hair as if you were a long-time friend had your lips quivering, and without even realizing it, your torso bends forward. You bury your face in your arms, finding solace in your makeshift fetal position.
The stranger says nothing more; honestly, you didn’t even mind. His newfound presence is comforting.
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junicult · 2 years
Note
Uh so what would the bachelors react like if you ask them to go in raw for the first time? Sorry I’m curious and you’re an amazing writer :)
!! how the bachelors would react to wearing no protection
contains ; fem!farmer. established relationships. major nsfw. minors dni pleaseee!!! breeding kink. unprotected sex (obvi.) serious talk of children for a few. one mention of the word daddy pls don’t kill me. missionary / cowgirl. kitchen sex. creampie(s). cockwarming. praise!! minor degradation if u squint.
note ; ok freak i like u
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harvey.
- he’s so addicted to health, and staying safe and whatnot,
- so it’s no surprise he prefers condoms.
- has literally never not worn a condom during sex. i’m being fr.
- and the only time he’d ever feel comfortable without wearing a condom is if you already had a conversation about children, and were both on the same page on wanting them.
- not to ruin your day if you were hoping otherwise 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
- cus if you asked him to without even talking about kids, i’m sorry but he won’t.
- he can’t be quick enough to pull out.
- but i can assure you, once the conversation has been had…ohh myyy godddd.
- first of all, he was baffled u wanted to have kids considering you’re so busy.
- mostly bc u mentioned it so randomly, while you were both lazily recapping your day in bed at night.
- “are you serious? with me?”
- he’s like…so smiley now.
- the next day he’s absolutely cheesin. grin on his cheeks, even while he’s in his office at work.
- helps you figure out ur ovulation schedule 🫡
- he’s a doctor. ofc it goes beyond just fucking u until it works.
- and when you’re finally ovulating…
- haha.
- he makes you a nice, fancy dinner just for the fun of it. also bc he loves pampering you.
- …and if he’s going to put his kids in u then he’s going to do it right!
- “i love you so much, y’mean everything to me.” hands all over your waist, lips hardly pulling away to murmur.
- he’s almost ravenous.
- he’s never been more affectionate. and that’s saying something.
- kissing you so much, mumbling so many words of praise so your ears go numb.
- and he’s not a huge fan of hickeys (probably thinks it’s more childish)
- but i can assure u this man’s lips are hardly leaving your neck.
- he’s prepping you like never before. on his fingers, mouth, ur cumming at least three times before he puts it in.
- it’s like a silent thank you. if ur letting him fuck you raw, the least he can do is make his own lube.
- literally asks, “are you sure you want me to?” after you’ve been begging for what felt like hours.
- kisses you so long, and so hard before he aligns himself.
- holds your hands, and he’s so slow and careful while he pushes in even though you’re used to him already.
- “finally get to do this…” he sighs, like he’s been waiting forever.
- which he literally has. he’s always wanted a family, so this is quite literally his dream lmfao.
- his head thrown forward, eyes pinched closed while you just cockwarm him for a sec because holy fuck this is what your cunt feels like, no obstructions.
- “oh my—nngh, you feel so good,” teeth seething while his breaths are already starting to stutter.
- he whimpers when he pulls his hips back.
- he’s honestly so indecisive. doesn’t know if he wants to kiss you, or watch you so he keeps just doing both.
- can’t help but look down at the sight of him sliding in and out of u.
- …and the creamy ring around the base of his cock🫡🫡
- and how you’re whining, “s’too much, ffuck y’too much,” just bc of rounds of overstimulation.
- but good for him bc there’s no way he can last that much longer.
- he never realized how good sex can feel without a condom.
- or maybe it’s bc u both know what the end goal is.
- u practically sob when he reaches his hand between ur bodies to rub your clit.
- “just let it out baby, i’m so close, fuck.”
- he cums so fucking much.
- he’s literally cumming for like 15 seconds straight.
- and despite that, he knows that won’t be the only time he’ll be cumming inside of you.
- good thing it takes multiple tries to make a baby.
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sam.
- probably a spur of the moment decision.
- you’re both just way too horny to care enough.
- this man is clingy. he sometimes forgets that you’re extremely busy, and he likes to spend the majority of his time at least somewhere within the same vicinity as you.
- so if you have spent the last couple days way too busy to go see him, or for him to come see you,
- you better believe the moment you’re in his arms he’s not letting you go.
- “can’t believe you made me wait so long, missed you so much.” he’s pouting lmfao.
- acting like he hasn’t seen you in years.
- i mean, it’s depressing but he’s so used to being without his dad for so long and he hates it, so obviously he doesn’t like not seeing you for some time.
- burying his face in the crook of your neck while you cook at the stove.
- his hands are already feeling your stomach, rubbing your skin and tilting his head to the side to watch you work.
- needy sam needy sam needy saaaammmmm.
- he’s softly kissing your neck, gently wrapping himself tighter around you.
- and his hard-on is pressing into your thigh.
- but fuck it, you’re not even that hungry anyways.
- literally immediately turning around to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in to make out with him.
- and he’s almost faster then you, pressing you into the cabinets, his skilled lips moving so quickly against yours. so desperately.
- he’s DEPRIVED.
- “been wanting you so bad. had to get off to just the thought of you last night, y’killin me,” into your ear after his teeth softly nip at your lobe.
- his hands reach down to slide under your thighs, lifting you into the counter.
- yes the stove is still on.
- but who cares about a fire hazard when you’re in love??
- slotting himself between your parted knees, lifting your dress just enough so he can reach his hand underneath your underwear.
- rubs ur clit before dipping his fingers into your cunt.
- “you’re soaked. missed me just as much, did you?”
-…licks his fingers…
- and that’s abt as much prep as ur gonna get for tn LMFAO.
- he’s already tugging down his pants, freeing his painfully hard cock from its restraint and already lining himself up at your entrance.
- he’s leaking with precum, so this step isn’t necessary but he still drags his tip between your folds to gather some more of your slick before he pushes in.
- it takes like five thrusts before he realizes.
- “fuck, i forgot a condom—“
- “i don’t care.” you murmur breathlessly, and in his mouth just before you pull him back in for a messy makeout.
- and that’s enough for him to not give a fuck either.
- because you’re so warm, and tight, and you feel so fucking good that he’s already forgetting all about it.
- VOCCAAAALLLL!!!!!!!
- literally each time he pushes back in he’s letting out a moan into your ear,
- a whiny little mess just because he hasn’t felt your pussy in two fucking days.
- he’s so pretty when he cums, and ik he’s cumming fast this time around.
- probably takes like two minutes.
- has to hold onto the cupboard, especially when your legs tie around the back of his waist and he’s immediately throwing his forehead onto your shoulder, panting while he cums inside of u.
- oh but he’s a gentleman.
- so give him a sec, and then he’s lowering himself to his knees to thank you for his impatience.
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shane.
- AHHHH!!!!!
- he’s no stranger to going in raw, i’m gonna be fr.
- back in his glory days i’d say he’d wear condoms almost every time.
- there was the occasional, “both way too drunk to remember” situation, but that was only sometimes. and thankfully no mistakes 🫡
- but when it came to you, he always wore a condom.
- bc u guys definitely fucked before you were ever in a relationship, you had to have the STD and safe sex talk.
- and as your “situationship” grew, the more you realized you both were strictly just having sex with each other.
- you went from fucking, to catching feelings, to dating.
- so romantic.
- anyways, ur a busy woman, and he’s in zero position to be a father. he needs to work on himself before he can raise a whole living being.
- as he’s gotten older, he’s settled down tremendously. he’s learned to stop letting insecurities get in the way, and he recognizes the fact that you do genuinely love him as much as he loves you.
- so what i’m saying is, condoms were always in the picture.
- aside from the couple times you both accidentally forgot.
- which happens, y’know. but thankfully nothing came out of it when you weren’t ready, so you both went on with your lives.
- once again, i wanna say it was probably a spur of the moment decision.
- although, it was definitely on your mind for a while. you just didn’t mean to let it slip so easily like this.
- you’re already panting against his cheeks, shaking your head to stop him from reaching over into your nightstand to grab the rubber.
- “just forget it, don’t wear one. please, i need you so bad. need you right now.” you whine, already naked aside from your dress you only cared enough to ride up your chest.
- “what?” he’s breathless, and confused.
- “please, i’ve been waiting all day, just fuck me already.”
- that’s enough to fucking kill him.
- he’s already latching his lips onto yours, pulling his boxers down his legs and squeezing your hips in his palms.
- you’re already prepped, from his fingers, and the fact that you’ve been literally dripping all day.
- so he doesn’t waste any more time. he needs you just as much as you need him.
- lifting your legs to rest on his shoulders.
- “y’know just what to say to drive me crazy, don’t you?”
- he’s sighing when he finally bottoms out, just feeling you tighten around him for a sec before he even thinks to move.
- it’s not like he’s never felt this before, it’s just much different when it’s intentional and he’s actually in love with the person.
- hands squeezing your hips, thighs, chest, literally anything while he starts to pump in and out of you.
- lifts up the rest of your dress to watch the harsh bounce of your tits every time you meet his thrusts.
- he’s nearly moaning at this point, his breaths syncing with each move of his hips.
- “does it feel good? huh? c’mon, you can speak to me.” “am i fucking you stupid? needed me so badly you just couldn’t wait another second, hah.”
- fucking laughs when you hide your face behind your hands, because he knows he’s right.
- he loves biting.
- not enough to hurt you, or anything. just enough to make you whine.
- like biting your neck, ears, cheeks. don’t even get me started on ur chest or thighs.
- his pace is so quick and rough it has you digging your fingernails into his arms.
- he fucking loves when you get like this. almost makes him wanna deprive you for a few days, and see what’ll happen.
- “you gonna let me cum inside too, right? if you want me this fucking bad…”
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sebastian.
- pullout method fs.
- mostly cus he’s definitely wasn’t ready to be a father, but also because he lovesss the sight of his cum on your stomach.
- …but he doesn’t usually wear a condom.
- i think this time it’s cus you’re already on some form of birth control, so you’ve never been adamant on telling him to wear them.
- if you did, however, he would of course. but it’s just never been like that.
- so i wanna say ur situation is a little different then just telling him he can fuck you raw.
- let’s say, realistically after you’ve been dating for years, and you’re probably newly married is when you start to think further into your relationship.
- when you first started dating, in zero way did he want kids. he wasn’t ready, had no idea what he was doing with his life, and he still lived in his parents basement.
- but now, since he’s a bit older, things have changed a little.
- “what if i stopped taking my birth control?” you ask, once again dropping the bomb during a moment of comfortable silence after already laying in bed together.
- he’s all ears, although he stays silent so you can further explain, “just because i’m tired of taking it, and we’re always safe anyways.”
- “yeah, if that’s what you want. sure.” he sounds nonchalant, but something changed in his mind.
- instead of fear, he was excited.
- it’s not like you got married without even a discussion of children in the future. when you talked about it a while ago, it was a mutual agreement that, “yeah, maybe one day, if it happens.”
- it was never a set in stone plan.
- so he has no idea why he got so excited, and why he couldn’t stop thinking about it for weeks.
- it wasn’t until one night, already lovedrunk just from teasing all day, when he properly brings it up.
- “you stopped taking your birth control, right?”
- his lips dragging across your jaw, hips slowly moving in and out of you while you whine into his ear.
- “yeah,” you nod, hardly registering the conversation in your mind.
- “just cus’ you were getting tired? no other reason?” his warm breath fanning your ear, eyes lidded, hands pressing against the mattress beside your head.
- you’re so cockdrunk that you don’t even think about teasing, just immediately letting your thoughts spill from your mind.
- “nno, want you…wanna feel you cum inside me,”
- u abt made him bust right then and there tbh.
- u guys know i love inexperienced sebastian, and trust me, he’s still the same man but after he gets older, and he’s fucked you more times then he can possibly remember, he’s gonna get more confident.
- so he chuckles, pressing one kiss to your cheek before he moves to meet your eyes.
- “you wanna baby? is that it?”
- you nod weakly, already stupid from the slow drag of his cock that’s making your body simultaneously twitch each time he presses against that spot inside of you.
- “pleassee, sebby. don’t you think it’d be nice, having a family of our own?”
- your sweet, wide eyes and even sweeter voice makes him pick up his pace a bit.
- “it could be fun. you’d be a great mamma,”
- “and you’d be a great daddy.”
- “you think so?” his pace is quicker now, panting into your mouth just like you do to his. your arms wrapped around his neck, running your fingers through his soft hair.
- “there’s only one way to find out.”
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alex.
- as an athlete, i feel like he’s another guy who likes to keep his health in balance.
- mental, physical, even sexual.
- so expect him to also be one to insist on wearing a condom. for a while, at least.
- especially when you’re in a particularly new relationship.
- but just because he thinks it’s best to wear a condom, doesn’t mean he doesn’t dream about not wearing one.
- cus every time he fingers you, his mind will never fail to think about how you’ll feel around his cock.
- the way you clench every time you gasp, and the way you’re just so wet and warm.
- but he also just kinda thought you preferred a condom too.
- so when you proposed the idea…
- your thighs positioned on either side of his hips, hands rubbing up and down his chest while he ran his hands up your waist.
- “you know i’m on birth control…right?” you randomly mumble, pulling away to blink your pretty little eyelashes down at him.
- he’s confused, cus where tf did that come from.
- y’all were just making out??
- “yeah…?” LMFAO.
- your eyes follow your fingers that circle his skin lazily, a subtle attempt at avoiding eye contact.
- “…you don’t have to wear a condom, then, if you don’t want to.”
- it’s the way you’re speaking that just confirms the thought has been on your mind for so long.
- he kinda just stares at u for a sec, before chuckling and sliding his hands down your thighs to rub them.
- “where’s this coming from, baby?”
- “i dunno…i was just thinking. doesn’t it kinda desensitize you, a little…?”
- sounds to him like it desensitizes you.
- “hm, not really. i think you feel amazing. i always cum, don’t i?”
- he almost grins at the slow, defeated nod you give like he isn’t just teasing you.
- he may be a himbo, but he’s not THAT stupid. he knows exactly what you’re hinting at.
- “just tell me if you want me to take it off, baby. you know i’d do whatever you want.”
- and i’d like to say next time u have sex he doesn’t wear a condom…but ur already abt to have sex so it doesn’t take long.
- in this exact position.
- lazy, slow sex where ur both too horny to even bother taking off all ur clothes😇
- you’re still wearing your shirt, and underwear he pushes aside. he hardly takes off his boxers, only enough to spring his half-hardened cock free.
- despite this not being his favorite position, nothing beats the way your face clenches when you try to lower yourself on his length.
- especially when ur kinda unprepared, but you’re still too eager to even give him the time of day to prep u.
- “just take it slow, baby. i’m right here,” sliding his hands up your waist and watches you.
- brings his thumb down to slowly rub ur clit <3
- it’s like ur trying to kill him by going so slow, especially since this is a new sensation.
- …when ur more warmed up he’s gonna take the lead.
- i’m sorry, he’s impatient.
- “sorry, sweetheart. y’just feel too good…” while he’s holding your hips still and thrusting into you.
- snakes his hand underneath ur shirt to squeeze ur boobs lol
- he’s groaning, throwing his head back against the pillows because fuck, you were onto something.
- this feels so fucking good.
- he has too much stamina to stay in this position for long.
- even though it’s extremely attractive, watching you take him like that, he still flips you over and is propping you on ur hands and knees before u have time to even register what happened.
- he’ll fuck you like that until ur face is buried in the pillows, back arched as far as he forces it to and you’re panting like a bitch in heat.
- unfortunately he pulls out just in time to cum on your back.
- “haah, i can see why you’ve been wanting to do that for a while. why don’t we go again, sweetheart?”
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elliot.
- he’s so sickeningly sweet.
- he genuinely wants whatever you want.
- if you’re on any form of birth control, and you feel pretty impartial about children at this point in your life, but you still want him to wear a condom,
- then of course he is. no complaints.
if you come to him, whining about the feeling of condoms and that you want him to get rid of them,
- then he’s getting rid of them. no complaints.
- he genuinely has no issue with either. whatever makes you happy and comfortable makes him happy and comfortable.
- that being said….
- i feel like elliot prefers no condoms. lol.
- will he vocalize that to you if you prefer them? absolutely not. he doesn’t want you feeling pressured to do anything you don’t want to.
- it’s the closeness that makes him so much more excited. the feeling of being that connected to you.
- and the fact that ur cunt is just so warm and perfect.
- he’s sitting at his desk, tired, lost with inspiration while his forehead rests in his hand.
- his eyelids are lowered and lazy due to the hours he’s spent in his painful, rickety chair.
- he’s got his hair tied in a messy, loose bun, dark rimmed glasses low on his nose before he takes one deep breath and leans back in annoyance.
- “sweetheart, you’re torturing yourself. come to bed. please.”
- it’s your sweet, honied voice that lures him back into his fantasy land, causing him to turn his head and see your pretty frame right next to him.
- in one of those gorgeous nightgowns you don’t wear often, silk to the touch and smooth against your body.
- “i know, i’m sorry, my love. i’ll be there soon, i promise.”
- it’s a broken promise, because he said it earlier and the tone never changed.
- which is probably why you sigh, taking steps closer to him until you can wrap your arms around his neck and get so close to rest your chin on his shoulder.
- “need me to get you anything?”
- “oh, no honey. get some rest, i won’t be long at all.”
- but he knows you won’t listen, especially when you move around him and carefully slot one of your legs over his, positioning yourself on his lap.
- you’re pressing light kisses against his jaw, sprinkling them down to his neck like you know he loves.
- his hands are already around your waist, tilting his head to the side to give you more room on his skin.
- he wishes he had self control when it comes it you, but unfortunately, here his is.
- it doesn’t take long before your slowly grinding against his already hard cock underneath his pants.
- you’re pushing ur panties aside, and he’s stuffing his pants down just enough to free his erection.
- “look what you do to me, baby.”
- it could go both ways, honestly.
- you know he’s addicted to prepping you. will take hours just fingering you through orgasm after orgasm, but now you’re both just too horny to care.
- cockwarming 🙏
- it’s his favorite whenever you’re just so horny, and he’s busy.
- “just give me a minute, princess. you can be patient, right?” while he’s fully inside of you and you’re already whimpering.
- he loves the slow nod you give him, and his hands wrap around your waist to keep you still.
- may pretend like he’s suddenly cured of his writers block, but really he’s just as distracted as you are.
- can’t stop thinking about how you keep clenching down on him, and how you think you’re being discreet but you’re so obviously lifting your hips to move.
- eventually he’ll give up though, much quicker then he anticipated.
- “my pretty girl, so deprived? always needs me so badly, don’t you?”
- non-stop kissing u.
- cupping your cheek, allowing you to bounce on him freely until you become too tired.
- he’ll gladly take it away for you.
- and when he finally cums, he doesn’t even bother pulling out.
- why don’t you just sit there for a minute too, letting him finish his work while he grows soft inside of u.
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satoruhour · 1 year
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🪻ugh your drabble about sore reader reminded of this one hc I think of so much that it’s embarrassing. Imagine gojo getting on sorcerer!reader’s nerves to the point that she and utahime almost have an anti-gojo hate club, and one time while bantering with him she jokes about his size or how he’s so self centred he probably can’t even make a woman cum.
Satoru only says “wanna see what I’m all about?” and safe to say she gets dicked down like there’s no tomorrow. Throughout the night he also makes fun of her for being all talk in the beginning but cumming so easily, makes her beg for it, will never let her live it down. Next day Utahime’s real pissed she lost her club’s vice chairperson.
My kitty isn’t even purring atp she’s meowing loud and crystal clear. Satoru who’s smug and a big tease in bed is so unbelievably sexy to me
a/n: discussions of incompetent dick game LMAO, oral f! receiving, fingering, p -> v sex, unprotected sex, creampies, multiple rounds
OHHHH MY GOD YOURE SO RIGHT ACTUALLY HYACINTH ANON sorry i took so long to get to this sobs. yes yesyes id like to think sorcerer was with them before but left the scene like nanami and never truly kept in touch with the students at tokyo high. id also like to think this happens before the actual series starts (ages 24 - 25) bc gojo might still be honing his technique and theres still that playful banter at that age. god and they have a school reunion and he does some annoying crap dude.... utahime is DEFINITELY debriefing with you after that whole thing. shes by your side the whole night recalling on the stupid shit gojo did as a hs kid, when he collapsed that mansion without putting up the veil. you had to calm her down LMFAO
but at the reunion there was alcohol and you both get hiiiiigh and all things get 18+ almost immediately, talking about how gojo def cant find the clit and he fingers women wrongly and cant make any use of his dick thats probs small 😭😭😭 which is like ... you also have an inkling that he might not be that small because he is .... 2 metres tall but ya never know with how cocky gojo is. and that inkling is gone instantly when u hear him talk cause his voice is so ANNOYING and dripping with cockiness. he also has that certain lilt in his voice that you realise he uses only with you, overly teasing and silky smooth and u hate how you notice that
gojo is fucked up as well, u know he doesnt hold his liqour well but hes sober enough to ask “wanna see what im all about?” and you especially hate how you look around to see where hime is at and when u just catch a glimpse of her heading into the bathroom, youre nodding slowly and you do nooooot know what youre getting urself into !
needless to say, gojo is already getting u so hot and bothered just from a simple kiss. he warped you two back to your apartment (bc he rather die than get found out by megs and tsumiki), which he has been to before !!!!! gods even the tension back then was so palpable but gojo was in a vulnerable place with geto and everything and didnt want to do anything that would hurt his heart more. you two make out for A WHILLLEEEE and if ure wondering if hes alr so good at kissing, what else is he good at ....?
youre proven wrong time and time again when gojo goes striaght for your clit, rubbing slow circles and he has u begging for more, more something just mere rubs. gojo has the gall to lick a stripe up your soaked panties and sucks a little at your clit and god he is LOVING the way all your previous insults about him fall short of your lips and doesnt have the same punch: “still doesnt prove your dick’s b-big—” gojo lips your panties to the side and eats you out. he eats. you. out. to prove a point but also he falls in love with your pussy, slobbering all over it and shit. “didnt tell my your pussy was so good, baby.” “cat got your tongue? do i live up to your standards?”
you realise hes cocky for a reason and that his tongue game is fucking insane. the same goes for his fingers, locking eyes when he first inserts his digits in and your moan is like heaven to gojo bc he likes nothing more than to prove people wrong. and this is the best way to do it !!!! “cum on my tongue, sweetness.” oh YOU DO !!! YOU DOOOOOO
and then you think gojos done with making his statement. nah. youre so fucked out just from oral and hes smirking down at you, bringing your hands to his crotch.
“what?”
“wan’ you to open my pants yourself.”
“so it’s small?”
gojo scoffs with a smile, he already finds himself addicted to you and your taste. “no. just curious to see your surprised face.”
it gets him off every time (even after dating. and cmon dont tell me you WONT be his gf or at least his fwb after this?) you react like that, mouth open and eyes never leaving his exposed cock that he could probably slam it inside.
wee woo and once he starts to fuck you ooohhhhhhggggghhh eveyrthing you say is INCOHERENT. you try to string words together, insults and name calling here and there but it’s always interrupted by moans and whines. “you’re so— mmhfuck— insanely anno— satoru!” its words and words but none of them make sense. youre drunk on his cock. he fucks you in every position imaginable and the first time he wants to pull out bc he isnt an asshole, you're trapping him between your legs and begging him to cum inside, inside, inside WOOOOWWW HE GOES INSANE.
“i’m on the pill, s-satoru! wan’ your cum inside, please, please—”
“you’re driving me fucking c—crazy. i will, i will.”
anyway yeah you guys go multiple rounds and youre rendered speechless at every turn, surprised at yourself that even when youre spent youre sinking down on his cock and riding him yourself right after you both came. everythings sticky and gross and gojos still sensitive but hes hooked on your pussy and lets you do whatever <33
the next morning u wake up caged in his arms and hes saying something annoying again. “wanna make this a regular thing?” and you attempt to reject him, pushing him away and getting up from your bed but youre sore everrywherreeee and he swoops in just as youre about to fall. “dick too good, huh?” you roll your eyes and just let yourself be pampered by him. you spend that next day just making out and being close to each other and u wonder what to tell utahime LMFOAAOAOA
you end up getting a few missed calls after gojo had sent a selfie of you both, blanket covering your naked bodies after doing the obvious and he just chucks ur phone to the side and continues to kiss you LMAOAOAOAO. oh sigh thats such a nice scenario maybe ill write it properly one day
hello hello!
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