#lmao why must they film his head from that angle

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

journey, m | ot7

full title: journey to the dick

pairing(s): ot7 x reader

summary: A Cinderella story but it's a dick pic. Yup, that's right. You find a dick pic on your phone and make it your mission to find the owner of said dick. Time to fuck the seven hottest guys you know! Onwards!

warnings: rated M (18+) for language, mentions of alcohol consumption / partying; horny crack, everyone radiates chaotic energy and wants to fuck; reader is comparing their dicks to above-mentioned dick pic so there's a lot of talk about dick, did I mention there's a lot of dick? dick; smut (fem reader, slight D/s dynamics in some scenes, m-receiving oral, cowgirl, penetrative sex, doggy, spanking, handjob, thigh fucking, dance studio sex, overstimulation, fingering, dry humping, 69, face-sitting, photography during sex, m-masturbation, being cummed on (neck / chest [a cum necklace LMAO] + hand), film studio sex, wall-fucking, being overheard / walked in on during sex (and not giving a shit, oops), implied car sex, implied threesome); non-idol!AU - ot7 x sex friend!reader; each member has their own scene

appearances based on the 'Butter' jacket photoshoots yes, the opening line is #50 of my prompt list LMAO title comes from Journey to the West, except it's dick because that's way more important. also, yeah, this is basically a harem hentai, but it's you and BTS, woohoo! :D

--

"Whose dick pic is this and why it is so inspirational?"

Park Jimin craned his head over to look at your phone, black hair brushing against your forehead. "Damn! That is an incredible dick."

"What are you guys talking about?" Kim Taehyung muttered, yanking your phone out of your hand and peering at the screen. His eyes widened, eyebrows shooting up into his dark brown hair. "Oh, ho! What a high-quality specimen of a dick."

"Why is it on my phone though?" you frowned, taking your phone back from Taehyung. You were sitting next to Jimin on their sofa, contemplating the great mysteries of the world. The black phone case had a cute mouse holding a large sewing needle and sitting next to a spool of sky-blue thread. "I didn't take this one, sadly."

"Maybe you were real drunk," Jimin offered.

"I haven't been real drunk since I projectile vomited in your guys' parking lot."

"That was last week," Taehyung reminded you, smiling amusedly.

You narrowed your eyes. "Look, it was a bad breakup."

"You went on, like, two dates," Jimin laughed, smacking you in the arm.

"It had potential!"

"Yeah, a potential dumpster fire," Taehyung added, rolling his eyes as he sat down on the other side of you. "I know you go for the quiet, nerdy ones, but you're just–"

"Brash? Forward? Ready to sit on dick at any second?"

Jimin was being very helpful.

Taehyung shoved Jimin's grinning face away. "It's a conflict of personality and yours is quite intense, so maybe you should try and be more open-minded about other options."

You frowned, not enjoying this pep talk that you probably needed. In fact, you avoided said pep talk at all costs. You reached back and yanked on Taehyung's ponytail. He prodded you in the left breast in response, glaring. You smacked his hand. He smacked your hand back.

Hey, when you don't have a good reply, resort to violence, right?

You looked back down at your phone. Swollen, red-purple, a good thickness. Nice length too, so hard it was sticking up without the assistance of a hand. You could spy the white pre-cum beading at the engorged tip. It was a strangely clear and well-composed photo. Black boxer briefs. Blue jeans, white shirt.

Fuck.

Could literally be any guy in the history of existence.

You turned the photo to Jimin. "Someone must have taken it last night when I couldn't find my phone for those two hours."

Jimin nodded. "Yeah, seems like it."

"You remember anyone in this outfit?"

Jimin snorted, wrinkling his cute nose. "Everyone was in jeans and a white t-shirt. 'Cause there was that wet t-shirt contest later that night, remember?"

You scratched your head. Ah, yes. Taehyung won. Man looked fucking amazing thanks to working out his arms and chest the past month. Was it solely for the purpose of a silly party gimmick? Maybe. You weren’t complaining though. You did what any good friend would do.

"Oh, right. Who won?"

Taehyung grabbed your shoulders and violently shook you. "I did! Obviously – ah, fuck you!" His tone quickly changed when he realized you were laughing like a maniac, doubling over in a pile of giggles with Jimin. "You're the worst," Taehyung pouted, holding his arms protectively.

"I'm just kidding, don't be mad," you chuckled, reaching over to hug him. He accepted it, but not without continuing to pout. You nuzzled his neck, placing soft kisses on his skin. "I bought you your favorite breakfast when you were hung over this morning, come on now."

His dark brown eyes shifted back and forth before letting out a long, deep sigh and hugging you back. Damn. He had a nice hug now thanks to these arms and his broad chest. He smelled like warm chamomile.

"I worked hard for these," he mumbled.

You patted him on the back before releasing him and holding up your phone. Back to the first order of business.

"Is this your dick?"

Taehyung scrunched up his face. "No? But I don't look at my dick at that angle either."

You puffed your cheeks and turned to Jimin.

"Is this your dick?"

Jimin plucked your phone from your hand. He tilted his head to one side. Then the other.

"Lemme check."

Then he stood up and started walking to the direction of the bathroom. Still holding your device.

"Uh..."

You trailed off.

Taehyung blinked.

The bathroom door closed.

Pants unzipped.

"PARK JIMIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

-

"You have to be kidding me, Jimin."

"Be reasonable. I can't get hard from this dick pic. Don't you want to know the owner of said dick?"

You pursed your lips and squinted at your phone, standing in Park Jimin's and Kim Taehyung's shared bathroom, because they were roommates and your friends. The mysterious discovery of said dick pic from last night's party sparked this Journey to the Dick, because it was a very impressive, intriguing, and, most importantly, inspirational specimen of the male genitalia. Clearly you had to investigate.

For science.

Which was why you were standing in the bathroom with Jimin's sweatpants off and begrudgingly getting to your knees. Begrudgingly, because...

"I thought we were supposed to be ordering pizza and watching Running Man."

"We are," Jimin answered cheerfully. "After you suck my dick."

You glanced at the photo once more.

It remained, indeed, very rousing of certain interests.

You gripped the waistband of Jimin's black boxer briefs.

Hmm...

Hold on.

You stood up suddenly and took your phone from him, sudden determination overtaking you.

"I have to do this correctly."

Jimin blinked rapidly, jumping with a yelp as you flung open the bathroom door to reveal Taehyung throwing himself into the wall, coughing awkwardly and hiding his face with his hands as you marched out purposefully. Jimin was still pants-less.

"In the proper order!"

Jimin and Taehyung shared a confused look.

"The hell does she mean, proper order?'

-

kim namjoon.

“Namjoon, may I look at your dick?”

Kim Namjoon looked up from his book and blinked at you over his round glasses.

“Pardon?” he replied in English.

“Your dick,” you responded in kind, in English and with succinct pronunciation. “Your penis. Your willy. Your ding-dong. Your–”

Namjoon removed a hand from his book and held it up. “My what?” he interrupted you, laughing.

Oh good, back to Korean so you didn’t have to flex all the different ways you knew how to say cock in English. “Take off your pants.”

He blinked rapidly, innocently sitting there in his flowy white button-up and brown pants. He even had suspenders. Fancy man. He had dyed his hair recently, a steel midnight blue. That’s how Namjoon was, attractive and book-smart. Absolutely won the lottery when it came to genes and brains. You couldn’t see the title of the book he was reading, but it was probably a self-help or philosophy book. He was into those nowadays, exploring the human mind, while you were more into exploring the physical aspects of humanity.

Fucking.

Luckily, fucking didn’t usually require reading.

(Usually, heh.)

“I have no objections to your proposition. I’m just confused on why so suddenly.”

You dropped your canvas tote bag on the ground. Your red, short summer dress covered in yellow lemons flared out as you shifted your weight to one hip. Your phone was in one of your hands and you waved it around like a baton as you talked.

“Aren’t I usually sudden when I want to fuck?”

Namjoon chuckled, rich and deep, shutting his book and putting it aside. Probably memorized his page number. Big sexy brain and all that jazz. A fantastic characteristic of his.

He also had a big sexy dick you were asking to see right now.

“You are, but sometimes you offer to buy me a meal or a snack first.”

“I mean, sure, if you want–”

He lifted a hand and cocked a finger towards himself, smiling. When he smiled, his dimples appeared. That was your favorite feature on Namjoon. You bounced over excitedly and sat on the couch, skirt flipping up and exposing your thighs, still holding your phone.

“I’m on a mission.”

He quirked an eyebrow, adjusting his glasses detective-style. “What kind of mission?”

You pointed to your phone. “Do you remember that party we went to, the one with the wet t-shirt contest?” You lifted your arm and flexed your rather defined bicep that made Namjoon raise his eyebrows and mouth a wow under his breath. Consistent handys really did the trick when it came to bicep muscle definition. “You remember, right? You showed off your guns.”

He burst out laughing, waving a hand. “They are not guns.”

“Sure, they are. I could do a lot of social justice with your biceps, Namjoon.”

He shook his head, grinning, dimples on full display. “And what’s with the dress? You don’t usually wear such a cute style.”

You ticked your phone to the apartment front door. “I’m meeting Seokjin later, but he said he’s going to play another round of bowling because Jungkook kicked his ass again. But anyway, back to what I was saying…”

“Ah, yes. I think I remember Jimin mentioning something to me now.”

You brightened, unlocking your phone and holding up the screen. “Right! I’m looking for the owner of this dick.”

His eyes widened and Namjoon leaned forward, readjusting his glasses again. “Wow. That’s quite a clear picture.” Then he coughed and averted his eyes.

You nodded quickly. “Well? Did you take this picture?”

He frowned and sat back against the sofa, sucking in a breath and ticking his head. “Mmm, maybe? I was pretty drunk. I don’t remember what I did…”

“Hah… Does this look like your dick, then?”

“How would I know?” he chuckled. “I don’t see my dick from that angle and I don’t have sober photoshoots with my dick.”

You pursed your lips. “Well, I suppose we’ll just have to fuck then. Drop the pants.”

The thing about Namjoon was that he was a very reasonable man. You had a problem and proposed a solution and he, an avid learner who liked searching for answers to the great mysteries of this world, had the means to help you out on your quest, so he did. In addition, he thought you were hot, you thought he was hot, and you’d already fucked a couple times before Journey to the Dick, so the mutual agreement was already there.

Splendid!

The other thing about Namjoon was that he really liked to make you work for it.

Slightly less splendid.

“Are you choking?”

You squinted at him and flipped him the bird. He was well-versed with popular Western hand gestures.

Namjoon nodded sagely. “That’s good.”

And he put his hand back onto the back of your head and shoved your mouth down onto his cock once more.

You had half a second to breathe again before air was forcefully taken from you, Namjoon now holding you there, nose-first into his crotch, sighing contentedly as he expanded in your mouth. You planted your hands onto his strong thighs and pushed, but his hand didn’t budge. The safe signal was three taps and you weren’t tapping out yet. You glared and Namjoon closed his eyes, smirking slowly.

He left his round glasses on.

‘Course he did.

Damn you, Namjoon!

You reached up and pawed at the buttons of his white shirt, making Namjoon open his eyes to see what you were doing as you unbuttoned them rather deftly for someone who had his dick filling up their throat. He looked down at you, cocking an eyebrow. You cheekily cocked one back, poking his pecs with your pinky.

He grinned. “Hm? What’s that?”

You clenched your throat around the head of his cock and he gasped, losing grip for a split second.

In that split second, you threw his shirt open, glorious his tan skin and large muscular pecs now in view, and slapped your hands down onto his thighs, instantly starting a fast, rough pace, curving your neck with every swallow, sandwiching his cock between tongue and top of your mouth, pulsing your wet muscles all over his length, staring at that well-built chest, watching the muscles ripple with his sudden, abrupt inhale.

“Oh, fuck!”

Sometimes you let Namjoon have the reigns, but this time you were on a mission, although it was a little distracting now because presently you had an unobstructed view of Kim Namjoon with his shirt open, head thrown back, midnight blue hair fanning over the sofa, his full lips open and panting, tendons in his neck tensing, broad shoulders flexed, leading down his defined chest and abs, core tight from your intense pace, thighs hard under your hands, cock swollen and thick, pulsating in your mouth. His large hands planted on top of yours, squeezing them with his.

The three taps applied to him too.

Instead, Namjoon moaned your name and gripped your hands.

“T-The picture… f-fuuuuuuuck…”

Shit, that’s right.

You reluctantly slowed, tongue swiping all over the underside of his dick, tracing the veins, moaning hotly around his cock. He lowered his chin, panting hard, dark brown eyes half-open and framed by his lovely silver glasses. It was him who reached for your phone and unlocked it. He remembered your pattern lock and you had only told him once. All your consistent fucks knew how to unlock your phone.

That’s how you had so many pictures of, ahem, good times.

He placed the phone on his hip and his head fell back against the sofa, inhaling deeply as you continued lapping at the base of the head, slowly sucking on it at the same time to keep him hard.

“Mmm, fuck, that’s nice…”

You mashed the tip of your tongue against the slit and coated it with pre-cum.

“Ah, come on, look already and compare,” Namjoon chuckled in his deep voice, raising a hand to pet your head. “Then you can finish me.”

You popped your mouth off reluctantly. “Hmm.” You placed a few fingers on his cock and looked at it, positioning it to the correct angle that matched the photo. “Huh, it’s pretty close. But you have this noticeable vein here, and I think the head of your cock is slightly different…” You squinted and brought your face rather close to his stiff length. “The skin tone seems right, but it’s not exact, and I think you’re bigger…”

Namjoon wrapped his hand around his dick and smacked your cheek with the head.

“Oi!”

You puffed your cheeks, strings of saliva and pre-cum covering your face.

He grinned, dimples on full display. “Oops.”

You jabbed your finger at your phone. “I’m doing an investigation here!”

He shrugged cheekily. “You said it wasn’t exact. Get up.”

You put your phone on top of his book on the side table and glared at him. “Well, yeah, but no need to bop me,” you grumbled, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand, standing up, and removing your panties as Namjoon reached over to his pants and pulled out a condom from the pocket.

You did say you were coming. Namjoon liked to be prepared for you.

“You said you liked it,” he mused as you straddled his lap.

“I do when I’m notin the middle of an important mission,” you huffed, picking up the hem of your dress and revealing your wet pussy, chin cocked in defiance.

“You don’t have to sit on my dick then,” he said, pausing with the condom right over his cock.

You frowned. “Hurry up.”

He cocked an eyebrow, dark brown eyes trapping you in his allure. “Doesn’t seem like you want it.”

You narrowed your eyes.

Growled.

Then you smacked his hands away and rolled down the condom yourself before sliding onto him with one swift motion, clenching your jaw at the sensation of being quickly and solidly filled up, not giving him or you time to adjust. Namjoon tensed his neck, grinning, large hands coming up to firmly grip your hips. Your own came up to grab his biceps and squeeze them, mustering up your most indignant scowl. He chuckled, smirking as you pulsed your walls around him.

“Hold your dress so I can fuck you.”

“Maybe I want to do the moving.”

He clicked his tongue and rammed his hips up into you, making you hiss at the feeling of his cock being driven into your tightness. Your nails dug into his arms, breaths shallowing into rapid gasps as he continued, firmly and roughly fucking you from below, hard thighs flexing and smacking into your inner thighs and ass.

“Hold your dress,” he repeated, voice low and commanding.

“You’re so bossy,” you muttered, reaching down with one hand to yank up your dress, pulling it up high so both you and Namjoon could watch as he very deliberately and very forcefully thrust upwards into your tight hole, smirking wider as he witnessed your expression and the strain of keeping the pleasure off your face.

“Don’t have to give orders if…” He jerked up particularly hard, hitting your sweet spot, causing you to gasp breathlessly. “You…” Smack! You bit you lip, moan trapped in your chest. “Just…” Smack!

“F-Fuck…”

“Listen.”

And then Namjoon seized your hips and fucked you hard and fast with you barely holding on his shoulder with one hand and the other clutching your dress, moaning his name shamelessly to his own face. Namjoon wasn’t a gloater. His face was serious and concentrated, brows furrowed and intent on giving maximum pleasure, maintaining clear control as you rapidly lost it, allowing and trusting him to lead you into carnal desires.

You leaned forward, hot exhale on his neck, changing the angle and letting him hit you deeper, tightening around him. You heard his breath hitch, hissing out your name. Your whispered against his jaw, close to his ear.

“You like it better when I don’t listen, Namjoon.”

So close, so close, so close.

He snickered, dark, devious, sensual.

“I dolove punishing you with my cock.”

You slid your hand into his midnight blue hair and shuddered, pleasure blooming from your core in heated throbs, savoring the intensity of the orgasm he gave you as Namjoon groaned in your ear, slamming you down onto his hard, twitching cock and moaning, spilling his own into the condom, thoroughly enjoying the vicious massage of your spasming pussy. You pressed your lips to his temple, flinching with the shivers that came after, riding out the peak by rocking your hips lightly, enjoying the fullness he gave you.

“Doesn’t seem like a punishment. I’m having a lot of fun,” you taunted, panting and mirthful.

He gave your ass a playful smack and you squeezed his length from top to bottom.

“We have time for round two,” he murmured, nibbling on your ear.

Kim Namjoon was a very reasonable man.

-

kim seokjin.

"Gah, fuck!"

"As a matter of fact, yes, let's."

Kim Seokjin nearly tripped and fell against the doorframe, gawking at you. His expressive brown eyes went wide, mouth open enough for a nice ice lolly to be placed between those plump lips.

"Why are you in my bed? Where are your clothes? Why are you holding Pink Bean like that?!"

You sighed exaggeratedly. Here we go. "I had a nice dress but Namjoon took it and said I can't have it back until after." You squeezed Seokjin's large Pink Bean plush that he usually kept on his bed, a fluffy representation of a boss from his favorite PC game, MapleStory. It had a bubblegum pink head, light purple horns, and a cute :3 face. You squashed it with your breasts and looked up at him, on your knees with your feet tucked under your ass, missing all your articles of clothing thanks to Kim Namjoon.

Such cute clothes only for him? I don’t think so.

Seokjin turned bright red, sputtering.

"D-D-Don't do that to Pink Bean!"

"Why not? You've fucked me from behind and I used Pink Bean as my chest support."

He strode across the room with two steps, his long legs making it easy, looking handsome and summery in his pastel yellow shirt and shorts two-piece set, flapping his hands helplessly.

"That was a special case!"

You started bouncing on Pink Bean, you and your tits. Seokjin's brown eyes nearly bulged out of his head and he actually tripped at the end of his bed, falling face-first with a high-pitched yelp.

"Seokjin, I need to see your dick."

He yanked his head up, chestnut brown hair flying everywhere, shooting you a confused glare.

"Yah! You can't just show up naked and start demanding dick while abusing Pink Bean!"

You reached up and scooped your breasts forward, squashing them between the purple horns, nipples poking out above Pink Bean's head. Seokjin looked like he was about to pass out. Probably from loss of blood to his head.

You balanced your phone in your cleavage, inspirational dick pic between your tits.

"Is this your dick, Seokjinnie?" you asked sweetly.

He started, squinting at the screen between your tits. "The heck? What is that?"

"A dick. Is it yours?"

Seokjin made a disgusted face.

"Are they really that ugly? Mine sure as hell isn't."

"Oh, so it's not? You know for sure?"

Seokjin scoffed. "Come on, there's no way that could be mine, look–"

And he sat up and yanked his shorts and underwear off, slapping them down on the floor and spreading his legs, presenting his very hard and quite pretty dick and balls. He huffed triumphantly, planting his hands in his hips.

"How could that thing compare to–gah!"

You crawled over Pink Bean, shoving the plush against your stomach and placing yourself between Seokjin's long legs, oblivious to his shriek of surprise, holding up his shirt as you compared his cock to the one on your phone.

"What the–where did you g-get that picture?!"

Your hot breath wafted over his twitching length as you held it delicately with your fingertips, ass up in the air, tilting his dick to adjust the angle so he mirrored the photo. "Remember that party with the wet t-shirt contest?” you explained nonchalantly. “The one where I said you'd totally win because of your broad shoulders, but Taehyung got more votes because he had been working out and looking all buff recently?"

Seokjin was gasping as you held up your phone. Hmm, not the same thickness. Plus, he seemed harder, sticking out straighter than this photo dick. But there was a small mole in his dick that seemed to match the picture. The length is pretty spot-on too. You scooted closer, cradling his cock with your palm and coaxing it with your fingertips, ass bouncing on Pink Bean's head.

"Oh, fuck..."

"Anyway, someone snapped this photo and I've been trying to figure out who, but everyone was drunk and, if I recall correctly, you were on a table dancing with a pool noodle and belting Kim Yonja's 'Amor Fati', so I don't think you remember much from that night."

Seokjin's voice was pitched, strained from holding back.

"I remember those... oh, fuck... those shorts you were wearing... ah, with your ass hanging out on the bottom... fuck, wanted to bend you over... but yeah, after that..."

Then you yelped when you felt his hands on your head dragging you forward and pressing your open lips to his cock.

"Ah, yeees..."

"Seokjin, wait–mphf!"

He shoved the head of his cock into your lips and looked down. You narrowed your eyes as he began to gently hump your face, filling your mouth with the hardness. You sucked in your cheeks a little, molding your mouth to him, still giving him your best annoyed face.

"Is it my dick?" he gasped, pushing deeper.

You made a confused noise and Seokjin frowned at you.

"Yes or no?"

Seriously? You held up your hand and hovered it in the air, wiggling your fingers up and down, the universal sign of–

"What do you mean, maybe?! Oh, it's because a phone camera isn't good enough to catch the majesty of my cock, is that it?"

You could had been annoyed, but then you thought about it. He brought up a good point. You hadn't considered that. Still, the shape wasn't exact though. A phone camera couldn't alter dick angle, right?

No time to think about it because Seokjin rammed his entire length into your mouth and down your throat in your moment of contemplation.

"Mmmphf!"

"Just, ah, don't move, let me fuck your face real quick–"

You didn't really expect anything less, so you pushed him down, sliding his shirt up his torso, changing the angle so you weren't straining your neck. Seokjin fell onto his elbows, hands letting go but hips still moving, groaning as you enclosed your mouth around him and rubbed your tongue all over.

"Ah, your ass is so sexy, damn, bounce it for me..."

He seemed to forget that in order to do that, you had to hump Pink Bean like a dog in heat but, hey, when the man who called himself World Wide Handsome (drunk and sober, that was the kind of man Kim Seokjin was) asks you to twerk for him, you do as you are told and give Pink Bean the best hump that plush is ever going to have.

"Fuuuuuuuck, yes, your ass is so perky and juicy, fuck, like a sweet peach..."

You tried not to choke with laughter in his dick, but the action made your throat muscles squeeze and spasm around the head, immediately making it jerk and swell at the added simulation, causing Seokjin to gasp your name and fiercely clutch his sheets.

"Fuck, yes...!"

You looked up, cocking an eyebrow, seeing his brown hair messy and fallen over his forehead, eyelids fluttering, panting as you took over the pace, firmly enveloping him all the way to the base, sandwiching him between your tongue and roof of your mouth, dragging the head over the slick wetness, pulsing expertly around his hardness. His dainty pink tongue flitted over his lips and made them glisten, full, plump, sexy as hell.

"I'm so glad Namjoon took your clothes," he wheezed.

This guy really said whatever thought that popped into his handsome head.

You smirked around his cock and wiggled your eyebrows.

Then you grabbed his hips and really gave it to him, fast and tight, angling your head so he slid into your throat deeply and easily, sending Seokjin into a sputter of curses, prayers, and blessings to who-knew-what, gripping fistfuls of his sheets and throwing his head back, beautiful neck on display and broad shoulders flexed, moaning loudly.

You almost stopped, awed by his perfectly sensual posture.

Then Seokjin thrust his crotch into your lips and gasped your name, shooting down your throat in swift, tense jolts, forcing you to stop staring at him and hurriedly gulp it all down, squeezing your eyes shut so you could concentrate, sucking in a short breath, and making him yelp, flinching to cram more of the head into your constricting throat.

You prodded his stomach sharply and drew an ‘X’, telling him to stop so you could swallow.

“B-But…”

You gave him a bunch of other hand gestures and none of them were nice. It contrasted the way you were lapping at his cock, coaxing him back to full hardness with soft tongue and delicate pushes against the roof of your mouth. He lifted one of his hands and started messing with yours, the one on his stomach making obscene hand signals. You felt him try and grab your fingers, poke at your palm, and, finally, grab your hand and tug it up, shoving your fingers into his mouth.

You popped your mouth off his cock in surprise. “Hey!”

Seokjin looked at you with giant brown eyes like a dog caught with a treat in his mouth. “Mmphf?”

You made a confused face at him.

His tongue started sliding between them, licking your joints and pads of your fingers, wiggling all around, covering you with his saliva and sending shivers over your skin at the strange sensation. You could feel the power in that squirming muscle, his brown eyes watching your reaction, your own eyes fixated on the way it looked, three of your fingers surrounded and crammed into those lush, soft, pillow-like lips, squirming, sensual tongue slipping between them, dripping saliva down your palm and back of your hand.

“H-Hey…”

It was bizarre, feeling an odd juxtaposition of the submissive nature of the act, and yet he was deliberate and forceful about it, staring pointedly as the tip of his tongue snaked out from the side of his lips, licking the side of your pinky.

“S… Seokjin…?”

He reached up and pulled your hand out of his mouth, the pads of your fingers dragging on his lower lip, wet streaks of saliva painted down his chin.

The ghost of a smirk on his open mouth, eyebrow ticking arrogantly.

You blinked at him, unaware that you were clutching Pink Bean with your other hand so hard that your knuckles were white.

Then Seokjin grinned and wrapped your wet hand around his dick and started jacking himself off with it.

“Hey! I want that in me!”

“What? Gah!”

Somehow, you convinced him to fuck you – read: threw Seokjin down on his own bed, put a condom on him, rolled him back on top of you and guided his cock to your pussy before grabbing his ass and yanking down, making you both gasp as he entered you with one smooth stroke, your back on top of Pink Bean.

Pink Bean was really seeing a lot of your naked body today, just like Kim Seokjin.

“F-Fuck– yah!”

That was his noise of protest as you yanked his yellow shirt over his head, throwing it as far as you could, out his still open bedroom door.

“Sorry, needed to get rid of useless things.”

“I like that shirt!”

You grabbed onto his wide shoulders and rolled your hips up into his crotch, wrapping your thighs around his waist and squeezing. He sputtered at the intense feeling of your pussy wrapping around him, arms shaking to hold himself up, brown hair messy and wild over his forehead, brown eyes wide in indignation.

“Sorry, my bad, I’ll pick it up after I get another out of this magnificent dick,” you quipped.

Seokjin turned red, unaccustomed to someone other than himself complimenting him.

“Why are you hanging onto me like a monkey – oh my God…!”

You used his mattress and Pink Bean to bounce up and down on his dick from below, fingers tangled in his hair, wetly smacking your hips into his crotch, panting his name into his ear, your cock feels so fucking good, love the way you fill me, fuck me up, Seokjin, giving him the praise that he wanted and that breathless moan he liked, the one where you added a bit of underlying mischievous depth, pulling back one of your hands and tracing his plush lips, his mouth opening and pink tongue lolling out, puling you into that wetness, locking his gaze with yours.

Soft and tight around two of your fingers as you slapped your hips into his, losing a bit of your power now that a hand was occupied, intense sparks shooting from your fingertips to your core, his tongue sliding sensually between them, your juices leaking out, getting wetter and wetter, head emptying and replaced with sinful pleasure as you stared into those dark brown orbs with blown-out pupils, sparkling eyes smiling at you.

Seokjin took over and started fucking you into his mattress (and Pink Bean).

Both of you completely forgot about the dick pic.

-

min yoongi.

"Ah, fuck, I forgot, I need to see your dick, f-fuck!"

"It's," Smack! "A," Smack! "Little," Smack! "Busy at the moment."

"Yoongi!"

The bed shifted and hit the wall.

"Oh no," came the most unbothered oh no behind you.

"Your damn neighbors are going to complain again," you hissed, planting your hands on the mattress and lifting your upper body up a little to scowl at him. "They're so annoying."

"Yeah, that's why I like fucking you," Min Yoongi snickered, looking back with his curly black mullet in complete disarray, smirking lips dark and swollen from making out. He raised an eyebrow at your displeased expression, dark brown eyes flashing. "Something wrong? Not rough enough for you?"

You narrowed your eyes. "I need to see your dick when it's fully hard."

He raised his eyebrows. "Sure. After this one."

"Yoongi–"

He cut you off. "Hand," he ordered.

You extended your left hand out back to him and he grabbed your forearm, long fingers gripping tightly, before proceeding his railing of your pussy from behind, your ass smacking into his crotch repeatedly.

"Yoongi – ah, oof!"

You slipped and fell face first into his pillows, gasping at the altered depth of each thrust, hard and deliberate, filling you up as you clenched around him, following his rhythm by pushing back with your hips and moaning as Yoongi slowly built up the pace, bottoming out each time.

"Why do you need to see my dick?" he asked nonchalantly as if he wasn't pounding you with it right this very second.

"Because, oh fuck, someone left a, fuck, Yoongi, yes, dick pic on my phone, aaah, right there, fuck, you're so fucking good, that night of the party, the one with the wet t-shirt c-contest, fuck, Yoongi, I love your dick so much, fuck!"

"Why would I do that?" he grunted, spanking your ass with his free hand and making you claw at his sheets, pain seeping into the pleasure and amplifying it, skin prickling hot, causing the excessive dripping between your joined legs. The headboard was now repeatedly smacking the wall.

"I dunno, you were drunk too, do you remember, mmm, yes, harder, yeah, like that, telling Taehyung you loved him and that he was your favorite little alien child?"

Behind you, you heard Yoongi choke slightly in embarrassment.

"No, I do not..."

"See, maybe you jacked off and snapped a memoir on my phone."

Yoongi let go of your arm and firmly gripped your ass with two hands.

"Memoirs are written."

"Maybe if they wrote their name, I wouldn't be on this journey – ah, Yoongi!"

You grabbed fistful of sheets and snapped yourself back up, your hair messy and cascading down your shoulders, meeting every vicious slap of Yoongi's hips to yours, his balls hitting your soaked clit and sending stings of satisfaction from your core to your limbs, so good, moaning his name, his growl of yours punctuated by his nails digging into your ass, give it to me, come on, and you fucked him back, pressing your palms into his sheets and feeling the shuddering ecstasy again and again, deep pulses tightening around his hardness, making him groan with want.

"One more, one more, I'm so fucking close, fuck..."

"You've been close, you're holding back, you're a dick, ow!"

Yoongi smacked your ass particularly hard and you clenched your core so tight that he gasped and probably delayed his orgasm even further.

"You're the one asking to see it," he panted, adjusting the angle to shove you further into his bed even though it wasn't possible, and continued his relentless assault in your pussy.

"If anyone has a nice dick, it's you, you bas... fuuuuuuuck, Yoongi, yes, I'm gonna c-cum, fuck!"

The pleasure shot through you like lightning, waves of tortuous triumph as you clutched his pillow and screamed his name into it, your juices leaking out from around his pumping cock and splattering onto his crotch and inner thighs, drenching his balls, saturating his skin with your sweet scent, Yoongi moaning your name and squeezing your ass as he fully sheathed himself in your shaking walls and exploded into the condom, his whole length twitching and shivering inside your spasming pussy, your ass prickling on pain, both of you gasping for air.

Someone on the other side of the wall was banging it and told you two to shut the fuck up, or at least you assumed that's what that muffled yelling was.

You and Yoongi ignored it.

"Are you... hah... okay?" Yoongi panted, rubbing your ass and kneading it.

"Of course, I am, what do you take me for, an amateur?" you chuckled, lifting your head, your breathing erratic and uneven. "Now let me see your dick, Yoongi."

The other side of the wall kept swearing. Very colorful, very loud, very upsetti in the spaghetti.

Poor thing must not be getting laid regularly.

"Fuck, fine, you know I like staying in there at least for a little while..." he grumbled, holding the condom down as you untangled yourself from his body, sighing exaggeratedly as you turned around and yanked it off. You tossed it into the trashcan that was already beside the bed.

Yoongi had the foresight to be prepared for a night with you.

"I don't have to leave soon. We have plenty of time."

The shouting through the wall seemed to have given up, kicking it once and swearing very heatedly before stomping off.

"You better not. I'm not finished with you."

You picked up your phone and unlocked it, opening your photo gallery, pushing Yoongi down so you could wrap your fingers around his slick, semi-hard cock. It throbbed contentedly in your hand as you began to move it up and down in smooth, tight strokes, flexing your fingers to add variation in the stimulation.

"Mmm, fuck, yeah, faster..."

You pulled the photo up and put your phone on the bed beside his hip and calmly continued your movements, looking down at him, him and fair-skinned cheeks with a slight fluffiness to them, him and his lightly upturned upper lip that gave him a cat-like appearance, him and his lowered lashes over black-brown orbs that held quiet, sensual intelligence. His hair was messy from fucking you so hard, but he was effortlessly sexy regardless, leaning back on his elbows, torso lifted to watch your hand. Yoongi noticed you staring and raised an eyebrow, wispy black strands grazing his dark brow.

“What?”

You smiled.

“Just thinking you’re really hot, Yoongi.”

He cringed slightly, ears turning pink and shifted his eyes away, closing them. Your own roamed down, down his defined shoulders and toned arms and chest, sucking in a breath at the sight, that slim waist and pretty hips, his cock filling up your hand, getting harder and harder, the head getting darker from sensitivity, the slickness of the lube and his own cum making it easier for you and better for him. Your other hand traced his side, running your nails over it and you heard his low moan, raising your head and your eyes found his. He was observing you again, glancing from the photo to you, the corner of his lips tugging upwards, ticking his head to the screen.

“That it?”

You ran your nails over his skin, just the way he liked it, light, pressing in a little when it came to the upper side of his hip, seeing his pupils expand and his breathing shallow, pink tongue licking his lips slowly.

“Yeah,” you replied breathlessly.

You increased the pace, pumping him from base to head, entranced by Yoongi’s expression, desire and cockiness despite becoming unraveled in your hands, his lower body trembling under you, your thighs pressed to his tense ones, tempting you to sit on and rub yourself all over them.

“Pretty dick.”

Slap, slap, slap. Hand on wet cock, sending shivers through you and through him.

“That’s why it could be yours.”

You saw his cheeks flush light pink, but he didn’t look away. Instead, he made piercing eye contact.

“Stop.”

You gasped sharply and ceased all movement, feeling his rigid stiffness pulse against your palm.

“Look,” Yoongi commanded in that low, raspy voice of his.

You bit your lip and removed your hand, strings of fluids snapping between your fingers and his hot, taut skin. His cock was so hard that it was sticking straight up, dark and imposing, twitching slightly. Long pale fingers picked up your phone and held it next to his erection.

“Well?” he chuckled.

You chewed on your lip, squinting at the screen. Reached over and ran your wet fingers over his twitching length, hearing Yoongi hiss and gasp at your touch as you angled his dick to match up with the photo. Surprisingly, it wasn’t that difficult – the position seemed to match up perfectly. He was a little taller and thicker though. The shape of the head was similar, but also a bit off. The skin tone wasn’t quite correct either, the red-purple with subtly differing undertones. Still, lighting might affect that kind of detail. It wasn’t like you knew where this picture was taken.

“Hm… It’s really close, but not an exact match.”

“Well, damn.”

Yoongi tossed your phone aside carelessly, hand reaching out and you bent down, already knowing what he wanted, lips to lips, sliding against his body. You loved the way he kissed. Intense but soft, hand on your jaw and thumb caressing your cheek, nail grazing your earlobe, whispering into your lips, put me between your thighs, and you shifting up, closing your thighs around his wet cock, his lustful sigh and smirk on your lips, slowly thrusting in between your legs.

“Tighter.”

You hooked your ankles, one over the another and squeezed.

“Mmm, fuck yes, you’re so good…”

His words reminded you of the first time, crammed into the backseat of a small car, snuck out of a party to have Min Yoongi pull you into his grasp, tongue and lips all over you, your arms over his shoulders, wondering what you were doing because this kind of guy wasn’t your type, quiet, yes, a music nerd, yes, however he knew what he was doing, light bites on you skin making you gasp and slide down his jean-covered thigh, delicious friction to your soaked panties, tipping your head back to give that decadent mouth more access to your throat.

Your phone vibrated in your back pocket. A certain someone was probably wondering where you were.

“Yoongi, how… fuck, yes, how are you so good… you’re so good…”

His deep voice over your vocal cords, vibrating them with his seductive tone.

“DND your phone,” he purred, drawing a line down your throat with his tongue, coating you with his saliva, his musky, woody cologne transferring to your shivering skin.

“What��?” you panted, unable to think straight.

He plucked it out of your back pocket, tapping it against your arm.

“Put it on do not disturb and I’ll make you cum so hard that you’ll be coming back to me all the time.”

You fumbled with your phone, strong hands scooping out your breasts from your top, those lips sinking into your cleavage and tongue ghosting over your nipples, moaning as you dropped it, ignoring Park Jimin’s text, lost in those skillful hands and that expert mouth that eventually kissed down to your pussy and drove you crazy, but not before setting your skin on fire and making you beg for it.

“Yoongi…”

His lips on yours, his eyes and your eyes both half-open, marveling at the way his lashes adorned those black brown orbs and the way he looked at you, drunk on lust and your body.

“You want me?”

Hands on your hips, grinding you down on his thigh, teasing you. He wasn’t your type, he wasn’t your type, he wasn’t your type… so why, why did that sly, knowing gaze do things to you? Why did it make your heartbeat stutter and your juices seep into the denim of his jeans, so turned on that you didn’t want anything else right now but Min Yoongi?

It just didn’t make any sense.

“Y… Yeah…”

That smirk.

“I know you do.”

You did end up coming back all the time.

He was very good and it wasn’t just his mouth.

Yoongi backed up and smirked, open-mouthed, mischievous, so fucking hot that you felt your pussy throb at the mere sight, his warm, pulsing length still jammed between your soft, closed thighs.

“You wanna ride my dick?”

You grinned. “Thought you’d never ask.”

You completely forgot about the photo and spent the rest of the night on Yoongi’s cock and ignoring the yelling from his neighbors.

-

jung hoseok.

“Hoseokie…”

Teeth on your ear, a dexterous, teasing tongue flicking your earrings, your name coming out of that heart-shaped smile in a low, sultry whisper that contrasted it.

“You can’t come here looking like this and not expect me to want to ruin you,” Jung Hoseok purred into your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

Your lips curved into a smile.

You were on your knees, spread out a little, short black minidress hiked up your thighs, facing the mirrors of the dance studio. Hoseok knelt behind you, hands travelling all over your body. Deft fingers, neatly manicured nails, his sharp jaw grazing your shoulder, pulling down the thin straps. Your large hoodie was tossed to the side, scattered onto the hardwood floor in haste. The frosted door of Smile Hoya’s rented dance studio space was locked, hip-hop music blaring loudly, and in the center was you and Hoseok.

You knew he could hear your shuddering exhale well, already attuned to the sounds of your pleasure.

He smirked and kissed the top of your ear, yanking down the top of your dress.

It wasn’t like this the first time.

“Ah, well, I was hoping… wondering, ah… I don’t know how to say…?”

You were in his bedroom at the time, confused. “Yoongi said you wanted to talk to me about something? What is it, Hoseok?”

He had been very nervous, somewhat shaky, staring into your eyes. You reached over and squeezed his hand, tilting your head. He took a moment to speak, hiding his brown eyes under his blond hair.

“Uh, well, I was talking to hyung and I mentioned I… I feel like I have to put up a front sometimes. Because I’m so happy and stuff. Women expect me to be like that… in bed… And he suggested that maybe you could help me… chill out, but, uh, that’s really rude to say, ah, I shouldn’t have–”

He tried to yank his hand out of yours in panic but you held on, tugged forward by his movement. Hoseok squeaked, ears turning red, freezing in place.

“Hey.”

You held his hand and patted it with your free one, smiling gently.

“I absolutely can help you chill out when it comes to sex. What do you want to know? What do you want to do? I’ll teach you.”

You noticed his expression change from panic to worry, chewing on his lip.

“N… No, you misunderstand… It’s not having sex, I…”

He trailed off, suddenly silent. You frowned slightly, nudging him. Hoseok cleared his throat and looked you dead in the eye.

“I’m not nice.”

Now he squeezed your hand tightly, breathing in your scent.

“Or rather, I don’t want to be nice when I fuck. Sometimes I want to let go and just…” He frowned, not seeming to know the word.

You leaned in, whispering in his ear.

“Fuck?”

“Yeah, I just… don’t want to think about an image I have to uphold.”

You grinned. “Yoongi did direct you to the right woman.”

His blond hair was even lighter now, the tips dyed with navy, a soft, sexy contrast to his rich tan skin. This was now many, many fucks later, hooking up at parties, at random times at his apartment, and now at the space he rented to practice dance on his own. Hoseok liked to freestyle and feel the music. When he fucked, he liked to feel the moment.

His hands gripped your breasts and squeezed, sandwiching your nipples between his index and middle finger, tugging hard.

You gasped in his hands, just what he wanted, open-mouthed smirk and all.

“Hoseok… I have to… ah, ask you something…”

He shoved his hips into your back and you gasped at the thinness of his shorts, rubbing his hardening cock against the top of your ass. A brown orb watched you through the mirror and he was smiling that brilliant, heart-shaped smile, contrasting his forceful touch.

“What do you want to ask?” he chirped cheerfully, pinching your nipples and twisting them.

You moaned, savoring the swift, firm pain followed by the pads of his fingers rubbing the tips of your nipples, grinding your ass onto his stiff length. Your phone was in your right hand. You bit your lip, seeing him watch you carefully in the mirror. You raised the phone and unlocked it.

“Is this your dick?”

You noticed Hoseok pause and squint. You turned your phone and held at up so he could get a good look. His hands were still on your tits, although he had paused the moment to view the image, blinking rapidly at it.

“When was this taken?” He tilted his head, looking confused.

“The party with the wet t-shirt contest? The–”

“One where Yoongi grabbed Taehyung and told him he was his favorite alien child?”

“Oh? You do remember?”

Hoseok winced, as if the events of the night haunted him. “I remember… not much after that…”

“Oh…” You faltered. “So you wouldn’t remember if you took this picture on my phone, huh?”

“No, sorry.”

“Then… can I see it?”

He grinned. “You have to earn it.”

Earning it could mean anything.

Today, earning it meant cumming at least three times with Hoseok’s fingers before he even let you take off his shorts.

“H-Hoseok…!”

He always smelled so good, so fucking good, orange and musk complemented with the barely-there vanilla sweetness, a scent that always seemed to linger on your skin afterward. His lips were on your neck, leaving small bites, chuckling darkly. One hand on your nipple, the other between your legs, your dress bunched at the waist and your panties at your knees, not letting you take any of it off, forcing you to watch yourself as he wrecked you, teasing your oversensitive clit with his fingertips, slick and slippery, thighs shaking from the second orgasm and coaxing you to the third, sharp throbs of lust causing your eyes to roll back, head falling against his shoulder.

“Hoseok, p-please…”

He had no trouble holding onto you, flexible and strong, and you were grinding your hips down, lost in the feeling, leaking everywhere because he hadn’t actually put his fingers inside you yet, teasing you and teasing you and teasing you, driving you crazy, please put your fingers inside me, please Hoseok, your name murmured gently in your ear, no, not until the third time, and then I’m going to put my cock in you once you’ve shown me how good of a girl you are, and you were going to lose your mind, shivering in continued ecstasy, squirming in his hands, your own reaching back and fisting his hair and white shirt, moans masked by the loud music, so close, so close, your perfume mixing with his, sex and cologne, shivers and heat, teeth on your ear and circles rubbed onto your aching nerves.

Shallow gasps.

Peaking pleasure.

Seeing nothing but black, eyelids fluttering, wanton moans torn from your throat.

The song ended.

Hoseok removed his hand from your nipple and covered your mouth, muffling your scream as you came, taking your air and your sanity, pleasure rocketing up your core, crying out with need for something, anything, inside you, pushing your hips back into his crotch, feeling his cock swell at your bouncing ass, desperate for him.

The music began again.

Now you were on your hands and knees, suddenly released, gasping for breath, legs shaking from the aftershocks.

“Look.”

Turning around, your shaking hands pulling down his shorts hurriedly, still wearing your black dress and panties around your knees, hardly registering the inconvenience, not caring, completely focused on the semi-hard length in front of your face. No time. Hoseok gave you no time, grabbing your face and dragging your open mouth to him, sliding into your lips, his oversized shirt touching your nose, you whimpering at the hotness and tautness of his velvet skin. The fullness invaded your throat, taking your breath away. He buried himself all the way in before yanking his shirt up and over his head, tossing it aside with his vest that was shed earlier, far too hot now, looking down at you through his lashes.

“Don’t choke.”

Hand in your hair, pushing you down, not letting you move as he rolled his hips into your face, the head rubbing against the rood of your mouth and your tongue pushing it up to make it tighter for him, taking him deeper, hazy and intoxicated on orange, musk and vanilla. His other hand held your phone up, unlocking it with ease.

Smirk on those lips, heart-shaped and teasing. “So? Is it mine?”

You whined, not wanting him out of your mouth.

“Your choice,” Hoseok chuckled, tone light and unassuming, the edge of danger only visible in those sparkling brown eyes. “Find out or I’ll cum in your mouth and not in that pretty pussy of yours I’m looking at right now.”

Right, because you were bent over, ass facing the mirror, wetness dripping down your inner thighs.

Fuck.

You backed up, growling, glaring at the picture you knew all too well now.

“Well?”

Fine, fine, fine, you were on this fucking Journey to the Dick, and it was starting to feel more like an annoying side mission than the actual main storyline, but, whatever, you reached up and angled Hoseok’s cock slightly, sucking in a breath with him as you looked from phone screen to the delicious real-life specimen. Hm, okay. Similar in length and color. Not in angle though. Shit. And not in width either, barely a hair slimmer and the vein placement was more prominent on Hoseok’s length than this dick.

“Fuck, it’s really fucking close but I don’t think it’s yours.”

“Shit,” Hoseok sighed, turning your phone off and tossing it onto his discarded shirt. “Oh well.”

You narrowed your eyes, pouting. “What kind of react–gah!”

Hoseok pushed you down onto the ground, pushing his shorts down to his knees and pulling out a condom from the pocket, cocking a brow. You sputtered, trying to untangle yourself from the labyrinth of your own clothes, but only managed to kick off your panties before he got the condom rolled down and pushed your legs up, lifting your ass completely off the floor.

“Can’t have this pretty ass on this dirty floor,” he snickered, lifting himself higher, bending you in half, almost on your upper back, nearly uncomfortable, but Hoseok was stronger than he looked, and when he gave you what you needed, you instantly forgot about the discomfort.

“Oooh, fuck, Hoseok!”

He plunged into you, into hot wet tightness, stretching you out easily from the previous wetness, clit throbbing as he smacked his hips down, his balls slapping against your ass, drawing out another moan as his fingers brushed your clit, making you spasm and clench around his cock as he teased the overstimulated bundle of nerves.

“Fuck, yes, so tight, so wet, so desperate for a cock to fill this hole, aren’t you?” he purred, still so sweet but with such dirty words, so handsome with his blond hair and navy tips, heart-shaped smirk and glittering eyes, and the way he said your name, dainty and serene, slowly thrusting into you, but so hard, he was so hard from being inside you, completely consumed by the physicality of the act and no longer the same man who had been worrying about how you would perceive him.

That seemed ages ago now.

Your hands reached up between your legs, running your fingers through his hair, completely forgetting about the photo of the mysterious dick and focused on the one thrusting between your legs, smiling up at him, those brown eyes and lovely jaw.

“You’re so good, Hoseok, so fucking good to me, fuck, harder, yes, ah…”

Both of you forgot about the music, fucking through the pause between them, hoping that everyone else was too busy with their own choreography to think about the hot gasps and moans exchanged between you and him in the middle of the room, the act reflected in the wall of mirrors, the slap of skin-on-skin echoing off the walls, your name and his name in breathless whispers, tight and full and hot and wet and soaring on sky-high pleasure, climbing altitude and running out of oxygen.

“Fuck, gonna cum, fuck–”

“Ah, Hoseok, yes…”

Tip, free-fall, you clamping a hand over Hoseok’s mouth and his hand over yours, screaming into each other’s palms at the intensity and the force of orgasm, smacking your hips together and holding them there, feeling his cock twitch inside you and your shivering walls clamp around him in rough, intense pulses.

It took a moment to disembark from the euphoric high.

“Hah… we should… probably not fuck here…” he gasped, falling a little, cradling your ass so it didn’t directly touch the floor.

“I’d fuck you anywhere, so that’s your fault. You need to be the voice of reason.”

He laughed, rich and infectious, and you grinned, holding his head against your breasts and hugging him tightly.

-

park jimin.

“I hate you.”

“Come on, Jimin.”

"I was supposed to be first!"

"Oh my God, are we going on about this again?!"

"You were supposed to suck MY dick first!"

"Stop being a fucking brat, Park Jimin!"

"No!"

You tackled him and you both fell to the floor, rolling into a mess of giant t-shirts, fierce kisses and your hands in his now red hair, fiery and hot-headed like he was being right now.

"You little–"

"Don't you dare call me little!"

"I was gonna call you a little shithead but if you wanna be a big shithead, that's fine with me!"

He pinned you down and you grabbed his waist with your legs and rammed your crotch into his black shorts, making him gasp in horny pain and crumple into his laundry that you were supposed to help him fold, but instead you were wrestling and he was complaining about not getting his dick sucked.

It was your turn to pin him down with your arms and your thighs, Jimin seeing stars as he struggled to breathe from your lower belly smacking his erection the wrong way.

"Why, ack, why did you run off saying there's a proper order?" he choked out, choking harder as your panty-covered mound sat down on his length and started rubbing up and down, smirking down at him, his red hair flaring out on his cream rug.

"'Cause there is," you replied, calm and cool.

"Order of what? Order of how you fucked us?"

"Nah, I fucked Yoongi first, remember? At that party, ages ago..." you hummed, extending the expanse of your movement, sliding up and down his thighs, his plush lips open and moaning softly, his grip on your large t-shirt tightening. It was actually his, because neither you nor Jimin knew the meaning of keeping your clothes on.

"Yeah, in my car!"

"Eh, you were drunk and playing pool with Taehyung, which, by the way, he mad cheated and you didn't even notice."

"Fuck!"

You weren't sure if that exclamation was related to your teasing or Taehyung cheating, but Jimin removed one of his hands from your shirt and flipped off the wall, in the direction of Taehyung's room.

Ah, so not you.

"Is it age order? But Namjoon isn't the oldest..." Jimin refuted himself, frowning.

"He’s first because he's kind of like the leader of you guys, isn't he? You all end up listening to his reasoning anyway."

Jimin squinted, pouting. "That's just because his tall and smart and has a fatty IQ."

You grinned. "148."

Jimin looked very annoyed that you remembered the exact number.

“I never thought about it, but other than that, it is age order, huh?” you mused, bouncing on his dick.

He shuddered with satisfaction, rolling his hips into you. “Then why would you…?”

You shrugged. “Your names sound good together like that. Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Jeon Jungkook…”

Jimin added your name last with an amused smirk. You bit your lower lip, cocking an eyebrow and sporting a devious smile, leaning down. Lips to lips, a soft sigh, remembering that night, stumbling out of Jimin’s car and tangled in Yoongi’s touch, still kissing Yoongi with your ass on the hood of the car. Jimin had been annoyed at you then too, how could you fuck him first and not me, Yoongi laughing in that raspy, sexy way of his, because I asked, dumbass, Jimin grabbing your face and kissing you right in front of Yoongi, the older man clicking his tongue and squeezing your ass tighter, unimpressed.

In some ways, that night started off the chain reaction of hey, why not me?

Okay, maybe you did have some frustrations about your dating life and ended up tumbling into their beds for, ahem, emotional support, but in your defense, they were all great when it came to emotional support.

“Sit on my face.”

“That’s not the angle of the dick pic though.”

“Then just take the pic from that position. That’s how it was taken, right?”

Sometimes, Park Jimin was a damn genius.

He was great at eating pussy too.

“Ah, fuuuck, Jimin…”

A little messy at first, humming approvingly at your taste, thrusting his tongue into you and moaning as your muscles closed in on it, your slick nectar painting those beautiful, soft lips, him pressing them to your heat, lewd kisses, tongue swiping up and down.

“Gotta clean you up so you can dirty me up,” he breathed, tracing sensual patterns in between your thighs with his tongue, small nips to make you whine, his hands on your ass, moaning into your pussy as your kiss came into contact with his rigid cock, dripping saliva and licking it back up, gyrating your tongue at the tip and licking off the pre-cum, savoring the taste, strong and almost sweet.

Everything about Jimin was sweet, even when he was frustrated with you.

“Fuck, give it to me.”

His hands on your ass, pushing you down, setting your pussy flush onto his lips, blocking off his airway and moaning hotly, desperate, needy, wanting your noises as you swallowed him, his length swelling in your mouth at the wet encasement, swirling your tongue all around.

You’re so mean. I can’t believe you wouldn’t ask me first, get on your knees, come on, aren’t you sorry?

You weren’t, not even in the slightest bit sorry for fucking Yoongi in his car, but you had enjoyed his little pout and twinge of jealousy, kisses up his muscular thighs, the same thighs you were clutching right now, one hand tucking your hair behind your ear, remembering his hand on the back of your head, pushing you down on his cock, the same cock you buried all the way into the back of your throat, blocking your own ability to breathe, suffocating on it as Jimin groaned, coming back up for air, rushing exhale washing over your skin before returning to his work on your clit, rapid, intense licks that shimmered pleasure through your veins.

Jimin made you choke on his dick after the Yoongi incident, but you were the one in control of it now, rutting the head against your throat muscles, feeling it get harder and harder. He always felt so good in your mouth, recalling him saying once, I just really like getting my dick sucked, shut up and stop shaming me, tongue and lips and saliva, remembering how much he liked it when you held the base and focused on the tip, his muffled whines getting more intense and vibrating your core, making sure to pop your lips over the bottom of the head every time you came up and then pressing them tightly as you went back down, doing it all at that fast, suffocating pace that made him stop licking you to throw his head back and moan, loud lust radiating off the walls, not caring about disturbing anyone, too absorbed into your pace to be considerate.

“F-Fuck, yeah, just like that, fuck, you’re so good…”

Jimin was part of the reason you were good.

He really liked getting his dick sucked. Your mouth was one of his favorites and usually readily available.

Win-win.

“Faster, fuck, oh, shit, I’m gonna cum, mmmphf!”

He grabbed your ass and smothering himself with your pussy, body trembling under you as his cock jerked and shot into your throat, your lips closing in, sucking hard to drink his cum, his moans filling your wet hole and tongue all over your clit, furiously licking as you rubbed the twitching head into the roof of your mouth, his hips squirming at the overstimulation, but his violent grip and nails digging into your ass was telling you to do it, telling you he loved it, telling you he needed it, begging you to do what you did best, gulping around the head and then jamming it into your throat, cutting off your air.

He sucked on your clit, hard, whining so loud that you could feel it in his chest and racing heartbeat pressed against your lower belly, almost lifting your lower half with his upper body alone, showing off his strength from dancing. You angled your head, taking as much as you could, nose in his balls, whimpering around his cock and the snap of orgasm making your entire body flinch, leaking all over his face and into his mouth, his nose buried into your pussy, tongue soothing your throbbing clit, wave after intense wave, barely breathing, lightheaded with pleasure, clutching his thighs tightly, naked bodies suddenly dirty, surrounded by clean laundry.

Jimin yanked his head out from between your legs, panting in satisfaction, diving back in to shove his tongue on your quivering hole and scoop out your orgasm, sucking it out to drink it, murmuring your name into your slick juices.

“You taste so fucking good, fuck…”

You came up for air, gasping, tongue lolling out, holding his cock and rubbing the slit against your wet muscle. His stiff length twitched, still hard because of your mouth.

“Take the picture, mmm, yes, did you forget?” Jimin gasped into your pussy.

You fumbled with your phone beside his leg, still reeling from orgasm and Jimin’s continued ministrations, putting it in selfie mode and seeing the lower half of your face, chin shiny with saliva, his cum dripping off your lower lip, his cock in front of your face and naked chest, your breasts pressed into his abs.

You thought about licking off the visible cum, but then you decided against it, snapping the photo with your tongue hovering close to his rock-hard erection.

You knew the composition of the inspirational dick pic now, so you brought it up in a photo editing app, putting the two side by side while wrapping your lips around the head of Jimin’s cock, sucking it leisurely like a lollipop. He didn’t ask you to get off.

Instead, he planted your pussy into his face and suffocated himself with it again.

You studied the two photos. Hm. Firstly, yours was much sexier. No offense to white t-shirt, blue jeans, and black boxer briefs guy, but your glistening cum-covered lips and squashed tits in the background of the cock made the photo eons better than his. Jimin would definitely be asking for yours later. Anyway, back to the picture. Hmm. Jimin’s dick was slightly shorter and straighter, with a warmer skin tone to his purple-red tip, although the head shape was spot on. Was that possible to have a different length but almost identical head shapes? Did dicks work that way? Did Jimin have an equally sexy twin brother or doppelganger somewhere?

Hm, a threesome with basically two Jimins would be hot as hell.

He patted your leg and you climbed off him, sighing as you rolled over and pursed your lips, concluding that his wasn’t the mystery dick. Once again, close, but no dick. Wait. That wasn’t the saying. Eh, whatever.

“Fuck, send me that photo later, I’m gonna jack off to it.”

You laughed, feeling him crawl beside you and roll you onto your stomach, pinning you down with his naked body. “You wanna jack it to your own dick?”

He was rubbing said dick into the crevice of your ass cheeks now, using your saliva was lube. “Fuck yeah I wanna jack it to my own dick with your lips covered with my cum and your titties on my stomach, sounds fuckin’ hot.”

“You’re such a pervert, Jimin.”

“And you aren’t?”

The front door slammed shut. There was a loud yell of your name in deep baritone.

“Aw, hell no, I’m getting it in this pussy first, I got time before he comes to collect,” Jimin growled, reaching into his discarded shorts and ripping open a condom, scrambling off you and rolling it down his still-hard length, grabbing one of your legs.

You shifted to your side, glaring at him. “What am I, taxes?”

The deep voice called your name again, asking where you were.

He didn’t have to wait long for an answer though, because Jimin thrust into you and you ended up moaning Kim Taeyang’s name to inform him of your whereabouts, causing Jimin to bend over and fuck you hard and rough.

“I can’t believe you would moan his name like that with my dick inside you,” Jimin growled, looking far too cute to actually be pissed at you. “Gonna fuck you so hard that you’ll be sore for him.”

Everything about Jimin was sweet, even when he was firmly fucking you into his floor and making you yelp as Taehyung burst the door open, sighing at the scene.

“Who would have fucking guessed what you two are doing…”

-

kim taehyung.

"You're so fucking stubborn."

"Wow, that's really rude, I don't make comments about your–"

"Shut up, I'm deleting his number."

You narrowed your eyes and frowned, sitting with one leg bent on Kim Taehyung's bed. He was currently in possession of your phone, clicking his tongue and pressing buttons on the screen.

"When someone tells you to leave them alone, you leave them alone," he scolded.

You cowered slightly, eyes shifting. "I was only asking if he was doing anything this weekend... I didn't have any ulterior motives..."

Taehyung squinted. You deliberately avoided his gaze. He sighed, crossing his arms. You were still wearing Jimin's shirt with nothing underneath so, uh, maybe he had good reason to be suspicious.

"You have a virgin kink."

You choked on nothing. "What, no, I don't–"

Taehyung reached over to his desk and put on the thin, gold-framed glasses he kept there. He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. You abruptly stopped talking and gawked at him, breathless at the way his dark brown orbs were bordered by gold and his long, black-brown hair, the rest tied back in a small ponytail.

"And a glasses kink."

He took them off and you sucked in a tight breath, grimacing.

"That's why you keep going after these kinds of guys," Taehyung tutted, neatly folding the specs and placing them back on his desk. "And why you bonked Namjoon-hyung so fast, only to realize that he is not, in fact, a virgin."

"W-Well, he's still good..."

"Same reason why you got so excited when–"

"Look," you cut in, chopping the air with your hand, not letting Taehyung finish. His eyebrow seemed permanently raised. "I'm off my bullshit for now, no? I've got a mission–" You pointed to your phone and he held it out of your reach. You scowled and bounced back down into the bed. His eyes weren't following your face, but you ignored it. "–and I'll stop okay?"

Taehyung cocked his other eyebrow.

"Serious. You just deleted all the numbers except you and your friends, right?"

He turned the screen, thumb hovering over a certain number. Him and his friends were listed from one to seven, in order.

His thumb was over number seven.

"Don't," you whined. "Please, Tae."

His brows lowered, serious expression on his handsome face.

Then he smirked, dumping your phone on the bed.

"Silly girl," he drawled, crawling onto the bed, advancing towards you, sultry gaze and enchanting eyes making you forget about your device. "Why would I do that? He likes you so much."

You growled slightly, letting him push you down but not relenting. "That's really fucked up."

"That I wanna hear you say please?"

His hand lifted and cupped your chin, mischievous smile, unable to contain his pride for his little trick, sliding his leg between your thighs, tilting his head.

"Not just any please," he murmured, deep voice silky smooth, dark curled stands brushing against your cheeks he leaned in, hot exhale on your lips. "Your needy please when I threaten to take your precious Jungkookie from you."

You tried to close your legs but he stopped you with his knee, tilting his head, highly amused at your narrowed eyes.

"You don't like it?" He was leaning down, feathery kisses on your lips and cheeks. "I know you like it when I tease you." His honey voice was dripping into the fire, turning into fuel that fed the sparks of arousal, your hands coming up to clutch his black shirt, pulling down the center zipper, his deep chuckle in your skin, hand from your chin sliding up to your hair, the other tapping down your front, grazing the thin t-shirt material.

"Don't..." you gasped, his deft touch toying with the hem. “Don't use the others against me. That's not fair...”

“Mmm, yeah?”

Drawing circles on your inner thigh with his nail, nicking the skin.

"You only want to think about me?"

Your phone hummed with a notification. Taehyung chuckled, fingers creeping closer and closer.

"Aw, I wonder who that is? But that's too bad, because you're all mine right now."

You gasped, clutching his open shirt as his fingers slid in, two because you were already wet, shallow breathing and lidded eyes telling him enough, taking your lips with his, pace slow and steady and maddening, spreading your legs with his knees, forcing you to tip your hips up to him in an embarrassing position.

Then again, embarrassment during sex wasn't part of your vocabulary.

You pushed his black shirt down one shoulder and reached in, your fingers snaking to the hem of the white undershirt and stroking his skin, his satisfied exhale hot against your neck, you remembering the way the water drenched the fabric and stuck it to his golden tan skin, playfully flexing his defined chest and biceps, adorable and arousing because Kim Taehyung was both. He separated his digits inside your pussy to create a loud, sharp, wet squelch. You heard him grin, smug at the dirty sound, then begin plunging his fingers in and out, in and out of the tightness, trying to be as noisy as possible. You clenched your core to make him work for it, force him to be rougher with you, his fingers curling in your hair, yanking firmly, lips on your ear.

"See, how can those boys you pick keep up with you, hm? They won't know what to do with your pretty, sexy self," he purred, faster, harder, pushing you to the edge with your heated moan and your hands all over his chest, lifting your hips to meet his touch. "You need us to take care of you, don't you?"

Fuck, the way Taehyung said your name.

Like it was a decadent sweet he was craving, a taste compared to no other.

Your head fell back into the pillows, breathing in his warm scent in shallow puffs, his name pouring out of your lips, yearning and desire.

"Mmmm, Taehyung...."

Melting you into it, sweet bliss and sharp jerks of your hips into his hand, gasping at the flood of euphoria, trying to squeeze your thighs around his hand and stopped by his open legs. Your throbbing pussy gripped his fingers and made him hiss, his devious smirk growing as you lowered your chin again to look into those dark eyes, shivering under his intense gaze.

“Let’s play a little game.”

His tongue slid out, lickings your lips lightly.

“It’s called, how many fingers can I stuff in you before you’re begging for my dick?”

“What kind of – oh, f-fuck!”

One more.

Aching tightness, clenching your jaw, trembling at the ease of it, Taehyung cocking an eyebrow.

“Ah, yeah, three’s too easy, huh? You already warmed up.”

One more.

“Fuck, Tae, fuck!”

His dark eyes glittering, pleased at your reaction.

“That’s better. That’s what I wanna hear.”

Whines in your throat as he picked up the pace, fast and hard, clutching his shirt and his side, your nails digging in, stretched out and stuffed with four, your eyes rolling back and one leg sliding up to hook around his waist, meeting each thrust, so deep, so full, so wet, loud and obvious and uncaring of who was listening – probably Jimin with a huge smirk on his face – panting Taehyung’s name over and over, feeling the strength in his hold and his grip in your hair, pulling lightly, shooting pricks of pain down your head to meet the oppressive pleasure brimming in your core, closer, closer.

“What do you want?” Taehyung growled, that deep voice dangerously low.

“Y-Your c-cock, p-please…” you managed to gasp out, chasing it, chasing the fullness and the depth.

“Can you take it? Can you take it like the good girl you are?”

“A-Ah, yes, please Tae, want it,” you moaned, your fingernails digging into his back, scratching down as your orgasm shattered through you, making your whole body shake and shiver from the intensity, him pulling out. Your moan turned into a hoarse whimper, squirming as he rubbed your clit with his slick fingers, spanking it and teasing it, rocketing you into peaks and valleys of cut-off ecstasy that drove you insane, clawing at his clothes, desperate for his body on yours.

“What’s your magic word?”

“Please.”

He grinned at you despaired tone.

“That’s it.”

It took no time at all, your shirt flung aside, Taehyung losing his clothes that were already half-off, hot body to hot body, heated kisses and rummaging in his nightstand drawer, groaning into his mouth as his cock slapped your thigh, hard and thick and ready, dripping pre-cum on you before he yanked you up on top of him, ripping open the condom.

“Work for it.”

Lacing your fingers in his, sliding down onto that impressive girth and gasping as it twitched inside you, rolling your hips down onto it, better than his fingers, bouncing on it with your tits following your rhythm, squeezing his hands. Taehyung liked this kind of intimacy, the kind where he was grinning like the devil under you but still holding your hands as you railed yourself with his dick, rough and hard with your own smug smile, a little erratic but somehow good that way.

He made you work for it and you were good at working for it.

You found a good rhythm and – ba dum tss – rode it, leaning forward to deepen the angle and make it last longer, pulsing around his length with your tight walls, control and power and endorphins, each smack adding to the lewd melody that mixed with heavy moans and shuddering gasps, bringing Taehyung on your rollercoaster, his hips rising, your name rumbling in his chest, blood thudding in your ears at the baritone depth.

“Yes, such a good girl, gonna make me cum, don’t you want me to cum for you?” he panted, fishing for the magic word, bouncing one of his dark brows, his long hair flared out on his pillows, high cheekbones and strong features no longer hidden by wayward strands.

Your tongue between your teeth, grinning wide.

“Yes, please.”

The right inflection of winded want, maybe a little mischievous, but Taehyung liked that, for there was no fun in someone who was too easy.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking sexy.”

He squeezed your hands and thrust his hips up fiercely, shock bolting from your core to your spine to your head, your head snapping back, gasp torn from your throat, flooding his crotch with your juices, overstimulated clit rubbing on the base of his cock and Taehyung was gone too, husky groan falling from his lips, slamming his hips up and locking his legs, shooting jerks of cum into the condom, aftershocks causing you to lose hold on your knees, moan pitching higher as you slipped down on his throbbing length, trapped on it because Taehyung wasn’t going to lower you until he was done, the head pulsing inside you, squeezed out by your shivering walls.

“T… Tae… the picture…”

“Ah… yeah… hold on… lay down for me…”

He wasn’t going to let you leave without his mark anyway.

“Serious?”

“Deadly.”

You laid back against the pillows, spent, holding your phone, Taehyung straddling your chest and stroking his slick cock, plops of cum and lube falling onto your chest, messy dark hair curling around his handsome face. You could see the purple-red head peek out from between his fingers, hear the steady slapping as he pumped it back to full hardness.

“Alright, let’s see.”

Your chest was rattling but you raised your phone, bringing up the picture as Taehyung gripped the base of his cock, lifting it up slightly to put it in position. You squinted at the screen, looking from the photo dick to the real one. Of course. He was definitely bigger, a little thicker, but strangely, the color was almost the same. Was that lightning or similar skin tone? Or perhaps men with really nice dicks just happened to have Taehyung’s tan complexion?

You wouldn’t question it if it was true.

“You’re bigger,” you sighed, tossing your phone aside.

Taehyung smirked proudly. “What a surprise.”

“We all knew that, even before I saw it.”

He chuckled, going back to fisting his cock. “That’s because Jimin has a big mouth and likes to spread rumors.”

“You like that he spends rumors.”

Taehyung shrugged, but his sly expression wouldn’t be hidden even as he shook his head to cover part of his face with his long brown hair, curtaining half of it with darkness, teasing and effortlessly sexy.

“Ready?”

“Mhm, do it.”

You raised yourself onto your elbows, smiling wide, watching his breathing shallow and his eyes close, losing himself in it, faster and tighter, the wetness audible, strong thighs shuddering at your sides. Then he sucked in a breath, hissing your name and tipping forward, painting viscous white strings onto your collarbones and tits, pushing his shuddering cock up and down to spread it out, your clavicle now sticky and covered in his strong scent.

Taehyung ticked his head, lips in a devil’s smile, chest heaving with exertion.

“Your cum necklace is extra pretty today. Take a selfie for me so I can jack off to your cute face later.”

-

jeon jungkook.

“Jungkook?”

Jeon Jungkook shrieked your name like you were Michael Myers and he was Jamie Lee Curtis, flinging himself onto his computer monitor and mashing the power button to turn it off, his long purple hair flying everywhere, brown orbs like saucers, entire body shaking so bad that even his eyebrow piercing was vibrating.

He froze like that.

You blinked at him from the doorframe of his rented studio room, one hand on the knob and the other holding up your phone like a kitchen knife.

His leather bomber jacket was hung over the back of his rolling chair. The chair was currently slowly sliding across the floor, away from him and his panic. Jungkook was wearing a sleeveless black shirt and loose black jeans.

For a guy scared shitless, his pants were pitching a very impressive tent.

Had he been watching porn?

“Er… I knocked…?” you said slowly, pointing to the door. “Do you not hear me?”

“Um, uh, n-no,” Jungkook sputtered, looking you up and down. “No, I d-didn’t.”

“I said I was coming by today. Via text?”

“Was that today?” he echoed hollowly like a ghost in a shell, the end of his question pitching to a higher octave. He coughed and cleared his throat. “Ah. Sorry. I think I f… forgot…” He was not looking at your face, instead staring at your thighs and your shorts, tight and tiny, shredded black denim paired with a loose, long-sleeved black top that read in bold, white, graphic, letters...

REALITY SUCKS.

You pointed to the turned-off monitor.

"Were you watching porn?" you asked cheerfully.

Jungkook's ears turned red.

"Yes," he blurted.

Silence.

A bird cawed outside.

You nodded, closing the door. You tilted your head and locked it, just in case, before waltzing into Jungkook's film studio space, bouncing on the heels of your large black sneakers. "If you're gonna watch porn, you should lock the door. What were you watching? Is it lesbian porn again? Can I–?"

You reached over to turn the screen back on and Jungkook's tattooed hand shot out and grabbed your wrist, yanking you away from it and to him. You blinked rapidly, confused at his tight grip.

"N-No, you can't see. You can't," he sputtered, pinning you against his hard body.

You frowned, annoyed. "Why not? I like porn." You squirmed against him, but he sandwiched you between his forearms, forcing you to look up and face him, thinning your mouth into a line. He gulped, eyes shifting, holding your body against his. His lower lip trembled, mole underneath bouncing with his uncertainty.

"I... It wasn't porn..."

You stopped struggling, confused. "Huh?"

Those dark chocolate eyes found yours, looking guilty.

"I was looking at your pictures."

You blinked rapidly. "What?"

"You know... the ones I take of you sometimes... You said it was okay..."

Ah, yes. Jungkook liked to take pictures of you. He had mumbled that it was because he needed practice and, later in bed, he admitted it was because he considered you his muse, an inspiration of sorts, so would it be okay if, maybe, you just turned a little and laid in his covers just like... like that, yeah, could he take maybe one photo?

"Sure, knock yourself out, dude."

A bit later, far too late, you had realized that had been maybe too chill of a response, but Jungkook seemed to prefer that and he acted less awkward about it every other time he asked to take a picture. They weren't usually dirty pictures. Although you were naked in some of them, they weren't quite inappropriate, every single one framed with delicate, well-thought-out composition. You always sighed and told him he made you look better than you actually were.

Jungkook always insisted you were consistently beautiful.

You pointed between your bodies.

"Were you gonna get off to them or something?" you cheerily inquired, bumping against his pitched denim tent.

"N-No!"

His ears turned scarlet and he jerked sideways, but you held onto him, hands firmly on his hips, not letting him twist away. He quickly covered his ears and pouted at you.

"I was... I just missed you."

You smiled, squeezing his ass. "I missed you too, Jungkook."

Your tone was soft, gentle. He stilled and lowered his hands, lips parting at your words, slightly surprised, incredibly adorable.

His dick twitched in his pants and jabbed your crotch.

A pause.

Jungkook's eyes shifted to the side, mumbling under his breath. "And, yeah, okay, I got horny, but that's only because it's you..."

"That's great, since I definitely wanted to look at your dick as soon as possible!"

His eyes went wide.

You smiled widely.

Then he said something unexpected.

"Ow."

You looked down and backed up as Jungkook frowned and reached down to shift his rock-hard length in his pants, sighing in relief.

"Zipper was killing me..." he grumbled, running a hand through his purple hair.

"We should just take it off then."

"Pardon, we should wha–ah!"

You grabbed fistfuls of his black top and yanked it up and over his head, causing Jungkook to sputter in confusion, throwing his hands up as you unsheathed his muscular torso, leaning in, breathing on his skin, leaving him to untangle himself as your lips closed onto his dark nipple, tongue teasing the small nub.

"Ah, fuck!"

You lifted your lips, tongue still extended, looking up to see him flinging the shirt aside, his long purple hair messy and wild, tattooed arm and un-inked arm lifting, pushing his hair away from his face, his chest rising to your wet muscle, gasping. You had a clear view of that cute little mole under his lower lip, trembling with pleasure before Jungkook looked down at you, hazy chocolate orbs fanned by black lashes, breathing hard.

You ticked an eyebrow, licking slow circles, lips closing in again, sucking daintily.

He bit his lip and let it slowly tease out while you simultaneously teased him, your name leaving his lips in a low moan. You danced your fingertips up his thigh, nail tracing the seams of his jeans, kissing across his chest, his eyes following you, hips rocking into your touch, following your pace, letting you command it. His head tipped back as you kissed down his abs, whimpering with want, curling his fingers into fists.

Jungkook always made you feel like you were touching him for the first time.

"You're not a virgin?"

"No?" Jungkook had repeated after the first time you had fucked him, sounding confused. "I'm just like this? Is that bad?"

"W... well... no, and now that I think about it, you were suspiciously good..."

"You didn't like it?"

You had turned to look at him and, fuck, the way he looked at you, so cute and innocent, uh oh, and then the slightest hint of an open-mouthed smirk dancing on those shapely pink lips, reminding you of someone else.

"Namjoon-hyung said that's what you were into. Is he wrong?"

Voice so deep and so smooth, gliding over you like butter.

You almost hastily defended yourself but one look into those roguish, yet genuine, chocolate eyes and you couldn't lie.

"But... you should enjoy yourself too..."

Jungkook had grinned, endearing and heart-thuddingly handsome. "I do. I told you, this is how I am. You're just my type."

"And what's that?'"

He had pinned you back onto the bed, leaning in.

"Hot and horny."

Turns out.

Seemed to be a running theme with all eight of you.

Right now, his pants were falling and you were sliding up as your hand was sliding down, shushing him quietly, your other hand dancing up his neck and pulling his head down.

"Someone's gonna hear you," you whispered to his open lips, tone and touch implying you didn't give a shit who was listening, wrapping your fingers around his stiff cock the second he pushed his black boxer briefs down, his shivering moan tickling your cheek. His right hand came up to cradle your head and lean it against his, begging whines for you to move, pairing it with an irresistible, husky hiss of your name.

"Please..."

He liked it tight and he liked it rough, liked the way you could lock your fingers and keep that nearly suffocating pace, closing his eyes with a flutter and moaning into your skin, curtaining you with purple, his grip in your hair tightening as you built that speed, filling the rented studio with his silvery, erotic cries.

"Someone out there is going to think you're watching porn," you teased, nudging him with your nose, looping a finger back to smear the pre-cum over the swollen head. He bucked his hips into your hold, lips pressed to your cheek, intoxicated groan warming your skin.

"Kiss me and breathe into my mouth..."

You couldn't say no, not with his voice so soft and pleading like that, not with that edge of nervousness. Fuck, the way Jungkook succumbed to your kiss, uncontrollable tremors taking over his shoulders, hot taut skin twitching in your palm indicating he was close, and you almost broke away to say that he shouldn't cum like this, it'll be messy and get on the floor, but he grabbed your face and didn't let you go, whimpering in his throat, wordlessly telling you to do it, exhale into his throat and he groaned in his chest, long, drawn-out, consumed by lust, and maybe it was bad, but you loved it, loved the way he wanted it so bad, wanted you to push the air out of his lungs and suffocate his pulsating cock with your grip, pre-cum leaking between your fingers, finally pulling back and gasping, his lashes fluttering helplessly.

"G-Gonna cum, f-fuck!"

You had to think fast, looking down for a moment and feeling his cock jerk in your hand, swiftly switching to cupping the dark red head, thick white cum suddenly spurting your palm, Jungkook burying his face into your hair to muffle his wail, your scalp hot with his released exhale and your hand covered in his heated release.

You breathed in, smirking at the scent of dirty gratification.

"Jungkook..."

He whined softly, hips quivering as you covered his jerking length with your cum-covered hand, spreading it all over and getting him hard again.

"There's this picture..."

"Mmm, yeah, the h-hyungs told me... don't stop..."

You swung your hips from side to side, free hand running down his chest, your eyes roaming his toned body, his tattooed arm still hovering over your head, long fingers tangled in your hair still, squatting down and opening your mouth, tongue dancing out and licking your hand and the side of his purple-red length, wet sloppy kisses, slurping up his cum and moaning on the throbbing head, making sure that he could feel the sinful heat.

"Give me... oooh, fuck, give me your phone..."

Your hand left his abs reluctantly, tugging your phone out of your ass pocket and holding it up for him as your mouth closed around his cock, swallowing it all, eyes closing, cramming all of him until the head hit your inner throat and your lips pressed against his crotch, knees on the tile floor, thighs spread, hands poised in the air, unable to breathe.

Click.

You cracked open one eye to see Jungkook holding your phone above your head, teasing smirk on his shapely lips, mole winking at you.

“For me?” he asked, not quite innocent.

It was the first time Jungkook had taken an actual dirty picture.

You shrugged as if to say, sure, pulling back as he turned the phone around, the dick in question on the screen. You eased off his length, licking it clean, bringing up your wet hand covered in his cum, popping your lips off the engorged tip and sliding your fingers in your wet lips, tongue wriggling between your fingers, inspecting the two dicks. Jungkook was still hard – so hard that his cock was sticking straight out, almost mimicking the photo. You had to crouch a little more, tilting your head and placing your fingertips on his balls, raising his dick a little on the back of your hand, smearing saliva and pre-cum on your skin.

Yon continued to lick, grazing the underside of his length with your tongue and then pulling back, eyes going from the photo to the real thing.

Jungkook moaned above you, clutching your phone tightly, knuckles white under black tattoos.

Hm.

You tilted your head.

One way.

Then the other.

Hmmm?

Hmmmmmmm.

“W… What?” Jungkook stuttered above you.

You pursed your lips at the tip of his cock, swiping your tongue over it and sucking off the pre-cum. He gasped, hips shaking, threatening to shove it into your lips.

“It doesn’t look like your dick at all.”

“What?” He sounded startled.

You pointed with your dry hand. “The shape is a little off, you’re longer and slightly bigger, and the color is different.” You sighed, whooshing hot air over his soaked, taut skin, Jungkook whimpering. You squinted slightly.

“Still…”

You tapped your lips with his cock, thinking.

“I think he wears the same underwear brand as you.”

“He does?” Jungkook squeaked, spinning the phone around and blinking at it.

You shrugged. “And for some reason, the position of his hips reminds me of you. I don’t know why…”

He chewed his lower lip, staring at the phone.

“Oh well.”

You stood up abruptly at your words and plucked the phone out of his hand, putting it on his desk.

“If it’s not you, it’s not you. Let’s fuck.”

Jungkook yelped as you grabbed the bottom of your shirt and began stripping off your clothes.

That was his reaction that one time you lost strip poker to Kim Seokjin and him at that one party, not that your cared because you didn’t bother learning the rules. You had other priorities and they involved getting mostly naked and then pinning Seokjin down to make out with him as Jungkook gawked at the other side of the table, half-clothed, clutching his cards.

“I can… go…?” he had sputtered.

You surfaced from Seokjin’s plush lips, his hands around your bare waist, the taller man gasping for air, reeling from your kiss.

“I still have one more piece of clothing to go, Jungkook.”

Side of your lower lip between your teeth, cocking an eyebrow, swaying your panty-covered ass at those huge brown eyes.

“You can help, you know.”

Fun night.

His eyes were huge now too, your back against the wall and him rolling the condom down, lifting your leg and sliding into you, gasping at your tightness, leaning down to kiss you again, greedy and ravenous, his hips jerking upwards, forcing you on tiptoe. Your hands were on his shoulders, nails digging into that soft skin and strong muscle.

“F-Fuck me, Jungkook, mmm, fuck, yes…”

You didn’t really get to talk during that strip poker night because your mouth was full of Seokjin’s dick as Jungkook’s pounded you from behind, but it would be a crime to complain about such things.

You met your hips to his to deepen his thrust, enjoying his strength, powerful and steady, fucking you against the wall, wet slaps and soft moans filling the room between harsh kisses, lips swelling from the fervor, your ass even rhythmically smacking into the wall, but neither of you cared, your leg around his slim waist and his right arm wrapped around it, his fingers digging into your thigh, black tattoos and tan skin gleaming from sweat, his other hand clutching a fistful of your ass and ramming your drenched pussy down on his stiff cock, grinning at your soft cry of his name, staring into his eyes and not looking away, spellbound by chocolate orbs framed by wispy strands of purple.

“You always feel so fucking good…”

You pulsed around him, feeding the fire, wanton exhales mixing, dick pic forgotten.

-

“Hah…”

You rolled over, sighing loudly.

“Haaaaaaah…”

“You still fixated on that dick?” a deep, unimpressed voice said next to you.

You frowned and planted your phone with the inspirational dick on your face, praying for it to come to life and choke you.

“I never found out who it was…” you mumbled.

“Well, it is Saturday night. We can go crash a party and maybe you can find that dick!” exclaimed a joyful voice, poking your side. Your phone slid off your face and clattered to the floor. A cheerful hand covered in colorful clay rings waved at you and your gaze shifted to Jung Hoseok and his blond and pink hair. He was too cute and you were unable to help yourself as you looked at him, matching his heart-shaped smile.

“Nah,” you tutted. “If it’s not one of you guys… the dick isn’t worth it.”

You closed your eyes and sighed again, long and with longing.

“If it makes you feel better, we don’t know who it is either.”

You laughed hearing Kim Namjoon’s deep, serious voice. “How would you guys find out?”

“I know a lot of things,” Park Jimin’s angelic, light voice chirped.

“Too many things,” Kim Taehyung’s baritone voice remarked coolly.

“Are you gonna eat that slice of pizza, Jungkook?”

“Yeah, hyung, I am, no, stop–”

“Give Seokjinnie-hyung a bite!”

“Over my dead body!”

“Then you’re dead to me, boy! Respect your elders!”

You heard some slapping and flailing about, but didn’t open your eyes.

“He’s probably not a virgin anyway. Virgins don’t snap pics like that on strangers’ phones.”

You cracked an eye open and narrowed it at the form laying on the ground beside you. Min Yoongi was messing with his phone. His head was on a huge pillow that he wasn’t sharing. He seemed to notice your glare and turned his head to raise a lazy eyebrow at you, cat-like eyes shrouded by black hair.

“Isn’t that what you’re into?” he taunted.

Your eye twitched.

You growled, sitting up. “I’m not into virgins, damnnit! I just like listening to people who are knowledgeable about their interests, like how Namjoon goes on about human philosophy, and how Seokjin never shuts up about MapleStory, and like how you talk about music theory. Just because I don’t understand right away doesn’t mean I don’t try,” you snapped, prodding Yoongi’s firm pecs through his t-shirt. He didn’t move, completely unbothered as you continued your tirade. “I don’t know anything about TikTok, but I like listening to Hoseok talk about the latest dance and fashion trends. Jimin’s the only reason I don’t make an ass of myself at parties because he knows everything about everyone so I don’t accidentally sit in a taken person’s lap and cause trouble. Taehyung’s always following that animal rescue Instagram and giving me cool facts about all these different creatures. Jungkook can go on for hours about cameras. I still don’t think I even know how to work the aperture function on DSLRs, but as long as he will continue to explain, I’ll listen.”

You sucked in a deep breath and seethed.

“So what’s the difference?”

“What?” you scowled.

Yoongi shrugged casually.

“Why do you keep chasing dorks with glasses struggling to get stupid graduate degrees when the people you spend the most time with are here with you right now, ready to fuck you at any time?”

“That’s–”

Your words died in your throat, Yoongi’s words finally sinking in.

Silence.

“Hyung, I’m struggling to get a grad degree…” Namjoon cut in, but the black-haired man on the floor lifted a finger and sliced the air, quieting him instantly. Yoongi was watching you carefully, head tilting at your frozen state. Your brain seemed to have ceased function. His lips curved into a slow, open-mouthed smirk.

Yoongi dropped the bomb on you.

“Didn’t you think it was a bit suspicious that the dick had elements from all of ours, but never quite matched up?”

W… What?

Your head whipped to your fallen phone and you scrambled with it, bringing up the dick pic again. The photo showed up at the party with the wet t-shirt contest. Your phone has disappeared for two hours during said party. Everyone was drunk. No. Everyone had gotten drunk after your phone had mysteriously been found and returned to you. You spent the night in various laps doing various naughty things, not bothering to check your phone after retrieving it, leaving it as a later you problem. You filed through your memories, recalling their faces as you showed each and every one of them the photo.

Hold on.

“Didn’t you think it was a bit weird, almost as if…”

They weren’t as weirded out as one might be, seeing some random dick on your phone.

As if…

“As if one of us is good at photo manipulation, perhaps,” Yoongi purred.

As if they had expected to see such a photo.

Click.

You whipped your head to the left and a whirlwind of dark purple hair went flying under the coffee table, hiding behind broad shoulders, chestnut brown hair, and full lips forming an ‘o’. At the same time, the realization hit you like a falling piano from the sky.

“Did you all…” you choked, mechanically jerking from face to face, Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and lastly, back at Seokjin because Jungkook was cowering behind him, large brown doe eyes behind a massive shoulder. “D-Did you all…?”

No way.

“Did you all take a dick pic and Photoshop them together into one superdick photo and PLANT IT ON MY PHONE?!”

One look at those seven faces and…

YUP.

Taehyung laughed, loud and rich, nudging Namjoon with his elbow. “Told you she wouldn’t check the details of the photo and realize it was from an outside source.”

You started and swiped around. The file name was close enough to your camera photos’ file names, but upon closer inspection…

“Oh my God…”

“She’s very easily distracted by dick,” Hoseok chuckled, infectious grin on his face.

“I am not!”

“Wanna bet?”

“Jimin, do not whip out your dick.”

You heard your name being called softly and looked up, clutching your phone, still stunned and flabbergasted that you had been lusting after a fake dick that was a fuckin’ Megazord of the seven dicks currently surrounding you and those seven were the very dicks that tricked you!

On purpose!

For what?

FOR FUN!

(GG, no re)

They got you good.

Your irritation immediately dissipated when your eyes found those anxious chocolate ones, long purple strands curling around his cheek, curious open mouth with the small mole underneath barely visible.

“Are you mad?” Jungkook asked quietly, pink lips curving into an irresistible pout.

Oh.

Shit.

Before you could quickly say, no, of course not, Jungkook, it was funny, I’m not mad at all, you felt a dark presence by your shoulder, raspy chuckle by your ear, sending shivers down your spine, whispering your name, devious and smokey.

“Whose idea do you think it was?” Yoongi murmured.

You stared into chocolate eyes.

Innocent.

Or…?

Jungkook’s pout disappeared.

His dark eyebrow cocked, mischievous smirk gracing those irresistible lips. No, not just him. Lowered lids and midnight blue hair, smug expression with a dimple. Kim Namjoon. Lifted chin, looking down at you with a sheepish yet wicked smile on full lips. Kim Seokjin. The black head of hair leaning his chin on your shoulder, laugh like a seductive purr. Min Yoongi. Tilted head balanced on long fingers decorated with colorful rings and bracelets, sly heart-shaped smile. Jung Hoseok. Shit-eating grin fanned by red hair, bouncing a perfectly manicured eyebrow. Park Jimin. Long dark brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, spare strands framing a moody, handsome face with a glint of playful cunning. Kim Taehyung.

And then, Jeon Jungkook.

“The hyungs thought it was a great idea,” he drawled, silvery and sweet, looking extremely pleased with himself, running his tattooed hand through his purple hair, unquestionably guilty, but despairingly angelic in appearance.

These fucking…. Seven Kings of Duality!

You were positively fuming.

Silence.

An owl hooted outside the window.

“YOU PUNKS!”

You threw yourself over the coffee table and horny chaos ensued.

-

2021.09.01 - JK birthday drabble 2021.10.02 - Namjoon birthday drabble

--

masterpost

[illfoandillfie]

A continuation of the sub!Bri blurb but with pegging??💚 (This was requested during my 1000 follower celebration but I must have accidentally deleted the actual ask oops. Double oops since it’s been sitting half written in my drafts for over a year now lmao)

Original sub!Bri blurb / Part 2 

Blurb Advent Day 2

The others didn’t leave until well into the evening, leftovers from lunch becoming dinner as you sat around the yard in the fading light. Roger had managed to keep what he’d witnessed to himself for about half the day, spilling it to Freddie and John as they set up a game of pool. Brian countered with the information you had on Roger’s own submissive proclivities, but they didn’t take the bait, preferring to tease Brian who was less likely to laugh it off and so more fun to taunt. You couldn’t really blame them, though the way you teased Brian was very different.  

When everyone finally decided to call it a day, wrangling children into car seats and trying to sort out who owned which serving plates, Brian seemed glad. He stood behind you on the driveway, arms draped over your shoulders, pulling your back against him.  

“Be a good boy now Bri,” Roger laughed, patting Brian on the shoulder as he headed towards the car.

“Oh fuck off Rog,” 

“Tut tut, language dear, wouldn’t want to get a spanking now, would we?” 

Freddie appeared suddenly to join in. 

Brian groaned and dropped his head forward.

“Alright you two, move along,” you said to the giggling pair, making shooing motions with your hands. 

“Sorry, Y/N, didn’t mean to step on your toes. We leave him in your capable, if slightly dirty, hands,”

The teasing left Brian blushing as you waved everyone off, engines coming to life, car horns tooting in farewell. Brian sighed behind you, dropping a kiss to the top of your head before he turned to go back inside. He went straight to the kitchen, running a sink full of hot, soapy water to wash the dishes in. You helped him, drying off the plates and cutlery he handed you, watching as the blush faded from his cheeks and his shoulders lost the tension they’d held.  

“About what happened in here earlier… I’m sorry Rog told the other two and that they teased you about it. If I’d known he was going to blab I wouldn’t have insisted on doing it.” 

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” 

“You weren’t embarrassed?” 

He shrugged, “Maybe a bit, but it’s hard to be completely embarrassed around them now. We’ve spent so much time together and they’ve seen way worse shit than me getting a handjob from my girlfriend. Besides, it was pretty hot.” 

“Oh,” you laughed, “well in that case, I’m also incredibly proud of how well you did. You were such a good boy for me.” 

You watched as Brian visibly shivered at the praise. 

“Not fair. You know what those words do to me.” 

You dropped your tea towel to the bench, stepping closer to Brian, “You did so well I might be inclined to give you a reward, if you want one,” 

“A reward? What sort of reward?” 

“Your choice. I could suck you off, or ride you, or if you wanted to try tying me up for a change you could. Whatever you want.” 

“Will you fuck me?” 

“You mean…?” 

“Yes. Please?” 

“Aww honey, of course I will. I’ll finish putting things away here and meet you in the bedroom, okay? Get out all the supplies and then strip.” 

“Yes Ma’am,” he laughed, long legs carrying him quickly from the room.   You put away the dishes you’d managed to clean and stacked the rest by the sink, washing your hands thoroughly when you were done.  

Brian was waiting on the bed when you walked through the door, just as you asked. Beside him was your harness, a bottle of lube and the dildo he’d picked out. You smiled at the sight, Brian’s long legs stretched out on the bed, his hands very deliberately behind his head to keep the temptation of touching himself at bay. 

“So,” you said as you stepped into the room and began undressing, “what are you thinking?” 

“Umm,”  he pushed himself to sit up so he could watch you more easily, “I think if I ride you to start and then maybe change position once I’ve adjusted a bit?” 

“Sounds good to me, it is nice to just lie back and watch you. Is that why you like when I’m on top so much?” 

Brian gave a non-committal shrug, blushing slightly as you kicked away the last of your clothes and crawled over him. 

“Pass me the lube, honey,” 

He nodded and reached for it, gladly accepting the kiss you offered in exchange for the tube. You were still kissing him as you popped the lid and squeezed some onto your hand, spreading it around his hole as he whimpered against your lips. You gathered a little more lube on your thumb before pressing the digit to the tight ring, muttering soft encouragement against his lips as you slowly stretched him out.

It was almost a shame to stop fingering him, putting an end to the soft whines he was making, but you both wanted more. He watched your every move as you stood and slipped into the harness, adjusting the straps until it sat comfortably. He watched even closer as you lubed up the dildo, stroking your hand over it’s entire length and cooing about what a good choice he’d made and how you couldn’t wait to see him stretched around it. You settled yourself on the bed, laying back against the pillows, legs bent at the knees. Brian crawled over you, leaning down to kiss you before he lowered himself onto the dildo slowly, sinking down inch by inch. You rubbed his thigh and softly praised him as his breathing got heavier and he shut his eyes. He let out a shaky breath once he was settled.

“You okay honey?” 

“Yeah, just need a second,” 

“Take as long as you want,” 

He nodded, composing himself before he lifted up on his knees and then sank down again, slowly riding your fake cock as he adjusted.  

“Good boy, doing so well.”  

Brian whined and sped up slightly, dropping himself harder on each pass. 

“Fuck you look so pretty, taking my cock so well.” It was true too. You couldn’t help but fall a little more in love with Brian as you watched his soft features contorted with pleasure. His hair was messy, framing his face as it fell about his shoulders and bounced with each shift of his hips. A blush stained his cheeks, only getting deeper with each complement you paid him, and he was biting his lower lip with such force you were sure you’d taste blood if you kissed him again. You let your eyes fall to his cock, jutting out into the air, it’s head a similar colour to Brian’s cheeks though getting darker with every second it wasn’t touched. He was the very picture of dishevelled pleasure, especially as he threw his head back with a moan as he found a particularly good angle. It was then you knew there’d be no switching positions, at least not this round. You’d edged him too much over the last few days for him to last long, even with the handjob in the kitchen earlier, and besides, he wouldn’t want to stop now, not when he was mindlessly fucking himself toward release. So you thrust up into him.   Brian’s eyes went wide and his mouth fell open, releasing a proper moan. Nothing like the quiet whines and soft moans he’d been making so far. It was the kind you’d hear in a porn film. You wanted to do it again but even more so you wanted to be sure he was okay with it, so you waited. 

“Do it again, please?” 

You grinned at his request and repeated the action, meeting his own thrust with yours. His cock twitched. And really, it would have been cruel for you to stop when he was enjoying it so much, so you did it again and again, fucking into him so you could watch him come completely undone.  

When your thighs started to burn with the strain you wrapped your hand around his cock, pleased to hear him hiss in pleasure. You wanked him off as you fucked his arse, doing everything you could to get him off, encouraging him to cum with your words as much as your actions. He didn’t last much longer, unable to resist the way your thumb rubbed over the head of his dick in time with the cock buried deep inside him. He twitched in your hand as ropes of cum shot out over your stomach, Brian panting and moaning above you, no longer moving over you but shaking slightly. Suddenly he leaned forward and kissed you hard, making you giggle and spreading the mess he’d made even further.  

“Thank you,” he said, breathlessly. 

“You’re very welcome honey,” 

“Love you,” 

“Love you too. You wanna hop off now and I’ll get something to clean us up,” 

Brian nodded and, gingerly, climbed off you, wincing slightly as he collapsed on his back. He stayed there, quietly observing you as you released the harness and then stepped into the en-suite in search of a flannel, thanking you once you’d brought it out and begun to clean the both of you up. When you were done you joined him on the bed, stroking his cheek and offering extra praise.  

“What about you? You could have my fingers or I could eat you out if you want,” 

You shook your head, “Don’t even think about it, that was your reward and I had enough fun just watching you.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Positive. But I might take you up on your offer a bit later.” 

Brian smiled, “whatever you want,” 

“Right now I’m feeling TV, ice cream, maybe a gin and tonic. How about you?” 

“Sounds brilliant.”

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

thoughts on the best villain archetypes, since you don't like my whiny crybabies lmao

Referencing this ask To be clear! I love crybaby villains, I just prefer them when they’re not going through moral dilemmas. Like again to bring up Phantom of the Opera: I love Erik regardless of his last minute come to jesus moment, not because of it. A big reason I do love the larger story is because his come to jesus moment is not through “the love of a good woman” as opposed to just a moment of self realization. But again, I’d still love him as a character even if he were rotten till the last moment.  I did give you a short list off the top of my head when you brought it up the other day. But let’s go in depth: Evil Queen:  Generally, I fucking love bitches in power. They’re often times very vain and very in control of their shit, to the point where that is their weakness. This usually ends in them spiraling and losing that carefully constructed demeanor. I define the queen aspect loosely, but they must be in charge of whatever is the story scope’s main institution. The appeal is equal parts aesthetic, power fantasy, and watching that inevitable Machiavellian spiral at the end. Examples: Cersei, Azula, Lady Macbeth, and more obscure but my favorite is Arianrhod in Snow Queen Cycle.

The Mentor: This type of villain tends to be overbearing, well spoken, volatile, and genuinely believing they’re in the right. The power imbalance is integral, and the initially positive relationship that later turns suffocating. (The latter aspect being why I prefer Louis and Lestat’s relationship in the film to the novel, there’s a longer span of time before Louis hates him.) And it usually— and ideally— ends in the protégée rising above their reach and eventually killing them. The appeal here lies in revenge fantasy, wanting nuanced portrayals of dysfunctional dynamics, and lmao I’ve just had some very messed up relationships, okay. Examples: Erik/Phantom of the Opera, Lestat, What The Darkling Could’ve Been.

Righteous Villains: This character type is often (and ideally) religiously motivated, but being consumed by any sort of ideological perspective is good enough. These are the evil priests, the political fanatics, the horribly devoted knights and warlords. They also need a position of institutional power at all, though they do not need to be at the top of the food chain, even within the scope of the story. I prefer these characters with a lot of tragedy or at least through a vaguely sympathetic angle, but pure evil is honestly fine too. It’s all extensions of the same trope imo. The appeal is more in seeing how dogmatic ideals can twist and ruin a person. And how institutions like the church can be wielded for selfish gain. Examples: Claude Frollo, Javert, Konstantin from the Winternight Trilogy.

I think saying which are the best archetypes is definitely subjective. But these are my favorites anyway. Other traits that I generally enjoy are: competence, style, humor, genuine ruthlessness, and a fundamental weakness or frailty. Villains are often powerful, and they can run the risk of being too perfect in their evilness. They need to ever make mistakes, be caught off guard, or have their choices blow up in their face. If they’re too in control of everything then it starts to become one note. My favorite part of villain arcs tends to be when they begin to unravel, and when they lose themselves over the course of the story. Pettiness can also be a fantastic trait. Like if they shoot themselves in the foot because they had to get back at someone. Or just the constant desire to fuck with the protagonists or have the last laugh, to the detriment of strategy.

Conversely, characters that have no emotional bonds, or regrets, or their own version of morals are also fundamentally uninteresting to me. If they’re just there to kill people, grimace, and ruin everyone’s day for #reasons, without any other defining characteristics... that’s boring. (Yes I like Dracula despite this, but I maintain that Dracula is, by far, the weakest part of Dracula) They need to be fleshed out characters that are actually believable as people. Send me “thoughts on___” to here my opinions on random things!

[greywindys]

I had a fic I was working on for 2Doc week, but it betrayed me and turned angsty when I wanted something softer. So instead, I thought I could share a fic I never published, and I believe the first fic I ever wrote (dated in Google as complete on June 17th, 2016. Holy moly!)

It fits into day 3′s prompt of firsts - the first night the spent together on good terms. The beginning of the bond, I guess. It could also be considered the first head massage (lmao), as I like to think 2D is good with his hands in various scenarios 😉. (I adapted the head massage into scenes in later fics, but this was the first time I worked with it as a concept.)

If there are any “M” or “D” I apologize! When I was starting out, I was too self-conscious to write their entire names (lmao @ me). Oh, how things have changed. Hopefully, I corrected them all, along with most of the typos...

The rating here is T. Essentially, Murdoc encounters 2D late at night when he can’t sleep, and ends up watching a movie with him. They begin to form a tentative bond, head massages are had as much needed sleep. Takes place during P1.

Also happy bday again, Murdoc 😭

For Murdoc, sleeping is a daunting game of chance. First, there are the good nights, when he drinks enough to remain in a complete stupor until daylight. Then, there are the bad nights when his body’s need for genuine slumber catches up with him. On these nights, he dreams. More often than not, they come to him in the form of nightmares ranging from painfully specific to vague and unsettling. Like a flood, all of the emotions and thoughts he had intended to leave behind in Stoke return.

Tonight is one of those nights.  

This one, in particular, is the reason he’s left the grimy safety of his Winne, head still aching. He intends to rummage through the studio mini-fridge for the half-consumed bottle of rum he started that morning. (after all, his anxiety wasn’t going to fix itself). Instead, he's thrilled to discover the fridge has been restocked, and he's about to grab an unopened bottle of rum when he's interrupted by a crash coming from the direction of the lobby.

The noise is coming towards the kitchen now in slow, shuffling steps. Murdoc presumes it could either be one of the wayward demons he summoned the other day, or it could be another one of the building's many intruders looking for a blank wall to vandalize. Nothing he wants to deal with now in his anxious state. Murdoc considers making a run for his Winnebago but decides against it. ‘You’re Murdoc Niccals” he thinks to himself, ‘Bass god and creative genius. You're not ten anymore and you don't get scared.' With that, he braces himself and he turns to face the unknown figure that was now in the doorway.

“Oh...Hi, Murdoc.”

It’s 2D.

“I've got half a mind to lob you through another car window,” he says trying to mask his surprise. “What the hell are you doing walking around with the lights off in the middle of the night?” That must have been the source of the noise. Typical. It’s as if 2D is intentionally searching for a way to get injured.

2D scratches his head. “No need to get so steamed up about it. I, uh, well, I guess I was trying to keep to the ambiance and all that. I didn’t think anyone else would be awake right now.”

“I don’t know what’s so unexpected. I get more done in a night that you would in a year,” Murdoc replies. He takes a sip of one of the bottles of rum he’s assembled on the counter. “So long as there are still songs to write, the siestas can wait.”

“Not sleeping well then?” 2D asks blithely. Murdoc can’t tell if the singer has seen right through him or failed to comprehend a word of what he just said. He finds him very unreadable at times, and in the most infuriating way.

“No. I was working. Being productive. You ought to try it once in a while,” Murdoc grumbles in response. “Anyways. What’s all this about the ‘ambiance’?” As if 2D is that deep. “And why here?”

“That new zombie movie, you know the one I was telling you about? Well, it arrived today,” 2D says with a grin. “And now I’m watching it. It’s a lot scarier when you do it the dark.”

“Well you have a TV, no, THREE TVs in your room,” Murdoc retorts, exasperated. “Just go away and watch it there.”

“Yeah, uh, l thought about that, but the special effects in this one are supposed to be wicked good and the screen in the lobby has a clearer picture than the screens in my room. I would have watched it this afternoon, but Russel said Noodle shouldn’t be watching all the blood and guts, so I waited until now. It’s better watching scary movies late at night anyway, you know?” 2D is looking at Murdoc now, a tinge of hopefulness in his voice. “A couple blokes on this forum I was reading were describing it like a Romero meets Raimi type film, really over the top.”

“Sounds like a real Oscar winner you have there,” the sarcasm in Murdoc’s voice is palpable.

“Actually, it was a straight to video release, but you should check it out,” 2D says. “I’m only about ten minutes in now...if you have...time,” he trails off awkwardly.

The band had faced many inexplicable and absurd situations, but it is 2D’s consistent attempts to be friends that confounded Murdoc the most. His first inclination to tell the singer to fuck off. Yet the thought of the solitary journey back through the car park gives him pause. He isn't sure he can handle being alone right now. He needs an immediate distraction, a mood lifter, and making fun of 2D has the potential to be a two in one solution. At the very least, it was a safer gamble than going back and running the risk of falling asleep again.

Murdoc makes 2D wait for an answer in uncomfortable silence before replying. “Fine,” he says, “This better be entertaining.”

2D brightens at his response. “Just let me grab some snacks and then we can go back.”

“Yeah, yeah. Oh, and this time turn on the damn lights.”

With some newly acquired light and a bag of crackers in hand, 2D leads Murdoc to the lobby. A collection of pillows and blankets litter the floor. All the while, and to Murdoc’s annoyance, he takes the time to tell him every detail of the conception of his setup. He had been in the lobby for the past four hours watching movies. According to 2D, doing so in such an open area was much scarier than in his room or even in the building’s cinema. He was also sorry because they would have to turn the lights off again when the film starts. “Because well, you know, Muds. The ambiance.”

“Just start the bloody movie will you,” Murdoc replies from his spot on the floor. The size of Kong is intimidating at night, and it’s not helping him calm down. He hates how much his dreams still affect him. Physically, he had left all the bad energy behind ages ago, but mentally it follows him like a low-hanging mist, threatening to completely engulf him daily. He couldn't seem to make it go away, but he could control how much he thought about it. Alcohol was typically his mainstay but right now, that job belonged to an unwitting 2D. If he didn’t start the movie soon, Murdoc was going to set his entire movie collection on fire.

“It’s the little triangle that does the trick, right?” 2D asks as he studies the remote. “Never mind. I think I have it. There we go.”

The scene starts with a group of young adults in their twenties hiking through the woods as night falls. Occasionally, the camera switches angles. It shows the group from alternate perspectives such as the bushes or the tops of trees.

“The director wanted to flip the whole slow zombie portrayal on its head,” 2D explains. “There’s already been talk of fast zombies in the indie horror community, but he wants to take that one step further. In an interview, he said that not only were his zombies going to be fast, but they were also going to fly.”

“That’s stupid. And you thought this was worth the twenty or so quid you blew on it?”

“He’s ahead of his time. You’ll see. Look,” 2D says through a mouthful of crackers. He points to the current scene. One of the protagonists had wandered away from his group in search of a good place to set up camp. “See what he does with the camera there? We’re watching the main character from the perspective of a flying zombie. The director wanted to make a movie about an outbreak that emerges in the wilderness, not because of some virus. It's meant to add to the impossibility of the situation. How do we fight against something not man-made? Watching the film through the eyes of the monster emphasizes how alone and insignificant we are in the face of well, everything. Man versus nature, nature versus man.”

Murdoc grabs the bag of crackers from 2D. “Oh please. This is hardly cutting edge. We all know they’ll all be dead in the end because nature is bigger than man. Duh.” He takes a handful for himself and continues watching.

2D ignores him and continues his reflection. “It makes me wonder whether it would be better to be a zombie at the end, rather than survive. Not sure I would want the loneliness that comes with it.”

Murdoc is beginning to realize that 2D is in one of his chatty, philosophical moods. He attempts to tune out the singer’s blathering with another drink from the bottle of rum he brought with him from the kitchen. He came here to watch a ridiculous movie. Instead, he's stuck listening to banal musings about the true nature of humanity from someone with a half-functioning brain.

“Well if there’s ever a zombie apocalypse here, I’ll be sure to let them eat you first if you’re so eager. You’re already halfway there anyway, and certainly no better off than these divs on screen.”

“Thanks, Muds. If I ever get infected, I’ll make sure not to bite you...unless you want me too,” 2D replies.

This time, it’s Murdoc's turn to ignore him. “Anyways, as far as I’m concerned, anyone who’s too pathetic to fight against a zombie apocalypse deserves whatever is coming to them.” He gets a twisted sense of comfort from blaming.

“I dunno...I don’t see any shame in being afraid of a monster bigger than you. That’s what makes these movies so scary. We all have our own monsters that seem impossible to overcome,” 2D says sagely. “It’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just how it is.”

Murdoc scowls. “Does watching movies at this hour always turn you into a half-braindead Socrates? Or Plato? Hippocrates? He's just naming names now. He fidgets.  

On-screen, another character screams as one of the zombies bites her arm.

“Are you alright there, Muds?” Why did 2D have to pick up on everything? “Movie too scary for ya?”

“No!” Murdoc snaps. “It’s not that… It’s just...” Neither 2D nor the rum he grabbed from the fridge earlier had done anything to dull his current bout of nerves. Instead, all the tension has been gathering at the base of his neck. The throbbing in his head from before is even worse. He groans in frustration.

“You just seem a little on edge, that’s all.”

“...It’s my head.”

“Oh, you have a headache,” 2D says, seemingly pleased that it’s an issue well within the breadth of his expertise. “Do you need any help with it? I was talking with my mum about mine just last week; she gave me something good.”  

Murdoc perks up. He could count on one hand the number of scenarios where he would place his trust in 2D. Pain medicine was one of them. A strong painkiller could change everything. “Do you happen to any of those buggers with you now?”

“Sure,” 2D says, smiling as he moves closer to where Murdoc is sitting.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m um, well for this to work I’m actually going to have to touch your head.”

Immediately, Murdoc jerks away. “You what?!”

2D shrinks back in response. “It’s just a head massage, Muds.  My mum’s worried about the number of prescriptions I have so we cut one of the stronger ones out and replaced it with this. We wanted to see if it made a difference. I’ve been going to a massage therapist for the past two weeks or so. It doesn’t quite do the trick but it works well enough, I picked up some technique myself, uh, I think.”

“You can take all that geeky zen rubbish and sod off,” Murdoc mutters.

“Okay, Muds...alright.”

They continue watching the screen as victim after victim gets infected. 2D continues to interject with overlong descriptions about symbolism, zombie lore, and film technique. Murdoc weighs his options. If he’s being honest, he’s at a point where he would accept anything that might make him feel better. But why did it have to be 2D? On the other hand, the singer wouldn’t stop talking. Considering it was just the two of them, and no one else would ever have to find out, Murdoc makes his decision. Allowing 2D to touch his head in this scenario was justified. Interrupting yet another explanation about the folly of man, he asks, “Hey uh...2D? You know that massage you were talking about? Will giving me one make you shut up for more than ten minutes?”

“Oh..uh,” 2D sounds surprised. “Yeah. Yeah, we can give it a try.” Hesitantly, he moves behind Murdoc and begins.

2D’s fingers send tiny sparks along Murdoc’s scalp as he kneads the muscles in his forehead, moving downwards along his hairline. He dwells on how amazing it feels but pushes that thought to the side with haste. He keeps his eyes locked on the screen and the excessive depictions of gore and chaos. It’s an apt representation of turmoil he is currently feeling inside. What he finds so maddening about 2D, even more than his inscrutability and empty-headedness, was his willingness to be kind to Murdoc. Murdoc had spent the past twenty or so years convincing himself that kindness was not meant to be a part of his life. There was something inherent to his existence that repelled it from him. And he had come to accept that until 2D had to come along and mess it all up. It had to be because he was just too stupid, there was no other answer. Murdoc wasn’t sure he would be able to handle any other answer.

As 2D moves his hands to the back of Murdoc’s head, he begins softly humming. He begins following along to the soundtrack of the movie but soon trails off on his own. Evidently, watching the movie without any sort of verbalization was not going to happen. However, the melody he’s come up with is wistful and soothing. Murdoc makes a mental note to ask him about it in the morning to see if it would fit with some lyrics he had drafting. Slowly, and a bit self-consciously, Murdoc feels himself begin to relax.

“How does it feel so far? Is it working?” 2D asks.

Oh, it was working. More than that, Murdoc realizes a significant amount of his tension had abated. The darkness of the lobby no longer looks so menacing, the unpleasant memories that were hovering over him seem to have floated away. He's never been able to settle himself down from a bad night without copious amounts of alcohol. It’s an unfamiliar but pleasant sensation.

“I think the movie is almost over. Didn’t quite live up to the hype but it was still pretty entertaining after all. How about you?” 2D asks, still looking for a response.

Murdoc yawns. “I’ll give this director you were so excited about some credit. He knows his way around a good death scene. I don’t think I’ve ever seen fake blood used that way before.”

“The fake blood actually cause a lot of controversies because some of it was real animal blood. I almost didn’t buy it myself.”

“Ah. A man after my own heart.” 2D’s hands are still kneading the back of his head when Murdoc moves to lie down on his stomach.

“Oh, are you going to sleep now?” 2D asks.

“No. Keep going.” He would have never considered it earlier in the night but, as the singer's fingers continue to run through his hair, Murdoc muses that sleep may not sound so bad after all. Even though it was just 2D, it’s comforting to have him there. 

“So I guess it’s been helping then? My mum will glad to hear,” 2D says. “But you might want to run a comb through your hair a bit more often, it’s all greasy...also a bit tangled in the back.”

“Just...shut up.”

So he does, returning to the reflective melody he had been humming just minutes ago. It’s the singer’s soft croon that sticks in Murdoc's mind as he finally drifts off completely.

-------

When his eyes open, the first thing Murdoc notices is the half-empty bottle of rum he had left by his side. The next thing he notices is that he's still in the lobby, surrounded by blankets. He must have slept there the entire night. 

“Oh, morning, Muds,” comes a familiar voice just to the right of him. “You’re awake.”

Turning quickly in the direction of the voice, Murdoc finds himself face to face with 2D. “What the hell are you still doing here?” M demands, mortified, “Why didn’t you go back to your own room?”

“Well, I was going to do that, but once you laid down, I wanted to lay down too, and you rolled over on my arm and wouldn’t budge. I tried to tell you, but all you did was try and elbow me. You missed though,” 2D mumbles. It sounds like he’s still half asleep. “Then I guess I just nodded off.”

Murdoc feels his embarrassment beginning to morph into anger but decides to ignore it. He's pretty comfortable right where he is. “You’re lucky you’re my lead singer.” 2D was also lucky that he gave good head massages. “Because otherwise, you would be on some really thin ice right now.”

“We’ll be lucky to see any ice at all this winter what with all the warm weather.”

Usually, an obtuse response from 2D would have earned him a string of insults or a swat on the head. Today was not going to be one of those days. Murdoc turns again so that he’s facing away from the singer, pulling the blanket over his head to block out the light. He was going to savor the moment a bit longer. Despite 2D being 2D, it’s rare that he’s ever felt so at peace.

“Hey, Murdoc? Wait,” 2D says, “You never gave me my arm back.”

“Too bad. I’ll check back in a couple hours,” Murdoc grins beneath the blanket. He still couldn’t pass up a chance to inconvenience the singer at every opportunity. It was too much fun.

“Don’t be such a wanker,” 2D says as he attempts to jerk his arm out from underneath the bassist. “I was nice to you!”

He was right. And he was probably nicer than he deserved, given their history. For that reason, Murdoc would roll off his arm soon enough. He still wanted to talk to him about that song he had been humming.

The singer had surprised him last night. Murdoc knew that 2D had an uncanny ability to figure out how to annoy him to maximum effect, but he never would have expected him to also know what to do to put him at ease. Underneath the covers, he ponders what exactly this realization means to him. He isn’t sure, but he knows it means something. It wasn’t going to eliminate the underlying resentment he still clung to, nor was it going to solve his infinite list of issues. But at the very least, he could rest assured knowing that he wasn’t completely alone.

[offtopicoverload]

Can I request a TaliaxMC oneshot where after they get out of the villa and are given back their phones, MC immediately looks up the One Direction fan fictions Talia wrote?

OH MY GOD ANON YOURE A GENIUS

I feel like I need to put disclaimers -

I don’t remember like any details about her writing so I just went with the ask and had some fun

I havent really been seriously involved in fandoms before this year so I have no idea what the culture in ~2011 was like outside of what people have talked about, i was essentially a toddler but not actually

I dont remember shit about one direction either so take that as you will

I know her writing as a 16 yo probably would have been pretty good by that age, but I’m just going to pretend it wasnt lmao

I looked up fanfics for this and holy shit i regret it

Dont publically humiliate people or do idrc you do you fam

Teenage Musings

Talia x MC (Lilac)

~3.5k

“Come on, come on, come on,” Lilac mutters to herself, bouncing on her toes as the producers pass out the finalists’ devices. The finale wrapped filming fifteen minutes ago, and the ex-Islanders were all eager to catch up on socials, nearly storming the production staff to get their devices back. Lilac’s gaze tracks the producer as he moves down the line of gathered ex-Islanders, starting with Erikah and Reese, with Cherry and Jake up next.

She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest and halting her bouncing, switching to tapping her foot impatiently as she waits for them to hurry up. It shouldn’t take this long to just figure out whose phone belongs to who!

“What are you so excited about?” Talia nudges her shoulder to steal her attention, meeting grey eyes with her own ocean blue, smiling down at Lilac fondly. “Is there someone you’d rather be talking to right now?” she teases.

Lilac shakes her head furiously, eyes trained on the producer handing Jen her phone back, a daffodil painted on her pale blue case. As soon as he stops before her and Talia, she nearly attacks him for her phone, starting it up and unlocking it immediately, tapping to her search engine on her home screen. She pulls up Wattpad, of all sites, immediately opening the search bar.

Talia drops her own phone to her side after restarting it, moving to look over Lilac’s shoulder to see what she’s so excited about, but she jumps away, angling the screen from Talia’s field of vision. “What are you hiding?” she asks, squinting her eyes in suspicion.

“Nothing!” Lilac blurts out far too quickly; she’s not letting Talia ruin this. Ever since she found out Talia wrote One Direction fan fiction as a teenager, it’s all she’s been able to think about, to the point that she was investigating potential usernames in the middle of the night. She’d always ask when Talia was too sleepy to be fully aware of the fuel she was giving Lilac, what exactly she was signing up for. ‘1d.dorkie.lover’ seemed to be 2011 Talia’s preference, and it’s her best guess.

She types it in the search bar as fast as she can move her fingers, carefully backing away as Talia continues attempting to catch a glimpse of her phone screen, Lilac quickly travelling along the lawn to avoid her gaze. But she’s not quick enough, Talia catching sight of her screen as Lilac tries to maneuver out of the way, her eyes bugging out of her head as they jump up to Lilac’s.

After an expectant, tense, terrifying pause, she gives chase, lunging for the phone encased in silver sparkles with all her force, “Li!”

But Lilac spins out of the way at the last second, Talia stumbling as Lilac darts into the empty Villa kitchen in search of refuge. She almost immediately finds something entitled ‘LARRY 4 LYFE’ as she rounds the corner of the counters and immediately starts cackling. Talia follows her into the room, unable to slow her momentum and slamming into the countertop while yelling, “Don’t you fucking dare!”

Lilac stands on the opposite side of the island, poised to sprint away again as Talia looks at her with wild eyes. She pounces, running around the kitchen island to try and catch Lilac off guard, but she begins running in the opposite direction as soon as Talia starts moving. They circle each other as Lilac fumbles to read the notes aloud, “‘I’m new but I love Larry!’ in all caps and a million exclamation points,” she narrates, “‘So cute and cuddly and awwwww and ohmygod!’” she laughs between the words, still keeping a careful watch on Talia circling across from her.

All of a sudden, Talia switches directions, fast enough that Lilac stumbles when she tries to switch too, Talia barrelling into her and wrapping Lilac in her arms as she shrieks, sticking her hand in the air to keep her phone from Talia’s reach, tilting her head back to keep reading, “‘Harry likes Louis, but he’s not supposed to! He can’t like him ‘cause they’re in the same band - a really, really good band!’” she shouts, Talia’s hand grabbing at her arm to steal it.

Talia drops her to the floor, using her height advantage to snatch Lilac’s phone from her hand, flicking it off and towering over Lilac with her eyes alight and a frown on her lips, a crease between her brows. Lilac turns in her arms, taking a tiny step back, and smiles sweetly, swaying on her feet with puppy dog eyes and her hands clasped before her. “I hate you so much,” Talia groans.

“Nope,” Lilac beams, singsonging, “You love me.” She sways on her feet, looping her arms around Talia’s neck and dropping her hips against Talia’s, their upper bodies leaning apart and colliding their eyes like the sky, clouds and air blending into a perfect painting.

Talia frowns at her, but coils her arms around her waist all the same, “Nowhere near enough let you read that.”

Lilac pouts, “Pretty please?”

“No.”

“Please?”

Talia meets her gaze seriously, “No way in hell.”

Lilac’s lips twist as she frowns, triumph shining in Talia’s eyes as she watches Lilac, the gears in her mind turning as she works out a solution to her newfound problem, a problem she absolutely must solve. She trails a nail down Talia’s arm suggestively, “You sure?” and cocks her head, an eyebrow raising challengingly.

Blue eyes scrutinise her, scanning her features as her finger trails further down Talia’s arm. The black-painted nail passes the crook of her elbow, the bracelet on her wrist, her sharp knuckles, tight as they clutch Lilac’s phone. She smiles winningly, just as she steals her phone back, quick and sneaky, springing from Talia’s grasp and immediately running.

She races out of the kitchen, scanning the lawn until she makes a beeline for Jake by the bar, standing and chatting with Tim and Rohan, with Talia hot on her tail as she bolts for the boys. “Lilac, I swear to God!” Talia shouts, running as fast as she can in her heels, Lilac quicker in shorter wedges.

She crashes into Jake, slipping behind him to use him as a human shield, hands poised on his sides for maximum efficiency as she meets Talia’s wild eyes, already unlocking her phone again with one hand, raising it to her line of sight to prevent a surprise attack. “Whoa there!” his hands clasp Talia’s shoulders as she nearly rams into him, “What’s going on here?”

“Talia’s trying to kill me!” Lilac accuses, Jake glancing over his shoulder at her in confusion as she attempts to look as innocent as possible, batting her eyelashes for the most effect, her hands falling from his sides to knit together before her.

Talia growls, attempting to slip out of his hold to lunge at Lilac, but his hands only tighten on her shoulders, “Okay, let’s all calm down,” he attempts to placate the girls. He waits until Talia stops squirming, “Why are you trying to kill Lilac?” he holds her at arm's length, looking down at her as she scowls at Lilac behind him.

“I’m not trying to kill her, just trying to break her phone,” she says through gritted teeth, eyes on fire as they burn holes into Lilac, nearly sparking her into flames.

“Destruction of property is still bad, Talia,” he nudges her shoulders to earn her gaze, but she doesn’t give it. He turns, moving his grip to Talia’s upper arm and holding tight, “What’d you do Lilac?” He looks down at her with raised eyebrows, expectantly waiting.

“I was just trying to read,” she shrugs nonchalantly, averting her gaze to dig the toe of her shoe into the concrete below them, phone clutched in her hands behind her back.

Rohan steps up beside Talia, his drink abandoned on the bar as he joins whatever chaos has exploded before him. “What exactly were you trying to read? And why are you trying to stop her, Talia?” he inquires, glancing between them suspiciously.

There’s no response from Talia, her jaw clenched tight and every muscle in her body tense, with her blue eyes not moving from Lilac, who only sticks her bottom lip out in a pout and meets her eyes from under her long lashes. It doesn’t achieve its intended purpose, Talia only continuing to glare at her, somehow harsher.

Tim sidles up to Lilac, throwing his arm over her shoulders to lighten the intense mood that’s settled next to the bar, “Aw, Talia look at this,” he cups Lilac’s chin, squeezing her cheeks between his thumb and fingers, “How bad could it be for you to be mad at this?” Lilac plays it up, pouting to the best of her ability with Tim’s hand on her face.

“Bad,” the dark-haired woman spits through gritted teeth.

Jake turns to Lilac, head on now, “Alright, you oughta fess up. What’re you trying to read and why is it making Talia violent?” He puts his hand on his hip, mimicking the appearance of an exasperated mother with ease.

Lilac sighs in defeat, “It’s Talia’s old fan fiction,” she squirms under the weight of Tim’s arm, ducking her head to avoid Jake’s disappointed expression.

“Oh, well, then read it out loud,” Jake answers calmly, Lilac’s eyes flying up, a huge, excited grin splitting across her face as she starts bouncing on her toes again.

“What?! No!” Talia breaks his hold on her, launching for Lilac to steal her phone again, grey eyes widening at the incoming collision.

“Nope!” Rohan loops his arms around her waist, pulling her back and swinging her to the side as she kicks against him. “Read it, Lilac!” he shouts over his shoulder, working to subdue Talia.

But she continues struggling as Lilac reopens her phone, glancing around for a makeshift stage. She settles on a stool set up at the recent addition to the lawn: the bar. “Tim, a little help?” she glances to the lad, accepting his hand as she climbs up.

Once she’s on the stool, with Tim and Jake standing beside her to make sure she doesn’t fall and break or sprain something, she announces, “Come one, come all, for the reading of ‘LARRY 4 LYFE’ by our one and only Talia!” She smiles down at her girlfriend sweetly, gesturing with an open palm and earning a scowl in response as Rohan keeps her trapped.

A few of the other ex-Islanders gather out of curiosity, Jen looping an arm around Tim and Allegra smiling wickedly at the scene before her. Lucy stands from across the other side of the bar, crossing with a drink in hand, and leans against the counter to watch.

Lilac turns to her phone, “So, let’s see… How about we just start from the beginning?” she grins at the crowd, a few cheers encouraging her as Talia shoots death glares at everyone gathered, still squirming slightly in Rohan’s arms.

“‘Harry likes Louis, but he’s not supposed to!’” Lilac begins, “‘He can’t like him ‘cause they’re in the same band - a really, really good band! But Louis likes him too, he just can’t say it back, ‘cause he’s not supposed to like him back. The other boys all know, but they don’t say anything because they can’t! If they confess there’ - t-h-e-r-e, mind you,” Lilac notes, “‘love then the band’s ruined.’” Lilac says the last word dramatically, to laughter from the assembled crowd.

Talia has resigned to her fate by now, Rohan’s arms around her loosening as her own cross over her chest, watching Lilac with gritted teeth and furious eyes. “‘And if the band’s ruined, that’s bad for the whole world, so they can’t do that. But now everyone’s unhappy and that’s not fair. So Harry has a plan. He’ll tell Louis and then they’ll keep it secret to protect the band.’”

“‘Except Louis wants to tell him first, but he can’t keep a secret. So the band will be over and everyone will be sad. Harry has to say it first but he keeps getting scared. And the other boys are annoyed with them because they won’t just say it but they all know it already so they should just say it. But they can’t! Because the band will fall apart, but they want to and they will,’” the crowd chuckles softly, Rohan’s arms now entirely removed from Talia, and Lilac swears she can see her fighting a smile.

Lilac turns back to the story with invigorated energy, “So Harry wants to tell him but he doesn’t know how. He can’t with other people or the band is. Ruined,” she repeats it dramatically once again, glancing up to find a quirk in Talia’s lips. “‘They have rehearsals every day so he wants to tell him then but he doesn’t know how. Maybe a letter. That’d work pretty good, right? Or with a gift! That’s even better!’ Were you just writing what you were thinking as you went?” Lilac looks to Talia with a smile, her girlfriend shrugging in response with an unbridled, amused smile.

“Okay, anyway,” Lilac chuckles, “‘It’s Thursday now -’ What day was it before?” she laughs, Talia echoing her. “‘It’s Thursday now and Harry made a card with flowers on it and he filled it up with nice things about Louis and he’s kinda scared to give it to him but at least he doesn’t have to see his face so that’s nice and he bought real flowers to leave him but he doesn’t know when to give it he thinks after practice but Louis always leaves before him so that might not work but he’ll still try because he really needs to tell him.’” Lilac takes an exaggerated breath.

Talia laughs loudly from the audience, “Why was that sentence so long?” She steps closer, looking up at Lilac with a grin, still laughing slightly.

“Don’t ask me, you wrote it!” Lilac beams down at her as Talia stops before the stool she’s standing on with crossed arms.

“Keep reading!” Allegra jeers, frowning at the pair in front of the bar.

Talia waves her hand over her shoulder dismissively without even glancing over to the heckler, “Chill out, Leggy, she’ll get there.”

“Okay,” Lilac stifles a laugh, “‘He put flowers by Louis’s bag and the card under the flowers but -’” Lilac laughs, “‘but Louis missed them and Harry got sad then cryde -’ spelled very wrong ‘- in his car and Zayn had to comfort him with a hug. Then Louis bought flowers and put them by Harry’s bag at rehearsal but he missed them too! So now they both failed and are sad and don’t know but everyone knows and they can’t tell anyone and it’s bad.’” Lilac stops to scroll, frowning at what she finds, “The end. That’s it,” she turns to the crowd with a shrug.

“Ugh, Talia, you couldn’t even finish it?” Allegra groans, turning from the bar with a roll of her eyes, scampering back into the crowd without a second glance or a response.

Jake claps his hands together, “Looks like the shows over already, folks,” and starts ushering the gathered crowd away before turning back to the bar and grabbing a drink, following after Cherry as she strides off.

“Aw, it was just getting good,” Tim frowns, genuinely disappointed and stalks off with his head hung, shoulders sagging, and arms folded over his chest.

Jen shakes her head as she watches him go, “I should probably go make sure he’s okay,” and scurries off after him, throwing an apologetic smile over her shoulder as she goes.

“Well, that’s my cue,” Rohan grins, disappearing into the crowd without another word, leaving the pair alone as the others disperse.

Lilac climbs down from the stool, stepping up to Talia and takes her hand, palm up, placing her phone in Talia’s hand, “I’ll be good, I promise.” Talia quirks an eyebrow, expression unbelieving and one half of her mouth raised up in a smirk. “I swear it,” Lilac grins, hand on her heart.

A sigh slips past Talia’s lips, her eyes rolling in her head as she pockets Lilac’s phone, tucking her now free hand in Lilac’s and pulling her along. She tugs her over to the empty side of the pool, dropping onto the coping and pulling off her heels. Her feet slide into the water, her torso falling back as she looks up to the dark sky.

Lilac joins her, legs bent at the knee and feet still dry, but she settles beside Talia all the same. “I was a closeted kid with no representation,” Talia finally says after a quiet spell. Lilac turns to face her, watching the lights of the party play off her profile, every mountain and trench across her face. “The idea of some of my favourite artists that I really looked up to being like me was a huge thing for me when I was younger,” she explains gently.

Lilac watches her lips crash together and break apart incessantly, blue trained on black blanketing them from above. “I know it’s fun to laugh at, and it is funny as hell, but I don’t want it to seem like I was stupid or weird as when I was sixteen. ‘Cause I was, but there was more to it.”

“I’m sorry,” Lilac murmurs, guilt slowly building in her stomach as Talia’s lashes flutter with each blink, her chest rising with each breath, her hair blowing with each gust of wind.

“It is really stupid, I’ll give you that,” a smile graces Talia’s lips as she glances to Lilac, smirking softly.

Lilac beams as blue crashes into grey, heavens clashing against the Earth’s seas, “It’s so stupid but it’s still good! You liked it and put it out there, and that’s amazing, babes,” she encourages, turning on her side to better face the woman beside her.

A laugh shakes Talia’s throat as she turns to meet her, smiling openly and genuinely, “Yeah, I mean, I enjoyed it then and at the very least it’s fun to laugh at now. Too bad I didn’t actually write that much,” she frowns before shrugging her shoulders, plastering on an easygoing grin.

Lilac’s lips lift on one side, “Or, maybe there is more? Just for us? I may have lied about the end of it,” she grins wickedly, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Talia sits up sharply, swinging her legs out of the water and splashing Lilac without care, “Wait, what? How much more was there?!” She grasps Lilac’s forearms, leaning forward intently, her eyes boring into grey abysses.

“Pages and pages,” Lilac smirks, leaning forward to meet her confidently.

Talia pecks her on the lips quickly before pulling out Lilac’s phone, shoving it in her hands and curling her fingers around it, “Well read it, you idiot!”

Lilac starts laughing, and she doesn’t stop until she’s breathless, nearly collapsing as Talia tries to hold her up, scolding her even as she laughs along, eventually stealing Lilac’s phone and unlocking it herself. She forces Lilac upright, giving her the sternest look she can muster, “Read. It.”

Lilac falls forward again, her head dropping into Talia’s lap as her entire body shakes with furious laughter, the sound from the party spilling across the pool to them, filling the open air around them and providing a background as their conversation eventually resumes, once Lilac’s regained her composure.

For the remainder of the night, they ignore the rest of the party, spending it tucked against each other and laughing at the incomprehensible words from teenage Talia printed on the screen until they run out of air, until the party’s collapsing across the pool, until Jake’s looking down at them with his arms crossed, chiding them for staying late and only reinvigorating their cackles. Even as they walk out of the Villa for the last time, their cheeks are flushed and their throats are sore as they giggle amongst one another, Jake’s disappointed glances simply fueling the flames.

They finally settle as they climb into a cab, leaning against each other as their lashes slowly flutter shut, the day’s events finally catching up to them. Talia has to force herself to remain awake, a smile on her lips as she recounts her favourite memories, past and present, from her teenage years to every minute of 23-year-old Talia’s recent journey. All with Lilac slumped on her shoulder, dead asleep as the cab leads them away from the place that has held their entire relationship. And Talia’s okay with that, okay with leaving it behind, just as long as they have more moments like the one that just passed them, laughing at her teenage musings.

[yandere-society]

Watching over you while you sleep? Any member. -A

Under His Microscope

Warnings; Yandere, stalker, extreme lack of boundaries, scent kink??  idk if that’s a thing…

Words; 1.2k

“I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only.  I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary.”  

You were his favorite film. 

He yearned for photographic memory if it meant that he could recall every still frame movement of yours.  To burn it into his cerebrum and engrain it into his very dna. To study your little ticks and habits even long after he shared presence with you.  His own film projector within the depths of his mind’s eye that never failed to fascinate him. 

As if suddenly parched, his pink tongue peeked out to run over his chapped but plush lips.  He shifted his weight to lean against the wall a bit more dependently, the prolonged period of standing ultra still having taken a toll on his legs.  

Though agile and careful, he didn’t quite calculate the sound of his jeans rubbing against the wall and producing a quiet noise.  It wasn’t loud by any means.  But in the fragile silence that was easily overwhelmed by any slight sound above a few octaves, it was heard loud and clear.   

 In a chain of events that caused his heart to drop, you began to shift in our sleep.  Unconsciously reacting to the foreign intrusion of peace in the bed a few feet away from him.  You released a moan through puckered lips and furiously flipped over to bury your head deeper into your pillow. 

 Whilst this was happening, Yoongi held his breath and immediately froze. It wasn’t until his feline-like eyes watched your body melt back into the mattress with ease, that he allowed his screaming lungs to breath once again. 

 Only until he was absolutely positive that you were deep within rem cycle, did Yoongi dare stalk forward to retrieve a closer viewing. 

 The very shapes and angles of your form was something Yoongi had committed to memory.  He knew and worshiped every dip and crevice of your body. Your very being an oasis for his starved senses. Yet the full glory of it was always being kept away from him by flimsy clothing.  A mirage of what he could have, but doesn’t. It was tragic in all honesty, to be given a slice of nirvana but never getting enough to reach minimum satisfaction. Yoongi was left always itching for his next fix.  On his little nightly visits, Yoongi was always pushing and pushing for other ways to get said fix. 

 He had only started watching you sleep about a month ago.  He knew of your address for a couple months now, but only very recently was he ballsy enough to enter your room through a window to study you. Free from any limitation as the fear of you catching onto him was eliminated. 

 It started to get progressively worse. 

 His thirst for you, that is.  It was almost more real than his actual human needs.

One week, he went three days without eating. He didn’t even notice it until he nearly fainted while trying to climb up your window that he had been neglecting his needs.  Due to this incident, Yoongi now has alarms set up on his phone to remind him of when to take care of himself (eating, sleeping, water, showering ect). He couldn’t risk something happening to him before getting to fully be with you like he was meant to. 

 On one of his earliest visits, Yoongi was startled by how enthralled he was by watching you sleep.  It wasn’t as if he found the action in itself to be spectacular.  It was easily deduced that it was because it was you sleeping that he was so magnetized.  And like that, little things snowballed into an odd obsession of observing your rest.  

When you’d utter something in your sleep that made no sense.  (His favorite line being “My waffles are horny~”)

How you’d drool childishly, a stream of it hanging from side of your plump lips. 

How some nights you were more active and violent, kicking and punching an unseen person by thrashing crazily in bed.  

How you never seemed to be able to decipher if you were hot or cold.  One minute, ripping the blankets away. The next, wrapping yourself within their warm hold once again.  

His favorite though?

  When you had nightmares. 

 Although he hated it when his baby was scared, he couldn’t deny the sick glee he got when he heard your adorably pathetic whimpers.  God, it was his favorite symphony.  

The first time you had a nightmare on one of his visits, Yoongi watched like an eager tourist as your face scrunched up in a puppy-like fear.  It was too adorable for Yoongi to not want to see again.

  He slipped his phone out and carefully captured your face, being sure his flash and ringer were off. 

 That photo ended up being the first of many, Yoongi finding a new hobby of trying to catch the best expressions and positions he could.  He had to be careful with who had access to his device, your sleeping faces were both his lock and home screen.

 It wasn’t until Yoongi began to tear his eyes away from you, that he became more aware of his surroundings.  There was perhaps no better grounds for getting to know someone than inspecting their room with great focus.  Yoongi began to investigate your tiny bedroom, noting the little trinkets and signs of living with fond amusement.  Evidence for your hobbies were spread all over, Yoongi was quick to pick up on your love for (subject) and he must say he admired your dedication. 

 But it was in this period of trying to get to know the person behind the goddess that Yoongi came across his newest addictive tendency. 

Your hamper.  

Filled to the brim with used clothes that were waiting for their turn at laundry day.  

He felt like a sicko, but he couldn’t help it. 

 Like some demented vulture, he snatched a shirt from the pile and pressed it to his face.  And breathed in.  

The smell was syrupy like candy but held an underlining of musk that is expected from any mammal.  It was in no way gross though, your natural odor being something that was oddly sugary and delightful to Yoongi.  If he could make a candle out of it he would.

 Now everytime he visited, he was sure to sniff at a shirt or sweater.  He never dared touch your underwear however.  In some odd twist of logic, Yoongi perceived that as being intrusive to your boundaries.  Not keeping in mind that he was technically breaking in, but who cared about pesky details like that?  

Yoongi sighed and pulled out his phone to check the time, huffing with disappointment at the lateness of the hour.  He had to leave.

But before he did that, he elaborately tip-toed to the hamper. 

 He needed his fix.

He reached down and plucked out a tank-top before practically shoving his face into the fabric.  

He inhaled. 

Inhaled.  And inhaled. 

Never exhaling. 

He wished to ingest every molecule of you.  As if he thought that if he absorbed enough, you would permanently become a part of him.  Hungirly lapping at whatever leftover trace he could get of you. Yoongi would breathe in the blessed clothing until his lungs and nostrils would hum and sting with a vengeance for oxygen.  Only then would he pull away.  

After the ill deed was finished with, Yoongi swiftly made his way over to your window.  He looked back at you, to capture a last lick of his drug before he would flee into the inky black night. 

His addiction was never satisfied. 

That’s why he made a mental note to bring restraints next time he visited. 

A man’s patience can only go so far. 

And you had a tendency to get violent in your sleep, anyway.

He couldn’t imagine the hell you would raise when you were conscious.

(Lmao this is kinda bad pls forgive me.  Anyway, pls send in anymore requests and this is chinkbihh, 🔮signing off.)

[yourfaveisyanderematic]

2! 6! 10! 13-14; 24; 44-45; and 49!! Please do whatever amount you are comfortable with - but I'm glad you've decided to receive questions from this numbered post too!

Man you just went absolutely nuts with this one, huh  Nice.

THIS GOT LONG; I’m gonna try to put it under a cut but you know how Tumblr.Hell has been to me, lately.  Maybe it’s in protest about all the horny content I’ve been writing.

Things that motivate you.

I’m always super stoked when I read something really good, or see an interesting scene in a film or show!  Whenever I see or hear an idea that goes “wow, that’s such a fresh and intense element of horror”, I get a really strong urge to work.  Sometimes it’s enough to make me throw all priority out the window as I struggle to capture an idea before it gets away from me, which is why y’all still haven’t seen that god damn Narancia fic.  I’m working on it, I swear.

It goes without saying, but knowing that people enjoyed something I wrote--especially if I’m insecure about it--also makes me really happy, and I get another burst of energy to write something for people.  Comment on fics, guys!  Tell authors you like their stuff!  You’ll get more!

How did writing change you?

I consider things more analytically and find myself trying to work out how I’d describe a particular emotion, or sensation or experience.  It’s also given me a better appreciation for the work of others!  I tend to pick up on things I like or dislike about a work and better articulate why I feel that way, and then dissect the author’s approach and their strengths in conveying things.  It’s like an English class, but far more fun!

How do you do your researches?

I get the idea for a fic, sit down and write it, and then as I start describing how a character’s thrown through a wall go “...wait a moment.  Would drywall realistically be used in the construction of a house at this place and time?”, which turns into an hour-long rabbit hole where I learn all about Midwestern architecture instead of writing.  Other times I’m dissatisfied with my own understanding of things and have to spend some time running several iterations of a medical (sometimes suspicious) question to get accounts from people who experienced the injury, or a doctor’s opinion on what’s likely to happen.  FBI Agent-chan, I promise I’m not actually going to feed someone lye!  I just want to know some things about what would happen,  if I theoretically did.  Theoretically.

Hardest character to write?

*Narancia materializes behind my shoulder like the ghost of a murdered Victorian child*

...good characters.  I should say, it’s incredibly difficult for me to write heart-of-gold ultra goodboys like Okuyasu as the antagonist of a horror fic!  There are characters who are generally good-aligned but are more than willing to get their hands dirty to get a job done, and there are characters I just really have a hard time seeing hurt people, so I avoid them if I can’t think of a good angle.  I can’t--maybe won’t, it’s all the same thing with my Hell Fuck Brain--write something if it doesn’t feel in character, and I avoid doing pure/straight fluff on this blog.

Easiest character to write?

KIRA.  I used to be pretty interested in true crime and serial killers (a fact that should surprise absolutely nobody), and of all JJBA’s villains he’s very...human, in the way that we have plenty of real-life people with his motivations and deeds, if not his exploding housecat.  I really enjoy dissecting his psychology, because he exposes a lot about his worldview in only a few interactions with women.  Anyway, writing him comes very easily to me, because I understand him.

Favorite scene you’ve ever written?

Why, Anon, I don’t know what you mean!  I love all my scenes equally!

*later* ...I don’t care much for [you’ll never know]

I actually had to think about this one for a moment, because I actually don’t think about my scenes too much once I’m done with them.  Always looking to the next thing to write, I guess lmao.  If I had to pick a favorite, though, I’d definitely say it’s the Doppio scene.  I’ve got a soft spot for that one because of the research that went into it (that ultimately ended up meaning VERY little lmao) and the muted horror and agony that I think really defined what I wanted to do with this blog.  I think I tended to veer more towards psychological horror than body horror since then....until this month, anyway.  Lmao.

Do you write linear or do you write future scenes if you feel like it?

It’s very difficult for me to start a fic ‘in the middle’.  If I’ve got a good middle bit, I’ll sit on it and sit on it until I think of a good way to get there, and it’s not until I have the beginning that I actually start.  Not because I want to, that’s just how my brain works lmao.  I tend to keep most of my writing in my head (drafts WHO?  Outlines WHAT?  Don’t know her, bitch!), so the future scenes I have just stay there and keep developing until I’ve got the scope of the fic all set.

Share the synopsis of a story you work on that you haven’t published yet.

"Company Man”

Haha, what if I wrote a Modern/Office AU...just kidding...

unless...?  Trouble-prone Reader-Chan is a new hire at Brando and Associates, where they discover a whole new definition of ‘cutthroat’ as they immediately get enmired in brutal office politics of unbelievable scope.  The salary’s great, but the workload is...shall we say, murder.

Writing advice?

Play Dnd.  Specifically, run DnD...or any tabletop storytelling game, really, there are plenty of systems that focus on storytelling and don’t really care about dice.  I understand that this might require you to be a little more social than the advice you were expecting, but doing so is going to really help you with:

Flexibility.  You must adapt to what your players unexpectedly do--there’s no way to prepare for every outcome--and still make a story that’s coherent and interesting.  You have to learn that your characters--not your plot--is the king of your story, and sometimes they’re going to take things in a direction you didn’t plan on.  ‘Yes, and’ or ‘Yes, but’ is going to become your best friends, and this strategy will be a big help when you feel like you’re in a writing roadblock because your characters won’t do this or that!  

Feedback.  A story has to be engaging first, deep and profound or whatever second.  Players will be able to immediately tell you ‘hey, this is fun’ or ‘hey, this isn’t cool’, and by playing with different people you’ll be able to catch weaknesses in your storytelling style sooner, and also get a better feel for what you just enjoy doing.

Also, write.  Even if it’s bad.  There’s a post on tumblr with this example, but it’s better to make a hundred shitty pots and improve each time than it is to wait and make a really good pot that could have been way better with the time you spent waiting to perfect it.

[jinships-ideas]

BTS Run 37 - The Jin Harem

I’m late by a day but what’s new now?

Let’s begin~

I wonder what Tae is looking at...

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ft.Hanbok Jin (A PRECIOUS CUTIE)

We don’t get to see it on screen but this is Hobi reaching out for Jinnie

Mind you, he was NOT beside Jin

Tae was between them but NTH stands in the way of 2Seok reaching out for a handshake

Ahhh bless this bub who was the mastermind behind Hanbok Jin

He did kind of fish for compliments here (he always does)

But I’ll le tit slide since he really does deserve all the praise

Tae... Your love is overflowing

Your overwhelming bias is really really too obvious

(I mean... it’s totally understandable)

ALSO, Bless Tae for being there to tell Jin all that for all of us out here who thinks the EXACT SAMe THIng and more!

The way Tae fiddles with his fingers (is fiddle even the right word?) and fidgets 

Those are signs of nervousness

Could he be testing the waters on how he could show his love for Jinnie?

But Tae has always been very open and public when singing praises for Jin...

What’s got him slightly nervous? 

🤔

Hobi: Really? in front of my salad?

(finally, Hobi joins in the saladmeme squad!)

Chim sees how Jin LOVES the praises and decides to chime in

(laugh please. I’m kinda proud of that one)

They really love their eldest don’t they?

:’)

(Also...Chim could just be a little shit and is dissing Jin but either way, it’s cute)

JK disapproves of Chim’s kiss-assness

JK: You little kiss-ass punk

Jin found Jk’s questioning ‘huh’ funny and cute

Or he just thinks anything Jk does is cute

Both are very true and accurate

Joonie... your fondness is showing too much

Tone it down a little... There are cameras everywhere

(lmao please don’t. we love fond gazes)

Is Tae doing the whole ‘stretch and put your arms behind them’ shit?

because it sure looks like it

This ain’t a movie theatre Tae!

(does this mean he did this when he went to watch movies with Jin?????)

Jinkook back at it again with the neck kink thing

Damn... put these 2 together and they will ALWAYS reach out for one of their necks...

I’m not complaining at all but just DAMN 

CAMERAS people! DO YOU GUYS NOT CARE?

THANK YOU THOUGH

Hobi: Really? in front of my salad? (pt.2) Tae: I want to unsee this bullshit beside me

I’m so sad to announce this...

Jin X everything and anything is so good

but sadly... Jin x books is not a thing

This bub seems to really dislike reading books

Sorry for all the jinxbooks shippers out there T^T

Jinxmountain(climbing) shippers too... sorry guys

It just ain’t happening...

Taejin mirroring with the tapping of their pretty fingers

When someone is so beautiful, even their fingers look good...

HANDS ON THIGH!

That’s Jin’s thigh

jinkook being all touchy as always

They are literally stuck together

SO DAMN CLOSE

ME LIKES

They are STILL stuck to each other!!!

LOVE IT

Also, Jin looks so cute???

(I’m sorry Joonie for your unglam... you still fab af tho)

They are all matching with the ‘left hand lean’

such cuties

AWWW

Angel Jin donated his cards to Jk so he could continue playing!

He didn’t want the bub to be left out

:’)

That’s so damn sweet

Jinmin hand touch during the game

BLESS THIS GAME

We are going to have quite a few of these hand touch moments thanks to this

Fellas, play this game with a group and invite the person you like

It’s a good game for some initiation of skinship

What’s this? 

Oh it’s nothing much

Just Tae casually sliding closer to Jin~

Namjin Hand touch this time~

Hobi attempts too but is too slow

Better luck next time Hobi~

Tadahhh! Hobi succeeds!

2Seok hand touch this time everybody!

(I feel like a sports commentator...)

Yoongi attempts too but fails to win the round

He DID, however, get to touch Jin’s hands so who’s the real winner here?

Hobi? Because he won the round?

Yoongi? Because he got to touch Jin’s hands?

Us? Because we got a Yoonjin hand touch moment?

(Psst It’s us)

Jinmin once again!

(also, the top of their heads are really adorable for some unknown reason)

He is so impressed with Jin’s skills at the game

Jin must have been that kid with tons of friends and gatherings that played all those games

He was also the Jenga master back then...

But isn’t this game fairly new? Did it exist back when he was a kid?

Does jin still play these games with his friends now?

That’s cute AF

They are so impressed

Too impressed

It’s just a game guys

XD

Jin loving Yoongi’s joke about how he probably goes to university for this game to master it so well

Jk stroking Jin’s back

HE STROKEed HIS BACK 

What is with Jinkook’s touchiness?

OMG I LOve IT

Jin wasn’t even surprised 

Jk taking the opportunity to slightly touch Jin’s hand

I mean... he probably knows he won’t get a chance mid-game (he sucks at the game)

He saw the chance and he took it

Jk tapping Jinnie’s arm~

Jin finds it ridiculously funny how the members are egging him to donate his cards to them all because he is too good at the game

2Seok hand touch once again~

(they weren’t supposed to hit the bell)

He freaking rolled ON Jin

And Jin just LETS HIM

What sort of skinship moments do they have in private if this is how they are in front of cameras????

Like DAMN JINKOOK YOUR TOUCHINESS IS OVERWHELMING

Very slight yoonjin hand touch moment

Jin is really too serious about this game

CHILL

Namjin hand touch~

Ok so I’ve played this game before and watching them play, my mind just goes to one thought...

DOESN’T IT HURT LIKE SHIT????

Like damn they hit so hard they are going to end up with bruises!

Jinmin once again

All this hand touching is good and all but because there’s so much...

WE NEED SMTH MORE INTENSE

SUPER subtle namjin touch

That is so unnecessary but I felt satisfied making it

If I had the skills, I would edit away all the cards and make it seem like they are just holding hands randomly

A different angle~

I wonder how long they played that game for...

How many times everyone got to touch Jin’s hands

Joonie looks ESCTATIC despite losing

I would be too

I’d willingly be the biggest loser ever if I got to touch Jin’s hands

BUT if I got to touch his hands, am I actually losing?

Jin: Praise me you losers. *uh hup* (that’s the sound old man makes) Chim: Hyung Jjang~ Joonie: I touched him! Hnng I TOUCHED HIM Hobi: How does one looks so good and be so good? Tae: I’m so done with that kiss-ass Jk: That’s not going to work bootlicker. Yoongs: No. Just no. You are Dead to me.

Tae trying to butter up Jin

Tae didn’t even participate in the footage that was aired...

He literally just sat and watched and filmed.

That’s really not how you flirt Tae... 

You are still cute though

Visual Mirrors

JK tries to play the pity card but fails

Jin still finds him cute though

So did he really fail?

Oh?

Wait Why did Jk join in the winner’s 2nd round ??

He fcking cheated

He sneaky and sly and the rest let it slide

Chim sending a flying kiss to Jin~

SUCH A SWEET LITTLE BUB

Top 10 anime betrayals

Tae won but Jin chose yoongi...

Damn either Yoongi is a really good roomie (I hope they still are) or Tae did smth wrong to Jin

I lean towards the latter because of smth Tae says later...

The way Tae stares at Jin here is too funny to not include

Tae: How can someone so mean to me still look that fabulous? I’m upset he played me but I still want him...

Chim springing up his aegyo tone and cute little thumbs trying to not be last in Jin’s ranking

CHIM CHIL WITH YOUR AEGYO OMG

He sees his rival (chim) in action 

He springs up like a froggy

And fcking kills everyone with his aegyo explosion

HOW DARE HE 

And the noises he made

How the heck did Jin survive that and not collapse from aegyo fatality???

HOW?

Chim’s pillow attack at Jin for placing him last

His attacks are as soft as his own person 

Joonie: Let’s sit according to our order Hobi: I’m Onto you, you sneaky shit

I wonder if Joonie requested that because he knew he was going to be the only one sitting beside Jinnie~

Jk back at touching Jin’s back again...

So with jinkook its backs and necks huh

That enthusiasm of Joonie regarding the seating order

He really really is eager to sit in order huh?

He is so sweet!

He silently positioned Jin’s pillow for him!

As much as Jin dotes on Jk, Jk takes good care of his eldest too!

Tae feels wronged about placing 6th

Tae: are you being like this to me because of a grudge?

Tae... wtf did you do to Jin?

Did you not know he can be so damn petty?

Jin takes the ‘r’ out of pretty, very fcking well

Why do you think he loves the ‘red’ acrostic poem so much?

(Lmao Ignore me)

Tae throwing the pillow at Jin for placing him last 

Petty jin is still so pretty

These 2 lame bubs matching with the tingly fingers

Jinnie randomly calling Tae a fool

He is a fool, a fool for you~

Jin being thoroughly entertained by Joonie’s ‘randomness’

Chim very clearly shows his disapproval of how the others are picking on Jinnie’s answer and is very blatantly supporting Jin

:))) I love a fair man 

Min Yoongi... If I were to play any games with that man...

Oh gosh... Let’s just say the game doesn’t end and there may be bloodshed

(ง •̀_•́)ง

Be ready to square tf up

Joonie saw the chance

Joonie took the chance

Joonie got to touch that holy thigh

Chim is smitten by Jin’s ‘paper cups are delicious’

So Joonie isn’t the only sneaky one...

Jin too... he must really love touching Joonie’s leg...

Jin’s heart aches for Hobi’s misfortune at landing on a deserted island

The way Taejin looks at each other after Tae’s successful bottle flipping

Jin: WOOOOOOOW AWESOME! Tae: You see that? Look at your man. Now look at me. Oh wait. Both are just me.

Jk...taking touchiness to a whole different level... 

scaling even across Joon...

Meanwhile, Jin looks so done with his members

Joonie joins in~

He even said that even Jin’s ear is handsome

Also... Jk is smiling waaaay too widely

Jk giggling at Jin’s antics

if you look closely, you will notice Yoongs letting out a slight smile too

NAMJOON-AH THAT’S NOT YOUR LEG

THAT’S NOT THE FLOOR!!!

I literally screamed that out in Korean(probably grammatically incorrect) when I saw that...

DAMN NAMJIN

Ok first, we see Jin drinking from a bottle

Next, Joon reaches out for a drink too

His hand clearly goes for the cup but he suddenly switches his mind

He ultimately goes for the bottle that Jin just drank from...

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Look how Jin leans back to make sure Joonie can see the paper clearly!

So considerate!

Jk clearly set out on his mission to make Jin laugh with his weird nonsense sentence

AND HE SUCCEEDED

There was 0 need to touch Jin

NONE AT ALL

But Joonie doesn’t give a shit about need

He just wants to Ok?

Isn’t this whole ‘arm out in front swing before speaking’ a gesture that Jin always does and gets made fun of for being ‘uncle-like’?

Is Joonie slowly being influenced to do the same thing?

Studies have shown that adopting similar habits/gestures of the one you like is a very very common phenomenon

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It’s science

Yoongi and Chim joining in with Jin’s teasing of Tae and wanting to make him lose the chance to buy a property

LET HIM LIVE DAMNIT

Joon’s hands just very naturally goes to Jin’s leg...

They don’t even care about the camera anymore

Fcking NAMJIN IN THE HOUSE

Also... Jin didn’t even have to look to grab Joon’s hand and the thing he is holding...

PLeASE TAKE NOTE OF TAE

He does NOT have the same reactions as the others

Want to know why?

He was just overshadowed by Joon’s 1 try success when he took 2

Go back to the part I mentioned above

He can no longer be smug and proud about his 2 tries success to Jin when Joon did it on 1 try

Poor bub can only laugh bitterly as Jin and the rest marvels at Joon’s impressiveness

Bless all the namjin content we’ve been getting these days

I’m so damn thankful

The dry spell before that was horrible

THIS THOUGH

THANK Fck NAMJIN LIVES ON

Namjin is a gift that keeps on giving 

It happens off screen but you can hear the sound of Jin hitting Joon’s legs as he laughs at Joon’s misfortune

Slight 2Seok touching hands~

Namjin fiddling with their sleevs at the same time

Jin istting like a mermaid though

so damn cute

Are those Namjoon’r crumbs????

LMAO Such a cutie eating while dropping crumbs all over and getting nagged at by his members

I thought this episode had very little Jin harem moments...why tf did it take so long to make this post??? Istg I wasn’t even distracted/doing other things... Gotta speed up my process next time...

Hope you guys enjoyed~

Until Next time!

[araniaexumae]

Do You Want to Fall in Love With Me (and Go to France)? - chapter 1

AN: Hi! This is my first Jily fic so I’m very excited about it. This is going to be a fake dating AU. But between strangers. I hope you like it.

Chapter 2 is now available here

James leaned against the counter of the coffee shop his friend Remus worked at.

“Hey Moony, are you on break soon? I had an idea I wanted to run by you.”

“Well it's not that busy right now so just go ahead. Although if it's to talk about filling Filch's car with apples or some shit, I am very busy and I can't talk right now.”

James put his hand on his heart, taking mock offence. “Apples? Come on Moony, what are we? Amateurs? Obviously we'd pick something stickier. Like those weird honey sweets Peter carries  around when he's sick.”

Remus rolled his eyes as he adjusted the blue apron he was wearing. As if to illustrate his previous point, the doorbell jingled. A blonde woman came in and made her way towards the counter, concentrating on the menu which hung above the barista's head. She seemed slightly confused by all the choices available. While Remus left to offer his help to the customer, James took out his phone. After checking his facebook and twitter notifications, which were mostly Peter yelling at everyone about macarons, he opened Matchmakin, the dating app he usually used. He scrolled through the suggested profiles absentmindedly, lifting his eyes every once in a while to check if Remus was coming back soon. He noticed a blur of red disappearing from his screen as he was still scrolling without looking. He went back up and that's when he came across the picture of one Lily Evans, London, a woman with red hair who was quite possibly the love of his life. Because Wow.

Read on AO3

“You do know that app has a messaging system, right? You cannot contact her by staring at her picture for several minutes.”

“Oh sod of, Moony! Just look at her! How could I not?”

“Prongs I can't actually see the picture if you keep shoving it in my face. I know you wear glasses but some of us can actually see just fine by holding the phone at a normal distance.”

“Oh insulting my eyesight? Weak.” Nevertheless, he stopped fidgeting. “Just look.”

“Yeah she's pretty.”

“Pretty? Are we looking at the same picture because that woman is not merely pretty.” This time, James didn't seem to feign being offended.

“Whatever. Don't you have work to do or something?”

“I'm an elementary school teacher. And it's summer? Who's the smart one now, Remus?” James raised his eyebrows, pasting the smuggest smirk on his face.

“Ugh please go annoy Sirius. I have work.”

Prongsie to Sirius Black ft his fans: Remus is cancelled

Wormtail to Sirius Black ft his fans: why

Wormtail to Sirius Black ft his fans: what did moony do

Prongsie to Sirius Black ft his fans: do NOT say the nickname he doesn't deserve it

Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: what did I miss

Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: did he fill your drink with mustard again

Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: Remus wtf you swore you'd wait until I was there to do it again

Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: you soLeMnlY swOrE

Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: I agree with James, Remus is cancelled

Remus to Sirius Black ft his fans: stop making me text while working

Remus to Sirius Black ft his fans: Also that meme is aweful Sirius let it go

Wormtail to Sirius Black ft his fans: *insert frozen gif*

Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: nEveR

Prongsie to Sirius Black ft his fans: can we get back to me pls?

Prongsie to Sirius Black ft his fans: I found my soulmate and Remus deamed it as unworthy of his attentionTM

Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: Is it a squirrel?

Prongsie to Sirius Black ft his fans: Sirius is cancelled

Prongs to Wormtail: hey so what should I send?

Wormtail to Prongs: ? Elaborate

Prongs to Wormtail: to Lily!!

Wormtail to Prongs: still no idea what you're on about

Prongs to Wormtail: she's this girl on a dating app and she's way too beautiful dqsjihihkf

Wormtail to Prongs: why are you asking me, I thought padfoot was “the expert with the ladies”

Prongs to Wormtail: lmao he said that in middle school. sirius is gay af

Prongs to Wormtail: and i'm ignoring him

Wormtail to Prongs: because of the squirrel thing?

Prongs to Wormtail: please focus. what should I tell Lily

Wormtail to Prongs: well I'd start with hi

Prongs to Wormtail: no that's lame

Prongs to Wormtail: wait I have a great idea

Wormtail to Prongs: no pickup line

Prongs to Wormtail: I was totally not going to say that

Wormtail to Prongs: oh nvm then go ahead

Prongs to Wormtail: okay so maybe I was going to say that

Marlene to your local girl gang: drinks tonight. meet at 8

“To Mary and her angsty poetry!”, Dorcas shouted to make herself be heard despite the noise in the pub. The girls clinked their glasses together before downing the burning liquid as fast as they could. Mary smiled.

“Thanks girls. It really means a lot.”

“Of course we were going to celebrate. It's not everyday our friend's angsty poetry gets published in a magazine!” Marlene said as she gestured for the bartender to come to buy the next round.

“Will you ever stop calling it that?”, the petite girl asked.

“Probably not.” Lily admitted. She squeezed her friend's hand over the table. “We are all really proud of you, Mary.”

Marlene cut in. “Alright enough sentiment guys. Let's drink!”

DO YOU WANT TO TRAVEL TO SOUTHERN FRANCE WITH YOUR NEW BOY/GIRLFRIEND?

We are throwing a contest for the people who have found love with Matchmakin! We are looking for good-looking couples who have met using our app. Participate to maybe win a four-day all-inclusive trip to Nice, France!

To participate, send us a picture of you and your partner with a link to his Matchmakin profile through our contact page (a picture of you together is preferred but separate pictures are accepted). Don't forget to write Matchmakin In Nice as the subject of your message! Five couples will be chosen!

Requirements:

- Participants must be 18 or older

- Participants must reside in the UK

- Participants have to be willing to be filmed several times each day. The footage will be used to promote Matchmakin and will appear on our website as part of a series titled a Match Made in Heaven. Filming will take place in the hotel restaurant, at the pool or the beach, as well as in the city of Nice. To ensure your privacy, participants will never be filmed in their suites and never more than three hours a day. Click here for more info on a Match Made in Heaven.

Mary giggled as she tried to put Marlene's keys in the door for the fourth time. The latter was too occupied by kissing Dorcas' neck to help in any way. Lily just sank to the floor because her legs didn't seem to work anymore. She took her phone out of her purse and opened Matchmakin. She stared determinedly at it until the words stopped being blurry and jumped up once she managed to read the message that had popped up on her screen. She took Mary's hands, who had eventually succeeded in opening the door, and started jumping up and down.

“I don't get it Lils. What are we celebrating now?” Her friend asked as the redhead made her twirl.

“I'm going to France!”

“That's amazing!” Marlene screamed in delight. Dorcas and Marlene had apparently stopped kissing, at least long enough to hear the other girls' conversation. The four women entered the flat.

“Matchmakin is throwing a contest to win a four-day trip to the south of France!!!” Lily explained as she shoved her phone in Mary's hands. The four girls flopped down onto the couch in Marlene and Dorcas' living room.

“Lily wait! It says here that it's only for couples 'who have found love with Matchmakin' ”

“Oh” Lily fell onto the floor. “No France for me I guess… that's seriously so unfair.” Tears welled up in her eyes. Marlene sat up suddenly.

“I have an idea! Mary why don't you make a profile and you guys can pretend to be in love!”, the brunette suggested. Lily high-fived Marlene to congratulate her on this great idea.

“The trip is a week from now. I'm alone at the bakery this month, I can't leave.”, Mary answered. “I'm sorry Lily.”

“Shit, I have work too.” Dorcas said. “Not all of us are eternal students like Miss Lily here.”, she added as she prodded her friend's shoulder with her foot.

“Well it's not my fault if becoming a doctor is so damn long. I wouldn't have done it if I had known.” Lily defended herself.

Mary smiled, albeit a little maniacally. “Yes you would. Because you're smart and nice and I love you.”

“I love you too but I still wanna go to Fraaance!”, she whined, dragging the sound.

“Well just pick someone and ask them if they're free and want to do the contest with you.”

“Dorcas I love you that's such a good idea!”

Lily started crawling on the carpet in search of her phone, before she remembered that she had given it to Mary. She took it back, unlocked it and started to scroll through the profiles.

“I need someone attractive. Just because I want to go to France doesn't mean I'll go with just anyone. Oh what about this guy?” She angled the phone toward her friends, who were still sprawled out on the couch. It seemed Mary had fallen asleep.

Marlene shook her head “Nah, can you imagine kissing that mustache?”

Lily shuddered. “Venom has a mustache. Wait that's not his name. Oh yeah, Ver-non.” She scrolled to the next profile, ignoring Dorcas and Marlene who had started chanting 'venom, venom!'.

“What about her then?”

“She looks too much like Marlene. It's creepy.”

“No she doesn't! I'm much prettier than that!” As Dorcas and Marlene bickered, Lily continued her search.

“He's perfect! It says he's a teacher so he should be on holidays too, right?”

Marlene snorted. “Right cause that's totally why you chose him. Not the fact that he's super hot and has glasses.”

“Glasses?” Dorcas asked.

“Our dear Lily has a thing for glasses.”

Dorcas pondered the idea. “Oh yeah, I totally should have noticed this before.”

Lily took off her shoe and attempted to hit Marlene with it. Unfortunately, she only managed to hit the bottom of the sofa. “I do not. Whatever, gimme the phone back.”

Lily Evans to James Potter: do you want to be in love with me and go to France?

[fightingdiamond]

KCON LA 2017 fanaccount!!

part 2: more Seventeen + the concert, ft. SF9, VIXX, and D&E :)

(disclaimer: none of the videos linked in this post are mine, credit to their respective owners!)

I was on twitter looking at (other people's) pictures from hi-touch and I realized I don't remember touching Seventeen's rings??? Lol it's a weird detail, idk. Maybe the angle of my hand wouldn't have put me in contact with their rings anyway, but I don't remember feeling the rings. Oh well 😂

Also this is super random, but I took a class spring quarter on learning and memory and this hi-touch experience has been just a perfect real-world example of how human memory is so fickle 😂😂😂 I was looking back at the videos I filmed of myself talking to my sister after the hi-touch and there’s some stuff in there (ex. I said that I remembered looking at Seokmin, Mingyu, and Seungkwan’s faces) that for the life of me I cannot recall now 😂😂😂 that’s how the brain works I guess lol

Anyway, some more things from the Seventeen session and then the concert!

-Seungkwan was asked to sing his favorite pop song and he sang an Adele song (When We Were Young I think). I was LIVING! I love that boy's voice and I'm so glad I got to hear it.

-Vernon rapped a bit and it was so hype!! Omg but before he started rapping, he and Seungkwan just kinda looked at each other for a few seconds like they were giving each other support or something?????? Idk but it was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, I love verkwan ❤️❤️❤️

-BUT THEN WONWOO SANG TOO AND I LOST IT oh my god. His voice is so good, I was in heaven. What I wouldn't give for a Wonwoo solo debut 😍😍😍

-they were asked who the mom and dad of the group are and Mingyu was like (of course) Coups hyung and Jeonghan hyung!!! And Coups pulled Jeonghan in for a very cute hug but I'm laughing because I'm pretty sure Jihoon had a look of mild disgust on his face 😂😂😂 the eternal jeongcheol vs jicheol struggle, y'all 😄

-Seokmin got carried away and threw the die at the crowd like it was a concert and I think it may have almost hit a staff or something 😂 he was so flustered! He kept bowing and apologizing, it was so funny 😅

-Jeonghan was asked to do aegyo. You can imagine how that ended 😂 I cringed so hard but I also felt so much love for him in the same instant. It's a unique experience 😂

-MINGYU WAS FORCED TO DO A SEXY DANCE I'M STILL SCREAMING/CRYING/LAUGHING. He's so shy and bashful, oh my god, he's so precious 😍 I can't remember if this was before or after he rolled the die, but his face was so priceless when the members ruthlessly pushed him out to the front. He was like W H A T WHY ME????? I love Kim Mingyu, my overgrown human puppy 😍 also though I'm shook because whenever Mingyu dances, it just gives me flashbacks to when Kai from EXO was my ultimate bias 😂 they're so similar!!! But this isn't the place to talk about Kai haha. Mingyu was adorable! He was doing bodyrolls really shyly, almost resignedly lmao, and every few seconds he'd straighten up and shake his head and beg for mercy with his puppy eyes. Seungkwan stepped up partway through and put his hands on Mingyu's abs and was like HERE, YOU HAVE TO MOVE THIS PART 😂😂😂 I was like, Seungkwan, let your hyung live!!! Lmao. (Altho Seungkwan's actually 97 line because his birthday is early? Anyway.) I also noticed Wonwoo laughing his fkin ass off at Mingyu's misfortune. What a terrible boyfriend (kidding!!!) 😂 (tbh I probably ship gyuhao more now, Minghao already wrecked my bias list anyway, what's another wrecked list)

-before the game, Jihoon was asked to give advice to fans who are thinking about pursuing music/music production. It was really sweet! He basically said, "A lot of people think it's really hard to start making music, but just keep working on it, don't give up, and make lots of songs that you can show the world."

Okayyy now on to the concert! I actually bought two support banners (Seventeen and VIXX) but since I was sitting pretty far back, I'm pretty sure they didn't see me 😂 that's ok, I heard Seungkwan saw the banner that some of the floor people were holding up so at least he saw it! Also I didn't have a light stick (only a small glow stick) because I'm silly - next time, I swear!

They brought Coups, Vernon, and Joshua out as special MCs and I lost it omg. Minghao may have stolen my heart but Coups is still the captain of this frickin' ship! I love him 😌 Mingyu also came out later as an MC (replacing Coups). I was looking at him during one of his MC parts and like wooooow he is TALL. His legs are literally miles long, it's breathtaking.

I think Hansol made the biggest impression on me out of the four of them; he was so beautiful and did a really good job of making his lines sound smooth and not scripted. That boy was born for show business, I swear. (As an aside, Jisoo's English sounds super sarcastic to me????? 😂😂😂😂😂😂 idk maybe I'm just not used to him speaking English unless it's some meme-worthy occasion. Or it's his valley accent?? No idea haha, but he drawls his words a lot and it's really amusing to listen to.) Hansol also frequently went off script to say sweet things (and correct the script's lackluster choice of words on at least one occasion, lmao). Like, there was a part where they wanted to get the audience to kinda do a random play dance, and the script was like "let's stretch first, stretch your arms and legs" and Vernon added "you can't get injured and stuff!!" He was so sweet 😍

Speaking of the script, during SF9's talking portion (they opened the show), I was looking for the teleprompters but didn't see them until later. At first I was like "wow, their English is really good!" but then I was like, wait, is there a teleprompter? Lol. As the show went on I suspected there was a script, because there were subtitles on the big screen at the same time as (sometimes even before) idols were talking and I was like, ok, translation technology ain't THAT good. The point I'm tryna make in the end is that a) that's how I know Hansol was going off script and b) Seventeen - who closed the concert btw, what gods - barely had a script. It was just really free-flowing and genuine and they were interacting with the audience and it was amazing. You could tell they loved being with all the fans and they really commanded the stage and made it super fun. Seventeen are literal gods, when will your faves. (No hard feelings please!! Lmao it's all in good fun!)

Anyway back to the show lol. I love SF9 and they deserve the world omg. They're SUCH good performers; their choreo is amazing and their songs are great!! Their energy on the stage is incredible, even when they were just talking, and everyone should Iove them 😍 they performed Fanfare, Jungle Game(?), and Easy Love. Their English is seriously really good, even considering the teleprompter! It didn't sound like they were just reading off a script at all; idk the word for it in English but the way their sentences flowed was very authentic and I know they must have tried really hard to practice their lines for their American fans. Everyone please stan SF9 😍

I'm really sorry but I'm gonna gloss over Cosmic Girls and Girl's Day - I'm not into either of them but of course they did really well! Girl's Day really owned the stage with I'll Be Yours, Something, and Ring Ma Bell. Some of the girls in Cosmic Girls seemed a bit tired, so props to them for still pulling off a great performance with Happy, I Wish(?), and Secret!

Now, Cosmic Girls' cover of BTS' I Need U is the kinda content I'm here for!!! I don't like Cosmic Girls' usual cutesy concept because it attracts some really creepy fanboys and I feel that it doesn't show off their real talent, so it was really refreshing to see them killing a guy group dance. I think Cheng Xiao did a flip! I'm assuming it was her 😅

SF9 covered Sorry Sorry after them and then it transitioned seamlessly into Super Junior D&E - great planning, y'all 😏 the atmosphere in the audience was so hype!! They were flashing Super Junior's stats on the big screen and it was so easy to forget that I'm not even into Super Junior anymore 😂 I'm still disappointed with the members who have been unapologetically and/or repeatedly problematic (and smh @ Eunhyuk's dreads at the concert, but ya can't spell smh without SM I guess), but I can't help but feel proud of Super Junior for being responsible for kpop's initial surge of international popularity 😊

Fun fact, I went to SMTOWN NYC 2011 and saw Super Junior there. It's really amazing that Donghae and Eunhyuk are still so active in the industry, five and a half years later! Both of them, but especially Donghae, came onto the stage like they owned the goddamn place. I'm blown away by how handsome Donghae still is! He's aged a bit since I last saw him, for sure, but it's a great look on him. He's so handsome, oh my god. The two of them did Growing Pains, I Wanna Dance (Korean version, which I didn't know existed), another song from their album I think, and the classic Oppa Oppa. It was lit 🔥 they were so sweet too, they kept apologizing for "taking so long to see you again" and thanking the fans for waiting 😭 I'm not crying, you're crying!

VIXX was so powerful! I'm glad they didn't perform Dynamite LOL no offense but that's my least favorite of their title songs 😂 they did Shangri-La, Black Out, and Fantasy! Jaehwan was so loud holy heck lol. He's basically Seokmin in five years, I swear. (Speaking of which, I can totally see D&E being soonseok in ten years 😍) I got so excited when Hyuk sang too! I still remember when he was an awkward smol 😌 but Hakyeon will always have my heart ❤️ there was a part in Shangri-La where he was supposed to be serious but couldn't hold back a smile, so he covered his face with his fan 😂 it was the cutest freaking thing 😍

They did a "piñata" game where a random mission popped up on the screen (the choices were aegyo, photo time, sexy dance, random play, and proposal). They saw the proposal choice and started joking about it - I laughed so hard when Hyuk threw himself on his knees and was like N, MARRY ME! And Hakyeon was like SURE! 😂 his English was so freaking sexy 😂

oKaY and now for the moment we've all been waiting for......say the name (SEVENTEEN)! 😍

They made their first appearance with unit performances and I was like OH MY GOD MINGHAO WAS ACTUALLY RIGHT!!!! In the video that they did for KCON previously, they were ~speculating~ about what special performances they would do, and Minghao was all like, well, we do have three units 😏 so proud of my boy for tellin' it like it is!!!

Performance unit came on with Swimming Fool and I screamed so loudly omg. I've been waiting to see this choreo since forever!! And as a newly reborn Minghao bias I was living for every second he appeared on the big screen 😍😍😍😍 I was a little sad though because Hoshi's been showing off this choreo at fansigns for MONTHS and I just know he's been so eager to perform it, but he couldn't make it 😭 It was also compounded during the parts where the other three blatantly left Soonyoung's spot empty. Like, ok, there's a hole in the choreo, I guess there's a hole in my heart too now. This is fine.

But before we go down the rabbit hole of "I miss Soonyoung so much I'm gonna cry" VOCAL UNIT KILLED ME. Habit is literally my favorite vocal unit song, second only to We Gonna Make It Shine but Jesus, there's no way I'm ever gonna hear that live unless I make it to a Seventeen concert (GOD, I hope they still perform that song in later tours). Joshua and Jihoon and Jeonghan all sounded so angelic and pure and then I literally burst into tears when the chorus hit - that's a huge compliment coming from me, I never cry. Seungkwan my baby boo 😍 and then Seokmin too, omg. I love vocal unit 😍

Then vocal unit left and I was like oh no. OH NO. HIP HOP UNIT. I was actually expecting If I but then it was Check In and I was shook! They showed up in the middle of the audience too and I think I literally would've died if I had been near them. I love hip hop unit 😍 also - and I say this like I'm surprised, and I honestly kind of am, and I really shouldn't be but - Wonwoo is so. hot. Holy shit man, like I always thought Mingyu was the (slightly) better-looking out of the two of them but holy shit, Wonwoo's stage presence is unbelievable. I was halfway across the stadium and I could feel his charisma. Believe me, I don't throw around the word "hot" lightly. Wonwoo had me seriously shook. He's so hot. I can't believe middle school Wonwoo blossomed into this gorgeous, brilliant performer. True art right there. He was also really smiley when he wasn't busy being hot and I was living for it omg. I love Wonwoo's smile so much and I hadn't seen enough of it lately 😍😍

As the concert went on I was confused as to whether Seventeen was gonna come back and perform as a whole group or not because everyone else had been doing 3-4 songs and I was like "was that Seventeen's three songs??? Nooooo" but then it turns out they were closing the concert!!!!!!! Seventeen are gods I tell you, literal gods 🙌🏽

Oh my god, the fanchants were so loud and I've never been prouder to be part of a fandom. As we were waiting for Seventeen to come on, they were playing this heartbeat sound over and over and in the silence between heartbeats people started chanting SEVENTEEN! SEVENTEEN! I got chills 😍😍😍😍😍😍 I hope our boys heard us!!!!! (Click here to see it!!!!!!!)

As an aside, somewhere around the unit performances I noticed that a lot of the idols weren't singing live. The rappers had the big handheld mics which are supposedly better for actual live sound, whereas most of the other idols had the small mics taped to their cheeks. I mean, clearly I'm pointing this out because I, as a singer, appreciate it when people sing live, but I understand that this is a concert and the focus is more on the performance overall (i.e. the dancing and energy). I still really enjoyed everyone's performances of course!

HOWEVER! Seventeen was an exception, as usual! Not only did they freakin' kill their whole set and get the audience really hyped, almost all of them had the handheld mics and even those who didn't, I'm pretty sure they also sang live (lookin' at you, Chan and Hansol. I love it when my babies sing 😍). Also, shoutout to performance unit for singing live AND dancing like woooow, step aside vocal unit! 😅 I've said this so many times already but I'll say it again: Seventeen are LITERAL gods. I couldn't be prouder of my boys ❤️

Lol I also remember that everyone was speculating about what songs they were gonna do and there were so many names being thrown out, but between the special unit performances and the group set, I think Seventeen managed to surprise us all! As expected of our boys 😍 They came on with Don't Wanna Cry first, of course, including the cool extended intro that I love! Seokmin got Soonyoung's line and I screamed omg. I miss Soonyoung 😭

After Don't Wanna Cry the lights dimmed but I could see them getting into their next formation. When I recognized the pinwheel formation I LOST IT oh my god. ROCK!!!!!!!!!! Rock is one of my favorite songs and I'm so glad I got to see it live. I bet you they chose to do Rock because of the 360 stage. Seventeen back at it again with how considerate they always are to their fans ❤️ I wanna say Chan got Hoshi's lines? I'm not entirely sure but of course, the performance was amazing! I felt a twinge in my heart at the hole in the choreo where Soonyoung should've been but that's ok 😭

(I feel that it should be noted at this point that Soonyoung is N O W H E R E near the top of my bias list?????? lolololol I love and miss him so much though 😅)

Hearing all of them speak English during their talking portion was so nice. Everyone's English is so good! Mingyu especially had me shook because his English always goes from 0-100 REAL FAST. Seungkwan was so excited!!!!! I love seeing Seungkwan on stage, he's totally in his element there and he's a master at hyping the audience. Also Seokmin was loud af lmao whaddya expect 😂

Speaking of being considerate, Seventeen actually surprised me by greeting both sides of the audience! They did their "say the name! Seventeen!" greeting to my half of the audience first (the diamond/platinum/P1 side), but then they freaking TURNED AROUND and repeated their greeting to the other half of the audience! It doesn't sound like a big deal but no one else even did that! They're so sweet, I love my boys ❤️❤️❤️

They also did the piñata game and got random play, so they were just jamming out to the songs that came on. It was really cute! Mingyu and Minghao were in the corner farthest from me just off in their own little world 😍 I love gyuhao, they're so sweet with each other 😍 Mansae came on in the random play too and it was so amazing watching everyone do the dance with them!!! (Click here to see it!!!!)

Ah also I just remembered! At the very beginning they had all the groups come on stage to wave at the fans and stuff. Seventeen came on and were waving at the fans and then they were supposed to walk to the other side but I guess performance unit missed the memo??? LOL it was so cute! Vocal and hip hop units were starting to walk to the other side and performance unit was looking around all confused before Minghao grabbed Chan and dragged him along as they followed the rest of the group. Later it looked like Minghao was saying something to Jun too, almost like he was nagging him, I was living 😍 I love performance unit! Also during that part Jihoon and Seungcheol were standing next to each other and I for sure saw #interaction 😏 I need more jicheol appreciation in my life ok?

Speaking of my boys getting lost, Vernon, Josh, and Coups did the same thing 😂 after their first MC portion finished the lights went down but I could see them still standing there like uh......where do we go......they were so desperately trying to play it cool 😂😂😂 and then Vernon, I think(?), started walking to one side, before they all realized they were supposed to be going to the opposite side and scurried off 😂 such cuties!

Before their talking portion ended the staff gave them those like, air cannon things stuffed with shirts so they could shoot them at the audience. Mingyu couldn't figure out how to work the thing at first, I cackled so hard (but also me too, Mingyunie, me too). Minghao also had one and he looked way too attractive with it, it was unfair 😳 Afterward when all the shirts were gone and the members reconvened, Seungkwan shouted really urgently "no one got hurt, right???" in Korean and Hansol repeated it in English 😍 I was so touched! It was obviously something that Seungkwan really really felt the need to ask, it sounded like it just burst out of him before he could contain it. He'd been speaking a lot of English up until that point and it was so sweet that he couldn't let himself wait to try to think of the words in English ❤️

As their talking wrapped up they were joking around about their next song, someone (maybe Seokmin? I don't remember) suggested Boom Boom but Vernon was like nahhhh. And Mingyu suggested Adore U and the fans did the point dance along with him! And then Seungkwan, I think(?), was like, "ah, we can't reveal it, but you know, our fans are VERY NICE" and I died 😂😂😂 Jisoo was all fondly exasperated and said, ok, you guys know what our next song is, don't you? 😂😂😂

Seungkwan was hyping the audience like he always does and shouted, "are you ready?!?!?" and the audience screamed! But then Minghao stepped up with this tiny smirk and was like, "one more time, are you ready?!?" I felt so blessed to hear him being so playful in English.

I had a split second of mourning over the fact that I wasn't gonna see Pretty U live but oh my god, Aju Nice was THE BEST choice for closing out the concert. I kind of wanted to cry at how much I loved seeing them perform the song but I was also so excited to see it!!! The Chinaline part had me swooning, I love how Minghao always smirks and gestures to Jun like he's reeling in his catch and I'm like yassss boi get it!!!! I'm so blessed I got to see that interaction with my own eyes. Woozi's part was so pure, I felt cleansed hearing him sing 😌 but I saw both Wonwoo and Seungcheol coming up behind him for their rap part and I was SO HYPED because I always watch the Aju Nice lives from when they were promoting it and Wonwoo wasn't there! I'm sad that Soonyoung wasn't there this time but at least Wonwoo was! 

Oh my god, and the part where Seungcheol switches his mic to his other hand just so he can hold Jihoon's hand during the double-line part at the end??? I saw it with my own eyes 😍

The camera focused on Jun for like a full five seconds at the end and I was like DAMN RIGHT! I hope Jun watches this video later and is satisfied with himself  😌

Afterward they brought out all the groups again to wave bye to the fans 😭 Jihoon showed up on the big screen and he was practically glowing, he was smiling and happy and radiant 😍 remember how I said he looked tired at the hi-touch? I hope he got some energy from performing and that the concert and seeing his fans made this hectic trip worth it!!! Lol I also saw them running around with a camera and I was like, this is going into Going Seventeen a few episodes from now, right? 😂

So yeah, the concert had me hella shook!!! I was so hyped that I totally even forgot that Seventeen hadn't done ANY of the songs I was hoping for LOLOLOL I really wanted them to do Pretty U, Shining Diamond, and Love Letter! But it's ok, they were great anyway 😍 I also feel like I remember some butt-touching happening???? I wanna say it was Mingyu but I don’t remember???? 😂😂😂😂😂😂

I also forgot my earplugs lol I was afraid I was gonna go deaf halfway through but I'm fine now 😂 one of the people I went to LA with decided right after the concert that he was gonna find a ticket to Sunday's concert too because it was just so lit! I wish I could've, I really wanted to see Astro live, but I had work on Monday and I couldn't stay 😭

There will be a part 3 about seeing Astro!!! Please anticipate!

[ramblingshit]

The Woman in Black - 1989 - 3/10

looks like the 1980s but with somewhat older-style outfits; exposition mutherfuckerrrrrr;

very slow, fluffy script; oh got the cut is just forward and back as they speak, now we’re close flipping forward and back when its their turn to speak i’m dying. exposition, telling other characters what the audience has already heard; each of these scenes are far too long with so much fluff, Jesus Christ the cuts just throw us into a completely different place with no transition its so abrupt and the jump cuts are infinitely worse fuck half of these are like .5 seconds long, they’re so basic its crazy. some j cuts all of the sudden and some decent direction all of the sudden on this indoors scene wtf lol. then back to awful cuts, apparently just outside and between scenes.

i can’t even focus on the story because there’s so much nonsense filming, writing and acting and jfc.

the 2012 version is only 5 minutes less but this one reaaaaally feels like its length while the 2012 one does not.

the house is just a grey house in a simple marsh, unassuming, boring to look at, the birds chirp, there’s a half-sunken cemetery nearby, the woman in blacks just standing there in broad daylight with a lil hat on her head, her skin like yellow tinted with red around her eyes kinda lookin like the wicked witch of the west, just staring casually at him they giving her a mid-shot and a close-shot and all, got some crooked shaped eyebrows, i think she’s angry? I’d be angry too with that ugly ass velvet donut on my head; she slowly sorta makes her way a few steps toward him, he sprints off and locks the door then turns on all the electrical lights in the house and seems alright; the rooms are tiny and clean cause she only just died (woman in black’s sister) - it’s really not scary - all white and beige with floral designs, boring frames with dark protraits; reminds me of the rooms at the thornton’s house and other old bedrooms i stayed in as a kid; fuck he’s really turning every single light on. he’s drinking again. we’re half an hour in and he’s messing around with some sort of recorder whistling into it and shit - omfg i thought that was leading up to a scare but no. telling the clues of the mystery in these weird cylinder recordings instead of the 2012 letters? he’s drinking again. WHOA hey we got an establishing shot and its a red-bricked house three stories tall with a big ass entrance way and pointed roofs and lots of windows am i missing something wait what happened to the grey house. there’s no scary music, its all light, there’s no suspense its like well here we are, now we’re here, now the marsh is water, there’s fog and horses and he’s nervous and there’s horses and women and children screaming yikesss ol mate looks mildly nervous, they must have hired him for his scared running and dramatic turns, NOW THE HOUSE HAS GREEN VINES ALL OVER IT. i mean he seems passionate about his role he’s tryin his hardest thats for sure. half of its filmed like a stage show - where’d the dog go. continuity needs to like actually be a thing. why do these candles have hats they’re on beautiful candelabras and now there’s more alcohol. for epople who have a butler and a maid on stand-by their tablecloth looks like a crumpled sheet and the lampshades look like they were picked up from the tip and they’re fkn crooked for godssake. we’re 46 minutes in and theres been maybe 25 minutes of actual story. he ran because he was afraid and that sits wrong with him so he wants to go back - now he’s ‘brave but not brave enough’. stubborn muthafucker. his rational friend is like lol you’re a moron, take my dog as companion he’s called spider for some reason. jesus fuck the cuts they get me everytime they’re scarier than anything else i’ve seen. unsurprised i could see the shadow of the camera. oh okay the grey house is the generator room out back that makes more sense. locked doors, ring of many keys but no key will turn. completely wasted mirror angles that were making me actually kinda anxious waiting to see something in them like damn son wasted opportunity. thrilling to watch this guy go through wads of paper not really looking at anything just pushing them around the great lawyer he is conveniently only finding and looking at plot-relevant things. kid crying mummy mummy while the lady just screams horribly - OMG NOW HES telling the recording exactly what we just heard and saw fuck sakee i love this movie its so dumb spoon feeding everyone - naw spider in his beeeeddd 10/10 best actor. nothing scary has actually happened other than weird lady staring constipatedly at him. he out here gon break his shoulder - sprint sprint sprint PACE PACE PACE – THE DOOR IS OPENNNNN ooohhwuuuhohhh and now he has an axe. he’s a fuck load more of a scardey cat than my main man harry potter and its the nursery - A BALLLLLLLL fell from the SKYYYYY and he doesn’t seem too fazed lmao. spiders just chillin on a chair like yep you’re in trouble. creepy old dolls. a kid just said 'hello’ and laughed, like friendly. 'hello?’  and put a toy in his hand. this is actually interesting. whoops the lights have gone out - PROBS CAUSE HE TURNS THEM ALL ON. nothing even scary happened, the kid said hi and clearly wanted to play then he sprinted away and now is panicking trying to find a torch where is he going its not even that dark back at the generator. cause god forbid- - OMG HE:S LITERALLY GO TTHE WHOLE HOUSE LIT UP mate why do you think it all went out omg im crying he’s freaking out about spider running off oh nah nevermind he’s fine lololol he was freakingggg outttt and then just chills immediately and goes back inside. i love this guy he’s trying so hard. the 70s lampshades are swinging from the roof. would be more eerie if it were actually dark and nah gonna just move over that back to him telling the recording exactly what we just saw. every fucking light. every FUCKING LIGHT. he’s lucky he doesn’t have to pay for electricity. this is the third time we’ve heard this crash and the kid and the lady screaming and he’s going angry about it cause its very noisy and he’s lost his mate’s dog whoops. lol whoops his mate found his own dog half drowned in the marsh and is just chill with it. wait this has all happened in a day?? this fuckin guy. ol mates got him rugged up and getting him outta there cause he collapsed in fright from finding the nursery trashed. that’s it. like yeah its spooky but come on man. is this the climax of the movie??? we an 1hr12min in. think they’re only breifly and vaguely mentioning that to see her means a kid will die and has died - how the fuck are you supposed to make her fearsome if you declaw her and take away that which threatens people: the fact she’s out there causing kids to die. floral bed covers. are they seriously not even going to show the dead kid. they’re just chatting. and again wa– holy fuck these people shes like neeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrhhh with a hogwarts cloak on and short curly hair with that yellow face and crooked brows, and he’s got his arms over his face, eyes shut just lying on his bed screaming - fuckin close ass shots i can see up their noses. now he’s taken ill poor mate. also he’s in a different bed?? and now he’s awake and talking some whack shit. has anyone called his wife yet lol. an awesome shot of just him sleeping. and another one. who’s this lady? oh its his wife. what’s she doing here i guess they did call her ahahaha. everything is so bright and blue and white where is the deeeeeath how is any of this scary its just so much chilling out and chatting and lol bye hope you get better have fun talking men. what. the house burned down? what. ol mate seems suss. HE’S SUSS. ol mate definitely burned that shit to the ground. who knows why he didn’t really seem sold on the whole thing but ya know. now they’re wearing like any old clothes they can find. and there’s a soldier too. and they’re training off into the sunset. that woman is not old enough to be this guy’s mother. what. we have cake time. pointless pointless scenes. ooooooooooooooooooooooo he got the ptsd from the horse clackity clack. no woman with hair that perfect sleeps without it in rolls or covered, not back then lol. where’s the deatttttthhh. oooohweeerrroooooo. whats in the box in the box whats in the box todayyy. acting is always 10/10 with this guy, especially the angst and strong emotions. he really doesn’t care for actually investigating these many papers he’s got in these boxes. um. he was in his office. and then the next scene was him entering his office and hanging up his jacket in his office????? wot. THE PAPERS AREN’T IN THE FIREPLACE MATE THEY’RE OUTSIDE OF IT. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH MY GOD HES MAD HES SETTING THE OFFICE ON FIRE HOLY FUCKKKKKKKKK MATE. dude you are so fired. fireman is like yeah i found this jerry can of parrafin you wouldn’t happen to know anything about that would you. omg omg he’s attacking his boss this is so exciting. i think he’s fired lol. can’t believe he’s not been arrested. what do you tell your wife lmao. how do you get references for another job in this career. her hair is so perfect. she wants to talk, he silences her with a kiss, conversation moves on, he silences her with another kiss - typical. now they’re boating. there’s 3 minutes left. are they gonna drown. omg the jumpcuts. SHES STANDING ON WATER. SHES JESUS. ahahhahahahahAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA DEATH BY TREEEEEEEEEE and i think they did drown omg ahahah my guy, wife kid and baby. that’s fuckin dark. last literally 1 minute of the movie just kill everyone off. what a shit fest i love it.