#lmao this looks so out of place compared to the rest of my page ..

[literallychoking]

˳ׄ ˶ 👙 ⩇ 🏝️ summer g☆ls 🌺 ⋆˚ ⟡ ◞ 🐬

[spockandawe]

You know what I can't get enough of? Speculation about what the fictional novel Proud Immortal Demon Way says about its fictional author. Because it would be completely possible to make a story like this without that connection. I'm not sure I've read any other transmigration story where the author was a character, so just that addition adds a lot of interesting texture to the situation even without getting deep in the author's head, but it's so interesting how deep I can speculate in so many directions if I think about getting in his head.

And oh man, I could talk for AGES about how Shang Qinghua and his iconic protagonist reflect each other, but a lot of people have written about that already! Including in the medium of fic, which is my favorite way to consume that kind of crunch. So let's talk about familial neglect and mistreatment and the author's favorite character.

Honestly, when I look at how iconic this ship is, I'm astonished there aren't more hit novels where the author gets yeeted into their own book and has to navigate platonic or romantic relationships with their own characters. A lot of the parallels between Shang Qinghua and Luo Binghe are about them being alike in ugly and vulnerable ways, ways I don't think either of them likes about themselves, and regarding aspects of their personalities that I don't think they'd be happy discussing period. Like, Binghe very much hates himself, that's right there on the page. And Shang Qinghua is a ridiculous character, he's very funny, but he's also not stupid. He's very aware of who he is and what he is, and makes a decision to behave the ways he does. I'm typing this up because I was scrolling through an old chat looking for something and tripped across a conversation about shang qinghua and fawn trauma response.

He knows he does this thing! He has an easy opening to turbokill Mobei-jun while he's unconscious and decides to go the route of begging for his life and trying to ingratiate himself after Mobei-jun wakes up instead, which is a much trickier process. He says it himself, that Mobei-jun is his ideal, that he embodies everything Shang Qinghua wants to be, that etc. And that's hilarious and all, especially in light of the eventual romance and the clownery it takes to get there, but in classic svsss fashion, it also becomes a lot sadder when you add up all the pieces and see everything Shang Qinghua hates about himself.

In some ways he's an even more avoidant narrator than Shen Qingqiu, he deflects and jokes like a motherfucker, so it really is a matter of assembling all the pieces and seeing where there are gaps. But what really underscored the connection for me was Mobei-jun's reaction to parental neglect. Because that's what pushed Shang Qinghua into being an author in the first place, his parents divorced and remarried and kinda just.... forgot about him.

Mobei-jun's dad doesn't exactly do that, but he is operating without a mom in the picture, and rather than remarrying, he just chooses to ignore the thing where his shitty brother is persistently trying to kill his son. That really sucks! But Mobei-jun never shows the smallest hint of weakness or vulnerability over this, even when it would have really helped to use his words, like 'hi my uncle is coming to kill me and i trust you to protect me.' He's everything cool, aloof, arrogant, proud, all a bunch of adjectives that really do not apply to Shang Qinghua. Mobei-jun honestly looks like a boring character if you just stick to the main story, because he's so self-contained and controlled. Compare and contrast to Shang Qinghua, who accidentally outs himself as a transmigrator like two minutes after showing up and proceeds to be hilarious for the rest of the book.

(Brief aside to say that I don't think Mobei-jun is necessarily a happier or healthier person for all of this, lmao. The conversation that fawn reaction thing came from was talking about freeze (tee hee) versus fawn in response to threats or stressful situations. But that goes along with the svsss theme of people used to engaging with this universe as a fictional property coming to terms with the depth and complexity of other people's emotions and not just seeing them as simplistic not-real characters in a book)

(Additionally, this makes the ship hilarious as a take on 'opposites attract,' but also it gives me actual Emotions that Shang Qinghua's ideal who he wishes he could be, purely incidentally, he is able to value and love Shang Qinghua in a way that Shang Qinghua can't and doesn't seem to totally understand)

And what's very interesting here. Is that Shang Qinghua made these two characters, Luo Binghe and Mobei-jun. His protagonist ultimately reflects a lot of his own vulnerabilities and insecurities (secretly and quietly in pidw, much more.... overtly in svsss), and Mobei-jun corrects for his vulnerabilities and insecurities. He's the person Shang Qinghua wishes he could be, which is basically... the opposite of Shang Qinghua, to an almost comical degree. And he then gives Mobei-jun the VERY BEST plot armor he can devise. It's hard for a male character to exist near a stallion protagonist without getting swept up in rivalries/suspicions/etc and getting killed by the protagonist, but he makes sure that his favorite character is safe from these things. He's protecting the character he wishes he could be from the character whose faults most reflect his own. That is very sweet and weird and sad, and that's very reflective of the svsss experience, I think.

[kindlespark]

omg i was just going through ur babel posts and i was wondering if u had any more details abt the cohortswap au, it looked super interesting! love ur art btw <3

HELLO. I AM SO SO MAD THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER BC I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO ASK FOR MONTHS but i haven't had like a single free hour until now ANYWAY OF COURSE THANK U SM FOR TAKING INTEREST

MAJOR BABEL SPOILERS AHEAD //

cohortswap is basically an au eren @chromathesia came up with where griffin and robin swap places in the story; robin is now the older golden child gone astray, and griffin is now the younger second failure. and the rest of the cohorts get swapped with them!

we have a lore doc that is like over 14 pages long but we are keeping the full thing under wraps for now because eren is writing a massive fic they don't want to spoil too early lmaooo

some foundational deets:

ramy still dies... so sorry. except in this case he and robin planned to run and leave babel for the hermes society together (the um. romantic eloping is implied but unfortunately i don't think either of them get a real chance to act on it), and they plan for victoire to stay behind to keep leaking information out to them. letty finds out and betrays them the same way; calling the cops and barging in with a gun and. yeah. except this time, because it happens outside their dorm rooms, robin manages to escape, and drags ramy's body across half of oxford to bury him in the garden of the old library. he is deeply deeply fucked up from this

professor lovell doesn't die... so sorry. furious about robin's betrayal, he blames it on robin being corrupted by spending too long in his home country, and rips griffin out of china early. but he realises very quickly that griffin isn't fluent in chinese and can barely hold a candle to robin's talent. he never tells griffin about robin but very much takes it all out on griffin, who grows up feeling compared to a ghost his whole childhood. when he first meets robin it all clicks, and he can't help but resent his older brother for the hell he got put through

to save herself, victoire sucks up to letty, tells her that she almost got hooked by hermes and wants out and to put it behind them after everything, and letty is so desperate to believe it that she pulls all her strings to vouch for her and keep her safe. victoire remains at babel and she keeps working covertly with hermes under letty's nose. my comic was about letty and victoire first seeing griffin in babel, and mistaking him for robin. letty doesnt take it well lmao but also in her bullheaded stubbornness starts to treats griffin as her second chance to prevent robin's "mistakes" from happening again lollll

so that's like the general premise! here's some other fun deets:

robin is... severely depressed but is determined to follow through on hermes' work and not give himself an easy out like ramy implied. griffin is so desperately eager for more of hermes when he finds out, but robin keeps him at an arms' length for ages because he's literally been wanting to die for years and is not prepared or willing to have a little brother to look after now. they end up butting heads more often than not and it's a very strained relationship (as griffin and robin's relationship is in canon)

when griffin fails his silver-working test, it's because robin tries to help offhand by giving him a matchpair he came up with. griffin can't get it to work in the exam, but worst of all, chakravarti recognises it as robin's work. he doesn't report griffin for it since he's also a part of hermes, but he tries to give griffin a second chance to come up with his own, and griffin can't, so he fails. up until that point griffin had been trying to hide from robin how little he knew, so the look on robin's face when griffin next sees him is unbearable, like, the mix of pity and anger that griffin didn't tell him, the disappointment that griffin wasn't the connection to robin's culture he wanted, the guilt that robin let lovell rip someone else out of their home, and now griffin knows exactly what letting down an older brother feels like. but it all happens in the half second before robin squashes it all down and gets down to business because there are more important things to worry about and maybe it's good that can't get caught up in griffin's life like this. to quote eren: "i think the worst part to griffin would be that robin just treats it like a setback. like okay, that's one less tool for you to use, you'll have to make up for that deficiency somewhere, moving on, when he wants robin to react as though it's personal to him that griffin doesn't measure up because it should be, because griffin's not good enough for their father (and robin always rolls his eyes when griffin tries to claim lovell and griffin knows why but lies to himself that he doesn't) so he must not be good enough to this tarnished golden child, the prodigal son that lovell tried to recreate. but no, he's just slightly more ineffectual gear within the revolution now, that's a slight hiccup at best and not an entire childhood snatched away from a boy whose clearest memory of canton is the smell of sesame oil in a wok" 

robin warns griffin about recruiting evie very early on, but doesn't tell him about letty or ramy for a long while because the wound is still fresh. griffin still persists, and robin is forced to whisk griffin out of babel after he kills evie. and he's just a mess whispering "you were right you were right im sorry im so sorry" because robin told him this could happen, but he let love and idealism cloud his judgments with evie, and robin has NEVER seen griffin like this, and any angry berating about griffin's stupid misjudgments die on his lips

griffin/anthony is so so very real. anthony is recruited by victoire separately, so griffin isn't even aware for a while and i think anthony actually held off on telling griffin bc of how close he was with sterling LOL. griffin and sterling had something insane going on at first, with sterling trying to be genuinely sympathetic to griffin's plight as an attempt to distinguish himself from his uncle's legacy, before the years drive them apart and griffin becomes aware that everything sterling conceded to him was merely lipservice. anthony and griffin get really close after they realise the other is already apart of hermes and post-evie as well. eren writes sterling as a critique of armchair radicals who see a sliver of violent liberation in practice and easily revert back into believing that the oppressed are savages. evie is a critique of white woman tears <3 i do believe she cries every time someone called her out for saying anything a little racist

yeah um there is way more and we both have comic/fic wips we're working on for the au but i will end this post here because it got so insanely long christ above. thank you so much for the question though i have soooo many thoughts about cohortswap au it's been absolutely taking over my brain

[pillarsalt]

Wikipedia anon here, i feel SO embarrassed for misremembering so much about that article. the concept of the cotton cieling and the reminder of the sheer amount of institutions/resources that have been taken over by tims/tras makes me so upset i didn't want to recheck the article again, even though i should have. (it was some time ago i saw the rb of your comic and did my first check, then saw your comic again and remembered about doing so, to clarify. yes i'm an absolute mess i apologize)

i appreciate you so much for not only getting what i was trying (and failing lmao) to explain but also looking into and linking the talk page because JFC!!! so sharing differing opinions for a topic (with cited sources!!) on wikipedia is a no-no, but it's totally fine when you and your friends retroactively decide pro-topic views make you look bad and so you delete the entire article and rewrite the definition of said topic to be about generically "being left out of spaces :.-(" instead of being honest about it being homophobic, rapist rhetoric (which is the reason you're trying to hide it in the first place) hoooooooly SHIT

if genderism ever blows over (with how long it's stuck around for, and with no one being willing to talk about objective/legal concerns like the WPATH files and Maya Forestater, let alone even have a conversation with a GC person, at this point i'm not hopeful...) everyone who contributed to the widescale abuse and trauma of women (especially lesbians), girls, gay men, gnc people, and tip (medicalized or not) could spend the rest of their lives begging for forgiveness and it wouldn't be anywhere near enough. not that i'm expecting them to do that, of course. it's not even blown over yet and we can see from the cotton ceiling article that they'll absolutely try to just gaslight everyone and pretend it never happened (and if it did, it wasn't that bad, and if it was bad it was your fault for not doing your research, etc etc)

ANYWAY i'd rather end on something positive, so thank you again for sharing your wonderful art on here!! seeing there's a talented, feminist female artist who's into pokemon and mlp but hasn't bought into trans ideology is so healing for me. hope you have a lovely day!!! :) :) :)

I wouldn't be embarrassed, I mean the article's not completely empty but it's obviously been stripped down to next to nothing compared to what it used to contain, and half the cited sources aren't really relevant at all. They briefly mention the MTF porn actor who coined the term but failed to mention the scores of other popular MTFs who were vehement proponents of the rhetoric (Riley J Dennis is the first one that comes to mind). And yeah that dude in the discussion page saying he's going to be watching the page and reverting any edits he doesn't like, isn't that very wikipedia illegal? I don't edit wikipedia but I'm fairly certain that camping on an article to make sure your edits aren't edited is not allowed.

It's definitely been a trend with "progressives" to flip the script on anything they've done and can see was wrong in retrospect, claiming "no actually YOU said this, not me." It's a very good reason to keep things documented, and I have huge respect for people who keep the receipts so we can hold people accountable for the harmful bullshit they've spread around. (Speaking of which, I think now is a good time to remind everyone that Eli Erlick is a rapist, another interesting fact that has been unsuccessfully scrubbed from the internet.)

Thanks for your wonderful words as well :) Have a great day too!

[safyresky]

Dani: reblogs a thing about ask box shenanigans

Me: M Y T I M E H A S C O M E

It's a me. Lurking. About to hop on that art train when I spotted the post. You don't have to do all of them but here are a handful of fanfic titles that I wanna see what your vague ideas about them would be

Happy meal

The footloose sensation

Paranormal piracy

The golden ticket

Four eyes

The shortest day of the year

Anyway, I hope you're doing well my friend and if you aren't I hope it gets better for you! 🤗💕

(cracks knuckles, stretches neck) HERE WE GO

Happy Meal

In which Fino and Fiera's attempt to go buy themselves happy meals goes very, very awry!

They decide to go to a mall to get their micky dee's and get very horribly distracted, and also, they are on fire. This is a normal human mall, btw. The Magical Bureau of Investigation has their work cut OUT for them lmao

The Footloose Sensation

I have never seen Footloose, and after reading the plot page for it I'm like "oh my god I cannot believe this is a real movie based on a real town" so here's THREE IDEAS for you

Footloose the movie craze hits the North Pole. Shenanigans ensue

A hypothetical experiment goes wrong, and now everyone is dancing to the Footloose song and it's really getting in the way of the day's work tbh (or any song. Maybe it's like the SINGING episode of shows, but with DANCING. Jack's like MY TIME HAS COME and single-handedly navigates them all through the final dance number of footloose to break the dancing curse)

A Bad Santa bans dancing. Elfsburg Footloose parody/rip off ensues 😂😂😂

Paranormal Piracy

Well past her days of Piracy, Jacqueline finds herself in WAY over her head when a ship of ghost pirates kidnaps her, hoping the famous Bruexa de la Niege can help them navigate through and onto the perilous, once thought mythical, Endless Winter Island to find the supposed lost treasure that resides there that would surely set them up for the rest of their (after) lives.

Do they know they're dead? I am unsure at this time, but it is somehow FUNNIER if they DON'T. I know for certain though that Jacqueline very much thinks the entire time, holy snowballs, I hope this treasure is real so that when they find it they can move on to the Great Beyond and I can go back to bed.

The Golden Ticket

A teleporting mishap lands teeny-bopper Jacqueline in a secret room of the family home. A secret room that is a treasure trove of magical knowledge. For the briefest of moments, she has her brother back.

Four Eyes

Fino's magic school frenemy gets glasses. Everyone teases the poor orc until he snaps and accidentally makes a magical beast with four eyes that attacks EVERYONE. He and Fino team up to stop the magical beast, and put some bullies in their place!

The Shortest Day of the Year

Winter sleeps through her own birthday 🤦🏻‍♀️.

People keep trying to talk to her. Blaise has to fend off a LOT of people to make sure she gets her rest! winter wakes up, realizes she slept through the entire day, shrugs and goes "Well, I've had thousands of birthdays, and there's plenty more to come, I'm sure." Meanwhile, her hubby looks like he has fought a whole entire second and third war while she slept.

Thanks for sending one in! And for others who are like "tf is this ask box shenanigan?" send me a made up fic title and i'll tell you what i'd write :)

(thoughts and general musings under the cut)

SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! Meant to post yesterday but got distracted by errands, and today we tackled the Fear Ladder I created to get over a new fear of driving on the highway thanks to the dealer comparing my car to a sick PUPPY that needs to be put down--and yes, they said puppy. IT'S BEEN. AN EXPERIENCE, THIS WEEK! DON'T GO TO DEALERSHIPS IF U CAN AVOID IT. FIND URSELF A GOOD MECHANIC THAT WON'T TUG AT UR HEARTSTRINGS WITH PUPPY METAPHORS.

But yes things are going okay and I think I've got the wedding invites almost ready to go which is a RELIEF ANYWAY, YOU DID NOT ASK FOR MY WEEKEND LIFE STORY AND YET. MY MOUTH IS A MOTORING. AS PROMISED, MUSINGS:

I got stuck on the golden ticket one and had to do a think and a half, lmao, but then it popped into my head yesterday before bed and I was like "oh god the angst. the hurt comfort. holy fuck."

I may actually write some of these up??? ANYWAY the musings I promised:

please someone ask me about Fino's orcish rival I am BEGGING i could go ON (I say that now but in the event someone asked I think I'd be like ... uhh. he exists??? but i love him even tho he is a hazy concept)

y'all don't even KNOW my brain has been PLAGUED with thoughts of Frost kiddos and their SOs, specifically the twins

i have no idea if there is a dance number in footloose, but given the titular song i have to believe there is, y'know? and I HAVE to believe Jack knows it and to defeat the dancing curse they gotta reproduce the number PERFECTLY. Jack's like "MY TIME HAS COME"

Fino and Fiera get HELLA DISTRACTED at the mall and it is chaotic as FUCK. Fino walks by an electronics store and is like "I am going to fiddle and click every button". Fiera keeps running into the little like, hallmark esque shops like "is it magic or not" and BOTH kids meet their doom with clothing, oh my god. they didn't even KNOW they liked nice clothes until the moment they lay eyes on the pretty dress shop! Shame ordibeing clothing isn't usually fireproof ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

anyway they 100% get banned, 3 fire trucks and several casualties later

AND to tug at ur heartstrings: I realized that once Jacqueline found Jack's secret library, she had like ALL of his magical knowledge at her disposal and could KEEP TRAINING PAST THE WINTER MASTERY WINTER KNEW?! So now when she says "I learnt from the best!" she truly does mean it bc even tho he wasn't there she STILL learnt from him

and u bet ur ass when they reunite and he picks up that she learnt from his shit Jack's like "cool! ur form is sloppy and that's not being done right" and helps her refine her skills, yo

i am SOFT for these siblings

anyway ty again for the ask andie! also, LOVE that u love the shenanigans tag lmao. i dont even remember how I came up with that one but my GOD shenanigans is such a fun word

[the-yearning-astronaut]

Honest question, I was getting interested in the murderbot diaries from all your posts but why on earth is a paperback with less than 200 pages 20 bucks??? and there are 8! of them as far as i saw

Hello! Just gonna give a heads up to say that this is going to be an unintentionally long post. Oops? (achievement unlocked! You've asked this blogger a question about their current hyperfixation!) There's a tl;dr at the bottom tho if you're not up for reading my rambling response!

So ngl I was also put off by the cost at first -- the audiobooks are also comparatively pricey and the ebook versions are only slightly less expensive. (2 of those 8 you mentioned are actually flash fiction and can be found online! Compulsory is a short prologue to the series and can be found on wired.com while Home is available for $2 on Kindle and is DRM free and takes place after Exit Strategy. Book 8 is called System Collapse and comes out in November.)

But like...after doing a lot of thinking I came to a few conclusions. Authors deserve to make a living, yeah? And they also have little say in how much their books cost -- that's a publisher thing afaik. These books in particular are also only available in hardcover, which have always been more expensive than paperback anyway.

And ultimately you have to decide if you want to support an author and what that support looks like for you. I totally understand the cost is prohibitive for many, especially now. Hell, me too even. But I enjoyed the first audiobook so much that I got the rest of them... and they all filled me with such joy and affection that I HAD to have the physical copies, too.

I personally find them to be 100% worth the money, regardless of their lengths -- heck I'm on my third listen through already and I started them this month lmao. Despite their short length, they tell complete, very vibrant, very human stories. (not sure that's the right word given that Murderbot has problems with being perceived as a person much less a human, but I digress) I've never related as much to a character as I've related to Murderbot -- and I'm being genuine when I say this. I also love how queer, neurodivergent, and anticapitalist the series is and all the dry humor and character growth and just... All of it.

My recommendation would be to find the first book at your local library-- they will most likely have the audio version available on Libby or a similar app service, if not physically. There will likely be a multi week long waiting list. If you enjoy it, find the second one the same way! Then you can decide if $16-$20 a book is worth it.

TL;DR -- imo the Murderbot Diaries series is definitely worth the cost. It's ultimately up to you to decide if you agree with me on that or not, but you can find them for sale as hardcovers, ebooks, and audiobooks -- Target has the first four available as a boxed set for $45 if you don't want to support Amazon, which has them for $40. I highly recommend you find the first one through your local library if you're still on the fence about buying them rn. There will be a long wait but I promise they're worth it!

Hopefully this answers your original question... I just realized it might not fjejdnd

[makeste]

BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids​ for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol

[onbeinganangel]

least read fics ✨

i was tagged by @danpuff-ao3 and @sweet-s0rr0w (see their posts here, and here, respectively, and go read those unloved hidden gems pls and thanks) to share my 5 least read fics on ao3, by either hits or kudos. this game was going around for National Author's Day and, as per usual, i'm so late it's not even fashionable anymore. ooopsies. thank you for the tags, pals!

while i think both hits and kudos are very flawed statistics i decided to go with hits for this one. my least read five, from the very bottom up are:

2020 Microfics [1100 words, 22 drarry microfics, rated E, warnings vary]

A collection of microfics written for Drarry Microfic's 2020 prompts.

a little too good to be true [800 words, ginsy, rated T, no warnings]

For a date that had started with Pansy surreptitiously pulling her phone out and texting Draco, in all caps, “You told me it was someone I didn’t know, you actual ballbag” the blind date had gone surprisingly well. It helped that Pansy accidentally blurted out what Draco had told her as soon as she laid eyes on Ginny, and Ginny laughed and replied with a “Well, Harry said, and I quote ‘She’s really lovely, give her a chance,’ so here I am.”

do it again [750 words, drarry, rated T, no warnings]

Luna,

I’m sorry. I know it’s the second time we’ve had to reschedule this interview. Work has been mental today and Ron got punched in the face. (He’s fine, it was kind of funny.) Draco will be mardy so if you have any of those hibiscus biscuits of yours with the lemon icing that you could spare, send him home with a few. I’ll owe you.

Tell him I’m really sorry and I’ll see you both at the Gala tonight.

H x

overture [115 words, drarry, rated T, no warnings]

In which Harry tells Draco all about his life.

2021 Microfics [5050 words, 95 drarry microfics, rated E, warnings vary]

A collection of microfics written for Drarry Microfic's 2021 prompts.

i accidentally rambled on (who's suprised? not me) about stats and about quality and about hits vs. kudos and all that nonsense so i'm putting the rest of this post under a cut. before that though, i'm going to link you to what is my 6th fic with the least amount of hits, because i am honestly appalled that it ranks 6th, as it's one of my favourite things i have ever written.

the underdog, the honourable mention, the but-mari-that's-not-in-the-rules:

Liturgia Horarum [1500, drarry, rated M, no warnings]

From morning melodies to evening encores, a day in the life through the soundtrack of routine.

and now, for my thoughts:

except for that last minute mention, the actual bottom 5 doesn't really surprise me at all. we have both sets of microfics, 2020's and 2021's and I think we all agree short form (especially extremely short form like micros) does much better on tumblr, plus the fact that they're all under the same work on ao3 despite it not being a cohesive story isn't super helpful. they're mostly there for archival purposes, and mostly for me. i do love having them all in the same place, and it does help me personally when i lose perspective. sometimes i open it just so i can tell myself "look at that, you wrote all those 50 word wee fuckers in numerous genres and styles, and tropes and ideas, all of them about the same two guys" lmao as a reader, i would much prefer to come across microfics and drabbles on tumblr than crammed into one work on ao3, so that makes sense to me.

the other three are T rated, short, and on top of that one of them is femslash too! (truly the holy trifecta of nopes, let's be honest there). so, really. this is unsurprising all around.

it's interesting though, because i'm a curious cat, and i couldn't help compare this to my stats by kudos — do keep in mind i never open my statistics page so looking at it to make this post was really cool! i notice that while i understand why none of these have more hits, they're pieces i quite like, personally. they're nowhere near my favourite things i've ever written, but they're stuff i think it's decent. i think they're alright.

on the other side of that though, are my kudos. when i sort by kudos, both sets of microfics are still on that bottom 5, which again, makes sense. BUT very different fics join those at the bottom of the list. interestingly, the other three fics are quite possibly my least favourite things i've written, the ones i keep on ao3 for the sake of archival but secretly pray no one ever reads! they are a lot higher hit-wise than the ones on the list above (E rated, generally quite porny though the writing/tropes/pairings are rather questionable), but they're at the bottom kudos-wise, which is a fun revelation! maybe it means my own judgement isn't that clouded and that readers and i agree when stuff is a bit... you know, shit. LOL

i find it really fun to look at this kind of thing. i do think the whole point of the game was sharing our less-loved stuff in way of reccommending it/getting it more love, and i ended up just analysing the statistics page. i do enjoy all of these, and none of them are shit, but if you were gonna pick any, for the love of god, read Liturgia Horarum.

can't think of who to tag, but if you haven't done it and you have read all my stupid rambling, you should do it and tag me on it so i can look, thank you <3

[melrosing]

did they actually read the chapter? Jaime is exhibiting sexual attraction to Brienne within the first few pages, there is never going to be this choice between a sex life and an inspiring woman or whatever. it's so demeaning to Cersei as well to reduce her to Jaime's sex life, and deny Brienne sexuality on the other hand because she's not beautiful.

okay, I think what was actually said on this podcast is going to get lost in translation over here if I just kind of vaguely refer to arguments I disagreed with. so to start with, I think anyone who's interested in what the NotACast guys and Dr Shiloh had to say on Jaime & Brienne would be best off listening to it themselves, I really don't want to misrepresent them here.

but I'll share the quote I was referring to, and preface that by saying that PoorQuentyn/Emmett does flat out state earlier in the episode that yeah, Jaime is sexually attracted to Brienne. he refers to the usual quotes, i.e. Jaime eyeing up her calves, picturing her in a dress, admiring her eyes, etc, etc. so far so good lol, obviously we've very much been over all that over in this sphere of fandom, but NotACast is most popular amongst fans from different spheres, including many fans who have not engaged at all with the discourse around JB. so, makes sense to include these foundational readings in the podcast.

anyway, the quote I was referring to (don't look at me transcribing is a weird hobby of mine):

PQ [1:19:56]: It’s interesting to me that you have this… kind of trying to decouple the courtly elements from the sexual elements? Because Jaime and Brienne do have that - more kind of - the chaste elements of the romance, with the actual sexuality kind of displaced onto Cersei. And it does feel like… it does feel like to me on some level that Jaime kind of wishes he could combine these two women. Like that would be the ideal for him*laughs*. As if he could force Brienne and Cersei into like, a machine from The Fly or something, and just make himself… that for him would be kind of the ideal, and I wonder if what George is trying to do is make that romantic ideal impossible for Jaime, by splitting it into two people. And saying, you can either have… your traditionally beautiful woman, you know, who you’ve been obsessed with, and your partner, or you can be with a person who makes you feel like a true knight. But these are antithetical. And I think that’s interesting.

(I'm putting the rest under the cut because this is long.)

this take is actually kind of bizarre when you consider the fact that, as I said, PQ has already acknowledged that there is a sexual element to JB. perhaps he's just riffing off of the convo BBF and and Dr Shiloh have just had where they wonder where to place Cersei in the conversation between JB and Arthuriana. personally I'd say that Cersei doesn't really belong in that conversation, and that's kind of the point: Jaime's wanted her to, but she never has. however, Dr Shiloh argues that Cersei and Brienne parallel the two women in Lancelot's life, where Lancelot is Jaime, Cersei = Guinevere, Brienne = Elaine of Corbenic (I... do not agree lmao but that's a separate matter)

so PQ's following on from this strain, comparing and contrasting the roles of Brienne and Cersei in Jaime's narrative, just feeling around for what sounds right by the looks of it. however! this does not sound right to me. let's unpack!!!!

It’s interesting to me that you have this… kind of trying to decouple the courtly elements from the sexual elements? Because Jaime and Brienne do have that - more kind of - the chaste elements of the romance

so as we've just established, there are sexual elements to JB in Jaime I alone, but they do not stop there: they get more pronounced. in fact by Jaime III they're already pretty explicit: JB have that entire sword fight in the river that is literally screaming look at their physical chemistry (I wrote more on that here) - the whole fight is half written as a sex scene, it's not remotely subtle.

and of course the undertones continue, to the point that they're not even undertones anymore, it's just Jaime getting an erection in the bath as he stares at Brienne's naked body.

but there are courtly elements too, and I won't list all of them off but these are best encapsulated in Jaime IX, where JB are almost meeting again for the first time, as they might in a traditional courtly setting where Jaime is dressed as a dashing knight and Brienne is dressed as a highborn lady, and they kind of awkwardly compliment each other, and instead of the lady bestowing a sword and a quest upon her knight it's the other way round, etc etc you know I love this shit lmao ANYWAY

so it's pretty clear Jaime and Brienne have both bases covered: the courtly and the sexual, and that they do, as the hosts observe in the episode, switch between the roles of the knight and the damsel. the whole point is that they gel perfectly: in falling in love they do not force the other into a contained role, but rather liberate the other from what was a contained role.

MEANWHILE.

...with the actual sexuality kind of displaced onto Cersei.

is the 'actual sexuality' displaced onto Cersei? or is it just that Cersei is the only person Jaime has had sex with so far? as we've established, Jaime and Brienne have a distinct physical chemistry, and we even get a subtle little comparison between this and that which Jaime has with Cersei here:

Her arm was all gooseflesh, clammy and chilled, but she was strong, and gentler than he would have thought. Gentler than Cersei, he thought [JAIME V, ASOS]

Cersei has been his only partner for all of his life, but that does not make her his perfect match in that respect.

moving on.

I wonder if what George is trying to do is make that romantic ideal impossible for Jaime, by splitting it into two people. And saying, you can either have… your traditionally beautiful woman, you know, who you’ve been obsessed with, and your partner, or you can be with a person who makes you feel like a true knight. But these are antithetical.

so PQ says on the one hand Jaime has Cersei, who is his passionate, beautiful, lifelong partner, and on the other there's Brienne, a chaste figure who makes him feel good about himself. and that these two things are antithetical, making the romantic ideal impossible for Jaime.

so. to start with, nowhere does ASOIAF state that Brienne can't be a passionate partner. she hasn't had the chance to be one yet, no, but this is, er, a story, things change and evolve, and we literally have evidence of passion between Jaime and Brienne on the page already.

second, Brienne is not beautiful, that's right! but that doesn't mean she falls short of a romantic ideal for Jaime??? I know I always bring up JB x Beauty and the Beast, but come on, they are literally based on a fairytale that says that love isn't about beauty, it's about the heart. and in any case, Jaime has been shown experiencing sexual attraction to women like Hildy and Pia (post-injury), who are not what society calls beautiful. he admires Cersei's beauty, sure, but we don't see anywhere that it is of the utmost importance to Jaime that his partner is beautiful. it's important to Cersei - but not Jaime.

third, PQ points out that Cersei's this lifelong obsession for Jaime, and surely that counts for something in balancing her against Brienne. well... no?? Jaime's obsession with Cersei has been based on the lies he tells himself about her, and the lies she's told him. Jaime has desperately wanted Cersei to be this benevolent figure that completes him, that he can love and protect as a true knight. she isn't, and he realises that now, and has unambiguously left her. of course he still thinks about her, it was a lifelong relationship, it was that thing he always thought of when he wanted comfort and to feel less alone, but that doesn't mean that he can't appreciate the lie in that, and the futility of his obsession.

so Brienne is not antithetical to what Cersei never was in the first place. in fact, Brienne is very much the kind of woman Jaime has wanted in Cersei (honest, loyal, loving), but simultaneously, yes, a person who inspires him, and who is just as capable of playing the role Jaime once assigned to himself. Jaime always believed his duty was to protect and comfort Cersei. with Brienne, he finds he can also be protected himself, and comforted himself. that's that whole damsel/knight switcheroo that NotACast were so taken with. that's the romantic ideal being, actually, perfectly possible for Jaime and Brienne both, it just... doesn't look as they thought it did.

ANYWAY. that's my thoughts on that. and for the record I do not think the podcast is bad or that the hosts are stupid and the last thing I want to do here is encourage any negativity towards them. I just thought that take was daft and wanted to take it apart with my bare hands lmao

[flying-nightwing]

Throne of Blood (3/3)

Hello there! Last part of Throne of Blood, I hope you appreciated this little serie! I loved t write it tbh, it was a nice change from the usual DC stuff I write. If you want a bonus chapter, let me know! I thought about doing either a prequel for when they invaded the castle, or some headcanons if y’all have some.

Ps: I realised I kinda made Bruce to be the bad guy here, oops. Sorry about that, but to my defence, family drama was something I built toward from the beginning 😅 Full disclosure, I have nothing against Bruce and Damian pls don’t come at me

Masterlist in bio / pinned!

Pairing: King!Jason x reader x Roy

Word count: 4414

Warnings: same as the last parts (cautious nsfw) + family drama lmao

"--and the might of the casc… cascade could never compare to the ce… cerul… cerulean of her eyes. She was his hope, the only thing he cherished, none of his posse...ssions could ever be worth as much as a minute with her"

You paused to breathe as you reached a paragraph break. You could feel Roy's relaxed stare on you, a small smile ever present on his lips. His hand was absentmindedly rubbing your knees that were lying over his thigh, while his other arm was snugly wrapped around your waist. The quiet crackling of the fireplace indicated the need to add a log, but neither of you wanted to move from your nestled position. Eventually one would have to, though, before the room grew cold. 

"I like it when you read to me" Roy hummed, almost like he hadn't meant to say it out loud. But if you knew one thing about him, it's that he carried very little shame when it came to love. He would never intend to hide his thoughts when they came, and you admired that about him. Still, you couldn't help but look down in embarrassment. 

Him and Jason had taught you to read some months after you joined them, when he passed you a map to find a town's name and you had to tell him you couldn't. Ever since, you worked often on your reading skills, leafing through whatever seemed interesting from Jason's library. But you weren't a natural, far from it. 

"I can't even pronounce all the words correctly" You mumbled. "It must be hard to follow sometimes"

He gently pushed your chin up so he could look into your eyes again. It didn't matter for one second for him that you didn't have the diction of an erudit or the flow of a poet. All he wanted was to hear your voice and watch your eyebrows knit in concentration when you butted on a difficult word. He liked the little things so much better than the finished product.

"I think it sounds perfect"

The corner of your lips rose slightly at his praise as your heart skipped a few beats. Even after all the time you spent together, he always managed to find the right word to make you love him even more, if it was possible. His constant and unconditional support was your crutch, the thing you could rely on no matter what happened, the safe space in which you would never feel judged for what you couldn't do. 

"You know" He began again when he noticed you had trouble believing what he said. You wanted to believe him, but deep inside he knew it was harder for you, and he understood all too well the feeling of not being enough. "I couldn't read either before I was taken in by my warden"

You tilted your head to the side, frowning slightly. You had never known. 

"Took me years to get average at it. And you should have seen my writing-- Hell, you should see it now, it's catastrophic" 

You couldn't help but giggle along as he laughed. It was contagious.

"It's the same with Jason--No wait, the brat actually taught himself how to read somehow" He blinked slowly, like he was still surprised by it. You weren't really, you knew Jason was even smarter than you were aware of. Than anyone was aware of. "But his writing was terrible until he got a proper tutor, that I know of for a fact"

"But his writing is so…" You trailed off, trying to find the right word. "Exquisite"

"Now who's pulling out the big words, uh?"

"Shut up" You laughed, lightly hitting his chest with the book. “Don’t mock me”

“I’m not!” He argued, giving you wide, innocent eyes. He looked too cute for his own sake. “I swear I’m not. You’re just adorable when you get all flustered”

“We better start gearing up now” You evaded the subject, clearing your throat. “Jason will be expecting us--”

“Just one more chapter” He interrupted softly, caressing your waist. “Please?”

You held his stare for a moment before you were convinced, and you nodded, a sheepish smile on your face. You opened the book to the page you had marked and found the paragraph you had stopped to. 

“As he was sitting by the window, he couldn’t help but think about the ar-arrival of the spring, only a few weeks away if nature de...cided to be kind--”

“My Lord, my Lady” 

You paused your reading and looked up. This time, it was Roy who looked the most annoyed of the two of you. 

“It’s time”

You sighed and nodded, putting down the book on the table. Roy was clearly disappointed, but he helped you nevertheless get back on your feet, being careful not to pull on your bandages too much. You were healing well for your condition, you could now walk around and sit down without much help. Still, Roy and Jason didn’t like the idea of leaving you on your own for too long, just in case someone tried to come for you. You definitely couldn’t wield your axes just yet, so it made you an easy target even if you weren’t bed ridden anymore. 

You walked out of the chamber beside Roy, him following your slower pace without complaint. You reached the other end of the hallways and entered another room with chests and racks, where your equipment was kept. You began putting on your suit, the one you had made when you rode beside the Red Hood, well before he was king. It was all black with a red pointed arch on the chest that imitated Jason’s sigil, which was outlined with a single silver following your collarbone. It rose up the back of your neck and was reinforced to protect your vitals. 

“Could you help me pull it up, please?”

Roy nodded as he finished to lace his arm braces, stepping right behind you. He picked the stiff fabric and gently tugged it over your shoulder, brushing his fingers against your skin along the way. He was even more careful with your injured shoulder, making sure it wasn’t bent in any way to fit through the suit. He and Jason had advised against you wearing it, but you were stubborn and refused to show weakness in front of the enemy. Besides, it looked great on you. Roy then buttoned up the suit on your back and up your neck before giving you a kiss on the temple. 

“Close your eyes, I’ve got a little something for you” He whispered in your eyes, and despite your initial confusion, you did as you were told and shut your eyes. You felt something being passed over your head and gently rest on your shoulders, then straps being adjusted on your sides. “You can open the now”

You did as he said and looked down as he gently directed you to the mirror on your left. He had placed a beautiful piece of equipment that paired well with the colors of your suit, lightweight and practical, that covered your shoulders front and back. You usually went without, but it was appropriate considering another arrow in the back would do you no good right now. And since you most probably wouldn’t be using your axes anyway, you could do without your full shoulder movements range. 

“Where did you get this?” You asked as you trailed your finger on the skillfully crafted metal. There was no doubt it had been made for you by how it fit with both your body and suit. It must have cost a fortune.

“The blacksmith in town, the one living near the gates of the castle” He began. “His son was killed by the guild of thieves that lived uptown, the ones we wiped off right after the undertaking. He wanted to thank us somehow, and when he learned about what happened to you, he made this as a present”

“It’s… Very beautiful” You breathed out. “I’ll have to thank him later on. This must have taken so much time to make”

“But you deserve it” He said as he placed a light kiss on your jaw. “You deserve the best. And the best suits you”

“Thank you” You nodded, taking his hand. The leather of his archery glove was rough against your skin, but it had also become a comfort born from the endless days you spent training and hunting on the road. It was tied to some of your best memories with him, and it still amazed you how a simple touch could bring it all back vividly like that. “Come on, Jason must be waiting for us”

You went down to the court, where Jason was talking with the commander and some generals. Upon hearing your footsteps, he perked up and turned around, taking you specifically in. He smiled and nodded, heading for the three black steeds, groomed and in full armor, in the hands of the stable hands. You followed him and grabbed the reins of your mount, carefully climbing on its back and sitting in the saddle.

“Are we ready?” Jason asked.

“Of course” Roy replied first, then both of their eyes set on you.

“Let’s do this” You nodded firmly.

With a kick of your heels, you took off the court and onto the bridge, in the direction of the Wayne Kingdom.

---

“Soooooo…” Roy trailed off. “Do you think he stood us up or..?”

You looked away from the horizon and to Roy, who was slouched over the pommel of the saddle while his horse was trying to dig for grass through the snow. “Maybe he’s trying to ambush us”

“I don’t think so” Jason mumbled, his eyes still set northwest. His back was straight with a hand resting on his hips, the other holding the reins tight. His horse was attentive, chewing on its bit in anticipation. “It wouldn’t be like him, not while we’re on this hill anyway” 

You nodded as your fingers flexed around the reins, a bit bored and definitely not impressed by the opposite party being late to their own meeting. There was barely any wind over the field, and the thick cover of the cloud didn’t let the sun rays through. Still, smoke came out of the horses’ nostrils with every breath they let out. 

“There they come”

You glanced forward again at Jason’s warning, seeing a small party of riders coming your way. They didn’t seem to be in a hurry, walking rather than trying to reach you at a trot. The closer they came, the better you could point out characteristics for each rider. The one at the front was wearing all black with a cape that fell over the pale gray horse he was riding. It was almost white, but the dark skin around its eyes and nose proved differently. The second rider was on a smaller chestnut horse, and was a child. You blinked a few times, but his youthful features were obvious. The two other riders some paces behind were an escort, soldiers with steel armors and banners from their kingdom. 

After a long waiting for them to actually be at hearing range, they finally stopped a few meters ahead and assessed your party. Jason was visibly tense, but his blue eyes gave nothing out on how he was feeling about seeing his father in front of him after all this time. They stared at each other for long minutes before the piercing glance of Bruce Wayne set on you. You clenched your jaw, not backing down, until his eyes finally left you. 

“Your… Friend seems to have healed quite well” The older king spoke first.

“Don’t act like you give a fuck” Jason sneered. “You were the one who made this coward attack on her happen in the first place”

“Watch your mouth, runt” The child on the side almost barked. “You’re speaking to a legitimate King, unlike you”

“And who the fuck might this goblin be?” Roy said before he could stop himself. While the child looked appalled, Roy was still very relaxed on his horse. He might have been the only one to be, even if you did want to laugh at the outburst.

“I am the blood son, the true heir to the throne” He replied with all his might, except it didn’t quite have the desired effect, since he was on a pony, for one. “You peasant will respect me, or--”

“Damian, please” Bruce interrupted firmly. “Now is not the time to settle this”

“But--”

“Why am I not surprised that you fathered a brat?” Jason leaned forward, feeling taunting for a moment. “Which one of your concubines had enough bad luck to get pregnant? Selina? Or was it Richard’s lover, whatever was her name? Or maybe Talia, oh memorable Talia--”

“Don’t speak of my mother that way” Damian pulled his sword out. 

“So Talia it is” He smirked. 

“We are here to negotiate peace, not fuel a war” Bruce replied sternly. “I can do much worse than an arrow in the shoulder of a loved one, you know it. So be careful what you’re advancing about my family”

“Then keep your son on a tighter leash” Jason said, his face returning to a serious expression. “I still haven’t made my mind about keeping peace, don’t give me reasons to leave this meeting before we can discuss it”

“I should be telling you this” He squinted his eyes slightly. “You have thrown over a stable ally of this kingdom and stole the crown, then taken prisoner the King of Blüdhaven without giving a follow up on his state. You are in no place to threaten a war, yet here you are”

Jason waited a few seconds, not letting his stare waver. Then, he sighed and whistled. The plains were silent, until the faint sound of hooves cantering on the crisp snow grew closer to your position. Soon enough, you were passed on your left by another rider, slowly walking around you and toward Bruce’s party. Dick had a neutral expression as he turned around, stopping at Bruce’s side.

“Here” Jason waved his hand dismissively. “Your golden son, unharmed albeit slightly vexed”

“You should still pay for a crime like this” Bruce said.

“It’s fine” Dick tried to appease the tensions. “I do not wish to further this conflict, I have done enough already as it is”

“Why didn’t you fight back, Richard?” Damian asked in a judging and accusatory tone. “This is a disgrace to our family, and a display of weakness--”

“I was trying to avoid a much worse escalation of this conflict by owning a diplomatic mistake I made in the first place” He bit back. “What would you even know of politics, spoiled child?”

Roy laughed, and the sound only seemed to anger Damian more. You were in the middle of a family conflict, and unlike him, you didn’t know this side of the family well. You didn’t really know how to act, so you observed what would go down rather than actively participate. 

“I find the ginger man’s insolence unwelcomed in this matter” Damian said, trying to wash down the humiliation his brother had just handed to him. “He’s got nothing to do with it, and he’s got no title. He shouldn’t even be speaking”

“He speaks because I say he can” Jason defended Roy in a heartbeat, his tone strong and authoritative. “As far as I’m concerned, I’ve got a crown and you don’t, which puts me above you in status and therefore my wishes outweigh yours”

Your eyebrow rose slowly as your eyes met Roy’s, who had an equally stunned expression. Jason had never used his status against anyone like that. It even seemed to take Damian by surprise, which was, with what you had learned about him in the last minutes, a hard feat to accomplish. If you were honest with yourself, while you loved Jason as a humble king, you were curious about the other side of him, even if he would show it in private.

“Your crown was stolen” Bruce reassessed. “The Kingdoms surrounding yours have decided this gesture would not stand. I wished a peaceful surrender from you, but it doesn’t seem like I will convince you to do so. You have three days to abdicate, until the next full moon, or your kingdom will be taken back by force”

“You think this is wise?” You finally spoke up on instinct, and all eyes turned to you, looking at you with surprise. You weren’t about to let those threats stand, especially not from Bruce. “Ever since King Jason came into power, he wiped out a guild that stole from families and murdered good people. Our kingdom is the safest for miles around, so much we get waves of new settlers even in winter. He lowered taxes on the population so much that most towns in the country have become flourishing trade posts in the span of a year, and instead taxed the nobility and cut on useless balls and dinners. Nobody starved last winter, and nobody is starving this one. Do you think the word didn’t get out to the other countries around? People are starting to want this for themselves too, and you think putting them through a devastating war will make things better? It will only make them resent you, those who didn’t already. We have people in every castle you know of who are ready to turn against you the second they get wind of aggression--”

“Bullshit” Damian called.

“Are you ready to take the risk?” You raised an eyebrow at him, before returning your glance to Bruce, who betrayed no emotion. “You will lose this war if you start it. You should consider your people before you send them to slaughter”

Silence fell over the hill for a moment.

“... What she said” Roy grinned, breaking the silence.

Bruce looked at Jason for a reaction, or most likely, some sort of opposition to what you had just said. Instead, he only readjusted his reins and straightened his back. “You heard right,” He said, not wavering. “You have three days, until the next moon, to annulate the warrants and back down. Think about your people, Bruce. Make the right decision”

With that mocking reprise of his father’s previous words, he turned his horse around and left him dumbfounded. With one last glance to their party, you followed Jason, trotting, then cantering away and back into your borders. Once you passed your soldiers’ road control, you slowed down to a walk.

“Huh” Roy exhaled as he leaned forward to glance at you over Jason’s horse between you two. “I didn’t know we had spies in other kingdoms”

“Now that I think about it,” Jason blinked a few times, his brows slightly furrowed. “Neither did I”

You shrugged. “Maybe we have them. That would be neat” 

You saw confusion, then astonishment flash in their eyes like their reactions were synchronized.

“Wait, did you just--”

“Did you fucking lie to Bruce in his face?” Roy cut off, almost yelling. Then, he laughed. “In his face?”

“By the time he realizes, no, if he even realizes I bluffed, we’ll have a solid plan to ward him off, no matter what he does” You explained. “We win”

“How did you manage to convince him?” Jason had an innocent incomprehension written all over his features, like a child in front of a magic trick. He was adorable. “You had me convinced”

“Oh, boys” You grinned. “You think women survive this long in the world without becoming excellent liars? How do you think I managed to infiltrate the staff for a week before we invaded the castle?”

“By… Um” Roy trailed off. “Cleaning well?”

You laughed. “People had questions, my dear. I had to build myself a credible life to feed them, so I wasn’t thrown out of the castle instantly. Lying to the enemy is a skill I learned to cultivate a long time ago”

“You’re awesome, you know that?” He sighed, a loopy smile on his face. Jason still had a starstruck expression on his face, his eyes sparkling with admiration.

“Wouldn’t hurt to hear it again, I must admit” You teased back, jutting your chin up. “But there is one thing that would be better… Last one in the bedroom owes the first one a shoulder massage”

You didn’t wait for them to register your words before kicking your horse to a gallop, no doubt closely followed by them.

---

The dancing light of the candles of the chandelier left a soft glow on your naked skin, moving around and spreading warmth as it crawled up and down your body. You were sitting upright as hands moved gently on your shoulders, careful to avoid the sensitive area of your still healing wound. In your laps was Jason’s head, your hands threading slowly in his black hair as his eyes were shut close. He wasn’t sleeping, his breathing made his chest rise too fast for him to be. But he was relaxed, his neck muscles were untensed on your legs and there were no harsh lines on his face. 

You looked behind you when Roy’s hand stopped massaging, pulling your hair to the side and kissing the back of your neck. 

“You really gotta get a faster horse” Your lips curved upwards. “You’re always losing these races”

“I think my horse’s speed is just fine” He whispered back. “Besides, you are both right where I want you to be”

Jason smirked. “Losing is always suddenly part of someone’s plan when they never win”

“Laugh all you want” He sighed, dramatically laying down on his side beside you, then leaning forward close to Jason’s ear. “We all know I end up winning anyway when you beg my name like a prayer, My King”

You could feel the shiver travel up his spine on your laps, as well as the sudden shift in the tension in his muscles. You played along and let your hand slightly pull his hair, which surprised a moan out of him. His eyes opened wide, the blue of his irises being quickly consummated by the black of his pupils. Then, his glance set on Roy, something hard to read beside the promising spark in it.

“Are you sure you’re ready for a, what, fourth go at it today?” He raised an eyebrow as his hand brushed his cheek. “I didn’t think you jaw recovered from earlier”

You laughed airily as Roy grinned mischievously. “Maybe you can take that voice when you put that brat child in its place” You suggested as you trailed up your hand up Jason’s bare chest. “I’m sure he would be happy to get back on his knees if you did”

Roy groaned at the suggestion, already imagining the whole scene behind his fluttering eyelids. However, Jason didn’t quite follow up on his reaction. “Don’t tempt me with…” He trailed off, then noticed the mood change. “Hey, is there something wrong?”

Jason blinked, then shook his head and gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. “I’m fine” He muttered, leaning forward to place a soft kiss on Roy’s lips. 

“No, something’s bothering you” He insisted gently. “What is it, Jay?”

Jason sighed, shaking his head. “It’s nothing” He replied, looking up to the ceiling. “Don’t worry about it”

“It’s clearly not nothing” You said as your hands threaded softly in his hair. “What’s eating at you?”

A silence followed your words. It was like Jason was searching for the right words, like he wanted to say it so bad but something else was holding him back. You were patient, however, and you didn’t mind that he took his time to tell you. You knew he would talk when he’s ready.

“It’s what Bruce said” Roy beat him to it, speaking barely over a whisper. “Isn’t it?”

You looked in between the two men, noticing how Jason did not deny Roy’s words. It was like they were having a silent conversation for a few seconds, before Roy put a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

“It’s how he didn’t see him as part of his family anymore” Roy spoke up, addressing you this time. “How Bruce didn’t seem to have any regret about replacing him in any way possible”

“Even after all this time” Jason gulped. “He won’t even stop reminding me he didn't care”

“Oh, my love” You reached for his hand and grabbed it, intertwining your fingers with his and giving it a squeeze. “He doesn’t deserve you beating yourself up about him like that. You’re worth so much more than anything he could even give you”

“She’s right,” Roy nodded. “We’re your family now, not him. Not him ever again. And I promise you we’ll never betray you that way, we’ll never set you aside. You’re our lover, you’re our King, you’re the most important person for us, and we would do anything for you”

You could see the crystal gleam of tears pooling in his eyes before he blinked them away, resisting the urge to break down. Jason had not often known true affection until he met Roy, then you. He felt like he didn’t deserve either of you, and sometimes he wondered why exactly you decided everyday to stay by his side. But you did stay, you did support him and guided him when he needed it. He wouldn’t have been anywhere near where he was right now without you. 

“You’re both so good to me” He whispered, adoration clear in his voice as he glanced at you, then Roy. “What would I do without you?”

“You’d be wonderful either way” You smiled as you slipped beside him, careful not to pull on your bandages. Soon enough, Roy joined him on the other side, snuggling into him. “You’d miss on major cuddling, however”

His chest rose in a silent chuckle as he pulled you and Roy just a little bit closer. “Give yourselves more credit, I’d crash and burn without you both by my side”

“Let’s not bother with what ifs, yeah?” Roy replied, his lips curved upward as he kissed his shoulder. “It only matters that you’re here with us today, and that you are a damn good King. The rest doesn’t matter”

“The rest doesn’t matter” Jason repeated in a mutter, nodding lightly. “Only you. Only us” 

[charminglyantiquated]

step-by-step comic page

@weremouse​ and I were talking yesterday about drawing comics, and the shortcuts and tricks that you end up figuring out to speed up the ordeal. I ended up breaking down one of my short-comic pages into the steps of my current process, and having done that I figured I’d post it here in case anyone else finds it useful!

everything under the cut, since this is pretty image heavy:

1. Panels! I freehand them these days, which saves a lot of time, and I like how it looks a bit softer and more dynamic, especially compared to the perfectly geometrical rectangles I used to do.

2. New layer for major lines, and a new layer for speech bubbles (I seem to have deleted the rough draft layer I was working on, but it was definitely there - no details, but I sketch out the panel layout/major shapes/speech bubbles beforehand and draw over that).

3. New layer for text, new layer for details like hair, tattoos, etc, and new layer for line shading (which is probably the single biggest step backwards I’ve taken in terms of saving time lmao)

4. And that’s the hard work! The rest is pretty easy. I color most of my short comics in greyscale and then add color later. Wouldn’t work nearly as nicely for full-color, but it’s a good quick way to color limited palette comics. First step is to pick a shade of grey for the overall background:

5. New layer, and block color the small panels. Use greys that contrast the background shade, either much lighter or much darker. (note - I didn’t color the car windows, since I wanted to shade what was ‘outside’ differently than the car interior. I also colored the road on this layer instead of the previous one, which was a mistake I just didn’t care enough to fix whoops).

6. New layer, color the people and any any other objects you want to shade/color separately from the background. Having the big panel background, small panel background, and people on three different layers makes it really easy to color them later.

7. Time to add color! I’ll break down the individual steps I used, but the tl:dr is that I make a couple different clipping mask layers attached to a layer of flat grey, and play around with color/opacity/layer settings with a big soft brush until I like how it looks. I use a lot of soft light and overlay! Anything on a clipping mask layer only affects the layer it’s clipped to, so you don’t have to worry about precision.

Once you’re happy with it, then do the same for the other two grey layers. Each grey layer ends up looking more or less like this:

I’ll use the people layer as the example - first clipping mask layer is set to soft light, at a low opacity, and I used purple with a soft brush to add some shadows.

Next is another low-opacity soft light layer - yellow and purple, with a watercolor brush, to add a bit of texture. It’s very very faint on the people layer (you can barely see it, honestly) but recreating it for the background levels I turned up the opacity a bit more.

And the last clipping layer is set to high-opacity overlay, painting on pink with another big soft brush. I like how sharper shadows and highlights look but they take up a lot of time so I almost never do them in comics. And I like the kind of glowy look that less-exact soft round brushes add.

8. And that’s the people layer done! Because I wanted the same colors throughout, I did the same set of clipping masks for each of the other two grey layers. but this is also a really quick way to color something like my comic cursed - if you want the people to be one color and the background another, or the small panels to be a different color then the big panels, just add a clipping mask set to color/hue/overlay/whatever else works over the grey layer in question and fill it with the color you want.

anyway! here’s the small panels with the same treatment, and then the background with the same treatment.

9. That’s highlights, shadows, and some basic color all set! The last thing is adding some additional soft light/overlay/etc layers on top of everything, filling them with different colors, and seeing what works. I want to get rid of the last of the grey, and unify the page’s color scheme a little more. 

full disclosure: I have absolutely no idea what most of the layer settings actually DO. it’s a mystery. I’ll cycle through different settings with different colors and I am surprised pretty much every time by what happens.

What I ended up with for this comic was a layer of mid-opacity light grey, set to screen, which lightened the page a little:

Then above that a mid-opacity layer set to color burn, this one filled a pale blue. Now the remaining greys are more bluish, which is closer to what I wanted:

But still not quite the right atmosphere. So above that there’s a low-opacity vivid light layer, filled with the same purple I used for shadows. Now the color’s pretty much perfect.

But it looks a little dark, and the pink has been toned down by the cool-colored layers. So one final layer, on top of everything: soft light, full opacity, using a big soft round brush to add the same pink in places I want to be brighter.

And that’s the final page! The linework still takes a while, but I’ve pared coloring down to pretty much just clipping masks, haphazard soft brush application of colors, and dicking around with layer settings. I hope this is useful!

[ownedbybooks]

2022 autumn wrap up

Disclaimer: I live in the Southern Hemisphere.

Mansfield Park, by Jane Austen ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Thankfully I did watch previously the 1999 movie adaptation of the book and then I’ve read the intro BEFORE actually reading the story, so I could understand the plot and the themes very well and I’m so thankful for that!!! I don’t think I would’ve liked it as much as I did if I haven’t read the introduction before diving into the story.

City of Fallen Angels, by Cassandra Clare ⭐️⭐️⭐️

I cannot stress more that SIMON OWNS THIS SEQUEL and I look forward to see more of his development.

Endgame: The Calling, by James Frey ⭐️⭐️⭐️

It was a reread. But funnily enough I liked more about this story in this second time of reading it lmao. And i was impressed of how much I remembered about the plot.

Lore Olympus (Season 1), by Rachel ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I am VERY biased towards this webtoon. VERY. I just didn’t give it 5 stars because I found the begin (that i had to reread it) very slow paced compared to the rest.

Brave New World, by Aldous Huxley ⭐️⭐️

The only thing I knew about this book was that is a classic sci-fi. I thought it was going to be similar to 1984, but it was so over the place… I saw and understood the critics the author was making and I can agree with him, but I found the plot so… eh :(

História do Cerco de Lisboa, by José Saramago⭐️⭐️⭐️

My first Saramago read! I was quite afraid to read his books because he’s not an easy read, specially because of his style. It took me around 50 pages to understand what was going on and get used to Saramago’s writing, but in the end I liked it very much! I can’t wait to read another of his books!

I Swear I Won't Bother You Again! #3, by Reina Soratani ⭐️⭐️

I… I couldn’t remember much of the story and characters. Giving a one or two years break to see if it more chapters were going to be released did help, but now I have to wait a couple tears more to read the next volume 🙃 guess who won’t remember stuff again???

Jocelyn's Story, by Cassandra Clare ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Nothing new here, but it was nice to see Clary’s mom point of view about her past and relationships

Perdida, by Carina Rissi ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

A GREAT READING DONE AT THE RIGHT TIME!!! Loooved the Romance between Ian and Sofia and I can’t wait to see more of them!!! Specially Ian, he’s such a gentleman! Also: this book made me cry a lot!

Endgame: The Complete Training Diaries, by James Frey ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Oooh yeah this one was also nice! To see how the characters came to be the players of Endgame before it started! I really liked the mix of culture as well!

Os Textos que Desisti de Enviar, by Vanessa Pérola ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Even tho I didn’t liked it very much, because this book made me reflect A LOT about myself, I had to give it a 5 stars because of the same reason. It made me get out of my comfort zone about relationships and what I think about them. Thanks God I talked to my psychologist the next day 😂

Ian Clarke - Conversa com Gomes na Adega, by Carina Rissi ⭐️⭐️⭐️

A super quick read, but so so lovely! Have I already told you guys I’m in love with Ian???

Arsène Lupin, gentleman-cambrioleur, by Maurice Leblanc ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Decided to reread it after knowing about the netflix adaptation. It was fun, nice and Arsène Lupin is so charismatic!! No wonder he’s the main character, he carries every plot on his back! I want to get more immersed on his persona, now lmao

The Fork, The Witch and The Worm, by Christopher Paolini ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

ARGH THE NOSTALGIA I FELT READING THIS BOOK!!! I was missing Eragon, Murtagh, Saphira and many more SO MUCH!! I even did my first live reading with it!

[hms-no-fun]

so about the scene near the end of 8.3.1, when j and vriska are like "we dont share a head anymore, we're real!". essentially it has me worried for some implications that could come across as really not great depending on how it plays out. i don't think it will be because you've done an excellent job so far i am just a bit nervous and wanted to let you know that it could be concerning if handled poorly and to ask about how you do intend to handle it if you are at liberty to say.

there's a couple things i want to say in response to this, and they will probably come across as harsh, so first of all i just want it stated for the record that i 100% understand your concern here. this is a sensitive, personal subject that would be very easy to fuck up, and i know a lot of folks are really invested in this story and don't want to see it turn into another thing they resent for getting it wrong in some way. i've watched this happen countless times to art that i was really invested in. i've felt that disappointment and i want nothing more than to avoid that in the case of godfeels.

(this is a long post so i'm gonna put a break here, some spoilers follow for godfeels 3 part 1 chapter 8 act 3 [1/2] lmao)

i'll agree that J and vriska saying "we're real" upon having physical bodies is maybe weirdly mixed messaging compared against J's personal realization of "i'm real." this is something i stared at on the page for a while, because i knew the implications, but i couldn't really come up with a better way to phrase it that didn't involve a much lengthier conversation that felt totally out of place given the circumstances. to my mind, it makes perfect sense that there would be two separate colloquial uses of the term "real" here. when J says "i'm real," it's a statement of personal agency and an affirmation that they do exist as an independent entity. when J and vriska on the beach say "we're real," they're speaking to the fact that they have physical bodies and are separate from one another in a way they've never been before. having them say, instead, "we have bodies" maybe would be clearer for the reader, but it just didn't feel in character to me. maybe it could have been "we're real! i mean, real real!" but i think if anything that would just make your fears even worse. i elected to keep the text as it was published because i felt the context of the rest of the chapter resolved these questions in a much more satisfying way than a simple conversation ever could.

this is, to an extent, why i originally wanted to release chapters 8.3.1 and 8.3.2 within a couple days of each other, because despite its length 8.3.1 is still functionally the middle of J and vriska's arcs. there are a lot of unresolved questions on the table right now and i recognize it's probably a lot harder to appreciate what 8.3.1 is doing when there is this big cliffhanger that we've been stuck on for nearly 60,000 words. it's just unfortunately true that real-life circumstances made it impossible for me to get the last part of this chapter finished in the timeframe i wanted to, and i knew it would be difficult for folks to be left with SO MUCH uncertainty after all the dread i've been invoking for a solid three weeks now. so i can only imagine how all of that could make this uneasy feeling about J and vriska being physically "real" that much worse. and i have sympathy for that! i really do.

but also, i can't say i super appreciate being questioned on my intentions like this. because essentially what you're asking me is "are you planning on doing good representation?" and i just don't believe that there's a way for me to answer this question that will satisfy you. the work will speak for itself when it's done. but i have said multiple times in multiple places that i am looking at this as a plural story, and i've reiterated multiple times in multiple places that i've very explicitly considered these concerns long before this chapter was released. i don't know how many different ways i can vaguely assuage your fears before it feels like what you really want is for me to just tell you what happens, as if you have a right to that information on the basis of anxiety alone.

i know this story means a lot to you, i know you just want it to be the best it can possibly be, and i know you want to make sure i don't wind up tripping over myself in the execution. but the thing is that i am not accountable to your concerns. i never have been, and i never will be. i certainly, 100% take those concerns into account, because i don't want to tell a story that inflicts harm accidentally. but i am not aiming to tell a prototypical narrative in any way. the model of transness i showed in gf2 was not meant to be THE model of transness, just my perspective on it. in the same way, the model of plurality i'm showing in gf3 is not meant to be THE model of plurality, just my perspective on it. chapter 8.3.1 was not 40,000 words because i wanted to appease my plural readers. it was 40,000 words because i was reckoning very directly with the psychological reality of my own headmates, and the damage we knowingly/unknowingly inflicted upon each other over the years before i/we recognized our plurality for what it was. which is a thing i feel like i shouldn't have to say!! i really hate toting out the "actually i've suffered so it's okay for me to make challenging queer art" excuse. the work should speak for itself. i'm willing to talk about the art forever, as should be BOUNTIFULLY obvious at this point, but this kind of thing? i don't like talking about my own plurality in public, but i feel like doing so is the only way i can convey the seriousness with which i am treating this story. and that fucking sucks!!! i really just don't appreciate the extra pressure to "get it right." i already knew the pressure was there. you aren't telling me something i don't know by asking this question.

if anything, it feels like a threat. and i know that's not how you intend it, anon. but i have been on this roundabout more than enough times to know where this line of reasoning leads. what happens if i do disappoint you? what happens if you feel utterly betrayed by this work that has helped to define some brilliant piece of you? do i then become the next enemy, the next andrew hussie, the next queer traitor whose name is hissed in hushed tones with derisive vitriol? "she came so close, and then she fucked it all up..."

this exact pressure, from this exact fandom, has literally derailed the lives of several of my closest friends for years. i have watched AND personally endured harassment campaigns both for homestuck fanworks and for discussions around the text of homestuck itself. i almost abandoned godfeels outright last year because i was convinced the joy i felt in telling this story could never be outweighed by the sheer possessive monstrosity with which vocal sections of this fandom treat anyone who tries to do something different. especially if that "something different" involves messy queerness.

to put it as frankly as i can: i do not care about good representation, and i never have. if i cared about good representation, i would have made june exactly the bubbly best-case-scenario post-transition gal that a lot of fanart depicts. if i cared about good representation, i would just have june be plural and immediately start using plural terms and go about it in a very safe and conventional way (insofar as any depiction of plurality can be called "conventional" at this point).

the only thing i, as an artist, have ever cared about is whether my art is telling the truth. if it's not, then it's worthless. if it is, then i believe that accusations of "good representation" will naturally follow, because on the whole i think most readers (especially queer ones) know when you're lying to them. this story has always been rough, traumatic, and challenging, entirely because it is an expression of my own rough, traumatic, and challenging experiences both as a trans woman and now as a plural trans woman. what i care about is making sure that this story is and remains undeniably itself.

and i just don't think that is possible in an environment where i'm also being pressured -even in a well-intentioned way!- to tick the right representational boxes in order to satisfactorily avoid criticism of x y z depiction.

and look. if the last part of this chapter comes out and utterly beefs it, we can talk. i've deliberately not educated myself on a lot of existing plural models because i wanted this to be something that was mine, but it's entirely possible that in the process of that i will end up stumbling over some harmful trope that i didn't know anything about. but fundamentally, my decision to put plurality on the center stage in this narrative was not a "oh i have a lot of plural readers so i should pander to them" situation. i decided to put plurality on the center stage in this narrative because i realized it was always on the center stage, and i was just in denial about it. i would not introduce anything to the universe of this story out of a sense of obligation or fanservice or whatever else. i did this because i believe in it, because i believe it is an honest part of this story that expands and enhances the palette of what already exists in beautiful and unexpected ways. i don't take that lightly. i don't take the responsibility i feel as someone who has, in a very real sense, stumbled ass-backwards into being the steward of what i guess i have to acknowledge at this point is, in some sense, "an important work of plural fiction" lightly.

i know, maybe better than most people, what's at stake here. reminding me of what's at stake only makes me more nervous, thus making my job (which isn't even a job since i literally can't get paid for godfeels) that much harder. so please, just have patience and let me finish this corner of the narrative, and when it's done you can judge it for what it is.

[shinesurge]

I’ve been holding off on making this post because I wanted to try it out myself and get settled in and make sure everything went okay, but seeing as I’ve gone ahead and updated my site and everything I thought now might be a good time to start talking about this publicly! 

If you’ve known me for more than five minutes you know I fucking hate Webtoon, like, a lot. Every aspect of it disgusts me to the core of my being, and while Webtoon is the ugliest version of them the aspects that I hate also extend to basically any comic aggregate site. I hate that they treat artists like content robots, I hate that they treat comic readers like morons who aren’t capable of engaging with complex stories, I hate that they actively try to strip away all the cool parts of indie comics by cultivating sterile and impersonal environments that discourage artistic experimentation and unique expression.

So! I hope you’ll be interested in what I have to say about this new platform that’s (hopefully) going to be out of alpha this summer. If you think you like reading comics on Webtoon, I really encourage you to check out Dillyhub once it launches. That’s the short version, but I have a LOT to say about this! So I’m putting the rest of this under a cut.

Full disclosure, I’m not getting paid or anything for this. The creative outreach at Dillyhub contacted me a few weeks ago asking if I’d be interested in having Kidd Commander be one of their launch titles when they go live this summer. I was hesitant at first, since I actively distrust anything claiming to be For Creators at this point, but they answered my pushy questions patiently and everything seemed on the up and up so I gave it a shot; I’ve been needing a mobile mirror for KC anyway. Eventually they invited me to the alpha creator discord, where they’ve been working directly with all of us artists to improve the platform, and now to be honest I’m REALLY excited for this thing to get off the ground. Nobody asked me to make this post, but since I’ve spent years whining and bitching about how other services do wrong by their creators, I thought I’d talk about this one that’s doing things right.

So, the biggest advantage this site has for creators over others in my opinion is that it. Treats us like individuals, regardless of follower count lmfao. If you’re a new person just starting out with your new webcomic, here’s what webtoon does for you:

Note: you don’t get a custom banner, you don’t even get to choose the solid color it is. That big circle icon is ALSO the image that shows up in searches, but everywhere else on the site it’s a 100x100px square, so you have to choose whether you want it to look good as a giant circle at the top of your comic’s page OR whether you want to look good in search results. Which, by the way, is the ONLY way for people to find you if you’re not partnered. And that’s it! You have no monetization options, you won’t show up on the genre pages, and when someone DOES stumble across your page it looks super unprofessional. Good Luck! 

Now here’s my Dillyhub page(s):

You don’t get a static banner and one icon, you get a whole carousel banner with as many images as you want front and center as soon as you get to the project page. You get seven (custom!) genre tags, as opposed to Webtoon’s single tag you have to pick from their list, and plenty of room to talk about your work. The episodes are even laid out better, you get a MUCH bigger preview space to work with and they’re nice and big on the bottom half of the page:

you know, like they’re actually presenting ART lmfao.

That’s already an ENORMOUS improvement, but here’s my favorite thing.

o hm that’s a lot of super cushy settings I have for every individual episode, but what’s that, Episode Type?

LIKE.

listen, i know this is probably a bit specialized if you’re not a comic maker yourself, but this is a HUGE DEAL. You can post vertically OR page by page! You can even post pages two at a time for double page spreads, or so they read like a physical comic book! AND their specs are really open, as long as the file meets the size requirement you can make it whatever shape you want. You don’t have to reformat all your shit to post here!! I posted the entire first volume of KC STRAIGHT FROM THE PRINT FILES in like half an hour!!! The episodes can also be any amount of pages, you can post a single page or an entire chapter all in one go!

So that’s just the project page for the comic, let’s see what happens when I click on my username there.

Each author gets their own unique page (which you can tack a vanity url to!) to present themselves however they want! You always have the banner at the top, but beyond that you have a ton of options. Among other incredibly useful tools that really should just be bare fucking minimum at this point, like the ability to preview your page on different devices, you start customizing your blank page with this set of widgets,

and from THERE you can customize them MORE, you can promote your patreon or your kickstarter or whatever! Having this creator space ALSO means that if you run several comics, or if you want to promote your comic AND your illustrations, you can just separate them into individual projects! Each with their own page! This is also really nice as a reader because you can subscribe to a creator but you can also just subscribe to specific projects, if you don’t want to get ALL of their stuff in your inbox. It’s so good y’all hh.

Once again, all of this functionality is just THERE as soon as you make your account. You don’t need to be “partnered” or whatever the fuck, you don’t need to meet a certain follower threshold to unlock the ability to operate normally. You get your own creator space to present yourself how you prefer, you get pages for all your projects, you can even set up monetization options (and change them for individual pages IN a project) right from the start.

ok ok let’s compare this to my webtoon page

oh that’s right webtoon just puts your greyed out name at the bottom of each comic and that’s it because human beings don’t make this stuff, my bad lol anyway

Other fun shit that Dillyhub does that makes me feel like they’re people who have actually consumed or made comics on the internet at some point in their lives:

-When you log into the “studio” space, you’re in your creator account. When you log OUT of the studio space, it’s like you swap to a “reader” account, where you can access your pull list and comment on things with a different name and profile icon. Again, maybe only cool if you’re a creator, but if you ARE then you know exactly why this is incredibly useful lmao

-You can set up “hidden” projects, so if you only want certain things to be accessible by certain people or to not show up in searches that’s an option! You have SO much control here it’s great.

-The comment section has moderation options GODDD. You also have a real comment space, you know, so it actually encourages building a community (and a rapport with your community, if you like), and you also can just turn comments off entirely if you want! I haven’t used it much yet, obviously, but it’s been made very clear in the discord that artists want better control over their comment sections and the devs have it on their priority list.

-Absolutely every step of customization gives you a preview before it’s live, so you can easily see what these images you’re posting in different places are going to look like before you beam them to your followers’ inboxes. This includes individual episodes!

-This was sort of in one of the screenshots but it’s important so I’m saying it here too: the option to mark individual episodes as mature or with content warnings, rather than having to mark an entire comic as Mature Spooky Scary Content because of one or two pages getting a bit hairy.

This site is only in alpha right now, and it’s invite-only until they get to beta (for creators; anyone can make a reader account! but they haven’t set up a way to browse comics without direct links yet so) but honest to god it’s already blowing every other site I’ve used clean out of the water. And the staff has been really kind and responsive to us proposing fixes or changes! I will always defend individual websites as being the best option for an indie comic, but everybody’s gotta start somewhere and we NEED something that isn’t Tumblr or Webtoon to fill this role; this site feels a lot more like a symbiotic relationship than any of the other staples available for new creators right now. If you’re a comic reader and you want to see your favorite comics on Dillyhub I’d suggest keeping an eye on this site and once it’s live start poking them to look into it, and if you’re a creator follow their social media and hop in when they open up for anybody to join. I would LOVE to see this site take off as a viable option for hosting and reading comics.

Thanks for reading all this! I haven’t quite finished setting up yet, but if you want to poke around a project/creator page for yourself mine is here have at it. As things progress I’m sure I’ll have more to say, but since I’m usually so aggressively negative about places like this I just wanted to give some credit where it was due. fucking finally.

[yelenasdog]

it was a pleasure to burn (spencer reid x fem bau!reader)

genre: fluff i think even though the name is v angsty LOL it’s a literal screenplay with the amout of dialogue i wrote LMAO so idk

summary: a particularly rough and disturbing case gets to reader, and spencer and reader are brought together by this.

words: just about 6k (my longest fic ahhHH)

warnings: typical criminal minds gore and violence just up a notch, they get on a plane at the end, somebody gets ~shot~, somebody gets ~bonked~, cursing, mentions of reid’s addiction, and i think that’s it. also the reader wears reading glasses but that’s the only predetermined factor of appearance. btw i don’t think i used any pronouns in this but i apologize if i’m wrong. 

a/n: LMFAO i was outside awhile ago celebrating litha with a nice lil hike and i saw a butterfly and i had just started watching cm and was like hMMm... killer who’s obsessed with symmetry??!1??!? y Es. enjoy 😼 EDIT: THERE IS SO MANY PLOT HOLES OMG FBREHJBFHEJFRE IM RBFBRE

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

Present Day, Central Park, New York

“Aren’t they just stunning?” The unsub spoke, keeping her eyes trained on the butterfly sitting happily on her finger. The brightly colored creature fluttered off her hand that was dripping scarlet, flying around her curly head of brown hair. Her, formerly white, blood-stained dress flowed around her as she followed it, watching in awe as it soared about. She giggled, plopping down on the grass in the middle of a circle of her victim’s pale, lifeless bodies, all of them with ironically morbid butterflies resting upon the frail skin of the corpses.

“Aren’t they, agents?”

She slanted her green eyes, gripping the grass a little harder. I flicked my tongue over my lips nervously, looking over to the lanky man on my left. He simply shrugged, just about as sure of how to handle the situation just as much as I was.

“If I knew you all were coming, I would have cleaned up, I really would have, I promise.”

We slowly walked towards her, twigs and leaves crunching under our feet. It could have been comparable to a hunter stalking its prey, but it unfortunately was quite the opposite.

6 days earlier, Quantico, Virginia

“3 bodies, all found within the last 48 hours in rural New York. So far, the first body has revealed that although it was dumped upstate, the victim was murdered in the city, and the same most likely goes for the other bodies as well. Nails well manicured, no drugs in the system. They aren't junkies, we’re dealing with upper class citizens.”

My face contorted as I took the photos from Reid’s hands, his large and tanned one surprising me by how soft it felt as it accidentally brushed against mine. I blushed like a madman, looking to see him doing the same thing. I cleared my throat getting Rossi’s attention.

“Why are we only now hearing of this?” I questioned, flipping through the images as I did so, my confusion only growing. I didn’t recieve an answer, leaving my curiosity to bloom.

“Wait, how did you say they were killed again?”

Morgan looked up, taking the photos from me. “He didn’t.”

I sighed, pushing my glasses up on my nose.

“Is there at least any correlation between the bodies and the butterflies?”

Our attention was shifted to JJ, the resident expert on the insects.

“Actually, the ones being found with the bodies are from the Amarynthis family, all native to Latin America. They weren’t there by accident so yes, they’re somehow related.”

Rossi stood up, grabbing his coat.

“Well, none of this is nearly enough for a profile, so pack your bags and tell the others, wheels up in an hour. We’re headed to New York.”

4 days earlier, F.B.I. Field Office, New York, New York

“The final report from the latest victim is in, all the autopsies are clean. They show no signs of struggles, no marks, no blood, no anything. The eyes weren’t bloodshot, so suffocation is ruled out, and that was our best bet.”

I sighed, sliding the case file across the glass table to Spence as I took my seat, sinking into it and allowing myself to be consumed by its warmth.

“So what your saying is that we’re back at square one.”

I looked up at Hotch from where I sat, running my hand through my ponytail.

“Yeah. That’s what I’m saying.”

Just then, the young Doctor spoke up as he flipped through the pages.

“The eyes weren’t just not bloodshot, there was barely any blood left in any of the victims bodies, only about 3% of the volume left. The killer drained them.”

Morgan gave me a shocked expression, silently asking for an explanation.

“Which you failed to mention, Y/n.” Aaron spoke, agitation once again present in his voice.

I looked at the ceiling, crossing my arms in front of me before turning to face Hotch once more.

“Yeah, well, I thought it was obvious when I said no blood.” I stuttered out cautiously.

“On the bodies! Not in the bodies!” Morgan exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in what was in my opinion, very childish. Everyone else in the room aside from Spencer was either shaking their heads or pinching the bridge of their noses, and reasonably so.

“Look, I’m sorry I just didn’t see it in the report, plus, In the scheme of things, it just doesn’t seem to matter.”

I soon regretted my words, realizing how ill-fit they were for the current conversation I was having. Spencer looked up, tilting his head.

“Doesn’t seem to matter? How? There’s an endless amount of possibilities now that we know this. If we had known it sooner we probably could have figured out the pattern and caught the one doing this!” He harshly spewed, his voice acting like a crescendo of sorts, quiet and calm and moving towards a loud and violent tone. Tears began to prick at the corners of my eyes and I was starting to feel guilty, not to mention absolutely stupid as could be.

“I’m- I really am sorry guys, truly.”

Hotch locked eyes with me, taking a stern tone that one would usually take with a disobedient child, perhaps even Jack.

“I hope that’s a comfort to you when another body shows up. That’s their blood on your hands.”

I was frozen, the gravity of the situation taking its toll.

In the background I heard him say something to Morgan about a new profile having to be made as there were many new things to be known from this revelation. But it all went in one ear and out the other, just unpleasant white noise.

As I clumsily stumbled out of the room, I felt Reid’s eyes burning holes into the back of my brain. I was quick to turn my head to meet his glance, causing him to look down. I felt bad, the weight on my chest growing heavier from the interaction.

I sat down at my desk, turning on my computer and immediately going to google. I typed in “hypnosis” and let the info trickle in.

About 30 minutes later, I still felt absolutely horrible, but I had also put together a valuable profile in the time that had passed. I shut the newly finished file, blowing an abandoned strand of hair out from my eyes. I had to do a double take when I saw Spencer staring once more, his deep hazel eyes meeting my own. I gave him a small smile before standing up and walking to Hotch’s makeshift New York office. I pushed open the heavy door, placing the folder on his too-clean desk.

“What’s this?” He asked, taking it in his hands.

“My theory about the unsub. I think I know what she’s been doing. You can tell the team if you want, I’m not sure if they would wanna hear it from me. ”

He gave a small smile, pushing the file back over to me.

“You get the team together and I’ll get the local PD caught up. You tell them yourself.”

A few minutes later, everyone except for Reid had gathered in the meeting room. I peeked through the half closed blinds that allowed a line of vision to his desk in an attempt to locate him. He was positioned there, staring blankly at his laptop that appeared to have nothing on the screen. I knocked on the window lightly to catch his attention, his glazed over eyes looking in my direction. I tilted my head at him, silently beckoning him to join me. He only shook his in response, shaggy brown locks swaying back and forth. I sighed, frowning at his action. I turned to the group, clasping my hands in front of me.

“Everyone, this will just be a second if you’ll excuse me.”

With a raised eyebrow from Hotchner and a jab in the direction of Spencer’s workspace, I swiftly walked out of the crowded room.

“Spence, care to join us?” I asked, resting one of my hands against my hip, the other on his orderly desk.

“No, I don’t think I will. I need to try to figure this out before she finds her next victim.”

“What makes you think the unsub is a she?” I searched his eyes that had seemingly become brighter at my piqued interest in his hypothesis.

“Well, the unsub seems to be obsessed with symmetry, all the bodies being found in obscure yet symmetrical positions. This could suggest she had some sort of deep rooted insecurity, possibly from some sort of bullying from growing up in a small town where she was looked at as a superior for subpar looks. She moved to the big city, expecting a big break. Instead she was shunned for being less than average. She grew frustrated and as a result, she began her killing spree. The stresser could have been one too many insults that made her snap. Plus, that would account for the butterflies left on the scenes that are used in modern examples of both femininity and symmetry.”

I smiled widely at his words.

“What- why are you smiling, what are you smiling at?”

I tapped his desk, rolling my bottom lip between my teeth. I headed back towards the conference room, looking over my shoulder.

“Because, I’m glad we’re on the same page, Dr.”

——————

“So, our girl, as Dr. Reid has explained to us, is obsessed with her appearance. She’s an organized killer, no mistakes and no signs of blood or anything of the sort on scene. She has practice, she does this sort of thing every day. She is most likely in the age group of 23-30, and has a job in the cosmetic industry, our guess is in plastic surgery. She probably volunteers weekends at local butterfly sanctuaries or zoos, finding comfort in their perfection that those in her life, or formerly in her life, cannot and could not provide.”

“Which would explain to her easy access to non-native species of the insects. She has an absolute infatuation with symmetry, which yet again, links the butterflies on the crime scene to her MO.”

Spencer and I were vividly explaining our shared theory to the team, as well as local law enforcement. He was excited by his discovery and the lead on the killer, and his energy was contagious.

“She kills without remorse and out of jealousy, picking victims who all have one thing in common.”

Spence pointed to all of the images pasted on the board in the center of the room, all of them split in half and reflected, creating a perfect mirrored portrait.

“They all have perfectly symmetrical faces, as well as strong jawlines and high cheekbones. As most of these victims are models or those searching to start a modeling career, we believe she is luring them in with a photographer trope, promising to make their dreams come true.”

I nodded, taking a moment to study Reid’s own sharp yet somehow soft features. I allowed my eyes to wander over his sunken in, kind, and curious eyes; his pillowy pink lips that are in dire need of some chapstick.

“Agent?”

I turned my head, snapped back to reality by Rossi calling my name.

I gave a tight and quick smile, returning to the topic at hand and tactics to catch the unsub. But of course not before Emily gave me a crooked smile, resulting in me rolling my eyes.

“Physically, she’s nothing special, most likely a mundane appearance or one with quite obvious surgical changes. No in between. Check all of the plastic surgeon offices in the area for both employees who fit our description, as well as a patient who has gotten any serious facial mod operations. Do the same for any weekend volunteers at local zoos and animal sanctuaries, specifically working with any insects.”

It was an NYPD officer then that spoke up this time, raising her hand briefly.

“But, you still haven’t mentioned how she’s killing them?”

“Hypnosis.” Reid and I both spoke at the same time. He looked to his black Converse, sliding his hands into his pockets. I observed the room and all of the skeptical faces filling it.

“Even if it may sound far fetched, we saw no signs of anything that indicated a struggle or even any marks or wounds. This led us to believe that some form of hypnosis was used to allow her an easy kill. This means extra caution will have to be taken when actually handling the unsub. Even though we’re positive she’s using hypnosis, which method she is using to actually kill them after the fact is what we’re unsure of.”

I turned to Spencer, handing off the explanation to him.

“We think that because of her whole thing with symmetry, she wouldn’t want to disturb the natural state of the victims and their faces, even if she would do the same to her own.”

“Which means?” JJ asked, her blue eyes slanted and glossed lips left ajar.

“It means that the unsub wouldn’t want to leave any large marks like stab or gunshot wounds.” I nodded at Prentiss, who had made the assumption, confirming she was correct.

“With her presumed background in plastic surgery, we believe she was able to make small incisions that made no visible scars. We’re having the coroner look back over the bodies as we speak.”

“She drains the body’s blood 97% of the way before closing the holes up. What she does with the blood, we don’t know. Another Eddie Mays, perhaps.”

I looked over to Spencer, raising my brows at his comparison. He was quick to defend himself, shaking his hands left to right and mouthing “No” while simultaneously shaking his head the same way, something he seemed to be doing often as of late.

After we had finished consulting with any officers who had remaining questions, we branched off to conduct our own routine investigations. We found that the only thing they all had in common apart from the symmetrical faces, is that they all had visited the Central Park Zoo in the 24 hours before they were killed. We received a phone call from Garcia not long after we put together those pieces, being alerted that there was one girl who had, in her words, “Hit every mark there was to hit, sunshine.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

“Her name is Alessia Copelas, she works weekdays as a surgeon's assistant at Premier Cosmetic, and weekends at Central Park Zoo from 4-8 p.m.”

I smiled at the new info from the blonde bombshell known as Penelope, turning to Reid who was still looking at me quizzically.

“Alright, thanks babes, you’re the best.” I spoke into the phone, a comical “Mwah!” made from either side as we hung up.

He shook his head, keeping the odd look on his face.

“I swear, you guys have a weirder relationship than her and Morgan.”

I laughed, sliding my phone into my back pocket.

“Oh, please, Spence.” I gingerly placed a hand on his cheek, patting it twice.

“You’re just jealous.” I made a pouty face, letting my hand linger before walking off. “Come on, we’re going on a field trip.”

“Where to?” He asked, gripping the door frame, using it as leverage to swing himself closer to me. He took long and quick strides, catching up to me in no time.

“You like animals, right?”

———————

4 Days Earlier, Central Park Zoo, New York

As soon as we entered the zoo, our ears were filled with the sounds of the loud screeches of birds and monkeys alike. Reid covered his ears, cringing and making his displeasure known with an “Ahh!”

I smiled at his geeky behavior, admiring the animals in the enclosures. I paid special attention to a particularly impressive species of tarantula, leaning down to admire them. A few moments later I looked to my left and saw Spencer doing the same thing.

“Did you know that arachnids have asthma which is why they don’t run for extended periods of time, similarly to cheetahs?”

“Yes I did.”

His face scrunched up in an adorable manner, causing an involuntary giggle to fall past my lips.

“Well did you know that-“

“Ma’am?”

I turned to see a young woman with flaming red hair and a freckled face smiling at me, her green collared uniform top complimenting her eyes of a different shade wonderfully.

“Oh, hi, I’m Agent Y/l/n and this is Dr. Reid, we’re with the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI.”

Her expression shifted to a more confused one, her smile not leaving her face.

“What can I do for you two?”

“Is there an Alessia Copelas that works here, maybe volunteers on the weekends?” Spencer asked, his puppy dog eyes immediately warranting a response.

“Yeah, she volunteers here, she seems nice. Is she helping with an investigation?”

“Well we think that she may have some part in a series of murders.”

Her smile disappeared this time, turning into a cement frown as panic flooded her body.

“Oh God, was she- Is she a killer? Have I been working with a killer for all this time? I mean, I never had any shifts with her but from what I heard I thought she was so sweet-“

“Look,”

Reid glanced down to her name tag that read “Lillian” before meeting her eyes. His tongue darted out, licking his lips, a nervous habit of his I’d picked up on.

“Lillian, we aren’t sure if she’s the killer we just needed to get a feel on her and get some information regarding her personal life.”

She started frantically nodding her head, more trying to convince herself she was okay rather than ourselves. I looked over her shoulder at some exhibits, thinking to myself how this would end up being a waste of our time if this poor girl couldn’t get a grip on herself.

I was soon proven wrong when I looked over to see a young girl wearing an identical uniform to Lillian, probably somewhere between 23 and 24. She had untamed chocolate locks with bangs that stopped just above the shoulder, blemishes covering her T-Zone, and a rounded face to go with it.

The cherry on top? Under her arm she carried a small enclosure with what appeared to be amarynthis meneria, the same butterflies found on the victims.

I tapped Reid on the shoulder once as discreetly as possible, catching his attention. I heard him mutter a small “Oh God” before he told Lillian to walk away calmly and quickly. She ignored his request, turning to look at Alessia, letting out a blood curdling scream and sprinting the other direction.

“Shit.” I cursed, beginning to walk towards Alessia, Spencer by my side. I smiled at her, trying to appear friendly. Reid spoke up as we got closer.

“Hello, do you by any chance-“

wham!

“Spence!” I exclaimed, reaching down to help him up from where he had fallen from being whacked by the 4’2 pyscho that was Alessia Copelas.

“Did she get away?”

I turned to see her gone, the only sign she was even here being the forming bruise on the Dr’s face.

“Yeah. She did. I’m sorry, Reid, that was really stupid of me.” He shook his head, running his own hand over the raw skin.

“It’s fine, I would have done the same for you.” He looked up, and I wasn’t sure if it was my school-girl esque crush on him or the fact I just had another experience with a serial killer, but my heart was racing nonetheless.

————————

F.B.I. Field Office, New York, New York, 1 Day Earlier

The stress levels in the room were high.

Despite our best efforts, several more bodies had been found, New York’s narcissists were in a state of panic, and the spirits of the BAU were down to say the least.

“What? Are you kidding me?” I exclaimed, looking at Hotch in disbelief.

He rolled his chocolate eyes, fanning the folder containing the new information we had gathered on Alessia.

“I wish I was, Y/n. She’s off the grid completely, her apartment is empty, phone and credit cards have been deactivated, and the surgeon’s office hasn’t heard from her for 5 days. And the media has decided to give her the name ‘Butterfly Baron’, so she’s probably been fueled even further. We need a new lead before she strikes again.”

I scoffed, standing up and pushing my chair away.

“This is unbelievable. How many times do we have to reinforce the idea to local PD! Especially when the unsub is a self absorbed psycho, do not give them a name! God, I really cannot fathom this.”

I reached up, letting my hair down from where I had messily thrown it up upon my arrival to work that morning.

I stormed out of the room, my heels clicking behind me. I ignored Hotch’s calling of my name, making my way to the closest restroom.

I went in, locking the door behind him. I ran my hands through my roots, tugging just enough to where it hurt.

Turning the water to the left all the way, I splashed it from the stream leaving the faucet on to my face. I scratched my fingernails against the skin, wiping away the tears that had escaped.

“This is all your fault, y/n.” I whispered at myself in the mirror, doing my absolute best to engrain the message in my brain. I had my head hung in shame when a knock rang out.

“Y/n?”

It was Spencer. My mind started going a million miles a minute, thinking about why he could be there. With my voice raised a few octaves, I tried to scrape up a response.

“I’ll be out in a few, Spence.”

It was quiet for a split second, leaving me to foolishly dance around the idea that he had left me to wallow in my sorrowful thoughts.

“Y/n, Hotch wanted me to check on you. Are you ok?”

My heart slightly sank at the idea that he might’ve just come to check on me because he himself was worried. I discarded the thought, bringing myself back.

“Y/n can you please answer me? If you don’t open the door I’m gonna send in JJ or Emily.”

I sighed, wiping under my eyes where my mascara had smudged, begrudgingly walking over to the door. Just as my hand landed on the silver handle, his voice that was constantly playing in my head echoed out once more.

“Y/n, please? I need to know you’re okay. I’ll come in there myself.”

A soft smirk graced my face as I turned the handle to reveal a worried looking Spencer.

“Y/n, oh God, you had me worried.”

He was quiet when he spoke and his hair looked messy, like he had been running his slender fingers through it in a stress filled state.

I sniffled, attempting to still keep back tears that were still threatening to spill.

“I’m alright, Spencer. Really, I’m fine.”

He gave me a small smile, his eyes meeting my own.

“I know, it’s just that when I had my Diludad problem,” he hesitated.

“I would lock myself in bathrooms to shoot up, and I know you aren’t having a problem like that but I just was worried about you- what are you doing?”

I cut off his rambling by throwing my arms around his middle. He tensed, but quickly melted. He wrapped his strong arms around my shoulders and my waist, laying his head on mine.

“Y/n, I promise you, you’re doing your absolute best to stop Alessia. We wouldn’t even be where we are right now if you hadn’t made the connections. Those deaths are not your fault.”

My tears finally began to cascade like a waterfall, staining his shirt.

“I know, but it’s just like it is all my fault! I could have paid closer attention, or-or, I could have went after her at the zoo, it’s all my fucking fault, Reid.”

I sobbed into his shirt, my hand gripping his shirt like my life depended on it. Like if I let go I would fall into a deep, deep, endless hole.

His hand on my waist moved up to cradle my head.

“It’s not, I promise you-“

He was cut off mid sentence by the ringing of his phone.

“I am so, so sorry-”

I pulled away, breifly touching under my nose with my wrist, then moving a hair behind my ear.

“Nope, it’s fine, don’t worry.” Our words almost had overlapped each other as we clambered to fight the tension that had risen. I closed my eyes, tilting my head up, thinking about how unprofessional yet intimate our previous position had been. How wrong, yet how right it felt.

I kept running the moment through my head, the feeling of his warm figure encasing mine on replay.

His phone call played as background noise to the film playing in my brain, his voice calming me to an extent.

“Yeah, we’re on our way. Thanks, Morgan.”

He closed the phone with a snap, also snapping me out of my trance, putting the movie on pause.

“They’ve got a hit. Copelas was seen dropping by her old apartment.”

And for the first time since that Goddamn case had started, I smiled genuinely.

“Let’s go get her.”

————————

15 Minutes Prior, Central Park, New York

“Hotch?”

“Yes?” He looked back from where he was driving, following our lead in a rushed manner.

“What will we do if she...” I trailed off.

“Hypnotizes one of us?” He finished for me. I nodded solemnly.

The look on his face was conflicted and it took him a moment to come up with a response.

“We kill her before we have to kill one of our team members.”

He saw a look of uncertainty on my face and spoke up once more.

“And that’s an order.”

I nodded again, making eye contact with him through the rear view mirror. I fell back into my seat, closing my eyes briefly.

After a few more minutes on the road, we had arrived.

The doors all slammed to the SUVs, one after the other as we stepped out.

“The letter said that she would be here, somewhere here.”

The voice of Morgan was channeling through my earpiece, referring to the letter found at her apartment that she had left just for us.

“We ordered evac on citizens, correct?”

The unsure voice of JJ was also heard through the earpiece, her uncertainty quite unusual to hear.

“Yes, it was the first thing we did, Jayj.”

I whispered, a sly smirk from Spencer forming at my behavior.  

“Oh shut up.”

“I didn’t even say anything!”

snap!

Our senses adapted, becoming dialed to 11 at the sound of a twig snapping under someone's feet.

“Was that you?” I mouthed to Spencer. He shook his head no and I silently cursed to whatever force was listening.

I nodded, which he then reciprocated, the pair of us slowly walking towards the source of the sound after he did.

“They’re going to remember me, I’ll go down in history.”

The voice was sing-songy and quiet, floating through the air. I took a shaky breath, continuing my steady pace.

My breathing momentarily halted soon after.

Different variations of “Oh my God”s, and loud gasps from almost everyone on the team flooded my ear canal at the horrifying sight in front of us.

Red. So much of it.

“Guys, I think we know what she’s been doing with the bodies’ blood.”

“No shit.” I muttered under my breath.

She was bathed in the blood, it looked like something straight out of a horror movie.

“Alright everyone, I want you to approach her as quietly as possible, Morgan, if you get the chance, corner her.”

Hotch’s voice was a stark contrast to her own, Derek’s response all the same.

—————————

Present Day, Central Park, New York

“But Agents, you still haven’t answered my question. They’re beautiful, aren’t they?”

“Alessia Copeleas, FBI, come on, get up, lets go.”

Derek’s voice was stern, not asking, but demanding that Alessia come with us.

“I’m afraid I just can’t do that, Agents.”

She stood up abruptly, causing all of our weapons to rise. The sun reflected off of the silver metal of Reid’s gun, sparkling in a stunning way that caught me off guard.

We all were trying to act as if we were in total control of the situation, but we could tell that us nor Copelas really believed that. Her words were her weapon, and this was the one time where words could hurt, but sticks and stones had virtually no power.

“Take another step and we will have no hesitation to fire.”

She smirked, rolling her eyes.

“If you do, will I be famous you think? You think they’ll hear about me back home?”

Her curls softly blew in the wind, making her appear almost harmless, maybe even endearing, if it wasn’t for the hardening coat of human blood soaking her clothes and seeping from her skin.

“Is that what you want? The kids back home and everyone here to hear about you? You want ‘Butterfly Baron’ written on every billboard in Times Square, your picture painted in museums, films to be made in your honor?” Reid was the one who spoke up this time, his voice remaining strong. Her eyes shone with a sickening excitement at what he said.

“You want to be famous?”

She nodded vigorously.

“Too bad.”

My eyes widened, surprised at the detour the conversation had taken.

“What-what do you mean?”

“Please, the only thing people will hear about is a sad, boring little girl from a small town who killed to feel better about herself. They’ll forget about you in a week, who knows, maybe they’ll even grow an infatuation with your town, someone you went to school with may get as lucky as to catch their big break!” He laughed, while Alessia looked absolutely devastated.

“You? You’ll be a nobody.”

“That’s not true! I’ll go down in history, and they won’t! I’m the fucking butterfly baron for hells sake! All these people?” She gestured towards her field of bodies.

“You won’t remember their names, maybe not even their pretty faces, but me? I’ll live forever.”

Her nostrils flared and she strode over to Reid with purpose. The safety on my glock clicked off, but Spencer motioned for me to wait. So I did.

“You know, Agent-“

“It’s Doctor.”

This visibly agitated her even more as she started her sentence over again.

“Doctor, you have a beautiful bone structure. Absolutely perfect. Symmetrical, not to mention just flat out stunning.”

A glaze formed over Spencer’s honey eyes at her words. He lowered his gun momentarily before turning towards me, Copelas doing the same.

“And you, Agent. Wow. I feel like I’m in an art exhibit, you’re gorgeous. I think the Doctor man here would agree.”

As he lifted his revolver at me, the situation became all too real as I understood what was happening.

I either had to shoot the man that I was struggling to admit I was beginning to love, or died at the hands of the very same man.

Tears flooded my eyes, all safeties were turned down, and all guns were pointed at Reid.

“Spence, please.”

My voice was weak, something that seemed to bring Alessia lots of joy.

She laughed before talking again, commanding Spencer.

“Pathetic, really! Spence”, she mocked,“shoot her.”

“No!”

bang!

whack!

--------------------- 

Present Day, Somewhere In The Sky, The Jet

I opened my eyes from where I had been tackled to the ground by Hotch, surveying my surroundings to see Alessia laying on the grass, the source of her gunshot wound non-distinguishable from the previous blood on her body.

I looked to the right to see where Spencer had crumpled to, his frame bent in a discombobulated position.

“Spencer!” I cried out, crawling over to him like some sort of dog,

“What happened to him?”

“Y/n, he was going to shoot you-“

“I don’t care you should have let him!”

I cradled his head in my lap, allowing my pent up tears to fall.

“Y/n?”

My eyes snapped open for real this time, my mind calmed at the sight of Spencer sitting next to me on the couch, gently shaking my shoulder in an attempt to wake me from my nightmare.

“Spencer! Sorry, was I too loud?”

He chuckled, gesturing to the rest of the sleeping plane around us.

“You’re fine, I wasn’t sleeping, I decided to reread ‘Fahrenheit 451’ for nostalgia purposes. And you weren’t that loud, you just looked like you were having a bad dream.”

I chuckled at the not-so outlandish idea in an attempt to diminish it from his mind and move on.

“I’m fine. But fun fact, I did have nightmares after reading ‘The Veldt’. Seriously, I don’t get how you can just reread Bradbury’s stuff all the time.”

The genius scoffed, starting a rant on how Ray Bradbury’s storytelling was just classic literature and deserved to be reread, thus successfully changing the topic as I hoped my statement would. Although soon after, he caught on much quicker than I would have liked him to.

“And not to mention, The Veldt alone could be seen as a forewarning to the 21st century and beyond, even Bradbury himself supported that interpretation-‘

I gave him a tired smile, enjoying his rambling like I always did.

“-and you totally just got me to change the subject.”

“I was wondering when you were gonna catch up.”

“Hey!”

He laughed as I rested my head on my hand, trying to fall back asleep.

“Really, I can tell those nightmares are bad. What’s going on?” He questioned, his tone empathetic and compassionate.

“It’s nothing, Reid. I just keep seeing in the park, when Alessia got shot and you-you got hurt but instead of getting up like you did in real life, you just…”

I trailed off, not wanting to relive the negative dream any longer for fear of the tears that were pricking my eyes escaping.

“It’s okay, that didn’t happen, I’m right here.”

He pulled me into a hug, allowing me to bury my head in the crook of his neck, his warmth consuming me once more, a sequel to the film from earlier.

“I know, but what if it hadn’t?” I asked as I pulled away.

He shook his head, reaching for his wallet.

“In this job, this course of work, we can’t focus on ‘what if’s’. In this job, we also get nightmares, all of us. It happens.”

He slid a picture over to me, it was of a happy family. The edges were worn from years of being carried, but the picture seemed loved.

“Gideon gave me that when my nightmares started. He told me about how those families we save everyday, and how that’s what makes what we do worth it. And I know you didn’t know Gideon personally, or the work on the specific case with that family, but I want you to have it anyway-“

I cut him off by throwing my arms around his neck, attempting to speak despite being muffled by his fluffy sweater.

“Thank you, Spence. Truly.”

I smiled, and I imagined he was doing the same.

“No problem y/n. Anytime.”

I moved my legs over to be tucked underneath my arms, leaning into Reid. He wrapped his arm around me, also leaning in. We both managed to fall asleep for the remainder of the ride in our state of content, but not before he managed to sleepily call out my name.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“When we land do you wanna go on a date or somethin’?”

I smiled at him, separating from his form just long enough to see that beautiful face of his.

“Without a doubt.”

🂦∙🂦∙🂦

AHAHAHHAHAHAHA I’M WAY TOO HAPPY WITH THAT LMAOOO but anyway chile- 

i don’t have some long ass paragraph to write this time omg wig, i’m just proud asf of my work for once (except for the zoo part ngl kinda didn’t like it😳) 

😛✨vibes✨ love u, xx hj

[dirtyoatmeall]

Dig (Tsukishima x Reader)

A/N: I will def be writing more for these, as an archaeology major, I hold paleontology major tsukki in a special place in my heart. Also everything about the dig I describe is most likely incorrect lmao. 

Pairing: Paleontology major! Tsukki x Archaeology major! Reader (she/they pronouns used)

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: None :)

`

You met Tsukishima Kei the first day of your first year of college. It was your intro Anthropology course, and you had bumped into him on accident entering the auditorium. You had kept your head down, mumbling an apology before hurriedly finding a seat in the middle of the room. He sat a few seats over in the same row and you tried your best not to glance at him, he was obviously attractive, but all it took was a raised eyebrow when he caught you staring for you to look away blushing, pretending to look through your bag for something. You busied yourself with numbering the pages in your notebook until the professor started class.

It was a relatively small class, so the professor had everyone stand up and introduce themselves with their pronouns, major/minor, and one thing they want to accomplish. When it was your turn you tried your best not to sound confident as you spoke, though it didn’t last long, as the professor immediately asked you to repeat yourself louder. You were bright red by the time you finished introducing yourself. “H-hi, my name is (Y/N), I’m double majoring in bio-archaeology and Classics, my pronouns are she/they and I want to find Alexander the Great.” The professor nodded and the next person stood up to introduce themselves as you sat down, fiddling with your pen.

Tsukishima didn’t really think much of you until he watched you do the icebreaker for class. He thought it was an ambitious goal, and respectable dual majors. Though the thing that really drew his attention to you was the face you made when the person next to you introduced themselves as an archaeology major and that they wanted to find a complete T-Rex skeleton. Your face had twisted rather cutely into a grimace at your classmates words, turning to your notebook and scribbling in the corners. After the professor kindly explained the differences between archaeology and paleontology, it was his turn. He stood up, introduced himself “Tsukishima, he/him pronouns, paleozoology major, museum studies minor. And I’d like to find a job right out of school.” He sat down as the professor nodded and made a joke about finding a job. Soon enough the entire class had introduced themselves and the professor started going over the syllabus.

The first time Tsukishima saw you outside of class it was a Friday night. 3 a.m. to be exact. Thankfully your university had a 24hr library, and most of the students took advantage of it, though it was usually dead at this time of night, or morning. He spied you almost right away, nestled in a corner with multiple stacks of books and cans of energy drinks. You were nodding your head along to a dong and when he walked past he could very clearly hear ABBA blasting in your headphones. He smirked to himself and sat down a table down from you, getting ready to study for the upcoming test on Wednesday. He would get up periodically to get a book or a snack from the vending machine near the door. He noticed that every time he got up, your eyes would flicker to him, and you would pause your work, messing with your phone until he sat down again. He would return the favor, watching your things while you were gone.

About an hour into his study session he looked up to your spot when he heard you groan quietly. You aggressively paused your music and cutely pouted down at your notebook. You skimmed a few pages in the book next to you, comparing it to your notebook and whatever was on the screen of your laptop before rolling your eyes and softly face planting onto the book in front of you. Your eyes briefly fluttered to where he was, and you smiled slightly when the two of you made eye contact. He pretended to get back to the book he was supposed to be reading, but he watched you sigh as your eyes flickered from your notebook to him before you quietly got up and shuffled towards his table. He fully looked at you when you slid into the seat across from him, and he raised an eyebrow when you smiled awkwardly.

“Uh, Hi. I’m (Y/N), we have anth 250 together right?” You asked even though you very well knew he was in that class, but you still waited for confirmation before you continued. “That’s what I thought. Could you maybe help me with this? I’m having a hard time grasping it.” He glanced at what you were pointing at and nodded, he had also had some trouble with it, and had just recently figured it out. He explained it to you, smiling when he saw your eyebrows raise as you let out a soft ’ooohhh’ once you had grasped it. You had moved to get up when he cleared his throat, “Uh, you can sit here if you want, that way if you have any other questions you don’t have to come all the way over here.” Tsukishima didn’t look at you when he said it, but saw you smile and nod out of the corner of his eye. You brought your stuff over to his table and the two of you studied together for a few more hours, occasionally talking about class that led into talking about random things the two of you both liked.

At 5:30 you sighed, closing your laptop and putting away your things. “I should probably head back to my dorm, I have been here for about 12 hours” You chuckled and Tsukishima nodded and began to pack up as well. “I’ll walk you to your dorm.” You paused, looking at him puzzled. “Oh you don’t have to do that, I live all the way in East Village.” He simply waved your concern away “Me too, I have a class at 10 anyway, I should probably stop for the night. You snorted and waited for the blonde to be done before the two of you headed to your dorm building.

The two of you continued to talk about random things on the way back, from music tastes to favorite myths to what tree you would be. You both paused to watch the sunrise at the hill next to your dorm building, watching the colors slowly melt together as the stars disappeared from view. You turned to smile at Tsukishima to find he was already looking at you, an uncharacteristic soft look on his face. You flushed slightly and the two of you continued to your dorm building. You saluted to him before getting off the elevator onto your floor. You glanced at your phone as you got ready for bed, glad you didn’t have any classes until noon.

From that day on you and Tsukishima sat together during your anthropology class and studied together every Friday. You partnered together for the few projects assigned and even hung out outside of class, growing closer as the semester flew by. You were planning on meeting him for lunch after you finished finals, which you just did. You sent him a text and headed to the café the two of you frequent. You ordered a drink and sat at the corner table, scrolling through your phone until Tsukishima arrived. The two of you discussed your finals, and the classes you were taking next semester (you had 2 of them together thankfully) before Tsukishima sighed. “Do you want to get dinner on Saturday?” You smiled nodding, “Yeah! Are there some last minute things you want to go over for a final?” He rolled his eyes and looked at you flatly, which was a normal look for the blonde. “No, like a date.” You stopped, mid-drink as you absorbed his words. When you did you flushed and swallowed, looking away shyly. “Yeah, I’d really like that.” Tsukishima smiled and nodded.

10 years later~

You sighed, wiping your forehead as you straightened up, moving to your phone to change the music blaring from the speakers. It was hot, the hat doing nothing to shield you from the sun as you crouched down again, picking up your trowel. You were about to continue your section of the dig when you heard a noise of surprise from the next section over. “(Y/N)! I think I found something, it looks like bone!”

Your eyes grew wide and you jumped out of the pit into the one a few feet away, joining the college student in looking at what they found. They brushed some more dirt away, revealing a large bone, too large to be human. You groaned, climbing out to grab your phone, disconnecting it from the speaker and dialing a number before stepping away, pout on your face. The college student looked at the other dig lead, confused on why you seemed upset. The dig lead chuckled, waving away their concern. “Don’t worry, you didn’t do anything wrong. (Y/N) just has to call in a paleontologist, and the one on this dig just happens to be an ass.” The college student nodded and climbed out of the pit, not wanting to disturb anything.

Thankfully it wasn’t too long before another car pulled in. You immediately walked over, hands on your hips as you talked to the person getting out. The rest of the crew could see them smirk and flick your forehead, before leaning down to kiss you. The college student made a noise of surprise as the two of you walked over, bumping shoulders and you discussed details of the dig. “Wait, I thought you said she didn’t like them.” The dig lead just shook his head, “I said he was an ass, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like him, in fact, they’re married.”