#lmao this is doing numbers pls check out my art

[cosmotropic]

I just really gotta talk about how fucking devastating Elon Musk has been for my life, personally.

I had over 1k followers on twitter. This was the backbone of my art career! I had mutuals with artists who are actual honest to god household names, and had regular customers, and while it was still a VERY small business it was still a business in the art world. This new rule of not allowing links to other social media though would kill an artist, because the "marketing funnel" requires links to other sites.

Now? I basically have to start again from almost nothing. Because one oligarch threw tantrum after tantrum. Tumblr is my only real option, and lets be real, its still kinda chugging along. I have faith its getting better but for now its a slog getting any attention for anything.

Anyways please PLEASE i beg you, reblog EVERY small business post you encounter, no matter how small or even not quite what you love. A lot of people are being forced to completely start from nothing again and we NEED new followers to do so!

[thelilylav]

Y'know what? Fuck it (gives u guys a list of poc artists to listen to cause the white ppl on the music side of tumblr have been embarassing me)

List is under the cut, and warning bc I made it very long

Rock:

Los Abuelos De La Nada

Gesu No Kiwami Otobe

Chuck Berry

Ben E. King

Los Prisoneros

Ahmed Fakroun (ok this one's french art rock but in my book it still counts)

Burnout Syndromes (been fucking w them since I got into Haikyuu lmao)

Infinity Song (their hater song genuinely gets me every time LMAO)

People in the Box

N.E.R.D (my god if u don't know them.. idk dude my brother has been obsessed w them for forever so i just was not getting away regardless lol)

Punk/Punk Rock (& other punk subgenres):

Nova Twins (u must listen to them it's just the way it's gotta be guys)

Rina Sawayama (her hatred of Matty Healy is so attractive. i cannot believe i found her two years ago cause i still remember i would not shut up when i first heard her music it was so good)

BABYMETAL (the way their band name just straight up screams at people gets me every time lmaooo)

Indie:

The Younger Lovers

Mashrou Leila

Stella Jang

Shak SYrn (Jenni is on repeat in my room at any given moment)

Steve Lacy (if u listen to more than just Bad Habit u will find an actuall amazing discography)

Jenny Nuo (i have been OBSESSED w her music since like 2021 ish and it is a crime she hasn't blown up more imo)

Nujabes

Hemlocke Springs (oooo i hate that she does not get more love!!! synth pop and alt indie is such a fun niche like!!!)

Lyn Lapid (in my head she's huge but i have recently learned that artists i think r super popular may be unknown to an entire genre of ppl soo)

Megagonefree (found them on ig and omg!! PLS go check them out genuinely)

boa (i am once again shaming u if u don't know them)

Wallice

JAZZ (in all caps bc I fucking LOVE jazz no it's not dead go listen to jazz rn motherfuckers):

Idris Muhammad

Esperanza Spalding

Joanna Wang (ok she does pop and folk music too but idk she felt most appropriate here)

SAMARA JOY (put. some. respect. on. her. name. i would actually go to war for her i am not kidding. also this is in all caps bc MY MOM GOT TO SEE HER LIVE??? AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE WAS PLS I WAS SO MAD OMGGG but i've been promised tickets next time so we're good)

Sade (my og one and only)

Funk:

Fadoul

George Clinton (i mean he's just a classic yknow)

Parliament (Give Up the Funk can make me dance like no other i swear)

Stevie Wonder (i mean.. like if we're on the topic of classics anyway then...)

Michael Jackson/The Jackson 5 (moreso his earlier stuff if my memory isn't lying to me.. look it's been a second since i listened to mj IM SORRY i am a busy person ok TT)

R&B:

Valerie June

Maxine Nightingale (if u don't listen to her... how do u have fun? actual question i put her on every time i need to feel happy atp)

Boney. M (technically they're reggae but they also count as R&B so idk.. i'm just putting them here if anyone wants me to move them later i will)

Amahla (Ca Suffit was so good and got me to check out the rest of her music, YOU SHOULD TOO!!)

Mary J Blige (not to judge but like... if u don't know THE queen then idk how to help you tbh)

SZA (wouldn't be a list without her in it tbh. i'm in love w her not even joking abt that)

Kali Uchis (to this day i cannot believe i saw her live i'm truly never getting a better moment than that omggg i have such a big crush on her anyway)

Aupinard (if ever u need to just vibe, this is the man u go to.)

Wejdene (TU PARLES AVEC UNE ANISSA MA MOI J'APPELLE WEJDENE- she's been my day 1 since i was like thirteen i can't even lie)

Annisse (just found out she only has like ~500 listeners on spotify??? apparently i'm one of them tho lmao so yeah go get that number up guys i love her too much for this disrespect)

Sister Sledge

Cheryl Lynn

Reggae:

Daddy Yankee (he's an honourable mention cause i couldn't not lmao)

Skindred (they're a reggae/metal fusion band and i will shut up abt them when i'm dead bc Nobody rewired my brain chemistry!!)

Manu Chao

Toquinho (i was so convinced this man was bossa nova but apparently he is reggae and i need to do some music theory review)

Folk:

Sushi Soucy (oh the things I Deserve to Bleed had me going thru in 2020/2021)

Miriam Makeba (Pata Pata should be enough to get anyone listening to her, just saying)

Lead Belly (do urself a favour and do some research on this man, i'm not kidding even if u don't like folk music u should know abt him- ESPECIALLY if u like Nirvana that'll make sense later trust)

Pop:

Corinne Bailey Rae (she has so much good music that gets ignored bc of Put Your Records On so.. yeah go listen to Black Rainbows she's only gotten better as time goes on lol)

Dru (he is for any person who likes ke$ha. i'm so serious he is early 2000s in a bottle and i love his music ur rlly missing out if u ignore him)

Monique Hasbun (found her recently! she's a Palestinian, Mexican and Salvadorian artist who plays around with Latin pop and does a lot of fusion music. she's dope go listen to her fr)

Mohammad Assaf (he made the Palestine song that's been going around ig a lot, but his other stuff is great as well. he's another Palestinian artist, so once again, go check him out!!)

Pinkpanthress (i LOVE her she's so much fun to just vibe to and idk how anyone couldn't have heard of her atp but then again this is the sight that didn't know who drake was so... sigh. go listen to her if u don't already!!)

Aliyah's Interlude (BROOO if u haven't heard of her actually go listen rn i'm so serious she is so good i can'ttttt ok bye)

Veondre (had a collab w Aliyah on It Girl and is gonna be releasing her own music very soon! she's trans too so go give her some love)

Shalco (wasn't sure whether to put him here or in hip hop, but his stuff is very very good either way)

Ado (she's j-pop but it's a form of pop so into the pop category she goes)

Moon (she's got two songs out rn, Moonlight and Seoul City Drift, and both r going on loop in my head at all times)

Jay Chou (call me a basic bitch idc he's good ok)

Atarashii Gakko! (i wouldn't say they're j-pop, but google did, so i'm just going w it lol)

flowerovlove (just trust me on this one)

El Tio Gamboin (Los Gatitos is such a cute song)

Grace Chang (see note for Jay Chou)

King Gnu (for all my j-pop lovers... come get ur man)

Salsa:

Lalo Rodriguez (included this genre specifically so i could mention him)

Adalberto Santiago

Roberto Roena (he's a classic i can't lie)

Hector Lavoe (i think he might be the most popular one in this genre lol)

City Pop (this is its own genre bc i literally did a presentation in high school abt it and i'll be damned if i don't flex my knowledge now):

Mariya Takeuchi

Miki Matsubara (my QUEEN my everything my-)

Anri

Taeko Onuki (one of my most listened to artists last yr for a Reason)

Kaoru Akimoto

Kingo Hamada

Jun Togawa

Bossa Nova:

Joao Gilberto (ooo he gets me every time i fucking love this man)

Elizeth Cardoso

Johnny Alf (forgot this man the first time around my bad BUT he's called the father of bossa nova for a reason so)

Hip Hop:

Flyana Boss (they're sooooo good i actually can't gush enough i have never felt so girlypop listening to music before go listen to them!! found the duo through ig so yeah if u want go follow them on there too to show support)

Lil Uzi Vert (for any emo lovers, go check out his song Werewolf with Bring Me the Horizon it is SO GOOD)

Samyra (she's slowly curing my body dysmorphia lol)

Yame (there's an accent on the e but idk how to do that on tumblr. anyway my ass loves french rap and before him i was stuck with klub des loosers so he saved my faith in the genre i can't even lie)

Lay Bankz (u cannot be chronically online and not have heard Ick yet, but i'm repping her regardless bc SHE'S SO GOOD)

A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie (HEAR ME OUT-)

Kaliii (Area Codes was one of my most listened to songs last year... as it should be tbh)

Miguel (he does R&B too i just first listened to him bc of his collab w J.Cole sooo)

Tyler the Creator (putting him on here just to brag abt getting to see him in concert lmao)

XXXTentacion (he has been mourned and talked abt an insane amount, but he deserves it i'm not even gonna joke on this one. his artistry is insane and he deserves some love if u haven't listened to him yet)

Kendrick Lamar (i mean i've been reblogging stuff abt him enough. Mr. Morale was actually the album that made me start Listening listening to him and i'm honestly glad it was bc that album is still my favourite to this day if i'm being totally honest)

Renaissauce (criminally and i do mean CRIMINALLY underrated)

[cheolaholic]

ring of love; csc (teaser !!)

the ring doesnt always have to be filled with violence.

modern! au • boxer! au • hhu focused • multiple kinds of tropes • fluff, angst, smut

summary; agreeing to join vernon spectate an underground boxing match wasn't how you'd expect to spend your friday night. you also didn't expect to see seungcheol, someone you've lost contact with for years, become a part of the ring.

contains; boxer! seungcheol, part-time barista! reader, gamer! wonu, part-time model! mingyu, rapper! vernon, vocalist! joshua (he appears for an open mic scene), they're all in college so college! au, psychology major! wonwoo, art major! vernon, art major! mingyu, business major! reader, business major! seungcheol, hhu playing cupid and matchmaker, no second lead syndrome drama kinda shit bcs i said so, childhood friends to lovers, seungcheol and reader lost contact somewhere in their teen years, seungcheol is an absolute simp for reader, multiple types of tropes to be found, seungcheol is rich (like absolutely filthy rich), same goes to the rest of the hhu (they don't flaunt it like how you'd expect most rich kids to do, just that occasionally reader would have a moment of realisation where she goes 'right, they have the money for that'), reader and her family aren't as rich but are well off enough to have a comfortable lifestyle (working middle class) there's fluff, some occasional angst

mature themes include; sexual tension, making out, lazily making out, fingering, oral (f&m receiving), dacryphilia, cheol is filthy rich and has a filthy mouth to go along with it, corruption kink, marking kink, unprotected sex (pls wrap it before you tap it), dom! cheol, sub! reader, light bondage, lots of cussing, etc

a/n; yaho~ ik i've been gone for what, 3 years? but, i am back baby! (read in shane/ryan's voice from buzzfeed/watcher) and first fic ofc, i'm dedicating it to my beloved husband, cheol <33 this fic basically proves my permanent residence in delululand lmao 🥴

click here to join the taglist ♡

"you... want me to join your endurance stream?"

a small hum was met with your question as wonwoo took a sip from his can of black monster energy drink. "...but, why..?" you asked, completely confused.

it wasn't as if you didn't like the idea, though you were caught off guard as the only games you've ever played were... well, more catered towards your style of aesthetic. games such as animal crossing, melatonin, a little to the left.

wonwoo's taste in games on the other hand, they were what you'd expect from majority of the male demographic on earth ㅡ FNAF, first person shooter games, he has a huge obsession with chilla's art games (to which you understand why after watching his playthrough of 'the closing shift' and 'night delivery').

the usual horror, thriller and action genre is what you're getting at.

"reason number one, you're pretty. and no, i'm not trying to hit on you," he then proceeded to raise his hand as if he was taking an oath, "i swear i'm not. i meant it as in, who wouldn't want to watch a pretty girl play games? i know your preferred genre of games and mine are two different worlds but, i'm sure we can compromise."

wonwoo surveys both your surroundings, seemingly to check whether the coast was clear; before propping his arms onto the coffee table and leaning forward.

"reason number two being if you join, i'll be able to get seungcheol to join too."

"so, you're getting me to join so you can get cheol to join?" placing a hand over your chest, you faked betrayal, "i feel so hurt that you're only using me as bait, woo."

"hey, i also want you to join, okay?"

taking a sip from your milkshake, you stared at wonwoo, urging him to continue his explanation.

"___, please. i even had the whole process of the endurance stream planned out! i just need seungcheol hyung to say yes, and you're the key to getting him to say yes!"

"woo, you're friends, of course he'll agree! i don't understand how i play a role in this. i'm sure bantering with mingyu, or even trying a 'no cuss' bet with vernon would be enough to get him to say yes."

shaking his head while sighing, he muttered out a "it's not that simple..."

"woo, i seriously don't get it."

"___, i'm going to be extremely honest, okay?"

you shoot the male sitting front of you a confused look, which prompted him to take a sip of his drink.

"this isn't the first time i've done an endurance stream, i'm sure you know that too. and i'm sure you've seen seungcheol join them but, not all the time. you'll notice it's usually gyu or vernon with me and chat's pretty much made it an inside joke that hyung's a rare pokemon sighting on my streams."

you let out a small laugh at seungcheol being called a rare pokemon sighting, which makes wonwoo smile.

"and, as of late, i've noticed that whenever we hung out, seungcheol would be there too. regardless if he had a match the previous night and his entire body is sore."

"but... we're friends, no? why wouldn't he be there?"

"okay, allow me to rephrase that sentence."

"mmm?"

"seungcheol hyung will only say yes if you're there too."

you're mouth opened slightly, shocked and confused. as you tried to process wonwoo's sentence, he added on.

"and this is just my assumption based on what i've observed from the day vernon introduced you up to now."

"you sound like a psychiatrist, woo..."

"i am a psychology student, no?"

"touché. and what have you concluded from your observation, mr jeon?"

"i think seungcheol likes you."

[wordy-little-witch]

Hiiiii and also KDKSJXJSJXJSKZKX- baby post was something i never knew i needed dosjdjsx pls i need more headcanons abt bby Bronwyn D. Crown

Im laughing cuz buggy litrally just cloned himself cuz i was wondering whose paternal genes will the bby take after but then its a mini fem buggy lmao

Also the cross guilds reaction to the baby is so cute esp daz aaaaa ofcours the man who used to dream being a superhero is soft inside

And both croc n mihawk fainting dksjdisod

Plsss i need to know wat theyre and crossguild is like when taking care of the baby djsjjsdjsj pls let her be super smart like her dads aaaa

The domesticity is ❤️

So honestly while Winni le DOES definitely take after Buggy the most, she's not quite a CLONE per se. Her hair is a dark, almost black, blue, and her nose is a little less RED red and more pink-red. Everything else though? Carbon copy from birth.

As far as genes go, they never really push for the testing bc it's redundant, though Croc is almost positive it's Mihawk - while he did fully head to toe transition via Iva, the likelihood of it being him is really really infintisimally slim. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter, really. Winnie is their baby and they all love her to pieces.

Daz absolutely is her biggest fan, barring her parents and in a literal sense. He's wrapped around her little finger and as she grows, she KNOWS it. He'll play with her, and if anyone laughs or makes a remark, he can and will stare into their soul while unflinchingly stating he is simply doing his duties to the highest degree - what are they doing with this doubtless free time? He has some recommendations-

Tbf though the number of people who would laugh about it leave fairly quickly, leaving a veritable LEGION of men, women and others who are ready to ride or die for this kid.

You know those tiktok videos of animals meeting the new baby for the first time? That with Ritchie. That would be so cute. So silly. Just. Ritchie being a big baby and just all worship eyes at this new baby because '!!!!! Small human!!!!! Like cap!!!!!! Weird smell!!!!!!! Must lick!!!!!!!'.

He keeps sneaking into her nursery to lay beside the crib or just snuffle her in her sleep. They wind up setting traps. He keeps evading them. Nobody can figure out how. Mihawk proposes that he's simply so No Thoughts Head Empty that he evades the traps on pure luck and ditzy fortune.

Alvida is definitely searching high and low for "my awesome aunt got me this-" type of things, then getting matching outfits, baby sunglasses, etc, just READY for dress up and lil self care. She's also the type to carry on full conversations with Winnie as a baby without baby talk. Just meeting babbles with "girl, he said WHAT? No, hold up, tell auntie everything-" or "baby girl, you will not believe what tea I got today-"

Cabaji dreams of teaching her to ride her first unicycle. Will settle for rollerblades. Very protective, but also liable to lose the baby somehow in a market and then explode.

Mohji shares his love for animals with her and is so smug when Winnie grows up and continues on with a constant love and adoration for animals.

Galdino gets her into art, and she continues on with that, even on well into her adult years.

As for intelligence, she definitely winds up as smart as her parents - she goes on to study zoology and animal psychology, becoming a veterinarian and then later revamping the entirety of the veterinary science field in the Grandline, then later in some of the other Seas.

She also works with her parents' business as well tbf, though she focuses more on the vigilante side of it - popping amoral smugglers, sinking slavers, the works. She also may or may not have planted a few bombs in some marine bases when she went to do the animal checks for the base, depending on their history, regard, and the state of their animals. She's got her own moral compass, one which she follows like her own northern star.

All in all, there's a lot of domestic silliness that Winnie brings about.

[dearestsilhouette]

Hey hey! [Intro post number. I don’t even know at this point lmao]

Hihi! The name’s uh. many things, but I mostly go by Silhouette, Koi or Star(dust(ed))! You can see more things (which includes pronouns, other names / nicknames, honorifics and more) here if you want. Not required, but it’d be appreciated if you at least checked it out!

/\/\/\☆/\/\/\

I do NOT accept donation / advertisement asks. I am very, very much afraid of answering an ask and it being scam. Now, I’ll never straight up block you for sending asks unless you’re doing it repetitively and purposefully, I’ll just remove the ask and leave it be, but just keep this in mind.

/\/\/\☆/\/\/\

To get it over with quick, here’s a DNI, Thin Ice and BYI list.

DNI: - If you’re on any basic DNI list - If your blog is 18+, NSFW / NSFT, minors DNI, etc - If your blog is centered around any kind of discourse - If you enforce or heavily pressure your religion onto others - If you actively support something or someone that is inherently wrong - If you support AI art - If I blocked you (I blocked you for a reason. <3) - Selfcest shippers (Selfcest makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable.) [Note that this may change overtime, and that I do NOT support Blushcrunch (Creators of Dandy’s World) or Groink (Creator of AIB) for their actions. I simply like what they have created and interact with content made by other fans.]

THIN ICE: - If you ship mirrormystery / Rodger x Glisten (I personally hc them as siblings and dislike this ship heavily. I don’t care if you do ship it, just don’t bring it up around me, please.) - If you ship host x contestant (It generally makes me uncomfy for some reason I can’t describe well. I don’t mind if you ship anything of the sort as long as it ain’t problematic, just don’t bring it up to me pls.) [This may be updated in the future. This is all I have for now.]

BYI / NOTES: - I am a minor! This is extremely important. Don’t be weird or you’re getting blocked, especially if you’re an adult. - I most likely have anger / emotional issues and I can get extremely emotional and pissed off pretty quick. I’m sorry if I cause anything bad to happen because my emotions are extremely chaotic and basically control how I act n stuff. - I am a huuuge mess, and a ping pong ball is constantly bouncing around in my brain - I probably have adhd, more specifically hyperactive impulsive adhd. I am not diagnosed (though I really want to get diagnosed), but I have done a decent amount of research to assume this, so please keep that in mind. - Tone tags are essentially my life support. Please use them or some other indicator for tone, since I can’t understand it unless it’s very blatantly being shoved in my face. - Anything I hyperfixate on something, you’re 100% going to notice by my reblogs. I will flood your page lol - I will like and mass reblog posts a lot!! If you don’t like this, please let me know. - At times, I will randomly condense my speech. If you can’t understand, I’ll fix that! - I refer to characters I really like or relate to a lot as “me”, especially Pitchfork from AIB and Razzle and Dazzle from Dandy’s World. If you ever have a problem with this, PLEASE let me know. I myself am not a fictionkin, fictive or anything of the sort, so if this ever becomes a problem to you I’ll change it asap. - I can’t read things right sometimes. Be patient with me I’ll get it eventually lmao

/\/\/\☆/\/\/\

I use my own personal tags when making posts every once in a while! These tags will be listed below.

-.River’s shenanigans (Kind of a shitposting tag. Basically just dumb or silly things I post.) - River’s art (My art tag! NOT TO BE USED BY AI.) - River’s ask responses (My responses to things I get in my inbox!) - River’s thoughts (Kind of a vent tag atp, originally and sometimes used as a marker to indicate that I’m posting about things on my mind. Not used often.) - River’s writing (My writing! Read TWs on posts if needed.)

/\/\/\☆/\/\/\

Fandoms, interests and hyperfixations! I’m in quite a few communities in the moment. Some of these are:

-.Object shows (more specifically AIB) - Dandy’s World - Just Shapes n Beats - The Pink Corruption (I consider them two different things. If you don’t like this, don’t fight me over it; just DNI and move on, please.) - Pikuniku (Is there even a Pikuniku fandom-?) - Bugbo - Sprunki - Pressure - Blocktales - The Robloxia: Until Dawn

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Lastly, here’s a few funky lil userboxes. Thank you for reading! [Credits to the userboxes in order: 1 (me!), 2, 3, 4, 5, 6]

/\/\/\☆/\/\/\

Preferably like / interact with this post if you’ve read it, but I’m not forcin ya.

[xolaanii]

OPEN COMMISSIONS!

Like you can probably see on the slides I no longer have a scholarship for several stupid university sanctioned reasons, one of them being my age and the number of family members in my house having gone down 1 person (by all means you'd think this would obviously be worse financially but oh well lmao). However all I'm missing is the money for my last 3 months of my master's + some help for my mom's meds (this is one hell of a long story i know i won't even go into details dcbds) so what I hoped I'd be able to do was this to see if it helps some.

INFO

at the moment i will only do ocs (one at a time), no furries or mecha. i can however do fantasy races like elves, orcs and that whole shebang. will also draw animals, environments and non realistic styles as well.

no explicit stuff pls and not because i'm against it it's just that skin takes longer to shade than clothes for me (stupid i know dbdvbhk when i finish my thesis i might go there)

payment up front preferably through ko-fi but we can do paypal too

ko-fi: ko-fi.com/vorskra

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED

please simply dm me on this here blog and tell me exactly what kind of commission you are interested in

include detailed description and some references like your own art, other art, picture refs, picrew, etc

i will then decided if you've gotten the slot and we will answer back and we can work out all the details in full through these dms

i will only have 3 slots at a time but if there is a more interested than expected i will be adding people to a waiting list for later contact

once i start to work i can take up to a month or so due to being pretty busy with my master's thesis and soon my graduation from said masters

only pay when you get the slot

IT'S FINISHED NOW WHAT

post it to your hearts content, use it for icons, banners or hide it away in a deep dark cave where even gollum can't find it. please just do not for some reason resell it or take credit for it.

THANK YOU

thank you so much for your time if you checked out this post, i'd really appreciate any and all help you can give including a simple boost of this post! For payments or if someone just wants to help my ko-fi is right here. Thank you so, so much again ily xoxo

[heyassbuttlmao]

I posted 4,352 times in 2022

That's 4,352 more posts than 2021!

159 posts created (4%)

4,193 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@castielsupernatural

@ginwicche

@obsessionofspn

@altarofrowena

@bitingmp3

I tagged 1,221 of my posts in 2022

#art <3 - 223 posts

#spn - 77 posts

#supernatural - 75 posts

#the boys - 65 posts

#my faves &lt;3 - 57 posts

#the boys spoilers - 39 posts

#destiel - 23 posts

#ow - 23 posts

#dean winchester - 20 posts

#castiel - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#are no different than the characters they portray as mentally ill™️ because no that's different our characters just have daddy issues and

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

fic masterlist

I only ever post my fics on ao3, because it's where I read fanfic, but I figured I should at least link them here, so viola, have a post about my spn fanfic I've written (I'm not bothering to link all the stucky I write here because I do not think y'all care, but that is on my ao3 too if you want to check it out)

yes all my fic titles are song lyrics shut up

hand me a pen and I'll rewrite the pain - complete, 37k

domestic destiel fluff, but also mostly family angst lmao. instead of bringing just mary back, amara also brings back john, and dean has to grapple with the fact that oh shit he was actually a very shitty father. (also she brings back bobby and charlie because I say so)

i'll take my chances on the curb here with you - oneshot, 1.8k

finale fix-it. aka the finale didn't happen and they get cas back. aka post-confession destiel reunion + first kiss

i've got this sentimental heart that beats - oneshot, 4.5k

outsider pov about one of sam's friends from stanford running into him years later. mostly just fluff and me getting overly invested in this oc by accident

running through the numbers in my phone - oneshot, 700 words

sequel/companion to i've got this sentimental heart that beats. literally just sam's other friends from stanford spamming his phone after getting his number from the oc from the last fic. because I could

show me the rivers crossed, the mountains scaled - oneshot, 2.5k

first spn fic I wrote, was supposed to be a destiel fic but cas isn't even in it whoops. (destiel is still the ship but like,,,, only mentioned ghdgghsd). anyways what this actually ended up being was sam and dean running into each other at a gay bar and awkwardly coming out to each other as bi (I'm not even necessarily a queer sam truther so I have no fucking clue where this fic came from lmao)

33 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

#4

also also ALSO thinking. thinking. cas fucking letting go, pushing dean away from him, in purgatory. making sure dean saves himself but not letting him save him. and dean fucking convincing himself he was the one who let go, not cas, because that was easier. it just makes me wonder what dean told himself after cas pushed him away in 15x18, to make it easier than admitting to himself that cas loved him so much he would die for it

45 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

#3

my suggested posts rn are SO funny and also so valid

See the full post

53 notes - Posted July 5, 2022

#2

ngl but I don't get why so much attention is being placed on whether AI art is "real art" or not instead of??? the fact that it's using stolen art?? like that feels like the actual problem here for me???

71 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT HAPPENED WHAT DID I MISS IM FUCKING BUSY I CANT INVESTIGATE WHAT HAPPENED WITH DESTIEL RN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED PLS I AM BEGGING

84 notes - Posted September 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[yukiteruakari]

This whole chain of reblogs is reminding me of my dislike for Makoto. I seriously do not like Makoto as a character. I feel like he had a lot of potential, but for most of the time, his actions rub me in the wrong way. For being the beacon of hope, he sure does give me a lot of despair. People always bring up how he said, "It's not Leon or Sayaka's fault but Monokuma's fault!!! 🤓☝️" to show that he cares about Leon too, but that's just not true, is it. The game "allegedly" wants us to put Leon and Sayaka on the same level, without even letting us hear Leon first. If Makoto did indeed care about Leon and saw him as a victim like he literally claimed to do so, 11037 would be about him as well. He would've mourned his death, too. He would've tried to understand him and not think about Sayaka 24/7. Those two were literally in the same situation (being taken advantage of by Sayaka), and Leon's was WAY WORSE than Makoto's. "Aww, how could've Sayaka want to frame me? 🥺🥺" mf she tried to KILL LEON. Yet he just doesn't even... try to emphasize with him? Even Byakuya did more than you since he said Leon's "murder" was an act of passion (like Mondo's) and not a cold-hearted one. (Just his opinion tho, the manga clears) This guy, being the protagonist, is kind of the reason why Leon gets hate tbh. If Hajime was the protagonist, my man would've been TREATED👏WELL👏 Did you see the official art of them being buddies? Yeah, let's give Kazuichi to Makoto and Leon to Hajime pls pls pls.... let them be bros... they're both very "no-nonsense" and cool characters. It's kind of a reason why Hajime is my favourite protag. I had a theory about how Hajime might've been Leon's very early version (Kodaka said he used to resemble a protag before they changed him)

I would've liked him if Makoto was given some actual flaws but his only flaw is being "too naive" which isn't even a real flaw what the fuck?? I would've liked it so much if Sayaka and Leon survived and became the best friends of Makoto (no Naezono here cuz it was written for some shock value and has no narrative potential other than that tbh, those two share NO themes) and Makoto would get his optimism like that... since in the game, Makoto's optimism kinda comes out of nowhere. I wrote something like that here if you want to check it out. For a self insert character, he is incredibly unrealistic. All Hail Hajimemes

People who see Mondo like that genuinely have zero media literacy. I can't think of a reason why Mondo would be hated tbh. Chihiro is a good character (not really. He is a mesh of some tropes), but he is so overrated and, like Makoto, has no negative flaws. Chihiro is also another character that I don't see surviving the game tbh.

Other than that, Kiyondo is so fucking lame. Extremely lame. What even is that. What. Ew. I get that Danganronpa is a wacky game, but my god. I seriously can't stand the writing sometimes. Kiyondo isn't even badass like Mondo, he's just pathetic.

All the blackeneds in THH are somewhat weird (talking about the first 3) because they all look like they'd totally kill someone? Leon, Mondo, and Celeste. It's just very weird. This is supposed to be a murder mystery game, right? Now that I think about it, maybe Leon's appearance is the reason why people think he was cold-blooded? Evil of some sorts? Don't you just look at those three without knowing about the game and say "they'd definitely kill." Except Leon's just a wannabe and is actually the dorkiest person ever. Does Danganronpa hate its rebel characters or something? Because it's always the uptight ones that get the spotlight. Boring.

Like I said, Celeste being the killer is predictable and boring. She would've been way better as the victim. I could see it from a mile away and I'm pretty sure everyone did. Hey Danganronpa what happened to subverting expectations lmao

Tbh I don't think Sayaka is underrated at all. She has pretty big numbers on pixiv and has rabid fans who are extremely fucking scary. They also ship Naezono which is kinda lame because why would you like a ship where your favourite character is used as a shock value and a stepping stone for the protag's character development lmao

Anyway Makoto Naenae u suck. Don't even get me started on the "Makoto Harem"... ew...

Danganronpa Manga Rant- Leon and Sayaka:

@yukiteruakari told me about a Danganronpa Manga edition, and OH MY GOD!!! Thankyou so much for this bro omg.

I'm only up to "Junkos" impaling, but it's so much better than the one I have.

I'll put some screenshots below, and the link too because so far it's translated to English.

Why the Manga is better, what it could do for the fandom:

It gives Sayaka and Leon so much more development as characters and seeing as Mondos case is next we might get to see what they talked about in the sauna. (<- there are so many fan theories for that one, and I'm excited to finally get more lore.)

It's hard to be a Danganronpa fan in 2024 because it all happened 14, 12, and 7 years ago. So like... Spike aren't going to just start explaining more lore on twitter randomly because they feel like it, Danganronpa is done, but this manga helps us understand the killers motive.

If ALL of the fandom read it I'd probably assume the "Mondo Brother Killer >:(" cliche that some of the fandom define him as would be gone, because it has his POV instead of a Monokuma flashback and a shitty animated clip of him doing it "for no reason" other than being "strong-strong-strong-strong-strong" (from the canon game and animation 2014.)

LeoXSaya Rant, Manga>>>Animation:

And yes, Sayaka was revealed to be a bit more of a "snake" (she isn't btw) but her motives were humane and we only thought she wasn't because Makoto is the protagonist and wouldn't think bad about any of his friends.

It also gives Leon haters a reason to stfu and enjoy his character design and small role while it lasts, and it's better than playing his FTEs because he's just gloating about picking up chicks and being better than everybody at Baseball despite hating in from what I've seen.

Also, the art is just BETTER.

The dialogue is just BETTER!

They gave Sayaka a reason to invite Leon over. Because in the anime and game yes it's "wow Sayaka is so hot" on Leons part, but wouldn't that mean Leon would've been the person to invite her to HIS room instead?

But in the Manga they explain her thought process, anybody who hasn't read it will probably just go "Sayaka's dumb for inviting a STAR ATHLETE to try and kill!" but she's smart because if she had killed him she already had an alibi. "We were friends! We bonded over music and drank tea together!" or something... saying that, Sayaka couldn't WIN because Makoto knew about the room swapping ofc. And she'd leave evidence and whatnot.

*Sighs* The Animation Butchered Our Boys...:

(BOYS BECAUSE THE ANIMATION BUTCHERED SO MANY CHARACTERS AND GAVE THEM PISSY MOTIVES AND SHIT-)

I hate the anime alot, but the thing that PISSED ME OFF THE MOST (about 1-1 of the animation) WAS LEON'S REACTION. He was having a mental breakdown, which was fine and accurate... probably good as well instead of him screaming "stupid" then losing it halfway through the word and realising his fate quietly.

They give him a moment of remorse.

"I didn't want to... I mean she... she was tring to... kill me... right? I just... didn't know what else to do... okay...?" (quote end)

but then he gets mad.

I don't know about you, but on first watch this ruined it for me. "He's just screaming now..." like... it makes me mad for almost no reason.

He was about to have a very humane moment of "I didn't have a choice..." he's looking down at the pedestal thingy in the court, he's defeated, he's sad, he's been caught. He's in despair.

Then he yells at the others "you would've done the same thing in my shoes!"

And you know what the writers did instead of making him cry after that? Anything... would've been better, but this is the dam animation we're talking about...

"I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE OKAY! THE CRAZY SKANK WAS GOING TO KILL ME, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!"

He did have a choice...

The manga gave him a choice, he tried to save Sayaka. Then he ended up killing her, ON ACCIDENT. That line alone contradicts the fact of any of that happening, he and Sayaka had just bonded hours earlier.

Like, this is my opinion and I've never heard anybody talk about this before, BUT THE WRITERS NEEDED TO WRITE LEON BETTER!!! The game wrote Leon fine, but the animation was a second chance at giving him development!

I liked him trying to escape the court room though. That was a nice touch that I don't think was in the game.

BUT BROOOOO HE CALLED SAYAKA A SKANK HOURS AFTER ADMITTING HE WAS CRUSHING ON HER, DANGANRONPA ANIMATION WHERE'S THE LOGIC!

Like, the scene made me so mad on re-watch and I can't pinpoint why!

Like instead of this: https://youtu.be/CbQ6McYz7U0?t=59

(Good animation though imo, the closeup expressed his emotions nicely-)

HAVE THIS THOUGH, THIS IS SO MUCH BETTER!

IT JUST HITS WAY BETTER-

Anyway, that's my rant of the day because why not.

The game itself had issues, but compared to the animation it was just so much better, and makes me want to give it a 7/10 instead of a 6...

[tracer85s]

yizhan fic rec (2)

part 1

glute bridges by sunstainedsheets

[explicit, 29k, complete]

personal trainer and dancer yibo and graphic designer xiao zhan. GYM AU omg i love this. xiao zhan signs up for a gym membership and personal training sessions where he’s totally not ogling his coach. there’s also a scene with xiao zhan attempting to converse with yibo in korean that got me cackling lmao, our resident koreaboo indeed. it was also great to see mentor yibo here, it reminded me of his prod 101 days when he was so intimidating as a mentor, also... very sexy. anyway i adore this, they’re just thirsting over each other, especially yibo checking out the zhass, it’s okay bobo we’ve all been there

i’d wear gucci for you by Anonymous

[teen and up, 16k, complete]

abo au where alpha yibo and omega xiao zhan are photographed going into xiao zhan’s apartment together so they’re forced to pretend that they’re mated to prevent a scandal. this has become my favourite fics because i’m an absolute sucker for fake/pretend relationships and the way the writer incorporated canon stuff like yibo answering interview questions for xiao zhan ugh guys i love this fic. when yibo was so exasperated near the end and said “i’m wearing gucci for you” & waving his hand i really lost it. JUST READ THIS I PROMISE IT’S A GOOD READ

if you would only let you by gdgdbaby

[explicit, 32k, complete]

ah where do i even start with this one? xiao zhan gets drunk and texts yibo, yibo shows up at his house and whisks him away on a road trip. i felt so much emotions reading this fic, everything was so raw and it really deals with the pressures of being famous and homophobia. this is a super realistic fic and there’s a lot of emotional hurt/comfort, you’ll literally end up wanting to wrap these two in a big blanket and just protect them from the world (lol like we don’t already want to do that). my absolute favourite part was the confession scene, like it was so messy and funny, and it’s just so them, especially the pokemon part lmao. this art is based on that scene and it’s exactly how i imagined it 🥺 this is just so well written and it’s one of my favs!

love in the time of coding by theivoryflute

[explicit, 26k, complete]

hacker yibo and cyber security engineer xiao zhan. yibo cyber flirts with xiao zhan and also flirts with him in real life. *SCREAMS* i never thought we’d have a hacker au in the fandom but i’ve been blessed, this was literally the cutest online romance fic with a bunch of mutual pining. my favourite dialogue is “the whiplash from wanting to ride yibo to wanting to coddle him was severe” i’m literally wheezing, this is a perfect representation of the fandom, also the usernames that yibo picked got me cackling there’s one in particular that made me laugh, you’ll know what it is when you see it so go read this gem!

Peace & Love by ella_minnow

[explicit, 51k, complete]

my favourite writer is back again with this baby! idol dance captain xiao zhan and non-famous dancer yibo!!! ARE WE KIDDING? slow burn sdoc au? I’M SO IN WTF. guys listen to me. yibo has a low ponytail and arm tattoos *goes feral* one of my favourite scenes from this fic is when xiao zhan had to convince yibo to join his team (bro. he didn’t even have to try) because yibo says “no, Xiao-laoshi. I would of course never leave you.” i’m screeching, totally gave me tgcf hua cheng vibes. my absolute favourite scene, however, is when yibo says xiao zhan doesn’t have to worry about sending him home because he’s going to win everything... like... the sheer bde this man exudes in real life and fiction... very sexy of him. i also love how this showcases how well they work together and of course the *whispers* celebratory sex!

Hyacinth by stickyriceu

[explicit, 76k, complete]

racer yibo celebrates after a competition and meets hyacinth’s number one host, zhan-er. slow burn with LOTS of pining and angst. i finished this in one sitting and i’m still screaming over it, it’s so good!!! genuinely felt my soul leave my body reading this because zhan zhan with shoulder length hair? tied up in a messy bun? *SCREECHES* everyone go read and get your angst on, don’t worry, there’s a happy ending ;)

Song of the Sea by LaMachina17

[explicit, 48k, complete]

mermaid xiao zhan and pirate yibo !!! xiao zhan meets yibo and has one very exciting night with him so he ends up following him aboard their pirate ship! i’m literally on my knees praising this fic. i will re-read this until i die, it’s perfect. AND THEY’RE CAT DADS IN THIS FIC TOO. seriously i don’t need to say anything else go read this gem

The Dragons by MadFilaments

[explicit, 31k, complete]

xiao zhan is his village’s marriage offering to dragon lord yibo. are you kidding me? shapeshifter yibo? arranged marriage fic? YES. this is one of my favourites, i always re-read it because the way their relationship just naturally progresses in the story warms my heart 😩 AND they call each other husband and i just *melts* they’re ! so ! domestic ! there’s angst but it’s not too bad and i’m in love with yibo’s speech about how dragons love forever *cries*

golden hour by Deinde

[explicit, 35k, complete]

professional snowboarder yibo teaches actor xiao zhan how to snowboard in a show! OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO GOOD *SCREAMS* it’s literally just them flirting and being absolutely thirsty for each other, especially in the photoshoot scene dear lord. i’m so annoying, this fic tab has been open in my safari for forever and i forgot about it until i watched ddu’s snow sports episode so don’t do the same thing as me and go! read! this! fic! immediately!

Falling In Love by beeswaxing

[mature, 65k, complete]

celebrities yibo and xiao zhan star in a we got married/hello baby inspired reality show! oh my god. the domestic fluff in this i am reeling, THIS IS JUST ADORABLE. this is definitely the domestic kid fic i so desperately needed 😭 and the way the writer added in those canon bjyx details is just perfect, everyone go read this please!!

Legend of the Jade Rabbit: The Musical by emma_screams

[explicit, 12k, complete]

high school au with lion hybrid yibo and bunny hybrid xiao zhan. this fic has musicals! it’s really quite fluffy, yibo literally calls zhan zhan “bunny gege” and i’m just *SCREECHING* also i love protective yibo 😭 i really love this it’s so cute & has a very refreshing plot!

pick me, pick me up by domeeneec

[mature, 10k, complete]

college/uni wrong number au where xiao zhan keeps accidentally calling yibo to bail him out of his bad dates and yibo ends up becoming his “personal dating assistant” this was the FLUFFIEST. although there is some light angst when xiao zhan drunk dials yibo and cries about not being able to find love, but i swear this is super soft and fluffy!!! READ THIS FOR SEROTONIN

Ruby and Gold by aces_low

[explicit, 16k, complete]

mob boss xiao zhan and his trophy husband yibo. HELLO? MURD3R HUSBANDS YIZHAN? this was such a fun read! trigger warnings for blood and violence though so look out for those! yizhan will literally not hesitate to beat you tf up in this fic they’re so badass here but they’re so soft with each other. xiao zhan literally calls yibo gǒu zǎizǎi and tiánxīn i am. Melting. also there’s a proposal. it’s unromantic but still so romantic, i love it. i also saw this art and i think this would be how they look in the fic

To Be Human by purplemonster

[teen and up, 19k, complete]

humanoid yibo and ceo xiao zhan. xiao zhan tests out his company’s newest creation and falls in love along the way. android aus always hurt me so. good. and this one’s not an exception. it’s pretty slow burn and definitely angst-y but it has a happy ending! i love the domesticity, i have no idea why i love grocery scenes so much? but anyway this is perfect for a rainy day and you’ll coo at the ending

Falling by brooklinegirl

[explicit, 42k, complete]

yb and xz behind the scenes while filming. this was such a melancholic read for me (even though there’s so much papapa) because they pine SO HARD at the start, don’t get me wrong though, it’s also cute because there’s so much canon flirting!but my heart really broke when filming was ending and yb’s thoughts were “We could run away together. Miss our flights. Stay here in Hengdian, or fuck it, go somewhere where no one knows us and just...” *sobs* pls go read!!!

What’s Your Emergency? by bluefloral

[general, 2k, complete]

police officer yibo and single father xiao zhan! yuan, xiao zhan’s son calls 911 for help with his math homework and officer yibo helps him 🥺 this was such an adorable short read!

[washymylifeaway]

Haikyuu fanfic recs but they’re funny (to me LOL)

I made an angst pt 2 fic list (which is linked here), but while I was making it I thought screw this sad stuff. Time to make a meme post. So here are some fics that made me bust a lung (or something along the lines of that). Yeah some most of these are cp, but go read them again idc, they’re funny and that’s that. My sense of humor is a tad bit broken, so keep that in mind as you read these (cause if you don’t think they’re funny, you’re probably right but stupid things make me laugh hehe). Don’t judge me too hard LOL. Also some of these are more fluff or whatever just take it ahahahaha.

As per usual, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for each fic before reading (just to be safe cause they curse a lot LOL) and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

CP:

The SakuAtsu meme drabble fic CAUSE IT’S FUNNY /SakuAtsu/ it’s literal art. The creativity and skill that went into this,,, PLEASE if anything, just speed read it. I LOVE IT SO MUCH AHAHAHA.

Add New Contact by booksong (G) 8.5k /DaiSuga/ this one! It’s so cute and poor Daichi LOL. He really out here doing the most,,, Anyway, we love tech Suga, and a nice dash of snarky tsukki (LOL is he salt, yes yes he is). It’s very fluff and pine, so if you want to read Daichi having gay panic like 24/7, go right ahead LOL. 

Camellias by kiyala (T) 1.9k /KyouHaba/ I really love magic and their interactions are so cute and the PLANTS ARE DOING THE MOST. Pls read both in the series, cause domestic KyouHaba is best KyouHaba ngl LOL. I love the plants, and if you read the second one, someone tell the trees to stop bullying Yahaba.

This gets annoying fast, Makki by Ink_stained_quills (G) 2.3k /MatsuHana/ IM IN LOVE WITH THIS SERIES PLS I COULD NOT STOP CRYING TEARS OF LAUGHTER. This AU needs more fics PLEASE. It was SO freakin’ funny and the other teams KILLED ME. Like how they all approached the problem differently and how some of them (KUROO) asked for help LOL. Please this is so freaking funny go read it.

Sixth Time's the Charm by tsumekakusu (T) 2k /KyouHaba/ ok THIS was SO FREAKING funny, please Yahaba how dumb can you get LOL. The number thing made me facepalm so hard, but the ending was cute and that’s all that matters, right?

rated m for by orphan_account (T) 10.7k /MatsuHana/ I love this fic it made me laugh so much throughout the whole thing! The vibes in this fic are immaculate and give me life (we love a good reunion with mystery writers) please, it really is SO good!

Sleep by GangstaCrow (T) 5.5k /KyouHaba/ the plot twist.... omg.... I had to pause and take a moment of silence for the people suffering because of LL... Poor Kyoutani.....

The One With The Spies by hangoverhater /Multi (but mainly IwaOi)/ PLEASE,,, the fics in this series? HILARIOUS. THE SECOND FIC ”Well, this is a nice change of scenery.” “It’s a prison cell.” “I was being sarcastic.” HAD ME DYING. Poor Daichi, he really needs those days off :)))))

smiles like yours are hard to come by by bonnia (T) 1.9 /KuroKen/ I was so akjfkajsdnf this entire fic PLEASE the lines he used omfg. They’re such classics but I still reacted to each one WITH PASSION LFMAKJNAKNKA. This is such a keyboard smash fic (hence the keyboard smash) because I kept being like THE FLUFF IS TOO MUCH, but is it ever really enough? (dang am I a poet LMAO).

New:

take me to the limit, hold me down there by volchitsae (E) 3.8k /SakuAtsu/ I ADORE THIS FIC. LOVE LOVE LOVE it and the rate my teacher comments? HILARIOUS. It’s only explicit at the very end (cause of some ~spice~), so if you don’t want to read it cause it’s E, just don’t finish it (JK LOL BE SAFE).

THE WIENER SOLDIERS by damianwayne (T) 46.7k /MULTI/ literally it’s a texting fic. THESE ARE SO FUNNY. I really liked this one, and it made me laugh regularly. I love the Yahaba vs Shirabu agenda, and it’s just really chaotic so maybe that’s why I think it’s so funny LOL.

behavioural response of the msby black jackal to newfound independence: a study by miya osamu by spacedhowell (T) 11.4k /a mess/ THE WAY I CALLED IT. JFJKADKLAJHDFA this one is so funny and it just escalates. The situation just kept getting worse and I just kept laughing. This was just so chaotic, I loved it LOL.

a little bit funny, this feeling inside by postcanons (G) 5.4k /KyouHaba but also a mess LOL/ PLEASE THIS ONE omg crow matchmaker ftw. Like I said, I really love magic and this one is just so freaking funny. Also, very informational curtesy of one Kyoutani Kentarou.

bet on it by selenophim (T) 13.3k /SakuAtsu/ this is just one long drawn out joke and I love it. It’s so funny how NO ONE really expected it (and some betrayal by one Miya Osamu), and it’s just some comedic genius!!!

Clipped To You by littleboat (T) 8.1k /SakuAtsu/ okay first of all THERE’S ART, second I love Omi in hair clips <3333 It’s really funny with lots of ~pining~ Atsumu and there’s cameo’s of other players,,, it’s just a great time :D

meet me at the fucking pit (and let me hold your hand) by anyadisee (T) 5.4k /KyouHaba/ IF THE TITLE ISN’T MAKING YOU LAUGH ALREADY WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING????? (JK but am I really?) This was SO funny and it KILLED me,,, like all the conspiracies and how everyone was so seriously invested in it. Yes, CHAOS.

call me maybe by totooru (T) 33.6k /MatsuHana/ okay yea another (semi) chat fic,,, fight me. MatsuHana are just funny in general but throw some other characters (like Kuroo) into it and it turns into a comedy show. But the main point of this fic was like the near miss meetings and I think that the misunderstanding were hilarious (as much as I hate misunderstandings LOL).

This is it FOR NOW ;) If you want more, send an ask,,, I have more LOL. Also sorry for the sheer number of CP’s I did from my other posts teehee,,,, I was lazy okay? If you read my angst fic lists, read this to offset the sad. You need to,,,, a must not an option! Also, ignore the way I lean towards more of some ships than the others,,, fic writers just tend to make some ships funnier than the rest :’))))

[wonwooridul]

check in tag ✅

Tagged by @sangyus , @dongkwan , @miingyu , @cheolgyu , @ohoshi , @24hoursofdaisy , @haniehae , @vernons , @xuboowoo , @sannie-hannie , @seungkwns 🥰🥰🥰

why did you choose your url?

there wasn’t any specific reason but it’s like shua-way, which sounds cute + yes I’ll choose shua’s way lmao

do you have any sideblogs?

I do have a sideblog for kbands @nflyingwe and the other two hourly blogs that I co-run!

how long have you been on Tumblr?

a year + a few days lol

do you have a queue tag?

I do but I don’t use it lol. It’s run to queue after “run to you”

why did you start the blog in the first place?

to keep up on svt content plus I always wanted to get into gfx and gifs so I just gave it a go when my bestfriend supported and I took a break from painting cause the block was getting too much.

why did you choose this pfp?

cause I love woozi and his nootnoot agenda. pls hes so fucking adorable with it I’m gonna sob and kith him

why did you choose your header?

being an ot13, I just went with what photo of any SVT member went with the colour palette i had in mind. bestie Carrie made it for me when I rebranded my blog, only trusting @art-hao with it cause hello? queen is amazing at what she does.

what’s your post with most notes?

For SVT, for some reason this one when I didn’t even bother to colour the gifs. And for my man Jackson Wang, this one

how many mutuals do you have?

again, somehow ALOT AND I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU MWAH. these days I’m mutual-ing more blogs with other groups cause otherwise same typa content is on the dash. (Not that I don’t love it but ukwim)

how many followers do you have ?

Little close to the 1k milestone 😳😳😳 (ily all <3)

following?

286. just as I said, trying to follow blogs with different contents and groups so one group doesn’t take up the dash

do you make shit post?

everything that comes out of my mouth is basically trash (and yes I talk a lot) so it’s tagged #lee trash talk.

how long do you use Tumblr each day?

some ungodly & unhealthy number of hours. Let’s pretend you don’t see my I-need-to-detached-myself-from-interactions-irl-&-otherwise self pls thankyou.

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

I come in peace bUT there was this one blog who had an argument with @xfirebenderx and I because they thought I shouldn’t be hosting 17 days of gyu even after everything was clear.

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

feels like guilty tripping ngl but also helps spread awareness over important stuff that needs to be addressed at times

do you like tag games?

Heck yeah I love love love them. It makes you interact with moots and I get to know more about them! I’m sorry if I do those later fjrjdj I always get tagged in a bunch of those at the same time and forget lmao

do you like ask games?

Also, HELL YEAH. Ask games feel more personal and I love them. I love making friends and love interactions with moots on the dash over stuff like this .

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

almost all of my mutuals are famous and known blogs in caratblr, I can’t name a few fjdkxk

 do you have a crush on a mutual?

Not crush-crush but @kwonthefire my wife <3. @jonghan my other half chaotic bestie (boochan)

tags?

@soonhoonsol @jonghan @call-me-horangi @hearttoshu @iiasha @lovehui @heartgyus @chawoongs @choibeomgyus @kwanies @leedk (only if you wanna! Sorry if you’ve been tagged before)

[luvreyn]

My Manhwa List (2020) Part 2

2020 just started but a lot has been going on, please stay healthy in these trying times. Hopefully, these manhwas would keep you entertained (like they did to me) and kept you from being too anxious & lonely.

Flirting with the Villain's Dad

Description:

Ack! I'm trapped in this webnovel, "Brigitte Wants to be Happy!" No prob, I KNOW what's gonna happen so I'll just—wait. I'm not Brigitte? I'm her aunt, Princess Yerenika?! Uh-oh. I'm stuck 20 years before the main plot... and everyone in my generation ends up tragically dead! Her parents, dead. Me, dead. Villain's dad, King Euredian, dead. A-ha! That's the key. I just need to prevent the villain from being born... time to break out some seduction schemes and flirt like my life depends on it!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 5/5 a new favorite!

- art style = 5/5 reminds me of rae x noah art and something else

- characters are all good looking, so aesthetic!

- seriously, this is a gem

- f u n n y

- isekai-sh?

- mc is so cute!!!! 

- ml is so so handsome 

- few chaps for now but so goodd

- i’m so excited for whats in store

- read this pls so we can fangirl togetherr!

- conclusion, a very good manhwa and highly recommended!

Invitation of Mystic Messenger

Description:

The official comic adaptation of the dating-sim game phenomenon has arrived! Hana is usually a glass-half-full sort of person, but lately, nothing seems to be going her way. After yet another fruitless day of job hunting, she finds herself pouring out all her frustrations to a stranger in the street. The kind stranger disappears before they get a chance to exchange names or numbers, however, leaving behind a phone with nothing but a single messenger app. “Can you read this message…?” As soon as Hana logs on, username “Unknown” tells her they know the person she is looking for. Although a little suspicious, she is intrigued. Who was the stranger that lent her a shoulder to cry on? Who is this “Unknown” she is chatting with? To find the answers to her questions, she must first accept a mysterious invitation. Time to get reacquainted with Jumin, 707, Zen, Yoosung, Jaehee and the rest of Mystic Messenger!

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- ohmyghad

- plot = ?/5 it only has the prologue but i have great expectations bcoz this is base on a game by the same name (if u dont know it then its ok cause i havent played it either lmao)

- artstyle = 5/5 they look so gooood!

- this has great potential & i’m looking forward to how they’ll incorporate it!

- conclusion, april 12th cant come fast enough! i wanna read it!

Lamia Orphe is Dead

Description:

Lamia Orphe is to become the future successor of the Orphe dukedom but at 22 years of age, she suddenly decides to give up her own title. On the other hand, the 2nd Prince, Aquila Theodore Benzer, has powers that transcend beyond that of a normal human. Notorious for being cruel and merciless as the son of the "desert witch," he competes against his brother, the 1st Prince Ethan Tayler Benzer, to succeed the throne. What lies in store for Aquila and Lamia? How are their fates intertwined with the legendary dragon?

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- i cri

- plot = 6/5 because its what it deserves

- artstyle = 4.5/5 

- ml is precious ok he is!

- mc is such a precious bean for wanting to protect her little brother

- this is a gem

- i just wanna cry why do ppl do them dirty huhuhu

- pls read they’re so precious together

- ml treats her like a queen which she deserves

- in this house we dont want toxic males!

- c u t e

- ml loves her so much that its so painful

- conclusion, HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!

The Villainess Turns the Hourglass

Description:

After her lowly mother married a count, Aria enjoyed a life full of luxury while harassing her gentle stepsister Mielle. Several years later, Aria is about to be executed when Mielle reveals that she wickedly tricked Aria into building the bad reputation that ultimately brought her to the scaffold. Just as Aria desparately wishes she could change her fate, she sees a curious hourglass that takes her back into the past. Now, Aria can destroy Mielle by using her own tactics against her like a true villainess. The power of the hourglass is on her side... Can Aria take everything from Mielle, or will her actions change the past in ways she couldn't have imagined? Based on the hit novel.

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- plot = 5/5 

- artstyle = 3.5/5

- a villain that acts like a villain? check

- f u n n y

- i love manipulative mc (its aria btw)

- aria’s plot and schemes to get back at her backstabbing sister is entertaining

- promising &  full of potential

- cant say much bout ml cause he hasnt made much appearance yet

- interesting concept!!

- conclusion, a new fav!

This Witch of Mine

Description:

In these times, if you're too good or bad at something or simply too beautiful, you're called a witch. The truth is deeper than everyone realizes. Up against dark intentions, an outcast young boy and a mysterious witch will need more than just magic spells and incantations; they’ll need each other.

WHY YOU SHOULD READ:

- why u do this to me author sunbae!

- seriously i just wanna cry after i read this 

- plot = 10/5 because thats what it deserves

- artstyle = 4.5/5 kinda reminds me of lamia orphe’s art style

- a gem

- personal favorite

- i cri

- a rollercoaster ride!

- all characters are lovable & humane

- spoiler: “youre miserable because you love me more than you love them”

- OHMYGHAD

- i love all the male lead & mc ok

- male leads (bcoz they’re many) treats my girls so well i just wanna

- a touching story about love & friendship

- i think this often overlook but READ THIS

- conclusion, a super duper highly recommended series that touches you!

[shiningstarlight]

Show your process

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES - When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag up to 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours.

Thank you for tagging me @essercipertuttienonperse, I always love to see what might have gone through someone’s mind while they were thinking of their work. I have to be honest, this thing took me around a week because I have low will to do things when they seem complicated sdvbsdo so I started doing it around 20th January to be able to finish it on time, and my main idea changed a bit throughout these days. I was tagged for this graphic! This is going to be LONG I am so sorry.

1. Planning

All I knew was that I wanted to make some sort of “story” of most of what Louis had achieved with Walls. I don’t think charting and numbers are the most important things, but they are still part of the process of releasing an album, mostly with a debut. So I just digged deep to find some old things about number ones on release day, I added the gold disc in Mexico, digged some more in the present and then put everything aside in a note. The hardest part was to try and do everything, because in my mind I wanted a png to be at the center, and I was trying to have stability for all the boxes around. The first thing I did was choose colors, that was easy because I took the cover and chose the ones of his jacket and jeans: (I have noticed I have lost my original psd lol love that for me, I’ll try to recreate what it looked like from the pics I sent to my friend. Sorry for the annoying writing but the whole thing has already been reposted with no credits and thankfully I had watermarked it sigh so I prefer to write down my url) 

2. Editing (general)

Not gonna lie again, this took,,, a while. I usually enjoy making pngs on my own with the lasso tool unless it calls for desperate solutions and I have to remove the background more quickly, but I did this Louis png with it and it took a while, also considering that I had made a huuuge thing for it to be in a good quality svhosv and I started to arrange everything around it, with the boxes and such. I don’t think I used much coloring here, it’s just one psd coloring that I used for both the pic at the top left corner and the main png, the rest is just playing with black and white things and using the “screen/lighter colors” option for blending of the layers. 

3. Editing (spotify box)

Very easy, just did a png (I had it stored in my folders because it’s the same one I used for my Spotify edit lmao but it fit here too, and used the “wave effect” option to wave the text I put inside.

4. Editing (gold disc)

I did not do much for this beside making the Walls album with this base and edit the disc so it was a gold one:

5. Editing (still) (AOTY) 

I really wish I could show more of how this looked earlier before I finished it but no psd to help unfortunately :( still, for this I took a pic and made it black and white so that I could use the blending option “screen/lighter colors” (both gave me the same effect) and then added this overlay (I think I used lighter colors here because it only showed the white of the particles) 

6. Final boxes

Not much more beside playing around with fonts and using pics from the Walls photoshoot, I just used the “lighter colors” blending option again to match with the rest, same with the last gif at the bottom. I just wanted a gif in the second part of the edit as well and I put that lmao but nothing more than lighter blending.

6. Final touches (music videos) 

This was a last-minute decision, to include gifs instead of pics (editing six gifs in one graphic is hell and I think you won’t see me doing it again most likely svsovsd but who knows with me) but it was a fun ride. Louis’ videos are not really the best for what I wanted, because I wanted to use the “lighter colors” option again to match but,,, dark colors 9/10 sigh. However, I enjoy the final result a lot! I’ll leave the final thing underneath because I cut it, so you can see better what it looks like on its own. Last thing, to add the text I just used the text tool and made it go around so that I could fit each music video title. At this point I had also realized that I needed to split the graphic in two different ones because otherwise, with the dimensions I had used, tumblr was going to say “bye bye” for the final mbs... sad. 

7. Posting 

I usually breathe at least 40 times before posting anything because my inferiority complex is,,, something else. I hardly ever trust what I do and come up with, mostly for graphics because I understad it’s not everyone’s cup of tea, so that sometimes stops me from trying harder and stepping out of my comfort zone. I had never gone this huge with experimenting with things, so I am happy I did (and I plan on keep on doing it, hopefully). I am a firm believer that what really matters is what you, as an artist/content creator, think of your work, but it’s sometimes hard to think like that. However, I managed to post because I was not letting my insecurities throw away a whole week of work !!! I was so happy to make this because although to me numbers/awards are just 2/10 of music, I also understand these are important accomplishments for artists and deserve to be celebrated. This was a long post, I am so sorry for whoever reached the end sduivbsdi but there was a lot to say.

Thank you again for tagging me @essercipertuttienonperse! I loved reading about yours (check it here!!!! Amazing) and I think this is such an amazing idea to support each other and also see more of what goes through someome’s head, for decisions and such. I love that with any kind of art, so it’s amazing for me to be able not only to write about my creative process (at least one of the many) but also to read about others’. 

I have a few people to tag but none of you is obliged of course, if you want to I’d be happy, but do what makes you more comfortable! Also, to me everything is art, drawings, graphics, gifs, edits... anything. Everything is 100% valid, never feel differently pls!! 

I’d love to tag @finewalls​ for this beautiful work​

@lauvamp​ for this stunning drawing

@dryourtearsaway​ for this amazing cover

@tomlinsun​ for this gorgeous graphic (I have been amazed ever since I saw this one really, of course I love all your drawings but this was calling me to include it)

And finally, @wuxien​ for this awesome graphic 

I wish everyone a wonderful day, sorry again for the very long post <3

[taelme]

Dance major!Sicheng

genre: school!au,  dance major!sicheng (slight angst, fluff, slow burn) 

pairing/s: Sicheng / Reader (ft Xiaojun, Ten and Renjun n some of the 127 boys!) 

word count: 18k+ 

tw: mentions of alcohol use, like tension between Sicheng and his parents...(this is fictional of course pls keep this in mind Sicheng’s relationship with his parents that I portrayed in this is in not real and this is just based off of personal experience pls) 

a/n: only now am I realizing how many of my works include substance use lmao I need to calm down.. anyway this is just something I wanted to do for Sicheng inspired by his ‘lovely’ dance with Ten for ‘Rainbow V’ as well as by the videos of him dancing Chinese traditional dance in general!! believe me,... the amount of videos and compilations I've watched of him doing traditional dance is....a lot more than I'm proud to disclose HAHHA .. also there are some mandarin words mentioned here that I referenced from things sicheng has said before so yes that's all anyway enjoy!!

“We’re gonna have to start closing up soon,” you murmured, leaning down to massage your calf, beginning to feel sore after what felt like a whole day of standing.

It was your faculty’s turn to raise money for underprivileged students in your school to start the second half of the semester, the classes in your department setting up various booths ranging from food and beverage to booths like yours, selling customized handmade bracelets.

“You look tired,” one of your friends told you, earning a wholehearted nod from you.

“Very.”

Laughing, she shook her head at you, handing you the file containing your money collected from your sales, “D’you mind helping us collate this? We’ll go grab the rest of our bags and stuff from the lounge.”

You nodded, getting your phone out and kneeling at the table, dividing the money by quantity and starting to key in your phone calculator, your train of thought getting interrupted when you’d received a text from your friend Xiaojun, finishing your calculations before checking his message.

xiaojun 5:07pm -i can come to ur booth now !-

You huffed, your knees starting to hurt from the rough surface of the floor, typing out your reply to him with your pen still clasped in your hand.

5:09pm -we’re already almost closing ure a little late-

xiaojun 5:09pm -its ok i have friends with money they can donate even if they dont buy anything! where is ur booth-

5:09pm -@ the entrance of the design and performing arts school- xiaojun

Xiaojun 5:09pm - perfect -

“Y/N!” you heard the echo of someone whose voice was so distinctively Xiaojun it gave you goosebumps, looking up from your phone and spotting the boy himself walking alongside two other boys. 

You first noticed they were very well dressed, giving you the vibe that they were from the design and arts department, possessing a different sort of charisma that was made even more obvious when they were walking next to a bouncy smiley Xiaojun.

You gave him a grimace, looking back at the list of ibanking transactions, adding up the total of that with what you’d calculated for physical money, eyebrows raised in surprise at the total, not expecting to have raised so much more than your class had initially expected.

“Y/N, this is Ten and Sicheng,” Xiaojun gestured to the two boys next to him, identifying the shorter of the two with short cropped hair with multiple piercings adorning his ear to be Ten, and the other taller boy with dark brown hair to be Sicheng, who simply gave you a nod in greeting.

“Nice to meet you,” Ten had smiled at you, instantly brightening his demeanour as he gravitated towards the beads and string. “Can I make one?” he was already starting to pick up the roll of thread, measuring it around his wrist.

“You didn’t even wait for her to say yes,” Sicheng pointed out with a sigh despite being busy with his phone, causing Ten to give you a sheepish smile.

You nodded reassuringly, gesturing to the materials, “sure, go ahead, we’re already done for the day, anyway,” you smiled.

Xiaojun had made his way around the table, making a loud displeased sound when he saw that you were kneeling on the floor. “Can’t you at least sit on a chair or something?” he clucked his tongue, making you roll your eyes. Your bickering had unknowingly caught Sicheng’s attention, the boy silently observing the way you and Xiaojun interacted as he typed out a reply to Renjun who was currently asking where on earth he was.

“I would if there was any chairs here,” you scoffed.

Xiaojun was about to retort when his gaze flickered to the numbers you were so busy writing down, “Wow! You guys made this money just selling bracelets?!” You shushed him quickly, not wanting to attract unwanted attention, but at the mention of money, Sicheng visibly perked up, making his way away from Ten to the table you and Xiaojun were at, curious to see the amount.

His eyes widened upon seeing the number, glancing quickly at the rates you sold each bracelet for. 

“Wow,” he drawled, his eyebrows raising in surprise, “have you guys done this before?”

You were startled to find how different his voice sounded from what you’d expected, low and holding a certain thickness to the sound. Watching him pull the sleeves of his sweater to his elbows, he’d picked up the sheet of paper, analysing it before placing it back down on the table with a nod, looking back at you for your reply.

You knew you thought he was pretty when you first saw him, but your breath hitched at the discovery that he was even prettier up close. Sicheng. Even his name was pretty. You thought Xiaojun took care of his appearance, but Sicheng was on a whole other level.

Realising he was still waiting for your reply, you quickly shook your head, watching how his lips curved into a small smirk, nodding with an impressed pout on his lips.

“Well you should, you wouldn’t even need to get part-time jobs if you just promoted these,” he proposed casually. This earned him an obnoxious snicker from Ten, whose neck was still craned as he made his bracelet, struggling with a particularly small one.

“Saying it like that isn’t gonna make them give you any of the profit, you know,” Ten’s teasing tone did nothing to deter Sicheng, who simply shrugged.

Xiaojun chimed in quickly, waving his finger at Sicheng as he laughed with Ten, “This guy’s like that. He’ll propose the idea and make you do everything else,” he told you, making Sicheng scoff, a small smile of embarrassment on his face at his friends’ teasing.

“That’s called doing business. It’s so troublesome to do all of it yourself, might as well get people to help you carry it out,” Sicheng gestured as he spoke, waving his friends off. You scrunched your nose in amusement, shoving Xiaojun aside so you could straighten up, putting the paper with the calculations into the file with the money and setting it aside.

Sicheng tried not to make it too obvious that he kept looking at you, deciding to pretend to be interested in what Ten was doing so you wouldn’t notice his furtive glances. “Who are you making that for?” he nudged Ten.

“Not you.”

A sharp tut of the tongue left Sicheng’s mouth.

“Yeah, I know. I wasn’t—never mind forget I asked,” he laughed, taking his phone out to act busy with it.

You spotted the teacher-in-charge of the event gesturing for you to start packing up. 

“Do you guys need help cleaning up?” Xiaojun gestured at the tables.

You’d started by squatting next to the table, picking up the multitude of beads that had fallen down throughout the day. Sicheng had gone over to help you since Xiaojun had chosen to hurry Ten into making his bracelet so you could pack up. He’d noticed how poorly you were balancing, wanting to tell you you could let him do it but he was interrupted by the buzzing of his phone, getting a phone call from somebody but simply tucking his phone between his ear and shoulder as he continued picking up the beads.

“Y/N,” you heard your friend’s voice, turning around a little too quickly and almost stumbling, anticipating the impact on your bum when you felt a hand on your arm, pulling you steady. Eyes widening, you regained your balance quickly, Sicheng still talking to whoever was on the phone in what you could decipher to be rushed chinese, casually removing his hand from your arm.

“What are you doing?” Renjun’s tone was exasperated, “You said you’d be here 10 minutes ago!”

Sicheng straightened up once your friend had approached you, “I got held back, I’m helping Xiaojun’s friend with something,” he emptied his handful of beads into their respective sections.

“I’m hanging up, I’ll be there in 5 minutes,” he told Renjun, hanging up promptly after.

“Guys, I have to leave, i’m gonna go find Renjun,” he spoke, Ten and Xiaojun both turning around and bidding him goodbye as he left.

You’d gotten up a little too late, your conversation with your classmate having distracted you into not noticing Sicheng leaving.

You’d gone to help your classmates bring back the tables to the storeroom, “So...” your friend drawled, mischief laced in her tone, “Xiaojun’s friends, huh?” she smirked, making you roll your eyes, a flustered scoff escaping your lips.

“What about them?” you raised an eyebrow at her, already skeptical about what she was about to say.

She shot you a look of disbelief, her smile widening, “I saw what happened just now, when the tall cutie saved you before you could fall on your ass,” she shrugged in mock nonchalance.

“He kind of scares me...” you admitted, making her burst into laughter, the obnoxious sound echoing in the empty corridor you were walking through.

“Didn’t seem like that just now when he grabbed you,” she sing-songed.

You shot her a glare, dismissing her accusations with a shake of your head. “Can you stack the tables properly,” you gestured to the haphazard stack of tables placed in an empty area of the room in her haste to get it over with, not being able to help yourself from laughing at her sheer excitement.

“Don’t try to avoid my question!” she waggled a finger at you, urging you out of the room so she could continue her interrogation.

“I’m not avoiding it, there’s literally nothing to say! I barely spoke a sentence to him,” you defended.

“What’s his name?”

“Sicheng,” you replied a little too quickly, making her squeal, “I think,” you added, just to make it seem like you totally weren’t sounding out his name in your head just moments before.

"What?" you snapped, hating how embarrassed her cheeky grin was making you, especially with her shrugging her shoulders suggestively, quirking an eyebrow and smirking at you as you returned to where Xiaojun and Ten were, seeing that your other friends had left already.

“Are you going home after this?” Xiaojun came over to you and asked once he'd noticed you were back. You nodded your head, earning a frown from Ten.

“We’re gonna stay to hang with Sicheng and Renjun, see you on Monday, then?”

Nodding, you waved goodbye to the both of them, endeared when you saw that Ten was already proudly wearing the bracelet he made, “Alright, see you.”

Glad to have made new friends, but strangely curious about Sicheng, feeling like you’d just been left hanging.

===

Thankfully for you, you had friends like Xiaojun. Though times like this you weren’t so sure whether you were so thankful for the boy sitting next to you whining about how late his friend was to meet him.

“Maybe he’s busy or something,” you shrugged, adjusting your legs so you were sitting cross legged, your laptop perched on your lap as you continued doing research for your essay.

“If he’s so busy he shouldn’t have started teaching Ren—oh my god, finally!” your head shot up from your laptop, turning to him with a confused gaze before seeing him frowning at something in front of him, turning your head to spot Xiaojun’s friend from that day at the charity event.

“Oh?” you’d accidentally blurted, catching Sicheng’s attention, making him look at you in surprise, giving you a small close-lipped smile in greeting, shoving his hand into his pocket as his other hand fiddled with his phone.

“Where did you go?” Xiaojun asked, genuine confusion laced in his tone, switching to Mandarin while he was talking to Sicheng. Not because he didn’t want you to understand, of course, but more because he was more comfortable this way. (And plus, you liked to think you had sufficient mandarin knowledge).

“What are you talking about? I told you I was outside helping Renjun this whole time,” Sicheng furrowed his eyebrows, a hint of amusement on his features. You understood the part about him being outside, somehow finding Sicheng’s personality to be rather strong, especially showcased when he was speaking mandarin.

Xiaojun’s mouth closed shut, looking slightly embarrassed, ignoring the knowing look you were giving him at how quick he was to scold Sicheng for being late.

“Oh, okay.” Xiaojun bid you goodbye quickly, Sicheng helping him off the floor and leaving promptly.

You found it strange, how he’d spent so much time in your faculty building when he wasn’t even from this faculty, only realizing why when you’d gone to help your groupmates who were spray painting their crafts outside the lounge, seeing the area usually occupied by students from the dance club practicing now taken over by Sicheng and a petite boy that you recognized to be from your faculty.

You heard the petite boy whine sulkily, looking at Sicheng with an exasperated look on his face, simply receiving a shrug and a smile from Sicheng.

“I never said this was easy to do,” he sighed deeply, looking towards the mirror to observe Renjun, catching a glimpse of you in the background.

You held the collar of your shirt over your nose, regretting not having better protection against the fumes of the spray paint, feeling a little bad for the people around you in case the fumes were too strong that it disrupted them as well.

“This one’s done, I’ll bring it aside,” you told your group members, seeing their nods of acknowledgement before using one hand to drag the long and heavy piece of cardboard to the more airy part of the area.

Sighing, you let go of your shirt, dabbing at your sweat with the back of your hand and looking around to see if anyone had been annoyed by the spray paint fumes, accidentally making eye contact with Sicheng through the large mirrors. Something made you feel prompted to say hello, but you decided against it, looking away quickly and continuing with what you were doing.

You tried not to let yourself get too distracted by seeing his demonstrations of the dance he was teaching to Renjun, trying to focus on finishing your task as fast you could so you could go back into the student lounge where there wouldn’t be a Sicheng to distract you.

Settling for just nodding in greeting to him, exchanging small smiles, you carried on seeing him and bumping into him in your faculty. Each time trying to ignore the way your mind was starting to create scenarios in your head about how you would approach Sicheng and start a conversation in another universe where you were confident enough to approach someone as pretty as him.

Sicheng too had been going through a similar dilemma in his head, debating on whether he would send the wrong message if he were to ask too many questions about you. He wasn’t usually the type to put himself out there or pursue potential love interests, it was just something about seeing you around so often and his unceasing curiosity that was starting to get the better of him.

“Your friend is my age, right?” he asked as casually as he could once when he was teaching Renjun at the mirrored area outside the student lounge, curious after seeing the multitude of things it seemed that you had to do (or maybe, just curious about you in general)

Xiaojun shot him a look of confusion, shaking his head rapidly.

“Oh my god, no, she’s my age,” he laughed, finding it weird that Sicheng would think you were his age, wondering momentarily if you looked that old.

“Oh,” Sicheng said, not realizing Xiaojun wasn’t listening to him anymore, too busy deciding whether you looked like a solid 20 year old or barely 19.

“Why’d you ask?” Xiaojun snapped out of his thoughts, turning to Sicheng with a questioning look on his face.

Sicheng shrugged casually, commenting that Renjun had done well before replying Xiaojun, “Nothing. Just…didn’t know why they looked so busy when I look at how free you are,” he grinned cheekily at the end of his statement, letting out a relieved sigh when Xiaojun had bought his excuse.

It wasn’t like Sicheng wasn’t telling the truth, because you did have a lot of things to do. Making Sicheng just the least of your worries at this point. You’d been so busy trying to churn out assignment after assignment that it was starting to take a toll on you. You hadn’t gotten a proper sleep in what was probably weeks, too busy thinking and planning time for all the things that were yet to be done, the constant worrying ridding you of a guilt-free sleep.

It wasn’t any better that you and your friends had all started spending long hours cooped up in the student lounge doing work; going home later and later as a result. And though many people would probably see that as a normal part of school life, you weren’t one for hustle culture, and you definitely weren’t used to experiencing it to such an extent, the stress from it all making you increasingly sensitive.

You’d been with your friend in the student lounge, with her trying her best to help you think of ideas that you could do for your assignment. (You didn’t think of yourself as the most creative person in the world). Hugging your jacket closer to yourself, you sighed, looking at your computer as you wracked your brains to think of a possible solution.

“I'm sorry, writing really isn't my strong suit, but I’ll try my best," she told you, tilting the computer slightly more in her direction, eyes rapidly scanning through what you had typed so far to see if she could get any inspiration for the other aspects of your assignment you had yet to think of.

You felt a sinking feeling in your stomach when you saw that her mom was calling her, asking—or demanding, it was a very fine line these days—her to come home since it was getting late. From the way she'd ended the call and looked at you, a certain reluctance mixed with sympathy in her expression, you already anticipated what she would say next.

"Y/N—" she started hesitantly.

"It's fine, really, your mom's gonna be pissed if you stay. I'll just..." you glanced at your work, trying to ignore the headache building at your temples, "...figure something out."

“—I’m really sorry,” your friend murmured, picking up her bags and shooting you one last sympathetic expression before leaving.

And now that your friend was gone, that left you sitting on the floor of the student lounge, your back against one of the pillars near the corner of the room. At this point, you'd managed to finalize your ideas, desperately wanting to get this over with, but the more you tried to think the more your ideas just weren't making sense.

Sicheng had just finished teaching Renjun for the day, strolling into the student lounge with his water bottle in hand, spotting Xiaojun sitting at the sofas using his phone.

"Renjun went home already?" Xiaojun asked, earning a nod from Sicheng, who flopped down on the sofa next to Xiaojun, a tired sigh leaving his lips.

"Do you have the stuff I needed help printing?" Sicheng felt a wave of relief upon seeing the clear plastic folder Xiaojun had taken out from his bag, handing it to Sicheng. In the process of leaning over to get his bag from where it was next to Xiaojun, Sicheng had caught a glimpse of someone that reminded him of you with your head resting on your folded arms placed on the table.

"You would not believe what I went through this morning..." Xiaojun began, not realizing he may as well have been talking to the wall due to Sicheng clearly being preoccupied with staring at your direction in concern.

Wondering if it was you, he'd glanced at the time on his watch, confirming the first bit about it possibly being you since he'd noticed you tended to stay in the student lounge later during this period.

"Yeah, and to make it even worse they're making us go to the farm!..." Xiaojun went on.

Sicheng’s suspicions were confirmed even more when he'd recognized the jacket you were wearing, having seen you wear it earlier on in the day when you'd greeted him on your way to the washroom.

She seems really tired, maybe I should tell Xiaojun? she is his friend after all...Sicheng contemplated, coming back from his thoughts to look at Xiaojun blankly.

"What did you say?" he asked Xiaojun, seeing the boy look up from his phone.

"Oh. No, I just said I needed to get going, I’m meeting my parents for dinner outside," he said simply, not seeming to have noticed that Sicheng hadn't caught a single word of his that came prior to that.

Nodding slowly, "Oh," Sicheng dragged his gaze away from you. "Okay, I think I’ll just stay here a little longer, I’m kind of lazy to leave.”

Xiaojun wasn't stupid, he'd caught Sicheng staring at your direction the moment he'd grabbed his bag, figuring he would let things flow and wait for the (much expected) updates he was likely to get from you the next day. Eyeing Sicheng suspiciously, he nodded, "Bye, see you," he waved, slinging his bag over his shoulder and leaving.

Sicheng frowned when he'd looked back at you, a part of him growing slightly hopeful when he saw you finally lift your head from the table top, rubbing at your forehead where there was now a red mark, your other hand coming up to wipe your tears roughly.

Seeing as no one else was there, and something was compelling Sicheng to check on you, he did exactly that. Making his way over to you, he crouched down next to where you sat in a squat, the feeling of a presence next to you making you turn, startled when you'd spotted Sicheng there.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Your hands flew to your face in your hurry to wipe the tears threatening to spill, turning your face away from him quickly, pretending to be busy and picking up your drink that had been neglected for God knows how long to take a sip. Ignoring the way the drink tasted diluted now from all your ice having melted, you turned back to him, holding a thumbs up with a small smile.

"Yeah, fine," you managed to muster out, trying to even out your breathing and calm yourself down.

“Uhhh...” he glanced at your face, searching your expression, noticing how your eyes got teary when you looked back at what was on your laptop screen, “hold on,” he murmured, and you tried not to let yourself get too nervous at his proximity.

Sicheng let his legs fold under him, resting his hands on his thighs as he inspected what was on your computer, receiving a pleasant surprise when he’d realized he’d done this module before.

“Do u need help? I did this module last year,” he told you, making your eyes widen, wondering just what you did in your life to warrant you such kindness from a stranger (or acquaintance, if you were being generous).  

You shot him a hesitant look, feeling embarrassed if you were to ask someone you barely knew to help with your assignment.

“Honestly, I just need to know if my ideas make sense, because I’m really rushing for time right now and every time I look at them again it just feels like I’m talking a whole lot of bullshit so I’m literally stuck because I can’t think of anything else,” you rambled, out of breath when you were done.

Not that Sicheng minded your rambling, since the boy was more focused on reading whatever you had on your computer screen, his eyes squinting as he concentrated.

In your assumption that he was squinting because he couldn’t see the words well, you’d made the words a lot bigger, making him let out a small huff of laughter.

“Thanks,” he whispered, continuing to read.

“Okay,” he turned to you with a small huff, “it’s really not as bad as you’re making it sound,” you frowned at his wording.

“So it’s bad?” your lips parted in dismay.

He giggled softly, shaking his head, “No, it’s not. After reading it, I can see that you’ve sort of got all your points here, you just need to find a way to pitch them, like...sell it, you know?”

You nodded slowly, looking back at what you’d written. Sicheng figured he’d better guide you through it since your expression remained lost as your hands hovered over your keyboard, not quite knowing how to start.

“Okay, how about, you just try to follow this structure while writing and I’ll guide you as you go, how does that sound?”

You nodded, thoughts wandering to how surreal all of this seemed to you. You already had an interest in Sicheng from all your previous encounters in school, and to have him here now offering to help you with your work just seemed a little too good to be true, like what you’d imagined would only happen to you in another universe but you figured since it was already happening you should put it to full use, nodding at him (it was clear your priorities were a little mixed up now that Sicheng was in the picture).

Sicheng gave you a sweet smile, relieved that you hadn’t rejected his offer. Not wanting to get carried away, he’d immediately started giving you prompts for your first idea. Doing as he told you to, you were surprised at how quickly you were able to get your assignment done. This was of course aside from the time you spent being distracted by his proximity while he pointed at your screen once in a while to tell you what you could do while you were ‘stuck’.

Attributing your success to him having done this subject before, you’d finished way earlier than you expected. However, just glancing at the clock you felt the dread creeping up on you as you thought of what other assignments you had left to do, your long-awaited rest just seeming to grow further and further away from you.

Sicheng leaned back in his seat, resting his elbow on his knee as he looked at you, a small smile playing at his lips as he saw the way you let out a relieved sigh as you hurriedly saved your work.

“Satisfied?” he’d asked once you finished saving your work and closing your laptop.

You couldn’t help yourself from nodding vigorously, immensely thankful for his timely appearance.

“I really can’t be assed to think any more about this stupid assignment,” you admitted, making him laugh, shaking his head.

Glancing at his watch, Sicheng looked back at you with an expectant gaze.

“Do you live nearby?”

You sighed, shaking your head as you stretched your arms out, “Takes me about a half hour bus ride? to get back?” you yawned, hands going to cover your mouth quickly.

His eyebrows raised in surprise, “You should probably be getting back, then, it’s pretty late..” He stood up with a grunt, extending a hand for you to take.

Accepting it, and standing up, you let him go grab his things as you slung your bag over your shoulder, glancing at the other people in the student lounge who were starting to leave as well, knowing for a fact that if Sicheng hadn’t offered to help you, you would be still here looking at them leave in envy.

Walking out of the student lounge with Sicheng, you’d realized just how empty the school was at this time of the day, something about the mood of the sky and the breeze you felt walking out adding to your confusing mix of feelings.

“What bus do you take?” Sicheng asked you.

Replying him quickly, you were confused as to why he’d asked when he’d just continued using his phone after that, frowning as the conversation went silent.

“The next one’s coming in 8 minutes,” Sicheng told you casually, shoving his phone into his pocket.

You never knew Xiaojun had such considerate friends.

“What bus are you taking?” you’d asked, seeing him turn to you briefly before looking back ahead.

“The same one, goes to my house as well,” he told you with a shrug, though obviously he didn’t include the part about it being like 20 minutes longer than his usual bus, but he felt like you could use the company, with the way he could practically hear you stressing from beside him.

“You look really stressed—" he cut himself off at the sound of his ringtone, seeing the caller ID had read that it was his sister, “—wait, hold on.”

He held a hand up in a gesture to stop, picking up the call and switching to mandarin to talk to his sister.

“Where are you? what are you out so late for?” she questioned.

“I’m already on my way back, don’t worry. Don’t call me, I’m hanging up.”

Ending the call quickly, you looked at him in fascination, finding the way he spoke enough to put you in a trance.

“Okay, where were we?” he said, his tone a lot more gentle than it was to whoever he was speaking to on his phone. “Right, I was gonna ask you why you looked so stressed,” he tilted his head at you, spotting the bus driving towards the bus stop.

You huffed in half-hearted laughter, gripping the strap of your bag tighter.

“I mean like...you know, with submissions and everything...it’s kind of hard for me to not think about the rest of the stuff I have left to do,” you murmured.

“Do you have a lot left?” he asked, earning a shrug from you.

You narrowed your eyes in thought before shaking your head, “It’s only a few assignments, but the problem is not really the quantity more than the tedious....ness of the assignment,” you hesitated, unsure if you were speaking actual words, but you were glad that Sicheng didn’t seem to mind, nodding patiently as you spoke.

Getting onto the bus, you’d taken a seat between the window and Sicheng, hugging your bag to your chest, Sicheng fiddling with his phone in his hands.

“I’m sure you’ll find a way through it. I mean, if Xiaojun can do it, you definitely can,” you laughed at his consolation, something in Sicheng feeling triumphant at how he’d been successful in making you smile.

“I sure hope so,” you huffed, letting a silence fall between you both.

"Thank you so much for helping me, by the way," you murmured, seeing him shake his head dismissively.

"It's okay, you don't have to thank me," he laughed.

"No, I do! What are you talking about? You didn't have to help me but you did, so you have to know that I'm really really thankful for that, okay? I like....basically owe you," you frowned.

"Look," he turned to you with a soft smile, "you can worry about repaying me another time, yeah? For now, just focus on getting a good rest at home and getting the rest of your work done."

You hummed, shooting him a reluctant look but nodding anyway, looking out the window at the passing buildings, less clearly visible due to the time of day.

“Which stop are you stopping at?” he asked you after a moment, telling him the location, murmuring that you were about to get off the bus soon, “That’s fast,” he murmured, starting to regret and wonder if he should've used the chance to make more conversation with you during the bus ride.

“How many stops do you have left?” you asked him, seeing him shrug, knowing he had at least nine more.

“About five-ish?” he shrugged, not wanting you to feel bad for him when you were already so stressed from school.

You nodded, “Alright," you frowned at the bus nearing your stop, a part of you wanting to talk more with Sicheng especially since this whole situation made you kind of forget that you had work to do for a moment.

Turning to get out of your seat, he'd given you a shy smile as you tapped out, stopping at the bus stop to wave at him through the window, making him smile at you, waving back but not without mouthing a "dont stress!" to you, holding his fist up in a gesture to cheer you on.

Nodding, you left before your smile could grow any shyer.

===

"Y/N," you heard someone call you while you were in the queue to buy coffee, turning a full circle before realizing Sicheng was standing behind you in the queue, dressed in a plain black shirt, tucked into black jeans, hands fiddling with his phone and wallet in hand.

"Oh, hi!" you said, shock evident in your tone, you noticed the petite boy who you figured was Renjun, standing next to Sicheng, eyeing him suspiciously, before turning to you and giving you a small smile in greeting.

His hair was more messy today, but not the i-just-woke-up kind of messy, but more of the I've-just-been-dancing-and-pushed-my-hair-back kind of messy.

In short, you thought he looked hot.

Brushing the thought away, you thought on your feet, hoping you could find some way to repay him for what he did.

“Believe it or not, I still feel bad about how you stayed behind to help me the other day, can I like...buy you a drink or something? for the sake of my conscience?" you laughed, seeing him tilt his head at you in amusement.

He hummed in thought, "I guess you can make it up to me by getting something to eat with me after your assignments are all over," he shrugged casually.

Renjun looking at him, clearly scandalized, his mouth falling open as if Sicheng had just transformed into another person.

You nodded, collecting your drink, turning back to him with a grin, "I'll take you up on that, see you.”

You tried your best to remain calm, before practically running back into the student lounge and almost tackling your friend with how excited you were.

"What does it mean if a guy you barely know stays back to help you with your work and accompanies you home and then asks you out for a meal after hell week is over?!" your words came out a mile a minute, almost spilling your drink with how she had writhed when you touched her calf, forgetting momentarily how ticklish she was.

"Is it the tall chinese-speaking cutie?!" she asked, earning a vigorous nod from you.

"Yeah! I saw him when I was getting coffee just now, and i was saying like hey, you know, why don't i buy you a drink cause like you know, I felt like I owed him for being so nice to me," you started, your friend nodding along as she listened intently to your story.

You took a sip of your drink halfway, constantly glancing around to check if anyone was within earshot, suddenly embarrassed about telling her what happened.

"Okay, so then, he suddenly says like..." you dropped the tone of your voice to a much lower one in a poor imitation of his voice, "'i guess you can make it up to me by getting something to eat with me after hell week,' and I'm like," you raised your eyebrows, eyes widening and a strangled sound of excitement escaping your lips, not being able to find a word to describe what you were feeling.

"Oh my god....so what did you say?" she asked, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

"I said yes, duh!" you scoffed, groaning at how she'd hit you repeatedly on the thigh after that.

"Do you think I should have, though? I mean, he's like Xiaojun's friend and all, but like still....I don't really understand why he would go out of his way to do that for me?" you frowned, taking a long sip of your coffee.

"I mean, yeah, why not? You could be missing out on a pretty good opportunity here if you say 'no'," she told you matter-of-factly.

You frowned, picking up your laptop and placing it onto one of the stools near you, scrolling to find your work.

"I know, but it's just weird, I mean. No one's ever approached me like that, especially when I don't even know them that well," you made a face of uncertainty to her.

"Maybe you should like interrogate Xiaojun or something, see what kind of person Sicheng is," she shrugged.

You had to say, there were pros and cons to that plan, but you figured it would probably be a good move to do that.

Little did you know Xiaojun was conducting his own interrogation outside the lounge.

"You should've seen him, he was actually initiating an outing with this girl!" Renjun scoffed, looking at Xiaojun in exasperation.

Sicheng rolled his eyes, focusing on stretching before him and Ten started practicing.

"Yeah why don’t you just announce it over the PA system while you’re at it," Sicheng commented, bending down sit on the floor, stretching his leg out and reaching for his foot, grasping it easily.

Ten shot Sicheng a look, "what's your plan?" he questioned, narrowing his eyes at Sicheng.

"I don't know," Sicheng shrugged, Xiaojun didn't seem to be buying any of it.

"Do you like her?" Xiaojun asked, finding it amusing to see how much Sicheng was trying to divert the topic.

"Ten, are you done stretching?" he avoided Xiaojun's question, giving a pointed look to Ten who simply smirked at his friend.

"I'll be done when you answer Xiaojun's question," he shrugged.

Sighing, Sicheng stood up, directing an annoyed look at his friends.

"I wanna get to know her first, okay?"

Ten made a face, trying to stifle his laughter. Renjun simply sighed loudly, "he's gone, just you wait, he's gonna fall in love by next week.” Ten stared wistfully into the distance, causing Xiaojun to erupt in a fit of giggles.

"You know it's true," Xiaojun gave Sicheng a knowing look, simply receiving a shake of the head in response.

"Whatever," he nudged Ten with his shoe, "let's just start."

===

Soon enough (and very fortunately) you were done with your assignments, and though Sicheng still had one major assignment left, the moment Xiaojun had given his contact to you, you had taken the liberty of texting him to let him know you were done with your assignments.

sicheng 7:53pm -congrats, r u taking me up on my offer now, then?-

He had happened to reply you when you were talking to Xiaojun over the phone.

"What do I say?"

Xiaojun groaned, "Why are you asking me?"

"Because you're his friend! You're supposed to tell me how to approach this!" you frowned, though you knew he couldn't see you.

Xiaojun scoffed, "Sicheng is the least romantic person I know, don't get your hopes up.”

You frowned.

“Then do you think i'm getting ahead of myself with this?" Xiaojun could sense the excitement leaving your tone, making him regret saying that, not intending to have upset you, but at the same time not knowing what to tell you since Sicheng wasn't one to show his affection very freely.

"No, i mean like, Sicheng's just kind of weird in how he expresses how he feels," Xiaojun explained.

"So do you think he's just being friendly by asking me out?"

"I don't know, that really depends on how he acts around you from here on, but i've never seen what he's like when he likes someone so I really wouldn't know. But trust me, he's.....interested," he chuckled, making you gasp.

"Don't lie, are you sure?"

"I mean, forget it. It's not my place to say, i'm not him so I really wouldn't know, he's kind of hard to read if you haven't noticed." The thought lingered with you as you typed out a reply to Sicheng.

8:12pm -only if u want ofc-

sicheng 8:15pm - r u free this week? -

You typed out your reply quickly. 

8:15pm -i'm free for dinner on wednesday- 8:15pm -i end classes at like 5 that day-

sicheng 8:16pm -sure thing, but i have dance practice until like 6? u ok w meeting at 7?-

You refrained from squealing out of excitement. 

8:17pm -sure, see u then! :)-

sicheng 8:17pm - :) -

That was what ended you up in a popular hotpot restaurant at 7, reaching earlier than Sicheng who had texted you saying that he was on the way.

You definitely weren't expecting that he would walk in with the staff greeting him as if he owned the restaurant. Dressed in a casual grey hoodie and dark checkered patterned sweatpants, smoothing his hair down and adjusting his cap as he slid into the booth you were sat at.

"Sorry I'm late, did you have to wait long?" you shook your head. He wouldn't tell you, of course, that the reason he was late being that Ten was busy briefing him on how and how not to act while on a date.

"These soups are really nice, the rest are kind of weird," he admitted, gesturing to a few on the menu.

"Is there anything you don't eat?" he asked, already writing down on the menu, making orders of a considerable amount of dishes.

"Nope, go ahead," you smiled, looking at the menu and making your requests, seeing how he'd called the waiter over and ordered quickly, as if he'd done this a thousand times.

"You seem to be pretty familiar with the place, are you like a regular here?" you asked, seeing him rest his elbows on the table, covering his mouth with his hands as he smiled shyly.

Nodding with a small shrug, Sicheng glanced around at the interior of the restaurant.

"Used to come here a lot back when it wasn't so expensive, now it's kind of like a once in a while kind of thing, but the food here is great," he told you with conviction, his phone lighting up with notifications but he'd simply pushed it aside on the table.

"What did you do today?" he asked.

"Nothing interesting, if that's what you're wondering," you laughed, "just lessons, we haven't gotten any of our assignments back yet, Imean, not that I want to but-yeah." You stopped yourself, realizing you were rambling and trying your best to ignore the way Sicheng was looking at you, his blank expression making you feel like you were boring him.

Little did you know Sicheng was busy distracted by the way your lips moved when you talked, accompanied with the sweet tone of your voice making him almost forget he was part of the conversation.

"That's pretty much it, what about you?" you pressed your lips together, seeing him look up, trying to remember where you stopped.

"Right, okay. I just had a meeting with Ten to practice for our showcase, which is basically our last assignment but it's not due for another few weeks."

Your eyes widened, nodding at him, "That's pretty cool, do you guys get to choose what you dance to?"

Nodding, he moved back in his seat as a waiter came to deliver your food, giving her a nod in thanks.

"To put it simply we get to choose the song ourselves and choreograph a routine, design the set blah blah blah the whole production has to be designed by us basically, on top of the write up and the oral presentation," he told you after the waiter had left.

"That sounds tough," you murmured, reaching for the plate of meat but Sicheng had gotten to it before you could, "It's okay, don't worry. I'll do the work," he told you, the tip of his tongue peeking out from his lips in his concentration as he placed the different items you ordered into the soup.

"I guess it is tough but you know, it's worth it when you get on stage and feel everything come together and just....you know, dance," he shrugged, glaring at the meat as if it would make it cook quicker.

"So—" you were startled when you saw one of the staff of the place, seeming to be one of the managers, approach Sicheng with a loud squeal, draping her hand over his shoulder as he beamed at her, greeting her before she'd started speaking to him in mandarin.

"Si si! It's been so long since I've seen you! How are you?"

He nodded politely, "I've been good, just busy with school. You guys look like business has been pretty good here?”

She nodded at him with a proud smile.

"Of course! you were right, word of mouth does wonders," she told him, nudging him and looking at you with a smirk. "Are you not gonna introduce us to each other?"

Sicheng smiled shyly getting your attention in english, introducing you to her, seeing her smile after you greeted her.

"Are you sure she's just your friend?"

Sicheng scoffed, "Don't talk nonsense," he laughed, making her let out a sound of disbelief.  

You'd managed to pick up on what they were saying, understanding this part since you heard Xiaojun say it pretty often.

"Whatever you say, Si si. Okay, okay. I won't interrupt you two any longer," she drawled, smirking.

Sicheng shooed her away promptly, and you swore his cheeks started tinting pink as he turned back to you and apologized.

"Well she seems nice," you smiled, starting to eat after Sicheng had deemed the meat to be cooked enough.

“How is it?” he asked, eyes widening and an eager smile on his face as he gripped his chopsticks in anticipation.

Upon tasting the meat, your eyebrows lifted, Sicheng mirroring your wide-eyed expression as his smile grew bigger.

“Wow, it’s really good,” you hummed.

Sicheng clasped his hands together triumphantly, nodding his head at you with an overconfident smirk, “Of course it’s good! Since I was the one that recommended this place,” he held his arms up in a shrug.

You rolled your eyes, giggling at his demeanour as he put more food into the pot.

"Did you understand what she was saying?" he asked you.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, seeing him gesture with his thumb over his shoulder and you realized he was referring to the staff. You raised a hand, tilting it in a 'somewhat' gesture.

"Roughly, I used to learn mandarin when i was younger but it's been pretty long since then and I lost most of my knowledge, I only understand bits and pieces that i've heard from Xiaojun before," you laughed, the way he looked at you with a mischievous glint in his eye making you feel a certain type of way.

"So you don't understand what I'm saying now?" he asked you in mandarin, making you narrow your eyes at him.

"I feel like you're asking me if I understand what you're saying...." you guessed, eyebrow raising in the hope that you were correct. Your heart practically jumping at the way his lips curved into a smile, nodding.

He'd set his chopsticks down, holding his head up with his hand, elbow resting on the table as he looked at you curiously.

"What if i said you were a rice bucket (饭桶)?" you didn't catch what he said, the way he pronounced words being rather rushed, tending to mesh and mumble his words together, unlike Xiaojun who tended to enunciate his words strongly.

You frowned at him, chewing your food as you thought, piecing together the words you'd managed to catch, "I eat rice?" you asked.

You weren't expecting the burst of laughter Sicheng had erupted in, his deep laugh sounding throughout the booth you were in, making your eyes widen and look over to see if anyone was looking, thankfully seeing none.

"What's so funny about that?" you asked, genuinely concerned, meanwhile Sicheng seemed to find it the funniest thing ever that you didn't understand him, shaking his head at you.

"Nothing, you're correct," he said, calming down and sipping his drink, his cheeks red from how hard he'd laughed, scrunching his eyes shut in a failed attempt to stop laughing.

You'd let a silence fall between you two as you ate, Sicheng was almost done with his food, forgetting what Ten had told him about his bad habit of eating quickly so no one could take his food.

Glancing at the pot of soup, he'd picked up pieces of meat with his chopsticks, placing it into your bowl, something that he'd never done before other than for his parents, his behaviour shocking even himself.

Nodding gratefully but hoping you could hide how flustered you were, you broke the silence, asking, "anyway, are other people allowed to go for the showcase?" you asked, seeing his eyebrows raise.

"Uh-huh.”

You felt your anxiousness increase, having expected him to ask if you'd wanted to go, now making you wonder if it'd be weird if you asked if you could go watch.

"Can I uh...watch?" you asked, diverting your gaze to your food immediately after you asked, missing the way he scrunched his nose up with a smile, pressing his lips together to contain it before replying to you.

"No," he joked, making your head shoot up.

Sicheng giggling at your reaction, "I'm kidding, of course you can. I'll let you know the details closer to the date." he told you.

"You're not from my faculty, right? I was wondering cause you're in our building so much you could actually pass off as a student there," you laughed, seeing him give you a sheepish look.

"Well, I mean, i'm from the dance department but I've spent a lot of time in your faculty building recently ‘cause one of my juniors Renjun asked me for help for one of his routines and it was a good meeting space for us, since it had that area with the mirrors and all," he gestured with his hand as he spoke, picking his chopsticks back up and shoveling the noodles into his mouth.

You made a 'o' shape with your mouth in understanding.

"Which year are you in?" you asked him.

"I'm in my last year, actually. the showcase is kind of part of our graduating project," your eyes widened, realizing this made him your senior.

"Oh," you murmured. Seeing your phone light up in your lap with a text from Xiaojun.

xiaojun 7:40pm - hows ur date going -

You saw Sicheng move as if getting ready to stand, "Where are you going?"

"Bathroom, be back soon," he murmured. You simply nodded, too preoccupied with replying Xiaojun to pay attention to anything else.

7:40pm - pretty good, kinda weird. he told me in chinese that i ate rice for some reason -

xiaojun 7:41pm - r u sure he didnt just call u a fan tong -

You frowned. 

7:41pm - he did....but isn't that what it means???-

xiaojun 7:42pm - no omg can u just... google what it means -

You did as he had instructed, understanding why Sicheng was laughing so much when you'd seen what it meant, and just as you'd found out, he'd come back to the table, hands resting in the front pocket of his hoodie.

"Ready to go?" you nodded.

"Also, you're a rice bucket!" you told him, seeing him laugh, realizing you'd found out what it meant. But you were momentarily distracted when he'd walked right past the cashier.

"Hey hey, wait aren't we gonna pay?" you grabbed his arm, seeing him shake his head and continue walking, dragging you out with him.

"I paid already," he nodded goodbye at the cashier, leaving you to fumble for words as he waved the receipt at you as proof.

"What the heck, when?"

Sicheng shrugged, "when you were busy finding out what a rice bucket meant."

"Well, then how much do I owe you?" you asked, trying to get the receipt from him, seeing him shove his hands back into his front pocket.

Sicheng pointed at a nearby convenience store, "wanna get ice cream?"

"Sicheng," you frowned, reaching over in an attempt to pull his hands out of his pocket to get the receipt, seeing him pull out the receipt quickly, tearing it into pieces and throwing it into the next trashcan you walked past.

"What did you do that for?!" you whined, letting him lead you across the street to the same line as the convenience store he was pointing at earlier.

He turned to you with a blank expression.

"Look, I said you could repay me by coming to eat with me, not paying for my meal," he gave you a calm shrug, "plus, i chose the place, wouldn't be nice to make you pay ‘cause its so expensive."

"And it's fair for you to pay?" he gave you a tired look.

"This isn't about being fair, Y/N. It's about me paying because i wanted to, alright?" you scrunched up your nose in distaste, but chose to accept your fate anyway since he was so insistent about it.

"I take it back, you're not a rice bucket," you huffed.

He'd led you into the convenience store, grinning at the wide variety of ice cream, Sicheng choosing his quickly, glancing at the aisle of candy and sweets.

"Do you want any of that?" you asked, watching him drag his gaze away from the colourful array of snacks to look at you with an eyebrow raised in curiosity.

"Are you offering to get it for me?" you shrugged, pulling the ice cream bar you wanted out of the cooler and shutting it tightly.

"I want to," you said, emphasizing your tone to make it similar to his when he'd explained the whole paying situation to you.

Sicheng grinned, moving to the aisle and picking out a packet of cookies, handing it to you together with his ice cream with a childlike smile on his face.

After paying, you'd walked out of the convenience store, Sicheng ripping open the packet of his ice cream quickly, taking a bite out of it and waving his arms happily.

Dear God, please help me not make it too obvious that I think Sicheng’s absolutely adorable.

"Is it far from here to your house?" Sicheng asked, and only then did you look at your surroundings, realizing you may be closer to your house than he thinks.

"There's actually a way to walk from here to my house," you said, seeing him nod.

"Alright, let's go."

"Huh?" your eyes widened, biting your ice-cream in your shock and shivering as a result.

"I'll walk you home." He said, gesturing for you to lead the way and so you did, wondering what about you was warranting such niceness from him.

You let him follow you anyway, shoving your hands into your pockets as you walked so you wouldn’t awkwardly brush hands with his.

Figuring you might as well take advantage of the time you had, you let your curiosity fuel your conversation.

"So, what are your plans after you graduate?"

Sicheng grimaced, not expecting you to have asked him that. At the thought of university, Sicheng couldn’t help but think of his dad, the overload of emotions and information that he desperately wanted to tell you making him eventually shrug at the question, not wanting to overwhelm you with the sheer weight of his emotions.

"I actually wanna go to this acting academy, but of course that's all dependent on how well I do,” he huffed.

You pursed your lips at the implication of his words, "Is it hard to get in?"

He nodded vigorously.

"They only accept a handful of students each year...but it'd be a dream if I actually got in," his voice dropped to a murmur, finishing his ice cream and tossing the packaging into a trash bin you walked past.

"Who knows, maybe you will," you shrugged confidently, not knowing just how much comfort the statement gave him.

Sicheng looked at you blankly, a certain warmth spreading in his chest. You turned to look at him, watching as a small smile gracing his features.

"Maybe I will," he murmured.

“Have you spoken to your parents about it? I know it took Xiaojun ages to convince his parents to let him do his course,” you mentioned, noticing the way Sicheng seemed to have tensed at that.

Sicheng pressed his lips together firmly before letting them part slightly, looking as though he wanted to say something.

Eventually, he nodded, “they know I want to pursue acting and dance.”

You raised your eyebrows slightly, craning your neck slightly to get a better look at his expression, “you can tell me if you don’t want to talk about it, but.. something tells me they’re not happy with it.”

Sicheng let out a deep breath through his nose, nodding at you.

“Yeah, they’re not. They never really…were keen on me pursuing arts. I mean like my mom sort of gave up trying to change my mind but my dad is um…” he paused, a huff of bitter laughter leaving his lips, “how do I say this in a nice way..”

Sicheng shook his head, “He’s just very… traditional.”

Sicheng expected to hear what he usually heard at this point, that his parents only mean well and that they’re just worried for him, but your response was something he hadn’t seen coming.

“So how does that make you feel?” You asked. And sure, it was a simple question but for some reason, it was making Sicheng feel as though he was being wrapped in a blanket and soothed like a child.

Sicheng couldn’t help but huff as he shook his head, “I mean, at the end of the day they’re my parents and I know that, but it still makes me feel.. hurt, I guess. That they don’t want to support me to do what makes me happy and what I’m actually passionate about, you know?”

You nodded, “I get where you’re coming from, and I know I’m not in any position to help you make any changes but…I hope you don’t let that stop you.”

“What do you mean?” he asked.

You shrugged, unsure where your wisdom had stemmed from, but you figured it was from all those sleepovers with Xiaojun where you two could rant for hours.

“It’s easy to let yourself sacrifice things for people you care about, but I hope you never sacrifice your happiness.”

Sicheng looked away, trying to suppress the smile from his face as he nodded, glancing at you quickly before looking away, knowing it would do him no help in trying to conceal his smile.

You'd talked more about whatever you could think of, growing to enjoy Sicheng's company the more you spoke with him, not noticing how fast time passed until you were rounding the corner to the street you lived.

"I had a nice time with you tonight," you said, Sicheng able to sense that you were slowing down, having reached your driveway.

"Me too," he smiled, "thank you, for....your time." Sicheng internally cursed, thankful Ten wasn’t here to hear whatever bullshit he just said.

Your lower lip jut out slightly in a pout.

“Well, I mean, it doesn't have to be the last time we go out....you know, we can still hang," you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, seeing him nod, diverting his gaze elsewhere and fidgeting with his cap.

"Absolutely, you know, I'm basically free other than practices with Ten, just uh....let me know if you're ever like....bored and you wanna hang out or something," he mumbled, looking up from the floor to tilt his head at you with a smile, your heart nearly exploding with how cute the gesture was to you.

"Goodnight." You waved, seeing him nod at you, waving as you entered your house.

===

You were currently sitting in the library trying to do some readings for class.

Sicheng had just finished his practice for the day and was going to find you in the library, wearing a yellow hoodie and jeans, his hair (courtesy of Ten) was curlier today, since they'd gotten carried away with thinking of possible ways to style themselves for the performance.  But you thought it wasn't such a bad thing. Because after it was messed up from the movements of the dance you had to say he was hard to look away from.

Spotting you at your desk in the library, he'd felt almost endeared looking at how concentrated you were, a part of him feeling overwhelmed with the urge to pinch your cheeks with how serious you looked. This left Sicheng with no other option than to resort to his only method of coping with it: teasing you.

"What are you doing?" he asked you in mandarin once he had reached your table, flopping onto the seat next to you, making you furrow your eyebrows at your computer screen.

"Readings for class," you murmured, using your pen to follow where you were.

“Okay, let me see your pretty face," he teased, making you huff, not understanding what he was saying.

"What does 'pretty face' mean?" you asked him distractedly, scribbling something on your notes.

"Your face," he said smoothly, so smooth you didn't even realize it wasn't what the word meant.

"That's how you say it in chinese?" he nodded.

"Learn something new everyday," you commented, turning back to face Sicheng only to see he'd already whipped out his phone and pressed on his game app, leaning his head on his arm that was resting on the back of the chair, looking at you with a lazy smile as it loaded.

"Aren't you tired from practice? and why is your hair curly?"

He nodded, pouting at you, "I'm tired, but never too tired to win," he said with an exaggerated amount of confidence, making you scoff.

“But do you like it?" he asked, taking a lock of his hair between his fingers, pulling on it before messing it up a little, you had to remind yourself not to stare.

"It's.....nice," you shrugged, turning back to your computer as Sicheng simply smiled, logging into his game.

By the time you were done with one reading, Sicheng had finished his game as well, the both of you getting ready to leave when you saw a girl that looked younger than you approach your table. You were sure you haven’t seen her before, looking at her in very prominent confusion before you realized she was looking for Sicheng.

The first thing that stood out to you was that she'd called him her older brother (哥哥), a term you knew held certain meaning to some guys as you'd learnt from Xiaojun, but not like you were in any position to be jealous or anything.

"I was hoping I'd run into you, do you know where I can find this teacher?" you heard her say, your gaze hardening from the way Sicheng smiled at her, nodding and giving her directions, a part of you wishing he would act colder towards her, but knowing it wasn't in Sicheng's nature to behave that way towards juniors.

"Thank you so much!" she said, beaming at him shyly before she left.

"Who's that, huh?" you asked, smirking at Sicheng.

"Just a junior," he shrugged, the both of you walking into the lift, squeezed at the back behind a crowd of students.

You pretended to be deep in thought, "Didn't seem like it though, did it, older brother?" you mocked, repeating the words of his junior.

Sicheng almost immediately replied, "Oh my god, shut up that was so gross, don't ever say that again," he shivered, trying to hide the fact that he was absolutely endeared to you and secretly wished you would say it again, but knowing he wouldn't be able to contain his happiness if you did.

You gasped, slightly offended at his outburst as you walked out of the lift.

"What?! What's so different about me saying it and her saying it!" you scoffed, seeing him shake his head, giving you a patronizing smile.

"It's really gross when you say it cause you're my friend!" he told you, making you scoff, at a loss for words.

Was this....him friendzoning you?

"Let's just go home." you shook your head, pushing the conversation behind you.

===

"Do you think this means he doesn't like me?" you sighed, seeing your friend shrug, you and Sicheng had developed a routine of seeing each other after classes or practice, even if it meant just hanging out and watching movies, or just him coming over to your house but ending up falling asleep on your couch because he was so tired from practice, but what bothered you wasn't the routine, but incidents like those in the library that made you confused over how he saw you.

Sure, he did nice gestures for you, but anyone could be nice to you with unromantic intentions. Xiaojun was nice to you, but he had no intention of dating you, so how could you be sure about the fact that he was interested in you?

"You can't be sure....i mean, from what I'm seeing he does a lot of nice things for you..but he doesn't necessarily...outrightly tell you things that can make you sure that he likes you?"

You sighed, waiting for your food to be ready. You'd planned on surprising Sicheng and bringing some food to him since you told him you'd meet him in his practice room.

"Don't overthink it," your friend gave you a sympathetic look, "Maybe he's just not that great at expressing how he feels?" she shrugged, making you shrug with her, collecting your food.

"You're going to see him now, aren't you?" you nodded, giving her a grim look. "All the best," she laughed, waving you goodbye as you left in the direction of the practice room.

What you didn't expect to find was to see Sicheng lying on the floor of the dance studio, sprawled on his back, wearing the same checkered sweatpants and a plain white shirt. He looked as though he was sleeping, not making a single move even when you entered the room loudly.

"Sicheng?" you called, not seeing him move, finding his demeanour similar to when you'd seen him the previous week, sleeping off his stress when he was supposed to be fine-tuning the report with Ten.

You set your bag down next to his, bringing the packets of food as you made your way next to him, not wanting to disrupt his sleep but at the same time knowing he had to eat.

You decided to text Ten first, in the hope that it would give you some insight as to how Sicheng was feeling.

6:23pm - hey, how was Sicheng during practice today? -

ten 6:23pm -???? we didn't meet today we said today would be a rest day-6:23pm - why?? did smth happen? is he ok? -

Frowning, you checked the date, it was only a matter of days before Sicheng and Ten's showcase, and you could tell that Sicheng was nervous, especially judging from his behaviour today.

"Hey, Sicheng, wake up," you murmured seeing him frown, his eyes opening slowly to see you sitting next to him, blinking at you before letting out a deep sigh.

Sicheng felt as though he was in some sort of hazy dream, the sight of you and the smell of food making his head spin, not being able to quite remember how he ended up asleep on the floor.

"What were you doing here the whole day?" you worried, seeing him push himself off the floor to sit with his knees up, resting his folded arms on his knees.

"Practicing....I guess," he shrugged, his gaze travelling to the bag containing food that sat next to you.

Realizing what he was staring at, you started emptying out the bag, laying the food in front of the both of you.

"Here, eat," he nodded at you wordlessly, starting to open the packets to eat.

You felt a little concerned at his lack of a response, not knowing if your presence here was welcomed or not, but Sicheng was thankful, even if it was hard for you to see that.

"Ten told me you guys were supposed to have a rest day today," he looked at you and nodded, confirming it.

"And?" you asked. "What part about 'rest' in 'rest day' do you not understand?" your eyebrows knit together in a frown, unsure what Sicheng's take on this was.

"I had to practice, Y/N." he swallowed his food with a wince, and looking down you realized he was almost done with his food. "I needed to just shut myself in here and concentrate. I know myself best and I know that I wasn't putting my all into this the past few practices," he told you, making your frown deepen.

"What makes you think that?" you murmured, looking down at your food, poking at it for lack of appetite, your worry for him getting the better of you.

Sicheng looked at you with a nervous expression, looking as if he was withholding something. What was he supposed to answer to that? oh, because I couldn't stop thinking about you? or oh, because I keep wanting to get it over with so I can meet you after? or oh, because I'm so stressed about how I can't bring myself to tell you how much I like you?

His expression was blank, shrugging as he mumbled, "just a feeling."

"Look, I know, you're stressed, but you have to trust me when I say that I've seen your rehearsals and you and Ten are doing so well!" you murmured, not missing the way he sighed as he reached for the plastic bag, dumping his empty packaging into the bag and leaning back to rest his weight on his hands.

"That's different, Y/N. You're you, and the teachers are the teachers. Not to mention my parents."

You raised your eyebrows in confusion, prompting him to elaborate.

“You're a lot nicer to me than they are," he murmured.

You felt something in you hurt when you heard how defeated he sounded, giving him a reassuring smile, "Hey, when did that ever stop you?" you asked, seeing him look at you, a tiny glimmer of hope in his eyes, shaking his head.

"Stop running away from your problems, man, face them head on! Sleep's not gonna perfect your dance for you," you held your fists up in a gesture to cheer him on, seeing him shake his head with a smile, rolling his eyes as he got up from the floor, nodding.

"Can you help me?" he asked, telling you what he wanted you to look out for, and to help him find ways to improve his expression from an audience's perspective.

You nodded, finishing your food and setting it aside, jogging over to a space in front of the mirrors and sitting down in front of it, opening your packet drink as he passed you his phone, with the song on the screen already.

"Ready?" You asked with a smile, seeing him cast you a unsure glance, leaning his head back with a groan.

You'd pressed play to the song, seeing him start his routine, only when he'd gotten to the part where he had to do a one-handed cartwheel had he stopped after that, wanting to restart.

You paused the music, "What's wrong?"

He shook his head, looking at you with an expression you couldn't place the feeling of.

"Just calm down, relax. You know this routine by heart, just don't think about anything else.." you

saw him nod at you, getting back into his starting position.

"Ready?" he nodded again, and when you played the music this time, you could see how much more in his element he was, letting his movements flow, performing tricks with ease, not to mention the intensity with which he performed, almost like an upgrade from the past rehearsals you've seen.

Once the song ended, he looked at you with a shy smile, smiling widely even as he caught his breath, and you couldn't help yourself from cheering and clapping.

"That was great! Best I've seen from you by far," he gave you a look.

"Why were you so nervous about it anyway? You danced it so well!" you said, seeing him shake his head at you.

"You know contemporary dance isn't my specialty, right?" Your eyebrows raised, making him laugh his deep bubbly laugh, covering his head with his hands. The way he looked at you now was the mischievous kind of look he gave you whenever he knew something you didn’t.

"It isn't? Then what is your specialization?" you wondered, sipping on your drink as he did a small turn.

"Chinese traditional dance," you gasped, almost being able to imagine Sicheng dancing that style of dance, and how mesmerising he would look while doing so.

"Oh my god...can you show me?"

Sicheng laughed, "huh?" his tone was embarrassed, as if he was suddenly too shy to dance for you.

You nodded vigorously, "please, I really wanna see," you clasped your hands together, rubbing them together in a pleading gesture.

He nodded. 

"Anything for you," he told you in mandarin, you being to excited to fully process what he was saying.

"Can you reach in my bag and take out the fan?" he pointed to his bag, and you'd rolled over, reaching his bag and taking out a fan that was considerably bigger than you'd expected, handing it to him.

"This is really short, but just something I choreographed a while ago," he murmured, and you swore you saw a tint of pink shading his cheeks as he scrolled his phone for the song, pressing play and proceeding to dance the most enchanting thing you'd ever seen him dance.

You knew he was talented when you saw how he danced with Ten, but seeing him dancing something that he had so much skill in, so much technique and control over, it was like you'd fallen for him even more while watching him.

"Wow..." was all you could muster when he was done, turning back to you and hiding his face with the opened fan as he laughed, the way his tone would rise as he laughed serving to endear you even more to him if that was possible.

"What?" he asked you, making you shake your head, a giddy awestruck look on your face.

"I don't know how to describe it, but all Iknow is that I loved it," you told him, seeing him raise his hands dramatically, bowing dramatically in all directions.

"Thank you everybody!" he said in mandarin, sounding similar to those actors you would see at award shows.

You scoffed playfully, feigning hurt, stomping up to him, with your hands on your hips.

"Why are you thanking everyone! I'm the one who was encouraging you," you laughed, seeing his eyes widen.

Grinning at you, he blew a flying kiss to you with his fan.

"Oh, right, thank you, kiss kiss (么么哒)," he said, making you laugh.

"I don't know what that means but...i'll take it," you murmured, seeing him close the fan, looking at you with a tired smile. The kind of smile you would see in movies when the protagonist realizes he's in love, but in this case, Sicheng was the protagonist, and he was currently kicking himself on the inside because what are you doing!!! now is the perfect time to tell her you like her!!

But all Sicheng could do was smile, his words failing him at the worst of times, leaving an awful big load of tension between you two as you secretly hoped this movie-protagonist-in-love look would mean you would receive a slow-mo worthy confession now, only to get a shock when Sicheng had broken the silence.

"The tickets are with Xiaojun," he blurted, your potential movie-moment slipping away just as fast as Sicheng snapped his fan open, walking over to your bags and wrapping the plastic bag of your trash as a way for him to hide how frustrated he was with himself, scrunching his eyes up with an annoyed tilt of his head.

You were busy trying to hide your disappointment as well, using the time he was preoccupied with clearing the empty food packets to take deep breaths, calming your racing heart every time it remembered how close you came to revealing your feelings for him.

"Ready to go home?" he murmured, standing up and turning to face you, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

Recovering from your shock you nodded, "Yep, yeah. Let's go."

===

"Okay, let's do it again, just pretend I'm Y/N," Xiaojun said, not bothering to adjust his sitting posture, making it very hard for Sicheng to imagine the skinny boy in front of him chewing loudly on his lunch to be you.

Sicheng shot Renjun a helpless look, "save me, please."

Renjun shaking his head at the same time as Ten chimed in, "Me, me! I'd do it a lot better than Xiaojun," he claimed confidently, crossing his legs and straightening his posture, giving Sicheng a sensual look.

Sicheng shoved Ten, groaning, "None of you are actually helping, you know."

Renjun shook his head in disapproval at Xiaojun and Ten, pulling Ten out of his seat so he could sit in front of Sicheng, looking at the older boy with a neutral expression.

"Okay, pretend I'm Y/N, and just try to tell me something you've wanted to tell me for a while now," Renjun said simply, as if it should be second-nature for Sicheng to do.

"For someone who wants to go to an acting school, you really suck at this roleplay thing," Ten commented, arms folded over his chest as he watched Sicheng and Renjun.

"It's not as easy as you think, okay?" Sicheng groaned, “I regret asking you guys for help.”

Sicheng knew he’d only ended up in this situation after he told them what had happened in the dance studio the other day, the boys immediately initiating a plan to help their friend gain the courage to express his feelings to her.

“Focus!” Renjun clapped his hands in front of Sicheng, who had managed to get his expression to be neutral, his leg starting to bounce anxiously as he thought of what to say.

“Y/N,” he started, “well...you know...we’ve been friends for a...substantial amount of time now...”

“Cut!” Renjun yelled, making Sicheng frown, wondering what he said to make Renjun stop him so fast.

“Firstly, you’re not gonna confess to her in mandarin, are you? And second of all, that was the most unromantic starting sentence I've ever heard.” Sicheng sighed, switching to english.

“Okay, rewind.Y/N, I....” Sicheng felt himself start to second guess the sentences he had planned, suddenly feeling like for every way he could think of to confess to you, there would be a nicer way to do it that he would think of immediately after, making him stop himself, sighing again.

“You know maybe his saving grace will be that she still likes him even though he’s not very good with his words,” Xiaojun shrugged, making Sicheng shoot him a look.

“In all honesty, I feel like i’m okay expressing my feelings to her, just that I didn't know how she’d react, like, what if she wasn’t looking for a relationship-”  Xiaojun practically burst out laughing at that, shaking his head at Sicheng as the three of them looked at him in curiosity (and a little bit of concern).

“Believe me, you’re way off if you think that,” he laughed.

Sicheng gave him a look, “What do you mean?”

Xiaojun raised his hands in defence, “I mean, i’m not gonna out her, but all I’m gonna say is that the last thing you should be afraid of is that she isn’t looking for a relationship.”

Sicheng hummed thoughtfully at what Xiaojun was implying.

This thought lingered with Sicheng until the day of the showcase, when Sicheng had been greeted with the news that his teacher had invited his family to watch the showcase, and as if that wasn’t horrifying enough, they actually agreed.

“Dude,” Ten called at the jittery boy who was currently squatting behind the stage curtains, peeking out to search for his parents in the crowd, and silently hoping to God that he wouldn’t spot them.

When Sicheng hadn’t answered, Ten tried again, “Dude!” he called, louder this time.

Ten sighed when Sicheng’s head whipped around quickly, his expression panic-stricken.

Walking over to where Sicheng was squatting, he cast the boy a sympathetic look.

“I heard about the um...parents thing,” he told Sicheng, the mere reminder of it making Sicheng let out a deep breath he wasn’t aware that he was holding.

Sicheng felt suffocated, the murmuring of the crowd only seeming to grow in volume.

“I’m gonna go get some air,” Sicheng sighed, Ten letting him walk out, hoping the air would do his dance partner some good as well.

You had just reached the performance venue with Xiaojun, you were already seated with Xiaojun when you’d started to feel a little thirsty, wanting to step outside to find something you could drink. Already having bought your drink, you were about to make your way back, opening your phone because you’d wanted to send an encouraging message to Sicheng, almost groaning when you saw a text come in from Xiaojun.

Xiaojun 5:37pm - can you get me a water too pls ?? renjun wants a coke -

Sighing, you made your way back to the vending machine, about to take your wallet out again when you’d spotted someone seated at one of the benches near you, head buried in their hands.

Frowning, you wondered if they were alright, pushing the coins absentmindedly into the vending machine as you tried to lean back as much as you could to get a better view of the boy.

The boy had looked up, making eye contact with you and looking away quickly, his hands going up to wipe at his eyes, and you realized only then that that was Sicheng.

Frowning, you carried the drinks in your hand as you walked over to where he was sitting, taking as seat next to him on the bench, looking at him in concern.

“Hey, are you okay?” you frowned.

Sicheng had avoided your gaze, fidgeting with his hands as he shrugged. “My parents are here,” he finally sighed, making your eyes widen, knowing the implications behind that.

“It’s my first time actually performing in front of them...like, ever.”

You weren’t sure what came over you when you reached a hand out to grasp his gently, surprised when he’d fidgeted with your hand instead, letting you grasp his hand and you squeezed his gently, hearing a shaky sigh leave him.

“I want to make them proud. I really do. But I just feel like I’m not ready yet, I don't know why my teacher invited them without telling me I wasn’t prepared for this at all and I’m so-” he stopped abruptly, a sigh leaving his lips as he looked up, blinking rapidly to stop his tears from spilling out.

“So worried that they won’t have a reason to be proud of me after watching me.” he mumbled, his words muffled by his hand that reached up to dab at the tear that had rolled down his cheek.

“Hey,” you started, seeing him look towards you, inhaling deeply as he tried to regulate his breathing, “I know I won’t understand exactly how you feel, but I can tell you that if you really want to make them proud, your job is to go out there and show them just why you love performing so much. You’ve worked so hard up ‘til this point, there’s nothing else left for you to do other than to just show them the result of this hard work,” you told him, hoping your words made sense as you tried to console him.

“Xiaojun and Renjun are already inside. We know what you’re capable of, and we’ll be supporting you,” you flushed, suddenly feeling shy to be telling him this but going out on a limb and telling him anyway in your desperation to make him feel less anxious.

“I’ll be rooting for you,” you mumbled, looking away in your embarrassment, not noticing the way Sicheng’s lips had trembled, his eyes not welling up in tears but his throat feeling as though it was closing up on itself, his chest feeling like it was almost burning with warmth, wishing you hadn’t stood up so quickly.

“You should probably be going in, the showcase is gonna start soon,” you gestured to the entrance, picking up the drinks in your hands and turning to bid Sicheng goodbye, the boy contemplating whether or not to hug you, realizing his contemplating had made him miss his chance when he saw you walking away from him.

Later on, you felt yourself growing nervous as you saw Sicheng and Ten step onto the stage, the announcer introducing them and giving a small background about the piece they would be performing. Sicheng felt it too, shutting his eyes after he got into position and breathing slowly. Opening his eyes again, he’d made eye contact with Ten, who gave him a reassuring smile.

And you were glad to say he had danced more beautifully than you had ever seen before.

After the performance, he and Ten had gone outside the venue after it was over to take pictures with friends who had shown up, seeing you and Xiaojun waiting there, you nervously clutching a bouquet of flowers in your hand that Xiaojun basically forced you to buy.

Tugging at the sleeve of your sweater, you waited impatiently for Sicheng to finish taking pictures with his teachers and other friends—Renjun would joke and say your flowers would be dead by the time they were done— and Xiaojun had eventually gotten sick of waiting and dragged you by the arm to where Sicheng and Ten were, with Renjun following close behind.

“Hey guys,” Ten drawled when he saw you, Xiaojun and Renjun approaching, looking at Sicheng with a pointed look, nudging his head in your direction, to which Sicheng furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

“What?” he said in mandarin, eyes widening when he saw you holding out the bouquet of flowers for him, trying to distract yourself from the fact that the leather jacket he’d put over his performance outfit was distracting you greatly, having already given one bouquet to Ten while he was distracted.

“You guys wanna take a picture together?” you heard Renjun yell, and Xiaojun took that as his queue and pushed you towards Sicheng. You winced as you lost your balance with a yelp, only steadying yourself when Sicheng grabbed your arm, taking the flowers from you with a grateful nod.

“Stop being awkward,” Renjun mouthed with a glare, and you’d fixed your hair, suddenly feeling shy about your proximity to Sicheng, not knowing how to arrange your hands, but thankfully for the both of you, you had Ten on your side.

Sicheng had started simple, by placing his hand over your shoulder, his other hand holding the bouquet, tilting his head towards yours for the picture.

Meanwhile Renjun was hard at work bending down to find better angles to capture you both in.

“Okay..okayy,” you laughed, hoping you would hear that Renjun was done taking photos, but instead hearing Ten’s commentary as he watched Renjun taking photos of you.

“Okay, change pose,” he said, making you and Sicheng flustered, not knowing what other pose you could possibly do, Sicheng with his arm around your shoulder, looking at you with a tilt of the head as if to ask you what pose to do next, making you shrug.

“Should we just end it now?” he leaned closer to whisper, making you nod with a small wince.

Sicheng waved his hand dismissively, letting go of your shoulder and telling them that photo taking was over, Renjun putting his phone down with a huff and you swore he was muttering something about you guys being unappreciative.

They were all preoccupied with airdrop-ing the photos to each other, giving you a chance to properly congratulate Sicheng for successfully getting through his showcase, pulling him down for a hug to congratulate him, your heart jumping for joy at the comfort you felt when he hugged you back.

It felt like you hugged him for the longest time, and Sicheng knew this too, his free hand going up to cradle your head before pulling away, embarrassed that you’d hugged him in front of Ten, Renjun and Xiaojun.

You glanced at Sicheng, searching his expression and noticing how his eyes looked a little teary and bloodshot.

“Thanks for coming,” he murmured, his voice sounding slightly shaky which made him clear his throat quickly, making Renjun scoff.

“Did we have a choice? Ten would’ve killed us if we didn’t show up,” Renjun rolled his eyes.

“Did you tell her about the party yet?” you heard Ten ask, seeing you frown in confusion.

“What party?” you asked him.

His eyes widened in realisation, “Oh, right.  I'm having a christmas party kind of thing, and i was wondering if you wanna come?”

You thought about it, Christmas wasn’t until next week, so you were pretty sure you would have enough time to prepare something to wear for the party.

“When is it?”

“Uh..we wanted it to kind of happen early because Ten’s flying home for Christmas, and I’m flying to China to go see my grandparents for christmas as well, so we were thinking of having it this Saturday?” he asked, and you’d glanced at your phone for confirmation.

This meant you had 3 days to prepare gifts for them and figure out what you were gonna wear.

“Oh.....well, alright then, that’d be nice,” you nodded, slowly recovering from your shock to give him a smile.

“Should I be anticipating your gift?” he asked, making you shake your head firmly.

“God, please don’t. I suck at giving gifts,” you laughed, “should i be anticipating yours?” you asked, just for the fun of it, both of you not expecting the way Sicheng had simply nodded.

“Yes, I'd like you to.”

===

That very statement was what left Sicheng a whining mess up until the day of the party, trying to figure out what the hell had compelled him to say that when he didn’t even have a proper gift in mind yet, almost contemplating asking his mom for advice when he heard her loudly packing in her bedroom.

“Ma,” he’d burst her bedroom door open, realizing with a disappointed sigh that it was his dad and not his mom.

“Your mom’s downstairs,” he told Sicheng, who had then promptly ran down the stairs of his house, finding his mother in the living room wrapping apples for the people she’d planned on giving them to on Christmas.

That’s when it hit him, he knew what he was going to give you for Christmas.

You on the other hand, weren’t having such luck in the gift department. You wanted to get Sicheng something meaningful and nice, but for lack of better ideas you decided on buying Sicheng a new set of headphones. You were familiar with Sicheng’s complaints about his parents nagging him for staying up late whenever he was gaming his parents since he didn’t use headphones, being too lazy to buy them, so you figured you’d do both him and his parents a favour with this gift.

Whereas for Ten, Xiaojun and Renjun (the only ones you actually knew who were going for this party) you’d already settled their gifts. So to any other person, you would have seemed to have everything under control, except, you had no idea what to wear.

Ten had tried helping you, suggesting you should wear something comfortable since it was cold out, but you weren’t necessarily sure how to impress Sicheng with your comfortable clothes, eventually letting Ten pick out for you a simple outfit, even forcing you to wear a scarf over it because he claimed Sicheng would think you looked cute.

So you trusted him (whether this was a good choice or a bad choice is up to you, really), and had brought your gifts, specially and individually wrapped, along with your own little handwritten note to Sicheng, and followed Ten to the party.

Only upon reaching were you truly thankful that he’d made you wear a scarf, it was cold out, and you were thankful that Sicheng’s house had pretty good heating. Not that you didn’t like being in the cold, you were just pretty sure you wouldn’t have liked it as much if you’d gone with your previous outfit choice.

Walking into the party, you’d spotted Xiaojun quickly, walking over to where he was in the kitchen, Ten having left you to greet the other guys Sicheng invited that you weren’t familiar with.

“Hey,” he waved, the sleeve of his oversized sweater engulfing his arm, making him look even smaller than usual.

Your greeting came out muffled as you loosened your scarf, hanging it around your neck loosely instead, “Have you seen Sicheng?” you asked, seeing him shake his head.

Feeling a little more than disappointed, you’d taken a drink from him before looking around the house, realizing that maybe Sicheng was a little more well-off than he’d let on, impressed by the warm lighting accompanying the chandeliers and very comfortable looking sofas, you’d been dragged by Renjun to join their movie session in the living room, only then realizing that Sicheng was there, engrossed in the Narnia movie that was playing on his (big) television set.

“Y/N’s finally here,” Ten’s voice had captured Sicheng’s attention, the boy turning around in his seat to look at you, and only then did you realize how good he looked.

Wearing a thick dark green sweater and jeans that were folded up at the bottom, not to mention his hair was styled up, he turned to you with a wave, patting the seat next to him as an invitation to sit there. In your attempt to get over your shock over his outfit, you took your time in placing the gifts at the Christmas tree, bringing his gift to where he sat, tucking it between your legs and the sofa as you sat down, realizing the space was tighter than you’d expected, making you have to squeeze shoulder to shoulder with Sicheng- almost spilling your drink in the process.

“Are those glasses real?” you whispered, not wanting to interrupt the rest of the guys who were watching the movie, the younger looking one sitting next to Renjun with bright orange hair eyeing you and Sicheng with a knowing look.

Sicheng shook his head.

“Nope, they were a gift from Jaehyun,” he pointed at one of the guys sitting on the floor next to the coffee table, wearing a black sweater and very ripped jeans.

“I’m wearing them because he was so insistent that I didn't like them,” he explained, and you desperately wished he would whisper because the way his hushed tone sounded so near to you wasn’t doing anything in calming you down.

“When did you get here?” he asked, making you shrug, not really wishing to disclose the time you spent in the kitchen hiding from the crowd.

“Not long ago, I was just in the kitchen with Xiaojun,” you told him, the mention of the kitchen directing his attention to the cup in your hand, leaning over to sniff it, his proximity to your face making you lean back.

Leaning back after sniffing your drink, he raised an eyebrow at you, “You drink this stuff?” his voice was surprised to say the least, relief washing over him when you shook his head.

“I don’t even know what it is, I just took it from Xiaojun but it smells like the hospital,” you made a face of disgust, hearing him let out a huff of laughter, grabbing your arm that was holding the drink and bringing it up to his face, downing it in one go before taking the cup from your hands and leaning forward to place it on the coffee table, returning to his original position and giving you a small smile.

“One less thing to worry about,” he shrugged, and you went back to watching the movie, seeing that it was only at the part where Edmund meets the witch.

The more you watched, you felt your head start to loll back, not realizing the movie had ended and the guys were now trying to decide whether to play 2 truths and 1 lie.

Sicheng had purposely shifted around in his seat more to wake you up before you could fall asleep, your head shooting up quickly, catching the attention of a few of them who turned to look at you curiously.

“Y/N, you wanna play 2 truths and 1 lie?” Renjun asked, making you frown.

“I really suck at that game though..”

Sicheng gave you a reassuring look, about to say something when he was interrupted.

“C’mon, in the spirit of christmas!” Xiaojun had chimed in to encourage you, earning nods and cheers of agreement from the rest of them scattered around the room.

Hearing the sound of them putting on a christmas playlist, you’d felt encouraged for some reason, giving a small shrug of agreement. You figured it wouldn’t be that bad.

That was until it was Sicheng’s turn and you found yourself panicked beyond belief, growing more nervous to see what he would say.

“Hmmm...okay, got it, I have someone I'm interested in, I have mistletoe hanging in here, and I’m afraid of heights.”

The boys had immediately chimed in with their various opinions, Ten shooting Xiaojun an impressive look at Sicheng for being so bold with his choice of truths, being the only ones that knew of Sicheng’s...character development. Though they weren’t sure if it was because of the drinks he had prior to that or whether he was simply feeling confident today.

“This one’s easy!” a guy with short brown hair had raised his hand, “The lie is obviously that he’s interested in someone, he hasn’t been interested in anyone for ages,” he’d said confidently, making Sicheng smile, just as another boy had chimed in.

“I feel like he had mistletoe here somewhere at the last party, though,” a younger-looking boy said, earning a, “You wish, Mark.” from another boy with a sharper pitched voice and very pretty tan skin.

“The lie is.....” Sicheng made a cute sound that he’d always done before announcing things, “I have mistletoe in here,” he said, the crowd of boys erupting in shouts and protests at the answer before moving on to the next person, who had seemed to capture their attention for long enough.

“Wanna go upstairs? I wanted to like..give you your present...and stuff,” Sicheng leaned over to ask you softly, making you nod, grabbing his present and following him upstairs, the boys noticing but choosing not to say anything.

Once you’d gotten upstairs, he stopped you for a while so he could go into his room, coming out with a small paper bag and continuing to lead you upstairs, glad you hadn’t taken off your scarf when he’d opened a door to the rooftop, revealing different plants and even a stone walkway leading up to a sheltered wooden planked area where you sat down with him, looking through the transparent glass of the balcony at the buildings of his neighbourhood, finding it cute how he had little lights hanging from the shelter.

You’d sat in silence initially, enjoying the feeling of the cold breeze against your cheeks, shutting your eyes instinctively in your attempt to savour the feeling.

“Thank you, by the way.”

You opened your eyes, eyebrows raising at Sicheng, “Oh, it’s no big deal, I didn’t have anything planned for today so-”

“No, not for coming today. I mean, that too but...I sort of meant for like..comforting me the other day,” Sicheng looked at you, a small shy smile playing at his lips, “I really needed that.”

Your lips parted, wondering what made him suddenly want to thank you for that. Choosing to give him a nod, you shook your head, “I really did mean what I said.”

Sicheng nodded, “I know.” He smiled, letting his gaze travel elsewhere as he stretched his legs out in front of him, swaying them side to side as he tried to contain his smile.

“Can I go first? My gift is pretty underwhelming,” you said, seeing him let out a tiny giggle but nod nonetheless, taking that as your queue to take out your gift from the bag, giving him the wrapped package of the headphones, watching him rip the packaging open casually, his eyes widening when he realized what it was. He’d placed the envelope containing your christmas letter for him gingerly back into the bag.

“Oh my god.... thank you so much,” he said, his eyes practically sparkling with how much he’d liked the present, making you shake your head.

“Use them well, okay?” you murmured, seeing him hesitantly reach over to pick up the bag containing his present for you, only serving to heighten your curiosity for what could’ve been in that bag.

“Okay, oh my god, why am i so shy,” you heard him whisper, making you laugh, “Hold your hands out and close your eyes,” he instructed, making you do as you were told, anticipating your present, shocking you when you’d felt something cold in your hands, opening your eyes to see....an apple?

“Is this another one of your jokes,” you pouted, seeing him shake his head, staring at the apple as if looking for answers.

“My family, uh...we have this like..tradition thing, where we give apples to people for christmas... like....to the people we care about,” he murmured, a shy smile gracing his features, looking up at you to see your reaction, wanting to reach over and pinch your cheeks when he saw your wide eyed expression, gripping the apple tightly in your hands.

Sicheng shivered at how cringeworthy he felt his words were, his hands going up to cup his neck, and for a moment you were distracted by his actions, concern for him taking over your shock.

“Are you cold? Do you want my scarf?” you asked, genuinely concerned for him only having a sweater to protect him from the cold.

Sicheng burst into laughter, looking at you with a raised eyebrow, “Isn’t that usually the other way around?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, only realizing then the context of what you’d said, making you hide your face with the apple in embarrassment, feeling him pull the apple away from your face, tilting his head at you in amusement.

“As I was saying....i would give you a thousand apples if i could, but that was impractical and sounded like a lot of work, but I just want you to know that if I could, I would have. But okay back to the point, the point is that, I care about you...like, a lot,” he paused, pressing his lips together and taking in a deep breath, “and not just as a friend.”

You pressed your lips together in a firm line, biting down on your lower lip trying to keep your composure, shyness taking over you at how close you were to Sicheng, not to mention what he was saying, especially given the context of the situation.

“Was that what you meant? When..you said just now during the game that you were uh... interested in someone?” you plucked up your courage to ask, seeing him bite the inside of his cheek, nodding wordlessly at you.

“Just kinda wanna know if this person’s interested in me too,” he murmured, making your cheeks heat up, wishing he hadn’t taken the apple from your hands so you had something to hold onto.

You nodded, “She is-i mean, yeah. I am,” you blurted, fumbling with your words like an idiot (a very love struck idiot, in fact).

Sicheng nodded, his smile growing wider, and just like that, it was like everything was more obvious to you, the sound of the christmas songs playing echoing up through the open door of the rooftop, to the sound of the guys fooling around downstairs, down to the sound of the cold breeze bristling your faces, and the warm lighting around you both. Sicheng felt it too, and now it was his turn to feel like the protagonist of the movie, now having to find something smooth to say that would make his love interest kiss him and then the story can end happily.

But Sicheng being Sicheng, just blurted out the next thing that came to his head, “Oh, look, how convenient, mistletoe,” he commented, glancing up at the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling of the shelter, dangling over your heads mockingly.

You gasped, “You totally lied just now, that was 2 lies,” you laughed, seeing him shake his head.

“In my defense, I told them ‘in here’, they just happened to interpret that as the living room,” he shrugged, your laughter dying down as he looked at you, fiddling with the apple in his hands.

“Can I..kiss you?”

You smiled, pretending to hesitate, “Let me consider.”

In his offence, he’d reacted quickly in rushed mandarin, “You still need to consider?! Isn’t it just agreeing!”

Nodding at him, he’d leaned forward, removing his glasses and setting it aside with your apple, bringing up a hand to hold it under your chin, tilting your head up as he connected your lips, smiling at how you could feel his hand slide under your scarf, placing at your neck gently, his hand doing a lot better at warming your neck than your scarf did, following his lead in the kiss.

You almost frowned when you felt Sicheng pull away slowly, but he didn’t give you a reason to. Sicheng’s other hand came up to rest gently against your cheek as he pressed soft kisses to the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, letting out an amused huff before he pressed a final soft kiss to your forehead, suddenly feeling like you were indoors, warmth enveloping you despite being outside in the cold.

You’d leaned over to rest your head against his shoulder, “Can we stay like this for a while before going back down?” you murmured softly, practically being able to hear him smile.

He continued in mandarin, his voice not making you shiver this time, but instead, comforting you beyond belief.

“Anything you say is fine by me.”

===

You’d gotten a video call from Sicheng on New Years Eve, celebrations had ended and you were already tucked into bed, slightly buzzed from the drinks you had at your house with Xiaojun and Renjun earlier when they’d come over for dinner, claiming you didn't have Sicheng here to drink your drinks for you so you might as well enjoy it.

“Hey,” he murmured, lying on his bed in his checkered pajamas, resting his head on his arm as he gave you a smile.

“Hi,” you said, giving him a lazy smile, making him raise an eyebrow in amusement at your buzzed-looking state.

“I see you’ve had more than a couple drinks with Xiaojun and Renjun just now?” you laughed, nodding, prompting him to continue, “I know it’s a little late, but...I just read your christmas note you gave me,” he told you.

“You’re only reading it now?”

He scoffed, nodding as if you should’ve known that, “Yeah, of course, I was saving it so I could read it on Christmas day itself...but I didn’t have the time and then the only good time I had was now and now...after reading it, it made me wanna call you because...I missed you,” he murmured, changing his position so he was resting his chin on his arm.

You scrunched your nose up out of shyness.

“Since when did you get so bold?” you laughed, seeing him shake his head.

“Anyway,  I just wanted to check in on you. Had a good day today?” you nodded, telling him all the minor details about your day as he nodded, smiling and laughing and commenting every so often.

You’d listened to the details of his day as well.

“We just finished dinner, thought i would call you now before they all gather in the living room to watch movies,” he told you.

Nodding in understanding, you yawned, blinking tiredly, making him huff. “You should go to sleep now, i’ll talk to you more tomorrow....” he murmured, seeing you give him a tired yet reluctant nod.

“I’m really sorry, I wanna talk to you more because you’re spending New Year’s over there but the sleep is starting to creep up on me,” you pouted.

Shaking his head, he simply looked at you with that same relieved smile he gave you, realizing just how much he liked you, the extent threatening to tip over the line dividing like and love.

“Happy New Year, cheng cheng,” you teased, recalling what you heard his grandma call him, seeing him bury his head in his arm, his laugh muffled but no less cute.

“Happy New Year, Y/N.”

You’d ended the call, and his mother had walked into the room, a knowing look on her face, “Done with your sappy phone call yet?” she teased.

Sicheng simply sighed, flopping onto his back with a giddy smile on his face.

“Ma, I think I'm in love.”

[gamerwoo]

5 works of 2020

thank you @queen-of-himbos​ for tagging me!!!

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want so we can spread the love and link each other awesome works.

. ⋅˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ ⋅˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

1. Seventeen: The Xperiments

bro idk i watched a fuck ton of bong joon ho movies and this idea happened and im so proud of it. it’s kinda fucked up (really fucked up) but it’s my baby i love it (AND i made some moodboards based off the characters that im also super proud of so pls check those out too!!!)

2. [TftP] Jihoon: Unfamiliar

i love the entire tftp series but I never wrote Unfamiliar in the original version because I never reached it, so that was a series that I 100% wrote myself this year instead of just editing parts

3. Jihoon: Number One Fan

i don’t know what brought on this idea. i guess i just kinda thought “what if an idol dated a streamer” bc like i always hear streamers listening to kpop nowadays and i used to wanna be a famous streamer?? i guess that’s how this happened lmao

4. Pentagon as mafia members / how you met them

these are just some headcanon-type posts, but i wanted to include them because i wanna do something with them eventually. but yeah i really like the concepts and whatnot and i find them interesting

5. Ateez: The Pack Next Door

i wanted to do ateez imprinted but i had ideas for stories and mates already so i figured why not make a werewolf series that i can make on my own instead of a request-based one. so i made tpnd!!! 

. ⋅˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ ⋅˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .  

Going through my masterlist, I feel like I hardly wrote anything this year and I’m really sorry. Most of the stuff I’ve been posting is stuff from like, 2018 that I just took down and edited and reposted. But even that stuff, I’m still proud of. Seeing how my writing has grown makes me proud because it means I’ve grown, too, y’know? But please check out the rest of my mlists because I have some older gems in there!!

Tagging: @sunlightwoo @hansols-yoda-boxers @sadienita @kwanisms (i’m sorry if y’all have done this already!!!)

[starjeno]

destined | l.mh | 3

genre: fluff | soulmate!au, genderswap!au pairing: student!mark x female!reader warnings: bad words? word count: 1973 summary: it’s a fact of life that soulmates swap bodies. when mark wakes up in a bed that isn’t his, he’s delighted. you, on the other hand, absolutely despise it. a/n: filler chapter, sorry! and i know it’s been a while since i’ve posted. also, i gave the roommate a name finally. 

the sunset filtering through your curtains fills the room with hazy light. it’s soft and golden and comforting, but it does little to placate your roommate. her arms remain crossed over her chest as you pace by the mini-fridge nervously, waiting for this interrogation to end.

“okay, but what did yuta say?” she’s already somehow familiarized herself with the names of the people involved, and while it took some time for her to get used to your new appearance, she currently seems to have grown accustomed to it. you groan, “i told you, yuta likes this whole thing. he just ignored me and then said that i should take mark into consideration.”

“why can’t mark take you into consideration instead?” she retorts. you huff, “i told you this too! mark also thinks i like this whole thing!”

“well? do you?”

you can’t help the hesitation that bubbles up in your throat when you think about the events of earlier. the rapid beating of your heart and the heat in the tips of your ears and the strange familiarity that accompanied each of mark’s words — he felt like a missing puzzle piece, like someone you loved in a past life, and you didn’t like how you unconsciously gravitated towards him as he spoke. 

then again, you only saw him for a few hours, so maybe you’re overexaggerating. you shake your head firmly, “i don’t! you know that! i don’t want any of this!”

she gives you an unplaceable look, her eyes filled with contemplation, before groaning and sitting up, “let’s go out to eat. you’ve had a rough day.”

“you’ll pay?”

“yeah,” she sighs, running a hand through her hair, “i don’t want you to confuse the cashier with your credit card info. let’s get out of here.”

it’s a blessing that your roommate has kun. she’s accumulated enough of his clothing that your new body has a decent selection to choose from. though the clothes all fit loosely, you figure tucking your dress shirt into your pants and looping a belt tightly through should make sure your outfit is secure. she stands in the doorway as she watches you change, blushing feverishly when she associates your initial meeting with yuta with the boxers that now hug you snugly. 

“where do you feel like eating?” 

you hum in thought as you grab a cap, “honestly? kun’s place. he makes such good food.”

she rolls her eyes before dialing her boyfriend’s number on the phone. it rings for a few seconds until the line clicks and you hear a deep voice fill the speaker, “what’s up? you only call at this time when you’re hungry. or horny. or both. please don’t be both.”

“uh, just hungry. also, ____ and i have something we should tell you,” she mumbles, “i’ll be over in five.”

she hangs up before looking over to me and sighing, "i'll do your hair."

as you sit down in front of a mirror and watch your roommate squeeze out a frightening amount of gel onto her palm, you can't help but think about mark again. it's hard not to since his face is the reflection and it shines with a bright optimism that you currently lack. you attempt a half-hearted smile to make his features seem pleasant; it feels wrong when his face frowns.

meanwhile, the girl behind the chair slicks your hair in a neat quiff, sparing a few strands to fall onto your forehead casually. you look handsome, and you're somewhat pleased that kun's first impression of your soulmate will be great on terms of looks.

not that you cared particularly. you don't. you aren't even sure you know what a mark is, much less feel as if others should approve of him.

"there, let's go," she hums, wiping her hands off with a towel and spritzing some floral scent on the two of you before walking out. you follow reluctantly.

kun's apartment is cute and filled with small plants that are groomed to perfection. little canvases with a dramatic ink strokes line the walls above the television and couches, and pens are littered in the corners of every room. there's even a pen tucked into the pocket of the man himself, who is still in the ironed dress shirt he went to work in.

his smile radiates as the two of you walk into the hall, but you can sense the air tension rise, “mina and . . . a friend?”

“ha ha, very funny, kun. you won’t believe who this is,” your roommate grins as you two sit down. kun pauses for a bit before backing into his kitchen, grabbing a spare pan to add on top of the stove, thinking, “uh, a cousin? your long-lost brother? i thought ____ was coming over.”

“exactly,” she huffs before motioning over to you, “meet mark, or better known as ____ in mark’s body.”

kun gasps and points the pan at you accusingly, laughter lacing his voice, “oh my god, you fucking swapped?”

you grin and place a hand to drag the pot down, “i know, it’s crazy.”

“at least he’s cute,” the dimpled boy chuckles, sighing in disbelief. he definitely knew you well.

“agreed,” you smile a bit and your roommate shoots you a short-lived glare before looking at kun, “so we came here to destress from such a horrific event by eating your food.”

“that sounds like a plan . . . ,” he muses, a small smile growing on his face as he takes out cooking oil, “you guys can just chill, and i’ll have something cooked up in ten.”

as soon as you pull your phone out, a notification slides onto a screen. you bite your lip as the social messaging app displays the message of a new follower, and when you hold down for more details, you instantly recognize the handle.

mark. he must've searched you up, and if he's managed to follow you on here, he's probably found all your socials by now. as if on cue, you see three more notifs slide gracefully on your phone, beaming with a new friend request. you aren’t sure if you’re happy or annoyed, or a bit of both, but you hold down and open the app to find a new direct message awaiting your approval.

mark1ee (online): hi! sorry if this is creepy but i figured we’re friends now, so...

good lord. you bite your lips to keep from laughing at his shyness, finding it adorable, and avert your eyes from your phone. mina glares at you quizzically, raising a brow as if to ask what you’re amused at, but you simply shake your head emphatically and begin to type back.

you: how’d you know my last name? there’s probably more than one ____ out there. mark1ee is typing . . .

"here, some cheesy ass lasagna. i put, like, five different kinds of cheese in there, or just whatever was in my fridge.” kun slides two plates to you and your roommate and grabs the nearest chair to sit. he looks at you as you tentatively poke at the stuffing, “i didn’t poison it, you know.”

“shut up, i’m critiquing it!” you laugh as you place a food-filled fork in your mouth, smiling at the instant flavor, “whoa, i forgot how good you are at this.”

he lowers his brows as he smiles, “you mean you forgot my job is in the culinary arts?” 

you face downwards as kun strikes up a conversation with your roommate and glance at the notification on your phone. it doesn’t take a moment of hesitation for you to swipe and check mark’s message.

mark1ee (online): i checked the profile pictures. it would be a lot easier to make sure i’m contacting the right person if i had your number ;) you: how smooth. how do i know this is the mark i met earlier today? mark1ee (online): already asking for pics? damn. mark1ee sent a photo mark1ee (online): i forgot that it’s basically just a pic of you lmao :/ now pls send #

you snort and look up to find your roommate and kun staring at you intently. you wave your hand dismissively, "funny meme, sorry."

they give you a strange look before resuming the conversation, and you hide your phone under your leg before digging into the meal before you.

"so, what's going on?"

at the question, yuta sighs as mark walks in, his hand rubbing a towel through his wet hair, "winwin is coming back early. a week early."

"are you not excited?" mark quips. the older male tiredly grins, "i'm excited, believe me. but i'm worried that i won't pay enough attention to your switch."

mark frowns, the wrinkles ruining the feminine face, "i'll be fine. she just sent me her number!"

he takes a seat by yuta and faces the flatscreen in front, his glossy eyes reflecting the bright lights of the video game. yuta glances at his long lashes and soft brows for a moment before resuming the screen, "damn, good job. maybe you have enough game to survive without me."

"wha- fuck you! and you'll still be here!" mark laughs, picking up the other controller.

"i'm running away with winwin, by the way," yuta jokes. he lets mark join the round before pressing the buttons again, "now that you have her number, what are you going to do? ask her on a date?"

mark freezes. he hadn't even thought of what to do, and right now, yuta feels like a personal certified love guru. what a great fucking idea! before he could spend more time admiring yuta's genius, mark drops the controller and sends a new text to you, hoping for a stroke of luck.

he didn't really need luck though. he had literally found his soulmate that morning.

you: wanna go on a date? nctzn (online): how would i get clothes, doof? i'm wearing my roomie's bf's shit now :/ you: well, keep wearing them and i'll buy myself a dress? i don't care what you wear though, i'm not a great dresser.

mark is lying to his new form. he had always considered himself as someone with a good eye for outfits and color coordination. he sighs as the green dot by your profile that signifies your online presence fades away, and he figures he should probably find another way to pass the time while you’re offline. yuta waits expectantly, “well?”

“clothing’s an issue. and i don’t even know where i should take her,” mark grins, “it’s going to feel so weird, like going on a date with myself? trippy.”

“you’ll survive, it’s not like you’re ugly,” yuta sighs as he rolls his eyes with exasperation. mark doesn’t respond. he’s too preoccupied with the idea of you to even process yuta’s words. he’s never felt so giddy about a girl before — even his middle school crushes never got him feeling this jittery. conversation with you flowed so smoothly, and even mark knew how strange it was to feel this way after one conversation. 

he’s glad you reciprocate his feelings. everything’s he heard about soulmates seems to be true: you fit him well. mark knows he should be a little more hesitant, but this is finally a dream come true. you’re a dream come true. 

you: let’s go on a date tmrw then? nctzn (online): ok why not

mark glances up at the bright orange sky. the sun has only just started to set and the evening barely grazes the warm colors. are you just as happy as he is now? is your head filled with thoughts of him, the same way he can’t stop thinking about you?

mark’s pauses, not sure if he should dare to think his next question, but the idea floats in his head anyway and he turns pink with embarrassment.

yuta turns away, silent.

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