#lmao must be random but I didn’t expect that they made him such a creep from time to time

[ynnu-64]

[shurelyasreverie]

Viego soulmate au oneshot? thank you :)

Hi anon! I'll be making this soulmate AU the “what is drawn on your arm shows up on your soulmate” trope since it's become a bit of a running series on this blog lmao

Viego x Reader Soulmate AU

Warning: Mentions of blood

He had finally done it. The Black Mist was now more than just a distant legend of the Shadow Isles, it was a nearby terror that had conquered half of Bilgewater. In the dead of night, where Mist and shadows couldn't be distinguished, Viego advanced onward, increasing his domain. The unfortunate live bodies that he came across, he would do the same thing. His blade pressed to their throat, the simple question of “Where is Isolde?” would determine their fate.

Another unsatisfactory answer, another body slain. Viego let out a growl of frustration. Why can't he ever find the answers he was looking for? In his anguish, he had even carved the question into his arm, desperate for some answer from the spirit realm that had forsaken him. But his arm didn't bleed, only emanating more Black Mist from the wound.

Even in his living years, thousands of years ago, there were whispers of him having a “soulmate”. One where what he wrote on his arm would appear on his true lovers' and vice versa, however he never met them. All mages and oracles pitied him just like the rest of his subjects, claiming his soulmate had died or simply didn't exist. The spirit realm had abandoned him and his yearning for companionship, until he managed to find a decent replacement. But for years, even the replacement has abandoned him. The spirits tried to doom him to an eternity of loneliness, but he will not accept this fate.

Wandering through the Mist, his next unknowing victim couldn't hear as he stalked up to you from behind. A sadistic smirk started to creep up onto his face. You were already whimpering, distracted, hunched over as you looked down at yourself. Viego couldn't tell what distracted you so but he couldn't care less.

Ambushing you from behind, blade up against your neck, his cheek against your (H/C) locks as he whispered in your ear.

“Where is Isolde?”

He felt your figure tremble under his hold. Your panic as you didn't understand what was going on, but you managed to angle your head back, just enough to take a look at his face and for him to look at yours. He froze. There was something about your (E/C) orbs that captivated him so. They shone with a special light. Despite looking absolutely terrified there was a quiet resilience in the small furrowing of your eyebrows. So earnest, so genuine. And then he looked down at your arm.

Your arm had the very words he asked embedded in your skin, bleeding. His heart raced. He had found you, the one who they said would never come for him.

“I... I'll help you look for her.”

He instinctively smiled. All his past victims had pathetically said they didn't know, or dared lied to try and stay alive. But only you had offered your services. He wouldn't expect anything less from his soulmate.

“There'll be no need for that.”

Viego drew back his blade, letting it dissipate in the Black Mist. He turned you around, his hands on your shoulders, letting you have sight of his forearm.  He saw your eyes widen at the identical markings on his arm. His heart ached at the red that covered your arm, the guilt tearing at his chest. Oh, what a terrible mistake, he's made! Not only has he been looking for the wrong one all these years, but has harmed the very one he was meant to protect. He couldn't imagine how frightened you must've been, to have random words etched into your skin with a hidden blade as you went through life. His hands lightly wrapped around your forearm, he channelled the Black Mist to concentrate around it. The Mist thickened until it was opaque, you'd no longer have to see those ugly markings, and hopefully the Mist felt cool and relieved some of the pain.

“It’s been too long, my love...” he pulled you towards him, his arms wrapping around your body. You seemed to understand the importance of the marks on your arm, how you two were tied. “You must be confused, I will explain it all in due time.”

He let the Black Mist thicken around you, making sure no one saw you, keeping you safe. A smile was plastered on his face. He was no longer alone.

[heyyyharry]

Harry suggests they watch Fifty Shades of Grey together

(a blurb from the Flatmate Series / pre-relationship)

Word count: 2.6k

Warning: heavy sexual tension and mention of smut, but also a lot of fluff. 

Yes, I had to rewatch the film and fast-forward to the sex scenes to write in such details lmao. This is my favourite flatmate blurb at the moment 😂

.

.

.

“Let’s watch Fifty Shades of Grey tonight.”

Y/N widened her eyes at Harry. She thought he was joking, but as he entered the title onto Netflix, she snatched the remote from his hand immediately.

“It’s my turn to pick the movie,” she said, making him scoff.

“No, it’s my turn. You picked the movie for two weeks in a row because last week I couldn’t decide between Coraline and Corpse Bride, remember?”

Y/N huffed as she gave the remote back to him. She wasn’t into the idea at all, but she was curious to know why he insisted on picking this one and not one of those ‘everyone’s favourite’ movies that he would normally pick.

“Harry.”

“What?”

“Isn’t this movie about sex?” Y/N muttered as her cheeks turned pink. Fortunately, her flatmate was looking at the screen.

“Yeah.” He shrugged. “It’s not like porn though. Don’t worry.”

“Have you watched it before?”

“No, but everyone says it’s bad.”

“Then why do you wanna watch it? Let’s put on something good! Something with Timothée Chalamet!”

“I’m tired of Timothée Chalamet!”

“No one is tired of Timothée Chalamet! You suck!”

Harry stopped before he was about to press play and turned to her, raising his eyebrows. “Well, you can watch your Timmy when you’re alone. Tonight we’re watching this terrible movie for a change. It’s gonna be fun.”

Y/N tossed her head back as she groaned. “You’re making me watch this because I said no to watching porn with you!”

“Not true! Don’t disrespect porn like that!” He scoffed. “Porn makes you horny, this will be like a nice little comedy. I mean, the books are shit on paper, this should be worse.”

“You’ve read the books?”

“I’ve read one chapter. I was a curious horny teenager, don’t judge me.”

“All right then.” She sighed and let him press play. “If it gets weird, we’re turning it off.”

.

.

.

The movie turned out to be more entertaining than they had expected, especially when they had unintentionally started a competition to see who could point out more mistakes. Harry was definitely winning, but Y/N didn’t mind. She was in hysterics as he kept throwing in random comments about every single scene.

“Why does she keep biting her lip? What’s wrong with her lip?”

“Did he fucking track her phone?! This guy’s a stalker!”

“Never get too drunk when you go out, Y/N. I don’t want you to end up in some creep’s...sex dungeon!”

But when came the first sex scene, Harry was as quiet as a mouse. He had expected it to be ridiculously unrealistic like the whole idea of the story, but this scene was actually kind of...hot?

Y/N didn’t even notice his sudden silence. Her eyes were fixed on the screen and he had to steal a glance at her when Christian laid a naked Ana down on the bed and started eating her out.

Y/N was nibbling on her lip. Even though she didn’t show much from her facial expression, seeing the way she switched to a different sitting position with her legs crossed, Harry assumed the scene was doing something to her too. For some reason, watching two characters fucking turned him on less than watching his flatmate squirming because of it.

He assumed this would have been fun to watch with his friends, but was definitely a terrible choice for a movie night with his crush. Now he couldn’t help but imagine himself making love to her like that. It must have been a long time since she slept with someone. If only he could show her what she’d been missing and made her feel so good she wouldn’t wish to be with anyone else. Even that stupid actor Timothée Chalamet.

“That was...something.” Y/N released a sharp breath once the scene was over and turned to smile at Harry.

He smiled back, wanting to throw in a joke to clear the tension but his mind was completely blank at this point. They were only forty-five minutes in. He wasn’t sure if he could get through two hours without at least an erection. God, he was so fucking screwed.

“She’s got a nice little butt,” Y/N said as the actress stood fully naked with her back to the mirror. He supposed she wanted to make this less awkward for them, but now he couldn’t stop thinking about her butt.

“You’ve got a nice butt too.” He nudged her with his shoulder and she slapped him on the arm.

“You’ve never seen my butt!” Then her mouth fell open. “Have you?!”

“No! It was just a guess!” I wish I had though, he thought as Y/N pushed his face away and looked back at the screen.

The next sex scene came right after. Harry almost cursed out loud when Christian tied Ana’s wrists together with a tie, thank God the mum showed up and interrupted the couple before they fucked again. Y/N burst out laughing, and he did too, but out of relief.

He prayed his dick would just stay calm until the credits started rolling. If only it wasn’t so fucking sensitive! Look what you’ve done to yourself, dumbass. You should’ve gone with Timothée Chalamet.

“Who wrote these dialogues? Oh my god!” Y/N giggled as the characters started talking again.

“If you agree to do this, you’re gonna want your own room.”

“Why? Because I’ll be your sex slave?”

“Take me as your sex slave, Christian. I want a bigger room!” Harry joked, making Y/N guffaw as she put her head on his shoulder.

Harry’s laughter died down as his limbs went stiff. He didn’t want to move, afraid that she might pull away and he might never have another moment like this.

“Which one is yours?” Ana asked as she and Christian walked into his garage.

“All of them,” the guy answered, making Harry cackle.

“That’s gonna be me one day,” he said and nodded his head towards the screen. “I’m gonna be a sexy boss who owns ten expensive cars and a place like that. Minus the sex dungeon, of course.”

“I could see you having a sex dungeon though.”

“I already have one.” He turned around and pointed to his bedroom. “Wanna see it after the movie?”

The joke got him a smack on the leg as Y/N shot him a glare. “Anyway,” she breathed. “If you’re gonna be that rich, at least give me a ride in one of your expensive cars.”

“Would I still be hanging out with you then?” He playfully arched an eyebrow, making her laugh softly.

“Oh, you would beg to hang out with me,” she said with her head still on his shoulder. At this point, neither of them was paying attention to the movie.

“Wanna hear how I imagine our future?”

Harry pursed his lips as he gave a nod. “Sure, tell me.”

“Okay.” She jolted right up and turned to face him, putting her elbow on the backrest and her head against her knuckles. “It’s ten years from now, yeah? Say you’re a CEO living in a big mansion. You’ve got everything you’ve ever wanted, but you are so lonely because you don’t wanna fall in love and settle down.”

Harry rolled his eyes, laughing slightly as she gripped his shoulder to make sure he was still listening.

“One day, while walking around your rose garden, you start thinking about the good old days when you were in college and shared a flat with a lovely girl. Oh, where is she now? you wonder. So you hire a spy to look for me and find out I’m living in the suburbs with a husband, two kids and a puppy...or a cat.”

“Boringggg.”

“Shut up!”

“Do go on though. What happens next?” he asked, putting his hand on her knee.

Smiling, she went on, “you decide to come visit me on a beautiful Sunday. I open the door and I’m so surprised to see you. ‘Hey, do you remember the night we decided to watch that awful sex movie,’ asks lonely thirty-year-old Harry. ‘How could I forget? I’ve been having nightmares since,’ says beautiful married Y/N.”

Harry tossed his head back and laughed as Y/N tried to hold it in so she could finish her story.

“Then you say to me, ��that night, you told me to give you a ride in one of my expensive cars if I ever got rich. So would you like to go somewhere with me on this fine Sunday morning?’ , ‘Oh, I really want to,’ I say to you, ‘but my husband would be jealous so I have to turn you down.’ Then we say goodbye and I close the door, leaving you standing outside for a long moment. You walk back to your expensive car as it starts raining, and suddenly, you feel sad.”

“Sad?”

“Yeah. Because you have finally realised that, you’ve been in love with me this whole time!” Y/N exclaimed as she grabbed his shoulders. “Unfortunately, it’s already too late because I’m now happy with my husband, two children, and a dog...or a cat. The end!”

When Harry said nothing, she lightly elbowed him. He looked down as she looked up, her cheek pressing against his shoulder as she gave him a pout. “No applause?”

“Your story sucks,” he said, smirking as she puckered up her lips and turned back to the TV.

“Oh no, we forgot to pause!” she said.

“Well, we already know what’s gonna happen so I don’t think we’ve missed much.”

“You’re probably right.”

As she continued watching the movie, he was watching her. Thanks to her stupid story, now he had to worry about his future ten years from now. How could he compete with her husband, two children and a dog, or a cat?! And the nice vision with ten cars and the big mansion didn’t sound so nice anymore since he knew for sure she wouldn’t be in it. His heart already broke for thirty-year-old Harry.

Maybe he would stay up all night to blame himself for what was yet to happen. But now he had a bigger problem to deal with.

As they reached the final sex scene, Harry was embarrassingly and painfully hard. Thank God for the pillow that sat conveniently right beside him. He put it on his lap to hide his hardon while already thinking about jerking off in the shower once this movie had ended.

He reluctantly checked on Y/N. She was sitting so still, but he could see right through her neutral expression that she desperately wanted to touch herself. After a moment, she started rubbing her thighs together, and Harry’s jaw went slack as he suddenly forgot how to breathe.

Fuck, this is better than porn. I’m going to hell, he thought while stroking his thigh with one hand, the other still resting on her leg.

He wasn’t sure if he was so horny his mind was playing tricks on him or her skin was really burning under her pyjamas. He could feel it, and now he was too awkward to remove his hand from her leg. He kept watching her face as the moaning and the music from the movie turned his face scarlet. When she pressed her lips together, he couldn’t help it anymore.

“To be honest,” he spoke with a voice full of breath, “I’ve always wondered if this was the kind of content you’d masturbate to, since...since you don’t watch porn.”

Y/N swallowed hard but she didn’t seem offended at all. Her eyelids fluttered as she gave him a bashful smile. “I...do watch porn.”

“Oh?” Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Yeah, I’ve just...never had an orgasm by myself…”

Holy shit. Harry’s mouth fell open as he gripped his knee. He hoped he wasn’t being too obvious? Shit, was he being too obvious?

He swallowed hard, fixing the pillow on his lap and slightly grinding his hips against it to get some friction on his crotch area. His head fell back to the backrest of the couch as Y/N pulled away and did the same. They were looking at each other, their faces so close Harry couldn’t focus on anything else.

Half of him wanted to excuse himself and went to the bathroom to jerk off, the other half wanted to stay and finish the movie with her. This was the most intimate moment they had ever shared and he certainly couldn’t let it go to waste.

“You okay?” she asked and he gave a nod, licking his lip.

“Not gonna lie, these sex scenes got me quite worked up.”

“Oh…” Y/N chewed on the corner of her mouth as she shifted around a bit. “Um...are you…you know...”

“No, am I what?” He smirked. Of course he knew what her question would be. He was a bit embarrassed that she could already tell from looking at his face, still he had to hear her say it.

“Y-You…” she stuttered, “you know what.”

“No, Y/N, I’m afraid I don’t.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, and with a bit of hesitation, pointed to his lap. “That.”

“That? What’s that?” He sounded amused. “I don’t get it. Care to elaborate?”

“Forget it.” She waved him off. But did she really think he would let her get away with this?

“You want to know if I’m hard?”

The question made Y/N groan as she buried her face into her palms. She didn’t deny or confirm it, but he already knew he was right.

“You’re wet, aren’t you?”

“Stop!”

“Y/N.”

“What?” She huffed as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her hands away from her face. She gave him only one quick glance before looking back at the screen, but he knew she was too flustered to continue watching.

“Promise me you’ll try tonight,” he blurted, unsure why he’d said it, but he didn’t regret it for the look on her face was priceless.

“Try what?”

“Make yourself come.”

Y/N gripped the hem of her shirt, her eyes went round. “Stop messing with me. It’s not funny anymore!”

“I’m serious. Promise me you’ll try,” his voice was low and heavy as if he was out of breath. “Don’t think too much. Just...get yourself wet and feel it out, love. You should know your body better than anyone, right?”

Y/N was quiet for a moment, which made Harry think he might have crossed the line and she would definitely get mad at him. But then she shifted her eyes to her lap and finally gave a nod.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she softly confirmed. That one word alone could make him bust his nuts right on that couch. He was glad it didn’t happen, still, he wished he could tell her what she was doing to him.

As soon as the credits started to scroll, Y/N turned off the TV, wished him goodnight and fled straight to her room like a scared little deer.

Harry heaved a sigh of relief. He got up, turned the lights off and hurried to the shower to take care of his big problem. He didn’t know if she kept her promise and touched herself before going to bed, but he assumed that she did, and came so hard to those filthy thoughts that his legs felt like jelly once it was over.

As he rested his forehead against the shower wall and let the warm water run down his back, he shut his eyes and told himself to stick to PG movies from now on.

[jemej3m]

Please please keep writing that radio host Andreil fic. It was so amazing already thank you

you demand and i supply lmao (slight nswfish warning? lol its just mentioned in passing yall know my ace ass is no good with that)

here’s p.1

*

Andrew didn’t want to come across as eager, but -

Talking with Neil had felt natural. Too natural. And thrilling. God, Andrew didn’t realise his heart could still go that fast. The idea of the music accidentally being cut and his voice being projected out into the world created a false sense of enthrallment that had his pulse stuttering.

Andrew’s fingers itched for his phone as he drove home the next day. How old was Neil? What did he look like? How’d he find himself hosting a midnight show on a shitty Colombian radio station? He seemed like such an enigma, too big for this awfully tiny place.

The way Andrew was waxing about him was foreign and disturbing. He’d never met this man: He had no clue what he looked like, who he was outside of his work, what kind of morals he had.

Maybe it was the music. Maybe it was just his damned voice.

Either way, Andrew found himself calling the same number, all over again. The phone balanced on his knee as he drove.

“It’s Neil from Mid-Nights, what are your thoughts on the rise in crime in Columbia?”

“Any interesting opinions, as of yet?” Andrew inquired, both genuinely curious (something he wasn’t familiar with) and superficially bored.

“None, as of yet.” The presenter answered.

“Shame.” Andrew drawled.

“I recognise this voice.” Neil answered. “You called me last night, didn’t you? Andrew. I remember.”

“Well done.” Andrew said, letting his tone fall flat. “Would you like an award?”

Neil snorted. “I’d like for callers to remain on topic whilst using up a line, but we can’t all get what we want. We can talk for another two minutes, but it’ll cost you a genuine opinion.”

“Fine.” Andrew grunted. “An ideal government would strive for balanced reputation in order to achieve equitable living standards for its citizens. When everything is balanced, there’s no need for crime.”

“Well - ” Neil coughed. “Theoretically.”

“Theoretically.” Andrew echoed.

“What, was that your thesis?”

“I have a doctorate in communications and criminology, so, pretty much.”

“The hell you doing, driving home at this hour every night with qualifications like that?” Neil asked, almost gentle.

Andrew hated the idea that this stranger pitied him. It made his skin feel too tight, made his body pull taut with tension as his teeth ground together. That was none of Neil’s business, and Andrew thought he should know. “You should get off your fucking high horse, Midnighter. You’re no better than me.” Hanging up was satisfying, but Andrew still felt a little hollow.

He didn’t need random radio presenters reminding him of his shortcomings. He had his family for that.

Neil’s music continued to play softly in the background. Another playlist worthy track. Petty and bitter, Andrew ignored it and shoved his fist into the radio’s controls, turning off the station entirely.

*

Neil leant into the microphone and hoped Andrew could hear his grin.

“To the man who hung up on me last night, fuck you too.” Neil’s voice was too playful to be interpreted as serious. Or so he hoped. “My high-horse had its legs chopped off years ago. I was complimenting you, asshole.”

No one would understand him, but it was alright. He was known for angering people.

Half an hour later, as though Andrew had remained in the driveway listening to the show and deciding whether or not to call up, the phone began to rang. Neil picked it up - too enthusiastically, really - and brought it to his ear.

“It’s Neil from Mid-Nights, how are you?”

“Jack-ass.” Andrew answered. “I don’t need no compliments. Stick to what you’re good at: Being an asshole.”

The dial-tone of being hung-up on (again) made Neil grin.

*

It’d been two weeks. Andrew had run through most of his call credit, seeing as he rarely used it in the first place. The conversations were never longer than a few minutes, but the fragmented moments strung together and formed something so rare, so niche, that Andrew had to wonder at himself: What in fuck’s name did he think he was doing?

“I hope this’ll help wake you all from your long-drive stupors.” Neil’s voice, deceptively sweet, laughed into the microphone. “Nothing like some solid distortion solos to get you feeling alive. Oh, and I’m expecting a call. You know who you are.”

“Asshole.” Andrew grunted, cocking his head to the side as he pulled up at a red light. 

Black in Black started blasting from his speakers, unintentionally. Andrew scoffed, squashing down the remnants of his grin, and rolled down the windows. 

He didn’t call Neil till the song had faded into something along the lines of Elton John, not wanting to give Neil the satisfaction of being at his beck and call. 

Neil paid him back the favour, almost letting the call ring out before snatching up the line on its last breath. 

“You’re getting stingy.” Neil complained. “I figured out you get off shift at three. Why the half an hour of time wasted?”

“Making you wait is half the fun.” Andrew rolled his eyes. “Don’t be a creep and go working out my schedule with too little knowledge and too good perceptions. It’s weird.”

“Observations keep me alive and kicking. You like my song choice?”

Neil queued another two songs after Bennie and the Jets so they could talk and Andrew didn’t even mind. He was sure he’d never willingly spent this much time with even his own family.

“You know,” Neil offered, a hint of hesitation in his voice that Andrew’d never heard before. “I could - uh, I could give you my -”

“Spit it out, Josten.”

He could hear Neil’s scowl. “I can’t if you keep interrupting me!” He let out a disgruntled huff. “Well, I just thought - maybe I could give you my personal number.” 

Andrew hummed. “For what purpose?”

“To get to know you better.” Neil said, the blunt confidence returning to his voice. “If that was something you’d be interesting. Or am I just a welcomed blip in the routine?” 

“Do whatever you want. I couldn’t care less.” Andrew lied. 

Neil laughed softly. “Goodnight, Andrew.”

“Night.” 

*

Andrew stood outside the staff entrance letting the smoke curl in his mouth before letting it seep out from between his lips. He’d always broken his breaks up into ten-minute chunks to keep up the flow of nicotine. No one usually spoke to him or acknowledged him. 

Usually. 

Roland, his consistent hook-up over the past six months, leaned against the door to keep it closed. Andrew could appreciate the low-cut sleeveless shirt and the arms folded across the man’s chest. Andrew had left bruises in the shape of his chain necklace when Roland asked him to: He knew Roland wanted something more permanent than what he was willing to give. 

“You’ve been distant.” Roland supplied. 

Andrew flicked ash in his direction, a warning in and of itself. Roland merely rolled his eyes and dropped his arms, opening his palms as an offer. 

That was how it always happened: They had five, ten minutes to spare. There was nothing better to do. Andrew was going through the motions: Going to work, serving drunk fuckwits, smoking in silence, giving Roland head to shut him up, repeat. 

When the other man gasped “We should go out to dinner some time,” Andrew pinched the skin of his thigh. Roland’s hand flew out to stabilise himself against the table-top, effectively hitting the small radio player that worked constantly. 

He must have knocked the frequencies, because Neil’s pearlescent laughter filled the room and Andrew had never felt more disgusted: In himself, in this, in everything. The visceral hatred for his existence was only a glimmer, a fragmented moment, but it was enough to have him stumbling away, shoving his hands through his hair and digging his fingers into his temples. 

“Andrew?” Roland managed. 

“I’m going home.” He snapped, shoving his hands into his pockets. He found his phone and his keys, slamming the staff-entrance door behind him. 

Sitting in the driver’s seat, he looked at his phone again. Looked at the text from an unknown number that he’d read but not answered. 

hey this is neils number. 

He swallowed against the cotton wad in his throat and typed out an answer. when do you finish? 

neil was quick to respond. four am every morning. aren’t you still on shift? 

Andrew rested his forehead against the steering-wheel and tried to ignore the way his heart raced. left early. 

Neil took over five minutes to answer. Andrew didn’t want to turn on the radio and hear his voice, so he waited. His patience was rewarded a little while later. 

bring me coffee? black, no sugar, no milk. itd be nice to finally see you. 

Andrew shoved down the desire to smile instinctively, hating the unfamiliar twitch to his lips. with a coffee order like that, i’d rather run for the hills. 

shame. Neil answered. see you soon? 

Andrew was a goner, shoving his keys into the ignition as he typed out a hasty reply. 

yeah. see you soon.

*

:DDD

[wind0wg0blin]

A slasher match up pleease,im 1,60 cm tall, I love reading and gardening,roses are my favorite, my hair is very curly and brown,even living in a hot country, I tend to get cold a lot,im very skinny for my height i think,45 kg,my skin is pale,not sickly pale but well,pale lmao, my eyes are dark brown, I love animals, have a great phobia of cockroaches,seriously, I scream and cry when I see one, I also like drawing c: thanks!

I Match you with Jason Voorhees!

Your friends had dragged you alongwith them on a weekend getaway to some spooky camp ground as they were all bighorror junkies. The only reason you came was cause they promised to let you gowalking around looking at all the wildflowers as you secretly planned tosmuggle some home.  

With the group occupied withunpacking and setting up in one of the old cabins you took off into the woodsin search of some adventure. In your mind epic battle music played as youhopped from rock to rock. You couldn’t help but laugh knowing you looked like achild creating an epic ballad with their imaginary friends

In your imaginary land you losttrack of where you had come from as the forest seemed to stretch endlessly in everydirection. It didn’t help that it was growing dark and cold either. Slightlypanicked you picked up the pace heading off in a random direction. Unbeknownstto you, you had attracted something of a secret admirer whilst you had dancedabout the woods

This admirer of yours began toslowly guide you away from the camp where all your friends now began to searchfor instead, they lead you to their own home hidden away deep into the woodsprotected from intruders such as your friends.

Soon enough you saw a light in thedistance an old rotting cabin could be seen smoke coming out of the chimney. Youhesitantly approached before knocking softly on the front door. When no oneanswered you knocked again harder this time. You practically jumped out of yourskin when the door opened but no one was stood there to greet you. You took atiny step into the home just to see if the person was behind the door but thatwas enough for it to slam behind you causing you to yelp in fright as you heardthe door lock from the outside.

Peering out from the window in thedoor you could see a large figure disappearing into the woods clearly having beenthe one who locked you in here. You attempted to find a way out but even theglass in the windows was un breakable you having slammed a fire poker into ituntil your body was sore. The back door was locked and boarded up from theoutside meaning you were trapped until someone came to get you.

You threw yourself onto the couchand cried feeling the sudden mental taxation bearing down on you from the countlessoutcomes that could happen now. Nothing you could think of ended well for you. Youdeeply regretted your choice of not sleeping in the car ride here as you nowfelt your lack of sleep catching up to you as accepted fate and fell asleepwith tears streaming down your face.

When you woke up sunlight wasstreaming in through the windows, lace curtains parted to show the beautifulgreen evergreen trees swaying outside in the wind. A heavy wool blanket was tuckedaround you as well as a throw pillow placed under your head. The coffee tablehad been pushed closer to you, on it was a glass of water and a plate ofassorted crackers and wafers.

As you sat up rubbing at your facethe smell of something cooking reached you and the sounds of someone in thekitchen became much more obvious. Glancing in that direction you caughtglimpses of someone in a blue flannel and overalls walking about in the kitchensetting out dishes of food on the small table.

Your hunger soon took control ofyour better judgement as slowly creeped out to the kitchen the sight of all thefood made your mouth water. Though the large imposing man with a burlap sack onhis head struck cold fear in your gut. That was until he turned to you his headtilting as his one exposed eye smiled at you before he shuffled over to thetable and pulled out a chair for you to sit. Once you took your place, he set aplate in front of you along with a cup of coffee and a small glass of orangejuice. You half expected him to sit down with you but something outside musthave caught his attention as he smiled at you nodding to tell you to eat beforehe walked off and out the front door.

You nervously picked at the smallamount of food you had gotten yourself pulling off pieces of honey flavored monkeybread and happily eating that.

Soon enough the masked manreturned with a basket of strawberries that must be growing nearby. He thensettled down across from you at the table and somehow, despite him being mute,you two carried on a lovely conversation. He told you about how he lived hereand that he was able to easily live off the land and what not and you in turntold him about what had happened last night.

Jason absolutely lies to you atthis point but not being able to see his face kind of prevents you from being ableto determine if it was really him or one of your friends’ cruel jokes. Jasonthen says that your friends had left sometime late last night. [You can assumewhat actually happened]

You believed the kind mountain manfor the time being agreeing to stay until someone could come through to takeyou into town. Little did you know an officer only comes out once a year to doa quick drive through of the camp to make sure no homeless people have moved inand all other unannounced visitors are quickly dispatched by your new roommate.

Jason would grow quickly attachedto you protecting you from anyone who gets too close to the cabin. You slowlygrew to return his feelings as he proved time and time again that he would neverhurt you and only wished to care and provide for you.

He is hopelessly in love with youand there is no doubt that you are literally the only person who could everlove him especially in his situation so if you ever fight, he is usually thefirst to apologize as he is desperate to keep you. Just don’t break his bigsoft heart and everything will be peachy keen though.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Suspiria remake review from a shitty movie-goer

(this review is posted too late so excuse me for some timing inaccuracies I couldn’t be arsed to edit)

(IF YOU HATE TL;DRS JUST SKIP AHEAD TO THE “THE REVIEW” PART. YOU’RE WELCOME)

I actually hate to admit why was I interested to watch this movie in the end, but for once SOMETHING motivated me to go to a movie after countless tries from my family to get me to watch something in theatres at a “reasonable time” (daytime is what they mean, this movie was at 8pm our time, and this is when the cross-city bus transport (it goes from one big city to another) stops doing their service lmao).

I myself have a lowkey interest in moviemaking (I’m already getting there by editing my phone-recorded videos because whatever). I come up with my concepts in my head and I am mostly willing to put them down somewhere in my computer so I don’t forget it years later if I want to make that concept a thing in the end (because none of my concepts are finalized... well except for one short horror-ish story I posted on DeviantArt (see mom, I do like some horror stuff!). Reddit as of lately inspired me to edit some of my movie’s plot-lines based on irl events (not related with anything too SJW), and I’m not sure how an usual movie-goer would see this concept but I am going to try to execute it... whenever I have enough equipment to shoot my own little films or skits or whatever.

What’s that? There are people who scrolled past this and already yell at me that “YOU ONLY WENT TO SEE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE OF THE MAN WHO COMPOSED THE SOUNDTRACK~~~”? Ugh yes you exposed me, tea all over. I even had “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” on a bit of a repeat as of lately (how fucking come I wasn’t too couragerous to listen to this song before?? And “Pyramid Song”??? Man am I discovering their pearl(ie)s(*) too late). And I’m occasionally on the band’s subreddit as well. And the man himself is touring ‘round the USA, signing material of fans and have genuinely warm chats with them. Admireable.

But that’s only half truth.

I never thought I’d see Suspiria on cinema theatres in here. Until one time when I saw an ad on a completely random Lithuanian website that said this movie is coming to our theatres 14 December... I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. I made my goal to see Suspiria since then. I even dared to ask a couple of my new college ‘friends’ to see it with me, but one of them fell off the deal when I revealed that I’ll be going to see it on Saturday, and on the weekends he’s usually at home, far away from the city the college is in (he lives in college dormitory on mostly the work-weekdays). So my only movie companion ended up to be this 28-year-old coursemate (actually we both study different things but sometimes we attend some of the same lectures) who was intrigued by the Suspiria trailer herself so at least I’m gonna have her by my side of the movie, so I thought. Sweet.

I already envisioned seeing this in a mall cinema theatre but my companion offered me a cheaper alternative - her suggested cinema theatre was actually in renovation so the business is temporarily happening inside an actual drama theatre’s long theatre hall. I had to wait long until the ticket box opened and because of that I was lowkey frustrated as I finished my English test writing a little earlier, so I spent my time walking around the city until the time came and I wandered off to the old building of the cinema so then I remembered it was moved and I found the moved place. Yeah I bought the tickets before my companion could but I’ll skip ahead to the time that I almost lost the tickets because they were put down on a windowsill outside some children activity centre (Suspiria and children?? lol). I came back home late at night and was ready for the movie to happen the next day. Oh and before buying the tickets I coincidentally saw dance classes going on nearby that building... weird, as Suspiria has dance elements in there

The day came (December 15) and my family went together with me because they saw this as an opportunity to see the Christmas tree of our city (but not the movie). Needless to say, they were still visibly pissed at me orchestrating this idea, as I planned everything BUT the transport to go by. Well at least my mom and my sis. Dad was cool with it as he returned home to watch Home Alone. Aside all that, the cinema hall was cozy, Christmassy, not too small, there were a few trailers before the movie, no snack-seller places (as this is not a mall lol) - my companion was glad she wasn't at the mall as she found this place where we were at way lovelier.

Now with all that unnecessary long intro off my chest, let’s begin:

THE REVIEW

(definitely not spoiler-free, if you are sensitive to spoilers please watch the movie for yourselves before reading my review. But if you like being spoiled, I’m your friend then I guess lmao)

The intro to the movie felt like I ended up booking a wrong movie - I didn't expect that to be set somewhere in Germany, especially an American/Italian-shot one. Was that a thing in the original Suspiria? I don't know... (apparently it is, but the cities are different, never the country though)

Patricia (I didn’t know it was Chloë Grace’s role until reading the Wiki) looked like to be a really big deal here, with the dance pupils discussing her disappearance the other day and Susie overheard them, then Sara mentioned the Patricia thing to Susie after Susie revealed she was kind of chosen as the lead dancer for the Volk play... is it because Patricia was THE saviour that unfortunately knew a little too much?? Idk, it’s perhaps the reason we get to see the Klemperer guy subplot happen (I didn’t know it was Tilda Swinton behind him all the time either, must be because the way the male German accent was put on her lol). Turned out she was captured and kept under some dungeon where Sara had gone later in the movie, but looking like an almost melted and grotesquely old human being (or if Mary’s mother from “Chocolate with Nuts” was a person). Speaking of which, there is one more later in the movie, but I won’t tell just yet - we will need to get into such scenes discussion first.

Interesting deaths here, despite of them being grotesque and horrifically detailed. It almost felt like Susie, whilst doing her first dance as the probable lead dancer, temporarily turned into Olga’s voodoo doll or a violent bloodbender (that old lady from Avatar that could bloodbend was incredibly uncanny, damn) and left Olga completely fucked up, and the foam mouth later on... is this the effect myxomatosis has on a human being if it was ever humanly? She was twitching and salivating afterall. :P But no, she’s not dead until she gets to plead her death later in the movie! :O Several others occur throughout, but none is more prominent than this key scene I described, well at least according to TV Tropes.

The search for the evil person in this movie without Wiki helping me much was definitely a nice game for me to play. I kept thinking that Blanc might be that one, then I thought she’s not the one until she looked at Carolina (I think that was the tall tomboy’s name??) suspiciously and then she later passed out on the floor violently, with rabies foam and everything.

Anyway, don’t tell me Tilda Swinton wouldn’t make out a pretty good Thom Yorke post-Pablo Honey. She’s 8 years older than him, ffs! Also played a man before (e.g.: this movie I’m talking about) so the make up won’t be an unjumpable-over hurdle.

The sighs were for sure unsettling, especially because they oddly sounded like orgasm here and there. IDK why. I know fucking is referenced twice in this movie (well only fucking once and sex another time). Speaking of random things, the nightmare shots were completely random themselves, following up with some imagery we never see in the movie again, and some of that we see only a little (like the worms and bloody organs).

3 long scenes that were note-worthy for me. One is the Olga mutilation/Susie's first dancing scene that I already noted, and it was driven by music (the others will be too. Soundtrack of this movie still rules). Then there's the Volk play itself - girls go from one place to another, take poses of each other, dance individually, let their minimalistic red rope dresses flick in the air, interspersed with Sara in the underneath area and her broken leg (so broken, the bone went out of her skin!), and then the matriarchy getting her back on stage, but healing her leg with her witch powers before that. I haven't really listened to the rest of the soundtrack but I gotta check the song out so that I won't end up labeling it as a Kid A reject. No but seriously - intense dancing needed some intense drumming and painful instrument sounds just to project out the massiveness of the whole play.

Then I keep remembering the scene where Madame Blanc commands Susie to jump higher and higher in the mirror hall, up until she jumps as highest as possible. Also my companion’s favourite scene was the stare exchange between these two ladies during the part where people were singing some drinking song in a bar to celebrate ‘Volk’’s success - you hear them singing and then some chilling background noise slowly mixing and creeping its way into the atmosphere, then I think it leads into a scene where some sparkling aura entity wakes Susie up (and she’s nude) in the middle of the night and gets her to go down to this... dungeon orgy full of random stuff going on, complete with an Asian man doing something beyond explanation (I could say lewd but not quite), even more strange ritual dancing and the very much frightening Madame Helga... who looked like Jabba the Hutt for some reason. And then of course everyone slitting, slashing and twisting each other, and by the end Susie throwing us all a plot twist which makes her THE evil one who can finally let her ‘friends’ go of all that suffering they have been through thanks to the damn witches (and yeah apparently her dance friends haven’t completely died? THAT’S how they do - they tell Susie to end their suffering and she does). Also she cracks her chest open to reveal a... very graphic part of a female body that will by no doubt get this whole text review reported without consent so I refrain from any illustrations. Oh and this scene mostly has the possibly favourite this movie’s soundtrack song of mine, if not one of them, play - titled Unmade. It was a mind-boggling decision to do so but the movie editors do them I suppose, but still. I felt sad for the song having to be the background of such absurd but fair enough events? (Oh and I didn’t mention that everyone who voted for the other woman than Madame Blanc to be the leader of the witches (iirc) were rid of in this movie. Damn.)

Oh and the ending is rather an interesting detail, not talking about post-credits because as always I have to be this one movie goer who wants to do it but can’t because they’re urged to go back out of the movie theater. We turn into modern day Germany with a love heart carved on a brick wall with the letters A and L (perhaps?? at the time of finishing this review my memory towards it kind of erased some parts of the movie for me), a nice little remembrance of Lutz’s (the old man’s) love for his dear Anke, with which they have reunited during the movie, but Lutz was dragged out by some people related to the dance academy for probably wandering elsewhere than needed and somehow Lutz ended up as one of the sex dungeon victims, stripped of clothing and lying down quite powerless. That and before the modern day shot we are subjected with Lutz in hospital with Susie coming to visit, they discuss something related to the plot, Susie touches the guy speaks some more, leaves and according to the Wiki, Lutz “suffers from a violent seizure” that was nothing more than just a hard seizure. And it even erases his memories!

Anyway, as a whole, I felt more underwhelmed of this movie’s experience despite really wanting to see it. Like, “uhm yeah gore blood people getting slashed everyone’s a witch and everyone’s watched over by the witch and if you expose the witches you die” kind of underwhelmed. I didn’t want this movie to blatantly go through my head, but it did, that’s why I wanted to make notes everytime something notable happens. There was one startling moment, and it just was an innocent scene transition. And something within Olga’s mutilation scene made me chuckle (and made some other people leave the cinema hall ASAP). It’s more of a disgusting watch than scary. Also feels too dragged out in parts.

I’d only recommend it if you are gore-tolerant (there are people that can’t stand looking at blood so this might as well not be for you, especially if you’re younger than 16), like intense choreos that can impact other people literally, and... the soundtrack. Yes of course. If you dare to get through the movie with feeling its soundtrack, sometimes you might as well feel it right, but some of the soundtrack song usages might as well make you go “hmm” as much as me.

I'll remind myself to never watch a movie in theaters for soundtrack again (unless they're not THAT late). And the other 'trilogy of the three witches' movie remakes, especially if they come out at the time I haven't moved houses by now, because for sure as hell will my parents not like me going to cinema late once more. The movie is lowkey 7 out of 10 for me, can sometimes it's on the verge of falling down to 6 becaude of no completely proper comprehension of some directing choices... so 6.7/10 is good - as it still has 6 in it, but totally leans on to the 7.

Will probably watch it again. I need to remember some more of this movie sometime later. And looking for online uploads of this movie is unrecommendable - I'll wait until Lionsgate distributes it to America for wider audiences so that anything could surface 2 months (or even a few days) later from now. Though if I didn't need all that, I'd definitely not watch it again for a long time... unfortunately I want to.

Post movie feelings: my companion liked the movie, initially said to never watch it again but now wants to watch it again because it was so "wtf" she felt like re-experiencing it at some point. She liked the music (another bonus point for Yorke). She wished she could film the reactions of other people who watched this, as they mostly were confused, all being like "wtf did I just watch???". I'm already feeling bad for the 3rd companion who didn't join us but would also like to watch this - he’ll likely be one of those confused movie-goers.

[godmerlin]

Vegas 2017

Okay I promised a massive write up so here we go. LOL this is my ENTIRE trip fyi not just the shows. but CLEARLY the shows and all the stuff that goes with it is in here in large quantities. Under the cut:

I'm just starting off with something that i'm not going to be writing this pretty because it's 1:30am lol. Anyway... So I got there at like nearly 11pm their time which was my like 2am lol and finally got to the shuttle area and got on (next time im skipping the shuttles and just using lyft) and then the dude forgot about me and this other woman and so it took a MILLION YEARS!! to get to the hotel and I was late :( like wtf we were supposed to be like the 2nd people dropped off. RIDICULOUS!! lol thank goodness they at least had a room but it was a smoking room and SUPER creepy lmao but we got to switch the next day thank goodness. SO anyway all i did once i got there was eat part of a creepy sandwhich (lol) and video chat my mother who was also amused by the creepiness of the room when I showed her LOL and then showered and attempted to sleep... I had barely got asleep when Kayley got there and she had keys to the room but they didn't work weirdly and knocked on the door to which i promptly fell out of the bed hahaha and let her in and it was odd because it was like Hi there first time meeting face to face but it didn't feel that way at all and we just talked and then fell asleep  ahahha and then when we FINALLY got up we were like ok well let's go downstairs and walk around before we leave. So, we're in the casino when suddenly this guy that worked there was all "Hold up, how you gonna wear a Three's Company shirt without the original cast?" to Kayley (the start of one hilarious day of wearing that shirt tbh) and we were amused and we started talking to this guy and he was just VERY enthusiastic over Three's Company. And he was like yelling about it in the middle of the casino lmao he was not a Terri fan whatsoever. hahaha This went on for like at least 10 minutes. It was super amusing. Then after that we went to the box office and got our tickets for the shows and then we were just walking around and suddenly I spotted Ryan (why was it always me who spotted everyone? good grief!) and I was like OH my god THERE's RYAN!! and she was like WHERE?? and I was like seriously? you can't see the giant at the poker table?! LMAO finally she saw him and we got the giggles!! and we were like omg and we walked around again just to like look at Ryan. Hahahaha and then that's when I noticed Jeff at the bar. LOL and I didn't say anything at first because I wasn't sure if it was him so I made us walk by it again and sure enough it was and I was like oh man there's Jeff and she was like where? and I was like over there! and we were just standing there and i was pointing (thank goodness he had his back to us lmao) and I was like I know it's him because he's wearing one of those ugly hats LMAO (it's ok rob wears them too sometimes)  then the rest of the time was spent walking around for a few because I was trying to decide if the woman he was talking to was actually Cassandra or an old woman because apparently she looks like an old woman to me. Or at least from the side/back. hahahaha but then we got the giggles too bad and I literally was like nope we have to go our room NOW. I was like I must banish us!! I did not want to be seen acting like a giggling 12 year old lmao...so we got up there and then had a major giggle attack and once we calmed down we then went back down and walked around a bunch more we were trying to figure out if we could approach or not but we never ended up doing it but I did at least discover it was in fact Cassandra when we got the courage up to walk a little closer. hahahaha then we were like okay this is ridiculous we are ridiculous and we decided we had to get something to eat cuz neither of us had eaten anything and it was like 3pm lmao (we be creepin) so we went to the restaurant there at the hotel and that's when we were like ok so we don't have any time to do like half of what we wanted to do that day since we spent so much of it either sleeping or creeping lmao  so we ended up just going out and walking around a lot and getting ice cream, and giggling over it because #thegoldencone 

Throughout this entire time random dudes just kept commenting on her shirt. Like nonstop. one even sang the theme song to us lmao! It was really funny and so random...we appreciated it!!! SOOOO...fast forward to the show! We get there to wait to go in and decide to take pics with the poster because why not?

Hahaha took some pics for other girls and they took some for us... and then when Kayley was taking mine I just pointed and had no idea but I was ironically pointing at Jeff I was amuse dby this and there was a guy watching it happening who was laughing at me and i was like listen here pally, i love them a lot ok? (in my head) he was gone when i was done hahahaha

so we get inside and see our seats and are slightly surprised with wherethey were (it looked diff online) but still impressed cuz SO CLOSE. and we are giddy and happy and everything

and thennnn we find out we do get to fill out sentences which was great though this time around neither of us got any of them read. but that's OK. and then when Greg came out he was asking the questions he normally asks and he asked like what is your favorite movie? and I yelled out The Nutty Professor because I knew I wanted to yell out a jerry movie because well it's jerry but i wanted one that the majority of people would actually know (it's not actually my fave) and he was like "oh wow i wasn't expecting that" very amused HAHA and then he ya know announced them to come out and i about lost my shit when jeff and ryan came out lmao i cheered for joel but i wasn't as keen on him at this point (i mean i didn't hate him!! i liked him!! i just wasn't all !!!! but it's changed now!!) and then it started. it was a sort of odd show i feel like at first they took a little longer to get going. I mean they were still super funny but they were kinda awkward about it for a bit?? And after talking to joel i understand why, they weren't used to being so far away from the crowd. I sadly can't remember as much about the first show as I can the second. Hopefully Kayley can help fill in some blanks and remind me. Lol. I mean there was the ICONIC sentences game. Some super loud drunk dude down front yelled out Poultry Porn for a suggestion lmaoo and they went with it and it was WILD. Ryan was an ex starlet turned CHICKEN pornstar (and Jeff's sorta semi ex lover) who was just happy to still be on film LMAO. it was a whole thing. Nonstop really inappropriate shit happened. At one point the actual guy who suggested it was like "THIS IS SO WRONG" outloud and Jeff was like "YOU FUCKING SUGGESTED IT!" LMAO at one point there was some oohs and ahhs cuz it just was getting REALLY wild and disturbing...I think at one point I was just like "oh my god what the hell is happening in front of right now" out loud and I know for sure Ryan heard it cuz he was right infront of me at the time and he kinda was laughing. There was a really great cock joke in there (because chickens) i wish i could remember it. ugh. And then Jeff was all IT'S TIME! and Made Ryan have to pretend to be in a porno with a chicken and it ended with Ryan JERKING OFF A CHICKEN LMAOOOOOOOOOOO and Jeff walked back out and was all OK LET'S STOP IT THERE and Ryan was like REALY? REALLY? IT SHOULD HAVE STOPPED LONG BEFORE THAT!! LMAO His face was PRICELESS. omg... hahahaha and from there it got wild!! lmao Then the girl sitting next to me was the one picked to have Jeff sing to her (I just want it to be me. why can't it be me?) and she was terrified to be on stage tbh lmao she was there with her mother i guess and i don't really remember much but i do remeber at one point she just casually put her hand on jeff's thigh and he suddenly looked down surprised HAHAHA and she quickly took it away but he grabbed her hand and put it back ahaha and then slowly raised her hand til she was basically grabbing him it was so funny moving people was pretty funny as usual but i can't remmeber any details right now im sorry. but the sound effects one was really lame this time tbh one of the girls was relaly good and the other one was just awful but at one point ryan was trying to just get her to make a sound so he pretended he had a megaphone and was trying to get her to say stuff or make noise or anything but she just...wasn't. And he was all YOU'D THINK YOU'D HEAR MY VOICE THIS THIN IS SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU SOUND FUCKING LOUD! or something lmao and the girl was all "THIS IS MY FUCKING VOICE" or something like that lmaooo and they all lost it and ryan was like "oops, have it set to mega bitch" LMAO! and Jeff was all OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH in the back it was so funny hmm let's see...greatest hits was a blast! LOL They did a french song about douching lmaoo and a rat pack esque song i believe too which was great. There was another one too because they accidentally did 4 that night hahaha i can't remeber what it was??? But the iconic one was definitely the rock opera. I think it was supposed to be about plumbing but I forget and honestly they strayed WAY off soit's OK. Anyway it was supposed to Greg and Jeff that night but Greg was like I'm OUT lmao and told Ryan and Joel to do it and they were like OK. Lmao and so they went in and At first Jeff let the start it up and it was so great but then Jeff did join in it was honestly the most massive greatest hits song i've ever seen or heard them do tbh. the song itself lasted AT LEAST 10 minutes and all 4 ended up involved by the time it was done lmao Jeff ran out into the crowd and was trying to be the disco ball God but the lighting guys were not on their job lmaoo and he couldn't get the disco balls to work no matter how much prompting he would do and it was hilarious and then the fog machines went off instead and ryan and joel were all "the house is on fire! gotta put it out! the house is on fire! gotta put it out!" all dramatically in song toward it lmaoo it was WILD i was dying omg it was truly epic hahaha and then Jeff ran up to the light guys to get it working and they FINALLY came on only to be shut off not long after and he was all THEY JUST FUCKING WENT OUT but then they finally got them going again omg hahaha and jeff like ran back up on stage and was all im gonna go drink backstage and pretended to walk off the stage hahahaha but by the end of the song even greg joined in and like ryan was on the floor just rolling around joel was like exhausted in the corner greg was dancing and jeff was just dramatically stomping off the stage. lmao it was just so wild omg it was amazing.  then they said goodnight and we just sat there for a few cuz we were way down there and there was so many people going and we just needed a moment. then we like went out and were like ok...what do we do...and we stood there for a bit then i was like eh let's walk around so we did and then we went back and there were some others there then waitin and we were talking to them for  abit and then we were like let's walk around so we don't look creepy (as if it could help) but then time when we were rounding back we saw they were out and we wer elike OMG! and we literally just started running. WE RAN THROUGH THE CASINO. lmao right before we got around the corner i was like OK WE GOTTA STOP WE CAN'T LET THEM SEE US hahahaha so we did and we tried to casually walk up. HAhaha I saw Jeff was with some girls so i was like OK. Greg. and I was like HI 2 times and then i did everyhting i already wrote about that hahaha and same with jeff hAhah got our pics embarrassed ourselves especially me hahahah omg i forgot about how kayley didn't know how to operate my phone and just flashed my phone at us thank goodness he couldn't see my wallpaper cuz #embarrassing lmao! but then we giggled after and stood around for a long while just like freaking out by a bush and then i thought it was totally normal and OK to just creep them from behind said bush and we did this for like a solid hour. damn. why didn't we just go in the bar this night? oh well. HAhahaha Anyway at one point i was snapping pictures from behind the bush lmao :

and just as i was about get one of jeff standing and kinda looking but not really we locked eyes and he noticed me and he smirked at me!!!! and then like walked away and I turned around wide eyed in a freak out to kayley and was all JEFF JUST SAW ME CREEPING!!!!!!!!!!!! WE LOCKED EYES. THERE WAS SMIRKING. LMAOOOOOo I SAID IT SO LOUD EVERYONE COULD HEAR ME. I was so loud the whole time and embarrassing I swear. (the last 2 picd were RIGHT before it happened lmaooo) I was a whole other person in Vegas.. lol!!! As I said...Vegas changes you... hahahhaa and then i was like omg ok we need to go so I'm not even creepier lmao and so we went out and went to denny's and ate toast because, yes. then we came in and tried to sleep ad junk and again the next day we walked around and saw Ryan. but that was it. Then we went out and we did madame toussands and stuff

and then we went to Pierro's which is this amazing Italian place that Jerry frequents (how we knew about it) and it's super old school. Not just old school Vegas but just...old school. They even wear the white waiter coats! The food is SO good and they give you SO much but it is pretty expensive so it's definitely a vacation kind of place for me at least. hahaha I couldn't even finish all of my food which made me sad to pay that kind of money and not be able to finish it...but ya know.

then we left and went back to the hotel and just as we were getting in the elevator there was jeff and cassandra and this time kayley spotted them but the only reason i didn't is because I simply had my back to them and was facing her and she was trying to warn me but i couldn't hear her and then they were just standing tehre so she was all "something is coming" and just as she was saying that i saw him out of the corner of my eyes because he's so massive hahaha and they pushed the button for the elevator anyway ours opened at the same time as the one opened on the other side and we walked in ours and she started walking into the other one but jeff decided he was going to ride with us instead i guess hahaha cuz next thing i know he was walking in and i was like O_O inside tbh and then she quickly followed and i wa slike what is happening omggg I did my best poker face ever there because i was internally screaming if im being honest. He was just in there talking about how he was sick and loosing his voice and how his throat hurt and junk but he was like i'll be fine for the show haha and kinda looked at us and he was like warming up his voice and stuff and then he was patting himself down and was all "i really need to find a lint brush" LOL it was really funny. and then we got ready quickly after of course dying some more nad then we went to the show and got in our seats which we switched who sat where that night just because it was fair and then the show started and it was great! I was like how does one top what we ha djust seen?? and idk if they did better or what because both shows were great but this one was DEFINITELY more wild (i mean ok the chicken porn thing was pretty wild but this...idk man. i just dunno. lmao) During Freeze Kayley got to put jeff into a position and I laughed the way Greg looked when he said possibly not in a sexual position because it was different then the way he had said it the night before and different the way he said it for the other one. And that's when she chose downward dog. lmao and Jeff was like yes and he went over to her and made it look like he was gonna shake her hand but took her drink instead and drank it BAHAHA we were dying and she like raised herself up to give ti to him it was the funniest the crowd really laughed too. and then he did it and they kept him in that position the entire game of course. Ryan did the whole blows into Jeff's ass joke, which I was very glad to see in person lmao and there was one when he was a tent which i cracked up over. Jeff did Christopher Walken for the gameshow one and I was so happy to hear that in person and this particular time was extra funny too lmao ryan asked him to quote something from brigitte jone's diary because he said he wa sin every movie and jeff just said something about a diary and ryan got laughing and was like "i don't think that's right" lmao it was so funny and then when they asked for style of film or directors we btoh yelled at Jerry Lewis but Jeff only heard Kayley and asked her to say it again and she did and he was amused and he had to go ver and like shake her hand HAHA so we are happy to know he really likes jerry too and then Freaking Greg and joel did MARTIN AND LEWIS rather than just Jerry and I was there like OMFG THEY'RE DOING MARTIN AND LEWIS!!! sooo loud im certain they all hear dme hahaha i was like dying. then omfg Sentences. Ah, Sentences. honestly, that's my fave game if we're being honest. Lmao.  This one was about Firey Bellbottoms or something like that and they made it about disco. Hahahaha Jeff just wanted to dance. Ryan had a baby randomly lmao which was made funnier cuz later on one of the sentences read was about him getting his period and jeff was like, wait a minute. Lmao! and Ryan was laughing and was like DON'T EVEN ASK. hhahahah but then came the best part of course... When they were talking about going out and dancing and Jeff was all That hit Beegee's song *reads paper and makes a face and raises his eyebrow before reading it off* "Would You like to see my Golden Cone?" in which i then started to die and im certain he knew it wa sme cuz he threw the paper directly at me LMAO!

he said it so dramatically i died. like even more dramatically then some cuz he like put his head to the side in a huff.  hahaha. the whole audience laughed a lot and i felt so proud!!! and then Ryan apparently must have really appreciated it because he decided to start singing it. He sang a disco song about the golden cone and I can't remember it...so seriously if anyone out there was there and remembers it or anything PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!! I know it involved penis and sex though. I was very glad they went the penis route because that is what the golden cone is all about. LMAO but it was like a whole thing nad i was liek OMG!! i was so proud!! and then jeff went quickly over and they got SUPER close and then they started dancing and it was so funny. also kayley's never got read but it was about bananas which was super funyn cuz ryan made a joke about bananas ealrier in it and then got like 2 or 3 other sentences about bananas. HAHA it wa sso funny though oh man. I'm so sad I can't remember the song though :((( hahahaha and then the woman who got brought up this time was like in some relationship with this dude in the crowd for like 8 years or something idk but not engaged hahaha and she said something about not eating the candy but she got in the van anyway and they laughed about that a lot and ryan was like man i wish i had said that hahaha and then the song started and i don't fully remeber the song but jeff ran down into the audience and sat next to him which was like basically right behind me and was trying to convince the guy to propose to her but the guy wouldn't LMAO it was too funny omfg! and then he went back up and finished the song. then during moving people a 3rd girl went upon stage because it was vegas so she was durnk and instead of kicking her off though for abit they were highly amused and trying to figure out what the heck was happening jeff was like why don't we just do it and they wer elike oh ok? and so they kept her on and ryan ended up playing it too. HAHAHA they were at some amusement park but the girls just put jeff and greg into really inappropriate postions the ENTIRE time. Like they were just so close i was dying it all happened directly infront of me too. and at one point greg was talking about never having jeff's balls on his as much as he had in that moment LMAO and then they were so close that there lips were touching each others faces and they were loosing it when they were talking and at one point jeff was just power tool tonguing at me from the stage tbh and i lost it entirely and then finally the girls moved them over to try to get on the "ride" that ryan was apparently the runner of lmao but the girl just made jeff majorly squat and it wasso hard to watch because he was clearly in pain LMAO and Ryan was loosing it and he was like THIS IS NOT RIGHT! THE RIDE IS BROKE! THE RIDE IS BROKE! IM GETTING OUT OF HERE! lmaoo and the girl walked him backstage. hahahaa finally the game ended but omg it was so funny this sound effects game was much better. the two were much better about it. but again i don't really remember the details about it?? lol im sure i'll remember them but im just forgetting right at this moment. then let's see...GREATEST HITS! oh man, greatest hits. lmao this time Jeff and Ryan were singing. and it was so funny. Ryan kept trying to upstage Jeff and at one point Jeff was like "CAN I JUST SING A FUCKING LINEEE?" and he'd sing like 1 and then Ryan interupted again LMAO it was so funny but then when they got to the last one which was an 80s song (i squeed cuz greg mentione the pet shop boys lmao) and ryan did his freaking get up as the 80s guy and i lost it and jeff was just singing away not looking at him and ryan was trying to ge thim to so he put it inot the words so jeff turned around and his reaction was priceless and he started singing about ryan being a creepy looking dude. and the song was supposed to about roofers. but it just veered off. at one point ryan was singing about pitchin a tent and shit lmao but they kept getting all over each other like hardcore Lmaooo and at one point jeff was like behind ryan all sexually but he smooshed him down too much that the bottles started faling out of his shirt and jeff was trying to put them back in and ryan was all 'it's tooooo late nowwww" lmaooo and then jeff proceeded to start like humping him and making faces and he was all "I'M THE TOP............YOU'RE THE BOTTOM!!!" LMFAOO AND I FUCKING LOST IT me and kayley were dying so hard and then they pulled apart and were just there thrusting in my face and i was like what the hell is happening?? im pretty sure at this point they didn't even know and then ryan wa sjust rolling around on the floor and jeff was siging something about questioning his sexuality or something hysterical likethat somehow involving roofing... and then he was back over standing over ryan and ryan had his knees bent ya know on his back and he wa slike singing telling jeff to go down on him LMAOOOO and Jeff put his hand down ryan's legs into his crotch and ryan was dying (this was DIRECTLY INFRONT OF ME BTW) and then jeff wa ssinging about lowering himself onto ryan and He was doing just tht...LOWERING HIMSELF DOWN ONTO RYAN LMAO and Ryan was like dying jeff kept more into character tbh but he was giggling too at some points but by this point the whole roofing thing just went out the window and it was like gay porn happening on the stage and even ryan realized it and he was like SINGING "CAN THIS GET ANY GAYER????" LMaoooo and once he sang that (and btw jeff was just full on stradling him at this point with his hands on him) Jeff lost it and then Greg and Joel decided to join in the song with dancing like it was the 80s all over the stage but jeff and ryan were just rolling around together on stage and i was just like what the the hell did my eyes just witness. LMAO when ryan was all can this get any gayer tho i was like ONLY IF YOU WHIP IT OUT because that is literally how much it really was. I was like WTF IS HAPPENING!! like i knew they could get wild and get close and stuff but this was literally other worldly. The entire audience was loosing their shit. Like there was a full on sex scene happening on stage I'm not even lying they REALLY, REALLY, REALLY!!!!!!!!! went there. lmaooo and when it ended they were still joking on about it for a few and ryan was just like "oh man" like he does when things et really wild lmaooo. and then they said goodnight and we all cheered and it was amazing and sad at the same time and then we waited around again and then that's when the old guy was all "would you ladies like to dance?" and at first we were like noo cuz like he was some random old guy in vegas. lmao but then he was like ya want to meet my wife and kayley went over ahaha i was like no way you can dance you're the dancer! NOT ME! mostly cuz jeff was there and also because my feet were KILLING me. seriously.they were bleeding. lmao so i stood there and videod her as ya'll saw and watched and listened to jeff and greg esp jeff cuz he was so loud and very into it LMAO! and then we werelike right at the table next to them as i said and finally the old guy convinced me to go up but i was like fineee but only if you go too to kayley hahaha and so the 3 of us were just up there dancing as jeff and greg and joel too were watching and it was wild. omg. so much happened there i don't wanna put here if you want to know the details you can message me for those. lmao thennnn later we were walking around the casino again and i played the dean martin slot machine because dean (I Won, yay) and then joel approached us and we were just there talking to him for a while and it was great because it was like talking to an old friend. He's so nice. haha and a genuinely funny guy!! then kayley got a drink and i decided i needed one too so we were walking into the place when somehow i spot jeff walking toward us and I was like (loudly of course) OMFG! THERE'S JEFF! and like flailed my arms up and kayley while trying to hide behind me or something went falling into the clothing rack that just happened to be there. people in the casino saw. jeff definitely saw. again more weirdness happened there that if you want details on you can message me (i'm trying to keep this less creepy publicly. lmao) i then was mortified that i did it loud and ducked into the place but he definitely heard and saw so there's that. Lmfao. I mean I don't think i would have been all OMFG!! except for the fact we walked around the whole place a lot and didn't see him and he's not exactly hard to miss so i just had figured he had gone upt o his room or something bahahaha. gues snot. oh well. oh ya i forgot we also met Bob really quick as he was heading up to his room! We shook his hands and told him he was great and the show was great and he thanked us and was all smiles, nice man of course.  then the next day we did an escape room (i was dumber than I thought lmao) and the mafia museum which was great because there was dean stuff and theyeven played ain't that a kick in the head and there was martin and lewis stuff and i was just like yaaaaaaaa!!! hahaha

then i ate like the biggest slice of pizza in my life lmao (it looked bigger in person trust me

and then we also went to see Vegas! The Show which was really fun and stereotypical Vegas so it was great. and got better seats for free

haha but sadly i was really sick that day :( haha then we wet back to the hotel and tried to sleep because i knew i needed it we hadn't orignally planned to sleep but as i was sick there was no way i couldn't. and then we were super sad to leave but had to obviously and then my flight from vegas to DC/Virginia was good and nice but then the mess atthe airport happened and I had a panic attack in the middle of an abandoned section of the airport and then went off on this jackass of a dude like full on. I was screaming at him arms flailing my heavyNY accent was A GO! lmao I was so pissed and he was a JERK like to everyone i genuinely wish i remembered his name and shit so i could report him and get him reprimanded or fired or something because he is like on my list of evil people he even LOOKS like a creep. like for real. he kept making me seem like i was an idiot and at that point i was so sick and so sick i was just like GONE. lmao but after my panic attack i finally found someone who wasn't a jerk and hse helped me get a decent flight and a hotelr oom and junk and then i got there and stuff bad happened there too and i was like ??? was i too lucky in Vegas?? Hahahah but then i slept which was nice even if it wasn't long enough and flew home and got in and got home and i was like yay onyl to find out my dad is a jerk and didn't do any of the stuff he promised he would do so i had to do it all that night before i could even sleep and then once i slept i was out til 4pm and i just keep sleeping a lot and im still sick tho i think im starting to feel better finally so fingers crossed. Damn you Jeff for getting me sick!!WORTH IT!! lmao

ok i think i covered anything if i forgot anything hopefully Kayley will fill ya'll in. this was nuts i can't believe i spent over 2 hours writing this and it's not even everything and I'm pretty sure I forgot important stuff. bahhhh. 3:59am ahaha

i was all we need pics when im in a butterfly shirt!!! lol