#lmao lmao sorry my social anxiety just rules my life dude

[barkingangelbaby]

okay but I'm so proud of myself for going to an event by myself :') made some pals in the merch line that kept me company for the last hour n a half which was very nice :) one of them actually went to my college for a semester so that was a wow! moment. now to decide if I'm still gonna wait here by myself in case the two crew comes out... hmmmmm..

[blackdragoness]

⛽GASING YOU UP, BABY⛽

YALL NOT READY FOR ALL DIS' GASSSSS. Lemme gasssss yo lil fat head up, okayyyy. This PICK-A-PILE is for you!

"somebody call 911, shawty fiyah burnin' on da dance floor." -sean kingston

Pile 1 -

Pile 2 -

Pile 3 -

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Pile 1: Show Stunnah 🌻

Overall Tarot Card: The Devil 😈

Channelled Song: Pretty Girl Rock by Keri Hilson

⛽ The gasssss on you is....⛽

🚨🚨ALARMS GOING OFF. YOU SHUTTING THIS SHIT DOWNNNN. LESSSGOOOO 🚨🚨

First of all, you muthafucka's is FINE as hell! I'm talking about FOIIINNEEEE as hell. Body on fleek, face card never declines. As soon as you walk into the room, all eyes are on you and all your competition starts to die a little inside 😂 You are the talk of the town, the talk of every circle, babbyyy 🤤 But y'all been knew dat, 😏

"BEEN that bitch, still that bitch" - Megan The Stallion

Natural beauty with the confidence to match

Confidence of a lion(ess)

Honestly, physically, you got it muthafuckin' going on dawg, what the fuckkkkk. Out of all the piles, this one wins in the Looks Department LOL sorry to the other piles

I'm seeing a face that is so fucking beautiful and angelic. Forever youthful.

Your beauty never dies and it never ages.

I have this huge urge to gasp in awe! You make people gasp with your beauty, ermagerrrdddd this is too cute! I feel like I'm melting in your presence 🫠. It's like everytime people see you in person, you take their breathe away and all they can do is gasp in awe at your undeniable beauty 😂😂😂 it's so fucking corny bro, but damn. That was a channelled message for someone's fine ass out there. You got it like that Mami/Papi, *snap snap snap*

A literal fucking goddess/god. Like you make men want to turn all romantic and old school, writing poems and singing outside your window in the middle of a full moon & shiiit. Or for my men, you make a girl wanna break all her rules and go buck wild for you!!! Like this shit crazzzyyy!! But this is what you be doing to these people lmaoooo!

I'm sure you're a great person on the inside and all, but there is so much emphasis on your physique that I apologize if you feel exploited right now 😂😂 and tbh, you might know the effects your body causes on people so you might be a person with strong boundaries. But damn Papi, what dat body do? 😏

With the devil card crowning your reading, people are OBSESSED WITH YOU!!! Bitch, who tf are you? Why is everyone so fucking obsessed with yo ass!? Lmao

"I can do bad all by myself." You're very independent but you may have many friends too.

Imma just say it flat out: YOU GOT THAT GOOD WAP BABYYYYYY. THAT GOOD WOOD, ya know what I'm sayin' 😂 rumor has it, you can fucking werkkkk it. You got people THIRSTY AF out here, mayneee. Chilllllllll.

You got this hella chill vibe to you though. Like laid-back. Relaxed. Not about the shits or the drama. People can try to ruffle your feathers to get any type of reaction out of you but you stay unbothered AF and that's what draws them nearer to you.

You have a gift for social interactions. Most people have social anxiety but you maneuver and work the room with ease and calmness. It's very admirable.

So many people want to marry you dude, I'm not even kidding. But I'm sensing that you are just focused on yourself and your goals. Relationship isn't a priority in your life right now. But that also is what turns the thirst factor UP when it comes to you.

SEXY, SEXY, SEXY, SEXY, SEXXXXX-Y.

Rich girl, city girl, material gworl vibes

"You always got dem eyes on you" - people love to watch you and stare at you. Sometimes people zone out in conversation with you because your beauty distracts them 😂 you could be talking to them in perfect pronunciation and speed but they won't hear a damn thing you said lol I guess your beauty is deafening too 😂

As beautiful and as sexy as you are, you also have a tender kindness when you interact with anybody. Your beauty shines both inside and out and that's why you are the mf GOAT.

You turn heads every where you go. You got bitches jealous wishing they was you. Ermahgerrrddd, I'm getting a rush of energy from tons of people who fantasize about what it would be like if they had your life. Honestly, that sounds like I'm over hyping y'all, but it's the truth lol. Maybe knowing this information will help you see the beauty of your own life and appreciate it for what it is. Because from folks looking on the outside into your life, they would literally trade spots with you in a heartbeat. Heck, they are already doing it in their daydreams. Recognize that YOU ARE THAT BITCH.

You may come from a great family life. Or people think you come from a super good looking family judging based off of your looks alone lol

A lot of people want to be tied to you in some way. People feel that being connected to you gives them "brownie points" in popularity 😂😂 some people may try to befriend you for clout. I'm not even getting social media vibes, although y'all may be big on social media too. But I'm sensing like real life clout, which is ten times better than social media clout, ya feel me. It's almost like knowing you in real life makes people feel more important in real life.

Y'all are the IT GIRL/ IT BOY. Everyone wanna be you, do the things you do, talk like you, walk like you, fucking everyfannnggg!!! I cannot with y'all. You guys are unreal but thats why we are so fucking obsessed with you, booo. Keep doing you and keep being you 🌻

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Pile 2 - Cutie Pie 🥧

Overall Tarot Card: Ace of Cups

Channelled Song: My Bestie by Lloyd ft Sevyn

⛽ The gasssss on you is.....⛽

🍯🍯CUTENESS OVERLOAD!!!!!!! YOU ARE THE CUTEST FUCKING THING EVER 🍯🍯

Everyone wants to hug you, squeeze you, love on you. Stick you in their pocket and take you home. This vibe is so mushy and gooey!

Everybody's little sister. You provoke a very protective spirit in those around you and those close to you. You are looked at as something that needs to be protected at all costs.

I dunno what it is about you but people will go to bat for you no matter the situation or the time. If ever you are in trouble, you have a whole gang of people who you can count on to drop what they are doing and prioritize you. Even if they are pissed off at you, they would lay their differences to the side and come to your rescue.

You make people feel very emotional when it comes to even just the thought of you. You are so special to people I don't think you realize that!

You are that person in people's lives that they cannot imagine ever losing. Like an angel in disguise who needs to be protected from this cruel world.

You attract friends like flies!!!!! This pile is SOOOOOOO popular and you don't even have to try. You could actually be a more introverted and reserved person but constantly have a crowd of people with you.

Sooooo warm and soft. Feels like I'm sinking in an ocean of really warm honey. That's how you make people feel.

People LOVE hugging you, cuddling you, and feeling you. Your presence is very calming and motherly.

You have great motherly instincts and people trust you with their children and animals. Kids might naturally flock to you and easily trust you because of your kind nature.

You may only consider a small group of people as friends but there are so many people who consider you as one of their best friends. You may make some friends jealous because they envisioned some type of exclusive friendship with you. However, a lot of people need you in their life and so that's something they need to come to terms with.

A lot of people feel like they can confide in you with confidential matters, knowing it will be kept safe. You also give really great advice that helps people progress further on their life path.

You are a very necessary presence in many peoples life stories. If every human soul had a book about their life, there would be at least one chapter about you in multiple life books. While most people are only focused on writing their own book, they are scarcely mentioned in other stories. But you, you are very necessary in the development of other people's life journeys. Like you make an impact on their story for the better. Wowwwww. I can only imagine that this role comes with a lot of positive karma for you and your generations to come.

You beautify every place you enter, every floor you walk on, and every person you meet. You are a contagious ray of light that shines everywhere you go even in the darkest of places.

You very rarely compete or get jealous of people and that's why many consider you to be their best friend. They feel completely free to be themselves around you with no judgement, guilt or shame.

You are unapologetically yourself and it's a big turn on for the opposite sex.

Many people wish they could possess your unapologetic nature but they are realizing it is a lot harder to mimic than they thought.

"I walk like this cuz I can back it up. I got a big ego" -Beyonce

You been through a lot and it shows through how sweet and caring you are. And because you put out that energy, people wanna love you the same way in return.

You really tug at people's heart strings when they think of you. I'm hearing "a heart of gold and titanium". So valuable and indestructible.

You have been placed on this throne by a lot of people. Very very respected and admired. I'm hearing you proved yourself. Your true colors shown and they worked in your favor.

An example for others to follow

A true royal

SELF-CONTROL, SELF-CONTROL, SELF-CONTROL. You have so much self control and people are both envious and admiring that trait of yours. "The one with the most control over themselves is the one with the most power in the room."

You might be a very adaptable person. You literally can chop it up with anybody you want! No personality is too hard for you to adapt to.

You have such a knack for resolving conflict. You can de-escalate any situation with your soft spoken voice and level-headedness. Things always run smoother when you are around.

People take you seriously and really listen when you speak. You may not vocalize your opinions as often as others, but when you finally do, it shocks people, so they listen.

A deep well of wisdom.

Honorable. Highly respected. Highly trusted.

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Pile 3 - LEGEND ⚜️

Overall Tarot Card: 8 of Pentacles

Channelled Song: One Call Away by Bina Butta

⛽ The gasssss on you is.....⛽

🥶🥶 YOU OUT HERE GIVING US THE SHIVERS WITH YO ICY FINE ASS 🥶🥶

BOSS BITCHHHHH. I see you focused on that bag and getting that bag!!! If you chose this pile, YOU LOOK LIKE MONEY, HUNNY 🤑

"came through drippin *drip drip*"

You are a hard ass worker. I'm getting strong energy coming from the workplace you work at. You got a lot of people dumbfounded at your work ethic. For some reason, I'm getting that they didn't think you were going to be the type of worker that you are.

You may be known as someone who bosses up every time you experience a hardship in life. It's actually pretty phenomenal to watch.

Phoenix rising from the ashes.

You are that one character in a movie story that never dies 😂 it's like no matter how many battles you fight, you never fucking die lol it's annoying to your haters but so inspiring to those who witness this inner strength of yours.

You are a LEGEND! Some people think that your life experiences are too good to be true. But they just ain't ever met nobody like you before thats why. I'm hearing that behind your back people try to investigate the validity of your story just to be humbled when they find witnesses who retell the same story.

People want to know the depths of your life experience. I'm getting that people view you kind of like Indiana Jones who is well travelled with many stories and adventures to tell for many days.

You inspire people to think outside of the box. To want more for themselves and be open to newer opportunities that can make them feel free and alive again. You make them want to explore life again.

You walk around like a large ball of life force energy. Anything within a 5 foot radius of you starts to be influenced by your vibration.

A lot of people speak about you!!! A lot of people have your name in their mouth. It's very positive though. I'm hearing a lot of praise, chanting your name. Celebrating you!

I sense you might be hermit mode or really just focusing on yourself. People can see the changes that are happening through your physical appearance . Your hardwork and focus shines through your countenance.

You have a lot more people who support and love you. Im feeling that for this pile, the support isn't as apparent as it was for Group 2. I'm feeling like this pile stands alone with lots of silent supporters. Something about you being very intimidating or being closed off to a connection is what's blocking people from showing their support but it's like they understand why you are closed off and respect your boundaries.

People feel like you are going very far in life and will hit it big in the future. They want to see you win and are silently watching until then.

The way you carry yourself is top notch alpha type vibes. Specifically for my feminines, this is so sexy about you. You carry this masculine energy in such a sexy feminine way it intimidates and submits even the strongest of men. Very BAWS BOSS like.

RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 🦁

BOSS, BOSS, BOSS, BAWSSSYYYYYY

"Dat ass, dat ass, dat ass, dat ass" 🤨🤨okaaayyyy, someone clearly has a nice juicy ass that needs to be pointed out 🤷🏾‍♀️

You must have a very strong presence in your work place because the energy keeps taking me to a work environment. Either that or you think about work all the time 😂 you really are such an independent woman. Some may call it hyper independent but do you honey. Set the standard as high as you want. Don't let their intimidated ass opinion shrink you 😉

Maybe you own a lot of businesses or aspire to own your own business. People see the potential for you. But I'm getting indecisive energy. You are probably really talented at SOOO many things and are weighing out your options. However, you know that once you have made your decision, there is no stopping you from reaching the top. Everyone else knows it too and that's why they are silently watching you.

You are a rare human. You have an imagination that is so active. Anything you imagine, you create in this world. You were probably a very imaginative kid and highly active. With how hard you work coupled with your crazy active imagination, you actually have the power to manifest whatever you want into existence. Maybe you are aware of that. Maybe you aren't. But channelling this energy feels very magnetic and strong. Keep your imaginations alive. Keep your dreams alive. Chase them.

People wonder how you gained such a bright imagination. They wish they could have that light that you have. You heal a lot of people's inner child by giving them experiences to exercise their imagination. Maybe you enjoy conversations about the trendy things from people's childhoods or you like to talk about the future a lot. You spark creativity and imagination for people and it gives them motivation for life again.

You lead by example. Lots of people are out here running they mouth but you stay steady on your grind proving your worth through your life.

You have silent supporters because you are a silent leader. You don't do much talking. You just do the damn thing and later on people find out what you did and are completely shocked.

You are a bombshell. Not only do you look great but you're like a ticking time bomb in people's minds. You constantly have people stewing over you and then boom, you do something that blows everybody's minds lol. I like this vibe. Very spontaneous and fun to be around

[eldritchsurveys]

901.

5k Survey XXVIII

1351. Have you ever wished for wings that work? >> No. 1352. Have you ever imagined that you are not really of this world? >> Sure, because my current understanding of myself does operate on that principle. 1353. Did you have an imaginary friend as a child? >> I had what seemed like typical childhood imaginary friends, until lo and behold, I passed adolescence and young adulthood and I still had them.  1354. Do you still have imaginary friends? >> I prefer the term “soulbonds” now. It’s a little more accurate to me than “headmates” because they’re not in my head. 1355. Do you enjoy reading children’s books? >> Not as a rule. There are some I enjoy.

1356. Are you decadent? >> A luxuriously self-indulgent person? When I’m at my best, yeah. 1357. What would make you happy that money cannot buy? >> --- 1358. What would make you happy that money can buy? >> Moving out of this complex. 1359. Where do you hang out on your spare time? >> In my room. 1360. Do you delight in minor euphoria? >> Minor euphoria? That’s an odd turn of phrase to me, but sure, I like little happinesses. 1361. It’s (what time is it?) ______. >> 3.58p EST. Do you know where your: Mom is?  Dad is?  First boyfriend or girlfriend is? Boy or girlfriend is? Best friend is?  Soul mate is?  Wallet is? Next to me on the nightstand. 1362. Who do you feel sorry for? >> I don’t feel sorry for anyone. 1363. What will you never say in front of your parents? >> --- 1364. Do you change your personality and behavior depending on who you are with? >> A bit. Mostly it’s just a shift between more and less guarded. 1365. Are you waiting for marriage to lose your virginity? >> --- 1366. What year were you born? >> 1987. 1367. What is your sign? >> Gemini. 1368. What year did you/will you graduate from high school? >> I graduated in 2004. 1369. Do you use moisturizer? >> Yeah. 1370. On what parts of your body? >> My whole body? I have skin everywhere, lmao. 1371. Are the 70’s back in style? >> I don’t know. Not that I’ve noticed, I guess. 1372. Do you read any magazines? >> Mostly I just read articles online. 1373. Do you read before going to sleep at night? >> Yep. 1374. Are you a music maker? >> No. 1375. Are you a dreamer of the dreams? >> I... don’t know how to answer this. 1376. How do you feel about large corporations? >> I distrust them wholly. 1377. How do you feel about people who are, “just doing their job”? >> At first I was confused by this, and then I realised that the context must be a situation where someone does something that causes harm to someone else and then shrugs it off as “just taking orders” or “just doing their job”. It sucks that that’s a thing that happens. 1378. Which would you watch of these choices: Pitch black I wouldn’t mind seeing this again. The mummy Or this. Pretty woman 1380. About what percent of the time do you feel good about yourself? >> A low percent of the time. 1381. Do you feel comfortable with other people (in social situations)? >> Not usually. 1382. Do you have good friends/family relationships? >> No. 1383. How do you control your tension and anxiety? >> I don’t. I just try to deal with it without going apeshit. 1384. Are you able to meet the demands of life and function in society? >> Not very well, obviously. 1385. Do you curb your feelings of hatred and guilt? >> Curb them how? 1386. Do you maintain a positive outlook? >> No, my goal is to maintain a rational outlook -- accounting for both the shittiness and the goodness of things. 1387. Does knowing you enrich the lives of others? >> I doubt that. 1388. What things do you cherish? >> Hm. 1389. To what extent do you value diversity? >> I don’t know how to answer this. Like, I like that there’s a lot of different kinds of people in the world, and I’d never want to be deprived of that experience? 1390. What fascinates you? >> Oh, you know. Things. 1391. Do you appreciate nature? >> Appreciate? I guess? I think it’s cool when flowers exist and the sun rises and shit? 1392. If you could be someone else for a day who would you be? >> No. 1393. Would you ever consider ‘psychic surgery’ if you were ill? How about voodoo? Herbal remedies? >> What the fuck is psychic surg-- actually, no, I don’t want to know. I don’t know what you think “voodoo” is, and I’m content to not have you elaborate, because it’ll probably piss me off. As far as herbal remedies are concerned, if there is no adverse interaction with whatever pharmaceuticals I’m on, then sure, maybe. It just depends. 1394. How effective do you feel meditation is? >> My actual answer to this would be way too long for the purposes of a survey, so I’m just going to say: it really fucking depends. Don’t let them market [whatever version of meditation they’re trying to sell now] to you as a one-size-fits-all solution. 1395. How effective do you feel prayer is? >> I assume its effectiveness is related to one’s goal. It’s probably very effective for feeling connected to one’s deity, and not very effective for spontaneously curing cancer. 1396. How do you think that you (or anyone, for that matter) could pray without ceasing? >> How would I know? I don’t do that and I don’t know anyone who does. I imagine the only people who try it are far away from modern society. 1397. Is religion a live option for you (that is, a possibility, something you are drawn to even if you have no belief)? >> Yeah, I do think of it as a live option (that’s good terminology, gonna have to remember that). 1398. What part of your body do you lavish the least attention and love on? >> The whole thing, dude. 1399. How many clocks are in your house? >> Just the one, on my wall. The rest of the timepieces are connected to electronics (computers, phones, the microwave). 1400. What topics would you like to see more of on this survey? >> I’m sure anything I can think of will be touched on at least briefly in this survey, considering how insanely long it is.

[quackspot]

So you just feel you need to prepare yourself? Or do you just not have any interest right now? Feel free not to answer if you are uncomfortable.

i dont really have any interests i would just rather prepare myself so then its easier for me to understand and talk to people since communication is easily one of the most important things in any relationship (m gona talk about a video i watched a while ago below the cut and uh oh sisters slight venting but like oh well i guess)

a while ago i watched a series of videos about making friends i think it was like... last tuesday?? yeah because there was a few tornados on th night of 9/10 and we got a late start on 9/11 isnt that wack

i watched like the final 2 videos of this series of friendship-making i think it was called the “bee friends” course

while the advice is helpful and i like to think about the topics a lot i also need to like, actually do things, which is hard sometimes and im sure a therapist would help me with opening up to people instead of barfing all my problems onto a google doc or walking around the girl’s locker room because im too nervous to ask people in the cardio room what they’re doing which is because i was the only one who signed up for the weight room (my legs were in PAIN and i didnt want to make it worse but now theyre fine! my shoulders just kinda hurt) and i didnt want to feel left behind or that i was late i have a lot of problems revolving around being seen as “late” or “stupid” its really wack wait where was i

ok so like therapists yeah that woudl help ! they are mental professionals and at times i have considered looking into that field as a job . of course i can have mental problems and still be a therapist but it would help if i didnt have like... strong symptoms of social anxiety (self diagnosis galore thanks google doctor for the symptoms list) 

though i dont think it’s that bad its only pretty bad at its worst. i was fearful of messing up last friday when we were doing presentations on a final affirmation project and i wasted like most of the class just trying to get myself to get up and present it to a teacher (we didnt have to present to the class thank god lmao) and i ended up getting a 3, aka an A. 

OH YEAH THE VIDEOS LMAO SORRY FOR FORGETING THEM KLSJDKLJKLDJKALJLSJDKLADF

the bee friends course introduces you with the uhh 5 tiers of friendship (which is like... strangers, friends, close friends, something, significant other and then 2 extra ones, neutral and foe)

neutral is like 5 seconds and its just the judgement phase- whether someone is comfortable to be around or uncomfortable to be around and you shouldnt befriend them because their VIBES are RANCID-- i understand the “foe” section okayly since i have classified 2 people as foes in my life. once when i was in like first grade bc i was like “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS DUDE IS LIKE THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF ME” also his last name was spears and i was like “haha britney spears” in my head a lot it was grand and then the 2nd one is recently who i still dont like and still am not comfortable being aroudn (i walked around him and typically avoid him due to his actions and his vibes)

the strangers is when ur like “ok i can be a round this person” and yeah. thats about it 

maybe i forgot about acquaintances? yeah i forgot about that ? maybe but thts like... class mates i guess ? 

idk then theres the others

when the guy explaining the course and talking about stuff was talking i was like “haha just like bideo game...” esp when he was talking about a kind of point system to determine your friendship level 

and theres like... 4 things that go into it? dont quite recall what they all are. there’s also ! the golden rule of friendship which is basically “dont make people sad all the time otherwise they wont want to hang out with you” which is pretty common sense. yes you can be sad with people sometimes but like... if theyre having a fun time and you randomly rush in and throw your problems at them without warning or permission then theyre probably not going to want to hang out as often !! 

and then there’s the personal value thing???? like how valued u r to be a friend. normally if you: look successful/non-threatening(??), have some friends (very important), and do some other things then people will want to be your friends and making friends will be so much easier

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHfGgOfmbx4&list=PLE_vQWWxgaiHbUFDuNnqxfui3lrE2jjwO

here;s a playlist and omg etheres an 8th episode aaaaaaaaaaaaaa AND I NEED TO SHOWER AAAAAAAAAAAA FSKJLJDKSLAJKLDSJKLAJKLSDJAKLJ LKSDJKLAJKL DJKLDJAKL JFKLSD JAKLJKLFSD